#if its a mixed that has nothing to do w the plot i will scream

[notdingalingalingalingrita]

manifesting kana5 before ena5 and its kanamizu slash kanaena

[pi-cat000]

BNHA: Kakashi dimension hops crossover (5)

Summary: Kakashi gets dumbed into the My Hero Academia universe through random plot devise.

Characters:  Kakashi Hatake

Fandoms: My Hero Academia and Naruto

WARNINGS: Mentions of violence/injury

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Ms Iroi always tries to engage him in conversation whenever she comes in, asking questions and chatting to herself in a fruitless attempt at helping him recover his 'lost' memories. Most of the time, Kakashi is indifferent to her presence and always has a magazine handy as an excuse not to talk.

Today, Iroi is in a particularly good mood, humming to herself, greeting him with an energetic, “How are you doing today!”

Kakashi grunts a noncommittal response which doesn’t do much to discourage the woman’s good mood as she runs through a check-up routine.  

“You should try watching U.A’s sports festival tomorrow. I hear it’s going to be particularly spectacular this year,” she says as she pulls the blinds on Kakashi's window, blocking out the distant city lights. 

U.A? he recognises the name. Kakashi glances up over the pages of HERO!! MONTHLY BREAKDOWN. It is the third time he has read this issue.

“You know, since you like reading those hero magazines, I figured you would be interested in watching the ‘next generation of heroes’ debut,” she continues, noting his attention, “U.A always puts on a good show.”

Kakashi frowns. The problem with his amnesia cover story is that he is still trying to figure out what he can get away with not remembering. So far the doctor’s seem content to chalk up the disappearance of his long term memories to a ‘quirk’ accident but were always more concerned when he failed to recall basic factual information. Something to do with different parts of the brain being responsible for different types of information.

 “Watch how?” He settles on asking. U.A. was supposed to be a hero-training academy so whatever this ‘sports festival’ was was worth checking out. 

“Oh,” Iori pauses to think, “I, ah, think channel 2 with be covering it?” she hesitates, “You know what. I’ll look it up and let you know later. Sorry, I can’t carry my phone around with me while on shift.”

“Thank you.” He smiles and makes a show of returning to his magazine to dissuade further conversation.

Later the same evening, just before the end of the evening shift, Iori pokes her head into his room again. She is out of uniform, long hair untired, waving to catch his attention.

“The coverage is on channel 2 and starts at 11am,” She holds up her portable communication devise like it means something.  It probably did mean something. The frequency by which people checked them suggested it had a function beyond basic communication. He has held off attempting to steal one because, unlike pens, people would notice and care if one went missing.  

“Have fun watching! Oh… also, I forgot to ask…”

Kakashi raises a brow.

“I have a bunch of old gossip magazines. Mum used to read them all the time and there are a few hero-themed ones in the mix. I can bring them in if you want more stuff to read.” 

“If you want.” Iori must have noticed him re-reading the magazines. 

"I'll bring them on Friday!"

Iori had been unsubtly hinting that Kakashi might have had a history in heroics. It definitely wasn’t because reading information on a page just made sense when compared to the barrage of conflicting reports the television gave him. A few weeks with only the television as his information source has him writing off most of its information as useless or propaganda.  

…

...

“HEELLLOOOOO, LISTENERS!”

Kakashi stares dully as the video footage, which had been giving him a bird’s eye view of a positively massive stadium, changes to a sweeping shot of what must be thousands of people crammed into seats. It almost makes him claustrophobic just watching it.

“WELLCOME TO OUR ANNUAL U.A. SPORTS FESTIVAL! THE HIGH SCHOOL ADOLESCENT RODEO YOU ALL LOVE TO WATCH. CAN A GET A ‘OH YEAH!’”

As if of one mind, thousands of people leap to their feet screaming. The camera angle changes again to show a grinning blond-haired man, seated at a desk and pointing enthusiastically at the camera. All these shot changes are going to give him a headache. Kakashi is already having reservations watching this and its only10 minutes.

“Thank you! You’re an AMAZING audience!”

 It almost reminds him of the final Chunin Exam stages -if the Chunin exams had had three times the audience - which always involved some sort of combat display.  There hadn’t been any public Chunin Exams recently for reasons such as a large portion of Konoha being flattened by Pein.

“FIRST UP ARE OUR FIRST-YEAR EVENTS! And what an exciting round of events they are, perfect for debuting our newest students! Give us a shout so they can feel your support!”

Another loud shot as thousands of people yelled in unison.

“Come on! Louder than that! These are your future Heroes I’m talking about! SHOW THEM SOME LOVE!”

More yelling. Kakashi turns down the volume.

“But! Wait just a minute!! We're not only here for our Hero students! As I'm sure you all know, behind every great hero is a hardworking support team! GIVE IT UP FOR our Support, Management and General departments who are also competing for a chance to face off in the finals!”

Kakashi sighs. He is getting the sense that this might be more for entertainment than utility purposes, conforming to the general trend of Hero-related stuff being flashy. Different from the Chunin exam which had deadly consequences if not taken seriously.

“Hey. Hey! HERE THEY COME NOW! OUR STUDENTS PARTICIPATING IN THE FIRST YEAR STAGE!”

What follows is an overly dramatized race where the only thing of interest to him are the obstacle types, including robots, - mobile mechanical weapons of some sort that produced a lot of environmental damage but were taken down fairly easily- and explosive devices that acted a lot like explosive tags. Then there was a team elimination round and one-on-one tournament fights after which the coverage shifts to the second year and third year stages.

He uncovers the sharingun only to discover that, while its memorisation function worked fine, the part that translated the movements into muscle memory felt off. Perhaps, the replication and copying component of the eye didn’t work when viewing a technique through a screen rather than in person. Interesting. As there wasn't anything particularly impressive technique-wise during the events he counts the new information as a net gain. 

The student-heroes – he is not sure if there is an official term for a hero in training – barely match Konoha’s academy standard in their taijutsu and physical conditioning though there was marked improvement between first, second and third-year groups. These students were what...between 14-18 years old...and yet most had the skill level of an academy  students and fresh genuin with only a few notable exceptions?

Sure, there were - honestly ridiculous- versatile and powerful bloodline abilities being thrown around like nothing, but ninjutsu techniques only took a shinobi so far without a strong base to work from. He shakes his head, reminding himself that these kids - because what else did you call combatants who hadn’t graduated yet- weren’t shinobi in training and would be policing civilians and engaging ‘Villains’ of similar skill levels. It was obvious that the students favoured non-lethal takedown methods and put little to no thought into stealth and misdirection during fights. 

Different words…different priorities. 

As Kakashi has yet to see any evidence that the country, Japan, was at war with another he thinks the skill level displayed might be serviceable. There were also no major conflicts between the country’s large cities over farmland, water sources and the like. Obviously, this place had sorted out the resource and distribution issues usually encountered when supporting such large populations. Or, who knows, maybe everything on the television was a carefully constructed lie to lull people into complacency.

Now he has seen an example of hero-students, he better understands the low combat ability demonstrated by the police. It also gives incite into the blurry recordings of Hero/Villain confrontations which played on repeat across the various ‘news’ reports. They all tended to hover around Chunin or maybe Special Jounin in terms of skill. He knows generalisations are dangerous so, until he saw the combat in person, he would exercise his usual level of caution. There were bound to be outliers after all-the impressive brute strength of the number one hero comes to mind- and there was no telling what advantages a bloodline ability might provide. Absently, he makes testing the susceptibly of people without chakra to genjustu as something to figure out sooner rather than later.

He sighs. This is why he hated the television. Whenever he watched it, he came away increasingly confused, with more questions than he had answers. Not to mention anything useful being constantly interrupted with information detailing one of the many products that he could apparently buy here. It irritated him to no end. 

...

...

The chakra collecting seal is ready before the week is out. Mostly ready...it was ready enough.

Kakashi returns to the roof. Sitting cross-legged, back against the stairway entrance, he works his way through the 100 or so pens, cracking them open and tapping out ink into a large bowl, stolen -like the pens -from hospital staff.

The mix of black, blue and red ink is gluggy, forcing him to add water to thin the solution out. Once satisfied he pulls out an appropriated scalpel – one of a growing collection hidden alongside his pens because having a stash of weapons is never a bad thing- pricking his middle finger, watching the blood drip and curdle with the mixture. The blood would be absorbed into the ink, allowing it to conduct chakra. He mixes everything with pair of disposable chopsticks, taking care not to spill it on the ground or stain his hands.

The whole process reminds him of other insistences where he had improvised fuinjutsu ink in the field. The last time being during his final Anbu missions where he had created a body storage scroll from scratch after unexpectedly losing a squad mate on what should have been a simple intel retrieval mission. Not a particularly fond memory but a memory he was stuck with.

Since his demotion to Jonin-sensei there had been fewer of those sorts of missions. Not that being a Jonin-sensei had been easy – considering all his students had gone off to find other teachers he didn't even think he had been particularly good at it - bringing with it its own special brand of stress, culminating in a stint as Hokage, a fourth war and him stuck here. He is pretty sure his experiences aren't universal. Team 7 was just cursed to fail in increasingly spectacular ways.

He lets out a heavy sigh, leaving his airways open to a sudden gust of cold wind which carries the scent of cleaning chemicals from the hospital and oil from the road straight up his nose. He exhales forcefully and mentally bumps finding a face mask up his list of priorities. It would be good for hiding his features and dulling the artificial smells of a city housing over a million people.

The sound of wind whistling around the building almost blocks out the echo of feet in the stairway, approaching his location. In one smooth motion, Kakashi stands pushing the remaining broken pen back into the vent, nudging the cover back in place with his foot. Carefully he holds the bowl of ink in his injured arm and a scalpel in the other. Kakashi steps back against the entrance so the outward opening door would hide him from whoever came out.

A crying kid comes barrelling through the door.

Well, not completely crying, more like sniffing loudly, eyes all shiny. He even recognises the kid from the U.A combat demonstration, as improbable as that was. It is the first year hero student with the speed-enhancing ability which, seeing him up close, probably had something to do with the strange growths coming out of his caff muscles. High speed movement put enormous strain on the body so he could reasonably conclude that the kid was physically resilient to acceleration stress and similar forces. Not resilient to stabbing though....

Kakashi forces himself to relax, his scalpel lowering ever so slightly. Lucky he had heard the kid coming or he might have accidentally hurt him. A few weeks of reduced sleep coupled with a lot of time to ruminate on past missions and failures has put him on edge. This was exactly why he disliked taking extended breaks. 

Maybe, Kakashi should start relocking the stairway if he was planning to make regular trips up here because the young male probably hadn’t had the roof in mind as a destination. Kakashi knows from experience that, unless you were injured or a member of staff, there were few good reasons to wander around a hospital at odd hours.

With the hero-student distracted sniffling into his arm, Kakashi slips around the door and back down the stairs. He hadn’t planned on applying the seal on the roof anyway. Too exposed to the elements and the concrete was too rough for the delicate line work.

He continues mixing while he walks, having mentally mapped the hospital well enough to know which hallways to use and which to avoid. There is a surgeon with some sort of heat-sensing vision who works late most nights that he must be careful around and a nurse with a weak proximity based empathic ability working in paediatrics. Both obstacles force him to take a meandering detour on his way to the ground floor and  the larger shower blocks which housed  cubicles the size of small rooms. Enough smooth floorspace for the expanded seal design and easy to clean afterwards. He supposes he is lucky, some complicated fuinjutsu required several meters worth of floor space. The containment on Saskue’s cursed seal comes to mind and he is glad that this seal is infinity smaller.

Not one to waste time knowing that nurses and patients regularly used the space even this late in the evening, he immediately slips into a cubicle upon arrival. Flopping onto the floor he pulls out the paintbrush he had had scour the hospital for and eventually to steal from the children’s ward. Carefully, he begins the slow process of application.

…

…

The final seal design is circular, about the size of his splayed hand, positioned on his uninjured shoulder just above where his Anbu seal had previously sat. The sleepwear provided by the hospital had sleeves that extend just past his bicep. It hid the design, for the most part. The final visible seal is a bit bigger than he had predicted or planned for. If this were a proper infiltration mission, where blowing his cover came at the price of death, he would be in big trouble. If this were a proper mission, he would have waited before applying this. An unnecessary risk. He itches the back of his head, turning from where he is craning his neck to see the seal, gathering up his supplies to be thrown in one of the hospital’s many rubbish bins. Kakashi lets out a breath. Maybe, this whole ‘trapped in a different world’ thing is affecting him more than he was willing to admit and making him sloppy.

He pulls down the sleeve so it mostly hides the design. Not like the doctors here would recognise the significance of fuinjutsu, he reminds himself, even if their questions would be annoying to deflect.

He pumps chakra into the seal and a jolt akin to lightning runs down his limb. It activates without issue and Kakashi grimaces as his chakra is slowly drained and collected. The rate of the drain is pathetically slow. Three years too slow. But, between this and his sharingan - which was always active and draining chakra- he can’t risk making it quicker. Despite the relatively low-level threats around him, Kakashi is, first and foremost, a Jonin in an unknown territory who is already taking risks simply making and applying the seal. He can’t afford to impair himself with poor chakra management on top of everything else.

Kakashi pops his head out of the cubical, scanning the shower block. Nothing of note has changed and he darts out, intent on returning to his room. He is tired and it would be a long, tiresome week as his body adjusted to the strain as well.

NEXT  

[mintseesaw]

Aurora | 4

Pairing: general!jungkook x reader!princess x prince!jimin Genre: angst, fluff, historical au, forbidden love affair au Word count: 8.3k Warnings: themes of abduction and insurgence, imposing abortion as a punishment, story setting is heavily patriarchal // rating: 18+

translations of unfamiliar words will be provided below ^^

*unedited

masterlist

Previously...

“Did you miss me, Princess ________?” You heard him greet from behind. The sultry yet sweet tone of his voice, compelling you to face him as if your unwillingness to meet him so suddenly wasn’t there, anymore.

With a graceful turn, your solicitous expression caused by your unintended tryst last night gone in a flash tipping your chin forward to display a false confidence in front of the prince.

The amusement on his face widens, taking notice of the exceptional glow radiating from the princess. Have you been dolling yourself up just for him? The certain strangeness in the dark of your orbs igniting fire in him before he blinks and it vanishes, gone without a trace of acknowledgement from the weight of your stare.

He crosses the offending distance, smiling sweetly before he took hold of your hand and kisses your knuckles with an ardent gaze clashing against yours that harbor the coldness he had grown accustomed with.

“My lord,” an old man hurriedly attended to Jungkook just as he took an empty table without a word. Must be the owner of the stall. Uttering his request, the owner bobbed his head low before vanishing from his line of vision.

He was supposedly going to have breakfast with you after having tediously cooked the dishes, himself. The lack of light in your eyes and your dead enthusiasm had spoiled his appetite, and severely wounded his soul. Nothing could probably ease the ache sitting beneath his ribcage. Not when the intimacy he shared with you the night before and your cold treatment of him earlier painfully reverberated in his head like a roaring thunder in the sky.

You, giving him mixed signals, confused the hell out of his weak, young heart. 

What am I supposed to do with you, Jagiya?

Perhaps, it was the uncertainty that was instigated by your emotions. That must have been the only reason.

Shortly after, the old man came back with an empty cup, pouring it full with rice wine from the bronze pitcher he brought with him. Jungkook mumbled an audible thanks before chugging down the alcohol like an angry man on his bad day.

“This isn’t something we both have a choice of.”

Your voice echoes in his head. A sweet, delicate voice that could easily slice his heart into two with your mere heartless words. A smirk made its way on his face, despite the amusement never reaching up his eyes.

There is nothing left to decide on because you’ll be with him in the end. He wouldn’t leave you, again. He wouldn’t lose his only chance he has to claim you as rightfully his. When he almost lost you back in the days you were young, right in his arms, before his eyes— it was the day he promised to show you what his heart truly desires. Whatever the cost may be.

He had never been that frantic in his life. Not even when he saw with his own eyes the deep cut in his arm gushing too much blood when he was young. Not when two poisonous arrows almost killed him in the battlefield.

When he stripped the covering off of the suspicious cart in search of any sign of you, the last thing he was expecting to see was your unconscious body, with your restrained arms and a piece of cloth stuffed in your mouth. With your aristocratic braids gone, he couldn’t see much of your face as your hair hung loose covering half of your face as your body lied down in a foetal position, as if you tried to make up with the little space the average sized cart provided which was filled dominantly by materials of what looked like rolls of linens of various colors.

He knew it was you.

Despite the filth covering your attire down to the skin of your bare hands, and your seemingly thinner frame, the mere sight of the body screams everything about you.

At the time, his younger self was almost sure he was going to explode at any moment from the excruciating constriction in his chest.

His eyes were livid while they scanned over the blood bathed bodies scattered around the cart that were slain by the sharp edges of his sword, looking for another sign of danger. When he was certain that none of the rebels on the ground were moving, he dropped his weapon.

“Princess!” He calls out, his bloody hands leaving imprints of the dirt-covered article of your hanbok as he shook your shoulders none too gently, desperate to wake you.

To no avail, you remain unconscious. The sight of you in a devastating state dreaded him. His younger self thought his world right there and then was collapsing, his surroundings slowing down and his gaze shrinking and focusing into you alone. Not even a pittance of fear shook him despite killing a group of rebels, none of the fact that he stood there alone fighting for his life did. None. Not until he pulled the bamboo mat off of the cart.

Where the fuck is that old man?

It’s been hours since Lord Min suddenly came up to his residence, forcing him out of his slumber at dawn without telling him the purpose of his abrupt disturbance.

When the scholar said he found another lead, Jungkook only took it lightly—not knowing it would turn out to be the key to finally locate you.

Lord Min led him to a trail behind a group of merchants who were supposed to exchange goods on the capital’s port with Mongolian merchants. When the suspicious group split into two directions— it left him and the scholar no option but to part ways as well. However, Jungkook insisted on following the merchants who particularly brought their supposed cart of goods.

As soon as he took his outer layer of robe to cover it on your shivering body, the morning breeze hits him mercilessly. Discreetly, he gathers you in his arms. As he sets you on his lap on the ground, he removes the cloth in your mouth, while pressing a trembling hand on your chest to feel your heartbeat.

“Your Highness,” he tried once more when he sensed a faint beating against your chest. His hands shuffle to remove the tie around your wrists.

“Come on… open your eyes for me, Princess.” He whispered desperately, tears freely rolling down on his cheeks without him ever noticing.

He gasped when he caught the slightest bit of movement from you. He thought he might have been hallucinating out of his desperation to see you alive. But then, you proved him wrong as your heavy eyelids slowly peeled open, before they closed shut, again.

“Your Highness! Please… do you hear me? Can you open your eyes again?”

You did, and with your slightly parted mouth, you drew a breath in heavily.

“W-Who are you?” you managed to rasp, almost inaudibly. However, he was too close not to miss what you said. Too close to be deemed righteous around the lady he desires. He didn’t care, because your cold body needed as much as heat from him. Nothing else mattered more to him than to save your life.

“It’s me, Jungkook. I am Prince Taehyung’s friend—“

“I-I… must… be dreaming,” you croaked in between dry, painful coughs.

“You’re not dreaming. Please, don’t talk. It's hurting you.” He chokes back a sob.

“Is this real? You finally noticed me,” you pause, only to breathe through your mouth once more. “I’m… tired, I want to rest,” you say without opening your eyes. But the moisture pooling out of your eyes meant one thing to him. You’ve been suffering from immense pain.

“No, no, no. Please, stay with me. Lord Min is coming to get us. He’ll be here soon,” he coos, not caring how he sounded a little more desperate, taking your cold hands up in his mouth to warm them up.

Jungkook continuously rocked your shivering body back and forth on his lap, never removing his eyes on you. He wanted to embrace you tight, cover you with his body to protect you from the horrible cold of the morning weather but he was afraid he would crush you.

He waited, waited and helplessly waited. Lord Min would come find him. That was what he reminded Jungkook as before they parted ways in the woods.

It was him and Lord Min who found you, even when the King had ordered a mass search for his missing daughter.

---

Although your disappearance was largely perceived as abduction, neither evidence nor eye witness was found to support the claim, hence stirring the urge to find you, himself. Roughly 10 days after you were last seen, not even a single trace of your whereabouts had been identified. Something was definitely off with the way the case was being handled. The lack of progress on the investigation drove the King in extreme desperation as well as the court in anguish due to the King’s adverse political decisions.

In spite of the rumors of insurgence spreading like a common gossip story in the villages surrounding the capital, the rumors fall on deaf ears in the court on the possibility that your disappearance was plotted by the rebel forces. As if the missing person was not a princess whom the rebels could use as a pawn to bend the King on his knees.

Jungkook spent most of his days in the capital, inside the gambling houses, pretending to play with men of all sorts of class. On some days, he visited the courtesan’s house capital marketplace under the disguise of an interested guest due to the rumors that some gisaengs, at the time, were avid followers of the insurgence. At nights, he pieced together the collective stories he tediously gathered during the day.

One day, he decided to make progress on his investigation, spying on a group of merchants trading with Jurchen merchants who were pretending under the guise of Mongolian heritage. It was Mina, a gisaeng whom he somehow befriended when his visits at the courtesan’s house had frequented, who shared her discovery of a Mongolian merchant accidentally revealing his identity when he fluently spoke a dialect she distinguished as her mother tongue since she was a Jurchen-born immigrant.

He didn’t find any suspicious or illegal goods being traded on the port nor could he confirm the real heritage of the merchants. However, on his way back to the capital, he was cornered by a man he recognized as one of the merchants in the port.

To his surprise, the merchant was strangely skilled enough to defeat him in a fight— scoring a severe cut on Jungkook’s side. He didn’t think the merchant would be merciful enough to let him live when Jungkook fell to the ground after what seemed like several minutes of intense sword-to-sword combat. Strangely enough, the merchant was forgiving and instead of ending the life out of him, the merchant took his time to scrutinize every item inside the satchel Jungkook brought with him. By then, he had already sensed that the man was anything but a mere trader.

Breathing heavily, he pressed his hand hard to his bloody waist as he watches the merchant curiously unfold a piece of hanji. It was the trade map he had drawn a few days ago, alongside the location where the camp can be found.

Jungkook knew it was over for him as he saw a glint of recognition in the eyes of the merchant.

After what seemed to be a long moment of silence, the merchant looks at him. “What is this map for?”

Jungkook laughed dryly and as his shoulders shook a little, a surge of pain shot in his core. He winces as the sensation doubled over his effort to make fun of the act the merchant was pulling in front of him.

“Are you one of them?”

If the merchant understood what he meant, he simply chose to ignore it. “I’m asking you a question, kid.”

“You’re one of them, are you not? I’m most certain you know what that map is.” Jungkook gritted through his teeth as the pain on his side intensified, spreading like a magma on his midriff.

By now, the merchant’s focus zeroed in on him. “You know about the camp? Who do you work for, kid?” The merchant interrogates, further. Though the man remained passive, Jungkook found it odd to notice the slightest bit of awe in the eyes of the strange man. 

“You tell me, you act like you know my every activity.”

The merchant only raised an eyebrow. “Well, here’s the truth. I’m not a rebel. I’m not a merchant, either. I will help you if you tell me what you have gotten about the camp so far.”

Jungkook darted a glare at him. “As you can see, I’m heavily wounded, literally. You think I still care?”

“You’ll live,” the merchant dismisses nonchalantly, which made Jungkook scoff in disbelief.

“Look kid, I’m not going to kill you. But in exchange for your life, you’ll help me follow the movement.”

“It’s not like you gave me an option to decline.” Jungkook weakly contended.

The merchant effortlessly helped him up from the ground, “Come on, my grandfather is a physician. He’ll tend to your wound.”

