#if someone cares about you... respects you... then they'll try to problem solve in a calm constructive manner

[mejomonster]

I am begging you, if your partner insults you, curses at you, screams at you, starts many conversations by accusing you of something (and if you two talk about this situation - you continue having arguments instead of just solving problems together), you feel in danger when near your partner, you feel safer when away from your partner, or your partner hits you, please please consider leaving them.

Just consider leaving the space they're in, and going to a friend's house or a family member's and staying for a day. Do you feel safer? Calmer?

You do not have to be friends with a person who disrespects or harasses you. You do not have to be friends with someone who hits you, who tells you you're stupid/ugly/annoying whatever, who screams at you when you spill food or forget to do the dishes instead of just asking "hey could you please clean this?", who doesn't accept a "no" from you such as "No I do not want to be touched right now." Please tell me you'd be kind enough to yourself to stop seeing a friend who hit you or told you you're worthless or screamed at you for not reading their mind (no one can read minds).

So if a partner does those things, you're allowed to stop seeing them too. You are allowed to love someone, to care about their wellbeing and want good things for them, and also REMOVE YOURSELF from their space and life. You're allowed to think "wow I love this guy, I am sad he's depressed, I hope he feels better" and also think "but he keeps calling me ugly and stupid, and every time I see him he insults me and screams and I get scared, I should stop visiting him and stop answering his calls and texts so I am no longer in situations where I could be insulted and screamed at." You are allowed to love someone, and ALSO protect yourself from them! You deserve to be safe! You deserve to protect yourself first, care about your own wellbeing first, care about if YOU are safe and content, even if it means upsetting someone else. Even if someone else would rather you were hurting, if it meant you kept seeing them.

You deserve to be respected. You deserve to be spoken to kindly, to feel you are safe from physical harm, to be talked to as a person with value. From strangers, friends, and lovers. If people are hurting you, if you feel worse being around them, you are ALLOWED to leave and put yourself in a place where you are no longer being hurt. You deserve to prioritize your own well being.

[yourgamemasterthewhiterabbit]

Of my 2% capacity to be attracted to anyone, my type is like 90% women, 5% pretty men and 5% men you would swear are super fucking manly, and never questioned being straight and cis, but are now suddenly *stressed* that they can't figure out why their attraction to me [fully socially interpreted as a woman and labelled that way up until relatively recently] feels incredibly fucking gay

[miscellaneous2848]

7 35 28 :3

Y'know I can't actually tell which agent you want this to be about. So taking the :3 into account I'm going to assume this one's going to be about Mika (the lobcorp agent)

7. favorite animal? why?

I feel like she'd really like geckos. Like, she hails from... Ah, i don't know for certain, but I feel like she'd come from somewhere with a generally dry climate and be absolutely enamored when she sees a lizard for the first time. Like, she wouldn't know the name for it exactly, but she'd like them! They'd stick in her head. When she sees the Queen of Hatred breach hostile-y she goes ",,,wait. where are its legs" <- hasn't seen a snake

35. do they ever return home?

...No. Most librarians in the Library don't. Well, not most - all. Whether or not it produces a better outcome for their lives or not, or what they'll end up giving up when they leave... They're stuck there.

28. how do they show that they care about someone? how do they express that they don't like someone?

Caring for someone: mostly physical contact like hugs and stuff!! Actually, it takes some time for her to respect boundaries - she has a tendency to spring hugs on people without any warning, which she has to unlearn. She also tends to give nicknames to people she really likes - for one example, post Netzach CS she starts calling Atlanta "lil' sprout." Not liking someone: She's a bit iffier in that regard, because she doesn't want to act outright rude to someone! She might act... a bit more distant to the person she doesn't like, and doesn't ever try to tell the person that she doesn't like them - which, ironically, causes more problems than it solves.

[holywizardheart]

🌌Astrology observations part 10🌌

|DISCLAIMER!|

The pictures aren't mine ❌

Don't copyright my work ⚠️

🕊Enjoy your reading🕊

💙Moon in the 6th house can suffer from terrible anxiety and insomnia. They'll plan everything even little things and follow it. But if things do not go as they wanted, a big panic will begin. They may also be obsessed with perfectionism and be workaholics. The experiences that have been accumulating for days will tease them at night and keep them awake. They will spend the whole night thinking about the situation that has developed incorrectly.

💙Moon in the 8th house will not reveal their weak side in any case. You will never see them crying and showing vulnerabilities. They will keep all the pain and suffering to themselves for a long time. Furthermore, they may have a fear of opening up to people. But if they are attached to someone, it will be very difficult for them to let this person go. I want to point out that sometimes they can be jealous of their friends or loved ones. In addition, they may have good intuition and psychic abilities.

💙Sun in the 4th house is highly interested in respecting traditions and family members. They are a patriot of their homeland and admire it. In the first place puts the family and then work and other stuff. And security is very important to them because only when feeling safe they can express their emotions and function at their best. No matter what they will always be ready to sacrifice everything for their family.

