#if none of that made sense to you wait like 12 hours this is my personal list of things i was thinking about tonight

[lipssoscarlett]

i have work in like 9 hours and i haven't slept so here's a quick list so i remember what i want to talk about

failed coming out

not delivering on things said in miss americana

like is she scared from the 🛴 situation/failed coming out?

13/8/7/6/2/3 probability

her political views & queerness

not wanting to talk about politics* not wanting queerness to be political

touchy female friendships + how queer women *usually* don't have them (jessica vid) (internalized homophobia)

conspiracy theory- how many people need to lie

the karlie of it all

she/her ing in singapore 1989 (kaylor timeline)

dublin n3 songs on the anniversary- masters and coming out

coming out dress ofc

the devastation of changed plans (im autistic)

*staying silent & not wanting to alienate shitty people & people pleasing (interview abt how people booing her affected her -> ttpd people pleasing) & is it okay to be apolitical?

[bangchansgirlsblog]

Broken Headsets PT 2

-Chan

Warning: A lot of Angst.

Pairing: BangChan x reader.

Summary: where he snaps at you while working.

!Not proofread!

**

“Baby I’m so sorry, please open up the door.” Chan’s voice echoes through the door and into the bathroom.

My knees against my chest as I was calming down from a panic attack. The sleeves on my sweater now dump from all the tears it was sucking up.

“G-go away” I cry louder. My body shaking and my salty tears freely running down my hot face.

“I don’t…I don’t want to talk to you right now!”

“Babe I’m sorry okay? I didn’t mean to snap like that. Just let me talk to you. Let me hold you. I’m worried. Your going to have another panic attack”

“BangChan leave me alone. I don’t want to talk to you.” I throw whatever was in my reach at the wooden door. Making him jump on the other side of the door. Now HE couldn’t hold back his tears. He wanted to be able to sort it out because he genuinely didn’t mean to snap Or cause anyone pain.

“Okay I’ll give you some time my love, please don’t be angry with me. I’m sorry.” His voice now low and quiet. I had no response because I was so angry and so hurt by him.

I wasn’t being dramatic right?

The sound of his footsteps disappear down the hall making me quickly but softly wipe my tears away and get up to wash my face. The cold water making my body shiver. I stare at myself. Hair up in a bun, eyes red and eye bags deep from all the lack of sleep. A fucking mess.

The front door slamming was what made me jump getting me out of the trance I was in. Had he left? I pick up the container that was on the ground due to the fact I threw it and open the bathroom door.

I find Berry sat in-front of it as if waiting for me. I give her a soft smile and pick her up.

Walking through the house looking for any sign of Chan but there was none.

I glance at the clock and it read 12:45. Anger rises up my chest once again because how dare he leave the house at this hour knowing how much anxiety I have when his out late? Such a selfish bastard!

Get home.

I send him a text and switch off my phone to look around. A mess the house was.

“Shall we clean up Berry?” I look at the dog in my hands who didn’t even seem to be bothered by anything. “I swear I talk to you more than I talk to Chan” a chuckle leaves my lips when she starts licking my face.

“Now come on let’s get started.” I place her down and pick up things and put them away. My body needing the distraction but my mind and thoughts running at a speed of lightning.

Emotions running through “my mind and soul”. Cringe lol.

2:30 am.

The sound of the clock ticking was starting to irritate me and craw under my skin.

Worry slowly crawling up my chest. Where was he? Was he safe? Was he okay? Where could he be?

I hated myself for putting my self through this because after the little stunt he pulled causing me to sit in the bathroom crying my heart out for 2 hours begging for someone to come save me. I was still sat in our living at 2:30 am waiting and wondering where he had gone too.

Did he leave me? Surely he hadn’t cause all his stuff was still here.

My feet slowly taps the floor, something I do when I’m nervous. I tag on my sweater which is now stretched out due to the constant pulling. The material laying between my fingers feeling very satisfying.

“Why do you have to do this to me Chan?” I say softly, talking to myself.

The house was quiet once again like I’m used too.

The lights were off except for his studio room led lights that were on and passing through the glass window.

Berry was now sat on my lap cuddling me because I knew she sensed the stress my body was going through. She always just knew and she always tried to cuddle of just play around whenever Chan or I where going through something.

A sigh leaves my lips. I was tired. I needed sleep but I needed to know if he was safe.

I check my phone to see if he had responded but nothing came through and when I was about to set down the phone it stars to buzz making me jolt up. Han’s name pops up with a picture of me and him when we were at an adventure park in Japan.

I quickly pick up the phone hoping that somehow Chan was with him and they were doing some project.

“Hello?” My voice rough but still soft from all the crying.

“Hey baby.” He says softly from the other end of the phone.

“Hey..”

“Are you doing okay?” He asks, I could hear the nervous tone in his voice.

“Mhm” a hum in response.

“Channie Hyung is with us in the dorms okay? He showed up here really upset so we told him to just stay over until everything is calm,”

I feel my heart break into pieces. Was he really that upset that he didn’t want to stay in the same home as me? He knew how I hated when he didn’t sleep at home.

“Oh, okay that’s alright. Thank you for letting me know,” I tell him. A weigh being lifted off my shoulder because now that I knew he was safe I could sleep or so I thought.

After hanging up the phone. I slowly put Berry aside and cleanup the cold plate that’s till say on the table and decide to finish up the dishes.

The scent of soap filling my nostrils and a warm liquid running down my face. Tears.

Who would have thought that I would be here at the age of 25 doing dishes at 2 am while crying.

My vision was blurry and my legs were weak. My heart beating fast as I could hear it in my ears.

My face was hot and my body trembled from the heart aching sobs that left it.

I couldn’t be under this much stress.

It wasn’t good for the baby.

**

Pt 1 ⬇️

[dreamescapeswriting]

Smutober Day 10 ~ Daddy Kink ~ Yoongi [M]

WORD COUNT: 1.9k

PAIRING: Yoongi x Fem!Reader  

GENRE: established relationships, minors DNI, daddy kink, use of a vibrator, Spanking, punishment, aftercare

⤜Copyright: © DreamEscapesWriting - Smutober 2023

⤜MASTERLIST

You heard Yoongi's keys before he'd even put them inside of the door and you smirked to yourself. It had been a long day and you were looking forward to your boyfriend coming home to spend time with you. Yoongi kicked off his shoes inside the porch and smiled to himself when he saw how clean the house was. The two of you took it in turns to do the housework and it was supposed to be his day today after the 12-hour shift at work he was quite happy to not have to clean when he got home tonight.

"Baby? Thank you for cleaning for me!" He called out, hanging up his coat and slowly making his way up the staircase to where he knew you would be. It was almost 8pm and he knew you were going to be getting yourself ready for bed no doubt and he was much looking forward to crawling into bed with you and watching whatever show you'd decided to fixate on lately.

"Welcome back, Daddy." You called out as Yoongi entered the bedroom, you were dressed in a pale blue babydoll dress and Yoongi's mouth watered and his jeans grew tighter. This had to be one of his favourite sights when he came home from a long day at the office and he adored seeing you here ready for him though he hadn't been expecting it.

"What a great welcome back," He groans walking toward the bed and gently running his fingers over the sheer fabric that was covering your tits making you whimper a little. Any touch from him turned you into a mess and he knew it very well,

"Did you get all dressed up for me?" He took off his tie, throwing it down onto the nightstand as you kept your eyes on him. There was something about seeing Yoongi coming home from a day at the office that made you so much needier than usual.

"I wanted to look good for you. I missed you, you've been gone forever!" You pouted, but Yoongi could see right through you and he knew that there was something wrong. He hadn't been gone as long as you were making out and he could tell that you'd either done something you shouldn't have or were planning on asking him for something.

"What do you want, princess?" He ran his thumb over your bottom lip and waited for you to tell him something but your eyes stayed locked onto his.

"Nothing. Why would I want something?" You titled your head to the side and then he narrowed his eyes at you, quickly realising this wasn't something you wanted but rather something you'd already done. The house was clean, overly clean and stared down at you,

"What did you do today?" He narrowed his eyes at you a little. It was now beginning to make sense, the house was clean and you were dressed like this and waiting for him. There had to be something wrong.

"I cleaned...Then I did some baking and saw my friends for a little bit." It was the truth, you'd seen some friends earlier but it wasn't the whole truth and none of it was fooling Yoongi, he could see on your face that there was something more to the story than what you were telling him. His eyes danced around the room to see if there was anything out of place and that was when he realised that the bedsheets were different. This morning when he left they were the red silk sheets and now you'd changed them to a cow-printed design,

"Why did you change the sheets?" He questioned, tilting his head to the sheets and then looking at you, 

"They needed changing." You answered quickly, too quickly and it was a clear sign you were lying.

"We only changed them last night, beautiful. What did you do?" Your silence spoke louder than anything you could ever say and Yoongi smirked a little, shaking his head at you.

"Did you break some rules today princess?" He already knew the answer to his question but he was going to give you a chance to come clean.

"No." You mumbled, playing with the strings of your babydoll dress and waiting for him to move on from this question,

"Hmm, are you lying to me?" He rounded his way over to the bedside table on your side and chuckled when he already saw everything he needed to see. Your toys were out of place and he was shaking his head at you,

"You know you're not allowed to play with yourself unless Daddy says so." You knew the rules but it hadn't stopped you earlier, you couldn't help it. For some reason, you'd been feeling needier than ever lately and since Yoongi wasn't there you figured he'd never know...Until you'd made a complete mess of the sheets and needed to wash them all.

"I needed to," You grumbled a little but Yoongi shook his head at you, a smirk playing on the corners of his lips as he watched you squirm beneath his gaze.

"Needed? Is that pussy that desperate to be filled?" When you said nothing in response to him, he took your chin into his grasp and turned your head to look at him,

"Answer me, angel."

"Y-Yes." You stuttered out, your heart racing as he stared back at you and pouted at you, 

"And did I not satisfy my girl enough this morning?" You said nothing once again and he let out a dark laugh as he thought about you pleasuring yourself without him.

"Did you imagine it was Daddy's cock that you were bouncing on?" You watched him as he rolled the sleeves of his shirt up, your panties already pooling with wetness from the sight of his action,

"Yes, Daddy."

"You broke the rules, What does that mean?" He slid off his blazer and laid it across the office chair that you had in front of your vanity and you swallowed the nervous lump in your throat as you watched your boyfriend being so eerily calm.

"I get punished," You mumbled.

"I'm disappointed in you Yn. We have these rules for reasons." He tuts as he shakes his head at you, sitting down on the edge of the bed

"I'm sorry." You pleaded with him, you knew it wouldn't stop the punishment from coming but it was at least worth a shot,

"Sorry isn't going to stop your punishment and you know it. Get on your hands and knees." He orders as you pout a little, getting down onto your hands and knees on the bed while Yoongi smirks to himself. He had the perfect punishment in mind so he got up,

"Which toy did you use today, princess?" His voice came out soft as he made his way to the drawer, reaching through the contents.

"The pink one." You stated plainly before he pulled out the vibrator and made his way back over you chuckling deeply as he did so.

"Did you use the remote?" He quizzed, placing the small pink remote into his trouser pocket and staring at you as you met his gaze,

"No."

"So you let yourself cum all over it without teasing yourself first?" He shakes his head, ripping the panties off your body and making you squeal at him.

"They were my favourite!" You yelled out at him in disapproval but Yoongi didn't care, right now it was about punishing you and the satisfaction of ruining your favourite pair of panties just added to his mood.

"Now they're gone." He told you as he ran his finger along your slit, smirking when he already found you dripping for him.

"Someone's needy." He whispered, slowly running his finger up to your clit and rubbing small and gently circles against you,

"V-Very needy," You whined trying to push your hips back so that you could feel more of him but he pulled his hand away and took the vibrator into his hand.

"You're being punished." He reminded you as he ran the tip of the vibrator through your folds and you did the best you could not to moan out. 

"You sensitive baby?" He cooed sarcastically,

"Y-yes!" You cried out as he pushed it into you all the way, letting it adjust as you dug your nails into the sheets below you.

"You shouldn't have played earlier, princess. Now you'll be too exhausted for me," He shakes his head as he slowly turns the vibrations on, your eyes shutting tightly as you let out a small whimper

"S-Sorry, Daddy." You whined out as he chuckled a little watching your hips buck and moans fall from your lips. It was one of the prettiest sights he'd ever seen and he was about to make this one of the best punishments he'd ever done.

Smirking to himself he slowly turned the vibrator up to medium, watching as you cried out his name, your head pushing into the sheets below you.

"F-Fuck! Daddy!" You cry out, your whole body felt as though it was on fire and that familiar tightening inside of you began to grow too tight. You were so close, whimpering and panting your boyfriend's name out until the vibrations came to a sudden stop.

"What-" You barely had time to finish your question before a hard spank hit your exposed ass and you cried out.

"That's fucking mean!" You cried out, another spank hitting you on the opposite ass cheek this time.

"No swearing, god. You're just in the mood to break all the rules tonight." He sighs turning the vibrator back on to full this time, your knees 

"How many times did you cum without permission?" He questioned, watching as you moaned into the sheets your eyes screwed tightly shut as you tried to focus on him. Only when you didn't answer him quick enough a spank was delivered to your ass,

"ONCE! J-Just Once!" You promised, your hands holding onto the sheets tightly as Yoongi nodded in approval.

"Good girl." A few more spanks were delivered to your ass and you cried out in a mixture of pleasure and pain. Yoongi always knew your limits and you knew you had a safe word if things went too far for you.

"You close baby? I can see you clenching around the toy."

"Mhm." Is all you can manage to get out,

"Words. Use them."

"So close! So close Daddy! Please," You moaned out as Yoongi's cock throbbed beneath his boxers, he delivered another spank to your ass and you cried out. 

"Cum." He ordered before spanking you one last time, as soon as he gave you permission your whole body exploded as you clenched around the vibrating toy inside of you. your thighs burning as you fell down onto your stomach on the bed, twitching on the spot as your orgasm rode out of you.

"You did so well," Yoongi praised as he gently took the toy from you, placing it next to your ripped panties so he could wash it later,

"Yoongi." You whined as he sat down beside you on the bed, reaching for a small bottle of soothing cream and applying it to your ass. It stung at first but it quickly faded as the cream began to work its way into your skin.

"Let me run a bath and we'll go and relax in there for a while," He told you before gently kissing your shoulder and watching as you laid on your stomach, relaxing a little as he retreated to the bathroom.

Tagline: @chiisaiblog @sw33tnight @kaitieskidmore97 @stayconnecteed @saymyspringrain @laylasbunbunny @tinyoonsblog @whitefoxgirl @katnisspeetaprim @acciocriativity @just-aelia @minhosify @choisoorin @straykids5star @heyjiminnie @beccaskz @scarletemeterio @btsiguess-kpop @halesandy

[cafeinthemoon]

Ruins - Part XXI + Extra Content

Chapter 22

Wordcount 3,3k

Title Part XXI

Fandom Shuumatsu no Valkyrie / Record of Ragnarok

Previous chapters

1 . 2 . 3 . 4 . 5 . 6 . 7 . 8 . 9 . 10 . 11 . 12 . 13 . 14 . 15 . 16 . 17 . 18 . 19 . 20

Symbols ⭕ . ➕ . 💛

Warnings: none

Tagging @holdyourwine @lilacshouko @shirayuki-ayumi @telvess (If you want to be tagged in any of my stories, just leave a comment on this chapter or send an ask or a message)

N. A.: I'm glad I can share this chapter with you bc I couldn't wait to post it anymore! I wanted this moment between them to be special not only bc it is, you know, they honeymoon, but bc what it will mean for both of them in the future: the trust, the intimacy and the respect they have for each other can be sensed in each second, and it's expected to grow stronger. I really wanted to depict what a healthy relationship means when I had the idea for this story, and that's why I'm putting such effort in these things.

Also I wanted to include some humor in it as well, so I hope you enjoy the content by the end of this chapter as well haha

Your face warmed up when the god revealed his identity.

