#if my tree dies im killing everyone and then myself

[thewickerking]

hey. what?

well. For context everyone im assuming this ask is referring to this post and my tags below

im assuming because of the. The.

Many. Prev tags on it lmao but anyways here's more context. ill try to keep specific elements vague cause i don't want to doxx my grandma and by extension myself. But yeah let's go

my grandma (maternal) ran away from home in her teens (not sure the exact year/age but 70s ish) to join the circus and worked there for an amount of time doing ticket sales and miscellaneous jobs that aren't performance based

she met a guy also working there and they dated. this guy joined a satanic cult after joining the circus (? I think. Mightve been the other way around) and performed ritualistic sacrifice within the cult/with his murder victims. he was not in charge of the cult but was an active member and serial killer across around 4 states, maybe more (evidence was found for about 4 states iirc)

anyways he got caught for evidence of multiple murders but confessed to upwards of 20 (they couldn't find evidence of this so its unclear if he was exaggerating or if there simply wasn't enough irrefutable evidence) and went to prison while my grandma was pregnant and she was also arrested as an accomplice and had her kid in prison. She was 18 at the time. Idk how long she spent in prison but it was long enough to have her son taken away

her son (first of her four children, was my oldest uncle on my moms side) has adopted parents who changed his first and last name and didn't let him know about his biological parents (and were also extremely abusive) and so my mother and her siblings and her mom did unsuccessful research to find him over the years and he found our family a few years before he turned 30 (my moms ten years younger than him btw) and we've been in contact since and he was my personal favorite of my moms siblings

Oh also the serial killer got sentenced to life without parole and is currently on death row. My uncle died last year from unrelated circumstance (I posted about it some last year if anyone remembers) and my mom adopted 2 of 3 of his kids (3rd was a legal adult already) and then they got kidnapped and their kidnappers won the custody battle against my mom so. Yeah

Oh also worth noting my mom is the youngest of the four. my grandma had four kids with different men so im not related to the serial killer but he is in my family tree? Anyways yeah different fathers. My grandma remembers the serial killer and my moms father (my abuelito ♡ love him) but doesn't remember the fathers of the middle children (my aunt and uncle). So they're my moms half siblings technically and nobody knows if the middle children have other half siblings on their dads' sides 🤷‍♂️ but my mom has a half sister on her dad's side! She's 2 years younger than me bc my abuelito got married to his ex wife later in life but they're not together anymore (?) Not sure. They broke up idk if they legally divorced but they live in different countries and don't talk to each other. So.

Id love to meet her someday! But I don't know if thats feasible. She lives in Mexico and only speaks spanish so it would certainly be difficult. But I want to.... she almost immigrated to the United States like. 6 years ago?? My mom paid for documents to be legally translated and stuff but stuff happened and it didn't go through.she also tried to kill her mom once. But she's doing better. That's all a long story. We have a picture of her in our house from when she was little!

Ok thats very tangent-y. I have a lot of family stories. But also if anyone was curious this post below was also about my maternal grandmother

shes a white woman who likes to weaponise having "friends" in nepal when people are mean to her. She's a character. if ppl are curious abt any of this i will answer btw i love talking abt my family they're deranged

[giiyus]

the tornado by owl city is c!tubbo's song and c!tubbo's only (or in other words im bored so let's analyze the tornado in a c!tubbo lense)

—

It was just startin' to drizzle as I walked out the door

But I've delivered papers in the rain like that before

3:30 in the morning, I was happy as a lark

As I grabbed my bike and rode into the dark

i think of this as him first arriving to the dsmp as his innocent, bubbly self. the phrase "happy as a lark" showing that he's overjoyed to be there and that he is carefree and unaware of the grimmer realities about to take place ("rode into the dark")

I pedaled through the neighborhood, the weather on my mind

The wind was pickin' up and howlin' louder all the time

The sky churned like a cauldron and the distant thunder roared

And I knew that I was in for quite a storm

this is the early dsmp arc, before the lmanburg war for independence. tubbo is getting into some small conflicts, including the disc war, and wondering what's happening in the caravan with wilbur and tommy. he doesn't know it yet, but both the disc war and wilbur/tommys caravan shit would get him into so much future trouble that is soon approaching hence the "the distant thunder roared".

i see the lyric "and i knew that i was in for quite a storm" as me reflecting on tubbo's story because even though in some extent he knew that it wasn't going to be easy to declare independence from dream, he did not know how big that conflict and the following conflicts would be and affect him, but i do (and he was most definitely in for quite a big horrific storm)

A little rain never hurt no one, so I kept pressin' on

And I tried to tell myself it's always darkest before the dawn

shit is starting to get real in the lmanburg war

Lighting struck an oak tree as I leapt off my bike

The sirens started wailing, but there was no good place to hide

I knew without a doubt there was a twister touchin' down

So I crawled into a culvert to wait it out

enter schlatt and his administration/tubbo acting as a spy

culvert = his tunnels from schlatt to pogtopia

The little bit of courage I had left was almost gone

But I tried to tell myself it's always darkest before the dawn

execution, he still tries to see the good in everyone though

And then the nightmare started, it got deafeningly loud

Every fiber in me screamed out, but I couldn't make a sound

The whirling of a vortex, a violent carousel

It sounded like a freight train was draggin' me to hell

lmanburg destroyed first time leading into c!tubbo exiling tommy, "deafeningly loud" = tnt raining on the city, fireworks hitting everywhere (trauma alert)

And this was my prayer

"Save me from this terrible nightmare"

he is utterly alone, everyone calls him schlatt and a villain, he was this happy go lucky guy turned traumatic devastating teenager

That was when I saw my family with my eyes shut real tight

Would they know how much I loved them if this was how I died?

No, I vowed I'd not be murdered by a monster in the sky that night

c!tubbo doesn't end everything?? lmanburg destroyed AGAIN (seriously they love exploding that shit)

"murdered by a monster in the sky that night" referring to the tnt raining down on lmanburg

But if I went home to heaven, at least that's where I'd belong

Yeah, I tried to tell myself it's always darkest before the dawn

So I kept hangin' on

I kept hangin' on

he keeps persevering, the creation of snowchester (his new supposed safe haven) is made

The shadows slowly melted as I was hunkered down

'Til at last the worst was over, the storm was dyin' out

I crept out of that culvert and I went weak in the knees

'Cause what I saw was a somber sight to see

they start the finale disc war, there's fighting. "somber sight" being the place where dream was going to kill tubbo (the prison)

There was nothin' but destruction and wreckage in that town

Cars were upside down and houses leveled to the ground

A twisted trampoline was hangin' from the power lines

I blinked a tear back 'cause I felt lucky to be alive

finale disc war, dream didn't kill him. i think that even though he was passively suicidal in this, he felt a sliver of hope that things would look up. "a twisted trampoline " part relating to c!dream losing two canon lives and being stuck in the prison for (supposedly) forever

And that was how I learned to live when you can run, but you can't hide

How to feel trapped in a tunnel but come out the other side

'Cause with all the stormy weather in the world, you learn to take life one storm at a time

You don't have to be afraid

And now when there's bad weather on the way, I stay calm

more snow chester healing arc + cabinetduo drama but instead of being afraid and silent, tubbo sticks up for what he wants/believes in and won't let quackity push him around

And I keep hangin' on because it's always darkest before the dawn

And I keep hangin' on

I keep hangin' on

i see this as tubbo telling micheal about some of his story as a life lesson to be taught (watered down ofc he's still a kid) and living happily with c!ranboo

i see this as a nice ending to the dsmp in my mind so thats the point in the lore where i stop :)

[sirenofthegreenbanks]

🐝🪳🪰

henlo!! (bops you on the nose) thank you for these great questions! im overflowing with fics i nEED to rec!!!!!!!!!!!!! (i realized all of these fics are longfics and that u may not necessarily enjoy reading those; feel welcome to drop me the same bugs in my inbox and ill do a short version for you <3)

🐝 recommend a fic with great symbolism, or themes, something really clever, or, like. just something you could write a whole literary essay about!!!

there are honestly so many fics i could write a literary essay about so im restraining myself to the first option

within us an orchard by mintyfish (guckindieluft). QY, WOH, pre-canon/canon divergence, wenzhou, tian chuang era, secret garden-esque, grief/mourning, identity shenanigans, injury tending, murder husbands, M. zhou zishu, leader of tianchuang, enlists the mysterious intruder he caught in the middle of stealing into his manor to garden work. while they heal his miserable excuse of an inner courtyard garden, zhou zishu also finds his will to live.

something something nature, grief, intersections:

By month's end, the north-facing branches of the plum tree were as black and twisted as the half-consumed wreckage of a house fire. If he stood on his roof, Zhou Zishu could see the flecks of budding plum trees painted across the city. His might just be slower—but a hard dark certainty had taken up residence in his gut. It wasn't going to bloom. In a week, Zhou Zishu would drive the second nail into his meridians.

Wen Kexing's approving little nods couldn't mask what was surely now obvious to both of them: Zhou Zishu had created a killing jar. Was it really so surprising that everything in it was dying?

But then, the book said—fire. Really, of all the things Zhou Zishu had done in the garden these weeks, treating the plum tree should have been the most familiar: cut down what must be cut down, cauterise what might be saved, and burn out the rot before it could spread. Court factions, families, trees—contain them or kill them, the tools were the same. Whether the tree would survive, the book could not tell him.

🪰 recommend a fic that makes you sad (in the best way!!)! Some great angst and/or hurt/comfort!

ripple by notoneoftheheroes. QY, WOH, pre-canon/canon divergence, wenzhou, alternative version of events, identity shenanigans, happy end, whump, angst, siji manour, M. a trick allows zhou zishu to move his sect back to the jianghu, (almost!) out from under the thump of the crown prince. but his sect, the family of his choosing, gets more and more dissatisfied with the choices zhou zishu makes to maintain that delicate balance and ensure their survival, and things start to tighten around zhou zishu‘s throat. will he lose everyone he loves? zhou zishu is an unreliable narrator in this one, and as things get worse and worse with the sect members he views as his family here, you can watch as each side makes terrible choices that lead them almost to a terrible end.

the two headed dragon by lisbeth_laufeyson. WOH alternative canon universe, childhood friends to lovers, angst, grief/mourning, manipulation, optimistic but open end*, E. out of the shadow, someone wants siji manour ill. things take a turn for the worse when wen kexing himself, one of the two leaders of tianchuang, gets fatally wounded and almost dies. over the course of his long coma, zhou zishu is vulnerable and falls into dark waters while trying to save his sect. this fic really examines zhou zishu‘s potential for committing atrocities, caused by his desire to do good and stoked by someone he trusts but shouldnt. you know who is behind it, thats not a spoiler, but they dont, and it hangs over the story like a dark cloud. this fic comes with a major character death tag! as with the last chapter that is not up to date anymore! there is a sequel! *important edit for clarification: its a bad ending! the only thing that could inspire u to be optimistic about it is that the person u think is dead turns out to not be dead!

🪳 recommend a great AU!

in a city sorrow built by wearealltalesintheend. WOH pre/canon divergence/alternative universe, family of choice, grief/mourning, fluff, T. the ghost valley is no place for a child, and thus wen kexing grows up on top of a mountain with an old monster, a goofy swordsmith, and a grieving old lady. yet, he clutches that glooming coal of rage and sorrow close to his chest, and decades later his revenge unfolds. i loved this so much for how it changes basically everything about wen kexing‘s backstory, and thus creates this alternative universe in which wen kexing Has It Better, but manages to examine how in the end it only marginally makes an impact on his desire for revenge and chaos. i loved the different faces of mourning and grief and how here, even more people join the collection of loved ones wen kexing loses. only now he truly isnt alone in his grief and he‘s arguably better emotionally prepared for it. this is a wip!

bug me for fic recs!!!!! do it!!!!!!!!

[radiandromeda]

13 for everyone

> R:ALL_DISCLOSED

A sharp inhale.

Whirring.

> Have they ever nearly died?

——————

MARROS: iin this economyy???

MARROS: oof course i havee. bbetter question is who /hasntt/

——————

ALTHEA: ‹|3 Hi again ≈:D!!!

ALTHEA: ‹|3 I uhh

ALTHEA: ‹|3 .....

ALTHEA: ‹|3 Yeah But im fine now!!! Survivign + thriving + etc Im all good

—————— [CW for implied suicidal ideation below]

JARRAH: yes [•—•]

JARRAH: a couple times . actually [•—•]

JARRAH: there was the time my lusus almost killed me [•—•]

JARRAH: and the other time my lusus almost killed me [•—•]

JARRAH: and the various times i almost died in the sun or of exhaustion for no reason [•—•]

JARRAH: times i got really . really sick [•—•]

JARRAH: and the time i overdosed on psioactive substances and set myself and the forest on fire and was in the hospicull for half a sweep [•—•]

JARRAH: maybe some others i dont remember [•—•]

JARRAH: not sure if the times i baited strangers online into threatening my life counts [•—•]

JARRAH: think i fell out of a really tall tree once [•—•]

JARRAH: the overdose one is most recent though . and its been a while since then [•—•]

JARRAH: dont know if that means im due for another one like it soon [•—•]

JARRAH: . . . [•—•]

—————— [CW for implied suicidal ideation above]

VELMEN: HMMMMMM

VELMEN: DEF¡NE """NEARLY"""

——————

ZEPERI: _oh_shit_hey

ZEPERI: uhhhhhh________hm

ZEPERI: ___yeah_i_mean__everyone_has_a_few_close_dr0ne_encounters

ZEPERI: or_enclownters_or_whatever____seadwellers

ZEPERI: regular_hazards_of_alternia

ZEPERI: doesnt_happen_as_often_when_i_dont_leave_the_hive__i_can_tell_u_that

ZEPERI: _and_when_i_do_now_im_uhhh__

ZEPERI: _

ZEPERI: ___i_should_probably_tell_them_thank_you_

——————

IZ: Geez +hi2 i2 a rough one

IZ: Umm.. no+ +ha+ I can +hink of....? )):|

IZ: My life i2 pre++y boring

[A burst of static that sounds like quiet, grainy snickering; quickly followed by a more distinguishable but still significantly distorted voice, seemingly scolding it.]

——————

DOC: ˗ˏˋ I've had my share of close calls! Uncertain doom comes with the territory; you know how it is. ˎˊ˗

DOC: ˗ˏˋ My various brushes with death have gotten easier to manage as time goes on, though. I'm not too worried. ˎˊ˗

[rosachaotic]

Remember when i said Talbott and Cereza werent over? Yeah.

I promised yall i would write a continuation of this. For those dont remember that happend, here

Anyways enjoy the fanfic!

Warning: none?? Its more just angst then fluff.(but sorry for my bad english and wording im not very good at writing and I wrote this on mobile)

It's been two months and few days since the big argument Talbott and Cereza had on the hospital wings.

This all happened because Cereza tried to do all the investigation and take down R by herself, but of course that plan failed and it backfired on her very badly. She fought the wizard in white and almost died because of it, losing her consciousness after he ran away, fortunately she was found by Moody who was searching for her after her twin brother said she went missing and was taken to the hospital wings.

She was scolded for it of course, and after that her friends went to visit her. All of her friends were worried for her, especially her twin brother Michael who jumped into her hugging her tight, crying, not realizing her whole body was in pain before he quickly let her go.

After a long chat with her friends and twin brother Talbott got in but he didn't look happy, he asked for everyone to leave him and Cereza alone because he wanted to talk to her, everyone left confused to what was going on.

