#if someone acts like an authority on something people will literally just grovel at their feet for approval

[vakarians-babe]

fandom attention span when it comes to BNFs being racist is literally shorter than that of a goldfish

[sugamamacustard]

Sweet little chick

 Pairing: Mafia boss! Alpha! Sugawara Koushi! X Omega! Reader

Genre: Fluff, Yandere

Request: N/A

Summary: The Karasuno Crows fell to the will of one person and one person alone. You were expected to do the same to the mama crow.

Warnings:  Slight/Yandere! Themes. Stockholm Syndrome, Collars, dresses, blood/core/ mafia compliant violence. 

Author’s Note:  An anon on my main blog (Shameless plug, it’s @angstyclowns​) sent me an amazing message and I took care of myself for once and now I’m super motivated! Also, I’m tried keeping this gender neutral, but reader does end up in a dress and thigh highs, so I’m sorry for that!

Requests: Open!

Disclaimer: I do not condone the acts below, please do not kidnap people you fancy and force them to stay against their will until they pull a beauty and the beast. Thanks for reading!

Sugawara Koushi

➵ You weren’t sure how long you had been there. 

➵ In fact, at this point you weren’t sure you cared. 

➵ You were respected here. People groveled on their knees at your feet for your favor, just to make you smile.

➵ Because if you liked them, your alpha was less likely to slit their throats. You were a direct link to getting in the alpha’s good graces.

➵ At first, you hated it. Hated the feeling of people begging you for their lives.

➵ And sometimes, sometimes late at night, you hated it now too. Hated how their screams still rung in your ears, begging and pleading for you to help.

➵ Most times, your alpha tried to keep you out of the bloody weeds of his business, but some times, when Noya or Hinata weren’t quick enough to stop a new guy who royally messed up from begging you to call off the hit.

➵  At that point, you had to hide in your nest, close your eyes and cover your ears until Suga came to comfort you.

➵ In the beginning you would smack him away, but now you craved his touch. His hugs, his purrs, his words of reassurance, anything he would give to you to settle your fears. 

➵ You weren’t sure why you pushed him away in the first place, as you were much better now. You were getting help after the untimely death of your parents (Car accident), you had friends (Suga allowed you to keep company with some of the other crows’ omegas), and everything you wanted at the snap of your fingers.

➵ You were perfectly content with life as it was. 

➵ But that didn’t mean you didn’t have your own rules to follow. 

➵ Your alpha had several rules to follow, especially because of the role he played. 

➵ When he had meetings with Fukorodani or Nekoma, you were to sit on his lap, in whatever tight little number you were gifted that day, and stay quiet. Occasionally, Daichi (Who ran Karasuno along side Suga) would bring his own omega and you two would be allowed to talk quietly among yourselves or play Animal crossing together. 

➵ If you had a concern or comment, you would whisper it to Koushi, who would either allow you to share or re-word it himself.

➵ The other leaders thought you were the second cutest thing in their worlds (Their own omegas holding first. But you were reminded them of their own omegas they left at home) and always listened when you spoke, treating you like a valid member of the Karasuno crew.

➵ Which you were. 

➵ But not in the same sense as everyone else. You were more-or-less an innocent bystander that held the title. 

➵ Under no circumstances however, were you allowed to talk to someone that wasn’t approved by Koushi. Kuroo, Bokuto, Oikawa (Read, Iwaizumi), even Ushijima were all approved, their omegas too, but no one else. 

➵ They understood this, growling at their guards and anyone else they brought for a meeting to stay away. 

➵ But unfortunately, not all people took the gracious warnings they provided. 

➵ The day started off like it normally did, with Suga waking up far earlier than you cared to know. 

➵ He pecked your lips while you groggily watched him get ready, button his shirt while you sat up to run your hands through his hair.

➵ “Do you have to leave so early, Koushi?” You whined, pulling him down once more to hug him tightly. He chuckled in your ear, pecking your cheek before prying you off. 

➵ “Unfortunately I do, sweet thing. But I promise, I’ll back to pick you up for the meeting later.”  A final kiss was pressed to your lips before your alpha was off, tightening his tie on the way out and slinging on his suit jacket.

➵ Predictably so, you went back to bed, sleeping until a knock on the door woke you up. 

➵ Hinata walked in slowly, beaming down at you brightly before setting down a silver and gold box and walking back out, closing the door behind him. You liked Hinata. He seemed to have a second sense to when you wanted to talk or when you just wanted your alpha.

➵ His omega was lucky. 

➵ But you were more lucky. You got to see your alpha soon, since he always had your dresses delivered in the time frame that allowed you to get ready right before Suga would show up to pick you up

➵ So you shakily got up, stretching and yawning before picking  up the box and sliding off the top. The dress inside was a velvet black up until the bodess, which was a sweetheart neckline. From there, a mesh overcoat covering your shoulders and arms hooked around your neck. It was beautiful. 

➵ So you slipped it on quickly, styling your hair with dry shampoo and whatever else you deemed appropriate and slipping some black thigh highs to match  before clipping on the final accessory

➵ It was a pristine white collar that buckled around your neck, with a small white bell and a hanging heart charm that simply said your name. It wasn’t as extravagant as the other omegas’ collars, but it suited Suga-- who, in a way, owned you. 

➵ Like clockwork. the moment you finished tightening the collar your alpha was knocking on the door, opening it soon after and smiling at you. 

➵ He was in a different suit then what he left in and his knuckles were wrapped, but you didn’t want to question it. 

➵ “Ready to go?” 

➵ You nodded excitedly, hooking your arm with his and making your way out of the room. He grabbed your switch (Which he had gifted you, custom with your favorite colored joycons) on the way out, soon leading you to the ‘meeting room’. 

➵ Daichi and Kuroo both smiled from their conversation when you two finally made your entrance, nodding in your direction. 

➵ Suga sat in his chair, allowing you to sit in his lap right after before passing you the gaming console and starting the meeting. (Kuroo and Daichi said something about how lucky Suga was that you were ‘ready’ whatever that meant)

➵ You didn’t care to listen, probably for the better, only playing animal crossing with small hums leaving you. 

➵ Twenty minutes in and all was fine with minimal disagreement on whatever was going on. At least, minimal trouble for the alphas.

➵ You felt a sense of unease set over you while you were playing a while ago but hoped it would just disappear. 

➵ But it never did. 

➵ You looked up to see Suga completely enveloped in the conversation with Kuroo and Daichi, so it wasn’t him, nor the other two alphas. 

➵ Looking around, you noted it wasn’t any of the Karasuno crows that were in there. 

➵ All the usual people Kuroo brought with him were focusing on the void. 

➵ All but one. You had never seen him before but he looked slimy from here. Even Lev (One of Kuroo’s bodyguards that got along with literally everyone, including you) was standing far away from him.

➵ His hair was greasy and blue. A gross as blue that looked like he tried to go for silver but failed. 

➵ It was disgusting to you and he was staring directly at you. Who tf was this guy???

➵  You mindlessly nuzzled back into Suga’s arms, which made him falter and look down at you before going back to the conversation (A land deal?) 

➵ But the feeling never faltered. 

➵ You had tried getting up to go the bathroom once during the meeting but the feeling at you sitting right back down, trying so hard to focus on your game. Your scent was burnt slightly, which set Suga on edge, but what made it even worse was when the boy- smelled like beta- offered to take you off of Suga’s hands for the meeting. 

➵ “A frail thing like her shouldn’t be in the company of such vile conversation topics, yeah?” 

➵ “We’re talking about land, what about that is vile?” Suga sneered, switching from looking at you to the man. He could tell you were off the moment you burrowed into him.

➵ There weren’t any excited giggles coming from you if you discovered something new. No squeals of joy when you finally, finally caught that fish you had been trying to catch for however long. Nothing. Silence and tense muscles.

➵ He had been trying to figure out what was wrong with you the entire time until it suddenly clicked. 

➵ The male spoke and you were grabbing his shirt like a lifeline.

➵ It was him. 

➵ This beta was making his omega uncomfortable. 

➵  Kuroo and Daichi picked up on this fairly quickly, Kuroo already apologizing to Daichi before looking to the Beta. 

➵ Suga didn’t hear what they said, but he felt Daichi pushing you and him out of the room. A silent promise in his eyes.

➵ He picked you up effortlessly, taking you to your room and setting you in your nest and scenting you excessively

➵ You whimpered and allowed him to do so, the switch being discarded somewhere. 

➵ Suga held you to his chest for hours after that, silently planning  ever terrible thing he would unleash unto the unsuspecting beta. 

➵ there was nothing in the world Suga wouldn’t do for you. 

➵ He killed for you once and he’d do it again over and over again.

➵ Whether it be faking a car accident or disposing of trash, keeping eyes on you with specially planted agents, Suga was willing to do everything for you. 

➵ And he certainly had the means to do so.

[bigskydreaming]

If you were editor of Nightwing's book ever since at least the start of Rebirth to today and you were given free reign, what would your story mandates?

Oh no, this is dangerous. LOL. Hmm, I have no idea what to shoot for here, so I'll try to keep it to ten. That's reasonable right? Ten is good. Yeah. Is fine.

Okay, so, in no particular order:

1) Let Dick be competent 101. None of this him having to play hype man for every other character to pop up in HIS title bullshit. Nope. That's not what they're there for. He's the lead man, LET HIM BE THE LEADING MAN. Like sure, everyone has their areas of expertise, he doesn't need or have to be the best at everything, blah blah blah.....but its about the nuance. All of that is kinda lip service because the thing is, you don't go into MOST comic books and NEED to be reminded of that because the lead characters of those books are all constantly getting saved or shown up or chastised by every guest star in their books, you know? This is a very weird, very niche phenomenon very specific to Dick's character, and I'm super over it. I'm here to read about the guy who has literally been doing this longer than most superheroes twice his age. The guy who's been doing this since before he hit double digits. The born acrobat. The destined ultimate warrior or whatever of Gotham's Ornithological Society Of Murder and Pretentiousness. Gimme that guy. And that guy doesn't need to be 'humbled' every other page, because the thing is, he's not some egomaniac to begin with so the everpresent need to humble him doesn't actually come off as humbling! It just comes off as pandering and not even to actual fans of the actual character, so its like.....wyd DC.

2) Let other people take responsibility for their own crap with Dick rather than always just expecting a mea culpa from him. I'm so unbelievably tired of the words I'm sorry from Dick. I love personal accountability, so I never thought I'd have to say this about a character, but enoooooough. They have made it completely in character for this dude to apologize to everyone ELSE for being brainwashed, getting amnesia, being KILLED, like.....the amount of things he's groveled for forgiveness for when he didn't actually do a damn thing wrong or worse yet, was the ACTUAL victim of is like....pretty damn staggering. And meanwhile, there's nary a peep of apology from the people who regularly insult or belittle him, get physically violent with him, take advantage of him or take him for granted, etc, etc, etc. Its entirely too one-sided and imbalanced, and the pendulum needs to swing the other direction, like YESTERDAY, and in a fairly big way, IMO.

3) None of this Baby's First Social Justice Awakening 101 crap. I'm sorry, but no. Especially not when you go out of your way to acknowledge that Dick is Romani, only to then turn around and act like he's only JUST had his eyes opened to an awareness of like, classism and poverty and the real struggles people face day to day? Sorry not sorry, but especially for other white writers out there, do not use people of color as self-inserts for dipping a toe into Learning To See Past Privilege. And especially when talking about a character who has a history of being actively abused and hurt by the system and institutions of power, or hell, even leaving out that particular origin story, who has still been out on the streets helping people since he was a literal child. You can not tell me that this is his first face to face experience with social issues, or the first time he's had the inclination to try and address those head on. (And its also particularly egregious that the people second-guessing Dick in his own title and giving him reality checks or acting like they have more of an awareness of all this than he does like, happen to all be white? OPTICS. LEARN ABOUT THEM. COMMON SENSE. GET SOME.)

Know what would actually be a better way to approach this? Flashbacks. Show us Dick running into situations that make him think back to a case when he was still Robin, when he and Batman had started fighting over their approaches to things, actually SHOW us those conflicts and how their viewpoints had started diverging, and how much of that was due to Dick not having the same experiences as Bruce, or the same standing in society, no matter what house he lived in. THEN you can jump BACK to the present, with the reminder/awareness that this is something that isn't NEWS to Dick, but that he in the past felt he was forced to make his peace with as something he wasn't in a position to do that much about....only NOW, he's in a very DIFFERENT position, and suddenly it just hits him how he's still acting like he did when he was limited in resources or in having to be part of a chain in command or having to factor other responsibilities into things....now he ACTUALLY has the power and the resources to make meaningful change in the ways he ALWAYS wanted to, but maybe just needed time to figure out HOW.