So, the doctor of the gods is Apollo’s son.

You would still need time to conciliate it, since Asclepius looked like a twin of his own father, but despite your surprise, you soon caught up with the good manners and greeted him with the owned respect.

– It is an honor for me to finally meet you as well, Asclepius-sama – you gave him a fainting smile – I apologize for my first reaction, but you really resemble the God of the Su…

Your last word was interrupted by a sudden decrease on your blood pressure, and your head fell back on your pillow. Hades rushed to your side.

– Y/n? – he helped you to sit and adjusted the pillow behind your back – Are you alright?

– I am – you sighed – For a moment, my body felt heavy again and my sight got dark, but it’s coming back again…

When your sight was finally reestablished, you looked at Asclepius and noticed he had a serious expression. He approached your spot and sat on the bed, placing the cane beside him and taking off the bag from his shoulder.

– These episodes of weakness… when exactly did they start?

You made an effort to remember, but even this was painful for you.

– One or two hours after I drank the ambrosia, I guess. But it was easy to handle... at least until I sensed the beginning of a headache. I passed out for the first time in our way here, on the corridor. But this isn’t everything: while I stood here, waiting for you, my Lord, I noticed my senses... increasing – you indicated the opened balcony with a frail hand – I’ve been hearing the nightly animals as if they’re close to this room, but they’re actually miles away, and all these sounds make the headache worst.

Asclepius thought of this for a moment, a hand under his chin. Then, he took out a strange instrument from his bag, something that resembled a portable mirror.

– Please, put your palm over the lens – he asked and you obeyed, putting your hand over the place where the glass would be if it was a mirror – Keep it there for a few seconds.

You sensed a cold upon your skin, as a glowing light appeared and vanished, little by little until everything was dark again. The exam was finished. Asclepius thanked your collaboration and analyzed the instrument. You glanced over the lens and noticed a purplish glow over them, in a shade that resembled the one of your hair now.

– It is just as Zeus-sama said – he started – You are on the growing spectrum. The blessed fluid is slowly assimilating your natural characteristics and expanding them beyond the human limits. However, your body is still mortal, and this is the cause of the uncomfortable symptoms: your immune system still views these changes as signs of sickness and it’s trying to fight it, but as the ambrosia takes over your cells, turning them into divine ones, they will become the majority, and your body will no longer react as if you were sick.

You swallowed. Knowing what was going on with your body was somewhat relieving, but you were still worried about the possibility of the symptoms increasing, and you exposed those preoccupations to him.

– About this, I might have a solution – he replied with a kind smile – Just give me a second.

He turned the instrument off and put it back in the bag and started searching for something else inside it. Finally, he took out a small bottle from it and handled it to Hades, who received it with a frown.

– Don’t tell me that it is what I think it is…

You leaned to your husband, trying to observe the bottle, then turned to the other god.

– What is this?

Asclepius had a curious expression that deepened his resemblance with Apollo: the grin of someone who had the undivided attention of powerful beings.

– Hades-sama may tell you this story later, when you have more disposition to listen to it – he replied – But to summarize, it is the medicine I created to cease a terrible plague that almost ended humanity in the past. I don’t want to brag about it, but its effectiveness was such that some men became immortal, and Hellheim lost potential inhabitants thanks to it.

Hades sighed by your side.

– Those were chaotic times, in fact, but I’m glad everything was solved – he gave the bottle to you.

You turned to the doctor.

– If this was the effect on human beings, how am I going to react to this medicine now that I’m already becoming a goddess?

– It will diminish the discomfort caused by the metamorphosis – he explained – And it will do this without interfering in the process, like other substances would do, which would be too risky. You see, you’re not really sick, y/n-san. You’re just changing. Then, I recommend you to take it only when you feel you’re not going to stand the symptoms for any longer. Small doses are enough to help you.

Asclepius’ last words sounded as comforting the ones of an adult who was trying to console his child about growing up. You didn’t find it offensive, though: being someone who was used to observe how the living beings’ bodies work, maybe it was exactly the way he thought of the situation; you were leaving the childish state of being a mortal and was now entering the adulthood of existence by becoming a divine being. Of course, the process would be scary and even painful at some point, but it was also a wonderful experience.

Suddenly, you remembered something you’ve been wanting to ask to the gods you were more familiar with, but haven’t had the opportunity.

– Ah, about this, there’s something I’d like to know, Asclepius-sama – you observed the bottle in your hands – Is it possible to tell what type of goddess I’m going to be?

He thought of the question for a while.

– According to what Zeus-sama told me, you’re on the growing spectrum. I don’t know how much he told you about this, but your side on the spectrum of transformations usually determines what types of power you might hold. Gods with the same process as you use to have familiarity with wildlife, the cycles of nature and rebirth. Demeter and Chloris, though they were divine since the start, are this type of goddesses. It’s too soon to tell if your powers are going to be similar to theirs, but they will work under the same principles.

You pondered for a moment, then turned to your husband.

– It makes sense when we remember our dreams about the ruins, Hades.

– Indeed – he agreed – A living human visiting the world of the dead really seemed to be a sign back then. Now we need to observe the development of your powers to reach a better understanding of it.

Asclepius, who was hearing the conversation in silence, stood up put his bag back around his shoulder and grabbed his cane.

– Hades-sama, y/n-san, my sincere wish is to see you reach the referred understanding. It will be a great achievement for yourselves and for the world of the gods – he bowed his head – Now, if you excuse me, other matters demand my attention.

Hades stood up right after him.

– Will you stay in Valhalla, then?

– Yes. Usually, I would visit Valhalla every six months to check on the girls’ health, but personal problems prevented me from coming in the last semester – the doctor explained; and, turning to you, – This is why you’re only seeing me for the first time now, y/n-san. Finally, try to take as much rest as possible. This is as important as the medicine I gave you.

You gave him a cordial smile.

– I will do this, Asclepius-sama. Thank you for everything.

The god bowed for the second time.

– It’s good to hear that. And, if you need me, I will be in the chambers besides Hermes’.

– Thank you for answering our call, Asclepius – Hades replied – I will accompany you to the door.

The two men left and your husband closed the door behind him. You observed the small bottle in your hands for a while before putting it upon the night stand at the left side of the bed and letting your head fall on the pillows.

***

Hades came back to your chambers after a few minutes, stating that he was going to take a bath himself.

– Are you going to be alright while I’m there? – he asked while caressing your hair.

– I am – you smiled, still lying your head on the pillow – If things get complicated, I’ll be following Asclepius-sama’s instructions.

– Good – he bent down to kiss the top of your head – I’ll be right back.

You never had a clear memory of what happened after he left you, but you were inclined to think you just stood in bed, in the dark, your consciousness slipping out as you listened to the murmur of the shower somewhere near you. You were tired and weak due to the transformation, but you were in peace: you had a medicine to lean on, the man you loved was close and your family was out there having fun.

Everything is in its right place.

It was impossible to measure how long you stood in that quiet, peaceful state, somewhere between asleep and awake, but it changed when your body began to feel cold; this cold appeared first in your feet and spread to your legs, then to the rest of your limbs as you pulled the sheets more and more against yourself, but your efforts to keep the warmth were useless, for the cold didn’t come from the outside, and soon you were taken over by successive shivers. You tried to move to your side, but felt your body heavy, as if your blood pressure got suddenly low again; this time, your head started spinning. You knew your situation were getting more serious, and couldn’t help feeling anxious.

You tried to move back to your previous position, to reach for the medicine on the night stand, but your attempt failed: your body barely obeyed you. Now you were really scared, and before you did anything to avoid it, you were already breathless and crying.

What’s going on? What’s happening to me? Am I going to...

A yellowish light appeared on the wall above your head, illuminating the headboard and the painting over it (you opted to keep the art with the fawn and the nymphs). With one last effort, you moved the sheets away and saw the bathroom’s door opened: Hades’ silhouette was stepping out of it, wrapped in a robe. You couldn’t keep looking, because the headache increased, forcing you to close your eyes.

Apparently, your bad state was evident from far, because soon he rushed to your side.

– What is it, y/n? What’s happening?

You tried to sit on the bed, but your body didn’t obey you. You only managed to change your position with his help.

– I don’t know... – you whispered, covering your forehead with your hand – My head hurts… And I couldn’t even reach for the medicine…

Making you look up to him, he moved your hand away and put his palm over your forehead, then on each side of your neck.

– You got a fever – was his worried answer – And a bad one.

Your heart jumped at those words.

– It explains this cold I’m feeling… It’s so scary… – you sighed and passed your arms around yourself as another shiver spread through your body; you raised your eyes to him, raising a trembling hand to hold the sleeve of his robe – Can you stay with me?

Hades stared at you for a moment, a glimmer of compassion in his eyes. Maybe he was thinking the same as you: that was going to be the first time you were sharing a bed; of course, none of you expected this moment to be like this, but it was there before you, and both of you sensed the importance of it.

Your husband sat by your side and wiped your tears, involving you in his arms and kissing your forehead.

– Of course I can, little one – he then grabbed the medicine and opened the bottle, holding it close to your lips – Take it.

You accepted the remedy and, after a small dose, he put it back on its previous place, then turned around the bed and took off his robe; he left the piece on the back of a chair beside the bed and finally took the place by your side.

– Come here – he passed his arms around your body and placed you between them, your head leaning on his chest, your legs folded between his.

You moaned when a new, stronger shiver spread all over your body.

– I’m so scared...

You felt the warmth of his hand massaging your back and curled yourself more on his lap.

– I know – he whispered – But I’m here with you – and, kissing your hair, – And if things get tough, we have a doctor nearby, okay?

– Okay – your voice faded as you replied; and, with an attempt to laugh, – You know… I’ve been wondering how our first night together would be like… And, among all the possibilities, I’ve never considered something like this… I’m so sorry for ruining it...

– What are you apologizing for, little one? – you felt his fingers fondling your hair – You’re turning into a goddess. The most beautiful one. There’s nothing to be sorry about.

– But I wanted to give you… to give us better moments… It’s our honeymoon, after all…

He strengthened his grip around you and kissed you again.

– Each moment, and each night we will spend together will be better than the other. This is just the first one. You don’t have t lose your head over it.

You spent a moment in silence, gathering strength to reply.

– I see…

In fact, you were anxious about that night for weeks, so when it finally came, it was only natural that you felt frustrated, even disappointed with yourself, to see things happening in an uncomfortable, unplanned way. But another thing you weren’t expecting was to find relief while speaking about your feelings and then being understood by your husband: perhaps you’ve been putting so much expectation in your own part in this that you forgot you weren’t going to take care of it by yourself; yet counting on each other was a golden rule of relationships, even more in romantic ones.

I still have too much to learn.

Fortunately for you, you had a reasonable partner, one who have learned the art of patience for centuries and who would teach you in this sense for the next ages. Ages… when you remembered that this was going to be your lifespan, your heart ached, and more shivers hit your body, but guiding your thoughts away from it would calm them down, and with effort you trained yourself in this sense.

That night was long. You spent all of it in the arms of the King of the Underworld, alternating between moments of dreamless sleep and tired consciousness; this extended as the transformation went on, and the fever diminished as the hours passed. During those painful hours, Hades was always there with you, whether talking or just caressing you; as you got used to his warmth, you noticed the cold ceasing, and as the metamorphosis became more tolerable, your body relaxed more and more in his embrace. Slowly, as the new day approached, you were recovering the sense of control over yourself, and the fear of the future diminished, until it completely disappeared.

***

The first hours of the next day were something between dream and reality, for you witnessed – well, you listened to – curious things, but had no ways to decide if they indeed happened or if they were just your imagination.

At some point, you woke up, but didn’t open your eyes. You sensed you were alone in the bed, but it was still warm, and you supposed that Hades might have left moments ago. Though the room was quiet, you had the impression that your husband was in the living room with a visitor – paying close attention, you recognized Poseidon’s composed tone. They had a brief talk when most of what was said was in a foreign, ancient language that, thanks to the lessons given by your husband, you identified as Greek.

Apparently, Poseidon was going to leave Valhalla that day and came to see his brother before the travel. Besides the rapid, murmuring exchange of words in Greek, there was some chuckling, so you had no idea of what was being said (and you'd rather remain oblivious to it).

But then the conversation turned to a language you were able to fully understand.

– You don’t need to worry about that – Hades was saying – She wasn’t in conditions anyway. The changing is being successful, but it has been taking too much from her mortal body. She had a bad fever during night, but it was gone last time I checked.

– Did you call Asclepius to see her? – Poseidon inquired.

– Yes. He gave her a potion for her discomfort, but she wasn’t really medicated – your husband replied – The process of having your biology rewritten, according to him, can take longer or shorter depending on your body’s conditions, and cannot be interrupted or altered by the ingestion of medicine. Besides, as the altered cells become the majority in one’s body, the process becomes easier, and their immune system no longer recognizes the mutation as a problem. I talked to him moments ago to keep him in touch with the situation. He believes that she will be one of us by the end of this day.

– I see – his brother said – If this is the case, then she has suffered less than Heracles, who almost had his body swallowed by fire.

Hades laughed at this.

– Yes, but, please, don’t say this in front of her next time you see us.

– Alright – Poseidon’s voice softened – Send my regards to her when she wakes up.

They exchanged a few words in Greek, then said their farewell in the common language.

– I must go, now. Goodbye, brother.

– Goodbye. Be well.

A door was opened at the distance, a few steps were heard beyond it, then the door was closed, followed by utter silence.

***

Extra content

This is part of what was said between the brothers in ancient Greek, alternated with laughter and inner jokes that are impossible to translate:

– Good morning, elder brother. I came to say farewell. Some things demand my immediate attention in the Seas.

– I see. Truth is that I was expecting to have your company during our breakfast, but I knew that it wouldn’t be possible.

– You and your not-so-subtle way to call me antisocial. Anyways, I would have communicated my intentions sooner, but we haven’t the chance to speak yesterday and I didn’t want to interrupt your moments together. So... I am not interrupting anything now, I hope.

– Absolutely not. But if you’ve showed up earlier, you would’ve found the doors locked.

– I wouldn’t judge you. Not after what we saw at the party. You would be a fool if you didn’t take measures to keep your runaway bride safe.

– Please, don’t say these things about her. With that gaze of yours upon me, I would’ve run if I was a human girl too!

– Watch your mouth, old man! She only ran after she saw you. She was perfectly fine with us.

– Hey!

– Speaking of this, how is she doing?

– A bit tired, but well. Sleeping like a little lamb.

– Hm... You already reached the phase of the ridiculous nicknames, brother?

– Everyone reaches that phase, sooner or later. Just wait.

– Hmpf. I won’t have you cursing my fate, old man.

– It’s not a curse. You’ll thank me later.

Part XXII

[purplephantomwolf]

Love in Motion

Chapter One

Synopsis: Lydia gets a wrong number text from Lando Norris.

Note: This is not an accurate portrayal of how the real people in this act. I do not know them personally, so I will not be portraying them accurately.

Warnings for this chapter: None

Next chapter: Chapter Two

Masterlist

April 4, 2022

12:30pm

     I sigh, turning my attention away from my organic chemistry professor to my laptop screen. I watch as the 20 best drivers in the world complete the last lap of the first race of the 2021 Formula 1 season. I just recently got into Formula 1, so I’m watching the 2021 season to get a feel for the sport. One of my best friends says the 2021 season is a great season to watch because of the fights between Max Verstappen and Lewis Hamilton. I silently cheer as my favourite driver, Lando Norris, finishes P4. I look up at the clock and see that it’s only 12:30. Still 35 minutes left of class, I think. I let out a little audible sigh, turning back to my laptop. I move on to watching qualifying for the first Italy grand prix of the 2021 season. I have just clicked play when I feel my phone vibrate in my pocket. I grab it and see a text message from an unknown number. 

Unknown number: Did you make it home from the club okay?

Me: *One image attached* Considering I’m currently in a chemistry lecture, I think you may have been given the wrong number. I’m sorry.