Outside people could hear both Talbott and Cereza arguing with each other, Talbott was disappointed that Cereza lied to everyone including him about not having any information that could be useful for Circle ot Khanna and that she did is by herself he thought she was dead she could have died because of her reckless decision, Cereza tried to explain herself by saying she thought what she was doing was the right because she wanted to protect everyone which didn't make Talbott feel any less worse but the opposite. Both kept arguing with each other until Talbott storms out of hospital wings not looking at his friend's faces who were waiting outside, Penny tried to stop him but he just ignored her and walked away, once everyone back inside to the hospital they saw Cereza holding back her tears but she did a very job at it once everyone was inside and started crying.

----

Cereza rarely saw Talbott after what happened, she only saw him on the classes they shared but even then he didn't even talk to her, she decided to let it be not wanting to bother Talbott and she thought that this was the end of their relationship. This broke her alot, the happy girl that was always smiling and giggling all the time wasn't there anymore, not only she felt bad for what she did but she thought she lost one of the people she loved the most.

That was until Cereza got a letter in the morning, Andre gave it to her and said "It's from Talbott." She quickly opened the letter and read the paper that said:

"We need to talk. Meet me after dinner in the courtyard."

-Talbott

She thanked Andre for the letter who nodded and said "I hope everything works out for you guys." And left, Cereza also hoped that things would work out but she couldn't help but feel anxious about it. What did he want to talk about after dinner? Why did it have to wait?

"Does he want to end our relationship once and for all?" Cereza thought all day, Cereza knew how to be patient but this waiting was killing her.

During dinner she barely ate anything, Rowen(M!Rowan) was trying to make her eat something but she couldn't.

"You have to eat something, you can't sleep with an empty stomach." Said Rowen, worried for his best friend trying to make her eat. He knew about the letter, Cereza told him about it and he knew how nervous and anxious she was because of it.

"I can't, this wait is killing me.'' Cereza said anxiously.

She then looked around, noticing that Talbott wasn't at the ravenclaw table or at any table of the other houses.

"Did you see Talbott walk in?" Asked Cereza, still looking around, Rowen shook his head.

"No, I didn't, I don't think he is coming for dinner today." Rowen took a bite of his food as he said that.

"Why? Do you know about something??"

"No, no, but...Penny said she didn't see all day, he didn't go to any of his classes." Cereza felt her heart drop, this wasn't like him, he would NEVER miss any class, if there was something Talbott was proud of himself is that he was an excellent student.

"This isn't like him…" Whispered Cereza."I cant, i have to go."

"Wha- B-But dinner time isn't over yet!"

"I'm sorry Rowen, but I have to go."

"...Okay, good luck Cere!"

Cereza nodded and left the great hall running, she opened the big door to the corridor and rushed past the students to the courtyard.

As she got outside she looked around.

There he was, sitting on the tree trunk looking at the stars just like he would when he waited for her for their dates.. Cereza sighed with relief knowing that Talbott was okay...or was he?

She took a deep breath and walked toward him, stopping right before him.

"Hey…" Talbott jumped at hearing Cereza's voice, he was probably so lost in his thoughts that he didn't hear her walk in.

"Oh, Sorry I didn't hear you coming in…" Said Talbott awkwardly.

"Its okay…"

"..."

"Penny said she didn't see you all day, you also didn't come for dinner as well."

"I felt sick all day and I wasn't hungry."

"Oh...I'm sorry, I hope you're better now."

Silence took over, the only sound they heard was the cold night wind, making things kinda awkward. Until Talbott coughed and said

"Sit here with me." He tapped right next to him, Cereza then climbed the tree trunk and sat right next to him.

Again, the awkward silence.

Cereza then looked at the sky, it was a pretty starry night, she could see some shooting stars.

" The night is beautiful tonight isn't it?" Asked Talbott, breaking the silence.

"Yeah. It is beautiful."

"It reminds me of when we used to have our dates here, you would make wishes for the shooting stars."

"Stupid wishes, I know." Cereza giggled at her own stupid self.

"I never thought they were stupid." Said Talbott.

"Even the one where I wished for a giant puffskein?"

Cereza shook her head smiling a little bit and she also noticed Talbott was smiling a little as well, she missed seeing him smile, but they weren't there to watch the stars.

"Hey, if that's your wish, who am i to judge?

"Talbott-"

"Yeah?"

"Listen, I-I know you said you wanted to talk to me in your letter, but I want to say something first." Said Cereza nervously, while staring at the floor.

"...Go ahead."

She took a deep breath and then looked at his warm striking hazel, who met her golden eyes. Then she finally said:

"...I'm sorry."

"...Wha-"

"I'm sorry for what I did, Talbott. It was very dumb of me try to all of that on my own and it was and it was insensitive and bad of me not to tell you guys the information I had about R."

"Cereza-"

"I should have trusted you all to defend yourselves without my help, I shouldn't have lied to you guys about not finding anything."

"Cereza listen-"

"I shouldn't have done that, I could have died and i didn't thought about how you, my family and the rest of our friends would feel about it if I died, you were right when you said things wouldn't get any better if I-"

"CEREZA!"

Cereza jumped at Talbott who raised his voice at her, he gripped her shoulders and made her look at him, his eyes staring at her but he didn't look angry he looked sad.

"Just...listen to me please."

Cereza nodded and whispered "sorry" and let him talk.

"Look...after what happened, i couldn't stop thinking about that night on hospital wings. That night kept playing in my head over and over every time I went to bed...I felt awful"

"Huh-"

"I felt awful, Cereza. After I calmed down I realized what I just did and how I shouldn't have talked to you that way, but it was too late, I was already at my dorm and I couldn't bring myself to come back."

"..."

"I was ashamed."

"Is that the reason why you were avoiding me?"

Talbott nodded, he took a deep breath as if was holding himself to not cry.

"I thought you hated me."

"..."

"So I avoided you and everyone else as well, it was painful."

"Tal I-"

"I should have thought of your feelings, how were you feeling that made you do all of that yourself."

"...You had all the rights to react the way you did, it was a stupid and dangerous decision that I made."

"But I still shouldn't have said those things to you."

"..."

"I let my emotions take over me, my heart dropped when I saw Moody carrying you to the hospital wings....blood all over you and you unconscious and i thought i lost you..."

"..."

"When i heard you were alive, I was so happy and relieved...but when i heard about why you did that when I heard Michael talking to Moody I...I dont know what came over me, i was angry and disappointed"

"...I know-"

"Not only on you, but mostly on myself"

"..W-why? Why were you angry at yourself??"

"Because I thought I failed you, I couldn't protect you, I couldn't be there for you."

"But it wasn't your fault-"

"Let me finish..."

"..."

"But that doesn't excuse what I did, i didnt think about what you were feeling, how you were feeling. Your feelings that made you do this and your feelings after it...I called you selfish but I was even more selfish…"

"Tal…"

Cereza's hand went to Talbott's cheek, who jumped at her touch but then rested his face on her hand holding her hand even more close to his face. He closed his eyes while he felt her warmth on his skin again after so long.

"I'm sorry Cereza, I'm sorry for what I did. I'm sorry for everything."

"I forgive you."

Talbott's eyes quickly opened as he looked at her, he was surprised but it also looked like a heavy weight was lifted off his shoulders. She continued:

"But...do you forgive me as well?"

"Of course I do."

Cereza also felt as if a heavy weight was lifted off her shoulders as well, she smiled as she felt tears run down her face and she had to take off her glasses to clean it.

"I-I thought...I thought you called me to end everything between us." Said Cereza as she cried while she tried to clean her tears off her face. She was shaking a little and her breath was also shaky.

"I would never do that." He whispered. "If anything, I was more afraid of you wanting to break up with me."

Talbott got closer to her and hugged tight on to his body, catching her by surprise.

Cereza returned the tight hug, smiling while tears rolled down her face, Talbott also had tears rolling down his face who tried to hide by hiding his face on her shoulder but his shaky breath and the way he sniffed quietly gave it away he was crying. Cereza's hand went to Talbott's hair and was caressing his hair.

"I thought I was going to lose you." Whispered Talbott, not wanting to let her go.

"I thought the same thing…" Cereza whispered back, kissing his head.

Both of them stopped hugging each other as they cleaned their faces but still kept close, Talbott's hand travelled to Cereza's face and caressed her cheek, his hand was cold as always but Cereza never cared about that, she liked his touch.

They both stared at each other, they both knew it was awkward the way they stared at each other but they did not care, their gazes were filled with intense love.

Talbott kept his hand on Cereza's cheek and kissed her other cheek gently but his face didn't move away, in fact he kept face very close to hers moving only a little to her lips, their noses were touching each other and they could feel their heavy breaths, Cereza closed her eyes as she felt her heartbeat go very fast and her face was red, Talbott heart also felt like it was going to jump from his mouth and even his ears were dark red. He brushed his nose on to hers but then kissed her nose, he caressed her cheek once more smiling, Cereza then opened her eyes and saw his smile and smiled back at him. Both of them giving loving smiles at each other.

"I love you." Said Talbott.

Cereza's hand went to Talbott's face and to his cheek as well, as she sighed and smiled again.

"I love you too, meu amor.'

Talbott's smile grew as he heard again the loving way Cereza called him using her first language, while they didn't have their first kiss yet what matters is that they were both together again.

"Just promise to me that you will be more careful." Said Talbott.

Cereza nodded.

"I will...but, do you promise to never leave my side?" Asked Cereza, Talbott chuckled and said:

"I promise, my sunshine."

[mde1011]

when i got into the dsmp i started a note and wrote down any quotes or moments i thought were funny, and im bored at 3 am so enjoy some of them

how is being arrested real? just walk away!!!”

⁃ “once an american always an american. go...go protests masks...or something”

⁃ “...yEAH BUT DID YOU HAVE WAP” “what’s...whats wap?” “...WORSHIP AND PRAYER”

⁃ “HOW DO YOU LIKE POLITICS MOTHERFUCKER”

⁃ “i’m naked” “...no you’re not” “i can be...”

⁃ “uhhhh i’m in a high stress situation....i deal with these poorly”

⁃ “i should go first i’m naked”

⁃ “yEAHHHH WE KILLED AN OLD MAN WITH HEART PROBLEMS”

⁃ “what are you going to do?” “i...have no idea i think i’m gonna start out by punching a tree”

⁃ “tOmmy...did i just hear you say shit ass looking mofo?”

⁃ “i aM gOinG to gEt nAkeD to iNtiMidAtE HiM”

- “...i want freedom !” “you want BALLS.”

⁃ “...down the line. yeah that’s where we discover the art of cannibalism” “oh it’s an art?” “it’s an art”

⁃ “oh there’s some logs here. wonder what they’re saying to me. uh huh. uh huh. oh yeah that’s very racist” “tommy you gotta burn those logs.” “burn ‘em before they spread their racism to other logs”

⁃ “are you pooing?” “*whisper* i’m charging up-““ “he’s ejaculating on the tent.” “he’s WHAT?”

⁃ “he’s sPEEDING. LOOK HOW FAST HES GOING” “i’ve taken so many drugs. someone tell badboyhalo”

⁃ “we should make a pact. and that pact is, uh, we make a book...and in that book...we declare that saying ‘muffin’ is a, is a slur”

⁃ “i was thinking what if one day your bladder just,,,,stopped working.....AGGGFFFFF i was tHINKING ABOUT THAT THE OTHER DAY IVE GOT TO PREPARE IVE GOT YO PREPARE thisiswhydiapersaintthatbad”

⁃ <sapnap> i think i was ordered to um

<tommyinnit> boobed

<sapnap> kill you

<tommyinnit> boobs

<sapnap> if this happens

<tommyinnit> think about boobs man

<sapnap> tsk tsk tommy

<tommyinnit> iM DISGRUNTLED

⁃ “why is this deadman so good at making drugs”

⁃ “i just learnt that a girl hero is called a heroine and it freaked me out”

⁃ “memento memento me-“ “that’s actually the worst word i know so you can’t keep saying that” “oh, really.....? have you ever heard the term ‘racist’?”

⁃ “the person who invented the phrase ‘be yourself’ hadn’t met you!”

⁃ “you seem like the type of guy whose dad would throw him overboard as a joke but he would just drown”

⁃ “shout out to dream for twerking!”

⁃ “let’s talk......let’s talk about sex” “wonderful. what do you think about sex, lazarbeam?” “i ain’t saying SHIT in front of a sixteen year old”

⁃ “what the- i think i’m seeing things” “....tommy i told you not to drink the sea water” “well i DID drink the sea water because it TOLD ME TO”

⁃ “it’s like the movie when that guy gets stranded on an island and has sex with a coconut” “whAT?? dream- dream, you vastly misinterpreted this” “it one hundred percent does”

⁃ “oh mastICATE.....isn’t that when a fish turns inside out?”

⁃ “what are some bad words YOU know, clay?” “i don’t-“ “what about ‘terrorist’?”

⁃ “my mind has to be on the same frequency as jesus when he walked on water”

⁃ “you wanna know why i was late?” “no i really do-“ “i was having a MASSIVE poo. really just a HUGE poo”

⁃ “jUST CUZ YOU TALK ABOUT POO ONCE AND THEN YOU SEE A BIG GREEN BASTARD AMD YOUR LIFE IS FLASHING BEFORE YOUR EYES AND THEN YOU CANT REMEMBER- YOU CANT REMEMBER IF IT WAS YESTERDAY OR TOMORROW YOU HURT THAT WOMAN”

⁃ “i love america. mmmmm patriotism

⁃ “LIFE IS NOT A HAPPY SONG KERMIT THE FROG”

⁃ “please stop taking the cock”

⁃ “two four six eight who do we appreciate? not the government let’s gooooooo”

⁃ “oooo look at the dogs😍” “wHAAAAAT. WHAT. THERES ACTUALLY LIKE. A MILLION DOGS HERE. WHAT THE HELL.”

⁃ “yeahhhhh bitch i stab- i don’t stab women-“ “woooooooah tommy you stab women?” “heyyyy sapnap”

⁃ “do you know what happens whne you reach the top of the ladder? there’s only one place to go.” “.....side to side😨” “down.” “...i really thought you were gonna say side to side🥺”

⁃ “one last time.” “just like in hamilton😓”

⁃ “you don’t know how many times i’ve mistaken trees for hot women”

⁃ “ i don’t feel better i just destroyed penis”

⁃ “i’ve never seen a snail with bad morals”

⁃ “awwwwwwww😢 i’m doin’ drugs🤧 just like the good ol’ days😓” “.....define the ‘good old days’” “back when i did drugs”

⁃ “have you ever fought a baby? i have and it was trivially easy to defeat, phil.”

⁃ “the only other i egg i know about was the one i learnt about in school....not allowed to say which one....”

⁃ “did you know one of my new years resolutions is to be more like 2010 justin bieber?”

⁃ “apparently cats don’t lay eggs”

⁃ “thinking about trees- if i saw a tree with a beard mmmmmm...holy shit id hit it”

⁃ “we’re in hell dude. science doesn’t matter here”

⁃ “i cant die i cant die i’m GOD”

⁃ “hey pig your letter is the same as pussy, hmm?”

