#if my living expenses were covered it wouldn't take very long to save enough money for a ThM

[asinglesock]

on the one hand I KNOW that this community director job at the school where I went for undergrad is probably a pretty miserable gig, BUT it's 18.75 an hour, plus a furnished apartment on campus (pets allowed!!) and a meal plan during the school year. which is actually not a lot considering how much time the job requires but I think I would thrive in those circumstances as long as the work wasn't unbearable.

[never-forget-viva-la-pluto]

We can throw grenades at the people crushing machine. We can band together and try to get away from it. We can run face first at it and jam it till it breaks. We can jam it with our clothes. We can fuck up the factory. Giving up doesn't help anyone.

We can cause revolution. Maybe you can't because you're a liberal but at least us leftists can.

In reference to this post: https://www.tumblr.com/never-forget-viva-la-pluto/733556484079796224/some-idiot-on-these-posts-lesser-of-two-evils-is

So listen up,

You can't blow up the machine without hurting the common folk you are meant to be fighting for.

The suggestions you made all result in numerous people dying.

1)Throw grenades at the united states capitalism system.

Okay, let's do it. Throw a grenade. Can you get access to grenades? Do you think your little group of friends with a bunch of grenades would be able to get your little grenades anywhere close to a millionaire lawmaker in congress or the white house or corrupt police stations or billionaire villas etc? You wouldn't even get close enough to make a difference. You and all your little buddies just get charged with attempted murder and you go to jail for life, having helped 0 people in the end, fixed nothing.

How do I know? Because if it were that easy, we would have done it by now. YOU would have done it by now.

2)Band together and try to get away from it.

Who gets to leave? Not all of us can leave. I currently can't walk because I have a painful disability, but I'm lucky, my pain will only last a few more days and I can go then, so as long as I'm there when the...train arrives? What? What's the plan for that? Who will drive that train to get you there? They will have to work the whole time you are evacuating everyone who can leave. Where are we going that is free from capitalism,huh? Fucking space!?! Can you get there? I can't.

And how should we band together and leave? Will you give all your money to that needy family so they can start over somewhere else? What of you then? Will you stay in this human right hell hole with no money at all for that family to be free. But they have friends and relatives they don't want to leave. Will you pay for them too? Oh wait! YOU CANT, because you too are living in this hell.

You can't leave or you WOULD HAVE ALREADY!

3) Run head first into the people eating machine and jam it.

Our system is a people crushing machine. It is so good at crushing people, it would take a VERY large number of people dying to get the USA to bail on capitalism and fix this shit(especially bc a large number of people dying is beneficial for the economy and thus rich assholes making laws that kill people are able to better fill their pockets).

There is no parent in this country that works 60 hrs a week so their child doesn't starve that would NOT take this deal for a chance to save their child's life.

Some have, because life insurance scams are usually a desperate act and a very real thing, but you only have to wait a few years. https://www.valuepenguin.com/life-insurance-suicide#covered

What you are suggesting we do to fix the problem is being attempted as we speak, but the machine just gets better at tricking people that jumping into the machine is a good idea.

4) We can jam it with our clothes/earthly possessions.

I mean...we can but "I can only afford food and shelter this month and Christmas is coming up and my son has a disability that makes it so he can't eat most foods so I wanted to get him something other than rice and kimchi, potatoes and lettuce. Like a gluten free roll. They are so much more expensive. Reg bread is 2 dollars, gluten free bread is 7 dollars and is smaller."- My mother circa 2018

If we thought that sacrificing our possessions to the almighty machine would keep us from dying, we WOULD HAVE DONE IT ALREADY! There are people who have sold everything they own to afford medication as simple as insulin! But once you have done that you are homeless and they have to sleep closer to the people crushing machine than anyone else!

5)We can blow up the factory.

Okay, I don't know what you thought the factory was in terms of the metaphor I used, but the factory is the United States, ya know the place where I assume we both reside.

Should we blow it up? The whole thing? Like, both of us? And everyone we know who lives in this country? Their pets too? All the plants and animals that live in this factory don't matter? Peoples kids are in this factory right?

This one is one that people have tried a few times and people don't generally suggest this one bc they are usually killed, or charged with domestic terrorism, and those people are the ones that stormed the capital and tried to kill Gretchen Whitmar. Ya know?... white supremacists.

You say giving up doesn't help anyone, and you are right.

I've not given up, I'm voting so Gretchen Whitmar's work doesn't get undone the second she leaves. I am buying from local business and boycotting poor ethics as much as I can(again, not a ton of food options for me and I can only afford so much). I am at as many protests that I can be(again, I can't walk right now bc disability). I vote for whomever I think won't actively try to kill me and others like me so I will be alive to help others and send that money to the people who need it more than I do. I help out in my community, I cuss out the racist animal control guy, and I don't tell the cops shit when they come to my door asking about my neighbors.

I haven't given up, but if you think risking countless lives by blowing up the states and starting over is the answer, then you certainly have.

There isn't going to be a damned revolution, because if it made things better we would have done it already!!!

We have a two party system, and that system isn't going to end any time soon, so do what you can to HELP EACH OTHER!

It helps save people's lives to vote blue. It helps to save people's lives to look away when you see someone stealing food. It helps to click those buttons and understand that it's never going to be as simple as a waiting until the perfect candidate. Biden sucks, but the alternative is worse. We have this discussion every election, if the topic wasn't the Gaza it would be something else. In 2020 it was victims of police brutality during BLM protests. Using victims of a genocide or white supremacy as your reason to burn everything down or blow everything up is wrong.

If we had another option, I assure you, the desperate people of the United States would have done it already. The COMPASSIONATE people of the United states would have done it already. It is a fact that someone is going to win that election, and if you don't vote, it will be a republican and they want the machine to be faster at killing people. For now we play the extremely, perhaps perpetual, long game and we protest its wrongdoings.

And we don't give up.

[teplavecernice]

i have grown up in a similar situation although different and much less extreme. my mum is in the lower half of middle class, but my dad is at least upper middle class (we do not know the full extend of his wealth). in their marriage they had separate finances and one joint account to cover household expenses to which they would contribute equally - at least in theory. in reality my father would continue to give the same amount of money even amidst inflation (this includes the 2008 crisis) and slowly slowly his contribution wouldn't even cover his own share of expenses and my mum had to reach into her own savings to keep the household running. in regards to day to day expenses (grocery shopping, clothes, toys, school supplies etc.) i had basically the same experience as if i was raised by a single mother.

all while my father made several times more money than her that he was just pocketing/spending on things for his own enjoyment. those things included family vacations several times a year (among his solo vacations that were about just as frequent and up to a month long, and during the time he spent on those vacations and often even after he would not contribute a dime bcs he had too many "expenses" - those times were the hardest financially). those family vacations were very costly but at the same he would look for any way to spend as little as possible on us (me, my mum and our pets). this included things such as buying rotten food bcs it was cheaper or not buying me (a small child) water when i was thirsty in over 30 degrees weather bcs it was "too expensive". all while he got to enjoy all the luxury he wanted. after those family vacations he would also refuse to contribute any money for running the household. and let me be clear - he was making insane amounts of money whether he was on vacation or not, he actually barely went to work ever (he would work 2-5 hour days how many or little days a week he wanted to and it would not affect his income).

he also pushed me to go to private school (which i would attend for 8 years) that he promised to pay for - he payed for the first 2 semesters, was late on payment on the 3rd one and when he didn't pay for the 4th one i was faced with the threat of being expelled. my mum ended up having to take from her own savings so i could stay in the school he wanted me to go to. that school tuition continued to be a major burden on our family for the next years and was one of the reasons i decided to drop out and complete my high school education at a different school in a long-distance program.

and i don't even wanna bring all of his emotional and mental abuse into this, this tirade is long enough as is. just know that everything i have described here and also everything else he would twist into either him being the victim or it somehow being the fault of either me or my mum.

so yeah, the description of being an exotic pet feels fitting. i was an exotic pet for him and my mum was the animal handler.

thankfully since my parents divorce there is the threat of legal investigation into his finances (which would for sure put him behind bars) looming over him if he doesn't pay alimony so he's been paying like clockwork. that money has allowed me to support myself in uni while also taking care of my mental and physical health. so i do recognize and see that my position is still very much privileged in certain aspects, but ever since i was little i lived in a world of dual class - half of my experiences, especially day-to-day life was pretty much lower middle class; the other half was very much upper middle class. and it is really confusing for a lot of people including me sometimes that i did grow up in a large suburban home and went on several vacations a year but at the same time sometimes we would have to cut down on our grocery expenses to get by and i would often have to wear clothes that i grew out of.

