#if only my dogs weren’t so good and I wasn’t so selfish. this would be easy otherwise

[oliveish]

Not knowing whether I actually have something going on with me or if I’m just crazy sucks. It just sucks. I don’t see the doctor enough and I have never ever expressed health stuff. Am I over exaggerating? Probably. Just crazy again. Crazy.

[bunni-v1]

Can I please request a reader that has been so traumatised by what’s happened in the Scarabia book that they actively avoid the entire dorm and have Ace and Deuce as their guard dogs (I love those two and I really love how you wrote them as the readers protective besties during the Malleus break up fic). Like how would Kalim, Jamil and Adeuce react to that?

I find it really cathartic when I read fics that have the characters feeling guilty after what they put the reader through whilst the reader is getting support from their friends.

(Something I’m really salty about in twst is how no one ever holds the overblots accountable for what they’ve done. I full on agreed with Ace when he told Riddle that crying wasn’t going to erase all that he did before the overblot and I literally fell in love with him when he punched Riddle after he insulted us/Yuu/the player. I understand that those boys are traumatised and are in desperate need of therapy and overblotting was the only way for their problems to be solved but the treatment they inflicted on Yuu/us was downright hellish. Azul made us homeless and tore us away from the only family/comfort we had in twst (the ghosts) and then sent the tweels to terrorise us in our attempts to reclaim said home and free our friends from servitude; Jamil kidnapped us, hypnotised us, locked us up in a room against our will, isolated us from Adeuce and took away any contact we had with them, forced us on long marches in the dessert and turned a blind eye to our clear suffering during that time; Vil acted like a literal demon to not only us (and then almost made my Deucey cry) but everyone else as well and that was before he decided to try to murder an innocent teenager. Like why does no one understand just how much this can damage an actual child who has no magic and has been stripped from their home and family?)

Reader Terrified of Scarabia After Jamil’s Overblot

TW: PTSD; Mental Breakdown; Disassociation; Mentions of Abuse; Kalim and Jamil are tragic

Info: Ace, Deuce x Reader (platonic or romantic); Kalim, Grim x Reader (platonic); Jamil and Reader (neutral)

🍓I love requests like this tbh. My own OC sorta has her own grapplings with this stuff that I like to touch upon, and I’m excited I get the chance to talk about it here :) THIS IS LONG AS HELL BTW(like this intro here lol). I had a lot of fun writing it :))) I added a cute, shorter little grim part, because our little guy deserves more lovin’ than he gets. I also decided to do a cute little (read: long) intro, and then head cannons since you didn’t specify for either. I hope you enjoy this style, and I’m sorry for the wait <3

You had been through… a lot in your time at Night Raven College. Being thrown into a completely different world would’ve been enough, but it seems that the great seven thought you needed some extra troubles. You weren’t sure how you could’ve encored their wrath, but you were, and you were chugging along despite it all.

First was the attack from the phantom in the mines — something that should’ve been foreshadowing for what was to come. You didn’t even do anything to be in this position. It was Ace Grim and Deuce, but you got dragged into it all because you were “Grim’s keeper.” You managed to befriend Ace and Deuce though, so it wasn’t so bad.

Second was Riddle with his unending temper and strict rules. Despite everything telling you to just stay out of it, your good-natured heart just couldn’t stop you from helping Ace and Deuce. Nearly dying in the process, you managed to help Riddle and made newfound friends in Heartslabyul. 

Third came Leona, the selfish, stuck-up, lazy no-good prince of the Savannah. You knew he was trouble from the start, and you wanted nothing to do with him or his little lackey Ruggie. Then he hurt Trey, and you couldn’t stand by while he reigned terror on the school. He was a favorable ally to gain in the end, so you could dismiss his actions so long as he kept in his lane.

Fourth was Azul, another student you figured would cause you trouble. With the extra scary Jade and Floyd always tailing him, and that too buttery sweet voice of his, you were determined to keep your distance. Again, however, your friends were in trouble and you couldn’t help but help them. Azul was a broken person, and you could sympathize with his struggles. He even gave you a job at the lounge to help with funding yourself, so he couldn’t be all that bad.

You’d come to dislike the other house wardens out of principle. A pattern had emerged among them, and you weren’t going to fall victim to another horrific overblot. You still had suction cup-shaped bruises on your arm from Azul’s breakdown. Leona had given you more than just a nasty burn from the scalding hot whirlwind of sand he conjured up. The scars Riddle left behind on your face and arms were healed, but they still ached when you touched them. All painful reminders that you could not truly trust anyone here, that anyone could lose control of themselves and hurt you. Yet…

When you met Jamil in the kitchen, he seemed so kind to both you and Grim. He seemed so genuine and honest. Maybe it was wishful thinking, or maybe it was you missing your friends, but you wanted to trust him despite your gut feeling to be distrustful. Could everyone here really be that bad? Certainly not. Ace Deuce and Jack went here as well… so surely… surely…

The alarm bells didn’t ring at all during the dinner, and Kalim — despite everything you’ve been through — seemed so nice, if not a little overbearing. You could see the tiredness on Jamil's face, and you had the kindness in your heart to express your sympathies. And oh, Jamil so humbly assured you that he was fine. Filling your head with little half-truths and ideas that Kalim had been overworking not only him but the other students. That he had been acting “off” as of late.

You saw Kalim’s sudden shifts in personality. How he would be so sweet, so kind and soft. How he made sure you were enjoying yourself, made sure you ate to your heart's content, made sure you were comfortable in your uniform and your sleeping quarters. Then he would be yelling at everyone, demanding unspeakable exercises and work.

If Ace were there with you, he would’ve called bullshit. Still, you trusted Jamil to start. You actually believed he was kind and had good intentions. You believed that Kalim was the real evil here.

Then he wouldn’t let you and Grim leave, and the students were suddenly so aggressive toward you. He took everything you had and stripped you of your dignity and pride until there was nothing left but fight.

Truly, you didn’t realize it was him that was the issue until he was over-blotting in front of your eyes. It wasn’t an unusual sight to you at that point, you’d defeated multiple overblots and befriended these people. You don’t know what it was. The way you’d trusted him. The fact that you felt truly alone without Ace and Deuce. This one broke you…

You just didn’t feel a damn thing after he was saved. You felt no pity, no joy, no relief. Absolutely nothing, an empty void in your chest. Even as everyone around you celebrated, there was nothing. You stood watching everyone parade around with glee blankly, unable to speak to anyone around you. Just listening to the voices that had begun to mesh together.

You didn’t show anything until Ace and Deuce showed up. Something about their faces, the way they were looking over you, the way they seemed so scared for your wellbeing… it made you cry. It made you cry and cry and cry until you couldn’t make any noise and then you cried some more. They had to drag you away from everyone because you just couldn’t quite stand upright when Deuce would try to get you to walk away with him…

The days after were blurry. You remained holed up in your dorm, unable to really move from your bed. Ace and Deuce stayed in their own separate room next to yours. You could hear them talking through the walls about how worried they were about you, how angry they were at Jamil, how angry they were at themselves for not getting there in time to help you. If you’d had the energy, you would’ve scolded them for being so hard on themselves, but you could hardly speak in the first place.

They cared for you as best as they could. Deuce attempted to cook the recipes Trey sent him over magicam, making sure you ate and stayed hydrated. Occasionally you’d hear Azul downstairs, and Deuce would give you something nice from the Monstrolounge — free of charge, he promised. You could tell that he wasn’t sleeping much in his worry over you. 

Grim remained at your side as loyal as a dog and boasting that he’d keep you safe, but you knew he was scared too. He proclaimed that he would keep you safe, but you could feel him trembling at every sudden noise. You had to comfort him from the horrific nightmares he was having. That was okay, though, he was family and you were his.

Ace was the only one who really kicked your ass into gear. He’d tug you out of bed and into the shower as people began to return from winter break. Made you go on walks around campus to show you that you were completely safe. Eventually, he’d been able to get you to visit Azul to thank him directly for his kindness. He wasn’t soft or gentle with you, that wasn’t in his character at all, but he made sure you felt safe enough to return to classes before they started.

They both worked hard to help you recover, but you were still so afraid…

Ace

-Ace isn’t exactly the most comforting person, and he never claimed to be. 

-He’s not good at reassuring people, but he’s good at being honest, and if he was being honest he knew that you were safe around him and Deuce.

-He walks you to and from classes, spends most of his nights in your dorm doing whatever the hell you’d like him to do without complaint, distracts you when you’re freaking out, and most importantly keeps that snake as far away from you as possible.

-If he was being honest with himself, which was his whole thing, he didn’t really get your reaction to everything. 

-You’ve all been through this before, it's textbook at this point. A guy does some shady shit, a guy gets caught doing said shady shit, a guy overblots, and you defeat a guy with the power of friendship. Boom. Done.

-He’d get it more if you were completely alone, but grim and the octanivelle freaks were there! Kalim too, and he’s always seemed pretty nice. Not the best company, sure, but still you had people helping you out.

-When he looks at your face and sees how tired you are, he forgets the logical stuff. All he can hear are those horrific sobs you let out when you saw him and how you nearly ripped his uniform in half with how tightly you were holding him and Deuce.

-If that was too much for him, he can’t imagine how badly it must’ve felt for you. How bad it must still feel.

-So screw what he thinks, he’s gotta make sure you’re taking care of yourself.

-He doesn’t ask you how you’re feeling, he knows it's not good. He focuses on keeping your mind off of everything that might trigger you.

-Reroutes your paths to classes to avoid Jamil and Kalim completely. Sure it’s longer and more annoying, but it's better than you going dead silent and shutting him and everyone else out again.

-He does everything in his power and you’re doing so well… and then the VDC happens. 

-You’re given the title of manager and you’re forced to be around these people who terrify you. 

-Vil won’t budge on anything and sevens Ace wishes Rook would let him try out a little target practice with the (illegal) bow and arrows he’s got in his room.

-He keeps himself between you and Jamil at all costs. He won’t let Jamil bother you at all, not that he was trying in the first place.

-The real issue is Kalim, which sounds crazy, but it’s true.

-Kalim is so… forceful. A pretty strong word, but honestly the only one Ace can think to use.

-He’s really nice, really sweet, seriously such a good guy… but you’re still unsettled by him.

-There are several times during practices that Ace has to yell at him to just leave you alone.

-Sure, it gets him a pretty big scolding from Vil, but he couldn’t care less honestly. He doesn’t wanna risk you having a panic attack because Vil doesn’t wanna be a responsible leader.

-You confide in Ace a lot. How you really want to move past all this, but Crowley won’t provide you with any form of therapy, and you’re just not ready to forgive Jamil or Kalim for what happened.

-He won’t tell you this, but hearing you talk like this breaks his heart.

-You’re normally so strong, so brave, so confident… and now you’re absolutely broken.

-He’s proud of you for putting on a brave face to placate Vil, but he’s angry you have to.

-Surprisingly, though, you do begin to warm up to Kalim. Just a little. 

-It's only when Ace, Deuce, or Grim is around, but it's a really big step forward in his eyes.

-You’re getting back to where you used to be little by little.

-He still won’t give you or Jamil the chance to reconcile, but you honestly couldn’t be more grateful for that.

Deuce

-Deuce is incredibly different from Ace in how he handles everything.

-He’s a delinquent, sure, but he’s a Mama’s boy at heart. Therefore, he’s much more equipped to help you emotionally through all this than Ace.

-Where Ace is the harsh pushing force to keep you going, Deuce is the calm where you can rest and cry your heart out for as long as you need.

-As I mentioned, he makes sure you’re eating and drinking and at least speaking to someone.

-He asks Trey for recipes without leading on to what’s going on and asks Cater for advice on helping someone feel safe after a traumatic experience.

-It’s not subtle, but it helps.

-He handles making all your meals, even though he isn’t the best cook, he absolutely puts all his heart and soul into everything he makes.

-A good portion of his days are dedicated to cooking for you, and he gets pretty damn good at it by the time classes start up again!

-With Sam’s shop closed, he has to go into town to get the ingredients he needs, and then he has to spend hours preparing and serving the food.

-He watches you eat, encouraging you that everything is safe and that he made it all by himself by hand. 

-He doesn’t question why things ended up this way for you, he wonders how can I help?

-And he does help, a lot, more than just with food.

-Sometimes, late at night, he hears you crying alone in your room. He gets up from his own bed, quietly enters your room, and holds you and grim while you both tremble in fear.

-It makes him so mad. Mad that this happened to you. Mad that Jamil did this in the first place. Mad that he couldn’t help more than he already is. 

-Like Ace, he accompanies you to all your classes and makes sure to stay close to your side if any Scarabia students are around.

-He’ll go anywhere you need him to, and if you’re not comfortable being alone and he’s got plans, you’re invited to join him. No matter what anyone else thinks.

-Things get better little by little. You make strides in your ability to be independent again and you’re smiling and joking around like you used to. You even agreed to try out for the VDC with him and Ace… a big mistake.

-He didn’t expect to actually get in, let alone get in with Jamil and Kalim. If it were just that he could’ve been civil, but no, you had to be dragged in too… because that’s always how it works out.

-He has to hold himself from getting in Jamil’s face more than once because just him looking at you is enough to send you into a clear panic attack.

-Deuce does his best to comfort you between all of this, though. Being your shoulder to cry on and trying his best to be your protector… it's just hard. Hard to see you like that, and hard to keep his cool for your sake.

-It's worse with Kalim because both you and Deuce know he means well. You both know he wants to reconcile, but you’re not quite ready.

-Deuce helps the confrontation with the two feel a bit easier though. He acts as a mediator between you and Kalim, and eventually, he’s proud to say he helped you trust Kalim just a little bit.

-Jamil… both of you could use some work, but Deuce is more willing to hear you out on him than Ace is.

Grim

-Grim was there with you the whole time. He understands the fear you’re feeling deeper than anyone else.

-He could just tell something was wrong the second he saw your face. Despite all the celebrations, he was focused on making sure you were at least a little okay.

-He tried to talk to you, tried to make you feel okay, but the only comfort he could offer you was letting you hold him while you cried.

-He could still hear your cries, and they made him want to cry too. He almost did, but he was your guard cat — he had to be strong for you.

-Unlike Ace and Deuce, he never left your side. Not a second. He was there with you from the moment you were unwittingly kidnapped to the sleepless nights in your dorm to the horror of finding out you’d have to work closely with Jamil for the VDC.

-He made his distaste for him very known, sure to make a snarky comment at least once every time he saw him. 

-It was so bad, at one point, that Vil had to give him a stern talking to. He didn’t stop regardless.

-You are Grim’s best friend, the only family he has, and Jamil hurt you in unspeakable ways. He couldn’t just sit back and be okay with that.

-He’s really such a good guy.

Kalim

-Kalim means well. With his whole heart, he has the best intentions… just not the best execution.

-See, he didn’t notice initially that anything was really wrong the whole time.

-He didn’t suspect Jamil at all. In fact, he thought that you were really enjoying your stay in Scarabia, you seemed so happy and chatty up until Jamil flipped things on their head.

-Call him air-headed, but he was caught up in his own whirlwind of emotions at the time. You know, the whole betrayal of his supposed best friend took a toll on him too.

-It wasn’t until you were sobbing your throat raw that he realized something was really wrong.

-The look of sheer terror on your face when you made eye contact with him sent shivers up his spine.

-He knew that look. He’d worn that look on his own face too many times as a young child.

-Believe it or not, without Jamil’s intervention, he knew to keep his distance. He knew he had to give you time to adjust.

-Then a few days turned into weeks and weeks turned into a little over a month, and he had hardly seen you around campus.

-You are avoiding your normal route to class, and when he did see you he was also greeted by the harsh glares of your good friends.

-He understood if you’d never want to talk to him ever again, honestly. He couldn’t blame you. You were more headstrong than him, after all.

-Still, when the VDC came around… he was hopeful. Truly he was hoping that something would give.

-He would talk to you in hopes of showing you that he meant no harm, but Ace or Deuce or even Grim would shove their way between the two of you.

-Several times Jamil had to tell him to knock it off because “It’s not worth forcing.”

-Still, he wanted you to know he felt bad. He felt horrible.

-In a very un-Kalim-like move, he quietly asks you if you can speak with him. Alone. But in a crowded enough area that you wouldn’t feel threatened.

-He didn’t expect you to accept it, he wouldn’t have blamed you at all. But you said yes. 

-You showed up, with Grim by your side, which was fine. He earned some apologies too.

-He poured his heart out to you, apologizing for things that he couldn’t even control. In turn, he listened to you rant about how scared you were, how angry you were, how you wished you were any of these things.

-And after that, things improved. Slowly, but surely. You became more comfortable around him, and you spoke to him again.

-Sure, you wouldn’t be caught dead at one of Scarabia’s parties, but you considered him a friend. 

-That’s all he could ask for.

Jamil

-Jamil is the monster in your story. 

-He’s the evil guy who kidnapped, manipulated and lied to you.

-He’s the one who used his misplaced anger as an excuse to hurt others.

-He’s the boogyman who made you endure days of long and hard training, just because he could.

-Of course, he felt bad. What he did was unspeakable, but he was more concerned with how his reputation would last after the overblot.

-More concerned with it not getting out for the safety of his family.

-Even with you sobbing, he just thought you were being dramatic in all honesty. You have a reputation already, he knew you’d been through this whole thing before.

-It didn’t really strike him how badly it affected you.

-He didn’t notice how you switched paths, how you were never in the same area as him for long, and the glares of your friends never once phased him.

-Even Ace’s snarky comments during basketball didn’t bother him for a second.

It wasn’t until he accidentally bumped into you in the hallway, and he saw the look on your face that he realized.

-The terror in your eyes, the way you shrunk back as if he would strike you. It was the same way his parents acted around the Asim’s.

-If he were a more insane man, he might’ve found it liberating, but it wasn’t.

-He had become what he hated to you, he had done what he hated to you. 

-Jamil was not only your monster, but he was his own.

-He steers clear of you and keeps as much distance as possible for both your sakes.

-He couldn’t handle someone looking at him like that, and he was sure you couldn’t handle the sight of him after what he did.

-Still, this is NRC, and luck is never on anyone's side here.

-Both of you are forced into a position where you cannot escape the other, you have to learn to live with the awful pits in your stomachs.

-He keeps Kalim away until you both are on good terms, then he simply watches quietly.

-He won’t apologize, he won’t antagonize, he won’t speak unless spoken to.

-You two never truly recover your small lasting friendship, but you do make amends with each other.

-During the trip to the scalding sands, you get to meet Najma, whom he’s confided in about ‘accidentally upsetting a classmate’.

-You get to have a good talk with her, and it makes you really realize some things about Jamil.

-You realize he’s just as broken as you, just as tired as you, and that he feels the most immense amount of guilt for hurting you.

-You, being you, find it in your soul to forgive him.

-Nothing really changes between you. The guilt is still there, and the fear still shakes you to your core, but you both have closure.

-In a situation like this, closure is the best grace a person can ever have.

[eggroll-sama]

THINGS THAT REMIND ME OF THE LI

This is purely self-indulgent and just based on stuff that makes me go, “it’s them!” when it’s unrelated to them. But here you go and hope you like it. To make it sound more accurate, I replaced the nouns to fit Touchstarved cast.

AIS

Tyler Durban and Edward Norton from the FIGHT CLUB— “How much can you know about yourself if you’ve never been in a fight?” “Maybe self-improvement isn’t the answer, maybe self-destruction is the answer,” “Only after you’ve lost everything you’re free to do anything.” “We are the same person.”

The song, ‘I Remember You’ from ADVENTURE TIME— “I can feel myself slipping away, I can’t remember what it made me say, but I remember that I saw you frown, I swear it wasn’t me…And I need to save you, but who's going to save me? Please forgive me for whatever I do, when I don’t remember you.”

The punk from FERRIS BUELLER’S DAY OFF. I can just see Ais at a police station, giving advice to a pretty stranger, and end up making out with them.

This scene (warning: graphic violence and gore) from ONCE UPON A TIME IN HOLLYWOOD. It’s just so Ais and Princess-coded

VENOM, enough said.

KURAS

The murder-mystery film, THE DA VINCI CODE. I feel like Kuras would love the movie if it existed in his world since it’s canon that he likes trashy murder mysteries.

