#if only their men werent fuckin each other

[pipcrystal]

[acroagoraphobe]

What Makes a Man a Monster

Chapter 6: The Man Who Came Up With A New Concept Of Death.

Hiii yeah just felt like writing a chapter today! (Because I just edited a fandom wiki article about me and Im in a writing mood.)

ANYWAYS.

Violence iminent, be warned.

ALSO I MIGHT NOT DO THE COLORED TEXT FOR A FEW CHAPTERS BECAUSE IT'S ANNOYING TO HAVE TO DO AND I WANNA MAKE CHAPTERS QUICKER :3 (Also ill be able to make longer chapters without them takjng so long to add colors and text effects in :)

The ominous sounds of the deser wafted into to the ears of all who could hear. Distant screams and gunshots being heard from a road far away from the town of Novac. Sixer's next destination.. Hopefully.

But now, he was too busy making those distant screams of pain. And they werent his.

He had already grabbed his arm and reatached it, It stuck back on like a magnet and became good as new. The gore of his arm being blown to bits all forgotten already.

The few remaining raiders met their demises at the bullet from a classic. A 10mm pistol covered in blood, dirt, and wasteland.

Bodies fell to the ground, pooling red liqud around them before it soon seeped into the dusty soil beneath. Sixer's Luck always had a habit of somehow going his way.. either that.. or.

He was so unfortunate that it looped back around to the luck of a rabbit's foot strapped to your belt loop.

After the raiders had all dropped, like the scavenger Sixer was... he got looting. He found a fistfil of caps and some chems. Snatching it all up along with the ammo from the dead attacker's weapons, dropping each individual bullet into a pocket in his bag, clinking together as he closed the pocket and shifted his bag.

One of the raiders also had a bottle of shitty booze. Fuckin hell it'll work I guess. Sixer took a swig, not giving a fuck about whos mouth had been on it before. I mean hell can't get worse than the Bubonic Plague, and he's had that before.

Which is a long story for another time that crosses too many history books to list it all. History books that are probably obliterated and gone by now except for in those vaults.

After he pilfered the remains, Sixed went back to his usual activities on the road, Which consisted of walking. And Walking. And looking at a cactus over there. And avoiding talking to those traiders.

Then seeing a group of NCR soldiers get attacked by a bunch of men in skirts and football gear, making them look like absolute losers. I mean what man wears a damn skirt. WEAR PANTS FOR FUCKS SAKE.

Of course not bashing on other men who wear skirts, Just legion dipshits.

Sixer just walked past, trying his best to not get involved. And he didn't, because he couldn't give two shits what the skirt boys and bear bitches were fighting over today.

Soon enough he reached the town of Novac, covered in blood and his clothes destroyed to high hell. With only drugs, 10 caps, and a bottle of alcohol to his name. Oh and this gun too I guess.

He Stumbled his way into Novac and up a set of stairs into this giant-ass dinosaur, when inside, slapping his few caps and his chems down on the counter.

[I need Shit to fix my clothes.]

"Well, I might have something lyin around.. A sewing kit and some fabric? Get all sorts of stuff in here ."

The man at the counter flinched slightly when the items were slapped onto the couner, not expected Sixer to come in so suddenly and aggresively.

[This better be good enough, Dinosaur fanboy, cause it's all I got.]

"I guess it'll have to do, ya look like yeh've been through hell n' back there-"

[Long story, Wouldn't believe me.]

"All right, let me grab some things for you."

The man who's name wasn't exactly important because lets face it, he's not plot relevant other than this, came back with a needle and thread along with scrap fabric.

Placing it down on the counter and pocketing the caps and chems that Sixer had placed on the counter.

Sixer soon stormed out and found a nice rock to sit on, taking off his shirt and stitching up the massive hole in it with the fabric that was only a slightly different color from his white Tank top.

It was more of a grey-beige fabric, and it barely hid most of the bloodstains and holes. But whatever, It worked. Stupid shitty clothes getting fucked up all the time. Fuckin covered in dirt and crap.

Sixer soon after worked to stitch his pants, an entire pant leg had been blown off and it kinda sucked having to make a whole ass new pant leg. Although Sixer definitely had the tailoring skills needed, since he's been fixing his own clothes since WAY before sewing machines were invented or even thought of.

Sixer finally finished fixing his clothes up after the whole ordeal and simply sat on that rock, thinking about what to do next.

[tezzbot]

My fav Oso-san duo is Parka! They are so cute, and their relationship is so adorable. Ichi truly considers Oso as his older brother and he finds comfort in that relationship. As for Oso, he likes Ichi a lot and treats him with a lot of affection, they have a lovely dynamic and find support in each other, and that makes them my favorite duo <3

FUCK YEEESSS PARKA THE FUCKING WORLD FOR ABSOLUTE REAL

augh theyre like. osomatsus eldest daughter syndrome comes out in full fucking BLAST when it comes to ichimatsu like holy fucking shit and its definitely because of ichimatsu's general childishness from his like. sort of? regression?? caused by his depression/burnout bc of how he was in high school (and i mean who hasnt been there Am I Right haha anywya)

like i said before osomatsu has Such a good like. subconscious/second nature understanding of his brothers that. again is incredibly obvious in how he acts with ichimatsu. like. he Notices ichimatsu was incredibly self loathing so compliments him moreso than the others in season 1. and its been pointed out but in season 2 hes Clearly so very grateful for ichimatsu being the last to leave in season 1's episode 24 and To Me season 2 parka feels very much like osomatsu being thankful but also Very apologetic to ichimatsu for being the reason for his fuckin. homelessness because ichimatsu Would Not have left home if it werent for Osomatsu's Rancid Vibes(tm) so i feel like s2 is osomatsu doing his best to make up for that?? but also ichimatsu, kinda like the rest of em, is also starting to be little more open is a little more honest and i feel like its where his childishness really starts to show and its where oso's. i dont wanna call it mother henning cus its not that its like hes. hes like heehee my Little brother my little ichimacchan smile smile smile like their love for each other is very apparent. like osomatsu is the only one of his older brothers ichimatsu refers to as nii-san hes the only one he Respects enough to give that title to like it hurts him to call karamatsu nii-san lmfao and choromatsu is just some guy that lives in his house but Osomatsu? thats His Big Brother yknow. theyre just very supportive and sweet and also vulgar gross little men they are so we are just going to sit here and vibe they slow blink at each other from across the room.

god. i just remembered the chores episode where they go to the shops together aghguygh god i will fucking cry i Will. parka the world orz (╥﹏╥)

[floralkittygambler]

Reposting for reasons

Response to Honest’s post here: Doing this to spread this awareness more as I know theres a bit of a rift in the critical community - plus I really fucking go on. Im PISSED and I do apologise however it NEEDS urgent addressing. I know people will hate me for it but Im used to hate and honestly? Hating rather than helping to solve the issue only furthers my fucking point here. So yeah this is so more people are aware (no offense to any of those involved in said rift either, but this is an important message. Thank you for understanding and if I can do anything to make all sides comfortable, then please message me and I’ll do my upmost.) “ More awareness of this is needed. Even if it’s your favourite, you can’t justify their shit but rally against another’s shit. Have people tell you you’re experiences arent real or invalid because, like Husk, people have - in real life - shipped you with someone you are far from comfortable with but you still treat them like a person. Because you have basic respect. And people force you to accept harassment, touching, stalking, advances for THEIR satisfaction. People use you for their fantasies. But you’re just a ‘tsundere’ for it. Or you have addiction issues but people think being with another addict will ‘save’ you because you’re apparently too incompetent to save yourself. Love isnt some magic fuckin cure so stop romanticising it as a fuckin saviour. It’s gross and fuckin creepy. Get stalked and have someone NEVER accept your no just because you show youre still decent enough to not treat them shitty or any different from anyone else. Try having someone way older or way younger (both in morally fucked up ways) advance on you and people encourage that. People you’re supposed to feel safe around.

People touch you when you pull away or show discomfort. Follow you home. Have pictures of you and wont accept you dont like them like that and it’s not ‘playing hard to get’ or ‘the thrill of the chase’. Fuck. OFF. In fact, Im not only disappointed in the fandom. Im disappointed in the entire team who some should know better from their OWN personal experiences - or at least the bare minimal of being a fucking adult. Im disappointed in especially females (sorry idk whether girl or woman is more appropriate here-) who statistically are more likely to have experienced something similar at some point in their lives think this is a cute gay moment. No. Angel is made out as a fucking predator - Im not saying he is, Im saying that his persistence is very fucking unwelcome like one. People like Husk dont need that fucking invasiveness. They/We need patience and someone on our level. Angel’s I know are the fuckin polar opposite - and some of them I know are very sexually harassing, including unwanted touching. It’s a shitty way to present gay people. Gays are fuckin people. Some are cunts and some arent. It’s a HUMAN thing. But considering the shit theyve been subjected to, presenting a gay as a victim only to also show them as a perpetrator is insulting! And for those Ive seen argue this about how people like AD wouldnt know how to express their love normally and whatnot? His pig. His best friend. He’s in his fucking 30s. There are literal real life criminals who get molested as kids and then go on to molest kids. Not all who grow up like that turn into nonces. Stop just fucking STOP justifying and romanticising this bullshit! I used to see the good in AD but now he makes me fucking sick. Especially with my verrrrrry fucking real traumas and connections. But fuck me, eh? Because this fictional guy matters so much more. Fuck real victims. And whilst we’re at it, fuck AD too when it suits your fetishes! Sarcasm aside, the fans and the team need to straighten up their abhorrent behaviour. Stolas. Fucking clearly having an affair, knowingly fucking up his daughter’s mental health and bribing a guy into sex who only wants the book and nothing more. He even has a fucking warning button over Stolas- Guys, how do you think any of this is cute? Even the team gross me out- I genuinely see potential and talent and it’s all gone to shit to satisfy horny teens, horny adults, and literally everyone who doesnt for the life of them understand being an adult is more than sex, drugs, violence and swears! I REALLY want to keep enjoying HB/HH but it’s getting harder and harder with such ignorant and bordering lazy creators (note: lazy as in wont do the fucking research or actually listen to real criticism and victims), such despicable fans (yeah, some HDers fuckin mocked that they triggered my ED, yet they had the fucking NERVE to support Angel’s potential ED AND laugh and blame me for me getting treated so badly for actually having the balls to call Angel and the teams hypocrisy. I got told to kill myself, that my problems arent real - oh but Angels apparently is! Which... They *are* but AD isnt real so technically only onlookers will suffer and not a drawing  - and they just excused their toxic behaviours. These people are like “aww poor angie babey!” yet fuckin INSULT sex workers. All this red in Hazbin yet it feels everyone and they mama colour blind. The issues are getting worse and fans are outright becoming EVIL, VILE, Vindictive little bullies - from kids to adults. You SHOULD be ashamed of yourself if you conduct yourself in such a manner. And you need to readjust your attitudes and behaviours because the only fuckers getting hurt are actual fucking victims. Ever been violated and been gaslit so much you STILL fucking question it’s reality? So you drown that shit out yet somehow it’s effects still hit you? Fetishise it. Make it your uwu gae couple goals, you’re no better than people believing Harley and the Joker werent toxic af. If this shit happened to you, most of you would actually SEE where we’re all coming from. Also, stop making gay a fetish - you’re like those creepy old men in the alley heckling lesbians to make out so they can wank off. Gays, no ALL the LGBT+ are fucking people too. So dont give me that bullshit then start turning everything just gay or just straight to mentally wank off to. It’s degrading and dehumanising. And yes, fiction does effect reality. You crush on a fictional character? Mourn one? Support one? Hell, fuckin jerk off to one - that’s affecting reality. Remember how in fiction all blacks were treated as villians? Look how theyre treated IRL. JAWS, great classic unfortunately their was a spike in shark killings over a fucking movie - the shark in the movie wasnt even real for the most part because they dont behave like that! (Also the animatronic was so shit they genuinely had so many issues - I think they even took to naming each one! Some fun trivia there!). Tiger sharks are more nasty than great whites as tiger sharks will hunt and eat a human. Great whites prefer seals and dislike human flesh, they just mistake us for seals. Hell, theres the toothless basking shark - theyre often SWAM WITH by divers for being so friendly. Yet Jaws made people think all sharks are bloodlusting over humans. Slenderman was created for a fucking contest and that influenced a stabbing (NOT Victor’s fault). Watch a horror movie that isnt based on a real life event and tell me that at least ONE has left you peaking over your shoulder. Stella may be a bitch - we dont know for certain - but try getting cheated on. Y’know what? Try growing up in such a broken home like Octavia. Yeah reaaaaaal fucking cute now, huh? Funny how as well y’all petition for male victims to be taken seriously then laugh when fictional males experience this abuse, further adding to stigma. You can be hit on by the hottest mf on the planet but if you arent interested, that should be respected! Also we’ve all been inspired by at least one fictional character so yeah. Yknow, since I was little Ive been fighting for sex worker and homeless rights. But HH/HB treatment of both leave a bitter taste in my mouth. I’ll still fully support sex workers and the homeless, but that’s the fucking effect this show is having. Bearing in mind I wont ever share everything Ive been through - and I shouldnt fucking have to in order to be believed and validated (obvs proof is required in a legal case but that’s a whole other topic). Why should I share MY fucking pain especially when you fuckers have belittled and triggered it more so? We have our rights to our secrets but fuck ME you lot NEED to start acting appropriately and like decent fucking humans. ‘iTs HeLl’ yeah and welcome to Earth- the team and yourselves live HERE. You obide by THESE rules. And as someone with beliefs (and a LOT of ancient fucking texts and studies on this shit) their Hell isnt even a proper Hell! It’s closer to purgatory and even then it’s not. Regardless, it’s a poorly built world with the lore consistently changing per episode and tweet, with many plot holes, and is apparently easy to get into - even via accidentally watching porn according to a stream. If youre gonna parade youre a fucking expert and research into demonology and use real believed figures, at least get THAT right. In fact, Lucifer and Lilith (and Stolas tbf) are ESPECIALLY risky as theyre a lot more complex than most easy access texts will tell you. Likewise, Stolas’s first introduction and main focus is sex. He’s one of the FEW Goetia demons that dont have some involvement in relationship issues at ALL. He’s known for astrology, crystals and herbs but hes also known to aid MONEY troubles (it’s lesser known but it’s true! HB Stolas is an insult to the Prince). Turning Vodou into something evil is vile considering it’s powerful and liberated slaves. Pentagrams are nothing to do with Satan, they’re magic based sigils. Upside down cross is the symbol of a SAINT. It’s just some edgy attempt to trick people into believing they know more than they do. Also you should NEVER dabble and doodle sigils without knowing the meanings or respecting what they behold. Vox and Val, real fuckin cute way to make them look like a stupid fucking highschool drama instead of a fucking SEX TRAFFICKER (note: real pimps often target YOUNG folks too - aka minors - and groom them into sex work. Theres different types of pimp. Viv has shown barely any understanding of ‘the game’ and its a fucking insult to injury. Yes we KNOW what a fucking pimp and prozzie are! We dont need to see it. We need REAL AWARENESS.) and a fucking scheming bastard of a CEO salesman botman. And yet even THEN lets go a step further and make some yandere wuv on boyfweind aboose! Fuck off- Now I love a good anime but these tropes are getting fucking dangerous now. And unrealistic to real love and relationships. Kids nowadays know fuck all on a healthy relationship (neither did the fuckin 50s tbf) and Im seeing more romaticism and glorifying abusive situations. Like the show ‘You’. Ok, there’s a fuckin bloke online who slaughtered innocents and kidnapped yet people commented how cute he is on his IG and that they want to be kidnapped or killed by him next. Dont believe me? Look up Peter Manfredonia Connecticut and the comments people left him and then tell me why shit like whats being presented in HH/HB ISNT fucking concerning - because it is. For a series about redemption, it’s brilliant at the opposite (Quote from the creator herself, Viv has posted that it’s influencing her bad choices. Even as a joke, proof’s in the pudding). And the overall focus on sex in the way Viv does is so immature and really creepy, and this is from an ADULTS perspective. From one adult to another, Im concerned as to why any of them think this is a normal fixation. Then again they’ve hired quite a large amount of dodgy folks and even a child. Most of this shit gets avoided with a basic background check like most companies run. I DO like Hazbin. Or the premise. I love some of the cast and spite the others. In Helluva, I just like a tiny portion of the cast. And I critique it so harshly because Viv DOES need a wakeup slap, grounding to reality, people who arent going to big her up or kiss her arse for once and shape her up to be the best she can be. The actually reach and even surpass her potential. And to reach where you need to be, there’s a lot of harsh lessons youll face. That’s life. Shes chosen one of the most HEARTLESS industries and if she blocks out critique as ‘hate’ then she’s not strong enough and wont last. It’s just another unprepped YanDev again (except I dont believe Viv to be a nonce. Even with her dodgy past and dodgy present, I think her perspective on sex and relationship with sexuality is FAR from healthy BUT I dont believe she’s a pedophile. Ive bled my fair share and so far, I just think her sex perspective isnt healthy or mature for her age. But there’s little to nothing to suggest actual noncery - dont worry about accusations there. But YanDev is totally a dirty predator. Just clearing that up). Viv NEEDS some harshness and stability if she wants to do things right. And it’ll make her fucking cry but if she loves these projects as much as she claims to, then you’ll sacrifice blood, sweat and tears for that shit. Even the strongest points are mediocre at best when properly observed. She CAN do more, but she’ll have to face the harsh music. Viv wont see this, but if she does, I dont care if it upsets her. Why? Because this is that much of an issue - something she’s cultivated - that she needs to take action and not ignore it or be secretive about it. She needs to grow up and get tougher skin. Im not saying this to cause her pain. In fact, I wouldnt waste my fucking limited time if I DIDNT care. Trust me, I have duties to be met at a certain quota every single day. I say this shit only because I give a shit and care. If we met, she’d fucking hate me. But people like me are good for shaping people up to their potential. And we arent always this ‘tough love’ either. But when someone needs that level of harshness to help themselves, we’re not afraid to lose people or cause upset if the results end up being the best for them. If she ever saw this, she needs to re fucking evaluate her message, her story, and those she’s choosing to welcome into her circle. And all Im seeing is one rookie mistake after the other. Her paid patreon discord. Just like the messages Honest has posted on her side of being harassed (not in Vivs fyi), Ive experienced shit and bullying and even stay silent on their for being attacked for a group I fuckin paid to be in and yet I feel isolated. It’s all arsekissing and ‘thank you viv’ (thats an actual channel-) and it feels like a place of borderline worship and people trying to appease her 24/7 whilst kicking others with different opinions down. There’s so many I love but I aint kissin yer fuckin arse. Ask the closest friend I have - we’re fucking raw and wont just side with each other just because. We’ll call each other out if we think they’ve fucked up and then help each other build themselves up better. Because real fuckin people who actually care wont just want to be adored by you. They’ll care enough to point out your bullshit and help you, even if they upset you at the time. They’re real and upfront with you. People like us arent always the easiest to be close to either because we arent afraid of upsetting someone if it’s in their best interest and to help them. Likewise, we dont go out looking for fights either. Most times, we’re fuckin soft bastards- All this shit listed is the fuckin surface level of the real life hell of this fandom. And unsurprisingly, those who experience little to no toxicity have always been higher on that popularity ‘food chain’ - enough admirers and shared opinions that people wanna arse kiss regardless of their OWN feelings as well as neutral perspectives. I’d say you’re the lucky fans, but you’re not. You’re sheltered, and that isnt always the best way to be sadly. As for the fans. If Ive upset you. Well... I dont care. Because many of you have actively sought me out and weaponised my traumas against me. You never cared about my feelings then. Why should I care about yours? Im not doing this out of malice. Im fed up of humans behaving so pathetically yet claiming to be high and mighty. Most of you have been arseholes to those in and out of the community. The victims and non-victims alike. Hardly any of you considered once my real suffering. You put a drawing over a life. Many lives. You had the audacity to tell me Im full of shit. Some even using my real traumas to make a mockery of me and those Im around with a very similar history. Some with traumatic histories that differ from my own. You hardly ever considered the real lives of those effected. So no, Im not sorry for having the fucking balls to this day to still stand up for our rights and give us a voice that’s long been stolen. Im not sorry for being a fucking victim. Im not sorry for saying what desperately NEEDS voicing. And Im not sorry for not conforming to you or any fandom just to belong. We deserve better than to constantly be your fuckin arse monkeys (well... the trope is butt monkey but yknow-) and to be mistreated, misrepresented and harmed by you. You’re no different to the school bullies who give speeches on anti-bullying day. And I hope every single one of you starts looking into yourselves and improving. PS: Depending on the texts you read, Lucifer is said to have been redeemed or to be redeemed. Fun fact to haunt yalls with~ “

