#if she had chosen to stay with ken there was a chance that it would have failed so hard

[daniel-day-lewis-nemesis]

so ive slept on it now and i think i have my one thought to share on the succession finale. i see a general sentiment that shiv “lost” or “chose to stay in the cage” or “conceded to becoming her mom”

however, i think we’re overlooking the context of shiv’s other option. if shiv goes with kendall and roman, then she’s resigning herself to working under an unstable family member who will never really share power (just like it was with logan). its not an agreement to share, it’s conceding to be pushed out again.

if she pushes the deal through, then she is out of the company. she gets “mommed” and her access to waystar is now routed through a husband and a future child she already resents.

either way she would be forced to give up the power she had, so she hardly had a choice at all. there was no way to win here for shiv. (or roman for that matter)

shiv may have chose to push the deal through for a multitude of reasons, selfish or altruistic, but i think she might have done it just to get the satisfaction of making her own choice. she lost power, but by her own hand.

[digitalgate02]

DigiTimeLines: Document format [pt2]

[part 1] | [AO3 version] | @digimonadventuretimelines (blog; outdated)

Part 2 is not totally focused on the next villain arc, but a few arcs involving a few kids and foreshadowing for the next segment (yes, part 3 confirmed, but not sure if it will be the closure to this big plotline) -- also there's some canon divergence in it, but this is a multiverse story project, so different sources of canon can still exist in their own timelines.

[pixel Crest art by Lurils & me]

The Prelude To A New Enemy

No one knew how to explain what happened to Motomiya Daisuke. He was alive, of course, but in front of them all was… A small dog-like baby digimon with fur resembling Daisuke’s hair in color and style. In other words, he looked like a Pomeranian dog. Koushiro labeled that digimon form as “Pomeranimon” but Daisuke hated the idea of being called like that!!

Oddly, his voice sounded babyish and childish (like in Hurricane Touchdown movie) instead of the voice of an adult man. Taichi wanted more to know what happened after he got captured, but Daisuke being alive and safe now was enough for him. Ken is the one who deserved to know that info (but Taichi still wanted to know, so were the others in the room) -- but Daisuke says he’s too tired to talk. Miyako grabs her tiny and furry husband and starts demanding him to explain things NOW, and he just agrees to.

At first, Daisuke and Wingdramon managed to beat the enemies but couldn’t go home. They knew if they opened the gate, the enemies would go after Ken… So they stayed on the run and tried to survive. It was when a strange thing happened -- they met a strange Digimental in the jungle, being secured by the foe’s army. So this was the thing they were looking for, right? Something something Digimental of… Darkness? He didn’t remember very well of that part. But Ken was needed because of the Digivice of Darkness. They were trying to bring the Kaiser back and then use it to show how the humans were evil beings only interested in turning every digimon their slaves.

Daisuke and V-mon thought about taking that Digimental with them before they could use it, but Papillonmon appeared and threw those shadow butterflies against them. Then, that vile digimon forced Daisuke to use that Digimental on V-mon, armor evolving him into a black-armored Magnamon. Papillonmon then used his special attack to transform Daisuke into a digimon and labeled it Lupinmon. Since then, Daisuke and V-mon were fighting hard to regain control of their bodies but couldn’t for much longer.

It was when Magnamon ordered Natsu to go back and ask for the group’s help, but she ended up being chased by the evil enemies for five years and had no chance to get back to the human world until that day she met Daichi.

As Daisuke finishes his report, he yawns and falls asleep in Miyako’s hands. She’s about to shake him to keep him awake when Daichi intervenes saying to let him rest for a while. The adults are quite upset with their children, but they are at least relieved everyone was back and safe. Taichi tries to talk with them, but Taisuke just says he only wants to shield them, and he leaves stomping his feet on the floor. Hikari looks at Taichi, as if she knew something was wrong with them all, but she couldn’t blame those kids for trying something risky: They did the same around their ages too.

Ken mutters that they were chosen in the past, but then they made the choice to stand up and fight. Have Taichi forgotten that?

Kiyoko and Eiji follow Taisuke, trying to talk with the boy that maybe the adults were afraid of their old friend killing their children. Daichi and Hoshi come later, but Daichi seems… off. They ask what’s wrong and the kid says something is not right. Why would Papillonmon let Daisuke and Magnamon set free all of a sudden? Kiyoko gasps, ‘Are you saying dad is still in his hands!?’ but Daichi denies it, and adds that it was another thing.

What thing? The thing is… He didn’t see that Digimental his father mentioned there. So, obviously… Papillonmon retrieved it from Magnamon before leaving the Manticoremon soldiers try to get rid of them all. This made Eiji muse about that detail: Maybe Daisuke is still under Papillonmon’s spell, but not under his control. Hence why he’s still a digimon, but devolved this time. Hoshi asks if this means her dad is in danger again, and the group only assumed this could mean ‘yes’, yet they had nothing in hand to confirm their suspicions.

Would the adults believe them? Not without Daisuke and V-mon’s help.

Space-Time Traveling, Again

Once Daisuke and Chibimon had their energies recovered they were kidnapped by Kiyoko and Taisuke. The iconic 2-TOP duo were facing the children’s eyes and watching them mutter something to each other. Daisuke loses his patience, as if he was a teacher finding his classroom was merged into chaos while he was out. Mirai finds this whole situation enjoyable! A human turned into a digimon!? This must be studied! Mitsuki jokes about Mirai wanting to dissect the poor Daisuke-mon and Kiyoko snaps at them! NO ONE IS GOING TO LEND A HAND ON HIS FLOPPY FUR! (Daisuke, annoyed: Stop reminding me that I have fur!!)

Reika asks them all to behave and respect Daisuke, because he’s still an adult. Though he felt that form humiliating, only to have Elise scratch the back of his dog ear. Somehow this helped him to relax… Well, he’s stuck in that form until Koushiro can fix it. Chibimon complains, he wants to be pampered too! Elise uses her free hand to scratch Chibimon’s belly, who feels so pleased and relaxed… Until Natsu switches to Digimon form in order to get some belly rubs too. Elise complains, she can’t give love to all of them at the same time!! Her partner Zebra also complains because he wanted Elise’s attention too. She calls for the others’ help, and then Jin tells all of the digimon to stop bugging Elise.

Daichi calls everyone’s attention to their main topic, and Daisuke raises an eyebrow: What is it? His son then asks him if he or Chibimon had seen the Digimental he mentioned again, when they regained consciousness -- Daisuke and Chibimon looked at each other for a moment: OH NO, they forgot about the Digimental!! Daichi and the other kids grimace when they hear that.

Daisuke laughs nervously, and dramatically cries about him being stupid. Taisuke says, in his most tsun way, that it wasn’t his fault if he was brainwashed. The rest look at the boy, who snaps at them for that: I WAS JUST STATING THE FACTS, Y’KNOW!? Daichi wonders if he should go back in time and secure the Digimental, but Natsu says that could be wrong!

Daisuke muses that they could go back a bit further in time, but he thinks it’s risky and he should leave it to Ken and the others. Eiji counter-arguments the enemies might be after his dad now. With no other options, Daisuke sighs. He knows if he allows those children to risk their lives, their parents might unleash their wrath on him. Ulforce suggests they send just Daichi and him there, but Daisuke says they don’t know what they’re looking for! Mike suggests he describe the Digimental and that they would draw it, like the police do with suspects. Chibimon shrugs, can Daisuke be able to describe something? Daisuke squints his eyes at his own partner, and decides to go with that suggestion.

As Daisuke described the Digimental, the kids’ best artist -- Reika -- tried to capture the image in the paper. When she finished, they all looked at it. Taisuke says it looks like “a World’s Cup trophy-thing, but in cold colors” and everyone glanced at him. He does “What? I think it’s what I see here! Evil Soccer Cup’s Trophy.” -- Hoshi growls, this wasn’t the right hour to think about soccer!! Daisuke, with a deadpan face, looks at the kids and just agrees with Taisuke.

They have a plan, and then Daichi now tells them to keep everyone, mr. Ichijouji Ken included, safe while he’s out. The kids agree. Daisuke says he wants to go, but Natsu says she and Ulforce can protect Daichi for him. With everyone’s agreement, Daichi, Ulforce and Natsu go to the Dimensional Space dungeon again.

Daisuke still thinks everything is his fault, so he asks Taisuke, Hoshi and Eiji to take him to Taichi and Ken. Chibimon cannot evolve if Daisuke can’t use his digivice, so they have to be protected by those kids.

Hard Task: Talking to Taichi & Ken

The Ichijouji siblings could manage to call Ken for a small talk with Daisuke, but can Taisuke contact his dad for this too? The answer is… There’s a lot happening between Taichi and his son, Taisuke definitely hates the fact his dad is a busy man and since this whole crisis started, Taichi didn’t get time to rest and be with him and his mother. So, Taisuke is definitely out of his reach right now. But Daisuke needs to talk with Taichi immediately -- Maybe the best scenario would’ve been with both at the same time.

Hoshi knows Taisuke has a beef with her uncle Taichi. Eiji knows Hoshi and Taisuke do not get along either. And he’s a shy person, a bookworm. He cannot raise his voice and stop any clash between his sister and his cousin-and-best-friend.

Daisuke frowns: This is too much for him. If he were still human he could act as the responsible adult he is, but as a… digimon? He’s small and cannot do much! So, he had to count on Eiji for this. The moment Hoshi and Taisuke started arguing about how to call Taichi, things began overwhelming Eiji. The digimon with them were trying to help to reach a conclusion, but those two human children are hard to deal with.

Daisuke tries to call them out, but yup. His small dog-like shape cannot stop those two. Kitty, Sting and Draki as well, they were almost arguing between themselves too. It is when Eiji snaps and shouts. His hair went all over his face, resembling Ken in his child days. He tells them to stop, that this wouldn’t help anyone and that mr. Motomiya wanted their help for something important! Everyone glances at the boy in shock. Daisuke blinks, and comments this reminded him of when Ken used to snap at the others when he got angry. Eiji starts apologizing for that, that he didn’t want to… But Daisuke smiles at him and says he didn’t do anything wrong. Everyone agrees, they were wasting their time with that nonsense.

Eiji comments that if they get to talk to their dad first, they can manage to get him to call uncle Taichi with his help. Chibimon wonders if this is possible. Daisuke muses that as well, it’s not like Taichi and Ken hate each other, but they’re always kinda… awkward together… The kids agree with this too. But if this could help fight the enemy, they will cooperate with each other.

Taichi and Ken managed to meet with their kids and Daisuke. Their digimon were also present, because this is about their enemy. Daisuke took a deep breath before he could reveal something he knew. Then, when he starts… Everyone’s eyes were widened:

The enemy was trying to bring the Kaiser back, yes, but they also wanted to use him to invoke a greater threat to the world: Imperialdramon. They wanted to use Imperialdramon’s power to cause havoc in the human world, and force the humans to banish every digimon from their world, and then closing the gates around the human world.

Ken stroked his chin: This means the problem was bigger than he thought. At least it wasn’t related to some-other-digimon-he-knew (aka Millenniummon) so he was a little relieved. Chibimon could sense Wormmon was in shock, and then he added that they learned that while he and Daisuke were trying to steal the Digimental of Darkness before they could snatch it.

But that didn’t work, of course. Taichi asks why they didn't tell him before, and Daisuke looks at the floor and stays quiet. Taisuke mutters something like ‘You’re always busy, ol’ man’ which is heard by the digimon and Daisuke (because, since he’s in a digimon form his senses are pretty superhuman now) and they look at the boy. Daisuke babbles immediately that he couldn’t do that before but now he did it. Chibimon adds that Daisuke and him were ashamed of getting captured and brainwashed.

Ken muses if he is still a target, after all… Daisuke has been rescued and is back to his senses now. Daisuke frowns, he’s concerned about this form though -- If he’s really free from Papillonmon’s control. Taichi understands what that meant, and tells the kids to leave Daisuke and Chibimon with the police. Hoshi says in a serious tone that she thinks this is too harsh on them. Daisuke smiles and says Taichi’s right, he and Chibimon might still be under the enemies control and he is asking for surveillance too. Eiji frowns, but he leaves Daisuke and Chibimon in Taichi and Agumon’s hands. Kiyoko is going to kill us -- Taisuke whispers to the Ichijouji siblings. Daisuke sighs, and then makes it clear to the kids are aware that he heard them -- It’s for their children’s safety. And then entrusts Daichi and Kiyoko to those three.

Taisuke blushes, somehow. He didn’t expect to get an important task like that. Taichi and Ken ask Daisuke if this was okay and then Daisuke nods -- Those were the children who rescued him after all, and they all should trust them like their families trusted them all to beat Apocalymon and Vamdemon ages ago. Taichi nods and smiles -- Yup, they’re our children after all.

Searching for the Digimental of Darkness

Daichi, Ulforce and Natsu were looking at the infinite number of doors in that space. Ulforce wonders if they can find the right door since all of them are the same! Daichi smirks and says he had been labeling all the doors they opened with a label printer he had borrowed from Mitsuki. Natsu and Ulforce are impressed, but did he label the first door too? He reveals he had brought it with him since the first time they did space-time travel. Ulforce says HOW, but then Natsu reminds him they had been there briefly before Daichi’s decision to use that gimmick to save Daisuke.

Still, there’s a ton of doors unlabeled yet. So how could they find the one leading them to the time Daisuke and V-mon found the Digimental? Natsu suggests asking ClavisAngemon and that mysterious hooded person.

And, since she was “basically ominous” just by that mention, the woman in the hood appears in front of them. She also summons ClavisAngemon in order to lend the trio a hand. The woman notices the label printer in Daichi’s hands and asks why he had that in hands. The boy says since all of those doors have the same design and no labels, they couldn’t know where they were going, so he decided to label them by himself. She laughs kindly and reveals they could’ve used the digivice for that, since the D-TimeRune can scan the doors and point out where they could go through them. The trio stares at her, and screams in a very angry tone: WHY DIDN’T YOU TELL US FIRST!? 

Daichi takes a deep breath to calm down. He just then breathes out, and shows the drawing to them -- They needed to find the door leading them to this Digimental, a door from their timeline. ClavisAngemon and the woman gasp, and her eyes are widened too. They ask why they are looking for that forbidden power, and Natsu informs them that the enemy in their timeline-bar-world had acquired and used it to put a DigiChosen against them. The woman was aware of that as well, since she can see through the doors about the past, present and the future. She is actually an overseer entity.

The trio uses the digivice this time, finding the correct door and opening it. But to their surprise, the door leads them to the human world instead. There they find a girl named Nishikawa Yume, whose appearance was pretty… familiar. She’s partnered with a YukiAgumon called Blitz. Yume knew those three were suspicious, and believed they came from the future. She’s basically the same age as him (14yo). Daichi ignored that girl and focused on finding the Digimental of Darkness quickly, BUT it felt like an impossible quest: The place Daisuke said to be where he and V-mon found it… Has no Digimental when they got there. Finding it too suspicious, Natsu uses her pendant to move through time and reach the moment the Digimental appeared. EXCEPT Yume and Blitz managed to sneak into their magical bubble-shield and witness their secret. Ulforce gets annoyed by those two, but Daichi interrupts him and asks how they got there. Yume smiles and says she knows what they’re looking for, and offers to help them, in return for a favor. What is her deal? To use Daichi’s power in order to protect someone important to her. Natsu finds it fishy, but the boy accepts the offer and makes a deal with that girl. Yume then mentions the existence of a dark passage in that area, leading them to another parallel realm where the Digimental is locked to not be caught by no one. Ulforce asks how she knows that, and she says better they do not know.

Small Yet Helpful

Koushiro, Jou and Miyako were studying Daisuke’s Pomeranimon form. They had Gennai’s help as well, but it seemed that none of them could find an answer to why Daisuke is still a digimon. Daisuke was afraid of him still being under Papillonmon’s control, hence why he asked to be kept locked and under surveillance. What if he hurts someone!? He would never forgive himself if something like that happens. Miyako ran a few more tests on Daisuke, ones that could detect digimon’s coding and digital waves on him, but thankfully nothing was found. So, something else was preventing Daisuke from returning back to his original human form. But what?

Mirai drops by and asks the adults if she could help in something, but they are still not sure if they could let her do anything. They just ask her to keep protecting the digimon and humans while they work on it. Mirai fakes a smile and then leaves. But at night she just comes back and kidnaps Pomeranimon. 

When Daisuke asks her why she says she’s just upset that no one wants her giving them a hand because she’s seen as too young for that. Except she’s too smart compared to the children from her age, and this makes her frustrated because she does not know what to do then -- adults say she’s too young to help them, and children around her age say she’s too different from them to play with her. The exceptions were Taisuke and Elise (who are the same age as her), because they also feel different and weird. Daisuke frowns, and she says she wants to be a “normal” person. Daisuke replies saying it’s okay to be different, and that people should accept her for who she is. He knows Koushiro’s reasons to refuse Mirai’s help was due to the fear of him still being under the enemy’s power… So he reveals that to her. He also says maybe she could help him out, but that they kept that a secret from the others. Mirai asks what it is, and then he says “Be yourself, do what you do the best. Leave the adults to me.” With this, Mirai nods and says she will then use her expertise to find out how to bring him back to normal, but Daisuke asks her another favor -- to help Daichi as much as she can for him.

All of those requests given to the children… They sounded like either Daichi was in trouble, or Daisuke was about to die. But rest assured, it’s just Daisuke being a dramatic dad and wanting Daichi’s friends to help his son as much as they can.

Mirai and Daisuke’s convo are interrupted by a Phantomon. The small pup form for Daisuke wasn’t able to beat a Perfect level digimon, and yet…!! Mirai calls for Koh (the KoKabuterimon) help, who evolves into Kabuterimon and faces the enemy. Koh is not used to fighting, so all he does is prevent Phantomon from capturing Mirai and Daisuke. He grabs them and retreats, but Phantomon chases them. Daisuke knows he has to do something, but… Heh, he just jumps from Mirai’s arms and throws himself at Phantomon’s face. Mirai and Koh scream, and then… Mirai’s digivice shoots a light on Daisuke’s Pomeranimon form.

He evolves… Back to Lupinmon -- Except it’s Fairytail Mode Lupinmon. That new digimon form is stronger and he destroys Phantomon, but before destroying it, he snatches something from the digimon’s robes and is caught by Koh. Mirai wonders if she just formed a link with Daisuke and he’s also confused -- So, this digimon form can be linked to digivices!? Can he link himself to his old D-3 and then evolve V-mon again!? Maybe… Sure, why not try it!?

The Digimental of Darkness’ Hidden Dimension

How did Yume know about that? They were told that they were better not to know the answer, but they would go investigate that later. They managed to go there without her and Blitz, so they could have a talk about what they think of her at least. Daichi’s opinion is maybe she has a reason to not tell them where she got that info, Natsu and Ulforce’s are she’s fishy, better not trust her at all. 

Said Digimental was there, Ulforce and Natsu could feel it, though they couldn’t see it. But before that, what would they do? Grab the Digimental and leave? According to Daisuke’s report, the enemy had secured the Digimental and was hunting Ken down for his digivice. But what were Daisuke & V-mon thinking to do next? Just flee? Hide the Digimental? Take it to Koushiro or Gennai? Destroy it? They had no idea what they should DO with that thing!!

Of course Daichi was aware of how Digimentals work -- you say “Digimental Up!” and then it activated the Armor Evolution. But Daichi also knew Ulforce is a V-mon, and V-mon species had an affinity to Digimentals. He wouldn’t risk turning Ulforce or Natsu into a feral monster and let them run amok. They needed a strategy.

Searching the area for the Digimental they found its guardian -- Aegiochusmon: Dark. Prepared for battle, Daichi puts Ulforce and Natsu on hold and tries to explain to Aegiochusmon why they were there. Aegiochusmon understood them, but it’s when they learn that the changes in the past wouldn’t erase/destroy the future or present, and yes that Daichi was creating new alternative timelines for them all. But how did Aegiochusmon know that? Daichi was in denial now. Natsu stays silent, and Ulforce tries to attack with his V-Bracelets. Aegiochusmon then repels the plasma shots and threatens to send them to the null area if they don’t leave.

Daichi keeps refusing that information, Ulforce orders Aegiochusmon to give them the Digimental, but the other refuses to. Natsu grabs both Ulforce and Daichi, thanks Aegiochusmon and leaves immediately. The boys complain hard and criticize her behavior, but she ignores them. Daichi was feeling she was hiding something from them. Then, she suggests they find the Digimental of Miracles to counter-attack the Digimental of Darkness. Ulforce wonders why Miracles and not Light -- The Digimental of Light is the opposite of the Digimental of Darkness after all. The logic lied more in the sacred power and high defensive stats the Digimental of Miracles could give them.

With this… They returned to their present again.

Another Kind of Trouble (?)

Remember when I said there’s two main enemies before? The other issue making Taichi lose brain cells to put an end to the conflict was the anti-digimon people. Despite having the entire world’s populace partnered with digimon, some of those people hated them and had awful relationships with the digimon -- might become a bit heavy here, but -- such as abusing them, harming them and even trying to end their lives… Or using them for crimes.

Criminals are “easy” to deal with, at least. You arrest the human and send their partner to some sort of a victim protection program to keep the digimon safer from the toxic human tamer… And then “undo” their partnership -- not that they end the connection between human and digimon, but they send it back to the Digital World to be taken care of by a special group of caregivers formed by digimon and humans habiting the DW.

As for abuse, harm or murder attempt cases… Those are harder and it’s just like what happens to human beings, but they couldn’t let the digimon return to those people’s hands. So they’re completely sent to the same group of caregivers and under the victim protection program. Things might be harder than dealing with a human being though, and no one wants those digimon victims to be devolved into digiegg stage.

The rest of the Neo Chosen group is focused on saving the digimon from bad partners, while Daichi is out. They’re forced to protect the digimon before the human partner triggers a dark evolution and go amok, so many times those kids had no other choice but revert the wild feral dark evolution into an egg or baby form. With the help of the police, the adults would arrest the toxic tamer and never let their digimon see them again -- unless they redeem themselves and repent for their actions. Because yeah, those kids and their parents/relatives would hope for the best and happy ending.

But digimon taking control over their partners also exist. Criminal digimon abusing their human partners, forcing them to commit crimes, to evolve them so they could hurt and destroy stuff also exist and are on the top of the list for things the Neo Chosen and their families have to combat. In this case the human is protected from the digimon, and the digimon is forced back to digiegg state. 

Some of those cases ended up with the rest of the kids unlocked Adult and Perfect evolution for their partners:

Elise: BlackGabumon → B.Garurumon and B.WereGarurumon

Mike: Floramon → Sunflowmon and Lilamon

Jin: Kamemon → Gawappamon and Shawujinmon

Reika: Armadimon → Ankylomon and Triceramon

Mitsuki: Tsukaimon → Pidmon and HolyAngemon

Mirai’s partner, Koh, would super evolve later, but at this point she was just busy working behind the curtains and working as some sort of navigator-esque character.

Another problem they have to face is people very Menoa-like trying to build mindless human-made digimon for military and war purposes. Taichi & co. hated this case so badly that the authorities and agents like Yamada Kyotaro (also known by “Imura Kyotaro”) would put a stop on any program or project involving this kind of research and manufacture.

But a part of their worries was definitely Papillonmon’s plans -- where did he go and what will he do now?

Clash Between Daichi and Soleil

The “Space trio” -- Soleil, Lune and Étoile -- kept working on their own way: In the shadows and doing the sneaky job. They met with Daichi in the meantime, when the boy was seeking for the Holy Beasts. Soleil uses a prophetic voice tone saying Daichi is too soft for the world-saving job and that he was selected as the savior of the worlds by Homeostasis. Natsu and Ulforce definitely argue with Soleil that Homeostasis don’t go and threaten people like him. Soleil is so sure Daichi, Ulforce and Natsu are disobeying the “divine” orders and unleashes his fury on them -- claiming himself to be the embodiment of Justice.

A fight happens between Flaremon and AeroV-dramon. Lune realizes Ulforce is an interesting digimon specimen and tells Lekismon to stop the fight by putting Flaremon and AeroV-dramon in sleep. Soleil growls at the interruption, but he calms down when Lune justifies just letting Daichi and co. roll with it, because things would’ve been more “interesting” -- no one besides Lune herself knew what that meant (it means she wanted to study Daichi’s methods and philosophy, that’s it.)

Étoile suspiciously drops a card on Natsu, asking to meet her later… Without Daichi and Ulforce. The card also meant it wasn’t a trap, just a human-to-digimon talk. Natsu accepts the terms, and waits for Étoile later, on a… Digimon bar. This bar had everything -- Alcohol and non-alcohol, also oil and other non-human drinks. Why would a human kid want to meet her there?!

Turns out that… Étoile is not human.

