#if i’m not wording something ik can be better i immediately want to die lmao so i would be saved from my own mediocrity

[akkivee]

where i’m at on that buster bros dt summary btw lol *is dying*

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #341

“anger, misery, you’ll suffer unto me”

Would you risk your life to save a total stranger? I don't think so. Have you ever trashed your ex’s car after an argument? No, and I never would. Grow up. Have you ever done something because of peer pressure you are ashamed of? I don't believe so, no. Have you ever been embarrassed to introduce your parents to anyone? No. Would you leave a note on a car claiming responsibility if you damaged it? Yeah; guilt would eat me alive otherwise. Have you ever used someone's handicapped parking pass to get a parking spot? Fucking ew, no. Have you ever held back a well-deserved compliment because you were jealous? No. Do you guilt people into giving you what you want? Ugh, no. Would most people consider you better than average looking? Ha, no. For yourself, would you rather have a perfect body or high IQ? Give me the perfect body, living in my horrible one has affected my mental health badly enough. I'm fine with having a moderate IQ. I just want to feel happy in my own skin. Have you ever embarrassed some intentionally in public? Wow, no. Have you ever used a false ID? Also no. Are you embarrassed to tell people your job? I'm embarrassed to tell people I don't HAVE a job. Do you remember the first conversation you had with the person you have feelings for? I don't. I'm sure it was RP-related and not friendly, but I don't remember the exact convo. Have you ever got a D or F on your report card? I want to say no; I think the lowest I ever got was a C. If you had twins, would you give them rhyming names? Ugh, no. I'm sorry if you're into it, but I'm just not. I would want to ensure they knew their uniqueness and individuality was seen. Is there anyone that you wish was IN your life who used to be? There's a large number of those kinds of people. What brings out the worst in you? Probably when I'm building up towards a PTSD meltdown. I get VERY short and snappy and am convinced everyone hates and wants to leave me. My mouth also has NO fucking leash, and I know I can say very mean things that I'll regret later. What do you prefer, Skittles or Starbursts? Skittles. Mike & Ikes or Jolly Ranchers? Jolly Ranchers for sure. What is your favorite thing to eat with peanut butter? Waffles (with syrup). Don't knock it 'til you try it, I'm telling you. What are some wild animals commonly found where you live? Besides birds obviously, there's squirrels, deer, opossums, raccoons... Have you ever had a lucid dream? I think I've had just one. What's your biggest problem at the moment? Probably my anxiety having stunted my growth in so many areas. Have you ever turned down a job offer? I don't think so, no. What's the longest hospital stay you've had? For what? I think my longest was almost two months for suicidal thoughts. Two months might sound long, but it was like... my third or so psych hospital stay for that same reason. What's something really basic that you're terrible at? Even the most simple math. I don't even know the majority of my elementary multiplication tables. Have you ever hugged someone for over a minute? Yeah. Would you ever get a tattoo on your collar bone? I have one there already, but I plan on getting it covered because it was an impulse tattoo that I feel no connection towards. Have you ever searched for your house on Google Earth? My old house, yeah. Are you a beach, country, or city person? Country. Living in the suburbs has definitely reminded me of that... Are you faster at text messaging or typing on the computer? Typing, by a long shot. I make typos texting too much. Have you ever kissed anybody who had a mustache? Yeah. Who is the last person that you said "I love you" to, besides family members? Sara. When was your first real relationship? Sophomore year of high school to early college. Have you ever cried over an ex? I've cried the entire mass of water on Earth over an ex lmao. Have you ever kissed someone of the same sex? Yes. Is there something really bad that you’ve done, that only YOU know about? No. Have you ever copied someone else’s homework? I think I have once or twice, but obviously with consent. What’s a hobby you would like to try out? If my legs worked like actual legs and I didn't sweat like an absolute pig, I would like to try out herping, but without actually interacting with the animal like picking it up and scaring the daylights out of it. I'd just be happy enough looking for reptiles, amphibians, and inverts to photograph instead. Does