#if it was paced differently or wasn't so dumbed down and repeated

[dropthedemiurge]

I'm finally catching up on High School Frenemy before the finale and Saint giving up on Shin could be so dramatic and sad if it wasn't so funny xD

I can't tell if it's because of writing or editing but now I remember why it got a bit harder for me to watch after 6th episode (gonna leave it in tags)

[midnight-black2]

dom!reader x farleigh that begs to touch

her— like he’s so needy he literally cries if he can’t and basically he’s a super mega munch !

𝐇𝐀𝐍𝐃𝐒 ��𝐎 𝐘𝐎𝐔𝐑𝐒𝐄𝐋𝐅

pairing : farleigh start x reader

synopsis : farleigh has to be able to keep his hands to himself for a night in order to reap pleasurable rewards

disclaimers : smut, sub!farleigh, dom!reader, fem!reader, whiny!farleigh, reward..system...? (is this a warning? idk but i'm putting it anyway), p in v (pretend there's a condom k?), fast-paced

note : y'all i hope this isn't ooc bc i made him like very whiny and needy but...either way, hope you enjoy !

farleigh whined the second you mentioned it--the fact that he wouldn't be able to have his hands on you.

"it's a formal dinner, farleigh. you know how it is," you said, finishing your eyeliner. he sighed dramatically, before appearing behind you in your vanity. "i mean, minor touches are fine, but i don't want everyone to get the wrong thought."

"but Y/N, it's just how i am!" he argued, crossing his arms over his chest.

"no buts, this is non-negotiable farleigh," you replied, in a firmer tone. this was important, you wanted the cattons to think highly of you. after all, it was their house and they had the ability to kick you out whenever. he sighed once again, before leaning down so his face was next to yours.

"please?" he pleaded, kissing your cheek, giving you puppy eyes.

"i'll tell you what, if you can go the whole dinner while keeping your hands to yourself, then i'll reward you," you proposed. he seemed intrigued, as he quirked a brow.

"reward me how?" he queried, looking at you curiously.

and that's how it began, a deal that was too difficult for farleigh to pass up. i mean, why wouldn't he want to be fucked dumb later?

the dinner went relatively well. the family was impressed by you. you were witty, smart, and eloquent. they liked you, and that was the most you could ask for. so, as promised, as soon as you and farleigh reached your room his lips had crashed onto yours. he had waited the entire night, you didn't expect anything less. however, you were still a bit taken aback. once you finally pulled away, the two of you were panting heavily.

"a little eager, are we?" you teased.

"oh shut up," he replied. the threat was meaningless; simply a fruitless attempt to cover up just how needy he really was. he rushed to sit down on the bed, pulling you on top of him. you kissed him with fervor, and he sighed into it, clearly enjoying himself. maybe you had made him too entitled, but he needed it so badly.

your hand traveled down his body, sending a shiver up his spine. you slowly lifted up his shirt, and over his head. your hand continued its odyssey down his body. when your fingers grazed his nipples, he swore he could have came just from that. his hard-on was only growing.

"what do you want, farleigh?" you asked, smiling at him.

"what-what do you mean?" he questioned, breathily.

"well it's your reward, so tell me, what do you want?" you repeated, your hand nearing where he needed you most.

"i want to be inside, please. you know this, please," he begged, body squirming in anticipation. you hummed, and started at the zipper of his pants. you slowly undid it, and pulled down his jeans. he helped you in the action by lifting his hips up. you then removed his boxers, and watched his cock spring up. he seemed painfully hard. pre was oozing out of his slit steadily, he was a mess.

you sat up, straddling his lap, and you could see him glowing with excitement. i mean, it's farleigh, he's always excited for sex. but deprived farleigh was a different story.

you undressed yourself, feeling his eyes boring into you. he wasn't so subtle about literally anything, so it wasn't much of a surprise that he practically stared at your cunt, before you sunk down on him, engulfing him whole. he let out a loud moan, furrowing his brows in content. you felt so good around him, warm and inviting.

"there it is, you did so good for me tonight, farleigh," you cooed, brushing his curls away from his face so you could see his features contorted with pleasure. he whined, throwing his head back as you fucked him slowly, yet slightly rough. you let out a low groan, grinding against him.

"f-fuck Y/N," he whimpered, shutting his eyes closed. it was heavenly, too much yet not enough at the same time. you grinned at him, he looked divine like this. crying out your name as he writhed beneath you.

"i know you've been waiting for it baby. bet you're glad you did so, hm?" you said, with a chuckle. he nodded, letting out another frail moan.

"oh my god, s-shit," he cursed, as your pace increased. you moved up and down, back and forth.

"fucking hell farleigh, you're so big," you muttered. he smirked, but it quickly melted away when you kissed his lips softly. it continued like that, but not for long. he had been holding it for awhile, and he knew he wouldn't last long.

"fuck, Y/N i'm gonna cum."

"cum whenever you want, farleigh. this is your reward," you answered, feeling yourself near your orgasm too. he whined as you dug your nails into his skin slightly, fucking him at an animalistic speed.

"c-cumming!" he choked out, meaning in the process. as he filled you up, your high came as well. he was shaking gently underneath you, muttering a string of curses along with your name.

"there you go, that's it," you said underneath your breath, as you coaxed him through it. you planted a feathery kiss on his lips.

"thank you," he breathed out, eyes still closed. you smiled.

"my pleasure."

𝟐𝟎𝟐𝟒 © 𝐤𝐲𝐚-𝐢𝐬-𝐤𝐨𝐨𝐥

𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐫𝐬𝐭𝐲? 𝐟𝐢𝐧𝐝 𝐦𝐲 𝐦𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭 𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞

[randomperson99sworld]

Ruffled Feathers 🪶

~ Part 47 ~

Summary: Julia Morgan, Bobby's niece, has always been a royal thorn in Dean Winchesters ass since the day they met 1 year ago at Bobby's memorial. She wants to be a hunter, he thinks she's a dumb kid playing dress up. Will she always be seen as an unwanted load in Dean's eyes or will he see something more?

Pairing: Dean x OC

Warnings: Age gap, language, sexual themes (used lightly), physical abuse (Not by Dean).

Word Count: 633

A/N: Oh boy, will Dean get to Julia in time?? 🫣 Stated as always, this story is cross posted on Wattpad. Happy reading! ♥️

Dean paced back and forth outside the bunker, the vision still fresh in his mind, playing on repeat like a bad horror flick he couldn't turn off.  Sam was out for the day and left the bunker locked. His heart was racing as he dialed Sam's number, waiting impatiently for his brother to answer.

"Dean?" Sam's voice came through the phone, immediately picking up on the tension.

"Sam, I had a vision," Dean said, his voice tight. "It was about Julia. I think... I think it's the demon that tried to kill her in the crash."

Sam was silent for a beat. "A vision? You think it's the Mark?"

Dean swallowed hard, staring down at the dirt beneath his boots. "Maybe. It felt different, though. Like it wasn't just in my head this time. Like it was real. I saw her, Sam. She got stabbed. There was so much blood. I can't shake it."

"Dean, we've been looking for that demon since the crash," Sam reminded him. "There's been no sign of him."

"I know," Dean snapped, frustration boiling over. "But we missed something, I'm telling you. This wasn't just a random nightmare. This was a warning."

Sam sighed. "Okay. We'll keep digging. See if we can track him down."

Dean checked the time. Julia would be getting off work soon. He didn't want to freak her out while she was still at the clinic, so he decided to wait. "I'm gonna head over to the clinic. I'll call her when she's about to leave."

"Be careful, Dean," Sam warned.

"Yeah, you too," Dean muttered, before hanging up and jumping into the Impala. He sped toward the vet clinic, his grip on the steering wheel tight as he tried to push the panic out of his mind. The image of Julia lying there, bleeding, kept flashing before his eyes. He couldn't lose her. Not now.

As the clock neared the time Julia usually got off, Dean pulled over to the side of the road and dialed her number. His heart was pounding as the phone rang, waiting for her to answer.

"Hey, Dean," Julia said, her voice light. "What's up? I'm just closing up now, about to head out to my car."

Dean's throat tightened. "Julia, listen to me. You need to be careful. I... I think the demon that caused the crash is still after you."

"What?" she asked, her voice immediately tensing with concern. "Dean, are you serious?"

"Dead serious. Just... stay on the phone with me, okay? Until you're in your car."

"Okay," she said, her footsteps echoing through the line as she made her way outside. "I'm heading to the car now."

Dean's stomach twisted as he listened to the silence on her end, his heart pounding louder with every second. He was just about to tell her to hurry when he heard it—the sound of a struggle, a sudden gasp from Julia.

"Julia?!" Dean shouted, his grip tightening on the phone. "Julia, what's happening?"

Then came the low, menacing voice. "Well, looks like we have some unfinished business."

Dean's blood turned to ice. It was the demon.

"Julia, run!" Dean yelled into the phone, his voice desperate. "Get the hell out of there!"

But all he heard was a scuffle, the sound of Julia's phone clattering to the ground before everything went silent.

"JULIA!" Dean roared, throwing the Impala into gear and speeding down the road toward the clinic. His pulse pounded in his ears, his mind spinning with fear and fury. The vision was playing out in real time, and if he didn't get there fast enough... No. He wasn't going to let this happen.

He slammed his foot down on the gas, the Impala roaring as he raced toward her, praying he wasn't too late.

[simpingandprocrastinating]

𝙀𝙌𝙐𝘼𝙉𝙄𝙈𝙄𝙏𝙔 - 𝘊𝘏𝘈𝘗𝘛𝘌𝘙 𝘛𝘞𝘌𝘕𝘛𝘠-𝘛𝘞𝘖

𝟮𝟮| 𝗦𝗢𝗟𝗔𝗖𝗘

· · ───────────── ·𐂃· ───────────── · ·

"Then stop making that face, it doesn't suit you." An awkward silence overtook the two as Maria stood there, confused by his words.

'It doesn't suit me?' She thought. Did it mean she was somewhat pretty to him? Perhaps this was a weird way for Levi to compliment her face when she wouldn't be frowning or maybe she was just looking into it way too deep. The honey-blonde shook her head and made her way past his form.

"Then I just have to go and visit our Commander. The only problem here is that I don't have a horse and I can't take any of the others." "I will take you in the morning," Levi spoke in return.

"Alright," Maria muttered while brushing some dirt off her pants. "If you don't mind." "I wouldn't have told you so if I didn't." The ravenette sighed and went to turn around. "Right..." She trailed off.

"You're up for a walk?" "Huh?"

"Are you gonna keep this up all night? Because every time you seem to open your mouth, some idiot starts talking. Don't make me repeat myself." Maria scrunched up her face and blinked at his response.

"Harsh." Although Levi was being his usual rude self, she didn't fail to hear the small chuckle that escaped his lips after her little comment. Seeing a certain playful side to this man would be counted as something really rare, but hearing him laugh quietly made her believe she'd at least grown a little closer to him in these weeks.

"But yeah, I'd love to take a walk." "Come on then."

Maria didn't have to let him tell her twice and went to grab her crutch that she had popped up against some hay bales. This time the short male made sure to wait so she could catch up. As the two walked on in silence, Maria made sure to check on the watchtower where she caught a glimpse of Armin's blonde hair.

Being couped up in a cabin with seven teens made Maria think back to her early Scout days. She also realized how different things had worked out considering she never envisioned becoming a Lieutenant in the first place. Aside from that, Maria finally got the chance to talk to each new squad member separately. Except for Historia – who still didn't talk much after she made her past known to the squad, the morning after they arrived at the cabin. That's why Maria took the time to get to know all of them a little better one on one, despite the fact most of them had already spoken to her before.

Even when she was still dealing with the loss of their old squad, Maria felt like Levi had done a great job at picking the new squad. Now that Jean was around her again, she reminded herself how grateful she was for being able to survive for so long.

"Something's on your mind." "It's funny how you can read me so easily these days." But the truth was, Levi had always been able to read the small woman, this time wasn't an exception. Walking on at a slow pace, Maria began to speak again.

"In all honesty, I somehow imagined everything would be different when I joined the Scouts." She began while Levi turned to watch the side of her face. "I felt like I had nothing to live for. Now I realize that Jean was - and still is - a great part of my life. But back then, joining the Survey Corps was for me to escape."