Natsu noticed it by the fact Étoile did not appear as Étoile, and yes as an enigmatic and elusive digimon named Arsenemon. He was like her and Arukenimon & Mummymon, or Bakemon species -- a digimon able to shapeshift into a human being. He had chosen that form in order to hide from Lupinmon and protect his archnemesis Herlockmon -- now devolved into a purple Pokomon/Viximon subspecies. Natsu realized something was familiar to her… Daisuke was Lupinmon, but he did not turn back to normal and just reverted into a small baby II level digimon after he was rescued. Could this mean…??

Arsenemon says that he’s aware that Daisuke did not do anything purposely and was a victim, but he was so done with Papillonmon and his lackeys for that. But he also suspected that someone was pretending to be Homeostasis and just manipulating Soleil and Lune under the curtains. Natsu nods in agreement -- Homeostasis does not talk like that at all, they’re not a god-like figure, it’s just a security system for the Digital World.

But who?

The Holy Beast, Yume and Daichi

Before continuing, Daichi and co returned and reported to Daisuke and the others about their discoveries -- Daisuke got a little sad they couldn’t prevent it from happening, but Eiji says that might be for a good cause… They talked to the adults about this too, and then Ken mused about Natsu’s idea to use the Digimental of Miracles to counter the Digimental of Darkness. Yet they had no idea what would happen next, like what Papillonmon would do, or if there’s a way to bring Daisuke back to normal. Then, he asked the kids to search for an old acquaintance of the group, one of the Holy Beasts he and the others had met before in their childhood. Daisuke suggested going with them, but Hikari quietly asked if it was safe to let Daisuke go with them in this state. Koushiro interrupted them saying there’s still something off with Daisuke and they couldn’t take their eyes off him. When the kids asked why, Daisuke changed his mind and said he must stay under surveillance. Mirai frowned, this didn’t sound correct…

Actually Daisuke, for being able to “evolve” into Lupinmon again because of Mirai… Had made Daisuke himself concerned of not being free from Papillonmon’s power, not from his mind control (this one was already undone by Daichi) -- so he feared running amok soon or later.

Now, after facing Soleil and Natsu had talked with Étoile… the trio plus Taisuke, Kiyoko, Eiji and Hoshi wander through the Digital World, as a group. They ran through a few issues, but nothing big. To meet the Holy Beasts, they have to contact one of the Digital World’s agents (aka Gennai’s kind, or Gennai himself) -- But this is where they… had no idea how to meet an agent.

Yume appears with her partner YukiAgumon (named Blitz) and she asks Daichi if he got what he wanted. The others minus Natsu and Ulforce glance at Daichi and “do you know this girl?” but Daichi completely ignores their question and replies to Yume with a nod and adds that he couldn’t get the Digimental but they came up with another plan to countermeasure it. Then, Yume asks what it is and Hoshi whispers to Daichi to not tell that girl anything… Except he ignores his friends again and tells Yume that they’re looking for the Holy Beasts.

Yume smiles and says she knows those digimon, making everyone exclaim in shock. Natsu raises an eyebrow because how could that human girl know the Holy Beasts? That’s fishy…!!

But Yume takes them to the area where the one she knows the most reigns and it’s…

Baihumon. 

Kiyoko blinks, “Shouldn’t we be meeting a blue dragon instead?” and the group confirms it. Yume says Baihumon is an old acquaintance of her father, and that they barely meet nowadays. Taisuke wonders if the Holy Beasts are all partnered with humans and then Eiji -- in his very smart aleck mode -- remembers them about the fact some books and digimon folklore mentions that four of the five Chosen Children digimon have ascended into the final form as the Holy Beasts. Ulforce, Natsu and the rest of the digimon confirm it. Taisuke then asks what happened to the fifth digimon from that group and then none of the digimon or Eiji knew. Yume then slips something like “they died in combat” and Daichi frowns, he goes straight to the point: “Are you related to the fifth Chosen and their digimon?”

Baihumon interrupts them, asking why Yume brought those people and digimon to him. She gently says they’re looking for the Digimental of Miracles, to counter the power of the Digimental of Darkness. Baihumon seems surprised by the mention of that wicked Digimental, and then asks the kids what happened to its guardian. Again, none of them know what happened to Aegiochusmon: Dark, but Taisuke jumps into the conclusion that that guardian had betrayed everyone! Eiji thinks the most realistic conclusion is either that or that the enemies beat the guardian.

Daichi wasn’t that interested in the theories revolving around what happened to Aegiochusmon, but he definitely got some interest on Yume’s behavior when Taisuke asked about what happened to the fifth kid and their partner digimon. But this is everything Yume wanted, actually -- to lure Daichi into her own selfish plan.

Baihumon then decides he will talk to the other Holy Beasts and pass their reports to them, he’s a courteous but not so friendly digimon though, but he kept contact with human beings because of Qinglongmon and his human partner. Seems like he was hiding something too, considering he didn’t say anything regarding his fifth old comrade… Hoshi notices that Daichi is too quiet to the point it’s suspicious, so once they’re back to the human world she asks him what’s going on. Daichi mentions he’s not very sure why, but both Baihumon and Yume were acting strangely when Taisuke asked that question, and Taisuke himself starts wondering if they should investigate that. Kiyoko and Eiji remind them that there’s a digi-crisis happening right now and they shouldn’t get distracted by this. Hoshi suspiciously agrees with Taisuke -- that they should go with it. The kids look at Natsu for a while, and she shrugs. It’s futile to discuss with them, but she also thinks it won’t hurt to research about some fellow Chosen Child while they wait for the Holy Beasts’ decision.

Meeting Baihumon’s Human Partner

With the power of Mirai and Mitsuki’s investigative skills, the group reach a man running a coffee shop in Tokyo called Nishijima Daigo. He was possibly in his late forties and was different from the kind of partner the group had thought of -- He was a completely charismatic, caring and lovely person… Also a walking mess.

Meeting mr. Nishijima made Daichi even more curious about Yume’s true personality -- there was something off in her, yet something… familiar. The kids ask the man about the Digital World he had met in the past, and his reaction is… He completely changed his mood to someone more serious. He asks those young Chosen how did they know about him and his connection to Baihumon, and then Hoshi says his daughter told them. He almost burns his coffee brew by the mention of Yume. He sighs, so she’s doing that again huh… But how they knew about his child was a mystery. Daichi then explains to the man that they met before, a few years ago in 2024 during a mission (he’s not sure IF he can give the details of holding the power to space-time travel though… So not many people are aware of Daichi having said power… yet) and it makes Nishijima wonder which kind of mission would this kid have been involved in to cross with Yume’s path.

It doesn’t matter, Nishijima then tells them to not let her convince them from doing something risky. This makes Eiji raise an eyebrow -- What does Nishijima mean? It’s when the man writes down a few things on a paper napkin and hands it to Natsu (assuming she’s an adult human and responsible for them) with the vague phrase of “Do not let her know about this, but search it by yourselves.” 

They left after a brief break to eat a few pastries and non-alcohol drinks from the café, praising Nishijima’s cuisine and cooking skills -- which made the man go back to his good mood and bubbly personality.

Once they left, they had to think about where to go to search for… a person named Himekawa Maki. Eiji suggests them searching in the Digital World’s library -- the Tree of Knowledge. That sounded like a good plan!! But Taisuke just thinks they should ask for Mirai’s help. They look at the boy for a moment and Daichi says, with a deadpan face, “Both? Both. Both is good” -- The mention of that meme makes them realize Daichi is in better shape than he was years ago. So they go to the Tree of Knowledge with Mirai and Koh.

Himekawa Maki’s Secret Life

Nishijima didn’t clarify things enough. The kids and their mons were wondering what kind of role this Himekawa Maki person would have in Yume’s life, but then they would just find a picture of this person in the database and realize that… Himekawa Maki is Yume’s mother.

Or to be more accurate, was.They learned through those archives that she died in a digimon incident after she had given birth to Yume, months later.

The causes of her death weren’t totally depicted to the public archives, which lead the kids to think something more and more serious had happened and their parents had to hide from the public. If they ask their families, there is a high chance of leading them to more misleadings than someone being pretty honest about this. Something… Maybe Nishijima wanted to hide that from Yume and asked them all to keep it a secret? So Ulforce asks them what they should do now, and then Taisuke dramatically gestures to the Know-It-All Genius Junior Izumi Mirai. Oh, that was Taisuke’s backup plan!! There’s nothing that Mirai cannot discover!!

So Mirai starts inspecting the files, the database and even running into some archives protected by password. Seeing a key requirement made them believe that yeah, there’s something behind this all and they had to pass by a permission key wall. It’s when Mirai chuckles and starts bragging about her new ‘gimmick’ -- a virtual replica of the Digimental of Knowledge, containing the Digimental data stored into her D-TimeRune Digivice. Everyone was so impressed by that that they wondered how she managed to get a Digimental for that, and then she said she copied the data from mr. Hida’s digivice.

But why should they use a Digimental data to bypass the permission wall? And then, she reveals about Koh’s armor evolution -- Searchmon. Everyone isn’t sure what that meant, but then she proceeds to demonstrate that trick. She armor evolves Koh with that data to Searchmon, and then Koh uses his Jamming Hertz special move on the wall. Thanks to it, the wall malfunctioned and then it opened the files, as if the key was input. Taisuke asks how she did that, and then Eiji theorizes that Searchmon’s attack might have worked as some sort of key-gen and generated a permission key to access those archives. Hoshi asks why wouldn’t they just protect those archives with a strong password and then Taisuke smirks and gushes that Mirai would’ve found her own way to bypass that too. Kiyoko reminds them that her and Daichi’s mother is an excellent hacker too, so it wouldn’t be that hard. (Was Kiyoko jealous? Who knows~)

Once they get access to those files, they start reading them all and looking for anything that could lead to answers… Until Kiyoko finds out something. 

The group gathers to the screen she was reading and they learn that Himekawa and Nishijima were part of a prior group, one before ambassador Yagami’s group. And that those five kids faced the Dark Masters trio, but they were beaten. Himekawa’s anger led Megadramon (Bakumon’s perfect level form) to evolve further and then become Mugendramon -- who would later be corrupted and then become the forth Dark Master. The other four kids and their digimon had unlocked the form of the Holy Beasts for their partners and they had no other choice but destroy Mugendramon, reverting it into a corrupted Digiegg. Gennai and the others had to hide this secret from Himekawa for ages, that Bakumon’s egg had hatched later and then that Mugendramon turned into the same tyrant ruler of the Metal Empire area ambassador Yagami and the others had faced in 1999. This secret was kept from everyone else, so none of the Tokyo Twelve (Taichi and Daisuke groups, actually) were aware of it. But Himekawa ended up doing everything she could to bring Bakumon back from the Dark Area, leading to a brand new digimon crisis… And in the end, she was killed by her own partner once she managed to get Mugendramon’s data. This was months after she and Nishijima had a child on October 19 2013, named Yume. Nishijima begged everyone to hide this info from his daughter, so of course he and Baihumon wouldn’t say anything about it.

But… Does it mean Yume learned the truth? She was kinda bugged by Taisuke’s question and Daichi mentions he heard her saying “they died in combat” -- so maybe Yume's not aware of the truth, but maybe some sort of fakery story where her mother died as some heroine?

Yes. Yume’s story about her mother was totally covering the bad parts of it: She was trying to help the Chosen Children, but sacrificed herself in order to save everyone.

No one noticed until now, but Mirai had brought Daisuke inside her purse (because… She was convinced that he wasn’t a baddie anymore, and they were bonding quite well as mentor-mentee) and he did witness the entire story. He gets out from the purse and exclaims that they never had imagined that! The kids get surprised by this sneaky Pomeranimon and Mirai babbles that she couldn’t leave him inside a cage like a lab rat! Hoshi says she shouldn’t have done that, because they don’t know if mr. Motomiya is trustworthy in this form. Kiyoko growls “Huh? Are you saying MY dad is sketchy and cannot be trusted!?” but Daisuke interrupts the possible fight to remind them they don’t know if he’s totally free from Papillonmon’s power. But Eiji’s curious about why Mirai would bring him with her, it didn’t feel like she was just taking him for a walk (Daisuke: Hey! Stop treating me like I’m a pet!! 💦) and she confesses she just thought he could help them out too, also having access to the data there could help her to find a way to turn him back into a human being.

Could this be possible? Well, if you’re in a place with tons of information and it’s called “Tree of Knowledge”, it might have the answer to that main issue. At least it’s what Mirai thought.

But going back to the main subject, Daichi realizes that “Nishikawa” might not be her real name, and yes some portmanteau of her parents names, an ALIAS. They checked the database and there was no Nishikawa person affiliated to Nishijima, he never got married again. But why would she hide her true identity…?

Yume’s Real Plan

If anything, Yume had an ambitious plan which her father had already discovered: She wanted to go back in the past and prevent her mother from sacrificing her life to save the world. In the same napkin he handed to the kids had also a plea: Please do not let Yume discover the truth, and do not let her get in touch with Mastemon.

Kiyoko frowns, “Who’s Mastemon?” and then they start scrutinizing the Tree of Knowledge’s database in order to discover about this Mastemon. Then they learn about this jogress digimon, able to travel through space-time and create portals. Natsu blinks, and then she looks at her pendant. Daichi and Ulforce look at her, and she mentions that… she possibly had inherited those powers from Mastemon -- but she’s not Mastemon herself!

So this means when Yume caught them in the past it probably drove her into the idea of using that power to go back in time and save her mother, and this sounded too familiar for Daichi… To the point he’s ashamed. Well, now he knows that no matter what he does in the past, it only creates a new setting of events for a brand new divergent timeline. He explains it to the kids, now that he’s less obsessed with that power. Kiyoko frowns again, so this means no matter what Yume does, she might never bring her mother back in this timeline… Natsu nods with a sad expression on her face.

But how to convince Yume she shouldn’t do that, that it won’t change their reality and will only cause her more grief? They started to think, and think… Daisuke sighs and says the only option is to tell her that, and hope for the best. Hoshi politely asks what would they do if she does not listen to them, and then Daisuke says they should just break Natsu’s pendant then. Natsu babbles desperately that she cannot destroy it, what if they need it later!? Mirai suggests leaving the pendant with mr. Gennai then, he’s trustworthy!! But Taisuke thinks they could leave it with the Holy Beasts, they could be able to secure that power from anyone else. But Daichi’s opinion is that they should keep it with that hooded woman from the Dimensional Space, or with ClavisAngemon. There were so many options… Daisuke keeps insisting they shouldn’t play with things involving space-time powers, that this is too much responsibility and no one responsible enough should be trusted with it. Then Natsu just thinks this is a burden because she was hated by people for having it, and Daisuke says you’re not a burden and I admire you for being this strong to carry this responsibility. Daichi jokes that “yeah, I can't be trusted with a power like this” and Ulforce and Natsu just agree with him, seriously. 

Daichi blames himself for making Yume get interested in time-travel, possibly because this means something happened back in 2024 and gave her those ideas, so maybe he accidentally made a “time loop” -- and now he, Natsu and Ulforce are stuck in it. Kiyoko raises an eyebrow: If you said that anything you altered in the past created new events for new timelines, how can you be so sure it was you who met Yume in the past and gave her that idea?

Mirai also agrees that Daichi’s idea is in conflict with what was told by Aegiochusmon: Dark, so it would make no sense unless…

Oh no.

That Yume came from the past. Not from the future. 

But what happened to the Yume from their actual time? Did she vanish or something?? The actual Yume would’ve been a little older than Daichi, right? If she was born in 2013… Taisuke and Daisuke gasp and think that both cannot exist in the same place!! Mirai agrees, the digimon also nod sagely, while Hoshi gives up on that talk -- It’s too much for her brain. Eiji deduces that Yume actually caused some kind of time paradox. Hoshi now is not even paying attention to the whole geek-like conversation and just started playing some game on her phone. Kitty asks if the two Yumes gathered into one? The others question if that’s possible though…

Daichi interrupts them to say maybe they should just send Yume from the past back to 2024 and tell her to not mess with space-time. But then… Draki (BlackAgumon) asks how Yume came to the future in the first place…

… They look at Daichi, who takes a moment to notice that maybe she had followed him there.

Oh well… Ulforce says they have to talk with her soon or later, and then Captain just “Well, like now?” and then they all look behind and here she and Blitz are. Taisuke gasps, shouting “DID SHE HEAR US!?” and hides behind Kiyoko and Hoshi. Seems like Taisuke was afraid of that girl since she met them and he innocently asked that question. Daichi asks if she heard them all, and how long she was there, to only have her stare at them seriously.

So everyone lied about his mother, about everything. She wasn’t a heroine but some villain. Yume didn’t want to believe it, and she wouldn’t. She keeps demanding them to help her save Himekawa because her mother wouldn’t have done something cruel like that and that everyone was lying about her. Daisuke tries to calm her down, saying something like “she wasn’t a villain but more like someone who got a terrible traumatic experience in the past” Daichi realizes his father is talking about something he doesn’t know, something Daisuke himself was hiding from him. Yume refuses to hear them out, and she keeps thinking none of them care about saving a victim. She knew the Digital World’s entities were cruel, and it made Blitz kinda sad. Blitz is the only friend Yume had her whole life, but not much talkative. But then Blitz tries to reason with Yume, saying that’s not true, after all they became friends and then partners!! Was Yume forgetting their bonds now? To condemn the Digital World to be the one to take her mother’s life?!

It’s when Daisuke just jumps from Mirai’s purse and stands in front of Yume. He wants to just talk to her, but she keeps refusing them. It’s when he just reveals what Natsu was trying to hide from Daichi -- That he was also a victim of the digimon, BUT that didn’t make him hate them at all. Daichi’s eyes widen, and the kids just exclaim “What!?” -- Yume included. Natsu was silent, but she thinks Daisuke didn’t need to go this far to talk about his past.

Then, Daisuke tells them that a digimon named Vamdemon had invaded Odaiba when he was a kid, on August 3rd 1999. He was just seven years old and he and his family were captured by Vamdemon’s minions and taken to the Tokyo Big Sight. There, he was separated from his family and put in a room with all of the kids residing in Odaiba, or the visitors from that day. He heard some of those bad guys talking about finding the Eighth Chosen Child, and he remembered seeing Tailmon for the first time in his life, way before he learned Tailmon was Yagami Hikari’s digimon partner. But he also adds that that encounter didn’t make him hate the digimon because he saw Taichi and his friends with their partners too, and how they saved Odaiba made him wish to be as strong as them. He admits he didn’t trust the digimon before, but once he met V-mon three years later, he had the chance to learn more and change his mind.

Daichi then asks Mirai if Chibimon was inside the purse and she chuckles nervously. (Yes he was inside too, but sleeping like a rock)

Yume blinks, how can a digimon be so sure about her feelings… Daisuke says he’s human trapped in a curse for now, but being a digimon for a while is making him realize how hard it might be to those digimon, and he thinks now the digi-rebels might not be entirely evil and yes digimon afraid of the unknown. She gives him a timid smile, maybe Daisuke really had a way to change people’s hearts.

Blitz says Yume and her should go back to 2024 and abandon that idea of saving Yume’s mother. Yume understands, but she wants to stay in the future now… Natsu says she can’t and that this was creating a time paradox with the Yume from 2029, in which they can’t exist in the same place at all because she’s not from a parallel world. Kiyoko gets some interest on why can’t there exist two Yumes from the same timeline, and why Natsu is implying that if one of them came from a different world this would be okay. Eiji explains that it’s because this Yume came from the past, which means the future Yume cannot exist anymore if had time-travel to the future. Hoshi thinks this is too much for her head all over again and decides before they send Yume back, they should just have fun together, at least.

Now that they solved that part… Maybe they could focus on Papillonmon’s next moves, right?

[a-dowryofblood]

I think because we see the roy children we want to believe they're good people but they're not. Shiv didn't mean to save her brothers, she wanted power and she knew she would not be getting that as the CEOs sister.

She wanted the power, when she thought she had it the first thing she did was brag about it to her brothers. Their father taught them to fight till the death for the number one spot and dangled it infront of their faces their whole lives.

When Ken tells her that HE deserves that spot, I knew it was more than over because Shiv doesn't believe he does. Truth is none of them do but they all believe they are the one that deserves it.

She went with Tom because she gets to have some power with that, Tom is still a puppet. She is The Roy in that relationship still, she has chosen to turn into the mother that she hates for a chance to stay in power. She still gets to make moves with Lukas and Tom (and Greg).

She made the move that kept her near power, she didn't mean to save Ken and Rome from staying in the cycle of abuse forever but she did. She lost because she won the most power in the end, power she only gets by being an accessory to the men in her life.

I still love Shiv and I hope she murders Tom ❤️

[bokura-no-digital-world]

Takari Week 2022 - Day 1: Focus & Reflection

Days: [1] [2] [3] [4] [5] [6] [7] Title: Confessions Characters: Takeru Takaishi, Hikari Yagami, Patamon, Tailmon, Sora Takenouchi and Yamato Ishida. Summary: Takeru and Hikari have some moments of reflection regarding how they feel about each other. Notes: For Takari week, I decided to do something different. All stories will be told in first person, from both Takeru's and Hikari's POVs in the same story. It will be separated to make it easier, though. And also, the last two scenes in this one-shot are a continuation, but I separated it because it changes from Takeru's POV to Hikari's. The smell of sand mixed with water filled my nostrils as soon as I stepped into the sidewalk that bordered the beach. It still seemed surreal that one year had already gone by since the Digimon have been rebooted. Unlike four years ago, now they were able to stay on Earth as much as they wanted to without having their energy drained.

All of us Chosen Children agreed to take a small trip to the beach for our seventh anniversary and also rejoice on the fact nothing bad happened to Daisuke and the others. But I still felt a pain on my heart because of Mr. Nishijima's death. I was beyond glad he saved my brother, but still sad he sacrificed himself for that. I looked at Taichi and felt thankful he was doing gradually better at dealing with that traumatic experience, especially when seeing he was one of the first ones to jump into this idea of taking a break.

However, I was feeling something else other than just happiness and gratitude. Looking back now, I couldn't believe how clueless I had been, but I had been looking at Takeru differently ever since we went to Ken's house looking for him last year. I had finally come to acknowledge I sort of pushed Takeru to Meiko by making him seem like he was one of these boys who had a new girl each week. Though I had to admit it was exactly that whenever he had a place to go. But honestly, deep down I was expecting him to ask me out though I wouldn't admit it out loud. Ever.

And yet, I found my cheeks burning and becoming red when he looked at my direction and grinned. "He's charming, isn't he?" Sora teased while she sat down beside me. "What?" I turned around, completely forgetting I was blushing. "You still feel something for him, don't you?" "No. I mean, he's charming like you said and all, but…" "Why don't you act on your feelings and tell him how you feel?" "And ruin our friendship over it? I don't think so." "I did it with Yamato and look where we are now." "That's true, but it has always been reciprocated, hasn't it?" "Well, yeah… but it was still a shot in the dark." "He wouldn't say no to you because he felt the same. Takeru doesn't." "You don't really believe that, do you? It's clear as a crystal that he has feelings for you." "Then we must be seeing completely different things, because it's not clear for me at all." "Are you really sure about that? Or you need to believe it?" "What do you mean?" "Maybe your resistance for it is clouding your judgment and not letting you see things the way they are." "Is it that obvious?" "Even Jou noticed it. And that's saying a lot, since we all know Jou doesn't pick up on these things that fast." "I don't know… I guess I'm afraid of the future. Can you imagine how it would be if we stopped being friends because it didn't work?" "I won't lie and say it's not a possibility, but the positive outcome can also happen." "Is that what you were thinking when you confessed to Yamato?" "It was. I think we both thought the same. We just agreed to take a chance and it worked." Sora placed her hand on my shoulder before jumping from where we sitting. "Think about it. Are you coming?" "I'll be right there." Keep reading it on FFN or AO3

[jamiemackenziefraser]

All That Was Fair

Chapter 33: Existing in the Bit That’s Left

Summary: Life goes on, whether we will it or not

Read on AO3

Previous, master list, next

Chapter 33: Existing in the Bit That’s Left 

***

When a hermit crab dies, its shell is left behind, sitting at the bottom of the ocean. Empty and lifeless, it remains motionless as the waves cover it with sand.

Jamie had once owned a hermit crab. After it had died, it rattled him that the beautiful shell that looked so much like his pet remained even though the crab was gone. 

Now, Jamie himself was nothing more than a hollowed out shell. 

He knew his heart was gone, every ounce of love within him ripped away, but what had surprised him was that it was as if she’d taken his very body with her as well as his soul. He didn’t have the energy for even the most basic tasks. Food was tasteless. His vision seemed foggy. As tired as he was, he couldn’t sleep. Life seemed to happen around him, but he hardly managed to bring himself along with it. He was being buried under the weight of the emptiness. 

Nothingness shouldn’t have been so heavy. 

He spent three weeks laying in his bed. Barely eating, barely moving. 

