#if that ain't aesthetic i don't know what is
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
neverendingford · 8 months ago
Text
.
#tag talk#I feel good cause a new friend at work said something about how my boyfriend hasn't talked much to him since meeting me#And I was like uh oh I do not want to be that bitch#and I know he's been trying to organize some kind of game might and I was like rip you can't get him to play stardew valley with you#and I don't like stardew valley so I was like hey what about minecraft? because if I get them playing together on a realm then It's fixed#so anyway now I might have a new server and friend group to play with and hopefully I'll be less in the way of the preexisting friend group#because I'm really conscious of when I'm the reason stuff goes poorly so I don't wanna be a reason friends don't hang out anymore.#cause that shit sucks. jealous girlfriend type can go die I ain't about hogging people I don't feel good about it.#I just want everyone to get along and be friends#I'm putting in the work to learn bedrock mechanics. that's how committed I am to this. I hate variations on an established base.#it's the autistic in me for sure. I loathe multiple versions of songs. there can only be one true version. one right answer. all else is bad#so the slight discrepancies between bedrock and Java drive me absolutely nuts bonkers up the wall#I read a really good twilight fanfic and it rewired my brain and now I'm forever mixing up which is cannon and which is fanfic#because my brain immediately booted the version I preferred less and installed the new fanfic version as the correct right version#anyway. I'm hunting tutorials that actually explain the mechanics and taking notes so I know how to adjust the designs for aesthetics#because you need the minimum mechanical base to work before you can ad lib a building style and design onto the structural framework#I figured out the iron farm mechanics so tomorrow I think I'm gonna work on gold farm stuff. and redstone I just want to learn myself
2 notes · View notes
beastblade69 · 6 months ago
Text
I looovee when antifa queers (and not queers, but those are mostly queers) consume russian content. ISTG UR FUCKING ANTIFA LIKE?? U OK WITH FINANCING A FASCIST STATE BY LISTENING TO TGE ARTISTS FROM THAT STATE (WHO THEN PAY THEIR BILLS DIRECTLY TO THE GOVERNMENT)
1 note · View note
2c75ff · 9 months ago
Text
tag dump;
General:
— ic ▸ what's so foolish about wanting to have a little fun? — ooc ▸ we're gonna hit you with the aftermath — inbox ▸ and what do you want now? — memes ▸ nobody is as strong as i am — headcanons ▸ a part of the game — drabbles ▸ you're hitting your limit while i'm just getting in it — countenance ▸ am i giving you a hot flash? — my art ▸ you ain't seen the best of me yet — crack ▸ your sensors must be malfunctioning — saved ▸ too much is not enough
Supplementary:
— musings ▸ my whole life all i wanted was a change of pace — aesthetics ▸ break out the gate with a rock in your walk — fashion ▸ talking the talk; put up or shut up — interests ▸ you know it ain't easy running out of thrills — audio ▸ we make it loud
Verses:
— main; post cell ▸ i still don't fuck with the in crowd
1 note · View note
daemiurges · 1 year ago
Text
     TAG DUMP (SONG IS "QUEEN" BY TODRICK HALL)
0 notes
shake-a-peepaw · 1 year ago
Text
tag dump!
0 notes
cripple-punk-dad · 2 years ago
Text
I KNEW THIS WOULD HAPPEN
I knew that the second I saw Hobie Brown get popular again (who is a great character 10/10 don't get me wrong) I'd also start seeing a ton of clowns start saying shit like "Taylor swift is punk actually" and "you don't have to listen to punk music to be punk" and "I love the punk aesthetic but hate the music"
THE CULMINATION OF THIS????
Someone asked me if my battle vest (which I've been working on for years atp) was part of a hobie brown cosplay.
Anyways here are some things about the punk subculture that y'all need to know:
-It is a MUSIC-BASED SUBCULTURE. If you aren't listening to punk music then buddy you ain't punk. Idc what band(s) you listen to but like. That's where the punk culture started man. Do some research.
-punk is secondarily about values. This is why you have Nazis in the punk community alongside hardcore anarchists. Since it's music first, and values second, there's a lot of different mindsets. Primarily it is about being anti-authority. That's what most punk music is about tbh but Nazis are just stupid and will do some fantastic mental gymnastics to make punk music fit their agenda. There's a song called "fuck off Nazi punks" for a reason
-you don't have to "look punk" to be punk.
-you can "look punk" but not be punk (we call these people posers)
Punk as a subculture has a long and rich history. A huge part of it (that often gets ignored) is from small pockets of black people in the UK that were rebelling against systemic racism. A lot of it (meaning the music) is based in revolution, disrespect of authority, and going against the mainstream. That's where a lot of the fashion comes from too. Handmade, shitty d.i.y stuff, stolen stuff, cheap stuff, all of these things are punk fashion because that goes against the mainstream ideal of consumerism and because the founding movements behind it were rooted in lower class struggles against the bourgeoisie. You don't see many genuine billionaire punks. We are not here to look pretty, we are here to smell bad and break shit. And listen to fucking sickass music
6K notes · View notes
redbullgirly · 11 months ago
Text
Million Dollar Man [LS18 smau]
Lance Stroll x reader [social media au]
Masterlist
Summary: Lance's girlfriend isn't afraid to show how much her boyfriend loves and spoils her. Unfortunately, "fans" seem to think she's a gold digger. But who would Lance and Y/N bee if they just let it slide?
Warnings: A lot of hate towards the reader by online trolls and just toxic fans, at the end she and Lance shuts them up but if you're not in the right head-space to read this, then please don't.
yourusername posted on instagram
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
liked by lance_stroll, fernandoalo_oficial, astonmartin and 192,344 others
tagged: astonmartin and lance_stroll
yourusername life lately... how about you? 🍰💐
view all 3209 comments
user1 more like: life lately 💸💸💸
user2 LOL
lance_stroll life lately has been great ❤️
liked by the author
user3 Lance don't worry we're going to save you!!
user4 our guy is lyinggggg i can feel it
user5 Oh my god let them live a happy life you trolls🤦‍♀️
user6 how can you know it's happy when she clearly uses him for money?🤨
user5 And how can you know it's not? Besides I don't think she uses him for anything🤷‍♀️
user4 then your just as naive as him user5 lol
user7 she's so classy a love it!😻
user8 Can she even drive or she just wanted to take a photo in his car?
fernandoalo_oficial You are slaying Queen!😉
fernandoalo_oficial Did I do it correctly yourusername?
yourusername it's great nando, just please never use that emoji again and you'll be ready do graduate from my gen-z university!
fernandoalo_oficial Damn it I knew all you use these days is this one: 💀
yourusername 💀
user9 OKAY I DON'T CARE ABOUT ANYTHING ANYONE SAYS ABOUT HER AND LANCE CAUSE I LOVE Y/N AND NANDO INTERACTIONS MORE THAN MY OWN LIFE!!
user10 i'm convinced she holds both aston drivers hostage in her basement and is forcing them to comment on her posts
user11 It's probably not even her own basement but Lance's😭
user12 nah she ain't even that pretty
user13 omg no way this post is the way I found out lance mf stroll has a girlfriend?🤠
user14 GIRL you have so much lore to catch up on
user15 Yeah welcome to the worst wag ever fandom xd
user13 wait I'm so confused... why do we hate her???
user14 bc she's basically a gold digger, like from the moment her and lance started dating she's been posting only about shopping and showing off herself and her bf's money
user12 plus she ugly af
user15 Yeah and there are rumors on twitter about her being really mean to everyone and that the whole paddock hates her and stuff...
user13 okay I get that but tbh we can't believe everything that's on f1 twitter
user14 idc she's a bitch even without the rumors
user15 I can tell Y/N is trying so hard to have the rich girly aesthetic... it's actually embarrassing😂
astonmartin Wow you have a great car right there😍
user16 more like her sugar daddy lance has it lol XD
user17 guys be fr if you had a rich boy you'd be spending his money too!!!
twitter
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
yourusername and lance_stroll posted on instagram stories
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
yourusername posted on instagram
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
liked by estabanocon, lance_stroll, astonmartinf1 and 206,948 others
tagged: astonmartinf1 and lance_stroll
yourusername thank you spa for having me! what a race, congrats to my favourite driver lance_stroll on p9 & his teammate fernandoalo_oficial on p5! great team work, hope to see you on another grand prix in the future astonmartinf1 💚🏆
view all 4022 comments
astonmartinf1 we hope to see you on another grand prix as well Y/N!🤩
liked by the author
user1 you don't have to lie admin, it's waste of money on her... better give the paddock pass to someone else
astonmartinf1 well, we definitely won't give it to you user1, so no need to worry about it 😙
user2 daaaamn, the admin is coming for y'all haters
user3 Of course she had to wear the racing suit... c'mon that's so embarrassing🙄
user4 actually it's pretty normal, I'm pretty sure Max's gf also wore his racing suit at some point
user3 Yeah but I at least like and respect Kelly... Y/N is a horrible gold digger
user4 well then I'm pretty sure it's your problem, not hers🤷‍♀️
user5 girl stop pretending you care about racing we all know you do it just for pr and cash xdd
user6 Honestly I'm not a Lance Stroll fan, but he deserves someone better than her...
lance_stroll Thank you to my favourite wag! 🥳❤️
yourusername love you baby!!!💞
user7 favourite wag😂 good joke😂😂
user8 am I the only one who finds their interaction cute??
user9 yeah you are user8... like just look at it, it's so forced... wouldn't be surprising if their whole relationship was fake
user10 You can hate on her all you want, but she's actually gorgeous in the third pic😻
user11 YUUUCCKK🤮🤮🤮
user12 you see I would be fine with this post if she didn't have to show off the aston martin car again!!!
user13 Hey did you notice she tagged Nando in the caption and he didn't reply to her? I call it ✨karma✨ lol
user14 maybe he escaped from her basement😭
user15 💚💚
user16 sorry but I can't help it. There's just something fishy about Y/N and I can't bring myself to like her at all
user17 Guys who is this girl and why does she get more hate in her comments than hailey bieber??💀
user18 I hate how she makes the whole Grand Prix about herself
user19 no but fr... like honey, idc about you and your favourite driveeer
user20 Tf?? She literally called LANCE her favourite driver how is that about her... you haters are so dumb🤦‍♀️
user21 I bet she read the comments on twitter about how she's bad gf for not going to any races and decided to fix her image by this XD
user19 lmfao didn't probably work the way she hoped
messages between Y/N and Lance
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
lance_stroll posted on instagram
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
liked by yourusername, sebastianvettel, f1 and 330,219 others
tagged: yourusername
lance_stroll As some of you now, I am not very active on social media. Today I'm making an exception for Y/N, my lovely girlfriend I've been dating for almost a year now. She is one of the greatest, most kind, caring and selfless people I know. I don't know where the idea of our relationship being unhappy, one-sided or even insincere came from, but I would like to make it very clear once and for all that these assumptions are as far from the truth as they can be.
In my life, I experienced a lot of hateful comments and reactions myself. It is not something I wish anyone should have to go through and it's disgusting. I love Y/N with all my heart and I hope that one day, she'll make me the happiest man alive and allows me to marry her, build a family together. No one will ever again speak about her in an inappropriate way, or they'll be blocked and possibly face legal actions taken agains them. I am very serious about this.
