#if j only told you then it means i dont want it told to anyone else??? and yet you decided to pull off these stupid stunts because its funny

[imnooneyouknow]

you’re proving my point that i cant trust you with anything

[nikethestatue]

Hello! I just found your blog today and really enjoy it! I'm new to Sarah j maas. I just finished Cc after reading acotar this summer. Then I came online to the fandom this month and I've been very confused. I see all this claims that az will be with bryce or that az and gwyn are mates. Completely ignoring elain like she doesn't exist and ignoring what az wants which is what sarah wrote. I thought gwyn was nice, But gwyn is a very new character right? And I remember az maybe talking to her in the training group a few times and he was often grumpy and quiet and sometimes quite happy with their improvement, and a little calm and friendly. Just normal and professional like a teacher. Didnt think much about it. I never thought about az and gwyn in the same thought. It makes no sense to be mates from that. Very strange. I thought it is a fandom ship, like dramionie, but it was serious.

Did i miss somethint?. I don't understand where it comes from but i dont want to be mean. I found azriels bonus chapter last week because a gwynriel person told me about it. I was even more shocked they think azriel and gwyn are mates when I read it. I knew azriel and elain would be a couple but I actually didn't know azriel was already that obsessed. I really liked it for elain. After what men did to her I want that kind of love for elain. Someone who really really wants her. Azriel has always been kind and good to elain and I'm very happy about elain and azriel even more now. He and nesta are the only ones that defended elain out loud by saying that elain doesnt want lucien, which is true. The necklace is mysterious and made me sad that rhys interrupted but it makes sense. It is like Nesta kicked cassian in their chapter when they almost kissed. Some interruption and obstacle. Did I misunderstand the books? I hope not because I loved elain and azriel in the books. They slowly became my favorite. I became sad after coming into the fandom and hearing many cruel things about elain.

I read acotar slowly and in peace on my own and i slowly and steady became sure elain and azriel would be next book. It was how Sarah wrote. did I misunderstand everything? Sorry, maybe all this fandom claims that hit me this month has made me too confused since i just read all the books recently. I read all books in English but it isn't my language so maybe I missed important things. I understad english very well but dont express myself well. I think i became a little sad when I came into the fandom. I dont enjoy this fandom. It is very aggressive but I want to talk peacefully and just enjoy the books. Sorry for writing so long. I hope i didn't sound mean. Sometimes I express too bluntly in English.

Hey Anon!

Thank you. And no, you didn't misunderstand anything. You read the books and you got exactly what you were supposed to have gotten out of them.

I've been in this fandom for a long time, and I'll be honest, to this day, I am baffled by how some people misconstrue the text so badly. SJM is not a complete writer with themes and language that's difficult to understand. She is pretty basic, actually. So anyone who claims that there are all these shocking SECRET things in her books about couples or word is either willfully ignorant or tries to pull the wool over people's eyes.

And while I can sort of, kind of, understand where Gwynriel came from--a new female in the series, dislike for Elain, Azriel and Gwyn being single, Emerie being hinted at as a lesbian, them being in the same vicinity, etc. To this day, I CANNOT understand Bryceriel. I think it was born on Reddit. But it's one of the more bizarre ships out there, not only because they are from different worlds, with very different roles in their worlds, but also one is mated and another is in love with someone else. Do I understand Gwynriel? Yeah, I can understand. Bryceriel? Not so much. Because if bonds don't matter, if love doesnt matter, then why not just pain Azriel with Nesta???? It makes more sense than Bryceriel.

I don't think that you need to worry--Elriel has been set up consistently, SJM never wavered from them, she only pushed Elriel even more in ACOSF. They are also the two characters who are entwined with numerous storylines and can push the plot of the series forward.

It's hard to shut out the noise about GA and Bryceriel, but it's been very muted and minimized in the past 2 years, and especially this last year. Be thankful that you weren't in this fandom in 21-22. It was rough.

All we can do now is sit back and wait for the book to be announced and published.

[fudanshidoublevision]

Double Vision as a father.

Ray better kill him before Double puts his bloody claws on MC and even thinks of forming a family with them. /j

Dude, no, imagine being his CHILD, i feel sorry for anyone who has Double as some type of...paternal figure, LMFAO.

Experiencing parenthood isn't on my “to-do list”. Plus having a child, on this ECONOMY? I'm good.

Parenting is a humbling experience, my parents had taught me AND told me that. Well, that is certainly my fault because I was the devil reincarnated when I was a kid— but they still call me their little devil so not much has changed I guess. ( ͡°з ͡°)

But in this scenario...even if the circumstances aren't ideal, I believe that anyone can do their best if they really want to, it's not easy. It isn't the children's fault that their parents are so troubled. (meaning, if their progenitor is Double Vision in this case, lol)

I've discussed this with my best friend once, a long time ago and they said something about how Double will view his child as a possesion and extension of himself (and yours too, because he would only care about that kid just enough 'cause you are attached to them), i kind of agree with him. But, I mean? If Double Vision has kids with MC, wouldn't that mean he is fond with the idea of having kids? I haven't mentioned nothing about him being capable of “baby trapping” you because everyone else is disposable to him but you aren't. For all he cares, he only needs to held you tight by your throat to remember that he only needs you, he doesn't want or need someone else. In this scenario, your child was planned and wanted.

Even if you loved your child, he will be uncapable of loving them back the same way you love them but he wouldn't be uncaring, dude is deranged and a major bad influence. Mostly because of the way he is and taking in consideration the fact that his parents were emotionally and psychically absent when he needed them around, it's not an excuse considering how in this similar scenario Ray didn't had NO good-present parental figures on his whole life but wants to try his best, it just kind of explains why he acts and why would he act like that. I'm not saying that Ray would be perfect at parenting a child just a bit better than Double for sure, not gonna lie Double gives me “crazy-unstable uncle” vibes.

He is not right in the head, neither i am but hey, this is not a competition for who's more deranged, so...someone has to be the relatively-stable and emotionally available parental figure. (Meaning, YOU.)

Just sane enough to not make a mini Double 2.0. Who can be worse.

He would care...and “love” (the way he “loves you” is pretty different) his own child his very particular way. Yeah, he would be cruel and a piece of shit to you but just a tiny mean and highly authoritarian towards his child.

me if our kid ever asks me why their father fucking SUCKS at giving advice and why is it always has to end up with someone getting hurt:

"Mini-me, if you ever need adivice, you can open up to me and say whatever is bothering that little head of yours. Keeping some ugly thoughts to yourself isn't good, whatever it is, I'll never judge you and you'll never scare me off....What about your dad...? Eh, he...just isn't the best giving out advice. Some people aren't good with their words...and tend to say things that are bad, sometimes it's better to do...whatever you think is right instead of following what others may "advice” you but you can always double-check with me to know if you are doing the right thing.

Why, you ask? WELL... what about if we just...OH, what if we go out for a bit? Would you like that? I'll buy you whatever you want. ANYTHING! Just...dont tell your dad, okay..."

It's sad but it's not easy to explain to children why their mom/dad/parent acts or behaves “weird” or is incapable of doing things their other parent can do.

Oh well, i believe Double's kid wouldn't question what their dad tells them to do or say because...that's their father, they don't know any better than what their parents tell them.

Double's parental skills aren't the best; he is driven by his own emotions and he is the definition of what impulsivity means. He doesn't care much about consequences and who he might hurt to achieve what he wants and what he NEEDS. (You, again, for example. He obliterated the previous Night Crew members because of your “disappearance”. He may or may not broken someone's bones and mayyybe, just maybe! I think... he threatened some people here and there to get your location.)

I thought that maybe he would use your own child as a weapon to tame you so you'll do whatever he says. Emotional manipulation and conditioning...not even that poor kid is safe from that, Double is VERY MUCH controlling and overprotective. No matter how you behave, he stills wants you but of course, he loves a defiant behavior but he can't deny that he enjoys it when you "make things easier".

After all, parents will do anything for their children, right? Oh well, I'll be guessing that you'll do that for the sake of your child. Sorry if I'm wrong.

It doesn't really matter how that child appeared or how they were conceived and brought to you two to form a family. Those little details don't matter, you'll try your best, right? No matter what. You don't have much of an option if you are with Double, I guess. ಠಿ_ಠ

But I have the feeling that this freak will be overjoyed if the kid, shares your and his blood and genes. Just another thing to reaffirm his ownership over you. I don't think he will be capable of harming his own child, psychically, I mean. Maybe he WILL threaten you and say he'll hurt your kid when you “act feisty” so you'll give up.