The song, ‘No Good Deed Goes Unpunished’ from WICKED— “[MC] where are you? Already dead, or bleeding? One more disaster I can add to my Generous supply…No good deed goes unpunished. No act of charity goes unresented. No good deed goes unpunished. That’s my new creed.”

GONE WITH THE WIND— “Frankly my dear, I don’t give a damn.” This line was controversial when released in 1939 because swear words weren’t normalized. I feel like Kuras, like this movie, rarely swears but when he does, the whole room goes silent and you know shit’s about to go down. Also according to the RSS radial chart, Kuras has low empathy plus maxed out strength high wisdom, damn at some point that man might legit not give a damn-

MAQUIA: WHEN THE PROMISED FLOWER BLOOMS— “you smell weird, you smell like the sun;” “If you fall in love, you will truly become alone.” Contextually the line is about how an immortal should never get too close with mortals because they'll one day they’ll die, and it fits Kuras a lot.

HUNTER X HUNTER 2011—“[MC] you are light. Sometimes, you shine so brightly, I must look away. But even so, is it still ok to stay by your side?” I love the idea of an angel heavily associated with the sun (Prometheus, likes sunny days, radiates heat), finds someone that is the light of their life.

ONE PIECE— “I have seen the future of this country. And it is destruction. As long as [the Senobium] remains here, this country can never be cured, because even if medical technology progresses, even if [alchemical] research continues… there is no cure for stupidity.”

OPPENHEIMER. After I watched the movie all I could think about was Kuras doing the blank eye stare at the end of the movie.

LEANDER

Goob from MEET THE ROBINSONS (he’s literally just child Leander in the modern world ;o;)

Michael Scott from THE OFFICE— “I wanna be married and have 100 kids so I can have 100 friends and no one can say no to being my friend,” “it’s not about the horniness, it’s about the loneliness”

The painting, Death of Sardanapalus, by Eugene Delacroix. King Sardanapalus palace is besieged by enemies and he decides to commit suicide after he learns of the army’s defeat, but not before ordering his men to destroy all his favorite possessions- wives, horses, pages, and dogs. He’d rather his valuables all be destroyed than his enemies own them. King Sardanapulus selfishness is humane, but the extremity’s he would go to keep what is his is monstrous.

GASTON from BEAUTY AND THE BEAST— Gaston and Leander both have similar vibes. They’re both trusted and well-liked by most people, viewed as heroes, are human but are monsters on the inside, overconfident, attractive, has a possessive streak, hangs out in bars, nice singing voice. The main difference is that Gaston doesn’t try to act like a nice guy like Leander Fake ahhh

The song ‘Burn’ from HAMILTON— “Do you know what [Vere] said when we saw your first letter arrive? [He] said, be careful with that one, love, he will do what it takes to survive…Do you know what [Kuras] said when [he] read what you’d done? [He] said, you’ve married an Icarus, he has flown too close to the sun.”

Michael Corleone from the GODFATHER.

Sampo from HONKAI STAR RAIL— I barely know anything about Honkai Starrail, but I was going to an anime goods store with my friend and one look at him made me think of Leander. My friend gave me a run down that he betrays you for money and runs away and unironically I could see Leander throwing us under the bus.

VERE

This scene from the movie, MALENA. Vere is heavily desired by men and women alike, but his flirty and fickle personality is just a front to protect himself. And he hates how people see him as a pretty face or someone who needs saving from the Senobium. Tbh Malena herself just reminds me of Vere’s problem of how being pretty is a double edged sword. People see you’re pretty, so they feel threatened or idealize you. You feel extremely lonely bc people are distracted by your beauty and won’t try to understand you intimately. So you either own it and be alone OR assimilate and have friends. Vere is the former.

Madonna-Whore Complex. This article explains it pretty well, “The Madonna Whore Complex (MWC) is a psychological complex often perpetuated by heterosexual, cisgender males which places women into two categories the “Madonna, a woman who is pure, virtuous, and nurturing, or a “Whore,” a woman who is deemed as overly sexual, manipulating, and promiscuous. The dichotomy of MWC creates a rigidity that limits women’s sexual expression, agency, and freedom by defining their sexuality into one of two categories.” Vere is the latter.

Ymir from ATTACK ON TITAN. Both of them were self-proclaimed deity, was caught lying (presumably), and paid for it. Their personalities are similar too except Vere masks himself through innuendos.

The song, ‘The Red Means I Love You’ by Madds Buckley— “The red on my face is matching you. And goodness, you're bleeding, what a wonderful feeling. You're down and you're pleading, my head is just reeling. The red means I love you. Tasting your blood means I love you.” (I can’t see Vere becoming a yandere because he’s already deranged)

MHIN

Another line from ONE PIECE —“Someday I will become too much of a burden. Someday you’ll betray me and cast me aside.”

SHUTTER ISLAND— “What would be worse, to live as a monster or die as a good [person]?” Mhin hates monsters ironically since they are one, and I could see them nearing the time limit where their curse becomes permanent and decides that maybe it’s better to die with their humanity than live forever as a monster.

The Beast from BEAUTY AND THE BEAST. I already said this in another post but like IMAGINE THE AU. AHHHHHH

Felix from LAST LEGACY but more depressed.

Disclaimer: we don’t know much about Sen or Elyon yet so I don’t have much.

ELYON

THE GREAT GATSBY— “…can't you see who this guy is, with his house and his parties and his fancy clothes? He is just a front, a gangster, to get his claws into respectable folk…(to Elyon) We're all different from you. You see, we were born different. It's in our blood. And nothing that you do or say or steal... or dream up can ever change that.”

SEN

Unfortunately I don’t have any for Sen. Her design reminds me of Frankenstein’s creature tho.

BONUS:

MC

This scene from SHAPE OF WATER. MC falls in love with a monster and trying to save them from danger. MC knows that they are also an outsider, a monster. Being with the LI’s feels like they were finally accepted for who they are, regardless of their curse, so they can’t abandon them— “When they looks at me…the way they looks at me, they don’t know what I lack. How I am incomplete...and now I can either save them or let them die.” I think this quote can also be interpreted as the players choosing a route, essentially dooming the other players if we don’t choose them.

Famous line from 10 THINGS I HATE ABOUT YOU— “but mostly I hate how I don’t hate you, not even close, not even a little bit, not even at all.” The fact that us as players will keep coming back to them, replaying their routes even though they killed us, and obsessing over them. Yes they suck but we still love them.

This quote from Green Mile— “ I’m tired…I'm tired of bein' on the road, lonely as a sparrow in the rain. Tired of not ever having me a buddy to be with.” I think this quote really emphasizes how touch-starved MC is, and how alone they feel from being betrayed by people they cared about in the past (also sparrow name drop ^-^)

[tenjikufag]

Different.

Osamu Dazai x Male Reader

-this one took awhile! Sorry! Not sure if this is what you thought of but I hope you like it anyways.

-hurt/comfort(?), angst, toxic attachments, sui/ideation, manipulation, drabble (not a concise oneshot)

What happens when Oda survives, therefore keeping Dazai confined in the claws of the port mafia and held within the endless roulette of that life?

-He’s possessive. Protective, he will not allow you any leeway when he has told you something with concern for your safety.

When he thought Oda was going to die, he knew he would leave and that he would take you with him whether you liked it or not- in this frame of mind, he would not grown to know better than to force you into things.

Force you into this dynamic with him, he desperately needed you to live. For as long as he was stuck here, so were you. Of course, his depression and ideation never went away but it was far more volatile and pointed towards others, not towards the harm of himself.

“If you go, I’ll do it in your bedroom so you know the repercussions.”

“Do you really want me to confine you? I have no problem with that, if it means you’re safe.”

Such phrases rang in your ears like a persistent alarm, trying to wake you from the ‘insanity’ he had deemed you had. Why would you want to subject yourself to a danger that would take you away from him?

He thought this was a selfless act of his, holding you close with an iron grip whenever you were assigned missions without him.

You did have a job to do, you weren’t a random port mafia member- you were a “big dog”, had your own team to work with and look over.

Dazai had other things to do, but he became messy with his work. With haste, he would finish his own missions and leave ends not yet tied, strings loose for the others to clean up after him.

Just to get back to you.

—

“You can’t keep treating him like this. It’s selfish Osamu, it’s not fair to him.”

Odas voice cracked, the bitter liquid and feeling of unease around his friend burned at the end of his tongue and eased in his throat.

Dazai has not been a good friend ever since, not that he was the greatest to begin with but.. he distanced himself from Oda and Ango which is odd, but he deemed them too easy to fall from his grasp. But he knew you would be in an arms reach at all times, emotionally and physically he knew he could prevent you from meeting any similar fate to his friends..

“How is it selfish to keep my partner safe?”

Ango only glanced at Oda, uncomfortable with the nonchalant tone that their friend had gained.. Dazai wasn’t the most stable or even sensible person to begin with but this pushed boundaries that they had yet to see from him.. and they’d seen everything. They knew everything. They knew him.

The bar door opened, a faint jingle from the door handles bell notifying all patrons of a new person.

You came into view, warmly greeting your friends and taking the empty seat beside Oda, putting him in between you and your partner. Ango, not wanting to be apart of this quickly paid his tab and apologized to you for having to leave..

Dazai watched intently as you ordered your drink, and watched with hawk-like eyes as the bartender poured it, making sure there was nothing slipped into it or anything wrong with the drink.

“Y/n, come sit over here.”

Ducking over Odas shoulder to hear Dazai better, you nodded and switched seats.

Dazai stood up, letting you take his seat only to rest himself in your lap.. you huffed and tried to push him off but he didn’t budge.

Oda was no stranger to his friends outwards affection towards you but this was a bit odd..

“Oda, how’s the wound healing?”

You poked his chest, he sighed and pushed your hand away.

“It’s fine, not as bad of a scar as I expected..”

Humming, you took a sip from your drink and continued conversing with your older friend, Dazai only periodically chiming in.

He listened to the way your heart beat in your chest, how you breathed, how your skin became flush with each passing drink. He knew your blood was flowing, your heart was pumping, he knew you were here.

You were safe.

You were his.

“Osamu, we should get going. You look tired.”

His visible eye drooped, weighed with the washed anxiety of you not being present. The male nodded, Oda mentioned staying for another drink before heading out himself, leaving to two of you to go on your way.

—

“You were late.”

His grip tightened on your arm, making you wince. He laid beside you on the couch, eyes widening at your sound of pain.. quickly he stripped you of your shirt and noticed a large wound on your arm..

“It’s nothing-“

“Don’t you tell me it’s nothing. You were late, who did this? Where were you? Why did this happen? Who sent you to do that?!”

Dazai shook in fear, it was truly nothing but a flesh wound and would heal on its own without intervention but for someone to dare wound you without any form or repercussions that he would know about?

It was unacceptable.

“What would I do if you didn’t come back?! You can’t do this to me!”

He cried as if it was a life threatening wound, collapsing ontop of you- shaking in fear with your arms wrapped around him.

“Calm down. I’m fine. I’m here, I made it back.. you made me promise, right?”

Nervously, you laughed at your partner.. you didn’t want to deal with being at the end of his breakdowns, this is why you hid these things from him.

You’d become secretive as a defence for not only his sanity but your own.

You had to hide a lot from him since the incident. It was no longer a relationship to escape from that part of your world but instead a direct extension because of how he’s changed.

There would never not be blood on his hands when it came to you. He’s murdered many in cold blood for you, whether you knew about it or not.

He was going to keep you from any sickly dead fate, it was his purpose.

Until he decided he had enough, then he’d decide your fate together.

[maybeitsalivescribbles]

VH - Lost Soul

(tw: it’s backstory time for Vampire Hero, and it isn’t very nice. Lots and lots of torture mentions.)

Vampire Hero was in hell, although not for the reasons Villain thought.

According to his watch, he’d been trapped in this maze for hours. Amid the many gifts his vampire nature had given him, a sense of direction wasn’t among them. He’d tried to punch the walls, but that would have taken too long to burst through them. They were even thicker than the skull that had thought of such a stupid thing to build. What he could do was leaving a dent to make sure that yes, he’d been there before. He had his phone on him, but there was no wifi, so no way to use his GPS. He had very little battery left anyhow– he had emptied most of it to send his wife pictures of bats on his way, which was as far as he was concerned a very good and judicious use of it. All of that was already a bore, but to make the game even funnier, the labyrinth was full of traps.

Full of pathetic traps. The ground collapsed under his feet, rocks were falling on him, all of that accomplishing nothing – but it was annoying enough that it disrupted his concentration, preventing him to find a way out. That was not the main problem, though. There were screens everywhere, too high to reach, and Villain. Never. Stopped. Talking.

“What is good and evil ? Do you know for sure what the limit is ? Good is supposed to follow the law, but is the law always good ? Isn’t it pride to do what feels right ? You think you want to stop me, but aren’t you being selfish by doing what you want ?”

She’d kept going like that for hours now. Nails on a blackboard would have sounded nicer. Not only the words were as hollow as a dead snail, but the inflection of that pompous voice was unbearable. Vampire Hero was seriously tempted to hit his head against the wall to stop hearing anything, but that didn’t seem like it’d work in the long term.

At his limit, he stepped up, his lips pinched, and finally yelled back:

“Four words. Grow the fuck up.”

“That’s all you have to say ? You’re not much for philosophy.”

“You call that philosophy ? I hate to break it to you, but knowing that good and bad are social constructs is not some kind of genius insight. All I see is a kid yelling at me that she’s very smart. You don’t give a crap about all of this. You just want to prove to yourself how very superior you are.”

“Do you think you’re better than me ?”

“The bar is low.”

“Oh, because you’re good now ?”

Vampire Hero stopped dead in his tracks:

“Even before, I was better than you."

He raised his arms and bared his teeth, his voice loud:

"You think that you’re bad ? You’ve got nothing on me ! I lured people and made them dance with me over broken glass. I had them rot blindfolded in animal cages for days until they had to lick their own blood. I had cozy nights with them having a friendly little chat in the living room while I was drinking from a corpse, and they knew that if they broke they were next. I made them starve and eat their loved ones. And I loved it ! I loved all of it ! I loved the light dying in their eyes. I thought I was clever ! I am half the reasons you’re shaking at night !”

“Zdiiiiiiiingbonnng,” made the rock on Hero’s head. He sighed in exasperation and stopped talking, wiping gravel from his hair.

“I know about you.” said Villain. “The hero agency’s lackey. Aren’t you ashamed ? You were a great prince, once.”

“Actually, I never was really tall.”

“Go ahead, hide yourself behind this kind of childish retorts. But admit it: you’ve sunk low. You arrest people who weren’t caught like you and you bring them to the authority, like a good dog. Has it ever occurred to you how much of a failure you’ve become ?”

“No.”

“Then why did you stop ?”

“If I tell you the story, will you finally shut up ?”

“Perhaps.”

“Worth it.”

Vampire Hero jumped over a couple of spikes, groaned when he realized that his jeans had a new hole, and said:

“Once upon a time, asshole, I was living happily in my castle all alone. I was rich, I was immortal, I had everything I wanted, and what I wanted was a lot of toys.”

He glanced around him, noticed nothing that indicated he was on the right path, and sighed.

“By toys I mean humans, of course. I chose among the prettiest, kindest, bravest, and I tortured them to death. I hurt them until they didn't have anything to break. I was good at it. I experimented things that would give you and all of you so-called Supervillains nightmares for years. But, you know. Decade after decade, still doing the same thing – I was getting bored. I felt empt- aw man, a dead end again ?”

He turned on his heels, swearing. That was obviously the wrong way to solve his problem. The walls were smooth and impossible to climb, so it had to be arranged. He caught a rock and throw it against the hard surface with a little more strength than necessary.

“Well, anyway. I heard there was a great conqueror who wanted the world. I made my first travel since decades, by curiosity. I wanted to see by myself who could challenge me.”

“And you fought him and you lost ?”

“I told you to shut up. I met her, and not long after I was her lucky, lucky husband. I never had her ambition, but of course I supported her. She encouraged my own little hobby in return, so I became her special torturer. My life was even more perfect, and there was this void inside me, and I hated it, and I didn't understand it. And what happened happened. I tortured the wrong person.”

“Define wrong ?”

“It was the daughter of a vampire hunter.”

“A poor choice.”

“Yeah, tell me about it. The guy was really good at his job. He was already pissed off because of the world-conquering plan, but after I did that, well, he cursed my wife and I – oh, enough with this.”

Punctured by rock impacts, the wall in front of him wasn’t so smooth anymore. Vampire Hero took a run-up, jumped and landed on the top of it. He had a nice view on the labyrinth now. For the first time, he took the right direction.

“ That’s cheating,” complained Villain.

“I don’t care.”

“What then ?”

“What then ? I had a bad century. The hunter couldn't kill me, so he drank my blood to prolong his own life and tortured me. He got good at it, too. I felt what I’d made the others feel, but only at first – after ninety years it was back to nothing. I was 300 years old and reality was fading. I was a leech. I hadn’t made a thing for myself.”

“You mean you went soft because of a little torturing?”

“No. I got old. When you have a couple of centuries, this torture-people-to-death shit doesn’t have the same kind of kick anymore. You try to get creative, but it doesn’t help. You feel nothing. So there’s nothing else you can do but stop. And speaking of stopping, it’s your turn.”

Vampire Hero was now at the center of the labyrinth. He jumped to a silver door, decided he was too done with the whole thing to use the knob, and broke it open.

Villain turned towards him, a small smile on her face, and opened her arms in a welcome gesture:

“Behold, vampire ! This room have been made of silver walls and floor. You won’t be able to enter without squirming in agony and -

Vampire Hero stepped in. Villain braced herself for his cries of pain, but there was none. He still looked bored out of his mind. There was a long silence.

“That’s – that’s not possible.”

Hero laughed. A slow, sinister laugh that made Villain’s eyes open wide.

“What are you ?” she whispered. “You can’t be a vampire. You should be crawling on the ground.”

“Don’t you listen ? I told you I’ve been tortured for decades. You know what an immortal body does when it regenerates back for the hundredth time ?"

He pointed to himself. There was a subtle change in his appearance. He still looked like his unimpressed self, but his usual lightness was replaced by something much darker. It was his eyes. Staring into them was like gazing into some horrible, nameless abyss. There was nothing human about them. They could only belong to some ghastly creature who'd lived centuries, not particularly nice ones.

Vampire Hero chuckled, and Villain shuddered.

"It gets tougher," he only said. "I’ve lost touch and taste. I feel nothing. Nor warmth or cold, and certainly not pain. My body is cut from the outside world. There's not much that feels real to me. You know what it is?”

He walked towards Villain, who took a step back and said:

“I hope you realize you’re monologuing yourself.”

“Habits die hard. I want to go back tonight and kiss my wife on the top of her head, just in the middle. It’s our habit. That’s all that matters. If I have to be on this side to support her, so be it. I don’t care about evil or good, and it won’t prevent me to eat your vocal chords if you’re off again. So, are you going to keep talking or finally shut the hell up ?”

“You know what, I think I’m good.”

*

Vampire Hero is a recurring character. His job is to troll current villains. Check the Vampire Hero Masterlist or Tag for more snippets with him.

Or back to Hero x Villain Masterlist.

[goatanarchy]

Confession

Notes: hurt and comfort, erotic, Warden/Duncan, Warden is he/they!, AU where Duncan doesn't die and is a companion because I want to, probably very OOC but who cares.

When he let his wardens go that morning, he knew the risks, he did. To rescue the queen right from under the gaze of her father was no easy fit. But when only the queen and Alistair came back, Duncan’s heart sank. 

Arl Eamon didn’t let him go to Fort Drakon - so he swallowed his anger and waited. If Duncan too gets caught, he said, the political unrest it would cause would destroy all the hard work they put into this endeavor. Loghain would call him a cowardly deserter and a traitor for not dying at Ostagar. So be it, Duncan thought, he could be a deserter if it meant his wardens were to live. If Sarikh was to not be hurt again… 

They were brought back in the end and yet Duncan still felt helpless. Sarikh's deathly pale figure reminded him of a paper doll ready to softly fall onto the ground at any moment. And Duncan’s hands were in such a tight grip they’d bleed if it weren’t for the gloves he was wearing.

“Don’t worry the cell wasn’t too bad and the guards didn’t do anything bad either…” - the mage smiled meekly at him.