[teamjacobthot]

twilight saga character tag!

thank you sm @softtwihoe for tagging me <3 i feel like im still new to the renaissance fandom on tumblr even tho i never stopped being a twihard so shit like this warms my heart <3

now my spicy twilight takes………………...

1. Character you find most relatable to you as a person?

the love of my life, without a doubt, 100% leah clearwater. mfs tried to make her feel bad for feeling her feelings but she was valid in all of them. also its canon that shes a scorpio but yall aint hear it from me

rosalie bc we have similar trauma (lmao :/) and like to disagree with people. i also love big dumb men

edward. as a fellow whiny musical pissbaby who cant let shit go, i get it

2. Character that didn’t have a POV in the books or certain unfinished manuscripts, but you wish did?

ok maybe this is super underground but sue!!! mf!!! clearwater!!! she had allllllll the tea on the pack and tbh i really wanted to see how she and her family were before and after harry’s death. that event was a really big deal (outside of just bella and edward) and set shit OFF in new moon

billy bc he also had hella tea and i bet he was super fucking conflicted during the ENTIRE saga bc he couldnt say shit to charlie!!! that shit sounds rough!!!!!

quil bc he was the last to phase and i just wanna know what he was going thru. he would’ve had hellaaaaa jokes too but smeyer doesnt care abt nonwhite characters so :/

charlie, assuming he supports the black lives matter movement

i guess overall i just wanna know how EVERYONE was doing in new moon bc that story ran DEEP. i want a midnight sun for new moon but for every character

nobody asked but new moon is the best in the saga and new moon stans have the best pussy

3. Character that’s underrated and deserves more recognition?

the entire wolf pack but wbk

riley but tbh i think its bc i just loved xavier samuel in the eclipse movie

the denali coven!!!! their story was incredible imo and while irina was a snitch, i understand why she snitched. she didnt deserve to die. the denalis deserve so much better and while garrett is cool to have around, that doesnt fill the void that irina left bc the volturi decided to be a bunch of haters. i want them to heal so bad. 

tanya gets a bad rep for having a crush on edward but she deserves better too

i’d like to read abt the vacations that the denalis with the cullens too

oh and all thats just BESIDES the succubus legend that tanya and kate and irina started in canon!!!!!!!! like??????????????????? they fucked and killed human men??????????? thats the story i wanna READ bitch!!!! thats my jennifer’s body (2009) fantasy!!!!! smeyer is a coward tho

btw carmen and esme are girlfriends :)

4. Character you thought was unnecessary for the story?

ok besides the obvious, and nobody drag me for it, but bree tanner. I get she was there to show us how fucked up the volturi are and to sorta predict bella as a newborn but……...we already knew the volturi kill mfs just for fun. if the cullens werent gonna adopt her we really didnt need many details on her. and regarding the newborn thing, bree’s role as a newborn didnt really mean shit bc bella ended up being ~the perfect newborn~ anyway!!!! smeyer tried to sell us the short second life of bree tanner as if there arent other worthy characters of having a spinoff novella about like leah or seth or rosalie or emmett or charlie or resume from bella’s ovary. that being said………..

resume, for multiple reasons including:

resume literally shouldnt exist. vampires shouldnt be able to have working sperm and even then, edward shouldve pulled out. he could barely even tongue kiss bella so wtf made him think he could cum in her????? whyyy didnt he use his big vampire brain to consider that????? 

resume seemed totally unwanted and unthought of??? bella and edward were so mf absorbed in each other like regular teen couples (with 1000x the intensity but still) that it didnt seem likely that theyd want a baby after fucking like three times anyway. miss bella “fuck them kids” swan also gave no indication of wanting children. ever. EYE would have simply aborted and went on to live my best vampire life :)

resumes existence defeats the purpose of imprinting bc theres no way she’d be able to conceive with jacob. at all. but we know smeyer doesnt think shit through

smeyer writing in resume ruined jacobs character even more esp coming off the shitshow that was eclipse. periodt

5. Top 5 female characters?

leah <3

rosalie

bella

sue

angela

6. Top 5 male characters?

jacob (pre-eclipse but that’s implied)

emmett

seth

quil/paul (i love them equally)

edward’s dumb ass <3 sometimes

7. Character interaction that didn’t happen but you wish it did?

rosalie and edward but only under the condition that he finally stops being a misogynistic pissbaby towards her and accepts her for the sexy legend that she is. i feel like they’d get along well but smeyer is anti-hottie and anti-talent so i guess we’ll never know :/

leah and someone who loves her and respects her and validates her feelings :)

JACOB AND HIS SISTERS. OR EVEN JUST RACHEL. she literallyyyyyyyyyy came home after YEARS in breaking dawn but he was too busy simping over bella to acknowledge her??? huh???

bella and a licensed therapist

edward and a licensed therapist

8. Character that deserves more development?

the whole entire wolf pack but wbk

more specifically, embry. whooooom is his father???

emmett. like we get it hes funny and hot but like……….spare depth maam? any spare depth????

9. Character who is your total opposite?

jasper bc he fought for people who look like me to be ENSLAVED and the fandom lets it slide for whatever reason :|

10. Character you warmed up to after experiencing the Renaissance?

edward, in some ways. i relate to him when im feeling extra self-loathing but then i get over it lmao. he’s still stupid tho

i used to think alice was annoying af (and i still kinda do tbh) but as a fashion hoe, i get it

charlie, sorta, even tho he’s a cop. i wasnt there for the original conversation on here but do yall think he supports black lives matter? idk tbh but we’ll never know bc smeyer probably doesnt know what police brutality is. anyways ive really enjoyed the discourse on his relationship with bella and how he doesnt trust edward

jacob <3 he’s always been my heart, my soul, my baby, my fuckin cinnamon apple, etc. but i love the posts that other fans/nonhaters have been making abt how warm and kind he was before smeyer fucked him over and how he deserves so much better. its like yes im glad youre seeing all the things that make me a team jacob thot :)

idk if yall have already been tagged but im tagging @howlonghaveyoubeenseventeen @leahclearwaterdefensesquad @leahclearvvater and @bellas-dumptruck-ass! also anyone can fill this out and say i tagged them <3

[rippedjeansandloudmusic]

im the daughter of an identical twin and heres the tea

Im not a twin. None of my siblings r a twin. The whole twin-parent-twin-kids shit aint true. This is backed up by the fact that in my mom's family every other generation had a twin, and my mom never had any.

They were crazy close before my mom met my father. like, total ride or dies. my mom debated breaking up w my father because he was so fuckin close to my uncle they were constantly around one another

My uncle, when he was young, had an intense brain injury that made it so he was almost brain dead. Ever since that not only does he look nothing like my father (idk why that is they have the same dna but they look nothing alike) but they couldnt be more different. If they werent twins i have no doubt they wouldve fuckin hated each other

Even though they arent attached at the hip anymore, theyre still so fucking close. I dont see it much but my mom talks about how they never go a day without talking.

When my parents got engaged, my uncle fucking raced to get married first. He sorta wanted to make it obvious that he didnt need my father, that he was somehow better than my mom, too, and he was mature. None of these were true, but hes insane so

I also technically have 2 dads and 1 mom, if you think about it genetically. If i took a dna test a'la mourey theyd both be my dad. Crazy.

(My mom says after one convo w my uncle that theyd know she hated him too much to have a kid with him, though. Tea.)

I dont think they have that esp shit??? My mom doesnt, either, but apparently they show up to events wearing the same clothes a lot. Like, they went to a dinner w family a few weeks ago and my dad showed up in khaki slacks and a cranberry polo, and when they saw my uncle he was wearing the exact same fuckin thing my mom lost her shit.

(Dad and uncle: accidentally wear the same thing my mom: didnt u grow out of this shit jesus christ)

My mom hates my uncle, and my uncle hates my mom. My mom doesnt like my uncle mostly because hes an asshole to her (because he is), and i think he doesnt like my mom because she took my dad away from him.

When my parents got married it became obvious that my dad's level of importance was this: my mom, me, my siblings, then my uncle. My uncle's list, though, always had my dads name at the top in bold font. Im not sure how this affected their relationship, but theyre still ride or dies, just with a lot less die.

My dad has been in the same monogamous relationship for roughly 17 years. My uncle has been through 5 marriages, the longest of which is the one he's currently in, 2 years strong.

They co-own a business, and my uncle basically stole a fuckton of money (like close to a million bucks) to make a house in southern kentucky on a river with a boat and shit. Hes still in debt to my dad. After living in this house for roughly 8 years he sold it because his new wife wanted to move.

He sold the house. That spent a million bucks to build. Fucking hell, man

Theyre both shit parents. Not in the way that they dont love their kids (my uncle doesnt have any kids but his ex-wives have) but in the way that their dad was so shit that they dont know how.

Theyre the youngest of 5 boys, and all of their older siblings arent the best. The only stable person is my dad, saying as he's never been divorced and actually cares for his kids.

I'm the oldest of 4 kids, and it seems like both my dad and my uncle want to have a semi-okay relationship with me, even though my uncle still doesn't like me too much saying as im a reminder how my dad 'left him'.

They both seem to have a white knight complex, too. That may be specific to them but yeah.

If you look at the big parts of their lives and/or personalities, theyre nearly indentical. Its only when you get into the details just a bit smaller than 'assholes' or 'educated white men', you see their lives are a lot more different than you'd believe.

U want any more info hit me up. Im not a genius but i do have some insight

[tumblunni]

Man that post is so depressing too cos it shows off how cis people are so obsessed with heavily gendering baby clothes even when the kid is like two months old and barely even has any hair yet. Ive legit seen a goddamn advert for 'little princess stick-ems' or whateber the damn name was, a brand of temporary sticky-back plastic bows and flowers and stuff you can glue to thr head of your bald daughter to make sure everyone knows shes a daughter because HEAVEN FORBID! And its so fuckin creepy how the heteronormativity bullshit for these kids clashes with this 'how dare a baby with no tertiary gender characteristics not have any tertiary gender characteristics' thing to give those gross ass situations where those strangers were sexualizing a young boy under the assumption he's a girl. Like the same damn people who are all 'two male children having crushes on each other is horrible and sexual' were literally SAYING EXACTLY THAT about those two boys who showed zero interest in each other, just because if one of them was a girl it wouod SOMEHOW be okay?? And oh god the extra sexualized coments that creepy person was saying about the presumed-female kid, oh GOD! Why are you conplimenting someone on having a toddler with well defined thighs??? How in the actual fuck. And i bet that creepy person probably left the room thinking that the other parent was the pervert for simply letting their kid wear some generic comfy baby clothes that werent Super Heterosexual In Every Way. Like "how dare they trick me into imposing my creepy pedophilia for literal two day old girls onto a BOY too!" How in the fuck do these people exist and manage to get away with all this shit. Heteronormative stereotypes i guess...

Also i've gotta give a thumbs up to that nice parent in the conversation who was trying to raise their kid neutrally and make sure that when they became old enough to talk theyd know that their family would accept them if they came out as not cis. Its just a shame that its so hard to do stuff like that when society is the way it is, it gets seen as forcing transness onto a child to just..not force cisness onto a child. *sigh* i really fuckin hate how any time any famous celebrity kid makes any sort of non straight decision in their life their parents get slandered by the press as if they forced the kid to be trans by NOT PUNISHING THEM FOR BEING TRANS. So many horrible 'oh what a dangerous mom you should take her kids away eww look she forced her poor son to wear a dress' type tabloids and then wheb you get to the actual source of the original interview uts always "my daughter says she's my daughter and i went out to support her by buying her new gender affirming clothes." Or 'yes my son still identofies as male but i want to be a good parent who doesnt push gender stereotypes, so i'm letting him know its okay to have 'girly' fashion sense if thats what he likes best'. Its always a roulette between 'is this an actual trans person who's beibg misgendered or just some kid who was caught wearing eyeliner once and everyone is assumibg he's trans?" And either way its just so horrible and degrading, i feel so bad for those kids who confessed to their parents about something thet were really worried about and then their parents were open and welcoming and helped cheer them up by buying some nice new fashion and then a fuckin tabloid comes along like 'fuck u that kid SHOULD be ashamed, we're gonna not only throw them back into the pit of self hatred but call child protection services on you for daring to be a good mother!'

