#if only I didn't procrastinate so much
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Little wip of my babygirl, Gabriel.
I love this man so much
#artists on tumblr#art#my art#oc#my oc#digital art#doodle#oc art#my ocs#oc: gabi#oc: gabriel#oc: gabriel lavande#hand havers ocs#hand havers art#wip#artwork#artist#character art#oc artist#small artist#original art#art wip#work in progress#rendering the background will be such a pain#if only I didn't procrastinate so much#main oc#favorite oc
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dude are we talking horses.png
Was looking at mlp redesigns and inspiration struck, and my procrastination helped with it
#When procrastinating. Draw ponies#Oc: Billy#Oc: Camille#My art#My OCs#Mlp#My little pony#Ponified#I hope Camille doesn't look too much like chrysalis#She had to be a changeling but I didn't want her bald. Unfortunately her and chrys have almost the exact same hair 😭😭😭#Billy's a unicorn. My gf helped with his cutie mark design 🩷#The heart is not a part of it it's just a birth mark. In cannon he also has a heart shaped mark on his ass#This implies the existence of pony Jesus#Anyway I don't know shit about mlp lore so don't at me#This will be one of the only times Billy's shorter than Camille
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Tests on a Saturday are horrible man 😭, I also got other shit to do other than just study for that shit
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Hm. I really wish my brain worked the way it's supposed to.
#i just#yeah my biggest problem rn is that the task of finding an apartment seems like an insurmountable task#but also just little things like i haven't gotten a haircut since may last year#and i only just managed to make an appointment to get my id and passport renewed#it's been expired for four years and i once got as far as to select an appointment date but then i just. Didn't.#why you might ask? No idea!#idk why my brain decides to put roadblocks literally everywhere but it's making my life so much harder#and i just wish everything wasn't such a struggle#honestly if i hadn't been offered my job right after my apprenticeship with the same company i don't know where I'd be now#job search is just as daunting as an apartment search and even just applying for the apprenticeship was like pulling teeth#if I'd had to do that again who's to say i wouldn't just have procrastinated again?#my dudes i am a mess and i would like to not be a mess but HOW#personal
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i hate online classes so fucking bad grrrr. also hating my adhd so bad rn argh online class with minimal structure + my adhd is the literal worst combo LMAO
#i only have a week leftttt#but argghhh i left all my work for this week til today#and it's baddd there's so much#but i know i'm gonna pass i just procrastinate and then make myself anxious when i suddenly have to do all this work#as if i didn't know that would happen!!#adhd am i right#. >> mari says shit !
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Productivity
ENTJ: Do you know those moments when you’ve got so much to do that you have no idea where to even start and so you start making a list of things that are too unimportant to waste your time on right now? But at the same time you’re wasting time by not working on the things that actually are important. You’re just making lists of all the tiny aspects of your work that you can throw out just to make yourself feel like you’re doing something.
INFJ: No, I don’t know those moments. I’m less productive, you see. When I’m overwhelmed by all the stuff I have to do, I panic and stare at the wall for three hours.
ENTJ: You’ve been doing that a lot lately, haven’t you?
INFJ: ... yes.
#i feel like it has to be said that we only had this conversation because entj didn't have the motivation to work anymore today#so he came to my office to make me procrastinate with him together for an hour and then he left to do the same to our estj co-worker#he's such an idiot i love talking to him#every time i meet another NJ (which happens like once every 100 years) i slightly lose it a little#because talking to someone else with Ni is like suddenly being allowed to breathe#suddenly there's someone who actually speaks your language and there's never just one second of silence because there's so much to say!!#(is that how people with more common functions get to feel frequently? like SPs meeting other SPs? SJs meeting SJs?)#also it's very funny to be on the receiving end of the Ni stare because all of us NJs do that#so whenever you see two (not romantically involved) people just staring at each other's eyes for two hours you've found two NJs#my intj brother has a problem with eye contact actually but he STILL DOES THIS just not when you're looking too#this has nothing to do with the post but you know me#maybe i'll do a more elaborate post about the ni stare at some point#also i'm gonna post the list with the writer interviews very soon took a bit longer than i had anticipated and i still only have one isfp#but oh well what can you do#mbti#mbti conversations#entj#infj
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Villain!Ghost x Pregnant!Wife!Reader
Synopsis: Your husband wants your company..
A/n: GUYS OMG, I know it's been 1 month and a little more since my last official work. I've been procrastinating on this for so long since I only have less than a week till school again.. Also everyone I love on this app is just disappearing, like @ghost-cyphera just deleted her account 4 days ago and I got the notif but didn't see it in time, I didn't even get to say goodbye. Just wanted to apologize to you guys after being gone for so long as well. Also, another villain!Ghost drabble? 👀
Finding it difficult to walk was one of the least things you've suspected you'd be concerned of upon conceiving, always needing your handmaiden's help in such a mundane task was shameful to say the least but your husband insisted.
If it hadn't been the hand maiden then it would've been him instead, you couldn't keep him from his duties from the kingdom as he carried even yours. Wanting you to turn your attention to the health of the babe growing in you and especially yourself..
"My lady.." you were pulled out of your thoughts by the voice of your handmaiden. You took in a breath from the cool air that blew on your face as you stood by the stone railing..
"Yes, Leticia?" You turned to her..
"The prince consort has requested your company.." Leticia announced, you nod as you removed your hand from the cold stone. You glanced once more to the people of your kingdom, going about their day and life before gently lifting yourself off from leaning on the stone.
Leticia offered you her arm to help you walk more efficiently..
...
"You sent for me..?" You asked your husband, he was sat and signing another set of documents and scrolls. You closed the door, palms gently pushing till you heard it click.
"No, I told them to announce my arrival to you. How dare they exert my wife by giving her false instructions.." he huffed to which you laughed. He wouldn't do anything violent about it, as he so usually does with staff that don't comply but he knew it'd upset you if anything gory were to happen to them.
"I am quite alright, I need to move around too. It's proven to be good for our child." You said, sitting next to the graciously comfortable chair next to his working desk that he had someone make for you.
You felt relief from the pressure previously on your back, hand on the bump of your stomach and with that a sigh came from your lips. Peacefully watching your husband, the sound of the satisfying scratching of the quill on the crisp papers.
You felt his hand grasp yours, he pulled it, lips resting on the back. His affection made your heart beat faster and he felt it, the pad of his index finger on your wrist. The thumping made him chuckle as you smiled and leaned your head on his shoulder.
"You should rest for a while, my love. You'd work yourself to sickness at this point." You kiss his cheek softly. He put his quill down, "If that's my wife wants.." he said.
He wrapped his arm around you, the other hand placed on your baby bump. His thumb gently rubbing, you jolted a bit feeling a strong kick..
It made you groan, how restless the rascal is. Your husband adjusted his hand to feel the next kick.. he'd swear it was a girl, not that he'd care for that sort of thing. He'd kill for them either way, especially for you. He could stare at you all day, swollen with his child.
How glowing you looked wrapped in the finest silk and the gold and jewels in your hair and body clicking upon contact with another piece, he wished he could tell you how utterly speechless you'd leave each man by just walking passed them but to him no word is enough to describe you.
At least he could spend these small intimate moments with just you and you alone, free of the world for even just a few minutes as he needed a break from the work he very much was eager to do to be able to receive praise from his wife..
My CoD Masterlist
Taglist: @wishesforyou @puff0o0 @simping4konig @simp4konig @blingblong55 @azereus @rustic-guitar-notes @callsignsnowpunisher @anonymuslydumb @skeletalgoats @icarustypicalfall @connorsui @capuccino192 @miss-gms-and-the-rotten-womb @celestialhole @the-second-sage @starryylies @everlastingmoonlightsworld @keiva1000 @iexiam @drewsmusee @konigceo @duck-a-doodle
#cod x reader#aethelwyne lia writes#ghost x reader#simon riley x reader#Our Throne of Ruin#simon ghost riley x reader#ghost x you#simon ghost x reader#simon ghost riley#ghost simon riley#simon ghost#simon riley call of duty#simon riley#simon riley x you#simon ghost x you#simon ghost riley x you#simon ghost fluff#ghost x female reader#ghost x plus size reader#ghost x y/n#simon riley cod#dad!ghost#villain au#royalty au#fantasy au#cod au#ghost call of duty#ghost cod#princess!reader
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Downsides of becoming a queer historian you don't realise until you are in waaaaay too deep:
sometimes you have to read an article on "TrAnSvEsTiTeS" that was written by a white straight cis-man in, like, the seventies and it's just a guy who took Freud too seriously and is like: Men wear women's clothing because their mothers were ~homosexuals~ (if you know what I mean) who project on their little boys and their fathers were beta b#ches who let the household be run by a woman and didn't protest.