that still even count as herping? What was the last event you attended? My youngest niece's birthday party. How about the last event you organized? I've never organized an event. What’s something you get excited about doing and want to do it right away? Whenever I take nature pictures, I'm immediately keen to get them into Lightroom and do the postproduction. Is there anything you feel you’re better at than anybody else? Definitely not. What’s the biggest insect you’ve ever seen? If you exclude places like the zoo, that would probably be a rhinoceros beetle or something. Oh no, actually some kind of local moth I don't know the name of. They're beautiful big white boiz. How about the biggest spider? I might be mis-remembering, but I believe at a reptile convention I went to with Sara, one of the vendors had a goliath bird eater tarantula in one of the cups. I do know it was some tarantula species for sure, though. Who was the first person to break your heart? My dad. Obviously not romantically, but him just splitting on the family with no proper communication absolutely broke my heart for years. First person to give you flowers or candy on Valentine’s day? I'm sure that would be my parents. If you exclude them 'cuz that's kinda obvious, I believe it was Aaron, my first boyfriend. I'm pretty sure we were together on Valentine's Day, because I remember getting him a giant Hershey's Kiss. First band you obsessed about? I wasn't truly obsessed with any band 'til Ozzy in middle school. Can you do a backflip? No; I've never tried and never will. I was and still am too afraid of breaking my neck. Like I have a MASSIVE fear of paralysis, particularly from the neck down; that fear is actually the biggest one that keeps me from driving, fun fact. Are you an optimist or a pessimist? Of the two, definitely a pessimist, but I at least think I align most with being a realist. What’s the biggest lie you’ve told someone? I'm unsure. Have you ever been hit on by someone of the same sex? Yeah. How many doors are in the room you’re in? Just one. Have you ever been engaged and broke it off? No. Has anyone ever drawn a picture of you? Tyler once drew a picture of him and me. It was cute. That guy still dove in WAY too fast. Have you ever dated a redhead? I haven't, but I love redheads. Natural red hair is just gorgeous. What are your thoughts on facial hair on guys? Historically, I seem to generally like some, but it really depends on the guy's general appearance. I can like none at all or a full beard and mustache, it doesn't really matter to me. Did you go anywhere today? No; my mom is in Florida with her brothers totally cleaning out Grammy's house, so she's not here to take me anywhere. Do you have any nieces or nephews? Oh yikes, I have a lot. I honestly can't count because I've lost track of how many boys and girls Katie has. You have a choice to shoot your father or die, what would you do? Jesus. I'd rather die; some things just aren't worth living after, and I'd have no desire to keep going if I killed my father. Did you ever cry at the end of King Kong? I've never watched it, actually, but I. LOVED. The video game. I haven't played it in years and only faintly remember how it ends, but I don't remember crying. Are you in any amount of pain at the moment? Quite a lot, actually. It's kinda a TMI subject so I won't delve into it, just know I'm hurting like a bitch. What was the last sugary thing you ate? I snacked on some chocolate chips earlier today... which I really shouldn't have done, but I think I had reasonable restraint and didn't totally binge. When was the last time you did something extremely stupid? Who knows, that's not a rare occurrence, it feels like. Have you been to any parties lately? Only my niece's bday party in February. Thankfully it was kept pretty small, given Covid; not that anyone in that family besides my sister gives a flying fuck about precautions, though... Can you touch your pinky to your thumb around your wrist? Ugh, no. Close, but not enough. I still have thin wrists and hands, but yeah, yay for being overweight. If you were to start a charity, what would you call it? I'd hve to put more thought than I'm willing for one survey question. I'd have to decide what KIND of charity I want to start first, which I'm unsure of. Probably something related to animal wellfare and conservation or something similar to the Trevor Project. Maybe LBGTQ+ youth disowned by their families... I dunno. There's so much good I wish I could do. Are you comfortable with your body? Holy fuck no. It's only gotten worse since I started gaining weight again and almost entirely erased all weight loss progress I'd made. What is your recent inside joke? Most recently