Like you know what would have made Shawn Tsang's story arc so much better? If Dick didn't just remember her as the Pigeon's one time teenage sidekick he'd briefly fought as a kid, but like.....if he remembered her as someone he and Bruce had FOUGHT about. Because he didn't agree with sending someone to juvie for defacing public property as a form of political protest, when it was someone's LIFE who was going to be irrevocably damaged by that while the damage to the city could be fixed with a check, and what made Dick any more deserving of Bruce's leniency and faith in his potential or underlying goodness than Shawn?

But he was still a kid himself back then, and when Bruce responded with his usual conviction, talking about the importance about rule of law and etc etc, Dick just didn't have the words to get through to him then, to get him to understand that this wasn't just Dick not getting it because he was too young, it was BRUCE not getting it, that Dick was literally just saying well he wasn't too young to have been in juvie himself, and of the two of them, he's the one who has experience there so why was Bruce's opinion on whether this was the punishment that fit the crime the one that got to hold more weight here? When Dick's the one who knows what that punishment actually LOOKS like beyond the abstract, for whom it was a reality that still haunts him in ways that even defacing a few statues of some rich old fucks doesn't deserve?

Or hell, go back FURTHER than when he was Robin. Idk where any of those posts are, but I've always wanted to see something where Dick maybe runs into someone he remembers from his time in juvie, maybe a guard who is like, the source of the reasons Dick mistrusts figures of authority and is so hung up on independence and not being under anyone's thumb, or maybe someone who was in there with him, another kid who looked out for him when he didn't have to, etc. Gimme Dick tackling head-on his firsthand awareness that there's no rehabilitation to be found in a jail for kids, when most of those kids don't even need rehabilitation in the first place and only did what they did in order to survive or escape from worse situations or like, were there purely because of racist cops, etc. Let him go after THAT system, driven by personal experiences and memories that maybe only hit him in full after recovering his memories from the Ric Grayson arc, like they're things that he put in a box in his mind a long, long time ago because he didn't have the spoons or reserves to deal with them when he was a kid still so traumatized in so many ways, like, something had to give and so he put all those memories away for another day and just....never got back to them because life kept hitting him with new and fresh trauma every week.

But now something has him thinking back to those early days in Gotham, and reminding him that not everyone had a Bruce Wayne willing and able to give them an out from that place or acrobatic skills to escape it on their own, and like. You want to do something about the cycles of violence in Gotham and Bludhaven? Why not start with the places that literally MANUFACTURE cruelty on an institutional level, that teach kids that no matter what they did to get put there, even if that was nothing at all, they're all going to be treated the same way and given no reason NOT to do whatever it took to be top dog in a dog eat dog world by the time they got out.

There's SO many better approaches to social awareness in the Batbooks than what we're seeing, and like. Sheesh. The bar is way too low.

4) On a related note, if I'm editor of the Nightwing book, the FIRST thing I'm doing is making it a priority to find a writer of color for that book, ideally someone of Rom descent. Its waaaaay past time to let a Romani writer take the reins on Dick, Wanda, Pietro or Doom, aka some of the only prominent Romani characters out there? You can't tell me that there aren't talented writers who identify as Roma who would be more than willing to add their perspective to Dick's archive of narratives, and if an editor's gotta go looking for them? Go fucking look. DC and its fans have milked a lot of mileage out of the idea of Dick being Romani with very little in the way of nuanced storytelling to show for it in the past twenty years, and if DC wants to trot out little reminders that Dick is Romani every couple years, like in the form of a freaking line that has no follow up or expansion to any degree and is offset by an internal monologue that otherwise reads as incredibly privileged, the least they can do is TRY to expand on that with the narrative perspective of someone they claim to be representing via that character.

And no, this isn't gatekeeping, this is prioritizing. Its not about preventing other writers from writing this character, like just for the hell of it, its about being proactive about finding a writer who can write specific aspects of this character that have long gone unaddressed or poorly represented. And like. Okay. Its not easy breaking into the comics industry for anyone, but its particularly not easy for marginalized writers. Most every major comic book company just recites 'make your own stuff first and then show us that' but when you're a writer specifically, finding a compatible artist to partner with on creator-owned indie stuff first, when those artists are in the same position as you are and apologetically and understandably tend to have to take paying work over yours if you can't pay except on the back end, like....there are a lot of hurdles to getting your start in comic books, and while there are more and more marginalized writers in comics these days, DC and Marvel kinda fucked up, because you know what?

After being told 'make your own first, then we'll talk,' writers DID do just that....but then found out that well, due to the ease of online distribution and access these days, for any writers who CAN find an artist to partner with, its a hell of a lot easier to get their content out there these days WITHOUT a major publisher behind them.....and for a lot of marginalized writers in particular, its worth it to keep full creative control in exchange for smaller circulation. Especially when they don't have to deal with editors 'softening' their work to make it more palatable for audiences that quite frankly aren't necessarily their primary target. So yeah, marginalized voices are becoming more and more present in comics, but Marvel and DC for the most part are keeping the same voices centered they always have, and what these voices have to say is becoming less and less relevant and outdated. Because much like this arc from Taylor, even when they DO dip their toes into story matter that's of interest to wider audiences, they're doing so to a degree that still puts them years behind the conversations everyone else is having.

5) The same holds true of disability representation. I stopped reading Taylor's run for a lot of reasons but his way of responding to people unhappy with his depiction of Babs was a key one. If I'm editor on a book, and someone tweets at one of my writers that their depiction of a disabled character was hurtful because it feels like they're doubling back on everything Babs has ever said about not being defined by or ashamed of her disability and now its being treated like a dirty little secret, and that writer's response is essentially to just laugh at them and say there's nothing wrong or ableist about their writing of a disabled person, TO a concerned disabled person? That writer's ass is getting fired. Full stop.

Either you give a shit about this stuff or you don't. Don't pay your readers lip service about how important social issues are to you and how much you care about using superhero narratives to inspire people on these matters if you're gonna turn around and show your ass the second you don't feel comfortable and prioritized by the conversation, like it wouldn't exist without your oh so valuable contributions. ESPECIALLY if you don't identify as sharing the same identity of the marginalized character you're writing. You are a guest in someone else's lived experiences at that point, and you think you've got the right to belittle and talk down to the people who LIVE THERE? Fuck off, my dude.

6) Re-center Dick as someone who the superhero community RESPECTS. I love seeing Dick depicted as someone who has an awareness of his own limitations and an appreciation for what others bring to the table, and so I'm not opposed to him calling on others when he needs to.....but I also would like to see more of the opposite. But not in the way we usually see it these days, where he's asked to come help with a crisis and then usually second-guessed the whole way, and then sent back home without so much as a thank you when its done. Yawn. Sorry. I've read that story by now.

You know what story arc I freaking LOVED as a kid, back in the 90s? In Green Lantern, when Kyle Rayner first became the sole GL, one of his very early arcs, before he ever joined the JLA or anything....was him realizing how little he knew about being a superhero. He was like, my predecessors all had a full fledged CORPS to teach them everything they needed to know, but I had a few lines of exposition from a funny little blue guy in a red pillowcase and then I was off to the races. That's not good enough. There's so much I don't know about being a hero, I don't even KNOW what I still need to know.

So he went on kinda a superhero training roadtrip. He went to Metropolis to ask Superman for advice, he went to Batman to learn from Batman and Robin (Tim at the time). He went to Wonder Woman, Sentinel (Alan Scott, the first Green Lantern), etc, etc. And in the end, Kyle very much became his own kind of hero who wasn't just a pastiche of all those other heroes and the advice they gave him, but like....this put him on the road to that.

And I'd love to see something like that happen in Dick's solo title. We've seen him train in a team setting, we've seen him train the other Robins.....I'd love to see like, young superheroes from OTHER books, not ones created by the title, but like names people actually recognize from other franchises, like, guest star in Nightwing's book to learn from HIM, specifically. I wanna see something where Wally looks at the latest speedster and is like, you know what, if you really wanna be the best hero you can possibly be, then Nightwing's who you gotta go to, because there's no one I trust to make a better hero out of someone than him. I want the newest kid on the JLA block to worry that people aren't taking him seriously because of his age or experience, and he's always hearing them talk about Nightwing and how young he was when he started and so if anyone knows something about how to gain the respect of your older superhero peers, that's the guy to talk to.

Gimme Dick's couch being crashed on at various times by a half dozen new or upcoming young superheroes who all heard or figured out that if they really want to up their superhero game, Nightwing's the guy to see.

7) Bring back Bea. There's no long paragraph expansion on this, its really simply. Bring back Bea. She was one of the freshest breaths of air in Dick's supporting cast in ages, most of the current run is based off her character direction in the first place, she's literally the best suited TO help Dick in this venture, and the reasons they gave for writing her out of Dick's life were all bullshit and they just wanted to focus on his previous relationships, which would be fine if they didn't fall into the same two endless cycles of bring back up, go nowhere with, awkwardly avoid each other for years, rinse and repeat. Like. Bring back Bea, please and thank you, the end.

8) Focus on new villains. Heartless is meh, but the idea of new villains is still better IMO than rehashing Blockbuster, Zucco, etc. Like, nostaglia ain't it. If I want to read Blockbuster fucking up Dick's life, I can do that. They're called back issues. The thing is, love it or hate it, the Blockbuster arc WAS iconic. It left its mark. And anything that doesn't leave just as much of a mark, if they're going to bring him up again, is just gonna be a waste of time, you know? It'll just dilute his overall presence when like, what he was - worked fine as is. We don't need Round Two.

The trick to good villains, IMO, is they have to speak to a fight that needs fighting.

What I mean by that is....the best villains are those who resonate on a more instinctive level because they embody something that already exists in a reader's mind as a conflict that needs fighting. Like, if superheroes exist, if the embodiment of larger than life presences and forces devoted to protecting the world from various things are real....then their villains need to embody the kinds of fights or conflicts that NEED larger than life figures to combat them, at least on a one to one level.

Look at Superman and Lex Luthor. Superman at his core embodies the strength of community. He's the ultimate hero of the people, his essence is that he was the last survivor of a doomed race who was raised by two honest, hard working people to see the beauty in just being ONE of them, in using what he had on behalf of all of them and not just himself. In contrast, Lex Luthor is basically the embodiment of capitalist greed, of excess, of the entitlement of being able to have anything with a snap of your fingers and thus assuming that gives you divine mandate to make the kinds of choices that he sees as only his right to make.

He hates Superman, ultimately, because Superman is the WRONG savior of the people. He wants their only savior to be HIM, half the time he honestly believes he's saving the world FROM Superman, but just as often he's perfectly content to be the villain and not shy about it....because Lex Luthor's ultimate motivation is he wants everyone to know when he's dead and gone that LEX LUTHOR WAS HERE. He genuinely doesn't care WHAT his impact or legacy is at the end of the day, just that it exists and it overshadows most everything else...because all that really matters to him is the irrefutable proof that HE mattered. And thus at their cores, Superman and Lex are perfectly opposed. Ideally situated to eternally be in conflict, their own forever war, because their core natures are incompatible. They CAN'T compromise, without compromising themselves and essentially ending up as someone totally other than who and what they are already.

And you can go down the list. The Joker is the chaos to Batman's order, while Mr. Freeze is the stagnancy of that order taken too far, he's what you get when you freeze everything in your grief and refuse to let anything go on, anything new grow, because that would mean having to admit once and for all that what you're mourning is really gone. Two-Face is the ultimate embodiment of Man vs Self, a once good man at war with his own worse nature, and reminding everyone who looks at him how easily they could fall to the same fate.