And all that while doing research for your paper that's due in four days that's about a really cool topic like - in this case the question of whether or not St. Mary/Marinos can be understood as a trans person and it's really fascinating because like, you can definitely read Marinos as a trans man from a modern point of view - even though it's always a curious discussion because obviously we can never know what Marinos would have chosen to call themselves. Except that we literally know that he would have rather been punished severely for fornication and fathering than child than tell people that he had a vagina. Like. As in Marinos told noone, they only found out after his death - so, I don't know what you want me to make with that, but that's not very cis. And that's basically what my essay is about. :D
And then there come the 80s and 90s scholars again and there all like this person is definitely a WOMAN - like, what do you mean, SHE lived her whole life as a male monk in a monastery and rather get expelled than tell people about HER vagina that made it impossible for HER to father a child and never told anyone and people only found out SHE was a WOMAN after HER death? Well Obviously SHE was in denial about HEr Womanhood.
Or- my favourite cishet interpretation of the story: well, obviously that story is written for cis men because St. Mary is a personification of the guilt men have for desiring women the shouldn't and acting on that because you see- she was punished for it and she couldn't have done it but it isn't revealed until after her death so men have stories that make them feel guilty and help them stay on the right path.
But like. Seriously. It's an absolut shit-show.
#history#queer history#queer historian#to save you some googgling:#fornication = sleeping with someone you are not married to#hagiography = fancy word of saying the lifestory of a saint#but really#I am having so much fun with this topic#and I am so grateful to my instructor for letting me write about this because it's actually interesting and I am only in my second semester#and my last paper had to be on exactly what my instructor wanted me to write about#not that I didn't bend that rule a little bit and got rewarded for it#but yeah - this is just so much better#well anyways#this is basically just a new way of procrastinating on my paper that's due on saturday :)#so bye#master of procrastination#I mean at least I kept myself from starting to write a dnd campaign or a whole ass new play instead of a paper#so I call that success#oy almost forgot#if you want to know more feel free to ask me questions I love to talk about this#or look up#cross-dressed saints#and especially Marina the Monk#that's yet another name of the person I am writing about#but the one that usually gets me to the right saint#sorry for spamming tags
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Can I ask for a first time (iykyk) with tenjiku? Where reader is a bit shy at first but man she kinky af on the insideee
Tenjiku x Shy!Virgin!->Kinky!Reader
♡ NSFW, fem reader, fluff kinda, virginity loss obviously, virgin!Shion, soft sex -> kinky shit, rough sex/manhandling, overstimulation, creampie/breeding kink, cum play/cum drinking, daddy kink, saliva/spit play, tongue kissing, size kink/belly bulging, degradation, biting ♡
Characters: Izana, Kakucho, Ran, Rindou, Mucho, Mochi, Shion, Hanma
note: anon you ate real bad with this idea, I'm so sorry I procrastinated so hard with this 😭 I should be ashamed of myself fr
edit: added Hanma for @sayaka-ur-cutie
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Izana (breeding kink)
🎴 Izana is surprisingly gentle at first, he wants to make your first time as pain free as possible. But as soon as he feels you thrusting your hips against his and basically fucking him back, he's gone, eyes rolled back and everything (I believe in extra sensitive!Izana). It also didn't help that you were whining for him not to pull out, the mere thought of cumming inside you had him seeing stars. He spent the rest of the night fucking, filling, and overstimulating you.
Kakucho (cum play)
🩷 Kakucho literally makes the sweetness love to you, and it's not until after that he finds out how freaky you really are. After he pulls out and takes the condom off, he's shocked (and aroused) to see you take it out of his hand and raise it to your lips, swallowing every drop of his cum from it. He's standing there for a solid minute or two just staring at you before finally mustering up the courage to politely ask you if you want more.
Ran (daddy kink)
💜 Ran knows it's your first time, so he's going nice and slow with you...up until you call him daddy. He doesn't even say anything, he just smirks because he knew you were an undercover freak. He starts going slower, trying to make you whine and beg for him. He'll only speed up again if you call him daddy again though.
Rindou (spit play)
🩵 Rindou loves the way you hide your face when he starts fucking you, he thinks it's cute that you're so shy. You're a lot less shy by the time he finds the perfect rhythm though, your hands roaming all over his body as he pounds into your pussy. Eventually your hands find their way to his hair, tangling in his locks and pulling him into a kiss. He thinks it's just a sweet little kiss and it was, until you slipped your tongue in his mouth. He just couldn't help but moan into the kiss before sliding his tongue into your mouth in return. And he definitely picked up on the way you clenched around him when his spit mixed with yours and started dripping down your lips and chin. He found your weakness, so expect him to exploit it to the fullest extent from now on.
Mucho (size kink)
💙 Mucho didn't think much of it when you mentioned how big he was, he knew you were just stating the obvious and probably a little nervous since you were a virgin. But when he kept hearing you say it in between the occasional moan or whimper while he was fucking you, that's when he realized just how much the difference in size turned you on. And he definitely didn't mind, if anything he started doing things to make the size difference more obvious. He grabbed your thighs and pressed your legs closer to your body, making you bend in ways you didn't know you could. He manhandled you, touching you with more force to show off his strength. But his new favorite thing was pressing his hand against the prominent bulge in your tummy, chuckling softly as you moaned and writhed in pleasure underneath him.
Mochi (degradation)
🍡 Mochi knew it was your first time, so he was extra careful not to hurt you...physically anyways. You just looked so cute underneath him, he couldn't help but tease you a little. Whispering dirty praises in your ear, telling you how good of a slut you were for him. He'd totally understand if you weren't into it, but the smile on his face when he felt your pussy gripping him tighter gave away the absolute delight he felt in knowing that you were just as nasty as him.
Shion (biting)
♥️ Shion took his sweet time when he took your virginity, mainly because he was a virgin too and wanted your first time together to be special. He gently thrusted in and out of you with his face buried in the crook of your neck, planting soft kisses all over. All his gentle efforts went out the window when he felt your teeth sinking into his shoulder though. He had an almost visceral reaction to the bite, letting out a gasping moan and gripping your thighs tighter as he slowed down his thrusts, trying desperately not to cum inside you. He didn't know how to react, so he did what his body told him to and gently bit you back, his dick twitching inside you as he heard you let out a soft whimper. You two spent the rest of the night in each other's arms, fucking gently and nipping at each other's skin.
Hanma (rough sex)
🏵️ Hanma knew you were a virgin and was fully prepared to be gentle with you, at least at first. As soon as he bottomed out in you he knew damn well he wasn't going to be gentle the entire time. And your soft moans and the way you begged him to go harder only spurred him on. By the end of the night he was balls deep in your pussy with no intentions of ever being gentle in the bedroom again.
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Taglist
@arlerts-angel @i-literally-cant-with-this @trevengersprincess @giugiette @katkusuo @happy-trenchcoated-impala @drunkcheesecake @darkstarlight82 @reiners-milkbiddies @manji-hoe
#tokyo revengers headcanons#tokyo revengers x reader#tokyo revengers smut#tokyo revengers fluff#izana smut#kakucho smut#ran smut#rindou haitani smut#mucho smut#mochi smut#shion smut#could you tell I was having Rindou brainrot? 😭#and Mucho 🫠 Idk why his was so long#and Shion's!!#I think I have a problem 🙃 it's a good one tho#Idk why I had like a spark of motivation early in the morning when I should damn well be sleep#the urge to write about fictional men at 1am is so real#hanma x reader#hanma smut#added hanma my pookie 😭
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as an apology for my constant disappearing here is a preview for my virgin nanami fic, hopefully done by the end of this month <3
hurt (comfort in full fic), making out, nanami being dumb
nanami kento was an orderly man.
not a single strand of his golden hair ever strayed from its place. his tie was never too far to the right or the left — only smack dab in the middle against his built chest.
his crisp, navy shirt didn't dare have a wrinkle on it, much like his allen edmond shoes that were free from any creases despite being worn every day for years.
it made you want to ruin him. ruin such perfection in all his towering glory.
and you did - at least, at much as nanami would let you.
intense makeout sessions happened every so often: during impromptu movie nights on the couch, in the morning under the warmth of your shared blankets, and especially after extra-hard days at work.
yet it never went further, no matter how hard you tried to initiate anything — whether it be a hand sliding down too low, or a soft moan into his mouth, nanami would be fumbling up an excuse to leave immediately. just like now.