⁃ “are we cool are we COOL guys? CRYSTAL COOL like CRYSTAL METH”

⁃ “he- he’s crying because - because i killed his mother isn’t that right? mother dearest mother deadest mother gonest”

⁃ “bro ive been drinking since i was six and let me tell you...it’s not good to be drinking that young. led to some poor life decisions when i was 8” “what did you do” “i cant say” “...who did you hurt” “....only myself”

⁃ “je suis” “ay i know what that mean you prick” “what does it mean” “it means you’re racist dickhead”

⁃ “i’d never poo in the presence of a women- which is why i’m scared to get a girlfriend i think i’d just explode”

⁃ “biff tannen is one of my idols”

⁃ “black widow died and i thought ‘wow it should’ve been the man’ because he’s a man”

⁃ “there’s a character called captain america and i think he’s stupid”

⁃ “i’m a GOOD LAD i’ve got GOOD MORALS and if i’ve DONE SOMETHING WRONG it WASNT MY FAULT I JUST GOT A LITTLE EXCITED”

⁃ “sam....what’s the longest you’ve ever wiped your arse? for me it’s 48 minutes”

⁃ “why are you standing in the shitter?” “....that’s a SINK” “uhhh welllll” “hAVE YOU SHAT IN THE SINK?????”

⁃ “you’re like a living ghost” “...i think that’s called a human, tubbo”

⁃ “maybe i accidentally kill ranboo and we just never see him again *laughs* ay? and then i go ‘april foooools!!!’ and then i kill their child. i kill him”

⁃ “you built a penis” “it’s a PENIS OF SAFETY”

⁃ “i saw the penis of safety and i pressed mouse button four my friend”

⁃ “the penis on the other side of the river is larger” “ive heard that before....”

⁃ “you’ve turned the penis into a wall” “a wall of safety is better than a penis of safety” “i think the penis was better”

⁃ “if you wanna make a penis i know where we can make a penis and i know how big we can make it”

⁃ “i don’t conceptualize death but i think i just saw it!”

⁃ “yeah i- yeah i know i’m- my first impression on eret was making him read a shrek fan fiction so- i’m not one for first impressions”

⁃ “i-i’m scared for him- i’m scared OF him. yknow the first thing he did when he saw me was imMEDIATELY strip down then jump off then immediately die?”

⁃ “where are you?” “getting stabbed, one second”

⁃ “you’ve seen the joker?” “yea-“ “i resonate a lot with that man” “...oH. oh. that’s- that’s not-“

⁃ “he bURNT DOWN MY HOUSE” “out of LOVE”

⁃ “ohhhh my god stop making me play with the neighbor kid” “o-okay if you don’t go play with him i’m kicking you out of the house-“ “wHAT THE FUCK???”

⁃ “there’s a STRIP CLUB” “oh yeah for wood!” “are you into strippers?” “i mean all it does is make the wood look different so....yeah it doesn’t really do much”

⁃ “no no we have categories, we have the poo-saster- you might have to take a shower after-“ “no, no i’m gonna stop you right there”

⁃ “as i was saying you can have a 1-to-3 wiper, that’s an A-tier poo, my friend”

⁃ “i want you to eat your sock”

⁃ “you know i’m a child- i’m a minor” “sO AM I DICKHEAD”

⁃ “everyone is calling you dresus” “yeah i am”

⁃ “ayyyy ayyyy los DROGAS LOS DROGAS” “no no big q- she’s thirteen- how does this happen with every 13 year old girl you meet?”

⁃ “my poo has muscles like i do”

⁃ “i cant hear the words among us without crying they’ll say there are aliens among us and in the back youll just hear me *choking noises*”

⁃ “tubbo...tubbo is like...tubbo is like mary” “.....did you just call me the Virgin Mary?”

⁃ “i’m just saying, have you ever seen me and jesus in the same room?”

⁃ “do you smoke sam” “all the time”

⁃ “i thought you were talking about the- the speeeeed drug”

⁃ “have you ever sold drugs to kids sam?” “......no”

⁃ “we can’t let the girlboss rule because she will gatekeepe my feelings” “that would not be good”

⁃ “THEY DIDNT INVITE ME TO KILL ME???? NOW I HAVE FOMO”

⁃ “you have obviously taken part in scientology-“ “i have not-“ “you’ve donated to tom cruises cult shit”

⁃ “....am i worse than david dobrik?” “are- are we worse than david dobrik?” “oh- oh god”

⁃ “he has broke one of the rules of the hit best seller ‘the bible’- this kind of looks like a cock”

⁃ “well i’ve moved now, KING”

⁃ “what is an angsty teen and am i one? because when i USED to hang out with my friends they use the word angst a lot”

⁃ “yeah yeah yeah i bench”

⁃ “sam i think i’m angsty i think i’m an angsty tik tok teen looking for a community to help me out”

⁃ “i don’t think you’ve followed the train of logic all the way-“ “there’s a TRAIN INVOLVED????????”

⁃ “i’m like the orange fucker from that animated rom com”

⁃ “i’m under the influence of big cock”

⁃ “it’s meeee big cock man”

⁃ “i cant look away” “sam please use your twitter alt for this” “he’s horny on maaaainnnnn” “and what’s wrong with that?” “.......”

⁃ “you’re a FUCKING IDIOT” “IM NOT A FUCKING IDIOT, BIG COCK”

⁃ “i’m gonna call you ‘cockity’ big cock” “sHUT THE FUCK UP SHUT THE FUCK UP-“

⁃ “STOP LOOKING AT IT” “ITS SO VIBRANT”

⁃ “at least this guy doesn’t have a cock-“ “itS NOT A COCK” “horny on main jesus-“

⁃ “is that a cock” “SHUT THE FUCK UP”

⁃ “.....i wanna see the inside of it again do a split”

⁃ “okay sam-“ “tommy that guy wants your cock-“ “no- no he doesn’t sam”

⁃ “sam, sam and i need you to hear this....dont. act. up.” “i don’t act up-“ “you were acting up-“ “i-“ “you were caught in 8k.” “but- but we both agree it’s not a tie-“

⁃ “please don’t tell me to kill cockity i am overwhelmed”

⁃ “why is there an anus in my tie?”

⁃ “what are the legal implications of this?” “...i mean besides hell you’re good”

⁃ “whatre the legal implications?” “i mean usually that’s a no-no but today, today it’s fine” “yeahhh lets go murder his family”

⁃ “i’d be an antivax landlord”

⁃ “jesus never does drugs” “well- well you turned water into wine king and wine is alcohol”

⁃ “can you put on pants i can’t- i cant stop looking at it- sorry tommy i know you said-“ “yeah sam i know you tried-“

⁃ “you know i fuck with satan”

⁃ “i’m sorry jesus lucifer is just such a good man-“ “oh you- hold me BACK FROM THIS FUCKER HOLD ME BACK ILL SEND HIM TO HELL YOU LIKE HELL-“

⁃ “are you jesus or just a man who grew a beard and put on a suit?”

⁃ “even the guy with his cock out is telling you to stop-“ “oh jesus, and i mean jesus-“ “shUT THE FUCK UP MAN”

⁃ “the best best way to slander him is to stop his offspring; we need to kick him the balls.....no? not a good....? alright us four each take a ball-“

⁃ “......why did jesus give him four scrotums man🙁🙁”

[erismerald]

𝓜𝓸𝓸𝓷𝓵𝓲𝓰𝓱𝓽 𝓴𝓲𝓼𝓼𝓮𝓼 (Norman x Fem!reader)

Go read the all book on my wattpad!!! And btw im requests were gonna be always one from now, so if u are a weebe send me ur request please!!

𝔀𝓪𝓻𝓷𝓲𝓷𝓰𝓼:  Fluff and a bit hot oop/ manga spoilers/          

                      ━━━━━━ ━━━━━━◇◆◇━━━━━━ ━━━━━━

A year and 11 months ago you and the rest of the children of Grace field had run away in search of a way to escape to the human world, during this time you were hiding in a hiding place where you had the opportunity to meet a lot of other children with the same interest as you, and your family only grew and you could see the happiness on their faces.

Emma was your best friend since you were kids, you, she, Ray and Norman, were about two years and a few months younger than them and they were like older brothers to you, besides taking care of you were your best friends but... Unfortunately the affection and love you felt for Norman was different, a few years ago you had feelings for him but you preferred to hide it because you knew it wasn't right and that he liked Emma so you preferred to retract your feelings for him and you preferred to see his happiness next to Emma which was a better choice.

In the last months you lived on a farm, you felt you could lose them at any moment and the moment you knew Norman had been "ordered" you felt your heart break, the tears in your eyes didn't stop, you didn't want him to leave, you didn't want to lose him, you preferred to be taken away than him.

The night they parted was hard, it was the night you finally revealed your feelings for him.

*flash back*

You walked down the hallway slowly, your legs were shaking a lot, your breathing was accelerated and your chest hurt. You stopped in front of the door of the room where Norman was, took your hand and went lightly to the door, waiting for an answer from the other side.

"You can come in!" he said on the other side of the door, you took another deep breath and thought about what you would say to him... I had to admit that you loved him before you lost him forever.

"Excuse me! Norman... can we talk?" you said facing the ground, you could already feel the tears running down your face, Norman realized and tried to get closer to comfort you but you stopped him "No! I can't face you... it may sound stupid but not even at the last moment that I'll be with you I can't face you" you said laughing nervously

"Y/N... I will miss you, I.... only want you to run away and that my death is not in vain, neither can I face you... Nor Emma-" you interrupted him, embracing his body with strength

"I CAN'T FACE YOU BECAUSE I'M ABOUT TO LOSE THE PERSON I LOVE MOST IN MY LIFE.... I LOVE YOU NORMAN ... I wanted you to know this before you leave... I know you love Emma but this is my last chance to talk to you and tell you things with sincerity!" you said letting the tears fall.

"Y-Y/n... I'm sorry I can't be with you... I'm sorry you had to hide your feelings for so long... I really am sorry, I really love Emma, and I love you and Ray and everyone here, but I have to use my life to get you the chance to run away from here"

Silence was installed... you only felt his body embracing yours, caressing your back, until the moment you saw the person you most loved leaving in the midst of darkness.

Your body moved on its own, you ran to the forest not to run but to be alone, my body was freezing, your voice was so deep from screaming, among hiccups you shouted his name for him to hear you, until your body finally fell from exhaustion.

*end of flashback*

Emma walked ahead, together with Ray trying to find a new way and a safe place after the destruction of the shelter, you were worried about christ who hadn't woken up yet, and his health seemed weak and fragile, you feared the worst, but you had to be positive, you walked a little faster to reach your two best friends.

"So we know where we are going?" you asked Ray 

"We're not just going to follow the tracks again.... maybe we'll go towards one of the 7 walls, we have to try our luck" Emma responded positively until she stopped abruptly, heard if screams someone was being attacked, without delay you three ran towards the voices in aid.

When we ran into the scene of two teenagers surrounded by wild demons, we had to help them, so we prayed in arms and without delay, we killed those horrible monsters.

The children looked terrified but... what would two children be in the middle of the forest? where would they have come from?

"THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU FOR Saving Us, WE THINKED WE WILL DIE" one of them shouted, causing Ray a little discomfort because he didn't want to call attention to more enemies.

"Yes, yes, but please keep your voices down, we don't want to bring attention to ourselves!" Ray said

The light-haired boy examined us and in a flash his eyes looked like they were shining:

" IT'S YOU!YOU ARE THE CATTLE KIDS WHO ESCAPE FROM GRACE FILED, WE COME TO FIND YOU, BY COMMAND OF OUR BOSS" he said smiling, Emma and you exchanged glances, 'looking for us?' you thought while you waited for Emma to answer if

"Ahm who is your boss?" Emma asked with fear? could they really trust them?

"WILLIAM MINERVA" your world stopped a smile brutalized in your lips we had finally found it! You had finally found the person who would help you return to the human world.

A few hours passed and those two took you to a hiding place inside a tree, it was an incredible place, there were lots of children there. 'so William minerva always exists' you thought while you were enjoying the environment it was really wonderful, you could feel the joy of the children being there, your family would finally have a place to live in peace.

"The boss wants to see you then come this way," one of the boys said, showing us the way.

We got to a door that would probably lead to an office, you were nervous, you felt your tummy turning, as if you were about to vomit from excitement, the door was knocked and inside there was a male voice "Come in".

The door opened revealing a white-haired figure, his crystalline blue eyes, and his sweet smile... you felt the tears flowing down your face, you couldn't believe you were standing in front of him, how? why? how did he get here? so many questions invaded your head leaving you paralyzed in front of that door.

Emma ran towards the figure in front of us "NORMAN!!" his voice showed relief and nostalgia, they both embraced "Hi Emma" Norman said in a sweet voice, it was like living a dream, Ray approached Norman, but his reaction was not the same as Emma's, Ray raised his hand and the slap Norman's face, and then hugged him. ... you admit that you got a little jealous and put yourself behind the children so that no one could see you and you left without anyone knowing... The memory that you expressed your feelings to Norman at his last moment in Grace Field, the relief you were feeling for him being alive and the anger that you couldn't face him and embrace him filled your thoughts and so did you as you walked through the streets until you reached the exit door of the hiding place. You wanted to be a little alone, that was a lot of information to assimilate, so you went out into the forest.

*Norman P.O.V.*

It was wonderful to be with them all again, still in Ray and Emma's embrace I looked at the people around us... my beloved family, I detached myself from the embrace and felt the children all running towards me, screaming my name.

"It's so good to see you again, and good to see the new members of our family, welcome to you all." I examined the faces of each of them, but someone was missing. Y/n, the panic took over and me, I looked around quickly but I didn't see her, what happened to her?

"Emma, Ray?" They both turned their attention to me and their expressions changed when they saw the panic on my face "Where is Y/n?" I asked and Emma smiled~ "It's right here" she looked around but realized she wasn't there "Where is she? she was right behind me!" she said but a white-haired boy interrupted her~

"She went out, while you were hugging, she ran away and ran out" He said, what happened? Wasn't she happy to see me? The memory of her confession came back to my mind like a flash, I felt my face heat up a little, she still couldn't face me, I have to go find her.

"I'll go look for her, stay here I won't be long, so please go explore the surroundings, and eat something, I bet you're hungry," I said with a gentle smile as I hugged her again and left the room toward the exit to look for her.

*Y/n POV*

You didn't know how long you had been sitting there on that rock, looking at nothing, you felt the cold of the night passing through your back making your whole body shiver, until you sneezed.

You heard a noise of branches breaking, and immediately you looked up and turned your body back, a cloak figure was standing behind you, you got scared and fell off the rock banging your ass on the ground.

"Auch" you said caressing your sore ass with the fall~

"Sorry! Are you ok?" this voice... what would he do here? you look ahead and you saw him kneeling in front of you with his hand on top of yours, he had grown so much... he was really more attractive than he was, his more evolved body, his voice, his height, but those eyes never changed, you stared at his eyes for a while until you saw his face being painted pink and turning his gaze away from yours, immediately after that reaction you turned your face to the side.

"Y-yes i am, I'm sorry I just got scared because I didn't know you were there" you said in a calm and nervous voice

"I came looking for you... you disappeared when you saw me... I thought you missed me..." he said with a sad expression making your heart race... 'he came after me?' you thought by taking a deep breath

"Of course I was... I just didn't know how to react, just like all the others I thought you'd died that night." You took a short pause "Look, I'm sorry I ran away..." He looked directly at you, you were paralyzed, you felt your face warm, his gaze hypnotized you.

"I missed you... that night I... I wanted to hold you and not let go anymore... I didn't want to leave, I wanted to feel you against me, I wanted you to fall asleep in my lap, I wanted you never to cry again" you felt the tears fall on your face, his hand went up to your face, and wiped the tears that were trying to come out.

His touch was different, he was more adult, he wasn't the same innocent child two years ago, he was more mature, his thumb stroked your cheek and his hand put the strands of hair (H/c) behind your ear.

