#if i've worded things incorrectly please let me know

[userlando]

lending a hand — lando norris

lando norris x fem!reader [5.5k] summary: exams are coming up and studying for it turns out to be more tedious than usual. luckily, lando is around & more than eager to lend a helping hand. warnings: 18+ fingering, dirty talk, protected sex (piv), brief oral, doggy, missionary, dom!lando, derogatory name calling, choking, slapping (lando smacks a tit and ass lol), everything is absolutely consensual a/n: HI EVERYONE!! i know it's been agesss since i came on here and i'm still kind of on a hiatus because i just haven't been feeling tumblr lately. i wrote this piece a while back for another cc but they've since then showed themselves to be a bad person and i don't wanna be associated with that. so i rewrote and added some things because i really like this one. so hopefully you do too :') i love u and miss u all so much, i'll hopefully jump back on when i've got my mojo back!! read before interacting: I suck at biology and googled every single medical term and everything it’s got to do with it. i’m so sorry if i wrote something incorrectly, please don’t come for me. thank you x

The air was stifling hot and damp, your fingers were cramping up and the words on your textbooks were starting to blur into one big mess the longer you stared at them. There were so many books laid out in front of you, pictures of cartooned organs and human anatomy that on any other day, would be of massive help. But right now they just made your head hurt even more.

When your fingers cramped up for the fourth time, you let go of your pencil and watched it land softly on the sheets in front of you. You were in serious need of a massage, tension rippling in your body that would only perish once your final exams were over and done with. It wasn’t long until you took them, two weeks to be exact but the stress was weighing heavier on you than you’d like to admit.

The only thing pushing you forward was the fact that you’d be one step closer to graduating and the promised deep massage in Monaco’s finest spa.

Your boyfriend had been the true pillar in your life. Lando been so patient and tried to help in any way he could when you’d seek comfort in his arms and awkwardly stumbled words. Poor thing didn’t know how to make your stress go away when you were at your worst, but he certainly tried his best and that was all that mattered. Lando felt helpless at those times, but he found himself relaxing when he held you and could feel the tension in your shoulders lessen.

You’d been neglecting him for over a week now, but he was nothing if not understanding and he took advantage of that time to spend more in front of his computer with his friends or even the racing sim, while you holed up in your shared bedroom.

It had made you feel a little guilty at first, seeing as it was his season break and he’d intended to spend his free time with you but your schedules didn’t align enough. There were only so many hours you could spend procrastinating before the stress got to be too much.

You’d first opted to sit next to him while he played and streamed but you’d found him too big of a distraction so it hadn’t been long before you migrated to your bedroom. Hearing him from down the hall was comfort enough.

It was as if your thoughts had summoned him, the creak of the door pulling your attention to it and you blinked away the blur in your eyes to watch his upper body and head peak through the space. The curls on his head were wild, unrulier than usual and you’d have taken a step back to admire them if you had the strength to.

“You alright?” He asked tentatively, and you nodded with a wave of your hand; Gesturing for him to come in because suddenly you were in need of his comforting hug.

He’d gone quiet in his office a while ago and you figured he’d gone offline, not hearing a peep from him. Or maybe you’d had, and just didn’t notice.

“You need a break.” Lando murmured as he stepped inside, coming to stand by the bed.

You blinked up at him and realised the blur in your eyes were from unshed tears of exhaustion. It seemed as if Lando realised it at the same time you did, letting out a surprised soft laugh as he pouted his bottom lip in sympathy.

“Darling.” He reached out both of his hands to cradle your face, thumbs reaching out to swipe beneath your eyes. “This isn’t healthy.”

“I’m not crying, I swear.” You placed your hands over his, letting out a watery laugh at the worry in his eyes. “I’m just tired. These words aren’t making sense anymore.”

Lando made a sound in his throat, turning to plop down on the bed. You tried to keep the scowl from showing on your face when he moved around the meticulously arranged papers on the sheets, but he saw it and grimaced in something you guessed were apologetic.

“How about we go out and get something to eat?” Your boyfriend suggested, laying down on his side and propping his head up with the help of his hand.

“I’m not hungry.” That was a lie.

You’d been cooped up in your room for over - you glanced at the clock and winced - three hours, and the last time you’d ate was a bowl of yogurt and granola. It wasn’t healthy, and you always made a point of eating before your insides started twisting with hunger, but it was easy to get carried away while revising.

“Don’t pull that shit on me.” Lando’s eyes rolled, reaching a hand out to nudge you in the side to garner a reaction out of you. You jumped with a startled giggle, swatting at his hand. “Just an hour and then we’ll be back, I promise.”

You shook your head, no matter how tempting that offer was. You knew yourself well enough to know that you’d go out to eat, come back and then push studying aside to cuddle in bed with him. And seeing as the both of you hadn’t gone further than kissing for the past week, Lando would definitely not protest if you procrastinated in order to spend some quality time with him.

“Lan, I love you but I really cannot abandon this until I’m done.” You gestured to the mountain of stress in front of you.

Lando followed the gesture with his eyes, stretching a hand out to pluck a notebook with your scribble on it. You watched him scan it, a furrow making its way between his bushy eyebrows and it made you smile involuntarily. He looked absolutely adorable and so very confused.

“Medical terminology…” He read before trailing off with a sound of aversion. “So… What? You need to memorise these words?”

It would be a lie if you said that you hadn’t been a little distracted while he skimmed over the pages as if he understood what the words such as Popliteal and Supraclavicular meant. You were too busy looking at the arch of his nose and the tempting pout of his lips, admiring the slight redness covering the apples of his cheeks.

His eyes flicked up and you blinked back to reality, ignoring the teasing smile playing on his lips as you answered his previous question with a forlorn nod. You watched him light up slightly as an idea struck him.

“What?”

“What if I help you out?” He asked, sitting up slightly.

You almost laughed. Help? You’d be a delicious distraction.

“How would you help me?” You asked instead, smiling as he sat up fully and waved the notebook in his hand between you two. As if that would answer your question.

“May I?” He asked and you looked at his hand hovering over the textbooks.

It took you a second to realise what he was asking and you almost shook your head no, but Lando looked too excited and you weren’t about to rain on his parade so you nodded.

He didn’t waste any time with packing everything up and placing them in a surprisingly organised pile on the floor by the bed, keeping the notebook he’d been holding close by as he scooted up the bed and laid down with his head on the pillow. You gazed at him questioningly, feeling lost.

“Wow… You sure cleared my confusion up.” You said slowly after a beat of silence.

You watched your boyfriend roll his eyes, so sassy and so Lando it made your chest hurt with adoration.

“Alright smartass. Come here.” His hand circled your wrist and the tug almost sent you flying over him. You squealed in surprise, thankfully steadying yourself before you toppled over and looked down on Lando between the curtain of hair that had fallen over your face. “Sorry.”

You slapped his chest lightly and rearranged yourself so you were straddling his thighs gently as he’d probably intended to have you do from the start. The position made unexpected arousal flare up in your abdomen and it wasn’t disappearing any time soon with the way Lando was looking up at you from his position.

“Alright, can you please tell me what’s going on?” You asked nicely and placed your hands over his where they’d snuck up and found a home on your thighs.

He freed one hand and grabbed yours, fingers slotting nicely between yours and you resisted the sudden urge to grind down on him. Something about this man made you shamelessly feral.

“Okay so, you have to memorise all this gibberish and what better way than to practice on me?” He finished his sentence by tugging softly on your hand and you bent down when you understood his silent request, slotting your lips against his.

His lips felt soft and you couldn’t help but open up to his tongue, your body automatically melting into his as his free hand found its place on the small of your back to pull you in closer.

You allowed yourself a few seconds before sitting back up in his lap, feeling slightly disoriented.

“Is this your way of getting me into bed?” You narrowed your eyes jokingly in suspicion, earning a laugh from him.

“No, I genuinely want to help. But I wouldn’t mind you in bed with me, either.” He replied, pushing his hips up to readjust his position and jostling you in the process. “Go ahead, where do you wanna start?”

You pursed your lips in thought, deciding that starting at his face and working yourself down was the best way to do it. You were, after all, already sat on his legs and had made yourself quite comfortable. With your decision made, you placed one hand on the left side of Lando’s head and got close to him.

Lando sucked his lips into his mouth, big eyes watching you in silence but his facial expression said it all. It truly had been too long since you’d had sex, but maybe there was a way of incorporating intimacy into studying. Who birds, one stone and all that.

“So, this is the frontal.” You murmured, the other hand coming up to swipe a gentle finger across his forehead before moving down to his cheekbone. “The zygomatic bone.”

Lando blinked slowly, but he stayed silent as your fingers trailed down over the slope of his nose. A giggle left your lips as he scrunched his nose, the skin moving beneath the tips of your fingers.

“The nasal,” You muttered, trailing your fingers up to gently touch his eyelids as he closed his eyes. You couldn’t help but place soft kisses over each of them, watching him flutter them open to look at you. His eyelashes were ridiculously long and seductive. You hated it. “Oculus.”

Lando shifted beneath you, tongue coming out to wet his lips and you were immediately drawn to the sheen of them. You let out a small desperate breath, closing the small distance between the two of you for a kiss. Your boyfriend made a sound in his throat and you pulled back barely an inch to whisper.

“Oral cavity.” Before diving back in for a second kiss that he was more than happy to reciprocate.

It was easy to lose yourself in his touch and the warmth of his body against yours, your hand coming up to grab his thick hair in your grip while his circled around your body to pull you flush against him.

“Lando…” You let out a small whine when he pulled back to bite on your bottom lip, sucking it into his mouth in a way that had your toes curling. “Fuck me.”

Any other day and you’d probably flush at the way you sounded so whiny, but you didn’t have time to overthink it before your boyfriend gathered up what remained of his self restraint to pull back. You chased his lips and only got a nip back, making you pout down at him.

“Keep going.” He ordered and you scooted up so your nether regions were flush against each other. He hissed your name in warning, “Don’t be a brat, finish what you started.”

You huffed and opened your mouth to protest but caught yourself when you saw the expression on his face. Shit, he really wasn’t playing around.

“Fine.” You bit out, wiggling a little in place to feel the smooth hardness of Lando between your legs.

The man in question tutted and reached out to grip your throat in a hold, gentle but it was strong enough to catch you off guard and still yourself in his lap.

“What is this part called?” He asked, awfully casual for someone who was half hard with their hand wrapped around your throat.

He flexed his fingers lightly and you searched your muddled brain for the answer, fighting the urge to moan when he squeezed. It wasn’t fair, he knew what he was doing to you.

“The esophagus.” You whispered, not daring to look away from his intense gaze as he carefully unwrapped his fingers from said body part, two of his fingers tapping your chin before resting on your bottom lip.

“Open.” He commanded softly and you did, without question.

You held his eyes as he slid two fingers inside, tasting the saltiness of his skin as he stroked over your tongue. The urge to gag hit you when he slid too far down, eyes watering when he wiggled his fingers inside teasingly.

“What’s this called?” He asked, and you could see the teasing pull of the corners of his mouth when you glared down at him.

How am I supposed to respond with your fingers down my throat? Your eyes screamed, but Lando merely raised his eyebrows and pressed his fingers forward in retaliation.

You gagged, a sound of despair escaping your drooling mouth.

You tried to reply with “Pharynx” but the words came out as a jumbled mess and you drooled down his fingers. But it was apparently good enough for Lando because he pulled back slightly to let you breathe more properly, stroking the width of your tongue in a silent command. You sucked on his fingers, cleaning them off of any saliva before he retrieved them entirely.

“Good girl.” The rasp in his voice made your stomach swoop as he smiled at you, placing his hands on either side of your hips. “Go on.”

You stared at him, not entirely sure what to do but he gave you the answer when he tugged on your t-shirt; A silent urge to take it off. You didn’t waste any time, grabbing it by the hem and lifting it off your torso; Almost falling over in the process. Lando chuckled at your eagerness and your face burned, but you refused to let that affect you. The two of you looked at one another for a beat before he dropped his gaze to your heaving, exposed chest. Never had you been happier to have foregone a bra, especially when he stroked both hands up your sides. He felt your skin beneath his palms, a shiver escaping you.

“Please,” You whispered, grinding down on the hardness beneath you. Your eyes fluttered.

“Please what?” His voice sounded teasing, bright eyes trained on you.

Instead of answering him verbally, you grabbed his hands in yours and placed them over the swell of your breasts. Lando inhaled at the feel of them in his palms, letting you squeeze his hands in yours. A moan escaped your mouth as his thumbs swiped over your nipples until they pebbled, back arching into his hold.

“So needy for me.”

His rough voice had you opening your eyes and he must’ve seen something in them because he took pity on you. The yelp that left your lips was anything but attractive when he embraced you and flipped you both over. Lando laughed when you bounced on the mattress, and you couldn’t help but giggle as the tension broke.

“Please, Lando.” You pleaded after the both of you had calmed down from your little fit, hands coming up to feel the taut of his stomach over his t-shirt.

You sounded needy in your own ears but you didn’t really care. And judging by your boyfriends teeth sinking into his bottom lip, he loved hearing you like this.

“Please what, darling?” His eyebrows drew together in fake sympathy, his gaze dropping to your chest when you arched your back.

You opened your mouth to answer him but the words died on your lips the second Lando leaned down and sucked a nipple into his mouth. You should’ve seen it coming, because he could never keep away from your tits for too long but the suction made you gasp all the same, hands coming up to grab at the back of his head.

“Just fuck me already.” You said.

Lando grabbed the both of your hands in his before pinning them to the side, suckling harsher on your teat before kissing his way over to the other side. You didn’t know what to focus on, the cool air on your wet nipple, his unforgiving mouth on the other one or the way his hands were digging into the skin of your wrists. The thought of him bruising you made you buck your hips up, craving it more than ever.

“You’re impatient tonight.” He drew back, blowing cool air on your saliva soaked skin and making you squirm. “I can’t decide whether I should punish you for being a needy little slut or fuck the brattiness out of you.”

You knew you shouldn’t talk back, but the words were out of your mouth before you could stop them.

“Anything would be better than this.” It came out as an indignant mutter but Lando’s eyes flared in challenge.

It was quick and you didn’t have time to react to his hand sailing down and slapping the meat of your breast. You yelled out in shock, feeling your pussy clench around nothing as you tried to sit up as an automatic response. Lando tutted, quickly grabbing you by the throat and pushing you down with a strength that had you gasping for breath.

“This is what happens when I don’t fuck you for a week,” He hissed, eyebrows drawn in anger but you could see the desire in his eyes as he bent down to your eye level. “One week without my cock and you start acting like a bitch.”

Holy fuck, the filth coming from his mouth made your nerves light up in anticipation. It had been too long, so fucking long since he talked and behaved like this. You hadn’t realised how much you missed it until now.

