#if it’s your favourite that’s cool it has enjoyable parts

[deadwardianpoltergeist]

being a tmnt fan is rough because as if the fans all being at each other’s throats about which version is better I have to deal with how painfully racist 1987(and even bayverse and smaller parts of a lot of the versions) is and the fucking INCEST and wattpad-y writing in 2012 tmnt

at least tmnt 2003 is pretty agreeable like it’s funny how one of the most progressive versions is 20 years old and everything else has kind of been a train wreck

[paintingwhiteceilings]

❃Seventeen and spotting their S/O during a concert❃

A/N: sooo like a lot of you I will be going to Lollapalooza in Berlin in September to see Seventeen. I am very excited to get the chance to see them live after having been a carat for such an incredibly long time. Anyway, hopefully, I will see some of you there! Let’s have a great time together and be extra loud for the boys!

To celebrate Seventeen’s acknowledgement of the European continent, here is a small prompt about them spotting their S/O during their concert. This prompt might be a little short as I am slowly getting back into writing and creating 13 different reactions takes a lot of time so bear with me as I find my footing again!

 Scoups/Seungcheol:

❀ Coups will be all smiles the moment he spots you in the crowd. You had kept it secret from him that you would be attending, and now it finally makes sense to him why you had been so weird when he asked you what you were going to be doing tonight whilst he was gone.

❀ He tries not to draw too much attention to you being there, not wanting to make you uncomfortable. However, he is having a difficult time not glancing in your direction and subconsciously wanders near to where you are sitting whenever they are not dancing.

❀ The moment he sees you are cold, he makes sure to hand over his hoodie to you. For good measure, he donates his bucket hat as well; what if your ears get cold? You know what, he is going to ask the staff to hand you some hot packs, just in case.

❀ He goes hard on the sexy parts of the songs, giving it his all. He wants to impress you; you better bring some holy water.

Jeonghan

❀ At first, you might assume that Jeonghan is completely unaware that you are in the crowd, watching him perform. There is nothing to indicate that he has noticed you as he continues to perform as he normally would, cool on the outside.

❀ However, in actuality, Jeonghan spotted you almost immediately and is absolutely thrilled to see you; he is just more subtle with it than some of the other members. Throughout the concert, he tries to communicate his excitement mainly through small gestures, only noticeable to those who know him well. For instance, he will walk past your spot, giving you a cheeky wink or be a bit more energetic with the members.  

❀ He also starts teasing you by making obscure inside jokes and references to funny stories during talking segments, subtly mentioning some of your embarrassing moments he witnessed.

❀ He will try to convince Seungkwan to force you to sing the Aju Nice high note for his own enjoyment, laughing when you fail.

Joshua

❀ Joshua always felt apprehensive about inviting you to his concerts, not because he didn't want you there but because he didn't want to pressure you into attending. So when you decide to surprise him by attending without telling him, he turns all mushy.

❀ He sends you small, soft smiles throughout the concert. The smiling doesn’t cease during the performances either; Joshua keeps smiling even during songs where smiling doesn't really fit the concept, as he is supposed to be all sexy and mysterious.

❀ During the vocal ballads, he seeks you out in the crowd again. Throughout the song, he makes eye contact with you, expressing his love for you through the lyrics of the song.

❀ When he is asked to sing a song he recently has been listening to during one of the talking segments, he will make sure to sing a snippet of your favourite song.  

Jun

❀ Jun is so focused during the concert that he doesn't initially notice you in the crowd. The other members have to point it out to him; Seungkwan gently nudges him during one of the talking segments, bringing your presence to his awareness.

❀ Rather than getting smiley or more energetic, Jun, instead, gets a bit shy when he makes eye contact with you. He suddenly regrets all the weird stuff his members made him do during the talking segments of the concert.

❀ Once he eases up, though, his happiness at seeing you outweighs his shyness. The members notice he is extra energized during the concert, continuously bouncing around the stage during the Aju Nice encore.

❀ Somewhere during the concert, DK and Hoshi convince him to wave in your direction. Thus, you get the cutest, most bashful tiny wave, followed by him hiding behind a laughing Mingyu.

Hoshi/Soonyoung

❀ Okay, where the other members would probably keep their relationships private for as long as possible, Hoshi probably would not be able to keep your relationship secret for long. This man is the king of spoilers, and if fans weren't aware of him being in a relationship before the concert, they for sure know about it after.

❀ He is another member who initially doesn't notice that you are there until another member points it out. Woozi didn't even intend to bring it to Hoshi's awareness; he had merely noted that you had seemed to enjoy their performance of Hot, making Hoshi realize you had been there all along.

❀ His energy explodes the moment he spots you in the crowd. Everything is cranked to the max; he is performing at 200% and is running across the stage as if his life depends on it. Hoshi wants to make you laugh, regularly checking whether his unhinged joke or skit landed by glancing in your direction.

❀ Throughout the concert, he sends exaggerated gestures your way. He continuously is horanghae-ing in your direction and blowing kisses, not bothered in the slightest that technically he should be keeping your relationship on the down low.

Wonwoo

❀ Chances are that this man is too blind to spot you in the crowd. Wonwoo has admitted that he never wears contact lenses on stage and, thus, cannot see anything or anyone in front of him. Consequently, if it hadn't been for Mingyu pointing you out to him, Wonwoo would never have known you had attended the concert.

❀ As a result, he momentarily puts in contact lenses just so that he can see your smile. However, rather than feeling energized by your presence, he is another member who gets painfully shy upon spotting you.

❀ Whenever his eyes meet yours, he freezes for a second, giving you a tiny smile and the tiniest nod before quickly looking away. He has been having trouble focusing on anything but you; his eyes keep seeking you out whenever they have a talking segment, not listening to a single word his members are saying.

❀ Wonwoo, at some point, seriously considers removing his contact lenses, especially when Mingyu notices why his friend is getting so flustered and distracted, teasing him about it.

Woozi/Jihoon

❀ Woozi has the best poker face, for the most part. Although you can tell by the small smile that graces his face throughout the performances that he has noticed you, he mostly seems unaffected by your presence.

❀ The other members, however, do not let him get off all that easily. Throughout the concert, they tease him, bringing up inside jokes between the two of you or teasingly commending him on his well-written romantic lyrics. His lyrics are so ingenious, wherever did he get the inspiration from?

❀ Due to all the teasing comments about him being a romantic guy and making romantic songs, he gets a bit shy when singing his ballads. Most of his love songs were written about you, and he can't help but avoid your gaze as he feels the burning, knowing stares of his fellow vocal unit members. Woozi feels a bit too embarrassed at saying his poetic love confessions out loud in such a public space.

❀ Still, his shyness does not keep him from wandering to the area where you are sitting, checking whether you are having a good time and ensuring that you know he appreciates you attending the concert by giving you a small smile and wave.

DK/Seokmin

❀ DK is so oblivious to you being there; it isn't that he hasn't seen you, but he hasn't noticed it is actually you. He even pointed you out to Minghao, remarking that he had found your body double. Of course, Minghao scolded him for not being able to recognize his own partner.

❀ When it finally dawns on him that you took the time to attend their concert, he starts to tear up. One of his speeches leaves you sobbing, too. DK is so incredibly sincere, tearfully thanking everyone who has come to support him and remarking that without their encouragements, he wouldn’t have been able to perform as well as he did. Although he is deliberately keeping his speech vague, you know he is talking about you.

❀ Nevertheless, DK is not the most subtle about his excitement about you being there. He will regularly enthusiastically wave in your direction. Ultimately, Coups has to step in as it is becoming rather suspicious that DK seems to continuously be playfully interacting with only a select group of Carats. From then on, DK has to follow a simple rule: one interaction with you equals two waves to Carats on the other side of the stadium.

❀ As he wants to commemorate the first time you attended his concert, he will save a piece of confetti for you as a memento.

Mingyu

❀ Mingyu has been begging you for ages to attend one of his concerts. Unfortunately, your schedule never lined up with the concert dates; even worse, you couldn't cancel your already-made plans, much to your shared disappointment. Thus, when the stars aligned and you finally had the time to go, Mingyu was absolutely over the moon.

❀ Mingyu is noticeably more energetic and giggly throughout the concert. He keeps glancing in your direction, breaking out in a massive smile whenever your eyes meet. Whenever he is able to walk around the stage, he ends up in front of you, giving you a pout when he notices you watching another member. Poor Coups has a field day reminding Mingyu not to make his affection for you so apparent to the fans.

❀ He is on a whole different level during the sexy songs; his shirt accidentally keeps getting drenched, and an overenthusiastic DK keeps trying to lift it 'just because', knowing you would appreciate it.

❀ Mingyu has told every single member that you are there, at least twice. They have tried to hush him, but in his excitement, he keeps nudging them and pointing over at you. He is lucky the microphones haven’t picked up his yapping.

The8/Minghao

❀ He knew you were coming to the concert and had been trying to dissuade you from doing so. It simply didn't make sense to him why you wanted to attend. Why waste that much money on tickets when he could invite you to the dance practices or give you a mini concert at home for free?

❀ On the inside, he is incredibly happy that you chose to attend the concert. Minghao briefly mentions it in passing to Jun, unable to hide the soft smile that keeps appearing whenever he does as much as think about you being there.

❀ He is very giggly throughout the concert. To both Carats' and Seventeen's surprise, Minghao keeps laughing at Hoshi's unhinged jokes, even forgetting about his anti-horanghae agenda.

❀ Fans keep thinking he meditated that day because he somehow is very patient with his members' crazy and embarrassing behaviour. In reality, he is too distracted looking at you to actively notice half of the stuff his members are pulling during the talking segments of the concert.

❀ Minghao absolutely refuses to join in on their idiocy, however. He does not want to do anything embarrassing in front of you, even if it would make you laugh.

Seungkwan

❀ It is noticeable to everyone around him that he is so incredibly happy that you were able to attend his concert. Mind you, you have attended his concerts before, but every time you do, Seungkwan treats it like it is the first time you are watching him perform. He has brought it up to every single staff member, excitedly telling them this is going to be the best concert yet because you are there to support him.

❀ He is pulling more shenanigans than usual. His sole goal during the concert is to make you laugh until you cry, and thus, he has pulled out all the stops, imitating every celebrity under the sun. Their concert almost feels like a Going Seventeen episode with Seungkwan as the MC.

❀ During the concert, Seungkwan is flaunting his dance and singing skills. He is adding a riff here and there and putting even more emotion behind the words he is singing. If possible, he will convince the members to let him have his Sexy Seungkwan moment.

❀ At some point during the concert, he will 100% go up to you, just to make you do something crazy. I hope you practised your Aju Nice high note and warmed up for your dance solo.

Vernon

❀ Vernon keeps quiet about you being at the concert; he spotted you almost immediately but will not mention it to any of the members. Seungkwan is downright offended when Vernon mentions it after the concert has ended, scolding him that he should have told them you were there. Vernon wants you to enjoy the concert without all the stuff he knows the members would pull once they realize you are in attendance.

❀ During the concert, you feel like you are on The Office. Whenever one of the members does something stupid or embarrassing, Vernon will make direct eye contact with you, pulling a meme face to silently communicate his tortured feelings at having to witness it.  

❀ Vernon isn't one to go over to your area and give you a wave or a smile, wanting you to enjoy a normal concert-going experience. At most, he will briefly meet your eyes during a meaningful line.

❀ He is not paying any attention to his members during talking segments, zoning out to blatantly stare at you. When they scold him backstage, he 1000% uses you as his excuse.

Dino/Chan

❀ You hadn't told Dino that you would be attending their upcoming concert, mostly because you knew that if you did, his perfectionism would get the better of him. Dino would practice deep into the night, wanting to give you the best performance imaginable, and, thus, not telling him, was your way of preventing your boyfriend from overworking himself.

❀ Still, the moment he notices you in the crowd, he goes on a mission to prove himself. Gone is the cute maknae; he has cranked up his stage presence to 5000% and will not accept a single mistake.