"I missed your look, your company, and I'm sorry I only realized my feelings for you after I left... I waited every day for you, for the day when I would be able to see your gaze again" he paused taking himself and pulling you with him, you were hypnotized by him, you couldn't, nor wanted, to move "Let me touch you, let me hug you. ... let me kiss you, I want to feel you, my love, I want to feel you close to me and this time I will not let go of you, my love I want to take care of you, be mine" his words were like whispers, his gaze penetrated yours, his thumb ran across your face until it reached your lips, caressing them down to your jawline lifting it.

Lightly his lips touched your neck, letting you still, you felt his breath making you tremble under his touch, he laughed softly, without realizing it he pushed your body back, leaning against a tree, his hand went down to your waist and another wandered between your neck and your face, his gaze screamed for your attention, he missed you too much and did not want to let you go without being able to touch you again. Your hands moved to his neck and to his chest, pulling him towards you, slowly you put yourself on tiptoes and kissed him lightly, the kiss began calmly but gradually became more fierce.

His hand that was on your waist went up to your neck, keeping you still under his control, it seemed like a dream, you felt your breaths accelerated and you couldn't calm down.

The two panting separated, he looked at you with a gentle smile and pulled you to his horse, stopping in front of you forcing you to look at him, his eyes were dangerous.

No word was said on the way to the hiding place, when we got there he helped you out of the horse and gave it to a boy, both walked side by side until they reached the cafeteria, where he before opening the door stood behind you with his hands on your shoulders and came close to your ear making you shiver. "I'm glad I learned to control myself, otherwise I don't know what I would have done with you behind, maybe you can find out later Love" his voice makes you blush violently, he opens the door and smiles like nothing, but his gaze changed when he saw you again, he was eager to have you in his arms again.

[reineyday]

some feelings abt touya and bnha 302 in general! (long post)

jesus this whooooole chapter makes me so so so sad for touya, like he's canonically a crier and i just have all these images now of him crying off to the side while enji looks at his other kids and gives them the time of day. knowing that he was/is a frustrated crier makes the fact that dabi cant cry cuz of his burned tear ducts that much sadder ohhman

one of the things i cant get over is how touya was SO shunned by his dad that when he went to go tell enji about his fire turning from red to blue, he says "i might be as awesome as shouto sooner or later!" like?? this boy is 13 and shouto is 5 yet he's talking like the brother that's eight years younger than him is better than him and thar it's just a fact. the sky is blue, enji wants to beat all might one day, and shouto is better than the rest of his siblings. nevermind that he's only five and just wants to play with his siblings (and dont even mention to me how shouto says he wants to play with "touya and them" cuz im gonna fucking cry abt it. like even though touya's accepted he's bottom of the ladder in this family, shouto clearly wants some sort of acknowledgement from his older siblings and especially his older brother. IM FVCKN SOBBN). enji has made it clear in this family that shouto was what he was looking for and everyone else is not as important, and i knew this from shouto's pov but it's kinda wild to see it implied so casually in touya's words.

"you'll be glad you created me! i just know it!" HOLY SHIT. god my heart. oh my fuck. literally all enji had to do was show up to the fucking mountain, and he couldnt even do that? what the hell?? your son asks you to go to the mountain, you tell your wife not to let him go traim but she said she couldnt stop him, and instead of going yourself to make sure he's okay and BECAUSE HE ASKED YOU TO COME (and with an actually valid reason, no less! fire changing colour is kind of a big fucking deal!!!) you just?? let him go and let him stay there??? my god the amount of times touya must have burned himself and the trees with tears in his eyes. ahhhHHH!!!

what kills me (and touya too soon?) was that we thought before the back story started that enji forced touya to train till he burned up. then when 290 came out--and definitely after 301--we thought maybe touya overtrained himself and burned up. and sure, he was definitely overtraining, but to find out that the burns that "killed" him started just bc he was crying so much he lost control and didnt know how to ease up on his flames? he was upset and literally trying to get himself to stop crying, and then he just set himself aflame and burned up cuz of all his emotions??? that HURTS. holy fuck.

i cant believe natsuo's feeling lowkey guilty for not socking enji in the face like he wasnt EIGHT???? and let's be real, enji woukdnt have fucking listened to natsuo telling him to talk to touya--he already wasnt listening when touya would straight up say "look at me" and when even rei said touya just wanted enji to look at him and notice him. listen, i know sometimes miscommunications happen in families and children are embarrassed to admit they want attention and so their parents remain unaware that theyre not giving their kid something they want, but touya was as clear as can be on MANY occasions, and even rei agreed touya needed the attention and enji just wasnt listening.

also i know there was discourse abt touya being sexist by telling natsu that "the women in this house are good for nothing" and mb it was partly diff translations cuz i feel like saying "this house" makes it specific to rei and yumi instead of all women everywhere, but even disregarding that--i think it's a valid thought for him to have when rei wasnt standing up for him (where he could see, at least) and yumi admitted herself that she was too scared to interfere and so just tried to fix things and keep appearances. i feel like based on what touya's seen from them, it makes sense that he has that opinion. (also gonna mention that i think rei's and yumi's choices also make sense and i think they were valid, seeing as how they were afraid as well.)

and poor natsu being woken up in the middle of the night (what was implied to be often enough, esp cuz it seemed they share a room and their futons are close) bc of touya's pain. that's a lot of emotional responsibility for an eight year old, and it is also so sad that at 13, touya didnt have anyone else to turn to but his kid brother. at 13, i remember being fully aware of the distinction in maturity between an 8 year old and myself, and it sucks that touya couldnt go to anyone but a younger child with all his pain. i bet yumi being too scared to interfere translated to touya as "she wouldnt help me" and thats another reason he didnt go to the 2nd oldest when he needed to vent. (also not related to this but how the FUCK was natsuo so tall at 8 years old? wh a t)

this chapter. this fucking chapter. my heart aches for touya, and it's just such a huge fucking shame he didnt get the attention and validation and support he needed. there must have been workarounds so that touya could safely use his quirk. there weere DEFINITELY better ways to support your son through a self-destructive quirk, ways that involved actually being there and seeing him. i feel like if someone showed him the attention he needed and talked him through how to better control his emotions (and by extension, his flames) and a positive and healthy way, he could have been someone so great. and if he ever learned how to set aside the way he felt infefior to shouto and saw that shouto just wanted to play with his cool older siblings, it might have been really beneficial to see that there was someone there who thinks he's cool and gave him attention just bc he was an older brother, who needed him when everyone else in the househild didnt seem to need him.

and lastly, the fact that the chapter ends with rei saying that shouto is the family hero and that shouto will have to face dabi?? and it makes me angry that shouto has to take on that responsibility. that he was five and suffering for things he wasnt even a part of, couldnt be properly aware of, bc he was so young. he just saw that he was separated from his siblings and that his dad bullied his mom, then grew up shouldering enji's heavy goals and high expectations and abusive training alongside the barely-there memories of his older brother who died (i say barely there bc if natsu didnt even know shouto liked cold soba, shouto was definitely not around enough to have solid memories of touya before he "died"), and now he has to do the emotional labour of fighting his villain brother (who i bet shouto lowkey empathizes with when he thinks abt it late at night) as well as suffer the physical consequences of that agni kai. and it makes me angry that he has to do that, bc he's a Good Guy and he probably feels he has some sort of filial and familial responsibility. he's only 16. he just wanted to play with touya and them, and now he has to deal with this horse shit dabi's causing cuz his dad's an emotionally neglecting asshat who couldnt see past his dumb fucking ego until he saw shouto play with a bunch of kids during shou's remedial exam a decade after his eldest son burned himself to death. what the fuckety fuck.

lastly, since we saw touya burn uo the way he did... did he really just like... burn so much his jaw fell off, and that's how they found the jawbone? cuz holy hot (BURNING too soon???) damn that must have been painful as all hell. i wonder if next chapter we get to see if someone found touya at the park and helped him out and sorted out the jaw bone thing, or if we finally get to see if deku wakes up lol.

anyways this chapter hurt my heart big time, and i kinda wanna draw kid touya crying while being overlooked by his family to let out some of those feelings but we'll see.

and i still stand by my idealistic and naively optimistic hope that dabi gets redeemed and they soend some actually time together as a family (without enji. or at least, with an enji that has apologized to touya in seiza. like, forehead-to-floor apologize.)

does this hope sort out how dabi redeems himself, seeing as how he's murdered people in cold blood and shouldnt be excused for that bc those actions are also inarguably terrible? no. not sure how he could redeem himself for that kinda stuff honestly, but it doesnt mean i dont still somehow want the todoroki sibs to get along, cuz im weak for mending families.

also id like to send a huge kudos out into the world to rei todoroki for being firm for once and for also not running away from her mistakes like her asshole husband has been. i really admire and respect that. she was afraid and being abused, but now that she's been away from enji and has had time to heal, now that her and shouto are in the mend and she's seen that her eldest son is alive and a villain, she's a place where she can acknowledge that even though she was a victim too, she played a part in touya's emotional neglect and she's taking responsibility and that speaks to some incredible fucking strength. damn.

i hope one day that dabi realizes the same in regards to his mother and natsuo, who shouldered a lot of his emotional pain and suffered the consequences of his outbursts (even though his emotions are valid and his outbursts understandable, he still hurt rei and put a lot of pressure on natsu), and i also hope he sees that for all that he hates his father, his whole existence revolves around enji and it's a shitty place to be (and then he'll have ANGST abt it and that shit will be!! so good!!!)

yeah i think those were all my feelings. i had so many lol. their family situation is so difficult, i hope they all turn out okay and alive and healing.

oh i guess i also wanted to say that i kept calling enji an asshat and asshole cuz he was for sure, but i still think his redemption is valid and im glad he's taking those steps to be a better person by being a better father. i dont know if id want his family to forgive him for all that horrible shit he put them through (im personally hoping that no matter what anyone else does, natsuo will choose to to cooperate in the healing of his family as a unit but will never forgive enji) but i think it's good of people to try to be better than they were yesterday regardless of whether or not they get forgiveness. i dont personally like enji, but i dont hate that he's getting a redemption. i just hope it's a redemption that makes sense and forces him to put in the work, and isnt something like a death sacrifice for shouto or dabi. i want him to be alive and i want his redemption process to hurt like a fucking bitch while he forces himself to make better choices and be a better person, cuz redemption isnt supposed to be easy in the slightest. i GUESS all the crying he did in 302 was a good start.

anyways, if for some reason you read all the way down to the bottom--hello! and thanks for reading haha. cheers! :)))

[to-be-frank-i-dont-care]

the character ask game: sam from lotr, and kili from the hobbit (yes i have a crush on the latter do not mock my suffering)

~~Sam~~

First impression: I don’t honestly remember my first opinion of him when I first read the book, or when I first saw the movie. I think I was pretty excited about him though because he was one of my mom’s favorite characters, and I thought he was cool :) (I first read/watched lotr back in 7th grade, so…kinda dim memories lol)

Impression now: I love Sam; he’s such a great character and is so loyal and amazing. I will confess, he does annoy me a bit at times BUT ONLY BECAUSE I HAVE A FRIEND (the same friend who recently joined tumblr, actually) who would always claim that Sam was the best character and that he was way higher than anyone else, and that irked me because not everyone’s favorite character has to be the character you’re supposed to like the most. So sometimes I’m reminded of that…(but this was years ago, again, and she’s much different now)

Favorite moment: THE SAMWISE THE BRAVE MOMENT, because the musiiiiicccccc. Also the part where he remembers Rosie dancing—“she had ribbons in her hair” 😭😭😭

Idea for a story: hmmmdehmmm…well I’ve always wanted to know just exactly what Sam said to Rosie in that scene when they get back to the Shire; so that would be a good idea for a fic :)

Unpopular opinion: He should have been just a wee bit nicer to Gollum; yes, Gollum was despicable and awful, but in the books he was actually fairly decent for a few chapters, and Sam flat out refused to even give him a chance. :/ I always feel really bad for Gollum, especially after listening to Gollum’s Song a number of times (I’ve seen that it’s a conversation between Gollum and the ring, but I think it could also be between Gollum and Sméagol) and it always makes me a little sad to see Sam just not even give him a chance

Favorite relationship: ROSIEEEEE

JUST LOOK AT THEMMMMMM (they had thirteen children, by the way!!)

Favorite headcanon: uhhhh….ok I actually really liked that one post I reblogged recently about Sam thinking Elves would die if anyone was mean to them, and trying to protect Legolas.“Mr. Sir Blond Elf Prince” 😂😂😂

~~Kili~~

*I would never mock you, I totally had a crush on him too*

First impression:

twelve year old me: *jaw drops*

twelve year old me: w-who is that

twelve year old me: can I marry him

twelve year old me: HE DIED???? OH CRAP NO *proceeds to write a super long fic where Tauriel’s necklace magically brings him back to life (?????) and a bunch of dramatic crap happens such as when Elrond chases them up a tree FOR NO APPARENT REASON…*

Impression now:

Eh he’s cool lol, don’t have a crush on him anymore

Favorite moment: well…I really like the part where he goes absolutely insane after Fili dies. It’s so sad, but at the same time he just snaps and it shows how deep his devotion for his brother is :(

Idea for a story: definitely NOT the cheesy one that I myself wrote, but definitely an au where he and Fili meet Merry and Pippin…and maybe some more people *coughs and looks at the thing I’ve been working on for several months*

Unpopular opinion: I liked the Tauriel relationship thing. (The love triangle was a little much, but Kili and Tauriel were pretty cute).

Favorite relationship: his crazy I-could-kill-you-but-we’re-bros-so-I-won’t relationship with Fili XD

Favorite headcanon: well hhhHHHHMMmmm…I think he would really like Cosmic Brownies (stupid, but I couldn’t think of anything lol)

Thanks for the ask lovely! Also, I’m working on that other one you sent ehehehe *I don’t really know why it’s taking me so long to get around to it*

*im really tempted to find the Kili/Tauriel fic and make a post about all the cringe that happened in it….* 🧐🤔

Send me a character for me to analyze!

