#if i was bullied it was through manipulative mind games that i have yet to fully unpack

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

Old Scars, New Blood 5

Warnings: this fic will include dark content such as dubcon/noncon, manipulation, borderline bullying, and other possible triggers. My warnings are not exhaustive, enter at your own risk.

This is a dark!fic and explicit. 18+ only. Your media consumption is your own responsibility. Warnings have been given. DO NOT PROCEED if these matters upset you.

Summary: Reader has accepted that she’ll never be wanted, not only by the man she’s crushed on for years, but by anyone. That is until a new player enters the game. (f!, short!reader)

Character: Lloyd Hansen, Thor Odinson

Note: I hope you all have a great day.

As per usual, I humbly request your thoughts! Reblogs are always appreciated and welcomed, not only do I see them easier but it lets other people see my work. I will do my best to answer all I can. I’m trying to get better at keeping up so thanks everyone for staying with me <3

Your feedback will help in this and future works (and WiPs, I haven’t forgotten those!)

Love you all. Take care. 💖

The rest of the drive is spent in silence, at least on your end. Lloyd chews loudly, licking his chops, and sucking his fingers loudly. The rose tint is tinged gray.

You pull into the compound and shift into park sharply. You don't move as you wait for Lloyd to get out. He wastes no time ditching you, letting out a shameless belch as he drops down onto the ground. The door snaps shut behind him and you huff.

You look over at the garbage left in his place. That's exactly where you belong. Right there with the trash.

You swipe up the crumple bag filled with wrappers and his half-finished soda. The keys jingle against the paper cup as you swipe your phone out behind you. You dump what's left of the espresso from your own cup and sheath it around the other.

You elbow the door shut and cross the dark grounds. The moon is a sliver that offers little light in the dark. You approach the doors and enter to the muted ruckus of voices and clinking bottles. Yet another night of debauchery. You don't know how Lloyd hasn't fallen right in with his guests.

You go to the kitchen and jam the bag and cups deep in the bin. You have half the mind to go through the fridge and get rid of all those meals you slaved over. Just like everything else, he'll spit it back in your face.

You flip open the door and stop yourself. No, no, he got the reaction he wanted, you're only shooting your own foot at this point. 

Your eyes center on a dark bottle with a silver label. Fuck it. You snatch the prosecco and swing the fridge shut.

You march back down the hall and ignore the din that seeps through from the dining room and various other doorways. You go upstairs to your room and close yourself in, letting the wood slam into the frame. You're not even mad at him, you're furious at yourself. Why can't you just accept it?

You drop the keys on the dresser, your phone too, and keep the bottle in hand. You untwist the wire around the cork and toss it aside. You push with your thumb until it pops and a fizzle escapes the long neck. 

You watch the wisp that rises and you gulp straight from the bottle. You cringe as your eyes water from bubbles and the stringently sweet wine floods your mouth. You gulp until you can't anymore. A quarter of the bottle down, you plunk it on the nightstand and let it sink into your veins.

You undress lazily and leave your clothes on the floor. You don't give a fuck. For one night, you just don't want to think. Hell, if you drink enough, you might just do something real stupid.

You grab the bottle and carry it into the bathroom. As you bend over to twist the faucet, the wine creeps into your brain, hazing your vision in warmth. You pull the lever for the stopper and slowly push yourself straight.

You lean on the porcelain and take another swig. You pop your mouth off the rim and lift one leg, then the other. You ease into the tub, splashing slightly as the water flows higher and higher.

You lean your head back, resting the bottle against the edge as you grip it tight. The ripples around you and beneath the skin and numb the ache in your chest. You close your eyes, drinking without thinking, guzzling until your stomach is full and the tub is nearly full.

You lay as you are, basking in the heat of the water. You could fall asleep right there. Just drift beneath the surface.

That thought jerks you awake. You sit up, dizzy, and get to your knees clumsily. You reach over the side to clunk the bottle onto the tile. You flip the stopper and lift yourself.

You get out, feet crashing onto the bathmat. You cling to the tub and take a breath. You reach for the bar and drag the towel off. You don't feel too bad, just a bit unsteady.

You wrap yourself up and teeter as you bend to grab the bottle. You clamber towards the door. You nudge it all the way open with your elbow.

As you enter the room, you stagger to a halt. You don't expect the figure sitting on your bed, watching you enter as he faces the bathroom door. You blink and squeeze the bottle tighter. 

You're buzzed. No, you're drunk.

You skin singes with self-awareness. Not only of the alcohol that dulls your mind but of the single piece of fabric around you.

“It's not healthy to drink alone,” Thor grins, a paper crinkles between his fingers, “or other things.”

He shows the slip of paper and you shake your head. He clicks his tongue and squints at it, “didn't take you for a cherry girl.”

“Huh?” You tilt your head, confused until you recall hastily hiding away the receipt in your pants. Fuck.

“I don't really use lube myself. Don't need it,” he reaches to drop the paper on the night table.

“What are you…” you clamp your lips shut as a hiccup rises. You swallow it and sway. 

“I don't make promises I don't keep, “ he stands, towering over you as he comes closer.

“You… it was a joke, wasn't it?” You babble dumbly.

“Why would I joke about that?” He stops before you and wraps his hand around the bottle, “mm, not much for bubbly,” he wiggles it free and swiftly empties what's left before examining the empty bottle, “how was your little business trip, eh?”

You frown and cross your arms over the top of the towel, “why are you here?” You ask again.

“I told you–”

“No, why… why did you come here? He hates you.”

“I got that sense of him,” Thor chortles, “doesn't bother me much.” He backs away and sets the bottle on the receipt, “I'm here to play with him. Have a bit of fun. However, he's not as amusing as I hoped. But you…”

“I…” you shake your head, “I'm drunk. I need to lay down.”

“Happily,” he winks as he reaches for you.

You sidle away, “please, I…” you swallow and your eyes flit around, “I can't–”

“Because of him? You’re wasting your time,” he latches onto your hand and draws it away from your chest, “he doesn't deserve you, little lamb.”

“I don't… it isn't because of him…”

“You're a poor liar,” he tuts, “shouldn't take your lessons from him.”

“Stop,” you try to tug away.

“You don't know what you need,” he drags you towards the bed, “it isn't him.”

“Please,” you whimper.

“You don't need to be nervous, I can be nice, kitten,” he purrs as he yanks you against him.

“I can't–” you squeak into a yelp as the towel falls away from your body, “Thor, please–”

“Louder,” he swiftly picks you up with his hands on your ass. 

You writhe against him as he spins and falls with you onto the mattress. It bounces under you and you nearly choke on your tongue. You slap his chest as he leans over you and smothers your mouth with his.

You close your eyes as they tingle and you dig your nails into the fabric of his shirt. You whimper and feel around with your other hand as he kneads your ass. You're overcome by his brusqueness. More so, you can't handle the touch, the way his hot breath consumes you, and that flicker on your core that has the vision of another flashing in your mind.

You turn your head and let out a croak as your tears leak out, “I can't,” you whine, “you're right, okay? I want him. I'm a stupid girl that wants someone like him.”

You bring your hand up to shield your face as he lifts himself on his elbow. He hovers over you as you devolve into sobs, “I'm pathetic.”

“Shhhh,” the soft stroke along your cheek startles you, “little kitty,” he slithers, “shhh.”

He shifts and comes down to his side. He slips his arm under your neck as you curl up, trying to disappear. He rolls you towards him so your face is against his shoulder. He pets your head as he holds you.

“Oh, little one,” he cooes, “it hurts now… but I can make it so much better.”

He stays like that, embracing you as you quake in your despair. You keep your face buried against his shirt as his thick muscles fill you with a sense of security. His other hand rests on your hip but does not wander.

Heaviness drapes over you and your body slowly slackens. The wine dulls your nerves and swirls in your head. You feel yourself spiraling and quickly fade into the void.

❤️‍🩹

Your brow twitches and your nose itches. You nearly smack yourself as you throw your hand up and groan. The effort makes you wince.

Ugh, hungover. It's been a while.

You bend your leg and the blanket falls away to uncover your naked thigh. You frown and peek down as you lift the blanket. No clothes. You blanch and lay back, trying to summon the memories of the previous night.

The buzzing of the shower draws your attention away from your internal search. Along with the thrum is the deep baritone singing a song you've never heard. You blink, long and hard, and push yourself up.

Your heart feels as if it's stopped beating. Your breath catches and you look around the room. There's clothing hung over the chair in the corner. Men's clothes.

Oh god.

You wouldn't…

As the melody carries, slightly offkey, you recognise the singer. Thor. Oh. Oh no.

You curl your fingers against the mattress, barely able to hold yourself up. You remember the bath and then him waiting and him on top of you but everything else is gone. How can you not remember? 

A pit plunges down to your stomach. No, you're not like that. You've held out all these years…

Well, how many chances did you really get?

The shower cranks off and you gulp, hugging the blanket against your chest as you sidle around to the edge of the bed. You can hear him moving around, humming. You don't know what to do.

As the door opens, you try to think of what to say. Hi, good morning, what the heck happened last night?

You're speechless as he emerges butt naked. Brazen as he has himself on full display. Full display.

You snap your mouth shut as he uses a towel to dry his hair and winks as he drops it down to wrap his waist. 

“Morning, kitten,” he growls, “you seem chipper.”

You try to talk but can only cough. You reach to touch your throat and rub the lump free, “Thor, what… last night…” your voice cracks with each syllable.

“Ha, you think we…” he lets the suggestion dangle and scoffs.

You nod. Of course, he's all bluster. He wouldn't actually want you.

“When it happens, you will remember it,” he taunts, “I like to build up to sleep fucking.”

Your jaw falls open, “Thor…”

“Besides, if anything had happened, you would remember it.”

“I…” you flutter your lashes, “I should–”

“Well here you are,” he knots the towel around his waist, “lucid…”

“...get dressed,” you complete your previous threat.

You stand but he blocks you easily. He catches your shoulders and urges you back. Your legs hit the mattress and you sit, unable to fight his strength.

“Now?” You squeak.

He rumbles with laughter as his hands trail down your arms, “just a taste. To pep me up for the day.”

“Uhhh,” your voice rolls out senselessly as his hand crawls over the blanket and he tugs it. You cling to it desperately. 

He snarls and yanks up the bottom, tossing it over his head as he seizes your thighs beneath. You yelp as he bows and pulls your legs apart. You lose hold of the blanket and it rumples at your waist as you catch yourself on the heels of your hands.

You wriggle and try to resist him as his head pokes up beneath the blankets. He has you leaning back on your arms as he pulls your legs over his shoulders. You lift a hand and slap his head as you realise what he's about to do.

Too late.

Your hand falls against his head as his hot breath tingles along your thighs. His cool tongue slips between your folds and you gasp, electricity coursing through you. Oh!

You let out a pathetic noise as you push futilely on his head, still writhing as he nuzzles further into you. His large tongue spreads wide and he flicks it up over your clit. You spasm and yipe in surprise at another zing.

“Thor,” you breathe.

He pulls back for just an instant, “louder, kitten, can't hear you under here.”

He dives back in and the bed bounces as you jolt. You try to smack him again but only urge him. You gasp and quiver helplessly, toes curling and legs tingling. What do you do?

Oh god, what can you do? This is better than any toy you got hidden in your nightstand. This is an actual man. It's real and it feels so good.

He wraps his arms around your legs and rips you down onto your back as he lifts your pelvis higher. He hums into you and it ripples up to your chest. You hiss and slap the bed as lay defeated.

“Ohhhhh,” you drone out as you succumb to the delightful swirls.

He growls and your breath hitches. He turns his head, just for a moment, and nips your thigh, “louder…”

You mewl and utter his name. It's as much a plea for him to keep going as it is for him to stop. He laps at you again and you cry out. That seems to fuel his fervour as he suckles at you eagerly. 

Your voice rises without your permission. Your whines burst from you as you claw at the blanket and squirm. You can't hold back. It's more than just that moment, it's years of waiting, of wanting.

You don't care that it's not who you wanted. You don't care if anyone else hears. You can't think straight enough for any of that as you call out Thor’s name, bucking your hips desperately into an orgasm.

[ashensgrotto]

Weren't You Aware, Angelfish?

Characters: Yandere!Azul x GN! Reader

Summary: You think it's a game, but it's much more than that…

Word Count: 3k

Author's Notes: A little background on this one; I actually really got into the Octavinelle Trio when the Little Mermaid event (which ran during third week of May in 2023) was going on following the live action film being released in theaters. At the time, I was also about midway through the "Merchant of the Depths" and was laughing at myself for the irony of participating in an event that matched the story I was reading. And I even received Azul’s SSR dorm card in the mirror summoning as well. 

Either way, I had come across a few head cannons and short stories of if the characters were actually aware of themselves being in a game and thought I'd take my own spin on it with Azul (I know there's a lot of these ones for this character - but you have to admit, the guy's got style).

Warnings: Obsession/manipulative behaviors, some bullying elements, self-aware

***This one is a softer Yandere than what I've done recently***

***

"Oh, hey guys."

Azul blinked in surprise as a pair of (e/c) eyes peered out at him and the twins from under strands of (h/c).

It was the Ramshackle dorm prefect - and yet it wasn't.

Azul knew that he, among many others, were mere characters in a game called "Twisted Wonderland" - a battle simulation game that followed the stories of seven famous villains from a strange land called "Disney." The main character of the game was a character by the name of "Yuu," but each player had selected to choose a different name for their character depending upon their preferences and personalities - though Azul could never be certain if it was their real name or not.

This one just happened to go by the name (Y/C).

(Y/C) had appeared before them around a month ago, Azul had remembered a droning voice on speakers as the player before them shifted on a seat of metal, thier eyes looking towards the screen then away again before they closed the game. The other characters had been confused by it - usually a player would stay for a bit and work on the stories or do lessons when they first started. (Y/C), however, was shifty and nervous - they reminded Azul of a mouse that scuttled across the floors of the Ramshackle dorm, constantly stopping and looking around before continuing on its way. 

However, as things progressed, Azul quickly learned that (Y/C) was indeed a diligent player. 