Double Vision wouldn't be jealous at all of his child if they take all the attention from his most beloved possession off him because they aren't simply a bit of a threat to him and that kid is just trying to bond with you, i don't think Double would even bother to get in between of the parent of his kid and his child. Unless it is to annoy you or just be insufferable, as usual.

I like the idea that he underestimates what his child is capable of doing, lol.

For my own mental peace, i didn't added details like “what if your child had abilities?”. Because I have the feeling Double will be up to NO good with that little piece of information.

But let's just sit and think about it, either way, if your child is an ability holder or not, doesn't really matter if Daddy Double is around. Anything is possible and who is he to deny his child's wish to follow his daddy's step? Villainy, I mean, lol.

He would be overjoyed and proud his child wants to be a villain, like his parents. Well, he still is a villain and MC is not longer in the business because of Double, LMAO.

If you'd like to enter a more dangerous territory well, what if his kid wanted to become a hero? Not even an option, haha.

It's not like they have one, being a villain or just a regular citizen, no child of Double is going to become a hero on his guard. He will be very open about his distaste on the wish of his child wanting to be a hero, he might be ticked off by that.

Maybe he is usually cold-headed when he interacts with his own child, I think it's enough with him having you in edge constantly, at least he wouldn't behave or treat them the same way he treats you. Even though, there are times that his patience runs thin (when annoyed or angry, not entirely directed towards his child) and could say some concerning things that his child may take to heart.

Parents knows best, I've heard from a certain someone say before.

Now, what if that child grows? Woah, they are going through the terrifying, horrifying, traumatizing, horrible phase of adolescence! Amazing, worst years of my life! ᕕ( ՞ ᗜ ՞ )ᕗ

They are slowing growing into becoming an adult, they might realize how different everything looks when you are a bit...mature, you become more aware of what's going on around you. They will notice about how some behaviors from their parents aren't normal and not what they seemed, I'm specifically talking about Double Vision but you get it.

Maybe they will develop a rocky relationship with you but I believe that no matter what they will still love you and care for you, maybe you'll become their favorite and appreciate more the way you cared for them, who knows. Maybe they will hate you because you didn't tried enough and had to choose Double Vision as their shitty dad (I think it's for the best if they didn't know the reality of your situation 😁), they will grew and distant but who knows...?

About Double, I have the feeling that for their own sake they'll ignore his dad's existence as much as they can, Double is aware of that and doesn't care that much but I won't deny that he might be annoyed by that and oh NO! They ended up being just like you and Double is going to pick on you for that and even say that is your fault why they hate him so much.

Maybe it's for the better if your kid ended up being more like you rather than Double.

Double is an only child so i believe that he'll only want one single kid but I don't think he would be opposed of having another one but MAYBE, just maybe, no!

But there's something I believe that everyone can agree on and that's on the fact that Double looks so fucking HOT with grey hair.

And oh my FUCKING God, his gloves? You can see his tattooed sleeves and his neck? I feel like a Victorian man seeing a woman's ankles for the first time. I want to break his senile back.

Conclusion, could you have kids with Double? Absolutely, will he be a good dad? Questionable but most likely, not. I think he might be like his parents, he exists but he isn't a reliable person for his kids, it's kind of difficult to come a conclusion because he is so complex to me, my opinion on him is always ever-changing.

OH YEAH, you and your child might be the only ones besides some of your family members who probably meet him wayyyyyy before, a long time ago, that know his real name. It isn't that relevant but one of the most important things a kid has to know it's their parents name and last name, right? Not that Double's real name is going to be used as much as you might think.

I wrote this solely because I had a dream where Double Vision was my uncle and he lived on my grandparents backyard??? Sick and I just wanted to post this because I spent three days of my life writing this and then chickened out.

This post in particular wasn't proofreaded (at all) by my friends that usually encourage to post my dusty drafts.

I hope you liked it, I might add some things to this post in the future...

Anyways, Haley bae is next. Maybe even Binary Star because I think having kids with him sounds scary, if you are aware of WHY ARE YOU having kids with him on the first place (canonically speaking).

How would Double actually act if he ever had a kid: /j

I had this video on repeat playing in my head while writing this.

[alchemist-shizun]

MYATB ep 11 commentary

LETS GOOOOOO, live reaction because i was at work for 6 hours right when the episode released!! enjoy me going insane

Xiaobao my son he's all grown up and trying to go about this the smart way, trying to convince Su Yin with logical reasons, he's amazing. Though Su Yin not wanting to listen to him breaks my heart, I MEAN THE WAY HE LOOKED AT HIM I THOUGHT HE WOULD COMPLY :(

i dont know what it is about them telling the horses to go but it's so fucking funny each time I hear it.

WhATS THIS RANDOM MURDER AOOO these strangers are bloodthirsty

the flying was incredibly off but it's fine we love this terrible green screen it makes it better <3

shaoyu appearing there menacingly, thank you

wdym he must get the crimson dahlia before he dies, DO U WANT TO KILL HIM AFTER AR EU NOT EVEN GONNA MAKE THE EFFORT well you know what su yin, well played, slay, I'd also be that lazy

"do you believe everything people say?" THANK YOU SIMING MY ONLY MAN EVER.

oh my god que siming stayed too much with jinbao now he's starting to lose braincells again

OOO SU YIN GAVE HIM THE COLD SHOULDER??

HUAIEN!!!!!

HUAIEN WHAT THE FUCK. NOW YOURE BOTH POISONED.

"Can you save him?" "of course I can" QUE SIMING THE ONLY MAN EVER, ONCE MORE.

It's killing me how Huai'en is incredibly elated that Xiaobao is worried about him and is not in the slightest caring about the fact that he's poisoned

omfg don't tell me the side couple gets together behind the scenes fr I will SCREAM.

Why can't gay people be normal it's always "I love u so much I want to lock you up and never make you leave me ever" or "let me marry your bestie/servant or I will literally destroy you" wtf

"I think you need medical attention" no way que siming just told him he needs to be hospitalized /j su yin please just rest who cares about killing anyone

HAHHAHAHA ZHAOCAI AND XIAOBAO BEING SO SHOOK ABOUT JINBAO'S CONFESSION I love them. dumbasses.

your honor i love him ( #me)

zhaocai is just completely thunderstruck about jinbao's coming out

zhaocai is the token straight in this entire cast, he is revolted and disgusted by gay people and will become homophobic at the first next sight of que siming and I would understand

NOT THE TRANSITION FROM CUTE SCENE TO AGONY.

please stop this madness stop his pain I am going to CRY STOPPPPP

THEY ARE SO BEAUTIFUL THOUGH. I LOVE ANGSTY SCENES LIKE THIS MAN

theyre both gorgeous and make me feel sad

"If he comes back, what will you do with him" I'm going to kiss him AND U CANT DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT BOY

SU YIN JUST SAY YOU HAVE INTERNALIZED HOMOPHOBIA AND GO please

when you ask su yin any relationship advice:

i hope that was not su yin nearly crying because I cannot do this

THE SHADOWS ARE BACK

why do those look nearly like su yins robes, huai'en do u have smth to tell us..

xiaoyu singlehandedly saves the plot

I love xiaoyu because when the guy drops all the lore shes like UNFORTUNATELY I COULDNT CARE LESS

UNFORTUNATELY, HUAI'EN COULDNT CARE LESS EITHER GET THEMMM

me, seeing a strange move: what was that :0 also me seeing a weird fx: ... and what was that-

omfg not shaoyu. shaoyu is gonna get himself fuckin killed

OMFG ENOUGH TWISTS WHAT THE FUCK IS HAPPENING

what an icon li gongxiang

OH SU YIN AND QUE SIMING ARE HERE??

su yin oh my god. oh my god stop playing the jealous bf please I'm begging u he has two hands

WHY THE FUCK WOULD SHE MARRY XIAOBAO ARE U INSANE. -100 AURA POINTS FOR YOU. WHAT EWWW

SROP STOP STOP MY BOY IS CRYING ON THE GROUND IN FRONT OF EVERYONE LET ME GO CUDDLE HIM PLEASE. PLEASE. WHY MUST U BE THIS CRUEEEEELLLL

"the more I want you the faster I lose you" RIP HUAI'EN YOU WOULDVE DONE NUMBERS ON TUMBLR.

well. that was it. wow what an episode. i thought we weren't going to suffer like tormented ants tonight and here I stand corrected.. i really thought su yin would cave to xiaobao's feelings and turn over a new leaf with huai'en but I guess I was wrong :( I WANT THOSE THREE TO BE HAPPY U DONT GET IT. THEIR DYNAMIC WOULD BE SO TASTY, as I'm sure others have realized

the little twist was nice, i was very sure that Li guy was cooked and instead no. Siming was still a chaos queen, zhaocai a mood, jinbao our beloved idiot and xiaobao victim of many torturous aches, I hope the shadows are okay and me? i just want to throw myself in the river if I cannot enter the screen and hug huai'en immediately. Thank you, see u tomorrow for another one pf these.