❀ Throughout the concert, Dino keeps glancing in your direction to gauge your reaction whenever he has executed a difficult or sexy dance move.

❀ Although he loves making you laugh, Dino feels torn between making a fool out of himself or being the cool, sexy guy. Still, after some encouragement from his members, he will join them in their skits, bringing out his famous characters. Seeing your laughter at his ridiculousness boosts his confidence tenfold.

❀ Despite his members' pushiness, he is way too shy to actually go over to where you are sitting or wave at you. Instead, he jealously stares at you from afar as the other members interact with you.

Masterlist

[littlemissferret]

CHRONICLES OF HOUSECATS [ part 1 , part 2 ]

sypnosis: you finally manage an uninterrupted date with isagi

no prns used (reader). established relationship with (loser bf) isagi. 2.2k wc. cw: nothing(?). made them a lot tamer for this (less chaos). kaiser & ness still cats ofc.

Do you remember the feeling of awkward cringe, when you watch third-rate actors on screen put on an act so atrociously bad? The kind of feeling that forces your skin to crawl- a chill sent down your spine while simultaneously warm blood rushes to your face from second hand embarrassment?

“MEOWWWW MRREOWWWWWWWWW”

Yeah, you’re feeling a whole hell of that right now. God, he’s so embarrassing…

You pinch the bridge of your nose, breathing in much needed fresh air to cool down the horrendous headache your darling housecats are causing you right now.

“Enough, Mihya. I told you to save your little theatrics for the talent shows.” You lift up the blue cat carrier to chastise him.

Michael bats his eyes, staring up at you with the eyes of a pitiful, heartbroken widow.

“You’re not fooling anyone with that,” You deadpan at his attempt to win you over. “C’mon, it’s just a spa. You love getting pampered, don’t you? Well, they’re gonna give you lotsss of love and attention there.”

He furthers his meowing and whining at you, pretending he didn’t hear allat. Determined to not drop his act anytime soon.

Isagi walks next to you, this sweet boy has been trying to hold your hands when you were busy arguing with your rebellious cat.

He finally manages to grab onto your hand, a smile blossoming onto his face as he internally celebrates his success.

“Um, will it really be okay for us to just leave them at the spa?” He eyes the magenta cat carrier in his other hand. “I mean, we can do this another time.. It’s not that much of a hassle, really.”

You intertwine your fingers with his, and start swinging your held hands. “It’s fine. Really!” You turn to him with a smile, “I bring them to the spa every two to three months anyway. Mihya usually loves it! He’s just being whiny for attention right now.”

Ignoring the blond cat’s yowls of protests, you continue, “Besides, I’m looking forward to this date with you-” You glance down at the blue carrier, “-without them interrupting this time.”

On your previous romantic dates with Isagi, the two cats had stalked and caught up with you both. Causing a scene every single time, thanks to Michael’s dramatics and Alexis’ surprising animosity towards your sweet boyfriend.

You swear Alexis is usually a good, well-mannered kitty. He never had any problems with strangers. Maybe he just doesn’t like Yoichi’s smell? You oughta talk to him about showing up right after practice in his stinky sweat drenched jersey.

You hum, stepping into the doors of ‘Magic Whiskers Pet Spa & Hotel’. The bell chimes, alerting the workers and other pets in the building of your arrival.

It doesn’t take long until the old manager walks up to greet you. “Hello there, dearie! Michael and Alexis back for their appointment?”

“Hi, gramps. And yeah, the usual, thank you.” Placing the cat carriers onto the counter, you open the locks for them.

Michael huffs, strutting out and stretching his legs, then immediately basks in the old man’s praises at his big boy stretch.

Little bastard giving you the silent treatment.

Alexis walks up to you the moment he’s let out of the cage. Purring as he rubs his head at your waist. Finally, he thinks. Normally he’s comfortable with his carrier but god when Isagi is the one handling him does it make the experience a hundred times less enjoyable.

Oh well, at least he’s in his second favourite place now. Being in the magic themed store slash spa makes him the happiest feline alive.

Great memories were created here in this magical place, after all.

“Good boy, ‘Lexis. You watch over Michael for me, yeah? He’s being a petty prick.” You whisper to the cat. “I’ll stock up on your favourite kibbles when I come back later.”

You scratch at the spot behind his little flicky ears, sinking in his purrs as you stare at Michael’s overgrown blond fur.

“Hmm. You know what, old man? I think you can try something new with them this time.”

The cats stare up at you curiously and the manager only gives you a warm smile.

“I thought you’d never ask. Leave them to me!”

—

“Ahh, some peace and quiet..” You sigh in bliss as you hook your arm with Isagi. You’re both now walking leisurely on the sidewalk. “Soo, what’s the plan, Yoichi?”

Isagi blushes when you turn to look at him, “Ah, right.” He fumbles with his jacket, “Well, I didn’t plan an itinerary or anything. But..”

He lists off the places you both can visit together, rambling off. Occasionally stuttering and tripping over his own feet.

You admire his side profile as he continues his meandering. He’s such a cutie, still so awkward and shy this far into the relationship.

You wonder if you’d get to more sides of him as you both continue to spend more time together.

“-so i think it’s really worth a visit too. You wanna go?”

His dorky smile paired with a soft blush on the apple of his cheeks. How could anyone say no to that?

You’d go anywhere this man brings you to.

“Sure. Anything for you, pretty boy.”

—

The faint smell of clay envelopes the both of you as you step foot into the pottery studio.

“Hello, we booked a session under the name Isagi Yoichi.” You glance around the cozy studio, admiring the array of works displayed. The muted colours of each piece of art blend well in the modernly designed room, adding a spark of personality to the mundane aesthetic.

“Yes, of course. Over here, please.” The receptionist brings you two to your designated workshop.

You place a thumb to your chin as you stare at the unpainted pottery in front of you. You never really had any plans to paint on some clay. Now that you think about it, you jumped at any idea Isagi had suggested- and pottery painting just happened to sound the most romantic to your dear Yoichi right now.

Oh, well. Now that you’re here with him, might as well show-off whatever amount of talent you have for painting.

Yoichi’s hand finds yours, before he quickly releases it to wipe off the sweat that has collected onto his palm.

“Sorry! I- It’s too hot in here, aha..”

Help this poor guy. So many dates into the relationship and he can hardly tell if you’re as excited as he is. Is your heart beating as quick as his right now? Do you feel the immense urge to hold him the same way he wants to hold you?

You choose to reach out for him, intertwining your fingers with his.

“Are you nervous about pottery painting? I’m sure you’ll do great, ‘Ichi.”

Ah, that’s not.. Yoichi sweatdrops. You have trouble reading him too, it seems. At least now he feels better about being unable to read you.

A talent to be reckoned with, really. How you both have been with each other for years and still stuck in the awkward guessing stage whenever you go out together.

But weakass communication skills aside...

Uh oh. What if you think of him as a loser, one that is jittery at the notion of.. painting?

No way! He’ll save this, he thinks. Right, he was good at arts and crafts back when he was in school. He can woo you with his crazy painting skills!

With newfound confidence, Isagi picks up an unpainted mug. A blank canvas- for him to turn into one of his creative works, and sweep you off your feet. He picks up a brush, brainstorming ideas of what he can paint onto the mug.

You browse the options, settling on matching mugs with Yoichi’s. Sitting by his side, you dip your brush into the paint of your choice, and start to draw strokes of what you have in mind onto the delicate surface of the mug.

“Has your season come to an end? You’ve been more free lately,” You ask, just to start a conversation. “As in, you’ve been coming over a lot more.”

Isagi’s mouth forms an ‘o’, “Right. Yeah, it's my off-season right now.” He pauses to think, “I’ll be free until next month, I guess.”

You hum at his answer, “You still practice a lot, even on your holidays.”

“Ah, well. That’s just..” He blushes, feeling a bit shy that you’ve noticed his passionate attitude towards football.

“You don’t have to explain yourself,” You laugh at his embarrassment, “You love football. That much I know of.”

Isagi feels his heart flutter at that. God, you remind him of how much he loves you every time without fail. Doing so much to him while you haven’t even started on pampering him with kisses and sweet words.

He swears you’re perfect- just for him. You fit perfectly, providing all kinds of comfort and support that he never knew he needed. All on your own accord.

You love, care and recognize his dreams. What more could a man ask for?

The world's best lover for the world's best striker. (an overkill but he's delulu like that)

He swallows hard, wanting to let all the bottled up giddy feelings burst out and embrace you. He wants to make sure you know how much he loves and appreciates you.

Maybe he’s not the best with words. The peak of his creativity with verbal finesse is really just spitting flame on the field- something that he secretly hopes you’ll never get to witness.

Most he can do now is to paint what he loves the most- you, and his football of course, onto the mug.

With each delicate stroke of his brush, he carefully fills in the colours with love. Painting a simplified version of your general features, he then adds the football next to you. Ending the piece by tracing a giant frame of heart around both you and the ball.

He checks his work, scanning for any small mistakes then carefully writes ‘World’s #1 Striker’ onto the free space next to his painting.

He smirks proudly at that.

You send him a side-eye then chuckle at his satisfied look, touching up on the details and colours of your own piece of art.

Seems like you both share very similar sentiments in your paintings. You opt to paint what you love the most- your cats, with your lovely boyfriend in between.

Instead of acting up on your ego like him, though, you settled on painting mini hearts to fill out the free space.

Give it a week, and your mugs will be delivered back to you. The previously plain ceramics painted over with a sheen of love, reflecting the experience you both created and the bond you’ve both strengthened over the date.

—

“Meow”

Alexis runs up to you the moment you enter the door. Eagerly pawing up at your legs.

You notice his faded magenta is re-dyed, and his usual pressed down fur is now more fluffed up. The natural caramel brown is now more contrasting with the bright magenta.

“Hi, ‘Lexis. Did you have a good time?” You pick him up and start to kiss him all over his now very soft and fluffy fur. “I missed you too, baby. You look so pretty. Do you feel pretty?”

The now fluffier (re-dyed) magenta cat basks in your attention, lapping his tongue at your chin while purring happily.

The old man walks up to you with Michael strutting along next to him.

“I’ve given this one a whole makeover,” He muses, “Alexis was the one who chose that colour for him.”

Michael glances up at you proudly with his pretty blue eyes- now matching with the new dye he wears on his blond fur: on the top of his ears and the ends of his tail. His fur is noticeably shorter, and a little choppy around his head, framing his usual fluffy face.

It makes him look so silly, to be honest. But he’s so satisfied with it, you decide to not comment on the choppy part.

You do, however, comment on his new dye job.

“What a beautiful shade of blue,” You coo at him, giving into his attempt at flaunting for compliments. “Look at you, my little emperor. So royal.” His fluffy tail stands up high, and wags in approval.

Returning your attention to the old manager, you teasingly ask, “Were they on their best behaviour, old man?”

He chuckles and nods at the two cats now staring at him, “Yup. They’re good alright. I’d say they deserve some new toys and some premium kibbles.”

You smile, satisfied hearing his response. “Well, I did promise to restock Alexis’ favourite kibble.” You pick Michael up along with Alexis, then place them on the seat of a trolley nearby.

Turning to your idle boyfriend (who has been nervously eyeing a certain magenta cat), you ask, “Could you help me get the premium kibbles, ‘Ichi? I’ll bring these two around for them to pick their new toys.”

Isagi smiles crookedly, “Sure, honey.” He tries to shrug off the way the blond cat is narrowing his eyes at him, but mostly at the ominous smile the magenta one is sending him. “Take your time.”

He’ll just have to find a way to counter the two jealous kitties soon.

© littlemissferret 2024 ✦ do not repost, translate or modify .

a barking cat video made me write allat

- im ngl i feel kinda shy writing lovey dovey romance, u can tell its really stiff - probably will resort back to chaos dumping or maybe will try to put myself out there

[the-possum-writes]

You may have gotten a request like this already so please ignore it if you have!