Y/N, I'm not afraid to call you the love of my life. I never want to see you cry because of some meaningless hater. Love you to the moon and back, sweetheart ❤️
view all 4823 comments
user1 It's just so heartbreaking how Lance himself had to go through so many waves of hate because of his dad and now he had to watch Y/N go through it too...😓
yourusername love you to the moon and back too lance!!!💖
lance_stroll Wouldn't have it any other way honey!😌
user2 you know it's serious when sebastianvettel shows up
astonmartinf1 once the it couple, always the it couple!💚 proud to say we were never a hater😘
user3 i still think it's fake
fernandoalo_oficial and I think you are fake🤪
user4 LMAO nando come and get the haters lets goooo
user5 That's how you shut them up xd
fernandoalo_oficial how do you children say it? I AM LANCEY/N DEFENDER
user4 yeah yeah nando exactly that or you can say your a lancey/n truther
liked by fernandoalo_oficial
user5 omg I can't believe I just had online conversation with THE Fernando Alonso😭
user4 GIRL ME TOO AND HE EVEN LIKED MY COMMENT😭😭
f1 What a beautiful couple you are!🙌 Hope to see you in the paddock after summer break!😏
user6 "they'll be blocked and possibly face legal actions taken agains them" daaammmnn man is standing on business here
user7 Tbh I never understood why y'all hated on her sm she's literally so beautiful and seems kind as well🤷‍♀️
lilymhe pretty giiiirl
lance_stroll I couldn't agree more!❤️
yourusername oh stop you two I'm blushing
user8 Can we take a moment to appreciate how beautifully the caption is written?🥹 Lance really has some poetic talent!
liked by yourusername
user9 aaah she's still a gold digger and he's too blind to see it😂
user10 Yeah she probably charmed him in bed or sm
user11 Ohh user9 and user10... I wonder how it feels to know Lance and probably some other drivers hate you🫢
chloestroll My brother and my future sister-in-law!🥰
liked by the author and yourusername
yourusername 🥰🥰
user12 im actually so happy to see y/n replying to some of the comments and just being active without so much hate on her now!!!
yourusername posted on instagram
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
liked by lance_stroll, kellypiquet, fernandoalo_oficial and 299,102 others
tagged: lance_stroll and dior
yourusername they say if he wanted to he would... I say he wants to so he does 🌹❤️
comments have been limited
lilymhe she ate you jealous people up with that caption
liked by lance_stroll and fernandoalo_oficial
lilymhe also alex_albon me when??
dior Wow!❤️‍🔥
lance_stroll That's what real men do instead of trolling others on the internet.
yourusername daaammn baby
lance_stroll What? I'm just stating facts 😌
kellypiquet shopping trip to Paris when?😍
yourusername anytime you want!!!💕
astonmartinf1 So lucky to (basically) have you on our team💚
fernandoalo_oficial I call that a slay admin
astonmartinf1 ...should I tell him slay is kinda out dated??
yourusername aaah let him have his moment
fernandoalo_oficial WHAT?! YOU TRAITORS I THOUGH I WAS GEN-Z APPROVED
yourusername 🫢
THE END
Author's note: I hope you liked my first ever social media au story! I'll be glad for every feedback, comment, like, reblog and everything! You can definitely send me asks and requests for another smau's and even 'normal' fanfictions. Have a great day!
2K notes · View notes
dimepdf · 2 years ago
Text
★  𝐓𝐎𝐔𝐂𝐇-𝐀, 𝐓𝐎𝐔𝐂𝐇-𝐀, 𝐓𝐎𝐔𝐂𝐇 𝐌𝐄. + 𝐌𝐈𝐆𝐔𝐄𝐋 𝐎'𝐇𝐀𝐑𝐀
Tumblr media
masterlist. / taglist. / tip jar. synopsis. no matter how many times you try to convince yourself that Miguel is the bane of your existence, the way you react during training proves otherwise.
─── ☆ notes. i need fics of miguel being an absolute dick, like a petty bitch just for the hell of it i need more attitude yk? Like if that man isn't calling me a slut it ain't canon! | — feedback is always welcomed & don't forget to reblog 🤍
─── ☆ length. 4.3k (33 min read).
─── ☆ genre and warnings. +18 nsfw under the cut. minors dni | no spoilers | smut, enemies to lovers, maybe mutual pining, fighting and violence, semi public sex, gym sex, mentions of abuse, size difference, pain kink, strength kink, degradation kink, manhandling, power play(?), begging, rough sex, cervix kissing, choking, fangs, biting, marking, cunnilingus, eye contact, hair pulling, creampie, open ended, not an taiyo fic without a few typos.
Tumblr media
IF YOU ASKED any of the other Spider-men what they loved so much about being Spider-Man, their answers would all be the same, ranging from "the suit" to "the enhanced abilities." It was a no-brainer that being a superhero came with a few awesome perks.
Which was why your answer was just a bit confusing, "the combat." You would always smile, despite the many eyebrows raises and looks that convinced you you had to be some type of overcover masochist, especially since you would never really go into true detail about why.
Your reasoning behind putting on the mask was similar to all the others: another traumatized kid being thrown into a whole new reality that you never would have dreamed of being possible.
Sadly, you had been raised with the loss of most of your loved ones, and your family was in shambles from the abuse you would go through from them. It was the reason why it was difficult for you to grow up and make many friends, let alone navigate your abilities on your own accord, which was why it was a whole different ball game when you first joined the spider society.
When you first met Miguel O'Hara, you thought he was an overly intimidating man with an even more scary personality. Your aesthetics and morals would clash in the first few run-ins you would have with him.
In all honesty, you first thought him to be a massive dick who surprisingly needed more therapy than you did. From his bored expression to his unnerving glare, it was clear upon the first introduction that you two just would not get along.
Which was why the universe made him the only spider person willing and with enough free time to train you. It came as a surprise to you both, who are usually butting heads. Miguel was adamant about not wanting to waste his time training some little girl who didn't even know how to throw a punch.
With much shit-talking on your part and a lot of teasing claims of him being afraid that you were going to kick your ass, training had quite literally started in full swing.
It was probably a bad move on your part to push the buttons of the guy who was teaching you how to fight. Miguel was clear with his fight-style techniques. He was nimble with his limbs and swift on his feet. It was hard for anyone to get a hit on him, especially since he wasn't the type to hold back his punches. 
His teaching style was the same: your sessions included throwing you around as if you were some ragdoll and picking you up as if you weighed nothing, just to slam you into the ground with full bruising force.
There would be some very rare occasions when you would manage to get the upper hand on him. Miguel was about a foot taller than you, not to mention how pathetically compressed you looked standing next to him. You learned that the only way you could manage to get the upper hand was by using your size difference to your advantage.
All the sessions you won were hosted by you managing to tangle yourself from his claws and climb his towering figure into a headlock, praying that you had enough strength in your legs to make him tap out.
"How is she not dead yet?" Miles would mutter, looking concerned, as he stood from the sidelines of the training room, watching one of your sessions, as the blonde by his side didn't even wince at the sound of Miguel untangling you from the headlock you had him in.
His arms moved faster than you could process as he managed to loosen your hold enough to slam the air from your lungs as you fell back facing against the mat so hard that even Miles was convinced he could feel the blow in the lower spine.
"I mean, at this point, I'm kind of convinced she’s turned into his personal punching bag." Miles strains to watch Miguel not even wipe a sweat as he sprung back on his feet. He stretched out his full body, towering over you, curled flat against the mat, trying to collect your breathing as well as your broken ego.
Gwen nodded in agreement. "I don't even know how someone could hit someone so...squishy? She’s just so cute." She muttered, watching with her arms crossed. 
"This punching bag needs to learn that in the real world, people aren't going to go as easy on her just because she’s cute." Miguel, despite glaring at the two bystanders, leaned down and yanked you back onto your stumbling feet. 
Your fingers combed through the matted curls now drenched in sweat away from your forehead, using your water break as the perfect excuse to help cover up the reaction to the sudden compliment that came from his lips and the way he had made you feel.
"And her being my personal punching bag is completely at her fault, if you want to learn how to fight, you have to learn how to take a few punches." You couldn't help but roll your eyes and wave your hand out in annoyance at another one of Miguel O’Hara’s famous lectures.
"I’m not a punching bag, did you not see the hold I had on him early?" You huffed, almost choking on your water, trying to protest. Gwen humored your claim, the blonde reaching out and rubbing your shoulder out of support as you continued with your defense. "Any tighter, and I would have easily snapped his neck."
Of course, Miguel only smirked as you continued grasping at straws at the point of trying to prove to your friends your improvement, his eyes flitting back and forth at the exchange, expressionless at the sight of you managing to still joke around as if you weren't about to pass out from fatigue at any second.
"And was that before or after the part where I kicked your ass, little girl?" He shot out, chipping away at the final lock that held back your annoyance, you hadn't even had time to process the insult before he bumped his shoulder into you on his way out of the training room.
His rude exit enticed a round of reactions from Miles and Gwen trying their awkward best to comfort the boiling pot of anger they saw written all over your face, rolling your eyes, you pushed past the two, not without grumbling a string of insults in Miguel’s name to the washrooms.
You blessed the spider lords for somehow having the ability to shower under running water, let alone the unexplainable strange amount of amenities that the spider society dimensions had. 
Like a web shooter's wonderland, you quickly shed the sweating clothes you trained in and stepped foot into the cold cubicle shower booth, letting the water run for a bit until enough steam fogged clouded stepping under the stream. Even with the hot water splashing pressure against your aching muscles, no amount of water could manage to wash away the annoying feeling in your legs. 
It was enough of a jab at your pride to even find Miguel attractive in the first place, and here your body was betraying you once more, begging, throbbing desperately for his every touch in its every form, and having the nerve to grow more intense during your training.
The feeling had yet to fully disappear the next day, even with your session starting off with you fueled from yesterday's comments. You tried pushing the feeling as you were just ready to have Miguel mutter another word insult with the ass kick you were ready to give him. It was the only possible explanation for why you were so jittery about getting to training on time.
"It took you long enough." Was the first thing you heard Miguel announce throughout the empty room.
He wasn’t wearing his suit—neither of you did while training—instead, he was wearing dark gray sweatpants paired with some random dark red graphic shirt that fit him a bit too snuggly to leave room for imagination around his arms.
"Almost thought you were gonna skip out."
You were aware enough to spot this quick observation of your outfit as well. Keeping it casual and opting for better mobility, you shimmied yourself into plain Nike shorts that stopped higher up than you had expected them to on your thighs with a loose tank top that peeked out the straps of your sports bra.
Nothing about your clothes screamed attention grabbing—at least that's what you thought before you caught Miguel’s red-tinted stare on the way your shorts hugged your thighs.
He glanced away, muttering something in Spanish you couldn't quite translate the moment your fingers fidgeted with the bottom hems of the shorts, tugging them slightly more down while deciding to break the tense silence that had managed to sneak up on you. "So what are we doing today?"
"Huh, I’ve been thinking." He answered, followed by the clearing of his throat, "We try something a little different." You could never get used to the roughness of his voice or the way he spoke with so much arrogance that it reminded just about everyone that he thought he was better than just about everyone.
Even now that you stepped towards the middle of the mat, standing rigidly just a few paces away from him, you could tell from that stupid, cocky expression as he stood looking down at you that there was no possible way that he would ever see you as a real threat. "I want you to try to hit me." 
Your brows creased together in confusion. 
"What?" was all you asked, which seemed to be the wrong question to ask as Miguel stretched out a sigh from his mouth, his hands coming close to his to pinch the bridge of his nose. 