💙Mars in the 1st house the hottest and sexiest people. They exude confidence and firmness, and very purposeful personalities. Can have a loud voice and the skin is mostly dark in colour. Their bodies are often athletic and fit. Know how to stand up for themselves and also be great leaders. They’re stubborn, ambitious and not at all diplomatic. They definitely hate being restrained or told what to do. But having this aspect sometimes makes them prone to accidents and disasters.

💙Mercury in the 9th house these people tend to be analytical and observant has a great talent to solve problems with little to no effort. They find it very refreshing to talk to people, share their ideas and convince others. Such intelligent and fast learners. They are adaptative and flexible never stuck in one opinion. If they are interested in something, they will try to find any information concerning it. Can learn different languages or cultures of countries.

💙Sun in the 10th house like to work hard for their goals, success and feeling of accomplishment. These individuals have all that it takes to be great leaders, even if others see them as arrogant and tyrannical. Always need to be in control of things and what's going on around them. They really want to be appreciated and admired for their efforts because this is what builds up their self-esteem. Sometimes they may push themselves to the extreme and don't care about their physical and mental state.

[icannotgetoverbirds]

Fat people deserve better.

We are not repulsive. We are not vile. We are not appalling.

We are people.

If my existence "promotes obesity"? Good!

You want to know why?

I am not promoting the idea that someone should become obese. I am not going to attempt to police someone else's body and lifestyle like sizeist people do.

I am promoting the idea that people of all sizes are deserving of the bare minimum of basic human respect.

This should not be a radical idea. This should not be something we have to fight about.

99% of the time? Being fat is not a choice. And you know what? Even if it was - even if I was shoving big macs into my greasy fucking maw every 2 hours?

I would still be deserving of basic decency.

I would still be deserving of proper medical care that takes into account things other than my size and diet.

I would still be deserving of comfort, of clothing that fits.

You want to know the worst part of all of this?

Fat kids deserve better, and all too often, they don't get it.

Fat kids deserve to be able to be active without being mocked for the way their body moves.

Fat kids deserve to be seen as children rather than medical problems that need solving.

Fat kids deserve clothing that fits them and makes them feel good about themselves.

Fat kids deserve to eat, and to eat good food.

Fat kids deserve to eat cake at birthday parties like everyone else.

Fat kids deserve to go trick-or-treating like all the other kids.

Fat kids deserve love. Fat kids deserve respect.

Fat kids deserve a proper childhood without having to pay a toll of trying to change their bodies.

Fat kids deserve acceptance for their bodies as they are and as they will be - not pleasantries about how they'll grow up to be skinny, so they don't need to learn to love themselves before then.

Fat people deserve better.

[lostandfem]

Hey I dont think jumping from a cult to another one will be helpful to you. You should check deeper into a more broad generalisation of life experiences instead of making your whole life about your gender again. Radical feminism isn't helpful because it doesn't take women accountable for the shit they do to other women too. Blaming males all day long won't work or do shit because we have to solve our own issues between females to live better lives. Sure men can be awful. But so are women. Radfems are also full of shit and attack peoples physical flaws at the second they have the occasion to. They don't really understand that women come in different shapes and ethnicities. Shit like "oh look at her body hair/facial hair" for exemple will come on the table all the time. Or while trying to make fun of transwomen they'll insult women that are less GC too because they don't give a shit anymore. So be careful with "communities"... Those women aren't full on accepting. That's my two cents. Good luck with everything, life's hard and so is finding respectable people... Or real lesbian women and sane bisexual women. But never give up. You'll find your way.

yknow, i appreciate youre trying to be helpful, but i trust myself here, and i dont really appreciate the patronizing attitude. im not some helpless, lost puppy

its interesting youre talking about making gender my whole life again tho. its not something id expect someone to acknowledge. most people dont want to acknowledge that thats what its like in the trans community. but this isnt making gender my whole life again. acknowledging misogyny and sexism isnt obsessing about an identity. these are judgement calls about peoples lived experiences as well as my own. and yeah, absolutely both men and women can be awful as individuals, but thats an entirely different issue from recognizing how women are treated as a sex because of their reproductive capabilities. that capability is a resource people want to take control of (if you support abortion rights then thats the cause youre addressing for an example of how thats a real issue that needs to be discussed). if you recognize that, you recognize that theres an imbalance between what sex holds power. were not “blaming males”, were recognizing who holds the power in the situations we are disadvantaged in. you have to find a source to a problem *somewhere*. women doing bad things to other women doesnt mean that power imbalance doesnt exist. and looking inward to address an outward disadvantage doesnt make any sense. if we examine ourselves enough, will the pay gap close, for example? is it womens fault theres a pay gap to begin with?