He would hear them laugh at Ace and Deuce’s antics, mumble under their breath when they knew something was going to happen, and gap at each of the overblots as they happened. Azul quickly became interested in the player, moving to the front scenes as his turn to take the spotlight appeared. As they worked through his story, he found them to be… well, quite like him. They were crafty and cunning, all smiles and false confidence - a show they put on when they weren't alone. People fell for their charms like prey to an angular fish, their bright light luring them in until they snapped them up as per their job required. However, they struck good bargains with them - something that Azul had… never invested in.

Now, there was a special event that he and the tweels would be a part of - a special event for a revised film inspired by the life of the Great Sea Witch.

Azul looked on as (Y/C) shifted through the cards in thier possession, having selected Floyd first. They had received his dorm card about two weeks prior to the event, their excitement to raise its stats apparent in the forefront of thier mind. They filled the class, selecting Jade’s ceremonial robes card as well as Azul’s ceremonial robes card along with Cater and Rook's dorm uniform cards before heading into the class with Floyd with Azul watching on in curiosity.

"Something on your mind, Azul?" Jade asked him from his doorway, "You seemed to be watching our magicless prefect a bit more than normal."

Azul regarded his vicewarden with an arched brow, "Jade, I have no idea what you are talking about."

Jade smiled, his teeth peering out from behind his lips, “Azul, forgive me, but if I didn’t know any better… I’d say you were jealous.”

“Jealous?” Azul scoffed with a wave of his hand, “Who said anything of the sort?”

Jade crossed an arm around his middle as his other arm rested on top, his forefinger and thumb stroking his chin in thought, “Not that it makes any difference, but I’ve noticed you’ve been keeping quite a close eye on our player - quite the character, are they not?”

Azul shrugged, “I suppose so…”

“I bet you haven’t given a thought to knowing them outside of the game, though.”

Azul turned at the comment, his sea green eyes glowing with mischief as a tell-tale smile formed across his lips, “My dear Jade, have you and Floyd been up to something?”

Jade smiled in agreement, “Of course we have… would you like to hear?”

“I would indeed. Tell me what you know.”

Jade uncrossed his arms and folded his hands into his pockets, “Our player has only been playing for about a month, as you know well - and has obviously cleared three books of our game within that time frame. They like a good gamble here and there, but they understand when there’s a time for fun and a time for work - something you should learn in my opinion.”

“Yes, yes,” Azul waved his hand, “Whom is their current favorite?”

“It varies from day to day - though (Y/C)’s profile indicates that it is currently Malleus Draconia,” Jade answered, “However, based on their world… they do have a fascination for sea creatures.”

Azul frowned, “Their world?”

Jade nodded, “Every so often we’re given a glimpse of the player’s real world - their reality. (Y/C) currently lives with an ailing father and a mother that is trying to hold everything together. They’re a full time student in what they call ‘high school’ and works at a family restaurant part time as a waitress. They like spending time on social media, reading when not with us, and does a bit of sewing from my understanding.”

Azul rubbed his chin in thought, “Do they… play other games?”

“Several - (Y/C) has a very high social media presence and has been gaining followers over the course of several years, speciallizing in strategic battle games and, apparently, even romance games,” Jade answered, “However… (Y/C)’s very shy and keeps to themselves quite a bit. From my understanding, they’re not exactly… well-liked by the other students at the school they attend. (Y/C) often eats alone and prefers the company of fictional characters or those online to those in their world.”

“Not well-liked? (Y/C)’s well-liked here!” Azul answered in confusion.

“Perhaps, but we all eventually become attached to our player - they’re the star of their own story here, after all,” Jade agreed, “And (Y/C)’s practically the same in their world - kind, supporting, caring… but is an outcast.”

“Care to explain why?”

Jade shakes his head, “I wish I could tell you, Azul - but even I am not certain why that is.”

Azul squeezed his lips in thought before turning to Jade, “Is there a way we can dig into more about our player?”

“There might be something within the profile, but a chance at looking into the outside world? That is a one in a million chance of happening. I was given a glance when (Y/C) was using me for a battle - but it was very short. The rest of the information I gathered was from other characters - specifically Cater who has been with them the longest. You know how he will speak for a chance at gaining more followers.”

Azul chuckled with a smile, “Excellent work, Jade. For the time being, I’d like to find out as much as you can about our player - Floyd, if he’s in the mood, will probably want to know more about ‘shrimpy’ as well, get him in on the search too. Though, I suppose we can only do what we can for right now…”

***

In the days that followed, (Y/C) was consistently in the Octorio’s presence. As they met each requirement the Octavinelle Training Camp event gave them, (Y/C) beat every battle they were given and took in the rewards with vigor; their method was simple - they finished all of Floyd’s tasks before closing the game, reopening it the following day with fresh eyes and ready for the challenges that awaited them and selected Jade as their next partner. Azul watched from the sidelines as each task was completed and battle won; it was strange to hear how (Y/C) would always keep the trio together, Azul stuck in between the tweels as they switched spots. However - Azul couldn’t be completely disappointed in them; after all, (Y/C) did invite him to attend each lesson with them and the tweels. 

So why was it so hard for him to not feel this… jealous anger that was slowly rising with him? It wasn't like they were anything interesting - the only thing they had in common, maybe, was the fact that (Y/C) was business-minded - even for a high schooler. 

Azul pinched the bridge of his nose as cards of various characters floated across the screen; Floyd... Vil... Epel... Malleus... Trey... All of them appeared across the screen over and over like turbulant waves on the shorelines - yet none of them were of him. (Y/C) flipped through the cards again, their (e/c) eyes hard with determination.

"One last roll," Azul heard them say, "I have enough for a chance encounter - please let it be one I don't have."

The music played as the dark mirror appeared again, "Bearer of dark powers, I call thee forth!"

Azul could practically feel (Y/C) vibrating with anticipation as clacks echoed in the small area that was their bedroom. Jade... Floyd... Vil... Sebek... Idia... Malleus... Lilia... Rook...

"You're so lucky to have met a compassionate person like me..."

Azul's voice stuck in his throat as (Y/C) squealed in delight, "AZUL! Oh my GOD! I have your CARD!"

And indeed they had gotten it - Azul's SSR dorm card flashed across the screen with the octomer perched in a leather chair, Jade and Floyd just behind him with the sea witch's familiar mirror in the background. Azul was vibrating with excitement - at long last, he was now in the spotlight, appearing before (Y/C) in his finely dressed dorm uniform. The octomer was beside himself with excitement as (Y/C) clicked back on the homescreen, scrolling through their cards and smiling as they found the newest addition.

"Azul..." they whispered so softly, "I'm so excited... I wasn't expecting this... not in the slightest. I hope that I don't disappoint - I'll get this leveled up and we'll work together, you and me."

'You could never disappoint me, angelfish,' Azul wanted to say as he felt something pull him to the front of the screen. He now stood in Ramshackle Dorm, front and center as the eyes of (Y/C) looked upon him, thier features brightening.

"Thank you so much, Azul," they grinned, a look of sheer awe and excitement taking root across their face, "I'm so glad to add you to the team."

***

The event ended far too quickly for Azul's liking, meaning that he could no longer work with his player one-on-one - at least until the next training camp. For now, Azul was content to use his days watching his player as he peered into their normal everyday life. 

Jade had not been lying when he told Azul about (Y/C)’s busy schedule - they awoke every morning at six on the nose, dressed and readied themselves for school - helping their mom with a few simple chores before heading out the door. (Y/C) was an intriguing student, using common sense to answer their professors’ questions and asking more in return - though Azul could hear snickering in the background and soft insults that were directed at his player. (Y/C) sat alone at lunch, the game open in front of them as they nibbled on a sandwich - keeping thier promise to level up Azul's card as they doodled in the notebook beside them. A few times, they would have a set of headphones in and would hum along with the music that would come through the speakers - making Azul strain to hear them. After school, (Y/C) would head over to one of the local restaraunts, changing into their work uniform and began the grunging job of serving guests. Azul listened as the clientel would call them over - some pleasant, others not so much; though he was surprised by (Y/C) ways of handling them, giving their best award-winning smile and working their way into their hearts to the point that they couldn't take it or dropped the subject entirely.

Day in and day out, Azul was there and listened to everything everyone told them; week after week, he saw the light slowly begin to fade from their eyes...

And by the time summer had come, (Y/C) was struggling - mentally and emotionally. Gone was the happy-go-lucky teen that Azul had slowly become attatched to, in their place was a saddened and heavy-burdened individual that sought the comfort of loniness - fictional characters were their only friends now.

One night, (Y/C) perched on their bed after a particularly rough day at work. Azul had seen one of the customers - another student that was prone to bullying (Y/C) in class - trip them while they were carrying a pot of hot soup to bring to the salad bar; regardless if it was intentional or unintentional, (Y/C) could have been seriously injured - burned from how hot the liquid was. Then, (Y/C)’s boss degraded them - telling them that if they weren't so stupid and watched where they were going, none of this would've happened; even though it was clearly not (Y/C)’s fault. When they got home, (Y/C)’s mother had to rush their father off to the hospital - something about his ailment suddenly turning for the worse and making (Y/C) now worried sick about their father's health - no longer caring about the injury they sustained and the pain they felt within. 

(Y/C) tapped the screen of the game, opening up and laying their phone against a box that sat on the bedside table, watching as Azul greeted them in his normal fashion.

"Helping people is what I live for. As housewarden, I will do everything to support my students," Azul smiled in greeting.

"I wish the same could be said for me," (Y/C) sighed, laying their head against the pillow as the music of the Mostro Lounge filled the background of the bedroom.

"Hm? And why do you think I wouldn't support you, angelfish?"

(Y/C) turned to look at their phone as Azul smiled. They rubbed thier face for a moment before muttering, "I must be more tired than I thought. I thought you just said something."

"I did, angelfish," Azul's voice came loud and clear as (Y/C)s' eyes widened, "I said, 'Why do you think I wouldn't support you?'"

(Y/C) blinked, "Y-you... talked. You can talk?"

"Of course I can talk," Azul answered, resting his hands on his hips in disappointment, "What makes you think that I wouldn't? We've talked before, after all."

"Y-yes... but that was scripted," (Y/C) rubbed their face again, "I must be dreaming - just some fantastical thing because of the stress and anger I've been experiencing lately."

"(Y/N), come now, you know that's not true."

"H-how do... you know my name?"

"I've been keeping an eye on you for some time, (Y/N)," Azul answered, "I know all about you - what you like and dislike, what your biggest fears and regrets are and what you wish for most in the world. I can offer that, you know."

"Offer what?" (Y/N) rubbed their face then, "Wait a minute... why am I even discussing this with you? You're a character in a game and I live in the real world - there's no way this is happening either - this is just the rambling of a stressed out lonely teenager who gets enjoyment out of playing a game and reading fanfictions."

"I assure you, this is no dream," Azul answered, "And you're not going to get rid of me that easily either."

(Y/N) frowned, "What do you mean? What did you do?"

"Simply enough - I hacked this phone," Azul admitted, "It took a bit to figure out the workings of it, but now you won't be able to do anything unless I give you my permission to do so."

"You... what?!" (Y/N) glared at Azul, "This is my only form of communication! My only way to be someone! I use this for school! Work! Why would you do that?"

"I admire your ability and drive, angelfish, I really do," Azul smiled wickedly, "However - 'real life,' as you call it, is keeping you from me. You were hurt today and have been stepped on over and over like a piece of gum on your school's cemented sidewalks. What I am willing to offer you, in exchange for your undivided attention that is, will allow you complete freedom from the outside world. You will never have to experience that sort of degration and torement again."

"And what about my friends? My family?" (Y/N) askes, "You think I'll sign my name on a contract of yours so willingly?"

"You did the first time around."

"That was scripted!"

"Angelfish," Azul's tone turned dark, "You really have no say in this. I know your family is struggling so I'll modify the contract, only for your sake though. As for your 'friends,' you really have none in that world - I have been with you for the past two months, constantly watching you and, yes, protecting you. You might not see it now, but you will in due time - besides we're the same age, are we not?"

"Close... maybe," (Y/N) admits.

"Then, what's the problem?" Azul folded his arms across his chest, "Sign the contract - and I will give you everything your heart desires."

The screen shifted as a familiar golden hue appeared on the screen.

"Here's the deal, Angelfish," Azul's voice appeared in the background, "In exchange for your undivided attention, I will grant you - and your family - the funds needed to help you both financially and comfort.  You and family will want for nothing and I will provide support you your ailing father. You will belong to me completely, and when such a time arrives that the two of us are old enough, we will be married."

(Y/N) looked over the contract on the screen, biting her lip.

"And you promise I will be able to stay with my family? Still see them when I want to?"

"Yes - it would be improper for the two of us to live together as I will need time to prepare for that event. However, you will not be able to tell anyone about this arrangement - unless you wish to lose your voice in the process."

"N-no thank you."

(Y/N) could practically see Azul's grinning features, "Then, Angelfish mine... sign on the dotted line. Let's embark on this new adventure... together, just you and me."

[ikamigami]

My thoughts on Eclipse

I understand that not everyone has to agree with me on this for various reasons. Also I'm not trying to condone Eclipse's abuse or bad actions. None of the things Eclipse went through justify the awful things he did - which I think that new version of Eclipse is aware of.

I think that OG Eclipse wanted to be better than Old Moon - better as a brother hence why the first thing he wanted to do upon meeting Lunar for the first time was to hug him.

Lunar ignored Eclipse then because he had games - this action hurt Eclipse so much because it reminded him of how it felt when he realized that he was abandoned by Old Moon.

I think that Eclipse was questioning why he slapped Lunar because he wanted to be better than Old Moon yet he did the exact same thing. But because he thinks that regret is a sign of weakness he decided to push these feelings away.

Also when Eclipse apologized - I think that Eclipse has a problem with sounding genuine when he apologizes because he doesn't want to seem weak so it results in the apology coming across as disingenuous.

I think that Eclipse didn't want to end up like Sun hence why he try so hard (too hard) to not be seen as weak.

Would OG Eclipse apologize to Lunar? I don't think so. Though I think that abusers can feel genuine remorse - Old Moon is good example of this yet he never apologized to Sun for all the shit he had done to him - and OG Eclipse is a parallel to Old Moon.

Also Old Moon also rarely apologized to Sun for his behaviour and even if he did it was coming across as disingenuous because he still continued to be abusive towards Sun.

We can argue if showrunners did a good job in showing that Eclipse cared but I digress because we see that now Eclipse is changing.

