friendlyneighborhoodmomfriend

[friendlyneighborhoodmomfriend]

It's honestly hilarious how terrified people are of being single/not getting constant attention/validation from the opposite sex

You discard my existence the moment some broad throws herself at you for 3 months, just to get dumped again, and you're immediately simping for other chicks? You even over your 3 month long fling yet? Or are you gonna go back to her and have the cycle repeat? God, you're fucking pathetic.

[friendlyneighborhoodmomfriend]

There's a reason why I keep my distance/don't get attached to anyone if I have a gut feeling they're not good people

I refuse to trust or show any vulnerability towards narcissists, energy vampires, people who cause their own problems and expect other people to save them/fix the mistakes they made. More importantly, why do people continue to pursue others who aren't good for them? When multiple people are telling them the same thing? It's so frustrating.

[friendlyneighborhoodmomfriend]

Trying to be as open minded as possible, but it's really hard not to based on what I observed...

I want to be happy for my best friend, but it's hard to be when I pick up sketchy vibes from the new girlfriend. I don't know anything about this girl other than her name, her age, where she's originally from, is currently in the process of divorcing her soon-to-be-ex-husband, has a kid with said soon-to-be-ex-husband, and apparently cleans people's houses for a living. And is obviously fucking my best friend because she wears his t-shirts in her Facebook profile pictures. I don't know about ya'll, but I think that's kind of sketchy and trashy. Who the fuck immediately jumps into dating someone new when they're not even legally divorced yet? Like ya'll were married for how long? You've been separated from him for less than 6 months and you want to date/have sex with someone else? Sounds to me like this white-trash girl is using my best friend as a rebound. Did she cheat on her ex-husband with my best friend? Were they divorcing before they started talking? How do I know this girl isn't going to cheat on my best friend? Is this going to be a repeated occurrence? And who the fuck thinks it's okay and normal to have to hide a relationship from friends and family if it's an unsafe situation? Like why would you even entertain the idea of dating anyone when you can't even be open and honest about it with your inner circle? Why would ANYONE want to be involved in that kind of situation? Why? He then tells me that this girl apparently wants to meet me, has told her all about me, yet I haven't even been introduced to her yet via video chat like how I was introduced to other important people. She hasn't shown any inkling of interest in me, doesn't seem to want to get to know me; especially since he apparently told her about my band...yet doesn't follow us? Doesn't show support for the band? Didn't add the other two members? I don't know. Something isn't right here, but my poor friend has been "lonely" for so long that he will immediately let his guard down for any broad that throws herself at him. Apparently he had a spat with two mutual friends regarding her too, and he's been friends with those two people for a long time, so if that isn't a red flag, I don't know what is. He "promised" and re-assured me that nothing changes this friendship, but I have a sick feeling in my stomach that we're going to drift apart again. I'm sick to my stomach that she's going to hurt him. I have a sick feeling in my stomach that she's going to isolate him from everyone. I'm really scared and worried, but there's absolutely nothing I can do. I live 800 miles away, I physically cannot do anything but hope for the best.

[friendlyneighborhoodmomfriend]

Lol so because the girl you're fucking simps for a musician/artist, you have to simp for them too? Man, you're fucking pathetic.

[friendlyneighborhoodmomfriend]

"I hope you're okay, I miss you and love you guys very much"

LOL. What's the matter? Is your girlfriend busy? Did you and your girlfriend have a disagreement? Are you not physically with your girlfriend right now? Now you want to talk? Now you want to hear from me? God, you make me laugh. You "miss" me? Really? Well, maybe if you didn't forget I existed until it was convenient for you, I'd still talk to you. Maybe if you didn't break every single promise you ever made to me, I'd still talk to you. Maybe if you never kept me in the dark about everything, I'd still talk to you. I'm not going back. You made it abundantly clear that you don't have time to talk to me anymore. I'm honoring that boundary. I'm not regressing back to toxic and co-dependent habits anymore. You chose to stop talking to me like you used to because of her. You chose to treat me like an afterthought because of her. You told me verbatim that you're trying to build a life for yourself, which obviously doesn't include me, so focus on that. Stop reaching out to me because you're lonely. Stop reaching out to me because the people you dropped me for ain't available. Stop reaching out to me because no one else is around. I'm not a back up friend. I'm not a plan B friend. I'm not a floater friend. I'm not a last resort. I'm not a rebound. I'm not a consolation prize. I used to be near the top of your priority list and I got bumped down to the bottom because some girl threw herself at you. I used to be the person you'd confide in about everything but I got replaced. You really think I'm just going to forget about all of the pain you inflicted on me just because you actually talked to me instead of sending me memes? You really think I'm just going to forget that you deliberately dismissed and invalidated my feelings when I expressed how sad I was that we stopped talking? You really think I'm just going to welcome you back into my life with open arms because you realized how much you fucked up by abandoning me? Get the fuck out of here. ....and what the fuck do you mean by "love YOU GUYS very much"? You're talking to only me, who are these "guys" you're referring to? Is that your way of telling me that you love me but can't say "I love you" directly without sounding inappropriate? Man, you're pathetic.