Jungkook learned that the merchant who introduced himself as Lord Min turned out to be a scholar. He was writing a case relative to the alleged insurgence centering mostly in poor villages in the capital. Although he didn’t fully trust the scholar, sparing Jungkook his life was enough reason for him to disclose the true nature of his investigation to the scholar who was, at the time, penning colloquial stories about the insurgence.

Lord Min paused his scribbling, throwing a look of surprise at his new-found friend. “Did I hear you right? You believed the princess was abducted by the rebels?”

Jungkook only shrugged, already concluding what the scholar would say next. “It’s not the first time someone thought I was going crazy for telling them that.”

“Don’t get me wrong. I have been following the movement for months now,” Lord Min asserted, which prompted Jungkook to look back at him. “And since I heard about the sudden disappearance of the princess, it was the only theory I could come up with. Unless…” Lord Min trailed, taking notice of the interest glinting in Jungkook’s eyes.

“Unless?” Jungkook echoed expectantly.

Lord Min pretended to be in deep thought before adding up, “There is a lover involved.”

In disbelief, Jungkook threw a scornful look at him. “There’s no man in her life, I’m sure of that.” He remarked with conviction, folding his arms in his chest.

To his surprise, Lord Min hollered into fits of laughter, only severing the look of disdain on Jungkook’s expression. “For a young soldier like you, you seemed to be a little more concerned about the princess.” The older man remarked, meaningfully.

---

“Isn’t it too early to be drinking on your own, kid?” Taunts a voice, forcing him out of his reverie. With a lift of his head, his eyes landed on a commoner seemingly older than him adorned in a daffodil shade of a simple robe. Half of the man’s face was covered in conical shaped hat and just as the man tipped it high with his fingers, Jungkook immediately recognized the person standing across his table.

Your breath hitches on your throat as the warmth of his mouth sends tingles straight through your veins. With a subtle tug of your hand from his hold, the prince almost didn’t take your silent plea, not without his companion guard clearing their throat that snapped him out of daze.

If there’s particularly one thing that stood out to him aside from his aristocratic, --almost polished physical features, it was his forthright admission of his feelings on you. The was the he had made a move in regards to feelings. You appreciate the way he had not once tried to break into your boundaries for his satisfaction.

After what had happened, the least person you expected to see is him. The only man who had the guts to be with you despite the rumors that tainted your reputation. Guilt thrums heavily through your veins more than the throbbing of your muscles in your body.

Jimin deserves someone far better than what you can offer. Not with your heart, and most definitely not with your broken chastity.

“Your Excellency,” you greeted, tilting your head low in a subtle bow. Your eyes stayed firm on the ground, refusing to return his stare as you murmur, “I trust your journey has not been too much for you?”

You missed the way your concern roused a smile up on his flawless face or you would have flushed right away. “It was as expected. I am an impatient man, but it was worth the trouble now that my reward is standing in front of me.”

Taken aback at this teasing remark, your mouth unconsciously parted. You didn’t have the time to retract from the proximity he initiated just as he extended his arm, his palm meeting one of your cheeks as he tilts your chin up to meet his gaze. The pad of his thumb feather lightly caresses the softness of your skin there.

The abruptness of his move left you immobile for a moment, the heat coming from his hand involuntarily eliciting goosebumps to come out on your covered arms.

“Have you been well, little flower? I couldn’t be at peace knowing your health is not in the best condition. I was a thread of breath away from forcing my way into your quarters just to check on you myself, but you may never forgive me for if I ever disrespect your privacy.”

“There’s nothing to worry of. Mayhaps... my body has not been reacting too kindly to the cold weather. I had since taken herbal teas to help me recover.” The lie glided smoothly out of your tongue, piercing your lower lip with your teeth to prevent yourself from throwing up out of disgust.

The way his head bobs up lightly made you believe he bought your excuse. “Very well. Will you allow me to accompany you?” He whispers, as if it’s possible to turn down a powerful man like him. 

“Of course, Your Excellency.” The smile you plastered on your face was enough to conceal your fears for now.

At your answer, the court ladies immediately hurried towards the recreational area, pulling the wooden chairs for you and the prince to sit on.

You take the opportunity to pull back from his touch as an excuse to occupy one of the chairs. 

Mimicking your move, he settled on a seat, one that was the closest to yours. He then motions a dismissive wave on the watchful eyes of his guards, giving him and the rest of the court ladies a silent order to leave you two alone. With a bow, everyone retreated back down onto the ground, obediently.

As he turns his attention back at you, he asks, “Do you like to tease me, Princess?”

“W-What do you mean?” Your stutter evoked a subtle grin to reappear on the corners of his mouth. While your insides are a mess, the delight shining in his eyes lets you know he couldn’t see right through your miserable heart.

The subtle smile on the corners of his mouth stretches wider, “You know I like it when you call me by my name.”

His teasing once again scores a twin stain on your cheeks. Although you remain placid with his remark, he didn’t miss the immediate rush of blood coloring your face that, in return, earned a smirk from him.

Blinking, you straightened your back. “Why are you not appropriately dressed for the season, Your Excellency?”

Prince Jimin beamed in your attempt of changing the subject, eyes glimmering in glee. “My attire is fine. Mayhaps, if you are concerned, I can put on another layer of thick robe.”

Quickly, you shake your head. “There’s no need for such if you don’t feel like the weather is too much for you. Winter has just begun and only a few weeks more before the weather becomes unbearable, especially for envoys like yourself.”

“I can only imagine how our departure would be like.”

“You chose to come to the kingdom during the winter. Is there something that’s urgent on your purpose not to delay it until the weather has calmed down?”

”The only urgent thing I found was to see you. Have I not made it clear from the beginning?”

You purse your lips, afraid to voice out your thoughts. On the other hand, Jimin was way too deep in the subject to notice the slightest bit of trouble reflecting in your eyes.

“I didn’t think any woman would stir my interest after having my heart broken when I was young. You know, my brother—the Emperor gifted me a marriage in exchange for my service in the military. I was supposed to leave the palace for a while to visit my bride. The Emperor halted my plan only to have me represent him on his behalf during the coronation of Queen Soheon. If I didn’t come here, I would have been married by now.”

Burying your trembling hands on your lap, you distracted yourself with the beauty of the winter blooms on the pond, swallowing the gasp that threatened to spill as an involuntary reaction. His revelation left a lasting impact on you. In your head, you could hear yourself screaming the truth in front of him. He shouldn’t be this infatuated over you.

“Perhaps, you are well enough to company out of the palace? You still owe me a tour to the capital.” The prince posits all too suddenly.

Swiftly, he stood up and offered a helping hand in front of you. The sun is barely out, concealed with the thick layers of clouds to which is a great opportunity to wander around in the marketplace. Your false confidence slowly faltering as seconds turn to minutes with his gaze sweeping on your whole length. You accepted his hand, granting his wish. It was the least you could do to make up for him travelling a thousand miles to see you.

The following day, an event is set to be held in Changdeok to pay tribute for army’s victory in defeating the rebel forces in one of the borders in Joseon. Hours earlier than the customary outset in the palace, the finishing touches on the day’s festivities have already been wrapped up by the court ladies even before the sun rises on the east.

Historically, the day held no significance to the royal court nor to any prominent military figure in the nation. However, some weeks prior to the present day, the king received a letter from the young general relative to the army’s arrival to the capital, hence, the sudden establishment of a dogam to organize a jinchan for the returning heroes from the northern border.

With the anticipated attendance of the royal family in the morning banquet, you were forced to rise at dawn to prepare for your participation for the festivity.

Shortly after the attendants have finished braiding your hair, your morning tea was served just before you are set to leave your quarters.

“There will be two more banquets after the event in the morning, Your Highness.” Hyowon, one of the court ladies attending to your daily nourishment answers when you absentmindedly voiced out your thought as she pours a tea on your cup.

Fortunately, you were not foolish enough to utter the name of the man who’s been haunting your dreams since time immemorial. She may only be a distant relative of Jungkook, but the same blood runs thick in their veins and you wouldn’t want to embarrass yourself in front of anyone, much less to anyone related to him.

You nodded, taking your cup and hold it up to your lips.

Traditionally, the nighttime festivity is said to be the most anticipated from all sorts of celebrations as the audience who are commonly from noble descent look forward on the performances of high-class entertainers. Jungkook is obligated to attend all the events for the day as one of the honorary guests of the jinchan.  

The supposed banquet is going to be your first attendance in a political gathering ever since you were given the title of a gongju on your seventh birthday. The thought was making you uneasy in some way in case something unforeseen transpires during the celebration, that it would be denunciated by the curse you were forced to live with in your lifetime. However, the thought of him present in the same room with you brings more in disarray. 

A court lady from the dogam came to escort you to the reception afterwards. And not long after the arrival of Queen, the massive doors of the dining hall flew opened, revealing the King as he enter the premises.

Perhaps, you would still have had a clear view on whole expanse of the dining hall if not for the ivory article covering the totality of the platform where you and the rest of the royal palace women.

Meals have been simultaneously served just as the King had announced the ceremonial toast indicating the beginning of the celebration. An instrumental piece played by the musicians proceeded after, keeping the atmosphere pleasantly solemn despite the audible chatters in the hall.

From your seat, you could only see the king’s back as he led the banquet—sitting at the head of the table while the rest of the state and military officials sat in two long sets of vertically-arranged sobans. Despite the barrier, it was not difficult for you to locate where the man of your thoughts was settled at just by the mere sight of his silhouette. There he was beside Prince Taehyung, seemingly fascinated with the performances on the center if not occupied with something Prince Taehyung was telling him.

You could never change the way you treated him so poorly, yesterday. Your hostility was uncalled for, but perhaps, it was enough to displease him enough to lose his interest in you.

“You are not eating your meal, Gongju. Are the dishes not to your liking?” Princess Consort Sooyoung asks. Unlike you, your sister-in-law seems to enjoy the sumptuous serving on the soban, as opposed to your lack of enthusiasm on the food.

“It’s not that. Perhaps, it was too early for me to consume anything solid after I had my morning the tea.”

You drag your hand up on the table, picking up the pair of chopsticks to nestle them in between your fingers. To ease her worry, you attempted to touch the sweet flavored delicacy among the servings.

The banquet progressed rather slowly. As hours passed by, your legs grew numb from the lack of physical movement. It didn’t help that the remnants of muscle aches from your intimacy with Jungkook still lingers. Your sister-in-law caught the discomfort in your expression.

“Gongju,” Princess Consort Sooyoung calls for your attention, once more.

Tearing your gaze away from Jungkook, you tilt your head on the side to meet her solicitous eyes.

“Is your breathing alright? I noticed your heaving has frequented.”

“Uhh...I’m alright, Bubuin.” You falter. Instinctively, your eyes flew back to where he was situated. Your sister-in-law followed the trail of your gaze, and it was only then that she had pieced together the reason.

She chuckles softly, “I thought you were having difficulty with your breathing.”

Your face incredibly flushed with her words.

She didn’t attempt to speak to you after that, seemingly distracted in one of the ceremonial performances of the banquet.

Three hours later, the first phase of the jinchan had finally come to conclude to your relief.

When it was your turn to be escorted out of the hall, you couldn’t help but skim your eyes across the expansive lot. Of course, the chances of running into him are very slim to none. Not only that he was in a rush to leave the reception, but he would also take the path on the west out of the palace while you would take the opposite direction to go back to your quarters.

You thought wrong. Because the moment you arrive at the entrance of the Gyeongbok, you catch on the back of his frame on the small stretch between the library and the tall concrete wall.

Your heart instantly jumped at the mere sight of him adorned on the same uniform he wore the day before. But something didn’t make sense. What is he doing in the main palace—hiding there right after the banquet has ended?

The court lady remained still behind you as you tried to build up the courage to approach him. Perhaps, apologize for your behavior yesterday. But then as he shifted on his feet, you caught a glimpse of a hanbok across him— appearing nothing like the clothing of any man. A lady.

“You have the freedom to choose any woman in your life.”

Your own words hurriedly came rushing back on you, nearly losing your footing when the weight on your chest grew heavier. You couldn’t breathe.

“Princess—” you jumped at the sound of a low baritone voice from behind, the same voice you’ve known by heart since you were little. 

Sheepishly, you turned to face your brother, his forehead crumpled causing his eyebrows to meet into a line.

“You looked like you’ve seen an apparition,” Prince Taehyung jests, with his face remaining passive without a trace of playfulness despite his obvious teasing.

That’s because you did! You seethed, internally. With an ugly emotion slowly seeping through your veins, you find it difficult to display indifference as if something—someone was not putting you in an emotional distress.

“Your Excellency,” you greeted half-heartedly.

“You are aware about the luncheon tomorrow, right? I am expecting you in my courtyard, little flower.”

“Of course,” You briefly answered. His face finally stretched into a grin, ruffling your neatly braided hair before bidding a farewell.

When you spun back to peer at the spot where Jungkook and his female companion were standing— nothing. No one was there anymore. Jungkook is gone, and so is the lady he was with.

The scene remained etched in your brain the rest of your day. Being unable to stay still in the confines of your quarters, you decided to do readings in in the library.

You were alone, just like what you have asked to your attendants, with the exception of a guard outside. Shortly after going through the shelves in the House of Yi section, you once again stumbled upon a book of biographical sketches after secretly reading the book several years ago. The sight of it alone refreshes your memory of the things you have discovered written in the pages of the books—specifically about Princess Moyoung, your grandfather’s eldest sister who slowly died in the hands of her husband who was born from a fourth class family.

It was said to be the matter that pressured the next royal generations to marry off any king’s daughter to a yangban which was prohibited prior to the princess’ unfortunate case to avoid any arising political conflicts.

It was the same thought that bothered you even when you had gone back in your quarters, bathed, and dressed in your night robe. If your father were still living, would he insist on keeping you in the palace? Or would he allow your supposed matrimonial union with Jimin over one with Jungkook?

However, you understand that either selection is a sacrifice. Life is about losing something to gain something else. You know what will be taken from you if you were to possibly end up with Jungkook. But what could you have possibly gained if you were to lose the man who owns your soul? An extravagant life with the prince?

The ache in your heart has sat idly in your chest since this morning. Your time in the library seemed to have worsened your distress as pain starts to sear in your head.

You stood up. Your attendant mimicking your movement to smoothen the sleeves of your silk robe. “I do not wish to be followed,” you simply say. They crouched their upper body low, conveying a silent message of obedience.

As you pass through the L-shaped corridor leading to the outdoor of your quarters, the rectangular hallway making up the main pathway of the courtyard is eerily quiet and empty. With subtle luminance provided by the light torches on each post you passed by, it was just as exactly the way you expected Gyeongbok during this time around. The reason why you chose to be alone since no one else will run into your way this time of night.

However, at your third turn, just as you enter the borderline of the queen’s courtyard, you hear a distinct sound of door opening from afar followed by the heavy, collective footsteps ringing in the air. As the footsteps grew louder, you hurriedly ran to the side of the greenhouse to hide, afraid of being seen without a companion to look after your care.

“Your Majesty!”

You bite your lip as your heartbeat picks up at the sound of a male voice—assumingly the queen’s eunuch, as if in desperation to stop Her Majesty to wherever she intends to go at this hour.

You didn’t know how long you were hiding there at the side of the greenhouse but it wasn’t long enough for you to be able to hold your breath until the traces of the footsteps were fading.

When any sign of human sound was out of earshot, you finally heave a sigh out of relief, taking a solid peek through the corner of the wooden wall to confirm your guess. Considering the pathway clear and safe from any presence, you cautiously proceed back to your footpath.

Merely focused on either side of your vision, you failed to sense that someone was making their way onto your direction. Their presence became known only when your arm was snatched from behind and a calloused palm right away covered your mouth, losing your chance to call for help. Panic immediately surges through your veins, your shock causing you to freeze momentarily.

Even without having a single look at your perpetrator, the feel of his thick arm around your waist lets you know you don’t stand a chance against their immense built and incredible strength. Just as you recovered from your shock, you frantically squirmed about against their hold but the more you struggle, the tighter their arm gets around your waist, pulling you flushed against their body.

“Why is Lady Yi- being punished?” Demanded Queen Soheon the moment she stepped foot inside the King’s quarters.

King Namjoon sprang up to his feet to meet her half-way, concern stirring immediate in him at the sight of his wife, noting the way her voice unusually croaked and holding such heavy emotion. He silently curses, taking notice how upset she had seemed to be over the scandal the concubine had caused all to herself.

“Sit down, my love. You shouldn’t allow your emotions to run high, it’s not good for your condition.”

Queen Soheon is always calm and graceful no matter how grave the situation is. He had not once witnessed her lose her innate grace ever since he married her, with the exception of the times he was intimate with her.

“Why?” She repeated, her eyes burning with fire.

“My love—”

“Jeonha, please… stop with your sweet filters and answer me why you didn’t stop them from forcing her to drink the medicine?”

He sighs just as he attempted to place her in his embrace. To his dismay, she pulled a good amount of distance between them, clearly setting the line of her anger on the matter, right straight to him.

How can he possibly be sure you would never find this matter out when only a slip of a tongue can give her the idea of what transpired some hours ago.

“You know I cannot disrespect Halma-mama’s power when it comes to the women in the inner court.”

As the Grand Royal Dowager Queen holds the highest rank in the inner court, it would only be necessary to say his grandmother ordered the punishment, when in fact it was never her idea to impose a harsh discipline on the concubine. However, the appeal of the elders in the inner court to decide on the fate of her unlawful conceiving resulted in a consensus decision to abort the unborn child. Unless the queen is proven to be sterile, the inner court strictly prohibits the harem to carry a King’s child. 

“She is carrying your child!”

He knows that, very well. But he wished his wife would refrain from carrying the weight of her emotions as it might put a toll on her health and consequently affect their unborn child. “Calm down,” King Namjoon prompted cautiously.

He could never forgive himself for failing to protect his unborn child from being stripped off the chance to live in a world where his/her father rules out a kingdom. Never in this lifetime and in the next would he ever learn to spare himself the forgiveness.

“You know, Lady Li and I are both with child. If I were not your queen, you’d simply allow them to get rid of my child, would you not?”

He reaches out, once more. “No, no. Of course, not. Not under my watch.”

But the queen was quick enough to retract from the close proximity.

Perhaps, he was right. He cannot have the power to overrule the inner court, but why does his words feel insincere? It made her suddenly fear for her own child’s life despite the position she holds. When her mother warned her about the sickening life in the palace and the doctrines in the inner court, she never thought it would come to this extent.

How can she look at his family and pretend everything is alright. One wrong move and might lose her child as well.

All too suddenly, she could feel herself slowly being overwhelmed with disgust, needing the urge to throw up.  

She couldn’t stand being here, to see anyone just yet. She fixes a glare at her attendants, warning them not to follow her. Her eyes lingered on him for a second before she took a swift turn, exiting her way out of the vicinity.

With quick strides, he followed her trail, only to spin back around, skimming through each one of servants in his quarters.

“No one must follow me or the queen,” his eyes particularly burned at his eunuch. “Do you understand?” He glowered, not waiting for them to answer as he too disappeared into the halls of his royal residence.

When you felt their grasp loosening, you began thrashing out as fear dominated your senses. Even with their hand pressed firmly on your mouth, you could hear your own sobs croaking out of your throat. And as if your pellucid fear had triggered them to stiffen, their hold around your waist loosened. But the adrenaline running in your senses all vanished the moment they finally spoke.

“Jagiya.”

Your eyes went round, recognizing the owner of the voice. He lets his hand fall from your mouth. 

”J-Jungkook?” you hesitated. While you remained flushed against his body, you couldn’t be sure of their identity.

Swiftly, he spun you around to confirm your assumption for yourself. The light torches were a little far where you two stood but there was no denying it was him, judging by the little features of his face you could make out through the help of the vibrant moon lighting up in the sky behind him.

Yet, his action had already shaken you up, feeling the loud beating of your heart. All of your emotional baggage rushing all at once, you couldn’t help but lash out to him, seeing his chest as a target to release all your frustrations.

“Why did you do that?! I thought I was being kidnapped,” you anguished, horror remained etched on your face.

He took all your hits without a fight as guilt all too sudden consumed him after realizing the effect of what he had done. “I’m sorry, Jagiya. I didn’t mean to scare you,” he murmurs, drying the moisture on the corners of your eyes with his thumbs. The moon was like a spotlight focused solely on yours, giving him the clear view of your weary face.

It wasn’t long before you calmed down. Now, all you feel is shame as your anger washes out of your system with every hit of your fist against his chest. Your head bobbed lower, “Just... don’t do that, again.”

Hearing him whisper a promise not to repeat the same mistake, you all but give him a curt nod, allowing the silence to fill in the moment.

Jungkook, once again, made you upset, the second time he had gotten himself close to you after his return to the capital. Must he keep making you in anguish just whenever he’s around you? It was wrong of him to catch your attention the way he had just done when he could’ve simply called you out to do it. But after seeing the queen and her maids passing by the same path you’re about to take, he didn’t want to make an unnecessary sound in case anyone’s lurking around without him seeing through the vicinity covered in almost pitch black.

He wondered why you seemed determined to go on your way despite going on around without a company. 

“Where are you going—”

“What are you doing here—”

You stilled just as he was surprised to hear you spoke the same time he decided to break the silence.

“I saw you going out of your quarters.” He simply answered. It was true. He left the festive banquet at the east to randomly visit your residence. He knew it would be unnecessary to invite himself into the premises so he just stood there, particularly waiting for nothing to kill time before he leaves the palace.

But then he saw the outermost doors of your residence opening, revealing none other than the subject of his thoughts. Then the rest was history.

“W-What? Are you spying on me?”

“Spying?” He chuckles at your choice of your words. He would’ve honestly accepted stalking better. “The banquet’s getting too loud to my liking. I’d rather spend my time with you. Mayhaps, luck is finally on my side when I saw you just in time— going out.”

Hearing his words earned a scoff from you. Wasn't he just with a woman this morning? Not to mention, it was one of the reasons why you randomly sought the need to breathe in some fresh air on a cold, winter night.

“I guess if you’re not distracted with your prince, you would have immediately caught the sound of my footing. Where are you going, anyway? Will you go see him?”

Your mouth parted in disbelief, “You didn’t hear anything from me when you were the one hiding with a woman just this morning.”

Hiding with a woman? For a second, his forehead crumpled in thought, recalling his activities prior to this moment. He couldn’t seem to remember when he actually hid with a woman. He didn’t even talk to any woman earlier in the morning, except for a friend—

“Ahh,” He hums in understanding, “Jagi, I’m not hiding with Mina—”

“Mina?”

He recalls speaking with Mina after the latter who belonged to the group of gisaengs during the banquet who recognized him inside the reception and was only able to catch up after him at the entrance main palace. Mina enthusiastically dragged him behind the closest infrastructure to briefly speak to him in peace without potentially attracting an audience.

“I met her a long time ago. Jagiya—“

“Forget it,” you immediately dismissed, but with him not missing the way color bloomed on your cheeks. “It’s not my business to hold it against you. You’re free to do as you wish.”

Are you being serious? How can you think he can be possibly interested to another woman? 

He tilts your chin up so he can see your pretty eyes, clearly. “What are you saying, Jagiya? I thought we’ve already established that I’m yours. Have I not?”

He heard no answer from you, but didn’t miss the subtle shake of your head.

“No?” He echoes, the frown on his face deepens. Still, you refused to speak nor return the heavy weight of his peer.

“Our lovemaking wasn’t enough, was it?” His sudden brought up to the matter which should never be spoken of made you dart your eyes back up at him. There it was again, the same emotions reflecting in your eyes the morning when you put a cold shoulder at him. He couldn’t quite decipher the signals you were giving him.

“Jungkook, we’re not together anymore.”