I really enjoy your works so far and I'd like to request the nsfw alphabet with Marshall Lee if that's something you'd like to do! Gender neutral or afab anatomy if that's okay but I really don't mind if you keep it fully gender neutral!

I hope this request finds you well and happy! Thank you for your time to read this ask and for sharing your work, it's very enjoyable to read! (It also helps that I adore possums hehe)

[Marshall Lee NS/FW Alphabet]

Tags: NS/FW, mentions of voyeurism, hcs, dirty alphabet

A/n: Thanks for requesting! Ya'll eating good tonight-! This is for the AT version of Marshall, the F&C Marshall would probs have some differences without the whole vampire thing.

A = Aftercare

Marshall doesn't need sleep so he'll help you clean up asap and lay in bed with you so his low body temperature can help ya cool off, he would also sing you to sleep in compensation if he went too rough on you.

B = Body part

Regarding his partner's, he's fond of your chest. He doesn't breathe so he likes seeing it rise and fall whenever you're panting, and enjoys listening  to your heartbeat during cuddle sessions.

As for his body, he likes every aspect of it but if he had to choose it would probably be his eyes. They're the first thing someone sees when he's lurking in the dark.

C= Cum

Slick like glue, and lacks any kind of odor or taste (I guess it's because he's a supernatural creature). He doesn't produce an exaggerated amount of cum in a single shot but he's determined enough to fill you up until it's sliding down your thigh, no matter how many rounds it takes.

D= Dirty Secret

Marshall snuck into your house once cause he wanted to gonna prank you by hiding your toothbrush and other stuff but he accidentally floated in on you in a private time and didn't leave until you finished. Nowadays he knocks before visiting you, but there are times where he touched himself to that memory.

E= Experience

Marshall has been around for thousand years, he knows his likes and dislikes regarding stuff done to him, and what he likes in a partner. He's confident in his performance as well, he has skill and learns fast, he knows that he'll find and exploit your weak points that'll have you sobbing in a good way.

F= Favourite Position

The dude can fly, he likes having you cowgirl (or reverse cowgirl) style while on mid air even though you've told him how dangerous it is.

G= Goofy

Though he gets heavily feral most of the time Marshall is a versatile man who can still crack a laugh even at the most heated times, if he's feeling playful and is on a full teasing rampage he'd use wordplay/puns that depend on the location you two are at.

H= Hair

Marshall is well trimmed but not fully shaved, his pubes are just as dark and wavy as his hair. However, sometimes he'd occasionally try to do funny patterns and would walk out of the bathroom bare ass naked and ask. "Does this look like a bat to you?"

I= Intimacy

Okay so we all know Marshall portrays himself as the residential bad boy and everyone buys it, but in reality he keeps his relationships at an arms length since he's lost people close to him. The guy craves intimacy and it's evident in the small affectionate gestures during sex like how he intertwineds his fingers in your hands, and after sex, he's got his legs tangled in yours, plays with your hair and rests his head on your beating chest.

J= Jack Off

In the early years of vampire hunting he couldn't allow himself a single moment of vulnerability even if his hormones were getting the best of him, but in current times in Aaa where he isn't always on guard he wanks it on occasion here and there when he's lacking company. Once he starts dating you he can't help but stoke himself in front of you when you touch yourself for him.

K= Kink

Pray/Predator play:

He loves playing the part so much. On a full moon he will give you a 10 minute headstart to let you run loose through the woods in that white transparent nightgown he likes so much (fits your role as the helpless victim) as he shape shifts into a wolf or a giant bat and hunts you down by the scent of your arousal alone.

Size difference:

Okay hear me out on this- The guy can shape shift, it would be impossible that he wouldn't develop a knack out of it (especially with the prey/predator thing) when he's near you. He gets a thrill out of it when he's in his bat form, slowly diving you down on his shaft until your thighs come in contact with his fur.

Blood kink:

At first he wasn't interested since he had enough fighting those bloodsuckers (and because it's an obvious thing for him to have). So everyday he fought the blood kink allegations but after years of denying it, its become a new curiosity. He doesn't need to drink the stuff to survive but there's something euphoric about yours that tastes better than any shade of crimson, he'd avoid your neck the first few times but would obtain it from you inner thigh, it's like biting into a lovely jelly donut.

Voyeurism:

It's rude to spy on others but Marshall is well known to watch over others regardless if they're aware of it or not, you'd learn it the hard way when he caught sight of you touching yourself in your private time. In recent times you purposely masturbate in front of him as he sits back in a comfy seat but only after kicking his ass for being a creep.

Exhibitionism: He doesn't mind taking things in a public space like a bathroom stall or just outside a party, he already has his initials marked all over Aaa so a quickie is just another way to mark his place as his.

Praise kink: can't get enough when hearing you say how much you love him, how good he feels inside you or the sensation of his mouth all over you.

L= Location

Anywhere, anytime. The only place he refuses to go is the Nightosphere cause his mom has eyes and ear everywhere and those pesky demons would rattle him out and before he know it his mom is asking for grandchildren.

M= Motivation

It takes so little to rile him up but the fastest way is when you're wearing on of his band shirts.

N= NO

Alright hot take. Although he jokes around with it sometimes; Marshall refuses to actually bite your neck with his fangs. Sure he'll nibble on your neck and bite your shoulder but his fangs never really pierce the skin of your jugular, it brings bad memories of his own forceful transformation and how it made him feel.

O= Oral

Appreciates anyone who's brave enough to let his teeth near their privates.

P= Pace

He goes rough and fast, he knows he gets too carried away but he forgets it right away when he sees you enjoy it as much as he does.

Q= Quickie

Doesn't mind them.

R= Risk

Definitely a risk taker. There's many ways to turn him on and he'd love to share them with you, his safe word is probably something like batshit or fries.

S= Stamia

Impecable. Unless you're a supernatural creature you can't match up with his subhuman self.

T= Toy

Marshall likes them both on himself and on his partner, he likes the dildo varities in particular (when he needs to prepare you for his bat form) and how crazy some designs can get.

U= Unfair

Ultimate tease, if you start taunting Marshall he's gonna return it in an instant. Doesn't care if you're out in public he'll get handsy with you as punishment, and dear glob have mercy on you in the bedroom cause he'd edge that bratty attitude out of you.

V= Volume

He isn't as vocal compared to you when he takes the lead, he would mostly let out an occasional hiss or groan intertwined with his dirty talk or teasing. Buuut, if he's the one on the receiving end he'll cry, whine and moan like a bish.

W= Wild Card

If it wasn't because of his vampire regeneration abilities he'd get dick piercings.

X= x-ray

A nice 9 inches long with a slight curve upwards, he's long but a bit on the slender side like most of his body, it's color is just as pale too but halfway it leads to a small dark gray tip.

Y= Yearning

High libido, watch out. Although he doesn't need to eat or sleep he can still feel lust and hunger which become stronger the longer his needs go unfulfilled.

Z= Zzz

He doesn't really sleep much nor does he get exhausted easily, if he's with a mortal partner he'd pretend to sleep just to keep you company or sing/ play a lullaby on his guitar for you.

[hellsite-proteins]

i have only made a few structures for this account so far, but i'm quickly realizing that none of these text posts really look like anything. so, here are a few of my favourite real proteins for your enjoyment!

Sonic Hedgehog

this is probably one of the most famous examples of a protein with a pop culture name. it was first discovered in fruit flies, but also exists in humans and is important in embryonic development. because of its relevance to serious health conditions, the name has been highly criticized

structure:

ATP Synthase

we all know that the mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell, but that doesn't fully take into account how cool it is! ATP is the 'energy currency' of the cell, and is synthesized using a proton gradient and this awesome motor of a protein. the best way to understand it is by watching animations like this video.

structure:

BiP

this is a chaperone in the endoplasmic reticulum, which basically means it binds to proteins as they are synthesized and translocated into the ER lumen, allowing them to slowly fold into the correct shape. chaperones in general are really neat, but this one has the bonus of sounding cool, and gets bonus points for being inside the endomembrane system instead of just out in the cytosol.

structure:

GFP

this fluorescent protein was originally found in jellyfish, but exists in other animals as well, and gives off green fluorescence when exposed to UV light. it is commonly used in research to tag and visualize things, and E. coli cells expressing GFP are visibly green when grown on a plate (I've worked with them and they look very cool!) this protein has a beta barrel, and the parts around it have been modified to create new versions with different colours

structure:

Prion protein

the prion protein is naturally expressed, but its function is unknown. however, it is best known due to prion disease, which is caused by misfolded versions of the protein that spread destruction like an infectious agent as they cause nearby healthy proteins to become misfolded. this causes conditions including chronic wasting disease in deer, mad cow disease in cattle and Creutzfeldt-Jakob disease in humans. prions constantly change their structure unless they are bound to something else, which forms a very stable structure. this then continues to bind other proteins, eventually forming an aggregate that damages tissue.

structure:

all of these structures were downloaded from pdb and the structures are linked

[tinykittendelusion]

Joshua as a Dad

a/n: sorry for being mia I've been kinda sick this week :( also did you guys see mingyu's calvin Kline videos? I've been losing my mind

triggers: none

• Joshua is the softest dad ever. When you’re pregnant he’s bought 5 million books on pregnancy and toddlers so he can become “the best dad ever”.

• Whenever he has time he sings to your kids so much so that when they are small he sings to them over the phone for them to sleep .

• The favourite parent .

Their favourite uncle would be jeonghan cause they’d prank josh with his help.

• Loves decorating their nursery , and later their rooms.

• Makes diy jewellery and accessories for the kids

• The arts and craft parent

• Hes not allowed to drop the kids alone anymore (way too many parents hand TEACHERs have hit on him)

• He loves making breakfast for his little family

• Plays soccer and basketball with his kids

• Your children love water just like their dad

• He takes them to the beach, the lake , the pool anywhere they have clean water to have fun

• The children are woken up to him singing Sunday morning on Sunday’s

• Would be so grumpy if his children called the song old and boring

• Also he’s such a hobby enjoyer he also prompts that the kids have hobbies

• So you have kids who take active part in 3-4 club activities after college

• One or more of your children end up pursuing a non academic career

• Would be so proud

• Your guys home is a safe space for all your children and their friends

• Kinda the cool but hot dad

• Is kind of shy when he finds out that your children’s friends find him hot/have a crush on him

a/n: this is way longer than i thought it would be but josh would be such a good dad :(

[rencatuive]

i thought itd be fun to document my reactions to the prologue on notes so this is just a copypaste of that. dont expect anything detailed at all mostly just 'ooh this character is cute' and. itll be that for all of them cause i dont dislike any characters at all:

[Student X]

airi feels extremely traumatised already

god bless student 4 is so real

ah shit student 6 intro is so cool with the student 1 connections

student 9 has good vibes i like em

STUDENT 11 <3 [manami]

i feel like student 12 is the type of character to have an *interesting* fanbase /neu

TAMBA THATS THE ONE I LIKED shes sweet omg

[Interviews]

isono is so cute i love the butterfly vibes. also i like the more mysterious vibe change near the end, its intruiging! i see her as the type to put on a strong/overly positive façade but i guess thats a pretty surface level observation

uh oh i think im just gonna call all these characters cute. harada is very cute. i love animal likers. not much more to say

(sidenote, it kinda sucks being willingly spoiled on a media youre not into. and then you decide to get into it, and you recognise these things you know play a part in the story. totally my fault lol)

chiba has the biggest 'probably have gone through the Horrors' energy to me just cause like. child star. she really intrigues me personality wise though. (oh maybe she is 17 ?? theres a lot of mystery here already which i like - she has a doctor too) fun!

ooh i was looking at designs and i liked kamimura too a lot. (side note is the interviewer straight up The Mastermind that would be neat i think) I like his voice a lot btw!! i like the energy

hayashi is so cool omg thats it . genuinely its nice to someone actually this defiant like Yeah fuck em up

oh wada is the guy whos i guess a fan of isono! probably too much of a fan! wonder about their interactions for sure... hes actually really cute. also this interviews getting deep.