Jamie was aware that he was wasting away, but he couldn’t seem to care. Claire wouldn’t want him to give up without her. Even more compelling, he wouldn’t want her to act like this without him. Even as he’d sent her back through the stones, he’d told her to live a good life without him. He wanted her to be able to move on. Except he couldn’t bring himself to do the same, and he never would. After knowing the joy of a full life, there seemed nothing left for him in this hollow existence. 

If he could have reached out and grasped onto some sort of hope in his new life without her— not that any seemed to exist— he still would have chosen not to. All the right decisions, the healthy decisions, the ways to cope and move forward— they all seemed like a betrayal. He didn’t want to move on; he wanted Claire back. 

The first time he’d uttered the horrible truth of Claire’s absence outloud was when Murtagh had forced it out of him. His godfather had come banging on his door after Jamie had ignored his texts for weeks, eventually barging in on Jamie’s state of depressed chaos. He had dragged him out of bed, forced food down his throat, and shoved him in the shower. After Jamie looked less like a corpse, Murtagh coaxed the story out of him— at least, the only story Jamie could give. 

“She’s gone,” he forced out. Hearing the words aloud was like a knife to the gut. He’d known they were true— every beat of his heart without the answering one of hers next to him made that truth abundantly clear. But being forced to say it aloud brought a whole new level of pain. 

Murtagh clearly didn’t know whether he meant she’d broken up with him or died. His godfather tried to probe him for details, but Jamie didn’t have it in him to explain anymore. 

“There’s nothin’ left for me,” Jamie rasped, “she was it. Claire—” his voice broke on her name, but he forced it out, finding some amount of reverence in the shape of it on his lips, “ Claire was my heart and soul. I dinna ken what to do, a ghoistidh.” 

“Ye do what ye have to, lad,” Murtagh said firmly, “ye keep going.” 

“How?” he looked up at him with tears shining in his eyes. “How can I keep going without her?” 

Murtagh brows drew together as he grew thoughtful. His expression reflected the gravity of the situation. His godfather knew that he was desperate for a reason to keep going, crying out for help. Words couldn’t heal him, but something had to be said. Murtagh took his time before saying them, very carefully. 

“Ye’re no’ without her, though. No’ really. Ye’ll carry her memory wi’ ye. Ye keep going, and ye bring her wi’ ye, even if it’s no’ in the way ye would have liked.” 

Jamie swallowed the bile rising in his throat. All he could hear was buzzing, the cotton in his ears growing somehow thicker. 

“I don’t want to,” he forced out, shaking his head, “I don’t—”

The meager contents of Jamie’s stomach rose, and he rushed to the trash can before collapsing to his knees and heaving into it. The grief in his heart tried to force its way out of his body, and he wished it could just end this and tear him from inside out. Murtagh hovered behind him, offering him a wet towel, and Jamie sat back heavily against the cool wall. 

“I ken she wouldna want me tae give up,” Jamie said quietly, barely above a whisper, “but I just dinna want tae keep going.”

Murtagh’s eyes swam with emotion and his face crumpled underneath his beard as his brain came to a conclusion. Clearly his godfather thought the love of Jamie’s life had truly died. And she may as well have been to Jamie, or maybe she had actually di—

The fear that Jamie had been fighting for weeks rose inside him again. It was possible that Claire really was dead. More than just possible. She’d said coming through the stones had been torture, and she’d been so weak afterwards when Jamie had found her the first time she’d gone through. He could only imagine what the trip had done to his barely conscious lass, hanging on by a thread. Or maybe he had waited too long and it had been too late. Maybe she’d gotten back and was too weak to even draw energy anymore. Maybe she’d died on that hill, all alone, grieving his loss as much as he grieved hers.  

This fear haunted him, both waking and sleeping, tearing him into pieces. Seeing Murtagh’s face as the man thought Jamie was mourning her death, Jamie wasn’t so sure he wasn’t . He wished he could know what became of her— anything to stop this horrible speculating that churned his mind. But he was left in the dark. Left to hold on to the tiny comfort that he had done what had to be done. 

For his wife. 

Jamie let his head fall onto his knees, hugging his arms around them so they were pressed tightly to his chest. 

“Jamie. I willna allow ye to waste yerself away,” Murtagh said firmly. “I ken ye’re hurting, and I would never suggest ye ignore it. I only ask that you take care of yerself, even when ye dinna want to. If not for the memory of her, then do it for me, aye?” 

He raised his red-ringed eyes enough to see his godfather, and he realized there was real fear lingering on Murtagh’s face. 

As much as he wanted to let himself fade away, he could never do that to the man sitting in front of him who he loved so dearly. 

“Alright,” Jamie agreed, “alright.” 

***

When Jamie was young, his parents had a yearly tradition where they would send him to his grandfather’s house to stay for a couple of nights. His grandfather was loving enough, but every time Jamie went, he was overcome with intense homesickness. He would cry himself to sleep each night of the visit, feeling like the guest room was freezing to the bone as he imagined the warmth of Lallybroch. 

Every day now felt like that homesickness magnified a hundredfold. 

Claire had been the true home of his heart. Jamie longed and ached for her in ways he hadn’t known possible. 

Only that home had been lost. And he was left lying awake at night dreaming of her warmth and missing her with every fiber of his being.

***

While driving on the highway during a long road trip, inevitably one will see a plastic bag being blown down the road. Aimless, empty, and completely at the mercy of the wind. Jamie would watch them sometimes, tracing their progress before they drifted away. But he never asked himself where it would end up because it didn’t matter. The bag would simply continue on, moving forward without a destination. 

Jamie was no more than a bit of plastic pushed by the breeze. He stayed rooted to his life only by his promise to Murtagh. He began to go about his days with empty precision. He would wake up at 8, brush his teeth, eat one cup of parritch, and head into work. Every night he would come straight home, take a 30 minute walk around his property, cook himself dinner, and fall asleep to the murmurs of the tv. 

On the rare nights when he allowed himself out of his robot-like trance, he would venture into the closet of the guest bedroom where Claire’s dresses still hung, and he would bury his nose in it, hugging it close to his chest, searching desperately for a whiff of her earthy-rose scent. 

On those nights, he would cry himself to sleep. 

Jamie continued on, but he had no idea what he was moving toward. 

***

When he was a lad of about 5, he and Willie had gone out to the barn to play. They had a bit of rope with them, and Willie thought it would be fun to try to walk a baby goat like they walked their dog, Rufus. They’d fashioned a leash for the poor thing, but when the time came to “walk” it, the animal had simply laid on its side as he and Willie had dragged it through the dirt, wailing its disapproval but not moving a muscle until Jamie’s parents had run out and grounded them for a week. For the goat, there hadn’t been so much active resistance as simply a complete shut down. 

When Jenny showed up at Jamie’s door one night, ordering him to get in the car to come over to dinner, Jamie had simply obeyed. Getting dragged was easier than fighting. 

She’d driven him straight to Lallybroch, where she, Ian, and the brood resided, and Jamie somehow managed to find a weak smile within himself for the sake of his nieces and nephew. 

As soon as he came through the door, he was overcome by a stampede of little feet and grabbing hands. Chubby arms wrapped around his legs, his hands were grasped, and his body became a playground. 

“Weans! Where are yer manners?! Say hi to Uncle Jamie!” Jenny admonished. 

“Hi, Uncle,” came the obedient responses from wee Jamie and Maggie. 

Before Jamie even had a chance to respond, he was obliterated by an innocent, well meaning question that cut him the core. 

“Uncle Jamie, where is Ms. Claire? Can she come to dinner too?” 

Jamie froze, every muscle coiled up on instinct from hearing that name. He’d tried to numb it out, tried to let himself get dragged on through life without the roadblock that was any mention of his lost love. 

Jenny knew, of course. Murtagh had told her about Claire’s “death”. Her face shown with sympathy as she watched Jamie stumble back onto the bench seat behind him. He sat down hard, pressing his hands to face, and peered down at wee Jamie. 

His voice was thick, nearly unrecognizable, when he managed to force out the following words: 

“She’s gone to live forever with the faeries.”

His eyes flicked up toward Jenny, whose face showed raw grief. She may not have liked Claire much, but hearing about her death spoken in such terms, or at least seeing Jamie like this, seemed to wreck her. 

Only somehow, speaking those words— the truth, disguised as a fairytale for children— actually freed a tiny knot in Jamie’s chest. 

Wee Jamie looked both disappointed and intrigued at the news. 

“Gone to live wi’ the faeries?” he echoed. 

“Aye,” Jamie nodded. He glanced up at Jenny again, and then back at the weans. Every thought in his head seemed to vanish, and he hadn’t decided to do anything, but his body was moving. He leaned down closer and gestured them toward him. Lowering his voice, he said, “can I tell ye a secret? If ye promise ye willna tell?” 

Both children nodded eagerly, waiting with baited breath. 

“Claire is a faerie. I found her on the faerie hill one day, and I took her in. She wasna meant to be here, you see, it was an accident. But we fell in love, and she decided to stay.” 

“But why did she go back then?” wee Jamie asked. 

Jamie swallowed hard. “She… well, she ran out of faerie dust. She needed tae go back to live with the faeries so she could have all the faerie dust she needs.” 

Tears gathered in his eyes, and he had to blink hard not to shed them. 

“I”m sorry ye lost yer faerie, Uncle Jamie,” Maggie said, reaching out her hand to rest it gently on Jamie’s knee. 

He took it in his, marveling at just how small it was. But brought him comfort, and for the first time in the past three weeks, he thought maybe he wasn’t entirely alone in the world. 

“Me too, Maggie. Me too.” 

***

a/n: One more chapter to go in arc II, and it's a big 'un. See you tomorrow and thank you so much for reading!!

Next

[higuchimon]

[fanfic] Making A Move

The Chosen didn’t often have the opportunity to get together. Try as they might, the perils of growing up meant not always having time for certain things. But there were times when they put in the effort, and said times weren’t always ones where the fate of two worlds were at stake.

Daisuke tucked the last of the food into the picnic basket and did a quick double check to be sure that he’d not missed anything. Ken glanced over his shoulder.

“Are those your mother’s cakes?” There was a definite hint of greediness in his tone at the sight of them, and Daisuke lightly tapped Ken’s hand to keep him away from them.

“You can have some later, after the fireworks,” Daisuke promised. His mom had made certain there were enough of them for everyone, but if someone didn’t keep an eye on Ken, Daisuke wouldn’t have been surprised if they’d all vanished.

Ken pulled his hand back, a brief smile flashing across his lips. “Are we ready?”

“I think so.” Daisuke ran over everything in his head. Everyone was bringing their own basket – more or less. Taichi and Yamato were going to share one, as were Koushiro and Miyako. Hikari and Sora had also made sharing plans. Daisuke wasn’t sure what the others’ plans were, but he figured he’d see once they were all on the beach together.

He checked one more time for the extra food, then shot a quick look to where V-mon sat not that far away, eyes round with hunger and greed, far more so than Ken.

“You’ll get your share later.” Daisuke waved a finger at him and V-mon grumbled. “You’re going to get sick if you keep stuffing yourself.”

“I would not!” V-mon declared, mildly offended at the very suggestion. Daisuke just looked at him. They’d found out the hard way that V-mon’s stomach didn’t always react well with some of the food he loved the most.

Ken chuckled a little. Daisuke shot him a mildly annoyed look, but one that softened within seconds. He was so used to seeing Ken in his school uniform that seeing him dressed now in shorts and a regular shirt and sandals still took him by surprise. Sometimes he thought he caught Ken staring at him too.

It made him wonder sometimes if he should – no, if he said anything, it wasn’t the right time. So many times he’d felt the words tingling on his lips and yet held them back. He trusted Ken would always be his friend, and the chance of adding a fresh new dimension to that teased so hard at him.

And he refused every time, holding himself back. He would always be Ken’s friend. He wasn’t going to do anything to lose that, ever. But he knew he’d have to make a choice, and that choice could be closer than he thought.

With everything packed up, they headed out for their destination – one of the secluded beaches. As time passed, Digimon were more and more accepted and more and more people gained partners of their own. So their own partners stayed with them more, and were included on this trip.

Mimi was the first one there, it seemed, and had already spread out what she’d brought with her and Palmon. She greeted them with a cheerful wave and Daisuke returned it, taking the chance to practice a little of his English.

Soon everyone else showed up, carrying their baskets, their partners with them, chatting among themselves. Takeru had the fireworks, but no one wanted them to be set off until after the sun went down.

Daisuke stretched out next to Ken, his head tilted back, staring up at the gleaming stars that glittered overhead. V-mon and Wormmon were curled around each other, V-mon’s stomach rounded with everything he’d stuffed into himself. Daisuke shook his head a bit.

“He’s out like a light,” he reported, and Ken chuckled. Wormmon also didn’t move, deeply sleeping. Ken ran his hand gently over his partner’s head.

Daisuke tilted his head a little and could see the others. Taichi and Agumon were in a deep conversation, though they were a little too far away for him to hear what they were talking about. Yamato sat with his back to one of the cliffs, Gabumon by his side, fingering his guitar in a melody that meshed with the sound of the surf and the wind.

Koushiro and Miyako were talking about something that probably involved computers, since they were staring at a laptop. At least that was what Daisuke guessed they were talking about. Jou and Iori were also talking, but the sound of waves covered it up neatly. They were all more or less in their own little worlds, and Daisuke kind of liked it that way.

Since he was in his own little world with Ken.

He tracked the stars across the sky, not really thinking about anything, but enjoying being here. Ken was so close to him. Daisuke could feel the warmth of his presence.

“Ken…” Daisuke murmured, feeling that maybe now might be the time. He wasn’t sure of how to shape the words, but he’d always been rather fond of just charging ahead regardless. If Ken didn’t feel the same, then that would be all right.

“All right, everyone!” Takeru waved one hand from where he’d been busy setting up the fireworks. “Time to get these going!”

Daisuke groaned, slamming his head against the sand for a few seconds. Ken blinked at him, clearly confused.

“Daisuke? Are you all right?”

As much as he wanted otherwise, Daisuke wasn’t sure if he could say what he wanted to say.

Who cares. Might as well take a chance. Won’t be the worst one I’ve ever done.

Daisuke didn’t answer. At least not with words. He reached over, rested his hands on Ken’s shoulders, and just as the first fireworks took off, exploding into the night sky, kissed Ken full on the lips.

It was everything he’d ever hoped it would be. And what made it better was when Ken started to kiss back. He tasted of the cakes they’d shared and his hands slipped around Daisuke’s back, their breath sliding together until Daisuke wasn’t sure if he could breathe without him.

He also wasn’t sure if he wanted to.

The End

Notes: I’m tempted to write something that focuses more on those cakes. But not now.

[ejzah]

Can you write a story where Deeks doesn’t go to Mexico and finds out about the car explosion?

A/N: As you would expect, there’s some angst. I changed a few details around or sped things up to make things flow a bit easier.

***

Bring Me To My Knees

“Can you go faster?” Deeks asked, glancing at the clock as Officer Juarez drove towards the airport, lights flashing.

“I’m already pushing it, Deeks,” Juarez replied. Even so, he floored the gas, careening around a slower-moving bus and minivan. Deeks grasped the passenger door handle, eyes narrowed as he prayed they didn’t crash.

The last 8 hours were some of the worst he could ever remember. He’d spent the night going over his and Kensi’s conversation in the parking garage on an endless loop.

After the fact, he realized that he’d chosen an extremely poor time to address the issue of leaving. They were both keyed up and on edge, but, Deeks was also hurt and angry that Kensi instantly assumed he wanted to break up. Her refusal to listen to him at all, watching her walk away, had nearly broken him.

She hadn’t responded to any of his texts begging her to talk to him or accepted his call just know to let her know he was coming. Even though he was still angry and even if they were irreparably broken-god, the though nearly made him gasp-there wasn’t a chance in hell Kensi was going to Mexico without him.

They were still partners. At least this one last time.

Juarez pulled onto the small runway Nell had given him directions to. He was infinitely grateful that she’d risked Mosley’s wrath and kept him updated on the team’s plan.

As they pulled closer, Deeks’ phone rang and he answered it.

“Deeks, they left.” Nell blurted out immediately. “We tried to keep them for as long as we could. Eric even made up some technical issue, but Mosley was insistent.”

“Damn it!” Deeks hissed, a wave of panic nearly overwhelming. Juarez eyed him warily and Deeks forced himself to breath more evenly.

“I’m so sorry.” He was aware enough to hear the regret and blame in Nell’s voice.

“No, it’s not your fault,” he assured her. “You did everything you could.”

“We’ll keep you updated as much we can,” she told him and he nodded distractedly.

“Thanks, Nell.” He hung up, staring blankly at the empty runway. “Take me home, Mateo.”

***

Agonizing was the only word Deeks could think of to describe the last couple days. Nell had kept informed as much as she could, her last update him that they had a contact and possible plan to breach William’s residence. Then she’d stopped responding to his texts at all.

Deeks was overwhelmed with every horrible scenario he’d dreamt up since the team left. Thoughts of Kensi being held captive and tortured, bleeding out in the middle of the desert. It was too much for him to take.

Which was how he ended up lurking at one of the back exits outside the mission. After this many years, Deeks was fairly skilled at bypassing security, although he did proceed with extra caution in case Mosley had extra guards in place.

“Deeks, what are you doing here?” Nell’s voice suddenly hissed through the intercom. “Do you realize how much trouble this could cause if someone saw you?”

“I’ve been basically fired and my fiancé is on a ridiculously dangerous unsanctioned mission to Mexico,” he reminded her. “How much worse can things get?”

“Fair point,” Nell admitted with a deep sigh. “Fine, get up her, but do not let anyone see you. Mosley is out of the office right now, but I don’t know what instructions she might have given the other agents.”

Not giving Nell a chance to change her mind, he slipped through the door when it clicked open. Fortunately no one stopped him and he made it up to OPS without any issue.

“You are such an idiot,” Nell greeted him, her face looking warn and tired as she stood up. “But I’m really glad you’re here,” she added, wrapping her arms tightly around his neck.

“Thanks for not squealing on me,” Deeks said as Eric turned around and waved in a decidedly uh-Eric-like way. He looked equally exhausted, even strained and a little horrified.

“I would never,” he said, his voice unusually tense.

“So, uh, you guys stopped texting me. What’s going on?”

“Deeks, I don’t-” Deeks held up his hand before Nell could finished her sentence, anticipating her response.

“I know it’s not good so whatever you’re trying to protect me from isn’t working. And if you don’t tell me, I’ll just imagine something even worse. So what ridiculous and suicidal plan did they come up with?” he asked, surprised by how even he managed to keep his voice.

Nell and Eric shared a glance, she took a deep breath, and then he pulled up a video on the big screen.

“Please tell me that’s not where I think it is,” Deeks said, horrified as the camera panned over what was clearly a large complex.

“Kensi is in the process of infiltrating Spencer William’s property as an equestrian with lessons for Derrick. During the lesson, Kensi will escape with Derrick while Sam and Callen provide a distraction and take out any guards,” he explained.

“That is never going to work.”

“Well, they don’t exactly have a lot of options,” Nell reminded him.

“I knew this was going to happen,” Deeks said bitterly. “If M-”

“Guys, be quiet,” Eric interrupted tersely, standing with a finger pressed to the comm in his ear. “Kensi’s in trouble.”

“Don’t say anything,” Nell warned him. In that moment he had no doubt that Nell would unapologetically kick him out if he didn’t comply. He watched, helplessly, as Kensi was forced to her knees and Williams arrived.

“No hablo ingles,” Kensi said quietly, a touch of defiance in her voice. Deeks didn’t allow himself to revel in the sound of her, alive and mostly untouched. Not yet. Not while Williams interrogated her and threatened horrible things.

Somehow he stayed silent as Kensi fought Williams off, the sound of gunfire in the near distance the entire time, and convinced Derrick to come with her. It was difficult to follpw exactly what was happening with all the shouting and gunfire, but eventually they made it the SUV unharmed.

"There's a helicopter waiting for you with EAD Mosley on board," Nell informed Kensi.

Deeks gave her a questioning look and she shook her head. Obviously questions about how Mosley had ended up in Mexico would have to wait for another time.

As Kensi passed Derrick off to an extremely thankful and emotional Mosley, the pilot informed her there was enough room for one more person.

"Take it, Kens," he whispered, willing her to forego her heroic personality for once.

"We're good!" she shouted instead, giving the pilot the signal to leave. "Sam and Callen I'm on my way."

"That was her way home. She would have been safe."

"But Kensi never would leave Sam and Callen in danger," Eric said quietly. "Not when she could possibly help them."

"I know," Deeks choked out. He didn't have time to focus on his frustration or worry as Kensi rescued their teammates amidst a swirl of dust and smoke.

At any other time Deeks would have found the idea of Sam on a horse hilarious. Right now he felt like he might be sick.

"Go, Kensi!" Callen shouted.

"Oh my god," Nell breathed out in disbelief. "They did it."

Deeks let out a shaky breath, closing his eyes for a second. Even if it wasn't his team anymore, they were safe.

"Woah, Kensi, stop!" Deeks' eyes snapped back open in time to see something explode across the screen right before it turned to snow.

"Oh my god, what was that?" Nell gasped.

"Kensi, Sam, Callen," Eric said loudly. "Guys, can you hear me?"

There was no response. Deeks made a strangled noise, unable to breathe as his knees threatened to give out on him.

"Kens," he whispered, knowing she wouldn't answer him.

[thisfoolwrites]

My Altair (2)

Part 2 Here’s the second part to my Bokuto fic! Thanks to all the likes and reblogs on the last one. I appreciate each and every one of you. Please enjoy!

Warnings: References to underage drinking Genre: Angst to Fluff

Part 1  Part 3

Waking up the next morning, {Y/N} felt like her head was going to explode. She groaned and tried to roll over to her back, and noticed that there was a blockade in her way. Fully opening her eyes she noticed Kenma curled up next to her. She scooted over to give herself room to move and gently poked his cheek.

“I'm sorry Ken, for worrying you last night.” she murmured. “I didn't mean to disappear on you, I just didn't want to talk about it at the time.”

“I know you didn't mean it.” His soft voice replied,  “And I'll wait till you're ready to talk, just don't do that again ok?” The two siblings shared a look and knew that they would be alright. {Y/N} was grateful that Kenma didn't bring up Kuroo. She didn't want to cry anymore over him, but knew that she was still in a vulnerable state.

“Now get out of my bed so I can shower and pack. We got that training camp at Shenzin tomorrow.” She gently shoved him towards the end of the bed. With a small laugh Kenma went back to his own room. Once the door was closed she sighed and laid back down on her back. 

Had she really worried everyone that much? Closing her eyes tight she was left to her thoughts once again. The headache she woke up with seemed ten times worse now. Getting up she stopped at her dresser, looking at the numerous trophies and medals she had earned from the time she was ten up until she was fifteen. Had it really been three years since she had given up skating. Noticing the picture of her and Kuroo at his first high school inter-high tournament, she picked it up and glared at it. The inter-high was the same day as a competition she had been looking forward to. But she never made it there. With the picture in her hand, she walked over to the trash and dropped it in.

After grabbing her clothes she made her way out of her room and to the shower. She heard noises from Kenma's room and assumed he had began gaming. She hoped a nice hot shower would free up her thoughts. “Think of puppies or something.” She grumbled to herself.

Bokuto glanced towards his phone for what seemed like the thousandth time. Had she meant that text or was she still under the influence? He supposed he'd get his answer Monday when the training camp rolled around. He saw a new text from Kuroo. His eyes narrowed at his name alone. How was he supposed to get along with Kuroo all week? He also had to get Kuroo's side of the story. Did he sting {Y/N} along last summer, even knowing how Bokuto felt? Or had it been a non exclusive thing that she misread? Either way all he knew was the Kuroo had some apologizing to do. Unlocking his phone and glancing at the words, he frowned again.

Kuroo: Thanks for finding her. We really appreciate it.

Bokuto: Its no problem.

Kuroo: Did she happen to say why she ran off? Kenma wouldn't tell me anything and {Y/N} wont answer my texts or calls.

Golden orbs widened in shock. Kenma hadn't told his friend that he was the reason she ran off? Was {Y/N} really ignoring him still? The scheming captain had really done a number on their mutual friend. If she had chosen not to say anything, he had no right to share that either.

Bokuto: Nope. All she wanted to talk about were the stars.

Not a total lie, he thought. With a heavy sigh he went back to packing for the training camp. He really hopped {Y/N} would show up. Even though she had no interest in being a manager at all. He backed out of Kuroos contact and went to {Y/N’S}.

Bokuto: Id love to go stargazing, maybe the stars will be visible this week.

Monday rolled around faster than {Y/N} would have liked. It was 6am and she was standing next to Coach Nekomata taking roll call and making sure everyone got on the bus. She could feel the third years and Tora starring at her. She figured that at this point they all knew about the fallout between her and Kuroo. After making sure everyone was on the bus she looked toward the coach and climbed on herself. Kenma, who usually sat next to Tora, had saved her a seat next to him. She smiled before accidentally locking eyes with the Scheming captain. She could see the confusion and hurt in his eyes. Looking away she took her seat next to Kenma, giving him a small thanks.