I think that Eclipse still was abusive towards Lunar more than that one slap. Lunar probably doesn't remember much things from that time in details due to trauma and death causing his memory issues.

I agree though that Lunar was too self-centered and that even if he saw exactly why Eclipse was the way he was he didn't do anything about it. Though it's dabatable if Lunar could've done more - it's not always that easy to say "yes" or "no" in these types of situation because it's not as "black and white" as people think.

Abuse in family is more often than not a very complicated matter.

I used to think that Eclipse is only manipulative and nothing more but I changed my mind upon seeing more of his perspective.

I sympathize with him but like I said I don't condone his actions and abuse. Though I don't want to force anyone to feel sympathy towards Eclipse. It's an individual thing.

Though like I said people are way dismissive to Old Moon's abuse towards Sun than to Eclipse's abuse towards Lunar.

Also Lunar doesn't have to forgive Eclipse and honestly I doubt that he will.

And slightly unrelated I like that new Eclipse is more understanding towards Sun hence why he tries to not be so mean to him and why he avoids him or at least that's what I think.

Slight rant under the cut

The only issue I have is that people were saying that they see that Eclipse cared and that he also suffers which turned out to be true later. Though majority of fans didn't see it like that at the time when it were just speculations.

But when I tried to explain that I see hints to Sun having depressive psychosis and being suicidal majority of fans didn't agree which is okay. But what's not okay is that some folks were bullying me for this and spreading lies about me.

And they say that show disproved my speculations about Sun with "Sun has a child" episode but the truth is that they not only didn't disprove anything which I already pointed out in my recent post about that episode but they also harmed not only me but also many other fans with mental issues as well by portraying Miku like that in that episode.

Also I don't like that people can freely relate to Eclipse and other characters but I apparently can't relate to Sun because I'll receive backlash for it.

I also don't like how Moon no matter old or new is always in the spotlight when Sun just gets mostly funny lore episodes.

Also I don't believe in Sun healing off-screen. And while I think that Sun is doing better compared to last year, I think that he's still not fine - he just either denies it or just tries not to worry others.

[alienoutsiderxeno]

BUG ME WITH UR INFODUMP OF UR OCS!!!!��💥💥💥💥

U can write it here or in dms i dont mind!! Whatever u feel comfortable to do!! I'd love to hear about them and also i'll be seeing stanley parable again to refresh memories and bcse one of ur ocs is inspired in the game. I remember it was good >:]

SHSJSJSNSJSJSJJSJSJSNSJSJSJN I'M GOING TO NUKE YOU WITH OC LORE!

I'm honestly glad you liked my Narrator sona. I honestly got inspired from thinking a Alice in Wonderland scenario to make Damien human before spicing him as a half centipede and half man. But completely omnipotent to run his parable.

Okay now I'll ramble with my TSP of lore.

Player:

• Player is what control Stanley and is the response to create the choices throughout the parable. Player goes She/They/It. They're curious yet a bit rebellious towards Damien from being expected to follow the script.

• Often has the mischief mindset to screw the Narrator over. Even if they had tried to break the game.

• Capable to appear in a silhouette to be disguised as Stanley's shadow, but over time Narrator became aware of their existence from the aftermath of one the endings. Now having to permanently reveal themselves to Damien. Being the reason why Stanley grew more rebellious through each Parable.

• Player is emotionally vulnerable at times to let Damien take over in certain routes. Surely they simply shrugged whatever insult tossed to them specifically at their choices. Even they spoke up for Stanley most of the times.

Stanley:

• Stanley was previously a quiet man who doesn't stand up to himself. Often listen to whatever instructions he has but order to follow. Rarely socialize to anyone before the office became empty. Mostly introverted to not bother himself with socializing. But with Player, he grew to become more vocal and bolder by the passing playthrough. Developing not just a bond, but his character growing throughout each experience.

• Stanley doesn't see Narrator eye to eye much when Player because involved. Being blamed on choices that weren't his control to begin with. He wasn't happy on the Apartment ending that he never had a wife or a relationship at all. Even if it was a harmless joke from Damien, it just rubbed him the wrong way for not having a potential and meaningful relationship.

• Stanley nationality is Welsh. His accent being more clear that people mistaken him as American. His most comedically phases would be "Mate, when did I piss in your bloody cereal?" Or "You sure this isn't the time for you being a twat, Damien?"

Damien/Narrator:

• Damien can manipulate his size to shrink and grow. He only grows in size to display his authority over anyone. But he does shrink whenever he is scared or caught off guard.

• His antennae does flutter whenever he's happy or having a moment of praise. He does have yellow arrows tattooed on his upper body, but it's covered by his blouse. Regardless of his size, he is extremely fast to catch up due to his centipede legs. Capable to rush over like a bullet train even if he struggled a little during tight turns. Damien does change his appearance from his usual omnipotence form to humanoid or pure centipede.

• Often been bullied by Player since he does slander Stanley for his own amusement. But it has been a harmless gag within the three.

• He actually enjoys playing Minecraft and Portal during his free time. Damien often play Minecraft in Peaceful mode to enjoy the experience. Has experienced since the Beta Era of Minecraft.

• Lonely yet is actually desperate for company to keep Stanley. Although knowing Player would log off from the game, leaving the Narrator having the chance to talk with him. The Narrator honestly doesn't like to admit that he can be a little clingy towards Stanley.

Their Dynamic:

• Surely they're not the most functional trio, but it's only through each playthrough or route that shed their moments little by little. Player not often trusting Damien to suspect it's just a trick to focus on the main route countless times. Stanley having to expose himself to trust Player's judgement on their choices, even if it resulted his death or worse. Damien needed to understand the Player's purpose to explore and uncover new routes to proceed the game. Each has their own flaws, only time will tell on who is willing to reveal their vulnerable side first.

Mini doodle to show my appreciation for your kind words, Dino.

[thebrisingamen]

ROTI Pokemon

More Crossover stuff, for Revenge of the island. I only did them as Pokemon, I didn't do teams as that project was already difficult enough with the TDI/TDA/WT cast, adding in Alejandro and Sierra made over 20+ teams.

Under the cut!

I realize I forgot two important people!!

Chris McLean, The Host

As A Pokemon: Raichu. Why Raichu? Usually the hosts of these shows are people that were heartthrobs or B List Actors from years ago, their golden years behind them. So they host game shows instead. Raichu, being the evolved form of the mascot pokemon, gets less love.

It can also get aggressive if it stores too much electricity and anime depictions do show Raichu as often kind of a bully, much like how Chris can be. As for his team, I think a lot of his team would be more scheming, crafty pokemon.

Chef Hatchet, The Chef

As A Pokemon: Machamp, obviously. Fairly powerful, and somewhat grumpy, a Machamp suits Chef. His team would mostly be fighting types, though I think he'd probably somehow end up with a fairy type near the later seasons.

Anne Maria, The Jersey Shore Reject

Once again, a very very basic one-joke, one-note character. But here you go!

As A Pokemon: Mareanie, as appearance wise the "hair" profile is similar and being poison type could tie in with how the Jersey Shore make up and hairspray is "toxic" to other people. I believe her team would be more poison types and kind of "fashionable" to her at least.

B(everly), The Strong, Silent Genius

Since he doesn't talk but still has more character than some, his pokemon was easy.

As a Pokemon: Dragonite, as it is very shy, surprisingly strong and agile for its build and one of the most intelligent non-psychic type pokemon. Dragonite has also been shown in the show to rarely vocalize too much. B would probably have a team that was built to handle anything, with good type combos to lessen super-effective moves against his team.

Brick, The Cadet

As a Pokemon: Growlithe. Growlithe is famously shown to be basically part of the Officer Jenny K-9 Units, extremely loyal and ready to throw itself into danger. Brick is still fairly young and a bit inexperienced, which is why he is not yet an Arcanine. His team would probably be mostly doglike pokemon

Cameron, The Wide-Eyed Bubble Boy

As a Pokemon: Reuniclus, obviously. Surrounded by a protective liquid/bubble, incredibly smart and manipulates this bubble to be physically strong with only its mind? That'd be Cameron in a nutshell. He'd probably train mostly psychic type pokemon, and maybe have a few pokemon that are a bit too curious for their own good, like him.

Dakota, The Fame-Monger

As A Pokemon: Shiny Lopunny, for exactly the reasons you think. She's in-universe pretty, Lopunny is described as extremely conscious about its appearance and being shiny reflects her "wealth" status. Of course, she would later probably be in Mega Lopunny form to reflect her mutation later on in the series. Her team would probably start out as normal & pretty, before turning into poison types, I think, to showcase her transformation.

Dawn, The Moonchild

As A Pokemon: Galarian Ponyta; able to see into people's hearts and hide away if it senses evil, and has the traditional unicorn ability to heal people. Being a Psychic Type, it can also be just as unsettling as it is beautiful, so very much suited for Dawn. Her team would be Psychic and Fairy type pokemon.

Also probably would be a Fairy or Psychic type Gym Leader, who tests your conviction through battle.

Jo, The Take-No-Prisoners Machine

As A Pokemon: Scrafty, because its rather rude, crass and territorial but it is a good fighter and does care about its friends, perfect fit for Jo. Also, as Jo is willing to do anything to win, the Dark/Fighting type combo works for her, and would be the theme of her team.

Lightning, The Athletic Overachiever

As A Pokemon: Zebstrika, for obvious reasons; Electric type, incredibly fast, and described as ill-tempered and volatile, calling back to Lightning's mercurial nature.

Mike, The Main One

I made up my own title because I don't like TD's title for him. He's at least not the worst DID depiction, and the creators said they'd probably write him better today--but it still boils down to, they used a mental health diagnosis for a one-joke character, which is not cool.

But Mike is an interesting character. It should surprise no one that Mike as a Pokemon would be:

Dodrio was my original choice, as Hydrapple didn't exist when I made this list. Ultimately, Mike is a Dodrio as Dodrio is 3 birds in one body, and Hydrapple is just 7 Flapples living in one apple, which isn't it's body. Dodrio makes more sense. Mike's team would reflect each of his alters, including Mal. So he'd have the next most well rounded team, to be honest.

Sam, The Nice Guy Gamer

As A Pokemon: Rotom, as it loves to possess other forms of electronics and becomes your pokedex in later games. Perfect for discount Seth Rogan who plays games. Electric types, obviously

Scott, The Devious

As A Pokemon: Lycanroc, Dusk Form. Perfect for Scott, who has been implied to be a dirt/rock farmer, which Lycanroc fits, and Dusk type is a mix of Midnight and Midday forms. Plus it's orange, like his hair. Being calm with a hidden temper and a difficult to raise/train pokemon according to its dex entries, this also fits Scott as he became better in All-Stars. Lots of his pokemon would be ground/rock/dark types, which matches his rivalry/fear of Fang, the Shark.

Staci, The Compulsive Liar

As A Pokemon: Chatot. Staci doesn't stop talking and Chatot cannot shut up. Her pokemon would all be deceptive in someway (Zorua, Ditto) or constantly making noise (Chatot)

Zoey, The Indie Chick

As A Pokemon: Cubone, eventually evolving into a Marowak. Zoey was alone a lot, like Cubone is said to be in the Pokedex. Cubone, being lonely, cannot do much on its own. As Zoey makes friends, she finds her strength and evolves near the end of ROTI, into an extremely competent Marowak. Her team would probably be underestimated pokemon, that if trained correctly, can be pretty useful in their own rights.

[aajjks]

BC!JK

“GO JUNGKOOOOOOOK!!!!” you yell as the teams scores again. you’re so happy to see jungkook playing his heart out on the field and although you’re still embarrassed about him blowing a kiss at you, you’re still impressed by his skills and glad he found motivation to see this game through.

“team blue has called for a timeout” the announcer says and as both teams huddle, you notice jungkook stealing glances at you but your view of him is cut short by soojin.

“hey, y/n. you look cute” she says and you awkwardly say thank you to the nice compliment but you can’t help but feel a little curious as to why soojin is talking to you.

she usually doesn’t pay you any mind in school and you’re sure she didn’t want to compliment your outfit. not when she’s looking twice as better in your opinion.

“he’s killing it isn’t he?”

“he is doing pretty good. never thought he’d be so good at soccer”

“me either but i guess that’s what love makes you do right?”

love?

“don’t tell me you didn’t know?”

“know what?”

“eunwoo likes you, silly”

eunwoo?

“you thought i was talking about jungkook, huh?”

“n-no. i just…yeah, i guess i did”

“you must like him”

“as a friend!”

“well you shouldn’t befriend people like him, y/n. he’s your bully remember? girl, he literally wanted me to seduce eunwoo so you’d lose interest in him-OOPS! did i say too much?”

“what did you just say?” you stand up and disbelief is written all over your face.

“jungkook told you to seduce him?”

“yeah”

“jungkook wouldn’t say that. he-he wouldn’t do that”

“but he did. if i seduced him then we’d get to fuck one last time before he commits to you. that’s what we agreed to but i know you like eunwoo a lot and it wouldn’t be right for me to not tell you the truth. stay away from him, y/n i’m telling you. he’s no good for you” is the last thing soojin says before she’s heading back to her seat leaving you with your thoughts.

you don’t know whether to believe her or not because you want to hear jungkook’s side in all of this but why do you feel like you were expecting this to happen??

i mean, you are a nerd, a loser in his terms so why did you really think he’d like you? why would he like you?

when jungkook looks at you, you give a smile or try to give him an ‘i’m okay’ look and once the game is over, you leave. you don’t even bother to talk to jungkook because you feel like a fool coming here all dressed up to impress someone who basically tried to manipulate his way into your heart and then screw the girl he claimed was plastic.

you feel silly and embarrassed. if this is how everyone is going to treat your fragile heart then you’d rather be left alone.

“i really wish i had a car” you say to yourself as you keep walking back home.

meanwhile at the stadium, jungkook is searching high and low for you only to find soojin who confesses to telling you everything.

“i told her everything and now she probably hates you” she smirks.

“if i can’t have the one i love then neither can you”

Jungkook grits his teeth, seething with rage and long gone is the sweet taste of victory in his mouth, all that’s left is the bitterness of losing you.

“YOU FUCKIN BITCH!” Jungkook pants out, cursing at soojin who is smirking at him, only breeding his anger more and more, so Jungkook screams loudly before he pushes her so hard that she falls to the ground. “I WILL KILL YOU.” he spits at her not caring about the way People gasp at his rude behavior.