sasaki is so cutr omg my type is glasses. the studious archetype is really cool and... dies early a lot of the time?? so uh good luck !!

aww childrens book illustrator <3 i really like ojima he seems nice!!

oh yeah okazaki had a cool asf design. ive. heard like One spoilery comment about her but its okay no i didnt. i really likw the intonation of 'im an open book'. (also i like how most of this cast have "no phobias" which i guess could be true?? but yeah no im not spilling that either) i like her vibes a lot rn though :D

demonologist?????? okay dude. this guy is interesting! /pos

oh oh im gonna like tsuno a Lot. and could i assume a lot more than other people? just based off how energetic she is. she has a lil fang :D hope shes not dead

i really like the vocal perforamance in hiroakis one btw. oh wait dude people ship hirojima. thats The ship in this fandom right. i love his energy btw. he dgaf (until the character development hits) also i assume youre not meant to see that little strip of glasses shading as eyes but i totally do and it makes him 100x goofier i love it

Tamba is the character I put as my favourite pre-reaction so i remember her [Student X]. loving the contrast of attitudes between them(understandably) and i do actually like her a lot here!!!! tamba nation!!!!

theres a few shyboys in this cast and i think at least one of them has to be evil or generally has a personality change or something. right? But right now theyre all cuties <3 including hasagawa

firedancer is a cool talent. lotta cool talents in this one actually. she also has fangs yippee!! watari having an unconventional talent seems to be bringing her a lot of stress though, makes sense. love the vibes

fancy boy. i thought he and tamba could be related or something at first bc. omg light blonde hair!!!! if a character mentions another cjaracter in this ill assume theyre a ship. uhhhh sasanagi

okay so right now im a big Tsuno enjoyer shes a real cutie. still liking tamba a lot!! okazaki is my favourite design. as for the boys i like harada and hiroaki for totally different reasons. and i think i want to learn the most about chiba right now :D

the voice acting in this is great btw and im really looking forward to the rest!!

[vinylfoxbooks]

25 Days of Jegumas | Day 1 | Day 21 December 22 - Santa Claus | @noblehouseofgay | wc: 626

There was one part of Christmas that Regulus was never quite able to get a hang of understanding. He still doesn’t, not even with his son sitting on the lap of the jolly-looking man with a fake beard and branded in all garish red and white that probably is going to chainsmoke out the back end of the mall as soon as he gets on his break and listing off all of the random things that he wants for Christmas -- Regulus thinks that it’s rather late for them to be here, getting present ideas just before the actual day happens but whatever his partner and son wants -- while James takes a couple pictures of them. 

Santa Claus, what a weird thing. Who likes the idea of a fat man wearing garishly bright clothing sneaking into your house in the middle of the night with a giant red sack. That sounds like all of the markers of a crime. And the idea that he goes up and down the chimney -- which, what house has chimneys that are used or even open up to the sky anymore? -- without getting any soot on him or getting stuck because chimneys aren’t all that large, especially with a giant bag full of hard presents? It just doesn’t sound enjoyable. 

He was almost freaked out by the story when he first heard of who Santa Claus was, staring at Sirius in abject horror as his brother told the stories with stars in his eyes at the idea. He understands, now, that Santa Claus isn’t real or anything and is instead played by very tired parents in the middle of the night but… what kid would find joy in the idea of that. Shouldn’t it freak them out? 

Regulus wonders if any of these children crying when they get to the man in the costume are scared of a strange man that they’re being told to sit with or if they’re scared of the stories. He doubts the latter is the case for most of them, if not all. James tried to describe it to him, using buzzwords that Regulus can’t relate to like ‘favourite uncle that always brings cool things’ or ‘the nice grandpa that tells you cool stories and bounces you on his knees’ but it didn’t make anything click for him like they thought it would.

But again, whatever Harry and James wants. And Harry is currently staring up at the costumed man that he’s sitting on with joy and awe and it warms Regulus’ heart. He doesn’t get it, but his son loves the idea of Santa Claus, and perhaps that’s enough for now. Maybe, far in the future when Harry is a teenager, they can talk about it and Regulus can ask why he loved the idea of Santa so much. 

James is helping Harry off of the man’s lap -- which also freaks out Regulus, he’d rather not watch his son sit on the lap of a complete stranger who probably doesn’t even have to go through any in depth background checks -- and thanking the man and the workers dressed as elves with shoes too big. Then they’re making their way over to where Regulus is standing with a couple bags in his hands, “Ready to go?”

Regulus nods, moving all of the bags to one hand and grabbing at James’ free one, “Whenever you are.” 

As they’re walking, Harry works himself around James so he’s holding both of their hands between the two of them, “Did you see me and Santa papa?” 

Regulus smiles down at his son, “I did, was he as nice as you thought?”

“Even nicer!” Harry cheers.

“That’s good, little doe.” Regulus hums, “I’m glad that you got to see him this year.”

Day 23

[nikethestatue]

A Ballad of Sorrow and Love

End of Elriel Month 2024 and end of the story.

TW: death, I guess.

Part III

Lovely Fawn

Despite Rhysand’s not so subtle objections, Azriel decided to attend the reception with the Vallahan dignitaries. Elain didn’t protest either, so he concluded that it would be appropriate for him to make an appearance. Not that he necessarily wanted to, however, he was the Prince of Hewn City, and his title obligated him to do things which he didn’t always enjoy–like attending boring parties. At least in Hewn City, he could fuck Elain in front of the Court, if he so desired. She wouldn’t say no, and it certainly made receptions a lot more interesting and enjoyable. No such pleasure in Night Court. 

Today, Elain dressed in a black dress that was little more than gossamer, which wrapped around her voluptuous body like second skin. It glittered with sequins and strategically placed black flowers, which covered her breasts and her bottom. A smattering of extra sparkles was all that concealed her front. A long train slithered on the floor with every step that she took. Elain liked pearls–a stone of mourning and innocence, of fertility and purity, of perfection and romance–and wrapped many strands around her neck and her wrists. 

“A crown for my Princess,” Azriel announced, opening up a heavy wooden box.

Elain smiled and peered inside. It was the Black Peregrine Crown tonight then. One of her favourites. A heavy, imposing crown made of black and white diamonds, studded with black and white pearls, tourmalines and opals. Azriel lifted the crown from its velvet nest and then gently placed it on Elain’s golden head. 

“Perfect,” he whispered when she straightened and he could observe her in all her glory. “You are so fucking beautiful, Elain. So beautiful.”

They stepped out on the terrace and Azriel opened his arms, allowing Elain to slip into his embrace. He lifted her easily off the ground and as she wrapped her arms around his neck, he spread his wings and shot up into the air. She threw a shield over them, so that the wind didn’t mess up her hair and once they crossed the enchanted barrier that surrounded the palace, the weather became less than pleasant, with heavy rain pelting the ground and bouncing off the air shield. “Thanks, smart girl!” Azriel chuckled, grateful for the shield and then kissed her.

Rhysand, the High Lord of Night Court sat in his chair, which wasn’t quite a throne, but also wasn’t just a simple chair. It was long, made for two, for him and for Feyre, his High Lady, to sit beside him. He didn’t feel the need to greet his guests on a throne–this wasn’t going to be a show of power and his High Lord’s might. The relationship between his Court and Vallahan was friendly enough. Although now, after what Azriel had uncovered about Eris and Lucien, Rhysand didn’t know who to trust. And whether he could ever let his guard down the way he did with the Vanserra brothers. This thing pressed on him and he wasn’t at his best. Feyre flitted around the reception room, greeting and welcoming the guests, and even Nesta helped out, doing a passable impression of being interested. 

“Are you alright?” Feyre whispered, when she finally extricated herself for a moment and approached him. She looked lovely, dressed in a pale pearl gown with a halter top, which was tied in the back into a large bow and then flowed into a fluttering train of silk.

“All good, Feyre darling,” he smiled at her and kissed her hand. 

Then, his eyes narrowed and he pursed his lips. Seeing the change in his expression, Feyre turned her head and before she could say anything, Rhys hissed, “what is he doing here? I requested that he not come!”

Her arms crossed on her chest, Nesta Archeron, stately and cool, stepped behind him and said, “He has just as much right to be here as you do. You are a High Lord of your Court and he is a Prince of his.”

“This is my Court,” Rhys cut her off, “and my request.”

Nesta shrugged in her usual nonchalant way, not giving him any leeway.

“She is right, you know,” Feyre agreed, eyeing her mate with displeasure.

“Don’t gang up on me,” he ordered. “Because you both know that I am right. He makes things uncomfortable. He is barely lucid as it is…”

“Lucid enough to have uncovered a massive conspiracy that spans the continent,” Nesta noted meaningfully.

Rhys shook his head and insisted, “these types of events are inadvisable for him.”

“Elain is with him,” Nesta said calmly. “She will keep him in line.”

“Az!” she then called, waving her arm at him. “How are you? It’s nice to see you. We weren’t sure you’d come tonight.”

She walked to him and then embraced him, before saying, “good evening Ellie-girl!”

Feyre joined them soon after and greeted Azriel with a wide smile.

“Are you treating my sister well?” she joked.

Azriel pulled Elain to his side and draped his arm over her shoulders, before pressing a kiss to her temple.

“Always,” he said. Elain nodded.

“What are you wearing today?” Feyre whispered and then said, “The Black Peregrine!”

Azriel’s eyes wandered to his High Lord and he saw that Rhys was scowling in his direction–not that it was a very unusual reaction. The brothers didn’t see eye to eye most of the time. 

Rhys would’ve wanted to pull the Court of Nightmares back under his control, but the divine Power wouldn’t allow him too, refusing to budge away from Azriel.

“Uncle Az!” He heard a lovely familiar voice and turned around, smiling. 

His beautiful niece Elena hurried toward him, a pretty pink gown with black flowers accentuating her incredible loveliness. It always amused him how Cassian’s and Nesta’s daughter looked so much like Elain. Same golden brown curls, same big dark round eyes, same shy smile. 

“My pretty girl, I am so happy to see you here tonight!” he exclaimed, taking her into his arms and embracing her tightly. 

“Uncle Rhys wanted me to be here,” she explained, “though he told me that you wouldn’t be coming,” she frowned at that.

Azriel shrugged, “He never wants me to come,”

“Ahhh,” she sighed sadly. “I so wish you’d patch things up with him! He is not being very fair to you.”

“It’s been like that for years,” Azriel said, “I suppose I am used to it by now,”

She stomped her little foot and said, “Well, it isn’t fair! And you shouldn’t accept it.”

He smiled at her, again, reminded of Elain –even that little pout was all Elain. 

He flicked the top of her arched ear and said, “You look like your aunt!”

“Pfff, everyone says that!” then she glanced at the clock and said, “oh, I have to run, Uncle,”

“Where are you going?”

She rolled her eyes, “Nyx and myself and Kira and Zoya (Nesta and Cassain’s other daughters) are expected to go and entertain the ambassadors’ children. At least they are our age!”

Azriel smiled and kissed her forehead. “You better join us for dinner then.”

“We will!” she blew him a kiss and hurried away.

Before the ambassadors entered the reception hall, Rhys released a bit of his power, so it thrummed in the air, filling the space and making all who were present pay attention. Feyre took her seat at his side. Then it was Azriel, who held the highest rank behind the High Lord and Lady. He sat in a chair, with Elain beside him, and wrapped his arm around her. He was glad of it too, because he was too fucking old to be standing around, greeting ambassadors and emissaries. That was a job for the kids like Elena and Nyx. They had the energy. And Cassian too, apparently, because he stood behind Nesta’s seat, legs apart, hand on his sword. Hopefully, there wasn’t going to be a need for all that tonight.

The six ambassadors and their entourage arrived soon after and Rhysand rose from his chair in a gesture of good will, greeting them.

“Welcome,” he said, his voice loud and melodious, created to put visitors at ease. 