She pulled out her phone and smiled looking at her notifications. She had been texting the owl haired captain since yesterday. Looking at the pictures he sent she let out a small laugh, catching the attention of the setter beside her. He glanced down and saw who she was texting and he managed a small smile. Maybe this is what she needed. While he still wasn't sure what had happened, he just wanted to see his sister happy.

Her team had changed into their practice clothes and were getting ready to head to the court when the Karasuno bus pulled up. She smiled and watched with Yaku the excitement on the two first years. Not to mention the loud voices of the second years.

“They sure are a lively bunch huh?” She mumbled absentmindedly. Yaku just nodded along.

“Its never dull moment with them.”

“Well, we better get in there, I've got manager things to do.” Yaku could almost hear the sigh in her voice.  He wanted to ask if she was ok, but figured he should wait. He just nodded and followed her inside. {Y/N} looked around the gym and saw the other schools practicing already. He eyes landed on Fukurodani. She had never given other schools much thought. After Saturday however, she had couldn't stop thinking about the ace. As if he sensed someone looking at him he turned. Golden orbs met {E/C}. A large grin spread on his face and he waved his arms in the air wildly. {Y/N} let out a small laugh when she saw this.

“Never a dull moment indeed.” She murmured with a smile before walking off and meeting the other managers. Yaku just stood there and with his mouth agape. She had been so gloomy all week, just what happened when Bokuto picked her up from that party.

“What was that?” Came the deep voice of Kuroo, causing Yaku to jump. “Jeez, why are you so jumpy?”

“When you come out of no where that happens! You need a bell!” Kuroo let out a laugh and went to go practice with the rest of his team. He'd have to ask Bokuto later what was going on with him and the older Kozume.

The training camp had been going smoothly, for the most part. Aside from Kurasuno losing every match they had been apart of, and the fact that Nekoma's captain and manager still weren't on speaking terms. {Hana} let out a sigh and walked outside after taking a shower. Shenzin's school wasn't directly in the city so there were less lights, but she still couldn't see the stars that well. While walking she ran into the Silver haired setter of the Kurasuno team.

“Hey, you're Sugawara right?” She called out to him. He glanced over and smiled.

“That's me. You're {Y/N} Kozume right? We didn't get a chance to talk at the practice game.” Suga acknowledged. {YN} let out a small chuckle.

“Yeah, the boys on my team are pretty protective. Sorry about that.” she mumbled. “I actually had a question for you.” Suga raised an eyebrow when he noticed her eyes were trained at the sky. He saw her glance at him for a second and hummed in acknowledgment. “Can you see the stars from Miyagi? Here you can't see them very well. The lights get in the way and you can only see the basic shapes. No constellations or the planets.” Out of all the questions she could have asked, he wasn't expecting that. Volleyball questions yes, stars, no.

“You can. There's a hill we would go to as kids to go watch the stars, as well as the fireworks.” He didn't miss the way he eyes lit up, only for a brief second.  

“Really? It must be nice.” If there had been any other noise he wouldn't have heard her reply. She closed he eyes and turned to him with a smile. “I'm sorry for taking up your time. Thank you though for answering my question.” She gave him a small bow before taking off in the direction of her room. Leaving Suga to question if she was ok. He'd have to ask Kuroo next time he saw him. With a sigh he took off towards the showers.

Bokuto had just gotten done practicing with Akaashi, Kuroo and even Tsukishima. How they had convinced the tall blonde to keep coming to the late practices was beyond him. He walked out of the showers with a towel around his shoulders. His usually spiky hair was down and in his eyes. Using his left hand he pulled the silver locks out of his eyes and noticed a figure waiting at the vending machines. He smiled upon seeing the familiar long {H/C} locks.

“Hey hey hey!” he called quietly, well quietly for Bokuto. “What are you doing here?” he questioned. “Not that I'm not happy to see you.” he quickly added with a blush, his hand going to the back of his head. Hearing the small laugh he glanced back at her.

“I was thinking we could go to the hill and look at the stars. There's less lights here than in the city, so you can see them a bit better.” she questioned. Her eyes never met his, they just stayed trained to the floor. She was waiting for the rejection that she's been so used to. Why would anyone want to do something she wanted? Even though he had texted her and said he would like to, she was convinced it was only said out of pity. After all she was drunk when she asked. Opening her mouth to speak again she was cut off by the surprisingly quiet voice of the ace.

“Sure, I'd love to.” he grinned, holding out his hand to her. Shocked {E/C} eyes met smiling gold orbs. Her smile grew larger as she grabbed his hand. “Maybe you can tell me more about Vega. You talked about it the other night.” She blushed when remembering that night.

“We should take a trip to Miyagi for that story. Sugawara said you can see the stars perfectly from there. Less lights, After all its kind of a long story, not to mention its a love story, you sure you want to hear it?” she inquired. No one had shown an interest in the stars when she talked about them. They usually just brushed her off and changed the subject. Bokuto beamed down at her once they had made it to the hill outside the gym.  

“Of course! You eyes always light up whenever you talk about or even look at the stars. You are passionate about it, like I am with volleyball. Even though I'm pretty sure you don't like the sport at all.” he joked as he sat down.

“Its not that I don't like it. Its just all that's ever talked about anymore. I get that it's important, nationals is coming up and its Te-Kuroos third year, but not everyone is as invested in it like he is.” she grumbled while sitting next to him. She laid down on her back to stare at the sky, a little smile still gracing her lips. Bokuto didn't miss her slip up. He noticed how she called him Kuroo instead of Tetsu like she usually does. However, seeing her smile after crying that night, he made sure that he didn't bring it up. She'd talk about it in time, and he wasn't gonna push her.

What the pair were unaware of were a pair of hazel eyes watching them. Kuroo frowned at seeing the scene before him. He couldn't explain the feeling in his chest. He was with Akemi, so why did he feel jealous of Bokuto?

Taglist: @samkysnks​

[densi-mber]

Just For Show

A/N: Here’s part two of Just for Show, the fake date fic. I may have stolen the plot from an episode of the show “Taxi”.

***

“Remember, I told Janelle that you work for the district attorney, so you can’t really talk about any specific cases,” Kensi reminded Deeks as she drove. Her hands were clamped tightly around the steering wheel, reminiscent of the grip a 15 year old student driver might have.

“Got it.”

“And she’s very detail oriented, so if you tell her anything, she’ll remember it.”

“I’m a little insulted that you would think I, master of a dozen aliases, would get caught in a lie,” he said with mock offense.

“Deeks, I’m serious. Please don’t mess this up,” Kensi begged.

“I know and I won’t.” She took her eyes off the road for a moment to look at him and he smiled reassuringly. “Promise.”

She shook her head as she pulled into the parking lot of the bar where they were meeting Janelle and her boyfriend. It was less of a bar, more lounge and Kensi was infinitely glad that she’s chosen a dress and heels.

Deeks got out before she could and came around to her side, offering his arm as he opened the door.

“Hey, don’t lay it on too thick,” she warned as she stepped out, using his forearm for support. “How do I look?” She turned in a quick circle and tugged at the knee length hemline of her dress, which was red and sleeveless.

“Perfect,” he said almost immediately. “What about me?” She glanced at him, taking her time. He’d chosen a black suit with a deep blue shirt that made his eyes seem even more vibrant. The top two buttons were popped, revealing tanned skin, and it looked like he’d even combed his hair for once. He looked more than perfect.

“You’ll do.” She adjusted his collar, which was perfectly fine, and patted his chest. “You’ll do.”

As they walked into the bar, she felt her tension ratchet up a notch. Deeks just have noticed because he dropped his arm around her waist, giving her a light squeeze. Normally she would think he was just taking advantage of the situation, but she was actually grateful.

“You’ll be fine,” Deeks told her with an encouraging smile. They found Janelle and her boyfriend without too much difficulty and quickly.

“I’m so glad you made it,” Janelle greeted Kensi, giving her a hug. “I almost thinking you might find some excuse to back out.” Kensi laughed nervously and Deeks stepped forward, extending his hand.

“Sorry, that’s on me. I couldn’t get my hair right. Marty Deeks, by the way,” he said. Janelle shook his hand, giving Kensi a mildly impressed look.

“Janelle. And Kensi didn’t mention that you have a sense of humor.”

“She doesn’t like to brag.”

“Yeah, that’s definitely it,” Kensi muttered under her breath as Janelle gestured to her boyfriend.

“Marty, Kensi, this is Thomas.” He stood at shook Kensi’s hand and then gave Deeks a slap on the back.

“Nice to meet you.” He was about Deeks’ height and by Kensi’s guess, in his mid to late 30’s with short brown hair. Thomas gestured to the curved booth seat that surrounded half of the small table, waiting for Kensi and Deeks to sit down.

Deeks’ leg brushed hers as he slid in beside her and draped his arm over her shoulders. He was close enough that she could feel the heat emanating from his body, straight through their close.

Thomas ordered a bottle of wine and Janelle immediately engaged Deeks in conversation. This was going to be an incredibly long night.

***

“Kensi mentioned that you two met at work,” Janelle said to Deeks from across the table. “Was she one of your paralegals?” He felt Kensi tense beside him so he dropped his arm from her shoulders to her waist, tugging her against his side.

At least Janelle had waited until after they finished dinner to start truly interrogating him. Deeks took a sip of wine and nodded, taking his time before answering.

He’d killed an hour or so talking about former cases, both real and based off of case studies from his law school days. Fortunately, Janelle and Thomas didn’t seem to versed in law.

“We did meet at work, but we started out in different departments. The last 2 and a half year have been the best of my life,” he said.

“Kensi said you’ve only been dating for 6 months.” Janelle tilted her head as Kensi’s heart rate sped up dramatically.

“De-I mean Marty was just-“ Kensi started to say, sounding a little panicky.

“That’s when we met. Kensi thought I was kind of an idiot for a long time, but she eventually came around. Do you want hear about when we finally got together?”

“Honey, I don’t really think that’s necessary,” Kensi said with a forced smile, pinching his thigh.

“Oh, but it’s such a good story,” he said, grinning down at her. Kensi glared back, her eyes threatening that he would regret this moment later on.

“I would love to hear it,” Janelle said eagerly, she leaned forward towards Deeks, laying a hand over his. Thomas didn’t seem particularly thrilled about the idea-or Janelle’s wandering hand- and wrapped his arm around and tugged her back against his side, giving Deeks a proprietary look.

“Did you want to tell them Kens?”

“No, you go ahead.” He didn’t miss the mild sarcasm in her voice as she brushed his hair back from his forehead. “You tell it so much better.”

Deeks nodded, pressing a kiss to her temple, like it was perfectly normal.

“About six months ago,” he started, quickly inventing a story as he went. “I was...I had a case that didn’t go well. I kind of lost my faith in law and my abilities as a lawyer. Kensi found me one night when I’d stay late at the office-she’d noticed I been acting differently-and asked me what was wrong. I told her I was, uh, thinking of resigning.”

“Kensi took my hand and told me that there were people out there who needed my help. I said didn’t feel like I was doing anybody much good, maybe it would be better off if someone else took my place.”

“How’d she convince you to stay?” Thomas asked and Deeks huffed out a laugh and then met Kensi’s eyes, letting his expression turn to one of fondness.

“She told me that if there was no other reason, I should stay for her. Because she needed me.”

“Oh, that’s lovely,” Janelle whispered, sounding a little awestruck. Deeks didn’t let his gaze waver from Kensi’s and she reached out to take his hand.

“I’d wasted enough time as it was, figured I needed to say something before I lost him altogether,” Kensi added with a little shrug. “Plus, I couldn’t bear the thought of never seeing these gorgeous eyes and this fluffy blonde hair again,” Kensi said, running her fingers through his hair as she spoke. For a second, it felt as though it was just the two of them.

Thomas noisily cleared his throat, making them both pull apart slightly.

“Well, that’s a nice little story,” he said, his tone a little condescending.

“Thomas,” Janelle admonished him, smacking his arm. “It’s a beautiful story.”

“The last six months have been the happiest of my life,” Kensi said with so much sincerity that Deeks almost believed her.

“Mine too.” He leaned forward, intending to kiss her cheek, but Kensi surprised him, turning her face at the last second so there lips pressed together firmly. He didn’t have enough time to fully appreciate the warmth and softness of her lips against his. “Sorry about that,” he apologized with a soft laugh. “Sometimes we get so caught up in each other we forget other people are around.”

“How lovely,” Thomas commented sarcastically under his breath, just loud enough for Deeks to hear. Deeks winked at him, enjoying the other man’s annoyance.

“Yup, I’m a lucky man.” Kensi shared a smile with him and chuckled sheepishly.

“So, um, Janelle, how did you meet Thomas?” she asked.

“Oh, I was at a bar and Thomas had a martini sent to my table with his number,” Janelle said, suddenly looking self-conscious as she fiddled with her earring.

“Actually, I think it was a manhattan,” Thomas interrupted a little tightly. Janelle eyes flashed as she turned to him and said in a tight voice,

“I don’t think it really matters, Tom. You bought me a drink and I took your number.” There was an awkward silence and then Kensi looked at her watch, and gently grabbed Deeks shoulder.

“Oh honey, we better go. It’s after 8 and you have that debriefing in the morning.”

“I almost forgot about that,” Deeks said, pulling a face as he slid out of his seat and offered a hand to Kensi. “It was nice to meet you, Janelle, Thomas.” Thomas grunted something that might have passed for a agreement while Janelle rushed over and gave him a hug.

“The pleasure was all mine, believe me,” she said fervently, holding onto him a bit longer than necessary. “Don’t be a stranger.”

“Well, he’s a busy guy,” Kensi interrupted, stepping between them. “I’ll see you on Wednesday in class.”

***

“So, did I pass?” Deeks asked as they were walking up to Kensi’s front door. Kensi inclined her head, smirking at him.

“Just barely,” she decided.

“Oh come on, I thought my performance was inspired.” Kensi snorted.

“That resignation story you pulled out was definitely something else. Next time you plan on creating an entire backstory, let me know ahead of time.”

“So that would imply that you expect me to go on more fake dates with you,” he pointed out.

“No, that’s not what I meant,” she sighed. “Hopefully I won’t have to do anything like this for a long time.”

“Well, based on the way Thomas and Janelle were bickering when we left, I’d say our chances of scoring a second double are pretty slim.” He felt a little bad about that part, but if they fought that easily, then their relationship probably wasn’t that solid.

They didn’t talk for a minute, but the silence wasn’t uncomfortable. When they reached her door, Kensi hesitated and then turned to face him directly.

“Thank you for doing this,” she said softly. “You didn’t have to. At all.” He shrugged, brushing off her thanks.

“What else are partners for?” Kensi started to say something, but stopped short and instead wrapped her arms around him. He froze a little as she settled her chin in the cleft of his shoulder, brushing her lips over his cheeks.

“Good night, Deeks,” she whispered.

[whiskynottea]

An Interruption in the 1st Law of Thermodynamics Ficlet -- The Future is Near

A/N: A week ago I got a message by @wickedgoodbooks asking for a wee ficlet about her favourite goofballs. Coincidentally, it was only the previous day that I was thinking of these two too! 

So here is a not-so-wee fluffy ficlet. I loved going back to this AU and I hope you will enjoy reading this! 

AO3

(You can find the main story here and on AO3)

                                                      ~~~~~~ 

I liked Saturday mornings in the library the best. It was quiet, beautiful, and it made me feel like the concept of time disappeared and clocks lost their power in this place. With so few people around, I always imagined that the books were snuggling into their warm leather covers, peacefully asleep. 

I opened the Word document on my laptop and blinked at the cursor that was blinking back at me. Having started a few days ago, I was four pages in and had hardly covered one-third of the subject. 

Way to go, Claire.

I checked my notes again, looking for the paper mentioning the case of a forty-two-year-old man with infective endocarditis and proceeded with writing down the modified Duke criteria used to establish a diagnosis of the infection.

Major criteria

Positive blood culture with typical IE microorganism, defined as one of the following:

Typical microorganism consistent with IE from two separate blood cultures (Viridans-group streptococci, or Streptococcus bovis including nutritional variant strains, or HACEK group, or Staphylococcus aureus, or Community-acquired enterococci, in the absence of a primary focus)

Microorganisms consistent with IE from persistently positive blood cultures (two positive cultures of blood samples drawn >12 hours apart, or three or a majority of ≥four separate blood cultures with first and last sample drawn at least one hour apart, Coxiella burnetii detected by at least one positive blood culture, or IgG antibody titer for Q fever phase 1 antigen >1:800)

My phone buzzed against the heavy wooden table. 

Scot: Where are you, Sassenach?

I blinked at the message, double-checking the time. It was nine o’clock in the morning. Which meant that it was four at night in Michigan and as far as I knew, Jamie had gone to bed early last night.

Sassenach: Why aren’t you sleeping? 

Scot: Why aren’t you in your dorm?

What? I stupidly looked around as though Jamie would pop from between the imposing shelves. How the hell did he know?

Seeing as no red-headed towering Scot was to be spotted, I stared back at my phone in confusion.

Scot: Go back to your room. 

Sassenach: And why would I do that?

Scot: Because Mary stopped talking to me and just stares at her hands.

My heart leapt into my throat and I banged my knee on the table leg while jumping from my seat.

Scot: I think she’ll die of embarrassment because we’re less than two feet apart and when she opened the door she almost attacked me with the table lamp. 

I swallowed my chuckle out of respect for the books that surrounded me.

Sassenach: YOU’RE HERE?

Scot: Where are you?

Sassenach: Library.

Scot: COMING

Sassenach: The Bodleian Library.

I took a few deep breaths while smiling like a loon and sat down again, trying to focus on the essay. 

What was I doing? Right. The major criteria. 

Evidence of endocardial involvement with positive echocardiogram defined as…

I was still smiling. And thinking of Jamie instead of infective endocarditis.

I shook my head and tried to focus on the words I was typing.

Oscillating intracardiac mass on valve or supporting structures…

I was sure that oscillating intracardiac mass was bound to mean something, something different than the constant chanting in my mind that went like: Jamie is here, Jamie is here, he is here, here, here. Jamie is hereee. 

Continuing was a lost cause. I packed my notes and my laptop and left the empty library with a wide grin, belatedly realising that Jamie was coming to me and I shouldn’t leave the place. 

Well, I knew the way back home. I would meet him halfway. 

I forced my feet not to break into a run. Or a dance. It was two months since I’d last touched him, since I was engulfed by his arms, since I bit that bottom lip of his just to hear the groan that always followed.

Maybe not a run, but a trot was surely acceptable. I took my phone from my pocket and called him.

“Making calls from the library?” he asked as soon as he picked up.

“I’m not in the library anymore.”

“Sassenach,” he grunted. “I’m heading to the library.” 

“Well, it’s eighteen minutes away and I thought we could split the distance.”

“Yeah, eighteen minutes because you couldn’t just go to the LMH library which is next to your place.”

“It doesn’t feel the same,” I explained and heard him sighing.

“Aye, I ken. Ye’ve said so about one million times.”

I laughed. My love for the Bodleian library was certainly no secret. “I missed you, Jamie.”

“Not for much longer,” he said and I could hear the impatience in his voice. 

“You’re crazy, by the way. What are you doing here?”

“Coach gave me a week.”

“And?”

“And I couldn’t spend it in Michigan, away from ye. Do I take Parks Road or Banbury Road?”

“You’re already there?”

“Aye.”

“Are you running?”

“Well, not now that we’re talking.”

Crazy, stupid Scot.

“I love you. Take Parks. I’ll meet you halfway.” I ended the call and started walking even faster. 

Two months wasn’t that long, considering that we lived in different continents, but my heart was thumping loud and cheerful in my chest at the thought that I would soon kiss him again.

After our epic breakup when Jamie convinced himself that being apart would hurt less than going through years of a long-distance relationship, he’d realised – the ugly way – that nothing could be worse than losing each other and coming back asking for one more chance.

I gave it to him and never regretted it. Day after day, call after call, text after text, Jamie took the pain of those twenty-six days of our separation away and made me believe in him again. He gained my trust with every little gesture, with every big surprise. 

He was there, always. In the good days, in the bad days. In the days I found my purpose, in the days I lost my courage. In the days I was so exhausted I thought reading one more page would make my brain explode. In the days I felt I had chosen the only profession that could make me fulfil my dreams. Jamie was there to listen, to commiserate, to encourage, to love. 

And I hoped I was there for him, too. Life wasn’t perfect but our love was enough. 

We’d found a routine when we stopped being freshmen intimidated by expectations and we made sure to manage our schedules so that we had time for each other. Not that everything always worked out and we never fought or screamed at each other through our phones when reality and distance crushed us. But there was no fight we couldn’t overcome, no obstacle in our path big enough to break us. 

And when I saw him on Parks Road running towards me, I knew that we had chosen each other, each day, each moment.

“Sassenach,” he breathed close to my ear and took me in his arms, spinning me around as though I weighed nothing. “Oh, babe, I missed ye so much.”

His lips were soft on mine, his tongue tempting as it traced my mouth to make me open to him. One hand found its way down to my arse, and he squeezed in a possessive strike. 

“That plump arse will be the death of me,” he murmured against my lips. 

“Not plump,” I corrected even though I knew he kept saying that to tease me.

“Plump, and perfect, and mine.”

“Mine,” I corrected.

“Ye’re mine, Sassenach,” he growled and a bicycle bell rang from the road next to us, to celebrate or reprimand the inappropriateness of our actions, I wasn’t sure.

“Jamie…” I tried, and failed, to stop him.

“Ah Dhia,” he groaned. “Mary in the room, people here. I need to get ye somewhere and have ye all to myself.”

“Where are you staying?”

“I booked an airbnb.”

Before I could reply his mouth was on mine and he was kissing me like a thirsty man who just found an oasis full of springs in the desert. With a hand still on my arse and the other lost in my curls, he pulled me closer until I melted into him, his chest hard, and solid, and warm, and there. Close. Tangible. 

“Let’s go,” he said and withdrew with eyes closed and a pained expression on his face. “God, it hurts not to touch ye.”

“Is it too early for check-in?” I asked and he nodded his assent. “Then you have to be patient,” I murmured. “Coffee?”

He held my hand in his as though it was a lifeline and we started walking down the street towards my favourite cafe.

“Why didn’t you say you were coming?” I asked with a frown. 

“I wanted to wake you up and surprise you, Sassenach, but you made it impossible.”

“Sorry,” I replied, not looking remorseful at all. 

“It doesna matter.” He grinned and pulled me closer, planting a kiss on my head. “Ye ken, Sassenach,” he started in a hesitating voice.

“Yes?”

“‘Tis Saturday.”

“Mhmm. I’ve heard.”

“And tomorrow it’s Sunday.”

“Aren’t you just brilliant?” I replied with a mocking grin and he made a silly face. 

“And the room I booked?”

“The one you’re supposed to check-in later?”

“Aye, that one.”

“What about that?”

“I booked it for Monday.”

That stopped me in my tracks. “What?” I asked stupefied. “Why?”

“I was thinking… Well, I thought…”

“Jamie…”

“Aye, aye. ‘Tis the weekend and ye dinna have classes, so I thought I could kidnap ye and take ye for a trip to Edinburgh. What do ye say, Sassenach? Jenny keeps nagging that it’s been ages since she last saw both of us.”

“Edinburgh?”

“Aye. I ken ye have the essay ye’re working on, but I thought it’d be nice to go back.”

Edinburgh. It wasn’t a bad idea. In fact, it was a really, really good idea.

“Okay,” I said with a smile.

“Aye?”

“Aye, you insufferable Scot. Let’s go to Edinburgh. It’s been a while since I’ve seen Jenny kicking your arse.”

He looked at me with wide eyes, feigning surprise. “And here I thought ye like my arse!”

We went back to my dorm where I quickly packed my toothbrush and a change of clothes and ran to the train station. It was a six-hours trip that I was never excited to make, but having Jamie sitting next to me changed everything. The destination didn’t matter anymore – it was the journey and the time we would spend together that was important.

The train rolled on the rails and Jamie wrapped his arm around me, pulling me impossibly close. I laid my head on his chest and closed my eyes, the scent of his cologne permeated my senses. We fell in a comfortable silence thick with love and contentment, two ships finding haven in a deserted island. 

When I opened my eyes I was greeted by the British landscape and a small tilt of my head revealed that Jamie had fallen asleep. Locks of auburn hair had fallen on his forehead and a soft smile was curving up his lips.

It was happiness that filled my lungs with my next breath. So simple, so pure.

It seemed that I fell asleep as well and we both woke up because of the commotion when we reached Sheffield. With the confusion granted by awakenings, we looked out the window for a moment until Jamie yawned and hugged me tighter.

“I’d forgotten how long this trip is,” he said in a gruff, sleepy voice.

“At least we were sleeping during the first half of it.”

“Aye. I was exhausted. Didna manage to sleep enough on the plane.”

“Mmm, you never do.”