also idk where youre getting your information about what radfems think about other women, but do you think theyd even tolerate me here if they only wanted a certain type of body? my tits are gone and im hairy from testosterone. if they were anti-body diversity, why am i accepted anyway? why are they accepting any detrans woman? ive seen these women come in every shape and ethnicity, and praise women of every size and ethnicity (from thirsting to beautiful photography).

if you want to look into it, check out @ laetitiaky on instagram. shes a black woman who describes sex-based oppression from her own experiences, essentially (also makes p cool art). if you want to see examples of radfems of colour the blogs @oneblackbraid and @rad-by-nature are two off the top of my head (hopefully im not mistaken rip). im sure if you scroll enough youll find them talking about radical feminism in relation to racial issues.

anyway thanks for the advice, but i didnt ask to be helped. i hope you find your way, too

[adamsvanrhijn]

@thismoleculeisacomedian

wait what is your opinion? Do you think he hated himself for being gay? (I disagree w/ that viewpoint, but would like to understand what it is & where it comes from.)

I definitely don't think Thomas hates himself for being gay — at any point in the series. I also don't think he ever moves away, internally, from "I am not the same as you, but I am not foul". I have seen people say that what happens in S5 is an indication of that and I completely disagree.

However.

I do think Thomas has low self-esteem for essentially the duration of the series, and I think he experiences self-hatred that is complicated by the fact that he is gay, surrounded by homophobia, and almost certainly a victim of complex trauma (also related to homophobia).

Thomas is confident in one thing over the course of the entire series, and this is his exceptional competence at work. He recognizes his own worth and takes pride in his actual value, which I think he actually sees very objectively. (Facebook moms, etc, do not agree with me here.) Wherever possible he makes himself indispensable, and it is in my opinion literally something he clings to as a reason to live.

(I also think he cares deeply about and, until S2/S3, has confidence in, his physical appearance. But that is a different piece.)

One of his most basic psychological needs is to be needed, and as part of this, to be contributing to something larger than him and to be essential to its functioning.

Literally in the very first episode of the entire series, we see that he is recognizing he may not have a place at Downton at all, and if he does, it isn't a place where he is valued and appreciated. This is a psychological threat—time and time again after this, we see him start to lose his head at the idea of instability.

How does he react?

By trying to make himself necessary elsewhere.

The amount of birds he is trying to get with one stone—

Give something that is necessary & desired to a man he loves

Resolve an issue at his workplace (I don't think he thought about this much but I do think it would have crossed his mind)

Escape a place he is not valued

Move upward in his current social hierarchy (domestic service)

To a job he is skilled at and enjoys

The job itself is providing essential service to the life & functioning of another human person

That human person is his lover, thereby fulfilling a different emotional need (his and said lover's)

And even when he is almost certainly set on running off into the sunset with the Duke, he still jumps at the chance to prove his worth when Bates goes, because that's just how he functions.

Like, in terms of the relationship specifically, he is trying to solve the financial problems of the Duke's estate AND become the person responsible for his daily care & keeping AND establish a safe way for them to be lovers For Ever And Ever—where he can then emotionally & sexually fulfill him on top of the physical, mental, financial and societal (having a valet as social status but also as the person who arranges pretty much everything for you and keeps you up with appearances) and needs he would be meeting.

CLINGY MUCH?

And then as soon as it starts going south his tactic is:

Look at how bad I want it

Look at how good of a valet I am

(You promised!)

Look at how good of a lover I am

Look at how much I know & care about you

Except then—

{clear internal chaos}

I do not care about this in terms of you at all, your needs never meant anything to me, this was just about me and I'm not the vulnerable one here, you are

But what is blackmail?

Blackmail is when you threaten another person with exposure of private/secret information to get something out of them.

The idea is that the victim will fear losing social standing or facing legal consequences enough to provide whatever that something is—and it can leave long-lasting damage regardless of the length of the extortion itself, because the victim has a psychological, and it follows, social & physical need, to maintain their current life sans embarrassment or like, a criminal record. Even a threat itself that cannot be carried out is damaging, because it makes the victim aware of the possibility.

The victim has to rely on and trust the blackmailer (that they will keep their word) while also fulfilling their own demands. Indefinitely, or even like, forever. Control freak much? Etc.

"smithensy when the fuck are you answering the actual question" PROBABLY NEVER

It's also a common event with relationships resembling theirs, so it's bound to be the first thing to come to mind! And he came up with it in the moment and clearly regretted it like, immediately!

Absolutely! Agree!

...except that he does it again.

And then again.

The second time, he is actually reluctant! He knows in what way he has been trusted and he knows what need he is fulfiing! And he really doesn't want to break that trust and stop fulfilling that need, even though his own needs have been intentionally torn to shreds!

But the next time he does it it is intentional. It is not split second and it is not against someone who has severely harmed him and brought the threat of ruin over his head. He takes it really fucking seriously, to the point of neuroticism, and he constantly reminds that person that she needs him—and although Baxter has to be liked for his requirement to stay in the know, I think there is also a vicarious element. He is giving her everything she needs to become indispensable. He's doing it while also holding the one thing that could ruin it over her head, yes, but he is also using her as like, a way of validating his own understanding of the house and who lives in it and what they require.

