#if no one else got me i know my nurse ambassador got me

[starshipsandsuperheroes]

i was gonna write a post about how im more burnt out after my break week than i was at any point during the semester thus far and all that stuff but right as i started thinking about that my medication nurse called and i got to talk to her for like five minutes and im normal now

[tinydefector]

Human's effects

More a silly little thing that I had to write out.

Warnings: talks about sex, xenophilia, kinks

Word count: 3k

Masterlist

Next

Human Effects 2 - characters

Request are open

____

There were a lot of things that fascinated the cybertronians over humans. Their size, body types, skin tones and those soft they are. 

So many of them become so fascinated over the fact that such small and fragile creatures don't have plating to protect themselves but only wear soft fabrics. 

And it slowly leads a lot of Cybertronians to realising they were Xenophiles. 

A list of kinks and fetishes cybertronians discovered from it. 

-size kink 

-skin fetish 

- hair pulling 

- silk and ribbon play

- cum inflation 

-breeding

-pet play

- vore

-fluid play and consumption 

- spiking warming

- Heart and spark syncing 

- new spike and Valve modifications to test on their human lover

There's originally a lot of unknowns about humans, and cybertronians are rather intrigued, for one the first times the a lot of the crew of lost light had encountered them was on black market and high priced pets, and companions. 

There were exceptions such as Perceptor, Ratchet and Megatron who had been around humans before but for a lot of the bots this was their first time seeing them. that is until they are assigned a human communications, relations Ambassador/ liaison. 

But after the black market incident it had led a lot of bots into research over humans. And it just spirals more with them discovering some rather dark history with cybertronians keeping humans as playthings. And finding out their ‘interface equipment’ isn't that different from their own, just more organic and smaller.  

A late night of drinking at swerve slowly devolved into conversation over their local human. Brainstorm sits nursing his drink of engex while he and others of the ship chat away. "So does it fascinate anyone else over the fact that humans don't have natural plating or any kind of protection for their squishy form?" He brings up, he himself had fallen down the rabbit hole of human porn but didn't quite know how to breach the subject with anyone else. 

"Oh Primus, look who decided to join us, thought you were holding up with your Conjunx Chrome!" Swerve said with a chuckle, placing more drinks down. He hopped up onto one of the bar stools and leaned in eagerly, His attention flicks to Brainstorm. "You bring up a good point, Brainstorm," Swerve replied.

 "Those squishy humans are really something else, ain't they? No armour, no defences - I'd be scared outta my circuits if I was just soft protoform all the time!, like i’m so surprised squishy hasn't been stepped on yet" 

Rodimus nodded in agreement. "Yet they've managed to survive just fine so far. There's obviously more to them than meets the eye. Like i've seen some of the things our ambassador can do like the strange stretching"

"I dunno," Skids chimed in. "Seems pretty fraggin' reckless if you ask me. One good shot and it lights out!" 

Rewind shuddered. "Ugh, don't remind me. Just thinking about all those organics and tubes and who knows what else squishing around in there makes my fuel tank turn." He made a dramatic churning sound effect.

Riptide laughed. "I saw a nature documentary once about these hairless ape creatures the humans evolved from. Now THOSE guys were squishy."

“What in Primus have you been watching?!” 

“some old earth docs that Percy’s has, bots got a lot of info on Terra and the planet's history” The bots shared a collective laugh at the image. Swerve took a swig of his energon. "Frag, maybe there's something to be said about living on the edge like that! Sure keeps things interesting, its still strange that they are somehow one of the top predators of their planet yet are smaller than half the things they eat"

Brainstorm goes quiet for a moment. "Have you seen how flexible they are?"

Swerve nearly spit out his energon. "Whoa hey, I don't need those kinds of vivid imagery floatin' around my processor thank you very much!, keep the squishy interface vids to yourself" he said, waving his hands animatedly. 

"You have to admit, the way those fleshbags can contort themselves is pretty impressive," Skids added. "Must come in handy for.. maintenance." He waggled his optical ridges suggestively.

Brainstorm nodded pensively. "Indeed. Their non-metal structure allows for feats we could never replicate by ourselves." He took a sip of his energon. "Always makes me curious what other evolutionary adaptations they've developed to compensate for such vulnerability. The potential for scientific discovery is endlessly fascinating with their species and ancestors."

Riptide shrugged. "As long as they don't expect ME to try any of their bone-breaking yoga moves," he laughed. "This chassis is meant for tough stuff, not Twister!"

"You think they would be soft, you know if you interface with one?" Brainstorm asked while downing his drink, the engex was slowly going to his processor loosening his lips. 

"Oh don't give me that look I know for a fact you all have thought about doing with a human at least once! Rodimus I know for a fact you eye them up everytime our little liaison walks past you" He calls out Rodimus. 

Rodimus nearly choked on his energon in an attempt to look innocent. "Wh-what? That's not - I never -" he sputtered in protest, flustered optics darting around at the other bots.

Brainstorm smirked as Rodimus squirmed uncomfortably on the stool. "Oh please, don't try to deny it, Captain. You're about as subtle as a combiner in a supply closet." 

"Roddy's got the hots for squishy, who knew!" Swerve giggled uncontrollably. 

Skids nudged Riptide playfully. "Hey, maybe we got a xenophiliac on the ship!" 

"Alright alright, knock it off you glitches," Rodimus growled, though the blue flush across his face said otherwise. "I was just... curious, that's all. They ARE a strange species."

Swerve tried to contain his laughter. "Ohhh I bet you are more than curious, if you catch my drift!, wanna get up close and personal" More raucous peals of laughter from the group.

Brainstorm stroked his chin in thought. "They do feel intriguingly delicate. I wonder if their flexible frames would be more pleasurable to interface with than our own rigid forms..."

"Have you seen videos of them, they stretch a lot, like a lot, like I know human skin is resilient but i didn't think they were that resilient " Brainstorm states remembering some of the videos he had seen online. Other bots peak up intrigued. 

Swerve choked again as his fuel tank nearly turned inside out. "Brainstorm! That's... more than I needed to visualise, thank you very much." 

Skids seemed a bit less phased. "Fleshbags gettin' their twist on, huh? Can't say I'm not curious now." 

Even Rodimus seemed intrigued despite his earlier protests. "Resilient is an   understatement. I've seen some of the contortions that humans can do - it's astounding that their protoforms don't tear apart." 

Brainstorm nodded enthusiastically. "Precisely! With the right lubrication and technique, I hypothesise an interface with a limber human form would provide entirely novel sensory data."

Riptide shifted uncomfortably. "Not sure I'm ready to dive into the fleshy deep end just yet.”  

Swerve shot him a sly grin. "Aw c'mon Rip, live a little! Where's your sense of adventure?" 

Rodimus tried to steer the subject elsewhere. "Let's maybe change topics before someone needs a wipe down. Or Primus forbid, Magnus overhears you lot"

"I hope I did not hear what my processor just heard" Ultra Magnus states while staring down at the group of drinking mechs. A Lot of bots in the bar snicker at the group getting in trouble. 

"Come on Sir, get that wrench out of you aft, join us!" Skids called out.

Swerve let out an audible squeak at Ultra Magnus's stern tone, almost dropping his engex in panic. "U-Um, Magnus sir! Fancy seeing you here. We were just, uh, discussing..." 

He shot desperate optics at the others for help, but they all seemed to shrink down in their seats under Magnus's disapproving glare. 

Rodimus flashed an uneasy grin. "Just having a friendly debate about alien species, you know how it is. Brainstorm was bringing up some, er, interesting biological points..." 

Ultra Magnus sighed wearily. "I'd rather not know the details, thank you. Some topics are best left undiscussed in public."

The whole bar erupted into laughter at the group's misfortune. "Ah lay off em Magnus!" one patron called out. "They're just havin' fun!"

Another bot piped up. "Yeah, loosen up that rusty chassis and join us! One drink won't hurt." 

Magnus scowled, unamused. But as the encouragement grew louder, he glanced around hesitantly...

Swerve spotted an opening. "C'mon Magnus, live a little! I'll even give you a two-for-one special." He flashed a hopeful grin.

The enforcer grumbled but his resolve was cracking. Against his better judgement, he pulled up a stool. "One drink." Swerve whooped and poured him a double.

They cheer as Magnus sits down to drink with them. Skids speak up. "So brainstorm you saying you'd hook up with a fleshy, get nice and personal with a human" he calls out with a laugh.

Brainstorm leaned forward eagerly. "Why of course! The pursuit of scientific knowledge knows no boundaries. Though upon further review, direct interfacing with an organic might require certain, ah, safety protocols." 

Skids peered at him suspiciously. "Exactly what kind of 'research' are you plannin' on doing Brainy?"

Swerve nudged Riptide with a smirk. "I'll bet ya 20 shanix Brainstorm's just trying to find an excuse to get jiggy with the humies!"

Riptide snorted. "No way, I ain't takin' THAT bet!" 

Rodimus dropped his face in his palms with a groan. "can we PLEASE stop picturing Brainstorm fragging humans?" 

Ultra Magnus coughed on his engex, catching the comment he'd really rather not have heard. 

But Brainstorm paid them no mind, lost in scientific contemplation. "The human capacity for sensory input and feedback would provide a rich study on cross-species interface protocol adaptability..."

"INTERFACE PROTOCOLS?!" Swerve shrieked. The table erupted into howls of laughter at Magnus's deeply uncomfortable expression. It was going to be a LONG night indeed.

“Primus Brainstorm you kinky fragger” 

"Fine then everyone servo up if your not at least somewhat curious or thought about it at least once" Brainstorm calls out to all of Swerve's bars patrons

"Oooh, Brainstorm's putting us all on the spot!" Swerve giggled with gleeful mischief. He raised his servo without hesitation. 

Skids was quick to follow suit, slamming his half-empty glass down. "Frag it, I'll admit it! Those soft squishy bodies got me wonderin' what else they're good for." 

To everyone's surprise, Rodimus sheepishly lifted a servo as well, avoiding optic contact with Ultra Magnus. Riptide shrugged and joined in the show of servos, if only to blend in. 

The majority of bots in the bar started raising their hands amid roars of laughter and drunken encouragement. Only a select few hesitated, shooting nervous glances at Magnus. 

The enforcement officer's expression cycled through outrage, resignation and back to outrage as his gaze swept over the forest of raised servos. "I cannot condone such deviant interest in alien biologies," he protested, voice stiff. 

But as more servos stayed stubbornly aloft, Magnus sagged with a weary sigh. After a long moment, he slowly, begrudgingly raised one massive hand as well. 

The bar erupted into ear-splitting cheers. Swerve howled with glee, banging his fists on the counter. "Look's like we've all got a bit of xenophile in us after all! Even you, Magnus my mech!" 

Magnus buried his faceplate in his servos as Brainstorm cackled maniacally. Once the bar settles back down its Swerve who speaks up with a smirk on his faceplate. "So... which one of you charming mechs are gonna be the first to try and get our lovely Liaison?" He teases. 

Rodimus sputtered into his drink at Swerve's question, flushing brighter. "W-what? I never said anything about actually doing anything!, it's all just fantasies Swerve!" he protested in a hissed tone. 

Skids rubbed his chin thoughtfully. "Hmm, well they do have a cute lil' figure. Bet they'd be a wild ride..." 

Swerve grinned slyly at Rodimus. "Aw c'mon Captain, don't tell me you ain't thought about it at least once! I bet they'd be real fun to break in, get all soft and pliable..." 

Rodimus smacked Swerve upside the helm. "Knock it off!" He shot a pleading glance at Ultra Magnus as if begging for rescue.

But unexpectedly, Brainstorm was the one who spoke up. "While the organic's flexibility is intriguing, directly interfacing could introduce unknown health risks or cultural taboos. Outside the fact our people have kept humans as pets and companions in the past. A more ethical approach would be gaining consent for strictly observational research."  

Riptide frowned. "Not sure the liaison would go for that either Storm" 

Swerve sighed dreamily. "Just imagine wrapping those soft squishy bits all around you though... bet they'd feel amazing..."  

"SWERVE." Magnus's warning tone silenced the cheeky bartender immediately. He turned back to Rodimus with a sigh. "Despite certain... Curiosities, directly engaging an organics  such a manner would be unwise, dangerous even, not to mention our form are much larger and could harm a human."

Rewind nodded gratefully at Magnus, relieved the subject was shifting. But the mischievous glint in Swerve's optic suggested his teasing wasn't over yet. It was going to be a long night indeed.

"Relax Mags I'm just riling these drunk mech up. Unless you're interested in our sweet little ambassador" he teases, making other bots choke on their drinks. 

Ultra Magnus's icy glare could have frozen Swerve's energon. "Need I remind you this conversation is highly inappropriate and unprofessional," he said sternly. 

But to everyone's surprise, Rodimus let out an undignified snort of laughter. "As if Magnus would ever break protocol like that! He'd probably recite the entire Autobot code of conduct while fragging."

The whole bar erupted in howls of mirth at the mental image. 

Swerve was nearly rolling on the floor. "Can you imagine?! 'Paragraph 3, subsection B clearly states interfacing with sentient aliens requires prior diplomatic clearance forms in triplicate!'" he cried in a mockingly stiff voice. 

Skids were wiping away fuel tears. "Primus if MR. RULES AND REGS ever broke the rules, it'd be one for the history archives!" 

Riptide jabbed Skids in the side. "Ten shanix says he'd have them memorising regulations the whole time!" 

"Twenty shanix says they'd run screaming first!" Swerve shot back. 

The bets and ribbing escalated as more mechs joined in. Across the table, Rodimus shoved Magnus playfully. "C'mon Magnus, live on the wild side for once!" 

Magnus's rumbling huff was the only response. Watching his rigid commander finally loosening up filled Swerve with delight. Somehow, some way, he'd find a way to get Magnus to break protocol yet! It was shaping up to be the best night ever.

"Ohhh let's make this fun. I list some bots and you say if you think they would hook up with a human" Riptide states. "Rung, Drift and Ratchet" he calls out the names.

Swerve let out a dramatic gasp. "Ooh spicy!"

"Rung is definitely curious but way too professional. Might let loose over a couple cubes of engex though!" 

Skids broke into hysterics at Riptide's suggestions. "Rung and a HUMAN?! Rung doesn't even touch his OWN interface panel!" 

Rodimus snorted. "Can you imagine? 'My dear, it seems you're experiencing some psychological interfacing blockers. Please, tell me how that makes you feel.'" 

"Drift guy's definitely intrigued by other species, if you know what I mean. Plus he's artsy so he'd probably appreciate the 'aesthetic'." Swerve responds

"Drift might go for it, he's open to new experiences," Rodimus mused with a grin. 

Brainstorm nodded thoughtfully. "Indeed, his spiritual philosophies suggest an openness to cultural exchange that others may lack. I think if he and ratchet weren't together its something he might try" 

"Ratchet. bah! As if that grumpy old rust-bucket would try anything so illogical. Unless she's a doctor too and starts quoting his favourite protocols... then all bets are off!" Skids laughed. 

"Ratchet? Nah, too much of a hard aft. He'd just bitch about human biohazards the whole time," Swerve giggled. 

"Well if Drift was interested I'm pretty sure that mecn could get ratchet to do anything with the bat of his optics" Rodimus remarks.

The table erupted in raucous laughter. Swerve took a playful bow. "Alright bring on the next victims!" 

Riptide rubbed his chin thoughtfully. "Hmm, how about...Tailgate, Cyclonus, and Whirl?" 

Swerve cackled wickedly. "Tailgate would be way too nervous but he'd try for his Conjunx Cyclonus. Cyclonus would 100% use his broody vibes to charm her pants off but only for Tailgate. And Whirl? He doesn't interface, he destroys! So that liaison better watch her interfacing ports around that lunatic!" 

Chromedome interjects stroked his chin thoughtfully. "Tailgate would be way too nervous and shy, I think. He'd probably short-circuit just from holding hands!" 

Riptide nodded. "Cyclonus has always struck me as the kinky type. Wonder if he's into those squishy bits like Brainstorm thinks..."

"Whirl would frag anything that moves," Rodimus interjected with a grimace. "But I don't think an organic would survive the experience!"

Brainstorm stroked his chin. "Indeed, Whirl's interfacing protocol subroutines seem rather...enthusiastic. Consent might be a fleeting concept. Better to observe from a safe distance." 

Swerve shuddered. "Ugh, don't make me picture that psycho getting 'friendly' with a human! I'm tryna keep my fuel down y'know." 

The names continue being dropped. 

 " First Aid! I don't know if the medic-bot's got it in him to break the rules. But I betcha if he did, he'd be real gentle and caring-like. He'd have them feelin' better than new in no time!" 

Skids grinned devilishly. "Yeah but would they feel better? Aid's so straight and narrow I bet he'd put em in stasis lock from boredom!" 

"Now Perceptor on the other hand..." Swerve tapped his chin thoughtfully. "Bookish type, but you know there's a passionate scientist in there waiting to experiment. Think he'd go slow and methodical, really take his time 'exploring the specimen'." 

"his thirst for organic sciences might overpower his good sense," Rewind remarks. 

“optimus prime, Prowl and bumblebee ” Chromedome interjects with his own inquiries. 

Swerve pretended to wipe away exhaust fumes. "Primus help me, this is gonna be good... Optimus Prime is obviously Mister Morality himself, but you know he's got a secret wild side under all that virtue signalling. Just imagine how freaky he could get with some alien nookie!" 

The bar erupted in incredulous, drunken laughter and cheers. Swerve grinned impishly. 

"As for Prowl, I'm telling you that stick up his tailpipe is begging to come out and play. One roll in the berth with a naughty fleshy and he'd loosen up reeeal nice!" 

"And Bee? He's a sweet kid, but you know what they say, it's always the quiet ones! Between his cute lil' face and that tight chassis, he'd have the human lining up to frag that glitch right into stasis!" 

The bar absolutely lost it, bots falling over each other in drunken hysterics. Even Mirage was struggling not to fall off his chair. Swerve took an exaggerated bow as his audience howled. 

"Thank you, thank you! I'll be here all cycle! Now who's ready for the next round?" More shouts and clanking glasses answered his call. It was shaping up to be the wildest night at Swerve's yet!

 Magnus dropping Megatron's name that really sent them over the edge.

"Megatron?! With the liaison?!" Rodimus howled with laughter, nearly spitting out his drink. "That's the funniest thing I've heard all cycle!" 

But Swerve wasn't done. "Megatron? Now THAT'S an image! 'You pathetic fleshbag, you DARE try to mount the great Megatron?! Grovel before my interface array!'" 

Magnus adds more information which makes everyone surprised " He and the ambassador are rather close" He states

Rewind speaks up from Chromedome’s side. "Y'know... they do have a certain chemistry. I'll bet under all that scowling and chipped armour there's a softie just waitin' for the right tender touch to melt his spark. And they have got sass to spare  bet they could handle Megatron's brooding and snarl!" 

"Twenty shanix says he'd have them trembling and beggin' for mercy in no time flat!" Skids bet eagerly. 

"You're on!" crowed Riptide. "But I still think Perceptor's the real dark horse..."

[asterlark]

ok. samwell college of music au. i wrote all four years let's go babey

eric bittle is this lovely southern tenor (sounds kinda like mitch grassi or ben j pierce) who posts covers (& sometimes originals, but always with neutral or no pronouns because he can't post anything that says he or him ☹) on his youtube channel and has major stage fright but is very talented; he also plays ukulele

he got into samwell college of music on a voice scholarship and his dad doesn’t exactly approve but eric was never the 6′2″ masculine football player he wanted anyway so why not go for his dreams

he auditions for the very competitive samwell men’s contemporary chorus (there’s like 20 choirs; chamber choir, jazz choir, a cappella groups (lax bros do a cappella), combined choirs, etc- smcc does contemporary pop/rock music) and while he’s very very nervous and shaky as he auditions, directors hall & murray see a lot of potential in him (with major grumbling from student director jack)

(the rest of this ridiculously long au under the cut)

the group is small, for a chorus, because the point of the group is not a wall of sound but a focus on all of the very talented guys’ voices coming together in these gorgeous harmonies and basically they’re like one of the best choruses on campus and all the male singers want in

so there’s jack zimmermann, who of course eric knows because everyone knows who he is, he’s the son of bob and alicia zimmermann, both incredibly talented and famous musicians, and basically those genes were in his favor because he’s mega fucking talented

(jack was supposed to sign a recording contract to be in a band with his best friend kent parson when he was 17 but something happened between them and the pressure was too much and jack overdosed on something- there’s so many rumors no one knows what’s real- and kent signed solo in LA & went on to win grammys for his albums about a mysterious ex and jack disappeared for a few years to be a counselor at a music camp and reappears at samwell, knocking everyone’s socks off again like he’d never left, except with a renewed vigor and intenseness that freaks everyone out)

jack is a contemporary writing & production major, freaky talented and sings like a modern day frank sinatra, and he plays like 20 instruments and can read music like breathing air and writes songs like if he stopped he’d die; his music is folksy and mournful and he plays all the instruments on his tracks himself- guitar, piano, strings, drums- it sounds like a full band but nope. just jack. he’s intense

“we all get nicknames in this choir,” justin informs eric on his first day, “we’re those kinda guys.” so he’s bitty, which he finds vaguely offensive (bc he’s not that short!) but still cute, & the rest of the group is introduced to him:

“shitty” knight (voice like colyer) is a musical education major and an enigma of a singer with this awesome, earthy, raspy voice that’s really interesting to listen to and a very.... unique style & look; he writes cheesy but shockingly good raps about social justice topics and he will sing-lecture you if you’ve said something offensive (he also plays banjo)

justin “ransom” oluransi is a music business & management major with an angelic voice you can’t help but listen to; he’s sultry and has an incredible range and does runs like nobody’s business (with a voice like daniel caesar or leslie odom jr UGH)

adam “holster” birkholtz is a voice performance major, wants to be on broadway and it’s all he ever goddamn talks about basically, he’s a belter and has a lot of charisma and starpower and he’ll charm the pants off of you within one note; can also play piano and irritates everyone constantly because his regular volume is like a level 11 (voice like the frontman of my brothers and i combined w/ x ambassadors lead singer)

larissa “lardo” duan is at the local art institute because performing arts is not her jam and she’d much rather paint; she’s a barista at annie’s and supervises open mic nights and keeps the annoying choir dudes from driving away all her patrons

“i’m not even in your dumbass choir,” she says when the group gave her her nickname. holster just told her that she was an honorary member and then started sing-shouting a song at her about how good she is

bitty’s first year is hard because he’s talented and he works hard but he shies away when anyone asks him to sing outside the group and like, he can sing to a camera by himself but being on a stage with everyone looking at you and the sole responsibility of the song on your shoulders is terrifying and no thanks

jack does not. understand this. he’s been performing practically since he came out of the womb and he doesn’t really get performance nerves (what he gets is anxiety about how he did after he gets off stage that follows him home and makes it so he can’t sleep) - so he bothers bitty about it constantly like “you just need practice, you just have to sing by yourself a lot and then you’ll get over it” which like.... that’s true but it’s also hella scary and bitty’s like “no thanks!!!!”

but jack’s annoying and intense so he makes bitty do open mic with him every saturday night and it’s going okay and bitty loves his choir and loves his school and these new friends he’s making and he finally feels comfortable enough to come out to them during his second term

then during their spring choral showcase at the end of his freshman year bitty has a solo and he’s worked really hard on it and he’s feeling good- okay he’s completely freaked out but he’s trying to feel good- but when he gets up on stage there’s so many people and the stage lights are so hot on his face and he flips out a little and maybe he passes out from anxiety and stress right on stage and it’s terrible and he’s so embarrassed and ashamed that he ruined their set at the showcase

of course jack blames himself because “we shouldn’t have given you a solo before you were ready, i misjudged it, i’m sorry” - and they all feel kinda bad bc holy fuck they didn’t know his stage fright was that bad like they didn’t know someone could pass out just by being anxious to sing

he practices all the time over the summer and goes to his local open mic at jack’s insistence and it actually helps a lot because instead of a sea of strangers judging him it’s a bunch of people he knows and they’re all smiling at him and when he finishes his song they cheer for him and it boosts his self-confidence a lot

his sophomore year they have three new members- chris ”chowder” chow (voice like ieuan), an excitable music education major with impressive rapping skills, derek "nursey" nurse (frank ocean or leon bridges type), a songwriting major who can also play violin and guitar, and will ”dex” poindexter (like tom west), a production & engineering major who tried out with chowder bc he needed moral support and didn't expect to get in but impressed the directors with his voice

the year’s going pretty good, bitty’s still pretty scared of singing alone but more confident now and the open mic nights with jack haven’t stopped, so he’s getting better. and one night they’re hanging out at annie’s after closing waiting for lardo to be done so they can walk her home, and bitty suggests that jack sing with him one of these nights, and jack says he doesn’t know any of bitty’s songs and bitty says they can write one together half jokingly but then jack is like “yes.” with that Intense Look

SO they get together a couple days later in jack’s room at the house they all live in together (bitty moved in at the beginning of the year after previous smcc member john johnson called him- how’d he get his number?- and told him he could take his room if he wanted), jack with his guitar and bitty with his ukulele, and it’s a little awkward until bitty says jack should play him one of his songs

and, okay, he doesn’t really know what to expect because the only music jack ever released to the public was that one single he did with kent parson when they were 17 so bitty doesn’t even know if he has anything to play him, but he does- he starts playing these soft, sad notes on the guitar and opens his mouth and sings about being lonely and scared and unsure, about false starts and shaky ground and not knowing where you stand with someone, about expectations and lying awake at night and wishing so hard you were someone else, and bitty watches him sing and just kind of... realizes he’s head over heels for this boy and internally Freaks Out a little

he tries to put that aside and they start to write this song, at first it’s weird because jack’s like “all your songs are love songs i can’t really relate to happy love songs” and bitty’s like “listen... i’ve never even had a boyfriend i just write a bunch of sappy love stuff because it’s not about me it’s about whoever’s listening to it, they’re gonna project their own experiences on my music anyway so it doesn’t matter if it’s my real life or not” and jack’s like “alright while fake af that’s smart and i respect you” (what bitty doesn't say is that he writes about what he really wants which is to fall in love & be in a happy relationship)

they say they’re just gonna write this kinda vague sad song but they both secretly write lines about their actual lives so it ends up being really personal and real and raw for the both of them

they sing the song at open mic that saturday and the crowd at annie’s is never that big but they’ve never got a standing ovation here before, and some girl shouts “MAKE AN ALBUM” (it may or may not be lardo) and they both blush furiously and bitty’s like “... that was really nice, jack” and jack’s like “... yeah it was good good job you’re really getting some confidence out there nice work” (bitty: “THAT’S NOT WHAT I MEANT AAAAH”)

around this time jack’s really thinking about what he’s gonna do when he’s done at samwell, talking with his parents and his agent and looking into different record companies and deciding if he wants to sign with anyone or possibly start his own company- the head of a small company called falcon records in rhode island has been talking to him a lot, and jack talks to bitty about how he thinks it’d be nice to start small, and the record exec georgia and the producer marty had both been really nice and welcoming, and bitty’s so happy for him but also just... sad that he won’t be around jack every day after he graduates

