#rip I wanted to include Sebastian but he only enters in Act 2 when Carver is gone by that point

[sandalssandal]

DA2 (Fake Rival!Warden!Carver banter Act 3)

Hello! This is fake banter I came up with in my free time. Fenris’s dialogue is the only explicitly paired one, but you can read any of them assuming they’re romantic or platonic with Hawke. These also assume everyone gets along with Hawke but they’re not explicitly friendship.

I hope everyone is decently characterised, enjoy!

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Carver: You… and my [Brother/Sister] are together, correct?

Fenris: That is correct.

Carver: I don’t get, what do you see in [him/her]?

Fenris: Do you really want to know?

Carver: I want to understand.

Fenris: [He/She]…

(Green personality): Brings me peace of mind.

(Purple personality): Makes me laugh.

(Red personality): Knows how to throw [his/her] weight around.

Carver: Really, that’s what you like about [him/her]?

Fenris: I can share other aspects of why I like Hawke if you wish.

Carver: Forget it - perhaps I’ll never understand.

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Hawke: I’m proud of you.

Carver: What?

Hawke:

(Green personality): *chuckles* I’ll say it again, if you want me to-

(Purple personality): Didn’t hear me the first time? I’ll say it a hundred times more-

(Red personality): You heard me, don’t make me repeat myself-

Carver: I get it! Stop, just stop it.

Hawke: You look upset.

Carver: I just - don’t want to hear those words from you of all people. I don’t need your approval.

Carver: Besides… you remind me too much of Mother when you say it that way.

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Carver: I have a request to ask of you Merrill.

Merrill: A request? What kind of request?

Carver: Well… you don’t have anywheres to be… I was thinking- *ahem*, I was thinking once I leave for Vigil’s Keep …perhaps you can leave with me?

Merrill: I’m sorry Carver, I can’t do that.

Carver: May I ask why you can’t?

Merrill: Sure you can!

Carver: …

Merrill: …

Carver: …Why can’t you leave?

Merrill: Because Hawke still needs my help, now more than ever! I won’t abandon [him/her] like that.

Carver: *long sigh* Of course [he/she] does.

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Carver: Do you regret not making me a guardsmen?

Aveline: Makers breath Carver, are you looking to open old wounds? Put it to rest.

Carver: I just want to know, because…

Aveline: Go on…

Carver: Because sometimes I wonder if it turned out differently, if I wouldn’t have gone with my [brother/sister] on that stupid expedition.

Aveline: Hm… I see.

Aveline: If you want my honest opinion? I don’t think being a guardsmen would’ve made a difference. You would’ve signed up anyways and Hawke wouldn’t have stopped you.

Carver: Do you think so?

Aveline: I know so.

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Varric: So Junior, how’s that popularity in the Wardens coming along? Are people kissing the ground you walk on yet?

Carver: Ha-ha very funny Dwarf, you of all people should know that kind of information.

Varric: Should I? The Wardens can be very secretive y’know, even with their gossip.

Carver: Hm… yes I suppose we can be. Sometimes I forget who I’m speaking to.

Varric: Aw not going to share anymore, Junior? *tsk* I shouldn’t have said anything.

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Carver: I knew somehow [he’d/she’d] end up in the centre of it all… it’s like [he/she] begs for trouble to find [him/her].

Anders: It can’t be helped can it? [He’s/She’s] a mage after all. Hawke’s a part of the fight regardless of [his/her] station.

Carver: Can it Magey. This is partially your doing, filling [his/her] with nonsense about “justice” and “action”.

Carver: I don’t know why I didn’t hand you to the Templars before, I should just drag you back to the order once I’m finished here.

Anders: I’d advise against doing that, Warden Carver.

Carver: Oh? And tell me why I shouldn’t.

Anders: Because Hawke would follow suit.

Carver: And become a Warden? *scoffs* Please, I wouldn’t let [him/her].

Anders: It wouldn’t be up to you, trust me.

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Carver: You seem like a free spirit.

Isabela: Is that so?

Carver: Yes, and you have a ship.

Isabela: If you’re trying to flirt me, you could just say I have pretty eyes and huge tits.

Carver: That’s-! Not what I’m- I just don’t understand.

Carver: Why do you stay here in Kirkwall? There’s nothing here worth your time.

Isabela: Oh so you finally drop a proper line, I’m swooning in your arms already.

Carver: Isabela…

Isabela: Fine, I guess I’ll answer your question.

Isabela: I guess I stay because… I like the view.

Carver: The view? Are you referring to my [brother/sister]?

Isabela: Maybe I am - maybe I’m not, maybe I’m referring to what’s in front of me.

Carver: I… see…

Isabela: *chuckles* It’s fun to watch the view turn red.