[cassyapper]

OKAY IVE ACTUALLY PLAYED TWO SESSIONS SINCE MY LAST POST SO IM GONNA COMBINE THEM HERE SORRY FOR THE LENGTH BUT,,IVE COME SO FAR I DONT WANNA STOP NOW

this is gonna be very messy cause i WILL be jumping back and forth as things come back to mind so uhh pls enjoy this absolute ramble <3

anyway. i continued playing omori and boy do i have some Thoughts

so first session; i went through the pyre(something i forgot the full name sob) forest/sprout mole village/sweetheart’s castle in one go and let me TELL YOU. DOING THAT WAS FUCKING INSANE I WENT NUTS holy shit.

so anyway.

pyre forest!!!! the lil race against the big spider coming after u for disturbing the smaller spiders mechanic was very fun i had a lot of fun figuring out the best routes to take. i know normally mechanics like that lead to ppl getting frustrated cause u have to keep retrying but i had a lot of fun!!!! sum annoyance but good natured type, th kind that just makes u try harder u know? i just enjoyed it JKFN;FN; candles in the foggy forest....now That is an aesthetic

the rare bear scared the fuckin shit out of me i remember it didn’t attack me straight away so i was like “aw (:” but then when i press x on him it takes me to a BATTLE SCREEN AND SUDDEN THAT MF IS TERRIFYING I WAS LIKE WHWHWHWHWKJDNJ. very funny i honestly wished i recorded my reaction

also omori is afraid of drowning...................................i am breathing heavily. i think whatever happened to mari is related to at least one of the things omori is scared of. so either heights, spiders, or drowning it seems. spiders doesnt seem super likely as a contributor to her death, and while falling from a height is more realistic, such a senseless way of dying doesnt seem to rlly fit ? with the vibe i get from the kiddos in the real world. which makes me think maybe drowning/otherwise suffocating is how she died...but we’ll see. also due to the forgotten library part, we know omori explicitly feared spiders/drowning before mari died so it’s also probable im jus talking out my ass here but still,,,,thoughts

also this motherfucker?

literally fucking terrifying. IT’S BODY IS MADE OF SUCC’D SPROUT MOLES...i still have no idea what exactly it was doing to them but jesus h christ!!!! evil and fucked up. do not feel bad for curbstomping it

sprout mole village!!!! very cute, im v excited to send that one dude his brother’s care package. i like how, when theyre not lost, sprout moles can be real endearing lil guys,,,theyre not my fav lil enemies but (:

also for some reason omori is the first game ive played where i really care about getting achievements ? so i literally did the back and forth on my save file just to get all the season sprout mole achievements JKDJFJ;. i ended up sticking w spring tho before moving on for real cause spring is my fav season irl (:

also i felt SO BAD for cutting down that one sprout mole’s chistmas tree he was just trying to celebrate but i wanted to see that present and coincidentally becoming a christmas ruiner was an achievement so all’s fair in love and war i suppose

ALSO. th fuckin plant monster thing under the scientist sprout mole’s room. major little shop of horror vibes from the design, absolutely adored it!!!!! originally i did  just cut the wire holding the piano over it, ending it in one go, but i was very curious abt it so i reloaded a save file to actually fight it and

i know it only spread that gas to make the kiddos happy cause being happy reduces attack i think ? it decreases attack/defense but seeing the kiddos smile so much was nice (:

however

omori...sunny....son boy.........u good ?

and now. sweetheart

the way the sprout moles completely adore and depend on sweetheart gives me such awful evil vibes and combined with such a luxurious background was fucking incredible

sweetheart herself, speaking of. bitch (sorta affectionately, certainly not derogatory)

i talked to every sprout mole in the audience before taking my seat and i literally dont know why. even when i picked up the pattern of where the unique dialogue could be found (usually the sprout moles farthest right) i still talked to all of them......just in case ? i have no idea. i dont know why i did that. i feel it’s important that i note it tho

LMAO SO WHEN SPROUT MOLE MIKE DID THE MINUTE OF SILENCE FOR YE OLD SPROUT MOLE

I LITERALLY FELT SO FUCKING BAD LMAO I WAS LIKE OH MY GOD NO!!!!!! I DID THAT!!! I KILLED HIM!!! OH MY GOD!!! I WONDER HOW AWKWARD OMORI KEL HERO AND AUBREY FELT IN THE AUDIENCE HOLY SHIT THEY HAD FRONT ROW SEATS TO SPROUT MOLE MIKE’S MOURNING!!! MY GOD FJKFN;;

also sprout mole mike describing 3′7″ inches as ”towering” was the FUNNIEST shit i have ever seen. also i have to wonder, since sweetheart made up the whole show of sweetheart’s quest for hearts in the first place, if she was seriously down to marry a sprout mole if one suited her fancy. jus v funny to me honestly. SPEAKING of sweetheart’s dating patterns I NOTICED THOSE FEM SKELETONS IN THE DUNGEON!!!!! BI SWEETHEART!!!! SHE’S JUST AS DOWN FOR GIRLS AS SHE IS BOYS

i know TECHNICALLY not everyone is in the dungeon for failing to be a good enough suitor but STILL...COME ON. THIS WAS BEFORE WE KNEW THAT. SWEETHEART BI I WILL DIE ON THIS HILL

anyway

when the lights when out and lightning struck the third contestant, i knew Immediately something was gonna go down. and when the mustache sprout mole was like “oh yes!! u!! in the striped pjs!! u absolute beast ur perfect!!!” i KNEW hero had just been selected as the replacement i was goign completely fucking nuts i was like OH MY GODNFNG; HIS HEART IS ALREADY TAKEN BY MARI!!!!!!! STOP

i ended up taking so many screenshots during this part cause i was going feral so here take a glance just cause i love, uh, hero

OUR HERO IN SHINING ARMOR DJLBH;KFJB

also GOD FUCKING DAMMIT IM SHORTER THAN HERO

hero shaking on the stage when he was introduced...oh my HEART....IM SO FOND FOR THIS BOY WTF!!!!! DKJDN;N

this is not really NEWS to me since it’s implied hero is tall but like come ON..... sorry just every time i find out a character is explicitly taller than me i need to huff about it, moving on,

HERO FUCKS

sorry i just have so many screenshorts during this aprt cause i was going fucking crazy but

literally terrifying! sweetheart bathes in that shit!! christ!

is blood good for ur skin? i imagine, so long as like...gore isnt in it and it’s solely blood it cant be BAD necessarily......but good ? regardless very fucked up. besides the fact that well, uh, BLOOD, blood is also sticky as hell. ur telling me sweetheart willinglhy bathed in that shit? disgusting. at least thin it out

anyway I HAD SO MUCH FUN DOING THE PUZZLES AT SWEETHEART’S CASTLE....FROM THE DUNGEONS TO THE KITCHENS TO THE BALLROOM TO THE LIBRARY TO THE GARDENS JUST EVERYTHING!!!! IT WAS SO FUN I ENJOYED FIGURING IT OUT SO MUCH IT WAS LITERALLY DELIGHTFUL...I LOVE THIS GAME SO MUCH THE GAMEPLAY IS SO FUCKING EPIC I LITERALLY HAVE SO MUJCH FUN.......OH MY GOD I JUST. INCREIDBLE!!!! FUCK

also the lil sir maximus bit.........i honestly felt really awful over having to kill them ): i think i even tried running once but it wouldnt let me...it hurt man ): they were just a family....

um but anyway,

i think it was rlly sweet how aubrey protested to the wedding cause she was worried abt sweetheart,,,like i cant rlly explain it idk how to put it into words,,like sweetheart is clearly not mentally well and having an episode, and aubrey being the only one to say “hey what ur doing is self-destructive and isolating” just mmmh. she cares a lot,,,and *i* care aubrey

also sweetheart’s battle theme fucking SLAPPED...SO GODDAMN HARD IM STILL QUAKING OVER IT....FUCKING BANGER YO!!!!!! INCREDIBLE

ah but alas

BASIL........I NOTICED THAT IT WAS HIS GHOST/SHADOW DURING THE EXIT FROM OTHERWORLD AS WELL BUT JUST FUCK

im so worried about basil ):

and it being so obvious that none of the others can see...........them asking omori if he’s okay.....oh my god. i go nuts

and then...the forgotten library part

i literally cried, again, oh my fucking god

these kids loved each other so much they ADORED the time they spent with each other and im QUAKING to know WHAT HAPPENED TO MARI......HOW DID THE FALLOUT GO. I NEED TO KNOW I NEED TO KNOW I NEED TO KNOW

i know there are multiple endings to this game and on god i am not QUITTING until i get the happiest ending there is for these kids im literally a goddamn fuckign mess oh my god

MARI SHWOING UP IN THE LIBRARY AT ONE POINT AND LEADING OMORI...........IM LTIERALLY GOIGN INSANE OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD HE LOVED HIS SISTER SO MUCH HE’S SO CLEARLY LOST WITHOUT HER I CANT FUCKING DO IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I NEED TO KNOW WHAT HAPPENED. I NEED TO KNOW I NEED TO KNOW I NEED TO KNOW

GOD

okay sorry i just. ive said ti before but the grief in this game is so real and palpable and it aches, it aches so bad. also the white egret orchids in the library...i see u

but regardless.... session two real world electric boogaloo

LOVE that kel is like “so i need to run errands but u wanna come with me right? of course u do!” like fuck i rlly do. kel is just so delightful i would literally do anything to spend time with him

ALSO i noticed u can just refuse to open the door both times kel’s knocked now and it makes me wonder....if u could choose to ignore kel ? and then venture out urself or just ? i wonder what would even happen if u chose to not open the door. im CERTAINLY not doing it myself at the very least not this playthrough but i am curious...i bet that’s how u get a bad ending, by not talking w kel

but anyway....

aubrey and her gang not saying anything in the pizza parlor........i jus think abt that is all

ALSO!! pet rocks!!!!!!!!! LOVE this lil thing it’s so cute. jus rock paper scissors it babey

speaking of lil bits, love all the mini quests in the real world...it’s just rlly fun and builds up this cute lil town........it also makes me think that whatever happened to mari cant have been anything except an accident, bc no one comments on what a tragedy it was to omori. like if it was murder, there’s no way such a horrific situation wouldnt engulf the town for a bit and sweep over it for weeks at least, but that just doesnt seem to have happened. this is def me reading too into it tho;; point is neighbors nice (: also i got the seashell necklace and i go apeshit

ALSO......THE FUCKING...........CHURCH. I VISITED WITH KEL ON A COMPLETE WHIM CAUSE I WAS CURIOUS IF THE PASTOR WOULD TALK MORE ABT AUBREY BUT NO. INSTEAD HE TALKS ABT THE WEIRD VIBE FORM THE GRAVEYARD HE’S GETTING!!! AND THE DUDE WHO CHILLS IN THE GRAVEYARD SAYS SHIT ABT THE SPIRITS GETTING READY FOR SOMEONE TO JOIN THEM!!!! BITCH WAHT THE FUCK

THERE’S NOF UCKING WAY THIS ISNT ABOUT BASIL. THERE IS NO!!! WAY!!!! I SWEAR ON GOD IF BASIL DIES I WILL LOSE IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ESP CAUSE THERE IS LITERALLY NO OTHER WAY HE COULD DIE EXCEPT SUICIDE THAT’S WHAT IT HAS BEEN IMPLYING OVER AND OVER I GO NUTS I GO APESHIT NO NO NO NO!!!!!!!!!!!!

FUCK

OKAY SORRY I JUST. HHHHHHHHHHH

baby has acquired baby

kel’s family is rlly cute,,,,v heartwarming. i trust them

i do worry abt like...the stark difference between recognizing kel’s accomplishments and hero’s...i just idk. i just keep thinking abt that bit in kel’s story abt hero’s depression when his parents focused on hero and ignored him, and i just. kel’s family is good People but i worry if kel has a good support system...i jus........): i am watching

ahh THE BASIL MISSING PART MADE MY HEART LITERALLY FUCKING DROP..I WAS SO FUCKING PANICKED I WAS LIKE OH MY GOD THIS IS IT BASIL IS DEAD

THANKFULLY HE WASNT BUT HOLY GOD HOW THAT WHOLE SITUATION PANNED OUT MADE ME GO NUTS!!!!!!! BASIL...AUBREY...HER GANG.......FUCK OH M YOGD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD

THANK G O D I SNOOPED AROUND KEL’S HOUSE BEFORE LEAVING I WOULD HAVE H A T E D TO FIGHT THEM ALL AT ONCE IM GLAD I WAS ABLE TO JUST PEPPER SPRAY THEM JESUS CHRIST

oh my god kim like asking for aubrey all concerned before deciding to trust her and leaving.....kim i diagnose u with lesbain

the whole fucking. basil almost drowning scene. i seriously feel like ive changed like as a person over it. i am thinking . i am thinking. i am only evee thinking about mari and how omori just loved her so much and how the thought of her gave him strength. th pic of her ghost holding omori’s hand in the water made me cry

MMMM BUT. HERO!!!

I DIE I DIE I DIE HE’S SO PRETTY FUCK ALSO HIM PICKING UP BASIL WOOOOOOOO THIS IS WHAT IVE BEEN WAITING FOR THAT’S WHAT IT’S ALL ABOUT YEAHHHHHHHH

god i feel so bad about leaving aubrey tho. shes so clearly not okay and she so clearly did not mean to push basil in and oh my GOD I JUST...PLEASE....PLEASE CAN WE JUST TLAK TO HER I NEED TO TLAK TO HER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I NEED TO FUCK

the ghosts of omori and aubrey on the swings made me cry out like i had been physically assaulted

AHH BUT THEN TAKING BASIL HOME AND WHILE HE’S IN HIS BED HE JUST SAYS “oh sunny...there’s not way out of this...is there?” I LITERALLY GO BUCKWILD APESHIT INSANE STUPDI!!!!!! BASIL YOURE PUTTING UP A LOT OF ALARMING FLAGS HERE!!! PLEASE DO NOT FUCKING DIE!!!!!!!!!!!!

FUCK. CHRIST. HELL. SHIT. THIS GAME IS DRIVING ME FUCKING CRAZY

GOD

oh my god but the day ending with hero and kel sleeping over at omori’s house...im kdnd im jkdim im not uhm okay THEY BUILT A BLANKET FORT PLEASE..I LOVE THEM

goddd hero going into the piano room....playing sum........and then asking omori abt the song he and mari used to play on violin...and then THE TITLE SCREEN MUSIC STARTS PLAYING....HI. HI HELLO HI YOU CANT FUCKIGN DO THAT HI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! FUCK YOUFBJFGJNGN;EJNE; IM GOIGN NUTS

also the name omori comes from the piano.............interesting...i wonder why sunny likes being called omori in the dreamscape...

god but omori not having a srs hallucination cause he’s w his friends and he feels safe...im gonna sob

However. i did glance into the bathroom mirror. AND INSTEAD OF THE EYE MF IT’S A DISTORTED AS HELL GHOST MARI???IM SO FUCKIGN SCARED. IM SO SCARED. WHAT THE FUCK. WHAT THE FUCK? CREEPY AS HELL!!!

ohh my god this GAME

so finally i ended up in whitespace again. do NOT like that omori is completely alone in the world!!! what the FUCK!!!!!!!! I AM SO SCARED AT ALL TIMES. im literally about to go play sum more tho after dinner so i will see what happens. god i jsut......this game is so fucking good it has me by the balls dude. SO glad i decided to play it bruh

anyway thanks for reading all of this if u did, it’s an absolute monster ik and ur a real one

[anestheticrage]

Be me: Japanese honor student🎓, 15, with half a brain and even less of a plan. Hunting bitches by day and witches by night. Livin that dank only child✌️ life while mom n dad yeet all over the globe, leavin me plenty of time to forget not to make 2 lunches for myself #quirky 😜

no time for socialization or basic electronics skills ???📱??? when your best friends are an alien demon rabbit🐰👽 and the inexplicable Hole ™ in your brain. lmao, btw did i mention im ✨M✨A✨G✨I✨C✨A✨L✨

dreamin bout my 2D waifus again when familiar pink haired cancer patient dances through my brain passin out fliers: Kamihama Meguca Dating Service: Sponsored by Cult of the Magius. 250 stones per session 🤔

seems legit, Mr. Moneybags. wasn't spending my unwieldy sack of gemstones on anything else anyway. lets pull 💎💎💎

first up we have Redhead Radagast and her plethora of plants. 🌿☺️🦎

anndd, nearly dies immediately. 

well not off to a great start but i guess shes pretty cute at lea- oh FUCK its her girlfriend, Tsundere Poseidon😒🔱💦, and their exasperated, straight and single Sword Mom 😔🗡️🔥. fml gonna have to save up for the next pull. might as well play a few rounds with what i got tho. 