[evb0]

procrastinating so u guys get my hatchetverse hcs!!! (these are going to be a lot of shit i picked up from random posts that i dont remeber the ops of so sorry if u made one of these hcs and i dont credit you i love you sorry) ethan green

probably like 23? 25?

hes actually bi he told me himself

afab he/they boyflux sue me

lex is his first and only gf. he's probably had like one bf before but he loves lex sm more (simp) (malewife to her girlboss basically)

orphan sorry i dont make the rules

his dad left like immedately and his mom passed of old age when he was like 17 idk

hannah is basically his little sister. he'd die 4 her actually.

ted spankoffski

like late 20s early 30s at the most ithink

so painfully thirsty for anyone he has to be pan

amab he/him but doesnt really give a fuck

has never had a partner thats so sad. he makes up for this by constantly acting like everybody wants him. they dont. (exepct for me i love him)

doesnt really have a CRUSH on anyone speific but mark chastity is his fav to tease (sorry im a baby for holy bastard)

him and petes parents love them but theyre kinda like.. oblivious and absent. like theyre always on trips and leaving pete to live w ted

max jagerman

im not gonna list all of the teens' age theyre all 16-18

im assimilating with this one he/she pronouns amab

hes omni he told me himself pref 2 women

everybody wants him he only wants the nerd (hes just like me fr)

he isnt dead shut up shut up sHUT UP HES FINE OKAY

his dad is not good his mom died in childbirth

stephanie lauter

genderqueer. they/she/he in order of pref. also uses xe/xir idc sue me

pan thats cannon she told me xirself

does tiktok dances but really badly on purpose

the biggest simp on earth to her one guy and nobody ese

will fluster the living hell out of pete in public for fun

hates being the mayors daughter, feels alienated bcs of it

pete spankoffski

he/they afab i dont make the rules

bi if you argue youre homophobic (/J)

actually loves his big bro but acts like he doesnt bcsaude is ted hears him looking up ted he'll never hear the end of it

nickname seymour from ruth (bcause lsoh)

ex-brony

richie whateverhislastnameis

afab he/xe/nya/zap he would have so many cool neos. one of those people whos neo list is longer than the bill of rights

gay mlm yes

undertale enjoyer

nge enjoyer

discord mod in an anime server

owns several body pillows

xem and ruth have been friends since pre-k so they know eachother like the back of their hand

ruth whateverherlastnameis

afab she/they

omni large large large pref to girls. likes a few boys sorta

biggest theatre kid ever but sucks at acting and singing (the curse)

got ensemble ONCE and cried at the cast list

fav show is heathers

heather m kin i dont make the rules

grace chastity

afab she/her

bi

liked a girl once and cried for a week str8 abt going 2 hell

i dont have alot of hcs for her but i think she would like fire a large amount

not even arson wise but like

a firebug

tinky

i already made my hcs for all the LiBs' true forms so go find those if you want

all the libs dont give a fuc about pronouns call them whatever

i do he/him tho

tinky is really just a 13 yr old girl freaking out abt one specific guy (ted) and making fucked up fanfics with him (time bastard nmt)

the "youngest" of the siblings

boy jerry

i beleive that every character jon plays is related. boy jerry is pauls fucked up brother. which means hes also richies uncle

[oxpogues4lifexo]

Keeping up with the Camerons

TumblrTV

Keeping up with the Camerons

Episode 1 - Kildare Royalty - Part 3

Episode transcript (/ means cut scene, bold italics means narrator, bold means host)

Word Count: 3K

Part 2 Here

"Are you having a girls night tonight? Seeing as everyone's here!"

"What do you mean? Sorry. Bella isn't here?" She tilts her head in confusion, having to push her glasses back up the bridge of her nose.

Ryan sniffles, holding back an obvious laugh, "Bella's.. Bella's on the boat! You didn't know that?"

"Bella's here??" Her demeanour changes. Her body lifts as her eyes light up, a soft smile taking her lips. She grips onto the edge of the couch to hold herself from getting up.

"Uh yes she is!" There's a small pause. Ryan watches Wheezie as if she was about to say something and Wheezie waits for Ryan to move the conversation along, feeling slightly uncomfortable in the silence.

He coughs and his fingers find his hair, "Would you uh.." He contemplates his next words not knowing if he should cut the interview short or not. "Do you want to go?"

You see her lips quiver, her mouth opening and closes contemplating the same exact thought before settling back down into the couch. "No, no.. I shouldn't! I mean.. I can see her later!" The tone of her voice was evidently disappointed. With how sweet she's been and how patient she was Ryan couldn't help but feel bad for her determination for the show; when everyone else was quick to move on.

"No it's fine you go! We had finished the questions anyways." He gives her a reassuring smile as he stands up. He lied straight through his teeth it was obvious. This whole time there were no set questions. Anyone could've known that. But with Wheezie's mind somewhere else she didn't even think to question him.

Her lips grow wider as she lifts herself from the couch, opening her arms wide to gesture a hug. Ryan takes the opportunity, gently patting her back and whispering in her ear.

Barely made out by the camera, "You deserve it.."

She smiles once more, waving bye to the camera before running off quickly outside.

/

"Sarah I didn't want to bring this up but I'm not sure what else to ask really. Wheezie told me that you and Bella don't like each other. Why?"

"Uhh.. I dont understand? I never said I don't like her? We just don't talk."

"Sarah?" A small voice radiates through the air causing the blonde to look away from the camera.

"Hey Wheez, you okay?"

"Yeah. Um.. Topper wants you!" She plays with the string of her bikini that she only just changed into from the boat.

"Okay. Well Ryan said we're finished so I'll be out in a second!"

"Okayyyy!" Wheezie skips off back outside.

/

And with that the interviews were done.

More will be revealed throughout the rest of the week so don't worry about the lack of questions. We're finding everything out at the same time as the rest of you!

Whilst Rose makes dinner and Ward gives us a tour, the kids take some time to rest on the boat. The cameramen and I will join them but after today, all filming at home will be done by pre-setup cameras. You'll see me around from time to time but other than that, my time here in TannyHill has come to an end!

Thank you.

/

"Oh my god??"

"Topper stop your gonna get hurt!"

"Top your not close enough!"

"Rafe??"

"What's going on here?" Ryan steps into the boat, the sudden shock causes Topper to lose his footing and fall off the edge of the boat, a big splash of water hitting everyone close enough, including Ryan.

The kids all can't help but laugh, Rafe's radiates in the air whilst Wheezie covers her mouth, knowing she shouldn't really be laughing. The only person not to laugh would be Sarah. She quickly runs over to the edge of the boat and leans over, giving Topper her hand to pull him back up.

"Thanks.." He wraps his arms round himself as he tries his best not to shiver whilst Bella runs inside to grab him a towel.

"Um. Im sorry I didn't mean to scare you."

Topper scoffs, "Scare me? You didn't scare me don't worry. I just.. slipped!"

Kelce and Rafe both look at one another, whispering something inaudible to the cameras.

"Top you wouldn't have fallen if you weren't scared!" Bella mocks as she hands him the towel, his eyes snap to her. She giggles quietly as she stares back, "What's wrong?"

"Say that again Bells.. I dare you!"

She shrugs, dropping herself beside Rafe, his grip on her waist was tight enough that she wasn't scared for Toppers reaction, "Okay! You wouldn't have fallen if you weren't scared!" She giggles again, this time slightly muffled as Topper jumps for her, the towel falling off him as he chases Bella inside.