"mmph.. 'missed you," you mumble against his swollen lips, sucking the bottom one greedily. the man had only just walked into the kitchen when you'd practically pounced on him in hunger.
despite his surprise, kento gives you the privilege of running your nails through his once-perfectly-slicked-back hair, grunting as you yank him even closer with his tie, loosening it in the process.
"missed you too, honey." even the simplicity of his giant hands caressing your waist sends a rush of arousal through your body, humming as you rub a hand down the solid ridges of his abs. he tasted like the coffee he'd probably been sipping languidly throughout the day, mixed in with the natural flavor of him.
memories of the sorcerer slipping in and out of the shower shirtless — toned torso on display and all — were some of the hardest in your book. occasionally, you would joke to him about dropping your panties then and there. you never actually dropped them (that could easily change if he so asked), but you were pretty much hanging on to them for dear life every afternoon.
and in response to your compliment, nanami would only chuckle nervously before shutting the door behind him to change in the closet. an ugly feeling would blossom in your chest every time at his lack of enthusiam or reciprocation to your desire, though you never let the thought spiral.
a few minutes later, your lips remained glued to his, passionately making out against the counter while continuing your adventure around his body, never straying below his belt.
nanami felt dizzy as he finally pushed away to take a breath. usually he was quite good at keeping up with your ineffable needs — he placed the blame on his depletion from work.
a groan involuntarily escapes him as you lower your lips to suck beneath his jawline, bound to leave a mark. "my love, what's got you so worked up?" he inquires with closed eyes, tilting his head up to give you further access.
you hum in approval of the action, sucking even harder. "told you, i missed you."
before you could stop to think, your hand that was once on his abs instinctively moved lower to rest just above his bulge, and then everything stopped.
with a shaky clear of his throat, nanami pushes off the counter, forcing you to back away while his hands drop to his beige dress pants.
your brows furrow. "what-"
"i'm gonna take a shower." his eyes avert, adam’s apple bobbing smoothly.
not another word follows as your boyfriend paces to the apartment's shared bedroom, leaving you to drown in your cynical thoughts.
if u wanna be tagged comment/send an ask! srry this is short but the full fic is much longer!!! i am like 3/4 done! i js procrastinate writing the smut (also the reason part 2 of my gojo fic is taking forever) T-T
read virgin gojo while u wait <3
#inmaki#jjk smut#jjk fluff#jjk fics#jujutsu kaisen drabbles#jujutsu kaisen imagines#jujutsu kaisen smut#jujustsu kaisen x reader#jujutsu kaisen fluff#jujutsu nanami#jjk nanami#nanami x reader#nanami smut#nanami fluff#nanami fics#nanami kento#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#nanami kento smut#nanami kento fluff#nanami kento fic#jjk x female reader#jjk fic#jujutsu kaisen fic#nanami fanfic#nanami x you#nanami x y/n#kento smut#jjk kento#kento x reader
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Would you be alright to ask how you found out that you had executive function disorder?
Basically my entire life I have been known as a serial procrastinator without any real explanation. When I was a kid I had a lot of trouble taking care of basic things, and I would constantly shirk chores and school assignments and really anything in between, but if you actually asked me why that happened it was never because I didn't want to do them. It even extended beyond obligations. I still remember not quite understanding why I couldn't ever finish drawing a comic, or start a long-term project and see it through to the end. I would start fanfiction and then just leave it within the first few paragraphs. I literally had no reason, and in fact it always sincerely frustrated me that I just couldn't bring myself to do things that should be really easy. I genuinely believed for my entire childhood that I was just kinda lazy and I held on to a lot of guilt for that. Of course, the problem really started to settle in a new way once I realized that I was in my early 20s, living on my own, with every reason to have grown out of it by now, but it still never got any better. I still struggled with doing things that I knew would only take a couple of minutes, I still ached over projects that I had no reason to not just start making but couldn't quite pull myself over the barrier towards actually doing it. And I still had no explanation that wasn't just "I am fundamentally broken and unexceptional". So, once I was living on my own and the problems really started to compound (since, yknow, not getting anything done holds A LOT MORE WEIGHT when you're an independent adult), I decided to look for other people who were going through these things and see how they managed it. I eventually ended up on a YouTube channel called How To ADHD where the host made a plethora of videos that all just instantly clicked with me and seemed to explain so much behavior stretching back all the way to my childhood that I NEVER had an explanation for. Everything she talked about was like, one-to-one my experiences. So then I basically immediately started the process of actually getting an official ADHD diagnosis, which I have now since gotten Twice.
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she's the man * vr dts special
what does netflix have to say about the first and only woman to make it on the grid in almost 2 decades?
warnings: danica patrick jumpscares
notes: hi im procrastinating my assignment that's due tomorrow so i'm making this for you guys <3 and this is so...? poorly written is what i'm trying to say bye
[will buxton] there is a new team on the grid: andretti's appeal to be the 11th team on the grid was approved early last year. there was a lot of talk about who they could hire in their driver lineup. nobody expected sebastian vettel, who literally just retired from being an f1 driver, to be stepping into the shoes of a race engineer. and to take a chance on a rookie driver...
what did you want me to say? she looks down at the clapperboard that's been handed over to her, lifting it up and down as she tries to ease her nervousness. [producer] introduce yourself first and we'll take it step by step from here. she nods and presses her lips together with a smile. hi. i'm driving for andretti racing for the 2023 season and i am the first female on the grid in almost 20 years.
[sebastian vettel] i... you know, i realised i have nothing to do if i don't race. so i took up the job with one exception – they allow a rookie into the team.
-> bahrain, 2023
she smiles, tapping her card onto the reader. she just waves at the crew ahead of her, cameras held up and lenses pointed directly at her as she walks alongside logan and oscar.
i'm a little nervous, of course – i didn't think i'd get this far. in all honestly, i thought f2 was the furthest i'd get when it came to racing. but i'm lucky. sebastian is taking a big gamble putting me in an f1 car this year.
[danica patrick] a woman in f1? i don't expect that will go well overall. does she even have the aggressiveness to be driving alongside these men who, for them, things like these come naturally.
-> abu dhabi, 2022
"well, would you look at that? the sole woman on the grid has made it to the podium. and that would," there's a pause from crofty, taking a deep breath as a smile spreads his lips, "award her as a runner-up in the drivers' championship slightly ahead of liam lawson. she's driven amazing all year round and it's just a wonder if she will ever make it further than formula 2 if she can produce these results at this level of racing."
[susie wolff] she's amazing behind the wheel. toto and i have watched a couple of her races over the years. it's an experience to have her around every weekend beside big household names like lewis hamilton and max verstappen. if her team can give her a good enough car to produce massive results, or she outperforms everyone's expectations this year, it could be very telling for the sport. and it sure opens a lot of opportunities for new generations of racers to come.
[sebastian vettel] well, she produces the results you'd want in a race car driver. i'd like to change the course of things around here, so there was no question that i'd vouch for her to get in a car with the best of the best. she's been in an f1 car before – with haas a while ago – so there's really not much worry about how she'll do this year. she just needs a good car to start.
[claire williams] nothing wrong with taking a chance on a rookie. but as a new team in the sport, you'd want to prove to everyone that you fought rightfully so for your spot as a new addition to the pitlane.
-> bahrain, 2023
she stands at the back of the garage. the camera zooms into the girl toying with the neckline of her fireproofs. she presses her lips together as sebastian talks to her. "so you're starting p18 tomorrow."
"oh." she looks down at the ground and purses her lips together. "well i told you: the car still felt a little difficult in the braking zones earlier. that was the best i could do without burying myself into a barrier."
"yeah, of course. that just means you'll have to work a little extra tomorrow during the race," sebastian grins. he places his hand on her shoulder to shake her gently. "you did your best today. don't even worry about it. you'll come back stronger tomorrow."
"of course. i didn't get this far just to fumble the bag at my first race."
[danica patrick] qualifying p18 as a rookie and as the sole woman in the sport... it's not a good look for either herself or the people who decided to take a chance on her.
"and that's the checkered flag. p11," sebastian says into her ears.
she sighs as she slows the car down for a cool-down lap. she lets out an exasperated sigh, shaking her head. "i could have pushed a little more to get better results. i'm sorry."
"ah, you finished ahead of a lot of people and you climbed 7 places on the track. it's a good first race."
[will buxton] right now, it seems that not everyone is fond of having a woman on the grid. that's very prominent in the fan side of things. but a lot of people are forgetting that she raced with some of the big names that people know today and was on par with them in the results growing up.