Can we just fuckin ban cis straight people from forcibg any sort of opinion onto kids. "Wah but if a kid even sees a trans thing even once its somehow forcing them to be trans yet me following them around yelling YOU ARE A CIS GIRL YOUR BUTT IS SEXY UR GONNA BE FUCKED BY SO MANY MEN at a goddamn toddler is somehow completely okay'

God the internet pisses me off sometimes

[tilltheendwilliwrite]

Qi Flows for Her

Chapter Two

Previous Chapter

Pairing: Steve Rogers x OFC x Bucky Barnes  |  Word Count: 5561 Warnings: Swearing

Celine stood on the pinnacle of the pretty bridge, staring out at the beauty of Central Park. Evening was falling, her favourite time of day. Long shadows were beginning to coat the buildings beyond the trees and deepened the ones beneath the foliage. The sound of the water under the bridge soothed her anxiety. The two males with her helped as well.

Peter was full of energy, vitality, and fun. Just like his aura, he bubbled with excitement.

It lifted her spirits.

Bucky, too, took her mind off of the drama which was likely unfolding high above in the tower. One would never know to look at him that he was from a different era. He fit quite well into this one. He laughed and joked with Peter about current sports teams and relevant celebrities. Even with the dark aura which hung around him, he had a soothing presence.

When Peter’s phone rang and he sighed, his aura dimming, she knew he was being called home. The little spider was still in high school and had other obligations. He covered his involvement with the Avengers, and as Spider-Man, by saying he was interning with Tony after having won some sort of scholarship. From what she'd seen of his intelligence, it was a good misdirection.

“It is alright, Peter. I am certain I will be here at least a few days.” If this alliance didn’t work out, she would make sure she got to say goodbye before she left. “Will you do me a favour, little spider?”

“Name it, Celine!”

She touched his cheek. “I would rather people not know about my… preferred food source. Can we keep the vampire comments between us?”

His face fell, the thought sobering, but he nodded. “I understand.”

His emotions rippled through his aura. She could feel his disappointment, both in keeping her secret and in how the others had reacted to her. Cupping his chin, she tilted his face up. “Peter, I am fine.” It wasn’t the first time others had reacted poorly to her.

“It's just… not fair. You’re on our side.”

“Hey, pal.” Bucky laid a hand on Peter’s shoulder. “Don’t worry. Steve and I’ll look after Celine and help her fit in. This isn’t going to go there. This ain’t ending up another battle at the airport.”

“Promise?” He looked to Bucky.

Celine frowned, not really understanding the spiking emotions of the two males or the subtle nuances.

“Promise, pal.”

Peter heaved a sigh but smiled and nodded. “Okay. I’ll see you in a few days. If I’m not home in thirty Aunt May is gonna freak.” He took off at a run with a wave.

“Will he make it alright?” Celine asked.

“Parker?” Bucky chuckled. “He’s the web-slinger. He’ll make it.”

Celine leaned back against the edge of the bridge, resting her hands beside her hips. “What did I miss in that exchange?”

He sighed, leaning beside her. “When things went bad after the accords, it split the team. Steve and I were on one side. Peter was on Tony’s. After, when things settled down, and we all made peace, Peter got real attached to Steve. Pretty sure the kid didn’t want to watch the two of them go at it over you, so when he asked to come with…” Bucky shrugged.

Celine brought a hand to her mouth. “I told Charles… I’m not the right choice for this,” she whispered, shaking her head sadly.

“Hey now, it ain’t like that.” His fingers lightly touched the back of her hand.

She looked up to find his eyes full of kindness. “I can't let Wanda in. I can’t, Bucky. There are… things about me which I do not wish to have known. But I am not a danger to your team.”

“Dollface, I know all about people fuckin’ with your head. If you don’t want her running around upstairs, you ain’t gonna hear me protest.”

“Says the man most suspicious of my arrival.”

“Hey! I… that ain’t fair,” he grumbled, eyes twinkling. “I didn’t know you then.”

“You don’t know me now,” she said, pressing away from the railing and sauntering deeper into the park.

“I know no woman in her right mind would wear shoes like that to walk through the park.”

Grinning over her shoulder, she kicked up a foot. “These old things? You’d be surprised what I can do in a pair of stilettos.” There was an intense spike in his libido which she chose to ignore. This was her team now. She wasn’t going to feed on her team no matter how hungry they made her.

Both super soldiers had stirred something inside her with their initial meeting. The first brush of fingers had jolted through her, built a fire, and brought forth her innate sexuality. They made her hungry with so little effort. Sexual desire was not something she’d felt in many years.

It made her flirty. Too flirty. Dialling it back, Celine tucked her hands in her pockets.

His hand closed around her elbow. “Celine, I meant what I said to Peter. You do belong here. Steve and I will make sure the others see that too.”

She blinked at the determination she found in the set of his jaw. “Thank you, Bucky. I have… difficulty adjusting to new environments.”

“You okay, doll? You seem…” He shook his head.

She pulled her arm gently from his hold and walked on. “I have been a freak of nature since I was twelve. It should not surprise me when people fear and abhor me, but it still does. Peter’s easy acceptance, yours, and Steve’s… it’s unsettling. The only others who have been so accepting are Charles, Rogue, and Logan.”

“You ain’t no better or worse than the next person, Celine. Just cause you’re different doesn’t make you a freak.”

She laughed, the sound full of disbelief. “You do not yet understand, but you will. When you see… when you see what I am… and can say those words, mean those words, then perhaps I will believe you.”

“Celine,” he said, voice full of shock and aura full of sadness.

Turning her head, she smiled, but it did not reach her eyes. “It is alright, Bucky. I am used to being alone. If the team chooses to let me stay without demanding to look through my head, I will fight alongside you. But I do not expect you to be comfortable with me. I am not like you.” She motioned with her chin toward the tower. “Steve approaches.” Not yet willing to find out how badly she’d been rejected, Celine walked the other way to sit on a bench far enough from the two soldiers to give them privacy to speak.

***

Bucky had not felt this powerless since his time with Hydra.

Celine, this gorgeous, strong woman, one who sustained her own life off the emotions of others, was so clearly fragile and so deeply scarred he wanted nothing more than to drag her into a hug so tight, she would feel safe and protected for the rest of her life.

What had happened in the tower, that shit couldn’t happen again.

“Steve,” he said when the blond stopped at his side. “You rip Tony a new one?”

“Yeah. He’s really got to stop pulling this stuff,” Steve sighed, rubbing a hand over his mouth.

“He come down off his high horse, or he still demanding Wanda vet Celine?”

“Less of a comedown, more of a knocked off. Wanda won’t do it. I guess can’t do it is more the issue. Celine has shields the likes of which Wanda ain’t ever seen before. She’d barely approached Celine’s mind, and Celine noticed.”

“She belongs here, Steve. I promised Parker we’d look after her.”

Steve’s brow arched. “Weren’t you the one saying you didn’t like this idea?”

“Yeah, well, opinions can change. Celine… she needs us.” He didn’t know how he knew, he just did. “She’s… fragile, pal. For all her power, she’s broken inside. She expects us to work with her but not work with her, ya know? Just ghost along on the outskirts of the team.”

Steve glanced her way, noticing how her eyes were closed, her face tilted to the last rays of the sun. She was, truly, incredibly beautiful. Even here in the park, she was drawing eyes. “What she tell you?”

“Just that the only ones who trusted her were Charles, Rogue, and Logan. The fact that you, me, and Peter didn’t bat an eye threw her. She’s apparently used to being alone.”

“What?” Steve couldn’t believe it.

Bucky shrugged. “No matter what happens on this next mission, whatever she reveals herself as, we can’t let it phase us. I got a weird feeling, a gut feeling. She needs us.” His gut feelings back in the day used to be the ones that kept them out of the worst spots of trouble.

“I’m with you, pal.”

“You’d better be, punk.”

They smirked at each other before heading for Celine.

“So, it appears I am not banished from the team after all,” she called out once they were closer.

“Nah, you ain’t getting rid of us that easy.” She opened her eyes once they stood before her, and Bucky had his breath catch. “C’mon. You said you like food. It’s nearly dinner time, and Wanda was cooking tonight.”

She took his outstretched hand. The same jolt from the contact raced up his arm as before when he tugged her to her feet.

“What is the catch, Steve?” she asked once she was upright.

“How do you keep…?” He shook his head, a wry smile spreading across his lips. “Shoot. Am I that easy to read?”

“Like a book, Cap,” she chuckled. “You must be rubbish at poker.”

“Rubbish?” Bucky snickered.

Celine shrugged. “Charles is rather English. Some of his lingo stuck. It means Steve must suck something fierce at cards.”

“Hey, now! I’m not that bad!” the blond super soldier protested.

“Yeah, you are,” Bucky laughed.

“Big jerk.”

“Scrawny punk!”

Celine snickered. “How is this,” she flicked her hand like a game show hostess down Steve’s chest, “scrawny?”

“He was smaller than a flea before he let the Army jack him full of steroids,” Bucky said. “Thought I told you not to do anything stupid?”

“And I told you, you took all the stupid with you. There was no stupid left. Therefore what I did was patriotic.”

She burst out laughing as they crossed the street. “Are you two always like this?”

“Yes,” they said together.

Celine continued to laugh as she turned away from the main doors to the tower.

“That’s the wrong way,” Bucky called out.

She threw a grin over her shoulder. “As I have two such strong men at my disposal, why not get assistance with my luggage?”

Her walk had a distinct tone of sass to it Bucky preferred to the sadness she’d walked in earlier. He glanced at Steve and muttered, “I feel played. Do you feel played?”

“Don’t hate the player!” Celine called as she entered the parking garage.

Squealing tires had Bucky and Steve looking to the left, but Celine was already striding toward her car and never saw him coming until the lights from the speeding vehicle blinded her. She threw up her arms, and her power burst to life around her, but not soon enough to stop the speeding truck from slamming into her side and throwing her through the air.

“Celine!” Bucky and Steve yelled, racing toward her.

“Shit! I’m so sorry!” The driver was out of his vehicle, cellphone in hand.

Ignoring him for the moment, Steve and Bucky knelt to either side of the crumpled form of Celine. Her eyelids fluttered open, and she groaned.

“Doll? You okay? Just lie still. We’ll get some help.” Bucky pressed his hand gingerly down on her shoulder.

“I’m fine,” she said, batting at his hand.

“You just got hit by a truck! You ain’t fine.” Steve glared at the man who was continuing to babble about not seeing her and the coffee he’d spilled in his lap had distracted him.

“Bucky. Steve, I’m fine,” she reiterated, sitting up against Bucky’s pressing hand. “Just help me up.”

They both gaped at her before each took a hand and lifted her gingerly to her feet.

“Broke my favourite pair of shoes,” she muttered.

“That’s it?” Bucky gasped. “A shoe? You got hit by a truck, and it broke your shoe?”

She blinked at him. “Um… yes?”

“Jesus!” He threw up his hands, turned toward the driver and pointed. “Get the fuck out of here, and slow the fuck down!” The man was one he recognized from the tower, though Bucky wasn’t sure which department he was in. “You’re damn lucky she’s enhanced our you likely would have killed her!”

“Yes, sir!” the man scrambled to obey. “I’m really sorry, ma’am!” he shouted as he got in his truck and practically crawled out of the building.

Celine’s knees wobbled, and Steve grabbed her around the waist. “You sure you’re okay? We should let Bruce check you out.”

She patted his shoulders and pulled away. “Totally fine, promise. I’ve been hit with worse, and far harder.” She walked away, stopping only to take her shoes off and place them in a garbage can.

She got three inches shorter, and Bucky could have groaned. There was nothing better in his opinion than a woman with curves who would fit nicely beneath his chin. Celine checked all those boxes. From the look on Steve’s face, he wasn’t the only one who thought so.

She popped the trunk on her nearby car, pulled out two large suitcases and a third smaller one. From inside that one, she tugged a new pair of shoes.

“Do not tell us that one is just shoes.”

She glanced at Steve and smiled a secret smile but didn’t reply as she brushed off her feet and slipped into the new, shorter set of heels. Her pants had torn at the thigh, giving Bucky a flash of delicate flesh, and the back of her jacket was dirty, but she looked relatively unscathed for someone who’d taken a licking by a pick-up truck. “What’s not in your file, Celine?”

Her grip on the strap of the smaller suitcase she’d placed on her shoulder tightened. “Because I channel chi as I do, I am stronger, faster, and can hear better than your average human. I also… live longer.”

“How can you be certain?” Steve asked.

“I have not aged in twenty years.”

“What?” Bucky asked, stunned.

She simply shrugged. “I do not know how it works, or if I will age, or when. But I am very hard to injure.”

The two soldiers exchanged wry smiles. “Shit, doll. You’re more like us than we realized.”

“Except for the whole not needing to eat thing. I’m starving,” Steve chuckled, grabbing up one suitcase.

Bucky took the other. “Me too.”

“I could eat.” She blushed when they both looked at her. “Um, real food. I won’t need to feed for a few days.”

“We should have a mission by then. That work for you?” Steve asked.

Bucky watched something, a flicker of emotion he couldn’t place, spark in her eyes before she hid them behind her lashes.

“Yes, that will be fine.” Celine nodded, shut the trunk of her car, and followed them to the lobby entrance.

***

She stood within the confines of her suite of rooms and blinked in shock. “Here? This is… here?”

“What? Not up to X-men standards?” Bucky teased.

“We’ll have to tell Tony there’s something better somewhere else.” Steve chuckled.

Horrified, Celine shook her head and walked deeper into the sitting room. “No! That isn't what I meant at all! When I still lived at the Manor, we each have a room, but this is…” She ran out of words and just waved a limp hand.

The main space consisted of a seating area with couches, chairs, and an entertainment center. The wall across from her was all windows with a glass topped desk taking in the view of New York. There was a small kitchenette off to one side, a half fridge, sink, and cabinets. Through the open door, she caught a glimpse of a wide white bed, thick and plush and piled with pillows. A woman would feel like a Queen sleeping among the cloudlike softness promised in all that plush.

Gliding toward the windows, she let her case of shoes fall from her shoulder with a small thump. The walls were decorated in soothing colours. Paintings by various impressionist artists, ones she’d always adored hung around the room. She wondered briefly if Charles had made mention of her preference as it was something he would do.

She touched the soft cotton sheer which hung against the window. “It’s more than I expected.” Celine turned and smiled at the two soldiers standing together across the room. They exchanged a glance, one which she couldn’t decipher before two sets of stunning blue eyes returned to assess her.

“You want to change before dinner, Celine? You’re a bit… mussed.” Steve rubbed a hand over the back of his neck, a light blush of colour rising in his cheeks.

It hit her as being one of the most adorable things she’d ever seen. The big, strong soldier turning shy on her. She nodded, and they moved together before she could say any more to take her cases into the bedroom where she watched them toss them on the bed like they weighed nothing. The action caused the flare of desire to hit her a third time. Their strength was highly attractive.

When her hair fell forward over her shoulder, she glanced at it, noticed the way it was beginning to go from straight to wavy, and took a firm grip on her libido.

Working with these two could prove to be difficult.

She focused on her breathing, calming her rising sensuality and dialled back on her appeal until the wave fell out of her hair. When she looked up, she found them watching her. “What?”

“Something wrong?” Bucky asked.

She took the shades which still rode her head out of her hair and tilted her chin up as she set them on the dresser. “Not that I am aware of. If you gentlemen will excuse me.” She motioned toward the door.

They exchanged another one of those looks before they left, shutting her in the room alone. Clearly, they knew each other very well as that silent form of communication was powerful. Their auras fluctuated in concert with one another, showing deep friendship and loyalty. Steve and Bucky were brothers in the truest sense of the word. Related by blood or not, they were bound together at the deepest level. She’d only ever seen such connection in twins.