People are definitely surprised by his sudden anger because he should be really happy right now, but yet he feels murderous. “YOU DUMB BITCH.” Before he can even comprehend his actions. He’s laughing like crazy.

He���s laughing so hard that it hurts his stomach, “I-I’ll get her back- but you’ll never have the one you claim to love so much.” And he doesn’t even look back at her before he’s turning to run.

He’s running so fast so he can find you, but you’re nowhere in the school… and it hits him. That’s why you looked so sad when he was glancing at you during the game.

Soojin.. that fucking bitch.

He doesn’t really know what to do right now because you’re not in the school that’s for sure because he’s looked everywhere like crazy and nobody knows where you went.

And of course, your friend isn’t here at school today so he’s literally clueless. But the thing is that you must’ve went home.

… this is so fucked up because he wanted to spend some time with you and.. he was so close to taking your heart, but soojin had to ruin it all.

All this time he was so focused on thinking that eunwoo was his enemy when it was not him, it was soojin all along. Jungkook wants to punch the wall… he wants to punch someone but he can’t.

He has to fix this and he will at any cost, Jungkook quickly goes to his locker room, and he takes out his phone, frantically dialing your number- he’s called you so many times but you’re not picking up.

God knows what she told you.

“FUCK!” he punches the locker, just then his friends are coming, calling out his name, and trying to get his attention, but he doesn’t really respond to them before he’s Going into the shower, taking off his clothes maybe he will calm down a little so he can face you,

This victory was not worth it at all.

It was all for nothing.

The cold water of the shower hits his bare skin & he’s still angry, he has to hurry up so he can figure out a way to reach you,

But the thing is that he doesn’t know your address and you’re not picking up his phone. “fuckin whore.” he curses out soojin again.

All heartbroken and sad, naked in the shower.

[justsomeoneintoomanyfandoms]

Hello! May I request a match up for Honkai Star Rail and Tears of Themis? Thank you in advance :) -🌸

Mbti: INFJ

Zodiac: Gemini

Sexuality: Asexual

Appearance: 5ft5, hourglass figure with light manilla skin, small button nose, and brown almond-shaped eyes. I also got a small mole under my nose and straight black hair that goes down mid-back.

Personality: People have described be as an enigma due to my open yet secretive nature. With strangers, I tend to be on the quieter side, but I have no problems in chatting with people. I tend to put up a front where I am oblivious and cheery, when in reality, I'm more pessimistic and way more observant than what I appear. When I am with few people I trust (trusting people takes a lot of time due to my past), I am childish, grandmotherly, witty, curious, and get excited about the little things. Im willing to try new things, and I am open-minded in general. I really value my alone time as I tend to get overwhelmed when I am with people or with loud noises. I also have a distaste for being the center of attention, so I tend to shy away from the spotlight. I try to be soft and kind to others despite the fact that deep down, I know that I am calculating, manipulative, moderately depressed, self-destructive, and low-key traumatized (from past bullying). In a way, I am two-faced. I refuse to hurt people as I know firsthand what it feels like, so I keep that side hidden away.

Likes: subdued pastels, learning new things, science, sustainability, books, oversized sweaters, loose dresses, naps, Winter, snow, heavy rain/ thunderstorms, trying new things, video games ( more story based), the macabre, tasteful gore.

Dislikes: loud noises, homophobia, childhood bullies, hot weather, being forced to do something, the church, getting sick easily, not respecting my boundaries. Weird textures against my skin. Not showering regularly, not knowing what's happening.

Hobbies: reading, writing, sleeping, drawing, watching youtube and baking, embroidery, singing (people are surprised when they find out) . I love to skate in the wintertime!

Love Language: Quality time (Sometimes I just say “spend time with me” like a little kid )

Hi ��Anon! Thank you for your request! Thank you as well for your kind words; it's always nice hearing that people like my writing. I hope you like your matchups!

In Honkai Star Rail, I match you with...

Caelus loves playing video games with you. They're one of his main pastimes so be prepared for him to be good at whatever you play.

More than happy to spend quality time with you. Whether that's sitting down reading together, skating when the weather is cold enough, or baking, he just loves being in your presence.

Blushes when you hold his face. He doesn't know how to react to the affection so he'll just copy your actions and hold your face as well. If he's feeling particularly sappy, he'll lean his forehead against yours with his eyes closed and just enjoy your presence.

Caelus would love to listen to you sing. He's join in but he doesn't want to sing too loud and miss hearing your voice. If you ask him to join in though, he will.

Expect him to dance a bit while singing. He gets into the songs really easily and he finds that dancing helps him stay in time.

Caelus will try to help you overthink less, especially when it involves him. He'll be very honest and clear with his thoughts and emotions so you don't have any room to doubt his words.

If you are overthinking, Caelus is more than willing to sit with you and listen to your thoughts. Then, he'll help you work through what you're thinking and find a solution.

In Tears of Themis, I match you with...

Marius would love to do creative things with you. He would be happy to work on his own project while you work on your creative endeavors but he's also happy to work on something together.

Would enjoy going skating with you in winter. He's pretty good at it but might pretend to fall over "on accident" a few times just to have your attention. He'll always assure you he's fine afterwards though.

Quietly honoured that you feel comfortable enough with him to trust him and open up. He knows that's taken a long time and he will do his best to make sure you never loose that trust in him.

Marius will tease you whenever you ask for hug. But the teasing will happen as he's wrapping you into the warmest hug you've ever received.

If you're comfortable with it, Marius would leave soft kisses on your scars. Its his way of saying he's glad you're here with him and he's proud that you've overcome that part of your life.

If you ever need support, he's there for you. Marius wants you to know that he's always there to lend a helping hand or listen to your thoughts or problems. He never wants you to feel like you're alone.

[taking-your-hand]

I really wanna start streaming on twitch and making Minecraft roleplays on YouTube (my main inspirations are Nihachu and Aphmau) but I’m really scared of people seeing that I’m a comshipper and trying to cancel me for it. I know how bad it can get, I’ve seen people leak faceless’ streamers address’ over petty drama and I’ve seen others snooping through youtuber’s Facebook just because they like them, I can’t imagine how much worse it would be if they disliked the person. I’m super scared of that happening to me because I’m openly comship. Not to mention the amount of people who’ll go around and call me horrible names, I once saw a Vtuber refer to Venti as a shota and they were called the dirtiest most gut-wrenching names. I’m already really sensitive so I don’t think I’d be able to handle it :(

Oh goodness, I have very similar fears myself. >< I am working on some projects that I intend to publish as original works that I do hope people will enjoy and be inspired by, but I'm always fearful of the people who will try to drag my name through the mud because I'm very openly defensive of The Bad Kinks™ and much more aggressively on my main than on here too, heheh!

I've seen... horrible things happen to artists, especially when they already have little power in society and the people with more power find it much easier to just kick them instead of standing up for them.

It's bizarre to me that I have yet to be so viciously targeted, and I really wonder if it comes down to popularity. Anti-kink people don't particularly care about me because I'm just a small Tumblr user, but on the other hand, god help me if I explode in a fandom one day or make a beloved game/show/etc. THEN, I'll face their wrath for daring to seek out success and happiness for myself, because I'm "tricking" or "manipulating" fans who don't realize how "problematic" I am. -_-

And certainly, some of it comes down to luck as well, because lots of small artists also get targeted. 😔

I don't think I have THE answers, but... I can tell you what I try so hard to internalize myself.

First of all, you have every right to the space you occupy as everyone else, regardless of your kinks or views on such. Contrary to what some people will claim, you are not intruding and you are not falsely advertising yourself. It's important to always keep that in mind. The idea that comshippers hurt people by being in their spaces is like saying they hurt people by standing in the same line at McDonald's pff. It's unrelated and ridiculous.

Secondly, as sad and perhaps pessimistic as this is, there will NEVER be a person or property that these extreme, one-note, closed-minded bullies won't target. No matter how much care you put into a story or presentation, there will be someone ready to twist it into something negative, or try to gatekeep your own fans if they do think you're on "their side" and "would never support these bad ships", etc. And here is the silver lining to that: Because this attitude is inevitable, you need not try to sand down your work to please such people. Anyone who would put so much energy into hating and tearing down someone for their art: their opinion of you is absolutely worthless. It's best to skip the needless pain and doubt they'll cause, and worry about the opinions of people with something of merit to say. People who criticize you in good faith, not the brainless screechers who just can't stand their own existences.

I feel like there is certainly more, and perhaps even better, advice out there for you, but I hope this was at least a start. As I said, I struggle with this fear too, and I think I have yet to fully embrace my own solution, especially since I haven't yet put out my projects heheh.

But either way, hope it helps. <3

And of course, I welcome any further advice from others on this! Lord knows I need it too haha.

Real quick, note that my rather vitriolic language is directed specifically at harassers and abusers, not at all self-identified antis.

[youwantedavillain]

Lol She Dmed Me! Let's Analyze It! (Part 6)

Alright let's continue our analysis! The library is open~

If we look at the first one (Dm56) we see her trying to manipulate the situation to make it look like she is virtuous and a martyr when she isn't which is revealed later on in the next few dms (61-67).

I repeatedly point at everything she says. She said before in the previous parts that she wanted attention -- thus the pointing out of "pity points". I again reinstate that I don't believe her due to the many times she has lied to me for her own benefit behind my back in a place that I couldn't reach nor ever know about. I outright state that if she didn't like me pointing out her vile actions then she shouldn't have done them in the first place -- this actively shows that she knows what she did was wrong and extremely disgusting, but it got her rocks off. I then, once again, point out her need for attention by showing her that her confession post got several hits and congratulate her on getting exactly what she wanted, me as her mighty Villain that she must take down at any cost and all the attention. She actively got what she wanted through manipulation and puppet strings. I'm ostracized from her friend group -- they will never believe me, no matter how many screenshots I have, they will not even glance at them or ever hear me out -- and smeared my name so hard that I can no longer even look at it without having those memories come back up. Plus, she now has all the attention she wants.

Upon looking at Dm61 you are probably confused but are also remembering the previous parts. She once again shows that she didn't work on herself as we pointed out previously. She also denied me the ability to try to give everyone a chance to have closure and give me a chance to "redeem myself" despite being the innocent party SEVERAL TIMES. She was uncomfortable because she knew that if I rejoined I wouldn't talk to her anymore and thus she wouldn't have ammunition and people would start realizing that she was full of shit.

Two months later I met Sarcomere after hearing that they had a problem with one of my character designs immensely. Upon meeting up they mentioned that I was nothing like @felicitythekittycat had ever said I was. Well, I told them the truth and they gave me a bombshell of evidence. Upon getting it my mental health took a nose dive off of the nearest cliff and I threatened @felicitythekittycat with a Defamation Lawsuit. She actively admits in this Dm(Dm63) that she wouldn't have stopped if I hadn't done this and acts as though her stopping due to the threat gives her ANY merit or goodwill.

It does not. In fact, it makes her look worse.

It's like a school bully constantly beating up a kid that doesn't fight back up until said kid has enough and gets the heaviest object in the room and starts beating the bully with it. The bully only stops when they realize that their victim has had enough of their shit.

I again ask.... HOW WAS IT MUTUALLY TOXIC? I did nothing. Just exist. She is actively trying to imply that I did something similar when I didn't. The symbolism here is amazing to me because she actually pulled this move previously once before. Not here mind you. Somewhere different. There is a secret player here that I have yet to mention. And that is my stalker: Kronostitan100.

I'd prefer it if I could do another post exclusively about him, but I have no other choice in the matter. Maybe in the future, I'll reiterate my points here in a post exclusive to him.

Kronostitan100 was about two years my junior when we met while I was in High School. We met during a chess game before classes started after lunch. After that game we became friends. I was never interested in him but he pursued me like it was he was a soldier on a mission. Even when I graduated and headed off to college he wouldn't stop the pursuit. He would text me from the moment I woke up to the moment I went to bed. He wouldn't listen to me when I said something made me uncomfortable. He didn't take "No" for an answer. Just claim he did but would still continue the pursuit. Even going as far as making confessions of love extremely often. He would also go as far as getting my friends to dogpile me extremely often by claiming that I told him to kill himself and the like. I'd often find my cellphone with missed phone calls and mountains of text messages all because I made an offhanded comment that he somehow twisted into being negative and about him personally. I remember one, in particular, was me commenting that his laptop was slow, and this somehow got him to run out into a snowstorm crying, only for one of his closest friends to start berating me. Another was when I kept telling him I was in my History Class at a college, and he wouldn't stop texting me, so I turned off my phone so it wouldn't go off only for me to get home and find several missed phone calls and texts telling me I'm the biggest bitch the world has ever seen and the world would be better off without me. One day I hit my limit and decided that something drastic had to happen to get him off of my back. So I faked a suicide attempt. I do regret it and find my current depression to be a bit of well-deserved karma. It took me 8 years to get rid of him (hopefully, I'm still scared he's stalking me). However, @felicitythekittycat was the one to egg me on.

She even told him that she thought he deserved what he got.

Sounds familiar, doesn't it?

Also, those "traces of me on the internet" she found.... was likely just me posting a final picture to deviantart of my oc killing herself: Social Suicide (Vent Art -- TW: S-icide) by Tailsgothicangel on DeviantArt

What a wonderful trace showing that I'm TOTALLY okay. TOTALLY...

What? I'm TOTALLY FINE!

Next... they claim that they thought about what I said before I initially blocked her... but that's bullshit because they claimed it was "mutually toxic" only a paragraph earlier, and in the beginning of this whole conversation they claimed they didn't know they should've reached out earlier. Also "rumors" is a pretty light word for "Ruining someone's social life and mental health so badly that they become suicidally depressed and were accused of committing the same crimes that traumatized them as a child.". Someone call a doctor; I think she shot herself in the foot with a shotgun here.

How-fucking-dare, you claim that jealousy wasn't a motive. Why were you scared that I was gonna ruin you? Because you were spreading lies? Because I had friends? With my "success" which I don't have, I was gonna specifically hurt you for what again? How is this not jealousy and paranoia? You were bitter because your friends were supporting my projects like they do with yours? I don't get how this is supposed to be "mutually toxic". Sounds more like a lie that you are trying to use to cover your ass as you fall into the fucking lava pit you dug yourself into. I can't grill this whore more than I did in Part 2 over this part of her paragraph.

