#if i wanted to write for naruto this would be the first thing i would write

[skywritingrambles]

Me: wow I hate writing fight scenes

Also me: starts a fic that is going to have a lot of fight scenes due to the genre and fandom

How could this have happened

[nanamimizz]

in this au where my naruto self insert gets sent back in time to the founding era and meets tobirama when he is younger and then gets sent back to her time. then we fast forward to the war arc where he sees her as an young woman and feels weird

[moldy-flowers]

NOOOOOOOOOOO

Tsunade: Fully believes in Narutos abilities and has full faith he will be a great Hokage, the best, even.

Konoha public: "Hey what if we made Naruto the sixth Hokage :3"

Tsunade: "what the FUCK are you talking about I watched him cry over a picture of Sasuke yesterday he is NOT prepared for that yet make Kakashi do it"

[inside-lees-mind]

hi could i rq. general konoha 11 + sand siblings nsfw hcs ! (aged up/boruto ver obv) <3

Also: nobody understands Uchihas better than I do and I don’t even like most of em. /j Why are they all practically evil in fics? I’m going crazy. Most of them are clearly softies when it comes to love. Am I right or am I right???

And sorry, you can tell who I have more ideas for and who I was drawing a blank on.

Oh and sorry yall for the gap in my writing. This one took a while. I’ve been working on it for a bit. And part of it got lost and deleted, so I rewrote it. A long with a couple other stories got deleted and I lost some motivation for a moment lol

Konoha 13 + Sand Siblings HCs

Naruto Uzumaki

He’s energetic, and that 100% applies to in bed too.

Likely inexperienced, but eager. And a little nervous.

Talked big game beforehand, but even if you didn’t know before, you definitely know it was all talk now.

That being said, he’s a quick learner, even if he complains about being confused at first.

I think he’d have like little to no knowledge though, being such a loner for a while, in all. Hope you have patience.

That being said, he is a bit of a pervert with what he does know.

Overall though, he’d set a fast pace, but the sex would still be intimate and soft.

Praise. Praise. Praise. Giving and receiving.

Sasuke Uchiha

No experience, but he knows the ins and outs.

He wasn’t too concerned with sex or anything of that matter before, but when he returned to Konoha, he realized he had feelings for you. So he starts to think about it.

He’s not a pervert like Kakashi or Naruto, and he’d never lose his cool over sexy jutsu, BUTTT he’s secretly horny as hell. Like low sex drive usually, but just being around you makes it sky rocket to abnormal levels.

He’s very private about sex though, so usually only happens in your bedroom or… cough cough in a quiet forest with nobody around cough cough (if you know, you know)

He’s got a breeding kink. Next question.

Uses a mix of degradation and praises.

Lots of demanding, but also lots of giving soooo…

I truly believe Sasuke would be a softer partner than people make him out to be. Like did yall watch Boruto or not?? He’s got awkward and sweet energy. He’s TRYING. He’s emotionally stunted yall.

More dominant and likes to be in control, but will fall apart in your arms anyways. Usually more of a soft dom than anything.

One of the most likely to be fairly kinky though. I think he’d slowly discover he’s into things as they occur or cross his mind.

Sakura Haruno

She knows a lot about the human body.

Might have experience, might not. I could see it either way.

I think your first time with her would happen after like a romantic dinner together. And it would be romantic and slow.

But… that depends on you, because she’ll mostly go with what you want. It makes her happy.

She’s okay with being degraded or praised, but she really only likes to praise you.

Low sex drive.

She likes any position she can see your face.

She’s a switch, depends on her partner’s preference.

Sai Yamanaka

(Obviously not married here but just to have a last name to add)

He read a book about what to do.

Probably does something incredibly stupid at first, but that being said, he’s not an idiot, so not too bad.

You’d probably have to correct him a little bit. Also, tell him to forget the book and just go with the feeling and follow your lead.

You’d be in the lead at first. Probably go down on him first thing.

He’s not small. (I mean did you hear the way he talked to Naruto? He’s probably got something to work with if he’s talking so confidently LMFAO)

So you’d probably have to use your hand for the base while your mouth sucks on about half or so of his cock.

His hand tangles in your hair/rests on top, not pulling, but resting there.

He throws his head back, letting out soft sighs and small moans that escape his lips. He’s not trying to be quiet, but he’s not loud either.

Although, he might have read girls don’t like when guys make noise. Who knows. Then you might have to tell him that’s not true.

At first, sex is just discovering things with him. You’re both exploring how everything feels.

But, after a few times, he starts taking the lead and initiating.

He has a low sex drive though, so he won’t initiate too often.

It’s also hard to get him to realize what you’re asking for if you drop hints. He saw your underwear when you bent over… okay. He might even comment on how you should be more careful since he knows you don’t like to expose yourself so much.

You just deadpan and tell him it was supposed to turn him on.

“Oh.” And now he’s unbuckling his pants and asking you to come sit on his lap. :)

Shikamaru Nara

Low sex drive, usually at least, because now he’s consumed by the desire to be rode by you. Like he dreams about it.

He calls you troublesome to himself when he wakes up hard in the morning occasionally.

He lowkey loves to just lay between your legs or have you sit on his face so he can eat you out (pussy or ass, don’t matter)

Lazy morning sex. He loves it.

He’s dominant, but he can be rather lazy most the time. That being said, he will fuck you how you want him to if you ask.

Degrading but he’s not super mean about it at all. More like soft grunts with degrading terms, but the rest of it comes out more like soft sighs and groans of pleasure and praise.

Choji Akimichi

The sweetest. He takes his time with you every time.

Body worship. More so giving than receiving, but he’ll be a blushing mess if you give back the same energy.

Praise. Lots of it.

He’d be the type to kiss down your body, from your lips to your neck to your chest all the way down til he gets between your legs.

He can’t bring himself to be rough or harsh with you in anyway. No degradation, rough sex, or anything.

Likes to be able to see your face during sex.

He’d like to try food play.

Ino Yamanaka

Pillow princess unless asked to do otherwise.

She loves to be praised and worshipped, but also likes things rougher.

She’s a bit of a brat about things. Constantly going against what you say for fun.

She does it on purpose so you’ll go rougher on her, she likes it.

She also likes when things are slow and romantic though.

And she’d love it if you planned like a candlelit dinner and put a trail of rose petals on like Valentine’s Day, or even just cuz.

Shino Aburame

He’s in charge. He’s on top. Whatever. He doesn’t like to not have control.

He also just wants to please you, and often he’s not too worried about himself.

Might get a little self conscious if you skip over touching him or giving him head more than once. Like if it’s been a few times now and you haven’t bothered… did he do something?

He doesn’t need it, but he just… you know how he is.

He doesn’t make much noise.

But I do believe that right before he cums, he whimpers. He can’t help it, and don’t bring it up afterwards. He’ll be so embarrassed and not want to do it for a while because he’s scared he’ll do it again.

If he gets like that, just tell him you loved it. Then go down on him and tell him you wanna make him do it again.

He’s good with his hands, I just know it.

He can go rough and be stern and demanding, but other than that, he’s rather vanilla.

He’s a big fan of missionary so he can see your face.

And he doesn’t want to do anything unless it’s in your own home or absolute private, like an inn.

Kiba Inuzuka

Hickeys.

He loves giving them.

You will have like 20. From your jaw to your thighs, he’s marked. Plenty of them are visible and hard to hide because they’re dark.

He doesn’t exactly take his time. No, those hickeys are from the entire act. He starts leaving them during foreplay, then when he’s pounding into you, he quiets himself down by latching onto your skin.

When he eats you out, he leaves bite marks and hickeys around your thighs.

He calls it “marking his territory” then has to explain himself because no he doesn’t mean you’re a territory, you’re not a place or an object… he just… you’re his partner!

He’s rough.

Likes doggystyle most, but then he gets upset that he can’t see your face and next time he sets up a mirror.

Quickies. He can’t wait. He’ll whine if you tell him NO he can’t fuck you under the blanket, because YES people will notice the movement.

You might want to settle and pull him into a bathroom and let him fuck you over the counter, but he won’t force or beg you to the point of you giving in or anything. He’ll wait if you really mean no.

He’s got a high sex drive

Very likely to be pretty kinky. He’d be willing to tie you up, spank you, degrade you, etc.

He won’t do pet play. Thinks that shit is weird. So don’t think that because he’s a dog user, he’s gonna act dog like or have you act dog like. In fact, he’s more likely to hate it as a dog user.

I think he’d find any roleplay to be useless though. You could convince him if you wanted, but he’ll complain.

Hinata Hyuga

Much more intimate and gentle sex is what she wants

She’s not a pillow princess. She literally fantasizes about pleasing her partner.

Like probably day dreams, gets lost in her own thoughts, then is a blushing mess when she realizes that somebody is talking to her and she’s imagining what your moans would sound like when she’s between your legs, ESPECIALLY if the person talking to her is you.

She likes to do it in private, but she can’t deny that she imagines doing it where you both currently are. Not that she would.

Secretly has a high sex drive

Long refractory period though. She needs breaks between rounds.

Neji Hyuga

Took him a while to get vulnerable enough to take off his clothes if he’s being honest

Also I think Hyuga’s are very reserved and conservative until marriage, but he has such a tough time following that.

He really wants to jump your bones. And it’s almost like the fact he can’t because of his clan’s reserved and traditional nature just makes it WAYYYY more tempting.

You’re literally irresistible to him

Secretly, he’s just a little bit of a pervert. (Like Rock Lee’s Ninja Pals says he is)

I think he would have wet dreams from sexual frustration. Like the longer he holds back from having you under him, the worse it gets. Like a disease with no treatment.

I think your first time with him would be sudden, and it would be his first time ever.