As a kid, when your parents are poor, you're poor. If they don't have money, that means none of you have money. But if someone's parents are rich, that doesn't necessarily mean the kid is. Sometimes rich peoples' kids aren't rich kids, they're just some rich freak's exotic pets that can talk but aren't allowed to.

[ultraintrovertedgryffindor]

Trauma Nightmares - Ben Miller (Escape Room)

I believe I will be at least one of the first people to make an x reader for this character, which is like, unacceptable. Ben is a cinnamon roll and deserves more love. Get👏🏻with👏🏻the👏🏻program👏🏻sheeple

! ! ! Spoilers for the Escape Room movies ! ! !

~~~~~~~~~~

(my gif)

You awoke to the sound of whimpering.

At first, your thoughts immediately went to your dog, maybe he needed to go out? But as you gained more consciousness, you realized it wasn't your dog at all.

You looked over to see your boyfriend's sleeping form in the dark, but you quickly noticed that something was wrong.

You quickly turned on your bedside lamp, illuminating Ben's face to show you his face contorted in a fearful expression, his eyes shut tightly and his fists clenching. He was whimpering and whispering words that only sounded muffled to you.

He was having another nightmare.

As soon as you saw tears streaming down his face, you gently shook him. "Ben." You said as softly as possible, caressing his face. He woke with a jolt, grabbing you by your shoulders tightly, wildly looking around the room in a panic. "Hey, it's okay. It's okay."

Ben was still tense, but his panicked look calmed when his eyes finally landed on your concerned face. He slowly released the vice grip he had on your shoulders. The tension finally being released made you want to wince, but you stayed quiet because you knew he'd feel awful about hurting you, even unintentionally.

Ben frantically ran his fingers through his tangled hair, exhaling a loud shuddering breath.

You took hold of his hand, bringing it up to place a kiss on his knuckles. "It was just a dream."

Ben frowned, "Yeah..."

It was more than just a dream. It was a memory that was even more fucked up being replicated by his subconscious every time he closed his eyes. There were nights where it wasn't so bad, but it was almost always the same...

Ben was in a large room, every inch decorated in a way that would make you think you were in a rich person's mansion. The walls covered with ornate looking wallpaper, the burning fireplace giving the gold patterns a reflective shine. It felt cramped, fancy furniture filling the room that emitted an old, sweet musk that permeated his nostrils. It might've been a cool place to hang out in, if only he wasn't trying to fight for his life.

The walls were closing in as Ben's mental timer counted down, only seconds away from getting crushed to death along with all the expensive looking and fragile furniture, pieces of splintering wood getting lodged in his skin and shards of glass from the chandelier quickly slicing flesh and making him bleed a bright red.

Ben thought he had gotten all the clues, he could've sworn the code for the door was correct. But the walls didn't stop pushing further and further in. The doors wouldn't open. There was no escape. He could never escape...

But he did. He did escape that wretched Minos building and he was here with you, the sweet scent of your freshly washed hair relaxed him more than you could ever know. Just you sitting with him was enough most of the time, he appreciated you so much.

Ben allowed his eyes to close when he felt your soft skin against his, gently running your thumb across his knuckles. Sometimes he wondered if you were an actual angel sent down to help him overcome his PTSD, it felt like it in moments like these.

"Do you want to talk about it?" You voiced softly.

Ben slightly shook his head. "It's the same as always. There would be no point."

You noticed the sweat stains on his shirt and came up with an idea. "How about I run you a hot bath?"

Ben looked at you. "Why?"

You offered a small smile. "It'll help soothe you." And without another word, you pushed your duvet off and stood on the cool carpet, walking to the joint bathroom without waiting for an answer from Ben.

You turned the valve almost all the way to the left, got water soon flowing out of the faucet and quickly filling up the tub. You stepped back into the room to see Ben blankly staring off into space, most likely thinking about his dream over and over again like he usually does.

You didn't understand what he was going through, because you were never in that type of situation. You were never trapped in those escape rooms, and you hoped you never would. The way Ben described it to you, you wouldn't wish it on your worst enemy. You wished you knew exactly what he needed, but alas, you weren't a psychologist and you felt helpless when it came to his nightmares/flashbacks. But you did research soothing techniques for people with PTSD, and it helped some.

Whenever Ben had a horrible nightmare and couldn't escape his own head, he'd allow you to take the lead and you'd try your best to help calm his mind. And tonight, it was a hot bath.

You lead Ben into the bathroom like a toddler, gently undressing him and slowly easing him down to sit in the tub. You smiled softly when you heard him let out a sigh, the hot water feeling like heaven against his skin. But he didn't have to say anything to let you know he wanted you to sit with him, his big green puppy dog eyes were practically begging you.

You quickly undressed, not as gracefully as you undressed Ben, but you soon placed yourself to sit behind him. You wrapped your arms around his torso, and he instinctually relaxed against you, your warm skin proving to be more soothing than the hot water that engulfed the two of you.

You soon entangled your fingers in Ben's long, blonde locks, gently working out the knots from his bedhead and massaging his scalp. You smiled softly when you heard him let out a whiny sigh, feeling the muscles in his back finally untensing in your embrace.

"I hate these fuckin' goddamn nightmares..." Ben voiced.

"I know." You frowned, giving a soft kiss to his shoulder. "I know...I wish I could do more to help you."

Ben turned his head to look at you. "Hey..." He brought his hand up to caress your cheek. "Just being here, with me, is more than enough. I honestly don't think I'd be able to keep my sanity if it weren't for you."

You gently shook your head. "You're strong, Ben. You would be okay."

Ben frowned, turning his head back to stare forward. "I'm not as strong as you think I am."

"You are strong. I wouldn't even survive the stress of a situation like that."

"You'd never know until you were in that place. That was the whole point of that goddamn murder maze. Seeing what someone is capable of when their life is on the line." He huffed, tensing once again at the thought of being back at Minos.

You hugged him tighter, laying your head on his shoulder. "You won't have to deal with that evil place ever again, okay? You're safe now."

Ben chuckled bitterly. "Zoey wants me to fly to Manhattan with her, to try and take down Minos. I don't the universe has much safety in store for me any time soon."

"Ben, I thought we talked about this. You don't have to feel obligated to go with Zoey when you want to move on. It's not your fault if she's still stuck there."

"She saved my life. I owe her everything."

You sighed, you knew you couldn't talk him out of it. Now, life debts, you could understand well enough. Zoey was a sweet girl, a bit intense, but for a good reason. If Ben was going to help her take down Minos, you wanted to help too.

"I'm going with you."

Ben's eyes widened, quickly shaking his head, turning around in the tub to face you. "No. No, you can't. It's too dangerous. I wouldn't be able to live with myself if something happened to you."

"And I wouldn't be able to live with myself if something bad happened to you. If you're going, I'm going too, and you can't talk me out of it."

"Y/n..."

"I love you, Ben. And I'll be damned if I don't do anything I can to help you." You finally snapped.

Ben blushed, his lip trembling slightly as tears built up his in eyes once again. "I don't want you to go through what I had to. Minos is run by psychopaths and they'll do anything to people for money. I just want you to be safe, at any cost...I've never felt that way about someone before..."

You smiled softly, leaning towards him and placing your hands on his cheeks before fully connecting your lips with his. "As long as we're together," You started once you pulled away, "I believe we'll be okay."

Ben finally nodded, enveloping you in a tight hug and releasing a shaky sigh. "I hope so..."