made? Idk, man. I don't make those often. Would you rather be a human, vampire, or a werewolf? Er, I'm good with being a human. If I was a vampire or werewolf, I wouldn't exactly be very welcomed, I'm sure, and both have seemingly painful traits to cope with. Are you good at giving directions? It is absolutely impossible for me. I have NO sense of direction, like, at all. I don't know highway names, local exits, etc. etc. etc. etc. Why did you last curse? Pain when readjusting myself due to aforementioned issue I'm having. What is your purpose in life? I hope it involves animals and spreading words of peace and an appreciation for art. What is one of your weak points? I'm very, very, very dependent on others. I'm really working on trying to correct that. I can barely do shit on my own as is. Who was the last person you heard snoring? My cat, haha. Would you rather shower by yourself or with another person? 100% by myself. Another person would just get in the way and make me VERY self-conscious of my body, even if it was my romantic partner. Just please leave me alone to hate myself for 10 minutes. :^) What was your last addiction? You could say my current one is John Wolfe, a really funny let's player I've gotten into. Been bingeing some of my favorite games he has playlists of for a few weeks now. You are in a tank full of spiders, what do you do? Well one, I'd like to know what kind they are. Venomous? Harmless? You gotta give me the details. If I don't have any, then I'm admittedly freaking the fuck out, even though I know I should stay very calm when trying to get out. Fear would win, though. If killing yourself meant saving the world, would you? Saving the world from what? But odds are, yeah. I don't cherish my pretty damn mediocre life more than I do the lives of what, 8 billion people? Have you ever stayed up all night just to talk to someone? Yeah. When was the last time you eavesdropped someone? I kinda do that sometimes when Mom's on the phone and I can hear her from my room, and if they're on speaker. Particularly if the subject is me. When was the last time you went to a club? I've never been to one. How have you been sleeping? Poorly. Are you adopted? No, I'm not. Do you like scrapbooking? Not really, no. Do you collect anything valuable? "Valuable to me." <<<< This. Nothing of great monetary worth, though. Have you ever been beaten up? No, thankfully. Do you know anyone with an eating disorder? I don't think so, in my personal life. What was the last thing you killed? An ant. Have you ever used someone for money? I never could, no. When was the last time you went to the zoo? Sigh, it's been many many years. I'm so ready to get my goddamn legs back in shape so I can go again, this time with a REAL camera, too. Last time I went was when I still only had a Kodak EasyShare; I have a professional Canon camera now with much more education on photography too, so I would be in absolute heaven with at least twenty memory cards in need, haha. Maybe next fall... Is there a teacher you hate more than anything? I actually never had a teacher I hated in my entire school career. It really, really is as simple as just being a respectful student. In most cases, I should emphasize, because I do understand some educators just suck. Now I had some teachers I wasn't very fond of, but most certainly none that I hated. Do you own colored eyeliner? No. Do you have manners? I honestly think I'm very mannerly. When was the last time that you had a pet that died? We last had to put my dog Teddy down; he had cancer and was literally withering away. I knew in my very core that even if we didn't bring him to the vet to euthanize him, he would've died naturally in a very short period of time; I doubt he would've survived another night. Now I'd like to move on. What is your favorite medication that you take, and why? The combination of Vraylar and Lamictal is the reason I'm alive. It keeps my bipolarity and depression under control. Do you decorate Mason jars? No, but those are some of my favorite crafts visually. They're very pretty and cute. Can you see the mountains from where you live? Oh hunny, I wish. Did you ever play pranks on April Fool’s Day? As a kid, yeah. I don't anymore. I'm not really even a fan of April Fool's Day as an adult because of how cruel some jokes assholes play are. Which instrument would you play if you could learn to play one? Maybe violin. Do you part your hair on the left side, right side, or in the middle? The left. What are some names you like that start with the first letter of your name? Uhhhh Bianca, Braelynn (look I know it's so stereotypically Southern but it's pretty)... and idk from there, those are the two that come to mind first.