I'm healing now. Leave me the fuck alone.

[friendlyneighborhoodmomfriend]

“How a person reacts to your sadness says a lot about how long they’re going to be in your life.”

— S. Z.

[friendlyneighborhoodmomfriend]

Detachment is hard, some days I'm okay and other days like today I feel sad.

Best friend got a girlfriend now and we literally don't talk anymore. He's always on the phone with her. All day. Every day. Unless I get sent a meme, conversations cease to exist. Going from talking every day for the last four and a half years to absolutely nothing is fucking soul crushing. I'm not even his best friend anymore...just "friends" now lol. I want to be happy and supportive, but when I continue to get ignored and left on delivered/seen for several hours, it makes me want to disappear. What hurts the most is that in the past, he'd tell me about girls he's been seeing/casually dating. This time he straight up neglected to tell me. In the past, he promised nothing would ever change; he promised we'd still talk all the time. He promised we'd still video chat regardless of who he was seeing/talking to...now he "doesn't have the time" anymore because now this new girl is LITERALLY taking up all of his time and attention. It fucking sucks. I miss video chatting. I miss playing Animal Crossing together. I miss playing Fallout and getting great tips/helpful hints about it. I miss getting pictures of his dog, whatever food he's eating, or anything nice that he'd see while he'd be out and about. I miss getting sneak previews of songs his band hasn't released yet. I miss being told to be safe on the way home or wherever I was going. I miss shooting the shit, just talking about anything and everything. I miss when he'd ask what kind of tea I'd have in the morning. I miss when he'd ask if I was okay after being quiet for several hours.

Now the only time I can talk to him is if by chance he's on Discord at the same time as I am. And even if we are, we don't actually talk because he's muted half the time. Or I don't even see his face because he keeps his camera off. This is exactly what I feared, and it all came true. Every single male best friend I've ever had in my life fucking ditches me the second he has the opportunity to get some ass and pussy. I fucking hate this. And there's literally nothing I can do to get any of that back. That chapter is officially, and permanently, over. All I can do now is accept that this is how things are going forward, and silently support him from a distance.

[friendlyneighborhoodmomfriend]

If you told me from the get-go that you've been seeing/casually dating someone over the last couple weeks/months, I would have backed off immediately. And this is a great thing that's happening for you, why didn't you share that with me?

[friendlyneighborhoodmomfriend]

When you pour your heart out expressing how the lack of connection is upsetting you and you get dismissed.

The fact that my absence doesn't bother you anymore clearly shows how much my friendship means to you. Now I'm really done.

[friendlyneighborhoodmomfriend]

I'm tired of being the therapist friend

Especially when the people I play therapist for would never do any of the things that I'd do for them. Spending hours listening to them scream, cry, wail, moan, repeat themselves every 5 minutes...I want to be the friend that people can rely on during their darkest moments, but it would be nice if I'm guaranteed reciprocation if I'm ever in their position too.

[friendlyneighborhoodmomfriend]

So let me get this straight...

If other people make a mistake, I'm not allowed to be upset by it. My reaction/feelings get invalidated/dismissed/diminished. But if I make a mistake, I get yelled at and barely get a chance to rectify the mistake? If I fuck up, I have to feel guilty and worse than I already do? If you're in a horrible mood, you get to scream, throw things and slam doors, but if I respond in a frustrated tone, I'm the bitch? This is why I'm a fucking perfectionist because I'm not allowed to make mistakes. I'm not allowed to do anything wrong.

Fuck everyone today.

[friendlyneighborhoodmomfriend]

It took me way too long to finally say this...

I can't be your best friend anymore. We barely talk anymore except for just random memes here and there. We haven't had an actual conversation in weeks, and it's time to acknowledge that I failed at being a real friend to you for the last 4 and a half years. I've been holding you back from becoming the person you deserve to be. This friendship has been hindering you from growing and thriving into the successful adult you deserve to be. All I've done is drain your time, energy, and phone battery with the constant texts and video chats, and I can't continue to do that to you anymore. You have your own life, your own goals, your own destiny, things that I'm not meant to be a part of; our lives are too different. We're 800 miles apart for fucks sake; you need to surround yourself with people you can physically see and talk to, people who can push you to be the best version of yourself you can possibly be, I can't do that from here. My friendship with you is probably the main reason why you're still single. Let's be real, no woman wants to be with a guy who constantly talks to another woman; regardless if the other woman is married, single, what have you. "A guy having a female best friend" is apparently a red flag in relationships these days, and I don't want to be the reason why you can't close a deal with a potential girlfriend; it's not fair to you. You deserve love and happiness. You deserve a stable and loving relationship, even if it means we can't talk and be as close as we used to be anymore. It's better this way, and you know it. I'm glad you got to see me get married in 2021. I'm glad I got to meet your family and your bandmates last year. It was a great experience, and I will always cherish the memories we made together; but it's time to move on and stop holding onto the past. Things are different now; things are supposed to change, even if those changes are difficult. I don't want or like changes towards things that make me happy and comfortable, but they are inevitable in life. I hope you find happiness. I hope all of your dreams come true. I hope you have a long and happy life, even if it means I don't get to be a part of it anymore. I'll always care about you and hope for the best in your life, from a distance. Maybe some day when your band goes on tour, I can see you again. Until then, take care of yourself.