You’d look WAYYYYY to good, and this time he can’t bring himself to ignore the boner he gets. No he’s gotta see if you’ll indulge him.

He may stop and pull away, get his act together if you remind him of his clan’s pride, and how he was so bent on following it before.

Maybe the first time, but by the next time he tries to give in, there is no try. He is cancelling any plans y’all had and tearing the outfit that made your body look so irresistible off.

He doesn’t have a super high sex drive, but he has such a hard time resisting just laying you down when you look so damn good. You are the reason he’s horny.

He loves when you ride him, and he WILL whimper. He tries not to, but Neji can’t be silent with the way you are squeezing him. The way you do it is so perfect, every bounce is drawing a noise out of him until he’s literally just letting out a stream of loud whimpers as he cums.

I think his cum would actually taste good. Next question.

Rock Lee

Perverted…

He feels bad for it when he catches himself, but Oop it’s too late… he’s got a boner

Boners are obvious in that green spandex…

He wouldn’t agree with doing it in public or semi-public though, but if you noticed his behavior or boner and pulled him off into the bathroom, ignoring his “this is indecent!” Protests because when you look at him before diving in to give him head, his eyes are literally pleading and he shuts up, pushing his hips towards your face.

He can’t be quiet so you’ll have stuff something in his mouth or cover it with your hand.

He secretly wants your chest in his face. He’s a chest guy. Boobs, pecks, whatever. He loves everything chest.

But he also loves ass. Small or big. Wants to grab a handful anyways.

Total switch

Because listen, he loves to pin your hips down and force you to accept the pleasure you’re trying to deny yourself.

Loves to pound his hips against yours until you’re a mess, but he also loves to do as you say.

He loves to be broken down until he’s in pieces by your mouth, body, words, whatever.

He whimpers like constantly, especially when he’s submissive. He tries to shut up when he’s dirty talking as he’s in charge, but he lets GO otherwise.

Tenten

I’m sorry her portion of this will be… lacking. I don’t know enough to say much. I love her, but I’ve never really thought about this at all.

I think she’d be a switch, but prefers to be in charge.

I think she’s depend greatly on you though.

If you don’t want to bottom/sub, that’s good.

Or vise versa.

She likes to take her time when she’s in control.

She’s fairly willing to try new things if you want to.

She enjoys going down on you most of all.

Gaara of the Sand

He’s very private about everything. He believes that his private life and his kazekage life should stay relatively separate. However, it is known that you are his partner. That’s no secret.

He’s not super into PDA, so it’s no surprise that he refuses to do anything risky or public in anyway.

He will not do it in the kazekage’s office. He has too much respect for it, but he also doesn’t want to get caught anyways.

He’s very intimate during. Slow and sensual for sure.

I can see him being into bondage, but like you get tied up, not him. But… depends. And might take some encouragement.

Refuses to hurt or degrade you for any reason. He only does praise. He could not bring himself to call you names or anything. Or to draw blood from you or hit you, etc. he doesn’t see why those things should be brought into the bedroom for “fun.”

He doesn’t think they’re fun.

He knew like nothing about sex before you. I actually think he’d have no idea how to initiate at first so you definitely initiated it.

I think he’d be the type you have to teach what to do a bit, but he gets the hang of it quickly. Then next time, he’s got every spot memorized.

Awkward. Like the first couple times were awkward, but romantic and cute.

Kankuro of the Sand

One word: kinky.

He likes to degrade you with a shit eating grin on his face. His degradation feels like a compliment most of the time though. Like he calls you a slut and it feels like he’s calling you a prince/princess. It’s confusing.

He’s so good at dirty talk. He’ll have you writhing in your spot, desperate for him and he’s not even touched you yet.

He’s got incredible patience when it comes to you. He takes his time breaking you down into a mess for him.

His face paint would 10 billion percent be smeared across your thighs and chest. Your neck is purple from bites AND his face paint to the point you can’t tell which is which.

Only when you wash off the face paint do you realize he left way too many dark hickeys that’ll probably take at least a week to fade away.

Confront him about this and he’ll just laugh.

Don’t tempt him to leave more, because he will.

He forces you to maintain eye contact when he goes down on you. If you look away for more than like 3 seconds, he give you a little tap as a warning, but twice and he stops.

Orgasm denial for sure. He would be the type to make up an excuse as to why he pulled away. He tells you all sorts of excuses. “You weren’t moaning enough.” “You moved your hips too much. Stay still.” And of course, “you looked away.”

He can make you cum hard almost every single time. You see stars.

The most fun part for him isn’t dicking you down, it’s the breaking you apart and putting you back together again.

Temari of the Sand

Dominant. Dommy mommy for sure.

Even when she decides to “sub” or “bottom,” she’s not doing a good job at it. She’s still telling you what to do, where to move, etc.

She’ll pull your hair, slap you, etc. as long as you are okay with it and want her to.

Loves to boss you around, telling you what she wants. Demanding you to please her.

“Get on your knees”

Head pusher for sure, but you two have a like physical que to let each other know when it’s enough.

All that being said, sometimes she really really just wants sweet, slow sex. Intimate nights filled with nothing but love.

She likes to keep all of this private though. No public or risky stuff.

However, she does like to do it beyond just in bed.

Would be the type to start kissing all over your neck, unbuttoning your shirt while you’re trying to cook breakfast.

You might want to turn the stove off.

[badgalsasuke]

My thoughts on the Naruto ending

So I had said I was gonna post about my feelings and thoughts regarding the Naruto finale that might contain a few hot takes for some people, so here it is.

THIS IS GONNA BE A LONG POST.

The Naruto ending is universally disliked, there's not doubt in that. Veteran SNS shippers don't like it because Naruto and Sasuke end up with women they don't love and aren't attracted to, and believe Naruto and Sasuke could've end up "single" with no ships confirmed; younger SNS shippers that weren't there when Naruto was still coming out believe they should've ended up together even though that could have not been plausible due to the manga industry quite conservative practices. Het!shippers on the other hand, believe the ending is bad for two different reasons: the first being that some believe that Narusaku and Sasukarin would've made more sense than SS and NH (some say just Narusaku and Sasuke should've stayed single); the second being that although they like SS and NH and the potential they believe these ships have "but wasn't explored further", Kishimoto can't write romance so he messed up both ships, making them bland and barely romantic.

Another reason why the ending is disliked for non-shipping reasons and mostly by Sasuke stans, is that even though in the couple chapters before the 700th one Naruto and Sasuke talk about changing the shinobi system, we see in Boruto that the system has not been changed at all and instead Naruto and Sasuke are reinforcing it despite all the oppression and suffering they were put through it in its name. We even see Itachi, the man who committed genocide being lauded as a hero for his actions and zero reflection on Konoha as a genocidal State. Oh and the Hyuga clan still practices slavery.

So here I come to say the following: Naruto's ending makes sense.

Now before y'all tear me to pieces let me explain myself. The first time I read the finale I thought it was stupid, one reason being that the ships make no sense no matter the angle you try to look at them and the other reason being that Sasuke was now working for the same State that murdered his clan with Naruto now as the head of that same State and making no changes to the Shinobi system (not a very good look on him, right?), so I thought for many years that the ending sucked.

Then The Last, Boruto and Sasuke Retsuden came out and all I could think was "woah this is all really shit from the butt".

But then one day when I was thinking about the manga as a whole, mostly because I was starting to realize that Kishimoto was being intentional in his writing of Naruto and Sasuke's romantic bond and it wasn't accidental like most of the fandom thinks, I just started connecting dots and trying to make sense of the whole story and seeing how the ending fitted into that. I'm someone that whenever it comes to literary analysis and criticism always tries to think about what was the author intention before I label something as bad because it wasn't my personal preference how something was written.

And that's how I realized what there was theme to the Naruto ending is. It's all about conformity.

Now, don't get me wrong the Naruto ending still has flaws, two big ones in my opinion, which I'll point out further down the post, but what I want to do is show you the forest because I feel the fandom is mostly focused on a couple of trees when it comes to the finale. I want you to see the thread of events Kishimoto created and how he was trying to keep it as in character as possible.

So first things first. If you've read Kishimoto interviews over the years then you would know what was the ending he had envisioned: chapter 698. He talks about how he wanted Naruto and Sasuke to have their final fight, make ammends and change the shinobi system together. He achieved two out those three things he intended.

In a quite controversial interview that most of the fandom likes to ignore, Kishimoto stated that he had no emotional attachement to Naruto and Hinata as a couple and it was Studio Pierrot who had pitched the whole thing about The Last movie. He also states that he decided to make NH endgame after Shippuden had started and he had also considered Narusaku as well, but then in another interview that came later he started saying he had intended to make NH canon since the very beginning. He was constantly contradicting himself in these interviews over the years. Kishimoto has also expressed his distate for SS and Sakura's character in general in different interviews.

So what I personally believe is that Kishimoto's editorial, Shueisha, made him change his statements because saying he had no plans for NH and it was Studio Pierrot idea was quite damaging to the franchise (no wonder the interview got kinda buried too, lol).

I think the biggest challenge for Kishimoto was giving the editorial, the studio and most of the fandom the het!ships they wanted without compromising as much the characters the story of his manga revolves around, Naruto and Sasuke.

So we get to ch. 699 where I believe Kishimoto is laying the ground for the finale we ended up getting.

In ch. 698 it seemed like Naruto and Sasuke had been able to resolve their issues and been able to talk about their feelings for each other. Something Sasuke repeats in ch. 699, a chapter entirely narrated by him. However right at the end of ch. 699 we get what seems to be a regression of what we had seen in the previous chapter.