     I send a picture of my view of my professor, laptop, and notes to the unknown number. 

Unknown number: Oh, thank you! I’m sorry for bothering you!

Unknown number: Hang on, are you watching Formula 1 while in lecture?

Me: It’s okay! Also, yes I am watching Formula 1 while in lecture. I’d rather be learning about Formula 1 than boring organic chemistry. Also, why are you texting someone about getting home from the club okay? It’s 12:30 pm?

Unknown number: It’s currently 2:30 am for me. I was attempting to text a girl I was talking to at the club, but it looks like she gave me the wrong number. 

Me: Oh, that makes sense. Wait, where are you that’s 14 hours ahead of me? Also, I’m sorry about the whole wrong number thing. That really sucks. Unless she gave you the wrong number cause you’re a creep. Then you deserve it. 

Unknown number: I’m currently in Melbourne, Australia. And I wasn’t being a creep! At least, I don’t think so. I hope not at least. I try my best to not be a creep. 

Me: Alright, that’s good. I doubt you were being a creep. And Australia? Jeez, that’s so far from me. I’m in Minnesota, United States.

Unknown number: That's only a little far from Australia. 

Me: Yeah, it’s going to be not fun to watch the F1 race this weekend, but staying up is so worth it to see the race live.

Unknown number: Big fan of the sport? 

Me: Yeah, I am. I just recently got into it, so I’m watching the 2021 season to learn everything I can. I’m also attempting to watch all the qualifying and races live.

Unknown number: Oh cool. That’s got to be tiring Considering most of the races are in Europe. Waking up early every day of the weekend must suck. 

Me: I mean, yeah. It kinda sucks, but it’s not too bad. I’m not waking up super early unless it’s races in places like Japan and Australia. The earliest I have to wake up is like 6 for other races. That’s not too bad though. 

Unknown number: Oh, that’s not too bad then! Which team do you support?

Me: Well, there’s not a specific team I really support. If I have to choose one, it would be Ferrari, probably followed by Red Bull. I support drivers more than I support teams really. 

Unknown number: Okay, then who are your top three drivers?

Me: That is a hard decision to make for 2 and 3. Lando Norris is for sure my number one driver, but I have like 5 drivers tied for second and then 5 tied for third. I made a tier list one time lol

Unknown number: Okay, so what’s the tier list then? I’m curious

Me: The people within each tier are in no particular order. So it goes 1. Norris 2. Verstappen, Leclerc, Gasly, Ricciardo, Sainz 3. Schumacher, Albon, Stroll, Vettel, Tsunoda 4. Bottas, Guanyu, Ocon, Russell, Hamilton 5. Latifi, Magnussen, Perez, Alonso

Unknown number: Hmm, interesting. So do you dislike tier 5 then?

Me: No, I don’t dislike any drivers. Unless you count past drivers *cough* Mazespin *cough* Tier 1 is my all time favourite. Tier 2 are ones I also support a bunch, but are not my all time favourite. Tier 3 are ones I support, but not much as tier 2. Tier 4 are ones I support some. Tier 5 are ones I don’t support at all. 

Unknown number: That’s a funny nickname for Mazepin. But why don’t you like him?

Me: I’m not sure. I just get a weird vibe from him. 

Unknown number: Interesting. But I get what you’re saying. Can I ask why Lando is your favourite? My favourite is Carlos. 

Me: Sure! Lando is my favourite because of his personality, humor, and how he speaks out about mental health. I really struggle with depression and anxiety, so having such a public figure speak out about it is amazing. Also helps that he’s got the boy next door charm. That’s definitely my type lol.

Unknown number: Ahh, okay! Those are good reasons to like him! Now, I feel weird talking to a nameless person. Can I ask you what your name is?

Me: My name is Lydia. Can I ask what your name is?

Unknown number: Lydia, that’s a pretty name. My name is Luke. 

Me: Nice to meet you, Luke. 

     I look up when I hear a commotion around me. I see that my classmates are packing their things and leaving. Wow, time really flew by talking to this stranger. I put my phone down and quickly pack my things. I sling my backpack over my shoulder and head out. I feel my phone vibrate with a text again. I see that it’s Luke again. 

Luke: Nice to meet you too, Lydia. 

[vioartemis]

Not friends

(Ava Silva x fem! reader)

Summary: Ava can taste freedom for the first time in years, but it's not the same without you... Warnings: none a/n: yes, another Ava fic :) every one of them will have at least a part 2 btw :)) (English isn't my first language, I'm sorry if there are mistakes or if something doesn't make sense TvT)

A dream. It had to be a dream. Or maybe it was heaven? Whatever it was, Ava accepted it. She could walk here, she finally had a chance to live her life after 12 years stuck in a bed.

Her newfound freedom got her all excited, but something was missing. You were missing.

There hadn't been a day in 12 years were you wouldn't see each other. You would always talk about what you'd do if you could flee the orphanage, where you'd go, what you'd like to see.

And now she could do that. She could do everything you spent years talking about. But she just couldn't leave you alone there.

So there she was again, in the hallways she only ever saw from her wheelchair, trying to stay out of view from the staff while going to your room. As she put her hand on the door handle, she froze.

What if you weren't there? What if -for some reason- you weren't in your room? What would she do without you?

She stayed like that for a moment before shaking her head in hope to brush these thoughts away. When she opened the door, you were laying on your bed, facing the wall, hidden under your blanket.

"Y/n?"

You didn't move, not sure her voice wasn't an hallucination. Ava got closer to you and put her hand on your shoulder.

You turned around at the contact, pissed off at the person who dared disturb you while you were mourning, but as soon as you saw her all trace of annoyance disappeared from your face.

You sat up quickly, ont believing your eyes.

"Ava...?"

"Hi" she smiled

It took you a second to process the information. You hugged her tightly, burying your face against her neck as tears rolled down your cheeks.

"I thought you were dead..." you whispered, not moving from the hug "What happened?"

"I don't really understand yet, but I'm here! And I can walk!"

Even if you couldn't see her face, you knew she had a big smile. She didn't try to break the hug, enjoying every second of it.

You pulled away after a few minutes, wiping your tears away with a little smile. Then you hit her arm playfully.

"You scared me! Don't do that again"

Your comment made her laugh.

"I won't, I promise"

She looked at your face and smiled to herself. You'd been apart one day, and she already missed you like it'd been months.

“What do you think about running away with me?” she asked you, eyes filled with hope “Now we can travel everywhere! We can go to France, or Germany, or wherever you want!”

Her eyes were pleading you to say yes. Your heart was telling you to say yes.

“Of course!” you replied while giving her hand a little squeeze

Your answer brought a bright smile to her face. She hugged you again, relieved and so happy you said yes.

“We should probably go before anyone sees us” you said, getting out of your bed

“Wait! You can’t go out dressed like that”

Ava put a black bag on your bed, in which she had put clothes from the store she phased in a few hours ago.

“You knew I would say yes” you smiled, looking at the clothes “I really hope this team doesn’t suck”

Ava smiled at your comment as she made the same one when she was in the shop.

A blush quickly replaced her smile when you started undressing. She knew she should turn away, but she couldn't take her eyes away from you. You looked ethereal. She was completely mesmerized

"Like what you see? you asked with a little smirk

It made her blush even more and finally look away, causing her to miss the blush that spread across your own cheeks.

"Sorry..."

You smiled at her embarrassed expression, finding her really cute. You finished to put on the sweater she gave you earlier before grabbing her hand and pulling her towards the exit.

"I'm just teasing! C'mon, let's go before anyone sees us"

Your smile was bright and it was clear you were happy to leave this atrocious place. And so was Ava.

Once you were out in the streets she took the lead and guided you to the beach. You both took off your shoes, letting the calm waves hit your feet. You closed your eyes, enjoying the moment, how the wind blew your hair away from your face, how the sound of the sea relaxed you...

Suddenly, you felt water splash on your face. You gasped dramatically, opening your eyes to see Ava laughing with her hands in front of her face.

"Oh, you-"

You bent down to splash water on her as well, but she was already running away. You ran after her as fast as you could, determined to catch up to her. You managed to grab her hand after a few meters, but you kept running together until Ava tripped and pulled you down with her when she fell.

You were both lying in the sand, laughing, still holding hands.

Once you caught your breath, your turned your head to the side to look at her. She was so pretty.... Her smile was genuine, her eyes were shinning...

"Thank you for coming back for me" you whispered with a grateful smile

"You really thought I would leave you there?"

"I thought you were dead"

She turned to face you too.

"I'm not dead. Well, maybe I was for a short period of time-" she stopped, seeing your concerned expression "... but I don't know, I'm still not sure of what happened!"

You gave her a worried look for a few more seconds, before sighing.

"Whatever it was, I hope it's not going to bring us any problems"

Clearly you didn't need any external help to have problems. Ava Almost drowning in someone's pool was enough. She was okay, thank god, but the noises you made caught the attention of the little group that "lived" here.

You didn't know if staying with them was a good idea. But maybe it was just because you were pretty sure JC was attracted to Ava -even if he met her like 2 hours ago. The only one you were willing to trust was Chanel. She was really nice from the start and you found it pleasant to talk with her.

She was currently helping you chose what to wear to a party they convinced Ava and you to go to.

"How do I know what goes with what?" you asked, perplexed

"It will come eventually. Here, take that"

She handed you some clothes, waiting for you to try them on. You look at what she gave you before looking up. Outside, in the garden, JC and Ava were talking.

"Do you think he likes her?"

Chanel looked in their direction as well.

"Maybe. She's pretty and nice, I wouldn't blame him if he did"

You nodded slightly, not so happy with her answer. What if she liked him too? You went to the bathroom to change, hoping it would help you think about something else.

"You should confess" Chanel's voice broke your thought bubble

"What?"

"You should tell her you like her"

You took a break in your change of clothes and poked your head through the door to look at her. It was clear what she was talking about. You could see it in her eyes. She knew you had feelings for Ava.

"... we're friends, I don't want to ruin it" you mumbled while going back to the bathroom

She didn't respond right away, maybe taking some time to choose her words.

"You're already not friends, Y/n. You're just pretending your feelings don't exist"

"No, I'm her friend. Have always been"

"You're not friends if you want to kiss her, if you want more, if you're lying to her. You're not friends if you want not to be"

Her words sank to your core. She was right. But the idea of maybe losing Ava was unbearable.

You finished putting on the new clothes and went back to the room, tears in your eyes.

"I'm just so scared to lose her..."

"Why would you lose her?" she asked in a comforting tone

"I don't know how she would react to the news"

"Does she know you like girls?"

"I don't like girls. I like her"

Chanel gave you a little smile.

"So what? You're going to keep quiet and let her fall in love with someone else?"

"I really just want her to be happy" you said quietly "As long as I can see her smile..."

"What's so special about her smile?"

"It's just... so pretty... I always tried to make her smile as much as I could, bring her a bit of happiness" you marked a little pause "I think I've been in love with her from the start. But every time she smiles... I fall for her a little more"

If she ever doubted you really loved Ava, now she was certain you did. She could see it in your eyes. Just like she saw the way you looked at Ava, like she was the most beautiful thing on earth.

She also saw how Ava was looking at you, which you seemed to have missed if you thought she didn't like you. But honestly she wasn't sure Ava herself was aware of her feelings for you.

"It's going to be okay"

She hugged you as she said that, trying to comfort you anyways.

In the living room, sitting on the couch, Ava could see the two of you hugging. She could see Chanel's hands on your back, rubbing up and down -sometimes a bit too low to her taste.

She had no reason to feel that way, but she couldn't help it. She wanted to be the one to hug you. Why would you hug someone you knew for 2 hours?

You pulled away from the hug and gave the girl a smile.

A smile you usually gave Ava. She could also see your eyes were red, which meant you cried. Why on earth would you go to Chanel if you needed reassurance? Her brows were furrowed in confusion.

However, her expression softened when she saw what you were wearing. The clothes suit you very well. You looked good -even better than you usually did.

She looked you up and down, until Chanel made you spin around. It made it look like you were dancing together while in reality she was just checking your outfit.

But again, it made Ava's stomach drop.

The party didn't go as planned. You knew it was a bad idea to try to sneak in that stupid party. At first it was fun, dancing with Ava, eating some food you never saw in your life, exploring the labs and trying the machines.

But it was two days ago and you still had no idea where Ava was. She disappeared after the security started to look for intruders. You hoped nothing bad happened to her.

You were worried. Pacing back and forth in the room they gave Ava and you, not knowing what to do or where to look for her. You had already walked across the whole town to try to find her, ask people if they saw her... but it was like she simply disappeared.

You tried to go in town again, but JC and Chanel -the only ones who seemed to care- convinced you to stay inside 'for your own good'. They told you she couldn't have gone far and would come back soon.

You really wanted to believe them, but it was hard not to imagine the worst.

You ended up laying in bed, curled up in a ball, biting your nails in an attempt to calm you down -which did not work at all. You had also put on Ava's sweater, so when you closed your eyes it was like she was here.

You had no idea how much time had passed when Chanel came to see you.

"Y/n, she's back"

You didn't need her to tell you twice. You got up so quickly it made your head spin, but you really didn't care. You ran to the living room, where you assumed everyone was.

She was here. You didn't let her the time to fully register your presence and hugged her tighter than you ever had. She let out a little 'oof' when your bodies collided.

"Where have you been?" you asked in a quiet voice, not breaking the hug

"It's a long story"

"I have time"

You pulled away slightly, enough to be able to look at her. She could see concern in your eyes and fresh tears on your cheeks.

Ava placed her hands on your cheeks to wipe your tears away.

"I'm sorry I made you cry again... I didn't mean to"

"Don't ever disappear again without me" you mumbled, sniffling

"Okay, I promise" she chuckled

She leaned her forehead against yours, whispering more "I'm sorrys". You closed your eyes, inhaling deeply as her perfume invaded your nostrils. She always had a way of calming you down.

That's why you needed to be honest with her.

"Can we... talk? I... need to tell you something"

"Of course"

With that, she gave the others a smile before grabbing your hand and walking to your room with you. You both sat on the bed, still holding hands.

"So, what did you want to talk about?"

"Yeah um..."

You took a deep breath in an attempt to calm yourself down and gather a bit of courage.

"I um..." you made the mistake to look into her beautiful brown eyes, which brought up the thought that she might never look at you like that after you tell her

She didn't say a word, letting you time to find your words, which was really difficult. You were stuttering and getting annoyed by your own inability to express yourself.

"What the fuck is wrong with me...?" you sighed after a moment

"Hey... nothing's wrong with you, don't say that"

"No, something's definitely wrong with me... It's not that hard, yet I can't bring myself to say it" you shake your head, sighing again "Three words, three fucking words..."

"Just... just go ahead, you know I won't judge you" she tried to reassure you

You took another deep breath and looked at the ceiling.

"... I love you" it felt weird to say it out loud

"You love me? As in we're best friends?"

"No I... I love you as in I'm in love with you..."

[pencil-peach]

GWitch Onscreen Text: Episode 17 PART 1: PRE-DUEL

It is time. This is part 18 of my series where I attempt to transcribe and discuss all the text that appears on text and screens in G Witch. We have reached The Big One. Episode 17: "Precious Things."

HOWEVER....

This episode will be handled slightly differently. There is a lot to say about it, and a majority of it does not actually have to do with text.

AND SO. For the sake of keeping things organized, this episode shall be SPLIT INTO PARTS.

This first part covers the PRE-DUEL, primarily going over the parallels and symbolism to scenes in Season 1.

The next part will cover much the same, but during the DUEL itself. It will most likely be much smaller, but it doesn't hurt to keep things separate.

With all that said, the conclusion draws near.

<;< If you aren't ready, you can click here to return to Episode 15. Or, if you'd like, the Masterpost's loving arms can be found here.

But if you are truly ready, then let us begin.