His hand let go of your throat and instead cupped your chin, his fingers squeezing your mouth together until your eyes fluttered shut in need with a moan. Lando grinned down at you, tightening his grip just to watch your eyes roll before pressing a filthy kiss to your mouth that you barely had time to reciprocate before he pulled back.

It felt like you were in a daze, feeling him pull your sweatpants off along with your panties. He made an offhand comment about the wetness that you didn’t register, choosing to grit your teeth and ball your fists to keep from touching yourself instead.

Lando undressed himself without getting off the bed, albeit a little clumsily but he recovered quick and grabbed your thighs to spread them apart. The look on his face made you flush hot all over, almost like you were a meal he couldn’t wait to devour.

“Look at that, so wet already.” He hummed in appreciation and coated one finger in your slick before sinking it inside of you, revelling in your gasps. “All this for me, baby?”

“Mmm,” You swallowed, throat drying up and eyes closing at the sensation. “Just for you, Lando.”

“That’s what I thought.” He said smugly.

He sank a second finger inside and scissored them until he deemed you stretched enough, his free hand stopping your thighs from closing when you started to feel him pull out. It had been too long since you’d been touched like this, and Lando was always so talented with his fingers. He could truly play you like a fiddle.

“Don’t.” He growled, the tone of his voice making you squirm and separate your legs obediently again. “Good girl.”

You watched him in silence as he pulled his fingers out, slipping them into his mouth to clean them off with a hum that you felt in your core. Sweat was beading on your forehead and you were sure that you looked a mess. Lando didn’t seem to mind it though, his eyes roaming appreciatively over your body before settling on your face. His eyes softened at whatever he saw in your eyes and something warm bloomed in your chest.

“Kiss me, please?” You begged, suddenly needing him near you.

Lando didn’t hesitate as he bent over to press his mouth to yours, the kiss uncharacteristically gentle consider how crudely his cock was pressing against your mound, one hand sinking into your hair to tilt your head to his liking. He broke the kiss for a moment to reach to the side, opening up the drawer with a groan and rifling through the contents. You watched in mild amusement, taking in the pinch of his eyebrows and the concentration on his face. You took the opportunity to press kisses to his shoulder and up his throat, your tongue tasting the saltiness of his sweaty skin. Lando’s unstable position faltered and you sucked a small lovebite into the delicate skin of his neck for good measure.

“Fuck.” He swore with a breathless laugh, steadying himself and sitting upright.

You smiled up at him, planting your feet on the bed and bending your legs so Lando could get even closer to where you needed him the most. His bright eyes found yours, eyebrows rising. He bit into the tinfoil, tearing it open and fishing the condom out to slip it on.

The rubber wasn’t needed, not really. But Lando knew you well enough to know when you had enough energy after the deed to clean yourself up, and today wasn’t one of those days. He would often do it himself, ignoring your embarrassing protests as he wiped you down with a cloth and eventually giving up when he swatted your hands away.

Anticipation rose in you when he positioned himself but he seemed to change his mind at the last second, a devilish smile widening on his lips when he patted the side of your hip twice. You knew what that meant and you bit your lip in uncertainty. The dreaded position you loved and hated at the same time.

“Turn around and don’t make me ask twice.” Lando said after reading the look on your face and you made a noise that sounded a lot like dislike.

But you definitely didn’t want to stall it any longer, so you turned your body around and pressed your cheek against the mattress with your eyes closed. This position hit absolutely every nerve inside of you, but it also left you completely exposed and that’s mainly why you hated it.

Lando grabbed your hips and lifted you upwards so your knees were beneath you, exhaling as he slid his hands from your ass and down your back. The feel of his palm against the skin of your back made you arch despite your initial hesitation and something about that made the man behind you feel all the more needier.

“So fucking gorgeous,” You heard him whisper and you believed it. “Can’t wait to sink into this pretty little cunt.”

Unexpected heat shot down your back and you moaned, pressing back against Lando in hopes that he’d finally get the hint and fuck you. Your hands gripped the sheets on either side of your bed in anticipation at the thought.

“Fuck me, please.” It came out as a whispered plea.

“I will, don’t worry, love.”

And with that promise, he nudged himself inside. You arched in response, eyes shutting as he started pushing inside little by little. The stretch was incredible, making your toes curl and mouth open in a silent moan. Lando let out a sound of his own as he bottomed out, one hand grabbing your hips while the other settled over the small of your back to push down gently. You arched, and he seemed to like that because he immediately drew back before thrusting back in.

He found a rhythm you assumed he liked and you matched it by pushing back when he pushed in. A wave of heat overtakes you and your eyes roll in your sockets the harder he thrusts; Like a man on a mission, eager to bury himself inside you as far as he can go.

It hadn’t occured to you just how badly you’d been neglecting Lando lately, but it was evident in how his hands grabbed anywhere he could find purchase, your name leaving his mouth in a chant as he fucked you harder. You needed this as much as he did.

“Fuck, oh my God.” You tried to pull your hand back to touch yourself but you were jostled too harshly and you ended up being thrown off balance.

A high pitched whine left your mouth as Lando slipped out and just as you were about to turn your head to look at him, he’d grasped your hips and turned you around on your back. He reached for the pillow next to your head, stuffing it under your hips and kissing just beneath your navel in the process as a silent praise for raising your hips without him having to ask.

You watched with bated breath as he pressed kisses down your stomach, over your mound before latching his mouth onto your clit. The unexpected touch of his sinful mouth had you throwing your head back, squeezing your eyes shut.

“Oh my God, Lando...” You moaned, attempting to tilt your head down so you could watch him but he was quick to flick his tongue against your clit and it only made you arch into his mouth.

Lando was holding the base of his cock, squeezing and willing himself not to blow too soon. He’d been waiting to get inside you long enough and he wasn’t about to end it before he’d had his fill of you. When he deemed it safe enough, he pulled away and positioned himself between your legs before sliding in. His teeth sunk into his bottom lip at your reaction, loving the flutter of your eyelids and the pretty way your mouth opened in a pathetic moan.

He couldn’t help but lower himself down onto you, mindful as to not suffocate you but just enough for you to feel the press of his chest against yours as he started fucking into your wet heat.

You took it like a champion, arms circling his upper body and legs falling open as he fucked you into the mattress with reckless abandon. The stress you’d been feeling the past week was slowly seeping out of you, and you welcomed the feeling of it as you brought Lando to your mouth, kissing him until you lost your breath.

“You’re so pretty,” Lando murmured against your lips breathlessly. “My pretty baby.”

He slid one hand between the two of you, long fingers finding your clit and rubbing it in a way that had you crying out against his mouth. Lando refused to blink, didn’t want to miss the look on your face as he brought you closer to euphoria.

“You know what this is, baby?” He asked, hand cupping your pussy and trying not to falter when he felt where the two of you were connected.

Fuck, you were soaking and Lando was really about to blow.

“This is mine.” He hissed, watching the way your eyes rolled before shutting. “Only I get to fuck it, you hear me?”

You opened your mouth to respond that yes, of course it fucking is - but the loud cry that left you instead surprised the both of you as your body tensed up, pussy clenching around his cock as you sobbed through your orgasm. Liquid heat trickled down your back and you momentarily blacked out at the sheer force of you tensing up in your climax.

“Oh fuck.” Lando hissed, dropping his head against the crook of your neck and fucking into your clenching pussy.

If your sounds and the look on your face wasn’t enough to bring him to his end, then the feel of your legs circling around him and locking him into place was enough to do his head in. You moaned weakly as he tensed up in your arms, shooting into the condom and grinding into your sensitive cunt, like he wanted to bury himself as deep as possible.

He probably didn’t realise that in his high, he’d dropped his entire weight on you but you absolutely didn’t mind it; Finding comfort in his heaving body and the feel of his damp hair as you buried your fingers into it.

“God, you’re gonna fucking kill me.” He garbled against your skin as he pulled himself out of you, lifting his head weakly to take a look at you.

You couldn’t help but grin at his flushed face and blown wide pupils, feeling thrilled that this gorgeous man loved you. And you loved him, so much.

“I could really go for a sandwich from the deli down the street right now.” You whispered dreamily, closing your eyes shut as he brought a shaking hand up to swipe a few damp strands from your forehead.

Lando pulled a face.

“If you think we’re not gonna order in, you’re sorely mistaken.”

He shook his head at the thought of leaving the bed - leaving you naked in his bed - to buy sandwiches. No matter how absolutely amazing they were. You blinked up at him with big eyes, pouting your lip and Lando knew right then that he’d lost any willpower he’d had left.

“Oh, you’re good.” He narrowed his eyes, sneaking his hands down to tickle your sides.

You squealed, squirming underneath him and yelling at him to stop, your body too weak to fight back. Lando kept going for a few seconds before he let you push him to the side so you were half laying on top of him instead.

“You’re evil.” You glared at him, but he could see the twitch of your raw lips and the love in your eyes so he didn’t take it too hard.

Lando gripped your chin gently and brought you in a for a kiss before pulling back to look at you. You blinked back and he smiled.

“Alright I’ll go down to the shop in one condition.” He said, trying to sound serious despite the massive grin on his face. “You hop in the shower, and then I want all these books gone from this room by the time I get back. We’re taking the rest of the night off.”

You suppressed a smile at the “we”, nodding your head reluctantly instead because for once you weren’t overwhelmed with stress and you weren’t about to bring it all back when Lando had worked so hard to relieve you of it. Hopefully he’d relieve you of it a couple more times later tonight.

“It’s a deal.” You agreed verbally, bringing your pinky to hook into his own.

“Alright, let’s get to it.” He brought an arm around and slapped your ass.

You jumped with a gasp, glaring at your boyfriend who cackled and jumped out of bed before you could kick him in retaliation. He looked amused as he walked around the bed to find tissues and get rid of the condom, cleaning himself up the best he could. He found the clothes he’d thrown on the floor, pulling them on all the while watching you stretch on the bed like a cat. It was so tempting to crawl back into bed and have his way with you but he gritted his teeth and turned to locate his wallet and phone.

“Text me your order, I’ll see you in a bit.” He said and leaned down to press two kisses to your lips, making a noise in his throat when you wound your hands in his hair and pulled him closer for a few more kisses. “I love you.”

You grinned against his mouth, teeth knocking together but you were too happy to care as he nipped your lower lip and pulled himself up to stand straight.

“Love you too. Be safe.”

You watched him walk out, smiling to yourself at how incredibly lucky you were.

[nanamiscocksleeve]

heyy ray! first things first, i LOVE your writing. that's all i have to say like i literally go nuts every time

sooo this is not a kinktober request and i know you probably have TOO many things to write lol butttt if it's in your taste i'd really like to see your take on the lads man reacting to their lady not wanting to have sex because she hasn't shaved while being away on a mission or something and is feeling insecure about that ig???

and! if i can ask to be the little moon emoji🌙 then i'd like to, please! as always thanks for all the stories you're aMAZING

Hi there! Yes you can be moon anon. Thank you for the kind words! It makes me happy that people are enjoying my work.

Soooo it's actually such a coincidence that you mentioned the body hair thing because I have a story wip for Zayne involving that particular area and hair 😆😆😆 Keep an eye for it btw!

As for the general reaction of the men, I genuinely think all of them are mature enough to handle a little hair and they're not bothered by it. This is how I think this would go.

Sylus: He'll look at reader quite suspiciously. He knows she's not on her period and after trying to get an answer from her, he'll stop when she tells him to quit asking. For a little while anyway. They have a shared home delivery app and when reader makes a purchase later that night he sees all the hair removal products and instantly makes the connection. He'll seek her out, tell her he doesn't care and that his kitten can't be a kitten if there's no hair on her pussy 🤭. When reader protests, he'll pull her close and tell her he missed her and if it really bothers her, she can get a bikini wax tomorrow. He'll even pay for it, but he's needy for her NOW and nothing in his view can change how beautiful she is, hair or no hair.

Xavier: Will assume she's on her period and brings over stuff for her like tea, chocolate, and some selfcare stuff like scented candles and face masks. Reader will be amused at Xavier's assumption and after a few shy moments, she'll tell him in a very vague way that she feels unkempt and that's why she doesn't want to have sex. Xavier thinks unkempt = hasn't bathed and asks if maybe she wants to take a quick shower together. At this point reader shakes her head and admits that she hasn't had time to self-groom down there because of her mission. Things finally click in Xavier's head and he'll ask if he can look and if he doesn't think it looks unkempt then they have should have sex. Of course Xavier gets pussy drunk the minute he sees it and they end up having sex.

Rafayel: This man will straight up pout if you tell him you don't want to have sex. And he'll try to guilt you as well. He'll say you must not love him anymore or that you're hiding a secret from him. Then finally in exasperation, reader will ask him if he wants to fuck a shag carpet because that's what it looks like down there. And of course Rafayel, with his sarcasm and playfullness will say something like "A shag rug for a pussy? I've never heard of such a thing I have to see it now!" And you'll have to show him before he throws another fishy tantrum. When he looks at it he'll sigh dramatically and say "It's not even close to a shag carpet, you exaggerate everything. Now that it's out in the open, let's just have sex."

Zayne: Without giving too much away from my fic...Zayne doesn't care. He's a doctor. He's seen his fair share of hair on body parts and isn't fazed. Also, the vibe I get from them seems to be more of a long-term couple and they've seen each other through their ups and downs so reader will straight up tell him she feels self-conscious about having sex because she hasn't shaved. Zayne will say he respects her decision but removing the hair can cause ingrowns and itching and he doesn't want her to do it incorrectly in order to have sex as soon as possible. He convinces her that they should have sex at least once before she removes it because there's no telling how she might feel after the exhaustion of removing all the hair. You can remove it on your own time but right now he wants you and let's face it, you've popped pimples off his back and he's seen you trimming your toenails, are you really going to let a little hair stop you from riding this man? 🤭🤭🤭

[papiliotao]

꒰ 𝒔𝒖𝒈𝒂𝒓𝒚 𝒔𝒘𝒆𝒆𝒕 ✩࿐

pairings: kazuha, scaramouche, and xiao x gn!reader (separate)

content: fluff, kissing, mutual pining, pocky game

summary: in which you convince your best friend to play the pocky game with you.

a/n: i don't know why i've suddenly developed an obsession with kissing. either way, please enjoy reading!

“I’m sorry. I must have heard you incorrectly,” KAZUHA says with a smile. A slight dusting of rose pink tints his cheeks a hue reminiscent of bygone sunsets as he shyly glances away from you. “But if I wasn’t mistaken, then I wouldn’t be opposed to your idea,” he whispers.

Your heart skips a beat.

Kazuha is charming beyond measure. His words flow like an autumn breeze, and the way he acts around you never fails to make your heart flutter.