It is implied that Naruto and Sasuke had an argument off-screen hence why Sasuke thought Naruto would not come to see him and bid him farewell before his atonement journey. What was the argument about is never really explained, some fans speculate Naruto was upset about Sasuke going on an atonement journey considering Naruto had pleaded for Sasuke to not be imprisoned and saw no reason for Sasuke to go on a redemption trip. I personally believe it had something to do with Naruto failing to come to terms with his feelings for Sasuke because, as we see right away, Naruto gives Sasuke back his headband and Sasuke says he'll keep it until they have their real fight which is interesting, to say the least, because didn't we just see their real fight the literal prior chapter? basically, we're being told Naruto and Sasuke haven't been able to truly talk about their feelings and put into words what their relationship really is about hence why Sasuke keeps the headband. As long as Sasuke has the headband, it will mean Naruto hasn't been able to truly accept what he feels for Sasuke. In essence, ch. 699 is Kishimoto retconning ch. 698 to give way to what comes later.

After chapter 700 came out we started getting so much content, both filler and canon, that tries to explain how we got there. Let's start with The Last, the movie that tries to explain how the heck Naruto ended up with Hinata.

The Last is sort of a hybrid, it's written for the most part by Studio Pierrot employees who had the idea in the first place and Kishimoto corrected a few things here and there and is also what for me, makes the ending flawed for one big reason: Naruto's character assassination.

Naruto is a shonen manga that's more focused and concerned on it's emotional battles and communicates it to the audience through it's physical battles rather than the powerscaling stuff Naruto dudebros would have you thinking the manga is actually about. So this means that Naruto, its main character, spends the entire manga learning about his feelings and putting them into words. That's what his story is mainly about; learning to love and to be loved.

The Last undoes this in the stupidest way possible. To give Naruto an excuse on why he always ignored Hinata they intend to make the audience believe it's because "Naruto doesn't know what love is" by writing Naruto not being able to differentiate between loving someone and liking ramen. This is absolute nuts. We know that Naruto understands what is love, what is not love and that love doesn't come out of nowhere, we see that when Sakura fake confesses to Naruto, he's able to spot right away she's not being genuine because he understands those three things. So this is the first flaw of the Naruto ending for me.

The second flaw is the dismissal of Kurama and Naruto's status as a Jinchuuriki. I find the most embarrasing thing about The Last to be that they had to put Naruto through a genjutsu so he could hallucinate "memories of Hinata being there for him but he was too dumb to notice" but it's even worse once you remember that Naruto canonically should not be able to be put through a genjutsu in the first place. Studio Pierrot had to break rules of Kishimoto's universe in order to give NH some mediocre development and to me this will always be the worst part of the finale. If you can't make a ship work within the universe rules, then why make it a thing at all?

Some people didn't like that Hinata is totally useless in the movie, but for me this is not a flaw, as it is entirely in character with who she is in the manga. Making her a mary sue out of nowhere on the other hand, would be a flaw of the story.

Now that I've talked about what I think are the flaws of the Naruto ending, let's talk about the things that work in The Last (and I believe is where Kishimoto put his input) to make the finale make sense. The first one being that Sakura is the one that pushes Naruto to be with Hinata. In the manga we see several times Sakura is insecure about Naruto and Sasuke's bond and being jealous of Naruto's spot in Sasuke's heart. Even Hinata is baffled by Sakura wanting to help her and asks her why she's doing all that because she knows they're not friends. We then see Sakura think about Sasuke (who's also conviniently excluded from the movie) and simply say "we, girls, should support each other", she wants Naruto out of the picture so she can have Sasuke for herself and she succeeded. It's also important to note that once Sakura got what she wanted she no longer pretended to be a friend of Hinata, she didn't even kept close contact with Naruto either as we see in Naruto Gaiden, Sarada and Naruto don't know each other like that at all, if Sakura was being a genuine friend to Hinata and Naruto, she would've kept her family close to Naruto's but she didn't.

One more thing that I find works about The Last is that Naruto doesn't passionately fall in love with Hinata, but instead is constantly guilt-tripped into liking her, which is more true to his character. You have a man already struggling to accept his sexuality, who also has his deceased mother's expectation of marrying a girl and on top of that is a pathological people pleaser, of course he's gonna marry the first girl that tells him she loves him. It makes sense this all happened while Sasuke was not in the village. Naruto panicked about his sexual identity and rushed to marry an "acceptable woman" in the eyes of the people whose approval he craves, as we see in the special chapter Kishimoto wrote that came out after The Last: the villagers fawning over Konoha's hero dating the Hyuga heiress.

Likewise, Sasuke not attending Naruto's wedding helps the ending not be as contrived or out of character of them. Kishimoto never wrote anything on why Sasuke skipped the wedding as far as I can recall, but in the episodes that Studio Pierrot made dedicated to Naruto's wedding we see a Sasuke completely absent and detached from the event, something Naruto dudebros use to dunk on him because that made him a terrible friend from their perspective, but as usual they're not paying attention to the full narrative Kishimoto is creating here.

Making Sasuke be happy for Naruto and attend his wedding and give him a gift and all that crap, would've made het!shippers and Naruto dudebros happy but it would be at the expense of his character and the story Kishimoto was writing. Remember, Sasuke had kept the headband all these time until he could have his real fight with Naruto, meaning he was waiting for Naruto to be honest about his feelings for him, so him not attending Naruto's wedding is a way to communicate to the audience (at least the part that's paying attention) that Sasuke is heartbroken by the news.

I believe this is why Kishimoto designed adult Sasuke the way he did and makes him dress the way he does as an adult. All black and depressing. I also believe that Sasuke will stop dressing that way the minute he and Naruto have their real fight, if they ever have it, that is.

Additionally, Kishimoto nailed making NH canon before SS would be canon. Naruto, as I stated before, is the one that struggles with his identity and feelings for Sasuke and the one that has the expectations to marry a woman so it makes sense that he would be the one to marry a woman first. SS becoming canon first wouldn't make sense because not only is Sasuke more outspoken about his contempt for Sakura, whereas Naruto remains polite and neutral to Hinata's feelings, but Sasuke also has no reason to be with Sakura if Naruto is still available, in fact, Kishimoto making Sakura be the one to chase Sasuke after Naruto's wedding because Sasuke never came back, as we see it stated in Naruto Gaiden ch. 10, is also in character for both Sasuke and Sakura, instead of writing it the other way around like SS shippers wished, y'know their whole thing about Sasuke coming back to the village for Sakura and apologizing to her because he didn't realize how much he actually loved her because he was trapped in the darkness blah blah blah (I think this is what happens in filler novel Sasuke shinden lol).

If Naruto is not available, then Sasuke is in a very emotionally vulnerable position and Sakura took advantage of that. You see the narrative Kishimoto is creating here? There's a thread to follow on why stuff happened they way it did.

Now, I mentioned before that the theme of the Naruto finale was conformity. Here's where I explain how:

The first thing is Naruto's physical appearance. Kishimoto liked to draw a young Naruto all punk and grunge. He even had already made a design of adult Naruto where Naruto looks, well, cool and HOT.

Yet, for the actual finale he gave us an ugly Naruto, but also a Naruto that looks tired and exhausted. How does this tie with the conformity theme? when Naruto was young he used to go against the rules, defy expectations people had of him, tell authorities to fuck off. Like, when he was told to give up on Sasuke when he was 12, Naruto responded "If giving up on Sasuke makes me wise, I'd rather be fool my entire life", this man was a rebel. But as an adult we see him become the head of State that continues to reproduce the status quo that had once oppressed him. Naruto turned apathetic, his appearance reflects his attitude.

And this is consistent with the narrative Kishimoto's been crafting. Just in the same way Naruto conformed to society's expectation when he married a woman he doesn't love and barely knows, he also conformed and succumbed to the shinobi world status quo. It would *make zero sense* for Naruto to revolutionize the shinobi world while married to princess slaver Hinata Hyuga, that'd be an oxymoron, completely contradictory narrative wise. Certainly, Naruto always struggled to find an ideology, to put it in some way, when it came to Konoha and its ninjas practices and had a messed up perception of its villagers (see: the whole Dark Naruto mini plot) but he still wanted to change the shinobi world WITH SASUKE by his side, once the story established they don't end up together and Sasuke isn't by his side, Naruto doesn't care anymore.

This is why I don't find strange that Kishimoto wrote Naruto oversleeping in the eve of his name day as Hokage, a day Naruto had once dreamt about when he was a child. The spark is gone.

But the spark isn't just gone for Naruto, it's also gone for Kishimoto. Naruto didn't even attend his name day because he was knocked out by Himawari. This is Kishimoto being petty. He spent 15 years writing a story where the goal was to see Naruto become Hokage and he knew how anticipated this moment was and he still went and ruined it for the fans anyway. Naruto dudebros were furious about this, but not once did they stop to wonder about the implications of this, what it said about Kishimoto's relationship with his work if it had gotten to the point he went and "fucked it up".

Naruto cared about the state of the world before he became indifferent to it. This is why when Sasuke stans complain about Naruto not actually caring about Sasuke's trauma but can never really explain why Naruto is like that as an adult. They try to pretend Naruto never cared but this is a lie, kid and teenage Naruto was compassionate to Sasuke's trauma and pain even if he didn't always managed it in the best way possible. So, I always feel like they're missing this particular piece of the puzzle: if Naruto can't be his true self then he cannot change the world and neither can Sasuke.

Because the same thing occurs to Sasuke. One blog once posted that Sasuke not caring about his child is out of character, but Sasuke not caring about Sakura's child is very much in character and I feel that sums up Kishimoto's writing of both adult Sasuke and Naruto. This passiveness you wouldn't imagine from their younger selves, takes a hold of them once they become adults and gradually "get in line" to be a part of the real world. Sasuke doesn't care about his child because he had her with a woman he doesn't even like or respect. Sasuke is stuck in time still holding onto that headband, hoping he and Naruto will one day have their real battle.