“I’d worry more about what our dog did to the guards, really. Those bites are going to be healing for a while.” - Alistair half joked, but there was an awkward guilt in his eyes. The kind that eats you up slowly like a caterpillar eating a leaf. Before Duncan could form a comprehensive response Sarikh was taken away from him to be doted on by Wynne. It was probably for the best, they needed to heal and rest. 

He spent that day discussing preparations the group needed to make before the Landsmeet… well he tried. Truly, he couldn’t care less for any of the nobles or their little quirks and anxieties at this moment. When Ferelden was being consumed by the Blight all they did was bicker and fight each other. What use were they to the people?  “Your mind is wandering today, my friend.” - Riordan told him as they left the Arl Eamon’s chambers.

“What makes you think so?”

“You have been sighing like an orlesian duchess that has been stood by her lover on a rainy afternoon.”

Duncan raised an eyebrow turning to the warden. Riordan only shrugged in return.

“I counted at least 10 sighs. I think even the Arl has noticed your ailment.”

“It seems you weren’t paying much attention either then.” - Duncan let out a tired laugh and looked out to the window under the ceiling. The sun had already set and he could barely see the moon shining sickly behind the clouds.

“Ahh, all of that political bullshit is the same everywhere. I am more worried about the Archdemon.” 

Riordan looked at the moon as well.

“I assume you still haven’t told Alistair and Sarikh about how we need to slay it.” - the warden said. The statement weighed heavily in the air and Duncan let out another sigh.

“Ah, eleven now.”

“It seemed much easier before I- well I-...” - Duncan tried to explain, but words got stuck in his throat. Before he… “what”? He was too soft? Too selfish? Before he loved too much? He felt Riordan’s hand pat his shoulder.

“It is alright, friend. You don’t have to do it if you can’t. I can talk with them after the Landsmeet.”

Duncan closed his eyes and swallowed. The thought of his wardens finding out from someone else made him feel disgusted.

“No. It would not be fair to either of them.”

“Ah, I understand.” - Riordan smiled sadly. - “Well, then, I will leave it to you.”

Duncan gave him a short nod and sighed again.

“That is twelve now.” - Riordan teased as he was leaving for his room. - “You might want to get that checked with your healer.”

Duncan let out a groan.

“Oh, for Maker’s sake, Riordan.”

—

He couldn’t help it. 

Instead of going to sleep Duncan kept wandering around the dimly lit halls of the estate. There was nothing good waiting for him in the Fade anyway. 

Genevieve would probably call him childish if she could see him right now, spoiled even. Or, perhaps, she would just give an iron cold stare and silently sit somewhere in the corner, judging. As a warden it was his duty to be in best shape. To be ready to jump to fight the darkspawn hordes at any moment… not to count how many dogs there were in the frescoes of the main hall.

Duncan leaned his forehead on one of the supporting beams in the hall that had a remarkably realistic mabari etched into it and almost sighed again, but caught himself in the middle and scoffed.

“I shouldn’t bother him right now. He is resting.” - the man whispered. He stared at the dog for a few minutes before giving it a little pat.

“You are well mannered, sir. If only Tiger was as quiet as you are.” - he said to the dog.

“...”

“What am I doing here, acting like a fool, hm?” 

“...” 

Once again it was deathly quiet. Maybe Duncan could take a page out of Oghren’s book and drink himself to sleep…. Tempting.

Duncan wasn’t sure how long he was standing there feeling oh, so silly about himself. He finally decided to just go back to his room, so that at least no one else would accidentally see this embarrassment. But as he turned his gaze to the stairs he saw a ghostly shape on the other side of the hall. It was moving past him slowly and silently, clearly not wanting to be heard. Duncan ducked behind the beam and took a closer look at it, thinking it to be a maid maybe, but then realized the person was covering themselves in a thin white blanket from head to toe. Duncan couldn’t see who it was but he did feel a faint presence of the darkspawn… A warden.

“Sarikh?” - Duncan called before even thinking it could be anyone else. The person jumped and made a sharp turn to the source of the sound. And lo and behold it was indeed Sarikh’s surprised face sticking out of the blanket. Good. Because if it was anyone else Duncan would have died of shame.

“D-duncan?” - They whispered loudly in return. Duncan came out from behind the beam under the faint light of the torches. Sarikh immediately ran to him but stumbled over their own blanket and fell forward.

“Oof! Sorry!” - the mage apologized as Duncan swept him into a hug preventing the fall.

“Are you alright?” - the man asked with a chuckle.

“I am now.” - Sarikh said with a smile. Their voice barely a whisper, but to Duncan it was as sweet and clear as the sound of a creek in a summer grove.

"You know, the blanket really doesn't help your stealth."

"Oh well, it is still very fun though. I am haunting the estate."

"Scaring all the maids." - Duncan smiled and lightly tugged on the blanket to pull it down off Sarikh, who didn't protest and only hugged Duncan closer. They had no shoes and were only wearing a nightshirt barely reaching their knees. He shivered from the thought of having his feet bare on stone at this time of the year. There weren't any new scars or bruises, so the healing magic must have worked well.

"What are you doing here so late?" - he asked, wrapping Sarikh back into the blanket. - "I thought you were recovering after the escape."

"Oh, um…" - they hesitated, a visible blush on their cheeks. - "I was… I am… I slept all day and now I'm… hungry. I don't think Wynne expected me to be awake so quickly. She was asleep in the chair near the bed." 

"So you sneaked away to catch a cold instead of asking. What if you got hurt?"

"I didn't want to bother, she needs rest too." - Sarikh mumbled with visible disappointment in their voice. But as they caught Duncan's worried gaze, they softened.

"I am not that fragile you know."

Duncan could only sigh in defeat.

"That is true, yes." 

But I might be, he almost said and cringed at his own thoughts. Sarikh wasn't even injured and he felt his heart would run off and wither any moment now. It had been so long since he cared about someone so deeply. 

It was all too easy to bury a warden when you both have promised to give away your whole lives for the blight. How does he keep his cool now? When he doesn’t want to die anymore… A cold touch of Sarikh’s hands on his cheeks brought Duncan back to reality.

“You are a mess.” - the mage stated. Soft and without accusation. Their red eyes pierced his every thought.

“And you are not?” - the man said back lightheartedly. Sarikh laughed and pinched both of Duncan’s cheeks. 

“Well, right now - I am very hungry. And I would really love not to be.”

“How about we haunt the kitchen together then? I could do all the sneaking.”

“Hmm, maybe….” - Sarikh said as if he was deep in thought on such an important decision. “The cook is… very intense. I wouldn’t want to get scolded by her.” - they continued and then nodded in agreement. - “Yes, you do the sneaking.”

Duncan took their hands off his cheeks and placed a tiny kiss on the knuckles, which made Sarikh giggle, their face flushed.

“It will be an honor to steal some soup for you.”

—

Together, they sneaked into the dining hall. There wasn't anyone to hide from, not really, but Duncan enjoyed leading Sarikh on their little heist. They would get to hold hands and whenever the shadows from the dim lit torches would move a little too fast Duncan would pull them both into a dark corner to shield Sarikh by hugging them, obviously, from an imaginary guard passing by. Sarikh would only laugh at him quietly and Duncan would feel their warm breath tickling his chest. Truly, love turned them both into fools.

There was no one in the dining hall either. 

 “And that's how you sneak.” - Duncan proudly announced.

“Those imaginary guards are certainly none the wiser now.”

Duncan motioned for Sarikh to wait and disappeared into the kitchen. Sarikh climbed onto one of the chairs, put their feet up as it got too cold and wrapped himself in the blanket as much as he could. They really should have at least put the shoes on but the hunger got the best of him. Being a maleficar one should never ignore their appetite. Constant blood spilling comes at a cost.

Before they got too comfortable though, a bowl of soup and a sizable chunk of bread was put in front of him. 

"Woah!" - The mage exclaimed, not anticipating Duncan to be back so soon. He looked up and saw him looming over with a chunk of cheese and an apple in one hand. 

"How did you?- That was so fast!" 

"Trade secrets" - Duncan smiled and bit into the apple. He winced for a moment as he wasn’t expecting it to be bitter, but continued to eat it anyway and sat down on the chair next to Sarikh.

"Ah, you do have the most nimble of hands." - Sarikh stated casually.

Duncan choked on the apple.

"Eat. Your. Soup." - Duncan hid his burning cheeks behind the apple but his usually firm and confident tone cracked under Sarikh's teasing.

“Hee-hee. I am not wrong.” 

Sarikh gave a little sniff to the bowl’s contents. It smelled hardy and the broth was pretty chunky with all the meat and vegetables in it. The only problem was that the soup was obviously cold. So they put their hands around it and a warm orange glow grew under the skin that touched the bowl. Half a minute passed and Duncan could feel the smell of the hot broth all around them. It made him yearn for soup even though he just had supper a few hours ago and was snacking on other things. There can never be too much good broth out there. 

Sarikh gobbled up the bread and soup like there was no tomorrow. Duncan wasn't sure they were even chewing, but he did feel relieved seeing them eat with a healthy appetite.

“They didn't… feed you there did they?” - he asked after mulling his anxieties over for a bit. Sarikh finished drinking and let out a satisfied sigh.

“Nope. They thought I’d bewitch them if they got too close. I would probably bite their fingers off instead though.”

“Always exceeding the expectations.”

“Mhm.” - they smiled and moved their bowl to Duncan. It still had some soup left in it.

“Here you go. I know you wanted some too.” 

“No, you need it more.” 

“I’m full. Besides, You can always sneak back in if it's not enough, right?”

Duncan sighed and gave Sarikh a look but finished the rest of the soup nonetheless. It was warm and hearty and he almost felt normal again.

As Sarikh propped his cheek and leaned on the table, he studied Duncan’s face with a soft gaze. He had the eyes of someone who should have collapsed a long time ago, dark and heavy and tired. Wrinkles were growing on his forehead from all the worries he was trying to hide. Not at all the brave and stoic Warden Commander he was when they only met.  Still, he was softer than before, more honest, with crow feet proudly showing off how much he laughed and smiled now.

“So what were you doing here in the middle of the night?” - Sarikh booped Duncan’s nose and he averted his gaze shyly.

“Oh. I uh- um. I was counting dogs on the walls.”

“How many did you find?”

“Around a dozen.”

“A good amount of dogs.” - Sarikh nodded in agreement and let out a big silent yawn. 

Duncan stood up and offered his hand to Sarikh.

“We should really go to bed now.” 

Sarikh took his hand - warm and weathered, but hesitated to stand up, their cheeks turning red again as they looked at Duncan.

“We should but umm… can I-... can I sleep with you tonight?”

They felt his grip get firmer and suddenly they were up in the air and then in Duncan’s arms.

“Wah!” - Sarikh gasped in surprise. Smug, Duncan whispered into their ear. - “As if that is even a question.”

As cheesy as it was, it made their heart beat faster. Sarikh nestled their head on Duncan’s shoulder and let themself be carried out of the dining hall.

“Good. Because I don't want to sneak back past Wynne and Morrigan and Shale who probably knows I left anyway.”

“Everyone was worried about you.”

“I know…” - Sarikh said, feeling guilty. - “Would it be too bad to say that it makes me happy that you all were?” 

Duncan let out a soft laugh and readjusted the weight in his hands to hold Sarikh closer.