[pokemagines]

takumi, gaius, henry, robin, & soren + summoner using their confession lines

anon asked: “I absolutely love this blog I'm so glad I found it!!! If at all possible can I have a summoner that has played the games using a characters confession line against them? Like with Takumi, Gaius, Henry, and any others that you like? Oh and what if the summoner creates ones for the characters who don’t have one like Grima/Robin, Alphonse, Corrin, Ect.”

a/n: y’all i am So Tired.... work is really Like That huh? OH and i got a kitten too recently!! we names her loki bc she’s v mischievous lmao --mod touko

also: i was rereading takumi’s confession line for this and i SCREAMED the japanese version he literally calls u sister i’m!!!! that is NOT okay sdkjhgfkfgjls

takumi: 

you’ve known about his crush on you for the longest time, as it’s not really subtle. he always gets flustered whenever you get near him, yelling something about you distracting him in order to try and get you to not be so close to him. (it’s embarrassing to him for you to see him all flustered).

so, you decide to confess to him first, but, not knowing what to say, you decide to tease him a bit and use words you know he’s said to corrin in another lifetime. you grab both his hands, making him look you in the eyes while you say it.    + “if you were aiming for my heart, you’ve struck true... this was meant to be...”

takumi is quiet for a moment, before laughing. you’re confused, wondering if this is him rejecting you (even though you were sure he liked you... could you have been wrong?)     + “i’m sorry but that was kind of cheesy!” he says inbetween laughs, “is this how people confess in your world?” you just kind of... blank out and don’t have the heart to tell him that that is in fact his own line.       “you’re such a jerk takumi!” you jest, lightly punching him in the ribs. he ruffles your your hair, smirking down at you.      “yeah, but i’m your jerk.”      “oh c’mon that was worse than y- i mean, my line!”

gaius:

gaius aka “i have the cheesiest confession line ever” took a while to warm up to you (he’s very skeptical about forging bonds with people). he’s not the best in battle, but he is good at sneaking behind enemy lines and collecting intel for you, which is how the two of you became close. he even gave you a nickname -- “honey” because of your love of the sweet candies he makes. (it’s been misinterpreted by people many times).

one day, the two of you are talking about the worst romantic experiences you’ve ever had -- gaius’s was where he once thought frederick was into him because he wouldn’t stop following him around and staring at him, turns out the knight just thought he was going to break into the royal treasury.     + “well, once this guy confessed his love to me by saying “baby you’re a river of chocolate in an ocean of cream... i’m going to steal your heart on a daily basis.”      “...what’s wrong with that? it’s kind of sweet, i guess?”      “gaius what the heck that’s literally the cheesiest line in the entire world... seriously, you couldn’t have thought up anything... sweeter than that?”      “wait, what do you mean by “you”... did i say that when i was drunk or something???”

after you let that slip and explain to gaius that fire emblem is a game in your world he promises to write you up something 100x better than game gaius could ever think of. you highly doubt it. 

henry:

henry seems to have taken a liking to you as you both quickly bonded over the sharing of very fatalistic humor (which some of the other heroes found very odd but they were too afraid of henry to point it out). the two of you had a mutual crush on each other, and you thought of no better way to confess than using his own words -- plus, it’d be funny to see his reaction.

you have the perfect opportunity when you see henry outside by himself, talking to a group of ravens. the raven stare menacingly at you as you get closer to the white-haired boy, but you don’t feel unnerved until he actual stands up and smiles at you, then you know what you have to do.    + “henry... i’ve been meaning to tell you something all day.” you nervously shift your weight from left to right. taking a deep breath, you swallow your pride and grab his hands, forcing yourself to look into his deep brown eyes. “i’ll love you with every ounce of my blood until i die...” silence. then you hear henry make a tut noise.       “aw rats! i was going to say that exact thing to you!” you see him pout, but you doubt he means it. “are you a psychic or something? c’mon tell me! if we’re gonna be together til death do us part, i’ve gotta know all your secrets... even the gross ones!”       “yes henry. i can read your mind. everyone in my world has a superpower, you know.” you joke, knowing he’ll take the bait.      “no way!! that is so cool! alright can you read my mind now?”      “you’re thinking that if you could have a superpower it would be necromancy, am i right?” he looks at you in awe.      “no way! no way! ooh, can we go read other people’s minds now! we can find out all their dark secrets... you’re really something special, babe!”

robin:

robin always offered to help you out with tactics. even when she was first summoned, she’d be by your side, helping you draw up routes and giving you advice on how to win the battle while also keeping everyone alive. 

it didn’t take long for you to fall for her, hard. she was the full package: smart, sassy, gorgeous beyond belief... everything about her drew you in more, until one day you couldn’t take bottling up your feelings anymore, and you decide to tell her.     + “ah! summoner, just the girl/guy i wanted to see! i was wondering if you wanted to eat lunch with me? there’s this really pretty grove of flowers i saw outside and i was wondering if you wanted to see them with me?” she’s not wearing her thick tactician cloak and you can see just how beautiful she really is, dark skin, freckles littered all over her shoulders... she’s breathtaking. you feel your head start to spin. “...if you don’t want to do that we could always--”      “no! i-i’d love too! i just have to tell you something first...” she nods, insisting for you to go on, and you take a deep breath: “hm... it seems i’ve found myself in a situation where i must admit defeat. very well, my heart is yours.” robin flushes a bit at your odd confession, before laughing quietly to herself.      “i’m sorry, for a moment there i thought you were another version of me!” she puts a hand on your shoulder, “not the way i saw this going, but it was cute!” she leans up and pecks you on the cheek. “so, you want to get some lunch with me, dear?” the way she says the word makes you melt, and you can only answer with a quiet.      “mhm.”