"I said hit me." He speaks more slowly, making sure to mockingly over pronounce every symbol in every word as if you were a child. "Preferably soon and as hard as you can." A grimace finds itself twisting on your lips before you can even process your bubbling annoyance. Your body moved on autopilot because of your keen senses, jumping over the swing of his left leg with ease.
You couldn't say that swift grace stuck with your attempt at a counterattack. Bending your knee just enough to reach out and kick, you were only met with the bottom of your foot stomping flat against the floor mat and Miguel dodging your kick, standing just a few paces away. "Too predictable," he scolded in that annoyingly deep voice you hated oh so much and totally did not turn on you at all. You sprung yourself up by the heels of your feet and charged at him with full determination to land at least one punch on his stupidly chiseled, handsome face.
It had been your second mistake, giving him too much time to brace himself. Already regretting your emotionally impulsive start, resulting in the punch you swung being easily deflected by Miguel.
His hand wrapped entirely around your wrist, bending your arm almost out of your socket and kicking the back of your knee to the mat with his heel. You feel down to a kneel with a hissing pain in your arm threatening to get worse at any wrong twist.
"Lose that fucking attitude, or you’ll get sloppy." As if your body could radiate any more anger, you knew he was just trying to push your buttons, trying to throw you off your game with smack talk that was not working on you or anything.
"Again," he prompted, letting your arm go and stepping back, egging on another attack from you.
"Give me a damn minute." No matter how much you wanted to snap back at him with something snarky, you knew it would only prove his point entirely—not only that but also the fact that he was mentally hitting you in all the places that he knew counted the most to throw you off your game. 
Biting back the insult you already had threatened to slip from your tongue instead of making a point by rolling your eyes as you stumbled back to your feet. Rolling your sore shoulder back as your eyes scan over his stance, trying to find the best opening for a better attack, you steady your breath and cloud your mind in thought. "You aren't going to get anywhere but dead standing around like that, you know."
So much for wanting to consider your options. Miguel took the first swing at you and was on the verge of kicking you on your ass if it weren't for your shoddy dodge.
"Didn't you just say I had to be less fucking predictable?" You snarled, lifting your foot with most of your weight pointed in the direction of his jaw. Surprisingly, the kick landed just not in the place you wanted it to; instead, Miguel’s arm blocked the blow, much to your annoyance.
"I also said—" All he was doing was using dodging moves on you, swiping your other foot from under you as he held the other one that you kicked up in his arm, resulting in you landing once again flat on your ass. "to lose that fucking attitude."
You had not gone down without a fight, twisting and kicking, trying to wrestle your limbs free by any means. Miguel had almost embarrassingly quickly ceased your squirming, his palm cuffing your arms and pressing hard against your chest as his other hand pressed tightly into your thighs, folding your legs in place under his hips.
The position was interesting, to say the least, but you still had some fight in you, wiggling against his grip with any strength you had left to break free. It was a useless battle, but the man had his grip around you tight as well as an overpowering size difference that blanketed your entire figure like one big rock.
And that's how you caught yourself in another web of misfortune. Your nerves are surging at the feeling of something—him brushing against your calf. Maybe it was all the adrenaline pumping through your veins or the fact that you were practically being manhandled so easily that did another thing to your body, or maybe it was just pure horny instability that your brain couldn't even process the lewd whine that tugged from your throat after the fact that it had happened.
Watching in pure horror as Miguel loomed on top of you, his mouth slightly agape as his chest heaved and his brows pulled together, the embarrassment from his confused, almost offended looking expression hit you fast. Here your body was betraying you once more, this time going absolutely haywire and melting like a stupid pile of putty at the fact that you were being body pressed against some mat with some guy's hard junk pressed into your leg.
You couldn't bear to even look him in the eye anymore, your head tilting to the side, pressing your cheek into the mat, and squeezing your eyes closed, not suddenly envying the spidermen with teleportation powers. "Fucking Christ, can you get off now?"
A beat of silence hovered between the small distance between you two, neither moving nor talking. It was starting to become unbearable how tightly Miguel had folded your legs against him, in the sense that you could already feel his body heat radiating. The close proximity did not help with how unbearably your heart was beating against your chest. "How do you manage after all of that to still have that shameless fucking attitude?"
You stilled at how his voice had managed to cut through your own thick cloud of betraying thoughts as well as the ringing in your eardrums. "Shameless? As if you don't have your dick pressed against me right now."
"By the sounds of it, you don't seem that bothered at all." Miguel taunted, You thought you were bound to die of embarrassment.
Yeah, this is how you went out—by dying from the sheer effect of your own extremely horny though—not some overpowered supervillain with a vendetta against you but Miguel O'Hara and his dick print.
You could already hear the new taunts that he would use against you, "Not even in your fucking dreams." being the only comeback that you could muster, your limbs tingling with slight pins and needles, threatening to go stiff under his unbound grasp. 
"Oh, like you wouldn't love to," he sneered, shifting the weight from his hips flat against your thighs. "Probably thinking about me taking off these tight fucking shorts and having my way with you?" Your body reacted first to the accusation, cursing under your breath as you felt your second heartbeat flutter in between your legs.
His lingering stare hadn't helped one bit, and you watched from the sidelines as his eyes raked over your body with interest.
"I bet this was your plan the entire fucking time, huh?" He asked, leaning in as the distance dwindled until you could feel the brush of his breath against your face. "Put on some sweet naive act in front of everyone, knowing that you're getting yourself off on me throwing you around, touching yourself like some bitch in heat."
You hadn't bothered covering the whine that parted from your lips at the feeling of his erection slowly rutting against your thigh, the cocky smirk on his lips wanting you to melt away against the mat.
Miguel practically growled at the pathetic sounds that parted from your lips, tugging your legs apart to rut his hips down against your core. You shivered at the intrusion of his bulge pressed against your eagerness, the foreign feeling of him grinding against you left your thoughts in a dizzy fog.
"What? Can’t fucking speak now," he said as if he were dangling your most prized possession in front of your face, his fingers creeping into dangerous territory, making it a point for his fingertips to drag down your lower torso only to halt right above the elastic waistband of your shorts. "Go on, use your words."
"...fuck you."
The small amount of distance made the space between you two fall tensely thick, and the words spoken from your lips were different from the feelings that made your heart thud against your ribs. You weren't stupid, you knew Miguel could sense it, he could sense just about everything about your body from how close he kneeled on top of you.
Maybe that was why he had closed the distance so quickly after, letting the tight grip around your wrists give way to his hand finding a new objective, wrapping his fingers around your neck, not bothering to be gentle as he guided your lips towards his. The kiss was as rough as you had dreamed it to be. Eager for each other's kiss, you couldn't even process the noise that vibrated sharply from your throat before Miguel could pull away first, leaving you panting for more of his touch.
"First time I've ever seen you so quiet," his deep taunts were starting to grow unbearable, shifting your hips at the brush of his fangs against the jugular of your neck with every word, "who knew all you needed was some dick?" The harsh kisses he left trailing down to your collarbone made you feel like a hot, needy mess of putty. If it weren't for the tight grasp he had on your body, you were convinced that you would feel like you'd melt into some type of puddle. The growing frustration had only started to build up more as Miguel let go of your thighs, his hand trailing between your legs ruthlessly as the bud of his fingers rubbed against your clothed pussy. 
As for why you shifted your hips up and let him impatiently tug and yank at the bow knotted around the waist of your shorts, breaking away from the red splotching light bruises already forming against your brown skin and wiggling you out of your shorts, Miguel thought it was quite the image, his eyes were fixated on the drooling sight of you under him, so vulnerable with your thighs hugging to your chest, spread open, revealing yourself in your pants.
All sanity was thrown out the window the moment he tugged you closer by your knees, your lower half lifted in his arms just enough for him to sit face to face with your cunt. His eyes darkened, his pupils blown as his tongue lapped over his lips, leaving you feeling restless. It was a slow and almost painful battle of trying to reach down and shove his face closer or buck your hips as his fingers sheathed and explored themselves against the fabric of your underwear.
As if Miguel could read your mind, his fingers hooked the fabric under the bend of his finger, followed by a quick tearing sound. "I’ll get you new ones," the comfort emitting a whine from your throat as you couldn't even scowl at him for ruining your underwear because you were too busy admiring the work his fingers were doing. Without warning, Miguel leans in closer, the warmth of his mouth almost sending you into a frenzy as his fingers spread open your lips, his lips sucking at your clitoral area, prompting you to let out a very lewd moan.
"Too loud," Miguel mumbled against your pussy, too busy webbed up in your own pleasure to even notice how every embarrassedly sloppy wet noise had seemed to perfectly echo throughout the empty room. You couldn't even explain the number of emotions that were flowing through you, from shame from being tongue fucked and fingered against the floor about the one man you hated so much to bashfulness from holding eye contact with him as he lay between your legs and ate your pussy like he was starving for you.
"I can't help it," you whined, shivering at the string of spit that contacted Miguel as he lifted his head in an idea. It took a second to process Miguel picking you up and turning you on your stomach, his hands guiding your hips up and stripping your torn panties down your legs to stuff them in your mouth.
Without a word, Miguel grabbed your ass with another hand, guiding your lower back into an arch as the other made small indents from his nail bearing into your cheeks as he spread them apart.
Before you could even feel embarrassed at the new position, he shoved his face between them, your moan being muffled by your makeshift cloth gag that worked a bit too well in lowering your whines as Miguel’s mouth sought his tongue out for your pussy once more.
"You're close I can smell it," you almost missed Miguel's groan over your building ecstasy, "just let it go, baby, let me take care of you. That's what you want, right?" His voice is drastically different from his usual rough, rude tone, softened to something of a coo that has managed to unknot your pleasure with his tongue. Your body tensed against his mouth for a moment as he had the nerve to suck his fingers clean. No grace period was given before he could lift you once more with a grunt, laying you flat on your back.
Slotting himself back between his legs, Miguel chuckled at the dazed look on your face. "It's alright, baby, I can take it from here." taking the balled up drool covered panties from your mouth and instead replaced them with his lips. The sensual change of pace wasn't enough to stop the shiver that rid your nerves of the feeling of his bare cock rutting against your slit, using his thumb to spread your lips apart to sink his tip inside of you with a low hiss against your mouth.
A gasp left yours as his girthy length intruded deeper inside of you, the burying stretch of his dick having your nails roughly grasping at the nape neck of his hair tugging a handful as his pace hadn't bothered to even get familiar already. Miguel’s hips weren't letting out as he fucked you almost animalistic against the floor. You were convinced he was trying to fuck you into the mat, to be one with the floor, which would perfectly explain the rough pace that left you breathless with each piston of his hips. 
The graphically lewd sounds of your weak groans were nothing compared to the pornographic sound of your skin meeting his, your brain empty with nothing but greed, wanting to take everything and more of what Miguel was giving you. His fingers reach to unwrap your fingers tangled in his hair to intertwine them in his. "That's it, mama, that's it," he whispers against the shell of your ear, earning a whimpering reply from you, almost close to spilling the tears clouding your waterline.
Your mind couldn't process anything other than how good Miguel’s dick felt being shoved inside of you, his cock dragging against your tight, flustering walls with each shaky breath brushed against your ear. Your cunt seemed to react to Miguel’s lashes tickling against your neck as his eyes screwed tightly shut, muttering a string of compliments in his mother tongue.
You weren't lucky enough to be more stable, surprised that your throat hasn't gone horse with how ruined your vocal cords sounded in the pace of his pistoning hips. Only going up an octave higher as one of Miguel’s hands reaches down to pay attention to your clit, he doesn't stop even when your limbs start to tremble from your climax. 
