#if i was with someone who was in to detrans

[needledreamweaversrpgideas]

fellow trans people who are remaining trans:

you will support detransitioners or you will die by my sword.

regardless of whether they're doing it temporarily or permanently. for safety or for a better understanding of themselves or out of boredom or bullying or any other reason. you will support them regardless of whether they're doing some fluid or multiple gender stuff and also being their original gender, or if they're fully wholly just cis again.

you WILL support people who detransition. for any and all reasons. or else

[yappacadaver]

that was a rude generalization to voice to you like that, that is false for the great majority of detrans people anyways. it's especially fucked up when you have never even implied any anti trans sentiment. I'm sorry people keep asking you that.

thanks anon but dw about me i'm fine x'D the whole fuckin world is burning, but ty for recognizing what an ignorant that last anon was

and for anyone who's curious abt me outside of the moral nitpicking, those who know me in my real life know me as having a friend group of mostly trans people, know me as extremely gnc, and likely think i'm a trans woman which is an assumption i have never once attempted to combat. my longtime followers know me as someone who believes in freedom of expression over everything, who has near constantly posted about man pussy, and has financially and morally supported my trans friends online. I know myself to be someone who has completed a medical transition, who has voted against the current fascist government, and who has no ill will towards trans people.

regardless of what other detrans people say, i wish we would end this guilt by association madness. Oh you have five fingers on each hand? you know who else does? most transphobes. gotcha.

[nuancefem]

i guess while you're studying the blade i shall protect dysphoric people in my humongous blanket full of secrets and treasures and awesome foreign snacks that i totally bought with real money

[mihai-florescu]

"no binaries" but you still believe there are only the options of being cis or trans...?

[pezpenser205]

the main reason i know im not femme in the slightest is bc i cant comprehend why anyone would Ever want to be feminine. i can understand neutral leaning fem, but the idea that people are born wanting to be feminine is appalling to me personally because femininity always felt like imprisonment and torture. it was and still is a restraint. a training weight i was forced to bear. i cant fully empathize or understand anyone who wants to be more feminine because i have never and will never want to be more feminine out of anything other than pressure or insecurity. im most comfortable being gender neutral, hairy and disgusting in old gym shorts and stained tshirts no matter how much insecurity it causes me. i dont care. im never dressing up all pretty for anyone elses benefit ever again. and i assume this is how people who want to be feminine feel about masculinity to some extent. if thats the case im super glad we could trade because holy moly

[mygenderisstillblurry]

I don't want to have to think about pronouns anymore. I don't want to tell people what pronouns to use for me. I don't want to worry about which ones are "correct". I don't want to worry about going out in public and making sure the people I'm with use pronouns that match the situation. I don't want to be referred to with pronouns! I just want to exist.

[snekdood]

when ppl are like "do u know ppl of x minority that ur still in contact with" as a gotcha ig to say ur not actually as open and progressive as you say you are but bud... i dont talk to anyone from my past, lmao, I dont think thats a fair metric to go by quite frankly

[rainsnires]

ok this is gonna be a lil bit of a ramble but egg culture fucking sucks dude

I see people like finnster joking about being "peer pressured into being trans" and his whole audience constantly misgendering him and spamming his chat with "egg moment haha" and all that while he's clearly uncomfortable and it's just so gross and invasive to see a GNC person and start insisting to them that they're really trans and just don't know it yet, they'll figure it out eventually, the closet is glass, et cetera.

Idk like really quick it starts to feel like a lot of people, cis or trans, aren't as chill with gender nonconformity as they claim to be. Is it really so hard to believe that a very feminine presenting person isn't a woman or a very masculine presenting person isn't a man? Or "at least" nonbinary? Why are we back to "girl long hair and makeup boy short hair and football"? Why is it acceptable to misgender me by continuing to use they/them pronouns after I've said my pronouns are she/her? When I break it down, I feel like egg culture really just becomes thinly veiled garden variety transphobia and homophobia. It comes down to "if you're REALLY a man/woman, why do you look/sound like that?"

And obviously the big issue is that terfs and conservatives tend to LEAP on this kind of thing, which is frustrating to someone like me, more or less cisgender and very GNC, because stories like mine are so so often used to discredit and harm trans people and so I have to be careful where and how I share my experiences to prevent that from happening. Like yes, I identified as trans for a while and now mostly don't, but that doesn't mean I regret my physical transition (hell i'm still on T and don't plan to stop, and top surgery is one of the single best things i've done for my quality of life ever) and it doesn't mean people can use my story as a weapon to tell people they don't know who they are. In either direction, whether that's telling a GNC cis person they're really trans or telling a trans person they're really cis. Just believe people when they tell you who they are, and let them learn and grow at their own pace, in their own way.

[werewolfbneimitzvah]

I get so tired of people saying that underage people are too young to transition in terms of taking hormones or that even the younger adult years might be too young. Turns out your body naturally does irreversible things to itself if left alone even though you're supposedly too young to know what your gender is. But apparently it's evil or abusive or irresponsible to replace those irreversible effects with different irreversible effects. Or even just make them happen slightly later so kids have more time to really think about which irreversible effects they want. No, the only moral choice is to force one kind of irreversible effect on kids and not allow there to be any choice at all ever. Making that potentially wrong choice for them is somehow the only good option. Farquaad-ass "some of you may die, but it's a sacrifice i am willing to make."

[technicolorxsn]

eugh

[butchviking]

"detransitioned terf" is like so redundant anyway bc theres almost no way to even be detransitioned and not get called a terf lol

[feferipeixes]

vent

[electriccenturies]

Okay, so the other day I was talking about how there's two "detransition" subreddits, right? One that's unfortunately full of never-transitioned transphobes, and one that has practically zero detrans people because it so aggressively prioritizes the feelings of trans people over the feelings of detrans people (for a long time they didn't even have any detrans mods, if that gives you a clue of why this subreddit exists in the first place).

I can't really handle either of them these days, so I usually just Avoid, but some people on twitter were making fun of a post on the second ("good") one, and I really had something to say to the OP so I went and replied... and I think it's SO. TELLING. that of the replies, mine was the only one from a detransitioned person... and mine was also the only one the OP responded to (and said it was helpful).

I say this all to point out how strange and sick it is that hurting, questioning trans people get pointed to this "good" and "virtuous" resource that WILL NOT HELP THEM AT ALL, and does not even have the primary goal of helping them! It certainly happened to me.

This person specifically was posting about how they want to dress feminine all of a sudden and are starting to think that they just feel too fat to be pretty, not actually that they don't want that... and if I hadn't happened to see other people being mean about it, the only advice this person struggling with body image would have gotten would be to "embrace femininity" by waxing, wearing makeup, and dressing for their body... which is not actually addressing what they're saying!

Instead of what they actually WANTED to be told, which was that those feelings have nothing to do with gender, so dressing differently, or trying to be seen as pretty, will never solve them.

This isn't about me or any other detransitioner being in the right place at the right time, though — it's about the fact that I *don't* like to go on this subreddit, and neither do any detrans people I know who have feelings more Complicated than just "I'm glad I tried it". There's few opportunities for our knowledge to mix. That is why there need to be real, facilitated detrans support groups — preferably irl — where people can discuss (unfortunately) taboo ideas like mental illness causing dysphoria, and the possibility that some of us (unconsciously) transitioned as a coping mechanism.

[moroserebis]

theres something so crazy about someone who wasnt on hormones, and never got surgeries, and wasn’t socially trans at all / for prolonged periods of time saying theyre detrans.