#if only i were interested in reading amy parks' other stuff :(

[cranberrylane]

started exploring one direction songs because amy noelle parks said some of them inspired tqwotak

[whatifyoulivelikethat]

meteor, m | myg

pairing(s): yoongi x reader

summary: Ah, university. A time to get drunk, get laid, and get an education. Not so for Min Yoongi however (not even the education part, smh). He was dragged along to parties because of the insistence of his friends (despite having fun anyway, what a grump). Until a meteor crashes into his atmosphere, in the form of a picture he didn’t remember taking, and then Yoongi’s life becomes a whole lot more interesting.

sister story to orbit, m | jjk. click here to read.

warnings: rated M (18+) for language, alcohol consumption, a decent amount of buildup; smut (fem reader, phone sex, mutual masturbation, dirty talk, fingering, partial handjob, f-receiving oral, penetrative sex); non-idol!AU - university!AU; Yoongi’s POV

Makes a lot of references to ‘orbit’, so I recommend reading it first. Technically BTS x reader, but we’re focusing on Yoongi. :)

--

Min Yoongi stared at the photo on his phone.

He didn’t remember taking this picture.

Thick black choker with a silver ring on it. Oversized band tee, gray flannel shirt over it. Chunky black boots. Wild, messy hair. The sharpest black eyeliner he had ever seen, reminding him of Amy Winehouse. And red-stained lips, somewhat smeared. The picture was blurry because it had been dark and there were other people in it, holding cups of liquor and making out.

But for Yoongi, the young woman was the focus.

She was holding something beige. He couldn’t really tell what it was because it was balled up in her hand. And she had hickeys on her legs and neck. They stood out on her smooth skin.

Yoongi tilted his head, trying to dissect the image.

“Staring at your mystery lover again?”

Yoongi looked up to see the teasing smile of Park Jimin, tongue between his teeth. He calmly turned the screen of his phone off, placing it on his lap.

“I’m trying to find out why this picture is on my phone,” Yoongi mumbled.

Jimin held out a rice cake on the toothpick. Yoongi gave him a bored look, not opening his mouth. Jimin snickered and shoved it against his lips. Yoongi sighed and opened his mouth, letting the soft confection pop in. Hm. Not bad. Yoongi chewed thoughtfully.

Kim Taehyung appeared next to him, brown hair flying about from the wind. Sigh. The troublemaking ’95 liners. Taehyung nabbed the toothpick and shoved a rice cake into his mouth.

“Isn’t it obvious?” Taehyung said between chews. “You took it.”

Yoongi frowned. “I don’t remember taking it.”

Taehyung shrugged. “Drunk you might remember.”

Yoongi’s reply was interrupted by another rice cake being shoved into his mouth. Jung Hoseok popped up, smiling, waving at them. He had been wearing a pastel track jacket earlier. Yoongi frowned, seeing only the loose black t-shirt. Was that a little trace of dark red on Hoseok’s collarbones?

-

Kim Seokjin was oddly quiet today.

He was wearing a white turtleneck and thin-framed, round silver glasses (Seokjin called them his studious glasses), hiding his dark circles. Yoongi craned his head, seeing a dark red spot behind Seokjin’s ear. Seokjin tapped him impatiently.

“Here, I found it. It’s these chapters here.”

Yoongi sighed and looked back down at his textbook. “I’m just not good at this kind of stuff, hyung.”

“Shush, education is important. Hyung will help you.”

And Seokjin worked with him through the equations patiently, forcing Yoongi to listen.

-

“Hyung, can you pick us up?”

Grumbling Yoongi was in his car, driving his way to a party where apparently the youngest Jeon Jungkook had abandoned the troublemaking ’95 liners. He couldn’t blame him. Yoongi would also leave them. Okay, maybe he would double back after ten minutes, but he would at first just to teach them a lesson. There were a billion (alright, a substantial number) cars in front of this huge house. A couple was intensely making out on the balcony. Yoongi peered up with slitted eyes, still sleepy from being woken up abruptly. He wondered if they would fall. Hm.

He texted Taehyung saying he was outside. And waited.

Then he saw her.

The picture in real life.

She sauntered out the front door of the house, licking her red lips. Her slim, pretty hand wiped her chin, devilishly grinning. She was wearing a familiar navy shirt with white embroidered flowers, clutching something white and pink in her other hand. Chunky black boots as she walked through the cars, pretty hips swaying.

Yoongi tilted his head, lips parting.

Juicy thighs flashing, head held high, eyes going from car to car. Headlights illuminated the hickeys on her thighs. His mouth watered, wanting it.

Yoongi held up his phone, turning on the camera app. The young woman paused, looking to the right.

He snapped a picture.

She went in that direction, out of his sight. He lowered his phone, staring at the photo. Clearer, with her profile and legs in shot. The line of her body, traceable now. His finger raised and touched the screen, sliding down her front, pausing in between her legs.

His backseat door opened and Jimin and Taehyung fell in, giggling like loons. Taehyung was shirtless and somehow Jimin had kept his own cream t-shirt on. Yoongi put his phone in his pocket, scowling.

“Where the fuck is your shirt?” Yoongi muttered.

Taehyung shrugged, falling onto Jimin and laughing some more.

“Who knows?”

-

“Hyung.”

Kim Seokjin was attempting a jump quest in MapleStory, tapping the spacebar impatiently.

“Is this your shirt?”

“What?” Seokjin replied, not looking at Yoongi’s outstretched hand and his lit-up phone screen.

“Is this your shirt?” Yoongi repeated.

Seokjin shrieked as his avatar fell and turned into a gravestone. Yoongi recoiled a bit, frowning at the loud sound. Seokjin paired it with a groan, smacking his keyboard in frustration before turning his head to face Yoongi and his phone.

“What are you–”

Seokjin’s face went bright red.

-

Hm.

Yoongi had put it all together quite quickly. He was an observant man (he knew this, no one needed to tell him) and he was quite sure of what was going on. It was all very interesting.

Very interesting.

He stared at the photo on his phone. The newer one, the one where she was wearing Seokjin’s navy shirt. He learned her name from Seokjin. And her modius operandi. Maybe that should have dissuaded him, but Yoongi always thought societal norms were a bit outdated. He wasn’t the type to shout it out, but he was the type to quietly break the rules and appreciate those who broke them.

And she certainly tore right through them.

“I can give you her number.”

Yoongi looked up to see Kim Namjoon’s shifty, embarrassed gaze. Yoongi hummed, thinking. Namjoon sat down, handing him a coffee.

“Thanks.”

Namjoon smiled, tipping his own coffee to him.

Yoongi pursed his lips. “You too, huh?”

Namjoon’s ears turned pink. “Ah… she’s fun. Really fun.”

Yoongi scratched his neck. He took a lazy sip of coffee, thinking. She had just appeared one day, as a picture on his phone. Suddenly visible in his atmosphere, like a comet. A speck in his sky, growing bigger and bigger. Yoongi chewed on his lip, thinking, thinking. Sex was not really a big motivator for him. But there was something about that face. That dangerous little smirk.

He kind of wanted to stuff his dick into it.

The side of Yoongi’s lips curved to one side.

“Sure.”

-

Yoongi wasn’t a texter.

He didn’t text his people greetings or send memes to his friends. He only texted when it needed to be done, when it was absolutely necessary. He didn’t really like calling either. It had annoyed his previous flings, but that wasn’t his problem. Yoongi concluded he wasn’t good at that sort of thing anyway and, besides, it wasn’t important. Music was more important.

He clicked his tongue, staring at his computer screen. Jeon Jungkook was in his living room, working on his assignments. Jungkook came over sometimes, saying it was better to study here. Yoongi didn’t really get it, but he couldn’t refuse the young man either. If it helped him, it helped him, and it didn’t infringe on Yoongi’s work too much. He liked having him around, really. Jungkook could be annoying when he wanted to, but he could also be quiet and that was nice.

Also, Yoongi had a good scowl that could silence him quickly, so that was good.

He was a bit annoyed that this mix wasn’t giving him the feel he wanted. It felt like it was missing something. Yoongi rolled his chair in a slow circle, thinking. Thinking. He spun his smartphone on his fingers. It balanced perfectly, not falling off despite his movement. He was good at basketball, after all.

He sucked in his cheek and paused his hand movement.

Swiped a bit, stopped.

Sent the photo to the number.

Waited.

His phone vibrated.

I know who you are.

Yoongi fanned himself with his grey t-shirt, making the skull graphic on it dance. Hm.

That doesn’t surprise me.

He sent it.

Waited.

Hm.

He placed his phone on his desk, eyes shifting to his computer screen. Well then. That was that.

His phone buzzed loudly against the wood. Yoongi’s eyes flickered to the smaller screen. His finger automatically swiped his pattern and unlocked it, bringing up his messenger app. His heart stopped.

A picture.

Her head nestled between black satin pillows, eyes glimmering with mischief, red-stained lips upturned with a sly smile. It must have been her bed. Her eyeliner was as sharp as Yoongi thought. The shape of her cheeks burned into his mind, the pretty slope of her neck and shoulders enticing him. They were bare, accented by thin straps of a red velvet dress that clung to her breasts.

He swallowed hard.

Deep breath. Yoongi’s finger swiped quickly.

Never seen you in a dress before.

The reply came after his heart skipped two beats.

I don’t wear them unless I’m taking a nice picture for a cutie.

Was It getting hot in his room or what? The three black dots glimmered again.

It’s better than your picture, that’s for sure.

Yoongi chuckled. His eyes roamed over the photo, so casual and free. Maybe she always used the same one on the same guys. Maybe she always had the same lines to get what she wanted. His mind went back to that night. Her elegant hand wiping her chin, smirk so satisfied that it made him smile. Knowing exactly what she was doing and loving every second of it.

His phone rang.

Yoongi stared at it, the number flashing. Should he answer? Did he dare answer that smirk?

He pressed the green button and brought it to his ear.

“… Hello?”

“Hello, Min Yoongi.”

He did not expect her voice. Graceful, calm. Not breathy and desperate, but soothing, pleasant. As if this call wasn’t going to have the nature that his dick was eagerly waking up for.

“I must say, usually the first approach is at a party when I’m five shots in,” she chuckled into his ear.

Yoongi licked his lips distractedly. “You could be five shots in. I wouldn’t know.”

She laughed, almost melodic. “I could be, but I am not. Not for you, Yoongi.”

His eyes flickered to his computer. Clicked a few times. He played some random playlist before leaning back in his computer chair.

“Oh? Are you at the club?” Teasing, amused.

Yoongi chuckled. “No, that’s just my music.” He cleared his throat. “Music I made.”

“Ah. Namjoon did say you were talented in many aspects.”

He stared up at the ceiling. “It’s true then.”

She hummed, rustling in her bed. “It is.”

“You fuck them and take their clothes.”

She laughed again, so dangerous and harmonious it was making his heart ache. “No, no, Yoongi. I only take their clothes if they’re good. If they’re terrible, I don’t bother.”

He raised an eyebrow. “So, all my friends were good.”

“Mmm, well,” she replied softly. “You already knew that. No need to try to slight me.”

She was unfazed by his little jab, parrying it swiftly. Yoongi smirked.

“You’re honest.”

“And you’re astute.” He felt butterflies dancing in his stomach at her compliment. “As well as being attractive. A good combination.”

He puffed his cheeks. “Basic flattery doesn’t suit you.”

“Ah, it’s not that. I said it because you want to hear it.”

Yoongi sucked in a tight breath.

“But I don’t have to tell you,” she continued, voice dripping into him, brushing against his arousal, igniting it. “I could show you. It’s much more effective.”

He found himself breathing harder than he thought. He cleared his throat. “How did you know I wanted to hear it?” he circumvented, trying to calm himself.

“I didn’t,” she responded simply. “I guessed. And now I know.”

Shit.

Yoongi’s eyes flickered to his bedroom door. He stood up, quickly locking it. His black sweatpants were baggy, but not baggy enough to hide his hard-on. His lips formed her name, quietly.

“Yes, Yoongi?” The soft, lazy purr, nudging him. Spurring him.

“What are you doing?”

He made his way to his bed, step by step, listening to her voice.

“On my bed, in my red dress.” Her tone changed, more smokey. “It’s nice and tight. Almost too tight.”

Yoongi climbed onto his bed, arranging the pillows. “Did you wear it just for me?”

“Mmm, that would be poetic, but in this case, you merely have good timing,” she murmured. “I was trying it on and debating on if I should keep it. It’s not my usual style.”

“Because your usual style is stolen men’s clothes.”

She laughed again, that attractive laugh that he was beginning to get addicted to. “It’s a little more feminine than I’m used to.”

“I like it. Wear it for me.”

He heard her pause. Then her voice came back to him, amused. “Simple, but silver-tongued.”

Yoongi laid against his pillow mountain, back against his headboard. “Some would call it my tongue technology.”

“Some? Or just you?”

“You will once you feel it.”

He heard her sharp intake of breath. “Is that a promise?”

“It can be.”

Her soft exhale tickled his ear. His heart thudded in his chest.

“Hey, Yoongi.”

He breathed her name like smoke. His voice was deep with arousal.

“I want to fuck you.”

He let out a raspy chuckle. “Yeah? Do you even know what I look like?”

“Mhm.” Her seductive exhale, almost a moan. “I have pictures. Lots of them. Thanks to your adorable friends.”

“So, they are good for something.”

“You have nice hands.”

Yoongi felt his breathing hasten. When had he started palming himself? He couldn’t remember. He just knew she had entered his atmosphere and all he could do was listen to the show.

“Nice hands I want on my body.” He pressed his fingers on his clothed length, feeling it throb against them. “Makes me wet thinking about it.” He opened his mouth to ask to listen, but then he heard it. The wet, tight squelching of warm flesh. A wispy moan left his lips. Her voice came back and his hand slipped under the waistband of his sweatpants. “Ah, it would be much better if this was your fingers.” He heard the ruffle of pillows as she fell against them. Her moan was louder, unashamed. “Two of them, stuffed all the way inside me.”

He swallowed, pulling his cock out of his pants. “Can’t take more than that?”

She chuckled. “So greedy. I want to enjoy you.”

Yoongi could hear the sloppy sounds of her fingering herself roughly. “Stroke your clit for me.”

She made a satisfied little whine. He could hear her pace quicken. His hand wrapped around his stiff length, moving slowly. Her soft noises fascinated him, so gentle but needy at the same time. He wanted to watch. To see her face as she made them.

“Hah,” he muttered. “You’re making me so fucking hard.”

A mischievous little snicker. “Would you let me touch it, Yoongi? Let me jack you off?” Her words were becoming less elegant, dirtier. He liked this evolution. “Or do you want my lips around your cock, the head all the way down my throat?”

He moaned right into the microphone, pumping himself faster, harder. Her name on his lips, dragged out with his pants.

“Or do you want to be in my pussy?” she continued, breathless, the wet thrusting sounds getting louder, more filthy, more erotic. “Do you want to be in this tight little hole, sucking you in, clenched around your cock?”

“Fuck,” he groaned, burying his face into his pillows, praying Jungkook couldn’t hear him. “I bet you’re so fucking good.”

She chuckled, sensual and dark. “You’ll know soon.” Her breathing quickened, words dripping with lust as she drawled into his ear. “Faster, Yoongi. Want you to cum for me.” He gasped, trying to cut it short by biting his lower lip. “That’s right, I can hear you. I can hear you jacking yourself off and I like it,” she whispered softly. “I want to hear you orgasm, Yoongi. Want to hear my name come out of those pretty pink lips.”

He whined, clutching his phone to his ear, stroking himself furiously. “What about you?”

The smuggest little snicker gracing his ear.

“I stopped. So I can wait for you. So you can finish me with those beautiful hands of yours. So I can have that silver tongue on my clit, driving me insane, leaking into your mouth, hips fucking your face.”

Yoongi was losing it. Slowly, but surely. He wanted to stop too, wanted to pause so he could tease her too, but his hand couldn’t stop, smearing his leaking pre-cum over his throbbing cock, the head angry and red, pulsing against his palm as she spoke. Her carnal voice taking him somewhere else, somewhere where he had to shove his face into his pillows, trying not to be too loud, trying to hold himself back, phone jammed against his mouth to let her hear him and his desperation.

“And then I’m going to let you fuck my pussy, any way you like. From the front, from behind, riding you, against the wall, on the bed, on a table,” she breathed. His legs were shaking with strain, so close, so fucking close. “Because I want you, Yoongi, you and your hands, your breath against my skin, you cock stretching me out, ruining me.”

He pressed his lips against the bottom of his smartphone and wantonly moaned, hot white strands of his own cum squirting out in between his fingers, running down his hand. He gritted his teeth, squeezing the head and heightening the pleasure, letting it release all over him in shudders, thighs trembling at the ecstasy. He panted into mic, not caring that he sounded winded, not minding at all because the delicious moan she made back at him was desperate with desire.

Yoongi smiled.

His hand was a dirty mess.

“Let me text you my address,” he growled. “Wear the dress.”

-

“Oh! Lamb skewers!”

Jungkook devoured them happily. Yoongi ate slower, calmly holding the end of the wooden stick with the hand he used to jack off with fifteen minutes earlier. Delivery was fast these days.

“Are you in a good mood, hyung?” Jungkook said curiously. “You’re smiling.”

Yoongi chewed deliberately.

The sauce coated his lips. He licked it off slowly, thinking.

“You always eat so much. Watching you makes me feel full and proud, like a dad.”

Jungkook beamed.

-

Yoongi wanted to throw Jungkook out of his apartment.

He liked him. Really. Great kid. Ate a lot. Also, cute.

But Jeon Jungkook and his giant backpack was a massive cockblock right now. Yoongi was pissed watching Jungkook collect his books and stuff them into his hundred-centimeter duffel backpack. Who the fuck needed a bag that big? What the fuck was in there? Why did he need all that shit just to come over and study? The hell was he studying? The intricates of the female orgasm? Because that was the only subject that would require that many books.

He stood in his kitchen, washing the dishes, staring at Jungkook with a blank expression. Inside, he was fuming.

His eyes shifted to the window. She had texted saying she was waiting in her car. Just chilling, totally fine. A muscle in his face twitched. Jungkook, Yoongi thought bitterly, if you become the reason that I don’t get that delicious voice and wet ass pussy tonight, I will personally make sure you can never orgasm aga–

“Okay, hyung, I think I got everything. You sure you don’t want help?” Jungkook said cheerfully, shouldering his backpack.

“I’m already done,” Yoongi said impassionedly, wiping his hands. The dishes were on the drying rack now and his hands were clean, free of soap. “You have your phone?” he asked, a little more patiently and with less indication that he wanted to murder him. Jungkook didn’t seem to notice, checking his pockets for his wallet and phone. He pulled out a smartphone from his pocket.

Not his phone.

Yoongi swooped over, picking up Jungkook’s phone from the couch and snatching his own from Jungkook’s hands.

“Ah, sorry, hyung, I thought it was mine,” Jungkook apologized, looking sheepish as Yoongi handed him his actual phone.

“I have an Android,” Yoongi said placidly, cramming his phone into his pocket. “Alright, off with you. I need to sleep.”

Jungkook chuckled deep in his chest. “You’re always sleeping, hyung.”

“Because I always need sleep,” Yoongi mumbled, heading for the door as Jungkook yanked on his chunky black sneakers. He opened the door, shooing him out like an old grandpa. Jungkook grinned, bowing a little.

“Thanks for the meal, hyung.”

“You’re welcome, Jungkook.”

And he waved as Jungkook bounded away, his long strides taking him across the hall. Jungkook was the type of kid to take stairs them two at a time. Yoongi waited until he was at the end of the hall before closing the door. He hoped Jungkook would make it home okay. It was quite late already.

He pulled out his phone. No messages. Whew.

His doorbell rang.

Yoongi groaned, spinning around. “The fuck did Jungkook forget now–” he muttered as he opened the door.

It was not Jungkook.

At least, Jungkook had not worn sleek black pumps, or have the most delicious looking legs on earth, paired with the most fuckable hips crammed in a tiny red dress, breasts perfectly molded by lush fabric, gorgeous collarbones (eh, a maybe on that one), and plump lips with mischievous eyes.

“Hello, Min Yoongi.”

She sounded exactly how she did on the phone. No, better. She had a voice that made him want to tell her everything. But that was crazy. This whole thing was crazy.

His lips parted. “You do this all the time, huh?”

She tilted her head. “Actually,” she said casually, turning her phone in her hand, car keys jangling. “No. I don’t think I’ve ever made a house call for a guy I’ve only spoken to on the phone.” She smirked, eyes glittering. “Especially not for a guy who takes pictures of me when I’m not looking.”

He swallowed. “The first one I was drunk.”

She cocked an eyebrow. “And the second?”

He blinked, ears burning. “I wasn’t drunk.”

She swung the keys around a finger. “Ah, I see.” She leaned forward in his doorframe, lashes lowering, looking him up and down. He felt grossly underdressed in his skull graphic gray t-shirt and black sweatpants. Literally the same outfit he was wearing when he jacked off earlier to this voice.

“You have a cum stain on your pants.”

Yoongi jerked back, staring down at his sweatpants, but she laughed, arms around her waist, pushing her breasts together. His eyes fixated on her tits instantly and then he snapped his head away, not wanting to be rude.

“I wanted to know if that was the same outfit you masturbated in earlier,” she purred. “Did I guess right, Yoongi?”

He chewed on is lip and his eyes flickered back to her, narrowing. “Isn’t that what you were wearing when you were begging for my fingers to be inside you?”

“This is exactly what I was wearing,” she replied, unperturbed by his comment. “Except I was wearing panties then.”

His eyes widened. He looked down at her hips, taut in the red velvet, then back up to her face.

“You’re lying.”

She tilted her head at him, amused. “Invite me in and find out.”

He raised an eyebrow. “Are you a vampire?”

She shook her head. “No, Yoongi. I am asking for consent.” Her smile was patient, demure. “Once that door closes behind me, I’m going to be all over you.” Eyes piercing into him. “I’m going to kiss you, touch you, let you touch me, take your clothes off, take my clothes off, and we're going to fuck.”

His heart was beating so fast that Yoongi wasn’t sure he was in his own body. Surely, he was too sluggish as a human being to be this turned on by a woman he barely knew standing in his front doorstep in red dress. His cock was so hard that he was pretty sure his brain was low on oxygen.

“In that order?”

Smile so charming he was falling. “Doesn’t have to be.”

He took a step back.

“Come in.”

She took a step into his apartment, heels against the hardwood. Click. His eyes traveled up that leg, remembering the first blurry picture. Click. Second leg, the memory of the second picture at that large house, wiping her chin. And now, in high definition.

One of her arms snaked around his waist, pulling him to her soft body. Yoongi gasped, suddenly close to her face, her warm, herbal scent tickling his nose. Eyes shimmering, already enamored with him. The last thing he saw before her lips pressed against his, soft like rice cake, but sweeter, lovelier. He moaned and she inhaled, taking his breath away, holding him against her body. He spoke against her lips, not trying to move away. Not wanting to.

“I haven’t closed the door yet,” he mumbled.

He felt her smile, looking at him with half-lidded eyes. “Ah. I jumped the gun.”

With a flick of her ankle, she kicked the door out of in his hand, shutting it abruptly. Yoongi jumped, hand suddenly holding nothing, thoroughly impressed that she just did that. In heels, no less.

“Is that better?” she purred.

He lowered his hand, placed it on her waist. Looked into her playful eyes, wondering how many others looked into these eyes and felt the same way he did, like he couldn’t escape, like he was pulled in an inescapable gravity.

“You look better up close, Yoongi,” she said softly. “I knew you would.”

He chuckled wryly. “You don’t even know me.”

There was something perceptive in that smile. “I’m about to.” Her other arm snaked around him, fingers slipping under his t-shirt. “Is there anything you want to know about me?”

He tensed as he felt her fingertips brush against his lower back. “Major?”

“Psychology.”

Somehow, he wasn’t surprised.

“Do you regularly test for…?”

She smirked a little. “I do. I tested three days ago. Clean.” Her nails crawled up his spine, sending shivers up and down. “Haven’t fucked since my last test. You?”

Yoongi snorted. “I haven’t had sex since the semester started. And I had a full clinical checkup before classes began.”

She hummed knowingly. “You have condoms at least, don’t you?”

“Yeah, I bought them when…” Yoongi trailed off. Her eyebrow arched elegantly. He was about to say he bought a box when Namjoon gave him her number, but somehow that sounded incredibly fucked up to say. She leaned forward and pressed her lips against his cheek, up his jaw, to his ear.

“When you realized you wanted to fuck me?”

He stiffened. No, Yoongi straight-up froze, and more than one part of him hardened up.

She rolled her hips into his, exposing him. He gasped, trying to pull away, but immediately rocked back into her as she dug her nails into his back, scratching him up. His fingers tightened into the red velvet, sliding down to her hips. Pressing down, feeling nothing but smoothness.

“You… really didn’t…”

She licked his earlobe, playing with his earrings. “I’m not a liar, Yoongi.” She pulled back, so self-satisfied and confident Yoongi thought he as going to pass out. “Lift it up. Go ahead and see.”

He wanted to. Yoongi wanted to, but this was his front door. And he didn’t want to fuck here.

Not this time anyway.

He chewed on his lip and pulled out of her grasp. She let him go, eyes still on him, amused.

“Shoes off.”

She kicked her black heels off lazily with two swift flicks. Poised and perfect and entirely aware of the effect it had on him. But, somehow, Yoongi couldn’t be mad. He was breathing hard, following the line of her legs, to her hips, to her breasts, to that face. He backed up slowly, and she followed, each stride with grace, the small smile on her lips. They made their way to his bedroom like that. She paused at his desk, putting down her phone and keys. Her eyes spied the mountain of pillows he had created, the clear indent of where he had been laying earlier.

Yoongi raised a finger. “Don’t say it.”

Her smirk widened. Closed the distance between them, taking his wrist. Then her pink tongue slid out, wrapping around his finger. Yoongi’s eyes widened, feeling her warm saliva coat him, breath so hot his cock was fighting against his pants, tongue moving so expertly that it was clear she knew what she was doing.

Yoongi was beginning to realize how she completed her conquests.

“Want this finger in me,” she breathed. “And as many as you can fit.”

He sank his teeth into his lower lip and reached forward with his other hand. Her eyes watched him as he traced the short hem of her dress. Hooking a few fingers under, tugging it upwards. His breathing hitched, watching the velvet bunched up, sinking into her softness. So tight that he had to slowly unravel it over her ass, swallowing hard as he felt her skin. Her bare pussy came into view. Already dripping wet, her juices smeared in her inner thighs because of how tight the dress was.

Yoongi’s eyes traveled back up to hers. She closed her lips and pulled his finger out of her mouth slowly, sucking a little, eyes penetrating him.

His heartbeat skipped at the dirty display of power.

She lowered his hand, still holding his finger in place. Turned his wrist, spread her legs a little. Every action deliberate, absolutely aware he was watching. She lifted another of his fingers, pressing it against the saliva-covered one. Pressed them both against her wetness. He gasped as he felt the slippery warmth. Her lips parted, speaking familiar words that were spoken in his bedroom before (at least through his phone), in the same seductive tone that made his heart race and stomach flutter.

“Two of them, stuffed all the way inside me.”

And then she shoved them into her pussy, all the way to the knuckles. Yoongi moaned involuntarily, suddenly feeling her tight walls clenching around him. She grabbed his shirt and knocked him against her, moaning with him, eyes closing in bliss.

“F-fuck…” she gasped. “I knew your fingers would be amazing.”

She rolled her hips onto his hand and whatever hesitation Yoongi had was quickly smothered by his arousal, forcefully suffocating it as he gripped her head, crashing his lips to hers, breathing in her scent and intoxicating himself. He moved his hand himself, thrusting them into her as she cried out against his lips. Yoongi took the moment to snake his tongue into her mouth, rubbing it against hers teasingly. She retreated her own hand as he set up his pace, savoring in the loud squelching noises.

“Are you enjoying me?” he whispered against her skin, scissoring his fingers.

Her nails dug into his shirt, hissing in satisfaction. “So very much, Yoongi.”

He kissed past her chin, to her neck, exposing her throat. Her hand sank down to the waistband of his sweatpants. He licked her hot skin, feeling the blood pulse in her veins.

“Can I?”

She snickered. “Do whatever you want to me.”

He placed his lips onto her neck, sucking hard. She gasped enticingly, fingers slipping under. Dragging his sweatpants down as he paired his fingers with pain, a prickling bite that had her body shivering under him. And yet, she still tugged down his boxer briefs, whimpering as he sank his teeth in, sucking harder. His hard cock bounced into her waiting palm, desperate to be touched by a different hand.

Yoongi unlocked his jaw, licking his bite softly as she stroked him, slowly. Fuck. Fuck, the kind of touch that was too much and not enough all at once. He dipped his head to that slope between your shoulder and neck. Biting again as she bucked into his fingers, fucking him back as she gradually pumped his cock to full hardness.

The chuckle in her throat vibrated into his teeth.

“Saw all those hickeys they left me and wanted to add your own?”

His answer was sucking harder, inserting another finger into her. She gasped, her own hand pausing, moaning his name as he went faster, shoving his fingers into her roughly. Growling deeply, knowing she was close with how intensely she was squeezing him now. She tipped her head back, biting her lip hard to muffle her louder cries.

So Yoongi shoved his pinky in her too.

“A-ah, Yoongi!”