[oscar piastri] well, we go way back. you know, growing up karting together and constantly being in competition with one another, i think really encouraged her to stay in the sport. when we moved up to f3 from formula renault, she kinda got left behind to stay. so when i was poached by prema to race into f2, i suggested that they give her a chance.
well, i was up there fighting with oscar and logan, and occasionally liam, for good results during karting races and eventually in formula renault. the only disadvantage i had compared to them was that i'm a girl. you know, growing up, i would constantly be told that i wouldn't get very far cause this is a boy's sport. that really does discourage you from wanting and thinking that i'd get into official leagues, but i owe it to my best friends for pushing me to dream bigger and retain the passion i had for racing.
[logan sargeant] i mean... she kinda did hand me my ass every single time we were out on the track. if that doesn't tell people that she's a good racer, i'm unsure what will.
[zak brown] it was, truthfully, down to her and oscar for who should come in and drive for mclaren. but we weren't sure if the risks to bring her in would be worth it. so we went with the safer option.
[james vowles] i know a couple different teams – i'm definitely not namedropping – who were eyeing her for her performance last year. prema did a very good job marketing her as their driver as well so there's an extra factor. she's lovely.
-> australia, 2023
"oh, andretti's rookie passes the flag ahead of the alpha tauri and puts her in the points!" there's cheering in the grandstands, and nobody can believe their eyes at the results of the purple race car. "you see it here first – she is the first woman, in decades, to score points to formula 1"
"that's p9! there's your first points in formula 1!"
"oh? oh my fucking god! i did it!"
scoring your first points as a formula 1 driver... it's a very big feat as a rookie. but it means even more when you're in my position.
she runs to where sebastian stands, helmet in her hands. she screams as her team erupts in cheers at the sight of her sprinting towards them and she pumps her fists into the air.
"i did it!" she screams, immediately surrounded by the personnel clad in the bright andretti purple. "i scored my first points!"
she's seen in the middle of their makeshift circle, thrown around by her team as they bask in their first achievement in the sport and of the year. she's seen with tears running down her cheeks briefly before sebastian pulls her in for a very tight hug.
"i told you everything will be fine. you just had to be patient, kid."
[sebastian vettel] scoring points alone is already a step in the right direction. now we just need to focus on being consistent race after race.
-> azerbaijan, 2023
"there's a yellow flag here in lap 40. we're waiting to hear who it was caused by," the camera pans to the car head first into the barriers at a turn, "and it seems to be an andretti."
when you crash front first out of a turn, it's like the rudest jumpscare a person could have. it's nothing to do with the car – it was straight up a driver error.
[sebastian vettel] no driver wants to crash their car during a race and then admit to the whole world that it was their fault. especially when you're in her position, you know? the statement she released and choosing to be honest about it being a driver error – it was her decision to handle it that way. personally... he giggles with a smile. i wouldn't have done that.
[will buxton] she only seems to be getting better and better every single weekend.
-> monaco, 2023
"that's another finish in the points, kid. good race. that's p5 for you."
"thank you. the car felt great this weekend."
-> singapore, 2023
"here we have the andretti rookie in her engineer and mentor's arms, on a very historical evening. she has just scored her first podium this weekend at the singapore grand prix."
she jumps as she's in sebastian's arms, her face buried in his chest. she is seen pulling away slightly from him and he grabs her face, "amazing– you were amazing, kid! congratulations!"
tears, again, roll down her cheeks as she nods at his statement. her chest heaves as she cries. "thank you. oh, my goodness. thank you."
"there's no words. just that you were amazing this weekend."
a hand lands on her back. she turns around and covers her face as she fights the biggest grin. "you beat me in f1, mate!"
the australian accent fills her ears as he congratulates her. oscar takes her into his arms, resting his chin on her shoulder as they lock themselves in a tight embrace. he rubs circles on her back. "congrats on the podium, mate."
[danica patrick] now they're in a weird spot. oscar, on one hand, has been backed by mark webber for years. his best friend is racing under sebastian vettel. everybody knows those two don't get along – is it possible that it could reflect on their friendship as well?
-> silverstone, 2023
"overtake available." her andretti, slowly inches towards the mclaren of oscar's up ahead. "whenever you see fit."
"what's the gap?" oscar huffs, head snapping over to his side mirror briefly.
"0.2."
at the next turn, she takes a big lunge on the inside of the track to go ahead of oscar.
"there's a bit of fighting at the midfield here between a mclaren and an andretti. oscar piastri, however, does not let her go. he is still fighting to hopefully finish ahead of her in today's race."
"keep the pace. try to shake oscar off, he's still close behind you."
"noted."
racing on the track with oscar? nothing i haven't done before.
[oscar piastri] she's always been great at keeping up and being a challenging competitor on the track.
[logan sargeant] she's very fast on and off the track. i rarely beat her in racing... so...
"oscar piastri takes the checkered flag behind the andretti, failing to fight with the incredible pace the new car has shown this weekend."
in parc ferme, the girl takes her helmet off, turning around sharply to the man in papaya orange as he lifts himself out of the car. "good fight, mate."
"good fight," oscar smiles. they share a quick hug before the younger girl briefly runs away from him to approach logan further down the lane.
[danica patrick] we've seen what the sport does to friends. it does not matter how long you've been friends – it will eventually catch up to you and everybody involved.
-> austin, 2023
"the andretti finished in p5 and logan sargeant has just been promoted to p10 following the disqualification of charles leclerc and lewis hamilton. oscar, however, retires from the race following a crash with esteban ocon."
i don't beat oscar often – so whenever the rarity comes up, i take it with open arms.
"ah, screw you mate," oscar laughs, throwing his arms around the younger girl once again. "good finish."
she flips her hair as she pulls away and bats her eyelashes. "what can i say? i'm made for formula 1."
[sebastian vettel] they're sweet kids. i don't think there is any animosity between them. they lived together while they karted weekend after weekend. they're used to it... i think.
we've fought about things like these growing up. oh, for sure. we're both the oldest siblings – so the competition never ends between us.
[oscar piastri] she is very competitive. she's only fair when it comes to racing on the track though. everything else, she finds a way to come out on top.
-> oxford, 2023 (winter break)
"i won."
logan turns to look at her, eyebrows furrowed. "no, you didn't."
now stood up, the girl looked down at logan with a mirrored bewildered expression on her face. "yes, i did."
"no," logan repeats with his eyebrows raised, "you did not."
she clenches her jaw. "yes, i did."
"dude." logan turns to look at oscar, sitting across the table from them. their gazes all land on the card that she puts in the middle. "that's a yellow card that you coloured over with red marker. you lost – just admit it."
"what do you mean? that's a legit card." she lifts it up and reveals to the camera a card that's been poorly coloured red with some scratches that reveal the authenticity of the yellow that logan had just pointed out.
[logan sargeant] she's such a sore loser.
-> abu dhabi, 2023
"that's the andretti of the rookie driver crossing the finish line in p4, and that puts her in 6th place in the driver's championship. we might just be at the start of history being made, folks."
[sebastian vettel] what can i say? i'm never wrong with who i place my bets on.
[danica patrick] she proved a lot of people wrong this year, including me. she is an exciting up and coming driver.
she shrugs with a smug grin on her face. oh, i'm here to stay, babes.
andretti has secured her with a multi-year contract with the team – she will be racing under them until 2028.
the clapperboard clicks loudly, a man sits there with a cheeky grin as he stares into the camera. i'm liam lawson and i'm now an andretti race car driver. see you on the track in 2024.
– bonus
"aw, mate! they totally twisted that whole scene up!" she scoffs, throwing a small pillow at the tv screen. "dalton was the one that coloured that uno card in. not me!"
oscar turns to her. "yet you still used it despite the fact that we agreed to not use it in games anymore."
"the game would not have been fair if we were missing one card!"
logan scoffs. "we let you win, anyway."
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#logan sargeant x reader#oscar piastri x reader#sebastian vettel x reader#fem!driver#female driver#f1 fem!driver#f1 female driver#vettel reincarnate#disneyprincemuke#disneyprincemuke imagine#disneyprincemuke imagines#disneyprincemuke f1#disneyprincemuke vr#formula 1 x reader#f1 x reader#f1 grid x reader
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workaholic..
