#if my dad would just do what he's always done (nothing) maybe my opinion on him would not be souring so fast

[drop--pop--candy]

it's getting harder and harder to not fucking loathe both of my parents

[lemotmo]

I want it to be Buck who brings Christopher home. I want him to be the one who goes to Texas. I want Buck to be the reason Chris and Eddie start talking again. I want Buck to convince Christopher to forgive his dad. I want Buck telling the Diaz parents off. I want Buck to be Eddie’s savior. Let Buck be the hero.

First of all Nonny, full disclosure: you have to be aware that you brought this ask to the blog of an Eddie stan, so I might be a little intense in my answer. No offence, but posts like these really make my hair stand on end.

Walk with me here…

There is a big difference between Buck wanting to help Eddie out, standing next to him to support him mentally and emotionally and Buck fighting Eddie’s battles for him.

The first one is healthy ‘best friends’ (or whatever Buddie really are 😏) behaviour. It’s okay to be there for someone in their hour of need. Sometimes that means helping them look for a new house and supporting them as they plan to move away from you, even if it hurts like nothing else has ever hurt before. That’s what you do as friends.

The second one is damaging and -quite frankly- insulting to everything that Eddie Diaz stands for. Let me explain:

Eddie is a guy who has lived under his parents’ critical eye for his entire life. No matter what he did, it was always met with scrutiny and criticism of the people that were supposed to guide him through the ups and downs, all while loving him unconditionally.

His father told him to step up as the man of the house when he was only 10 years old and when Eddie attempted to do just that by helping his mom in the wrong way, he failed in his parents’ eyes and they never quite looked at him the same way after that.

Ever since then Eddie hasn’t known a single moment of peace, whether he was living under his parents’ roof in El Paso or his own roof in LA. The looming cloud of judgement was never far away.

As a teenager, he accidentally got Shannon pregnant and -once again- he was told to step up and be a man. So he married her when they really weren’t ready. They had Christopher… again, when they both weren’t ready. Then he felt like he had to step up to provide for his wife and child, so he signed up for the army twice.

When he came back, Shannon left and he had to step up to be the ‘perfect’ father, which meant working three jobs to make sure Christopher had everything he needed.

Instead of meeting him with love and admiration (and maybe a little help) for his determination, his parents met all of his decisions and actions with disdain and disrespect, seeing him as a failure who was unable to take proper care of his own son. So they wanted to take him away from Eddie, convinced they could do a better job to raise Chris ‘properly’.

They seemed to see Eddie as a bad example of a man. An opinion that, seeing what happened later on in the show, didn’t really change for them. They simply didn’t think he would ever be capable of being a real man, a man like his father.

So on the one hand they told him to step up and be the man of the house, but when he finally did what they wanted him to do, they told him (and showed him in their actions) that he wasn’t doing it good enough.

And remember that Shannon left him three times, once when she went to her mother, once when she asked him for a divorce and finally when she died. All of this reinforced the idea in Eddie’s psyche that he was a complete and utter failure of a man. No doubt in my mind that, up to this day he can still sometimes hear his mom’s voice in his head telling him how big of a disappointment he is.

Then, the ultimate act of betrayal. In the end, when Chris saw him with Kim, his parents swooped in, made him feel guilty for something that was partly out of his control and -once again- made him feel not good enough to be Christopher’s father.

They could have done a number of things when Chris called them: they could have sat down with Chris over a Zoom call to talk to him and help him see that Eddie is only human and he makes mistakes once in a while, they could have helped Eddie to find a good way to communicate with Chris again, they could have offered to come to LA for a while to help them out… all of this offered with love and care.

Instead they walked into his house uninvited, manipulated them and convinced both Chris and Eddie that the boy would be better off with them in El Paso and on the same day took Chris away from the only parent he still has: a parent who would move the Earth for his son if it was needed. And Eddie let him go, because they had him fully convinced that he wasn’t good enough and he would be better off with his grandparents.

In a way his parents finally won. They finally successfully gaslit their own kid to believe he isn’t worthy being Chris’s dad. He isn’t a real man’s man so he doesn’t deserve to be Chris’s father.

And now Nonny… now here you are, in my ask box, telling me you want Buck to fight Eddie’s battles for him? Have you ever stopped to think what that would do to Eddie? Someone else swooping in, even under the best of intentions, once again taking away Eddie’s agency to take control of his own life? It would just make him feel even more inadequate, feeding the feeling of his own unworthiness.

This time it would hit even harder, because it would be Buck who would make him feel this way: the one guy who doesn’t judge him. The one guy who doesn’t need or want him to be anything more than he is. The one guy he trusts implicitly and who promised him to always have his back. The one guy that loves him without reserve. And subsequently, the one guy he loves without reserve.

So no Nonny.

No.

This is Eddie’s battle and he has to fight it, no hesitation, no negotiation. He needs to go to Texas, talk to his parents, telling them exactly where they went wrong and how that made him feel. Then he needs to talk to Chris, telling him he's sorry and that he regrets what happened, but he can't change it and it's time to move on.

Finally, he needs to tell Chris that they are going back home to LA, whether he wants to or not. Eddie is still the adult here and sometimes that means making the hard decisions for your kids, because you know in your heart that it's the right thing to do for both of you.

So ironically he needs to step up yes, but this time in a healthy way and for the right reasons. Not to prove to himself that he is a real man or some dumb macho sh*t like that, but to fall in love with himself again. To become the captain of his own fate. To realise that he is worthy of respect and happiness just like everybody else. To see that he is a good man and a great father.

Ultimately he needs to understand that just being Eddie Diaz is enough. He matters. Not just to other people, but to himself first and foremost.

This is the kind of storyline that would provide Eddie with so many wonderful opportunities to grow as a character and it would be so incredibly interesting to watch him go through all of this, to finally see him come out the other side with a new understanding of his own self-worth and how that affects himself and other people around him.

And yes, Buck will be there in some capacity throughout all of this. It’s hard to imagine him not being there for Eddie to be honest. He will be there, but not to fight his battles for him. He will be there to stand by and with him, maybe not physically, but certainly mentally and emotionally.

Buck will have Eddie's back and it will be enough.

[lyrenminth]

JB9 request

They are divorced and have two children together, and he is jealous that she is leaving the kids at his house so she can go on a date. but the meeting was horrible, because the guy is not like Joe

This was a very specific and I had so much fun writing in. A little bit of angst at the end.

What we used to be

The decision for filing the divorce was consciously taken. It was done three years ago, while you went to a rough patch in your marriage. The decision wasn't easy, because you share two children together, and for them was equally hard to understand why mommy and daddy weren't together anymore.

One of the main reasons was after having children, you marriage went cold and dead. He was busy playing football and you were busy mothering a three years old and a nine months old. You didn't have the time to be a couple anymore.

Currently, you decided to start dating again after your friends prompted you to do so. It was difficult because you had to coordinate with Joe (now that you were co-parenting). And of course, was during the off-season because during his seasons you had the kids most of the time. On weekends you dropped the children with Robin so she would take them to the home game. It was a messy life, because you shared a lot of things as a result of the years together. Trying to get rid of Joe was impossible having children with his face and living in Cincinnati. So you made peace with that fact long ago. You got along for the children, he was kind and always asked for your opinion when included the family. And you were polite with him, but nothing else.

You send him a text. "Hey, I'm dropping the kids early this Friday. That's ok?"

Joey B: Yeah, that's ok. Are you busy on Friday?

You: Yeah, something came up. Your home or your parents'?

Joey B: My house. Everything alright?

You: everything alright

That was the last text. After that you waited earnestly for your date. You met John through friends, he seemed like a good guy. By looks, the completely opposite of Joe. John had one child already, and worked for a big company in New York but was living in Cincinnati two years now.

You thought it would be difficult if men knew who was your ex-husband because it had happened one time and it ruin the mood for everyone. Apparently, you completely fucked up or whatever. Well, John didn't know anything about football, he couldn't care less about the Superbowl and that was a pleasant surprise.

So on Friday, you drive Mackenzie and Julian to their dad's house. They were behaving well during all morning. And since it was off-season they could spent the weekend with Joe.

You parked the car, and for your surprise Joe was waiting for them outside.

"Dad!" yelled Julian, running towards Joe who was wearing pants and a hoodie. "Mom, can you help me with my backpack?" asked Mackenzie trying to open the door. You got out of the car, and help her. She made cookies for her dad, and was so happy to share.

You help her to carry the backpack until you were face to face with Joe, who was looking handsome as always.

"Daddy, I made cookies!"

"Daddy, can we play videogames?"

The children demanded attention equally, but Joe was still staring at you. Hard.

"Have I something on my face?" you asked, almost aggressively. You put some make up on and dressed in a nice dress for the occasion.

"No, you fine" he cleared his throat "Not your usual fit"

"Mommy is going on a date" Julian shout, excited. Joe's eyebrows raised, you laughed nervous.

"Well, kids behave well. Enjoy the cookies" you said trying not to look at your ex-husband. "Is that true?" he asked, he sounded kinda jealous. Maybe you were overthinking.

"Well, yes" not wanting to discuss anything further in front of the kids "Take care, Joey"

"Please, call me if you need something" he said, "Let me know you're safe"

Your heart flipped. Why he did those things before your date? Weird. You nodded, going back to the car.

John was a nice man. You were sure he was nice, just...not to you. After thirty minutes in the date he kept talking about himself and his work that you thought you were watching a TED talk. He was good looking, but soon you realize you didn't have anything in common by what he was saying. Your mind wandered to your first date with Joe, it was in a bowling alley. Things got competitive and you spent a really good time together that you hook up in your car after the date. Would you hook up with John? Nah.

"Do you need another drink?" John's voice brought you back from your wild thoughts.

"No, thank you"

"So, you told me your ex-husband was a football player, right?"

"Yes" you said cautiously "He still plays"

"And how do you get along?"

"We talked only for the kids"

"Ummm, sure" he dismissed your answer. You raised your eyebrows, astonished. "What do you mean?" you wondered.

"Nothing. I didn't tell you about this trip I'm going to make next month..." he started talking again.

Joe bought you drinks too. You loved his smile back then. Julian had the same smile actually. After getting married you had very nice dates too, but you loved to spend time at home watching movies and resolving puzzles.

The date went on, and you have to excuse yourself or would die of boredom. After the date you missed your children so much, but it was Joe's time with them. So you went to your house and waited.

On Sunday evening, you went to pick up the kids. After a couple of minutes, Joe appeared wearing shorts and a compression shirt. He looked really handsome, his sandy hair was messy, he looked younger somehow.

"Hey" you said, nervous.

"The kids are in the pool" he explained "Come in while I prepare them"

"Oh, no. I can wait in the car" you replied, pointing at your car. He looked up-and-down, and pressed his lips. You blushed like a teenager "I bet they want to see you"

"Okay" you whispered, follow him inside the house. "How was your date?" the question made you flinch. You didn't remember John at all. "Umm, it was good"

I was bored as hell, and thinking about you. How pathetic.

Silence. By the way he was looking at you, he didn't believe you either. You reach the kitchen and he offered something to drink and you decline. "Are you going to the OTAs early this year?" you wondered, hearing music and the children screams outside.

"No, I'm going to spend time with the kids" you nodded, pleased. Joe was a great father, you never doubted that.

You locked eyes, and your stomach made weird things. His eyes softened, and he got closer to you.

"Y/N can we talk about us?" he requested.

"What?" you were in panic mode "About what?"

"The divorce. I thought were struggling but I never listen to you" he said, seriously "Until you fill in the papers" Your heart sank. His lips were still pressed, the wrinkles on his forehead let you know he was stressed too. "I feel like we never had the time to stop and think what we're doing" he said softly.

The bump in your throat didn't let you speak properly. You tried anyway. "I try to speak to you, Joey. I tried to do many things to save our marriage. It didn't work, you were focused on football, and I felt utterly alone" you wipe a treacherous tear "We weren't a couple anymore. I didn't have a partner"

"Mommy! Daddy!" Julian got into the house all wet and hugged you. "Do you want to see how I jump into de pool?"

"Julian, mommy is here to pick you up" Joe explained "Go and tell your sister" Julian nodded and went happily to his sister. Joe attention was on you again. "We should speak about this with more time"

"Why? Are you trying to marry me again?" you joked frustrated he wasn't listening again. "Yes, I never wanted a divorce" he replied ardently. The confession hit you. "Then, why did you fill the divorce?"

"Because I was scared..." the footsteps didn't let him finish "I'll send you a message, please"

You left Joe's house confused and heartbroken. Even though, you couldn't avoid the hope growing in your chest.

Let me know if you want a second part. I think it would be cool.

[takiberry]

ur opinion abt &Team legal line and their favorite place to YKYK😁

˚₊‧꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚ OT8 &TEAM’S FAVS PLACES TO CUM 🍙

warnings : includes members; yuma, jo, harua & taki. cum related topics, petnames, oppa kink for euijoo, smut just smut.

synopsis : no plot! just thoughts about the members’ fav areas to cum.

ᝰ.ᐟ do not proceed past “read more” if uncomfortable w/ smut regarding 0405z! 🦴

KOGA YUDAI : Chest

˚୨୧⋆｡˚ one thing about k is that he WILL cum on your chest, doesn’t matter if you’re a man, a woman, or non binary. he WILL cum on your chest. he loves how pretty it looks and definitely takes photos for him to keep on his phone. absolutely adores how you stare up at him after he does so, the thick substance on your chest could make him get hard again in an instant.

��keep looking at me with those pretty eyes again and this chest is gonna filled with more cum.”

MURATA FUMA : Inside

₊˚⊹♡ buff guy here has a breeding kink and you can’t tell me otherwise. he loves the warm feeling of his cum just pouring inside your walls, he’ll even fuck it back inside you if it leaks out. he also loves how full your insides look when he’s done, nothing satisfies him more than the fact he just fucked his babies in you.

“aw princess, i’m sure you can take more of my babies, no?”

WANG YIXIANG : Face

𖦹 ⋆° ✮ hear me out bruh. can you imagine how nicholas would stare down at you as your face is covered in his cum? bye, he just LOVES knowing that he has you wrapped around him like a cute dumb pup, what more can he ask? his pretty groans as he lets strings of his cum squirt onto your face, his thumb taking some of it and pushing it past your lips to make you taste. he’s gonna get hard again.

“so pretty, maybe the others should see, huh?”

BYUN EUIJOO : Face/Inside

˚ ༘ ೀ⋆｡˚ 02z twinnin wbk! euijoo also loves having your face covered his cum, but he adores having his cum shoved deep in you more. we all know how he wanted to be a dad, he’s going to definitely use that to his advantage when you let him breed you. whether his cum is leaking out of you or it’s dripping down your chin, he going to get turned on over again and make you take more of his cum.

“ah-ah-ah, come on y/n, you can take oppa’s cum again, can’t you?”