get in some good girl talk about things like school, color coded hair styles, body count, permanent soul damage, and our personal demon pacts. ya know, the usual 😚 . realize my dark backstory seems to be missing, so the girls take me to Ketchup Queen Sappho 🍅🥧 (wtf?) to molest my glowy egg stone. whatevs, more action than ive had since Kuroe 🖤 got added to the story anyway

the gang agrees it's time to hunt down the cutest rabbit pimp 🕶️🐇💵 in the city. >> say 🎵mukyuuu🎵 one more time and ill hug you so hard my backstory will pop right out, you adorable fluffy bastard. plz be my new best friend 💕

Form brand new friendship pact with Kyubae, and remember that my lil Sis 🐥 was always the best wingman for pickin up magic chicks, and kept her side of the room so spotless i forgot she existed. whoops 乁༼☯‿☯✿༽ㄏ Maybe if I find her i can stop paying these exorbitant pull fees.📵💎

speaking of which: hot damn this week's featured bachelorette is a 19 year old model and magical detective🔎 with massive levels of PTSD and self loathing 🥵💙💦 more likely to stab you or dramatically jump off a rooftoop than utter a single positive comment. wow, maybe i really COULD find true love…

... if i had MORE THAN A 1% FUCKING DRAW CHANCE. 😡 smh

hard to make much progress finding sis or winning the broken heart of a hard boiled detective amidst the never ending lover's quarrel of the Trident Vine Lesbians. 💔 Sword Mom tells them if they don't behave a monster will take them away. LOL classic mom 🤣

>>>HOLY FUCK IT DID

declare all-out war on urban legends, starting with staircases ⚔️ to reunite the dysfunctional trio, and hope that I net a way better lineup with the next 10x pull. at least sad sleuth lady came to help out. they say combat is the best way to bond wi-   and there she goes off the rooftop again 🙄 fml

alright that got way off track, we need a fresh start, away from all the loli drama. how bout a little B&E🔓🔨🤷🏻‍♀️ at the local house of worship to clear my head. ahh nothing like the unanswered prayers of the masses to get you in the mood for another wasted pull, and the 🔥 MIGHTIEST 🔥 headache you could ask for with a side of Double Cooked Pork 🐖🍜 (meh 5/10🧾)

venture forth into the spiritual unknown with your new human flamethrower🔥🌻🧡 and ask your favorite private eye to please, for the love of Eve, trade Meguca accounts with me~~~ Head through the eastern spirit portal to meet up with hologram propaganda sis and detective crush's evil ex, who joined a dating-app cult (#fuck) and also turned into the moon?🌕?(that's rough buddy)

get ambushed by Acid Horse on Wheels 🌈🐴 and vomit up my soul so hard that its time for a crossover episode. T U R F F F   W A R R R *que operatic harmonies* 💛 Blondie with the hair drills and enough attitude and guns to fill up a noble phantasm tries to ban my account permanently, but PI heartthrob denies her admin privileges. aww babe i didn't know you cared. 😭♥️

get kidnapped by my new true love and go back to her place 😏  defs enough empty rooms to house five emotionally traumatized girls and at least two ghosts hehehe👻 XD 💚🃏💜🎸 decide to form the anti-gossip brigade and recruit my blazing sunflower after getting ambushed by the witch living in my fruit loops🥣

❌outvoted 2:1 that cults are bad. mf. fiinneee one last pull to round out the team and then I'll delete the app. cmonnn Karin 🎃~

OH HELL YEAH TWO FOR ONE.

Always wanted a daughter 💜🔨🐄 with a penchant for pissing off the local Martial Arts & Books Club and drinking suspicious liquids offered by total strangers. Well if it's good enough for her AND the sexy mayadere with enough game to seduce a mermaid, might as well get in on that myself. 

#curseddrank 🤢 0/24 would not recommend to a friend, 'cept maybe Ria

win alot of cash 🤑, blow up a fountain, meet the pied piper²🎶🖕, moon cult, monochrome feathers, something about liberation✊🏻; adopt temper tantrum cow girl. aces 💜🥩

Next up!!! skydiving with DJ Hammer! Jump to apparently-not-certain death after suicidal A.I. 💚💾🗼 tells you to rescue her hostage before they run out of Radiohead albums and have to move on to Thom Yorke's solo discography. save the invisible shield kitten 💚👑😿 from happiness and get chased through the internet by the sexiest homicidal Paint Pallette 💚🎨😈 since Caravaggio. (apparently green is the color of the digital apocalypse. i’m deleting Kako from my friend's list)

that’s it, fuck this app. 250 stones 💎 per-life-threatening-experience is more than i’m willing to deal with 😓 don’t wanna mess with the perfect nuclear family anyway. we've already got: 

✔️the two emotionally traumatized moms with memory and commitment issues

✔️the adhd daughter with anger management problems and a giant hammer

✔️the psychologically abused scizophrenic cat

✔️and the eccentric aunt with crippling anxiety

#squadgoals

now that were done hoarding bitches, its time to hunt the witches. and the bitches makin the witches. btw did i mention the witches ARE the bitches! AND WERE ALL GOING TO DIE!? 📽️⁉️💀 wait fuck lets back up a second

This is Nemo📕 and Token🧪 and they have all the answers but prefer if you only ask vague questions in exchange for vague responses so they can fill in the rest by discussing their superior intellect 🧠 at length. not to mention they built that dating app, so of course everyone in my harem decides to be a FUCKING. TRAITOR.🤬

cept waifu prime ofc 🥰💙. [PTSD > brainwashing] 'yOu CaN bE tHe LeAdEr NoW'. i have been from the very beginning you traumatized Hinedere nightmare. maybe if you weren't so caught up collecting surrogate daughters you would've noticed IM👏THE👏ONLY👏 ONE👏PROGRESSING👏THE FUCKING👏PLOT✨

rescue the rest of dysfunctional found-family™ from selves before my adorable firebender burns down Disnihama🎡🔥�� during her weekly anxiety attack. (love the makeover T B H) 

CHAPTER 8: Magical Girl Massacre🩸🗡️

   - everyone has like, the shittiest day ever

   - the new Pope really needs to be extradited from the church

   - make friends with a really pretty tree 🌺🌲✨

i swear, if i don't finish this god damn story in time to get that free pull im gonna beat the shit out of every mirror i find in that giant mansion that i haven't even had any time to even mention yet. 🖕🏚️ let alone EVERYTHING happening with the prequel [fuck you, I'm the star] girls 💗💜💙💛❤️️ and their multidimensional melodrama. We don't need that many repetitive af episodes to emphasize that Homo-ra is a shitty person. we've all seen Rebellion. 🙄

NO, I DONT CARE IF YOU WANT SAPPHO'S BACKSTORY, I ONLY HAVE 79 STONES LEFT AND IF YACHAN FINDS OUT I HAVEN'T DELETED THE APP YET IM GONNA HAVE TO GO SLEEP IN WITH SANA 😭💎💸😠

uhhhggggg where were we… Topple a cult and burn down Hotel Denoument only to realize that Sis was fused with the dating app servers this entire madokafuckin time (told ya she was the best wingman 😊). 

Dilemma: Sis =🥚, Triumvirate of Trouble want 🐣. What do? vote now:

Help Hatch - IIIIIII

Not Do That - IIIII

What The Actual Fuck Is Going On - IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII

¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Lets just fight everyone until something good happens.

🔥🔫🔥🗡️🔥😱🔥🌆🔥😱🔥🛡️🔥💣🔥

Kill (???) the artist-in-chief of the italian reindeer murder police after teaching her the true meaning of Christmas 🎄 hatch 🐣lil Sis and realize she WAS your wingman all along🐰 MUKYUUUU! we're just gonna ignore how much trouble it would have saved if you'd just mentioned that. "yOu DiDnT aSk..." 

FUCK YOU SPACE BITCH. ONCE AN INCUBATOR ALWAYS AN INCUBATOR 🖕🐇🔪

anywho, somewhere along the lines we of course summoned the Antichrist ⚙️ because why not raise the stakes to max and still not kill off a single character. Madofuckinkami, can we PLEASE wrap this up. 😩💤

feathers (not the culty kind, tfm) rain from the sky, and the power of friendship and not having the Urobutcher 🔪🩸as a lead writer saves our peacefully sectioned off alternate reality 😇

TL:DR fuck cults, real life waifus DO exist, don't sell your soul to space rabbits, or your stones to megacorporations. Enjoy arc 2 on the JP server with your shitty translation patch you filthy fuckin weebs 

Yours Truly, 

- Thirsty Weeb Eroha 💗💎😘 

[disaster-bay-leaf]

Ok so these were the cutest~ (ㆁωㆁ)

4, 6, 7, 9, 12, 19, 22, 23, 28, 33, 34, 46, 47, 52, 59, 60, 63, 66, 83, 87, 88, 93, 99

I kno I listed like....all of them lmao but feel free to answer whichever you want and ofc you can ask me in return Baybe ( ◜‿◝ )♡

uHUHUHUHU much content for me to answer, im happy bebe 💜💜💜✨

4 - how do you take your coffee/tea?

hm coffee either Very Black No Sugar (for the sleep deprived me) or iced latte three sugars and theres no in between

and as for tea its All Black Teas That Exist, cinnamon-flavoured especially (but basically all teas that come to mind when u think “autumn”), and rooibos!!! okay basically the only oke i dont like is any type of green tea (which is sad because they look cool but my tastebuds said ✨no✨)

6 - do you keep plants?

honestly id l o v e too because i love plants but,,, im kinda horrible at taking care of them though still way better than the majority of my family (research helps) so the only plant i own is kinda a small-palm-tree-looking thing in a bigass glass jar that i saved from my mother’s plant-destructing hands and its mostly doing well (the ends of its leaves are starting to be yellow tho and im worried:((( )

7 - do you name your plants?

yes!!! though the current one was named by my sister and its called “pickett” after fantastic beasts shsjjsj

9 - do you like singing/humming to yourself?

oh god oh dude you have n o idea

i have absolutely n o singing voice but its something i do constantly to give my brain the right amount of stimuli so basically i listen to music 24/7 and hum to myself 99% of that time

12 - whats your favourite planet?

oh i actually didnt think about this for so long but either pluto (hes a planet screw nasa) or saturn (RINGS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) or venus (girls,,,and libra,,,)

19 - do you keep a journal? what do you write/draw in it?

okay im gonna be completely honest with yall and say that my every single try at keeping a journal failed spectacularly and i lost motivation after like a few months so my only journals rn are my fancy fake-leather-bound calendar to note tests and assessments into, a kinda roughed up notebook that i uses for noting down poems or scribbling or passing notes in class, and a kinda fancy bullet journal notebook that i used as a book of shadows for a while but since my fountain pen died i didnt touch it

22 - are you a morning person?

n o

i am so not a morning person but i wish i could be because honestly dawns are beautiful

but as it is rn im either sleep deprived all the time and loathe every second of being in an awake state or (if i have a few days of schoolbreak) my biological clock moves forward a few hours and i sleep 2am-10am

23 - whats your favourite thing to do on lazy days with zero obligations?

except for the fact that i dont remember the last time it happened, i would probably spend it drawing outside, watching anime with my sister and riding a bike around the forest

28 - sunrise or sunset?

i love sunrises because its so peaceful and everyone is asleep but also i subconsciously immediately correlate them with waiting for a train to take me to school (because thats basically the only time i see them) so its a bittersweet love especially with my fucked up biological clock

but sunsets are really really pretty too and i see them more often so i cant choose

33 - whats your fave pastry?

and isnt that a millior-dollar question dhsjjsjsj

either cinnamon rolls (i absolutely adore them) or that one specific type of cupcake-shaped-thing made out of shortcrust/bread/whatever its called and filled with vanilla pudding

34 - tell us about a stuffed animal you kept as a kid. what is it called? what does it look like? do you still keep it?

awwww this is cute

okay so basically my two favourite stuffed animals (i still have them, they sit in my wardrobe) were two teddy bears (like maybe 20cm high each of them) and one was pure brown and the other was silver-brown and they had stereotypical polish male names “Waldek” (read. Valdek) and Stefan (i think tho im not sure if i remember correctly, my memory is a feeble thing sometimes

46 - tell us the worst pun you can think of

what dog would never bite you? a hot dog *badumtss*

47 - what food do you think should be banned from the universe?

huh a year ago id say pineapple pizza but i guess i dont hate pineapples that much anymore (tho putting them on pizza is still an abomination) but i think that if id ever want to get rid of anything it would be parsley, i hate that freakin herb (does it count as food tho)

52 - what are your favourite memes of the year so far?

the ever given for sure shsjshjsjsjsjjsj

but bullying tramp stamps is gold and pure tumblr energy too

as for fandom memes: im in love with all keeping-up-with-the-todorokis variations and the fact that the entire bsd fandom looked at fukuchi and said “biTCH” and thats one of the only things we’re unanimous about

59 - whats your favourite myth?

i always liked the kora/persephone myth (though demeter is an overbearing parent to the nth power), loki and thor crossdressing at a party to get mjolnir back, atalanta because shes a queen and id politely ask her to kick my ass, and cassandra because she deserved better, and theres a l o t more because alas i was a mythology nerd but this post is long enough for me not to make this section 20 times longer sjjsjsjsjsjks

but there are a lot of slavic myths that are very cool too, though we dont know that much about them as about the greeks for example

60 - do you like poetry? what are some of your faves?

o o o o h yeah i do like poetry because to create such a beautifully sounding thing with only words someone has to be a genius

some of my favs are: some works of nakahara chuuya (thank u bsd for introducing me to this man’s beautiful imagery in his works i swear to god the descriptions do it for me) (also his poem about having hangovers is a mood like i feel you buddy), the raven by ea poe (i know everyone likes it but hOLY DAMN THE INTER/INTRAVERSE RHYMES ARE LIKE,,, BREATHTAKING) (and aso im a slut for gothic horror), and many more but also That One Poem From Welcome To Nightvale about reaching the island in the west,,, only perfect vibes from it

63 - are you fussy about your books and music? do you keep them meticulously organised or kinda leave them be?

okay heres the thing. for anyone else both my playlist library and my bookshelf would be considered pure chaos of a mad man b u t they actually have a highly focused system which means that i sort them based on their vibes, lovability and (in case of books) their age and whether or not theyre a part of a series so i would say my bookshelf is rather organised (when a quarter of it isnt occupying my desk that is) and my music is more organised than not but sometimes it gets out of control and i have to sort it entirely again

66 - what would your ideal flower crown look like?

either entirely constructed of simple white daisies, entirely constructed of only white roses, or something that probably would win a “how many different coloured flowers can one fit in a flower crown” competition

or something purple (maybe not belladonna)

83 - whats some of your favourite album art?

god i dont know if it counts but hozier’s wasteland baby is probably one of my absolute favourites and no one shall beat that

“thrifted youth” (dalynn) and “standard deviation” (danny schmidt) have very aesthetic covers too

also the iconic p!atd too weird to live, too rare to die! album cover,,, its just iconic what can i say

and last but not least matt meason’s pink-and-black album covers (though bank on the funeral is really pretty too but like,,, “who killed matt meason” d o e s it for me and so does the 2017 tribulation single)

87 - what are some movies that you think everyone should watch at least once in their lives?

this is such a hard question because im not a really cinematography-oriented gal but i suppose that (at the risk of not going deep enough into the cinema world):

- the princess bride

- inception

- night at the museum

- SPIRITED AWAY

- forrest gump

- truman show

- E.T. (i cried okay)

- the lord of the rings (because damn me if this isnt one impressive adaptation)

- parasite

and one more personal recommendation: “ready or not” with samara weaving because goddamn i dont usually watch this genre but holy s h i t is it good