“Then would you rather be with the prince over me?”

You look away, even though you really wanted to give an answer. 

“I haven’t seen your beautiful smile since I came back, Jagi. But you were smiling a lot around him. Gods, was I jealous when you showed him of such privilege I was deprived of.” He groans, slowly inching his face closer, as if testing your reaction to his advance.

He took your lack of withdrawal as a sign to keep going. Silently, you gave him the freedom to intrude your personal space.

“You saw us,” you murmur, confirming it to yourself more than throwing it as a question to him.

Your jaw went slack, shamelessly anticipating for his lips to touch yours. Closer. Until your noses bumping, his mouth a breath away from touching your plump lips. It almost happened. Almost. Because just as he shifts his head a centimeter forward, finally capturing your awaiting lips with his, a cry of protest loudly resonated through the air, echoing as the sound bounces back from the empty silence.

“Stop following me!” The voice was undoubtedly owned by a woman.

If Jungkook didn’t recognize  the voice, you certainly did. Her voice was too familiar for you not to identify her as the Queen, forcing you to draw back from the proximity immediately. Once again, panic courses through you, rapidly consuming your senses as fear worsened your capability to think rationally in a situation such as this.

Your wide eyes stared back Jungkook in a silent plea.

It wasn’t clear to you how far she was from both of you, but the nearing claps of footsteps tells you the queen and whoever was following her are passing by behind the greenhouse. If they decided to take a turn right across where you two stood, they will certainly not miss the sight of you seemingly in a rendezvous with Jungkook.

“I said—Jeonha!”

You gasp, slapping a hand to your mouth, utterly stunned at what you just heard. Jeonha? Does that mean she was addressing her order to your brother?

“The K-King is here...” you stammer.

He hushed you, silently telling you to keep still as he cages you against the outer wall of the greenhouse, as if shielding you from any potential eyesight. He was too close as he let his head hang low just beside the shell of your ear. You could hear his heavy breathing, the warmth oozing naturally from his body seemed to calm your nerves in some way, nearly forgetting about the predicament both of you are in, nearly missing the silence lingering in the air.

Are they gone?

Despite your pellucid reaction, Jungkook seems not one bit shaken by the fact you two are a thread away from being seen together in the dark.

Suddenly, he shifted onto your left, breaking his manmade territory around you to move further away from where you two were supposed to be hiding.

“Jungkook!” you desperately called for his attention in a panicked whisper.

Nervously, you watch his back as he extends his neck to peep behind the greenhouse. It didn’t take him long before he whirled back around, and in a flash, grapples your wrist and dragged you into the opposite direction.

“Where are we going?”

Though Jungkook could hear the agitation in your tone, he ignored your question, averting his focus to hide you and make no sound at all. The couple turned out to be closer than he had guessed them to be.

Just as he stopped in front of the doors of the greenhouse, he heard you argue about his choice of hiding spot, but ignored you for the second time.

In a calculated shuffling on the rusted bar keeping the twin panel of doors closed, he flicked it up, allowing him to push one of the doors open. The firm grip of his fingers on your waist was all you could focus on as he urged you to enter inside the greenhouse. Carefully, he pushed the door back closed, dragging you with it as he pressed your back against the cold surface. His hands on both sides of your head as he rests his forehead against the door, just above your shoulder. You couldn’t see much of the view behind him because of the lack of light inside. But the moonlight seeping through the transparent roofing of the greenhouse was enough to give you the faintest possible light to make out the features of his frame.

“It was too quiet, isn’t it? I thought the queen and king were gone.”

“We were intruding them,” he simply replied.

“W-What?”

He shifted his head to the side and before you knew it, a pair of warm lips touched yours in fervor. Jungkook has never been this bold before to break your personal space nor touches without asking your permission.

Years without seeing him, you understand that he might have grown into a persona different from what you know of him. When you saw him that weary day after four years, you picked up a sense of strangeness in his aura. Perhaps, it is his confidence or the powerful aura he naturally emits that made you speechless.

Groaning as the feel of your mouth accelerated the temperature of his body, Jungkook deepens the kiss with his tongue pushing passed your parted lips.

The way he held you in place, with his hands on your face and his torso locking you firm against the door, you didn’t expect him to withdraw from the kiss so soon which resulted in a soft breathy whine to slip out of your throat.

“Perhaps that answered your question,” he says, picking up the teasing tone in his voice. Jungkook dipped his head lower, burying his head on the crook of your neck to press a warm, wet kiss on the same spot he bruised purple two nights ago.

grand royal dowager queen - spouse of a former king; presently the king’s grandmother Halma-mama - how the royal grandchildren address their grandmother gongju - title of a princess bubuin - title of princess consort (wife of a prince) gisaeng - female entertainer yangban - any nobleman holding a government position dogam - a committee/body authorized to organize a royal event jinchan - other term for royal banquet soban - other term for a traditional table used in joseon era hanji - other term for traditional korean paper Changdeok - East Palace Gyeongbok - Main Palace/main residence of the royal family

note: after posting 4 chapters of the series, im finally opening a tag list skskssksjsj hahaahaha if u lovelies want to be tagged in the future chapters, send me your url here.

mintseesaw © 2020

[writeiolite]

how aboutttttt a oikawa trying to help with ease ur hiccups ??? liKe i think its cute that he tries to scare u at first but THEN REALIZE IFU HELD UR BREATH IT WORKS BETTER so what better way to do that than giving you one breathless kiss ✨ idk if it helps but i think it’s aDorAbLE 🥺🥺 — 🌚 anon

did it work?

who: oikawa x gn!reader

what: fluff

plot: oikawa vs ur hiccups

wc: 440

He heard it the first time and it made him a little curious.

A second and he’s sneaking up behind a peaceful you at your quaint little desk.

A third and-

“AHH!”

“AHHH- TOORU!”

You clutch your chest, feeling like there’s something hollow there now. Considering how hard he made you scream, there probably is. Who could keep their soul intact after that?

“Did it work, Y/N-chan?” He asks, his voice peppy and cheerful. He’s turned your chair around, his hands still gripping the back of it and causing him to be right in front of you. The little stars in his eyes and the faintest of freckles on his face are visible, and you wonder if maybe he took your breath away with his little stunt.

Hiccup!

“Guess not…”

“Jesus… Don’t scare me like that without warning,” you whine, crossing your arms in an attempt to close yourself off just a little. It’s the only sort of rebuttal you can think of, but he doesn’t seem to be affected when he leans even closer.

“You know what would work even better?”

You don’t like the sound of his voice — a low, hum, almost melodious but carrying a dangerous and teasing tone.

“W-what?”

He doesn’t give you a response. Not a verbal one, anyway. His soft lips — is that your vanilla chapstick? — meet yours in an even softer kiss, his tongue painting a teasing line across your bottom lips as if to leave his signature there. And like a moth to the flame, you give in a bit too easily, letting the warmth spread through you as if you were drinking hot cocoa. Only this is much sweeter and has a hint of something sinful mixed in with every movement of his lips and every tempting push of his tongue on yours. Remembering how the innocent kiss got so lustful is at the back of your mind, but it’s at the forefront of his. It’s driving him to lean in even a little bit more, his large hand delicately cupping your jaw as if you pull you deeper into him and deeper into the emotions sprouting with each second.

Your own hands loosely grip his shirt, and even though it does nothing to hold him closer, it keeps him just a breath away once the two of you part.

But a breath is the last thing you have after that.

With his forehead resting against yours, Oikawa peers deeply into the cloudy windows of your soul, proud that it’s his doing.

“Did it work, Y/N-chan?”

You fake a hiccup.

“No,” you whisper, “let’s try again.”

{ hq sfw taglist — tell me if you want to be added or taken off: @yamxgucci @emrystld @tomatokuen @skyguy-peach @aplexii @for-ests @tobiosbabie @xiorrawrites @miyuswriting @hq-cuties @keuromi @noya-senpai-imagines @leiasfanaccount648 @marshyrebelcloud @iwaizumi-chan @shinsukestan @janellion @kkoalaworld @sushij1ma @letmeshouyou @tomo-uwu @kenmaksuwu }

{ oikawa sfw taglist — tell me if you want to be added or taken off: @for-ests @emrystld @theshirleygamer }

[leonawriter]

On Writing Fankids

Writing this because I now have two different fankids for the same pairing, in vastly different ways, and they’re very different people. So.

I don’t know how many points I’m going to make, and I don’t know how useful this is going to be, since Disclaimer: I’m not an expert on real children or medical practices, but I am trying to put effort in.

Most of this is composed of questions, because I don’t know who your fankid (or, OC-fankid) is, and the point is to make you think rather than just put ideas into your head by telling you what’s right and what’s wrong.

1 - How did they come to exist?

This is the FIRST question you should be asking when coming up with a fankid. What they look like and how cute they are is all well and good, but when you’re thinking of actually writing a story, that won’t help you.

If the parents are a cis male and cis female couple, then it’s easy to assume how they had a kid. That said, that’s not always necessarily the case, as some people may be infertile, or may simply choose to adopt. However, the answer to this becomes more complicated when fans get to wanting to give a gay couple children, as this usually means they want to give them biological children.

In the event of pairings where the parents are canonically not reproductively compatible (which includes gay, lesbian, nonbinary, and so on) there are still options, which include: a trans parent, which involves being able to write a trans person and not just overlooking how this would change their story; surrogacy, in which someone else carries the child to term for those who can’t, and the related idea of a sperm donor. 

In going into other biological options, there’s also the question of “how believable and realistic do you want this to be? how scientific? how much fantasy or sci-fi do you want here?” and if the answer is “I have fantasy and/or sci-fi in my setting” then you can use that.

That said, please don’t rule out the possibility of adoption. Adoption is the most common way for queer parents in the real world to get kids, and just because a kid isn’t biological doesn’t make them any less their parent’s child. Even/especially in a fantasy setting! And knowing if a kid was adopted, that’ll extend into how they see themself, as well as who the parent is and why they chose to adopt.

Related to that, if a kid is adopted, how aware of that are they? How were they adopted? Are they a canon character that was adopted, or an entirely new character? If they were too young to remember the adoption, how do their parents (or parent, if there was only one person adopting them) explain? If they were old enough, how do they see the person who took them in? How do they see their adopted siblings, if any exist, or any future siblings? What about any prospective additional parents, if they originally only had one, or if their parent/s is/are polyamorous? 

2 - How good are their parents at parenting?

Yes, you want your favourite pairing to be great parents, but no matter what people are going to have their own idiosyncrasies. How do the parents deal when the kid throws a tantrum? 

What if the child shows signs of being neurodivergent, are the parents any good at spotting those signs, and whether they are or not, how do they handle the difference from what they might have been expecting?

My advice here is to pay attention to the pairing in their normal canon and how they deal with situations and also how they handle children in canon, as well as then going to further sources that show what parenting is really like. Your fankid is going to be a baby, they’re going to be a screaming toddler, they’re going to have a personality and wants and they’re going to frustrate their parents a lot. If you want to put the effort in to write the family well, ask someone you know who has kids, even.

3 - What are their circumstances during their childhood?

The fun one about this is that depending on the context the child was created in, the answer can be different for children of the same pairing! 

In my case, I have Satoko and Fumiya. Satoko’s childhood (outside of her parents’ control) was traumatising, and left her as a quiet kid, despite how much she’s shown love later on. Fumiya, on the other hand, grows up in a loving environment from the start, and because of that he’s much more comfortable and confident, despite everything else that happens and so on.

This is where the child starts to develop their own personality. Think about how in the real world, children are shaped by their surroundings and the way that they grow up. Does your fankid learn that they can trust the people around them? How much attention are they given? Is that attention positive, negative, stifling? Do they feel neglected, or coddled? How easy is it for them to find food, or their favourite food? Are they surrounded by children of their own age, or mostly living around adults? Is their living situation, no matter whether their parents love them and take care of them or not, a dangerous one, and how aware of that are they?

Also important is the question of whether they even have both of their parents, or either of them. Maybe the situation here is complicated. Maybe they’re an orphan (sorry, parent pairing). Maybe they’re separated from their family, and they have to fend for themself. Maybe their parents are separated for any given reason. 

Any one of these things is also going to affect their mindset while growing up from being a baby through being a toddler, a pre-teen, and a teenager. If you want them to feel like a fully rounded out person, you have to think of them as such.

4 - What do they look like?

I’m well aware that this is the first thing that most people go with when creating fankids. I’m just saying that it’s not the most important thing you should be thinking of. 

Making a fankid shouldn’t be a mix-and-match game when you’re making biological kids. When you’re coming up with an adopted kid even less so. They aren’t a paper doll. Some children may look like a mix between their parents, while others will take on attributes from previous generations... although when looking at fictional characters you don’t own the IP of, assuming what genes a fankid’s grandparent might have passed on gets tricky. For this I’m focusing mostly on biological kids, but it should help for adopted as well in some parts.

One good rule of thumb here is to look at how genes actually work.

If nothing else, a simple starting idea would be to look at the general population and say “what is the most common eye colour here” and “what is the most common hair colour” and if your fankid is from that area, that’s probably the most dominant gene, over others.

When creating my own fankids mentioned above, my idea went that blue is an eye colour that tends to be dominant, and red hair tends to come through even just by making dark hair lighter. 

That said, hair and eye colour aren’t all you should be thinking about!

Other things that should be thinking about are: how tall are they? what shape are their eyes? Does the structure of their face take more after one parent than the other, no matter their eye/hair colour? Do they have any markings on their body (moles, birthmarks, etc), and if so are they shared with other family members? Are their features they share with family members who aren’t their parents (i.e, a sister, an uncle, a great-grandparent)? 

As they grow up, do they get taller or stay shorter than their parents? In terms of their body, do they become muscular, or not, and if so, why? Do they become fat, or thin? 

Does their health impact on the way that their body looks? This can mean both disability in terms of walking around with a cane, using a wheelchair, or any number of other things.

Do they change their body in any way? Do they choose to add tattoos, or is something done to them in some other way? Do they have any scars? Would they want to share those scars with other people, or would they choose to hide them away?

5 - How canon affects them, and how they affect canon.

Whether or not your fankid grows up before, during, or after canon events makes a difference. If it’s “before/during” then you’re going to have to think of the consequences of that on both them and their parents, but also everyone else. This isn’t just “add in a kid, aren’t they cute” this is an entire new character, with the capability to become a loose cannon and change canon events.

Things can change. That’s something you’ve got to think about, and accept, the moment you want to add this new character into things. Are you willing to change things, and if so, how far?

The kinds of changes can generally be divided into two categories: internal, and external.

Internal changes are the ways that the characters change mentally and emotionally in response to a child (their child, even) being present. In one of my stories, I change very little on an external level, but the focus is on the internal side of things, as the father of this child faces the idea that he might have lost his son, and how that makes him feel when going into a dangerous situation he may not come back from. Other characters might not see any difference, but the internal conflict is there.

External changes are the big ones, where the child being present - and, by extension, the child’s backstory and its knock-on effects - affect the present, and cause things to change in visible ways. This can mean anything from “the pairing’s child has wandered into a dangerous area filled with plot, and needs to be rescued” to “the plot has found the child” or even just “the parents have relationship issues to sort out, and that changes the plot.”

Things to think of here are - aside from “how old is this kid” as you might have come up with a kid that by this point is an adult as far as I know - how active is this kid? Are they happy to stay put and not affect things, or dot hey have insatiable curiosity and the need to do something? Do they stumble into the plot without being aware of it, do they go seek it out, or does it find them? How much danger does this put them in? If it does put them in danger, how do they deal with that, and how do their parents (or single parent) deal with that? If no danger at all, do they have fun, or are they stressed?

6 - Interactions with the rest of the cast.

Honestly, my main point here is, not everyone is going to react to a kid the same way. Just because they’re cute doesn’t mean everyone’s going to like them! And no, that doesn’t mean they’re evil. And sometimes, even the “evil” characters might handle kids better than some “good” characters. In fact, some “good” characters might do so badly with kids that they make them cry, and that doesn’t make them any less “good.” It just makes them bad at handling kids.

Otherwise, how does the kid fare with the other members of the cast, in general and specifically?

Is there anyone that they like in particular? If so, why? Did that person look nice, did they give them their favourite food? Did they do something special? What did they do to become friends?

Likewise, is there anyone they dislike in particular? What did they do to deserve that? Were they mean on purpose, or did they become disliked by means of an accident or miscommunication? Is it that this person raises their voice and the kid doesn’t like raised voices, or they don’t talk loudly enough?

Depending on the situation with the child’s parents, they might prefer people who are positive toward their parents, or who are negative toward their parents. Because let’s not forget those who don’t like being compared, and those who have parents who aren’t any good. For instance, is the child’s parent a villain in their setting? Are they thought of as a villain? Are they a criminal, or on the side of the law, and regardless of which that is, does the child agree with them, and how does that affect their relationships with others who agree or disagree with that parent?

If your fankid, for example, was mistreated by a certain set of people when they were younger, then how does that relate to later on in life, or the canon cast? My Satoko’s backstory involves medical abuse, which makes her wary of doctors scientists, and things that would remind her (even subconsciously) of that setting. Two of the characters in the cast are medically trained. Her interactions with them are going to be affected by that, even if she grows to like and trust them.

In conclusion: a fan kid can be a fun five minute thing, but if you only put five minutes’ thought into their design, their backstory, and their personality, then you’re only going to get the same view of them as a sketch compared to the time it takes to fully line and colour a work of art. 

If you want to write them, or create a full comic with them, you have to ask yourself questions about who they are, and also who you want them to be. If you want them to be a fully rounded person, then you have to put the time into it. And, really, that if this kid starts acting in ways you don’t expect, but that work, just... listen to that.

[cheri-translates]

[CN] Kiro’s Colourful Date (Eng Translation)

🍒 Warning: This post contains detailed spoilers for a date which has not been released in English servers! 🍒

Disney Dates Collection: Gavin // Lucien // Victor

The date begins with MC on the beach in a foreign country for work purposes

It’s her third day here, while Kiro has been here for two weeks to produce his new album

As the sun sets on the beach, MC suddenly recalls what happened on this exact same beach and starts spluttering her soul out 

(Note: She’s referring to the Prayer Date where it’s implied they did the deed) 

Kiro suddenly appears:

Kiro: MC, are you okay?!

MC asks what Kiro is doing on the beach

Kiro: Because our hearts are linked as one!

Kiro blinks, turning to the side to block the view of curious onlookers. 

Kiro: I’m just kidding. I already knew you’d be here. I also know that you really wanted to see me, but didn’t want to disturb me. 

Kiro’s tender voice mixes along with the sea breeze, brushing across my ear gently. He takes a step forward, closing the distance between us even more. 

Kiro: [sighs] I had no choice but to end my recording quickly to look for you. Since I’m so considerate, aren’t you going to give me a hug?

He opens his arms wide and hugs me even before I can lift my hands. 

At this moment, the warmth I haven’t felt in a long time encases me tightly.

~

During the weekend, MC waits for Kiro at the amusement park

Kiro sends her a message: "Miss Chips, there’s a problem. Go to the small street at the right side of the entrance quickly!”

MC heads over

Kiro: Sorry I’m late. Huff... Miss Chips, you must have been waiting long.

Kiro leans against the railing. He pulls down his face mask and speaks a little breathlessly. 

A bead of sweat rolls down his temple and onto his face. He looks as though he had just been running. 

Even then, the smile he exhibits is even more dazzling than the summer sunlight.

He offers his hand to me, eyes filled with colours of anticipation. 

Kiro: Miss Chips, hurry, it’s time to go in!

Kiro explains that a bunch of reporters have been following him ever since he left the hotel

MC suggests that they leave, but Kiro refuses. He’s determined to have an enjoyable day with MC, and at the same time not have any photographs taken of him

They can’t shake the reporters off, so Kiro suggests they find some place to hide. They head to a small corner behind a shop

He removes his Donald Duck backpack and retrieves headbands and pair of sunflower-shaped cartoon sunglasses...

He helps put the Minnie Mouse headband on MC’s head

Kiro: This suits you very well - even cuter than I imagined!

After saying this, he puts on a Mickey Mouse headband, then wears the sunglasses. 

Kiro: This way, no one will be able to recognise us, right?

MC: Mm, I can barely recognise myself. 

I look at my reflection in the glass - the exaggeratedly large sunglasses have covered half of my face, yet it comes across as normal in the amusement park.

Kiro: We’ll look like normal visitors! 

Kiro leans over so our reflections are in the same window. He even does a V pose with his fingers, making me laugh involuntarily.

MC: Stop flaunting your good looks, let’s go out.

Kiro: Eh, we should take a selfie first!

The reporters suddenly appear, but they enter the shop without recognising Kiro

MC asks if they should return to the amusement park another day instead so they wouldn’t have to face the wrath of Savin if Kiro’s photos do get taken

Kiro reassures her that everything will be OK!

Kiro: Whatever I promise you, I’ll definitely do it. The only thing you have to do today is enjoy the amusement park vacation together with me!

Perhaps feeling that this isn’t enough, he walks to a staff member and purchases a double-layered heart-shaped balloon.

Kiro: I see many other girls having this too. 

As he says this, he lowers his head to fasten the string of the balloon to my wrist. 

Kiro: This is even more perfect!

Just as they decide to head to an attraction, the reporters spot Kiro from afar and shout his name. This attracts the attention of the visitors.

Tourist: 

Kiro: Don’t panic.

I hear Kiro’s calm and steady voice in my ear, calming my frenzy.

Kiro: We’ll pretend not to hear it, and walk over there. 

MC: W-we can do that?

Kiro: Trust me, they aren’t certain that it’s me.

They walk through the crowd... then break out into a RUN until they lose the reporters by entering an attraction

MC leaves her balloon with the staff, then realises they’re queuing for an intense roller-coaster. Her legs start wobbling :’D

MC: ...I didn’t expect it to be a roller-coaster.

After strapping on the safety belt, I swallow nervously and turn my head to look at Kiro, who is sitting next to me. 

Kiro doesn’t seem to hear me. His gaze is fixed on the track in front of us, his smile frozen in place. 

MC: Kiro? 

Only when I tug at his sleeve in confusion does Kiro turn his head stiffly. 

Kiro: What. Is. Wrong. Miss Chips?

His gaze is a little blank. When he talks, he sounds like a robot, saying one word at a time. 

MC: Should we...

At this moment, the attraction’s countdown resounds. Both our faces twitch.

In the next second, the shrill screaming starts. 

MC: Ahhh!

~

I drag my jelly-like legs and walk towards the exit. My desperate yelling from before makes my brain feel as though it lacks air.

MC: I can’t do it anymore...

Kiro: Miss Chips, the roller-coaster was really interesting!

In contrast to me, Kiro, despite his initial nervousness, looks radiant now.

MC remembers how they were chased by reporters earlier and voices her concerns

Kiro hints that he sought help from the a staff member i.e. disguising him as Kiro and leading the reporters away

They take a break and Kiro notices that MC doesn't look too well after the roller-coaster ride, so he buys ice-cream for the both of them

Kiro: Do you feel much better now?

Looking at Kiro’s sparkling eyes, as though waiting for a compliment, I smile and nod. 

MC: As long as I have desserts and you, it feels like all my tiredness has been completely swept away. 

Kiro: [laughs] I’m different! As long as you’re here, I’ll always be full of enthusiasm.

I see a tiny me reflected in his eyes. Under the sunlight, they look like gentle ripples on the surface of a lake. 

A small squirrel suddenly appears from a tree and watches them curiously

Kiro: Hello there, little cutie.

Pleasantly surprised, Kiro bends down, greeting the squirrel with a wave.

The squirrel tilts its head, not running off. Kiro’s eyes sparkle and he takes slow steps towards it.

The squirrel hurriedly scampers away by several steps. 