#🌙.vents#nearly the end of the sem n though i do have a habit of procrastinating when i start getting things done i#really Really get it done properly.#i can rlly be a bit of a workaholic#i didn't sleep at all last night.. i napped for a few hours though n save for feeling slightly drowsy#for the most part i'm not sleepy#i don't think i'll be able to sleep at all as well tonight bcs until i finish my parts for the thematic analysis & the table for our#article we picked in the rrl i don't think i can let myself rest fr my brain won't shut down#my account is such a mess.. n there's so much i want to do so much i have to do but. ://#i shldn't neglect myself n my health n all but#hfkladjfskldfjadskf 🥹#hypocritical of me to tell others to take care of themselves when i can't even do that myself#i just need to get my assignments done then. the christmas break is so soon i can rest#maybe. i don't think i can really rest from my mind but i can at least take a break from school for a bit#but that's enough rambling i can do more later#utterly disappointed in myself if only i#i dunno.#god i'm wasting my time i'll just do my assignments n block my head out#for now at least. for this last week#forget everything else n just lose myself here in my work
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>>based on this ask<<
pairing: mattheo riddle x fem!reader (no house specified)
warning(s): 18+ content, oral (f receiving), our boy's insatiable, fingering, overstimulation, no plot just smut
The room was thick with the scent of sex and the sounds that he had been ripping from you for what felt like hours. After a particularly grueling quidditch game, Mattheo had sought out your calming presence and had dragged you away from your friends the moment he had laid his dark, onyx eyes on you.
Your head was buzzing from the sheer pleasure he was giving you, tossing from side to side against the soft, silk pillows of his bed, fingers digging into the fabric of the deep green sheets. He was feasting on you like a man starved; like you were the first meal he'd had after years of starvation.
As you whined and moaned, he drew another earth shattering orgasm from you, humming into your warm, overstimulated cunt as he lapped up the result of your most explosive release of the evening.
"Matt- Mattheo please! I can't go again! Please." you begged as he slipped in two fingers and began thrusting them with a brutal pace. Your hands flew to his head, grasping the unruly curls as you fought with the pain and pleasure of either pushing him away or pulling him closer. He only muttered incoherently into you, completely drunk off of your taste.
Mattheo was practically making out with your pussy; kissing, lapping, sucking away, creating obscene sounds that would have you embarrassed, if you weren't so far gone. He groaned at your taste, the reverberations causing your eyes to roll back into your head, hips jerking up in the air, in an effort to push him off or encourage him for more, you didn't know; the room was beginning to spin. He wrapped one arm around your hips to keep you pinned to the bed and switched between harsh sucks and flicking at your overly sensitive clit.
The pleasure was all too much and not enough at the same time. You moaned his name aloud and began to rake your hands through his hair, something that turned him on without fail. But you'd been overstimulated beyond belief and you could feel the edges of your hazy vision darkening with each sensual stroke of Mattheo's fingers and tongue. After you delivered a particularly harsh tug, he tutted and lifted his head from between your legs. The look he delivered had you shrinking into the matress; he had a devilish look on his face, one that you wouldn't dare argue against.
“Yank my hair like that again and I won’t touch you for a month.” he rasped, voice low and full of arousal. You whined as he delivered a sharp slap to your inner thigh, legs closing on instinct, but he ripped them open in response.
"Don't be like that, sweetheart." he mumbled, pressing kisses from your clit and up your naval until he reached your pebbled breasts, tweaking each nipple harshly with his fingers, prompting a pained whine from your swollen lips. "Need to prep you for my cock, remember."
He pressed bruising kisses along the collumn of your neck and only teased his lips against your's lightly before he was at the apex of your thighs once more. "Now be good and lie there all pretty for me."
He went back to his previous ministrations, your body aflame with the overwhelming pleasure that the overstimulation brought. As you whined and moaned his name, he traced featherlight circles along your thighs with his fingers. Soothing and loving, as he always was with you, despite the juxtaposition of his harsh ministrations on your pussy.
"Good girl, that's it. Relax for me." he mumbled into you as he continued to devour you. Despite the twinges of pain, the pleasure soon took over and you revelled in the feelings that the boy never failed to bring to you; only him.
~∞~
currently procrastinating my last uni assignment which is due tomorrow by writing this and watching shadow & bone 🙃🙃🙃🙃
hope you guys had a lovely christmas, and a happy new year (i will be popping a bottle of prosecco open with my mum and dad later lol)
i'm also working on the next chapter for serendipity :)
#mattheo riddle x you#mattheo riddle smut#mattheo riddle x reader#mattheo riddle#mattheo x you#mattheo x y/n#mattheoxreader
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Hello yes,, another seb smut request :] I absolutely LOVEEDD the last fic u wrote and now I require more HGHDHFJF
Mabye like a really steamy makeout session with seb in his shop that ends up going further? But he has two tounges (///.//.///) so it's extra freakyyy,,
Preferably with a side of more degrading and breeding kink,, also, if your up for it,, maybe some oviposition?
Pairing•[Sebastian Solace x hybrid fishy! Gn reader?]
Warnings• 18+ No minors, but I'm not your mom so consume your own content, ovi kink, double tongue, double cock, breath play, breeding kink, blood, wounds?, not prof read
A/N• Okay, so, like, sorry for taking so long on this 😭 I've been so busy!! Anyway, I tried to make it gender neutral as possible. I'm also sorry for how short and bad this is. I really rushed it because I've been procrastinating on this. I also need to organize all my stuff on here as well. Flip. I also don't know why reader is a fish hybrid, I totally forgot what I was gonna do with that
Word count• 1.4K
Heavy pants ringed through your ears as you pushed open hell saving door fifty. Clutching your side blood staining your hand, a giant gash layed on your side. Labored breaths seethed out of your clenched teeth as you gripped onto your side, attempting to apply pressure and because it hurt like hell. With a prayer, the vent up ahead pushed open with a snicker lingering in it. It was your trusted friend, well more of your only friend here, Sebastian. The weird fishy hybrid eel thing. . you didn't really know exactly what DNA was in him, just that he was a weird hybrid thing that sold you items. Nothing more, nothing less.
Crawing through the vent with a hiss due to the new position of having to crawl, tail dragging behind you. Red drops from the gash beneath your hand, leaving a small trail in wake. A small gasp leaving your mouth as you stood up, heaving. Suddenly your vision getting hazy finally came to you, how much blood have you lost? Glancing down to your wound, your whole hand was dripping red. The only noise you could focus on was the soft dripping of the crimson droplets hitting the metal like floor, your ear fins fanned back uncomfortably.
Due to your carelessness and not being careful about the doors you went into, you've waltz into at least one of the "Good People's" doors, maybe a few too close encounters with Angler leaving scratches on you. Everything was too fuzzy to remember, or feel? Looking up you finally notice Sebastians worried facial expression, and when where you sat on top of this table? A uncomfortable groan left you as Sebastian tightly wrapped bandages around your exposed wound. When did he take off my diving gear? Your eyebrows furrowed in glazed confusion, what was even happening? With your vision beginning to fade out, you slumped forward into Sebastians arms opting out on falling back against the hard metal wall.
The uncomfortableness of the cold metal against your bare skin and the stinging pain in your side sturs you awake. Hissing through your teeth you sit up, quickly realizing you arnt in your diving gear instead being in the bare essentials. The coldness was something you never could adjust to properly after being fused with some randome fish DNA the scientists excluded from telling you. Glancing down to your side you realize it's bandaged up, already becoming a light pink colour. A rough "Ahem." brings your attention to infront of you, Sebastian is in his normal spot in the corner. "How are you feeling?" His voice laced with distaste at the fact he even asked that, his eyes are squinted at you analytically.
"I'm. . fine." Your voice comes out warily, feeling uncomfortable under his unwelcoming gaze. A small hum leaves Sebastian in acknowledgement, awkward silence quickly fills in the room. The situation just being unusual between you too, and the fact you were practically half naked infront of him. Truly embarrassing stuff. You wince into yourself at the stinging pain to your side, analyzing your coverd wound once again. "You know. . I could take your mind off the pain. If you wanted." Sebastian voice made you look up once again, this time in confusion. "What. . What do you mean?" Voice laced with unease as his gaze becomes more predatorial like.
With him standing at the end of the table he easily grabs ahold of your ankles, firm hands slowly gliding up your exposed flesh pulling your pelvis flush to his waist. "You know. . just another way for you to repay for my services. Gotta pay for that medkit I used on you anyways, plus you staying in my hideout? A large fee you owe. ." He trails off. His gaze boreing into you as if trying to burn right through you. "Right.." His hands leave goosebumps in wake of his trail, finally firmly resting on your hips. Two tongues simultaneously slip out of his mouth as he leans forward. Your eyes widen slighty at the fact he has two, mouth agap slighty in awe. Sebastian takes this opportunity and connects his mouth with yours.
Two of the silky appendages explore your mouth, wrapping around your tongue. Eyes closing in bliss, hands coming up and wrapping around his neck deepining the kiss. His tongues threaten to go deeper into your throat, teasingly he slithers them further slowly making you let out a choked whimper. One of his hands come up to your throat choking you, starting out softly but quickly roughing it up to barley suffocating squeezing. With air becoming scarce for you, you grip onto the back of his neck hoping he'll get the idea. Your vision quickly begins to blur with no oxygen getting to you. Weakly squirming under him hoping to free yourself.