The males and two females bowed, and Rhys began the introductions.

“My mate, the High Lady of Night Court, Feyre Archeron.”

Feyre smiled and inclined her head at the guests.

Rhys continued, bypassing Azriel, though he was supposed to have been next,

“General Nesta Archeron, Cauldron Made, leader of the Valkyrie armies.”

Nesta greeted them politely, her back straight, her face placid.

“Cassian, Commander General of the Night Court.”

Then he paused, and everyone’s gazes inevitably fell on Azriel.

“His Highness, Prince Azriel of Hewn City,” Rhys finally said with a sigh. “Commanding General of the Darkbringers, Lord of the Court of Nightmares.”

Azriel glared at Rhysand and while the others bowed and curtsied, he barked loudly,

“AND?”

At that, Feyre got up and walked to him, saying calmly,

“And Lady Elain Archeron of the Court of Nightmares, Princess of Hewn City, Cauldron Made.”

Everything stopped, the very air silent and tense.

The ambassadors stared at the High Lady, then at Azriel. And then at Nesta, who stood up and walked over as well, saying loudly ‘my sister’.

-

Only there was no one next to Prince Azriel.

He sat alone in his chair.

Because, as everyone knew, Princess Elain had died in childbirth 184 years ago.

-

His mind had fractured that day. 

They didn’t know that Elain was carrying twins until it was too late. The girl, who was small, hid behind the boy for too long in their mother’s womb. Their heartbeats beat in unison, and even the most experienced healers didn’t notice a second baby. A wingless baby. A baby who survived, while her mother and brother died. A baby who was picked up by her uncle Cassian, while his wife and mate Nesta was mute and dumb from grief and his brother Azriel flew out of the birthing room, only to return forever changed. Cassian took the baby with him and named her Elena.

Whether Azriel knew that Elain was dead and had been dead for almost two centuries, Feyre did not know. He never indicated that he was aware. He never called Elain a ‘ghost’ or made it known that he knew that she was dead, but it was easier to pretend like she was alive.

No.

The three of them–Feyre, Rhys and Cassian–were quite sure that Azriel had lost his mind that day and consequently, Elain’s death simply never registered with him. When he’d returned from his flight that day, he seemed the same as he always was. No shadows whispering in his ears, no sadness in his eyes. He did seem to be conscious of the fact that the children weren’t born, but he and ‘Ellie’ sat down with Temal, his adopted son, and explained it to him. Temal wasn’t exactly a child by then, but a grown man and he understood that something had happened to his father when Elain had died. Ever since then, Temal has played along. Almost two hundred years later, it became…normal to him. That his father and the illusion of his mother lived together and ruled together. It somehow became ‘normal’ to all of them, except for Rhys. But Feyre and Cassian, and especially Nesta protected Azriel from Rhys.

Nesta wasn’t entirely lucid either. Feyre was sure that Nesta knew that Elain was dead, but she’d come to believe that Elain was always next to them–just like Azriel claimed.

Whether it was a hallucination or an illusion that Azriel’s traumatised mind had conjured, Feyre couldn’t know. But Azriel had lived with this version of Elain ever since that day, and never looked unhappy. He was never confused. He was never doubtful. The only time he displayed any agitation is when Rhys ‘forgot’ about Elain and acted like she wasn’t at Azriel’s side. In his mind, Azriel convinced himself that it was because Rhys didn’t want Elain to marry him, and therefore ignored her because of that. Otherwise, Azriel went about his life married to Elain. 

In fact, Feyre believed that perhaps, Azriel and his Elain, were the happiest couple among all of them. 

Nesta and Azriel talked to ‘Elain’, laughed with her, walked with her, and in Azriel’s case, lived with her. He lived with her as a man would with his wife–sleeping and eating with her, bathing and cooking, dancing and drinking, making love with her and going on missions together. He did everything with Elain. He was Elain’s husband for eternity, just like he promised her at their wedding. And she was with him, walking hand in hand, living into the promise that she’d made to him.

From what Feyre could gather, the only difference between how Nesta was with their sister, and how it was different from Azriel, was that Nesta couldn’t see Elain. But she always insisted that Elain spoke to her, and as unnerving as it was to hear, Feyre got used to Nesta saying ‘Elain told me…” or “Elain and I were talking and she said…” or “El and I were laughing the other day…” Nesta confided to Elain, cried to her, argued with her, got angry with her. She ‘invited’ Elain to her training, and even discussed military plans with her. Apparently Elain ‘played’ with Nesta’s girls, sang to them, and knew that Nesta was raising Elena. 

At least Nesta seemed to have been aware that Elena was not her daughter, but Elain’s. Though they’d all agreed that it would be best for Azriel not to know about Elena and to preserve his fragile mind, they always treated Elena as Nesta and Cassian’s daughter and Azriel’s niece. It was, therefore, especially amusing, but also heartbreaking that Azriel and the girl were so close and that he loved her far more than any other of his nieces and nephews. 

When Elain had passed on, they did not know what to do with the body. The little boy was lovely as well, handsome and strong–his father’s son. They could not very well bury her without Azriel’s consent. They certainly couldn’t cremate her either. The mere mention of Elain’s death had Nesta’s eyes glowing with silver flames, and when she unequivocally announced that Elain was not dead, they dared not argue with her.

So Elain and her son were laid in a glass coffin, both perfect and unblemished even in death, sealed within it, Elain’s immense power still seeping out of her and then brought to rest under the Prison. Beneath the roots of the mountain. Under Dusk Court.

“Princess Elain is happy to meet you,” Azriel said simply to the ambassadors.

Sometimes, Elain didn’t want to talk, and he didn’t pressure her.

Sometimes, she talked a lot and he loved listening to her. But there were days when she preferred to be quiet and it didn’t bother him at all. The two of them always understood each other perfectly well, even in silence. Before they became lovers, before they were married, Elain could always read him and his moods, she always knew what he was thinking and was aware of his reasons for his actions. Words were always somewhat superfluous to them. 

Their Court knew that the Princess sometimes communicated through him, and they’d come to accept that. But Elain was usually especially quiet around Rhys. It was as if she knew that he didn’t approve of her and did not like her.

The Court. The Court of Nightmares had a mad ruler, who ruled them alongside his dead wife. A ruler who was fully convinced that she sat on the throne with him, that she attended balls with him, that she weighed on topics and disagreements that arose during open sessions, that she opined on judicial decisions. But because he was a good ruler despite his madness, the Court…accepted it. So what if the Princess wasn’t there in the flesh. Perhaps, she truly spoke through him and who were they to question whether their Prince actually saw her and communicated with her if she were alive. 

“No sweetness, he is not angry that you came,” Azriel assured her, peering angrily at Rhysand. “Rhys is just stressed. Soon we’ll go to dinner and then I will dance with you.”

Elain smiled at him. And then she found her voice and asked, “you promise?”

“I promise. You are my princess. And I am your prince. And soon, we’ll go back to our dark kingdom and we’ll be home, amongst our people.”

“You promise?” she repeated.

“I do. I promise.”

“Forever.”

“Forever.”

-

Epilogue

Seventeen years later

It took years to find him, but at last, he did.

Azriel looked down at the male cowering in the pews of the temple.

It was an oddly cathartic moment, he couldn’t deny it. 

Azriel and Lucien, forever locked in a silent battle, all because the Cauldron gave Elain to the wrong man. A lifetime of animosity, and the desire to correct a divine mistake. 

“Azriel,” Lucien straightened and looked at his nemesis with his one eye. 

“Lucien,” Azriel offered a curt nod.

“How did you find me?”

Azriel smirked.

“Well, if not me, then who?”

“I guess that’s true.”

Sighing heavily, Lucien looked down at the stone floor and wondered,

“So, now what? You finally get to kill me. And you’ll bring the traitor’s head to Rhysand as a trophy?”

Azriel seemed to consider it, cocking his head to the side. 

Could he? Should he?

“You deserve it,” he told Lucien simply.

“Perhaps. But I didn’t do it just for myself. I did it for the Fae kind as well.”

“Sure. Keep telling yourself that if it makes you feel better.”

Lucien unsheathed his sword and asked coldly, “so, what happens now? How do you want to do this?”

Azriel turned his head and seemed to listen to something.

Lucien was well aware of the male’s madness–knew that Azriel thought that Elain was standing beside him that very moment, speaking to him.

“Elain says ‘hello’,” Azriel said.

It cost him nothing, and Lucien answered, “Hello Elain.”

Azriel stiffened and glanced at the other male with mild surprise. Like he wasn’t expecting Lucien to greet Elain.

After a long pause, Azriel scrubbed his chin and muttered, “she says not to kill you”.

Lucien almost dropped his sword, glaring at the Prince, mistrust in his eye.

“Stop fucking around, Shadowsinger. If you are here to kill me, then just do it.”

Azriel smiled at his old title. Shadowsinger. Yes, that power remained with him, but also disappeared some time ago. It was odd to hear the title spoken out loud.

“She asks for you to kill me,” he stated simply. “But only on this specific spot.”

“What are you on about?” Lucien groaned. “I am not killing you! If we fight, then we fight like real Fae!”

“I don’t need to fight like real Fae,” Azriel snapped. “I’ve fought for something for almost 800 years and what did it give me? Nothing. What I want is a life that was taken from me. What I want, is to live a life with my fucking wife. What I want is to escape this world, the judgement in everyone’s eyes, and to no longer be called a ‘madman’. I want to live a life with Elain Archeron. I want to be with her. I want…” he stopped, his voice trailing off. Then he raised his eyes and looked at Lucien, almost pleading with him, “I want release, Lucien. That’s what I want. I want to be with Elain. In this world. In another. I don’t care. I just want that…I just want to feel…Feel what I felt with her and have it be real.”

Lucien listened, unsure if Azriel was being truthful, but also saw the desperation in the male’s eyes. Was Azriel, in fact, not as mad as he let everyone believe?

Or was this just a moment of rare mental clarity?

“So I am to kill you?” he then confirmed.

“That’s what Elain says,” Azriel nodded. 

“And then what?”

“And then you go on your merry way, scheming or doing whatever it is that you do.”

“And Rhysand?”

“I am a burden, not a cause celebre to him,” Azriel shrugged indifferently. “And if it took me that long to find you, I think you are quite safe. He won’t find you.”

“What will happen when I kill you?”

“I don’t know,” Azriel confessed. “But Elain insists on it.”

“You do know that this is…” Lucien’s voice was quiet. “I am not used to murdering unarmed men…and you are my mate’s husband…”

“It’s all right,” Azriel shrugged. “I forgive you. Just do it already. Stop talking. I am at peace. My daughter will take over Hewn City. She is a marvellous, brilliant, smart woman–I know the Power will choose her.”

“You have a daughter?” Lucien exclaimed, absolutely puzzled by this new revelation.

“Yeah. I suspected that she was–for a long time–and I finally got proof a few years ago. And I am so proud of her. I’ve got two amazing children–Temal and my Elena. And my grandchildren. Believe me, I am at peace. I am content. And whatever is going to happen, is going to happen.”

He stepped aside and walked to a specific spot, stopping abruptly. 

“Elain says it has to be done here.”

“Why?”

“The Cauldron stood here for a while, in this specific spot. The Cauldron loves her and always helps her with odds and ends.”

“Killing you is helping her?” 

“I don’t know. We are about to find out. Also, do it cleanly, Vanserra. One through the heart. Got it?”

“I suppose.”

Azriel pulled Truth-Teller out of its sheath and clutched it in his hand. “Don’t want to lose it.”

Lucien approached him cautiously, still unsure of what was happening, but Azriel seemed at ease and determined.

“I guess I am coming home, treasure,” Azriel murmured.

-

Light flooded the space around him. Azriel stood in front of a door, in a place that was not familiar to him. He was still clutching his dagger in his hand. Gingerly, he pushed the door and it opened and he stepped inside. 

“Hi, love, are you home?” Elain called out from inside the house.