Anyway.

There are many points in his arc in the series where someone prone to depression and suicidality could be driven to attempt suicide. I can think of like, five off the top of my head.

But when he does, the breaking point is that he sees himself as unvalued and unnecessary—in essentially every area of his life, but especially his job and industry, which as above is really the only thing he never wavers in.

And he still doesn't waver in the work itself, necessarily. His problem is not that he is no longer skilled at his work, or that he can't meet his own expectations. It's that the job itself is surplus. It doesn't matter how good he is anymore; it doesn't matter how perfect he is. He has no control over it and it is the final straw for someone who has been fighting for scraps of agency for his entire life and only managing to have them through self-harm (see series 2).

I do not think Thomas sees himself as Enough. That is why he strives for perfection—if he is Good, and Skilled, and Talented, and he is needed, that is almost like being loved.

And by working his ass off and keeping the expectations of others around him low, forcing a poor opinion of himself, he is putting himself in a position where even if he isn't able to give it his all, his 70% or 60% or 40% is still better than what all these other people are capable of at 110%, so even if he is disliked and looked down upon and nobody wants him around, well, they have to keep him anyway because he is That Good and things will fall apart without him—

—and if it doesn't work and he has to go well then at least they'll be sorry when everything is ruined and he is irreplacable!

Aaaaaand he's thrusting himself into isolation and shooting himself in the foot.

The self-hatred piece is knowing that no matter what he does he will not be Enough, that there is just something missing. One piece is out of his control but he can never successfully work around it, so he can never have what he wants. The lack of success is what is driving the inward resentment. He has a lot of regret and guilt and he blames himself for every single action he takes that results even slightly in a loss of dignity. Again we see this in the first episode but also, like, the entirety of series 2, 3, 5 and 6 have this thread weaving in and out. When being mean and externalizing his blame doesn't work or make him feel better he turns it around.

The S5 plotline is more to do with having something than getting rid of something. If he can just have this one thing it will make everything else go away; it is the key to Being Enough.

And then in the cottage hospital he is immediately lashing out at and blaming himself for bothering to want that, let alone to try it.

Baxter is right, though! His tolerance for pain and suffering in the pursuit of fulfilling his own needs is extremely high and he seems determined to push it.

People who have lots of self-love and self-respect do not constantly punish themselves.

I have been writing this post for two hours and I don't think it makes much sense. I am going to make dinner now.

[randomminer]

HPHM MC X Preferred Ship Questions

Sorry this got a little long in places.

1) Who is your MC preferred significate other?

-Charlie Weasley [[MORE]]

2) When did they start developing feelings for each other?

-sloooowly

-Svari is aro/demi and the typical depictions of romance really make her uncomfortable

-Charlie is aro/ace and while he doesn't usually experience sexual or romantic urges, he does still feel strong connections with companions, in particular Svari

-Svari was the first to realize she may be drawn to Charlie in a way that's "more than friends", but where as many would become a blushing mess upon experiencing a first crush, Svari was terrified

-she didn't know what to do with these emotions and urges that just fell in her lap

-the only people she confided in were her Aunt Minerva, Penny, and Rowan

-at best, she was clumsy with her "flirting", much to her friends' amusement

-to make it worse, Charlie was completely oblivious to her attempts

-she tried shifting her affections to others, Barnaby Lee and Talbot Winger being examples, but her heart always seemed to pull her back to Charlie

-while Svari never lacked confidence in her skills and appearance, she didn't see herself as a worthy match for this young man she had become drawn to

-she had resolved herself to keeping her feelings secret and just being happy for Charlie with whoever he fell for and made him happy

-she tried to convince herself that that would be enough

3) Who confessed their feelings and where did it happen?

-Svari didn't actually voice her feelings to Charlie until well after Hogwarts

-it happened at the Burrow, at a small farewell party for Charlie, a few days before he would actually leave for Romania

-the two were sitting by themselves in the garden and Charlie was excitedly yammering on about dragons and his dream job, talking about a mile a minute

-Svari listened with a strained smile, feeling a bitter sweet ache building in her heart

-Charlie would be leaving and with every sentence, Svari could feel her resolve crumbling away

-midway through one of Charlie's rants, the dam finally burst and Svari basically regurgitated years of suppressed feelings into two minutes, a silent Charlie wide eyed and blindsided

-after much embarrassment, reassuring, and talk, the two decided to give it a shot and see where things would go

4) How long had they had those feelings? 

-while Svari had been grappling with her feelings for years, Charlie just kinda stumbled into it and thought "eh, what the hell, could be fun"

-the relationship would be slow, mostly long distance, and little more than hand holding and cuddling when in person, but both were content with that

-Charlie would set his boundaries and Svari would respect them. If either wanted to try something more, it was always with consent from the other

5) Where was their first date to and how did it go?