“Then let’s play the Pocky game,” you repeat yourself.

Kazuha’s grin widens. “So my ears weren’t deceiving me,” he says, trailing off towards the end. He meets your gaze, and as you look into his eyes, you swear you can see molten ruby glints of adoration glittering in their depths. However, you don’t want to get your hopes up, so you brush it off as nothing more than your imagination playing tricks on you.

Kazuha gently reaches out for the pack of Pocky you’re holding and opens it. He takes one stick out and sets the rest of the pack down on a nearby table.

“Shall we?” he asks.

He lifts the Pocky up to your lips, and you bite down. You immediately notice that he ended up giving you the side that you prefer. It shocks you how well he remembers the little things. Even though you’re best friends, you didn’t expect Kazuha to recall such an obscure intricacy. It was just something you had offhandedly mentioned once, yet in Kazuha’s mind, it was a statement that remained vivid and bright, akin to the most picturesque of memories.

He must really care about you.

Kazuha bites the other end, and as he does, you feel your skin heating up. He’s so close. It feels like your brain is short-circuiting. Why does your best friend have to be so undeniably handsome? Up close, it is impossible for you to miss his snowy hair, reminiscent of dazzling glacial glimmers of winter, as well as eyes filled with flurries of autumn maple leaves dancing about, mingling with flecks of stardust.

The two of you nibble at your respective ends of the Pocky stick. To your slight dismay, Kazuha takes his time, savouring the moment instead of trying to rush things. You feel yourself getting more flustered by the second. While he had initially appeared slightly shy, he’s now completely calm and composed, and in stark contrast to him, you’re an absolute mess on the inside.

Before you know it, your lips are practically touching Kazuha’s. He’s so close. You can feel his breath fanning your face, and soft strands of platinum hair tickle your skin.

You freeze up. Now your brain has really stopped functioning. You can’t do anything while Kazuha is this close to you, and you doubt you’ll be able to make another move before Kazuha does something. Why did you think this was a good idea again?

Luckily for you, Kazuha takes the initiative of snapping you out of your trance by taking the last bite. Your lips meet for just a split second before both of you pull away, looking anywhere but each other as you immerse yourselves in the afterglow of your actions.

A silence hangs in the atmosphere for what feels like an eternity before Kazuha speaks.

“I’m sorry if I was a bit too bold with my advances,” Kazuha says apologetically. He manages to muster the courage to look at you, and as you scan his face, you notice a whole plethora of emotions swimming through his expression. Your best friend smiles at you sheepishly.

Your heart melts upon seeing his grin.

You shake your head. “No, don’t worry. I actually kind of enjoyed it, even the part where we kissed…” you admit shyly.

Kazuha breathes out a sigh of relief. He seems strangely happy.

“Then in that case, please allow me to request a favour,” Kazuha says. He waits for you to nod before continuing. “This may be a bit presumptuous of me, but please kiss me again — properly, this time.”

“You can’t be serious,” your best friend says without a hint of hesitation lacing his words. SCARAMOUCHE’s eyes narrow as he reciprocates your stare.

“But I am,” you reiterate.

He shakes his head and crosses his arms in front of his chest. Strands of hair spun of the midnight sky fall in front of his eyes as he moves, and his breath hitches for just a moment when he realizes you’re not kidding.

“This is ridiculous,” he mumbles before he takes a packet of Pocky off his bedside table. With a few tugs, the silvery wrapping tears apart. He takes out a singular stick of the sweet treat.

“Will you shut up if I do this for you?” he asks.

“I will,” you promise, although you have no intention of adhering to your agreement.

Scaramouche always acts as if he’s irritated by you, but you know he enjoys your company. On occasions as rare as an appearance of the northern lights, he admits that he cares for you, making your heart glow up with all the colours of the brilliant Aurora Borealis.

You know him better than anyone, but what you’re not sure of is how he’ll react to playing the Pocky game with you. Most of the time, he’s quite stoic — apathetic despite the sentiments and colours of the world that flow on the wind.

But no one would be able to maintain a calm demeanour when they’re practically kissing their best friend, right?

It’s time to find out.

“You can have the side dipped in chocolate,” Scaramouche says. “And don’t you dare think I’m doing this for you. I just happen to hate sweets.”

You giggle. “Sure,” you say playfully. You know that Scaramouche is telling the truth, but it’s always fun to tease him because it elicits the best reactions.

However this time, Scaramouche just groans and holds up a stick of Pocky.

“Get to it before I change my mind,” he tells you.

Scaramouche lifts the treat up to his lips and sinks his teeth into the plain end. He stares at you expectantly, waiting for you to make a move. You bite down on your end, and you feel your face heat up. You’re too flustered by your proximity to your best friend to notice the sweet taste of chocolate bursting in your mouth.

Gradually, you nibble at the chocolate-coated snack while Scaramouche does the same. It seems like neither of you are feeling too bold at the moment; however, you still inch closer and closer with every passing second.

It’s painfully slow, and as time drags on, the rate of your heartbeat only starts increasing. Each excruciating second undergoes a metamorphosis into a century as your best friend’s blush-tinted face draws closer to your own.

And finally, when only a few centimetres remain between the two of you, he stops. You’re frozen in place too, and as you gaze into his eyes, everything around you becomes irrelevant — mere specks of fading supernovas in a galaxy of wonders.

Your breath hitches.

In all your years of knowing Scaramouche, he has never appeared this shy before. It’s endearing, heart-warming. Who knew that this adorable side to him existed?

One second…

Two seconds…

And three seconds pass.

Before Scaramouche finally decides to make a move. He leans in. Closer and closer.

You tense up, but at the same time, you feel yourself melt into an amalgamation of giddiness. You’re ready for whatever will happen next.

You feel the urge to squeeze your eyes shut, almost anticipating a kiss, but thankfully, your hopes aren’t too high. Because just when Scaramouche’s lips barely ghost yours, causing your heart to flutter like maple leaves in autumn wind, he pulls back, snapping off the last bit of Pocky.

“I win,” Scaramouche says after swallowing the final piece. His face is adorned with a smirk and a proud expression that you just know you’ll be seeing for the next few days.

“I guess so,” you sigh, admitting defeat. “But don’t act like you weren’t blushing like crazy a few seconds ago!”

Scaramouche freezes for a second before crossing his arms. “I did no such thing.”

“Oh, really?” you question.

“You’ve got to be kidding me,” he groans. He narrows his eyes at you, refusing to admit that he had allowed you to glimpse into his heart and learn the true nature of his feelings.

However, as your conversation continues, shades of sunset begin to dust his cheeks once more, dawning on his pale complexion like the most serene instances of carefree days bleeding into vivid nightfalls.

“This is foolish,” XIAO says bluntly, staring at you intently with eyes full of honeyed sunlight as you open a pack of Pocky.

He’s not impressed, and you can tell. However, you know that even though Xiao acts as though he’s unwilling to partake in the little game you proposed, he’s not actually against it. He’s your best friend, and after years of growing up together, you’re sure that he’ll do anything to make you happy, especially if it’s something as trivial as this.

“I know,” you respond nonchalantly. You’ve learned how to deal with Xiao’s tough-on-the-outside attitude by now. Deep down, you know that first of all, as a more reserved person, he doesn’t have the most profound understanding of others, so he might find some of their games rather absurd. Secondly, he’s not great at expressing his emotions, so even though he sounds angry or irritated at times, you understand him well enough to read him like a book.

Xiao merely sighs quietly in response. “Let’s get this over with.” He looks down at the ground, and for a second, you swear you can see the beginnings of a blush coming to life on his face.

You nod and take out a stick of Pocky. You put one end in your mouth and soon enough, Xiao follows your lead.

At first, he stares at you with uncertainty swimming within the daffodil hues of his irises. He’s a little confused, and you don’t blame him. Xiao isn’t someone who usually spends a lot of time with others, so he’s not familiar with things like the latest trends and popular games.

However, he quickly picks up on what he’s supposed to do when you take a bite of the chocolate-coated treat. Xiao follows in your lead, and although each nibble he takes seems slightly hesitant, you note that he’s still trying his best for you. It nearly makes your heart melt into an amalgamation of butterflies.

Xiao seems to be getting more and more flustered by the second. As you inch closer to him, you almost feel as though you can sense the rapid beating of his heart sending reverberations through the air, creating echoes that tell tales of unspoken emotions and unexplored sentiments.

And before you know it, his face is barely an inch away from yours. You can feel his breath tickling your skin and the heat radiating off his face.

The sight of Xiao acting endearingly shy is something you barely ever see. Sure he’s proven to you that he cares for you multiple times, but he’s never been this flustered before. Most of the time, you’re the one who ends up like that around him. Whether it’s a situation where Xiao walks by the side of the road, keeping you as far away from danger as possible whenever you go out for strolls or a scenario where he awkwardly hugs you after a bad day, you can’t help but blush in his presence.

This time, things are the same yet so, so, different. As always, your heart feels as though it’s reeling and on the verge of exploding due to your proximity to Xiao. The only thing that’s changed is the look on Xiao’s face — eyes shining with affection and cheeks tinted with a hue reminiscent of cherry blossoms in the spring divulge feelings that you have long been waiting to see.

The world around you freezes, and for a paradoxical second in a universe where time is infinite, Xiao is the only one in your thoughts, and you’re sure that it’s the same on his end. Everything is nonsensical for a moment, and you don’t know who makes the first move, but soon enough, your lips meet, shattering the perfect dimension you and Xiao have crafted.

For a brief flash of time, you feel yourself kissing Xiao. It’s everything you had imagined and more. Your heart skips a beat, and stars seem to illuminate your world as you relish in the soft feelings that spring from the contact. But to your dismay, the whole experience is over just as quickly as it had begun.

Both you and Xiao pull away when you realize what you’ve done. You both avoid eye contact, shyly averting your gazes so that you can’t see the other. For a few awkward moments, silence hangs in the air.

“Let’s never talk about this again,” you say, mustering up the courage to take a peek at Xiao.

He nods in agreement, looking back at you.

But deep down, the two of you know that there’s nothing you long for more than another kiss.

thank you for reading! i'm sorry if this wasn’t that good. i’ve been really busy with finals and assignments, so i don’t have quite as much time to write. please consider commenting/reblogging if you enjoyed this!

[traumxrei-archive]

【 don't be afraid to get close 】

prompt #1: He had them against the wall but now he can’t stop looking at their mouth… (ft. jamil viper + riddle rosehearts)

gn! prefect (you/yours), drabbles, word count: 737 words

a/n: i said i'd delete requests, but i figured out that writing them out as hcs was a lot faster aND more fun for me. so. the rest of my 600 followers event fics will be in hc format >:DD had lots of fun writing for mr rosehearts and mr viper, so enjoy

Riddle Rosehearts

The one thing that peeved Riddle more than anything was when a uniform was worn incorrectly. So when he saw you walking around the halls with a loosened tie of all things, he knew he had to intervene.

"Prefect?" You looked at him with a slight smile. "Could you come with me for a minute?" You followed him easily to a more secluded part of the hallway, where Riddle could finally grab at your very loose tie.

"Prefect, as i've emphasized, it is important to keep your appearance as neat as possible," Riddle lectured as he continued to tie the knot. "It not only helps with cleanliness, but also with confide–"

Riddle's gaze flitted up. Big mistake.

He tried not to flinch at the proximity of your face to his. He was definitely not paying attention to the curve of your cheek or the part of your lips. Sevens, your lips looked so soft, he wondered if–

He dropped the tie like he was burned

You raised an eyebrow, "Is this how the great Heartslabyul housewarden ties a tie?"

And Riddle went red. He was sure he was flushing down the base of his neck, but he couldn't get his mouth to work.

"Senpai," There was a hand at his arm, tugging while you innocently tilted your head. "Did you get distracted by something?"

Great Queen of Hearts, Riddle was not going to make it out of here alive.

"O-of course not," Riddle forced out, his voice coming out unnaturally high. "I was merely just...we were standing very close together...."

He shut his mouth, intent on salvaging whatever petty pride he still had left. He then grabbed the tie with shaky hands, working at it once again as if he didn't just flush his rapport with you down the drain just seconds before.

Once the tie was done, Riddle sighed with relief, smoothing the material before letting it go.

"Thanks senpai," You said, before leaning in close and– Riddle shut his eyes, a light pressure landing on his cheek. He opened his eyes to see you smiling as you waved, heading to class as if nothing happened.

Riddle, on the other hand, crouched on the ground. He would never be able to get the flush out of his cheeks.

Jamil Viper

Jamil had a love-hate relationship with rain. but today he was bordering on the "hate" side. He was completely drenched, caught off guard by the rain as he quickly ducked into an alcove, tugging you behind him.

He cursed, pulling out two towels from his gym bag, "It's clean." At your questioning look he elaborated, "I bring two because Floyd always tries to steal mine."

Jamil draped the towel over your head, helping you dry your hair out of habit. He was secretly pleased as you let him do as he wanted.

However, he didn't realize how intimate of a situation he had created for himself until he felt you reaching over with the towel in your hand to help him.

That was when Jamil's gaze slid to the wall that he had backed you into, before dropping down to your lips.

Oh.

Jamil averted his eyes, trying hard to school his expression into neutrality. He picked up his pace, swiping at the water with renewed vigor until—

"Jamil?" A small silence. "Hm?" His reply came late, too busy focusing on a droplet of water as it traced down your face, wishing it was his fingers instead.

"You...look like you want a kiss."

Jamil swallowed, throat dry because he had been completely exposed. How was it that you were able to know his feelings so easily?

He saw the nervousness flit across your expression at the prolonged silence, so he let himself speak, "And...what if i do?"

You tugged at the towel around his neck, pulling him that much closer. His lips met yours clumsily, the cold of the rain fleeing for something warmer. He couldn't help but hold you closer, bridging the gap to feel the slide of your skin against his.

As he pulled back, Jamil wasn't sure what was louder, the sound of the rain pelting the roofs, or the sound of his heartbeat in his ears.

"Was that okay?" You asked tentatively, and Jamil all but wanted to laugh.

Instead he smirked, letting his cold fingers press against the warmth of your cheek, "i think i'll need a few more of those to warm up, ya sukar."

thank you for reading this far ^^ if you'd like to see the rest of the 600 followers event, find it here, and if you want to see more of my writing, go check out my masterlist <3 (p.s. to the people asking, 'ya sukar' means 'my sugar' >:D)

[blossom-hwa]

manège | k.th

pairing: Taehyun x gender neutral!reader genre:  fluff, a little angst and comfort, ballet dancer!taehyun and pianist!reader warnings: n/a word count: 1.4k notes: — this pairing's been on my mind for a good year or so, so I'm very happy to have finally written something for them :) please note that I've only been doing ballet for a couple years now, so if I've used any terms incorrectly, I'm very sorry! — for some clarification, mc and taehyun go to an arts school, and mc volunteers as one of the pianists for the ballet studio Taehyun finds his way back to you, again.  