~~~~~~~~~~

Ben is my boy, he is very precious so me😊

[chloe-writes]

Reader is a cook at the scouts, she notice that commander Erwin rarely makes an entrance at the mess hall and she's also aware about Erwin's sweet tooth so she prepared food and send it to his office causing Erwin to fall for her 🥰❣️

Cream Puff

[Erwin x Fem!Reader]

[Fluff - Canonverse]

Summary: (Y/N) faces a new challenge as a cook in the Scouts when Erwin hasn't been showing up in the mess hall lately, making her worry about his well-being. With the help of Levi, she gathers the courage to personally deliver a meal to the blond's office.

Content Warning: none

Word Count: 1.4k

After dinner, you would clean the kitchen up and wash the plates. Apparently, that was included in your job description of being a chef. In the nine months of serving military soldiers, you always found them to be a bit... disgusting.

The Scouts ate like pigs. Though it was understandable, you'd eat in such a way too after a brutal day of training under the heat of the sun. Doing the dishes takes a long time to accomplish, long enough to catch a certain man make his way to brew tea in the late hours of the night.

Levi was not very talkative. In fact, he was grumpy and ill-tempered, not very desireable traits in a person. But he was a frequent late night kitchen visitor. So, you took the effort of making small talk with him, in hopes of befriending the short captain. Suprisingly, your god-awful attempts at striking a conversation with him did the trick. By now, it was a mutual consensus among the two of you that you were friends.

"The best way to a man's heart is through his stomach."

"Levi!"

"Cut the crap (Y/N). You like the guy? Shoot your shot."

Levi didn't want to admit it, but the idea of both his friends getting together and finding love in this wretched world gave him a sense of happiness. The raven-haired man was passively supportive of you making your advances.

"It's just that- Erwin's a busy man. Hell, I've been working here as a cook for nine months, even so, the amount of times I've seen him is something I can count with my 10 fingers."

"He's lost a limb. Who knows what would happen the next expedition?" You wanted to deny it, however Levi was right. Each and every soldier was cognizant of the risk that comes with signing up for the Scouting Legion. At this point, it was a widely known fact that the Scouts don't live long.

In as much as you were afraid to shoot your shot, all this pining had to be put to an end.

---

The next day came. With the free time you had this morning, you thought it was a grand idea to fetch some baking stuff from the market, since Levi mentioned Erwin had a sweet tooth, especially for Cream Puffs. Adorable.

Over the previous months, you've managed to save money for personal use. Knowing that the Survey Corps food budget doesn't cover for expensive confectionery products, you paid for the Cream Puff ingredients with your own hard-earned money instead. It was for someone special, so spending your savings for them wasn't much of a biggie.

Preparing the lunch and dessert was easy. Personally delivering it to the commander? Not so much.

Balancing the tray of food on your right, you brought your other shaky hand up to his office door. Momentarily stopping to a halt, you take a deep breath before gently knocking and stating your name.

Once you heard Erwin's approval, you made your way in. The room was spacious. Sure, you've managed to sneak a few glances through the small gap in the door whenever you'd pass by, however never had you actually stepped in to properly observe the office which connected to his personal quarters.

"Ms. (L/N), what brings you here today? Take a seat." Of course Erwin knew what your business here was, the tray of food resting in your hands gave it away, but he wanted to hear the answer from you.

He gestured for the seat in front of his desk, so you wouldn't be standing there awkwardly.

Erwin was a heavenly sight. Even with his battle scars and the loss of a limb, he's definitely still the most attractive guy you could name. The 5 o'clock shadow on his face just adorned the blond man you've learned to admire from afar. Ripping away from your thoughts before they could escalate into an average daydream, you focused on the current task at hand.

"I-I'm sorry for interrupting Sir, but I thought of bringing you a meal... since ahh- since you haven't been making an entrance in the mess hall lately."

That was oddly sweet. It wasn't in your job description to check up on him, nor were you close friends to make it your obligation. You didn't have to go out of your way to make sure he was getting proper nutrition, but you did. Your simple act of kindness was enough to make a grown man like Erwin feel his heart skip a beat.

He silently chuckled at the thought, a well-respected commander like him who has served for at least 20 years in the military, trying to hide his romantic excitement like a foolish school boy. "Thank you, (Y/N). Is it alright if I call you by your first name?"

You realized you were still standing despite being offered a seat, making your way to set the tray on his desk you gave him a simple 'yes' with a slight nod as you sat down.

An obvious blush crept to your cheeks, you don't recall ever being this close to the Adonis of a man. If you had, you would probably stash that memory away somewhere special, most likely visiting that place regularly.

"Let me tell you, not many people know Cream Puff is my favorite dessert."

Catching on to what he was implying, you took a few moments to form a reply, "Levi's the one who told me about it, if that's what you mean sir."

The commander wasn't oblivious to the fact you had a little crush on him. It didn't take him long to figure that out. On the rare instances you'd interact, your face would glow with a warm shade of red. He could also feel your eyes burrow a hole on his back each time he'd happen to move past you.

It wasn't creepy though, he thought it was cute. You were a woman of grace and beauty, which had caught his attention. If only he weren't busy playing a dangerous game of politics, he would have certainly asked you out on a fancy dinner by now.

Erwin took the spoon with his only hand, beginning to eat.

Silence ensued for what seemed like an eternity, which suffocatingly thickened the atmosphere of the room. You were too exhilarated by the oppurtunity of seeing him enjoy your food, it just registered in your brain that you were once again intensely staring at him.

He must think I'm a creep. The sheer embarrasement of overstaying your welcome was written all over your face. Taking it as your cue to leave, you stand up, "If there's nothing else, I'll be taking my leave."

Halfway through consuming the main course of his meal, the veteran soldier spoke. "There is one more thing. Stay with me. I'd like your company."

Erwin is painfully aware of the repercussions the position of commander brings. One being having no spare time for romance. But you only live once, might as well get to know the lovely young lady. Not just about anyone strikes a chord with him, so potentially requited love with someone he actually likes is rare.

Your heart was basically leaping with joy, doing its little happy dance. Did he just request for your presence? You weren't sure if the universe planned for this to happen, or all of this was just a product of your imagination. Screw that, you didn't care anymore. Reality or not, you just wanted to spend time with the addictively fetching man.

Time flew by quickly. Oh how you mentally prayed that the clock would stop ticking, time staying still. Nonetheless, lunch break was well-spent. Erwin and you got to know more about each other, exchanging a thing or two about one another. All forms of formalities were thrown out the window as both of you just had a heart-to-heart talk.

Without warning, the door harshly opened, a certain short captain making an entrance.

"Oi, I've been searching for you."

You sighed, not wanting to part from Erwin, yet you knew there were duties that needed your attention. "Oh yeah, I forgot to keep track of time. Silly me." You stood up, collected the silverware, and bid the taller man farewell.

Right before you exit the room, "(Y/N), thank you for putting my well-being into account, and for the concentrated happiness on a plate." Erwin's sweet voice was music to your ears.

You were about to respond, however Levi beat you to it. "He likes you, y'know? Been talking to me about it because he doesn't have the balls to approach you and tell you himself."

"Goodness gracious Levi, where is the solidarity after years of knowing each other?" The commander playfully putting his hand on his chest, feigning betrayal.

A/N: I love this request! It was such a cute idea. I hope you enjoyed it :)

[ Masterlist ]

[kirah69]

Better Than New

Nogitsune/Stiles + pre-Steter + pre...

Summary: The nogitsune gave her a new body, but it wasn't like her old body. He had given her a parting gift.

Warnings: trans mtf character (Stiles), nogitsune, some angst, happy/open ending, Peter provides.