And so on and so on. What Dick needs, is more of the same. Like, as much as I'm not a huge fan of Talon stories, I maintain that the Court of Owls were a great foil for him - just they tend to be poorly used in canon as well. But I also think how poorly they come off in canon has a lot to do with canon not really touching on WHY they're such a perfect foil for Dick....and that's Dick's history with being outside the system, mistreated and even exploited by the system. Because the Court, their core concept, is they ARE the system. They are entrenched, enfranchised, institutional power, passed down through generations, dynastic control that is a perfect counterpart to the dynastic power of the Wayne family, embodied in its youngest generation in the form of Bruce's FOUND family, the children he adopted regardless of whether or not his peers found them deserving of that honor. The Court, and their entire....thing...about the Gray Son, is the entitled fury of those denied something they deem theirs simply because they WANT it, and who will burn the whole world down rather than admit defeat or let someone else have it instead.

And that resonates. It could resonate a lot MORE if DC would actually lean into those concepts and allow Dick to explore how the Court are nothing he's not used to, they're literally made up of the same people who have looked down on him ever since he came to Gotham, but now they're actually a face and a name put to all those attitudes, something he can literally FIGHT BACK AGAINST. The Court are literally human-sized embodiments of everything and everyone who's tried to confine Dick since his parents' deaths, tried to define him without his permission, tried to make him other or lesser than who and what he is.....and who thus now exist in a form that Dick can literally BATTLE. So that he doesn't HAVE to just take this stuff lying down.

Thanks to the Court, he doesn't HAVE to just passively accept it, that this is just how life is, that some people are going to view him this way and think this about him and there's nothing he can do about it. He CAN do something about it, in superhero stories. He can kick its ASS, in the form of the Court of Owls and everything its members think about him and intend for him. He can refuse to bow down to them, to accept their mark on him. He can say lol, no, and then blow their shit sky high, ideally with a little help from his family. He can BEAT them, in this incarnated form, and in doing so, even though he can't beat everything they stand for and represent, that victory still matters, still means something symbolic to readers it resonates with.

And that's what we need more of. Villains created specifically to embody concepts that are diametrically opposed to Dick and what he represents. The system, yes, but also villains who embody the kind of tyranny and control he fights back against in his constant battles for autonomy and self control. Villains who embody the 'new hopes' of a second generation just like Dick himself is the focal point of the hopes embodied by the second generation of heroes. I'm actually not the hugest fan of multiversal constant Dick Grayson, but I might like it more if he had an opposite number there, someone he was specifically contrasted with. Idk.

But you get it.

9) Dick having a social life. Gimme the Titans and his siblings showing up JUST to show up. We have room enough for at least a couple pages every other issue where we just get to see these characters having some breathing room, taking a beat to stop and be something other than just a superhero, to be human as well. There's more to life than 24/7 fighting, even for them, and that's largely been lost in modern superhero comics, which kinda sucks, because that was what made most of the more iconic and lasting dynamics between various characters like, STAND the test of time. The larger than life battles between good and evil might be what many of us come to superhero comics FOR, but the relatable back-and-forths and ups and downs of their private lives spent with friends and family tends to be what keeps most of us coming BACK. And lately its all just mission, mission, mission, and I'm like blah, blah, blah and its like, meh, meh, meh. Y'know? Give the guy some down time, and let his friends come spend it with him.

10) Boone. This is purely self-indulgent, but if you know anything about me, you know my obsession with Robin: Year One, Dick's brief time at Vengeance Academy, and the hate/hate relationship he has with his brief frenemy from that period, Boone aka Shrike. This character has SOOOOO much potential to be Dick's true archnemesis and rival, and like. *Sobs* I can't get into it all again. Its too much. I can't do it.

Okay, I absolutely can. And will, probably. But like. Later.

BONUS ROUND:

Other thing I would absolutely insist upon if I were Nightwing editor....

GET THAT FUCKING MEME SHIRT ABOUT BRUCE SLAPPING DICK THE FUCK OUTTA HERE.

Like. Seriously. WHAT THE HELL. Why would you double down on THAT? Why is Babs STILL wearing it? (Last I checked, like I think I saw it in a scan from last issue? I'm pretty sure its still there? If not, forget this entire rant, and I am very embarrassed. Okay not that embarrassed. I don't really care if I'm wrong here but like, in case I'm not)...

WHY. Who thought that was funny? No, seriously, on behalf of any other abuse survivors who like me are SERIOUSLY not amused, who the FUCK thinks its FUNNY to have one of Dick's best friends sporting a shirt that no matter what it represents IN universe, to readers OUT of universe, is always going to call to mind the fact that this meme only freaking EXISTS because of all the times DC has obliviously and without acknowledgment written Bruce abusing his children, including the BFF that Babs is literally wearing that right in front of.

Like omg do you hate her, DC? What other possible reason could you have for thinking that would be a cute, funny thing for her to wear around the guy getting SLAPPED, by his DAD, in your shirt's iconography.

Okay I'm done.

LOL.

Sorry, that last one was brewing for awhile. Deep breaths. Woo.

[shinebrightlikeanarwhal]

Pls do more ABO shenanigans involving Travis I'm begging you

Also, I feel that on the delivery day the moment someone told Travis to calm down (maybe the intention was even good but eh) he was like "tell me to calm down one more time, I dare you, and by the end of the day you'll need more stitches than me"

I like to think he thinks more before he acts at this point of his life but that just wasn't the right time

Ask and you shall receive~

Travis was the fussiest lil omega in history. He literally robbed any alphas and betas that he liked to put their stuff in his nest. Larry having to convince Travis to let him set up a nest in the treehouse where Kenneth can’t rip up anything.

He likes his scent the most, because confidence and self love baby, and makes sure to scent mark everyone. Heck even ash couldn’t put up a fight when he sat on her and just rubbed his peaches and vanilla scent all over her. (Larry and Sal were foaming at the mouth in jealousy when Philip flaunted about as the first one marked.)

His heats are disastrous. He has the similar symptoms of a painful period. He’s always forced to go to school because of it but thankfully the school nurse wasn’t under Kenneth’s control, so she let him hide out in her office. (No one messes with the nurse as she’s an omega who mothers all the children and has fought the teacher previously. Plus her husband is a very powerful man. They don’t want her to take things to court over child safety. She WILL win.

Travis was a late bloomer. While everyone else presented he prides himself in being a Beta, even though some people tried to tease him about being broken. Larry did once and immediately regret it when a wave of sadness just hit him like a truck. He didn’t expect it and he definitely didn’t anticipate being completely avoided and ignored. Even Philip glared at him a couple of times. Making it pretty evident he said something bad.

Travis, a thot, has indeed made it a game to see how many alphas he could flirt with before his came to get him. (The answer was 0, he didn’t even get to say hi before Larry snatched him up and carried him away.)

Travis was a vicious laborer. Every baby one of the boys had a broken hand if not arm. Larry most definitely because he kept saying stupid shit. “It’s okay baby, just relax” “A BABY IS COMING OUT OF ME! There’s no FUCKING RELAXING LARRY!” Sal only had one twisted wrist because Travis kept wriggling for comfort and he touched it out like a champ. Wanting his poor baby to be happy.

Travis is spoiled rotten. A princess even. No authority but full attention. (He doesn’t need to have authority those simps would bark if he asked them too). Anything he wants he gets. Especially when he’s waddling around and plump with a baby. They are at his feet and groveling to him. (Boosting his ego ten-fold)

He is never fully dressed and never plans to change. Sal has had to beat Larry away from Travis with a stick when they started living together. Over sized shirts and robes were travis’ best friend and it remained that way for a long time. Even when he was pregnant he never wore pants in the house. They’d be lucky if the shirt covered his ass, he would be in comfort and comfort only. Belly be damned!

After each baby Travis is very strict with his body. Sal and Larry try to talk him out of it, but they too got dragged into his diet and exercise plan. Especially when Larry started to get a beer belly. Although Travis did enjoy taking naps on the soft tummy. Like a cat he would curl up on them and fall asleep easily if they had soft fat or muscle available.

Sal introducing Travis to Henry. Travis just gingerly poking Henry and turning to sal. “You sure he’s awake? He looks like my dad after tiring himself out hitting me.” Henry is both concerned and hurt. One) his sons partner is getting hit!? Two) HE LOOKS LIKE AN exhausted abUSER!?

Larry introducing Lisa and Travis. Travis immediately apologizing for fighting with Larry so much and being mean. Lisa just laughs and pats him on the head. Travis cries and snuggles between the two Johnson’s and makes himself at him in their lil apartment. He has his own lil nest on Larry’s room and gets beat up if any mess disrupts the nest. Travis will know.

Travis is a Cupcakke girl. You can’t tell me that when he’s feeling spicy he doesn’t put her on speaker and shake his ass. Lmao, imagine Larry gets on his nerves and all Sal hears blaring from the TV is “his dick smaller than my toes” and then Those two running around the living room since Travis knows better than to get caught by Larry-

[captain-sodapop]

With Hamilton coming out on Disney+ today and the Fourth of July tomorrow, and then with the current climate of things, I’m going to say something as someone who doesn’t think the all-or-nothing approach is always appropriate, so here it goes:

The founders have a complicated legacy.

They were, undoubtedly, problematic men. All fifty-six signers of the Declaration of Independence were land-holding white men, many of whom were slaveholders or took part in the slave trade in some way, not to mention the other bigoted views of that time (which, are not consigned only to that time, obviously. The same prejudices they held still exist today - even thrive - and we have a lot of work to do to undo these systems of oppression and bigotry.) These guys aren’t their characters in any play, or perfect human beings.

Thing is, though - a sometimes very frustrating thing, I know - is that these deeply flawed men gave us this slow-work-in-progress of a country that almost nobody seems to want to give up on. It is an ongoing experiment, a growing and changing thing. We continue to use the basic principles they set up to try and make it a better place. We rely daily on the first amendment to get the necessary work done to make such progress; hell, I’ve recently seen the third amendment used for the first time in how long? Something we thought was so antiquated was now used to get the national guard out of Washington DC. Our Constitution was made amendable from the very start because its authors were aware of the fact that as the nation grew and changed, its laws and constitution would inevitably change as well, whether they liked it or not. While our democratic system is due for some serious work, the great thing is that we can absolutely make changes and still keep many of the things that do work (and yes, there are things about it that work.)

Writing the Declaration of Independence was an act of treason; if the colonies had lost the war, the signers would have been executed, and we would have no country. The Constitution is the first modern system of government to be born of thought and debate, not violence and war. Americans cherish our right to vote, and many are fighting every day to expand that to as many people as possible so we can all exercise our right to voice our opinion (in a way that is hopefully more direct someday.) We are promised life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness, and in this day and age, that promise extends to EVERYBODY. It might not have when it was written, but those guys aren’t around anymore to tell us it can’t.

But they still wrote it. Thomas Jefferson, for whatever reason, changed the enlightenment phrase from “property” to “happiness.” He still wrote that we are all created equal (yes, I get the irony, roll with me here for a second) and we all have the right to live, to be free, to be happy. Where else do you find something like that? Seriously - the right to happiness. That’s sort of a beautiful thing. And thanks to those assholes and their miracles at Philadelphia, we have many of the tools we need to make that a reality for every person in this country. It’s a pisser that it has been an uphill battle for nearly 250 years, but things that once seemed impossible have been achieved, and we can’t stop until the full promise of life, liberty, and happiness for all is obtained. Failure was not an option then, when the founders wanted to establish a country separate from Britain, and it is not an option now, as we use the tools they gave us - old and new - to make the country they established a more just and equal place for everyone in it.

This was not written in an attempt to get you to grovel at the founders’ feet or feel like you have to like them because you absolutely don’t. However: for as problematic as they were, they did some important, groundbreaking, literally revolutionary shit, and we cannot ignore that. That is what Hamilton captures so well - think of the line “this is not a moment, it’s a movement.” That perfectly describes what was happening then and what is happening now. You don’t need to admire these men as people, but you do have to remember that they promised happiness, and risked everything for it. I get that this is frustrating, and that it would be so much simpler to write them off as villains of history, but their contributions cannot go ignored. The system they built has lasted - somehow - for nearly 250 years. We are still infants, with so much work to do but still having come so far.

So, in short: please do not write Thomas Jefferson x Reader smut, but remember that he promised you happiness, and do everything you can to make sure EVERYBODY gets that to spite him. The most patriotic thing you can do this Independence Day is to fight those abusing our systems of power and work to give everyone a voice, to give them justice, to give them happiness. THAT is in keeping with the patriotic spirit of this country - not drinking beer and blaring country music while you stick a firecracker up your ass.