soren: 

soren and you have a rivalry of sorts, that started from the moment alfonse chose your plan over his. he sees you as a much inferior tactician, as he’s been studying his whole life and you’ve been studying for... well, as long as you’ve been in askr. he sees you as a hack running off luck.

it’s not until he goes to return a book late at night and sees you studying, eyes bloodshot and hardly able to stay awake that he realizes how hard you’re trying. he swallows his pride and sits down, asking about how you manage to come up with strategies despite having little to no knowledge on how the battlefield works. you perk up (as best as you can) and tell him how you come up with your strategies. he listens, and finds you not as insufferable as he once thought... maybe...

you know he has feelings for you. it’s evident how he sticks by your side, despite saying biting words towards you at times, he slowly but surely starts opening up to you. even ike (dense as he can be) seems to take notice, and teases his strategist about it.

of course, you know he won’t be the first one to confess because of how much of a tsundere he can be, so you take it into your own hands to tell him how you feel.    + “if you’ve come to pester me again, i’m busy.” he says curtly, but still moves over to where there was enough room for you to sit down. soren doesn’t look at you, but you can see a slight blush creep up on his cheeks.       “riiiiiight. so i’m guessing these week-old maps are keeping you busy? wait, is that a drawing of me in the corner?” he flusters immediately, ripping up the maps into little pieces. you chuckle, and he hisses, glaring at you as if to dare you to mention it again. you sit beside him on his work bench. “i came for a much different reason, i have to tell you how i feel--”      “why should i care about your feelings?      “because i like you. a lot.”      “just as you have to like everyone in the army. if that is all you can go now.” you would never have feelings for him, right?      “no, gods soren... do you want me to put it in words you can understand?” you put on your best impression of soren’s voice. “how did you do it? you’ve somehow... sorry, i should try and be nice since i-- i like you, okay? don’t make me say it again.” you giggle, “that’s how i think you would confess to someone, anyways.” you look at soren who’s completely flushed. he’s never had someone who liked him romantically before, heck, he’s only had one friend his whole life! what was he supposed to say?      “i guess the feeling is mutual.” he pouts, composing himself, “but that impression of me was gods-awful.”      “now that we’re dating, get used to hearing bad impressions alllllll day.” you link your pinky in his, and wink at him.      “now wait a minute!”

[innocentbeing]

unpopular opinion abt Lizzie

TL;DR: Ciel didn’t cause Lizzie to accept her strength, she already accepted it in that flashback scene with Frances. Her issue was wanting him to always think that she’s cute and her fear of being hated by Sirius.  

Lizzie wasn’t miserable because she had to hide her strength. She doesn’t even like fighting, she just does it cause it’s necessary. She looked unhappy having to fence even before Sirius’s infamous quote. Compare her expression from then to her big bright smile of being an unknowing angel.

(Off topic: I think the reason why everyone has such a disdain for Madam Red’s advice is due to fan translation using “weak” and “naive” while official uses “delicate” and “lovely”.

Not an ideal thing to say to a young girl in our generation, but it’s better than “weak” and “naive”. at the very least it pisses me off a lot less)

You could argue that Lizzie only dislikes it because of the social stigma of that era, and that could be true, but it doesn’t change the fact that it became a part of how she thinks and shaped her character.

She even says she would rather be cute in her flashback right after her vow that she would become a wife capable of protecting Ciel.  

She doesn’t/didn’t act cute as a way to appease Ciel/Sirius, she’s like that because that’s just her nature. Or how she was nurtured to be. I’m leaning more towards ‘nature’ since she’s shown both sides (proper lady vs knight) and still prefers the perks (cuteness/clothes/cliche girly stuff) of being a lady though it’s most likely both at play here. She also wants him to think she’s cute because she likes him. It’s normal to want to attract the person you love, no?