With one last hard thrust, he finally stills, your name being the only thing you could make out through his mumbling as his unfamiliar warm sensation welcomed itself inside of you. 
Groaning right in your ear, he cums inside of you with his entire dead weight pressed against you, caging you against the floor. "Alright," Miguel sighs, settling on top of you once more with his arms holding himself just a few inches away from your face. "Again."
Tumblr media
🔖 @adonis-is-dead-lmaoo @thesebitcheslovesosadotcom @inumakiiz @iheartlinds @creamyarishi @marzipaanz
tap here to be added to taglist.
4K notes · View notes
covenists · 1 year ago
Text
✦ GODDESS, O. PIASTRI
when they said girlfriend effects is real, now take a look at oscar and his significant change on his aesthetic and self.
₊˚⊹౨ৎ ⋆。✦˚‎
yourusername
Tumblr media Tumblr media
liked by blakelively, bellahadid, francesca.cgomes and 619,724 others
yourusername i'm here for you wmagazine
view all 43,197 comments...
naileadevora you are so gorgeous i don't understand
username is she the rumored wag?
⤷ username girl she IS the wag.
ellefanning that magazine is from the waiting room, i believe...🤔
⤷ yourusername indeed it is😄
username she is so magnificent damnnn
username this is so blair waldorf coded
username mommy sorry? mommy? sorry, mommy?
bellahadid pretty pretty angel 👼🏻
username who is she rumored with tho?
landonorris 📷
username i thought y/n is oscar's wag??
⤷ username she is
⤷ username so why's lando commenting and not him
⤷ landonorris phone limit is real in here
oscarpiastri
Tumblr media Tumblr media
liked by yourusername, lando.jpg, and 380,139 others
oscarpiastri 🍂🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿
view all 31,702 comments...
username oscar why are you switching your aesthetic to this what happened?
username since when did he becoming so aesthetic
username girlfriend effect is real y'all
username AESTHETIC OSCAR😍😍
yourusername what happened to your usual orange related posts?
⤷ oscarpiastri washed it up
⤷ username wdym washed it up?
username he is so gorgeous (i just see his lower body)
username he does this on purpose
landonorris yo yourusername look at your boyfriend
⤷ yourusername i am looking respectfully 👁️👁️
⤷ username i believe that is respectful enough
username but imagine oscar being like this everytime like oh shiii
username bro is changing his aesthetic overnight is crazy
username i mean if your gf is y/n i'll be doing that too
liked by oscarpiastri
username OSCAR WITHOUT ORANGE???😱🫵🏻‼️🗣️
yourusername
Tumblr media Tumblr media
liked by prada, gigihadid, oscarpiastri, and 790,631 others
yourusername how's your sunday going?
👤: prada
view all 20,197 comments...
oscarpiastri going perfect with my beautiful lover
⤷ yourusername wonder who she is
landonorris enough flirting in the comments section guys
username i understand oscar i understand
username that prada sunny is looking real good omg i want itttt
carmenmmundt so beautiful 😘
username ok now paddock visit when?
username i'm excited to see her on the paddock with the wags
⤷ yourusername i mean... 🤷🏽‍♀️ oscarpiastri
⤷ oscarpiastri 🫣
username don't be like that oscar i know you want it too
username deep down he wants it too
⤷ username ikr 😌
yourusername
Tumblr media
liked by balenciaga, badbunny, oscarpiastri, and 612,804 others
yourusername tell them daddy's home
view all 21,709 comments...
username the way i choked on my coffee
username with just this i am feral like oscar pls pick up your gf
username he wasn't wrong when he said i'm in love with her bcs so do i
username ASJSKWSMSNSAK@!#$&+)#(_38
oscarpiastri my pretty pretty angel
oscarpiastri my angel, my goddess
oscarpiastri you are truly a blessing from god to me
⤷ yourusername oh pleeeeeeaasseeee
⤷ username i bet she's blushing when she typed that
username why is she naked
⤷ username it ain't naked, it's fashion
⤷ username as long as she showed her boobs out i think it's naked
⤷ username and as long as i see you here i think it's useless
username AWWWW PLS I'M SINGLE LET ME CRY IN PEACE
⤷ username username cry with me then😭
username DADDY'S HOOOOMEEEEEE
username slaying the office look down
username balenciaga really said: say no more we're gonna making you a daddy
⤷ username if she's daddy, oscar's the mommy then
⤷ danielricciardo i love what we're talking about here
⤷ username danielricciardo WHY R U HERE😭😭
yourusername and lailahasanovic
Tumblr media Tumblr media
liked by lailahasanovic, mickschumacher, oscarpiastri, and 824,681 others
yourusername girl dinner?
👤: lailahasanovic, sandyliang
view all 22,120 comments...
lailahasanovic girl dinner indeed
username WHAT THEY'RE TOGETHER NOW
username i used to pray for situation like this
lailahasanovic so much fun with youuu😚🩷
⤷ yourusername u too my babyyy<33
username literally blair and serena irl
⤷ yourusername xoxo😚💋
sandyliang two of a very beautiful friendship
username girl dinner indeed🍽️😋
username you can see the efforts of her taking a perfect picture for the earrings
username we love a full efforts queen
mickschumacher 😘🥰
username mick 🤝 oscar = their gf biggest supporter
username i never thought of this crossover to even happen
username i mean the both wags are model, but i am waiting for her to join rebbeca or smth idk
oscarpiastri 😍🥴
⤷ landonorris i can see him smiling while replying this. he is too lovesick with you please pick him up
⤷ charles_leclerc i see him too
⤷ danielricciardo i have his picture
⤷ oscarpiastri why are you always doing that
₊˚⊹౨ৎ ⋆。✦˚‎
Tumblr media Tumblr media
₊˚⊹౨ৎ ⋆。✦˚‎
yourusername added to their story!
Tumblr media Tumblr media
caption: here we go, rocking it again
oscarpiastri added to their story!
Tumblr media
₊˚⊹౨ৎ ⋆。✦˚‎
yourusername
Tumblr media
liked by oscarpiastri, francesca.cgomes, scuderiaferrari and 420,765 others
yourusername so scarlet it was maroon 🍷
view all 11,862 comments...
mclaren no y/n this is not you💔💔...
username ferrari's liking...
username she showed up, posting after the show and looking red not orange what is this all about actually
username omg i have a crazy idea here
carlossainz55 i swear we did not tell her anything
username she rocking every color and i am so jealous of it
oscarpiastri my beautiful girl
oscarpiastri 🍷😍
username what happened to her hair?
⤷ yourusername i trimmed it just a bit
⤷ username BUT SHE LOOKS COOL ANYWAY😭😭
username i know she listens to taylor bcs who didn't
⤷ username ...probably oscar
⤷ username she'll make him a swiftie in no time
username she looks stunning in red, wonder what she'll looks like in orange
username orange dresses are quite hard to get tho
⤷ username i know, but because of that rareness, orange is quite luxurious too
⤷ username it's papaya tho, not orange
⤷ username as long as it looks orange, i called it orange
f1wags
Tumblr media
liked by username, username, and 56,291 others
f1wags international model and oscar piastri's girlfriend, y/n l/n is finally coming to monaco grand prix after a long while not attending the gp. the model's shared a long awaited hug with her partner and also had her time to visit a monaco yacht show a moment before that. other than that, she looks very beautiful with an elegant combination of her fits when she attended the monaco yacht show.
photo credit: @/vivienecarolf1 on x.
view all 9,729 comments...
username even admin is a y/n fan
⤷ username everybody is a y/n fan, even if they're not, they are a y/n fan
username she looks so darn gorgeous
username as they always said, oscar is never wrong in choosing his partner bcs she is sooooooo glorious
username oscar's right she is a goddess
username i might be switching side
username rich girl energy
username she's got that carlos energy type of richness
username that prada sunglasses is everywhere
yourusername added to their story!
Tumblr media Tumblr media
caption: snooze💤
₊˚⊹౨ৎ ⋆。✦˚‎
yourusername
Tumblr media
liked by maxverstappen1, oscarpiastri, and 628,990 others
yourusername 🧚🏼‍♀️🧚🏼‍♀️🧚🏼‍♀️
view all 18,619 comments...
username she is so pretty
username literal fairy i agree
username my favorite y/n picture is out y'all
oscarpiastri 🥴
gigihadid pretty bb<3
anokyai 😚😚😚😚
barbarapalvin when are we going to do it together
⤷ yourusername chanel?
alexandrasaintmleux the prettiest 🥹❤️
⤷ yourusername no uuuu
username i need to know where is the top from
⤷ username oscarpiastri
⤷ username NOT THAT TOP💀💀💀
username the neck is inviting i know
username her pose is always the best
username i want to be her😮‍💨😮‍💨
oscarpiastri
Tumblr media Tumblr media
liked by yourusername, dollhousejeans, and 492,131 others
oscarpiastri saturday going great
👤: yourusername
view all 79 comments...
username her morning face>>>
username i love when she looks all shy like this, it's adorable
username y/n captured by oscar is top tier
⤷ danielricciardo oh??? so y/n captured by me is low tier?
⤷ jackdoohan don't get jealous here boomer
⤷ username "BOOMER"💀💀💀💀
username it's quite hard to adapt that this is oscar's ig
username y/n’s effect on him is so strong
username her shy face is sooo cutee
username in her super shy era
username mama
username wondering what their kids gonna look like
comments on this post has been limited
yourusername
Tumblr media Tumblr media
liked by jacobelordi, oscarpiastri, and 627,910 others
yourusername sunday going great
👤: oscarpiastri
view all 18,629 comments...
username my my, date night with oscar
username damn his handddddsssss
landonorris i love the matching post between these lovebirds
estebanocon i love your love life. fascinating.
⤷ landonorris same
⤷ username aren't we all though??????
oscarpiastri the best day of my life
⤷ yourusername wait for this night
⤷ username AWOOP⁉️‼️‼️🚨🚨
⤷ username IN THE HOTEL ROOM
⤷ username PUBLICLY???!?!?!!!🫣🫣🫣🫣
⤷ username thank god daniel's not here
⤷ danielricciardo i will have their pictures
⤷ oscarpiastri wait why are you always appearing at this type of moments though
⤷ landonorris and how did you have their pictures?
⤷ danielricciardo internal sources
oscarpiastri
Tumblr media Tumblr media
liked by yourusername, prada, and 738,102 others
oscarpiastri artwork
view all 5 comments...
username ARTWORK YOUR ASS IS THAT A HICKEY??????
username oh i mean daniel wasn't wrong
⤷ danielricciardo i was never wrong
yourusername 🫣
⤷ username EXPLAIN YOURSELF RN
comments on this post has been limited
2K notes · View notes
probablyreadinsmut · 7 days ago
Text
Tumblr media
The Mrs Clause.
Jackson Joel Miller X Afab!Reader
Named after the 2002 Tim Allen Christmas movie - The Santa Clause 2.
Summary: You and Joel are Patrol partners who have been dancing around your feelings for each other for the longest time. Tommy has had enough of it and decides to intervene, setting Joel and you up as Santa and Mrs Claus.