Kiro: Why does it ignore me? 

As though feeling wronged, Kiro mutters to himself. He lowers his voice and mumbles something in the direction of the squirrel. 

I can’t hear what he’s saying. The squirrel, which as been looking left and right so far, suddenly scampers back to where we are. It runs in circles around Kiro, looking very happy. 

MC: How did you do that? It’s magical...

Surprised, I take a few steps towards Kiro. As though afraid Kiro would leave, the squirrel also scampers closer to him. 

Once Kiro stops, the squirrel once again happily hops around in circles around him.

Kiro: It’s not over yet. 

Looking at my wide eyes, Kiro smiles mysteriously. 

At this moment, another two squirrels appear from the tree. One of them even climbs onto his arm, as though plotting to get the ice-cream.  

Kiro: Ah, you can’t eat this!

Watching the squirrel’s movements, Kiro hurriedly finishes the ice-cream. 

Seeing the delicacy disappear, the squirrel starts chirping and gesturing with its short paws. This adorable display makes Kiro surrender instantly.

Kiro: [laughs] There’s nothing left now, but I’ll bring all of you something delicious next time! 

The squirrel nods, as though agreeing with his words.

At this moment, I feel as though I’ve fallen into a fairytale. 

Noticing my exaggerated expression, Kiro looks at the small furry animals, then pinches his earlobe unconsciously.

Kiro: Hmm, I seem to have played too much... 

Kiro holds the squirrel up, rubbing its head gently. 

Kiro: Go back quickly. 

As though they can really understand his words, the squirrels rub Kiro’s palm before disappearing in the direction they came from.

MC: So you’re not only popular among humans - even animals like you so much.

Kiro: After all, I’m Kiro!

A smirk suddenly appears on his lips. Seeing that I don’t have time to react, he leans over, lowers his head, and takes a bite of the ice-cream in my hand. 

Kiro: The strawberry flavour is so sweet!

With the tip of his tongue, he licks his lips contentedly, but there are still traces left at the corner of his mouth. 

MC: Didn’t you just have a chocolate ice-cream? Also...

I’ve eaten this one... 

Thinking about this, my face starts flushing. 

Kiro: Miss Chips, look up!

I subconsciously lift my head. With a tightening sensation on my shoulder, the distance between us is closed by Kiro. 

The sunlight, surface of the water, the sky, the roller-coaster in the distance... and the both of us leaning against each other. 

Two smiling faces look towards the camera, a similar happiness dancing in our eyes. 

With a “kacha”, this moment is frozen forever.

Kiro: This photo is amazing!

Satisfied, Kiro sets the selfie as his wallpaper, then waves it in front of me. 

I see two people in the photograph leaning against each other intimately underneath the sunlight. It makes my face flush red. 

Kiro: But this isn’t enough. I also want freeze this moment in my memory forever!

I look towards his handsome side profile, and an insuppressible smile appears on my lips.

Right now, I suddenly feel like Kiro is really someone who knows magic. He has the magic to always make me happy. 

Kiro looks towards the park exit, then offers his hand to me.

Kiro: Since we’ve had sufficient rest, shall we leave? 

I place my palm in his hand. After a slight hesitation, I muster my courage and ask, slightly nervous. 

MC: Shall we... take the roller-coaster one more time? 

Kiro’s eyes widen in astonishment, then he laughs, revealing a smile that’s even more brilliant than sunlight. 

Kiro: So that you wouldn’t feel afraid, I’ll keep holding onto your hand this time! Quick, let’s go!

[phoenixpinks]

Things Team Lazarus said during EoD starters

"When all else fails, Lex Luthor intends to kill Superman with Death." "HOLY BAT, BATMAN!" "WAIT SO WAIT WHAT???" "We're not in any danger! We're just nerds solving riddles on the internet!" "I ain't dressing up every night to find someone to punch" "I don't need to dress up every night to find someone to punch" "my son won't respond to my texts about wearing a bullet proof best, he is so grounded" "HELLO NAUGHTY CHILDREN IT'S TIME FOR FEAR" "NO FORTS. ONLY JUSTICE." "we're conventing court in the fort" "We pun to forget tears though" "Im gonna release all of these come the end of this, nothing is sacred" "he faked his death to get away from us" "but, it's all in good pun" "This is our life now" "you could have fit a meme in there" "oh god it is going to be a time thing" "yes how dare you say a meme I don't know, or whatever that is" "it only hurts if you let it hurt" "lies, I almost cried last night I will have none of your nonsense" "i am of a sensitive disposition. everything hurts" "Worse than my solving my problems with ___ and cocaine idea?" "you don't mix ANYTHING with cocaine, instant death" "Can I mix water with cocaine" "I may not have a coffee problem but I am surrouned by 5 different types of soda cans rn" "the soccer van, but for super villains" "we can alwats tie some people to the top of the car with bungee cords" "free test subject right here" "Ya'll gnna get yourselves killed" "My guy I'm lowekey terrified 24/7." "you're always screaming" "ARE YOU SURE ABOUT THAT" "I'M NOT SURE ABOUT ANYTHING" "you do not need to focus on that" "bye whoever’s leaving, I can't keep track of all of you" "you're attractive and love crime, I'm attractive and love crime. Let's be attractive and commit crimes together." "Dr we will never send puns again if you promise to stop getting into death traps" "I only said it was nice to see him again with the living. I may not sound it, but I'm absolutely ecstatic" "wow I mean he's probably not the best at running" "Kick him in the knees" "Hes DIED, He'll be fine" "I COME HOME TO PAIN!!!!" "fuck you ____ you suck at taking care of yourself" "Yes now shut up and sleep in a bed tonight instead of a ditch" "Being unconscious does not count as sleep" "IT'S NOT THE PUNISHMENT YOU DESERVE, BUT IT'S THE PUNISHMENT YOU NEED" 'We need justice for these puns" "Honestly anyone int he crowd might have snapped and shit him just to shut him up" "it was me guys" "you did the world a service fam" "YOU HAVE TAINTED HIM" "WELCOME TO THE DARK SIDE, ____" "Nnnnnng that hurt me" "i gtg, I want to finish this report before 3 A.M" "procrastination at its finest" "get in losers we're going spooping" "Why have we formed a cult" "This was not what i expected when i first asked to join the skype group" "All groups of friends make cults at some point" "would it be irresponsible of me to send a message saying 'run bitch run'? "WHEN I TOLD HIM TO KICK ASS AND TAKE NAMES THIS ISN'T WHAT I MEANT" "I GO ON WARCRAFT FOR TEN FUCKING MINUTES AND IT ALL GOES TO SHIT" "I instinctively covered my ears at the gunshots but then I remembered I was wearing headphones" *does the 'I'm so smart' dance "Mother always told me I was special" "I hope we're blowing this way out of proportion but at the same time this would be a hilarious plot twist" "WHOO BOY SCREENSHOT" "He's moved from senpai to fam" "He's probably lughing in his cellar" "dial dow the thirst there my dude lmao, ily thou" "I for one always overreact" "I never overreact. WHY. ARE YOU TRYING TO IMPLY SOMETHING" "___ ARE YOU ON HELIUM???" "I COME BACK AND WHAT DO I FIND" "WHY CAN'T THE RIDDLES LEAD SOMEWHERE SAFE!?! LIKW I DON'T KNOW! A DUCK POND OR I DON'T KNOW!!" "because my mind went from 'do we know any duck themed villains' to that weird French duck from courage the cowardly dog" "SHE'S HATING ON MY BOI JULIUS CAESAR" "it's been 2060 years __ im" "knife to meet your boi julius caesar" "Ok i'll hit you up next year when it's 2061" "YOU CAN HIT ME UP WHEN I'M DEAD FAM" "___ has nominated me as a Fish, or a frog, I don't even know" "if im bill the lizard youre gonna be a fish w me" "MAYBE I LIKE BEING DROP KICKED" "there is so much anger on that voice that is just covered layer of 'fuck this'" "Really? Legwork? Oh, this is grand." "give me your free time im dying in work" "it's a supervillainy way though" "I'm already dating a weeb and then I come here and WHAT DO I SEE" "I'm going to smack you all" "Everyone go stand in the corner" "I SHOULD HAVE KNOWN YOU HAD SOMETHING TO DO WITH THIS OH MY GOD" "I never had an anime phase I win" "everybody loves him but the sentiment is not reciprocated" "i will be ashamed for the rest of my life, but sure" "time to Google... aight Google isn't helping" "Tfw you kill ___, Reblog if you agree" "he looks like you should just start punching him and never stop" "when did we start being about ____'s butt" "We're allowed to be proud because it's obvious the guy is salty and not happy with our success." "I'M DISOWNING YOU ALL, EVEN HIM" "oh hey it's midnight" "you can't cheat the champion of cheating" "you cheated and I shall cheat harder" "I'd hope that I'd at least be captured by honorable idiots" "NO DUMBO RIDES. ONLY JUSTICE." "you and I are on separate wavelengths than" "OKAY STRICTLY UPDATE THEY ARE NOW PLAYING WAKE ME UP INSIDE WHATS HAPPENING" "don't meme shame me bro" "Your memes are stale, and you are stale" "lol what is romantic human interaction" "what is human interaction" "what is interaction" "What is human" "this is the worst thing I have ever created and I will burn for this" "I look at him directly and said fuck you" "I gotta go eat dinner y'all are fucking insane" "I WILL RUN EXPERIMENTS IN THE BASEMENT WHO'S WITH ME??" "Do you have any redeeming qualities" "c'mon skype lemme transer sewing via you...." "are you kidding, this is better than all the tv shows I'm behind on" "MURDER ROADTRIP" "Rosaceae are refuscent, Violas are cerulean, Cane crystals are saccharine, homogeneous to you" "WE ARE THE BEST GROUPIES" "shes not even here, she chickened out of the fight" "Tfw your brain is memes" "Twf yer also an adult" "Yup. Exactly Sad O'Clock" "So sad o'clock is midnight o fifty, got it"

[honeyvoicehwang]

Stupid

pairing: famous!jisung/non famous!minho, famous!jisung/famous!changbin

ship: minsung, changsung

genre: ANGST, sad, bitter

plot: jisung and minho broke up and minho isn’t over it yet.  based on the song Stupid by Brendan Maclean

word count: 4,964

warnings: implied/referenced alcohol abuse, lots of crying, insults, language

also posted on my ao3, InsecurelyPerfect (link in bio)

He slams the glass down on the wooden counter top.  The beat pumps through his ears.  It makes him shudder.  Coming here was a mistake, he thinks.  He knew what he would see, yet he still came, and he's never regretted it more.

It’s been five months since Han Jisung tore the heart out of Lee Minho and stomped on it in front of Jisung's friends, and Minho (apparently) still isn't over the breakup.  It has been the worst breakup he's ever experienced in his life.

"If you weren't so stupid, I could have loved you..."

Jisung didn't like to admit defeat.  It was one of the things that made Minho fall head over heels in love with the younger boy.  The way he got so into it when he played video games or how competitive he got when they were racing or biking or working out together.  He loved the way that Jisung got so into the music he was writing or producing or performing.  Hell, it was how he'd met the boy.

One of Minho's friends was good friends with some guy in an underground rap group called 3Sauce or something?  (Later he learned it was 3RACHA.)  He didn't really want to go, but he promised the friend he wouldn't make him go alone.

He wasn't really into any of the acts, but when Seungmin's friend's group got on the stage, Seungmin nearly ripped his arm off, screaming bloody murder about how that was his friend up there on the stage.

Minho rolled his eyes at first, it was just a rap group.  He didn't really see the appeal.

That was until the youngest of the three started jumping about, his eyes lit so brightly that Minho could see it from where he was standing fifteen feet away.  His light brown hair moving perfectly as he jumped and crouched, spitting raps faster than he'd ever heard (until he heard Changbin, but that was a different story), changing the flow every so often.

It was then that Minho knew he was fucked.

As soon as he wanted to learn his name, his personality, his favorite food, color, scent, he knew it was all over.  He practically had to grovel at Seungmin's feet to get him to take Minho backstage to meet them.  "I thought you said this was stupid?" he teased.  "I wonder what changed your mind."

It was all too obvious that he knew what changed Minho's mind and it was just an attempt to get him to admit it, but he wasn't sure that it would work.  No way it would.  And it didn't, but Seungmin did eventually agree to take him backstage.

Minho could barely contain his excitement when he saw the soft, doe-eyed boy staring at him and smiling while Seungmin talked to Chan and Changbin.

Jisung.  His name was Jisung.

"And if you weren't so stupid, but you're pretty stupid..."

Getting to know Jisung felt like it could have been an Olympic sport in and of itself.  He had so much energy and the ability to be really loud and it honestly kind of scared Minho a little bit.

But seeing Jisung hyper also meant that he was comfortable with Minho, and that was all he'd wanted.  The boy was so much more chaotic and a little stupider than he could have realized, but the way he rapped... he was just so passionate and that was what had drawn Minho in, to begin with.

He didn't mind putting up with Jisung's stupid questions or random thoughts at four in the morning when he couldn't focus on the rap he was trying to write at that given moment.

It all just made Jisung that much more endearing to Minho.

It was around then that he felt himself falling harder.

"And if you weren't so busy, I could have loved you..."

Minho had known it would be hard.  

Jisung was going on tour soon, after all.  He would be traveling, leaving Minho alone in Korea, different time zones, and performing.  He would be pouring all of his energy into the concerts and shows, he wouldn't always see Minho's texts.

Minho knew that.  He tried to reason with himself that it was what Jisung loved to do so he should be supportive, and he really wanted to be, but he couldn't help but feel the slightest bit upset when the texts got slower and slower.

It started with them texting all plane ride, to hours between poorly timed texts, to missed good night messages with a kissy face in the morning, to missed morning texts as well, to broken FaceTime promises, to not talking for two weeks.  Minho would be lying if he said it didn't crush his soul a little bit every time Jisung didn't even read one of his messages.  He tried to tell himself that Jisung was busy doing what he loved, but that didn't make it easier.

Especially since their relationship was so new.  They'd known each other for several months, and Jisung had asked Minho to be his boyfriend one drunken night during karaoke three weeks before he left for tour.

They'd talked about it the following morning.  After three hours of soft kisses and tears, they'd agree that they would both try their hardest and knew that it would be a strain.  In the end, Minho agreed, just to kiss his boyfriend once more before pulling him back down to cuddle.

It was hard to keep away the thoughts telling himself that if he'd just waited it would have been easier for both of them.  He couldn't do that.  It wasn't fair.  Not to Jisung, not to himself.

He felt like a jerk.

Minho threw his phone on his bed, rubbing his face with exhaustion.

"But you work in an office... and you've got other offers..."

His jealousy wasn't valid.  It was misplaced and he just missed Jisung.  He wanted to be the first person that Jisung had wanted to see when they got back, but the next day, he was already back in the studio, texting Minho videos of him and Changbin goofing off together.

He tried to push it away, but the sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach was persistent, refusing to give way, only showing that it was going to get worse.

having fun? he'd asked, hoping that he didn't sound too bitter through his text.

Jisung didn't respond until three hours later, which ended up just being a Snapchat that Chan had sent of Changbin pretending to ask Jisung out and the two of them doing some sort of star crossed lovers skit.

looks like fun...

No response.  The jealousy got worse.

Their relationship was so new, barely had its training wheels, yet it was already starting to fall apart, and there was nothing that Minho could do.  He had no right to feel the way he did.

Jisung had been friends with them for much longer than he'd known Minho.  He was allowed to joke around with his friends.

But Minho couldn't help but shake the feeling that it was a joke that wasn't entirely mutual.

"Tell me what is his name now, what is his name?"

His eyes slide over to the stage, where he can see Changbin spitting rap into Jisung's face, and though the rap sounds intense -- he wasn't listening to the lyrics -- Jisung had a stupid grin on his face, looking entirely unbothered.  

Minho groans, allowing his head to fall onto the countertop, trying to avoid the sticky puddle of alcohol next to him.  If he were, to be honest, he would admit that he feels just as stupid as the shit Jisung would text him when he missed him for not being more worried about Changbin when Jisung started pulling away.

He wonders why he didn't worry more, and if he had, would anything be different?  Or would he just have lost Jisung sooner?

He looks away, unable to think about Jisung smiling at Changbin how he used to smile at Minho.  

"I'm excited to hear the news.  Tell me what is his name now, but what does that say about you?"

All he can bring himself to do is to pretend.  Act like then when Seungmin drags him to Chan's house the following night that he's happy for Jisung and Changbin when they announce their relationship.

A jealous fire burns the lining of his stomach.  Where did I go wrong?

Despite everything that's happened, Minho still can't help but blame himself for everything that went wrong.  He knows deep down that it was a mix of the two of them, Jisung not putting in the effort and Minho's jealousy, but he still can't shake the guilt that he was mostly the reason they split.

Minho sips the beer Seungmin passed him fervently, barely giving anyone else a second look.  He focuses his gaze on a spot in the corner of the room, unable to do anything without getting irrationally angry.

The most he can do is half-ass a smile when anyone tries to get his attention and nod once before returning to his zombie-like state.

"But let's not be friends, or else this will never end..."

No matter how hard Minho tries not to think about that night, he still ends up curling against the extra pillow he never got rid of, pretending he was smelling Jisung's freshly shampooed hair, rather than a pillow he'd never bothered to wash.  It was a miracle that his tears hadn't washed the scent of his ex-boyfriend away yet.

Jisung stood in front of him, shoes pointed to where they were facing each other, something they never did unless he was nervous.  Minho wondered what could be bothering him so much.

There wasn't much that could ever get to Jisung, at least, not that he let show, but they'd been together for four years.  Whether he liked it or not, Minho knew all of Jisung's tells.

"Baby," Minho said quietly, reaching his hand out to run it down Jisung's arm lovingly.  "What's wrong?"

Jisung gulped, his Adam's apple bobbing, tears pooling in his eyes.  "Uh, I, um," he choked as a sob escaped his mouth, "I think - I think we should, uh, maybe take a break?"

That was the last thing that Minho had ever wanted to hear from the one person that he loved more than his childhood pets.  He felt his breath catch in his throat.  No, this can't be happening.  NO, NO, NO, I am not losing him, no, this is just a dream.

"M-Minho?"

Minho refocused his gaze on Jisung.  "W-what?"

Jisung pulled out of Minho's touch.  Minho felt his fingers grow cold.  "I don't--I don't know.  I just... need some time..."

"Was it..." Minho licked his lips, "was it something I did?"

Jisung's eyes widened.  "No, I just... everything's getting to be really hard for me and I just kind of need to take some time away from everything... in-including you," he mumbled.  He looked back up at Minho.  "We... we can still be friends?"

Minho smiles tight-lipped and tries not to cry.  He should have pushed Jisung's hand away, told him that he didn't want to, that he didn't think it would be a good idea.  

Instead, he extended his hand and quietly said, "sure."

"Let's not be friends.  For sure, for sure..."

Time was supposed to heal all wounds, right?  That was the saying?

For Minho, it seemed to be more that it was making everything worse.  Seeing Jisung slowly get closer and closer to Changbin from afar, while he wasn't allowed to hold his hand or press a gentle kiss on his cheek and remind everyone that he was Minho's.  Couldn't protect him or listen to his heartbeat to fall asleep anymore and it just about tore Minho in half.

That feeling never went away.  Six months later and he sees Jisung and Changbin sneaking kisses behind the stage, out of sight of everyone who doesn't know that you can see them from the right angle.

He shakes his head.  He's supposed to be supporting them.  He and Jisung are still friends, after all, he thinks mockingly.  Friends.  That word taunts him.  Puts up a barrier between him and the love of his life.  

He watches them exchange one more kiss before coming out and leaves the bar before any of them catch a glimpse of Minho in the audience.

"And if you weren't so ugly, I could have loved you.  It's something I tell myself when I'm down, to get high..."

Jisung had been the most beautiful person Minho had ever seen, he still is.  Now that he sees that smile lighting up his face every time he looks at Changbin, and Minho's heart leaps into his throat.

He tries telling himself that Jisung looks like a squirrel.  A dirty squirrel, one roaming through the streets that probably had, like, diseases or some shit.  Just... fucking anything that he could say to himself to not want to kiss Jisung's full cheeks.

But even that didn't work.  No matter how much he tried to think of Jisung as the vilest person he'd ever seen, he always ended up thinking Jisung looked like an angel, and, well, it's because he is one.

It only complicated things every other day.  

hey, it's been a while, his text read.  can we meet up?

Minho ponders what Jisung could possibly want to talk to him about, but he thinks of seeing Jisung again and quickly agrees.

The wind whips around him as he waits in the park for Jisung to show up.  As soon as his eyes land on the boy, he smiles instinctively.  He has to bite his tongue so he doesn't say "I love you."

The smile fades when he sees the serious look on Jisung's face.  He gulps, balling his fists to keep himself from hugging Jisung.  "What, uh, what did you want to talk to me about?"

Jisung shakes his head.  "Look, Min, I know that we had a pretty rough break up, but you need to move on.  I don't see it, but Changbin's told me that he's uncomfortable with how you're looking at me and wants you to stop."

It’s then that Minho looks over to the parking lot and sees Changbin sitting in the car, playing on his phone, looking up occasionally.  When the two of them make eye contact, Minho turns his attention back to Jisung.

"I see."  His voice is ice cold and rigid.  It's a tone he never used with Jisung.  Only the boys that would try to flirt with him after 3RACHA's sets.

He sees the shift in Jisung's eyes as the tone of voice sinks into his brain regurgitating memories he's kept buried for so long.

Then, something snaps inside of him, and the words come tumbling out in an angry rage before he has time to even think about what they are.  "You know, I'm not looking at you because I still love you, Sung.  Get over yourself.  I'm looking at you and wondering how I ever thought someone as ugly as you was beautiful."  He pants as the words finish, his chest heaving heavily and his heart aching.

Jisung's attention is immediately shifted towards the ground.  "I think we're done here," he says in a rush, turning away from Minho, but not before Minho watched a tear roll down Jisung's perfectly tanned cheek.

As he watches Jisung walk away, he can't move.  His body is frozen in place, but he wants nothing more than to chase after Jisung.

No, stop, I didn't mean it, I'm so sorry.

But he's stiff.  And Jisung walks back to the car with Changbin already starting the engine.  And they tear away, leaving Minho crumbling to the ground, wondering what the fuck just happened.

"If you'd made me a coffee, I could have loved you.  And I'd make you hot chocolate, and anything you could have wanted..."

Jisung was the best boyfriend Minho had ever had.  They got along so well and Jisung was always doing everything that he could for Minho, without him even asking.

That's why Minho firmly believes that it's his fault they didn't last.  He curls up against Jisung's pillow as the show he's watching plays indistinctively in the background.  The only light came from the screen of his laptop.  The couple in the show do everything for each other, no matter how small and Minho's mind wanders.

He thinks back to the time that Jisung asked him to grab a cup of coffee for him on his way to the studio.  Minho had meant to, he really had, but he had gotten too distracted, thinking about giving Jisung the biggest hug that he forgot to stop by the coffee shop.

He tries to pinpoint the moment that things started to go wrong.  If he can tell when Jisung started pulling back and stopped texting him so much.  He tries to imagine the scenario where he does bring Jisung the coffee and he sees Jisung's eyes light up as he regains the energy he lost from traveling.

He wishes he could turn back the clock and just get that fucking coffee for Jisung.  He wants to do anything he can.  Everything he never did.  Everything he never got the chance to do, and now never will.

He curls into the pillow more, hugging it tighter as tears begin to flow down his cheeks, blurring his vision and soaking the pillow.