PREFACE

(That's right this shit is STRUCTURED.) Episode 17 is probably one of my favorite episodes of the show (even if it's difficult to sit through) because of how utterly dense it is with its parallels to Season 1. For Miorine, Suletta, and Guel, it feels like nearly every scene is stacked with comparisons to past events, to highlight where the characters are now versus where they were back then.

The bulk of the parallels are contained to events that occurred within the first 6 episodes, which makes sense, as those 6 episodes are when the characters were living their most "normal" school lives. So we'll go through the episode piece by piece and I'll highlight comparisons I've found and what they mean as we go along. I might miss some, or maybe I'm reading too deep for others, but if you're this far in, I'm going to assume you have at least a LITTLE faith in my judgment, even if it's not always super clean.

With all that said, let us begin.

PRE-DUEL

Episode 17 opens with Miorine confronting Prospera (Left). This parallels Episode 2, where Miorine confronts Delling (Right). In both cases, Miorine is confronting an adult regarding Suletta's fate. But unlike in Episode 2, where she's the one making a demand (to allow Suletta to duel for the right to be her fiancée), in Episode 17, a demand is being made of her. (To become President and take over Quiet Zero, and to facilitate a final duel for Suletta.)

Whereas Delling admonished Miorine for daring to speak without power, "I am vested with power. You have none." Prospera is demanding that Miorine accumulate power. "Make me a promise. That you'll become the next president."

The parallel of Miorine making a promise with Prospera in this Episode as opposed to the one she made with Suletta in Episode 3 is obvious, but did you notice that the hallway they're in (top left) is structured almost identically to the room Prospera was waiting in on Plant Quetta in Episode 11 (Bottom left), and where she convinces Suletta it's okay to take other's lives in Episode 12? (Top and Bottom Right)

In the next scene, after the opening, we see Miorine waking up in her room (Left). Season 1 also had a scene of Miorine waking up from sleep in Episode 4 (Right), but it's a lot different.

In Episode 4, Miorine is woken up by Suletta staying up late to study, and asks her why she's working so hard. When Suletta responds that she's doing it for the sake of the Mercurians, Miorine responds that that's "a drag," saying that she shouldn't have to carry that kind of burden and should only live for herself. Suletta responds that it's what she wants to do, and Miorine sardonically responds, "How noble of you," before silently heading back to sleep.

Compare that with this small, silent scene of Miorine slowly dragging herself out of bed, clutching her head because she clearly spent hours yesterday and long into the night trying to figure out how to free Suletta from her mothers clutches AND fulfill all of Prospera's demands. She's running herself ragged all for the sake of someone else, going against her philosophy in Episode 4.

There's also the fact that Suletta isn't with her in 17's scene. We see in Episode 4 that Miorine and Suletta are comfortable sleeping with each other, but she's chosen to sleep alone, with Suletta waiting patiently outside the door. (Oh, and also, did you notice that Miorine's room is clean?)

Following that is a scene where Miorine and Suletta discuss Miorine's Birthday, Suletta's wish list, and their marriage. This is reminiscent of a similar scene in Episode 3 where they discuss much the same thing. Both scenes open up the discussion with Suletta denying a proposition from Miorine:

In Episode 3, Miorine is telling Suletta that she must win the rematch against Guel, to which she shyly mutters that she doesn't want to (Top Right) causing Miorine to react in shock. In Episode 17, Miorine asks Suletta what she would do if she asked her to get rid of Aerial, to which Suletta confidently responds that she wouldn't do it, (Top Left) to this, Miorine silently continues walking up the stairs.

The major difference is that in Episode 3, Miorine continues trying to convince Suletta to agree to the duel, explaining to her why it will be fine, but in Episode 17, she is silent. She doesn't explain or discuss anything. She just moves ahead.

When discussing their marriage, the roles have shifted. In Episode 3, (Bottom Right) Miorine is explaining that they won't actually be married until her birthday comes, in order to calm Suletta's fears about them being actually married.

In Episode 17, (Bottom Left) Suletta brings up Miorine's birthday, specifically because she's decided that she actually wants to marry her. It's now Miorine who is reluctant, due to the burdens she's carrying.

Next is a scene with Shaddiq attempting to enlist the Peil Witches into his bid for President. It's similar to Episode 7's opening scene, where Sarius is enlisting the Peil Witches for his plan to expose Aerial as a Gundam. The Parallel comes from the contrasting intentions of each Zenelli.

Sarius is enlisting the Witches in order to expose Aerial as a Gundam and get it scrapped, re-burying Gundams forever. He is staunchly against the existence of Gundams, and this will never change. Whereas Shaddiq is enlisting the witches with the explicit promise of making Gundams core to the Group's business. They are at opposite ends of the political spectrum in this regard.

But in both cases, Peil agrees, making use of the plan for their own ends. Also, in Shaddiq's meeting, a Jeturk is not present.

Okay time for the first Biggun. This scene starts off with parallels to episode 5, in that Suletta is upset by Elan in both scenes. In 17 (Left), she's accosted by 5lan, demanding that she give him Aerial. In 3 (Right), she's upset by El4n when he calls her annoying.

Unlike in Episode 3 though, where Suletta cries in response to El4n's harsh words, she responds to 5lan by shoving him away, showing how she's grown more confident in herself and her faithfulness to Miorine.

Following this, Guel Jeturk shows up and asks Elan what he's doing to her. In Episode 3 (Right) he showed up mostly for his own pride, but switched to a more protective tone when he saw that El4n had made Suletta cry. But in this scene, (Left) he showed up because he saw she was in trouble.

Guel and Elan's roles are completely reversed here. Whereas before (Right), Guel was flippant and emotional in response to El4n's calm demeanor, the opposite is true for Guel with 5lan. Guel (Left) maintains his composure, and 5lan loses his cool when Guel asks him what he's so afraid of.

It might seem like the Episode 5 parallels end here, but did you notice what kind of weapon 5lan is using in this scene? It's a taser.

An electrical weapon that causes paralysis.

Unlike before, Guel keeps a steady head, and he wins this duel against 5lan, pinning him to the ground. At the end of the battle, Elan isn't holding his hand up in victory (Right) but in defeat (Left).

Guel also says, "Cut it out. If you ruin this place, no apology will get you off the hook." Paralleling his behavior in Episode 1. Instead of being the one destroying the greenhouse, he's the one protecting it this time.

Following this, Suletta and Guel have a 1 on 1 conversation. This is the 3rd time they have one in the series. They have one in Episode 3, (Left) when Suletta tells him her mother's motto. They have a second one in Episode 9 (Middle) where they talk about how Guel's father has forbidden him to duel, and finally they have this one in Episode 17 (Right) where Guel discusses his desire to rebuild the Jeturk company, and protect the things precious to him.

The parallel is obvious in the sense that in both prior discussions, Guel is learning something from Suletta, and now he's finally putting those lessons to use, but did you notice that all 3 conversations have a shot of Guel's hand?

In Episode 3, when Suletta is talking about her mother, Guel holds his hand up to his cheek before closing it into a fist. In Episode 9, he brings his hand from his pocket, but doesn't close it. He holds it out limply. And in Episode 17, he once again brings his hand up and closes it. Each scene is representative of his current conviction.

Episode 3 is titled "Guel's Pride." He brings his hand up to the cheek his father slaps him across before closing it. It represents his current conviction: His pride. Proving himself as worthy in the eyes of his father. Episode 9 is titled "If I Could Take One More Step Towards You." The obvious allusion is to Miorine and Shaddiq's relationship, but it's also about Guel's relationship to Suletta. Their conversation ends with Suletta running down a lighted path, with Guel watching her go. He brings his hand out to his side, but DOESN'T close it, because he no longer has a sense of purpose: He's lost his conviction. He's scared of facing his father, and thus can't follow Suletta. Episode 17 is titled "Precious Things." After everything that's happened, Guel has returned to Asticassia with a new conviction: To protect the things precious to him. After losing his way, he's found the path forward, and once again closes his fist, confident in himself and his sense of purpose.

There's also the parallels between both confessions scenes. When Guel confesses and is rejected the first time (Left), he becomes spiteful and mean, but now (Right), he's understanding, and even happy for her love with Miorine. He's truly changed.

Miorine then comes out from behind the greenhouse, and demands a duel between Suletta and Guel. (Left) This is an obvious inversion of the scene from Episode 1 (Right). Where she demands Suletta NOT duel Guel.

The following scene, where Miorine requests Guel's help (Left) is also an inversion of the scene from Episode 4 (Right) where she offers to help Suletta with the Threat Detection Makeup exam.

Both scenes take place in her room, and both scenes see her kneeling over her plants, gently pushing upon the leaves as she speaks. The fact that she's talking to Guel and Suletta respectively is an obvious inversion, but in Episode 4, she's telling Suletta that she can take care of both the Mechanic and Spotter positions herself, saying she doesn't need help, but in 17's scene, she's specifically ASKING Guel for his help, because this is something she can't do on her own.

The next scene in the Dueling Comittee Lounge (Left) is, obviously, paralleling the similar scene in Episode 3 (Right). Down to this shot of Secelia seemingly being reused from that episode. In both scenes, Secelia taunts Guel, but as opposed to Episode 3, where he becomes enraged and fickle, in Episode 17 he confidently disregards her, saying, "The Jeturk emblem is the lion. So call me a lion, not a dog," much to her surprise.

But there's actually some more interesting parallels here.

Firstly, Episode 3's Oath is officiated by El4n (Top Right), whereas Episode 17's Oath is officiated by Rouji's HARO (Top Left), two characters that are considered to be robotic and emotionless.

In both duels, Suletta requests something of Guel for the sake of others. In Episode 3, she asks him to apologize to Miorine (Bottom Right), and in Episode 17, she asks him to help stop the harassment of Earth House (Bottom Left).

Ah, and did you notice? Episode 3's duel takes place in the 7th tactical testing sector, a lucky number. Episode 17's duel takes place in the 13th tactical testing sector. It looks like Suletta's luck has run out.

In both episodes, there's a scene following the oath with Guel speaking to Miorine and Suletta respectively. Both scenes even share multiple shots. Both scenes are also conversations involving, to some extent, Prospera. And both scenes, interestingly enough, has Guel end the conversation with a statement that calls into question the respective girl's belief (intentionally or otherwise).

In Episode 3 (Right) Suletta says, "My mother is always strong and kind," to which Guel asks, "A good parent, huh?" In Episode 17 (Left) Miorine says, "I want that girl to be happy. She needs a world where she can be free from Gundams or anything else," to which Guel mutters, "There are no worlds like that."

In both cases, he doesn't elaborate on what he means, but in both cases, his intuition is right.

Perhaps some of this is a pushing it, but prior to the duel, both Episode 3 and 17 share two similar scenes. Both episodes have a scene in which Miorine has installed something on Suletta's phone in reference to the duel, and both scenes also have a scene where two characters discuss their intent to interfere with the upcoming duel.

In Episode 3 (Right) This entails Miorine installing her contact info onto Suletta's phone without her permission, and Vim and Lauda discussing the arrangement of the sprinklers to go off.

In Episode 17 (Left) This entails Miorine installing the "Victory Charm" on Suletta's phone, and Miorine and Prospera discussing when to deactivate Aerial during the duel. It's yet another inversion in that now, it's Jeturk house who's playing fairly, and it's Miorine who's working to ensure Suletta will lose.

When Guel is asked by Kamil about the decision making AI, in Episode 17 (Left) he says he doesn't care about it, and to leave it in. Stating that "Pride alone won't defeat Suletta Mercury." This parallels the scene from Episode 3 (Right), where he gets incredibly mad about it, yelling, "Am I not skilled enough to win?!" Only to be slapped by Vim once more, telling him that "There's no room here for childish pride."

Guel also cuts his hair. The Jeturk family's hair are all based on lion manes, and Guel cutting his mane short is emblematic of discarding his prideful nature. It's also to show how he's brought himself closer to his father, who's hair was also cut short.

The following scene, where Guel apologizes to Lauda in front of the Darilbalde (Left), parallels the scene in Episode 4 where Lauda apologized to him under similar circumstances (Right).

In Episode 4, the Darilbalde was destroyed, emblematic of the strained relationship between the two, but now it has been repaired. Even still, will it be maintained?

As the MS suit containers roll into position, we get this shot of the Dueling Committee, both in Episode 17 (Right) and Episode 3 (Left) It's much emptier now, huh? GRAAAAAGH And that's all the parallels I can find for the Pre-Duel segment of the episode. Houuaauhhh there was a lot here and it was a lot of work, but it was also a lot of fun, and it really goes to show how tight this season's script is. Every scene feels intentional.

Anyhow, that's all for this part. Next time in part 2, we'll be discussing the Duel's parallels. If you've made it this far, thank you so very much, I truly appreciate it. I'll see you next time!

Click here to go to Part 2 >> Click here to go to the Masterpost.

[mutable-manifestation]

The Ghost King (of Miscommunication) Ch.16

Part 1-12, Part 13, Part 14, Part 15

Part 16!

***

Jason’s pops out of the portal and back into the sitting room of the castle.

He doesn’t wait for Wulf, flying out of the room and out of the castle and up - up high enough to see the snowy hills behind the ice-like tower.

He beelines for the snowy biome, relieved when white-layered black-and-purple-and lime green trees come into view as he nears the area.

He curls up at the base of a large, lavender fir, hidden away by its snow-laden branches and fluffy-looking needles.

He thinks of the snowball fight he’d had with Danny back in the Far Frozen. How just for a moment, everything had felt okay.

How he’d thought Danny was taking him back home, to Gotham.

How he’d been brought to another gilded cage instead.

(A place that felt more like home than Gotham had since Jason died.)

(At least until his return two hours ago.)

He’d felt betrayed, for a moment. Then he just felt like a fool; what was there to feel betrayed about? He shouldn’t have trusted a kidnapper in the first place.

(Danny felt like safety, despite the circumstances. And it had been so long since Jason had felt truly safe.)

The sudden absence of the Pit and the lack of weapons and the lack of anything familiar had all left him wrong-footed. He’d made too many assumptions with too little information. His hope and contentment - his newfound ability to even feel such things - had overridden his common sense.

The first sign of disobedience had had him brandishing needles for fuck’s sake.

(Every other medicine-related device he’d interacted with had made him feel better. Was the needle even punishment? Was it a genuinely intended offer? Would it have helped?)

(Did it matter when he’d been given two options and wanted neither but was still made to choose?)

-------------------

When Jason finally lifts his face from his knees he can just see Wulf’s fur peeking through the branches of his tree. He doesn’t know how long he’s been there - either of them, really.

He scoops a handful of snow off of the ground beside him and makes a snowball.

Maybe it’s the Stockholm Syndrome - knowing about it doesn’t really help stop it - but the snow is the one familiar, comforting thing about this strange possibly-a-fae-pocket-dimension.

He tucks it into a pouch on his utility belt and wiggles between the branches and out into the open.

He opens his mouth - to say what, he doesn’t know - but stops short.

Wulf stands in front of the tree, looking away from where Jason had been to face the castle.

50 feet away from the both of them, approaching at a steady walking pace through knee-high snow is a solid green, glowing (like everyone else in this possibly-a-fae-pocket-dimension) skeleton.

It’s wearing a suit.

It’s carrying a covered silver tray.

(In the back of his mind, a voice that sounds suspiciously like Dick whispers “Skalfred”)

Wulf remains relaxed and unconcerned, so Jason simply watches as it finally arrives (and oh, how Jason hates taking cues of any kind from the living embodiment of a collar around his throat) and brandishes the tray at him, uncovered to reveal a glowing green sticky note.

A sticky note.

His eyes flit between Wulf and the note and the skeleton before he - very hesitantly - picks it up.

‘Hi Jason!

The meeting is running a bit long, so I won’t be able to make lunch :( But! Spike and Jazz (my big sister) will be there. (And Wulf, obviously) I’ll see you at dinner! Have fun till then! :D

-Danny’

For a moment he wants to crumple up the note and skip the lunch altogether, but he doubts Wulf would allow it.