At first, Levi didn't answer and just listened to what she had to say. Although this wasn't the first time Maria would speak in such a vague manner, Levi couldn't help but ask himself what she meant by 'escape'. Surely Erwin knew about her past, but she never brought it up when she was with anyone else. But Levi wasn't dumb either, looking back at how frail and insecure she'd been, he just put two and two together. Just like him, she'd had a shitty past growing up in Trost, or at least something close to that. Even so, comparing the underground with Trost District would be like trying to compare apples to oranges. So it had to come down to something that affected her family, maybe a past relationship, or some kind of incident.

"Here I thought I was going to be an ordinary squad member and die at some point just like everyone else seems to do..." A soft laugh rolled over her lips. "God that really sounds pathetic, but right now I just can't believe I've been doing this for over five years...

"What I actually meant to say is; ever since the expedition, it feels like the weight on my shoulders has increased tenfold... I'm looking over the squad whenever you and Hanji aren't here, and not just because of this. I can't help but think about when I had to take over when Eld died, and my inability to lead because I felt like I wasn't ready to do it. Right now, I feel like I have to be ready for anything because things are bound to go down any day now... This squad needs you more than anything and here I am not even ready to fight whenever you need me to. You and Hanji put in your effort to at least get Erwin to see I'm not completely useless, which didn't even work may I add... Not that I'm not grateful, I just don't think I'm a priority like you've been saying multiple times already, with everything going on regarding Eren and Historia."

Levi scoffed as he stared up at the star-filled sky.

"You're looking too much into it. If that's what you're worried about, then stop. Also, I don't know why you feel the need to take care of everyone all the time but, guiding these brats and training, I know it's tough on you. But you don't owe me anything Bambi, if anything, I owe you for being the one to keep everything together. With that dumb giddy smile of yours..."

'If you think I'm a born leader, you're wrong.' Levi let a sigh roll over his thin lips.

"That may be so, but I can't think of anyone better to lead this squad and give them instructions - when it comes down to cleaning - than you Levi. Meanwhile, I'm trying to make sure Sasha doesn't eat our entire food supply." Maria snickered.

"Speaking about cleaning, they still lack proper cleaning skills." "Yes, that's what you're worried about." She now smirked, earning an ominous look from the raven-haired male. "Hey, you do you. I'm not questioning your ways."

"You know I will keep you responsible if those brats aren't doing it right." Levi couldn't help but enjoy seeing the honey-blonde protest at his words. A content feeling washed over his body and for once he felt at ease again being in her presence, just like before everything became complicated.

· · ─── · ·

The next morning Levi kept his promise by taking Maria back to Trost District. The way to HQ had been silent for most of the ride, but Maria didn't seem to mind as much as she thought she would. Being caged in by Levi's arms made her feel safe, although she'd imagined it would be awkward at first. The talk they had the night before had eased her mind. Maria also reminded herself Levi didn't know about the feelings she held for him, so she was able to push those thoughts away and enjoy the moment.

Now she stood in front of Erwin's room, the honey-blonde contemplated about entering. The past few weeks hadn't done much good between her and Erwin and she felt hesitant about speaking to him. She had called him names and even threw a book at him in a moment of anger. Not to forget that the man hadn't been amused when he found out Maria had joined them in Ehrmich District. The only consolation she had right before facing Erwin, was that Levi told her he would join them as soon as he was done with whatever he needed to do.

Maria just wanted it to be over with and knocked on his door. "Erwin... It's Maria, you wanted to see me?" The way she spoke was pretty informal, but for now, she couldn't bother to use her title for he had dismissed her anyway. Awaiting his answer, she took notice of the many MP's in the hallway.

"Come in Maria."

When she entered the room, Maria's eyes fell on Erwin's stubbled face. She sure wasn't used to seeing him with a beard and unstyled hair. Next, her eyes drifted off to where his arm was supposed to be and grimaced in reaction to seeing it for the first time.

"Hanji kept going on about how she got you to walk again. I couldn't help but want to see for myself." Erwin began, a small smile adorning his roughed face.

"Stop beating around the bush Erwin, why is it you want to see me now. Is it because you want my pity?" It may have come out harder than she intended to, but she did not regret telling him to get straight to the point.

"I got what I deserved I suppose. I do want to make a sincere apology, but I won't be holding any expectations for you to accept it." The honey-blonde let out a soft sigh as she made her way to his bed to sit down next to it.

"I must say, it's incredible to see you on your feet again."

"These days have been challenging," She began. "My leg is getting stronger, and I can walk to a certain extent, although I still have to use a crutch from time to time. Hanji, Levi, and the squad have been a great help, and I wouldn't be here, like this, if it weren't for them."

Maria's doe eyes made contact with Erwin's piercing blue ones, showing the same determination as to when she started to train all those years ago.

"But I do accept it."

· · ────────────── · ────────────── · ·

< 𝗣𝗥𝗘𝗩𝗜𝗢𝗨𝗦 𝗖𝗛𝗔𝗣𝗧𝗘𝗥 | 𝗜𝗡𝗗𝗘𝗫 | 𝗡𝗘𝗫𝗧 𝗖𝗛𝗔𝗣𝗧𝗘𝗥 >

[julietas-basil]

When alma find out who was the guy that had done the hickeys (obviously Agustin since he's the only boyfriend she ever had), she cornered him and I don't have inspiration for what happened, but damn she was mad

I'm supposed to be studying but-

For the sake of julistín obvs

--------------------------------------------------

“Alma hurried down the streets of the Encanto,averting her age from one passage to another trying to spot that Tall guy,that was diving into her Daughter's dress ever so often- She clenched the pitch-black pongo closed with one fist,supporting herself onto the walls of the Casas with the other...

Her breaths came short,after managing to spot that specific young man,her heart reaching its highest pace. She let a curse roll off her tongue,as she practically chased a young Agustín between the rock made paths. ' How can he walk so fast? ' She thought out of frustration,only for an idea to pop in her mind-

She hummed in thought,quickly stepping onto a different path than the one planned. She shifted her steps through the dusty road,popping right in front of the racing man,who yelped in surprise

"Señora Madrigal-"

"Buenos Días,Niño. May I have a talk with you?"

Agustín nodded nervously,in repeat sweat dripping over his temples. Alma coughed in a manner to help herself regain her regal posture. Back straightening,inhales,eyes slowly flattering open-

"I saw you in a very intimate encounter with my daughter Young boy."

His view was all of a sudden accompanied by a very Angry Alma, a pointing finger came to proudly standing in front of his chin,his eyes staring carefully at the limp that almost threatened to take his life-

"I WANT no funny bussiness with my Julieta do you understand-"

"Yes Señ-"

Before he could make an agreement with the old matriarch,his speech ended with her immediate interruption.

"YOU are not allowed to speak in my presence!

Esto es para mi hija,so you must listen to me adolescente intrépido-"

The bee boy gulped,trying to ease the burning knot down his throat. He didn't know whether he should fear for his life or run off into the distance. Doña Alma was a person he respected but he never knew her research would evolve that deep...

"Julieta is not a young girl for you to play around or be exploited by some youngsters like you! You better find a good excuse to explain yourself because I can make sure you will never be able to see her again!"

Agustin released his stressful gesture,relaxing his grimace only to be tensed again

"Julieta is a perfectly,good mannered young woman,with a rather charming wit...IF I ever catch you staring at someone else OTHER-

Than her. You are dead and you don't even know it."

Alma grasped at his creme Camisa,tagging furiously the fabric,almost hissing at the last syllables,through her pearly white teeth. Agustín's swallow was definately heard louder than expected,making Alma smile and whisk her hands together as she finished her sentimental paragraph-

"Are we clear Señorito?"

" ¡S-Sí! "

Agustin frantically moved his head,a toothy awkward smile on its way throug. The older woman cleared her throat again,returning her formal posture as if nothing happened between the two. She opened her eyes,hands holding for a second time her pongo firmly,a genuine smile spreading through her face now-

"Have A great day hombre...joven.

I hope my words were a very friendly reminder. Greetings to your Familia-"

The woman in her mid 40s,nodded her head slightly,walking down the path towards the sun-showered squared,a few citizens' voices echoing in the distance as they greeted the Older adult. Agustin,was left dumb-founded,fixing his collar vigorously and rushing to his home.

How could he be so accidental...of course falling onto random accidents was his specialty but the poor boy made sure to find a very secluded place but special for the couple,he knew risking it publicly wasn't in Julieta's favor as much as he desired to teaser her under the risk of getting caught...

He grinned lightly at the thought of his time with Julieta,the way her skin glowed under the golden sun and how her Whiskey eyes sparkled in the shadows. Her pepper waves brushing over his neck-

"Ow-!"

His thoughts were suddenly paused,after a door slapped open onto his nose,he yelped in pain holding his nose,while the old lady mumbled a few apologies. By wrapping her hand around his arm he guided the young man over the healer's stall. At least his thoughts will be alleviated by seeing the God blessed image of his healing heroine...that would really southe the pain in his nose both ways.

[mykingdomforasong]

“I’ve dreamt about this” for skymandolo? 😊

[prompt list]

(this is very dumb and not very sexy lmao. Rated M)

Han's lips were on his, and Din's hand was tracing down his stomach until --

"Yes," Luke breathed. Something between them had shifted earlier in the evening, as if they'd all come to the same conclusion: they wanted each other desperately, tonight, and all at once.

He and Han were nothing new. They'd dated before, and they'd been friends with benefits on and off for years. And Luke new Din wasn't a stranger to either of them. Luke's saber training with Din had more than once lead to sweaty tumbles on the training ground, and Han had bragged about sucking him off once. But this felt different. This felt solid, sure, almost permanent.

Luke had felt all of this before. It'd been a repeating dream, every move of it appearing to him in his sleep a few nights a week for the last few weeks.

"I've dreamt about this," Luke said.

Han smiled. "Me too." Han kissed him.

"No, I mean ... like I've had this exact dream before."

Han leaned back and stared at him confused. Din's hand on his cock still, as Din turned to look at him as well.

"You're telling me," Han said, "that your wet dreams are prophetic?"

Luke hesitated for a moment, before nodding. He tried to pull Han back for a kiss to get the evening back on track, but Han stayed put.

"The Force is horny," Han said. Din grimaced.

Luke wasn't exactly sure if it was a question or not. Against his better judgement and in line with his impulses he added: "It has gotten at least one person pregnant."

Din moved back as if he were somehow in danger.

"What?" Han asked. "Who? When?"

"My grandmother, so I guess ... fifty, sixty years ago?" Luke said.

"So you don't have a grandfather?" Han asked.

"I do on my mother's side."

"But on your father's?"

"It's the Force."

Han laughed in disbelief, and got out of bed to pace in astonishment.

"I don't want to doubt your grandmother," Din said, "but is it possible she's lying?"

"It was corroborated by Jedi sources and the Force ghosts," Luke said.

"Oh well if the Force ghosts say it ...!" Han almost yelled.

"What? I feel like a virgin birth would be a pretty hard thing to convince people of unless there was good evidence for it," Luke said.

Din and Han looked at him like he'd grown a second head.

"It just seems unlikely," Din said.

"What, do you both just think the Jedi Order was stupid?" Luke said, his face a little red with embarrassment and frustration.

Han got back into bed, cupping his cheeks in his hands to kiss him softly before pulling away to respond: "Baby, you don't want me to answer that."

Luke pushed him away.

"Can we just ..." Luke started. He looked at Din for help, "get back to it?"

This time when Han leaned in, Luke let him stay. But Din hesitated to get close to him.

"What?" Luke asked.

"Do we need like ... Force condoms?" He asked. Han laughed. Luke was tempted to roll his eyes, but he could tell Din was serious.

"I think we're going to be okay," Luke said.

"You don't sound very sure," Din said, leaning in anyways.

"Trust me, I'm not that powerful," Luke said.

Din and Han looked past him to stare at each other. "No, you kind of are," Din said as Han said "You are shockingly powerful."

Luke smiled with pride. "Then I can control that power," he said. He leaned over to kiss Din.

"Ah," Han said behind him, pressing kisses into his shoulder, "so you are our Force condom."

Din broke the kiss to laugh, as Luke used the Force to roll Han away until he was tumbling off the bed.