That’s what he wanted. He wanted her to blurt out his name in surprise, clutching his shirt so hard it was straining against his back as she came all over his hand, juices sliding down her titillating thighs as she clamped them around his wrist, sucking in tight breaths as she rode out her high, completely forgetting she had been jacking him off seconds before.

He didn’t care. This was just payback for earlier.

Yoongi yanked out his fingers from between her legs. She whimpered, leaning against him, hand releasing his shirt, panting hard. He put them in his mouth, relishing in her taste as it flooded his mouth, thick, sweet and addictive.

“Better than being five shots in?” he mumbled, licking the hickeys he left.

She laughed, the sound tingling his ears. “I could do ten and still be fine.”

He raised his eyebrows. “That’s impossible.”

“General anesthesia doesn’t work on me either, so it’s not all positive.”

She traced patterns on his gray shirt. He smirked, his free hand finding the zipper of her dress. Down, down, down.

“You want it already?”

Naughty eyes found his. “Oh, I’m definitely taking it from you.”

He pushed the straps off her shoulders, rolling the velvet dress down. It stopped at her hips, unable to go any further without ripping.

“Damn, this thing is tighter than a condom.”

She chuckled, gently brushing his hands away and lifting it over her head. It was only then that Yoongi realized her naked breasts, nipples already hard, bouncing with her movement.

“That’s why I said I was thinking about returning. None of my bras fit under it.”

Unashamed, Yoongi placed his hands on her tits, sinking his fingers into the softness. He bit his lip, rubbing his palm against her nipples, earning a wispy moan.

“Absolutely not,” he whispered, narrowing his eyes at her playfully. “I won’t allow you to return it.”

She raised an eyebrow. “Should I wear it to a party then?”

Yoongi shrugged. “If I’m at it and you’re willing to bounce on my dick in front of everyone with it on, then yes.”

She snickered. “I have some self-preservation, even if it’s not much.”

He shrugged again. “Then I will settle for private lap dances.”

This was better than over the phone. He could see her amused smile, hear the soft noises she made when he touched her. And he actually could touch her, which was the most important part.

He tugged at her breasts, pulling her towards him into a kiss. She sighed into his lips, hands coming up to cup his face, tangling in his hair as he led her to the bed, losing his pants and underwear in the process. He played with her nipples, soft and hard, easily able to be held in two fingers and rubbed with a third. She whined against his kisses, trapped by his tongue as he lowered her to the side of the bed.

“Going to use this silver tongue on me?” she murmured, catching his lower lip in her teeth.

He shivered, pulling away. “Interested in the tongue technology, aren’t you?” he teased.

She watched him kiss down her neck, her chest, licking her nipples and sucking on them. She moaned, leaning back against the sheets as he spread her legs with his hands, pecks down her stomach, lower and lower, her heavenly, heavy scent burning into his memory. His knees hit the floor, her legs over the side of the bed. Eyes shifting back to hers as he hovered over her sex, blowing a steady stream of cool air onto the hotness. She shuddered, thighs trembling in his hands.

Yoongi made sure to memorize this image for future purposes.

Just in case he was alone and she couldn’t be there.

He leaned forward and ran his tongue over her folds, licking up her residual orgasm. Oh, fuck. It was almost better this way, with her pussy adding heat to the taste. He pressed his lips against her opening, moaning as he felt her walls clench and throb. Yoongi cocked an eyebrow and she grinned down at him. His tongue slid out, finding the sensitive nub immediately. He latched his lips around it, soft but repeated kitten licks with suction.

Her leg muscles tensed in his hands as she panted above him, hips jutting into his face. He smirked knowingly, increasing the pressure and the suction, brows furrowing as he concentrated, committing every movement, every sound, every breathless whisper of his name to memory. Yoongi had eaten a lot of pussy in his short lifetime. He knew he was good at it and he had been asked to do it often. But never had it been like this, so erotic with her pussy thickly dripping onto his chin, so sensual with her soft thighs and sighs, his name, his name, coming out of the that mouth in that smokey seductive tone, empowering him like no other.

Yoongi never knew he could be desired like this and he loved it.

Perhaps a bit too much, because his cock was leaking onto his own thighs, making a fucking mess.

“I’m going to cum, Yoongi,” she gritted out. “Going to cum al over your handsome face and pretty pink lips, fuck.”

He momentarily forgot about his mess as he increased the intensity and speed, pushing her to the edge, delicate whines tearing from her throat as he did so, her swollen clit throbbing in his mouth as she came, his name a helpless wail, her thighs threatening to slam shut around his head.

To be honest, if his death was suffocation by pussy, Yoongi would take it.

Her orgasm gushed into his mouth and he drank it greedily, moaning at how delicious it was, maybe even sweeter than the first one. He would remember this taste, possibly forever.

Yoongi would definitely taste it again. He was going to make sure of that.

He stood up, her legs on the side of his bed, chest heaving as she caught her breath. He went to his night stand and took out a condom, shedding his shirt and tossing it on the bed. Her eyes shot to it immediately and he smirked.

“I’ll let you have it, don’t worry.”

He stood in front of her, rolling the condom on.

“Like this?” she asked quietly, smiling.

“Yes, like this.” Yoongi lifted her legs, pulling her a little closer. “Look at me.”

Her gaze locked with his.

He slid in easily, the mixture of lubricant, his saliva, her juices letting him in, inviting him. Oh, God. If her overwhelming warmth and tight clench as he fully entered wasn’t enough, her satisfied moan was certainly enough, stroking his ego and his dick. Even if it was fleeting boost, he wanted it and he was getting it as he pulled out a little and smacked his hips into hers, making sure to keep the angle that had her abused clit running across his length as he thrust into her.

“F-fuck, Yoongi,” she panted. “Why do you feel so good?”

He chuckled darkly. “You tell me.”

She tightened around him and he groaned, forcefully slamming his hips to reach deeper. She whimpered, clutching his sheets, tits bouncing as he fucked her, already knowing he was addicted, already knowing he would be back for more because she was so warm, so tight, so fucking feral with how desperate she was sounding on his cock, asking for more, more, until he placed her legs on his shoulders and fucked her hard into the side of the bed, ramming her into the mattress, fingers pressed into her ass to keep her in place.

“Yes, Yoongi, fuck yes, I’m going to cum–”

Words turning into a shuddering gasp as she came again, around his cock this time, throbbing and running shocks of pleasure all over his length. Thanks to him masturbating earlier, he didn’t cum right away, instead pounding her through the first orgasm and demanding her to chase another, nails digging into her ass. Her knuckles were white, buried into his sheets, twisting, messing them up and almost pulling them off the bed with how intensely he was lewdly slapping their hips together, probably going to get the police called on him, but he didn’t care (and perhaps they would simply cheer him on, because holy shit, her open mouth moaning his name was hot as fuck).

“You going to cum with me?” he hissed, spanking her ass hard.

She let out a satisfied little whine. “You want me to hold back that long?”

Yoongi smacked the other cheek. A lustful whimper now. “I’m close, come on, come on…”

She set her jaw and rose her hips to meet his, intensifying the feeling, pupils blown wide with glistening lust as she fucked him back, the sound even louder, harsher, better than porn. Or maybe they were porn, because at this point, Yoongi really couldn’t tell. His cock was straining, hammering into her walls as he felt his core tighten, the familiar overstretched-guitar-string tautness signaling his crescendo, warning him. He sucked in his lower lip, eyes on her shapely lips forming his name.

“Cum with me, fuck,” he gasped, pleasure slamming into him as he pushed all the way in one last time, shocking every nerve with endorphins, flowing over his entire body, so good that his legs shook. She moaned and he felt her peak too as his cock shot into the condom, her walls throbbing around him and squeezing him for all he was worth, draining him, sucking it all out.

It was euphoria.

Yoongi thought to himself that he really, really should have sent that picture earlier.

-

They sat on his bed after cleaning up, naked. Leaning against his pillow tower, her head against his shoulder, their clothes everywhere and his lips on her neck, adding more love bites. He paused for a moment, pulling his head back to stare at her profile.

"You fuck them because you want to know them."

She turned her head slowly, eyes finding his. 

"Because it excites you," Yoongi continued. "It turns you on when you figure someone out, when you learn about someone new through fucking. They're all different and you love that. You crave that."

Her lips curved into a sly, yet apologetic, smile. "Sex reveals a lot about a person."

"That's why you don't commit. You want to discover more, to fuck everyone who interests you."

She chuckled. Her hand reached over and grasped his gray t-shirt, pulling it to her. She slipped it over her head. It draped over her entire body, far too big. She leaned over, looking into his eyes, breath against his lips. 

"You're very clever, Yoongi," she whispered. There was an indescribable emotion in her eyes. "And attractive, as I said before." She inhaled softly, closing her eyes. She kissed him, lightly. Then she straightened, standing up. Looking hot as hell in his t-shirt, messy and pretty in his hickeys.

"I would like to see you again," she said simply, smiling. "I think I won't be able to get enough of you."

Yoongi smirked. 

 -

He's staring at you.

The party was way too loud for Yoongi's taste, but he also wasn't drunk enough to tolerate it either. He was the self-appointed designated driver, so he had to be alcohol-free. He did, however, find a way to occupy himself. 

Yoongi didn't bother to look up. He knew she was reading his text. 

I’m aware. Spied your hickey, I assume?

Yoongi wanted to smile. He really did, but he knew Jeon Jungkook was watching him now. That's why he had left the louder vibration setting on his phone when he normally had it on silent. Yoongi kept his face neutral, emotionless as he typed a response. 

I let him see it. 

Yoongi snuck a glance at Jungkook. He looked ready to pop a vein. Excellent. 

"I'll be right back."

Yoongi raised an eyebrow. Hm. He typed again. 

You should run. He looks pissed.

There was a sudden ruckus as she ran out of the party, Jungkook shoving through the crowd in a race to follow. Yoongi chuckled under his breath, highly amused. He reached into his pockets to grab his headphones. Searched Spotify for some old-school rap and waited for the inevitable conversation. He had his reply prepared when Jungkook would ask about how she was wearing the same shirt he was wearing yesterday.

Is it that weird for a girl to own a shirt I also bought from a store?

Yoongi smirked.

She really was so much fun.

--

masterpost

[stcveskent]

his forever; andy barber

warnings: fluff, swearing, idk

pairings: andy barber x reader

part 2 of his comfort.

part 1

___________

Working in your office just like usual, you looked over at the door opening, and noticed a guy looking at you, you knew who it was, Jake, one of your best friends and one of the best colleagues.

"What're you doing Jake?" You asked and he laughed, you smiled at him, he was a very clumsy guy, but a very very nice man, he was like a brother to you, and you were like his sister ofc.

Recently he mentioned about his girlfriend, Amy, who was working with you too, and they were in love, they were so different but they were in love, it all started four years ago for them.

"Jake?! I know you need my help." You said and he acted shocked and then started rambling.

"What me? Jake? Never i can do anything —yes y/n i need your help!" He says and you laughed.

"Come on tell me, what is it about?" You allowed him to sit and he tells you everything.

"Four years ago, Amy and I got together, i just want to propose her." He says, you cover your mouth, and he looks around, you were closest to Jake, you were so happy for him, that he finally decides to make a move.

"Oh my god! Jake yes! I'm so happy for you!!" You said and he smiles looking at your expression. He hugged you and you were so happy for Amy for finally finding her forever in them.

"Alright, so i wanna chose a ring, and you were Amy's friend before Me, and i want you to help me, because you're also my best friend, like pleaseeeee?" He asked and you were glad to do so.

"Ofcourse Jakey! I would love to, when and where?"

"Today after work, we'll meet at the nearest Jewelry store okay?"

"Ofcourse! See you later!" You said and he hugged you again before leaving, and you got to work again, filling the paper work correctly, and later you got over it.

You walked out of your office, locking it, as your boss said that you need to lock it before you leave and you did it. You walked in the parking lot, and noticed the similar car.

You tried to ignore it before the window goes down, and reveals Andy, you smiled in surprise at how he came here, he gets out of his car, with a bouquet of a bunch of roses in his hand.

"Hey! What a surprise!?" You says as he hugs you, and kissed your forehead, and you smiled at how he would make you feel fresh after work with just an act of closure.

"Had to stop by to see my best girl." He says and you smiled.

"'Nuff the fake talk." You said and he rolled his eyes.

"Seriously, Y/n, you're my only family i have left with." He says and your eyes soften, he called you family and it was cute, at how expressive he would've become.

"Andy, aww!" You said hugging him again.

"Here are flowers for you." He says and you smiled.

"Thank you, really! They're my favorite!" You squeeled in excitement, and just then Jake came near you too.

"Hey! Y/n!" He called and you turned to him, and he smiled.

"Oh who's this?" He asked and you introduced them real quick.

"Jake, meet Andy, my best friend. Andy meet my work best friend, Jake." You introduced them and Jake shook hands with Andy.

"Great to see you, For real y/n I thought i was your best friend only in this world." He jokes and you laughed at Jake.

"Aww, poor Jake! Andy's got me in his life since forever." You said and he laughed with you, and right there Andy was broken for the second time in his life. He started falling for you, when you stayed at his place, on his bed, next to him, the next morning when he woke up next to you, you laying peacefully in his arms, your glow, your beautiful smile made him fall for you.

"Can we go for lunch?" Andy asked and you nodded

"Let's go!" You said as Jake whispered into your ears about meeting him after lunch. You sat down in his car, and he sat on the driver's seat, he looked tensed, but you felt that it was just work, probably.

Well it wasn't, he was jealous, after so many years, he felt jealous, when any other male got close to you, just so like Andy in school days back then.

For lunch, he chose your favorite restaurant, and you were just falling for him even more, everyday, and it felt so wrong for you, because he was so hurt, and wasn't probably looking for a commitment or a relationship but you wanted him so much.

You two were sitting and waiting for the waiter to get your food, and just when he tries to ask something the waiter comes in with the food, he sighs again focusing on the food.

"So, what, did Jake ...whisper in your ears?" He asked, while he took a bite of his food. A shocked smile over your face, Andy never asked who you talked to, or what did they say you, but he was interested for the first time.

"What?" He asks looking up, meeting your expression, which made him feel stupid.

"no-nothing! Jake wanted to see me, that's all." You said, that made Andy very mad, and very jealous at the same time. He hated Jake so much now, before even getting to know him.

"oh! t-that's fine, i guess..." he says and takes a bite of his food again, and starts to cough, you look at him, and go to his side, rub his back, and he breathes heavily, and you offered him water.

"you okay?" You asked and he nods, smiling at you.

Time passed, and you were at his place, while he prepared some coffee for the two of you, you were supposed to be seeing, Jake anytime he called, to help him ofcourse.

"Here you go!" He says, and offers you one cup of coffee, and you smiled, taking a sip of the special andy barber coffee. Andy always had a special way of making things, even if it was work, or food or anything, he would do it with his instructions which he makes up in his mind.

"So, how's work, assuming its great because you are." He asks and you chuckle.

"Pretty great, actually, how about you? How's everything, that dick still pushing you about things?" You asked and he clicks his tongue.

"Nah, he's fine, just because i put him to his place." He says and you scoffed. He loved that thing about you, when you rolled your eyes, annoyingly and scoff and mock him, he always used to melt at that sight.

Few minutes later, your phone starts to ring, and your attention turns towards your Phone, the contact read Jake, and you knew he needed you now.

"Sorry, i have to take this."

"ofcourse y/n." He says and smiles as you answered the call.

"Hey, i'll meet you near the shop." He said and you nodded.

"Alright, Jake, i'll see you there now." You said and Andy heard it, he wanted to know what was happening between you two. You ended the conversation, and looked at Andy.

"Hey, i-i have to go, now, i'll see you tomorrow?"

"Yes ofcourse, everything okay?"

"Yeah, just some work stuff." You replied, and picked your coat from the hook, near the door, and wore it before giving him the biggest hugs,and he kissed your head.

You left, and just 5 minutes later, Andy started to follow you, he knew it was wrong, but he was being jealous and possessive over you. He saw you park your car, and saw Jake waiting for you there with a huge smile at your sight.

Andy parked his car a bit far, from where he can see you, and just then, you hugged him. His grip tightened on the steering wheel.

"Hey!" You greeted him and embraced him in a warm hug. He hugged you back, and tangled his arm with yours, as a sweet, friendly nature. Andy looks at the shop you two were going, and it wad a jewelry store. He was curious, he felt like you were gonna marry him, or something.

He left. he couldn't take it anymore, and drove to his place, again, anger, jealousy took over him, he was so mad. At the sight of the vase in his house, he smashed it, angrily.

Jake started to ask you some questions while the staff packed his little surprise in the velvet box.

"So, your boyfriend?"

"What? Who?!" You asked and he gave you a huge smirk. You , still confused looked at him raising a brow.

"Andrew Barber, your hot asf boyfriend." He said and you blushed, the mention of his just makes you go crazy.

"We're just friends, nothing else.." you said and he scoffed.

"Yeah, alright Amy and I are also just friends."

"No! Really, there's nothing between the two of us." You said

"You love him don't you?" He asked and You smiled, looking at him.

"A lot." You said and he wraps an arm around you.

"He does too, i saw how jealous he looked when i wrapped an arm around you." He says and laughed along with you, and then you two got into work, again.

Meanwhile, Andy, He sighed and went to the kitchen to get a glass of water, and also a few beers, to lighten his mood.

The T.V played some random series, which he didn't pay attention to. One after one, Andy drank his drink, he was slowly feeling the light mood, which was him being drunk asf.

Soft laughs started to fall from his lips, which were your favorite, when he laughed like that, his hand losely fell over his phone, and he picked his phone in his hands, looking at it.

no missed calls, no messages, no replies nothing from you.

So what he did was dialed your number, and saw the pic of him and you together. Just then, you answered his call.

"Hey, Andy!" You smiled as Jake was now smirking at you. You two decided to have dinner with Amy, and that's where were you.

"Hey Y/n, you sound so beautiful." He says and you smiled.

"Thanks i guess!" You replied, his tone was different, and that wasn't really a very Andy-like.

"I love you so much! Don't marry Jake." He said and your heart literally stopped.

"W-what?" You asked

"I love you Y/n, i love you!!!! Don't you dare marry Jake! Or else i'll murder him." He yelled angrily.

"I'm not going to do that, Andy." You replied.

"Really? Oh god! I thought that i had to come down and ruin your wedding if you would marry him." He giggled and you were worried if he was okay or not.

"andy are you..drunk?" You asked and he laughed, you loved that laugh but right now you were concerned.

"No Y/n, i'm Andy, you literally just called me by my nAmEe." He says.

"Andy, baby listen to me—"

"You called me "baby" awww!! I love it!!" He says and you smile, jake and amy do a small "ooohhh" in the background.

"Yes i did, now listen to me, you'll be going to sleep now, okay?"

"i'll only go to sleep, if you say me you love me." He says and you sighed.

"Fine, I love you so much, Andy." You said and you heard his soft chuckles.

"I love you too, y/n, hell i love you so much more!!!! i'll go to sleep now, mwahh mwahh mwah." He says and passes out on the couch, and you ended the conversation. You only wished he really meant it, but he was drunk.

The night passes away, with a lot of twists and turns, and you decided to show up on his door, in the morning.

Him still passed out on the couch, heard the knock, and walks, thinking of who would be this early, at a weekend, but it was actually 11 a.m. a hand on his head, as the acts of previous nights decided to show its result.

He opens the door, and it revealed you, who just looked at him, and he just looks at you.

"Hey, come in." He says and you enter, and he goes in the kitchen. You look at him, as you sit on the couch near the kitchen counter.

"Fuck hangovers!!" He groaned, drinking water and you smiled.

"You wanna tell me something?" You asked and he looks at you confusingly.

"About?"

"Your assumption of last night?"

"Oh god—"

"You have 5 minutes, explain yourself!" You said.

"Okay, i know i made a mistake, I shouldn't have followed you , —"

"You followed me?! What?"

"Oh wait...you didn't know that?" He asked and you shook your head.

"What the fuck? Really Andy?!" You raised your voice and sighed and he scrunched his nose.

"I'm sorry Y/n, but listen, i know what I did was wrong, but please! I had my own reasons to do it."

"Why you think Jake's a bad guy? I work with him, since the past 5 years! Andy, he's like a brother to me!"

"Wait, Brother? Then what were you doing at the jewelers?"

"Jake wanted my help with the ring, so he could propose to his girlfriend, Amy!" You replied, and he sighed, slowly resting his fist on his forehead.

"What were your reasons?" You asked and he looked away, staying silent, and you sighed.

"I asked you a question, and I expect an Answer! Not a silent look!"

"Okay Fine! I love you! FUCK!" He yelled. Your expressions softened, and he felt like he ruined everything, he buries his head in his hands, and you cover your mouth, at how shocked you were

"Gosh! You must really hate me right now, I understand if you do—" just then you pressed your lips on his. Your arms slowly wrapped around his neck, and his arms around your waist, as he pulled you closer.

He was shocked, this was definitely not what he expected, but he really loved this. You pulled away, and rest your forehead against his. He smiles and you chuckled.

"I love you too, Andy." You replied and he kissed you again.

"I wanted this from so long!" He says and you smiled.

"Me too, but what you did was wrong, and Also, Jake was right about you being jealous of him." You chuckled and he sighed.

"I was, but you're only mine, so yes!" He says and you laugh, kissing him again.

"God please never stop doing that okay?" He replies making the both of you laugh.

Finally, after years both of you were together. Now you knew that whatever came through any of you or the both of you, you two can get over it together. You were happiest, it was definitely the best day of your life, and his too. With such a great day, comes great memories, and many great memories will be made, in the future, forever. You were his forever, already, and he was yours too.

________

okay I don't like this one 😭

taglist(those who asked for part 2):

@whxre4cevans @ilikeeverythingx

[jjfics]

Rosemary and Thyme - On The Run | 02

ship: Five Hargreeves x Female!Reader 

summary: The Reader has killed someone and now the Hargreeves and her have to hide. So they look for shelter in the only place they know would welcome them: The Reader’s former employer. 

series: read part 1 here

author: jane jack aka your girl jjfics 

words: 3250 

warnings: mentions of death, murder, blood and homelesness, feelings of uncertainty and anxiety, flashbacks, angst, guns, allusion to smut (does not happen though, i’ve cut it right before), smoking 

a/n: i definitely did not expect it to be seen. i know 100 notes is not a lot, but i think i did pretty well for my second imagine out there, huh. thanks guys, for reading. i hope this one is just as great (or who knows, maybe better?). let me know if anyone would like a part 3. -jj

tags: @nimusicaltrash​ :3

Vanya and Allison were asleep in the backseat. Klaus, cramped between them, waved around a magazine he picked up from the last gas station you stopped at. Luther and Diego were discussing plans in the back, on the second row of seats. 

Five took the passenger seat, he was very tired from all the driving. He refused to make any stops at all until it was absolutely necessary. The dark circles around his eyes begged him to sleep, but he couldn’t. All he could feel was stress and desperation. I have to get my family to safety, he would think. 

Your now clean hands were clenched around the wheel of the car. The city was getting closer every moment and you unconsciously pressed harder on the gas pedal.

“Hey, hey! Careful there, I can’t read well when you go that fast” Klaus whined and you sighed. Right.

You saw Five look at his watch as he started bumping his right foot anxiously. Just a couple of metres away stood the “Welcome to Dallas” board.

“On time?” you ask, trying not to panic.

“Exactly on time” he reassures you with a nod. “Are you ready?” Ready? You were terrified.

“You’ll be okay. I’ll come inside with you, just in case.”

“What do you think old John can do to harm me?” 

John was your boss in the 60s. Your salvation. He was mesmerized by your voice that day at the bakery, and he kept asking people around until he found you. It was your second night sleeping under the open sky, and little did you know it was all going to change. He made you a star. One makeover later and a lot of clothing stores you basically swapped lives with Allison. He let you live in the apartment above the club. 

And he was probably also six feet under right now. 

“Oh I wouldn’t be worried about him.” Five replies sarcastically. “Maybe he has a son. Whoever is in charge of the place, might be an issue for us.”

“What do you mean?”

“I just… What if he won’t cooperate? What if he won’t understand, or worse, give us to the police…” after he said that, he looked zoned out for a moment, as if he was going through all the possible ways your plan could fail. 

If the police found you, you would be going straight to jail. There was no doubt that the Hargreeves could pay for your bail. So no worries with the police, really. But you were never going to be a free woman. The Commission would search for you, and if you killed one of them again, they would send new men after you until they made sure you were gone for good. As gone as the one you saw bleed to death. 

You put your hand on his knee as you turned left onto the main street. If the club was still standing it should be just around the corner. 

His attention switched back to you and he scoffed quietly. “Look at us. Just a couple of hours ago you were the one having a panic attack and now it’s my turn.”

A small smile appeared on your face. “We’re a team, remember?” And he mirrored the expression just before you parked the car. 

“Alright everybody, listen up!” he shouts so that everyone would turn and look at him. The sisters woke up too. They were all on the same train now. “Me and y/n are going to walk inside this club and arrange something so we’ll sleep safely for tonight. Vanya is going to wait in the car, ready to drive away and help us escape. Diego and Luther will wait outside. Got it?” Diego raised an eyebrow but Five continued “Just in case anything happens. You never know.” 

“I’ll wait with them, I need to breathe some fresh air” Allison said as she stretched her arms as far as she could in the small van. 

“Alright then” Five said, looking at the main entrance of the club through the passenger window. “Let’s get to this y/n” he gave you a small smile. 

You searched for his hand and squeezed it gently. 

The doors of the car closed behind you two as you got out of the car. Diego, Luther and Allison were pretending they were just locals talking about what not, getting closer to the big glass doors. When they stopped walking Diego turned a bit to the left and started laughing. This was it, your sign to go. 

“Hey, be safe, okay? Leave as soon as anything gets out of hand. We can find some other place to stay at.” Vanya told you when you were ready to get out of the car. Your best friend was worried about you, of course. She is always a bit anxious. But you had no other choice.

On the way here you were mentioned 8 times on the radio. You and the Hargreeves. Wanted criminals. This was your only chance to find shelter. If this didn’t work, you couldn’t really find some other place. You would pretty much have to sleep in the car or on the streets. No, impossible, you couldn’t go through that again. 

“We’ll be fine Vivi.” She chuckles sadly at the nickname you gave her in the early stages of your friendship. 

“Klaus, hand me that magazine! It’s my turn” Vanya said while tapping her fingers on the steering wheel.  

“Ah, fine.” he whined. “Turn on the radio.”

Hand in hand with Five you made your way to the front hall of the club, heading towards the bar, which was on a platform just above the empty dance floor. You took your sunglasses off as you sat on one of those black stools at the bar. Same leather like 50 years ago. It felt surreal to be here again, with Five sitting next to you. 

“What are you doing so early? And with a kid? There ain’t no party yet ms.” you couldn’t help but smile as you recognized the southern drawl. You pushed your foot on the floor and rotated the chair. There she was, with her hair pinned up the same way as always, wearing short heels that matched her dark lipstick. It had been so long since you had seen her. 

Amy Stephens, your boss John’s little sister. She should be 74 by now, and even though she was just 17 when you started working at the club, you still knew who she was. Amy was the only friend you had during those months when you were alone. You showed her how to do her make up, you went shopping together when you needed new stage outfits, you taught her how to fight, something John would’ve scolded you for if he found out.

“Hello.” you said looking kindly at your old friend. “I’m not here for any party. I’m just looking for someone.”

“Oh well, let’s see if I can be of any help to ya. What you got?” 

“Do you happen to know a Stephens?” Five asked her. 

“Stephens? Yeah, yeah, that’s me kid. With what business are you coming here?” she questioned resting her arm on her hip. 

“Are you in charge of the place?” you said putting your glasses in the pocket of your jacket.

“Sure am. Can I help you?” 

“Yeah… we… uh… a friend told us you used to give the apartment for rent? Is that… still available?” You didn’t quite know how to carry the conversation without blowing your cover. 

“Ah, yes. It’s been a long time since anyone slept in there. You knew the famous y/n Hargreeves used to live here?” Five suppressed a smile, winking at you, but the woman didn’t notice. “Do you kids even know her? You look young. Anyways, popular singer back in 62. Or was it 63?” she muttered.

“Big fans” Five told her.

Your name wasn’t Hargreeves, of course, but you had no certificate when your boss found you. So you did everything you could to associate yourself with Five and his siblings in hope you might find them.

“Would you be interested in staying here?”

“Yes, that’d be really nice” Five said eagerly.

“Follow me, I’ll show you around.” 

The door to your old apartment opened and little dust particles could be seen floating in the morning light. Amy pushed the wooden door with her shoulder and walked inside. 

“My God, we haven’t been in here since Ms Hargreeves moved out. Seems like she really was our last tenant” she whispered, but you heard her well. “But don’t worry children, the place is clean. There’s two bedrooms and a bathroom, a small kitchen and a balcony. Come come”. You knew that grin, it meant the apartment has probably been rotting ever since you left.

She led you to the bedroom that wasn’t used when you lived here. “See, two rooms, perfect for you and the kid, huh” She tried to convince you. Five chuckled and put his arm around your waist when she turned around to walk to the main bedroom.

“And this… this is the second one. There’s still a luggage full of her stuff under the bed but I can get rid of that for ya.” she slapped her hand on the mattress and more dust came out of it. “So what you thinkin’? You like it here?”

“Oh that's not a problem girl, bring them in. As long as you don’t make too much noise after 11 pm, we’re all good.”