93 - whats the hairstyle you wear the most?

honestly just plain hair down (because having curly hair is a menace), split in the middle when i have longer hair and split on one side when its short

also low ponytails or half-up-half-down when im exercising, or double french braids when my hair doesnt cooperate enough to look presentable in any other form

99 - list some songs that resonate with your soul whenever you hear them

this is difficult because my music taste is a goddamn rollercoaster on a good day, but heres some:

- me and the sky from “come from away” musical (this is sort of a test song for my mental stability, if i cry i aint stable)

- dancing after death by matt meason (okay most songs by matt meason except for like,,, hallucinogenics maybe)

- tears and rain by james blunt

- i will follow you into the dark by death cab for cutie

- almost home by mxmtoon

- anything by hozier really but shrike especially

- payphone, the cover by alex g (i cried to this song so many times)

- burning pile by mother mother (can i roast all my problems please)

- long way from home and cleopatra by the lumineers

- autoclave by the mountain goats

oooh that was c o o o o o o o l as fuck thank you sm so much bebe (and sorry for the long post @everyone else)

[the-mists-of-asgaard]

Bands List (Part 9: I)

Disclaimer: My passion and like for the respective bands does not mean that I support them outside of the music-world. I just like the songs, for whatever reason. Also, this took hours of research and mental exercises and checks through older lists I had made in the past, however I might be forgetting some bands, or might have accidentally put the same band twice (blame the human natural error). With this being said, let’s go! I: Insomnium, I Am, I Am Destruction, I Am All Wounds, I Am a Preacher, I Am the Messenger, I Am the Void, I Chaos, I Declare War, I Killed Everyone, I Miss My Death, Í Myrkri, I Refuse, I Swear Damnation, I the Intruder, I Will Tear This World Apart, I Lord Aveu, I Protagonist, I.N.R.I, I.N.R.I, I4896, Iapethos, Iarnvidjur, IATT, Ibéria, Iberian Wolves, Ibex Angel Order, Ibex Throne, Iblissian, Ibyss, Icarus Witch, I Saw the Deep, I Shall Devour, I Shalt Become, Ice Howl, Ichor, Ichor, Icon & the Black Roses, Icon of Curse, Icon of Destruction, Icon of Phobos, Iconic Vivisect, Iconoclast, Icons of Brutality, ICS Vortex, ID: Exorcist, ID:Vision, Ideologies Embodied, Ides, Ishan, Immortal, Infant Anihilator, Inquisition, Invidus, Impaled Nazarene, Impending Doom, Ides of Gemini, Idlegod, Idol of Fear, Idol Smasher, Idolheist, Idolist, If Hope Dies, If I Could Kill Myself, If You See Kaye, Ifing, Ifurin, Igatsus, Ignea, Igneous Human, Ignifer, Ignis Gehenna, Ignis Inferni, Ignis Noctem, Ignis Tellus, Ignite the Black Sun, Ignite the Helix, Ignition Code, Ignominious Incarceration, Ignotus Enthropya, Igor Mortis, Igric, Ihloosuhree, IIIVI Ghost, Iil Ialpirgah, Ikarian, Il Vuoto, Ilathar, Ildjarn, Ildra, Ildverden, Ilhalung, Iliac Thorns, Ilienses Tree, Ill Natured, Ill Tidings, Illarith, Illdisposed, Illidiance, Illimitable Dolor, Illkynja, Illogic Creatures, Illum Adora, Illumina A.D., Illumion, Illunïs, Illusion of Control, Illusion of Fate, Illusionary Funeral, Illusions Dead, Illusions Play, Illvilja, Ilmasai, Im Tode, Images of Eden, Images of Violence, Imago Metus, Imago Mortis, Imber Luminis, Imhla, Immaculate Deception, Immanent, Immemorial, Immense Suffering, Immensity, Immersed in Darkness, Imminent Annihilation, Imminent Ferality, Immiseration, Immolated Moth, Immolation, Immolith, Immorgon, Immortal Force, Immortal Souls, Immortal Threat, Immortalis, Impaled upon the Mountains, Impartial Dismemberment, Impavida, Impending Annihilation, Impenetrable Darkness, Impenitent, Imperative Decreation, Imperator, Imperceptum, Imperfectionist, Imperial Black Ceremony, Imperial Conquest, Imperial Domain, Imperial Slaughter, Imperilment, Imperious Vision, Imperium, Imperium, Imperium, Imperium Dekadenz, Imperium Infernalis, Imperium Sacrum, Imperthean, Impetuous, Impetuous Burial, Impious Havoc, Implements of Hell, Implore, Imposition, Impulsealer, Impulsive Gluttony, Impure, Impure Consecration, Impure Declaration, Impure Violation, Imynvokad, In Abominabiles Facti Sunt Carpi, In Aeternum, In Aevum Agere, In Autumn, In Autumnus, In Blood We Trust, In Caeli Absentia, In Cauda Venenum, In Chasms Deep, In Crucem Agere, In Darkest Dreams, In Demoni, In Dreams of Reality, In Extenso, In Flames, In Grief, In Hearts Wake, In Human Form, In Luna, In Mortis Veritas, In Mourning In My Shiver, In My Silence, In Oblivion, In Place of Hope, In Reverence, In Shadows and Dust, In Staid Grace, In tha Umbra, In the Company of Serpents, In the Gale, In the Woods..., In Torment I Die, In Twilight's Embrace, In Vain, Inactive Messiah, Inanimate Existence, Inborned Lycanthropy, Inbreed Aborted Divinity, Inception of Fall, Incest in Heaven, Inchoate, Incidere, Incinerate, Incinerated, Incinerated Flesh, Incinerating the Infidels, Incinerator, Incinerator, Incinerator, Incisus, Incited Abomination, Incivility Regurgitated, Inclemency, Inconcessus Lux Lucis, Incordia, Incorporea, Inculter, Incursed, Indecent Excision, Index Off Proxy, Indica Blues, Indigo Raven, Indisgust, Indoctri, Indoctrinate, Indricothere, Indrid Cold, Indrid Cold, Inducing Terror, Inequity, Infamous Glory, Infaust, Infected Laceration, Infected Mind, Infecting the Swarm, Infection Code, Infection of Heaven, Infekted, Infera Bruo, Inferi, Infernal Angels, Infernal Blaze, Infernal Coil, Infernal Cult, Infernal Katharsis, Infernal Regency, Infernalectomy, Infernalien, Infernarium, Inferno (XII), Infernotion, Infernüs, Infernus Presence, Infest, (The) Infestation, Infestation, Infested Entrails, Infested Monastery, Infesting Swarm, Infestum, Infibulated, Infidel Reich, Infiltrate, Infinite Death, Infinite Defilement, Infinite Density, Infinite Eclipse, Infinite Purgatory, Infinite Regression, Infinityum, Infliction, Infra, Inframonolithium, Infuria, Ingenium, Ingested, Ingested Lobotomized Remains, Inglorious, Ingrain, Ingress, Ingurgitate, Ingurgitating Oblivion, Ingvar, Inhale, Inhale the Void, Inhaling the Stench of Mustard Gas, Inhaling Cold, Inhepsie, Inherit Disease, Inherits the Void, Inhuman, Inhuman Atrocities, Inhuman Deformity, Inhuman Devourment, Inhuman Dissiliency, Inhuman Rage, Inhumate, Inhumation, Inhume, Iniquitous Deeds, Iniquitous Monolith, Iniquitous Savagery, Inira, Initium Mortuus, Inlandsys, Inmortus, (The) Inmost Blight, Inmost Ego, Inn13, (The) Inner Abyss, Inner Altar, Inner Blast, Inner Dawn Foundation, Inner Fear Project, Inner Maze, Inner Missing, Inner Nocturne, Inner Odyssey, Inner Sanctum, Inner Silence, Inner Suffering, Inner War, Innergrave, Innermoon, Innero, InnerSphere, Innerty, InnerWish, Innocence Écartelée, Innocens, Innominate, Innommé, Innovation Threat, Innse Gall, Innsmouth, Innumerable Forms, Inocculta, Inoculated Life, Inpathos, Inquinamentum, Inquiring Blood, Inquisitor, Insalubre, Insan, Insanation, (The) Insane, Insane Court, Insane Order, Insane Therapy, Insaniae, Insanity, Insanity, Insanity Cult, Insanity Reigns Supreme, Insano Vision, Insatanity, Insect, Insect Court, Insect Death, Insect Inside, Insectos Postmortem, Inseminate Degeneracy, Insepulto, Inside the Sun, Insidious, Insidious Asphyxiation, Insidious Decrepancy, Insidious Disease, Insidious Reign, Insidious Squelching Penetration, Insidious War, Insignificant Existence, Insignium, Insineratehymn, Insistent, Insomnia Creep, Insorcist, Inspell, Instant, Instant Mummification, Instigate, Instinct of Survival, Instorm, Insulter, Insurrection, Integral, Integrity, Integrity, Intellect Devourer, Inter Arma, Intercranial Tremors, Interface, Intergalactic Holocaust, Interior Wrath, Internal Aeon, Internal Bleeding, Internal Cold, Internal Damage, Internal Darkness, Internal Frost, Internal Organs External, Internal Suffering, Internal Vomit, Internment, Interregnum, Interspersing Bone and Blood, Interstellar Abraxas, Intervals, Intervoid, Intestinal Disgorge, Inthraced, Inthyflesh, Intig, Into Chaos, Into Dagorlad, Into Dark, Into Darkness, Into Decay, Into Eternity, Into the Arcane, Intothecrypt, Intra Spelaeum, Intracerebral Hemorrhage, Intracranial Butchery, Întristare, Intronaut, Intronaut, Introspectia, Introspectiva, Introvert Perversions, Intruder Incorporated, Invading Chapel, Invdrs, Inveracity, Inverloch, Inverno Eterno, Invert the Idols, Inverted Cross Cult, Inverted Earth, Inverted Mind, Inverted Virtue, Invertia, Inveterate Extinction, Invictus Infernal, Invidia, Invisible Enemy, Invisius, Inviting End, Invoke, Invoke the Fury, Invoker, Involuntary Convulsion, Invouta, Inward Escape, Io Apreo, Iōhannēs, ION, Iona Death Cult, Iperyt, Ira de Nephilim, Ira Diaboli, Ira Tenax, Irae, Irate Architect, Irden, Ire Wolves, Ireshrine, Iris Divine, Irkallian Oracle, Irminsul, IRN, Iron Altar, Iron Crown, Iron Flames, Iron Flesh, Iron Maiden, Iron Moth, Iron Noose, Iron Pike, Iron Spider, Iron Swan, Iron Walrus, Ironbird, Ironwood, Ironwork, Irony of Fate, Irrbloss, Irreparable, Irreverent Witness, Irreversible, Irreversible Mechanism, Irrweg, Iscariot, Ischemic Necrosis, Isebel, Isenblåst, Isengard, Isengrim, Ishvara, ISIS, Iskald, Isolated Antagonist, Isole, (The) Isosceles Project, Israfel, Isran, Isserley, Istårn, Isvind, It Creeps and It Crawls, Itching, Iteru, Ithdabquth Qliphoth, Ithilien, IV Luna, Ivan, Ivebeenshot, Ixion, Ixtab, IXXI, iwrestledabearonce, Izah, Izthmi, Iðrast

[sammansonn]

My Thoughts on the 100 7x08

(first i wanna say i no longer support bob and eliza but i do still love their characters and support the show but i Do know that bob and eliza are assholes thats all okay)

this was a Fun Time

when i first heard about the prequel series i wasn’t sure i would actually watch it because my love from the 100 comes largely from the characters so i wasn’t sure if i was gonna care about the prequel but this episode has got me Interested

so first off i love Calliope so much and feel so bad that she has a sociopathic narcissist as a father, thats a real rip

also Reese??? fucking hate him

like cool ur dad doesn’t love you, doesn’t give you an excuse to be a dick and literally kill people (he’s just a mini sociopath in progress)

i also felt bad for callie’s mom although she definitely should’ve done better i get why she did what she did and i was very glad she helped callie in the end and i Hope that she isn’t dead because bill and reese did her Dirty (seriously reese how you gonna let ur mom die like that what the Fuck)

i Loved the “fight” between callie and reese in which callie just went “i don’t have to prove myself to you fuck off” and just Shot him, that is what i’m Talking About its what we all Deserve

seriously have i mentioned how much i Hate Reese (he’s gonna be a gr8 villain in the actual prequel show tho and i would actually enjoy a redemption arc but i feel like it might be a billy of stranger things redemption arc with a similar kind of ending ya know?)

loved seeing more of becca she was so sweet and im So Sad she died she was such a good woman and deserved better but i’m glad callie was there and is carrying on her legacy and really making becca proud those two gals are really Amazing

honestly tho bill scares me in a way because he is just so narcissistic he would rather everyone die than let someone else save them like clarke needs to Murk him rn

i just think callie’s Neat and i’m excited to see her being a boss ass bitch and i also think its So Cool to see that she made trigedasleng and also how trikru was tree crew and the flame and the night bloods and all that idk i didn’t think i would care that much about it but i actually loved it

also i love leo howard (august) because not only was he jack in kickin it but he was also in legacies for a bit and is hopefully coming back to it but  i’m just glad to have him in the 100 universe and also are he and callie gonna be in love??? or are they more co-leaders and best friends??? (aka what jason keeps trying to tell us bellarke is even though they’re fucking in Love but whatever)

can we also talk about callie and august saying they were at a riot and got beaten by cops and literally shot at because Damn that is Too Accurate to american rn (and they shot this episode before all this was going on so that just goes to show you that our current world is in fact turning into a dystopian one) (also fuck cops ACAB)

i hope callie’s gay, i thought her friend at the beginning was a girlfriend and i think Callie deserves a girlfriend after all this #givecallieagf2020

also Loved seeing more of clarke just being fucking Devastated over bellamy’s “death” it hurts so much but in the best way

also love that she said “best friend” because i don’t think she’s ever referred to him like that?? the last person she called her best friend was wells and i know the term isn’t necessarily romantic but the Way she said it had so many layers of intimacy idk i Loved it

i am very nervous at octavia, echo, and diyoza being disciples??? (also where was hope?) idk how long they’ve been disciples but their faces looked a Bit too brainwashed for my liking and im Hoping they’re faking it but i worry they Aren’t and now we have to fix them before we can kill bill which is annoying

overall did not have Incredibly high expectation but it really was a gr8 time

[hyotenhyakkaso]

LETS TALK ABOUT VERSES

Verses: (Alphabetical order)

A Place In This World Verse: Jou’s babu years to just before he joined a gang

Number One Verse: Bleach verse lmao 

Did It To Myself Verse: UNKNOWN FASJLDFKADS J

Everybody’s Lonely Verse: Jou’s alone in the world and questioning himself and every relationship he’s had. He figures he’s better off alone and everyone’s fine without him so after a vacation he decides to disappear for good. Leaving no trace or evidence that he’d been there at all, like he’s been erased from existence altogether.

Every Heart Verse: InuYasha Au

 Fly away Verse: Breath of the wild Au 

Hiding In Your Hands Verse: (Main Verse): Jounouchi Katsuya is a part snow leopard due to unfortunate circumstances in his childhood. The rest is history however. ..... Yet, while the Duel monsters world is safe, the real world is not. Jou takes it upon himself to make sure that gang activity doesn’t skyrocket and take down those he sees as a threat to the population. He also adopts four children, Pit, Dark Pit, Jaden and Nimue. Finds a brother in Sora and a sister in Elsa and Anna. His life is weird but its his.