[severin-eudes-dorian]

Say whatever you want about Tumblr, it's outdated format, its general lack of purpose, I love the place.

Not least of all, because I owe this place my life.

I may be exagerating, I may be using the locution with an emphasis that has, overall, little bearing with what eventually transpired, but I don't care, this is how I feel about it, and so I will say.

(TW; Suicidal Ideations +/- Trauma in general I guess)

Maybe it's about the kindness of strangers, repeated and echoed here ad infinitum, even so it's nothing but raw, messy feelings distilled into a few good words and akward attempts at humor to make it more palatable, but the sheer number of visibility pushes for struggling individual, and random people trying their hardest to let other know they in fact -do- matter, and life is worth living, all of it, it kept me from harming myself.

This hodge-podge of good feelings and popular education attempts, or self-organized suicide hotline, it made the difference, all the difference, to me.

I'm depressed. Been so since 2014, or the better part of a decade.

I hit rock bottom in 2020: but Covid was actually -good- to me. Lockdowns upon lockdowns made me feel like the world actually slowed down, and that I could keep up the pace again.

But prior to that, it was HELL.

I had suicidal ideation almost every day for eight years, but it was rarely more than a buzz, often times more so a whisper, like a constant leak you can't find nor fix somewhere in your flat: you eventually decide that your broke ass will deal with it when a fucking wall crumble or something.

But it wasn't a trickle anymore. It was fucking NIAGARA-FALLS, CONSTANTLY, ALL DAY, EVERYDAY. Even at night, I dreamt mostly of very traumatic stuff, that made me -wish- to end it all.

It didn't stop overnight. I didn't wake up one day, "Normal" : I guess I'll never feel that way ever again, but that's okay. Because at least, I feel good again sometimes: and more than that, nowadays I feel FUCKING FINE, MOST DAYS, ALL DAY.

To me this is huge.

And my stupid emotional anchor, my dumb lifeboat in this sea of garbage, during the worst of it, it as been this post that get reblogged Xthousands times, a tweet that reads "There is no dumb reason to stay alive" with half a dozen dumb reasons under it.

And another one, that reads "You wouldn't X to outlive you would you?" X being some rando A-Lister Arsehole on the US far right.

And YES. EVERYTHING WAS VALID. EVERYTHING WAS GOOD. EVEN SPITE. PARTICULARLY SPITE.

Because even at my lowest, when I felt like a burden to half the working world, and irrelevant to the rest, I -knew- at least I wasn't a worthless piece of trash -actively- trying to make life worse for untold number of others: if I didn't matter, at least I didn't matter in a way that was causinf sufferinf to thousands, millions, or even billion of people.

And it mattered. To me. In the end.

I'm deeply materialist. I don't believe in magic, the supernatural, or any force in the universe that would influence the destiny of humankind, let alone the universe, in any way whatsoever.

To me, we're in it deep, and we're in it alone people: but we're alone with ourselves, all of humanity.

And even the kind words of strangers, given a fulcrum, and a long enough stick, can lift the world.

Tumblr was fulcrum enough to lift me up at least.

I love this dumpster fire of a site, this perpetually happening train-wreck, and it gave back.

I'm deeply grateful for the kindness of strangers, and I guess I'm deeply grateful for all of you.

Just, thank you for existing: one of us, me, made it through a rough patch, and if I wasn't for nothing in this endeavor, I don't know if I would have made it at all on the other side alone.

The beast ain't dead. Guess this shit never ends, and like Camus said, Sisyphus may need to learn to love pushing this fucking boulder.

Good: I love rocks.

And I can say, I love you all.

Thank you.

[sweetescapeartist]

DBS COLORING BOOK CHAPTER 73 REVIEW

Alright... let's do this.

The first 4 pages are good. Good flow, not too many pages, no dialogue (thank God). Page 5 is where the paneling gets unnecessary. The last 2 panels aren't needed.

Page 6 is absolutely stupid. Goku & Granolah are flying at extremely high speeds, Goku is firing ki blasts that are moving at a higher velocity than he is currently moving, Granolah moves even faster in order to dodge Goku's ki blasts, then Granolah is using his scarf that is wrapped around a tree to swing around the tree & get behind Goku... A SCARF.

The scarf would tear apart instantly if Granolah tried to use it to catapult/swing himself around faster than Goku can perceive.

YOU: "The scarf is probably really strong tho!"

Sure let's assume that. In that case, the tree would be uprooted from the velocity Granolah is moving. Either way, it doesn't make sense. If this was early Dragon Ball and Yamcha did something like this when fighting Goku, then yeah it would be reasonable and look cool. With the power these characters are at now, it just looks ridiculous and inconvenient. It doesn't work here. Granolah could've easily dodged on his own and much faster that wraping his scarf around the tree.

So Granolah swings around and kicks Goku through tons of trees. (Saiyans killed his ppl but Granolah is killing his planet. Ironic)

Hey look! Another stupid page 😒

Page 7. Goku got sent flying back at a speed capable of easily cutting through tons of trees, but he slows himself down by grabbing a branch & swinging around it? Why? Again, at that speed, Goku would yank the limb of the tree clean off or uproot the entire tree. That wouldn't slow down his speed. He would be better off just stopping in the air on his own as if he applied the emergency breaks. Characters have done that plenty of times. Again, stuff like swinging around trees and tree branches is stuff they would had done in OG Dragon Ball.

Why is Goku blocking like that?? He isn't reinforcing his arm, he's holding his wrist whole his forearm gets punched. That would damage his arm and/or wrist.

*Boom boom! Bam bam!* They hit each other some. But are you ready for this? Pages 11-12...!

Why did Goku yell as if he is transforming? He is using Ultra Instinct, right? You don't yell to power that up. Remember the Moro arc? He calmly breathes to go into the state. Remember the chapter before? He calmly closes his eyes to focus. Why is he yelling then tapping into UI? Because Toyotaro can't write consistently. This page was...! just dumb...

Also... What is this SSB with Ultra Instinct then? You remember the SSB aura around UI Omen in the Moro arc? What's the difference between "Blue plus Ultra Instinct" & "Ultra Instinct plus Blue?"

Granolah says he can read Goku's blood flow and cell movements. That should come in handy later when he could potentially find a weakeness in Goku using UI. Hopefully Goku doesn't tell him he can't stay in the form too long. 🤞

SSB with UI is more focused that lower forms in combination with UI. Goku should be nearly untouchable. Pages 13 - 14 show how well Goku can dodge. Looks like ballet in a way, like Goku us dancing around him. I like that. Then he uses a point blank Kamehameha. Looks cool. But it turns out that Granolah simultaneously hit Goku somehow. Not a complaint here.

Pointless panels of Oil being blown back by the force. Pointless panels of Vegeta not paying attention to the fight and looking around. Pointless 2 panels of smoke clearing away. The entire page doesn't add anything at all. Page 17 could be omitted & it would flow better.

Goku is on the ground for the... 3rd time in this battle? I wish it would at least have Granolah say he didn't realize how difficult UI with SSB would be for him, but he barely saw an opening. That would be some sort of respect for Goku and did some clever foreshadowing. But we get Granolah insulting Goku instead. Whatever.

This "vital points" nonsense is so stupid. Everyone in DB has nearly identical vital points. Majin Vegeta knocked Trunks out by chopping at his vital point. These characters know what vital points are and know them well as we have seen when they were in combat since early DB. Granolah should be saying "My right eye will always find an opening." But maybe its a translation error or something. I won't be too harsh about this one.

Wait wait wait. Lemme get this straight...

Whis trained Goku, then Goku is able to use UI in the ToP.

Merus trains Goku to use UI Omen at will.

Goku later masters UI with silver hair.

Whis points out new flaws that didn't exist then trains Goku even further.

Goku has been trained by 2 Angels to the point of being able to go into Mastered UI at will and recieved further training after mastering the Angelic power. How is it that Goku has the gull to say "No, Ultra Instinct should have no weaknesses. If anything's lacking, it's gotta be my training."

And he's telling Granolah that he is vulnerable for some reason...? He's just foreshadowing for the reader that he will lose. The last 4 or 5 panels of page 19 isn't needed.

Whatever. Let's move on. So on page 20, for some reason, Goku has a confused look & a question mark in his speech bubble after Granolah blames Saiyans for killing his ppl. Maybe Goku doesn't understamd why Granolah is repeating himself for the 3rd or 4th time? Or he wasn't listening the earlier times. Can't blame him. Granolah's speeches bored me too.

Granolah copies Moro & makes lava rise from the core of his beloved home planet in order ro hurt Goku. Poor Sugarians. I wonder if there will be a "You're becoming the bad guy now, Granolah." type of story. Dont really care though. Goku escapes by teleporting. He mentions how Granolah has Moro's move. I guess Granolah is supposed to be like Cell and have others techniques... like Moro before him... They are both altered copies of Cell who is much cooler than both of them combined...

Well, here they are making Vegeta look capable (somehow?). Also its interesting that the bloodthirsty Granolah is allowing Goku & Vegeta to chat about their discovery of who his ppl are. The the ex-detective Vegeta quickly figures out that Maki & Oil fooled them. That was rushed. "But Vegeta was suspicious of them before." Yes, but there was no reason or anything we heard that would make Vegeta suspicious. The writing is bad. Also it's convenient that Oil has a drone all of the sudden to eavesdrop. The last 4 panels of page 24 are pointless.

GOKU: "Hey let's talk to him and clear things up."

VEGETA: "Nah. He's probably too stubborn. Just fight to move the story along instead."

Goku says he hasn't used his full power yet & Vegeta is surprised. How does Vegeta not realize Goku hasn't used his full power, Mastred UI? Then Vegeta says "Tch... Gotta resort to that in the end, huh?" Toyotaro is having Vegeta downplay UI in order to hype up Vegeta's fight next chapter. Bad writing. There's better ways to hype Vegeta up. Toyo chose one of the worst ways to do so.

Granolah... Just standing and waiting for Goku to come back. What a patient revenge fueled man.

UI Goku through the fog looked cool. (And his wounds heal? Ok...) But, seeing that made me realize something else. It would be much cooler if it went from page 22 then skip to page 26!

We don't need Goku & Vegeta chatting. The reveal of UI would not have had a pace breaker. It just happens & you see that Goku is serious now. Show don't tell.

GRANOLAH: "I can't perceive... any vital points?!"

That sounds stupid, so I do think it is a translation error.

GRANOLAH: "I can't perceive... any openings?!"

Now that reads much better! (I also edited the dialogue to "openings" in the pic above.)

Great... Goku conveniently exposed a weakness in UI that Whis had conveniently made up in CH 71. Although, in CH 59 Whis said that Mastered UI doesnt have the stamina issue that UI Omen has. Then in CH 64 it shows that the stamina issue is gone with Mastered UI during the 3 chapter battle with Moro. Goku never looked fatigued or weak in this form. Only time the form went away is when "planet" Moro drained Goku of his energy.

But now Goku & Whis say otherwise. How suddenly contradictory. Page 26 of this current chapter (CH 73) would be better if the last 2 panels were omitted.

Mastsred UI Goku easily takes down Moro- I mean Granolah. Also Goku tries to chat now after attacking Granolah. Should've said something before you start kicking ppl in the face. But this is shown to prove Vegeta is right about not being able to reason with Granolah. Even if it makes no sense.

Cool dodging & aikido type movement from Goku.

Goku using "the force" & stopping Granolah's movements was cool. Reminded me of Goku doing something similar to Broly in the DBS movie. Or more similarly, like Zamasu did in the manga.

I guess Toyotaro is suggesting that the quick flurry of punches is a Master UI kind of move. (Although it originated in the anime when UI Omen Goku was punching back against Jiren & when he did so to block attacks from Jiren in EP 129.) I hope this move isn't over used that it ends up losing its flare.

Vegeta pretends to be upset that Goku defeated Granolah while in the previous chapter, Vegeta told Goku to fight first.

Somehow Vegeta is able to sense that there are 2 Granolahs. You can say because he has spirit control, but Goku has been through that kind of training with Roshi, Kami, & King Kai (possibly some with the Yardrats too which helped him control Super Saiyan at the level he could). And with Instant Transmission, Goku must be an expert in detecting ki. He can feel ki in different realms and locate ppl from far across the galaxy Goku should sense this too. All this writing is doing is trying to make Vegeta appear as the more capable fighter & get Vegeta fans hype for his next battle. That's all.