“Only if you promise to not make getting caught a habit.” 

~~~

The bedroom was lit only by a tiny flame of an old candle. Duncan stood by the bed, letting Sarikh take off his armour for him. And even though he would have to put it back on in a few hours, he let Sarikh take the time to slowly untie the tabard. To loosen the leather clasps of the metallic shoulder pads for him. To carefully take it off. This way the day didn’t have to end so soon for them.

Tomorrow, I will tell him about the Archdemon. Duncan thought, lost in his own head. I will. Another sigh must have escaped him because he heard Sarikh say: “Is everything alright? Are you still worried about that whole prison escape?” 

Duncan was now sat down onto bed and Sarikh took his boots off and then neatly folded everything by the bed, where Duncan could easily access the armor at any moment if needed be.

“I-... No.” - he tried to sound calm. There was a pause between them. Sarikh looked at him and Duncan looked at the almost burned out candle.

“Alright then. Well, I’m done.” - Sarikh said as they climbed onto the bed under the blankets. 

For a moment Duncan thought he might have upset his dear friend with this dishonesty. Yet as soon as he laid beside them - Sarikh was all over him, cuddling and hiding their face in the nook of his neck. It caught his breath. He never felt so warm as when he was with Sarikh. How could he give this away? Ugh. 

The flame on the candle went out and Duncan found it hard to fall asleep. He suspected so did Sarikh as he could feel their thumb rhythmically caressing his right cheek.

“You are not falling asleep are you?” - he whispered.

“No. I’m too excited.” - Sarikh said and Duncan could hear it in their voice. He turned to face them but could hardly see anything but shapes in the dark.

“About what?”

They moved closer.

“Being here with you. I missed you.”

A little peck on the lips no more than a second, burned Duncan like fire. It broke something in him and he pulled Sarikh in for another kind of warmth. He placed kisses on their cheek and under the ear and down the neck.

“I'm sorry, I’m sorry.” - Duncan wept in between. -  “I should have been there with you at the fort.” 

His hand cupped their face and he felt Sarikh nuzzle into it.

“My dear, my sweet, there is nothing to apologize for. You didn't know. I didn't know.”

Duncan took off their shirt to place more kisses on their chest. And in return Sarikh scratched the back of his head, over the neck and down the spine with their nails. Just hard enough to make Duncan shiver. A sharp breath escaped him, his muscles tensed and he bit Sarikh on their left breast. 

“Ah.” - he heard Sarikh sigh in delight.

Sarikh helped him lose his shirt tugging the fabric so that it tickled Duncan even more before exposing him to the night coolness of the room. They didn’t have to see his face to know that he enjoyed it. The way the cold burned his skin and heightened his senses, made his hair stand on ends. His grip on Sarikh grew firmer, he had to have them closer.

Duncan turned them over to be on top, holding them by the hips. He wanted to feel the weight. He wanted to remember that it was real.

“There is- There is something I haven't told you. You and Alistair…” - he said as they found each other's lips. The warmth and softness of their kiss almost made him drunk.

“What is it my dear?”

Duncan’s breath faltered as he tried to put his thoughts into words and fight back his own tears. He didn’t want to die. But he didn’t want his friends to die either. It wasn’t fair how they always had to choose.

“You don't have to say it if you aren't ready yet.”

“You could make me.”

“It won't be fair to either of us.”

Duncan embraced them again, hot tears streaming down his face and onto Sarikh’s shoulder. 

“I adore you, you know.” - he pleaded this and many more sweet words to them. He didn't know what he was saying anymore, he might have confessed right at that moment that a sacrifice is needed for the archdemon to be slain but couldn't remember, overtaken by desperate need to hold and be held. 

In the end Sarikh could only stroke Duncan’s hair and listen.

[residents-of-the-darkforest]

Early Patrol (short story)

Aldereyes blinked open his eyes, yawning. Then he felt the chill air, and gazed out of the den to see that the sun was still very low in the sky. The dawn patrol wouldn’t be sent out for a while yet. What had woken him up?

A kick to the side told him the answer. He shifted away from the pressure and looked over to see Fallendust in the nest beside him. She was twitching in her sleep, mumbling and furrowing and un-furrowing her brows. 

Aldereyes turned so that his back was to her, and tried to go back to sleep. He was drifting away, nearly back to the pine trees and water voles when he was kicked again. Grumbling, he stood up and padded the few steps over, then gently nudged Fallendust awake.

“I don’t have patrol,” she mumbled, burrowing her face into the moss. 

Neither do I, Aldereyes thought. He nudged her again, this time whispering her name. She closed her eyes tightly, then opened them, staring up at Aldereyes with a glaze. “Wha?”

“You were kicking in your sleep.”

“Oh..sorry.” She moved to place her legs beneath her. Her eyes barely looked at him, staring off into the distance. Something told Aldereyes that it wasn’t simply due to exhaustion. 

“Come on,” he said, nodding toward the den entrance. When she looked confused, he nodded again and began to walk out. Outside, he waited still for a few heartbeats, beginning to feel like she would ignore him. Then he heard soft pawsteps, and a moment later she was standing beside him. Her fur stuck out in random places. Aldereyes guessed he looked the same, only with more flat fur on one side as he hadn’t been moving.

“Too early for pa–” Fallendust began to say when a massive yawn interrupted her.

“Yeah,” Aldereyes agreed. “But I figured you needed to move your legs. They were restless.”

Fallendust looked down at her paws. “Maybe.”

“I’ll go with you,” Aldereyes offered, and began to walk away toward the camp entrance. Fallendust followed more slowly, but that slowness quickly dissipated as the chilly air woke them up. 

“Now what?” she asked when they were outside. 

Aldereyes shrugged. “We can hunt, run. Whatever you want to do. Or talk.” He didn’t care that much about Fallendust. He wasn’t indifferent toward her, and did care about her as a Clanmate and fellow warrior, but as friends they weren’t close, and that made it easier for Aldereyes to offer comfort when he didn’t worry every second that he was saying the wrong thing. Besides, his new relationship with Myrtlewing was making him feel admittedly giddy, and because of that more willing to help others.

“Talk to stretch my legs?” Fallendust huffed a singular laugh.

“Or soothe your mind.” He himself had kicked enough times in his sleep, particularly in his apprentice days, to know that it’s not always the body that is restless.

Fallendust didn’t respond for a long time, standing incredibly still, staring again at her paws. Then she sat down heavily and sighed. “I miss Fleetsong.”

Oh. Her brother. Aldereyes suddenly felt uncomfortable, but it would be rude to back out now. He sat down too. Wondering if he should, he wrapped his tail lightly around her. “We..” he wondered what to say. “We shouldn’t have lost him the way we did.”

Fallendust’s face screwed up. “It’s not fair,” she gasped. Her throat visibility tightened, it was clear how much she struggled not to wail out right there and then. “It was always so important to him that everyone was happy and having a good time. And then for him to die like that. I–I just–I feel like Starclan has abandoned me, sometimes.”

Aldereyes's heart sank. Back when Fleetsong’s body was found, mauled by a dog, he had been too preoccupied worried about Myrtlewing, who had been with him, to notice much of anyone’s grief for Fleetsong. He knew it was there, of course, and had witnessed them sit vigil, but until now it hadn’t set in for him how much pain the death had caused. Was that selfish?

“What was he like?” Aldereyes asked, though unsure why. It was the only thing he could think to say.

Thankfully, Fallendust grinned. “I always thought of him as the life of the Clan, but…maybe that was because he was my best friend. He was the only one I ever really had. Wolfburn has Maplefall, Ivytooth is dead, and my parents are, well, my parents. But Fleetsong was always there, always wanting me to be happy. He was my best friend,” she repeated through a lump. “And he was ripped apart by a dog.”

Aldereyes wasn’t sure how to respond to that, or if he should say anything at all. He decided the answer to the latter was a negative, and instead pressed closer against Fallendust. She leaned into the touch, and they stayed like that for a few long heartbeats before she straightened and shook herself. “All this sadness,” she said, attempting a smile. “Fleetsong would hate it. What do you say we hunt, huh?”

Aldereyes padded toward the underbrush, glad in the change of topic. “If we hunt now, maybe we’ll get to sleep in.”

“Exactly!” Fallendust agreed. “Early patrol!” With that, she walked past him, leading the way into the trees.

==============

--Hey

hey guys

remember her?

remember what happens to her?

:)

--Btw Alder finds it easier to comfort those he’s not too close to, but it can still be uncomfortable, which he is finding out now.

[dirtthornberry]

To all the people I’ve loved:

👩🏻 I love you. I don’t know why you hurt me but I know why you hurt me. You were a wonderful parent but a not-so-great mother. I was a difficult kid but I was a traumatized child. You were a stretched-thin mom but you were a naive adult. You taught me to stand up for myself and what I think is right, even if it was against you. You taught me that true love isn’t always pretty, but it is unconditional. I love you with it all.

👨🏻‍🦲 I love you the most daddy. I wish you had paid more attention to the important things & not just the little moments. But oh my god were those little moments everything. You were so excited to give me those binoculars & tell me about every bird, plant & bug & I didn’t really care to learn their names but I did for you because you were so happy I was interested. Now I want to know ALL of the names.

👱🏻‍♀️ I never hated you for it but it made it really hard to love you for a while; she did it to you so you didn’t know… I love you so so much now tho. Out of 11 sisters and 8 brothers, you’re the only one I was raised with. 7 years apart & you couldn’t stand me the moment you hit puberty. I ache for all the things that happened to you that weren’t noticed bc either mom & dad didn’t notice or bc I took up all the attention. You didn’t deserve any of the trauma. You never did.

🌊 you were my first best friend. I’m so glad you were placed with me & so grateful my mom would drive me the 45 minutes to come see you once you went back home. Every time I hear Ed Sheeran, I think of you. We’ve drifted apart and are different people now but you’ll always be my sister-from-another-mister. I’m sorry it went this way; Ik it didn’t have to.

👾 I was your first friend when you moved here but now we aren’t friends at all. What changed in those years we weren’t together? What made you so selfish and blind. There’s no question mark because I already know. Your childhood caught up to you in ways I don’t think you don’t even fully understand and you got defensive. I’m sorry but I have to put myself first. Like I said though: I will Always only wish the best for you.

🌸 I didn’t like you at first and I don’t even really know why. I’m so glad you didn’t care. I’m so glad you talked to me anyway. I don’t say this lightly but I probably would’ve ended it several times over if it’d wasn’t for you. I have all the confidence in you that you so sorely lack. I’m so sorry for what has happened to you but I love the person your circumstance produced, flaws and all. I miss you.

🥀 not addressing your trauma won’t heal it but you wouldn’t even know where to start. We’ve suffered from so many of the same things and it breaks my heart that we share the grief. I love that you always get back up & keep going. It’s the thing I admire about you the most. You’ll get there baby, I believe in you.

🍁 I hurt you really bad. You hurt me too. We keep hurting each other. But the love is so sweet. It’s tastes like honey and wine. We had an argument while I was at work that made my stomach churn and an employee told me she’d never thought an fight could be so healthy and honest. That felt so fucking good to hear. I could never have done it without you, I wouldn’t have wanted to anyway. I’m so excited to have the life we’ve talked so much about. 4 years in and I hope we have so many more.

🌿 you’ve come so far. Only we know how much we’ve been through but we’re here now. If I had told you that you’d actually have a pretty solid will to live by the time you turned 20, you would’ve laughed in my face & told me you don’t plan to be here that long. But look at you now!! Assistant Manager, getting paid $17.50 an hour, living in your own place with your own dogs and in the healthiest relationship of any kind you’ve ever been in with a man who loves you with his all. I’d say congrats but I know it’s not over yet and there will be many many hardships to come. Think of all the truly wonderful and amazing things we’re gonna come by too. We became the person we never thought we’d be able to be. I’m so proud.

🐾 for countless lifetimes of love and connection. If I gave you as much as you deserve, there would be no universe for us to exist in. Every single one, a few more closely than others, have saved my life. The entire basis for my will to live. For every single animal I’ve every encountered: Thank you for just existing. I love you.

🫥 I wish everyone else the best of luck. Truthfully. I love you. I might not know you but I’d love you anyway. Please remember to be grateful for all of the things, not just the good or the bad. You are the center of your own universe and I’m your biggest believer. Good luck in your travels. Have the best life.

💛💛💛

[butlersbabe]

Good Man’s Land-Cowboy!Austin Butler x Reader

a/n: This is my new 5-part series. An enemies to lovers type thing. I hope you all like it.

w/c: 3k

warnings: none…i think.

Part I.

When you were young, nothing mattered at Mama and Papa’s. An open field with a beautiful, mint green, two-story house plum in the middle of it. With bright purple window sills and a red door with a wreath reading “Y/L/N” in pretty, swirly letters, decorated with marigolds, baby’s breath, and a few other flowers you couldn’t quite name. A big brown dog, Chuck, would chase you around until he caught you, tackling you and giving too many kisses. Life wasn’t so hard there. 

Many years later, your dad said it was time to grow up. To be a woman. Someone who supported herself and didn’t rely on someone else to put food on a table. You didn’t rely on your dad to put food on a table, did you? You had a part time job, you never were completely reliant on her father. He didn’t quite see it that way. He believed you were ready to leave and make something of herself. Thing is, you weren’t ready.

“Dad, I can’t just leave and live on the street!” You shouted from across the island that separates you and your dad. “Y/N!” He shouts, cutting you off, “You’re 24. You graduated college, you’re a woman. You need to make something of your life.” Although your dad was completely right, you couldn’t help but reject the option of leaving home. “Please don’t be this way, dad. I’m not-“ He slammed his fist on the counter top, turning around to you slowly. “I cannot financially support you anymore, Y/N. I just can’t. After getting laid off a-and you don’t have a stable job. We’re only able to keep this apartment because of the life insurance.”

You knew your dad hated to mention that. You mom’s life insurance. She passed not even a year ago. She was in a car accident. And thanks to a highly intoxicated individual, she became just another statistic. Your dad had asked her to get groceries that night. And she never came home with the gallon of milk, a pound of ground beef, ketchup and grapes. He beat himself up about it everyday until not too long ago. You constantly reminded him of that it wasn’t his fault. It wasn’t anyone’s fault. Except that 40 year old on his ninth Bud Light.

“We’re running out of money, Poppy.” Your dad grimaced, saying your nickname that only your family called you. Your grandma had said you played in the poppies in front of the house when you would come over. They were your favorite.

“We can’t afford anything anymore, I can’t afford anything.” He shakes his head. You nod, and without dinner, you make your way to your bedroom. Flopping on your bed, your face finally cracks. You let your tears fall and the day-old mascara ran down your face. What was she to do? She wasn’t getting kicked out, but not without good reason. You had nowhere to go and had to be out within two days. Sitting up and spare yourself the pity, you text your best friend, then a friend from college, they couldn’t take you in. Finally you land on your last option, calling Mama and Papa’s. You hadn’t been up there since god knows when. It was out of state, in the western part of Texas. Fifteen minutes just outside of Marfa. Being from Denver, you didn’t jive much with the flatland but Mama and Papa needed it for the ranch. And you used to love being out there.

Mama and Papa were old southern folk. The enjoyed their, for lack of a better term, boring landscape. It wasn’t as boring when your were 8. Thing was, you were older and they expect you to help out. Which you were willing to do as long as you got paid.

“Thirty bucks a day?!” You shout.

“It’s a good amount, Poppy. Our ranchhand only-”

“But I’m your granddaughter. You should want to help me.”

“You’re being selfish, Poppy.” Mama pauses, “Papa and I do want to help you. But you don’t get everything in this world for free.” She says in her soft voice as always.

“I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be sorry, Y/N. Just understand that we want you to know the importance of hard work.”

“Okay.”

“Be ready by tomorrow and we’ll fly you out.” She says, a sigh behind the statement. “Okay.”

You let your dad know about the plan and he helped you start packing a bunch of clothes. Against your will, he made you pack what seemed like a million pairs of jeans. A few pairs of shorts, a ton of t-shirts, and a pair boots that once belonged to your mom. That plus the clothes and sneakers you wore.

That next evening, you left on a plane to Austin, Texas, where your Mama and Papa met you. The greeted you with open arms and a bouquet of flowers. They took you home, a six hour and then some drive. Arriving at the ranch, it was dark. You step out of the car and grab two of the suitcases you brought, your Papa taking the other two.

Walking up the driveway, although it was nighttime, you noticed the house had turned nearly white. The red door had faded and peeled, the sign still hanging with the fake flowers surrounding it. Walking up the rickety steps, your mama opens the door for you and papa. The house smelled of pork chops, corn and mashed potatoes with homemade gravy. And she was right, all laid out on a made table was the food and some sweet tea.

“Austin must’ve fixed supper.” Mama told Papa. He nodded his head and agreed. “Looks like he did.” Papa replied sarcastically. “Thank you for the clarification, sweetheart. Papa, why don’t you take her stuff up to her room?” Your grandmother asks her husband. He nods and heads upstairs with the bags he had, he’ll be back for the rest. You didn’t know who “Austin” was but you were almost completely sure it was the ranchhand who was some middle aged man with a bald spot who chronically sweats all the time. But he slept in your dad’s childhood bedroom. You would sleep in the guest room, just down the hall from your dad’s old room, luckily there was a window and a furnace.

“So, Y/N,” Mama said, digging into her meal. Before taking a bite she continues, “Work starts at 8am, tomorrow. I’ll be out around 10. Papa and Austin will be up and out in the field before the sun is even up. You’ll find them and they’ll help you out with what morning chores there are. You should be done just in the afternoon. Maybe 5?” Your eyes widen at the initial schedule. It wasn’t really ideal that you’d be given a strict itinerary for the next…however long you were going to be there.

“Oh okay.” You furrow your eyebrows and scrape more mashed potatoes off your plate into your mouth. “Austin is our helper. He lives in your daddy’s old room. He’s a few years older than you. Such a nice young gentleman. A hard worker too.”

“Okay, so he’s a guy who just works here and lives here too?” Great.

“Yes!” Too chipper, Mama. “You’ll meet him in the morning and get done with morning chores, feeding the chickens, hogs and cattle. You’ll wash and feed the horses, we have only four now, Aretha passed a few years back,”

“No! Not Aretha!” You chimed in with a frown.

“She felt no pain, I promise. But we bought Diana, Elvis, and last year we got Jagger from a breeder. They're gentle. Papa and Austin will help you saddle up on Jag. You’ll be riding him most of the time.” She says finishing her plate, “You’ll get on a combine and a couple tractors before this visit is over but I won’t put you on one tomorrow.”

You felt so in over your head. You’ve never done anything like this. You truly didn’t know what to think when Mama told you about your new routine.

“Saturdays are only half days, get up at 6, be done by 3, I’ll give you Sundays off for church and such.”

You didn’t go to church. You weren’t really even religious after these past some odd years but you were going to take advantage of those days off.

“We have farmer’s market days up in town square on every other Tuesday morning. On those days, you’ll come with me and Papa and Austin will stay here to tend to the farm.” Okay, Tuesday is pretty soon. “But since you’re still learning, I’ll leave you here for the first one.” Shit.

“We also need to get you a new wardrobe. I should have some old button ups in the attic. Papa will get you those before heading off to bed. You’re a farmhand now, you oughta look like one.” She scoffs. She’s never really liked your ripped jeans or your big shirts. Your messy hair or your outrageous use of jewelry. “The only piece of jewelry that’s should be on your body-“

“On your body is a wedding ring, yes, okay, Mama. I get that but I will never get that. I like the multiple rings. Helps me forget that I may never have a husband. Which I’m completely fine with!” You interrupt her, getting up and placing your plate and silverware in the sink, rinsing them off and placing them on a towel next to the sink.

“Whatever, Poppy.” She shrugs off. “I’m going to bed. Be ready for tomorrow.”

You hear the roosters hollering through the open window and the sound of hooves trotting the open land. You wake up to check your phone. 7:41am. Stretching, you let out an ungodly sound and rolled off the bed towards your suitcase. Within 15 minutes you had thrown your hair into a low ponytail, put on holeless jeans, a bra, wifebeater, and a button up. Finishing with your mom’s worn out boots. You felt so out of place. You winced at the thought of leaving your phone alone for a whole day.

Walking outside, Mama’s already shooing the chickens into the coop while a dog you’ve never seen chases them around. Chuck rested on the porch, beating the hot morning glow. You spot Papa and the back of a blond head who has to be Austin talk while the horses graze on what little grass there was next to the pigpens. “Good morning, sunshine!” Papa raised a hand, calling you over. “Let’s get you on a horse!” He happily says, Austin turning his horse around to see you. Austin. You make your way over in a hurry, not wanting to make them wait any longer than they already had. Walking up to your Papa, he introduces you to the live-in.

“Y/N, this is Austin. Austin, this is my granddaughter, Y/N. This pretty girl here is Diana and that handsome boy is Elvis. Her grandma calls her Poppy but don’t worry about any ridiculous nicknames yet. Let’s get you on a horse.” You look at the boy and he tips his hat at you then offers a hand to shake. “Howdy.”

You walk next to them while they walk you to the stables. A black horse stands behind a gate, already having the reins and saddle on. “Just go in there, introduce yourself and walk him out.” So, you walk in cautiously and begin to pet his nose and neck. You walk him out, the other horses moving out of the way. “Don’t you worry your pretty little heart about experience, he’s very well trained for a youngin’. Listens well, doesn’t freak out very often. I think you’re in for a treat with this one here.” He reaches over and pets the steed. “Just grab the horn, place the other on the pommel, take your foot, put it in the stirrup and swing the other over.” He said all these words like you knew what he was saying but somehow, after nearly 20 minutes, you get up and situate yourself.

“Now, give him a little kick with your heels, and I mean a good kick but you don’t want to startle him so bad he takes off.” You swallow at the directions, you could kick him so soft he never gets going or you kick him too hard to the point he takes off and kills you. But you do it, and he starts to walk. “Now let your hips follow his movements. Steering is just like a car,” which you never learned how to drive, “And to make him stop, you just pull back, using your upper body weight. And to make him trot, you kick again, and just bounce with him a bit more.” Your Papa says, him and Austin’s horses taking off into a light jog, you following after a few seconds. “You’re a natural!” Austin hollers back to you. Now you were no equestrian but you definitely caught on a lot faster than you’d thought you would.

Papa stops his horse and turns her to you and Austin’s. “Austin, my boy, will you take Y/N around? Let her get a feel for riding. Bring her back in about 30 minutes?”