-neither was very keen on the idea of flowers, chocolate, and dancing under the stars

-they just did what they would do as friends...only now they were more than that

-in this case, they were packing the last of Charlie's things and had lunch

-Svari felt the need to give Charlie a gift to take with him to Romania

-after their "date" she handed him woven leather bracelet similar to her own, but with a poorly made dragon picture burned into the side

-he'd laughed, but was touched

6) What was the most awkward moment they have shared?

-definitely the first kiss

-it was the first Christmas holiday that Charlie had been back since going to the sanctuary

-the remaining Weasley family members and some wizarding neighbors were gathered at a magical pub for a neighborhood Christmas Eve party

-and cheesey as it sounds, Charlie and Svari got caught under the magic mistletoe that had been floating around looking for victims

-Charlie had noticed it first and silently gestured at it with his head

-Svari didn't know where to look, what to do with her hands, was stumbling over her words

- their relationship was still so new, she didn't want to make Charlie uncomfortable, and at the same time was overwhelmed herself

-so imagine her complete surprise when he was the one to gently pull her in by the collar of her jacket, plant a quick but loving smooch on her lips, smile, then got back to the party like nothing had happened

7) When did the curse gang found out about them?

-Svari had talked about her feelings before with her Aunt Minerva, Penny, and Rowan

-Bill has eyes, has been around them all through Hogwarts, and isn't an idiot

-everyone else either found out at Charlie's farewell party or through gossip

8) Do they follow the same career path after Hogwarts or follow different choices?

-Charlie, of course, went to Romania and worked at the dragon sanctuary

-Svari, due to her half-breed status, found it hard to hold a job and mostly stuck around the UK

-she did become part of a group who aid and rehabilitate half breeds and turned humans (it was through this group that Svari met and befriended Remus Lupin) her volunteer work kept her busy and happy

-up until after the Second Wizarding War, they mostly kept in contact via owls, fireplaces, and holidays

-while they would have liked to be closer and seen each other more, each had their own calling.

9) What song(s) describes their relationship with one another?

-"Another Night on Mars" by The Maine

-"You're My Best Friend" by Queen

-"Head over Feet" by Alanis Morissette

10) Do they have any inside jokes with each other?

-the amount of times the two of them and Bill have snuck into the Prefect's Bathroom as a group has become something of a joke

-"going to the toilet, Charlie? Should I grab Bill? Just like old times?"

11) Have they worked together with finding the curse vaults or do they try to convince the other not to endanger themselves?

- To Svari, there isn't a Hogwarts story worth telling that doesn't begin with the words "Charlie and I"

- finding the vaults is no exception

12) When did they have their first kiss? 

-see #6

13) Is either of them a member of the quidditch team? Do they root for their house or each other?

-at the current time in Hogwarts Mystery, Charlie is a seeker for Gryffindor and Svari is a beater for Ravenclaw

-they cheer for each other when they are up against other houses, but when it's Gryffindor vs. Ravenclaw, they know loser wears winner's house colors the next day and winner buys loser butterbeer

14) Do they participate in any of the same clubs or made any of their own?

-between the vaults, Quidditch, and school? I don't see them being part of clubs anyway

15) Are they reserve about sharing affection or open about it?

-neither has a problem with public displays of affection, but their's are pretty tame in comparison to most of their friends

16) Have they ever had a fight? Was it small or big? How did they solve it?

-any couple who says they'll never have a fight isn't going to last

-fights are hard, but they help a couple grow

-Svari and Charlie are no exception

-one of their larger ones happened while Svari was in the hospital

-while trying to help a couple of half-breed teens who were quickly becoming involved in some bad stuff, Svari had gotten caught up in a battle between aurors and dark wizards

-she managed to get the two teens to safety, but had been hit with several spells and almost died

-she was in St. Mungo's for three weeks

-Charlie had come as soon as he could, but was very angry at the risks she was taking

-going into a dangerous neighborhood, that was a known dark wizard gang's territory, at night, with no back up, to try and talk sense into a pair of teens who probably wouldn't change anyway, was one of the stupidest things she had done

-they had tried to keep a civil conversation, but it esscalated into a loud back and forth about the dangers of both their jobs and the strain it put on both of them

-at one point, Svari felt her "other" form beginning to surface and in frustration threw a small vase of flowers at the wall by Charlie and told him to leave, which he did

-they didn't talk for several weeks, but both were hurting

-after Svari was released from the hospital, but not back to work yet, the two teens came to her for advice and options.

-feeling a wave of relief that these kids were going to be ok, Svari decided to ride the good vibes and go fix things with Charlie

-when she got to the Romanian sanctuary, Charlie was being treated for minor dragon related injuries (at this point I'm thinking it was what would eventually become the shiny burn mark on his arm, as described in the GoF when he first met Harry)

-their reversed positions was a good ice breaker

-they sat outside and just talked for hours

-they agreed that while the worry will always be there, it wasn't right for them to hold the other from following their path

-they would need to be more careful, because they both had someone who would be hurt if something happened to them

-after everything was said, Svari pressed her forehead to Charlie's and told him she loved him for the first time

17) Do they get jealous easy? And if so, who?