You shared a look with Five to tell him This is the best we could do. He nodded and you both turned to look at Amy who was now staring uncomfortably at the two of you. Yeah, you would have to hide your relationship around her. He moved his hand casually and then you spoke again. “Yes, this is quite what we were looking for. But it’s not just us. We’ll be 7, including me, my boyfriend and his 5 siblings.” 

“Isn’t there noise from the party downstairs anyways at that hour?” Five asked her. The expression on Amy’s face changed as she looked down. 

“The party huh… you’re not from here are ya? Well, I was just joking earlier, kid. When y/n Hargreeves left the club, the people got angry. She was the main reason why people still came. Most stopped coming after some time, it simply wasn’t smart to keep the club partying. Now it’s nothing more than a property.” 

They… went bankrupt, because you stopped showing up? You knew people loved you, but John never told you you were the one holding up their business. A tear rolled down your cheek. All that fame, all the posters. You had bleached your hair when you returned to 2019 and you wore sunglasses everywhere. No one could know who you were. Some get their 30 seconds of fame, you got your year. One year could mean your whole life sometimes. 

You were laying on Elliot’s couch with the phone pressed between your ear and shoulder as you were trying to take off your coat. Five reached to help you mouhting I got it. He took your coat to the hanger and then disappeared into the kitchen. 

“Hello, this is John Stephens speaking.” 

“Hi, John. It’s just me, y/n. I- uh, I’m calling from a friend's house. I think I’m going to spend the night. Just thought it’ll be fine for you to know in advance.” 

“y/n, yes. So, what you’re saying is... that you won’t be here in time for tonight’s show?” he said anxiously. You didn’t know this at the time, but he was worried about losing profit.

“No no, I just- I would really want to hang out with my friend and it’ll be just for tonight.”

Gosh, you were reasoning with him as if he were your dad.

“Oh,come on, Hargreeves. Not even one song?”

You laughed at how disparate he was. “Sorry. Not even one. I’ll be gone til morning. But I’m sure no one will miss me that much. Besides, you can always ask Amy to sing. She’s been getting better. For real, John. That girl has potential.”

“There ain’t no well in hell I’m letting my sister get up in front of all these drunks to sing. She’s just 17, woman!” 

You couldn’t stop laughing now. “Goodnight, John. I’ll- Well I’ll see you on Monday if we don’t run into each other.”

“Have a nice evening, y/n” 

You hung up the phone and rose from the couch. When entering the kitchen you saw Five pouring coffee in two big mugs. You went and hugged him from behind, placing a gentle kiss on his cheek. You could feel him smiling as you kissed him again. He took the mugs and turned around to face you leaning on the counter.

“Did you miss me?” he asked innocently, making you giggle. 

You leaned in and kissed him. You could still taste the coffee on his lips. He kissed you back and you felt him smirk as you laced your hands behind his neck. 

“Did I miss you?” you asked him back rhetorically. And you could see how eager he was to meet your lips again. You gave him a quick peck on the lips, and one on his shoulder, and then you hugged him tightly. “I did. A lot.” 

“I know what it’s like to be alone. I promise you, we won’t have to go through that again. I’ll try everything I can do to be together forever.” 

“Forever?” you asked.

“Assuming you won’t kick me out, of course.” You smacked his arm.

“Idiot.” you said between laughs. “Give me one of those mugs.” 

He hands you your coffee and you take a sip. “Black?”

“We have a lot to talk about,” he said.  

You both sat back on the couch and went over anything and everything. How you got famous. Where the others were. How he just arrived. What he saw. How long everyone had been here. 

“How long do we have?” you asked, searching for his eyes. 

He leaned back on the couch. “A lot more than last time. Enough time to find out what causes it, and more importantly, how to stop it.” 

You smiled at his words. After all this time, you were finally reunited, and no one was rushing you now. You had nothing to lose anymore, except time. Your hands unconsciously inched towards his thigh and you traced small hearts on his leg. “That means we can breathe safely for a while, right?”

Five brought you closer to him, straddling him now. He brushed your hair behind your ear so you could see him better. Your fingers explored his face carefully. The bump of his nose, his cheeks, his dimples as he grinned at you. Gosh, how you had missed his dimples. You missed everything about him. 

“We have almost one full year,” he said. 

“Then we better make the best of it, right?” you said as your lips brushed against his. 

He laid his head on the fluffy cushions and you followed, not breaking eye contact. His blue eyes scanned yours and your soul ran wild. You towered over him and pressed your forehead on his. Suddenly, the sound of the cars outside stopped and it all went silent. In this moment, there was only you and him. And this moment would exist forever.

You had to make up for all the time you were apart. You kissed him passionately, closing your eyes. His hands flowed along your curves and rested on your hips, pressing you hard on his chest. The kiss tasted like his favourite kind of coffee. Every movement of yours was matched instantly by him. He didn’t need words to know. Neither did you. 

Five pulled away for a second, looking at you lovingly, desire clear in his eyes. He took your left hand in his and shifted you so that you were laid on your back. He sat on his elbows just above your head. Your hands hugged his shoulders, getting him to slowly bend down. You could feel your eyes fill with tears as you watched him watch you. A flash of worry appeared on his face, but just for a moment. 

Five wiped your cheeks with the back of his palm, and kissed your cheeks. You kissed his hand and he kissed yours back, his hot breath fanning over your sensitive skin. His kisses started to travel upwards, to your elbow, then shoulder, then neck, then down again. You closed your eyes as his kisses passed your collarbone. He tugged softly on your shirt. 

“May I?” he hummed with a boyish smirk you hadn’t seen in a long while. You nodded, brushing his hair back.

“Yes, please.” you flushed.

He started unbuttoning your shirt, enjoying every second of it. With every button, he would press one more kiss. With every breath, you would inhale his sweet scent, praying to never forget it.

The morning was cold. Diego and Lila were asleep in the bedroom, Elliot on an armchair. Oh, the poor man couldn't even sleep in his own bed. Five was on the couch, next you. You pushed the blanket closer to him and got up after pecking his forehead. 

“Goodmorning, y/n.” he whispered, not even bothering to open his eyes. 

“Morning, Five.” 

“Where are you going?” he whined.

“Oh don’t worry, I’ll be right back”

You searched for your shirt and pants only to find them underneath your pillow. Getting dressed up in a hurry, you covered your shoulders with what seemed to be another blanket… or a really long scarf. Either way, it was warm enough. You reached for a cigarette in your pocket and made your way outside. 

You sat on the cold stairs that led up to the entrance of the building and watched the people pass the alley. 

“Look at them, rushing to get to their shitty jobs in time, to get their kids to school, rushing, rushing, rushing.” you scoffed under your breath.

“Good thing we don’t have to rush anywhere, right?” a voice startled you. You turned your head to the door to see Five already dressed nicely with a mug of, probably, coffee again. How convenient it could be for him sometimes to jump through space. Always a step ahead of you.

“That's not healthy.” he pointed at your cigarette. 

“That’s not either” you said gesturing to his drink and he chuckled, amused.

“Yeah, well, at least I won’t get sick” he sat down, resting his head on your shoulder. 

“We can’t have that happen. Even a cold can be deadly for an old man like you.” You bumped your cigarette on the side of his mug smiling. “Cheers” 

Making your way back to the car you saw everyone was outside. 

“Vanya why are you not in the car?” Five asked immediately.

“It just took too long and I was worried.”

“Is it so hard to just stick to the rules? Is it? All you had to do was sit there.” he sighed.

Everyone looked worried, so you smiled softly. “We got the key guys, it’s all good. Let’s go upstairs, I’m tired.”

“Thank, God.” Allison said so relaxed, unaware of the gun pointing at her from behind a tree nearby. She walked to the club’s doors. “Let’s go.”

[f33itan]

💛⚜️Pᴀʀᴛ 1: Tᴏʀᴛᴜʀᴇ ɪs Gᴏʟᴅᴇɴ⚜️💛 (From my Wattpad)

A/N: Ok, this was something a mutual of mine said here on Tumblr, and I decided to write a oneshot about it. Might be very VERY slight angst, nothing bad enough to actually be put under that umbrella though, anyways, enjoy this, and ty for the reads! :)

CW: MENTIONS OF RAPE, DEGRADATION, AND MORE FOUL WORDS THAN USUAL. READ AT YOUR OWN RISK.

B/N: Your Mother's boyfriend's name

M/N: Mother's name

꧁꧂꧁꧂꧁꧂꧁꧂꧁꧂꧁꧂꧁꧂꧁꧂꧁꧂

"Oi, Y/N! Go get me another pack of beer from the store!"

"Yes father!" Damn that pig looking bitch. I'm just some fucking girl, trying to protect her mom from this demon of a person! Heck, he's not EVEN a person! He's the devil himself!! Man, I wish dad was here...

When you were in about 7th grade, your real father got killed in a massacre a couple cities over. He was not only a police officer, but a great father and husband as well. He treated you and your mother amazingly, and you thought life couldn't get anymore perfect, but soon that all went down hill. After his death, your mother's health depleted and she felt empty inside. She needed somebody else to make her complete. She decided to call an old friend from high school, and next thing you know he moved in. He seemed like a nice guy at first, but soon enough he was beating you guys mercilessly, enough to leave large bruises and scars whenever you didn't do exactly what he asked, in your eyes though, it was more of an order. You hated being ordered around, but you hated your mother getting beaten around even more. It seemed like a blessing that he hasn't tried to rape her, but god knows what he'll do, he's unpredictable

With all of this happening, you decided to tell him you were doing some "extra curricular" classes in college, but what you were actually doing was taking the Hunter's Exam and learning nen. Your biological father was kind-hearted and fun to be around, but he was also strict and sometimes a bit harsh, though he always meant well. Before his passing, all three of you would go out on the weekends to train, exercise, or do something that would enhance your body power and brain power. Because of this, all of you were exceptionally smart, and bodies all well toned. Sometimes your excursions would be going to a park and practicing a sport, driving to the snow and sledding, skiing, snowboarding, and every once in a while going to another state to zip line, try animal encounters, or take a family friendly class in that state's heritage and customs.

Since you were accustomed to hard core training and events, you thought the Hunter's Exam was quite fun, and was a test to your skills. After that, you were scouted out by a strong nen user by the name of Biscuit Krueger. You and her had lots of fun training, and with her pushing your limits to the utmost best, you turned out to be a specialist.

(Whenever I imagine myself in Hunter x Hunter, this is always my nen type and stuff LMAO)

Your power was called, Black shadow. You could have up to 10 weapons on hand, completely subjected to doing your bidding. These weapons were linked to you through blood, and they were surrounded with a substance that appeared to be black mist. The weapons you most preferred to practice with and use were your katana, blood string, and scythe. You could also make a weapon yours by cutting a fingertip and letting the blood drip onto the weapon, altering the appearance then gaining that black "mist", showing that it was now yours. The downside to this technique was that those "shadows and mist remnants" were your sleep. The darkness in your mind and the shadows all around you were taken and used for that power. In turn, you were always tired, yawning, and had bags under your eyes. Another plus side though was that you had a nen created chamber that had every weapon you owned. A girl can have some fun toys, can't she? You had tools for torture (whenever you took an opportunity to try it), many varieties of weapons, and of course, more snacks. But unlike B/N, you didn't have just fatty snacks. You had regeneration potions, healthy snacks, and special nen created "snacks" to help with different things, which all of these you had collected through pulling some strings. Your mother was worried, but you said it was all just college things. Yeah, just college things..

Ill make that pig bitch pay for what he has done to my mother!

Feitan POV -or whats going on with him- :

"What time, is it.."

"8 AM Fei!"

"Shut up, green eyes, too loud."

"Oh Fei don't be rude! It's mean!"

"That's, the point."

"Oh wait, Shalnark, what this?"

"What do you mean?"

"This... gold string?"

"OI SHALNARK, FEITAN, COME ERE' REAL QUICK!"

"Phinks, what, do you, want-" Phinks just ignored his question and pointed to the TV.

This is Channel 12, reporting live from York New City Town Square. People all over the city are claiming to be seeing a string tied to their left ring finger, leading them to some unknown destination! What is this string? Who put it there?-

"AY AY IM ON TV! THE STRING THINGY JUST LEAD ME TO THIS BEAUTIFUL GIRL AND NOW WERE DATING! SUPER AWESOME!"-

I apologize for the interference, but this string appears t be leading people to.. partners? Soulmates? Find out tomorrow morning, this is Amy Starwick from Channel 12, signing out.

"What. The. FUCK."

"OH MY GOD OH MY GOODNESS HOLY SHIT FEITAN YOU HAVE A SOULMATE!!"

"Nope-"

"YESS YOU DOOOOOOO"

"SHUT THE FUCK UP CHEERY BITCH-"

"No❤️" Since Feitan was on his last nerve with Shalnark, he decided to stomp over towards Chrollo in the main room, but Chrollo just chuckled.

"Wanna go find your soulmate? See if that things real?" Feitan just stared at the ground, lightly shifting his feet.

"Go ahead, I don't mind."

"Just, doing it, out of, curiosity."

"Mhm, curiosity, go find them." And with that, he was dismissed. Feitan wanted to say it was curiosity, but deep down he had this feeling there was something else, but what was it? It made his stomach tingle and he didn't like it one bit. He tried to ignore all of this, and just shrugged it off...

꧁꧂꧁꧂TimeSkip to Next Day꧁꧂꧁꧂

Your POV + some Feitan POV:

"Alright, today's the day, he'll be at his work, and on his break, i'll set the plan in motion.." Both me and mom don't like him, and I don't know about her, but I sure hate him, every ounce of him. The plan is simple: 1. Capture mom's boyfriend, 2. Take him to an abandoned building, 3. Torture him and get all of the answers I need, and 4. Kill him. His break is at 12, and he usually goes to get takeout every other Friday, what a pig. I'll give him a taste of his own medicine.

Time: 11:30 AM

Ok, I have everything ready. Fully energized to the utmost extent, Elixirs to bring him back in case he passes out too early, and- what? He's leaving for lunch early? PERFECT! You ran behind some buildings and hid in a two-way alleyway, waiting for him to pass by...

Here we go..

One..

Two..

THREE!

You covered his head with a sack, and took his phone out of his back pocket. Before heading over to your post, you laced the inside of the sack with some sleeping powder and pressed it against his nose and mouth. Within moments he passed out, and you typed in what you hoped to be his password, which was correct. Around 12:30, you were going to text one of his coworkers that he would be "going to a restaurant across town, and ditching work for a day, not wanting to see his stupid good for nothing girlfriend or his dumb daughter." You knew he called you both this because of going through his text messages when he wasn't looking or when he was sleeping. Little did you know that somebody was watching you from afar.

"Hmm... So, she, my, what do people, call it.. soulmate? Seems, interesting..."

Time: 12:00 PM

"Jesus, I new he was a fat ass but I didn't know he weighed this much!" You were tugging him from his legs through the back ways of York New. You wanted to find a secluded area, where once you were done with him you could just toss him somewhere for the birds and maggots to eat. After walking for what seemed like hours, you came across a set of abandoned buildings, specifically the one you laid out some extra things. A couple extra weapons, some towels, a change of clothes, a chair and some rope, a couple of flashlights, and of course, some snacks. Lucky for you, the douchebag you've been dragging around like a rag doll was still out cold, so you picked him up and tossed him on the chair, tying his wrists, ankles and neck to the chair.

"Maaannn, this is boring!! When the hell are you gonna wake up?!" As if on queue, you saw his eyes start to flutter open, and you immediately grabbed your box cutter. It wasn't a weapon used by your nen, but it was quite effective.

"What.. who.. wait- Y/N!? WHAT THE FUCK?! UNTIE ME NOW BEFORE I BEAT YOUR ASS!!" you didn't notice it, but Feitan was watching from the building over.

What, the fuck? Why she kidnap him? That pig? Why? Confusing, gotta keep, watching.

You shoved the box cutter into his left cheek, and you bathed in the glory of hearing his screams of pain.

"How does this feel, you bitch? Everything you've done to my dear mother, everything you've done to me, and heck, YOU WERE PROBABLY BEHIND MY DAD'S MURDER DURING THAT FUCKING MASSACRE!!" B/N noticed the tears in your eyes, and took this to his advantage.

"So what if I was? Both of your parents were pathetic anyways."

"NO THEY AREN'T! YOU'RE THE REASON WHY MY MOTHER'S LIKE THIS NOW! YOUR THE FUCKING REASON FOR EVERYTHING SHITTY THAT'S HAPPENED TO ME!!"

"Heh, hehe.. hahaHAHAHA! YOU KNOW GOD DAMNED WELL THAT ALL OF YOU ARE PATHETIC! WANNA KNOW WHY I GOT WITH YOUR MOM!? BECAUSE SHES HOT. AND SHE HAD GOOD MONEY FROM YOUR FUCKING DAD. YOU KNOW WHAT I WAS GONNA DO?! YOU KNOW WHY I TOOK OFF EARLY TODAY?! I WAS GONNA RAPE YOUR MOTHER AND MAKE YOU WATCH, THEN KILL BOTH OF YOU AND RUN OFF WITH ALL OF YOUR MONEY!! AND YOU KNOW WHAT'S IRONIC?! I DON'T HAVE ONE. SINGLE. FUCKING. REGRET. IF IT WASN'T FOR YOUR DAD, YOU SOULDN'T HAVE HAD THE NERVE TO DO THIS, YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN ABORTED!!"

You couldn't handle this anymore, tears were falling down your face rapidly as you grabbed the duct tape and closed his mouth shut.

"I don't give a fuck about what you say.. I'm going to kill you here. This is your grave. Someday, I'll join you in hell, and when I do, I'll torture you again, and the Devil will laugh. You just watch and ducking wait you, you.. PATHETIC WORTHLESS PIG ASS SLOPPY ASS NASTU FUCKING BITCH!" With that, you grabbed a couple super worms in each hand and shoved them into his ears. Even with the duct tape, you could hear his screams of agony as the worms dug deeper into his ears. You then got our your katana and slashed him across the stomach, and shoved even more worms into that open wound of his. Quickly, you poured a large bottle of the elixir you had brought over him to keep him from dying so quickly. Box cutter still in hand, you carved small lines all over his arms and legs, then ripped off the tape to hear his desperate cries. You imagined he wanted to be dead, but you didn't care. His pain and you pain mixed together and you just started laughing. You through your head back and let yourself laugh. all of the pain this man has caused you and your mom will be repayed today.

But the pressure and stress was too much to handle. Your laughing of victory soon turned into screams and more tears, as you let yourself fall to the ground, not even noticing you didn't hit it hard, something had caught you, or someone..

What the shit am I doing?

Am I really going to kill him?

What's wrong with me?

What will mother think?

What would dad do?

What am I doing with my life?

You soon snapped out of all of those negative thoughts though, as you noticed something caressing your face lightly.

"Rest, now. He, won't die, so quickly. I'm, Feitan." You were a sniffling and crying mess, so all you could do was rush into Feitan's chest and cry. Without thinking, he wrapped his arms around you and held you close. He had no idea what he was doing, for he had only seen this kind of skin on skin contact in movies. So, he did what those people in the movies did.

"Don't, worry... It's all, going to be.. okay."

Word Count (Including author notes, etc) : 2251

-Wrote February 3, 2021-

Unedited sorry about that lol-

Part 1...

[thecomposerofstories]

The Story of a Toy: The full story (So far, anyway, I still have a lot left to write, and any ideas are fully welcome! 💖)

~ The Story of a Toy~

UNDERSTANDINGS.

Amy didn’t understand it at first, why did play-time have to end? Why couldn’t they just play together, like they always did? But now she knew why.

Children grow up, and they leave. And her owner may forget the days they spent playing, and may not miss her the way she did, but Amy would remember, and as long as she did, she would be fine.

She hoped.

Her owner placed her carefully in a box, smiling sadly, as if she knew the small ragdoll she held was sentient, which was, of course, impossible.

Amy never understood the rule toys had to abide by, but always listened to them, because she had seen enough horror movies featuring dolls coming to life to know that humans frowned upon that sort of thing, and Amy, not wanting her owner to fear her or call an exorcist, stayed still.

But she had looked at her as if she were real. All those days spent running around in the park, lazing in the sun, her owner reading to her stories. Her owner’s favourite stories were always The Wizard of Oz, Peter Pan, and Alice in Wonderland. (Whom Amy’s owner had been named after)

Amy noticed that Dorothy, Alice and Wendy all wore blue, and travelled to fantasy worlds which by either flying, tornado, or Rabbit hole, respectively. And all were an allegory to leaving childhood. Which was an interesting coincidence. And much like those characters, Alice had to leave her childhood –and Amy- behind.

Shutting the box deftly, closing Amy in an only temporary darkness, Alice climbed up the steps of the attic.

Placing down the box beside the others, she left unceremoniously.

Amy moved her limbs dully, coming to life. She peered out from the box to get a closer look at her surroundings.

“Hello?” She called out tentatively. Using other objects placed within the box, -some books, old records, and a jewellery box- she clambered out, tumbling over. She coughed at the dust, adjusting her dark hair so it didn’t blind her. “H-Hello? Is anybody there?” She called out again, a little louder.

Nothing. She was the only toy there. Other toys had been sold, lost, and some had even lost hope in Alice and left. All but Amy.

Amy, feeling aloof and uncertain, just stood there.

I’ll wait, she thought. Someone, at some point, will open my box and play with me, or hand me off to a place where I could be played with… or something, hopefully.

And so the poor, steadfast ragdoll stood, waiting to be played with.

CHAPTERS

Reading was always a favourite pastime of Amy’s, a habit she had picked up from Alice. And it seemed to be reading that was keeping her sane. She read any books she could find:

Horror. (for days that she was bored and needed a scare, to give her an extra kick of adrenaline to keep her going,)

Picture books, (Her favourite was one about Dinosaurs, her favourite being the Tyrannosaurus Rex. In the book –Which to Amy didn’t seem that factually accurate- the T- Rex was described as ‘Fearsome and scary’, but she didn’t really think so, especially since she had read a famous quote: 'Green is the prime colour of the universe, and that from which it's loveliness arises', she reckoned anyone who was green would know that.)

Comedies. (Which made Amy laugh even if she didn’t get it.)

Even a huge dictionary titled: Strange Words and Their Meanings. (She adored going through the pages, memorising each word carefully.)

Over the years, Amy had read all of these books, more times than she could count.

Rest of the time spent in the attic she looked out of the window, while perched on a tower of boxes where she could look out but and no-one could see her. Like she didn’t exist. Either with a book or gazing dully out at the passing world outside, in her own little reverie.

Today was just like any other day. Or, it started out like one. Amy knew Alice’s parents had moved out of their house, a few months ago, and was wondering when someone else would come along.

Today was the day! A blue mini-van-like car parked itself in front of the garage, Amy guessed, a moving-van in tow. ‘Egg-Man-Movers’ was spelt along the truck, with funny looking literal egg-like man moving a bunch of boxes with the letters that spelt the name on the truck.

As the car stopped, a little boy, around six or seven, jumped out the car, holding two small figures Amy couldn’t quite see, though she was certain one was wearing a hat. The boy wore a hat, too, a red one. A woman also stepped out of the car, presumably the boy’s mother, and they both got a small creature, probably a baby, out of the car too.

Amy jumped down from the window sill, enthusiastically spinning and laughing. “It’s today! It’s today! A new owner! Yes!” She squealed, she did a fist pump in the air and danced around like some madwomen, spinning, until she tripped over her feet. Laughing, of course.

This was what she was waiting for! Amy loved reading, but do you know what she loved about it the most?

Starting new chapters.

NOTHING

Nothing.

Non-one.

Amy expected for someone to bring some boxes into the attic, notice her and take her out, but no. Why bring stuff with you if you’re just going to put it away and never see it was the only explanation.

Sometimes, she could hear the boy, and the mother, and the baby.

Sometimes, she could hear other voices coming from downstairs, too. The child’s toys, she figured.

They’re having so much more fun than me, I bet. Amy thought. She was never really a bitter person, but she couldn’t help but be a little jealous. OK, a lot jealous. But what could she do?

Wait.

That was it, all she could do. Stupid, stupid, stupid! She mantra’d in her head.

She was sick of it. She wanted to play! To have conversations! Where was the Adventure? While the toys in the little boy’s room were having much more fun than her. Amy elbowed a box in frustration.

A pile of old records and magazines fell on her head.

Yearsshe had been waiting. Decades, even. Amy used some spare chalk to keep track of the days she’d spent in the attic. Today was day number sixteen thousand, six hundred and eighty-six, to be exact.

Today was just another number, it was late afternoon. Amy stepped down from the boxes, covering the window with a curtain. She walked into the middle of the dusty room, thinking. Amy knew she could climb out the window, what if someone sawher? What if she slipped? What if, if she successfully got to a near window ledge, and the window was locked? What if the toys threw her back out for intruding? She couldn’t just stay here forever… but what if she did?

All these thoughts coursed through her cotton-stuffed head, her thoughts so loud she nearly didn’t hear the attic stairs being used, creaking with each step.

She was so shocked she ran and hid behind a vase, narrowly escaping being seen. Through a small hole in the box she peeked at the mother of the little boy and baby as she dumped some boxes and left.

TOYS IN THE ATTIC

“W-where are we?” a voice whispered nervously, other voices replied, “How am I supposed to know?!” “S-sorry…” “Let’s have a look!”

Amy stayed behind the shelf, peeking from behind a vase. She’d had been longing to speak to other toys for so long, so why was mind screaming for her to hide?

Four toys stepped out from the box. First, a rather foreign, futuristic-looking action hero who was a bit taller than Amy, with all sorts of fancy buttons and gadgets attached to them. “Which planet is this?” he asked his friend, a much taller, lanky ragdoll who wore boots with spurs and a cow-print vest over his checked shirt. he straightened his brown hat, taking in the surroundings. “It’s not another planet, Buzz, it’s just the attic.” He said calmly, or dryly, depending on how you read it. The third toy literally sprung out of the box, as he had a spring for a body with a dog’s head and backside at opposite ends. His springy body rattled and made a satisfying noise.

The last figure surprised Amy. A strange creature at first, well, all the toys looked strange and new to her, but this was by far the strangest.

He was a little bit shorter than the one in the hat, but only because he was hunched low, fumbling with his little arms. He was green, his scales made of plastic. Amy tried to place where she had seen a creature like that before, before it hit her: It was a dinosaur! A Tyrannosaurus Rex, to be exact.

She was so enamoured with the creature she leaned against the floral vase to get a closer look, as he observed the room with his friends.

But she leaned to hard, and the vase tipped and smashed. Amy ducked behind some plates before the strangers saw her.

The four toys turned to the sound of the noise, terrified. ‘Buzz’, as his friend had called him, pointed a shining red light attached to his arm at the broken pieces of porcelain.

“What was that?!” the Dinosaur whisper-screamed, hiding behind his friend. The Springy Dog turned to his friends, equally stricken, stating, “We gotta find a way outta here!”

The one in the hat nodded “You’re right, Slink.” he turned to the trap door at his feet, which got them there in the first place. He pulled at the latch, but it wouldn’t open. “It’s locked!” “And the dormer is sealed… it seems we’re trapped.” Buzz fathomed, after analysing the door on the floor.

The dinosaur started to freak out. “We can’t stay in here forever!” Buzz cut him off, “Come on, Rex, calm down!” This only made the poor thing ramble on more. “But what if Andy forgets we were in that box? We’ll be stuck here forever!” “Stop it!” the other three shouted at him, annoyed.

Amy felt the overwhelming need to go and comfort the poor thing, or, Rex, as they called him. She understood how he felt. It was dark and gloomy, (or Mirk, as Strange Words and Their Meanings would say.) She couldn’t blame him for being scared.

Amy wanted to help the other toys, but was confused as to how to introduce herself. She couldn’t just step out of nowhere, as Rex might just die of fright, and she didn’t want that.

Instead, she just kept listening to the other toys’ conversations.

“Maybe we can find another way out of here?” The one in the hat thought to himself. “Great idea, Woody!” Buzz praised, before striking a pose and exclaiming, “I’m ready for a new mission! Buzz Lightyear will have you out of this attic in a flash!”

The other toys just stared, deadpan, at him.

Slink spoke up, “It won’t be easy, we need to find something to light this place up first” Woody agreed, “Yeah, It’s getting dark, soon we won’t be able to see anything” “Oh, I don’t like this at all! I’m afraid of the dark!” Rex sputtered, Buzz shushed him “Quiet, I’m trying to analyse the problem” he thought for a moment, before declaiming, “We can use my laser for light!” he shined his laser into Slink’s eyes as an example. “I don’t think it’s enough to light the whole place up, Buzz.” Woody pressed gently, Slink scoffed, rubbing his eyes with his paws “Yeah, but it’s enough to blind me!” Amy giggled at their banter, as quietly as she could. “Maybe there’s some Christmas lights in here or something”

Woody though aloud, Rex nodded. “Yeah, there’s loads of old stuff here, we’re sure to find something!” Woody placed a hand on Buzz’s shoulder, “And you can always use your laser to see what’s inside the boxes” Buzz grinned.

“I’ll look in the closet!” Slink said over his shoulder, while Woody looked behind boxes with Buzz.

Rex gulped, standing in the middle of the room. He went to inspect the broken vase by the shelves. He was now so close Amy could see all the detailing in his plastic skin.

His eyes locked with hers, eyes wide, and he yelped in surprise. So did Amy.

“Rex! What happened?” Buzz called, his friends following him and rushing to the panicking dinosaur. Amy fell out from her hiding spot, finally exposed. What could she say? “H-h-hello…?” she said, awkwardly, to the other toys who stared at her.