“I am,” Azriel murmured.

Suddenly, Elain, lovely as a morning sunrise, ducked her head from behind a wall and smiled at him.

“You are late,” she said.

“It took me a long time to find the way here.”

He looked around.

Nothing seemed familiar, and yet it was. It was a house filled with things that were unknown to him, and of a different origin. 

“Is this the Land of Milk and Honey?” he wondered.

“No. It’s Lunathion.”

This was…unexpected.

She came to him, looking just like he remembered her, only glowing with life and health. Her outfit was unusual and unfamiliar to him–a plain sleeveless shirt that was quite tight and a pair of short pants, which looked more like underwear than something one would wear outside. Her long braid hung carelessly over her shoulder. On her finger, she wore the ring that he’d given her when they married. The same simple silver band. 

“I’ve been waiting,” Elain said, putting his hand to her lips.

“What was the price?” he wondered, looking down at her and still unsure if this was another illusion, if this was death, or if this was real.

She worried her lower lip between her teeth and then admitted,

“There is no going back. This was the Cauldron's final gift. Its parting gift. We died, only to live again, but here. We’ll never see any of them again. Not our children, not our family. We can never jump through a Rift to go back. We died.”

He nodded.

A price he was willing to pay.

“Ready for a new chapter?” she said.

“With you?” he asked hopefully.

She reached for him and took his scarred hand in hers.

“With me. Forever.”

“Forever.”

[fake-married-my-dead-fiance]

My favourite Kdramas (so far)

My favourite Cdramas (so far)

Currently watching: recovering from psychic damage after watching Till the End of the Moon by watching Perfect Match (cdrama Pride & Prejudice?)

My to watch list, Venn Diagram of my favourite kdrama things, favourite male and female actors, my parent trauma tracking, my Truck of Doom tracking, and my Text Posts

My Main is about Jane Austen

For tracking purposes. But feel free to suggest me new Kdramas

When the Phone Rings: What a fun insane show! It was bonkers from beginning to end. The acting was great, the OST was awesome, the story was insane. Everything you want in a makjang drama.

Text Posts

Alchemy of Souls: Visually beautiful, wonderful soundtrack, casting is amazing, story is very well thought-out, world-building is on point, loved all of it.

Trope subversions, Love Maps, Plot driven by fear

Moon in the Day: The most angsty enemies to lovers you will ever find in your life. It's completely enthralling. The past scenes with Do-ha are amazing. There are some plot holes and the secondary characters aren't very well developed, but I don't care. It was so good!

Text Posts, On the ending, the emotional journey, Webtoon vs. Drama

Doom at Your Service: The world-building is really well done, as is the symbolism. Doom is so weirdly lovable. Also has a great soundtrack.

Extraordinary You: the story gets a little drawn out in the middle episodes, but the concept is so gripping that I forgive it. The main character is really spunky and fun and the villain is probably the most interesting character in the show.

Lovely Runner: This is one of the cutest dramas I've seen in a while. Top tier cuteness. The story was really fun and I laughed a lot.

Text post, Another, Google Searches

W: Two Worlds: So good! So unpredictable! So Male Lead who was smart and actually acted smart! This is the dark companion of Extraordinary You and I loved every minute.

Happiness: the whole point of zombie horror is that the humans are the real monsters and Happiness delivered on that 100000%. Turns out Park Hyung-sik can also be serious and very good at punching people! Han Hyo-joo was also amazing. The slow burn romance was so cute. Loved it so much. Also, more of a murder mystery than a zombie show.

Zombieland Rules, Webtoon vs. Drama

Sh**ting Stars: the voluntarism in an unnamed African country wasn't great, but the rest of the show was so heartwarming and cute! There were lots of lovable characters, mature relationships, very cute friendships, and hilarious antics.

The Forbidden Marriage: The plot had lots of fun twists and the resolution was satisfying. I wish we got more So Rang hijinks in the later episodes, the hunting episode was my favourite with her running around everywhere like a maniac.

It's Okay to Not be Okay: My only critique is I wish they did more of the animations for fairy tales, but it's so good. The female lead had the most amazing outfits. The story is so good and the way they portrayed the brother's autism.

Revenant: I'm not usually into horror, but this wasn't too scary. It was very well written, the threads in the mystery all came together well. The characters were interesting and the supernatural stuff was cool. Really great acting.

Flower of Evil: Everyone was right again, it was really good. So many twists and turns, such good romance, so many good reveals. Loved it. Loved it enough to forgive the amnesia part.

Kdramas I have liked:

Vincenzo - technically I'm at 19/20 but I don't want to watch the Himbo die so I might just stay here? Overall it was an enjoyable watch but the genre (Revenge comedy) didn't really click with me. There were often no consequences to anything anyone did and eventually it got a bit silly. The end of 19 was kind of a character assassination of Vincenzo.

Light Shop - it was pretty and creepy and well-acted, but I was left wanting more depth.

Family by Choice - this drama always felt so calm and happy, even when something terrible was happening, because Noodle Dad was always there to make everyone feel better. A great comfort watch.

The Judge from Hell - very interesting premise and solid execution, Justitia was believable as a demon and I like that she an Da-on met in the middle. The ending kind of dragged and it had some unexplained plot points (like the defeat of Satan)

Text post

Penthouse War in Life (S1 - 3): This is an over-the-top rich people problems revenge drama and it delivers. The writing was surprisingly good, the acting was great, and the costumes were very fun. Seasons 1 & 2 were very cohesive, S3 jumped the shark right away and everything that followed was nonsense, especially the ending. But hey, what a ride!

Twinkling Watermelon: It's good, it just wasn't for me. I enjoyed the female characters more than the main male characters (especially young Yi-chan, he really annoyed me). Eun-gyeol was too unrealistically perfect at everything. But it had nice character development and I shipped all the couples.

Kingdom: Loved it! But I refuse to put it in my top kdramas since S2 ends on a huge cliff hanger and apparently they aren't making any more. Boo to Netflix. This was more gory than Happiness, but I loved having zombies in a historical setting. (This one doesn't go in my terrible ending category because it's just the last ten minutes that suck, not the last one or two episodes)

Ending fix, why the ending sucks

A Shop for Killers: an interesting action drama. I was surprised by one or two of the reveals but they were well written, I liked the non-linear storytelling and Jian as a character. The backstory about Bale got a bit too dark/gory for me but I should have expected that with this genre.

Haechi: Really strong beginning, lots of action, I enjoyed the court drama and the action bits. The only problem was that once the main character stopped being a scrappy underdog, it was just a lot of him winning which got slightly boring. The ending was very pro-monarchy, but from everything I've been able to read in English, this guy was a good king so good for him I guess? Also, the female lead went from interesting to doing nothing with heart eyes.

The Atypical Family: A very interesting superhero/time travel story with a fun ensemble cast. I didn't love any particular character (except I-Na), but the story was really fascinating and I was never bored.

Doctor Slump: Very cute and relaxing watch. The FL's family was really cute, especially her mom! The focus on mental health was nice, though there was a bit too much of an idea that a relationship can fix your depression/PTSD. But still good!

Text post

Daily Dose of Sunshine: this made me cry multiple times. The visuals for how different disorders feel was fascinating. Good resolutions for the characters. I loved it all despite the unrealistic endings.

Extraordinary Attorney Woo: I'm blown away by their portrayal of autism. They don't shy away from making her ticks and mannerisms off-putting, awkward, and even somewhat annoying, but Young-woo has joy, she has imagination, she loves life. It's so much better than anything with an autistic character that I've seen in Western media. Not 10/10 because I did get a bit uninterested in the later cases when I wanted to know where the love story was going.

Choi Su-yeon

Oh My Ghost: I loved this one! Park Bo-young did an amazing job playing an oppressed shaman and possessed-by-a-ghost. It was very well written: there weren't any ridiculous sideplots and I was never bored. I did think the ending dragged a little bit, but overall I loved it.

The King's Affection: I think it probably could have been cut down to 16 episodes instead of 20, but very good. The female crown price is so scared all the time and I want to hug her, but also badass! It's a very hard line to walk but they do it well. Also, the bodyguard who is also an assassin is so hot and the costumes are great.

My Lovely Liar: very cute and occasionally very scary. Probably one of the most normal relationships I've seen in a Kdrama, no destiny or fate just two people who like each other. The murder mystery was well done, though I'm not sure how I feel about the final reveal.

Hospital Playlist: The epitome of slice of life. I enjoyed all the characters, especially Lee Ik-jun, The Ghost, and Long Winter (Jang Gyeo-ul) and the cute kid! I love the mom and the hospital director hanging out together. The band! I cannot stop listening to their songs!

What's Wrong with Secretary Kim: I liked that for once the big trauma didn't come from the parents, what a twist! I actually loved how ridiculously narcissistic the ML was and I loved the competent and mature FL. They didn't have any ridiculous misunderstandings and they never broke up. And the ML's friend was very funny.

King the Land: The show got better as it went on. The female lead was so competent and sure of herself. The parts about the friends' struggles was heartbreaking a lot of the time. I also loved how positive the female relationships were.

Kdramas with Great Beginnings and Terrible Endings (I don't mean sad, I mean they squandered their potential):

No Gain No Love: this drama barrelled through every sexually conservative expectation for Kdramas. They really defeated a bad guy with glow-in-the-dark dildos. Who would have ever imagined? I loved the leads, but the ending was lacking in that Hae-yeong never achieved her career ambitions. The love story was great though and I've rewatched parts of it already.

Text posts

Because This is My First Life: The ending was terrible and gross, but the female characters were so well written and fleshed out that I can almost forgive it. I related so much to all of them. Also, the best explanation ever for why a woman would choose a marriage without love.

Queen of Tears: I loved the set-up but for me it lost it's way at the end. Too many dramatic moments and the Magic Cancer surgery and Magic Amnesia Month were just too much of a strain on my ability to suspend my disbelief. But the performances were very good, from the leads and the secondary characters, and the premise was good. I enjoyed like 80% of the show.

Text posts

Captivating the King: I'm struggling to rate this one. The ML was amazing, but the FL seemed to just always be wide-eyed scared/worried. The writing was great for the first half, but the ending was ambiguous in a way I didn't enjoy. The intimate scene in Ep 8/9 was awesome, but then we didn't really get more. I wish they had stuck the landing. Smart character became dumb.

Marry My Husband: very fun drama, I especially enjoyed Su-min and Min-hwan, who were some of the most deep villains I've seen portrayed. However, I hated the Yu-ra storyline and I felt like the ML kept the secret of his death for way too long. Also, no happy ending for the secondary couples! I wanted more screen time with them.

Webtoon vs. Drama, Text Post

The Story of Park's Marriage Contract: It was fluffy and fun, I loved Sa-wol the maid, we should have had more of her! I hated the ending though, so much. Just so bad.

Kdramas that are So Bad They Are Somehow Good:

Perfect Marriage Revenge - This show did exactly what it set out to do, be completely over-the-top dramatic. The male lead looks like a Ken doll dressed by an eight year old, the mothers have the most over the top outfits and hairstyles ever, someone eats DNA test results, it's a delight to watch.

Hwarang: really great acting despite a mediocre script, but man so many plot holes and unresolved plots. I never totally decided if the Queen Dowager was actually trying to help her son or just holding on to power and I feel like they should have made that clearer. Also, what was that love triangle??? But I did enjoy myself the whole time.

Dreaming of a Freaking Fairytale: the acting was good enough that except for the first episode, I enjoyed myself the whole time. Also so many good kissing scenes! Fun subversion of the Cinderella trope.

Other Kdramas I've watched:

Cinderella at 2am: It was cute, but I ended up liking the second couple more and I wish they'd had more screen time. I don't think the male lead is a very good actor either.

Perfect Family: the story was engaging enough but it had such a weird ending. Like not dissatisfying, but just strange? Also, my favourite actor was dead basically the whole time, which I knew going in but it still made me sad.