Minho stops crying almost abruptly as it had started and sits up.  He looks around the room briefly before going to get a glass of soju.  He needs it.  Something.  Anything to take his mind off of the mind-numbing what-if scenarios and all the things he would have done differently if he could.  He can't change anything now, so what was the point in thinking about it?

“Tell me who is invited, so fuckin’ delighted to see all the boys you see…”

At the same time that Minho wishes he would stop getting Chan’s invites to hang out after 3RACHA’s sets, he knows that if they really stopped coming, he would have a mental breakdown.  

He arrives, already dreading being around the couple.  He looks around for anyone that he can take into another room and make out with for a bit.  Woojin, Chan, Hyunjin, Felix, Seungmin, Jeongin.  No, no, no, no. no, no.  He doesn’t know any of them aside from Chan and Seungmin well.  Just that Chan hangs out with everyone there as often as he can, meaning Jisung also saw them a lot, too.

He wonders why, why out of all of the people knew, why it had to be Changbin.

Minho grabs a second beer, which quickly becomes a third, fourth, fifth.  Soon enough Seungmin has Minho flung over his shoulder, shouting an apology to everyone and places Minho in the passengers' seat, grumbling about how he needs to stop coming if he’s just going to get blackout drunk, knowing Minho won’t remember his lecture in the morning.

Minho wakes up the next morning to a post-it note on his bedside table.

Stop coming, you know you don’t want to see them together.

Asprin’s in the kitchen.

x - seungmin

“Tell me why I don’t fight it, what does that say about me?”

Minho wakes up the following morning to weight at the edge of his bed.  He lifts his head slightly.  Seungmin.

Seungmin is sitting on Minho’s bed, running his hands through Minho’s hair.  

“Min, what are you doing?”  Minho’s voice is loud and gravelly as he pushes his throat against his pillow.  He tries to twist his body to get a better glimpse of Seungmin, but the way Seungmin’s sitting made it difficult for him to do so.

Seungmin continues running his hand through Minho’s hair.  “Hyung, I know that you and Jisung hyung had a pretty rough break up, but you need to do what's best for you.”

Minho tries to twist again.  Seungmin sits up a little more so that Minho could actually turn around.  When Minho is situated and comfortable again, Seungmin goes back to stroking his hair.  “I don’t know what you mean, I am doing what’s best for me.”

Seungmin shakes his head.  “No, hyung, you’re not.  If you really were, you would have stopped talking to Jisung hyung back when you knew that it was still hurting you.  I can see that you seeing him with Changbin hyung hurts you.  So, please, just do what’s best for you.”

Seungmin’s words ring through Minho’s entire body, stirring an emotion that Minho can’t quite distinguish within his mind.  All he really knows is that he’s left with a strong desire to text Jisung.

“And let’s not be friends, otherwise this’ll never end…”

jisung, please.  we need to talk about this.

Minho slams his phone on the counter, shattering the screen.  He curses himself.

His feet start moving before he knows what he’s really doing.  His body moves without control, almost as if it was on autopilot, and had done this hundreds of times before.

He stops in front of the all too familiar white cabinets.  He knows what’s behind them even before the scent reaches his nose.  It’s pungent, too hard to ignore, to pretend.  Minho doesn’t try to stop himself even after the cabinet door is open and he’s faced with sticky glass necks and fallen bottles and begins sipping from the bottle, not even bothering to get a glass to drink from.

It burned as it slipped down his throat.

“Let’s not be friends, for sure, for sure…”

minho... i dont think this is such a good idea…

Minho feels his breath catch in his throat.  His eyes burn.  He doesn’t even know what time it is and he can’t be bothered to look up and figure it out.

He knows it’s way past midnight, and why Jisung would be texting him this late, he doesn’t even want to think about it.  What Jisung got done doing, what he was thinking about.  It’s too much for Minho to handle.  

He pulls his knees to his chest, trying to calm the buzzing in his head, the alcohol finally kicking in.  This couldn’t have been a worse time for this to happen.

Minho isn’t exactly known for making the best decisions while drunk and certainly has a habit of texting the wrong people; Jisung being one of them.

He chokes back a sob as his vision blurs over and his shaking fingers hover over the keys.

yeah, youre right, my bad.

sorry to have bothered you.  have a good night.

“We’d adopt… we’d adopt…”

If Minho really thinks about it, he can see the probability of Jisung and him getting married was pretty low, but it didn’t stop Minho from imagining the two of them living together and adopting some pets.

It was something Jisung always used to talk about with such a fondness in his voice, lights sparkling in his eyes, his entire demeanor changing with just a few words.  According to him, Jisung had never gotten the chance to grow up with pets around, but he’d always wanted a dog.

Minho was a cat person and had three back at home with his parents, but he figured that he could make that sacrifice for the guy he was kinda falling in love with.

If it meant that he would get to see Jisung’s smile that took up his entire face and showed off all of his teeth, then Minho would give anything to see that.

That night, he had started looking at adoption agencies that had rescues.

“I’d have all the things he’s got, but I’m not.  So let’s stop.  Pretend that there’ll be a happy end…”

It has been ten months since Minho received the worst text he’d ever gotten.

Since then, he’s stopped going to Chan’s after-parties, however, he still can’t seem to stop himself from going to the bars where they perform.  He watched Jisung and Changbin get close.  He sees how they kiss when they think no one can see them because he knows where to look.

At this point, Seungmin’s hand on Minho’s shoulder has become somewhat of a coping mechanism for him.  It was comforting for Minho to know that his friend is always right there beside him as he lets it all go.

“You know you shouldn’t be here,” he says, his voice non-confrontational.  He never is.

It’s too much to know that Jisung has moved on, leaving Minho alone, on read, and defending his broken heart.

Minho bites his tongue and knocks another glass of vodka back, tears brimming his eyes as his mind goes fuzzy.

“Let’s not be friends, for sure (for sure)...”

It’s about two months after the last bar incident that Chan sends another invite to Minho.  This time, it’s worded differently.  Like there’ll be more than just the usual nine of them.  Maybe it’ll give Minho more of a way to avoid Jisung?

He toys with his bottom lip between his teeth, sliding his hands over the paper invitation gently, almost as though it could explode if he touched it wrong.  He can’t help but take a second and chuckle to himself.  Chan was always so formal, sending out paper in a time of technology where texts are almost faster than light.

He reads the invitation carefully.  Eyes sliding over every letter with intent, not wanting to misunderstand anything or read too deep, even though he knows that’s already what he was doing.

House warming.  Eight pm.  Bring food.  A new address.

That definitely seems like he’ll be able to avoid Jisung.  Minho’s finally been doing well and starting to move on for himself.

“We’d adopt, we’d have dogs…”

“Just-- keep your eyes closed.  I promise you won’t regret it, okay?” Minho laughed, shoving the blindfold into Jisung’s hands.  The car was cold, yet warming up, but it would go a whole lot faster if Jisung would just listen to him.

“And how do I know that you aren’t going to kidnap me or bring me to a secondary location?” the younger retorted.

Minho rolled his eyes, “You’ve been watching way too much John Mulaney lately.  I swear, I’m going to kill Chan for insisting you improve your English.  Now you’re just going to talk to me in John Mulaney quotes and I’m not going to understand anything.”

“Honestly, that kind of seems like a you problem, Hyung,” Jisung said, his signature heart smile plastered all over his face and even Minho’s mind.  Minho lightly shoved his shoulder and Jisung finally obliged, putting the blindfold on sloppily.  “You really aren’t going to tell me where we’re going are you?”

“Nope,” Minho said, putting the car in gear.

“You’re annoying.”

Minho just hummed, turning the music louder, attempting to cover the sounds of the tires on the gravel road to the rescue shelter.  When he finally put the car in park, he turned toward Jisung, who was sat beside him, clueless as ever.

“Okay, you can take the blindfold off now.”

He watched with intent as the blindfold slipped off of Jisung’s eyes and how his face lit up and he couldn’t sit still, bursting when he realized where they were.

“Oh, my God!  Are you serious?”  Jisung whipped around to face Minho, eyes searching for a hint of a bluff in his boyfriend’s face.  To his surprise, there was none.

Minho reached for his smaller hand.  “I mean, we live together and you’ve been talking about it forever, I don’t see why we shouldn’t.  But I didn’t want to just do it without you, so I figured I’d bring you along and you get to choose the dog you connect with the most.”

Jisung flung himself into Minho’s arms, latching his arms around Minho’s neck, pressing furious kisses wherever he could reach.  “Lee Minho, you are the best boyfriend anyone could ever ask for.”

“I’d have all the things he’s got, but I’m not.”

Minho squeezes the soju glass in his hand, nearly hard enough to smash, riddled with anxiety and panic as his eyes frantically scan the yard for Chan’s other two members.

He promised Seungmin, Hyunjin, and Chan that he’d be good and not intentionally get into any trouble, and he plans on abiding by that.  He wants the Jisung chapter of his life to finally close, be over with, something he can think of fondly and not remember the sleepless nights, drunk nights, or sad nights.

And.. maybe... Just maybe if he can prove to Jisung that he’s worth it, they can have another go at them together?

He can show Jisung that he has everything Changbin has and so much more.  That he can do everything that Changbin can do, so why not be with Minho?

He is just about to get up from his spot against the fence and find Jisung, soju in hand, when Jisung walks out of the house, laughing at something.

Speak of the devil, he thinks, almost bitterly.  Now’s my chance, when Changbin isn’t around.  Except, he spoke too soon because immediately following Jisung is Changbin.  

They’re holding hands and Minho is close enough to catch a glimpse of something shiny on Jisung’s hand.

I’ve got everything he has… except for you…

Minho sets his drink on the nearest table and ducks behind some people he’s never seen before, making a quick exit without saying goodbye to anyone.

He’s just about to leave when he turns around and sees Changbin pulling Jisung in for a passionate kiss.

Minho turns away, a tear rolling down his cheek, and not looking back as he walks away from Chan’s house.

[nnt-nextgeneration]

A gift for @okamideimos as part of the @creators-anonymous exchange. Here’s your Storm and my Astrid. The prompt was bonfires. Thank you for your friendship! - Galfridus1

Cheers rang out, so loud they could be heard even over the bangs and whistles emanating from the sky. Storm looked up, his face stinging with cold as he watched patterned lights exploding in the dark in a wide array of greens and reds: Camelot’s colours carefully chosen for the occasion and choreographed to perfection. It was all very flashy and the humans around him were oohing and aahing in the appropriate places, their joyous faces shining in the light of the fire.

Not that anyone was allowed to get close to it of course. Storm pouted a little as he regarded the bonfire that blazed in the middle of the field, surrounded by a wide cordon so no one could approach. “You children cannot be trusted to keep yourselves safe,” Merlin had said with a scowl when he complained. “Besides, why do you need to go near it anyway?” Storm had looked up at his mother innocently and said, “No reason,” then wandered quickly away before she could ask him more questions. He had felt Merlin’s eyes following him but, thankfully, Arthur had gone to see her about something or other and she had needed to give the king her full attention.

But Storm still faced a dilemma. The firework he has built all by himself was practically burning a hole in his pocket and all he wanted to do was set it off. He had watched as Merlin developed her own specimens, mixing different types of powder in careful measure, and decided he too would have a go at the craft. And for his rocket there would be no half-measures. It was going to be an absolute whopper that put these little puny firecrackers that made a few tiny bangs squarely in their place.

Head cocked to one side, Storm surveyed the scene. There was no way he could approach the bonfire unnoticed: Camelot’s citizens encircled the flames, the ones who had worked their way to the front of the crowd standing right up against the rope that kept everyone back. Even if he was sneaky and even if the humans all had their eyes glued on the explosions above, the auburn glow of the fire would betray his location. It would only take one person to see him for his ruse to be up.

He could, of course, set his firework off with a blast of Hellblaze and he was sorely tempted, but even he knew that was a bad idea. The purple flames were pretty distinctive. If he somehow managed to escape suspicion, which was by no means likely, then blame would no doubt attach itself to Tristan or Max, neither of whom could afford to forfeit any goodwill. Max was on his last legs as it was. Storm bit his lip a little as he remembered the snatches of conversation he had overheard just a few days before between Merlin, Gelda and Zeldris, his own mother sounding uncharacteristically sad and defeated. He knew she was telling Max’s parents that the time was fast approaching when the boy would have to sent away from Britannia, his power and volatility growing too great to contain. This pronouncement had been followed by a long, unnerving pause; Gelda had cried and Storm had never before known Zeldris to be so quiet.

“What are you doing?”

Storm, jumping a little into the air with the shock, turned quickly around to face the voice, his heart rate returning to normal as he saw Astrid looking up at him with wide, violet eyes. She was sucking on a toffee apple that was nearly as large as her head, her face gleaming with residue from the sweet. When he failed to answer, Astrid giggled then thrust the apple in his direction. “Do you want a bite?” she asked and Storm had to step back to avoid being covered in sticky goo.

“You’re alright, thanks,” he said wrinkling his nose.

“You’re plotting something,” Astrid gloated as she looked at him more closely. “Mummy says you’re always plotting something. She says you’re the naughtiest little boy she’s ever met.”

Storm, feeling the injustice of this, snapped back, “At least I’ve never destroyed the castle. Well, only that one time, or maybe two times,” he amended a little sheepishly. “Your brother does it nearly every month.”

“Mummy says he can’t help it.” Astrid peered at him some more and Storm shivered a little. It was as if she could see right through to his soul. “Max is rough but he’s not naughty. He doesn’t plan it. When he loses it he just goes mad. But you have a lot of power too,” Astrid said thoughtfully and Storm gasped as he felt her energy running up against his. “Loads of it, wow! Way more than me. Just like Max. Do you find it hard to control? They want to send Max away,” she added abruptly and her lip started to wobble. “He’s going to be lonely. I want to go with him but mummy said no, and daddy agreed and it’s not fair!”

To Storm’s horror the little girl burst into tears. A few of the nearby humans glanced in their direction, looks hardening to stone they saw him next to the sobbing child. Quickly, he put an arm around Astrid. “Hey, it’s alright. Stop crying. Please!” he hissed in her ear as she ignored him and the humans continued to glower. “Please stop! They think I upset you. I’m going to be in so much trouble.”

Astrid gulped, then swallowed hard over and over again, relief flooding Storm as her sobs gradually turned into hiccups. “I don’t want Max to go away,” she said sadly. “Daddy says he’ll be happy but how can he be? The demon world is horrible,” she said with a shudder. “I went there once. It’s all black and grey and cold. There’s no grass,” she explained. “How can you live with no grass? Or trees?”Storm said nothing, his arm still awkwardly around the small girl. “Um… would you like to see something interesting?” he asked tentatively, his other hand in his pocket, fingers running over the rocket he had constructed.

Astrid wiped her eyes with her sleeve. “What is it?” she asked.

“A rocket. A massive one,” Storm boasted. “It’s much, much better than the ones we just saw. All I need is some fire to set it off.”

“Oh! I can do that,” Astrid proclaimed. With a shifty sideways look she glanced around at the humans who, now the fireworks display had ended, had started milling about, exchanging pleasantries and buying spiced wine and smoked sausages. “Mummy said I mustn’t show anyone but you’re not going to tell on me. You have your own power.” Eyes darting around, Astrid turned her back on the crowds, pulling Storm with her. Then, to his amazement, shielded from the people’s view by both of their bodies, the little girl opened her hand to reveal a bright, burning flame.

“Mummy said the humans don’t like it,” Astrid said sadly as she closed her fingers, snuffing the fire out in an instant. “I think it’s pretty, don’t you? But some stuff happened before I was born and they don’t like magic anymore, unless it’s Lady Merlin’s, that’s what mummy said.”

Storm gave a small nod. “Yeah,” he agreed. “It’s best not to show them. So, no one knows you can make fire?”

“No, just my family. They said it’s a secret.”

“Good.” Storm pulled Astrid even further away from the bonfire and into the shadows. “No one will suspect you then. Just send out a spark and light this fuse,” Storm instructed as he pointed to the bit of rope that trailed from the body of the firework. “Then you’ll see what I’m talking about.”

Astrid looked up at him, grinned and, without another word, sent out a flash of flame to ignite the string. Instinctively, Storm pulled her back and away from the rocket, dragging her into the crowd just as a piercing whistle rang out over the land and, with a tremendous boom, the missile launched into the air, spitting every colour of spark in its wake.

“Woah,” Astrid cried appreciatively as the rocket whizzed up into the velvet black of the sky and then broke apart in a shower of blue and purple and gold, three heads of silver snakes angrily hissing outwards from the copious plumes of smoke. The people below gasped, children huddling close to their parents as the serpents writhed and coiled, their fangs gleaming as streams of light scattered down from them to the ground. A few of the kids started screaming and panic settled over the crowd, the tension palpable until, with a burst of flame that matched the sudden rush of relief, the snakes vanished as quickly as they had arrived, leaving nothing but light grey streaks of cloud behind them.

“That. Was. Amazing!” Astrid gushed. “Do it again! Please,” she begged as Storm gaped at her. “I want to see another one. That was… Oh…” she trailed off, her face collapsing as a shadow fell across her face. Storm bit his lip, already knowing what he would see as he turned to look at what was behind him.

“Storm!” His mother was fuming, her eyes narrowed and her hands planted firmly on her hips. “I know that was you. You made that… aberration while I was working. How many times do I have to tell you to stop doing these things? Why can you not just behave, like Astrid here? She is never in trouble.”

Storm swallowed, begging Astrid in his head to keep her mouth shut as Merlin continued, “How even did you manage to set the thing off? I did not detect any trace of Hellblaze. I was on the lookout specially…” Merlin paused, her eyes flitting to Astrid, then to Storm, and back to Astrid again. “I knew you had the power of flame,” she murmured under her breath as she peered at the girl. “How could you not given your parentage. But to exert that amount of control, at your age and without any training?”

Storm gulped. “It wasn’t her…” he began.

“Do not dare lie to me!” Merlin ground out through her teeth. “You are both of you in serious trouble. Astrid, I had come to expect better from you. You have a reputation for being an obedient child. Think carefully before you sully yourself next time.”

Astrid shuffled her feet uncomfortably and looked as if she were about to burst into tears. Merlin sighed, then patted her on the head. “Do not fret yourself child. There was no harm done. Everyone seems to think it was part of the display. It is my reputation that shall take a beating on this occasion, but I can weather it. And I am interested in exploring this power of yours. I am disappointed that your parents did not see fit to confide in me about your abilities but… perhaps after all I can understand their reticence. Be that as it may you must commence training, starting tomorrow. Come to my laboratory with your brother in the morning.”

“You mean it!” Astrid grinned so widely Storm thought her face might crack. “I’ve always wanted to do that. Thank you! I’ll be good. I really will!”

“I know you will child,” Merlin said kindly. “And Storm,” she barked, halting his progress as he had started to slip quietly away. “You are in disgrace. You will spend the rest of this evening in your room and, barring emergencies, you will not emerge again until morning. Is that understood?”

“Understood,” Storm said with a sigh. Astrid gave him a little wave as he set off for his room, smiling to himself in spite of the punishment. “This should be fun,” he muttered under his breath as he made his way back through the dark line of trees.

[brooksfms]

i had whole ass DAYS to write this intro and guess what we didn’t do ? love that for me :/ but hey thquad i’m a, i’m twenty-two, and idk who that bitch time management is but apparently i want nothing to do with ha :///////

˗ˏˋ  gregg  sulkin ／  he/him  ／  twenty  three  .  welcome to  los  angeles  ,  brooks  sinclair  !  the  glitterati  has  been  watching  you  .  rumour has  it  you  made  your  first  mark  in  the  industry  three  years  ago  &  that  your net  worth  currently  stands  at  10m  .  it  seems  as  though  you’re  enjoying  being  a  forward  for  the  la  kings  since  relocating  from  boston  ,  ma  .  some  might  say  you’d  be  a  good  fit  for  the  glitterati  due  to  your  hollywood  ranking  being  a  solid  #2   ,  &  it  helps  that  fans  speak  so  highly  of  your  beguiling  &  sedulous ways  .  unfortunately  ,  our  sources  cite  that  those  closest  to  you  aren’t  particularly  impressed with  your  impetuous  &  turbulent  tendencies  .  

ONE. BASICS.

name : brooks adriano sinclair . 

age : twenty three . 

dob : february 18th , 1996 .

gender / pronouns : cismale , he & him .

sexual & romantic orientation : bisexual & biromantic . 

height: 5′11 and three quarters ( don’t fuckin forget it ) .

appearance: brown hair , hazel eyes , a long scar across his left collarbone, various other small scars scattered around his body , a tattoo sleeve extending from his left wrist to shoulder , dustings of freckles & moles .

occupation: center for the la kings .

hometown : manhattan , new york & boston , massachusetts .

TWO. BACKGROUND.

PHEW okay i learned from the wc i sent in that apparently his mom is a politician and his dad’s into business so we’re goin with that

operating largely out of the east coast, arnaud sinclair owns one of the largest and most competitive pharmaceutical companies, antares, which pulls in an average revenue over 10 figures

the company hasn’t been without its controversies over the years, having being implicated multiple times in bribing physicians to peddle out medications for revenue purposes only, but whenever the cases are almost brought to court the charges are always suddenly dropped

and it aint cause he has the best lawyers possible *wink wink, nudge nudge*

kill me for doing that tbh all im trying to say is that his dad is corrupt but my last brain cells are NOT thriving atm

on the FLIP side his mother, carmen sinclair, is a senator with a harvard-earned law degree and a very notable no nonsense, no bullshit attitude

so while success is typical of the sinclair name, fostering a home environment suitable for raising children isn’t exactly an area of .... expertise

more often than not, the three sinclair children (brooks and whomever the fuk his siblings are) were subject to watching their father pound through bottle after bottle while bringing home a new mistress every week

the screaming and the fighting, of course, was a lovely cherry on top

it’s a loveless marriage kept together only by convenience of positive public perception, but behind closed doors the sinclair family was ANYTHING but perfect

not wanting his parents to feel left out, brooks took it upon himself to also join in on the messiness 

bouncing between boarding schools following expulsions, reckless partying, and a criminal record that’s had to be expunged multiple times, it’s a miracle that the boy had any ambitions at all

but despite poor decisions mixed with even worse ones, brooks found a passion in hockey, and it was while he was at the philips academy near boston ( some bougie ass boarding school ) that he realized he could actually do something with this

his father resented him for abandoning the family’s dynasty for the sport and, well, brooks hated his dad because... who really likes their dad anyway KSNFKNSD but he spent less and less time at home until he started playing for boston college and stopped coming home altogether 

fuck a family i guess ??

at 18, he was drafted in the first round of the 2014 nhl draft by the new york rangers, bringing him closer to his family which is something he lk resented

being the new kid is always kinda rough but brooks loved the pressure of being expected to perform on the top-line, putting up 60 points in his first season

since success and happiness is boring, he soon fell under the wing of the more impulsive teammates who took quite well to partying and began missing team meetings, or if he did show up it would be post spring break level hungover, and he frequently argued with a lot of the veterans on the team

despite being one of the must prolific centers on the team, hq felt his attitude was a detriment to the team and thus he was shipped off to the la kings after the 2015-2016 season 

despite the pretty contract extension he signed, he’s a rough around the edges east coaster who’s living it up in la, trying to make a name for himself that’s distinct from the clutches of his family’s corrupt bs

THREE. PERSONALITY.

he doesn’t have one hehe

v v v goal-oriented, like he likes to get into some shit don’t get me wrong, but it’s almost like he has something to prove ?? he never wants to have to rely on his family’s wealth for anything or... really... associate w them at all NSFKNS

driven to the point where he isn’t afraid to step on other people if it means he’s getting to the top :// and can be v manipulative in that respect

and if he isn’t busy manipulating someone he’s trying to figure out exactly what it takes to get under their skin 

the kid’s got a wee bit of anger issues folks, would probably win the ‘most likely to get into a bar fight after someone looks at u the wrong way’ superlative 

will swing on sight just to spice up his tuesday night 

doesn’t really do well w settling down, but once he does he’s in it 4 real and probably has gotten his heart broken once or twice and that shit hurted

kinda the epitome of break up with your girlfriend i’m bored except not a bop and will very gladly break up a relationship just to watch the downfall like that lil girl grinning in front of a burning building

“hurt other people so u can’t get hurt urself” - the motto of a dumb bitch

but!! on the bright side, he loves to party so at least there’s some consistency in his life

would rather challenge u to see who can pound a 5th first before talking about any kinda “feelings” so there’s that on that

likes to live financially smart but also probably has 3 luxury cars that he drives once a year

loves his  siblings w his whole heart n soul but dont fucKIN bring up his parents or he’ll screech

FOUR. WANTED CONNECTIONS.

these are always the WORST but i know for a Fact that he needs a roomie so they can turn up and make grilled cheeses at 3 am baked out of their minds

his sibLINGS

maybe ur typical fwb??

exes on bad terms ( cause who needs happiness )

ex-flings

a neighbor or two :~)

someone pls give me a good enemy plot

saying he’s hard to tolerate is the underestimation of the century but any close friends would be……. fire

secret hookup for whatever reason? ( maybe someone hes trying to hide from the team IDK idk )

teammates!!

someone he’s fucked over in the past

someone who’s fucked him over in the past bc equality LIKE idk someone who he thought he was close w growing up and they were really just trying to get to him bc of his money.... as a matter of fact that could apply to any point of his life KSNFSK just make him unhappy pls

[meremennen]

This is going to be a thematical series.