The switcheroo (I think I used that wrong) of a fake Granolah was a kinda clever idea. But Goku not knowing what "split" means is asinine.

Goku literally says "Split...? What's that mean?"

Goku has seen firsthand when Tien split into multiple Tiens, Goku knows the Yardrats can split themselves into many ppl, he saw merged Zamasu split himself, & he saw Moro split himself. Why is he written so stupid? I need answers Toyo.

Page 40....

HOW IN THE HECK did Mastered UI get caught off guard?! Ain't it supposed to automatically grow sturdier as necessary?! Boy oh boy, this writing... A positive is that the punch looks like the 1 inch punch Goku did to Golden Freeza (inspired by the legendary Bruce Lee).

So if actual Granolah is twice as strong and can one shots UI Goku... Vegeta doesn't stand a chance. But the bad writing will make a way for Vegeta to look somewhat capable.

Granolah says UI becomes less sharp over time. Only problem is that Goku fought longer against Moro. This fight of UI Goku should have been longer. If the fight was longer when in the UI "transformation" then I would be more generous about Granolah finding an opening. Speaking of openings, Granolah says "opening" instead of "vital point." Must be a translation error.

Goku is in a near death-like state and Vegeta is like

VEGETA: "Leave that fool alone. Fight me instead."

Vegeta threatening Granolah is either stupid or smart. Smart = Vegeta provoking Granolah to get an advantage mentally. Dumb = Vegeta reverting to his Cell saga overconfidence that Toyo always does.

IN CONCLUSION:

STILL NO IMAGE OF FREEZA... I guess he isnt that important to the story after all. And this storytelling is so bad because Toyo can't stay consistent at all, he doesn't understand the characters, & he can't come up with anything besides "this form also drains stamina." You can say he & Toriyama write this together but I doubt it. Toriyama corrects his art & just gives the story a pass.

Recently it seems that Toriyama is more interested in the DBS movies being produced. Toriyama just writes an outline, Toyotaro & Toei write their versions of the story around that, Toriyama corrects Toyotaro's art & Toriyama also corrects or adds to what Toei thinks up. Example being when Toei created Kale & Toriyama created Caulifla in response.

I'm not excited for the next chapter. I don't care what Vegeta does. How is Vegeta going to win against someone who one shotted Goku in UI. Either the writing will be kinda smart or just plain stupid. I'm expecting stupid.

Idk if I'll review the next chapters. The bad writing was too much for me. I wrote this review last month right 1 day after the chapter came out, but I didnt want to read the manga again to get the images I need for this review. So I put it off for almost 1 month.

I wanna take a break from this bad manga...

[writerforfun]

Underwing Challenge Day 6 + Day 7

6. What does your portfolio look like? Talk about as many other WIPs as you’d like here.

I have to be honest here, I never understood portfolio. I mean u understand what it is and its purpose but I never understood how to make it for myself.

But either way I guess I do have certain things I worked on.

Starting of with Collection.

1. Collection: Story 1: Mirror Defect: (DONE) (Sorry no cover)

Not all is as it seems.

Not all can be explained and even when the truth is out not everything will make sense.

"I just lost my brother, I can't lose her."

What can you do when you lose trust in those around you? When grief holds you too close?

When lies are hidden all around you?

When nothing is real?

Can you trust your own eyes? When all goes wrong who can you trust?

"Experitment 1034, you are next"

Is anything real? Are you real?

**Warning: character death, graphic description of the deceased character.**

I SUCK AT SUMMARIES.

The story was originally done to scare my uncle. I was going to send him this other story, which R.L. Stine wibe to it but sadly I lost it.

So here we are. Now this story features Mark, who despite all that has occurred, is trying to fix his broken family, even if it means destrying himself but is this family real?

You can check it out here

2. So, A Deal?: (DONE)

Met with death she has no choice but to let death consume her.

"No, I can't leave like this! Not like this."

There is no other way, or is there? But is she ready?

"What do you want? Does your soul not fill with rage, anger and despair? Pushing you to the core of vengeance? Don't you feel like a ghost? Dreading you will disappear? You know you are nothing but a ghost, and eventually, you will have to fade."

"I have seen the face of affliction brought by my reality, I'm tortured by the future of things that cannot be, haunted by visions of yesterday."

Her sin is great, but her desire greater. Will she survive the burn?

This was something I did for my school wrok once. Although it is quite different than the original work. I'm quite happy with the last chapter. I honestly just posted it out as a test to see if others would like it.

It took quite an effort and I enjoyed doing the last bit of it. I really want to make a sequal to it, get it going, but not really sure if this is going to go well.

You can check it out here.

3. Solar Elements: (DONE)

Avatar: The last Airbender inspired.

A lot can happen during a lifetime, faultless rotating to flaws, heroes into villains, a lifetime of destruction smiling in your wakes.

A lot can be lost in a lifetime.

"Wolf is going overboard,"

"We do not have time to wait."

"Surrender now and we shall show you all mercy."

"No, we will never yield to you"

"Then so be it."

"You are not prohibited to address better yet conduct such disgrace." "We are still alive!"

"Love you, Son"

A lot can happen during a lifetime, faultless rotating to flaws, heroes into villains, a lifetime of destruction smiling in your wakes.

"And so she has finally awoken."

I had done this for a story contest once, sadly I was unable to win. But I have to behonest, if I had I would have been so annoyed, it was awful, so awful. I won't talk much on it, as I still don't like this too much.

This feature elemtnal magic and time twist you can say, where a character, reborn must choose to either repeat history or change it completely.

4. Pirates tale: (WIPs)

Had this in for a while, been working on it but didn't have a plot till now.

The ship has no name, no crew, nothing. But if you see it, it's already too late.

Legend says they're ghost, some say they are cursed, others....... others don't live to tell the tale.

It was inspired by a prompt I saw once. Hoping to make these pirates cured to be vampires, hidden from all and only visible at night. They are insearch of their first crew captain, the one who must break the cures. Problem is, Captian dies 30 years ago.

Guess, his hidden daughter must be placed instead.

This is dumb, so dumb, but hey, I'll work on it.

5. The Basement: (WIPs)

Another school work.

This one feartures students sneaking into their school's basement. Each with their own story on why the basement is forbbiden.

If only they had listened and not followed through, then maybe they would not have encountered, the hidden dark past of the school.

This has a gay couple, lol I actaully send it to my teacher but I don't think she noticed :(. It needs alot of work though, so this may take a while.

6. To find the Truth: (WIPs)

This one seems to be liked a lot by you guys. Many seem intrigued.

In the dystopian future, when the world government collapsed, when humans fell and the virus took hold, out rose a series of mutants. Their genes mutated by the virus released when a power plant went nuclear.

These mutants, blessed with powers beyond their control, have taken leadership. Smart, strong, powerful and undefeatable. They hold power over the weak like you and me. But I won't let them stop me. I won't let them come in the way.

They are sloppy, weak and useless. The world is filled with criminals, danger and people in need. This world needs justice, it needs help and they won't help, so I will.

"They'll take you away. They take people like them away"

"I won't let them"

I worked up a lot on this in the past few day and have actually most of the plot down. Well the main chracter's backstory at least, even how the virus started and why these mutants have taken over.

I just need to start it out and get it going. I have done that and I was thinking of adding bits and pieces on how the world is after every sub-story, like telling the tale as the story progress.

Was also hoping to give this story, a big reveal as to who these mutants are and how they came to be, why they take other's like them and how they find other's like them.

7. To Sacrifice or To Live? (WIPs)

Still working up on the name here, but the story goes like this.

Two wedding decades a part, each holding nothing but tale forgotten.

An evil entity hanting them both. A power over both familes, readdy to demolish them whole this time.

Will the scarifice work?

Ok, before you turn away, here me out here.

Two weddings, one in the 1900s and the other in 2000s. Both familes trapped in a curse long active, each must work to find a way to break the curse. One failed, made it worse, will the new bride make it? Or will she suffer worse?

8. Collection: Haunting Memories (WIPs)

Jenny doesn't know how she did it but she did. She didn't mean to. She really didn't. But Nina is dead now and it's her fault. She did it.

It's her fault.

Then why do they blame Jake? Jake is sweet, kind and caring. Sure he was the one with the blade, covered in blood and coming to kill Jenny next but it wasn't Jake. Because she saw.

Saw him kill her. Push the blade through Nina, watching as the girl fell. Her blood turning the ground crimson. She saw as the life left Nina's eyes. As the killer slumped to the ground, the control over him wearing off.

Jenny knows because she killed Nina. Then why does no one believe her? And why do her memories differ from Jake's?

“I am telling you what happened.”

“All you are doing is wasting our time.”

“Then be patient, this is all I have. Please just hear me out.”

“We are busy people here. We don’t have time for stupid tales, girl”

“This is not a stupid tale. If you could just listen.”

“We are listening. Listening to you for the past 10 minutes, all you have done so far is tell us useless things. We have things to do.”

“Everything I mention is important. One thing missed and you won’t understand. Please. I need your help.”

“You have 10-”

“15”

“Fine 15 minutes.”

This I hope to work and get done by at least in the next month. It need a lot of work and must be quite slow yet fast paced. I need to make the plot a bit more than just what I have written.

8. Trick? No, I'll take the Treat (WIPs)

Halloween themed. Done quite long ago.

What will you do when your Halloween turns into a nightmare?

I have nothing much on it at the moment, but will update this soon.

7. What kind of partnership are you looking for in this event? Friendship? Somebody to bounce ideas off of? Something else? What sorts of people are you hoping to meet and adopt?

Honeslty, I did a lot of research in the past few days and boy do I ned a lot of work done.

For starters, I need someone who can actually tell me how my work is going, just how kuch of an effort I have out in and how it seems to others.

I need harsh, quite harsh feed back so I know what I am doing wrong, what I should improve with and what interests the reader about the book.

I also say wish to meet and know other writers here. Would love to meet them and get to know them.

[loganisanobody]

@badthingshappenbingo

Tags: unsympathetic Janus, unsympathetic Remus, human au

Based off a fic I can't find now, if anyone could help me - Virgil runs away from Remus and Janus and has a panic attack on the train, so Roman, Patton, and Logan take him home and take care of him. There's a car accident? Plz help so I can credit the original author ;v;

*****

Virgil walked slowly along the sidewalk, taking in the evening. It was a nice night, as the sun setting cast pink shadows on the clouds, the birds chirped, the fallen leaves crunched beneath his feet.

He looked around at the empty street, looking at the different houses he passed. Then something caught his eye: a familiar red car. His heart rate sped up, but he shook his head and kept moving. There was no way.

But he glanced again, and there was a familiar white dent in the car, and he knew.

He broke into a run, with only the thought of getting home.

He sped around the corner. He could see it. Home. He was five houses away. Four. Three. Tw— Someone jumped out in front of him.

Before he could cry out, they had grabbed him, turned him around, and slapped a hand over his mouth. He struggled, but the taller man was stronger.

"Look, I found my guinea pig!" Remus said with the glee of a six-year old whose beloved pet had finally emerged from a hole in the wall.

The familiar car pulled up, and Remus started to push Virgil toward it.

"Get in without a noise, or your boytoy will be my new guinea pig," Remus whispered harshly in Virgil's ear. Virgil froze. Roman.

Remus gave another push, and Virgil allowed himself to be led to the trunk of the car. Remus let go of his mouth to open the trunk, but Virgil didn't dare make a sound. He looked up at the house, hoping Roman would glance out the window and come to his rescue, but Remus pushed him into the trunk and slammed the door over him.

A few seconds later, with the rev of an engine, the car started moving, and Virgil's hopes quickly died.

No one would save him now.

*****

Roman would have been more aware of what was happening, if he had been awake to be aware of anything.

He woke up moaning, his head bursting with pain, in the grass behind their house. He sat up slowly, taking in the hose still gushing water on one side, and then the shovel thrown on the ground on his other side.

Virgil.

He scrambled to his feet, grabbing the shovel.

Whoever hit him over the head would likely not do anything less to his boyfriend.

He searched the house, but nothing seemed out of place. Except that Virgil wasn't home.

Wouldn't he have gotten back from his walk by now?