NAKAKITA YUMA : Back

⋆˚🐾˖° wbk yuma loves backshots. he loves how extra pretty your back looks covered in his cum and how he can easily scoop some up with his pretty fingers and fuck it inside you. his eyes would darken with so much lust again as he admires the work he left on your pretty back after he’s done fucking your brains out.

“so pretty, might have to go another round, hm kitty?”

ASAKURA JO : Mouth

𓏲 ๋࣭  ࣪ ˖ our beloved introvert here, he already loves how well you can take his cock when blowing him but it drives him nuts when he sees your mouth filled with his own semen, you have no idea how much he would give to see you always staring up at him as it drips down your chin after you blow him off. his large thumb gently wiping away the excess or gently shoving it back into your mouth.

“nothing more i’d ask for than for your mouth to be filled.”

SHIGETA HARUA : Inside

₊˚⊹ ᰔ unexpected tbh but harua LOVES cumming inside you. he doesn’t care about cumming elsewhere but in you, he would even beg you sometimes to let him cum inside when his mind is going blank from how much he’s been fucking you absolutely stupid, you leak some of it out? oh he’s gonna push his cock back in and fuck it right back inside.

“nuh-uh.. you can’t let me drip out like that , pretty.”

TAKAYMA RIKI : Back

⋆˚✿˖° YUP TAKI LOVES BACKSHOTS YUP. he’s thrilled when you let him give you backshots, he finds it the most hottest thing on earth, and since he loves fucking you from behind as well, it checks out for him. he would take photos to beat his cock too when he’s in japan or at practice, etc. the look of his cum on your back gives him a boost in ego knowing he has you to himself.

“mm, nobody else is going to ever have you like this, ‘cause you’re mine.”

જ⁀➴ tini notez : haii! i hope this is what you meant, i was a tad confused on how you wanted this but i tried my best to incorporate their actual personalities into this as well as my own thoughts ofc! 🍚

[courtofowlsbutpoor]

my ideal ending for the stormlight Archive

Quick disclaimer: I have not read wind and truth or rhythm of war so no spoilers for either please! This is also completely for fun and in NO way my actual opinion on the ending of Arc 1.

Odium: You’re right Kaladin. I DONT CARE ABOUT THE PARSHMEN, I NEVER HAVE. I WOULD KILL A MILLION PARSHMEN BEFORE I ADMIT DEFEAT. Kaladin: (Slow clap) That is so great to hear. Odium: What? Kaladin: (Holds up recording device) And you’re whole army just heard it too. Cut to Parshmen beating up the voidbringers.

Odium: NO! NOOOOOO!

He lunges at Kaladin but at the last second Venli flies in and punches him. Venli: THAT WAS FOR ESHONAI! (Punches him again) and that one was just for fun. Odium is put in super mega jail by Hoid.

Cut to huge party in Kholinar palace. Kaladin: We did it guys! We beat Odium! Lopen: And made it back just in time for some Chouta! Everyone: (Brief pause) Oh Lopen!

everyone laughs. Kaladin walks over to Shallan.

Kaladin: Soooo, Shallan. How are Veil and Radiant feeling.

Shallan: Heh. I think it’s just Shallan now. pan down to a drawing of Veil, Shallan, and Radiant all holding hands. Kaladin: Oh. That’s great!

Shallan: By the way, there’s something I needed to talk to you about. Me and Adolin, we’re going to stay together. And I love you. But just as a friend.

Kaladin laughs.

Kaladin: That’s alright Shallan. Besides, I might be seeing someone else. He looks over at Syl and winks at her.

Shallan laughs and walks away. Szeth walks up to Kaladin. Szeth elbows Kaladin.

Szeth: Lady troubles huh? Kaladin: Oh shut up. What are you going to do now, “Assasin in white”? Szeth: I don’t know Kaladin. But I do need to make up for my crimes. (This is subtle foreshadowing for the Szeth spin-off show.)

Meanwhile Shallan is talking Adolin.

Shallan: Adolin, what’s wrong? Adolin: It’s nothing Shallan. Just… my father. Why did he have to sacrifice himself? Suddenly, Dalinar bursts through the window and lands in the middle of the party.

Dalinar: Come on! You didn’t think you could get rid of me that easily did you?

Adolin: Dad?!? But you died! Dalinar: Well, I always was one for a dramatic entrance!

Adolin: How did you survive the fall off of that cliff!?!

Dalinar: Well, I thought I was dead for sure! But then she found me! he points to Lift , who’s eating food. Lift: What can I say? He seemed like he had nice food! Everyone laughs as “Party rock anthem” comes on. Everyone starts dancing, expect for Moash, who is still in a jail cell. Kaladin: (Unlocks the door) Come on Moash, get on the floor!

Moash: Really? After everything I’ve done, you still can forgive me? Kaladin: Yeah Moash. I can.

Moash hits the floor and does some epic dances. Shallan: Come on Jasnah! Give us some bars! Jasnah: Hmph. How unbecoming. But if you insist. Jasnah goes to the dj table and sings an epic rap.

Shallan: Wow Adolin. We’ve had a crazy life. Someone should document all this.

Adolin: What, like a book? Shallan: No, more an… Archive.

Adolin: Well, I heard they can use Stormlight to record things. Maybe you could use that. Shallan. Hmm… The Stormlight Archive. I like the sound of that.

Everyone sings together as the camera pans out. We end on a small hill. Rock takes a sip of stew.

Rock: Airsick Lowlanders. Maybe they aren’t so bad.

Rock turns to us, and winks at the camera.

THE END

Post- Credits scene:

Hoid: Odium is gone. But it’s clear. The humans need to be stopped, or they will destroy all we have built. So. Are you with me?

The Lord Ruler, Tonk Fah (holding Nightblood) whoever the villain of Wax and Wayne is, Hrathen, and Sadeas all walk out from the shadows. They turn to the back. TARAVANGIAN(!) looks up.

Taravangian: heh. Let’s do it. Hoid smiles. Cut to black.

HOID WILL RETURN IN “DRAGONSTEEL”

god I put too much effort into this

[itsblasttothepast]

Hey I know this is random af but I just recently found your deep-dive lore of Checo as his fan, if you don't mind me asking is there any deeper relationship between Lewis and Checo as driver since they never really become teammate to begin with? As new checo fans I feel like I missed a lot of his lore

Oh anon, you have no idea what you've done. You opened the door to a rambling from ages ago, so fasten your seatbelt, because it will be a wild ride my friend, as I'm getting into this mode:

Checo and Lewis' story started with the first podium of my adorable Mexican: Malaysia 2012. He was P2, Fernando Alonso won, and Lewis was P3.

Look how happy my boy was, so excited for his first podium, next to the big honcho (Alonso back then). As Checo was just starting in F1, honestly I didn't know much about Lewis before that moment, but he always looked reserved and aloof, too cool for this bunch (nothing against Lewis, I like him, but he gives me that vibe even now).

In the press room, we all noticed Lewis looking at Checo like this, it was like 'what is this guy even doing here, with a SAUBER?' (Sauber was a middle-low table team).

We thought then that we would hate Lewis forever and ever for giving the evil eye to our boy, but to our surprise, they seemed to get along just fine... even more than just fine, if you get my drift.

They always seemed to gossip in the interviews and press conferences, and to be honest, they were fairly touchy feely to each other.

But the year I feel they were the closest, and I can't say if they had something bigger than a friendship because of course we cannot know that, but they were close for sure, maybe good friends, was 2015... oh, 2015...

They shared a few podiums, and they were so smiley and touchy, like in Russia:

Or... the thing that BROKE US back then (and still, honestly), México 2015 Grand Prix... a video of Lewis being a DJ in a club, with Checo next to him.... I'll let the pictures speak for themselves, alrighty?

Happy and relaxed (and Checo was drunk as a skunk. Lewis apparently doesn't drink, or he does not drink excessively, that's why he made a non-alcoholic tequila, a sacrilege for me, as mexican) (also, I must admit that Checo parties hard, making him super idiotic and sleazy. I mean, I love the man, but he has his flaws). Anyways, here's the video if you want to check it out:

Sorry anon, I didn't find it on youtube.

So, naturally, all the fangirls (I'm a girl, BTW, too old for this DTS croud) were making crazy stories about a bromance-romance, that increased because we remembered this tweet:

Roscoe is Lewis' pet, so adorable and famous like his dad. He jumped into Checo's car, and Checo took this picture and tagged Lewis. Something usual between them, tagging each other with things. So as other fans had pointed out, not only Roscoe knew Checo and his car, but felt comfortable enough to jump into it and chill there.

Also, in a team dynamic with Max, Checo remembered the tweet and clarified that Roscoe doesn't travel that far when Max suggested the picture was taken in Australia, and also knows that Roscoe is vegetarian.

This was the moment when we felt like this:

We thought they were going to be the BFF of the F1, they seemed to be chillin' outside the grid and they seemed closer... but then... brocedes happened.

Nico Rosberg and Lewis Hamilton were besties, we all know that (therefore the ship/frienship name). When they became teammates at Mercedes... oh boy, things got ugly. I believe that their friendship being in decline was something that influenced the closeness between Checo and Lewis, but that's just my opinion.

2016 was the year that decided everything. Lewis focused all his energy in beating Britney (sorry, I had to use that nickname at least once, I know Nico hated it, but I couldn't resist), and his friendship/whatever else was going on with Checo faded away.

Nico won the championship (but honestly, it was brutal, it destroyed their friendship), and he retired, and Lewis seemed to regain balance and focus again. But it was never the same with Checo, and if we hoped for something to revive, 2021 ended those dreams, when Checo was brought to RedBull to help Max win the championship, and that meant blocking Lewis path as long as he could. I don't want to enter to the whole 'Lewis was robbed' discussion, but it was a riot.

Additionally, on a side note, Checo also had a good relationship with Nico Rosberg, so it was like he was in the middle of their breakup.

Still, they seem friendly nowadays, Checo keeps making small talk with Lewis, and honestly, and I clarify, IN MY OPINION, Lewis always looks very fond of Checo, and he smiles differently with him. Again, in my delusional opinion.

Like for example:

So, in conclussion anon, even when they WERE close back then, now they seem friendly and fine with each other. When they get together in the interviews, they always gossip and smile, and Canada 2024 gave us little Chewis crumbs (this was the ship name, until Charles Leclerc joined the party and now is also the name of the Charles/Lewis pairing).

Phewww, sorry anon, I know you didn't expected this rambling, but I hope you made it this far and I could answer your question.

And I'm glad to see more Checo fans around here, I was feeling like this all the time.

Oh, and please, pleaseeeee, consider this my take on things, my opinion and fangirl delusions, if you don't agree and you think I'm crazy, that's fair, but no need to be nasty about it or call me names.

Who wants me to ramble about Checo/Nico next? O Checo/Esteban? Ohhh, that would be wild!

[buddiebeginz]

I'm thankful for the Buddie scenes we got in this episode even though I wish we could have gotten so much more. In some ways I'm even thankful for the B/T scene we got because it creates a really stark contrast between the two ships.

It's clear that Buck's heart and soul are with Eddie and Chris. That while he might be attracted to T*mmy that relationship isn't about anything deeper. There's so much more they could have done with B/T in this episode if they wanted them to matter.

They could have actually defined if they’re in a relationship for one. Buck went the whole season without ever even saying boyfriend. They could have had T*mmy at the hospital with Buck yet they didn't. They could have used the dinner scene as a way for Buck and the audience to get to know Tommy more. For us to see him be supportive of Buck. He’s always just snippy or sarcastic and this scene didn’t help that. Instead of showing empathy for what Buck had been through, for his real fear of losing the only father figure Buck has known T*mmy was again dismissive (like we've seen from him with Buck multiple times before). His response to Buck talking about how he thought he almost lost Bobby this time is, “your father's alive." Worse he decides to be weirdly sexually in a conversation that really didn't warrant it in my opinion. And I have nothing against being kinky (99% of the fics I read are smut) but like there's a time and a place. Maybe when your date is talking about their dad almost dying isn't the best time to talk about your daddy kink. Just a thought.

I do wish Tim would have given us more of a signal where things are going with Buddie. I feel like there has been way to much use of Buddie to get people to watch (especially in the interviews) for them to not be a little more clear.

Also I feel like you can't make an episode like 704 where Buck clearly wanted Eddie's attention to not pick that back up even in a small way at the end of the season. We should have at least had hug between them and a moment. Nothing major. it didn't have to be an oh moment or an almost kiss but something a little more than what we got from the hug in 705. Just enough to let us know this is the direction things are moving it.

I've been really sure Buddie is in the plans (and I still believe that) but at the same time I also feel unsure of when that's going to happen. I felt certain Tim was going to give us some clue in the finale. Like I said I loved what we did get but at this point we deserve more. I know Buck only just came out and I know they had a short season. Obviously they weren't going to have both Buck and Eddie come out in the same season, still Tim knows how popular Buddie is and that many people watch just for them he needs to stop dragging his feet and pick a clear direction.

[underoospeterparker]

hi! Im not quite sure if your requests are open at the moment, but I was wondering if you could possibly write a Poly! Marauders x reader? Maybe where the reader talks a lot and is ignored by parents and friends of is yelled at often for small nervous habits they do unconsciously? You don't have to ofc!

Love ur work!!

hi guys! i've been inactive for a while, trying to focus on schoolwork and things, but now i have some time so i thought i would write something! i'm sorry if i didn't respond to any requests, ill try to get those done asap. thanks so much! love u guys<3

to anon: ofc! hope i did this one right:) i kind of did it more hurt/comfort cause you guys know i love my comfort trope<3 also if you didn't want it like this, don't hesitate to send me another req if this was too over the top with the hurt, or you didn't like the tropes:)

warnings: implied and referenced abuse, mention of sirius's past trauma & abuse, feeling not good enough, insecurity, shy!reader, introverted!reader, bruises, hurt/comfort, crying

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"(y/n!)" you snapped out of your daydream, blinking your eyes lazily as your focus adjusted to your surroundings. "ignoring us is not okay, (y/n). you need to tell us why you are behind in your classes. you're not doing good enough. we need you to stop getting distracted and focus on your work." your dad scolded you.

"argus, don't you think you're being a bit too rough on her?" your mother said quietly. "i'm sure she's doing her-"

"eleanor, don't interrupt me," your dad said quietly. that shut your mother up, and she said nothing else. you felt for her in that moment, being trapped in a relationship where she couldn't say anything, couldn't voice her own opinions because they would get shut down every single time.

it scared you to think of ever being in a marriage like theirs. because of your parents, you had trust issues, and you didn't think you could let anyone into your heart because of how your parents ended up.

they were high school sweethearts, fell in love at the young age of 16. as a kid, you would look through old boxes in cupboards, filled with old pictures of your mother and father at your age. it was crazy to think that they too fell in love, just like you.

but how their love ended up petrified you. how they thought their love would never end but it did, when you were born. you'd never seen your parents happy, let alone happy together.

playing with your fingers to try and distract yourself from the conversation you were having, you thought of your own relationship with your boyfriends. it was the complete opposite of your parents. they were comforting, respectful, caring and they always loved you no matter what.

your thoughts were interrupted by your father's voice. "for god's sake, stop fidgeting like that!" he yelled, and grabbed your wrists tightly, making you flinch. you could already feel the bruises forming.