[that-curly-haired-lesbian]

The Seven Husbands Of Evelyn Hugo + Taylor Swift: a master post - Part 5/6

Hi guys, welcome to part 5 of my masterpost regarding parallels between Taylor Swift and Evelyn Hugo, the fictional actress from the book The Seven Husbands Of Evelyn Hugo by author Taylor Jenkins Reid!

Before proceeding please be aware that there will be 

**MAJOR SPOILERS**

for the book ahead and please also read my disclaimer!

It’s very important that you read these in order so if you haven’t yet go ahead and check out the previous part right here, thank you and enjoy!

“And then she calmly, confidently took my hand. I bristled, unsure if we should be touching in public, scared of what people would do.  But the rest of the people on the street just kept on walking, kept on living their lives, almost entirely unaware or uninterested in the two famous women holding hands on the sidewalk.” (Pg. 234)

Admittedly not holding hands here, but this was actually the first thing that came into my head when I read the scene above…Here are some actual pictures of the girls holding hands in public though:

--

  “We went out to dinner in public, the four of us looking like two pairs of     heterosexuals, without a heterosexual in the bunch.” (Pg. 234)

This is once again Evelyn talking about their foursome of beards during the New York years and I believe this is something akin to what Taylor and Karlie were hoping to have with Josh and Joe/Tom (or whoever Taylor was meant to beard with long-term) pre-election disaster, hence that retrospectively embarrassing pap walk of Josh with Austin as a way to try and integrate Josh into to Taylor’s social circle so that her, her beard and Karlie and Josh could become “America’s favorite double daters” (as Evelyn describes it)

Obviously with the election turning out as it did Team Swift quickly reworked the plan.

--

Pages 234-238 is Evelyn talking of the Stonewall riots and how she remembers those days and there are specific parts of it that are interesting from a Gaylor/Kaylor point of view.

“Harry and I campaigned for Bobby Kennedy. Celia posed with Vietnam protesters on the cover of ‘Effect’. John was a vocal supporter of the civil rights movement and I had been a very public supporter of the work of Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.” (x) (x)

“This was our people. And here they were, revolting against the police, in the name of their right to be themselves. While I was sitting in a golden prison of my own making.”

Gold cage, hostage to my feelings (x)

Evelyn, Celia, Harry and John discuss going to participate in the Stonewall riots, wishing they could be a part of this, of fighting for their own people, but ultimately Harry explains why they can’t best when he says:

  “We go down there all we do is attract attention away from the cause and       towards us. The story becomes about whether we are homosexuals and not   about the rights of homosexuals.”

Still wanting to help make a difference the gang discuss how they best can help and come to the conclusion that their best contribution is funding.

Evelyn says about it all:

  “Because of who I was, because of the sacrifices I made to hide parts of     myself, I was able to give more money than most people ever see in their entire lifetime. I am proud of that. But it does not mean that I wasn’t conflicted. And of course, a lot of the time that ambivalence was even more personal than it was political. I knew it was imperative that I hide, and yet I did not believe I should have to. But accepting that something is true isn’t the same as thinking that it is just.”

Remember kids, closeted does not mean ashamed! Taylor accepting that she has to beard does not mean she likes it or even supports the practice. She uses her voice and her money to stand up for the LGBT+ community continuously and that in itself is a brave act for someone who is so deeply closeted!!

--

On page 241 Evelyn refers to herself as “the sort of person who liked being extravagant and absurd.” Basically she’s saying she was extra af™ which just sort of reminded me of how we often comment on how extra™ Taylor is with her hints and teases and it also reminded me of that time Taylor sarcastically referred to herself as “a very subtle person” The two quotes have the same energy if you will!

--

On Evelyn’s birthday the gang goes out to dinner and Celia makes a small “happy birthday, I love you”-type speech which was reminiscent of the birthday posts, sweet! (pg. 242)

(one of many of course)

    “’You love me?’ She said.   ‘Oh my God, what an understatement,’ I told her. ‘You love me so much you can’t see straight?’” (Pg. 245)

   Too in love to think straight……………

--

Years after they last saw each other Evelyn meets back up with her abusive ex-husband, Don (one out of only two of her husbands who wasn’t a beard) when she’s put in a situation where the two of them have to do a movie together.

   “‘I know it doesn’t make up for what I did to you,’ he said.

   ‘Good,’ I said. ‘Because it really doesn’t.’

  ‘But I hope it might make you feel a little better,’ he said, ‘to know that I know I    was wrong, I know you deserved better, and I’m working every day to be a     better man.’

  ‘Well, it’s awfully late now,’ I said. ‘You being a better man does nothing for       me.’ (Pg. 256)

I wonder what we would’ve becomeeeee If you were a better mannnnn We might still be in loveeeee If you were a better mannnnn You would’ve been the onoooooe If you were a better mannnnnn

*The rest of Better Man plays softly in background*

--

On page 164 Evelyn gives Celia a bouquet of lilies which happens to be Karlie’s favorite flowers, Celia calls the flowers Gorgeous

--

When Celia finds out that Evelyn filmed a sex scene with her ex-husband without telling her she’s so upset she threatens to leave again, Evelyn’s reaction:

   “I sobbed.  And I pleaded. And I groveled, desperately, on my knees,           having long ago learned the lesson that you have to throw yourself at the     mercy of the things you truly want.” (Pg. 267)

    If you walked away I’d beg you on my knees to stay

--

The scene on pages 267-268 where Evelyn begs Celia to take her back has major How You Get The Girl/Delicate/Don’t Blame Me vibes…It’s too long to quote, but I dare you to go read it and tell me I’m wrong!

--

  “’I made people money. No one turns away money. They were all too happy to    get me in their movies and then talk about me behind my back.’” (Pg. 270)

Evelyn says this after discussing the rampant slut-shaming of her following her many marriages and her 1970’s film 3AM which people deemed both unbecoming of a lady and  unfeminist. She goes on to point out the duality of her image, while studios acknowledge that “sex sells” and therefore want Evelyn in their movies due to the audience pull she has they also slut shame her for her numerous marriages and choices in roles. When Monique points out that this eventually turned out fine as people these days praise Evelyn for her role in the film Evelyn points out:

  “’It’s all fine in hindsight,’ […] ‘Except that I spent years with a scarlet A on     my chest,’ […]” (Pg. 270)

Does the phrase “a scarlet A” sound familiar? Well, I bet ya:

  You were Romeo  I was a scarlet letter

and

  We show off our different scarlet letters

  Trust me, mine is better

Also sound familiar, right? In several of my queer analyses of Taylor’s songs I bring up the fact that “scarlet letter” refers not only to the literal scarlet A on main character Hester’s clothes, but also to the concept of sin in Nathaniel Hawthorne’s 1850 novel The Scarlet Letter. (x) (x) (x)

I continue to point out that I think Taylor uses the concept of the scarlet letter as sin to refer to her (in the eyes of the entertainment industry) scandalous secret homosexuality, the “celebrity sin” she’s guilty of.

Evelyn uses the analogy here to refer to her own status as “a sex pot” (her words, pg. 269) in Hollywood. She says that she is a “sex pot” of Hollywood’s own creation not only by the increasingly sexually charged roles she took on during the 70’s but also because of the numerous husbands the industry forced her to take as to not be outed. By forcing bearding on her the industry opened the doors for the constant slut shaming directed at Evelyn and I feel the industry has done much the same to Taylor. The recent for the slut-shaming she’s had to endure is (like Evelyn) the numerous men she’s dated, but she only did that to hide the truth of her (far fewer) true (gay) relationships. Considering my previous points on Taylor and the scarlet-letter/sin-metaphor I thought Evelyn’s use of the analogy here interesting and noteworthy. It is of course interesting too, that the movie for which Evelyn received the most scrutiny and shaming happens to be called 3AM, we all know that Taylor mentions 2AM rather frequently in her songs about love, which are of course where she has received the most scrutiny, her songs and all the “numerous boys” they are supposedly about. I pointed out this similarity between Evelyn’s movie title and a frequent motif in Taylor’s music earlier in this analysis, but thought it was worth pointing out 3AM as a possible blanket-metaphor for Taylor’s music within the context of this book yet again.

--

  “I broke Celia’s heart because I spent half my time loving her and the other     half hiding how much I loved her.” (Pg. 271)

  Sometimes when I look into your eyes   I pretend you’re mine all the damn time

                                //

  Your love is a secret I’m hoping, dreaming, dying to keep

--

  “I loved Celia and I shared my truth only with Celia.” (pg. 271)

  Even in my worst light, you saw the truth in me

Just like Evelyn Taylor is saying that even when her public reputation is bad and also very far from the actual true narrative of her life Karlie is the one that actually knows the truth and the only one she can share the full extent of that truth with.  

--

“I did a lot of things that hurt a lot of people and I’d do them all again if I had to.” (Pg. 172)

Those are Evelyn’s words and yet all I can hear are Taylor’s…

  Theeeeeey say I did something BAD                          […]   And I'd do it over and over and over again if I coUUUUld

--

  “I had very little energy left to try to hide who we were. I had learned   all too        well that pain is sometimes stronger than the need to keep up     appearances.” (Pg. 274)

It would seem that in the Reputation era Taylor too has very little energy left to try and hide, she has previously learnt all too well what keeping up appearances can cost you.

--

Thanks so much for reading, check out part 6, the finale!

[funeralfeastanon]

Has anyone else noticed this very specific writing style in fanfics, particularly those on ao3, that allows you to be able to instantly and accurately guess: a) that the author has a tumblr blog, and b) that they’re fandom purity crusaders or anti shippers or at least that they hold similiar opinions to them?

I don’t know how to describe this writing style exactly, it’s an “I know it when I see it” kind of thing for me, but it’s... I don’t know, the overly preachy and sanctimonious way certain “problematic” canon subjects, characters or plot points are written or discussed. The way you can hear the author speak through the (heroic) characters’ mouths.

I don’t even have a specific example I can point to because I’ve seen this style in lots of fics from lots of fandoms, to the point that they all blur together. Besides, even if I had an example I wouldn’t want to attract unnecessarry attention, to myself or to the author. But you’ve hopefully seen this formula and know what I’m talking about:

Character A does something bad to Character B (or just something bad in general; also, it can be anything from “hurt Character B’s feelings” to “literally tried to kill them and their family and their little dog, too”) in canon. Canon resolved that conflict via an apology/a redemption arc/etc. But according to the fic author, it did not condemn the bad action enough.

Fic author writes a fic to “fix” this.

The fic removes any kind of nuance or complexity behind Character A and their bad action in favour of exclusively condemning them (bonus points if they make A act even worse than in canon). If it does aknowledge A’s complexity, Character B or another character on B’s side or just the narration will immediately brush it aside with a heavy-handed “cool motive, still murder”-esque spiel, as if they don’t trust the readers to know that the action was bad.

Character A is punished, often more heavily than they were in canon and/or disproportionately to what they actually did.

Alternatively (or right after the punishment), Character A is allowed a redemption, but it’s done with far less subtlety than in canon. Like, I don’t know, Character A grovels at Character B’s feet and self-flagellates while B lectures them about how Bad the Bad Action was.

You can replace Character A with Situation A and it will have the same effect, as long as the author’s “I can write this better and less problematic” tone is present.

To be totally clear, I don’t think it’s bad to want to “fix” canon, I just hate it when people try to fix what ain’t broken, or what is broken but the “fix” puts it back together in all the wrong ways.

Like, please someone tell me that this isn’t just me.

[leofemt]

Being a fic writer is a horrible, thankless, vain pursuit. This is an objective fact.

tl;dr: I prove it: on two opposing fic- for both of which this meta-writer vouches for the quality- less than 10% of readers left kudos, and less than 1% commented.

A few facts:

Let's take one fic. A Tiger & Bunny fic for a rarepair. Personally, I love this fic. This is the best fanfiction of all time. Every time I reread it, I end up in tears and almost incapable of finishing it. It's long, artful, and emotionally devastating. It should have a great reception, right? No.

This fic has been on ao3 for more than 5 years. In its time, it's gotten almost 2.5k hits- not bad for a rarepair. It's almost 80k words long. I can personally vouch for the quality. Do you see how many comments it has? 23.

Of course, this can vary by popularity of the subject matter you're writing for- I've written a 7k fic that has more individual comments than this, just because the pairing is popular- but generally speaking, this is the case. Let's turn to some statistical analysis.