Celine walked gingerly across the room, proud of herself for holding it together as well as she had been. She wasn’t fine after getting hit by the truck. She had expended an enormous amount of energy to keep herself safe, but she hadn’t been fast enough. She had lied when she’d said she didn’t need to feed for a few days. She needed to feed now and eating with the team would do nothing but prolong her agony. Tonight, she needed to get out. Hunt. Appease the pain in her middle before anyone noticed.

Opening her case, she pulled out a loose, emerald green dress, stripped off her clothes, and walked naked into the bathroom where she lifted her hair and turned to see her back. Bruises ran the length of her spine and more covered her hip where the truck had connected. “Fuck,” she hissed softly, aware of the powerful ears of the super soldiers beyond the door. This was not good.

Celine pulled the sundress over her head. It floated down around her. Its handkerchief hem swirling in points about her calves. Spaghetti straps held it up, the silk clinging to her curves and highlighting her breasts and returned to the bedroom for a short-sleeved sweater. It didn’t seem to matter what she wore, everything screamed sex due to her nature, but the light cardigan adequately covered the bruises on her upper back. Still, she left her hair down, adding another layer of protection to make it through the next few hours.

Before opening the door, she knelt to the floor and pressed her hand to the carpet, allowing her consciousness to flow down. She sought out anyone nearby she could extract a little chi from to get through dinner, but there was no one close enough except for those upon this floor. The building fairly hummed with life, but there were too many floors between her and them.

Gritting her teeth, Celine pushed to her feet, pasted on a smile, and walked out of the bedroom. She would do dinner, show no weakness, then see about getting out of here for a few hours.

***

Dinner had been far harder than she'd expected. Especially as she never did get to eat.

Wanda had pulled her aside the moment the three of them appeared, apologizing profusely for her part in what had happened. The contrition and guilt in the Scarlet Witch’s aura proved her words true.

Celine had accepted graciously, assuring Wanda there were no hard feelings. She was merely doing what had been asked of her.

Bruce had approached afterward, having heard from Steve and Bucky about her run-in with the truck. He'd bombarded her with questions, getting rather intense as his excitement in her uniqueness grew.

She was saved by, of all people, Stark, who took her by the elbow and overrode every protest Bruce made.

Tony had tugged her across the room, seating her at the bar where he'd flirted, being both contrite and condescending, his emotions and aura showing what he really felt for her. He was wary. He didn't trust she wasn't there to cause problems. He wasn't sure this alliance would work or was a good idea. And, though he looked at her and lusted, she was inhuman, the term the Avengers had been using for a mutant.

How right he was.

She was inhuman. So far removed from humanity they had now become her food source.

When he grew even more intense than Bruce had been, his snide, backhanded compliments beginning to sting, Celine lightly placed her hand on his, leaned forward and turned on her appeal. “I find you to be a highly condescending, swine of a man. As an empath, it is impossible to lie to me. Your false compliments and fake apology leave a foul taste in my mouth. You do not like, nor trust me. Fine. I am here at the request of Charles. His wishes mean far more to me than yours. You do not wish to take my word for it, but I mean this team no harm. I am here to work with you, but if you continue to work against me, I will not hesitate to knock you on your ass… Iron Man.”

He’d blinked a few times when the fog of lust she’d built around him evaporated, and the words she’d spoken registered. Then, surprisingly, he’d laughed. What negative emotions had warred in his aura changed, and the suspicion disappeared.

“About time you stood up for yourself.” He’d patted her hand and walked away, leaving her seat at the bar in shock.

It had been a test. How in the hell had he managed to make his aura appear so…? Her eyes drifted to the Scarlet Witch.

Wanda looked very guilty.

Rising from the bar stool, Celine stalked through the exterior doors. She was livid! They couldn’t probe her mind, so they devised another test to see if she was what she claimed to be.

How quaint! How contrite! How.... ingenious.

She couldn't stay mad when it truly had been a brilliant bit of manipulation and sighed when she walked to the railing to look out over the dark city. All the life which flowed below called to her. She could practically taste it.

“Natasha,” Celine murmured, not bothering to look at the woman who sidled up beside her.

The redhead studied her for a long moment. “What are you?”

Celine cocked her head. “What do you mean?”

“An Energy Vampire you said, but what you just did to Tony had nothing to do with chi.”

Observant. Spy.

Celine blinked slowly, continuing to hold the muted green gaze of the woman. “He was being rude. I simply set him straight.”

Her brow arched, disbelief coating her features. “Can you mesmerize people like in the vampire legends?”

Celine closed both hands over the guardrail. “Not in the way you are thinking.” She could alter memories of herself for those she'd fed on, and she could whip them into such a frenzied need, such a pool of lust they would walk off the edge of the building if she commanded it, but she could not take over their mind with a look. Once she let them go, their mind was theirs again.

Natasha stepped closer, the suspicion on her turning her aura into a beacon of red, blue, and yellow pulsing light.

Hunger had Celine’s hands clenching.

“I’m telling you right now, you do anything to endanger this team, I’ll gut you like a fish.”

“You are welcome to try, Widow, but you do not yet know who you are up against,” Celine warned.

“Why don’t you tell me then?” The muted green had turned harsh, challenging.

Celine hated being challenged. She knew exactly who she was, but if the Widow was so curious... “My name is Celine Ena. It was given to me by Charles when I was fifteen. It means fiery moon for darkness is my bedmate and the fire of chi my lifeblood.” Her skin began to glow, shimmer with her power as her hair began to curl. “Energy vampire was the moniker give me by the children I grew up with when their fear of me became great.” Natasha’s eyes widened, and Celine knew hers had begun to glimmer and spark with gold as the amber lightened in her irises. “But my chosen name, my X-men name, is known only to a select few.” Leaning down, she whispered near Natasha’s ear.

The redhead stumbled back away from her, and Celine straightened slowly.

“You hurt anyone on this team…” Natasha trailed off.

“Why would I hurt my own team? I have already told you, I do not feed on teammates. Steve, Bucky, and Peter have been most welcoming and kind.”

“And the rest of us?”

“You have shown me only fear and distrust. I will do my job, be here, work as part of this team, but I cannot change the minds of those who see me only as a monster. Who look at me with hate and disgust as you currently do. I am what I am. I had no choice in the matter. Yet, you would see me caged and collared because of something which was not my doing.” Celine sighed. “It matters not. I am here, and until Charles calls me home, I will stay.” She walked away, heading around the side of the building.

“Where are you going?” Natasha called.

“I require a walk. I do not require food.” And she was done dealing with people who saw her as a threat, or an experiment, or a challenge.

“You can’t leave.”

She jerked to a stop and peered through narrowed eyes over her shoulder. “Excuse me?”

“Didn’t Steve tell you? It was the deal made. You won’t let Wanda vet you, you have to stay where we can keep an eye on you. You’re on house arrest, Celine, until we’re satisfied we can trust you.”

She slowly closed her fists. Here, now, was the catch Steve had, indeed, failed to mention. What the hell was she going to do? “I see.” Celine headed back through the doors to the interior of the building and straight for the elevator.

“Celine?” Steve called out, jogging over with a smile on his face. “Where are you going?”

“As I’m being treated like a teenager, I thought I would go sulk in my room like one,” she snapped.

He had the decency to flinch. “Yeah, sorry about that. I meant to tell you, but… stuff happened.”

She shook her head. “I will not say it is fine. It isn’t. You treat me like an enemy. The fox who has snuck into the hen house. I mean none of you harm, yet you persist in testing me, probing at me, treating me as a thing to be mistrusted. I am a person, no matter how much my mutation has taken from me!” When he tried to take her arm, she jerked away, raked her gaze over the group in general, and walked out, getting on the elevator to return to her room.

Only once the doors closed did she lean against the wall and allow the single, heart-wrenching sob to slip from her lips. “Why, Charles? Why did you have to send... me?”

She was so tired of being hated and feared and loathed.

So very tired.

***

Bucky stormed over to Steve. “What the fuck just happened?”

“I don’t know, but I’m sure as hell going to find out.” Steve glared at Natasha as he stomped across the room. “What did you say to her?”

She didn’t even twitch in the face of his rage. “Standard greeting.”

“In other words, you threatened her. God damn it, Natasha!” Steve barked. “We’re trying to improve relations, not start a war!”

Her face closed down. “I’m not the one you need to be concerned with!”

“Celine is part of this team!”

“She shouldn’t be!” Natasha snarled.

Stunned, Steve took an involuntary step back. “Since when did you become so cynical?”

“Since I found out who she really is!” She pushed past Steve to look at the rest of them. “We should be sending her packing with a thanks, no thanks, back to Xavier.”

“Natalia! What the fuck’s wrong with you? Celine is nice. At least give her a chance,” Bucky stated.

She sneered at him. “You don’t get it.”

“Don’t get what?” asked Steve.

“She’s not just a Qi Manipulator or an Energy Vampire. She’s so much more, and you two are letting her live in the lion’s den!”

“Natalia, ob"yasnis'!” Bucky snapped.

“Explain myself? Sure, Barnes. I’ll explain myself. She’s the one they call Styx!”

The only one to react was Clint who sat straight up. “She’s Styx?”

“What is a Sticks?” asked Thor.

A frustrated growl left Nat’s chest. “None of you read the files on the X-men, did you?”

“I read it, but I don’t remember a Sticks,” Bucky grumbled.

“Nor I,” said Wanda.

“Styx, like the river goddess of ancient Greek mythology. The mutant whose moniker is denoted by that name is said to be called this name because all life flows through her. She is, essentially, the gateway to the afterlife.” Vision recited.

“That’s it?” Steve asked.

“Styx has remained a mystery for most of her existence as an X-men. She prefers to work alone, under cover of darkness. It is said only that she can sweep a building within minutes, leaving behind severely weakened or dead agents in her wake. It is said she can look at a man and see his life, his soul, then she chooses. Life… or death.”

“Cool.”

They all turned to look at Scott.

“What?” he shrugged a shoulder. “If she’s so powerful, isn’t it better to have her on our side instead of against it?”

“I can’t believe I’m saying this,” Sam sighed, shaking his head, “but the bug is right. She seems nice enough, maybe a little cool, but we haven’t exactly been welcoming either.”

“She’s lonely.” Wanda looked away when all eyes swung to her. “I could pick up her emotions a little when she was speaking with Tony.”

“Wanda’s right. Celine expected us to turn on her. It’s what everyone does. She said as much when she was with Peter and me in the park. This shit right here,” Bucky motioned to the room, “is fucked up. We’re supposed to a team, but all some of you have done is make her feel like shit. Well done.” Turning on his heel, Bucky walked away.

“Someone’s smitten,” Natasha snorted.

“Nat,” Steve said, waiting for her to look at him. “You’re acting like a bitch.” Her eyes widened as the others gasped. “You got issues? You got insecurities? You got a problem with her being here? Then solve it, because Celine is going to be here for the foreseeable future. Xavier wants this to work, I want this to work, and Stark you were pushing for it too. Stop testing her!” He glared at Tony.

“I’d just feel better if Wanda could…” Tony sighed, flicking a wrist in dismissal. “I’ll fix it.”

“Good.” Steve looked around the room at all the contrite faces. “She’s here. She’s staying. Get it together.” Without another word, he followed Bucky out of the room.  

Next Chapter

[thoughtsofadaydreamer]

Cleaning house

(Punisher fan fiction)

Little Italy, NY. Circa 1977. New York. Americas Mafia homeland. Originating in the late 19th century long before any of us in this era even knew how to say the word “Mafia”. Growing fearsome and powerful in the 20s and 30s. Prohibition era was a goldmine for the Mafiosos. And into the 40s, 50s, 60s. Reaching their peak in the 70s. No one, not even the president could stop the Mafia in this time. At least that is until a tragic sunny day happened in the summer of ‘75. “They should have put another bullet in my skull.” Castle thinks to himself. Sitting patiently inside of his black van. He stares off into the distance towards the front of a convenience store. “Tricanni’s” the building reads. Frank Castle was the victim of an attempted murder on his life. Still alive to remember the day, he truly died when his wife and 2 kids werent so lucky. Slain by the mob on what was meant to be a picnic day at the park. After discovering a mob hit, the Castle family were to be killed for the witnessing. When Frank arose from death, with no help from the crooked police department, he began a one man war against the cities underworld. After 2 years, Frank is digging deeper and deeper into the mob. Chipping away for the past 2 years to get to the higher ups.

Dominic Tricanni was a Caporegime (captain) for the Gnucci (pro. NEW-CHEE) crime family. The same organization responsible for the death of Franks family. Tricanni being his last lead on the whereabouts of Ma Gnucci after she went into hiding. Ma Gnucci was the wife of Don Vittorio Gnucci. When the Don died, his widow decided to take his place of power. Something never before seen until her time. Ruling the crime family with her hand practically on everyones balls. A real mean old bitch as many of her own associates consider her. Castle originally planned on attacking each of the capo’s crews to break down the family section by section. But when Ma Gnucci decided to lay low, Castles only way of finding out her location is through the last captain still breathing. This is where Tricanni comes in. Frank waits outside for another 10 minutes. Only looking away for a millisecond to check his watch every now and again. Once the lights go out in the building, Frank gears up. He throws his leather trenchcoat over his white skull kevlar and makes his way across the street.

Tricanni’s was a typical NYC business building. Store on the bottom, apartments on top. He knew thats where the mob run establishment counted profits through the fronts. The place where you buy a loaf of bread, some milk, maybe some snacks, smokes, beer, and a package of God knows what if you ask for the right people. Understand? However much money was made through the packages, was moved upstairs. So the building had to have wiseguys with guns throughout the building. Frank taps on the glass of the door, holding his head down as the man behind the counter peeks out. Castle sticks up his middle finger yelling the words “Fuck you, you fucking guinea pricks!” The man dashes out through the door “I TOLD YOU LITTLE BASTARDS TO STOP COMI-“ the man stops and looks around an empty street. Feeling alone. Until 2 man hands grip under his chin and on top of his cranium. Twisting with a loud violent crunch. He drops dead weight into Castles arms, dragging him into the store. Dumping him off behind the counter. Castle searches his body and discovers a Colt. 1911. Checking the chamber for a round. “Full clip” he mutters to himself. Holstering the weapon down the front of his belt. His boots silently stepping through the door to the stairway. He listens. “HAHAHAHA!!!” Laughter coming from upstairs. He follows the sound of humorous covervastion until he spots 2 more waiting around the next corner. “Ay, so how was that slut you took home last night?” One asks the other. Castle eases up the stairs hugging the wall close with his back, listening. “Yo i think you were right about’er....been itchin’ all day. Fuck!” The 2 men laugh hysterically, castles lip snarls at the sound of the 2 mobsters. He listens for footsteps. Trying to pinpoint how they move.

Planning his next move, he unholsters one of his own pistols. An all black enhanced 1911 .45. Loaded with armor piercing rounds. He begins to twist a silencer on the handgun as one of the pair speaks, “you hear about Freddy?” Then the other, “All i know is hes dead, why?” The conversation continues. “I mean how he died. Cops and news reporters saying its the punisher. I believe ‘em.” Castle almost smiles as he peeks around the corner ever so slightly. “Ahhh fuck Castle. If i see ‘em ill have ‘em carrying his heart in a fuckin’ doggy bag.” Castle makes his move while their guards are down. “Nows your chance.” He mutters to them, standing below the staircase. Before the men could draw their weapons Castle unloads 2 rounds into their heads. The bodies drop with the shell casings. The wall behind them painted with blood and brain. “Whoops, too slow.” He jokes as he steps past the bodies. Meanwhile on the 3rd floor, Dominic Tricanni discusses bullshit talk while he counts his earnings. “So far its 15 G’s Dom.” One of his associates speaks up. “Not bad, not bad at all.” Tricanni replies. His face a little aged. Like an old war veteran who was the grease monkey cook of the platoon but could fight. Which he could. Tricanni used to be an amateur boxer on the streets of Jersey. Eventually being hired by Don Vittorio Gnucci himself as a source of income. Over time he became a small time enforcer on the side before choosing to work full time for the mob. Rising through the ranks and being granted his own crew in NY. A foul mouthed, tough Italiano with a love for money and a good fight. “This stays between us. Ma wants 10% of every take. Well we gonna give her what she THINKS is 10%. Tell her maybe business was slow this week. Not alot of customers. Capiche?” The others nod and reply, “Capiche”. Flicking cigarettes and downing scotch. “That bitch gets on my nerves.” Tricanni states. One cracks a joke, “Maybe shes a bitch because ever since Vito died, she hasnt been getting...properly pampered? If you know what i mean?” They chuckle as another pokes fun, “yeah Dom why dont you dust her off and take her for a spin y’know? Take one for the team huh?” Dominic laughs then responds, “I wouldnt fuck her with YOUR little pee shooter Ralphy.” They laugh, oblivious to the trouble approaching. Outside the room, Castle covers the mouth of another mobster. As his knife calmly slices across the adams apple of the man. The sound of muffled choking and blood curdling fills the vigilantes ears. Watching the door in case he is too audible. More laughter is heard as Frank drops the body. Snagging a sawed off shotgun from the dead mans grip. He holsters the shotgun to unscrew the silencer from his pistol. “Gonna have to get loud.” He thinks to himself. He currently wields both weapons, standing in front of the apartment door. He knocks on the door, waiting to hear the footsteps get closer. He hears whistling from behind the door signaling a cue for his next move. “BOOM!”