"i'm sorry. i'll work harder," you murmured, eyes focused on the floor. you couldn't meet their eyes. you knew you were a disappointment to them. it just hurt too much to even look at them.

THE NEXT DAY

hogwarts was made for gifted witches and wizards. although you were relatively smart, you had to work really hard to get good grades, as opposed to some of your friends who barely studied and still managed to get exceptional grades. it infuriated you.

you had managed to convince two of your friends to help you study, as they were really good at astronomy.

at the library, you were excitedly telling your friends about a new book you were reading. you continued, a huge smile on your face, saying, "and so then, the she finally gets together with him, and it's just so dreamy and i-"

"oh my god, (y/n)! are you done?" your friend snapped at you. she looked extremely annoyed at you, and once you glanced at the clock you saw that you'd only been speaking for a few minutes. you didn't get why she had to be so annoyed with you. you didn't do anything wrong, did you?

your smile dissolved, and you quietly said, "yeah."

your friend then proceeded to tell you guys about her new relationship with cedric, who you didn't care about in the least. "i'm just gonna go up to the dormitories," you said quietly, excusing yourself. your friends didn't even notice your departure.

what kind of friends were they? they hurt your feelings, always making you feel worthless, just like your parents. your boyfriends had told you they were both wastes of time but you had ignored them.

'where are they, anyways?' you thought to yourself as you looked around for your boyfriends. you needed them right now. tears pooled behind your lash line as you thought about what had happened.

you felt almost guilty for wanting to see your boyfriends. you didn't want them to pity you, and so you went up to your dormitory, which was completely empty at this early hour. falling face flat onto your bed, you finally let your tears fall.

a few minutes later, you heard a knock at the door, then a soft, "baby? are you in there?" it sounded like james, and you sobbed quietly at his voice, at the comfort it brought you even without seeing him.

"c'mon, let us in," remus said through the door.

"please?" sirius chimed in. "if you don't, we'll feed you to the rats."

"pads!" james whisper-screamed. "why would you say that?"

you smiled. they could easily cheer you up, even just their voices.

you grabbed your wand off the bedside and undid the lock on the door. your boyfriends came bursting in, not expecting the sudden movement, and they caught sight of you on your bed.

"oh, sweetheart," rem said softly.

making his way over to you, he pulled you into his lap and your legs encircled his waist. you let your head fall into his chest and his hand came up to smooth your hair. "shhh," he cooed into your ear. "it's okay."

jamie was already on the other side of you, thumb stroking your palm, already warming you up. you winced slightly as his thumb pressed on your bruise from yesterday.

siri sat on the bed opposite you, and his eyes darkened protectively when he saw the bruises lining your wrists. "pup, what's this?"

for a second you were confused, then you realised what he was talking about. your eyes grew wide as you said, "it's nothing, siri, I promise." you knew about his past, you didn't want to bring it up and have him do something he would regret.

"no, sweetheart," sirius put a finger under your chin, tilting your head so your eyes could meet his. "who did this to you?"

your eyes filled with tears and the anger on his face softened, but he was still inquisitive. "dad," you mumbled under your breath. "but it wasn't his fault, i was being a brat, and-" your tears came back full force, and you whispered, "and i'm not good enough for them." you laughed wetly, then continued. "my friends ignore me. they probably think I'm stupid and useless. i don't deserve to be here. it's all my fault for being friends with them. it's my fault for not working hard enough for my parents."

the boys exchanged a look over your head. their princess, believing she wasn't good enough? well, they couldn't have that.

sirius lifted his hand from your chin to cup your cheek. you leaned against the warmth radiating from his palm, tears still silently flowing down your face. "it's not your fault," he murmured. "it's never your fault. please remember that, baby."

"you deserve everything and more," james said softly.

remus hugged you tightly against his chest. "don't let anyone ever tell you different, princess."

you cried into remus's sweater, letting out everything you'd felt the past few days. they let you cry, knowing it'd be useless to try and get you to stop. you needed a good cry.

"i'm so-"

"don't you dare apologise." sirius's eyes grew serious. "otherwise we're truly feeding you to the rats."

you giggled, hand coming up to wipe your tears but james did it for you himself. they really treated you like their princess.

"i love you guys," you mumbled, sniffling quietly.

their faces softened. "love you too, bug."

[stevesxyellowxsweater]

Satisfied

PAIRING: Prince!Steve Harrington x Reader WC: 3k CW: Minors do not interact!! No use of y/n, very few uses of feminine pronouns, I believe that it is fairly gender neutral. Reader wears makeup, and a pink puffy outfit also called maid of honour. (Please kindly correct me if I'm wrong.) Angst, heartbreak, mentions sadness, cheating if you squint. SUMMARY: It's time to celebrate your sister's wedding! What a wonderful celebration you'll have... if only you were the bride. Based on Hamilton's song Satisfied AUTHOR NOTES: Here is my first ever fic based off of a song, so please be gentle with me! This is a total labour of love and I hope you all enjoy it. @entermxnson I love you, thank you so much for the support and always reading my work it means a lot. @reidsbtch thank you for reading it for me and giving your opinion. Credit to @cafekitsune for the amazing dividers.

The door shook as you flung it open, rushing inside desperate for a moment of solace. The tears you'd been fighting since the beginning of the ceremony were already starting to slip from your eyes as you slammed the bathroom stall shut. Sitting on the toilet seat you watched the awful pink plume of a dress your sister chose rise for a moment. Anger and frustration caused you to fight it down to reach for the tissue as the tears truly began to fall. 

Nothing felt right, everything inside you just hurt. Having to watch the man you love marry another woman ripped your heart in two. Maybe you would have learnt to deal with it, but the person he married was your sister. Mascara tears flowed down your face, you were unable to stop them. He looked so handsome today, he looked so perfect. But he wasn't yours, he was hers. Prince Steve Harrington chose his bride and that was your younger sister.

The door to the bathroom opened, and heels clicked gently as someone entered the room. “It's almost time for your toast.” It was your youngest sister, did she know you were crying? Did she know you loved your sister's husband? “Dad is about to start.” You wiped your eyes and steadied yourself, hoping that she'd not hear the sadness in your voice as you spoke. “I'll be right out, this damn dress is a pain to go to the bathroom in.” 

She laughed, she didn't know. “I'll tell Dad to start, maybe Dustin can give his speech before you.” You smiled, thankful at the idea. “I'll be right there.” You said once more. There was a pause and your heart thumped hard as you thought she was going to say more. “Okay.” She finally said before her heels clicked away and the door swished open and shut. You sat there in science for a moment, the tears still wanting to trickle down your face. But you knew you needed to lock them away.

Standing up, you stepped out of the stall to see the damage your tears had done to your war paint. Fixing it the best you could, you then took several deep breaths and left the bathroom to face your doom. You hated public speaking, but you had to do this, you had to because she'd begged you to stand here and raise a glass in front of the royals, in front of his friends and your friends. In front of Billy Hargrove, you should've agreed to date all those years back instead of telling him he disgusted you.

Stepping into the room, you could feel a sinking feeling in your stomach as you approached Dustin Henderson and the microphone. “Alright, alright. Here's the moment we've all been waiting for, give it up for the maid of honour!” You smiled gently and took the microphone as everyone around you clapped. Taking a deep breath, you stared at the floor trying to focus. You needed to speak, you needed to say something but your heart was aching, your stomach swirling, and you just wanted to run away. “I’m not much for public speaking, so I’m going to keep this short and sweet.” You said with a gentle and almost awkward laugh.

You stared at the floor for a moment, trying to come up with words. You were meant to have something written, but you hadn’t been able to. Each time you tried to put something on paper all you could do was think about Steve and how he was meant to be yours. How he should’ve been yours. Now it was dooms day and here you were, nothing prepared and all fucking eyes were on you. You could always wing it, no one would know. Right?

Snapping out of your trance, you looked up and smiled. “A toast to the groom.” You said lifting your glass to the room. “And to the bride, from your sister who is always by your side.” You said with a smile and placed a hand on your chest. You did love her, even if your heart was shattered, she was your best friend. “To your union, and the hope that you provide to everyone here.” You smiled around the room as your cup was lifted high. “May you always…” your eyes landed on Steve, his eyes were glued to yours. His long fingers held his champaign flute high as he watched you. “Be satisfied.” 

As the words left your mouth, as your eyes took in the sight of the man you loved, he slowly lowered his glass while everyone toasted. The pair of you stared deep into each other's eyes, unable to look away. The world around you began to rewind and go back to that night that you would regret for the rest of your days. The night you met and lost the only person who you ever wanted, and you gave up for family.

The lights twinkled like candlelight, it felt like a dream as you and your sisters arrived at the party. From the moment you stepped inside the ballroom, eligible men began to fawn over the three of you, desperate to get your attention. Your family was well off, and everyone knew it. Weaving through the crowd, you got yourself a glass of champagne and swayed to the music enjoying the scene around you for a moment as you stood alone. 

Several men had approached you while you enjoyed your time people-watching, not a single one was interesting to you at all. Hargrove, Munson, Byers. With a simple smile and a decline of dancing, they moved on quickly to other women, some trying your sisters, some approaching Nancy Wheeler or Tammy Thompson. None of them mattered to you, even interested you. They didn’t make your heart race.

But then you saw him.

Everything changed in that moment, you knew you'd never be the same again. Those beautiful eyes, that perfectly crafted jaw. Slender body, he looked muscular even if he looked a tad skinny. His eyes locked to yours, and it was as if time stood still for a moment. He began to move fighting against the sea to meet you. Straight across the dance floor, bumping into couples, his eyes never leaving you for a second.

Maybe it was gravity, he was the sun and you were a planet. Or maybe he was a magnet attracting you with an intensity that you had never felt before. Either way, you made your way to him, meeting near the edge of the dance floor. Your eyes focused on each other, neither daring to look away.

“Hi.” Your heart skipped a beat as he continued to stare deep into your soul. His voice was as silky smooth as caramel. What was a proper greeting? What was your name again? You couldn't remember as you stared at him, fuck how could someone have such an effect on you? This never happened to you before, you weren’t that sort of person.

“Hi.” You finally managed to say. He smiled and stretched his hand out. “May I have this dance?” He questioned, before he could even finish his sentence your hand was on his. His touch set you on fire, every part of you aflame. 

Moving to the dance floor, the pair of you began to dance. His arm around your waist as he held your hand, your other resting on his shoulder. Your bodies moved close together, an intense desire bubbling between the two of you, that neither of you had ever felt before. You couldn’t take your eyes off of his face. The way moles littered his face, how his hair just fell perfectly in place almost like he wasn’t even trying. Was this what love felt like?

“You strike me as a person who has never been satisfied.” The way he spoke in your ear sent your stomach twisting, desperation and desire bubbling up inside of you. You were practically salivating as you felt yourself becoming turned on by his voice. “I’m sure I don't know what you mean, you forget yourself.” You replied looking up at him. He was bold, and you liked it. 

He smiled, a boyish smile on his face. “You're like me, I'm never satisfied.” His face was close to yours, you could feel his breath on your face as you thought about what it would be like to feel his lips on yours. Biting your lip, you looked up at him attempting to keep your composure. “Is that right?” You asked, unable to stop the smile from breaking through. “I've never been satisfied.” He whispered to you. Your eyes met as your lips moved close to each other’s. You didn’t feel like you could breathe, you wanted him. 

You told him your name with a smile, proud of your family. “Steve Harrington.” He replied. “Where is your family from?” He smiled and shook it off. “Unimportant, there's a million things I haven’t done, so just you wait.” He told you as his forehead touched yours. His hands fidgeting didn't go unnoticed, or the way he looked away for a moment. It was like he was hiding something.

He was so graceful on his feet, his eyes were locked to yours at each moment. You couldn't stop smiling. Even as the song ended, you were meant to clap for the band. But Steve kept hold of your hand, not wanting to let you go. He escorted you to the side so you could talk more.

You began to talk about literature, about science, and so much more. He was like you, you had so much in common. You'd never before met someone who matched your wit. What was the catch? He seemed too good to be true, was it possible to see find your soulmate tonight? 

You couldn't stop the hopeful feeling inside you. You rarely found someone that you had so much in common with, and yet here you were. Steve Harrington, the man who came from nowhere and wormed his way into your heart with only a few minutes of your time. 

Of course you couldn't help but notice how much of a flirt he was, the way he touched your arm, the way he gazed into your eyes. His smile was causing you to melt on the spot, for heat to pool between your legs. You needed him more than you could ever begin to admit. 

He was so handsome, and he clearly knew it. Your eyes studied his jaw and how his beard fuzz was beginning to settle in. His eyes were the most captivating thing you'd ever seen and the way his face was decorated with moles and freckles. Were they all over his body? You questioned mentally as he spoke, saying something to make you laugh.

You decide that you want to take him away, that you want to be alone with him, that privacy was something you were desperate for with Steve. You were in society, of course you shouldn't be thinking about what the pair of you could do alone, but it was so very tempting. Alone with Steve, a place where your lips could meet and the pair of you could give into the hunger that you both felt.

Turning to lead him away, your eyes landed on your sister across the room. Her eyes were on Steve and you suddenly realized the look she had on her face, she was in love. She was helpless as she gazed at Steve, she wanted him as badly as you did and as you stared at her you began to realize three reasons you shouldn't be with him.

“Where are you taking me?” You heard Steve ask, your hand still holding his. “I'm about to change your life.” You tell him with a smile. “Then by all means lead the way.” He said his fingers brushing over yours as he smiled. You know that this is the last moment he will be yours, the last minute that you will ever see him look at you that way.

Number one.

You were the oldest, it was your job to marry a well off man who could help take care of your father when he was old. You were the best choice though, even if you did say so yourself. But from the insidious gossip that echoed throughout the town Steve was penniless… but that didn't mean you wanted him any less.

You watched your sister introduce herself to Steve, a shy but bold smile as she looked at him. His eyes looked toward you as he heard the last name. “She's my sister.” You said with a charming grin. 

Number two.

He was only after you because of your last name, you'd be naive to ignore that. He knew you were rich, he knew that it would set him on the right path. You couldn't have someone using you, so your sister seemed like the better option. Of course if you'd of realized the truth, if you knew who he was you'd have kept him for yourself.

Watching as the two of them spoke, the way he held her hand and placed a kiss on it, it hurt. He was meant to be yours, he should've been yours. “I'll leave you to it.” You walked away, your hand moving to your chest as you did, it hurt. You were in so much pain at the loss of him. If you'd of looked back you'd have seen his eyes on you asking you to stay, asking for you.

Number three.

You knew your like you knew yourself, she was a good person and if you told her that you loved him she'd resign and he'd be yours. But you couldn't do that to her, you couldn't tell her that. Even if you told her that you loved him, and she told you that it was fine to have him. You knew she would've been lying. Glancing back for just a moment, you felt your heart breaking. He was no longer yours.