You tell me.

-Since Charlie wasn't one for dating, Svari never really had to battle with feelings of jealousy (except maybe with dragons)

-Charlie, on the other hand, would be supportive, but withdrawn

-this wasn't territory he was used to and he may not have entirely understood why he felt upset when Svari was romantically involved with someone else

-he wasn't feeling so much "hey, I love you, and want to be with you forever and always, that should be me with you"

-it was more like when your best friend or a sibling suddenly starts giving all their attention to a girlfriend/boyfriend and you feel left out, betrayed, and conflicted

18) Do they sneak into each other’s dorms without being found?

-not usually, there are much cooler places to hang out in a magical school

19) Have they broken rules to have fun?

-they have snuck into the Forbidden Forest so much that I think the prefects have given up trying to stop them

-"whatever, just don't lose us any house points...and bring a jacket"

20) Who is the most protective between them?

-they are both very protective of each other

-if the situation called for it, either of them would fight like hell for the other

[justonemun]

I don't remember if you answered a question similar to this before but how differently did the main trio act in the pilot compared to the main series? and if the teachers get more than just a cameo, how do you think they'll behave?

I’ve danced around the subject in a few asks, but never really stated it directly. My response is sort of a blend of hard evidence we see in the series and interpretations drawn from that info, so there’s a bit of headcanon woven in, though I try to keep it minimal.

Something possessed me to write an essay on this so the rest is under the cut:

We’ll start with Yellow. 

For the most part in the YouTube series he sticks to the script of what’s happening and when he does resist a Teacher it’s mild. We see this in episode 5 the most: Spinach asks him if he’s hungry and replies with “no”, despite saying so he continues to be pretty complacent for the rest of the song in contrast to Duck. Other than this, he’s usually down with what teachers have to say and will participate in the lesson. He follows Shrignold with little persuasion, and is quick to take to the Digital world in episode 4. Yellow is also inquisitive, we see this in just about every episode. In 1, he asks Sketch how they get ideas, 2: if time is even real, 4: about his digital self being real, 6: questioning Tony’s sudden re-appearance. And these are the scenarios I could remember off the top of my head. I’m sure there are more instances of Yellow’s curiosity other than this.

We see Yellow starting to change come episode 5. He responds to Spinach’s question of “are you hungry?” with a no, but continues to follow the lesson. Episode 6 shows a pretty drastic change. He’s missing Duck and Red, and is so uninterested in Lamp’s lesson that he’ll actually touch Lamp to turn the light out, attempt to ignore him, then interrupt throughout the lesson to try to stop it. He no longer asks questions or joins the lesson. As the rest of the teachers start glitching into his bedroom, he’ll go so far to accuse Tony of killing him, and plead to “make it stop”. This makes me wonder if he knows about the Control Panel, but that’s an essay for another day.

(Purely headcanon here, but I think Yellow’s growing unease is a pretty strong argument for episode 6 being canon in the TV universe: Yellow is not interested in following the Key or the Milk’s attempts to get him to stop trying to fight against Duck’s brainwashing with illegal activity/violence. An earlier version of Yellow would have been far more complacent in the Pilot.)

Looking at Yellow objectively in the Pilot, he’s pretty self centered. He appears to care most about it being his birthday and will take measures to stop Duck through graffiti or going into the mayor’s office once Duck has become integrated into the security system. Despite this, it is still personally driven in motivation as all of this is done in an attempt to secure a celebration for his birthday. He mostly ignores or is indifferent to the Key’s song (though it appeared to be mostly targeted at Duck). While listening to the Milk Jug at first, he soon goes against the Teacher’s wishes of rebelling. Yellow also pushes the Milk Jug after getting fed up with him in the Mayor’s Office–We’ve seen this rebellious nature before in episode 6. I believe this is the second time Yellow has gotten physically angry at a Teacher aside from turning the Lamp off. This stood out to me. He’s become much more independent from the Teachers. This might just be the product of him having a goal to meet (having his birthday party) or indicative of character growth. Or both. That’s up to interpretation, though.

Okay, now Red.