FRIEND FOR LIFE

“Hello” Slink said first, going up to the frightened ragdoll and speaking softly. “It’s okay, we won’t hurt you, do ya have a name?” Amy got up from the floor, dusting off her denim dress nervously. “I-I’m Amy…” the ragdoll stuttered. Woody tipped his hat and shook her hand. “Well, nice to meet you, Amy, I’m Woody.” “Nice to meet you too.” Amy responded nervously. Buzz shook her hand next, firmer than Woody. “I am Buzz Lightyear, Space Ranger. I mean, well not really…well, it’s a long story.” Amy smiled. Slink was next. “I’m Slinky Dog, but you can call me Slinky or Slink if you want.”

Rex was last, he approached her more cautiously, shaking her hand nervously. “I’m Rex, nice to meet you, Amy.” he said warmly, before asking quickly afterwards, “Did I scare you? I’m supposed to be scary, ya’see, so please, tell me honestly.” Amy stuttered a response “N-nice to meet you, too, R-Rex, and I was terrified... But I’ve always wanted to meet a dinosaur.” Rex grinned bashfully, fiddling with his hands. “Really?” “Y-yes.” Rex giggled “I like you, Amy!”

Woody laughed and rolled his eyes. “You’ve made a friend for life, now, Amy. Do you know if there’s any way to get us out of here?” the cowboy asked, (not that Amy would know he was one at this point), but she answered, nodding, “There’s a window above those boxes there, behind that curtain.” she gestured at the tower of boxes in front of them, laid out in just a way that they looked like stairs.

Woody, Buzz and Slinky descended up the boxes. Rex looked at Amy, grinning. “Aren’t you gonna join us?” “Really? C-can I?” “Of course! We can’t just leave you in here! It’s scary! Besides, it’d be nice to have a you around!” Amy smiled, climbing the boxes to reach the others.

Once they reached the top, Buzz pushed back the curtain and while the other toys climbed out. Amy was last. She took one last look at the attic, before straightening her back and walking out on the window ledge.

ANDY’S ROOM.

A breeze hit Amy in the face as she stood on the window ledge outside. Her dark hair flew in front of her face in annoying tendrils. The sky had darkened considerably, which made it even more thrilling. Rex shivered, “Oh, it’s so high!” Amy nodded, looking down at the ground. Amy watched as the three other toys grabbed the drainpipe and slid down to the window just below. Woody waved from below “Come on! Someone could see us!” Amy stuttered “B-but what if I fall?” “You’ll be fine, I swear!” Amy smiled wearily. She gripped the drainpipe, took a deep breath, jumped and slid down to the side of the window.

She screamed internally, holding on for dear life. Her legs and arms wrapped around the pole, eyes looking down at the pavement where she would surely end up. She had only been still for about a few seconds, but it felt like a lifetime. Could she do this? Would she do this?

She jumped.

Landing in a heap, nearly knocking Woody and Buzz over.

Rex leapt next. He couldn’t properly jump, so Amy and Woody had to pull him into the window. “I’m alive!” Rex breathed, Woody rolled his eyes for what must have been the second or third time today.

Woody turned to Amy. “Welp, welcome to Andy’s room.” Amy turned to face the room.

It used to be Alice’s.

Now, everything was different. It was a strange feeling, nostalgia mixed with the feeling of being in a new place.

The shelf was always there, yes, still there, same colour, too, only with new bits and bobs and toys and books placed on it. Everything else was foreign and strange. Even the wallpaper.

Amy stepped on a desk that wasn’t there before, well, there was a desk there before, but it wasn’t this one.

Amy watched as the four other toys jumped down from the desk to a chair to the floor and copied their example, sort of. She fell in a tangle on the floor.

A group of toys surrounded the five, the first to speak was a funny looking creature with a mustache and a bowler hat with a Brooklyn accent, akin to the shape of a potato “Who’s the newbie?” he asked, Rex replied quickly “This is Amy, we rescued her from the attic!” Amy spoke up gently “Well, rescued is not a word I would choose, really, I’d say they more encouraged me to leave, I say they, but really-” a female voice cut her off “Well, whoever you are, welcome”

The speaker of these words was a porcelain doll, much taller than Amy, who smiled warmly yet dryly, with a skirt that flared out so wide it reminded Amy of a parachute. She carried a long blue cane, holding it professionally.

A small cluster of sheep made bleating noises at her feet. Amy guessed she must be a Shepard.

“I’m Bo Peep.” She stated, extending a hand. Amy shook it nervously. This woman radiated beauty, with her shiny porcelain skin and her golden curls. Amy felt slightly intimidated and uncomfortable under her blue gaze. “Hello, B-Bo, heh, that rhymes, doesn’t it? Nice to m-meet you, and I hope you don’t mind me asking, but are you that same Bo Peep from that nursery rhyme?”

Bo smiled, amused at the ragdoll’s nervousness and tendency to drabble, letting down her guard a little bit. “Yes, I’m the same Bo from the nursery rhyme.” The ragdoll grinned uneasily. She remembered when Alice was little, she would read nursey rhymes.

“Andy’s comin’!” a toy yelled, a piggy bank whom Amy hadn’t been introduced too yet.

The other toys zipped in different directions at lightning speed, Amy didn’t know what to do.

So she fell to the ground, inanimate.

~A Dinosaur's Distress~

REPLACEMENT.

“These toys are so much better than my old ones, Mom!” Andy called as he rushed into his room.

He placed the big paper bag with the words ‘Dinosaur Museum’ he was carrying on his desk. “I never knew how many cooler dinosaurs there were!”

Rex cowered, his vision felt like he was watching the whole scene through a fish-eye lenses. He lay frozen, watching Andy tear away the plastic wrapping and boxes the toys were in.

“Andy! Dinner!” Andy’s mother called. Andy trudged downstairs reluctantly down stairs. “Coming!”

Rex felt like he was being choked, his mind clogged with rambling thoughts.

He’d always dreaded this.

Shakily, he moved his limbs, walking towards the desktop. He twiddled with his hands nervously and winced, so wrapped up with what could be up there that he didn’t notice his friends were missing.

He called out tentatively, “H-h-hello…?” he squeaked. The room felt both big and small, a nauseous, nightmarish feeling. But the most horrifying thing was how Rex was alone. No-one could stop him from panicking this time.

The new toys arose and jumped, slithered, crawled, and trudged down from the desk, towering over Rex and cornering him so quickly it was as if they were always there.

“Andy don’t need you no more…” one toy –if he, or maybe it, could be called one- slurred, grey saliva clung to his teeth in thick, sticky ropes. His scales rough and uneven, grotesque muscles rippling in a sickly shade of orange.

“You’re weak. Pathetic. Andy needs a toy that deserves him.” A purple one said, sickly yellow eyes narrowing. This one had many horns adorned to its face and body like piercings. Rex had never seen dinosaurs’ like them before.

The toys seemed to strangely multiply, each one different. Each one better them him. Scarier than him. And much stronger than him. They all taunted him. His anxiety, his arms, his cowardice.

One grabbed his arm with sharp taloned fingers, snickering. “Look at this! What kinda toy factory allowed this thing on sale?” He snickered. Others did the same. Jabbing and poking him till he could take it no more. Rex screamed.

“Stop! please,” he sobbed, pulling away and backing up against Andy’s starry wallpaper. The grotesque creatures just laughed bitterly, prodding him and pushing him and even hitting him.

“Oh, does that hurt?” (Saying it hurt was an understatement.)

“Look at those stupid arms! So flimsy!”

“Look at you! who would want you?”

“Pathetic!”

“Idiot!”

Rex tried screamed for his friends “S-STOP! PLEASE! H-HELP!”

The toys sneered. “They can’t hear you!” the tallest, largest one slurred with his sickly tongue. He was the worst-looking of the lot. His eyes bloodshot and his arms long and rippling with muscle. His bumpy scales the colour of green toxic waste, so ugly looking it glowed. His voice sounded like an earth-quake, loud and booming, yet scratchy, like nails against glass. “But if they did, why would they care? You’re their punching bag. Even they make fun of you!”

They began to taunt him again. Rex tried to cancel them out, squeezing his eyelids shut.

They laughed. Rex screamed again, though it did nothing.

He began to lose consciousness.

BREATHE.

“Rex?” Amy whispered, nudging him a little. Rex had been placed on the bed by Andy, -Who was getting ready for school- and had fallen asleep. Amy had been reading underneath the bed up until he had started muttering in his sleep.

Rex bolted awake, breathing heavily and shallowly, hyperventilating. All the other toys in the room turned and stared at him. Amy looked at him with a concerned expression. He’d been getting more and more jumpy lately since it was declared that Andy was going to the Museum.

Rex jolted awake, shaking like he’d seen a ghost.

Woody, who was also on the bed, went to the dino to see what was wrong. Rex pinned his small hands on the cowboy’s shoulders. “Where’s Andy?!” He said urgently, shaking the confused cowpoke. Woody looked at Rex, bewildered. “Getting ready to leave for school? Is everything alright?” “NO! Everything is NOT alright!” Rex screamed hysterically “Andy’s going to the Dinosaur Museum, and I’m gonna get replaced!” “No he’s not! If Andy was gonna get a new toy, he would have made some withdrawals. And Hamm would know about it.” Woody argued. Then he turned to Hamm, who was on the desk. “Hamm, has Andy made any withdrawals?” the cowboy asked. Hamm looked solemn. “Nope, only deposits.”

“See?” Woody said, trying to calm the dinosaur down. He did. A little.

The toys heard Andy talking to his Mother from inside the room. “Mom, can I have some money to bring to the Museum?” “Sure! I’ll give you five dollars.” “Thanks Mom!”

Hamm watched them leaves outside from the window, with Molly, of course, driving away in the car.

Rex froze. “So it’s true… I am going to be replaced…” he said sadly, quietly, his stress building up from there. “What should I do… what should I do… WHAT SHOULD I DO WOODY WHAT SHOULD I DO!?” Rex screamed, his claws dug in Woody’s shoulders again, shaking him.

The some of the toys –Buzz, Mr. Potato Head, Bo and Hamm- swarmed around the bed. “Rex! Calm down! Please!” Rex couldn’t hear them. he kept fretting. “I’m gonna be replaced! I can’t deal with this! Woody, I CAN’T! “REX!” Woody yelled, shrugging him away.

Amy watched on from behind, unsure what to do. Rex was stressing out, hyperventilating and fretting, all the toys swarming around him, cocooning him in loud noise and emotions, yelling at him to quieten down or he’ll wake the neighbours. Amy moved in front of Rex quickly, to give him some space and probably calm him and everyone else down, when a hand smacked her in the face and she fell to the duvet cover.

Everyone in the room stopped. Amy lay motionless, next to Rex, who stood in silent horror. Her dark hair covered her like a curtain, she wasn’t moving.

Rex stood still, shocked. “A-Amy?” He stuttered. The other toys backed away. Buzz looked shook. He didn’t mean for that to happen…

Amy stirred. “R-Rex...? what happened…?” She murmured. Then it came back to her. “Are-are you okay?” she asked Rex, he looked taken aback. “A-Are you kidding? Y-y-you just got slapped! I-I should be asking you!” he said, still shaking after his outburst, his breathing still shallow, but his voice quieter, making sure his friend was alright. “No, you shouldn’t. You really shouldn’t.” She answered, while getting up, with deep concern for her friend. “Amy, you- you’re hurt!” Rex exclaimed. Amy touched her cheek were Buzz had hit her.

She could feel soft stuffing coming out of a small cut on her cheek, she gasped.

She turned to Buzz. “Why did you do that?” she asked softly, in shock. Buzz stammered. “I-I’m so sorry, Amy, I didn’t mean to hurt you…” he started. Amy then looked at him with a soft expression. “What about Rex?” the ragdoll replied. She spoke quietly, still dazed. Buzz gulped. “I thought it would…” “Would what?” “…I don’t know.”

Buzz moved closer to Rex. The dinosaur jerked back, still freaking out. Buzz put his hands up in peace. “Rex, I-I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have tried to hit you. It was a foolish mistake.” Rex nodded slowly, understanding “I-I understand.” He still looked shaky. He whimpered. He felt terrible. Stupid, stupid, stupid. He mantra’d in his head. How could he have been so stupid? How could he… all thoughts and sounds pressed against him, squeezing his chest.

Amy turned to Rex. “Rex,” she whispered softly, “What’s wrong?” Rex stayed silent for a beat before speaking. Despite not really having a throat, his voice came out hoarse. “I’m g-going to be r-replaced, Amy, and Andy’s going to get a-a dinosaur w-w-who’s much better than me…” he rambled. He shook, fidgeting with his hands.

The other toys weren’t sure what to do. Rex always was a neurotic, but seeing him freak out like this saddened them.

Amy locked eyes with Rex, backing away from him far enough to give him space to breathe.

“Breathe,” Amy told him gently, “Deep breaths, and you’ll feel better, I promise.”

He took one shaky breath. Then he took another. And another. And another. He could feel air coming in and out of him a bit more normally now.

That was a start.

“Do you want me to talk to you alone? You’ll feel better if you talk it out.” Amy assured. Rex nodded.

ASSURANCE

Amy was walking around the room with Rex, trying to calm his nerves. The other toys had gone back to their own business, a tad confused, and more than a bit worried for their friend.

“W-what about your cut?” Rex asked, Amy dismissed it with a wave of her mitten-like hand, like having her face carved up with stuffing peeking out was the most normal thing. “Don’t worry, I’ll deal with it later, I need to help you first.” She said calmly, absently brushing her cheek. It felt weird, kind of numb, but she would fix it later. Then she added, “And you shouldn’t worry about being replaced, either.” She thought for a moment, calculating what to say next. Could she dare to ask why?

They walked in silence for a while before Amy broke it. “Rex, why are you so worried?” she asked softly, hoping she wasn’t going to upset him. Surprisingly, Rex replied better than she expected.

“Andy g-got me from the Museum…” he started shakily. “The toy company that I was owned by and the Museum had an agreement to sell toys there…” his gaze drifted away from the ragdoll, into the past.

“…I remember the children pointing at me, saying “Hey, look how small it’s arms are!” and ‘and “Heh, look at his dopey face” … They were always more interested in the scarierlooking toys… not me.” Rex trailed off.

“I learnt that the Tyrannosaurus Rex is supposed to be the most fearsome dinosaur –no, creature- to rule the earth.

There were posters in the gift shop where I lived, before Andy. Scary, big pictures of dinosaurs, roaring and growling, scaring everyone… They were respected. And children thought they were cool.

I wanted that. I wanted to be respected. But whenever I try, I become an idiot. I can barely roar. I know everyone in this room thinks I’m annoying, and I don’t blame them. And I don’t hate them for it.

I just know, one day, maybe even today, Andy’s going to get a newer, respectful dinosaur, and I’m going to be abandoned. Discarded. Because I can’t even do what I was made to do. to be scary.

I want to be scary, because I know that’s the only way people will like me. I was alone in that gift shop; no one would talk to me… they hated me for being myself. For not being what they expected me to be.” he paused, before laughing ruefully, sadly. Trying to keep it together, trying to keep from crying. He’d been needing to tell someone that for a long time. “I must be acting really pathetic, huh? And your p-probably bored… forget what I said…” Amy shook her head as if that was the silliest thing she’d ever heard. “No, you’re just talking to me because you’ve had no one to talk to. You shouldn’t pretend to be someone you’re not just to be loved or feared. That’s crazy. We all like you for being you.

You’re special to Andy. And even if he does get a new dinosaur, Andy will play with the both of you. It’s like Woody and Buzz, remember when you told me how much they hated each other at the start?” He nodded. After Amy had arrived to Andy’s room, Rex had felt responsible to tell her everything that had happened to him and his friends. “Well, you’re sure to have a friend in that new dinosaur, if Andy gets one.”

Rex wasn’t so sure. “But what if the new dinosaur is bad? Like… evil?” “Well then, we’ll just do what Woody did and throw him out of the window the window.” She said, smirking. Rex laughed.

PATCHED-UP.

The rest of the day had gone without error, for a room as chaotic as Andy’s. Amy now sat down on top of Andy’s desk as Rex tried to sew Amy back up. She had politely declined at first, but Rex had insisted. He wanted to help, but also, unknown to Amy, because he had nothing to do but worry otherwise otherwise. Also, he felt safer when he was with his friend.

Amy noted the small hollows beneath Rex’s eyes; from all the worrying, she presumed sadly. The poor thing…

She watched as he sewed her cheek up with a needle and a small piece of thread while Amy was seated on top of some building blocks so Rex could reach her. Rex was, surprisingly, really good at sewing. Probably because his fingers were small and nimble. Checking the stitches weren’t loose, he tied the thread off. you’d never know the cut had been there.

Rex remembered, with guilt, how Amy had got the cut in her cheek in the first place. “I’m sorry about your cut…” Rex apologized.

Amy sighed softly. “Well what could I have done? I couldn’t just let you get hit.” “But it’s my fault he tried to hit me in the first place! If I hadn’t’ve freaked out the way I did, if I hadn’t been so dramatic, you wouldn’t have gotten hit! It’s all my fault…” he looked like he’d let her down.

But he hadn’t. “You couldn’t have acted any other way. You were scared, you couldn’t control yourself. and I understand that. And I promise that if you ever feel like that again, I’ll help you. I don’t care how hurt I get; I’ll be able to sew myself back up afterwards.” She smirked.

Rex sighed. “But I was being dramatic! And needy… while I’m whining about my own life… you were cooped up in that attic…” “You were anxious; everyone is dramatic when they’re anxious.” “You’re not…” Rex trailed off. “You’re much braver than me.” He admitted. Amy sighed. But not out of annoyance. “Yes, you are.” Amy countered. “If you weren’t, you wouldn’t be here. And it was brave of you to tell me why you were scared in the first place, it shows good character.” “… it shows good character to be a fraidy cat?” “Yep. When you’re scared, you become stronger by facing what scares. And I know you can face them, Rex.” Amy smiled at him. “What if I can’t?” “You can. And I’ll be right beside you if you need me, no matter what.” “T-thank you, Amy.” Rex stuttered, but grinning.

Well, if Amy thinks he could, he thought, maybe he can.

GLOWING.

Rex fiddled with his hands nervously in the remaining hour till Andy got home. Amy, Hamm, Woody, and Slinky tried to distract the dino with a game of cards.

“He’s coming!” Mr. Potato Head yelled, and the other toys ran back to their places. Amy helped Rex back onto the bed. The dinosaur in question had a pained expression on his face. And he whimpered, staring into space. Amy smiled sympathetically “You’re going to be fine, Rex, I promise.” She whispered reassuringly, before going limp as Andy burst into the room.

To Rex’s dismay, he was carrying a paper bag. Just like the one in his nightmare. Just like the one he’d came in years’ prior today. He felt sick. So this is it…Andy grinned and took the object out of the box, ripping it’s packaging. I’m doomed… Rex thought, he tried to focus on what Amy had said, but he couldn’t…

Rex wasn’t sure if he wanted to cry or laugh as Andy pulled out what he had bought.

It was a lamp. He had worked himself up. For a lamp. Its lampshade had a Jurassic landscape on it, with T-Rexes and Triceratopses and other dinosaurs on it.

Andy spotted Rex on the bed. His face lit up. “Look! It’s the most fearsome creature on the planet!” He grabbed Rex and a few other toys, and started playing.

This playtime, Rex was a ferocious, toy-eating carnivore, stomping across the saloon, eating all in sight. (Even cacti!) He had taken Amy hostage, and she screamed in his grasp, trying to swat him away with her soft cotton hands to no avail. “Help me! Help me please!” she screamed. Luckily, Woody and Buzz, (Ever the dynamic duo,) defeated Rex. Buzz had distracted him with his laser, and Rex followed it like a cat, entangling him in Woody’s lasso, (Slinky). Andy’s Mother then called him downstairs for dinner/tea.

As the toys sprung to life, happy about tonight’s playtime, Rex was undoubtedly the happiest. He grinned at Amy, who was beside him. “You were right.” He said, Amy beamed, “See? What did I tell you? Andy would never replace you.” Rex blanched. “Yeah, but why…?” “... Because who would?” Amy muttered to herself. She wasn’t sure if Rex heard, and she wasn’t quite sure why she had said it.

It was true that she was fond of Rex, but of course, not that fond. After all, he was a dinosaur, and she was a ragdoll, it would just be far too strange. And what if Andy gets another dinosaur... one with pretty scales…? Amy thought with worriment, before snapping out of it. Oh now I’m doing it! She mentally scolded herself, as she and Rex continued to converse.

That night, when Andy was getting ready for bed, the lamp was the only source of light. Silhouettes of dinosaurs patterned the walls with a warm yellowy glow. Rex watched the dinosaur shadows with amusement. Amy had been right. But say, if Andy ever did get a dinosaur, he or she, or they, for that matter, no matter how cool or scary they were, could never replace him. Also, he decided, if Andy did, it might not be so bad.

Especially if the other dinosaur was just as kind as Amy.

[amydancepants-peralta]

Jake getting adventurous and sneaking a vibrator into Amys underwear and she has to sit through an interview as he toys with her

Ok so I tweaked this a little and this came out of nowhere but I really love the idea of this so ... find it under the cut! 🙊

He waits until she’s well into reciting the third paragraph of Subsection Eight before running his thumb over the button in his pocket, pressing once to keep the device at its lowest speed.  

To her credit, there is only the slightest falter in her voice, short enough to be considered a tickle in her throat by anyone other than him, and he takes great pleasure in knowing that while the tickle does exist, it is actually much further down.  

He keeps the vibration on low for the rest of her speech - subtle enough for Amy to be aware of its existence, not quite strong enough to gain anything more than heightened senses.  Alternates between the on and off button once her part is over, tampering the urge to smile as she keeps her gaze steadily focused on the boardroom in front of her, clearly refusing to break the facade that everything isn’t Completely Normal.   

Her hand lands with a quiet slap on his inner thigh fifteen minutes later as the vibrator begins moving steadily at full speed, and he’s pretty sure he’s got this win in the bag.  

It had all started out as an idle bet (admittedly, like a lot of their shenanagoogles do) - an attempt to make what had threatened to be a boring day into something far more interesting.  The dangling carrot of a glowing evaluation had led to Jake signing up for the next HR seminar - this one being held at another precinct downtown - and Amy, after such a stellar display of preparation at the nine-nine’s turn, had been invited back to show off her ‘impressively professional portfolio of knowledge on the topic’.

(He’s pretty sure that detail alone had turned Amy on before their bet had even started, but that was just an added benefit.)

The Lock-n-Play panty vibe was a relatively new addition to their repertoire - among the few items recently purchased from their preferred sex shop - but one that was quickly becoming their favourite, if only for it’s handy magnetic tabs that kept the vibe in place (because really, is there any universe where Amy Santiago isn’t a massive fan of a well-placed set of tabs?).  

She had been halfway through casually mentioning (read: straight-up bragging) her quoted professional manner as they got dressed this morning when the idea had come to Jake, the toy’s remote still sitting on his dresser from it’s weekend workout and catching his eye as he reached for his watch.  He hadn’t ever thought that she’d actually go through with it - which is on him, really, because his wife rarely steps down from a challenge - and mentioned it merely as a passing joke until he noticed the spark of interest in his wife’s eyes, and realised that there was a chance that this could actually happen.

The conversation was quick: their terms clear.  Amy would wear the vibe in her underwear, with Jake having sole possession of the remote.  He could activate it anytime he liked, as long as he adhered to the kill sign (three quick squeezes of his wrist) if actioned, and the only thing Amy had to do was not break her Professional Sergeant at a Seminar role.  If Jake won, he got to choose their movies for the next two weeks.  If victory went to Amy, he had to eat a salad for lunch every single day for a fortnight.

(There would also be the added benefit of nightly foot rubs, but given the baby that was currently growing in his wife’s uterus, nightly massages were kind of a given.)  

The stakes weren’t necessarily high, but both of them loved to win; and Jake would be straight-up lying if he didn’t admit that just the idea of his wife secretly being buzzed to climax in a boardroom full of strangers didn’t turn him on more than a little.  

From his position at the front of the room, Andrew The Presenter switches over to non-verbal communications, and for no reason other than sheer curiosity Jake switches the vibrator into it’s highest mode, biting the inside of his cheek as Amy’s shoulders jump in surprise.

It only takes a minute before she shifts forward in her chair, resting on her elbows before wriggling slightly in her seat; and to anybody that cared to pay attention to her and Jake’s position at the back of the room it would have looked like nothing more than a restless woman waking up her limbs.  But Jake knew better - knew that the tip of the vibe raised slightly, ergonomically designed to cup a woman’s clit in all the right ways - and there wasn’t a doubt in his mind that Amy was maximising the opportunity for pleasure while it lasted.  

He gives her another twenty seconds, waiting until the wriggling seems to have stopped before pressing the off button once again, not even pretending to ignore the exasperated look she throws him from over her shoulder.  He gives her a wink, to which she responds with a roll of her eyes, and he is always going to be in love with what they have together.  

She pulls him aside during the coffee break, leading him down an unfamiliar hallway into a stationery supply cupboard (her knowledge of its presence, he assumes instinctual); pulling him in for a hungry kiss as soon as she hears the lock click into place.  Their makeout session is hurried and passionate - the kind of teeth-gnashing, body-pawing kisses you give each other when you know there’s not enough time for what you really crave - and as they move to return back to the group he offers her the chance to call off the bet, no questions asked.  (The foot rubs after all, were already a given, and he’s pretty sure that stack of green stuff they put on top of nachos counted as a salad.)  But she stops in her tracks, eyes blazing as she presses a hand to his chest and gives her answer in no uncertain terms: 

Don’t you dare stop.

It’s the clear arousal in her voice that keeps Jake from activating the vibrator again for another forty minutes, waiting until a slideshow on Something Boring begins playing before sliding his hands back into the pockets of his hoodie, sliding his thumb casually over the power button and slowly working the vibe back up to it’s previous level.  

Her hand lands back on his upper thigh after another few minutes, the grip tightening slightly when he presses the button again, and he takes his hand out his hoodie, grabbing her wrist and moving it towards his own - a silent reminder that he’ll stop in an instant, if she only asked.  But she wriggles her hand out of his grasp, returning to the previous position, leaning back in her chair in what completely fails to be a casual pose.  Her fingers creep towards his inner thigh, a movement that undoubtedly brings his growing hard-on to her attention, and she leans forwards again to let out a shaky breath.   

The high level buzzing is quietly audible through her uniform now, perhaps more noticeable because his imagination wants it to be, and her ribs begin to expand and contract at a steady pace.  

Jake knows that if he keeps this up, Amy is absolutely going to climax - perhaps too far into the sensations the vibrations were giving to realise that she would be doing so in the middle of a seminar - but he also knows that his beautiful wife is not quiet when she comes.  It’s one of the many (many) things he loves about her; the clear display of unbridled passion that courses through her, the way her voice tends to shake a little as she calls out his name - or yes, or fuck, or a combination of the above.  

But she hasn’t given the signal, and there is a good portion of his blood that is most definitely not pumping through his brain anymore, and so he obeys the silent instruction, and keeps his finger on the increase button.

She excuses herself a few minutes later, standing quickly and offering an apologetic smile, pointing to her growing baby bump as the reason for nature calling.  Her boots tap quickly across the tiled floor as she exits, head ducked down low to convey the urgency of her steps (a movement that he is certain is not an act).  

He waits another couple of minutes before switching off the vibe, hoping the remote holds enough range; and his phone buzzes shortly after, the notification on his locked screen telling him that Babe ♥️ has just sent him an image.  And while he’s absolutely bursting at the seams to unlock and look, he also knows that it will most certainly lead to a wet patch on the front of his jeans, and there really is no coming back from that.

And so he trains his attention back to the Manual of Boredom in front of him, reading through various scenarios involving Employee A and Colleague D, all the while trying desperately to get his mind to focus on arithmetic … asparagus … Scully’s foot fungus … all the genuinely unsexy things in life.  His phone vibrates again, another text from his wife causing his mind to nearly implode, and time has somehow completely come to a standstill.  

Amy leans in to kiss his cheek when she returns, using the closeness of her position to whisper in his ear just how hard she’d just come, and Jake absolutely needs this seminar to end now - right now, please oh god, end now.  

It takes another hour before they have a lunch break - a solid hour of Jake running through a breakdown of all Transformers - Autobots, Dinobots and Decepticons inclusive - and when Amy finally stands, grabbing his hand and leading him towards the parking lot he follows willingly, by now completely unable to contain a gigantic smile from taking over his face.

She drives their car up to the very top of the garage, parking in an empty spot right at the edge of the otherwise abandoned section before sliding over the gears and settling onto his lap.  Her nimble fingers find the lever to the side, dropping the seat’s backing towards the rear, his zipper descending just as quickly.  

It doesn’t last long - both of them way too close to the edge for it to be anything but quick - but by the time they need to head back to the seminar it’s fairly safe to say that Jake no longer has a hangup about having sex in a car in a garage.  

She packs a salad for his lunch the following morning, pulling him in for a longer-than-normal kiss as he lets out a defeated sigh, and while Jake knows that while he technically lost the bet, they both got to have some pretty great orgasms yesterday and really, how could that ever be considered a loss?

(and when he receives an email a year later, reminding him of an upcoming refresher course on HR, he absolutely sets up a plan to raise the stakes for Sexy Seminar, version 2.0.)