The mobster goes stumbling back, leaving a large hole in the door from the sawed off. “WHAT THE FU-! [BOOM!]” the last round from the shotgun bursts through the door. Enough to send the gangsters back falling to the floor. Castle spartan kicks the door with his large heavy combat boots. Breaking it off the hinges. Dropping the sawed off and equipping his secondary pistol. “BAM! BAM!” Headshots. 2 mobsters rise from behind the table, greeted with .45 caliber rounds to the cranium. Tricanni, still down, is painted with his mens blood. From the kitchen another spawns “HEY!!! ITS CASTLE!!!” Castle twists his head to the left. Just as the gangster pulls the trigger on his Micro smg. Machine gun fire sprays the room as Frank jump into the bedroom. Landing on his side. Bullet holes spawn as the mobster continues to unload his clip. Sending glass and drywall pieces all over the bedroom. Castle sends a few rounds through the wall in return. He notices a change in the scenario. The shots change place, now being shot from the right instead of the left. Frank follows up with gunfire of his own. Popping off the rest of the clip into the wall as a distraction before “BAM!” He lets off one last round just as the mobster was changing positions. Killing him. Tricanni sees this and attempts to run. “BAM! BAM!” Castle puts 2 in Tricannis leg. The Mob captain screams in agonizing pain as he attempts to crawl. But Frank beats him to it. And grabs him by his foot. Dragging him to the kitchen.

Tricanni sits handcuffed in a dining room chair. Dripping blood from his leg wounds. “What do you want with me Castle?” Frank stares him down, silent. Pulling up a chair seating himself directly in front of Dominic. “You want to know where Ma is!? Is that it? Well fuck you! I hate that old cunt just as much as you but ill be damned if i cooperate with you!” Frank doesnt break his cold stare. Keeping eye contact. Suddenly Tricanni feels a jolt of excruciating pain sent up his thigh and all over his leg. Frank has stuck his finger inside his bullet wound. “I think we need to try that again.” His voice gruff and dark. Like death itself if it could talk. Tricanni grits his teeth, holding back any screams as best as he can. Frank hooks his finger making Tricanni tear up and jolt around. “Where...is...Ma...Gnucci?” Tricanni breathes heavy but doesnt scream or give in. “I admire your pain tolerance. I wont take away your strength, ill give you that. But Tricanni either you give me an address or i plant a third one in your leg and play bowling. Now tell me....” he cocks his pistol and aims below the 2 bullet wounds. Suddenly, his home phone rings. Frank looks at Tricanni and stands. “No running off.” He walks over and picks up the phone as a woman speaks. Tricanni watches as Castle writes down on a napkin. He hangs up after a few minutes and washes his hands of blood. Tricanni pants as he speaks up “s-so what now?” Castle stops and looks down at Dominic “Now?” He raises his arm “(click) BAM!” Tricanni’s brains coat over the kitchen counter. “You give the devil my regards.”

As Castle walks back down into the convenience store the phone behind the counter rings. Frank ponders but then decides to answer. “Is this Tricanni’s?” Frank almost chuckles “It was...” he thinks to himself. “Yes” he answers. The man on the phone continues on. “Tell him ill be back by to pick up my package i ordered. Is tomorrow a good time?” Frank looks outside for any company. “Not a good idea. Tricanni’s is kind of going out of business after tonight and will be discontinuing any service to the public. Sorry for the inconvenience.” He hangs up and walks out into the New York streets back to his van. Checking the napkin he wrote on. “Rochester-3:00 p.m.-brick house few blocks from hospital. Tuesday.” He folds it up and starts the van. “Nothing like a little spring cleaning to make you feel like a new man.” He smirks to himself as he drives through the dark lonely streets.

[hornsbeforehalos]

That’s Not What Happened

Pairing: Rob Benedict x @natasha-cole Warning: Angsty, Language, RPF, mention of nakedness and smut

A/N: For my 200 followers contest winner, and fellow Robbie Trashcan<3  DONT POST MY WORK ANYWHERE. 

TAGS: TAGS: @make-things-beautiful2 @reigningqueenofwords @srj1990@jesbakescookies@aquivercactus@daddy-kink-confirmed @kellyn1604@dragongirl420 @through-thesilver-lining @redm81 @srj1990 @natasha-cole @bloodstained-porcelain-doll

“Jesus Christ, that’s not what happened.” Rob rolled his eyes as he spoke into the microphone, shaking his head slightly in irritation at Matt’s response to a fan’s question.

“Hey, that’s what I heard, dude, I wasn’t there.” Matt replied, throwing his hands up in surrender as he wandered back from the front of the stage to his chair.

“Exactly, you werent’. So keep your mouth shut.” 

“So why don’t you tell ‘em what happened, Robbie?” Came her voice suddenly, annoyance strong in her tone as she stepped from behind the curtain.

The fans weren’t sure whether they should be cheering for her appearance or keep silent, unaware of what was about to occur up on the stage between the two ex lovers.

“Oh here we go,” Sighed Rich, one hand on his hip as he held the microphone to his lips, shaking his head as he tried to buffer, “Now’s not the time, guys.”

“Sure it is, Richie,” She argued, sarcasm dripping into her voice as she motioned towards Rob, “Let him explain himself.” 

“She was fucking crazy, she snuck into my trailer, no one even knows how she got onto set.” He ranted, anger and nerves making his voice tremble, “She was hiding under my fucking bed, Nat.”

“And your dick just so happen to slip and fall into her vagina?” Natasha snorted, crossing one arm across her chest and to hold the elbow of the arm holding the microphone, “Over and over again?”

"I didn’t sleep with her.” Rob insisted.

“That’s not what she said,” Rich mumbled into the mic with a small chuckle.

“Shut the fuck up, Rich,” Both Natasha and Rob growled simultaneously before turning their scowls back to each other.

“I didn’t sleep with her.” Rob repeated, shaking his head in frustration, “No matter what was posted or what you believe.”

“Whatever,” She rolled her eyes.

“You know what? You and I weren’t even together, it’s not like you even have the right get mad.”

“Excuse me?” She gasped back, head cocking like she’d been punched, “And who’s decision was that?”

“You see what you guys did?” Rich attempted to joke, pointing an accusing finger at the fans as he continued to shake his head.

“Technically Matt’s the one who tried to answer the question.” Rob spat back.

“Hey, that’s what I thought happened, I wasn’t expecting Nat to crash with the deets, man.” Matt rebutted, throwing his hands up again defensively. 

“Rob’s just mad that he’s getting called out in front of everybody,” Natasha giggled, sarcastic smile embellishing her face. 

“That’s not what fuckin’ happened, damnit! I pushed the crazy lady out of my trailer, not my fault she was naked and you just so happened to walk by!” Rob bellowed, his voice raising higher than anyone had ever heard it as he stood from his seat, anger pouring out of his irises and driving into Nat’s skin like daggers, “You weren’t even supposed to be there!”

“No, I was just going to try to talk to you about your unwillingness to commit to anything, only to find you half naked and pushing a fully naked lady out of your fucking trailer once you saw me coming!” She hissed right back, fed up with his excuses as she shoved the microphone into Rob’s chest, fighting back the urge to slap him right across his mouth, before stomping her way back behind the curtain in a huff.

“Annnd let’s give a round of applause to Nat, ladies and...gentle..men...”Rich trailed off as he dodged mulitple hits from Rob and Matt.

[foccaccia]

@disneychanneloriginalmovie

LONG ANSWER: for me, at least, sam/frodo is the ultimate 'been through hell and back again' ship. both jonmartin and sam/frodo are two men who have faced horrors beyond comprehension, too massive to fight, both internal and external, and come back again (yes, i know tma isnt over yet and knowing mr jonny 'the mechanisms' sims we ought to be worried but shhhhhhhh theyre both still alive for now). theyve had to fight to even trust those around them and those they care about, but in the end know that they can rely on each other.

jon and frodo are very similar to me as characters. while frodo isnt human, obviously, i do still think he struggles greatly with his sense of personhood and choice, with the ring bearing down on him, a 'gift' he can use at great cost to himself and others but at times seeming to be the only thing keeping him alive. and that versus jon, who is losing his humanity and constantly being forced to see that his choices, while made by him, werent really his own, burdened with the 'gift' of the beholding, which he can use at great cost to himself and others but at times seeming to be the only thing keeping him alive. also both the ring and the watchers crown are like. the end of the world as we know it.

both jon and frodo battle not only hostile forces but their own self, and both of them also are constantly forced to mistrust those around them. both are incredibly strong people who are just doing their best in some truly dark, awful situations. i think the really big differences between them for me are that frodo chose to bear the ring to mordor and that he had a clear end goal, while jon is truly in the dark most of the time, but a lot of their personalities seem similar to me. also theyre both bookish nerds lmao

sam and martin are pretty similar to me too. i think the book captured sams stubborn, slightly-bastard side a little better than the movies (by virtue of having more room and time to develop characters if nothing else) but both of them are generally genial, kind men who love things like poetry and home, tea and comfort, but are loyal to the one they care about to a goddamn fault, self-sacrifice be damned. and they both will show a brave streak, a clever mind, and a smart mouth when the time comes for it.

i could also draw some parallels between 'sam thinks frodo is dead (even tho frodo is just unconscious) so sam takes the evil ring and the burden of saving the world and goes to destroy it himself, because someone has to, even if it kills him' and 'martin thinks jon is basically dead (even tho jon is just in a coma) so martin allies with peter lukas and decides to do whatever it takes to save the world, because someone has to, even if it kills him'.

obviously the parallels arent perfect, and tma is a story thats more based on horror and despair to lotrs overall message of hope, but.

moments that, to me, have equal if different energy:

"dont go where i cant follow!" and "i really loved you, you know?"

"i cant carry the ring, mr frodo, but i can carry you!" and "martin. martin, look at me. look at me and tell me what you see."

also, this makes tim boromir, and i think either melanie/georgie or daisy/basira would make a good eowyn/faramir and thats fuckin painful and perfect sO.

SHORT ANSWER: they have the same Vibes

jonmartin is just modern horror sam/frodo

[bloody-hellsing]

So I watched the 1998 version of The Phantom of the Opera

and I decided to write down my thoughts as I did so. God, it was such a horrible movie, and if you read through this you can tell how much I really think so. I progressively got more angry and done with it as I watched, hahaha. This is really long, very grammatically incorrect, unorganized and unedited, but venting to Notepad like this really helped me to get through that damn movie. So, if you’d like, you can check under the cut to read what I thought throughout the movie.

what the fuck

what is this rat doing

how the fuck did this rat have enough strength to pull the baby out of the water

why do the rats care

how do they care

WHAT THE FUCK

THAT CHILD GRABBED THE RAT

AH

no

stop

Why did this child bond with the rats. How. How did this happen. Can rats bond with people like that? I didn't think they could actually think that way

why is the wall leaking and why would he keep hitting it

same

mE

oooo he just got fucked lol

HOW DID HIS WHOLE UPPER HALF GET FUCKED UP LIKE THAT WHAT THE HELL

WHAT THE HELLIS THAT THE PHANTOM WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON

OH MY GOD WHO THOUGHT THIS WAS A GOOD IDEA WHY

is she gonna start singing just because she's alone

I was right

called it

ooo there he is is he gonna fall in love with her

he's weird

the face she made was funny

what is she doing

wait are those her nipples

I think I can see her nipples through her dress

what the fuck

ugh the movie's only nine minutes in

who the fuck is that

I'd turn right around like fuck that

what the hell

ok no he didn't say anything

he's creepy

is that Erik.

is his name even Erik in this or just the phantom? eehh I'm just gonna call him Erik it's easier

shouldn't he be... deformed? a bit??

no go away

this is very weird

why?

oooo because he isn't supposed to be there

how the fuck is she gonna "hear your thoughts" wtf

ok bitch is she talking to herself

is she crazy

oh my god

this person is gonna die becuase that rat got killed huh

this man is very unsanitary wtf

lol me

what is he doing

why did he just grab the mouse trap dumbass

eewwww why are the rats biting him and why is he just screaming like fucking do something about it

that was random

he's gonna become ratman now

eheh

lol I'm the girl hanging out with Christine

is she Meg?

Are they talking about Raoul? Did he send her those roses?

I'M CARLOTTA

it sounds like Carlotta is singing "Raoul" it's funny like same

what the fuck is Christine "hearing" Erik? The fuck

Is she talking to him thourgh her mind? The hell? She seems fucking crazy omg

Ok Christine is fucking crazy I think that the phantom is just a figment of her imagination and she's just psycho

that man is dirty

why is he specifically the rat exterminatior why cant he be a regular janitor

eww why are there so many rats and why the fuck does he keep the tails? nasty ass

these two men must think he's insane

EW HIS HAND IS FUCKED AAHHH GROSS IM TRYING TO EAT SNACKS FUCK OUTTA HERE WITH THAT

lol "shit" me hahaha

"strange things have been happening" naw everone is just fucking nuts

I don't wanna watch this movie anymore but I guess I gotta finish now

ugh Erik is so fucking creepy

did he just sniff her

HER FEMALE SMELL?? WHAT THE FUCK

he's sniffing her scarf and I'm fucking uncomfortable

his nose is big. and pointed.