Warnings/Tags: No smut in this part, but there will be in part two. One use of the word 'cock'. Just a lot of awkwardness from both parties (they're both dumb for each other okay?). Tooth rotting fluff in parts. Tommy being a meddling matchmaking menace, Maria enabling him like the good wife she is. Language (Swearing). Mention of pet loss. Nicknames. Tension. Implied legal age gap (nothing more 25-35 years ish, Joel would be about 57 in this). Reader has breasts and a vagina. Reader wears a skirt and heels but it's part of your costume. No mention of height, weight, skin colour or specific age. Images used in the banner above are just for aesthetic purposes, you are the main character in this fic. If I missed anything let me know!
Divider credit: @strangergraphics thank you for these adorable Christmas dividers! Merry Christmas to you! ❤️🎄
Banner made by me on canva which is why it's a little janky but we move (pls don't zoom in on it lmao)
Tumblr media
Joel
It's Christmas time in Jackson! The town Square was beautifully decorated with twinkling fairy lights and leafy garlands with holly and pinecones weaved into them, wrapped around the street lamps. The freshly cut pine tree stood proudly in the centre of it all with more lights carefully spiralling around it and a bright star on top.
While Joel is making his way to his therapy appointment that day, he notices a crowd gathering around the town notice board, everyone is abuzz with excitement about something and his curiosity piques.
Making his way to the back of the small crowd that's formed in a horseshoe around it, he sees Tommy and Maria, with little TJ on her hip, pinning something to the board.
It's when Tommy finishes up and turns around that Joel locks eyes with him. The slow shit eating grin that spreads across his face sends alarm bells ringing in Joel's head.
As Tommy steps out the way for the residents at the front to take a look at the new announcements, the snickers and stares start. People turning and whispering, looking directly at him. Joel's cheeks heat up and his brow furrows into a deep scowl as he muscles his way through the crowd heading straight for his dumbass baby brother.
"What did you do?*The tone is accusatory right off the bat, Joel ain't messing around.
"Well take a look big brother, we're just tryin' to spread a lil holiday cheer around here and I was jus' thinkin', what grizzly old man could I get to be our Santa this year? And then it hit me"
"You didn't."
Joel could punch that grin right off his brother's face right now, as he steps aside and reveals the post pinned to the board. "Oh. I most certainly did."
There in a swirly red and green font, it reads:
🎄 Come and meet Santa Claus! Jacksons 3rd annual Christmas grotto: 12pm - 5pm December 21st. Fun for all ages! 🎄
And then there's a list underneath, containing the names of residents he and Maria have roped into helping.
Santa's Elves. Ellies name amongst them. Tommy must have a deathwish.
The names of the stabled horses next to 'Reindeer'
And then he sees it. His name.
Joel Miller as Santa Claus!
It had to be some kind of joke. Tommy's sick way of getting back at Joel for making him dress up as the easter bunny for Sarah all those years ago.
He rears back in horror, looking at Tommy like he'd just kicked a damn puppy in front of him. "Absolutely fucking not, Tommy! You must be insane to think I'm gonna do this!"
"Oh c'mon it'll be fun! TJ would love to see his Uncle Joel as Santa, wouldn't you, little guy?" Tommy smirks, keeping direct eye contact with Joel as he tickles the baby under his chin.
Maria then chimes in, shifting the giggling little boy in her arms. "Joel I know it's not your idea of fun-"
"Not my idea of fun!? That's a damn understatement if I've ever heard one!"
She holds her free hand up in a placating gesture. "Alright I hear you, perhaps Tommy should have asked first" She glances at Tommy, who's got a faux innocent 'who me?' look on his face now "But, the kids love it and usually we'd ask Richard to do it but he broke his leg a few weeks back out on patrol, so he can't do it this year. We'll make it worth your while, won't we Tommy?" She elbow nudges him in his ribs.
"Oh yeah! I've got a 40 year aged bottle of whiskey with your name on it, unopened. Sound interestin'?"
Tempting. Very tempting. But no, there was no chance he was gonna do all this just for a bottle of whiskey, no matter how good it sounded. "You're gonna have to do better than that, I'm talkin' new gun or knife kinda interestin"
"I knew you'd say that, big brother, which is why..."
Tommy jabs his pointer finger further down the announcement board, showing Joel exactly what else he has to offer to sweeten the deal further.
And there in the same green and red swirly writing. Mrs Claus with your name beside it.
A beat passes and Joel's permanent frown slowly forms into something of a half grin.
The two of you had been patrol partners for months and anyone with eyes could see how hard you were crushing on each other, both of you too chickenshit to make the first move, so here's Tommy and Maria, giving Joel the best early Christmas present he could ask for.
"I'm in."
Tumblr media
You
Two days. You had been working tirelessly for two days on your Mrs.Claus costume, trading with the towns sewing circle for any scraps of red velvet you could get your hands on, fashioning the white fluffy edging out of an old blanket. It was far from perfect, it was rushed but there was no way you were going to pass up on this opportunity.
"Alright I'm coming out, no peeking, promise you won't look until I say so?" You call out to Maria, just finishing getting your outfit on in their living room as she waits for you in the kitchen, feeding TJ his lunch at the dining table.
"Cross my heart! Now c'mon show me what you've got, Mrs.Claus!" Maria chuckles and covers her eyes with her hand, giving you the all clear before you step into the kitchen.
It's a two piece outfit, the long sleeve top flaring out at your waist with a slight v-nexk, nothing too risque, the grotto is considered a family event after all. Then there's the skirt, just above knee length, hugging your hips and thighs in all the right places. Paired with a pair of red short strappy heels that you'd managed to borrow from one of the more fashionable Jackson residents, in exchange for some personal supplies for her. For a rush job, you were damn proud of yourself.
"Okay... You can look now!" You exclaim, straightening out an invisible crease on your top.
Maria drops her hand to look, her jaw follows quickly after. "Oh my god! Well hellooo Mrs. Claus!" She wolf whistles playfully. "Santa isn't gonna know what's hit him."
You feel heat creeping up the back of your neck at that particular thought. How Joel would react when he sees you. "Y-yeah? It's not too much is it? I mean I'm not trying to go for sexy, but I'm not not trying if you know what I mean?"
"No it's perfect! Look at Mrs. Claus, TJ doesn't she look beautiful?" Maria attempts to guide the youngest Millers gaze to you but he's too busy chomping down the banana pancakes she'd whipped up for him.
"Ah well... Speaking from experience, the older Miller men are much more attentive. And appreciative." Maria remarks coyly, lips curving into a sly smirk.
The two of you devolve into fits of giggles, not even hearing Tommy arriving home until he enters the kitchen "Ho-ho-holy shit!" Maria says his name in a scolding tone for cursing in front of the baby, he flashes her a guilty grin before continuing "Look at you darlin'! Joel, come take a look at Mrs. Claus!"
Joel. Joel's here with him.
Before you even have a chance to protest, Joel's stepping into the kitchen behind Tommy and right there and then is when you're pretty sure your heart stops.
Jaw slightly slack, brown eyes now near-black as his eyes drag up your body, lingering for a moment too long on your hips and breasts before landing in your face, noting the nervous gnaw of your lip. He clears his throat, forcing himself to act casual, ignoring the twitch of his cock in his jeans. "Y-yeah you... Wow. I mean... Wow.."
Flustered. Joel Miller is flustered. The usually stoic and self controlled aging scavenger is now a bumbling mess, even if he's trying his hardest not to show it.
A knowing look passes between Tommy and Maria, like the irritating old married couple they are, sharing small grins that mirror one another.
"Thanks... I um.. Can't wait to see your costume too!"
Tommy claps Joel on the shoulder with a loud bark of laughter. "Oh I sure am lookin' forward to that too! I think we all are, managed to find a mall Santa outfit a few years back, got the beard and everythin'. Usually it's a little big on Richard but I think Joel here won't have any trouble fillin' it out" He teases, prodding at Joel's soft tummy, earning him a brotherly punch to the arm.
"Do you ever shut the fuck up?" Now it's Joel's turn to be scolded by Maria, giving her the very same guilty smile as Tommy had done previously. The Miller genetics are truly a marvel.
Tumblr media
It's the morning of the Christmas Grotto and your nerves are running at an all time high. Putting together the last of your costume, opting for a pair of black tights under your skirt instead of going bare legged what with the fresh snow that had settled in recent days.
Staring at yourself in the bedroom mirror, you had to admit to yourself that you looked hot and with the appraising look you'd received from Joel yesterday fresh in your mind, a big part of you was actually looking forward to today, even if you'd originally been less than thrilled at being put down for the role without being asked. The moment Maria had told you Joel was going to be santa, it had sealed the deal for you. You'd be the best damn Mrs. Claus this town has ever seen.
A little while later, it's go time. You're walking into the mess hall, the tables have been pushed aside to make room for the crowd that will be shuffling in and out. There are townsfolk dotted around dressed as elves and the horses are hitched just outside in a make shift petting zoo with makeshift Reindeer antlers on their heads. That was a cute touch. You're sure they're going to love being fussed over and fed carrots all day long.
At the far end, is the 'Grotto' which is actually just a red back drop hung up on the wall, a chair that's been decorated to look like Santa's throne, a bowl full of homemade candy canes beside it and a Christmas tree with gifts surrounding it. It's nothing special, but at the same time it's perfect No sign of Joel though, yet.
"Well don't you look pretty!" A semi sarcastic voice sounds from your left, Ellie, dressed as an elf, chewing on a candy cane.
You cover your mouth with the back of your hand to stifle the laugh. She looks ridiculous and you can tell she's not happy about being asked to do this.
"Oh my god. Don't tell me Tommy roped you into this too?!"
"Sure did." She grumbles. "But he said Dina would be doing it to so..."
Looks like you're not the only one going along with it because your crush is involved. You give her a knowing smile, glancing around the mess hall. "Is um... Is Joel coming any time soon? People will be lining up in the next twenty minutes or so."
She grins as she takes another bite of candy cane "Oh yeah he's coming alright. Why Tommy thought he was a good fit for jolly old St. Nick, I'll never know! Least he's got the old part down." She trails off as she gets distracted by something over your shoulder, you turn to see Dina walking in, wearing an equally ridiculous elf costume. "Uhhhh gotta run! Good luck today!" Ellie smirks as she darts by you heading straight for her. Subtle.
Soon enough, the line starts to form and Joel is still nowhere to be seen, you're standing beside the throne, shifting from foot to foot, feeling a little anxious that he might not show up now.
And then you hear it.
"Ho Ho Ho! Merry Christmas!" it's not exactly enthusiastic and Santa has a texan twang but there he is walking in, greeting the townsfolk and children. With the classic costume on, a fake white curly beard with his pink plush lips poking out, the hat tilted jauntily atop his head and a sack over his shoulder.
Why the hell are you attracted to this?
Do you have to add 'Santa kink' to the ever extensive list of kinks you have? Oh god, let's not go there right now.
The faces of the kids in line light up though and seeing the way Joel smiles back under the beard, warms your heart. He's a softie deep down.
"There you are, cutting it fine aren't you Santa?" you murmur to him when he sits down, setting the sack next to him. The way he immediately manspreads and looks good doing it even dressed like this, should be criminal.
Then he gives you an assessing stare, just like yesterday, unable to help himself from subtly checking you out. Subtle to anyone else who might be looking, but to you? You felt like time slowed down right then and there, noting the way his tongue darted out to wet his lips. The next five hours were either going to be pure torture or sheer agony. You truly couldn't decide which one.
"Sorry Mrs. Clause. Was doin'a little last minute gift wrappin'" You're about to open your mouth to tell him that maybe he should have a better sense of timekeeping but it's then that Ellie pipes up, cupping her hands either side of her mouth to make her voice louder. "Alright folks, who's ready to meet Santa?"