"For fuck sake.." An unfamiliar voice speaks up. Ryan and the others look over at him.

"Cal I swear just leave her be for once." He mumbles sharply, eyes burrowing into Callum's skull.

Despite Rafe's attempt at stopping his next move, Callum ignores him and gets up anyways.

"Dude?? It's not like he's gonna hurt her. Jesus calm down!" Kelce steps in, as he noticed the look in Rafe's eyes.

//

"Rafe can't stand the way Cal treats Bella. It's obvious I'm sure you've all noticed it too. But to be fair we all can't. It's not like Topper did anything wrong and as far as we all knew, Bella was smiling and laughing and everything. She was fine. Cal was just being unnecessary!" Kelce states, later on in the evening. The air was cooler and the sky was dark. He was outside by the pool, slightly private from the rest of his friends in the living room. The host was taking turns to pull them out separately to speak on the day. Just like he did with the rest of the family earlier.

//

Callum takes a glance at Kelce before noticing a camera inside the boat. Whatever happens, it'd be caught on camera. He has nothing to worry about. Without a word he sits himself back down next to Rafe.

"Dude just gotta chill alright." Rafe slaps his arm.

Ryan places himself on the edge of the boat as he watches Topper and Bella come back outside, Bella now on his back giggling to herself.

"Wheezie!" Roses voice appears from around the corner. Wheezie's eyes widen and she quickly runs off back down the dock. Sarah also lifts herself from the chair, "I'm gonna go too.." she mutters to Topper before placing a kiss to his cheek and stepping away from the boat.

/

"Sarah's avoiding the cameras! She hates it. Unless it's about her or she's asked a question she has no reason to be on it and therefore she won't be. It's fair enough. I just don't get it tho like this shows about her you know?" Topper explains as he runs his fingers through his golden strands.

/

"Well.. nice to meet you all!"

Everyone repeats his words back as they turn themselves to face the camera. "Well Rafe mentions how you've all been friends for some time. How did that all start?"

They all look at one another waiting for someone to answer. No one does for an awkward minute so Bella speaks up, "Well I mean, after mine and Cals dad passed we moved in here with Rafe. And by that point he was already friends with Topper and Kelce so we all just got close through each other!"

"Bella, Sarah mentioned how you two don't talk anymore? Why?"

Her shoulders shrug as her eyes follow to her brother. "I'm not too sure. We were friends for a few years and then she kinda just.. stopped talking to me. I don't know people grow out of things I guess.."

"Oh that's a shame. But you have these four now!"

"Yep! And I wouldn't change it for anything!" She smiles softly, the boys coo at her as Rafe wraps his arm round her neck, pulling her closer to his chest. He places a kiss to her head as the other boys start making out with the air.

Bella giggles at the joke but Cal wasn't taking it as he chucks an empty can at their heads, ultimately silencing the group.

The awkward silence causes a few quiet giggles which soon erupt into a mass of laughter.

One look at the other and they cracked. So they forced themselves to stop and look anywhere but each other.

"You guys seem like you get along very well-" A few snickers follow, "In every group there's a dynamic right? Like the funny one or the smart one. What would you all name yourselves?"

They all look around as silence hits once more.

Bella looks up at Rafe and immediately her eyes light up, pushing herself to sit up using his thigh. "Rafe's the 'slut' of the group!" The others begin laughing again as Rafes faces scrunches, his head tilts to her as his eyes sit wide. He lets out a small sigh, "I can't argue with that to be fair."

"He literally tells me, in detail, every little thing that happens on a date. Like it's everyday there's someone new and I don't actually care."

"I thought you know.. cos you're the 'virgin' of the group you'd wanna know?"

Her mouth falls as she smacks his chest, "Your an asshole!"

He laughs at her expression, before soon apologising quietly.

"Nah l'd say that Bella's definitely the mum of the group!" Topper finally admits, his giggles finally subsiding.

"Oh yeah totally!" Kelce agrees as Bella's smile comes back, her head turning towards them shyly as a small blush takes her cheeks.

"The other day we came to hers after we got into a fight-"

Bella sighs, lifting her hand up to the camera in shock, "With my best friend by the way!"

"Oh yeah! She has OTHER friends!" Rafe scoffs jokingly as she rolls her eyes.

"Yeah one!"

"Two.." he corrects, earning him another smack, this time to his arm.

"Anyway.." Kelce chuckles as his and Toppers eyes stick on the other two for a while. "Yeah okay we got into a fight with her friend-"

"Who, may I ask?"

"Uh JJ Maybank!" Bella blurts out proudly, a smile taking her lips as her cheeks redden once again. Cal groans at the name and Rafe scoffs.

//

"I swear to God everytime I speak about him, it's made out like such a big deal. It's not. We're just friends?"

//

"We were like bleeding and shit, bare in mind this was like three in the morning! And she came and cleaned us all up and then slept in the living room with us."

"To be fair we're only still all alive cos of Bella so.. thanks!" Topper laughs.

She smiles at the camera, shrugging her shoulders, "What can I say!"

They all laugh with her before Ryan, again, cuts the moment short. "So how did you and JJ meet then? Seeing as he is on the other side of the island!"

"Well I mean I met him through John B! John B works for Ward and I go with him whenever he goes down to the docks. So yeah me and John B got close but me and JJ got closer!"

"Unfortunately.." Rafe mutters and Bella shoots him a dirty look, Kelce pipes up, "To be fair he's not wrong! Whats wrong with us? The Kooks not good enough for you?" He mocks knowing he's getting under her skin.

"I.. obviously not! You guys are family to me! I just sometimes want to talk about you guys with someone else."

"Wait-"

"What??"

She giggles, "I'm joking dickheads!"

"Bella, sorry to ask but-" just those few words caught Cal's attention. He looks up at him suddenly, eyes sharp and brows furrowed.

Bella looks up at him too, but with the opposite complexion; her face holding a sweet smile.

"Earlier, when you were on the phone with Rafe, you sounded upset. What happened?"

"Dude what the fuck? Why's that got anything to do with you??" Rafe interrupts, his voice harsh. His eyes cutting deep into Ryan as his hand finds Bella's back; pulling her in slightly.

Her eyes widen as she takes a glance at him, "Rafe.??"

"No! He's got no business being all in your fucking issues this ain't the Brooks show??"

"You gonna ask actual questions or you gonna leave? We were fine here without you bothering us!" Callum states plainly, bored of the constant interrogation. His body shifts to sit closer to Bella, facing away slightly so she was partly hidden from the camera.

"Oh my god.. I'm sorry! Maybe we could talk another time?" Bella's face falls as her mouth sits agape, her eyes glassy as a slight shakiness fills her words.

"No you wont!!" Callum orders forcefully.

Rafe smirks, lifting a hand to the camera as the other sits tighter round Bella's waist, holding her back from being able to move, "Bye Bye now!" He waves them away.

When they don't budge, Callum stands up and before he could even take a step, the camera crew and Ryan were gone.

//

"Yeah so uh.. they're just a 'little' protective? It doesn't take much to piss them off really. Even if it's not, if they think somethings bothering me they have no issues to deal with it right then and there. I just didn't expect it on camera! Sorry. But um.. yeah the question you asked! I don't feel comfortable answering, sorry. But I'm fine! Promise!"

/

"Bella hates when Rafe and Cal get up in her business. Like she tries so hard to be nice and they make her seem worse. I get it I do, but she kinda signed up for it when she became friends with us!" Topper chuckles, shrugging his shoulders.

//

Rose finished up dinner and Ward finished with the tour, and after the small interviews with the family, everyone sits down for dinner around the dining table.

Whilst the family have their dinner I'll take this moment to say thank you for watching! It was a pleasure filming and making this for you. The Camerons are, well sometimes, are a delight to be around! And we can't wait to show you more. This has been Keeping up with the Camerons!

Oh! And before you go, look at this gem we caught that night.

/

"Rafe.." Bella mumbles. It was dark, too dark that the camera could barely make out her figure as she leans over the edge of the couch.

Rafe lay on the floor next to her, Callum by her feet and Topper and Kelce on the other chairs.

It was late, around 1 in the morning.

"Rafe.!" She repeats, this time Rafe hears and covers his eyes with his arm.

"Mm."

"I can't sleep.."

Rafe opens his eyes finally, lifting himself onto his elbows to get a better view of her in the dark. "Why not.?"