[gatherthesuspectspod]

Our London Podcast Festival Script

Two weeks ago, Gather The Suspects were invited to perform a short live piece as part of the Audio Drama Debuts Hour. We had such a blast and while we don’t have a recording of the brand new material we performed, here is the script we performed in full: 

GATHER THE SUSPECTS: LONDON PODCAST FESTIVAL

SCENE 1: INT: JACK AND KARA’S FLAT

JACK and GERAINT are sat in JACK’S flat. They are playing a game on the PlayStation…

JACK: Get him! Get him! Aaaaah, balls. G, why didn’t you cover me!

GERAINT: I told you I’m rubbish at this game

JACK: Are you still stuck in the doorway at the spawn point… hah - you are! What a noob! Coo-ey…Geraint...

GERAINT: Hey! No friendly fire!

JACK: Ger, you know the rules, if it’s part of the game then it’s all fair…

GERAINT: You shot my guy blank in the face… I really don’t see how that’s part of the ga- oooh, I have another life left! 

JACK: You don’t get lives anymore in games, G… this isn’t the 80s

GERAINT: What about Super Mario?

JACK: Nope… you run out of lives, you just lose coins now…

GERAINT:  I dunno, society really is beyond repair! Talking of which…what about this ‘big case’ you’ve been working on...  (reacting to the game) Ha-hah! I’m out of the door! Finally! (back to Jack) I’m guessing, as you’re sat here with me getting your arse kicked at video games... likely by some random twelve-year-olds… that it’s going swimmingly!

JACK: Hey, I’m not getting my arse kicked… I’m just… never mind that. I have a day off...Who’d have thought going undercover would be so exhausting! 

GERAINT: Yeah, to be honest, the thought of you having a job is still quite amusing, even if it is just for appearance’s sake.

JACK: Hey, what’s so funny about me having a job? 

GERAINT: (laughing) Oh, I don’t know, maybe it’s the… (Jack shoots him a look) 

GERAINT: (composing himself) Oh, you were serious... Oh, nothing…just didn’t really see it as your...um… ‘scene,’ that’s all... So, you reckon you can solve it?

JACK: Uh-huh… 

GERAINT: Aaand? 

JACK: Just uh-huh… nothing much to write home about yet, really. 

GERAINT: Jack, it’s a murder, surely there must be something exciting! Like what happened?

JACK: Angry boss…disgruntled employees... shot, by the looks of it… (reacting to the game) YES! Take that… right in the…(remembers what they were talking about)... oh, uuh… that’s about it really…

GERAINT:  “That’s about it?” Sounds like quite a big deal to me… so, you got any suspects?

JACK: That’s the problem right now… there is literally an entire office full of ‘em! But, it’s my day off and I am not thinking about it… just going to chill here and play some…

SOUND: PHONEVIBE.WAV

JACK: (Sighs)... hello…

KARA (on phone): Hey…

JACK: Hey Kara

KARA (on phone): Guess what?

JACK: The office has burned down and I don’t have to go back to work tomorrow?

KARA (on phone): Hah, you wish… no… Harrison just announced in the morning meeting that the police are coming in today to search everyone’s lockers… The whole sales team is freaking out! 

JACK: (excitedly) What!? The police are actually doing something? I can just imagine their panicked little faces!

KARA (on phone): Dai blew up at Harrison in the meeting and called it ‘an affront to his human rights...” Like, since when has douchebag Dai cared about anyone’s human rights when he’s been sleazing his way around the office. 

JACK: Ooooh, I’m coming in! 

KARA (on phone): You won’t be allowed… your card won’t let you into the building if you’re booked off on holiday… 

JACK: What about if I ask Harrison about coming in? Surely he’ll -

KARA (on phone): You’ll be lucky, he’s gone golfing. You’ll just have to wait for me to get home and fill you in on all the fun and games, I’m afraid.

JACK: Gaah! Just give me a call if they find anything, alright? 

KARA (on phone): Jack, it’s the police... they couldn’t find anything if it was surrounded by a big shiny arrow and neon writing declaring ‘I’m a clue’. Think you are safe on that one… It will be interesting to see how people react though. Like I said, they all seem pretty worried at the mo... Me and V are going to watch - I’ll let you know if any fireworks happen.

JACK: Thanks, K. Bye.

KARA (on phone): Tarra, bye. 

Phone beeps as JACK hangs up. 

JACK: Ger, get your coat… we are going to work……..

GERAINT: What?! Now? I was just getting the hang of this bloody thing too!

JACK: I’ll explain on the way. We are going on a stakeout!

SCENE 2: EXT: WELTEL CAR PARK

We open on JACK and GERAINT stood in the carpark of the Weltel call centre.

JACK: Oooh, how exciting, our first stakeout! 

GERAINT: While I’d like to share your enthusiastic outlook on the situation, couldn’t you at least have hired a car or something… just standing here in the open staring at the building doesn’t feel very… well, ‘discrete’, quite frankly. 

JACK: (mocking) Oh, I’m sorry ‘chief inspector’, I would have gone for the usual unmarked car with tinted windows, but the carpool budget has been rather reduced since, you know, the world fell apart. 

GERAINT: Alright, alright. I was just saying... We aren’t exactly inconspicuous stood here though, are we? Particularly when you keep looking through those opera glasses!

JACK: I was rushing and couldn’t find my binoculars…

GERAINT: Why do you even have opera glasses anyway… have you ever even been to the opera -

JACK: (interrupting) Shush! Look… (whispering) act natural… (they act very unnatural, suspiciously looking around staring at the sky and their shoes. 

GERAINT starts to whistle and turns away from the mic) what’s she doing?

GERAINT: Who is it? I can’t see because of all the acting natural….

JACK: (gives up whispering) Oh, just turn around, mun. Look, it’s Amy…

GERAINT: Jack, you seem to forget, I don’t work here… I have literally no idea who that is!

JACK: OK, so… Amy is married to Dai, who is possibly having an affair with the other Amy, who is definitely selling coke in the toilets to Hikari, who got in a fight with Harrison, who is having an affair with Julie, which was discovered by Cathy...

GERAINT: Who swallowed the fly… but, we are yet to discover why she swallowed said fly… perhaps…

JACK: Don’t be facetious… It’s Cathy who has been murdered, mun…

GERAINT: Aah

JACK: Get it now…

GERAINT: (unsure) Uuuh, not entirely… no… it sounds like being in school again!

JACK: Very much is, G. Just exchange flashing your rare pokemon cards around the playground for flashing your five-figure Rolex around the weekly stats meeting... and it’s basically the same.

GERAINT: What’s she doing, can you see? 

JACK: She’s stuffing something into the wheelie bins… 

SOUND: DOOR.WAV

JACK: Good she’s gone… let’s go see what it was…

SOUND: DOOR.WAV

GERAINT: Wait… who’s that…

JACK: That’s douchebag Dai… let’s just hang back here a bit…

GERAINT: Douchebag Dai?

JACK: Yup… his name is David and he is a douchebag… easy enough…

GERAINT: And he is the one selling coke in the toilets?

JACK: No, keep up, G… That’s Amy… the other Amy… the one that Dai is sleeping with and not the Amy he’s married to and just saw shove stuff furtively into a wheelie bin.

GERAINT: She’s isn’t the only one either… look where your Douchebag Dai’s headed… 

JACK: The bins! Quick, what’s he holding, G… can you see?

GERAINT: (sarcastically) Why don’t you take a look with your opera glasses?

JACK: Aaah too late, he’s stuffed it in there… 

SOUND: DOOR.WAV

JACK: Right, quick let’s go see what…

SOUND: DOOR.WAV

JACK: (annoyed and too loud) Aah, Jesus Christ! What now... 

GERAINT: Sssshhhhh!

JACK: Uh-oh, she’s looking around… duck.

GERAINT: Back to my earlier point… I’m not sure ‘absolutely nothing’ provides us with the best form of cover for quickly ducking out of sight...

JACK: Look, It’s not like I’m particularly experienced in hiding around spying on unsuspecting people, is it…just get over here by these flower beds… Oooh, It’s Julie! 

GERAINT: Another one heading to the wheelie bins! (innocently) Clean office, is it?

JACK: Like the Tour de France, G

SOUND: DOOR.WAV

JACK: Let’s just hang back and check no-one else wants to empty the content of their guilty conscience in the bin before we go… (wait and look around)

GERAINT: I think we’re good

JACK: Right, let’s have a look at what we’ve got… (lifting the lid) Eeeeugh it stinks… (they both peer into the bin)...look there’s some stuff right down there at the bottom… G climb in and get it - I’ll hold the lid…

GERAINT: I’m not climbing in there! This is your case, you climb in there...  

JACK: Well I can’t go in, it’ll set off my asthma…

GERAINT: Since when have you had asthma?

JACK: (coughing for effect) I don’t tell you everything about my life, you know, Ger...and, if you must know, it comes and goes… 

GERAINT: What? like, comes when you don’t want to do the dirty work yourself and goes all the rest of the time…

JACK: My doctor said I’m not to go near anything that could set it off, like dust.. Or uum…

GERAINT: Hard work? Oh, for goodness sake, just give me a boost in, OK? But you owe me! (JACK helps GERAINT into the bin) So… what have we got here… (rustles around in the small amount of rubbish covering the floor of the bin.) Some receipts for a restaurant called ‘Chez Henri’ and what looks like a stack of love letters badly wrapped up in cellotape… here you go…

JACK: (reading) “To my Darling, H. Each moment I stare at you through the glass is pure torture…” Well, that’s creepy! Anything else…

GERAINT: A lot of empty tinfoil packets… you sure you had the right Amy?

JACK: Well I didn’t say who else she was selling the stuff to...

GERAINT: There’s a folder in here too… It’s got pictures in here of Harrison and Julie… wait, there’s something else in the back part… oh my god… Jack - It’s a gun!

JACK: What?! Let’s have a - Jeeeeesus, that’s a bloody gun! 

GERAINT: I see why you have developed such a good reputation for your detective skills… What are we going to do with it? 

JACK: Look don’t touch it - I’ll…

POLICEMAN: Hey!

JACK: Oh bloody hell, it’s the fuzz… hide (Jack slams the lid shut and runs)

GERAINT: (whispering angrily) Jack! What? Let me out of here! I swear to god I’m going to…

The POLICEMAN walks over and lifts the lid

GERAINT: (flustered) Uh, hi? 

POLICEMAN: Hello, sir… may I enquire as to why you are sat inside a wheelie bin holding a gun?  

GERAINT: I...Uh… oh bloody hell

---End---

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #449-450

(both from yesterday)

What do you dislike about the house you live in? It's in the suburbs. Have you thought more about your funeral, or your wedding? My hypothetical wedding. Dinosaurs or unicorns? DINO BOIZ. What do you think of Maroon 5? I like some of their old stuff, and one or two of their newer songs, like "Payphone." What about Coldplay? I enjoy them. Fall Out Boy? Love 'em. Katy Perry? She's okay, I guess. There are a few songs I enjoy. Have you ever snuck into an R-rated movie when you weren’t old enough to see it without parents? No. What is your favorite Disney show? I don't have the slightest clue what's on Disney nowadays. What do you miss most about elementary school? Digging tunnels in the sandbox during recess with my friends. :'( When was the last time you saw the person you had your first kiss with? The start of February 2017. Hard to believe it's been four whole years... Is there anything hanging from the doorknob in your room? Ha, yes. Mom got me a little sign that says, "If I can't wear my flipflops, I'm not going," lmfao. All I wear are flipflops. What's your opinion on wearing pajamas in public? Do you yourself do that? I LITERALLY couldn't care less. I wear pjs in public sometimes; it really depends on where I'm going. What was the most severe punishment your parents gave you when you were growing up? Taking away technology was the worst. Do you usually fill up at the same gas station? Mom goes to a few different ones, depending on proximity and price. Have you ever owned any pet birds? What kinds/colours? I have not. I used to want a cockatiel for a long time, though. Do you pay much attention to your YouTube recommendations? If so, what was the last video that caught your attention? Kinda, I guess. I'm not sure what was the last recommended video I clicked. What has been the happiest time of your life so far? It's complicated. Most of my best memories are from high school with Jason, yet at the same time I was HORRIBLY depressed. I think my most pure happiness when I was really progressing with recovery. Moving on from him, losing tons of weight, feeling motivated... Have you ever had a crush on a celebrity? Who? My two biggest celebrity crushes ever have been/is Link Neal and Mark Fischbach. Do you have any fears you would rarely admit to anyone? Nah. Admitting fears isn't a big deal to me at all. What website do you spend most of your time on? YouTube. What did you have for dinner last night? A chicken sandwich. What could you talk about for hours? Meerkats, Silent Hill, Mark... Do you have a lamp beside your bed? Yes. What's your favorite ice cream topping? Chocolate syrup. What was the last TV show you binge watched? Avatar: The Last Airbender. Would you rather eat burgers or tacos? Oh, burgers for sure. I don't likes tacos. Did your mother change her maiden name when/if she got marred? Yes. Do you use TikTok? Nope. Are you closer to your mother or father? Mom. Do you own any costumes? No. Would you care if your SO went to a strip club? Hm. So long as they're not laying hands on any of the strippers and they ASKED me first, I don't think I'd care? I'm pretty sure I'd also only be okay with that if we were a long-term couple where very strong trust has been built. How helpful are your parents to you? Would they help you to pay for your first apartment? College? Where does the line end? They are so, so very helpful and I'm pretty sure would go to the ends of the earth to help me in any way they could. I know they WOULD help pay for the things you mentioned, but it's not something I want them to do. I want to be able to financially provide for myself, one day... Have you ever had to evacuate due to natural disaster? No. What video games did you have when you were growing up? LOADS. I looooooooved video games. What was the first election you ever voted in? This last one, actually. Can you hear anything right now? Yeah. I'm watching Gab play the Resident Evil 3 remake on hardcore mode. What's the coolest, most unusual pet you can think of? I've always thought sugar gliders were quite interesting as pets. I wanted one for a looong time, but I am not informed on how well they do in captivity and if it should even be legal for me to truly want one anymore. Have you ever seen a UFO or other weird object in the sky? By definition, it was a UFO. Sometimes I do even wonder if it was an alien spacecraft, given JUST how strange that shit was. I won't explain it again, just 'cuz I've done it in many surveys before. Are there any albums you know every single lyric to? I could probably nail Ozzy's Black Rain. What's your go-to painkiller? Advil. Does your mom have a celebrity look-alike? No, but there's a celebrity with her exact name. Do you think it’s pretty when 100s of balloons are let loose into the sky? NO NO NO NO NO that shit is SO upsetting. Where do you think they end up??? It's littering. Animals get choked and tangled by them all the time. What do you draw more than anything else? Definitely meerkats. Have you ever visited someone in a psychiatric home or ward? No, but people have visited me in one. Have you ever received a parking fine? No. Are you in any group chats? Who's in them? No. Do you have a lisp? No. Do you have an Instagram account? Do you use it often? I have three, but one's pretty much dead. I don't post stuff regularly on my other two either, really... Can you parallel park? I would absolutely hit another car. Have you ever played paintball? Did you get hit? No, that shit's dumb. You can get really hurt. What was your favorite fairy tale when you were a kid? Maybe Little Red Riding Hood? Are your parents still together? If not, do you know why? No. Mostly financial disagreements, but I know there's stuff I don't know. Have you ever been evicted? Why? Yes, because we couldn't keep up with rent. Have you ever worked as a manager or supervisor? Noooo. What was the last thing you voted for? So Snake Discovery (a reptile channel I love) hosted an enclosure build-off recently, and the winners were selected by fans via voting. The guy I voted for got 3rd. What's the most amazing animal you've ever seen in captivity? I've been very close to an elephant at a zoo once. They're magnificent. Having been to Sea World as a kid (I would NEVER go now), I also saw the killer whale show. As much of a spectacle as it was, it was animal abuse regardless. Do you like white chocolate? It's okay in small doses. Have you ever eaten snow? Yeah. Do you talk to your pets? Um, duh. Have you ever adopted a stray? (Cat or dog?) Cats, yes. Do you read about any mythology? (Greek, Roman, Norse, Egyptian, etc) No, not by my own will. I DO love mythology, I just... don't read it. Do you ever use bath bombs? No. Have you ever gotten angry at an employee and complained to the manager? No. Have you ever sent your food back at a restaurant? Yes, because they got my meal wrong. I was REALLY shy to do it, but I made sure to do it politely and apologetically. Do you sleep in a bra? What mad lad sleeps in a bra???????????? Has your ex ever gone out with someone close to you? No. Can you suggest someone funny on YouTube? I'll go for someone what isn't my obvious vote, ha ha. There are truly so many, but Garrett Watts is high on the list. Elena Bateman, too. Can you do a handstand? No. Has anyone close to you ever been suicidal? Yes. Have you ever broken someone's heart and didn't care? Tyler sure acted like I did, and to be entirely frank, I didn't care very much, but only because it was a HUGE overreaction and I knew he'd be fine quick. What color is your hairbrush? It's just a white comb. Who was your most recent call from? My psychiatrist. Have you ever watched someone die? Only animals... It's the absolute worst. Are you currently "seeing" someone? No. Are you friends with someone who's autistic? I might be, but I know my niece is on the spectrum. Do you like humans? To be entirely transparent... I think I wish humans were never a thing. We've done so, so much harm to the planet, some things irrevocable. Earth would be a much healthier, far more peaceful place if we'd never existed. Do you like pandas? I love pandas. P.S., fuck outta here if you're one of the people who don't support conservation efforts for them. That shit blows my mind. What do you think of Evanescence? They're great. Amy's voice is absolutely incredible. I don't even think that's an opinion, but global fact, ha ha. What do you think of Avenged Sevenfold? I like some of their stuff. I haven't heard a whole lot though, honestly. What do you think of Halestorm? ^ Do you think you are attractive? God no. I don't see me as an attractive person at all. Do you like dinosaurs? I love 'em; I was OBSESSED as a kid, and my first aspired job was a paleontologist. Do you like lasagna? No. Do you share a room? No. When was the last time you climbed a tree? Never, actually. Have you ever been hospitalized for more than 2 weeks? I think my longest was three. What can you do that none of your friends can do? I dunno. Why did you last go to the airport? Mom and I were dropping Sara off so she could go home. Who was the last person to see you in your underwear? My mom. Who’s the most attractive female you’ve ever seen? Maybe Alissa White-Gluz from Arch Enemy? Or my friend Alon. I'm certain there's more, because women are just so fuckin beautiful asdkfajlwejkrjqwe Red, white, yellow, or pink roses? I actually like the original, rich red. Do you think someone would ever want to marry you? Well, two people have, but one absolutely doesn't anymore and the other knows that it's not healthy or emotionally safe for either of us to imagine that at this time. I don't know if anyone ever will again. Do you like Thanksgiving? No. Like I enjoy the focus on thankfulness, but the history isn't right and I don't enjoy the food. Do you ever wear colored eye liner? No. Have you ever used a darkroom? No. Have you ever been "popular"? No. Has someone ever tried to convert you? Yes. Have you ever been told that you dress like a slut? No, not that how someone dresses has any relevance to their sexual activity. What’s your most recent obsession? Final Fantasy X jfccccccc. Video games or board games? The former. Are you scared of tarantulas? As much as I talk about them... you can probably tell I have a massive interest in them, ha ha. However, even though I love them, they're still sorta scary. Like, threat poses are no joke. And it's terrifying on the very rare occasion they hiss. During Covid, do you wear a mask or no mask? I'm fully vaccinated, and yet I still wear a mask because I'm a considerate human fucking being. Do you have a PlayStation 4? No, but I reeeeaaally want one. :/ Have you ever played Fortnite? Nah, not my type of game. Do you like anime? Yeah. Have you ever been on a boat? Yeah. I was always SO excited as a kid when Dad would take the boat out for a fishing trip. Have you ever played Kingdom Hearts? I've played some of it with Jason. I wasn't a fan of it. Have you ever built a snowman? Yes. DC or Marvel? I don't really have a preference.

----------

Do you prefer your nails long or short? Why? Short, because I can't keep my nails long for the life of me. I pick/peel my nails badly. Do you have any vinyl records? No. Are you still in touch with your best friend from high school? No. Have you ever visited any celebrity gravesites? No. How do you feel about archaeology? It's extremely fascinating. Would you have a big cat (like a tiger) for a pet if you could? No. I could never provide the environment they need, and it's simply not safe. They are not domestic animals, and even the ones that seem most tame can surprise you. What are your favorite smells? Cinnamon rolls, coffee, lilac, fresh baked bread, barbecue, etc. Have you ever had to block people online for harassing you? I'm not sure, actually... What is your favorite thing to do on The Sims? Surveys have a lot of questions about those games... I only ever played the ones that focused on animals, and I think I most enjoyed breeding them and naming the bbz. :^) And watching their behavior. Which hair color you've had has been your favorite? Red. If you were stupid-rich, would you ever actually want a mansion? No. I do not need all that room, nor am I wasting my money on such excessive space. What drinking games have you played? None. Do you take lessons for anything? No. Has something really heavy ever fallen on you? No. If you wear makeup, what colors do you usually wear? Only black. Does your shower have curtains or a glass door/wall? Curtains. If you have more than one pet, do they ever get jealous of each other? One is a snake and the other is a cat, so. Is there a room in your house that you don’t like going in? No. Besides salt and butter, do you put anything on your popcorn? Nothing besides what you mentioned. Are you lonely? I'm way too lonely for it to be healthy. Do you like pineapple? Yep. Have you ever seen fireflies? Yes; they're endemic to here. Have you ever trespassed? As a kid, yes. Do you raise your hand or participate in class? I did sometimes. Are you afraid of heights? Yes. Are you afraid of the dark? No. Would you ever be your school’s mascot who wears that costume? No. Have you ever written a poem? I've written a lot. Would you ever be a tornado chaser? FUCK TO THE HELL NO. What is your favorite thing to eat with bbq sauce, if you even like that stuff? I hate bbq sauce. Have you ever had to do a class in summer school? No. Have you ever been to the rainforest? No. Ever thought about writing a book? Yes. Have you ever had a dream where you killed someone? Yes. Have you ever solved a Rubik’s Cube? Nope. Have you seen all of the Jaws movies? No, only the first one with Tyler. It was aight. Have you ever had a black eye? No. Is your ex sexually attractive to you still? I haven't seen a picture of Jason in years, and I don't want to. Not because I care about how he looks now, it'd just be extremely triggering to see his face. I still find Sara gorgeous. Have you ever been to couple’s counseling? No. How often does your employer ask you to work overtime? N/A When was the last time you were scared? Ummmm I really can't say I know. What’s your favorite song by Rihanna? "Disturbia" is where it's AT. There's this synthwave edit of it that I positively adore. Can you speak binary? No. Have you ever had a pet that you disliked? A family pet, yes. Do you like boys with long hair? UGH yes. Do you like root beer? Not really, no. Do you like ice cream cake? Not really. Do you ever dream of yourself dying? That's not all that rare in my nightmares. What song always makes you sad? I think two songs are tied for what makes me most sad: "Stairway to Heaven" by Led Zeppelin and "Eternally Yours" by Motionless In White. Were you mean as a little kid? No; I was a sweet kid. Have you ever tried spam? No, it looks SO gross to me. How fast can you run? This is pathetic, but I don't think I CAN run. My knees are too weak. I think my weight coming down on them would just make me crumple over. Have you ever bought something from Spencer's? Yeah. Have you ever been on a diet? I've tried diets many times. Do you prefer light or dark jeans? Dark. When you listen to music, do you generally sing along, or just listen? I almost always just listen. Do you have any of your exes as friends on Facebook? Yeah. Who was your first love? Do you ever miss that person? Jason. I miss his memory every day. I say "memory" because it's been years, and I have no way of knowing who he is today. How many cars are parked at your house right now? One. Has anyone ever told you you’re a control freak? No. Do you know anyone who has gone missing? If so, were they ever found? Not personally. What was the spiciest thing you’ve ever eaten? Some wings with extremely hot sauce at Buffalo Wild Wings. Have you ever deliberately tried to get someone drunk? Um yeah, no. Do you like sprinkles on your ice cream? No. I don't like sprinkles in general. Do you know how to do the moon walk? No. Has anybody ever told you that you have a good singing voice? Yes, somehow. Onion rings or french fries? French fries, for sure. Who is the best cook that you know? Dunno. If you have your ears pierced, when did you get them pierced? When I was a kid. I don't remember the age, but I was old enough to decide myself that I wanted them pierced. If you have siblings, have they moved out or do they still live with you? They have their own places now. Do you like fried rice? Yessss. Are there any animals you refuse to touch? Some bugs. Have you ever intentionally fed a house spider? I don't believe so, no. What makes you feel lucky? That I have the family I do. What is something nice going on in your life right now? Just the gym-going, really... Who’s the worst person you’ve encountered on the Internet? An old friend I just knew as Shakes. If death wasn’t a consequence, what would you try? Maybe sky-diving, idk. Has a teacher ever told you off? No. Have you ever told off a teacher? No. Do/did you take school seriously or not? I certainly did. How do you usually cope with breakups? Not well. I obsess over how something's wrong with me and I'm not good enough for anyone. Disney princess or Disney animal movies? Animals, for sure. What's your favorite Katy Perry song? It's evading me right now... Have you ever made/tried friendship bread!? Omg, I forgot that was a thing! I actually have. I've completely forgotten the gist of it or even how it tastes, but I remember I loved it. What do you want to know about the future? If I'll ever be content and happy. What's your biggest insecurity? My weight. Ever found something disgusting in your food while eating out? No, thank god. Does the area where you live have a good or bad reputation? A very bad one. Are there any holidays that you don't celebrate? Yeah, like St. Patrick's Day, among some others. If you could find out who you're gonna marry right now, would you? Yes. Save myself time and heartbreak. How important is it to you that your partner has the same religious views? I wouldn't date someone very religious. If they're more tame about it, that's fine, but I'd prefer to not date a religious individual. Do you own a Wii? Yeah. I've kinda been wanting to play Guitar Hero or Rock Band lately on it... Do you like a lot of cheese on your pizza? "A regular, reasonable amount of cheese." <<<< This. I really don't like when things are so cheesy that it leaves a ridiculous trail when you try to separate pieces. Have you ever been made fun of because of your sexuality? Not directly to my face, but I can guarantee people I know had certain ~opinions~ on it when I came out. I also like just came out as pansexual versus bi, and I'm not even telling a lot of people in my personal life because I know they'll find the concept absolutely ridiculous. What would you do if you found an abandoned animal? "Depends on what type of an animal it was, and whether it was friendly or skittish." <<<< This. I'm obviously not going to try to usher a rabid dog over to me (I'd call a rescue or something if the animal appeared potentially dangerous), but if the animal appeared safe, my heart would absolutely lead me to try and get the animal to come to me so I could take it home and try to find the owner. Have you ever kissed someone who had a tongue piercing? No. What singer/band do you think deserves to be more famous than they are? Jonathan Young from YouTube. He is INCREDIBLE. He deserves to be picked up by a label so badly. What is your favorite PlayStation 1 game? The original Silent Hill, no competition. Do you think objectum sexuals are real, or attention seekers? I really can't imagine someone pretending to want to fuck their car for attention. I don't get it AT ALL, and it's weird as shit to me, but I mean, I don't think people can control what they're attracted to. How far out of your age bracket would you date? 21-early 30s, probs. Have you ever had an STD? No. Have you ever tried pho? No. Pick one: Crash Bandicoot or Spyro? Spyro!!!! I have the original trilogies of both series, but Spyro is where it's AT. Does your job allow piercings or tattoos? I'm unemployed, but I wouldn't work at a job that didn't, honestly. If you could dye your hair any color right now with absolutely no restrictions, what color would you dye it? Maybe like a galaxy-esque mixture of layered colors. I've wanted that for YEARS. Have you ever known a white supremacist? This region is swimming in them. Have you ever spoken to a detective before? No. Do ladders scare you? Climbing them does, yes. Do you have any tattoos on your arms? Yeah. Have you ever thrown up on anybody? Unless I did unknowingly as a baby, no. How many people have you turned down when they asked you out? Uhhh two or three, maybe? What is your favourite kind of fruit cobbler? I actually haven't tried enough to have an educated favorite, but I can say I love peach. Do you hear any other people talking right now? I'm watching a let's player play Sekiro: Shadows Die Twice, so I hear her, obviously. When was the last time you started a new medication? It's been a while, idk. What is your favourite type of nut? Cashews, I guess. I don't really like nuts, but I definitely like cashew bars. Where did you eat the best pizza you’ve ever eaten in your life? ... Domino's lmaoooo. Did you ever watch The Rugrats when you were a kid? Yeah, I loved that show. I even had two video games. Do you know anyone who was adopted? Yes. Can you name all 50 US state capital cities? No. Can you tie balloons? I can't, actually. Have you had a deep conversation with anyone today? Yeah. I wanted Sara's advice on something I'm dealing with. On your Facebook friends list, who was the last person to have their b-day? One of my sisters' was yesterday, actually. What did you/are you having for dinner tonight? I had Special K cereal. Name some healthy foods that you enjoy eating. Strawberries, apples, bananas, (sometimes) broccoli, other things that aren't coming to me. Who was the last person you Facebook messaged? My friend Girt. What flavor was the last cupcake you ate? The cupcake itself was chocolate, and the icing was uhhhh... blue? Apart from sleeping, what do you plan to do tonight? I haven't done anything of note. I'm probably going to bed soon. What’s the age difference between your parents? Two years, I think. When was the last time you ate an apple? Today. I have been on a big sliced apples w/ peanut butter kick lately. Have you had any caffeinated beverages today? I have soda every day. :x Have you eaten any chocolate today? What kind? Mom brought me a Reese's home today when she went out with a friend. How many different towns/cities have you lived in? Three. Have you ever written a song or poem for someone special? Poems, yes. Are you attracted to the last person you Facebook messaged? Not very much physically. Emotionally... I don't know. Do you have any ice cream in your freezer? What flavor is it? No. Ice cream is my #1 comfort food, so that's a big "keep out of the house."