TXT Masterlist

manège: a classical ballet term for “circular,” which describes a series of steps done in a circular pattern around the stage

. . . . .

"...Taehyun?"

The question of his name is quiet enough that if he hadn't noticed the opening of the door in the corner of the mirror, he would have missed it. As it stands, his mind barely processes your voice emerging from behind the door, and it takes a moment to shake off the double tours and pirouettes before he can even recognize the face appearing in the mirror. He blinks sweat away from his eyes. "Y/N?"

"It's late," you say, stepping into the empty studio. "You're still practicing?"

As one, you both look at the clock hanging on the wall. It's long past eight, when Taehyun initially told himself he'd stop—long past nine, even.

Suddenly all of the exhaustion of the day seems to hit him at once. His muscles ache, sweat keeps dripping down his face no matter how much he wipes away, and there's a small but consistent flare of pain in his calf that he should really stop and massage out. Really, he wants nothing more than to just sit down against the wall, or maybe even flop onto the floor and stare at the ceiling while seeing nothing at all. He's been here since eight in the morning and his body clearly knows it.

"Yeah," is all he says in lieu of articulating all of this, though, because his throat feels gravelly and words are hard. "What are you doing here?" he asks instead. It's at least as fair of a question for you as yours was for him.

"I had class," you say. Taehyun takes in your leggings, the loose T-shirt almost covering your shorts, and remembers yes, there was a lower-level class held almost immediately after you got off your shift. "I stayed after to practice."

He frowns. "For almost five hours?" You were playing the piano for his company class until it ended at three. Your adult beginner class ends at four thirty, and it's past nine.

"Not ballet." You shift the weight of several books in your arms, and only then does Taehyun see their worn paper bindings, the music markings on the covers, and remember that people practice things besides dance. "Evaluations coming up. There was a free piano in one of the empty studios."

Ah. Taehyun nods. And then the room falls into silence again, broken only by the sounds of your breathing.

"So." You walk to the empty piano in the room, placing your books on the top before looking at him expectantly. "What are you working on?"

It takes him a moment to register your words, to understand that you're not telling him to leave or go home or get some rest. All of which he should do, but the looming specter of the showcase next week won't let him. "You're not going to tell me to go home and rest?" he asks regardless, and even though his throat squeaks a bit after spending so many hours in silence, you don't laugh. Not at that, anyway.

"Well, would you have gone home if I'd said you should?" you reply, raising an eyebrow. He shakes his head and a smile curves his lips when you give a little laugh. "See?"

"Point taken," he says, and when you laugh again he laughs too. "Grand Pas Classique," he answers your original question. "For the showcase. Next week."

Your mouth parts in a little 'o'. "This one?" you ask, playing out a short melody. He nods. "Can I see?"

He should. He shouldn't. He at once wants to but doesn't, wants to let the melody sing in his blood as he double tours and entrechats around the room, spinning and leaping across the floor, but he also knows that you're here. And if Taehyun is his own harshest critic, he becomes even harsher when someone else is in the room.

You look at him, though, and he looks at you, and he knows that you see him for himself. See the sweaty hair matted into clumps, see the muscles aching behind his skin, see the work put into every effortlessly pointed toe and graceful finger as he takes his beginning position in front of the mirror. And when the music begins to play, the melody spilling into his ears and then into his blood, he looks into the mirror and smiles not because he has to, but because your watchful eyes will never hold judgment. Will never hold disappointment. Will only ever see him, see Taehyun Kang the person and not Taehyun Kang the dancer, and will cherish him for it.

When he's done, the applause of one person cuts through the labored silence of his breathing, and it's enough to keep the smile on his face, to let his muscles finally relax, to wipe the sweat from his brow and sit down. Or—not really. He's still a little too wired to sit, but he leans against the wall of the studio and gestures to where you sit at the piano like it's the most natural position in the world, ready to play but not. "Show me something," he says when he has enough breath to speak. "What are you working on?"

There's a moment when you're flipping through your books, skimming pages filled with music and your careful notes, where Taehyun loses himself, for a moment, in you. When you squint at a few pages, then put the book back on top of the piano, then position yourself at the keys. The preparation—the careful placement of your fingers just as deliberate as his pointed toes and graceful hands—the moment where time holds still, before you give in to the song in your mind and your heart and allow the music to flow through your veins.

It all comes back to you, Taehyun thinks as your fingers waltz and whirl across the keys, dance in enchanting patterns of black and white. From him, to you, back to him and then to you again—in manège, arabesques and jetés leaping about the stage, coming away from the center only to reach it again the way everything always returns to you. Your voice, your music, always there. Always constant. Pulling him back to earth when he threatens to topple over the edge, never once wavering in your strength or patience even when you see the worst parts of him over and over.

He's sitting down by the time you stop playing, fingers gentle yet unyielding against the piano, coaxing a last, wavering echo from its depths before your hands rise, suspended in the air, then fall to your lap. When you look up, the fluorescent studio lights seem to burn your figure into his vision, like the afterimage of a lightning strike behind his eyes. "That was beautiful," he says, and he means it in more ways than one.

And you accept the praise in more ways than one, in the smile on your lips, in the twinkle in your eyes, in the moment where you sit down next to him, back against the wall, and let him lean his sweaty head on your shoulder with no complaint about how gross it must feel. "Thank you," you say, and when you do, the melody racing through his veins finally calms.

It's almost ten, now, the clock still ticking away on the wall. But you make no move to get up and neither does Taehyun, even when you murmur "Home?" in a voice that only makes him lean further into you, even when he makes a noise of agreement in the back of his throat. In the end, it takes nearly twenty minutes for you to finally pat his knee and say get up, Taehyun. And then he disappears to change and wash up and collect his things, and maybe in the shower he can feel himself beginning to fade away again, but then you're standing right outside the locker room and when he slips his hand into yours, he comes back to earth. Manège. Circling you, always. Leaving. Returning. Orbiting. Joining.

Music dancing through his blood and yours, a song that he will always be able to follow back home.

Reblogs and comments are deeply appreciated! Hope you enjoyed this, and have a lovely day :)

[blood-orange-juice]

I want to overanalyze everything Arle says and how others interact with her. 4.1 spoilers ahead

(meanwhile Fontaine is the nation of human trafficking, actual slums exist and the law doesn't really apply to the wealthy)

She's very good at being unsettling. Half of what she says is a double-bind, she states things and the opposite of them at the same time. It's not even lies, she just rules out any possibility of truth. A conversation strategy the only goal of which is to throw people off balance. This creates a feeling that she might stab you right now in broad daylight or maybe give you a poisoned piece of cake.

A truly lovely woman.

Also an interesting parallel:

(first meeting with Furina and Arle's farewell to us)

Similar words but we understand what she meant each time, right? She's good. One has to constantly guess with her. It's your fault if you guessed incorrectly.

Demanding too much before she voices her actual request. The classics of bargaining. Again, she's good.

Traveler: "he would not fucking say that"

Personally, I think she's bullshiting to check our reaction. One of the best ways of getting information out of someone is to say a thing that is obviously untrue.

As a side note: interesting how hoyo are keeping the story suitable for all headcanons. Haters and indifferent people "know" that he had no chance of learning what food the traveler likes (their character doesn't interact with the boy that much). Shippers can "know" that we share Childe's love for spicy seafood and honey roast, not cake. Shippers who like cake can assume that she reads his letters. I also don't think he knows anything about Arle's taste in desserts, he's too self-centered for that. Anyway, lovely.

Alternative: it's a metaphor. This is obviously not a tea party, it's a battlefield. Childe would totally say *that*. But that's too subtle for most players, I doubt hoyo would do it.

Everyone who had read Tartaglia's actual letters to home stifled a laugh there. Anyone who has *seen* our dear boy really. He doesn't write about what he contemplates or feels, only about actions. Here's a headache medicine for our dear father. Please tell Anton that people in Liyue don't eat stones, it would be ridiculous. I'll take the first boat home once I've finished making a bloodbath out of this lovely city.

(a reminder in case anyone forgot)

So. Bullshiting again. Is she trying to check how close we are? Or to demonstrate that she doesn't, in fact, read his letters (even if she does)? I'm not considering the option that she's actually clueless, she's the Fatui spymaster after all.

(if she's trying to learn from us how to mimic his style to get to his family it would mean she's clueless and it would be bad writing)

Also I know that a lot of people are shouting "have you forgotten about the Vision??? stupid traveler, you have a proof that he's alive" and honestly I'm surprised. Why would we want to share *any* information with her? The traveler was visibly upset when Paimon blurted what she blurted. Also, yeah, let's tell a totalitarian country military official that her colleague recently gave one of his favorite weapons to an enemy of the state. Surely it will go swimmingly. That was intentional.

And then her farewell and her thanking us for helping the twins. Her unhingedness is suddenly gone. She might not be genuine but there's no double bind at least. She starts to say things that could be true or untrue.

Also this:

Not even a guess that the Gnosis could be used to power the Oratrice? After the Akasha terminal plot it's a pretty obvious option to anyone, would she really miss something like that?

Is she trying to push us to do something? It's hard for me to believe that she genuinely doesn't understand. But also she shares that info about a curse. Meh. I don't understand what's happening here.

[welcometololaland]

Fic Rec Friday Round Up - Part 1

Thanks to everyone who participated! I have a list below of fics that people either tagged me in or tagged #fic rec friday. If I've missed anyone (or tagged anything incorrectly), please let me know.

Please read at your own discretion - heed tags and ratings on each individual fic. Keep yourself safe, friends!

911

Does Your Firehouse Know? by @littlespoonevan

911 Lone Star

"Are you serious?" by @irispurpurea

(Fl)oral Arrangements by Lolaland

a little unsteady by @taralaurel

all is near and can't be touched by Lolaland

All's fair by @goodways

Chrysanthemum Morifolium by thegoodthebadandthenerdy

Clear Eyes, Full Hearts, Can't Lose by @bluenet13

Detective Reyes and the Valentine's Day Mystery by @sugdenlovesdingle

Dreamy Officer Reyes and his nincompoop sidekick by @chaotictarlos

enchanted (to meet you) by @kiras-sunshine

Glitter in the sky, glitter in my eyes by @tailoredshirt

Grilled Cheese by @chicgeekgirl89

hands are unbearably beautiful (they hold onto things. they let things go) by @kitchensunflowers

Heartbreak High by Lolaland

high on you by @ravens-words

how else can we survive by BettyBoom

I Won't Say I'm in Love by @chicgeekgirl89

In a Bind by SuburbanSun

In Your Adorable Glasses by @carlos-in-glasses

In sickness and in health, in speeding and in no speeding by @goodways

lead me somewhere i've never been @terramous

Look at Where We Are by @chicgeekgirl89

Lost and Found by @detective-giggles

Love Game by Lolaland

Lunch with Lou by @doublel27

Magnetic North by @paperstorm

My Hand in Yours by @noxsoulmate

now we're there (and we've only just begun) by @doublel27

take it, it's yours by @marjansmarwani

Target Audience by Lolaland

Ten thirty-two in progress by @goodways

The Great Sock War by tvrloser

The Marriage Tamales by @bellakitse

The Ride Along by @goodways

The Ring-In by ifyoustay and LolaLand

The Sting by @goodways

the whole world is sleeping (but my whole world is you) by @strandnreyes

twelve years by goldentarlos

View from the Top by @bellakitse

you are always on my mind by falloutmars

You Keep Coming Back With A Bird In Your Teeth by vaguenotion

Good Omens

muddle through somehow by curtaincall

Loki

Self-insert by mirilyawrites

Merlin

The Great Merlin Bake Off by Elizabeth

Red White and Royal Blue

and history remembered by @sherryvalli

confess my truth (in swooping sloping cursive) by viciouslyqueer

Five letter word for 'unobservant' by @clottedcreamfudge

How was it? by @clottedcreamfudge

Never Did Run Smooth by @clottedcreamfudge

safe with me by @indomitable-love

Stop, caffeinate, and listen by @clottedcreamfudge

Three times is a pattern by @clottedcreamfudge

well we're not here to fuck ducks by @stutteringpeach

[i-did-not-mean-to]

S&D Drabbles

Let's start with the actual drabbles.

(Yes, there will be 4 posts...I am endlessly sorry...)