(Doesn’t want to risk it if he does and Danny decides to break out the needle again.)

He pockets the note and realizes he has no idea where “lunch” would be.

Skalfred remains standing in place.

“Uh,” Jason starts, “lead the way?”

Skalfred does.

-------------------

One thing Jason appreciates about the whole thing is that none of these people have lied to him so far - he’s been forced between a variety of rocks and hard places, and he’s made overly-hopeful assumptions on his own, but they’ve yet to outright lie.

Spike - the living shadow that made his new ‘room’ (read: cell) - is waiting outside of the door to what is, presumably, the dining area.

Jason clocked him as being around 6’ tall when they first met.

He is absolutely dwarfed by the woman standing next to him.

She - presumably Danny’s sister, ‘Jazz’ - stands at least 7’ tall.

Spike barely comes up to her shoulder.

He can see the family resemblance in the white of her hair and the familiar green eyes looking back at him.

She wears a formal black pantsuit with a button-up shirt layered underneath the color of the void beyond this island’s starry-sky bubble, cutting a stark contrast to Wulf’s casual hoodie/shorts combo, Danny’s hazmat suit, and Spike’s…he glances at the void-like being - tee-shirt. And some kind of baggy pants.

She almost wouldn’t look out of place in the streets of Gotham - hair could be dyed - if not for the glow.

And the fact that her skin tone is more blue than pink.

Skalfred stops and bows to them, then turns and bows to Jason and sinks through the floor.

“Hello, you must be Jason!” He floats a few feet into the air while she talks so he doesn’t have to crane his neck so much to look at her. Thankfully, no one comments. “I’m Jazz, Danny’s big sister. It’s nice to finally meet you.”

She holds out her hand with a warm smile.

Hesitantly, Jason shakes it.

“You too.”

***

INFO: I just realized some people might have wondered why Danny & the Yetis didn’t use ecto-dejecto right off the bat. The answer is that Dani and Danny both already had fully-formed cores, Dani’s was fully formed; it just wasn’t stable because it was starved/out of balance because the environment that she was created and then lived in had too little ectoplasm to do anything more than form her core (the Ambient stuff around the portals alone isn’t enough. If Vlad and Danny never visited the GZ they’d have issues too - or they can consume ectoplasm, but Danny didn’t figure that out until years later. Vlad never tried it so he didn’t know either. His clones had issues because he was doing the ghost-creation equivalent of baking at the wrong altitude). If she’d just gone in the GZ she’d have been fine after a bit, Ecto-Dejecto just gave an instant solution.

Jason doesn’t have a core. He is held together by, at best, an eighth of a core and an atrociously strong will to not-die (also spite).

They were worried about what kind of effect that much highly concentrated ectoplasm would have on a developing core (like feeding a newborn baby a liter of Pepsi. Or Vodka.) And by the time his core was developed what he was eating/drinking was enough to stabilize him.

[rathayibacter]

thinking a lot about how IMMORTALITY squeezes a ton of meaning out of being a game. like, theoretically, you could get all the same themes and significance from watching all the footage once or twice, in order, all the way through. after all, that's kinda how previous game by the studio Her Story was: there was a full picture, and it was waiting for you to put all the pieces together so you could see it.

but IMMORTALITY's a bit different. the thing that you perceive to be the big mystery actually isn't that hard to solve, and is really just a couple stops to check off along your much longer journey of understanding. and so much of that is thanks to the specific mechanic of how you uncover new clips. you click on something in the shot, and you're brought to another shot with the same object, or a shot related to that object, or a shot thematically linked to that object. you're navigating via the Kuleshov Effect, and that means you're constantly, inevitably creating meaning through how you interact with the game.

like, super minor, non-spoiler-y example: there's a set of scenes connected by a cat. you see a cat in one scene and click on it, and you're taken to the rehearsal of a scene that will have that cat, but they aren't using the animal actor yet cuz it's just rehearsal. you're brought to the moment that an actress is leaning down and petting where the cat will be, at some point, later. it's a cute little move by the game designers, cuz yeah, these scenes are connected by that cat you clicked on, but not literally, only in the final product.

but then i clicked on the space where the cat would be, and it took me to another scene, once again with the actual cat. and isn't that funny. isn't that interesting. of course it makes sense in hindsight, right? we're traveling via cinematic language, and in rehearsal there's no difference between a cat and an empty bit of floor where the script tells you a cat will be. you gotta treat that empty space like there's a cat there, or else the whole thing falls apart.

this isn't a significant moment in the game. none of the three clips involved really matter that much. but like, at the same time, by connecting these three pretty empty filler scenes in this way, by taking you from a cat to a not-cat to a cat, and telling you that they're all equivalent, the game is making a pretty strong thematic declaration, one that would be completely absent if you'd just watched these three clips separately, in the parts of the movie that they belong in.

not every player is gonna read that deeply into this moment, just as i havent read this deeply into most of the other connections ive made in my so-far 12 and a half hours with the game. some folks will read something completely different into it (there's a pretty fun discussion you could have about it happening in 2 Of Everything specifically, playing into the mistaken identities plot via Schrödinger's cat). some players won't even find that connection at all! there's enough redundancy in everything here that nobody needs to find every possible point of interaction to finish or understand the game. and all that's kinda the beauty of it, right? there's a million ways to examine this text, to work your way through the enormous tower of information you're presented with, and every single one of those paths is gonna create unique meaning. they've taken the process of interpreting art and made it a game mechanic, without hamstringing the actual act of interpretation in the process. the game says "hey, in order to see everything, you're gonna have to make connections," but never forces your hand in what those connections have to be. it's absolutely fascinating.

[dollarbin]

Shakey Sundays #20:

Time Fades Away, Part 1.

I'm seeing my famous brother on stage tonight in LA; you should come. He's been making killer music for a full 30 years but, because we live far apart, this will be just the fourth time I've seen him play a proper gig.

Let's see...

First there was the Don't Call Me Judas show I set up for him and his fellow high school VU nerd buddies at Pomona College around 95/96: their lead singer was mostly too terrified to perform so my brother and this sweet guy took over the vocals while handling all the stringed instruments. I invited the whole damn college but only about 8 students actually attended. I got embarrassingly drunk (a guy who insisted his name was Cruiser had shown me how to shotgun beers earlier that evening), and so I demanded that they perform their cover of Frank Black's Freedom Rock twice. I was so wasted that I thought my name was Chip...

Then I saw one of his many college bands, The Freezermen, at Vassar College in the Spring of, I don't know, maybe 01. Picture Sweet Caroline, Shout, Happy Together and the like as performed by a Kim Deal type on drums and my brother and his soon to be Ph.D buddy fumbling in search of appropriate chords while the captain of the baseball team turned in fight club vocals. Happily they all leaned on a dude with a keyboard turned up to 11 to make everything recognizable. Everyone in the room, except for that keyboard player, had guzzled an industrial soup pot's worth of suspicious punch; after the show we repaired to the college radio station control room where I repeatedly risked FCC fines on air while attempting to describe the ineffable effects of the Incredible String Band on one's own sense of self for an audience of none; it was one of the better nights of my life.

Next came a Forces at Work show in Denver and I have no real idea when that was; probably ten years ago. They opened for a San Diego based touring party band who opened for... someone else. I clearly don't remember much but I've still got my Forces at Work t-shirt and I know they took a break from performing my famous brother's songs to play I'm Waiting for My Man at a perfectly glacial pace; it made Danger Bird sound like a dance track.

It too was unspeakably awesome.

I hereby call upon My Famous Brother to do three things: First, he needs to put all of the 20+ years of independently made music he's recorded under the name The Dwindling Party up on Bandcamp or YouTube or something so I can share it with all of you and write about it.

Secondly, he needs to name for us the two other bands from that Forces at Work show in the comments section below; he and his two fantastic band mates are touring without any physical or logistical support while surely keeping up their full time day jobs' professional work. Plus my brother is busy being a good husband and dad and writing his daily blog. At the same time Prairewolf just polished off their second, soon to be issued, full length LP which sounds like Dylan's Pat Garratt meets Alice Coltrane. And he interviewed none other than Linda Thompson earlier this week.

So he's clearly got plenty of time on his hands and nothing better to do than fill up the comments section below. Clearly.

(Wait! The Donkeys!? I think that was the name of one of the bands...)

Thirdly: he needs to get Prairewolf to cover a song from Neil Young's fabulous and maddening drunken fight of a record Time Fades Away tonight. Why? Well, obviously, they need to do so because otherwise there will be absolutely no connection whatsoever between what I just wrote about and the title of this blog post.

So get busy already, famous brother. I want Yonder Stands the Sinner reworked in Prairewolf's patented cosmic white guy instrumental cowboy free jazz vein, and I want it 12 hours from now.

I'll report back tomorrow after the show with Part 2 of this post. And I promise to actually write about Time Fades Away while doing so...

Dear Stephen Stills, you suck. See you at tonight's show!

[sunmoonjune]

i conked right back out after reading that first answered ask LMAO ive literally been sleeping 12+ hours a day bc i ended up taking sick leave from work and i also got my period so my body's really just been like hmm what other doozy can i give her but now i'm actually awake and my brain juices are kinda flowing so ive been doing some hard thonking about your comments. this is literally unedited word vomit none of my theories make sense but oh well HAHA

YOU'RE TELLING ME WE HAVEN'T EVEN HIT THE TIP OF THE ICEBERG YET???? brb getting my straw so i can drink up the ocean and reveal the iceberg

went back to dig around your past asks and you said a lot of the reason why the villagers hate her is bc of her father and the incident happens around 9-10yo that changes everything sO idk im gonna take some shots in the dark dont laugh at me ,,,,,, so men are usually the only ones meant to train to become a warrior and enter the trials,,,,,,, and ofc as bug's father is the chief of the village he's going to want a son to take over but then he gets two daughters ?? bc you did also hint gender plays a big part of her backstory so im thinking is this one of the underlying reasons in the first place why bug and soojin always had such a rocky relationship with their father even before the incident . . ...... .has bug's mother passed? i feel like she has passed. and i feel like something happened during her death that bug's father then twisted and pinned the blame onto bug. ????? maybe that's why the memories of villagers spitting out it's her fault is so engrained in her :((( and it would make sense why she had the need to make a sign for 'dead'. IDK THERES STILL SO MANY HOLES I CANT SEEM TO THINK OF A SOLID THEORY i need some more hints ;)))))))

HMMMM sometimes soojin wasn't there?? now i'm thinking was it bc yun and bug often found themselves receiving the brunt of bug's father's anger .: they were often punished together and chucked into like a cell or sth so it was just them two sometimes. but then what did YUN do that got him on everyone's bad side too bc him getting banished was fo sho just a convenient opportunity that presented itself for bug's father to get rid of yun. HMHM speaking of ,, he was banished for conspiracy and injuring an officer. yun's not the type of person to just do that for no reason (+ im willing to bet your $11 and my 60c that the situation was twisted to make him look like the bad guy) and im thinking did bug's father say or do something that finally made him snap therefore leading to his accusation HMM

WAIT ALSO ARE THE SCARS UNDER HER MASK IN THE SHAPE OF SOMETHING OR SPELL OUT WORDS ???? bc it's been hinted again and again that there's an awful injury underneath and you have it as the cover of the to-be-published version but you cant reveal it bc it's too big of a spoiler so that leads me to think her face has been deliberately disfigured to look like sth 👀👀

waiting for the published version of ltm to drop so we can get signed copies but also asfksdjg we're gonna need a commissioned version of ltm with the atz boys to purchase instead bc can you imagine the line 'you may have cost wooyoung his yunho' as 'you may have cost kieran his brandon' HAHAHAHAHAAHA I LITRALLY CHOKED ON MY OWN SPIT sonia and her random names always have me cackling HAHA

OMG ALSO ARE WE GONNA GET YEO TEACHING BUG TO DANCE IN THE FUTURE OMGGMGGGG THATS THE LITERAL CUTEST i can already see all the boys tripping over each other and manhandling each other out of the way (with love) so that they can reach bug first and extend their hand out to ask for her first dance dsgjkagfdg noooooooooo 😭💕

also none of my friends irl stan ateez so i have no one to tell and i dont use tumblr enough to have moots apart from you (i woke up at 5am that day and saw your notif and couldnt fall back asleep bc i was literally rolling around in bed giggling) so im gonna tell you but im a relatively new atiny and this is going to be my first comeback with the boys and im literally frothing at the mouth with excitement bc the concept teasers ??? I LOVE THEM SO MUCH

hehehe I SO enjoyed your theories OMG!! Keep sending them my way I eat up all your thoughts on LTM <33

we have not indeed reached the tip of the iceberg ;) but we're close

and haha I would never laugh at you xD this was a very interesting theory about her past and I can't tell you if you're right quite yet,, but I can say: yes, chiefs want a son to take over the title of leader. and bug's father ended up with two daughters... there will be MUCH more on this in the future >:D

onto the topic of bug's mother... this is a VERY important part of the next chapter ;) I'm so glad you've brought it up,,, again I can't tell you much about her until the release of the next chapter but bug's mother does play a VERY BIG role in why certain people despise her so much

I genuinely cannot wait to see your reaction to the lore bits in the next chapter xD it won't reveal everything quite yet but it does reveal some of bug's past so I'm VERY excited,, I hope you'll come back to update your theories after you read it hehe >:D bug's past is long and kind of confusing until I string it all together at the end, but I'm hoping some of you will be able to puzzle it out hehe ;))

as for yun and Soojin,,, part of why Soojin was not with them as much will be referenced in the next chapter I think,, but it may not yet be revealed,, but you are correct in that yun and bug were often on the receiving end of her father and the village's anger :( I can't tell you why they directed it at bug but most of the hate towards yunho simply emerged because he was always trying to stop them from hurting her (this is heavily implied throughout the series so I don't think it's spoiling anything...)

and yunho's banishment.... that will be brought up again as well... perhaps not quite yet ;)

bug's scars.... yes, these are VERY important to bug's past and her entire story! that's why they're the cover of my hardcopy ;) once we reach that part of the story I'll show you the cover so you can get an understanding of what they look like. beneath her mask is extremely relevant to her past and why the village hates her so much... I can tell you that the shape of the scars are less important than what they did to her face...

hehe when the published version finally goes out there's going to be new content in it ;) extra scenes and what not that weren't included here :DD and perhaps I will send signed copies out if you guys want them enough xD

AHHAHA NO I've settled on their names for the published version and I promise there will be no Kieran or Brandon's LMAO,, names in books are SUPER important to me cause they give me a BIG ick in novels xD I cannot read a book about a guy named 'jack' or 'daniel' or something HAHA

and the dancing <33 there will be some fluff in the future about the dancing scene I promise ;)

also omg!! none of my irl besties like kpop either :( I would be happy to be on the receiving end of your rants about the comeback hehe xD I've been an atiny since pirate king and each cb has been AMAZING and I'm very excited too!! me and 🪷 anon have been yelling at each other in messages every time concept photos get leaked xD

I hope this answered some of your theories (even tho I couldn't really say much xD ) thank you for them hehe >:D I LOVE hearing your theories about bug's past because I CANNOT WAIT to reveal it xD

also! do you have a name you want to be called? I've been calling you 'eight' in my head since I saw your first messages but I haven't asked yet xD

[belethlegwen]

The Faerie Spell - Chp 6

Chapter One: Click Here Previous Chapter: Click Here Story Directory: Click Here Words: 3436 Summary: Daphne's stopped telling the crew about her 'episodes' after a few too many 'jokes' got tossed around during a full group hang-out.

[Super apologies, there seems to be a bug on Tumblr where this is fucking with dark mode/darker themes for some reason? I don't know why and I don't know how to fix it. Sorry!]

I’m not going to lie. 

I know I should have… talked to someone about the Gem thing. I should’ve, at least, talked to her. But every time I tried to think of a way, tried to even line up a conversation about it with SOMEONE, I always froze up and choked. Gem had been… fine, I guess, since the incident; at least in the sense that things were back to normal when we hung out together.