I want him to leave

oh thank god he did

I'm the dude thats just swinging down from random ropes

was he watching them

they werent quite that subtle anyways

ooo he found a secret passage he gonna die

WHAT THE FUCK HE JUST GRABBED A LADY BY HER BOTTOM STOP IT

why is she ok with this how well do they know each other

ooo are they in box five

who is this guy who is just interviewing people and taking notes I wasnt paying attention when he came in

"shhh let's go now" lol me @ this movie

Alfred seems very annoying

his voice isn't fitting with his lips and face and look it's really weird

the lady's talking is weird in that same way too

hmmm they think there's treasure and they want it they're probably gonna die

TITS AH TITS JUST HAPPENED

that was... interesting

what the hell is going on now where are we what is this place why is there a party

umm that guy talking in the background to the little girls is super creepy

there's a lot of creepy people here

AH THAT GUYS FACE WHAT THE HELL HE'S SO CREEPY

WAIT FUCK IS HE RAOUL OH FUCK NO NO PLEASE

he seems awkward it's weird

lol she doesn't like roses rekt @ him

did that lady just storm out why is she so randomly butthurt

be the brother she never had? he just got friendzoned lol

uh oh they gon die

I really don't think there's any treasure guys

uh oh the rats heard them are they going to somehow tell Erik

ewww so many rats

wait are they telling him that they're there

how the fuck

how many rats do you think were used in this movie

HE JUST GOT SNATCHED UP WHAT THE FUCK

wait there really is a treasure

WHAATTT he just outted his girlfriend that asshole

HE JUST FUCKING CALLED HIMSELF A RAT WHAT THE FUCK

I'm calling him Ratman now

Alfred just died haaaaaa get rekt

I'm her scream oMG

she's just making a whole bunch of bad decisions rn

what's dripping

if there's a jumpscare I swear to god

I admire her trying to cover her tracks but she about to die

how the fuck did she even get stuck and how does he not hear her she's being loud

she's stupid

he's stupid

this movie is stupid

I'm angry lol

what the fuck is that face on the wall

I ACTUALLY HAD TO PAUSE THE FUCKING MOVIE WHAT THE FUCK WHY IS HE BITING HER TOUNGE IS HE TRYING TO RIP IT OUT OF HER MOUTH WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE FUCK WHY DID THE ACTORS AGREE TO DO THIS AAAAHHHH NOOOOO WHAT THE FUUUUCCCCKKK AAAHHHH THAT'S SO GROOOSSS IM SHAKING FUUUCCKKKK

OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD NO HER TOUNGE NO FUCK

you know that noise Tina Belcher makes that uncomfortable "uuhhhhh" noise welL YOU SHOULD FUCKING HERE MY RIGHT NOW MY LORD

FUCK THIS MOVIE

lol she just hit this dude with a chair, like, if only I could do that to this fucking move

did he say "you're wrong" or did he call him a rug

is this dude having a heart attack wtf

lol "he's dying" in the most calm way haha me

what the fuck is this motherfucker imagining right now my lord

fuck this guy is weird

*idubbbz voice* I wanna die

ewww I don't wanna see in this bitches throat ugh

why did this bitch scream ugh stfu

Christine makes funny faces when she sings and looks around weirdly it's funny

her face lol her eyes are like buldging

oo Ratmans here

she fuckin died

haha

why'd she pass out though

there are so many people standing around her like back tf up guys

I'm her like whimpering like me @ this movie

lol I'm the doctor

he has funny hair

god why does Christine make such funny/weird faces

fuck off Raoul you're fucking weird

how the fuck did Ratman get there

ugh he's so creepy he needs to fuck off as well

ugh this movie need to fuck off

why am I watching this

uh oh now Raoul's gonna die haha

idek if that's Raoul wait a sec I'm gonna look it up

ya it's him... I think. I'm just gonna keep going with that it is

dear god how am I only forty-four minutes in

he boutta die

ah nvm he didn't

lol he someone just called him Raoul I should've just waited

wait he has a brother

I'm so behind

WHAT THE FUCK THERE ARE NAKED PEOPLE EVERYWHERE WHAT THE FUCK WHY AHHHH PENIS AHHH BOOBS AHHHH WHY IS HAPPENING I DIDN'T SIGN UP FOR THIS

I can't omg I really really want to stop watching this movie but I must continue... it's hard though

I don't get why these dudes are fighting

I'm so done with this movie

what is this bitch doing with her tounge

wait, Christine?

she's fucked up lol

god she's so creepy here

why is everyone in this movie so fucking creepy

wait it's not Christine

Rose Velvetlips? The fuck kinda name is that

what why'd he get so angry with her he was the one who was wrong. asshole.

he needs to calm the fuck down

lol he almost headbutted his brother

is this all because he was friendzoned?

what the fuck this creepy dude need to leave these little girls alone

oh my god what the fuck he's so fucking creepy

like for real is he a pedophile

god fuck this movie

I hope he dies

like comeon Ratman pull through and actually kill someone who deserves to be killed for once

this poor little girl

oh my god I'm so scared for her

I can hear the rats

omg this guy is so fucking creepy fucking stop it

yaass Ratman fuck him up

eww I mean thanks but like I didn't need to see that

comeone don't kill the girl please

just let her leave

no don't console her just let her leave dammit

oh thank god thank you Ratman

that'll probably be the only ok part of this movie, the pedophile dies and Ratman is nice to a child

ugh this asshole slapped her Ratman kill that fucker too

let's just turn this movie into him killing assholes who are mean to others who don't deserve it

ewwww I hope they're not really cutting rats tale that's gross and mean

dumb bitch don't touch the fire

ooo I don't like the way he said Christine the mics picked it up weird and it tingled in my ears ugh it gave me shivers like please no

how tf does she know where he is

I feel like he may kill her at some point, like, he thinks he loves her but she'll probably just die

what kind of dr. seuss kinda fucking machine is that

that's fucked up

why do they take so much pleasure from killing these rats so horribly

fucking psychos

lol they wrecked and got rekt

THIS FUCKERS HEAD JUST GOT CUT OFF OMG

karma's a bitch

soooo what was the point of that 'cause now we're just back to Christine

nearly an hour in... suprised I've made it this far...

wow it's so luxurious tf

she's gonna accidentally scare him

ah no he knew she was there

no I don't wanna hear her scream

lol this tune doesn't go with the scene

ewww that face he's making

she looks so fucking weird

I don't like this angle

WTF WHO IS THIS NAKED BITCH LYING ON A BED

OH NO IT'S CHRISTINE AND NOW RATMAN IS HERE ARE THEY FUCKING

WHAT THE FUCK THIS HAPPENED SO SUDDENLY

FUCK THIS FUCKING MOVIE

FUCK

AAAHHHH I MADE A BAD DECISION

FUCK

I WANNA GO HOME

NO

I could've done without that, fuck

what the fuck is the river of time and space

fuck you

fuck Christine

fuck the rats

ugh

I want to die

oh look its that creepy rat exterminator bitch

oh he's gone again

Raouls back

is he gonna go looking for her

ugh take a hint and leave

is that fly fake it's so weird

I never could get fly scenes

how do they film them

you can't train a fly, can you?

I wouldn't think so

oo this bitch found a secret passage

what the fuck is the exterminator doing

where is he going

why do I not believe that Christine is actually good at playing the organ

this is all so wrong

none of it is right

ugh

this is so weird

she wouldn't listen to him and he instantly got angry omg gtg bitch leave him

lol "I hate you and I hate this place" she sounds like a teenager

wait how old is she supposed to be

ooo she just stomped on some rats he's gonna get angry at her

does this bitch really have fake moles

Carlotta you fake bitch

hahaha

she just spit that water on the table

he just called her a fat cow that's mean but her reaction was funny

lol she thinks it's the other dude

hmmm I think Carlotta is actually the only character in this I like

she don't take shit from noone

this dude just walked out and now he's screaming for her

is he dying

he doesn't sound too urgent but I think that he's supposed to be

#badacting lol

but that could be said for most of the cast

how many times is she gonna say Mark

is that dude whos dying named Mark

who tf is Mark

eh it's probably him

uh oh Ratman's a-lurkin she aboutta die

ewwwww he bit her ear ugh stop that's gross

omg what the fuck is he doing to her boob

stop

AH FUCK YOU RATMAN THAT WAS UNECESSARY

if I were Carlotta I would get the fuck outta there

you would never see me in that fucking opera house again

lol her mole is on her nose now

aww her poor boob

that's gotta hurt

Ratman is gross

oh comeone just let Ratman have his way just leave Carlotta

like do you want to die

god how long until this movie is over

about twenty minutes left ugh

did they ever find mark

lol he's goin ham at that chandelier

they all boutta get fucked

why is his hair so long I just realized this

I was so caught up on his face not being deformed

but it's like weirdly floating majestically as he hacks at the chandelier

ugh fuck this

lol Carlotta's face as she watches the chandelier start to break is me

her scream is me

so many people just got fucked

rekt at them

poor them

wait Carlotta boutta die

LOL THAT GREENSCREEN HAAAA

oo she just got knocked over the head with that weird ass statue

how is she not dead

her hair looks funny lol

god Raoul leeeaavvveee

I hate this movie

I feel like Ratman is gonna end up killing her

Christine is gonna die if she keeps doing this

Ratman you need to stop

oh look it's the exterminator again

OH MY GOD RATMAN WHAT ARE YOU DOING STOP

THIS IS RAPE

FUCK YOU RATMAN

oh my god I need to stop watching this movie

I was warned but it truly is so fucking terrible oh my god

thank god it's nearly over

Christine honestly try to leave like idk how but get the fuck outta there

oh wait if he catches her he may kill her

omg I don't know what to do aaahhhh

like I don't like this Christine but I feel bad for her and I want her to live

she's snoopin around, like, be careful Christine

ewww so many rats

he's just sitting there covered in rats, petting rats

lol she is disgusted, she is me

wait what the fuck

why is he taking his shirt off

OH MY GOD

I SAW THAT YOU GUYS WERE CALLING HIM RATFUCKER BUT I DIDN'T KNOW WHY

IS HE ACTUALLY GONNA FUCK THE RATS

WHAT THE FUCK

oh good he got up please say he didn't fuck the rats my lord aaaahhhh

I'm gonna need to see a fucking therapist after this

how did Raoul get there

this is stupid I thought she friendzoned him and got with Ratman but now that she knows that he fucks rats she's all calling Raoul her love in shit what the fuck Christine choose which fucked up guy you want and go, fuCK

oh the mirror

why is Ratman cuddling her shoes, weird fucker

what the fuck does that mean Raoul

what the fuck does that mean Christine

their convorsation is confusing

haha Ratmans there listening to their convo

ha he's crying

god that was a gross, horrible kiss

lol Ratman crying is me @ this movie, fuck

the way this one dude is talking is so bad, like his acting is so bad

why is she just so suddenly with Raoul

god back to this exterminator for a fucking second, now he's gone. WHERE THIS FUCK IS IT GOING WITH HIM JUST PLAY HIS FATE AND MOVE THE FUCK ON

so how is Ratman going to fuck this up

lol is that him clapping? haaa Ratman bitter af

ah theres the exterminator finally fuck

AHHH HE ABOUTTA CALL HER OUT IN FRONT OF EVERYONE FOR FUCKING RATMAN AHAAAA

HE DIIIIDDDD HAAAAAA

rekt at Christine haaaaa

what the fuck Ratman just flew out of nowhere

the dude with the notepad is just following everyone chasing Christine and Ratman and is taking notes I like him he's funny, he's me

DOWN ONCE MORE TO THE DUNGEON OF MY BLACK DESPAIR

he's so ugly

oh goddammit Ratman stop it

yaaasss Christine hit him with a rock, get it bitch

lol it took Raoul like twenty seconds to realize he was being called for

"forgive me" lol you ain't sorry Christine

what the fuck is she just going with it or is she actually going with him what the fuck Christine make up your fUCKING MIND

eight minutes left, thank gOd

oooo are they gonna have a sword fight 'cause I hope so

lol did noone know that these people had been dead and missing this whole time

lol Christine lowkey dying

oh wait Raoul grabbed a gun not a sword dammit I wanted them to duel

yaasss Raoul shot Ratman

what the fuck Christine she's upset over Ratman being shot fuck is she with Raoul or Ratman like I know it's hard for you to chose which fucked up man you want but just go with one

what now they're all leaving together

what the fuck

ugh

I'm so fucking confused

ooo this guy has a sword I hope he duels Ratman

lol Christine is so distraught over leaving Ratman, like, a) why and b) if you really wanted to get to him you should just fucking jump in the water and swim to him, or can you not swim? fuck

lol he got shot rekt at him

the rats are angry

he's retaliating

wait he just got shot again

how is he still up and running

and he just got stabbed

how is he still going

lol obviously she likes Ratman more Raoul should just dump her ass in the river and get outta there quicker

they've barely gotten anywhere, like I said, dump her ass

how is he still alive

they're calling for eachother

he wants her back

tell Raoul to turn around or dUMP HER ASS IN THE RIVER

like seriously, again, can she not swim?  did I miss something??

ahaaaaa Ratman just got stabbed

HE JUST FELL SO DRAMATICALLY INTO THE WATER HAAAAA

lol his ring fell off her finger what kinda stupid ass symbolism shit

I think the rats are crying

it ended on her crying

wait now there are shots of the theater. like I care.

I think someone was talking but I wasn't listening lol oh well

thank gOD this stupid fucking movie is over. I just wasted so much time that could've been put to use doing something better, like feeding birds, or doing charity work, or watching the 25th anniversary edition

I’ve yet to read the book (I just got it so I’m going to soon) but I really hope that it’s nothing like this

tbh I think Love Never Dies was better and Christine fucking dies in that one

k bye movie I’m gonna go do something productive thanks for the uncomfortable time

*ALSO I just wanted to quickly add that I saw that there was a mask pictured on the movies poster but I didn’t see one mask in this movie so like, yeah, fuck you movie

[tieflinglich]

so when i managed to sleep it was fuckin weird. it was like bloodborne but it was all modern. everything was at night and there were creatures and monsters roaming the town but it was a big modern town, there were just literally no ‘normal’ people around, just us weird ‘hunters’. but there were all different types of peopel and with all different ages and we were just trying out best in thsi world that was dying.

i had managed to convince everyone in the city to band together and help take out these big bad guys, the ones who were ending the world i think? so there were hundreds of us and we all crowded into this really big and fancy train and were all talking strategy and how to beat the boss and what to do next. i was closer to the front of the train but there were still several empty cars.

a pair of inspectors or conductors pass through, looking the place up and down and came to the conclusion that it was pretty sturdy and we could likely use it as a base of operations since it wouldnt really be in use after this. and then there were weird glowing cars pulling up to the train but stopping just alongside it. and i knew theyw ere explosive and i knew it was the boss and his henchmen tryign to take us down but i thought they were gonna blow up as we were next to them but they didnt. they blew up as we left, in a chain, and propelled the train forward faster than it shouldve gone. we barreled down the tracks and i could see the station coming up and the big heavy wall that we were about to slam into and i knew what was going to happen.

we hit it hard and the several train cars in front of us were completely destroyed, and most of us didnt survive. we went from a fwe hundreds to maybe thirty-something at the absolute most. had to wade through corpses and rubble to get to the only usable exit, which was in the empty car in front of us, only to find that the boss and his two right hand men [ornstein and smough, funny enough] were there waiting for us.

this initiated a dark souls-ish styled battle where i had to attack the boss while avoiding his two high class Attack Dudes and a series of mooks he would summon as the fight went on and i ended up dying pretty quick but coming up with a plan. since i wasnt good at the game mechanics i had to cheat it in some way. so the next time i popped in i feinted death when they all rushed to attack and when the boss came in to grapple/reach for me, i pulled out a gun and shot him point blank and killed him in like three hits. his two Attack Dudes were horrififed and fled at the sight of it and the mooks werent summoned at that point so there was no one else to fight. the train was safe at the moment but we had almost no survivors. so i pressed on.

i got to a new area, dont remember how, but the whole place looked like a ruined city. it seemed to be roughly twilight, but everything was ashen and the sky was mostly dark when you looked up. everything up and forward was dark. we beat one of the final bosses but still had to somehow stop the end of the world and we only had twenty-something usable folks to do that. so i turned and ran back to the train [the area outside of the train was completely different and had new thinsg and i wanted to explore it] and happened upon a huge fence that was blocking the path. and i mean it was huge. at least twenty feet tall. it was in front ofthe only way out of the train area and i have a feeling i essentially glitched my way out bc i didnt pass by it the first time.

except this was going to be another deadly hurdle. because most of the people we had on hand couldnt clear it. they were either killed while climbing up or slipped and were gored on the spikes on the top. we lost about fifteen people on the fence, leaving five or six folks other than me who would eventually go hollow or Something and turn against me and id have to fight them before i can actually stop the fucking world ending. and i knew all of this, but i couldnt stop it.

one person who made the climb was wearing huge armor with little wings on the back and he was a sweet guy but i knew he would eventualy turn against me and id have to kill him. everyone else i saw was messed up somehow bc someone had turned them into chickens and tried to turn them back. except it didnt work and most of them were still chickens while some of them were human bodies with the mind/brain of a chicken. i dont know how this wouldve impacted them being able to climb up the fence bc when i scaled the fence and entered the area the whoel thing changed and suddenly it was overwatch in a dark souls style of arena.

everythign was weird ashen cliffs and growths that you could walk around and stand on and navigate but like. i found like three or four widows, two of which had the same skin but were on opposite teams and currently involved in a strange dance with each other, adn the other two were also on differnet teams but had different skins and were in the middle of a fierce rivalry and i was just stuck in the middle watchign it all as a passive observer. 

[bookreadalongs]

It Ends with Us

6/15 Sat I’m pissed I accidentally deleted all my thoughts yet again.

I talked about how it would be great around page 85 if the boy was Atlas at the party. I talked about the socioeconomic juxtaposition between the two guys and Lily are foils. I talked about cute thoughtful things.

102. Ellis. This was just the right book for me at the right time. Oh! I also talked about how I thought of course she’d end up with Ryle, and how it reminded me of the ask Reddit thread “Widows, if your spouse came back to life, would you leave your current SO”? Then, how the responses varied, but what I got out of it was that everyone needs a different amount of time to mourn. It’s hard to move forward after such a great love is lost. OH!