[friendlyneighborhoodmomfriend]

Note to self: stop chasing people who treat you like an option instead of a priority. Stop making time for people who don't make time for you. Stop getting attached to people you can't make actual plans with, you're making yourself sick. Let them go. Live your life. Forget about them. You deserve to be happy.

[friendlyneighborhoodmomfriend]

Why are you so angry?

My job has been a nightmare. I hate my father-in-law. I barely see/talk to my friends anymore because everyone is busy. I can't afford to live anywhere else. I feel trapped, voiceless, and living the same life as I lived for the last 4 years. No growth, no good changes. Only bad. I'm going to be 33 in 5 days and I feel like a complete failure. I should have accomplished more at my age, but I fucked it all up because I stupidly didn't want to leave my comfort zone when I was 17/18 years old. I hate myself. I hate everything. I'm miserable. No way out.

[friendlyneighborhoodmomfriend]

"How are you feeling? Doing okay?"

"Oh sure, just realizing how little I matter to people I'd cross oceans for. Realizing that I'm not as high on the priority list as I thought. Realizing I'm just a floater friend, people only talk to me and hit me up when it's convenient for them. I'm nobody's best friend. I overexaggerate my importance in everyone's life so I end up hurting myself." *deletes paragraph* "Doing alright, you? :) "

[friendlyneighborhoodmomfriend]

Finally got the shirt...was sent the wrong size. I asked for a small. Like...six times whether it was in text or a video call. Yet I got a medium. I feel like this was done on purpose. There's no fucking way this wasn't just a simple mistake. Do you really not give a shit about me? Do you seriously not care about me, my wants, anything I say? I really feel like the stupidest most ridiculous person to walk the earth for gassing up your band, yet you and your band treat me like I'm nothing. Everybody else who buys shirts from ya'll gets the sizes they want, yet when I ask for one...I'm deliberately given the wrong size. I'm so fucking embarrassed. "I promise I’ll send you one this week, I’ll get one while I’m here♥" "I’ll send another one I promise." Oh shut the fuck up. No the fuck you won't. You forgot to take one home when you had practice on Saturday. You're not going to give me a new one until like 3 months from now because you'll be too busy for me. Distracted. Agitated. You're gonna "forget." And by the time you do fucking remember, there won't be any left. So I'll have to settle for something I didn't want. Whatever.

Fuck me and my wants and needs.

You know what's bullshit?

Your band got new t-shirts in fucking NOVEMBER and I've asked you several times since then where to send the money so I can get a fucking shirt too, but I got blatantly ignored. I see some girl posting a selfie on your page wearing your shirt yet I've been asking for one for fucking months. I express how it upsets me and you turn it around to make it about yourself. I've put my wants and feeling aside for everyone else my entire fucking life but the one time I put my foot down, I'm the one who ends up feeling shitty and guilty for saying anything at all. Know what else fucking sucks? You send me songs your band records, I drop everything I'm doing to listen, tell you my thoughts, what have you. Even if it's not right away, I make sure I dedicate time to listen because you're my best friend and I love your band to death. I send you songs my band records and I get left on read. I send you songs and you tell me that you'll check it out later, which you never do. You get "distracted." You're too "agitated" to make time for me. I have to remind you multiple times, which makes me feel like an annoying pest asking over and over because your thoughts matter to me. I expected to have some kind of reciprocation when it comes to sharing my art with you, but you clearly don't care. You "don't have time" for me anymore. Yeah, you're "so stressed out" from "so many things," and you don't have time to take five fucking minutes of your "ever-so-busy" day to listen to my music that I poured my blood, sweat, tears, heart, and soul into recording, yet you're on Facebook all day posting memes, reacting to and responding to comments from everyone on your posts, and heart reacting to pictures of half naked OnlyFans chicks and their selfies. Makes me feel real good; thanks a lot, asshole.

[friendlyneighborhoodmomfriend]

FUCK. YOU.

You disappeared on me...it would have been nice to have your company when I wasn't okay...I'm always there for you anytime you need someone to talk to...I always make sure you're okay when you're struggling and needing support...but you disappeared on me when I needed someone to talk to. Hours went by. I saw you were active on Messenger all day. I saw you posting shit on Facebook. Why did you leave me on read? Why weren't you there when you fucking PROMISED you'd be there to help me feel better? I'm officially fucking done. I don't want your fucking band's t-shirt anymore.