"I don't know." She plays with the blanket that lay on her. His eyes follow her fingers as his concern grew.

"You don't know..?"

"Mm.. maybe because of the cameras?"

Rafe frowns and looks around, not realising there were any in the room, "They're still on..?"

"Mhm they're always on Rafe."

"Shit.." He watches her for a minute, running his hand through his hair before lifting it to take hers. "Okay.. You wanna go sleep in my room.?"

"Umm.." Her eyes drift away, Rafe catches her face in the moonlight as she looks around the room with a slight frown.

After she doesn't answer he stands up, reaching out his hand to take hers, "Come on.."

She doesn't hesitate to take his hand. He guides her up the stairs and they stop by his bedroom door. Bella looks over his shoulder at the two cameras sat in the hall. He realises what she's looking at and takes her hands, "Hey.. don't let the cameras get to you okay.?"

She sighs, looking down at their hands as she swings them side to side, "That's easier said than done Rafey.."

"I know I know.. sorry.. but just.. I mean it. Pretend they're not there!"

"Mmmm.." She wines, bouncing up and down. Her tiredness and frustration adding up into one big pile of upset.

Rate follows her eyes, tucking her hair behind her ear and resting his hands on her shoulders, "I know Bells.. but it's just a stupid show my dad wanted to do. If you want a camera off I'll make them turn it off. You want something cut out the show? Then I'll make that happen, okay? You just worry about being your pretty self and I'll deal with the rest. Does that sound like a good deal..?"

She lets out a soft giggle as her eyes finally take his own, "Yeah.. thank you for understanding.."

" 'course Bells. I'll always understand okay? Now go get some sleep.." He kisses her forehead, watching her for a moment before going over to the stairs.

"Rafe..?" Bella steps forward slightly, getting Rafe's attention as he turns back.

"Mhm?"

She stops a moment, and picks at her fingernails, "Love you." She whispers softly.

Rafe can't help but break a smile, taking in one last look at her; she stood in his top that was way too big for her, covering everything that needed to be covered.

"Love you too Bee, now go to bed!" He raises his eyebrows. Bella can't take him seriously and lets out a small giggle before nodding and going into his room.

Rafe stands there a moment; watching the door close behind her. He smiles once more before shaking his head and going back downstairs to sleep.

Next Episode Here

Short Episodes in Blue

Full Episodes in Pink

Short Masterlist

Full Masterlist

[lostonmari]

SUCCESS #2 - November

Success #2 -- Everything I manifested in November

November is when I started this blog, and also ACTUALLY started applying all of the things I learned started taking affirming and thinking in my favor seriously instead of just sporadically manifesting random things here and there because I was too lazy to put in the work. I never had issues w wavering, but I was just inconsistent as fuck (Hell, I'm still inconsistent with posting on my own damn blog, yall can't possibly think I'm consistent with affirming!) So here's everything I manifested…

Manifested back my old bestfriend/ex-gf after 4 years no contact She came back, apologized for mistreating me and told me basically everything I affirmed for LMAO. and that's one of the things that gave me faith in the law because ik this girl would rather die than ever apologize to someone. Now that she's back I'm manifesting away her friends and leaving her broke down and in shambles because I'm evil and believe in revenge. yall dont know the type of bullsh*t this woman put me through. Idc if everyone is you pushed out, some people don't deserve forgiveness 🤓

My mom is walking again I successfully revised her shattered ankle without the weeks of recovery time the doctors "thought" she needed. She's literally walking around just fine now and doesn't need to wear her cast or whatever that big bulky thing was.

Manifested my brother out of jail on a time crunch Now I'm not sharing my family's whole drama online but… yea. he's out.

No more social anxiety, cured one of my mental health issues I don't wanna trauma dump or go into too much detail about my life but, yes. for anyone also working on mental health, it can be done and you won't regret trying. Life actually feels like it has meaning now and for once in all my years of life, I can actually say that I'm happy. 💗

Stopped nail biting COMPLETELY! I used to struggle with nail biting for YEARSSS whether it was out of stress, anxiety, whatever the fuck. but now it's completely gone. my nails are no longer STUBS, like theyre actually long and healthy. I didn't even affirm for this so I kinda think it came with improving my mental health since I didn't really have the issues that *triggered* nail biting anymore yk?. I'm actually the happiest about this result like yall don't understand how long I've wanted the natural french tips look 💀

[TW: Discussion of binging, discussion of food]

6. WL + Maintained weight loss! I literally changed my entire way of viewing food, and subsequently fixed my lose->gain->lose-> gain again cycle. Ever since learning LOAss If I binged I would be like: I just have a fast metabolism so that's why I'm so hungry my body is burning everything I eat so fast! and I would also tell myself calories don't matter because food is only energy. Basically, reminding myself of what Abdullah told Neville: "If you ate as I did, you would be poisoned because of your belief." (heavily paraphrased because my memory is terrible.. yes I'm working on it 😭) and it keeps me from feeling guilty abt eating. I ate SOOO MUCH food yesterday and I mean SO MUCH. I ate an entire box of cheese sticks, two large chicken sandwiches, 2 pb & j sandwiches total throughout the day, and half a tub of icecream for dessert… Yeah I was going crazy.. to the point I looked 5 months pregnant at the end of the night. Fast forward to today, my stomach is back to flat and back to normal as if it never happened. Food literally will not effect you if you believe it doesn't! This was my main focus too so I'm very proud of myself :)

Moral of the story is, never give up.

YOU decide what happens in your reality and don't let anyone tell you otherwise. There were times when I didn't want to affirm, so I didn't. If I felt lazy then I didn't consciously affirm or listen to subliminals, I just relaxed and went on about my day. I never made affirming feel like a chore. There were times when I had doubts too or thought it wouldn't work. I especially thought it wouldn't work for my mental health but I just affirmed anyway. When you're having resistance literally just know there's nothing bad that can possibly happen from believing in yourself and thinking in your favor. Just DO IT. Persist no matter what and you WILL get what you want!

I'll try to do better with posting my successes (but only ones that actually meant something big to me tbh. I don't see a point in sharing every little thing unless it was me overcoming some type of struggle) and answering messages but I refuse to download the tumblr app so yall just gotta see and hear from me whenever I feel like loading up this website. I'm just enjoying & living my life rn girl I used to dream about times like this and now I finally have them 😭

[pawberri]

im hoping you continue to make force masc art cause its always something i briefly thought about but rarely come across. which sucks, because i love tfgames.com but 99.999% of the ftm tag isnt ftm but just mtf games where you can detrans the mc/transformed characters. its infruiating, especially when i looked for any threads making a masterlist and all i found was a thread of someone complaining about it and asking for recommendations only to be told to suck it up and nothing else, just looking to argue with op, by assholes and like. one person actually suggesting some actual ftm games instead of "you can fight to keep your manhood uwu" ftm games.

i feel like there should be a "mtf detrans" and "ftm detrans" or even just a "detrans" (to be used in places where you start as male and can try to stay male or j u s t s u c c u m b which floods the ftm tag along with every other possible detrans scenario) tag on the site so people wanting to play a (forced) masc game dont have to wade through a bunch of force fem games and then the voluntary fem games as well. hell most games that let you do a ftm transformation or play as a ftm character are the ones that advertise being able to customize the mc to your liking meaning that its just a equal opportunity game. The only force masc game i can remember was called calamity jack and the last i checked its in limbo never to be updated again-although now im tempted to double check.

sorry for the rant, also i might commisson you if i get extra money for some masculization art, i also might try to doodle some stuff for it but ive been telling myself that for a bit. seeing you do it in a femboy way makes me feel kinda motivated though... sorry if this is super awkard just yeah

I appreciate your struggles... I think this is a we need more trans boys in stem cuz we are less likely to program stuff or make games. Not a hard rule but like we are usually drawing pictures and comics and not making flash games.... probably has something to do with newgrounds and stuff being kind of a gendered space and very cis dude ish so the big horny flash game platform didn't have as many of us. Then again there were so many deviantart flash games...... but yknow generalizations etc etc

Anyway I really want to make visual novels OR if anyone who makes any kind of porn game wants me to draw the art or work on a script w them... I do have writing that has been validated by actual publishers.... and I love horny games 👍

Anyway anon hope I can draw for you sometime 😌💜

[candyredappledragon]

Kieran speaking from my perspective, I trust your judgement and the others should have considered that once again they are not trusting you just like back then with Ogerpon, but I can also kinda understand why they are concerned. maybe ask pecharunt if it wants to become your Pokémon? offer them a ball and see if it accepts that would show it trusts you as much as you trust them and the other could neither hurt it and neither could pecharunt do the same the other way around, not that in saying it will don't worry. That would be the safest option for both of you. Stay strong little bud. We anons, or at least some maybe most? Well anyway theres anons who have your back

....dont remind me..... at..at least florian apologized and told me....but...