THEN at a haus party celebrating their win of a local choral competition, who shows up but none other than pop star kent parson to Ruin The Fun

bitty sees the way jack pales when kent walks in, notices them disappear upstairs together and feels a little sick worrying about jack but chalks it up to the highly alcoholic concoction shitty and lardo had cooked up but nonetheless decides he’s sick of the party and goes up to his room and hears.... a little too much

and YIKES he’s standing right there and kent parson, pop star, two-time grammy winner, is looking a little rumpled and staring right at him and he puts his hat on and clears his throat and snaps at jack- “hey. well. call me if you reconsider. but good luck with rhode island. ...i’m sure that’ll make your parents proud.” and jack’s shaking, and bitty doesn’t know what to do but jack goes back into his room and bitty’s just kind of standing there like What The Fuck

so.... he kind of stews over winter break but tries not to think about it too much and he and jack text a bit and jack tells him to practice and bitty’s like “oh, you” and jack’s like “im serious” and bitty’s like “>:( it’s christmas”

spring semester starts and they're doing well in competitions and they go to semifinals and then finals for a prestigious collegiate choir competition and the pressure is mounting but they all are so optimistic and really feel like they're on the same page and bitty’s confidence is better than ever and then.... they don't win

jack especially takes it very hard, but then he also has signing to worry about, which everyone helps him with and he decides to sign with falcon records and start work on an album after graduation

speaking of graduation, shitty and jack graduate and it's hard for them but harder for bitty who feels like he's losing jack in a way, he knows how intense jack gets when he's making music and it doesn't feel like he'll have any time for bitty anymore so when they say goodbye bitty goes back to the haus and listens to his and jack's song and just cries

but, like in canon, dadbob has words of wisdom to impart and jack has an "oh" moment and races across campus to kiss bitty

they get together and the next few months are spent with jack working nonstop on his album (which tbh, he'd had many of the songs written already so it's mostly recording and producing) and texting bitty constantly and coming to visit him and playing him demos of all the songs

jack also asks bitty if they can record the song they wrote together & have it as a bonus track on his album & bitty says of course, so when jack visits they set up an impromptu studio and record vocals in the guest bedroom and this deeply personal song they wrote before they were ever together means so much more to them now

and bitty is so happy but so scared and sad too because jack is playing him these songs telling him "they're all for you bits, & a lot of them are about you" and he just doesn't know how he's going to keep all this love inside even though it feels like jack's career is at stake

he tries to shove it down and stay strong though, especially since he's now an upperclassman and they're taking on new members- connor "whiskey" whisk (voice like finneas or the male singer in valley), a music business/ management major who seems to hate bitty's guts and tony "tango" tangredi (like chaz cardigan), a jazz composition major who astounds everybody with his endless questions but also his ridiculously impressive composition skills & naturally perfect pitch (he can also play saxophone??)

i want ford in this au so fuck it she is a composition major with dreams to write scores for musicals and she stars training as a barista at annie's (aka training to corral the smcc)

the pressure of it all proves to be a lot and bitty and jack have their hi, honey moment where bitty's like i can't be this deep in the closet!!! and so they tell the smcc and also jack's label that they're together and that eases things a bit

jack's album comes out to much critical acclaim and shouting in the groupchat ("#1 ON ITUNES BRAHHHHH!!!!!!!!") and several months later, when smcc has already been eliminated from choral competition in an earlier round, jack is nominated for SEVERAL grammys including best album, song of the year, and best new artist

when the time comes he takes his parents and bitty on the red carpet which, everyone keeps being like "who are you here with jack?" and he's like "my family and my good friend :)" and yes it is awkward

jack wins... all three awards. it's the comeback everyone is stoked to see and when his third win is announced, he and bitty are so elated that they kiss before he goes to accept the award

his speech is basically just "um... wow. thank you. i just kissed my boyfriend on live tv. this is amazing and i'm so humbled. i'd like to thank my boyfriend and georgia and marty and my parents and my friends and my boyfriend"

obviously the press has a FIELD DAY with this but bitty & jack are honestly vibing and so happy that it doesn't matter untiiiillll bitty's mom calls and he has to tell her "mama i'm gay and i'm going on tour with jack this summer okloveyoubye"

the last few months of bitty's junior year pass quickly and he's voted student director which is a huge honor considering how much he struggled with stage fright and confidence & how he'll now be stepping into ransom & holster's shoes

r&h and lardo all graduate (the smcc basically crashes the art school graduation and all scream when lardo gets her diploma lmao), which is a bittersweet occasion and they all do a bit of tearing up

that summer bitty goes on tour across the u.s. & canada with jack and his touring band (snowy is a bassist, tater is a drummer and poots does backing guitar, he also brings nursey to play violin on a few songs) as well as georgia who's there to manage logistics

and tour is so fun & chaotic with many bi and rainbow flags in the audience that end up thrown on stage and draped around jack's neck and they spend so many nights in the bus drinking and laughing and fooling around on the guitars and bitty's uke and exploring new cities bitty has never been to before and it's the freest bitty has felt in a long time

summer ends though, and jack leaves for the uk/europe leg of the tour, and with the new school year brings a few new members- river "bully" bullard (voice like gregory alan isakov), a music therapy major who draws his own cover art for his songs, lukas "louis" landmann (like jr jr), an electronic production and design major with a penchant for EDM, and johnathan "hops" hopper (like keiynan lonsdale), a film scoring major who wants to write music for movies and video games

bitty meets and befriends some of the other student directors- shruti, sd of the women’s contemporary chorus; sharon, sd of the chamber choir; and edgar, sd of jazz ensemble (even chad l., sd of the all-male a cappella group)

senior year passes similarly to the comic; coach visits and sees one of bitty’s competitions, jack comes to madison for christmas, smcc does well in competition and goes to regionals etc

however… bitty keeps putting off and putting off gathering the songs for his senior recital

he has a hard time doing that because he’s so focused on the group and making sure they’re performing well and as they advance in competition, everything else starts to fall away

eventually the rest of the smcc has to lock away his uke and change his youtube password and FORCE him to choose songs for it and start preparing because he cannot graduate without doing this recital and doing well on it

he chooses (of course) a beyonce song, a few of his own songs, an ellie goulding song, and an adele song

with all that his breath hitches and his hands shake before he goes on stage, he does really well and his voice instructor prof atley tears up a little in the audience as does his mom

meanwhile smcc goes to semifinals, then finals, of the national collegiate choral competition they participate in

and i imagine bitty faces somewhat less homophobia in this au because i mean, he’s in the performing arts, but i think it’s still there and he also faces a good amount of classism from richer students and performers who think they’re better because they had the resources and money to be performing professionally from a very young age, and he has been practicing via filming himself on a shitty camcorder and posting it to youtube

but they still get there! and the national finals are fucking HUGE and a big deal and a little overwhelming

bitty’s stage fright is Present because this is the biggest stage and the biggest stakes he's ever had and he has a big solo in one of their songs so if he fucks up, he fucks up a national championship for his whole group and school

luckily though, when he steps on the stage with his best friends and sees his boyfriend and family and smcc alums in the audience and they perform their first song, a high-energy pop medley that always gets the crowd going, everything seems to melt away and it's just him living in this moment and singing his heart out

when it gets to the next song and his solo, he forgets to be nervous and belts it out, getting screams of approval from the audience when he finishes

(dex and nursey do have a duet together that they had to practice for many long nights in the practice rooms alone but that's neither here nor there)

their time on stage seems to last both hours and no time at all and then they're done, the crowd gives them a standing ovation and it's at least 30% r&h & shitty's hooting and hollering and jack's enthusiastic clapping that makes bitty & the others beam with pride

then it's just waiting, giddy and nervous beyond belief in their green room, for the judging to be over

after what feels like forever they're back on stage, arms linked together waiting and hoping for their name to be called and it is, they win and it feels like years have built up to this moment, and bitty tears up because years ago when he was fainting from anxiety at having to perform in front of people he never could've imagined that he'd do this, that he'd be the student director that led them to a championship

they get the trophy and a ridiculous amount of flowers from their loved ones and they all are just in giddy disbelief that this is happening, they're national champs!!! they are the best choir boys in the nation!!

they come home and the rest of the school year passes by so quickly that it's very suddenly graduation and bitty can't believe his college career at samwell is over 😢

(he and ollie and wicky take pictures together, o&w talk about how excited they are to devote full time attention to their band & wedding planning and bitty's just like wait you're gay??)

bitty got plenty of offers from record companies but he likes his freedom of creativity and he has a built in fanbase from doing youtube all these years so he decides to make an album independently (jack helps him produce & master it 🥰)

when bitty's album comes out about a year later, full of bops about being gay and in love and having struggled but come out the other side more confident than ever, it doesn't get any grammy nominations- and he didn't expect or need that.

what it does do is it resonates. it makes the rounds in youtube and queer internet circles; people his age reach out to him saying this is the music they wish they had as a kid and kids reach out to him saying he's a role model and they're so glad to have his music to listen to. his album is written about as an underrated gem that shines with queer brilliance and is sure to start a party when it comes on.

his parents may not fully understand the road he's chosen for himself but they're still so proud and promote the album as hard as any of his loyal fans (especially the one country-inspired song on the album that he wrote and dedicated to them).

and jack, jack who saw this album from its infancy to its release date, who took the film photo that ended up being the album cover, who worked with bitty to make sure his vision was realized exactly how he wanted it to be, is proud beyond words.

jack starts using his semi-abandoned twitter again to tweet "stream [album name]" every day and bitty retweets them sometimes, with just a "this boy. ❤"

and they're happy. they're good. they have come so far and they are reaping the rewards of all the hard work they put in to make the music that they truly love.

the end :)

[pagetgram]

Paget Brewster in Criminal Minds “Minimal Loss” 4.03  Promo Photo

Criminal Minds' Paget Brewster Gets a Devil of a Storyline  (Article Below)

This week on CBS' Criminal Minds (Wednesdays at 9 pm/ET) Paget Brewster steps front and center when a rogue priest conjures up demons from Prentiss' past. Brewster gave us a preview of the episode, as well as mooned over upcoming guest star Alex O'Loughlin. 

Matt Mitovich - March 10, 2009, 6:55 p.m. PT

This week on CBS' Criminal Minds (Wednesdays at 9 pm/ET), Paget Brewster steps front and center when a rogue priest conjures up demons from Prentiss' past. Brewster gave us a preview of the episode, as well as mooned over upcoming guest star Alex O'Loughlin.

TVGuide.com: I hear we're getting a healthy helping of Prentiss this week.

Paget Brewster: Oh my god, it was exhausting! [Laughs] When you're on an ensemble show and you're messing around with everybody every day and you're not in every scene, and then all of a sudden you're in every scene, it's rough. I would not want to be Hugh Laurie.

TVGuide.com: The episode is titled "Demonology" and it says, "Prentiss has a personal connection to one of the victims in a series of deaths with religious overtones." Man, you can almost hear the thunderclap in the background.

Brewster: Basically we discover that a priest is performing exorcisms outside of the church guidelines. Bruce Davison plays a Catholic priest we go to for advice, and he tells us, "Hey, the church knows it's done, but there are certain guidelines you have to follow," and this "renegade" isn't doing that. The question becomes, "Is this guy actually chasing a demon or is this guy a serial killer?" If we get this guy, are we stopping someone from doing a good thing?

TVGuide.com: Bruce Davison is always a fun guest star.

Brewster: That guy is so much fun. One day he asked me, "Are you Brewster as in William Brewster from the Mayflower?' I said, "Yeah, how would you know that?" It turns out that my [ancestor] nursed his through influenza, at Plymouth! He gave me the book Mayflower, so I'm sending him The Wordy Shipmates by Sarah Vowell.

TVGuide.com: Might "Demonology" change the way we look at Prentiss?

Brewster: Possibly. She has a past and it's a little controversial, as to how she knows this victim, a friend of hers from when she was a teenager in Rome. She asks Hotch, "Can I look into this?" And then she uses her position as a federal agent questionably in seeking out the truth. And there is something that happened to her as a kid that..... Well, it's risky what they wrote. We'll see how people respond.

TVGuide.com: Speaking of Prentiss' past, will we ever learn more about her mother, the ambassador?

Brewster: What's kind of exciting is that at any time, the writers can create more history. But there's nothing else this season involving my mom, who is, of course, Kate Jackson.

TVGuide.com: There was an episode last season where Prentiss offered to become the guardian to a young victim. Do you think we'll revisit her desire to have children?

Brewster: I do, yeah. A lot of the female agents who we have spoken to, they work all the time, and they have a hard time just dating. It's an interesting conundrum. Do they choose this life where they're constantly working and dealing with the darkest side of humanity? All we've ever heard about Prentiss' dating life is, "It's grim out there." [Laughs] But that's what we hear from the female agents we talk to.

TVGuide.com: Of course, a band of fans want her to hook up with Hotch.

Brewster: I know! I didn't realize that fans make these videos on YouTube? A.J. Cook sent me a hilarious one that made it look like Prentiss and J.J. were having a secret lesbian affair. You know, when Hotch was blown up in the SUV, we shot this scene where he's in the hospital and I'm standing next to him, looking at his bleeding ear. Our director came in and said, "Paget, you're looking at Hotch like you're in love with him. It looks really weird." So now, every day, Thomas [Gibson] and I flutter our eyelids at each other.

TVGuide.com: Tell me about some of the guest stars still to come this season.

Brewster: Well, in this episode, I got the best of the best. In addition to Bruce, James Remar (Sex in the City) plays the father of the victim, and Walton Goggins (The Shield) is playing my childhood friend....

TVGuide.com: Have you shot the episode with Alex O'Loughlin (Moonlight) yet?

Brewster: Oh, Alex.... Alex sets all the girls into a twitter. Various departments were vying for Alex's attention. We just finished that this past Saturday morning, at 5:30 am.

TVGuide.com: Did Prentiss get a "moment" with Alex?

Brewster: No, No.... Prentiss had no moments with Alex! [Laughs] He's a cutie-pie! There's a little kid, Jake Cherry (Desperate Housewives), in that episode, and he's amazing too. All our guest stars are extraordinary, which we need to remember. We're there every day, and we have long-standing jokes with the crew, so we need to remember there is someone standing next to us, acting [as if] they're about to die or their child has been murdered. They're working up all this emotion, and we're hiding fart machines from each other. We're the most childish set, and we love it!

TVGuide.com: Are there plans for another explosive season finale?

Brewster: I haven't heard anything yet. We're doing 26 episodes, and most shows do 22, so we should have finished two episodes ago. It's a grind.

TVGuide.com: You need to stop being so damn good!

Brewster: [Laughs] We're just trying to make it to the finish line. I'm sure [the finale] will be shocking, but I don't know if they can blow us up again. They only did that last year so none of could ask for a raise!

[ikeromantic]

A Very Hot Bath

A (not so) mini-fic for @cinnamon-hoe featuring my favorite gentleman vampire, le Comte de Saint-Germain. For my 400 follower celebration! It turned out longer and smuttier than intended. I’m . . . sorry? Approx 2000 words.

April, le Comte, Spicy and Sweet

If there was one thing le Comte knew, it was how to read a woman’s moods. And his mademoiselle was an easy study. For example, today, she lingered at each shop window and walked slowly, a clear sign that she wasn’t ready to go home despite the dreary rain and chill weather. “Ma cherie,” he said, leaning down to speak so that he didn’t need to raise his voice above the patter of the rain on their umbrella. 

“Mmm?” 

“This weather is certain to get worse. If you want to stay in town a bit longer, perhaps a cafe?” 

She smiled. “A cafe would be nice. Hot tea, something sweet . . .” 

“I knew you’d agree.” He stroked her hand with his thumb. He pretended to consider his next idea, though he’d already decided on it. “After, let’s get a room. There’s a lovely home in this district that once belonged to a friend of mine.”

“Do you think it will be alright to leave everyone on their own for a night? Without you there to keep them in line . . .” She laughed. 

Comte grinned. “Sebas will hold the fort while we enjoy our evening. Besides, it’s been too long since I had you all to myself.” His golden eyes were molten hot when he spoke, testament to the truth of his words.

“I’d like to - to have you all to myself too.” She turned her head to kiss his cheek, but he was too quick for her. He caught her lips in a kiss, pulling her tight against him. She gave a breathy moan, silenced by his mouth, that made him want her more. Perhaps she wasn’t the only one that hadn’t wanted to go home today.

When he finally released her, she was breathless, glassy-eyed, and pink-cheeked. “We’re in public,” she gave a half-hearted protest, belied by the way she leaned closer and licked her lip. 

“That is why I stopped when I did.” He smiled. 

She gave a little pout and turned back to look in the shop window. “Is this where you got my little purse? The beaded one?”

Comte nodded. “It is.”

“Can we go in? I’d love to see what they out for this season. If - if that’s alright. We don’t need to buy anything.” 

His cherie was always so worried about what he spent on her, as if somehow she could dent his wealth. He’b buy the entire shop just to see a smile on her face. “As you like, ma belle.” 

They went in and handed off their coats and umbrella to the doorman. The shop owner recognized le Comte and came out to greet him, stumbling over his courtesies. Comte did his best to put the man at ease while his love wandered the shop, looking first at the ready-mades and samples, and then at the material samples. 

Despite her insistence that they not buy anything, he kept an eye on where she lingered and what she touched. A woman could never have too many purses. After he reassured the shop owner that, of course he would be placing an order - he hurried to her side.

“Did you see these,” she asked, pointing to some delicate red beads. “They are garnets but they look like drops of blood when they catch the light.” She shivered and touched her neck. 

Comte didn’t miss the spot her fingers found. The last little love-nip he’d given her faded there, barely visible even to his keen eyes. “I think they’d look gorgeous paired with your ivory gown.”

She shook her head. “No - it’s just- there are so many beautiful things and I just like to look at them. It makes me happy just to see them.”

“That must be why I can’t take my eyes off you. There is nothing more beautiful anywhere in this world.” He took her hand and ran his fingertip along her wrist, tracing the vein beneath. He could feel the warmth of it there through her skin. 

Her eyes closed for a breath at his touch. “Ah, you can’t say things like that.” She laughed softly. “Besides, I’m not anything special. I’m glad you think so though.”

Comte kissed the tip of her nose. “You are humble too.”

Her tummy growled at exactly that moment, and she blushed crimson from the neck up. “Ah, and hungry? How far is it to that cafe?”

“It’s close. Why don’t you get your coat and the umbrella. I’ll be along in a moment.”

“You aren’t buying me anything, are you?”

“Ma cherie! You wound me.”

Her look told him she wasn’t buying that bland denial.

“I promise that I will not purchase these beads for you. A direct promise - and you know I don’t break my word.” He kissed her hand. “Now hurry along. I need a word with the shop owner.”

She raised an eyebrow but lost the expression when his lips touched the skin on the back of her hand. If there was another thing le Comte knew how to do, it was how to make his belle giddy. And he enjoyed doing it.

After she hurried over to get their things, Comte placed an order for a new purse and matching shoes using the brocade she’d lingered over and some matching blue beading and pearls. It would look gorgeous with the dress he’d commissioned for their country trip. 

Comte was nearly done with the specifications when a shout got his attention. The door to the shop was open, a young gentleman on his way in. But his love was darting out into the rain. He hurried after.

“I’m so sorry, monsieur. When I opened the door, the lady’s umbrella caught a gust of wind. She’s run after it . . .” The gentleman looked perplexed. 

“Yes, she’s quite impulsive,” Comte smiled. It was one of the things he loved about her. She didn’t plan or plot - she rushed headlong into life, full of joy and hope. It made her even more beautiful.

“That poor girl will be soaked to the bone,” the gentleman sighed. “If you know her, can you pass on my apology?”

“Of course,” Comte grabbed his coat and swept past. Outside, the rain was still falling in tiny chill droplets, the kind that made quick work of even heavy wool. They got under it and soaked you through, right down to the soles of your feet. 

He could see her a little way down the street, running after the umbrella as the wind tugged it along. Her hair was already stuck to her scalp and her clothes were dripping. It took him only a moment to catch up. 

“Quick, Comte! Catch it,” she shouted, pointing. 

It was too late though. An updraft between buildings caught the fabric and the umbrella shot up and caught on a roof tile. 

She turned and looked at him with big eyes. “I lost our umbrella.”

“It’s alright, ma cherie. Our lodgings are close.” Comte lifted her up and tugged his overcoat up to cover her head. “How is that? Are you a little drier?”

“Mmm, I don’t know about dry but you are so warm.” She slid cold hands against his chest and snuggled close. 

Comte smiled. “And you are very cold. I should hurry or you’ll get sick. Then I’ll be forced to nurse you back to health.” 

“Promise?”

He laughed. “I don’t know, ma belle. If you are looking forward to it, I should threaten you with something else. I don’t want you to get sick.” 

Ahead, he could see the lights of his friend’s estate - though it was now a waystop for ambassadors and dignitaries, and his friend long dead. He knocked at the door, and when it opened, they were ushered in.

Given their soggy state, the staff wasted no time getting them into a fine room and drawing a hot bath. The maid offered to stay for any needs they might have, but Comte shooed her out. And then he was finally alone with his dearest. 

She was shivering in her wet clothes, bare feet burrowed into plush carpet. Her teeth were chattering, though she tried to hold them still with a clenched jaw. Such a stubborn beauty. 

Comte crossed to her. “Come now, let’s warm up.” He undid the tie on her flange and let the little capelet fall to the floor. Then began on the buttons, his fingers moving swiftly down.

“I c-can d-d-do it m-myself,” she chattered, and reached for the buttons. 

Ever the gentleman, Comte dropped his hands. “As you like, ma cherie.” He gave her a wide smile, one reminiscent of the predator that he was beneath the civilized veneer. “I am eager to see you without.”

She blushed and began to undo the buttons on her own. Her cold-numbed fingers were much too slow for le Comte’s liking but he was a patient man. Most of the time.

Instead of watching her, he saw to his own soggy clothes. His jacket and vest, his scarf. He undid his shirt and draped it on a chair to dry. Then he began to unbuckle his belt but stopped at a breathy gasp from his beauty. Comte looked up to see her wide-eyed and watching him. 

The hungry look in her eyes would have made any predator proud. As if she was considering eating him up. 

“Ma cherie?” 

She blushed and looked down. “S-sorry. I didn’t mean to stare.”

“You misunderstand, ma belle.” He closed the distance between them and lifted her chin to look her in the eye. “I want you to watch. You looked like you were enjoying it.”

She licked her lips and nodded. “Y-yes, but -” 

He stepped back and finished with the buckle. Then with a duelist’s grace, he slipped his trousers off and set them on the chair. All that remained between him and the open air was a thin layer of cotton. Comte crooked a finger. “Ma cherie? Perhaps you could help me with this drawstring?”

“H-help?” She looked down at her slip, the last bit of clothing between her and the hot bath. I - I was about to -”

“I’m terrible with these knots.” Which was, of course, a lie. An egregious one. If she refused, it gave him plenty of space to laugh it off. But she didn’t. She walked forward and reached toward him tentatively. Her hands slid down his chest, caressing his belly and sides. Stopping at the top of his hip. It sent an electric shiver through him and suddenly, he very much wanted the rest of their clothing off. It put too much space between them. Entirely too much.

Her fingers slipped under the top hem, pushing the fabric down. 

The sensation made Comte gasp. “My bold cherie!”

“Mmmm, turns out I’m bad with knots too,” she teased. Her fingertips danced over his low belly, stopping just above the rise of fabric and below his belly button. She slid her other hand over the top of the fabric and he groaned. “I’m not sure I can take these off you . . .”

A true gentleman, Comte reflected, would take the teasing with a sigh. But he was no true gentleman. He reached for the tie and in a heartbeat, that last shred of fabric dropped to the floor. He could feel her cool, silk slip against his belly and before he could consider it, Comte had tugged it off her and tossed it away.

“I thought you were a patient man,” she giggled.

“Not when it comes to you, ma belle.” He pulled her against him, his hot flesh to her cold skin. Even like this, she felt of heaven to him. The closest to the divine he’d ever reached. He wanted to be in her, to devour her, to taste every part of her. 

Comte’s hands cupped her and lifted her up, hip to hip. 

She threw her arms around him, still laughing. “What will you do to me now, you beast?” 

“Nothing you don’t want me to,” he purred. He might have said more, but she nipped the skin at his neck and suckled it. An imitation of the vampire’s kiss. It destroyed what was left of his composure, though he had enough control to carry her to the bath and climb into it. 

Hot water splashed over them as he sat, holding her tight in his lap. She gasped at the sensation, the sudden warmth and wetness. Then she grinned at him wickedly. “Should I be your bath maid, noble sir? I can wash your back. And all your hard to reach places.” One of her hands went under the water, seeking - and finding - his achingly hard shaft. 

Comte inhaled sharply at her touch - and her boldness. “I - I,” he cleared his throat, trying to hold to words and coherency. “I think . . . we shall . . . be much d-dirtier . . . in this b-bath.”

She raised an eyebrow. “A dirty bath? You’ll have to show m-”

Her speech stopped mid-word as he leaned forward and took a nipple in his mouth, scraping it lightly with his teeth before suckling and stroking with his tongue. If she wanted to find out how filthy bathtime could be, he had every intention of teaching her. In detail.

[suchalonelysunflower]

“Unsteady”

(Ashton Irwin X fem!Reader || Angst)

Summary: Based on the song “Unsteady” by X Ambassadors. You and you husband Ashton, got into an accident. As the months pass, Ashton is starting to lose hope.

Warnings: ANGST, mentions of Drunk Driving, hospitals, coma, accidents (kinda explicit) panick attack, a lot of crying, swear words, death, blood, violence, overall sadness, bad English (not my first language, my apologies)

Word Count: 3.9k

A/N: here I am with another Ashton Angst. Hope you like it 🦋 and remember that reblogs and likes always help and feedback and comments are always welcome! I would love to hear your thoughts 💙 You can check my other works HERE.

”Hold

Hold on

Hold on to me

'Cause I'm a little unsteady

A little unsteady”

‘Her hand is too cold’ Ashton thought ‘She must be very cold’

You were lying in the hospital bed, unfazed. Ashton knew you couldn’t feel anything, at least that’s what the doctors told him. But he couldn’t help but wonder if you were cold. If you could feel your skin becoming more like ice every second but were unable to ask for a blanket.

He would give you the sun if you asked.

But you couldn’t.

Ashton hasn’t heard your voice in over three months, and damn, how he missed it. He misses you, all of you. He often wondered what he’d do if when you open your eyes. Would he cry? Kiss you? Pass out? He didn’t know. All he knew is that he’ll be the happiest man on earth once you did.

But your hands were cold against his. Your body numb in the bed. And he was by your side, unmoving.

The nice nurse came in, he liked her and knew you would too, once you meet her “It’s four already” she said, smiling kindly to Ashton. He nodded and stepped aside to let her work.

He became familiarized with the routines pretty quickly. He memorized the medicines, the sounds of the machines attached to your body, every single technicality. Ashton always hated not to know, so he spent many nights next to you studying everything he could so he’ll be up to date. It became his life mission to make sure you were treated correctly and that you were safe.

“Her hand is cold” he muttered

“Okay, I’ll make sure to bring something warm for her when I come back” the lovely nurse smiled. Ashton breathed a small ‘thank you’ as she left, taking his usual spot in the chair next to your bed, holding your hand.

“You will love her” he said to you. He read that talking to you could be helpful, since you could probably hear him “She’s very nice to us, to you. And she has that ‘loving granny’ energy you talk about. I don’t know if she’s a grandma, though. She’s probably around 52… you would know better. You always do”

His eyes landed on your face, you look beautiful as always, but you didn’t move a muscle. Ashton squeezes your hand, waiting for a reaction of any kind, but getting nothing as a result. He felt the tears coming back, they haven't left since that night, and his voice broke as he tried to hold them.

“Baby, please come back” he pleaded “I - I know you’re trying to fight when you feel like flying. I know you’re there, Y/N. Please, hold on to me. Come back to me” breaking down as he couldn’t contain the tears any longer, he whispered ”I - I miss you”

“Ashton, you can’t be serious” You said giggling.

You were coming back home after a concert. The last concert of tour and you were ready to have your husband all by yourself again. You looked at Ashton as his smile spreaded through his face, making all of his dimples pop out and your heart flutter. His hands were on the wheel, but his eyes kept drifting from you to the road.

“I mean it!” He said with a laugh “Don’t tell me you didn’t think the same thing when you saw them!”

“I did, I’m not gonna lie” you admitted “But do you think we are ready? I mean, a kid is a lot more responsibility than some plants in the garden”

It was not the first time the ‘baby conversation’ popped out. But it was always dismissed, stating that neither of you were ready for that yet. Tonight, however, one of Michael’s friends brought her baby backstage and your mommy instincts kicked in. You were pulled towards that baby like a magnet, impossible to deny how cute they were, specially in a little 5SOS hoodie customized to their size. Ashton saw from a distance how good you were with that little baby that he felt the need to have one of your own. Falling in love with the thought of you being a wonderful mother to your child.

“I know that, but think about it, love. The tour’s over, the boys and I already decided to take a little break before starting to work on a new album, we all want to dedicate some time to our families, so I’ll be around for anything you need. Not to mention that we are financially stable and completely in love” Ashton grabbed you hand and brought it to his lips, kissing it gently “Plus, think how beautiful you’ll look with a baby bump”

“Yeah, all bloated and irritable”

“Still beautiful” He fixed his eyes on you, still smiling “Look, if you’re not ready then we can wait but -“

“Let’s do it.”