Lizzie never hated her strength, Sirius never caused her to hate herself. She never gave up that part of her, her mother wouldn’t allow it. When Frances told her “it’s for your sake and his” she accepted it.

This is why she was able to reveal her strength when it was needed. She didn’t need a boost of confidence or someone comforting her. She already made up her mind to protect Ciel (in her mind, Sirius) years before she revealed it. Ciel didn’t do anything to help her with that. He simply came back as a bleak former weaker shell of himself which gave her the urge to protect him. 

It doesn’t make sense, imo, to claim she had internal concerns over how strong she is when she so easily and very quickly chose to become “a wife capable of protecting Ciel” nearly immediately after he returned. I think that if she hated her own prodigious talent and struggled with accepting her strength then she should have struggled to make that choice as well since she’s pretty much embracing the part of herself she supposedly dislikes, but there’s nothing in that scene to indicate that.

The problem was “I want you to think of me as cute”. She didn’t want him to see an unattractive side of her because she likes him. It’s like what Yana said in that one post:

If someone told you to fight zombies - in underwear and with your set hair totally rumpled - in front of the person you love the most, it’d be totally devastating.

The situation would bring her to tears regardless. I mean yeah it was irrational given the dangerous circumstances they were in but add to the fact of what Madam Red told her, the fact that Lizzie genuinely enjoys being cute, and that she’s in love with Ciel/Sirius and desperately doesn’t want him to dislike her so her unwillingness was understandable?

Ofc Sirius’s “a strong wife would frighten me” comment also definitely contributed to her reluctance the most but I’m willing to bet that even without it, she would still feel grief showing that side of her to him. I’m so tired of this fandom making it seem like his comment was the entire reason for it. The most significant, yes, but not exclusive.

Besides, I don’t think Lizzie was deliberately withholding her strength the entire time they were on the boat. She didn’t carry swords around with her so she had nothing to defend with. Was she supposed to kill them barehanded like Sebastian? (geezus christ imagine) In the first place, they had no idea how to stop the things until Sebastian came and did it and the next time they ran into trouble she fought back, so yeah, I’m very sure she wasn’t like “well i’m just gonna stand here and not be helpful because Ciel might not like me”.

Conveniently there were swords hanging on the wall when her life was in danger and Ciel wasn’t able to protect her any longer and with that, she was able to protect herself and Ciel. If there weren't any swords around then, well, she probably would have gotten eaten alive right then and there. (or she would’ve run? lol) She was sad over revealing her strength due to how it looks and out of fear he would hate her, but it doesn't mean she was running around the whole time choosing not to fight back thus putting their lives at risk. That would contradict her vow of protecting him.

The part where she refused to strip to fit through the vents had nothing to do with her strength just her desire of wanting to look cute (like she explicitly says lmao. stating the obvious ik) She doesn’t want to run around in her underwear in front of him— that is what she meant by “staying cute in front of him” in that moment.

I could definitely understand why she very aggressively rejected to undress. It’s embarrassing, it’s shameful, it’s not cute at all, and she doesn’t want him to see her like that but given the situation, it’s not the time to be worried about that which is why Ciel got so angry :’D Her life was at risk after all.

The part where she’s surrounded by zombies crying “I wish I could have stayed cute in front of you till the very end, Ciel” is referring to her strength, considering she whipped out the swords right after. While Lizzie didn’t want him to see the “ugly” side of her, she has always been accepting of her strength. She wanted him to see her as cute but when he needed protecting she tossed aside that selfish desire. (I don’t think she calls it ugly out of self-hatred but because she genuinely finds it uncute. It’s just now she doesn’t care if she doesn’t look cute)

fghjm let me just reiterate, Ciel really… like… didn’t have to do anything. There was nothing he did for her when it comes to her strength. There really wasn’t anything he had to help her within that area. Sacrificing her cute side was all Lizzie’s choice, decided only by her, with the help of no one. The obstacle in her way was her personal feelings of “I want to look cute in front of you” and the only thing it took for her to reveal it was her’s and Ciel’s lives being in danger.