[agentkikirogers]

Part eight. I'm finishing concluded/cancelled shows before I start new ones. As you know I watch a lot. A lot a lot. Anyway. Here's the eighth batch. Shows since January 2020: 55. I think since I only have 3 concluded shows to finish and 10 to catch up with, I'll start new shows now. FINALLY.

Beyond. It was cancelled after two seasons. It's about a guy who wakes up from a coma after a decade and discovers that he has supernatural abilities. It's not a bad show. The acting could be better. The whole overall plot is interesting but I wish they executed it better. It’s on Hulu.

Nos4u2. Sadly cancelled but in a way I find that the ending isn’t exactly a HUGE cliffhanger. However, I wish I would’ve seen how season three would’ve been like. Zachary Quinto was made for the Charlie Manx role. It's based on a novel by Joe Hill, which I haven't read. It’s about a young woman named Vic who has the ability to find lost things. She runs into Charlie Manx who is a evil, immortal vampire. Manx kidnaps the kids with promises and feeds off the souls of children. He takes them and places them in area named Christmasland. Vic attempts to save the kids while trying to defeat Manx. The main character (Vic) is played by Ashleigh Cummings who I thought was a good choice and the chemistry between her and Quinto fit well. It’s on Hulu.

The Gifted. Cancelled. I’m going to be honest. I gave up after the second episode and it took me a long time to get back to watching it and SADLY I actually enjoyed this series. I wish they had a season three at least. Stephen Moyer, plays a father who specializes in prosecuting mutant-related felons and finds out that both of his kids are mutants. His wife is played the lovely Amy Acker. I loved learning about more Marvel characters that I’ve never heard of or knew much about. I say this show is worth it.

Channel Zero. Unfortunately cancelled. It's a syfy horror anthology series. It's based on creepypasta online horror stories. Every season is a different story, so it’s not connected like AHS tries to say it is. Season 1 is about a child psychologist who returns to his hometown to see if his brother's disappearance is related to childhood tv series they used to watch together. There’s a person made out of teeth too (which actually unnerved me). Season 2 is about a group of friends who visit a house (a mysterious art installation/haunted house). Season 3 is a story about two sisters who move to a new town and discover strange staircases in the town's park. Plus cannibals are in the story. Season 4 involves a couple who discover a mysterious door that is in their basement. There's a contortionist clown in this one. The whole series is worth watching if you like stuff like that.

The 100. Overall the series is great. I’m still bitter about the last season and finale but what can I do? It’s about 100 kids who are sent to Earth, after a nuclear apocalypse happened over 90 years ago. They are sent to see if Earth is finally inhabitable and find out that some humans never left. I enjoy the casting. There’s a lot of suspense, drama and angst. Some seasons were stronger than others. The plot seemed to veer off from time to time. It's a great science fiction series. I love the effects, the imagery. I just had issues with them killing characters I loved. It was senseless in my opinion. It's on Netflix. .

Room 104. A real shame it was cancelled. It's an anthology series set in a regular motel room (Room 104). The stories range from horror, drama, angst, comedy, romance, eras, characters (awesome guest stars) etc. I couldn't recommend it enough. Some episodes fail and some are just marvelous. It’s on HBO.

Deadly Class. A real shame it was cancelled. It is based on a graphic novel. A teenage boy is recruited into a secret academy for the deadly arts. There's alot of deaths, blood, fights, drama, angst. I love that they used the graphic novel visual to tell multiple character's backstories. Unfortunately there is no season two and it landed on a cliffhanger. I still enjoyed it and liked reading more about the characters (and their gangs) online. It had alot of potential.

[dreamingofscully]

MOMENTUM - CHAPTER 1

(READ CHAPTER 2)

Rating: Mature (ch 1), Explicit (ch 2) Length: ~12k words Classification: M/S RST, Angst, Post-Ep for En Ami and spoilers through Chimera and all things Summary: Scully’s choices lead to some unintended consequences for herself and her relationship with Mulder.

Thank you to my betas! @sarie-fairy​​ @scullyeffect​​ and @o6666666​​ for the machete betas and @suitablyaggrieved​​ @starbuckthirteen​​ and @unhappybrthday​​ for the feedback. Definitely could not have done it without you.

Tagging @today-in-fic and @kega-umi.

(Read on AO3)

*** FRIDAY SPENDER’S FORMER OFFICE

“He knows what that science is worth, how powerful it is....He'd let nothing stand in his way.”  - Mulder

“You may be right... but for a moment, I saw something else in him. A longing for something more than power. Maybe for something he could never have.” - Scully

Scully wishes she could claim possession, body-snatching or any sort of ridiculous idea besides the one that she simply did something stupid. Mulder stands in front of her, arms braced on the doorway, waiting for a reasonable explanation. Why did she believe Spender? Why is she trying to paint him in a more sympathetic light? She thought she was doing the right thing at the time, but looking back she can’t believe she was so foolish. The silence stretches between them, his eyes filling with disappointment as he turns and walks away, leaving her standing in the empty room. 

Looking for some tangible proof of Spender’s presence, she scans the room one last time. Wonders why she’s even bothering since proof won’t give her the answers she needs. All of their experiences with him showed that he was nothing more than a liar, manipulating people for his own personal gain and twisted pleasure. Scully’s smart but she’s never been good at deception. Why did she think she could out-wit the man whose entire life was built on lies? Finding nothing in the room to ease her conscience, she reluctantly follows Mulder to his car. 

The last time she could remember this amount of tension between them was when Scully had voiced her suspicions to Mulder about Diana. They never talked about the hurt they’d caused one another back then, but that was their usual M.O. - never speaking about what mattered. Getting back to the X-Files, the foundation of their partnership, repaired the damage they'd inflicted upon one another. Shortly afterwards, they took the next monumental step in their relationship, finally admitting the feelings they had for one another and becoming lovers. It made the issues they argued about seem unimportant, at the time.

Mulder drives her home without even sparing her a glance. His inattention is glaringly unfamiliar. A few times, Scully opens her mouth to say something but changes her mind, each justification sounding inadequate. She’s utterly disappointed in herself. 

Finally, he pulls up outside her door, leaving the motor running. Needing to say something before leaving she undoes her seatbelt and turns to face him.

“Mulder--”

“Not now, Scully. Just get out.” He doesn't meet her gaze. There’s tension in his shoulders, barely concealed rage simmering just under the surface.

Not moving, she steels herself for his anger. She still has some hope of reasoning with him but before she can say anything else, Mulder turns to look at her. Instead of fury, she sees pain and vulnerability and her heart clenches in her chest. He thinks she betrayed him and from the outside that’s exactly what it looks like, exactly what Spender intended. Was that another motive - to put a wedge between them? 

Suddenly he’s left the car and is walking around to her side. He wrenches open her door and waits impatiently for her to get out. As she exits the car and reaches for him, he avoids her touch and goes back to the driver's side like he’d drive away whether she shut the door or not.

“Mulder, I was wrong to go with Spender but I think that might be what he intended all along, to make you doubt me. Call me when you’re ready to talk. Just know I’m sorry, and I love you.”

Scully waits, hoping he'll turn towards her and acknowledge her words. 

“Shut the door.” He doesn’t spare her a glance.

When she closes the door between them, his car peels out of the parking lot, leaving Scully at the curb to watch Mulder drive out of sight. She doesn’t remember the walk to her apartment, her head filled with fury and regret.

*** MONDAY FBI HEADQUARTERS

Scully walks down the hallway to their office, her heels clicking in an urgent, staccato rhythm, mimicking her fluttering heartbeat. He hadn’t called over the weekend, and despite not knowing his state of mind, she’s eager to see him. While they don’t spend every day together, it was rare a day went by that they didn’t at least speak on the phone, talking about anything and nothing. She misses their connection in a way that makes her feel weak and unsure, a foreign and unwelcome sensation. Taking a deep breath, she brushes her sweaty hands on her skirt and prepares a hopefully normal-looking smile on her face as she opens the door. 

Instead of a brooding, grumpy partner, she finds an empty office.

There’s no note on either of their desks. She double checks the door for a message - nothing. Concerned, she boots up her computer and scans her email. Nothing. Her cell phone is charged and there were no messages on her answering machine, she triple-checked before she left that morning.

Even though her instincts scream at her that he might have gone and done something impulsive and stupid, Scully takes a few deep breaths and forces herself to trust him. Calling him will only piss him off even more if, as she suspects, he’s only trying to avoid her a little while longer. He’ll be here. She’ll give him thirty minutes.

The time seems to pass interminably. She’s constantly checking the clock and reopening her email. Wondering if the computer system is down, she’s about to call tech support when the new email icon pops up on her desktop. Her heart leaps in her chest and she’s irrationally angry when it’s not him. She tries to work away at the long list of things she means to do but never has the time for but her eyes keep wandering to the clock. The reports on her desk remain unopened.

Twenty-five minutes. That’s close enough. She calls his home, but he must have turned off his answering machine. And he doesn’t answer his cell. 

Panic sets in.

Not knowing what else to do, Scully dials the number for Skinner’s office, chewing on her lip while she waits to be connected.

“What is it, Agent Scully?” His irritation makes her more nervous than usual, reminding her of the many, many times Mulder did something to annoy him.

“Sir? I, um, wondered if you had any idea of Mulder’s whereabouts?”

Silence for a few beats.

“He’s in St. Louis, helping with a profile. Left yesterday night. You’re unaware of this, Agent Scully? I thought you went with him.”

Scully massages her forehead, suppressing a sigh. “No, I... um... had stuff to do here. He must have forgotten to let me know. Sorry for bothering you, sir.” 

Scully tries Mulder’s cell again but it disconnects after one ring. So, that’s how it's going to be. Annoyance begins to creep up at his avoidance, but she tamps it down. She’s more worried about the toll that profiling will take on him. Since she’s not his favorite person right now, she fears her presence would only distract him, making the process take longer rather than providing any help. If they needed a pathologist, Mulder knew where she was.

Straightening her back, Scully forces herself to concentrate and get back to work. It’ll be a long few days alone in their basement office, but perhaps she can take advantage of his absence and catch up on reports and paperwork. Calmed by the practicality of her thoughts, she dives into the neatly stacked piles of work on her desk, determined to put her emotions aside until she’s able to talk to Mulder about it. 

*** FRIDAY

The rest of the week passes incredibly slowly without Mulder there to keep her company. When Scully tries to find out any information on his profiling case, thinking she could help from a distance or find an excuse to join him out there, she’s rebuffed. She almost takes the rejection personally but dismisses the irrational thoughts - not everything is about her. 

The anger she feels towards Spender grows with each day of Mulder’s absence, each day he refuses her call. She knows that this entire charade was intended to not only help Spender acquire something dangerous but to create doubt in her partner’s head about her. Once he gets back, she’s sure things will be fine, but the work doesn’t hold her interest without him there to distract her from it.

Speaking of distractions... Scully reaches for the office phone and hits redial, reaches Mulder’s voicemail.

“Mulder, it’s me. I’m not going to apologize again, you’ve already heard all that. I still can’t give you a good explanation. Just… I guess I just saw an opportunity for something and decided to take a leap. I know it wasn’t the best time to do that but, there you have it. Call me. Please. I’m worried about you out there.”

Scully hangs up the phone, taps on the receiver. She hates not knowing, hates not being about to do something. Needing to do something, she picks up the phone and dials Skinner’s extension. 

A few perfunctory minutes of updates to him on her progress in the office over the past week and Scully gets to the real reason for her call. 

“Sir, I was hoping for an update on Mulder’s case in St. Louis?” She tries to sound casual and unconcerned.

In the momentary silence on the other end of the receiver, she imagines Skinner’s brows knitting together. She swears under her breath, sure he would find it unusual that she was asking him, rather than speaking to Mulder directly.

“Uh... I just spoke to Agent Mulder. He’s due back tomorrow.” A pause. “Is everything okay, Agent Scully? Is there a reason you haven’t spoken with him yourself?”

“No, not at all. I-- um...that’s all I needed from you. Goodbye, sir.” 

Tomorrow, then. Scully smiles softly, nodding to herself. He’ll be home and she can help him with whatever consequences arose from the case in St. Louis, relieved she can finally take action.

*** SATURDAY MULDER’S APARTMENT

The rumbling of thunder and flashes of lightning accompany Scully as she strides down the hallway to Mulder’s apartment, shaking droplets of water from her raincoat. The fading light bulbs and sparse indigo light from the window at the end of the hall paint everything in shadowy illumination reminiscent of evening, though it's midafternoon. She knocks on his door, biting her lower lip. Strangely nervous about seeing him after so long.

She hears the lock opening and suddenly he’s in front of her. He hasn’t opened the door completely but the few inches of Mulder that she sees causes her to smile foolishly. 

Oh, how I missed him. 

“Hey,” she says. Her delight spills out before she notices his appearance. He looks like he’s been to hell and back - he hasn’t shaved in at least a week and there's dark circles under his bloodshot eyes. 

“Oh, Mulder…” 

Scully reaches for him, but before she can get close he flinches and pulls away from her, still holding the door partially closed and blocking her entrance. She’s dismayed at his reaction but tells herself it’s not about her.

“Now isn’t a good time.” His voice is strained. “What are you doing here?”

“It’s been a week… I thought we could get dinner and… talk?” At his blank stare, she continues. “Are you ok?” She places a hand on the doorframe and checks him over more closely.  

“I don’t think you being here is a good idea,” he says, his gaze hardening under her inspection. 

Confused at his rejection, Scully takes a deep breath, trying to think of something to say to bridge the gap between them.

“Is this about Spender?”

Mulder’s eyes suddenly flare with unbridled fury. His jaw clenches and his grip on the door tightens. Scully’s not sure what’s worse, the intense anger or the emotionlessness. He stares past her into the hallway. 

“Why on earth would you bring him up, Scully?” He asks this quietly, but she feels the force of his anger with every syllable. 

“Mulder, I didn’t mean--”

"What didn't you mean?" Mulder interrupts, yanking the door open and leaning closer but further blocking her entrance. His entire body rigid. "To take off with a man who's lied and worked against us for years? Who gave you your disease, who took so many things from the both of us?”

"I told you why I went, what he told me." The reason sounds feeble as soon as she voices it, unprepared to defend herself. She’d come to support him in the aftermath of profiling a horrific case, only he seems more upset over her actions from a week ago. .

Mulder’s eyes flash at her again. "And look what it got you. Nothing. Less than nothing. I was so worried about you.” 

The care she tried to take when she left with Spender ended up being completely worthless. Of course Mulder worried about her. What he must have thought? 

He continues, hands gripping the doorframe. “He could have done anything he wanted and you played right into his hands. And I still don't understand. You've always been the one telling me not to trust others, then you take off with the worst sonofabitch--"

Sheets of rain pound against the window, and dangerous crashes of thunder punctuate Mulder’s furious words, cutting off the last part of his sentence. Scully tries to hold his gaze, to tell him with her eyes what she can’t seem to express with her words. She can’t stand how he’s looking at her any longer and glances out the window at the storm. 

Flashes of light illuminate the hallway as she turns back. Long shadows drape Mulder in half-light. His face is both dark and light at once and while she desperately tries to focus her thoughts into coherence, he’s sinking back into his darkened apartment.

"Mulder, I tried..." The rest of her words shrivel under the weight of her mistake. She didn’t need to repeat herself and he didn’t seem to want to accept, let alone believe, her motivations the first time. A week apart didn’t lessen his anger. Her chest tightens. "I don't know what else to say."

"I don't think I really know you." Mulder’s voice breaks, sharpness replaced by vulnerability.

The statement breaks her heart. She knows how much trust means to him, that for years now she’s been the only one he can count on, who never tried to manipulate him. She's always been his exception. He trusted her implicitly because she’s never had an agenda. Have her actions forced him to doubt her? 

He has no one else. Of course he would react this way. 

She composes herself before speaking again, feeling like she’s traveled back in time, needing to convince him that he could trust her again.

"You do know me. It was a mistake. A terrible mistake, but that's all it was. It's me." She longs to reach out and grab his hand to emphasize her point, but his earlier reaction makes her hesitant.

Mulder’s eyes close and his shoulders slump, weariness and defeat written on every inch of his frame. He inches the door shut, withdrawing from her completely. 

"Mulder, please…" She’s desperate but has no idea how to reach him, convince him her intentions were pure. It’s like the idea of her betrayal has buried itself so deeply within him there’s nothing she can do to convince him otherwise. 

“No. I can’t do this right now.” He pulls away, shutting the door firmly between them.

She hadn’t expected this. Needing some sort of connection no matter how tenuous, she reaches out and lays her hand on the door, the smooth wood-grain surface under her palm an ineffectual replacement. She stands there for longer than she should, her breath shallow, emotions swirling within her. 

A boom of thunder shocks her out of her bleak thoughts, forcing her hand from his door and her steps towards the elevator. She doesn’t think she’s ever seen him this mad at her for so long. She manages to get to her car and drive home, heedless of the rain soaking her to the skin.

*** MONDAY, THE FOLLOWING WEEK FBI HEADQUARTERS

Worried when Mulder’s late for work on Monday, Scully wonders if she’ll have a repeat of last week. When he shows up she’s relieved, despite his rumpled suit and tired eyes. Mulder is distant but at least they’re speaking to one another, giving Scully hope that they can fix whatever happened between them. 

They work separately on old case reports and Scully tries to take comfort in the routine. However, Mulder’s dark mood is a thick fog between them, making their progress feel sluggish and their attempts at communication heavy and awkward. She wishes she could give him some measure of solace, comb her fingers through his hair, hold him at night until he falls into an easy slumber. Guilt cuts through her concern, presses heavily on her chest. It was her own actions that placed her here, preventing her from being able to give him comfort.

Regardless, he's talking to her, which she takes as a step in the right direction.

The week passes and Scully’s optimism dwindles. She almost forgets about their estrangement until he shies away from her touch, doesn’t meet her gaze, and refuses to banter or joke and she's struck by the remoteness of his presence. It’s like she's been reduced to a tolerable acquaintance rather than his closest friend and lover. 

They’ve never been good at talking about personal things. Scully could probably recount on one hand the rare times they spoke openly about their relationship or feelings with one another. How can she start a conversation with him about when it’s just not something that they do?

Thoughts of her sister emerge more frequently. Scully misses her acutely, the pain of her death like a fresh wound. Was it this hard all those years ago? Missy was so good at knowing what to do when it came to people. Instead of speculating about what her sister would say, Scully embraces her strengths and gets back to work, what brought her and Mulder together in the first place. She takes some comfort in simply having him nearby, witnessing the brilliance of his mind. If they’ve taken a step back in their relationship, she can’t deny that she wouldn’t trade her partner for any other.

*** FRIDAY FBI HEADQUARTERS

“There’s been some tension between my partner and I this past week and I can’t figure out how to get past it. Or if we even can.” Scully chews on her bottom lip, finding it difficult to voice her concerns aloud.

Karen Kosseff, the FBI counselor she’s talked to off and on over the years, sits across from her in her small office. She’s silent, calmly waiting for her to continue.

Scully clears her throat. “I made a mistake, a pretty serious one, that might have made him question my loyalty.”

“Were you disloyal to him?”

“No, never." Scully answers immediately. “I did something reckless, something that made him worry about me. But now he’s just upset, won’t talk.”

“You’ve been partnered with Agent Mulder for…” Karen consults the file in front of her. “Seven years now? That’s quite a long time to be paired with someone. But you feel this is different than the usual ups and downs one would expect in such a long-term relationship?” 

“Before--” She interrupts herself before accidentally revealing too much. “We’ve had arguments before, but never anything that prevented us from continuing our work normally. Even if we don’t talk about it, we generally push on like nothing’s happened.”

“And do you think that’s an effective way to communicate?”

“Probably not.” Her mouth turns up in a self-deprecating smile. She’s always been comfortable with not talking, not revealing her innermost thoughts. It was always easier to keep things hidden, but she knows deep down that it’s always led to trouble. “But anything would be better than what’s going on now.”

“From our past meetings and from reading your file I can see you two have weathered a lot in the years you’ve been together. That can take a serious toll on anyone.” Karen’s compassionate voice always seems to seep through her walls. She forgets each time how easy it is to open up when she’s here.

“I know this. And I think maybe what we’re going through now might be a continuation of things we’ve been through. I just wish I knew what to do.” Scully’s voice cracks, she feels tears threatening. Bowing her head as she closes her eyes, she tries to remain in control for long enough to say everything she needs to.

“Is there something else bothering you?”

Scully whips her head up to look at Karen. How does she do that? “I, um… I can’t talk to him about this--” 

Karen tilts her head, waits.

“Something happened to me, when I… made my mistake. I don’t really know what. I’m scared to find out. But if I told him--” Scully breaks off to press a hand to her mouth, feeling hot tears spill out over her cheeks, but she forces herself to continue. “It would make what I did so much worse.”

Scully has tried not to think about what Spender did to her while she was unconscious. It was easier to be angry with Spender about the disc and his lies, to be concerned with Mulder’s feelings and how she could help him. 

Karen doesn’t speak for several minutes, offering Scully a box of tissues. Her voice is concerned when she breaks their silence. “What are you scared of, Dana?”

“Of the possibilities. Of the consequences of them. Maybe I’ve made more than one mistake. This is just the last one in a series, and I can’t go back to how it was before--”

Karen raises her eyebrows at her pause.

It was so difficult to separate herself from their new relationship, maybe that was one of the problems. Taking a deep breath, and changing the direction she’d been heading. “I think I always prided myself on acting as Mulder’s ballast, the person who grounds him. I feel like I’ve failed in that regard, and I think he sees it that way too. Maybe that’s what is most upsetting, not what I did but how outside of myself the mistake was.”

“Do you feel like he holds you to unreasonable standards?”

“I don’t think so.” Crumpling the tissue in her hands, breaking it off into little pieces, Scully sighs before continuing. “I think if I give him time, things will work out. Sometimes we take a while to get moving, so to speak.”

***

It’s not usually until much later that Scully feels better after a session with Karen. Uncomfortable truths come to the surface, harmful things she realizes she’s been doing and needs to change. Knowing and doing, though, are two entirely different things. Even if she knew how to get him to speak with her, she doesn’t know if she has the strength to open up to him, to tell him everything. 

Instead of worrying about what to do with Mulder, Scully dives into work with an obsessive meticulousness. Not only does she work on finishing case reports, she consults with other agents outside the X-Files on their cases and starts research on a new paper about a case from a few months back. Outside of work, she starts a new training regimen, hoping she’ll be marathon-ready if the opportunity ever arises. The addition of all of these activities leaves her exhausted at the end of each day, falling into a restless sleep late at night and waking just in time to start the next morning. 

Sometimes the flurry of her day isn’t enough to keep her mind from wandering before unconsciousness takes her. These nights are the hardest. Despite spending most of the day with Mulder, and even though they didn’t spend every night with each other before their falling-out, she’s lonely. When she misses the warmth and solidity of his body around hers, she’ll find momentary release from her recently retired vibrator. Pretending he's here, that he's touching her, that things are back to normal. After her orgasm she feels the emptiness of her bed even more acutely - it’s not his body or her pleasure that she misses most, but the intimacy of his presence.

Scully’s mood shifts after a few weeks of her busier schedule. She’s easily angered and it’s increasingly difficult to hide her emotions. The incessant cracking of Mulder’s sunflower seeds grates on her nerves and she finds herself leaving the office more frequently as well, refusing to take out her anger at its intended target. Skinner and the rest of the agents in the building avoid her whenever they hear the tell-tale sound of her strident heels in the halls. 

***

It’s been just over three weeks since Mulder’s return from St. Louis and four weeks since they’ve had a friendly conversation. Scully finds herself in the office alone, reviewing a forensics report for a fellow agent, a favor she’s been meaning to return. Mulder’s jacket sits on the back of his chair, empty seed shells littering the desk and the floor around it. He’s off doing God knows what and she doesn’t bother asking where he’s going anymore, since he only responds to her questions with single-syllable grunts. She’s irritated at Mulder’s presumption of her availability, and his continued neglect of their relationship. What relationship?

When the phone rings, she considers not answering. She’s uncomfortable with negligence of duty, no matter how small, compelling her to pick up after a respectable three rings. 

“What?”

“Er, Agent Scully, I was hoping to discuss the case reports you and Agent Mulder just turned in.” 

Scully bites the inside of her cheek and closes her eyes, attempting to keep her annoyance at bay. With the extra time she and Mulder seem to have nowadays, the reports are some of the most comprehensive ones they’ve ever turned in. She feels like this conversation is a giant waste of time, but Skinner’s her boss, so she suffers through his questions.

Scully hangs up the phone as Mulder enters their office reading a file, not acknowledging her presence. She studiously ignores his silence and goes back to her report.

Almost  an hour later, Scully looks up from her reading, surprised to find that so much time has passed. When she looks over at Mulder, she meets his gaze and blinks in surprise.

“Do you need something, Mulder?” Scully raises her eyebrows and feels her mouth start to twitch upwards in a smile. Warmth floods her chest at his unexpected attention.

Mulder shakes his head and reaches for a report, opening it and ignoring her.

Her anger spills out, and she doesn’t hold it back this time. “When are you going to stop punishing me?” 

“Once I feel you can be trusted to not run off with the next guy who promises you something.”

Scully’s eyebrows knit together and her mouth drops open in shock. Before she can respond, Mulder grabs his jacket and leaves without another word. Her hand rises to her mouth and she closes her eyes, feeling the force of his words like a punch to the gut.

He won’t even speak to me about what’s bothering him, yet feels the need to make condescending remarks? 

She stares at the office door, wishing he’d return so she could tell him where he could shove his idiotic petulance.

When he doesn’t come back, Scully finds it difficult to concentrate. She leaves early and heads to the gym for a punishing training session before heading home. Rewarding herself with a few glasses of wine and a decidedly non-romantic movie, she manages to sink into a dreamless sleep.

The next morning, Scully’s running late, dreading another confrontation but knowing she should say something. Mulder’s sitting at his desk with coffee for the both of them.

“I’m sorry for what I said yesterday, Scully.” 

She’s surprised at first, stares at him. He’s avoiding her gaze, buried in a report. As she waits for him to continue, he turns his chair around and sorts through some files behind his desk.

That’s it?

After he left the office yesterday, she was determined to finally speak frankly but after his weak apology she’s reluctant to cause another argument. 

A night of stewing in her anger left her emotionally drained and pessimistic about being able to work things out with him. Every time she tries to talk, her mouth goes dry and a weight presses heavily on her chest. 

Why is it so difficult to know what to say? 

Frustrated at her inability to express herself, she resumes work without another word. They exist in the same office, worlds apart.

*** WEDNESDAY, THE FOLLOWING WEEK ABANDONED WAREHOUSE SOUTHEAST WASHINGTON, DC

“Well, good work, Scully. I'll call you back later.” - Mulder

Scully rolls her shoulders and stands, irritated at his abrupt goodbye. The conclusion of the case re-energized her but now she feels exhaustion creeping back. Despite her tiredness, she can’t help thinking about Mulder and this damn surveillance. She feels abandoned. While she’s left to pursue something not even worth their time, he scampers off to investigate a real X-File on his own. Maybe he realizes he doesn’t actually need her after all.

They’d become automatons. Mulder doesn’t talk to her about any new cases, they just work on tying loose ends and finishing reports. She wonders if he disappears on weekends to investigate things on his own instead of calling and pestering her to join him. She regrets her feigned annoyance back then, that she never really told him how much their time together meant to her. 

Her shoulder twinges, sore from sitting too long. A tumultuous combination of anger and dread builds within her. Aside from the time she went to his apartment, or the time he told her off, he won’t talk about what happened and as the days pass it gets harder for her to confront him about it. She doesn’t know how to fix their relationship if he won’t even acknowledge its presence. It’s bewildering that he can give up on them so easily - all the things they’ve done for each other over the years and he can just cast her off? Maybe she had everything wrong from the beginning, that the intensity of her feelings for him have always been one-sided.

At home, Scully peels off her clothes and stands under the lash of a hot shower until her skin is pink and raw. Unbidden, the tears start to flow, merging with the sluice of water flowing over her body. She was so preoccupied with her rage that this new emotion takes her by surprise. She only notices it once the sobs cause her to double over as she struggles to contain them. 

The combination of steam and grief starts to make her feel dizzy. Stumbling out of the stall, she sits heavily on the floor, grabbing her towel and wrapping it around herself.

She doesn’t notice the cold air causing her to shiver violently. She’s oblivious to her wet hair plastered to her head and neck, thick droplets cascading to the floor and pooling underneath her, making a wet mess on the cold tiles. 

Her awareness consists only of the overwhelming grief and painful pressure of her hands pressing against her eyes in a futile attempt to stop the emotions overtaking her.

All this time… the idea that their relationship had meant nothing to him, even after everything he’s said and done. The hold he’s had over her for years, thinking that it was only a matter of time. Never that it would come to an end almost before it even began. All her fears and vulnerabilities she’s bottled up these past few weeks spill over, shaking her to her core. She recalls the nagging but easily-ignored feelings that their happiness couldn’t last. Those minor twinges and paranoid notions suddenly seem so undeniably monstrous and real.