So.... "I don't care about the damage I did but I know it hurt you, I looked just enough to know that you suffered because I did it all deliberately because it made me wet UwU". That is what that statement says to me.

"I don't want to portray you as the Villain" tell that to what you said in your previous paragraphs and that "Mutually Toxic" claim. Also, you claim to want to confess to your previous fuck-ups... yet here you are lying your ass off to try to take the heat off of you. You also claim to want to help me... but it looks to me like you are just trying to help yourself.

You were jealous of the attention I got from your friends and were thus threatened by it.

You were also envious of my skills.

Boo.

Fucking.

Hoo.

Cry some more.

[cyarskj1899]

Kanye West Used Porn, Bullying, ‘Mind Games’ to Control Staff – Rolling Stone

Matt Sullivan

A HUSH FELL OVER the factory sample room in Qinyuan, China, as Kanye Westexamined the prototypes of his latest Yeezysneakers on display before him. Decision-makers from Adidas and members of his entourage waited intently for his feedback when, according to two people who attended the August 2017 meeting, West began to yell that the Yeezys were not yet up to his standards — then approached a senior female employee. The attendees say West looked down at his foot, stared up at the woman, and told her, “I want you to make me a shoe I can fuck.”

Adidas representatives — including a vice president involved in the apparel giant’s billion-dollar licensing partnership with West’s influential brand — did not confront West about his alleged remark, the two attendees claim. The woman took a leave of absence before moving to a job elsewhere at Adidas (in an email, she declined to comment and requested that her name be withheld from this article.) Former Yeezy and Adidas employees, however, point to the alleged incident as one of many experiences — over the course of a decade — in which, they say, West used intimidation tactics with the staff of his fashion empire that were provocative, frequently sexualized, and often directed toward women.

In the month since Adidas severed ties with West amid a hail of hate speech, more than two dozen former Yeezy and Adidas staffers have described to Rolling Stone an abusive office culture that left many of them fearing for their livelihoods. Behind the scenes, thiscelebrity boss did more than test the boundaries of professionalism: Former Yeezy and Adidas staffers and creative collaborators claim that he played pornography to Yeezy staff in meetings; discussed porn and showed an intimate photograph of Kim Kardashian in job interviews; and showed an explicit video and photos of Kardashian as well as his own sex tapes to Yeezy team members.

Now, a revelatory open letter by prominent former members of the Yeezy team insists that leaders from Adidas were aware of West’s “problematic behavior” but “turned their moral compass off,” raising questions about whether his corporate partner could have stepped in years ago.

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“There was no accountability,” says a person at the Qinyuan meeting. “Difficult moments happened, with executives in the room — VP level or higher — and nothing would be done. You’d still show up to work the next day.”

On Tuesday night, several former high-ranking employees for Yeezy sent the scathing letter to the executive board members and newly installed CEO of Adidas, urging them to address “the toxic and chaotic environment that Kanye West created” and “a very sick pattern of predacious behavior toward women” who worked under West as part of the Yeezy-Adidas partnership. The letter, a copy of which was obtained exclusively by Rolling Stone, continues: “He has, in years past, exploded at women in the room with offensive remarks, and would resort to sexually disturbing references when providing design feedback. This type of response from a brand partner is one that Adidas employees should never be subjected to, nor should Adidas leadership ever tolerate.”

In response to multiple detailed lists of questions from Rolling Stone, a spokesperson for Adidas provided a brief statement saying, in part, that the company “will not discuss private conversations, details, or events that lead [sic] to our decision to terminate the Adidas Yeezy partnership and decline to comment on any related speculation.” West, who recently stopped working with his publicist and was dropped as a client by his high-profile attorneys, could not be reached for comment through direct messages or intermediaries. 

In public, West has referred to a “full-on pornography addiction” that “destroyed my family” and to sex as a design inspiration. Privately, multiple former Yeezy and Adidas staffers regret accepting what they agreed was an unwritten rule from Adidas management — “Kanye is just Kanye” — and underestimating what they once viewed as relatively harmless comments. But the writers of the letter — titled “The Truth About Yeezy: A Call to Action for Adidas Leadership” — accuse the company of lacking “responsibility, accountability, and protection that Adidas failed to provide their employees throughout what we experienced as years of verbal abuse, vulgar tirades, and bullying attacks.”

WEST TRANSPLANTED YEEZY from Nike to Adidas in late 2013. A few months later, he invited a rising creative, whom he’d only met once over the phone, to his Tulum, Mexico-inspired home in the Hollywood Hills. The creative was excited about a potential collaboration and recalls West, within minutes of stepping into the living room, beckoning them to check out his laptop.

Instead of anything resembling work, however, the collaborator claims West had hardcore pornography on the screen. “He showed me the video of Francesca Le, a buff porn star with a strap-on dildo fucking another girl in the ass,” the former collaborator tells Rolling Stone. “He’s like, ‘What do you think of it?’ Not laughing at all.” Two other creatives, including one associated with Yeezy’s early years, claim West had also shown them pornographic videos — including homemade sex tapes of West engaging in sexual activities with women.

The former collaborator who visited West’s home says they initially found the encounter amusing and recalls West appreciating their response that porn stars are entertainers, too. “At the time I found it odd but in line with his persona as an edgy artist,” the former collaborator says. “Now, seeing it within a larger pattern, I feel it was a tactic to break a person down and establish their unwavering allegiance to him, testing and destroying people’s boundaries.” (In a statement to Rolling Stone after publication of the article, Le says it’s “extremely concerning, disheartening, and disappointing that someone would use my work in a way that is demeaning to other human beings.”)

This October, amid a public meltdown and the denouement of his deal with Adidas, West released a 30-minute documentary on YouTube. It included a scene of him showing a pornographic video to two Adidas executives on a phone, in front of two members of his inner circle. Moments later in the documentary, West alludes to having a history of antics like “playing the porn” and “screaming” as elements of his Adidas relationships: “We’ve done all this,” he says. Shervin Pishevar, a venture capitalist who worked with West, chimes in to tell the executives, “What you’re feeling right now is extreme discomfort, and that is exactly the point.” The open letter sent to the Adidas board, which aims to speak for a collective of employees “who may be fearful of speaking up,” claims that the scene “is by no means a new intimidation approach” and that “Kanye’s problematic behavior started within the first year of his partnership with the Adidas brand.”

Pete Fox, who served as the president of Yeezy in 2016, remembers West bonding one-on-one with the “misfits” and “art nerds” of Yeezy’s startup days, even amid the release of The Life of Pablo. “If he likes you and wants you on the team, he’s super-charming,” Fox explains, adding: “If he didn’t like you or if something happened, he’d fly off the handle and it’d be over.” Asked about the allegations that West showed porn to Yeezy staff, Fox tells Rolling Stone, “I never looked at porn with him or anything like that, but we would look at things together that maybe would be surprising to people.” He continues, “In high fashion, there’s a lot of sexy, controversial things that maybe they reference or look at, as opposed to a company like Adidas where you would never show any nudity in a mood board.”

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Fox was the only person who agreed to go on the record with his name for this article. Every other Yeezy and Adidas staffer and contractor — as well as the authors of the open letter — requested anonymity to speak candidly, citing Adidas company policy, possible legal action after signing non-disclosure agreements, and fear of public reprisal by West. None of the people interviewed for this article would say if they formally complained to Adidas management concerning West’s behavior. But a dozenformer Yeezy and Adidas staffers recalled an atmosphere in which West praised some employees while belittling staffers he’d publicly supported just weeks, if not moments, earlier — “playing mind games,” one former staffer called it. After one disagreement, for example, West made a young female designer of color sit on the floor for a meeting that lasted hours, according to a former staffer in the room. “You don’t deserve to sit at the table,” the staffer recalled West saying. 

“No wonder why he didn’t want senior business managers in the room,” the open letter alleges. “He wanted to continue to use his power to violate you in a quiet way and threaten your role and existence within the team.”

The letter goes further, alleging that a “disturbingly” sexualized atmosphere around women at Yeezy was indicative of a pattern in which West “bullies and intimidates to get what he wants”: “The most troubling behavior that should have been flagged by the executive team very early in the partnership is his manipulative and fear-based approach to leading the team, all while trying to assert dominance over Adidas employees in closed rooms.”

THE FIRST YEEZY COLLECTION launched in 2015 and included the debut of the Yeezy Boost 350 sneaker, a vision of knitwear and moon-ready footprints that became a global status symbol. Adidas expanded its deal with West in June 2016, empowering him to oversee an entire category of shoes, apparel, accessories, fragrances, and eventually even architecture. Executives from Adidas, which is based in Germany, spoke of him glowingly in public and encouraged Yeezy to staff up.

I feel [West showing porn] was a tactic to break a person down and establish their unwavering allegiance to him, testing and destroying people’s boundaries.

Inside Yeezy’s brutalist, 14,390-square-foot office in Calabasas, California, West gathered with the handpicked designers who worked for his West Brands and the product team commuting from Adidas U.S. headquarters in Portland, Oregon. Two of West’s confidantes recall thriving in a culture that felt like there was “no middle management” getting in the way of creatives, while threeformer senior employees say West shirked Portland’s operational support and oversight. “He wanted absolute control,” says Fox, the former Yeezy president who helped negotiate the contract extension. “Steve Jobs or Elon Musk … they were responsible to shareholders; Kanye 100 percent owns his brands — he can do whatever he wants, and we’re just there to serve at his pleasure.”

Shortly after accepting a top position with Yeezy, a former senior employee claims they were warned by two Adidas executives about West’s peculiarly passionate idiosyncrasies. The employee remembers one Adidas vice president saying, “Hey, just so you know, there’s gonna be this whole porn-reference thing,” and a second executive saying, “It’s gonna catch you off guard the first time. I think he does it to catch people off guard.” (The vice president did not respond to requests for comment. The second executive declined to comment.)

The senior employee says West did, indeed, catch Yeezy staff by surprise. “He would be in a meeting and he’d be talking to you, and he’d rattle off in his laptop” to play a porn video, the employee tells Rolling Stone. “And he’s like, ‘I know it’s uncomfortable, but I kind of need this in the background to keep me focused.’ And you’d be like, ‘Uhhhhh, oh-kay.’” The former senior employee claims to have seen West play porn videos in meetings at least five times.

One afternoon in early 2018, according to a high-ranking employee in the room, West sat at a bench in the back of the open Calabasas workspace he liked to call the White Box, for a job interview with a female candidate. The senior footwear designer was presenting a portfolio on her laptop across the table from West, recalls the employee, when West interrupted to give the designer similar advice to what the employee says West told the Yeezy staff on more than one occasion: “If you ever get stuck creatively, just watch porn for 10 minutes.”

The woman paused, recalls the high-ranking employee, attempting to continue with her presentation, only for West to continue: “If you’re gonna be part of Yeezy, we say crazy shit here. You gotta stick with it. We keep moving, and we keep creating.”

Throughout the job interview, the high-ranking employee claims West “was trying to vet [her] to see if she would call him out on it, or if she would be able to roll with it.” The employee remembers West continuing: “We create products of passion. I literally want to fuck my shoes. That’s how good they are.” 

The candidate, who did not get the job, told Rolling Stone she would neither confirm nor deny the high-ranking employee’s account. But the employee recalls West making similar statements to colleagues about a shoe into which West or a Yeezy consumer could ejaculate — “not a sex-toy sneaker but something that you were so into that you would wanna have an intimate relationship” — at least 10 separate times. “He’d be, like, ‘literally fuck.’ He would be very clear on what that meant.”

A lot of women who were in that room felt intimidated and felt bullied. It does feel reminiscent of an emotional abuser.

Word had spread around the Yeezy and Adidas offices that West allegedly made another similar comment to the senior female employee in China, in front of Adidas brass at a key design meeting, and five former staffers recalled no talk of an investigation or intervention from the company into that alleged incident. “The way it was handled so quietly, it was like something in the room had died, and nobody could talk about it,” one of the former staffers says of the female employee’s subsequent departure from Yeezy. “It was turning a blind eye.”

The open letter about West’s workplace history claims that leaders from Adidas “continued to tolerate his difficult behavior” as the years went on: “If there was any case to defend the executive team’s inadequate action, aside from being beholden to shareholders, it appeared as if they simply didn’t know what to do or say in those jarring moments, or how to handle Kanye without further triggering him, or act in a way that didn’t jeopardize their position or the partnership. So instead, the board members and the executive team turned their moral compass off by ignoring both Kanye’s inflammatory public behavior and the Yeezy team’s complaints regarding troubling partner dynamics.”

In the Adidas statement to Rolling Stone, the company spokesperson wrote: “Adidas does not tolerate hate speech and offensive behavior and therefore has terminated the adidas Yeezy partnership. We have been and continue to be actively engaged in conversations with our employees about the events that lead [sic] to our decision to end the partnership. They have our full support and as we’re working through the details of the termination, we have been clear that we want to keep our employees’ talent and skills within the organization.”

A former staffer says the woman in the Qinyuan meeting “sat through a lot of shit, and she left because of the shit — a hundred percent.” Still, the staffer recalls being shocked when, the year after the alleged China incident, they say colleagues walked out of a meeting with West and immediately recounted an “awkward and uncomfortable” moment: “He had pulled up MILF porn and was like, ‘See this feeling? This feeling that you get when you watch this? This is what I want people to feel when they put on our shoes.’ So it was like, ‘Oh, my God, is this really happening?’ He couldn’t use any other way to describe this except by pulling up porn?”

IN 2018, WEST TOOK A MEETING in Chicago with a young creative who considered it a job interview. The potential staffer described feeling on edge when, upon entering the room, he found West dancing around to his own music on full blast. The creative remembers West finally turning his attention to the interview — and nonchalantly pulling out his phone.

“My wife just sent me this,” West said, according to the creative. On West’s phone, the creative claims, was an intimate photo of Kardashian. “It was very revealing and personal,” the creative tells Rolling Stone. “I didn’t really react.” A source close to the creative recalls being told about the photo of Kardashian hours after the meeting. At least one other time in 2018, West showed an explicit video of Kardashian to members of the creative team at Yeezy, according to a person who says they saw the video. (A spokesperson for Kardashian did not respond to multiple requests for comment.)