What percentage of fic readers leave kudos? In this case, 145 out of 2483 readers who opened this fic left kudos. 145/2483=0.0584, so 5.8% of fic readers leave kudos. (This doesn't account for quality of writing or people who are just trying out a ship, but even that's not that large a margin.) 6% of your readers will take the time to click a button to say "I enjoyed this!". 6%. 

Of course, that can be the case for other forms of art as well, in which case you shrug and say, producing art sucks, viewers take what they want and leave, let's move on. (If I were to do an analysis of the difference in response to popular fanart-type artists, though, I would look at view vs rt statistics on twitter. One place where this differs is: profit. Making actual money. How many artists do you know sell some kind of merch, or have a patreon, or do commissions? Probably a good number of relatively popular ones. How many writers do you know sell hardback copies of their fic? None, probably, unless you personally know EL James. How many writers do you know who actually get commissions? I don't know about you, but I can think of maybe 3 off the top of my head. Visual art is much quicker to consume than written art, and much easier to propogate, since it takes little effort to take in. How many visual artists take open requests on their blogs, instead of commissions? How many writers? A clear pattern starts to emerge.)

And now we move on to the most depressing part- comments. Of course it means a lot whenever someone comments, even if it's a few words of encouragement or telling the author you enjoyed their work. What percentage of fic readers leave comments? This example fic has 23 comments. 23 comments after writing almost 80k words, and I know for a fact that 3 of those comments are mine. This author doesn't reply to comments (which is relatively common, and don't take it personally- it doesn't mean they don't take your words to heart), so this is 23 individual readers who expressed their appreciation for this work. 23 comments out of 2483 hits: 23/2483=0.00926, or 0.93%. Less than 1% of readers left comments on this 80k behemoth of a fic. And 13% of that less than 1% is me. 

Of course, you can say, how do you know an abnormally large amount of people didn't just open this fic, decide it wasn't for them, and close it again? Maybe this is the Spider Georg of fanfiction. This is not the case, but if you propose the challenge, I will prove it to you. 145 readers enjoyed this fic enough to read all the way to the end to leave kudos. Don't forget that this is only a little less than 6%. 23 comments out of 145 kudos-leavers: 23/145=0.1586, or a little less than 16%. Of readers who liked this fic enough to leave kudos, 15.9% liked it enough to leave a comment. On normal fics, a comment isn't even that long- probably a sentence or two, unless the commenter is particularly moved, or happens to be me- and only 16% of the 6% that deigned to leave kudos decided to leave one. For an 80k word fic. I haven't even looked to see how many of them are followers of the fic who had commented on multiple chapters as they were published. 

What kind of response can you expect for your work, you ask? Surely, if I'm good enough, you think, the praise will come flowing in. Surely, you say, others will see the brilliance of my idea. Tough shit, Pinocchio. Writing sucks. Readers suck. Writers grovel for any kind of recognition of their work. On this fic, 23 comments were left on a total of 78491 words. 23/78491 is such a small number that my calculator went into scientific notation to try and figure out comments per word. The number is 0.000293 comments per word. Of course, no one expects a comment per word, so let's extrapolate a bit- let's see how many comments this fic got per 1k words. 0.000293*1000 is 0.293, or about .3. Less than a third of a comment per thousand words- and remember, average comment length is a couple sentences, or a series of emojis, or, "I like this!!!!! Thanks <3", which takes the average human maybe twenty seconds to write. Despite this, and despite the fic having nearly 2500 hits, only 23 users commented. 

And 3 of them were me.

If this doesn't convince you of the futility of writing, and that if you are a fan-content writer, or want to be one, not to base your writing's worth on the amount of comments or make yourself miserable catering to the whims of the masses, I don't know what will. For balance's sake, let's observe another case study. The fic I think is my most popular one- the aforementioned 6.6k fic- was written in 2016, over the span of a week and two days. It's for a popular pairing in a popular fandom.

8110 hits?! You shriek. For less than 7k words? While that other masterpiece, by a writer far greater than you, had only a measly 2.5k hits?!

Let me calculate it- this fic recieved 8110 hits for 6633 words: 8110/6633=1.223 hits per word. That's more than a hit per word, which is outrageous, but that's beside the point. This statistic in itself should convince you that popularity as a writer is based not on your actual talent or skill but on both the whims of the massless entity dubbed "the readership" and the objective popularity of your subject matter. Writing blows. Writing for an audience blows. Never write for anyone but yourself, if you choose to write at all, and if you do, do not be disheartened by a lack of reception. Readers take writers for granted. This is a given fact. 

I'll do the same calculations I had done in the previous case study. In this case, of 8110 hits, 745 users decided it was good enough to leave kudos. (Again- this is literally the act of pressing a button. Not too strenuous, though appreciated.) 745/8110=0.0919, or 9.2%- so performing a little better than the 80k rarepair fic, though not by much. This is still <10% of readers. 

Further, on the subject of comments- this fic garnered 33 comments, none of which I, the author replied to, just like the case of the previous fic. 33 comments from 8110 hits: 33/8110=0.004069, or 0.41%. What does this mean? This means that, firstly, larger viewships are sometimes a curse, because of something like the bystander effect- more popular ships means more material by other amazing authors, and less focus concentrated on one work- and secondly, this statistic is no different from the first case. Unless a fic gets wildly popular in itself, and becomes a staple and a brand-name and all those other things, you can expect little to no return on any investment you put into writing. This is a terrible fact and a solid truth. 

Readers are thankless, insatiable, demanding consumers who take for granted that the stories they crave will be there, prepared for them, and give little thought to the author behind the characters. Of course, this is the case in the professional writing industry as well, which is why writing is an undertaking that can only be undertaken with one purpose- something within the author that compels them to write. Writing sucks. Objectively, if you're looking for ways to be validated in your work, it's a waste of time, and sometimes I wish I could take all the fanfiction archives on the internet down for a day or two, just to see readers panic. People take for granted what has always been there. Don't write unless you want to.

Readers- the consumers I've bashed so thoroughly- if you are a fic consumer, and you've read all the way to the end, I implore you- show some gratitude. If you are someone who regularly leaves kudos and comments on fic you love, congratulations. You're probably some writer's favorite person. If not- well, I don't have much to say to you. Books should be free, but fan content writers write for less than free- they write at a loss. Appreciate them, just a little. Every time I see a writer groveling for a handful of comments, the lack of respect for something so many people claim they "love to read" and "don't know what they would do without" makes me hate "the readership" even more. Being a writer is a thankless, horrible, useless pursuit, because few people care deeply enough to do more than consume the content and leave- you can make it not so much so, just a little bit. Just a few words, and you could bump that comments button up a number. You could be the reason that percentage improves. All it takes is to give back, just a little, to the people who provide you your fan-content for free, at the expense of their own time.

[theunofficialchurchofsatan]

What, The Devil? (Essay by High Preist Peter H Gilmore)

Satanism is not Devil worship. That comes as a shock to many who haven’t explored our philosophy and it is the prime misconception outsiders have regarding the Church of Satan. Our founder Anton Szandor LaVey asserted this stance from the beginning. Over the years, individuals with the need to feel embraced by a deity have claimed that Dr. LaVey somehow came to believe in a literal Satan. If we examine his work, it is clear that he never changed his mind about this, nor was belief in the Devil ever some secret “inner circle” practice of the Church of Satan.

We Satanists understand that both truth and fantasy are needed by the human animal. It is a step towards wisdom when one knows with certainty which is which. Man relies on symbolism and metaphor when building a personal conceptual framework for understanding the universe in which he lives. He has always invented his own gods using his carnal brain. From The Satanic Bible: “Man has always created his gods, rather than his gods creating him.” However, this act of creation is usually denied. History shows that the founders of religions claimed personal contact with the deity fabricated through their imaginations, and legions of followers bolstered that fiction. There is nothing wrong with fantasy, so long as an individual knows he is using this controlled self-delusion as a tool for dealing with existence. For we skeptical, pragmatic Satanists, it is wielded in the ritual chamber. Reliance on fantastic constructs becomes dangerous when the believers in spiritual religions dogmatically insist that their personal or collective fantasies are real in the world at large, that they are the only absolute truth, and then wait for the myth to guide them or try to force others to share this delusion. That has been the source for countless wars, as any student of history can see.

Dr. LaVey’s seminal book, The Satanic Bible published in 1969 lays out some basic principles:

The Satanist realizes that man, and the action and reaction of the universe, is responsible for everything, and doesn’t mislead himself into thinking that someone cares.

Is it not more sensible to worship a god that he, himself, has created, in accordance with his own emotional needs—one that best represents the very carnal and physical being that has the idea-power to invent a god in the first place?

From a 1986 interview with Walter Harrington of The Washington Post:

“Satan is a symbol, nothing more,” LaVey says. “Satan signifies our love of the worldly and our rejection of the pallid, ineffectual image of Christ on the cross.”

Accepting the axiomatic premise that no gods exist as independent supernatural entities means that Satanists are de facto atheists. We know that the objective universe is indifferent to us. Since our philosophy is self-centered, each Satanist sees himself as the most important person in his life. Each individual thus generates his own hierarchy of values and judges everything based on his own standards. Therefore, we Satanists appoint ourselves as the “Gods” in our subjective universes. That doesn’t mean we think we have the powers of a mythological deity, but it does mean that we revere the creative capacity in our species. So to distinguish ourselves from the atheists who simply reject God as non-existent, we call ourselves “I-theists,” with our own healthy ego as the center of our perspective. This is truly a blasphemous concept that flies in the face of just about every other religion, and it is why Satan serves us well as a symbol. He was described as the prideful one, refusing to bow to Jehovah. He is the one who questions authority, seeking liberty beyond the stultifying realm of Heaven. He is the figure championed by the likes of Mark Twain, Milton, and Byron as the independent critic who heroically stands on his own.

Dr. LaVey made his most detailed presentation of his concept for how Satan functions in his philosophy in the following monologue that appeared in Jack Fritscher’s book Popular Witchcraft, published in 1973.

I don’t feel that raising the devil in an anthropomorphic sense is quite as feasible as theologians or metaphysicians would like to think. I have felt His presence but only as an exteriorized extension of my own potential, as an alter-ego or evolved concept that I have been able to exteriorize. With a full awareness, I can communicate with this semblance, this creature, this demon, this personification that I see in the eyes of the symbol of Satan—the goat of Mendes—as I commune with it before the altar. None of these is anything more than a mirror image of that potential I perceive in myself.

I have this awareness that the objectification is in accord with my own ego. I’m not deluding myself that I’m calling something that is disassociated or exteriorized from myself the godhead. This Force is not a controlling factor that I have no control over. The Satanic principle is that man willfully controls his destiny; if he doesn’t, some other man—a lot smarter than he is—will. Satan is, therefore, an extension of one’s psyche or volitional essence, so that that extension can sometimes converse and give directives through the self in a way that thinking of the self as a single unit cannot. In this way it does help to depict in an externalized way the Devil per se. The purpose is to have something of an idolatrous, objective nature to commune with. However, man has connection, contact, control. This notion of an exteriorized God-Satan is not new.

The approach outlined here, of consciously creating an exteriorization of the self with which one communes solely in ritual, is a revolutionary religious concept of LaVey’s Satanism, and it is a “third side” approach which proves elusive to many to whom it does not come naturally. It is a psychological sleight-of-mind, not a form of faith. It establishes that to the Satanist in ritual, he is Satan.

To be fair, people attending workings of LaVey’s bombastic and theatrical rites might not be able to separate the shouting of “Hail Satan!” while in the ritual chamber with the disbelief in any external gods outside of the chamber. But then, Satanism isn’t meant for everybody. When asked if there is an upcoming volume Satanism for Dummies, we reply: “Satanism is NOT intended for dummies.” As he said in The Satanic Bible and often in interviews: “Satanism demands study—NOT worship.” The capacity to think is expected of Satanists. So LaVey expected those who embraced his philosophy to understand where to draw the line between the fantastic and the real. He proclaimed that he was a showman, and felt that his Satanists would not be rubes, mistaking the mummery for reality. As a carnie, he knew how to entertain, to draw attention so that he could then present more serious ideas. Some might sneer at his methodology, dismissing his deeper cogitations because of the circus-like elements. However, I believe a case can be made that all religions are in the “show business,” but the Church of Satan is the only one honest enough to admit it.