I talked about how my greatest epic love story was two people growing up together, changing and evolving next to each other and as they changed and grew, somehow they only become more and more perfect for each other. It’s epic and a dream because that’s just not reality.

If your deceased loved one comes back, who knows how suited for each other you’ll be anymore? At some point, you just have to live with the fact that someone new is your future.

And I talked about how it started with suicide so I was like maybe Atlas commits suicide?

I talked about how I was glad she didn’t have a secret this time and that maybe Ryle had a secret, but Atlas’s was already known. The whole thing about this book is the naked truth. The gimmick of some underlying secret grows old. I love it though.

I walked into horizon books three times today to read this. I ended up having to buy it. Tia asked again why I didn’t just get a kindle…I think there is honestly something subconsciously comforting about holding a book and turning the pages. It goes back to when I was younger and had so much fun reading. It really is just a comfort. I have tried to read before on a kindle and just am less inclined to read. Maybe that’s just times I don’t feel like reading. I’ve read many a book on this phone right here.

I don’t know.

I just love books. I’ll take them digital. I’ll read them too.

on the beach now. Had to say a few things. Like how one 129 I thought Atlas would own the restaurant. And how the minute he was introduced to now he's suddenly felt like the front runner. It's like the notebook. She found the perfect guy. Attentive. In love with her. Loved by the parents. Loaded with a good job...but he built a house for her. Or a restaurant.

148. I knew it. He fricken owns the restaurant and went to her table because he wanted to know if t was her 149. The broken unfinished heart on her shoulder that Ryle kisses is to commemorate Atlas 156: but I thought her dad beat him up and that's how that ended 167: all that time...she knew that rooftop with a house on it. She searched for the nearest rooftop balcony...for him. Then she found Ryle 158; I thought that was going to end with "just keep swimming". CHoover is predictable in a lot of ways, but puts in some weirdly predictable twists that are underwhelmingly perfect...not that I ever see her twists coming -gotta get that last journal 159. A reward. Like a garden 165...fuckin from Ohio. This book just reached for me at the right time I wouldn't have gotten it if any other book interested me whatsoever today 166: and that is the first time I've seen or heard fuckface used outside of talking about what Rex said 168. Now I'm just comparing everything to Atlas. He was her best friend. He should've married her. He created her perfect day nine years ago by being miserable...maybe perfect is an overstatement 184, frick is this the end of his career? 185: holy snap...I kind of thought it would be the army guy...I just...I didn't want it to happen this way...his brother commit suicide, didn't he? This is why Alyssa was concerned that he loved her...the secret unveils. 188, wow. This is good. Really good. Seeing the confusion and hope of such a distorted situation and mind...I like it 192, at least one chance at forgiveness? At least? Very unsettling... 193, a lie. 202, why do you care about what Atlas thinks so much? Please end up with him. This is my downfall. Believing in past positive experiences over present to predict the future. This is another instance where CHoover is impressive in imprinting me wanting something to happen while still kind of in denial that it will 204, she wants Lily out of a relationship with her brother...knowing it'll hurt him and he loves her...why would she want that? 208, she must've told him. They were best friends. That's the sweetest, cutest thing I've ever heard of in a book...they both came from abusivo households...I love it so much...surely as book lovers read this, she must end up with him, right? All of that after he hit her? People can't love Ryle more than Atlas...not by this point 210, she started counting days like she did for Ryle for Atlas. See, if Atlas werent the better one, I'd just sound so stuck in the past Guck she's talking about loving as adults and comparing...shit 213, when the timing is right I'm holding on to that 217, Deb and Flow from finding memo 218, plz tell me part one was Syle...Ryle and part two is atlas 221, crap...we'll..maybe they won't get along? The beginning of the end? 222, ah shoot 223, wait...plans like that for the future in a book are only to be broken 225, aww fuck. No...Atlas hasn't just been here, cruising. Being perfect for nothing 227, husband...something bad will happen soon. Obviously. Things are just too good. Maybe he'll hit her... 230, IRONY THAT HE WILL HURT HER FOR ATLAS TRYING TO PROTECT HER BUT T WAS BOUND TO HAPPEN I love this because it makes me feel like I need to reread this in a new light. Like, were there any signs? Maybe? Maybe this is just developed? Oh gosh...the back saying sometimes the people you love hurt you the most. Shoot I thought that meant they'd definitely be endgame after he pushed her the first time I thought he found the journals 236, she knows. She has to. Also I forgot to write it, but he killed his brother? Maybe? Lead him to suicide? I don't know 244, ...what the hell...crap nuggets...UHGGG -there wouldn't be this much book left without Atlas coming back though 251, he's so much of your life now...if you break up...I guess she has the business. Where the fuck is Atlas? 257. Emerson and Ryle weird fricken name 260, don't let him blame the scotch 261, oh my fucking God. It's done. I knew it! ATLAS PLZ COME LIKE THE SUPERHERO YOU ARE 264, the moment she cried her mom wouldn't walk away was when she saw her dad almost raping her. This is so creepy 266, of course he couldn't have ended up with her. This book is so positively acclaimed...it couldn't have been if she stayed with her abuser 270. His love for her is stronger than the anger 273, he has a garden...for her. He knew it was for her 274, what a change of events. Him giving her a home, maybe some clothes, maybe some food 278, he's still so modest I love him so much 283. This alone...is she suicidal? This is what Atlas hoped she'd never feel. Something something Atlas because finding thing AHHH IS HE A HUFFLEPUFF? 295, I now see how she needed to be the way she is. She's so brace opening that shop, countering expectations and cliches. Yet...she finds herself being a cliche in the end...she just sees the gritty parts of herself. She had to always be this brace, even now. This could spring up on anyone, this book is trying to say. She was smart in the relationship taking it slow and all...yet this still happened. How? Well, we saw first hand. Kind of. Even now, she's brave. Yet, as always, jaded. 301, "I know he has at least three friends" I laughed. I love it 303, the naked truth thing was cute and good and all...but...with someone who you love and supposedly loves you so much, you shouldn't have to ask them to tell the truth. That's what they're getting at here 304, the ghost in her life came back and she still wanted him. 309, that's why he exited the narrative physically for so long...and mentally Soft. Last time...Ryle was just hard 316, fuck. I just had that moment when I was like AH DERR. She thinks she'll get everything dirty because she is a gardener. AH DUH. 323, I like that. I really like that. This book...handsome successful men can do this. It doesn't matter what appearances they give to the outside world, to their inner world either. Yes. Even if he saw her in such a sticky situation, he never should have hurt her...mental and emotional abuse is next, right 326, yeah. Wow. She feels like her dad because...people can hurt people in different ways. It doesn't make things better 336, yo. Atlas made that decision Wow damn I love this book I am so fucking basic but I'm fine with it 360, me and feeing comfortable at work, then feeling very upset when Jim was sarcastic. Emily said a day later never to take anything he says seriously, but it hurt me. Just putting so much hope and comfort into any one thing hurts when it's ripped out from under you...getting too comfortable is dangerous 361. AHHHHHHHH IT ENDS WIH US DOESNT REFER TO HER AND ATLAS OR HER AND RYDER RYLE IT ENDS WITH HER AND EM. 362, BOYLSTON?! Been waiting for a sick Boston drop that I actually knew besides Mass hospital 367, AHHHHHHH 19:25

373. 1931. AWWWWW If an author loves you, you never die

[viralhottopics]

Stephen King on Donald Trump: How do such men rise? First as a joke

Hes written novels with eerily similar plotlines but how did Trump become president? The only way to find out: inject a panel of fictional voters with truth serum…

I started thinking Donald Trump might win the presidency in September of 2016. By the end of October, I was almost sure. Thus, when the election night upset happened, I was dismayed, but not particularly surprised. I didnt even think it was much of an upset, in spite of the Huffington Post aggregate poll, which gave Hillary Clinton a 98% chance of winning an example of wishful thinking if ever there were one.

Some of my belief arose from the signage I was seeing. Im from northern New England, and in the run-up to the election I saw hundreds of Trump-Pence signs and bumper stickers, but almost none for Clinton-Kaine. To me this didnt mean there were no Clinton supporters in the houses I passed or the cars ahead of me on Route 302; what it did seem to mean was that the Clinton supporters werent particularly invested. This was not the case with the Trump people, who tended to have billboard-sized signage in their yards and sometimes two stickers on their cars (TRUMP-PENCE on the left; HILLARY IS A CRIMINAL on the right).

Brexit also troubled me. Most of the commentators brushed its importance aside, saying that the issue of whether or not Britain should leave the EU was very different from that of who should become the American president, and besides, British and American voters were very different animals. I agreed with neither assessment, because there was a vibe in the air during most of 2016, a feeling that people were both frightened of the status quo and sick of it. Voters saw a vast and overloaded apple cart lumbering past them. They wanted to upset the motherfucker, and would worry about picking up those spilled apples later. Or just leave them to rot.

Clinton voters were convinced shed win, even if they saw her as a ho-hum candidate at best. Many did not even bother going to the polls, which was a large (and largely unstated) factor in her loss. Trump voters, on the other hand, could not wait to pull those levers. They didnt just want change; they wanted a man on horseback. Trump filled the bill.

I had written about such men before. In The Dead Zone, Greg Stillson is a door-to-door Bible salesman with a gift of gab, a ready wit and the common touch. He is laughed at when he runs for mayor in his small New England town, but he wins. He is laughed at when he runs for the House of Representatives (part of his platform is a promise to rocket Americas trash into outer space), but he wins again. When Johnny Smith, the novels precognitive hero, shakes his hand, he realizes that some day Stillson is going to laugh and joke his way into the White House, where he will start world war three.

Big Jim Rennie in Under The Dome is cut from the same cloth. Hes a car salesman (selling being a key requirement for the successful politician), who is the head selectman in the small town of Chesters Mill, when a dome comes down and cuts the community off from the world. Hes a crook, a cozener and a sociopath, the worst possible choice in a time of crisis, but hes got a folksy, straight-from-the-shoulder delivery that people relate to. The fact that hes incompetent at best and downright malevolent at worst doesnt matter.

Both these stories were written years ago, but Stillson and Rennie bear enough of a resemblance to the current resident of the White House for me to flatter myself I have a country-fair understanding of how such men rise: first as a joke, then as a viable alternative to the status quo, and finally as elected officials who are headstrong, self-centered and inexperienced. Such men do not succeed to high office often, but when they do, the times are always troubled, the candidates in question charismatic, their proposed solutions to complex problems simple, straightforward and impractical. The baggage that should weigh these hucksters down becomes magically light, lifting them over the competition like Carl Fredricksen in the Pixar film Up. Trumps negatives didnt drag him down; on the contrary, they helped get him elected.

I decided to convene six Trump voters to discover how and why all this happened. Because I selected them from the scores of make-believe people always bouncing around in my head (sometimes their chatter is enough to drive me bugshit), I felt perfectly OK feeding them powerful truth serum before officially convening the round table. And because they are fictional my creatures they all agreed to this. They gulped the serum down in Snapple iced tea, and half an hour later we began. My panelists were:

Gary Barker, a construction worker from how fitting Gary, Indiana. Gary from Gary is 41, married with two kids, currently unemployed. Graduated high school, never went to college.

William Russell, from Delray Beach, Florida. William spent his working life as a banker in Albany, New York, and is now retired and living in a gated community. Hes 67, a good amateur golfer, physically fit and mentally sharp. Has been married for more than 40 years, with three grown children and six grandchildren. Holds a bachelors degree from New York University and a graduate degree (in accounting) from the University of Illinois, Chicago.

Felicia Gagnon, from Castle Rock, Maine. Felicia is 25 and the sole employee of the Castle Rock Washateria, where she washes, dries, folds and sometimes delivers. She also serves as the janitor. She is unmarried, no children. Graduated high school, never went to college.

David Allen is a roadie-for-hire in Nashville, almost always employed. Last year he toured with both Little Big Town and Trisha Yearwood. He is 29, divorced, with one child. He makes his support payments regularly. Graduated high school, has two years of college (no degree).

Andrea Sparks is a successful restaurant owner in Flint City, Oklahoma. She is 42, twice divorced, with three children. She has a degree in business administration from the University of Oklahoma. Next year she will be president of the Flint City Chamber of Commerce.

Helen Wiggins is a single mother who lives in McKeesport, Pennsylvania, and works as a nail technician (she prefers this to manicurist). She is 28 years old. Graduated high school, no college.

Although they come from varying walks of life and have attained varying degrees of education, none of these participants was stupid, venal or evil. The reader would do well to remember that they were loaded with potent truth serum, which forced them to say what they actually believe, rather than what they thought might be most palatable to their interlocutor. If you, gentle reader, should be inclined to view any of them with contempt or feel outraged about their comments, youd do well first to look inward and ask what you might say if compelled to give the truth of your feelings, the whole truth, the absolute truth, and nothing but the truth. And, with that caveat, the discussion.

Stephen King Thank you all for coming, and agreeing to participate.

Helen Wiggins You could use a manicure. Your nails are too long. But at least it doesnt look as if you chew them.

William Russell I started one of your books but didnt finish it. Ill never try another one. Youre an awful writer.

King Many critics would agree, but todays subject is politics rather than fiction. To begin, Id like to go around the table and ask each of you when you decided you were going to vote for Donald Trump.

Gary Barker After a couple of debates I knew who I was going for. He [Trump] had nicknames for the other guys that really put them in their places. Lyin Ted, for instance. I hated that guy. He always looked like he wanted to yell, Come to Jesus! And Little Marco. That was my favorite. He [Trump] nailed that sucker. He [Rubio] looked like he was about 13 fuckin years old.

Wiggins Dont forget Crooked Hillary. That was the cutest nickname.

David Allen Right. When they all started yelling, Lock her up! at the convention. I knew then it was going to be a whole new ballgame, and I decided to vote for Trump. But I didnt shoot my mouth off about it. Nashville is in the south, but in the music business there are plenty of bleeding hearts. Not like Hollywood, thank God, but you still have to be careful. I started off saying I hadnt made up my mind when people asked me, then I started saying, Probably Clinton. I never told anyone I was going to vote for Trump. Especially not my ex. She would have torn my balls off.

Russell Trumps a businessman who understands business. Hes going to make them sit on the minimum wage, and hell take off a lot of those stupid banking, business and pollution regulations. Its working already. Just look at the stock market.

Felicia Gagnon Most of my customers at the Washateria were for him, so I decided I was, too. It wasnt just going along with the crowd, either. He always had an answer for everything, and he took no shit. Also, he wants to keep the illegals out. My job isnt much, but it pays the rent. What if some illegal comes along and tells Mr Griffin hes the owner that shell do my job for half the salary? Would that be fair?

Andrea Sparks It wouldnt, it absolutely wouldnt. And I admired him for a comeback he made to Clinton in, I think it was their first debate. She said he paid no taxes, and Trump came right back, said: That makes me smart. I knew right then I was going to vote for him, because taxes are killers. Thats why no one from the middle class can really get ahead. They tax you to death. I am making a little bit of money, but Id be making a lot more if they didnt tax me so badly, and why do they do it? To pay welfare for the illegals Felicia was talking about. The beaners, the darkies and the camel-jockeys. I would never say that if I wasnt full of this truth serum stuff, but Im glad I did. Its a relief. I dont want to be a racist, its not how I was raised, but they make you be one. I work hard for what Ive got, from nine in the morning until midnight, sometimes until one in the morning. And what happens? The government takes the sweat from my brow and gives it to the foreigners. Who shoot it into their arms with dope the drug mules bring up from Mexico.

Barker Amen to that, sister.

Wiggins You know, I was torn at first, but when he hired that guy Pence to be his vice-president, I got on board. He [Pence] was so smart at the debate he had with that other guy. He had an answer for everything.

Gagnon Also handsome, with that nice white hair.

Wiggins Yes, he takes care of himself. Nice haircut, good teeth, beautiful skin. I thought to myself, Trump is on the fat side. If he has a heart attack and dies, Pence can take over. And the guy who ran with Clinton, I cant even remember his name, but he looked like one of those guys at the DMV who, when you finally get to the front of the line, says you filled out the paperwork wrong and sends you home.

[General laughter from the panel.]