Sasuke uses the forehead poke, a gesture he always hated, on his wife and child because he, just like his brother to him, wants to distance himself from them. Sasuke now serves the same village that plotted the mass murder of his clan and family because why not? his brother is lauded as a hero for killing his entire clan after all. Sasuke too, has conformed.

I actually wonder if this is in some way linked to modern Japanese culture. Japanese culture and society are deeply conformist with everybody is always trying to fulfill roles imposed in them, always trying to achieve what is expected of them. It could also be about how adulthood sucks the passion and hopes out of the youth (Kishimoto started writing Naruto when he was 24 and finished when he was in his forties). And of course, the closeting of queer people leading miserable lives as pretenders.

If Sasuke is meant to end up with Sakura and Naruto is meant to end up with Hinata then Kishimoto cannot make them happy marriages and give them happy families, he also cannot keep Naruto and Sasuke as revolutionary outcasts that stand up against the status quo, that fanservice would be out of character and out of theme.

This is what I mean when I say the ending makes sense, once you see the finale is all about conformity the thread of events becomes understandable and more heartbreaking too. You don't have to like it, but I do think we have to understand where is Kishimoto coming from when he wrote it the way he did.

The Naruto fandom wanted black and grey from Kishimoto and that's exactly what Kishimoto gave them, black and grey.

EDIT: I've written more on how the conformity theme starts to become present in the series as far back as in Neji's death, check it out HERE

[kurokawaia]

thoughts on sasuke with pregnant reader (˶˃ ᵕ ˂˶) (don't feel pressured if you don't want to write it Honey!! you know i love what you write either way 🫂)

Oh my goodness^^ ofc i'll share my thoughts nonnie!! you're too sweet omg 🫂🫂

CW/TW :: pregnancy, fem!reader, thelast!sasuke/postwar!sasuke, reader is a medical ninja

I can just imagine that on his travels that you are there with him. He is the one that asked you to come which surprised you because you'd never thought he would, until he did. During the time you were together, wondering outside the village, going to various places, you landed up pregnant.

This wasn't something to be disappointed of! No! In fact, Sasuke was the one who first brought up the topic, expressing his interest and you wanted to as well. The only problem was... how dangerous it would be for you now that you are having a child.

Sasuke and you managed to come to an agreement, that you'd go back to the village and he'd continue to travel around for two weeks before coming back for a week to spend time with you until you were further along, to which he'd stay three weeks and leave for only a couple days.

You were around 19 weeks pregnant and the both of you have been in the village for only a mere couple of hours after reporting in with the Hokage. He didn't even suspect a thing, you were wearing a coat which covered your body so he couldn't tell, only that you informed him that you wouldn't be travelling anymore due to some health issues.

But, this is were all the 'drama' starts. You're out getting some groceries because there is nothing in the house, nothing. You changed out from your ninja attire to something more comfortable, a fitted maxi dress which did, very obviously, show of your growing baby bump. Casually, you were just plopping in the stuff you and Sasuke needed into the smaller trolley's (sasuke isn't here bc naruto dragged him away to get some ramen, you said you're a strong independent woman who can shop herself (●'◡'●) )

This is when the stares start to begin. Because not only can they see your pregnant, but they can see the Uchiha Clan symbol sewn onto the back of your dress. The Uchiha symbol on your back wasn’t exactly subtle, and with your bump showing, it was pretty clear who you were and what was going on. You can feel the stares, you were only gone for what 7 months, that's not that long but you guessed that it was the fact that you left not pregnant and came back so.

It wasn’t every day they saw Sasuke Uchiha’s partner out and about anyways, since you work at the hospital AND being pregnant. That's a shocker. A group of older women passed by, their eyes lingering a little longer than usual. You didn’t blame them. Sasuke wasn’t exactly the type to be open about his personal life, and here you were, very obviously carrying his child. They probably never expected to see this side of him.

After a while, you headed to the checkout, noticing the stares hadn’t really stopped. You couldn’t help but think about how different life was now. Being with Sasuke always meant people were watching, but now, with a baby on the way, it felt even more intense. But you knew it is only because they never thought they'd ever see the day he'd settle down, and now he has!

Do not copy, steal, modify, etc. Relogs and like are appreciated.

[scremogirl]

✪⁂✫彡𝐎𝐍𝐄𝐒𝐇𝐎𝐓✵✥☆ミ★ ???

𝐀𝐛𝐨𝐯𝐞-𝐀𝐯𝐞𝐫��𝐠𝐞

Yandere Student Council Pres x Nonchalant reader

I’m not sure if I should retitle this to Yandere! Childhood friend x reader or not. There’s not a lot of the fact he’s the SCP shown in the story. I felt like I went a little off track. I got so consumed in writing😭. I already have a post like that on my page so I didn’t want to make it confusing. I don’t know if I should’ve said unemotional reader either. Idk let me know what you think. Have fun reading!

He was at the top of the food chain. Good grades, teachers liked him, students feared him, rich, good looking, and most importantly; the student council president. With that being said, why wouldn’t he leave you alone?

Takenya was a stuck up priss in your opinion. Always lecturing you about things you could do in order of improvement. You weren’t popular but you weren’t one of those weird Naruto kids that sat in the back of the class and ate crayons either. You just existed. Someone so average at everything somehow attracted the most “perfect” guy in school. Your grades were fine; a straight A-B student with the occasional C here and there. Your attendance on the other hand… well maybe he’s not so wrong about that, but who actually wants to be at school anyways?

“I don’t understand why you don’t try harder? You could easily surpass most of our class,”

“You need to come to school. This behavior would never pass in the real world. What would your employer think of you just not showing up?”

“Chocolate for lunch…really? If you want to stay healthy you’ll need to-“

Why does he care so much anyways? Sure, you used to be friends in like what, fifth grade? You used to get bullied in school for being different. You just didn’t like the things that kids your age were supposed to like. But… it never bothered you. You weren’t emotionless per se, it’s just, why care what others have to think?

Mellisa Grey. The girliest of all girls. She used to have it out for you when you were younger. Calling you names and bumping your shoulder whenever you walked by. You put up with it until the end of the year; fifth grade graduation. That evening she and her crew thought it’d be funny to pour milk on the shy little nerdy boy in your class. Some spilled on your dress, that you didn’t mind, but the tears of the boy next to you made you. Something inside of you just snapped. You shot up from your seat grabbing a first full of her hair and slammed her head onto the wooden table. Not stopping until you saw the wire of her pink, sparkly braces fly out her mouth. Well, that was what you wanted to do; the teachers came too early for you to inflict any further damage. The most you got was a broken nose and a lawsuit. She transferred schools after that, and you got the whoopin of a lifetime. You didn’t care. You didn’t feel bad at all. If anything you felt elated seeing her in pain and the rage on her parents faces as the cussed child you out. You didn’t cry or yell when your parents picked you up. You weren’t phased by the belt or the palm of your mothers hand striking you. You didn’t feel anything. So why were you so upset on someone else's behalf anyways?

You knew this kid. I mean, how couldn’t you when he would follow you around 24/7.

“H-Hi… my names Takenya” you just blankly stared. His sheepish gaze barely meets yours from behind his big fat glasses.

“…Do I know you?”

“Well…no. But I know you!”

“Good for you I guess.” You continued to go back and forth on the swing, not acknowledging the boy's existence at all. The swing he sat on remained stationary, never once dropping his gaze from you.

“Uhm… I just wanted to thank you for yesterday,” Hm? What was he talking about? He saw the confusion in your face when you turned around to ask and beat you to the point.

“You probably don’t know me. We’re not in the same class,” Right. So why is he talking to you? Again, before you could ask he cut you off.

“The other day when recess started you helped me pick up all of my stuff after Carter pushed me down; remember? I-I just wanted to say thank you for sticking up for me” Ohhh, you do remember him now. He was that shy little rich kid that transferred here at the end of fourth grade. He didn’t have many friends, let alone any at all. Everyone had grown up with each other and formed friend groups at this poin. He was a little late to the party so he didn’t fit in. He wasn’t worried about the next episode of Ninjago and didn’t find humor in looking up the words penis and vagina in the dictionary at the school library when the teacher wasn’t looking. His hair long, tied back into a neat ponytail and not buzzed into a Mohawk like half the boys in your grade. He had glasses that almost covered the entirety of his upper face. He always ate his pb&js on whole wheat instead of white and preferred celery sticks over fruit snacks. So, just like you, he got bullied just because he was different.

“Oh yea. I remember you now. You’re welcome by the way,” he grinned. The first time you saw him smile ever since he came to your school.

That marked the day of a long friendship.

That was until you went to middle school. You think puberty had something to do with it. He grew into his face more and sized down those jellyfishing glasses. His scrawny figure gained slightly more bulk and dressed in a more modern fashion. His hair remained the same; a bit shorter than before but still longer than most guys. You’ve always liked his hair. He would let you braid it sometimes when he was too distracted playing on his DS. He didn’t get acne like many of the other kids your grade either, skin smooth and clear. All the girls found him to die for. Your nonchalant behavior rubbed off on him and he became more confident in himself. Not letting his elementary school self be reflected into now. He became a bit too obsessed with his studies for a middle schooler; pushing all his ways on you. He would always follow you around blabbing about not attending gym class. He even started hanging around the same snotty rich kids he would complain to you about. You became annoyed. So you cut him off. Just like that. Stopped talking to him, answering his texts, not sitting with him at lunch or in class. Even after all the rejection at his advances, he came running back to you. Not willing to let you go so easily.