West did not show a Yeezy collection at New York Fashion Week that September. But he did travel to Las Vegas to work as creative director of the Pornhub Awards. For the occasion, he debuted new Yeezy apparel, designed a “bespoke erotica-inspired award statue,” and publicly debuted the song “I Love It.” A female staffer remembers West first playing the track for his Yeezy team at the office — with the chorus line “You’re such a fuckin’ ho, I love it” — and looking around for a reaction. “I grew up around this kind of music and this culture, and it’s not as shocking to me because of that,” the staffer says of West’s workplace provocations. “But I can see why and how some people were super-affected and super-uncomfortable. And he’s definitely said stuff to me, around me, in front of VPs, that was uncomfortable.”

According to two former senior employees, West barred some Adidas executives from meetings; in turn, the employees say, managers at Yeezy felt expected to share meticulous notes from their West interactions with Adidas management. One former member of the Yeezy team says they found the culture “was so cult-like working for him — that conversation sort of turned around into like, ‘Well, they’re still trying to control what we’re doing here.’” 

In 2019, a former staffer tells Rolling Stone, the footwear design team had all but forgotten about one new model of Yeezys when she remembers being shown a text from West: “He said, ‘We really need this shoe to be done because all I think about is Kim’s ass and this shoe.’”

The alleged sexualized remark led to a prioritization of the product “from no work to the number-one most important model,” according to the staffer. (Two former senior employees, who were not on the design team at the time, recalled hearing about the alleged remark and a product’s priority shift.) “We ruffled a lot of feathers at Adidas to make and engineer it,” the staffer remembers, although she viewed West’s alleged directive with a silver lining of sorts. 

“This is gonna sound so bad, but my first thought wasn’t like, ‘Oh, that’s fucking weird,’ because we’re in it — we’re in this cult,” the staffer says. “Maybe this is me being a female in a men-dominated industry. If I’m comparing that text message to being in a room where he’s playing porn, I would much rather have the text message — you’re kind of like, ‘Oh, that’s flattering that he thinks of it this way.’ And that’s why, as an employee, you let all these things slide. Because you’re looking for his approval, and that’s why we would work so much. That’s why we would put up all this shit.” The staffer says she has tried cult deprogramming with her therapist since leaving Yeezy. The fast-tracked sneaker model never made it to market.

Multiple former Yeezy team members maintain that what they viewed as West’s domineering tactics did not appear to be gender-based. “But I know that a lot of women who were in that room felt intimidated and felt bullied,” says one former female employee. “It does feel reminiscent of an emotional abuser.”

A senior employee recalls sitting in a room with a female Adidas talent recruiter who was holding back tears; West was yelling so loudly on the other end of the line that the employee could hear him. The recruiter hung up, according to the senior employee, only for West to call back and yell at her again — apparently about the creatives West wanted by his side, not whomever Adidas was actually hiring. “She was basically moved out of the team” after complaining to her manager in human resources, the senior employee says. Two other former senior staffers described being told by Adidas leaders in Portland that a “soft landing” spot was available back at the mothership for colleagues who feared West. “The way that they protect them is they move them out of the team and push them out the back door,” says the senior employee who counseled the HR staffer. “Some people appreciate that, while some people think that it’s just a cop-out.” 

As much as we all would love to solely blame Kanye, the undeniable truth is that the Adidas executive team and the board have been huge enablers.

According to three former senior employees, some general managers at Yeezy had repeatedly made clear to staffers that if they felt uncomfortable in a room, “You do not have to stay.” Multiple staffers viewed the occasional interjection from both West Brands and Adidas corporate as lip service. “Imagine if Kanye’s talking and you get up and leave,” a former staffer says. “It’s not like he’s a professional — he would probably call you out right there.” 

One of the former senior employees says that some management figures “were absent when they should have been present” and that West’s provocative behavior “was allowed to fester” because Yeezy was on its way to generating an estimated $1 billion to $2 billion in annual revenue. But, the former senior employee adds, “there’s no playbook for this.’”

THEN, JUST LIKE THAT, it seemed as if West was ready to be saved from himself. In October 2019, West told Apple Music’s Zane Lowe that he’d been infatuated with porn since childhood: “Some people drown themselves in drugs, and I drown myself in my addiction — sex.” But he described himself in the Apple interview as “having to kick the habit, and it just presents itself in the open, like it’s OK. And I stand up and say, ‘You know, it’s not OK.’”

Gone, apparently, were the sex tapes and the “I fell in love with a porn star” flow; in came West’s invite-only Sunday Service choir and “I repent for everything Imma do again.” An organizational chart of Yeezy’s creative hierarchy reviewed by Rolling Stone, which a staffer said was provided by human resources, included a power ranking at the top: GOD KANYE ARTIST ARCHITECT DOERS. West would often show up at rehearsals for Sunday Service, according to a former choir member, and launch into rants on subjects including race, politics, and, occasionally, how he’d been “saved” from his apparent former love of porn. “It was something he said he overcame,” the choir member recalls.  

West convinced Adidas to transplant much of Yeezy’s Calabasas showroom to his 3,888-acre ranch in Cody, Wyoming, and asked an estimated 90 employees to commute from L.A. or Portland — or else uproot their lives to a new cauldron of music, fashion, and, this time, faith. By day, West could cruise the streets solo in his Ford Raptor truck without Adidas looking over his shoulder. At the ranch, according to five former employees, he made unrelenting demands, sometimes to unqualified talent. “He might ask a chef to make a song and an architect to be his personal assistant,” says one staffer in Cody. “He may ask a song producer to design a school, and the next day that becomes an orphanage, and the other days it becomes an airport.” But there were no curse words allowed by musicians visiting the ranch to record tracks on the album that would become Donda, and a former senior employee recalls West suggesting to people who said the phrase “Hell, yeah!” to repeat themselves with “Heaven, yeah!” 

At times in 2020, though, things got “really uncomfortable,” says a former staffer who worked for Yeezy in Cody. The staffer alleges that West would do things like scream, jump on a table, and throw books across a room. “I feared for my well-being,” the former staffer says. “Like, what if he throws something at you?” When asked about allegations that West had shown nude photos of Kardashian to members of the Yeezy team in the past, the former staffer tells Rolling Stone, “He’s not afraid to show explicit images or talk about situations that should be kept private.”

A former senior employee recalls West suggesting to people who said the phrase ‘Hell, yeah!’ to repeat themselves with ‘Heaven, yeah!’

According to a staffer with knowledge of the situation, West frequently scolded one female employee in Cody about her appearance. “He’s just obsessed with power, and he has all the power and money to make somebody cut their hair, to make somebody lose their weight,” the staffer says. “To the same person, he can go say things like, ‘You fat slut,’ and then this person will still have to be forced to stay because that’s how they make money. They have a lease to pay.” (The woman declined to comment through an intermediary.)

“There’s many forms of abuse,” says the staffer, “and this is the kind of abuse that’s so many kinds of abuse combined into one.”

One former confidante who worked closely with West in Wyoming fondly recalled “his Jesus kick” and their time working on the Yeezy partnership. But after witnessing West’s behavior in 2022 from afar — the all-caps Instagram posts lambasting Kardashian, the documentary in which he showed porn to Adidas executives, the hate-filled, antisemitic interviews — the confidante says “Adidas enabled a lot of that kind of behavior.” As sales exploded from the sneakerhead crowd to the shopping mall, the confidante believes Adidas allowed for so much creative latitude that the corporate oversight devolved into a kind of “don’t ask, don’t tell” policy.

“It was probably better that they didn’t know every single detail that was going on,” says the former confidante. “Some of these questionable things, but also just around the way that we worked and pushing boundaries.”

The letter sent to the board on Tuesday laments “Adidas leadership’s delayed action and sustained silence,” calling upon the company’s board to review contracts with the apparel giant’s A-list partners — “with steadfast rules for termination of a partnership when problematic behavior arises” — and to issue a public apology to the Yeezy team for what the letter refers to as “Kanye’s terrorizing behavior.”

“As much as we all would love to solely blame Kanye,” the letter states, “the undeniable truth is that the Adidas executive team and the board have been huge enablers.”

A few weeks before West’s career began to implode in earnest this October, he gathered the loyal misfits and art nerds who remained on Yeezy’s skeleton staff, according to one staffer, for an impromptu meeting at one of his temporary Los Angeles office spaces. The staffer remembers the Yeezy team standing in a circle to listen to West discuss his struggles — pornography included.

“The oversexualized behavior has been consistent since the beginning,” says a former senior employee. “I don’t know that it ever went away.”

[bodhrancomedy]

I wasn’t going to respond to this, I looked at your blog. Your irrational hatred and bile directed towards trans people is palpable and pathetic. This was intended to upset me. 

But I now have a chance to talk about who my grandfather is. 

You see, I find it interesting that you claim the only way my 90yr old grandfather could possibly be so accepting is if he was dying of one of the most horrible diseases known to man, a condition which eats your brain from the inside out and turns you in an angry, scared shell of the child you once were while your family has to grieve you long before you’re dead. 

You find it easier - and evidently prefer - to believe that to accept me, my grandfather must have Alzheimer’s rather than any other reason. 

Why is that easier to believe than a man who lived through (not was born during, not was around for, lived through) the Second World War and the aftermath, seeing footage of the concentration camps and meeting refugees would be accepting? 

A poor builder and a farmer who worked alongside queer men and deaf men and the few people of colour in Northern Ireland in the 1950s and was himself barred from many places of employment and education due to his religion?

This man, whose oldest son was born the year the British army began occupying his country, who lived through the Troubles and was automatically considered suspicious and dangerous through an incident of birth? A man who helped raise six children - most of them boys and therefore in great danger of the army turning their guns on them for playing kid-games - in a time of civil war where it didn’t seem to matter which side you were on, the bombs and shootings could get you either way? A man who once was taken hostage by the IRA? 

My grandfather’s oldest son - my dad - was the first in his family to go to university and there he met and fell in love with a Protestant woman. This was before the Good Friday Agreement, when the civil war was still happening, and if my grandparents had a problem with it - they never let said to my mum. 

(My grandpa and my mum don’t really get along, but that’s more to do with me being a premature baby and tensions over my survival and disagreements on how to look after me. My mum and my Nana? Thick as thieves.) 

They certainly never let it slip to us when we came along because it wasn’t important anymore that we were something many people in Northern Ireland would have preferred to not exist. It didn’t matter. 

He voted in the Good Friday Agreement in hopes of stopping the conflict. He spent a lot of time listening to me about the bullying I was facing for being - unbeknownst to me at the time - queer and disabled. He just told me that being happy was far more important. 

Being trans? It does not matter. Of course it doesn’t matter to him because he’s seen worse things in the world. 

He’s ninety years old. He’s still out on the farm, he’s still studying history, he’s still sharp as fuck. I’ve seen someone die of Alzheimer's. I know every bit of it and it’s not him. Besides, I’ve not medically transitioned in anyway yet. He’s only seen me presenting fully masc for six days in person. Two years in total. If he had Alzheimer’s he’d be calling me by my deadname and using she/her. 

And he’s not unusual. Outside of your echo chamber, most people are fine with trans people. Most people don’t care. Most people are accepting. They may not understand, they may not use the right words, but they’re accepting. 

I do find it interesting that once again the TERF tactic is try and wrestle autonomy and self-control away from people who don’t follow your bigoted stances. Autistics must be being manipulated. Trans men are clearly confused little girls. Children obviously can’t understand their own minds and bodies. 

My grandfather must have Alzheimer's. 

Of course my view of a world I’ve seen in a Tumblr textpost must be more correct than the reality everyone else lives in. 

Have the day you deserve. 

My 90yr old Irish Catholic grandpa doesn’t miss with my gender. He’s never gotten my name wrong, or my pronouns, never even faltered over it.

It’s all so natural too: son, big man, young man…

We’ve never talked about it. He’s the only one who hasn’t pushed for details. He just accepted it and carried on because it’s not a huge deal.

It’s so comforting.

[cosmicangel888]

Seeking the peace - God & Spirit is always there for you - even when no one else is..

In recollection of my life, there was much osctracized moments, the dismissal of my speech because it had no place in the economics or traditional knowledge of healing, or spirit; or ways of normal conformity - then to have such abuses magnified by toxic and abussive people that focussed on the pains, trauma's and wounds and seek to recruit others to stalk, research and watch and do black magic to bring even greater damage to the damaged -

How could anyone watch and study you for your flaws, your weak points, your stories and to only catch you, or see where your flaws are or the ways in which they can seep into and make the pain more real or manipulation more fun; who does this? Those that seek to win to take over, to take one over, and feel entitled to manage and control the energy and the unfolding, or narrative

There are groups of people, sects, to work together in their darkness and dysfunction to thwart, warp, block confuse, and bring trauma and damage, taking from the innocent through manipulation, black magic and spell work - so that the weaker the mind space is, the more confused someone is, the trickery and deceit, games, withholding of mail, information, money, to play greater control games to suppress your movement and your liberation -

In all that was placed against me, many others - I will stand and speak for the injustices of those never once making any of the despicable treatment and wrongs right - how through years of offering to Create new paths- none chose to heal the damage in pure intention without games or shady contracts or ill will, none chose to choose new actions - still the obsessive stalking and blocking or magic continued - to control to get to block, to stop me from being me and flowing to and however I choose - none have any right to thwart me from being me and every experience of ridiculous shaming magic or childhood ostracized treatment -

I will walk on my own with the divine - when no one cared and no one stopped the trauma and abuse - God, spirit, Source was there - Source, light was always there for me - while there were those spreading blaspheme lies, taking from me in every way, and further corruption done - masks made and deceitful ways in shady controlling and obsessive manners - being smug and judgmental because women, someone is not speaking like others - or one has a faith unknowable to some,

I have my right to be me - I will not silence and I will not be bullied out of who I am - - I know God, I know spirit, I know the beings that are always with me and when I went down, Spirit was the only light and love there for me; I have been left by every person that ever mattered to me; and spirit has closed and blocked the doors from reopening - this is what faith is - how to treat people with kindness regardless of how they treat you - be kind and loving

Why is it that when a light worker speaks to family or so called friends, the light workers have to navigate carefully or screen certain words or discussions so too not to touch too much on the magical world of spirit and bring trigger moments to those that simply want to live in darkness and self proclamation of a traditional scholastic life being the be all and end all - while dismissing every other offer or person that speaks of what is not found in books - how is any of this being unconditional or loving and accepting -

I am so tired of being and feeling, being treated like I just don't fit -

I accept me, and I love me - why is it that those in the most staunch beliefs and conformed ways; want to make you feel bad for being you, dismiss and warn you not to speak of your wisdoms or beliefs because they just don't honour it or are not 'into it' and yet they are able to be as judgmental and separative and even at times abusive and angry - thwarting and manipulative to try and bring harm to one that feels and is different - yet under cover they live a secret life or mask who they are to all - how is any of this fair?