Actually, it could’ve been Ciel “If you die it’s all over” speech that helped Lizzie break out of her obsessive desire for being cute. Not that she isn’t still obsessed with it since it’s something she loves, but thanks to his words she’s now content with not looking cute for the sake of something more important? It had more to do with her thing with cuteness instead of strength and I don’t believe Lizzie had conflict over the latter but perhaps it did give her a boost in a sense.

She started crying because of Ciel & Seb’s reaction to her ‘I’ll carry you on my back!” The fact that she could say that so thoughtlessly and normally to him proves to me that Lizzie never hated or tried to dismiss her strength. She didn’t need Ciel to say he accepts her in order for her to accept that part herself.

can i just say that this panel is my fav Lizzie moment ever so far? it’s small and easily overlooked but it’s so cute. she just wants to help!! she’s so precious!!

Now if she cried first after everything was over and had to have Ciel comfort her then I would think that she loathed that part of herself but that’s not the case.

It went like this:

Lizzie, completely comfortable and no signs of distress from revealing her strength: I’ll carry you on my back! Ciel and Sebastian: reacts unfavorably Lizzie: oh no he must hate me

The way they were shocked and exasperated by Lizzie’s statement reminded her of her extreme fear of being hated by Sirius. She thought he wouldn’t like that she was strong so she cried because she doesn’t want him to hate her, which falls back to ‘wanting to attract the person you love’.

Lizzie’s just a young girl after all so hearing even a gentle critique from someone she likes would cause unease in her heart.

sdfghjkn I can’t explain things well, I don’t think I’m getting my point across clearly so I’m going to use an example from the popular manga Bleach.

(i know. just.. bear with me…)

There’s a scene where a character named Chad asks the main character Ichigo what he thinks of his female friend, Orihime’s, outfit. Orihime is in love with Ichigo so this question embarrassed her, and when he didn’t really give his approval she took things way out of proportion.

His actual response isn’t as mean as in her imagination (it wasn’t mean at all) but since it’s coming from someone she loves, the effect it has on her increases significantly so she unintentionally exaggerates the harshness of it.

I CRINGE AT MYSELF FOR USING THIS AS AN EXAMPLE WHEN IT’S A MANGA THAT’S SO DIFFERENT FROM KURO but this scene reminded me of Lizzie’s reaction. this is the feeling I’m trying to describe. this is what I think was the source of Lizzie’s worry when showing her strength to Ciel 

She is on her knees crying over how Ciel/Sirius must despise her now since she’s so strong and scary when he actually never said anything like that lmaoo

The reality is he was just a small boy scared by his aunt’s strength/strictness, which is a normal understandable reaction for a child his age. Let’s not forget that even Sebastian has his moments with Francis lmao.

He never intended to hurt Lizzie’s feelings and also she just exaggerated the meaning of it since she liked him and doesn’t want him to dislike her. I think such a feeling is very normal.

It’s like how Ciel explained. It was a long time ago. I think she realized that there was no need for her to worry about that anymore since it was said when he was younger and has yet to experience dramatic hardships.

At least that’s what I think. It’d be REALLY funny if Sirius, who fearlessly confronted a demon, would still be scared of Francis and by extension, Lizzie. xD

This happened in her flashback meaning it was before Lizzie unveiled her swordsmanship talent to Ciel. She attends fencing tournaments and based off of this panel we can assume that she has no problem with it by the way she cheerfully announces that she got a present for winning which supports my thought that she didn’t have a dilemma regarding herself and her strength all this time and didn’t need for Ciel to accept it to be comfortable with herself. She was already accepting of it. Her biggest concern in hiding her strength was the thought of Sirius hating her, even after all that time.

I’d also like to point out how happy she is getting that cute pair of shoes. :’) She definitely genuinely loves cute things with all her heart.

Lizzie literally asks him “You haven’t come to hate me?” which gives me another reason to think she kept her strength hidden due to a deep hope of ‘Please don’t hate me / I want you to see me as cute’ rather than an ‘accepting her strength’ issue. 

If that were the case I think asking “So it’s ok if I’m like this?” or something along those lines would better convey that she struggled with self-acceptance. I believe she never had that problem with herself, she just... reallllyy desperately wants him to like her? That’s what I’m getting from reading the manga at least lol. but that’s an unpopular opinion it seems? maybe i’m misunderstanding something..? 

(> - <)

I wonder if I’m just overlooking things and misinterpreting Lizzie’s character?

Edited On 10/5/17