1: Work In Progress Works

Okay, hear me out. Work in progress works are so underappreciated. 

And even though I’m not sure if all of these works will be continued, some probably not, but I love them for a reason and they deserve a shout out. They are all honestly so great for various reasons (for plot, for characterisation, for the idea itself, for writing style or for editing, etc.) and I don’t regret any minute of reading them. 

The list, sorted by current ratings:

aphelion (modern/ G /space pirates, loosely based on Firefly, multiple POV)

Arrangement of a Lifetime * (modern/ G/ fake/pretend relationship)

Heaven Can’t Wait (canon/ G/ kidfic, fluff and angst)

Hello, Princess  (modern/ G/ college/university, slow burn, Maths nerds, humor)

I Know I Don't Deserve It, But Stay With Me A Minute (modern/ M/ 10 Things I Hate About You AU (loosely)

Let’s Go to the Mall! * (modern/ G/ denial of feelings, high school)

mind if i check you out? * (modern/ G/ bellarke library au, rivalry)

The Rest Was History * (modern/ G/ fake dating)

The Will ‘o the Wisps (modern/ G/ fantasy, faes)

This is where you fall, this is when you get up * (modern/ G/ cowboy!Bellamy)

Baby Mine (modern/ M/ Jane the Virgin AU)

Now and Then * (modern/ M/ best friends to lovers, past and present)

The Art of Disappearing * (modern/ M/ fake marriage)

Up In Flames * (canon/ M/ post season 1 AU)

Win a Date with Bellamy Blake (modern/ M/ slow burn, fake dating)

All Is Love (modern/ E/ kid fic, unplanned pregnancy)

Bite Me (canon/ E/ season 1, affectionate insults)

Friends With Benefits (modern/ E/ college/university, friends to lovers, humor)

The Prisoner and The Cure * (modern/ E for gore/zombies)

Weave Me A Myrtle Crown * (modern/ E / firefighter!bellamy, paramedic!clarke)

Happy reading!

I don’t know everyone’s tumblr, or if they have any, so if anyone is actually reading this and you wanna tag them, please do so.

Ratings are indicative and might change.

* – probably won’t be updated, but we can always hope

***************************************************************************

All Is Love (E) by @bisexualbellamyblake (AO3: lightyears )

135k+

Summary: It all begins because Raven declares that she's on a sex ban for three months. Clarke reminds her of this when her life is turned upside down. Raven reminds Clarke later, when everything finds its place again. / Or, Clarke finds out she's pregnant six weeks after Bellamy leaves. 

*** S l o w burn. And that moment when they reunite, or when Bellamy finds out about Clarke’s little secret tortured me in ways that hurt a lot. But hey, still breathing ;-) ***

aphelion (G) by @kindclaws  (AO3: kindclaws )

45k+

Summary: It's been two years since the spaceship Aphelion mysteriously disappeared, its crew branded by the ARK as traitors to be shot on sight. Jake Griffin was on that ship, and with him, a dangerous secret that could change civilized space forever./ Now, Clarke wants some answers - and revenge, if she can get it. Bellamy wants a bigger ship - specifically, Clarke's. Wells wants to fix the system his father broke. Octavia wants a little fun. Miller wants everyone to stop making poor life choices. Harper wants to kiss the new girl. And Raven? Well, Raven just wants to blow shit up./ The universe won't know what's hit it. (Space pirates AU!)

*** what I love the most about this fic is the multiple POV! It is so rare to have these kinds of stories, and honestly, it gives such a unique feel to it. I am so, sooo grateful for this fic. ***

Arrangement of a Lifetime * (M) @ FFnet: moomolie1709

55k+

Summary: He needed her to pose as his girlfriend, and she needed him to make her unfaithful ex jealous. But what began as a simple transaction between two business partners soon becomes more complicated than either of them could have ever anticipated.

*** without giving too much away, there is a really cute bedsharing scene and another scene with Clarke in a dress that I loved a lot. Sadly, it also ends after a huge cliffhanger, and I really doubt this will ever be finished, but it deserves to be on this list. And like with every other WIP, You NeVER kNOw. Your comment might just be the one that makes the lovely writer to finish it.*** 

Baby Mine (M) @ AO3: stumblesun

80k+

Summary: A routine doctor's appointment, a mix-up and an artificial insemination...what could go wrong?

*** I haven’t watched Jane the Virgin, but you don’t have to. S l o w burn ***

Bite Me (E) by @notnicorette (AO3: notnicorette)

10k+

Summary: 'Bite me' is a common insult, right? People say it all the time. Except...Clarke ends up screaming it at Bellamy... And, for once...he does take one of her orders.

*** good old season 1 feels!!! And you know, who says it didn’t happen, just because we haven’t seen it on screen ***

Friends With Benefits (E) @ DreamofInception on AO3

60k+

Summary: Clarke Griffin and Bellamy Blake hate each other. But they like each other naked.

*** Such an excellent humor!!! And heartbreak. ***

Heaven Can’t Wait (G) by @randomly-random-jen (AO3: justanotherjen ) 

45k+

Summary: With the Apocalypse banging at their door, the Arkadians and what's left of Trikru take refuge in the remains of Alpha Station and hope for the best./ Over 500 souls crammed into a tin can, but there's only one that has Bellamy wrapped around her little fingers.

*** post season 3 canon divergent, it’s so raw and emotional, and I love this Bellamy so, so much!! ***

Hello, Princess (G) @ AO3: moonyredmoon

Summary: Professors and TAs were supposed to teach and help you. They were supposed to appreciate students who took the time to come see them and ask questions. If nothing else, they were supposed to have a clear explanation when it came to questions on grading. Instead, Clarke had even more questions and only one new piece of information… / Bellamy Blake was an asshole.AU with Clarke in college as a pre-med student, and Bellamy her Calculus TA. More characters and tags will be added as they are introduced.

*** SLOWBURN, Maths nerd Bellamy tutoring Maths nerd Clarke is such a unique concept and I love it so much!! ***

Let’s Go to the Mall! * (G) @ AO3: Willaphyx

20k+

Summary: Clarke Griffin was looking forward to a summer of working at her favorite art store in the local mall. That is until she found out who works at the bookstore across the hall: Bellamy Blake, who quickly becomes Clarke's least favorite person. But it would seem like Bellamy doesn't quite feel the same. With the whole summer ahead of them, who knows what could happen?

*** It’s super cute. ***

mind if i check you out? * (G) @ AO3: earthandsky

5k+

Summary: "'Literally, he’s the only clerk to get requests from patrons,' Monty had told Clarke a few days ago, rolling his eyes. 'People come to the desk with all of their stuff and will specifically ask for Bellamy to check them out.' / Raven had grinned. 'I think they’d rather check him out.' / Monty had pulled a face but didn’t disagree. Apparently, Clarke was meeting him today. And he was going to train her. Awesome." / Bellarke Library AU.

*** Just read it. It’s great! ***

Now and Then (G atm, though it’s rated M) by @100yearsofbellarke (AO3: InfiniteBeauty93)

30k+

Summary: Growing up since birth together Bellamy and Clarke have been through the best and worst of times. But when Bellamy gets engaged and Clarke confesses her love to him he rejects her leaving her heartbroken. Now spending a week at her family's vacation house with Bellamy's in preparation to his wedding the past and present collide.

*** well, normally I don’t read anything with e.cho but this story was posted before the dark days, and trust me, it’s good. I’m really loving the alternating timelines!!! ***

I Know I Don't Deserve It, But Stay With Me A Minute (G, possibly turning M) @ AO3: belgardebells

45k+

Summary: Octavia Blake isn't allowed to date until her big brother Bellamy does, so she calls in a favour from her best friend Clarke Griffin. All Clarke has to do is seduce Bellamy, fake date him, and then break things off when Octavia starts going out with her waiter conquest. It's supposed to be quick, easy, and painless. And it is. Until Clarke starts falling for real.

*** this author has multiple WIPs (I recommend them all) and a really unique writing style and humor ***

The Art of Disappearing (M) @ AO3: Jenye

20k+

Summary: The first night they met they witnessed a grisly murder. Now they’re being placed into the Witness Protection Program. Starting life over in Ark, Minnesota was definitely not part of Clarke’s five-year plan. And gaining a wife certainly wasn’t something Bellamy saw himself doing this year.

*** Bellamy and Clarke falls in love in witness protection ***

The Prisoner and The Cure * (E for gore) @ AO3: PaintedGhostOrchid 

30k+

Summary: The US has been transformed into a barren, post-apocalyptic wasteland after a viral outbreak leaves society in shambles. But Clarke Griffin is a girl on a mission to her mother's research facility to deliver the only-known cure- if only she can avoid the free-roaming criminals who are determined to kill her, led by one particularly terrifying (and handsome) escaped prisoner who will stop at nothing to get what he wants. / Loads of Bellarke tension, human survival, the occasional zombie (but not much), jealousy, and romance.

*** Bellamy as a grumpy prisoner trying to save his sick sister. And then, there is Clarke. She is special. They are fighting their way through the zombie apocalypse.  ***

The Rest Was History * (G) @ AO3: Tate

25k+

Summary: Historian Bellamy Blake needs to impress his potential bosses at ARK Enterprises. He's got everything they're looking for, except the girlfriend that his best friend Raven Reyes assures him will win them over. But that's okay, because Raven's found just the girl. Only, there's one problem. Bellamy Blake and Clarke Griffin really, really hate each other.

*** ummm, quite a few tropes in this. One of the details I really, really loved is the name of the car and fLUsTeREd Bellamy.  ***

The Will ‘o the Wisps (G) @ AO3: DracoTerrae

5k+

Summary: With his kingdom falling to darkness, Jake Griffin barely managed to escape to another world, his young daughter, Clarke in tow. Twenty years later, Clarke wanders a little off the designated trails and stumbles into the very world her father left behind. Now desolate and under the shadow of darkness, Clarke slowly gathers a ragtag group with whom she will fight the powers that brought this world to its knees.

*** it’s very mysterious at the moment, only a few chapters in, but I cannot wait to read more. On hiatus, but I have faith ***

This is where you fall, this is when you get up (G) by @queenofchildren (AO3: queenofchildren )

35k+

Summary: In which Bellamy is a grumpy cowboy, Jake knows a good steak when he eats it, and Clarke makes a decision.

*** COWBOY BELLAMY, WHAT ELSE DO YOU NEED? ***

Up In Flames * (M) @ FFnet: lucawindmover

60k+

Summary: AU Post Season 1 finale. They were meant to be used as a new influx of genes for Mount Weather. But Clarke Griffin and her band of survivors would not be going along willingly.

*** The MM made them do it. Sooooo, I wish I could say this story will continue!! Anyway, I just love this one so much, it has to be on this list. ***

Weave Me A Myrtle Crown (E for abuse and sexy times) @ AO3: AJRedfern

75k+

Summary: Clarke's not a woman easily shaken - she has a reputation of being 'logical, level-headed if a little cold-blooded'. And then she gets assigned as the new Paramedic In Charge to Firehouse 82. Amidst the people she's starting to call her friends, is Bellamy Blake: heroic firefighter, exemplary Lieutenant, complete asshole. Normally, this would have been fine - it's not the first time she's had to work with someone she despised. Except dreams keep plaguing her. Dreams that start the day she first met him. Dreams of a different life, a different time, a different world. Dreams of him, of her, of them. Dreams that start to feel like memories. Yeah, her carefully constructed facade isn't going to survive Firehouse 82.

*** Reincarnation (?) AU. I wish I could say this will be updated, but I have doubts. Regardless, the parallel timeline/flashbacks are giving the story an amazing flavour, and the UST is excellent ***

Win a Date with Bellamy Blake (M) by @bittyab18 (AO3: Bittyab18 )

125k+

Summary: Clarke Griffin's best friend enters her in a contest to win a date with Bellamy Blake, famous actor/Hollywood heartthrob/bad boy. Except, Clarke already knows Bellamy, and she's not a fan of him or his movies. Because her life sucks, she wins, and now she's reintroduced to the guy she loved to hate in high school. 

*** So much UST, so much angst and so much cuddling. A true s l o w burn. ***

*****************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************

I hope you will give it a go and show these writers some love.

***************************************************************************

Coming up next (probably): 

Fake dating/Arranged Marriage/Accidental Pregnancy

[sp4c3-0ddity]

for the trope mashup: 9 or 12 + 66 for Plance, please? ;) btw, what other ships do you like writing for? I'd love to send prompts for other characters too, but I'd hate to ask for a ship you dislike. thanks! :D

oh hi i like...several other ships. i like writing kallura too, and maybe wouldn’t mind trying my hand at kidge or heith, but my muse is so stubborn it tends to scream PLANCE at me all hours of the day ;_;

but now for something a little spoopy...except this is more angsty than scary or creepy. no, if you want “creepy” wait till you get a load of post-apocalyptic android Pidge AU

~5200 words, urban fantasy AU. enjoy!!

(12) Roommate AU

(66) It’s Not You It’s My Enemies

The envelope sits heavily in Pidge’s hand, and trying to starethrough the paper to see its contents isn’t working. She’s not Superman.

(Unless she is and the paper’s lined with lead?)

A divining charm wieldednothing, so she knows it’s not enchanted. But she can’tnot besuspicious of an envelope that someone dropped through a greenhouse windowright in her office, her alias - Pidge Gunderson - printed on it in purple ink.

Keith hopping onto hercluttered desk jerks her from her thoughts. She offers the envelope to him, andwhen he sniffs it he says, It’s clean. No magic at all…

“Not even a werewolf?” she half-teases, quirking an eyebrow.

He bares his white fangs indispleasure, indicating he doesn’t appreciate her joke, butPidge laughs as she slices the envelope open with a knife.

Her mirth fades when a smallmetallic cylinder falls out and rolls across her desk. With the air trapped inher lungs, Pidge picks it up with a pair of forceps and raises it to her eye.

A bullet.

A silver bullet.

She drops it into an emptyglass with a clatter and, with her heart beating an uneven rhythm against herribs, pulls a note from the envelope.

You have until the end of themonth.

-S.

A scowl twists her lips, furygripping her as she crumples the note in her fist and throws it against theopposite wall with a wordless yell. She glares at where it lands in one of hermany pots of soil before anger dissipates and something like gut-wrenching fear replaces it instead.

Pidge buries her face in herhands. “W-what am I going to do?”

Keith, bristling and startledwith his ears folding back, prompts, Pidge?

“I-I screwed up,” she confesses in a low voice, pressing herfingers into her eyes, “again.

“What now? Every time I think I’m close to bringing them down,they—” Her chest tightens, but her rage is quickly returning, her fingernailsdigging into her palms.

The silver bullet sitting inits glass catches her eye, mocking her, but before she can grab that and chuck it across the room, apatterned knock sounds from the door.

“Are you okay, Pidge? I heard you yell, and I can smell your f—”

She sucks in a breath, herheart racing while her gaze roves around the room, searching for an excuse. “I-It’s nothing, Lance,” she replies as levelly as she can. “Keithjust…started digging in one of my planters and I thought he might’ve gotten tothe roots.”

Keith hisses at her, ignoringher apologetic shrug, his bushy black tail swishing behind him as he hops offher desk and darts behind her bed.

To her relief, Lance seems tobuy her excuse. “Are you sure Keith is your familiar and notjust a cat you brought to torment me?”

Another hiss from behind herbed, and Lance grumbles, “Fine, fine, you understandevery word I’m saying…”

A reluctant smile pushes at herlips, and she props her elbow on her desk. “Yes, he is myactual familiar, Lance.”

“Just making sure since if the landlord finds out—”

“What is this, your fiftieth time asking?” Pidge wonders, raisingan eyebrow at the door. “And you don’t care about the landlord finding out; youjust don’t like cats!”

“Pidge, I’m a werewolf!” Lance retorts, and she can imagine himrolling his eyes. “It would be weird if I did like cats, so you’re lucky I like you enough to let him stay!”

Pidge’s pathetic heart skips a beat, but she manages to respond alittle breathlessly, “I-I’m flattered.”

“A-anyway,” Lance continues, his voice cracking, “since I’m hereyou want to…do something tonight? I’m leaving in the morning since tomorrownight’s the full moon so…”

In her mind’s eye he smiles sheepishly, hopefully, and rubs the back of hisneck while shifting from foot to foot. Nervous tics…but why is he nervous?

The note echoes through herhead, the silver bullet a subtle but obvious threat that fills her withforeboding. She’s running out of time…

But there’s no reason she can’t enjoy what she has left with Lance.

“All right,” she says, smiling. “What did you have in mind?”

“I’m moving out,” Pidge announces while they’re watching a movie.

Lance isn’t sure what it’s about, or even what the title is. Pidge chose it- it looks like some kind of thriller, with a plot more complicated than theaction movies he prefers - and he shrugged when she connected her laptop,entertained enough by the occasional explosions and how soft her hair feelsbetween his fingers when he teases out the tangles.

But his hand freezes as heprocesses her words, his heart plummeting. “O-oh? You...found a betterplace?”

And what’s wrong with their apartment? Sure, thekitchen is tiny and some mysterious substance stains the sofa cushions andthere are tiles missing in the bathroom and the power outages are just alittle too frequent and thesmoke alarms are overly sensitive and at least three streetlights needreplacing at any given time and water drips in through the windows whenever itrains, but it’s still home.

“Yeah, I-I found a new job.” Pidge sits up, her body drifting awayfrom Lance as she avoids his eyes.

“I didn’t even know you were looking for a new job,” he says,unable to keep the hurt from his voice.

“I didn’t want to tell you until I knew it would work out,” shesays with an apologetic smile. She rests her hand on his arm. “I’m sorry.If it’s any consolation, I’m not leaving till the end of the month.”

“Time enough to find a new roommate, huh?” Lance raises aneyebrow, trying not to show how much that thought hurt. “What’s wrong with your job here, Pidge?”

“Nothing,” she admits, shrugging. “I just felt a little...stagnant.I needed a change, somewhere I could grow, and some place closer to my family.I miss them.”

A sigh escapes him, and hemusters a smile for her when she looks up at him. “I can understand that,” he says. “I guess I’ll have to missyou now.”

Pidge half-jumps into his lapwhen she throws her arms around his neck. “I’ll miss you too,” shemurmurs, her warm breath brushing his ear, her sweet, earthy scent filling hisnostrils, “you goofball.”

Lying to Lance leaves a bittertaste in her mouth, and the guilt weighing down her heart only grows heavierthe longer he’s away.

By now she’s accustomed to him spending a day or two out of every month in arented warehouse on the waterfront - despite her brewing a potion to mitigatethe worst of his transformation, he errs on the side of caution and spends thefull moon away from her - but this time the apartment’s emptiness and quietstabs something through her chest and twists.

A big part of her wants toutilize the time she doesn’t have her job at thegreenhouses to distract her hunting down the one who sent her that note, butshe doesn’t have anything personal - the bullet is completely clean offingerprints and oils and the note wasn’t written by hand - with which to casta tracking spell.

Besides, whoever it is surelyhas powerful friends…friends that can still make her life or the livesof her loved ones miserable or worse.

If Pidge can’t take the Galra down from the top in one fell swoop, picking themoff one by one won’t help if they can so easily pinpoint the one person shecares for in the whole damn city.

You can always tell him, Keith suggests, interruptingher moping by prodding her hand with his head.

“What good will that do?” she asks. She rests her hand on his backwhen he curls into a ball beside her, careful not to pet him lest he decide he’drather bite her. A heavy sigh escapes her, and she burrows deeper into ablanket that smells like Lance’s natural musk. “He’ll just try to convince me tostay anyway, and I’m worried it’ll work.”

God, but she wants to stay with him. She enjoys thestability in the routine they established in the year she’s lived here, enjoys his company and their banter, enjoys playingvideo games on the nights he has off from work and convincing him to sample thepotions she sells via Internet order and hearing that curious, low growl fromthe back of his throat when they’re out and an inebriated man so much as leersin her direction…

But she needs to keep him safe, even at the expense of her happiness.

What can the Galra really do? Keith scoffs. The second they make a move—

Pidge smacks her hands to herface and hisses, “I don’t have the proof I need yet! I can exposethem to mortal police, but what damage will that do?” She bolts to her feet, displacing Keith as she stalks into thekitchen and fills a kettle while her heart pounds a frantic tempo. “As long asI’m digging - as long as they’re intact - then they’ll keep threatening m-mymother and”—she flicks the stove on under the kettle—”now Lance too.”

How stupid was she to thinkthat simply moving would put them off? Feigning an identity and living under anassumed name only shifted their focus from her mother to…her roommate.

The same roommate she fell inlove with.

She opens and slams shutcupboards searching for her tea, and when she finds them in the back of adrawer, the mix she wants isn’t there.

“For the love of the—”

Something tugging on her pantleg attracts her attention, and she peers down to see Keith with a plastic bagin his mouth.

“Thanks,” she says with a sheepish smile, holding her hand out toaccept the bag of dried flowers when Keith jumps onto the counter. She raisesan eyebrow at him after dumping the tea into the boiling kettle, watching himnibbling the pads on his paw. “You know Lance doesn’t like it when—”

I won’t tell him if you don’t, Keith tells her.

The knife in Pidge’s chest twists, and she bites her lip and says, “It’s far fromthe worst I’m keeping from him.”

After calling his mother likehe does the morning after any full moon, Lance stands outside his apartmentdoorway. The ache of a transformation behind him still fills his muscles, andhe wants nothing more than to crawl under his bedsheets and sleep the day awayuntil his night shift.

But he can’t enter yet, not when Pidge might already be at work and he mightwalk into an empty apartment just like he will every morning after she leaves.

While he deliberates with dreadtying his stomach into knots, the door swings open.

Pidge pulls up short, her eyeswidening behind her glasses as they focus on his face. “Lance,” she breathes. “Y-you’re back early.”

“I am?” He frowns, something about her demeanor making the hairson the back of his neck stand on end, and…oh, yes, that’s the bitter scent offear wafting off her. “Pidge, are you—”

“Running late for work?” she interrupts with a too-broad smile. “Yes,yes I am.” She hefts her bag higher onto her shoulder and adds, “I’ll bestaying late to make up for it too. Don’t expect me to be back before youleave. Bye, Lance!”