For @sortumavaara

🐙 Fire Touch - Smith - G

🐙 Beloved companion - Seasponge - T

🐙 Tag, you're it - Anairë & Nerdanel - T

･˳ . ⋆ .˳⁺⁎˚ ⋆･˳ . ⋆ .˳⁺⁎˚ ⋆･˳ . ⋆ .˳⁺⁎˚ ⋆

For @maglor-my-beloved

🐙 Hush now, don't say a word... - Fëanor/Nerdanel/Rúmil - T

🐙 Her feet never touch the ground... - Celegorm/Lúthien - T

🐙 A good time - Gil-Galad - M

･˳ . ⋆ .˳⁺⁎˚ ⋆･˳ . ⋆ .˳⁺⁎˚ ⋆･˳ . ⋆ .˳⁺⁎˚ ⋆

For Lferion

🐙 Stubborn light, immortal hope - Nerdanel & sons - G

🐙 A new star on the horizon - Finarfin & Indis - G

･˳ . ⋆ .˳⁺⁎˚ ⋆･˳ . ⋆ .˳⁺⁎˚ ⋆･˳ . ⋆ .˳⁺⁎˚ ⋆

For @goschatewabn

🐙The best boy - Celegorm & Huan - G

🐙 A stable relationship - Rochallor & Asfaloth - G

🐙 Spill the tea... - Fëanor & Indis - G

･˳ . ⋆ .˳⁺⁎˚ ⋆･˳ . ⋆ .˳⁺⁎˚ ⋆･˳ . ⋆ .˳⁺⁎˚ ⋆

For @kayleearafinwiel

🐙Uin's Delivery Service - Uin - G

･˳ . ⋆ .˳⁺⁎˚ ⋆･˳ . ⋆ .˳⁺⁎˚ ⋆･˳ . ⋆ .˳⁺⁎˚ ⋆

For @scyllas-revenge

🐙 Fly you fools - Éomer & winged horses - G

･˳ . ⋆ .˳⁺⁎˚ ⋆･˳ . ⋆ .˳⁺⁎˚ ⋆･˳ . ⋆ .˳⁺⁎˚ ⋆

For @welcomingdisaster

🐙 Motherhood - Indis/Míriel -G

･˳ . ⋆ .˳⁺⁎˚ ⋆･˳ . ⋆ .˳⁺⁎˚ ⋆･˳ . ⋆ .˳⁺⁎˚ ⋆

For @thedaughterofshadows

🐙 B-Art - Aulë & Mahtan - G

🐙 I know you... - Irmo & Námo - G

🐙 Would you be proud? - Maeglin & Rog - G

･˳ . ⋆ .˳⁺⁎˚ ⋆･˳ . ⋆ .˳⁺⁎˚ ⋆･˳ . ⋆ .˳⁺⁎˚ ⋆

For @mulasawala

🐙 Very small heroes - Bagginshield - G

🐙 Shared Warmth - Bagginshield - G

･˳ . ⋆ .˳⁺⁎˚ ⋆･˳ . ⋆ .˳⁺⁎˚ ⋆･˳ . ⋆ .˳⁺⁎˚ ⋆

For @maglorslostsilmaril

🐙 The things we do for love... - Erestor & Children of Elrond - G

🐙 Sanctuary - Tar-Ancalimê - G

･˳ . ⋆ .˳⁺⁎˚ ⋆･˳ . ⋆ .˳⁺⁎˚ ⋆･˳ . ⋆ .˳⁺⁎˚ ⋆

For @mirkwood-hr-department

🐙 A brief glimpse - Fox - G

･˳ . ⋆ .˳⁺⁎˚ ⋆･˳ . ⋆ .˳⁺⁎˚ ⋆･˳ . ⋆ .˳⁺⁎˚ ⋆

For Anne Wolfe

🐙 Sunset - Gildor - G

🐙 I've got your nose - Amrod & Amras - G

･˳ . ⋆ .˳⁺⁎˚ ⋆･˳ . ⋆ .˳⁺⁎˚ ⋆･˳ . ⋆ .˳⁺⁎˚ ⋆

For @searchingforserendipity25

🐙 Regrets - Daeron/Lúthien - G

･˳ . ⋆ .˳⁺⁎˚ ⋆･˳ . ⋆ .˳⁺⁎˚ ⋆･˳ . ⋆ .˳⁺⁎˚ ⋆

For @elanna-elrondiel

🐙 In vino veritas? - Huan & Celegorm & Aredhel - G

🐙 Let me go - Aredhel/Eöl - T

･˳ . ⋆ .˳⁺⁎˚ ⋆･˳ . ⋆ .˳⁺⁎˚ ⋆･˳ . ⋆ .˳⁺⁎˚ ⋆

For @ridiculoussquid

🐙 Leap of faith - Ori - G

･˳ . ⋆ .˳⁺⁎˚ ⋆･˳ . ⋆ .˳⁺⁎˚ ⋆･˳ . ⋆ .˳⁺⁎˚ ⋆

For @cclumsyart

🐙 Forget me not - Melkor & Nienna - T

･˳ . ⋆ .˳⁺⁎˚ ⋆･˳ . ⋆ .˳⁺⁎˚ ⋆･˳ . ⋆ .˳⁺⁎˚ ⋆

For @ruiniel

🐙 Forget... - Glaurung & Niennor - M

🐙 Freedames - Míriel/Indis - T

･˳ . ⋆ .˳⁺⁎˚ ⋆･˳ . ⋆ .˳⁺⁎˚ ⋆･˳ . ⋆ .˳⁺⁎˚ ⋆

For @solmarillion

🐙 If I could hold you one more time - Daeron/Maglor - T

🐙 Wet - Silvergifting - M

･˳ . ⋆ .˳⁺⁎˚ ⋆･˳ . ⋆ .˳⁺⁎˚ ⋆･˳ . ⋆ .˳⁺⁎˚ ⋆

For @niasfanspace

🐙 The world wide web - Ungoliant - T

･˳ . ⋆ .˳⁺⁎˚ ⋆･˳ . ⋆ .˳⁺⁎˚ ⋆･˳ . ⋆ .˳⁺⁎˚ ⋆

For @the-red-butterfly

🐙 My last breath is for you - Oropher & Thranduil - T

･˳ . ⋆ .˳⁺⁎˚ ⋆･˳ . ⋆ .˳⁺⁎˚ ⋆･˳ . ⋆ .˳⁺⁎˚ ⋆

For @the-girl-with-the-algebra-book

🐙The Fallen Maia - Balrog - M

･˳ . ⋆ .˳⁺⁎˚ ⋆･˳ . ⋆ .˳⁺⁎˚ ⋆･˳ . ⋆ .˳⁺⁎˚ ⋆

For Ibissal

🐙 Harvest Moon - Celebrimbor/Narvi- M

Please keep in mind that I might have tagged the rating completely incorrectly. Heed the tags on every fic

@fall-for-tolkien

[waterfallofspace]

53 and 55 for d/azai and ch/uuya (the sick one 👁👁) perhaps please if you would like… <3