Tumblr media
The next 5 hours were a blur, it was a constant stream of people coming to meet Santa but it was probably the most fun you've had in a long time. Tommy and Maria had set up a few games in the mess hall to make it a real event for the kids of Jackson and he'd procured some disposable cameras to take mementos of the day.
You could have killed that man when he did this though:
"Hey Mr & Mrs Claus! Lemme get a picture of the two of you!"
You'd sighed but you'd take any opportunity to be closer to Joel honestly. You moved closer to the throne, posing beside it with a beaming smile. Apparently that wasn't good enough for Tommy.
"Nooooo get closer c'mon, you're supposed to be a married couple"
"Yeah and also non existent" Joel mutters under his breath so none of the kids hear him, elliciting a giggle from you.
"Hm, what was that Santa?"
"Nothin'!"
You perch on the arm of the throne instead to appease him. "This any better?"
"Nooooo no no! Get closer!"
"How am I s'posed to get any-- oh!"
You squeek as Joel pulls you into his lap, sitting you side ways on one of his thighs.
"This okay Darlin'?" He whispers in a drawl. It's both sweet that he's checking that it's not pushing your boundaries too far but also sexy as hell. You reply with a slow nod
It's your turn to be flustered now, feeling your body temperature rising a little, along with your racing heart. You're having an internal meltdown about being in his lap.
"Earth to Mrs. Claus! Hellooooo!" It's Tommy's voice that snaps you out of it, blinking rapidly as you look up at the camera.
"S-sorry! Yes okay, I'm ready." You cross your legs and lean back into Joel just a tad, feeling his hand slipping around your waist to hold you steady, his thumb gently rubbing back and forth over the velvet there. You wonder if he even knows he's doing it."Take the damn picture Tommy!"
"Alright hold your horses!" Every second in Joel's lap feels like a year. So close, close enough that his intoxicating scent floods your senses, peppermint from the candy canes, coffee and... Sawdust? You think? Would make sense considering his woodworking, you suppose. It's too much, but at the same time it's not enough.
"Alright Mr & Mrs. 3.. 2.. 1.. Say jingle bells!"
You both repeat it, smiling ear to ear as the flash momentarily blinds you.
Tumblr media
Before you know it, it's nearly time to call it a day. You were thankful for the small heaters that had been placed nearby, it had started snowing heavily outside now and with the way the mess hall was pretty open, made it chilly. It was bearable though.
Joel had been so sweet with the kids today, it was a side of him you hadn't seen before. A stark contrast to the man you went on patrols with. You knew he was good with kids. Older kids though, like Ellie, but seeing him with the younger kids? Christ. Your ovaries damn near exploded.
Right now he has the last kid on his lap, a little girl with big brown eyes and tight curls. She's possibly the sweetest little thing you've ever seen.
"Alright sweetpea what's your name?"
"Sarah." She answers shyly.
It's then that you notice the way his shoulders tense slightly and the way his eyes get a little glossy. What's that about?
"S-Sarah? Well... Ain't that a pretty name for an equally pretty girl." The momentary hiccup seems to have passed and he's back to being sweet again. "How old are you darlin'?" She screws up her little face as she looks at her fingers trying to figure out how many to hold up before she holds up four of them, looking at who you assume is her mother for confirmation, she just chuckles and nods.
"Four? Well ain't that nice. Now tell me sweetpea, what do you want for Christmas?" So gentle, he's so gentle with the little kids, you really didn't know that there was this side of him hiding in there.
"A dinosaur!" She's come out of her shell a little now, excitedly mimicking a dinosaurs roar, to which Joel roars back and chuckles, this rich deep sound. So fucking cute.
"A dinosaur? Well little missy I'm not sure 'bout gettin' you a real one, I'm sure your momma wouldn't wanna clean up after one buuuuuut--" he reaches down into the nearly empty sack of presents and pulls out a small plushie T-Rex. "Here. Darlin' Merry Christmas."
She squeels with happiness and throws her little arms around his neck, catching him off guard for a moment. You can see the surprise in his wide eyes, but a genuine warm smile graces his lips. "Thank you Santa!" She pulls back, gently taking the plushie from him, holding it up proudly for her mom to see.
"Well you're welcome, sweetpea. G'on now, go show your momma and have a Merry Christmas... Sarah." The way he says her name, almost wistful, he watches her clamber off his lap, running to her mom to show her the gift she got, there's this longing look that you don't recognise in him.
"Joel?" You ask, gently placing your hand on his shoulder.
His head snaps in your direction, immediately changing his demeanor to a happier one, whether it's forced or not, you don't know. "God, sorry Darlin'! I was miles away."
"You okay?"
"Hm? Oh yeah, course I am! Just... Been a long day is all. You okay? It's getting cold in here."
You smile at the way he's concerned about you, shaking your head softly. "I'm fine, not really feeling it"
"Now why don't I believe that?" He does a little smirk under the beard as his eyes rake over you quickly, it making your heart do a little flip. "Here." Before you can protest, he's taking off his red jacket, handing it to you as he's left in a fitting white tshirt underneath, suspenders holding up the pants. The little roundness of his tummy is something else. You were never a fan of overly muscular guys, you'd seen the magazines from before. Jacked up men with washboard abs just wasn't your thing. This though? The dad bod he was rocking was absolutely your thing.
"T-thank you." the waiver in your voice does nothing to hide how much he's effected you. It's not fair. You put the jacket on around your shoulders and it feels as though you've been enveloped by his scent. It's dizzying and addictive.
Tumblr media
By 6pm, all the helpers had the mess hall cleared and back to how it was before, the tables back in place and the shutters down to stave off the snow storm that was picking up outside.
You'd stayed behind to help Maria dismantle the 'Grotto' while TJ slept in his stroller, Joel was still here, Santa hat and beard now gone, much to your slight disappointment. He was busy talking to Tommy, they seemed to be sharing a moment. Tommy's hand is on his shoulder, gently squeezing it with a sympathetic look on his face, you can't make out what they're saying but whatever it is seems deep.
Maria notices you looking, smiling to herself before she speaks. "So... You gonna finally make a move or what?"
With wide eyes you turn your attention to her. "Maybe keep your voice down?"
She chuckles lightly "Oh honey they can't hear us from all the way over there. C'mon... What's stopping you? He likes you. You like him. Just go for it."
"Okay but what if things don't work out? Jackson isn't that big y'know? Imagine bumping into your ex every day. Awkward."
"Don't have to imagine. Before Tommy got here I dated one of the guys on patrol and sure it was awkward at first but we're all adults, I moved on and married Tommy and he's moved on too. It's not a big deal. You know what I think though?"
"No but I'm sure you're about to tell me" You huff in amusement through your nose, putting away the last of the props into a box.
"Damn right I am. I think you're afraid and making excuses. Just like he is. You're focusing on the negatives like 'what if it ends badly' instead of 'what if it never ends?' and that is what you should be thinking about. Seriously. You'll regret it if you don't at least try."
Tumblr media
"See you back at the house Joel!" Ellie calls out to him as she leaves with Dina. Tommy and Maria had left a short while ago when TJ started getting fussy. So now, under the twinkling lights above you, you're left alone together with Maria's words swimming around in your head.
'What if it never ends?' she'd said it so simply, like you'd get your fairytale ending. Of course she hadn't meant it like that. Not in this world, not in this life. But, if it meant you could have just a fraction of a fairytale ending? Maybe she was right about making the leap.
So as you wring your hands nervously, your feet are moving you towards him of their own accord. He's crouched down rifling through the present sack, just in the exit doorway. You stop just behind him.
"Joel? You got a minute before you leave?"
"Oh! Yeah actually, I um..." He pulls something out of the sack, putting it behind his back as he rises to his feet, knees creaking as he does so. "I wanted to talk to you to... I uh..." His brow is covered in a thin sheen of sweat. He's nervous too. "I... Got you somethin... It's not much but..."
And then he pulls out a small gift wrapped box from behind his back, tied up with a red bow and everything. Your eyes soften when you take it from him, fingertips brushing against his accidentally.
"Joel... You didn't have to get me anything... I... I didn't get you anything. I feel bad now!"
"Pfft. Don't be silly darlin'. I did this cause I wanted to, not because I felt like I had to. C'mon open it." He gives you that lopsided grin that makes him even more handsome somehow, rocking back on his heels absentmindedly.
You oblige, carefully unwrapping the bow, tearing away the paper, all the while you feel his eyes on you watching and waiting. When you lift the lid off the box, you let out a small surprised chuckle. Gently lifting the gift out to admire it.
A small carved and painted chocolate labrador dog. Just like your childhood pet. You remembered telling him about her on one of your patrols, Lana was her name. You'd lost her in the initial days of the outbreak and thought about her often. It had been months since you'd told him about her and he'd remembered. Even going as far as carving her name onto the base. You feel your eyes misting over as you take it in, it's possibly the best gift you've ever received.
"Joel I-- it's... It's beautiful. You... You made this for me?"
His shoulders relax a little as he sees the way your expression shifts, he was worried he'd upset you. It was a risk because all he wanted was to make you happy.
"Yeah I did... That's um... That's actually why I was almost late today. Was putting the finishing touches to it, wanted it to be perfect. Y'know... Like you are."
"L-like I am?" You gaze lifts from the carving in your hand to meet his own. Staring back at you with those soft brown eyes that you just want to get lost in.
As he takes a small step forward, encroaching into your personal space, it feels like the room just became too small. More intimate than it was before. Nothing has changed and everything has changed. "Yes. Like you darlin'. You... You're..." He reaches up, softly brushing his thumb over your cheekbone, making your breath catch in your throat. "You're perfection"
That's when you see it, above the two of you in the doorway. Mistletoe. You'd wondered how you'd missed that. It was like it had just appeared out of thin air, but more than likely it was a part of Tommy's meddling because it definitely wasn't there before.
He follows your gaze upwards, a slow smile spreading across his lips. "Well would ya look at that."
You can't help the small chuckle of disbelief that leaves you. "Yeah would you look at that. You planning on doing anything about it, Miller?"
Now his gaze his dropped back to you, drawing your face in closer to his. His voice dropping to a low whisper. "Don't have to tell me twice, darlin'"
The moment your lips touch his, you feel like you're floating on air. It's reverent and slow, tilting his head with yours as he savours the taste of your lips. His big hand engulfing your cheek, thumb stroking over it with a tenderness that you hadn't initially expected from him.
You blindly set the carving down on the ledge beside you so you can wrap your arms around his neck as his free hand slides downwards to your lower back, holding you against him as the kiss deepens and evolves into something more desperate.
It's all consuming. Everything you could have hoped for. He's everything you hoped for.
There under the mistletoe and twinkling lights. Santa and Mrs Claus. Sharing their first kiss.
Tumblr media
Part two coming soon!
Tagging my moots, happy holidays my lovelies:
@drewharrisonwriter @baronessvonglitter @joelmillerisapunk @mysterious-moonstruck-musings @bitchwitch1981 @kirsteng42 @morallyinept @cheekychaos28 @itwasntimethatdidit40 @almostempty
Special mention to @lovely-vamp-princess added a part about Joel's tummy in there just for you ;D
If you'd rather not be tagged lmk and a big thank you if you do read 💜
159 notes · View notes
dontbesoweirdkira · 2 months ago
Note
AH DO I LOVE YOU RANTING
about the weaponized incompetence batsis, thing is what you said is true about them not really that insistent to force reader to the vigilante route because she DOES have a valid reason. Barbara? On a wheelchair. Jason? Tortured, dead, replaced, revived. Steph and Cass? Dead and revived. Happened too many times already to kids under Batman. If anything it's called self-preservation.