She’s not sure how long she sits crumpled there on the floor. Her ass is numb and she’s shaking uncontrollably with the cold by the time she comes back to herself. She’s stiff from the awkward position she’s been sitting in and the tension of her emotional outburst. Drying herself off and slipping into warm flannel pajamas, she heads to her darkened bedroom. Her head hits the pillow and she envelopes herself underneath her quilt, her grief waning into bruising emptiness as she falls into an exhausted slumber.

***

Hours later, Mulder comes to her apartment and lets himself in, pausing at the doorway before heading to her bedroom. He stands at the end of the bed and stares at her sleeping form for several minutes, a bleak expression on his face. He moves closer, carefully tucking the blanket around her, brushing a trembling hand over her curling hair, gently kissing the patch of skin peeking out from the collar of her pajamas. Leaning towards her, he studies her sleeping form  for a few more minutes before leaving, regret and an awakened determination in his eyes.

END CHAPTER 1 ------- (READ CHAPTER 2)

[detectivedreameater]

There’s Still Work To Do|| Winston and Marley

TIMING: Current PARTIES: @danetobelieve and @detectivedreameater SUMMARY: Marley needs Winston’s help to foster a lead on Roy’s operation. Neither of them can stand by after Roland’s sacrifice. CONTENT: Death mention, mass poisoning mention

Keeping oneself occupied was always a good way to ignore emotions. Marley had read that in a psychology book in high school and had also read that it was a common coping technique. At the time, she’d rolled her eyes about it, but now, without even thinking anything of it, she found herself doing just that. Too much had happened recently and she needed to concentrate and focus on the more important things-- taking down Roy and killing Tommy. But while both of those were out of the question at the moment, she had turned her eye to something else. It was technically Agatha’s case, but everyone was sharing information gathered about the poisoning at Pat’s Place. There was a name in the file that Marley had recognized-- as well as a face. Two of the four men her and Felix had taken down were in this file. What they had to do with the poisoning, she wasn’t sure, but she knew someone who could help her figure it out. All she needed to do was track their cell signals and trace their routes that night. And so, she found herself headed to Winston’s desk, back in the corner “IT” room, knocking softly. “Hey,” she said, standing in the doorway, “I’ve got a thing I need your help with.” She lowered her voice a bit, glancing over her shoulder. “It’s a Roy thing,” she said in a lowered tone.

 Winston couldn’t sit still. Physically, mentally, emotionally. Whatever you wanted to call it. Didn’t matter. They had to keep busy, because when they let their mind stop churning and when they let everything stop whirring that was when all of the emotions threatened to come crashing in. So they worked longer and harder then they had before. Working through cold cases and their own projects. They avoided going home. Trying not to have to talk to Rio too much just in case he realised what the problem was. But they couldn’t get Roland’s face out of their head. They couldn’t get Roland’s last words out and they were re-reading them for the millionth time when Marley knocked on the doorway. “Of course, come in and shut the door.” Winston turned to their laptop and tapped a few buttons that set up a nice little buzz of interference incase they were bugged (Roy must be bugging everything right?) and then murmured a quick enchantment that would soundproof the room to some degree. They were still working on the code to get this to happen automatically but it wasn’t exactly something that you could just rush, unfortunately. “What do you need and I’ll make it happen?” Anything to get back at that bastard. Anything to make sure that Roland hadn’t died for no reason. 

 Marley stepped inside and could instantly feel the strain coming from Winston. They weren’t exactly good at hiding their emotions, at least not in the capacity of their body language. But she opted to ignore it, for now. If they wanted to talk, they would, and she was sure they’d never want to talk to someone like her about that stuff, anyway. She set the file down next to them and pointed at the two men she recognized. “I’ve seen these two around, and I know they work for Roy. I’m hoping tracing where their cells were the day of the attack can help give us a lead or something. Obviously I can’t just say this to Keen, so I need a way for this lead to crop up so we can follow it, too.” Hopefully this would keep them busy enough for the moment, help provide some distraction. She knew it was distracting her enough, and if she could get her hands around another man’s throat to crush in vengeance for Sarge, it would just be a treat on top of everything else. “Think you can help with that?”

 With something to do, something to keep them busy, Winston was suddenly a little less glum. It was a temporary thing, of that much they were very aware. But they knew that they would be able to at least look into this and see if they could help Marley get back at Roy, even if it was in the smallest of ways, but that was something right? It had to be something because they were done wasting time. Wasting time had let Roland get killed and Winston couldn’t live with that again. “Okay, if you’ve got their information then tracing them shouldn’t be hard, the GPS towers in White Crest ping really regularly and keeping up with everything is not a huge problem. I can come up with a way to let this lead crop up so you can follow it up without it seeming … strange or out of character. Nothing to give Detective Keen the proverbial.” Winston was glad for the distraction. They were glad for anything to keep them busy and in their own way this was Marley keeping them safe and busy. “I can definitely help with it, I can probably help with it right now. It shouldn’t take me too long.” Winston glanced up at Marley and shrugged, before setting to work, tapping away on their keyboard. 

 “Perfect,” Marley answered, looking down at them with as much of a confident glance as she could muster. It wasn’t much of one, with the bandages still on her face and the pain of moving it still present-- but she tried for one, anyway, because it seemed like the kid could really use a confidence boost. “What would we do here without you?” she teased, standing up and folding her arms. “Yeah, I’ve got their numbers. Here,” she pulled her own phone out, clicking through a few things before setting it down in front of them. The note tab opened on it was labeled “Bookshop- Felicity” and below it were three phone numbers, labeled “Amy”, “Karen” and “Cameron”. “The first two are our guys,” she pointed out.

 The confidence in Marley’s eyes helped a little bit. Winston had taken their co-workers for granted before. That was a mistake that they were determined to never make again. It wasn’t worth making that mistake again. You never know when you might lose them. There were so many good people that they got to work with. Marley. Jane. Agatha. Cece. Kaden. Regan. Each had their own specific gifts to give and Winston would never forget them. “I’m sure that they’d find someone else that was equally useful to overwork and underpay,” Winston couldn't’ help the jokes, it distracted people away from asking how they were doing. A question that they could only answer with ‘fine’ or ‘I’m doing okay’ or ‘you know it’s just how it goes’. Winston quickly typed the numbers into their computer and began running a track and trace program which got no results straight away. Unsurprising. “So normal and conventional means haven’t worked, but I can do some … magic to work it out. But you know, you’ve got to pretend that I didn’t do magic to do this because I can’t have Captain Maynard finding out about me or really the supernatural, that’s something I do not want to explain.” 

 Marley chuckled. She shook her head and reached out to pat Winston on the shoulder. “Oh, kiddo,” she said, leaning over to watch the screen a bit closer, “I’ve been lying about magic since before you were born.” She paused. “Probably.” Admittedly, she didn’t know Winston’s age, but it was still funny to say. She moved around to lean against the desk next to them, crossing her arms over her chest again. “Work your magic, then,” she instructed, eager to watch. Magic was one thing she didn’t know too much about, and she’d never really cared for it, either. Her expertise was other supernatural species’, but it never hurt to learn more. “Pun intended.”

 Rolling their eyes, Winston had to admit that there weren’t many people that they would allow to call them kiddo. Marley was perhaps one of two, maybe three outside of their family. But she had saved their life and that gave her the right to call them whatever she wanted. “I’m 24” And Marley couldn’t be older then like 30ish, so what had she been lying about magic since she was a child? Winston somehow doubted that but they weren’t about to say it. What was the point? Grumbling under their breath, Winston pulled the leather wrist brace -- that Miriam had made for them -- off of their hand and held it over the webcam on the computer. Closing their eyes for a second they began the familiar steps of reaching out with their minds eye and feeling the very fabric of the data that they were trying to access surge beneath their very will and they began to work through it, sifting through GPS locations data and dates before they finally found what they were looking for. It was more difficult to move the information into a file but not out of their reach. A month ago perhaps but they had nothing but time to focus and practice now and it wasn’t long before the printers in the corner of the room began to whir and the information printed as a physical copy as well as saving in three separate locations, their work hard drive and two separate backups. Sweat glistening on their forehead, Winston lowered their hand shakily. “The information’s being printed as we speak.”

 Marley leaned back and watched as Winston began to do their thing. All magic was different, and it was fascinating every time observing it. It hardly looked like anything was happening at all, but the printer jumped to life and started whirring and Marley went over to where it was and watched curiously. It was printing GPS locations. Heading back over, she grabbed her phone from in front of them and started typing in the coordinates as they were printed. It was in White Crest. She zoomed in. It was a house, in a neighborhood on Harris Island. Interesting. The satellite map she was able to pull up showed several different cars parked outside, and-- “Here,” she said, heading back over to Winston, “that’s a video camera.” She tapped her phone screen. “Think you can tap into that and let us have a look? I just need one little thing for a tip off to make it seem real. Anything.”

 Magic still drained Winston particularly technomancy. Each time they tapped into it. They were convinced that it was all brand new. Now they were really starting to get a grasp on it. As the GPS pinpointed a specific location. Winston took a long deep breath and wicked the sweat from their brow with the back of their spare hand before wheeling over to another bank of monitors without rising from their chair. Swallowing back exhaustion they grabbed their very cold coffee and swallowed it, grabbing a handful of candy from a half empty packet on their desk before nodding. “Absolutely, I can tap into that.” They set to work, locating the camera and trying to access it in conventional methods. They didn’t try very hard. They didn’t have time for this. Roy was getting away with literal murder, of a police sergeant and here Winston was trying to play fair. Enough was enough. “One sec,” they grunted as they once more raised their palm and the eye on their hand blinked several times before rolling back in on itself and Winston was gazing through a traffic camera. Reaching out with their will, they forced it to turn on a screw that wasn’t built to turn and view the house. It didn’t take long before Winston was able to see various members of what they assumed was Roy’s operation. “I’ve got, three, maybe four targets loading stuff. This camera doesn’t usually have a view point so I assume they think it’s a blind spot. I can get it to take photos and print those photos off to give you more proof, is that going to be enough to go in?” Winston asked, already pretty sure that they knew the answer. They set to work, snapping grainy photos via the CCTV and sending it to the various backups and printing hard copies off for Marley to show Agatha. They could feel their energy gently sapping away as they worked. But it was worth it. Anything for Roland. 

 Whatever mojo they were working, it was doing its job real well. Marley watched the thing in their palm for a moment, curious about where they’d gotten an eyeball in their hand, reminded of the strange cultists they’d run into that had those exact same things. She didn’t care to press right now, not when everything was already tense. She nodded. “That’s absolutely perfect,” she said, already knowing they were doing just that. The printer whirred to life again and she went over to it, plucking them off one by one as they came out. “You’re a fucking godsend, Winston,” she said, turning to look back at them. She didn’t know how to make people feel better, that wasn’t her forte-- hell, she was pretty sure she hadn’t even helped Anita feel better about any of this-- but it was worth a try, right? “And as far as we’re concerned,” she said, coming back over to  them, “you’re irreplaceable around here.” It was quiet for a moment before she tacked on-- “If you tell anyone I said that, I’ll make your life a living nightmare.”

 Drained was an understatement. Winston really needed to spend more time practicing magic. They knew that the likes of Nell, Bea and Luce had been practicing it for a lifetime and that meant that their proverbial magical muscles were always going to be more attuned to this sort of thing then Winston’s and they were all so much stronger in magic then Winston. At least in terms of stamina. “Uh…” had Marley just told Winston that they were irreplaceable? That was unexpected and Winston wasn’t really sure how they were meant to react. “Honestly, I just it because they took Roland and I know I’m acting like I’m fine but I’m not but I won’t tell anyone that you said anything because I would hate to break your tough guy facade but that actually meant so much more to me then you could ever imagine.” Winston took a moment to swallow before the words kept tumbling out of their mouth. “Roland was one of the few people in this station who really seemed to think that I had any potential and I feel like people just don’t get it sometimes but hearing you say that is so....” Winston’s jaw snapped shut for a second and they swallowed three times before continuing. “It means a lot.” Their eyes glistened as they attempted to blink back tears. Now wasn’t the time to cry but even still. “I won’t tell anyone though, please go and ruin Roy’s day before I break down into tears and embarrass us both.” 

 Marley saw the tears and felt suddenly as if she’d done something very wrong. She didn’t know what to do, but then the kid was rambling about Roland and their feelings and how no one believed in them here. Okay, she was going to have to knock a few skulls around here. Discreetly, of course. She didn’t need people thinking she actually cared about Winston or anything, they were just useful and keeping them around was a benefit to everyone. Still… “It’s-- hard. You’re allowed to feel upset by what happened, ki-- Winston.” She glanced around, unfurling her arms a bit. “Just-- take it easy, okay? If you need time off, to yourself-- take it. We’re all grieving, in our own ways.” She paused, the words catching thickly in her throat. Drawing herself in. “Roland wouldn’t have wanted you to work yourself to death over him. Just-- remember that.” She didn’t know what to do next, so she just shuffled the papers she’d collected and headed to the door, pausing a moment. “And if anyone ever says that rude shit to you again, let me know,” she looked away, “I’ll take care of it.” And then she closed the door. She still had work to do.

[expolikestoart]

Fam-ILY au headcanons post!

listen I love them a lot and I want to talk about them even if no one else really cares

Character Designs

Sleepover/Movie Night for the boys

The Picani Family

the Picanis have a day once every week where they all watch a few episodes of Avatar together. tis law.

Emile is genderfluid!! So sometimes they're Patton and Dee's dad, sometimes they're thier mom, sometimes they're their ren. Patton and Dee tend to just call them their dad though, just cause it's easier to explain to the other kids. And it doesn't cause Emile any issues so they don't mind. They were a pronoun braclet a lot. (tbh they're really just happy their kids sees them as a role model.) (He/Him, She/Her, They/Them, depends on the day)

Patton likes to play with his stuffed animals a lot!

his favorite blanket is his weighted blanket

Dee is HoH so the entiree family knows ASL and he wears hearing aids.

Dee's very passionate about octonauts and his favorite episode was the coral reef snake one. (his favorite character is tweak)

Patton and Dee are bio siblings but they're both adopted by Emile. Emile had a partner during the adoption but they broke up a few years later and he(the partner) never offically had any custody.

at the start of the storyline (maybe writing a fic) they just moved and Emile and him broke up.

Emile keeps pictures of them in his wallet and Will talk about them whenever someone asks.

Emile is a children's therapist in this AU, and specifically works with kids who deal with learning disabilities.

The Kingsley Family

When Remy was like. 17 he got in a relationship with this one girl and they did the do. When the twins were born, she left. He hasn't heard from her since.

His family wasn't that supportive except his Great Aunt Becca who's a wonderful woman. She lived with her partner for years until she died a year or two before Remy moved in.

So they all live with her now.

Roman likes to sew little costumes for his stuffed animals. Remy helps.

Roman begged Remy to let him join dance classes. Remy doesn't currently have the money to take so he's saving up to let him.

Remus is in that weird kid phase? You know the one where they're weirdly obsessed with like. Death and witches and shit? He's in that phase.

He also makes "potions" and shit outta stuff in the kitchen. 50% of them are probably poisonous. Remy lets him drink absolutely none of them.

Remy's Bi and proud. He hasn't really dated anyone since he was 17 but. He's open to dating again. But only if his boys like them.

Remy works at a few different places. He's the manager at a coffee shop when the boys are at school and at night when they sleep he works at a gas station. Neither has great pay but he's doing his best.

Roman and Remus have very active imaginations. It has led to them waking up Remy or Becca due to monsters in the closet more than they like.

Disney! And! Pixar! Movie! Nights!

Remy and Aunt Becca have most definitely made scrapbooks of the boys together. (even though Remy might deny it to keep up his tough guy image)

The Cogsworth Family

Brian showed the boys some of Star Wars: The Clone Wars and Logan fell in love with the show immediately. Virgil doesn't like it as much but he likes to see Logan excited so he watches it too.

Virgil freaking Loves Gravity Falls though. He likes to try and find monsters in the apartment complex and nearby park. He swears he heard a hide behind once. (Brian played the sound effect on his phone and placed a speaker in a tree to make him happy)

Logan only likes certain textures with clothes so Brian makes sure that when they go clothes shopping Logan feels them first.

Logan has a prosthetic foot (it doesn't show in the family portrait because his socks and shoes cover it up) ((he also has a barbie doll because her leg was a prosthetic))

Virgil likes to draw a lot, especially monsters and stuff that he sees on tv. It's really cute looking half of the time but sometimes it kinda worries Brian.

Brian is Trans! And Aro/Ace. The kids are his. He had them pre-transition. His family wasn't supportive of him transitioning so he doesn't really talk to them. Has been on T for 5 years. (He/Him)

Brian's a bit of a space nerd so he likes to watch documentaries on them and the kids will often curl up on him and watch too.

Brian's compiter has a metric fuckton of baby photos of the boys!

They go to the park because he tries to keep them as healthy as possible and hopefully his kids will make friends. Both are painfully shy.

He's a security guard/Janitor for Walmart's l a t e shifts.

The Sanders Family

Thomas isn't adopted y e t but god is Anton working on the paper work for that because bitch that's their son now and they love him.

Thomas still is the goofy guy we know, happy, enjoys Disney, likes to sing and stuff.

Since Thomas is old enough to join the school choir he did and he loves it.

Anton and Thomas met the others because Emile was Thomas's therapist and once Anton asked Emile the best thing he could do for their kid and Emile commented on how that they knew it was scary, cause they had the same thoughts when they adopted their kids.

Emile is no longer Thomas's therapist due to him no longer being impartial since that's his kids friend and that's kinda iffy so now their friend is.

Anton is nb and pan-romantic ace. (He/Him, They/Them)

Both of them are kinda chaotic at times and sometimes you can find the two of them trying desperately to bake but there's batter on the ceiling and flour in Anton's hair. (they can't bake but anton can cook so it's okay)

When Thomas gets adopted all the others will be invited to see the signing.

Thomas didn't get to watch most Disney movies while in Foster care so Anton is showing him everything.

He also didn't get to see the Barbie movies so guess what else he's watching because Anton insists.

Anton still has an appreciation for fine arts and has a painting hanging up in his Living room framed and right next to it in just as fancy a frame is a drawing Thomas made. (it's a family portrait that Thomas made with stick figures. When he gave it to Anton, Anton c r i e d.)

Thomas has two friends from before he writes to, Joan and Tayln. He writes them letters every few days. They write back and everytime he gets one he's like!!!!!

Anton's the most well off of anyone in the squad so he tends to give gifts to the others when they find something.

All of them

The Parent Group are all very supportive of their kids interests, and also have meetups while the boys have playdates where the drink they're preferred hot drink (Emile likes Tea, Remy and Anton like Coffee, and Brian likes Apple Cider) and bitch about the shitty PTA moms and work (not emile though he loves his job and has patient confidentiality so... no)

Roman and Logan both love Percy Jackson but in different ways. Logan read all the books. Roman read the comic book adaptions and listened to the Lightning Thief Musical.

Virgil and Patton like to hunt for monsters together in the apartment complex and park but everytime it happens they both get a little scared and run if something actually looks spooky.

When all the kids became friends they had Patton teach them ASL secretly for a couple of months to surprise Dee. They showed Dee and he c r i e d. Happy tears of course but he was so surprised that all of them learned that for him.

Virgil, Dee, Remus, and Roman all have the same Recess break on the little kids playground so they play pretend together a lot. Usually it's Roman and Virgil vs Remus and Dee, but sometimes they switch it up.

Patton, Thomas, and Logan are the Big Kids, but also are kinda the weird kids too so they don't have much friends outside of the group. But it's okay, because they got each other and they like to hang out.

Patton has punched some kids cause they made fun of either his friends or Dee or maybe his Dad. He will throw hands. Logan might hold him back. Thomas will hold him back but only after a punch or two.

Remy once joked about having one brain cell in front of the kids and all the kids who weren't his got very alarmed and started to make him realize he was smart but Roman and Remus went: yeah you do. He's never been so heavily burned before or since.

Roman and Remus don't do the weird twins finishing each other's sentences thing but Logan and Virgil do.

Patton still makes puns but not good ones because kid's humor is nonsensical so half of the time he'll go up to Logan and Thomas and try them on them and every time they're both like "???? what did you just say????????"

They will all go and do fashion shows where Roman and Remus will take the others and drape them in sheets and cutains and blankets and have everyone walk the fake runway while someone sits out and judges.

Remus, Dee, and Virgil try to do magic together. It doesn't always go well but they try.

Roman, Patton, and Logan will try to play demigod but Patton has no clue what he's doing.

Roman and Remus showed Thomas some Disney sing alongs he could play on his tablet. Anton thinks their son has a lovely singing voice but also. they doesn't like hearing him sing at 6 am when they're barely awake. Can someone hold a grudge against a kindergartner? Ask Anton.

[queenlokibeth]

Shall we talk about the songs on louis’ “28 songs” playlist?

(Massive observation of all 28 songs ahead. Yes it took me 2 hours to make this. Skip to the end after the keep reading if you want the TL;DR)

You’re not the only one - Sam Fender

“The song is in fact about his best mate and himself “coming out on the other end of a bad place” and going out to party. He told Virgin Radio that “It’s a celebratory song about loving your mate, really”. “ - Genius lyrics

“ The fabricated smiles so wide, they're of hope Your composure is so brittle, and you hold yourself so well Inside, you cling to pieces of a broken carousel “ well yes i am crying

“We'll have this place on lockdown, it's here for you to taste“

Call me out - Sea Girls (Nautical theme, anyone?)

“And I've changed a lot since then, ask my friends The crying stopped, on top of that, my eyes forgot An old flame who got her hips on a bucket list And times missed every night since we first kissed”

“ And I've changed a lot since then, ask my friends My clothes, my frame, I've spent enough but feel the same”

“And I'll be waiting when you come and call”

“ I can burn that bridge when we get to it “

The Runner - Foals

“... The narrator is done lamenting his fate now and Part 2 sees him picking himself up, dusting himself off, and moving forward... [A] call to find a sense of purpose and perseverance despite the odds and despite the troubles we may find inside or outside ourselves.” - Genius lyrics

Nightmares - Easy Life

“...topics of insomnia, anxiety, and peer pressure.... The major chords acting to cover up the emotions professed in the lyrics, turning the song itself into a perfect metaphor...” - About the song, Genius lyrics.

“ It's all a bit of fun until somebody gets hurt I’ll take it with a pinch of salt, another bridge is burned” Burning bridges, again, you say?

“ It's all a bit of fun until somebody gets hurt I'll take it with a pinch of salt, another lesson learned But I don't need to know what's real or not no more I don't need to know what's real or not no more “

My honest face - Inhaler (pretty self explanatory title there)

“ [The vocalist] fears being met with nitpicking or criticism of the lesser parts of his performance. He thinks of himself as skilled, but not perfect. “ - About the song, Genius lyrics.

“And honey, I could play the Joker My made up smile broke your heart last night No, no, no, I didn't want to hurt ya But there's just a certain culture when you're young When you're young “

“ And honey, I could play the hater Acting like I hated her last night No, no no, I didn't want to hurt you “

“ I'll take you to an honest place Darling, I just can't find my honest face It's all over the place, it's all over the place “ So he wants to show his audience who he really is, but he can’t.

Your girlfriend - Blossoms (oh? oH?)

This one is interesting. There are many pronoun changes through the song. It’s hard to figure out at which point the girl goes from being “a friend who is a girl” to “girlfriend” and who is the speaker, who is the friend, and who is the girl.

“ I'm a boy And she's a girl With more charm than most movie stars So we met Through a friend We rent a place and she comes round to stay “ The first ‘we’ is the speaker and the girl, the second we is the speaker and his friend. This is when the song starts sounding like a dialogue to me: one person sings everything until before the last line, and the last line is a reply from the friend.

“ And now your girlfriend is ringing in my ears again “ There is a change here from “we met through a friend” (telling the story to someone else) vs this line, where the speaker is talking TO said friend, or perhaps following up on the dialogue theory, this is the friend replying to the speaker.

“ What am I supposed to do? I can tell, they get along so well” Is this the speaker talking about his friend and the girl, no longer talking TO the friend? I feel like this is the (mutual)friend wondering about his girl friend and the speaker.

“Is it possible, she likes me too?

I'm not sure if I should read between those lines “ This could be the speaker wondering.

“I should be moving out but can't 'cause we've just signed a lease “ (Again with the renting? Princess park? Hmm?)

“Thought maybe we'd go out for a movie And we can forget friends who'll be fuming Then I could walk you home in the evening And that's just being friendly “ This can be analysed in so many different ways depending on who’s speakig and to whom.

“And now your girlfriend is ringing in my ears again And when she smiles, I can't hide my jealousy Oh I can't take it, boy I hope she's faking it I heard he bought a ring today

I heard they got engaged today “ This one is interesting, because she might have ended up together with either the friend or the speaker, and whichever one she did not end up with is referring FIRST to their buddy and then moving on to address someone else, telling the story. Also, it almost sounds as if whoever is saying this is jealous OF THE GIRL, not of the guy who is with her.

Overall there is a lot to unpack with this song, mainly because of the change in pronouns and who the singer has as their audience for each line.

Empty hands - Tors

“Too late to call I've been away left you alone”

“I didn't notice you're feeling hopeless So blue-ou-ou again”

“And I'm nothing more than just a man And it breaks my heart When I break your heart”

“And I promised more than I could give And it's not the life you thought you'd live”

“Saturday nights up on the roof Sundays in bed Coffee and sleep Head for a walk Down by the sea with you-ou-ou” (Again nautical theme? Eroda anyone? Lou’s MV? Harry’s MV?)

“When I come back home I see the lights That you left on for me every night When I see you standing at the door Everything i want for evermore “ (Lights up? met you at your doorstep?)

Restrospect - Vistas

“See you find comfort in small things Which she considers the wrong things And you find comfort in hellos Not goodbyes, not goodbye And you try not to have issues With the hate you, love you, and miss yous That all come out when she kissed you Goodbye, goodbye” This is basically saying “hey i know about the stuff you like and don’t, she doesn’t! also you were feeling great until she ruined it!”

“Singing Sweet Caroline with diamonds in her eyes” (diamonds will make sense with the next song)

“Throw my arms to the skies”

“ Let me go and I'll forget Happiness in retrospect” Letting go has been a big theme y’all.

“See you find comfort in tall things Which he considers the wrong things And you find comfort in things he can't Recognise, recognise”  OH HO HO HO WOULD YOU LOOK AT THAT PRONOUN CHANGE? Now there’s a MAN who isn’t right for this person according to the singer.

“ And you want nothing but all this While he's stuck trying to solve it Nevertheless acquiesce till you feel those Butterflies, butterflies “

Lucy - Ten Tonnes (aHA! Lucy as in Lucy in the sky with diamonds, aka ANOTHER Beatles reference up in this bitch.)

“ Where you left your face “

“ Come away, from the window Haven't you learnt? That in dreams you can't get burned And I will meet you there Under purest skies It's where I'll be When they're finished with me” This gives me some SOTT vibes.

My Cheating Heart - Love Fame Tragedy (Pretty self explanatory song title, pretty self explanatory band name)

“Money, women, cars Leave my head among the stars 'Cause I want it all, yeah, yeah I want it all Puppet on a string is it such an evil thing”

“ So do I sink or do I float now?” The water scenes in the MVs????

Tears dry on their own - Amy Winehouse (ouch)

About the song: “She describes how a tarnished relationship has made her feel, and how she cries often. [Song] Samples Marvin Gaye and Tammi Terrell’s “Ain’t No Mountain High Enough” Interesting sampling there, since ANMHE literally goes “ain’t no mountain high enough... to keep me from getting to you babe. Remember the day I set you free...” and just great song overall i cannot copy the whole thing here but YO.

“Once it was so right When we were at our height Waiting for you in the hotel at night I knew I hadn't met my match But every moment we could snatch I don't know why I got so attached It's my responsibility And you don't owe nothing to me But to walk away I have no capacity “ Well i am crying this isn’t it THIS AINT IT

“He walks away The sun goes down He takes the day but I'm grown And in your way, in this blue shade My tears dry on their own” Letting go, your partner leaving you for someone else... there’s a lot to unpack here.

“We could a never had it all We had to hit a wall So this is inevitable withdrawal Even if I stop wanting you A perspective pushes through I'll be some next man's other woman soon” So, Walls? Hardship in the relationship? Not being the formal girlfriend/partner but the side-chick?

“ I wish I could say no regrets And no emotional debts Cause as we kiss goodbye the sun sets So we are history”

2all - Catfish and the Bottlemen

“Life got led By people who Just wanna flood your head

... But it fits you at the time To fall for every line “ As stated by Genius: “...life is often “led” or heavily influenced by those who can rally people to follow their thoughts and ideas, e.g. friends, employers... The “fall for every line” is referring to the ones who let the people that try to influence their lives into their head and let them take over. “

Also, About:  “ The song has a heavy emphasis on how you should hold the best people closest to your heart – the ones who are always there for you when you need them and the people you can count on all the time.”

“ Oh, they convinced me every time That I needed fooling So that I'd go and get it right Yeah, somewhere, they convinced me down the line When I needed fooling So that I'd go and get it right”

Reptilia - The Strokes

About the first lines:  “ A shot at journalists; The Strokes, especially Julian, have never been open with the press and want their music to do their talking.”

“"You sound so sleepy, just take this, now leave me" From Genius:  “Julian’s girl is talking to him, telling him that he looks “sleepy” but he probably is bored... his girl gets frustrated with him and eggs him on to ditch her.”