“Yes, sir.” He obliged, “C’mon, cowgirl!” He began trotting again, but a bit faster. You sped Jagger up but not to Elvis’s speed. “Austin! Wait up!” You laugh, shouting for a bit of sympathy but he continues to get faster with each step. “Austin!” You kick your horse to make him go just a bit faster. “Please!” This wasn’t fun anymore. You kept getting quicker and quicker until you felt unable to control Jagger. “Austin!” Jagger was running for the hills, he passed Elvis in no time. You cock your head back, giving the blond a terrified look. Before you know it, Austin and Elvis are right next to you, Austin reaching over to grab the reins just in time to slow you down before the river bank. “Woah, babe.” He says to the horse, calming him down.

You give Austin a dirty look, “Why did you do that? I

couldn’t even stop him.” He laughs like the situation is some big joke, “A little fun never killed, nobody.” His slight southern drawl follows the chuckling. “Besides, if you held this right, you could’ve stopped him.” Austin reaches over to your set of reins and you pull away, moving the horse. “Stop, I know how to hold them,” You sternly say even though you most definitely had no clue what the exact way was. “I’m just trying to help.” You two bicker back and forth until the horses bump into each other, making Jagger stand on his hind legs, you hit the ground, with a harsh thud, feeling a bruise on your arm already.

It goes silent.

“Look, Y/N, I’m so sor-”

“Whatever.” You huff, getting up off the ground, fully in pain. You take the horse by the reins and begin walking him back to the house about 1200 yards out. “You go back, I’ll walk Jagger back.” You limped away. Austin turned Elvis back towards you and the way home. “Come on, Y/N. I said I was sorry.” He pleaded with you. “Go home, Austin. Tell Mama and Papa I just wanted to see how I’d do alone.” You said through grit teeth. He scoffs and rides back home, leaving you to stumble through the thick growth of the land.

It takes you much longer to get home than a measly 30 minutes. Mama runs up to you and holds your jaw that was already growing a light yellowish-purple on the right side. “Oh Poppy, what happened?” You shake her hands off of you due to the slight pain it gave you. “I asked Austin if I could ride alone and I guess I can’t. Jagger threw me off-”

“Baby! Oh my goodness, I’m so sorry. He’s never done that with me. I’ll make sure Austin goes with you every time you’re out until he’s broken to you.” She sighs heavily, petting your hair. Not the plan but you’d get out of it somehow. You don’t want that asshole around you any more than he has to. “Well.” You heard Papa’s voice. “Get back up there, we have work to do.”

Papa helped you back up onto Jagger and off you went back into the field, wrangling up the cattle into the pens so you could feed them. Some time later it was lunchtime. Mama had made sandwiches to your liking. Papa had a bologna sandwich, Austin’s was a BLT, and you had a grilled hot ham and cheese.

“So, Y/N,” Papa started, “How’s the first day?”

“It’s good. Other than being thrown off a horse. It’s good.”

Austin laughed and your head snapped towards him. “What’s so funny?” You ask, the pressure of anger rising in the back of your throat. “Nothing, dear.” He laughs again, you didn’t like that. “Don’t call me that.” You sneered.

The workday ended at five. Papa called it an easy day. Didn’t feel easy. Things felt like they were going to be tough now. Your dad kicked you out, you have to work on a farm for god knows how long, you’re going to deal with a blond, pretty boy know-it-all. You feel so stuck and out of place. This couldn’t be how life was going. Shouldn’t be.

Your heart was heavy while you sat in the bathtub. It felt as if the weight was dragging you deeper and deeper into the water that had turned lukewarm. You breathe out of your nose, the bubbles rising until your body emerges from the water.

“You alright in there?” Austin’s muffled voice asks next to a knock in the door. “Yeah, I’m just fine.” And you sunk back into the water hoping God or something would change your situation. Hoping you’d wake up in a new place.

-part two 🤠

[supraveng]

Marvelous Friends

Part 10

Summary: You babysit Dodger

Pairing: Chris Evans x fem!reader

Warnings: swearing, smut, mentions of anxiety, Dodger Evans (his cuteness is a warning) I think that’s it

A/N: sorry it took so long for an update 

word count: 3.8k

previous part          series masterlist            main masterlist

Pulling into Chris’ driveway you weren’t sure why you were nervous, you had slept over several times since you started dating but this just felt more intense, you have been together a few months but this felt like a big step.   

You could handle this, and even though it’s been ages since you had a pet, you could handle this.  Who were you kidding? This is the most face dog on Instagram, if you screw this up you know your relationship with Chris will be over. Shaking your head at the down spiral of nerves over taking care of his dog you reach the front door.  

Deep breath, you can handle this. You reminded yourself as you knocked on the door.  Once the door opened you were immediately greeted by Dodger who seemed just as uneasy to see you as you are to care for him over the next week.  

You crouch down to his level and scratch behind his ears while whispering to him about all the fun you have planned for the week, laughing at Chris’ eye roll that Dodger was greeted before him.  “Awe, I’m just saving the best for last babe” you rise on your toes to wrap your arms around Chris and pull him into a kiss.  

He seems a bit tense, but you know he has a lot going on and brush it off.  “So, should you give me the proper Dodger Evans care lesson now or after dinner?” trying your best to read his mood.  He didn’t seem upset, but maybe a bit anxious and you didn’t want to add to that and be the obnoxious and demanding girlfriend. 

 “Yea, dinner first sounds good.  Did you still want to try that Indian place you mentioned?” he asked with a soft smile.  

“Well, we can, if you really want to but I’m kind of hoping we could just stay in” you smiled back at him hoping to ease whatever tension he was going through.  “I know it’s selfish, but you’ll be gone for the next week and I’d kind of like to have you all to myself today” looking up at him and hoping that a quiet night in would help him relax a bit.  

Chris seemed relieved by your suggestion “that sounds great actually” kissing you again.  Dodger happily followed the two of you around the house while Chris pointed out all of the important info you needed to know to take care of the world’s favorite rescue. You realized he wasn’t that hard to take care of, and you were bound and determined to spoil him rotten while you were his caregiver.  

Deciding to order in to make things easier, you perched on the couch, “so I assumed you're packed, any other pre trip rituals you have before leaving town?”  

“Pre-trip rituals?  Like what?” Chris smirks at you from behind his beer bottle. 

 “Well, I’m not a big fan of flying, so I try to relax as much as possible before a trip.  Usually a long bath with a bottle of wine, maybe a little weed if I can get my hands on some” you shrug.  Chris chuckles at you before getting up and heading into the other room, you aren’t sure what he’s doing or if you should follow him, but before you know it he’s back with an open bottle of wine and two glasses, grabbing your hand and dragging you to his master suite.  

You could only smile as you watched him turn on the tap to the tub and start to undress. “What are you waiting for, you are joining me” he shrugs then extends a hand to you as he steps in the water.  

Deciding that this should be about him you try your best to object but the sly smile and attempt at puppy eyes breaks your resolve faster “c’mon, please”.  

You shake your head at him with a smile as you undress and join him “you know, this was supposed to be a way for you to relax and decompress before your trip, not me trying to get in your pants” you sat down across from him, so your legs were entwined.  

Chris automatically fake gasps and tries to look offended by your comment, only for you to laugh at him “wow, you’re a really good actor”.  

"Thank you, I'm flattered you even know I'm an actor, I heard you haven't seen many of my movies" he challenges you with a smirk. It's your turn to gasp as his allegations,  "that is not true, and who ever told you that is a liar."  

You had seen most of his movies, so you weren't sure who would have told him otherwise.  He just stared you down while you sat there wondering how the evening made this turn. Is this why he was seeming a bit off, because you haven't seen his films?  That doesn't seem to make sense, he wasn't that egotistical,  but this conversation did seem to shift to a more relaxed feel between the two of you so why question it.  

"Did Sophie or Benedict mention what I said about Steve Rogers?  Because that has nothing to do with you personally or your portrayal, it was just my response at the moment and…" you are rambling and realize by the look on his face that your mention of Captain America was new information. 

"No one said anything did they?" you sheepishly look at him hoping that this conversation will be over quickly and it won't cause you to die from embarrassment but that really is the only possibility right now. He just shakes his head and looks at you unquestioningly to elaborate. 

You huff and reach for the wine glasses “I'm gonna need a little liquid encouragement to open up to you about this, I was hoping to take it to my deathbed."  

Handing him his glass you both drink before you dive into your take on Steve Rogers, "his immersion from that capsule was intense and while all the muscles were appealing, the smooth shiny skin reminded me of a dolphin" you shrug. "I much prefer you hairy and covered in ink" you wink at him trying to lighten the mood. 

"That's it? Just his dolphin skin?"  

"Yea, for the most part. There were some parts of the story that I would have written differently,  but he's a good guy." 

That seemed to be enough for him and you decided to try and just enjoy spending the night chatting about everything that has been going on before he heads to LA in the morning.  Unfortunately the tub water turns cold and you are forced out of the bath to prevent you from pruning, getting ready for bed in a comfortable domesticated silence was nice and you were both exhausted by the time you turned in. 

Chris’s early morning flight means you are immediately thrown into Dodger duty head-on, but you can handle it, he’s a sweet dog that seems well behaved.  You are determined this was going to be a good week, productive as you were getting headway on your newest novel you were writing and you had a buddy to keep you company.  

Finding your way to the dog park was  a bit more challenging but once you did, Dodger’s humdrum disposition vanished in an instant.  So your pathetic excuse of a ploy to get this dog to like you was taking him to the park daily in addition to your strolls around the neighborhood so you could both get plenty of fresh air.  

It was day three of your bonding week and decided to stop at a cafe without door seating so you and Dodger could dine together after your time at the park.  Dodger was relaxing on the concrete beside your table when a few 20 something ladies passed by, you didn’t think anything of it until they stopped and back tracked to your table.   

The first woman gasped as she approached and stage whispered “Is that Dodger Evans?” 

“It has to be, look at him!” her friend responded immediately.  None of them had even looked your way, but you could tell they were looking for someone, probably Chris.  

It was a little weird, and you wanted to laugh but you also didn’t want to cause problems with his fans, so you just waited for them to say something to you before interacting. 

The third woman finally looked at you and plastered on the fakest smile you had ever seen, you weren’t sure you could make it through this interaction without laughing.  

“Hi, um is he around here somewhere?” she looked around into the café like the others had but seemed a bit more impatient than the others.   

You took a sip of your coffee before responding, “um, who?” trying your best to seem oblivious to what they were going on about.  

“Chris Evans” she sighed as if you were inconveniencing her, “this is his dog, I know it is, so where is he?” her smile started to drop a bit, apparently you were irritating her with your mere presence.  

Well, here goes my attempt at acting, you thought to yourself.  “Oh no, he’s not here, just me and Dodger” you speak softly and have to look down at Dodger to keep from laughing.  And if it was choreographed they all deflated with an ‘oh’, clearly disappointed not to be getting a glimpse at your man.  

When did I get so possessive?   You distracted yourself by petting Dodger and giving him a bite of your bagel, which you hadn’t asked Chris about but a little bread shouldn’t hurt him.  

“Um, so what’s he like?” the first girl asked, but apparently you were in a mood and decided to mess with them.   

“Oh, he is the sweetest! Best dog I’ve ever met!” you praised Dodger while scratching his ears and making kissy faces at him.  As soon as the word’s left your mouth you could feel the eye roll from all 3 of them but actually able to contain yourself before looking back at them.  

Ms Fake Smile immediately huffed, “not the dog, Chris, what’s he like?” 

“Oh, I wouldn’t know, I only met him once” you shrug and return back to your coffee and brunch, hoping they would just walk away, but that answer didn’t sit well with her.  

“You’ve only met him once and you have his dog?  That doesn’t make any sense” her hands are now on her hips as if she’s challenging you.  

“Um, well yea, just for the interview, I’m his assistant” reaching down and giving Dodger more food to keep him appeased.  

“If you're his assistant you would be around Chris all the time and know him pretty well” the first girl seemed confused.  

“Oh, you misunderstood, I’m Dodger’s assistant.  I take care of him whenever Mr. Evans is out of town, or occasionally travel with Dodger to take him to Mr. Evans when he’s away. So, I’m around Dodger all the time and know him pretty well, but only met Mr. Evans during the interview process” you shrug and take your coffee trying your best to control any laughter that may come out as you think of the absurdity of the claim you just made.  

The three of them looked at each other as if they were trying to process what you just said, but you realized they must think celebrities live in a different world as you watched them nod at each other because it made total sense.  All you could do was wave at them as they said their goodbyes to you and Dodger without trying to break from the ridiculous character you had just created.  

Chris' week was nonstop meetings and more exhausting,  he hadn't realized how much he missed you until a week of short calls and occasional texts were the only communication.  He quickly decided getting back to Boston as soon as he could would be the best way to end his week.   

Making it home a few hours earlier was easier than he had anticipated, he knew he wasn’t homesick per se, but he was in dire need of a comfort that only you could provide.  Remembering the relaxing bath you forced on him made him smile, he was anxious about the trip and you had taken it upon yourself to help him without really knowing what was going on. 

Chris automatically breathed a sigh of relief when he saw your car at his house, wanting to surprise you by showing up early and worried for a minute that you might not be here.  Once he made it through the front door, he was surprised to not be met by Dodger immediately, but he could hear music coming from his bedroom and decided to find out what the two of you were up to.  

Stopping dead in his tracks to take in the sight in front of him, he wasn’t sure if he should laugh or take a picture, but he most definitely felt a bit jealous when he walked into the bathroom.  There, in the same tub the two of you had shared last week, was now Dodger and you sharing a bath together.  

“Well, I thought this was our special thing, but apparently you bathe with any guy around, huh?” he asked with a smirk on his face.  You squeal when you hear his voice, Dodger immediately jumps out of the tub and runs to Chris.  

“We had a rough day and needed a bath, come on Dodger, we aren’t done yet” you call the dog back and he gladly jumps in, wanting to continue the belly rubs and butt scratches you were doing before you greeted his owner. 

You immediately felt guilty seeing Chris, you were bathing his dog, looking like a complete mess, when you had planned to have a nice romantic night waiting for him when he got home.  This wasn’t how you wanted this to go, but you did your best to school your anxiety about the situation and took a deep breath before explaining what he just walked in on.   

“I wasn’t expecting you until later tonight, Dodger and I went on a little hike and were skunked” you pout at how ridiculous your day had turned out.   “This is our second bath today, the first in tomato juice to get rid of the skunk smell, and now this one so we don’t smell like marinara”   

Chris is looking at you, and you aren’t quite sure what he’s thinking.  Your illogical brain decided you should start rambling on to explain yourself  

“I know i should have called and told you, but it was really stinky, so I didn’t want to delay” before you can continue your apology, he’s kissing you so passionately that you can’t think straight.  

Pulling away for air, Chris looks into your eyes and whispers “I love you,” you gasp and start to smile when he starts kissing you again.  

“I love that you stayed here and took care of Dodger this week, and I love that you are taking a bath with him, even if I’m a little jealous” before he’s kissing you again.  When you finally pull away, you are delirious, 

“I love you too” you tell him as he’s picking you up and taking you to the bed.

 “Wait!” you stop him from climbing in bed with you. He looks at you, worried he did something wrong.  “I love you, and I want this, so much, but Dodger needs to be dried off before he runs loose in your house” you are giggling as you see the realization flash across Chris’ face.  

Thankfully, Dodger, being the good boy he was, stayed in the bathroom to roll around on the floor rug and towel you had pulled out, and kept all his dripping on the tiled floor. The two of you tag team to get Dodger dried off as quickly as possible, and get back to your intimate reunion. 

Before you even realize it, Chris has you back on his bed and is kissing you with such passion you almost melt.  He mumbled into your neck as he kissed his way down your body, how much he had missed you this week.  

“Mmm, you feel so much better than my hands” you breathlessly whispered as Chris was worshiping and kissing every inch of your body, but your comment made him stop almost immediately.  

Looking at you with so much lust you weren’t sure why he stopped, ‘have you been touching yourself while I was away working?” The smirk on his face told you he enjoyed the thought of you in his bed, making yourself cum and envisioning him.  

You could only nod, your brain was too foggy to form words at that moment, until he replied with “show me.”  You were a little shocked, you’d never done that with someone else, but you weren’t embarrassed.  Sex was something you always enjoyed, especially with Chris, so you started to run you hands from your chest and down your torso, but decided to stop and make the moment more fun.  

“I need a little help” you told him with a coy smile. He shook his head at you, telling you that he was only watching until you explained that you had brought toys with you.  

“Wh-what kind of toys?” he seemed a bit flustered at the idea but you knew it was going to be worth it.  You giggled at his reaction and just pointed towards your bag on the other side of the bed, he got up much faster than you had expected him to move after a long and exhausting week away.  

Coming back, he had quickly found your toy bag inside your luggage and dropped it on the bed next to you.  Reaching in you pulled out your small bullet vibrator and rubbed it across your nipples before descending to your clit, humming you closed your eyes and slowly increased the intensity settings and basked in the vibrations before teasing it to your entrance.  

Opening your eyes to the movement on the bed, Chris was down to only his boxers and was palming his erection while his eyes raked over your entire body.  Your orgasm was building and you had started to pant and moan when Chris’ hand took the toy from you and continued to stimulate your pussy.  

His assistance had you finding your release much quicker than usual, and you were surprised at how quickly you came.  “That was incredible, any other toys in that little bag of yours?” he asked, kissing your body again, leaving bites and bruises in his path.  

You shook your head no, “I was hoping I wouldn’t need any artificial assistance” and smirked at the way Chris grinned down at you.  The next thing you knew, Chris had captured your lips in a bruising kiss and was slowly sheathing his length inside of you. He trailed kisses down to your neck, but when he hit that spot behind your ear you could only respond with a soft moan of his name escaping from my mouth. 

And all at once, his hands and mouth were on every inch of you, consuming you like never before, the euphoria only allowing you to pant and moan with each new sensation he brought you.  You weren’t sure how long the two of you made love, and you lost count after your third orgasm, only your breathing slowly coming back to normal when he reached his peak and laid next to you.  

“That was one hell of a welcome home” he smirked as he kissed the crown of your head and pulled you into his chest.  You both laid there for several minutes before you heard your stomach reminding you of your hunger.  

Chris chuckled before lifting you from the bed and brought you into the shower “let’s get cleaned up and I can take you to dinner.”   

The restaurant Chris chose was one you had never been to before, but you could tell it had been around for a long time, run by the same family for generations.  Once you ordered your meals, you were able to catch him up on everything going on with you this past week.  

  “So you are going to NY?” he asks as the waiter pours your wine.  “Yes, the day after tomorrow, I have a meeting and from talking to Gabe on the phone, he seems like a good option as my new manager.  I haven’t booked the flight yet, do you want to join me for a few days?” you bite your lip hoping he will join you, it could be a nice getaway for both of you, even if it is work related. 

The flight to NY is quick and you are excited, getting a new manager means getting your career back on track.  You have been writing non stop since your classes at Boston College ended but without a contract with a publishing company, you weren’t as diligent as you could have been, you needed a deadline to really focus.  

Checking into the hotel, Chris waits in the bar until you text him the room number, he warns you that NY papz are just as ruthless as LA and wants to not bring any unwanted attention to you.  When he finally makes it to the room, he’s busy talking on the phone, so you decide to freshen up a bit before getting ready for your meeting.  

You are nervous, and you aren’t sure why.  You’ve had these types of meetings dozens of times, but this one feels more important, after everything Aaron has put you through, it’s hard for you to trust someone with your career.  His hands wrapped around you from behind but you hadn’t even realized he was off the phone, you were too preoccupied on what to expect with the meeting.  

“So that was Scarlett, she invited us to have dinner with her and Colin tonight at their place. I told them I would check with you first” he kissed your neck while talking making you completely distracted and you would probably agree to anything he asked you.   

You hummed as you allowed Chris to have his way with you, you need this to relax enough to not freak out during your meeting today.  “What time is your meeting?” he asked between kisses.  

“I need to leave within the hour to meet him for lunch” you pouted, realizing that you just wanted to spend the day in Chris’ arms.  

“Hey, don’t stress yourself out, he’s the one being interviewed here, not you.  If he knows what’s good for him, he’ll be begging you to work with him” he winks at you.  You can’t help but to giggle at him “do you always know exactly what I need to hear?”   

“That’s how I earn the best boyfriend award” he shrugged before pulling you into another heated kiss.

NEXT CHAPTER

[yandere-daydreams]

Title: Desperate Measures.

Pairing: Yandere!Kaeya/Reader (Genshin Impact).

Word Count: 2.2k.

TW: Kidnapping, Emotional Manipulation, Implied Stalking, and Delusional Mindsets.

Kaeya was a man, distracted.

Distracted. Divided. Not inattentive, but pulled away from his responsibilities by a force he couldn’t name and couldn’t say he cared for, either. He wasn’t a stranger to romantic inclinations — fantasies, sudden flings, slow-burning inclinations that died the moment his attention was called elsewhere. Predictably, the few relationships he allowed himself were short-lived, at best distasterous at worst, but he didn’t have a problem with that. If anything, Kaeya appreciated it. He’d always thought of company as optional, and what little loneliness he was still capable of feeling could be drowned with a generous glass of wine. He wasn’t one to linger. He tried not to overstay his welcome. He’d been sentimental, once, too emotional for his own good, and he’d learned his lesson. He didn’t intend to change.

He didn’t want to change.

And yet, here he was.

Distracted.

He couldn’t think. He couldn’t focus. It was all he could do to look like he might’ve been trying to read the most recent document left on his desk – this one from Jean, a directive for the younger knights or legislation she needed him to review or another vague, important report that he probably would’ve dealt with weeks ago, if he’d been able to concentrate.

He made a half-hearted effort to straighten his back as the door to his office began to open, but Kaeya dropped the act quickly, abandoning it completely by the time he heard the sound of heeled boots against hollow tile, caught a glimpse of a familiar (albeit, rarely used) catalyst, searched for eyes and found the cover of a thin book, instead, your face still buried in your newest novel as you stepped through the threshold, not bothering to knock. It was you. He should’ve known it would be. Who else did he deserve?