I think that honestly the being peeved and possible jealousy is also true. If reader were to be skilled than most YET refuses to join? Boy. Jealousy of her skills, peeved at her indifference.
I can see potential routes to this.
A) Reader still weaponizing her incompetence, while the Batfam has mixed feelings of jealousy, peeved, disappointment yet can't bring themselves to force her because she is right! Girly just wants to remain alive.
B) If reader is petty as fuck, going foul aka bringing up the deaths and failures of her siblings during an argument with batfam, telling him that he got blood on his hands.
C) Somehow ending up as a vigilante but again, a petty as fuck one. REFUSES to be associated with the batfam, even having a really different aesthetic and working separately. Either kill like Jason OR do everything bad minus killing to the enemy to spite Batman.
D) If she has an assassin mama, goes back to her mother's side of the family because she ain't dealing with Bruce.
Hello again! I'm happy you enjoyed the last post :)))
For an interesting plot, if you were to write it, i'd say go with the kids being upset/jealous with the reader thus thrusting her into the line of fights with them. They want her to be side by side with them. Patrol is not always about crime fighting because some nights nothing happens. It's a bonding moment. They rooftop hop and act silly, they want you there with them. They feel like you don't want to be there with them...it's hurtful. They bug Bruce about it to get him to force you into it but he allows you to choose. They might be pissed because they didn't really get a choice. You're going to be here with your siblings.
Maybe they don't fully understand your worry because all of them will obviously protect you. Especially the older ones in the group. You'll be fine. You don't get to be miss perfect, Bad things happen and you don't get to escape that out of fear.
I personally would say C option. Perfect example of weaponized incompetence . Jason would be loving you so much. Ya'll would be amazing together and everyone else is like...maybe don't be so brutal?? they'd try to split you up and explain what you are doing wrong. Doesn't work obvi and you are back to being a menace with Jay.
Bruce would intervene and maybe threaten you with going back to your moms. Or maybe he'd force you to stay back like you wanted...Who knows.
But B is my personal favorite because i live for Bruce slanderrrrrrr. Spit on him too just to add extra flavor.
All of these are good options though!! A lot for the imagination. Especially depending on how you view each character. You can get insanely dark with this if you want tooo.
155 notes · View notes
vandal-flower · 11 months ago
Text
We Never Go Out of Style~
Tumblr media
Blue Lock Boys with a s/o who is fashionable.
Requested Characters: Shouei Barou, Ryusei Shidou and Ranze Kurona
Notes: Don't look at me like that...
Tumblr media
Shouei Barou
He dresses very decently, you just add a little sparkle to the mix.
"Shouei, trust me. The biker boyfriend aesthetic fits you."
He's your favourite test model subject meant just for you.
Sometimes, his sisters also join in to play dress up with their older brother. (Just think about it!)
He acts annoyed, but he's secretly enjoying it to the fullest.
When people tell him how good he looks, he always responds with:
"My s/o picked this out for me. Not like you would know with what you're wearing."
He becomes sour when someone compliments your outfit before him.
"A peasant like them complimenting you before me? Hmm, they should know their place before the king, and royal spouse.
He be holding grudge matches ever since he was born. Beat his own world record. (Isagi and Rin could never!)
Tumblr media
Ryusei Shidou
We love dragging men back to the closet. This one especially.
Like you know he has a sense of style, but HE DOESN'T.
"Ryusei, please you can't wear rags with hot pink, and with that horrendous belt. It's an ugly neon."
So that's why you are in a relationship with him. You love him with your whole heart, despite everyone calling him a zesty cockroach. (True love)
He truly loves how you help him, as all your attention is on him, and him alone.
I think he really loves you...
When people tell him how good he looks, he always responds with:
"Oh this? My radical s/o got it for me. Jealous you ain't got a partner like them?
He gets angry when someone compliments your outfit before him.
"He knew I was here first, yet he had the spine to compliment you."
Put him on a leash before he jumps someone. (Just call Ego to pay for medical bills.)
Tumblr media
Ranze Kurona
The one character most of us are at peace with. Shark boi.
"How do I look (Name)?"
"Ranze, you're wearing a pink shark onsie to bed, while I'm wearing a ____ shark onsie. We're matching!"
Honestly he's so...so pure. I can't. He looks good in almost anything, but prefers a little pink on it.
Also some shark themes truly get him going!
He always takes your advice, since you're more experienced in the fashion field. He loves the fact you get to help him. (😭😭)
When people tell him how good he looks, he always responds with:
"Oh, thank you, thank you. My s/o helped me pick this out, you should check their social media!"
He's actually calm when someone compliments your outfit before him.
"I'm a little sad that I wasn't able to compliment you first, but I still think you look beautiful. Very beautiful!"
Boys in Blue Lock, take notes! Kurona is the green flag you could be. (🤭🤭)
Tumblr media
Do you got style?
My inbox is open. Check out my Rules.
325 notes · View notes
tarot-bimbo · 7 months ago
Text
PICK A PILE♡⁠(⁠>⁠ ⁠ਊ⁠ ⁠<⁠)⁠♡
What does your future spouse look like?
1. 2. 3.
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
•°•^•°•^•°•^•°•^•°•^•°•^•°•^•°•^•°•^•°•^•°•^•°•^
Pile 1
Okay so pile one I am seeing someone who works out he or she is most definitely strong they could pick you up. I am seeing like 5'11 he could be that height or shorter I am hearing short king 👑 this person is definitely not so tall they could even be shorter than you actually. But you like that obviously, this person is gonna be your Husband most definitely gonna try to put a ring on your finger REALLY fast. You got lots of wands and swords so I am taking that as he definitely is not gonna disappoint you in bed and if this is a girl then she definitely has a wap lmao one of you may get shy a lot. There could be an age gap I am seeing short hair maybe black or white curly. He could be Italian or from Germany? He could like the beach a lot when you do get with this person he is most definitely gonna take you to his favorite place on the beach. He could also live by water or you two will meet by water. He's rich like not Beyonce rich but he doesn't have to work ya know? He's I can see he has chest hair and if you are a man reading this she definitely has really bug breast or really small. If you are a man reading this I think you definitely have a thing for milfs or they flock towards you and if you are a woman a lot of older men throw themselves on you or that's just what you prefer. They definitely have a big house. Possibly does gymnastics. They could also wear a lot of red or layered clothing. For men I am seeing a girl who mostly wears long dresses and for the woman I am seeing a man in formal get up honestly or like really layered clothing like the aesthetic boys you may see on Pinterest with the baggy layered cloths and stuff. Whoever they are they can dress. They like to cover up a lot tho maybe a cancer I thought of a crab going in their shell suddenly. They definitely also have a high role in their workspace and could even own their own business. Big bosses are what they call themselves 🤣. They have a very heavy accent probably not from the same place you are. Probably an earth sign. I rolled my zodiac dice and you got Aries,Virgo and Gemini.
( I hope this pile resonates with you. I love you☄️)
•°•^•°•^•°•^•°•^•°•^•°•^•°•^•°•^•°•^•°•^•°•^•°•^
Pile 2
Okay so pile twooo Already I am getting your person is loud and their personality. They keep you guessing. They definitely party,like the party doesn't start until they arrive. Your person is definitely clumsy I almost mixed two tarot decks😵‍💫. Definitely day dreams a lot they are very care free they might see the world as one day it's gonna end why not ruin it first? Okay so this person talks a LOT like never a dull moment with them tho. They could travel a lot honestly I ain't getting a lot on look but like green eyes dark hair and eyes, you may think their eyes are very intense and intimidating. They like wearing a lot of hats tho they could possibly be 25 and up. He works he's not rich or anything but he can most definitely spoil you. They definitely like touching you in public and being in nature. They are a lot to even handle not gonna lie but they are also very closed off. They don't want to tell me too much they like surprises and they know you probably hate waiting and stuff. I am also seeing dark red hair like cherry red. He's talking about how he dyed his own hair and has to mix multiple colors. I think you or them might like both genders. Heavy on loving animals might even be an Instagram influencer. I am seeing you two are closer than you think 🤔 my phone buzzed as confirmation on that. They will always be on the phone with you texting FaceTime regular calls it doesn't matter as long as you two are talking. I rolled my astrology dice to see what zodiac sign you would get and I got Aquarius,Libra and Scorpio so these could be in their birth chart.
( I hope this pile resonates with you. I love you☄️)
•°•^•°•^•°•^•°•^•°•^•°•^•°•^•°•^•°•^•°•^•°•^•°•^
Pile 3
Okay so right off back he may look like that dude from Ghostbusters Dan Aykroyd but when he was in his prime. They are on the thicker side and honestly they just might work a lot then go home and do nothing 😅 I am seeing you are the one to spice up there life might even be a chef. He has longer hair definitely not black but not honey blonde more so like a dirty blonde or like a golden brown. He likes to garden and build things. They are the type of you say that your car was messed up could fix it even if they are a woman this could shock the shit out of you. They could look like total dork glasses and everything. Favorite movie could be revenge of the nerds. I am getting a lot of older references and shit oop they definitely have a potty mouth 🫢. But I think both of you are older than most ( please don't take that the wrong way 💖) or just really have a thing for old stuff. They definitely live in the city but when they get with you I see you two might move in a place with more land and green fields I heard like Oregon but I have no idea what that place looks like 😅. I used my astrology dice to find out potential zodiac signs. Aquarius, Libra, Capricorn. You got two of the same zodiacs from pile 2 might wanna rest that too or not 🤪.
( I hope this pile resonates with you. I love you☄️)
•°•^•°•^•°•^•°•^•°•^•°•^•°•^•°•^•°•^•°•^•°•^•°•^
(if you are looking for a private reading please let me know mwah(⁠ ⁠˘⁠ ⁠³⁠˘⁠))
I hope you enjoyed this pick a pile♡
393 notes · View notes
pinkyjulien · 1 year ago
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
The inevitable BG AU for stinkies been rotating in my head all day today as well I might have to jump down that hole at one point 😩✋
20 notes · View notes
intheholler · 8 months ago
Note
what do you think of all of the people being scared of appalachia? i don't know if this is recent or not, but currently i've been seeing a ton of shit online like "never go to the appalachian mountains, it's so dangerous", and i just don't understand it. my family's lived in appalachia for forever, and none of us have experienced anything paranormal or endangering to us. you're one of my favorite blogs on here and i'd just like to hear your thoughts on it
first off, it means a lot that i'm one of your favorite blogs and im really happy i can contribute something to your experience here :') thanks so much for being here <333
but ok so.
my thoughts on it are many. it's been bothering me a long time and i've been meaning to get it off my chest. this will be long and probably ranty, so it won't hurt my feelings if anyone skims lol
lemme preface this little diatribe by saying the obvious: folklore is an integral part of any culture. the mythos of a place/people is tied directly to their histories and unique experiences and struggles and they are enriching. this is true of appalachia too.
oral folk traditions especially are incredibly historically appalachian.
i mentioned in a post i made yesterday about murder ballads, how the purpose of these was to warn kids away from doing dumb shit and getting lost in the hollers--falling down cliffs n mineshafts and shit at night. gettin got by wildlife.
it spooked us safe. they served a purpose, and once you got old enough to realize they're as real as the tooth fairy, they just become enjoyable and nostalgic. because they're you're culture.
probably every mountain kid has stories about haints n boogers that were told to them by their grandparents, and they grow up to tell them to their own kids, and so on. some of it stuck with me because i grew up with the folklore.
by that i mean, i'm a whole 31 year old woman and i still avoid looking out a dark window at night cause it gives me the shivers. i still get spooked when i hear a big cat yowling in the woods. but the difference is i know there's not really haints out there crying--it's just a product of my childhood. ghost stories are fun.
the problem comes in when someone outside the culture gets their hands on appalachian oral folk traditions. then, it becomes a familiar problem: outsiders cherry picking appalachia and harming us with the mess they make rifling through it all.
it's all about the surface level and the visuals. they all love a good aesthetic blog, run by some local from out west or some shit who's never stepped foot here.
but as soon as the spooky photo filters come off and the real life marginalized person is left standing there just out of frame, we go back to being disgusting examples of what not to be. decrepit churches n buildings are aesthetic and quirky until they stop being on a pinterest board, and then they just become damning images of an impoverished region who deserves to be laughed at.
now, not to holler 'splain you--this is more for anyone not from here who might read this: it's been a systemic issue for decades; there were literal government campaigns to demonize us to the rest of the nation so they could garner support to cut into our mountains and exploit our labor and resources.
well, they were fuckin successful, and we have been falsely made out to be this homogenous nightmare of a place--"welfare exploiting" maga country who deserves everything we get, and nothing we don't.
by going so far as to take appalachian folklore that we tell each other and picking out the "aesthetic" stuff--the haints and general paranormal--they are pruning what they like from our culture--the safe things, like ghost stories--for their own aesthetic use.
but not only that, they are using it to demonize us… yet again.