The school bell rings signaling the end of 4th pd and beginning of lunch. You were planning to go off campus today and not come back. Keys in hand you make your way to the student parking lot. However, someone’s blocking the exit. He’s gotten taller, about 6’2-6’3; sleeper build accommodating his height. Glasses thinner and sit perfectly on the bridge of his nose. Hair as long as ever, tyed back with that same white ribbon you gave him years ago; revealing an undercut. He fixes the collar of his button up and readjusts his tie and vest.

“And exactly…just where do you think your going?”

“To lunch,”

“The cafeteria is that way,” he points with a slender finger, decorated by a diamond ring. It shimers under the lights above reflecting against his matching earrings.

“Off campus,” he raises his eyebrow, folding his arms.

“Knowing you, you won’t come back. You do realize your request for a half day schedule is still pending right? You also recognize that I’m the one who assists the principal in granting them as well?” You don’t answer him, already knowing we're going with this.

“As I said before, your attendance needs improving before I-… we can grant it,” what a pain in the ass this guy is. You try to walk past him but he stops you, putting a hand on your shoulder.

“I don’t eat school lunch. I’ll be back after,” he gives you an unamused look. Hand gripping your shoulder a little tighter as you try to take another step.

“You know I can’t let you do that. Not unless you don’t want a new schedule,” he pauses.

“Not unless I come with you,” you look up.

“You’re paying?” His eyes widened slightly, shocked at your willingness. But he can’t be too surprised, he knows you don’t care about anything unless you get what you want.

“Of course I am. You need to spend your money on other priorities; like a new math textbook,” you ignore the subtle jab and walk to his car. No need to ask where as he parks next to you everyday to make sure he knows you’ve actually show up. Definitely not because your the first thing he wants to see in the morning.

“I don’t understand why you come to McDonald’s of all places,” he lets out a sigh, handing his card to the drive through worker. He drives up to the next window waiting for the food.

“It’s not healthy. You seriously should consider my offer in taking you to that new place down the street,”. He looks over when he doesn’t get a response; noticing the music blasting from your headphones as you look at the door. He sighs again before taking the food from the workers hand and grabbing your headphones. You turn your head to look at him but your gaze shifts to the bag in his hand. You reach over and grab a fry out of the bag and he s his eyes. Pulling into the parking lot, he silently watches you eat. This brings him so much nostalgia. He misses eating lunch with you everyday. Ranting while you just sit there and chew. He misses having someone listening to him about something that’s not related to school. After you stopped *attempted* talking to him in the beginning of 7th grade, his heart felt like it got ripped out of his chest.

He’s never felt anything his whole life. His father would tell him that one day he’ll find someone who makes him feel everything, makes life worth it. He’d seen the love shared between his parents everyday. He always wanted that. In the fourth grade all of that came true. He saw you getting off the bus making your way to school. He saw the way you helped up Michael Lemitzki, a dorky little boy, after Conner pushed him down. Shaggy hair, braces lining his teeth, comic books all on the floor. How pathetic. You weren’t scared of Conner at all. He was bigger than you and more popular than you, but you didn’t care. You kept a straight face as he threatened you and held your composure. No emotion showing whatsoever.

He thought you were beautiful. It was love at first sight. He was too busy staring at you to hear his father calling out to him. He followed his son's gaze to you. He looked back down at the small boy and gave a knowing smile. Takenya just stared at the other boy hugging you with tears down his face. Why is he touching you like that? Push him away already! That day he purposely made himself a target to the bullying of Melissa and Conner. Hoping that one day, you’ll save him the same way you did Jacob. He got bigger glasses, grew his hair out, and started dressing like the typical “nerd”. He would leave candies in your cubby, prized limited edition Pokémon cards in your backpack, brand new color pencils and markers showed up around you. He started to lose hope though. Why haven’t you noticed him yet!? Sure he’s never actually talked to you.. but still! Could you not see his effort?! Did you not care? He sat alone at recess that fateful day. He was randomly pushed down, papers and crayons flying out his small hands. He wasn’t in the mood for Connors teasing today. To caught up on the fact that the love of his life may never see him they way he’s dreamed of. Oh the dramatic mind of a fifth grader. He clutched the safety scissors that flew out of his pencil pouch watching the dick of an elementary schooler turn around. He was about to get up but stopped as he saw someone bend down beside him. It was you! You helped gather all his things and placed them into his arms. His heart pounded in his chest and the blush on his face spread like wildfire. Before he could say anything you walked away. Taking your place on the swing set. He hurriedly put all his things away before trying to build up the courage to come talk to you. He took to long, however, as the teacher soon yelled for everyone to make their way into the line back to their respective class.

As he reminisces on the past, an alarm rings. Telling him that it’s time to make his way back to school. You’ve already finished all your food and somehow managed to take your headphones back.

“What?” You say snapping him out of his trance. He didn’t even realize he was staring.

“Nothing,”

You make your way back to the school and go your separate ways. He walks you to class ensuring that you get there. Out the corner of his eye he sees someone wave to you. Lemitzki. His hairs more well kept, ditched the glasses for contacts showing of his green eyes. He’s taller and has more muscles now. The only thing that hasn’t changed is the jagged line that makes it’s way across his right cheek, interfering with his dimple as he smiles. It’s been awhile, the scar healed well. The once clutzy boy looks at the door and freezes, hand dropping and going pale. There’s a silent stare off between the two before the late bell rings. Takenya makes his way to class, a slight smile on his face at a sudden memory.

Watching him walk away, a fist tightens. Little does he know someone was planning on getting their revenge.

Hi loves! I hope you guys enjoyed. Take is an OC of mine I’ve had for a while just never had a name for him until now. Like his concept was in my head foreverrrr. He might be a reoccurring character. I really like him. But I did put one shot so I’m not sure. Lemme know what y’all want. Check out this post below for a little more context. Hope you enjoyed.

-Love, Sos❤️

[narutouzumakiarchive]

How to deal with the homophobic and horrible ss, nh, sh etc. stans? Just reading their content makes me feel gaslighted and makes me want to quit my little sns blog, because I feel isolated.

First of all, I'm sorry you feel that way. The best thing to do is honestly to just ignore them. The canon ships, in particular, are horrid and are consequently routinely subjected to lots of criticism by people outside of the carefully constructed echo chambers of canon shippers. SS/NH fans cope with this by harassing SNS shippers who have been a particular source of insecurity for the entire run of the show. There's a reason why they routinely steal from the sns dynamic to prop up their ship and have to rely on fillers and novels and databooks, etc. instead of working with the manga.

This brings me to my next point. Part of the reason they are so emboldened is because the "victors" are the ones who write the story, and they've used this to control the narrative and recontextualize what actually happened during the original run of the story. So, something you should know is that SNS fans have always been right about the core of the manga.

While there were obviously endgame SS/NH believers, the idea that Sasuke/Sakura and Naruto/Hinata were mutually in love was not a unifying factor in those fandoms.

In the Naruto Collector Book 3, there was an interview in which Kishimoto himself acknowledged the fact that Sakura and Hinata's feelings of love were unrequited. This interview is practically lost media, and is conveniently never discussed but the book is still available. The collector series has other interviews with Kishimoto as well.

But the main point is that this interview was released in 2007, long after we were already into Part 2 of the manga. This firstly debunks the idea that there was a secret budding love story that was sabotaged by SP, though you don't need any interview to tell you that Sasuke literally only thinking of Team 7 during Sakura's love confession, or Naruto not reflecting on any special moments with Hinata was proof enough of the lack of romance. More importantly, however, this is connected to my point about belief in "true love all along" was not a unifying factor in the SS/NH fandoms. Many of them were aware of this interview (see the respective examples of a SS fan and a NH fan reacting to it below) and thus spent their time taking solace in databooks and writing longwinded posts about how mutual romantic development weren't required for endgame.

What DID unite solo/multshipping SS in particular was the belief that Sasuke considered Sakura special, and thus, she would be the one who helped heal his heart. And this belief is where the real "war" between SS/SNS lied. If you look at old SNS posts, you'll see that there was never a unifying belief that SNS would be canon either, for obvious reasons. You'll notice that many posts were prefaced with some variation of "regardless of the nature of their bond...." because it wasn't so much what they were to each other rather than how significant they were to each other. You'll see a lot of posts about them transcending traditional relationship categories.

So this was the primary context in which SS and SNS fans argued. You can see below just some of the drivel that SS came up with. They have always been relentlessly insecure harassers who used to attack SNS fans for simply seeing the direction in which the manga would go.

They ignored Naruto making Sasuke's heart beat repeatedly, they ignored Naruto being tied to Sasuke's sharingan transformation — which later in the manga was explicitly called out for being the reflection of the heart that SNS fans postulated it was. They ignored the fact that Sakura was rendered fungible [a fact you can see reflected in the interview below when Kishimoto discusses what makes Team 7 special and completely evades mention of Sakura] and that Kishi usurped moments that could have been special for Sasuke and Sakura by including Naruto (eg. Sasuke bringing up not wanting Naruto to worry in the FOD, Sasuke thinking about Naruto to keep the curse mark at bay as well despite the fact that Sakura was the one who was explicitly worried about him, Sasuke including Naruto and talking about precious nakama in the fight against Gaara despite the fact that Sakura was the only one in mortal danger, etc.). They ignored the fact that Sasuke quite literally hierarchially ranked Naruto as a more intimate friend than Sakura. Harassed SNS fans for pointing out the basic setup in the manga that served to reinforce SNS fans' interpretations because they constructed a version of the manga that was wholly centered on the special and unique "bond" between Sakura/Sasuke.