Pidge pushes past him withoutwaiting for him to say anything, but as she speeds down the hall and disappearsinto the stairwell, he raises a hand and waves.

It’s much the same for the next week, with him only seeing Pidge ashe returns home from work and she leaves for hers with nothing more than a curtgoodbye. Not so much as a hug exchanged or a stray touch or a kind word.

He sits alone in theirapartment on the same couch they’ve fallen asleep on togethercountless times, enveloped by the unique sweet scent of her brand of magic anddeclining his friends’ invitations to go out on his night off - the first nighthe has a prayer of his time home overlapping with Pidge’s.

Lance’s chest tightens, and he can’t help wondering if he’s lost Pidgebefore she’s even left him.

Pidge’s first thought when she steps through the doorway is that sheshould’ve bought more food from the Thai takeout place on the next block.

Her second thought is why is Lance home?

He’s slumped on the couch, a furrow in his brow and the tip of histongue sticking out of his mouth while he clutches a Gameflux controller, stillwearing his pajamas with a massive cowlick at the back of his head like he justrolled out of bed.

Which, considering hisschedule, he probably did just rollout of bed.

But the sight of him sittingthere makes her breath catch. For the last week she’s timed it perfectly so that she comes home after he leaves forwork, so seeing him there is…unnerving.

“What’re you still doing here?” she blurts once she finds hertongue.

Lance sags as his character onscreen dies, the music descending a scale, and looks over the back of the couchtowards her. “I…have tonight off from work?”

Pidge’s jaw flaps uselessly. She sets her dinner on the kitchen counterwhile she recovers before finally saying, “I forgot.”

“Oh, so if you knew I didn’t have work tonight, you would’ve…what?”Lance shoots to his feet and wanders around the sofa into the kitchen, hiseyebrow raised and arms crossed. “Spent the night at the greenhouses to avoidme?”

His accusation squeezes herheart, and she can’t bring herself to meet his eyes. She busies herhands with pulling takeout boxes from the paper bag and says, “I just…have alot of packing to do before I move, and with you distracting me—”

“Avoiding me before you leave isn’t going to make it any easier onme…or on either of us,” Lance points out in a low but cutting voice. “A fewweeks aren’t enough time to find a new roommate, for one; do you know how hardit was to find someone after Hunk moved out?”

Pidge bites her lip, fingerstightening around the box of chicken satay while an unreasonable spike ofirritation hits her. “I guess I’m just convenient because I didn’t mindthe whole werewolf thing, huh?”

Lance’s eyes widen, his jaw dropping. “Wait, what—”

She glares at her food andbites out, “I’m used to your mannerisms - like your hypersensitive nose andears and your meaty diet and your overprotectiveness while we’re out - so youjust don’t want the inconvenience of finding someone else like me to split rentwith.”

Pidge swallows around a stupid,sudden lump in her throat at the thought that Lance would one day replace her, even as just a roommate, even if it’s better for him.

“That’s not at all what I meant, Pidge!” he retorts, flailing his arms. “I mean, sure, having to find anew roommate is inconvenient, but maybe I justdon’t want you to leave?”

She finally forces her eyes upto his, taking in his deep frown and just…how unhappy he looks.

She can wash that all away,take his hands - how tactile Lance iscan be a blessing as much as a curse - and reassure him she won’t be going anywhere. But instead she grits out, “That’s not up toyou.”

“I know it’s not,” Lance says, “but why avoid me?”

She pinches her eyes shut,pretends she can’t hear the hurt in his voice or feel the dread weighing her down.

He has a point, Keith offers from his perch onthe back of the sofa. Why not just spendwhat time you have left with him?

“Won’t you get jealous?” she mumbles, low enough that he’ll hearher but Lance won’t.

“Get jealous of who?” Lance says, quirking an eyebrow inconfusion.

Ah, right…werewolf ears.

“Nothing, I just…” Pidge sags, the tension bleeding out of her.She sets her food down and flexes her stiff fingers, staring at them as sheadmits more easily than she should, “Y-you’re right. Avoiding you isn’t goingto make me miss you any less when I leave.”

“So…?”

An unwitting grin pushes up herlips, stunned that only a single syllable can hold so much hope. She pulls achair away from the kitchen table and says, “I know you prefer meat, but…whatabout with peanut butter?”

Half-empty boxes sit in pilesall over the apartment’s interior, papers and books and binders and theleaves of potted plants poking out of them. Lance should be accustomed to themby now, should know to expect something sitting at the corner betweenhis bedroom and the bathroom, but his toe always collides with a box heavy withold electronics and an encyclopedia on green magic.

The pain shooting through hisfoot almost distracts him from the pang in his chest when he lays eyes on a boxthat’s fuller every time he looks at it, but he’s no closer tofiguring out some way to convince Pidge to stay.

It had been a mistake to whineabout the difficulty he’ll have finding a newroommate, and reminding her that he relies on her to brew the potion that easeshis monthly transformation is even more self-serving - and he can always askAllura to connect him with someone else.

But Lance can’t picture himself living in an apartment devoid of Pidge’s pottedherbs and bubbling cauldron and green magic “experiments”; he even can’timagine scenting the air without catching a whiff of cat. Theimage refuses to materialize, and he realizes with a startling clarity and withwarmth spreading through his chest that he loves her.

Lance groans and drapes himselfin the doorway to her bedroom. In a week all her belongings will be gone, fromKeith’s cat tree in the corner to the grimoire of spells lying open onthe vanity, nothing but her scent lingering behind…and even that will fadewithin a month.

A low, feline growl disruptshis bleak thoughts. When Lance zeroes in on the source, Keith meets his gazefrom his hiding spot behind Pidge’s bed, his yellow eyes gleamingin the shadow.

“I guess you’re looking forward to being gone, huh?” Lance says,crossing his arms and narrowing his eyes. “Bet you won’t miss me, and I won’tmiss you either!”

Pidge’s familiar doesn’t react beyond an agitated flick of his tail, whichLance can’t interpret. Reading feline body language isn’t exactly his strongsuit.

The lack of response rankleshis nerves. He sits heavily on the edge of Pidge’s bed and buries his face inhis hands.

“Maybe I should tell her,” he mumbles. “Maybe if she knows I loveher, she’ll change her mind…”

But what would be the point? Ifhe tells her and she stays, won’t she regret not taking thatnew, better job to be closer to her family? Eventually she’ll just resent him…

“And if she feels the same, would she even want to leave?”

A clink of metal against glassmakes him jump, and he spins around to see Keith vaulting from the desk ontothe bed. He crosses to Lance on silent paws, something in his teeth glittering.

“What’s that in your mouth?” he wonders, raising an eyebrow. WhenKeith bows his head, Lance’s eyes widen in alarm, and he taps his chin. “Wait,no, don’t eat that! If you die on my watch, Pidge will—”

Keith spits his “meal” into his open palm.

It burns his skin on contact,shooting hot pain up his arm. A yelp escapes him as he bolts to his feet, andhe turns his hand, dropping something small and metallic onto thestar-patterned comforter.

Lance rubs his hand, wincing atthe lingering heat, more focused and intense than a sunburn. A red rectangularmark is burned into his palm.

He reaches a hand towards thetiny metal cylinder lying on the bed before thinking better of it.

He grabs the bath towel drapedover the edge of Pidge’s desk chair and picks up the object with it,raising it to eye level. “What the cheese? Is this a bullet?”

Lance glances at Keith seatedon the bed, observes the thrashing of his tail and the black fur bristlingalong his spine.

And he may not know cats, buthe does know Keith.

Just like he knows that asilver bullet can kill a werewolf dead if it so much as penetrates his skin.

Pidge hasn’t delayed coming home since she reached a truce with Lance, whichis why finding him dressed in his security guard uniform and waiting to greether before he leaves isn’t shocking.

But the way he looks at herwhen she passes through the door - like he’s never seen herbefore - makes her heart skip a beat in alarm.

Lance holds out his hand, andPidge shakily wonders, “W-why are you wearing glovesin…”

The silver bullet glints almostprettily in his hand.

She sucks in a breath andraises her eyes to his, her whole body flushing with the wrong emotion - with anger. “What the hell were you doingin my room?” she demands.

Lance’s fist closes on the bullet as he retorts, “Why do you have a silver bullet in there?”

“I have a—it’s not mine!”

“Then why do you have something that can literally kill me?” He drops the bullet on the coffee table, ignoringit when it rolls off and disappears under the couch, and peels off his glove.He waves his hand in Pidge’s face and exclaims, “Look at this!”

Her breath catches in herthroat at the sight of the livid red mark on his skin, proof that just thetouch of silver can hurt him. “I…you weren’t meant to find that,”she mutters lamely, her anger fading.

“Clearly Keith never got the message!” Lance gestures around the room, and it’s only then that Pidgerecognizes her familiar is nowhere in sight. “And this is nasty enough it mightscar!”

She pinches her eyes shut andsays, “I-I’m sorry.”

“What’s it for anyway?” He crosses his arms, not quite loomingover her but getting close. “You keep this in case I stick around for the fullmoon?”

“Of course not!” Pidge fires back, her fists clenching at hersides. “And even if you did, I know you’re not any danger to me!”

“Is it for someone else then?” Lance wonders. His demeanor shifts,tension filling his limbs and a scowl twisting his lips. “D-do you know manyother werewolves that are threatening you and you needto defend yourself against?”

Pidge’s jaws flap uselessly, startled by his line of questioning, buther shame writhes in her stomach, at how close yet how far heis from the mark. “I…don’t know any other werewolves here, no…”

“Then why do you have it? I’ve never even seen you carry a weapon…orare you hiding a gun under your pillow too?”

“I carry mace,” she grumbles, but a sigh bursts from her and shemutters, “Someone sent it to me.”

Lance’s eyes widen. “Who? Did you tell—”

“Of course not!” Pidge retorts, glaring at him. “My mother’s awitch too, and I haven’t even told her that I live with a werewolf.W-why would I deliberately endanger you like that?”

“I don’t—wait, deliberately?”

Her chest tightens, a grimacecrossing her face. Of course hepicked out the one word she shouldn’t have let slip. “Lance, Ishould—”

Come clean? Keith suggests from wherever he’s hiding. I agree.

“Shut up,” she mutters under her breath, although she suspects he’ssomewhere he can’t hear her. She turns to Lance, who stares at her, his blueeyes no longer as accusatory but something in them still making the knife inher gut twist. “Keith gave you that, didn’t he?”

He nods. “I didn’t think a witch’s familiar could snitch on them.”

Pidge rolls her eyes. “When Keith and I renew our contract, I’ll have something to addto it, apparently…but he’s right. I should tell you.”

“Tell me what?” Lance asks warily.

“Something…important. Wait here.” She retreats to her bedroom -barely sparing a glance for Keith curled up on her pillow - and grabs thewrinkled note off her desk. When she returns to the living room, Lance sitsslumped against the couch’s arm, and Pidge perches beside him.

She passes him the note.

“You want me to read during my time off the clock?” he grumbles,but his gaze already scans the words, eyes widening.

He waves it, glowering. “Who sent this to you?”

“A warlock named Sendak,” Pidge explains, a shiver of feartraveling up her spine at the image of his darkly enchanted smoky eye fixed onthe camera - on her - every time she watched thechilling recording. “He’s a high-ranking member of the so-called GalraEmpire.”

Lance’s eyes bug out. “Pidge, why are you—”

“My real name is Katie,” she confesses, wringing the hem of hersweater. “Pidge is a dumb childhood nickname my brother gave me.”

“Katie…” Lance breathes, almost like he’s tasting it, and Pidgehas to bite her lip to keep from smiling at the sound of her real name fallingfrom his tongue.

“Why are you—”

“My dad was - is - a witch too. His and mybrother’s specialty is magical devices and technology powered with magic.They”—she inhales shakily, her heart squeezing—”were on the brink of inventinga sort of…magical battery with unlimited capacity that anyone, not just thecreator, could add to or draw from.” She pulls her feet onto the couch andwraps her arms around her legs, swallowing. “Th-that’s when they, theprototype, and all the designs disappeared.”

Lance wraps an arm around hershoulders. She leans into him, closing her eyes and shuddering as his warmthenvelopes her.

“And you think the Galra took them?”

“I know they did,” Pidge hisses, glaring through her eyelashes at the floor. “Icombed the security footage from my dad’s lab more times than I can count untilI found him. Andwhen I started to dig into them”—her fingernails dug intopalms—”and I knew I had to disappear too.”

He prods her arm and presses, “But why is a warlock threatening you? What did you—”

Her throat itches as she blinkstears from her eyes. “I-it’s not me he’s threatening, Lance.”

“W-what?”

She pulls away from him,raising her gaze to his. “Th-the first time theythreatened my mother,” she says carefully, “I didn’t believe them.” Her stomachroils with shame all over again, but she pushes it away. “Sh-she’s lucky allshe lost is her voice.”

“O-oh.” Lance takes her hands, his surprisingly soft fingerswrapping around hers, and offers her a tremulous smile. “So they’re threateningher again?”

If not for him holding herhands, she would’ve smacked her forehead out of mounting frustration. “Lance,” shegrits out, “Sendak sent me a silver bullet.”

Guilt bites her whenrealization hits him, when his eyes shoot open and his fingers tighten aroundhers. “W-what?”

“You still want me to stay here?” Pidge asks, her brow furrowing. “Giveme one good reason, Lance.”

His jaw sets, and he blurts, “Me!”

Lance refuses to second guess.

He kisses her, cupping her facebetween his hands and tilting her head back. Her scent - so much like theflowers blooming on the fire escape, so much like the pure magic that risesfrom the earth in the country - fills his nose. Her fingers curl around hiswrists, her mouth a soft pressure against his.

A shiver runs up his spine athow effortlessly she takes over his senses.

A sigh escapes Pidge, warmagainst his lips, when he pulls back. Her eyes, slightly glazed and stillglistening with tears and crossing to keep his in view, flicker open. “Lance,” she murmurs, her thumb skirting over the soft skin on hiswrist and shooting heat up his arm.

Lance feels the dampness on hercheeks under his palms - against the burn - and wipes a tear that trails fromthe corner of her eye. “Pidge—”

She leans up and captures hislips again.

Pidge flings her arms aroundhis neck, pulling him against her. He wraps his around her back, wanting todraw closer, to feel the heat of her body flush against his.

Always wanting her there, regardlessof the threat. He can forgive her for keeping secrets if only she stays.

Her fingers run through hishair, tugging him a little closer. His nose bumps hers, and they break apart,breathless.

“I-I love you, Pidge,” he murmurs into her lips, his eyesflickering open to meet hers, warm and brown. “Or…Katie.” He smiles, reachingup to brush her hair away from her flushed cheek. “I-is that a good enoughreason?”

Lance reads the conflict in herface, his chest tightening when she pulls back with her eyes pinched shut.

“Th-that’s why I have to leave,” she tells him, even as her hand cups his jaw, her fingers softand warm against his skin. “I love you too, so I don’t want to be the reasonyou get hurt.”

“You won’t be,” he insists with growing desperation. “I-I can takecare of myself. And I even tolerate Keith!”

Pidge rests her foreheadagainst his collar bone, a shudder rippling through her and the scent of herfloral shampoo tickling his nose. “Lance,” she whispers, “you’rea security guard at a jewelry store.”

“So what?”

“So a supposed burglar can shoot you and make it look like an accident,”she suggests. “Someone can spike your food or drink with silver dust—”

“Then I’ll only eat or drink stuff that someone I trust prepares,”Lance counters. But a new idea takes root, and he licks his lips, his heartskipping a beat at what he’s about to suggest.

“Or—”

“Pidge,” he cuts her off, taking her chin and tilting her headback until their eyes meet, “how about I make the Galra my enemy too?”

She gasps, her eyes widening. “How is that a solution?” she demands. “Do you know howdangerous they are? And you’re not even a witch!”

Lance raises an eyebrow. “Yes, I do know something about howdangerous they are, and I know people who know even better.” He can’t help glowering at her, still a little put out she kepther dilemma from him for a whole year. “And I can introduce you to them.”

“But—”

She falls silent again when hepresses his lips to her wrinkled brow. “And you never know, Pidge,” hesays, shrugging, “you might meet someone who wants to bring them down as muchas you do.”

[letterboxd]

Horror.

Letterboxd presents our community’s 25 top rated horror films of all time.

With the release this month of the newest Halloween, and an embarrassment of riches in the form of thousands of new horror film reviews thanks to all the Hoop-tober / Shocktober / 31 Days of Horror challenges, we are feeling brave enough to open the crypt and pull out the Letterboxd community’s 25 Highest Rated Horror Films of All Time.

Don’t @ or stab us, these are computed from your ratings of all feature-length films tagged in our horror genre, as at 24 October 2018. It’s a wide-ranging list, with some perhaps surprising omissions—for example, the original Halloween, Night of the Living Dead and Evil Dead 2 all just missed the cut. See the full list or read on for data insights and member reviews of our highest rated horrors.

Strangling the numbers:

Though there is some genre crossover (into comedy with Young Frankenstein, mockumentary with What We Do in the Shadows and One Cut of the Dead, and zom-rom-com with Shaun of the Dead), these films are all categorized as horrors by us (and IMDb).

In the battle of great horror decades, the scary sixties wins with seven films, over five films from the slasher seventies and three from the evil eighties. Shout out to the terror twenties, with three films.

By country, USA has most films in the list, but Japan comes in strong second with four, Germany has three and France, Sweden and the UK are represented with two each. India, New Zealand and the Czech Republic also make the cut.

The most obscure film on the list (from a Western perspective) is Manichitrathazhu, from Kerala-born director Fazil, watched by just over 250 members.

All the directors are dudes. We can’t make any excuses for that, but we can point out that, behind-the-scenes and on-screen, women played important roles in these films. The Phantom Carriage, for example, is based on the novel by Sweden’s Selma Lagerlöf, who in 1909 was the first woman to win the Nobel Prize in Literature. And what would Jaws be without the editing prowess of Verna Fields?

There are five films on the list from this century, some by directors of color, including Jordan Peele, Jemaine Clement and Taika Waititi. Roll on the 21st century of horror.

On that note: this top 25 is based on member ratings, but we also have a popularity index—based on the sheer amount of activity for each film regardless of rating—which produces quite a different list, heavily favoring the 21st century.

Letterboxd’s 25 Highest Rated Horror Films (as at October 2018):

1. Psycho (1960, USA) Directed by Alfred Hitchcock

“Throughout his career, director Alfred Hitchcock has enriched the world of cinema with some truly groundbreaking thrillers and despite that, Psycho feels like something of a first from him. It’s his first stint with the genre of horror, it breaks through the barriers of censorship unlike any film before and over the years, it has played a major role in influencing not only films but pop-culture as well.” —CinemaClown

2. Alien (1979, USA) Directed by Ridley Scott

“When shit hits the fan it comes with the best first impression of any monster. PERIOD.” —TKettle

3. The Shining (1980, USA) Directed by Stanley Kubrick

“As soon as Jack Torrance is in frame, that uneasy feeling takes over. I feel as though I wish I could warn all of the other characters in the movie to walk on eggshells, don’t upset him! Maybe you shouldn’t talk to him right now! Can’t you see it! Just leave him alone! There has never been another character to give me such all-consuming anxiety.” —HollieHorror

4. The Thing (1982, USA) Directed by John Carpenter

“The man responsible for the movie’s stomach-churning physical effects deserves most of the credit for its appeal and success. Rob Bottin worked so hard he was hospitalized for exhaustion, pneumonia and a bleeding ulcer! And he was only 21 at the time! Pure underrated genius.” —Josh Stoddard

5. Rosemary’s Baby (1968, USA) Directed by Roman Polański

“I’m awestruck by how good this is. Every little detail from the very beginning means something and you really experience exactly what Rosemary experiences. Masterful spectatorship alignment.” —Sean Upton

6. Get Out (2017, USA) Directed by Jordan Peele

“When you prod underneath the surface here there’s so much just waiting to be unpacked. As a piece of writing it’s a masterclass in foreshadowing and subtext.” —Alex Secker

7. Jaws (1975, USA) Directed by Steven Spielberg

“Bruce, the mechanical shark, still works today. Even with all the VFX-heavy films that are commonplace now, the shark is [as] scary and compelling now as it was in 1975. The camerawork is masterful, and it feels like films now are still trying to catch up to what was happening behind the camera on this movie.” —EJ Moreno

8. 修羅 (Demons) (1971, Japan) Directed by Toshio Matsumoto

“Matsumoto è stato uno dei più grandi innovatori del cinema giapponese e fonte di ispirazione di grandi registi del cinema mondiale. Quest’opera non fa che confermarne l’importanza e la genialità.”

Translation: “Matsumoto was one of the greatest innovators of Japanese cinema and a source of inspiration for great world cinema directors. This work confirms his importance and genius.” —Tonino Mannella

9. Les Diaboliques (Diabolique) (1955, France) Directed by Henri-Georges Clouzot

“It was extremely suspenseful and you can see how this film had such a huge impact on Hitchcock when he made Psycho… Five out of five overly dramatic heart attacks.” —Libby Ajayi

10. Possession (1981, Germany, France) Directed by Andrzej Żuławski

“Ana’s spectral screams as she flows and dances like a ghoul in the subway. All I could do was cry at it, with her, for her.” —Claire Diane

11. 怪談 (Kwaidan) (1964, Japan) Directed by Masaki Kobayashi

“Every frame of this movie is a piece of art… To ask for more would be greedy.” —Gabe

12. മണിച്ചിത്രത്താഴ് (Manichitrathazhu) (1993, India) Directed by Fazil

“Perhaps the most popular film to come out of Kerala in this generation. The screenplay, the performance, and the plot are worth a study in [themselves]. Fantastic package of thrilling entertainment and storytelling.” —Vinay Warrier

13. Whatever Happened to Baby Jane? (1962, USA) Directed by Robert Aldrich

“Normally my heart really aches for ‘crazy’ characters who have been brutalized by the concept of womanhood but… it’s very hard for me to feel bad for Baby Jane.” —Caroline

14. The Innocents (1961, UK) Directed by Jack Clayton

“Exquisite and captivating… it’s the only movie I’ve watched this Hooptober that has genuinely scared me. Squirming, nail biting, chills down the back, all of it.” —Xebeche

15. Låt den rätte komma in (Let the Right One In) (2008, Sweden) Directed by Tomas Alfredson

“Deep down, it’s just a story about human misunderstanding, but it is gracefully put together to give you a thrilling ride that will make you root for an evil you’re not really sure is there. It makes you question your moral standards and puts you in a nice grey area.” —Charlie Bluu

16. カメラを止めるな！ (One Cut of the Dead) (2017, Japan) Directed by Shin'ichirô Ueda

“The film starts as a Z-list zombie movie and looks cheesy as hell, but when we discover we are watching more of a mockumentary of this film being made and the director on the verge of a breakdown, the fun really begins. The first 37 minutes are completely one cut… one cut, that actually blows my mind.” —Coles84

17. 鬼婆 (Onibaba) (1964, Japan) Directed by Kaneto Shindō

“In good ol’ black and white, Onibaba is a visually stunning erotic horror film painted in deep shadows and flesh… it’s less a ghost or monster tale and more of a morality play about the passions and desperation that arise in splintered, war-torn communities, and how no matter what we fear, we are ultimately our own demons. Creepy, sensual and effective.” —Doug Bellak

18. Das Cabinet des Dr. Caligari (The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari) (1920, Germany) Directed by Robert Wiene

“From Murnau’s Nosferatu and the American noir of the 1940s, to contemporary horror films and every piece of work where Tim Burton asks Johnny Depp to dab black around the actor’s eyes, the influence of Wiene’s film can be felt… it is the stuff of nightmares that still has power nearly a century after it was made.” —Travis Lytle

19. Spalovač mrtvol (The Cremator) (1968, Czechia) Directed by Juraj Herz

“I find it hard to fathom a film as stylish and mesmerizing as this is, 45 years old! It was obviously way ahead of its time! The cinematography is as captivating as the film is deliciously macabre!” —Juli Norwood

20. The Exorcist (1973, USA) Directed by William Friedkin

“The Exorcist remains one of the greatest achievements of the horror genre. The things they were able to accomplish with sound mixing at the time have yet to be outdone. The makeup department deserves a heap of credit, and the effects still look great. Acting is something that typically gets sacrificed in most horror movies, but this is one exception where every actor delivers a quality performance.” —Sean

21. Körkarlen (The Phantom Carriage) (1921, Sweden) Directed by Victor Sjöström

“It was not for nothing that Selma Lagerlöf became the first woman to get the Nobel Prize. She’s a great storyteller, and there’s a melody in her writings that is hard to not get sucked into… Victor Sjöström has really understood the tone of the novel and the music that comes with it is in tune with the melody of Lagerlöf's writings.” —Terése Flynn

22. Faust – Eine deutsche Volkssage (Faust) (1926, Germany) Directed by F. W. Murnau

“I watch this, and cannot fathom how this one man could make the cinematic medium look so relentlessly groundbreaking in its mere infancy. It’s obscene that he died so young… in a sense, Faust’s quest for the ur-truth becomes Murnau’s own quest for his own epic cinema: one that maximizes the potential for awe at every turn, leaving behind mundane methods for totalizing ones.” —Darkness Lingers

23. Shaun of the Dead (2004, UK) Directed by Edgar Wright

“I understand tossing Batman when your other options are [Prince’s] two biggest contributions to the world of music, but it still saddens me that Shaun and Ed so carelessly tossed away a truly undervalued record. Perhaps, we all do crazy things when we’re trying to survive.” —Willow Maclay

24. Young Frankenstein (1974, USA) Directed by Mel Brooks

“When Mel hits, he hits big… [he] may not employ nuance often, but he’s got broad comedy and wordplay down pat, and some of his best examples of this are in Young Frankenstein.” —Joe Campbell

25. What We Do in the Shadows (2014, New Zealand) Directed by Jemaine Clement and Taika Waititi

“An absolute must-watch for fans of horror comedy, horror, vampires, brilliant comedy in general, and great improvization. According to their IMDb trivia, Taika Waititi, Jemaine Clement and co. shot over 125 hours of improv for this film before finally whittling it down to 90 minutes of the best stuff.” —Voidember

Right. Now that that’s all done with, we are ready to go into town and party.