Words: 3510

[AO3 link]

The bandages kept piling up on the floor, damp with saliva. There was silence save for Stiles gasps and retching. When the end of the bandage fell to the floor, for a second or even less it felt like it was all over at last. An instant of relief until black smoke billowed from the bandages and something inside began to move. Everyone went on alert. What else could happen now?

A head began to emerge, pale skin with deep dark circles and long black hair. It was like seeing the girl from The Ring coming out of the television. Several weapons were pointed at her, everyone's attention focused on the stranger. Her brown eyes looked up, tearful and terrified, tired, pleading and confused. Someone recognized her and called her name. The wariness turned to worry and confusion. They stopped retreating and approached her. They helped her out of the bandages, asking all once if she was okay, what had happened, what was going on, in an almost unrecognizable cacophony.

When they remembered the other Stiles and looked around them, he was gone. Lydia too. Chaos broke out again. They all ran after the nogitsune and his new hostage, and only Melissa was left looking after her. Stiles couldn't move, she was exhausted both physically and mentally. Her body felt so strange and her mind felt half empty. She didn't know how she felt at that moment about anything, she didn't even have the energy to think about it.

“Honey.” Melissa put down the glass of milk that Stiles just drank on the nightstand. She twisted her hands in her lap as if she was gathering the courage for something. “What has... happened?” she asked in a whisper.

Stiles turned her head toward the wall. She didn't know what to answer, she still hadn't assimilated it. Melissa didn't ask any more.

As soon as she could get up, Stiles went home and locked herself in her room. She couldn't do anything now. They knew how to kill the nogitsune, and Stiles wouldn't be of any help to them, much less in the state she was in. She didn't even dare to look at herself in the mirror, maybe out of fear that it was just a dream or maybe that it was real. She covered herself with a thick sweatshirt and tied her hair in a ponytail with one of the threads she used for the crime board, tucking the end inside the sweatshirt.

Noah barely noticed in the darkness of the room when he visited to check on her. It was hard to notice the changes in the barely ten seconds he was there before going back to work. They still had a demon to catch.

When Stiles got a message saying they were done with the nogitsune, it wasn't relief that she felt, but she did allow herself to finally worry about what had happened to her. She pulled on the hood of her sweatshirt and headed to the loft in her jeep. She almost had an accident because she couldn't stop looking at herself in the rearview mirror. Her heart was beating so hard it was almost pounding in her ears, and she couldn't keep her hands still on the wheel. She was going to show it to someone, she was going to talk to someone about it for the first time, although she didn't know with whom. She wasn't sure who would be in the loft, although she could imagine it.

Stiles jumped out of the jeep as soon as she parked because she was afraid that if she thought about it, she would regret it and go home. Her body vibrated as she took the elevator up. (She had thought about going up the stairs, but she would have no air left when she got there.) She nervously adjusted her hood for a moment in front of the loft door. When she opened it, the only one there was Peter. He was the only one she really needed to see, so it was no problem.

“Stiles, what a surprise to see you here. I thought you'd be celebrating with your friends.” Peter barely looked up from his tablet for a second and went on with whatever he was doing.

“I don't think there's anything to celebrate,” she muttered, though the wolf could hear her perfectly. “Anyway, I wanted to talk to you.”

That seemed to pique his interest.

“About what?” he asked, lowering the tablet.

Stiles took off her hood. She kept her gaze on the ground. At first, she didn't hear anything and then there was movement on the couch.

“I admit I thought my imagination had played a trick on me, but it was real,” he commented with curiosity in his voice.

Stiles shrugged. Yes, it was real, what could she say?

“Why?”

Stiles looked up. The wolf was in front of her, looking her up and down with interest. She was ready to answer, she expected that question from Peter, but his gaze made her nervous.

“A gift. He said it was a gift for having used my body. Not that it makes up for it, but I admit he's been very considerate,” she commented almost to herself.

“I suppose then you're not looking for a way to undo it.”

She was so grateful that he didn't say the obvious, she could almost cry.

“No, I just want to make sure there'll be no side effects and that... it'll be permanent.”

She was so afraid that it was not permanent, that she would blink and it would disappear, that she didn't dare to enjoy it. She was living a dream, not even in her wildest fantasies had she imagined such a thing, and she was terrified.

“I'm pretty sure it's permanent, and from what you say, it doesn't sound like it's a trap. Although I can't be sure of that, he's a nogitsune after all.”

“It's not a trap, I know that,” she answered confidently.

“You know?” he asked, arching an eyebrow.

“I do know. He was in my mind and I was in his. He knows me as well as I know him. It wasn't a lie, I'm just afraid that now that they've killed him, his magic or whatever created this will disappear,” she explained, unable to control that edge of panic in her voice.

��We can investigate it. It'll be difficult to find anything specific about the nogitsune, though. But I think his magic is powerful enough to make it permanent,” Peter assured her with conviction. “Besides, he's not quite dead either, he's just trapped again.”

This time it was Stiles who looked at him in surprise.

“Trapped? They said...” She breathed a sigh of relief for the first time and most of the tension in her body melted away. Her shoulders relaxed and her legs nearly gave out. She dropped onto the couch and threw her head back. “I know I shouldn't be happy, but... it's...”

“You don't have to give any explanation about how you feel. Only you were there. Only you, and the nogitsune, know what happened in your head. You have the right to feel how you feel.”

Stiles raised her head somewhat surprised and didn't expect the soft smile on his face or the intense way he was looking at her.

“What?” she asked when Peter didn't stop looking at her, almost as if he wanted to pounce on her.

“Those clothes are pretty... terrible for a brand-new body. You should get something more appropriate.”

“Hey! These are my usual clothes!” she exclaimed a little offended.

“I know,” he replied almost as if it hurt.

Stiles blushed and twisted the hem of the sweatshirt in her hands.

“Um... You're... you're the only one who knows. I was hiding it until... well, until I knew it was permanent,” she explained a little nervously.

“All the more reason, this way you can make the big reveal looking your best. Or like this if that's what you prefer, but you can choose.”

“I-I don't have money for-.”

“My treat. Let's go.”

Peter grabbed his jacket and headed for the door. When he just walked away without stopping, Stiles got up in a hurry and ran after him. It was a bit strange having Peter riding shotgun in his car (she wondered how he used to move around the town, she had never seen his car, if he had one), although it was not the first time she had a Hale in her jeep.

The wolf glanced at her as she passed the Beacon Hills mall exit and continued into the neighboring town, but he said nothing. She was not yet ready to meet someone she knew with her new look. She hadn't even thought of an excuse for her sudden change, there was no treatment that would achieve such a radical change in such a short time.

Stiles stopped the car near the entrance to the mall. It was a weekday, so luckily there weren't too many people. She had no time to hesitate because Peter immediately got out of the car and headed for the doors. She used the wolf almost as a shield as they advanced, and Peter led her to the most expensive store in the entire mall. Just looking at the prices made her feel dizzy and somewhat uncomfortable, she shouldn't be in a place like that.

“We could go to...”

“It's my money, and I plan to spend it well,” he replied, almost reading her mind. “Now take your time, I'm in no rush. If you want advice, I'll be in the sitting area.”

Stiles had thought that he would stay by her side telling her what would fit her best, what was most appropriate, what matched and all that, but it made her feel good that Peter stayed in the sitting area and let her choose her own clothes.

After choosing a pair of jeans and a T-shirt, Stiles thought she had finished the purchase, but Peter motioned for her to continue without even taking his eyes off his cell phone. After trying on several sizes to find hers, she ended up with three pants and five T-shirts, all of which were not very different from her usual clothes, but fitted to her new body (she liked her style and that wasn't going to change). She wanted to buy a skirt or a dress, but there she was completely lost.

“Do you need help?” Peter appeared behind her suddenly, and Stiles jumped.

“I'm going to put a bell on you,” she murmured. She was holding two dresses in her hands, but she couldn't make up her mind, she didn't even know if she liked either of them. “I have no idea about dresses, I've never... I didn't dare to...”