All this lasted to the war arc. They twisted themselves in pretzels to argue about how Sasuke leaving Sakura to burn in lava and outright stating that her and Kakashi's lives didn't matter was him repressing his super secret feelings of care for her while attempting to downplay the mutual affection displayed in the SNS bond. Even the more "neutral" pro team 7 SS fans looked for ways to subtly denigrate SNS' bond. Sasuke makes no mentions of Sakura when the 10 tails is about to blow up the shinobi alliance? Who cares because at least Sakura's face doesn't have a cut across it (yes, they really did misinterpret pro SNS moments where Sasuke individuated Naruto as negative). And they did all this while making anti Sasunaru clubs and hiding in forums to complain about how SNS was getting too much focus in the manga (something older fans can attest to) because deep down many of them saw the writing on the wall.

Now SNS fans, on the other hand, displayed the critical reading skills that the SS fandom lacked — and I don't mean that facetiously. They picked up on the fact that it was significant that Sasuke lost control of himself when Naruto showed up. They understood the significance of Sasuke specifically asking about the status of the 9 tails given the prior context of Sasuke specifically needing to kill Naruto because he wanted to become stronger. They recognized that Naruto was specifically singled out with a cut precisely because he was special by picking up on the patterns peppered throughout the text. They also respected the Team 7 bonds established in Part 1 — they had no need to undermine it because there was a confidence in Naruto/Sasuke's relationship being special — while understanding the disadvantage in the fact that Sasuke and Sakura dynamic always included a "we" (see example from a 2008 analysis below). They knew there would be a reconciliation in which the tension between duty and desire would be resolved and would lead to Sasuke accepting his heart/inner child which would lead him to Naruto.

And lo and behold, 698 came and SNS fans were validated while SS fans were livid and angry. They complained and harassed SNS blogs and threw tantrums and cried about the manga being retconned. It's so easy for them to pretend they knew everything in hindsight, but the receipts don't lie. There has never been anyone more in denial about the core facts of the manga than SS/NH fans. Don't let them prevent you from supporting SNS. The SNS bond was validated.

Even to this day, they have never gotten over the fact that Sasuke confirmed their worst nightmares which is why they have to cope by literally cropping Naruto out of panels (Look at the 97 likes — and this is tame for them), spreading poor translations, and taking glee in the idea of Kishimoto not being the arbiter of canonicity, so they can take refuge in material not written by him, because they hate what he did write.

As I type this, they are getting made fun of in different languages and SS fans are coping by pretending that anyone who points out the dysfunction of their implied no kiss couple has has no literacy and is ignoring 700 chapters of development, the development in question being Sakura still acting infantile while Sasuke remains indifferent.

Why should you feel isolated because you want to support the main bond when SS fans even have to lie about the poorly written filler novels that were expressly created FOR them (eg. Sakura forcefully kissing Sasuke and then Sasuke immediately grabbing Naruto and leaving Sakura to fall off the motorcycle they were all riding on; A scene SS fans repeatedly lied about and repeatedly misrepresented).

Unfortunately I've nearly run out of images and I didn't even get to finish highlighting all of the lies of SS or discuss NH fans the way I wanted too but please, don't worry about the hate and the homophobia. A significant part of it is them lashing out because of insecurity.

Then and now, nothing has changed.

They hated the fact that Kishimoto wasn't concerned with Hinata's unrequited feelings and patiently waited for Sasuke to fade into oblivion so Naruto and Hinata could ride off into the sunset. When that didn't come, and Naruto prioritized Sasuke even after Hinata's confession, they took to harassing SNS fans. All they have is a retcon movie that Kishimoto wasn't even devoted to, which is why, in addition to lionizing scenes from the film, they even have to read panels incorrectly to achieve some satisfaction.

SNS is amazing and enough to keep me occupied, but another way of dealing with the hatred and homophobia (which is the main point of this post) is remembering why it's so rampant in the first place. The reason you feel gaslighted is because they are literally trying to rewrite history (these people have even lied about how much their novel sold and had to be corrected by a sale tracking account).

I haven't even scratched the surface, but you can see a few more examples here, here, here, and here. Giving in to their bullying is how the liars win. Don't let them!

[katzske]

Thoughts on Earthspark Season 2 (first half)

Spoiler Free:

I must admit I’m dissatisfied.

The animation and rendering definitely looks cheaper. Sometimes it feels like frames are missing, animations not polished, scenes not fully rendered. 2d and 3d poorly blends. It’s quite noticeable unfortunately. Characters also do the TFP Megatron stare now.

That being said, time was taken to revisit old models of characters and give them a new appearance. (4 i’ve noticed) It makes sense given a lot has changed during one year time skip.

The writing often feels either like exposition dumping or naruto filler episodes. I was never at the edge of my seat even during the climax. I ended up skipping through episodes due to the lack of relevant plot information.

Something ES managed to maintain were carefully composed shots that make great still images. While that’s nice for screenshots and redraws, I also feel like it’s the only unique aspect of ES’ animation style that remained. The rest, as previously mentioned, has lost quality.

Character Details I’ve noticed and want to talk about (spoilers ahead)

half of season 2 part 1 is filler. optimus trailer episode, great america with cosmos, a pachycephalosaurus-truck fighting mushrooms, hashtag taking ten years to dispose of hard drives…. each episode did have a few minutes of either cute or important moments. but the majority is a waste of time.

I was hoping that we would learn more about the decepticons. now that they’re free, what are they up to? how are their dynamics? how did season 1 finale change their perception on things? would they try to convince the terrans THEY are the good guys? nothing like that though.

There is no satisfying character development for starscream. ES Starscream was perfect to explore a more neutral version of him, who does not do bad things out of pleasure, but due to necessity; following his desire to be free. In the show he mentions he wanted to get rid of his oppressors (in his eyes autobots and humans), but a real “bruh” moment was when he told Hashtag the only reason he opened up to her last time was to tell her “take care of yourself first”. It completely disregards the fact he came to help in the season 1 finale after reflecting on Hashtags words. It also aggravates me that the writing could have been a very easy fix. “hey i’m not being selfish by destroying this town. im doing this for the decepticons, we have lived under the control of the autobots and then of humans. this needs to stop, we deserve freedom and i will do anything it takes.”

the show managed to establish some friction between starscream and shockwave but for deception standards it was very tame. overall i think it was written okay; he purposely let the Terrans escape with the fragments, and he bailed on Starscream once he went bonkers. I hope that he gets to be a Decepticon leader in the second half; i don’t think we have seen that in any TF TV show before. i also like that his antennae and eye color give away his emotions now.

i feel like the autobots are treated even worse than the decepticons this season ngl. they merely exist; and when they do have the spotlight it’s often for comedy.

why the fuck did shockwave not wait for hashtag to just dump the hard drives and leave. if someone walked up to me yelling “give me your trashbag” as i’m trying to dispose of it i’d be weirded out too lol.

i hope the chaos terrans don’t return. aftermath imo was, plot wise, redundant. spitfire at least was interesting and had an impact.

i wish there were more interesting fights like in season 1 instead of, oh no they’re hitting the trailer with sticks, oh no we are an abomination of dinosaur and vehicle for what feels like 15mins straight. i miss seeing soundwave slay.

[druidwolf21]

*slides some stuff that give me ideas*

Imagine being Konrad Cruze daughter and what lucidity he have to protect the only innocent thing he has to any of his brothers or a nice base humans he told his legion to leave his daughter in their care knowing well she'll live a good and safe life that isn't him

And lest say after the heresy Guilliman ( after awakening and all ) there is a large planet in uncharted of space that has been trying to make contact as the one in charge have something or someone

As it's the list daughter of the Night Haunter, and she been in a force endiceted coma as she is using her ability that she inherited from her father and bit more to protect the denizen of the planet for chaos long as she can

So how would Guilliman be when situation liked that be a reaction?

*enjoy my brain dumb, you can ignore this if you want*

Ok first of all

NOT BRAIN DUMB

Brain good!!

I love this so so much!!!

I really hope you like this! Thank you for letting me write it! I rewrote it so many times

Little bit of fluff, little bit of angst!

CW: violence, bad language

@kitty-chan33 @beckyninja @lemon-russ @moodymisty @thisuserislilsilly @jaghatai-khock @laura-naruto-fan1998 @echo-of-damnation @kit-williams @gallifreyianrosearkytiorsusan @cosmic-cryptid-from-beyond

Konrad Kurze was a wraith, his breaths staggered and eyes wild as he tore through abandoned streets and lonely alleys. One armoured hand clutched under his tattered clothes as he ran. Above him lay a sky choked with clouds of thick chemical refuse, industrial towers spewing a blanket of toxic haze across the world and smothering the dim light of the dying sun to a muted grey sheen. The city was a maze of blistered stone and rusted iron, and the people were just as rotten. Violence and corruption wormed it's way into the soul of every living thing in Nostramo, leaving nothing in its wake but despair and blood. This was no place for humanity.

No place for you.

He paused for a moment, black eyes scanning the collapsing architecture before a sound drew his attention and he turned, teeth bared in feral snarl as he spun to the source. A small woman stepped from the shadow, a cloak bundled around her frail form as she shuffled forward. A bag swung from her shoulder and a small dagger flashed as her cape swayed with her movement.

"My lord" she croaked, weathered hands raised defensively as she approached "my lord I am here, as you commanded" she was still young, but worn out, brown hair flecked with grey and crows feet wrinkled around dull green eyes. Her youth fallen to the same fate as everyone who found themselves in this desolate place. Kurze didn't care. He stalked over to the woman, sniffing and puffing at her before finally stepping back. "Good, I didn't take you for a coward, Tela, but one can only judge so far" he bent low, his fetid breath fluttering the woman's lank hair as she froze. "You understand the... Importance of this job? The consequences should you fail?" She nodded in response. A small but firm gesture under the black stare of the primarch. "I do, my lord" she strained her neck back, staring Kurze in the eye as she spoke. "I have not failed you yet, night haunter and I do not plan to start now" Konrad rose to his full height, nodding thoughtfully before slowly drawing his own ragged cloak aside.