Roman went back out to the backyard as he tried to think. He turned off the hose and sat on the step.

Someone had attacked him, but then left him alone. There was nothing missing, except Virgil.

He felt the blood drain from his face.

Virgil had had abusive caretakers, and he had run away from them.

Would they have been searching for him all this time?

He hurriedly pulled his phone from his pocket as he rushed to the front of the house.

"Logan? I think Virgil's been kidnapped."

*****

Virgil woke up feeling very stiff. He turned, and realized he was on something rough, not soft like his bed. And he was cold. Where was his blanket?

He blinked his eyes open, then shot upright.

He was in a bare room, on carpeted floor.

Suddenly, he remembered what had happened.

He scrambled to his feet and rushed to the door. Of course, it was locked. There was no window in his room, so the only way in or out was through the door. He was trapped.

He shook his head and took a step back, looking at the door. How strong was it?

He took a few more steps back, then ran at the door, throwing his shoulder against it. He rebounded and fell, pain ringing through his arm and shoulder.

The door hadn't budged.

*****

Roman paced back and forth in Patton and Logan's living room.

"What do I do?" he repeated for the millionth time.

"You wait and let the police do their job," Logan answered calmly, as though he hadn't been saying that for the past few hours.

"I can't just sit here!" Roman turned to look at Logan. "They could be hurting Virgil, killing Virgil, as we speak!"

"There's nothing that we could do. We gave the police all the information we have. They'll be able to get more using their own resources. They're better equipped to handle this. And anyway, Virgil's abusers already hurt you, they obviously have no qualms against it. Going after him, even if you could, would just lead to more trouble."

Roman growled and clenched his fists, and went back to pacing.

"Why don't we play a game? Or go for a walk?" Patton tried. He looked so worried, but Roman could tell he was trying to be brave.

Roman shook his head. "I need to go after him."

"How?" Logan asked simply.

"I… I could… I could go to the station where Virgil got on the train that day."

"Okay, what then?"

"I… I'd comb the streets, looking for anything suspicious."

"Suspicious?"

"A-a sketchy looking dude? Or! Or a sight of Virgil through a window!"

"I doubt they'll let Virgil near any windows anytime soon."

Roman growled again.

"Roman, the police are probably doing just what you described, and more. They'll find him."

*****

Virgil didn't know how long it had been, and he really didn't want to know how Remus came up with so many ways to "experiment" on him without taking him out of the room.

He huddled in the furthest corner of the room, knees drawn up to his chest.

Then the door burst open and Remus was in front of him, yanking him to his feet, slapping a hand over his mouth again.

Virgil struggled, but he had no more strength than he had the last time.

"Shush," Remus said. He seemed to be straining to hear something.

Virgil stopped and listened.

There was a knock on a distant door.

"Hello?"

"Yes, hello. Is this the home of Janus Orion?"

"No."

Virgil furrowed his brow in confusion. Why was Janus lying?

"Do you know a Virgil Orion?"

It clicked. They were looking for him. He could have sobbed in relief.

"No."

Virgil tried to scream, cry out, do anything past Remus' hand.

"What was that?" he heard.

Remus kicked him.

"My son, having sex."

"At three in the afternoon?"

"Do I question your sexual activities?"

"No, sir."

There was a pause, and Virgil tried yelling again.

"Sir, can I see your ID?"

"Do you have a warrant?"

The man grumbled.

"Good night, officer," Janus said pointedly.

Virgil heard the door shut.

No, no no no…

Remus held him for another few seconds, then shoved him to the floor. Virgil still tried to scramble past him out the door, but Remus kicked him.

As Virgil recovered, Remus walked to the door. "You'll have no food for two days, one for each time you screamed. Next time, I will drive down to Florida and take a friend for each time you struggle." He left, locking the door behind him.

Virgil let out a sob, out of some combination of pain, fear, and hopelessness.

His one chance at freedom, and Remus and Janus had been too smart to let him have it.

*****

Against Logan's advice, Roman had taken to staying in a hotel near the station Virgil had first gotten on the train, spending the day at the station watching, spending nights wandering random streets, hoping to catch any sign of Virgil, only going back to the hotel room to charge his phone or let himself finally sleep.

His phone rang, and he scrambled to pick it up. "Did they find him?"

"No, Roman. You know they have your phone as first contact."

"Then why are you calling, Specs?"

"To try, once again, to get you to come home. You're not going to find him, and you're going to make yourself sick." He paused. "Patton's worried. For both of you. And… I am, too."

Now Roman paused. It wasn't like Logan to admit he had feelings.

"Please, come home," Logan continued. "There's strength in numbers."

Roman rubbed his face. "I… I can't just… not do something, Logan. I feel like I'm at least trying by being out here."

"That is commendable, Roman, but Virgil would want you to be safe and to take care of yourself."

Roman sighed. "Maybe you're right, Specs. But, if the police give up, I'm coming right back out here."

"That sounds like a plan, Roman."

Roman chuckled, then sighed and started toward the hotel.

*****

Virgil sank down against the wall after Remus left. Everything hurt. He inspected his arms, covered in scratches and burns, new and old. He couldn't even put his sweatshirt back on for fear of aggravating the pain.

He curled his knees up to his chest and hung his head in his arms.

Then he heard a knock.

His head flew up.

Just a couple seconds later, Remus flew into the room, grabbing Virgil like he had before. Virgil gulped behind Remus' hand. Would he dare try to get the police's attention this time?

"Janus Orion?"

"I told you, that's not my name."

"Background check says it is. We have a warrant to search this house."

There were footsteps, first from downstairs, then ascending the stairs. With every step, hope made Virgil's heart beat faster.

Finally, someone appeared in the doorway, holding a gun.

Remus' hold on Virgil tightened.

"Remus Gaines?"

"Go away or I snap his neck," Remus hissed.

Virgil's heart seized.

"I can't do that," the cop slowly stepped closer.

"I'll do it!" Remus' hold shifted on Virgil's face.

Virgil stared pleadingly at the cop.

"Remus, let him go."

There was a terrifying moment of silence, then suddenly Remus pushed Virgil into the approaching cop and swerved around him and out the door.

The cop caught Virgil and yelled out, "Runner!"

She then looked down at Virgil. "Virgil Orion?"

He nodded.

"You're safe now, Virgil, we've got you."

*****

Roman was pacing in the bedroom, unable to sit still, when his phone rang. He dove for it.

"Hello?" he asked breathlessly.

"Roman Prince?"

"Yes, yes, that's me."

"We've found Virgil. He's safe and coming home now."

Roman heard a ringing in his ears. The next thing he knew, Patton was in front of him, waving a hand in his face. Roman also found he was kneeling, when did he do that?

"Roman? Roman? Are you okay? What happened?"

Roman looked around dumbly. Logan was standing next to him, talking on the phone.

"Roman, what's wrong?" Patton prodded.

Roman turned to look at him, mouth turning up into a smile. "Nothing," he said. "Nothing's wrong."

*****

Roman was sitting on the couch next to Logan and Patton, his knee bouncing anxiously, when finally there came a knock at the door.

Roman was at the door in two steps and swung it open.

His eyes immediately fell on the black-haired, pale emo he fell in love with, and he gathered Virgil up in a bone-crushing hug.

Though Virgil winced in some pain, neither of them let go until well after the police had left, and Patton and Logan reluctantly pulled them apart to drag them inside and close the door, securing them all back safely together.

[hannie-dul-set]

(thirteen times) i love you— 05

— wherein y/n (a hopeless romantic) seems to fall in love with nearly ever guy she meets. so, she writes letters for them to compensate. these letters weren't meant for them to read, but what happens when they all end up receiving them?

05 // you put flowers to shame

word count: 1.9k

a/n: hnnn yn is dumb and a mood

next part will be on July 23rd, 8:00PM EST!

<<prev | next>>

masterlist

The walk towards the garden went at an agonizingly slow pace. You were supposed to meet Joshua there according to Seungcheol (whom arranged the meeting without your consent— the male is gonna receive a beating from you later, for sure). To say you were ready to face Joshua would be a gigantic lie, but you can't back out now.

"I swear to god, the next time I see Seungcheol's face— he's gonna fucking get it." You continually muttered, passing through the hallways filled with numerous students. You could see a few weird looks thrown at your direction, causing your mood to sink down even further. Try being in my place for a day, will you?

A faint buzzing interrupts your incessant curses. Pulling out your phone, you let out a groan.

[seungcheol: psst hey hey

seungcheol: joshua's already there hehehe]

[you: 🖕]

A myriad of green foliage and blossoming flowers came into view. You pause for a while, letting out a long sigh. Alright, Y/N, you can do this. Joshua is literally one of the nicest people you've ever met. If anything wrong happens— there's a well nearby. After mustering up the slightest amount of courage you could manage to conjour, you made your way to the garden's entrance.

The smell of fresh flowers drown your senses. A few feet away, you could see Joshua sitting on one of the benches, arms crossed and eyes closed. He blends perfectly with the greenery; as if he belonged in the center of a painting scenery. The air around him is nothing but serenity— your previous foul mood dissolving into thin air upon seeing the sight.

You shake your head, snapping you out of your trance. Focus, Y/N. You're here to retrieve your letter, not to gawk at this devastatingly pretty boy without his consent no matter how tempting it could be— there's always a time for that. Focus.

Repeating the mantra in your head, you inched towards the resting male, careful to not disturb him on your way (the rocks on the ground made it quite a difficult task). Once you've reached him, you weren't sure what to do next. You pondered whether or not to say something to wake him up. A few seconds of silence pass until you finally decided to say something, but a low groan stopped you from doing so.

"Oh, Y/N. You're here."

Well shit. Goodbye, focus.

"Um, y-yeah. Have you been waiting long?" You stammered. Dear god, why did he have to say your name with that damned morning voice— it isn't even morning for fuck's sake. Your mental scolding continued until the male managed to stifle out a response in his half-asleep state.

"Mm, not too long," Joshua placed his palm over his mouth, letting out a yawn. "C'mon. Take a seat," he scooted over to give you room to sit on the bench. Slowly, you sat beside him. Despite being seated next to the male, you refused to look at him; your focus was entirely on the purple patch of forget-me-nots in front of you. You placed your hand on your chest in the hopes of calming down your erratic heartbeat. Y/N, you dumb bitch. The letter— you're here to bring back the letter, not to bring back your buried feelings for the damned male. Absolutely not, you reminded yourself once more.

Neither of the both of you say a thing. The once peaceful air was replaced with an uncomfortable touch of awkwardness. You decided to spare a quick glance at the male. But upon turning your head towards him, you were met by a pair of eyes as well. A flush of pink covers your cheeks at the sudden eye-contact and you instantly turned away. You could hear a slient cough coming from beside you and the sound of him shuffling in his seat.

Y/N, go say something, for god's sake.

You bit your bottom lip, thinking of the proper words to say to break the chilling silence.

"So, about the letter—"

"About the letter you sent—"

You slap your hand over your mouth, preventing you from saying anything any further. You cheeks began to flare a bright red even more. A small smile forms on Joshua's face as he lets out a gentle laugh from the exchange. "You go first."

Holy shit—. You mentally smacked yourself. Keep it together, Y/N.

"Um well," you bit the inside of your mouth, raising your head to look at the male (which was a really bad idea). He stared down at you, the corners of his mouth slightly lifted upwards and his eyes filled with nothing but a soft glint of attentiveness. In short, he almost murdered you with that stare.

You stifled out a cough, trying to get yourself back on track. "Actually, Joshua. That letter was written like, four years ago."

"I had a feeling it wasn't recent," Joshua smiled, his attention turning towards a nearby rose bush. "Your way of words in the letter seemed different from how you currently write."

"How—how would you know?" you gaped, eyes widening from the males remark. Joshua lets out a chuckle, still not facing you.

"Well, you are in the school paper. I read your works, sometimes," he hummed. He gives you a side glance, mouth still in the form a sweet, gentle smile. "It's hard not to, you know."

This guy is really out to kill me.

You wanted to punch yourself, but you couldn't do that without looking like some sort of weirdo in front of the male. Lightly slapping yourself in the face (without Joshua seeing, of course), you made yourself recall what you came here for.

"A-anyways. If you don't mind, Joshua, I'd like to have to letter back," you sputtered out. "Everything written there is all in the past so you don't have to worry about anything— I, uh, I don't like you anymore. At least not it that way."