'appalachia is scary. it's full of things that will kill you. don't look out the window at night cause a booger will get you.' only they don't call them boogers cause they ain't even from here. ask them what a haint is and they'll ask if u mispelled 'haunt.'
it gets even worse when you consider that so much of it has roots in native american culture, and how that continues to be exploited and misrepresented.
i'm not even innocent of that. a while back i had to check myself because i made a comment on here about ~spooky appalachia~ ignorant to the fact that what i was commenting on was actually a deeply important cultural and spiritual element to local indigenous tribes. my comments were harmful by my failure to educate myself and know better, thereby saying things carelessly.
my point being--i'm from the area. i should have known better.
when outsiders start saying the kind of shit they say about what they think they hear in the woods without even knowing where such an idea comes from, they're disrespecting a displaced, abused and exploited people, harming real cultures just for clicks without even knowing. that's on top of the damage they're doing to greater appalachia.
it's fuckin gross.
i think my favorite one i ever seen was this middle aged white lady going through her pristine mcmansion somewhere in suburbia, pulling the million curtains and locking the million doors, going "nighttime routine in appalachia!! 🤪🤪"
i could be wrong about this particular person--i didn't check their other tiktoks because im sick of them accounts and tired of giving them the benefit of the doubt--but it immediately came off as a transplant because:
1) mcmansion, 2) i dont know nobody here that locks their shit down like that (not locking up could even be argued as a part of my local culture, a reflection of our deep sense of community and trust in our neighbors).
and then the comments was all like "i don't know how you guys live there" and it actually broke my heart and pissed me off because even if--especially if--you're one of us, why the fuck are you harming us for likes? why are you turning people against us in a brand new way?
and to the transplants that do this--why?
you're not even from here, you moved here to this place you hate and made it worse just so your front porch would have a nice view, and are now benefiting socially from perpetuating bullshit about us?
you buy up all the land, land we often had no choice but to sell in the first place to survive instead of passing it on to our families, land we originally took from the indigenous peoples your content comes from.
you overdevelop it and turn it unrecognizable to make it more like the comfortable cities you come from. you gut a mountain town of its local businesses and cultures, you price people out of their homes...
...and then once you settle in all cozy like, you go tell everyone else how scary it is? how you can't trust the hills? like it's a cool paranormal bravery badge to wear? fuck off entirely.
so idk, in short my personal thoughts are: i personally enjoy a little myth as a treat, because the folklore is a part of the gothic, a part of our culture and a part of my childhood. i don't (intentionally) wield it as a weapon or use it as a pedestal to get the weird brand of attention that people like them are after.
and those who do this can get got by them haints for all i care.
164 notes · View notes
matchadobo · 9 months ago
Text
KIDD; wedding headcanons
warning/s: partial nsfw but no occurrence of the actual thing, super fluff i died and alived
i'll fix the formatting lateeeerr >:) red ones are individual bullets while white ones are subheadings of the previous red one (hope that makes sense)
Tumblr media
* when you bring the question to him he'll be like:
* "me? you wanna marry me?" he'd point to himself.
* "yes, silly! who else?!"
* "i-i mean," he'll instantly become red and start fumbling over his words. "i-i was supposed to pop the damn question out..."
* you best bet it'll be a full blown steampunk wedding! he'd want it to be in the victoria but it's also fine with him if you'd want a beach or garden wedding so long as the theme stays. this i what i think he'll be wearing, the aesthetic of the event, and what your gown'll be.
* during preparations, he'd mostly leave it up to you so long as you follow his color palette: red and blacks. but when it comes to foods, he'd be keen on having an attendance while you taste test and choose out stuff.
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
his and your fits
Tumblr media Tumblr media
* before your wedding day, he'd be soooo anxious. i have this thought that when you two are individually out on your bachelor/ette parties, he'd be calling you by the end of it just cuz he can't sleep.
* "it's pretty late, kidd. did your party just finished?"
* "yeah, every one's knocked out of their damn minds. and apparently, i can't fuckin' sleep."
* "hmm, nervous?"
* "like the fuck i am." he'd try to deny it but eventually give in. "i wanna see you before i sleep."
* "but you know the superstition-"
* "fuck that shi-"
* "no! i don't want any bad luck!"
* "luck? baby, we defy all odds, don't we?"
* he'd insist but you'll also insist. so he just settled on an overnight call where you two slept in.
* during the wedding day, you two'll be tired as fuck because the only sleep you guys got was 2-3 hours because of talking and comforting each other until 5 😭. while getting ready, kidd will be more impatient and irritated than usual. but it's just due to the combination of weariness and anxiety. mostly anxiety. he never felt this anxious when it comes to you, he'd always be confident about how you two felt about each other. but right now, all he thinks if he's sure or not. if you're sure with him. eustass kidd never doubts, but he feels so deeply for you he'd never want to hurt you and that brings him to a wall. the people involve with him that day had a hard time working with him because his attitude is extraaa mean 😔
* but when he sees you at the end of the aisle as you donned a dress that looked way too good on you it was insane to him, all his worries left his body through a tear that cascaded down his eye.
* "you crying?" killer nudged kidd, noticing the taller to reach over his breast pocket to fish out the hanky.
* "shut up, you ain't the one doing the marryin'."
* i imagine his vows to reflect the kind of person he is, passionate and brute about it. he'll be soooo poetic it'd surprise you.
* "where do i even start fuck-" you'd giggle along with the audience. "i do lotsa damn declarations but this is makin' me shy, jeez."
* "name," he'd sheepishly look at you. "you are my dream and i honestly curse the seas that i'd only found you nos and not at the time i needed you the most. and now i, for the life of me, can't imagine how i'd live without you."
* "i, eustass kid, will put hands on anyone who mess with my wife, if those fuckers think they're so big, well so am i, aye?! if she cries i'll cry with her, and trust me when i say i will kill any bastard who dares do her wrong, because that's my wife, they better not look at her cuz she's taken, she's mine. got it?"
* "you've learned to love me, an insufferable asshole, in ways i never thought possible. you've seen the worst and the best, the weak and the strong, the ugly and somehow the pretty in me. you make me a better man."
* "you conquered all my fears, seized my pride, and built my strength. you are the reason i became the way i am today. you crawled your way in 'ere and took control over my heart, you little monster."
* "from the start, i haven't exactly been kind to you. i mean, i've been rude, and disrespectful; but you grew on me, you were patient and measured up to my irritated ass... so much that I don't know what happened, you really snuck up on me... so may you forgive me my past dumb mistakes. because even if I am stupid and mean, and I may not show my love properly, I love you and will do anything to give you what you fuckin' deserve. you know that."
* "name is a great woman, one who stands and always fights for what she wants, and I want the honor of being your husband. we'll conquer anything, yeah?"
* "okay i'm very fucking embrassed now so i'll just come out and say it... I need to marry you, not because I love you, not because I like you, but because I have to to... yeah, I said it, I don't like you or love you, i need you in my fucking life."
* man he'd end up crying while saying them. but his voice wouldn't waver, it's eustass kidd come ooooon
* he'd be dramatic and give you the bridal kiss where you kind of hang mid air and he supports your back.
* reception would be firrrreee it'd be an absolute rave! you'd have your wedding dress be modified where you can discard the tulle or some shit to make the dress shorter.
* your guests and dearest friends each made a speech about your craziness with each other
* "kidd was so damn insane for this girl. one time, he asked me if he should get her an otter or dung beetle as a christmas present. bro doesn't even celebrate christmas until she came along!"
* "kidd stood out as one of name's partners, he was the first jackass she fell for that was actually a keeper."
* "i'm telling you, kidd became so self-conscious when he met name! he started worrying if his lipstick was the right shade or if his eyeliner looked neat!"
* "what confuses me was whenever they talked to me about each other, the word 'i hate' always comes first and them being whipped follows after. it was annoying."
* drinking games come after, trivias about the couple and between you two after. and as expected, it was competitive because neither of you wanted to lose and give way 🤣. kidd as a man, will never go easy and let you win tho. he respects you like that.
* but what prompted me to make this hc is the wedding garter tradition 🫦. this will be his favorite part. he'd be very extra tho,
* he'll take off his suit jacket and roll up his sleeves when you two are in front for the act.
* he'd maintain reaaaally strong eye contact and will be feeling himself while you burn red and start fanning yourself from laughing or actually feeling flustered under his gaze.
* he'd get under your dress, have a long whiff of that 🐱 and his breath'll tickle you bc he nasty like that, lick your thigh a little, give the flesh on your hips a squeeze, and drag the garter off with his teeth very very languidly
* he'll be very pouty when it's time to give it to the bestman tho
* then the actual rave comesss! blasting music and lights at the victoria, it didn't seem like a wedding reception. but you and kidd were in the center of it all, dancing with each other the same way you two met in a bar.
* "wanna get out of here?" he whispered with his hands on your hips, bending down to your ear due to the deafening beats.
* "hmm, ain't this familiar?" you giggled.
* "aye. this is the part where you come with me and we kiss at the back."
* "eh? that's different from what i remember. your mean ass was angry at me for stepping on your shoe." you poked at his nose while he laughed subtly.
* "shh shh, we both know how bad that ended. bar got fucked up real good." you two broke out in laughter, reminiscing at old times.
* kidd would inevitably drag you to his quarters, man's hungrryyyyy
* he'd be so desperate to take off your clothes, with how beautiful you look today and how he was deprived of you for a couple of nights
* you'd leave the deck making out, walkign sideways, backwards, u name it
* "it'd be pretty weird if the bride and groom's gone on their reception, right?" you broke out of the kiss.
* "and we don't give a shit about it, don't we?" he'd grin, tugging at your lips
* aaaand stuff thst happens in the honeymoon happened 😏
Tumblr media
been in the works foR WAY TOO LONG
219 notes · View notes