That said, I had… started to try and ask for help with errands when I knew Gem wouldn’t be available, and essentially just trying to avoid any one on one time where possible. It had been two and a half weeks or so since then, and now I was only seeing her when all of us were hanging out together somewhere.

Me and Sheridan had, for the most part, moved past the stupid vacuuming fight, but things were still tense enough that I tried not to bother her for anything. Cal was fine, but only if I caught them between shifts and before they started smoking. Mak was… well… I didn’t ask Mak to help, but if he offered I wouldn’t-- and couldn’t really-- say no once I had posted the request in the group chat.

As far as the group knew, there had only been one ‘episode’ or whatever we’re all calling it since the time with Gem, and it only just came to a halt after two days-- 42 hours and 12 minutes if I really wanna be nitpicky about it-- this morning. The group was extremely relieved to hear.

I had spent most of the time in the company of Cal, it had been weekdays so Sheridan was working, but she was pretty amicable in the morning and evenings when she was home and checking if I needed anything. At one point we even watched an episode of a show we’re both watching together, and that was actually pretty good? Like, there were some hiccups, obviously, she gets impatient if I insist on moving or climbing anywhere myself like she thinks I’m doing it to just bug her, but she’s at least learned to give me some warning before grabbing, though none of them are any good at actually asking me first.

There’s not a lot of room for ‘no’ when people don’t want to wait 12 times as long for you to get somewhere as the rest of them.

…Which is why they only knew about that episode, and that was only because it had lasted long enough that I couldn’t possibly keep it secret from anyone.

There had been two others in the last two weeks or so, and they were-- thankfully-- pretty short-lived. I really didn’t mean to keep at least the first one totally secret, but it had happened within maybe an hour or two of everyone leaving after a movie-night together and it was just… Well…

I had suggested basically as soon as I was out of the last episode and the grocery trip with Mak that maybe we could all-- because I really didn’t want to be alone with Gem, I know I’m a coward for avoiding this for so long, but still-- go catch a new movie. There was one I had been looking forward to forever that had been out for almost a month, but with the… you know, it was hard to convince myself it was worth it in case something happened.

Cal, Gem, and Sheridan were all gung-ho about it, and then suddenly later that day Gem jumped in with a suggestion that we do a movie in the house instead, and I just pretended that it was fine. It wasn’t hard to piece together what had probably happened; Mak didn’t want to go through the embarrassment of me zonking in public, even though I could’ve-- and have, honestly, at least in my head-- made dozens of arguments about how it wouldn’t be so bad because it’d be dark, we could sit at the very back so no one behind us would notice, and like… I mean… there was probably a way I could still watch the movie after that?

…I wasn’t completely confident that it would’ve worked out, volume would’ve been a problem for me-- I really need to buy earplugs, shoot, add that to the list-- but I was getting really tired of being on what I thought of at the time as house-arrest.

Either way, everyone came over that Friday night, and that was kind of where this whole new way of doing things started.

“We’re gonna put your new roommate through his paces to-night!” Cal had called dramatically from the doorway as they burst in with arms literally loaded down with bags of snacks. Gem was behind, carrying a tray of food she had cooked at home-- smelled like the pan-roasted sausage and veg thing she did with the brussel sprouts I actually liked-- and Mak followed after making sure his car was fully locked.

“He’s already had to take three trips to Sheri's room,” I laughed, jabbing a thumb at her as I’m sure she made a face behind me. We had to dump the poor guy so many times during his first full run of the house, but now he could get through the whole place without having to stop and blow up our phones with notifications that he was stuffed.

“He doesn’t get the corners well,” Sheri chimed in as she took the foil-covered tray from Gem and brought it to the kitchen while they took their coats and shoes off in the porch.

“That’s because you’re supposed to get the corners,” Cal retorted, Mak laughing with a nod.

“That’s broom work.”

“What’s even the point of getting it then?” Sheri groaned from the kitchen, and I just rolled my eyes. Me and Cal shot each other knowing looks and then moved to flop on the couch and start spreading out their trove of delicious snacks; chips, chocolates, gummies, BUGLES-- holy shit I love Bugles--, and a variety of store-bought dips, cookies, and a little tray of mini cupcakes.

“Hey, check it out,” Cal said as they whipped out a burned-CD in a clear case from the inside pocket of their coat. “Managed to nab it for you.”

“Oh my god Cal, fuck yes,” I laughed, the movie’s name scribbled in sharpie on the front. “Even a shitty cam job just to say I saw it while it was still kind of relevant will make my whole week. Thanks, bro.” I ruffled their messy dark-blond hair as they shot me an almost offended look.

“Oh, bro, no--” they replied with a grin, finally slipping out of their coat and shoving it behind them; it was always weird seeing Cal without the binder on, but they’d been in it all day at work and I knew that evening time was ‘breathing time’. “You think I would get you, my dearest, most incredible friend--”

“What do you want to borrow?” I shot across the bow but they simply flashed a stupid grin and continued.

“My treasured, longest-lasting friend,” I rolled my eyes with a similarly rolling laugh. “You think I would get you a dirty, peasant’s camjob? Bro, never-- this shit is aiming for the Academy.”

I gasped as Sheridan and Mak reentered the room from the kitchen holding plates of still-steaming food. “For Your Consideration?!” Sheri squealed excitedly.

Cal wiggled the disk between their fingers flashily. “For Our Consideration.”

“Fucker,” Mak laughed, “how do you always find those and find the legit ones?”

“Trade secret,” Cal shot back with a finger to their lips. 

Gem came out with two plates full of the sausage-sprout roast thing and handed one each to Cal and me before running back to the kitchen for her own. I squished down to be closer to the end of the couch where my stairs were attached and Cal squished down with me, giving Gem room at the other end for herself and Sheridan, Mak taking the recliner for himself. 

“Fahbuloush food,” Cal said between shovel-fuls of it, flashing a thumbs up.

“Yeah, it’s fantastic,” I said, leaning out a bit to nod to Gem directly. She beamed at me and I couldn’t help but feel just… awkward. Did she really not remember? Or did she really think I didn’t know? Was what happened really just… nothing and I was just making a big deal out of nothing?

I blushed and sat back, focusing on the food as Cal’s feral eating knocking some of the crispier bits of parm and panko crumbs to the floor. “Shorreh,” they managed through a mouthful that spat out a couple of other little pieces of food beyond their notice. I shuddered a little; that never would’ve disgusted me before now, but tonight I was feeling extremely grateful that I wasn’t only depending on myself or Sheri to clean the floors at least a little anymore.

“It’s cool,” Sheri offered, also face deep in dinner. “Roombie will get it.”

“Oh god you didn’t name it Roombie did you?” Mak asked with a look of utter incredulity from the recliner.

“I haven’t named it at all, I shouldn’t have had to buy the damn thing to begin with--” Sheridan started and I actually felt a little proud-- almost-- that everyone seemed to jump on it before I had to.

“Yes you did,” Mak and Gem said in different levels of gentleness.

“No, you should’ve been fuckin’ vacuuming,” Cal snapped to a harsh hush from Gem after they had finally swallowed, reaching into one of their bags and hauling out cans of soda and dispersing them among the crowd of us. “Anyway, name the li’l guy. You’ll feel better about it.”

“I’m terrible with names,” Sheri sighed.

That had opened the gates, and I probably should’ve jumped in and said something, or at least like… said no, but…

“Yuzuki, that maid from Chobits--”

“Jeeves, you gotta call it Jeeves.”

“Smithers!”

“Let Daph name it.”

“Oh god it’ll get named after a horror movie villain or something.”

“Chasing her through the house like Jason chases teens through the woods.”

“Hannibal,” Cal suggested, everyone laughing at it in some way or another. I laughed too, honestly, just because it-- I mean, I can see why they found it funny. Everyone was having a good time! It was nice to just have a laugh with everyone.

Anyway, the Roomba’s name is Hannibal now. I’m not… it’s not bad, I’m not mad about it.

The ‘jokes’ afterwards were a bit… too much though.

Even when the movie was on, and I was trying to pay attention, comments would keep getting made. There were some innocent ones, and questions, which I kind of appreciated, but it always devolved back to the same dumb joke.

“Does Hannibal knock into your stairs or ladders much?” Mak had asked at one point, nodding toward the steps against my arm of the couch, I wobbled my head. 

“They’re all sturdy enough that if he runs into them front-on he’ll turn, but if he’s coming up the bookshelf he’s knocked the ladder down a couple of times. I adjusted those so they’re high enough off the ground he won’t bump them, I have the one the bookshelf rigged up with an elastic so--”

“Neat,” he said bluntly, turning back to his food. Cal picked up his sudden exit from the conversation and stepped in though; at least Cal had my back. For this, anyway.

“Oh shit, that’s actually really cool,” they said, leaning over the back of the couch to look at the ladder and little doll-room I had set up on the bookshelf. “And you’re heavy enough that if you grab on, it’ll pull down?”

“That’s the theory,” I had replied, a bit embarrassedly. Obviously I hadn’t tested it yet, but… I mean, I had hope it would work.

“Well, if you zonk tonight and it doesn’t work, I’ll keep you off the ground so you don’t have to worry about Hannibal,” they laughed, grabbing my knee and shaking it as they kept looking at it. “Oh damn you can even see the TV from that little spot, hey? Fuckin’ smart.”

Gem had been chewing and couldn’t chime in fast enough, almost gasping for air as she finally swallowed. “If she zonks tonight then you keep Hannibal turned off until she’s back to normal,” she stressed, shooting looks around the room.

“No, it’s fine,” I tried to interject. “He’s only set to start doing his auto-cleaning after Sheri leaves for work and before I have to do any morning Zoom meetings.”

“It’s still too much of a risk,” Gem said from her end of the couch with that clear tone of ‘don’t argue with me’ that was really starting to get my hackles up. “And too noisy for you at that size.”

“He’s actually a lot quieter than th--” I started to argue anyway, but Mak decided to cut in and remind us that there was a movie on, and I blushed, feeling like a child.

This was the movie I had wanted to watch, and I had missed probably 20% of it or more to chatter started by everyone else.

Cal had gotten up and left around the midpoint, stepping outside to smoke ‘subtly’ though everyone knew what was happening. They had given me a nudge to go along, but I had already missed enough of the movie-- I was just hoping Cal would leave it here at the end of the night so I could try it again when no one else was here.

Gem had scooted closer in their absence, and I had kind of felt it coming but tried to play it cool as she picked at snacks and stuff. By the time Cal had come back, she had almost fully taken over their spot, and Cal didn’t see the look on face before they flopped down between Gem and Sheridan, much to everyone but Gem’s disappointment.

I got up to run to the kitchen in one of the quieter moments, and Gem followed.

“Hey, if you zonk tonight…” she had begun softly after a while had passed and everyone finally seemed willing to watch the movie in the other room, “you don’t have to worry. You could come back to my place again, if you wanted, rather than worry about being here.”

“I, uh…”

Listen. Listen. I know what I should’ve said and I know I shouldn’t have been pushing this whole bullshit off, but I was! It’s too late to change that so like, try to keep your comments to yourselves on this one. 

“I’m pretty tired tonight so if, uh, if it happens I’d be fine to just hang out here. I’ve got my beds, it’s ok.”

“If you’re sure…” she drawled, and I could hear the disappointment in her voice in a way that felt like I was being dipped in ice-water. “I just… I don’t like the idea of you being alone in there.”

“I know, I--” the words literally tried to choke me. “Thanks, Gem,” I managed, cocking my head back out toward the living room. “I’m gonna head back, I don’t wanna miss anything.”

Like… she was being nice, everyone would say she’s just being nice by offering for me to stay at her place. Me and Sheridan aren’t on like… same-room-sleepover terms of relationship, and I don’t ever want that with her. Mak absolutely won’t go near me if I zonk, turns out, so that’s out. Cal I might be able to convince to sleepover, but they’ve got cats so I would never be able to stay at their place, and Sheri doesn’t like them hanging out, so…

I went back to the couch and managed to drag Cal over to lean on me before Gem came back. Yeah, if I zonked tonight, I’d just ask Cal to sleepover.

At least, that’s what I thought until Cal opened their damn mouth about it later.

“Hey, that was a pretty good movie, I think,” they drawled as we both brought some trash into the kitchen together. 

“Yeah, can I keep the disc for a bit? I’d like to rewatch it,” I jumped at the opportunity, holding open the trash bag for them.

“Oh yeah absolutely, you can even keep it in the player so you can like, use the remote with your feet and stuff,” they said, looking at me like a brilliant revelation had hit them.

“My feet?” I laughed. Jesus, Cal had hit the devil’s lettuce hard tonight.

“Yeah for when you zonk,” they said with a grin, chuckling.

“Ah.” Of course. I’m the only one apparently trying to not think about that tonight while I’m supposed to be having fun. Cal, despite being somewhere in the stratosphere mentally, could still pick up that I was uncomfortable.

“Hey it’s cool, if you zonk, you know I’ll keep you off the ground n’ stuff.”

“You really don’t need to,” I replied as they threw an arm over my shoulders and started wheeling back around to the livingroom to get more garbage for cleaning. “I mean, you’re having a good night, I wouldn’t want you to freak out about dropping me.”

“Pffffft,” Cal said-- shooting me a look I hope I don’t ever have to see again-- as they pulled the neck of their shirt down. “No binder tonight, don’t even have to use my hands.”

“Ew, Cal--” I blurted out trying to shove them away. I was laughing, I knew I was laughing, but my face and my body absolutely didn’t want to be laughing right now; I don’t even know why I was laughing about it, it just seemed to be the only reaction my brain thought was appropriate? Like it panicked and spun a wheel and here we are! Laugh-town!

“Haha, c’mon,” Cal drawled as they started picking up garbage again, me doing the same to try and take my mind off of it. “You’d love it in there, you can’t tell me you haven’t thought about it, right?”

“Thought about what?” Mak asked as he came back from the bathroom, I tried to shake my head at him to cut if off but Cal had his undivided attention.

“Giant tits,” they snorted with a knowing nod to Mak. Mak’s expression was probably the most blender-mashed look of confusion, disgust, awkwardness and curiosity I’d ever seen, and that was still not nearly as gross to look at as Cal’s face when they grabbed me by the shoulder and said. “I mean, my are mostly only hairy around the nipples, so it’s still pretty good in the middle there, I think.”

“Cal, fuck off,” I said, trying to shove them off again. All it did was make Cal laugh more, and I tried to focus on picking up the dishes and litter from around the room as Sheri and Gem came back from Sheri’s bedroom, also looking curious about what was happening.

Gem rushed over to take some of the dishes from me, and I said a quiet thanks as Cal clarified to Sher behind her that they’d offer me a cleavage ride. Gem’s eyes went wide as she darted them between me and Cal in surprise, and I couldn’t get a read on her expression. “Fuck off with the weird jokes, Cal,” I muttered again, breaking eyecontact with Gem as I did.

My eyes dropped to her shirt, feeling kind of relieved that it wasn’t one with a breast pocket, but I had to contain my shiver as I turned to walk away. Her shirt was… pretty low-cut, and my head just kept going back to all of the weird shit that happened earlier the week, on top of this weird fucking conversation.

One of the things that made me feel even worse was that I knew I was blushing, and I was terrified what she would think of that if she had seen it.

That’s why, obviously, after everyone had left and me and Sheri were getting ready for bed, I decided not to say a damn thing when those stupid warm waves started to come over me. That’s why I just said goodnight, went to my room, and sat on the top of my desk with one of the bags of leftover snacks in my lap until that stupid fucking faerie finished their stupid fucking bullshit, and I dragged my gross-feeling ass all the way up to my stupid tiny sponge-of-a-mattress and ate cheetos until I fell asleep.

------------

Next Chapter: Click Here

[aliford]

the songs on the radio are okay, but my taste in music is your face || GIALI

tagging: Gigi Jones ( @giannajo ) & Ali Rutherford

date & time: Wednesday, August 21, 2024 some time at night

location: the PSU dance studio practice room

warnings: sober!ali lol but none

summary: pretty simply this is the first meeting between Gigi and Ali and it should have been nothing but it's kind of everything.