Peter took both dresses and put them back on the rack. He circled the racks a few times and came back with a dress that left her speechless. The body was black with a V-neck and a diagonal cut at the hip, with four white buttons on the left. The sleeves from elbow to wrist, a patch on the chest and the two-layered ruffled skirt were made of a white, red and black plaid fabric. It had enough plaid to fit her style and not too much to put Peter off. It was modern, casual, discreet (maybe in the future she would try something flashier, but not at the moment), she loved it. She looked at the label and it was just her size, which was surprising because she hadn't told him.

She went into the dressing room and when she came out, Peter was sitting there, like in one of those movie scenes where women tried on dress after dress and came out to show it off like it was a runway (they made it look super fun, but it was exhausting to try on clothes). Peter looked at her with an expression that made her blush. His eyes almost seemed to glow.

“Beautiful...” he murmured.

The blush on her cheeks became brighter, and she hurried back to the dressing room. Had Peter looked at her like this before? Was it because of her new body? Or did she realize it now because she was more aware of her body? Stiles would have to ask him directly if she wanted to find out, but she was not yet ready for the answer.

The total price was too much, but Peter didn't even blink, and Stiles didn't bother to say anything because the wolf wouldn't listen.

“Um, the entrance is on the other side,” she informed him as Peter headed in the opposite direction.

“Hairdresser first. That hair shouldn't be in a ponytail.”

Stiles frowned and touched her head wondering what he meant.

When the hairdresser asked her what she wanted, Stiles went blank.

“Just fix it,” Peter replied instead and turned to Stiles. “You'll have time to do whatever you want, but at least it has to be fixed. That guy doesn't know anything about haircuts.” He was talking about the nogitsune.

Stiles smiled and nodded.

The stylist offered to do her eyebrows and do some makeup, and Stiles agreed. Maybe she shouldn't say it herself, but the result looked pretty good. The hair with more volume still with her somewhat disheveled style, the eyeliner and some gloss on the lips. She looked at herself in the mirror and liked what she saw. For the first time she really liked herself.

This time she saw the wolf approaching in the mirror. Peter placed a hand on her back and looked at her reflection approvingly.

“You won't need the bite to become the most popular girl in the school,” he whispered almost in her ear.

This time she not only felt it but saw the blush blossom on her cheeks in the mirror. She snorted and turned around, she didn't want to keep seeing that silly expression she made with Peter around.

“I'm not unpopular because of my looks, I'm unpopular because of my personality, and that hasn't changed.”

Peter shrugged.

“Their loss.”

Stiles didn't know exactly what was that alleged loss, but she appreciated the encouragement.

She drove back to the loft and really meant to leave Peter there and go home, but she couldn't. She didn't know if her father would be there, she couldn't see him yet. What could she tell him? How was she going to explain this to him? What would he think of her? What would the others think? How was she going to tell them? What if they thought it was just a curse? What if they wanted to “help” her undo it?

“Stiles,” Peter called out to her, and it might not be the first time. Stiles lifted her head and stopped holding the wheel as if her life depended on it. “Do you want to go up?”

Stiles nodded. The wolf must have smelled her panic. She would be stinking at that time.

She took a deep breath and when his breathing returned to a more or less normal rhythm, she got out of the jeep. Peter took the bags (it was not an area to leave anything in the car) and accompanied her. When Stiles opened the loft door, the wolf dropped the bags and pulled out his claws, but before he could stop her, before the growl even left his lips, Stiles lunged at the figure in the middle of the loft that resembled her old appearance.

She wrapped her arms around his shoulders and hugged him with all her might. She was so happy that she couldn't hold back and began to cry. Her legs were shaking and Kuro held her as his lips pressed against her hair.

“Shh, I'm here, Mi-chan,” he whispered, stroking her back.

“I thought they'd killed you and then that you were trapped again,” she murmured against his shoulder without letting go of him.

“Please, they were very foolish to think that they could just trap me in a wooden box after absorbing so much magic. They really only know how to underestimate others.”

He lifted Stiles' face with one hand and gave her a tender kiss. Stiles sighed and smiled.

“I'm glad you're back. Oh.” Stiles remembered then that they weren't alone (as they were always in her mind). Peter was looking at them with his mouth parted and a shocked expression. It sure had to be weird if it had managed to surprise the wolf. “Um, Peter, this is Kuro, the nogitsune, and... well... he's not as bad as you think. There are many things that you guys don't know and many lies that Noshiko told you.”

She was doing it unconsciously, but she had placed herself between Kuro and Peter in a protective gesture. He didn't expect Peter to attack without further ado, without questions and without thinking. Others could, but not him. Still, she had already lost Kuro once and was afraid it would happen again.

Peter put his claws away and relaxed, at least on the surface. He approached with slow steps, trying not to look threatening, more for Stiles than for Kuro.

“Given Stiles' reaction, I'll say I'm glad to see you again in better circumstances,” he told Kuro with a polite smile.

“The smart boy. You have chosen well,” he told Stiles, nuzzling his cheek.

“Uh, I-I haven't...” she stammered nervously. She wasn't sure what he meant, but Kuro knew her mind better than anyone and more than once they had talked about Peter. She just hoped Kuro didn't say anything he shouldn't.

“Why are you wearing these clothes? Now you have boobs, I thought you'd want to show them off.”

“I don't want to show-. Ugh, we just came from buying clothes to... show off my new body.” It was useless to argue with someone who had been in her mind, much less Kuro.

“Great! Put it on, I want to see you,” he said almost like an excited child.

Stiles looked at him with narrowed eyes and a frown. She turned towards him a little without removing the arm that he still had around her shoulders.

“I can't just go around looking like this, people know me as a boy, they won't understand that now I'm suddenly a girl. There's no treatment that will achieve this overnight,” it sounded kind of desperate, and she felt like that. She still couldn't think of anything to explain this.

“Oh yeah, sometimes I forget,” Kuro muttered.

“What?” Stiles asked, eyeing him suspiciously.

“Human ignorance. But don't worry.” He pulled her close with his arm and gave her a long kiss. Stiles could feel the magic flow through her body. That feeling was no longer alien to her. “Done,” Kuro said with a satisfied smile when he pulled away.

“What did you do?” Stiles asked confused. She looked at her body, but she didn't see anything different, nor did she feel different.

“No one is going to question that you're a girl, for them you always have been a girl,” he answered with complete confidence. Stiles looked at Peter, but Peter shook his head. “It doesn't work with him, I figured you wouldn't mind. I can change it if you want?”

“No, no, it's fine.” She didn't care if it was Peter, he had reacted much better than she would expect from anyone.

“Then come on, it's about time for you to be yourself,” he told her.

Kuro shoved her toward the bags that were still on the floor and approached the wolf faster than Peter could react. He tried to control himself, but couldn't help the tension in his body when Kuro put an arm around his shoulders.

“And why don't you cook dinner for us in the meantime, little wolf?” Kuro asked or almost ordered him with his face very close to his, his breath brushing against his lips.

He looked like Stiles, like the old Stiles, but he didn't smell like her, he didn't speak like her, he didn't feel like her. It wasn't difficult in his mind to tell apart this Stiles from the real one.

“Kuro!” Stiles scolded him when he was about to kiss Peter.

Kuro grinned with sharp teeth without pulling away from the wolf.

“Of course, it'll be my pleasure,” replied the wolf.

It was Peter who gave him a kiss and left without letting him react. Stiles gaped looking behind the wolf and Kuro threw himself on her back, wrapping his arms around her.

“We're going to have so much fun, Mi-chan,” he whispered in her ear.

Maybe, at least Peter seemed willing.

* END? *

Ok, I may continue this fanfic, but that'd be after the one I'm working on. But I don't promise anything. Even so, I accept ideas for a future new chapter.