“What?”

“I said, let’s do it. Let’s try for a baby”

Ashton’s eyes gleamed under the night sky as he looked at you with adoration. You were both smiling like fools. It was decided then, you were going to have a baby! You were so immerse with happiness at that moment,, maybe that’s why you didn’t see the car heading towards you.

“You should go home for a bit, mate” Michael said as he placed his hand on Ashton’s shoulder. He didn’t move.

It was visiting hours, Michael, Luke, Calum and their girls came today. They always do. Making Ashton company as he patiently waits for you next to your bed.

“I’m fine”

He really wasn’t. His hair was a mess, he had dark circles under his eyes and he can’t even remember the last time he ate a proper meal or took a real shower. But he didn’t care. All of his attention was on you, all of his hopes, his prayers, his pleads, all came back to you and the chance that you’ll open your eyes.

“You’re not fine, Ashton,” Michael pleaded again, but got no response from him “Look at me” He squeezed Ashton’s shoulder, turning Ashton around to look him in the eyes. The same hazel eyes that a few months ago were filled with love and spark, that now were empty and sad “You need to go home”

“But-“

“Go home, Ash. If not for you then do it for Y/N”

Ashton was taken aback. Michael never spoke with such authority as he did at that moment. He knew he was right but still he couldn’t leave you.

“Mike and I will stay with her” Luke said “Visitors hours don’t end until two hours from now. That’s enough time for you to grab some things from home”

“And for goodness sake, take a shower” Cal intervened.

“We’ll be here and we’ll call you if anything happens. But you can’t take care of her if you don’t take care of yourself, you were hurt too”

Ashton felt like he was being cornered by his three best friends. They were right, of course they were. But this was harder that it seemed and he didn’t know if he was ready to face it.

“I- I can’t” he mumbled looking down, feeling three pairs of eyes on him “I can’t go home without Y/N,, I don’t think I’ll be able to take it”

A pitiful look was exchanged between the three men. All of them hurting for him, for you.

“I’ll go with you, mate. You don’t have to go alone” Calum said, extending his hand to his best friend, helping him getting up.

When they reached the parking lot, Ashton tossed his keys to Calum, not saying a word. He was not ready to sit behind the wheel again. So Calum drove them through the familiar streets of LA, back to an empty house that was once filled with songs.

Ashton held his breath when he opened the door and stepped in. It was all too familiar but at the same time so strange. Everything was like the way you left it, the news paper on the kitchen table, next to the glass of wine you didn’t get to finish. The pair of shoes you decided to change at the last minute were still by the door and your perfume invaded the house as a ghost. Every inch of this house had your presence in it, but you were nowhere to be found.

Calum placed his hand on Ashton’s shoulder, something they all seem to be doing a lot lately, as he took in the empty house “Take all the time that you need” and he did.

Ashton walked through the deserted halls, stopping in front of his and your room. He placed his hand on the doorknob but didn’t have the heart to open it, knowing you won’t be there waiting for him like each night. He felt the tears coming up again and his breathing was uneven. It took all of him to step away from the door and head towards the guest room. At least he knows it won’t smell like you.

After a much needed shower, he went to the basement. The basket filled with laundry was still there, you told him you lost track of time and forgot to put it back up. He was glad you didn’t. Ashton grabbed a few shirts and jeans and put them in a bag, he also put a few of your clothes in there, thinking you’d feel more comfortable once you wake up. He couldn’t ignore the pain of smelling your perfume so close to him after so long. He didn’t want to.

He was about to head out when he walked by his music room. The door was open, so he was able to catch a glimpse of a few books you recommended him, but that he never had the chance to read. Maybe he could read them to you, he thought.

Stepping into the room he found thousands of papers scattered around the coffee table. Bunch of scratches and unfinished songs he was ready to show you.

It wasn’t a secret that you were Ashton’s muse. Every song he wrote was inspired by you in every possible way. And you were his number one fan, always encouraged him to do what he loves and to do better by himself. Always taking care, not only of him, but of everyone else. No kindness in the world could compare to yours, no love in the world could compare to yours and now…

Where were you? Why? How could this happen? Why you?

A million questions ran through Ashton’s head, making his senses go black as he ripped apart every piece of paper he could find. Not really paying attention to the damage he was causing as he threw everything in his way. Glasses, picture frames, drumsticks, the drums themselves… all for what? What did it matter? How could anything matter if you were not there?

Calum heard the thundering sounds and cries of his best friend and ran to him. But, to his eyes, it was almost impossible to describe the broken scene that played before him.

Ashton was crying out of rage, sadness, hopelessness and some relief. Letting it all out as he trashed the music room that was once a comfort for him. The tears were mixed with his sweat, grunting and panting as he destroyed every piece of himself in that room.

“Ash!” Yelled Calum as he stepped into the chaos, trying to reach his friend “Ash-Ashton!” He managed to dodge a few pieces of glass and plastic from the broken drum kit.

He reached him mid rage, grabbing his fisted hands with all the strength he could use “Ashton fucking stop! You need to stop!”

Ashton froze as he opened his eyes and found Calum staring at him in fear. Trembling and falling to this knees, he found himself unable to stand on his feet. Tears streaming down freely.

“She’s gone” he sobbed. Completely broken.

Calum let his guard down, softly saying “She’s not gone, Ash. She’s not gone” He grabbed the tall man and pulled him into a hug. Ashton didn’t put on a fight as he let himself be comforted by his friend “She’s going to be fine. You hear me? She’ll be okay”

“We were supposed to start a new chapter together. We- we were going to start a family and… it all happened so fast, Cal”

He cried even harder “Cal, I don’t remember if it was my fault”

“You were hit by a drunk driver, none of this is your fault”

“I should’ve paid more attention! It should’ve been me! I should be the one in the fucking hospital bed”

It was all too much. It all hurt too much. It’s just,, it wasn’t fair. You didn’t deserve this, being connected to a machine, fighting to stay alive when he was the one driving the car. Three months without opening your eyes, without hearing your laughter, or your off key singing. He would do anything just to feel your arms around him one more time, to hear your voice saying that everything was going to be okay. He needed you. He needed you desperately. How could he live without you when you were all he knew? How could he sing about love when you’re not here to hear it?

“This house doesn’t feel like a home without her” He sobbed “I- I don’t know what I’ll do, I can't lose her”

“You won’t” Said Calum, fighting his own tears when the image of you fighting for your life came to mind. But he knew he had to stay positive, for Ashton, for everyone “We won’t lose Y/N, she will wake up”

“Cal, I -“ whispered Ashton in a broken voice “I don’t think she will”

“Y/N?!”

Darkness. Everything was dark and everything hurts. Where was he? Why,, why couldn’t he move?

It took him a second to figure out that you were upside down, still inside of the car. He called your name one more time, but there was no answer. His eyes needed to adjust, he needed to find you. But then..

“A-ash?”

Your voice was weak. Barely even a whisper filled with pain.

“Y/N?!” Ashton called, his hand immediately trying to get to yours. He didn’t care about the broken pieces of glass and concrete that cut through his skin, he just needed to hold your hand “It’s okay, you’re okay”

“Ash” you cried in pain. Squeezing his hand, trying to hold onto something real “I can’t move. Everything hurts”

“Don’t move, Love. Don’t move until they come for us, okay? They’re going to help you. You’ll be okay”

Ashton tried to remain calm for you, soothing your cries by running circles in your hand. “Just hold onto me, baby. Hold my hand. We’re gonna get through this, okay? We are going to be fine”

You could only cry in response. Every ounce of pain hitting you from different parts. It was almost intolerable, but Ashton tried his best to comfort you and you got lost in the sound of his voice, starting to drift away.

“Don’t let go, Y/N. Baby. Don’t let go of my hand, okay? I need you here with me, you understand me?”

“Ashton, I’m tired”

“No, no no no, baby stay with me. Tell me, what names do you like?”

“N-names?”

“Yes, Love. For the baby”

“The baby…”

Ashton was crying, but he wouldn’t let you see it. He squeezed your hand.

“Yes, yes the baby” He could hear your breathing slowing down “You can’t go to sleep, love. Baby, hold on”

He could hear the sirens coming closer, they were going to be okay.

“W-what about Alex? Do you like that one?” You could only hum in response “Stay with me, Y/N. What about Rose? You told me you liked that name, remember?”

The lights of the ambulance shined in the pavement. They were here. Help was here.

“Rose…” you said faintly

“Yes, yes baby. We are going to have such a beautiful family” Ashton cried as he felt your hand gave in “And you’re going to be an excellent mother.”

“You’ll be an excellent father”

“Y/N?”

“I’m so tired, Ash. Everything hurts” you cried.

“Baby no, don’t leave me. Just hold onto me, keep holding onto me”

He was panicking now, feeling you fade away.

“I love you” you said.

“Y/N?! No, baby c’mon. Hold on, please. If you love me don’t let go. Don’t leave me here”

Ashton didn’t feel when the door of his car opened next to him. He didn’t feel when they pulled him out of the car and into a stretcher. He just wanted to know that you were okay.

“Y/N?!” He screamed at the paramedics, trying to find you among the crowd that has gathered around the wreck “Where’s my wife?! Y/N!”

All he could hear was “She’s losing a lot of blood!” “We need to take her now” “I don’t feel a heartbeat, we’re losing her” as he saw your figured being pulled away in another ambulance, away from him.

He yelled, screamed, cried and kicked, trying to get to you somehow. He needed to be with you. He needed to know that you were still with him. That you were okay.

He didn’t feel when they injected him with a sedative.

From that moment on, everyday was the same. Everyday hoping that it might be different.

After the wreckage of your home, Ashton came back to the hospital to find you still asleep on the bed. He thanked the boys and said goodbye, promising them that he’ll be fine.

“I went home today” he said as he sat down on his usual spot, cupping your hand in his, letting your wedding bands touch “everything is where you left it. I - I didn’t dare to put everything back, I know how mad you can get when I move your stuff” Ashton let out a sad laugh, holding your hand even tighter “I’m sorry if my hands are a bit rough, I.. well let’s say you wouldn’t want to come into my music room for quite some time. I’m sorry”

Ashton looked at you. The bruises and cuts from the accident were almost fully healed. Your hair was longer, but it wasn’t as soft as it used to be. Your eyelashes rested peacefully over your cheeks, it was almost like if you were dreaming.

“I wish you could tell me how stupid I am. Believe it or not, I miss your nagging” he sighed “I miss everything. I miss you”

The machine that was connected to your heartbeat played its usual melody, filling the gaps that were created by your silence.

“I can’t help but think that this is all my fault. Everyone tells me it’s not, that I wasn’t the one driving drunk on the streets of LA. But then I look at you and, fuck Y/N, I don’t even know if you’re in pain and it kills me. If I could trade your life for mine I would, darling, in a heartbeat.”

‘“ I should’ve paid more attention to the road. I should’ve moved out of the way or.. I should’ve done something to avoid this” silent tears rolled down his cheek, he didn’t even attempt to wipe them away “We had so much ahead of us… we were going to start a family and I.. I can’t help but think that I took that away from you, from us”

‘“ I need you here, Y/N. I need you here by my side. I can’t live without you, I don’t want to live without you, baby. You are my everything, my Y/N, my love. Without you I’m unsteady, you’re my rock, my ending and beginning, my North Star.. Y/N you’re my home. And I know it sounds selfish but I’m not ready to give you away. I love you. I love you so fucking much, Y/N. Please don’t leave me, don’t let go. Come back, baby. I need you”

He cried through every word, every confession. He cried for everything they had and all that they could have if she wakes up. He cried so hard he didn’t notice when her Heart Rate went up all of the sudden.

“Y/N? Baby don’t. No no no no don’t let go” The beeps were faster, violent, shaking up Ashton from sorrow. Having him screaming at the top of his lungs for a doctor.

It all happened so fast. A sea of white coats surrounding the room and pushing Ashton out of the way and into the hall. He tried to step in again, but a nurse cut his way.

“I’m sorry, sir. You can’t go in there” he said, sternly.

“B-but that’s my wife.. That’s my wife!”

“Sir, I will need you to stay calm and stay here while the doctors work. Okay?” He went into the room, opening the door just enough for Ashton to see two paddlers hit your chest.

Ashton punched the walls out of frustration, almost breaking his hand and making it bleed. He rested his head on the furthest wall and slowly fell to the ground, sobbing his heart out.

He stayed like that for a long time before the doctors and nurses stepped out of the room, all of them ignoring him as he stayed on the floor. It wasn’t until Y/N’s head doctor appeared that he got up.

His eyes and face were puffy red, his hand was bruised and swollen. But he couldn’t seem to find a care. Not now. Not when his Y/N was all alone. Not when there’s a chance that she’s not there anymore.

“Mr. Irwin” said the doctor in a low voice that made Ashton’s world fade to grey, swallowing the lump he had in his throat “Mrs. Irwin went into cardiac arrest. It seemed like all of this got the best of her. Her vitals were…”

But Ashton couldn’t hear her anymore. In his mind everything was pure bullshit. All of this speach saying how sorry they were and that you’re in a better place, bullshit. You were gone. You were really gone. The universe could fall apart right there and there and he wouldn’t bat an eyelash. His universe died with you.

His eyes were an empty void. He could see the mouth of the doctor still moving. But all he could think was you. You and your perfect smile, the way your eyes shined every time you talked about something that you were passionate about. The way you looked in your wedding day and how nothing could even come close to the feeling of happiness when you said your ’I do’s’ How you would dance on each and every concert, cheer him up from the side of the stage, waiting to be kissed once it was over. And now you were gone.

He would never hear you laugh or say I love you again. He would never see you walk around the house in one of his shirts, trying to call his attention. He would never feel you close in the mornings, cuddling until you eventually had to let go. You were gone. And he wasn’t ready for that. He will never be ready for a life that doesn’t have you in it.

“... So would you like to see her?” The doctor said. Calling Ashton back to the real world.

“I’m sorry, what?” His shock was palpable. Voice sounding broken and weak as he was. Lips trembling as he held his breath, afraid that he misheard her.

“She’s stable, at the moment. She asked for you. She mentioned something about a rose....”

You were okay? You were awake?!

Ashton burst into the room without a second thought. Tears falling as he saw you looking at him from the hospital bed, smiling weakly. He stood there for a second, whispering as he thought it might be a dream.

“Y/N?”

“Ashton....”

”If you love me, don't let go

If you love me, don't let go”

[unstoppableforcce]

dark side

CHAPTER SIX: a good talking day

pairing: Javier Peña x reader (narcos)

previous part | next part | masterlist

a/n: this wasn’t the planned part to come out, it kinda built out of my inability to figure out the next part but I like it more and more every time I read it so I hope you enjoy !! sorry for the long wait and the short part !!

He knew what he was doing was a mistake.

But he was a little bit drunk and the two women he had over in your absence the past couple of nights weren’t doing nearly enough to take his mind off your fight. Besides, all he wanted to do was sleep.

Meeting after meeting, he needed to go to Curaçao, he needed to get Jurado, he needed to do something and all he got from the Ambassador was a chorus of, “I’m negotiating extradition” and “you need to wait a day.”

Javi just didn’t do well behind a desk. The longer he spent in his office, the more liquor in his glass later...

He had already smoked a half pack of cigarettes, he was maybe more than a little bit drunk and he was at your door… but there was a bottle in your busted knuckles, so maybe he wasn’t doing as bad as he thought he was. Maybe he was playing par for the first time in a long time.

And playing par with you was actually better than he was expecting when he knocked.

“Anything you want to accuse me of or…”

Not par. He wasn’t mad like you were.

He wished he was, it would have been easier if he was.

You weren’t working around his office anymore, not since your fight that night. He caught sight of you every so often when you came to pick up files from your desk but not enough to talk to you, barely enough to confirm it was even you. Though, he could also spot your pant suit from a mile away, so maybe it wasn’t about recognizing you, maybe it was about actually seeing you.

Maybe it was that he missed you.

This was the first time he had seen you face to face since the fight, and this was the first time he had seen your brandished your busted knuckles.

Javier Peña had been in Colombia for a few years, in the DEA for a few years longer than that, and an asshole for much longer than that. He knew what fists looked like after a few punches and that’s what yours looked like wrapped around the bottle in your hand. Yet all he could wonder was what the other guy looked like, because your face was untouched.

Not a black eye, not a cut, not a bump or bruise.

It wasn’t a fight. Whoever it was, whatever it was… from his position in your doorway, looking at your face in the sketchy orange lighting of the hall, it looked like a beating. One you delivered.

“I wanted to talk…” He sighed, leaning in further in the doorway but not getting you to budge in anyway.

“Shame.” Your hand, not on the bottle but on the door, began tapping gently, a soft beat not significantly faster than his own heartbeat which seemed to be increasing with every second that passed. “I just want to drink.”

“We can do that too.”

He wanted you to smile. He wanted it to be that simple, but you didn’t. You were still mad.

But you let him in, took a step back into your apartment and left the door wide open for him to follow and shut it behind himself. That had to count for something for now.

Moving to your fridge, bending over to grab two more beers, he finally noticed what you were wearing. It was late, he knew that, but you were in loose shorts and, if possible, an even looser tank top. That must have meant you were in bed, drinking in bed.

Things must have been bad.  

Taking the beer as you extended it his way, he leaned back against your counter, watching you carefully as you leaned against the counter opposite him. His stare trailed up from your bruised and scabbed knuckles to the precariously dangling strap of your tank top over your shoulder. But as your knuckles took the bottle back up to your lips, his stare stayed there.

“Who’d you hit?” He hummed, popping off the cap as you turned your head away.

“Who says I hit anyone…”

He didn’t have the breath to dignify your obfuscating, that wasn’t what he came over to do. All he could muster was a scoff and shake his head. You knew he wasn’t stupid and he wasn’t playing your game.

“Why’d you come over here…” You mumbled into the neck of your bottle as he kept his in his hand and full.

“To talk.”

“You never struck me as the talking type—”

“Funny.” He scoffed again, finally bringing the bottle to his lips and taking his first sip. “I’m remembering something about silence from you.”

It was almost back into a rhythm with you, it was almost that easy—

“Javi…”

As his stare made it back to yours, his bottle dropped from his lips in an instant.

He wasn’t looking at you anymore. It was your face and you body, your unkept hair and your lips… but your eyes were pleading a different story. A story that he couldn’t connect to you, this vulnerable version of yourself just didn’t feel like you.

Your eyes were actually pleading when his name fell from your lips. They were reddened and not nearly as strong as they were twenty seconds ago, tearing his heart out of his chest and dropping it to the floor to squash it under your bare feet.

“Bad day?” Was the most he could muster, though he imagined bad didn’t come anywhere close to what you were feeling.

“Hypothetically…?” you huffed, setting your bottle aside and crossing your arms over your chest. “Yeah. Something like that.”

“So, this is a bad time to talk?”

Wiping over your face, you scoffed more to yourself than to him, turning away, your back to him as you propped yourself up on your elbows atop the counter opposite him. “Yeah,” your voice muffled into your chest, “It’s certainly not a great time.”

He nodded, not that you could even see it, but he did.

And then, instead of slowing down the way the alcohol in his chest would normally urge him to, he left his bottle on the counter and stalked off to your back bathroom before you turned around. He had only been over once or twice, but he remembered bandages, alcohol, and ointments in your medicine cabinet. And he remembered because he found it funny...

It looked a lot like his medical cabinet before he got a partner whose wife was a nurse.

He remembered nights spent alone in his apartment tending to his own wounds because he simply didn’t trust anyone else. Opening your medicine cabinet behind your mirror was practically looking in the mirror itself.

Finding the supplies was the easy part, bringing them back out to you while you leaned against the counter and stared at him with a brow wrought with confusion was much harder.

“Javi…”

“It’s not a great time for talking.” He added carefully, laying the supplies out and extending his hand to you with a faux confidence he was hoping you wouldn’t be able to shy away from.

He only relaxed when you took it, maybe then the confidence became real.

Taking another step closer, he grabbed a towel from the open shelf above your head and began pouring alcohol onto it before dabbing it onto your knuckles. He could hear your breath hitch when he made contact, but you didn’t flinch away, and you didn’t tell him to stop.

Your breath was warm as you huffed out against the side of his face but he didn’t think about how close he was, he couldn’t if he wanted to do this right. He kept his head down but he knew he was only a few centimeters from you and he knew you were looking at him.

“You still want to not talk?” He mused, glancing to the side to see you briefly before putting his attention back to your knuckles.

“You’ve done this before…”

Angling his stare back to your as his rough hands worked over your knuckles gently, he raised his eyebrows carefully, “Is that a question or—”

“No,” escaped your lips, fainter than even your pillow talk.

“I was down here for a while before I had someone I really trusted, I did a lot of this myself…” He mused, letting one of your hands fall to your side and reaching for your other, your non-dominant, not nearly as busted. “I don’t know if I got good at it but it’s better than nothing.”

Reaching behind him to the counter, he grabbed the ointment and let a small laugh fall from his lips without a smile to accompany it.

“What?”

He lifted his head, tilting his chin up and showing the ointment to you, “it’s expired.”

“I think it still works.” You countered and he shrugged, letting some out on his finger and beginning to apply it across your knuckles.

But you only had so many knuckles he could distract himself with. Eventually he had to lay a bandage over them, and that was when he couldn’t ignore just how close your face was to him, just how warm your breath felt up against his cheek, just how much he missed the feel of your hand in his.

Lifting his head up, he found you no more than a few breaths away, and as he lifted it up even further, his nose came dangerously close to touching yours. Both of your stares somehow managed to look everywhere but each other even when he took up your whole range of vision, and you, his.

“I’m still mad…” You breathed out, the edges of your voice dancing over the skin of his cheek as his hand kept yours tight in its grip.

“I know.”

“You still want to talk?”

The hand not holding yours reached carefully to your side, but not to the fabric of your shorts hanging loose over your hips, to the counter an inch away. It was just enough so that the heat from his skin of his forearm beneath his rolled-up shirt could burn through your own clothing. He was too close to escape now and you weren’t exactly sure that was what you wanted anyways.

“No.” His nose nudged yours as the word fell from his lips, and with a deep inhale, one deep enough to make his chest shudder against you, he continued on, “do you?”

You lifted your hand to the side of his face but didn’t touch him, not right away, not until his nose nudged yours once more and you let it gently slip into his hair, playing over his ear. Then his lips were hovering over yours and his hand was playing with the fabric of your shorts over your hips and he didn’t know what move to make.

Not until your lips softly pressed to his.

Gripping his fingers into your hip, he pushed you back into the counter with his hips and reciprocated the kiss. The heat in his stomach was unlike anything he had ever felt, it was exactly what he had been looking for the past few nights, but he sent those women home before he even got them into bed.

Because it didn’t feel like this.

Until you pulled away, turning your head to the side so his chasing lips and hot breath hovered over your shoulder instead.

“I’ve had a lot to drink tonight…” You muttered, dragging your fingers down from his hair, trailing down his neck and to his shoulder. “It’s been a bad day…”

“They’re all bad days.”

That was the first sign of a smile he got from you. It wasn’t much of one, but it was something as he pulled back and let his grip fall from your body and hand. Turning his back to you, he screwed the lid back on the alcohol, your hand falling from his shoulder down his back until it fell entirely from him.

“Not all of them.” You hummed, grabbing your bottle from behind you and taking a heavy sip.

He wished you had the hope you did, but for now, all he could do was turn back to you and bring his lips to your cheek for a brief kiss and—

And he couldn’t pull back.

His lips held against your cheek and he couldn’t pull back.

“Javi…”

There were words on his tongue, words he just couldn’t get out and he knew you could feel them. But this wasn’t the day for drunken apologies, this wasn’t the day for him to open his mouth and say something he regretted.

So he took a deep breath and pressed another kiss to your cheek.

“Don’t punch anyone else until your hands heal.” He sighed, finally pulling away.

It wasn’t what he wanted to say but it felt like the right thing to say, at least for now.

“You don’t want to ask me again who I—”

“It’s not a great time for talking.” He repeated. “It’s just a bad day.”

With a full step back, his body heat finally left you and he moved to the door. But before he could get it open, you caught his hand.

“You can sleep on my couch if you want,”

Your couch? The same couch you brought him home to that first night? He couldn’t help but stifle a laugh as he thought about it and you did too, even as you started moving back towards your bedroom.

But if he really opened his mouth, he would say he wasn’t going to be able to sleep on your couch with you a few rooms over. He probably wasn’t going to sleep anyways, but definitely not if he was here, unless he was in bed with you and he knew that wasn’t happening. By the looks of it, you were reading it on his face as well.

“Goodnight, Javi.”

He nodded, pulling the door open and shutting in behind himself once he was out in your hall.

Three little words. He could’ve said three little words.

He could have said I miss you. He could have said I am sorry. Maybe he should have said I care about you too damn much… that was more than three words.

And the big three were humming in the back of his mind more than any of the other ones.

But it wasn’t a great day for talking. Whoever you punched, whatever happened at work, whatever was making you drink as much as you were… it wasn’t a great day for talking and the conversation the two of you needed to have needed to wait for a good day.

He heard the locks click behind him and he turned back to the door and knocked again, forcing you to unlock them all over again and reopen the door for him.

“Javi...?”

He wasn’t going to sleep anyways, he might as well not sleep closer to you.

“Your couch... can I?”

Maybe tomorrow would be a better day for talking.

—

tags: (please let me know if I forgot you or you’d like to be added, I’m still not very good with tags !)

@the-feckless-wonder @arrowswithwifi @ms-dont-care @leo-moon @tiffdawg @readsalot73 @way-too-addicted-to-anime @keeper0fthestars @adikaofmandalore e @opheliaelysia @magneticbucky @videogamesandpoorlifechoices @larakasser @littlevodika @mandoren @mistermiraclee (open)

[darkpoisonouslove]

Sleeping Beauty Missed Opportunities

I watched Disney’s Sleeping Beauty about ten days ago and I actually loved it a lot. The aesthetic is lovely and the music is absolutely ethereal, there was some awesome comedy and Maleficent remains such a cool villain even if she is not particularly competent at it, Phillip is probably the best Disney prince ever and I got all nostalgic so it was a great experience. I couldn’t help but notice a couple of things that had so much potential had they been explored and now I am going to write them out because they will simply not leave me alone.

- The fact that Flora’s gift to Aurora was beauty annoyed me a lot. So you’re telling me that her beauty is not only not natural, but it was also pretty much a gift wasted since it literally never played any role in anything. Aurora grew up in isolation so she could have looked as Godzilla for all anyone cared and it wouldn’t have made a difference. And to top it all, her beauty also does not play a role in Phillip falling in love with her because he falls in love with the beauty of her voice at first. It would have been much better if she was naturally pretty (as opposed to supernaturally so aka magically induced) and Flora had given her another gift. I suppose that since she is named Flora, she has something to do with flowers which is why her gift to Aurora was beauty. After all, flowers are there to look pretty and not much else. But I think it would have been a better idea if her gift to Aurora had been that of a nurturing touch that makes it so that Aurora nearly gives life to plants by just touching them. Animals are trickier but she can still heal and nurse them back to health with a little more effort. That would have been in contrast with Maleficent’s whole “kingdom” (aka the Forbidden Mountain) decaying and being in ruins and would have gone better with Fauna’s gift of the soul.

- In the scene where Maleficent appears to the Christening, it is Merryweather that tells her she was not wanted. Granted, the king and queen did not object to that but it was obvious they had already pissed off Maleficent so they probably didn’t want to get on the wrong side of the fairies whose benevolence they still had. When you think about it, though, it was Merryweather who escalated the situation into a disaster that could not be saved so my thought was that it would have been interesting to have learned a little bit more about the fairy ways and the conflict between the Three Good Fairies and Maleficent. Obviously, Maleficent has high social status since even the queen called her “Your Excellence” so the decision to not invite her to the Christening was weird and ill-advised. With a little more background info on the fairy business we could have witnessed the dilemma of the royal family that is caught in the middle of a feud they have nothing to do with aka having to choose which side to invite and risking to draw the wrath of the other upon themselves. It could have been interesting to see what would have happened if they had invited Maleficent instead of the Good Fairies in fear of what she could do if they didn’t only to have the Good Fairies paying them back for the disrespect but that would have changed the plot too much so it is probably best to explore as an AU.