The Red Sleeve: full review here and also here, but basically, I loved the Crown Prince's story, but the female lead fell flat. They never sufficiently explained the FL's emotional journey and they also kept ruining female characters. Justice for the Queen Dowager!

Soundtrack #1: I hate endless, hopeless pining and that's all this was. It had it's cute moments, but I always felt like the male lead was in pain and I didn't enjoy that.

Hospital Playlist 2: Somehow it wasn't as good as the first season, I found myself actually getting bored. But it was nice to see all the couples get together.

Goblin/Guardian the Great and Lonely God: The roommate stuff is hilarious! It did move slowly at times, I wanted the Grim Reaper/Sunny stuff to move faster. I got really annoyed at Kim Shin for not being honest with Eun-tak. Sometimes the product placement annoyed me. But it's very beautiful and I was very invested in everyone. Problem is, I don't think I ever want to watch it again.

Tale of the Nine Tailed + 1938 - It's fun, but the lore/world-building don't make a whole lot of sense. The Serpent is pretty over powered in S1 and really ought to have won. 1938 was better but the female mountain goddess made zero sense as a character. Lee Rang is probably the best part of the whole series, and his little murder fox girl in S1 or mermaid girl in S2.

Castaway Diva: I love the songs and the found family parts, but the story was lacking. Especially the older singer's story made very little sense and didn't come to a satisfying conclusion. And why not show us a little of the main couple being together?

Hotel del Luna - I enjoyed the ghost parts but the dynamic between the main couple was a mess. He is so unconditionally nice and she is such a jerk to him!

Strong Girl Bong-Soon - I loved all the parts with Bong-Soon and Min-hyuk, like he was the cutest, sweetest boy ever, but everything else was kind of annoying. And the kidnapper parts were really creepy! I just wanted Bong-Soon to smash more things. I also hated Guk-doo and I wanted all the women to dump his ass.

Business Proposal - It was cute, but it bothered me that Ha-ri wouldn't just talk to Tae-moo about her concerns about dating him. Ha-ri may be the only female lead ever with a healthy family dynamic, yay for her! The secondary couple was fun.

Death's Game - I enjoyed the genre and actor switches at first, but then it seemed to veer into being about the serial killer CEO and then back to being about suicide and the resolution left me unsatisfied.

Webtoon vs. Drama

My Demon - It was fun, but the world-building wasn't great and the ending was fine. I felt like it tried to be Doom at Your Service but failed (there were many, many references/thefts).

Destined with You - I really liked some parts of it, especially the leads and I actually liked the office romance with Hong-jo's boss (until the last episode), but they left so many things unanswered that I wish were revealed! It's like the writers forgot it was a fantasy drama halfway through and just went in a totally different direction. It makes me angry.

The Uncanny Counter - The concept was good, the actors were good, the chemistry between the actors was amazing, but the story went way off the rails. So Mun just became way too over-powered and the plot needed more balance. I wanted more demon catching and less mayor stuff. I did like the bully being saved and reformed.

100 Days My Prince - I hated the main couple, he was just too distant and she should have figured out who he was like 10 minutes in. It felt like they only got together because he was obsessed with her, I would have preferred the nice face-blind guy. I ended up liking the peasant friend couple and the murderous princess and her assassin boyfriend better.

Started but not finished:

Hometown Cha Cha Cha - I hated it. Dropped at 9/16. Review. Frustration. Moving - I started it, it seems really slow. I think I'm four or five episodes in. The Crowned Clown - First episode was way too dark! Live Up To Your Name - Acupuncture is magic? Moonlight Drawn by Clouds - the first episode seemed bonkers Strong Girl Nam-Soon - could not even force myself to watch it. Total mess The Impossible Heir - Even Lee Jae-wook couldn't save this messy plot. My Sweet Mobster - stopped watching at Ep 10, I couldn't handle the jealousy and I found the FL really boring. River Where the Moon Rises - the pacing is bad (always seems like they are running around) and for some reason I cannot with the ML's super white teeth in the year 500 A.D. Ep 11/20 Our Blooming Youth - it has it's moments, but it started out creepy and most of the time is just silly. I do want to know how the mystery unravels but not enough to care right now 12/20 Fated to Love You (You are My Destiny) - I really liked the first episodes but after the miscarriage, it just seems like unnecessary delay of getting them back together. 14/20

[lilllithdraagon]

PART 7: The upheaval of the past three games

MASSIVE SPOILERS FOR DRAGON AGE THE VEILGUARD. READ AT OWN RISK.

Main Post Link

It doesn’t sit right with me. That the entire south fell.

Of course, it’s not supposed to. You are supposed to feel that gut punch. This is your fault. Or if you’re a blind fool (I’m not taking back what I just said) this is Solas’ fault. And the game wants you to feel the far reaching consequences.

But there’s a problem with this as a gamer.

It’s a problem Lunadys has with a lot of games that pull the ‘it was all a dream’ card.

Tell me.

What did our choices matter?

For three games, we played as characters fighting tooth and nail to protect the south.

It invalidates not only the effort but your enjoyment of those struggles and overcoming them. It erases any good you did along with the bad. It wholesale uproots the very foundations of Thedas and I can’t help but feel it’s a cold, calculated attempt to make a ‘clean slate’ for future games. That’s stupid. Just make a new world. Make your own. Why can’t corporate keep their grubby fingers off already existing stories without shredding the very things that made them loved in the first place?

Then there’s the Devouring Storm and the secret ending. Fuck that.

I was actually really excited by the prospect at first. They were only giving us little hints as to what it was in codex entries, and then in Taash’s personal quest. It sounded so cool, and terrifying.

....

Then we realized it just sounded like the reapers 2 electric boogaloo.

Except this time, they’ve been controlling prominent characters across the franchise into making the world as they want it. Oooooooo. FUCK OFF.

Are you saying those characters had no agency? Loghain? Bartrand? Are you saying that they were poor innocent souls being puppetted by the biggest of big bads? Or are they evil still, just not as evil? Either way it cheapens the characters. It cheapens the pain we’ve been through.

To make it so that you could revamp the series, you threw the old series under the bus. And we see what you’re doing.

I LOVE Dragon Age. It’s my favourite fucking game franchise ever. I will probably love it until the day I die. But here’s the thing.

Media is allowed to have an end. Everything ends eventually.

There isn’t much you can do to make the next bad guy more terrifying than Elgar’nan moving the fucking MOON. And that’s okay. Thedas doesn’t have to end. But our time in the world does.

It’s how I’ve been feeling about a lot of media lately. They’re kicking dead horses. And that hurts to watch.

[blessphemy]

@comment-bingo get me on that Blackout Prize List!!

These are all AO3 fics I commented on because.... I like fics. What about it. Perhaps on my next bingo card I'll remember to comment on some fanart and fanvids...

List of what I commented on under the cut! Because I'm a nerd.

Action/Adventure: Slapdash Neural Wiring by potatoturnipbean. This fic is part 2 of a series, but you can start by reading this one no problem. (That's what I did.) Featuring original construct characters set in the Murderbot Diaries universe, amazing heist fiction, drama, emotional turmoil, cool scifi gadgets, and line after line of hilarious, snappy prose. Do you want to be mercilessly punched in the emotions while laughing at the same time? Have you been craving a book that's exactly like Murderbot in tone and setting, but a littttle bit different? Do you want something gripping and fun and affecting? This fic is incredible and I'll tell anyone who listens. For free. Pleaes read Slapdash Neural Wiring it's an amazing work that needs love.

Poetry/Filk: Poetry installation: Untitled ("my friend always chooses the media") by borth. Very cool stuff. You have to actually read it to appreciate it I think... it's difficult to describe why I like it. In-universe poetry written in a bathroom stall.

Outsider POV: Cinema Verite by BoldlyNo. BoldyNo does it again with sensitive writing that explores canon and characters from various angles, this time it's Ratthi's perspective of creating The Video in System Collapse. Very good. Emotions.

Fave Trope: Road Trip For Science by Thirteen Primes. I don't know what my Fave Trope is, but I love Road Trips, and this fic has got a road trip. The author was inspired by a scene that came to them in a dream. There's something charming about this fic that is difficult to put my finger on. Featuring Mensah who'd done trucking to pay for school when she was younger, and Murderbot, driving a truck through a planet recently opening up to outside trade and which is being courted by corporate rim.

An Author You've Never Read: An Audacious Undertaking, Even to God by lumpy_space_princess. Featuring SecUnit 3, who is desperate to restore and re-upload the consciousnesses of SecUnits 1 and 2. Experience emotions from this fic or your money back. This fic is a multichapter and still updating!

Respond To Other Comment: On Constructs And Cats by ForestWren. Murderbot finds a kitten. What more do you want? It's exactly what you want.

Original Character: Happy Birthday by Jewels9162. Part of a prolific series about rogue Barish-Estranza units and their human handler. Bit of a nice slice-of-life here. About friends and birthdays.

Character Study: Sense of Belonging by ArtemisTheHuntress. Listen. I don't care what plans Martha Wells herself has for SecUnit Three. This fic is what truly happens with it in my heart after the events of System Collapse. It's such a good character study, about finding yourself in the context of a new strange social scene, about grieving what you've lost, about making a positive difference in the world using your specific skills and interests. So good.

Multi-Chapter: Slivers of Existence by musicofthespheres. A collection of loosely-connected ficlets. About Murderbot. It's very nice, okay. A bunch of pleasant scenes you can sip tea over as a pick-me-up. Enjoyable.

Long Fic (5k+ words): Family Portrait by ramshackle_fey. Are you ready to experience emotions about Murderbot and The Mensah Kids? Prepare yourself. Gird your heart.

Bharadwaj's Documentary: If You Want To Write by borth. This is a very neat concept. Chapter 1 is Murderbot and Bharadwaj talking to each other about the illiteracy enforced upon Murderbot by the company, and how Murderbot sneakily learned to read, and how its secretly-gained literacy is what allowed it to hack its governor module. Chapter 2 is a meta text exploring themes of literacy and worker control.

Old Favourite: In Another Life by Lick. Frankly it's impossible for me to pick only one favorite fic, so this is just one of many favorites. Frankly anything written by Lick is a favorite. This one is an AU in which Murderbot continued on its adventures for 4 years before returning to reunite with its humans on Preservation. The shifted dynamics with ART, SecUnit 3, and its humans, are a delight.

Free Space: do humans even dream by BWizard. A 4+1, times Mensah experiences nightmares, as noticed through the eyes of the people close to her. :')

Make a Rec Post: This post.

Crack: mining for copper (or ways to annoy your construct friend) by friendoftheJabberwock. Short and silly. Murderbot must do a very important infiltration at a costume party.

Canon Continuation: In Defense Of What I Never Had by Thylacine_Wishes. You ever want to ruminate on the Implications of Murderbot's shitty creation in comparison to ART's state-of-the-art University birthplace? Welcome. We have baby AIs.

Posted/Updated Pre-2023: precious cargo by FiannlyPhoebe babyfic. Fast forward some Years: Iris and Amena generate a human baby.

Fluff: people look east the time is near by BWizard. The secular space X-mas cookie making vibes. Sweet. Cookie decorating.

Hurt/Comfort: Memory Fault by Yellow. Murderbot and ART in the wake of the difficult events of Network Effect... talk it out.

Bot POV: Hints by i_have_loved_the_stars_too_fondly. Technically this is SecUnit POV. But I'm counting it. An exploration of how Amena may have come and done Murderbot's hair, pre-System Collapse. Made me feel a little sad :') I want them to feel connection and careeeeeee please.

Additional Canonized Tag: Third Dorm Mom by BoldlyNo. The canonized tag in question is "#Pansystem University of Mihira and New Tideland." Y'all this fic is AWESOME. If you love slice of life. If you love character and relationship studies. If you want a fic that is alllll about the relationship between Murderbot and Amena. It's this fic. Warm your heart over the coals, go on.

Fanart with <50 Notes: This collection of drawings by paging-possum. It had <50 notes when I reblogged it with commentary tags. You should check out this artist's works if you like Murderbot. Very nice drawings.