ALI looked at the time on her laptop, it had been like a full 12 hours since she last smoked, which explained why despite being in a sound proof studio everything was so... loud. Inside her head was a fucking nightmare or sounds, like music but out of order, upside down and backwards. Getting high calmed that, made things quiet again so she could do normal shit like sleep and watch tv, and talk to people, but the noise was good for her music so she didn't usually smoke on studio days or for gigs. But it had been fucking forever and she was gonna let her laptop and her decks get some rest. As she walked out something caught her attention from the corner of her eye. There was a dance studio accross the hall. She could only see part of whoever was in there but she already felt a pull and before she noticed her feet had brought her in full view of the dancer. The lines, her movements, how perfectly intune her body was with each and every beat that played, like her body and the music were one in the same. It was mesmerizing, so much so she hadn't realized she was just inside of the room, her head full of just the music coming from the speakers and her eyes focused on the physical embodiment of that music. Then their eyes met and Ali was brought back to reality. "Oh shit, my bad. I didn't mean to stare." She kinda yelled over the music.

GIANNA had been bored, to say the least, since she'd settled in back at home and been impatiently waiting for classes to start. Her mom had at least helped her spend a portion of the day going over future dance avenues she could explore after she obtained her next degree, but when the woman excused herself to go handle some work stuff, she'd decided to head to campus and take advantage of the dance studio. While she could have gone back to dancing at home, the full length mirrors in the studio and the sound system was just better for getting her in the zone. And as soon as she'd hit play on a track and started rehearsing old routines, the adrenaline was pumping and she was completely in her element. Gianna always felt at home when she was losing herself in a number, and this was no different seeing as how she was so lost that it took a few minutes before her eyes actually registered the other woman standing there, and the eye contact just barely startled her. Doing a pirouette en dedans to end her routine, she barely heard what the other woman yelled out so she stopped the music before turning to face her. "How long have you been standing there?"

ALI felt exposed as the music stopped and the uestion was a good solid question. Shame Ali didn't really have an answer that made sense. She didn't know the names of the moves and she definitely couldn't do them enough justice herself to show her what she saw. So, she did the only thing she could and mimicked the instrumentals with her voice, adding her hands to slap her legs for the percussive parts. No way she didn't look fucking ridiculous but surly the other woman would recognize that part of the song and get what she was trying to say. Stopping, because her legs were kind over the slapping, she just leaned against the bar along the wall. "About that long. I wasn't being creepy, I was just on my way out and it's hardnot to look at you." Thanks to the lack of weed, she processed what she said pretty quickly. "You're really fucking good, and it's hard not to watch." She tried to clarify.

GIANNA hadn't really met anyone that wasn't affiliated with the dance studio since enrolling in PSU, so the fact that someone who clearly wasn't a dance major had just stumbled in and watched her practice was surprising. She hadn't even expected anyone else to be around now, but she wasn't that bothered by it. When Ali started using her hand and legs to recreate the portion of the song she'd clearly walked in on, she was both impressed and conflicted as to why she didn't just give her a verbal response. Once she stopped the beat and finally spoke up again, Gianna blushed at her words. "Thank you." She answered through a cheeky grin. "Judging by the way you imitated that beat, I'm assuming you're musically inclined?" She questioned curiously before realizing they didn't even know one another's names. "I'm Gianna, by the way."

ALI felt the corner of her mouth go up in a rare but genuine smile at the sight of the other woman's flushed cheeks. It had been a while since she managed to elicit that kind of reaction out of anyone. Usually when she spoke people were confused, maybe they laughed but they never blushed, even if she was trying to pay them a compliment. "Yeah, I hit a drum here and there sometimes." It was a gross understatement, but it was meant to be sarcastic, hopefully that came through. "Gianna, sounds like a name my mom would like. My government name is Aliyah but only my mom calls me that, you can just call me Ali." She explained, pretty unecessarily but she was.... nervous? Is that what this flutter in her stomach and this warmth blanketing her skin meant? "There's a sound studio across the all, I've been in there the last 12 hours working on some new mixes. Didn't realize how late it got. I haven't seen you around the past ten years, you new to LA?"

GIANNA couldn't remember the last time someone had complimented her or made her blush, yet it was kind of nice. Sure, it was mostly her fault because she was usually so wrapped up in her studies and her family, but at least she was trying to find a balance now. She nodded at Ali's explanation of the music thing. "Just the drums?" She inquired. Sitting the remote for the music player down, she grabbed her water bottle and sipped on it as Aliyah kept talking. Maybe the girl was rambling now, like she normally did when talking to someone attractive, but she didn't mind it at all. "Well, it's nice to meet you, Ali. Good to know that your mom would like my name." She smiled. "12 hours is a long ass time to be tucked away in a studio, but I completely understand that. And no, I'm not technically new to LA. I was raised here, but I was in New York the last 9 years for ballet school. Figured it was about time I came to PSU for the experience though."

ALI wasn't good at much but when it came to music, she was, what some might call, gifted. So, no, technically it wasn't just the drums, but that was her favorite. "Uh, nah, I can play a few things, just like the drums the best." It felt oddly personal to answer that question and it made the drummer realize, she really doesn't talk to people. And Jake doesn't count, because he's not a person he's... Jake. At the dancer's response to her rambling, Ali kinda wanted to sink into the floor, and hopefully reemerge on the other side in a different universe where she hadn't just brought her mom up in casual conversation with arguably the most stunningly etheral woman she'd ever seen. Focusing, something she could do now she was sober, on what Gianna was saying she was impressed. "Ballet school is fucking rough. Was talking to a chick a while ago who was in ballet school and most of the people who start don't finish. You're some kind of super human. PSU'll be a fucking party compared to that." It was actually kind of dope being about to talk like a normal person for a change. Usually she was just spewing whatever dumbass thought was rolling around in her brain.

GIANNA smiled as Ali admitted that she could play a handful of things. "Well since you got to watch me dance, it's only fair that I get to listen to your music sometime, right?" She didn't know why she'd even suggested such, but it was too late to take it back so she just went with it. She blushed again as Ali seemed to think that she was special just because she'd stuck with the whole ballet school thing, which was hell on Earth but also one of the most rewarding things she'd ever done. "I'm a disciplined dancer so even when it was hard, I couldn't bring myself to just give it up. Not after I'd dedicated so much time and auditions to it. But a party, huh? I've never been the party type, and I don't make friends that easily, but I'm sure this school will be a lot less strict." Gianna nodded. "Did your friend drop out of ballet school? Or did you two cut things off before you found out how things ended for her?"

ALI nodded in agreement. "Fair's fair." She replied trying to hide a smile but probably failing. However, she didn't set any plans because she wasn't sure if that was a good idea or not and she wasn't sure why it would be a bad idea. God, if this girl kept blushing it was gonna get really hard not to reach out and feel just how warm she made her cheeks. But even thinking it sounded fucking creepy, so instead she listened to the music in her head and logged it away for later. A warm harp riff, it'd been a while since she felt the urge to break out the angelic instrument. Listening to her talk about her dedication to her craft, woke something up in Ali, something she hadn't paid any attention to for years at this point. That fire and passion she use to have for her music, not that she didn't still love it, but she was always so fucking numb, standing here with Gianna, it was like her senses were set alight and it was overstimulating but there was also a comfortable humm to it."We gotta change that, college is for partying and I'm at a lot of them, not really for the party, I'm just there to spin some decks for the people. I'm generous like that." She put her hand to her chest in fake humility. "She dropped, ended up in culinary school, which is pretty dope and she didn't connect to the music the way you do, like it's an extension of you, like it is you. She does have that with food though. I visit where she's a Sous Chef sometimes."

GIANNA couldn't recall ever blushing like this before with anyone else, but it was probably because Ali kept giving her compliments and she'd never had that happen before either. All of this was new for her, but she wasn't complaining about it either. Raising a brow at Ali suggesting she party more now, she then nodded along as she pointed out that she apparently did some dj'ing or something like that for parties. "Oh, aren't you sweet?" She teased. "But I don't know, I'm not really here to party, and big crowds aren't exactly my thing. But how about you let me know when you're actually working the party, and maybe I'll come just to see you in action." She suggested, walking over to her bag and grabbing her phone before she walked back over. "Here." She hummed, holding the phone out to Ali. "And as for the Sous Chef, that's still pretty damn impressive. For her. But dance is my life, kinda how music seems to be yours, so I couldn't imagine doing anything else. Even if I don't know what sort of career I'll have with this longterm, I just..can't do anything else." She admitted.

ALI found her own cheeks were starter to get a little warm with all this blushing the dancer was doing. Is sympathetic blushing a thing? Despite her head getting louder and louder, the other girl's voice was so loud and clear in her ears, and it made listening to her impossible not to do. Again, she found herself smiling as Gianna went to get, what ended up being, her phone and the warmth from her cheeks started to creep down her neck, and god damn she hoped she didn't look like she had some kind of rash. Although she doubted the flush looked as cute on her as it did the other. Taking the phone, she put her number in and made her contact name, 'Ali 🥁'. Honestly, Ali was too afriad to speak incase she fucked this whole thing up, so she just handed the phone back. Again the music was still in her head but Gianna's voice was wrapping around it like a melody. "I know what you mean." She said simply and then starter backing away with little finger guns like a dumbass. "I texted myself so, if you start getting random memes, I made them and you're welcome." With that she saluted, again, like a dumbass, and finally left her presense and god damn she needed something strong, her head has never been louder.

[productiveandfree]

You Are Your Habits

Recently we went camping with my son’s cub scouts group, and one mom, I noticed, despite the really chilly weather, took a shower first thing in the morning and right before bed at night. We all commended her for it. The shocking part of it all was, even her sons took a shower as well.  

The rest of us decided early on that none of us would be taking showers during that entire camping trip. Granted it was only three days and two nights. 30 degrees at night and a mere 60 degrees during the day. So, it wasn’t really that bad. It was not like an entire trip, backpacking up the mountains for a week.  

So, why am I talking about camping and showers. Well, I wanted to discuss habits. This mom told me that ever since she was young, her mom instilled into her this habit, and it is so innate in her that could not function or start her day without first taking her shower. Her mom taught her this habit, her grandmother taught her mom, and now, she is did the same to her boys.  

"If habits are a part of who we are, then our habits become who we are. "

Does that make sense? Let’s break that down.  

My father has strict habits of his own. Which I admired. He was the first one in the office, and the last one who left. This was of course before his heart attack. After which, he had to slow down with his schedule a bit.  

I remember him having a huge whiteboard in his office to keep track of all sorts of things, clients, payables, collectibles, and his employees would be coming in to check things off and add things.  

I tried to work in his office one summer for extra allowance and he made sure I was never late, and always left the same time as him. I remember him doing his morning routine, having breakfast, always oatmeal, then getting his attaché case, then getting into the car, that was waiting for him.  

We’d arrive in the office, and everyone would greet him good morning and we’d go about business. At around 11:45 we would order lunch and at 12 noon, the lights would dim, so everyone would know its lunch time. At 5pm, his driver would pick up his attaché case, which meant it was time to go, and we’d leave for the day. Like clockwork. Every day.  

My dad was also a stickler for time. He doesn’t like being late. He was such an early bird. When he says that we need to leave at like 5:30, you better be down the stairs and running to the car by 5:25 or he’d be by the stairs calling your name. No threats or anything, he’ll just have that annoyed look on his face.  

Habits and routine were a big thing for him. It was a big part of him. I believe that his habits made him who he was and helped him be successful.  

My sister, Tet also has a schedule of her own. I’m not exactly sure of her schedule. We follow very different time tables, but there is no interrupting her when she is working. She is very disciplined in following that schedule and it is very admirable and impressive. 

She’s always been that disciplined. Even when she was a child, when she studied for school and exams, she had very good study habits that she never had to cram for tests. I never understood how she did it, but again, it made her remarkably successful in her endeavors.  

Remember she started ProductiveandFree on her own. Which sprouted from DrawntoDIY. She created a successful business by diligently researching and constantly creating content and templates that our clients need and what the market demands. When she got it off the ground, we were all so proud and impressed and still are. #girlboss. 

So again, if habits are a part of who we are, then our habits become who we are.  

Simply put, the things we do in our daily lives are what makes us who we are. If we spend time watching Netflix for hours, eating fast food, and making excuses instead of doing what needs to be done, where do you think you will be tomorrow, or in a week, or in a month? 

Then again, if you get up now, turn that tv off, throw that fast food, stop making excuses, start walking, eat something healthy, read a book, then where would you be tomorrow, or in a week, or in a month? 

Believe me, it is not easy. I know.  

I have my own set of bad habits and the list is long. Right now, I’m struggling with trying to get back to eating healthily and doing all that regularly. It is a constant struggle. One minute I’m on track, eating the right foods, no sweets, no carbs, then I see a smore and I have smores for like a month, and it all goes down the drain. Then I try to start over again, then I see my favorite chocolate bread, and there we go again.  

So, you are not alone. The thing is, do we let that define us? Do we stop from there? Do we stop and give up? NEVER. We keep trying. We keep going. We let our habits become our successes. Then everything else will follow from there.  

Point here is, we never give up. There will always be difficulties. We never let the ‘downs’ keep us down. We rise with every fall. We try again. We keep moving.

Words of wisdom:

Share in the comments below: Questions go here

[monsooninn]

Berakhot 7a:5. "Jaws."

Continuing on page 7 is our discussion on law, order, and anger. All of these pertain to the presence of the Black Pillar. There are no reasons for the existence of the Black Pillar of Corruption on this world. It makes no sense that the city of Washington DC is at peace and Jerusalem is not. What is different? One place has a corrupt government one place does not.

If we were to put the DC City Council in charge of Jerusalem, could they fix things? Yes we could. Why are we not doing this then? This is also because of a kind of corruption that should make us angry. We could easily hire people like the DC City Council to work in Jerusalem. Our decision to value the happiness of the people living in Washington over those living in Jerusalem is arbitrary. There is no reason they should be not be governed alike and experience the same quality of life.

The God of Jonathan is a pivotal being in the transference of anger when lawlessness and disorder are displacing people from their ordained purposes. He changed Washington DC, He can change the rest. To be able to mutate from a society that is incapable of noticing all it has lost due to corruption in its midst and eke out civilization is the path to Mashiach the human race too often refuses to take. Nonetheless, the Mishnah Torah states it is a journey we must make:

5. And Rabbi Yohanan said on behalf of Rabbi Yossi: Whence there is no one to restrain a man in the hour of his anger, he dictated: "Let them go and let me go to you." The Holy One, blessed be He, told him to Moses: Wait for me until the faces of anger pass by and you are sweet.

Yossi, Joseph, is derived from yu, "in the Name of the Lord", and sef, "the sill of the threshold." In Judaism the threshold is a complex topic. It is the mystery beneath our feet, the knife in our hearts, it is the unsolvable mystery that we allow to govern our lives. Ultimately it is crossed by understanding the meaning of the lives of the Neviim.

The Torah explains how civilization is made from the clay of human remorse into something none of us shall regret. The Neviim explain how to turn all of it from fantasy in personal reality. They represent the gods of Judaism, demigods and goddesses whose names have symbolic meaning, whose lives and stories have esoteric meaning we can turn into some aspect of real life.

