sandalssandal

[sandalssandal]

DA2 (Fake Rival!Warden!Carver banter Act 3)

Hello! This is fake banter I came up with in my free time. Fenris’s dialogue is the only explicitly paired one, but you can read any of them assuming they’re romantic or platonic with Hawke. These also assume everyone gets along with Hawke but they’re not explicitly friendship.

I hope everyone is decently characterised, enjoy!

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Carver: You… and my [Brother/Sister] are together, correct?

Fenris: That is correct.

Carver: I don’t get, what do you see in [him/her]?

Fenris: Do you really want to know?

Carver: I want to understand.

Fenris: [He/She]…

(Green personality): Brings me peace of mind.

(Purple personality): Makes me laugh.

(Red personality): Knows how to throw [his/her] weight around.

Carver: Really, that’s what you like about [him/her]?

Fenris: I can share other aspects of why I like Hawke if you wish.

Carver: Forget it - perhaps I’ll never understand.

======

Hawke: I’m proud of you.

Carver: What?

Hawke:

(Green personality): *chuckles* I’ll say it again, if you want me to-

(Purple personality): Didn’t hear me the first time? I’ll say it a hundred times more-

(Red personality): You heard me, don’t make me repeat myself-

Carver: I get it! Stop, just stop it.

Hawke: You look upset.

Carver: I just - don’t want to hear those words from you of all people. I don’t need your approval.

Carver: Besides… you remind me too much of Mother when you say it that way.

======

Carver: I have a request to ask of you Merrill.

Merrill: A request? What kind of request?

Carver: Well… you don’t have anywheres to be… I was thinking- *ahem*, I was thinking once I leave for Vigil’s Keep …perhaps you can leave with me?

Merrill: I’m sorry Carver, I can’t do that.

Carver: May I ask why you can’t?

Merrill: Sure you can!

Carver: …

Merrill: …

Carver: …Why can’t you leave?

Merrill: Because Hawke still needs my help, now more than ever! I won’t abandon [him/her] like that.

Carver: *long sigh* Of course [he/she] does.

======

Carver: Do you regret not making me a guardsmen?

Aveline: Makers breath Carver, are you looking to open old wounds? Put it to rest.

Carver: I just want to know, because…

Aveline: Go on…

Carver: Because sometimes I wonder if it turned out differently, if I wouldn’t have gone with my [brother/sister] on that stupid expedition.

Aveline: Hm… I see.

Aveline: If you want my honest opinion? I don’t think being a guardsmen would’ve made a difference. You would’ve signed up anyways and Hawke wouldn’t have stopped you.

Carver: Do you think so?

Aveline: I know so.

======

Varric: So Junior, how’s that popularity in the Wardens coming along? Are people kissing the ground you walk on yet?

Carver: Ha-ha very funny Dwarf, you of all people should know that kind of information.

Varric: Should I? The Wardens can be very secretive y’know, even with their gossip.

Carver: Hm… yes I suppose we can be. Sometimes I forget who I’m speaking to.

Varric: Aw not going to share anymore, Junior? *tsk* I shouldn’t have said anything.

======

Carver: I knew somehow [he’d/she’d] end up in the centre of it all… it’s like [he/she] begs for trouble to find [him/her].

Anders: It can’t be helped can it? [He’s/She’s] a mage after all. Hawke’s a part of the fight regardless of [his/her] station.

Carver: Can it Magey. This is partially your doing, filling [his/her] with nonsense about “justice” and “action”.

Carver: I don’t know why I didn’t hand you to the Templars before, I should just drag you back to the order once I’m finished here.

Anders: I’d advise against doing that, Warden Carver.

Carver: Oh? And tell me why I shouldn’t.

Anders: Because Hawke would follow suit.

Carver: And become a Warden? *scoffs* Please, I wouldn’t let [him/her].

Anders: It wouldn’t be up to you, trust me.

======

Carver: You seem like a free spirit.