Joshua remains silent for a while, pressing his lips together tightly. His expression is unreadable and you started to grow anxious by each passing second, staring at the male with an evident nervous look in your gaze. Did I say something wrong?

"Ah, is that so?" he spoke out and you nodded in response. Joshua hummed and reached for his pocket, pulling out the familiar yellow envelope. "Here," he handed it over to you, a slight smile plastered on his face, causing one to bloom on yours as well. You slowly took the item from his hand and held it tightly, giving him a grateful look.

"Thank you so much, Joshua."

"It's not a problem."

The male gave you a close-eyed grin, sending a surge of warmth all throughout your body. Time to yeet out of here, Y/N. Dont give into the devil's tempation.

You readied yourself to stand up and to take your leave, but a sudden but firm grip on your wrist prevented you from doing so.

"Y/N—," a flustered look shrouds Joshua's face and he immediately lets go of you. "Sorry, my bad," he scratches the crook of his neck and bashfully looks away from your direction.

"It's fine, Josh. Is there something on your mind?" you inquired, raising your brow at the male. He hesitantly opens his mouth but closes it once again. Your mouth forms into a slight frown. You don't know what was going inside the male's head, but as far as you've known him, he's always hesitated in doing things for his own self-satisfaction— he's always done what the people want, even at his own expense.

"Joshua," the male snaps out of his trance upon hearing the sound of your voice. "You don't have to be afraid to tell me anything— whatever it is, I'll listen."

Surprised at your sentiment, Joshua's eyes widen. He then trails his attention to the ground, taking in a long and deep breath. Slowly, he pulls his head up, eyes taking you in entirely.

"Y/N, if you don't mind," he pauses for a while, one of his hands playing with his sleeve. "I hope this won't be the last time that we talk to each other— of course, unless if you don't want to."

Joshua's eyes scan your face for any sign of discomfort and seems to relax just the slightest bit when he sees none. You weren't gonna lie— you nearly passed out because holy shit is he asking to my friend that's so adorable fuck. You breathed deeply, trying to calm your racing heart (courtesy of Mr. Hong Jisoo) and Joshua patiently waited for your response, anxiousness evident in his features.

"I'd like that, Josh," you tell the male, eyes gleaming and mouth smiling. Clearly, Joshua didn't expext that to be your answer. He was taken aback at first, but that changed almost immediately. Eyes formed into small crescents and the corners of his lips turned upwards, Joshua's blooming expression nearly puts the dozens of flowers in the garden to shame.

The sun was starting to set, giving everything a beautiful, orange warmth— and making Joshua look even more breath taking than before (in your defense, you could still admire people without harboring feelings for them, duh).

"It's getting late, isn't it?" Joshua mused, eliciting a soft hum from you in response. "Shall we get going?"

You gave him a quick nod and started to head over to the garden's exit with the male trailing behind you. You took your time taking each step, admiring the numerous blooms that are present in every corner (and maybe because you wanted to stay with the male a little longer, but you'd never admit that). Distracted by the gigantic patch of sunflowers on your left, you didn't notice a rather big rock right in front of you.

In short— you tripped.

You let out a high-pitched yelp, closing your eyes and waiting for the painful impact to come— but it didn't. Rather than being pulled straight into the bumpy ground, you were somehow pulled away from it, and with a faint thud, your head landed on a smooth and hard chest.

"Y/N are— are you alright?" Joshua questions, worry evident in his tone. You opened your eyes, raising your head to see the male who was only inches away. His hands landed on your shoulders, gripping you with a firm yet gentle hold. A light flush of pink spreads on your face and you scrambled away from the male.

"I—I'm fine, Josh, thank you" you coughed out.

"Are you sure?" he asks once more, brows furrowing with concern. "Do you want to go the infirmary?"

Infirmary? You nearly choked. Memories of last times mishaps surfaced inside your mind. The nurse pretty much hates you now, and going in with the same fucking guy you were literally hiding from would end up being absolutely awkward to the point that you could literally drown yourself in the awkwardness— that's not something you'd like to experience (you've had enough, thank you very much).

"No!" you exclaimed, surprising the male a little bit so you immediately toned yourself down. "I—I mean— it's not like I'm hurt or anything and it's all thanks to you, Josh. You were there to catch me on time so I didn't end up slamming into the ground or anything."

Joshua remains silent for a while, his eyes focused on you. You could feel your blush resurfacing and you averted your eyes from the male. He let out a sigh and spoke, ruffling your hair in the process.

"If you say so."

[eisforeidolon]

How would you rank all of the show's showrunners? I've been thinking about it and I immediately went with Dabb being worst but then I really sat down to think and make sure it wasn't just because he's the most recent so his mess ups are the most fresh. And I genuinely do believe he is the worst, just bc most of the worst lore-breaking stuff has happened under him, the pathetic gimmicks, the dead weight, the overall lack of actually caring about the show...he's done so much damage.

I agree that Dabb is hands down The Worst.  I think there have been at least some questionable decisions for all of them, but I honestly don’t think any other part of the show remotely compares with the shallow, arbitrary,  farce-driven incoherence of seasons 12-14.  In terms of both the breadth and depth of ineptitude - badly fumbled arcs, inconsistent and awful pacing, dumb fan service decisions they clearly did not think through, obvious characterization fails, utterly random fluctuation in the powers of beings & mcguffins to force things along a set path - and all of it in bulk.  So far as I’m concerned, every one of his seasons collapses unsatisfactorily under its own weight as it run-stumbles through the last couple episodes.  He just doesn’t seem to write plotlines so much as he writes moments of random high dramallama or moments he thinks are “cool” and then haphazardly strings them together expecting the audience to just create their own underlying narrative to make it actually work and not be stupidly OOC (or just plain stupid).  Some months ago I did a complete rewatch from beginning to then-current and there are a lot of things I’ll complain about from earlier seasons, but there is no part of the show I find just as purely unwatchable as Dabb’s years - he’s an overachiever at sucking.

I don’t think putting Kripke first is a hard decision for me either.  I do think he had it easier than everybody that came after because he had less previous lore to keep track of or worry about either repeating or contradicting.  It was also his concept from the beginning, not somebody else’s he adopted.  Still, while I think the first three seasons are tighter than four and five, he at least put in clear effort to tie things together with some explanation when he changed course and fumbled the continuity and he ultimately tells a reasonably coherent story.  Another factor of him definitely winning out over Dabb or Carver is that he left when he was out of ideas, instead of hanging on going through the motions, figuring out season by season what to do because the show was still there and $$$¯\_(ツ)_/¯$$$. 

I’d rank Gamble over Carver, though I’d put her closer to him than to Kripke, probably.  I think Gamble had a lot of trouble figuring out how to be a showrunner, and the arc path she chose for season six was not a great transition from Kripke’s run.  He basically laid out what the aim of each season was in the first episode or two, and then she tried to run a series of mysteries.  By the time it was clear what the main arc actually was, the season had already spent too long feeling directionless and random for the audience in comparison to what came before.  As for seven, while I don’t hate the leviathans as much as a lot of people do, they did feel just a little ridiculous and not as menacing as we were meant to find them.  Despite that, there are a lot of individual episodes in those seasons I really like and I do appreciate that she was at least willing to try different things and expand the world out in new directions.  Of course, there’s the obvious element that, as the person with the shortest tenure, she also had the least time to screw up.  Therefore I feel it’s not entirely fair to rank her significantly higher than Carver.  If she’d stayed on for a longer span of show, she may have learned to balance better and ranked up with or above Kripke, really expanding the show into something new but just as good!  Or instead she might have gone further off the rails in terms of too much change too fast and ultimately been a contender for Worst Ever. 

My complaints with Carver start in the exact opposite direction of my issues with Gamble - I feel like he wasn’t willing to make particularly bold choices.  He latched back onto generic angel & demon conflict and drove that train straight into the ground and kept right on going towards the center of the Earth.  I give him some leeway because it does make sense heaven and hell would be so disjointed after the apocalypse failed and so many major players were put out of commission - but he ultimately made both sides banal and nigh interchangeable.  If it was maybe plausible, it still wasn’t particularly entertaining to revisit season after season after season.  I also feel like his tenure is where the show seriously started to cross over from being a supernatural show with some soapy drama elements to being a soapy drama with some supernatural elements.  He tended to choose what he wanted to happen and then force the characters into doing it regardless of whether it made sense rather than letting who the characters were shape how they acted.  Furthermore, he just couldn’t seem to get over the idea that Sam and Dean had to constantly have some source of internal personal conflict on top of the external issues and thus be lying or fighting over something major every season, even if he had to jam in that source of conflict with a crowbar operated by a ham-hand for the dramallama.  It’s not that the showrunners before him didn’t do some similar things, it’s that he kept on going in the same track further and further, never stepping back and looking at the show as a whole to realize it was in danger of reaching circular parody-of-itself levels.  His run was also the part of the show where continuity became easily disposable, to the point where it not only wouldn’t even get a hand wave explanation if they contradicted previous canon on a major point, but it would occasionally be thrown out by a lazy writer for convenience in an individual episode.  And you know, maybe that would have happened to at least some extent under any showrunner a decade in?  But he was still the one at the wheel when it did.  So far as I’m concerned, what Dabb is doing is just continuing on from what Carver had already gradually allowed the show to become, but with even less writing skill and fucks to give than Carver had.  Then again, Carver took a lot of shortcuts and made a lot of choices I didn’t care for, but I usually felt like he at least had some overarching plan and direction with forethought behind it.

[izdabielle]

Musical of Love { i.}

one

"In, you should be ready in 30 minutes. Did you already do your vocal warm ups?" asked the brunette manager, Wonhee.

"Yes, I did," replied In.

Jae In. One of the most well known musical actresses in the country. She's highly recognise for her excellent singing skills and acting skills especially when given the demure, kind hearted roles. However, despite the kind hearted roles she gets, she's actually a cold hearted woman. No, she's not the typical "you should worship me" type of mean but the "leave me alone because I don't need you here" type of mean.

Sure, she received numbers of news and complaints about it but does she care? No, she doesn't. Loved by the audience, hated by the cast. That's her status. She would get offers of roles having love interests to which she would decline.

Love?

It disgusts her. She never like the idea of love. She rarely heard it unless it's from the critics, fans or two of her only friends.

Yoo Wonhee. Her manager.

Lee MinOk. Her personal stylist.

They were her safety blanket. The sight of them keeps her from the worries that would corrupt her before performing. They were the ones who would sweep off the dirty negativity in her mind. Imagining the world without them scared her.

"Innie..."

The young actress snapped out of her thoughts as she felt a tight squeeze on her shoulder, only to look at the owner of the hand. MinOk is known for her gothic or grudgy persona but her real personality is far from the image she's known of.

In squeezed the stylist's hand as a sign of thank you. MinOk knew that it would take a miracle for In to smile. She knew In disliked everything about her. She even hates her name for goodness sake. Having to hate everything about her gave her no reason to smile.

"You have 20 minutes, better go up there quick, " said Wonhee.

In stands up, fixes herself, did a final warm up and took a deep breath. She looked at the two girls and thanked them before proceeding to the stage.

🎶❤️🎶

Now life has killed the dream

I dreamed

The man's eyes glistened with tears as the woman on stage slowly ended the song. He has always admired her. His members know it. Even his family knows that he's such a sucker for this girl. Watching musicals was one of his stress relievers. Members would jokingly call him out whenever he would sing too loudly in his room.

He used to watch her shows with his parents but when trainee days came, he missed every show she was on. Idol days came, he would invite the other members but they weren't enthusiastic as he was.

He wiped his tears as the musical went on. Making him forget the stress he went through. The worries he had for the past months are now washed away.

🎶❤️🎶

"Jae In as Fantine!"

The actress gave the audience a small smile as she went to the center to take a bow. Smiling was always a struggle to her. She never had solid reasons to smile yet it was required especially in the curtain call.

After the curtain call, she said her "goodbyes" to the cast then quickly went back to her dressing room.

"You did great!!"

Wonhee and Minok rushed to hug her not expecting much reaction but their hearts went warm when they felt her arms tried to wrap around them. They let go of her and gave her a smile.