It is not. So how and what do you fit within - do you feel the fairness and equal treatment of kindness and respect - or are you a closet light worker because there is such ignorance and unawakened hearts that simply hate to listen to you or have you in the same room?

It is ok - when no one is there for you - to listen to you or to understand you, or play games of pushing you out, excluding you, and playing such dismissive games - Spirit will be there - Spirit is always there and you can release the stories, vibrations of inner child wounding and feel the liberation to always remain loving and know spirit will clear the way and always bring fairness and justice in unique and even magical ways -

You are here to rewrite the damage and to arise in any challenge as a self loving being knowing that you are meant to fit in now and anywhere and not to allow the lack and density or judgement of other shape who you are - or to allow the damaging treatment of others be what makes you change your expression or being-ness - you are here to trigger greater light and speak of great and profound healing modalities that most will not get or accept until there are enough healed and cases studied - some will always want proof and to see first- however those awakened and those in faith know it is to know first and thus be seen is the way - it is all purposeful - it is all ok

Each are meant to trigger one another to be more full, more accepting and more loving - it is all purposeful and even if some of these experiences are family - you can still choose who and what you call family - for you are worthy of feeling the acceptance of those that truly care who you are, and what you have to say, and your experience of life - you are worthy of this - always - so own it!

Claim who you are and have the allowance to let the world adjust -

Why is it that all can speak and be who they are; low vibrational and karmic and dense and conformed; and yet a light worker has to struggle, suffer, and live such a lonely life to be simply joyful and light hearted? Why is it the corrupt can be but the innocent and the whistleblowers have to feel the protection of greater forces to even live a normal life in fear of constant stalking and harassment?

There is not fairness - the past will never be a part of any now moment - spirit has blocked all - there is a closing veil, curtain on it all and it was so many tough lessons and spirit will lift those that devote and know - when no one Else is there for you - Spirit will be -

The alliance with light -

God is and spirit is all that is needed - the inner realm is deep and rich and divinely blessed to be a constant and enriching journey - there will be those on your journey that challenge you and those that will adore and uplift you - and it is a navigation that requires you love and be at peace with it all - never to allow the abuse or rude behaviour of others to change the purity of light, joy and kindness of you - and even if those mistake your kindness for niavity spirit will always assure balance and fairness is returned -

Its ok to return within for a while and let others have their ride too - select those carefully to enter your realm and inner heart space and be discerning of who, what and how you give to - not all are worthy and even the best of liars - you will have to remain grounded to feel into their games and levels of deceit to remain untouched -

IT is all purposeful and allows you to be a master - neutrality and peace - it is for a master to practice and learn every new cycle of growth - all is purposeful -

The Divine is always fair - always - there are beings, teams, and collectives always working with God to assure of blessing, karma, and release of suffering, danger, and easing the way as needed. Spirit are the unseen workers and why it is ok for those of us with unique paths, devoted paths to walk alone and do our work on our own - for it is a much richer world when working within - there is always infinite growth and wisdom - you only need you - spirit will be your guide and best friend

I know and am happy with all of my past - as sad as some of it has been - I know it has made me more in alignment with God, and stronger to be a higher vibrational healer - so in this, I owe solely and soully to my ancestors and guides who would never ever give up on me - I am the daughter of God - and it is ok, if I am the only one that knows and believes in such - that is my role - that is my responsibility.  © 

Blessings and light

Joanna

NEW TRIBE OFFERING! *** To Contact me; JoannaCosmicAngel@yahoo.com

*** To Donate use; PayPal link here; paypal.me/JoannaLRoss

#ascension

#God

#selflove

#selfhealing

[yanderenightmare]

Hun omg you are a my favorite author ever ugh HAHSKSJFJD SO I ALWAYS LIKE THE BULLY TROPE AND U HAVE PROVIDED ME SO MASTERPIECE OF THAT KIND. I mean Bakugou is not really my most favorite character in BNHA but I always searched him up because I like bully trope and he’s by far the only one who suits that kind. SOO IM SO FREAKING THANKFUL FOR U

also do u think shoto would be like suited for that not obvious bully but like lowkey if u know what i mean. liek he will purposefully bump into u then catch u if u fall or push ur pencils and book of ur desk and act like he didnt notice it

PS: if u think shoto doesnt suit thag its okay and ill still thank u for ur thoughts and masterpiece hehe im sorry if this was too long huhu

YANDERE ! BULLY ! TODOROKI SHOTO x FEM ! READER

Yeyeyeye, I always thought Shoto was the type to play with his food… here’s a short little oneshot regarding those thoughts

goodiebag WARNINGS: profanity, slight yandere, abuse, bullying, threats, manipulation, gaslighting

PRINCESS

Shoto was so kind to her. That’s what people said. Such a gentleman who caught her when she fell, who helped pick up her books when she dropped them, who said such sweet things, called her such sweet things. She was being rude. She was being ungrateful and even cruel, being such a brat, such a bitch. And by All Might, she couldn’t get anyone to believe her when she told them he was the one tripping her, he was the one pushing her around, that he was the fucking devil in disguise.

That just didn’t make any sense. Why would he bully her only to be her knight in shining armor? He’s the most handsome boy in school, why would he feel the need to play such games? She was just flattering herself. She was being crazy, delusional.

It wasn’t even as though she thought he had some twisted crush on her. All she was preaching was that he was a sadistic sociopath, but all anyone would hear was how he paid an obsessive amount of attention to her, no matter and no concern for how that attention was unwanted on her side. She was just ungrateful, she was just selfish.

“Princess!” She groaned at once at the sound of that title on his lips, knowing immediately she had failed to make it to her dorm without running into him. It seemed, no matter where she was, he was always just two steps away. “How has the day been treating you so far?” He sounded so cool, so nonchalant and suave it made her blood boil, but then… she didn’t want to care, she was just so bloody tired and done, not wanting to get wrapped up into any of his antiques. All she wanted was to get to her dorm, no more games, no more energy wasted on trying to convince people she wasn’t some deranged lunatic who leached off of Shoto’s attention, and no more time spent trying so desperately to bargain with him to leave her alone.

“Can we not do this today, Todoroki.” Several things were wrong with that sentence in his mind. First: his name. How many times would he have to correct her until she got it through her stubborn skull that she should, no, she will call him by his given name? Secondly: the absence of a please in her request. Such lack of manners, he ought to teach her a lesson.

She was quickly pushed against the wall, pinned by her wrists to each side of her head, knee riding up between her thighs, heart in her throat. “We’ve gone over this, Princess, you call me Shoto.” Still, so calm in his tone, collected and determined.

Yet, she was used to this and knew by experience that things didn’t escalate any farther, usually. “And you don’t call me Princess, but we can’t always get what we want.” A thing she never got used to though… was his eyes. His dual-colored orbs, one so soft and warm yet dangerous like jagged rocks, cliffs, caves, and the other one so cold, so cold the freeze seemed to seep into her heart like winter, deadly like the blizzard, riding her full of frostbite.

She felt his breath on her chest, warmer as he came closer, nearing her neck. “Oh yes, I can, Princess.” That tone, licking her ear like flames, so confident and so righteous, cocky with a wintry chuckle and threatening with edge like a knife to her throat. “If you won’t say my name…” His lips brushed her jawline, and despite knowing it was futile, she jerked to try and free her hands. It only resulted in him tightening the hold around her wrists, making her wince and whimper as those same lips moved to hover above her own trembling ones. “Perhaps I should have you scream it.”

[yurimother]

LGBTQ Light Novel Review — I'm in Love with the Villainess

A stunningly profound, entertaining, and queer title that eclipses other isekai and Yuri series

There are few titles the general public seems to be as excited about as Inori and Hanagata's I'm in Love with the Villainess, as it has been sitting at or near the top of Amazon's LGBT Manga list for months and Twitter is consistently abuzz with the latest news on this isekai Yuri series. I was somewhat more skeptical, as I have had relatively poor experiences with isekai and fantasy Yuri. Still, my excitement went through the room, and I eagerly boarded the "hype train" upon the cover reveal for the third volume. Yuri families, where two women raise children together, are one of my greatest desires and something I rarely see portrayed in the genre. However, I still had mostly low expectations for the series going into the first volume. I looked forward to some light meandering comedy and typical boring trope-filled isekai shenanigans. However, I'm in Love with the Villainess more than exceeded my expectations. No, even this statement is far too moderate to describe how utterly stunned and blown away I was by Inori's creation. I'm in Love with the Villainess is completely shattering and easily one of the greatest light novels I have ever read. Thus, I have no choice to award a perfect 10/10 score, my first ever for a light novel.

After waking up in the world of her favorite otome game, Revolution, protagonist Rae is ecstatic to be faced to face with Claire Francois, the game's villainous rival. However, Rae never played Revolution for the thrill of romancing any of the three attractive young princes. She was always in love with Claire. She attends the academy and studies magic in the fantasy world alongside Claire, the princes, and various other supporting characters. Using her skills from the modern world and her encyclopedic knowledge of Revolution, Rae manipulates the situation to be close to Claire, becoming her maid, and garnering status and money along the way. As an inevitable conflict looms closer, Rea begins to enact plans to protect herself and Claire, many of which are not fully understood or explained until the finale fantastically reveals the reasons for her actions. There is a natural and steady pace to the narrative that awards readers’  predictions and attention to detail.

I'm in Love with the Villainess has some excellent supporting characters, all of whom have unique personalities, histories, and abilities, some of which are revealed by Rae's exposition and others naturally throughout the novel. However, the stars of the show are the central couple, Rae and Claire. Claire is an elite aristocrat and extremely bratty. She often sneers at commoners and makes her disdain of Rae very clear from early on. On paper, she sounds like the perfect villain and someone all readers would despise. However, Rae's utter devotion and infatuation with Claire is so sincere that we cannot help but be pulled in and adore Claire and all her tantrums. Rae is a delight herself, continually flirting and poking fun at Claire, which gets her verbally berated, much to her masochistic pleasure. However, she is also exceptionally cunning and intelligent, and some of the light novel's greatest joys are listening to her analyze a situation or watching one of her plans fall into place.

“Ah, I’m… Well, it doesn’t matter. I mean, it’s irrelevant to cuteness—because, Miss Claire, you are cute.” “Huh?!” She pulled away. It was perfect—such a pure reaction. “Miss Claire, you hate me, right?” “Of course!” “That’s fine. Please keep teasing me. I love it.”

The beginning of the book does not immediately clue one into its brilliance. Sure, Claire and Rea get some great one-liners as they bully each other, and the scenarios are authentic and fun, but it is nothing shattering. I was feeling pretty relaxed and having a lot of fun with the characters, their relationship, and the various slice-of-life style scenarios they encountered until one section, I remember the exact page, 81, as it stopped me dead in my tracks. I was flabbergasted and briefly frozen before shooting up out of bed, shouting expletives as I ran to my office to immediately record what I had just experienced. It all begins with the line, "Hey, Rae. Are you what they call gay?" What followed was one of the most thoughtful, condensed, informative, and nuanced discussions of gay and queer identity (both terms used in this scene) I have ever seen in Yuri. Everything from representation in media, the perceptions of and prejudices against gay people, and the role gender plays in romance for bisexual and gay people are analyzed. Its commentary is succinct yet so respectful and forthright that it could have only come from genuine experience, thus selling the book and its characters so much more.

"Queer people were still overwhelmingly closeted in this world, which was rife with prejudice and nurtured little understanding. As I noted, the queer people depicted in the story were either the sex fiends Claire imagined or the free-loving sort Lene had in mind. Diversity and acceptance were a long way off.”

Thus, Inori's writing's beauty exposed itself, and the book opened itself up to a delightful cycle. The narrative masterfully integrates isekai slice-of-life hijinks, like running a cross-dressing café or battling a giant slime with nuanced and challenging moments that dissect complicated topics. The latter mainly consists of a growing rift between the aristocracy and common people, mirroring real-world wealth gap issues, but the novel also touch on matters such as unequal prison sentencing and segregation. Every scene helped further the complexity of the characters and their relationships or else built onto the world of Revolution. Speaking of which, I'm in Love with the Villainess has some of the best worldbuilding ever seen in a light novel.

Initially, brief exposition establishes much of the world, which is adequate if not exciting. I will mark up to a casualty of the light novel's serialized nature, as it must present readers its setting immediately. However, Inori does not stop here. Through the narrative, new elements are established, such as a magic system and the kingdom's politics. Rea notes and describes how the world, while clearly based on medieval Europe, has many modern Japanese attributes, as Japanese game developers created it. Her pointing out the intersection of the two is fascinating. Furthermore, A great deal of time is spent establishing characters and organizations all have their own wants, agendas, and methods, many of which are not even directly involved with the story. Instead, they act as a background and help further contextualize others. For example, the Church publicly appears to lean towards supporting the commoners in their efforts for equality but has its own agenda of superseding the nobility. While they play little role in Rea and Claire’s adventure, they are one of numerous factors contributing to the unrest of the lower class. All these additions are interesting, and it never feels like the story or characters suffer for their inclusion, quite the opposite.

“The Bauer Kingdom had started a step behind other countries when it came to magical research. They dominated the surrounding countries in military strength, and this had made them complacent, leading them to underestimate the value of new magic technology until the best researchers had all been enticed to other countries. Even after the king came up with his magic-focused meritocratic policy, Bauer lagged behind.”

I can only make complaints by scraping the very bottom of the barrel. Hanagata's beautiful art is too infrequent to add much to the light novel, and many scenes crying for illustrations are left to the readers' imagination. However, Inori so wonderful writes the story that one hardly cares and can easily picture every moment with delight. Besides, the manga adaption will nullify this issue. Where I cannot complain at all is the spectacular translation by Jenn Yamazaki and Nibedita Sen, one of Seven Seas best (which is high praise considering the competition). Sure, I was slightly disappointed at first to see the adaptation left off honorifics, but the more I thought about the setting, the more sense it made. I am sure people much smarter than I gave the issue much more consideration, and I am happy with their decisions.