As your words for your toast echoed around you, you glanced down at the glass in your hand. You tried your best to keep your emotions in check. Looking up you smiled, before walking away. You didn't want to stay here, you couldn't stand it. 

Stepping out into cool night air, your hands held onto your chest. Every night since you first met you think about him, you'd fantasize about his eyes and each little part of him. You wished you'd not sized him up so quickly. It had been the biggest blow when you discovered he was a prince.

Tears began to trickle down your cheeks, at least you knew your sister would be happy as his bride. You'd never seen her so fucking happy. Even if you were miserable, at least she was. You honestly didn't care about the crown, didn't care that he was royal or rich, you only cared about him. But now your sister was his princess.

A jacket wrapped around your shoulders, cutting the cold from reaching you. You didn't need to turn around to know who it was, you could smell the expensive cologne. His presence always caused your heart to flutter. It always made your stomach twisted and made you feel nervous.

 It was Steve.

“You strike me as a person who has never been satisfied.” He said in your ear, you could feel his touch, feel his hands on your waist and it was driving you insane.”I don't know what you mean, you forget yourself.” You whisper gently as you turn your head to look at him.

Your bodies were close, his hands on your arms, his breath in your ear. You just wanted him to hold you and tell you it was okay. Sighing gently you bit your lip. “You're like me, I'll never be satisfied.” He whispered to the point you could feel his lips on your ear.

“You shouldn't have said that in your toast.” Turning around you looked at him, your tears shon in the light. Slowly Steve reached up and wiped away your tears. “I don't care…” you whispered your voice breaking as you spoke. Without a word he pulled you into a hug and held onto you tightly.

You could feel his large hands on your back, the way he held you made you wish that you didn't just have to fantasize about him. But you knew that your sister would be happy as his bride, you couldn't do that to her. You didn't have it in your heart to hurt her.

Pulling back slightly, you looked into Steve’s eyes. His fingers moved to brush your hair from your face. “I will never be satisfied.” He whispered as he kept his eyes on you, unable to look away. You wanted so desperately to just have one kiss, just a single kiss with him. But you couldn't, he wasn’t yours.

Hearing calls of his name he glanced back toward the hall and sighed. Leaning forward he pressed his head against yours for a moment. Just soaking in that feeling of how losing a soulmate felt. You stood together, foreheads pressing to each other for maybe a moment before he stepped away.

Slipping off his jacket, you pushed it into his hand. It seemed as he took it his scent went with him. He looked you in the eyes one last time, glaning down you sighed as you heard his footsteps recede. It felt like he was walking out of your life forever. Looking up, you watched him as he glanced at you one last time before he left to go back inside to find his bride. As he disappeared in the crowd, the sadness bubbled over and the tears started once more.

“He will never be satisfied.” You whispered as you took a seat on a bench, your hands wiped away your tears as his lingering touch faded from you. “I will never be satisfied.”

Tag list: @entermxnson @mrprettywhenhecries @shescreamslikeachild @halflifejess @keerysfolklore @stveharringtn @darleenjade @reidsbtch @inourtownofhawkins @tsukillama @southerngothicchic @artheauxyongguk @bubbblessss @eddie-steve1986 @wroteclassicaly @freckledjoes @kingstevc @lesservillain @rattkween86 @take-everything-you-can @we-out-here-simping @stevesbeautifulhair @honey-eyed-munson @teen--marvel @corrodeddeadlydoll @pumpkinonice @diffrent-spokes @megxplryxb @cherryflavoredchapsticck @season4steve @sh0rtcakee @joekeerysmoles @littleplushpumpkin @eddielove @sweetdazequeen @sweetsweetjellybean @yourfavoritewitchbitch @bunnyhargrove

I have tagged people who have either interacted with this post, are a mutual who i hope wants to read it, or you've shown interest in it. please note if you haven't been tagged and you did interact with the post it's either A. because your age wasn't on your blog, b. because your tag wasn't showing up.

REBLOGS ARE LOVE, REMEMBER THAT PEOPLE

[lauren-no-why]

Redmayne Brothers breakdown?

Phew, okay, here we go! Three characters to answer for, I love you for asking this, haha.

Johnnie

How I feel about this character: My precious baby boy, I adore him. Reckless perfect terrible child. Pat him on the head, he brings so much joy.

Ship romantically: None in canon. Johnnie/his ego, Johnnie/hedonism, Johnnie/so many girls he doesn't remember the names of and maybe a few he does but not in a serious way. He's a ladies boy, or certainly thinks of himself that way, and none of it is romance but it is very definitely lust and pleasure.

Also thanks to some very long-running eternally-ongoing shenanigans I ship him with Chrissy Cunningham from Stranger Things. @spectromagic knows.

Non-romantic OTP: Man it's not an OTP it's just these three brothers and their dynamic. I love them all even if it's mostly headcanon (BEN!!! PLEASE GIVE US MORE). I think they've all leaned on each other a lot over the years and Johnnie looks up to Dale and Alex so much. I can only imagine how absolutely devastated they are by his death (BEN!! GIVE) and that tragedy feeds me.

Unpopular opinion: I don't care at all for the Buck/Johnnie ship. Doesn't work for me. Buck is very clearly obsessed with Lee to the point of absolute ruin. I think the cigarette scene was mostly meant as a way to show that Buck can interact with the ghosts and also that he's super freaked out by this (at first) but then later just like, accepting of it. Does not read as shippy to me.

One thing I wish would happen/had happened with this character in canon: Oh I desperately hope we run into him again, causing trouble out there in ghost form, because clearly we know he's still around. Also I absolutely MUST know more about his whole backstory and also whatever he saw in his visions and also whatever he experienced while black-brained because I live and die for cosmic horror and you know that's some really horrific shit.

Dale

How I feel about him: Without dumping paragraphs of headcanon here, good lord I adore Dale. We know he's brilliantly creative when it comes to music, and must have quite the force of personality also to be a co-leader of the gang. There's so much there to draw from, and then we also know (or it's implied, I guess) that a lot of the music that survives to the modern era via Lord Huron covers was massively inspired by Johnnie's death, maybe as a way to cope. I feel for him so much. Poor Dale.

Ship romantically: Look we have nothing to go off of, but if I had to name names I'd just go with the lovely Ms. Penny Clicks there at his side in the Fool for Love MV. In my head they had a thing once and are now buddies that absolutely lean on each other a lot, where he trusts her to get shit done that needs to get done. Big fan of the lady gang members as a whole.

Part of me also wants to ship him with Rigo but that isn't fair because it's purely invented and Rigo is like, dead or vanished anyway and so the only purpose that serves is to dump more trauma on his head.

Non-romantic OTP: See this answer in Johnnie's section.

Unpopular opinion: I don't... think there are enough popular opinions here to even go off of lmao

One thing I wish would happen/had happened with this character in canon: Hey Ben can you give us more, thanks. I would like more. At least mention him eventually again since his name hasn't come up since Strange Trails and it's killing me.

Alex

How I feel about this character: The absolute pillar of these three, my third best boy, Alex I adore you so much. When there is no dad you must become the dad. Strength both physically and mentally. His crew has so much respect for him, Johnnie adores him, you know that he's always doing his absolute best to make sure everyone has what they need and are causing the most havoc in the right ways at all times. Champion. In my head he's almost religiously dedicated to the World Ender and has taken this leadership role very seriously. He's like a paladin but of a violent street gang that's part cult to some unearthly being. So good. So good.

Ship romantically: I accidentally started shipping him with Moonbeam in like a nonromantic but FWB way and I'm obsessed with this dynamic now. He doesn't trust many people but he does trust her, and she's more than earned it.

Non-romantic OTP: See this answer in Johnnie's section.

Unpopular opinion: Buddy who else even has opinions about Alex, we barely have anything on him, I'm glad that my head is a lively place full of extrapolation and daydreams.

One thing I wish would happen/had happened with this character in canon: What the FUCK he didn't even get a single speaking line??? Peter Mendoza is such a sweetheart and a talented actor and he didn't even get a line??? Wasted opportunity. Bring him back. Let's see the violence he will unleash on Z'Oiseau following Johnnie's death. The man is an absolute force of nature leading LA's most feared gang. I need to see this desperately.

[dr-spencer-reids-queen]

Reckoner: Part Three

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Female!Reader

Word Count: ~1.9k

Summary: Your world is turned upside down when you get in trouble for something you didn't even do. The entire team is in uproar over this but Hotch says he will take care of it. Can he? Or are you doomed to live out the rest of your days in misery?

Warnings: canon violence, canon language, canon talk of death, methods of kill

Author’s Note: I do not own anything from Criminal Minds. All credit goes to their respective owners. If there are any warnings that exceed the normal death/kills from the show, I will list them.

x

The next day, Allison and her father showed up to Long Island to talk to Detective Gil and the team. Drew talked to his ex-wife as soon as he landed on Long Island so he's aware of what's actually going on. By the time he gets to the police department, he's not too happy.

"I spoke to Heather as soon as we landed. I knew for a long time something was off, but this—Why didn't you tell me?" Drew asks his daughter who has been silent the entire time.

"Mr. Sandweiss, Allison is the victim here," JJ says.

"I just want to know the truth from her, for once."

"I told you, I don't know what they're talking about."

Emily and JJ look at each other with the same look because they are thinking the same thing: She would open up more if you were here.

"Allison, we have the pictures your stepfather took of you."

Maybe it's Emily's gentle tone because she looks down at her lap in shame.

"He was always home before mom. We just talked at first."

"Why didn't you tell your mom?"

"I knew she'd tell Dad, and he always said he'd kill anyone who laid a hand on me," she sighs shakily.

"Did he?" Drew asks.

She nods and Drew has to remember where he is. It's not a good idea to punch the wall in anger in a police station.

"Allison, did you ever tell anyone about what your stepfather was doing?" JJ asks.

"I told my therapist. He said I act out because I crave attention. I'm so sorry, Daddy," she cries. 

"You have nothing to be sorry for."

He sits next to her and pulls her to his side.

"We need the name of your therapist."

"Jerry Sorum."

Derek immediately has him come in for questioning that he's super nervous about. It's normal to be nervous in the presence of authority, but Derek doesn't know if it's excessive or not.

"Am I a suspect?" Jerry asks when he's placed in the interrogation room.

"Not yet, Mr. Sorum. What is your professional opinion of Allison?" Derek asks.

"You mean was she sexually abused by her stepfather? No question."

"Did you report it?"

"Of course."

"To the police?"

"Absolutely."

"How far did they take it?"

"They had it reviewed by the state."

"Did the police interview her?"

"They came to my office," Jerry sighs. "Allison wanted nothing to do with it. Case closed. Just like the 380,000 cases of child abuse reported in this country each year. Less than one percent gets to trial."

"Does that make you want to even the odds?" Derek asks accusingly.

"Every time I listen to a child vividly recount the most horrific acts of abuse done at the hands of a father, an uncle, or someone they're supposed to trust... It's all I can do not to break down, but that's all I'm capable of. After that, like you, I trust in the justice system."

Some justice system. Not only does it not protect people like how they're supposed to, it doesn't look at the facts of a case. Police see one thing and assume something else. If both of those things have something in common, then they must be connected. Instead of looking at the facts and asking What If instead of having tunnel vision, then you wouldn't be here.

The door to the interrogation room opens and you look up from the spot on the desk you've been picking at.

"Your lawyer is on his way over here."

"I want my phone call."

The officer sighs and uncuffs you from the table so that you can use their wall phone dedicated to people and their one phone call. The one person you want to call is Spencer to tell him you're okay but you end up calling your father. He's more likely to get shit done if he knows his daughter is in trouble. 

He answers on the first ring.

"Hey, baby girl."

"Daddy? I'm in big trouble here. I've been arrested."

"What? What happened?"

"They're saying I'm responsible for the murder of seven people. Dad, I'm scared. I didn't kill anyone." You make sure to keep your voice low. "You gotta come here and help me."

"Don't you worry, baby. I'm actually in your area for business right now. Where are you?"

"Virginia Police Department. The one by the beach by the BAU. I don't have my phone so I can't send you the address."

"I know where it is. Don't worry, sweetheart. Daddy will take care of it."

You hang up the phone and are escorted back into the interrogation room. You're only in there for five minutes before the door opens again. This time, the arresting officer walks in with your dad. 

"Dad!" you gasp. You want to get up and hug him but you're handcuffed to the table. The officer only allows him to stay in here alone because the mirror in the room is two-way glass so they will be watching you very carefully. "When you said you were in the area, I didn't think you were right down the road."

"I came as fast as I could. I couldn't believe my ears. You're framed for murder?"

"I don't know the details. Greg is coming down to help me."

"Greg, our lawyer?"

"Yeah. You and Mom use him all the time for your adoptions."

"No, you can't use him."

"Why not?"

"He's not that kind of lawyer. I mean, he doesn't deal with murder cases and isn't a defense lawyer. He's more of a mediator. Plus, he's already on another case. I called him earlier."

"I don't know anyone else. What am I going to do?"

"Don't worry. I told you I would take care of it. I know someone else who is just as good."

You have no choice but to listen to what he has to say. An officer escorts him out of the room so you're all alone again, and you go back to picking at the end of the table.

You're in the mind of everyone on the team but they still have a job to do even if they don't like prioritizing this over helping you. Rossi talked to one of his contacts who just so happened to be a mobster back in the day. He's in the criminal enterprise that is being threatened to shut down since the FBI is closing in on him, which is why he's lying low. If a hitman is killing people, then Ray Finnegan might know something about it.

Ray took one look at Ben's crime scene photos and knew the guy who's been doing this. His name is Bosola and he's been operating for twenty years. Most people know him to be a ghost because he's that hard to find. He promised to bring in Bosola so that the FBI could apprehend him, but they have to hide out in secret before they can go in. If Bosola knows the FBI is waiting outside then he might not show.

Rossi and Hotch are in one car and Emily and Derek are in another down the block. There is also another car with two unknown agents near the car Hotch and Rossi are in. There are also plenty of officers in undercover cars spread out up and down the block. Penelope and Spencer are tuned into comms just in case the team needs their help.

"When he dims the lights, we go in," Rossi says to everyone over ear comms, and he turns to look at Hotch. "No bullshit. What's going to happen to Y/N?"

"I honestly don't know. I tried talking to the Captain, and from what I gathered, all the murder weapons are from her apartment, and her DNA was found on all seven victims."

"Did she know them?"

"No. She's never met them in her life. I believe her, but we all know what happens when the facts line up."

Spencer hears Rossi and Hotch talking and grows quiet. Penelope looks at him to see tears silently rolling down his cheeks.

"How's Reid taking it?"

"About as well as you'd think."

"I saw Prentiss and Morgan up the block, but the two agents in the sedan are not with us."

"I know. They're the counter surveillance in case Foyet is watching me. For which, apparently, there's no more money."

"Yeah, I heard."

"Did somebody call you?" Hotch asks.

"They're concerned."