For the @transbingo : Coming out

[ahsxual]

My Personal Teddy Bear

Pairing: Phoenix!Joker x Reader

Genre: Fluff

Request: "Heyyy !! Love your writing ! :D If it's okay for you, can you please write a headcanon with Joker 2019 and a very romantic reader who loves fluffy things ? Thank you !! <3"

Word Count: 1,9k

A/N: Thank you so much for requesting this my dear @arthurjokersgirl!! I'm really happy to know that you like my writing 🥺🥺 It means so much to me!! And I'm so sorry for taking so long, but I had a few problems in writing this fic (tumblr didn't save it, so I had to write it all over again). Anyway, I hope you enjoy this fic I made for you <33

(I don't own this image!!! If you own it, please message me and I'll give you the deserved credits)

When you and Arthur met, both of you were surprised by the amount of things that you had in common.

You two are so kind, so good-hearted, so romantic and dedicated to your partner and everything you do... and if there's something that manages to put a cute and melting smile on your faces, is when you receive, especially when it’s from one another, fluffy objects, such as teddy bears, flowers, romantic CD's, love letters... anything that involves and expresses the love you have for each other.

Whenever you idealized a relationship or whenever someone asked you to describe the "perfect man", the answer was always the same: a romantic, caring, generous and cute guy who would do anything for his girlfriend, promising to love her for all eternity.

Once other people heard your answer, they would say you were just being childish, that those types of guys weren't real and that you had to live in the real world, not some kind of princess movie, waiting for your prince to rescue and fulfill your heart with all the love he could muster... what they didn't know, was that your prince was destined to meet you the moment you were welcomed into this world.

You couldn't imagine being with anybody else: ever since you shared your first words with Arthur, you knew deep inside that he was the one for you, the love of your life, your charming prince... and as if he hasn’t told you yet, he felt exactly the same, you were his one and only that he had been waiting for so long all his lonely life.

Your chemistry was unique: you were so in love, so committed to your relationship, that you were sure that you would spend the rest of your lifes with each other. Death wasn’t able to break your chain, it was stronger that anything else in the universe. Once you had finally perished, you would marry each other as many times as you needed, twice, thrice, billions of times if it were needed. 

Arthur sees you as a sweet, gorgeous flower, being utterly different from the others by its unique beauty. He doesn’t have eyes for any other flower: you're the only one he has eyes for and feels pure love for: he even compared himself to the Little Prince, and you were the only flower in his world, yet perfect and outstanding.

He loved the fact that you were as romantic as him, because that made him feel more secure and sure of yourself. Even the little things would put your eyes in tears and make your smile grow until your red cheeks started to hurt because of his sweet gestures.

Your favorite hobbie is, after getting from a tired and exhausted day of work, laying in each other's arms on the spacious sofa while watching romantic movies or comedies to brighten your mood, covered in blankets while sharing a cup of hot tea because of the frosty cold winter.

You loved everything about Arthur and your relationship with him: it was all about trust, support, love, dedication, comprehension and understanding. He was your best friend, and you were his.

Every month he would save some extra money to buy you a present, sometimes even starving himself for days just to have enough money to buy you the most expensive gift he could afford. But of course that once you knew about this you immediately stopped him, not admitting him to do such silliness no matter how good his intentions were.

But what he didn't know, was that you were willing to play the same game: without him realizing it, you saved some cash every month as well (without starving yourself, of course), to buy tickets for a romantic movie that would debut in the cinemas.

You were so happy about it, to finally give Arthur what he deserves and to take him where he has always wanted to go since he was a little kid. But this time, he would see a romantic movie with you, giving you both an opportunity to have a decent date for you to enjoy.

You couldn't wait to see your lover's face once he knows he'd go to cinema for the very first time with the love of his life, with his one and only... with you.

On the other hand, Arthur was thinking exactly the same thing, since he had been saving some cash to give you a surprise, imagining your reaction after he had offered his gift that would mark and change your lives forever, while increasing your pure love even more, if that was even possible.

One day you went to grab your hidden piggy bank with more money to save, only to count it right after. Once you had counted it and saw that you had enough, you instantly jumped and giggled from the sheer happiness around your shared room. You made so much noise, that even Arthur who was in the living room, knocked gently on the door to make sure you were fine.

Today was the day where you finally could show your gift to him: you told him that he needed to hurry up and dress something nice, because you were going to an amazing place. He wanted to know what your plans were so bad, but he knew it was useless since you wouldn't tell him until you had arrived to the "misterious place".

Once you had arrived and had gotten out safely from the bus, you told your boyfriend to close his gorgeous ocean eyes.

"You can open them now, love." you gently said with the two tickets held in your hand, while being right in front of the cinema so he could understand your intentions.

He was immediatly dumb-founded as soon as he understood what you meant. "Y-you... you want me to go to the cinema with... with you?" his eyes started to become moist with each second that passed, and you only had time to embrace him in your eyes while assuring him that this was real, that this was really happening.

"It's ok love, it's good to let our emotions out when we need to. I'm right here if you need anything. We will have so much fun! And you know that we deserve this, it will be good for us and our relationship, right?" you look into his eyes and could see that a few tears managed to slide down from his red and cold cheeks. He was definitely crying, but from happiness, something that he never thought was possible: he could only relate tears to sadness, however you managed to prove him that the opposite was possible as well. That's what he loved about you: even having been through a lot and felt so many things from his entire life, he would always learn something new about you, him and others from you.

"I can't even thank you enough for all you have done for me, honey... If I could only retribute half that you have done for me... I would be the happiest man for seeing his future wife happy as well." you were smiling from ear to ear, but once he said the words that you always dreamed to hear from him, "future wife", you had to hold your tears back from falling down your now stunned face.

You were too distracted, or should I say too concentrated on your lover, that you didn't realize that the movie was about to start.

Once you entered the cinema room, both of you were amazed by the view: the red seats were all over the place and were very organized; the movie screen was giant, the perfect size to enjoy your movie; the background was simple, yet exquisite, giving you a sudden feeling of luxury, however you didn't care that much if you were honest. As long as you were by Arthur's side, that's all that matters, because your love is the most luxurious thing in this world.

That night was the one you've always dreamed of: you stayed close to each other while grabbing your hands firmly, yet gently, like you were terrified of someone taking the other away from yourselves; the movie contained a lot of romance, which illuminated your hearts more than the brightest stars. You could even relate yourselves to the lovely couple on the screen, which made you both smile the entire time, changing glances with each other with the most passionate stare. This made Arthur think about what he had planned for you for a long time, more specifically from the moment you shared your first kiss, because since then, he instantly knew you were the one.

It made him feel a little bit, not to say extremely, nervous as well, and when the movie ended, you thought it was necessary to ask if he was ok or if he just didn't like the movie.

"N-no! Of course I liked the movie, I actually loved it. I couldn't imagine any other date more perfect than the one you planned for us... thank you once again, it means so, so much to me, sweetheart..." he admitted, making you feel more relaxed. However, he seemed like he was hiding something else, like he had something on his mind that he couldn't let out. But then he smiled at you while grabbing your hand softly, and from that moment you knew that he was about to tell you what was stuck on his mind since he left home.

You walked out of the cinema and went outside, where you instantly felt your body shivering from the cold of the late night of Gotham... but your boyfriend made sure to warm and melt your heart in an instant.

You saw Arthur overthinking and trembling a little, and when you were about to ask him if he was cold too and wanted you to warm him up, he kneeled on the rigid ground and took a small box of your favorite color from his back pocket.

You had an idea of what was coming, yet you couldn't believe that that was what was really going to happen.

"My sweet precious, kind, and beautiful love, would you... would you l-like to ah.. m-marry me...?" his eyes seemed like they belonged to a baby puppy that was asking for affection or his favorite treat, but in this case he was asking you for being his wife... Is this a dream??

You immediately felt your eyes burning and becoming wet by the few rebellious tears that managed to escape from your lovely stare. Your hands were now in front of your gaping mouth, and you couldn't feel cold anymore. The only thing you felt in that moment, was an enormous wave of warm love that you couldn't help, but you let yourself drown.