As your vision begins to fade and your wiggling slows he leans back, letting go of your throat. Taking in a sharp breath, feeling your heart skip a beat as your vision finally regains to its full. Sebastian chuckles as he looks down at you panting, your grip on him tightens as you finally calm down, but that was short lived as you feel two rather big appendages wiggle against your thigh. You feel your breath hitch in your throat as you see he has two cocks instead of one. The one that slithers it's way on the top of your stomach is much bigger and more thicker rather than the one that's under your thigh, it's still pretty big but the bottom is more thicker than the tip.
With a quick thrust of his hips a low groan emmits from him. With two of his hands gripping your midsection and his other grabbing your ankle, hoisting it over his shoulder as he leans in closer to you, mouth connecting once more. His bigger tentacle like cock slithers under your underwear, withoit any prep or warning he quickly juts his hips into you, cock easily slipping inside with how slick you already were. Tears prick the corners of your eyes at the stinging pain of him stretching you out, but after a few more thrusts the pain turned into pleasure. Moaning into the heated kiss, the feeling of his tongue fucking your mouth draws you closer to the edge, the familiar tightening feeling forms in your stomach.
As Sebastian leans back for air he reposting himself so his chest is flush against yours, he grabs the back of your thighs pushing them up. With this new angle he pushes himself impossibly deeper, hitting spots you never knew existed. Your arms tangle around his neck pushing his face into the crook of your neck. His tongues slither out giving a few little licks before harshly biting down, seemingly grounding himself as he does a few more harsh thrusts into the spot making your head feel dizzy. With a final thrust you feel something pushing its way inside you, Sebastians body stiffens with a groan as his jaw slacks against your shoulder. His nails dig into the flesh of your thighs as he stills inside you. You whimper at the unfamiliar feeling of being filled up, a intrusion pushing past your cervix. Eyes furrowing in slight discomfort as you cling onto Sebastian, his rough panting, licks, and soft nips against your shoulder distract you from the pain.
He pulls out with a low groan, your stomach has a soft bump from all the eggs he pushed into you. A surprised whimper left your throat as you feel a his other slick tentacle wiggle against your entrance. He easily pushed inside once again, giving a few shallow thrusts before roughly pushing himself all the way. Moaning at the feeling of being impossible full, he ruts into you as he rides through both of your highs. He stays inside of you for a moment, catching his breath. His hand comes up and be runs his fingers through your hair, tips of his nails rubbing against your scalp comfortably. He let's your legs down slowly letting them lay on either side of his waist. His face still nuzzled into your neck as the movements of his hands slowly still until soft breathing can be heard from him. You glance down and realize he fell asleep, exhaustion quickly becomes evident to you as your eyes close with ease and you drift off to sleep holding onto Sebastian.
#🦝fic💤#🦝kobraaaah💤#🦝cobraaah💤#sebastian solace x reader smut#sebastian solace smut#sebastian solace x reader#sebastian solace
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it's time.
mapi leon x child
new story is here!
as always, hope you enjoy this (new) story and please let me know what you think!
for some reason i only ever get inspiration during uni semester! which is great because i study a really demanding degree and i just had 6 weeks off in which i wrote nothing and now i am procrastinating my physiology modules and prehab exercises :) :)
enjoy :)
~~~~~~
There was a knock on the door.
"Mapi!" Alexia's voice was distinct, and the girl recognised it immediately. She knocked again. "Open the door!"
She looked over at the figure on the sofa, eyes closed, hand resting on the head of the little black cat.
She looked over at the door, where she knew her Ale was standing, waiting for the door to open.
She toddled over to the door, almost losing her balance as she stepped up onto the step by the door and unlocking the door, her hands immediately clinging onto the step's handle to stabilise her small body.
The door opened slowly, and the brunette looked confused for a moment before looking down at the unstable toddler.
"Isabel, mi chica!" Alexia's arms were strong and easily scooped the toddler up and onto her hip. "What are you doing at the door?"
"Hola, Ale!" She planted a sloppy kiss on the woman's cheek, wrapping her arms around her neck.
"Where is Mami?"
"Sleeping! Bagheera." She pointed over to where her mother was splayed across the sofa cushions, the black cat also snoozing away under Mapi's hand.
"Are you supposed to be napping, Isa?" Alexia's hand moved to the toddler's curly hair, stroking it back and out of her face.
"Not sleepy." She yawned into Alexia's neck, and the brunette woman chuckled.
"Not sleepy?" She moved to sit beside where Mapi was napping, beginning to repeatedly poke her leg.
"Is, stop, Mami is sleeping." The blonde murmured groggily, shifting as she stirred from her sleep.
Alexia chuckled, her hand retreating back into her lap.
"Time to wake up, Mapi."
The blonde's eyes opened slowly, her hand coming up to her face as she slowly figured out that it was Alexia sitting beside her.
"Ale? What are you doing here?"
The older Spaniard shook her head, looking back at the toddler in her arms.
"Your Mami is so silly sometimes, Isabel! So silly!" She tickled her sides, and the baby squealed in laughter, falling back onto Alexia. "You have to come in today, Jonatan asked me to check in on you because he didn't believe your excuse. We have media, and even if you don't want to be in it, you have to come and meet the new signings. It's time, Mapi."
Mapi groaned, pulling the pillow over the face.
"Why didn't he believe me? I am clearly sick!" She put her elbow in front of her mouth and coughed into it weakly, looking up at Alexia persuasively. Safe to say she was disappointed by her friend's exasperated eye roll and lack of sympathy.
"You're coming, Mapi. Go get ready and I'll fix up Is to take her too because I presume you haven't organised her Nanny to come?" Mapi shook her head, sighing lightly. "I'll get her ready."
"Ale, please. I really, really don't want to go. Surely it's not time yet?"
Alexia thought Mapi was going to break down on the spot right then and there, but as quickly as her facial expressions fell, they lifted back up again when the brunette placed her arm around her shoulder.
"It is, Mapi. You've spent too much time here, you need to get back into it. This one's 14 months now and you've done such a good job." She squeezed Isabel's sides, smiling down at her tiny frame. "But now you have to go back to your other job."
"I've done my training, I've gone to the gym. I just don't think I can start again, Alexia."
"So you want to quit?"
Mapi looked at her in shock, gasping quietly.
"What? No! I don't want to quit! I love football."
Alexia smiled softly.
"When better to go back for the first time on a media day, no pressure to perform, nothing. I know you've been training, that you are healthy and have a good level of fitness. What's stopping you from returning to the team environment?"
She sighed, staring straight ahead as her eyes filled with tears, willing them to go away. Adamant that she wouldn't let a single tear fall from her eyes.
"I'll come. But Ale, this won't be easy for me, you know that. If I want to leave, I want to be able to."
Alexia nodded, standing up from her spot on the couch.
"Of course, Mapi. I've told you before and I will tell you again, everything you do is at your own pace. Just give it a try, for me. Don't give up before we even get there. Maybe seeing everyone will give you that bit of motivation, you can't tell me it didn't help last time."
Mapi nodded, Alexia was right.
It's been two months since Mapi saw the rest of the team, right after Isabel's first birthday. It had been a long year of taking care of a tiny baby while also mourning the loss of her best friend.
The girls loved the baby, finally seeing the girl that they had sent countless gifts to, doting over the adorable one year old who had no idea what heartbreak her mother was going through.
But what had surprised Mapi was that most of her teammates were more worried about the defender than her child, hugging her tightly and telling her how much they missed her, loved her and were there for her.
Mapi had cried that night, the realisation that maybe people did care settling on her shoulders, guilt overwhelming her as she registered that she hadn't reached out to a single on of them in a year.
When she discussed this with Alexia a week later, the brunette had told her to stop being silly. They were a family, apparently. They would always be there for one another.
~~~~~~
Nerves settled deep in Mapi's stomach as she sat in the back of Alexia's car, staring out at the familiar roads as they drove to the training grounds. Isabel was content in her seat beside her as she babbling away at the streets, Alexia chuckling at her goddaughter.
When they arrived, Mapi was quick to unclip the baby, walking around to the opposite door to scoop her up into her arms and holding her close as they walked towards the entrance.
"They said we only have to be there for a couple hours, max. There's a bit of media, they thought it could be a good time to reintroduce you, assuming you want to come back this season. Then we have three new incomings, although one is Irene, who most of us obviously know. The other two are from Scandinavia. Fridolina Rolfo from Sweden and Ingrid Engen from Norway. Fridolina is an attacking midfielder and Ingrid is a central defensive midfielder, both from Wolfsburg..."