“In contrast to other people, I’m not mentioning any names mind you, who sleep in airports and almost miss their flights!”

“I happened only once, okay?”

“Are ye sure? Because I remember you running to your gate –”

“Hey!” I interrupted, elbowing his stomach. Not that he would feel anything with the six-pack he’d made for himself through training. “The other two times –”

“Three.”

I huffed in indignation. “Three times,” I consented, narrowing my eyes at him, “These times I wasn’t sleeping. I was just distracted!”

“Still. It counts.”

“It doesn’t.”

“Ye were reading yer books and got so engrossed in them that you almost lost yer connecting flight. It counts.”

“Fuck you,” I whispered in his ear because there was a mother with a sweet little boy at the seats in front of ours, but I was smiling and he must have heard it.

“Only with you. And I canna wait.” He placed an opened mouth kiss on my neck and I bit back a moan.

“I hate you, Jamie Fraser,” I keened, unable to imbue my voice with the strength the sentiment owed to have.

Jamie, his eyes on my heaving chest, murmured back, “I’m looking forward to ye hating me a bit more.”

“I’ll punish you for that,” I vowed and ran my hand up his tight, stopping exactly where he didn’t want me to.

His groan made a shiver ran down my spine.  

To distract ourselves from images of savouring each other, we bought salt and vinegar crisps, jaffa cakes and hobnobs. Jamie devoured half of them before I had even finished my handful of crisps.

“I thought you professionals had to watch your diet,” I mumbled, still chewing.

Jamie looked semi-embarrassed for a moment, then shrugged. “Cheat day.”

“Okay, if that’s the label you put on your sins…”

“These are totally healthy Sassenach,” he said with a crooked smile. “Vegetables.” He raised the package of crisps and shook it between us. “These have oats and oats are verra nutritious,” he said with a nudge at the hobnobs and these…” he hesitated for a moment.

“Have orange jam so it’s like eating fruits?” I suggested.

“See?” He grinned. “You get me.”

I laughed and took one of the jaffa cakes before they all disappeared into the giant’s mouth. 

I hoped we didn’t smell like oranges when we arrived in Edinburgh.

“I hope we won’t smell like oranges when we arrive in Edinburgh,” Jamie echoed my thought and I turned to look at him, wide-eyed and incredulous.

“Why?” I asked before he had enough time to think what he just said.

“Because Jenny –” he stopped abruptly. “Shite.”

“Oh my god.”

“Ye ken?”

“You know too?”

We gaped at each other, unsure how to proceed. 

“Jenny hates oranges as of late,” I stated.

“Aye.”

“Do you know why?”

“Do you?”

“Yes,” I confessed feeling a smile curving up the corners of my mouth.

“I will kill her!” Jamie exclaimed and started typing furiously on his phone before he asked me to pose for an angry selfie.

“She says she wanted to check how long we would keep it from each other!” he exclaimed in frustration a moment later. “That evil…”

I barked a laugh, shaking my head. “This sister of yours is unbelievable.”

“Aye, she reminds me of yer best friend,” he retorted. 

“So this was why you wanted to go to Edinburgh?” I asked and saw his eyes soften and his lips mirror mine in a grin.

“I will be an uncle, Sassenach!”

“I know! It was the best news! Although, now that I think about it, it was bound to happen, sooner or later.”

“She said it wasna exactly planned, but they were so happy when we talked. Ian has even started building a crib because he wants something special for the baby.”

“Ian is the sweetest,” I said and the screen of Jamie’s phone lit up with a new message from Jenny. It was a picture of her and Ian laughing and below it wrote, ‘We love you! All three of us!”

“Do they know we’re on the way?” 

Jamie smiled mischievously and shook his head. 

“Suits them right.” 

We finished eating while speculating about the baby’s sex, Jenny and Ian’s wedding and the possibility of Ian failing in his endeavour to build a crib on his own. 

In eight months, Jenny would be a mum. It felt surreal and yet so right.

The future wasn’t that far away, it seemed.

“I was talking to Maisri the other day. About you.”

“Aye?” His voice was low but I felt the question vibrating through his body. 

“About your dream of getting your own swimming pool and teaching children with intellectual disabilities. When you told me that John wanted to be your partner and invest in your plan once you both come back to the UK, I couldn’t stop thinking about it. Maisri wants to be a psychiatrist, you know. She said it’s a brilliant idea. She’d read a review published a few years ago that claimed that hydrotherapy shows potential as a treatment method for social interactions and behaviours in children with autism spectrum disorders. And we were thinking that muscle building will also help with balance and mobility.”

“‘Tis still a dream, ye ken that, aye?”

“I know. I’m just reminding you that it’s a great dream.”

Jamie chuckled and gently tucked an errant curl behind my ear. “Thank ye, mo ghraidh.” A soft kiss on my temple. “But first, I have one more year in the US and I want to make it to the Senior Gold Squad of the Scottish Swimming National Squad Selections.”

“Mmm,” I agreed with a kiss on his chest. “I’m sure you will. You’re one of the top competitive swimmers in your uni and you’ve already won medals. They’ll be fools not to have you.”

“And then I will be an hour away, Sassenach. An hour away,” he repeated. “Can you imagine?”

“An hour by plane. Six hours by car.”

“Even so. I will be able to come to see you at weekends. Every. Single. Weekend.”

It was that moment when it hit me. 

“I have to find a place,” I said, frowning.

Jamie mirrored my expression. “Ye dinna want to?”

I was silent, thinking about it, considering my options and the budget I could afford, but apparently Jamie perceived my silence as a denial. “I guess I can book a room when I’m in Oxford if you want to stay with Mary.” There was a bitterness in his voice that he didn’t manage to conceal. 

“No, I don’t. It’s not that. “ He didn’t seem convinced. He turned slightly and gazed out the window. “Jamie…”

“‘Tis fine,” he said in a low voice.

“No, it’s not. Look at me.” When he didn’t, I cupped his face with both hands until his eyes were on mine. “Will you stop jumping into conclusions? I didn’t reply immediately because I hadn’t considered finding a place of my own before. I’ll talk to uncle Lamb.”

“Ye don’t have to if ye dinna want it, Sassenach.”

I could almost taste his disappointment and I wanted to kiss him until he knew that I didn’t have any second thoughts about that. 

“Who said I don’t want it?” When he didn’t reply I pulled his head down so that his lips were on mine. “A place of my own?” I whispered on his mouth. “To be with my stubborn Scot every weekend?” I licked his lips and they opened for me. “Hell yes,” I said and kissed him until we were gasping for breath.

When we broke apart, we were both smiling. The future wasn’t that far away anymore.

[flyinghome-againstthewind]

the best by far is you: chapter 10

Read on AO3

Previous Chapter

For all the things my hands have held The best by far is you -  Cecilia and the satellite

------------

Summary: An exploration of Claire & Jamie’s story if their firstborn had lived and they had the chance to be parents together of wee Faith Fraser before the Battle of Culloden.

A very special thank you to Michaela for providing a perfect moodboard!

Chapter 10

“Mama?” 

Her eyes drifted open from sleep by the sound of Faith’s voice, soft and baby-like. Claire grunted tiredly, but nevertheless drank in the sight of the baby girl sitting up in bed by her pillow. “What are you doing here?” She asked. A smile bloomed on Claire’s face as she took in the sleep-tousled curls and Faith’s flushed cheeks, one marked with a deep red line from where she’d slept on it.   

Faith didn’t answer her question ‒ Claire didn’t expect her to ‒ but she did respond with a soft smile of her own, slow and languid. Claire rolled from her side to her back as Faith leaned forward and gathered the girl up on top of her chest. Her head rested just above Claire’s nightgown, her cheek pillowed against her mother’s skin. She yawned then and seemed to melt into her on the exhale, her eyes drifting shut. 

“This is your spot, isn’t it?” Claire turned to kiss the girl’s forehead. “Since the day you were born.” How many times had they laid like this, and felt all was right with the world in that moment? Too numerous to count. 

Faith’s fingers curled around the edge of Claire’s nightgown and she looked up to catch Claire’s gaze. “Hello, lovey,” she murmured. Her fingers gently teased Faith’s wild curls away from her face. 

“‘llo, Mama,” Faith echoed and then hummed as Claire continued to play with her hair, never breaking eye contact, though her eyes crinkled with joy. 

My whole heart. 

“Faith, I lov‒”      

Her breath came in a stuttering gasp, eyes flying open in the dark. She reached over and found only the edge of her hospital bed. 

She was alone.  

Her body curled in on itself while she clutched a pillow to her chest and smothered her sobs there. 

The weight of her grief settled in around her as the last vestiges of her dream fell away, and her new reality became starkly clear. 

She was alone in 1948 ‒ a time in which everyone she loved was undoubtedly dead. And without Jamie, Faith, and Fergus… without Murtagh and the Murrays… with only dreams and memories to haunt her, she wished she could curl up and die right there in that bed. 

She wanted it ‒ wanted death to come swift and easy, to bring her at once to whatever came next, where Jamie promised he would be waiting for her. Where he would find her.

But there was no impulse to act on this wish and in some rational corner of her mind still functioning, she knew there was only one thing standing in her way, keeping her tethered to this world. 

The baby. 

Part of all that would be left of Jamie. Of their life together.  

But even while she would live for the baby, she couldn’t think of it growing inside her without the sharp twist of a knife in her gut. 

Her arm muscles ached from the hour she had carried Faith. Had that only just happened that morning? Her mind felt foggy from the drug-induced sleep but her body wouldn’t let her forget. One hour after eight months apart and then… 

She clutched the pillow tighter, and the howl that tore from her throat didn’t even sound human.

One hour after eight months apart and then never again would she hold Faith in her arms.

Only in her dreams…   

On her second day in the hospital, Frank arrived. Seeing his face again was jarring, both in how it grounded her in this time, and made her blood run cold at its uncanny resemblance to another face that still haunted her. 

“I’m so glad you’re back,” Frank said in a tight whisper. He reached for her hand and eased himself carefully into the seat at her bedside. She was dumbstruck at seeing him and could hardly manage to look him in the eye, but when she did, there was no anger or hurt staring back at her. Only his love, his broken heart over the missing years, and his widespread relief to find her once more ‒ though these feelings were likely to change when she told him the truth.

“I’m pregnant.” The words slipped out into the space between them and Claire studied his face, watching for any hint of the quiet anger she knew he could possess. Better to rip the bandaid off than try to hide her condition. 

“I know,” he said softly. “I spoke with your doctors.” His gaze dropped to where he still held her hand and he squeezed it gently, collecting himself. He was rattled by the news, she could see, even as he tried to present a calm front. “Darling, I can’t imagine what you’ve been through, but I’m here now. We’ll get through this.” 

His meaning snapped into place with stunning clarity and Claire’s breath left her in a rush. “I‒ I wasn’t attacked or… or held captive.” Her hand withdrew from his grasp and settled protectively over her still-flat stomach. “This baby isn’t‒” 

“It’s alright. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said anything,” he cut in quickly to quiet her and gave her a stiff smile. But she saw the flash of doubt in his eyes all the same. He didn’t believe her. “We don’t have to talk about the particulars just now. None of that matters, anyhow. I won’t leave you.”

She recognized the old habit in him of skirting around the uncomfortable ‒ and this was certainly uncomfortable ‒ but his assumption sat like molten hot lead in her stomach and her face suddenly felt flushed. 

“Really, I’m sorry to have upset you, Claire,” he said quickly before she could broach any sort of explanation. “God, I’m just so relieved to see you.” He cleared his throat, glassy-eyed. “I’ve been in contact with Reverend Wakefield. He was thrilled to hear about you and he’s prepared some rooms for us to stay there while you convalesce.”

She let the matter of her pregnancy go for now. It would take hours to tell him the truth of it, and even then he might find her to be insane by the end. And the mention of Reverend Wakefield lit a spark in her ‒ he had a library’s worth of resources and also‒ 

“Is Mrs. Graham still in his employ?” 

“Mrs. Graham?” Frank looked mildly perplexed. “I didn’t ask, but I would assume so...” 

  He could see the change in her right away ‒ like a light had gone out from within. She kept to herself that first week, spoke only in an exchange of pleasantries. Even though she was there ‒ she was actually physically there with him after three years  ‒  she seemed a different person entirely. 

At first, Frank thought it must be the shock of returning, but as the days passed at the Wakefield residence and Claire remained distant, it seemed whatever she experienced while she was gone had altered her forever. 

Beyond the mention of her pregnancy, he had no notion of where she’d been or what had happened to her, but a picture was beginning to build in his mind’s eye. She hadn’t been physically harmed, according to her doctors, but she had been malnourished, perhaps from neglect. And someone had gotten his wife with child. Frank breathed in sharply. He thought that bit of news would sink in, but a knot was still in his stomach. With signs pointing towards her mistreatment, he couldn’t imagine that Claire had run off with someone, that she would’ve chosen to leave him, but… 

But there had been that moment when he told her he knew about the baby. Something in her eyes had flashed before him and he knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that he had encountered the very edges of a mother’s protective fury for her child. It had stunned him and truthfully unnerved him a little. Not that she would already care for the little thing ‒ they had both longed for a child for years ‒ but that he should be the one on the outside. If she’d been attacked… what would cause her to want to shield the baby from him? He’d already assured her that he would stand by her, but somehow that statement felt like it had done more damage with Claire.   

Frank turned toward the windows in Reverend Wakefield’s study and watched for a moment as Claire sat out in the garden, her head bent over a book. 

The Battle of Culloden. Somehow that had become an obsession of hers since her return and he couldn’t make sense of it if he tried. 

…What the hell had happened to her?    

Claire registered Mrs. Graham’s presence as the afternoon tea was brought out to her, but she didn’t look up from the pages of her book to greet her. As the kindly housekeeper set a cup of tea on the table, Mrs. Graham suddenly broke the silence. 

“Och, lass, you’ll only create nightmares for yourself poring over those accounts.” 

Claire finally met her gaze and swallowed thickly. “There might be clues in here, or even an account of the two of them if I’m lucky. I’d rather know what happened to them. It’s not knowing that keeps me up at night.” 

Mrs. Graham smiled pityingly at her. “Aye…”

“There were wanted posters for him put up all over England and Scotland during the rising, you know. Not just for him ‒ all famous traitors to the crown who were involved in the rising ‒ but… he’s the only one I can’t seem to find any mention of after Culloden. If the British cared enough to make him a traitor, to… to vilify him as they did, you’d think they would’ve looked for him. You’d think someone would’ve bothered to write that down. It’s not like ‘Butcher Cumberland’ to let grievances go.” 

Mrs. Graham took a seat next to Claire. “Ye told me that ye didn’t think Faith traveled at all‒” 

“I mean, I don’t know for sure and I’ve never traveled with someone before, but… I can’t describe it, but there was a moment in the in-between and I was alone. I don’t think she traveled at all, but I can’t even know that for sure.” 

“Still,” Mrs. Graham patted her hand. “Ye would ken better than I. And if she didn’t travel, then she was with Jamie. Maybe the two of them got away safely.” 

“I want that to be what happened,” she rasped, her eyes burning with tears. “God, I want them to have survived it. But I begged him to run with us and he wouldn’t. He said he was doomed to die one way or another and he wouldn’t risk us. I know he would give his life to protect her. I know he would do everything to keep her safe. But these men?” She waved the book in her hands ‒ an account of Cumberland and his troops in The Rising and immediately afterwards. “Pages and pages of how they slaughtered the Jacobites and destroyed the Highland way of life. I don’t need to read every account to know what little disregard they would have for my daughter’s life if she and Jamie encountered them.” 

Hot tears were spilling down her face, and when Mrs. Graham sniffled softly beside her, she found the older woman softly crying as well. “I canna imagine what it’s like for ye. But I worry that this is consuming ye, my dear. And what’ll that do to the bairn ye’re carrying?”  

Claire swallowed roughly and her tear-clouded vision dropped to the book in her lap. How could she not be consumed by this?        

“You have children, don’t you, Mrs. Graham?” Her voice wobbled as she asked the question. 

“Och, aye,” Mrs. Graham replied awkwardly. “My husband and I had three bairns together.” 

“And if you lost one… if you were separated from one and you had no idea what became of them, could you just put that to bed? Would it be enough for you to love the next child as though you’d never known the first?” 

Her words were spoken softly but they had a scalding effect and Mrs. Graham drew in a deep breath. “No,” she said at last. “No, I dinna think I could let it go.” 

“I know they’re both long dead by now. I know. But I need to know if they were killed that day or shortly after or if… if Faith was able to grow up… if Jamie lived and was able to raise her.” Claire’s arm folded tightly across her chest, holding herself together. “I didn’t… didn’t tell her goodbye,” she admitted in a hoarse whisper and Mrs. Graham made a soft sound at that. Her hand suddenly brushed back Claire’s curls in the first display of motherly tenderness Claire could recall receiving from someone in a long time. “I… I only told her it would be alright. Those were my last words to her. Even when we left her at Lallybroch, I… Jamie said his goodbye to her but I never thought I’d lose her forever. I heard him promise her that he would make sure we were reunited someday and…” She shrugged one shoulder helplessly. “It was Jamie so I believed him. I told her…” Her chin quivered before her face disappeared behind her hands. “I told her it was only goodbye for now, not forever. I lied to her. I left her.” 

Since she’d arrived here, she’d kept her crying confined to her room at night, but here with Mrs. Graham, her resolve crumbled and a sob broke free. 

“Oh, my dear.” Claire was pulled rather gently by the shoulders and gathered against Mrs. Graham, who stroked her hair and murmured softly. 

“I’m her mother and I never said goodbye or told her again how much I loved her,” she cried. “The least I can do is find out what happened to her and‒ and make sure she isn’t forgotten. Maybe in some way, she’ll know. That I looked for her and that I loved her.”

“My poor dear,” Mrs. Graham murmured above her, seemingly at a loss for what else to say. Claire held her arms tight about her, the only physical comfort she’d known in days. 

“I know it’s hard now and I don’t pretend to know what ye’ve been through.” She gave Claire a small, fortifying squeeze. “But in time… I’m glad ye’ll have this bairn. It doesn’t mean ye won’t miss them, but ye won’t be alone. And ye’ll have a piece of them with ye. This new bairn won’t be exactly like yer Faith, nor will he or she replace her in yer heart, but ye’ll notice things about yer second born ‒ how she’s different from Faith, how she’s alike ‒ and that will keep Faith alive, too. Hold onto that, aye? When the days are hard, hold onto that.”   

“I don’t know what to do,” she admitted in a choked whisper, and felt Mrs. Graham stiffen. 

“What do ye mean, dear?” 

She pulled away slightly, still sniffling, and Mrs. Graham held her hand, as if knowing she still needed a soothing touch. “I can’t‒” Claire shook her head slightly. “I can’t move on from them. I can’t stop looking until I know. But…” she breathed in deep and exhaled shakily. “I‒ I haven’t figured out what comes after that. I can’t think about the baby just yet. I wish…God, I wish everything else would just hold until I knew. That time would just hold for me.” 

Mrs. Graham smiled sadly and patted her hand, seeming to digest her words. “Ye don’t have to figure anything out just yet,” she said at last. 

“Thank you,” Claire murmured. “For everything.”      

  “Reverend?” 

Reggie Wakefield looked up from his letter to find Claire Randall before him with a small stack of his own books clutched to her chest. He made a sound of startled joy at the sight of her and motioned for her to join him at the table. “I haven’t seen anyone so interested in my collection in such a long time, Mrs. Randall. Does my heart good to see ye enjoying them.” 

In truth, he had spoken with Frank at length about her curious obsession, but as odd as it was, he wouldn’t dream of voicing any of those concerns to such a kindly and elusive woman as Claire Randall.  

“Have ye found everything ye needed, then?” 

“Actually, I…” She stopped herself suddenly and smiled politely at him, hesitant. “Well, first, thank you for being so kind to allow me to go through your collection. I did wonder if you had any other books that perhaps I hadn’t looked at yet.”

“Well…” He scratched at his jaw absentmindedly as he thought about it. “I believe I gave ye every book on the subject of the Battle of Culloden and its aftermath. The rest would focus on the earlier risings and what preceded the ‘45, ye ken.”  

“I see,” she said softly, sounding very sad to him. 

“But I’ll have another look, just to be sure. Perhaps I missed one or two books that could be of use to ye.”

“Thank you,” she breathed, full of relief, and a stunning smile followed shortly. She was an odd sort since she’d returned, but it was plain to see that she was hurting and even if he didn’t understand it, Reggie felt inclined to help the poor young woman however he could. There were rumors ‒ nasty rumors ‒ flying about town since she turned up last week, including scandalous speculation around her condition. He’d done what he could to put those to bed, to address his opinion on the matter by opening his home to the Randalls. And while he hadn’t a single clue as to her whereabouts for three years, the more time he spent with Mrs. Randall, the more indignant he grew over the gossip that swirled around her. It was all so uncalled for. 

He was so caught up in this reflection that he didn’t register what Mrs. Randall had said to him. “Sorry, my dear. What did you say?” 

Oddly, her face flushed and she looked as though she might not repeat it. But she surprised him by blurting out, “Did the British kill any children after Culloden?”

His brows reached his hairline and he struggled to answer.

“I know they showed little mercy to those who fought on the Jacobite side,” she added quickly. “But I’m wondering if there’s anything about how they would’ve treated family members of known Jacobites… like perhaps their children?” 

He drew in a slow breath and prepared his answer, but his gaze caught hers at the last moment, and he saw something there that stopped him in his tracks: a deep pain and desperate hope mingled together. “Why don’t I help you look into this, hmm? We can work on this together.”

She seemed taken aback by this offer at first, but smiled again. “Thank you, Reverend. That’s very kind of you.” She looked down, her fingers tracing the corner of one of the books. “Can I… can I actually ask for your help in trying to find someone who lived during that time?” 

“Oh, of course, of course,” he chuckled. That was something he could do for her. 

“I’ve been trying to find some record of her. Her name is‒ was…” She hesitated for a moment, needing to collect herself. Something about her reaction had his hairs standing on end. “Her name was Faith Fraser. She may have been called Faith Murray, if... well, I don’t know for sure if they would’ve raised her. Or…” She straightened suddenly. “Or if she married… I wouldn’t know her name at all.” She seemed to sink under the weight of this realization and Reggie took pity on her. 

“We’ll start with what you know,” he added kindly, patting her hand. “Even a marriage record should have her maiden name.” 

“Yes,” Claire said rather distantly. “Yes, good.” 

“Do you know whenabouts she would’ve been born?” He prodded gently, trying to engage her as a distant look had crossed her face since the mention of marriage. She drew in a deep breath and began to answer him.  

“May 12, 1744. She was born in Paris but her family moved back to Scotland before the end of the year. She lived on the family’s estate called Broch Turach for a time, though it was sometimes referred to as Lallybroch.”

“Yes, I know the one‒”

“Ownership of Lallybroch was changed over to her cousin, James Murray, dated in 1745, but his parents would’ve managed it until he came of age. That’s Ian and Janet Murray,” she rattled off easily. “The Murrays also‒” She swallowed roughly, struggling to get the rest of it out. “If her father died or was taken away, I believe the Murrays would’ve raised Faith. Her father was James Alexander Malcolm MacKenzie Fraser and he was a known Jacobite...” She glanced out the window suddenly, focusing on the trio of birds flitting about a nearby tree. “He didn’t fight in Culloden, but he would’ve been near there at the time of the battle and I’d… well, I’d like to find out about both of them, you see, but James Fraser is quite a common name then and I’ve been struggling in my research to find him. I’m hoping if we can find Faith… we can find Jamie, too.” Mrs. Randall looked back suddenly to catch his curious gaze. “Is that enough to start?” 

“Oh. Oh, yes, my dear. That should do,” he said swiftly. “Tell me,” he began cautiously, measuring his next words. “Why are we looking into Faith Fraser? Who is she to you?” 

A strange expression crossed her face, making the well-intentioned Reverend regret his mere curiosity. 

“Who is she to me?” She echoed his question in a hoarse whisper. “She’s everything.” Her eyes were glistening with tears and he couldn’t begin to explain how odd this whole conversation was. “So I need everything that you can find about her and Jamie. Please.”

“Aye, Mrs. Randall. I’ll do my best.” He smiled weakly to ease the tension but she never caught his eye.  

Frank thought that with time, the Claire he once knew would return to him, even in just small glimmers. But days passed and she remained committed to the routine she’d developed here early on; she kept to herself, taking breakfast in her own room, and when she did appear in the sitting room or garden or the study, it was always still with those damn books. 

She pored over them constantly and prowled the bookshelves for titles she may have missed. She avoided conversations at meals, her eyes downcast at her plate, though the Reverend carried on cheerfully with him at every supper as if none of this was strange. 

Claire had taken Mrs. Graham into her confidence early on, sequestering the housekeeper into Claire’s room for hours that first day they arrived. Since then, she was the only person Claire really talked to. 

Until recently, at least. 