It was at this moment that all your insecurities and fears that were related to your mutual love, were permanently defeated. Now you knew there was nothing nor anyone that would tear you apart... and you had so many goals yet to achieve as a couple.

[theravencawsatmidnight]

Part Two

W! Drinking, stabby stab, attempted Non C but it does not happen .

Touya,21.The drunk Future King whose only interest is whores and brothels

Natsuo.18. The Middle Sibling who is just like his father

Shoto.16.the youngest and most reserved, has no interest in marriage but would like a companion

Reader is a rebellious princess in a falling Kingdom and is sent off to live with the Todorokis in hopes of marriage to save her family. But Reader has other plans in mind.

tags/ @no-post-ghost @yoonbbyboy @pinkjellychan @squeaky-ducky​

You wasted no time ditching the family for the courtyard after dashing out of the carriage and right past Enji, you were over Natsuo and his creepy behaviour and over this whole arrangement.  With a groan you stopped next to some trees and slipped between two large oaks to conceal yourself for a minute. You sat down hugging your knees panting slightly. It was a pretty courtyard, full of flowers funny enough since only men seemed to lived in this rotten castle. 

 So what now? The King would not be happy at your actions but if he tried to hurt you it would hinder his plans for his precious sons. So you were safe for the most part. The oldest, Touya did not really seem interested in courting you anyway, to focused on his drinking and keeping his brother in line.  

 The thought of Natsuo made you gag and cough a bit, what an awful person and he's gonna be King eventually? Maybe you could cut his balls off to save whoever marries him.  Sighing you relaxed against the tree letting one leg down admiring the clouds that rolled on by, the sky seemed more blue here than at your Kingdom too you, weird. 

 “Uhm…?” said a voice, it sounded skittish.

You rolled your head to the left to see a boy about Shotos age looking at you, he had royal clothes on and had crazy green hair. You tilted your head at this boy and brought your legs down so you were criss cross. 

 “Yes?” you asked curiously

“Is Shoto around?”

“I think so , the main entrance.”

“O-oh uh, okay, i can wait here then. May i sit by you? My names Izuku of Midoriya Manor”

“Sure kid,” you scooted over a bit for him to join you.”Y/n of Alastar”

“Oh thanks !” he sat by you but seemed to be looking around

“Something on your mind?”

“Oh uh n-no, im just waiting for Shoto, his father does not a-aprove of me so we have too …” he trailed off rubbing the back of his head.

“Hm? Well your safe with me kid, i doubt that big ape approves of me too.”

“Are you to be wed?”

“Sadly.”

“Uh- uhm!,” he rubbed his hands together. “You seem really cool and can protect yourself..” he told you, pointing to the knife on your person. “Just watch out for the middle sibling okay?”

You got up patting your butt free of dirt and Shoto squeezed through the trees to see you and Izuku.  Shoto hugged Izuku and the two sighed with relief to see each other. 

“y/n. Touya wants to see you to show you around, hes at the stables, around the corner from here”

“Okay Shoto, izuku was waiting for you, i never saw him though.”

 The youngest gave you a gentle smile and a nod as thanks. 

**

Squeezing back through the trees you strolled around the courtyard admiring the flowers before meeting up with Touya. No sign of the King or his creepy son , the courtyard had a large apple tree in its center but it only had one apple on it and it looked to be rotten which was weird. It's definitely apple season. Hm.  thinking nothing of it you made your way around the large castle to see the stables and Touya petting a large black and white mare of the face in long strokes.

“Whos a pretty girl ? you you you” he cooed at the sleepy horse.

“Dont take you for a animal lover” you joked walking up to him. “Wheres idiot 1 and 2?”

“My father is giving Natsuo a talking to so im trusted to show you around” he pointed to the castle “thats the castle” he pointed to a stray window at the top “thats your room”

“A five star tour i see”  you pet the horse admiring its coat. “ lovely colors”

“Reminds me of my life from before” he told you while taking out his flask to drink.

“Hm? Whats that mean? And whos this Izuku that was sneaking around?”

Touya sat down in a empty stable drinking more before answering you. “Thats Shotos boyfriend, dont tell anyone or i will kill you myself. Im the only one who knows”

“i wouldn't do that Touya, he said Enji does not approve of him?”

“Yep” he fell into some hay drinking more. “They want to leave when they turn 18 and have a farm, im helping make it happen”

You sat down by the hay watching this man drink his life away , he had not one care in the world, unless it was Shoto related. 

*

Some time passed and you and Touya were sharing the flask now.

“So .. what did you mean by your life from before?”

“Mmmm… i was going to be a father, at least.. Thats what i was told.” he sat up pushing his hair outta his face. She was a brothel worker and i had gotten her pregnant.” 

 You listened to him taking note of the hint of sadness in his voice.

“I was excited, i wanted to be a dad.” he told you looking over at the horse.”she had black and white hair, i called her my little… berry.., i did everything right, i told her she could live with me and be a Princess and we could be happy. But i also told her i did not want her working the brothel anymore obviously,” 

  He brought his knees up laying his elbows over them looking at the ground between his legs. “She told me she would stop but something felt weird so i checked on her and she was still working it. I confronted her and she said she needed the money for the baby and i told her i have more money than i know what to do with, the months went on and she eventually stopped, her bump was small and everytime i felt it , i dont know. It felt off. One day i woke up early and looked over at her, she was asleep on her stomach and .. she was too far align to be doing that.” he looked up at you, his eyes slightly red. “ she lied to me, for my status, my wealth, my name, it was some kind of material to seem like a bump, she tried to tell me it was my fault.”

“Touya…”

He ignored you. “What she said stung more than the faked pregnancy. I had to know, for sure. So i contacted a witch and she performed some kind of spell on me and ..and..”

You moved closer, placing your hand on his arm , he took a big drink and lowered his head again. “ i cant… have children… “

You pulled this man into your arms trying your best to comfort him. He just cursed up a storm and told you how excited he was, how he was going to move away as soon as Shoto left with izuku and start an even bigger family with the woman he loved. Touya wanted his own Kingdom but in a quiet place no one knew about where he could be happy.

“Everyday… i curse Natsuo, he does not deserve to have children” he pushed himself off you to wipe his eyes. “ no one knows this about me y/n”

“Touya its safe with me”

“I have no interest in getting married anymore, i dont care.”

“Thats perfectly okay Touya”

He sniffled not looking at you. “Thank you for listening, you should get settled into your room, top floor last door on the left.”

“Youll be okay?” you asked, getting up

“Nope” he got up walking past you “but thats just how i like it” he waved not looking back as he headed into town.

*

The castle was full of expensive things: statues, paintings, rugs, swords. Anything you could think of. Big wide open rooms with ceilings higher than you had ever seen. It smelled like the kitchen was to your right and the main rooms looked to be up the rug covered stairs. You could hear Enji yelling at Natsuo when you got to the top , you snuck by peeking in every room you passed, looked like bedrooms. You heard a door slam and looked over your shoulder to see Natsuo brooding outside the door talking to himself. 

   You slipped into your room and scanned around the giant room, pretty bed, too girly honestly. A wooden vanity with glass in it and a couple windows. You checked outside them all , dammit. Nothing to really grab on to for a quick escape? You thought on it inspecting more and suddenly you were grabbed from behind and flipped over and pressed against the window, your hair blowing in the wind. 

 Natsuo was pinning you down looking very angry with you. You stuck your chin out at him reaching down for you knife.

“Yes ? your highness?” “I should … should… “ he pressed harder into your shoulders. “You . so mean, you made a fool of .. of me? In front of my father? I ?” his gaze dropped and he grabbed the knife tossing it out the window . his voice got louder and he shook you. “ they tell me i should kill you !! but!! My voices arent always!!.. Correct so …”

“Let me go !! get these gross hands off me !” you fought his grip and he threw you onto the bed pinning you from behind. “ why are you so … SO SO difficult? Im a future KING im in CHARGE not YOU” he reached back fussing with his belt and you got very still.