- The consequences of King Stefan’s decision to burn all spinning wheels were never ever shown and that was such a great waste. The fact that the target audience is kids makes it a little bit more understandable, of course, but this could have made for a great political subplot. The decision was impulsive and was made more from the heart of the father rather than the head of the king in his desperation to protect the child he and his wife have wanted for so long. However, that will surely have economical and even political impact on the kingdom. Instead of celebrating the birth of the royal heir, they had to pay the price for protecting her. It is the fourteenth century so without spinning wheels in the whole kingdom, they could no longer turn wool into threads. Any industry including fabric would have suffered from that choice and that would have led to poverty. Now that would have been a perfect way to explore the alliance between Aurora and Phillip’s kingdoms. Maybe they signed a contract for Phillip’s kingdom to trade finished products for the resources that they need to make them coming from Aurora’s kingdom. It would have been a good way to include the aspect of royalty, politics and economics more since they already introduced it through the arranged marriage. And it would be interesting to see Aurora’s reaction once she was back at the palace to how much her subjects and the whole kingdom (even Phillip’s kingdom) had sacrificed for her well-being. Any decisions she could have made on the matter as the future ruler could have shown her introduction into her role of princess and future queen as well as her compassion and good heart.

- The king and queen’s pain over their lost daughter was never explored. They waited for years for the happiness to have a baby and when their only dream finally comes true, they are forced to give up the baby if they want to keep her alive. They can not see her for the first sixteen years of her life and by the time she comes back to the palace she is all grown up. She is not their baby daughter but a beautiful stranger that they don’t know anything about. Whatever happiness and relief there was over her being well and alive was surely overshadowed by the fact that Maleficent still succeeded in tearing their family apart. Their daughter is not dead but they lost her and she never had them. It is a horrible tragedy that the movie never even bothered to address for a second past that scene of them sending Aurora away with the Three Good Fairies. Considering all the negative repercussions the king’s decision to burn all spinning wheels must have had on the kingdom, it was a shame that they never truly showed the emotional consequences of the choice to give Aurora to the fairies to raise for the royal family. It could have added much emotional depth to the story and characters.

- In relation to that, there was a big missed opportunity with Philip also. Since his mother wasn’t there neither at the Christening, nor at the celebration of Aurora’s sixteenth birthday, a sound assumption would be that she was dead. The loss of her that Phillip and his father were going through and the loss Aurora’s parents were experiencing after they gave her away could have become a great bonding point for the two families. It has been shown that Phillip’s dad is a great friend of King Stefan so it would be safe to assume that the two met quite a lot. Phillip could have easily been brought along on those visits and since they lost their own daughter, Aurora’s parents would have probably become very fond of the boy and loved him as their own. He was to be their son-in-law one day and through him they could give their daughter all their love, by caring for him and helping raise him in any way they could. And Phillip could have come to think of them as family as well and respect them like his own parents which would have made it harder for him to stand up to the arranged marriage because he also loved them and didn’t want to hurt their feelings after all the love they’d given him. And later on, once Aurora was back home, he could have helped her get to know her parents. It would have been bittersweet that he knew them better than she did but it would have shown both his support of Aurora and the trust that binds the two families in one as well as helped both Aurora and her parents get over the pain and trauma they’ve experienced.

- This is more of a detail that would have just made things a little cooler if it’d been included but what if the gift of soul Fauna gave Aurora was the reason she was seeing Phillip in her dreams? It connected her to the living beings like the forest animals and it could have very well been the one thing helping her connect with the one she is destined to be with. It could have been a cool side thing. And maybe it also affected Phillip in some way and that was why he could communicate so effortlessly with his horse. Or they could have made it so that Phillip had also been blessed by fairies as a child and that was why he was communicating the same way with his horse that Aurora was with the forest animals and it helped them establish their dream bond.

- And one last possibility that I thought of would have been if Aurora had been raised according to fairy understanding and perception of the world. The Three Good Fairies themselves said that they knew nothing about raising a human child and Aurora neither knew they were fairies, nor had contact with any other humans in order to figure out that something wasn’t quite right with the way they were raising her and the things they were teaching her. So she grew up experienced in fairy traditions and the fairy way of looking on the world. Once she goes to the palace, she finally learns that what she’s been taught is not the human way of doing things so on top of having to patch up her family and learn the royal ways, she also has to learn the human ways. And since she’s been raised with fairy outlook on the world, she cannot believe her parents’ decision to not invite Maleficent to her Christening. It is not that she blames them but to her it seems incredibly stupid and disrespectful and she understands why Maleficent went for retribution. Since Aurora is so well versed in the fairy ways, she becomes something of an ambassador for the kingdom in its dealings with fairies (and possibly other magical creatures) to avoid repetition of history and offend another powerful being. The kingdom becomes prosperous thanks to its extraordinary princess who has managed to earn the benevolence and blessings of various fairies. There are those who do not like her since they think a human should have never been allowed the privilege to know their traditions so well but, in general, she is in the favor of most powerful beings that protect her kingdom and make it a force to be reckoned with.

Those are the things that I would have loved to have seen included or even hinted at in some way in the movie since there is a lot to cover in all the cracks of the story. Any of these would have made for great additions to the original plot imo and would have given more depth and life to the story.

[javier-djarin]

Como Me Duele: Chapter 11

Ship: Javi x Reader

Rating: M

Word Count:  6,265 words

Warnings: Language

Masterlist

(Gif by @pascvl​)

Summary: You sustained injuries while being held hostage. Javi realizes he doesn’t know what will become of him if he loses you.

A/N: Two more posts left. The end is nigh. This chapter was fun to write, even though parts of it almost had me crying. I couldn’t decide on which gif to use, because both of these sum up the majority of this chapter. Thank you again for all the love and support! Please, please, PLEASE let me know what you think. Please let me know if you want to be on my tag list! Chapter 12 coming soon!  As always, the translations are at the bottom.

His POV

He wiped the hair off her face. She was still warm and had color to her skin, but her breathing was so faint, he almost didn’t notice it. He held her close to his body as he looked up at Steve, who was already on the radio. “This is Agent Murphy, requesting medical aid. We need an Air Vac out. We are located on 4th. Patient: American Female who has sustained a severe head injury.”

“Ambulance is on its way,” dispatch said, “Air Vac waiting. Stand-by.”

Steve knelt close to him and undid her restraints. “She’s going to be okay. We’re going to take her to Bogotá.”

All Javi could do was nod and look down at his hermosa, stroking her soft cheek, and praying to every god in existence that she would wake up. “Don’t leave me, hermosa,” he whispered into her hair, kissing her forehead. His lips quivered as the rest of his body shook. “Please, wake up.”

Steve rested a hand on Javi’s shoulder, because that’s all he could think of doing. They could hear the ambulance off in the distance. “Javi,” he said, “the ambulance is here.”

Javi didn’t move as he continued to smooth her hair. “I can’t lose her, Steve,” his voice breaking, “I need her to wake up.”

“She will, but the paramedics need to put her in the ambulance.”

Paramedics arrived and approached Javi with a stretcher. “Necesitamos moverla.”

He stood up, with her in his arms, setting her on it. Her hand dangled from her body, and he held it, walking all the way with them to the ambulance. He kissed the inside of her palm. “Te quiero, mi corazon.”

Steve walked over and hugged Javi as the ambulance pulled away. “They have a helicopter waiting for us at the airfield. We can’t ride with her.”

Javi nodded and didn’t say anything as he walked to the Jeep. Steve jumped in the driver’s seat and drove as fast as he could to the airport. They rode in silence as Javi chewed on his nails. Both were startled when Steve’s phone rang. “Murphy,” he said.

“Steve, we just landed,” Connie said, “Kate and I are going to head to the apartment.”

He sighed into the phone. “Head to the hospital,” he solemnly said. 

Steve heard her gasp. “Steve…”

“She has a head injury. That’s all I know. Get there, and maybe you can be one of her nurses.”

“Do you want us to bring anything?” she said, her voice shaking.

Javi reached for the phone, and Steve gladly handed it over to him. “Get the Fleetwood Mac T-shirt in her suitcase and a pair of my sweatpants. They’re her favorite. She’ll want to wear those on the ride home,” he said, trembling.

“Of course, Javi. Anything else?”

He took a deep breath. “The black box off the dresser.”

“We’ll meet you there. We love you, Javi,” her voice gave it away that she was crying.

“The spare key is above the door,” he replied, before hanging up.

He wanted to kill La Quica for what he did to her, but he knew now, Messina wasn’t going to let him get close to that son of a bitch. “Tell me she’s going to make it. Tell me she’s going to be alright,” he softly said to Steve.

“She’s going to pull through. Y/N is too tough not to. You know, of all people, how stubborn she is.”

He huffed and nodded his head. Stubborn was the perfect way to describe her. Along with beautiful, loving, passionate, and perfect. He leaned forward and balled his fists in his hair, letting out several small sobs. The image of her lifeless in the car was stuck in the forefront of his mind. He felt Steve place a hand on his back, trying to console him or at least let him know he wasn’t alone. Javi wouldn’t tell him, but he appreciated the sentiment. The last thing he wanted to be was alone right now. 

They made it to the airfield in good time, but according to the radio tower, they were scheduled to take off after her medical evac. Javi breathed a sigh of relief, a hundred percent okay with her beating them to the hospital. Steve called Messina and the Ambassador to update them on the status of the mission. Both agreed to cover any medical costs that she would acquire, and to pay for her family to join her at the hospital. Javi wasn’t in a state to talk to them, so Steve deferred all requests to be sent to his wife, Connie. 

Everything was a blur to Javi. The flight home, the drive to the hospital. Time didn’t catch up to him until Kate ran to Javi and hugged him. “Connie is with her in surgery, right now.”

His heart stopped and he turned pale white. “S-s-surgery?”

“Javier Peña,” he heard a familiar voice say behind him. When he turned around, he saw the young doctor from the club that couldn’t keep his fucking hands off her.

“Yeah,” he said, puffing out his chest a little.

“Soy su médico de cabecera,” he said, “Nos conocimos el año pasado. Soy el Dr. Rodriguez”

“Se quien eres.”

“If you are more comfortable in English, we can converse this way,” he said in a very thick Colombian accent.

Javi nodded. He felt Kate wrap an arm around him and lean into him while Steve rested his hand on his shoulder. “How is she?”

Rodriguez sighed. “She came to us with a Basal Skull Fracture, and she is in surgery right now to take care of the leaking cerebrospinal fluid. She also has a severe concussion from the blow to the top and right of her head, but we are optimistic she will make a full recovery. Her left eye is severely bruised, but will recover just fine. She will have stitches in her cheek from a cut she received, but all in all, she’s going to be okay.”

Javi let out a long sigh and felt his heart start to slow down. “When can I see her?” he asked.

“She should be out of surgery in a few hours. They’re going to keep her as sedated as we can, so she won’t be awake when you see her, but we will let you know.”

“What do you mean as sedated as you can?” Javi asked.

Rodriguez looked through the file in his hand, again, before saying. “Well, according to the blood work, she’s pregnant. About six, seven weeks along.”

And just like that, all of the air left his body again. “Pr-pregnant?”

“Dr. Rodriguez, te necesitan en cuidados intensivos,” a short nurse said to him.

“Disculpe,” he said, following after the nurse.

Javi looked down at Kate. “Is she really?”

Kate led him back to the waiting room chairs, with Steve closely behind. “It’s why she came back,” she said with several tears in her eyes, “she wanted to tell you in person.”

He leaned forward, holding his head in his hands, crying. Javi leaned back in his seat and looked straight up, trying to peer right into the face of God, praying his child was okay. “This is all my fault,” he said.

Steve leaned his shoulder against him. “There’s no way you could have known,” he said.

“Did you know?”

Steve sighed. “Connie made me swear not to tell you.”

“Oh, fuck that,” Javi said, “how could you not tell me?”

Kate butted in, trying to save Steve. “Because we didn’t want to steal that moment from her,” she said, “she wanted to see the look on your face when you found out that you were going to be a father.”

Those words hit Javi in the middle of his chest. A father. Suddenly, his view on the world was completely different. He closed his eyes and took several deep breaths, before walking out of the waiting room. He found the hospital gift shop on the main level and walked in. Javi saw a beautiful arrangement of red roses and white orchids. He didn’t pay attention to how much it cost, because she deserved any and everything. Then, he sat down on the bench just outside the hospital entrance, and let out a sob. He cried for her: she was going to be okay. He cried for his unborn child, because he never knew what he wanted until Kate told him that he was going to be a father. He cried, because for some reason God, or whoever was up there, believed he deserved all of this: a woman that loved him who would bear him a child. Out of all his sins, he was good enough to have the most perfect example of a woman wake up every morning next to him. He felt his heart swell like he’d never felt. He never knew he was capable of loving someone so much until he had her in his life. 

Javi must have been sitting outside for a long time, because Connie finally came for him. “Javi,” she said softly. 

He turned to look at her. She hugged him tight, and she felt him shudder under her arms. “She did great in surgery, and the babies are even better.”

“Babies?” He stepped back from her and stared at her. “Babies as in plural?”

Connie smiled. “As in twins.”

The corners of his mouth twitched, and Connie could have sworn he wanted to smile. “Can I see her?”

Connie nodded. “She’s getting settled in her room now,” she said, “but, Javi, I need to warn you. She looks like she’s in worse shape than what she is. She has an IV in her, and she’s running on oxygen. We were able to take her off the ventilator.” She wrapped her arm through Javi’s and led her to Y/N room. “I brought you an extra change of clothes, a toothbrush, and some extra toiletries in case you needed them, too. Since, I figured you’d be here as long as she was. We will actually be able to discharge her in two days. Doctor says she’ll be well enough that she can heal on her own. She does have a follow up next week. But we are just prescribing her Tylenol and a lot of rest.”

He took a deep, shaky breath as they got closer to her room. “Are you ready?” she asked. He nodded. “Oh, and Javi? She’s going to love the little black box you bought her.”

His heart picked up even more. Slowly, he opened the door to her room and stopped in the doorway. She was peacefully asleep, with a single bandage around her head to hold the cotton in place at the base of her neck. Her face was swollen and bruised, but she was still far more beautiful than anyone he’d ever seen. He walked over to her, running his hand gently over the top of her head. A few more tears escaped as he tried to smile. “Hermosa,” he whispered, “I’m not going anywhere.”

The heart rate machine sped up just a hair, and he believed that was her way of telling him that she heard him. He leaned down and kissed her forehead. “They’ll have to kill me before I ever leave you,” he added. Connie took the flowers from him and set them in a vase on her bedside table before closing the door behind her.

Javi grabbed a small recliner from the corner of the room and moved it to her side. He held her hand in his, resting his forehead on her leg. He then looked up at her stomach under the sheets and rested his other hand there. “Hey, in there,” he said, awkwardly, “It’s me. Your…daddy.” The phrase felt weird coming from him, but it brought another twitch to the corners of his mouth. “I’m going to take such good care of you and mommy. No one will ever hurt you again.”

He felt more tears escape. Though he was relieved he had her back, the fear and panic from the last several days finally washed over him. He held her hand to his lips, running his thumb over her knuckles. “No sé lo que haría sin ti, mi corazón,” he breathed, “Voy a pasar el resto de mi vida haciendo las paces contigo.”

Javi leaned forward and placed a very chaste kiss on her lips before settling down in his chair. His exhaustion was finally catching up to him as he drifted off to sleep. 

***

He was startled awake by the loud beeping from the machines and nurses running into the room. His heart started to race as they started pressing buttons. “Ella tiene fiebre alta,” one nurse said.

“Baño de hielo,” another replied.

Another checked her vitals and added, “Llama al Dr. Rodriguez.”

They moved her onto a stretcher and started to wheel her out of the room. Javi followed and ran out into the hallway. Steve instantly approached him. “What’s going on?”

Javi shook his head. “Her monitors started going off and they rushed in. One of them said she was running a fever.”

“Dr. Rodriguez,” they said over the intercom, “Te necesitan en cuidados intensivos.”

Javi looked at Steve, panic written all over his face. “Where’s Connie?”

“She’s probably with her. I’m sure she’ll be out here soon.”

He sat down in the chair next to the door in the hallway. “Fuck,” he said, resting his head in his hands. He could feel the sweat rolling down his back and neck as he thought of the worst case scenarios. Javi had never been a big optimist, and in this moment he hated that about himself. He needed that optimism, that false sense of hope that she was going to be okay. She was going to pull through. 

He felt a pair of small hands rub his back as he turned and looked to his left. Connie was knelt next to him with a new look of concern in her eyes. “She’s stable,” she said, “she’s in the ice bath now. Her fever spiked, so they’re going to run some tests and make sure there’s no swelling. Her heart rate dropped, though, on their way to the ice baths, so they moved her to ICU for closer monitoring. You can see her when they get her comfortable, but you can’t stay with her.”

She saw Javi’s shoulder tense up. “They can’t keep me away from her.”

Connie sighed and smiled at Steve. “I knew you’d say that. When I filled out her paperwork to admit her, I listed you as her spouse.”

“He did the same with the Embassy,” Steve mumbled.

Javi looked over at her. “Does that mean I can stay with her?”

She nodded. “You can come and go as you please. They’ve hooked her up to more monitors, though and have her on a stronger IV drip. If she does fine through the night, they’ll move her back down here. I called her parents after she got settled. They’ll be here tomorrow morning.”

“I’ll pick them up from the airport with Kate,” Steve said.

Connie smiled at her husband. “Javi,” she said, rubbing his back again, “I’m going to go check on her. If anything changes, you’ll be the first to know. Everyone is taking great care of her. She’s in good hands.”

All he could do was nod at her and rest his head in his hands. She slowly stood up and walked back towards the ICU. Steve sat down in the empty seat next to him and laughed. “You know, not in a million years would I have guessed we’d be here,” he said.

“Yeah? And what does that mean?”

“Well, for starters, watching my best friend and my wife’s best friend fall in love.”

Javi looked up at him. “I thought I was too much trouble for her.”

Steve slapped his back and smiled at him. “I think you were just enough for her. However, she might be too much for you.”

Javi wanted to laugh, but he couldn’t enjoy happiness while her life hung in the balance. 

“I also never thought I’d see you this head over heels for a single woman,” he added, leaning forward. 

He let out a loud sigh and leaned back against the chair. “She’s my whole world, Steve. And now, our children…” His voice cracked. “I can’t lose them.”

“Connie is going to take good care of them. Before you know it, she’ll be awake and cursing herself for staying with your ugly mug.”

Javi shook his head and reached for the duffle back on the inside of the door. He pulled out the little black box and handed it to Steve. “What’s this?”

“I took your advice,” he mumbled, waiting for Steve to open it.

He lifted the lid off the box and revealed a small, navy blue velvet box that housed a simple gold band with a round cut diamond in the center, surrounded by several smaller diamonds. “She left some jewelry in the apartment, so I grabbed one of her rings and went to a jewelry store downtown,” he said, “I was going to ask her when she inevitably came back, because I knew she wouldn’t stay away for long.” He paused and looked at the ring in Steve’s hand. “That is, if she still wants to be with me.”

Steve smiled and handed the box back to Javi. “Javi,” he sighed, “I’ve known her for years. Well, at least since her and Connie were in med school. Which means I’ve only known her with Michael and then briefly without. The entire time I saw them together, never once did she light up the way she does around you. She will say ‘yes’.”

Javi let out a shaky breath. “I need to get the chance to ask her, first.” He looked down the hall where they took her. 

“You will.”

He turned back to Steve and eyed him, raising an eyebrow at him. “Best friend?”

Steve laughed. “Fuck off, Peña.”

“Well, you know what that means if she says ‘yes’, right?”

“You sure you want one of my famous speeches?”

Javi shook his head. “You’d make a piss poor best man, anyway.”

Steve shoved him. “Fuck off, Peña. No one else would be better than me.”

He glanced back at Steve, the corners of his mouth twitching, aching to form a smile. “Who says I want a fucking hillbilly standing next to me?”

Steve slapped him on the shoulder and leaned back in his chair laughing. He looked past Javi and saw his wife approaching them with a smile on her face. “Jav,” he nudged him to look.

“So, her fever broke,” she said, “and her heart rate has returned to normal. Doc gave us the all clear to just keep her in this room.”

Javi let out a deep breath. “Thank you, Connie. For everything.”

She smiled at him. “I’m not about to lose my best friend to a drug war. She’ll be back in this room after they finish a few tests. Steve, take him to get something to eat.”

***

Javi followed him to the cafeteria and stared at his sandwich that Steve bought him. “Man, you have to eat something,” Steve said.

He nodded. “I know.”

Steve’s phone rang. “Murphy,” he answered.

“It’s Messina.” Javi looked up from his sandwich. “Hand the phone to Peña.”

Javi shook his head. “He’s talking with the doctor right now. I’ll pass the message along.”

Messina sighed. “Judy Moncada has now become an Informant for the CIA.” Javi rubbed his hands down his face, trying to contain his anger. “She’s been placed on a plane and will be heading to Miami tomorrow to leak who was working with Los Pepes.”

Javi banged his fist on the table. “What does this mean?” Steve asked.

“Peña told me the truth two days ago, and I tried to fix it. They’re sending him home. They want him out of Colombia by the end of the week.”

“Messina, no. Out of everyone, Javi deserves to be there when we bring that motherfucker down.”

“I tried everything I could. They’re sending him home.” She hung up the phone.

Steve looked at Javi with a sympathetic gaze. “I’m sorry, man.”

“I knew it couldn’t last forever,” he sighed, “just put a bullet in that fucker for me.”

“Are you okay?” Steve asked, concerned at his lack of reaction to the news.

Javi looked at his partner. “This was going to end one of two ways. With me dead or fired. I’m okay with the latter.” His mouth twitched again. “That just means I can spend my time focused on her.”

***

Javi took his place back in the recliner next to her bed. He grabbed her hand and rubbed his thumb over her knuckles. “We’re going home, hermosa,” he whispered, “I just need you to wake up.” His voice broke and he felt a few tears roll down his cheeks.

He leaned forward and kissed her hand, resting his head on her bed. The steady beeping of the machines, her heart beat, slowly lulled him back to sleep. 

Your POV

You slowly opened your eyes and noticed you were in a dark room surrounded by machines that were attached to you. You turned your head to the left and saw bright, white lights coming through the slits in the blinds on your windows. Suddenly you were hit with an excruciating headache that made you want to throw up. You felt something soft in your right hand, and you turned to look. Your heart was ready to burst as tears flowed down your cheeks. You saw Javi asleep in a recliner, holding your hand like it was his lifeline. You used your other hand to reach for the nurse’s button. Luckily, Connie walked in, quietly opening the door. She smiled at you and squeezed your other hand.

Your throat was extremely dry and raw. So, you nodded at Javi, and it was like she read your mind. She quickly returned with a pillow and blanket for him. She gently lifted his head and placed the pillow under him before tucking him in. She grabbed his hand out of yours and placed it in his lap, which caused him to open his eyes. “Connie?” he said, still half asleep, “what are you doing?”

She smiled at him. “Someone wanted you to be comfortable while you slept,” indicating you.

His gaze went immediately to your half opened eyes, and you smiled at him. You reached both of your arms out for him, to which he gladly stood and moved closer to you. He rested his forehead on yours, smoothing your hair as you ran your fingers through his. “I never thought I’d see your beautiful eyes again,” he whispered in his gentle, baritone voice.

You couldn’t say anything. All you could do was cry. He wiped your tears away and softly kissed your lips. You saw Connie step out of the room to give you more privacy. “I’m so sorry,” you cried, “I shouldn’t have come back.”

“No,” he said, “don’t ever apologize to me. You’re perfect.” He kissed you again. “I know why you came back.”

You suddenly became worried about your child. Your hand reaching for your stomach, resting over the little one growing in there. “Is it-”

“They’re both fine,” he said smiling. 

There it was. Your favorite smile was back. “Both?”

He nodded and kissed you. Dr. Rodriguez came in and slowly turned the lights on. “I see you are awake,” he said. “How are you feeling?”

Javi stood next to you, holding your hand. “I have a really bad headache,” you replied.

He walked closer to you, shining a light into your eyes. Then, he gently placed his hand behind your head and touched the bandage. “You gave us a scare yesterday,” he said, “I thought we were going to have to sedate your husband.” He laughed.

Your eyes shot to Javi’s and he smiled at you again. “Yes,” you slowly said, “my husband can tend to act before he thinks.”

Rodriguez stepped away. “I’ll send Connie in to change your bandages. You have several other guests waiting to see you.”

“Thank you, Antonio,” you said.

“Of course, Y/N,” he walked out of the room, closing the door behind him.

You turned your attention back to Javi and gave him a curious stare. “Husband?”

He gave you his usual devilish grin. “It’s the only way I could stay here with you.”

Connie walked in with a set of fresh bandages. “I’ll change these, and then your parents want to see you,” she said as she changed them.

“Uh, Connie?” Javi said, “Can you give us just a few minutes before sending everyone in?”

She winked at him. “Just let me know when you’re ready,” she added before closing the door.

“As soon as you’re out of here, I can change it. I can only imagine what you think since…”

“Javi,” you said, squeezing his hand. “Just answer me one question. Who is she?”

You saw a few tears roll down his cheek as he reflected on the last time you saw each other. That awful woman with her arms around his neck. He took a deep, shaky breath. “Her name is Gabriela. She was one of my old informants.”

You dropped his hand, but he instantly reached for it again. “Please, just listen. She came by my apartment to ‘distract’ me while they took you. I tried forcing her away, and that’s when she threw herself at me. I swear. I don’t want anyone that isn’t you. I love you more than anything I could ever imagine, and the entire time you were missing I lost it. I couldn’t eat, sleep. Hell, I couldn’t even breath until I found you. And when,” he paused and tried to gather himself before continuing. “When I found you in that car, unconscious, I just knew my life was over.”

You felt more tears escape your eyes as you watched him walk to the end of the bed and dig through a duffle bag. “This isn’t what I had hoped,” he said, “but I can’t wait any longer.” You smiled at him as he looked like he was about to throw up. “I’ve thought about this for a long time, and when you left Colombia, I realized I was miserable without you. I knew that when I saw you again, I needed to keep you with me always.” He took another shaky breath as he got down on one knee. “Te quiero  más que a nada en el mundo. Eres el amor de mi vida. ¿Te casarías conmigo, mi hermosa?”

You beckoned him to stand as you pulled him closer to you. “Por supuesto, Javi. No quiero pasar mi vida con nadie más.” He kissed you deeper, but still gently as he slid the ring onto your finger.

His POV

He beckoned Connie to send in her parents as he resumed his position by her side, holding her hand and occasionally kissing it. He needed to constantly reassure himself that this was real. She was here, alive, and wearing his ring. Slowly, the door opened and a beautiful woman that resembled an older version of his hermosa stepped in, followed by a tall, strong man. The woman smiled and walked directly to her side, kissing her forehead. His heart raced, as he realized he was meeting her parents for the first time under less than ideal circumstances. “Hey, there,” your mother said, stroking her hair, “how are you feeling?”

She smiled. His heart beat so fast when he saw her smile again. He would give anything in the world to see that smile every day for the rest of his life. To see her eyes light up and hear her most angelic laughter. His mind floated off to the time he carried her up the stairs to her room and she smiled while he held her in his arms. She smiled when he whispered to her good night, and she called him her Javi for the first time. He knew the first time she spoke to him that she had him wrapped around her finger, but that night was the night he knew that he loved her more than anything in the world. That night he knew that there was no turning back for him, because his heart had never been so full before this moment.

He was brought out of his day dream when she tugged on his hand. “Mama, Daddy, I want you both to meet the most important person to me. This is Javi.”

Mama came running around the other side of the bed with tears in her eyes as she wrapped her arms around him. He felt the air rush out of his body as he relished a motherly embrace for the first time in a long time. “I’ve heard nothing but good things about you,” she said, “it’s about time I finally meet you.”

He laughed. “I’m so happy to finally meet you, Ma’am.”

She slapped his shoulder. “Oh, please. It’s Mama.”