Russell Also, theres the matter of the trademark slogans. Do you know what Im talking about?

King Tell me.

Russell Candidates have certain codified positions, which form the basis of the so-called stump speech. In that speech, which is about the same whether its made in Portland, Maine or Portland, Oregon, they make their basic talking points over and over. But they also need a simple summation of what they stand for. Thats conveyed by the trademark slogan, something simple and catchy. Trumps was MAKE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN, and it was perfect. Contains two words of great power: America and great. Clintons was STRONGER TOGETHER. Vague. Wishy-washy. Forgettable. Stronger than what? Together with whom? It says nothing. The person who thought that up was an idiot, and she was an idiot for using it. Her slogan might as well have been WERE GOING TO DO SOME STUFF.

Sparks Trump was the boss. Clinton was just bossy, and take it from me, nobody likes a bossy woman. As a business person, I have to use a certain amount of tact. She didnt have that.

Allen When she spoke, she kind of brayed.

Gagnon Because she was trying to sound like a man. That may work in New York, but not out where there are real people.

Sparks Whatever, it was like fingernails on a blackboard. If I talked to my waitstaff like that, half of them would quit.

King OK, since were on the subject of Clinton, I want to go around the table and have you give me one word or one short phrase that describes your impression of her. Gary, you havent had much to say, so lets start with you.

Barker Before we get to that, I just want to say that Ive always been attracted to young men on surfboards. This truth serum is whoo.

King Good to know, and thank you for sharing, but how about a word or simple phrase describing your impression of

Barker Bitch. I thought she was a bitch.

King OK. Felicia?

Gagnon Stuck-up. A stuck-up smartypants. She talked down to people.

King William?

Russell Felicias exactly right. Clinton projected arrogance and a sense of entitlement. Riding on Slick Willies coat-tails.

Allen I hated those pantsuits. Like she doesnt think people can figure out shes got a booty. And shes starting to look really old.

Wiggins Is she a lesbian? I heard she was a lesbian.

Sparks I dont care about that, but her bestie was one of those Muslims. You know, the one married to the guy always showing his junk on the internet. Huma Abba-Jabba, or something.

King Id like to discuss two issues that dogged Hillary Clintons campaign

Sparks Can I just say I ate a whole box of chocolate pinwheel cookies last night? Id like to say that. Then I vomited them back up, because I have to stay thin.

King Thank you, Andrea. Now, if I could turn to Clintons involvement if you choose to call it that in the Benghazi attack, where four Americans, including US ambassador J Christopher Stevens, were killed. Did that play a part in your decision not to vote for Clinton?

Allen Is Benghazi in Africa or China?

Russell Actually, its in Libya. Which the Obama administration destabilized by not helping Gaddafi in his time of need. The man was an asshole, but he was our asshole. Pardon my French, ladies.

Barker Putting the bitch factor aside, I dont think you can hold her responsible for what a bunch of ragheads do. They just want to kill Americans for Allah.

King So you dont blame her?

Barker Not for that, Jesus no. Hey, you should see my collection of surfer mags. My wife thinks its the boards Im interested in.

King Just to put a button on this, were any of you influenced by Benghazi when you stepped into the voting booth?

[No responses.]

Illustration: Leonard Beard for the Guardian

King OK, lets move along. There was also a controversy about Clinton sending and receiving emails on an unsecured server. Something like 35,000. Did that influence any of you?

Russell Speaking just for myself, not at all. Hackers can get into any computer, secured or not. Someone phished my American Express card number and got himself over $1,000 worth of equipment at Best Buy. They should bring back the whipping post for people who do that. It would put a stop to the practice in short order.

Allen Billy-boy, you nailed it. Computers these days might as well be screen doors. You see hacking all the time in the music business. And hey, get real. What was the stuff going back and forth, anyway? Recipes, gossip, Ill be here at such-and-such a time, did you see her new purse, shit like that. Give me a break.

Barker Whats this about emails? What are you talking about?

Wiggins Never mind, no biggie.

Gagnon My computer is busted. It was just a cheap one, anyway. I have to buy a new one, but cant afford it just now. Id steal one, but Im scared of getting caught.

King Andrea, what about you?

Sparks I dont care about that chicks emails. What I care about are the taco-benders down the street with their food wagon, cutting into my business. I went to the police, and they said the taco-benders had a permit. How do illegals get a permit to sell food on the street? Tell me that.

Russell Do you have proof they are illegals, Andrea?

Sparks I dont need proof. Those wetbacks are like bedbugs, theyre everywhere. And they breed. I cant wait until Trump builds that wall. The Mexicans say they wont pay for it, but they will, unless they want American tanks in Jurez and Tijuana. You wait and see. Trump takes no shit. I like a man who takes no shit. If my ex-husbands had been more like that, Id never have fired them.

Wiggins You want a scandal? Clintons on the side of the baby-killers, thats a scandal.

Barker Shes also on the side of the gun Puritans. Ive got four firearms, two handguns and two rifles, and nobodys taking those suckers. Nobody.

King Very interesting, Gary, but weve wandered away from the question. Were any of you influenced by the so-called email scandal when you stepped into the voting booth?

[No responses.]

King OK, Id like to move along to

Allen Can I say something else about Hillary?

King Of course, David.

Allen You asked us when we decided to vote for Trump. Ill tell you when I decided I was also gonna vote against her, even though I thought she was basically OK. Smart, even. I dont go along with that bitch stuff, either. I work with women on the road, and even the ones who are bitches hate that word. So I steer clear of it.

Sparks Whats your point, Mr Huffington Post Politically Correct?

Allen You ought to do something about that hair, maam, your dye jobs showing.

Sparks Fuck you.

King If we have that out of the way

Allen I was in Houston on 9/11 last year, OK? Visiting my sister and picking up some bucks working an Eric Church gig. That afternoon, before I had to go on down to the Bayou and start rolling amps, I was in this little place called Spot Mikes, kind of a lunchateria where they also serve beer. The TV was on, and they showed Hillary collapsing after she tried to give a speech, or maybe she did give it, I dont know. But she went legless and the men around her, probably Secret Service, had to help her into the car. It made me think of something my grandad used to say: woman-weak. Thats what she was, woman-weak. Now suppose that happened during a crisis, or something. No, she didnt have any business being the most powerful person in the world.

King Can I point out that George HW Bush vomited during a state dinner in Japan?

Barker I remember that, but he had food poisoning. Her, though, its like Dave said: woman-weak.

Gagnon I heard she had a bunch of strokes and they covered it up.

Russell She and Slick Willie are big-time dopers. Its a known fact. Whereas Trump doesnt even drink.

Wiggins Kind of a fat shit, though, isnt he? Likes his Whoppers.

[General affectionate laughter from the panel.]

King I want to move on to some of the negatives about Trump, and ask why they didnt influence you. Lets start with his alleged ties to Russia. Anyone care to comment?

Gagnon Speaking of influence, do you have any with TV people, Mr King? Id sure like to be on The Price Is Right. Im very good at guessing the prices of things, toasters and such, and Id like a chance at one of those showcases. They have these wonderful trips.

King Im sorry, I dont know anyone who

Russell You have to stand in line, like everyone else. Live with it.

King There have been accusations that Trumps associates have ties to Russia, and that Trump himself may have financial interests in that part of the world. Hes certainly said plenty of complimentary things about Putin. Any feelings on that? Helen? What about you?

Wiggins Whats wrong with making friends of an enemy? Burying the hatchet? Thats what the Bible says.

Allen Like that song, Whats So Funny Bout Peace, Love, And Understanding?

Sparks Totally agree. As for the oil, if theres more, the prices go down. More miles for your buck. No-brainer.

Gagnon Speaking of that, they had one of those electric cars on The Price Is Right just last week. I think it was a Prius, or maybe a

Russell Two strong men working together. I like it. Its good for business.

King Anyone else?

Wiggins Is it lunchtime yet? I dont know if its the serum or what, but I could eat a horse.

Allen I got something you can eat, hon. Not as big as a horse but almost.

King This seems an appropriate time to ask about certain sexual allegations. The famous grab em by the pussy remark, for instance. And how you can do anything if youre famous. Ladies first.

Gagnon How many women do you think have been throwing themselves at him, someone whos rich and handsome?

[General laughter at the word handsome.]

Gagnon Well, he was, anyway, and hes still rich. Nobody talks about women who go sex-fishing for men, tell you that.

Sparks Also, most women in showbusiness are whores, so whats the big deal? Look at the Academy Awards if you dont believe me. Every woman under 30 falling out of her dress. Show a man dessert, honey, hes going to want to eat.

Barker And at least hes not a fag, you know?

Wiggins Men are men, thats all. They all talk big, especially when theyre with other men.

Russell Sure. And let me point out we were electing a president, not a saint.

Allen Exactly. That sex stuff was just the press, trying to sell papers and bring him down while they were at it. Those guys were all for Hillary.

King OK, but suppose the shoe had been on the other foot, and the press had obtained a tape of Hillary talking like that?

Sparks They didnt.

Wiggins Also, its different for women. The um

Russell The perception.

Wiggins Right.

King I believe you have a daughter, Helen

Wiggins Thats right. Patricia. Patty. Shes the best thing in my life. Smart as well as pretty. Gets all As in school. You should see her book reports!

King What if it was her pussy Trump was talking about grabbing?

Wiggins Thats a filthy thing to say. Also stupid. My daughters only nine. Even the New York Times never said Trump goes for kiddies, and they lie about everything.

King Im just saying

Wiggins Well, dont. Save the dirty talk for your books.

King OK, lets move on to Trumps taxes. He wont reveal them.

Allen No law says he has to.

King What if hes hiding something?

Sparks Honey, were all hiding something. Although I will admit Id like to see what sort of fiddles hes using.

[General laughter.]

Barker Actually, I would, too. Hes got a lot of friends in big business, and they all care more about their money than anything else. Goes without saying. That stuff about how he was going to drain the swamp? I never believed it. They drain the swamp, everyone will see how many bodies theyve buried there.

Sparks Not to mention how much buried treasure.

Allen If he does a good job, fuck his tax returns.

Barker Cant argue with that.

Gagnon Besides, rich people dont have to pay like the rest of us, everyone knows that. They have lawyers and accountants to keep them on the right side of the law. They know all the loopholes. Its how the world works. Hes against Obamacare, thats the important thing. That takes more money out of poor peoples pockets than taxes. Its not like the Affordable Care Act. The Republicans did that, and its much better.

King It appeared that he made fun of a reporter with a physical disability shaking and stuttering. Any thoughts on that?

Russell Not relevant.

King It doesnt speak to character?

Russell Of course not. Dont be obtuse.

Allen It wasnt very nice, but the guy pissed him off. Sure, it was politically incorrect, but I thought it was, um

Sparks A breath of fresh air?

Allen Yes. It woke people up. None of the usual politician bullshit. Hannity isnt right about everything, but he sure was about that.

King This would be Sean Hannity, of Fox News?

Allen Correct.

King How many of you got most of your information on the candidates from Fox News?

[Allen, Russell and Sparks raise their hands.]

King What about you, Felicia?

Gagnon I watch Lester Holt. Also Good Morning America.

King Gary?

Barker I read USA Today. They have a little story about Indiana every day, and their sports coverage is terrific. The rest you have to take with a grain of salt, because the coverage was slanted toward Clinton.

Russell What wasnt slanted in the papers was made up of whole cloth. Fake news. The worst offender was the New York Slimes, and they wont let it go.

King I think weve about finished, but Id like to run one more thing by you before we break for lunch. Psychologists mention four basic traits when diagnosing a sociopathic condition known as narcissistic personality disorder. People suffering from this condition believe themselves superior to others, they insist on having the best of everything, they are egocentric and boastful, and they have a tendency to first select love objects, then find them at fault and push them aside. Comments?

[A long silence at the table.]

Russell Whats your point?

Gagnon Are you sure you cant get me on The Price Is Right?

Read more: http://bit.ly/2oP0Ro5

from Stephen King on Donald Trump: How do such men rise? First as a joke

[tumblunni]

Its weird how much the perceptions of queer people can change throughout history

And like i'm not just talking about how widespread predjudice is and how shitty the education is, so that a trans person like me could grow up not only not knowing they were trans until age 20 but not even knowing that trans people EXISTED. And then of course there's how the perception of the word "queer" has made a rollercoaster journey from "unrelated quaint word for slightly odd" to "homophobic slur" to "reclaimed slur" to "so reclaimed that it's used as a common umbrella term by LGBTQ rights organizations and educational systems" to "ok suddenly its a slur again and we dont know if we'll be able to reclaim it this time". And then allllso there's the fuckin annoying subject of how bigots insist upon perceiving trans women as "really just gay men" or "straight men with a fetosh for dressing up", and then trans women as also being the only trans people who exist,because trans men (and lesbians) are apparantly "just women playing at it" or "lol sexy" and somehow can't really be real. Somehow even less real than the thing they already say isnt real. Seriously, wrapping my head around how bigots think is EXHAUSTING!

Aaaaanyway all of those recent issues REALLY SUCK but then they got me thinking about how bigotry was really different just ten years ago, and how fascinating (and depressing) i found it to hear about unrecogniseably different bigotry in ancient history. So uhh yeah lets ramble about that??

Random example that I only remember because I had a Big Norse Mythology Phase in high school. Back in those times it wasn't considered gay to be attracted to men. Like.. Seriously! They still had homophobic bigotry and horrifying lynchings,banishment, social ostracization and other hate crimes. It's just that their definition of who was 'one of the bad ones' and who was 'acceptable' was wildly different from what we have today. It was like.. Not about who you were attracted to but the specifics of the act itself? They uhh..literally had top and bottom predjudice. You weren't "gay" if you had sex with men, only if you were on the bottom when it happened. Because it was "natural" for a man to be the pitcher, but "womanly and deviant" to be on the receiving end and *gasp* actually enjoy it! You could somehow retain your straightness card by topping a dude and he was the only weird one for enjoying this sex you were having. Because yknow the top is just totally imagining he's fucking a woman, so its Not Gay. Somehow.

Like there's a whole poem about two guys slinging insults at each other for five pages, and one stanza is like "i totally had sex with you and that makes you gay!" Taken to ridiculous extremes where he claims the other man is SO gay that he was somehow able to get magically pregnant and have his children. Also they were monsters because why not. But (i shit you not) he adds that they werent even PARTICULARLY SCARY monsters and that proves that you are a terrible man. For giving me a bad lay. Which somehow means you are gay and I'm not.

And like I mean.. I can understand how a culture with so many all-male sailing crews would kinda have to deal with a lot of gay relationships happening, but its just so fuckin WEIRD that they managed to do it while retaining a predjudice against them! I mean the ancient greeks had a similar situation and they very notably went full acceptance to the point even the most LGBTQ-erasing scholars can't manage to paper it over. Not that they were perfect either, of course, there was a lot of societally accepted pedophilia. But then again britain's had a history of that too, plus even worse stuff... Okay im getting offtopic, thats another subject for another day.

So yeah. Weird alternate conceptualization of sexuality. And part of me wants to laugh at those bigots being so wrong, while part of me feels relieved thinking that at least half of all gay men managed to avoid predjudice compared to how common it is in our society. But then i think about how much the "i'm on top so i'm straight" thing is played off in really creepy ways in those mythological tales. Like seriously its horrible imagining some guy raping another guy as a sign of dominance and pulling the "he enjoyed it so arrest him" card. Or lovers selling out their other half to deflect suspicion from themself, like "yeah you caught us having sex but he was the gay one." It's such a weird form of bigotry to wrap my head around, i don't even know if these worst case scenarios would have happened but i'm scared to research more into the subject in case i find triggering stuff like that.

Tho i mean this is just a factoid i found in a mythology book to explain a weird diss poem, like not even an actual history book with sources ans examples. So for all I know maybe it isnt even true? *shrug* i just thought it was interesting to think about and i hope maybe i can bump into someone else who's better informed on the topic.

Oh and also LOL just to add that I totally fell in love with norse mythology cos of Loki,became a huge Loki stan, wrote stupid fix-it fics for LITERAL MYTHOLOGY where Loki was proven right and got all his dead kids back, and throughout this entire time dumb teenage me never once thought "hmm maybe i'm fascinated by the one gay and genderfluid character because i might be queer". What a dope! (Seriously internalized transphobia fucks you up...)