...wh..y

pecharunt does want to be my.. friend...

i... i will catch it then.... just to prove them wrong..

pecharunt agrees on the catching idea.... for me to catch it only.

j-just let me find the ultra balls i was given... hopefully they will change.. their minds...

Kieran searched all over his room and found the ultra balls he was looking for as it was up on his shelves hanging on the wall. Grabbing one of them from the pile he looked at it then at Pecharunt.

The peach Pokemon vibrated a bit in a excited manner. He stared at the Pokemon with a small smile. Maybe this will prove that it isn't dangerous and at least have some faith in him. They have to TRUST him and take his word.

If it was really dangerous then it should've just done something to him very badly. It wouldn't turn on him. Pecharunt kept him company anyway too just like any other Pokemon he has. They wouldn't betray or lose trust in him. Always there for him.

He just hated being alone a lot of the times. It was hard. Especially during the time he was a champion at Blueberry. Barely anyone wanted to talk to him even after finding out he's just not that scary. The elite four didn't help much either as they were busy doing their own things unless they ask for help from Kieran anything club related.

Amarys did try accompanying him at times as best as she could but it felt awkward to him to an extent. He knows she means well whenever she lectures him on stuff. But for some reason it didn't feel enough to him. They don't really hang out at all or ever for fun unless Carmine was there. Crispin does but ever rarely.

He did try getting to know them but it was just difficult even if it felt like they had something in common excluding being students in the same school. The feeling of not being worthy of having relationships with others consumed him and it conflicted his feelings of wanting to have friends. He just has a hard time getting out of that mindset but he goes back to it every time being reminded that maybe he's not that interesting of a person. Just plain, boring and cowardly.

And was it wrong to desire that one harmless thing? Wanting a friend? His Pokemon are like his second family and the best friends he could ever ask for. It's just hard when you can't really understand each other with words because of being different species.

Kieran let out a tired sigh and held the ultra ball in front of Pecharunt. The Pokemon leaned into the ball willingly pressing the button from the front.

. . .

One, two, click.

Pecharunt has been caught.

[themediummultiverseau]

Will papyrus ever be included in the storyline, maybe sans opening up to him about it, or he gets suspicious about sans's behavior and corners him or something?

Aaaand are there any prominent side characters that we'll see?

Papyrus notices that his brother has been leaving the house more, and at first, hes overjoyed! Sans was finally leaving the house! But, he realised after a while, that he always dodged the question as to where he was going. (Sans, being the secretive little fuck that he is, refuses to tell anyone about the ghosts.) Worried, Papyrus follows him one day, only to find him walking al the way to the park. And then he just stops, and starts talking to air.

Papyrus is CONCERNED (tm,) and goes back home to wait for Sans to come home. It takes him HOURS to come back, (he visits everyone he can,) and, when confronted, he once again try to avoid the questions.

Papyrus says he followed him, saw him talking to air, and was considering getting him professional help, his depression had been bad before, and if he was starting to see things now as well...

Sans is forced to tell the truth.

And he does. For the next few hours they sit and talk about the ghosts. Papyrus want to believe him, really, he does! But he cant help but still be worried, so says takes his phone out and googles "Nightmare - Prince" and shows him the results. He then goes through the lot of them, showing death reports, news articles, anything that appears really, and Papyrus finally believes him.

From then on, he insists Sans takes something for them every time he visits, and often makes them food to give (more often that not, its spaghetti,) and asks how they're doing. Sometimes, they go and Sans acts as a medium, for them, so Papyrus and the ghosts can talk directly.

Killer and Dream especially take a liking to him, while Dust is pretty scared of him (he looks way to much like his won brother its actually scary,) and always ask how he is when Sans comes without him.

Side characters.. It depends what you mean by that.

Every Sans you could ever want can exist here, they just might not haunt the town,

(i got lazy when drawing here, so its just a messy sketch but yk)

(Red - shot, epic - shrapnel, Fresh - car crash, Outer - fell)

Alternatively, most of the ghosts had family members, most of them had a Papyrus look alike, (Papyrus isn't reincarnated here, but every Sans deserves a Papyrus, even fate believes it so)

(Nim (Dream and Nightmares mother, Queen), Phantom (Dusts brother,) Horror had lots of siblings, ect...)

Buuut, while many of the original Undertale cast have been spread out throughout the years, Toriel, Chara and Frisk are all based in the present time.

Toriel, after the death of her son, adopts two kids, twins, who were considered "difficult" children, (really there were disabled, but why would they care about that, - Chara has some mental issues, and Frist is mute and has sight problems.) They're lovely kids , and they visit quite regularly, typically with their mother. Sans was named their Godfather (Papyrus was considered, but he told them Sans was a better choice, ) because Toriel knew he'd love them.

Sans and Toriel met at a comedy gig, both preforming on the same day, and became friends instantly over their shared love of stupid puns. (They're not together, this universe has no canonical relationships, everyting's platonic here, but ships are totally allowed and welcome if you wanted lol.)

Holy moly, that was a lot of work lmao, would you believe it, i dont think ive ever actually drawn Papyrus before? I have no idea why, just havent, ill have to do more so in the future cus hes fun.

Ive also never tried to draw anyone from the angle Sans is at in the first drawing, think it looks fine as long as you ignore the feet lol.

No, i didnt get lazy drawing the ghost in the first, it was a stylistic choice! /j /sarcasm, also, Hi, im Whisp, i hate backgrounds!)

Please excuse me attempt at drawing a wimple for Nim and the tricorned hat for Phantom, they're very difficult!

All of Horrors siblings there don't have names, they were just designed on the spot really, so if anyone has and names for them, ill take them on board!

But hope it all looks okay, this is all full of firsts lol. Have a lovely day everyone! :)

[paintedpineleaf]

the contrast between my brother who calls to tell my parents literally everything that happens ("i did my laundry" "i'm going to see a match among students" "the girls here dress skimpy" (theyre just wearing crop tops and/or shorts in 32° weather) "this is what i'm wearing" etc etc), they know about each of his friends by name and where they are and what they're doing and they ask about each of them ("how is A settling in in canada?" "has B talked to you yet?") and me who doesnt want to tell my parents anything, everything they know, theyve dragged out of me with so much resistance they couldve been pulling teeth.

i told them i had a friend in pakistan who goes to uni there and my dad goes "you have a friend in pakistan? how do you know them?". fucking insane bro. he didnt even know i had a friend in pakistan, let alone anything else. i genuinely didnt know i'd never talked about him lmfao. i changed the subject to my cousin who also goes to uni in the same city (thats what we were talking about, and i didnt want to talk about him and potentially reveal he's a guy cause then they'd ask questions about that)

its also so odd to refer to my male friends as if theyre female lol so im just kinda bouncing back and forth between using female versions of words and male versions and i barely know what im saying lmfao. (you use different words if youre talking about a guy vs a girl, in sindhi the word for "one" as in "one friend" is "hikro" if youre talking about a guy and "hikri" if youre talking a girl, i used "hikro" and my brother who was on facetime at the time corrected me and said "you'd use hikri" assuming the friend in question was female and i was like whatever there isnt a difference you get what i mean lmfaoo)

my siblings also get so surprised when i talk about anyone. i once told my soster about one of my friends and she stalked my followers/follows to see if they were real and she told me and i removed her from my followers (i later remembered j had a public account and it didn't actually matter), and my brother a few days later asked why she wasnt following either of her siblings, me or him, and i said that i removed for looking at my friends' profiles and she defended herself like jokingly yelling "ONE friend, i only looked at ONE friend" and my brother who's just saw this exchange goes "you have friends?" BRO???? WHAT????

but genuinely i fucking hate anyone in my family knowing anything about my friends but i dont mind the opposite, i've sent my friends pictures (one picture) of my parents and they know so much shit about them and my life lmaoo.

i just think its so funny

[pocketedmelody]

Nightmare

He said, you choose what you want to believe in. You choose your perspective.