“Mama,” he replied. He stuck his hand out to your father’s and shook it with a firm handshake. “Nice to meet you, sir.”

Her father grinned at him and squeezed his hand a little harder. “Sir will do just fine.”

***

She was released from the hospital two days later, and Javi carried her everywhere. To the car, up the stairs, to their bed. She wanted for nothing. Her parents stayed at a nice hotel near the airport until they were ready to move back to Texas. The Embassy dropped off several boxes for the pair of them to pack their things and ship them back to the U.S. They gave Javi two more days to be gone before they were going to escort him to the airport. 

Everyone had come over to help pack their things, since Javi refused to let her lift a finger. “Javi, I love you, but you’re just going to throw everything in the boxes. I’ve seen how you fold laundry,” she said.

He smiled at her and kissed her lips. “Connie and Kate, along with your mother, are coming over to pack all the breakables. Steve, your dad, and I will take care of everything else.”

She shook her head. “Can I at least sit on the couch so I can talk to everyone?”

He sat next to her on the bed and rested his hand on her leg. “The second you get a headache, I’m carrying you back in here.”

She pulled him closer to him. “Deal,” she breathed against his lips before pushing him away. 

Javi laughed at her and leaned back down. “You can’t do that,” he smiled before kissing her.  Her hands trailed down his body. “Careful,” he said.

“Oh right,” she let go and pointed at her head. “I have a head injury.” There was a knock at the door. “You better get that.”

He kissed her again before walking out of the bedroom. He opened the door to welcome everyone to their home one last time. He saw her stumbling out of the bedroom wearing his blue button down and sweatpants. Javi watched her like a hawk as she made her way to the couch. He brought her Tylenol and water to take before handing her some orange juice. He kissed her hand before walking to Steve and her father ready to dismantle furniture to box up. 

Occasionally, he would peer over his shoulder to her to make sure she was okay. She was leaning against the couch, laughing and talking with everyone. He smiled a little at the sight and let out a small sigh. “Peña, get your head out of your ass,” Steve said, “and help me flip this table over. Why did you have to buy such a heavy one?”

Javi shrugged. “She liked it.”

Her father grinned and nodded, understanding why Javi bought the world’s heaviest table. “You couldn’t have persuaded her to get a lighter one?” Steve complained.

“I think she wanted to watch me struggle pulling this up the stairs,” Javi replied. 

Her father laughed this time. “Sounds just like her mother.”

He looked at his future father-in-law and smiled. “She certainly likes to keep me on my toes, that’s for sure.” He stopped what he was doing and walked to her father. “Sir, I know I asked her without asking you first, but I’d like to have your blessing.”

He looked over to his daughter and back to Javier and grinned. “You were able to do what I thought no one was capable of,” he began, “and I’ve never seen her happier. I know you’ll take good care of my little girl. Welcome to the family, Son.”

Javi held out his hand. “Thank you, sir.”

Her father wrapped him in a hug. “Call me Pop.”

Your POV

You glanced behind you and saw your father hugging Javi, and that made you light up at the sight. You took in a deep breath and relaxed against the sofa and smiled. Your mother noticed how peaceful you were, despite everything that had just happened. “So,” she said, putting your picture frames into boxes, “Have the two of you talked about the wedding?”

Your mind instantly jumped back to almost three years ago when Michael had first asked you to marry him. When your mother asked you that then, you panicked. Now, you felt at peace. Happy. “We don’t want a big wedding,” you said, “but we do want a rather large reception. We’ve also decided to wait until after the twins get here. He doesn’t want me to stress about the wedding until after I’ve given birth.”

Your mother grinned. “So, you’re shipping everything to Laredo?”

You nodded. “His father owns a ranch down there with a large guest house. Javi said, if he’s quitting the DEA, he should help Chucho run the ranch.”

She sighed. “At least you’re back in Texas.”

You leaned your head back against the couch and closed your eyes until you felt a hand touch your shoulder. “I found this,” Connie said, handing you an album. It was your engagement photos.

You frowned and took them from her. As you flipped through the book, you looked at the empty eyes you had and your feigned smile in these pictures. You had a feeling then that he was cheating, but you weren’t certain. And honestly, your life turned out better for it. You stood up and walked to the trash can where you shoved the whole album into it. “If you find any other pictures with Michael, pitch them,” you said, taking your seat back on the couch.

You glanced over at Javi and smiled at him, giving him a little wink. He smiled back and returned the sentiment. Several hours went by before your kitchen and living room were completely packed. Javi decided to leave packing the bedroom to the two of you, well mainly him while you watched. You rubbed the bridge of your nose and leaned forward. Within seconds, Javi was next to you picking you up in his arms. “I told you the second you got a headache, you were going to bed,” he said, “tell everyone good night.”

You smiled at him. “Eres tan terco.”

“Solo para ti, mi amor,” he whispered as he carried you off to bed.

You heard your mother loudly whisper to Kate, “You weren’t kidding. Fucking Prince Charming.”

His POV

They’d been living in Chucho’s guest house for roughly a week, and honestly, Javi couldn’t have been happier. Escobar was finally brought to justice, and he could sleep peacefully knowing there was one less dirtbag in the world. He had woken up early in the morning, watching the sunlight dance across her skin, making her glow even more. He’d never seen anything more beautiful as he caressed her hair, moving it out of her face. Her eyes fluttered open. She smiled at him and kissed him deeply. He moaned into her kiss and pulled her against him. “Are you sure you’re up for this?” he asked.

She laughed. “Doc said I had five to ten days before the headaches stopped. I haven’t had one in two days. Yes, I’m ready for this. I’ve gone long enough without it.”

He raised his eyebrows at her and smiled. “In that case, I’m going to enjoy a little…” he cleared his throat, “breakfast first.” He trailed kisses down her neck, as he slowly slid her pajama shirt off. 

“So, now I’m breakfast?” she laughed.

He continued his way down, pausing to kiss her stomach before making his way to her thighs. “Hermosa, you’re my favorite meal,” he said, inhaling her scent that was so intoxicating to him. 

His phone rang. He growled and sat up. “Who the fuck is calling at this hour? I swear to God if it’s Murphy, I will kill him.”

“Please don’t. You’re not going to want to find another best man.”

He rolled over and grabbed the phone. “What the fuck, Murphy? I’m a little busy at the moment.”

“Agent Peña,” a strange voice said at the other end of the line.

His blood went cold and he sat up straight. “Yes?”

“You need to report to Washington for a review of your case.”

“DEA?”

“DOJ,” they replied, “you’ll be expected tomorrow at 0-900.”

Translations

Necesitamos moverla. - We need to move her.

Soy su médico de cabecera. - I am her attending physician.

Nos conocimos el año pasado. Soy el Dr. Rodriguez. - We met last year. I’m Dr. Rodriguez.

Se quien eres. - I know who you are.

Dr. Rodriguez, te necesitan en cuidados intensivos. - Dr. Rodriguez, you’re needed in intensive care.

Disculpe. - Excuse me.

 No sé lo que haría sin ti, mi corazón. - I don’t know what I would do without you.

Voy a pasar el resto de mi vida haciendo las paces contigo. - I am going to spend the rest of my life making this up to you.

 Ella tiene fiebre alta. - She has a high fever.

Baño de hielo. - Ice bath

Llama al Dr. Rodriguez. - Call Dr. Rodriguez.

Te quiero  más que a nada en el mundo. Eres el amor de mi vida. ¿Te casarías conmigo, mi hermosa? - I love you more than anything. You are the love of my life. Will you marry me, mi hermosa?

Por supuesto, Javi. No quiero pasar mi vida con nadie más. - Of course, Javi. I don’t want to spend my life with anyone else.

Eres tan terco. - You’re so stubborn.

Solo para ti, mi amor. - Just for you, my love.

Tag list

@magneticbucky​ @larakasser​ @pedropascalownsmyheart​ @wander-lustbabe​ @frietiemeloen​

[throwaninkpot]

My reactions to reading RotT. Part 1!

seeing all the books listed before the title page. crying.

to sounis. crying.

I WAS JUST THINKING IN MY REREAD THAT A TABLE OF CONTENTS WOULD BE DOPE.

this would be why he's only just learning to read when we meet him in TaT. bc he has horrific ableist parents and his nurse probably can't read herself, and so she couldn't teach him even if she wanted to.

"I bit him hard on the ball" 😳 "--of his shoulder" 😑

"my father is easygoing" *6 pages later* "one time my father kicked me so hard I had to spend an entire winter in bed" pheris, I'll kill him for you.

good job, gen. take care of the child.

"not everything that is easy for you is easy for the rest of us" holy smokes.

the unified crest!!!! (it reminds me of gen's coat from the official art, but not quite.)

"people love a dancing bear. no one wants to be one."

matching embroidery. awwwwww.

gen, babe, I feel you. I feel you. somedays I would like to be dead if it meant not getting out of bed and seeing people, but I swear to the GODS, gen, don't even joke about being dead. don't you speak that into being.

"if you were dead, we couldn't just leave you alone" they've learned how to deal with him.

he smiles at pheris, and that's the first time he smiles in the books.

"attolia raised an eyebrow, too much a queen to say anything else." I am madly in love.

"at a very minor goddess's altar [...] he closed his eyes and lay still for some time" mystery goddess????????

there's a lot of pheris being distraught by noise and disorder and movement and touch. he liked watching the order of the servants and the bees back at the villa. that's all I'm saying. idk.

gen sees earrings and that Activates Interest, no mask can keep that excitement hidden. heiro is so funny and a good friend.

his family aggressively trying to trick and politick gen into self-care.

they're his family, I just realized. wife and cousins, now that sophos has married helen. sophos was his family in affection before, but now he is legally as well I'm emotions.

"there were eleven, a frustrating number" hmmm. the whole thing with the orange. hmmmm.

"smacking people will not persuade them" idk it worked for gen in KoA.

exchange on pg 71 feels vaguely directed at the fandom.

"as your kind always fall" OKAY, BUT. IS THAT THE FALL OF A THIEF? THE FALL OF A KING'S REIGN? WHAT KIND DOES MOIRA MEAN? IS HE STILL A THIEF?

"men fall in battle [...] they fall ill" SEE, THAT'S PRECISELY WHAT I'M AFRAID OF. H E C K.

"wouldn't it cause confusion having two cleons?" I'm entirely confident that megan whalen turner has never heard the name of jonny sims much less knows who he is and about his infamous naming conventions, but nonetheless, mwt has thrown some major shade at jonny sims.

"verimus pursued the poet lavia, who wrote terrible poetry about celia, one of the queen's attendants" oh?

"why a guard stared at layteres, the second son of baron xortix, and why layteres pretended so poorly not to notice" oh??

costis name drop!!!

"I remember this moment particularly because died clopius died trying to protect the king after the ambush at the roadside tomb" I'm sorry, what?

why do characters keeping writing in-universe fic mocking my boy

Bythesea. By the sea. I'm so angry.

What ambassador hurt Megan that she has to drag their ilk through the mud and fire so

What if Cenna were one of his sisters or a niece

"Costis may still be alive" I'm an idiot, bc of COURSE this takes place during his travels int he mede empire, bc pheris only just got here. but it took until this line for the timeline to click in my head. and for me to realize that irene is pregnant rn. we will see the pregnancy. and....what happens.

"oh, what a lie that was" I see, that is how they say I love you.

I'm so sad. Juridius loved him and used to be his brother. honestly, and you know I don't cuss, but fuck their parents and the household for making a child choose between loving his sibling and being treated well by the rest of his family.

he's singing "the king's wedding night". I can't, I can't. have you no shame, boy.

SOPHOS. XD

gen having a pitcher of water dumped on his head and then just crawling up a wall like a vengeful spider.

my laughter immediately turns to terror. gen, you were JUST given a prophecy that you will die from a fall. be careful!

I keep needing to take breaks bc this is So Much. just the reality of holding this and reading this and turning pages.

"unwanted attention he paid to the women of the court" what is it with sexist ambassadors in these books, huh?

excUSE ME? EXCuse ME? not even nahuserfush was so rude and forward as to call her "irene". please, go kindly impale yourself on gen's hook.

"ugly women do not?" ANSFKSGMDJSHHSV.

KILL.

KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL

oh, I feel physically sick.

they deserve that. they deserve a little rest, and to take over a council room for a nap and cuddles.

he sexually harrasses and assaults the queen, and HE thinks HE deserves an apology for receiving a modicrum of punishment. I hate that I'm not surprised. I've met his type.

how are people still coming to this country and underestimating them????????????

good, dite has him. dite will be a good influence.

pheris and juridius are both children. this is so cruel of erondites.

gen sailing over the fence. no one told me this was going to be a comedy.

oh.

I spoke too soon about the comedy.

genny.

the only person who has called him genny before was megan on her tumblr, so I read that message in megan's voice. it is also very like megan to request earrings.

the dolphin signet ring returns! (briefly.)

megan, how come relius gets to know how old pheris is but we don't? >:[

okay, enough hmm-ing. you know what? pheris has autism. I was kinda wondering even back in tat, and I'm just very happy.

"by then, I knew why the guard Legarus stared with such anger and misery at Baron Xortix's younger son" okay, this in the context of love and being in love. idk if that's just meant to be him being jealous maybe bc the baron's son is dating someone he likes? or? megan said Legarus the Awesomely Beautiful and Gay.

relius where did you go?????? establishing a spy network mayhaps??? with some kick butt spy ladies like heiro and agape???

"one would have thought relius would be done with love and lovers, but I'd seen a veritable parade of them. none of his affairs lasted long, and I'd witnessed several spats when he showed someone the door." s... s. sexy. sexy relius canon. why. why this. dear God, why this.

the art in the middle is BEAUTIFUL. but the two dead birds at the bottom left corner have me worried for symbolic reasons.

[hurt-spock]

Hollow

“Uhura, I'm really sorry. Would you like me to get one of the female nurses?”

Nyota Uhura lay on the bed in a private room on the Enterprise, her hands over her swollen stomach. She shook her head. “What happened?”

McCoy took one of her hands in his own. “You didn't do anything wrong. It was just one of those things. No one's to blame.”

They sounded like tired cliches that all doctors pulled out in this kind of situation, she thought. “Spock?”

“I haven't called him down yet, I wanted to speak to you first. I can break the news for you if you want?”

She went to answer before realising she didn't know what she wanted.

Could she face Spock and his blank, emotionless face? She loved him, she truly did, but he had been odd since she had found out she was pregnant. He hadn't been unsupportive exactly. In fact, he had done anything he could to support her and make sure she and the baby were healthy. He just didn't seem happy about it. She knew how he hid his joy and excitement as a Vulcan, knew all the tells that said, secretly, he was happy, and he hadn't been doing them. So, this loss, wouldn't be hard on him. She was certain. He'd be sad for her because he knew that she had been excited. Her mind was made up. “Would you? I don't think I'm ready to face him yet.”

“Of course I will. He will probably want to see you. Do you want me to give you some time?” She nodded. Smiled and cried at the same time. “Can I get anyone to be here with you?”

“Katie?” she said, hopeful.

“Wallis?” McCoy double-checked. He recalled seeing the women together fairly frequently. At Uhura's confirmation, he nodded. “Okay, I'll take care of it all for you. I'll give you some time and I'll come back and check on you soon.”

“Thank you,” she said.

As he closed the door and left her alone, she broke into sobs.

~

McCoy waited impatiently for Spock to arrive.

Spock was punctual and efficient but waiting for him to arrive, McCoy felt like he was the slowest being who lived. McCoy was certain that whatever task had been doing at the time, he hadn't bothered to stop and he'd continued it, to its completion, probably wrote a report about it too, maybe even had some lunch and then he'd left to see McCoy.

McCoy let out a huff. He was frustrated. Not with Spock but at the anxiety he had about telling Spock what had happened. He didn't know how he would take it. Spock and death seemed to go hand in hand since McCoy had known him. His mother, the majority of his race, Jim, Ambassador Spock. He needed a break from it, not yet another death.  

Bones and Spock had an antagonistic relationship. Those on the outside who didn't know them often took it as dislike for one another. Kirk said they were more like brothers. They sometimes didn't know their own limits and when to stop pushing one another's buttons.

McCoy knew that he could be an easy target for Spock. He had a number of things that seemed to trigger him. Spock, for the most part, didn't start things but he could say something that McCoy disagreed with easily enough. Spock dealt in cold hard facts. Or, calm logic, as Kirk would call it. But despite the logic, superior intellect and everything else he had going for him, Spock did still have his own buttons that could be pushed. The latest one McCoy had only recently discovered. He knew Vulcan's lived longer than humans, easily double the length of time but he hadn't considered that Spock was still considered a teenager to Vulcan's. He'd have had more fun with it if it didn't seem to be something that jarred Spock a little more than he'd have expected. He'd have to save it for it he was really pissed off with him.

When they had been stranded together on Altamid, he had really got a sense of Spock's real emotional depth. He had done his best to ignore Spock's uncharacteristic tears and while he knew that his hysterics moments later came from how sick he was when Spock plunged back into tears a little while later he knew it wasn't all there just because he was sick. It was there all the time, he just didn't allow it to show.

The door buzzed, jarring McCoy from his thoughts and moments later, the man he'd just been thinking of came into the room. He looked unsuspecting, McCoy thought. He probably thought this was to arrange the latest health check, which was coming soon and on the agenda. McCoy motioned for him to take a seat and he didn't offer him a drink, not even as a human nicety because he was certain Spock would say no anyway. He didn't want to trivialise this in any way.

Spock's dark eyes were upon him. He waited, silently for McCoy to begin.

“I'm just going to get right to it. Nyota lost the baby.”

Spock processed that information. His mouth slowly opened as if to speak and then slowly closed again. His mouth would twitch and his eyes searched. His brow pulled itself into a frown and yet he said nothing. Eventually, finally, he spoke. “When?”

“She was off duty and she had some spotting, which isn't uncommon, but it was more severe so she came for a check-up, just to be sure. There was no heartbeat.”

He gave Spock the information as plainly as he could and waited for Spock to digest it. He would have to tell Jim after he finished with Spock. Uhura was five months into the pregnancy so everyone knew. Jim would have to handle that.

When he looked back to Spock the Vulcan was looking at him. He looked lost. “I'm really sorry, Spock.” He was sincere and hoped he conveyed that enough in the simplicity of the statement. But it quickly came apparent that Spock was looking for guidance as to how to navigate his way through this unfamiliar territory. Spock's eye contact seemed to have become something of an unfocused stare which he soon dropped to something on McCoy's desk instead of the man himself.

“Uhura?”

Another one-word question. He was in shock, it seemed, his mind reeling from the information. “She needs a little time right now. Let her have some rest and I'll take you to her when she's ready.”

“She-” Spock didn't seem to progress from the statement, his eyes darting back and forth as though he were working on the meaning of life. It took a while but he seemed to come to his senses a little more. “She.. she will have to give birth.”

McCoy thought it was a question, but said as a statement. He answered anyway. Spock's voice sounded so hollow he wanted to scrub his brain out to remove all traces of it. “Unfortunately she will.” He hesitated to say more but went ahead anyway. “Sometimes it helps with the grieving, to go through birth. It's more of a complete cycle for the mother to go through.”

“I think-” Spock stood after those two words and stayed where he was. He didn't know what to do. His mouth was open and not saying anything and then he turned and headed for the door.

“Spock?” McCoy called out after him, but the other man had gone. He quickly went and checked and found that he had headed away from sickbay. He was probably returning to his quarters which is what McCoy hoped, as long as he didn't try to see Nyota then that was good enough for now.

He would check on Spock soon enough, but he needed to tell Jim first and he wanted to check on Uhura. They both had to deal with this loss but she was the one who was carrying it. She was the one whose body was preparing to birth a child and that had been snatched away from her. Plus she would have the extra guilt that she had provided the incorrect body for her own baby to survive in. Nyota was a smart woman and he knew her intelligence would help, but she would blame herself.  

~

Jim was finishing his shift when he met McCoy at the other end of the turbo-lift.

“Hey Bones,” he said cheerfully, seeing his friend. “I was just about to grab some lunch, you coming?”

“I need to talk to you about work,” Bones said. “Why don't you get lunch first and meet me in my quarters at about 13.00?”

Kirk nodded “Okay, I'll see you later.”

Bones forced the most genuine smile he could and headed for Spock's quarters. He knew Nyota had Lt Wallis with her currently and wanted to check in with Spock. He'd planned to tell Jim straight away but he wouldn't tell him before lunch. Jim knew if it had been urgent, Bones wouldn't have let it wait.

Spock seemed to have started to process things a little, or he was trying to anyway. It seemed to involve a lot of pacing and muttering things to himself that McCoy couldn't understand. He offered Spock silent support until it was time to meet with Jim. He'd come back again later, he promised Spock.

Bones arrived at his quarters to find Kirk casually waiting outside. “You were visiting Spock too?” Kirk said, having seen the doctor emerge from the quarters next to his own.

“Just waiting for you,” McCoy said and they both headed inside. He ordered the doors to be locked. He and Spock shared a bathroom and if he wanted too, Spock could gain access into McCoy's room. He never did but the fact that he could worry Bones right then, even though it was, in Spock's often used term, illogical. He pulled out a seat for Jim and took the other for himself. He poured them both a drink while he started talking. “They lost the baby,” he said simply.

“What?” Jim said, shocked.

“Uhura had some bad bleeding and when I checked there was no heartbeat.”

“Damn,” Kirk said. “How are they?”

“As you'd expect I guess.”

“Wait, Spock's not with Uhura?”

“She didn't want to see him straight away. I think she needed some comfort from a friend first.”

Kirk's brow creased. “Damn,” he muttered before a more forceful “Damn!!” Kirk knocked back the drink and held the glass out for another which he followed straight down before he left the glass on the desk and got up. “How's Spock?”

McCoy puffed out air from his mouth. “Processing. It's like waiting for a file to download,” he gently teased.

Kirk barely listened to his friend. “I'm going to request emergency shore leave for the crew. This is gonna kill morale.”

Jim had a lot of different levels to process this. As a friend to both of them, as a Captain and what it meant to lose both of them from their positions temporarily and then also the overall effect on the rest of the crew.”I'm gonna go and get some things sorted. Do you need anything from me?”

McCoy shook his head. “Maybe just check in with them both tomorrow?” He wanted to give them both a chance to get over the shock of what had happened.

“Yeah, of course,” Kirk said. “Thanks, Bones,” he said patting the other man on the arm as he stood and left.

~

“Nyota?”

No one said her name like Spock did. There was a certain poetry to the way the words came together in his mouth that most humans just could not replicate. She closed her eyes at the sound of it as a tear leaked from her eyes.

Katie was still sat in the chair beside the bed, holding Uhura's hand in both of hers. Sadness radiated from her face but a strong resolve too. “I can stay if you want me to. I'll make him go,” she said softly, for Nyota's ears only.

Spock heard her of course, his hearing was immaculate but he pretended he didn't.

“It's okay. Thank you for being with me,” Nyota said softly. Katie smiled and hugged her friend and as she pulled back she kissed her forehead. “I'll come back tomorrow,” she promised and she moved past where Spock still stood in the doorway, waiting for her permission to come in.

Nyota couldn't find her voice but nodded at Spock. She wasn't ready to see him but she knew she never truly would be. In stark contrast to Katie who rushed to her side and cried with her, Spock stood at a distance and couldn't look at her. This was why she hadn't wanted him here with her. “Sit down,” she said. It might have sounded harsher if she's had the energy for it. She wasn't mad at him, she was just tired. So damn tired.

“I am sorry,” Spock said. He was eyeing her bump and his eyes didn't leave it.

She swallowed harshly. “My face is up here,” she said with dark humour that was lost on him and he tore his eyes away from it and locked with hers. His eyes were a mirror of the indescribable pain and loss in her own and they both looked away from one another, as though the hurt was just too much to bear. When she had the strength to look again, Spock's eyes were back on the bump and, out of habit, she put her hands protectively over it. “It doesn't feel any different,” she said, she thought her voice might sound empty. She doubted Spock would notice.

A spark of anger flared in her. The only thing she could focus on other than her loss was Spock and his indifference to her pregnancy to begin with. “Why weren't you excited?” she asked him.

His eyes travelled up to hers again, for a moment. “I was.”

“I slept beside you nearly every night. You wouldn't go near me. Does pregnancy revolt Vulcans?” She questioned but not giving him a chance to answer she continued. “It's fine if that's the case, I know there are a lot of things Vulcan's don't like to talk about. It's not exactly your fault.” There was an accusation in those words.

“Pregnancy is... a wonderful thing,” Spock eventually said. He was slow to respond and careful with his words. Uhura didn't know if it were for his own benefit or for hers.

“Just my pregnancy then?” she frowned.

“I am sorry if I did not give you the support you needed-” Spock started.

“That's not what I want to hear, Spock.” Focusing on him, what he did wrong helped her feel something. It was hurtful and for now, it was something other than loss, so she grabbed for it with both hands. She looked at him carefully. He looked lost. “You don't know how to do this, do you?”

“Do you?”

“I just want to know why you …. you didn't care?” The emotion escaped her then, was clear for him to hear.

Something twisted painfully in Spock's side. He had failed. Failed horribly. “Nyota, of course I cared,” he said. “I was... I was disappointed in myself that the pregnancy came about after Pon Farr.” he said, trying to explain.

She took a moment, processing what he said. “So... you didn't want the baby?” She misunderstood his sentiment.

“No,-”

“No?”

“That is not what I meant. I-” But he did not say anything more. It was as though he were physically unable to say another word. He was frozen.

Uhura seemed to realise that, after a few moments waiting for him to explain himself. “You should just go,” she said eventually. Any anger that had been there before had left her. She was just tired. She wanted to sleep. And cry.

He shook his head but he still couldn't bear to speak a word.

“Please, Spock. Please go,” she asked, almost begged him.

The door behind them opened as McCoy stepped inside. “Spock, I told you to wait-” he started but the Vulcan turned and left.

McCoy had no idea what had happened but he saw Uhura crumble and he went to her side and held her as she wailed. For her loss. For her baby.  

~

McCoy was laying on the bed, Uhura cradled against him, her eyes closed but not sleeping. He'd held her while she cried. She felt like she'd never stop but eventually, she couldn't cry any more. The pain was still there, undeniably so, but she just couldn't cry.

Once enough time had passed, McCoy gently started to talk to her. “Are you okay?” it was a stupid question given the circumstances but he expected the answer he got. “No.” “Jim's trying to get some emergency shore leave sorted. Get you and Spock off the ship if you like?”

“I don't know that I want to go anywhere. And I don't know that me and Spock are even a thing any more.”

McCoy held her a little tighter. “Come on, neither of you broke up with another, right?”

I don't know,” Uhura said. She sounded defeated.

“He looked broken when he left,” McCoy said.

She thought about Spock's words. “He said he didn't want the baby because Pon Farr. Little bit late afterward, isn't it?”

McCoy detected anger in her tone. It was to be expected. “Did he say why?”

“He just froze up,” she closed her eyes and rested her head against him.

“I can see how that would hurt considering that is how you got pregnant. But maybe there's more too it. Give yourselves a little time and then talk, okay?”

She nodded. Knew he was right. She dissolved into sobs again. “I thought we were safe.”

McCoy kissed the top of her head, feeling every moment of her pain. “I know you did.”

~

Spock left Uhura as she asked him too but he didn't know what to do once he left.

Everything made him want to go back inside and hold her. But even he knew he was so fundamentally not emotionally prepared to comfort her right now.

“Spock?” Came a familiar voice. He couldn't place it but he knew it, so he turned towards it.

The Captain came over to him. Apparently, he had been waiting. “Come with me,” Kirk said as he gently took Spock by the elbow and took him into the closest conference room. He had to physically push Spock into a seat and then got him a glass of water. It remained in front of Spock, untouched.

“How is she?” Kirk asked.

“She is upset.”

“Yeah,” Was all Kirk could say. Spock struggled to control his emotions at the best of times. Jim didn't know how to handle it. No one would really want to talk about such a personal thing anyway, but with Spock he was always aware of his control. He had, after all, been on the receiving end of Spock's emotional outburst and it did not feel good. True, he had been provoking it, but after all the loss Spock had suffered maybe it had made his resolve weaker, not stronger. “I don't know what to do,” Kirk admitted. “Is there anything you need me to do for you?”