Somehow, Frank was on the outside from his own wife while Reverend Wakefield and Mrs. Graham ‒ two people who had been strangers to Claire a few years ago ‒ were brought into her circle of trust. 

Worst of all, the Reverend wouldn’t discuss with him what it was that he was working on with Claire, skirting his questions and assuring him it was only a little history project, not unlike their own when Frank had first visited him. 

 She wouldn’t even talk to him outside of pleasantries when they saw each other, and he was torn between wanting to wait for her to initiate, and wanting to look beyond this time at the Wakefield house and live their lives again.

Because whatever the hell was happening here, it wasn’t really living. 

“Claire?” He rapped lightly on her door and waited for a response. “It’s Frank.” 

After supper, he’d had a dram with Reggie, which had turned into two drams and then three, and now his head swirled a little even as he rested his forehead against the door jam. 

This was the antithesis of Reggie’s advice ‒ give her time, man, it hasn’t even been two weeks ‒ but his feet seemed to lead him to her door of their own volition. 

When he heard Claire’s soft “come in?”, his heart leapt to his throat and he hesitated. He wasn’t even sure what he meant to say to her; he only knew he wanted her to tell him something.  

He pushed in and found her in one of the two chairs by the fireplace in her room, and she was tucking loose sheets of paper into a book and setting it aside. For some reason, the fact that she was still studying up on Culloden into the night made him inexplicably annoyed. 

She looked up at him curiously, no doubt wondering why he was here.

Why was he here? 

He had composed this conversation so many times in his head over the last several days, wanting to initiate it more with each passing day… needing to know but also wanting to be delicate with this new Claire, as everyone had been telling him. And then there was some small part of him that didn’t want to know at all. 

But the whisky had loosened his tongue and he found himself blurting out the words without much tact to them at all. “Where the hell have you been, Claire?”

She felt her stomach drop at his question ‒ though really, she shouldn’t have been surprised. At some point, she would need to tell him, but the very thought of telling him the truth sent her heart rate skyrocketing. Mrs. Graham had been someone Claire could trust, but to almost anyone else, she knew her story sounded insane. If she hadn’t lived it herself, she might not have believed it to be true. 

“I’m sorry,” Frank said quickly when she froze, waving his arm a little too wildly. So he was tipsy, then… “I‒ I don’t want to pressure you to talk if you’re not ready. I‒”

“Have a seat, Frank.” 

He shuffled over to the chair opposite her and sat with folded hands in front of his face, elbows propped on his knees. “I really didn’t mean to… the truth is, Claire, I don’t care where you were or what happened. I’m just so relieved to have you back. But… I feel like there’s this wall between us now and I just want you back. I want our life back.” 

She breathed in slowly and dropped her gaze, a little ashamed that her own desire didn’t echo his. Maybe it would be better if he knew, even if he judged her. Even if he didn’t believe her. At least then there would be nothing to hide and she could accept whatever his feelings were once the truth was out in the open

“I’ll tell you,” she said softly. “I’ll tell you everything but please let me tell it all at once and have it over with before you ask any questions.” 

She slid her gaze back to his and found his expression to be unreadable, but he swallowed roughly and agreed. 

  She talked for hours, pausing every now and then to drink so her throat wouldn’t dry out, and when she finished, the sky outside her room was streaked with the first soft pink lines of daybreak. 

She had stuttered over the last moments of her time in 1746… of her goodbye with Jamie and waking up alone without Faith. 

While she talked, Frank kept his promise and only listened, sometimes in the chair with his gaze on the fire, which he tended to all through the night, and other times he paced the short length of her bedroom. He was pacing at the time that she finished her story and a heavy silence fell between them like the drop of a curtain. 

 Having said the words out loud again for the second time, Claire suddenly wished she could be alone, feeling the grief tsunami on the periphery, about to sweep through her again. God, she ached for them in a way she didn’t know was possible. 

But Frank was still in the room with her, quiet in a way that meant he was still sifting through his thoughts. At last, he scrubbed a hand over his face and sighed. 

“So that’s what you’ve been doing with your history books and Reverend Wakefield… You’ve been looking for him.” 

“And for Faith. For both of them, yes.” 

“What happens if you find a record of them?” 

“Then I’ll… I’ll know what happened to them.” 

“That’s it?” 

“Yes,” she said hotly. “I just want to know what happened to them.” 

“You won’t try to go back?” 

Oh. 

She breathed in sharply. “I hadn’t thought about it,” she lied, feeling the color rise to her cheeks. The whole point of this had been to tell him the truth. “I don’t know if I can travel again,” she added, which was the honest truth. “It’s… it’s hard to describe. But it feels like it takes something from you each time and the screaming‒” 

“Screaming?” Frank looked curious now, his interest in this unknown finally piqued. 

But the remembrance of it had a shiver running through Claire. “I can hear the voices of those who haven’t made it through and were lost to the stones.” Even with all that they’d talked about overnight, that statement might have been the strangest thing she’d uttered yet. 

His expression turned equal parts horrified and fascinated and then faded all together with a short nod of his head. “Hmm,” was all he had to say to that. He strode over to his chair and seated himself across from her. She got the distinct impression that he was entertained by the idea but wouldn’t put any stock in what she had just described. 

“And what if… you don’t find any record of them?” He asked carefully. 

“Are you asking that because you don’t believe any of this or because‒”

“Claire, I’m asking…” He cut her off and then took a deep breath, choosing his next words. “I’m asking because someone needs to. You spend every waking moment with your head bent over one of these books or writing your notes or discussing with the Reverend where to look next. How long will you keep going if nothing turns up? How long will you make me wait before we can actually start our life together again?” He had started off cool and collected, but had turned frantic with his pleading by the end. “I just got you back,” he added. “Have you any idea what it’s been like for me, Claire? Having you ripped away without a trace and never knowing what happened to you? And all the while, everyone was telling me that you’d up and run off with another man!” 

Stunned by his outburst, it took her a moment to speak. “I’m sorry, Frank. Truly. I didn’t intend for it to happen and I wish there was some way I could’ve told you I was alright while I was gone. That I was safe.”

“But you didn’t wish to come back to me,” he said bitterly. It was petty, even for Frank, but neither of them had slept yet, she reminded herself. 

“I had a child.” She was patient but unapologetic in pointing that out. Frank wouldn’t meet her eye. “I had a whole family with Jamie. And Jamie was‒”

The love of my life.

She swallowed back those words. There were other ways to phrase it, especially considering her audience. “I loved him very much. I didn’t plan for it and I’m sorry for the ways this has hurt you, Frank, but I can’t change what happened.” 

“But you are here now, Claire, and you’re with me.” He finally met her gaze again. “And I’m grateful for that. For a second chance. I only worry for you with how… how consumed you are with this.”

“Well, at what point did you stop looking for me, Frank? What’s the magical number of days before it’s acceptable to move on?” 

He recoiled as if she’d slapped him in the face, and she felt a small pang of regret for those words. Somehow, he still possessed the ability to provoke something juvenile in the way she responded to him, and she hated that. “I never‒ Claire, that was different, and I never stopped hoping you would return! But I did have to go back to work at some point, and in your case… Christ, you never talk about the baby but it will be here in a matter of months so perhaps we should start.”

The mention of the baby struck a nerve that lately everyone had been poking and prodding ‒ as if this baby existed on its own. As if it wasn’t made by her and Jamie on a cold February night, seeking warmth and solace in each other. And for Claire, any thought of the baby came with thoughts of her first baby. They couldn’t exist separately in her mind. “Until you know what it’s like to bring a child into this world and have her quite literally ripped from your arms, you don’t get to tell me when to stop looking. Faith is this baby’s sister and that doesn’t go away when the baby is born.”

To his credit, Frank looked properly chastised by her words. “Claire,” he began softly and then took her hand gently between his own. “I only mean to say that you might never find them, and I worry what that will do to you if you keep at this pace of searching. And what will you do when the baby is here? Drag him along to the library with you?”

“I’m not sure that’s any of your concern,” she snapped.

His hold on her hand tightened. “Not any of my concern,” he scoffed quietly. “No, why would that concern me? You’re only my wife.” 

She leaned back from him, pulling her hand free with her, but was startled to see tears in his eyes accompanying the bite of his voice. 

“Do you even believe me about any of this?” 

“Does it matter if I do?” He countered. “You’re back with me now and‒” 

“Yes, and pregnant with Jamie’s child.”

“I know. But he isn’t here with you, is he?” If he was intending to hurt her, his words hit their mark. “And besides, I… Look, I know this child isn’t mine, but I want to raise it with you.” 

“You do?” 

“Yes.” He was more adamant than she expected. “I’ve had a lot of time to think since you’ve come back and that’s all I want for us now ‒ to raise a family together.”  

She tried to picture it, this life he was so insistent that he wanted with her. How would Frank handle a baby? How would he handle teething and sleepless nights and‒ 

Instead, what flooded her mind were the images and memories of her life before: Jamie taking turns with her on the rough nights with Faith. Carrying her in the crook of one elbow as he strolled about the grounds of Lallybroch with Ian. Telling her stories at night, during the long winter months and well before she could even comprehend what he was saying. She was enraptured with his voice, though. Claire remembered that so clearly, how Faith would stare up at him while he talked, studying his face with keen interest and cooing softly every now and then. Jamie would pause at every sound she made and smile, making up some interpretation of her noises to add Faith’s opinion of the story. Och, aye, ye’re right. Wasna verra nice, was it? 

She fell more in love with Jamie, seeing him as a father ‒ a role he was born for and something so integral to who he was at his core. 

Could she… have that with Frank? Could she just raise a child with him, all the while being haunted by the memories of Jamie and Faith at every turn? Would Frank even love a child that wasn’t his, after years of insisting he couldn’t? 

To her horror, tears spilled down her cheeks and she wiped at them furiously. “I think it’s too soon to have this conversation. I’m‒ I’m sorry.”

He let out a resigned sigh, as if he expected this, and stood. “Get some rest. We’ll talk more about this another time.” He made for the door and paused, giving her one more look back. “And Claire?” She met his gaze, hoping the fresh wave of grief wasn’t too plainly obvious on her face. “At some point ‒ and soon ‒ you have to start living again.” 

The sound of the door shutting behind him echoed hollowly through the room, and his last words to her hung in the stale air. 

Her hand found its way to her belly, which felt slightly curved now under her palm. For weeks, she’d been living with the knowledge of this baby’s existence but hadn’t allowed herself to think beyond what would happen when it was born ‒ not in the way that she had when she carried Faith and couldn’t stop imagining what it would be like to hold her child.

She hadn’t had a thought like that once yet with this baby and the guilt wormed its way in amongst the myriad of emotions she was drowning in. 

“I do love you,” she found herself whispering. “And I promise I will take care of you.” She felt a little silly, talking to the baby… but who else could she share her thoughts with? “It feels like my heart is missing, and I just need a little more time to get used to that. And we have that, don’t we? Despite what everyone wants to tell me, I understand time better than most. When you arrive, I’ll be ready for you. And I’ll love you enough for me and Jamie both.”

[dragonandtiger]

Dreaming To Reality: Oneiromancy Chapter Sixteen - 08

“Can you send me the coordinates?” Takeru asked, his expression intense. “We… need to bring Ken wedding presents. For his wedding.”

“Of course~!” Neemon agreed as he nodded his head. “Because if you gave them after the wedding, they wouldn’t be ‘wedding presents’!”

Takeru felt a wave of satisfaction when an email came in with coordinates. He forwarded it swiftly to Koshiro as he kept his attention on the smiling Neemon. “Thanks for the head’s up, Neemon! We’re on our way!”

Without waiting for a response, Takeru immediately shut Hikari’s DT2 closed.

“What the hell are you doing!?” Yamato demanded as he moved to Takeru’s side. “That little bastard-”

“…Apparently has no idea that we know who - and what - he really is,” Takeru said, cutting his brother off. “Not yet. And more importantly, told us not only where Ken currently is but that he’s in the Digital World.” He turned to give Yamato a meaningful look, his bangs casting shadows across his eyes. “Where Neemon can reach him and kill him.”

The Chosen of Friendship stopped at that as his eyes widened. “But wait… how…?”

“Doesn’t matter right now,” Takeru said with a shake of his head as he gave Hikari back her DT2, then reached for his own and began typing an email. “What matters is that we get to Ken before Neemon does.”

“But… why would he tell us where Ken is?” Sora asked as she anxiously looked at the others, as if someone else had the answer. “If he’s trying to kill him, wouldn’t he want us to stay out of it?”

“Maybe he can’t do it with the Chessmon around,” Tailmon said. “And he’s hoping we’ll either take them out or create enough of a disturbance that he’ll have a chance to attack.”

“But doesn’t that mean we shouldn’t go?” Mimi asked hesitantly before she shook her head. “But we can’t just leave Ken…!”

“We don’t even know if Ken is actually there or not,” Wallace said as he glanced at Mimi. “Neemon could be lying to lure us into a trap - which would also mean he knows that we know about his true nature.”

“Man, talk about spinning in circles,” Noir said before he began spinning his ears about, raising upwards out of Wallace’s arms like a helicopter, causing the blond to stare up after him. “Are we gonna just keep talking about it or actually do something?”

[bee-kathony]

Kneading Love | Ch. 6 “Flourish” 

a/n: thank you very much for reading! as always, thank you @julesbeauchamp for the cute moodboard xx

Chapter One |  Chapter Two | Chapter Three | Chapter Four | Chapter Five

May 1st, 1946

Today was the day. Claire’s flower shop was finally opening. After months of cultivating and pruning, everything was just as she saw it in her mind. There was a strong smell of a wild garden, and Claire kept the front door open, hoping the smell would lure people in.

Other than it being the first day of her shop opening, it was also Jamie’s birthday. Granted, she only found out that information three days ago — on a night she wouldn’t soon forget.

They had spent the night in each other’s arms, whispering sweet nothings and talking about their pasts. It was a comfort to Claire to have someone she could really talk to and know that every word was heard. Jamie made her feel whole and safe.

Her stomach was in knots waiting for him to arrive. But she was distracted by customers that kept pouring in, wanting to know more information about all the flowers she grew.

Not only did she have a wide selection of flowers, from thistles to hydrangeas, she also had one corner of the shop dedicated to plants for medicinal purposes. One older woman, Moira, had asked for a salve that would help with dry itchy skin.

“Is that peppermint I smell?” Moira asked, taking a whiff of the open jar that Claire held to her nose.

“Indeed!” Claire grinned, scooping out a small bit. “This is all natural salve for even the driest hands. A bit of peppermint, chamomile, plantain, calendula and beeswax to help make it really smooth.”

Claire spread the salve over the woman’s hands and then the excess on her own. The smell was divine and Claire was quite proud of this mixture. She adored fresh scents, like eucalyptus and mint.

“My skin feels softer already, lassie,” Moira smiled. “I’ll take a jar if ye please.”

“Of course,” Claire grinned and picked up an unopened jar of the salve. “Just put this on your hands one to two times a day and you’ll see improvements within a week.”

Walking over to the counter with Moira, Claire checked the woman out, tying her package in brown paper and with red string. As soon as she was finished with one customer, another was needing her help.

Within the next hour, Claire had sold a few more balms and bouquets. Customers were also out back in her greenhouse, taking a look at the plants that were still growing. Claire was proud of her little shop, and felt that all her hard work was finally paying off.

Having her hands in the earth, and growing something was one of the best feelings. Claire had always had a green thumb and a nose for flowers. When she was younger and lived with her uncle Lamb, she could be found digging up some exotic plant or root and discovering all of its uses.

The bell above the door signaled a new customer and Claire didn’t have a chance to look up as she was wrapping a bouquet of pink roses for Mr. Jamison to take home to his wife. A deep Scottish voice filled the room and Claire instantly smiled.

“It looks incredible in here, Sassenach!” Jamie said proudly. He held out his arms and Claire jumped into them, letting him squeeze and lift her off the ground.

“Happy birthday, Jamie,” she whispered and kissed him tenderly. “I’m so glad you made it.”

“Aye, I am too,” he kissed her again and set her on her feet.

“Claire, this place is just beautiful,” Ellen said from behind Jamie and took her into her arms. “Jamie told me this place would be grand, but he didna say just how much. The smell alone is heaven!”

“Why thank you, Ellen,” Claire said, pleased. “I’ve got something to ask you after you’ve had a look around.”

“Of course, lassie,” Ellen winked and walked further into the shop. Jenny wrapped both arms around Claire, squeezing her almost as tight as Jamie had.

“I love it, Claire, tis so wonderful,” Jenny beamed. “Jamie was bein’ so impatient this morning tryin’ to get the orders done so we could close early and come here.”

“You closed early for me?” Claire gasped. “You shouldn’t have!”

“Tis also my birthday,” Jamie attempted to wink, making Claire laugh as he nudged her side. “Will ye show us around?”

Claire slid her arm through Jamie and Jenny’s and led them around the store. Pointing out the different types of flowers and herbs. Jenny had her eye on the yellow tulips, another of Claire’s favorites.

“Do you have a favorite, Jamie?” Claire asked as they stepped off to the side.

He furrowed his brow, placing his hand under his chin. “Hmm, well I dinna ken much about flowers. Only what ye’ve told me. And I think I’m quite patriotic so I’d say anything scottish.”

“A good choice,” Claire nodded. “You’ve got the Scottish thistle, and of course the heather.”

“I also like those wee ones, they blue forget-me-nots were they called?”

When they had gone on their picnic shortly after meeting, they had sat down in a meadow full of forget-me-nots. Of course Jamie would remember that small fact.

“I love those too,” Claire smiled and took his hand, leading him outside where a patch of forget me nots was growing amongst other wild flowers. She knelt down and picked a few, presenting them to Jamie. “For you.”

He smelled them before taking them. “Bonny, just as the woman who grew them.”

As much as Claire was enjoying her shop being open and helping customers, she was also ready for them all to leave so she could spend the evening with Jamie alone. Even now, his hand resting lightly on her arm was sending chills down her spine. His eyes bore into hers, keeping her captive, unable to move.

“I haven’t stopped thinking about the other night,” Claire said softly, sliding one hand around his waist. Out of the corner of her eye, she could see that someone was approaching the counter, ready to purchase their goods, but she just needed another moment. “It was lovely, Jamie.”

“Aye,” Jamie pressed his forehead against hers. “I’ve thought of little else since I last held ye in my arms. I burned a batch of sourdough yesterday actually because I was thinkin’ about yer —“

“Excuse me, miss!”

“Jesus H. Christ,” Claire muttered under her breath and Jamie reluctantly released her as she attended to the waiting customer.

For the next twenty minutes, Claire was tied to the counter, helping customer after customer. It was opening day, so it likely wouldn’t be this busy all the time, and for that Claire was thankful. There was only so much she could do on her own.

Remembering what she needed to ask Ellen about, she asked Jenny to mind the register and found Ellen admiring the rose bush outside.

“I knew you’d love those,” Claire said.

“Aye, I love roses,” Ellen wrapped her arms around herself. “They were Brian’s favorite too.”

“Ellen,” Claire said. “I’ve been wondering if you would like to help me out in the shop? As you can see, I could use all the help I can get! And Jamie’s told me so much about your love for gardening, it only made sense to ask.”

Ellen’s face was unreadable, just like her son’s. But then a single tear fell down her cheek, and Claire reached out her hand to comfort her.

“Oh, maybe I shouldn’t have asked,” Claire shook her head. “I’m so sorry.”

“No, lass,” Ellen gripped her hand and wiped at her tears. “Ye did fine. I would love to help ye! Workin’ here would give me such great pleasure, dear.”

The two women embraced, and Claire knew she had made the right decision. Ellen had welcomed her into their family as one of their own, so it was the least Claire could do to offer her a small job. And besides, Claire would enjoy her company.

“Usually on my Jamie’s birthday, we celebrate as a family over dinner,” Ellen said as she and Claire walked back inside the shop. “But, I ken Jamie is lookin’ forward to spendin’ this one wi’ ye.”

“Oh, I wouldn’t want to take him away from a tradition!”

“It’s no worries, dear,” Ellen grinned. “I’ve had him for twenty-four birthdays. Tis yer turn now.”

The birthday boy was leaning against the counter as the two women approached. He smiled wide as his mother embraced him, and the sight nearly melted Claire’s heart.

“I think Jenny and I will head on home,” Ellen said. “Happy birthday, my lad,” she kissed Jamie on the cheek.

“Thanks mam,” Jamie’s cheeks turned pink.

“We’ll see ye again soon, Claire?” Jenny asked.

“Yes,” Claire nodded, looking over at Jamie quickly who was holding back a smile. “I think I’ll find myself over for dinner one of these nights.”

Jamie’s mother and sister left while he stayed behind, making himself busy straightening up behind the counter.

“You know, you really don’t have to stay until I close,” Claire said to Jamie after she helped another customer. “It’ll be at least another hour.”

“I dinna mind, Sassenach,” Jamie cupped her cheek. “I like to watch ye work, see ye in yer element.”

Hooking one arm loosely around his waist, she pulled him close. “I should warn you about tonight. I’m afraid I’m not very good at planning birthdays, so it looks like it’ll just be dinner and then um… something else.”

His brow twitched at that. There was no need to explain just exactly what that something else was that Claire had in mind. It was written all over Jamie’s face that that’s what he had in mind as well.

“That sounds perfect, a nighean,” he kissed her nose. “I’ll go and make myself busy in the back while ye attend to yer customers.”

The next hour passed as slow as molasses. Each time Claire looked up at the clock, it had barely moved an inch. Maybe she should have chosen to open up the store the next day so that she could’ve spent the whole day with Jamie. If things worked out like she thought they would, Jamie and Claire would be spending every birthday from here on out with each other. So, what was another hour watching him piddle around in the back?

++++++

“I hope you don’t mind fish, it’s one of the few things I can actually cook,” Claire speared a bite on her fork. “Living near the front taught me quite a few things, but cooking wasn’t one of them.”

“Oh, I love fish!” Jamie said enthusiastically, taking a large bite. “Honestly, I’ll eat anythin’, I’m no’ verra picky.”

“Good,” Claire laughed.

“How long were ye in the war? Was it the whole time?” Jamie asked between bites.

Claire didn’t talk about the war often, and that was mainly because she never had anyone interested enough to ask. She had spent four years in the war, and had never known which day might be her last. Learning to appreciate the small moments was something she would come to learn.

“It was tough work,” Claire took a sip of wine. “Most of the time I had my hands covered in blood and didn’t know day from night. But now, if you ever needed stitches, I’m your girl.”

Jamie chuckled, “I may take ye up on that offer, Sassenach. I’ve been known to slice my hand open a time or two with a freshly sharpened knife.”

“Says the baker,” Claire winked. “Do you ever wish you could have fought in the war?” She asked seriously.

The scot thought for a moment before answering. “Sometimes I do. Only because I dinna understand what the men who came back went through — what they saw out there. But, sometimes I hear things — horrible, terrible things, and I dinna wish to have fought anymore than I wish to have my hand chopped off.”

“I often wonder if I would have volunteered had I known just exactly what I was getting myself into,” Claire mused.

“And would ye? Volunteer again?”

“Yes,” Claire said right away. “I could do without the occasional nightmare, but knowing that I had a small part in saving someone’s life…”

“Aye, perhaps when ye put it that way — I think I’d like to have fought for my country, battles scars and all.” He reached across the table, and squeezed her hand firmly. “Who knows, maybe I woulda been hurt and fallen into yer care.”

“You would’ve been a very stubborn patient, I reckon,” Claire chuckled and took another bite of the fish.

Jamie snorted. “My mam always did say I was a stubborn wee lad. And my Da would say the same thing. When I got into trouble, he used to take a belt to my backside — which was more often than I’d like to admit. But, I never made a sound through the hits,” Jamie smirked. “Didna want to give him the satisfaction.”

“Stubborn indeed,” Claire grinned.

“I’ve been meaning to ask,” Jamie said. “When’s yer birthday, Sassenach?”

“October 20th, 1918,” Claire replied, taking another sip of wine and watching Jamie’s reaction.

“Ahh,” he grinned mischievously. “So yer an older woman. Wiser, of course, and ye dinna look a day over twenty.”

“I was wondering when I should tell you,” Claire laughed and crossed her arms over her chest, still holding the glass. “It’s only a measly two years and a few months.”

“Just means yer more experienced,” Jamie said. “And I appreciate ye for no’ lookin’ down on me for my young nature.”

“Your very mature for your age,” Claire smiled. “I find most men in their twenties are these days… must be the effects of the war, it can really age a person. And as far as experience goes…” Claire clicked her tongue before standing up to take both of their empty plates to the kitchen.

“Are ye sayin’ I was yer first?” Jamie cocked a quizzical brow. “Cause I dinna believe that for a second, Sassenach.”

“So, you think I’m a floozy?” Claire turned her head to look back at him, and then laughed. “No, you weren’t my first, but you were — my second.”