Alexia dove deep into an analysis of the two Wolfsburg players that Mapi easily zoned out of, instead focusing on what she was about to do.
It was weird, walking back into this place after such a long time. A place that used to be like home, she never thought twice about stepping through those doors.
But she could count on her hands the amount of times she had walked into the training campus in the past 18 months, simply preferring to get trained at a private gym or a private field, closer to home and further from the overwhelmingly familiar Barcelona grounds.
She was expecting to be heckled as soon as they entered, but only Jonatan was in the foyer and he quickly embraced her and pulled her into his office as Alexia turned left to the media room.
"She is adorable, Mapi."
Jonatan sat down on the sofa in his office, motioning for Mapi to follow him. Mapi smiled down at her baby who was happily fiddling with her toy lion.
"Thank you."
"Is this it? Are you ready to come back?"
Mapi shrugged lightly.
"I want to be, but I'm not sure, really. It has been a hard year and I don't know what to do with this one if I train every day, playing games every weekend. She is still only little."
Jonatan nods, hesitating before responding.
"Everything we do will be at your pace and you have all the support you need. We can find someone to watch her, she can come here or go to your place. We can do anything, you name it. We have all missed you a lot, and I think I speak for the whole team when I say we would be thrilled if you decided to start coming back, becoming fit again."
"I am fit. I have trained a lot, every day. I have rehabbed with the specialists, done their exercises every day, I've been in the gym every day, getting stronger, I go down to the local pitch at least four times a week with the trainer. My fitness is not the problem, it's just me. My brain, I think."
He nods again, understanding written all over his face.
"We have a psychologist if you want to see her. Apparently she is brilliant."
Mapi shrugs.
"I don't think she would be able to help me. I am just sad. Overwhelmed, maybe. A bit scared, sure. I have no trouble naming my emotions, I just am bad at dealing with them healthily."
It was the truth. Mapi knew what she was feeling but she had no idea how to make it better. Seeing a psychologist wouldn't take away her grief, her fear or her stress, so what was the point?
"I would recommend the psychologist, even if it's just for one session. Everyone who sees her loves her."
She shrugs again.
"I'll consider it."
They dive into the logistics of returning, as well as how they should tackle the inevitable media storm when she appears on the clubs social media again. Apparently, Alexia suggested just to put them in an interview together to preview the upcoming season. She told the club to not make any sort of deal about the return, in an attempt to make it as seamless as possible.
Their meeting finished with an agreement, and Jonatan wished the defender luck as she left, heading towards the media room where the rest of the team should be busy.
"Isabel!" Leila was the first person to notice the duo entering, dropping the paper she held and rushing over to hug Mapi.
"Y mi Maria. Ale said not to make a big deal out of it, but Mapi, I am so so so happy to see you here again."
She released Mapi from the hug, keeping her hands firmly on the defender's shoulders.
"I'm proud of you, and you should be proud of yourself too."
Mapi just smiled, setting Isabel down on the floor and watching carefully as she waddled over towards Alexia. She avoided eye contact to prevent herself from becoming emotional, instead flashing a quick smile at Leila, nodding softly.
"Thanks Leila. It's good to see you, sorry I haven't been the greatest friend recently." Her eyes remained glued to the back of her daughter's head, so she didn't see Leila's entire face and body soften.
"No, no. I should have tried harder. I can't imagine what you were going through."
Truthfully, the fullback and a lot of other teammates carried a substantial guilt over their shoulders, but there was nothing they could do about it anymore.
Not after Alexia had arrived to training raging 9 months ago, telling them they were awful friends, that Mapi was struggling and had received almost no support from any of them.
Just because Mapi asked to be left alone, doesn't mean she actually wanted to be left alone, Alexia had said.
They put in more effort after that, but the damage was done and Mapi still struggled to let anyone but Alexia in.
Isabel, on the other hand, was having a ball as her godmother carried her around the room, introducing her to different people.
"This is Patri and Pina, Isa, say hello!"
Isabel giggled, pointing at Patri.
"Patri!" Her hand moved to Pina. "Pina! Hola!" She waved, her hand floppy and a silly smile smacked on her face.
The three footballers smiled at her sincerity, Patri speaking up first.
"I know who you are! You are adorable, baby Leon, and you look just like your Mami."
Isabel beamed, turning to look up at Alexia.
"Mi Mami!"
"Yes, you look just like her, lion cub."
They remained stationed at Patri and Pina for a while, the young striker and her older friend entertaining the baby as she sat mesmerised by their rowdy and outgoing nature, their light banter was something she had rarely been exposed to.
Mapi on the other hand was shaking as she watched her daughter in Alexia's arms, entirely unable to concentrate on her. Her mind was consumed by the looming thought of her return. The overwhelmingly terrifying return.
She was returned to her mother's arms right before Alexia and Mapi had to go and do media, a soft kiss placed on her head before she was handed off to an excited Leila.
The interview, while a good way to ease into it, would undoubtedly create an entire storm in the media and Mapi wasn't sure she wanted to see her life and decisions picked apart, analysed and judged by thousands of people who knew nothing about her and nothing about anything she had been through over the past 15 months.
Alexia's arm on her back was grounding, guiding her to the correct room and easing the overwhelming worry that surged through her, if only just a little bit.
"It will be over before you know it. And then you wait a few days, turn off your phone when it is released. You can slowly start coming back to training, and by the time we have to interact with fans, it will have calmed down. I will be right there through it all and so will everyone else in that room."
Mapi was surprised, however, when she sat down in front of the cameras and was briefed about the interview. She was expecting a serious video, previewing the season ahead. Instead, they were doing superlatives, something that Mapi didn't know if she was comfortable with.
Sure, she's played with this team for years and she knows them all well, but it has been a long time since she's actually played with them. What if things have changed? What if she embarrasses herself.
"And Mapi, we will release this video in a few days, and hopefully people will take the hint that we aren't making a big deal about your return."
A naive statement that made Mapi want to scoff, but she stopped herself and nodded politely instead.
But, she did the interview with Alexia, acting as if nothing was wrong and the midfielder couldn't believe that the person beside her was the same person that had practically looked green not 10 minutes ago.
"Hola! I am Mapi Leon and this is Alexia Putellas! Welcome to superlatives!"
~~~~~~
Completely oblivious to the stress her mother was going through, Isabel was placed in Mapi's cubby as the team got ready for training, completely occupied by the toy lion she was playing with.
"And who's that, Isabel?"
Leila sat down beside the toddler as soon as she was changed, her socks and boots in her hand as she looked at Isabel.
"Leon! My lion."
The defender chuckled, placing her hand on Isabel's head.
"And you like to play with your lion?"
She nodded, holding the toy out towards Leila, who grabbed it, imitating a lion sound to the child. Isabel squealed with laughter, copying the fullback by imitating a lion herself before pulling the toy back into her arms when Leila passed it over.
"Leon. Mi Leon." She cuddled the lion tightly before walking it across her leg and down to the floor."
Leila turns her attention away from the toddler to put her shoes and socks on and Isabel took the opportunity to slip down from the cubby, waddling through the changing room with Leila's watchful eye on her.
She spun around to look at the defender, quickly noticing her raised eyebrows and her playful stern expression. She brought her hand up to her mouth, looking directly at Leila as she giggled mischievously, too distracted to look at where she was going until she bumped right into a pair of legs.
She spun around immediately, looking up and down at the unfamiliar woman and gave her a smile after assessing that she looked nice enough, brandishing out the lion toy that she was holding.
The brunette knelt down to her level, smiling softly.
"Hola!"
Isabel smiled, bringing the toy back towards her.
"Hola!" She giggled, smiling giddily at the tall woman.
"What's your name?"
"Isabel!" She shook her lion "Leon, mi leon." She reached out her arms and the Norwegian understood it as a prompt to pick her up, so she scooped the child up into her arms, standing up and walking back towards Leila.
"My name is Ingrid. It's very nice to meet you!"
Isabel nodded sweetly, pointing over at Leila.
"Is Leila!" She then pointed over to Patri, then Pina. "Y Patri, y pina. Jenni!"
Ingrid laughed quietly as the child in her arms pointed around the room naming people, but moved over to where Leila was sat, handing over the child.
"Hola. You are Ingrid?" The fullback smiled politely as Ingrid nodded. "It's good to have you here, welcome to Barca."
The Norwegian smiled. "I am very happy to be here."
The door opened as Leila was about to respond, but Isabel's head whipped around at the sound of her mother's voice, jumping up in the fullback's lap.
"Mami!"
Mapi strode across the changing room, picking Isabel up with one arm and bouncing her on her hip.
"Hola, mi Is." She planted a kiss on her daughter's temple as she laughed, pointing over to Ingrid.