[dillydedalus]

what i read in march

several antigones & some other stuff

call me zebra, azareen van der vliet oloomi

oh boy. i really wanted to like this one, but uh. nah. so this book is about zebra, a young iranian-american from a lineage of ‘autodidacts, anarchists and atheists’, still traumatised by her childhood experience as a refugee (incl. her mother’s death on route). when her father dies years later, zebra decides to retrace the route of her exile thru barcelona, turkey, and back to iran. this sounds great! the beginning is good! but zebra is a quixotic figure (don quixote is unsubtly flagged as THE intertext several times), delusional about her own importance, obsessed with some kind of great literary mission and obnoxious & condescending & egotistic as all fuck (she looks down on students but treats her realisation that like, intertextuality is a thing, as this grand revelation when like..... we been knew since Lit. Theory 101) - and this is intentional & part of the quixotic thing & in general i approve of abrasive & bristly & difficult female characters BUT i expected there to be a gradual process of realisation where she sees that a) maybe her entirely male lineage of geniuses ain’t all that, c) her mission is uh.... incomprehensible. instead, once she reaches spain, she gets bogged down in endless pretentious bullshit and a #toxic relationship that takes up way too much space. knowing that all of that is likely intentional doesn’t.... make it good. also the writing is pretty overwrought for the most part & not even your narrator’s voice being Like That excuses plain bad writing, like the  absurd overuse of ‘intone’ and ‘pose’ as dialogue tags. i see the potential and i see the point & i liked some of it but uh. not good. 2/5, regretfully, generously

in the distance, hernan diaz

i don’t really go for westerns or man vs wilderness stories but damn i’m impressed. despite the violence & deprivation and sheer amount of gross shit, this story of a swedish immigrant getting lost in the american west for decades remains at its core so human, so tender, so sad (honestly this book is SO SAD, yet sometimes oddly hopeful), so evocative of isolation, loneliness, and the desire for human connection. 4/5

notes on a thesis, tiphaine rivière (tr. from french)

god, if i ever considered doing a phd i sure don’t anymore. this is a short graphic novel about a young woman’s descent into academic hell while writing her dissertation about labyrinths in kafka. it’s funny, the art is expressive and fanciful, and it is incredibly relateable if you’ve ever tried to actually write your brilliant, glorious, intricately constructed argument down, battled uni administration or had a panic attack over how to phrase a harmless email to a prof. Academia: Not Even Once. 3.5/5

red mars, kim stanley robinson

this is a very long hard sci-fi novel about mars colonisation & terraforming, discussing the ethics of terraforming, the potentials of a truly ‘martian’ culture, and how capitalism will inevitably fuck everything up, including outer space. all of this is up my alley and i did really like the first half (early colonisation efforts), but the 2nd half (beginning of terraforming, lots of politicking) was a slog - i liked reading about how terraforming was going, but the rest was just bloated, scattered and confusing. also there’s a tedious love triangle the whole time. 2/5

dragon keeper (rain wild chronicles #1), robin hobb

i love robin hobb she really can write a whole 500+ page book of set-up, characterisation and politicking and make it WORK. anyway, this has disabled dragons, a quest for mystical city, lots of rain wilds weirdness, a dragon scholar in an unhappy marriage, liveships, a sweet dummy romance, and uh... a lil penpalship between two messenger bird keepers? not much happens but it’s so NICE & so much is going to happen. also althea & brashen & malta turned up & i screamed. 3.5/5

season of migration to the north, tayeb salih (tr. from arabic)

this is a seminal work of post-colonial arabic literature, a haunting tale of the impact of colonialisation, especially of cultural hegemony in the education system, the disturbing dynamics of orientalism and sex, and village life in a modernising post-colonial sudan. it’s important, it’s well-written, it’ll make you think, but fair warning, there is a lot of violence against women - it has a point but still uh... wow. 3.5/5

dune, frank herbert

SOMETIMES.... BOOKS THAT ARE CONSIDERED MASTERWORKS OF THEIR GENRE.... ARE WORSE. so much worse. the writing in this is atrocious (”his voice was charged with unspeakable adjectives”), herbert somehow manages to make court intrigue and plotting UNBELIEVABLY DULL and sure, it was the 60s, but i’m p sure people knew imperialism was bad in the 60s! the main character, the eugenically-engineered chosen one or whatever, literally spends years among the oppressed & resisting natives of a planet ruled by a space!empire and at the end he’s like ‘i own this planet bc imperialism is Good Actually’. emotionally neglecting/abusing your wife, who you (!!!) decided (!!!) to marry for political reasons bc you’d rather marry your gf is also Good Actually (cosigned by the protag’s mother....) the worldbuilding is influential for the genre, sure w/e, but mainly notable for there just.... being a lot of it, the whole mythology-science makes No Goddamn Sense, all around this is just Bad. Bad. 0.5/5 i hope the Really Big Worms eat everyone 

dragon haven (rain wild chronicles #2), robin hobb

this healed my soul after toxic exposure to dune. anyway w/o spoilers: everyone is very much In Their Feelings (including me) and there’s a lot of Romance and Internal Conflict and Feelings Drama and Complicated Relationships and Group Dynamics and also dragons, which are really like very big, very haughty cats who can speak, and a flood and a living river barge with a mind of his own (love u tarman!). it’s still slow and languid but so so good. also: several people in this have to be told that People Are Gay, Steven, including Sedric, who is himself Gay People. 4/5

an unkindness of ghosts, solomon rivers

super interesting scifi story set on a generation ship with a radically stratified society in which the predominantly black lowerdeckers are oppressed and exploited by the predominantly white upperdeckers, mixed in with a lot of Gender Stuff (the lowerdeckers seem to have a much less stable and binary gender system than the upperdeckers) and neuroatypicality. it’s conceptually rich and full of potential, but just doesn’t quite stick the landing when it comes to the plot. 3/5

sanatorium under the sign of the hourglass, bruno schulz (tr. from polish)

more dreamy surreal short stories (ish?). i didn’t like this collection quite as much as the amazing street of crocodiles, but they are still really good, even tho you never quite know what is going on. featuring flights of birds, people turning into insects, thoughts about seasons and time, fireman pupae stuck in the chimney, and the continuing weird fixation on adela the maid. 3.5/5

angela merkel ist hitlers tocher, christian alt & christian schiffer

a fun & accessible guide to conspiracy theories, focusing on the current situation in germany and the current boom in conspiracy theories, but also including some historical notes. i wish it had been a bit less fun & flippant and more in-depth and detailed bc it really is quite shallow at points, but oh well. also yes the title does indeed translate to ‘angela merkel is hitler’s daughter’ so. yes. 2.5/5

the midwich cuckoos, john wyndham

fun lil scifi story in which almost all women in sleepy village midwich are suddenly pregnant, all at the same time. the resulting children, predictably, are strange, creepy, and possibly a threat to humanity. i get that it was written in the 50s but it is strange to read a book where almost all women, and only women, are affected by A Thing, but all the main characters are men & no one tells the women ‘hey we think it’s xenogenesis’ -  like realistically 80% of women affected went to the Neighbourhood Lady Who Takes Care of These Things like ‘hello, one (1) abortion please’ and the plot just ended there. i still liked it tho! 3/5

antigone project

antigone, the original bitch, by sophocles (tr. by fagles)

god antigone really is That Bitch. that’s all i have to say. 4.5/5

antigone, That Bitch but in french, jean anouilh

the Nazi-occupied france antigone. loved the meta commentary on what tragedy is and how antigone has to step into the Role of Antigone, which will kill her “but there’s nothing she can do. her name is antigone and she will have to play her part through to the end”. i didn’t really like (esp. given the ~historical context) the choice to make creon much more sympathetic, trying to save antigone’s life from the beginning. hmm. 3.5/5

antigonick, anne carson

look, antigone really is That Bitch and you know what? so is anne carson. best thing i’ve read so far this year, don’t ask me about it or i’ll yell the task of the translator of antigone at you. 5/5

home fire, kamila shamsie

honestly i really wanted to like this bc politically it’s on point and an anti-islamophobia antigone sounds amazing, but it just doesn’t succeed as a book/adaption. it spends way too much time in build-up/backstory (the play’s plot only starts in the second half of the book!), waaayyy to much time on the weirdly fetishistic antigone/haimon romance, and even the most interesting characters (ismene & creon) don’t fully work out. sad. 2/5

currently reading: the magic mountain by thomas mann, but i should be done in a week or so! also: the paper menagerie by ken liu, a collection of sff short stories

[saeaenity]

Taekook Fic Recommendation List

ESince I’ve been reading nothing but things related to taekook, I think i need to turn this guilty pleasure activity into something more productive. Productive may not be the best word to describe this but at least i tRied.

(*) : Recommended, (**) : Highly recommended, (***) : I kid you not, you’re missing out on a lot of things if you didn’t read it.

1. House of Cards by Sugamins | E | 394,890 | Gangsters!AU (***)

Jungkook is the heir to a mob empire, the most notorious in the whole of Seoul. Taehyung is a rookie sent in to infiltrate by his select team and bring the empire crumbling down.

"You knew the game and played it, it kills to know that you have been defeated."

note : This is honestly the best fic I’ve ever read and I’m not even exaggerating it. At first, I thought this fic was boring because it was a long read (man, 394,000 words? like, what the fuck?) . But turns out, it was the opposite. The character’s characterization was done in the most eloquent way possible. The plot and the way the author wrote the story gave me goosebumps. It took me 1 week to emotionally recover from this fic  (Heck, it’s been 4 months and I still haven’t fully recovered from this fic). Even tho it is said that it will not only describe the relationship between taehyung and jungkook but also jimin and jungkook, worry not because they’re still bearable. Also, watch this trailer.

2. Stop My Heart by Wowoashley | E | 106,781 | (***)

"What does it feel like?"

"What?"

"Knowing you fixed the heart of the man who broke yours?"

note : Ok this is actually my first taekook fic and then it got me infatuated by both BTS and taekook so I think y’all could imagine how good this fic is. The first thing I learned while reading this and some other fic(s) made by Wowoashley is how she/he was able to write the best smut scene. The scene(s) were filled with sexual tension and emotion that it got me shivering. Moreover, Jungkook is definitely a maknae on top. 

3. Cuz in a Sky Full of Stars (I think I Saw you) by Wowoashley | E | not completed, 64,071 | FakeRelationship!AU (***)

taehyung always has bad ideas. and jeongguk thinks this might be the best.

note : cute cute cute cute sin cute cute sin cute cute

4. Pick me up, buttercup by Vppa | G | 9,272 | Soulmates!AU (**)

AU where your soulmate's first words to you will be tattooed on your wrist when you meet.

Which freakin sucks, because Jungkook's forearm will now forever read "Hey baby, if you were a booger, I'd pick you first."

What the fuck, universe.

note : I don’t believe I was able to read a G-rated fic but I don’t regret my life decision because this is perfection.

5. Children’s Motrin by taetertot | G | 42,708 | not completed, College!AU (*)

When Jeongguk's parents die on his 18th birthday, he decides to take guardianship of his 3 year old brother, Jimin. One year later, he's slumped on a dirty grocery store tile floor with a 4 year old with glassy eyes and flushed cheeks. 13 dollars in his pocket will pay for his cheap bread and eggs, but it won't pay for cheap bread and eggs and $9.89 Motrin for his little brother's fever. And he's not going to let the boy who approached them with lavender hair and golden skin pay for it, no matter how sweet he is. 

note : This fic is full of fluff and for those of you who are thirsty, you might be able to mine some cheesy scene(s) from this fic. Cheesy in a good way. I don’t recommend you reading this fic If you don’t like kids tho.

6. Refrigerator Hmming, Chewing Gum and Instant Karma by Locks | E | 61,449 | Gangster!AU (**)

Taehyung sets the flowers down on the dining table, plucking the card off the little holder. "Dearest Taehyung, just wanted you to know that I'm thinking about you. I hope you're thinking about me too. Love--" he pauses and squints before cocking an eyebrow and pursing his lips. "Hyung, why is the boss of your little boy band gang professing his love for me?"

Yoongi drops the noodles on the floor with a loud curse as he burns his hand.

Or, Taehyung's been trying his hardest to avoid Yoongi's criminal life for a long ass time, but a cute kid and his infuriating father keep pulling him deeper into the mix.

note : After reading House of Cards  by Sugamins, it really put all other Mafia!AU/Gangster!AU fic to shame. Because nothing tops that. But I think this fic is good because the amount of sexual tension and the tense in general are enough.  And it’s not a horrible experience to read this after reading House of Cards. 

7. Cut Out All the Ropes (Let Me Fall) by  aeterisks | E | 76,763 | Fashion&Models!AU, Hate to Love relationship (***)

Being Korea's most successful model has been working pretty well for Taehyung. That is, until Jeon Jeongguk appears.

note : If you like fic(s) with ‘Hate to Love’ relationship, this is the best one i promies because I’m such a sLUT for ‘hate to love’ relationship.

8. Our Red Scarf (Keep Me Warm) by MirreRover | E | 42,212 | College!AU (***)

Jeongguk is trouble. Taehyung likes trouble a bit more than he probably should.

Just don't tell Jimin about it.

note : The angst got me crying like a bitj but it’s so fluff and full of sin at the same time. I love this.

9. Maybe We Found Love (Right Where We Are) by  Wowoashley | E | 29,477 | College!AU (**)

maybe they're a little bit ridiculous, but people always did fall in love in the strangest ways. 

note : Wowoashley is back again with its slayin’ fanfiction. The suspense between Taehyung and Jungkook is both satifying and adorable. Tahyung is a fan and Jungkook is an idol but they somehow have a Hate to Love relationship, which I am a slut for.

10. Take Me Home (Take It Slow) by  Buttstrife | E | 76,235 | CanonDivergence!AU (**)

Jungkook is an idol and Taehyung is his chaebol sponsor.

note : This is so cute and even though it could move in a fast pace, this fic is progressing in a slow pace. This is a good fanfiction to understand the correlation between artist and sponsors in the K-pop Industry.

11. Hercules by  GinForInk | E | 11,593 | (***)

Taehyung forgets his strength kink until Jungkook picks him up during a group project meeting.

note : Fukc the smut was so good and fluffy. I never knew I’d love Jungkook manhandling Taehyung this much. Kind of a short and quick one but satisfying.

12. Get Me Out Of My Mind (Get You Out Of Those Clothes) by  taekookmusings | E |15,797 | College!AU (**) 

Taehyung never thought he'd fall in love with his roommate. Then again, he never thought his roommate would have been a literal gift from god either.

note : I love jealous Taehyung omg and this is so fluffffff (but also full of sin). A slow-built relationship? Idk it’s somehow in between.

13. Kiss Me Hard Before You Go by  Mindheist | E | 20,271 | FakeDating!AU (***)

Dramatization. Do not try at home.

note : Taehyung and Jungkook confused with what the hell is going on between them will always be my fav. Angst is pretty real and Vmin’s friendship is soo sweet, as always. So fluffy I don’t even know whether I still have my own heart because it’s been screaming “CUTE” all over again. Moreover, I’m also a slut for FakeDating!AU so yeah.

14. Rich Bitch by  Mindheist | E | 28,654 | Melodrama!AU (**)

  When you make six figures a year, Valentino isn’t that big of a deal.

note : It’s cute. They’re cute. Though the part where Jungkook is a millionaire since he was so smol got my jaw wide-opened. Kind of unrealistic but I still love the way it was written, as expected from mindheist. ANGSTY gosh.

15. Serve and Protect by Neptune_scar | E | 43,043 | Police!AU (*)

After a grueling two years of police university training, Kim Taehyung is excited to join the ranks of Seoul Metropolitan Police Agency's new recruits. But getting partnered up with senior police officer, Jeon Jungkook, just might be his biggest challenge yet.

note : At some point, I was quite confused with Jungkook’s characterization because it always shifts from this to that Jungkook or from that to this Jungkook. I’m not even kidding, I was waiting for the smut part but there was none? Idk why it is labelled as Explicit though. 

16. Keep the Water Warm by Sassyneki | E | 59,884 | College!AU (***)

“Get the fuck out of this room, Kim Taehyung.”

The last thing Taehyung expected this summer was to meet his new family, but as with all things, he's willing to give it a shot. He's willing to try. Too bad his new stepbrother doesn't feel the same way. 

note : I love this soo much. It’s cute and full of sin but at the same time it’s also angsty and confusing. Kind of confused with the denouement but that’s FINe because the work itself is a masterpiece.

17.  Pour Up (Drank) by  Mindheist | E | 41,770 | College!AU (**)

If you can read this, take another shot.

note : I love greek system in College!AU since I live in a country where greek system is non-existent. It is such a shame because they’re interesting. This fic is interesting but I’m not down for the romantic part.

18. Then there's the landing by  Sharleena | E | IceSkating!AU (**)

“The thing about Figure Skating is that it’s the most brutal sport disguised as something incredibly beautiful to look at, something elegant and frail. Just like Kim Taehyung.

note : Amazing fic is all I have to say because the sexual tension is just, whoa.

[kennedyisms]

hey guys!! i’m taylor, eighteen, anD I’M SO EXCITED FOR THIS RP!! this is my baby angelina aka the worst human being™. i have a lil bit of info/wanted connections below!! if ur down to ploT nd wanna scream abt connections eitHER LIKE THIS OR HIT ME UP IN THE DMS AND WE’LL FUCKING DO IT??? honestly idek if this makes sense if u nEED clarification PLEASE LET ME KNOW

BACKSTORY

so baby angelina was born into a huge family okay filled w lots of power and $$$. she was the middle child in a family w five kids so she wasn’t anything special in that regard i suppose?? both her parents were in the entertainment industry(her mom a model and her dad a director) so they had lots on their plate already and their children just seemed to get lost in the mix. they had a super shitty marriage on top of that like they had kids to try and ignite the spark again and it just didnt work??? their kids were given anything they wanted although and if they needed any sort of connection they basically had it w one phone call but like due to this sort of neglect/watching such a shitty relationship angelina became a lil bit cold/mean/bitter?? not as bad as she is now but on top of that she became v dependent on what other people though of her/how many people wanted her to be around/ect so she became this lil baby doll basically who was friends w everyone and would sit on their lap and throw parties and was just a bit of a mess because lowkey shes mad at the worlD FOR BASICALLY NO REASON WHATSOEVER??? basically she had a v silent/destructive household which resulted in her being this piece of trash 

getting into hollywood was also rlly bad for her because she met people who like introduced her to the grimy side of la and she became obsessed and it only deepened this siren facade of hers??? 

PERSONALITY

so i gave angelina the label the siren!! basically what it means is that she looks angelic and shit on the outside but in reality? she’s trash on the inside. imma just bullet point this shit cause im lazy asf :)))

sO basically what this means is that to the public eye shes this lil sweet angel who loves everyone and does nothing but sing harmonies and create peace?? but behind the scenes she the worse. there’s probably been a few rumours about how terrible she is but like nobody believes it??? obviously except the people who r in hollywood/la or like have seen the manipulative side to her cause i’d imagine not everyone has. she doesnt usually have a motive either?? like its just random like. hey that person looks happy. ruin their day now. AND IF THEY EVER ASK HER ABT IT SHE’D BE LIKE?? R U LYING OR

she is v easily angered tho like she will throw a tantrum if she doesnt get her way(probably where the rumours were sparked)

if she cares about u she cares DEEP okay and wont fuck u over but like if yall aint 100% solid be careful

she’s pretty confident in herself but she basically amplifies it 2394290382x. thinks shes the stars, sun, and moon.

will use people for her advantage 

acts sickly sweet to get her away??? the worst

literally opens up to people 0.3% of the time

honestly im still kinda figuring her out but i hope u get my idEa shes like a devil in disguise?? will torture if it means she comes out on top

FUN FACTS

she honestly probably changed her name to angelina so everybody would call her angel?? im JUST KIDDING BUT LIKE THATS HER VIBE YA FEEL

looks at herself in the mirror and thinks “how am i gonna ruin someone today?”

loves 2 break hearts!!! SHES ALWAYS THE FIRST TO RUN

has def had a few sugar daddies

def has at least 20 silk robes w the fur(fake of course smh)

100% a tease. will whisper in ANYONES ear and sit on their lap n shit then skip off like??? what r u talking abt that never happened

will not miss a social event even if it kills her

basically wears only red and baby pink? u won’t catch her in anything else

she just out here pretending shes having fun ok

I DONT THINK THIS MADE SENSE BUT WHA T EVER IM SO SORRY

WANTED CONNECTIONS

sugar daddy mayhaps??

fwb

best friend

drinking buddy/drug buddy

best friends who drifted apart/became enemies

somebody who knows her secret???

somebody who knows how awful she is but like tries to be a good influence

childhood bff

somebody who like truly, truly, truly broke her heart??? turned her evEN colder please

i would love a girl squad please!!!!!

pr relationship???

friends who ruin lives together

family friends

partner in crime/ride or die

bad influence

pr friendships??

frenemies

exes

somebody who she is SUPER soft for yknow like she has best friends and shit but like this person is her #1 would never do anything to hurt them literally WOULD take a bullet

old flame