"What did you say?"

"What I'm telling you. An attack against you is an attack against all of us. Just like with Y/N. When we're done here, we'll focus on her." Rossi's phone rings and he frowns when he sees Ray is calling. "Why are you calling? Are you okay?"

"I hope you got some good guys out there. This man is a mean son of a bitch."

"We're all over. He's not gonna know what hit him."

"Hey, that smart kid you mentioned earlier... I could use a little help," Ray says and looks at his crossword puzzle.

"Reid?"

"Yeah?"

His voice sounds so small that it breaks Derek's heart.

"Crossword question. Ten letters. Crater creator," Ray says.

"Crater creator?"

Penelope looks over at him to see not an ounce of concentration on his face. He's not even trying.

"Arctangent," she answers.

"Did you get that?" Rossi asks.

"Damn, she's smart."

Ray hangs up the phone and Rossi looks at the restaurant in thought. There is a flash so quick that Rossi didn't think it happened. He looks at Hotch who doesn't look like he saw it.

"Did you see that flash?"

Once again, the flash happened but it's more prominent.

"I saw that. He's already in there. All units, go, go, go!"

Everyone who is staking out the restaurant leaps out of their cars and rushes inside the restaurant but it's too late. Ray is slouched over in his chair with two bullet wounds on his body. One in the heart, one in the head. Bosola was here, lying in wait. Derek takes a car and canvasses the area in case Bosola stuck around to see the aftermath. CSIs come in, Long Island officers come in, and just about everyone else who is available to work the case.

"We had the streets, the building, and even the damn roof covered. How the hell did he get through us?" Rossi asks.

"Garcia traced Ray's phone calls. He made one at 4:38 p.m. to a pre-paid cell and another one to you at 11:41 p.m.," Emily says.

"We gave Bosola seven hours to prepare. I think he was here before we arrived."

"He heard Ray call me. This is all my fault," Rossi sighs.

"Now he knows we're onto him."

"He's not the only one. Whoever he works for does, too."

Now that the team knows who the unsub is and what kind of killer he is, it's time to give the profile. 

"Each mutilation represents the crimes the unsubs believe these three individuals committed. There are two unsubs who are both male. Unsub 'A' is 'The Planner'. He works in the criminal justice system. We're looking at both defense and prosecution attorneys, judges, and even cops. We believe that The Planner has experienced a devastating personal tragedy of some sort, and because of the sophisticated nature of the scenario, we believe unsub "A" is in his late fifties or sixties," Hotch starts it off.

"The Planner likely met unsub 'B' or 'the enforcer' within the court system. He's been hired to carry out justice. Now, this type of justice does not come cheap. So, The Planner has access to substantial cash."

"Absolutely no attempt was made to hide the mutilation. This suggests The Planner either doesn't care what we find or he wants us to find it. Now, The Enforcer, on the other hand, has no such intentions. He should be considered armed and extremely dangerous."

"Thank you," Rossi concludes.

"Alright, let's go people," Detective Gil says.

x

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[abysshare]

Normally i don't do this because like. While I'm well aware i can have my own opinions, i still don't want to make anyone feel bad for me being a disliker ( maybe hater? ).

Spoilers / talking about the new Venom movie below. If you liked it I'm glad you did! If you want to explain in why in comments, feel free! /genuine

I'll start with: i had a bad-ish day so maybe everything soured my mood and i wasn't ready i. The end. I also picked the wrong ticket and had to watch it in 3D < not a 3D fan due to being sensitive to flashing lights.

What i did like:

Implications of being bonded since v1

Knull ( surprisingly, i hate the comic story though I'm gonna be so real. But its been awhile since i looked up the plot/story ).

Agony and the Christmas themed Symbiote

Horse.

Dancing.

The blue symboite and that fire symbiote ( so pretty?? I loved the different powers and such. I want to draw both of them ).

The symbiote hunter, shes gorgeous.

What i Did NOT like:

Toxin being erased entirely.

They killed of Carnage and Cletus in 2 so this whole thing flopped without them IMO

You can see where Disney or Sony whoever wanted this or that but when Tom or whoever didn't want it, it got scrapped and had messy left overs.

Too much action and too much comedy ( the dancing was fine, but the hippie family deal went on a bit too long imo ).

Why was Agony introduced but not the other three? Specifically Scream at least?

Knull having his own thanos moment for sony, a spin off or whatever they're doing.

Eddie's ENTIRE attitude.

That Montage was ASS. Hate that song too.

Too much going on imo

I would have loved to have a genuine queer moment, a kiss, a "i love you", literally anything. I can MAYBE understand if they tried but Sony or Disney said no ( fuck them ) but still. And no i was one of the few that hope there wasn't fucking or kiss with HARD tongue ( i am ace and also these two are my dads to me, it would've been awkward ). Yeah i see some people saying "Its textual" !!!

Yea sure thats nice but aren't you tired? It doesn't have to be queer baiting but like. I'm so tired.

Even if you remove that um? Its not.. that great.

I'm WILLING to watch it again and read positive sides. Because my mood just may have soured.

i think my biggest issue if i take everything away what i just said, is Eddie just going back to being annoyed at every little thing Venom does or wants. ITS OKAY to be concerned about being found by the hunter, but even before then hes just so done. And even during? He should've been concerned. Or Yeah he CAN be annoyed / irritated, but it should be with care. This felt like he was back to thinking of Venom as a tumor, something he just needs to get rid of.

It was vastly upsetting as someone who has partners. Like.. it would be okay if this was the second or first- but it isn't!!!!! And yeah couples fight, but they didn't even do that. Couples have disagreements! But they didn't even talk it out or anything.

Also like? One of my things that bugged me was, when Eddie was complaining about his feet, and we knew Venom couldn't fully take over..... why didn't Venom just yk. Cover his feet for him and walk? That would have been a subtle sweet gesture while they could've still been bantering and so on.

If they had like. Argued, fought, had an emotional moment at the end, Eddie was upset he never got to apologize- i could see it. But thats another thing- he wasn't even THAT upset...

Its fine to not be a super empathetic person, fuck i dont always cry appropriately either. But he didn't show Nothing and not in a "i'm a no empathy person" way.

Idk!!!!!!!! My brain is scrambled.

People have said a lot of what i have problems with already but idk i just!!! Feel the need to put it out there.

Also i missed the second end credit scene :,)

Note: I'm not angry or completely a hater. More so neutral and not a huge fan of some things.

[assortedseaglass]

The Seamstress & The Sailor - Chapter Eight

Tom Bennett x OFC

[Masterlist]

Warnings: Language, injury detail, World on Fire spoilers

Word Count: 5.8K

Note: It’s a long chapter! The last one got a lot of love that I wasn’t expecting, so thank you! If anyone has any suggestions or things they’d like to see happen, give me a message!

December 1939

Dear Tom,

You’ll notice there’s no photograph enclosed. There are numerous reasons. 1. The last person a group of lonely sailors want to look at is serious old me, 2. We can barely afford our groceries, let alone a trip to the picture parlour, 3. I have some self-respect and shan’t be “oiling myself up”. Besides, I’m sure you all got plenty of entertainment on shore leave, though what makes you think I have any interest in your exploits I don’t know, seeing as I never have before.

How was shore leave? Did you have much time to relax? And answer properly this time! I hope for Norman and Terry’s sake, you were gentle with them! And you’re right, Norman sounds like a bit of stuff for Dot. Now Cora has Roger, maybe I could have Vic? When are you bringing him to Longsight? Is he handsome?

It’s a dreadful thing to say, but sometimes I envy you. Out there, seeing the world. At night, when I’m thinking of you and Albie, I dream that I have the cold wind and salt spray on my face. Tell me what it’s like. Has this been the making of you?

We found out yesterday that Albie will be back for Christmas. Dadda and Dot are beside themselves. Cora and I, of course, can’t wait to have him home but the three weeks between now and Christmas seem like such a long time for so much to happen. I shan’t be happy until he steps through the door.

I must admit, Dot has been insufferable recently. She was eighteen on Sunday and has taken her official arrival into adulthood rather too seriously. She has an opinion on everything, though sadly I think it’s what she has heard some of the older women spouting at the factory. She’s becoming such a snob – no one can do any right in her eyes. Nothing is “proper” or “civil”. We had hoped the war would give her a dose of reality but it seems to have done quite the opposite. Dadda’s drinking is getting worse again, though he isn’t as angry as he used to be. Sometimes I wish he’d shout at us, at least it would show someone is living in there. Now, he’s like a ghost, wafting between the house, the dockyard and occasionally the pub with your dad.

Speaking of, your dad said he’d written to you recently. I don’t know if he mentioned it, but I’ve been spending a lot of time with him. You know I’ve always likes the quiet, and your dad might just be the quietest man in Longsight. It all started when Walter Watson tried having a go at him for giving out the Peace Paper. Well, your dad didn’t back down and Walter Watson went on his way. You should give your dad more credit. I know you don’t always see eye to eye but you’re more alike than you think (stubborn). Anyway, since then we’ve been handing out the Peace Paper together outside the factory, and he gives me a lift home on the bike. He loves you so much, Tom. Sometimes, I catch him through the window doing nothing but sitting by the wireless. I miss mam and Albie, but at least I have Cora, Dot and dadda. He’s haunted by all this love he has nowhere to place.

They’ve moved me onto making the Lancasters at the factory. I don’t know if you’ll have seen them, they’re mostly flying over Europe. Enormous things, they are. The foreman had us line up on one of the wings to see how many it would fit. Almost thirty of us! I’m enjoying the work, but I can’t help but feel so detached from the war. I never see the work we do in action, and I think of you and Albie, even Lois, out there and feel like such a fraud. They’re advertising nurses training at Manchester Royal and I thought I might apply. What do you think? Maybe it’s spending all this time with your dad – I so admire Cora and Dot and Roberta, but I want to be patching people up, not making the things that hurt them in the first place.

Speaking of the girls, Hattie and Jude are back this weekend so we’re going dancing with Roberta, C and D. Can you believe it, Hattie has a fella! A young farmer she met in the Land Army. Glen, he’s called. I don’t think she’s bringing him with her, her mam would have an apoplexy. We’ll have to make do with the few men we’ve got and each other. Speaking of which, since when did you get so defensive of Queenie Warren? Last I remembered you were avoiding dances and saying she’d go for “anything with a pulse”. You know I’d never say anything to her face, but you and I were always in the same mind about her. Cora always saw far too much good in her, Dot far too much bad. You and I saw the real Queenie. Charmingly nonsensical.

I miss having someone to confide in. I sometimes thought you and Albie were the only people that understood me. I wonder how you and I got to talking and why we never do anything in the day. Just sit in our kitchen at night and chatter. Are we friends? Or just two people whose lives correspond? I hope we’re friends, Tom. I know you aren’t one for sentimentality, and I’m silent as the grave but, as I said in my last, letters seem to be my medium. Every thought I’ve ever had comes pouring out with ease. Believe it or not, I can’t wait until you come into the kitchen at witching hour and sit with me while I sew or play piano. It’ll mean the world has gone back to normal. Please take care, for me, and God bless.

Your friend,

Bess.

Tom finished reading the letter that had come with the latest resupply from the auxiliary vessel. From the netting that hung above his bunk, he grabbed pen and paper.

“Can’t keep your sweetheart waiting.” A low voice teased from the opposite bed. Tom balled up a piece of paper and threw it at Vic, who smirked and shut his eyes. They were on shift in less than an hour, enough time for him to get some rest and Tom to reply to the letter. He lay it next to a fresh piece of paper and began to write.

Dear Bess,

I was glad to get your letter but sorry to see no photograph inside. I’ve told the lads all about the dark haired Vaughn girl and they’d love to get a look at you. You know you’re gorgeous -

Fuck. Did he really just write that? Well, no going back now.

You know you’re gorgeous - I saw those men clambering to dance with you before I left. And you had Walter Watson and Frank Smith fighting over who got to dance with you first. Lucky girl.

Tom looked back to the letter Bess had written him. “What makes you think I have any interest in your exploits I don’t know, seeing as I never have before.” He blanched with embarrassment.

Shore leave was fine, though Port Stanley isn’t much. Picked up a lovely bird while I was there. A real one. Bright yellow, she is. Called her Vera. Norman and I are taking bets on when she’s going to lay an egg. And I know you’re already thinking that I’ve swindled the lads out of pocket by buying a male, but she really does lay eggs. First one came just as we left Port Stanley. I think Norman and Terry enjoyed shore leave more, though Terry nearly lost his stomach next morning. Tell Dot I’ve got a fella for her, and that I’m keeping him safe.

He looked at her letter again. “Maybe I could have Vic? When are you bringing him to Longsight? Is he handsome?” Soft snores came from Vic’s bunk, and Tom observed him from the corner of his eye. He was handsome, Tom supposed. Tall, bonny face. Hatred bloomed momentarily in his stomach.

Vic is handsome, I’d say. But you’d make a boring couple, you’re both too serious.

Funny that you envy us, Bess. I envy you. What I’d give to be tucked up in bed, smelling a fresh pot of coffee and bacon from downstairs. Cook keeps us well fed, but it looks like slop. On my down shifts, I’ve taken to standing on the stern and watching the horizon. Sometimes it feels like if I just stood on my toes, I’d see you all on the other side. Stood there, cold wind and water washing over my face, is the smallest I’ve ever felt. Was always scared of that before. I wanted to feel big but out there, my insignificance is calming. Does that make sense? Certainly makes me less scared of dying. I’m just one bloke. How about, when this is all over, I take you on a cruise? That way you can see what it’s like for yourself. Bet you’d love to make yourself dresses and suits for sailing. Like Bette Davis or Marlene Dietrich.

I’m sorry Dot is giving you grief, and tell her I’m sorry for forgetting her birthday. She’ll grow out of it soon. She’d better or she’ll have you and Cora to answer to. And crikey, Bess, the list of people I’m going to have to sort out for you is getting longer by the day. I know you said you wished your dad would shout at you, just so he seems human, but you and I both know what he gets like. He’s not himself when he’s drinking and if he lays a finger on you I’ll be back from the navy quicker than you can say Hitler’s Only Got One Ball. Think you should release him back into my Dad’s care, that way someone can keep an eye on his drinking and it doesn’t have to be you.

Dad did indeed tell me that you’ve been spending time together. I don’t think much of your taste in men. Will I be calling you “mum” soon? From what he told me, it sounds more like you were the one to send Walter Watson packing. Thank you, for spending time with him. When I’m home, I can’t bear to spend more than an hour with him but when I’m away, I worry. Lois always knew how to handle him, handle both of us.

I know you won’t believe it, but I’m glad Hattie has a fella. It means the rest of us won’t have to put up with her appalling dancing. Seems like everyone is getting paired up. Hattie and her farmer. Queenie and Frank Smith, if that’s still happening. Cora and Roger. Your Dot and my Norman. We’ll be the only ones left. Though, by the time I get back, you might be in training and I’ll be on my tod. I can imagine you as a nurse. Just seeing you would make the fellas’ day but heaven forbid they try anything. Not if you treat them like you did Walter Watson. I think it would suit you. And it’d be good for you to get away from Longsight. I know it’d only be a few miles, but you could have your own life there. You loved it at the tailors, and this might give you some of that life back.