Clutched in his taloned hand, pressed to his chest, he held a child.

A small girl, clinging to his beaten robes with pale hands, eyes bright and large as she glanced around.

Tela watched as the hardened cold face of the lord before her softened, his hands, normally so quick to gore and maim, moved carefully as he lifted the girl from his warmth and placed her on the floor. The monster who terrorized Nostramo now stood as just a man, wrapping the child in a bundle of fabric. "Regardless of what you think of me, she deserves more than this" he growled, his eyes not leaving the girl as she laughed, unaware of the world around her. "She will be the best of us. Of me"

"your daughter will be safe with me, lord Kurze"

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Tela sat in the cargo hold, her body aching and cold from the cramped corner she hid herself in. The young girl squirmed and whined in the confines as the engines of the vessel roared to life, struggling against rocking motion as the trader ship began to depart.

"dad?" She questioned, looking at the old lady with big watery eyes, her bottom lip quivering. "Dad?"

"no sweetie, just me and you"

The girl began sobbing in earnest, tears streaming down her round face and reddening cheeks as she cried. Tela watched her for a moment, fingers twitching towards the blade at her hip. A primarch's child was an unusual thing in itself, but kurze's welp? She'd come with every intention of putting the abomination out of its misery, but this...this was not what she had expected. There was no fanged beast, no raging animal hellbent in gutting her and although the girl was larger than she should be at that age, her eyes seeing a little too much with each blurred blink, she was still just a little girl, missing her dad.

With a resigned sigh she held out her arms. "Come here, little one, I'll look after you" she cradled the girl against her chest, running frail fingers through her hair as she held her. A wave of emotion washed over tela and she blinked back tears that did not belong to her. She glanced down at the bawling toddler. A psyker too?

"what have I gotten myself into"

The two of them sat as the hull groaned and creaked around them, the sound of sobbing faded to a whimper as tela soothed her with soft words.

Shhh shhh it's ok, everything be be ok

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"Aunt Tela, I'm back!"

The elderly woman smiled from her seat on the porch, shawl drawn close around her bent shoulders to stave off the cold evening air. She raised a frail hand to you as you climbed the hill, becoming you over. "Hello love, I was beginning to worry about you"

You smiled and waved her concern off, dropping to a knee to press a soft kiss against the old woman's head. "Really Aunt, you should know better by now, I outsize and outpace everything on this planet" you laughed and raised back to your towering full height, lean muscles popping as you stretched. Tela shook her head, tutting. "I've told you before, if you get cocky, you'll get into trouble, there are things much bigger and stronger than you out there and we don't need you drawing more attention than you already do"

You chuckled softly and lowered yourself to sit on the grass in front of her, an elbow propped across your bent knee as you sat in comfortable silence staring out across the sprawling view. Wooden cabins and small holding rested on the hillside and beyond them, The city of Trahull bustled like an anthill below you, grey walls climbing high to defend the branching streets and alleys. Even from up on the hill top you could hear the faint mumble of chatter as the denizens went about their day, bartering for goods and services in the street. In the center of the city, coiled and proud, stood a spire. A titanic structure dwarfing the buildings around it, its pale marble colour stood in stark contrast to the dark concrete around it. From atop the steeple a pulse was emitted, an obsidian wave generating a translucent shield around the metropolis.

"we've been here a long time, Aunt, If someone was coming, they would've been here by now"

The old woman sighed and ran her fingers gently along your head in thought. "60 years is long for me, love, but it's a drop in the bucket for you, I need to make sure you'll be safe when I'm gone." You hummed in response, unwilling to acknowledge the way the conversation was going, deciding to enjoy the simple touch along your scalp instead. "The imperium hasn't taken much interest yet, but if they knew you were here they would..."

You reach over and gently grasped her fingers, your hand dwarfing her own as you held her. "Tela, I know, I remember all the stories, the primarchs won't find me, I swear" you turned to look at her and smiled "I promise I won't go looking for trouble"

"well trouble has a way of finding you, unfortunately"

You shrugged off the well intended accusation, huffing slightly as she flicked your head with a laugh. She suddenly grew quiet, he hands stilling in your hair.

"are you still having that nightmare?"

You swallowed dryly and nodded. Images flashed through your mind, the city burning, corpses littering the street, blood flowing down the alleys as red eyes flashed in the darkness. "your father had them too, don't dwell on them, lest you bring them to pass"

You both sat and watched the sun slowly dip below the horizon, the orange and red hues thrown from the evening casting a warm light across the terrain like molten gold. You shrugged the cloak from off your shoulders and slung it around Tela, the weighty material dwarfing her as she snuggled into the layers. "It seems like it was just yesterday that you were the one buried in fleece to keep warm" she sighed wistfully, picking at a loose thread on the purple material. "Now you're out there, protecting the cities from orcs and eldar" she clutched the cape to her, arthritic hands shaking as she pulled it against her. "Such a loud child, always making trouble"

You cocked an eye brow at her as she spoke, letting her reminisce as she leant back in her seat. "I feared you'd turn out like your father, thought I'd made a mistake, but here you are"

"here I am" you agreed, watching her rock slightly in her chair.

"my sweet girl"

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"Tela, Tela wake up, we need to move. NOW"

Tela opened her eyes groggily, seeing your concerned face peering at her through the darkness. "What? What's going on?"

"no time to explain, were going to Trahull"

You bent and clutched her to your chest, lifting her with ease as you kicked the cabin door open and you felt her stiffen against you.

From atop the hills peak you could see it all, screams and howls carried in the wind filled your ears as gunfire and artillery filled the air, the sky was crowded with ships and choked by thick black smoke that coiled and curled, blotting out the stars.

Barreling down the hill towards the city, the cries grew louder and the smell of burt flesh and scorched brick was overwhelming. You kept your eyes fixed ahead as you drove downwards towards the gate, jumping over bodies and piles of ash as the walls loomed closer. As you moved through the debris, you dropped low, clutching Tela to your chest as you crept forward. Your ears pricked for any sound as the burned remains of cabins and homes groaned and heaved around you. Bile rose in your throat as you recognized the remains of neighbours. people who had helped you, laughed with you, now discarded into the trampled earth like broken toys.

A noise

You paused, eyes flicking through the smoke as a shape began to emerge from the haze. Your eyes widened in surprise before you twisted and ducked down behind a smoldering beam. Blood red armour, fringed with gold and platinum, an axe, bloody and rusted dragging across the floor. His pauldron displayed a round mouth lined with jagged teeth. You drummed your thoughts, digging through your memory to try and recognize the sigil but the smell of ichor and the taste of iron on your tongue overloaded your senses.

"what is a marine doing here?" You hissed, trying to ground yourself. Tela moved against your grip, pulling the hood off her face to glance around. Sadness and rage consumed her features as she spoke. "World eaters, Angron's dogs" she spat. You glanced round the corner, watching the mass of Ceremite and muscle skulk off into the ash. "Why are they here? You always said the astartes were only sent in to" The old woman cut you off "I know what I said, but something isn't right here, we shouldn't linger"

You nodded and turned back around the corner.

You reeled backwards as a metal boot swung towards your face, narrowly missing you as you jumped backwards. You scrambled to your feet and hissed through your teeth, raising to your full height and glaring down at the warrior. The helmet tilted as the cold steel stared back up at you, pausing for a moment before hefting the axe to its shoulder.

"Tela, go and hide, I'll find you in a minute" you growled, placing her gently behind you. She placed a soft hand on your arm, looking up at you with concern before scurrying off. You stared down at the marine, eyes narrowed and fists clenched. You were not prepared for this fight, you had no armour and no weapons, only the soft tunic, trousers and cloak you had gathered before escaping.

"what do you want?"

You didn't understand the garbled words that were returned to you, and you didn't have time to think before a heavy blade was swung towards your center. Instinct took over and your body moved on its own as you twisted away and swung your fist at the gleaming helmet, catching the ornate crest and tilting the marine into a cartwheel sideways as his axe flew from his grasp and his helmet flew from his head. A sickening crunch as his leg twisted in Ceremite. All thoughts in your mind were muffled as a primitive voice took command.

Kill him

Tear him

Break him

You lunged after the marine, collecting his discarded axe from the ground as you charged. The marine turned to face you as he clambered to his feet, his injured leg giving way beneath his weight. bare face revealing a scarred visage, riddled with cables and cord that plunged under his skin and His lips drew back in a snarl as he ripped a bolter from is holster on his hip and began firing, the rounds tearing through wood and metal as they pinged through the wreckage. A burn in your shoulder as one embedded your flesh, another hissing past your cheek as it burned a furrow under your eye.

You raised the axe above your head and swung it down with a scream, cleaving through sinew and bone. The world eater's hands shot to his chest gurgling and choking as he pawed at the blood oozing from between the plates of his armour as he fell forward with a last rattling breath.

Casting the axe to the floor, you sucked breath into your lungs through clenched teeth. Blood thrummed in your ears and adrenaline pulsed through your body as you glared down at the corpse, you bit back a manic grin, high in the victory as you spun round.

"Tela, it's ok, he's dead"

No response

"Tela?"

Through the soft popping of cindered wood and battle cries you heard her, a soft whimpering emanating from the wreckage. Sprinting over, you collapsed next to her, eyes already burning as you tried to staunch the wound in her stomach. You ripped at your tunic, plastering the already drenched fabric against her to halt the flow. A soft hand found your face and you blinked tears away as she smiled up at you.