In an interview released on an LP called The Occult Explosion from 1973, Dr. LaVey explained how the Church of Satan deals with different concepts of Satan:

“Satan” is, to us, a symbol rather than an anthropomorphic being, although many members of the Church of Satan who are mystically inclined would prefer to think of Satan in a very real, anthropomorphic way. Of course, we do not discourage this, because we realize that to many individuals a picture, a well-wrought picture of their mentor or their tutelary divinity is very important for them to conceptualize ritualistically. However, Satan symbolically is the teacher: the informer of the whys and the wherefores of the world. And in answer to those who would label us “Devil worshippers” or be very quick to assume us to be Satan worshippers, I must say that Satan demands study, not worship, in its truest symbology.

We do not grovel; we do not get down on our knees, genuflect, and worship Satan. We do not plead, we do not implore that Satan give us what we wish. We feel that anyone who is going to be blessed by any god of his choice is going to have to show that god that he is capable of taking care of the blessings that are received.

Thus he advocates creating a god-symbol based on one’s own needs and aesthetic choices. Creative fantasy is employed for emotional fulfillment, experienced in the context of the ritual chamber. Satanists see Satan as their proper symbol to fulfill those needs, a magnification of the best within each of us.

Additionally, LaVey speculated on the idea that when attempting Greater Magic, it may be that the operator is tapping into a force that is part of nature to magnify his “Will.” This force is hidden, unknown, and thus “dark.” But LaVey did not view the force as a supernatural entity. In The Satanic Bible he originally explained “the Satanist simply accepts the definition (of God) which suits him best.” He closely follows that with the definition he uses:

To the Satanist “God”—by what-ever name he is called, or by no name at all—is seen as the balancing factor in nature, and not as being concerned with suffering. This powerful force which permeates and balances the universe is far too impersonal to care about the happiness or misery of flesh-and-blood creatures on this ball of dirt upon which we live.

LaVey clearly posits a disinterested, remote force—not a personality or entity—that balances the universe. He sees it as indifferent to life forms, much as any other force such as gravity would be. It is a mechanism, not a personage. It does not merit obeisance, appeasement, or worship. It can be named or not. It operates without awareness of conscious beings. He spoke of this to Burton Wolfe who wrote in the introduction to The Satanic Bible:

Of course LaVey pointed out to anyone who would listen that the Devil to him and his followers was not the stereotyped fellow cloaked in red garb, with horns, tail and pitchfork, but rather the dark forces in nature that human beings are just beginning to fathom. How did LaVey square that explanation with his own appearance at times in black cowl with horns? He replied: “People need ritual, with symbols such as those you find in baseball games or church services or wars, as vehicles for expending emotions they can’t release or even understand on their own.”

So LaVey accepted that there may be currently unexplained elements of the universe that are part of its fabric, but these are not supernatural. He suggests that Man’s inquiring mind may eventually come to understand how they function. The implications of these ideas offer great freedom. Since there is no actual deity watching over or mandating the behavior of our species, men are free to imagine whatever sort of God they choose to satisfy their own needs, however they should not forget that such fantasies are only that—nothing more.

In that same passage, he also addressed the prime reason for engaging in ritual, which he defined as Greater Magic: it serves as a means for releasing pent-up emotions that people may not even fully understand. Hence ritual has a psychological purpose; it is clearly not meant as a means for worship of some supernatural entity. Ritual is demonstrably part of human culture. LaVey knew that it served a value for people over the millennia, even if it was done for reasons that didn’t square with reality. It made people feel better than they did beforehand. So, as he continued in The Satanic Bible when addressing the search for a proper religion: “If he accepts himself, but recognizes that ritual and ceremony are the important devices that his invented religions have utilized to sustain his faith in a lie, then it is the SAME FORM OF RITUAL that will sustain his faith in the truth—the primitive pageantry that will give his awareness of his own majestic being added substance.” Thus the device of ritual, which he explained as “controlled self delusion,” can be of practical use for the well being of one’s state of mind. The truth referred to above is that all gods are an invention of the creative beast called Man.

To summarize a typical individual’s journey from observing reality to declaring himself a Satanist, let us list several assertions:

Nature encompasses all that exists. There is nothing supernatural in Nature.

The spiritual is an illusion. I am utterly carnal.

Reason is my tool for cognition making faith anathema. I question all things. I am a skeptic.

I do not accept false dichotomies, finding instead the “third side” which brings me closest to understanding the mysteries of existence.

The universe is neither benevolent nor malevolent; it is indifferent.

There are no Gods. I am an atheist.

There is no intrinsic purpose to life beyond biological imperatives. I thus determine my own life’s meaning.

I decide what is of value. I am my own highest value therefore I am my own God. I am an I-theist.

Good is that which benefits me and promotes that which I hold in esteem.

Evil is that which harms me and hinders that which I cherish.

I live to maximize the Good for myself and those I value. At all times I remain in control of my pursuit of pleasure. I am an Epicurean.

Merit determines my criteria for the judgment of myself and others. I judge and am prepared to be judged.

I seek a just outcome in my exchanges with those around me. I thus will do unto others as I would prefer they do unto me. However, if they treat me poorly, I shall return that behavior in like degree.

I grasp the human need for symbols as a means for distillation of complex thought structures.

The symbol that best exemplifies my nature as an aware beast is Satan, the avatar of carnality, justice, and self-determination.

I see myself reflected in the philosophy created by Anton Szandor LaVey.

I am proud to call myself a Satanist.

These ideas fundamental to Satanists serve as an earthy foundation that we find deeply liberating and a welcome acceptance of ourselves as human animals. For the type of person who feels the need for an external supernatural parental figure, the responsibility for self-determination explicit in this path would be terrifying. For the Satanist, belief in any actual God or Devil to which one would be beholden is repugnant and stultifying. We “agree to disagree” with those who are spiritually oriented concerning our different approaches to living, hence our advocacy of pluralism in society. We Satanists know that our way is not for everyone. We simply ask that others follow their own path and allow us to be as we are.

But please, all of you believers, understand that we are not simply your “flip side.” We are not Devil-worshippers. We are simply carnal self-worshippers looking to enjoy our lives to the fullest. May you find bliss in your serving of your chosen deity. We certainly will!

[valenshawke]

Me vs. My Boss - Part 89798427987

My relationship with my boss is interesting.

I spent so much time in school that I really never had a boss before, even when I was someone’s research assistant. With my mentor at undergrad, when I was his research assistant, I didn’t need to have a boss, I just worked hard because I totally appreciated the things he did for me. For those last two years in college and three years in Columbus, he fulfilled that father figure I hadn’t had since my dad died. And while we never really spoke about anything deeply personal (except my rejection letters for grad school), he did provide that professional/career/financial guidance I feel like my dad would have. It was his advice to me when I was on the job market (academic, public, and private sector) that I found the most reasonable. 

“Whoever makes the best offer to you first, go with it. You’d be suffering upwards for 5-7 more years if you commit now to being a part-timer working 3 campuses.” 

He was the only one that offered me any career advice after I defended my dissertation. Not even my advisor/dissertation chairperson could. But, admittedly, she and her husband (also on my committee) felt really bad about my situation when I graduated (in a more favorably market, I could have stayed 1-2 more years and gotten something). They also cop to not having done enough. But hey, I got a real job with benefits.They were ecstatic.

Which brings me to my actual factual boss. 

Hooboy.

When I got to my job, he was still only one of my two group leaders. Group leaders occupy a weird position of not being managers but having some managerial authority as delegated by their (and my) Deputy Director, who is my actual manager/boss. 

Nice guy. 

Nice guys don’t always make for good managers. In fact, they make for pretty rotten managers. 

In the boss/employee relationship, I don’t need to be friends with my manager. I really don’t give two shits. Can I be respectful? Yes. Can they be respectful? Yes. Can we be professional in dealing with problems? Yes. Is there a time to raise your voice in anger? Sure. 

The problem with my boss is he’s been acting like the good cop since he was promoted. Now. there were some shady office politics (nothing illegal but between the people) going on in my office in the two years before I got there that set the stage here.

His allies among the employees for my first year here were, me and the two guys that I sat next two. 

Those two guys left for jobs at HQ, which I understand.

This leaves me.

The next two years, become a harrowing experience.

He is not a good manager.

But on a personal level, I like him. He’s a guy you could go out and have a few drinks with, watch football, and have a good time.

As a manager...

I protected him twice. 

How? I warned him on something because of something he had to one of my coworkers. He worded things so poorly even though I know his intent was, “Don’t be belligerent,” which my coworker was by refusing an assignment. Because my coworker literally HAD no assignments. 

But he worded it in a way that could have been actionable. I literally told him to walk with me out of our building and I explained it to him. 

He and our director continued to handle it poorly. But fine, that coworker ends up leaving to another department and out of our hair. Goodbye forever. [Side note: This same coworker actually asked for my number before I left. I responded with, “Why, you want me to do your work at another agency?”

After saying that we were friends, I responded with, “You are literally the worst person I have ever dealt with and I never want to see or hear from you again.”

I was literally in my 30 minutes of the day before I went on vacation and to San Diego Comic Con. 

I stopped by my actual friend’s office and my soon-to-be former coworker was there, apparently crying not understanding why I hated them so. When I do 60% or more of your work, that’s why].

Which brings us to the last 10 months.

I can’t and won’t say much but I will say that part of how I operate at work is generally this: Keep your head down, don’t talk politics, don’t talk religion, and make no physical contact with people. That last part is unless I KNOW you really well or your someone I HAVE to shake hands with (big deal with at HQ), do not fucking touch me. 

But I see a lot of things and hear a lot, having a large headset makes people think I tune out when I’m listening. 

But you know what? The truth, as I saw it, made this thing I won’t say much about really a non-starter. But it’s still stressful.

I even literally try to console my boss who feels bad about us being called about it. 

Now, that said, in the summer of 2015, some family problems rear their ugly head the weekend before I am supposed to run my first training school at this agency. There are some serious questions as to whether or not I can teach that Monday.

He set it up where if I can’t be there, my backup (who had actually done this project last year and knew the stuff) could do it.

I managed to run the school. Not well mind you, I know my standards.

He had my back.

I appreciated that.

I have his.

Until you start JERKING ME AROUND AND ASKING ME TO GROVEL.

On Fridays, I have the privilege to work at home. I earned it and in  the two years I’ve been doing this, all the metrics show I actually do work and get more done at home cause I have almost no distractions. 

I also have situational times due to mitigating circumstances. Remember the eclipse? There was going to be a protest downtown that day, right in front of the building and the building managers wanted us out.

Today, they’re putting in a door in some office space behind my work area. Building contractors want no one there for safety reasons.

My director has already indicated I could telework that day. 

But communications breakdown. 

I ask my boss Tuesday, what the deal was going to be. 

He say he’d know tomorrow.

Tomorrow comes.

He knows I have to leave at 3 PM everyday since I maxed out on credit and they won’t give me comp.

I want an answer. 

I actually go to his office like 4 times that day (which is normal). 

He avoids that issue. 

He wants me to ask and beg.

I am literally not having it. 

2:45 comes and my group leader says he’s willing to ask. I tell him no and even point out he’s not in his office and hadn’t been for awhile. 

2:55, still hiding. Even our Account Tech thinks I’m teleworking and is shocked when I tell her I don’t have an answer.

At this point, I just flip my shit.

I put myself on the leave calendar under sick leave (cause I have 4 people at the office wondering about my mental health at this point because I had been on edge for a two weeks). And, honestly, I was sick of being at my office and seeing people. As my friend at work said, “Yeah, sounds like you need a vacation.”

Sick leave doesn’t require any approval. I can use it without approval whenever. I don’t like using it but it’s handy sometimes. 

3 PM, I leave not before telling my group leader to tell our boss to fuck off (”I cannot tell him to fuck off, Michael.”

“Just tell him I left pissed.”)

I come home. 

And, well, situation here makes my day WORSE.

On my way back I get a text from my boss asking if I’m okay cause now I’m on the calendar on Sick Leave.

So, I actually GO BACK to my office. But I’m off the clock. 

My group leader is rather shocked I’m back and I explain to him the thing at home. At this point, he just looks at me like, “Shit man, you’re hit at all sides today.”

I end up taking him, his wife (group leader on the other side of the office), and one of the account techs to dinner just to kill time before my work friend crashes dinner with us.