Honestly the whole analysis on Genius is pretty on point:

“He’s using sarcasm, the girl is trying as hard as she can to keep the relationship together, she’s thirsty as fuck and the night is barely over.... At this point Casablancas just wants to get out of the relationship. he sees this desperate need to leave, but she remains behind.... He’s waited long enough and it’s finally over between whom ever the girl is. She’s not having fun anymore and her happiness becomes sorrow, he just wants this night to be over....[About the title]   Reptiles are cold blooded creatures (and the girl in the song just doesn’t care about the guy.)”

Harmony Hall - Vampire Weekend

This song sort of refers to hate groups, keep that in mind.

“ We took a vow in summertime Now we find ourselves in late December”

“ I thought that I was free from all that questionin'”

“ I don't wanna live like this, but I don't wanna die “

Runaway - KAWALA

“ Run away from the words unspoken Coast to coast going through the motions of Who'll be a better man, who'll do it better”

“ And I'll help you follow the line “

“ We're miles apart, closing up the distance I'm reaching out if you need assistance Who'll be a better man, who'll do it better”

“Today is the day I'll get on Awaiting the storm to move on I lie naked in wait to reform Let's try make it right this time now” I’m-- Bitch i’m---

“ Oh, it's all so emotional Oh, I hope that you're coping Oh, I won't let you lose it all “

Mr. Brightside - The Killers (Ah well we all know this one who are we even kidding)

Honestly this is where shit starts aligning.

About the song: “the song deals with issues of infidelity, paranoia, and jealousy”

“ Coming out of my cage and I've been doing just fine Gotta gotta be down because I want it all It started out with a kiss, how did it end up like this?” Iconic, we all know it, wild.

More About:  “ The song is about the THOUGHT that one’s significant other is cheating”

And anyway, more paranoia and jealousy and fear of getting cheated on.

For now - DMA’S

“ All I need to know, she's dead to me” Well that is... harsh.

“ Quite like what I need to be, I'll send your bones to the sea “ You know the drill.

“ No, I won't be anymore, no, we won't be anymore “

“ Lately, we've lost control of everything you're biddin' for You keep me down, you set the score I've been impossible, only words are drowning out Take your head out of the clouds” There’s like 80 different meanings here.

Belter - Gerry Cinnamon

About the title: “ “belter” which is Scottish slang for an exceptional or outstanding example of something”

“ Diamonds oan' her finger and she always looks her best “ Diamonds again. Also allusion to rings ehem.

“ No happy endings, unless fairy-tales come true But she looks like a princess and there’s not much else to do I think I love her “ :(

“Is happiness an option, or has love just turned me blind?” Double :(

Dry your eyes - The Streets

The whole thing is about a breakup.

“In one single moment your whole life can turn around“

“ Please let me show you how we could only just be for us I can change and I can grow, or we could adjust The wicked thing about us is we always have trust”

“We can even have an open relationship if you must”

“Dry your eyes, mate I know it's hard to take but her mind has been made up There's plenty more fish in the sea Dry your eyes, mate I know you want to make her see how much this pain hurts But you've got to walk away now, it's over” It’s like he’s talking to his buddy who just went through a painful breakup telling him to n o t l e t i t b r e a k h i s h e a r t.

“ 'Cause I can't imagine my life without you and me There's things I can't imagine doing, things I can't imagine seeing “

“ 'Cause you said it'd be forever and that was your vow And you're gonna let our things simply crash and fall down? “ I didn’t include it before, but a few other songs also mention vows.

“ I know in the past I've found it hard to say Telling you things but not telling straight But the more I pull on your hand and say The more you pull away”

Confidence - Ocean Alley

(Random fact: I just noticed that this song is from an album called Chiarobscuro, and i didn’t include it but one of the previous songs also used that word)

“ Well, I should've said this, and I should've said that All that I know now”

Modern Love - Courteeners (quite the title)

“We got style and we got grace, we run wild and never dance alone In this town, she’s fucking famous But this town will never be her home” LA anyone?

“ But I don’t need this modern love This modern love Oh, it always lets me down”

“The popularity trap strikes again You don’t need these fools cause you’re incroyable“ Yeah not to be that larrie but the TPWK website has been telling people that they’re “incroyable” (incredible)

“ We found solace at The Star and Garter “ Oh, what is The Star and Garter? Oh you know, just “... a cult club located in their home town of, Manchester.” Anyways moving on

I am slowly losing my shit here:

“ A bare mattress, a lockless door Two Withington hearts on a pique assiette floor Give me back those awkward exchanges The fumbles In bathtubs When we were just strangers We talk about your graduation And the realisation that we might not be together forever and ever “ Withington is an area of south Manchester.

“ Wide-eyed and up all night This could be good” ANYWAYS...

Laurel Wreath - Bear’s Den

About the title: “refers to the Ancient Greek tradition of awarding Olympic victors laurel wreaths. The laurel wreath is also used in academia and as an architectural accent, for good luck.In this song the wreath is withering, and Andrew Davie uses this idea of athletic defeat as a symbol for his failures and relationship issues.”

“ Or the collapsing of a history “

“ But you found me in the morning, December in my eyes” December was mentioned in other songs, too.

“ Got your call, I needed it more than I could let on to you” WELL

Riot Van - Arctic Monkeys

About the song:  “[The people in the song] As long as they had some good laughs, they don’t care if they are rich or have a job or are poor or anything. They just want to exist. “

“ Got a chase last night From men with truncheons dressed in hats We didn't do that much wrong Still ran away though, for the laugh Just for the laugh“

“ Well, they won't catch me and you”

“ Is there a certain age you're supposed to be? 'Cause nobody told me"

“ They get their address and their names took But they couldn't care less” Genius says: “ This is the police’s main deterrent for underage offenders, but the parents of these boys have obviously had so many calls from them that the boys don’t care anymore.”

Ahhh but the fun comes with painful consequences:

“Thrown in the riot van And all the coppers kicked him in And there was no way he could win Just had to take it on the chin” Also from Genius: “ Throughout society, whatever he does is never good or acceptable enough. He always gets pushed further down and down, to the point where he’s given up. He’s never going to win, there are too many people with much more power going against him. He just has to ‘take it on the chin’, ie. he has to accept that this is his life, there’s not point fighting against it because nothing will ever change.”

Please, please, please let me get what I want - The Smiths (it doesn’t get more literal that this tbh)

About the song: “ This song is about the desperation to fulfill personal desires... He has lived a life full of disappointment and maybe despair... For once he is having a good time, which is a wonderful surprise...” Also, sidenote, in live shows the title lyric apparently gets changed to “let me get who i want”.

The Less I Know the Better - Tame Impala (buddy let me tell you, the amount of gay fics i’ve seen from different fandoms using part of this song as a title...)

About the song: “...describes the pain of a man feeling left out in a love triangle”

“ She was holding hands with Trevor Not the greatest feeling ever” Y’all remember the Trevor concert incident with Harry? also the singer’s name is Kevin... who’s feuding with Trevor in the song... maybe that doesn’t mean shit.

“ Then I heard they slept together Oh, the less I know the better The less I know the better” Oh perhaps you broke up with your love and now he’s with someone else and it hurts?

“ Oh my love, can't you see that you're on my mind”

“ She said, "It's not now or never Wait ten years, we'll be together" I said, "Better late than never Just don't make me wait forever" Don't make me wait forever Don't make me wait forever” Oh shit bruuuuuh oh SHIT.

“I was doing fine without ya Till I saw your face, now I can't erase Giving in to all his bullshit Is this what you want? Is this who you are?” BULLSHIT? DO YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE?

“Oh, sweet darling, where he wants you Said, "Come on Superman, say your stupid line" “

Tomorrow never knows - The Beatles (AHHH WE LOVE A BEATLES REFERENCE)

Song is from the Revolver album (gunshot anyone?)

“Turn off your mind, relax and float downstream It is not dying, it is not dying “

“Lay down all thoughts, surrender to the void It is shining, it is shining”

Eat, Sleep, Wake (Nothing But You) -  Bombay Bicycle Club

“ Eat, sleep, wake Nothing but you” Habit? I don’t know if I could ever go without?

“ I can see where you are, dream where you are Will the song never end? Us on the bed half a meter apart”

“ I may not say it outwardly So all I have are memories Those looks at the start, the words in the dark But never a flame, we just wanted the spark”

ANYWAYS CONCLUSION TIME, or TL;DR: There is A LOT to unpack here. All of these songs vaguely follow the same theme. There’s a lot of breaking up going on, as well as moving on and third parties being involved. There’s stuff about being controlled, not being enough, wanting to be yourself, There’s references to Louis’ songs, to Harry’s songs, to 1D tracks, to Larry, to Elounor, you name it. This playlist is definitely giving us a taste of what Walls will deal with and boy is it A LOT.

[backtobasicbellas]

amy x hope + “Why are you so jealous?”

word count: 2,269

//

In retrospect, Amy should have known this probably was never going to end well.

This being the fact she’s fake dating Hope in attempts to make Ryan jealous.

It happens in the bathroom at school one day. After a terribly awkward encounter with Ryan which leaves Amy absolutely flustered and muttering how stupid she is, Hope emerges from a stall with an amused smirk.

“That was painful to listen to,” Hope tells her. “I was just trying to pee in peace.”

Amy looks up from her self-deprecating muttering and somewhat freezes when she sees Hope. Her cheeks immediately begin to flush.

“Uh, you were...you were in there the whole time?”

“Yup,” Hope nods, popping the ‘p’ in her response. “Heard everything.”

Amy rolls her head back in embarrassment and frustration. “God, she probably thinks I’m such a freak.”

“Most likely.”

Amy gives her a helpless look.

Hope shrugs, still wearing her smirk.

“You know what would help?”

“What?”

“You actually dating someone and not spending every waking second with your neurotic wife.”

Amy opens her mouth, but there’s nothing that comes out. She’s offended by multiple parts of Hope’s last comment, and she isn’t quite sure where to begin. She barely even knows Hope, but she knows the girl is never one to hold back her thoughts for the sake of someone else.

“Molly’s not-” Amy cuts herself off, deciding that’s not the most important part of their discussion right now. “How am I supposed to date someone when I can barely talk to a girl I’m interested in?” 

It’s then that Hope’s eyes light up with mischief and she tilts her head in a menacing way.

“Who said you had to actually date someone?”

And that’s how it starts, after Hope practically corners Amy in the bathroom and concocts a plan to pretend to be Amy’s girlfriend. Amy thinks she’s crazy, but Hope is kind of scary and intriguing and beautiful all at the same time and really, she can get all the help she can get if she wants a girlfriend before she dies so, she goes through with it.

This is how they end up here, now, with Amy’s back against the lockers and Hope towering over her with one arm over head head and resting against the locker to keep her steady. Hope looks down at her with an easy smile on her face, one that might’ve seemed unnatural to anyone else, but to Amy she thinks it fits Hope well.

Amy’s getting used to this now; she’s getting used to how she and Hope take turns picking each other up in the mornings for school. She’s used to Hope hanging out on the hood of her car while waits for Amy to finish up whatever extracurricular she has that day, either reading or writing or sketching. She’s used to having Hope come over, listening to music or watching a movie or just spending hours talking while they lie on her bedroom floor.

Being with Hope is easy; she’s more than her harsh comments and intimidating beauty. Hope is smart and intricate and so much more complex than anyone else understands.

And this is the problem now, because Amy thinks she’s falling for Hope.

Despite her scary and somewhat bitchy nature, Hope goes out of her way always to make sure Amy’s comfortable with anything and everything. Whether it’s holding her hand, kissing her cheek or even kissing her in front of Ryan and other people - she always manages to make sure she’s not doing too much.

 (“You don’t have to ask if you can kiss me every time anymore,” Amy says shyly. “It’s cool.”

Hope looks at her with and tell her in a genuine voice, “Consent in important.”

Amy bites her lip to stop herself from smiling like an idiot, because that might’ve been the sweetest thing Hope’s ever said to her.)

Sometimes when they hold hands Hope’s thumb traces shapes on the back of Amy’s hand soothingly, softly. It makes Amy’s insides melt just a little every time.

And now, Hope is looking at her in the middle of this damn hallway like she’s the most interesting person on earth, and it just about drives Amy insane.

But this is all pretend. Hope is doing all these things because she should as a fake girlfriend.

(She’s a damn good one at that.)

Hope leans down and presses a kiss to Amy’s forehead before her other hand is coming up to rub soft circles on Amy’s lower back.

“Ryan just walked by,” Hope mumbles by her ear, giving her chills. 

“Oh,” Amy says, trying to keep her breathing even. “Thanks.”

Amy honestly can’t even tell if it’s working; she’s finding herself paying more attention to Hope and less to Ryan these days.

Apparently it is working though because Ryan is magically beginning to talk to Amy a lot more. It’s almost like any excuse she can, she talks to Amy. And quite honestly, Amy doesn’t even know what to do with all the attention. Between Hope playing a damn good fake girlfriend and Ryan suddenly picking up interest, Amy thinks she might pass out at any given minute.

“Dude, you’re like a total lesbian heart throb,” Molly tells her at lunch one day.

Amy snorts. “Yeah right. This thing with Hope isn’t even real, remember? We’re pretending.”

Molly hums like she knows something Amy doesn’t, but Amy doesn’t seem to notice.

“Ryan’s been talking to me a lot,” Amy says one day when they’re laying on Amy’s floor.

Hope is quiet for a moment before she replies, “I’ve noticed.”

Amy hums, a little too lost in thought to notice the shift in Hope’s tone.

“I think she wants to hang out soon,” she continues. “She was telling me about this cool spot she and her skater friends hangout at after school. She was saying that I should check it out some time.”

“Maybe you should,” Hope says, suddenly getting up. “I have to go.”

Amy frowns, checking her watch. Hope never leaves this early.

“Where are you going?”

Hope shrugs, not looking at her. “I have some stuff to catch up on.”

Amy sits up in confusion and watches as Hope grabs her keys and her backpack, slinging it over her shoulder without glancing once at Amy.

“I’ll see you tomorrow morning,” she says.

“Oh um, okay,” Amy answers dumbly. “Bye Hope.”

(And honestly, for as smart as Amy can be, she’s really stupid when it comes to girls.)

She and Ryan start hanging out at school, Amy guesses. It’s not like, they plan it or anything, but Ryan somehow happens to be around more often than not when Hope and Molly aren’t and it’s just, kind of nice to have another person to hang out with.

(Amy doesn’t realize that sometimes, Hope sees them.

She watches for a moment before she storms away, unhappy features settled on her face.)

She doesn’t think too much of it when Gigi approaches her after Ryan skates away to class.

“What are you doing?” Gigi demands, eyes wide.

“Uh,” Amy stutters, unsure how she feels about having Gigi up in her face. “I - uh, what?”

“You’re going to ruin it!” Gigi exclaims, throwing her hands up in the air as she takes a step back. “Why would you do that?”

Amy somewhat shrinks into herself as she says, “I don’t know what you’re talking about Gigi.”

Gigi leans in once again, but this time she whispers, “She’s more vulnerable than you think.”

Now Amy just furrows her eyebrows. “What?”

But the bell rings and suddenly Gigi is running off to what Amy hopes is her next class.

Amy can only sigh before she heads into her own class, where she knows she’ll find Hope.

She doesn’t notice how lately, Hope’s been a bit more affection and holds Amy’s hand a little longer.

She doesn’t notice the way Hope’s face lights up when she walks into a room.

So when one day, Hope’s the one that has to stay after school for one of her art projects, Amy doesn’t think twice about hanging out with Ryan in the parking lot and attempting to learn how to skateboard.

Amy has fallen twice and tripped three times, but she’s having fun and entertaining herself while she waits for Hope.

She misses the way Hope’s entire demeanor shifts when she walks out into the parking lot and sees how Amy is laughing and looking at Ryan.

“Amy,” she calls out in a sharp tone, making a beeline for her car.

Amy jolts at the sound of her voice, but recognizes it as Hope. She bids Ryan a goodbye - which gets a “later dude” in response - and walks over to Hope’s car, hopping in.

“How was your project?” she asks.

Hope turns on the car and replies shortly, “Fine.”

They don’t speak the whole way home, something that makes Amy uncomfortable. The music is louder than usual today and Hope seems to be gripping the steering wheel tightly. She keeps her eyes on the road and never once looks at Amy, and something feels off.

“Hope, are you mad at me?” Amy asks in a small voice.

“No.”

“Why aren’t you talking?”

“Because I don’t want to.”

Amy doesn’t think she’ll get much more out of Hope, so she sits back and takes the answers for what she can get.

When Hope pulls up to Amy’s house, she makes no move to stop the car. All she does is put her car in park and waits, one hand still on the steering wheel.

“..Are you not coming inside?” Amy asks. “I thought you wanted to do homework.”

“Not anymore.”

And Amy feels like she’s a very patient person, but Hope’s attitude since they got in the car is starting to bother her.

“If I did something you should just tell me.”

“You didn’t do anything,” Hope snaps. “Maybe I’m just not in the mood. Not everything’s about you, you know.”

Amy blinks, not expecting the attack from Hope.

“If you’re upset we should just talk about it,” Amy suggests.

“Don’t you have Ryan to talk to now?”

The way Hope sneers takes Amy by surprise. She hasn’t seen this side of Hope in a long time, not since she was too afraid to even approach the other girl. 

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Ugh God nothing,” Hope groans with a roll of her eyes.

“I don’t believe you,” Amy tells her.

“Well, too bad.”

“Hope.”

“Amy.”

“We’re talking about this.”

“No we’re not.”

“Hope,” Amy repeats.

“Fuck Amy!” Hope hisses, shutting off her car and getting out before slamming the door.

Amy watches in the mirror as Hope makes her way to the back of the car, leaning against it. She waits for a few seconds before she also follows suit - minus the slamming - and stands in front of Hope, arms crossed.

“What is your problem?”

“Jesus, why are we even still doing this?” Hope asks, exasperated. “Why is this still going on? Ryan’s all over you, you got what you wanted. She’s always hanging around you every second I’m not there. She always trying to impress you with her dumb skater tricks and honestly Amy, she’s not smart enough for you.”

As Hope rattles on every possible way Ryan has Amy’s attention, Amy notices the way Hope gets worked up. Something clicks in her head, something that Molly had teasingly joked about the other day.

(“God she’s sending daggers to Ryan,” Molly muttered when Hope goes to throw away her tray. “It’s like she’s jealous or something.”

“She’s just that good,” Amy had shrugged.)

“Why are you so jealous?” Amy asks, quirking an eyebrow.

Hope makes a face. “What?”

“You’re jealous,” Amy tells her.

“No I’m not,” Hope scoffs.

“Yes you are, or else you wouldn’t be so worked up on Ryan talking to me like we planned.”

Hope’s jaw sets and she won’t look directly at Amy. Amy thinks she’s onto something here.

“This was just supposed to be an act,” Amy tells her.

Hope’s working her jaw and now is pointedly not looking at Amy.

“It was,” she agrees.

“But I don’t think it is anymore,” Amy continues.

Hope shrugs. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

Amy takes a step towards her and says, “Well, it’s not for me anymore.”

Only then does Hope snap her head back to look at Amy, giving her a hard look.

“What?”

“I thought it was going to be great when I finally got Ryan to notice me,” Amy shrugs. “but it wasn’t. I...already had what I needed.”

Hope just watches, trying to read Amy like she always does. Amy takes that as a sign to continue.

“Being with you is easy. I like who I am when I’m with you. I like when you hold my hand and kiss me. I don’t want to pretend it’s not real anymore.”

She bites her lip, waiting with baited breath for Hope’s response. For a fleeting moment, she feels like she’s gotten it all wrong, that Hope was upset for another reason and was just taking it out on her. She opens her mouth to take it all back when Hope is reaching out and tugging her closer by the front of her jacket.

“I like being with you,” Hope says softly, her eyes flittering down and back up. “And I like you.”

Amy smiles in relief. “Cool.”

Hope snorts. “God you’re such a loser.”

“You like this loser,” Amy reminds her.

Hope grins. “Yeah, I do.”

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #376

“when the wind bends the branch to softly touch me  /  when the band plays your song  /  i feel strong enough to keep dreaming”

If your s/o smoked pot/did drugs would you care? Yes, but for pot that's only because it's illegal here. I also find smoking to be a turn-off, but I'd be able to look past that if it was for actual health reasons. Do people ever call you by your last name? No. Has the last person you dated/fell in love with ever seen you cry? Yes. Where are you going on your next vacation (or where do you WANT to go)? I've got none planned, nor do I know where I'd want to prioritize. Like there's South Africa, but I first need to get healthier before I could handle the heat and trudging through sand. I want to go to Yellowstone National Park to spread Teddy's ashes there (seeking permission of course), but again, I need to be in better shape before I go on a venture of photographing there, as well. I need to be healthier to do a lot of the things I want to... Do you own anything bought in another country? No. Who do you text the most? Sara. Four things you wish you had? Better health (including mental), financial stability, a job, and motivation to indulge more in my artistic hobbies. What was the last thing you cried about? Stress regarding this dog we're stuck with. What is your favorite Elvis song? Probably "You're The Devil In Disguise." Do you think you could be the next American Idol? Ha, absolutely not. Do you prefer reading fiction or non-fiction? Fiction, by a long shot. Does anybody send you money in the mail for your birthday? No. My grampa used to, but he's been dead a couple years. Who is one person you met and automatically didn’t like? I was not a fan of a doctor I once saw for my tremors. She was very rude and just threw the idea of me having Parkinson's or something at what, 17 years old or whatever? My psychiatrist knows her as well and knows she's a whackjob. Heard her name and was essentially like "ew" lmao. What monster would you be most afraid to have in your closet? A male one with a knife, I guess. I really hate knives. And men scare me anyway. Which Adam Sandler movie do you like the most? I don't know, he's in too many to possibly think of one right off the top of my head. Who was one of your first celebrity crushes? Jesse McCartney was my first true love, haha. Have you ever been hit on through text messages? Yes. Do you have to do any yard work? No. Have you ever mowed the lawn? No. Do you get an allowance? No. Did you ever know your great grandparents? I think I knew one? There was this woman from my childhood I knew as "GG" for "great grandma," but I have no recollection of who she was related to or even if she was directly related to me. I remember that I really really liked her, though. Do you like the taste of Tums? It's the texture I really don't like. The candy-like Tums though, y'know, not the chalky ones, I like more than someone should like medicine, haha. How about Pepto Bismol? Omfg no. Do you have a fast or slow metabolism? I have a slow metabolism, but thank Christ it's not as bad as when I was on Abilify. That stupid fucking medicine was the reason I gained so much weight that I haven't been able to lose. What’s your favorite onomatopoeia? (Crash, bang, zoom, meow) I dunno. Do you eat ramen? There's only one specific kind of ramen I've had that I like: Yakisoba's spicy chicken one. Sweet or regular pickles? Regular. I don't like sweet pickles. What kind of dreams do you have most often? Since my nightmares started, violent ones. I'm usually trying to defend myself or lashing out at someone myself. What do you do for personal growth? I try to be a deep thinker, for one. This can way too easily lead to overthinking, but I appreciate that I think it at least helps me learn from my mistakes and work towards making me a better person. I need to start challenging my anxiety more, as that would definitely be massive growth... If you could read anyone’s mind, who would be the first person you’d read? Jason's, only because all I want to know is if he thinks I was emotionally abusive after the breakup or not. But I also don't want to know. Do you have a makeup item or style trick that you feel improves your look significantly and that you feel like you couldn’t go without now that you have it? No. What’s your favourite cereal? Probably Cinnamon Toast Crunch, but I like a lot of cereals. Do you prefer red wine or white wine? I don't like wine. Way too bitter. Do you read Reddit? If so, how often and what subreddits do you like? I don't, but I've thought about lurking on a reptile husbandry one or something like that. Might learn some stuff. But at the same time, there are so many conflicting and very strong opinions amongst hobbyists to the point of awful toxicity that I'd rather not read. Have you recently broken up with a significant other or even just a friend? No. Have you ever eaten at a restaurant and left without paying? God no. When was the last time you played a board game? What did you play? Probably Scrabble back when Sara visited. Do you primarily use cash or card for your purchases? Why? Cash, because I don't have a debit or credit card. Do you believe sex should be mandatory in an ongoing dating relationship? Um, no? Some people don't care for it, and that's completely fine. Have you ever recorded yourself doing a cover of a song? No. Any secrets you’d never tell anyone? No matter how close they are to you? Yes. Do you like deviled eggs? NO. FUCK that yolk shit. What career are you most interested in? I still think my first career goal, a paleontologist, would be most interesting and exciting. Like just IMAGINE discovering a new dinosaur. And it's such a job of passion - you have to be so, SO careful and invest so much time in slowly recovering it from millions of years of rock and sand and time. I can only imagine the feeling of accomplishment when an excavation is complete. Have you ever seen a rooster? Yeah? What do you think about religion? Honestly, I personally wish it had never been a thing. It's brought with it so much hatred and bigotry, but I do acknowledge at the same time it's brought great comfort and hope to some people, and that's wonderful. But just all things considered, I feel it's done more harm than good. What’s your favorite sweetheart name (baby, honey, angel, dumpling) Probably "lovely." Has a little kid ever fallen asleep on your lap before? Yes, back when I babysat my neighbor's kid once. Have you ever thrown a grenade? Yikes, no. Have you ever talked face to face with someone famous before? No. Have you ever owned a rocking horse? I don't think so? If you could meet anyone in the world who would it be? HMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM Have you ever wished you were dead? Yes. Is it awkward when people start talking all deep around you? No, I actually like deep convos. Have you ever played the old school Pac Man arcade game? Possibly? Ever played Mario Karts on Nintendo 64? No. Have you ever been scuba diving? No. Can you surf/boogie board? No. Do you like Chinese food, Mexican food, or American food better? American. What’s your favorite thing to order from Taco Bell? Cheese quesadilla and fiesta potatos. Sometimes I get the cinnabon delight thingies, but I avoid 'em with how unhealthy they are. Do you like hot, cold, or lukewarm showers? Pretty hot. Do you like to swing? I LOVED swinging as a kid. I haven't done it in a very long time now. How about jumping on a trampoline? I loved that as a kiddo, too. I haven't done that in years. What are you favorite color eyes? Sapphire blue or like an emerald green. Do you have long arm hair? Nah, at least I don't think so. What third generation console is your favorite? PS3, Xbox 360, or Wii? I loved my PS3. I'm still so bummed mine broke. How often do you like to have sex? I'm not sexually active, but even when I was, I didn't care. Do you have a facial expression you seem to pull a lot? What is it? Not really. I think I look stoic most of the time. Do you always listen to music when you’re online? No; I usually have a let's play or something like that on that I can split my screen and watch while doing something else. If so, what are you currently listening to? I'm listening to "Love Goes On And On" by Lindsey Stirling and Amy Lee right now. Do you ever forget how to do really simple things? Like what? Yes, like how to control the laundry machine and other things like that. There's just so many options that I never, ever remember what to set it to, no matter how many times Mom shows me. That's how my memory is with most things these days, really... Were you born with naturally straight teeth? No; I needed braces. If you were the opposite gender, what name would you like to be called? Uhhh maybe Severin. Do you prefer original or sour Skittles? I love both, but sour wins. What about chocolate or peanut M&M’s? I also enjoy both, but the original are better. Your favourite band: Do you prefer their old or new stuff? That's like... impossible to answer, lol. I just love everything. Do you check to make sure your ear phones are going in the right ear? No. Do you secretly still listen to Ace of Base? I have no idea who that is. Have you ever broken someone else’s bone? No, thank goodness. I'd feel awful. Is it stupid to think you can write a book at thirteen? No?????????? There are incredibly talented writers out there at young ages. Hell, I remember as a kid, I wanted to be the youngest published author way before that age. Are you ever embarrassed about what you dream about? There've been some I wouldn't share. Have you ever had sex with someone as a favor? No, and I never would. Does your mom let you date? I'm 25, my dude. She let me when I felt ready, though. If you had the last person you kissed’s Facebook password, would you go snooping through their stuff? Why or why not? She doesn't have one, but hypothetically, fuck no. Because that's none of my damn business, and it still wouldn't be even if we were still dating. Have you ever fainted? If so, when was the last time? If not have you ever come close? I've fainted once when I was a teen and have come close many other times. Ever take a keyboarding class? Do you type using the skills you learned in class, or how you used to before you took the class? Yeah; it was mandatory for I think one year in middle school. I type how I was taught in there. Do you find your best friend’s significant other/crush attractive? She doesn't have an s/o, and idk who her "real" crush is, as much as she'd love Frieza to be real, haha. What do you do with your clothes that don’t fit anymore or just don’t want? Donate them. Do you cut out coupons? My mom will keep some fast food ones she gets in the mail sometimes. Did you ever breathe in helium and talk funny afterwards? I think I did once at a birthday party, but I'm unsure. Would you ever open your own business? If so, what kind of business could you imagine yourself having? I want to be a freelance photographer so, so badly. I want to specialize in nature and wildlife, but having a boudoir studio would be great to help keep me afloat, plus I adore the art of boudoir. I've shot it once for an old friend, and by god, I loved how empowered it made her feel, especially as a plus-sized woman. She adored the pictures, and I'd just love to help other clients feel like they're gorgeous in their unique body, too. Last type of candy you ate? I had a donut from Starbuck's yesterday. Did you decorate your house for Halloween? If so, how many decorations? Did you go all out, or just put up a few things? Mom and I don't really decorate anymore. :/