“Christ,” Jamie stood up and crossed the room in three steps. “But yer —“

“Twenty-seven?” Claire sighed. “I know. I lost my virginity during the war, and all the other nurses around me were going at it like bunnies, but I couldn’t do that. I didn’t want to do that — well,” Claire smirked, “I wanted to. But, I was preoccupied with everything going on around me, I suppose I simply forgot about that side of myself.”

Jamie grabbed both of her hands, bringing them up to his mouth to kiss gently. “For yer second time, ye did verra well, Sassenach. Verra… verra well. And I’m no’ one to be judgin’, ye see I’ve lain wi’ only two lasses.”

“Only two?” Claire looked him up and down. He was certainly handsome, and well built. She was surprised that he hadn’t slept with the whole town, but she also knew that wasn’t who he was.

“Aye,” he laughed. “And ye ken somethin’, a nighean?”

“Hmmm?”

“D'ye ken that the only time I am without pain is in your bed, Sassenach? When I take ye, when I lie in your arms-my wounds are healed, then, my scars forgotten,” he said softly.

“I do now,” Claire brought her arms up to his face and kissed him. “When you held me that night, I didn’t have a nightmare. I didn’t remember the loss or pain. It was only you… only you, Jamie.”

“Oh, Claire,” Jamie pressed their lips together again, this time sliding his hands down her body to lift her legs around his waist. He carried her over to the bed, wasting no time in laying her down and reaching for the hem of her dress.

They stripped each other of their clothes, hands reaching and bodies molding together. Claire hooked one leg around his hips, bringing him closer. She felt wild, staring into his ocean blue eyes. It was as if he had always contained a piece of her heart, and he was giving it back to her, completing the whole in her chest she had lived with for so many years.

“Sassenach?” Jamie nearly growled next to her ear as her hands slid over his back. “Can ye bear it if I’m rough wi’ ye?”

“God, yes!” Claire moaned, and arched her back off of the bed, in turn pressing her breasts against him. Jamie’s mouth was at her neck, his tongue sliding along her jaw. She felt his hand between her legs, grazing her wetness, making her squirm. Then, without warning, he took his cock in hand and pushed forward.

“Jesus,” she mumbled, shutting her eyes.

Jamie held still, his breathing rapid. As he leaned up, he simply stared down at Claire, knowing that if he were to die now, it would have been a wonderful and complete life.

“Please, please Jamie!” Claire begged him.

He reared back, placing both his arms on either side of her body and began a steady thrust. Each time he pushed forward, he hit something deep within her, making Claire cry out. It wasn’t pain, it was pure ecstasy.

Claire hooked one arm around his neck and brought him down to her, kissing him quickly and parting his lips with her tongue. She may have had little experience, but she was also a fast learner. Jamie’s thrusts were becoming more and more erratic, and she knew he was close, as was she.

“Faster, Jamie,” she mumbled against his lips. Her hands drifted down over his back, settling on his arse, squeezing it firmly. His body rolled on top of hers, pushing her into the bed with the force of his movements.

A moment later, he cried out, spilling inside of her, and seeing how Jamie fell apart, made Claire’s stomach tighten and she came hard and fast. Like a corpse, Jamie lay on top of her, his full weight nearly crushing her.

“Jamie!” Claire managed to squeak.

Rolling onto his side, he stayed rooted inside of her, cradling her in his arms. “Ye ken, I dinna think I’ve ever had such a good birthday present.”

“I sure hope not,” Claire snorted, burying her head against his chest. Her fingers moved along his chest, feeling the light sheen of sweat. “That would be a little odd if everyone gave you what I did.”

“Aye,” he laughed with her.

Claire wondered if she would ever tire of feeling this way — of loving the sensation of being held in Jamie’s arms. She placed a kiss to the underside of his jaw. “Thank you for coming to the shop today. It meant a lot that you were there.”

“I’ll always support ye, Sassenach,” he looked down at her, pressing one large hand to the back of her head. “That reminds me… what was it ye decided to name yer wee shop?”

“It’s rather cheesy I suppose,” Claire said, looking at him. “But I’ve decided to call it ‘Flourish’.”

“Flourish,” Jamie whispered. “Flourish,” he said it again and placed a kiss to her lips. “Tis perfect, mo chridhe. Just perfect.”

[salenakingston]

Decided to forgo the prompt thing this time around and write a little something that came to my head on my way home from work. Been writing a lot more backstory related stuff to the main trio, and I don’t intend to stop. It’s so fun to play around with.

Prompt: None

Warnings: Medical Procedures (minor), Blood

Timeline of Events: Whitegale Estate (Backstory)

Total Word Count: 3,117 words

The halls of this estate seemed to just go on and on. Guess that was to be expected when being invited to a place like this. The Whitegale name was one that stretched far beyond the reaches of Sweden, for a number of reasons. Alexander’s wealth and power was nothing to scoff at, but more than that, it was what he had chosen to do with it. He could very well be running his own country with the number of contacts he had, and the people that flocked to him on the promise of a good paycheck. The Whitegales never seemed to be short of work.

And that’s why he was here.

News articles continued to pile up on top of one another, the gap between his own kills becoming shorter and shorter. It seemed that since discovering his project had been a failure, he was not allowed much room to breathe. The demon had put up with him before then, no doubt already knowing the outcome before even his host had learned the price of dealing with those that were already dead.

Magic was real, but even in this new world, there were laws that had to be obeyed. No one could come back from the dead without being broken. Pleas and cries haunted the mind, be it in the waking world or when asleep.

He couldn’t stay at his office anymore, not without risking getting caught. His brain argued with him that he deserved to be taken in. He had lost count of how many lives he had stolen away, be it from those that deserved death or not. He did not care so long as he could get a laugh out of it. He would take.. And take.. And take until there was nothing left of who he once was. Life was slipping away from his fingers.

Sometimes he even wondered what the point of fighting was anymore.

Malceum had found himself on the steps of the estate, mostly by chance. Forced to flee his home country. It was quite the jump to make, Germany to Sweden. Anywhere else might have been a better idea, a place where he might be able to isolate himself so that he couldn’t thrive off the thrill of others… but there was one thing that drew him in to the promise the Whitegales proposed.

Stability.

A roof over his head.

A job.

He could be left wandering country to country without the promise of being able to see anyone. No one owed him anything, and he couldn’t very well work and move at the same time. He needed a new place to call his own. While the estate itself didn’t belong to him, since Alexander had taken him in, he was granted his own space along with the other medical personnel in the building. He had work, or at the very least, something to keep him occupied. On the plus side, with so many people around, he couldn’t just do as he pleased. Someone would notice if one of the staff went missing, or if he had slipped out of the building.

It was a bit of a win win actually.

Unfortunately, it didn’t keep the hollow’s witty commentary silenced.

Alexander had called upon him specifically for a task. Guess the man himself had been impressed by the surgeon’s work. At least that’s what he assumed before stepping inside the office. It was for a stranger reason that he had been chosen. Alexander’s wife had seen him in a vision. Said woman was quite the enigma. Seeing her was rare outside of briefings and events. He had gazed into her unseeing eyes, and could swear that she was somehow still staring back at him. It was enough to unsettle anyone.

He didn’t believe her vision, at least when it seemed like it was something so minor. It was just another surgical job. What did it matter if he was the one who did it, or someone else. Alexander had explained that he never questioned anything his wife had seen, nor was surprised at Malceum’s skeptic tone.

Well… whatever. He had a job to do.

Returning him back to his path through the halls. He had finally managed to figure out where he was going, though it probably helped that he dropped the files he had been flipping through from his eyesight. Anything already on a person’s medical record could help him to understand his patient’s body. Their strengths and weaknesses, at least on a physical level, and what kind of treatments one had already undergone. Which worked, and which ones did not.

But this file just left him dumbfounded.

It was for someone by the name ‘Salena Kingston.’ The first thing that struck him as odd was the inclusion of a ‘species’ tag on her records. Species? It labeled her a wolf, but this had to be some kind of mistake. True, magic was a possibility, but this just seemed too much of a stretch as to what could be considered real now. Humans seeing the future? Believable at the very least. Humans channeling enough energy to bring the souls of others back from the dead? He had seen it first hand. Humanized animals? Unheard of.

Brushing past this mistake, he got into the meat of her records. It baffled him that the list of problems with her physical attributes grew longer and longer with each person that had seen her, yet they had all cleared her to return to duty. Were all of them so negligent with their jobs, doing this on purpose so they could make another sum of money from their wealthy employer? Or was this Alexander’s own doing? It was clear he had contact with everyone on his medical team. Surely he wouldn’t be worse than the doctors.

Well, he wasn’t going to be like them.

Malceum stopped as he came to the medical wing. He knew the path here, but not to this specific room. It seemed strange to be directed to one room, as many others he had taken care of were spread through to whichever space was available. This was ‘her room.’ Just how often was this person here to have a room all of her own?

The surgeon steeled himself, and then opened the door. Strange that this door requires a pin number to open, sliding rather than opening like any normal door.

A pair of blue eyes peered over at him.

The door shut behind him, effectively locking him in the room with a literal beast. So that species part of her documents hadn’t been a typo after all. There, sitting in the bed, was a wolf with a humanized figure. He couldn’t find one thing to focus on, his eyes moving all around her. Her red face markings, visible scars across the top of her muzzle and neck, the curved notches in her ears, the traces of bags under her eyes, but mostly that piercing gaze that fell on him.

A gaze that seemed to be narrowing the longer he stood still. He even found his hands shaking slightly. No, it wasn’t fear that was causing this. He seemed delighted by this turn of events.

“Hey.”

What? Oh that was her voice.

“Are you going to stand there gawking at me, or are you actually going to do your job?”

Malceum was taken aback. Never in all his career could he recall a patient speaking to him in such a way. Annoyance replaced his surprised expression. Oh, he could tell he wasn’t going to enjoy taking care of this one. He set her file down on the small table next to her bed. As he drew closer, he noticed the tubes sticking out of her nose, a tank on the opposite side from where he was standing. Oxygen? Was she having trouble breathing? There were so many problems on the list, it was likely his brain skipped over it, much like the fact of her ‘species.’

“Hey.”

“Y-Yes, st-top.”

His hands were shaking again. She’ll be fun to play with.

Y-You ca-an’t-t.

Oh I’ll find a way.

He gave an audible sigh, an eyebrow raised on the woman? Wolf? In bed. Right, he must look like a crazy person. She was glaring at him at this point, so he might as well match her attitude, “W-well M-Ms. Kin-ngs-ston, I can h-hones-stly s-say in all m-my l-lif-fe I’ve n-nev-ver se-e-een s-som-meo-one as b-brok-ken as y-you are a-and-d s-stil-ll w-wil-llin-ng to m-mout-th off t-the p-per-rson w-who’s-s b-been a-assig-gned to h-help you.”

“Sorry to burst your bubble Sorrowgrave. You’re hardly the first person to be assigned to me as you put it.”

She knew who he was? He hadn’t even been here that long, and he’d never seen her before. Did Alexander tell her about him before summoning him? He mentally shook off that train of thought, scoffing at her, “S-So I’ve s-see-en, a-and it s-seem-ms n-non-ne of t-them-m h-have b-bee-en t-treat-tin-ng you p-pr-rop-perly.”

“And you think you can do better?”

“I k-know-w I c-can.”

“Doubtful.”

Now he was getting more than just annoyed. Were it not for the mask covering his mouth, he was sure his sharpened teeth would be flashing to accompany his growl, “Y-You d-doub-bt my s-sk-kills-s?”

Her tone didn’t change. From the moment she first started talking to him, it seemed she was intent on holding onto her level of sass, but content. Was it acceptance? It was too soon to tell. She didn’t shut up, “Oh no, I’m sure you’re great at what you do. I’m just saying I doubt there’s anything you can do that the other doctors haven’t already tried, or improve upon. My body’s fucked.”

Und-der-rst-tatem-ment-t.

“T-Then-n c-care to ex-xp-plain to m-me w-why y-you’v-ve b-bee-en cl-lear-red e-ev-ver-ry s-sin-ngle t-tim-me y-you’ve b-bee-en h-her-re wh-hen ev-ven you are a-awa-are th-hat s-somet-th-hing is w-wron-ng w-with you?”

“Have you been paying attention? I told you there’s nothing that you can do to improve my condition. You’ll either clear me like the rest of them or I spend the rest of my life sitting in bed. Sounds far too dull.”

“Wh-hy are y-you h-her-re t-then?”

The bitch seemed to roll her eyes at that question, “Did Alexander not even bother to tell his new surgeon why he was being sent here? Just send him off with a file and expect him to wing it?”

Obviously she wasn’t pleased, but was that directed at him, or at her employer? She had to be working for the man if she was in her own private room, but also referred to the Whitegale man by his first name. How was it that she seemed more annoyed than he was having to put up with this? He glared over at the file, as if it had committed a crime by simply being in the room, “H-he s-said his w-wif-fe s-saw me h-her-re in a v-vis-sion.”

That was the thing that seemed to shut her up. Her attitude melted away, head moving up slightly from its slouched over position, “Cassandra saw you? I see.”

So she knew something about the man’s wife too. Just what was so special about this woman and what she could see? Why was it a driving force for so many decisions made around here? It was largely irrelevant for the present moment. He still had a job to do. He found his face easing slightly, “N-Now t-th-hen. W-What-t are y-you in f-for t-tod-day?”

“I need stitches. The staff have been able to do what they could for the wounds, but they won’t heal properly without that work, and Alexander won’t let me do the ones I can reach myself. I’ve been instructed not to move as much until someone got here to take care of the problem.”

She’s capable of doing her own stitch work? Perhaps their employer didn’t want her to do it, feeling more confident with a professional surgeon on staff. Guess his reputation from his home country had something to do with that.

There was a spot for Malceum to prepare for this small task, doing his best to get his hands to stop shaking before he got to work. When he turned back around, he noticed that she had placed her wrists above leather straps on each side of her bed. Restraints, yet she was so casual about their use. She was looking so expectantly at him, “I d-don’t-t s-see a n-nee-ed to hav-ve to u-use t-thos-se.”

“Look Sorrowgrave, I know you’re new here, but trust me on this one. Unless you want to risk my claws finding your skin or impaled on accident, you will strap me down.”

“Y-You c-can’t-t do wor-rse t-than-n wh-hat has al-lre-eady b-bee-en d-done to me.”

“What?”

What?

She didn’t seem to buy that, trying again, “Trust me on this one Sorrowgrave. You’re going to want me restrained. I wouldn’t ask you otherwise if I didn’t think there was any danger to this.” It baffled him in a way that she was willing to be tied down, for his own sake. She was aware of her own power, able to assume she had some from the way she phrased her words, and took her own measures to ensure the staff’s safety. Seeing no need to fight her further, he stepped over to her bed, tightening the straps as tight as he could around each wrist. Her eyes turned forward, waiting now.

He only stepped away to gather his materials before coming to her side, “I’ll n-nee-ed to re-em-move y-your g-gow-wn.”

“Go ahead.”

He had done this so many times before, so there was no need to be so hesitant. The gown was laid across the railing closest to him, his eyes focusing to the new bundle of white and red along her shoulder. So one wound there. He could see the same along her upper chest, another spot along her side, and one last one near her thigh. Whatever mission she must have been on didn’t include an instruction on being careful.

His hands moved around the bandages, removing them. Sure enough, the cuts were deep, jagged in some places. He couldn’t help but notice the ones along her upper chest were different. They were straighter, each one with more than one line next to them. They looked very similar to scars that already littered her upper body. Eyes narrowed, staring on them, and she must have caught onto him again, “As much as I would love for you to keep gawking over my body, do you mind getting on with it? I hate sitting still.”

A low growl passed through his lips, sitting back up so he was at a better angle to do his job. No point in entertaining her rebuke. The sooner he could get these stitches done, the sooner he could leave. A syringe moved towards her wrist, sticking her in a safe place. It shouldn’t take too long for her body to grow numb. While he waited, his eyes moved over the wounds. Whichever medical personnel came to see her before him did a good job cleaning them out. All of them were clear of any signs of infection. Good. He would have hated to do more work than necessary.

He was always careful with his work, testing to make sure the anesthesia was in effect before the needle even touched her skin. Salena barely moved during the entire procedure, making this far easier. Guess he was right that she actually didn’t need to worry about the restraints. He couldn’t help but manage a smug look behind his mask. Good thing she couldn’t see that.

Clean bandages were wrapped back where the dirty ones used to be, leaving the surgeon with nothing else to do aside from clean up. He took care of himself before returning to his patient’s side, freeing her wrists and offering the discarded gown back to her. She snatched it from him, draping it back over her form. Guess his work here was done, so he could leave.

Before he could input the pin to the door panel, he heard her voice again, “Wait.”

Wait? Why? He thought she would be thrilled to have him leave her space. She was rubbing one of her wrists when he turned his eyes back onto her. Her gaze moved to the side, “Thanks. Let me compensate you for your work. I know something you may appreciate more than whatever Alexander will pay you.”

Weird. What could she possibly offer someone like him. Eyes widened when a pocket of magic She stuck her arm inside of it, pulling out a vial. What had he just witnessed? Truthfully, he wasn’t sure, but it fascinated him. Just what was this woman capable of?

Eyes trailed down to the vial, the magic having disappeared, and this what was offered out to him. He took it in his hands, fingers rolling it back and forth as it rested along his palm. The vial contained some kind of green liquid. He was about to question her when she noticed his confusion, “It’s a dreamless sleep potion. I can see the dark bags under your eyes. If they’re anything like mine, I can guess partly why you’re not getting sleep at night. Figured it might help.”

“I-It’s a w-what-t?”

It’s a what?!

One was thrilled, and the other panicking. He couldn’t lose the only outlet he still had for the time being to break down his host. Malceum’s hand began to tremble, grip moving around the vial. Audible cracks from the glass rang in the small room. He tried to save this small act of mercy she had offered him, but he was stronger. The vial shattered, potion spilling between his fingers. Tiny tears pricked at his eyes, red mixing with green along his hand.

He turned around, punching in the code to allow himself to leave, racing down the hall once the door opened.

She didn’t miss the orange flickering in his gaze.

He could tell she was a danger. She had something that could help him, and he made them flee. He wanted to go back to her, beg her for another one, but it was useless. He was going to make him pay for this new found hope.

Salena’s eyes didn’t leave the man, even as he sprinted past the window looking into her room. There was something very wrong with him. Cassandra saw him being sent to her. There was some reason they were meant to meet. Her gaze shifted down to the puddle on the floor, green mixing with red. He wanted that.

Something else made him break it.

And she would find out what.

[cheemerthelizard]

Crusader of Life (Kakyoin x Reader) Chapter 16

Alright, no summary this time, just something I want to say. I so desperately wanted to make this Smash Ultimate, but I couldn’t because of release dates and I’m super sad. Instead I settled for Street Fighter, a game I have played literally only once, but knew enough about it to make a short little gaming session with Terrence. Let me know if you want to see a Smash Ultimate version of this!

“It’s already time,” you muttered under your breath. “It’s time to face Dio.”

“Hey,” Polnareff squinted his eyes, “doesn’t that figure look like it’s coming closer?”

“You’re right, it does,” Joesph said. “And it kind of looks like it’s human.”

Soon, the figure, which most certainly was a human, had floated its way to your group.

“Welcome, Joestar and company,” the man bowed. “I am the butler of this mansion. My name is Terrence T. D’arby.”

“D’arby?” Jotaro asked. “Are you related to the other D’arby we’ve fought?”

“Actually, I’m his younger brother,” Terrence said. “But I don’t hold a grudge against any of you for defeating him. However, Lord Dio has told me to finish you off, so I must do that for him.”

“Wonderful,” you muttered. This guy looked pretty weak, Jotaro could take him on easily.

Speaking of which, it looked like he had the same idea as you. Walking up, Jotaro summoned Star Platinum, but then Terrence spoke again.

“Before you punch me, I predict you’ll hit me with your right fist. Am I correct?”

Without saying anything, Star Platinum used his left fist instead, but Terrence still dodged out of the way, grabbed it with his Stand, and pulled him into an opening in the floor with him.

“Jotaro!” Joseph and Kakyoin used their Stands to latch onto his feet, but were pulled in, as well. Quickly, you grabbed Kakyoin, but it proved futile as you toppled over into the opening just before it closed off.

“Ugh...” you slowly got up after falling down on your face. “I think I got a concussion.”

“Welcome to my little sanctuary,” Terrence said, gesturing to the seemingly wide open area. “I hope you enjoy it here.”

“So,” you asked, “does the soul-collecting business run in the family, or is it just your brother that’s the heartless monster?”

“I thought you’d never ask,” Terrence laughed. “Yes, I do collect souls, although my collection isn’t as big as my brother’s, as I don’t believe in cheating to win. Plus, I think you’ll find mine is a bit more... personal than his, as well.” He opened up a cabinet, and about a dozen little dolls were in there. “I make these dolls myself, you know, each one hand-crafted.”

“Wait,” Kakyoin shivered, “I thought I saw one... move.”

You all looked closely, and noticed one move, as well. “D’arby...” it spoke, “D’arby... please speak to me...”

Soon after, every doll joined in, calling out for the man who had made them this way in the first place.

“Yes, I do allow the dolls to talk, too,” Terrence answered the unasked question. “I love hearing the stories of the souls I’ve collected.”

“Jotaro,” Joseph told his grandson, “I’d get rid of this guy now, before we have to win back any souls.”

“Oh, no, no, not so fast, Mr. Joestar,” Terrence warned. “After all, I’ve already attached my Stand’s arm to his. If he kills me, then poof!” He made little jazz hand motions. “His arm is gone. It would be pretty hard to go up against Lord Dio with only one arm, wouldn’t it?”

Jotaro looked at his arm, and sighed. “Fine. I’ll gamble with you,” he said.

“Oh, but I don’t want you to gamble with me first,” Terrence replied. “Also, not gambling, playing. Anyway, I’d rather Kakyoin or (Y/N) come up and play first.”

“I’ll go!” you shouted before Kakyoin could say a word. After all, you saw that Terrence had a game console, and you couldn’t wait to show him your skill.

“(Y/N),” Kakyoin reached out his hand, “no, I can’t let you-“

“I’ll wager my soul!”

“(Y/N), no!”

“It’s too late, Kakyoin,” Terrence shrugged, “she’s already spoken. Now, which game would you like to play?”

You picked up a Street Fighter cartridge. “We’ll play this.”

“So, you’ve chosen Street Fighter?” Terrence chuckled. “I should let you know, I’m pretty good. And I’m very eager to add you to my collection.” He gestured to a doll on the table that looked like a cartoon version of you, with big, googly eyes, long eyebrows, and enhanced lips.

You gulped. “I’ve gotten really good, myself,” you replied, trying to mask your fear. “In fact, I learned my first combo the day before we left for Egypt.”

Terrence hid his mouth. Was... was that laughter? Oh, he thought you were making this all up. It was time to show him you weren’t messing around. You booted up the game, and both of you chose your characters.

“Ryu,” Terrence said.

“Ken,” you said back.

Then, the fight started. You went in for the combo starter, but Terrence blocked you, and then started a combo of his own. By the time he was done, you had almost no health left. You were a little stressed, but you trusted yourself. In fact, you were able to start your combo, as well, which didn’t do as much, but still took out more than half of Terrence’s health. Just once more, and you could win. Of course, one more from Terrence, and it’d be over for you, too. He tried hitting you. You blocked. You tried hitting him. He blocked. It went on for a while like this, you getting more tense each time.

“I’ve never met someone who’s been able to play with such a clear mind,” Terrence praised.

“Yeah, well, over a year of practice will do that to you,” you replied, humbled but not losing focus. All the while, Kakyoin was hovering over your shoulder like a fly, and Jotaro was pulling him back to give you room to breathe.

You hit.

He blocked.

He hit.

You blocked.

He hit again, and you were completely unprepared. Then, in the blink of an eye, the screen read, “Ryu wins!”

“Time to pay up,” Terrence said.

“(Y/N)!” the others shouted.

The feeling of your soul being forcefully pulled out of your body was extremely weird. You felt something... then you didn’t. Your spirited body didn’t have nerves, and, therefore, nothing to feel things with. Luckily, that made it very painless. However, your soul being compacted to fit in a little doll was much more painful. But, eventually, the compacting stopped, and you could feel yourself in a little fabric body.

Terrence picked you up and started stroking your hair. “She makes such a lovely doll,” he laughed, then made eye contact with Kakyoin, who tensed up more and more each time Terrence pet you. “Don’t you think so, too, Kakyoin?”

“Okay, I’ll play with you,” Kakyoin said without hesitation. “And I’ll wager my soul.”

“Good, good,” Terrence said, then set you down. “Then choose your game.”

You would have loved to cheer Kakyoin on, but you decided to try and escape while Terrence was occupied. Unfortunately, standing up in your little doll feet was very hard, and you had to army crawl across the table to get close enough for Joesph to notice you. Frantically, you waved at him, and he used Hermit Purple to drag you towards him.

“Please,” you begged quietly, “hide me from him. I’m scared.”