I’d miss you though. I do miss you.

Tom paused his writing and stretched is hand.

I hate that you question our friendship. You’re the only person that treats me right. Dad and Lois think I’m a lost cause. Maybe I am. But I never feel that way with you. Sometimes, when I can’t sleep, I imagine I’m sat in your dad’s armchair listening to you play the piano. It became such a routine that I think I find it hard to sleep now without it.

The auxiliary boat is leaving soon so I best give them this letter. I’m sending with it all my care for you and your sisters. Give Dot a birthday kiss from me and tell her that when I’m back I’ll take her for a dance.

Don’t worry about me,

Tom.

He jumped from his bunk, straightened his uniform, donned his cap and grabbed Vera’s cage. On deck, Campbell was bidding farewell to the auxiliary ship’s captain.

“One for the post!” Tom called.

“Cutting it fine, Bennett,” Campbell said, but allowed Tom to hand over his letter and ignored the birdcage. “Shift in twenty minutes.”

“Yes, sir.” Once the letter was sailing towards Bess, Tom made his aways along the various decks rattling the coin purse in his pocket. “Time and date she lays an egg,” he called to his fellow sailors, holding up the little birdcage. Somewhere, along the way, kind and gentle Norman joined him. Below deck, Terry was tapping away at the wireless operations table.

“Y’alright Terry? Name the day, name the time Vera lays an egg. Nearest time wins, threepence a bet.” Tom said, leaning against the doorframe as Norman handed over the betting book. Terry removed his headphones and scribbled down his prediction, turning it to the little yellow bird.

“Today, eleven-hundred hours.”

“Hey,” Tom interjected. “No coaching. Good lad, Terry.” The boys moved to the mess hall, and Tom made a beeline for Vic, now awake and ready to start his shift. Tom rattled the money purse at him while Norman took more bets.

“Time and day she lays an egg,”

“Sure it’s a girl?” Vic scoffed.

“She laid an egg at Port Stanley,” Tom quipped back.

“Bet she looked surprised,”

“I wouldn’t know what a surprised bird looks like,”

“Find that hard to believe!” Vic said good-naturedly. Tom turned to look at the room, a roguish smile on his face. His eyes landed on the man leant against the deck frame.

“Ginger?” Tom shook the coins. The man turned, barely looking at Tom until he came near level to his face. Mistrust was written across his pale features.

“Why would I want to line your dirty Manc pockets?” Men sat up in their hammocks and stooped in the doorway. The whole room stilled to watch the men square up.

“Dunno,” Tom smirked. “Maybe you’re saving up for a whore in Argentina.” A few people sniggered.

“Alright Tom, simmer down,” Vic spoke over his shoulder. “He gets over excited, Henry.”

The ginger man took no notice, but averted his attention to Norman, who laughed next to Tom.

“You laughing at me lad?”

Norman stopped immediately, eyes shifting from Henry to Tom.

“No, Henry.”

“No, sir.” Henry asserted.

Tom could feel his piss curdling. Fucking prick.

“Don’t have to call you “sir” now, does he? Same rank.” He leant to Norman. “Don’t call him sir, Norman.” There was a long pause while Tom surveyed the room and everyone waited for Norman to speak. Henry got there first.

“No, sir.”

“No, sir.” Norman said softly to the ground. Tom nodded. Of course. Before Henry moved away, he looked Tom in the eye, smug that he had won the altercation.

“’SIR’” Tom said cruelly in Norman’s face. The quieter man went pale.

“Come on, Tom,” Vic warned. “Play nice.”  

Every atom in Tom’s body was starting to thrum. Two months he’d been at war without so much as a sniff of a fight, and here Henry was kindly offering up his services. Tom straightened his shoulders and squared his jaw. He felt like a prize fighter, ready for the first punch. Vic watched his friend’s nostrils flare and knew what was coming. Tom turned lazily on the spot and watched Henry walking away. Cocky git can’t get away with it that easily.

“You’re lucky you get called Henry.” Men around them hissed with expectation, and he heard Vic issue another warning. Henry immediately prowled back towards him.

“So what is it you’d like to call me?” His tone was calm but his posture was anything but, fists balled and face looking up at Tom’s jutting jaw. Norman edged closer to Vic.

“Spoilt for choice really.” The circle of men was closing in, anticipation wending through the air. “Let’s just say it wouldn’t be a word a mother would use. Although,” Tom sniffed and looked the smaller man up and down. Here came the first blow. “Your mother might.”

For a moment, it looked as though nothing would happen. For a moment.

Henry slammed Tom into the store cupboard and Vic jumped in front of him.

“You want some!? You FUCKING WANT-”

CRACK

Henry’s fist made contact with Tom’s jaw before he had time to finish his sentence. No sooner had Tom hit the ground was he trying to get up again, grappling with the many hands attempting to restrain him. Henry walked away, shoulders hunched in frustration.

“OI! Take your hands off me!” Tom shouted, straining to be unleashed.

“Stay down!” Vic shouted. “THAT’S ENOUGH!”

Tom checked his nose for blood and smirked at Vic. Calm and measured Vic. Not anymore. “Hey! What is wrong with you? Why do you have to go around winding the rest of us up? Why can’t you just do your job like the rest of us?”

“I’m standing up for Norman ‘cos he can’t stand up for himself.” Tom shouted. Norman shuffled his feet, not having moved from where he stood.

“You don’t give a sherbet about Norman. Think you’ve made his life easier by making an enemy of our Henry?” Tom sniffed at this, trying to ignore Vic’s astute rebuttal. “’Standing up for Norman’. No, you used him to get at Henry because that’s what you do-”

Tom had no chance to respond. The lights of the mess hall cut out and red flashed all around. The emergency alarm wailed, men scrambled to their stations. This was it. Exercises and drills had led to this moment. Vic stood and held is hand out.

“Come on, mate. Take my hand.”

“Nah, mate.” Tom stayed on the ground. “Better get on with my job like you say.”

With one last annoyed glance, Vic ran out of the mess hall. Tom launched into action. He sprinted down the narrow corridors of the Exeter as other sailors hurried past. The cry of the siren faded as blood roared in his ears. Skidding to a halt at the end of the corridor, Tom jumped the stairs of the gunroom and began removing his boiler suit. Campbell, dressed in his cap and overcoat appeared at the hatch.

“What’s the story, sir?” Tom called up, tying his sleeves around his waist and watching the others get to work.

“All you need to know is that she’s sunk nine of ours and we’re not going to be the tenth. Get on with it!”

“Got it.” Tom sped into the gunroom and stared up at the turret. Henry and Vic were already preparing the missiles for loading. They placed them in their barrels and Tom lifted each into the gun, listening with intent as they were fired beyond the steel of the ship. All around them came bangs and clatters. After the firing of three missiles, Tom’s arms were throbbing but he continued the work. All at once, the ship shuddered and an almighty bang rang deep through the gunroom. The lights flickered off.

“Fucking hell,” whispered Vic. The screams of men echoed above them.

“If that took the canary out, nobody gets a refund,” Tom laughed, trying to ease the terror in his stomach, the terror reflected in Vic’s eyes as he looked at him. More screams rent the air.

“Fucking hell,” Tom looked up and saw fire curling down the turret. The world stilled. As ash began to fall against his face, Tom watched the flames fade against the darkness and was reminded, irresistibly, of Bess’ hair. The image of her sat on the front step of her house, smoking a cigarette and lit by the setting sun was just racing through his mind when the air was sucked from the gunroom and he was thrown into the steel wall. Heat swept across Tom’s body and the ship was silent.

He was back in the Vaughn’s kitchen, watching Bess sewing Robina Chase’s red suit. A cigarette hung loosely from her lips and every so often she glanced at him, as though checking he was still there. His eyes felt heavy, and Tom felt himself drifting into sleep as the fire crackled in the grate, Bess humming along to the wireless. The snap and pop of the flames became louder, and the smoke of Bess’ cigarette stung his nostrils.

He woke with a gasp. With lungs of fire, Tom crawled to his knees and spat black tar against the ground. The room was silent but for the hum of flame.

“Vic,” His voice was hoarse from the polluted air. His friend lay next to him, unmoving, and Tom tapped his foot. “Vic,” He rolled him over and bile rose to his mouth. Vic’s once bonny face was charred beyond recognition. Plasma oozed from the cracked skin and his teeth were bared in a grisly smile. Is he handsome? Tom fought the urge to vomit as his breath came in ragged rasps. From across the room, an agonised moan sounded. Tom stood and dragged is heavy body towards the noise. It was Henry.

“Got four dead here,” Tom called out. “What about you?”

“I’m not dead,” Henry groaned, and as Tom rounded the corner, he froze. Henry was slouched against the gunroom’s loading dock, his right arm missing below the shoulder, grizzled skin dripping blood onto the floor.

“Don’t you worry, you bastard.” Tom’s mind seemed to take over his body as he grabbed a cable from the wall and crouched by the man. “You ready? Right, this is gonna hurt.” He paused for Henry but he said nothing. “Right? We’re gonna get this tied off. I’m gonna count to three-”

“Just do it,” Henry murmured as Tom placed the makeshift tourniquet around what was left of his arm.

“Right,” Tom braced himself. “One-” He tightened the tourniquet and Henry screamed as Campbell raced into the room.

“We’re gonna need a medic down here, sir.” Tom growled, looking at the bits of body strewn around him.

“The medic is in worse shape than the able seamen,” Campbell wiped his dirty brow. “We’ve lost a lot of men but we don’t seem to be sinking.”

Tom hung his head and looked at Henry. “This’ll have to do for now. Let’s get you up.” He threw Henry’s remaining arm over his shoulder and hauled him to his feet with Campbell’s help. Henry cried out and shuffled towards the ladder. “We’ll get you up these steps and, if you slip, I’ll catch you.”

Once they had carried Henry to the sickbay, Tom made his way through the ship, checking for other casualties. He moved through the smoke-filled corridors, hand in front of him as torchlight pierced the smog. Terror was sinking into his bones. Vic’s face flashed in his mind and he blinked. At every turn he feared tripping over another body. Breathing heavily, he fumbled his way around until a faint twittering pricked at his ears. There on the floor, cage upturned, was Vera. Tears filled Tom’s eyes as he righted the cage and peered in. In the corner, freckled and inconspicuous, lay an egg.

✼　 　✼　 　✼　 　✼　 　✼　 　✼

It was a typically crisp and overcast Wednesday in Manchester. Bess took the early shift that day and was sitting in the window of her bedroom, hair dripping as she dried it with a towel. Dot and Fergal were still working and, downstairs, she could hear Cora beginning dinner.

A flurry of movement caught her eye and she looked down the road to see Douglas Bennett pedalling furiously towards his house. He dropped his bicycle by the door and hurried inside. Best check on him later, she thought.

She moved from the window to the bed and lay her head on the pillow. From beneath the it she pulled out a small biscuit tin and lifted its lid. The letters she exchanged with Tom could no longer be contained in Bess’ books, and so she hid them under the bed with her box of buttons and ribbon. Tom’s face peered up at her from the top of the pile and she reached out for him. A violent shiver ran down her back and her blood ran cold. Bess stared back at him as ice prickled at her skin.

“Bess? I’ve been knocking,” Bess jolted and slammed the lid of the tin. Cora held the bedroom door in a white-knuckled grip, her doe eyes wide with concern. They glanced momentarily at the biscuit tin but she said nothing.

“What is it?” Bess’ voice was barely above a whisper.

Cora swallowed. “The Exeter,” her voice wobbled. “It’s been hit.”

Neither spoke. Not for a while. Not until Bess choked on the air. “Oh, my darling-” Cora made to move towards her sister but Bess was faster. She pelted from the room and down the stairs, slipped on her work boots and Albie’s overcoat before running into the yard. She wrestled her bike from the fence and cycled to the only place she could think of.

“Dadda?” Bess called out when she reached the dockyard, frantically searching for her father. A few people gave her pitying looks, and one man whistled at the sight of her in her nightdress and overcoat. “Dadda? Fergal Vaughn? Has anyone seen Fergal Vaughn?”

“Bess?” The voice came from behind her. She dismounted from the bike and watched her father emerge from a cabin, cup of tea in hand. He took in her ashen face and his cup fell to the floor. “My God,” he was striding towards her, hands outstretched. “What’s happened? What’s happened to my boy?”

“Nothing, Dadda,” Bess whispered weakly and her body slackened in front of him. Fergal caught her before she fell to the ground.

“What is it then, my girl?” He cupped her face in his large, calloused hands. “Tell me, my darling.” Concern overcame his face as he watched her.

“It’s Tom-” An ugly sob ripped her throat. “The Exeter-” And another. She had no need to say more, for Fergal had wrapped her in his arms and begun rocking her back and forth.

“Come. Let’s get you home.” The few onlookers watching the scene retreated as Fergal picked his daughter’s bike up from the ground. “Sit on the saddle, I’ll wheel you home like I used to.”  

The night had darkened by the time Fergal wheeled the bike onto their street. Lampposts were flickering into life, and his daughter’s sobs had subsided. She sat limply on the saddle, breathing deeply though still shaking. They came to rest outside the front door and Bess moved to stand. Cora opened it before Fergal could retrieve his keys, and behind her Bess saw Dot perched on the staircase.

“A pot of tea, I think.” Fergal stepped inside and removed his coat. Dot moved to the kettle. One of Bess’ booted feet was barely over the threshold when a muffled cry caused them all to freeze. What followed were a series of loud crashes and more shouting.

“STOP! STOP IT” The voice was shouting. More crashes sounded.

“Douglas,” Bess whispered and ran across the street. The front door was unlocked, and Bess entered in time to see Douglas pick up the wireless and throw it against the table, copper wire spilling from the splintered wood.

“I want him back,” Douglas’ voice broke as he shouted. “I want him back! I want my boy back!” Bess ran to him and gripped his arms. He folded into a chair and his body heaved as tears mingled with the salty tracks already coating his face. She held him tightly, cooing and soothing him as he shook.

“Douglas.” Fergal’s voice was firm. Bess watched as her father entered the kitchen and placed a hand on his friend’s back. “You’ll stay with us tonight.” It was a statement, not a question. Douglas nodded in Bess’ arms and stood to be led away. Bess turned down the paraffin lamp and followed her father back into the house. Cora was already pouring five cups of tea when Douglas slumped into the armchair. Dot ran downstairs with a blanket and draped it across his shoulders, before wrapping her arms around him. Bess joined her, as did Cora. The Vaughn girls took Douglas in their arms, and Fergal watched with pride as fear for his own son worried his nerves.  