Thank you so much for the ask/request!! These have been so fun hahaha~~ I did get just a touch angsty/fever heavy towards the end, so hopefully that's alright, I promise it's not super serious! I also did want to include a little french, and while I did take it in school, I remember less than nothing, soooo this is all thanks to google, therefore I apologize for anything inconsistent/incorrect! [ Putain de merde = Holy shit ] [ À tes souhaits = Bless you ] [ Merde = Shit ] [ Je dois = I've got to ] 2.1k words, prompts 53 and 55, story under the cut! ~Part Two/Continuation Post Here~ 53. "Bless you?" 55. "You sound awful." (References to mild violence, high fevers, and swearing just in case anyone doesn't like any of those!)

~~~~~~~

Dazai is nothing if not observant. There is hardly a single detail in any given encounter he hasn’t seen, or predicted. Which is why he finds it almost insulting that people always insist on ‘hiding things’ from him. Especially his former partner. 

‘Chuuya still seems to believe, incorrectly and against all odds, that I won’t notice if somethings wrong. Something such as the cough he was suppressing that was shaking his frail little form. Or the pink tint around his nose. The nose he couldn’t stop touching throughout our encounter.’

This is how Dazai came to be leaning against a wall outside a pharmacy. And if it just so happens to be the pharmacy a certain hat-adorned Mafioso frequents, wouldn’t that be a strange coincidence. ‘Any minute now, don’t keep me waiting- Ah. Here we go~.’

Chuuya steps out of the store, a gloved hand pinching his rapidly trembling nose. ‘He must have been trying not to sneeze the whole time he was in the store. Aw~! That’s just adorable. It’s practically famous within the Port Mafia that our dear Chibi can’t hold back to save his little, tiny, life. Well, time to announce myself!’ Dazai smirks, pushing off the wall and stepping into Chuuya’s line of sight. 

“Chuuuuuya~! What a surprise, running into you here!”

“heH’EK- fuck!”

“Uh, bless you?”

“Damn it you idiot, you scared it away.” 

Dazai lets his mouth twitch, a smile threatening to break through at the look of annoyance on Chuuya’s face, nose practically twitching with unreleased tickles. He snapped his hand away from his face the second he saw Dazai, but they both know he’s just itching to bring it back up, pun intended. ‘Oh this will be even more fun then I’d foreseen.’

“S- scared away the sneeze..? Is even Chuuya’s nose easily startled?”

“Eh?! I- You- oh whatever. What the fuck ar- hahEHhh… hePT-!huhh… Damn it- What are you doing here, Dazai?”

It’s practically a growl, and Dazai doesn’t miss the way Chuuya’s hand twitches as he presses it firmly into a fist against his side. ‘You wanna rub so badly, don’t you? I wonder how long you’ll be able to hold out. Judging by that glaze coating your eyes, I’d say not long, but hey, I out of anyone know how stubborn you can be. Shall we test your resolve, Chuuya~?’ 

“I was just passing through this part of town, and happened to notice the sky starting to look a tad cloudy, so I figured I’d duck under a nice dry roof! Just so happens to be of a pharmacy- say, what is Chuuya doing in a pharmacy anyways?”

“Nothing.”

“Wow, you bought a bag just for nothing? Seems a bit of a waste.”

Chuuya’s eyes roll, teeth clenching as he snarls, both of them knowing that any other time, he would have aimed a punch at Dazai for that. 'And we both know why you didn't. Little preoccupied there, Chuuya?' Dazai studies him carefully, noticing the way his mouth is starting to twitch right along with his nose, the itch seemingly spreading across his whole face.

“I bought some pain medication, alright? I get hurt a lot in this job, and I was running low.” 

“Doesn’t the Port Mafia supply the good stuff? Why settle for cheap store bought?”

“I- I jus- Why do you even care! Doesn’t the ‘great Dazai’ have better things to do?”

“Awe~ You think I’m great? Chuuya~ you flatter me!” 

Chuuya opens his mouth to retort, but what falls out instead of a cough that he quickly attempts to suppress, ducking into his hand and spinning on his heel, away from Dazai. ‘It’s a futile effort, I can still clearly see your body shaking. I think you know that.’

“Oh Chuuya, are you not feeling well?”

“Sh- huHh-! Really? Of all the times to come bahhHh- back… hePT’NNSHH’oo-! hAh’IZZSHHAA-! heHh… AhHH-! ahH’YZZSHH’iuh-!”

“Bless you.”

“Shut up, bandage factory. J- just leave me alone, I have things to do.” 

Dazai notices the roughness of Chuuya’s voice as he lowers it, adding a growl in an attempt to make it seem intentional. ‘You must be feeling worse than I thought, a couple sneezes and a cough shouldn’t be enough to wreck your throat. Unless, of course, you’ve been doing it non-stop for days.’

“Well my schedule is completely clear, so I think I’ll just hang out with Chuuya for awhile! Where are we going next?”

“There is absolutely not a ‘we’. I am going back to my apartment. Alone.”

“Aw- come on, don’t be like that!”

“Ge- hehHh… get lost… hH’KZZZSHH’iuh-! Fucking… Ehh’knGSHH’aa-!” 

“Double blessings for the double sneeze! Keep up the doubles and you’ll start sounding like me.”

“A fate worse than death, truly.”

Dazai clutches his chest, an arm draping across his face in mock hurt, making sure to keep one eye trained on the shorter man. ‘He’s practically trembling. It’s chilly out, but not enough for that reaction, especially not for someone like him. It’s most likely a fever, but it could just be exhaustion. I’ll need an excuse to get in close to check.’

“You wound me!”

“I’d certainly like to. hah’gNNShh’aa-! hh’ETZZSHH’iuh-!”

“Quite a threat, if only you could back it up. Alas, I fear this illness has reduced you to the level of a mere goon. Certainly not an executive in the elite Port Mafia.” 

The words work exactly how he’d planned, a closed fist hitting Dazai squarely in the chest as the shorter man lunges at him, giving Dazai every opportunity to let his hand brush against Chuuya’s forehead. ‘He’s burning up. With the clouds gathering faster than I’d foreseen, I’d better get him off the street and fast, otherwise we’re looking at an outcome I’d rather avoid.’ A grunt breaks free from Dazai’s throat as Chuuya finishes the attack with a kick right to his gut. 

“That feel like a sick man’s blow? Didn’t think so. D- damn it… hAhhHh-!” 

Dazai pauses, leaning back against the wall to watch the show unfold. Chuuya has a gloved hand gripping his nose once more, eyes starting to gloss over as they lose focus. His hand is trembling, eyes starting to water. ‘Tsk tsk. We both know you can’t hold this back, are you really going to break your nose in an attempt to? Sorry, I just can’t have that.’ 

“Even Akutagawa can punch harder than that, Chuuya.” 

“Eh?!” 

Chuuya’s eyes snap to him, his hand wavers, and just like that, Dazai knows he’s won. The loss in focus, even for a second, is enough to give Chuuya’s nose the upper hand, its twitching visible from between the cracks in his fingers. ‘Checkmate.’ 

“ih’KNXT’chh-!”

Dazai bites back a wince at the way the stifle seems to scrape at Chuuya’s throat, a hiss escaping through his clenched teeth as his breath catches once more. ‘Bad idea, Chuuya. You know that’s just gonna make you-’ 

“eH’KnGT’chhh-! inGT’chh-! GNT’chh-! heHh… dTnxxgt’chhh-! hH’KNgT’choo-! hEH’INGSHH’AA-!”

‘And there it is.’

“You gon-”

“AAISHHH’OO-! ATSHH’AA-! hH’INGSHH’AA-! heh’ASSHH’iuh-!”

“-gonna live, Chuuya?”

“hNGGSHH’OO-! Shut- nnMMGSHHH’AA-! Shut up- hH’INMSHHH’IUH-! S- slug… heAhh-!”

A deep chest soaked cough starts pouring out between the sneezes, rattling Chuuya to his bones, and sending chills down Dazai’s back. He nearly flinches as Chuuya falls against the wall, using it to study him as the wet coughs shake through his lungs. He manages to catch his breath, tears freely flowing down his cheeks, just to have it sucked out of him again as another round of sneezing starts up.

“hEH’NNGSHH’AA-! eh’KETSCHhh’iuh-! heP’TZZSHH’aa-! Putain de merde!”

“Doing french, are we? Well then, À tes souhaits, Chibi.” 

“Whatev-”

The hoarse quality of Chuuya’s voice, barely above a whisper causes them both to pause, a wince escaping across Dazai’s features before he can mask it. Chuuya’s eyes widen, the panic in them seeming to seep into Dazai’s very soul. They stand for a minute, eyes locked, before Chuuya straightens his into a glare once more.

“You sound awful.”

“Thanks.”

“I’m just saying. You should really have taken some medicine for that.”

“That.. was the plan.. before you.. interrupted me..” 

Dazai can’t help but grimace at the harsh whisper, Chuuya attempting to lower his voice to a growl to make it sound intentional, but they both know no one’s buying it. ‘I really need to get him home and get him to take some medication. If he gets caught in the rain like this, it’ll be bad.’

Making sure to catch Chuuya’s eye, Dazai lets his hand slip into his pocket, pulling a dose of medication out, the kind you won’t find at any pharmacy. He smirks at the flash of desire that Chuuya doesn’t manage to hide.

“Whoops, guess that one’s my bad. In that case, this will just have to go to waste, I suppose. Since you have your own, and I was so rudely uninvited to your apartment.” 

“You.. can’t be uninvited.. to something you.. weren’t invited to.. in the first place.. hH’RSHH’AA-! oww…” 

They both flinch at the sneeze, Dazai letting his concentration slip for just a second. However, a second is all Chuuya needs, planting a roundhouse kick on Dazai’s arm as he snatches the vial, taking a swig before sticking it in his own pocket. Dazai raises an eyebrow at this, cheshire smile painted across his face, but a hint of something much more genuine in his eyes.

“What aggression Chuuya! You should really try some anger management classes to get that rage under control.” 

“I didn’t have.. anger issues.. until I had the misfortune.. of meeting you..” 

“Oh yes~. You were just a ray of sunshine when I first met you! Definitely no thinly repressed rage bubbling just below the surface that boiled over every time anything happened.”

“Oi.. are you trying.. to get punched again.. jackass..? eH’KtSHH’iuh-! Christ.. hASHHH’AA-!”

“Save your energy, you’ll need it. And besides, I’ve taken quite enough of a beating today.” 

Chuuya doesn’t respond, ‘Electing to save your voice too, are you? Smart, given how quickly it’s fading’ but he does give Dazai a nasty look, raising his hand to scrub at his nose once more. Dazai feels a swell of concern in his chest at how unashamed his former partner has grown about his rapidly increasing symptoms. ‘The medicine should kick in within the hour… but I doubt you’ll make it home on your own before then.’ 

“huh’KKSHH’AA-! hEIYYSHHH’iuh-! nNGT’chh-! eh’INGT’chhh-! M- merde… Je d- dois… ehH’hEZZSHH’aihh-!”

A hand is casually raised as Chuuya attempts to cover, aiming for his shoulder with a hazy look that isn’t like him. ‘Damn it, I was hoping to avoid this outcome-’ Dazai manages to think, getting cut off, just as he foresaw, as Chuuya collapses into himself. A strong grasp catches the smaller man, Dazai letting out a huff at the weight suddenly in his arms. 

“Easy there, still with me?”

A weak nod is his response, the glassy nature of Chuuya’s eyes suggesting the fever has grown worse. Touching his forehead, Dazai winces again at the heat, ‘Definitely gotten worse. The game is over, I’m taking you home now.’ Without a word, he lifts Chuuya into his arms, not missing the grunt he gets in response.

“You can fight me, and risk falling on your face, or you can just let me help you.”

Chuuya growls, but lets his eyes flutter shut, ducking away from Dazai and into his shoulder as another set of exhausted sneezes tears out of him. 

“heh’nNKjschh’uhh-! ah’mmKNschh’uhh-! hehHhh-! hEH’IZZSHH’iuhh-! Guhh..”

“Bless you. Can you stand, or shall I carry you?”

Dazai easily dodges the fist aimed his way, but doesn’t miss the way Chuuya shakes at the force of his own weight. Without a word, he moves Chuuya’s arm back over his shoulders, letting the man lean against him. There’s a certain level of unease when someone’s relying on you to walk, and yet, with the two of them, this is an all-too-familiar sensation.

“Let’s get you home, partner. The medication will kick in soon.”

“Not.. your partn-”

“Save your voice, it’s physically painful for me to listen to you. I can feel my own throat starting to ache.”

A dirty look is shot his way before Chuuya’s eyes flutter shut once more, not even bothering to turn his head away, instead aiming the sneezes towards the ground in front of them. Dazai grimaces, not from the possibility of germs, instead, entirely from the concern that washes through him at the lack of shame.

“heH’DTZSHH’AA-! AIISHH’oo-! ehh’gnSHHH’iuh-!”

“Bless you.”

“Save.. your breath.. stupid Dazai..”

“Hey, at least you still have that temper! I’d be really worried if that was gone.” 

“Just.. take me home..”

Dazai lets a smile wash over his face, a warmth replacing the panic in his chest as Chuuya leans into his touch as they start the journey. ‘I’ll keep you safe, partner. Leave it to me.’

Without a word spoken between them, he knows he was heard and understood, just as he understands the response. 

‘I trust you.’

[waxedpaperdoor]

I worked every day last week and every day this week with two to go (love you, NHS, wish you loved me back), so I'm revenge-procrastinating my bedtime by indulging in some fic recs. This is not an exhaustive list and features my many and varied favourites so mind the tags for content, ships etc. If I have tagged someone incorrectly or not added their tumblr tag, please let me know :)

all three parts of Léon de mi Corazón by @clockheartedcrocodile

and up jumped the devil by the same author

upon this rock by dancinbutterfly

love, I think the body is a miracle by norgbelulah

I've got my mind set on you by reckonedrightly

Martyrs of the Great Plains by nookienostradamus

also on a dark night by the same author

Where True Love Burns, Desire by susiecarter

through a glass, darkly by @cinelitchick

A Mind To Know You and Worship by Adoxography

a garden enclosed by wordslinging

A Measure of Grace by hkafterdark

Oak-knower, Out of the Frying Pan, Buckle Knuckle Kneel and Put On A Funny Hat and Let's Do This Thing by toffeecape

My secrets are all that I own by Dorinda

both parts of where you go I will go, and where you stay I will stay by ggggnashville

not even to dream, arms to pray with, and his banner over me was love, ego te absolvo and all the while my breath is in me by peacefrog (who I think is on tumblr as @lizardkingeliot)

When The Holy Spirit Breathes by FrancesHouseman

the sacred and profane by luciferinasundaysuit

beatification by theonlytwin

Ex Luce Ad Tenebras by CypressSunn

There's Nothing Here But Light by the sunsaid

A Cord of Three Strands by hotmessmaxpress

We Could be Normal by bazemayonnaise

The Smoke of Their Torment by x_etoile_x

Let God Consume by starportals

a prayer for which no words exist by agent__carter

[crow-stars]

❝CHOCOLATE KISSES, VALENTINE'S WISHES❞

❦summary; as the day of st. valentine approaches near, one can wonder how the students of nrc plan to celebrate

♪the characters in this story; ace trappola, deuce spade, jack howl, epel felmier, sebek zigvolt, gn!reader

✎word count; ~2,627

❀what do the ghosts say?; romantic relationships, bullet point format, giving of chocolates and other sweets, blushing/flustered students

☛the author's notes; just so everyone knows ahead of time, all students will be given headcanons based on their year, except ortho. also, throughout this whole thing, tell me if you think i've characterized any characters incorrectly or what i could do better so i can make any future works of mine better. without further ado, please enjoy! (ﾉ´ヮ`)ﾉ*: ･ﾟ

☪look at the catalogue?

❝ACE TRAPPOLA❞

♡ Ace Trappola, the one who has probably received a couple valentine cards in his school life

♡ But does he actually like the holiday that much? Well, yes and no. 

♡ Yes, because free candy and lots of attention on him and no, because he has to sort through that same candy and cards

♡ Besides that, he gets kind of excited to see what’ll happen on the day, even if he acts aloof about it

♡ Would Ace be someone who gives out candies and cards? Ha, no. He’s the receiver, not the giver. 

♡ Maybe if it’s a close friend of his (like you perhaps?), he’ll get them a lollipop and a cheesy card from the store. Or perhaps just giving some to a teacher he really likes

♡ But besides that, nobody is getting anything. Not even Riddle is getting anything. 

♡ Deuce? A strong maybe. He’ll have to spin a wheel. Jack? Thinks that the Savanaclaw won’t eat those candies. Epel? Epel’s probably forbidden from eating anything he gets so Ace won’t bother. Sebek? He’d get a candy or a card that’ll annoy Sebek. 

♡ But if Ace gets a card from someone he particularly cares about? Well, that’s another story.

♡ If it’s a crush, or say a developing crush, he’s going to get real flustered. 

♡ Also, depending on if the words on the card are super sweet or praising him, he’ll get real haughty or get super flustered. 

♡ If it’s praising him and his looks, Ace’s response would be something like: 

“You’re practically confessing your love for me in this card aren’t you? Might as well just admit it already, eh?” 

♡ But if the words are super sweet... It’d be more like this:

“Y-Your card.. What, did I like it? Yeah I did, I guess... It’s stupidly sweet though, how could you stand writing this?! No, I’m not blushing!” 

♡ Either way, he’d keep the card under his pillow and read it whenever he’s down ♡ ～('▽^人)

♡ Let’s switch the scenario, say you’re his partner now. 

♡ In comparison to if you were his friend or crush, I’d say Ace would actually try to get you something. 

♡ Granted, it won’t be something spectacular, like a room full of roses, cough Rook cough cough but he would get you like a pack of chocolate/candies and a flower or two. 

♡ Kisses count as gifts right? If you consider it a gift, be prepared for lots of smooching

♡ He’d also probably want to spend the day watching cheesy romance movies with you. 

♡ I like to think that Ace is an avid romance movie watcher, so he has a big collection of them, either super cheesy, super sad, super fluffy, you name it, he has a movie fitting that genre. 

♡ Don’t ask him about it though, he’ll get all pissy

♡ Also cuddles! It’s valentine’s day, he wants to be constantly showered in your love and affection, so give it to him! 

♡ Riddle would find you two in the lounge, legs tangled up with each other and the blankets and junk food everywhere. Would he yell at the both of you? Yes. Does Ace regret it? No. <3

❝DEUCE SPADE❞

♡ Deuce has probably only gotten valentine’s cards through those class things where everyone brings a store-bought card and just passes them out

♡ He probably still likes the holiday for a multitude of reasons

♡ Deuce will always get something for his mom, that’s for sure, and any teachers he particularly likes. 

♡ He’ll also definitely get some meaningful ones for any close friends of his

♡ Most definitely someone who gives a lot on valentine’s

♡ Like, he’ll probably buy some store bought cards and chocolates

♡ He’s someone who probably thinks through what he gives to people 

♡ Deuce probably would love to get Peeps or those little chocolate eggs. I just think he likes shaped candies and chocolates

♡ If Deuce gets a card, say from any of his friends, he’d be very surprised, but also super thankful about it

♡ If he gets one from you, it’s something that would make his heart pound in his chest and his ears tip with red. (very firm on Deuce ear blusher eheh)

♡ He’s gonna get real stuttery and blushy. Deuce will still thank you and then quickly vacate the area so you don’t see him implode on himself. 

♡ Like, Ace, depending on what words you’ve written, he’ll be beaming brightly or fumbling for words. Still with that blush of his

♡ If it’s words of praise and encouragement, Deuce will be thanking you and wanting to hug you. 