“Jotaro,” Joseph whispered. “Take (Y/N).”

“Why me?” Jotaro groaned.

“Because you’re the last person Terrence will think of when looking for his missing doll.”

“Good grief,” Jotaro muttered, then took you and put you in one of his inner pockets.

It was surprisingly super comfortable in Jotaro's pocket, even if the circumstances weren’t ideal. But you did want to see how Kakyoin was doing playing F-Mega. From what you heard, it was a pretty fun game. And it seemed like Kakyoin had a hold on things, meaning he’d played this before. Hesitantly, you peeked your head out, but Jotaro shoved you back in.

“We don’t want there to be any chance Terrence sees you, y’know,” Jotaro explained. “I’ll tell you how things go.”

Nodding your head, you stayed in his pocket.

You didn’t hear much from the conversations, but you could hear the tenseness in everyone’s tone. You picked up a few words, though, like, “You’re not making any mental mistakes,” or, “I-it’s completely dark! How do you know where to drive?” Sounded like Kakyoin had everything under control.

That is, until the two Joestars started shouting.

“Kakyoin!” Jotaro moved very quickly, making his pocket thrash around. “He... he took Kakyoin’s soul!”

“I’ll cherish this doll even more than the others,” Terrence said, “because he didn’t make any mental mistakes... where’s (Y/N)?”

“What do you mean?” Joesph asked.

“I know you have her,” Terrence accused. “Where is she?”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” Joseph snickered. Come on, Mr. Joestar. Now’s not the time to be messing around. Luckily, Terrence thought you were in Joseph’s pocket, so he patted him down first.

“I’ll ask again,” Terrence growled. “Where is (Y/N)? She was just here a moment ago, she couldn’t have gone far, which means one of you have her stored away somewhere.” You heard footsteps coming closer to Jotaro, then the summoning of a Stand.

“Oh, but you must remember,” Terrence advised, “if I so much as slip on a banana peel, your two friends are gone.”

The Stand was desummoned.

“Good, good,” Terrence chuckled. The pats from Jotaro’s clothing were getting ever closer, until Terrence stopped after his first pat where you were. He patted again. You felt a hand come and pick you up, and get you out of the pocket.

“Trying to run away, are we?” Terrence looked right into your beady little eyes with a smirk on his face, sending chills down your spine. “Not on my watch.” He put you right next to Kakyoin, then covered you with a tiny, see-through box, and added a few coins above to add some weight. “There,” he said happily. “Now you’ll stay put.” He then went to talk to Jotaro and Joesph about something. Probably saving you two.

“I’m sorry,” Kakyoin sighed. “I almost had him, too.”

“Don’t be sorry,” you reassured him. “After all, from what I heard, you did really well. And it’s not your fault that I suck at Street Fighter.”

“You don’t suck,” Kakyoin consoled. “You did amazing.”

“Yeah, well, not good enough to save myself,” you mumbled, “or anyone else.”

“Enough about what we can’t change,” Kakyoin quickly changed the subject, “let’s see how Jotaro is doing. I heard he chose a baseball game.”

The two of you crowded to the side of the box, and peered through.

“Jotaro...” Joseph stuttered, “have you ever played this game, no, ANY videogame? At ALL?”

“So, what?” Jotaro nonchalantly replied. “I’ve played real baseball before. This should be pretty much the same thing.”

“Jotaro, my soul is on the line, too, you know!” Joseph shot back.

Your heart sank, eyes widening. You turned your head to Kakyoin, who’s expression was just the same as yours.

“We’re done for,” you simultaneously spoke.

“I just want you to know,” Terrence said, “that even if you’re truly an amateur, and not just messing with me to fool me, I want lower my guard. Even if a baby has bet their soul, I will give it my all to defeat them.”

“We’re dead,” you whispered, shoving your face into the new little nubs that used to be hands. “We’re so dead.”

“That’s alright,” Jotaro shrugged. “After all, I’ve pretty much learned how to bat now.”

“Wh-what?” Terrence looked Jotaro in the eye.

“You heard me,” Jotaro answered him. Then you heard the words “Home Run!” come from the TV they were using.

“Ha! Home run!” Joseph started getting in Terrence’s face. “Home run! Jotaro got a home run!”

“We... we might not be dead just yet,” Kakyoin told you.

“What do you mean, you pretty much learned, Jotaro?” Terrence glared into his eyes, fists clenched.

“You just saw what I meant, didn’t you?” Jotaro said. You could see Terrence trying to shake it off, but he definitely couldn’t. Another throw, and another “Home Run!” from the announcer.

“He got another!” Joseph laughed. “You know, if you give us Kakyoin and (Y/N)’s souls right now, and just quit the game, then I’ll get Jotaro to spare you, and you won’t have to feel the wrath of Star Platinum.”

Terrence tensed up a little bit, but quickly relaxed again, with a little smirk.

“My brother was a wonderful gambler,” he said. “He could win any game with any type of person. But he never offered to play a game of poker with me. Do you know why that is?”

“Just what are you getting at, D’arby?” Joseph growled.

“It’s because he knew I would never lose,” Terrence finished. “He knew, due to my ability, that I wouldn’t lose a single match against anyone.”

You started to tense up. Well, you would, but fabric isn’t the best for that sort of stuff.

“For my next move, I’ll declare my pitch,” Terrence stated. “A forkball down the middle.”

“What kind of idiot tells the person what pitch they’re throwing?” you muttered.

“Well, Jotaro?” Terrence looked him in the eye. “Do you believe me?”

“There’s some sort of trick to this,” Kakyoin whispered to you.

The ball was thrown. You couldn’t see the screen, but you definitely heard the “Out!”

“He knew that I was predicting a forkball, and changed it last minute!” Jotaro exclaimed.

“Precisely,” Terrence replied. “And now we’re changing places, meaning you’ll be pitching, and I’ll be batting.”

You were biting down on your cloth nubs, heart racing.

As Jotaro was getting ready to throw the ball, Terrence bombarded him with questions, which Jotaro didn’t answer. Still, when he went for the throw, Terrence hit it straight on. “Home run!” the announcer said.

“Now I truly know something’s up,” Jotaro said. “I threw that ball purposely the wrong way, and he still hit it straight on.”

“I told you,” Terrence laughed, “my Stand’s ability is undefeatable.”

Jotaro lifted off his hat, and set it down on the TV set.

“It’s not that he’s reading your eyes, Jotaro,” Joseph told him. “I’ve been watching him. Placing your hat in front of your face won’t help.”

“That wasn’t my goal,” Jotaro replied. “I was just sweating a lot, so I took off my hat to cool off a bit. Plus, I know for sure I’m going to win. I’m going to declare my next throw.”

“Is he stupid?” you asked Kakyoin. Because of the little glass box, nobody could hear you two talk to each other.

“Wait,” Kakyoin gasped, “look at Jotaro’s controller!”

You did, and noticed some purple thorns emerging from them.

“(Y/N),” Kakyoin said, “I think we’re getting out of here alive.”

“I think you’re right,” you laughed in disbelief. “We won’t be here forever.”

“You’re cheating! You have to be cheating!” Terrence was dripping in sweat. “Did you rig the game? Rig the controller? I know! It’s your hat! You’re using your hat to cheat!”

“Let’s get back to playing, shall we?”

Terrence’s heart was thumping so hard you could feel it from here, and when you heard another “Home run!” you felt your soul being lifted from the doll and returned to your regular body.

“Kakyoin and (Y/N)’s souls have returned!” Joseph exclaimed.

“No! I-I-I-I didn’t admit defeat!” Terrence was scrambling backwards.

“(Y/N),” Jotaro was looking down at your slowly awakening body. “Remember how good it felt when you punched Alessi when you were back to your normal age?”

“Yeah,” you answered. “Why?”

“Why don’t you land the first punch on D’arby here, and I’ll take care of the rest?”

You approached Terrence, who looked at you with a smug expression. “You’re really going to try that? I can dodge your attacks with ease.”

“I’m just gonna tell you right now, I’ll punch with my left fist,” you smirked.

“Are you telling the truth?”

For some reason, you could hear your voice faintly saying “Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes!” You didn’t think too much of it. You swung your left fist, and Terrence moved his head to the right, dodging the hit. That’s where your other fist came in handy. While his head was still moved over to the right side, you landed an uppercut with your right fist.

“Ha!” You pumped your chest. “You were outplayed twice today! How does that feel?”

“That barely even hurt,” Terrence chuckled, rubbing his jaw.

“But you know what will hurt?”

Terrence’s pupils shrunk as Jotaro’s voice came up behind you.

“Have fun,” you taunted, getting out of the way and going to check on Kakyoin.

“Nice mix-up,” he laughed.

“Thanks,” you beamed.

“Alright,” Joseph helped Kakyoin up from the chair. “Let’s go find the others. They’re bound to be somewhere in this mansion, after all.”

After scavenging the mansion for a little bit, and finding the last of Dio’s minions along the way, you had finally found one of your teammates.

“Polnareff!” Joseph called out. “Are you alright?”

“I’m fine, thanks,” he answered, breathing heavily. “Just a little scratched up, but nothing too bad.”

“That’s a relief,” you said. “So long as I can get you and the others healed up easily, you should be raring to go.”

“Right, the others...” Polnareff’s voice suddenly became dark and grim. “You... you don’t need to heal them, (Y/N).”

Although you knew what the answer was going to be, you still asked, trying to hide the shakiness in your voice. “Wh-what do you mean, I don’t need to heal them?” Your lip was trembling already, and you could feel the tears wanting to escape.

“I mean...” even Polnareff had a hard time forcing the words out of his mouth. “Avdol and Iggy... they’re gone. They died.”

That was it. Your tears reached the breaking point, and you collapsed to the ground. “No!” you wailed. “No, I should’ve been there!”

“It wasn’t your fault, (Y/N),” Polnareff consoled you. His voice was wavering almost as much as yours. “Circumstances happen that nobody can predict. And even then, Avdol died instantly, there would be no way for you to save him.”

You knew what he was saying was true, but your heart wouldn’t stop calling for them to come back. Still, it was only met with sorrow and grief. Even if it wasn’t your fault your friends died, the fact was that they still did. You would never get to see them again.

“Avdol,” you sniffled, “Iggy. Please, answer me.”

But you were only met with the cries of the others.

[higuchimon]

[fanfic] Tough Lessons:  Chapter 3 [end]

 "The Kaiser is making attempts to get your attention, mistress." 

Death Rosemon lounged back into the embrace of her favored throne and considered her options.  She'd expected something like this ever since that ridiculous child had started his campaign to "take over the Digital World".  How little he knew.  How much she would enjoy teaching him.

"Has he taken any of my servants captive yet?"  She asked at last.  Enshoumon shook their head.

"So far it's been nothing but some of his slaves setting up the beginnings of those spires.  Your spies indicate he is planning on an attack on a small village tomorrow, though."

Death Rosemon's lips curved for a heartbeat. "Is that so."  It wasn't a question.  She tapped her fingers for a second before she made up her mind. "This is what I want you to do."

Daisuke tried not to think about how good the wind felt against him as they rode the AirDramon through the skies.  V-mon's evolutions didn't include flight, so he'd mostly been a ground-bound fighter.  He didn't want to think about where they were going or who he was with.  He just wanted to enjoy the flight.

Unfortunately, Kaiser wasn't going to allow that. 

"We're almost there.  Are you ready?"

Daisuke drew in a steadying breath and raised his eyes to look at his captor.  He refused to think of Kaiser as his "master", even if he had to call him that.  "I'm ready."  He wasn't.  He didn't think he'd ever be.  He knew what was coming and he wanted nothing to do with it - and if he wanted just the bare chance of spending a couple of hours with V-mon, then he would have to do it.

"I don't believe you are,"  Kaiser replied, his lips quirked faintly.  "But we shall see."

AirDramon started downward.  Below, Daisuke could see a small army of Ringed and Spiraled Digimon following along their projected path. 

It was a lot more firepower than would really be needed to take on a small establishment - he wasn't even sure if it should be called a village.  But Daisuke guessed that maybe the Kaiser expected the other Chosen to show up during this.  It wasn't impossible.  Though sometimes they didn't get there until after the Kaiser did, and they had to deal with the aftermath.

What would they think when they found out that he'd helped here?  Would they understand why?  They knew why he was with Kaiser; they'd made this unholy bargain and he couldn't argue with it.  He would have died otherwise. Death Rosemon's poison was potent and even now he could feel the faintest traces of it in his veins.  Not enough to stop him from doing anything, but sometimes when he paid attention to it, he could feel that fire along his veins.

He tried very hard not to pay attention to it.  He remembered quite vividly what it was like before the Kaiser's cure.  He hated thinking about that too but he wasn't going to forget that Kaiser had actually helped him.  That was why he was here in the first place. 

AirDramon landed, and Kaiser and Daisuke stepped off of the Digimon.  They stood in front of the wooden palisade, and Daisuke thought he could hear the whispers of the Digimon inside.  He pressed his lips together and looked at Kaiser, his stomach churning at what he knew would happen next.

"Tortomon."  Kaiser spoke the word calmly as he gestured to the palisade.  "Destroy that."

The yellow Digimon surged forward at once, knocking into the wooden structure.  A sharp crack echoed, before Tortomon backed up and did it again.  Twice more, with cracks reverberating each time, finished the job.  The Gotsumon and Elecmon huddled in the back of their enclosure, one or two making an attempt to climb the walls and get out of there.  Daisuke didn't think they were going to get very far - he knew that Kaiser had encircled the area with other Ringed Digimon.  Those who tried to flee would be captured, just as the ones here would be.

Kaiser strode forward, beckoning Daisuke along.  Reluctantly he did so, reminding himself over and over that he'd get to see V-mon for this.  Under some circumstances he might not have, even for V-mon.  But after that horrid beat-down a few days earlier, he needed to see his partner again.

Damn Kaiser.  He kept most of his attention on what was going on in front of him, though, and kept up with Kaiser as they approached the Digimon.  So many small, terrified faces staring at him, flickers of hope warring with abject terror.  Daisuke worried at his lower lip, even as Kaiser produced an Evil Ring and held it out to him.

"Pick one,"  he ordered.  "And do as you've been told."

"No..."  One of the Elecmon whispered, electricity starting to flow over it.  Daisuke steeled himself, then quickly threw the Ring out.  He would have done anything to avoid it hitting, to make sure this failed, if V-mon and V-mon's safety didn't exist in the back of his mind at all times.  But Kaiser's words echoed over and over - as long as he was interesting.  If he ever became too dull, then Kaiser would let him go.  He couldn't be too dull and not disobedient, though.  A fine line to walk and he didn't know if he ever would do it right.  He hoped this helped.

What he knew for certain that it did was clamp firmly around Elecmon's throat.  Coal-red eyes glowed brilliantly and Elecmon stepped forward, kneeling down before Kaiser.  Kaiser gestured briefly to it, before handing more Rings over to Daisuke. 

"Get to work."  It was the only order that he gave but it was all that he needed to do.  Daisuke threw more and more Rings, his stomach churning and his gorge rising.  A few of them missed, but the bulk of them landed on various Digimon and clamped hard into place. He fought back tears at the sight, not even daring to think what would happen if he let them flow.

Eventually all of the Digimon had either fled or been Ringed.  Most of them Daisuke had Ringed himself.  He shook his head and stared at Kaiser.  "How can you do this?"  He had to know.  How could anyone do this, treat living creatures as if they were nothing?

"It's not that difficult.  You're just new at this."  Kaiser patted him on the shoulder in a horrid mockery of support.  "Now, I think you did well enough to spend some time with V-mon."

Daisuke shivered.  He wasn't sure if he wanted to let V-mon know what had happened.  There wasn't much he could do other than follow Kaiser back onto the AirDramon and stare at the clouds and a few stray Digimon flying away swiftly as they recognized the Kaiser and his conveyance.  He had to keep swallowing to make sure no tears made their way down and nothing else made its way up.  By the time they got back to the fortress, he thought he was in better control of himself.  At least he didn't throw up on the Kaiser's shoes - which he thought might've made him feel a little better.  Even if that robbed him of his V-mon time.

Kaiser brought him along to a room in the fortress.  There wasn't much to it besides the usual four walls, ceilings, and a floor.  Daisuke had no idea of what it might be used for when he wasn't there.  But he waited, and before very long, V-mon limped his way into the room, supported by Wormmon.  Daisuke darted over to him at once, kneeling down to support him gently.

"I've got him,"  he murmured to Wormmon, who nodded quickly and backed away.  Daisuke paid little attention, all of his focus all on his own partner.  There were still bruises and a few healing cuts, but overall, he wasn't as bad as Daisuke had feared he might be.

Even better, he smiled up at Daisuke.  "Hey.  I heard you're feeling better?"

"A lot better,"  Daisuke agreed, settling cross-legged on the floor and pulling V-mon into his lap.  "Even more now that you're all right.  I was worried about you."

V-mon offered a bit of a snort.  "Don't worry about me!  Nothing that Kaiser can do can hurt me for long!"

Daisuke smiled.  Oh, he knew that.  Kaiser didn't care about hurting V-mon.  He wanted to hurt Daisuke, and he did that so very well.  His smile held equal parts sadness and joy.  Sadness at knowing this pain was because of him - joy for knowing that he could spend this little time with his partner.

"Are we going home?"  V-mon wanted to know.  He scrunched up his nose.  "I miss my cushion." 

"I'll see if I can get you one, but we can't go home just yet."  Daisuke sighed, running his fingers over V-mon's head ridges.  "Kaiser's not going to let me."

V-mon frowned now, wriggling so he could look better at Daisuke.  "What's that got to do with it?  Can't we just go now?"

"No."  Daisuke reluctantly shook his head.  "For one thing, he saved my life.  So I have to stay because of that.  And - he's got my D-3 and D-Terminal.  So I can't evolve you."  Oh, if he could.  He'd risk so much. 

V-mon didn't look too thrilled about that.  Neither was Daisuke.  He decided not to say anything about wanting to be boring to make Kaiser lose interest in him.  He didn't think Kaiser was watching him, but he didn't want to find out otherwise.

So for now, he just relaxed with V-mon and enjoyed himself, his eyes sliding closed.  He wasn't taking a nap but he just let his mind wander freely.  He wished that they could be anywhere else but here.  Laying out in the sun somewhere in the Digital World, or playing soccer somewhere, or sitting in Daisuke's room reading manga together.  He'd introduced V-mon to a couple of his favorites and now his partner waited as eagerly as he did for the new chapters. 

Very familiar boots clicked into hearing.  Daisuke winced; he didn't get up even though he knew that he should.  But he waited, waited until he heard that very annoyed throat being cleared, and then he looked up to see Kaiser’s sharp violet eyes glaring at him. 

"It can't be over already," he muttered.  Kaiser pressed his lips together and nodded, tapping the handle of his whip on his hip at the same time.

"Two hours.  Plus an extra ten minutes."

Wormmon wriggled up next to him, eyes shifting between Kaiser and V-mon.  If he had anything to say he didn't say it, only started over to V-mon at Kaiser's nod. 

"I'm sorry, V-mon,"  Daisuke whispered, trembling as Wormmon helped V-mon to his feet.  "He said I could only have two hours."  He'd enjoyed that brief visit so much that he'd never even thought about telling V-mon they had a time limit.  "But I'll see you again.  I promise."

Kaiser's fingers pressed into Daisuke's shoulder, not quite enough to bruise, but firmly regardless.  "You'll see him if I allow it.  If you do exactly what you're told." 

V-mon tried to shake his head, trying to move away from Wormmon, but whatever energy he'd built back up didn't stretch out that far.  Daisuke took a step forward.  "Soon,"  he promised, with all of his heart.  "Get better, V-mon, and I'll see you soon, I promise!"  He refused to let anything change his mind on that.  He would see his partner again and they would find a way to escape Kaiser once and for all.

Far too soon V-mon wasn't there anymore, taken back to wherever he stayed while recovering.  Daisuke took a deep breath, fighting back the tears that wanted to spill, and turned to face the Kaiser, who stood back now with arms crossed over his chest.

"What do I have to do to see him again?"  Daisuke had never had much shame when it came to asking for things, especially from the Kaiser.  Some things just didn't matter. 

"I'll let you know when I've decided.  But right now it's time for dinner."  Kaiser's lips curved ever so faintly.  "And for your medicine."

Daisuke winced.  Medicine.  Dinner.  Exercise.  The usual round of evening life with the Kaiser.  There would probably be lessons, too, and who knew what else Kaiser would come up with to keep him "interesting".  He'd never wanted to be boring so much in his entire life and nothing he tried seemed to work.

"Come along,"  Kaiser ordered, strolling down the hallway.  Daisuke followed along, his steps feeling heavier and more reluctant than they ever had.  Seeing V-mon both renewed his strength and sapped it at the same time.  So very glad to know V-mon was all right and getting better, and yet not being able to get both of them out of there - it just wasn't what he wanted and he saw no way to get what he wanted.

I will get us out of here.  He'd renewed that promise to V-mon and now he did it for himself.  Whatever he needed to do, he would do.  If he couldn't get Kaiser to release him, then he'd find a way to get out with V-mon without that.  It might have to wait - he hadn't forgotten that he needed that medicine.

That was it!  He practically laughed out loud as the solution occurred to him.  All he had to do was wait until he didn't need the medicine anymore.  It couldn't take that long.  Maybe a couple of days at best.  Then he'd be able to get V-mon, get his D-3 and D-Terminal, and get out of there. 

That did mean he'd have to find wherever Kaiser had hidden his D-3, D-Terminal, and V-mon before getting out of there.  He would do it. 

He settled into his place with the Kaiser, ready to eat.  Kaiser already had had the meal set out, and he carefully fed Daisuke by hand before eating his own share.  Daisuke ate quietly, trying to think of where his items might be.  The last he'd seen his D-3 the Kaiser had done something to it, vanishing it into the depths of his cloak.  When he had a moment, he gathered up his nerve and caught the Kaiser's eye.

"You have something to ask?"  Kaiser wanted to know, eyebrow quirked in that annoying fashion. 

"When can I have my D-3 and D-Terminal back?"  Daisuke asked, hoping that his question wouldn't anger Kaiser.  "What do I have to do to earn them back?"

Kaiser leaned back in his chair.  "An interesting question.  Do explain what makes you think you ever could."

The words fell on Daisuke's ears like thunder and flame wrapped around one another.  His heart skipped a handful of beat and his throat dried up.  He swallowed, made an attempt to speak and failed, shook his head to clear it, and tried again.

"Why wouldn't I?  I mean - you - you want me to help you, right?  But I can't really do that unless I've got V-mon and if he can't evolve, there's not a lot that we can do together."  Which he wasn't entirely certain that he believed, but if it got him his stuff back, then he'd lie like a cheap rug. 

Kaiser's lips thinned into something that only vaguely resembled a smile.  "I wouldn't call that entirely true.  You're very useful as an arm-rest all by yourself.  And I can assign my slaves to follow your orders - briefly. He smiled again and it chilled Daisuke to the bone.  "Within certain limits, of course."  He leaned forward to stare down into Daisuke's eyes.  "You're not useless without him.  It's far more interesting to me to keep you apart.  I'm sure you've guessed that by now." 

Somewhere in the back of his mind, where he hadn't wanted to think about it, Daisuke thought that he just might have. Kaiser would do whatever interested him and hurt someone else, especially if that someone else were his live-in torment victim.  He swallowed, trying to fight against the hard lump that lodged itself in his throat without warning, and clenched his fists together.  He managed to work out one more question, one last hope against the despair that threatened in a way it never had before.

"What about the medicine?  How long do I have to keep taking it?"  He had to know.  The way that the Kaiser's smile appeared somehow even more amused than before didn't bode well in the slightest.

"I made that remedy myself once I learned of Death Rosemon's poison.  It's very difficult to distill and I really don't think I got it entirely correct."  Kaiser mused, so very obviously playing this up.  "Obviously I managed to get the part right where you don't die but some of the ingredients are often known to have other effects - such as becoming addictive."

Daisuke started to shake his head.  That was all he thought he could do right now.  It didn't make sense. It couldn't be.  Kaiser was lying.  That was the kind of person that he was; the kind who would lie just to enjoy himself.

"Unfortunately, I don't know how many doses it would take to addict someone to the remedy or what the side effects of stopping it would be."  Kaiser shrugged casually.  "Especially since my only test subjects are Digimon.  You are a human.  Your reactions to this could be very different. You could be addicted, or get addicted, or not."  His eyes gleamed bright and cold and somehow terrifying in a way that Daisuke loathed.  "But I'm not going to stop your treatment just to test that."

"Why not?"  Daisuke demanded.  "I think that's something I would like to know!"  He refused to be addicted to something without knowing it.

But Kaiser only smiled.  "Because you're more interesting like this.  Now open up.  It's time for your medicine."

The End

Notes: I have fascinating plans for Death Rosemon and what she intends to do. Ken is not ready for this. And which side will Daisuke pick in the end? I think we all know that, don’t we?