Red appears mostly passive throughout the YouTube series. He doesn’t offer a ton of plot advancement until episode 4. He is mostly indifferent or at the most extreme, annoyed by the presence of Teachers, but he is the one to try to prompt a lesson from the Gilbert in episode 4, so I’m really not sure about his final position on the Teachers? Red is also by far the one who “looks into the camera like it’s the office” out of the 3 main puppets. (This could suggest he knows about the fourth wall, or hint at his escape in episode 6, though that is my take on the behavior)

His indifference changes across the episodes to something more like impatience or frustration. In episode 1 he may as well be an extra, 2: he questions Tony’s appearance, and mentions that him and the others are not interested in learning. He takes more of a backseat in 3, though decides with Duck not to go looking for Yellow after seeing him “flying through the sky”. 4 sees Red trying to stop the lesson at least twice: the first before being taken into the digital world as Colin is questioning the three, and the second time as the three are seemingly caught in the loop of digital dancing, graphs, and style. This guides Red to a white room not before seen in the house with an actor in a morphsuit, a crude puppet of Yellow, a duck, and a box of oats that appears to be a teacher. I think this scene is ambiguous on purpose, but looking at it from the surface does offer connection to the pilot (more on this soon). Finally, Red in the ‘real world’ as seen in episode 6 remembers his time in the house, at least the first lesson with Sketchbook, as he performs their song. This contributes to the continuity of the series staying intact.

Red in the pilot is very aware of his surroundings. He seems to follow the most “realistic” approach to the issue of the mayor going missing (as opposed to roundabout solutions of appointing a new mayor or finding someone to sing his part of the song). He finds clues to the mayor’s disappearance and eventually finds him himself. Red also grows annoyed with the Key and goes to follow his own solution to the mystery, similar to how he abandoned Colin’s lesson. We’ve seen this independent problem solving before in episode 6–Red attempts to use the control panel to aid Yellow and when that doesn’t work, ends up pulling the plug on the device. (Though I also wonder why Roy wouldn’t just kick Red out of the place and not let him pull the plug… Again, an essay for another time.)

Now let’s talk about parallel universes. Red is transported (or somehow inadvertently transfers himself) to another plane/universe/etc in the pilot after arguing that Mayor Pigface’s forest living fantasy isn’t realistic. This is in line with Red’s growing deviance from lessons and frustrations with those who will not listen to what he has to say. His head did not explode this time like it did in episode 4, though, and I saw no reference to Yellow or Duck. Part of me thinks this may be a callback to the scene at the end of episode 4 as a way to tie in a running conflict, though we can’t be sure of this until more episodes release. Either way, Red has traversed several realities throughout the series.

Red is a bit harder to track than the rest of the characters. His character is enigmatic in that it plays with the fourth wall (all while somehow managing to respect it?) in ways I haven’t seen before. He’s become much more involved than the sort of passive apathy that we see in the early episodes of the YouTube series, though a motivation for his involvement is still unclear. Ultimately, Red has grown involved and inquisitive in ways that may put him or others in danger. 

And Duck

(This is a bit more speculative than the other characters. I have a hard time pinning down his character, especially from the changes in the pilot)

Duck appears as a methodical, logical character in the YouTube Series. He goes by the books (or what he thinks they say), and it is his way or the high way when interacting with him. He shows a bit of his stubborn character even in episode 1, where he replies to Sketch’s question about the orange with “it’s just a boring old orange!”. In episode 2, Red comments that the show will be on soon, followed by Duck asserting that they don’t have enough time. 3 sees Duck preferring to finish the picnic he’d made as opposed to finding Yellow. In 4 he’s quick to argue with Yellow about his incorrect answers to the game they’re playing. He also goes along with the rules in the Digital World once they’re there, choosing to participate in style instead of spectating like the others. When Red disappears in episode 5, Duck does not play along with the lesson. He continuously mentions that “something’s wrong”. His brief appearance in 6 also has him questioning his sudden appearance.

Pilot Duck seemed a bit off to me, it’s because he’s much less logical and critical of his environment than he is in the youtube series. He goes right along with Key’s lesson and ‘guidance’ as he has done in previous lessons, but does little to question it. When he does question, Key must adapt and find some way to stop Duck from suspecting anything more. All of these attempts were successful. While I understand that the plot needed to advance the way it did in the pilot, forcing Duck to be more complacent than usual was noticeable to me. Paranoia was another large addition to his character that did not appear in the youtube series. Episode 5 sees Duck having his entrails eaten without so much as a peep while in the pilot he has a breakdown over the thought of townspeople talking down on him.

If we go by assuming continuity, something may have happened to Duck in episode 5-6 to cause this change. While we see where Red went (the ‘real world’) and see how this could have affected his character development, we don’t have a lot to go off of for Duck. Another way to look at this change in character could simply be seen as his adherence to rules starting to turn to neuroticism--as we see him distraught in episode 5 over something being wrong. 

Ultimately, I think we need to see more of Duck in future episodes to fully see how his character has changed, as he spends a majority of the pilot being manipulated by the Key. 

As for the rest of the teachers:

These will be my own thoughts. There’s not a lot to go off of in the pilot!