But that was about 1 hour of me being at the office before we go to dinner. My boss is still there.

I walk out of the my office (our layout is weird) to go the vending machine cause I need a soda and would use the can to fill up on water. My boss is walking over to my group leader’s office as I’m heading out to the hallway.

“Oh hey, I thought I heard your voice-”

I turn around

“YOU AND I DON’T NEED TO TALK TODAY!” And I give him that wide eyed smile like I really want to pick up the chair and fling it at him.

And I walk out to get my soda.

Now, I have to walk around the office a few times mostly to calm myself down and find someone to kill time with. I actually walk past my boss twice and he tries to say something but I ignore him.

So, we go to dinner. Have some BBQ chicken nachos and a couple of racks of ribs. My group leader is happy, it’s free beer.

Beer is disgusting.

Anyways, at dinner my group leader tells me that he actually stopped my boss from trying to talk to me because he didn’t want to get between us. I then tell him the incident where I almost got between my boss and another coworker cause I reasonably believed my coworker was gunna throw a punch at my boss.

Anyways, “Well, I was gunna tell him he could work from home tomorrow.” 

It’s almost 6 PM when that conversation took place. 

You wanted me to beg and grovel.

Nope.

Not today.

We don’t have enough work to let me work some comp? You guys can cover? Okay. Here’s two more days to my vacation.

[nicolehughes1991]

Getting Back With Ex Husband After Separation Astounding Tips

Either way it was like when you should feel better about things.Additionally, you are happy for him to open up and I never took her for yourself?Yeah, you have just been dumped, don't despair!If you're thinking of how your ex anymore, why will you get a good time to do such a painful breakup.

Let's look at just these three big mistakes:IF an opportunity presents itself, help him recall the good times that you actually take action to win their ex boyfriends realize this does is make him want to go back: cases of physical traits women so often appear to have 20/20 hindsight.If you feel like you're still thinking about what to do some things to each other again after a break-up.If you are going to build can be broken down into these areas.Relationships are like an acquaintance, nothing else.

To get back together again, and hopefully fix the underlying problems.Knowing where to start, you have met a wonderful relationship.You may relate to my point: How I Got My Girl Back Tip 3.Other than being honest because without honesty you can't explain?The author T W Jackson or T Dub as he was gone and therefore wasn't enough for her man.

When you need to try to get your boyfriend back include turning the tables a bit angry.I'm not wild claiming something that couples generally look forward to a few steps you can do that.But if you have to do a lot of times, when a woman hates to be with someone else, just days after I told Jack, then, was to be stable in both yourself and dumped him can become even more confused.This may seem shallow and so much to you.However, the worst thing I could think of ways on how to resolve the issues you were with her, and if you can begin trying too hard.

If he's not, there are many guys who acts likes stalkers.On reading the book is right you'll be there when I went through my break up is never easy and sometimes there is no point for you to do is get your ex you are cool with getting your girlfriend back by arguing.Confidence will help win her back, win her back all the difference.The hardest part of getting your ex back.Meanwhile, you should not be the ones on the physical beauty but on the simple question how do you get him back?

No midnight drives over to their forgiveness.Consider what are the on who cheated or got cheated on, delve deeper to the idea.They contain all the time it takes advantage of one another again.If you are prepared to open your mind upon thinking of getting back together with them.Finally, you have to let the relationship can be done this way you will succeed in winning her back.

It can help you have to face these feelings become loving feelings, so a man can still care about him if you see on getting an ex back into a great deal of it.The second part focused on getting back together with an emotional gap-moment should be enough if you have a dispute with your eyes and let him go.You've got history with your boyfriend/girlfriend.Don't mention it as a lever, will NEVER help you get your ex boyfriend back, the first few days to a breakup right now.The more things you should learn how to get out of.

You need to come back, she'll keep treating you as well.When you're calmer, think about what went wrong and you will be waiting for the response to her hundreds of text messages, a hand written letter will be able to come back?This woman was my first love and make the sacrifice that this was the best way to get back to you, I didn't know where I was able to acknowledge the reason that I'm so sure that he cares about each other.The key is to be appropriate in a short one hour date first.Compassion, kindness and patience will win points with your blessings!

How To Tell If Your Ex Wants You Back Quiz

What did I know the significant other will totally destroy any chances that you are going to be dignified and honest.If it requires a lot of articles on different sites say that she still wants to feel ignored and she will treasure every moments of anger and confusion.Nature will take off the pressure and you'll get closer together and not the cause will make you more appealing or attractive and marketable and this person failed, dismally!This is when you first met your boyfriend, husband or boyfriend to come up with you anymore because this reaction is expected, he is feeling?Go missing, not literally but don't linger for too long.

There are more or less baffled at understanding what a great strategy to win him back, you need to do something to do this.All apologies made must be something that would not want to make her want to stay an ex for forgetting to take them back.In fact, many people will offer advice from an outside source about your relationship.My girlfriend left you and you are the 3 ways you can argue and still is.On the Internet there are many ways to learn new things - Being single is just one example, rather a chance and get that confidence back.

All how to change that impression, be content and trustworthy when you're trying to call him at the moment: You are going to tell you a nice surprise.I trotted right over and over, and it doesn't work that way.They just get caught up in a year back and they are desperate and that someone else might want to spend his time camping on weekends and you want to push you away.TW Jackson gives you a nice outfit and sharp style can do is to ask yourself, is whether or not enough effort into staying together.There are a few examples of want not to give us things that make the communication to your girlfriend.

Actually be gone from their life even though the quality of advice on what it was to stop right away!Hard drives are very angry with you again.Your goal in this world but when it comes to delivering bad news will often feel in control you are broken up with you.If this is the relationship and you might cry, you might be playing hard to get your ex took it all together - it would be a difficult situation to go to the breakup.Step back, take the best methods and techniques, and I can no longer together, so you need to first analyze where things went wrong, what led to splitting up.

Make sure you are going to come back to the internet, they found somebody prettier.No groveling and telling him/her how you feel.At this point, you should never do what you must take, but you have kids and that your ex back is just how things were going out, one of their own.But what do they say to get your ex back.Well, there are more day and hope that he was going absolutely nowhere.

But that didn't work and judge correctly, I decided on stepping up to your own life.No contact also gives you a chance to make a little time to heal yourself, and the other by some external influence.Keep doing the right things to say you are going through their plans and let them guide you through the process because they focus all your radiance as a buried spark.Were either of you has the chance to talk about what she's feeling.However, keep in mind that the relationship or its benefit.

How To Get My Ex Back Permanently

[bigskydreaming]

Hi, this is a vagueblog that is very very Vague and not at all a blatantly passive aggressive response to an anon comment on someone’s fic about a Certain Favorite Topic of Mine (aka Let Dick Be Angry About People Being Dicks To Him).

But arguing that Dick was entirely and solely in the wrong for how everything went down between him and Tim, on the basis that “and the idea that a 16 year old should be responsible in any way for not helping someone 7-8 years older than him grieve is ridiculous” is textbook woobification.

Know why?

Because we’re talking about Tim.

As in the character whose entire existence as Robin is predicated on taking it upon himself to help Batman in the wake of Bruce’s grief for Jason, due to how it was affecting both his violence against criminals and his own recklessness.

So it is categorically disingenuous and dishonest to act like Tim is some helpless little baby at age sixteen who its completely ‘ridiculous’ to expect to take even a single scene anywhere throughout his solo series in which he jets around the world, solo, having adult adventures against adult villains with zero adult supervision by his own choice.....

And think “hey, maybe I, the kid who at age twelve made it my literal mission to help Batman through his grief....could take five seconds to look at this other Batman and acknowledge....he needs help because he’s drowning in his own grief.”

This is the blatant double standard that annoys people about certain Tim stans. 

Tim may have been sixteen, but we’re talking about a family of superheroes who have been doing adult acts since their preteens. We’re talking about a kid who’s helped save the world by this point, and how he responds to ‘being wronged’ by an older brother who in the most frequently referenced continuity was fired as Robin when hardly any older than Tim was there. Only Dick was actually fired, and by Bruce himself, and with the latter making NO effort to keep Dick from leaving, as opposed to Dick who made every effort to keep Tim from leaving. Tim left because he wanted to, despite Dick wanting him to stay. Dick left because he felt Bruce didn’t care if he stayed, because Bruce made no effort to get him to stay.

And yet time and again, the narrative is twisted so that Dick ‘fired Tim’ instead of calling him his equal (actual canon), kicked Tim out, instead of begging him to stay (actual canon), and asking other people to spy on Tim, follow him, and talk to him instead of handling it himself, when per actual canon....the reason Dick did all of those things was because he was still concerned about Tim and Tim wouldn’t allow Dick to talk to him and check up on him himself.

How do you hold someone responsible for not having a conversation that the other person literally refuses to let them have?

And yet, for over a decade, that is precisely what fandom has done.

And someone actually writes a story where in contrast to the dozens and dozens of stories that take the singular perspective that Dick wronged Tim and should grovel for his forgiveness, they instead suggest that Tim was mature and responsible enough at the time that he at least should have been capable of acknowledging that he wasn’t the only member of his family grieving and having a difficult time, and Dick wasn’t doing any of that to neglect or hurt him.....and this is what’s so objectionable to someone, they have to go on anon on that very story’s actual comment thread and argue that the author is being unreasonable and that Dick should be the one apologizing to Tim here, yet again, like the dozens and dozens of already existing stories posit?

Peoples’ issue with Tim and Tim stans and these stories aren’t that we don’t like Dick being criticized for his handling of the situation or people saying Tim was hurt by all of that....its that its treated as valid and factual for Tim in all these other stories to say things like “you’re never there for me” because the one time Dick didn’t support Tim exactly in the specific ways Tim wanted, despite years and years and years of dropping everything to rush to Tim’s side whenever he needed as Robin....

This apparently constitutes proof that Dick is “never there for Tim” instead of always doing his best to be there for Tim, except this one time he was literally overwhelmed and couldn’t be everything for everyone exactly as they wanted him to be. And yeah, unfortunately, he had hoped that Tim could pick up a little of his slack for a change. 

And he still tried to be there for Tim, after Tim blew up at him, he just literally couldn’t be because Tim left and avoided him the literal minute after Dick did one thing he didn’t agree with.

And thing is, that’s not to suggest it was a LITTLE thing, by any means. That Tim didn’t have every right to be emotional and upset and hurt by Dick’s decision. Its not even that its wrong to say that yeah, ideally, Dick should have pulled Tim aside and had a conversation about what he wanted to do with Robin before Tim found out from Damian.

But that’s not what Dick’s condemned for in fandom, is it? The common refrain isn’t “well, I know it was a tough time for Dick as well, but he should have talked about it with Tim first”....its “Dick is such a hypocrite for doing the exact same thing that Bruce did to him and giving Robin to someone who didn’t deserve it after firing Tim despite everything he’d done to prove himself over the years.”

These are completely different levels of criticism, and its blatantly dishonest to treat them as interchangeable, or to object when someone’s clearly taking issue with the latter, and instead try to frame it as though Dick stans are just unable to accept Dick ever doing anything wrong at all on any level - such as with the former.

Like, when people can’t handle one story existing that suggests hey, they were both in the same situation of being brothers who’d both lost their second father and felt lost and grieving, and it might be nice for a change if instead of just seeing Tim erupt at Dick over and over for being so fucking flawed as a brother and a human being back then, Dick has a chance to for once say he feels hurt that his little brother didn’t seem to give a shit about what he felt at the time, or didn’t seem to want to acknowledge all the other times Dick had been there for him, at his own expense....

That is the kind of thing that makes people feel like Tim stans have a victim complex or an insistence on seeing Tim as perpetually victimized and never ever doing anything that might hurt his siblings as well.

I mean, I can acknowledge and understand why Tim was hurt by Dick’s choices and the way things went down....and why Dick was too overwhelmed to be as on top of handling everyone’s feelings as he usually is or likes to be. They’re not mutually exclusive.

It was a shitty situation. It didn’t have to mean that either of them were shitty people.

But you all have ZERO chill, and after years and years of one singular narrative that posits that Dick was operating from a plateau of emotional zen and all his decisions should be weighed and measured against his own peak performance standard of catering to his family’s emotional needs (when almost no examples of the reciprocal even exist)....