Icarus Verse: Jou works for Kaibacorp for shits and giggles and messes with Seto. He thinks they’re friends while Seto is trying to get used to this. (Exclusive Kaibacorpbros verse)

Killing Time Verse: Literally just crossover verses lmao

Leave Out All The Rest Verse: Oops, Jou fell too deep into his gang life again, he becomes a gang leader and eventually dies from it. He’s shown that he does have loved ones that love him back. The spirit that helps him lets him turn back the clock and fix whatever mistake he made. Endless loop until he figures out what he did wrong and how to fix it. 

Loser Baby Verse: Everything from  the original deleted blog falls into this verse unless stated otherwise.

Mr Sandman Man Me A Sand Verse: Absolute crack/chaos

Never Get Used To People Verse: Insane Jou au????? Maybe??????

Ready Steady Go! Verse: Fullmetal Alchemist Au (Will eventually be fleshed out when I figure out wtf is going on)

See Me Through Verse: Kingdom Hearts Au taking place in canon. Between the regular villain of the month episodes, Jou’s fighting his own monsters. Literally! Set with his keyblade Starset, he tries 

Thank You, Next Verse: He fully comes into himself in this au and quits the gang life for good. He goes to college and goes into car manufacturing business. 

Who is In Control? Verse: Jou never leaves his gang leader position, never makes friends with Yugi or Tristan and eventually becomes a bigger problem than Hirotani. No one’s sure who is worse, their previous leader or their current one. The blonds tendency to get himself into danger more often than not nearly get him killed on a regular basis. And he’s starting to realize he doesn’t care if he does.

Verses I’m not sure fall into the above categories or into their own categories: (To be discussed with muns)

Right Here Verse: Exclusive verse with Mutogamingco

Be Somebody Verse: Exclusive Verse with Game-weaver

I’d Lie Verse: Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh I dunno yet but its like- Exclusive verse with Dungeondicediva

Lullaby for a stormy night Verse: He pretty much unofficially adopts Pit and Dark Pit as his sons and raises them alongside a goddess- (Yeah he’s questioning himself too but he wouldn’t change it)

  Shipping Verses: 

Monster Verse: Exclusive shipping verse for atlantis-prince. However this also contains Atem’s, Mai’s, Joey’s and other’s fights with Jou about getting together with the evil boi. I need to start containing this to this verse, its starting to bleed into other verses- Namely Hiding In Your Hands. 

Must Have Been The Wind Verse: Exclusive shipping verse with Darkheartedprince (?)

Once In A Dream Verse: Exclusive shipping verse with Soraofdestinyislands

The Drug In Me Is You Verse: Exclusive shipping verse with Thiefakefia

Watermelon Sugar Verse: Exclusive shipping verse with Lightheartedwarrior

You Can’t Fight the Moonlight Verse: Exclusive shipping verse with World-duelists: ~I’m in love with the goddess who lives down the street the girl may work at wafflehouse but she dunnt miss a beat (Jaden)~  ~ I want you to remember this when you put yourself down I cannot fear my future now that I have you around (Joey)~

 Character Tags:

Atem (millennium-puzzle-spirit):  ~I’ll carry you home no you’re not alone keep marching on this is worth fighting for you know we all have battle scars (Atem)~

Atem (Sennenpharaoh): ~See that line well I never should have crossed it stop right there that’s the very moment that I wish that I could take back (Atem)~

Akefia (theifakefia):  ~Your secrets keep you sick your lies keep you alive Snake eyes every single time you roll with crooked dice (Akefia)~

Aizen (Bleachintothemultiverse):  ~The world you once created inside your dreams is brought to life as it now leads you and I across the distant sky! (Aizen)~

Bakura (tenacioustheif): ~We could set the world alight there is so much you could be if only you'd join me we’d make one hell of a team (Bakura)~

Byakuya (Bleachintothemultiverse): ~Thousands of cherry blossoms dwindling in the light though I can’t hear your voice keep what I say in mind (Byakuya)~

Dark Pit (WinglessArcher): ~You’ll be in my heart no matter what they say you’ll be here in my heart always (Dark Pit)~

Dartz (Atlantis-prince): ~So I will talk to you the only way I know how to I’ve said my speech through sharpened teeth (Dartz)~

Elsa (Iskrone): ~You can lift your head up to the sky Take a deeper breath and give it time You can walk the path among the lines (Elsa)~

Hanataro (Bleachintothemultiverse): ~Though a thousand words have never been spoken they’ll fly to you crossing over the time and distance (Hanataro)~

Jaden (World-Duelists): ~Live in the now and break your confines take ahold of this precious time glory days cause your life is not to trade (Jaden)~

Jaden (Tenebrosity-bulwark): ~Cause now again I found myself so far down away from the sun that shines into the darkest place Im so far down away from the sun (Jaden)~

Joey (Luckyredeyes): ~I’m alive oh yeah between the good and bad’s where you’ll find me reaching for heaven I will fight and I’ll sleep when I die (Joey)~

Joey (World-Duelists): ~When darkness turns to daybreak go out and see for your sake the people of this world may share your pain (Joey)~

Joey (brooklynxsweetheart): ~ I see your monsters I see your pain tell me your problems I'll chase them away I'll be your lighthouse (Joey)~

Mai (ohmaiwhathavewedone): ~Hey sister do you still believe in love I wonder? Oh if the sky comes falling down for you theres nothing in this world I wouldnt do (Mai)~

Mana (mahoushoumonster): ~Cause you cant jump the track we’re like cars on a cable and lifes like an hourglass glued to the table (Mana)~

Mokuba (Kaibacorpbros) ~Daydreamer kidnap me take me back all the way back to them days runnin around in a gown and a crown barefoot (Mokuba)~

Nimue (Tenebrosity-bulwark): ~The most powerful thing you own is your voice scream above the noise that you’re perfect as you are even when times are hard (Nimue)~

Otogi (Dungeondicediva): ~Here’s to us here’s to love all the times that we fucked up here’s to you fill the glass (Otogi)~

Pit (WinglessArcher): ~Come my child stay with me I’ll protect you and your dreams. Rest my child ‘neath the tree like it’s branches reach for me (Pit)~

Seto (Kaibacorpbros):  ~Icarus Icarus why you so serious serious? You know you gotta let it go cause you're flying too close (Seto)~

Sora (Asorableisms):  ~Though we don't share the same blood. You're my brother and I love you thats the truth. (Sora)~

Sora (Soraofdestinyislands): ~When I’m awake I hide all the chains so you aren’t afraid I can’t stop I cant break I carry the weight for you (Sora)~

Yugi (Game-weaver):  ~I'm just the boy inside the man not exactly who you think I am trying to trace my steps back here again so many times (Yugi)~

Yugi (Mutogamingco): ~I wanted to be like you I wanted everything So I tried to be like you and i got swept away I didnt know that it was so cold (Yugi)~

Updated when new verses form!

[nikkigrand]

There’s no easy way to say this, but I’m abandoning all of my works. Everything.

This post is going to be long, honest, triggering and deeply personal. So for those who don’t want to read through all of my bullshit, the gist is that I’m not emotionally or mentally capable of writing anymore.

TW ARE IN PLACE.

If you’ve followed me for a while, then you know that my boyfriend was killed in Afghanistan last year. Since then, my life has been a breathless decline into self destruction. I didn’t know—I still don’t know—how to recover from happily waiting for his return to painfully knowing he never will. I swear that some days I feel like he’s still out there and some day he’ll come home and this will all be just a bad dream. I want to wake up to a reality where he steps off that plane and into my arms, where I don’t keep a crumpled old t shirt that smells more of me than him under my pillow, where the shock of hearing certain songs doesn’t make me throw up. A reality where I don’t have to sit in front of his ashes every time I visit his mother and look at his singed necklace around her neck.

I wanted nothing more than to wake up. Just wake the fuck up and feel alive again because for so long I had felt this choking pain and grief and misery and then nothing.

Everything became an escape, something to fill that void in me. I tried all the healthy things. I ate, I worked out, I ran. I talked to people about how I felt and reached out, but nothing helped. I volunteered, i planted trees and flowers, I channeled my grief into kindness. I tried to take all this pain and turn it into something beautiful, and still I felt nothing. I was falling falling falling into this black pit and was reaching for anything to keep me from hitting the bottom.

So I started chasing highs. The standard shit at first. I drank so much alcohol that I’d wake up in bushes with my friends, limbs tangled in ways that left me sore and stinging for days because who the hell passes out in a Rose bush?

At first, drinking was fucking hell, because no matter how much I drank I’d always end up with my head cradled in the palms of my hands, fingers digging into my scalp as I screamed and wailed and asked why why why why when he was so close to coming home and why was life so goddamn mean??? I’d be in bar bathrooms, just curled in the corner and sobbing like a dramatic princess until my friends carried me out. This happened about a dozen times before it just stopped, because I figured I wasn’t drinking enough if I could remember everything.

So I drank more and more and more and then I realized that it wasn’t making me feel better, it wasn’t doing anything for me.

So I started smoking. Just weed, you know. Nothing too crazy at the time. But all that did was make me hyper-fixate on all of my failures and short comings. It made me hate myself so viscerally, so deeply that I wondered if this is who I truly am at my core. A mean bitch who drinks, smokes, parties. A maneater who fucks these poor kind hearted men to fill that hole her dead man left inside her and still finds herself cold and numb after because it’s not enough. It’s never enough.

I’m sure you know where this is going. But I hated myself. I’m a beautiful girl, I’m not blind, and yet I found myself to be so fucking ugly. So fucking ugly and grey and all I wanted—all I needed—was something to breathe life into me the way life itself did before.

I just wanted to feel happy and normal. Only for a little while. That need was so encompassing it would grip my insides and I’d cry from how much I wanted it, how much I had convinced myself I needed it. It was all I fucking wanted.

So the bumps came. And then the lines. And then whole baggies to myself. And it felt amazing, it was wonderful. The world was alive, things were different. I had more energy, more life in me than I had in months. Then the other type of lines came and it made me feel like I was floating away. There was no pain, no misery, no death hanging over my shoulder to remind me that the strength of your love can’t make people stay.

But soon, that too wasn’t enough. Like every other thing, I felt there was something better, something that could make me feel more. So here is where I tell you about all the pills I popped, all the different colored presses and how each one pulled me out of that hole I was falling into and deposited me above the ground —much higher than I could have ever dreamed of—and filled my grey world with beautiful gorgeous colors.

Then I can tell you about all the tabs I let dissolve on my tongue, or fully swallowed out of impatience, all of the lines of ketamine I combined with ecstasy and acid in one night. The things I saw, the way I felt—it took me far from this dismal life and was addicting. I was chasing something every weekend until it became every other day, chasing some feeling I still can’t name, and I knew that it was ruining me.

My grief and my drugs were killing me, and I knew it. With every cotton mouth, every clenched jaw, every pounding headache, I fucking knew and didn’t care. I’d look at my friends faces and I knew, I knew they loved me and would be devastated if they knew what I was doing, and I still didn’t care. What was life if it felt this empty?

My grades dropped, i turned down a contracting job I wanted for years, I spent all my money on psychedelics and stimulants, and it had gotten to a point where I’d pop a pill while sitting at home just because I didn’t want to be sober and didn’t want to think about how fucked up my life was becoming.

Then one day I was at a concert, high in the clouds with a joint settled comfortably between my lips and frizzy hair piled messily atop my head, when I saw a girl get carried out the venue by medics. She was probably a few years younger than I am, and i remember looking at her face impassively as they pushed through the crowd with her body thrown over this bear of a man’s shoulder as if in slow motion. She was pale and foaming at the mouth, with her arms dangling limply down his back, and she looked dead—she was dead. I knew in that same way you know that the sky is blue when the sun is up, I just knew.

And in that moment—those few seconds it took me to acknowledge that she had most likely overdosed and died—this intense yearning shot through me, so strong that I felt it in the crooks of my fucking elbows, like I wanted to embrace whatever the fuck it was that I desired to live inside me, and this voice cried out, “I wish that were me.”

And you know what, I didn’t even know I had spoken until the guy next to me shoved me in the shoulder and said, “no you don’t.”

And that terrified me. I remember dropping the joint, fumbling it in my shaking fingers, burning myself on the lit end, before handing it off to that same random guy and running off to get some air.

I’m not stupid and I’m not blind. I know I’m depressed, I know I’ve got issues, but I had never said something so suicidal out loud up until that point. I’ve never vocally wished for death and even as I sat there, as I looked out at the people outside the venue huddled together doing whip it’s and killing brain cells, I still wanted to be that poor dead girl on that man’s shoulders.

That was it for me. I remember calling an Uber home on the spot and taking everything I had and flushing it. Im not going to sit here and lie to you and tell you that it was easy. I had convinced myself that I needed these things to make me happy, and i don’t know if I can ever see life the same way after them. The feelings you get off these things are otherworldly, it’s so damn good, but they come at a price. You dont feel the same way you did before you took them, and you never will. You’ll never be who you were before that high, but you can almost convince yourself that it’s worth it. So it was pretty damn hard to take my neon presses, my rocks. my capsules, my bud and my tabs, and flush them down the toilet.

Almost immediately after I did it, I cried. Mostly because i had flushed hundreds of dollars down the fucking toilet, but also because I had become that girl in those cheesy college movies. You know the one, the one where the party girl gets addicted to drugs and goes on a bender and her whole life is just one big goddamn tragedy that won’t end. I hate those fucking movies and I, for the life of me, could not believe I was that girl.

I had been military, straight laced with a good head on my shoulders and a hard worker. I was smart, respected, the girl everyone wanted to bring home to mom. And now I was a hot mess crying in my bathroom because I had just flushed my addiction down the shitter.

Now I’m just home, trying to gather the pieces of myself in a way that doesn’t cause long term damage when I’ve yet to hit my 27th birthday.

I still go out with my friends. They know nothing about what I’ve done because I’ve always gone out and done things alone. This is the first time I’ve ever spilled my guts.

So where does FanFiction come into play in all this. Well, it’s simple, really, if you’ve gotten to this point and picked out all the mistakes in grammar. My brain is so fucked up that I can barely write a passable 3 page essay. I can’t remember words, much less how to string them together to form something beautiful in the way I used to. Trust me, it kills me and I’ve agonized over it for hours. I once tried to take this amazing idea I had and put it to paper but it would just not flow. Nothing made sense. Where before writing was effortless and focused, now my brain could barely concentrate on forming a sentence that didn’t sound like gibberish.

My attention span is so short that I literally have to isolate myself with no internet and my textbooks to get work done. It’s so bad that I have anxiety and panic attacks about the fact that I feel like a whole dumbass with one brain cell, where before I was proud of my intelligence and could hold decent conversation.

I’m still pretty, as if that fucking matters, but now I’ve got a stutter and can’t hold eye contact because my paranoia makes me think they’re judging me. And let me tell you, I’m so fucking pissed about that because I know it’s just my fried brain thinking these things, and there’s no one to blame but myself.

And I still feel empty and numb. How can I write about love and human emotions when I don’t feel anything? How can I write about looking at someone and loving them when the memory of love faded like my lover’s ashes in the wind? I just can’t.

I know love as it whispers against my skin with each interaction between me, friends, even other men, and yet I look at them and feel absolutely nothing.

So Yeah, I can’t write my stories if I can’t get my brain or my heart to work.

I’m really sorry to all my loyal readers. I really am. I wish I had been stronger. Thank you for all of your support throughout the years.

Don’t do drugs.