I'm in Love with the Villainess left me reeling with how pleasurable and powerful it was. The story and characters are such a joy, and I cannot wait to see Rea and Claire bully each other again in the next volume. Astounding worldbuilding and powerful, thought-provoking politics surround their antics and the high stakes plot. Every moment of their journey will enthrall readers as they squeal with glee at its hilarious set pieces or are shocked by its commentary of society's most significant challenges. Inori has created one of the most delightful, heartfelt, complex, profound, and genuinely queer light novel series ever. If you only read one thing I recommend this year, let it be I'm in Love with the Villainess.

Ratings: Story — 9 Characters — 10 Art — 5 LGBTQ — 10 Sexual Content — 2 Final — 10

Review copy provided by Seven Seas Entertainment

Purchase I’m in Love with the Villainess in digitally (9/23) and in print (11/10) today: https://amzn.to/32NEyG1

Supports creators by purchasing official releases.

[dancingstarsbornfromchaos]

Some random background story headcanons I have for Evil Rick, since there’s really not enough content about his character! (And since I was encouraged to share by a lovely person)

As a young kid, Rick showed all the signs what psychiatry would later label as a Conduct Disorder (which in teenagers is called Antisocial Personality Disorder): complete disregard for social norms, delinquent behaviour (mostly in the form of skipping school, stealing and destruction of property), lack of empathy, cruelty towards animals, intimidating behaviours, open aggression. So, he was damaged goods since the very start, capable of, and very willing to, destroying and twisting everything he touched.

Being as smart as he was just made it worse. He quickly learnt how not to get caught, how to act behind others’ back, how to make sure that he could get away with it, even when everyone was aware of the kind of little monster he was. But no proof, no crime, right?

He even sent several of his classmates to the hospital through his elementary and middle school years, leaving some of them deeply traumatised in the aftermath and a couple physically impaired.

His family never did anything about it. The Sanchez struggled with money and Rick’s mother was far too busy working her three job’s to care for her son...a son she hadn’t wanted to have to start with. As for his father, the man was half an alcoholic and half a criminal and, while absent in his son’s life, he was around more and the only figure Rick could learn something from. And what he learnt was that when you wanted something, the quickest way to go around the issue was to take it, rules and consent be damned.

While his parents never physically abused him, Rick grew up in a state of complete neglect (emotional, but also material), having to fend for himself since an age when he should have been too young to even just be alone in the house.

At every new school he was sent to, he attracted the attention of the local bullies, but it never lasted. Eventually, something really nasty happened to them and everyone learnt to keep their distances, kids and adults alike.

School still felt like a waste of time to him, so he chose to focus on teaching himself what he needed and wanted to learn. And that was were most of his efforts went. While he never felt the need for a connection with other people, unless it involved causing them pain or gaining something out of it, science was the one thing that made him feel more than just anger, frustration, boredom or the need to break everything around him. Where he usually lived following a primal urge for destruction, it gave him a chance to experience what it was like to create.

He left home at 16, and his family never even thought of looking for him. He made money through his inventions and crime, usually never getting fully involved and preferring to stand aside and watch the chaos his schemes and twisted games led to.

Soon, however, all that was no longer enough. Everything he did got dull faster and faster and Earth started to feel like a prison, which lead him to work obsessively on finding a way to leave that ball of dirt behind.

Diane was a convenient opportunity. She was good-looking in a way that society approved, she was easy to fall for his lone wolf act and her will too see good even where there was none made her easy to manipulate. And, more importantly, she had enough normalcy to hide away Rick’s abnormalities too. He never loved her, nor the daughter they had together. He just got her pregnant so he could marry her and use her as a walking hideout while he kept on pursuing his own interests in peace.

The very same day he finished to build his space ship, Rick packed his stuff and left in the middle of the day, while Diane was off to pick up a 5-years-old Beth out of school. He didn’t leave a note, never looked back. And forgot about them both pretty quickly too.

In that bloodied, lawless mess that space turned to be, Rick truly thrived for the first time in his life. He turned himself into a mercenary, working for whoever managed to pique his interest the most and for whoever offered him the best chance to get creative with his work. The Federation was hardly the only one to suffer from his games and whims. Some came to say that Rick Sanchez destroyed civilizations for breakfast, if he woke up in that kind of mood. Or if he had a bit too much to drink the night before.

He met the Squanchy and the Birdperson of his dimensions, but they never became friends. They were just people he had dealt with while he sold weapons to the Rebellion, two faces who stood up just a little more in a sea of a thousands more.

Of course, his lifestyle and disregard for the consequences earned him an endless list of enemy. He was hunted down and captured, tortured in all the conceivable ways. He was almost killed several times, violated in the body and the mind alike. He lost counts of all the substances that were put and that he willingly put into his body, which by now was synthetic and part machine than human. Yet, he always came out on top, covered in blood and with that insane, terrifying tingle in his eyes shining just a bit brighter each time.

Meeting other Ricks and learning about interdimensional traveling marked a new turn in his life. He moved through different realities, took a vague interest in studying the differences in the course or history (and eventually found most of them pathetic and unworthy of his time). He even spent a couple of years living on the Citadel, hidden away in its darkest corners, always under the radar.

One thing stuck with him of all his experiences among his other selves, the same thing that eventually pushed him travel back to his own Earth, something he had never even just considered doing after having left it behind for good. The boy.

Showing up at his estranged daughter’s door, Rick quickly learnt two things: one, he wasn’t welcome but they let him stay anyway because he was bringing resources they didn’t have and, especially, because Beth was smart enough to figure that there was no denying him; secondly, his daughter’s family was no different from the one he had grown up with. A house full of indifference and neglect, where the kids were left to their own devices, no matter the consequences.

His 10-years-old Morty turned out to be nothing like Rick had been as a child. He was weak, easily scared, too full of stupid hopes and dreams, craving to be nurtured and given the affection that none of the people around him was willing to offer. He was pathetic, even, a crying, shivering mess. And yet, Rick didn’t miss it, the spark of strong willpower and stubbornness that would have allowed the kid to thrive just as Rick himself had done, if properly cultivated.

Useless to say, Rick didn’t hesitate to completely take over Morty’s life. It wasn’t like there was anyone to stop him or to worry or give a damn anyway. He planned on breaking the kid into pieces, literally and figuratively, over and over and over, using his own horrifying experiences as a guide. He would have forced him to accept that there was nothing in his life, in his universe but Rick. Then he would have put him back together, shaped him and molded him into something as resilient as Rick’s own wrecked life had made him. A sharp tool, a deadly weapon, a helpful sidekick. And, perhaps, one day, a partner. Because, whether or not he was willing to admit it, Morty was the first and only person Rick was ever able and ever wished to truly connect with.

[rachelbethhines]

Tangled Salt Marathon - “Rapunzel Knows Best!” ( A first half of S3 Recap)

So I decided to place the recap after Be Very Afraid for several reasons. For starters it’s where the season three hiatus took place. It’s also framed like a cliffhanger episode the same as The Great Tree and Queen for a Day; so while Cassandra’s Revenge is technically the midseason finale, Be Very Afraid functionally servers this narrative purpose better. Finally I want to keep the Cassandra heavy stuff contained in it’s own recap later same as I did for Varian’s arc in season one. 

Also keep in mind, everything I discussed in previous recaps still apply here. Nothings changed and you could argue that the issues I bring up now could have also apply to past seasons; they just happen to be at their worst here. 

Here are the past recaps 

To Filler or Not to Filler

Hey, What Ever Happened to That Varitas, Guy?

What Is the Point?

‘Whatta Twist’

And here are the episodes that’s covered in this recap

Rapunzel’s Return Part 1

Rapunzel’s Return Part 2

Return of the King 

Who’s Afraid of the Big Bad Wolf

The Lost Treasure of Herz Der Sonne

No Time Like the Past

Beginnings 

The King and Queen of Hearts

Day of the Animals 

Be Very Afraid 

Poorly Defined Conflicts 

I’m not just talking about Cassandra’s lack of goals here either, though that is a part of it. I mean in several episodes the central conflict isn’t laid out clearly enough before being resolved.  We flip from one set up to the next without ever resolving the first; like in Rapunzel’s Return when Cass and Varian fight for screen time or whenever Rapunzel is suppose to learn one lesson only for someone else to learn a completely different lesson in every other episode. And to this day I don’t know what Rapunzel and Feldspar’s subplot in Lost Treasure was suppose to be about. 

There’s also of course the ill-defined overall conflict; which at this point has become convoluted and nonsensical to the extreme, and will only grow more aggravatingly stupid as the season progresses. The main villains lack clear goals, their motivations don’t align with previously stated facts, and the actual interesting conflict involving the threat of the rocks and their destruction of people’s lives and homes is just shoved under the rug and forgotten about.  

There is no story without conflict. Having the conflict be all over the place is not only confusing but makes it harder for the audience to invest in what’s going on. 

Failed Narrative Promises 

Tying in with the above statement regarding conflicts, we have failed narrative promises. Rapunzel is repeatedly told to that she needs to learn something in several episodes only for her not to learn it at all. She either learns some unrelated ‘lesson’ that wasn’t established, (like in Rapunzel’s Return with her pervious goal about ‘opening up to others’ being switched out for a generic ‘responsibility’ lesson that at the last minute, where she doesn’t even do anything responsible,) or she winds up ‘teaching’ the opposite lesson to a different character thereby rewarding her for her bad behavior.   

And that’s just within the induvial episodes themselves; there’s also broken narrative promises through out the overall story arc; like...

no justice/redemption for Lady Caine, 

no acknowledgment that the Saporians are the victims of colonization

no conclusion regarding Corona’s murky past

no satisfying ending to Varian’s plot that sees everyone in involve grow

a poor copout of an explanation for Cassandra’s face/heel turn

The Dark Prince reveal going nowhere 

The Brotherhood being put on a bus 

King Frederic, or any royal, not being held accountable for their past actions 

Lance’s new found responsibilities just being thrown away for the tenth time 

The Disciples plot being being dropped 

next to nothing in season two winds up being relevant 

And Rapunzel, the protagonist of a coming of age story, fails to learn anything at all 

I could probably go on but you get the gist. Tangled is incredibly frustrating show to watch because doesn’t deliver what it promises. You’re not being clever by ‘subverting audiences expectations’ unless you can justify your narrative decisions with previous set up. Tangled is too lazy to build proper set ups so it’s ‘twists’ leave you wanting to punch things rather then impressing you. 

Character Assassinations 

Every single character in Tangled the Series gets thrown under a bus, driven off a cliff, and then allowed to drown in the ocean of their completely unaware self-congratulatory smugness.  

Rapunzel is turned into a bully

Cassandra is given the idiot ball to hold permanently 

The King and Queen are lobotomized

Quinin gets replaced by a robot  

The rest of the Brotherhood are pale shadows of what they could have been 

Edmund is transformed from tragic complex figure into a dumb jerkoff who abuses his kid for a laugh 

Zhan Tiri, once an ancient demon warlock, is reduced to a floating impotent ghost girl 

The Saporians become poor hipster parodies

Cap is put on a bus

Any villain who isn’t Cass is gets ignored

Lance is infantilized to the point of absurdity

Eugene becomes a doormat 

and poor Varian is forced to become a complacent victim to his abusers as oppose to being allowed to keeping his dignity 

I think the only person who escapes this mass murder of characterization is freaking Calliope, and she’s hasn’t even appeared yet! (Well okay her and Trevor, maybe) 

This all ties back into the poorly defined conflict and failed narrative promises. Rather than let the characters drive the story, they’ve become puppets to the plot, and plot is really stupid and forced, and circles back in on itself and is full of contradictions. 

Manipulating the Audience’s Empathy to Do the Work for the Writers  

The reason why the creators believe they can get away with such poor characterization and lazy writing is because they expect the audience to do all the heavy lifting for them.  

Cass isn’t given an on screen reason for what she does because they’re hoping her fans will just automatically excuse her because they like her/relate to her and not, you know, get mad at the writers for dumbing her down. And after all who doesn’t love the creator’s pet? Meanies! That’s who! 

No one calls out Rapunzel’s bullshit on screen, because if everyone likes her, then you, viewing audience, should too. Because if you have any sort of independent critical thinking abilities and a sense of right and wrong then clearly you’re ‘just a hater’. 

Everyone should just shut up and be satisfied that Varian is even on screen now and be grateful for the scraps that they get cause he’s not the real point of the show and according to Chris ‘Varian fans aren’t real fans’. Even though they make up most of his viewing audience. 

I could go on, but it’s just variations of the above. The writing in this series is very fond of gaslighting the audience and trying to trick them into justifying the absolute worst behaviors while desperately hoping they doesn’t noticed the continued downgrading and dismissal of characters they do like or once liked.  

And the sad thing is, it’s worked. There are people to this day that still try to justify this show’s shitty morals and bend over backwards to excuse the likes of Rapunzel, Frederic, Cassandra, and Edmund.  Worst, there are loud sections of the fandom, (usually on twitter) who think bullying is okay and follow in Chris and his characters footsteps. Most of them young impressionable girls who are now ripe for TREFS to indoctrinate because they use the same bullying tactics and excuses for authoritarianism. 

Media does effect reality, but not in the way purists and antis would have you believe. No one is going to become a violent manic from playing a video game nor a sex offender because they read a smut fic. But they very much will conform to toxic beliefs if it’s repeated enough at them by authorities they ‘trust’; like say the world wide leading company known for family entertainment and children’s media, and the ‘friends’ they find within the fandom for said company... 

I’m not saying you can’t enjoy Tangled the series or that you’re some how wrong for liking it’s characters, nor do you have to engage with every or any criticism thrown it’s way. But yes you need to think about the media you consume on some level and valid criticism is very much important to the fandom experience for precisely the above reasons. 

Conclusion    

This isn’t even the tip of the iceberg of what’s wrong with this show, but it is most of its biggest problems laid bare. Anything that haven’t covered here or in the past recaps will be explored in the final recap. Cause this is it folks; the last leg of the journey for this retrospective. When come back, hopefully next week, we’ll tackle Pascal’s Dragon.