The past few weeks have torn my world apart. All that I knew. Cracked foundation. I feel my being torn into two, then into pieces. During moments I feel whole again, in a split second when reality sinks in once more I feel my soul seep out again. Im running on a tank threatening to implode, yet so full of sadness, resentment, anger, emptiness. Full of emptiness, the irony.

Mostly i feel dissociated, like I am looking at someone else from a third person's perspective and feeling all the feelings that person would, fully. How I wish i could press the stop button on this reality.

Im still trying to come to terms with the reality that is now, that is what has always been but them sheltering it from me.

I felt empathetic, then I felt angry. Really, really angry. That she would choose herself, give this up, give my family up. I cannot separate the idea of my relationship with her, our relationship with her, from their relationship. It all means the same thing to me - family. it wouldnt be one without anyone. She chose to walk away and put herself first, for the first time. Without warning.

Most of the time i felt that he was in the dark, then he walked out too. Despite my tangible pleas.

They both said we had ourselves to focus on, that things will be the same. That angered me even more.

How could things ever be the same

The physical place - everything could be in the same position but it will never be the same.

I chose to be angry. I choose to be angry now. For most of the past 2 weeks I actively chose to avoid relenting. I dont know, does relenting to the good side mean giving up? I did not want to give her easy access to me. After all that shes done to me. But its hard. Y was right. it is harder to be someone i want to be who isnt intrinsically me. but i choose to be dark because its the easier way to cope.

i want to keep being angry because i dont want to accept the truth. that my family unit will never be the same. at the toughest moments in the past, my family was the solid rock, my parents were the pillars of support i knew would always be constant. even this constant, can break apart? what?

it feels that my reality had all been a lie. i did not appreciate being kept in the dark for so long. J told me, at least i had 30y of a happy family. I felt angry when i heard that. why should it be a thing of the past. and why does that discount the hurt and loss i feel. like am i supposed to grieve less?

no.

many times in my mind i told myself i'd rather they did not shield me from reality, they did not paint a perfect picture of life and family, and love and harmony. only to break it now.

that was my foundation, that was my core.

and then she broke the saddest of news two nights ago.

i felt indignant, but a little less angry. i was even more lost.

i tried to be angrier. but i couldnt. i found myself leaning towards the tissues even when i really did not want to display any sign of understanding or sympathy. her constant apologies flew over my head. in that motherly figure i always leaned on i see a lost girl who has been lost for so long. a girl who was deprived of love and had been surviving on a nearly empty tank but could only show that she was one overflowing and unconditionally giving. not only because she was expected to fulfil her role as a mother but because she wanted to.

nobody would ever have guessed. even when she was running on a tank almost empty she would give, and give, and give.

i felt hurt when i knew he had another reality. and she didnt get what she had deserved. i still want to believe he had good reasons. that it wasnt a mistake, because it would be the saddest thing.

For the first time ever, today on the bus ride back home. I felt this surge of conviction to show them and her that it wasnt the wrong thing. I came out of it, we came out of it. She is the reason why i have the heart to give even when i feel like i am breaking down and have nothing left. he is the reason why i have this focus on excellence even when i feel inadequate. they are the reason why i held on even when all i wanted to do was give up. they are the reason why i love the way i do, i want others around me to feel loved and be loved. they are the reason why i know a family unit the way it is. that family is everything, and family will be there for you no matter what.

all these will never change, no matter the background and context. i will never forget the feelings they make me feel.

i want to embrace her in the biggest embrace now i am where and who i am, to let her know that her difficulties are not for nought. that she is not alone anymore, that its ok for her to be herself and she is more than enough.

i want to let him know its ok to make mistakes, that he will always be the one i turn to like how i did when i was 4 and all i looked forward to every 2 weeks was returning to his embrace and hearing his bedtime stories of 3 little cats. that the respect for him will be boundless no matter what.

still, the child in me is screaming for good things in life to never end. can it not end?

[midnighteloquence]

e up

whatever whatever insert code names yahoo!!

yeah so im starting to find C unbearable to be around. yikes. um so im just gonna talk about this week (and mostly today)

so um off the bat theyre the one that wants me to approach them and talk to them, but literally they arent even putting any effort in making it seem like they want to talk to me. but its so degrading because i will be talking about my interests and something im passionate about and all i get is some “thats so cool” or a “thats so skibidi” in the most dry tone ever. like i know you know im autistic but do you seriously think i dont detect that tone? like i finally work up the energy to want to share an interest of mine with you and you not caring just makes it seem worthless and makes me feel like shit. and as soon as i emit the same energy you get all defensive and all “oh okay” like?? what???

literally i dont know if what youre doing is you trying to “feed me a taste of my own medicine” but like when have i ever done shit like this? when have you had to say multiple times in one minute “hey can i talk about what you guys are talking about too?” “can i join in?” “can i see too?” to me and my friend? fucking never. its fucking humiliating to have to ask you to be able to join in. its so degrading. and as soon as im distant about it youre all annoyed?? like stop

i dont think they can see below the surface of people. yesterday B said they were tired and as soon as they showed a sign of energy C said something like “yeah youre real tired /s”. like??? what??? like do you think that just because someone is projecting energy outwards that that means theyre super energised? you dont see anyone apart from one trait and its fucking annoying.

another separate thing that happened like ages ago but i put on my status a copy paste of like “send me what you think of me honestly” and they typed a whole paragraph which was nice. i thanked them (obviously) and they asked if they could continue. but in their second paragraph it felt like they were critiquing me more than complimenting me. like they said shit like “with the people you LIKE..” as in saying i dont like you, you told me that “makeup wont cover your tiredness, sorry”, you said “youre clearly sad but dont want to open up to people about it” as if thats gonna make me open up to you.

anyways um today they made me super uncomfortable. i was in the music room trying to do cool stuff (failing /j) and they decide to play male whimpering audios into my ears on full volume when i told them multiple times to fucking stop. like first off, EW, second off, its on full volume, third off im trying to do something? and then when i continuously tell them to yk fucking stop they say “oh you can pretend its [mario]!!” which. no fucking comment. nothing can describe how fucking uncomfortable that was to hear. literally not even joking i hated that. like. dont sexualise him. or me. fuck you. dont sexualise my crush. just because i have a crush on him doesnt mean i want to fuck him. thats fucking weird. him and i are both minors. i dont want that. stop. my stomach is aching right now because of that. thats how uncomfortable i was and still am. ew. i hate you. i hate you so much. sorry im just super uncomfortable. on the topic they say alot of shit about me wanting to make out or fuck my crush. STOP. THATS ALL I HAVE TO SAY TO THAT. literally. theres more to crushes than sex. ive said this COUNTLESS TIMES I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU SAY I WANT TO SMASH HIM ONE MORE TIME ILL THROW UP. genuinely. i told C that i only liked him platonically so they would fucking stop saying shit like that. stop. its not even funny. it just makes me incredibly nauseous and makes me hate you more.

anyways uh thats all have a good night wheyesy

[zerobaseonefics]

THANJ YOU THANK YOU<33

i probably will avoid it💀 like bro i wont be overpaying to get bigger(no offence to anyone but mcdonalds is not healthy yk)

i sent here some pictures of the view from the top i think(?) not sure but it was 50/50 worth it like idk how to explain lol OH AND IDK IF I ALREADY TOLD YOU BUT I BOUGHT MACARONS (my mom wanted them too) FOR 12€ (12 mini macarons for 12€) BRO???? and they taste the same like the ones in germany… i looked like such a tourist😭 even some girls asked me in english where i bought my victorias secret things (with a french accent) and i told them (in french) les halles (i didnt have any other way to say les halles and its french so i felt so professional french speaker you know you know)

NAHH DONT WARCH THIS UNLESS YOU WANT WORSE ANGER ISSUES. the first time i watched it? all perfect yes so good i like. the second time? bitch i stopped at ep 1 (aorry for saying bitch hope its okay)

i think la vache describes me frfr like i will never stop liking it i love it so much and its such a pretty word with pretty meanings🤍

yk macarons are my favorite thing but it's so expensive i buy it only on my birthday </3 this year i couldn't cuz yk i was in my college town and i'm broke 💀

pure you're such a french girl!!!! talking about les halles 🤭🤭🤭 next time i might as well answer to your ask fully in french /j

NO YOURE RIGHT I DONT WANT WORSE ANGER ISSUES........ when i watch a show i'm overly invested and yeah ngl i get angry pretty easily so KKDSKJSJZ i'll avoid it

it's okay for you to curse dw!!!