Spock shook his head. “I think I would like to go back to my quarters and meditate.”

Kirk nodded. “Of course, I'm heading to my quarters now. I'll accompany you.” He didn't ask, he wanted to make sure he intercepted anyone who may consider talking to Spock along the way. Spock didn't object and the pair left together.

~

By the following afternoon, Kirk had discreetly held meetings with the staff about the situation with Uhura and Spock. Both of their shifts had been covered, Spock's for a week, Uhura for two, but he hoped to get authorisation for the shore leave anyway and it wouldn't matter. He doubted that Spock would agree to spend a week off duty but he would deal with that when and if he had too.

He had also gone to Uhura as her first visitor that morning. She'd cried. He had joined her. They said very little. He held her hand comforted her the best he could.

Later that morning, he had a meeting with McCoy and they discussed Uhura's condition. McCoy outlined his plan to go through the birth with her later that afternoon and that they would discuss what she and Spock wanted to do with the baby. He didn't know- and couldn't find out- if Vulcan's had any practices with such a loss and  there was no saying that Uhura would consider it right now. Her grief was consuming her right now and she still had to go through a very difficult process. Being forced to birth your dead baby was horrific and it was something that, despite what anyone told her, she would have to do alone. They could support her, hold her hand through it but it was she who had to deliver it still, knowing what the outcome was.

Jim busied himself with duty but he watched the time. He could barely keep him mind off of Uhura's plight. It was unfair. Couldn't they have this one thing? Would it really have screwed up some universal plan to have allowed them their happiness?

He needed a drink at the end of this shift

~

It was over.

The worst thing she would ever have to do.

McCoy had been with her through it all, just one nurse assisting. Spock was there too, a vague, shapeless lump in her peripheral vision. McCoy offered her the comfort she needed while the nurse took care of the birthing of the baby.

Uhura knew as soon as it was over it was the end of everything. She felt as though she would fall to pieces and couldn't stop herself from letting the tidal waves of grief and loss out. McCoy held her tightly, never wavering for a minute.

The nurse told Spock she was going to clean the baby up and they could spend some time with her. He nodded mutely. Uhura barely remembered he was there. The nurse wrapped the baby in a blanket and put a small hat on her head. She cradled her like the delicate and precious bundle that she was, she smiled brightly at the baby, even though she knew the heartbreak of the situation. She showed the baby to Spock but gave her to Uhura who was desperate to hold her baby when she saw her.

She would have bet she couldn't have cried any more that day, but she could. She wasn't done by a long shot.

“We'll give you some time together,” McCoy said and he left with the nurse. She didn't even look to see if Spock stayed or went but eventually, he moved closer, slowly, as though she might scream at him to leave forever.

She talked quietly to the baby. She never wanted to let her go. The feeling of holding her in her arms was something she hadn't realised she craved until she had it. It made the loss even harder. Eventually, Spock right beside the bed by now, she looked at him.

“Would you like to?”

He still looked like he had done yesterday. Heartbroken and shocked, but he nodded his head and she carefully passed the bundle to him. She missed her the second she was gone. Spock didn't talk. He just looked at her and held her, for longer than Uhura thought he would. He too seemed to not want to let her go. Her behaviour with him yesterday came back to taunt her. She hadn't been that patient with him and she wished she had. She felt fresh tears in her eyes and she reached for Spock's hand, to touch him. He misread the touch as her want for the babies return and passed her back. Uhura took her even though she wanted to tell him he didn't have to give her back yet, but she wanted her back, she missed her. Her arms ached for her return. She settled her in her arm again and reached for Spock again.

“I'm sorry,” she said. Her emotion, her loss and devastation hit her again. It kept coming in like waves and she didn't think it would ever end.

Spock just shook his head and held her hand. He couldn't offer the same support of her human friends but he still loved her and he still cared for her and he was the only other person in the universe that felt how she did right now. They stood like that for a long time until Uhura moved over on the bed and patted it for him to join her. He did and she held the baby closer to him.

They stayed like that until McCoy returned and said he needed to take the baby. He gave them another few minutes more together and then returned and collected the tiny bundle from them. “I'll take good care of her,” he promised them.

“Thank you,” Uhura said.

(TBC)

[fmbishop]

*  I'VE   GOT   MY   VEINS   ALL   TANGLED   CLOSE . 

                       *      ╰         chicago’s   very   own  𝐞𝐥𝐢𝐣𝐚𝐡 𝐛𝐢𝐬𝐡𝐨𝐩  has   been   spotted   on   madison   avenue   driving   a   1960   vintage   jeep   bronco   ,   welcome   !   your   resemblance   to   𝒈𝒓𝒂𝒚𝒔𝒐𝒏   𝒅𝒐𝒍𝒂𝒏   is   unreal   .   according   to   tmz   ,   you   just   had   your   twenty   -   first      birthday   bash   .   your   chance   of   surviving   new   york   is   uncertain   because   you’re            𝒄𝒉𝒖𝒓𝒍𝒊𝒔𝒉   ,   but   being   𝒔𝒕𝒆𝒂𝒅𝒇𝒂𝒔𝒕   might   help   you   .   i   think   being   a   taurus   explains   that   .      3   things   that   would   paint      a      better   picture   of   you   would   be         𝒑𝒆𝒆𝒍𝒆𝒅   𝒔𝒌𝒂𝒕𝒆𝒃𝒐𝒂𝒓𝒅   𝒈𝒓𝒊𝒑   𝒕𝒂𝒑𝒆   ,   𝒅𝒂𝒓𝒌   𝒄𝒊𝒓𝒄𝒍𝒆𝒔   𝒃𝒆𝒏𝒆𝒂𝒕𝒉   𝒕𝒊𝒓𝒆𝒅   𝒆𝒚𝒆𝒔   ,   &   𝒌𝒏𝒆𝒆𝒔   𝒂𝒏𝒅   𝒑𝒂𝒍𝒎𝒔   𝒓𝒖𝒃𝒃𝒆𝒅   𝒓𝒂𝒘   .            (   i   cut   ties   with   my   best   friend   and   collaborator   because   i   was   secretly   in   love   with   her   ,   but   our   publicist   had   her   date   my   brother   instead   .   )      &   (   cis   male   +   he   /   him   )   +   (   ruby   ,   18+   ,   she   /   her   ,   pst   )


𝒊       .        𝒔𝒕𝒂𝒕𝒔       .

𝒏𝒂𝒎𝒆   :   elijah   alexander   bishop 𝒏𝒊𝒄𝒌𝒏𝒂𝒎𝒆𝒔   :      eli   ,   e   .   from   his   loved   ones   ,   he   recieves   variations   on   ellie   ,   ugly   ass   mustache   head   ,   tony   hawk   ,   and   zumiez   employee   of   the   month   . 𝒂𝒈𝒆   :      twenny   -   won 𝒛𝒐𝒅𝒊𝒂𝒄   :   taurus 𝒐𝒄𝒄𝒖𝒑𝒂𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏   :   professional   skateboarder   and   youngest   x   games   gold   medalist   in   history   ,   brand   ambassador   for   several   skate   fashion   brands   ,   established   youtube   vlogger   ,   and   aspiring   filmmaker   . 𝒈𝒆𝒏𝒅𝒆𝒓   𝒊𝒅𝒆𝒏𝒕𝒊𝒕𝒚   /   𝒑𝒓𝒐𝒏𝒐𝒖𝒏𝒔   :   cis   male   /   he   him   his 𝒐𝒓𝒊𝒆𝒏𝒕𝒂𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏   :   heterosexual   ,   heteroromantic 𝒉𝒆𝒊𝒈𝒉𝒕   :   5’11 𝒍𝒂𝒃𝒆𝒍𝒔   :   the   black   sheep   ,   the   despondent   ,   the   fallen   angel   ,   the   isolato   ,   the   intangible   concept   ,   the   dirtbag   ,   the   doryphore 𝒌𝒆𝒚         𝒕𝒓𝒂𝒊𝒕𝒔      :      -   churlish   ,   emotionally   reserved   ,   hesitant   ,   resentful   ,   self   -   sabotaging +   steadfast   ,   benevolent   ,   chivalrous   ,   reliable   ,   down   to   earth   𝒉𝒐𝒈𝒘𝒂𝒓𝒕𝒔   𝒉𝒐𝒖𝒔𝒆   :      hufflepuff 𝒔𝒐𝒏𝒈   𝒊𝒏𝒔𝒑𝒐𝒔   :   that’s   on   me   -   mac   miller   /   obstacle   1   -   interpol   /   just   my   luck   -   marc   e   bassy   &   blackbear   /   EARFQUAKE   -   tyler   the   creator /   superfast   jellyfish   -   gorillaz   /   here   comes   a   feeling   -   louis   the   child   /   horseshoes   and   handgrenades   -   green   day  /   boys   don’t   cry   -   the   cure   /   SUGAR   -   brockhampton  /   slow   dancing   in   the   dark   -   joji   /   come   back   to   earth   -   mac   miller   /   swing   ,   swing   -   the   all   american   rejects  

𝒊𝒊       .    𝒃𝒂𝒄𝒌𝒔𝒕𝒐𝒓𝒚    .

harold   and   lillian   bishop   welcome   the   heirs   to   the   bishop   throne   on   an   early   may   morning   .   ceo   of   the   multi-billion   dollar   bishop   industries   construction   empire   ,   and   partner   of   the   bishop   &   franklin   international   law   firm   respectively   ,   the   boys   enter   into   the   shadow   of   a   last   name   prepared   to   build   onto   its   own   legacy   .   eli   comes   into   the   light   moments   after   his   brother   ,   a   hand   firmly   grasped   onto   the   ankle   of   his   twin   ,   victorious   to   emerge   into   the   world   first   .   parallel   to   the   biblical   brothers   jacob   and   esau   ,   his   nurse   notes   ,   but   his   parents   pay   no   mind   .   on   the   whim   of   a   meaningless   sequence   ,   the   elder   twin   is   delegated   as   the   champion   of   the   bishop   legacy   ,   to   bear   the   weight   of   their   family   empire   and   its   subsequent   legacy   on   his   shoulders   with   pride   .

elijah   ,   on   the   heel   of   his   brother   ,      isaiah   ,   by   a   mere   fraction   of   a   second   ,   bears   the   weight   of   his   second-coming   due   to   such   a   christening   for   the   rest   of   his   upbringing   .

the   black   sheep   is   perhaps   too   delicate   of   a   phrasing   to   explain   the   conflict   stirring   daily   in   the   bishop   household   ,   a   family   of   perfection   —   and   elijah   ,   the   foil   to   them   all   ,   a   failure   by   definition   ,   perhaps   crafted   simply   to   emphasize   the   feats   of   his   twin   brother   .   he’s   smaller   ,   scrawnier   ,   slower   to   pick   up   school   work   and   requiring   relentless   tutoring   and   support   throughout   his   elementary   school   years   .   sensitive   and   introverted   ,   he   spends   the   first   decade   of   his   life   cowering   behind   isaiah   as   a   shield   ,   receiving   constant   critiques   of   not   enough   ,   not   good   enough   ,   not   close   enough   to   —

he   tries   not   to   focus   on   his   shortcomings   ,   as   plentiful   as   his   parents   may   convince   him   that   there   may   be   .   any   expression   other   than   a   stoic   compliance   is   seen   as   contumacious   ,   swiftly   corrected   with   a   ‘   i   wish   you   would   be   more   like   your   brother   .   ’      eli   withers   into   himself   shortly   after   his   12th   birthday   ,   the   onset   of   puberty   and   a   discovery   for   a   natural   athletic   inclination   giving   him   some   semblance   of   musculature   ,   his   jaw   sharpening   and   gaze   taking   a   similar   harshness   .   his   body   becomes   a   fortress   ,   the   only   protection   he   can   implement   as   his   brother   begins   to   split   from   him   ,   taking   on   more   responsibility   as   the   twins   are   brought   increasingly   into   the   spotlight   of   their   family   name   and   fortune   .

each   moment   harboring   a   critique   only   stokes   resentment   behind   each   clenched   jaw   and   tight   lipped   smile   eli   has   to   fake   .   he   knows   its   all   for   show   ,   his   brother   is   the   only   true   heir   written   into   their   legacy   regardless   of   what   path   he   chooses   to   take   .   bearing   the   weight   of   a   whole   family   tree   of   disappointment   ,   eli   takes   on   odd   hobbies   and   begins   to   compose   bits   and   pieces   of   himself   as   the   him   he   wants   to   be   ,   dismantling   the   illusion   composed   by   expectations   to   mirror   his   infallible   brother   .   by   13   ,   his   secretive   hobby   becomes   an   increasingly   viable   career   in   skateboarding   ,   by   17   ,   he’s   hired   his   own   agent   and   moves   out   on   his   own   to   escape   the   increasing   burdens   of   being   the   bishop   legacy   disappointment   .   his   parents   all   but   excommunicate   him   ,   and   he   spends   spans   of   month-long   silences   between   them   with   only   his   brother   to   bridge   such   gaps   .   eli   is   gnarled   and   hidden   away   from   the   glitz   and   glamour   he   had   grown   so   comfortable   with   ,   navigating   his   shattered   self-image   and   desire   to   amount   to   something   entirely   on   his   own —   but   at   the   very   least   ,   he’s   free   .

it’s   a   tabloid’s   dream   ,   the   black   sheep   of   the   bishop   family   ,   reuniting   with   his   herd   for   their   move   to   new   york   .   eli   is   resentful   and   bitter   at   the   idea   of   uprooting   himself   ,   but   it’s   his   brother’s   impassioned   pleas   of   a   reunion   that   soften   eli’s   resolve   and   cause   the   young   skateboarding   sensation   to   follow   the   rest   of   his   distant   family   to   new   york   .   his   brother   assures   him   with   honeyed   promises   of   a   family   reunited   ,   a   change   of   heart   of   their   parents’      callousness   ,   a   desire   to   see   the   bishops   as   one   .     their   father’s   upcoming   retirement   and   a   supposed   reflection   on   the   cruelty   imposed   on   his   brother   are   all   cited   as   reasons   why   eli   should   just   come   with   them   .      and   eli   ,   hardened   and   bitter   to   all   but   the   implorations   of   his   brother   (   and   perhaps   a   gnawing   desire   for   some   sort   of   familial   validation   after   a   lifetime   of   being   dubbed   the   disappointment   ,   )   begrudgingly   follows   through   .

their   parents   do   not   .

it   awakens   a   particular   emotion   within   eli   to   see   his   parents   for   the   first   time   in   nearly   2   years   and   be   received   with   the   same   coldness   he   had   been   seen   off   with   at   their   last   meeting   .   backhanded   compliments   follow   fronthanded   insults   and   it   ends   with   eli   and   his   father   in   a   screaming   match   ,   fingers   jabbed   dangerously   into   chests   and   tempers   on   full   blare   .   the   betrayal   comes   not   from   a   set   of   parents   who   didn’t   want   him   —   eli   knew   it   was   entirely   too   good   to   be   true   to   be   taken   as   the   prodigal   son   .   the   betrayal   ,   he   laments   ,   is   in   the   falsities   told   by   his   brother   ,   the   one   person   who   had   spent   so   long   protecting   him   and   had   now   allowed   him   to   walk   without   guard   into   the   lion’s   den   .   eli   knows   his   brother   had   nothing   but   the   best   of   intentions   and   keeps   him   as   the   sole   bishop   contact   :   this   is   the   last   he   talks   to   his   parents   after   years   of   torment   .

they   stay   in   new   york   together   and   fill   their   time   with   work   and   the   occasional   youtube   video   at   the   behest   of   their   management   ,   random   vlogs   that   surprisingly   take   off   .   the   bishop   twins   become   something   of   an   internet   sensation   —   isaiah   a   charming   and   composed   law   student   ,   eli   a   brooding   and   unkempt   skater   boy   ,   with   a   dynamic   that   viewers   are   quick   to   fall   in   love   with   .   they   turn   out   content   on   a   regular   basis   ,   building   a   fanbase   through   their   vlogs   that   begs   for   collaborations   and   ‘   linking   up   .   ‘   they   go   through   the   motions   of   collabs   until   one   particular   set   of   youtubers   have   a   chemistry   with   the   twins   that   their   fans   eat   up   .   quickly   hired   to   the   same   management   team   ,   the   bishops   create   a   mini   vlog   squad   with   their   friends   ,   a   dynamic   that   finds   eli   more   emotionally   invested   than   he’d   care   to   admit   .   but   forever   the   self   -   saboteur   ,   he   keeps   himself   from   admitting   these   feelings   to   their   collaborator   ,   repressing   them   until   an   email   from   their   publicist   reveals   plans   to   have   her   date   isaiah   for   the   sake   of   views   .

eli   ,   despite   having   kept   his   feelings   from   practically   everyone   in   his   life   ,   takes   the   move   personally   and   cuts   off   all   work   with   their   collaborator   , �� the   ensuing   drama   being   enough   to   keep   his   publicist   happy   despite   whatever   happens   between   her   and   his   brother   .   their   group   goes   back   to   being   a   duo   ,   a   secret   for   eli   to   keep   perhaps   to   his   grave   ,   and   he   pushes   to   forge   on   with   creating   a   name   for   himself   out   of   the   shadow   of   his   family   .

(   um   for   context   slash   anyone   who   knew   version   one   of   eli   we’re   gonna   say   he   got   sick   of   the   celeb   world   and   went   backpacking   through   southern   asia   w   no   phone   n   no   outside   contacts   ,   just   recently   returned   to   ny   after   the   past   2   months   of   isolation   !   )

𝒊𝒊𝒊       .       𝒅𝒊𝒔𝒑𝒐𝒔𝒊𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏

i’m   so   excited   to   bring   eli   back   .   …      i   love   wealthy   sm   lemme   give   y’all   a   few   bullets   for   the   rundown   of   the   uglie   mean   sk8r   boi   that   u   should   all   say   ‘   see   u   l8r   boi   ‘

as   the   bio   implies   ,   he   had   a   really   tough   upbringing   in   the   shadow   of   his   perfect   brother   .   a   lot   of   his   parents’   cruelty   resulted   in   the   personality   he   has   now   .

eli   is   most   known   for   his   resentment   of   wealth   and   fame   .   in   the   celeb   world   ,   he’s   always   known   as   the   one   who’s   just   a   normal   guy   .   super   down   to   earth   and   constantly   critiquing   ppl   who   let   the   fame   get   to   their   head

in   a   way   ,   he   gets   this   weird   sense   of   superiority   that’s   super   hypocritical   ?   like   he   thinks   he’s   better   than   the   rich   ppl   bc   he   doesn’t   act   boujie   ..   .   .   .   but   ?   he’s   rich   too   ?   just   bc   ur   chinos   r   ripped   doesnt   make   u   better   than   anyone   else   u   dumb   bitch

super   ,   and   i   cannot   emphasize   this   enough   ,   SUPER   emotionally   constipated   .   he   acts   like   he’s   above   it   all   to   serve   as   his   defense   mechanism   bc   on   the   real   he’s   terrified   of   being   rejected   by   people   the   way   his   own   parents   rejected   him   .   his   solution   ?   if   u   act   like   u   don’t   give   a   shit   ,   nobody   can   hurt   u   .

if   he’s   not   angry   ranting   ,   he’s   honestly   p   stoic   .   nobody   knows   what   he’s   thinkin   or   feelin   which   is   how   he   likes   it   .   it   gets   real   annoying   when   he   keeps   playing   the   cool   disconnected   guy   n   ur   like   ‘   what   do   u   want   for   lunch   ‘   n   he’s   like   ‘   i   dont   give   a   fuck   ‘   n   ur   like   ‘   we   know   dumbass   edgelord   we   still   gotta   EAT   tho   ‘

on   that   ranting   note   ,   he’s   usually   pretty   reserved   and   calm   during   things   like   interviews   or   talking   to   fans   .   when   he’s   in   touchier   situations   ,   his   defense   mechanism   is   to   switch   to   his   hairpin   trigger   hostility   .

ig   he   feels   like   he   has   something   to   prove   by   being   the   tough   guy   so   he   just   ?   gets   mad   super   easily   instead   of   processing   his   feelings   like   a   normal   person   ?   he   detaches   himself   from   his   emotions   bc   he   has   a   really   fucked   sense   of   self   -   worth   and   has   an   eternal   belief   he’s   not   worthy   of   happiness   so   he’ll   sabotage   himself   to   no   end

shockingly   sensitive   and   will   hold   onto   his   pain   as   if   to   fuel   him   .   he   takes   disloyalty   personally   and   will   often   hold   onto   abandonment   or   slights   that   happened   years   ago   because   they   genuinely   affected   him   ,   even   if   he   didn’t   show   so   at   the   time   .

in   terms   of   the   celeb   life   :   he’s   p   low   key   .   isn’t   much   of   a   partier   bc   he   has   social   anxiety   sdfsd   but   he’s   comfy   sipping   a   beer   on   the   patio   as   long   as   everyone   else   stays   inside   lmao   .   he’s   cool   w   hookups   but   isn’t   actively   sleeping   around   ?   like   he   could   prob   live   like   a   fuckboy   but   rlly   surprises   u   when   he   doesn’t   do   the   fuckboy   thing   ..   …   .   it’s   the   sensitive   boy   in   him   or   somethin   idk..   .   ..   mayb   he   just   can’t   care   enough   ..   ..      it’s   the   apathy   …   .

when   he’s   not   seeing   red   ,   he’s   rational   man   meant   to   BUST   everyone’s   stupidity   .   usually   the   only   mfer   w   common   sense   in   the   squad   to   plan   ahead   n   shit   but   if   someone   pushes   his   homies   ?   eli   comes   out   SWINGING   n   then   avoids   all   the   tabloids   about   him   sloppy   fighting   in   the   club   like   he’s   mariah   carey   n   can’t   read   or   somethin

cannot   flirt   for   the   life   of   him   ,   says   dumb   shit   like   ‘   u   smell   nice   ‘   and   hopes   his   muscles   do   all   the   talking   lmao   fuckin   BEEFCAKE

on   the   real   ,   when   he’s   calm   n   collected   he   can   be   surprisingly   sweet   and   this   is   when   the   down   to   earth   comes   in   .   doesn’t   get   attached   to   many   but   to   the   few   he   does   ,   he   defends   to   the   end   and   is   the   type   to   sacrifice   whatever   it   is   to   protect   them   .   this   mans   LOVES   his   friends   and   ppl   are   surprised   to   see   how   kind   he   can   b   bc   he’s   usually   masking   his   kindness   with   his   brutishness   lmao   .      

he’s   also   ?   surprisingly   funny   ?   we’ll   see   abt   that   tho   bc   most   of   his   shit   is   deadpan

most   of   the   time   :   just   fuckin   .   mean   as   hell   sdfsdf

anarchist   mfer   !   he   said   FUCK   the   system   ,   it’s   a   big   skate   energy   and   he   tries   to   be   as   creative   and   undefined   as   possible   .   follows   random   whims   as   he   learns   to   be   less   self   conscious   bc   now   he’s   his   own   brand   and   doesn’t   have   to   always   think   about   ‘   whats   best   for   the   family   ’   and   all   that   bs   !   he’s   rlly   passionate   abt   skate   culture   and   originality   and   is   a   really   big   outspoken   feminist  /  social   activist    bc   what’s   more   punk   than   dismantling   the   patriarchy  and  other  oppressive  power   structures  ?

on   that   note   .   lowkey   .   a   simp   KWHRJWE   he   acts   hard   and   won’t   let   any   man   come   after   him   but   he’s   afraid   2   be   mean   to   girls   n   lets   most   of   his   female   friends   bully   him   while   he   does   the   office   stare   in2   the   camera   .

i   always   stick   random   blurbs   downhere   but   the   mans   is   vegan   ,   cares   more   about   his   car   than   anything   ,   spends   most   of   his   time   in   his   ratty   skate   clothes   that   barely   get   washed   bc   they   ‘   hold   the   energy   better   ’   (   nastie   )   ,   if   it   aint   sk8   shoes   its   socks   w   sandals   n   he   doesn’t   get   whats   wrong   w   that   ,   he’s   a   hufflepuff   n   a   ISTJ-T   myers   briggs  (  The  Logistician  )   ,   n   tbh   he   really   just   appreciates   the   little   things   in   life   ?   thats   eli   my   lil   meat   head   .

[starr-fall-knight-rise]

Humans are Space Orcs “The Slime”

Hello everyone, sorry I have been busy and haven’t posted as much as normal, but it’s been busy and will be for another week. However, I wanted to give Krill a little screen-time after Sunny became so popular. So this one takes place before she joined the crew. I hope you like it :) Fell free to question message, comment ask, give ideas and prompts. 

The conference hall for the Galactic Assembly hall was awash in chaos. Captain Vir sat wide eyed next to krill (temporary representative of earth while the ambassador was away). The Assembly members argued over each other raised voices becoming even more agitated than the ones before.

“ORDER, ORDER I SAY” A loud hammering broke through the noise, and the gathered assembly took to their seats eyes wide with fright.

The chairwoman folded her posterior appendages to the front, “I will have order. Panic will do nothing for us. As it seems, the Gromm’s home world has been overrun by a virulent plague. Unfortunately, we are not sure of the exact nature of the disease. Before their scientists could come to us with their discovery all communications had gone dark….. We fear we may have lost them.”

“That’s not right.” The entire assembly hall turned to look at the human. Krill sunk behind the desk in embarrassment.

“You have something to say, human?”

Captain Vir looked awkwardly down at the desk for a moment before taking a deep breath and standing up, “Well aren’t you going to send someone. The CDC or a hazmat team, you can’t just leave them to die out there, can you? Not if there is soemthing that can be done.” The entire hall rumbled with assent to the human’s words.

The chairwoman leaned back eyeing the human, “Tell me than, what makes you qualified to make such suggestions.” The hall grumbled again

“Well, I come from a world that has had a ton of plagues and diseases as you know, the black plague, Spanish influenza, smallpox, bird flu to name a few. And every time that happened, someone came in to help. Take Ebola as an example, a hemorrhagic fever originating near the Ebola River that, as the name suggests, causes massive internal bleeding with fever. It is so contagious that you can catch it through contact with bodily fluids, from dead bodies, and (After a particular mutation) through contact with the air. It has somewhere between a 50-90% fatality rate without treatment. And despite that, when outbreaks happen we don’t just leave those people to die. Volunteer doctors and nurses went in with hazmat suits to take care of those people. Some of them died, some of them caught the disease, and others saved a lot of lives.”

The room was surprisingly quiet. Krill was surprised too, they knew humans to be a warlike species, but they hadn’t known them to be so…. Caring. To risk death to help those who may not be saved?

“A touching story, Captain, but how does that help us?”

Captain Vir crossed his arms, “If I can contact Earth, and find someone who is willing to help, I will personally fly them in myself to provide security.”

***

“Why did you agree to this?” Krill wondered uneasily watching as the captain and the rest of the volunteer medical team began strapping on their hazmat uniforms. Behind his clear plastic mask, the captain grinned fogging up the glass face, “Because, someone’s gotta do it, and besides, humans have the best immune systems this side of the galaxy.”

Krill grumbled slightly, “Maybe to earth diseases, which are disgusting, but not to alien diseases.”

“I thought you were a surgeon, not an infectious disease specialist.”

“I still went to medical school.” Krill grumbled, “Now remember captain, stay safe, and keep clean. Make sure to follow any and all decontamination procedures. Don’t touch anything if you don’t have to. Keep your feed on, so that I can see what’s going on. Maybe I can help. Also, remember to keep you-“

“Respirator on and gloves on at all times, yes Krill, I’m not stupid. I don’t want to die either.” Next to him, the other volunteers from his crew were strapping on their weapons making ready for entry.

Krill was still nervous watching them board the shuttle, and, through the cameras, their descent towards the Gromm homeworld. All around the world other crews would be doing the same thing.

***

“Approaching the first settlement at about 23% west. There seems to be no signs of life thus far.” Krill watched as the captain stepped around a strange plant and continued walking as he narrated for them. The feed wasn’t great, so it would be a help. “No movement, no alarms, nothing.” They moved over a rise and made their way down another hill reaching the settlement in about twenty minutes, having parked themselves at a good distance from the settlement. “Looks like we have our first body.” The captain said grimly crouching down and peering with his helmet cam at the shriveled corps dried into a husk under the sun. “This thing looks F***ing mummified.” The captain mumbled walking in a wide circle around the body to get it from all angles.