You, Lisa’s new assistant. You, the latest addition to the Knights of Favonius. You, his current, infuriating, unshakable fixation.

You, the new recruit who hadn’t paid him so much as a passing glance since your arrival, much to Kaeya’s frustration.

You didn’t look at him. You rarely ever did, but it hurt more than it usually did, today, as you dropped another form onto his desk, letting it replace the greeting you’d forgotten to offer. “Lisa needs you to sign this,” You started, laying out your priorities clearly, a skill Kaeya was beginning to resent. “It’s just next year’s budget. If you don’t want to read it, I think I’ll be able to look the other way.”

He glanced over the rows of numbers, the messy hand-writing, the columns of meaningless gibberish that blended together into a mess of ink and digits, and took your suggestion, scrawling his name across the only blank line. It was a lost cause, especially with you in the room. Especially with your unoccupied hand resting on his desk, your fingertips idly tapping an unsteady rhythm into the wood, and all he could think about was who he’d be willing to kill to feel that hand pressed against his cheek.

He considered asking you, for a moment, giving you an order and hoping you'd absent-mindedly obey. He thought about touching you, or running his fingers through your hair, or pulling you into his lap and mumbling sweet-nothings into your ear until someone else dragged you away.

He thought about a lot of things. Then, he said, “I take it your silence comes at a price?”

“Do I seem that selfish to you?” You were selfish. You had to be selfish. If you weren’t, then surely you would’ve been kind enough to put him out of his misery months ago. “I like helping people. Just remember this when I need a favor from you.”

“I’m sure we could work something more immediate out,” He went on, but you were already starting towards the door, calling the conversation to a close before Kaeya could begin to finish. In the back of his mind, something flared, the urge to catch your wrist, to go after you, to put himself between you and the only exit and refuse to move until you looked at him, but he forced it down, swallowing the temptation before it could eclipse his common sense. He couldn’t be impulsive. He couldn’t make rash decisions. He wasn’t prepared to deal with how difficult that would make things, not now.

Not yet.

“Join me for a drink?” He tried, again, attempting to sound unbothered. Nonchalant, casual, normal. Like he wasn’t itching to burn every book you’d touched. “I know you don’t have anything better to--”

“Another night, Captain.”

And just like that, you were gone, leaving Kaeya’s muttered response to echo through his empty office.

“Of course.”

~

Kaeya was a man, desperate.

Like a starving dog. Like a traveler who hadn’t seen water in thirty days. Like a distraught, distressed, disturbed knight, wandering through a maze of a library, cursing the existence of every shelf that separated him from you. He knew where you'd be. You were a creature of habit, and he’d already had more than enough time to memorize your routine. He’d had enough time to memorize everything about you, as ashamed as he was to admit it. It was a testament to his devotion, to how much time he’d spent trying and failing to win your favor.

It was evidence of how pathetic he’d gotten, over the course of his one-sided pursuit.

You were in your usual spot – tucked into the far corner of the library, perched on the edge of a windowsill, your attention monopolized by the tattered scroll spread across your lap. You were still pouring over it by the time he reached you, slumping against the nearest wall, taking in how brilliantly the muted sunlight looked as it danced across your skin. He didn’t try to hide the way he stared, anymore. He was long past worrying that you’d care enough to notice. Your hair was unkempt, proof that’d you slept in the archives again, if you’d slept at all. Your lips were bleeding, too, the lower one chewed raw and split down the middle, but it might’ve been stranger if they weren’t. It must’ve been a nervous tick, but Kaeya found it cute. Kaeya found it endearing. Kaeya found everything about you endearing, and to the archons, he wanted to see those lips wrapped around his co--

And he hated it. He found everything about you endearing, and he hated it. That was all.

He sighed, the sound airy, exhausted. You didn’t look up, but that was fine. It would’ve only hurt him further if someone as simple as that drew out your concern. “I’m in love with you.”

There was a hum, soft and contemplative. A rather generous response, by your standards. “I’ve noticed.”

“You’re all I think about.” It was an awkward confession, one he’d already used a hundred different times. He didn’t care. He’d use it a hundred more, if he had to. “I’m a wreck. I can barely remember my own name, and some days I can’t even do that. I can’t fight, I can’t eat, I can hardly breathe. Every morning, I wonder what it would be like to wake up to your smile, and every night, I stare at my ceiling and loath myself because I’m not holding you in my arms. For fuck’s sake, just yesterday, I almost kissed Albedo because the chemicals he was working with reminded me of the way your favorite kind of flower smells, and I’m just so fucking desperate, I convinced myself that was the closest I’d ever come to kissing you.”

He was rambling, by the end, panting, yelling, but you only blinked when he was done, once, then twice. Your dull nails bit into the edges of your scroll, but you didn’t seem to mind, nor did you move to roll it up as you finally turned to face him, the confusion written clearly across your expression. “You kissed Albedo?”

“You don’t get it,” He said, and you nodded in agreement. “You don’t fucking get it.”

“I think I do,” You admitted, more earnestly. Your gaze dropped back to the ground, and instantly, Kaeya deflated. “I just… I just don’t think it’d work out, if I’m being honest. I’m still new. I still have to give everyone else a reason to trust me, and I don’t think it’s in my best interest to start a relationship with one of my superiors so early on.” You paused, laughing to yourself, and something in Kaeya’s chest tightened. It was the happiest he’d been since he met you, and he still felt like you’d pushed a sword through his heart and twisted. “But, you don’t really want a relationship, do you? You’re just bored, and you need something to fixate on. I’m the most available option, so...” You trailed off, finishing your sentence with a vague, stilted sweeping gesture. “It’ll be easier for both of us, this way. I like you, Captain, but I don’t like you enough to put myself through that.”

It was all he could do to remember how to open his mouth. Once he did, the words came stumbling out on their own.

“Of course.”

~

Kaeya was a man, determined.

Determined might’ve been the wrong word for it. Too soft, too suggestive, the impression too positive and the meaning too vague. ‘Depraved’ might’ve suited him better, but that was too harsh, too primitive, and he’d like to think he’d been as gentle as anyone could expect him to be, given your stubbornness. He’d tried to be gentle. He’d wanted to be gentle. If he was going to do this to you, he could at least do it gently. You deserved that much, at least.

Or, maybe you didn’t. Maybe you didn’t deserve any of this.

He couldn’t really make up his mind, about that.

“Lisa?”

And he was gentle, more so than he had to be. Sure, you were on the floor, bare stone already beginning to chafe at your skin, but the shackles around your wrists were padded, and he’d given you enough slack to sit down, to ball yourself up, to act like it’d never crossed your mind that he’d resort to something so… easily misinterpreted. The blindfold was, similarly, an act of mercy. You’d panic if you woke up like this, chained to a wall in someone else’s cellar, and Kaeya didn’t want that. You needed time, and he could give you that. He would give you that. Even if it pained him to stay at arm’s length.

“Amber?”

He wanted to touch you. It’d be easy, now, easier than it’d ever been before. You wouldn’t be able to push him away, and even if you tried to, he could always overpower you. Take you by the neck, pin you against the floor, leave you shaking and trembling and begging, pleading with a captor you couldn’t see. He’d find a way to make it up to you, later on. He’d find a way to lie, to smile, to make it better, even if he’d failed to time and time again, out there. But, this would be different. You wouldn’t be able to cling to your excuses, and he’d be able to show you how much he cared, how much he wanted this, how much he loved you. This would be better.

“Kaeya?”

See? You were already coming around.

Your voice was already soft, hesitant, a sliver of a whisper that was constantly on the verge of dying out completely. You were trying not to make noise, trying not to seem as terrified as you really were, but he could hear the way your breath hitched as he took a step forward, your restraints rattling as you curled into yourself. You couldn’t hide from him, but you wanted to. That much was obvious. You didn’t want this.

But, he did. More than you could ever want to run away from it.

He wanted to touch you, but he held himself back. Instead, he only kneeled in front of you, letting himself linger for a moment before he spoke. “I’m here, love.”

“Where are we?” You were afraid, too scared to put the pieces together. Not while you could still hope there was another explanation. Not while you could still deny the apparent. “My head hurts, and I can’t--”

“I know, and I’ll make it up to you.” This time, he let himself reach out, cupping your cheek and chuckling as you tried to shy away. The two of you could work on that, later on. He could live with the guilt if he let himself enjoy it, now. “Just give me a moment, alright? Just a second, then I’ll take care of you.”

You opened your mouth, then you closed it again. Kaeya wondered if you’d be bold enough to refuse if he did try to kiss you, or hold you, or go further than the fleeting touches he’d swore would keep him satisfied, at first, at least. He wondered if he’d care, when you did. “Are… are you going to hurt me?”

He wanted to reassure you. He wanted to promise he’d be patient, that he’d understand if you lashed out, that violence wasn’t an option he was willing to consider, but he couldn’t, like this, could he? He didn’t want to hurt you, but he’d never wanted to kidnap you, either, not until you made it obvious he didn’t have another choice. He didn’t want to stoop so low, he didn’t want you to hate him, but…

But, he was lying again, wasn’t he?

To tell the truth, he couldn’t remember the last time he genuinely cared whether or not you loved him back.

You stifled a scream as his hand dropped to your jaw, his grip tightening as he jerked you forward, just close enough to wrap his arm around your waist, to bury his face in the side of your neck, to get a taste of what you’d deprived him of. It wasn’t enough, he doubted it’d ever be enough, but he had you. He had you, he was close to you, and he had you. That had to be enough, for now.

“We’ll see.”

[latte-fairytaekwoon]

𝐀𝐭𝐞𝐞𝐳: 𝐑𝐨𝐮𝐠𝐡 𝐒𝐞𝐱/𝐀𝐧𝐠𝐫𝐲 (𝐑𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐝)

Warnings: NSFW content. Read at your own discretion.

❥𝓚𝓲𝓶 𝓗𝓸𝓷𝓰𝓳𝓸𝓸𝓷𝓰

Hongjoong was already frustrated. He was on a deadline to finish up a song and he was nowhere near even getting halfway. Eden had just recently scolded him and he felt extremely agitated and irritated at this point.

"Hey Joong? I brought you lunch so-"

"Just leave it on the table, I'll eat it later." He cut you off rather sharply, barely even sparing you a glance.

"I was actually thinking we could eat together." You were off put by his short temper.

"I don't have time Y/N." He huffed out, a hand running through his hair.

You were pissed at this point and were not about to take his crap anymore.

"Exactly! You don't have time for me anymore! I get your job demands a lot of your time, but to not even take a break and enjoy just 10 minutes without....these." You gestured to all the mess scattered around his desk.

Hurt about being reminded about his neglect of you yet angry at being scolded once more, Hongjoong slammed his hands on the table, swiftly pushing off the chair before going over to where you were standing and stared you down.

"All right. Fine. 10 minutes you say? I can work with that."

Without a warning, he pushed you onto the couch, making a quick work of your pants and stripping them off you. You let out a sharp cry when he began devouring your pussy, animalistic growls spilling out his lips as he slurped you up as if he'd been starved. When you tried pulling away, he landed a harsh slap on your clit, making your hips jolt up and a shriek come out.

"Shut up and take what I give you you needy desperate whore. You wanted 10 minutes? Let's see how many times I can make you cum in that time."

❥𝓟𝓪𝓻𝓴 𝓢𝓮𝓸𝓷𝓰𝓱𝔀𝓪

Hearing the front door slam, Seonghwa brace himself for yet another one of your moods after a long day at work. Wanting to help your day be less stressful, he had prepared you some of your favorites food.

"Y/N." He called out to you in a sing song tone.

Stomping over, you just looked at him with an eyebrow raised, total resting bitch face plastered on.

"I made your favorite." He happily told you, but you still didn't seem to bat an eyelash at him, you simply turned around and began walking out.

"Wait Y/N come on. Here at least try some. It'll help you with your stress-"

"Can't you take a damn hint Seonghwa?! I don't fucking want it!"

When he tried to approach you with a spoonful of food, you actually snapped and slapped it out of his hand, making it stain his perfectly polished floor. Seonghwa looked at it then looked back at you.

"You know Y/N I think I put up with your bratty attitude and bitchy behavior for too long."

You gasped sharply when he suddenly turned you around and slammed you up against the table, grabbing your arms so he could hold them behind your back.

"Maybe I've been a little too nice to you....making you baths, preparing you food, all in hopes of helping you release stress....but its clear a little bitch like you doesn't need that."

You squirmed under his grasp, trying to get free but with no use as his grip was tight on you. The sound of him unbuckling his belt made you stop moving entirely, and you shivered when pulled your skirt up before ripping your tights and pushing your underwear to the side.

"Clearly a bitch like you needs a good pounding, fuck that attitude right out of you."

❥𝓙𝓮𝓸𝓷𝓰 𝓨𝓾𝓷𝓱𝓸

You knew you were screwed the instant Yunho roughly pulled you off Mingi's lap and took you into his room, shutting the door right behind him before staring at you with fire burning through his eyes. You had never seen him so mad before.

No soon afterwards, you were currently on top of him, his hips bucking up at you at a relentless pace that had you screaming his name over and over again. His hands were practically digging into your skin, holding tightly onto you with such ferocity.

"Look at you, being so desperate for a good fuck that you'd actually try and whore yourself out to my best friend like a cheap bitch."

When one of his hands came up to grasp at your throat, you were shivering on top of him.

"Weren't you?! What! Is my cock not enough for you? My cock and these hands you love so much not satisfying you anymore? Hmm? Is that why you were all cuddled up to Mingi? Hoped he'd actually take pity and fuck you?"

You knew it wasn't your intention to make him jealous, but god if this is what jealousy did to him, you would totally do it again.

"Stupid slut. Mingi's not going to fuck you. You're just a dirty, filthy hole, he doesn't want you...."

Even after you came, you were still a crying mess as Yunho kept fucking up into you, not caring that you were beyond your limit, your inner thighs getting sore.

"But you're my little hole for me to fuck. Got it? And if I need to fuck you dumb to get it through that stupid useless brain of yours to understand that only I can make you feel this good, then so be it. I'll fuck you til you break, my little sex toy."

❥𝓚𝓪𝓷𝓰 𝓨𝓮𝓸𝓼𝓪𝓷𝓰

Yeosang was not very pleased by your behavior lately. You had been giving him the silent treatment and avoiding him for no good reason. Trying to coax what was wrong out of you, he came up behind you as you were washing dishes.

"How's my little princess? Did you have a good day?"

He was only met with you elbowing him in the rib and shoved him off you.

"Ok seriously Y/N? What did I even do? Stop being so childish and talk to me like a mature adult."

Hearing you scoff and seeing you roll your eyes at him made him furious and irritated with you. As you tried to walk past him, he grabbed your elbow and picked you up, setting you down on the kitchen counter as his eyes burned a hole through you.

"If you're going to keep acting like a brat, maybe I should just treat you like one then."

You don't know if you truly regret breaking Yeosang's patience. On the one hand, you were definitely not going to be walking straight for a week. On the other, you utterly enjoyed having your face pressed against the pillow, ass up as Yeosang was shoving his dick in and out of you, red handprints scattered across your butt cheeks and hands tied behind your back with one of his ties. Everytime you tried to hide your face in the pillow to muffle your screams, he'd yank your hair up.

"I said I wasn't having you ignore me anymore princess. Now come on, scream my name. I want this entire floor to hear your pathetic whimpers."

❥𝓒𝓱𝓸𝓲 𝓢𝓪𝓷

San looked at you with an unamused gaze.

"Repeat what you just said.....I dare you to."

He was pissed off, it was more than clear. But maybe that's what you wanted, wanted him to be as pissed as you were, even just a bit of what you were feeling. It's not that you meant to take out your jealousy on him, but seeing his co-host be extremely clingy towards him backstage and he never did anything about it made your blood boil.

"I said you're nothing more than a fucking horn dog. Probably let that skank suck your dick." You exclaimed in disgust.

The sudden slam of his hand against the wall behind you both scared and thrilled you. Looking at you with a hungry smirk, he opened the door behind you, trapping you inside a closet. In minutes, he was pressing you against the wall, his frantic grunts mixing with your whimpered cries. San would occasionally let out a sadistic laugh at how wrecked you look.

"You're right baby, I am indeed a horn dog. Absolutely love getting my dick wet and fuck a pussy all the time."

Hand reaching between your legs, he began to harshly pinch and rub at your clit, his other hand that was holding onto your hip keeping you from collapsing on the floor as your orgasm took over you.

"But get this straight: I only fuck this pussy right here. Ok? I fucking claimed this a long ass time ago and I'll fuck it whenever I want to."

❥𝓢𝓸𝓷𝓰 𝓜𝓲𝓷𝓰𝓲

Ending the call with your friend, you were coming out of the bedroom when you were suddenly shoved back inside by none other than your usually caring and sweet boyfriend, who looked angry as he closed the door behind him.

"Mingi? What-"

You couldn't finish your sentence as his large hands cupped your cheeks, his long body pushing you back until you landed on the bed. He was kissing you harshly, nothing like the usual tender and loving kisses he'd be known to give you. His hands clutched at your covered breasts, groping at them before he unexpectedly tore your shirt in the middle.

"Mingi! What has gotten into you?!" You exclaimed in shock at his sudden change in behavior.

"I heard you talking to your friend. Saying shit like I'm too soft and vanilla for you."

You moaned out when he began to suck along your neck, his hands cupping your bra and pulling it down enough to have your breasts spill out.

"Oh princess if only you knew I've just been holding back all this time."

With a taunting chuckle, he pulled of you. Undoing his zipper, he began to strip out of his jeans and briefs, letting his long cock spring free, precum leaking at the tip.

"I didn't want to be selfish and break you like I wanted too....... but if that's what you want well then, I'd be happy to oblige my little princess."

❥𝓙𝓾𝓷𝓰 𝓦𝓸𝓸𝔂𝓸𝓾𝓷𝓰

Neither of you knew how it started nor exactly how it escalated. One minute Wooyoung was being the annoying shit he was, with you playfully shoving him away and calling him names, and then the next you were both pushing each other rather abruptly. When you called him a particularly degrading insult, he retaliated likewise and now it seemed like a screaming match between you two.

"You know what? This is fucking stupid!" You hollered and turned away, making a bee line towards your room.

"I'm not done yet!" Wooyoung trailed after you.

"Well I am! Now excuse me, I'm going to go take a shower and hopefully cool off this rage." You stated firmly before slamming the bathroom door right in his face.

The refreshing water seemed to calm you down a little, so you just stood there under the shower head, just letting your body soak in the cold. You were so unaware of your surroundings that you failed to notice Wooyoung had entered the bathroom and didn't realize it until you felt his arms turn you around to face him. No explanation, he just began kissing you, his tongue taking control over your mouth while one hand hiked one of your legs over his waist.

"Still think I'm an annoying bastard?" He grunted fiercely as he thrusted up into you, not giving you time to react as he began pounding into you.

"Yes you are!" You hissed at him, hands swooping his wet hair and tugging at it rather hardly.

He just looked at you with a shit eating grin.

"Yet you still let me fuck you. "

❥𝓒𝓱𝓸𝓲 𝓙𝓸𝓷𝓰𝓱𝓸

You were frustrated and stressed out, so was Jongho. Even as you two did your own little things inside the apartment, even the smallest things either of you did made the other let out an annoyed huff. It all culminated when Jongho accidentally spilled his cup of juice on the floor, that little action had you both looking at each other with near contempt.

"I feel like punching something." Jongho confessed.

"Me too." You admitted.

"Wanna punch me?" He offered.

Smirking at him, you thought about something better.

"No.... I think I'd rather fuck you."

So now here you were, underneath your inhumanely strong boyfriend, his cock balls deep inside you, your legs thrown over his shoulders while his hands were already leaving bruises around your inner thighs from how hard he was squeezing at them. You two had already cum several times but you still kept going, pushing past your sensitivity as you both still had a lot of rage and energy to release.

In a particularly sharp angle of his hips, you were quivering under Jongho, for the first time you were actually squirting under him.

"Oh fuck!" Seeing you break down and make a mess all over him and yourself had him cumming soon after, his body collapsing on top of yours.

Both of you were beyond exhausted after all that. Your bodies were so sticky with sweat and your breathing had not yet returned to normal. Looking over at you, Jongho smiled sincerely for the first time in days.

"So.... now that we got that out of the way.... can we cuddle?"

Gifs not mine. Credit goes to their respective owners.

[spookiekewchie]

look what you did

MINORS DO NOT INTERACT

Characters: ex!Steve Rogers x woc!reader, sugar daddy!Loki x woc!reader

Summary: Steve's choices have consequences that he's too late to realize.

Word Count: 3k+

Warnings: angst with a satisfying ending, mentions of Steve x Peggy, general language warning, non detailed smut, name calling, mild violence, calling Peggy out for her faults, calling Steve out for being an idiot, Steve is selfish and kinda a jerk in this, me ignoring canon because I can, I think that's it

A/N:  I'm an idiot that listened to a song (Girl Like Me by Jazmine Sullivan) and ended up writing something that I swore I'd never write and that's endgame Steve leaving the reader for Peggy. But it's okay because he suffers in the end. Also for the sake of this Loki didn't die in IW. Also shout out to @syren-tara & @lafayette103 for helping me decide on Loki for this. Anyways, all mistakes are mine so pardon any errors or typos I'm sure I missed a few. The divider is by @firefly-graphics

for translation purposes: elskan = darling

DO NOT repost or translate my work anywhere. Reblogs are always welcome, and let me know that you enjoy my fics.

In all your training and avenging nothing ever prepared you for this. You had fought killer robots, aliens, the government, and yet Steve had you stood there, dumbfounded and sure that you hadn’t heard him correctly.

“Ha, ha. Jokes over, and I’m no longer amused.” You replied, Steve just stood there silently, eyes downcast like he couldn’t even look at you. Like he felt guilty.

You could feel the cracks in your heart as the fissures began to spread, the only thing holding it together was a glimmer of hope that what Steve had just told you wasn’t really what he was planning. You looked over to Bucky, and the sad resentment in his eyes said it all. Steve was leaving the both of you behind to go chase some skirt he had a crush on back in the forties.

And just like that the hope died, and your heart cracked. You didn’t even realize the hot tears streaming down your face until a shocked gasp choked its way out of you and finally drew Steve’s eyes up to your face. “No, honey please. I-I don’t want you to hurt. I just...this place isn’t for me, and nothing’s felt right since I came out of the ice. I love you, I do, and I want you to know that this has nothing to do with you I just…” He didn't finish his statement, so caught up in his reasons for running away that he hadn’t realized just what he was saying to you. Bucky had though, and a strong hand had clamped down on Steve’s shoulder to silence him as Bucky looked warily to you.