✼　 　✼　 　✼　 　✼　 　✼　 　✼

The HMS Exeter juddered through the South Atlantic, aflame but afloat. Tom Bennett made his solitary way along the upper deck, glancing at the debris of ship and sailor as he did so. Coughing, he came across a row of tarpaulins. Hammocks. Each was bundled and he knew that beneath were the bodies of the crew. The breeze from the water had blown one away and Tom paused as he looked down at the man. It was Vic.

“I’m sorry.” Tom said as he knelt beside Vic’s body. “I should have shook your hand.” With bloodied hands, Tom covered his face and stilled for a while.

“Didn’t have you down for the praying type, Bennett.” Campbell approached him with a cigarette. He didn’t offer one to Tom.

“I wasn’t praying sir.” Tom stood. “I wouldn’t give God the work. He’s got enough on his plate sorting this shit out.”

Campbell nodded. “Hell of a crew. I’m proud of every one of you. You took part in a famous victory today, Bennett. You should be very proud.”

“Yes, sir.” He felt sick. “I am, sir.” Campbell left him to his thoughts, and Tom looked around. Bloodied and battered men lined the deck railings, and he could barely distinguish one from another. One sailor still had his cap on perfectly and was attending to some of the wounded.

“Oi, Terry. Your winnings mate.” Terry watched Tom approach, bemused. “You were as near eleven hundred hours. Well done, yeah?”

Terry didn’t move. After a moment, he said “I can’t take this. Half the lads who bet on it are dead.”

“Well, you can do what you like with your half. All the lads put in fair and square. It’s our money now.”

Terry eyed him. “Well, I think we should give it to the widows. Or the chaplain or something-”

“We’re in the Atlantic.” Tom wanted to scream. “Off a country I’ve never heard of, chasing a ship I can’t even fucking pronounce.”

“What has any of that got to do with the money?” Terry asked in disbelief.

“Vic’s dead,” Tom said simply. “And I never got to shake his hand. The world’s fucked mate, so look after number one.”

Terry laughed bitterly and thrust the coin purse at Tom’s chest. “Keep the fucking lot.” Hot panic flushed Tom’s cheeks and his chest began to heave. He had to get out. One way or another.  

✼　 　✼　 　✼　 　✼　 　✼　 　✼

“Our Father, who art in Heaven, hallowed be thy name,” the crew chorused in solemn unison. Those who remained uninjured hadn’t slept through the night, working to put out the fire and prevent the ship from sinking. Tom stood by the gun turret, eyes bloodshot and unmoving as he listened to the men praying. He didn’t join in. Despondent and weary, when Campbell had finished the memorial service, he made his way below deck to the sickbay.

He glanced around but could see no sign of the man he was looking for. Cap in one hand and coin purse in the other, he moved through the cramped deck, between injured men and those assisting them. Someone passed him a cigarette and he took a puff. As he handed it back, his target came into view. Arm bandaged, and gazing sadly through the porthole by his bunk, was Henry. He seemed to sense someone’s eyes on him, for he inclined his head as Tom moved forward and placed the money in his lap.

“I know it won’t go far, but you need it more than me so-” Tom trailed off. Henry watched him. He’d never known Tom Bennett so quiet.

“Thank you for seeing me right after it happened,” he nodded to the covered remnants of his arm. Tom shook his head as though saving another man’s life was nothing.

“Graf Spee has sunk,” he said finally.

“What, did we hit her?”

“Nah, captain scuttled his own ship so we couldn’t take her. Shot himself. Don’t know if that counts as one for us, what with it being an own goal-”

“Shut your noise, will you?” Henry hissed, though it made Tom smile. There was a moment’s more silence.

“Don’t tell anyone I’ve done this,” Tom said softly to Henry.

“Yeah, I’ve heard they’ve been giving you grief about the money.”

 “Yeah, well I ain’t doing it for the lads.” Tom was quick to correct him. “I’m doing it for Vic. Sort of soppy thing he’d do, isn’t it?”

Henry nodded, and Tom continued. “This doesn’t make us mates.”

“No,” Henry half-smiled. “Thank you for the money.” The smile Tom returned was gentle and genuine. He nodded to Henry’s arm.

“Maybe you could put it towards a hook?” Before Henry could retort, Tom meandered away and out of sight. A moment later, he returned.

“Could you lend us a few bob, Henry?”

“Jesus Christ-”

“Not for me!” Tom held up a placating hand. “Just need a little to send home.” Henry handed over sixpence and Tom touched his cap. She’ll have to get a photo now, he thought.

Note: Hitler’s Only Got One Ball was a British war song. This was hard to write because there is so much dialogue in the show. Watching it back closely to get the transcript, there are a few moments where you can see Tom beginning to panic. So well acted by EM! Next chapter should be up soon. I know I said it last time, but I’m so excited about the next couple of chapters!

Tags: @aemonds-wifey @multiple-fandoms-girl @jessssica1234 @babyblue711 @anditsmywholeheart @allthefandomtherapy @valerie977 @bookwyrmsblog @phantomontheinternet @chainsawsangel @greenowlfactif @thelittleswanao3 @yentroucnagol @beiigegalx @skikikikiikhhjuuh @just-emmaaaa

[marginaletchings]

Apropos of nothing: I think people see Stella as "underdeveloped" because of 3 reasons:

A lot of people understandably get upset at cheating partners and sympathize with the partner who was cheated on-- sometimes to a degree they become blind to the nuances of why someone would pursue a partner outside an exclusive relationship in the first place.

Her lack of screentime.

People claiming she was "suddenly" nothing but abusive. ExCUSE me???

Warning for discussion of abuse, child abuse, childhood trauma:

The thing is... people seem to forget how verbally abusive she was for years. Stolas said it himself, and we SEE her loudly going on and on and on about his apparent lack of abilities in bed. I see fans happy to note that she's married "without consent" (as though this isn't also the case for Stolas???) and fail to understand that she is still clearly using him for status. If she were emotionally involved AT ALL, ever, do you really think she'd be going on and on about their sex life?? It would be humiliating in any other circumstance except where she uses it as leverage to demean her husband. All she's ever done is take her shit out on him. Stolas seeking comfort from someone else--albeit through dubious means--is his escape from that abuse and loneliness.

For the screentime: Tons of screentime or a lack of it isn't a good metric for how "deep" a character is. I'm also not gonna lie, not all characters need to be DEEP-- we have a fuckton of characters throughout media who are cruel, petty, and mean, but for some reason we still get to see them in a sympathetic woobified light. Stella, in my opinion, could use more screen time, sure, but do we really need to see her ~angsty backstory~ about how tragic it is that she was married to Stolas? Or maybe we could just admit, like, some people are just mean and miserable and can't take the level of shit they dish out to others. She's not angry he "betrayed" her, she's angry he's doing something she sees as disgusting and potentially ruinous to her status and standing in society.

Finally, I want to point out how she's clearly always had a terrible temper, Stolas points out she's been verbally and emotionally abusive for years, presumably the whole marriage, and she clearly neglects Octavia at "BEST." In little Octavia's room, we can see pictures she's drawn with just her and Stolas. We also see Stolas sigh when Stella tells Stolas to go to Octavia when she wakes up from a nightmare--that always came off to me like a parent absolutely frustrated with the lack of effort another parent is putting into raising their kid.

Stella is ABSENT from Octavia's life and always WAS-- Octavia is nothing to her except a means to an end. What's worse, is Octavia clearly has abandonment issues--gee I wonder why that is (Stella)--and they manifest in her fear of losing Stolas, too.

Not to get too personal here, but my parents had a similar dynamic in terms of my mom is a raging toxic shitbag and my dad is a sensitive man trying to make things work for the sake of his kid(s). I want to point out some (imo) important points here:

Stella having more "nuance" doesn't change the fact that she's still a toxic, gold-digging maniac. Regardless of her circumstances, which have always been privileged, she still chooses to be this way.

Octavia's fear really hits close to home for me. I was always close to my dad, I was the baby, the only girl and youngest by six years, and my mother was abusive and neglectful--when I was five they fought almost every night and once my mom threatened my dad with a steak knife. I grew up having nightmares into high school about being in a moving car and suddenly both my parents vanished, leaving the car without a driver on busy roads or precarious cliff edges. The fear that my dad might suddenly decide to abandon/neglect me just like my mom was an irrational but extremely understandable fear that I am STILL working through in therapy at the age of 34. Octavia actually makes me feel seen and heard in number of ways, and it drives me crazy that y'all will make excuses for Stella "only" neglecting Octavia. Fuck OFF with that.

No one thinks Stolas is without fault. Neither he nor Stella wanted that marriage on an emotional level, but judging by their behavior, and how cunning and driven Stella is (she has nuance, y'all just don't want to see it because it doesn't make her your pathetic babygirl, but an independent, conniving and ruthless demoness) she likely would've been more on board by the time they came of age and were married. Time to get power and money! And with Stolas trying to make things "normal" for Octavia, I cannot see Stella being interested in playing along. Stolas kind of just lay down and took it for years, didn't have the courage to suck it up and boot her out once Octavia was born, and started the affair with Blitz without actually using his brain beforehand.

Like. Don't get me wrong: I LIKE Stella. I hate, loathe, want to kick the teeth of people who act like her but I enjoy her as a character. Let this bitch be petty, cruel, conniving, all about living her best life (no matter the cost), and a screaming karen. Let her be Cersei Lannister, for fuck's sake: All of the above, and not as smart as she thinks she is, but she's got determination in SPADES to get what she wants.

I'll never understand why y'all are so mad about her other than just wanting more screen time. But don't let me catch you going "it's just neglect, other people had worse" or what the fuck ever. Also, her being awful doesn't make Stolas look good, it just makes the whole situation sad.

Two fucked up and extremely flawed adults are both hurting their child, but at least ONE of those adults actually gives a shit. It's a low as fuck bar, but it's Hell's royalty, idk what y'all were expecting.

PS: People who want to get shitty about this and not act like civil g-damn adults are gonna get blocked. I work 45-50 hours a week and use a cane, I am in too much pain and too tired for dumb bullshit. Y'all can either disagree politely or earn a hard block from me.

[elisysd]

57. Lately she's been dressing for revenge

Masterlist - Previously - Next

Chapter soundtrack: Vigilante Shit - Taylor Swift

Out of all the three American races, Austin was the one Julia loved the most. She loved the atmosphere, the fun activities that were always happening around the track, and of course she loved the race. She always found it exciting. That’s why, sitting on her sofa, ready to watch the qualifying with her brother and her mom felt bittersweet. Bitter because she wanted nothing more but to be there with her friends, especially since it was Kyle’s first home race of the year, and sweet because, after all, she was still home with the people she loved the most.

“Is Ethan going to win again?” asked Louis, a glass of apple juice in his hand.

“I don’t think so, Ethan is not very confident for the weekend.” Julia replied.

And Ethan’s instincts were confirmed at the end of the Q1, seeing both Maserati out respectively P16 and P18, but Julia noticed Romy’s car in the ones not able to make it through the first session. P20, her worst result since the beginning of the season. Julia promised herself to call her as soon as the qualifying would be over, especially after seeing her defeated expression during her interviews.

After an hour, it was finally Elijah, followed by Kyle and Martin, who managed to get the pole. It was a nice opportunity for Ferrari to put some pressure on Lamborghini but Julia also knew that Kyle wasn’t a soon-to-be third times world champion for nothing and that he wouldn’t go down without a fight. It would be a disputable race the next day and she couldn’t wait for it.

When she was sure that her friends were done with the media and race strategy meeting, she isolated herself in the patio to call her best friend.

“I feel like shit, really, this won’t be my weekend. I have no sensations with the car and Kyle’s mom did a number on me and I don’t know how to react.”

“What is happening?”

“Kyle’s childhood best friend is here. His mom insisted that Kyle send an invite.”

“And it’s a problem because….”

“Because she is his ex-girlfriend! His first love! And believe me, his mom made sure that I understood really well how nice she was, how perfect she had always been for her son and how she had always pictured them married. I can’t wait to have you in Vegas, I need to feel like I have someone in my corner!” Romy whined.

“Have you talked to Kyle about his mom?”

“To tell him what? Baby, I feel like your mom hates me and wants us to break up as fast as possible? Please, Julia… I don’t want him to have to feel like he has to choose between me and his mom. Oh, and do you know what she had the audacity to tell me? Kyle's eyesight disease was getting worse because I was stressing him out. That if I wasn’t a racing driver, he would get better or at least it wouldn’t get worse. That he deserved someone who was making his life easier and not worse. That…”

She heard a gasp on the other side of the line, before Romy apologized for having to hang up so suddenly. Julia didn’t need to ask to know that Kyle might have overheard their conversation. She contemplated Bailey playing outside with a wood stick as her phone started to ring. Her dad’s name appeared on the screen and she wondered what he might want.

“Have you watched quali?” He first asked, voice filled with happiness and pride.

“I did. Congrats. Tomorrow will be tough, though.”

“Any opinion on how we should handle the situation?”

“Well… To try to keep the advantage in the first laps. It will be tough because Kyle never misses his start, it’s probably one of the thing is the best at. So, maybe Martin could just try to push him to his limits so he doesn’t have any other chance but to defend. It will kind of sacrifice Martin but we seem to bet better than Lambo with our tyres management recently. So, with a little chance, Kyle will be forced to pit earlier than us.”

“And in that case, we could create a gap between our cars and the rest of the grid. I have to talk to Martin about it, it’s his race that we will sacrifice, I want to make sure he is on board.”

“I mean, whether he likes it or not, we always privileged the driver who was on pole.” she said, shrugging.

Her dad couldn’t talk much with her, explaining that he had to talk to a few mechanics to make some adjustments on the cars and left her. She had still one phone call to make and she feared it wouldn’t be a pleasant one. As she expected, she was welcomed by a very moody Ethan.

“I mean, of course I can’t do my best when I have a fucking tractor with me! Have you seen how slow it was and how I couldn’t even drive it properly? I’ve been kicked out from Q1 by Skoda, Julia! Skoda! The team who barely scored any points this year and will finish last in the constructor’s standing! I know you worked for them and I know you’re still friends with Niels and Noah but come on, they shouldn’t have made it through Q1! Now I’m going to start from the back and I hate that.”

“Hey, breathe. Focus on trying to not get too caught up in traffic tomorrow. Have a clean start, with a clean race. You know the podium will most likely not happen and it’s fine. Just try to make it into points.”

“Yeah… easy with an undriveable car.” he mumbled.

“Have faith.”

“I don’t need faith, I need a good strategy and a good car.”

���You know you’re quicker than the guys in front, you have no real opponents there. It should be easy. And most of all, you’re a top driver in a mid-field car and usually this pairing can work wonders on tracks.”

“I skipped the meeting,” he confessed. “I didn’t want to go there angry and say things I would regret.”

“But and the strategy…”

“Tomorrow. And maybe in the meantime I’ll be able to come up with one that won’t be too shitty. Anyway… tell me about your day. Have you been able to work on your presentation?” he changed the subject as she could hear him shifting on what she guessed was his bed.

“Kind of. It’s hard to keep it concise, I want to talk about so many things…”

“You’ll find the way. Don’t worry too much, they will love the project.”