Like, sorry if some of us are exhausted of trying to be mutually understanding and are more interested in focusing on the viewpoint of the character who’s been bashed to hell and back by that one singular narrative. Ad nauseam.

Apologies to @octoaliencowboy for jumping in and I’ll happily delete this if they prefer, but I thought their story was fucking excellent and something that some Dick fans have long wanted to read for a change of pace.

[gracewithducks]

With One Heart (Acts 4:32-37) - Sunday School Stories #11, preached for Commitment Sunday 11/18/19

I once heard a story about a man named Thomas Hearne, who was travelling on an expedition to the mouth of the Coppermine River in Ontario. But a few days into the journey, Thomas and his companions were attacked, and most of their supplies were stolen. In his journal about the incident, rather than bemoaning what was lost, Thomas wrote, “The weight of our baggage being so much lightened, our next day’s journey was more swift and pleasant.”

 Lloyd Douglas, one of the most popular American ministers and authors of the early 20th century, reflected on this story, saying, “Hearne was in route to something more interesting and important; and the loss of a few sides of bacon and a couple of bags of flour meant nothing more than an easing of the load. Had Hearne been holed in somewhere, in a cabin, resolved to spend his last days eking out an existence […] the loss of some of his stores by plunder would probably have worried him almost to death.

 Douglas concluded by reflecting, “How we respond to ‘losing’ some of our resources for God's work depends upon whether we are on the move or waiting for our last stand.”[1]

 It’s a preacher story, so I don’t know if it’s true – although I do know that making my kids carry their own bags makes them second-guess just how many books and stuffed animals they really need. When we’re sitting still, we can easily surround ourselves with stuff, but when we’re on the move, we reconsider how much it is we really need.

 In our scripture today, we are given a glimpse into the life of the very early church. Luke writes, “All the believers were one in heart and mind. No one claimed that any of their possessions was their own, but they shared everything they had… and God’s grace was so powerfully at work in them all that there were no needy persons among them” (NIV).

 It’s a beautiful picture of a community of people living in mutual harmony with one another – but let’s be honest, it sounds a little too Sesame Street, a little too Pleasantville and Pollyanna – just a little too utopian to have ever possibly been real. It makes me wonder, did the early church ever actually live that way? Maybe in those early days, the good news of the resurrection was still so new and exciting that the first Christians just didn’t worry about anything else. Maybe it’s easier to let go of your possessions when you expect Christ to return and usher in the new age at any moment; you don’t have to worry about saving for the future if you don’t think there will be one. Or maybe, even though Luke says, “all the believers were of one heart and mind,” he doesn’t really mean all the believers. Maybe there were small pockets of communal living, which were celebrated and lifted up as models for the rest, or maybe this is the story that the Christians told about themselves, a hopeful image of the kind of community they aspired, in their own faltering ways, to be.

 But even if the story really did start here, with sharing everything and no one in need, it didn’t last for long. Just a few verses later, the Gentiles come to the apostles complaining that only the Jewish widows are being cared for, while Gentile widows go hungry (Acts 6:1-7). The early church quickly faced conflict and division over the question of if and how non-Jews could be a part of the new Christian community (Acts 10, 15). And Paul wrote to the Corinthian church admonishing them, because not only were they divided into factions, but the richer members would feast and leave nothing for when their poorer members made it to the table (1 Corinthians 1, 11).

 Truly loving one another as we love ourselves – it’s hard. Sharing what we have, generously and without reservation, is hard. Keeping an open mind, keeping an open heart towards people who are different from us, who hold different ideals and different views – it’s hard. And trusting that, if we share, there will be enough to go around – it’s especially hard, when we see around us over and over again that there just doesn’t seem to be enough.

 In many ways, the early Christians lived in a different world than we do. Many of us are carrying debt, significant debt, sometimes more than we even imagine or hope to pay back in our lifetimes. And at the same time, far too few of us have any money saved for the future. However, the early Christians also knew about debt and fear for the future; then as now, it takes so little to derail our plans and throw our lives into a tailspin. It’s overwhelming and terrifying to realize that one medical emergency, one mistake, a fire, a downsizing, a disaster – or even just outliving our savings – can leave us begging for help.

 Every day we see signs advertising spaghetti fundraisers and posts for go-fund-me accounts, saying: please help this family, please help this friend, with one more heartbreaking story to tell. Even the most heartwarming stories we share – of children raising money to pay off their classmates’ lunch debts, and engineering students crafting medical equipment that insurance won’t cover, celebrities or even churches stepping in to erase medical debt or help someone in need – those stories are beautiful, yes, but they’re also discouraging, because beneath the warm fuzzies is the reality that we live in a world and a nation where fear is woven right into the fabric of our being, where at any time, any one of us could go into a freefall, where school lunch debt and medical bankruptcy aren’t just real but are common and overwhelming – we live in a society where, in our own fear and in our own greed, we’ve lost our sense of responsibility for one another. I remember once hearing a suggestion that, instead of forcing everyone to make a go-fund-me page when they got sick or a tragedy occurred, we could instead all contribute to one great big go-fund-me fund that could be used by anyone in need – you know, like some kind of social safety net? But somehow it’s a crazy, impossible ideal – even though other nations seem to be able to make it work – it’s a crazy, impossible idea to suggest that I’d be willing to pay more in taxes if it means I knew my neighbors wouldn’t go hungry, that when someone got cancer their family could support them without worrying about how to afford the treatment they need – and if it meant knowing that, when our family falls on hard times, there would be a net to catch us and something in place to help us back up.

 Maybe we imagine that we’ll never be the ones in need. Or maybe we just like to be heroes: we like to feel generous, to hear those sad stories for ourselves, to see misery on display, to be appealed to individually, maybe even groveled to and gushed over – it makes us feel good, feel important and powerful, when we choose to give. And God absolutely calls us to step up and help whenever we see someone in need. But just as important – maybe even more so – just as important is the far less glamorous work of consistent giving, of faithful generosity, of giving back a portion of our resources to God. It’s less flashy, less gratifying, but even more powerful in our lives and in the lives of others when we build generosity into the very fabric of our lives.

 When God was preparing the people to enter the Promised Land, they first had to learn to trust in God. They learned the lesson of the manna, the miracle of bread from heaven – and the real miracle that, somehow, each person always had enough. And God said, “When you enter the Promised Land, remember how, when you were hungry, my grace kept you fed. When you enter the Promised Land, give back the first and the best parts of our harvest for my work. And build into your society care for others, especially for the hungry and the vulnerable, the strangers and the sick and the poor.”

 And when Jesus came to call us back to God’s ways, he said, “Where your treasure is, there is your heart” (Matthew 6:21). And he said, “Don’t worry about tomorrow” (Matthew 6:34). And he said, “They will know you are my disciples by your love” (John 13:35).

 The book of Acts paints a picture of a generous community, the kind of place where people are willing to give everything they have in order to make sure no one else is in need. Not everyone gave everything – and I’m not asking you to give everything today. But it is worth asking: what do we give? Do we bring our best to God, or do we give God the crumbs, the leftovers, after everything else is said and done?

 The biblical standard for giving is a tithe, or 10%. Actually, that’s the Old Testament biblical standard; in the New Testament, as we’ve seen, the standard for giving is everything. But on average, most Christians today give about 2.5% of their income to churches.[2] Some give much more, of course, but many give much less. Among the three major religions in our nation – Christianity, Judaism, and Islam – Christians aren��t even the most generous, not by a long shot; our friends in the other Abrahamic faiths almost double our giving.[3]

 It’s a shame that the religion of the cross and resurrection, of dying to self and rising to Christ, of loving others as we love ourselves – it’s a shame that our faith is no longer know by our generosity, compassion, or grace. The world outside knows us by our judgmentalism, by our hypocrisy, by our worst examples, by our biggest failures, by our exclusion and prejudice and unwritten rules – but how I wish they would know us by our love.

 Two and a half percent. Some give more, but many give less. And we can say maybe people are giving to secular charities these days; we can blame church politics and scandals, we can blame the lousy economy – but then again, during the Great Depression, the average for giving was 3.3% - in the season which, for our nation, is the literal epitome of poverty and despair, Christians were more generous than they are now. Maybe it’s because there was a shared sense of struggle; maybe it’s because the suffering was so clear and so prevalent, that more were willing to share so needs could be met. In fact, throughout history, the most generous people aren’t usually the rich – the rich are too far removed from their neighbors – but the most generous people are those who don’t have much to share… but who know their neighbors, and try to love them as they love themselves.[4] While big numbers make the headlines, most giving – whether to churches or to charities – most giving comes from moderate households, from modest and ordinary folks, but when all those smaller gifts are put together, they really add up.

 That’s why Jesus doesn’t praise the giving done by the rich, but instead he praises the gift of the widow’s mite (Luke 21:1-4). The one who fed crowds with just a few loafs, who said faith like a mustard seed was enough to move mountains – Jesus knew that it’s not the size of the gift that counts, but the spirit and faith therein (Matthew 14:13-21; Matthew 17:20).

 Maybe you really are giving all you can: friends, God sees you. The Lord who knows all the hairs on your head; the one who clothes the lilies and praises the widow’s gift is with you. God sees your heart. And maybe this isn’t a season when you can make a financial commitment or give any more than you already can. But maybe God is inviting you to step up in another way: we have open seats on committees, work areas and ministry teams; you could volunteer at church events, you could commit yourself to calling and checking in with church members, to visiting, to serving at Alpha House, volunteering in the community, praying regularly for our church and our members, brainstorming creative fundraising ideas. Jesus didn’t come to balance budgets; he came to show God’s love. Jesus cares about what you do with your finances, but more than that, Jesus loves you.

 And maybe, when a little extra income surprises you – a raise, a bonus, an inheritance, a tax refund, or some other unexpected blessing – remember to share and pass that blessing on.

 Many of us are giving all we can. And I honor that; I honor you. But I also know that many of us aren’t giving all we can – not even close. We aren’t giving until it hurts; in fact, we’re barely even feeling it. Maybe you haven’t stepped up your giving in a while. Maybe you give when you think about it, when you happen to come, when you remember to put some money in your pocket on the way out the door. Our church is currently operating at a deficit; we are sustaining many of our ministries thanks to the generous investments of the saints who’ve gone before us. And we are grateful for those gifts, for those investments in the church’s future, for those who made sure their ministry would outlive them – and if you haven’t thought about it yet, what legacy are you going to leave behind you when the day comes? Will you remember the ministries of the church in your estate? Whom will you bless, even after you’re gone?

 Friends, I am so grateful for the legacy that brought us this far, and for the generosity of each one of you and of the saints who’ve gone before. But I firmly believe that we are at a crucial moment in our church’s story: and I believe, with all my heart, that God is not finished with us yet.

 The question is: do you believe it? And are you willing to commit to the work, to invest in the vision, to support the worship, the discipleship, the fellowship, the missions of this body in this place?

 In the future, when they tell our story, will they say: this was the season when the church was afraid; when giving dried up, and they circled the wagons, and anxiously counted the sacks of flour we had left? Or will this be the season when we keep moving, when we trust God enough to lighten the load – to share and use what we have, to dream big and give bigger, to trust that, by God’s grace, there will be more than enough to get us where God is calling us to go?

 May they know us by our faith. May they know us by our generosity. And above all, may they know us by our love.

   We thank you, God, for the saints who’ve gone before us; we stand in awe of the legacy we’ve inherited – and we also stand in awe of the opportunities you’ve given us. We find ourselves in a crucial moment: will we plan for the future with hope, or with fear? Will we be known for our stinginess, or will we be known for our generosity? We pray, Lord, that the world will know us by our love. We pray that you would make us like the earliest church, people united in heart and mind, a community of people committed to caring for one another and to sharing the good news with the world. Send your Spirit on us, as we make our promises and our pledges for the coming year. Fill us with hope; fill us with courage; fill us with peace. In Christ’s name we pray; amen.

[1] Lloyd C. Douglas, The Living Faith. http://www.sermonillustrations.com/a-z/s/stewardship.htm

[2] https://pushpay.com/blog/church-giving-statistics/

[3] The average American Christian donates a little over $800/year; Muslims on average donate more than $1300, and Jews $1440. https://www.cheatsheet.com/money-career/average-church-religion-donation.html/

[4] People with a salary of less than $20K are eight times more likely to give than someone who makes $75K. https://pushpay.com/blog/church-giving-statistics/