“Nothing’s felt right?” You repeated, how fast had you cycled through your emotions just to land on anger? You weren’t sure but hearing Steve’s selfish excuses suddenly made you grasp onto anger and hold so tight to it that it was all you could feel. “But you had no problem fucking me, and telling me how much you loved me. Or telling me how good I was for you. I was your good girl wasn’t I Steve? That’s what you always called me. Guess I wasn’t good enough, certainly not better than some bitch from the forties that hired Hydra scientists, and let a Nazi regime infiltrate SHIELD, that didn’t see anything wrong letting a black man be tortured and forgotten to history.” Yeah you’d never been a fan of Peggy’s once you’d found out about that from Steve, and the fact that he was willing to just blindly look over her glaring faults and run back to her was too much. “You realize that intentionally or not she played a part in Bucky being used as Hydra’s attack dog for decades right?” Briefly you looked to Bucky who just looked even more hurt to hear it said out loud. But you could see the way Steve’s jaw set when you dragged your gaze back to him, it was the sign that he was frustrated but willing to see something through regardless.

That was when you understood. Nothing you could ever do for him or to him would be enough to make him stay. He was willing to give you up for a woman he’d only ever shared a kiss with.

“I get that you’re upset, but you aren’t being fair to h-”

“Get out.” You didn’t let him finish, didn’t let him try to defend her in your presence while it was your heart that was shattering into pieces because of him. “Get the fuck out, Steve. Don’t worry about the apartment. I’ll sort it out, and as for all your shit, I’ll just throw it out in the trash where it belongs.”

His mouth fell open as if he wanted to say something else, but Bucky just pulled him away. Muttering to the blonde that he’d made his choice and now it was time for him to live with it.

You didn’t go with Bucky to say goodbye, you had nothing to say to Steve. He’d chosen another woman over you, and it was all you could do not to fall in the self deprecating thoughts of what you could have done better to make him stay. You eventually did though, a week later you’d caught yourself standing in front of a full length mirror as you judged your body and tried to find the flaws that might have made Steve not want you any longer. When you realized it you cursed yourself, because fuck him. Fuck Steve for doing this to you, and making you doubt yourself like that. And fuck that good girl shit, it clearly didn’t get you anywhere with him.

You were angry again, and you knew you’d end up wallowing in it if you didn’t get out and do something to take your mind off of it. So you called Sam, and threw yourself into missions with him. And when you weren’t doing that you were with Bucky drinking as the two of you pretended you were both alright. At some point you ended up in his bed, tangled in his sheets as the two of you used each other to try and forget the hurt that Steve had inflicted on the two of you. It happened only a handful of times before the two of you put an end to it, neither of you felt that it was fair to yourselves and you both needed to find better ways to move on. You stayed friends, and thankfully it wasn’t awkward between the two of you.

Then came the arrival of Loki in New York, and the city seemed to be gearing up for another fight only to find themselves placated with apologies, donations, and his efforts to help the people living in the city. It wasn’t long before it was like the attack on New York never happened all those years ago. You supposed the world had bigger problems to deal with, and if Loki wasn’t causing more then they were all too happy to forgive his past transgressions. You, however, hadn’t been so easy to win over, so while Bucky and Sam were dealing with the Flag Smashers you made it your personal mission to keep an eye on Loki.

He was amused by your insistence that he was up to no good, and your simmering hostility that you couldn’t entirely pass off as your own. Part of it was some misplaced lingering sense of loyalty to Steve. He’d never liked Loki after the attack, and he wasn’t happy to hear about how Loki hadn’t been kept imprisoned on Asgard. Somehow Steve was still influencing you even when he wasn’t there. You didn’t even realize it until the day that Loki dared to pin you to a wall and challenge your reasons for why you insisted on needling him and threatening him if he stepped a toe out of line.

“Is it because your precious Captain didn’t care for me that you linger around waiting for me to do something wicked?” He had whispered the words mere inches away from your face as you glared into the brilliant blues of the god. You didn’t want to think about it, because truthfully New York had been so long ago and seemed like such a blip on the radar compared to everything that had happened afterwards. What he said next though knocked the wind out of your sails. “Or perhaps you’re hoping I’ll do something wicked to you.” He breathed with a smirk.

You couldn’t bring yourself to say anything as your brow furrowed in silent anger.

“Don’t think I don’t know why you’re so bothered by my presence, elskan. I see the way you look at me when you don’t think I’m aware.”

Shit shit shit. It was something that you hadn’t wanted to acknowledge, but it seemed that Loki was intent on making you do just that.

“Your precious Captain left you for another woman, why waste time with being loyal to a man that didn’t think you were good enough to stay in the present for.” It was cruel, and it hurt to hear. It had hurt so much that you hadn’t thought when you slapped Loki across the face. Tears brimming in your eyes that you refused to let yourself shed anymore tears for Steve Rogers. “Such anger you have, elskan. Go ahead, let it out.” That taunting smirk was back on Loki’s face and it caused something in you to snap.

You dragged him in by the lapels of his expensive suit, and claimed his lips in a heated kiss. It was all teeth and burning anger that you had been burying for nearly four months. Nothing about it was soft or sad, not like it had been those few times with Bucky. You were rough with him, nails clawing and dragging against whatever part of him you could reach. You paid little care to his expensive garments, ripping them asunder and leaving them tattered as you worked him out of his clothes. And he was equally just as harsh with you, your shirt and jeans were in scraps in seconds, the matching bra and panties under it weren’t even spared a glance before they met the same unfortunate fate. There was no sweet foreplay, no loving kisses, no soft touches, just Loki’s digits stretching you out and making you come apart before he was shoving his length inside you with a harsh grunt. You lost track of time then, of all the different ways you let him take you, and of all the places in his lofty penthouse that he fucked you in. You let Loki use you, and Loki let you use him, let you get it all out of your system and gave you a reason other than Steve to let tears stream down your face as he fucked you the way only a god could.

That was how it started, and somewhere along the way things shifted. It wasn’t just about using Loki to forget about Steve, it turned into actually enjoying the god of mischief. And all the gifts and attention he showered you in only served as further incentive to let your little tryst continue. You’d joked with Loki about it one night, calling him your sugar daddy. Of course he wasn’t exactly sure what that phrase meant but when you explained it he hardly seemed upset at the prospect of being used for attention and gifts. After all he was using you for sex and companionship, and according to him if he had the means to spoil you then he saw no point in not doing so. That was the extent of the conversation between you about your relationship, and you didn’t question it or let yourself feel bad about it. You’d had enough of feeling bad, and after Steve you weren’t even sure if you wanted anything deeper than what you and Loki were willing to give at the moment.

It was bliss after that, a whole eight months of you and Loki enjoying the relationship you’d built. And then one day an unexpected visitor showed up on your doorstep.

You should have asked who it was before you answered, but you had been expecting Loki to pick you up for that evening's date. What you hadn’t expected was for Steve to be standing there a year later on your doorstep looking at you like you’re the most precious thing in the world. God what you wouldn’t have given to have him look at you like that months ago. Now all you have is confusion and bitterness for the man in front of you. “What the hell are you doing here?”

“What? No hello, babe?” He teased, and your vicious glare sobered him up in an instant. Clearly the lighthearted approach wasn’t the way to go here. “Right, I don’t deserve that after what I did.”

You scoffed as if that weren’t abundantly obvious while you pulled your phone from your purse to text Loki about this new development. “How did you find me?” You questioned, and Steve had the good sense to look embarrassed at going through the trouble to track you down.

“I called in a few favors when I found out that you moved out of our place.”

“Of course you did, why are you here?”

He didn’t say anything at first, just looked at you for a moment before sighing heavily. “I came back for you.”

You’re surprised enough by the admission that you looked up and met his gaze only to find yourself comparing the blues of his eyes to Loki’s.

“I spent a year with Peggy, and all I could think about was you. I thought, well I thought a life in the past was what I needed but all that time I couldn’t stop thinking about the things you said about her that day. It-it, uh...it got to the point that I couldn’t even look at her, and I realized that I was never in love with Peggy. It was just the idea of her, and I was an idiot that gave up something great with you for something that wasn’t even real.”

“And it took you a year to realize that?” You questioned, brow arched as you inspected your fresh set that Loki had paid for earlier that day. The thought of how the sparkling green and gold of your nails were going to look so good when your fingers were wrapped around Loki’s cock later brought a smirk to your lips. Unfortunately Steve thought the expression was for him.

“Well no, it took me two months, and I thought that maybe you wouldn’t want to ever see me again, and that I should just stay and make the best of things. I couldn’t do it though, I missed you too much, doll.” You could hear the hope in his voice, and the petty bitch in you wanted nothing more than to crush it like he had your heart a year ago.

“You should have stayed.” You replied simply, the sight of Loki’s car pulling up in front of the house he had paid for. “I moved on, and I honestly have nothing for you but resentment.”

Steve’s hopeful smile fell at that, his head turning to follow your gaze. He scowled at the sight of Loki sliding gracefully from the driver’s seat and stepping around to lean against the side of the car so he could watch the two of you. Steve wanted to stomp down there and wipe the self satisfied smirk from Loki’s lips but he knew it wouldn’t look good if he attacked the god with no just cause.

“Yeah, I heard about that. Buck told me you and Loki had gotten cozy while I was away.” His tone held bitterness, and it made your heart soar with joy to know that he was unhappy.

“We’re a little more than cozy, Steve. Who do you think bought me this house?” You couldn’t help but throw it in Steve’s face. Once upon a time he talked about marrying you and getting a house for you two to start a family in. Knowing that Loki had done that for you because he wasn’t there to make good on his promises had his jaw clenching so hard that he could hear his teeth creaking under the pressure.

“So you’re dating?”

You rolled your eyes, it honestly wasn’t his business. “We’re something, if you must know. Loki gives me what I want, I give him what he wants, and we’re both happy with that. Now if you don’t mind getting off my porch, I have a date.” You were ready to dismiss him, but Steve wasn’t ready to end the conversation so soon. He wasn’t ready to accept that you had moved on from him, and to Loki of all people. This wasn’t what he’d come back for and it was making him angry to see you so happy to indulge in something so superficial and empty with someone as dangerous and cunning as Loki.

"I don't understand, why are you acting like this? I came back. Doesn't that mean something after what we shared? How can you act like you don't care about me anymore?"

Was he serious? Was he delusional? You weren't sure which it was but your already thin patience was at the end of its rope. "What don't you understand, Steven?" He flinched at the use of his given name, you only did that when you were angry. "You abandoned me for another woman, made me feel like I wasn't good enough, the fact that you realized you didn't want her and came running back doesn't make up for what you did. You fucked up, and I stopped caring about you months ago. Seeing you again is nothing more than an unpleasant surprise." Your words stung his pride and you could see it plain as day reflected on his features. In his anger and hurt though, Steve's next words were just another nail in the coffin.

“You know what he’s done, you know he’s a killer and you’re still willing to play his happy little who-” Steve’s words were cut off abruptly by your hand colliding with his throat, and your knee coming up painfully between his legs. He crumpled to the ground with a pained wheeze, fuck he had forgotten how fast you were.

“Fuck you, Steven. I know what he did, and I don’t care. Hurts doesn’t it? That’s exactly how I felt when you ignored all of Peggy’s bullshit and still left me for her.” You spat, glaring down at the man you had once wanted a family with. “You don’t get to have an opinion on what I do, who I do it with, or how. You forfeited that right when you ran off to play house with Peggy. You don’t get to break my heart, and then come back to judge me for how I chose to fix it, you selfish bastard.” You pulled your front door shut behind you with a slam, locking it quickly and stepping around Steve so you could stride your way towards Loki. “If you’re here when I get back I’m calling the cops, I don’t want to see you again.”

Steve coughed, hurt, guilt, and shame all flooding through him as he watched you walk away from him and into Loki’s embrace. Anger bloomed in his chest when the god took the time to press a possessive kiss to your lips while his hands roamed freely over you before he finally opened the door to usher you into the car.

“Nice seeing you again, Captain. Have a nice night, I know she will.” Leave it to Loki to rub salt into an already gaping wound.

Steve could only glare as he slowly righted himself, he had done this. He had left you for something he didn’t even end up wanting, and he’d pushed you right into the arms of another. Now you were happy and it wasn’t with him. That was what hurt the most, and the thing that made him sick to his stomach. He should have listened to Bucky back then and stayed, and he should have listened to Bucky now and stayed away.

[gogolucky13]

Picking Up the Pieces [3/3]

Summary: Bucky chooses to stay in his tumultuous relationship knowing you’ll be there to pick up the pieces, until finally you’re not. [Modern AU]

Pairings: Bucky Barnes x f!Reader, Bucky Barnes x Natasha Romanoff (mentioned), Steve Rogers x f!Reader (mentioned)

Word count: 2,345

Warnings: Angst (with a happy ending). Smut (not explicit). Swearing. (18+ only please).

A/N: The conclusion for my submission to @firefly-in-darkness​ 2k Follower Challenge! I’m so overwhelmed and grateful for all the love and interest in this story, thank you all so much 😭 I really hope this ending is good enough, and I’m sorry if it upsets anyone-it’s just fiction right?! Anyways, congratulations again, Daisy! And thank you for letting me take part in your challenge. It was a lot of fun! Hope you like! 😊💜 gif not mine.

Part One // Part Two

It’s been too long without you. Too long since Bucky has been able to see you, talk to you, just hold you. If he would’ve known the last time he was with you would’ve been the last time, he might’ve done something. Did more to convince you that he cares, said more to assure you he really is yours. 

The three weeks after he last saw you might have been the longest of his life. No contact, not even a text from you, and it was killing him. To go from talking everyday to complete radio silence had his head and heart hurting, and stomach twisting in knots of nausea.

He tried to reach out, to understand what happened, if he did something. But his efforts were left unanswered and he eventually gave up. Finally accepting you wanted nothing to do with him anymore.

He isn’t stupid. He knows what he’s doing is wrong, and it’s hurting you. Always calling upon you to fill the void in his heart that Natasha never could. But he can’t help himself. He’s a selfish bastard and he knows it. 

A constant is what you’ve been for him since the first time you met. His person that brought him happiness and support, comfort and yes, love. Again, he isn’t stupid. He knows you love him, that you hope one day he will finally gather enough courage to ask you to be more than a friend. But he never finds it and he hates himself for it.

Because as he got to know you, Bucky realized he would never be good enough for you. His examples of a loving, caring relationship growing up weren’t ideal, and he never figured out how to fully give himself to someone. The best he could offer you was something physical, and when you took it, he ran with it.

Then he met Natasha. This beautiful, flirty redhead at his gym, someone who he could try to make a relationship work. She wasn’t you. He was always painfully reminded of that fact when she looked at him or smiled at him. Her looks never as endearing, and her smiles never as comforting. 

It was obvious their relationship wasn’t truly going anywhere. There were hardly any conversations about what the next steps would be. Move in together? Get a dog together? Even Natasha was aware their future was murky. But she stayed, probably because she’s just as insecure and too scared to ask what his intentions really were.

And for some reason he stayed, too. Pushed through the mediocre connection for what, he doesn’t honestly know. Maybe to prove to himself he can make a relationship work, but that was a bust after the first argument, then the countless ones after that. Plus, you were always there to pick up the pieces, and habits are hard to break.

So now he sits like a fucking pathetic piece of shit staring helplessly at your contact information on his phone. Lost, miserable, heartbroken.

When he saw you with him the other night, he knew. It made him sick to his stomach and he knew what needed to be done. He broke up with Natasha that same night, and since then he’s been pussy-footing around getting into contact with you.

He wants to text you and call you, but it’ll be futile considering how you reacted to him at Sam’s party. Not to mention the weeks you ignored him leading up to that night. He knows you owe him no explanation and have every right to cut him off without a single reason why. He’s expected you to be there for him and selfishly taken from you countless times. 

He just really fucking misses you.

Knowing you won’t bother to answer his texts or calls, his last option is to go to you. The only hope he has that you won’t slam the door in his face is knowing you have a hard time saying no to him. He’s taken advantage of that in the past, and he’s going to do it one more time.

Knuckles gently rap against the wooden surface of your door. A shaking fist is lowered to his side, clenching and unclenching as he impatiently waits for you to answer.

The sound of the door harshly opening brings his eyes up to meet yours. Anger and resentment reflecting in the colored specks and he’s suddenly forgotten how to speak.

“What?” Your voice is hard, venom-like and nearly unrecognizable.

He’s seen you pissed off before. Like the time you lost a promotion to an ungrateful prick at work. Or when you got into a fender bender right after buying your new car.

And he was there for you. Consoled you, as a friend, and reassured you everything would be okay. But this time is different. This time you’re pissed at him and he isn’t so sure everything is going to be okay.

“What do you want, Bucky?”

His blue eyes make quick to scan your features. Annoyance wrinkles your brow, remorse has your lips scowling, and a conflicted sadness resonants across every corner of your face. Almost in relief he’s come to you, but also wishing he would’ve just stayed away. And maybe he should have.

How did he let it get this bad? How could he hurt you this bad?

“I…I…” The words stick to the inside of his mouth, mind blanking on anything that’s worthy of being said.

“You what?”

Defensively crossing your arms over your chest, he knows you’re half a second away from shutting him out for good.

“I just want to talk,” he quickly rushes out, desperation evident in his tone and pleading eyes.

There’s a moment of silence. Then you turn on the ball of your foot, leaving him to follow you inside.

“Make it quick,” you say. “I have a date in an hour.” You add the last part nonchalantly over your shoulder as he closes the door, and the air in his lungs catches in his throat.

Following you into the modest living room of your place, you remain standing and don’t bother offering him to take a seat. This really will be quick, he thinks.

Silently, you fix him with an expectant look, waiting for him to start. Bucky is slightly thrown off at your refusal to speak first, but then again, he did show up here unannounced.

“Uh, I just…uh, I miss you.” His tone is soft, unsure.

But you scoff and roll your eyes, and his heart is hammering away in his chest as he helplessly watches you slip through his fingers.

“I do,” he affirms with a bit more confidence. “And I needed to see you.”

“Why?”

He blinks at your unexpected questioning.

“Why what?”

“Why are you really here?” You ask again, tone unwavering.

Bucky’s mouth opens to respond, and again, his mind falters on what to say that won’t dig this grave any deeper. But you cut him off before he’s even able to form a coherent sentence.

“Is it because you’re afraid you won’t get to have your cake and eat to it, too, anymore?”

“Wha—no!” Indignation creases his brow, voice the loudest it’s been since arriving here because he’s just so frustrated with himself for letting it get to this point. “Y/n, no, that’s not it at all.”

“Then why, Bucky?” Now your voice is beginning to waver. A pleading desperation cracking through the syllables. “Why show up here after I’ve made it very clear that I’m done with this,” a gesture of your hand to the space between the two of you, “and I’m trying to move on with someone else. I can’t do this anymore.”

He sees it happening—farther and farther away you’re falling from him, and he can’t stop the words quick enough before they tumble out of his mouth.

“Do you love him?”

“What?” You seethe.

“I said, do you love him?” 

“How dare you.”

“I need to know, Y/n.”

“Seriously? Fuck you, Bucky!” You exclaim, dropping your arms and letting your hands slap loudly against your thighs. “I can’t fucking believe you! How dare you show up here and then ask me—“

But the rest of that sentence dies on your tongue when Bucky speaks again.

“Because I love you.”

You freeze, snapping your mouth shut as you stare directly at him. 

“What did you just say?” Your voice is barely above a whisper.

Swallowing thickly, Bucky gives himself a second to calm his nerves before repeating the confession.

“I love you.”

The clenching of your jaw is obvious, the irritation evident as it darkens your features. 

“Fuck. You.”

Eyes wide in shock, Bucky opens his mouth to protest, but you’re quicker.

“You see me with another guy, trying to move on and be happy, but you can’t let me have that, can you? I can never get what I want with you, so when you think you’ve lost your fuck buddy you show up here and say that to me? Hoping it’s what I want to hear that will bring me back to you? Really? Fuck. You.”

He winces at your words. How could he be so stupid? 

His confession wasn’t meant to anger you or push you away. It wasn’t some selfish card he decided to pull when he realized you weren’t coming back to him. 

No. 

It was a last ditch effort from a desperate man who was scared shitless of losing the woman he loves. Forever.

“Do you even know what you did?”

Your voice brings his attention back to you. The exasperation that clouded your features has melted into a pained look of sorrow.

Wordlessly, Bucky shakes his head, body tensing as it prepares for the inevitable shame your answer will bring.

“The last time we were…together,” you begin, eyes falling to the floor, and he can see the reflection of tears on your soft cheeks. “You said her name.”

It’s all you need to say, and his face is crumbling. 

Fuck.

“I…It…” He should just give up now. There’s nothing he can even say to make up for calling you another woman’s name. Another woman he doesn’t even fucking love.  

“I’m sorry, Y/n,” he sighs, already accepting defeat. “I’m so fucking sorry. I didn’t... I don’t know what else to say. I...I was drunk and I just... I’m...”

I’m a fucking idiot.

Words are lost, mind racing because he knows this is it. He’s lost you over a stupid drunken mistake that should’ve never happened.

The stillness of the room has him on edge. Tension building, he’s turning to leave, but then it’s broken by your next words.

“Did you mean it?”

Breathlessly looking to you, his heartbeat picks up at the lifeline you’ve just thrown him. Even though he doesn’t deserve it.

“Yes.” He’s nodding earnestly and takes a step towards you. “So much. I love you so fucking much, Y/n, it hurts.” When he notices you haven’t recoiled at his approaching figure, he takes another step. “And I’m such an asshole and a piece of shit after everything I’ve done. I don’t deserve you, I know that, but I just want to make it up to you.” Another step, then another, and he’s about a foot away. “If you’ll give me the chance, I’ll make everything up to. I love you.”