The teachers don’t have a lot of roundness to their characters. They exist to sing, harass the students, and return to their resting states. When we see them for a second time around in episode 6, they act the same as they did in their debut episodes. That being said, we could extrapolate a personality for them through what we’ve seen so far: 

Sketch: Sketch would probably be more polite than we’ve seen her, possibly even a bit bashful? She asks the students about what they’re leaning and if they want to participate in the lesson instead of dragging them along. She doesn’t seem too quick to anger when the students aren’t invested, unlike Tony or Key. Sketch jumps around in her lesson a lot too. When one thing isn’t connecting with the students, she switches to something else on a dime, so I think this could lend to her being a bit unpredictable at times. Think more like Howdy from The Puppets. She’s energetic and random, and doesn’t have much of a temper (though she can be stubborn when things aren’t going her way!)

Tony: Tony would probably come off as a bit of a know-it-all, but not the same flavor of Colin’s narcissism. He gets so upset with the students questioning his lesson that he appears to use a bit of his “powers/abilities” on them, so his temper would be short. He’d likely fall under the “grumpy old man trope” so maybe a little bit like Grady? That being said, Tony does get pretty excited when he talks about time so he’s not a character to remain emotionally flat.

Shrignold: there’s something to be said about the fact that he’s a butterfly. I’m trying to look at what the teachers would act like in a case where they weren’t teaching and Shrignold is a little hard to grasp because everything he does is related to the cult, save for a few moments during his song where he displays a bit more of his underlying personality. Shrignold is a social butterfly. He’d know everyone in town, especially what the gossip is. Shrignold is also patient in his song when Yellow doesn’t understand what love is, or when he’s trying to fit in with the rest of the group. I think I’d like to see Shrig’s character expanded upon most. For some reason, I find him the most difficult to characterize on the askblog.

Colin: I rewatched Episode 4 quite a few times to do the “look into the camera” chart so I have a lot of thoughts about him. The first thing that came to my mind is Colin’s aversion to touch being used for comic relief. That just feels like a no brainer if he were to return. Colin shows no real ill intent towards the Students in his episode. He’s inquisitive of what their habits are like, and is eager to show them to the digital world. This could either lend to him offering the Students completely backwards advice (though I don’t think his misinfo would be intentional) when they try to research something using him or possibly he’d try to fit into their antics in Clayhill and end up getting left behind or confused. He does seem to be one to follow his own rules and nobody else’s, so something he doesn’t expect would likely fluster him a great deal.

Healthy Band: I’m firmly in the camp that Healthy Band just has no idea what they’re saying in their lesson. Surprisingly enough they’re the only ones to reference actual ways to practice their subject (choosing foods that are plain vs fancy) but are completely backwards and often conflict themselves. In this way I think they’d make great return characters for the show: they’d think they have a clue as to what’s happening and offer completely wrong advice in response. They’d really try to be a resource for the students, but every time would backfire spectacularly. And the monster cans would just be the teachers that live in the pantry that you try not to make eye contact with when you need to get sugar for your tea in the mornings.

Lamp: Lamp is an agent of chaos. I don’t think he really had any structure for his lesson and just kinda went for it. He doesn’t listen to Yellow at all and continues his song even when Yellow’s completely checked out. He’d be the character who’s either acutely aware of what’s going on in Clayhill (and nobody listens to him) or who has absolutely no idea what’s happening even if the scenario is borderline apocalyptic. Either way, he’d take nothing seriously.

[rotationalsymmetry]

Mm. So, something came up for me on r/polyamory, which I've been kinda binging on recently, which is:

You know that thing where someone's in some sort of endless self-deprecation loop, and whoever's on the other end just gets done with it after a while and tells the complainer to go to therapy, so the complainer keeps complaining and goes no, I don't want to go to therapy, (string of transparently bullshit excuses), so the listener gets pissed off and resentful and sees the complainer as not trying to fix their own problems?

People just want to be heard and most people don't know how to do that. (Ironically, therapists generally do, but nobody wants to go to therapy when it's presented as "I don't care enough about you to listen to your feelings, go to a therapist instead.") Name their feelings. Name your feelings. Paraphrase. Set limits if you want -- do things like walk away or hang up the phone when they don't get respected. Say kind things, like "I care about you". Suggest distractions. Don't problem-solve unless the other person wants that. Agree with things you can honestly agree with. Say "that sucks" and things like that. Reach out first and reach out at predictable intervals, so they're not always chasing you down.

I've become something of a communication skills nerd, the therapy stuff like using "I" statements and paraphrasing, that stuff really works! It does! And once you start getting used to the idea you start realizing no one ever does it! People want to swoop in and fix things, they offer advice, they go off on tangents about their own life, they'll tell people they're doing everything wrong, literally anything other than naming feelings, paraphrasing, agreeing, or saying kind things. And then they feel like they've tried everything and nothing works, usually because they're trying to problem-solve when the other person wants to feel heard.

If you're the complainer, asking for those things and throwing in some "hey, I really appreciate you listening to me, it helps a lot" can go a long way. Also, naming your feelings.

Like yes, it's probably depression, sure, but also people have feelings and want to feel heard and you know what makes depression a lot worse? Having reason to believe that you can't just talk to someone you care about about your feelings and come away feeling heard and understood.