YOU'RE OBSESSION WITH LA VACHE IS SO FUNNY

[seamgel]

aight so *throws him at a wall* lets get into it [also pls keep note that one, i am behind on the plot and only know a few of the recent things, and two, i absolutely suck at formatting my thoughts so things are messy <//3 if anybody got any tips for that id much appreciate it :3c]

first things first, a surface level study of his char is as simple as follows, charming, quick witted, confident and mature. a man whos never been humbled, and a man with a smile on his lips as he speaks.

but ofc not all things are as the two dimensional pixels we see on screen

his childhood was obv not quite the happy one, born and raised without a choice of what his hand does, and it follows him into adulthood because thats what he was told to do. im assuming he doesnt have parents anymore, or something like that, which would fit because hes so, sad, hes a sad character. he can be described as confident and at times, overconfident, he always thinks hes the best, i mean, he has to be: his quirk isnt flashy, hes been pressured to carry on his families legacy on his own, hes always sectioned off from everybody else. he wants that attention, he wants that validation, "hey, you did a good job, im proud of you, youre doing amazing" the words he never got from his parents [and likely all his relatives through extension], that he never got from his peers, that he never had the strength to gain from anybody else.

thats what all the villains have alike actually, the need for the [positive] attention and affection they never got from anyone, though they hide it behind their mask, whatever that mask may be

we know Compress is a good guy, he may not be a Good Guy™ but hes got a golden heart in his chest. that may be the reason hes so mature, as well with his age but even some chars older than him arent so level-headed. but because hes never had that care from his parents, no one looked after him and his parents didnt care about him [they cared about what they wanted him to be, not him], and he knows it hurts, hes v aware of himself and all that hurts him, hes smart, so, in an attempt to reckon with that trauma, he becomes a parental figure to everybody around him [or atleast what hes seen in media or wherver what a parental figure is], to make sure no one else goes through that, to make sure that atleast one person cares, because he does care, though his a great actor already from what ive talked about, his good-natured self isnt a play. and yes i can hear you saying "but Possss, hes a villain !! he cant be a good guy" and i get what youre saying, but hear, he doesnt Want to be, he doesnt want to follow the cards placed before him, "but Pos !! he Can not follow the cards !!!" he cant rlly, for one, hes already a criminal, and most likely has been for a way too long while. ofc i dont think hes done much other than petty crimes up until the point of joining the League but its still a record, something that if he leaves villainy to be a citizen, he will be arrested and shamed for. and on top of that, its most likely that he doesnt see a future other than what hes been told about, and with how things are going, he personally doesnt see a good ending future either. "but its either he suffers or alot of other people suffer !!" i- why am i still talking to an imaginery person,, anyways. now im not saying hes an angel, obv, but im saying hes trying to be his best, both morally and otherwise, he doesnt commit crimes as bad as most of the League, bcuz he doesnt want to be a villain, he doesnt want to hurt people, but thats whats been put upon him. so as he sees it, thats what he must do

if we stand back, look at it; its a child who got pushed into a direction that grew up into a man with what he knows to be no more choice because of what hes done and has been doing

i also think thats why he wants to be a magician, because in his eyes thats something his quirk is actually good for, thats something that will have everybody look and pay attention to him, and idk maybe he just likes magic or it has a fond memory in his childhood shrug

but heres the thing, ive been saying, "in his eyes" "what he sees" "what he knows to be" ect. what he sees, hears or knows may not be factual, it may not be objective, its a personal view. now, he is by no means an objective man, he is one of the more emotionally open members of the League, to an extent ofc, but he speaks his views. he never got a proper childhood, he was never allowed to be a child, forced into maturity, and that skewed how his brain developed. hes still stuck in those thoughts, in how he would think back then, because to him, hes been grown up for his entire life, to him, being a parental figure and following other peoples aspirations is being grown up. theres two sides to how his brain functions, one thats still in his childhood and thoughts, and the other that has fully developed over time, they seem to only get along in a way that makes him, sad

with all this being said, hes a good-natured, childish, inappreciated and scared man, hes never been happy, and throughout his life, i doubt he thinks he ever will be

*gently picks him up and holds like a craddled cat* my boy <33

oki but does anybody wont to hear some Compress analysis ? (^ω^,,)

[ckkookie]

HMM?

TOPIC -when your mafia husband gets jealous

Part 6

She slowly sneaked her hands around my neck. I felt satisfied knowing that now finally my crack head is having some real sense. Finally I was having her as a women otherwise she's always like a cute but scared ambivalent teenager around me. I broke the kiss as I felt her breathings getting heavier. She was breathing heavily as I was really rough. I nuzzled in the crook of her neck while she was catching her breaths "so now you finally know how to act like a woman" I teased her She frowned "what do you mean? I always act like a woman! I AM A WOMAN " She protested "yeah a woman. I saw how you puffed your little chest today to act like a WOMAN " I chuckled in the crook of her neck" " um w-whatever i didn't wanted to walk like that. YOU ASKED ME TO WALK LIKE THAT " I suck her neck. She hissed and moaned "aah.!" "when did I asked you to walk like that hmm? "I said still nuzzling in the crook of her neck. " you yourself told me to act like a WOMAN for god's sake!"

"oh my sweet y/n ! I asked you to act like a woman. I never asked you to walk with puffed chest. Did I ? " " whatever!! I don't have a little chest."

" Well...how would I know I mean you never showed me your ches -" She cut me off by hitting my chest while I groan fakely. She rolled her eyes. I quickly lift my head and trap her between my arms. "did you just rolled your eyes at me ? " I asked while squinting my eyes at her sharply. She looked nervous but only for a second. She raised her brows at me. I widen my eyes at her sudden developed courage. But soon that amazed face turned into a wide smirk. "Very Bold, aren't we?" I spoke but her next move made me shook to my d*ck. The damn woman pulled me through my tie and pecked my lips. I was stunned for a minute but then when I saw her blushing I smirked. "Uh-huh.... the audacity my love you've! So bold and so shy at the same time hmm?" She pursed her lips trying to hide her smile. I leaned in and kissed her once again. We were savouring each other's presence when suddenly, Jimin: Y/N WHERE ARE YO-OH MY MY!!! we both flinched on the sudden shriek. She suddenly pushed me forcefully making me stumble back and collide with the cold wall against us making my head hit the wall. Jimin: OH MY SORRY SORRY! PLEASE CONTINUE !! I'LL TELL UNCLE TO PREPARE ANOTHER PARTY FOR THE UPCOMING MEMBER!! DONT WORRY TAKE YOUR TIME. JUST MAKE A CUTE BABY !! the rat's short tail blabbered some useless nonsense while covering his eyes and turned around and left. Y/n was still in shock while I was groaning and rubbing my head. The wall is damn hard. Thank god I didn't pushed y/n earlier a little more harder,Otherwise god knows what could've happened. I was thinking when, (gasp) "j-jungkook...a-are you fine. Are you okay. Is it hurting." She asked coming towards me. Now she noticed me after a whole decade." Are you hurt?" I glared at her "NO! How can I be hurt! How can anyone be hurt. See this wall its so soft that I enjoyed it. I just want to hit my head once again on it" I uttered angrily. She pursed her lips tightly "S-Sorry....j-jimin came so-" "so he's more important for you now....even more than me" I spoke with gritted teeth and glare at her sharply. " yes...huh....N-No....obviously no- " her sharp naughty tongue slipped again. Great. "I see. Well I don't care. You owe me a whole nigh---- "I mumbled my last words with a smirk but - "yeah yeah....i'll get you the medicine ." I looked at her back in PURE disbelief as she spoke and turned away to leave. Does this woman even listens to me? "what the--- JEON Y/N !!! GET YOUR ASS BACK HERE RIGHT NOW !!! " I shout frustrated. She quickly strolled back to me with the same fast pace she turned to go. She stood in front of me. I deeply looked in her eyes while holding her chin "YOUR PRETTY MOUTH WILL PAY TONIGHT DARLING "

This was the last part hope you've enjoyed this short series 💌