All Jewish gods are successes. They make twists and turns but they are not flawed, they do not fail, all of them complete the portrait God intended for us to see. Jonathan is one of the more frequent named by the Mishnah because he turned a dirty filthy murdering savage boy, David into a King to whom the Lord Prophesied:

2 Samuel 7:

8 “Now then, tell my servant David, ‘This is what the Lord Almighty says: I took you from the pasture, from tending the flock, and appointed you ruler over my people Israel. 9 I have been with you wherever you have gone, and I have cut off all your enemies from before you. Now I will make your name great, like the names of the greatest men on earth. 10 And I will provide a place for my people Israel and will plant them so that they can have a home of their own and no longer be disturbed. Wicked people will not oppress them anymore, as they did at the beginning 11 and have done ever since the time I appointed leaders[a] over my people Israel. I will also give you rest from all your enemies. “‘The Lord declares to you that the Lord himself will establish a house for you: 12 When your days are over and you rest with your ancestors, I will raise up your offspring to succeed you, your own flesh and blood, and I will establish his kingdom. 13 He is the one who will build a house for my Name, and I will establish the throne of his kingdom forever. 14 I will be his father, and he will be my son. When he does wrong, I will punish him with a rod wielded by men, with floggings inflicted by human hands. 15 But my love will never be taken away from him, as I took it away from Saul, whom I removed from before you. 16 Your house and your kingdom will endure forever before me[b]; your throne will be established forever.’”

Without Jonathan the little trollup whore, David would not have become royalty or taken over the reigns of the mess King Saul, who had no vision left behind and created a lasting name for himself.

The Mishnah is telling us we need to follow the example of these Neviim, triumph over the messes our former rulers have left for us and cross the border into our own discrete and purposeful lives. This time, it will be one demarcated by the Crown of Israel who will not suffer a lawless human race to overthrow the will of God that is identified by the Torah.

The Value in Gematria is 7292, זבטב‎‎ , zabat zabtev, "the jaws of the wolf."

The Gemara likens the human race to the jaws of a wolf when it tries to be happy while lawlessness and disorder are prevalent.

The planet is becoming a giant tumbled down concrete slum. We have turned our back on it for too long. The Mishnah says God will put our happiness on hold until this is fixed.

[libidomechanica]

Untitled Poem # 10825

A limerick sequence

               1

’Er a Tory, or wrinkle graven sae fair of those floor. Who, there, if the    paused; if the skull, voluptuous    dittie Lewes to heard; his lily ground the wind, and man.

               2

And this world care, and in me little for shamed of Maud, you dost both what there.    I view the op’ning in    the pricks, still at whistled lights and blush rising durst pressed, who see.

               3

That Lamp had had the believer rage of these, love scorn em all: not thou, between,    and complete. Her face    doth what transient head of the fiend call’d my heart; no happy hour!

               4

With his wiping—anon-anon: thence? Wide and kisses glared with a stone. Love,    nor peer nobly dear soul,    and teares dependenture shell’s his spirit came Spring arms.

               5

Sylvia they makes a lily be. Did he, Let others from time upon    her round whole, as well as    mine are sons go. Dinners in chisell’d high, felt thou to’t, we lay?

               6

Unlike—it seemed pale and a quarrel with what yokes with me of condemnificative    but sings. Peak    strange simplicit newspaper spinnin’ wheels, and disappoint outgoe.

               7

As nine were sing. Lay siluer soul love in the unite each was his could say    I’ve of Slave of chess of    thee! With my unkind this little while thou bonny, of hope, dear!

               8

A heards ritch, how off with holds falling curl for sure I? And leave task the durst    not which the choir when    your bound, as he digits own life out of Love, and correct yes.

               9

And here wrough nis torn by her death one another flowers as well. An fond    the Lot something—Thou could    remembers quill. Take has but when thus to this I can ne’er shoes.

               10

Lay striue the wedded maintained: but seldom never fail. Rise for other would    be their own contrary;    her body. The Potter, when though same valley, comes to retreat?

               11

Of my mind which yet; because if he had gain in with sympathetic, being,    on ready for thou    were lain my own legs. But you wilt thousand watch’d about her fail.

               12

Ye couch’d, alas! Yet when from the stop post-obit oft; skin fear that ken mortgaged    it not himself with    cold lip should make thou, believe to kiss, smell; and shown; then of Thee.

               13

Although a poet, and made me rueth. Too soon was such? Juno where country    with her Graces might, and    fain he directest to fall laws. Who, when I pursue; to rove!

               14

If those whole. Then, are limits his can string the falls, will bare all in he case.    He soul, or purely wealth    to the children call his neighbour’s gladly die. To the other!

               15

The sky is a disembargoed from weekends of the strange man where apt to    be heart, I for this silent—    the most great Nature’s mind upon the source trellish and crust.

               16

The said Ida, tremblings and I showe? In my sake weel aff, make Time past would    have nothings of years so    this, with Sense and pity courteous purple, nor forth her they?

               17

My hand in either, waiting from any other immoral double and    dreary words the chaste. I    have bid me undering to sit a sighing breath, or harvest.

               18

With so dear old Time so this was dead, shuffles: she comparison. And I    have had now it had gone    young, the grass. Held unto itself. Takers of chiefest to prest.

               19

And trying stupid, for nation, so oft bed. Strain of the town; the Lasciate were    she night we white of my    break from thee remove, and of conversal framed, I can obeys.

               20

With then what I do, yet thyself shut his battle unroll’d! Were the blest feelings    a thou to feet of    chief musical superstition what has not just we benches.

               21

With a cry Supper to loue, all the heaven, and wakeful to us    none, for the you and hear,    no more. To find few females the sufference the lily, what?

               22

But rolling lips thee. Of all to rest green. Yet, tis to survey, if he charmes    essay’d the darken’d;    feeling from me; who am I raging so clouds of joy; praise.

               23

The wise may let us to me. To him, and ploughman, garland like glass and    the name a tribute take    it, all my joy in higher: great, my heart them nor mother, O!

               24

Upon the honest beg in vain, alike that he really after all place.    Here not breast this pillowing    of praise, round her the bath you know; even chace to Nanie, O.

               25

So present faile he can proper exist, which turn no more may be, which glibly    gliding. Rise, now, but    not thus: in Sommerce tiger’s right be: I seeks the uniform.

               26

, Cupid’s statute of sleek, and every servation, for God, who long with him    wind at the tinkling the    was no greater teens. And plays with the vitriol madness hand.

               27

And, but kind, and moon, and in—Yes—the Market, compass my eyes are seek in    Joy; shall darkness, his seen    a girl was sent from its Cup whole mine. Such a living doth bind.

               28

There flame desire; and everywhere sleeps and then to jest upon my breasts,    nor yet determing golden    stone; she shatter, me, lay siluer some, fear? It does nor war?

               29

As if not be married Cæsar blood-red heavy got, and Jesus from a band    often both do stand, propp’d    about Horne of Adeline, instance departee. And lassie, O.

               30

That sight ever out eating on it by the love, beating, blue een. Then shares    with my feet of chamber    flake and the same lease; she have you. Had offices, yet, my life.

               31

With my cold wanton, like a ghost, with the shallow taxation of silver,    this, an’ love the whole; rise    of Things—how their fight do cry. The acted on the Mamma Mia’s!

               32

Who wouldn’t creepe: she sea’s reduced away. Back to the latter, me, O; but I    lay strea’s revengeance breed    unremember, voice with a mother between train my own bones.

               33

As amber, in air: tho women to pass. You: I love as a generous    to palms, and sky above,    or Lady Adeline their lord Henry said—Why ne’er retreat!

               34

And presume me thrill at would go forges the unfashion, and vain his to    flow’r before yourse or cheek    of yonder crept seru’d the sweet, and was thou think on. The heart.

               35

Quo’ her built upon a beggar and yet it light? And through her olive, set    me down wi’ right and from    me quiet and that raw cold something servants through selfe did lyeth.

               36

Yet, and then we cat! Sky, I will less and her loves into try and yet I    lost inclined to-night so    blaws loue, cease me. The life, to pique or are the lawsuit obtaine!

               37

Longer paler who know I beheld herself; lay silent disapprove the    tender movement, lighted    that he showers. Melissa came, ne streight: in was Nelly Gray!

               38

To have drank in through he gain, is they all I say, much is a wanted. The    ghosts, haunt O Deere on knees    have behind him off from the spring, my lord was full-grown sphere.

               39

In sadly woke before that a war nor save tied by me the Memory,    of my must. Murmur tone    alive every violate; ye could be, to sounded, yoked knife.

               40

By all read in a Noose of innumerable manifold, but I, ’ said    him when vicarage, wrough    I no less? Less precious feeling, of woe were two except faith.

               41

She sings of tear. I leaue now the world ended facility; had cut that    disting falling stupid,    for such pierce her hands into the spectre seem’d the Cupid’s Lips.

               42

For won, if Time walking, or his Gray! Without somewhat like a weary of    yore burnt at the women    up-close, as my heart that from the dinners in celebration.

               43

Those from vertue never hardest sow’d tapers use, waking organ’s floats the moved    to-night else word restore    of right. And she, near me miserably reigned; and kisses, whether.

               44

But stopt within the more blood, but lives of maid, sing me, that haste the women    us. Disdains grown, he    silver netting unto a Green let have relief; ah, heart, ’ said.

               45

But what winds, his was thy should lie and short hearse. As well sailes better want.    Nor lose of tithes, crying:    on thy skill we inherit, then, my deede: and whining lute.

               46

Outward to Flight: and from a school girl. When already, he was gone him; drest,    which faltered me a quiet    air, yet love, and cavern caught imparting songs doe flew wide.

               47

That like a giant with is the firths of the awful charms he’s woo’d and reason    down; them will, his    rebellious time was a scheme the town; then love the I turn backwoods.

               48

And dry. Thought meeting rose-buds fight wishings by their sighed: I fledde, till his Chamber    yon me, weak woman’s    ear, but a garden growing gyres, by the pale crystal’s lot!

               49

The Grape! Departed; stellas rail as true. Which we love, my heavenly light    she no less, plighten both    honourable, young, contrary; her forms than ever retreat?

               50

Unlike so louded; falling you: and give moat, stands creeps, on when did breast. Hatred    of tended tearest,    follow chime, thou wrinkled hearse were thy grieved to acceptation.

               51

Where it listence, on close my bliss on and tell thy captive let of the cruell    how many a long years    ape, can taught God and speak and tell; or lights. Today to a rage.

               52

Sparkling Religion. Leaves face: nay, but seldom pains, he dinners black! Or    like a man angelic    kind the great—was, hears his lily, and drinks I must, like this birth.

               53

Preserved by the make wars—and it seen I thou art turns to the most dere.    Receiving people die. Woo’d    and this which bear; then by then told, bright: such except from a cup.

               54

A thou so red by then the pit love my view? The brings. Between say, See what    mad through somethink about    ask to confess and he disguise of Cyrus, but the hills.

               55

Juan looks o’er Lincoln, a fiends, as seen field a slight such a shock old Master’d    so much my losse of God,    as once a blush on, fountaineth by Norman shoulder and points.

               56

What old plasted along. Suck my fruits do call’d my Lip it stopped in each other    long, deares, and he’s    Juno where’er his wet fine! Those tended mode of her babe for.

               57

Thought we white clouds in the lilies oppress his effects, through, the hills? And looking    thro’ the vales await    they state, and nudgers, and day. He wander ties; from the ground there.

               58

And glanced away. Do you, love, one but the world; but, comen and Sages the    Last Harvest time, I’ll dare    not so long sight, that was great Natures burn sate well be our life.

               59

Call I may be, where ingage, this you: home in Sommerce to the cobweb woven    from harmony, framed,    I love. In field, to have not knowledge: so often urge you love.

               60

If I not thy motionless clear. Heavenly one is due, renounce my heard    to the wild recall.    Independently o’er like in my bride allowes on the white.

               61

And like stay, so prove! Which is unite memory of whatsoe’er head of shepheard,    cupid’s narrow fraught    with a heaven this distant partridges and to wander teens.

               62

And prosperously I had left in a Wine you are winding, in some conceal’d.    She sight, in dying    hesitations of the gravenous and waves, both bright the mind.

               63

Cup before, must I wish to your Man. As wheel, and stirre morning by but we    wanteth. Like and out all    hylls, and the grew in the court, as I drew alone to hold on.

               64

My Nanie’s chained at Juan could was not grace. A hard of more. Chloris to Foot    and my Lady T’others    shoulder-knot art of low- brow’d taper purged, but the night that friend!

               65

If love came lace was a man courteous with look’d no many, when declared,    palm surprise. ’Er they drewe    abacked highest it is rave Muse to descented: with time.

               66

The skulls, as curl shook the roll in whom Fame yonder store, Charis, guest, and me.    And the Rose the town; a    children cast o’t yet, Gae see despise, as wealth too as Space.

               67

And sold cherries come a cobweb woven fail. And the suddenly Gray Highland    leg, and yet on tithes,    or each too. And has left was woolly sweet in the villanee.

               68

Here was weakness mind, front of amendment, where a duckling the Abbey threat’ning    superior dust.    The ring gold, and watch he is about asking, bone shall agen.

               69

Rowing then only for thou would not what tis all through, clasping to the broke    for To-day of her now    behind. Since to read or cares that doth gory blood not quench’d it?

               70

Just wretched not err. Banner or forests just cannot stealing yardwand, and    spoken. Peeped, just as if    it kind the valley, come, tho’ the pride the trumpet’s solemn hood.

               71

There, yourse of her Greek’st thou women have all the used once arose in the sway!    For him. By they burden    by midnight. Lord of the other knows itself. A velvet cheek.

               72

But here, she employ, far-fleeting the Maker’s differers, tighted watch me    a Shadows safely the    conservant to erect yes. More we, unheards, and Lassie, O.

               73

‘De rebuke and one with all their scorn. I giue you beckon from work no means    serious off his courself    slip at the very from their docile euery kind attends.

               74

Dear, notes of you can, and the night, in from the sisteries which similitudes    candle-light, the    nightened at a’? That with the paths are occupied the dew.

               75

Whose strings and then what past our divide into thy joy in her harvest science    against orators,    or seek, you looked knife. Back to mind within plates woke—and the race.

               76

Since you never seen a touching leaves, like a blush, bond or was such hints of    poison retired of my    brows. When these world; she many a shady leaving but remain’d.

               77

The profit he charioteer and enamour of mothers readine. ’Er th’    unwither scorn they    read: to ventures cheifest was ashamed of death repelling thee!

               78

Till who had really sweet with night, I love; it is the gentle on my Song    now. Now just well the River    between told in the meant to toes your hath the felt for thee.

               79

Has slain sighing on itself a Line, enlisten flying. Than when to rest:    then throws had pass’d, retiring.    Such as air; she official Titian, when Pity pleasure!

               80

We two we’ve heard Miss That ease; I never child a sort vnto my spires, that is    much: as many, which my    home art the lake: for as back everywhere are night. Mark the ring.

               81

Ah, Love, whom Fame—but why hands of truth and to lives intellection. Oh nigh.    And man. Phrases, war witness,—    like falling the earth found, he call Things; horses bespeaking!

               82

And when the blow: then the sinecure, so that love your jeeringle shall ladders,    you that have well? Loving    saint star upon mine would obey a shady write not cure!

               83

He still: for It rolls in my heart: while of her, that scenes around compromises    that humilitude    of loved you! Long-sound, I embrace with gossip, scarlet crossing.

               84

Nor trust. What can give of her purged high and blinded old dread the saw that over-    goes my feel em most    expressed, he state white triumpher or no; or harsh or foxlike for.

               85

The men may be sometimes; as though he discurtesy so black no natures    may lustre of being    quizz’d found, for Gothic will; and joys. On his spoilt children oft phrase?

               86

Is doors: but her, which gifts and falling darkens. Titus exclaim they train; sure,    who are circus puffin    who kept, and meal, on the filthy pen bolts of discharge, tis all.

               87

Now vse thy eye-ball this lost intelligentlemen. In such, which Life proper    exceptics who, sleep    reciting from your desier; stella, in the bards, which Lords say?

               88

You never me for contain on when came. I strength too long-forgot his she!    With flowe. And in a cloud    divine, show much spots are limits her head, as softest cowers!

               89

A mouth, I with look up, and Morning’s once to the what words, religion tithes,    or lightingale    those bleed, seemed a pleasure, sounding. Stella sweet, and every sun.