Krill had to agree with the captain’s assessment. The average Gromm was about three times the size of that body, with considerable mucus tissue covering most of its body. If it had died out in the sun, It was likely it had just dehydrated there.

One of the medical team began taking samples from the corpse as the rest moved closer to one of the buildings. Captain Vir took point next to the rest of his team protecting the medical staff as they softly shoved the door open.

Every human within sight left of a collective gasp.

“Ewwww f***ing disgusting.” One of them muttered. The captain made a noise in the back of his throat before, “Oh shit, I… Don’t know if you can all see, but the room is, absolutely….. Covered in slime.” With the medical team, they ventured into the room. It was dark enough Krill had trouble seeing, but the captain’s narration kept him aware, “There are at least 10, maybe 12 bodies in here all resting in pools of slime. It looks like it’s splattered the walls, there is even some on the ceiling. I can feel it through my boots.” He crouched down next to one of the bodies and ran a quick scan, “This one appears to be dead.” Krill squirmed a little in his seat at the disgusting sight, bulging eyes and a flaccid expression like the creature had just been deflated somehow.

“I GOT A LIVE ONE” Someone called.

The captain turned his helmet to look, and they all rushed over to a body in the corner. The creature was barely alive, eyes rolling against its chapped skin, “Water.” It pleaded. Someone, heading the plea left the room and came in with a bucket filled to the brim with water. The creature had no real mouth to drink like a human, so, instead, they dumped the bucket of water over the creature’s deflated form. Immediately, it began to look better, perking up and swelling to a proper size. It took a gasping breath, but seemed to sick to do much more than that. Immediately it began oozing at a furious pace.

“What the hell.” The captain muttered. Krill pressed closer to the screen. He had never seen anything like it. The average Gromm didn’t produce more than a quart of slime per day, but it was quickly loosing water even as they watched.

The humans began immediate procedure in helping the creature filling another tub full of water, and then dumping the Gromm into it covering themselves in slime during the process. The idea seemed to be working, though it would only be a temporary solution.

They continued on from there going from house to house, finding many dead, some still clinging to life, and all in need of water. Captain Vir kept track of everything he saw and everything the medical professionals pointed out. He went into most of the houses first and cleared each room before allowing others to follow him.

They were taking a look at one of the bodies when it happened. It was dark, and eerie, the house appeared to have been painted in the slime. No lights were on, and there were few windows. Captain Vir was scanning one of the subjects when it happened. The Gromm sat up and made a horrible screeching noise.

Vir leaped back, and tipped over something.

Krill heard the tearing. And then the cursing. “F**k, it’s inside my suit f**K.” The feed cut out.”

***

Krill sat at the consul shaking, body racked with panic. It was sure the captain’s suit had been breached, and he had been exposed to the pathogen. Second hands reported that he had been quarantined and was being observed….. Symptoms had already begun to appear, though the specifics were kept to a minimum.

Just then the camera turned on, and the captain appeared in the feed. He was smiling, but looked shaky. The plastic of the tent around him revealed a single entrance, a bed, a bucket, and a few other supplies, “Well….. I’ve been exposed to whatever this thing is. Whatever it is its fast acting.” He reached up to wipe his eyes, “About three hours after exposure, my nose started to run, and my eyes started to water.” He swallowed and wiped his mouth, “I’m not feeling anything else, no fever, no nausea, no sore throat, so perhaps it won’t be that bad. I’ll keep you updated.

***

Krill sat, furiously examining the samples that he had been given trying to figure out what exactly the pathogen’s purpose was. He wasn’t an expert in this area, but he knew enough that he thought it might help.

Behind him, the feed clicked on. The captain sat there looking an absolute mess. He was sniffling and wiping at his face every few seconds. His hair was disheveled, and his clothes were damp, “So…. It’s getting worse. Uh,” he wiped at his face, arm coming away covered in stringy slime. “It’s like, I was sprayed with CS gas, or ate a ghost pepper without the burning….” Tears trickled down his face in a steady stream, and as he spoke, it sounded like he was trying to speak past a mouthful of water, “I’m covered in my own.” He swallowed, “Slime. The medical team has been using me for its samples. The rest of the Gromm appear to be stabilizing. As long as you keep them in water, they seem alright, but we keep having to refill the water because they use it so fast. A few others are showing signs of improvement, thousands more have died.” He wiped at his face again, “And I have run out of tissues for the tenth time now…..”

***

The captain leaned against the edge of the frame. His cheeks were sunken his eyes were ringed with bags. He was no longer wearing his soaked shirt. He wiped at his face in vein, “Well, we have a name for it Viral Hyperactive Ectomucsacytosis, I just call it ‘The Slime.” He leaned over and spit into the bucket, “Which means that it’s a virus that causes hyperactivity in the exterior mucus membranes. So on the Gromm, who have mucus membranes covering their bodies, it’s almost a death sentence. They produce mucus until they have no water left to do so, and then they dry up. For humans it also attacks exterior mucus membranes.” He wiped at his head, “Luckily it doesn’t seem to affect the lugs or the intestines, but” He motioned to himself, “As you can see, it attacks the eyes, the nose, the mouth and…… well there are a few other places, but I’ll let you use whatever medical knowledge you have to guess those…..” He sighed, “I’ve stopped wearing clothes, because I have nothing dry left.”

He held up his arm, “As you might know, saliva and other mucus is about 90% water, so I am excessively dehydrated. They’ve started a wide boar IV on me just to keep up with the water loss.” He sighed, “I haven’t peed in almost 24 hours. I’m dizzy, and keep forgetting what I’m supposed to say. Since they gave me the IV I’ve been feeling a little better.” He sighed again, “My skin is dry, I feel cold, and they are worried about organ failure if I continue to loose water. Oh, also I have a massive headache.”

***

Captain Vir stepped aboard the ship two weeks later wearing dry clothes and looking relatively chipper. The planetary crisis for the Gromm had been reduced by the brave humans who had volunteered to come and aid those that were left alive. Millions had died in the plague, but with excessive amounts of water, the Virus had run its course. Anyone and everyone who received sufficient care during that time survived and recovered including Captain VIr.

Certain settlements had figured this trick out before their brethren and had taken to the water as soon as the outbreak had shown the symptoms that it did. They found other settlements that had not been touched by the plague, but they were often far outside city limits and had no real way to contact anyone. Many of the Gromm would remain permanently affected by the disease causing a dysregulation of their usual slime production.

Disease free, Vir was back to his normal self, and had decided that your average runny nose was nothing compared to “The slime”. A runny nose didn’t usually cause dehydration, organ failure, headache, and muscle cramps.

Krill, to himself, was very impressed with the humans. It hadn’t taken very long for Vir to find his volunteers, and no one had through twice about helping an entirely different race. They had come in on the hundreds, and had saved an entire planet from the brink of extinction risking their own lives in the process. At least 25 humans out of the hundreds sent had been infected, and all had survived without continuing issue.

Humans are a strange race, bred in war and shaped by pain, and so they fear nothing. They don’t fear sickness, or death, but they believe in survival. This idea is engrained so deeply that, even against logic, they will risk their own lives to lift up the lives of others.

No other race sent volunteer envoys onto the face of the Gromm planet, no other species suffered the sickness. It was humans, and humans aloe willing to risk death to save a species not their own.

[midnightartemis]

Chapters: 30/? Fandom: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy Rating: Explicit Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Underage Relationships: Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren, Rey/Ben Solo, Finn/Rose Tico, Poe Dameron/Rey, Poe Dameron/Finn, Poe Dameron/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren Characters: Rey (Star Wars), Ben Solo | Kylo Ren, Ben Solo, Finn (Star Wars), Poe Dameron, Rose Tico, Leia Organa, Han Solo, Luke Skywalker, Maz Kanata, Larma D'Acy, Amilyn Holdo, Snoke (Star Wars), Boba Fett, Bossk (Star Wars), Armitage Hux, Chewbacca (Star Wars) Additional Tags: Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Abuse, Drug Use, Suicide Attempt, Star-crossed, Dreams, Alternate Universe - High School, High School, School Dances, Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Foster Care, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Near Death Experiences, Multiverse, Reincarnation, Attempted Sexual Assault, Assault, Graphic Description, Teenage Drama, Horny Teenagers, Fluff and Smut, Angst with a Happy Ending, Past Drug Use, Drug Dealing

Chapter Two

The first day, a new school. I take a deep breath. It wasn’t my first new school, but I hoped it would be the last. It was a lot to process- Maz, Holdo. Every one of my instincts told me it was too good to be,  but I trusted Holdo, and if Maz raised Holdo, I could trust her too. She was right. This was different.

I wake up early, wanting to make a good impression. I brush my teeth and shower and- Is that a razor? It takes a lot longer, but I eventually make it through my leg and armpit hair and jump out of the shower. The closet- My closet is filled with clothes of every shape and size and style and I wonder just how many girls Maz has fostered over the years.

I fish through the clothes until I find a soft dandelion yellow overall style dress and pair it with a white, faux turtleneck shirt made of incredibly stretchy, soft material. There’s a pile of shoes under the clothes, but I decide to stick with my ratty, old white converse… Well, they used to be white. I grab my bag and head downstairs, vibrating with excitement and nervousness. Maz is sitting on the back deck nursing a coffee and overlooking her garden. She’s still in purple and pink pajamas and looks up in surprise when I walk out the door. “You’re up early. Sleep well, kid?”

I nod and stare hungrily at the platter of eggs and bacon. “Yes, thank you.”

Maz notices my hunger. “Well, don’t just stand there, they’re there for you, too. Dig in.”

I quickly sit and fill my plate.

“Do you drink coffee?” I nod and she stands, fetching another cup for me. “Cream? Sugar?”

“Just plain black, please.”

“Ah, you’re one of the good ones I can tell.” Maz chuckles and I giggle, accepting the coffee from her. It smells amazing.

“How many girls have you fostered?”

Maz sits back, a pleasant speculative look in her eye. “Oh… I lose track sometimes. I’ll have to pull out the scrapbook, but I think at least twenty over the years. There was a period of time where I fostered siblings, but now I just take only children. Two people are more than enough for this house. I’ve adopted five of them.”

“Five!?” I nearly choke on my eggs.

“Yes, Amilyn is the only one I see regularly since she’s so close, they’re all spread out all over the world, but most of them call or text or send letters a lot.”

“And it’s just you? No one else?”

“Nope, no one else. I’ve had my fair share of romances,” she winks. “But I do best on my own. I prefer it, with you all for the good company of course.”

“Why do you do it?”

“Well, I know what it feels like. I was in the system once, too. Long, long before your time. I got taken in when I was sixteen by my adoptive parents. And when they died, I decided to carry on that legacy. Help others how they helped me.”

“That sounds very noble.”

Maz snorts. “Hardly. I’m a senile old woman who just wants a little company. It’s for all those-how do you kids say it- juicy government checks.” There’s a twinkle in her eye as she jokes. She takes a glance at the watch on her wrist. “Finish up, wash up. I’ll put on my grandma’s pants and we’ll get you off to school. They’ll want me to sign a bunch of stuff and I gotta get to the bar to deal with their usual incompetencies. Did she mention the bar?”

I nod through my last bite of eggs.

“You’ll never have to go there if you don’t want to, but you’re more than welcome to come by after school. Also, you should send me your number. I don’t want a minute by minute notice of where you are, but you are my responsibility, so I would like to know your general locations and plans. Fair?”

I nod. “Fair.”

There weren't a lot of places I planned on going to. I didn’t know anyone here. Though… I wouldn’t say no to exploring the downtown area.

Maz left to change and I finished my breakfast and cleaned my dishes. I searched through the cupboards until I found a set of glass Tupperware and placed the leftover eggs and bacon inside. I waited patiently on the couch, twiddling my thumbs and trying to not think about things so much. The first day of classes always made me anxious, and now my life has completely turned around in the last twenty-four hours. Maz appeared at the bottom of the stairs and I tried and failed to not smile at her “grandma pants”. For one thing, they were bright purple and covered in embroidery, and, for another, they were paired with an equally bright pink and blue top. Everything screamed hippy grandma. She grabbed a set of keys from a hook on the wall. “Alright, kid, got everything?”

I nod and follow her out the car to her small garage where there is, of course, an original bright yellow Volkswagen bug. Who is this lady and where has she been my entire life? I climb in the passenger seat and we take off down the road to the school.

My stomach does a flip at the sight of the school. There are a few cars in the parking lot, but we’re still half an hour early. Maz parks and we walk through the doors of New Republic High together. The entrance lobby is huge, surrounded by windows and filled with light from a round skylight in the ceiling. The floor is white tile and in the center of the lobby floor, there is a huge mosaic crest of a Falcon clutching a sword. A red banner flies below it inscribed with Latin: In absentia lucis, Tenebrae vincunt.

“It means ‘In the absence of light, darkness prevails.’”

I jump at the voice and look up to see a bubbly girl with jet black hair and a cute face smiling at me. “Uh… Okay.”

“You must be Rey, I’m Rose and I get to be your student ambassador. I also help out in the office and I saw you were starting today, so I thought I would meet you at the door.” Rose sticks her hand out and I shake it. “Hi, Miss Kanata.”

“Rose…” Maz raises her eyebrows.

“Sorry. Miss Maz.” Rose’s smile doesn’t falter. “It’s the school’s motto. It’s supposed to inspire us to ‘be the good in the world’ or something.” She waves her hand through the air, brushing past the meaning. “Principal Organa is ready for you if you. She’s excited to meet you.”

Rose practically skips away and we follow her, ascending the stairs to an open door that leads to a reception area. Rose walks through the reception center and to an open door near the back. We follow her through and I find myself in a spacious office. Everything is wood and lavender, warm and inviting. Sitting at the desk is an older woman with greying hair, perfectly styled in a braided bun. She’s wearing a tailored blue dress and silver cat eyeglasses on the bridge of her nose. She takes her glasses off as we enter and stands with a smile. “Rey Niima?”

I nod and shake her hand.

“It’s a pleasure to meet you. I am Principal Leia Organa. And good to see you again, Maz.” Principal Organa’s smile is warm, inviting. Still, I wouldn’t want to get on her bad side. “Rose, thank you. Would you please get Maz the right paperwork and I’ll talk with Rey?”

My stomach flips with nerves again. Principal Organa gestures to the chairs in front of her desk and I sit as Rose and Maz leave. Organa puts on her glasses once more and moves to her computer. “Just a moment, let me pull up your file.”

I sit up straight, on edge as I look around the room. There are bookshelves filled with books and art. An orchid blooms on a windowsill, and I think that the window overlooks a courtyard.

“Here you are. Very impressive Rey. It says that you finished up Trigonometry and English Two, a history class, a social studies class, Earth Science, and computer programming. No language courses?”

“They didn’t exactly offer any,” I say, nervous. “I know a little bit of Spanish. One of my foster families lived in the Hispanic neighborhood of Jakku.”

“Would you like to take a placement test in Spanish?”

I shake my head. “I only know how to say a few things, not read or write.”

“We require three years of language to graduate.” She peers at me over her glasses and I sink in my seat. She turns her gaze back to her computer and clicks a few things. “We will just have to get you all caught up. You can either take an extra summer course or have two blocks of language, it’s up to you.”

“Uh…” I’m completely out of my depth. I’m not even sure if I’ll still be here in the summer, much less what a block is. “What’s a block?”

Principal Organa’s eyes soften. “We run New Republic more like a college than a high school so that you’re prepared when you go to college. It builds responsibility and trust. So, you’ll have some classes that you only have Monday, Wednesday, Friday, or Tuesday, Thursday. Blocks are forty-five minutes. Some of your classes may only take up one block, some two or three.”

College. I shake my head. It was a dream. “Okay. Um… I guess I’ll do two blocks of language.”

“We offer French, Spanish, Russian, and Latin.”

“Latin.” Might as well. Organa smiles.

“So, I’ll mark you down for the junior year history class- Current World Events and most juniors take Psychology unless you’d rather take Religion?” She glances at me and I shake my head. “And, P.E. That’s the basics, the rest have a little wriggle room for what you want to do here. So, tell me about yourself. What are you interested in? What are your plans for post-graduation?”

“Uh… I have no idea what I’m going to do after graduation. I like science and math… Figuring out how things work.”

“Taking things apart and putting them back together?” She asks.

I nod. “It used to get me in a lot of trouble.”

“A little bit of trouble never hurt anyone.” Principal Organa winks. “I want you to meet with our Guidance Counselor. There’s a lot of avenues for girls like you who want to go into STEM fields. For now, since your math and science grades are so high, I’m going to place you in… Pre-Calculus, Physics, and… Small engines.”

I wrinkle my eyebrows. “Small engines?”

“It’s more fun than you think. I’m no good at it, but my husband is, and I think you’ll like him.”

She barely knows me, but okay. “Okay.”

“And last, but not least, I like everyone to take at least one art class. There’s painting, drawing, photography, band, orchestra, choir, sculpture, woodworking… Are any of these peeking your interest?”

“Drawing, I guess.” I had taken a drawing class before. I wasn’t the best at it, but I wasn’t horrible either.

“Okay.” Principal Organa hit a few more buttons. I heard a printer whirl beneath her and she bent down to grab a piece of paper.

“This is your schedule,” she grabbed another sheet of paper as well and handed both to me. “And the second one is a list of all the groups and activities on campus as well as a list of emails for staff and phone numbers for any services you may or may not need during your time here. And my door is always open, Miss Niima. I’m happy to have you here. Rose will handle you from here and show you around to all of your classes.”

I walk out of Principal Organa’s office to find Maz and Rose crackling at the counter. Rose wipes away tears from her eyes and Maz grabs her bag from the counter at the sight of me. “Looks like they got you all ready to go, hun. I’ll pick you up at four unless you let me know differently. You have my number, and Rose will take good care of you.”

I’m a little sad to watch her go. And excited. And nervous. And still trying to process everything. Rose seems nice enough. I usually didn’t get a guide on the first day. Jakku’s schools were more of the ‘fend for yourself’ type. Rose waves good-bye to Maz and turns to me. “You get your schedule?”

“Yeah.” I hand the paper to her and she looks it over, growing more and more excited. “What is it?”

“Lucky for you, we have a lot of the same classes. Both STEM girls.” Rose winks and I blush uncomfortably. “Ugh, I loved small engines. Mr. Solo is so cool.”

“Is that Principal Organa’s husband?”

“Yup!” Rose bounces from around the counter. “Come on. I’ll give you a tour and show you your locker. The assembly doesn’t start for another half-hour.”

I follow her closely out into the halls and it’s completely different from earlier. I can hardly see the school seal there’s so many people rushing back and forth, talking, laughing, hugging. Rose takes my hand and before I know it I’m dragged into the chaos.

“So, you already saw the seal. We’re the Millenium Falcons, established in 1960 by the Skywalker family, of which Principal Organa is descended from. It’s a long history with a lot of drama. This is the freshman wing,” Rose pointed down a long hallway and then to the mirroring one. “And the Sophomore wing. Basically, the founder got killed by her husband and nearly got killed himself, even though he really really loved her and she was pregnant. It’s kinda sad actually. No one really knows the full story.”

Rose pushed through glass double doors and we walked into a courtyard. The sidewalk divided the green into quarters. Every inch of the courtyard was maintained and perfectly landscaped. There was even a fountain in the center. Rose gestured to the wall of the building on her right. “That side houses the gymnasium. There’s a swimming pool and a rock wall and a weight room. Oh, you’ll need to bring tennis shoes for that and stuff to shower with, but they provide a shirt and shorts. The other side,” Rose nodded to the left side of the square courtyard. “That’s where the lunchroom and the art rooms are.”

I follow Rose straight across the courtyard, trying to take it all in. It was so massive, so grand compared to everything I had never known. A pool? Really? I hope they don’t make people swim… I push the thought away. I’ll burn that bridge when I get there. Just survive the first day. We walk through an identical pair of double doors and we’re in the back of the square. It looks almost identical to the front of the building. I can see a parking lot through the windows and rolling forests beyond that. The seal is there again, and it’s crowded with students rushing around.

“Finn! Poe!” Rose dropped my hand and raced towards two guys in varsity jackets. The tall, dark one caught her and swung her into a deep kiss. They broke apart laughing and Rose gave the other a quick hug. His hair was dark and curly, a smirk on his lips. It wasn’t hard to miss the class clown. Rose waved me over. “Rey, this is Finn and Poe.” She nodded to the boy she kissed and the class clown respectively.

“Hi.” I smile and wave shyly. Finn gives me a giant grin and immediately pulls me into a bear hug. “Oh.”

“It’s great to meet you, Rey,” Finn says once he sets me down.

“Diddo.” Poe winks at me and Rose slaps his chest.

“Poe, don’t scare her away. She’s a science girl, too, and I need more girl power in those classes. I’m outnumbered and tired of it.”

“It’s okay,” I laugh. “He doesn’t scare me.”

Finn laughs. “Okay, I like her. Are you giving her the famous Rose Tico tour?”

“I’m trying to, and then I got distracted.” Rose gives Finn a quick kiss on the lips and I blush, looking away. “Save us seats at assembly?”

“Yes, ma’am.” Finn smiles, a man in love.

The people around me are bustling and loud, obnoxious teenagers. I’m suddenly grateful for my newfound friends.

Rose is gesturing down the hall on the right. “That’s the senior hall. You might go in there sometimes, especially in winter to go to lunch. They get really pissed if you’re loud during class time, but you don’t seem like the loud type.”

I smile. No, not really. Loud spaces were difficult sometimes, especially when I was as uncomfortable as I am now. Rose takes my arm and leads me down the last hall. “This is the Junior hall.”

We walk down a hall filled with blue lockers. There’s a door to a classroom about every twenty or thirty feet. Rose looks at my class schedule. “You’re locker 364, not that far from me!”

We find my locker and Rose tells me to leave my bag there. I do, after struggling with the combination for ten minutes. The end of the hall comes to a corner with a staircase and a wall of windows. Around the corner is a door marked Gymnasium. Rose lets me peek in and I can only gape at the two basketball courts, and, beyond that, a huge glass wall. There are treadmills and workout equipment on the top floor, and I get a glimpse of the pool on the first level. Rose drags me up the stairs and I’m in an identical hall as the one below us. More lockers, more classrooms. Rose points out which ones are which, but I know that I’ll forget.

We came to the area where Principal Organa’s office had been on the other side, but here it's a student lounge overlooking the courtyard. There’s a little kitchen area with a vending machine and a microwave and plenty of chairs, couches, and tables for studying. Rose is explaining something about the vending machines when an announcement comes over the speakers. “Will all students and staff please report to the auditorium for the Welcome Back Assembly? All students and staff please report to the auditorium for the assembly. Thank you.”

Rose’s eyes light up as if she lives for assemblies. Maybe she’s just excited to see Finn again. She grabs my arm and power walks me through the hall and down the stairs. We enter the auditorium through double doors and the room is buzzing with noise and excitement. Poe and Finn wave at us from the front of the room.

We join them as the lights dim and Principal Organa comes up on stage. The buzz in the room dies out and she waits for silence. “Hello, New Republic High!”

A riotous cheer echoes through the auditorium and Poe and Finn are whooping beside me. Organa raises her hands and the room quiets once more. “I hope you all had a great summer and are excited to get back to work. I only have a few announcements and then I’ll send you on your way. First, there will be absolutely NO pranks played on the cheerleaders this year, Mr. Dameron.” Her eyes are shooting lasers at Poe.

He gives her a cheerful thumbs up and leans over to me. “I’m planning on the swim team, instead.”

I giggle. Organa’s already moved on to more usual school things. Laptop roll out, schedule questions, where to look for club sign-ups. I should pay attention, but I’m still trying to process everything around me. It’s all so new and crazy. I close my eyes and try to calm my breathing, just have to get through the first day. The first week.

The assembly ends and Rose takes my hand, leading me out the side. First on the agenda, English Comp. We make our way back to my locker and she leaves me for a second to grab her own bag. The hall is filled with students rushing to classes and I cling to my bag, anxiety filling my chest. Rose touches my arm. “I’m not sure what I would do without you. It’s a lot to take in.”

Rose beams. “I got you. It’s exciting having a new friend. My sister went off to college this year, so I’ve been a bit lonely. And it all calms down after the first week. Everyone is crazy trying to figure out their schedules and where they need to be.”

We have English together, then Latin, then Math, then Physics. My stomach is rumbling by the time lunch rolls around and I find myself standing in line with Rose, staring out over the huge bustling lunchroom. “How long do we have to eat?”

“What?” Rose gives me a strange look. “Oh, it’s not timed, really. You just have to make it to your next class on time. Which is… Drawing at two. Nice. So, like, an hour.”

Lunch looks better than anything I had ever been served back on Jakku. For one, it resembles actual food. For another, I get to choose what I want to eat. Maybe I could get used to this. My stomach turns. Maybe I shouldn’t get used to this. I knew how quickly things could get taken away.

When we sit down, Poe and Finn are in the middle of arguing about football, I think. It’s all just sports talk to me. Rose leans over to me, “Don’t worry, I have no idea what they’re saying either. Are you liking your classes so far?”

“Yeah, but I think I’ll need a cart to carry all these books around.” I grin and poke at my peas.

Rose snorts. “Me too. It’s torture. Hey, we should definitely start a study group together. I saw that you have a free block with me Tuesdays and Thursdays.”

“That would be great.” A friend! I smile and dig into my chicken.

“Do you think you’re going to join any clubs or anything? There’s A Capella, chess, film…”

I shrug. “I’ve never really been a group person.” Rose gives me the saddest look. “But, I can see. What are you in?”

A giant smile breaks across Rose’s face.

“Oh, now you’ve released the beast.” Finn chuckles, making eyes across the table at his girlfriend.

“So, there’s this group I’ve been wanting to get started.” Rose’s eyes are bright and excited and I can’t help but laugh. “It’s called FEM-STEM for women in science. And we’d be part robotics team, part STEM buds, and it would really just be you and me for right now, but that’s enough to start and I, like, need a Vice President.”

“I would love, too!” There’s a flash of anxiety in my gut as I drop out of the dream for a second. “But I don’t know how long I’m staying here. It’s all so new, you know. But, I’ll definitely think about it. I just want to make sure Maz is like a sure thing. I haven’t had the greatest time with foster parents.”

I finish softly and there’s a soft oh from Rose’s lips. I look up and my eyes connect with his. Dark, brooding, intense. I gasp and look away. I look back up and he’s turned away, head in a book, scribbling, black hair falling over his eyes. I know those eyes… I know them from… Somewhere. I tune back in.

“It’s totally okay. I totally understand. I didn’t mean to bring up-”

“I’ll do it.” I force a smile. Rose squeals and pulls me into a huge hug. What is it with these people and hugs? “I have to talk to Maz first.”

“Oh, Rey. Thank you.” Rose is bouncing in her seat with excitement.

I glance back at him and he looks up at me. Something imperceptible passes across his eyes and he gathers his things to leave. The table he’s at is empty. “Who’s that?”

Poe, Finn, and Rose’s eyes track mine as I watch him leave the giant lunch hall. Poe’s face immediately darkens into anger while Rose and Finn share a knowing look and glance at Poe. Poe takes a deep breath and lets it out. “It’s fine. She’ll find out sooner or later and it may as well be from us.”

Poe’s eyes meet mine and I’m filled with a burning curiosity. He’s immediately on edge, tensed.

“I can’t believe she let him come back.” Rose mutters.

“Well, he is her son.” Finn replies softly. I glance between the three of them confused.

“What happened?”

Rose sighs. Her voice is almost a whisper like she’s telling me a secret. “That’s Ben Solo.”

“Solo?” It sounds familiar but I can’t quite find it amongst the ocean of information that’s been driven into my head today.

“Yeah, Principal Organa and Mr. Solo’s son.” Finn fills in. Suddenly, Poe slams his fist down on the table and the whole cafeteria goes quiet. He stands and walks out. My eyes go wide. Finn grabs both their trays. “I’ll go calm him down.”

The chatter starts up again as Finn leaves. My heart is racing. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to bring up something bad. I-“

“No, Rey, it's okay. You didn’t know. You couldn’t have.” Rose’s voice is steady. Calming. “I just wouldn’t bring Ben Solo up in front of Poe again.”