“Your letter is so nice, thank you! My face? U-Uh, it’s nothing, nothing!” 

♡ If the words are very sticky sweet and bathed in words of love, Deuce will literally implode. 

“Th-This card— it-it’s! No, no! I’m okay, it’s okay! I swear! Well, it’s not okay, it’s great! Am-mazing actually, I— Ju-Just don’t look at me right now...”

♡ No, seriously. Pretty sure he’s never been with anyone before or been into a more romantic/intimate relationship, so anything of that sort is going to have the poor boy short circuiting. 

♡ Now, time to view this through the lens of being his partner. 

♡ First things first, Deuce is going to ask his mom for some advice. He wants to make sure you have an amazing valentine’s with him, he’s determined to make it a happy memory. 

♡ Get ready for flowers, chocolates, cute dates, heart-shaped candies, anything that he can get his hands on, Deuce will probably try to get you. 

♡ Ace is going to tease the both of you though, that just comes with the whole package of the two being close friends. 

♡ He’d probably end the day by walking you back to your abode and kissing you goodbye. 

♡ Deuce is a true gentleman when it comes to you <3

❝JACK HOWL❞

♡ Jack is probably very neutral on the holiday, I’ll be honest

♡ He sees it more as a celebration of all types of love and doesn’t see why romance is the more favored one

♡ Despite this, Jack is someone who’s a giver and a receiver on valentine’s

♡ He mostly gets stuff from his family and friends, maybe he had a romantic letter given to him once or twice. Jack also makes sure that he has something for everyone important in his life. 

♡ Like, if a friend likes stuffed animals and he sees one of those mini squishmallows at the store, he’ll buy it for them and give it on valentine’s. All the gifts he gets people are customized to them

♡ For the most part, he’s only just hanging out with his friends, calling his family at home, just making sure that everyone’s getting the same amount of attention. 

♡ When getting a card from you, Jack is probably going to be one the more less expressive side. 

♡ Don’t get him wrong, he loves your card! That tail doesn’t lie, but the most he’ll do is grin about it. 

♡ But don’t let Jack’s external expression fool you, he’s keeping that card close and every time he reads it, he can’t help but feel his skin get warm and his heart flutter. 

♡ If the words are complimenting him and his actions towards you, Jack would be very grateful and sweep you into a hug (but only in private)

“Did I like my card? Yeah, I really liked it, you’re good with your words y’know. By the way, here’s your gift, enjoy, okay?” 

♡ If your words are more romantic in nature, Jack’s reaction would be pretty much the same, with the only difference being that his tail would be wagging~

“Hm? M-My tail? No, it’s not wagging, you’re just imagining it...”

♡ Either way, Jack will be very thankful for anything you give him 

♡ Now for partner headcanons!

♡ As before, Jack will still get you a gift like he does with everyone else, but with a bit more of a romantic flair

♡ Like, for example, you like plushies. Jack will get you a big, fluffy wolf stuffie that looks oddly similar to him...

♡ It even has a collar around it! On the collar, there’ll be a card attached to it with the sweetest words he can muster

♡ Don’t ask how much it was, Jack won’t tell you. But he’s been saving for a while

♡ Definitely would take you out to get a treat. Any treat you want, doesn’t matter. 

♡ He’s probably also going to want to cuddle with you. If you ask nicely, he’ll even use his UM so that you can cuddle his wolf form. 

♡ Then again, he’d do it if you just ask. 

♡ Jack would also just give you lots of kisses throughout the day. Like, you could be laying on the floor and he’d just go and kiss you

♡ In short, Jack will shower you with as much affection as he can give you on valentine’s <3

❝EPEL FELMIER❞

♡ Epel, Epel, Epel. He’s probably experienced the holiday, but more so through his grandparents and anything he’s seen in passing

♡ Does he like the holiday? Well, more like he just doesn’t care for the holiday and Epel doesn’t really see a point to it all.

♡ If he gets a card, then that’s cool. But he won’t really be giving any out to people

♡ He’ll get something for his family, like a stereotypical box of chocolates or, if he’s feeling in the mood, he’ll make a card

♡ But besides that, nobody is getting anything 

♡ Actually, I feel like Epel’s the type to just throw cards away. Not out of malice or anything, but mostly because he’d just prefer words over cards just like my teacher... won’t even take gift cards...

♡ Yeah, I think that fits out boy quite well

♡ Anyway, for valentine’s at NRC, Epel would be getting everyone tiny boxes of chocolates and that’s it. You’d probably get one too, though it’d depend if Epel sees you as a friend or as a crush

♡ When giving Epel a card, he’ll read it and throw it away later, but at least he’ll tell you that he throws it away.

♡ But I think his reactions to your words will be very satisfactory 

♡ If the card is just praising him and generally just a typical valentine’s card, Epel would be very happy about it and then give you that store bought box of chocolates. 

“Aw, this card’s very nice. Reminds me of the cards Gran would get me sometimes! I’mma throw this out later.”

♡ If it’s more romantic, Epel is going to get a bit of a blush across his cheeks and nose. Maybe a bit more flustered too, if you know your way around words ♡ (´ᵔᴗᵔ ` )

“W-Why is this card so fl-flowery?! No, ‘m nah mad about it! ‘S just— dang it, shut up! Don’t smile at me like that!”

♡ Make him blush, I’m sure it’ll be worth it ;)

♡ Moving on— 

♡ If it’s a card that Epel really likes, he’d probably keep it around for a good while before throwing it out 

♡ But valentine’s would be totally different if you’re his partner

♡ I’ll begin by saying that Epel will try harder than usual. 

♡ He’ll get advice from Vil and Rook (begrudgingly) and do his best to do a surprise for you

♡ Epel would actually keep the secret of it real well from you, he’s a bit sneaky like that 

♡ Buuuut the day before valentine’s, Rook will totally spill the beans somehow and Epel is ready to strangle his vice housewarden with his own bowstring oh that’s a funny image haha

♡ Anyway, he’ll still go through the whole thing he’s planned. 

♡ I think that making you a carved apple is somewhere in that plan. I think it’d be very intricate, more than what he usually makes

♡ Epel’s gonna work very hard make sure he lives up to all the expectations, he thinks, you have for him as a boyfriend

♡ There will be flower bouquets, a box of chocolates bigger than the ones he gets for everyone else, maybe even a stuffie or two if that’s what you like

♡ He’ll even end the day with a romantic kiss, all for you <3

❝SEBEK ZIGVOLT❞

♡ There’s a good chance that valentine’s would be different for fae. Do you think they’d even celebrate it? Or maybe they do, just with different traditions? 

♡ Just because, I’ll just say that fae don’t typically celebrate valentine’s but some do, so it isn’t totally abnormal. 

♡ When it was explained to him, Sebek probably got a bit confused along the way, so he doesn’t have a full understanding of the holiday

♡ Okay onto the headcanons—

♡ Since Sebek is half fae and half human, his dad most likely celebrated valentine’s with his mom

♡ All he knows is that humans celebrate it with their partners to express their love for one another. 

♡ I’m pretty sure he’s never experienced that classroom valentine’s stuff before where everyone hands out cards and candy, so the thought of giving card to people who aren’t spouses or partners is beyond him

♡ So if Sebek gets a card from a friend, he’s going to be pretty baffled. He’ll be thankful about it! Don’t get him wrong, but he’ll still be pretty confused

♡ If he learns that he’s allowed to do this for people that aren’t spouses or romantic partners, hooo boy

♡ Malleus is getting a card, that’s for sure and it’s gonna be goddamn beautiful. Lilia is also getting a card, will be very pretty. Silver will probably be getting one too, but it will be on the plainer side. Whole Diasomnia crew is getting cards, end of story

♡ I think that Sebek would also give the first years something on the smaller side, maybe just some heart lollipops he bought from Sam’s along with something written

♡ Now, if he gets a card from you, he’s going to make his appreciation known. 

♡ If the words are just being appreciative of him and him hanging out with you, Sebek will probably note to get you something in the future

“Thank you for your card! Your use of words makes me very happy and I hope to continue our friendship in the future!”

♡ If the card is more romantic in nature, Sebek will still be very appreciative, though his words will be a bit softer. Maybe you’ll be able to catch the fact that the tips of his ears are a bit redder than usual

“You use language r-really well... ST-STUTTER?! I am one of the Great Malleus’ knights! I-I do not stutter! Silence your laughter!”

♡ I think that Sebek would get a bit more on the sappy side when it’s valentine’s day. Not like very goopy sappy, but he’s just going to be softer than usual. 

♡ It won’t be obvious, but if you look back on how he acts, there’ll be a difference

♡ Now onto my favorite part ☆ ～('▽^人) the romantic stuff!

♡ To begin with, Sebek is going to Lilia and Malleus for advice at least a month or two, maybe even three depending on how deeply he cares, in advance. 

♡ Prepare for loud declarations of his love at the start of the day to wake you (and anyone else in the vicinity) up

♡ He’ll make it up by giving you a bouquet of your favorite flowers and it’s going to be a big bouquet too!

♡ Definitely will be getting you a teddy bear too, the type you see with those little heart paws and a red ribbon around their neck. 

♡ Sebek would also take you on a date in Sage’s Island to a cafe or a nice shop

♡ He would probably hold your hand the majority of the time. I’d like to think that Sebek’s a physical touch kind of guy, so there’s a hand on you at all times 

♡ Also think that Sebek prefers to spend quiet time with his partner rather than loud places. The cafe date is an exception though

♡ So, the day will definitely end with the two of you together outside as the sun sets <3

[annawrites444]

⊹˚. ♡ hi hi! i’m Dove and i was wondering if i could have a romantic matchup for JJK please? (a full bouquet would be preferred and an 18+ character please)

i’m not entirely sure what my gender or sexuality is :,> (all i know is that i have a preference for men and i prefer to be referred to as masc titles)

i really like sleeping when i can, drawing and writing are things i also like to do! i also like ranting about random things-

i tend to stay by myself though i do like hanging out with my friends whenever i can! i’m very sensitive emotionally and i tend to be able to empathize with people easily, though it tends to take a toll on me. having anger issues doesn’t help either- though i rarely take my emotions out on people

i’m very physically affectionate and i tend to show my love through actions rather than words. i tend to get overstimulated/overwhelmed whenever there’s too much noise or people around me. i’m also super loyal to my friends and tend to be a bit protective over them (and just the people i love in general)

i tend to stay up VERY late at night because it’s pretty calming and it’s when i have the most energy. i tend to stay at home a lot but i do like going on walks or randomly exploring my area. i’d also like to be a librarian or work at a bookstore!

i love moths and cats to death and could talk for hours about them tbh- though i love listening to people i like talk about the things they like too!

thank you lots for your time and have a great time!

₊‧.°.⋆✮⋆.°.‧₊

JJK Matchups (Full Bouquet 💐)

Nanami X G/N/ Masc Reader

Hiii Dove! This is my first request for anything JJK related so I’m hoping I get it right :D

A/N: I've also never written for a masc reader before please let me know if I did anything incorrectly or if I made you uncomfy in any way

(blurb)

You were opening up shop early one Tuesday morning, the cool metal keys jingling in your hands as you unlocked the front doors. As you swung open the door you noticed a tall man approaching from around the corner. Oh. It was him again. This blonde man was one of your regulars, he was almost always around right when you opened and failed to miss a morning since your bookstore opened up last fall. You held the door open for him to enter, welcoming him in a soft “Good Morning!”. He appeared to tense up at your actions and nodded in response. Hmm so mystery man wasn’t much of a talker either then. Your bookstore was the epitome of cozy, tall oak bookshelves full of books with titles ranging from all across the world. The small areas of wall space that weren’t covered in shelves had small frames of cat pictures or paintings. Your very own cat was curled up on the checkout counter in a pool of black fur. You hummed a soft tune walking over to your spot at the counter and began to turn on the radio music for some background noise. Your mystery man was stalking from to and fro, hands shoved in his pockets, and a contemplative look on his face. You couldn’t help but stare at him. He had this energy and aura about him that was alluring, as he turned in your direction you quickly averted your gaze and picked up a nearby book you had yet to finish “A History of Moths:Worldwide Edition” You eventually got lost in your novel preferring to think about the Comet Moth than about your awkward encounters with your blonde regular. About five minutes past before you heard a soft *Ahem* looking up you made direct eye contact with the blonde guy, this time he was in front of your register with a slightly flustered face. “Oh! Sorry about that” you got a little red in the face, “I was just reading about Comet moths, did you know their long tails are really handy against predators?”you looked up at him expectantly. “No..I didn’t know that '' he gives you a small smile and hands you his book he wanted to check out. You continued to give him some pretty cool facts about Comet Moths and as he looks at you a bit caught off guard you realize-Ohhh you were doing it again. You tended to talk a lot about your passions when they were on your mind. “Sorry about that, I guess I was just really excited about this book” You try to shake off that embarrassing moment and ring up his book. He watches you for a second before quickly saying ���Don’t apologize for being passionate about something you love.” you look up at him and give him a small smile feeling your face heat up “My name is Nanami by the way” He held out his hand to shake yours. “Dove” you say, shaking his hand. He smiled and you felt the rays of the rising sun through the windows, you felt them warming up your face. Everything around you began to have this spark to it…

Song: Sparks- Coldplay 

It’s soft and just reminds me of an early morning like this one :)

(headcanons)

The only reason Nanami was so adamant about being a regular at your shop was so that he could meet you

Your sketches and drawings are constantly praised by Nanami, he has a few framed on his desk at work. 

Since you are more of a night owl, whenever he comes home late from work, he’s always so happy to be met with your smiling face as you look up from whatever book you were engrossed in. 

You can 100% expect Nanami to never miss a single opening in the morning. He’ll always find an excuse to see you before a busy day at his workplace. Whether he just wants to drop off your tea or coffee order, or if he just wants to give you a quick kiss on the forehead. 

Evening walks are a MUST. On lazy sunday nights when you want to just enjoy the dusk before the night swallows the sky whole, you and Nanami just link arms and walk in content silence breathing in that fresh air. 

Reading dates are always scheduled beforehand and involve a lot of cuddling and several good books, and of course giant fluffy blankets

Thank you so much for your request <3

As always please feel free to like, reblog if you enjoy :)

-Anna

[sancta-seraphina]

hello! been a bit obsessed with your art, and stories, for a while now (hope it hasn't come across as weird)!

a while ago you mentioned Davidson's Dictionary of Angels as a good source, but that you didn't agree with a few things. As someone who's had that book as reference for a bit now, I'm really curious as to which things?

Aw, thank you so much! <3 I hope to be able to release more things about them soon (I'll be very busy with the ballet this month and next month though).

About the Davidson book—don't get me wrong, I absolutely LOVE this book. It's literally one of my favorites! I use it all the time. But I've also had many moments where I simply was not pleased about the information given. I won't list everything, but here are some issues I've had:

One thing in particular made me question the accuracy of definitions to their sources. @/a-thenais and myself were talking about a particular angel name that barely had a description aside from (roughly) 'an angel belonging to the order of the Cherubim that occurs in the Book of the Angel Raziel' (Sepher Raziel), since she was thinking about using that name in her story.

...well I have translations of the Book of the Angel Raziel in multiple formats (physical book and ebooks) and even its alternate titles, so I decided to go see what it says because I'm an insane person who cross-references like that.

I could NOT find the name, and I spent hours trying to, and made multiple attempts on various days. I literally went through every spelling translation I could come up with regarding the name—because Hebrew & Aramaic letters don't match up well to English. I STILL have not found it.

So I don't really know where that leaves me, aside from asking questions about multiple books. Did my copies leave it out? Did someone translate it incorrectly? Did Davidson credit the wrong book? I checked everything he listed. I started to wonder if maybe I'm just really bad at finding information (I'm usually decent at it). And I'm still determined to find it eventually.

Another thing I remember being irked by was the lack of information regarding the names of Metatron. Davidson only lists the 76 names from the Sepher ha-Heshek, and does not include the 105 from 3 Enoch, which is what I was specifically hoping for when I looked up the names of Metatron in the book. He mentions that they are in 3 Enoch, and I have two translations of 3 Enoch, but I would really like to know more about them and was hoping for at least references to other commentary on them. So he definitely failed me on that.

I also don't really like that he said Lucifer is 'erroneously' equated with Satan, since in my opinion, that's up to what an individual wants to believe about him and which names an individual wants to ascribe to the devil. So I would have removed the word 'erroneously', since many people DO believe them to be the same, which to me is just as valid a belief as thinking they are different. And when it comes to beliefs, I'm a really big fan of letting people believe what they like and not pushing them one way or the other on the basis of 'facts' or 'mistranslation'.

Overall, I still LOVE the book and recommend it, and like any book, it has its flaws.

[penroseparticle]

Penrose Song of the Day, Day 34: Walang Alam by Hev Abi

I found this song through happenstance.

The other day my mom was telling me that I need to let my mind run the engine, so to speak, so that I can get it to wind down enough to let me do things. The proverbial "let the kid run in circles until he's tired enough to focus". And so I did. I closed my eyes, and just let my thoughts chase each other over and over and follow any path they wanted to until I settled down enough. It worked. I promptly forgot to do it any subsequent days.