She spent her next morning in front of her computer, working on her presentation and taking notes on the side before trying to come up with a budget plan to see how much it would cost. She felt dizzy when she noticed that it would probably cost millions and wondered if the FIA would be really ready to spend that much on a project that she had no idea was really doable or even if it would be something teams would want to be part of and if kids would be interested.

She stopped right as the race was about to start. As usual, her mom was wearing an old Ferrari cap and she was surprised to see Louis in Ethan’s merchandising. She suddenly felt bad and ran to her room to put on the shirt a fan had once gifted her, the one where Ferrari and Maserati colors were mixed. She saw her mom smiling when she came back but didn’t dare to comment on it. They got ready and when the lights went out, Julia grabbed a pillow, pulling it against her, hoping nothing would happen in the first corner. Thankfully, nothing bad happened. Ethan had gained two positions which wasn’t bad but what was worrying Julia was that Romy was still last, despite a start from the pitlane. There was definitely something wrong with her driving as her teammate didn’t seem to struggle as much as her. So it wasn’t really surprising for Julia to see her friend retiring the car, halfway through the race.

In front, the strategy she had advised her dad to use had been effective until a badly executed pit stop cost Elijah his first place and with Martin still on used tyres, she knew that he wouldn’t be able to hold Kyle back who was on freshly new ones. The American finally managed to lead the race fifteen laps before the end of the race, under a roaring crowd who exalted when he finally drove in front of them. Elijah and Martin were still in the fight but it was almost sure that Kyle would win his home Grand Prix. She focused on Ethan to see him struggling behind Niels’ Skoda. He was P12, clearly not what he would like to be but she didn’t know how he could. When it was finally over, she was happy for her dad even if her advice had not worked as good as she had expected but disappointed for her friends. She saw Kyle rushing to his family before searching for Romy who was watching from afar. Even in front of a broadcast she could read the frustration written all over her face. When the celebrations were finally over, her mom decided to order pizza, to finally have a calm family night without unnecessary drama. Julia suspected that it was also to avoid her overthinking her meeting the next day. Meeting she wasn’t sure she was one hundred percent ready for, but she hoped that it would be enough.

She had borrowed her mom's clothes trying to feel a little more confident but as she was waiting for the meeting to start, she had never felt more out of place. She was so enthusiastic about her project, so sure it could bring something great to the sport that the idea of failing was terrorizing her.She didn’t know what she would do if the FIA was telling her that they wouldn’t go forward with her. But she didn’t have much time to think about it as Lewis’ face appeared on her screen, soon joined by the other representatives of the Federation and the vice-president himself. She gulped as she tried her best to memorize the names and functions of each one of them. Noticing she also was the only woman in the room, she quickly understood that it was going to be tough. When it was finally her time to talk after a very long introduction, she explained exactly what she had told Lewis, but this time adding graphs and percentages about the number of women in motorsport as well as the number of people of color and disabled ones. Numbers that were ridiculously low.

“And finally, I thought about creating a FIA scholarship for kids who were really talented and could actually go to big universities but might not be able to for financial reasons. The scholarship could be given by the FIA alongside team principals. It would give another reason for these kids to really give their all. And, that’s all for me… if you have questions, I would be happy to answer them.”

When Lewis was the only one clapping and thanking her she knew that her worst fear was about to happen. And when the very few questions she got were more about her and not about the projects, she already had the reason why they were about to tell her no. The final blow came from the Vice-President.

“You see, Miss, you got yourself quite the reputation here after the rumors coming from your implication in Ferrari’s cheating scandal. Even though we don’t have any proof, the allegations are still there and I’m not sure it’s a great idea to have you working in an environment where you could be tempted to find information you could give to your dad. I’m not saying you would… but it’s a possibility I’m not ready to explore. And you’re young, barely have any experience and the little you have didn’t end well. Wilhelm didn’t have a lot of nice things to say regarding your work and about your attitude. Giving you such a high responsibility with leading and organizing a project like that, as interesting as it is, might be too much pressure for you to handle. And we have no proof, for sure, that it’s a project that is worth investing our time and money into.”

“With all due respect, mister the Vice-President, I had a talk with Julia before this official meeting and I could see how much effort and research she put into it. I don’t think it’s a good idea to reject her proposal on the sole reason that she is too young and isn’t deemed trustworthy. Sometimes, you have to give someone a chance.” Lewis intervened.

“I know how inclusion and diversity are important for you Lewis and maybe you're biased too by the affection you have to Miss Leclerc and her father, but I’m not confident enough to give her such a big responsibility. At least not now, and to be honest, with the new regulations we are preparing for the next two years, I don’t have the time to think about the fate of kids.” he finished in a laugh.

It was a slap she hadn’t been ready to receive, no matter how she had prepared herself for the eventuality. But showing them how hurt she felt was out of the question. She quickly got back her composure before staring at the camera.

“Well… it’s sad but, I’m sure that if you don’t want that idea, someone else will be happy to help.”

“And who, exactly? It’s not like you had the abilities to do that all by yourself, you need support, Miss Leclerc.”

“I guess, it’s my problem now and not yours. Thank you for your time. Saying that it had been a delight to have this conversation would be lying, so I might as well not say anything. Goodbye sirs.” she said, hanging up, her chin high.

She closed her eyes and breathed deep. On the bright side, she would have something to talk to her therapist in the afternoon. When she exposed him to the situation, he didn’t seem very surprised.

“From what I gathered with everything you told me, it’s still a very sexist environment. It doesn’t come as a surprise that you’ve been rejected. The question now is, are you going to give up or are you going to prove them wrong?”

“Working on this project, thinking about it, doing research, talking about it and seeing how excited people felt and how interested they were… I don’t see myself giving up. I can’t. It’s something important to me, it became important. I’ll find another way. I don’t know how and I don’t know what I will do, but I’ll come up with something.”

When she got out of her therapist’s office she was surprised to see a new message from Lewis telling her how sorry he was about the meeting but that he believed in her project and was ready to help her. She just had to inform him on her next steps. She thanked him and Lewis told her that he was glad to see a real inclusive project emerging and if the FIA wasn’t ready to help her, it was their own choice but it didn’t mean that he had to follow.

Her mom wasn’t surprised either when Julia explained what had happened. She laconically said that she expected it but naively thought that the arrival of Romy and Chloe as F1 drivers had meant a change in mentality in the Federation. She was sad to see that the years might pass by, the same societal issues were remaining.

“Mom, can I ask you a question?”

“Of course.”

“Was it hard to create your charity?”

“A lot of sleepless nights and a lot of tears. Ask your father. And it was even tougher that you were a toddler back then. Why?”

“Because, I don’t want to give up on my idea. I feel like it’s something good and I need to do it. It’s probably the first time that I feel like I could make a change somewhere, I want to make a difference out there. But I don’t know where to start, the FIA was the easy way in. I’m not sure I have enough knowledge to start something on my own.”

“I didn’t have any knowledge when I started mine, just the idea to provide mental health support and career advice to young women in the entertainment industry. The first thing you need to do, after defining your plans, is to find people who would be onboard to join you. You need support. People willing to help you, offering financing. It’s a lot of networking and it’s time consuming.”

“I don’t care, I just want to start somewhere. Networking doesn’t scare me, it’s everything else that feels so overwhelming.”

“Maybe I can help you…. Maybe for a while, your association could be under mine as a partner, another branch. Mental health and inclusivity can be linked together. I would give you full independence in whatever you want to do and you would have access to an already established financial, marketing, communication and law departments. Best of both worlds. But, just to be clear, you’re in charge of everything, I’m not helping you with anything, you have access to resources but that’s it, you’re responsible for all choices and decisions, I’m not intervening.”

“I have to think about it but, thanks.” Julia said, hugging her mom.

Talking to her mom and knowing she had the choice to get her help without feeling like she was using her for her connections reassured her a little bit. Exhausted by her day, she fell on her bed as soon as she crossed her bedroom’s door. She had a few texts from her dad, telling her that her strategy might have been the good one if the pitstop had been successful and she smiled. Ethan had also texted her, saying that he wasn’t feeling very proud of himself and that he was feeling his insecurities of not being enough coming back. Some media outlets were talking of his win in Spa as a stupid beginner's luck. She called him and he picked up almost immediately. It didn’t need much from her side to make him talk about his feelings. She silently listened to him, reacting to his words when she felt like it was needed and when he stopped, she could hear that he felt better.

“So, tell me how it went with the FIA.”

She told him and when it was over she heard him sigh on the other end of the line and didn’t exclude her mom’s offer, telling him how she was hesitating.

“Bastards. Always have been and always will. I think you should take up on your mom’s offer. I mean, it’s the quickest way to achieve what you want to do”

“I know. And it’s not as if she was doing everything for me. I would need to do all the work and I can come to her for advice but I know she will let me figure things out by myself. I wanted to ask, just to make sure, I have you onboard for this project, right?”

“Of course, you don’t even have to ask. I can also talk to Kyle about it. As the Grand Prix Driver Association’s director, he has a little bit of weight on decisions taken. Not sure how much but he could be able to give you names of people you can talk to. I can also talk to some team principals, if you want.”

“No. I mean, I appreciate that you want to help, really, but I also want to do this by myself.”

“Once stubborn, always stubborn…” he mumbled. “But fair enough, that’s your thing, you want to defend it.”

“Yeah and it gives me time to prepare a speech to each of them. I'll be there for Vegas, anyway so it will come fast enough. I’m not in a rush.”

“Suit yourself, just know that I stand by what I said, if you need me, I’ll be there.”

“And I know I will use it when it comes handy.”

“That’s what friends are for, Joolsie.”

Every time the word friend was coming out of his mouth, Julia was feeling like a stab in her heart. She knew she had to prove herself trustworthy, she knew all the history they shared and all their problems were yet to be totally overcome, but still, it hurt.

“But are we? Friends, I mean.” she asked.

“Julia… You know what I said. I still do, love you, I don’t think I will ever stop loving you. I’m just more cautious when it comes to you, now. I’m not saying that we will never happen, Joolsie, just that… yeah, I need you to grovel a little bit.” he laughed. “And I want to take it slow. We rushed everything and I think it’s part of why it didn’t and couldn’t work, we didn’t start the most conventional way.”

“I’m aware that I need to prove myself to you but I already told you that I intend to show you that I can fight for you.”

“I can’t wait to see that. What have you planned?”

“It wouldn’t be funny if you knew.”

“Are you saying that little miss control freak would actually consider doing big gestures? I’m shocked.”

“I love you.” she blurted out, a little unexpected but she was surprised how easy it was to tell him. And he was also caught off guard judging by the silence that fell. “Ethan?”

“You shouldn’t say things like that. It’s blurring the lines between friendship and whatever we’re supposed to be but are not ready.”

“So you can say it but not me?”

“I can say it because I’m ready and I’m sure of myself. However you are still…”

“Unreliable and not trustworthy. It’s fine. I understand.” she finished, bitter, but understanding where it was coming from.

“Pretty much.”

“Well, I meant it, brace yourself. I’m going to prove to you that I’m two hundred percent sure of what I want. At least when it comes to us. I’ve always known, deep down, but was too stupid to admit it. But if there is a slight chance that I can fix what I’ve broken, you can be sure that I will take it. I’m very serious.”

“I believe you. Maybe I should be careful in Vegas… Next thing I know you will drag me in the first Elvis you’ll find and we will be married.”

“Is that a challenge?”  she asked in a playful tone.

“You wouldn’t dare.”

“I guess you will just have to wait and see.”

Author's note: Fucking FIA.

What do you think will happen next? Let me know your theories, I love to read them.

Don't hesitate to leave a comment or an ask, as well as reblogging and leaving a like. Besides the fact that I absolutely love to read you, it helps a lot for the story to find its audience. I also have a taglist for this story, so if you want to be added so you never miss a chapter, let me know.

Taglist:

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[captain-astors]

H, J, and P?

H - What is your favorite source text for fandom stuff (e.g., TV shows, movies, books, anime, Western animation, etc.)?: It really depends on what I’ve heard, but typically I prefer to read the manga if I really care about the story/want to get through it faster! However there are some cases like Land of the Lustrous or Jujutsu Kaisen where the animation is so good that I start with what’s out of the anime, then go back and read it to ensure I don’t miss any details. Or alternatively, I go to the anime if I just want it as a background story while I draw. I’ve been doing that with Attack on Titan recently, it was a lot better than I anticipated so I presume the general negative opinion I’ve heard derived from its overpopularity not the quality itself? Or maybe it gets really problematic or something, haven’t finished it yet. As for Movies Vs. Books it’s a similar situation, but I prefer books more generally.

J - Name a fandom you didn’t think about until tumblr: Honestly, I’ve been introduced to a good portion of my recent fandoms by a friend of mine first, and then convinced to actually start them by tumblr art/my mutuals (mostly Quinn) so if I had to think of something that was genuinely introduced to me here… Good Omens? Haven’t watched it but I see them on my dash constantly. Oh also Witch Hat Atelier!

P - Invent a random AU for any fandom (we always need more ideas): Tokyo Ghoul obviously,

maybe an AU where all the folks pulling strings and playing king (Arima, Kaneki, Furuta, Eto) somehow end up in a very uneasy alliance to take down V for good. They argue over the ultimate goal constantly, they all hate at least two of the others, nothing’s really going well but they do get stuff done… somewhat, but they hate each other’s methods and tend to end up fighting after ever decision, and very rarely consulting each other before. The only thing keeping them united is a common goal and wanting to die.

AU where Haise is sent with the Quinx to deal with Noro instead of capturing Shuu on the roof. Shirazu doesn’t die, neither does Kanae (unless Eto decides to dispose of them?) but also, Haise never stops dreaming. But, a King is needed anyways and thus he ends up tentatively playing the role despite shironeki continuing to insist he be let out. I thought this one up right now and I haven’t considered consequences to this yet, but I like it as a concept.

Don’t think I’m inventing this but, AU where someone, legitimately anyone, comes to rescue Kaneki in time, hopefully helping him steer away from the mindset of “No one is able to help me”

AU where Juuzou and Hanbee are a little too effective and end up actually killing Kaneki (or injuring him to the point where he’s unable to dragon-ify even after taking a bite out of Hajime, leaving him only with the strength to flee) effectively throwing a wrench in everyone’s plans.

Not an AU but do you ever think about the fact that every single crucial event in Tokyo Ghoul wouldn’t have happened if Tsuneyoshi was just actually a good dad.

AU where everyone has actually decent parents (This one’s a joke but I actually cannot conceive of it.)

AU were Hide, Kimi, or someone else is the person to get Ghoul’d instead of Kaneki and the consequences thereof.

Very self-indulgent AU where Koori gets kidnapped by Aogiri instead of/in addition to Amon or Takizawa (mostly just writing this here because I’d like to draw it maybe, thematically I’m not really even sure it would work for him to begin with, but I like drawing theoretical ghouls.)

Also not really inventing this but I’d also like to draw a Pokémon AU some time.