Now that he’s this close, he can see just how badly his words and actions have affected you. The brightness in your eyes is gone. Replaced with a dull emptiness shadowing the heavy bags under your eyes. From lack of sleep and crying, he’s sure.

Clenching his fists at his sides, he stops himself from smoothing out the wrinkle in your brow, and presses his mouth together to resist kissing away the scowl on your lips.

“Please, Y/n, I—“

He doesn’t get to finish his last plea because your lips are crashing onto his, and he wastes no time. Pulling you into his body, his hold is tight, afraid you’ll change your mind and push him away again. But you don’t, and he sighs in relief when your arms wrap around his neck.

Lips moving in desperation together, Bucky can’t get enough. It’s like the first sip of water after a long hot summer’s day, and he has been parched for too long. His tongue slips out to deepen the kiss, but then you suddenly pull away and all hope he just found is lost all over again.

“Wait,” you exhale, “Are you still—“

“No,” Bucky intently confirms.

“Really? When?”

“Sam’s birthday.”

“Oh.”

Your moving in for another kiss, but then your question reminds Bucky, and now it’s his turn to pull away.

“Wait, do you have—“

“No.”

“No? When did yo—?”

“Sam’s birthday.”

He doesn’t even try to hide the smile on his face when he brings you back into his embrace. 

Bodies move in sync to your bedroom, a breadcrumb trail of clothes left along the way. Falling together onto the bed, contact is never broken as a fit of giggles comes over the two of you. Playful nips turning to fervent kisses. Sensual touches lighting a fire over heated skin. Wanton moans reverberating against the walls that have seen you both like this countless times before.

But this time is different.

This time there are no outliers—it’s just you and him. And he wants you to know it.

“I’m yours,” Bucky breathes against the shell of your ear. “Always been yours.” 

There’s a faint taste of salt on his lips and he realizes you’re crying. He kisses away the pain and heartache, until his lips find yours again. He conveys a silent promise through a deep, passionate kiss.

He’s yours. 

He’s always been yours, and will continue to be yours for as long as you’ll have him.

And when he slides into you, arms tight around your waist and face buried in the crook of your neck, a relieved moan falls from his lips. 

He’s finally home again.

[mjolnir-steve]

Number 48 with Ransom Drysdale?

I wasn't sure which 48 to go with, so how about all three? 😅Thank you so much for sending me this!! 💜

Fluff: “the world could be on fire and i’d still be happy as long as i'm with you.”

Smut: “what would people say if they knew you were such a slut for me?”

Angst: “you can’t take back what you said.”

Ransom Drysdale x fem!reader Summary: Ransom said something stupid and you heard it. Now he has to explain himself. Warnings: some cursing, lil bit of smut (18+ only!!!!!!), beginnings of oral sex (f receiving), lil bit of angst, hurt/comfort? Word count: 1355 (Is this drabble length? Who knows!) Prompts are in bold!

You ran toward the front door, fumbling with your keys in your haste to get away from your prick of a boyfriend. Ransom was close behind, almost getting his fingers caught in the door when you tried to slam it behind you. “Y/N, please, let me explain!”

He stepped inside and toed off his shoes before running after you up the stairs. He checked every room, unable to find where you’d disappeared to. With his head in his hands, he sat down on the bed you shared and wondered when exactly he’d stop being a fucking moron. He pulled his phone out of his pocket to call you, but set it down when he heard sniffles from the walk-in closet.

Ransom took a deep breath and opened the door gingerly, as if he were afraid he’d scare you off. “I’m so sorry, cookie. Can we please talk about this?” He found you sitting on the floor at the back of the closet with your knees pulled tight to your chest.

Your chest tightened upon hearing the nickname he coined for you one day when you accused him of liking Biscoff cookies more than he liked you. It was only a few months into your relationship and you stupidly thought it meant something. “What is there to talk about, Hugh?” you said with all the vitriol you could muster. “You told your family I’m basically just a piece of ass.” You wiped at your eyes, hissing at the burn caused by the mascara you’d forgotten you were wearing. “I don’t see how you could clarify that statement any further.”

Ransom sank to his knees in front of you and reached for your hands, but you pulled away, crossing your arms. He sat back and brought his hands to his lap, fidgeting with the hem of his sweater. “You weren’t supposed to hear that.” He rubbed his eyes with the heel of his palm, trying to relieve the pressure building up behind them so that he wouldn’t cry just yet. “I’m so s–”

“–First of all, that does not make it better. Second, whether I was supposed to hear it or not, you still said it, Ransom. You can’t take back what you said.” All your willpower couldn’t stop your voice from cracking. You covered your mouth with both hands in a futile attempt to stifle the sobs beginning to rack your body.

He crawled forward, wrapping you in a tight hug and letting you cry into his shoulder. Thankful you didn’t push him away, he rubbed soothing circles into your back with one hand and cradled the back of your head with the other. “Baby, please listen to me. If you still can’t forgive me after this, I’ll understand, but please please please let me explain myself.”

You relaxed into him a bit and loosely wrapped your arms around his middle, hesitantly nodding your consent into the side of his neck. “My parents were asking if I was serious about you because they’re selfish fucks. Everyone in my family is, except my grandfather. They don’t like to see outsiders getting comfortable in our ‘ancestral home’ or whatever. I’ve seen it before when my cousins bring their significant others home. They don’t want to see me happy because… Well, because they’re assholes, but also because they see new people as threats, especially when those people aren’t as wealthy as my grandfather has made us.”

Ransom sat down on the floor, guiding you to sit in his lap. You looked at him, a bit unsure, as he took your face in his hands. “If I let them know that you mean something to me, everything to me, then they would make your life miserable. It sounds so stupid saying it out loud, but I figured if I let them think you meant nothing, then they’d leave us both alone for a while longer.” He brushed a few stray tears from your cheeks with his thumbs. “There are no words to tell you how sorry I am, cookie.”

You blinked at him and waited a moment to see if he’d continue, but he remained silent, eyes shut tight, tears threatening to fall from behind his dark lashes. “That’s why you never bring me to family things? I thought you were embarrassed by me. I thought you didn’t want them to meet me.” You started crying again as your last sentence caught in your throat. Ransom pressed his forehead to yours.

“I’m so fucking sorry. I didn’t want you to have to meet them. You make me so happy and I was scared they’d try to ruin that, ruin us. I should have been honest with you.” You covered his hands with yours, still holding your face, and leaned back enough to look in his eyes, somehow still brilliant blue in the dim light leaking in from the bedroom.

“I make you happy, Ran?”

“The happiest I’ve ever fucking been. The world could be on fire and I’d still be happy as long as I’m with you.” He kissed your forehead, the top of each cheek, and the tip of your nose, but you stopped him with a finger to his lips before they could catch yours.

“You make me happy, too, handsome,” you sighed, bumping his nose with yours. “But you have to promise me you’ll talk to me more. I know your family is mostly made up of assholes, and I can handle that, but I can’t handle it if you’re going to act like that, too. This all could have been avoided if you just gave me a heads up. I’m not going to tell you how to handle your family – I know you probably know best – but I am telling you how to handle me.”

You took his hands from your face and held them with yours, close to your heart. “If you need me to act a certain way or say certain things to keep them out of our bubble for a while longer, I can do that. I just need you to communicate with me, okay?” He nodded at you, a hint of a smirk forming on his lips.

You kissed him then, unspoken emotions flowing between the two of you of both apology and acceptance. Ransom deepened the kiss, needy as he always seemed to be after an argument, no matter how big or small.

“You said something about handling you, cookie?” He laid you down on the closet floor, pushing down the straps of your dress and bra. Your laugh turned into a moan when he simultaneously nipped along your neck and rolled your nipple between his fingers.

You moaned his name, arching your back and pushing your exposed chest against his sweater. “Strip, pretty boy.”

“Yes, ma’am.” He practically leapt up, removing his clothes with a speed you were sure had to count towards some sort of Olympic record. You couldn’t stop giggling as he settled between your legs again, resting his chin on his hands folded over your tummy. “Tell me what you want next,” he almost whined, looking up at you with the biggest puppy dog eyes he could muster.

You carded your fingers through his hair, admiring his features for a moment before you decided to take advantage of the situation. “What would people say if they knew you were such a slut for me? Always so needy, handsome.”

He let out a shaky breath. “Who cares what they’d say? If they ever had sex even half as good as we do, they’d be fucking desperate for it, too.” He lifted his head and began to kiss his way down your body, stopping at the tops of your thighs. “Wait. Does this mean I’m forgiven?”

“Show my pussy how sorry you are, then we’ll talk.” You pushed his face away to where you needed him most, laughing and gasping as he whispered actual apologies against your core, causing your skin to break out in goosebumps as his breath fanned over your warm, wet center. You’d already forgiven him, but why not make him earn it?

A/N: I really hope you liked this! I’ve just started writing fic again after about seven years off, so feedback is appreciated, as well as comments and reblogs. :)

Send me drabble prompts to help me flex these writing muscles again!

[levworship]

cw: dom!reader, fem reader, mommy kink, degrading, dirty talk, oral (fem rec), slight mind break, reader is a lil manipulative. just a bit. probably had errors

summary: you find out while on another blind date with one of mina’s friends that kirishima is just the man for you. he wants to be used, and you’re more than willing to use him.

word count: approx 2.9k

“fuckin’ mina. i’m gonna beat her ass.”

this wasn’t the first time your best friend has tried to set you up with one of her friends. and honestly, knowing her, it more than likely wouldn’t be the last time, either. “but he’s so nice” she’d promise, or “she’s just a little shy,” and perhaps the most common line of “you just have to be a little patient with them”

patient my ass.

your damn patience was beginning to run thinner and thinner the longer you sat waiting at the table for your date to arrive. you’re used to mina’s friends not being the most punctual, but to not show up at all? it was almost insulting. here you were, taking the time out of your busy day to spare some of your sweet time with some rando and—

“hey there, beautiful.” your eyes quickly tore away from the spot you’d been staring at for the past few minutes during your internal rant. part of you wished you hadn’t, because you damn near stopped breathing. typically, you’d never allow a man the satisfaction of hindering you speechless, but fuck. the man before you stood tall and strong, the white fabric of his dress shirt clinging onto his muscles in the most delicious way possible. his hair was slicked up in a style that you could only describe as goofy, and his smile? it was so contagious that you couldn’t help but to toss away the piping hot insults you’d been preparing to shoot his way.

“sorry i’m late. was searching all over town to find these for ya. i know mina said they were your favorite, and well—“ pulling his arms from behind his back, the red-haired man handed you a comically large bouquet of flowers. were they your favorite? no, not at all. but you couldn’t help but to be flattered anyway. “had to look all over town for them. turns out they’re actually pretty hard to find around here. can you believe that?” he chuckled to himself as he scratched at the back of his neck. an unfittingly cute gesture for a man of his build.

you grin sweetly as you grab the bouquet from his large hands, setting them down on the table in front of you and batting your lashes. “these are very beautiful! thank you so much, ...um?”

mina always purposely hid the names of her friends away before setting you up, mostly in fears that you’ll end up googling them and find some not so pretty things, just as you had that time when she tried to set you up with katsuki bakugou. (you noted to yourself that day, stay away from him at all costs.)

“ah- eijirou kirishima!” he filled in for you and held a hand out for you to shake. your eyebrows shot up in realization, leaning forward a bit on the table to shake his hand. you don’t miss the way his eyes shamelessly drift down to your cleavage when you do so. the sight made you laugh.

now you saw why he seemed so familiar at first glance. you’d heard mina talk to you about him on numerous occasions. big, handsome, and dumb. that’s how you’ve always perceived him from listening to her stories and descriptions. and if there was one thing you actually enjoyed about a man, it was how simple they could be. perfect for a woman with your desires.

you open your mouth to return his introduction, but he’s already cutting you off with perhaps a little too much eagerness. “and you’re y/n? did i say that right?” he quirks an eyebrow. “uh- i may have asked mina about you already. a lot.” he flashed you a sheepish smile.

talking to him felt like being a kid in a loaded candy shop. he’d be in the palm of your hand in no time.

the rest of dinner went on moderately better than your previous experiences with these stupid dates. kirishima was a bit of a talker, but you didn’t mind listening if it meant you got to watch the way those puppy dog eyes lit up a little more every time he’d begin telling you a story from his hero work (turns out you were just really behind on the latest hero news), only to quickly become side tracked by one details of his story and trail his way to another mini rant.

finally, you figure you’ve had enough of him rambling. it was time to cut to the point. “does it get lonely?” you asked him suddenly, trying your best to hold in a smile at the way he looked at you confusedly. “i mean- not really? i’m a hero so i’m with people all of the time-“ “that’s not what i meant, red.” hearing you refer to him by his hero name sent visible chills down his spine. just the effect you were wishing to have on him. something about your change in tone knocked him from a highly energetic and charismatic sweetheart, to a blushing and stuttering mess who suddenly couldn’t sit still in his seat. and from just one question, too?

he was almost too good to be true.

“no? i-i mean, yes but... i dunno. i’m busy a lot, a-and i don’t really have time for... yaknow.” “what kind of women do you like? in bed, i mean.” you managed to knock his brain around for a second time as he fumbled around his head for an answer.

“i-i guess it depends?” “hm? what do y’mean?” the way he continued to respond to your nasty questions had you licking your lips. you wanted him. badly. in the most selfish ways possible.

“depends on what the chick is into. i mean- they usually like when i’m on top. but..” you don’t respond this time. instead you look at him expectantly and wait for him to continue his previous statement. something about seeing such a grown man grow so embarrassed that quickly does something to you.

“i guess i wouldn’t mind... having someone take control for once?”

everything from that point felt like a blurred flash. you quickly abandoned the bouquet and called for the bill (which he so generously covered for the two of you) and were stumbling out of the door in no time, speedily walking all the way to your humble apartment. the door had just swung open when you were already shoving him inside.

kirishima spent nearly the entirety of the walk psyching himself up for this. did you know he wanted to experiment with this? had mina told you? how would mina even know? did he even really want this? because by the way he was struggling to catch his breath and connect dots in his mind, maybe he’d gotten too far ahead of himself.

but it was too late for that now. you’d already shoved him all the way down the hall, into your bedroom, and onto your bed before he knew it. you were fierce and impatient. and honestly? he found it quite intriguing.

“red...” you drew him back from falling into his thoughts once again, dragging your knuckles across the rough skin of his cheek. “i said, are you sure you want this?” and he swears he’s never nodded faster in his life, already grabbing onto your waist and hoisting you onto his lap. “yes! yes, i’m sure. please y/n?” and with that, a thread in you snapped.

you pushed him roughly until his head rested comfortably against the pillows, muttering a quick ‘stay’ as you began to fumble with his belt. you’d barely even touched him, yet he still lied staring at you with those same big adoring eyes. he was just too cute for his own good.

it made you want to wreck him.

you practically ripped away his pants and boxers before gently palming at his cock. you had expected him to be big, but not this big. he was long and thick, your hand barely managing to wrap completely around it. wordlessly you crouched down and pressed a gentle peck to his swollen tip, the precum that’d gathered there now sticking deliciously to your lips.

kirishima was getting so restless above you that you could’ve mistaken him for a virgin, hands fisting at your sheets with countless pleas tumbling from his lips. “so impatient, cutie. dont you want to be taken care of?” “i do! i do!” it seemed as if he was completely unashamed of how desperate he must’ve looked right now.

but rather than provide the sweet sweet release you knew he was craving, you tsked and backed away from his cock. much to his disappointment. “you know something, red? i didn’t take you for the selfish type. want me to make you feel good when you haven’t even touched me yet? and i thought you were a gentleman...”

kirishima thrashed below you, fingers digging hard into your hips. “i’m a gentleman! i’ll be a gentleman! i promise!” his lip wobbled cutely. you almost felt bad for having to deny such a pretty face.

almost.

he observed closely as you leaned back on your knees, sliding down the straps of your dress and tugging until your lacy bra was revealed to him. you were going to be the fucking death of him. you couldn’t help but giggle a bit at the way he eyed your chest. “i’ll tell you what.” you said as you reached out and pressed a finger under his chin, forcing him to meet your intense eyes.

“be a good boy for me and maybe, maybe, i’ll let you touch. deal?” and kirishima nodded giddily. truly an obedient little thing, he was.

you gave him a large smile that didn’t quite reach your eyes before patting him on the cheek, moving up to straddle his face and... shit. you weren’t wearing any panties under your dress. the smell of your arousal right in front of his face nearly made him overload, wanting nothing more but to bury his face between your legs until you’re heaving and begging for a break. but he had to be good for you. wanted you to rake your fingers through his hair and call him your good boy while he plays with your pretty tits.

“well? dont you want a tas—” you gasp when his mouth is suddenly on you, every sense of restraint abandoned as his tongue slid across and pressed against your poor clit. it was messy, no real technique behind his frantic movements, but he still had your eyes crossing and your thighs squeezing the sides of his head as ear muffs, his fingers squeezing and prodding at the flesh to keep himself grounded.

the sounds that came from your cunt and his mouth were embarrassingly lewd, the sound of his slurping making your entire body go hot. you were so close to losing your composure and letting him have you the way he wants, but you couldn’t pass up an opportunity like this. not when you’ve been craving this for this long.

“kiri..” you couldnt tell if you were whispering or yelling at this point, brain all scrambled from the amount of pleasure you were receiving. you nearly doubled over from the vibrations of the small ‘hmm’ of acknowledgment he gave you. your fingers tangle themselves in his stiff red locks, holding his face still to allow you to grind yourself on his mouth just the way you wanted.

your breath hitched in your throat each time his nose bumped against your clit, his tongue buried deep in your hole as he was desperate to taste all of your juices. you could already feel your orgasm creeping up on you..

“oh, shit! just like that. good- fuck! such a good boy” the praise sends him into a frenzy, now using the pad of his thumb to rub viciously at your clit as his tongue fucked into you so nicely.

“‘m cumming, cumming, oh my god!” you’re hunched over now, eyes screwed shut when your orgasm suddenly rips through you. kirishima’s tongue continued its assault on your spasming pussy, the overstimulation becoming almost unbearable. you tried everything to get him off of you to make it stop. tugging his hair, lifting yourself up- but nothing seemed to be able to separate him from you until you literally shouted his name.

he released you in an instant and allowed you to back away to fully take in his form. everything about the sight was downright sinful. your juices covered the entire lower half of his face, and his hair remained matted with sweat against his forehead. and most delicious of all? he still looked hungry. you nearly said ‘fuck it’ and climbed back on top of him again...

but he needed to be punished.

and it seemed that he knew this too, because the moment your eyes met he was already begging for mercy. “‘m sorry! p-“ “i thought you promised you’d be a good boy? yaknow, i’m not exactly a big fan of liars, red. how could i let you have me when you can’t even follow simple instructions?” he’s silent at this point, eyes glued to the ground with an unreadable emotion splayed across his face.

you huffed as you climbed off of the bed, standing on wobbly legs with your back turned to him. you shook your head as you quickly slid your dress back into place. you originally planned on leaving it at this and sending him home, and perhaps you’d consider giving him a second shot if he begged you pretty enough. but kiri had other plans.

he wasn’t quite sure what came over him, but when he realized that you were planning on leaving him like that he couldn’t help but to jump up, gripping onto your waist once again. “kiri! what are you doing?” “please.” he whimpered into your ear, hard chest pressing into your back and his painfully hard cock rutting against your ass.

you probably would’ve collapsed right there if it weren’t for his tight grasp. “please don’t leave! ‘m so hard for you. want you so fucking bad. i’ll do anything, just- please let me cum. mommy.” the word rolled off of his tongue so sweetly, so heavenly, you couldn’t stop yourself from shoving him back onto the bed and tearing off his shirt.

you licked your lips when he was left completely bare to you finally, hand already working at pumping his cock. “suck a dirty boy. men like you are scum, you know that? getting so upset that you didn’t get your way after being so disobedient? i should tie you up and edge you for the rest of the night just for that” he began to mindlessly shake his head, muttering quiet a ‘no, no..’

“however,” you began to drag your fingernail across his chest, playing with the hairs that rested there, “think i’m gonna let it slide this time. well, only if you thank me properly..”

“thank you mommy!” the way there wasn’t even an ounce of hesitation or shame in his voice had you clenching around nothing. denying him any longer was beginning to be just as much torture to yourself as it was to him. biting down on your lip, you grabbed his cock and started pressing the tip to your entrance.

you began to feel as though you’ve managed to completely break him, watching as he continued to sputter out ‘thank you’s even as you struggled to take his cock in your dripping cunt. the stretch was nearly unbearable at first, but you were never one to back down from a challenge.

you weren’t going to stop until you knew you’ve completely broken him down into a blubbering mess for you. until you were the only thing he could think of. until you had him quivering and begging just for you. the thought of making him into your slave had you bouncing on his dick with energetic vigor.

kirishima was a sight to behold, too. eyes crossed and occasionally fluttering shut, panting like a dog as every bit of his stamina oozed out of him and he had to hold himself back from cumming too quickly.

at one point you caught his eyes glued on to the way your covered tits bounced while you rode him, still clad in your tight dress. you smirked devilishly before reaching behind your back and unclasping your bra, tugging it down with the dress once again and toying with your puffy nipples for his viewing pleasure.

that seemed to be the final straw for kiri, as he was now bucking up into you like a horny mutt. “gonna cum so hard, mommy. please let me cum in you. g’nna fill you up so good. wanna make you a mommy. i want it- i want it- i want it...” with all of his babbling you weren’t quite sure if he was aware of what he was saying right now, but the lewd words still had you spiraling closer and closer.

“cum in me, baby. be a good boy for mommy and give her your babies, okay?” you told him as you gripped his face in your hands.

and like the obedient little thing he is,, he did exactly that.

thirsts and requests for haikyuu and bnha are open.