I remember the phrase "LALAKINGS" though. Just popped into my head unbidden. I enjoy picking the threads of fate, so to speak. randomness is baked into everything, we are all on The Drunkard's Walk, sometimes going with it takes you somewhere you wouldn't get without it. So I take the time to be whimsical, or nonsensical sometimes. I impart more meaning to actions than they deserve because hey- it means something to someone, right? Why not this, why not to me?

So I did a quick Spotify search for the phrase lalakings. I had an inkling I could find something music related to it, and lo and behold, I hit upon a truly impressive playlist of some, frankly, insanely good hiphop. Shoutout Aeron Medina, if you ever read this know you have great taste.

Hev Abi was the second artist on the playlist, right after Coast Contra (Another high quality pick tbh, give them a listen).

I don't know if I would have picked Filipino Rap to be my new obsession, but I'll be damned if Walang Alam hasn't been in heavy rotation lately.

I'm no stranger to quote unquote foreign music, even in this series- Todo De Ti was featured earlier. Laisses Tomber Les Filles. I loved Telepatia when it came out. The Spark is blowing up as we speak. I'm an Ikimono Gakari Stan, I know Yelle by heart. PLEASE GO LISTEN TO TALCO, Italian Ska is the truth, weirdly. Connor Price's Globe series gave me some great hiphop artists to listen to in other countries and languages.

But strangely I haven't hit on any southeast asia, any pacific islander fare. Nothing to really

There's something so. Chill about Walang Alam. It's got credibility. I hear this and I'm like yeah. This guy is sad. He's sad in a different language which makes him EXTRA sad because i didn't even hear sad words to clue me in! He has poor wet meow meow energy via voice alone. Truly incredible.

I enjoy the acoustic approach to the song. Acoustic music is musical shorthand for more intimate, more emotional. your sound has less reach, so we know it's just for us. Maybe it hits different knowing it's private. Vulnerable.

I've been thinking a lot about sadness. How to deal with it. I feel like I can only feel my emotions incorrectly. Like some dumb ogre stomping around breaking things. I'm so angry all the time and I don't have anywhere to put it. I don't want to burden people. Lord knows I've done enough of that. But you can't hold the hurt and do anything else, I'm finding.

So how do you turn it into roses, or whatever. You talk about it right? We're hardwired to be helped by the talking. But how, and to who, and how much is too much, and hey don't forget you're intruding on their personal wellbeing by being unwell at them.

You are a tire fire, but ouroboros'd back around at myself. It won't shut off though so I'm trying to bushwhack through it. Bear with me, under construction, etc.

I think this song is the good kind of sad. Where even though no solution has been presented, something of value was gained. Reflection? Perspective? A sick single? Whatever it is, Hev Abi seems changed and resolved by the end.

The tiny pop of english at the end is a nice touch too. very "moon in japanese is different, more evocative and mystical" somehow. Like yes fellow musicians this is a big time music artist he has mainstream america appeal there's english words here. I don't know, I think the intentional choice for the last few bars to be different gives that resolved feeling mroe weight- the words literally change at the end of the song.

It's quiet. It's reflective. It's tight, too, at 3 minutes almost on the dot (Still not optimized for streams and with a full song structure, so I consider it a dub)

I don't have a lot on this one today. I wrote like 70% of this like 2 weeks ago and then just stalled out. But I finished writing something. Allegedly this is progress.

Just remember. You could be dead right now. Go listen to something you love

[caelivir]

₊˚ʚ FOR THE BLOG

𐀔 i'm not the most active. i've been better about it this year, but there will be times that i won't be writing for lengthy periods of time because of school and writer's block. i also have my notifs off for this app so i don't see things in a timely manner. i'm sorry in advance.

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₊˚ʚ MY WRITING

𐀔 i don't take requests so please don't send any in. if any show up in my inbox, i won't answer it. i prefer writing my own stories. :)

𐀔 i mostly write fem readers but i occasionally do gn reader. it depends on my mood and the content. i actively try to avoid as much physical description as i can in order to make my works as inclusive as they can be. if there is anything i can do to improve on this, don't be afraid to reach out.

𐀔 i will only write for my faves. this is mainly because i’ll have a better grasp on their character and will have more motivation to finish a fic. if you would like to see who will most likely be featured on the blog check out my list of lovers. there’s no balance between how often i write for my faves. it all depends on if i get refixated on that character’s specific media. (that’s why there’s a knb drought rn ummm…)

𐀔 all of my works are sfw, but they can get suggestive (mostly detailed make out sessions, mentions/implied sex, dirty jokes etc.)

𐀔 i do my best to tw accordingly. the one thing i don't tag is food, but other than that if there is anything you think i missed, let me know.

𐀔 i don't want criticism i didn't ask for. if there is ever a time that i do ask for it, please be careful with your words. i'm sensitive towards tone, so if i interpret something as harsh, i will overthink it and get insecure lmao.

if you took the time to read this, i love you and i hope you are living a happy life in 4k 60fps ultra hd. here’s the masterlist!

[nothingtoseehere-7788]

One Man's Trash - Bitter Taste Test

Luke was sitting in a booth waiting for his order when Trisha slid into the other side with her backpack and placed her order number next to his. “I was starting to think you weren't coming T, first time I've seen you be late.”

“I'm really sorry, midterms have me stressed.” She hastily worked on unpacking as a waitress dropped off his sandwich and fries. “By the way, do you think I could…” She lowered her voice and couldn't bring herself to finish the sentence.

“Can you show me how to tie those knots I sent you in real time?” He looked up at her without moving his head. She shook her head looking away. “Then I can do it for you if you'd like but your rope stays with me. Sorry, T but it's a safety thing especially after you confirmed having shooting pains. Part of me wondered if that was the only reason you asked to study with me.”

“Well I don’t actually know a lot of people in class and I've been really struggling with the study guide and I know you're pretty good with the material, so I really appreciate the help.” 

Her food arrived and they started to go over the practice problems for about an hour before Trisha started to space out. After Luke had to work to get her attention the fifth time he snapped.

“I'm sorry T, is trying to pass this test boring you?” He asked sarcastically. “I mean it's only worth 25% of our grade. You're the one who wanted help.”

“I know, I'm sorry, I'm just… I thought I could do this and be normal, but I just keep…dwelling. I'm not sure what to do…” She fiddled with her straw for a minute hoping he would cut into the conversation but he just looked at her with an annoyed expression. “Do you think…” she trailed off again.

“I’m always thinking T. If you want something from me you're going to have to use your words.” She made a small distressed noise. 

“Can… can we play some kind of study game?” He let a small smile play on his lips.

“Some kind of game huh? Sure, I think I could whip up an innocent little game, make it interesting…” She gave another soft whine. “Not what you had in mind?”

“You know what I meant.” She muttered moving the straw in her cup sadly.

“Perhaps, but it would be a shame to incorrectly assume your intentions. I don't want to push your boundaries until you ask me to. Explicitly so.” He drained the last of his drink. “So what's it going to be? A nice game, giving up for the day, or something else? I can't entertain you all day - I have other midterms to study for.” 

She took a deep breath and looked up bravely. “Please, I would like-” A group of people walked by and her courage faltered. Luke rolled his eyes and sent a text. 

‘Does asking this way help?’ Her shoulders relaxed a little reading it. 

‘Yes. I want to play a mean game plz.’ Her eyes flicker nervously from her phone to across the table.

‘Like at the gym? I can easily arrange something similar, but you won't like it.’ She looked up at him considering her options and he lifted an eyebrow. ‘I mean it. you really won't like it.’

‘...why does that make me want it more? 😰’ He actually chuckled across the table from her. It sounded nice on the surface but it made her uneasy. ‘yes plz, let's play.🥺’ 

‘remember you asked for this Trash ☠’

“Alright, continuing it is, let me refill your drink.” Before she could protest he had scooped up her half full drink and left with a wink. If she wasn't so nervous she probably would have noticed he didn't ask an important question. 

When he returned she fidgeted in her seat partly from excitement and partly from nervousness. “Alright, so the rule of the game is when you miss a question, you have to take a drink, and I mean a decent sized gulp. Nope!” He put a hand on her cup as she tried to pull the lid off to see what it was. “No peeking! Just pray for a perfect game which might be hard with your track record.” 

“Okay. Thank you for doing a game.” She started reorienting her notes to focus.

“You know these things are purely my pleasure, but I would also like a thank you after your first punishment swallow. Now, would you like to start with the study guide questions or the flash cards?” They started going through flash cards and she was the first to miss three questions in. “You were so close T, but now you have to suffer the consequences.”

She picked up the cup and pulled the straw to her mouth. It had an unpleasant smell yet was vaguely familiar as well. As she started to take the sip she looked up to see the sideways smirk. The moment the liquid hit her tongue she fought back a small retch and lowered the cup.

“Remember, biiiiig swallow T.” She grimaced and tried again, this time pulling enough of the bitter, salty liquid into her mouth as quickly as she could and working hard to force it all the way down. By the time she succeeded her entire mouth tasted like whatever was in the cup and Luke's smile became a full blown grin. “Very incentivizing, yes?”

“Very!” She agreed frantically reaching for the only other cup available to wash out the taste. He pulled his cup out of her reach. “Oh come on, please! What even was that?”

“I can't have you contaminate my soda with your pottymouth.” She rolled her eyes at the juvenile insult, stuffing the last crumbs from her food into her mouth in desperation before something clicked. 

“No…” she whispered quietly, causing him to chuckle softly. 

“Oh yes, and I've been hitting the caffeine and junk food hard so it must be especially unpleasant today. I did cut it with green tea though. If you want another drink you can get yourself one of those clear plain water cups.” She groaned loudly but slid out of her seat to get a water cup. “By the way, you still owe me a thank you.” He added upon her return.

She looked at him wide eyed as she took her seat again. “Thank you for doing a game…” The breathless embarrassed tone she had previously was gone. In its place was a dejected sulking. 

“It is,” he said slowly with long pauses between his words, “purely my pleasure.” She pulled her arms closer to her body as if they would shield her from his icy tone. “Next question.” 

She focused hard answering more questions but still had to take two more punishment sips while he still hadn't missed any answers. She had tried to hold her nose on her second sip and it hadn't made a difference. She was able to swallow pretty quickly on her third sip. 

“Luke?” One of the guys who was glued to his side during class stopped by the table. “And…let me guess, sweatshirt girl.” She frowned at the title especially since she opted for a jean jacket today. 

“Her name is Trisha. Trisha, this is Bo, he's one of my roommates. You here to study? You can join in if you want.” Trisha gave an uncomfortable shimmy across the table partnered with a kick underneath it, both of which he ignored.

“Well I brought all my Spanish stuff to study, but if you don't mind I gotta study for this test too.”

“No problem. We're even playing a study game you can join in.” Sheer panic crossed her face and she dealt a harder kick.

“Haha, no wonder she's got that look.” He laughed with a side glance. “What sick twisted game did you get this poor girl into?”

“Shots fired.” Bo gave a low whistle. “She's three shots in.”

“And you willingly let him fill your cup? Three in? Respect sweatshirt girl.” Bo gave her an approving head nod. “Alright, I'm down, just no backwash in the punishment cup.” 

“Naw, she's got bitter. I'll make you your own.” He gave a wink to Trisha who was in a state of terrified resignation.

“Only if I get to make yours. Revenge is a bitch.” Bo set his bag down in the booth.

“I'll take your cup, but you should know I got a perfect game so far. Keep an eye on our stuff T.” Luke slid out of the booth and headed with Bo to the counter. They returned with two more table numbers and sat on the same side of the booth opposite her. 

“B-T-dubs good to officially meet you Trisha. Or do you prefer T?” Bo asked pulling out his limited supplies.

“Trisha is fine. Nice to meet you too Bo. We were just about to start the study guide.” She calmed down a little knowing her secret drink would remain just that.

“Nice, I finished it last night. Well mostly. At least I got a bit of a head start on the game.”

“Head start?” Trisha looked confused at Luke. Who put on a fake look of surprise.

“Oh my gosh, I didn't tell you about how the game ends?” Trisha paled and shook her head.

“First to take a leak loses. The more shots you take the closer you get to the ultimate loss. House rules state that loser chugs the rest of their drink.” Bo explained. Trisha stared at her cup shaking slightly. 

“I'd like to remind you that you were warned you wouldn't like the game.” A few tears started to well up in her eyes.

“Yo, you gotta be careful with this guy. Rumor has it he got his place in our room because of how good he was at making…what are we calling them now? Pledge bonding activities. Shit, did you break her?” 

“Do you wanna stop while you're ahead T?” She looked at Luke's face and marveled at how neutral he could make it. “You don't have to go through with it.”

“Three shots is pretty savage for a first try with the game master. No shame in it.” Bo agreed trying to open his drink only to have Luke put his hand on the lid like he'd done with her. “Damn, okay man. Anyway let's get started you can think about it. I got a blank copy, we can all do questions then compare, everyone gets a chance to lose.”

Everyone had good run of answers for awhile, the basket of fries Luke got for them to share helped raise her spirits as well. Bo was the first to miss an answer.

“Shit…here goes…” He took his large mouthful in quickly and swallowed with some difficulty slamming his hand on the table. “Fucking sour? Why sour?”

“Second easiest to make. Plus you hate it.” Trisha couldn't help but smile a little at not being the only victim today. “Next question.” Two questions later only Luke got the answer correct.

“You in?” Bo asked. She nodded and picked up the drink nervously. “Together. 3. 2. 1.” They both took their punishment swallows and made a face after. Trisha ate a fry and took a sip of water but it wasn't any help. 

“How do fries make it worse?” She asked with a firm grip on the table.

“Just rank. Foul and rank.” Bo added before drinking from his water cup. 

“All the better to help motivate you two slackers.” Luke offered. “We're almost done. And I'm pretty sure the game is almost over.” Trisha looked up from her problem to see him staring at her. 

“Me?” Bo looked up at her too, making her blush. 

“I don't know T, do you always have such a pronounced leg bounce?”

“Wha- oh fuck…” she put a hand on her leg to try and keep it steady. “Let's just try and get through this fast.” 

Bo missed the next two in a row which made his face pucker extra on his last drink. He was relying heavily on his food as a palette cleanser. The next question Bo and Trisha both groaned as they got the same thing different from Luke.

“Wait…” Bo stopped her just in time with a huge smile. “Revenge, served chilled. Make sure you give it a good shake buddy.” Luke rolled his eyes and picked up his drink. He gave it a few stirs and swivels before taking a large mouthful before forcing it down.

“It seems…that you're getting better at these. This is truly disgusting. The Italian dressing was a nice touch.” He took a sip of his water and made a face.

“Fuck yeah! And fuck you!” Bo held up a hand across the table. “Don't leave me hanging here Trisha…” She looked away from Luke's face and gave Bo his high five with a smile. 

“Alright, alright, last question.” Luke said de-escalating the situation. Miraculously they all got it correct but Trisha was biting her lip and holding her stomach. Her phone buzzed and she saw a text message from Luke

‘You gonna drink mine and sit in yours  all in the same day or will you excuse yourself like a lady and accept the consequences Trash?’

“I don't think I can hold it…” She said with a loud groan. “I'll be right back…” She quickly made her way to the restroom, fidgeting on the spot waiting for a stall to open. She barely had the patience to wipe the seat dry before sitting and relieving her aching bladder.

She washed her hands slowly and did a walk of shame back to the table. The boys had divvied up the study materials into neat piles so she could pack her stuff more easily.

“Thank you…” She said putting things in her binder and folders while they finished packing up their bags.

“Sure thing.” Bo said with a grin. “This was pretty helpful. You really don't have to chug it, you still get mad props for making it to the end.” She blinked and looked from Bo to Luke.

“I had my fun, do what you want.” he shrugged without much interest.

She picked up the cup to see how much was left, still about half her cup. She pulled the top off and tipped it back, swallowing it as fast as she could before slamming the cup down and coughing. She quickly followed it by draining her water cup.

“Daaaaamn girl.” Bo said. Her phone buzzed again.

‘Only truly disgusting Trash chugs cold fucking piss like that. This is a new low.’ 

“That was really intense…” she finally managed.

“Bet. I see why he likes you. You should bring her around to a party sometime Luke. I gotta jump but it was nice to meet ya Trisha.”

“You too!” They waved after Bo as he left the restaurant leaving them in a loaded silence.

“By the way Luke, you were wrong.” Trisha spoke up first while staring at her empty cup.

“About?” He asked vaguely with his head buried in his backpack

“I had fun. Really, thank you for doing this game.” She gave him a sincere smile that he returned with a proud smirk.

“It is purely my pleasure T. Thanks for playing along the full time. I had my doubts a few times.” He spoke casually as he tidied the trash on the table. 

“Me too,” she admitted. “But…I even though I hated doing it… I still loved it. And I think…” She took a long pause. “I think a part of me wanted to impress you. I tried to walk away, but I really want to give this a try if you're still up for it.” 

“I'd like that. If we're going to do this long term then I think we'll need to get some labels. Boyfriend/girlfriend to the outside world at the very least. We’ll have another chat after midterms to talk out everything else. Are you good with that?” He broke out that smile that made her knees go weak.

“I think I’m going to really enjoy being your girlfriend…”