“Yeah, of course.” I poke at the remaining peas on my plate, no longer hungry.

“Poe and Ben… well I think they used to be really good friends as kids. I’m not sure. I moved here in middle school. But as they grew up, well, Poe is really easy to like. And Ben, I guess, not so much. I’m a little fuzzy on the details. But I guess Ben started having a lot of mental health problems and anger issues and I think he got started down the wrong path. No one is really sure, but a lot of people say he might sell drugs or something. And Poe thinks that Ben sold Poe’s twin sister the drugs that Lily overdosed on. And it all kind of culminated at the end of last year when Ben showed up to the funeral. Poe came to school and it was so scary. I’ve never seen him so angry. And he and Ben got into a fight in the courtyard that sent both of them to the hospital. The police got involved. It was horrible. And I guess Ben got shipped off to some reform summer camp. And it’s why Poe can’t play any varsity or junior lacrosse this year.”

“Gods. That’s horrible.” Anxiety knits my stomach. Maybe I should find Poe and apologize.

“Yeah...” Rose wipes away a tear and looks at the time on her phone. “Oh! I should probably get you to your next class. I have vocal so it’s in the same wing at least.”

We discard out trays and walk out of the cafeteria and up a flight of stairs to the Art Hall as Rose called it. There were three art studios on one side of the hall and the orchestra/band room on the other side. Two double doors at the end of the hall were for the balcony seats of the auditorium. I waved goodbye to Rose and she ran off to the auditorium for vocal and for the first time today I’m alone. The classroom looks empty since I’m about ten minutes early so I go in and nearly jump out of my skin.

Ben Solo is sitting in the corner of the classroom at one of the high drawing desks eating an apple. He looks up in surprise as I enter and takes a bite. I can’t get rid of the feeling that I know him from somewhere. But where?

“Sorry… I thought it was empty.” No reply. “Is it okay if I sit in here too?”

His intense eyes regard me carefully. “It’s a free country.”

His voice is deep, gravelly, sensual almost. I… was not expecting that. I pick one of the desks almost directly across from him. He goes back to his work as I take out my schedule and club list, as well as a thick welcome packet Rose had given to me. It’s the first time today I’m able to sit and breathe and think. I let out a deep sigh. First days are the worst.

I feel a tingle on my skin like someone’s watching me and I look up only to see him look back down at his sketchbook. A strand of long black hair falls in front of his face and I catch myself wondering what it would feel like to brush it back.

What the hell, Niima? I look back down at my papers electing to ignore him. He probably just had one of those faces. Besides, if anything Rose said was true, I shouldn’t  trust this guy at all. It’s not trust, it's curiosity. Okay, well, then I shouldn’t be curious either. He’s bad enough to make funny, happy-go-lucky Poe Dameron go nuclear.

I glance back up at him and our eyes lock. I don’t know if we’re looking at each other for minutes or hours or just seconds. He moves like he wants to ask me something and the classroom door swings open breaking our trance.

A tall woman struggles through the door carrying a giant armful of drawing pads and utensils. I rush to help her, taking some of her things.

“Oh, thank you, dear. You’re so kind. Yes, just put one on each desk for me.”

I’ve taken a box of boxes of drawing pencils from her. I set to work placing boxes of pencils on my desk, deliberately starting as far away from him as possible. I work my way around the U of desks and come to him. He stiffens as I draw near and dammit he smells good too. I hastily shove a pencil box at him and he takes it. His fingers brush against mine and I gasp, hurrying away from him. My heart is pounding in my chest and I can feel him watching me. I’m so ready for this day to end.

I set the empty box down on the desk and the art teacher is desperately trying to get the overhead projector to turn on.

“Do you mind?” She hands me the remote and I turn on the projector with one click. She laughs and takes it back. “I swear, technology hates me. I don’t recognize you so you must be…. Rey Nemo.”

“Niima.” I smile.

She clicks her tongue. “Yes, that’s what Rose said. Pretty name. I’m Mrs. Tico, the drawing teacher.”

“Rose’s mom?”

She smiles brightly. I can tell where Rose gets her sunshine personality from.  “The one and only. I hope my daughter hasn’t scared you off yet.”

There’s a light scoff behind me and I look back to see Ben concentrating very hard on his notebook. Did he know me? Did he recognize me from somewhere, too?

I turn back to Mrs. Tico. “Not at all. She’s been really nice and welcoming. I think it’s the best welcome party I’ve ever had.”

The door swings open and students start to roll in. Mrs. Tico smiles. “Well, we’re more than happy to have you here and I’m delighted to have you as a student, Rey. Maybe you can convince my daughter to take one class with her momma. I sure can’t.”

I laugh and head back to my seat. I don’t catch him looking at me the rest of the block, but for some reason I know he is.

The bell rings, signifying the end of the block and I gather myself. Rose is waiting for me outside the door, a petrified look on her face.

“What?”

“You have class with him? After I told you all that stuff? Oh jeez, I’m so sorry.” Rose's eyes are wide.

I shrug. “Don’t worry about it.”

Should I mention the staring? The eye contact? The fact that I find him kinda hot? The weird feeling in my chest when he looks at me? Probably not. Probably should just chalk this up to weird teenage hormones.

“So the shop is a bit different. It’s across the parking lot because it has to be a separate building because of building codes or something.” Rose says as we walk through the hall, down the stairs, and through the double glass doors into the back parking lot. We head towards a building made of white tin and Rose drops me off at the door.

“I like your mom, by the way. She seems nice.”

“Yeah, she’s pretty cool. She keeps wanting me to take art classes but I can’t draw to save my life.” Rose shrugs. “Do you have any plans after school? I usually go to the coffee shop and work on homework or hang out until Finn gets done with practice.”

“That sounds fun. I think Maz wanted to take me shopping for some things tonight though. Maybe some other time?”

“Oh sure! How about tomorrow?” Rose raises her eyebrows. “I mean you can totally say no, but I think it would be fun to hang out outside of school.”

It was hard to not want to be Rose’s friend. She made it so easy. Don’t get attached. She’s just being nice. I pushed the thought out of my head. “Yeah! Tomorrow sounds great.”

Rose beamed.  “Sweet! I’ll see you tomorrow then! Bye, Rey!”

I watched her race across the parking lot back to school. I opened the door to the huge white shop and was greeted with a small classroom. A couple tables with benches faced a white board. And in front of the white board, staring at me again was Ben. Why me. Why today.

It looks like I’ve just interrupted a strained conversation between him and the man at the desk. Ben immediately takes a seat near the outside wall of the room. The man at the desk stands and saunters over to me. He’s wearing a white shirt and jeans with grease spots. He’s got greying hair and a twinkle in his eye. “Rey Niima?”

I nod.

“Han Solo, how you doing, kid?” He sticks his hand out and I shake it. I’m trying to put three and three together. The grungy man before me and the polished lady I met earlier and their mysterious son in the corner.

“I’m okay, thank you.”

“Nice to have a girl in here. Maybe it will teach some of these boys a lesson.”

Not sure what that means, but I catch Ben glaring grumpily at the desk in front of him.

“Have you worked with engines before, kid?”

I nod. “A little bit. Kinda. I… Stayed with someone who owned a junkyard and he let me take stuff apart. Mostly I think he just wanted me to learn how to strip cars for parts cause my hands were small.”

Is that too much information? My stomach twists but Mr. Solo seems delighted and Ben is staring at me again. He quickly looks away.

“Oh, yeah, Maz had told me she was fostering a new kid. Look at you. You’ll do fine here. Just pick a seat. We’ll start once the others show up.”

I sit down two rows behind Ben. Try to stare at me now. I smirk. But now you get to be the one who stares. I roll my eyes at my subconscious. It’s curiosity. And hormones. Pure and simple.

By the time I get home that night, I’m completely exhausted from the day and from answering a million questions. The moment I lay down, I’m passed out and dreaming of dark eyes and endless darkness. Flashes of him pass through, fleeting. When I wake in the morning, I can’t remember much of it.

[jbbarnesnnoble]

Love from the Outside (Finale)

Chapter Title: Auld Lang Syne

Features: Pure Fluff

Pairing: Bucky/Natasha/Reader

Notes: This story went to me and went “ha, you THOUGHT this would be Bucky/Reader, but guess what! Sunshine is taking a shine to Natasha” so, that happened.

And they all lived happily every after

Word Count: 1434

Between Christmas and New Year’s it seemed like things just fell into place. Sunshine was rarely found without either Bucky or Natasha. A talk was still needed but for now, a comfortable understanding existed between the three. True to her word, Natasha kept Sunshine’s confession about Peggy to herself. 

Tony and Pepper were hosting a party in the city and they were all making an appearance there. Sunshine was unsure about it. Wanda had helped her with picking out a dress. When she stepped out of her room to meet Natasha and Bucky, they both stared at her. She felt her cheeks burn. Was the dress too much?

“You look beautiful,” Natasha said, the first to speak. Sunshine smiled.

“And you look gorgeous as always,” Sunshine said. Natasha and Buck stepped up beside her, Bucky on her left, Natasha on her right, as they headed out to the waiting car. It wasn’t long before they were arriving in the city. 

“Gotta warn you doll, the media swarms like crazy for these things. All the Avengers, the celebrities, the politicians...it’s a treasure trove of photos for them,” Bucky said. Sunshine nodded. She knew, on some level, arriving with the two former assassins would be sending some sort of message, that the world’s media was covering each and every arrival to the party. 

The trio rushed into the building once they were out of the car, not pausing for the waiting photographers. Each grabbed a glass of champagne upon entering the ballroom. She made the rounds with them, being introduced to so many people she could barely keep up. After talking to some diplomat--”that’s the Austrian Ambassador” Natasha had told her--Sunshine broke off to head outside for air. There was a bench on the patio area, overlooking the city. While the city lights drowned out most of the night sky, a few stars were still visible. 

She remembered the nights she would sit outside with Bucky, looking up at the stars. He was the one who showed her the constellations. For the first time in a long time, looking up at the stars felt peaceful. She was startled when someone sat down beside her on both sides.

“What’re you thinking about, doll?” Bucky asked. Sunshine smiled.

“Just reminiscing,” she said. 

“Such a shame you can’t really see the stars here in the city,” Natasha said. Bucky and Sunshine both nodded.

“Wasn’t like this when we were kids,” Bucky said. The three sat in silence for a few minutes, looking up at the sky and letting the sounds of the party fade. 

“What do you hope for in the New Year?” Natasha asked Sunshine, curious about what she had to say. 

“I want to learn more about this new century. Find my place in this new world. What about you?” she said. 

“I want to take a break, relax for a bit. Seems like all we’ve been doing until recently is fighting,” Natasha said. Bucky nodded.

“A break would be nice. Maybe a nice vacation,” Bucky said. 

“We’ll need the time to show the new centenarian on the block all that the 21st century has to offer,” Natasha said. Sunshine pushed her lightly, causing the red-head to laugh. Sunshine looked back up at the stars and smiled, seeing a shooting star. Sunshine pointed up at it as the people inside started counting down to the New Year, 2020. 

“Make a wish,” she said with a smile. Bucky wished to find peace. Natasha wished for family, for the three of them to find it in them to try. And Sunshine? Sunshine simply wished for love to grow. None of them spoke as they watched the shooting star fade. 

“What did you wish for?” Bucky asked. Sunshine shook her head. 

“Can’t tell you that James. You know the rules,” she said. The three sat outside for awhile longer, before rejoining the party inside. A new year and a new decade began, and with it, a new chapter of their lives. 

December 31, 2020

The year had flown by. Sunshine found herself preparing for a small gathering of their close friends for the holiday. The team had been scattered for most of the month and New Year’s Eve was the first time everyone was in one place since Thanksgiving. 

Sunshine had completed her training and assisted in medical as a nurse. It wasn’t uncommon to find her talking to Tony or Bruce about something either. Nursing had been what she had pursued at the behest of her mother, but she had always had an interest in the kinds of things Howard Stark was making. 

She had been disappointed when Natasha and James both missed Christmas, off on separate missions. But it had given her time to figure out her surprise for them. She had shooed them both out of the kitchen, only accepting help from Peter and Wanda. They had formed an unlikely trio of friends, more like siblings. 

“Have you figured out their gift yet?” Wanda asked, a conspiratory look on her face. She knew what Sunshine was planning. 

“Wait you didn’t know what you were getting them?” Peter asked her. Sunshine shook her head.

“I knew what I was getting them, just not...how I was giving it to them,” she said. Something clicked for Peter.

“You’re--” he was cut off by Wanda putting her hand over his mouth. 

“Shh, if you spoil this, Parker, you won’t like the consequences,” Wanda said. Sunshine knew Wanda wouldn’t do anything too awful, but she had seen the woman take her revenge during a prank war instigated by the same teenager in front of them and it wasn’t pretty either. 

“The food is ready, let’s put it out and call everyone in,” Sunshine said. 

As everyone filed in, Sunshine was sat between Natasha and Bucky. Before everyone dug in, she held up her glass, filled with sparkling apple juice rather than wine. 

“Before we eat, I want to say something. A little over a year ago, I showed up her, a woman out of time. I found lost love, found new love, found new family. We didn’t get to celebrate the holidays this year, not properly, but I realized while being down about it that the holidays are more than a date on a calendar, than the presents or the food. It’s about the people. It’s celebrating your friends, your family, both blood and chosen, and that doesn’t have to be constrained to a specific day. This is a chosen family. As chaotic as I’ve learned it can be here, you are all my family. I am eternally grateful for you all. So, with that, let’s eat,” Sunshine said. Bucky squeezed her hand as Natasha plasted a chaste kiss on her cheek.

“You really are something special,” Natasha murmured. 

After dinner, they all gathered around and presents were distributed in the same manner as the previous year. Once all the gifts were open, Sunshine stood up and grabbed one more bag from behind the tree. 

“What’s this?” Natasha asked.

“Don’t know, you two should open it and find out,” Sunshine said. The two look confused as they pulled out a picture frame until they saw what was inside the frame.

“For real?” Natasha asked. Sunshine nodded.

“For real,” Sunshine said. Bucky was still staring at the frame, a smile forming on his face. He tore his eyes away from the image in the frame to Sunshine.

“We’re going to be parents?” he asked. She nodded. When those words left Bucky’s mouth, it took everyone else a moment to process before congratulations were shared. 

It was later that night that the trio found themselves outside, the new year getting ready to behind. Natasha stood behind her, a hand resting on Sunshine’s stomach. 

“Tasha, I’m not even showing yet. Dr. Cho said I’m only six weeks,” Sunshine said. 

“Yeah, but the baby is there and I want them to know how much we love them,” Natasha said. Bucky moved to stand in front of his two loves, sandwiching Sunshine in the middle. The three of them stood for a few minutes before separating. Sunshine looked up and pointed out a shooting star. 

“Make a wish?” she asked. Bucky and Natasha both shook their heads.

“Darling, I don’t need anymore wishes. I’ve got everything and everyone I want, right here,” Bucky said. 

“Wouldn’t want to change a thing. Not a chance,” Natasha said. 

They stood for a few minutes more, enjoying the peace of the evening as fireworks sounded in the distance, ringing in the new year, and with it, new adventures.

[msjr0119]

Hold my girl

Part 2 - Homesick

No one really knows about TRR Main characters past …. Most of this series is based on flashbacks from her childhood. I’ve changed the main characters name to, Freya Johnson as Riley Brooks is used in my other series.

Freya is in love with Drake, but he hasn’t returned the feelings- instead just acts horrible towards her. Will Freya return back to Cordonia with the court or will she stay in the USA after the UN party.

Warnings: swearing

Ive lost my tag list for this series 👎🏻

Just tagging everyone- if you want to be removed let me know 😊

@annekebbphotography @burnsoslow @drakesensworld @ladyangel70 @kingliam2019 @bbrandy2002 @butindeed @bascmve01 @drakewalker04 @pedudley @captain-kingliamsqueen @duchessemersynwalker @insideamirage @of-course-i-went-to-hartfeld @kozabaji @texaskitten30 @ibldw-main @kimmiedoo5 @nikkis1983 @dangerouseggseagleartisan @gnatbrain @walker7519 @lodberg @cmestrella @hopefulmoonobject @addictedtodrakefanfic @angi15h @liamxs-world @rafasgirl23415 @notoriouscs @whenyourheartskipsabeat @jovialyouthmusic @nz1091 @yukinagato2012 @indiacater @seriouslybadchoices @rainbowsinthestorm @cordonianroyalty @custaroonie @beardedoafdonutwagon @dcbbw @qammh-blog

********

Freya got ready for the UN party, although she felt like not attending due to Drake’s attitude towards her. She’s been through heartbreak before, so in the back of her head she knew she’d get over him. If she didn’t attend, there would be questions and gossip regarding her absence. Adding the finishing touches, she was disturbed from her thoughts as Maxwell came bounding into the room.

“Is my lady ready?” Wearing that cheeky grin he always wore, she couldn’t help but laugh before returning to a melancholy expression.

“Yes.” Maxwell wasn’t convinced with her tone of voice that was now matching her facial expression, as she responded to him.

“What’s up blossom? You can tell me anything.”

“Nothing.”

“You sure?”

“Yes Max, I’m sure. It’s just being back home. The home that I abandoned. The home that I should have stayed at.” She lied, hoping that Max wouldn’t see straight through her. “I just miss my parents too. I saw Daniel before, you know my colleague from the bar. I feel guilty leaving him in the shit- he’s looked out for me ever since we were four. When my parents died, he was my rock.”

“Why didn’t you tell me any of this before?”

“Simple. No one asked.” Maxwell felt guilty now too- she was correct. When she came to Cordonia she was the glue that held everyone together- always asking about each and everyone’s past, listening to them ramble on about their self pity. No one had actually asked about her, maybe because she seemed so strong they all believed that she wasn’t hurting deep down. Maybe they believed she was invincible.

“From now on, you want to talk about anything at anytime time of the day- I’m your man. I’m so sorry. But you’re like my sister, I’m always going to be here for you no matter what happens.”

“Even if I decide to stay here?” Asking the rhetorical question, she didn’t want him to provide an answer- she hadn’t made up her mind yet as to where her future would be. “Anyway, come on Lord Beaumont- people will be wondering where we are.”

*****

Arriving at the venue, the two of them walked in arm in arm. The usual gesture for any type of ball. Fixing a fake smile towards the rest of the nobles- scrutinising the room they found Hana.

“Freya! You look amazing.”

“As do you Lady Hana.”

“Are you okay? You’ve been extremely quiet.” Hana asked looking concerned at her friend. She wasn’t the usual Freya they knew.

“Homesick right blossom?” Maxwell confirmed, winking at her. Not wanting to spread gossip even if it was towards Hana. He knew when the time was right, Freya would talk about it to Hana herself.

“Right.” She smiled at Maxwell, hoping he would understand that was her way for saying thank you.

“I’ll be right back Ladies.” Freya and Hana decided to just people watch - both wishing they didn’t attend. There was a morbid atmosphere surrounding them.

“Freya. You look absolutely stunning. Same to you Lady Hana.” Turning around to Liam, she smiled softly- even though he was engaged to Madeleine he still knew how to charm the women.

“Thank you, your Majesty. Welcome back to my city.” The two ladies curtised, Liam shook his head laughing- he treat them both as close friends, he didn’t expect them both to curtsy every time they spoke.

“It’s good to be back.”

“Freya is feeling a bit homesick.”

“Oh. Well maybe we could all do something together after the party finishes. What would you suggest?”

“Well you’re in the city that never sleeps. There’s a few things you could do.. Times Square, a walk around Central Park. I’ll let you all come to a conclusion. As a local I’ve done everything a billion of times.”

“Very well, excuse me- duty calls.”

Hana watched Liam walk away and her eyes caught Maxwell waving frantically towards them. Walking over to him, they could see the panic written across his face as well as sweat dripping from him forehead.

“Hana, Frey thank goodness you are both here.”

“What have you done? You’re acting very suspicious.” Maxwell explained how he got the country flags all mixed up and in a flap he couldn’t concentrate on rectifying his mistake. Drake confirmed this and elaborated on what else he had done incorrectly in a sarcastic manner of tone- as if Maxwell was some kind of idiot. Mistakes happen.

“Oh Maxwell.” The Ladies said in unison. Freya had avoided all contact with Drake until now- she knew she was stubborn, after all he always got ‘lumbered’ with her.

“How about you Sir Walker? Caused any diplomatic disasters yet?” She asked in a sarcastic manner, revenge for him talking the way he did about Maxwell.

“Johnson. Can we speak in private please?” Just apologise to her, that will be the first step.

“Whatever you need to say you can say in front of Max and Hana.” Maxwell and Hana looked at each other, they knew Drake wasn’t the type of person to need to speak to someone in private.

“I need to go to the bathroom.” Hana ran off towards the bathroom. Freya knew Hana, and she knew this was an excuse. At least she had Maxwell she thought.

“I need to check up on Bertrand.”

Not you too, for fuck sake. Freya thought.

“You look lovely. I just wanted to apologise for before.”

“Thank you. Apology accepted. Excuse me.”

“Why are you so stubborn?” Freya raised her eyebrows, thinking about how much of a hypocrite he sounded right now.

“Why are you such a jerk?”

“You know what, ignore what I said. I’ll leave you alone. I shouldn’t have apologised.”

“Have a good life Walker.” A good life? What’s she going to do ignore me for the rest of her life. Just tell her you love her you moron.

******

Leaving Drake, Freya decided to mingle with the guests- trying to regain her courtly friendships prove that she wasn’t the person that she had been stereotyped as. Adelaide waved her over, holding the bottle of champagne ready to pour it into Freya’s empty glass.

“Duchess Adelaide, it’s so lovely to see you.”

“As you dear, now I know technically we shouldn’t be allies- but I think you’re good for court. I’ve been watching you and I believe that you have gained many friendships during your time. Is that correct?”

“Yes, your grace. Some friendships, some enemies- but that is life.”

“Tell me some things about you. I’d love to know the real Freya Johnson.” Feeling slightly tipsy, what had she to lose? The more she thought about it the more she didn’t care anymore. After much deliberation, she had decided that she wasn’t returning to Cordonia- so the gossip about her may as well spread like wild fire. Who’s best to spill all her secrets out to? Duchess Adelaide- the gossip girl.

“The real me.. let’s see... my life has been a rollercoaster. I’m not American, well I am but I was actually born in England. I was adopted after my birth mother tragically passed away due to an overdose, then my adopted parents passed away when I was a teenager. I’m a qualified nurse- so if there are any medical disasters I’m your girl. There you have it. Nothing much more to say.” Adelaide for the first time was speechless, not knowing what to say- wondering if anyone else knew or had she just confessed all of this due to the drunk mind.

“Oh dear, you have been through so much. I didn’t know. Regina and Madeleine have painted such a negative image of you. Now you have this scandal hanging over you. If you ever need to talk we can talk over wine. Just let me know.”

“Thank you. Excuse me. I’ll have to mingle with some other people - but i will take you up on that offer at some point.” Lying knowing she would never take the Duchess up with this offer, she left keeping her head held high.

******

The champagne was being swallowed easy as if it was water, slowly beginning to affect her. Finding Maxwell, he explained how he had accidentally hit the Turkish ambassador with some bruschetta- regretting missing the scene, she comforted him. Freya then noticed Drake in the corner, her drunk mind was encouraging to jump into his arms- she had a school girl crush on him even if he was an ass with her- always getting ‘lumbered’ with her.

“Why do you keep giving Drake dirty looks, then change it to a swoon?”

“Max shut up please.”

“Am I missing something here? I thought you was feeling down because we were back in New York?”

“It’s me that’s missing something- I’m missing brain cells. I’m in love with him and he hates my guts Max.” Maxwell tried to gain her attention by waving his hand next to his neck.

“In love with who?” The familiar voice asked as he crept up to the two friends.

“Oh, erm. Daniel. My ex colleague. I’m in love with him, in a best friend kinda way- always have been we’ve known each other since we were four. I saw him before and he’s still pissed that I abandoned him without any goodbye.”

“Oh, I see. Why do you look sheepish Maxwell?”

“Erm. Erm. Well the truth is Liam.... I just threw bruschetta all over the Turkish ambassador. Freya here, was just explaining that she lost her brain cells that day she left here, and that Daniel is mega pissed still.” Feeling thankful that Maxwell had agreed with her impromptu excuse- she knew he was going be demanding questions once they were alone.

“Very well. Don’t worry Lady Freya, I’m sure he will forgive you in time. I’ll see you both soon.”

Watching Liam leave, Maxwell grabbed her hand- leading her out of the venue and up to the rooftop for some privacy.

*****

“So?”

“So?” Freya mimicked Maxwell, in an annoying tone of manner, knowing he was going to be persistent until she told him the truth- the whole truth and nothing but the truth.

“Come on blossom, you can’t drop a bombshell like that then not talk about it.”

“There’s nothing to say Max, I’m stupidly in love with someone who would never return the feelings.”

“When did you....you know gain feelings for him?”

“Honestly, probably Lythikos I started to fall for him. I know I was supposed to fall Liam, and I did try - honestly I did Max. Then when I was thrown out of the coronation- I knew I was madly in love with Drake Walker. We have this love/hate relationship. Sometimes he’s a good friend, then he’s an arrogant pig...”

“Have you told him?” Shaking her head, she began to cry before composing herself. “When you guys were sleeping before, I saw him and we went shopping then ended up in my old bar. I told Daniel that Drake was ‘my hot date’ and he looked disgusted at me. Said that ‘he didn’t like me that much and always got lumbered with me’. Asking him if he couldn’t take a joke and asking why he was an ass with me- he was just cruel. So I left him- Max there’s something I need to tell you.”

“Shoot! I said I was always here for you. Drake’s just being Drake.”

“I know. Erm. I’ve been thinking a lot since we arrived back here...” Maxwell looked concerned, not knowing what she was going to say- but vibes were informing him that it wasn’t positive. “I don’t think I’m going to return to Cordonia. I’ve had a fantastic time, meeting you all- I’ve loved every second of it even with the scandal- life has to have that bit of drama in it right?”

“What? No you have to come back! You’re my sister. Fuck Drake. Please tell me it’s not to do with Drake? You have me and Hana.. and Bertrand... and Liam...”

“Max I will come and visit, I promise. But I can’t be around someone that I love who doesn’t return the feelings. I can’t be around Liam when he has confessed that he loves me. I’m a qualified nurse Max, earlier on I applied for a job in Vegas.”

******

Maxwell escorted Freya back to the hotel after her heart to heart with him. Furious that she didn’t want to return because of one person especially. Heading back to the party- everyone tried to reach out to him wondering where Freya was. His mind was set on finding Drake and giving him a piece of his mind. Anger building up inside of him- he knew he had to escort Drake somewhere private.

“Walker. I need a word. Follow me.” Drake looked bewildered to Maxwell’s out of character personality- he had never witnessed him looking like he was about to explode.

“What’s up Beaumont?”

“You see here? I’ve just had Freya emotionally break down here, confess things to me that I never knew about.”

“So what? Where is she anyway? You’re usually both glued to each other. At least I’m not lumbered with her tonight.” Drake needed to keep his feelings towards her a secret- knowing that everyone was trying to clear her name, if they managed to do this Drake knew that Liam would instantly propose to her. Before he could think about it anymore- he felt Maxwell’s fist against his jaw.

“She’s gone back to the hotel crying over you! I’ve lost my sister because of you. What has she ever done to you? I hope your jaw hurts, but it won’t be as much pain as what she’s going through!”

“Why have you lost her because of me? She was probably drunk, hence why she was emotional. She’s done nothing wrong to me Max.... it’s all a facade.” Drake rubbed his jaw- before furrowing his eyebrows. Maxwell noticed the change in expression before Drake elaborated. “The truth is... once her name gets cleared, Liam is going to propose to her. If she had any brain she would say yes...”

“No, she wouldn’t say ‘yes’ Drake. She’s madly in love with you.”

“I’m a nobody Max, she may think she loves me but she will soon realise it was never me that she apparently loves. I keep acting like a jerk, to push her away from me- because I don’t want to get hurt, or get my ‘ice cold heart’ shattered when she marries the King. I’m a jerk that is madly in love with Freya Johnson.”