"Oh, In. I have this cousin who is a big fan of yours. Can he come here and maybe hang out with us?" asked Wonhee.

Jae In being the anti social would normally say no but hearing that it's her cousin. Wonhee would talk about her cousin non stop. Saying no would sadden the excited woman, knowing that they haven't seen each other for months already. However, the other side of her says that Wonhee and her cousin could meet another time.

The young actress looked at the expectant brunette and there her decision was made.

"Sure but just a picture with me. Don't include me into your conversation," she said as she sat on her chair.

🎶❤️🎶

Kihyun repeated the same words as he paced back and forth. He was waiting for his cousin, outside his idol's waiting room.

Sure, he was part of one of the most charismatic kpop boy groups but meeting his idol was different. He felt nervous. Is this what fans feel when they meet him?

His heart stopped when the door opened and smiled at the sight of his cousin. He felt giddy. Giddy as a little girl receiving her new doll.

"Wonheeeee..." he said as he hugged her.

Wonhee gave him a hug that was tighter than expected, which was usual but he can't never get over how strong she can get despite being petite.

They entered the room and Kihyun greeted In. She greeted him with a small nod and stood up, knowing he will ask for her picture. The man couldn't help but feel nervous and develop sweaty hands as he sees the beauty before him.

"Hi, I'm Yoo Ki-"

"I know," she said as she shook the stretched hand.

"Can we-"

"Yes, we can."

Kihyun looked at Wonhee, silently asking to take them a picture. Wonhee took his phone and ready the camera. Kihyun stood beside JaeIn and smiled as In only gave a small smile. It was not even known if she was really smiling.

Kihyun felt awkward for the awkward. He was aware that she was known for her cold personality but he never knew that it was this cold.

"At least she's not arrogant," the boy thought.

Wonhee sat beside Kihyun and gave him a drink. She felt bad for bringing Kihyun, knowing very well the result of the whole but it was one of the things that she can do: making Kihyun meet his musical crush.

"She's just tired," she whispered to Kihyun.

Kihyun knew Wonhee was lying. He wasn't that dumb. Having Jae In few appearances wouldn't ture that quickly unlike other performances such as. He understood why she had to lie.

The cousins conversed whilst MinOk helped In in removing her make up. MinOk would usually bring up a conversation with In but she felt that the girl was not happy with the loud chattering made by the cousins.

As her make up was removed, she took a deep breath and stood up, facing the two.

"May I ask you two to leave the room? I have to change my clothes," she said with a thin hint of annoyance.

The cousins looked at each other and did so. As they went out, Wonhee apologise for In's attitude and that its not only him who was able to experience it. That was one of Kihyun's greatest question:

Why is she like this?

Kihyun had this belief that behind every mean or arrogant person has a story behind it.

"Kihyun ah, you should go home. Its already late," said Wonhee, patting his head.

"I will, thank you for tonight," he said, squeezing the hand on his head.

"I'm also sorry in behalf of In."

"It's okay. I somehow expected it," he said, giving his cousin a reassuring smile.

Both bid their goodbyes. Kihyun going to the left, heading to the exit while Wonhee head back to the room to fix things and call it a day.

🎶❤️🎶

Kihyun arrived at the dorm with a big smile despite of the cold treatment from his crush. He lied down on his bed, posting the pictures he had taken, showing one of the things he loved the most.

📷: ᶜᵗᵗᵒ

[ladytauria]

Monkey As The Rest Of Us

Monkey As The Rest Of Us

AO3 | FFN

Summary: This discussion is long overdue. / A heart to heart about the events of Soul of Evil.

So, @youareshauni and I were talking in the Hyper-Server discord group, and she mentioned that Antauri’s move to go after the skull during Wormhole was… kind of senseless. I mean, it was going to get blown up with the Worm, right? And then I mentioned the idea of Sprx and Antauri having a heart-to-heart over it… and one thing lead to another. So here’s a fic :P

I was listening to Ruelle’s Dead of Night for most of this. It has nothing to do with the story, but I don’t usually listen to music while I write so I thought it was worth mentioning. (I also listened to Recover, also by Ruelle. But only 3 times, whereas I think Dead of Night might have repeated more like 6 times. …she’s a really good singer, okay?)

Thank @youareshauni for giving this a read over to make sure it was good for posting, and thus inspiring it to be about 1k words longer.

Sprx wasn't entirely sure when Antauri took over as the pseudo "father figure" of the monkey team. Sometime after Chiro took over—that much was clear. But, though it seemed like so long ago, Sprx could still remember a time when Antauri was more distant mentor, untouchable second-in-command than someone you could go to with all of your worries and troubles.

Well, alright, that wasn't true either. Antauri had always been the person they had gone to for heart-to-heart chats. His primary role had once been as advisor. Mandarin had been too anal to let Antauri function as a proper second-in-command, but—at least in the beginning—he didn't mind letting him dole out advice. Mandarin had rarely seen fit to take it, but the others sure had.

But after Chiro, Antauri had become… warmer? More approachable. Down-to-earth? No—that didn't fit. Monkey had his head too far in the clouds, meditating on existential issues or something. Philosophy wasn't really Sprx's thing.

More approachable it was then. And as Chiro wormed his way into the monkeys' hearts, deeper and deeper until it was pretty clear that only open surgery was going to dislodge him, Antauri's distant persona became more cracked and warped until he almost seemed like one of them.

'Course, it sounds cold when you put it like that. But Antauri had always seemed like a level above the rest of them. Gibson tried to achieve that, of course, but Antauri had actually managed it, and for the life of him, Sprx couldn't remember when that had happened.

And—well. Alright. So Sprx might have been beating around the bush for a bit. The point was, Antauri was the person they went to for advice, because he was like—Chiro's father figure, their older brother figure. And had all that guru-monk training that made him uniquely qualified to dispense fortune cookie sayings that sounded like they could fix all your troubles. Which was why Sprx was pacing in front of Antauri's door, worrying his tail between his hands and wondering how on Shuggazoom he was going to broach this conversation.

It wasn't like Antauri wasn't aware of his mental state. Sprx wasn't afraid to admit that he'd been brooding up a storm lately. Antauri had approached him with the offer to talk more than a few times, but Sprx had kept brushing him off. He wasn't entirely sure what made him choose now to finally take him up on the offer. Maybe it was the fact that he was spending yet another night staring into the shadows on his ceiling, eyes burning from lack of sleep, dreading closing his eyes and seeing all of the horrifying things that he could have done—that he had done. Maybe it was the fact that sometimes his muzzle still felt wet where Nova's tear had dropped on it. Maybe it was the fact that anytime someone dropped something, he still saw Nova thudding painfully on the ground in front of him. Maybe it was the fact that he couldn't see electric sparks or wires without seeing her arms, busting open link by link under the control of his magnets.

Whatever it was, whatever the reason that had finally dragged Sprx to Antauri's door, time be damned, he was here now—and he was too chicken to knock on the door.

Could really use some of that freaky 'I can sense you standing there' mind power right now, Antauri. Sprx was pretty sure that Antauri wasn't telepathic—but supposedly all of them had the power primate, so maybe that counted for something. Spiritual mumbo-jumbo wasn't really his forte.

Sprx dug his teeth into his lip and, with the lightning fast reflexes that allowed him to call himself the best pilot in the Shuggazoomian star system—or, hell, maybe even in this freakin' cluster—jabbed the button to open Antauri's door before he could think too hard about it.

Again.

The door slid open, revealing Antauri about where Sprx had expected him, hovering three feet in the air in what Sprx was pretty sure was called the lotus position. His back was to the door. Sprx stepped forward and felt the door slide shut behind him. Antauri didn't move, and Sprx shifted from foot to foot. Should he clear his throat? Say something? His gaze flitted about the room before coming to rest on two teacups sitting on a tray, a bowl of sugar and a small pitcher of cream between them. Steam still curled into the air.

It didn't matter how long they had known each other. Antauri's psychic tendencies would never fail to unnerve him.

Sprx walked over to the cushion across from Antauri and lowered himself on it. Antauri's eyes opened, and he blinked a few times; his pupils readjusting to the lighting of the room. After a moment, they cleared, and he focused on Sprx. A smile split across his face, but it wasn't… It was that same stupid smile, the one that bespoke of tranquility. Antauri wore it everyday—or he would wear that stupid blank mask. There was a reason Sprx had taken to avoiding him.

But who else was he going to talk to? He wasn't ready to look Nova in the eye. Not after what he did. Gibson—hah. They didn't get along on a good day, let alone when Sprx was so emotionally raw. (Maybe that was being unfair, but… Gibson wasn't the person that Sprx would choose to confide in.) Otto? No way. Sprx knew that Otto wasn't as dumb or as goofy as he seemed, but he was still too much like a little brother for Sprx to go to him for such concerns. Chiro? Kid had enough on his plate without dealing with Sprx's insecurities on top of that.

But he wasn't sure he could handle an Antauri that was a level removed from the conversation. Placid and… and… almost unfeeling. It reminded him too much of the post-Mandarin days. Sure, a calm in the storm was what they had needed, but sometimes Sprx thought maybe Antauri had taken it too literally. He'd lost it a couple of times in the intervening years, but… But mostly, Antauri remained distant. One step removed from everyone else's plane of existence.

And somewhere along the way, that had stopped being comforting.

"Sprx." Antauri greeted him, his voice far warmer than his smile. "I was wondering if you were going to come by tonight."

Sprx shrugged. "Hadn't figured that out myself." He nodded towards the tea. "Looks like you had a pretty good feeling, though."

Antauri lowered himself to be more on Sprx's level; coming to hover only a few inches off the ground. Why he couldn't just sit on a cushion as well, Sprx didn't understand. "You've seemed more troubled as of late."

Sprx shrugged again. "Had a hard time sleeping."

Antauri nodded. "You are far from the only one." His smile turns sad. "This war… it hasn't been easy on any of us." He met Sprx's eyes. "All of us are facing difficult thoughts and feelings, but you… are carrying a burden you shouldn't."

Sprx scowled. They were just going to jump right in, were they? "What do you mean I 'shouldn't'? I— Gibson warned me not to touch it and I did. Skeleton King was reborn because of me. Because of my decisions."

Antauri shook his head. "No. He wasn't. This was set in motion a long time ago—"

"Don't feed me that crap." Sprx's voice came out harsher than he meant, but he didn't try to take the words back. "About some 'grand plan.' You might believe in it, and that's great—but I don't." He couldn't. The universe wasn't some giant chessboard in which they were all the pawns. It was life. Chaotic and messy, sure, but… Things happened. Sometimes a higher power, like the Power Primate or whatever being was associated with it, manipulated it, tried to set some plan in motion—but that didn't make it inevitable.

Antauri sighed. "Stopping Valina and Mandarin was beyond our ability. Too much of the Dark One's power was imbued within the essences. None of us could have picked them up without succumbing."

Sprx curls his lip. "You could have."

He knows that all of them were thinking it. If Antauri or Chiro had picked it up… there was no way they would have fallen prey to its clutches. Chiro was protected by the Power Primate and thus his status as Chosen One—not to mention his innate goodness—and Antauri was… Well. He was Antauri. All that fancy Mystic training and mental exercises. Probably had a will like iron.

Antauri grimaced. "I am not infallible, Sprx." He said it gently, like he was afraid of the effect his words would have.

Sprx rolled his eyes. "Maybe not, but you do a damn sight better than the rest of us."

Antauri's grimace only deepened. "Sprx… I am just a monkey—like the rest of you. The only difference is in our training. I was taught to keep my emotions in check, to always look before I leap. But I still have my weaknesses, and they can bring me down just as low as anyone else." There was a wry twist to his mouth as he said those last words—and Sprx wondered what he was thinking.

He could ask, but Antauri wouldn't tell him. "Yeah, well. I've never seen it."

Silence fell between them, Sprx picking at the edge of the cushion as Antauri floated thoughtfully in the air. Finally, Antauri spoke again.

"The Fire of Hate was beyond your control, Sprx." Antauri's voice was firmer this time, and Sprx's hackles rose. Antauri didn't think he could order the guilt out of him, did he? "The Dark Ones are named such for a reason. Their influence is far and wide, and they have gained much power throughout the millennia's they've existed. Skeleton King had—has—pieces of them in him, and those pieces were the ones we tracked down. No one, and I do mean no one, could have touched them without feeling their influence. Not even Chiro, Chosen One or not."