Isabela: Is that so?

Carver: Yes, and you have a ship.

Isabela: If you’re trying to flirt me, you could just say I have pretty eyes and huge tits.

Carver: That’s-! Not what I’m- I just don’t understand.

Carver: Why do you stay here in Kirkwall? There’s nothing here worth your time.

Isabela: Oh so you finally drop a proper line, I’m swooning in your arms already.

Carver: Isabela…

Isabela: Fine, I guess I’ll answer your question.

Isabela: I guess I stay because… I like the view.

Carver: The view? Are you referring to my [brother/sister]?

Isabela: Maybe I am - maybe I’m not, maybe I’m referring to what’s in front of me.

Carver: I… see…

Isabela: *chuckles* It’s fun to watch the view turn red.

[sandalssandal]

I always bring him along for this quest

Lost in dreams quest can be described in one phrase WHY ARE WE STILL HERE JUST TO SUFFER?

[sandalssandal]

Heavy is the crown forged by blood 🩸

Sketch:

[sandalssandal]

Let’s fucKING GOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

[sandalssandal]

I have more thoughts on this but think Hawke should’ve died at the end of DA2, specifically in the final battle against Meredith.

[sandalssandal]

Behold, Stoned Astarion:

May he bring you good wishes and good weed

[sandalssandal]

wake up babe, new reason to ditch FANDOM/Wikia just dropped

Previosuly

corporate monster infested with ads which devoured Gamepedia and other companies (feat me on their shit policies, SEO and migration process)

turning entire articles into ads if paid enough

limited functionality preventing admins to even fight vandalism

merging and removing of LGBT+ wikis (and forced domain change for educational [think serious] wikis to "fandom")

official wiki status has no meaning in controlling shit

very much censorship (same good ol' allergy to adult stuff)

gets paid by US Navy to advertise their events (one, two)

Alternative free wiki hostings (aka wiki farms)

Miraheze - started in 2015, non-commercial - no ads and runs on donations, wide array of MediaWiki features, wide array of allowed types of wikis and content, much autonomy for projects, custom domain and private wiki options

wiki.gg - started in 2022 by former Gamepedia staff, limited to video games, accent on involvement of game devs and thus hosting official wikis, has ads for anons (but only of games having wikis here)

Telepedia - started in 2022, limited to entertainment (although might allow other themes upon review), has ads for anons, replicates Miraheze structure

WikiTide - started in 2023, no ads and runs on donations (but also tied w/ premium version called WikiForge), largely replicates Miraheze but has stricter content policies, custom domain option

Other free options I'm aware of are either too limited in allowed content or are very outdated/unstable in technical department to recommend here (or in case of Neoseeker - I'm completely unfamiliar with it, and can't say anything about it), but you still can check them out, alongside paid hostings, on this MediaWiki page.

If you (or your community) are brave and dedicated enough you can go with self-hosted MediaWiki instance (aka independent hosting), like JoJo Wiki (who started on Wikia and succeed at overtaking the SEO) or NIWA wikis. This option, of course, requires funding and technical knowledge, but it's still very much possible.

How to find existing alternative/independent wikis

try to use "-fandom" filter for search query in Google, or use other search engines like Bing or DuckDuckGo

Indie Wiki Buddy browser extension - it modifies search engine results and performs redirects based on its centralized list of independent wikis; a new indie wiki has to be requested/submitted to get added [ Firefox / Chrome ]

Redirect to wiki.gg browser extension - same as IWB but for wikis moved to wiki.gg (as I understand, works automatically without dedicated listing) [ Firefox / Chrome ]

(simple) Redirector browser extension - in case the wiki is neither on IWB or wiki.gg, and it doesn't filter out search results - only performs redirect on whatever you get; a redirect has to be set manually - see this tutorial [ Firefox / Chrome ]

Fuck FANDOM, support real people, support indie wikis

[sandalssandal]

Contributing to the Asexual Alistair posts

Alt for my full hc: