#if one more bad thing happens hes crawling into bes and not moving ever again

[crows-of-buckets]

The Commander is a guy who was cursed with being one of the best tactical minds of a generation. He wants to live a quiet life and adopt as many pets as his future husband will allow but nooo he has to do paperworkkkkk. Give this man a farm and he will be happier than he ever was leading an army...

No I have not forgiven Galfrey for fucking up my armies after I literally crawled out of hell why do you ask

[lovie-bugzz]

goodnight ┊sirius black

pairing - bsf!sirius x f!reader (first person pov)

summary - You wake up from a nightmare, not being able to sleep. So you go to your best friend Sirius for comfort. Still not being able to sleep, Sirius claims he knows the perfect way to get you to sleep…

contains - smut, soft dom!Sirius, swearing, fingering, female orgasm, dirty talk, teasing, orgasm denial(sort of)

word count - 4627

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I woke up with a start, shooting up in my bed with a gasp, my eyes shooting open as I panted heavily. My heart was racing, my body was sweating profusely, and I was shaking.

I haven’t had a nightmare this bad since I was a kid, but recently they’ve been happening more frequently as the wizarding war gets more intense. Seeing the terrifying and awful things that are happening in the world written on the daily prophet everyday has taken a toll on me.

I was scared all the time. It felt like all it took was one wrong move and my friends and I would be gone, just like that.

Once I steadied my heartbeat, I laid back down, letting out a sigh. I closed my eyes again, trying to get back to sleep, but whenever I closed my eyes, all I could see were flashes from my nightmare, all of my friends dying at the hands of the dark lord.

I sat up once more, thinking for a moment before getting out of bed, grabbing my wand, and leaving my dorm. I quickly but quietly walked down the girls dormitory stairs, and went up the boys stairs.

I found myself standing in front of the marauders dorm, after a moment I pointed my wand at the doorknob and whispered, “Alohomora.” before twisting the handle and walking in.

I was sort of surprised to see all of the boys sound asleep since usually they'd be up causing mischief, so I carefully closed and locked the door behind me.

I tiptoed over to Sirius’ bed, chuckling quietly to myself as I peaked through his curtains and saw his sleeping position. His black hair wildly strewn across his face, while he held tightly onto one of his pillows, soft snores falling from his lips.

I admired him for a moment longer before moving the curtain aside so I could reach down and nudge his shoulder. “Sirius… Sirius…” I whispered.

The boy let out a soft grumble as he stirred a bit, before his eyelids slowly fluttered open, his sleepy gaze landing on me standing over him. His brows furrowed as he let out a yawn, "What are you doing here?" He asked, his voice raspy from just waking up.

“I… I had a nightmare. I can't get back to sleep.” I told him, shifting on my feet. Sirius was the only person who knew about my nightmares, though I never spoke in detail about them, which he respected.

His sleepy expression softened when he heard my words, concern etched onto his face as he studied my expression. He had been worried about me ever since my nightmares started. Sirius sat up fully and pushed the blankets off of him, “C'mere.” He said, patting the spot next to him on the bed for me.

I smiled gratefully and instantly slipped through his curtains, and crawled under his covers, curling into his bare chest. “Thank you…” I whispered to him as he wrapped his arm around me, pulling me close to his side.

He hummed in response, wrapping his other arm around me as well and holding me tightly against his chest, his chin resting on the top of my head. He pressed a delicate kiss to the top of my head while one of his hands started gently rubbing my back.

"No need to thank me, darling." He whispered softly, the nickname rolling off his tongue easily.

I felt so safe in his arms, it's been a while since we've had a sleepover together, the last time was probably in our 3rd year, which was 3 years ago as now we are in 6th year. I let out a deep breath against his chest, feeling calmer now that I was in his arms.

Sirius smiled against my hair, he knew how much I loved and craved physical affection, especially in times like these where I was upset. He started tracing patterns along my back with his fingers, enjoying the feeling of having me in his arms again after a while.

"I missed this…" He admitted quietly, his voice barely above a whisper. I nodded my head against him with a small content smile on my face, as I mumbled, “Yeah… me too.”

He hummed softly as he continued tracing patterns on my back, occasionally moving up to run his fingers through my hair. He looked down at me, noticing how tired I looked, and pressed another kiss to the top of my head before speaking up again. "You can try and sleep if you want, darling. I'm right here."

A small yawn left my lips, as I realized how exhausted I truly was, "Okay..." I spoke, letting my eyes close as I tried to fall asleep with Sirius still holding me close.

About 5 minutes had passed, and I couldn't fall asleep. I wasn't sure exactly why, as I was so tired, but my brain wouldn't turn off. I let out a huff as my eyes opened again, my brows furrowed in frustration as all I wanted was a good night's rest.

Sirius noticed how tense my body was against his, meaning that I wasn't asleep yet. He could tell that I was frustrated and probably annoyed that I couldn't sleep. He stopped tracing patterns on my back and moved his hand to gently grip my chin, tilting my head up to look at him. "Your mind is racing, isn't it?"

I nodded in response, rolling the smallest bit out of his arms and onto my back, making his hand fall from my chin. My gaze was fixed on the ceiling as I chewed on my bottom lip, something I did when I was frustrated.

Sirius raised an eyebrow at me as he propped himself up on his elbow looking down at me. "Hey, don't do that." He said, using his other hand to gently take my lip out from between my teeth with his thumb and index finger.

My head turned to the side to look at him as he freed my lip, I gave him a small smile before sighing, "I just want to be able to sleep. This is so annoying."

My words gave Sirius an idea. He knew how to get people to go to sleep, girls specifically. It was sort of his specialty. A mind blowing orgasm or two would do it. But he had never done that with me, I was his best friend, but at the same time, he knew how much I needed rest, and this was the only way he knew how to help me.

Sirius debated in his head for a moment, if he should really do what he had in mind, for a second he almost thought it was ridiculous, but then he looked at me. He looked at how tired I was and how frustrated I seemed. That's when he decided to do it, besides it didn't have to mean anything, it was just one friend helping another.

I furrowed my brows as I watched the grin grow on his face, and just before I could question him, he leaned closer to me and whispered, "I think I know just the thing to help you sleep, darling." He said in a soft yet suggestive tone.

My cheeks turned a soft pink as he used that tone of voice on me, I knew that tone. It was the same tone he always used when he tried to seduce girls.

"What are you-" I started, but before I could finish he cut me off by slowly placing a hand on my hip and gently tugging me closer to him.

He smirked as he saw the confused and curious look on my face. He then leaned in closer to the point where his breath was hitting my ear and spoke in a low tone, so only I could hear. "Would you like me to show you?"

His tone of voice and the way his breath wafted over my ear made a shiver run down my spine, my breath catching in my throat. "Sirius..." I whispered out, gulping before continuing. "Do you really think that's a good idea?"

Sirius' smirk only widened as he noticed how flustered I got by his subtle actions and the way my voice was shaking. His hand on my hip tightened a bit. He gently nipped at my earlobe before responding, his voice was still low and seductive as he spoke.

"I think it's the only idea, darling. You need to relax and get some rest, and I know just the way to do that." He said, his hand slowly moving from my hip to my thigh, giving it a light squeeze.

I gently bit my lip again, but this time to make sure any noises didn't slip out. He was turning me on, I could already feel the wetness seeping into my panties. But still, I had doubts, no matter how much I needed it.

"What if the boys hear?" I asked, but Sirius was already pulling his wand out from under his pillow and pointing it towards his bed curtains. He quickly muttered the silencing spell, "Muffliato."

He smirked as he looked back at me, placing his wand back under his pillow, I let out a shaky breath as his hand returned to my thigh, "There. They won't hear a thing." He told me, his voice now a little smug as he continued to tease you, before his face softened, "Just say the word, and I'll stop." He spoke, looking deep into my eyes to make sure I knew he was serious.

Now I wasn't an idiot, I knew all about Sirius' sexual escapades. How could I not? He bragged about them all the time, and from the stories I've heard from all the girls he's been with, I knew he was incredible in bed. With that knowledge mixed with my desperate need to get some sleep, I didn't have the strength in me to say no, so instead the words that came out of my mouth were, "Don't stop."

Sirius let out a satisfied hum as a smirk tugged on the corner of his lips, as he heard those words leave my mouth. His hand on my thigh traveled further up, slowly making its way in between my legs, stopping when his fingers were pressed against my covered core, making my breath hitch once again.

"Good girl." Sirius mumbled softly before leaning in closer, his mouth now directly next to my ear again. "Just relax and let me take care of you, darling." He whispered into my ear, nipping at it once again before pulling away and placing a light kiss on my neck, his other hand that wasn't between my legs moving to gently grip my chin, tilting my head back a bit.

A small whimper fell from my lips, and in one quick movement, Sirius had pushed me down so my back was against the bed, while he hovered over me, his lips still attached to my neck. After a moment, he pulled away, moving both his hands to the waistband of my shorts, but he stayed like that, not moving as he questioned me with his eyes.

I gave him a short nod, but it seemed Sirius wanted more, "Words, darling. I need words." He said in a low voice, making me squirm a bit. I gulped, before speaking, "Take them off."

Sirius smirked once again, obviously loving the effect he had on me. It made his ego grow. "As you wish, darling." He responded, before slowly tugging my shorts down my legs and placing them to the side. His tongue darted out, wetting his lips as he stared down at me, before leaning back down to hover above me.

His lips reattached to my neck, now lightly nipping at the skin, occasionally letting out a soft growl against my skin when he found a sensitive spot that made me let out a soft sound. One of his hands slowly pulled up my shirt, his hand occasionally slipping under it to gently run his fingers over my stomach, while his other hand went back to its spot between my legs, now starting to rub small circles over my clit through my panties, making me whine in pleasure.

Sirius continued his assault on my neck, his tongue darting out occasionally to soothe over the spots that he nipped leaving small purple marks that would have to be covered up tomorrow, but right now he didn't care.

His attention was focused on finding the spots that made me whimper and whine, and once he did, he would make sure to keep his mouth in that spot as long as possible, all while his other hand continued to tease me through my panties in the most torturous way. He was enjoying every single noise that was escaping me, loving the way I was squirming and wriggling underneath him.

"You make such beautiful sounds, darling." He whispered against my skin, his lips trailing down to my collarbone as he moved my panties to the side. The boy chuckled when he felt me shiver underneath his touch.

My breath hitched in my throat as I felt the delicate touch of his finger against my soaking wet folds. "S-Sirius..." I whimpered out, as he pulled his head back to look down at me. My face was blushed, my breath coming in pants, I was already a mess.

"You’re so wet for me already.” he spoke, and as if to prove a point he let his middle finger slip right inside me, making me gasp in both pleasure and shock. He smirked down at me as he took his finger back out, spreading my slick around my folds.

My head lolled back against the pillow as more whimpers fell from my mouth. I don't think I had ever been this turned on and desperate in my life. What was even more shocking was the fact that Sirius Black, my best friend, was doing this to me, he was making me feel like this.

When Sirius saw my head fall back against the pillow, he gently grabbed my chin with his free hand and tilted my head up so my eyes locked onto his, his smirk only growing wider when he saw how flushed and desperate I looked. "Look at me." He said, his gaze was dark, full of lust while his finger dropped to my entrance again to collect more of my wetness, before trailing up to my bundle of nerves, rubbing in tight circles.

His words combined with his actions made me let out a moan as I struggled to keep my gaze on him. "Shh, I know, darling." He mumbled, as his finger continued its slow, torturous pace on my clit, wanting to drive me insane before any sort of relief. "Look at you, already trembling and whining for me, and I've barely even touched you."

He was right, I was trembling, my breaths coming in pants as my heart thundered against my chest. I was so desperate, all I wanted was a release, but he was taking his time with me. "Sirius... Please." I whimpered, looking up at him.

His dick was throbbing against his pants, straining against the material and begging for attention as he watched me squirming and moaning at his touch. But for once in his life he didn’t feel the need to give himself pleasure, tonight was about me and me only. "You want it, don’t you?" he asked, leaning down and placing a kiss against my cheek while his finger picked up its pace the smallest bit, "You want my fingers inside you?” He breathed out in question.

I let out a shaky moan as I felt him kiss my cheek and spoke to me in that low sultry voice. He was driving me insane, his words and his actions making my eyes roll back in my head, "Y-Yes." I responded, my voice was trembling as I could barely speak from the way I was shaking with pleasure. I moved my head to the side, my cheeks flushed red as I met his gaze again. I could tell that this was affecting him too, but he was being surprisingly selfless tonight.

The look on my face and the tone of my voice made his smirk grow even wider, his breathing becoming a bit unsteady the more he watched me squirm and moan from his touches.

He gently rubbed his thumb over my bottom lip, before leaning down closer so our faces were mere inches away from each other. "You look absolutely beautiful like this..." he mumbled, which made my stomach clench and my face flush. After a moment, he pulled his finger away from my pussy and brought it up to my mouth, tracing my lips with it, before whispering, "Open your mouth for me."

I did as he said, parting my lips just enough for his finger to slip in, and I wrapped my lips around it, swirling my tongue as I tasted myself. Sirius let out a shaky breath as he watched me, a small groan leaving his mouth, "Fuck..." He practically growled as he removed his finger from my mouth.

Sirius leaned back down and started to place kisses down my neck as he whispered in my ears, the low tone of his voice making me shiver under him once again. "Such a good girl, following instructions so nicely." He mumbled, the smirk never leaving his face as he gently nipped at my skin.

"You have no idea what you're doing to me right now, darling." he mumbled, his finger trailing back down my body, "But right now it's about you, and only you. Understood? Tonight is only about your pleasure."

I bit my lip, nodding my head in response as I didn't think I'd even be able to form any words at the moment. Sirius smirked at me, muttering a small, "Good." and before I could even say or do anything, he slipped two fingers inside of me, pumping them at a slow speed making me moan out.

"You're so tight, darling." he mumbled, as he picked up the pace just the smallest bit, loving the look on my face as I moaned in response. It wasn't rare to see a girl like this for him, so desperate and needy, falling apart for him, but the fact that it was me only made it even more special, but he kept that to himself. He was only doing this to help me sleep, right? He shook the thought off before it could develop further, pushing the thoughts to the back of his mind in favor of paying attention to my pleasure.

"Fuck, Sirius..." I moaned out, as he picked up his pace even more, while simultaneously circling his thumb around my clit. The feeling made my eyes roll back in my head as my hands searched around me for something to grip onto, only finding the bedsheets below me, trying to ground myself in some way as my body trembled from his touch.

"Yeah? You like your best friend's fingers?" He teased as he pumped his digits even faster, his gaze focused on my pleasure filled face. I unconsciously clenched around him from his dirty words, the action making him let out a low growl. "Answer me." He spoke, his voice husky as his fingers reached deeper inside of me, brushing right up against my g-spot.

I let out a guttural moan, "Yes! Yes, I love it!" I moaned out, feeling myself getting closer to my release, and I was sure he could tell too, with the way I was constantly squeezing around his fingers.

His smirk only grew, he was growing obsessed with hearing me moan out what he wanted to hear. If there was anything Sirius Black loved it was praise, hearing a girl tell him how good he was making her feel. But once again he had to try and shake off the weird feelings he was getting from all this. I was his best friend, but for some reason it seemed to feel like much more than that. Sirius looked down at me, watching my expression change as I grew closer and closer to my release, but he was nowhere near being done with me. He wanted to see how much he could push me.

His pace picked up, now going at such a speed that my breath was coming out in pants and my vision was going blurry, and I was so close, right on the edge of my release. Right when I was about to cum, Sirius slowed down to an achingly slow pace, his smirk growing wider as he saw the look on my face. He knew how desperate I was, he knew what I wanted.

He kept up his slow pace, his thumb gently rubbing against my clit every so often, but never enough to send me over the edge. "Come on, Sirius." I whined out, my hips squirming as I tried to make him go faster again.

"Ah, ah." He said, using his free hand to lightly grip my hip, stopping me from moving while keeping his fingers moving at their unbearably slow pace, "Patience darling. Don't be greedy." He spoke, his voice was smug, seeing the desperation on my face, knowing what I wanted, but not giving it to me just yet. He was enjoying torturing me like this, the control he had over my pleasure.

He knew exactly what he was doing to me, and he knew it was driving me crazy. I let out a frustrated groan as he continued to move his fingers at a snail's pace, my hips trying to move but his hand on my hip stopped me from doing so. I looked up at him, my eyes filled with a mix of desperation and need, silently begging him to let me cum.

Seeing the look on my face, made his heart flutter and his stomach clench. He'd never been this affected by a girl before, well at least not that he could remember. He was starting to wonder if this was a good idea, but before he could think about it too hard, one of his fingers curled up against my g-spot and his pace picked up speed. Not too much, but it was enough to send my eyes rolling back in my head, and a loud moan tore from my throat.

The sound of your moan sent a jolt straight to his cock, making him bite back a moan of his own. His eyes never left your face as he continued to move his fingers inside of you, watching your expressions change with every single touch, committing them to memory.

Still being sensitive from my stolen orgasm, it didn't take long for me to get close again. I couldn't hold back any of the moans leaving my mouth, my body was tingling with pleasure and need for release.

Sirius watched as you grew more and more desperate, and as you approached your orgasm again, he started to pick up the pace of his fingers once more. He knew you wouldn't last long this time, not after what he had just done to you.

"Are you close, darling?" he asked, his voice low and husky as he spoke into your ear. His thumb moved faster over your clit as he curled his fingers inside you.

"Yes. Yes! Please let me cum." I moaned out, practically pleading with him as I neared the edge.

His smirk only grew wider at that, he loved seeing me begging for him, begging for my release, it only fueled his ego even more. "Go on then, darling. Cum for me." he practically growled out, as his fingers moved even faster, hitting all the right spots inside me.

And once his words registered in my brain, I did, my back arching off the bed as a series of sounds left my mouth, a mix of his name and curses. My entire body shook in pure ecstasy, my vision going white for a moment as I came, hard, my legs trembling as I tried to process the intense feeling.

The look on Sirius' face was satisfied as he watched, his heart racing from seeing me get so lost in pleasure that he was giving me. His eyes were fixed on my face, taking in every single expression, every single twitch and every single moan. He was growing obsessed, watching me fall apart from his touch, he didn't understand why he was having these thoughts and feelings, and for once, Sirius Black wasn't in control of himself.

In one swift movement, he leaned down and captured my lips with his in a heated kiss, swallowing all of my moans as his fingers worked me through my orgasm. His eyes were shut tightly as his lips moved against mine, he was completely lost in the kiss, his fingers continuing to move inside me as my body trembled under his touch.

The kiss was messy and completely intoxicating, neither of us seemed to want it to end anytime soon. Sirius felt something inside him start to stir as he kissed me, something that he didn't quite understand, but he wasn't thinking properly enough to question what it was.

After another moment, he forced himself to pull his lips away from mine, but his fingers didn't stop, he only slowed down before eventually stopping, watching as I whimpered and trembled under him from the aftershocks of my orgasm. "You're so beautiful like this." he whispered, his voice soft as he pulled me into his arms.

I was still shaking as he pulled me into his arms, burying my face in the crook of his neck as I attempted to steady my breathing and slow my thudding heart. Everything was still sort of blurry from the intensity of the orgasm he had given me, I was sure this was the most powerful one I had ever experienced. "You're not so bad yourself..." I mumbled against his skin, my voice weak and shaky.

He chuckled lightly and planted a gentle kiss on top of my head, a small smirk still on his face as he thought about everything that just happened. His thoughts were racing a mile a minute as he tried to make sense of his feelings.

He laid there with me in his arms, the sound of our heavy breathing filling the room. Sirius was still trying to wrap his head around the fact that he just made his best friend cum. His best friend, who he was so close with that they practically knew everything about each other, who he had never even looked at in a sexual way before.

I stayed pressed up against his chest, my eyes slowly started to flutter closed as my body relaxed against him. His heartbeat was steady and soothing next to my ear, and the steady rise and fall of his chest as he breathed helped to slowly calm my own frantic breathing. Soon I felt the exhaustion start to hit me, my body completely spent from everything that just happened.

Sirius smiled a little as he felt my body slowly go slack against him, my breaths becoming deep and even as I began to fall asleep. He held me close to him, continuing to place soft kisses on top of my head. He still had a million questions in his head about everything that had just happened, but his mind was too foggy from exhaustion to properly process all of them. After a moment he spoke, his voice soft and quiet.

"Goodnight, darling."

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masterlist

[katiascraft]

✐ᝰ "You knew all too well i was right where you left me" | CL16 ࣪𓏲ּ ᥫ᭡ ₊

parings: retired!charles leclerc x writer!ex!reader

series summary: It’s the story of a woman frozen in the moment her world fell apart. A perfect dinner ended with, “I met someone else,” and while everyone moved on, she remained stuck in that instant, unable to let go of the past. A poignant tale of heartbreak, grief, and the weight of being trapped in a “forever” that never was.

‎[one / two / three / four / current / six...]

chapter five

"there'll be happiness after you but there was happiness because of you too"

word count: 6k.

BLOG MASTERLIST - series masterlist

⋆˚࿔ i did something bad 𝜗𝜚˚⋆

The kiss that started sweet and gentle turned into a passionate and steamy kiss in a fraction of a second. Franco felt kind of desperate. And to be fair, he was. He has waited his whole life for this moment to happen. Or at least all of these years since he met you. But he was convinced he won’t ever feel like this for any other girl in his entire life. He dated girls, fucked a few, played with them sometimes, tried to make it work. But none of them felt like you, laughed like you, thought like you, joked like you. None of them were you. And what was the craziest thing to him was that he had never tasted you. Not like this. He felt raised to heaven blessed by the gods. He felt like a kid who behaved properly and Santa brought him all of the presents he asked for during the year. A dream came true.  

His hands were all over your back and hips. His touch was warm and determined. He felt like he wanted to remember how you felt, the shape of you under his touch, how your skin felt, how warm he made you feel. 

His kisses were tracing a road down your neck. His lips were soft and wet. They made your skin crawl. Your fingers in his hair and shoulders trying to remain stood under his embrace. His skin was soft and his perfume was leaving you drunker by its whiskey scent. That smell defined him very well in your opinion. His skin was on fire. You couldn’t help but feel things you aren’t supposed to feel with your best friend. Well, you were doing things you’re not supposed to do with your bestie either. 

Your breath was heavy. Your heart rate elevated. He came back to your lips and the way he kisses you gently again burnt your body. You felt a heat you haven’t felt in a long time for anyone. If you didn’t remember to be this intense before. Franco was franco. And that implied that everything was different. Unique. He wasn’t like other guys. I mean, he was the most cheerful guy you have ever met. You couldn’t stop laughing around him. It  was impossible not to or have a serious conversation. But at the same time he was such a great listener. When you told him about Charles that you ended up crying, he was the most comforting person. You knew at that moment your friendship made a turn. A turn into one of the most precious relationships you have in your life. He was so comprehensive. It is actually so rare to meet someone like that in this fucked up society these days. 

And for some reason or maybe for all of those reasons, this felt really wrong. You didn’t want to hurt him. You always knew he liked you, of course you did. It was obvious. The way he looked at you. All out of context presents or compliments. All of his invitations to every grand prix during the year. The facetime calls at random times in the day just to check in. and you liked all of that but always tried to make sure you didn’t play with his feelings. Respecting spaces and distances. Codes. He was really important to you, you just couldn’t risk him just like that. Just for a kiss or sex. He deserved to be so happy with someone 100% into him. And you kinda hated destiny for making him like you when you were stuck with Charles and always into someone else (even failing every time). 

But now you hate yourself even more. Not only because you liked to torture yourself in a really twisted way. But also because you were actually kissing him and touching him in not a friendly way. Not the way you’re supposed to touch him. Or to kiss him. Or to spend your time with him. This was so wrong. You knew this would lead to drama. And the worst part is that you couldn’t stop. And maybe you didn’t want to. And why didn’t you? What is your brain planning to do? Making every situation you’re in worse than the previous one. 

And it was the worst scenario possible. You don’t know how you both ended up in Franco's room. His shirt was already off. Your lips were kissing his stomach going down. It was the best situation for him, that’s for sure. You promised to never get this drunk ever again. You stood up after reaching his boxers with your lips. And kissed him again like you wanted to rescued yourself from fuck it all up but at the same time not stopping at all. You were driving Franco insane and for a moment he felt a bit empty. Was this the beginning of something? Or was it just a once in a lifetime night? Thinking about all of this started hunting him. You have never given him signs that you liked him back. But you were one of his best friends. His hands grabbed your head possessively bringing you closer to him starting to lead you to his bed. You followed him, letting him do whatever he wanted with you. 

Were you ready to do this again? 

Surprising as it may sound, you haven’t had sex in a very long time. You liked to have fun with yourself and explore yourself. But it was hard for you to feel something towards someone and desire them this way. Because the only one who used to turn you on was charles. And there he was again in your head. He was always there hunting you. Franco pushed you softly into his bed climbing up on you. And that’s when you woke up from this trance you couldn’t quite comprehend. He was about to undress you when you pushed him again as softly as you could because you were now exasperated about the situation you put yourself under. Franco looked at you scared. He felt he has really fucked it up. 

“y/n i’m sorry, please. Perdon, I didn't mean to.. I’m sorry” he said, getting up and pulling his shirt on again as fast as he could. You tried to adjust yourself heading out the bedroom. You couldn’t face him now. You felt terrible about yourself. You didn’t know how to handle this situation. You were too drunk. But you also knew you wouldn’t know how to deal with this sober either. “y/n wait, please. Let’s talk” he could grab your hand to stop you from leaving the bedroom making you face him. You felt so embarrassed. You felt like a monster. You looked at his face. He was such a good guy and yet here you are about to break his heart. Why didn’t you stop? Why did you let him do this? You knew it was not only your responsibility, it was his as well but still. 

“I'm sorry fran, this shouldn’t have happened. I'm really sorry” when you said those words you could see how his face changed into a one that even broke your heart. He dropped your hand. He knew. He fucking knew you didn’t like him. Then why would you do this? And on his birthday?

You sprinted out of that room immediately. We can say you almost ran away from him. But the reality was that you wanted to run away from yourself and your stupid ass decisions who fucked everything up each single time. The hallway down to where the party was being held never felt so infinite. You knew your anxiety was becoming a bit too much for you at that moment. Catastrophic scenarios were playing on and on in your mind as you took each step down the stairs. The pressure in your chest increases when you see the people at the party. You felt like they were looking at you, judging. Laughing in your face. Howpathetic could you be? Not getting over your only ex fro more than 10 years, then almost fuck your friend thhat you wasn’t sure if you liked him like that for real or not,  then wanting to be over everything and then fucking everything up. You didn't know how to handle these situations. You felt like a teenager again. Too many mistakes. Too confusing. That made you feel ashamed of yourself. You were a 32 years old woman, acting like 17 years old, fucking up friendships while you couldn’t stop thinking of your ex. And that’s when you wanted to throw up. 

You didn’t want to find your friends. You didn’t want to tell them how you fuck it up with the one guy (once again) that is good for you. How you wasted his time and feelings. You felt like a monster. Like you played with him on purpose even if you actually didn’t want to. You were way too harsh on yourself sometimes. You needed to get out of there just like you got away when you first saw Charles again in that restaurant (or well, now it’s a coffee shop). 

It was running away from your fears, you couldn’t confront them. It was running away from you. You hated yourself. You couldn’t think straight and clear about yourself most of the time. The only moment you trusted yourself was when writing. And you also doubted yourself very much on it. You couldn’t win. Your self-confidence didn’t exist. You were sure about it. People were dancing while you were pushing them a bit to walk through the party out to the garden. You need fresh air in your brain as soon as possible. Or you were about to become insane if you didn’t. People said things to you but you didn’t hear. Your eyes locked on the floor. Your stomach was in your throat. The image of Charles stuck in your brain. 

I met someone. I met someone. I met someone. I met someone. I met someone. 

His lips moved, pronouncing those damn three words to your face. As if they were nothing. As if you were nothing at all for him. And maybe you were. You couldn’t imagine Franco saying those things to you, for example. Or maybe men were equal? Maybe you needed to experiment with girls. Maybe they are less complicated and more open. But maybe you were the problem. Too many thoughts per second. You jumped out of every single boat you ended up in. You didn’t know anymore. In your brain, things are too complicated and you know all too well you will need years to repair the damage made to it. From your dad and mum, to Charles and every single other guy you mate. To Franco and to this balcony where you would find someone maybe ready to love you like you matter, like you deserve to feel loved, like you’re amazing and beautiful. Then you were sure you were completely insane. There was no way you were always thinking about someone saving you from yourself. But there you were hoping to meet the love of your life in that gallery outside the party in Franco's house. Maybe writing and your imagination was rotting your brain. You thought about retiring and working in a library as a normal person would do. You didn’t know why you were thinking all of these things suddenly. 

Maybe you were tired and frustrated. You just gave up when you finally got to the garden. The cold air of London fills your lungs, helping you with your anxiety. Your body heat dropped. Your sweaty hands got dry and cold. Your nose is red. Your eyes closed. You were doing your breathing meditation. Your heart palpitations didn’t stop though. And they were fast. Faster than Charles getting over you and everything you built. Faster than you ruining the friendship with franco. Faster than you waiting for someone to save you. Your life sucked. You really didn’t want to think about it like that. But you did. Most times you just couldn't see positive things in it. You felt like a failure. A loser. You didn’t have a lover nor a family. A loser that’s what you were. A complete failure. You had almost no family as well. No father, no mother. Just a brother and a sister who lived on the other side of the world and barely talked to you. Your only family was agostina, your best friend. And she was everything you were not. She has the perfect lover with whom she built a beautiful family of five. Her kids were lovely. She was gorgeous and the greatest person you knew. She was exactly everything you were not. But you didn't hate her. Of course you didn't. You would never think of her like that. It made you as sad as happy for her. Sad for you. Happy for her. 

Why can’t you live something like that? 

“Hey, you okay?” you jumped a little scared because of the sudden interruption to your thoughts and sadness. You turned to your side to find that guy. I think it was Lando's name or something like that Nikola said a few hours ago. When he brought you back to reality you realized you were crying hard. Your face bathed in tears. Cold and puffy. His face was concerned. His eyes are shiny, so blue and green. You found his face so pretty to look at. Alcohol was still in your veins, otherwise you wouldn’t be here crying so dramatically. You would try to hide it. Always. 

⋆˚࿔ let it happen 𝜗𝜚˚⋆

Your eyes were on his eyes. Yours were red and puffy. His red is tired and shiny. You stayed in silence for a moment. You answered his question when he saw your face. Something in him cracked for some reason. Oh, he did know you very well. He saw you on that balcony and now that he has you right in front of him, he couldn’t believe you being more beautiful than on that day, but you actually are. He promised Charles he wouldn’t even try but he talked to Carlos about it. Carlos wanted Charles to move on but he was making a move on you and was crossing the line. 

He looked down to his water bottle on his right hand. “Do you want some? Maybe you feel better” he said with a deep voice. He was nervous as hell. Alcohol in his veins as like in yours. He saw your smile. Your face was so pretty. You looked so cute with the boca juniors shirton. He had one as well. He didn’t think they were his colors, blue and yellow, not his thing. But you looked so pretty in them. All of the girls at the party were dressed looking hot as hell. But you and your friends looked cute. Relaxed outfits for the win. And that made you look all so attractive or at least for him. He recognized you a few hours ago. He was kinda shocked to see you there because he has never seen you near franco like ever. You didn’t go to the races nor comment on Franco's posts. Or anything at all. Then here you are. He saw kissing him. He saw you two going up the stairs. Alcohol didn’t let him analizy things properly even if he tried his best in doing so. 

Your fingers that grabbed the bottle from his hand, brushed his sending electricity throughout his arm. He smiled gently at you watching you drink from it. 

“Thank you, and sorry you had to see me cry” you told him, giving his bottle back and he smiled so pretty, shaking his head. You found him so attractive. You were just trying not to be so obvious. Also, you were worried to look like a slut if he saw you kissing Franco before. But why did you care so much? Why were you thinking all of these things about him? 

“Oh no, don’t be sorry. You still look cute tho” he said giggling a bit making you laugh a bit as well. You shook your head not agreeing with him. 

“Thank you again, but no need to lie about that tho” you told him a little funny. 

“I promise I'm not lying. You're pretty even crying” he confessed, making you blush. “You okay? Need to talk or something?” he asked to checkon you even if you were strangers. “Im lando by the way” he introduced himself so this wasn’t that weird. 

“I’m y/n. Nice to meet you. I think I'm better now, I just made a lot of stupid decisions throughout my life that now alcohol just reminds me how much of a loser I am” you were honest. More honest than you would be with anyone. You just blamed the alcohol. 

“Hey, I don't think you’re a loser y/n. I mean, I know we don’t know each other at all. But for me, you don’t look like a loser at all” he expressed. You looked out to the garden in front of you a bit ashamed. 

“Appearances can lie, you know? I’m a loser, I promise you. I’m still stuuckin a fucking restaurante knowing all too well i should’ve move on years ago. But here I am. Fucking up friendships and any opportunity i have to get better and be happy. I just hate myself so much. I won’t ever be happy” you gave up. You no longer cared about what people would think. You didn’t care if he thought you were crazy for telling him so much private stuff. You barely know his name. But there you were comfortable enough to confess your depression to him. He analyzed you. Every detail of your face. Each word you used to describe yourself. 

“I don’t think that makes you a loser still. I think you’re brave enough to tell a stranger how you feel and in my opinion, that takes strength and confidence. And i think you will be happy, you just need to let yourself be” his words hung on the air between you two. Why was a stranger talking to her? Why was he saying things she needed to here? Why his words were important? You were sure he  knew how much of a mess you were. It shows. You were sure. But still he was here. Right when you want someone here waiting for you ready to save you.  Is this who will save you? Are you out of your mind for thinking like this about him? 

Delusion was thinking he will be just like charles wright? You had no idea who this guy was but still you compared him to charles. Because you didn’t want to date Charles again or anyone like him. Or did you? You didn’t know how you felt about all of this. About charles. About yourself. About this guy you don't even know and you want him already to save you just because he called you brave and strong and pretty. Was that really enough for you? Was that the standard you had for yourself? He could be a serial killer right? But you could save him. He could love you. And you would forget about charles. About his touch. About his voice and laugh. About his jokes and moans. About his perfume. About his family and friends. About his cars. About everything related to him. 

But was it fair to love someone to stop loving someone else? 

Did you still love Charles? 

You looked at him again. Your eyes connected. He smiled shyly. You did as well. Maybe you could let this guy ruin you just like Charles did, just because of his face, and his voice and what he said to you without even knowing you. You should get your shit together. You still reeling that fucking monaguesque guy. But at this point you didn’t care anymore. Or at least that’s what you thought. He got closer and kissed your cheek, that took you by surprise but you liked it. Probably way too much.

“I know without knowing you that you’re amazing. You just need to believe it. I’m sure you’ll find someone who sees you” he added and your smile became wider. 

“Thank you, lando.wow. Any stranger said so many nice things about me” you half joked shyly and his cheeks went red. His giggles were the cutest sound you have heard lately. Where was this guy? 

Then you remembered Franco and that this guy probably is his friend. And your back at your self hate again.

Why did everything have to be so difficult?

Why do you have to make so many mistakes at once? 

“y/n, we need your help” Dottie's voice interrupted you two. Her voice seemed worried. “Betty is way too drunk, it’s better if we go home now” she explained, a little suspicious of your both body languages. You nodded. 

“Alright, let’s go. Nice to meet you Lando, hope to talk to you another time though so it’s not that depressing. I promise im fun” you said a bit funny but hurried. Your friend first, always. You kissed his cheek quickly. He laughed about your comment. 

“Oh yea, she is,” Dottie added, supporting you in a smile.

“Hope to see you again sometime, Y/n. good luck with your friend” he said to both of you and after smiling at him you went into the party again.

“D, I think I'm in love,” you said excitedly.

“What?”

⋆˚࿔ it’s time to go 𝜗𝜚˚⋆

⋆˚࿔ 𝜗𝜚˚⋆

⋆˚࿔ 𝜗𝜚˚⋆

⋆˚࿔ the fucking tuesday 𝜗𝜚˚⋆

Arriving in monaco again at 11 am has never felt so good in your entire life. A trip that started like a dream to remember, turned into a nightmare you couldn’t forget but all you wanted to was to forget about it. Just pretend it never existed and erase everything you did wrong that Saturday night.

You missed your house (your safe place),and you needed its comfort more than you would like to admit. Your brain was a mess. You couldn’t stop thinking about charles driving you to your friend’s house then the memory just fading away and inturning into him saying non stop i met someone. You felt you were going insane when you remembered Franco's skin on yours and how good and warm it felt. How you kissed his abs. And then how you got so scared. His face was printed in ink in your subconscious. You could only see sadness, shame, and a bit of hatred. You were sure at that moment he hated you. Like you humiliate him a bit. You felt so bad about it you couldn’t even face him. You really wanted to say sorry but you just didn’t want to see him straight in the eyes. Shame was tattooed all over your body. How could you?

Then your mind was reminded of Lando's existence and you just wanted to punch yourself in the face. What the hell happened with you at that party? Was the fernet that Franco prepared? You wanted to blame anything except yourself. You didn’t understand yourself either. Like your feelings and thoughts couldn’t agree on anything. Like you had split personality issues.

Yes, you liked lando way too much probably in those few minutes at the gallery. But then there was Franco that you now were confused about how you felt about him. Because you really liked to kiss him. To touch him. To feel him close to you in that way.

And then there was still charles.

You were really tired of thinking already you just had to put taylor swift on your headphones.you took the bus that left you one block away from your house. You don't want to call anyone to pick you up. You texted A and she told you that. You didn’t understand why she did it. But it overwhelmed you for sure. You just wanted to retreat from life like forever.

When you finally got home you went straight into bed. When you touched your pillow you started crying. And that’s how you fell asleep scared to have another nightmare.

⋆˚࿔ 𝜗𝜚˚⋆

Charles watched Carlos leaving his phone on the counter with a weird face “everything alright mate?” he asked. Carlos nodded and smiled.

“Yeah, did you send the invitation to everyone you know?” he asked, grabbing the box with vodka bottles and taking them to the fridge.

“Yeah, it’s gonna be a crazy wild night” Charles said excitedly trying to not let his anxiety control his mood right now. He wanted to have fun and purposely forget about everything with alcohol. A lot of it. As much as possible.

⋆˚࿔ 𝜗𝜚˚⋆

The music was so loud that Charles could barely listen to what the blonde girl in front of him was talking about but he didn’t care that much. He was already bored by the third girl Carlos introduced him to. He knows Carlos just has good intentions but he was already convinced no one will captivate him the way you did. Not even if they tried to imitate you. Since he saw you again he couldn’t forget your scent. The way you smiled to your nephews. How you treated them and how he was confused for a moment if they were your children. He always knew you wanted to be a mother and for what he saw he was sure you would be the best one out there. He wanted to forget about you he really did. But he was also sure life hated him. He wanted to rebuild his life and leave behind the damage he caused, but then there was you again in that fucking restaurant. And in that moment he knew all too well it would drive him insane. And he felt like it. He believed it.

The girl notices he wasn’t paying attention to her. Charles was playing with his glass of whiskey. Her face looked annoyed and disappointed. Charles didn’t care. She told him she needed to go to the bathroom and disappeared for the rest of the night. He drank his whole glass in one take. He just wanted to drown in alcohol right there and vaish from life. From everyone who knew him.

He saw Carlos dancing la macarena with his group of spanish friends that came for the holidays. He was enjoying himself around. Rebecca, his girlfriend, was there as well, matching hia freak. And for a moment he felt something he never felt before and he didn't like it at all. He felt envious. He wanted to have his life. Be him. Have the girl of his dreams dancing around with him. His friends were here but not with him. And he didn’t even like to dance. And don't have anyone to have sex with. Then he felt miserable. Angry with life itself.he was disappointed. He felt he let down everyone in his life. And the proof was that damn book she wrote. He was a coward. And everyone knew about it; they just didn't know it was him all along. And when the truth comes out then his life will be ended.

He swallowed hard and stood up to grab more whiskey. This time he was drinking from the bottle. He pushed himself aside from the party and sat near the pool even if he was freezing. He didn’t care anymore if he got sick or died. He was extreme. He looked at your balcony and wanted to cry. He wanted to cry like a child. Throw punches and scream. He felt there was no way to fix his life. He regretted breaking you so much. He always knew this was everything to you. You were so caring and always there for him and his whole family. He also knew he broke his mum. She loves you deeply. You were like her daughter, the one she never had. The one he and dad would have loved to have if they could choose the sex of their children. Remembering his dad broke him. He started crying. If he was here he knew he would be disappointed in him. Not because of his career (he made history) but because he isn’t with a good woman. He doesn't have kids either. And he now believed he didn't even have a future.

He looked again at your balcony. The lights were off. He didn’t know if you were there or not. If you had a lover. Or even if you have him blocked on social media. And that’s when curiosity won over him. What if he tried to search for your name on instagram? He was sure someone he knew, knew you as well. Monaco is too little to not have those coincidences on the daily.

He searched the first letters of your name and then saw that his ex, alexandra followed you. He felt weird about it and his face showed confusion with his eyebrows. He clicked on your profile and started stalking you. You still paint and have a piano. You used to play piano together. Actually, you taught him. You were the best professor he had ever had. He smiled looking at pictures of random dogs you found on the streets and with your nephews. You built a new family away from your actual family. That made him happy for a second. He knew after both of your parents died, you didn’t get along so well with your siblings. But he didn’t know if it was still like that. He saw how successful you were. How your book was a bestseller and how it would be a movie produced by universal. He was surprised. He would have never expected this outcome. Back in the day you were an art teacher for children and had a studio where you gave those lessons. Children loved you so much. He remembered their bright smiles when the parents came around to pick them up. He admired you so much for it. He even fantasizes that one day that face so bright and happy will be the one your children will have everytime they look at their mother. He wanted to be a father with you. But then alex came around and fucked it all up. Or well he actually did. And he still couldn’t understand why he did it.

Alex Was beautiful, he couldn’t deny that. She also loved him dearly. She was in love with him. And he thought he was with her. But then everything spiraled down and collapsed. He met her at that partymax verstappen threw to celebrate he was an official f1 driver for red bull. He invited everyone he ever met along his life. You couldn’t go because you had to take an exam the following morning. And that’s when it happened. She was dancing with her group of friends. She also had a boyfriend. And we talked and sparks were there. And then Charles got all confused. And they kissed. And he had already cheated by the time he realized that it was wrong. And then he couldn't stop. And his life went to shit.

He didn’t realize he was sobbing until he felt his teardrops stain his creme pants. He was using a fancy outfit. He looked really good. But as everything he touched, he also ruined that too in that moment. And because he was so busy feeling miserable, he didn’t realize the police were already at carlos’ door wanting to shut down the party. I mean, it was a tuesday night of a working week after all.

⋆˚࿔ 𝜗𝜚˚⋆

When Charles got closer to Carlos, he was already shouting at the police officers like a crazy man. He was drunk for sure and the policeman knew about it too. No perfume will ever smell like that. Not in Monaco of course.

“Then tell me, who will call? I need to know who to call. I never do parties and then once I do I can't and it’s not fair. I need to know who called you, it's my right as a citizen "Carlos was verbose and angry.

“Carlos it’s okay, how much should we pay you to let us have a party?” Charles intervenes trying to look not drunk at all but failing in each word. Police men looked at each other, annoyed by these two men.

“That would be a crime, sir” the police officer with a beard that looked disgusting in charles’ opinion, answered him. He kind of felt offended.

“Then who it was!!” Carlos was losing it and Charles was scared they would take him to jail right there.

“Your neighbor” the other one talked now pointing his fingers to his right. His right.

Your house was at his right. You called the cops. At that moment he felt he was about to faint. He was sure he was white. The policemen looked at him weird. Carlos then started walking. If you were in a cartoon show he would have smoke coming out his head right now. He walked fast towards your hose. Charles panicked and followed him desperate. Carlos started banging your door so he could tell you things.

“Carlos, nono. Let’s just go home, c’mon "Charles tried to convince Carlos but he was determined and ignored him. He won’t let you ruin his party. His celebration. His opportunity to present a woman for his friend to be happy. The one he taught you ruined. Becausehe couldn’t be over you. And he saw all of this as if you were now not letting him be able to in a very twisted way.

Charles was scared and worried when he saw your light turning on by the minute. His eyes wanting to leave his face when he saw you in your marvel pajamas again. Your hair was a mess and your face had the darkest circles under your eyes. Your face puffy as if you were crying or you did before you went to sleep and then they woke you up. No he felt as guilty as when he realized he left the love of his life stuck in that fucking restaurant you both loved so much.

“What the fuck is wrong with you bitch? Huh? Stop torturing my friend!” carlos said aggressively the moment he saw you when you opened the door.

⋆˚࿔ TO BE CONTINUED 𝜗𝜚˚⋆

chapter six: coming soon.

tag list: @a-beaverhausen , @annaluna12 , @thehoplessromanticclub , @emryb , @hadids-world , @kaztheemyth , @freyathehuntress , @diorbrxtz , @theseerbetweenus , @sie17136 , @leila-030304 , @charlesgirl16 , @ricciardosheart , @weekendlusting

author’s note: hope you all have a merry christmas ❤️ and that you like this chapter as much as I do !

thank you everyone for reading and sharing what I write. I really really appreciate it!

if you wanna be part of the tag list just leave a comment!

see you on the next chapter :)

Don’t forget to like, reblog or comment! And follow me so we can be friends! (And drink mate together) <3

[cxvii666]

“morning sex”

college au! satoru gojo x reader

cw: bad language, recreational drug use (oops), mentions of drinking, sex, and other overage things

no smut i was just inspired by the song

wc: 1.1k

“i got too many problems i put off still. for the morning, i'm thinking bout your body.”

oh, the sun feels so good on his bare back, the rays of light dancing along like little fairies warming his body from the outside in. soft music playing in the background, the sound of the birds chirping, satoru gojo nestles into his surprisingly soft pillow and takes a deep sigh.

he's so warm. he could stay here forever.

his pale eyelashes flutter as he stirs and groans, not ready to be woken up from his peaceful moment. probably the best night of sleep he's ever had.

as he becomes more lucid, he inhales softly, and his nose crinkles. what the hell is that smell? it’s becoming more pungent the more his eyes open.

“you alright down there, bud?”

satoru’s eyes fly open and he looks down to see that his super soft pillow is your silky soft, creamy, brown thigh.

bare.

the gulp gets caught in his throat as he trails his head up to where your sat against your headboard, mid-yawn, in a mass of blankets, slightly rumpled and widely amused, looking down at where he's laying.

in between your legs.

the mild panic in his eyes makes you roll your own, as you tap out the ash on your joint. “relax, would you. we didn’t do anything last night if that’s what you’re thinking.”

last night...

satoru can feel the oncoming hangover as he tries to recall. last night? what the fuck happened? he can remember, heavy baselines, drunk cigarettes, laughing at shoko falling down the stairs, suguru laughing at him tumbling down the same staircase, umm, maybe a dare to chug a monster shot of straight vodka.

but you?

he’s trying his best to remember you, but the images in his head are all fuzzy. but if he’s here, in what looks to be your bed, then something must’ve happened, right?

one look at his puzzled face and you start snickering. it isn’t mean, actually, the sound is kind of pleasing to his ears, but it doesn’t feel any less like you’re not making fun of him.

“look at your face,” you snort and use your free hand to itch under your bonnet, “you don’t remember me at all, d'you?”

he scoffs. “of course i remember you,” his blue eyes squint in concentration, trying to picture where he’s seen your face before. “you’re, uhh, one of shoko’s friends, no?”

this time you actually laugh, and it really feels like you’re laughing at him. “no.” you stretch and sit up a bit more against your pillows. “nah, i have classes with your boy, suguru geto?”

“my boy?”

you push air out of your nose in an amused huff. the sunlight makes your face glow, “he’s not your boy?”

“he’s—yeah,” satoru clears his throat, so that’s where he remembers you from, you’re one of suguru’s friends, ‘what the fuck is going on?’, “yeah, we’re boys.”

“yeah, exactly.” you look really composed, maybe this is a common thing for you, or maybe satoru’s still out of it. “could you, maybe, stop that thing you’re doing with your hands? it’s kind of tickling me.”

satoru looks down to where his long, pale fingers have been tracing circles on your bare thigh. your skin is really soft. he flexes his fingers then reaches up to brush the sleep knots out of his hair. he thinks he’s being sly, but you notice his gaze crawl up your leg. you are wearing underwear, huh, and he checks himself quickly—he’s still wearing the joggers he had on last night.

“i like your pokémon boxers,” is all he says, he’s teasing, getting a rise out of people is what he does best.

he notes how your eyes crinkle as you half-smirk, then you move your leg to the side so his head goes smack into your mattress.

he takes the L and lies there face down for a minute until he hears you shuffle. when he looks back up at you with his piercing blue gaze, you’ve got a lighter in your hand and are resparking your joint.

he crinkles his nose again. “inside, really?”

you gesture your head to the doorway and satoru’s heart drops for a second because he thinks you’re about to ask him to leave, but then he sees the rolled-up towel jammed in the gap between the door and floor. you then lazily point to the incense stick lit on your bedside and reply with a yawn. “it’s all about technique, really. besides, the window’s open so hopefully, the smell won’t stick.”

you regard him curiously and wave the joint in front of satoru’s face with a playful lilt. “you want a pull?”

“i haven’t brushed my teeth.”

“c’monnnn, it’ll help with your hangover, maybe relax you a bit too.”

“i am perfectly relaxed,” he snarks as he takes the joint from you, purely to prove a point but, he really means it.

he is relaxed. more than he's been in a long time. the haze of your room is so soft and warm. the sunrise streaming in from blinds mixed with the soft music playing on your speakers paints the perfect scene. and damn, he's perfectly content to stay in your bed all day.

he locks eyes with you, like he's challenging you or something, as he takes a long drag. “so, you sure we didn’t do anything?”

your eyebrow raises as you huff, “wow, d'you really not remember?”

he shakes his head, you can smell his embarrassment.

“i’m not surprised. you guys got mad crossfaded, and then geto ditched you to go link up with the hot girl he’s been talking about.”

“no way? he ditched me for tongue-piercing girl?” he mutters, though his tone lacks any bite at his friend’s betrayal. “fucking bastard.”

“yeah, i bet.” you scoff at him and relax into your pillow. “you weren’t complaining yesterday though, all up in my personal space, kept trying to steal my vape. your rizz could use some work.”

“that was not rizz.”

“no, it really wasn’t- ” you say pointedly, he pinches your thigh with his free hand, and you swat him away. “watch it, and don’t get ash on my bed covers.”

he rolls his eyes and holds down his cough, gesturing for you to continue.

“but yeah,” you sniff. “we were both hella drunk, to be fair. made out for a bit, got to about second base, and then you passed out.”

“i passed out?!” he coughs, like violently. you take pity and pass him your water bottle.

“what? oh, not like pass out pass out. you just fell asleep."

“you don't mean-” satoru clears his throat, his eyes dropping to way your thigh curves, and his fingers tingle with the phantom sense of your bare silky skin, “i fell asleep before we could-”

“mhm.”

“oh, damn.”

“mhm...”

“clearly, you weren’t that exciting if I fell asleep in the middle of—ow," you smack the back of his neck, “okay, what the fuck, calm down woman, it was a joke.”

“whatever. you want the last pull?”

satoru lays back down shakes his head no and you, ever so softly, run your free hand through his hair, gently detangling.

he leans into your touch.

as the paper burn down to the roach, he props himself and watches you toss it in the tray.

“that’s cute.” the ceramic ashtray on your nighstand.

“thank you, i made it myself.”

“cool.”

“you hungry?”

“mhmmm.”

“you wanna get brunch?”

“sounds good to me.”

[gretavanlace]

Softer, Softest

Josh Kiszka x reader

18+ only! Minors do not interact!

Warnings: sexual content, language, slight angst, penetration, cockwarming, etc

Okay, the quickest of blurbs (under 1k) because I have neglected my josh lane lovelies so, so terribly. I received a request for bad day/comfort josh but now I can’t find the ask. Did I answer it and forget? Perhaps. Who knows? Anyway, this is just a fast fix, but I promise a full length josh fic is right around the corner ❤️

Josh is lounging across the living room couch, battered paperback in hand, when you push open the front door with a clattering of keys and the thunk of your bag hitting the floor.

”Stay there.” You implore, when he moves to stand in greeting. Just the sight of his face, so beautiful and bright-white love, has tears threatening in your eyes.

He notices right away, and his own eyes turn wide with concern, “What is it, dove? What happened?”

”Nothing.” You shake your head adamantly as you kick off your heels, leaving them where they don’t belong in a way you normally never would, “Nothing I want to talk about, anyway. I just had a shitty day, and I missed you.”

”C’mere, baby…” his voice is soothing, lulling you like a melody as he pats his thigh, “Come sit.”

Hiking your pencil skirt up enough to straddle his lap, you settle in against him with a sigh of content. He is warm, and he is home.

His palm strokes up and down your back, wrinkling the silk of your shirt under its weight, “I’m sorry you had a bad day. How can I help? Are you hungry? I could make you something. Or draw a bath with those salts you like, read to you?”

You shake your head against his shoulder with a heavy sigh, “No. This. I want this.”

”Alright,” you can hear the soft smile in his tone, he is pleased to be what you want in your moment of struggle, no matter how small.

Fingers crawling upward, he squeezes at the clip tucked into your hair and releases it, then scratches lightly at your scalp to give you a shiver.

”That feels nice.” You murmur, nuzzling into his neck until he is all you can smell.

”Here,” he whispers, gently nudging your shoulders, “sit up a little.”

You do as he says and study his lovely face as he concentrates on working the buttons of your shirt before pushing it off of you. Next pop the clasps of your bra, and the bliss of being free of it sends another delicate shiver undulating up your spine.

“There we go, dove.” He pets at your hair again and then pulls you back in, blunt nails lazily tracing your back until you feel like glittering liquid in his embrace.

”Thank you, Josh.” Your lips brush against his soft skin as you speak, “I’m sorry.”

”What are you sorry for?” He asks, matching your quiet as his hands continue to coddle you.

”For being a baby.”

”You are a baby,” he reminds you, words filled right up with love. “You’re my baby.”

Suddenly, your heart feels too big for your chest. How did you ever get so lucky? Do you even deserve him? Certainly not…no one does. “I love you. I love you so much. I just want to disappear inside you and live there forever.”

He laughs at this, that tiny giggle that melts you right down to your toes every time it peeks out, “Isn’t it usually the other way around? Me disappearing inside you?”

You giggle to match him, “Classy, Joshua.”

”I am but a caveman,” his fingers swirl circles into the dimples of your lower back, “a disgusting specimen of the lesser species.”

Another laugh flits off your tongue. You know he is trying to cheer you up, and as always…it’s working. “You are no such thing. You’re so good to me.”

A comfortable silence creeps in, but your mind is working overtime. His comment, me disappearing inside you, playing on an endless loop until you can’t stand it any longer.

”Hey,” your voice is meek, timid and unsure, as you toy nervously with the mala beads looped around his neck.

”Hmm?” He pecks a tender kiss into your hair.

”Am I really your baby?” Why do you feel so shy about this? Normally you’re adventurous and even more outgoing than he is, which is really saying something. But right now you feel…inexplicably bashful.

“Of course you’re my baby,” his lips are pressing kisses against your head again as he audibly breathes in the scent of your hair.

“Can you…” you twist those cool, smooth beads around in your fist idly, “I want…”

”You want what, dove?” He soothes your nerves with that loving lilt laced through his tone, “Tell me. I’ll make it happen. I’ll give it to you.”

”I want to be closer to you,” your words breathe into his ear just before your teeth sink gently into his silken lobe.

He knows. He somehow always knows.

“Lift up, baby bird.” His voice, rasping with subdued lust and stark devotion, needles at your heart until your head swims.

You rise up on your knees and watch on as he tugs your skirt up even higher and then pulls at the waistband of his pants.

You lovingly tease him about these khakis and their elastic waist. You call them his ‘dad pants’ just to watch him become uncharacteristically crass and grab his crotch with a ‘I’ve got your daddy right here, dove’. But right now? Right now you’re more than grateful for the lack of buttons and zippers for him to contend with.

With your gaze fixed on his gorgeous cock, he sweeps your panties to the side and eases you down onto it. Hissing as the heat of your cunt envelopes him.

”Is that better, baby?” He asks shakily, once you’re seated in his lap, filled up tight and snug with him.

“Much.”

You relax fully in his arms and it tugs at his heart-strings, making him even more completely fucking gone for you. He would set this whole world on fire if you felt even a little bit chilly.

A haunting, calming song begins to hum out of him, the vibration of it purring from his chest and straight into your heart.

”You sound so pretty,” you praise, cheek pressed just beneath his throat until the weight of the world seems to lift away and disappear.

”And you feel so pretty, dove.” He’s lightly scratching your back again, coddling you into a haze. “Softer than satin absolutely everywhere. Inside and out. Soft here,” the back of his hand brushes down your arm, “softer here,” his thumb kisses your lips, “softest here.” His hips lift ever so lightly.

Without waiting for a response, he begins humming to you again…guiding you gingerly into sleep while he rests, safely nestled inside you.

Taglist: @gretasintrees @greta-van-chaos @celestialfauna @s0livagant @groggyvanfleet @kiszkathecook @brokenbellz @llightmyllovee @doodle417 @seventieswhore @jake-kiszkas-smirk @weightofdreams-gvf @imdepressedaf1996 @alisonwonderland29 @gretavanfleas @gretavangroove @sparrowofthedawn @xserenax-13 @tbagggvf @obetrolncocktails @jakeslovehandles @poofyloofy @70sgroupielovr @heatmyfleet @sammiboo162 @spicedandicedtea @jakekiszkasleftnutsack @saoirsemaeve @mywickeddivinity @lvnterninthenight @paintmyhouse @tripthelightfandomtastic @mckenna4 @sarakay-gvf @theweightofjake @thewritingbeforesunrise @joshsmama @sammysvanfeet @rhythm-of-space @highladyofasgard @calumspretty @sad1lynn @demolitionndann @gvfpal @starcatcher-jake @gretavangroupie @hugorobinson @jaketlove @josh-iamyour-mama @alwaysonthemend

[sweetestcaptainhughes]

Hi can I please get “No more dogs. How hard it it to understand?” With Luke Hughes like he comes home from a roadtrip and reader gets another dog

oh my gosh I swear this happened to one of my friends in real life except it was me who was like "no more pets." In a year her and boyfriend went from 0 animals to 4 dogs and 4 cats. I just get overstimulated going to their house. I hope this is what you wanted because as someone who loves both cats and dogs and really all animals I had to end it this way.

Drabble Materlist

"No more dogs. How hard is it to understand?"

When you met Luke you already had a dog who was like your first born child. He was the first pet you ever got on your own and you loved him with everything. To say this dog was spoiled would be the same thing as saying the sky is blue, it was fact and everyone knew it. But that didn't stop you nor Luke when he moved in with you.

Thankfully your dog loved Luke but you noticed more and more how sad your dog became when Luke was on roadies. He was probably just feeding off into your energy because you did miss Luke tremendously when he was away.

So you did the only logical thing you could think of you went to your local shelter with your two-year old husky and adopted another dog. It made sense because you actually found got your first dog when you were going through a hard time and he helped bring you happiness. So it only made sense to get another dog now.

Luke and you had both talked about possibly getting another dog so you didn't feel bad about not talking to him first. At the shelter was a beautiful 6 month year old Bernese Mountain Poodle mix, as soon as you saw him you knew he was coming home with you. That night Luke came home and you surprised him with the new addition to your little growing family.

"Luke i have a surprise for you." you exclaimed as he didn't look up at you yet still barely two steps in the door as your dog was already attacking him begging for Luke's undivided attention.

"oh yeah?" he asked the happiness he felt from finally being home, radiating in his voice. He finally looked up and saw you were holding your new puppy. Luke's mouth was left ajar as he starred at you in shock before his brain processed what was happening.

"Is he ours?" he asked as he slowly started to approach you, your dog still barking excited about what was happening.

"hmmm. I got him today, at the shelter." As you watched Luke slowly take the puppy out of your arms and into his own.

"What's his name?"

"I haven't named him, I wanted to do it together." you shyly admitted.

"What if we fuck with Quinn and name him Huggy?" he asks, somehow a wider smile on his face. "you know cause he's so cuddly and Quinn's had been chirping me a lot during off season?"

"whatever you want honey." As you both crawled on the floor to play with your new puppy.

"But no more dogs okay? We only have a two bedroom apartment and I don't even think were allowed to have a second pet with our lease." He says seriously, all you do is nod because you don't need any more animals.

Well, until it was a 3 months later and you had a really hard week at work and Luke was away again. You told yourself you were just gonna go to the shelter to play with some puppies and not get any. But then you found a little kitten that looked adorable and so scared. The little guy reminded you so much of the kitten you were growing up. Of course you had to the little guy, and technically you didn't go against Luke's request it wasn't a dog, he was a cat.

Deciding not to tell Luke and to let him find out in person again. He came home 3 days later and you were in the living room getting your dogs use to the cat slowly, making sure everyone was getting along. Although you have to admit you didn't think you would have to do exposure therapy for Luke as well until you heard him walk in."

"Y/N!" he yelled slightly, you whinced realizing you must of gotten the time mixed up of when he was going to be home because you wouldn't of introduced your cat this way.

"Hi Lukey." you say softly turning around to see a very annoyed and even disappointed Luke.

"No more. How hard is that to understand?" he asked his jaw slightly tensed.

"Well technically you said no more dogs, and this little guy is a cat." you reasoned and let at a sigh in relief as Luke realized the play on words.

"I hate your brain sometimes. You knew what I meant."

"But am I wrong?" you asked a slight smile on your face.

"No." he mumbled arms still crossed as you slowly made your way across the cat still in your arms looking up at Luke curiously. "Do i get to name him?" he asked.

"Sure."

"Jax." he said immediately.

You couldn't help but to laugh as you asked "why?"

"Because it isn't a nickname of Jack's like Huggy is for Quinn, but it's still so close to Jack. It will piss him off and I find that funny."

"So does this mean I get to keep him?" you asked hopefully.

"Yeah but this time I mean it no more animals Y/N"

"Damn it. you know I've always wanted a turtle." you joke as Luke gives you a look that says 'don't even try.' But you can't help the smile that forms on your lips because when you got your first dog at 18 you never thought this is where live would lead you.

[boytearscore]

why can’t i hate you? — matt sturniolo & chris sturniolo.

summary: being best friends with chris and nick meant the world to you, it also meant you had to deal with their brother’s hate, rudeness, eye rolls, mean comments and coldness all the time. but that didn’t bother you, in fact, it was actually always a pleasure to annoy the shit out of him constantly.

warnings: swearing, enemies to lovers, best friends to lovers, love triangle (not threesome), toxic behavior, angst, comedy, possible smut and of course, strong female lead.

taglist: @sleepysturniolo, @soshere, @spideylovin, @calisturniolo, @ilovecheese09.

author’s note: this chapter was an intense one, hope you guys enjoy reading it just as much i enjoyed writing it. don’t forget to leave your thoughts down below the comments, and of course, have fun!

chapter one here.

chapter two.

chris was the first one to get out of bed, meaning he just open his eyes after trying to sleep the whole night. he didn’t get a fucking blink of rest. first because he was thinking about you, not being able to cope with the fact that he was partially responsible for making you feel at ease and sleep better which meant his touch and presence was good for you.

if his presence and care subconsciously calmed you down, that means it’s worth a shot, right?

he sighs, that leads to the second thing that kept him awake.

matt, of course. that was probably the first time they argued over a girl. they never had the same type, but this isn’t about type. it’s about you. and although he wasn’t sure if his brother had actual romantic feelings, the voice of intuition inside his head screamed yes over and over again.

he grabs his phone on the nightstand next to the bed and checks the time before opening titkok in order to make the thoughts go away, occasionally chuckling at some dumb weird ass videos on his for you page, but that wasn’t working as much as he wanted to. chris ponders for a while, staring at the ceiling and decides it’s best to take a shower, he throws his phone on the bed and slowly gets up, almost crawling to the bathroom.

the boy closes the door behind him, taking his clothes off and grabbing his toothbrush, immediately brushing his teeth as he goes start the shower head, stepping in and letting out a sigh of relief, the warm water relaxing the tense muscles of his back and shoulders. he suddenly catches himself thinking about last night again. both the good and bad events, you’ve been friends for so long and nothing like that happened before, sure, he already had a crush, but the urge to fight for you was definitely unforeseen.

he never thinks twice when it comes to fighting guys that are assholes to you, but that never happened because you knew how to defend yourself pretty well. as a matter of fact, that’s part of the reason why he’s so attracted to you, but that’s besides to point, the thing is that you’ve dated other guys before and he didn’t care about it, it was like he just came to terms with the fact that he never had a chance to begin with, he was convinced no guy will ever be good enough for you, not even him. that’s why he never said anything and… oh, right. also the fact that it could ruin your friendship completely.

however after last night, something changed that led to the conflict inside him. well, not something. someone. his own brother, for the first time in years he saw matthew acting without thinking. the matt from some days ago would never let you get to his head, not the mention the sudden move. he showed interest to literally no girls for a long time, but then tries to kiss you? the one he claims to despise to the core?

chris realized he has been there for more than 10 minutes and if nick finds out, he’d be dead. so, he finishes washing off the shampoo from his hair and the toothpaste foam from his lips, stepping out of the shower and wrapping a towel around his waist before walking over to the mirror and taking a glance at himself while placing his toothbrush inside the holder. he runs a hand through his wet hair falling over his eyes, pushing it back and opening the door still looking at the mirror.

“you’re such a narcissistic.” you said standing at the door frame of the bathroom, arms crossed and a smirk on the lips.

actually, you‘ve been awake for a while, but the house was quiet and you never leave the room when you guys have sleepovers before chris and nick does. you weren’t a very nice person right after waking up and facing matt’s comments in that state would actually turn gruesome really fast. the only reason why you got up was because god gave you the useless talent of distinguishing chris laughter by the way he squeaks. you’re quite proud of it, in secret, of course. knowing him, he was probably on tiktok before heading to the shower, you waited for a while and finally left the guest room exactly when he was about to get out of the bathroom.

your eyes were unconciously catching every detail of him, the wet hair he just brushed back and the few strings still falling over his eyes, making small water drops fall on his chest.

being the closest person to nick and chris probably meant that you already saw them leaving the bathroom after a shower using only a tower over their waist a million times right? wrong.

it’s in fact the first time you see so much of chris body, one thing is to see him shirtless on daily basis, and a whole different when he’s naked, just with a piece of cloth over his… dick.

of course you thought he was hot before, more like acknowledging it and not making it a big deal, after all, he was your best friend, but right now, that didn’t matter. you felt actual attraction to him, real bad. without thinking, you bite your lip, not being able to stop your eyes from casting down, admiring his well figured. his slightly defined torso, his collarbones, his lower stomach and then… his groin.

“like what you see?” his husky voice makes you avert gaze to his stupid cocky smirk, he knew you were thirsting over him.

“maybe.” you murmur smiling, you weren’t scared of exposing yourself, not now, not ever. nick and chris always tease you for having a flirty personality so your response wasn’t a surprise, wherever you start jokingly flirting with him, he would laugh and give right back to you, not taking it seriously.

but this time he didn’t laugh, he leaned closer to you without needing to actually walk, you both were already face to face, thanks to your decision to stand in the door frame, his post shower scent making a funny tingling sensation rush over your body.

chris swallows, his eyes fixed into yours. he loves the way you're always so bold, confident and fucking bossy. it’s a side of you he's seen often at parties you guys go to and even at hangouts, but he never experienced it being directed at him until now, and that makes his confidence grow more and more by second, so he decides to go for it, inclining his whole body against yours, standing so close that drops of water from his wet hair started falling on your chest making you shiver from the coldness. the towel over his waist didn’t not prevent you from looking down.

he catches your gaze drifting down to it before moving back up to his eyes. “sure, that’s definitely a maybe.” he smirks at you, clearly amused by the way you were salivating over him.

“it’s not a secret to anyone you’re hot, is it?” you raise a brow at him, arms crossed. his minty breath against your face making you wonder how good it would feel to kiss him.

“and yet you still feel like it's something worth pointing out." he lifts his hand and gently tugs on the collar of your tank top, pulling you even closer to the point where you actually felt his dick brushing against your stomach.

“meaning?” you know what he meant, but engaging the interaction was actually interesting. you were aware this was affecting him just as much it was affecting you.

chris looks down, his eyes meeting yours. his hand is still grasping the collar of your top, holding you closer to him.

“you know exactly what i mean.”

“i do.” you whisper, shivering with the closeness and following his gaze. “but i want you to say it.”

he glances down at your mouth, his eyes lingering there for a moment before looking back up at you. there’s not a chance of him backing down now, fuck his fears, fuck matt and fuck all of his worries from earlier. you managed to awaken a side of him no one else knew, not even him. he shrugs, a smirk tugging at the corner of his mouth, this time he only leans his head a bit closer, since it was almost impossible to get his body closer to yours. unfortnunelly.

he goes for your ear, lips brushing against your it as he asks. “you want me to say how much i know you're attracted to me?"

the sensation of his breath on your ear definitely got to you, it was one of your weakest spots and the asshole already knew that because you tell him everything.

but you couldn’t let him get away with it.

“no.” you let your hand cup his face, putting pressure around his chin with your fingers to turn his face to you. “i want you to admit how much you enjoyed the way i just looked at you.” your eyes glued to his and your signature smirk on the lips making him laugh in a mixture of surprise and lust at your forwardness.

“can’t say i didn’t.” you noticed his eyes darkened with a hint of lust when he dropped his gaze, wandering over your partly exposed chest, the tank top so tight he could see the tiny metal balls of your nipple piercings standout, chris feels goosebumps all over, his minding racing with the thought of taking your boobs into his mouth and licking the metallic taste of it while you moan his name. he lets out a soft gasp, the combination of the pressure of your fingers on his face and the friction of his dick brushing against your stomach not helping.

“like what you see?” you ask noticing how lost he was in thoughts and he frowns, feeling annoyed because you used his words against him. no matter how much anyone tries to make you lay your guard down, to get a shy reaction or even a stutter from you, it has never worked and he wanted badly to be the first one actually doing so, but he figured this wasn’t the timing. plus he was starting to get hard and if nick or matt walked on you both, things would get really awkward.

“there’s no winning against you, huh?” chris chuckles softly, taking a step back and you laugh a little trying to hide your disappointment from him.

“that’s because guys are weak.” you say loosening the grip on his chin and rolling your eyes, he just gives you a “whetever” face and heads to his room, pretending he wasn’t about to throw up his own heart.

you watch him until he gets to his room, a pleasant grin across your lips. all these years being friends with chris, he never really tried anything like that before. as a matter of fact, you didn’t even know he was so confident, he’s usually sweet and nonserious around you so that left you impressed and surprised… in a good way.

you shrug thinking that was definitely interesting and turns to the hall, the intention was to go to the living room but that didn’t go as planned when your face bumped aggressively into something hard as rock.

you hated that you instantly knew.

ever since last night's incident, tiny fragments got stuck with you. his scent, his presence and the warmth of his body. it's almost like you suddenly developed the power of being able to recognize him just by your skin touching his.

it was fucking matt.

you sigh, dealing with matthew right now wasn’t what you wanted. not because you felt intimidated by him, but because you didn’t want to play his little games today.

he gives you the usual mocking stare and smirk, crossing his arms.

here we go. you thought, ready to roll your eyes at whatever childish comment he was about to make and not engage.

but he just stood there for a while, arms folded, his usual stone cold demeanor ever present. he looked at you with a mix of irritation and annoyance, but beneath that, you could tell something else seemed to be lurking. for a second you thought he wasn’t gonna say anything and prepared yourself to go on your way, but his piercing gaze remained fixated on you, that made you stay for some reason.

and then he spoke.

“you can’t control your hormones or something?” he almost yelled. “always flirting with everyone, now even with chris.” matt laughs ironically and asks you. “isn’t that what they call a bop, though?”

you can’t help but laugh right back at him in the exact same tone, like, really loud.

of course he would use that term at some point, he was just like that type of guy. so you decided to play the game, anyways.

you get closer to him not giving a shit about how you were crossing his physical boundaries since he crossed yours first a night ago.

“not really.” you whisper to him, eyes piercing cold directly into his. “it’s called being confident and taking risks to enjoy life without denying your own true desires.” you lean even closer, not breaking eye contact for a second and giving him your best fake smile. “but what would you know about that, right?” at this point, the fake smile turned into a satisfied one with the feeling of already knowing that what you were about to say was gonna make him incredibly mad. “you couldn’t even admit to yourself how much you wanted to kiss me last night and just ran away to your room like a pussy.” you scoff and walk to the living room still looking at him as you leave, letting a dumbfounded matt behind.

chris was right.

there’s no winning against you. and never will be.

[yesimwriting]

Felix would wear best friend!readers shirts as crop tops

a/n the more i think about this, the realer it is,, here's a little shirt borrowing drabble to tide you all over as i finish a longer request

also pls excuse any typos,, currently have to write with a wrist brace 😭

----

"Oh my god."

Felix is leaning against the doorframe with an ease that implies nothing but innocence. His eyebrows pull together. "What?"

Despite his easy going demeanor, the last syllable of his question has his voice pitching upwards. The smile tugging at the edge of his lips confirms your suspicions. He knows. "You know what."

"I'm just waiting to be invited in."

You glare, crossing your arms in front of your chest. He leans closer, eyes begging you to believe that he has no idea what you're implying. With a sigh, you step back.

Felix accepts the space you provide, entering your room. You move to sit at the foot of your bed. "You're unbelievable."

He grins fully, sitting next to you. "What?" Felix sets a hand against your knee. "My shirt?"

"My shirt," you correct, "My favorite shirt, that I've been looking for."

Felix's thumb brushes against the start of your thigh. He already knew that this was one of your favorites, which was part of its appeal, but you have to be exaggerating. He's only had this shirt for a few days, and you hadn't mentioned anything.

He leans back, the too short fabric stretching with the motion, exposing more of his lower torso. It's not a scandalous amount of skin, but it's suggestive enough to have you keeping your focus on your lap. "No you haven't."

You scoff, ignoring the warmth attempting to crawl up your neck, "What do you mean 'no I haven't'?"

Felix fully relaxes, his back flat against your bed. "I've had it for days, and you haven't--"

"Days?" You turn your head, giving yourself a moment to just glare at him before laying down."So not only did you steal it, you remember when you took it?"

He tilts his head, looking at you through his lashes. "Stealing? Is that what we're calling it?"

You sigh. "Next time, just tell me before you take something."

Felix shifts onto his side, moving his hand to pinch the excess fabric of your shirt between his fingers. "Like you told me before taking this?"

Oh. You blink, lighthearted annoyance morphing into something more concrete. He's not wrong, technically. You are wearing one of his shirts, but it's not like it was intentional. Today, your priority had been being comfortable. It's not your fault he owns some of the softest shirts to ever exist and...it happened to smell nice. Comforting. Like Felix.

His fingers are still playing with the hem of your shirt. "You gave it to me awhile ago. It's different."

He twists the fabric, the material shifting enough to reveal the start of your hip. Felix hums in pretend contemplation. "Really? I gave it to you?"

"Yes."

Felix's fingertips brush against the newly expose skin. The contact is light, a barely there thing that makes it hard to keep breathing evenly. You turn your head, taking in Felix's appearance. The shirt's smaller on him than on you, more form fitting around his chest and arms than yours, and shorter. It doesn't look bad, though, if anything...

You straighten your neck, focusing your gaze on the ceiling. "It does look good on you."

"Yeah?" His grin is audible. "How good?"

You roll your eyes. "You already know you're hot, you don't need me to say it."

Oh. No. You feel your mistake instantly.

Felix's hand settles against your hip. "You think I'm hot?"

Despite the heat making its way up your chest, you continue to stare ahead. "I think that we're not in middle school and that this doesn't have to be a thing."

"No, not a thing, just two hot people--talking, stealing each other's clothes."

You groan. Felix laughs, his thumb dragging across your skin. He's insufferable. "I'm never being nice to you again."

----

taglist; @vader-is-hot @spiritofbuddha @getosangie @freyafriggafrey @ilovehyperfixating @aryiannarae @willowpains

[querenciasturniolo]

never really over ⮕ m.s.

word count: 3.3k

warnings: swearing, angst, mention of a breakup, crying, self doubt

summary: „thought we kissed goodbye, thought we meant this time, was the last, but i guess it’s never really over”

a/n: this song played at work the other day and i started daydreaming, so here’s this LMAOOO. this song SCREAMS summer and lemme tell you, i’m so fucking sick of winter. also the picture of matt gives me heart palpitations, so enjoy.

everything written is completely fictional. the people i write for are written with characteristics and mannerisms that i made for them, this is in no way depicting what would actually happen in real life.

You knew coming home this summer was a stupid idea. Standing across the bonfire, staring directly into the dimly illuminated face you hadn’t seen in person in two years, you felt as though there was a pull screaming at you to move towards him. He hadn’t seen you yet, he was too busy laughing quietly at his brothers and a friend of his you weren’t particularly close with when the two of you were together. You, on the other hand, haven’t been able to keep your eyes off of him since you’d gotten to the party half an hour ago. It felt surreal, being in his space again after so long. It felt as though it was just yesterday you had your arms wrapped around him, your tears soaking the front of his shirt as he comforted you for the last time.

It seemed the only thing you and Matt were good at was breaking up, since it happened more often than not. Every other week you would decide that you didn’t deserve Matt and the two of you would call it quits. Then, a few days later, he’d show up at your door. He wouldn’t leave until the cycle repeated itself, but you knew he’d be back. You guys were never really over, after all.

You thought the last time you two said goodbye truly was the last time, considering you were going off to college and he was staying with his brothers to continue their YouTube career. You always knew he’d make it. Matt and his brother’s were the most genuine people you’d ever met, and it always transferred over into their videos. You watched them periodically while you were away at college, when missing him hurt so bad that you knew if you didn’t alleviate it somehow, you’d call him, and you couldn’t do that to him. The two of you promised each other that the last time was the last time, to keep the both of you from hurting each other. But seeing him only thirty feet away from you had your skin crawling in a familiar way you hadn’t felt in years.

“Who are you staring at?”

You jumped and whipped your head to the side, sighing and shaking your head when you met Nate’s eyes.

“Nothing, Nate. No one.” You said, clearing your throat and not letting your stare flicker back to Matt. You watched in horror as Nate’s eyebrows furrowed and he tracked your previous gaze until realization spread across his face.

“Matt, huh?” He asked, his voice casual as he slowly met your eyes. You hated the look on his face. It was almost as if he pitied you and your pathetic staring, which you couldn’t blame him. You scoffed and shook your head.

“No, I’m clearly staring at Dylan. What do you think?” You asked sarcastically, running a hand over your face to try and hide your embarrassment. You knew he meant well, but everyone always meant well, and they made you feel insane. They all had the same silent question; why couldn’t you just let him go? It’s been two fucking years, why did looking at him now feel the same as it did then? Your chest ached with how hard your heart was pumping against your ribcage. Goosebumps stayed prominent on every inch of your body just knowing he was so close to you. “I’m sorry, Nate. That was rude.” You said softly, moving your hand and sighing into the cool evening air.

Nate didn’t seem to take it to heart, he never really did. He was there for the entirety of your relationship with Matt, and unfortunately, he was one of the only few people who witnessed the aftermath. He’d answer your midnight texts, and when you were in town during breaks that first year of college, he’d pick you up from your house at three in the morning just for the two of you to drive around and blast music to keep your mind from racing.

“It’s been hard for him too.” He said, which was not at all what you were expecting him to say. You met his eyes with furrowed brows, though not a single one of his tells was showing. It was still hard to believe, considering how much of a mess you were when you went off to college and Matt moved to LA. Your teeth sunk into your bottom lip as you processed what he said, your heart telling you he’s genuine, but your mind telling you he’s just trying to make you feel better.

“What makes you say that?” You asked, your voice almost breathless as Nate scoffed and shrugged his shoulders.

“Oh, I dunno. Maybe the fact that I’ve known the kid for forever and we talk every single day.” He stated, your features dropping into a blank stare as he shook his head and glanced back over in Matt’s direction. You couldn’t bring yourself to look that way again, otherwise you’d be walking towards him immediately. “You’re allowed to talk to him, you know?” He said after a short while, meeting your eyes again with a soft smile. You knew he meant well, and you knew he was right, but the thought of walking over to Matt and him not wanting to talk to you had you shaking your head fervently.

“I know I can, but I also can’t. Besides, he doesn’t want to talk to me.” You said, your eyes flickering over in Matt’s direction once more. He was gone from his spot, Nick and Chris and the friend you couldn’t think of were still talking away as you furrowed your brows.

“Who doesn’t want to talk to you?”

You froze in place, your chest warming and your body relaxing the moment his voice washed over you completely. When you turned around, it felt as though a swarm of butterflies were flying behind your ribcage and hitting every single corner and bouncing off. There was no doubt in your mind he could hear it, no matter how impossible that seemed. Your eyes met the familiar cool blue, and you were back in every single moment you’d spent with him. He was smiling the same smile he always gave you, his eyes crinkling slightly as they flickered over your more than likely shocked face.

“How have you been?” He asked, his eyes meeting yours once more as you fought your useless brain to say something—anything to him.

“I’ve been alright.” You finally said, your heart hammering in your chest as your own lips stretched into a smile against your will. You couldn’t help it, he always had that effect on you. “What about you?”

Matt sighed through his nose, his shoulders dropping a few centimeters as the two of you began to fully relax again in each other’s presence. “I’ve been okay.” He said breathily, his eyebrows twitching inward as he studied you. “Were you talking about me to Nate?” He asked, the slightest hint of teasing in his voice. You snickered and shook your head, dropping your eyes to the grass below you.

“You were listening?” You teased back, lifting your head again. You couldn’t meet his eyes, so you studied his shirt. It was a simple flannel, similar to the one most of the guys at the bonfire were wearing to keep warm on this chilly Boston night. He grinned and nodded his head, dropping his eyes to his shoes right as you felt brave enough to look at him.

“Can you blame me?” He asked, his eyes meeting yours once more through his eyelashes. Your breath caught in your throat. That familiar pull was working against you without you realizing it, the space between the two of you had dwindled enough that you could feel the heat from his body, you could see the push and pull of his breaths and the rise and fall of his chest. Fuck, you missed him.

“How’s Los Angeles?” You asked dumbly, wanting to smack yourself as he inhaled softly and shrugged.

“Warm, sunny, crazy.” He mumbled. There was something in his eyes you couldn’t quite place, and it was driving you nuts. Two years ago you’d be able to tell what he was thinking just by the way he breathed, but you were out of practice. “How’s college?” He countered. You shrugged in return, a playful smile forming on your lips.

“Stressful, expensive, exhausting.” You said. Matt rolled his eyes and shook his head. His eyes were nothing but fond as they scanned over your face slowly. A million thoughts were racing through your mind at once, but all you could do was keep looking at him like it was the last time you ever would.

The two of you were silent for only a few heartbeats, the both of you just basking in the other’s presence for the first time since that last goodbye. He was the first to speak, and it took everything in you not to fall into his arms at the warmth and sincerity in his voice.

“I missed you.” His voice was only a few decibels above a whisper, but those three words were screaming in your mind the moment they left his mouth. You weren’t the only one wanting, yearning, wishing, hoping, praying, waiting. He missed you. He missed you. Your composure crumbled slightly, and you couldn’t help but smile sadly at him.

“Fuck.” You whispered, running your hands over your face and closing your eyes. “I missed you, too.” You said. Before you could open your eyes, you were pulled into his arms and against his chest. You couldn’t believe you were worried about the beating of your own heart as you listened to the rapid thumping of his against your ear. Like it was second nature, you wrapped your arms around his neck and stood on your toes to fully embrace him like you used to. Your face rested in the crook of his neck, the skin warm against the chilled tip of your nose.

He felt the same—the same warm chest and tight arms making you feel safe, the same familiar scent of vanilla bourbon soap and laundry detergent with the smallest hint of campfire, the same gentle movement of his thumb lightly caressing your back. You relaxed completely against him, his grip on you the only thing keeping you from sliding down his body and laying limp in the grass. He was so familiar, so comfortable, so fucking safe that you never wanted your embrace to end.

“Matty?” You asked, a shiver running down his spine when the warm breath from your lips puffed against his skin. He hummed in reply, swaying softly with you to the quiet music playing from someone’s car speakers. “This is gonna fuck everything up for us, isn’t it?” He didn’t pull away from you, like you expected. He didn’t stiffen either, which was odd. His lips pressed lightly against the top of your head, a soft sigh leaving your lips as you somehow relaxed further.

“I don’t care.” He whispered. You pulled back to meet his eyes, your pulse deafening in your ears as you searched for anything on his face that wasn’t sincere. Matt never broke eye contact with you, a small smile forming on his lips. “I’m being serious. These last two years have fucking sucked, and I don’t care if we fuck it up because I missed you. Can we forget about saying goodbye, just tonight?” He asked. He sounded almost breathless, begging you for just one night together like old times.

Before you could say anything, his eyes were flickering to your lips and he was leaning in. You gasped lightly, his lips barely brushing against yours as your eyes fluttered closed. Warmth completely enveloped you the moment you tightened your arms around his neck and closed the space between the two of you, the cool summer night completely forgotten as your fingers tangled in his hair and scratched lightly at his scalp.

You’d forgotten what it was like to kiss him, you’d forgotten how he’d hold the back of your neck with one hand and grip your waist with the other like his life depended on it, no matter how gentle the kiss was. It drove you wild every time, your body feeling like it was on fire as he pulled you impossibly closer to him. His kiss was gentle, soft, full of passion and yearning, yet rough, hard and full of tension and desperation. You could feel the pain he’d felt the last two years with each soft brush of his tongue against yours, and it took everything in you not to break down in tears mid kiss. Your Matty was back, and you didn’t think you’d ever be able to let him go again, even though you knew you had to.

When the two of you pulled a part for air, you couldn’t help but stare up at him with soft, gasping breaths leaving your lips. Matt’s eyes remained closed, his eyebrows furrowed tightly. He looked…miserable, and you hated it. You untangled your hands from his hair, one of your palms resting against his chest while your other hand reached up and cupped his cheek softly. Your thumb caressed the crease between his eyebrows until he relaxed, finally opening his eyes to meet yours. Every single bit of anguish you’d felt for the last two years was written all over his face. It was etched into the lines by his eyes, the twitching corners of his mouth, and it was glimmering in the cool blue of his iris’. He was in as much pain as you’d been in, and it made you want to scream.

“Did you stop loving me?” Matt asked, his voice thick and raspy. You inhaled sharply, your own brows furrowing.

“Matty, I—”

“Just.” He interrupted, exhaling deeply through his nose and looking into the flames of the fire rippling a few feet to your left. “Just answer the question, please.” He didn’t return his gaze to yours, no matter how badly you wanted him to look into your eyes and see the answer screaming out at him from your heart. You fish-mouthed for a few seconds before taking a deep, shaky breath and closing your eyes.

“I don’t think I could ever forgive myself if I stopped loving you.” You said, Matt’s gaze finally returning to yours. You smiled brokenly, letting your eyes well with the hot tears you’d been fighting since seeing him and his brothers the second you looked across the fire. Your hands clenched into fists in his flannel, your body desperate for him to stay close to you. “Loving you…fuck, loving you was the best thing I’ve ever done, even if it went up in flames. It made every argument, every bad day, every break up and reconnection worth it. I didn’t think it was possible, and I thought I was doing so well getting over you, but I love you just as much as I did the day we broke up for the last time. And it’s okay if you stopped loving me completely, because I can understand how you could.” You whispered the last few words, closing your eyes and letting the depth of your words fall over the two of you. You dropped your head, sniffling to yourself and trying to pull yourself together before you made a mess of things again.

Matt’s fingers lightly gripping your chin had a shaky exhale leaving your lips as he lifted your head. Your eyelids fluttered open, the tip of his nose almost touching yours with how close the two of you still were. His tongue peaked out to wet his lips and he opened his mouth to speak as his grip moved from your chin to his hand cupping your jaw and holding it firmly.

“The one thing I didn’t miss was the lack of faith you had in yourself being loveable.” He said clearly, firmly, matter-of-factly. He’d told you a million times before that there was absolutely no reason for him not to love you, but you never stopped looking for that one reason to present to him. “I have loved you so completely, so wholly, so entirely since the day I met you, and the day we said goodbye. You were and are the last person I think of when I fall asleep, and the first person I think of when I wake up in the morning. For so long, you were the only person I wanted to be around, and the only person I knew that I couldn’t live without.” He said, your eyes wide as you stared up at his smug face with a slack jaw.

“The fact that I came back each and every time you looked me in my face and tore my heart out of my chest, still wanting and needing to be a part of you and your life should show how much I loved and still love you. If you can’t see how deep my love for you is, then I truly don’t know what we were doing in the first place.” He finished, the tears that had welled in your eyes had begun to fall, Matt smiling softly down at you as his thumb tenderly swiped the tears away. “Don’t cry, baby. I was only telling you the truth. I’m just glad that it seems now you finally choose to believe it.”

You sniffled and shook your head up at him, not understanding how only a short time ago you were staring at him from across a bonfire, absolutely petrified of him seeing you and not being interested enough to even wave, and here you were. You were standing in his arms, only a few feet away from the fire, listening to him tell you that all of your sleepless nights full of tossing and turning, overthinking, watching him and his brothers’ videos on YouTube for some semblance of normalcy, he was missing you and loving you just as much as you were him. You couldn’t help but smile up at him and pull him closer to you, wrapping him in the tightest hug you could manage. You wanted it to feel the way his words made you feel, warm and safe and protected and loved. So fucking loved that you could hardly stand it.

“What does this mean, Matty?” You whispered against his shoulder. He sighed into your hair, his grip around your waist tightening as he shook his head.

“Just enjoy the moment, baby. We’ll talk about that later.” He mumbled, pulling away from the hug to press a kiss to your forehead, cheek, and then pressing his lips firmly to yours. It was only a firm peck, and he pulled away. “Watch the fireworks with me?” He asked. You nodded your head and turned around, letting him press himself against your back and wrap his arms around you like he’d done a million times before. His chin rested against your shoulder, and you leaned your head slightly to the side to rest your temple against his as the first firework shot into the sky. Each and every breath you took, you breathed him in, not wanting this moment to end.

It was possible that by the end of the night, the two of you would go your separate ways and leave one another again for an indefinite amount of time, or maybe even continue your cycle from two years ago. But it was also possible that the two of you would start something new, maybe change the cycle and make sure it wasn’t repeated again. You had a feeling it was one of the latter two options.

After all, you two were never really over.

tags: @strniolo , @ssturniolo , @thetriplets3 , @stvrni0lo , @gabbylovesreading , @dwntwn-strnlo , @tylerscreat0r , @toyourloves , @lvrsparadise , @angelcake-222 , @20nugs , @obsessivencrazy , @lollibumblebee , @stargirlv0id , @jellybeanbby , @idontexistman , @emssturniolo , @soursturniolo , @bernardenjoyer , @ev3rgreenxtrees , @reveriewave , @mxqdii , @leah-loves-lilies , @mattsnutsack , @champangekisses , @floofparker

[chrolloluvr]

May I request Mammon angst HCs please? Like the reader is possibly breaking up with him or something? (i love your HCs for mammon<3)

Mammon Breaking Up Hcs

note: Thank you i'm so glad you like them pookie!! also yes i love this idea ❤️❤️

warnings: Cursing, creepy behavior, unbalanced power dynamic, killing. Not proofread!

Female!Reader, (no specific gender, so can be GenderNeutral!Reader)

It would be best to tell him over text, since he is guaranteed to throw a toddler like temper tantrum if you ever told him in person.

So you text him over text, what happens? He 100% thinks you're joking at first. He thinks you aren't being serious at all, and that wow babe, you might even be a bigger clown than I am.

But when he realized that you were being serious, he gets angry. How dare you? Why would you ever break up with him? He is the king of greed, he has trillions of dollars in the bank, so why don't you want to stay by his side? Did he do something? Did he hurt you? What happened? Baby, we can sort this out-

In a way, still doesn't think you are being serious, which is what he tries to tell himself. So he will let you leave, and will act like he doesn't need you.

Another author said this already, but he will 100% go through the stages of grief, (he will never go through acceptance, because in his mind, you will always come crawling back to him.)

He will be in denial for a very long time. Let's say you move out, and even start residing in another ring. He will send you texts. All. The. Time.

Your phone will mods likely have 103 Missed Calls, 986 Messages, and 37 Voicemails. He is crazy, and especially crazy for you. So when you don't respond to him, he does not understand why. He likes to think that you were just going on vacation for a while. He genuinely thinks you two are still together.

Anger- Once he sees that you have indeed moved on, and that he is no longer living in fantasy land, he gets extremely angry. His general mood spikes, he lashes out (wayyy more than he used to), and a-lot of his servants are scared to talk to him. Will absolutely keep bombarding you with texts every day. He will even get his servants to start texting you on his 100's of extra HellPhones.

Mamm 🕸️💚 11:34

Come hone ygu little cungt

Mamm 🕸️💚 11:35

ANSWERF ME.

Mamm 🕸️💚 11:35

Do ygu knoe how easily i can replaece yu

Mamm🕸️💚 11:36

Fine go shack uo with sorm dirty hoboes you little slut

Mamm 🕸️💚 11:36

I dont kneed u and youir mediocar holes

So yeah... thats just one example. He has so many spelling mistakes because he is typing so fast, and practically brekaing his phone from how angry he is.

But in reality he does need you. You are. the one thing that keeps him running. However he will never, over his dead body, ever admit that.

Bargaining- He will send things to your... new home... in gift baskets. Fizzarolli plushies, flowers, tickets to his live events, expensive jewelry, the list goes on. It gets to a point where (if you live in an apartment complex) People start stealing his gifts and start putting them up online to sell. (And they go for 10s of thousands of dollars.)

He send these to you so that you can hopefully come crawling back into his life, so that he can control you again.

At this point, you have most likely made it public about your distance between you and the sin. Your relationship was extremely public, and known by everybody.

He refuses to speak publicly, because he wants people to think he still controls you. And when i say your relationship was big, it was definitely the most talked about relationship in all of Hell. People will go nuts about you two breaking up. Another author said this as well, but people will go crazy with the comments.

"L Mammon fumbled so bad its actually wild."

"Bros got plenty other options 💀"

"Why tf would she/they break up w/ HIM???🤰"

"Now that hes single I call dibs 🙌"

You try your best to ignore the comments, but eventually you cant, its not just online, but in real life you feel cornered as well. You might even start to reconsider your departure with him. Which is exactly where he wants you.

Depression- He spirals into somewhat of an insecure man. He strives to be better. He ups his game for his big pageants, soon to be bigger, just to impress you.

He maaaay or may not have killed people in your favor. This is known, obviously, but his obsession along with his newfound insecurity has left him no choice but to show that if you dont want to come home, he will show you its safer than anywhere else.

Overall, if you do end up coming back to him, he is overjoyed with happiness, and will take extra precautions to ensure you wont ever walk out on him and his warm embrace again.

However if you end up never wanting anything to do with him, he will be devastated, but he will force himself to get over it. He is Mammon, he truly does not need you. In reality, you were somebody he felt an unexplainable feeling to protect. He absolutely can live without you, but for some reason, he feels like he cant. If somebody were to ever bring you up, he would lash out, and make his anger everybody's problem. He may get over you after a while, but he will never fully accept the fact that you left him.

[lostintransist]

This song inspired a whole fic I don't have the time to write. But here is the blurb I threw at @backseatsoldier and @scaredyspooks

Background Johnny has low self esteem and accepts whatever affection he can from a friend bitch who takes advantage of that, shoving him in boyfriend situations emotionally for far to long. His best friend, you, has been pinning for him so long you have started to give up hope.

When the bitch moves to a city far away and you see her give Johnny a goodbye kiss that you don't realize is such. You turn on a heel and walk away, ignorning Johnny's calls and texts for the next few days.

Johnny thinks it unusual but it is about time for your period to start and you tend to be a bit wonky until the blood starts flowing. He brushes it off until a random man on base asks about his girlfriend.

"My what?"

"You're girlfriend sir, the woman on your home screen? She is your girlfriend right? I've seen her at some of the parties hanging out with you. Always has hearts in her eyes when she's around."

"Do you love me?" "Johnny I can't talk about this right now," she pushes on the door. It catches on his boot. "Please, I-I need," Johnny swallows down the fears crawling up his throat, "Do you love me?"

The dam breaks.

"I have loved you for a long time," your jaw quivers as you stare into his eyes, more familiar than your own.

"Oh thank god," he rushes forward, pulling you into a hug. One arm wraps around your ribs while the other grips into your hair, pushing your head into his shoulder. He kicks the front door shut. "I thought I would be to late," his voice breaks on the last word.

"What do you mean? You want Shannon?" Your fingers burrow into the back his shirt.

"I did. She represented everything I thought I deserved."

You try to pull back. Johnny isn't to much taller than you but the mucsle he maintains for his job robs you of the ability to flee from his words.

"What happened then? Why are you here?" You bite the words out in the space you could create between his chest and your face.

"Someone asked me today if I had broken up with my girlfriend. I was confused until they said the woman on my home screen, the one I am always gushing about. That is when I realized that he meant you."

That makes you pause in your efforts to escape. You were his home screen? Looking up at him Johnny shifts his hand from your hair to caress your face, thumb sweeping the leftover tears from your cheek.

"How long have I been your lock screen?" You whisper.

"Years," he whispers back.

The tears start up again.

"Why?" You can't force your words any louder than a whipser.

"There was a challenge a few Christmases back, to change your home screen to a photo of something that brings a smile to your face every time you see it. The last photo I had taken had been you. I've updated the photo a few times but it's been you since."

"Why did you never say anything?" The words hurt your throat as they leave.

"How could I tell one of the most important people in my life that I love her but I am a bad man who has done unspeakable things and don't deserve time or love from her? Why would I set myself up to be rightfully refused? For you to scoff at my affections?"

It's your turn to caress his face. He loosens his arms enough to allow you to touch him, but not enough to step back.

"You don't get to make that choice for me Johnny. And I don't like the version of me that lives in your head if you thought I would ever scoff at you."

He recoils, eyes slamming shut and chest caving in as if he took a bullet to the chest. Feckin' hell, she was right. It had to be him that didn't think he deserved anything resembling love though you had been peppering him with it for years.

You give him five breaths to deal with the emotional revelation before you are squishing his cheeks into his teeth, causing his lips to pop out.

"I would like to sit down and talk about this instead of being held hostage in my entryway. Would you like something to drink while we talk Johnny?"

You give him the softest smile he had ever seen, the gentlest crinkles forming around your eyes.

"Aye love, I think I need a drink." He presses a kiss to your forehead. "Can I hold your hand while we talk?"

"I would love that."

[in1-nutshell]

Ironhold meeting MTMTE Megatron (Longer version)

SFW, Platonic, Familial, Romance, Cybertronain reader

G1/MTMTE

Since they could remember, Ironhold was told that they had exceptional luck.

Ironhold didn’t believe in luck.

They thought that ‘luck’ was a type of way to shift the blame on their own actions. They hated when bots would try and shift their blame onto ‘unexplained’ things. Things happened for a reason and those reasons were based off the bot. If something bad happened, it wasn’t ‘bad luck’, it was the bots fault in the end.

But right now, Ironhold was willing to make an exception to that rule.

For the past month they had been trying to get their schedule aligned with their soon to be (hopefully) Conjunx’s schedule. It had been cycles since they had properly had time together and they really wanted to be with him right now.

They wanted to talk about their day with him, hear his tall tales and horribly cheesy jokes, they just wanted to hold him tight in their arms without fearing the alarm clock would sound off in the few nanoclicks they had in between.

“Yeesh. What crawled up your tailpipe and died?”

Ironhold looked unamused as they passed by Thundercracker with their datapads. They didn’t have the energy to deal with him today. Heck, they didn’t have much energy to deal with most bots today. Grimlock could come ramming through the wall and they wouldn’t even bat an optic.

They just wanted to turn in today’s datapads and move on with the day.

“Ironhold. Recharging well?”

The red visor of the third in command flickered a bit ending the sentence.

“Not too well Soundwave, but I’ll live.”

“You’re not recharging well? How come?”

“I’m fine Thundercracker. The business of me recharging is not anyone’s concern.”

Soundwave crosses his arms at that statement.

“But can’t you like, asks Megatron to take a load off?”

Ironhold vents deeply.

“It’s not about sleep.”

“Correction. About Rumble.”

Ironhold was once again glad that they could not ‘blush’ like humans could. If they did, they might as well look like one of those ‘tomatoes’.  Clearing their intake they spoke.

“What is between Rumble and I—”

“None of your concern. Yeah, not so much Hold. Wait! I bet you two haven’t had any alone time and that’s why you’re angry!”

Maybe Ironhold had underestimated Thundercracker after all, and if he could figure it out Skywarp would find out by the end of the month. Or two. Okay maybe four if they were being honest.

“And if this were true… what would you suggest I do?”

“Are you asking for help?”

“…Yes.”

The Seekers optics widened a bit. He hadn’t expected that they’d actually ask for HIS help. Hopefully he wouldn’t screw it up.

“I mean, if trying to plan around schedules hasn’t worked, then maybe ask for favors or ask Megatron to give you two some time. Maybe say its for, what was the human term ‘sick day’? Do we have those?”

Ironhold ignored that last comment, mainly because they didn’t know either, but did consider asking Megatron if one more revision didn’t work out. Or perhaps the favors, they did have many bots owing them favors… it could work.

“Maybe you’re right Thundercracker. I’ll give it a try.”

They nod at him and begin to go to the door before stopping and turning to Soundwave.

“Do you know where Frenzy and Starscream are?”

…

“I can’t believe we finally have some time together! How long has it been? A millennia?”

“It’s been one month, 10 days, 5 hours, and 30 minutes but who’s counting?”

Turns out asking Frenzy was a lot easier than expected. Maybe it had something to do with Rumble’s constant ‘moaning and whining’ about not having any time with Ironhold. He practically dumped Rumble at their pedes when they asked him to take the shift.

Starscream was a bit trickier to get a hold of.

But no one ever denied some wax on the wings with a sane mind.

So now it was just Ironhold and Rumble walking down the halls of the Nemesis. Ironhold had these plans to go out for a while and they were going to make the best out of it. The nearby drive-in movie theater had the slasher film that Rumble had mentioned maybe seeing and today was the last day they were showing it. If they got there on time, they could also find a nice shady spot to watch from.

“Hello? Earth to Ironhold? Hello? Anybot home?”

Ironhold snapped out of their train of thought and looked down at a slightly amussed Rumble. He was holding their servo. Even after a while of dating, Ironhold still marveled at the size difference between their servo and rumbles. His was practically engulfed in theirs. They squeezed a bit.

“So, what movie do you want to see this time?”

Ironhold made a face pretending to think.

“Hmm… don’t know…”

Rumble gives them a look.

“Aw, c’mon Hold, you always have a movie on your processor. I’m sure you can think of one that doesn’t stink. Unless…”

The minicon slides in front of them giving them a teasing smirk.

“You DO have a movie in mind.”

Ironhold playfully scoffs and continues to walk.

“Excuse you—”

“Yes?”

Ironhold lets out a chuckle before patting his helm.

He swats it playfully before taking the lead again.

“Ironhold we’ve talk about doing that!”

Ironhold gives him a loving smirk.

“Well, My Spark, you were asking for it.”

Rumble stammered a bit before angrily stopping in front of them. It wasn’t actual anger, just a little fit that would fix in a few minutes on its own.

But as it turned out, it would take less time to completely ruin their plans. Especially when a colorful portal came and started dragging everything in that wasn’t nailed to the ground. Like a minicon.

“Hold!”

That was all Rumble needed to say before jumping in after him. Holding onto the ledge of the portal didn’t seem possible, yet they were doing it. One servo holding onto Rumble’s servo while the other was gripping the ledge.

“What is going on over there?!”

Never had Starscream’s shriek given them this much joy. Joy that was short lived when they felt the smaller servo slip out of theirs.

Ironhold didn’t think.

They just let go.

The pink and green swirl soon turned into darkness once their entire frame hit something cold and wet.

…

When Rumble woke up, he half expected to see Ironhold’s disappointed face hearing the clocks alarm. Except he was in their arms… or in their semi shared berth… or in their room… The minicon jumped up, pillars up and ready to plow down the next bot who touched him. And boy were there a lot of Autobots around. There was something strange about them too. The looked… off. He couldn’t exactly say what was wrong, but there was defiantly something new from the bots he was used to. But a familiar looking felicon approached him.

“Ravage? Is that you? Where is Soundwave and the others?”

The felicon raised his optics a bit.

“You’re not Rumble.”

“And you’re not Ravage! You can talk!”

“Of course I can talk! And Rumble is with Soundwave right now.”

“If I may.”

The tall turquoise bot stepped closer to the minicon. His servos tightly around a yellow briefcase.

“This Rumble is not from our universe.”

This was certainly something.

Rumble pointed at the bright yellow suitcase.

“And what’s with the suitcase? You gotta bomb in there?”

A larger figure came through the crowd. This had to be one of the biggest mech on the ship, Rumble was sure of it. There was no mistaking the grey paint job and aura of authority.

“Not a bomb, it does however travel through time.”

Rumble was definitely going to ask about that later, but right now he was taking in the sheer size of this Megatron. Primus did this universe make everyone taller and bigger?!

“Megatron!”

He nods at him and then at the bot.

“I am Brainstorm, the smartest—”

The red bot next to him, that strangely looked like Perceptor (maybe he was?), nudged him on the side. Brainstorm grunted a bit at the hit before clarifying.

“One of the smartest scientists on the Lost Light. I may be the reason why you and your companion are in our universe. You see, I created a machine of sorts in my recharge, still wonder how I did that, and as it turns out it opens to different universes. Now this would be better on a mass scale and—”

The red bot interrupted.

“Brainstorm, the topic.”

“Oh yes, thank you Perceptor. To keep things short, anyone who came through that portal is now in our dimension somewhere on the ship.”

Rumble’s optics widen under his visor. What did this bot mean by ‘universe’? As far as he knew there was only one… or maybe there were more out there. He really needed to stop hanging around Skywarp, as the humans said, his braincells were dying faster with him around. But the last sentence finally registered in his mind.

“Wait you said someone else came through? But who would…”

The realization sends his pillars back and replaced with his servos, now making home on his helm. This made many of the bots around him look surprised if not borderline shocked. The Rumble of this universe would never act out like this. Who or what was this minicon so worried about.

“Oh of course that dumb, selfless, stinkin’, loveable scrap for brains would jump in after me! Primus that dumb bot is going to be the death of me!”

Did… did Rumble have a Conjunx? Maybe Amica? Nah, that was not how Rumble was…

Right?

“Loveable?”

Rumble looked up at Megatron.

“Ironhold jumped in after me!”

“Who is Ironhold?”

The minicon stopped in his tracks and stared in disbelief at the war lord.

“What do you mean—Ironhold! Hold! My Hold! Ringing any bells up there?”

Another red bot steps forward.

“I don’t think anyone’s heard that name before. Maybe they are exclusive to your universe only?”

Megatron and Perceptor give him a surprised look.

The red bot looked slightly offended.

“Hey, I’ve watched these kind of things during movie night. I know some things.”

Megatron clears his intake.

“Thank you for your insight Rodimus, and he is right Rumble. No one we know goes by that designation.”

Rumble sees the flash of red on his chassis.

An Autobot insignia.

…

“Megatron… what is that Autobot badge doing on yer’ chassis…?”

Megatron instinctively touches the insignia and looks slightly ashamed.

The red bot, Rodimus, answered his question.

“The war’s over. Megatron here surrendered.”

“…”

“Rumble—”

“WHAT DO YOU MEAN SURRENDERED?!”

Megatron and most bots winced at the sudden yelling.

The Ex-war lord looked at him.

“It means I surrendered. I am not going into more details.”

Rumble almost sneered at the autoboot badge on his chassis.

“No wonder you lost the war. Ironhold wouldn’t have given up so easily.”

Megatron just vented tiredly. Rodimus, having a bit of pity for his fellow Co-Captain. He smiles a bit at Rumble.

“Listen, we’ll find Ironhold. Might be a bit difficult looking for a minicon—”

“They aren’t a minicon.”

Rodimus looks at him.

“They aren’t?”

“No. Why did you think they were?”

“I just assumed they were another cassette on the team.”

Rumble huffed.

“They aren’t a mini and you aren’t going to find them either.”

Rodimus huffed a bit at the comment.

“And pray tell why?”

Rumble gives him a smirk.

“They don’t do that whole ‘getting found’ thing. They find you. The only reason you’re gonna find them is if they want you to find them. And believe me pal, it takes a lot to get them to—”

The doors swing open revealing a red minibot with a blue visor.

“Something just came out of the oil reserves like the Creature of the Black Lagoon and is shooting everything!”

“That’s Ironhold for ya.”

The chattering stopped at the sudden thud sounds coming from above.

A large pede kicked the opening lid and a rather large bot dripping with oil and two large blasters aimed at the group. Their optics shift and scanning each bot until they spot Rumble. The bots could see the brief flash of relief in their optics.

“Rumble?”

“Ironhold!”

The larger bot clicked their blasters at the group.

“I swear to the Allspark, if you don’t hand him over, there will be no medic alive who would put you back together—Megatron? Ravage?”

They lowered their blasters a bit.

“What is going—”

The red Autobot badge catches their optic.

“…on? Primus, did I hit my helm. What is this?!”

Rumble just races up to them and jumps. Ironhold expertly catches him with one arm while the others still had the blaster in servo. Rumble hugged them best he could, he swore he felt a shudder coming from their frame. The minicon took both his servos and grabbed their faces making them look at him.

“Listen Hold, just put down the blasters and they’ll explain things.”

Ironhold gripped the blasters a bit tighter.

“Hold…”

The larger bot slowly put down their weapons but still held Rumble in one arm. They glared at the ex-war lord.

“Explain. Now.”

…

This was definitely a new for them both.

Ironhold had never really considered there being another universe or universes out there. But this ship, this crew proved them wrong. To hear that this universes war was over was… strange. There had always been a war, without fighting what were they going to do? They looked down at Rumble, who was rambling to ravage about something and something clicked.

The reason why they fought.

A better future for them and all Cybertronains to live equally.

For them to have a life with Rumble.

To live in peace.

“Its going to take some time, but we should have a way to get you two back home.”

“Thank you Brainstorm.”

Rodimus walked up to them and Rumble.

“As long as you two are here, you are honorary members of the Lost Light! I don’t know if you caught the name, but I’m Rodimus Prime. Co-Captain of the Lost Light.”

Ironhold and Rumble’s optics went wide.

“What happened to Optimus?”

“Co-Captain isn’t a rank.”

Rodimus waved his servo off handedly.

“Long story short, Optimus was dead, I became a Prime, Megs here shot me in the chassis, Optimus came back and I’m still here.”

Ironhold looked like they were going to slap someone.

“And Megatron is our other Co-Captain.”

“Whose bright idea was this? Skywarp? Nah couldn’t be him. That’s like saying Starscream is the Ruler of Cybertron.”

Ironhold chuckled a bit at Rumble’s joke.

“How do you know that?”

Both Cons looked at Megatron in disbelief.

“…Say sike right now…”

“Rumble—”

“Say sike right now!”

“Starscream?! Why? Who? What…?”

The red and white sword mech behind Rodimus chuckled.

“That’s another long story.”

Rumble pouted a bit.

“Is there anywhere on this ship were we can get some rations? Bots starving here.”

The red and white minibot, Swerve cracked a wide smile.

“We got something better, we gotta bar!”

“A bar?!”

…

Even after a couple of days on the ship, Rumble couldn’t remember having so much energon and not having to be told to save it for later. He is seriously considering moving to this new universe with Soundwave and Ironhold. The pair still hadn’t even met half of the ship, but that was probably for the vest. Speaking of which, Ironhold was taking in the engex slowly, like they did back home. Always savoring it and keeping it in as long as possible to make it last.

The tall purple bot, which Rumble was sure was a con at first glance, placed a servo on their shoulder.

“We are no longer at war. There is enough for everyone here.”

“… old habits die hard…”

“I understand.”

Ironhold smiled a bit.

“And you are?”

“I am Cyclonus—”

“And I’m Tailgate!”

The three of them nearly had whiplash when the white and blue minibot popped out of nowhere and began spitting out questions almost as fast as Swerve had been doing when they first stepped foot in the bar. Rumble still doesn’t know how Ironhold didn’t sock him in the mouth.

“—and then I woke up here in the med bay with Whirl, he’s that bot over there,let me introduce you to him! Whirl! Hey Whirl!”

A turquoise empurata bot walked up to the bar were the group was.

“What is it Panic Button?”

Tailgate didn’t seem to be bothered by the nickname.

“Have you met the honorary members yet?”

“You mean the ones that will be out of our helm in a few hours from now? I heard Brianstorm saying something about the finishing touches on the portal gun.”

Ironhold smiled and turned to the bot.

“Really? Is it true?”

Whirl snapped his claws.

“Are you and Rumble Junxies?”

He knew the tone was a teasing one, he knew that it was a code for yes…

But that didn’t stop the warm feeling in his chassis from blooming.

“Whirl, Rumble and I aren’t Conjunx Endura.”

Whirl looked at the taller bot with a squint in his optic.

“Amica?”

“No.”

“… Will you be though or…”

Ironhold sighs a bit.

“We haven’t done that yet.”

“Unless you want to.”

The words spilled out so quickly Rumble had to take a few seconds to realize what he said.

He said he wanted to be bonded to Ironhold.

In public.

Millions of what ifs and scenarios, both good and bad bloomed. If he couldn’t even keep his helm straight, why would he even attempt to bond with them?

“Cause if you’re free… I can show you how we do things in this universe~”

Whirl’s claw found its way near Ironhold’s servo.

Sod it.

“GET YOUR FILTHY CLAWS OFF THEM! THEY ARE MY FUTURE CONJUNX AND—”

“Really?”

Ironhold held a look of… hope and love.

Yes, this was definitely the right decision.

“Ye-yeah, if you’d have me?”

What came out next was something that Rumble would never think would happen to him in real life.

One, Ironhold picking him up and spinning around in a bar.

Two, squealing ‘YES!’ over and over again.

And Three, Megatron in the background once again frozen in place while the phrase ‘You are the father!’ played in the background.

Suddenly a familiar looking portal appeared on the bar’s floor.

Brainstorm running in.

“Fixed it!”

Ironhold pulled him closer giving him a smile.

“Time for us to head home?”

He smiled back.

“Yeah! Let’s blow this pop stand! Later losers!”

Together they waved goodbye to their new friends and jumped into the portal.

…

“What do you mean they fell through the floor?!”

“It means, THEY FELL THROUGH THE FLOOR!”

Soundwave sighed for the 300th time this hour.

The search for Rumble and Ironhold had yet again reached a dead end, and at this point Soundwave was considering talking to the Autobot’s to help widen the search.

“Starscream nothing that you just said made sense!”

“But it’s true Megatron!”

The Second in Command stomped the floor.

“Right here! Right here is where they just vanished—”

POP!

Rumble and Ironhold fell through the portal and landed on a screaming Starscream.

Megatron and Soundwave helped the two up.

Rumble suddenly stood up and jumped up.

“THEY SAID YES!”

“Rumble: Location. Explanation.”

“Later Boss! I gotta a Conjunx ceremony to plan with Hold!”

Megatron froze in place, something many Megatron’s seemed to have.

“Wha—”

“You’re right! We need to make sure the location is set.”

“And don’t forget the placements!”

The pair eagerly walked back to their habsuite leaving the three mech’s dumbfounded.

“What.”

“The…”

“BEEEEEPPPPPPP!”

“Soundwave! My audials!”

“Quiet Starscream!”

[cherienymphe]

When The Party’s Over XII (Rafe Cameron x Reader)

Warnings: NON-CON, mentions of DUB-CON, ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIP, DOMESTIC VIOLENCE, forbidden relationship, violence, public sex, jealousy, underage drinking, drug use, manipulation, corruption, forced pregnancy, innocent reader, Heyward!reader

➥ banner by @vase-of-lilies​ | divider by @silkholland​​

➥ series masterlist

summary: Manipulated into a secret relationship with Rafe Cameron, you’re finding it much easier said than done to do the right thing and walk away…especially when he refuses to let you.

~

You felt heavy.

You remembered reading books and watching movies and tv shows that featured some traumatic event or another, and the narrator or character always described the aftermath feeling as ‘numb’. You thought that made sense, that their entire body would just seemingly shut down, mind retreating within itself to protect themselves from the trauma. You thought it was fascinating how the brain, the thing that made everything else work as they should, would kick into overdrive to protect itself and its person from completely losing it.

You didn’t get that feeling.

No, you felt heavy.

The weight of Rafe’s actions on the boat pressed down on you like the very water he held your head under. You felt so heavy and overwhelmed. You felt like your body was filled with sand, like you could barely move, and maybe that was why you spent your prison sentence in bed. Pope’s failure to properly come up with a reason as to why your dad shouldn’t go into your room had resulted in your discovered absence.

You hadn’t even cared when he tore into you, going on about irresponsibility and danger. In fact, you’d been relieved. You’d been so relieved that you had cried, throwing yourself at him and taking him by surprise as he slowly hugged you back.

“I’m sorry,” you had mumbled, meaning those two words more than you ever had.

You were sorry that you’d snuck out to see Rafe, resulting in being isolated with the volatile boy. You were sorry that he’d gotten drunk, proceeding to go on a jealous tirade and accuse you of sleeping with Topper, or at the very least, wanting him. You were sorry he’d attacked you, holding your head underwater like some asshole he was fighting at a party instead of…well, his girlfriend.

You were sorry that Rafe was sorry, crawling back to you later that night, filled with regret and desperation as he pleaded with you to forgive him. You were sorry that he scared you so bad that you genuinely didn’t know what he’d do if you kept refusing him, shaking at the thought of being stuck in the middle of the ocean with someone who was not who you thought they were. You were sorry that you let him kiss you, allowing your body to move on autopilot as he laid you down.

You were even more sorry that you forced yourself to hold him, nails digging into his skin and eyes squeezed shut as he fucked you into the bed, a million apologies leaving his lips as he pressed kisses along your skin. You cried the whole time, beyond thankful for the darkness, Rafe mistaking your uneven breathing for excitement instead of fear. How funny that two of the worst experiences of your life happened on the same day…by the same person.

After being grounded for two more weeks, you couldn’t run to your room fast enough.

…and that was where you’d been ever since.

Every call or facetime request from Rafe went ignored. Every text was met with some dry half excuse as to why you couldn’t talk or see him. You knew that it couldn’t go on forever. You knew that you would have to build the courage and actually have the conversation with Rafe, the conversation that you genuinely didn’t think you’d have. At least, not anytime soon.

Every time you remembered what happened, you wanted to cry all over again. You thought you didn’t have any more tears left in you, but every new day proved you wrong. Genuine coke fueled accidents were one thing. Rafe being unaware of his own strength and anger in the middle of the street could even be another thing, but the way he’d deliberately hurt you? The way he’d gone out of his way to intimidate you and dole out a punishment that he felt was justified? That was something else entirely.

It hurt even more to think about the fact that the little incidents you’d accepted as nothing to linger on were actually signs all along. It hurt to think about the grace you’d given him and the faith you’d had in him had been in vain. You’d thought that Rafe was just a good guy who was deeply troubled, someone who so badly wanted to be better but just fucked up sometimes.

You didn’t want to even consider that he might just be a bad person.

Or at the very least, bad for you.

It was rare that you were grounded, and while your family probably expected some moping, you could tell that your voluntary seclusion was worrying them. It was evident in the way Pope had started to knock on your door, asking if you were going to eat. Sometimes you did, reluctantly getting up and telling yourself there was no sense in starving yourself. Sometimes you didn’t think you could keep anything down, too overcome with a heavy sadness that had you telling Pope ‘no’.

Beyond the sadness though…was fear.

You needed to break up with Rafe.

Even just the thought of that conversation had your stomach turning, feeling like you were going to be sick every time his name flashed across your screen. His calls and texts were becoming more frequent, and sometimes you had to turn your phone completely off just to feel like you could breathe. When he was drunk and filled with a delusional jealous rage, he’d tried to drown you. The thought of what he might do if you broke up with him made you lightheaded, but that was exactly why you needed to do it.

The next time he called, you finally answered.

You’d always been under the impression that everyone deserved a proper breakup, a respectful one, but if you could help it, you would never even see Rafe again. Not even to dump him. It hurt to say that he didn’t deserve that, and quite frankly, you didn’t know how he’d react.

“She lives,” he drawled when you picked up the phone, the sound of his voice making you feel too many things to differentiate them all. “I was starting to think you’d been kidnapped, and someone was just using your phone to fuck with me.”

You didn’t join him when he chuckled, and you could tell that he noticed.

“You okay?”

No, you weren’t. You could barely eat, you could barely sleep, and you needed to break up with your boyfriend, but he terrified the crap out of you.

“What’s wrong, beautiful?”

“Rafe, you can’t call me that anymore.”

The words had just slipped out before you knew it, and once they were out there, there was no taking them back. You closed your eyes, rubbing your forehead at the silence on the other end. Your heart was racing, and you were so beyond sure that you were going to throw up any second, but you couldn’t stop. You’d taken the first step, and you couldn’t just stop walking.

“In fact…you can’t call me, at all anymore,” you rushed out. “I don’t want to see you anymore.”

The silence was loud, and you slowly sat down on the floor, your back against your bed as you stared at your dresser. You counted the number of knobs, skin growing cold as you waited for him to say something—anything.

“Is this about what happened on the boat?”

“No-.”

“Bullshit.”

He was right. That was bullshit, and you didn’t even know why you’d lied. Maybe because it wasn’t just about what happened on his boat. It was horrible, sure, and had probably traumatized you in ways you weren’t even aware of yet, but it was also a wakeup call. It wasn’t all your fault for choosing to have faith in Rafe, for being forgiving when you thought he was genuinely sorry and was going to change. Especially when he hadn’t gone out of his way to hurt you, but that day on the boat had you rethinking everything.

Now, you didn’t even know if all those other times had been as accidental as they’d seemed, as he’d made them out to be. You didn’t know what to believe anymore, but you did know for a fact that that day on the boat was no accident. It was no small thing you could just brush aside like all the rest.

“Rafe, you tried to drown me,” you whispered, continuing when you heard him take a deep breath. “You accused me of sleeping with Topper and-.”

“I said I was sorry,” he breathed, and you shook your head.

“Maybe you really are sorry, I’ll give you that, but surely you get why that doesn’t change anything…right…?”

He was silent for a few moments, and there was no desire in you to see what he looked like, right now.

“What can I do? What do I have to do to fix this?”

“You can’t! You-.”

You cut yourself off, taking a deep breath.

“I’m terrified of you.”

More silence met you at your confession.

“I can’t be with someone who scares me, who I feel like I can’t trust,” you whispered. “You can’t fix this.”

“So, that’s it?”

His voice was harder, now, icier, and you swallowed.

“I don’t get any say? I don’t even get the respect of you looking me in my fucking face and telling me it’s over?”

“I don’t want to see you,” you honestly told him. “Ever again if I can help it.”

You heard Rafe release a shaky breath, and the chuckle you heard was filled with bitterness.

“I make one mistake-.”

“It’s not just one mistake! Never mind the fact that this isn’t the first time you hurt me, but what you did wasn’t some little thing,” you cried. “If anyone else knew what you did to me…they’d be dragging me to the police station to get you arrested. Do you get that?”

“I don’t care about anyone else or what they might think. I care about the fact that you know what I’m dealing with, and you know how hard it is for me, and you decide you’re going to leave me over some little fuck up,” he quietly said, voice scarily calm. “I care about the fact that you think you can just end this like this-.”

“I am,” you told him, tone incredulous. “I’m sorry, okay? I’m sorry about your family and your dad and-.”

“No, you’re not,” he laughed.

“Yes, I am! I’m sorry, Rafe, I really am-.”

“If you were, you wouldn’t be trying to break up with me, right now! You would understand!”

You looked towards the ceiling, tears kissing your eyes, and you swiped your tongue between your lips. You’d learned that Rafe lashed out when he was hurt, and you tried not to let his anger get to you, but you couldn’t deny the way you shook.

“I am sorry, Rafe. I… I promise that I am,” you choked out. “I’m really sorry.”

You heard him heave a heavy sigh, and he chuckled to himself, and you could almost picture the way he’d look down, tongue pressed to the inside of his cheek with that humorless grin on his face.

“Nah,” he drawled. “You’re not. You’re not sorry.”

You opened your mouth when he continued.

“…but you will be.”

You froze, knees kissing your chest as you stared ahead.

“If this little tantrum or whatever makes you feel…powerful, good about yourself, then have at it,” he softly chuckled. “Spend the next month hiding out in your bedroom just to feel like you actually did something, if you must, but…”

Rafe paused, humming to himself.

“I will make you sorry for trying to leave me…and especially now when I really fucking need you.”

His voice was cold, tone venomous and nasty and unlike anything you’d been on the receiving end of. You hadn’t even realized you were crying, reaching up to wipe your face. You’d been holding your breath, and when you exhaled, it was shaky.

Rafe heard.

“I’ll show you just how mean I can be…and then you’ll really have something to cry about.”

You pulled your phone away, not bothering to hear anything else he might’ve had to say, and your fingers shook when you hung up the phone.

“Are you sure you don’t want to come by Topper’s later? One of Kelce’s friends got them a ridiculous amount of beer,” Cam said, lightly bumping her shoulder with yours.

It was the first night you’d left your house in weeks. You’d officially been ungrounded just a week more than that, and you didn’t need to be a mind reader to know that your lack of desire to leave your room, let alone the house, was throwing your family for a loop.

“You know you’ve been off punishment for almost two weeks, now,” you dad had said one day, awkwardly standing in the doorway of your room with his hands in his pockets.

“Just not up to much,” you had lied. “Tired, mostly.”

It was a half-truth. Rafe’s words had left a sour taste in your mouth, and there was nothing in you that wanted to get out and do anything. You told yourself that he’d just been lashing out, letting his anger consume him for what he felt was a slight on your part. However, there was a good portion of you that shook your head at that. There was something in you that told you that Rafe was completely serious, his anger nothing to scoff at, and the thought that he could turn on you so easily both hurt and scared you.

You’d expected that he wouldn’t take it the best, but that kind of anger from him was something you had only been on the receiving end of once…and he’d been drunk out of his mind.

Not to mention that you were in fact tired these days. You chalked it up to stress, completely oblivious to just how much your relationship with Rafe had taken out of you. It would make sense that now that he was gone, your body and mind were playing catch up, forcing you to actually stop and get back the energy you’d unknowingly been expending.

However, when Bunny had texted you repeatedly, begging you to come out with them, you’d reluctantly agreed. It was mostly because you didn’t need your family worrying or prying, but you’d also missed their faces. It didn’t seem fair to let Rafe ruin every aspect of your life.

So, that was how you found yourself on the beach with a drink in your hand.

“I’m not really in the mood,” you told the redhead with a shrug, no doubt in your mind that Rafe would be there.

Besides, even if you were bold enough to look Rafe in the face and show him he didn’t scare you, you wondered if Topper would even let you in the door. You could only imagine what Rafe had said to him to make him that scared to even hold eye contact with your for a few seconds. The reminder of that angered you, and you took a sip.

You glanced around, recalling that you’d seen John B. in passing a while ago, and you were unsurprised to spot him with his friends, your brother included. They were all looking towards Sarah…who was arguing with Rafe. You paused at the sight of him, pulling your lip between your teeth and turning away. Kelce was here with Cam, but he had come alone.

You should’ve expected Topper to show up at some point too, and expecting him without expecting Rafe was laughable.

The blond had been periodically calling you, leaving a string of voicemails that you didn’t dare listen to. You didn’t even want to see what he’d texted you, and it got so bad and suffocating that you’d just blocked him. You wondered if all the messages were filled with apologies, and while you surmised that some probably were, you knew better. Rafe’s anger on the phone that day didn’t seem like something going away anytime soon.

You forced him out of your mind while somehow remaining conscious of your decision to avoid him. It worked, spending your night at Bunny’s side. She seemed to notice your desire to steer clear of the boys, lingering alone whenever Cam ran off to find Kelce who was with the two blondes. However, you were forced to think about Rafe again when he got into a fight that drew everyone’s attention.

You didn’t know how it started, but you could only be sure that you weren’t the cause this time. Both seemed drunk or high, but that didn’t deter Rafe. Funnily enough, you’d say that whatever was in his system actually helped him, wincing as he punched the other guy without any intent of stopping.

Now that you were broken up, it was like seeing him in an entirely different light.

He didn’t look troubled, he looked absolutely terrifying. You didn’t watch him with concern for his wellbeing coursing through you, but instead fear and an intense desire to get very far away. He looked mindless, blue eyes cold and alight with a violent fire all at the same time, muscles spasming as he punched the guy over and over again.

Watching Top and Kelce try to get him to stop had you swallowing.

You recalled that night at the party, the night that resulted in a bruise that didn’t heal for weeks, and you wondered what could’ve possessed you to go towards him when he was like that. Your lips trembled, and your stomach churned, the beer not settling so well. The sight made you want to be sick.

You paused and blinked.

You were going to be sick.

Bunny’s attention was drawn away from the fight when you coughed, vomit spilling out of your mouth as you rushed to lean over.

“Oh my God,” she cried, grabbing your cup, her other hand coming up to rub your back.

You turned away, and she helped you walk, guiding you towards some bushes. You were shocked to find that you weren’t done, and when you were finally able to catch your breath, you felt more hands on your back.

“What happened?”

Your heart sank at the sound of Pope’s voice, and you wiped your mouth, desperately wanting that salty taste to go away.

“I-I don’t know. Maybe too much beer on an empty stomach because she just started throwing up,” Bunny explained.

You rolled your eyes at the disappointed sound Pope let out.

“The first night out since you’re not grounded anymore and-.”

“Will you shut up?” you snapped, turning to look at your brother.

His deep frown at your tone had you swallowing, but with everything you were dealing with, you didn’t have the patience to hear whatever snarky thing he wanted to throw on top. You could feel Kie’s eyes on you from by his side, and you turned away, taking a deep breath and waiting for your stomach to settle.

“Cam and I will take her home,” Bunny, said, trying to ignore the awkward atmosphere.

“Your redheaded friend who’s been drinking all night, too? Uh uh. I don’t think so,” Pope said. “Kie can take you.”

You were going to protest when your stomach started turning again, and you reluctantly accepted that you should just call it a night. When you glanced up, your eyes met familiar blue ones, and you watched the way his gaze fell onto Pope. He seemed calmer, now, but his face was as stony as ever as Topper tried to give him some water, looking back to you.

Rafe kept his gaze connected with yours, and you swore it was like he could see right into you. You watched him take a sip, looking at you from over the rim of the cup. Looking into his eyes for the first time since the breakup didn’t make you as conflicted as you feared it might. If anything, it only made you more resolved in your decision, especially as you watched Rafe toss his cup to the ground and take a step towards you.

You turned away just as Topper placed a hand on his chest.

“Let’s go,” you grumbled, crossing your arms over your chest and hurrying to get off of the beach.

You were home alone when Pope came storming into the house, slamming the door so hard that it actually made you jump. You were getting something to drink in the kitchen, not having a taste for much of anything lately, and when he breezed by, you could tell by his demeanor that something was wrong. Maybe you still felt like crap for snapping at him the other night, and that’s why you followed after him, calling his name.

He ignored you at first, but when it became clear that you were choosing now to play the concerned sister, he stopped and sighed. He threw his head back, just standing there for a moment as he seemingly gathered his thoughts. At least, that was what you had assumed…until he turned around.

Your sharp inhale was loud in the house.

“What the hell?” you breathed, reaching for him. “What happened?”

There was still a bit of blood on his lip, and the knot on the side of his head was as nasty as it was obvious. You watched Pope’s jaw clench, taking a deep breath as he licked his lips, licking the blood away.

“Rafe and Topper jumped me.”

You felt like you got the air knocked out of you.

Pope’s words hung in the air, and your hands fell, mouth falling open. You stared at him in disbelief, not quite processing what he’d said despite how clearly he’d spoken them. The longer your mind lingered on them, the sicker you felt, and you took a step back.

“What?” you breathed.

You could feel a burning behind your eyes, and you struggled to swallow, a dangerous cocktail of emotions flowing through you. Rafe? Topper? Your mind went to Midsummers and the small argument you’d had with Rafe when him and his friends had jumped JJ. You remembered your anger and disappointment with his actions, but you also remembered your concern when it came to your brother. Rafe had assured you they were unfounded, promising you that he’d never touch Pope…

So long as you were with him.

An angry tear escaped, and Pope mistook it’s meaning.

“I’m fine,” he sighed, shaking off his hat. “Just those assholes being assholes.”

You pressed your lips together, chest growing tight.

“Why?” you finally asked, voice thick with emotion.

It didn’t matter what reason Pope gave you. You knew why.

“JJ sort of got them back for what happened at Midsummers and well…you know how it goes around here…”

You clenched your jaw, knowing that was bullshit. Rafe could’ve easily retaliated against JJ, but no. He chose to take it out on Pope for a reason, and when Pope finally disappeared into his room, more tears fell. You went into your own room, stomach churning at the thought of Rafe jumping Pope just to hurt you. You sniffed, pressing your hand to your mouth as you made your way to your bathroom, dreading the salty taste along the inside of your cheeks.

You leaned against the wall, taking deep breaths and forcing yourself to calm down. Your stomach still turned, but it was lessening some, and you finally let out a sob. It didn’t feel real, none of it, and you slid to the floor.

It didn’t make sense to you, and you didn’t know if you were just that blind or if Rafe was just that good. You’d known of Rafe’s reputation long before that night he’d picked you up, but you weren’t crazy to think he’d become better, especially with the way he was treating you. He’d been so sweet, and while not perfect, he’d been good to you. Even that night at Midsummers, you’d believed him when he said he wouldn’t touch Pope.

It had never occurred to you that he would should you ever broke up.

Why would it? It was such a cruel thing to do, and a fresh wave of tears spilled over. You thought about his hand in your hair, holding you under water. You thought about his voice on the phone that day, so cold and unlike what you thought he was. Thinking about his words still made you shudder, and you brought your knees to your chest. You were realizing that this Rafe, the Rafe who was an enemy, the Rafe who got mean when he didn’t get his way…was a stranger to you.

It was like night and day, and it terrified you…because you didn’t know him, at all.

You wiped your face, trying to hold back more tears when you glanced up.

You didn’t register what you were seeing, at first, but the more you stared at it, the more you frowned. You felt your heart skip a beat, and suddenly, Pope was the last thing on your mind. For the first time in weeks, over a month really, you felt numb. You finally felt numb.

Your pads were on top of your toilet like they always were…

…and you couldn’t remember the last time you’d used one.

[samiiy20]

♡ 𝐋𝐞𝐞 𝐌𝐢𝐧𝐡𝐨 (𝐟𝐭. 𝐇𝐚𝐧) ♡

𝑃𝑎𝑖𝑟𝑖𝑛𝑔: Dom!Lee Minho x fem!reader x Han Jisung 𝐺𝑒𝑛𝑟𝑒: Smut 𝑊𝑜𝑟𝑑 𝑐𝑜𝑢𝑛𝑡:4.6k (I don't know what happened jsjs) 𝑆𝑦𝑛𝑜𝑝𝑠𝑖𝑠: After planning a surprise for your boyfriend, something unexpected happens when you have a third guest, but they prefer to take advantage of it.

N/A: This is something to celebrate 250 followers, thank you all very much for reading me <3

masterlist II tag list

This content NOT is for minors!!!

This is merely entertainment, this does not represent any real person.

It is forbidden to copy or translate my work.

English NO is my first language.

Warnings below the cut

𝑊𝑎𝑟𝑛𝑖𝑛𝑔𝑠: Threesome, unprotected sex (don't do it), a bit of degradation, oral sex, eating cum, nicknames: kitten,dacryphilia, overstimulation. I'm sorry if I forgot something

˚♡⋆｡˚♡⋆｡˚♡⋆｡˚♡⋆｡˚♡⋆｡˚♡⋆｡˚♡

You never thought about doing something like this. You had never imagined that you would end up agreeing to fulfill one of your boyfriend's fantasies. But you had given it a thousand thoughts, he had done it for you before, you could do the same for him once.

Your figure in the mirror made you feel like something didn't fit, maybe it was the soft tight lingerie that highlighted your skin, maybe it was the leather necklace that it sounded every time you moved or the pointy cat ears on your head. No, it was nothing like that, maybe it was the last accessory on the bed that you left for last, but just looking at it made your skin crawl.

It was a cute, fluffy cat tail.

Although you didn't want to accept it, all of this was embarrassing to you, you had never thought about wearing something like that. You sighed, looking at yourself for the last time in the glass, thinking about what to do, anyway Minho would never find out that you bought the outfit if you hid it.

You looked at the tail again and caressed it, you knew that without it the outfit would make no sense, but a part of you screamed that you looked ridiculous and the thought of what Minho would make you do dressed like that made you nervous.

Maybe you were being too accommodating to him, you threw things on the bed thinking about how things were before you met Minho, no one had ever made you even think about doing something like this, but here you were, in a set of lingerie just for him to tell you what to do.

“This is a bad idea,” you said as you decided where to hide what you bought.

***

Minho's cell phone hadn't stopped ringing the entire time, but no matter how much he wanted to take it out, he remained calm and composed because no one knew that he had a girlfriend. They had kept it a secret for a long time and they both agreed, they liked to be discreet, without pressure, and it was the best thing with the job he had.

He took out his cell phone to see the hundreds of calls he had from you and a single message. “I have a surprise for you <3” and that was enough to say goodbye.

“I have to go” he said, getting up from the table to get out of there.

At first the boys insisted that he stay, but after making excuses they agreed, accepting his decision.

“Do you think you can take me, I want to go too” Minho looked at Jisung looking for something to reject him, but he sighed in agreement. It would be a short way and he could get rid of him quickly he thought.

"you listening?" Minho finally let go of his thoughts and focused on his friend.

“Sorry, I'm distracted.”

“I noticed it” Jisung was not the most observant but he definitely knew that something was wrong with Minho, he kept moving his leg and looked at the time more than usual “are you in a hurry to get there?”

"A little bit"

It wasn't that he didn't want to spend time with his friend, but he hadn't seen you in a while and thinking that you had dialed hundreds of times made him think more than necessary. He just wanted to come into the house and hug you, kiss your sweet skin and sleep next to you until the next morning.

When the car finally stopped Minho didn't wait any longer and took the things from him.

"Bye bye."

"Are you OK? You act strange”

“I'm fine, it's nothing.”

"You're lying to me?"

"Nooo, I really feel good." He opened the car door and tried to say goodbye but he saw Han's worried face. "I'm serious."

“You don't convince me” Minho was losing his patience but he didn't want to be rude so he forced himself to take a deep breath and show a sincere smile.

“Han, why would I lie to you?” Jisung sighed, he knew Minho better than anyone, he knew that he was lying but he didn't understand why and that made him think about many things, "do you want to walk me to the door?"

“I think it would be best.”

Minho sighed tiredly and had no choice but to accept, at first he was worried that Han would see you but knowing you he knew that you would spend it in the room and that you had probably fallen asleep, so he didn't give it much importance and tried to act normal.

“Well, we're here and I'm fine.”

“Are you indirectly telling me to leave?”

"YES" he screamed in his head, but he actually laughed and grabbed his friend's shoulder to hug him.

“Nooo, but you don't want to come in, do you?”

"It would not bother me."

In their entire friendship there was never a time when Han would bother Minho as much as he did today, but it wasn't his fault, he didn't think that his best friend was hiding his girlfriend.

Minho had no choice but to take out the keys and open the door, sighing in annoyance and begging you not to come out, but as soon as he turned on the light he could only curse for not having thrown Han out the window.

The boys' jaws dropped when they saw a half-naked woman lying face down on one of the couches. Pointed ears adorned her head that matched the cute, big tail she wore on her butt. But as Minho had assumed you were asleep, so deeply that you hadn't even realized that someone had entered.

“Ahh… I… Ahhh” Han was still trying to get his eyes to take off from that woman's butt but now he knew why Minho was acting so strange, although the questions piled up in his throat. Who was she? Was she her friend? His lover? Did Minho have a girlfriend?

Minho hurried to close the door in case someone passed by, he was surprised, if this was your surprise he wasn't expecting it, he thought you had new pajamas or that you had bought cute lingerie, but not an animal outfit. He was cursing over and over again not knowing what to do, did he cover you? Did he drag his friend out? But then what? Would you tell others? Would it be his secret? Or would he keep it in some corner of his memory?

"Who is she?"

“This is not the time to ask”

“But… She's naked on your couch.” Han's voice sounded upset and even though he knew he shouldn't be there, his feet were glued to the floor.

"Be quiet"

“Wouldn't it be better if I left?”

“Don't you think it's too late?” Minho was quick to run to where you were and cover your body “we have to talk.”

Han couldn't hear him, he was focused on the girl's silhouette on the couch but he forced himself not to look when his friend came to where you were.

Minho felt a little embarrassed and humiliated, but he didn't want to put you through the same thing, although he could also feel the anger running through his veins at seeing you so calm, as if you were making fun of him.

He sat on the edge of the couch and caressed your bare back going down to the beginning of your panties and he stopped to see what you were wearing, he opened his mouth when he saw the cat's tail. How could you fall asleep with something like that on your ass?

The touch of his fingers made you react and you squirmed as you regained consciousness. You held back the urge to jump on him and hug him, instead you smiled placing your hand on his thigh caressing him.

“Surprise,” you whispered, closing your eyes again.

“I have a surprise for you too,” he said, moving closer to your ear and caressing the ears on your head.

You nodded without thinking, Minho was the only man who could order you anything and you would obey without complaining, even if he didn't ask you, just now that you left your shame aside just to please his fantasies no matter how stupid you felt.

"Yeah?"

“Aha…” Minho turned to look at his friend and you followed his gaze finding Jisung. Their eyes met for a few seconds but Han quickly turned in another direction.

Even though you had never seen him in person you could tell who he was. Han Jisung, Minho's best friend and co-worker. From time to time he used to tell you things about boys but especially about him. Even so, you couldn't help but feel a little exposed and you sat up trying to hide your body.

"What is he doing here? “You invited him without telling me?” Han took a step back as the whispers between you began to take the form of an argument. He was confused and his mind only thought about your butt “I look ridiculous.”

“Shhh it's not what it seems” Minho had regained his composure. He had an idea but he needed your help "this wasn't planned kitty" the nickname made your skin crawl, but it still couldn't calm your nerves "we can't let him go like this" Minho's eyes looked at his still friend and you You did the same, noticing how his hands covered his crotch. “Besides, you've always wanted to have a threesome, right?”

Minho's words seemed unreal. You didn't understand what was happening although his words made you think about the possibilities and the idea made you clench your legs.

"But are you sure?"

“No problem, believe me, I know him better than anyone” Minho caressed your cheek making you look into his eyes again. You were a little scared, but you trusted him, but you remembered the multiple times Minho refused to have a threesome, that was the only thing he hadn't agreed to, but now you could comply. You looked at his friend one last time and analyzed it better, he seemed like a good guy, a little nervous and shy, but you knew that he hadn't stopped looking at you.

With a little hesitation you moved on the couch, making the object in your ass move, reminding you that you were carrying it.

“I don't…”

“I know you too” he grabbed your chin and moved closer to your mouth “don't play dumb.”

Han turned around when he saw Minho kiss you. He was cursing himself for insisting so much on coming, but a part of him was grateful to have been able to see that pretty body of yours. He felt tense and a little sore in his crotch, now what he wanted to do was get to his house to touch his cock thinking about you.

"Are you ready?" He whispered when he took his lips off of you, a little dizzy you nodded trying to maintain your composure while Minho stood up leaving your body exposed again “I'm so sorry Han, I was rude” Jisung didn't dare look at his friend and just said. see the ceiling. Minho smiled, holding back his laughter and continued with sarcasm, “I think I haven't introduced them well. Han, she's my new pet” Jisung looked at you for a microsecond seeing that you had sat on your knees with your hands between your legs “kitty, he's our special guest, why don't you say hello?”

Han was still looking at the ceiling, ignoring his labored breathing when he noticed out of the corner of his eye that you got off the couch and started walking on all fours. Curiosity got the better of him and he met you when you caressed your head with his legs, tilting your torso to leave your butt up.

"Shit, this can't be happening" "it's a dream" Han thought when he noticed the details in your outfit.

“She likes you” Minho took his friend by the shoulder and forced him to walk to the couch “why don't you come with us? Surely you want to stay longer, right?”

Minho was making fun of Han and he knew it but even with his hands on his crotch he didn't know what to do. He didn't want to be an idiot, but when he saw you coming towards them he tried to get up. Minho was stronger and held him back, smiling as you climbed over both of their laps, letting your body fall into the boys' legs with your ass on Jisung's legs.

“Minho… Am…” his hands had been trapped under your body and he could feel the warmth of your belly in them, he was grateful and cursing in equal measure but this was being a lot to process “I… I'm sorry.” , I didn't think that… Umm… You were with someone.”

“It doesn't matter anymore, you're here now.” Minho caressed your head as you moved it over his member and Han swallowed to continue.

"But…"

“Shhh I know what you think” he said in a more serious tone, leaving aside the smile and sarcasm “you better take advantage before I regret it and force you to leave in that state”

Han was left with his mouth open, not knowing what to say and with a thousand questions rolling through his mind, but Minho's look had something that he had never seen before, he didn't want to know if his words were true. He let himself be carried away by the sensation of his member and let out a sigh when he released his hands from your body, revealing his erection in your belly.

Minho's hands in your hair and Han's on your back made you feel more relaxed than you expected. His caresses were soft and delicate, although Han's were a little trembling when they touched your butt. You allowed yourself to close your eyes, enjoying the softness of new hands on your body.

You shifted your hips in Han's lap and cursed when you felt his hardness rub against your pussy.

“Shit” Suddenly Minho grabbed your hair and raised your face, making you open your eyes to look at him.

"What's happening? Can cats talk?” A wave of shame washed over you, but you swallowed your pride and opened your mouth, letting out a low meow.

Han was freaking out, but he wanted to hear you meow again even just a little. He grabbed one of your buttocks and squeezed it, not caring that his friend was close to him. You looked in his direction but Minho held you tighter, making you look at him again with the warning in his eyes, making you meow again. higher.

“Much better,” Minho's mouth crashed onto your lips before protesting and this time Han couldn't help but look away, noticing how his mouths connected perfectly while his tongues played.

“Damn Minho.”

You separated from your boyfriend smiling and stood up to go with Han. Minho felt something light up inside him when he saw how you grabbed the face of his friend and brought him closer to bring his lips together. Han's kisses were softer, more delicate, trying to memorize his movements and control the rhythm. The boy's hands grabbed your face, trying to get you closer to him, putting his tongue in your mouth to taste you. They were starting to gain momentum and seemed to fit together better every second, so much so that you somewhat forgot about Minho putting you on top of Han's legs.

You were immersed in the softness of other lips, the movements of other kisses, the hands of another man touching your waist that when Minho grabbed your breasts from behind to massage them you had to break away to take a breath. Your back collided with his body and showed the spectacle of his caressing Han, who took the opportunity to lick your neck.

Minho managed to get rid of your bra to knead your flesh and pinch your nipples while he watched your face rest on his abdomen and Jisung's mouth devour your neck. His gaze connected and he smiled a little as he saw your eyes begging for more, but he wouldn't give it to you easily, not after seeing how much you enjoyed the kisses and caresses of his friend.

Jisung was intoxicated by your skin, he didn't think any had flavor but yours was sweet and addictive. He couldn't stop and he fit his teeth a little making you let out a moan, he continued going down until he found hands denying him access to your breasts. He dared to look up at his friend and with a growl Minho stopped massaging one to let him continue while he wrapped his fingers around your neck.

Han's tongue drew circles on one of your nipples while the other was crushed between Minho's fingers. You let your fingers tangle in Han's hair as you watched Minho a little displeased without taking your eyes off of him.

You knew what Minho could be if he was jealous and even if you didn't say it you liked him a little, ignoring his gaze you moved your hips forward rubbing yourself on Han's member. The boy's muffled sighs reached Minho's head, he squeezed the grip on your neck looking at you with a sideways smile.

You couldn't focus on just one part of your body, your whole body was immersed in new sensations. Han's mouth on your chest, Minho's fingers on your neck, Han's cock caressing your pussy, Minho's hardness on your back, the growing humidity in your panties, but above all every time you moved you could feel the toy in your ass It wasn't unpleasant, it felt good and it even made you squirm a little to seek more satisfaction. It was something a little new and even though you still thought you looked ridiculous you secretly liked it a little. Being humiliated and obeying Minho tickled your core, but having two men do the same thing made you burn inside.

You couldn't speak and every time you opened your mouth to moan you closed it again, you didn't want to meow again. Seeing it, Minho took the opportunity to make fun of you.

“What's up kitten?” His hand made light pressure on the necklace you were wearing. “Are you thirsty?” Do you want some milk?” You opened your eyes and smiled, dare him a little.

"Yeah"

Minho took your body and you obeyed without resistance. Even with his hand on your neck, he turned you and kissed you, trying to replace the trail of Jisung's kisses, you moaned when you felt his teeth catch your lips while his hands descended to your center. You grabbed his shoulders as you felt the sudden sensation of his fingers massaging your clit and you heard laughter behind you drawing your body to the couch.

They laid you down, placing your head on one end and you could see Han unbuttoning his pants while shame painted your face at the sight of his cock exposed to him. You licked your lips as you saw the drops of semen running down the base to his balls, you shifted, getting comfortable and letting your hair hang a little.

“I'll be good to you, cutie.” Minho ignored the nickname and nodded while his friend looked for approval in his eyes. You opened your lips, feeling the weight of the tip on your tongue. You moaned, sending shivers down Han's spine as he watched you stroke his cock, savoring the first drops.

He couldn't wait any longer, he pushed his hips slowly enjoying the view of how you swallowed his cock and adapted to his size. You moaned as you felt the pressure on your throat as he began to move again to begin his thrusts.

Minho would have been lying if he said he wasn't enjoying it a little, he felt the pressure in his pants every time he saw how your body twitched when Han pushed his hips into your mouth, but he wasn't going to stay behind watching how his friend made you feel good. He placed himself between your legs, separating your knees, revealing the wet spot on your panties and smiled, passing his fingers just to have a little fun. He bit his lips to suppress a moan as he moved the fabric to see your wet pussy and he didn't wait any longer to taste you.

Your legs reacted quickly when you felt Minho's tongue move in your pussy but he held you back, continuing to lick your juices and swirl your clit. You moaned into Han's cock letting a bit of spittle run from the corners of your mouth as you were imprisoned beneath him.

You moved your hips searching for Minho's tongue but his arms quickly held you in place.

“Don't be impatient kitten” Minho watched as Han's face contorted making his last movements while he grabbed your breasts, pressing your nipples to make you moan. He sighs, running his fingers over your entrance, inserting two of them to touch the right spot inside to help his friend get pleasure from him.

Han moved his hips with difficulty as he felt his cock tremble, releasing his load into your mouth. You thirstily swallowed as much as you could but in the end some drops escaped, letting them run down your neck. Han pulled out, but your ragged breathing only made Minho continue pounding his fingers deep into you.

“Min… I'm going to cum.”

“Scream my name kitten” Minho didn't stop, he continued pounding your pussy and he could feel your walls squeeze his fingers and see how you were fighting not to shed tears, your heavy breathing and his name leaving your sweet lips made him almost forget that he had ever met you seen enjoying someone else, when he saw your back arch and clench your fists he stopped denying you the pleasure.

Tears fell, painting your face at Minho's decision, your body was restless and you needed to calm it down. You stood up, staggering a little, if he didn't want to give it to you you would look for someone who would.

You found Han sitting on the single couch and crawled over to him without thinking about your boyfriend. You climbed onto his lap, turning your back to him to look at Minho sitting watching the show. You rolled your hips, feeling Han's cock harden again as he touched your entrance and rubbed your clit. Minho's eyes were dark and flashing warnings at you, but that only made the adrenaline in your body ignite making you spread your legs and line up his friend's cock in your needy pussy.

You sank slowly, drawing moans from Han as he fit his fingers into your skin, you moaned when you felt his full length, you didn't stop when you thought and you began to bounce looking for your own pleasure accompanied by the tinkling of the bell on your neck. You bit your lips without taking your eyes off Minho as you noticed that he had taken his cock out and started massaging it. Han had his face buried in your neck singing praises about how good you felt.

You continued on your way, feeling your body burn with Han's kisses on your back, his hands playing with your breasts, your eyes focused on Minho holding back from cumming in his hand, the way the toy in your ass tightened with each jump you made and how your walls had squeezed Han's cock feeling it tremble.

“Don't stop, cutie” You closed your eyes following the sensation of pleasure throughout your body, you moaned non-stop until the knot in your stomach was released, letting Han continue mixing his juices with you and Minho dripping his hand with his semen. .**

You collapsed into Han's chest and regained your breath, but Minho immediately stood up, stealing you and carrying your tired body.

“Go clean yourself up, I'll take care of her.” Han didn't dare to look at his friend while he carried your body to the room.

You opened your eyes looking at Minho's face as he placed you on the bed and took off your ears and the collar you were wearing.

“Minho…”

"yes darling?" He asked, stroking your hair.

"are you angry?" Minho smiled and denied, kissing your forehead, he always looked for your happiness and was not angry about what had happened although he was not going to admit that he was a little jealous.

You closed your eyes concentrating on his hands, you sighed as you felt his delicate kisses on your chest slowly moving down your abdomen. He turned you around and caressed your buttocks, resisting the urge to caress the cat tail you still wore. He took it and kissed your back, slowly removing it. You couldn't help but moan at the sensations in your body because of how delicate he was. You were exhausted, but not satisfied, you needed him.

“Min…” you turned your head to look at him and blushed just thinking about what you were about to say “I need you.”

You thought he would tease or make you beg for it, but he just leaned in to kiss you, letting his fingers touch your sensitive pussy. You muffled your moans into his mouth as you felt the length of him passing through your pussy. Minho was also needy for you, he didn't have time to joke or play with you, he just wanted to feel you.

He lifted your hips, plunging his cock into your walls and moaned your name. “Are you still so tight after that?” You took the sheets in your hands as you felt the first push of his hips. Minho didn't stop and started following the rhythm that you both liked.

Your sensitive pussy didn't stop clenching around his cock and Minho could only keep bucking his hips, seeking his release. Your legs shook announcing your arrival making your boyfriend pound faster to reach you but in the end you couldn't hold it back and you came all over his cock, but Minho continued to seek his own pleasure.

“Just a little more kitty” Your entire body contracted, you could no longer stand the sensations and you began to cry when you felt so much pleasure. Minho felt his cock tremble inside you and he lay on your back feeling his cum running down your walls spilling up to your thighs “you did well” You closed your eyes resting finally letting Minho take care of the rest.

When Minho finished cleaning you and taking a shower he went out to the living room to see his friend at the door. Han noticed it and he clenched his fists, forcing himself to apologize.

"where are you going?"

“Home… I… I'm so sorry I shouldn't have insisted on coming here… I won't say a word to anyone, I promise.”

Minho laughed and approached his friend.

“I know you won't say anything, forget what just happened, it was just… a game” Minho dragged his friend back inside and checked the time “stay the night, it's already late.”

"oh really?"

"Of course, you're my friend."

“but… the three of us won't fit in the bed” Minho suddenly became serious and separated from Han.

“you will sleep on the floor”

“Hey, I was just joking.” Han went to hug his friend, trying to forget what happened a few hours ago.

[oceansarepink]

I wouldn't blame anyone for finding Look My Way too Stolas-sympathetic and weepy but honestly I think on the whole it's way better than most of the songs he gets in the show

and that's because it actually has a narrative arc to it. Stolas reflects on his life, realizes he is the problem between him and Blitzo, actually shows some empathy for the armor Blitzo has developed as a result of being impoverished, then decides on an action: making amends for making Blitzo a means to an end. and it retains his original classist character by having the impish plaything line that the show whitewashed over

it still has the same problem anything Stolas related does in that it's hard to care about his repeated pleas for Blitzo to look his way, but it's a far more concise view of him as a character and crucially he actually shows some ability to self reflect in it and then take action based on his conclusions

ParanoidDJ released the original after ep6 but honestly it would fit perfectly in the show after ep7, where Stolas comes back in from the party. instead of getting drunk, maybe he stops and makes himself think about where things went wrong

instead the songs he has in the show are

Stolas Sings - immediately implies Blitzo lied to him, so no self reflection or introspection. It's set up he'll go to get a crystal but that isn't referenced in the lyrics, it's just a split second freeze frame when he chucks his book into view of the camera which is bad storytelling. It's all self focused self pity - he's the victim and that's that. no sign of care for what he's done to Blitzo or Via unlike Look My Way.

All 2 U - a breakup reflection where he does no self reflection or introspection. blames Blitzo for stuff he did (let him get too close/go on too long/fell too far). all self focused self pity - he's the victim and that's that

duet number - does say he maybe did something wrong, but it only counts if Blitzo didn't actually want him (then when Blitzo confirms that, he proceeds to...show no self reflection or introspection - just he's the victim and that's that, you get the idea)

the show numbers not only fail to move the plot forward, they don't move Stolas' character forward at all. Look My Way really sticks out as one of his numbers because it's basically the only one where he does explicitly say 'I'm in the wrong and need to fix things' where in the show it's always 'maybe I did something wrong, maybe, but you hurt me so you're more wrong and I'm putting off doing any self reflection on what my issues are until Tuesday - when I'll put it off again'.

he's far more proactive in LMW too - he doesn't sound like he'll just give up on making amends at the first failure. meanwhile Show Stolas has done only two proactive things when it comes to Blitzo onscreen: making the deal and breaking the deal. both things were done for his own benefit and he's now back to being passive and expecting Blitzo to be the one to come crawling back to court him even though Blitzo has every reason to think he moved on with the succubus dude to spite him in particular

This moment here

It wasn’t him feeling some guilt/remorse for how obnoxious and forceful he behaved, or sympathy for Blitzs unhappiness. He is thinking “Aww….he doesn’t love me, that makes me so sad. Poor me. I deserve love. I just want a lover.”

Well anon, the simple explanation LMW stolas is so different…..is, Vivienne/Sam Haft didn’t write that. They both do think stolas is the more innocent and more victimised party. That’s why before Full Moons confrontation, stolas has sung not one, not two but three sad ballads about his soft boy romantic feelings. And it’s why stolas’ personality was changed drastically between his nasty truth seekers self to his Ozzies bleeding heart self. To make you forget his 1-6 self ever happened and pity him.

While blitz was only allowed to smirk and make sex jokes in a verse of stolas’ third sad song. With the intent of making him look like the “real” pervert with a cold black heart. His verse in when I see him was intended by Sam to set up “that your first instinct is that it’s always (gasp) about sex (closes eyes solemnly)” line. Stolas is allowed to have an inner monologue, desires, worries, regrets and hopes. Blitz is only allowed say “fuck” “penis” and “im traumatised”** with an asterisk saying that makes him an asshole and not “baby” stolas’ fault. Spoken to you in apology tour dialogue delivered by the lovely: Vivienne Mayday aka Verosika Medrano.

Viv didn’t write look my way, and disagrees with the narrative.

She hates Octavia for not being more grateful to her father and thinks stolas deserves to be free from being her parent. So took his line about her out of the song. Twitter emboldened her to go through with this belief. So she took her line out of LMW.

She hates blitz for disliking upper classes, implies he’s “just like a supremacist” against princes for it. I think this also came from Twitter. You are NOT allowed to point out the racism of stolas or you’ll be branded a striker sympathiser.

She agrees with stolas fans that the real reason blitz doesn’t trust stolas’ gifts with no catch is nothing to do with stolas’ previous exploitative transactional actions….it is….because of his own mean imp father? Because Cash taught him love is transaction. A very convenient excuse Viv absorbed again, from Twitter and YouTube.

Cuz….it was cash. Not the sexual extorter who held his job over his head. That’s his soulmate cause owls only mate once via eye contact and die of broken hearts if they can’t have their mate forever. His 25 year long lust for someone he only knew as a child isn’t weird at all wdym. In fact all the bad stuff is Blitzs fault.

She absorbed all of this nonsense from Twitter takes, specifically the stolas stans, because she thinks putting fandom talking points into canon is a safe bet. The actual story is out the window, there isn’t one.

See how letting the stolas fandom twitter write your story for you makes for a biased fucked up victim blaming story that coddles a sexual abuser with “involuntarily celibate” arguments?

When she makes stolas reflect and take accountability, the reaction she wants you to have is “Poor baby stolas blames himself which shows what a good little boy he is! Even though nothing is ever his fault!” She just wanted to make money off of someone else’s work.

[digitaldiarystuff]

Unexpected

omg i can’t believe ruben won the poll with like one vote! thank you so much everyone who voted and this is the story you’ve been waiting for, this is more like a prologue and make sure to give any opinions about the story to help me carry on💖

————

pairing: Ruben Dias x Y/N

summary: falling for your best friend is a bad idea, everyone knows that but what if it’s too late?

genre: again, a bit of everything

————

This is a story of two best friends.

Ruben was your best friend in the world, he was the one you turned to whenever things went south and he did the same. He listened to your daily rants about from people on the streets to your secrets, your relationship was perfect. You even got a job at Manchester and took the offer just to be closer to him and he was so grateful about your sacrifice.

So when did it become complicated? 6 months ago you were just dumped by the guy you were seeing and were fed up about not finding the one. Ruben, being the best friend he is, drove to you after his game and gave you his opinion on the topic.

“I think you’re too high maintenance.” he said whilst stealing a spoonful of ice cream from your part. He was extremely careful with his diet but this was after a match so he didn’t care.

“Hey!” you said both for stealing your snack and saying you’re high maintenance. “I’m not” you said offended but he just laughed.

“No okay I didn’t mean it like that. I just meant you have your standards and you get frustrated when they aren’t met.” he shrugged, if this was any other day, you’d think about this but tonight you were in defence mode.

“You’re one to talk, you can’t even find someone to have 2 consecutive dates for months because ‘oh Y/N I don’t know, she’s nice but…’

Now it was his turn to get offended.

“I need someone who can handle my lifestyle. It’s not easy, you know.”

You didn’t know how this conversation turned into you being laid down on your back in his bed taking him while he whispered in your ear how good you were. This was the first time it happened, something that you feared would change your relationship permanently. You couldn’t even blame this on alcohol as Ruben hardly drank, it was just your instincts and needs. Things became awkward immediately and you didn’t know how to approach it. After a few days with no contact, you decided it was stupid and childish to avoid each other and called him.

He came over to your place to talk and you had agreed about this being a one time thing because if it escalated, it’d put you in a hard position. It was actually Ruben who said it and you couldn’t say no because it was the truth. Two best friends hooking up was not the smart thing to do.

However, your infatuation with your best friend didn’t stop there. In fact, it only grew stronger because now you paid attention to his every move and blushed when he held you. You tried to be strong but one night out with the girls made you crawl back to Ruben, you called him after the night slowed down and asked him to pick you up. You normally wouldn’t knowing his early practice sessions but you couldn’t help it and once you walked in his house you threw yourself at him. You actually weren’t black out drunk but decided to go for it anyway because if he pushed you away you could blame it on the alcohol but he didn’t push you or yell at you. He kissed you back immediately holding your waist and telling you to jump. You had your second mind blowing sex that night.

It continued like this for a while, you thought it’d just be sexual and maybe it could’ve worked. Casual sex as best friends with benefits but it had to feel normal, you were spending even more time together now and most of it was just hanging out and doing things you enjoy, nothing too crazy or romantic but one thing that changed was you cuddled which was one of the first times ever. Before this, you only cuddled when the other needed extreme support but now you were all over each other at any given minute. At least that’s what it was like up until Ruben left the country for a camp for a whole month. You kept in touch but it wasn’t all day every day and you just figured he was busy.

You were currently getting ready for one of your friends wedding and this was also the first time you were going to see Ruben after a long while. As you were touching up your make-up your best friend Elena came in.

“Hey” she said trying to be calming but she had on a weird look.

“Hey, what’s up?”

“Heyy, are you Ruben’s plus one for the night?”

“What? No, I’m not, why?”

“Well, the planner just said there was a plus one in his invitation and I thought you’d get your own invitation but just wanted to double check.” she said nonchalantly but you froze for a moment before replying.

“Um, it’s not me. Maybe he’s bringing a friend.” you said confused about it but Elena was too occupied in herself to notice.

“You didn’t talk?”

“Nope, he’s been at a camp for a month.”

“Oh yeah” she said and went on talking about his relationship drama but you lost focus quickly.

Your confusion soon turned to shock when you finally saw who was Ruben’s plus one. It was Angela.

Angela was Ruben’s ex and she was a gorgeous girl, she was quite nice actually and she never had any problems with your closeness with Ruben which is all you can ask for your best friend’s girlfriend. At least it was until you hooked up with him. Now you didn’t know how you should feel although there was a little sting at your heart.

Your mind was racing with thoughts, this means that they’re back. Does she know, why hadn’t he said anything, how were you supposed to react? All this time you thought this was as innocent as it can get, just two best friends helping each other out but right now, you were questioning your feelings towards Ruben for the first time. You felt your stomach turn at the thought of him with Angela, but you quickly told yourself this was wrong. It was probably because the sex was out of this world and nothing else, it was just a stupid phase people go through and come out the other end stronger. Ruben was happy with Angela and apparently they found their way back to each other. As a best friend you should be happy about it and forget the newly found emptiness in your chest. This meant you had to step back immediately to let him be with the woman he actually loved. This was the right thing to do for both your sakes.

You realized you were stood there watching them for a while and decided to sneak out before they see you but just as you were turning around Ruben’s gaze found yours and every positive affirmation you gave yourself about not caring went out the window.