"Ingrid!"
"Who?" Mapi followed her daughter's hand, spotting the retreating Norwegian figure. Her hair was thick, Mapi noticed, rich and abundant in the way it fell easily down past her shoulders but the centre back was sure that hair so gorgeous was anything but easy to maintain.
"Did you meet her?"
Isabel nodded, a smile still on her face. "Held me!"
"She held you?"
Isabel nodded enthusiastically right as Ingrid turned around, immediately making eye contact with the spanish mother. Mapi was sure that if she didn't have a baby in her arms she would have gone weak at the knees and maybe fallen to the floor.
Because the first thing she noticed were the piercing green eyes staring right back into her own, and the way they sparkled as soon as her mouth shot up into a large smile.
Ingrid, the new signing, was possibly the most gorgeous person Mapi had ever laid her eyes on.
Mapi could only smile back as she tried her best to memorise every detail of the Norwegian's face as if she would never see it again, so consumed in her thoughts that she didn't realise that the brunette had been moving closer and closer until she was right in front of her.
"Is she yours?"
Mapi could only nod, her voice had somehow run away. Ingrid smiled once more at the confirmation and Mapi inhaled slowly, trying to subtly inhale as much of the midfielder's scent as she could.
"She's adorable, I mean, she looks just like you, really."
Mapi nodded again, hitting herself internally for not being able to form a coherent sentence.
"I'm Ingrid, I've just signed. From Norway. I play for Wolfsburg." She grimaced. "I mean, I play for Norway. I have signed from Wolfsburg."
Suddenly, Mapi wishes she had paid more attention to Alexia's analysis of their new signings as hey were walking in earlier. Maybe she would have been to prepare herself.
"I'm Mapi, it's nice to meet you."
It was a small win, but the sentence was coherent and Mapi was happy. She adjusted Isabel on her hip in order to reach out and shake Ingrid's hand, and the Norwegian smiled and took it.
Later, when Alexia would tease Mapi about her obvious crush, the centre back would argue that she was being professional, and use the awkward hand shake as proof.
Ingrid and Mapi stood silently for a moment, the baby becoming increasingly more confused as silence settled upon them, just looking at each other mid hand shake.
"Mami!"
They were successfully broken out of the small trance, their eyes both immediately whipping towards the small child.
"I think I better go." Mapi smiled somewhat apologetically, although she wasn't sure why she felt that small bit of guilt. "I think she missed her nap this morning which means there will be tears in just under an hour so I want to get her to sleep as soon as possible."
"You're not staying for training?"
The Norwegian seemed confused, although she was aware that the talented centre back had missed a season and a half of football. The reason was unclear to fans and the general public, but had become abundantly clear to Ingrid almost immediately.
Mapi sighed thoughtfully.
"Soon. I will be back, I mean. Just not today. Hence the no training kit."
Ingrid nodded, the smile back on her face.
"I look forward to it. It was nice to meet you!"
"Yeah, yeah. Nice to meet you too. I'll see you soon."
"Bye, Mapi."
It was silent as Alexia and Mapi walked back out to the car. It was like a switch had flicked in Isabel as soon as they left as well, suddenly exhausted in her mother's arms. She was practically asleep when Mapi clipped her into her seat and the two adults were sure she was fast asleep by the time they were on the road.
"So." Alexia started, a small smirk on her face. Mapi knew exactly where this was going. "Ingrid Engen, huh?"
Mapi rolled her eyes, staring out the window.
"Ale, please. No."
The brunette shrugged, an amused look on her face as she briefly turned to look at Mapi.
"I'm just saying. I haven't seen you like that around someone in almost two years."
"Having a child changes you."
It was true. Mapi hadn't seen anyone since she was about two months pregnant. She found it too difficult to explain, sometimes questioning her decisions herself.
It was a tough decision, choosing to be a surrogate for her best friend, especially as it put her career to the side for an extended period of time. But Luis was a born father, as was his wife, Isabel, had too many health issues to count. The news that she would never be able to carry a baby came with devastation. The news that she couldn't even produce an egg came with heartbreak.
It was Mapi who offered to be a surrogate for them, her heart slowly ripping apart every time she picked up the phone to a crying Luis as he wished and prayed that he could become a father, wanting it more than anything else.
Initially, they had refused, telling her that she should focus on herself, that she should focus on her career. It had taken a few months to convince them, and by the time they agreed, Mapi knew it was the right decision.
The first two trimesters were easy. She was carrying a small baby, the bump barely visible which made keeping it a secret incredibly easy. She stopped playing games in the middle of the second trimester, and stopped training at the end of it. There was little to no news about her from the club, and fans were left confused when she stopped appearing on the matchday squad list and later as she stopped appearing on their social media altogether.
To this day, the fans were still confused, because it has almost been two years since their fierce defender was seen in any Barcelona coverage, and she was seldom mentioned in their press.
In the third trimester, Luis and Isabel went on a road trip to Madrid, visiting family.
Two hours after saying goodbye to them, Mapi got the call that there had been an accident. They had both died on the scene and Mapi was left distraught, the baby in her belly only a reminder of the couple that she loved so much, that she would have done anything for. That she did do anything for.
She gave birth a month later, alone in the delivery room as her parents and Alexia stood outside anxiously, concerned for the once boisterous footballer who had barely said three sentences since her best friend died.
"Isabel Luisa." She was decisive as they entered, her eyes red as she cradled the newborn in her arms as her own mother rushed to her side, Alexia standing at the end of the bed.
"I don't know yet whether I will give her my last name or theirs, but she is having their first names. Technically."
Pilar had burst into tears, her hand latching onto her daughters arm and it was clear to Alexia that Mapi was fighting back tears also.
"I have to be strong for her, Ale. She needs a strong Mami."
Alexia softened at her friend's whispered words, nodding quickly before replying.
"She has the strongest Mami. You will be good for her, Maria. And she will be good for you."
The whole thing was too difficult to explain to potential hookups or girlfriends when she was pregnant, and once she was born, Isabel made a great excuse to never go out when Alexia asked.
Besides, Mapi didn't want to date. She had her hands full with the baby and her other focus was completely on becoming fit again and at some point returning to the game she loves so much. There was no time for a girlfriend on top of that.
"I'm just saying, she felt the same way. It was obvious." Alexia shrugged, not realising that her words would send Mapi into an unhealthy spiral of guilt and concern.
When the centre back didn't respond, Alexia took it as a cue to change the topic of conversation, so she moved back to the topic of football, something that she could ramble about for hours and Mapi could block out easily.
"Are you going back to training after this?"
Mapi interrupted Alexia mid-sentence, clearly not listening to what she was saying at all.
Alexia nodded. "I have to. I'll make it for the last three hours hopefully. Why?"
Mapi shrugged.
"I think I want to start back tomorrow."
Alexia's head whipped over to Mapi, slamming on her breaks after almost whipping the car 90 degrees to the right with the sheer force that her entire body moved to face her friend.
"Tomorrow?"
"Ale! Be careful!"
They both yelled at the same time and Isabel woke up with a start, calling out for Mapi, who sighed deeply, running her hands over her face.
"Tomorrow, yes." She spoke quietly, her voice a whisper. "I don't know. I have to try at some point and it seems like a good time, in pre season. Do you not think so?"
"No, no. I think that is a great idea. Everyone will be thrilled. Hell, I'm over the moon!" Alexia smiled, pulling over outside the entrance to Mapi's apartment. "I'm proud of you, Mapi. I really am. You should be proud of yourself too."
She leant over the centre console, pulling Mapi into a hug and wiping away her friend's tears when she released her and saw her eyes shining.
"Luis would be proud too. And so very grateful."
Mapi sniffed, shaking her head.
"Thanks, Ale. I love you. Thanks for dropping me home and... thanks for everything you've done for me. For us."
"You're my best friend, Maria. No need to thank me."
Mapi smiled, stepping out of the car and closing the door behind her before stepping to the back door and unclipping Isabel from the seat.
"Mami," Isabel whined, clinging tightly to Mapi's neck as she waved goodbye to Alexia's retreating car and moved towards the front door.
"I think it's nap time for you, my Is."
~~~~~~
i've written a maybe 13k words of this next story already but most of what's written is rough and needs proof reading. can't promise particularly quick updates because i study full time, have two jobs and also prehab for a knee reconstruction in a couple months so i am pretty busy!
if you have any requests or want to see anything in particular let me know! what I have can be changed and modified easily to suit you guys :)
pls let me know what you think
have a great day :)
#mapi leon#ingrid engen#mapi leon x ingrid engen#alexia putellas#woso fanfics#woso#fcb femení#barca femeni#woso community
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