“Is that why your upset hm? I hurt your ego?” you asked looking back”pitty” with a quick snap of your arm a second knife shot out of your left sleeve and stabbed Natsuo in the arm. He cried out falling back and you pushed him out fo your room. “Sorry, no middle siblings allowed” you slammed the door locking it and pushing some heavy furniture in front of the door for the time being. 

 You could hear Natsuo crying in pain in the hall but you did not really care, it sounded like he was walking away and you finally… finally..alone. You sunk down to your knees” what the fuck man…”

*

[realmeisstuff]

The Craziest Thing I Did For Seventeen

I like planning things.

Ever since Ideal Cut and missing the chance to see them in 2018, I've been thinking of ways to fulfill my fangirl dreams without sacrificing my responsibility as a daughter and sister, and also my goals as a nurse.

Working in a private hospital doesn't give you lots of extra money for fangirling. My regular salary could only cover my daily expenses plus contributions for my family needs, so I could only save for my most awaited unannounced Seventeen concert by doing overtime, not using my holiday pay and saving my night differentials, plus super tight budgeting.

It took two years for them to finally announce "Ode to You" world tour. And this time, I'm planning on turning my plans into action.

But before that, I had to find ways to ensure that everything would go smoothly: first, is to arrange my schedule, second is to prove my parents that Seventeen is my drive towards success and not a distraction (because it it necessary for me to get their approval and I don't want them to think that I'm choosing Seventeen over practicality), and three, take my sister with me, because she's the reason why I saw them in the first place, now it's my turn to bring her to them. It's about time that I return the favor by chasing our happiness together.

Maktub.

The first one was resolved probably due to luck that I never knew I had.

Since I've already become a regular employee, I was entitled for an annual vacation, but my schedule was December 2019, while the concert was set on February 2020. I went to my nursing manager and asked if my vacation could be moved to February, but she said that it wouldn't be possible, since the date is fixed. But when she tried to check the schedule in the HR, conflict arised since 4 of us in the ICU department, have the same schedule, and due to under staffing, they needed to arrange it. I volunteered for my schedule to be moved to a later date and so February 1-15 was given to me as my vacation leave.

Lucky, right?

In my excitement, I already booked for the flight and hotel, a crazy impulsive decision that could only be paired with prayers, in hope that it would go the way I plan it to. (But in my defense I had to do it, because it's much cheaper if you booked it earlier than later)

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The second one was a challenge. How could I convince my parents that I know what to prioritize and that choosing Seventeen isn't impractical? The only answer I could find was to take the english proficiency exam that I was supposed to take 2 years ago, but doesn't have the guts to do it. I've already saved for the exam, but I always come up with excuses (or actually somewhat true) that I don't have time to study due to my work schedule.

But this time for Seventeen (and my nursing career), I'm willing to take a chance (although my non-risk taker self is shaking with anxiety).

It was late in November when I decided to book my exam, I was hoping to take it by December, but maybe God knows I'm still not prepared since I haven't studied intensively yet, that there was a conflict of schedule. My coworker already booked December, and since we're on the same shift, we must not be on leave at the same time. So, I booked the next available schedule, which is January, at least I still have a month to study for the test.

During night shifts, if I don't have anyhing to do, I would practice my writing, then on weekends I would practice my reading and listening. Everyday after duty, I would only sleep for about 6-7 hours, so that I could wake up then practice my speaking for 1-2 hours before my next shift.

Four days before my exam, I had to ask permission to be on leave, so that I could camp out at the site and buy my desired ticket. I had to study while waiting in line. Despite the long hours of waiting, I am determined and excited to finally buy my concert tickets. It also helped that Carats surrounded me, and I felt that I've really found my place. We met our mutuals, and chatted with our co-fans. It was a very memorable moment for me.

January 16,2020. Boo Seungkwan's Birthday and also the day of the exam. I was so nervous, and to calm my nerves, I silently prayed to God for guidance, I joked that "God if only the examiner would ask me about my favorite music, I would be sure that I could pass this exam, because I could talk about Seventeen all day". In my surprise, it was the first question for the first part of the exam. And that's when I knew that where God guides, he provides.

I believe that the universe is conspiring to help me achieve what I truly wanted the most. I passed the test with flying colors, and it helped me gain the approval of my mom to go to the concert.

But then 2020 strikes, and it seems that the pandora box was opened. Health threats due to the covid virus was rising, and everyone was worried that it would reach the country.

I knew the gravity of the situation, but I couldn't stop myself from wanting to go to the concert despite the fear. I started becoming desperate when most of the events were cancelled due to the pandemic.

I held onto that hope that God didn't let me achieve everything I did so far, just to break my heart. I already have the concert and plane tickets, and the hotel was already paid, but on top of all that, I didn't want to disappoint my sister, who wanted this so badly like I do, because after long years of waiting, she could finally have a chance to go home to Manila. Also, my friend, who has never been in any concerts (despite wanting to go), finally took the courage to do this for herself.

When Running Man announced the cancellation of their concert, which is one day after OTY. I couldn't help but cry. I feel like my world is falling apart. Without the fangirl side of me, I would just be my pessimistic, melancholic self who doesn't know how to have fun.

As if that's not bad news enough, due to the massive resignation in the Icu department, they had to rotate the ward staffs and place them in our department, and when they announced the name of the "new" Icu staffs, it feels like I've been struck by a lightning.

In my two years of working, I only had a conflict with two nurses from different departments: The girl who spread rumors about me and the senior nurse from my previous area who traumatized me during my junior days. So, how shocking was it that the newbies would be the both of them? I almost resigned right there and then.

But it only made my desire to go to the concert much stronger, because the only thing that could push me to work even in the most stressful environment with the most difficult co-workers would be Seventeen.

I felt so down as the days went nearer to the concert date. I felt that anytime they would announce the cancellation of the event, and I had to cancel everything I booked as well.

I wanted to tell myself that safety first, but the other side of me wanted to see them so badly...desperate even to risk and live presently without fear. I debated in my head that I would die faster working in the hospital rather than to a one-day concert.

I prayed to the Gods, even done some bargaining, so that we would all be safe to go to the concert. I would rather have toxic shifts with my toxic co-workers than to miss this concert. I was that desperate.

But Inang announced that the concert would push through.

*Insert happy tears and fangirl squeals*

I made the necessary preparations, so that I would ensure our safety. We brought n95 and surgical mask with us plus we take 1000 mg vitamin c everyday.

We encountered problems along the way such as the hotel canceling our reservation, even though I've already paid the downpayment, and heavy rains while searching for the hotel, but we made it.

We were able to sort out the problems, and enjoyed the day before the concert. We did some pilgrimage and went to Saem store where they did their fansigning event. We also stopped by their hotel, but just to look at the place.

On the day of the concert, we went inside the arena early, and was able to join the Carat activities. It was exhilarating to be on the same area as Seventeen, and I felt so ecstatic like I'm in cloud nine.

Although me and my friends were separated by barricade while we're looking for coffee, we still had a great time chatting with others.

Finally, we we're allowed to go inside and find our VIP seats. I was so overwhelmed, because of how close it was to the stage as compared to my previous lower box experience, that I couldn't stop from shedding happy tears. My sister was in awe, and I held onto her as I calm myself.

This is the moment I've been waiting for. Not only these past 2 years, but I think that I needed this for my whole life.

I cried once again after the concert. I was so happy. I've never been this happy in my life. Everything was worth it and I don't regret anything.

SepAnx was real, as me, my sister and my friend, cried during our flight back to the province. But despite the longing, we knew that February 8, 2020 will forever go down in the history as the perfect day when we were able to reached goals, and became the happiest fangirl in the universe.

Hopefully, we would be able to do this again when the world heals. And when that time comes, I hope we'll see them, all thirteen of them.