Podfic: [Podfic] Cog in the Machine, by FlipSpring by CompassRose and mistingsidekick on AO3. Come ruminate on the nihilistic POV of the Combat SecUnit that Murderbot faced off against in Exit Strategy.

Funny/Silly Tags: a comforting presence by afjakwrites. The tag in question: "#featuring secunit carrying ratthi bridal style." Consider, if you will: what if Murderbot is Objectively Hot.

Crossover: We Provide... Security by Blue_Bees. Very very good very good crossover!!!!! You don't need to know Leverage. Case fic + screw over Corporations time!

[hajihiko]

Ahhh, I'm sorry if this doesn't make sense, but I'm curious to know what changed Hajime/Izuru's mind in the universe your art takes place in? Like, what made him go from not caring about anything because everything was boring and meaningless, to trying to enjoy life?

I don't really remember what it was in the anime, but it was probably hope. And like, that makes sense if you think about it, considering that's the definition of hope, but hope doesn't usually just happen like that, you know? Especially not to someone who probably had never felt it since the whole Ultimate Hope thing (ironically). In my mind, it's hard to imagine what it could have been, considering nothing ever phased him. I know that whatever gave him hope doesn't have to be that deep, because that's how it is sometimes, but I was wondering what you think it could have been (or more importantly, what you consider it to be in your art)!

Also, this is kinda unrelated, but I find it so cool how much your art makes me really think about the characters. It's amazing how you're able to really see how you've fleshed out the characters through you art, and honestly, you are probably one of my favourite artists because of it.

But anyway, sorry about this long and random rant 😭 Idk why I spend my time analyzing the character and point of view of fictional characters, but I guess sometimes the ADHD brain goes brrrrrr.

Thank you for sharing your art; I hope have a great day or night!

depends on the universe! But I'll assume you mean my general post-game stuff.

I've said it somewhere before so if it's old bread to you bear with me, but basically, it was a genuine dedication to face the big horrible awful feelings that come with trauma and life in general, and also the brain boost of getting to skip the slow growing part even for just a while.

My idea is that Izuru and Hajime are not two separate identities, rather, an amnesiac and horribly traumatized boy was given a moniker he didn't care to accept or deny. It's not like he had any other name to go by. That was Izuru Kamukura.

The brain has these neural pathways of how it responds to things, and his all got burnt out so he could respond with an appropriate talent each time. As a very simplified example, someone might respon to threat with the Flight response, because it worked in a dire situation and the brain decided "that saved us, this is how we will respond from now on".

Hajime, in the game, gets a sudden bump out of those pathways, enabling him to feel things properly and be fully present in his life. Thematically, the big Super Sayian moment is him deciding to not fall into old, but true and tried, brain patterns, and instead taking on the horrific experience of being human, with all the messy Emotions and Failures that comes with it.

When he wakes up from the game, he still struggles, but the artificial boost from his old thinking as well as a conscious, strenuous, painful effort to not repress himself anymore but instead face the things that he did and were done to him, make him able to carve himself into a new Him.

Not the same, in the sense that WHO could say they're the same as they were before a simulated murder game that revealed that you were a killing machine terrorist and so were your friends. But the same as in, he's Hajime Hinata and he decides what exactly that means. To want is an emotion, and he wants to become someone who can experience life fully, and chasing that single feeling of Want opens up the doors to everything else. You might've heard this before but "before you change, you have to want to change".

So in short. What enabled him to get Hopeful so to speak was the combination of a brain kick (you could call that a metaphor for outside help), and a concrete decision to try to do the difficult but right thing. Sounds kind of boring maybe, but everything else comes later - like his interest and care for his friends, an enjoyment of philosophy and the arts, a pleasure from being useful and helpful, a serenity from accepting things as they are, and a thrill that comes with strong genuine emotion (from my own life, sometimes a single moment of !!!! can carry you on for months).

Yes the whole thing is a metaphor for getting better with mental health stuff. It's personal to me okay 😂

(also I like the idea from Miggys fic that his human connections override the apathy and distance so as long as he's around the people he loves he can hold onto what keeps him going)

I love thinking about and building on characters too! Spending tons of time inspecting them like a specimen 🤝 people (and therefore characters) are very interesting to me so I just like rolling them around my brain. Thank you for your interest and kind words!

[on-a-lucky-tide]

Hi! I've recently found your blog, skimmed your blog, obsessed over your blog, screamed, rolled, kicked my legs over your blog because yes. Peak writing! The way you flesh out characters is to DIE for and honestly? The dynamics are so complicated and intricate and so incredibly human that I feel like I can bite your blorbos (positively)

The way you write Nik has to be my favourite. He's just so big bear man with that rough Russian rizz and everytime I read anything you write of him, I imagine he is just incredibly warm. Like human furnace warm. Like he'd have warm hands and is great for winter cuddles, but hell on earth for summer cuddles.

Thanks for the great stuff, man. You feed the fandom well :)

(Ps, sorry about the anon ask. You're so incredibly cool and talented and cool that I got too nervous ;w;)

Ahh, Anon this is so sweet. Thank you so much. It pleases me greatly that my blog is a pleasant place to be (even with the random asides for the gym and stuff, sometimes I do worry that people find that shit annoying, but I guess that's what blacklisting is for... and, uh, it's a personal blog not a brand, so, eh. But anyway, I digress.)

I said a while back I write Nik as the personification of "hips first", but I love that his warmth comes across too. I think he is a genuine and warm person with the people he loves, and an absolute lunatic to everyone else. Real gentleness comes from the capacity to commit acts of great violence/cruelty. Nik absolutely has that, but he chooses to fight at Price's side, he chooses to help Laswell, he chooses to be their exfil in even the worst missions, he chooses not to give in to the darker parts of himself. He's just such a cool character. Mulling over his motivations, what made him into Nikolai, presents endless enjoyment for me. Also, Price Wrecking Hours. Delicious. I will bake that cake for all of us all day every day.

Please don't be shy. I am a dork on main with massive imposter syndrome. I really just like talking to people. Gimme a chance and I promise I'll be a good boy?

[love-toxin]

Share some of your recs! I need some new crushes!

MEOW!!! ok!! tbh most of my top ones u probably already heard of or seen b4 LOL but first is probably the first Scream (1996) !! (also this list is in no particular order LMAO)

- based. classic. matthew lillard <33 all the goodies!! one of the first horrors i ever watched under my parent's noses LOL. 14 year old me was bisexually smitten <3

- og tcm, tcm the beginning, and leatherface! i also actually liked the 2022 version even if it wasn't particularly spectacular compared to the others--brain empty leatherface hot <33 (also there's some dilf eye candy u might enjoy hehe)

- friday the 13th 1 & 2! the og is soooo close to my heart i love. him <3

- carrie & jennifer's body......lesbians u know what's up.....i love weird <3 off-putting <3 unhinged <3 rage-fueled <3 demonic women <33

- the boy (2016)...................brahmsie.........he got me by the throat 💀💀 unfortunately i am not immune to huge dong-itis

- fear street! the whole trilogy is great (lotsa cuties <3 its got maya hawke!) but the 2nd installment (1978) is my favourite!! summer camp + interesting lore + continuity + axe-wielding maniac ahhhh! also im workin on the part 2 for my tommy slater fic 4 those who liked it hehe

- the ritual (2018) and prey (2021) are two non-slasher horrors i rlly like too! the ritual was based on a book i rlly enjoyed & its about 4 friends who go on a hiking trip in sweden n get lost n hunted by an eldritch deity--very cool if u like psych thrillers! prey's a german film (it's a little slow at times but i liked it!) so long as u don't mind subtitles its pretty good! same vein as the ritual, friends in the woods gettin lost & hunted n its got lotsa blood. i found it pretty creepy at times & the plot twists were cool imo! would you rather (2012) is another non-slasher i liked that's more death game media but i haven't watched it in a longass time so i can't speak on how good it holds up LOL

- most likely to die (2015). now. hear me out. i don't think a single person ive recced this movie to irl has unironically enjoyed it & not made fun of me for liking it but it has a special place in my heart........listen. it's dumb. but it has a psycho in it that i kinda love & i actually RLLY like the design of the graduate. so! if u have nothing better to do then give it a watch ehe </3

- for korean movie enjoyers: #alive, zombie movie so not rlly horror but the protagonist is a cutie & i got properly spooked in a few places! train to busan in the same vein, zombie movie + dilf protagonist + unending horrors <3 which brings me to not a movie but a netflix series: the silent sea! properly spooky dystopian space scifi that most certainly gave me the willies!! reccing it also cause....hehe....dilf

anyways! those r just off the top of my head so there's probably lots more im not thinkin of, & i got lots to watch now thanx to the recs so im gonna be goin on more deep dives <33 muahahaha!

[lily-orchard-gossip-blog]

Time to do another dramatic reading of our least favourite avatar.

Today, I will be subjecting myself and all of you to the vignette titled "space".

Unfortunately, it's not about the cool space. Which is a shame, because that would have less incest in it.

I wish I was joking.

So we once again start off with a republic city tabloid making the Avatar upset.

That is twice that this framing device has been used, and while this vignette came first, I think Lily needs to come up with a better opener. We can only have Niva read so many tabloids, and getting upset by it, as a framing device so many times before I start to question why Niva keeps reading them.

And because the author has a barely disguised fetish, we get to jump right into the incest using the tabloids as an excuse:

WHO TALKS LIKE THAT TO THEIR SISTER????

If people are reading your behaviour as romantic, to the point that it's getting printed into tabloids, it really makes me question just what you were doing to give off that impression. (We get a good idea of this pretty fast in this vignette.)

If I didn't know they were sisters, I would think they are dating.

Because this is a couple spat.

As for the claim that people can't comprehend sincere devotion without sex, well, if the Avatar and her sister are always touching each other in public in the ways that lovers do, then it isn't the public who is misreading the situation.

Again, this isn't how SIBLING'S talk.

This is how romantic partners speak to each other.

If I can pull this lines out, and show them to a total normie, and they would think this is a couple, then you have written a romance, not a sisterly bond.

And I'm sorry, but if someone is always having their arms wrapped around each other in rather intimate ways, and talking about how devoted they are to said person, then people are going to make assumptions. It's not them misunderstanding what they're seeing or reading too much into it. It's them seeing how too people are acting, and making a conclusion.

Alright, moving on.

Here's a red flag for any relationship:

Our supposedly confident, self actualized Avatar needs an excuse to assert her boundaries.

So either the Avatar isn't actually a confident, self actualized badass like Lily claims, or, her sister has reacted negatively to demands for space in the past, making the avatar nervous about asking for said space without an excuse.

Either way, this is yikes behaviour, and something any other author would explore, but we all know Lily won't explore it.

We then get a little bit about how Niva hate's Republic City because it makes her feel overwhelmed and overstimulated, which if Niva is meant to be on the spectrum, is a nice bit of character building.

We then get them bashing the food in Republic City because it's "corporate" and then Lavi tells her to "just be honest about her need for space", they hug, and we end on this groaner:

Probably the most normal part of this relationship, and guess what?

It sucks.

I think it's the last two lines. They just scream "I need a witty closer".

And that was Space.

I think I need Space from it. 🤣😭

This was another episode in our growing series called "the author's barely disguised fetish". And while I'm certain Lily gets a lot of enjoyment out of subjecting people to it without their knowledge or consent, I do not.

And I went into this knowing exactly what it was going to contain.

To summarize my thoughts on this literal nothingburger of a story...

I don't have any.

Despite being gross because of the incest, it really doesn't actually tell you much about the characters outside Niva feeling like she can't even ask for space from her sister, which would be fine... if Niva wasn't supposed to be a self-confident badass. So now it just reads as problematic, but we all know this will never be addressed.

Honestly, the incest is the only thing that either of those characters have going for them, and that's both parts gross, tragic and hilarious.

Now get out of my house.