Sprx rolled his eyes. "Fine. I couldn't have avoided its influence—but you're not getting the real problem here, Antauri. The problem is—I touched it, after Gibson told me not to. And then? Because I was on their side, because they had a cybernetic monkey on their side, they were able to retrieve the Soul of Evil. Without me, that wouldn't have happened."

"You don't know that. Valina was a talented witch. It was well within her reach to find or manipulate a way through the Netherworld so she could lay her hands on the Soul of Evil."

"Yeah, if she could get out," Sprx crossed his arms. "Chiro only survived because of the Power Primate. You think Valina and Mandarin could've made it out of there alive?"

Antauri closed his eyes for a moment, and there was a vindictive part of Sprx—a part of him that had grown stronger during his time as a minion of the dark—that took pleasure in it. He wanted Antuari to feel frustrated—or uncertain. He wanted him to actually step back and take a look at just what a mess Sprx had been made into. Ripped apart and put back together with all of the jagged pieces pointed out.

He didn't want cold comfort.

(He wouldn't admit it, but… it was times like these he missed Mandarin. He had been a real bastard while he was team leader, but… he wouldn't dance around the issue like Antauri. Actually, he would have gone in for the metaphorical kill the second Sprx was back to being a good guy. Of course, that was assuming that Mandarin would have purified him in the first place. Maybe cold comfort was better, when compared to that.)

"Sprx. You are not to blame for the rise of the Skeleton King. The Dark Ones would have done anything to bring him back. Valina and Mandarin were merely tools to them. When they stopped being useful, they would be discarded and replaced with something new. Something capable of doing what they wanted. Skeleton King would have returned, regardless."

Sprx stared at him. "If that's what you believe, then why didn't you call it off after we found out about the Ice Crystal? Why didn't you listen to Gibson, where I didn't, and call it off. Let them go at it, and given us time to prepare?" Sprx knew he was pushing, and pushing hard. But he didn't care. Antauri wanted him to come in and dump this on him? Then that's what Sprx was going to do.

Antauri was fidgeting, now. He was so still most of the time, that the way his hands were twitching restlessly was obvious. "Because… I… No one would have listened. I could have advised it, could have warned all of you—but you would have been insistent on trying."

Sprx snarled. "Yeah, but we would have tried a different way. We would have known not to touch the essences, for sure, as advised by our spiritual guide—and we would have focused on getting the skull." Sprx stood. "And you know what? It would have been easy taking in the Netherworlds. How would the Dark Ones bring back Skeleton King without his skull, huh?"

Antauri's mouth worked, and there was heady satisfaction thrumming in Sprx's veins. Then that mask went up, and Antauri was unreadable again. Sprx snarled before he could stop himself, his hands clenching into fists at his sides.

"The past comes through much clearer than the present. You can see the events that led you to a fateful decision with ease. But the present is far more muddied. We all do the best we can at the time."

Sprx narrowed his eyes. "You're not just talking to me." Sprx circled Antauri, like a shark that's scented blood. "Do you blame yourself, too?" The sentence was strange on his tongue—why would Antauri blame himself for any of it? And yet… It was all Sprx could think of to explain the way he was holding himself.

Antauri's eyes darted away from Sprx. "You are right. I should have called it off. As the second-in-command and spiritual advisor of the team, it was my right. I didn't. Even if I didn't believe that it would have stopped any of you, I still should have tried."

Sprx paused in his circling, standing in front of Antauri. It was weird, looking down at the other monkey. After Antauri had become the silver monkey, it was like a new layer of untouchability had descended over him. He was always hovering, high in the air. He never seemed to eat, or sleep—and it was odd. He wasn't like the rest of them anymore, and while Sprx was grateful they hadn't lost him, he wondered sometimes if Antauri was still their Antauri.

"That's not what's bothering you." Sprx crossed his arms. He was not going to be the only one here who was vulnerable. If Antauri was hiding something, Sprx was damn well gonna find out what it was. "Aren't you the one who's always preaching about how a team shouldn't have secrets from each other?" Though come to think of it, he hadn't actually said that in a while. Not since before his death.

Did new-Antauri have a new policy on secrets, then? Didn't that just figure.

"Sprx, we are not here to discuss me, we're here to discuss you." Antauri's voice was firm, but his tail swished behind him. A monkey's tail would always give them away. Even a monkey as calm and in control as Antauri.

"What if I want to discuss you?" Sprx shot back. "You never talk about anything, Antauri. You know I don't even know your favorite color? I don't know what you do in your spare time anymore either. I haven't seen you settle down with a book in months, or caught you playing chess with Gibson at odd hours of the night, or found you cooking even though it wasn't your night, or anything you used to do." The words spilled from his tongue, each one sounding like an accusation. It was so far from what Sprx meant to talk about, but it needed to be said.

Antauri wasn't Antauri anymore. Hadn't been for a long time—and everyone else seemed content to ignore it. To paint him over with the same black-and-gold guise he had always worn.

But he was silver-and-blue, now, and that meant change. Sprx was done ignoring it, and he was done making thinly veiled jibes meant to provoke. To cause some sort of reaction, so that maybe, just maybe, he could figure out what happened to the monkey that he had once trusted more than anyone but Nova and Chiro.

"Sprx…"

"No, don't try to change the subject. Don't avoid me. You want me to spill all of my crap, then you gotta start talking too, Antauri. This ain't a one way street."

Antauri pursed his lips, but Sprx looked at him with his arms crossed and his brow furrowed, a scowl on his face. He wasn't going to drop this, even if he had to come in every night until long after the war was finished.

"Fine." Antauri shut his eyes. "Fine. I suppose that I, too, have been under some… stress, lately. But—"

"No buts," Sprx interrupted sharply. "You've been under stress since you were resurrected. I want to know why."

Antauri rubbed his face. An old tell, one his robotic body had abandoned. Or so Sprx had thought. He was getting to him. Sprx fought a grin. It wasn't the time, however proud of himself he felt. His pilot's instincts warned him he was about to regret pushing—but he didn't care.

"You… are not the only monkey who blames himself for this war," Antauri said begrudgingly. "I have allowed you to shoulder it for far too long, Sprx. You do not deserve to carry a burden that is not your own."

Sprx blinked. He shook his head. Once. Twice. Then reached up and tapped one of his audio receptors. "Did I hear that right? How could you be responsible for it?" Even shock colored his tone in anger, now. Was that a trait he had always held, or was it a remnant of the Fire of Hate?

"Do you remember when we blew up the Dark One Worm?"

"Uh, yeah. Kind of hard to forget, Antauri."

Antauri reached up and rubbed at his eye coverings, smudging the glass. "While the charges were being placed… I went after the Skeleton King's skull. I… was determined that no remnant of the Skeleton King be allowed to exist in any form. I wanted it gone. And… I succeeded. I didn't… I didn't think it all the way through. I just acted. I never even considered the possibility that Mandarin might find it—that Valina could get her clutches on it and restore his form. I… just wanted it gone."

Sprx shook his head again. "But… why?" That wasn't… Sure, he got being angry at the Skeleton King. He was evil, pure and simple. Delighted in the suffering of others. Was planning world domination—or world destruction. Sprx had never been sure. He didn't know if Skeleton King was sure, either. He had caused personal harm to every member of the Hyper Force, and wanted them all dead or on his side. It wasn't exactly hard to find something to be mad about.

But…

The explosives were going to take care of it. Why run off and take matters into your own hands?

Antauri looked away. Sprx was torn. On one hand, he had gotten exactly what he wanted. Antauri's vulnerability. Antauri telling him something he had been keeping close to his chest for entirely too long. Antauri showing the cracks in his armor. On the other hand… his pilot's instincts were right. He regretted it. He knew that under all the calm façade and lofty ideals was a real, live monkey… but knowing was different than being confronted with the evidence of it.

Sprx kept silent, however. He had made his decision. All that was left was to lean into it and hope he could salvage whatever remained of the wreckage.

"When the Power Primate was corrupted, and I went to Koralodal to visit with my former Master… he spoke to me. He… told me that he had seen the 'Chosen One fall to the might of the Dark Ones.' And I…"

Sprx's breath caught in his throat. Shit. Shitshitshit. "You sacrificed yourself to seal the egg…" Not because it was the right thing to do, but because… because if he didn't…

Chiro.

Antauri's lips quirked up in a wry smile. "Yes."

Sprx ran his hand down his face, letting the grooves on his fingers catch lightly on his skin. "Monkey doodle."

Antauri snorted. "Quite."

"So you went after the skull. Alone. By yourself. Knowing that we were about to blow the Worm to smithereens." Sprx's voice was flat. "Because you wanted to make sure, once and for all, that Skeleton King was no longer a threat to Chiro. That Xan's screwed up prophecy wouldn't come true."

Antauri inclined his head.

"Shuggazoom, Antauri. Guess you really are as monkey as the rest of us." At least where Chiro was concerned. "You realize that was really stupid, right? I mean—what were you thinking? That new body of yours isn't indestructible. And I really doubt the universe is going to let you come back again. Where would we even put you?"

He was slightly hysterical. What could he say? They had already lost Antauri once, and no matter how irritating he could be, he was still Sprx's brother. His comrade-at-arms. His friend. He didn't want to lose him over a stupid decision.

And—

Why didn't he tell them about this? He could have told them ages ago, about Xan's prophecy! They were a team. A family. They had a right to know when one of their own was in danger. A right to help keep them safe.

But… Antauri had kept it from them.

Did he not… trust them?

Was that it? Had they done something to prove they couldn't be trusted? Sprx was pacing now. Had they made Antauri feel like he couldn't tell them things, couldn't come to them when he needed them? How had they not noticed that the second-in-command had something like this weighing on his shoulders? Sprx rubbed his forehead. Because Antauri hadn't wanted them to, that's how. For all that Antauri sucked at video games, Sprx was willing to bet that he was a pro at cards.

Sprx turned to Antauri. "Why didn't you tell us?"

Antauri grimaced. "It's not that simple, Sprx—"

"Uh. Yeah. It is, actually." Sprx crossed his arms. "See, like this—'Hey, guys, you know my crazy ex-master? I think what drove him to the dark side was seeing a vision of the Chosen One being killed by the Dark Ones!'"

"I didn't want to believe it!" The phrase was ripped out of him in a shout.

Sprx stepped back. He could count on one hand the amount of times that Antauri had raised his voice at him or the others. His eyes were wide. He blinked, once—twice.

Antauri put his face in his hands. "I didn't want to believe it," he repeated, quieter, his voice sounding a whole lot more broken than Sprx was comfortable with. "I don't want to believe it. But… I… can't get it out of my head, either."

Sprx grimaced. "So… you're… what? Kid-proofing the war? He's gonna notice if you keep him from going after Skeleton King, Antauri."

Antauri grimaced. "Yes. I know."

Sprx narrowed his eyes. "You weren't thinking of running off again, were you?"

The silence was far more telling than anything Antauri said ever would be.

Sprx dragged his hands down his face again. "Seriously, Antauri? Aren't you the one who's always on about communication and how important it is to working as a team?"

Antauri winced. "I—"

Sprx held up his hand. "Nope. Nuh-uh. I'm not listening to anymore excuses. We're big kids, Antauri. I know Mandarin was tough on all of us, and you had to step up—and seriously; thank you for that. But that was a long time ago. We don't need any more secrets. Especially right now. So if you've got anything else to 'fess up, now's the time."

"Not if either of us wants to get any rest it isn't," Antauri said, wearily. "And we haven't even talked about what you went through after touching the Fire of Hate."

Sprx snorted. "Something tells me we're going to be having a lot of midnight chats. Maybe we should invite the others. Throw a party. Discuss all our issues. Maybe actually work as a team for once."

Antauri sighed. "That would entail leaving Chiro out at least one of those nights, you know. Maybe a lot of them," he said sadly. "He doesn't need to know about Xan's prophecy."

Sprx grimaced. "No, he doesn't. Kid'd blame himself almost as bad as we do." He sighed, and sank back down onto the cushion. "Hell, Antauri. How'd we get ourselves into this mess?"

Antauri chuckled. "I have no idea."

Neither of them knew that just outside the door, a wide-eyed teenager was listening, his heart caught in his throat.