"You need to go"

"I'm not leaving you behind"

"you don't have a choice"

Head bowed, you sobbed, openly weeping as you continued to paw at spreading crimson on her belly. "Head to the city, the tower, if you can get there, you can keep the shield up" she coughed, her light frame spasming in pain.

"I can't do it, please mother" you wept, shaking your head. A warm smile spread across her palming face as her thumb ran gentle circles across your cheek. "yes you can, my love"

Her hand fell from your face and she sighed.

"always such a loud child"

And she was gone.

You screamed your despair into her body, pressing your face into her hair as you swore, begged, threatened someone, anyone to help. But no help came.

And you were alone.

After a while, you dragged yourself to your feet, casting one last look at her, you slowly made your way towards the city.

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Guilliman rubbed his temples and groaned inwardly at the sharp rap at his door.

"what"

"I apologize for the interruption my lord, but the astropath picked up a message, they said it was urgent."

The primarch motioned the serf and they scuttled forward, reaching up and placing the large rolled parchment on his desk before bowing hastily and making their exit. Roboute sighed again and reached out to the letter, a scowl creasing his brow as he cracked the wax seal and began to read. Blue eyes flickered over the page in disbelief, rereading the message before he lurched from his chair. Slamming open his door, he stormed down the corridor to the shock of the Invictarus guardsman stationed outside his office.

"my lord? What is happening?"

" That's what I'm going to find out" guilliman thought, as he made his way to the helm.

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The planet was desolate, the soil was barren and lifeless, motes of dust flying into the air as the thunderhawk landed. A small retinue of men stood outside, clad in thick protective robes and face shields to protect them from the acrid swirls of sand that danced along the seals of their suits as they waited for the primarch to depart.

"my lord primarch, such an honour, we are grateful for your decisive response" the leader uttered, dipping into a low bow as guilliman stepped from the vessel. "As soon as we found it, we knew it should be investigated at once, a rather splendid archeological find, if I may say."

Roboute gestured for the men to lead them as his guard readied bolter and blade. Following the men at a leisurely pace, he cast an eye around his surroundings. Whilst the outside world had been laid to waste, the city sat resplendent behind high walls, a tall tower peaked over the great palisade , emitting a purple hued barrier that shielded the occupants from the wasteland. The archeologists stepped through the barrier with barely a glance, but roboute paused, examining the barrier closely but pressing a gauntleted hand flat against its surface.

The barrier convulsed under his touch, a blue ripple passing through its surface briefly before fading again. He rubbed his fingers together, feeling a familiar psyching energy emanating from the barrier, but a strangeness alongside it he couldn't place. He stopped through the wrought iron gates and pressed on, listening to the gentle sounds of the city. The imperium had hardly laid a claim here, with only a few militarum patrolling the alleys. The streets were crowded but happy, children ran in-between the feet of market owners peddling their wears from bright stalls.

A small child ran into the back of his legs, clustering against the armour. He looked down, towering over the small boy, who picked himself up off, dusted his britches and looked up at him with a toothy smile, gaps in his front teeth and a bruise forming already on his forehead. "Sorry sir!" He laughed before squealing and running after his friends.

Guilliman's gaze traced after the boy as he ran, an almost wistful look across his stoic face before returning his attention to the tower. Approaching the base, he was directed to a large door, carved so intricately into the marble it was easily missed. Pushing it open revealed a set of steps driving down into the dark bowels of the earth.

"wait here, I'll go alone"

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It was so cold

Or maybe it was warm

A touch, cold metal reverberating, echoing

An image, a man clad in blue and gold

Where am I?

Is this.

.

.

Home?

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Roboute paced the sphere cautiously, examining the cables and pipes feeding from it into the heights of the building. The sphere was glass, or something similar at least, a fluid bubbled softly inside, iridescent and ethereal.

Floating in the liquid, was a girl.

Curled in the fetal position, her eyelids flickered like she was dreaming, fingers twitching gently as if to reach out and grasp. Her face was soft, but the similarities were undeniable.

"Konrad, what did you do" Guilliman muttered, running a hand through his blonde crop. "And to hide her for this long" he felt his hearts pounding in his chest, his rage at his brother surfacing, along with the grief of everyone he had lost. Konrad had been a monster, fueled by rage and fear, but would she be the same? Why was she here, who was she?

Why did he hide you?

He continued to patrol the edge of the receptacle, tapping and touching every so often. Thousand of theoreticals pouring through his mind as he measured and counted. Finally he stopped, pulling his fist back and shattering the glass with a deft punch.

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Everything was too cold and too loud, but all at once too quiet and too hot, you felt yourself falling forwards and a strong pair of hands catching you as you gasped, breathing air for the first time in

How long had it been?

Memories came flooding back to you, the attack, the devastation. You had entered the spire to boost the shield, to save the city, to sleep and forget it all.

So where am I now?

Above you hovered a man you had never seen, but felt so familiar. You reached a hand to him, cupping his cheek with a soft touch as you lay in his arms.

"I.... Know... You?"

"no" he whispered, leaning in slightly to the touch "but I'm here to help"

You closed your eyes again and nodded slowly, pulling your hand back "everyone... The city... They're ok?"

The primarch gazed down at your face, so much like his brother, and yet so soft. "You're worried about the city?"

"yes"

"the city is fine"

"good, thats good"

The lord of ultrimar sat, holding you gently as you faded in and out of consciousness. His head was a mess, filled with confusion and hope as he listened to you mumble. Kurze might have been an abomination.

But you might be better.

[evilminji]

You know how in Naruto, Sealing is a Finicky Art?

It's like computer coding, calligraphy, and symbolism had a super-powered/reality bending baby. You gotta think in VERY ADHD twirls and swirls too be any good at it. Which is why the Uzumaki rocked it so hard. But I digress.

Is Complexe AF.

Bends Reality and is EASY to fuck up.

Wanna bet? The BEST way to learn/use it? Is to copy already functioning examples? But Oh! How do you KNOW they are functioning? Safe? Well OBVIOUSLY, your Skilled At Seals teacher looks at it first! THEN gives it too you!

Using random seals you find in the dirt is how you get splattered across three different countryside in peices, after all. Possibly take out a nearly Town or two while your at it. No One Is THAT Dumb... RIGHT?

Enter Stage Right o/~☆ Humanity, Everybody! *polite, if strained, golf clapping*

They ABSOLUTELY Are!

Especially Ninja!

Ninja who, after fuckin MURDERING A WHOLE ASS VILLAGE OF SEALING MASTERS, decided to pick through the rubble! Because THAT is gonna work out GREAT! After all... it's not like you just KILLED the fuckers who could tell you what IS and IS NOT functional!

Was that once the "hazardous advanced class' sealing failures" bin? Or was it the "super awesome candy and rainbows" stash!? You don't know. NO ONE DOES NOW. You fuckin KILLED THE PEOPLE WHO DID.

They had their own REGIONAL Sealing Script.

You know, the one they taught to THEIR STUDENTS. Not outsiders. The students you KILLED, you absolute fuck nuggets. But hey! The threat of the Super Scary Sealing Masters is no more! Good job. You've successfully burned down the library. It can't hurt you ever again.

But NOW? You have piles upon piles of GIBBERISH.

You can only VAGUELY tell the novice seals from the master's. And even then? Do you have any idea what most of them DO? Nope. And after a certain point in training? The shaky, uncertain hand writing becomes smooth enough, that it all blends together in "Seals".

Now... what is the SMART thing to do?

Curse your hubris and the atrocities your fear allowed you to commit, obviously. But BEYOND that, Don't Touch Them. But we're Ninja. So WE are all suicidal idiots. The less smart but still Reasonably Precautionary thing to do? Study the amateur Seals. Learn Sealing from other masters.

Crack the Regional Script and slowly, painstakingly, work through each seal as we sort out what is and isn't safe. What can be salvaged. What can be used and how.

A process that will likely take years if not decades.

But of course, that's not GOOD ENOUGH for certain grabby handed, power hungry, short sighted, fuck weasels! No, no. It much EASIER to just throw human life into the blender until profit pops out! Completely IGNORING, of course, that SOME of these?

Could very well be the "Too Dangerous To Ever Use/Will Destroy Us All/Take Them All With Us" type of Seals that Kage usually LOCK UP. The kind you CAN'T destroy once you've made them, because the fall out would be WORSE. And?

Even if you are a murderous, middle management, go nowhere in your life, BASTARD of a ninja? Sometimes you can look down at the massive, intricately detailed, killer off nation's before you. Something that was WRAPPED in locks upon locks upon chains upon seals. And KNOW in your selfish, survival at all costs little heart... You DO NOT want anyone to fuck with this.

You CAN NOT let anyone fuck with this.

NO ONE can be allowed to touch it.

Not for ANYTHING.

You may fear S Class Kage and Missing Nin and what all else they may do to you. But THIS? Your eyes can't even properly FOCUS on it. It's like a tunnel that's lined with poetry, stretching all the way to the Earth's core. It's perfectly flat. It moves, a gentle rotation. But is that just your eyes, tricking you?

So much ink, it swallows the scroll, and this is when it's COMPRESSED.

How many nations?

How many NATIONS must this monstrosity span, when free?

It must have taken a Master decades, if not their entire life, to complete. Possibly a family, several generations. But... but gods it is a work of MADNESS. No wonder it was sealed. It speak, you... you THINK... of Death...

Of it's KING.

Something BEYOND the Shinigami. BEYOND Death and the Purelands.

Who the FUCK would try to summon something beyond GODS? Did they think they could control it? Chain it like the bijuu? You're so cold inside. Because you KNOW. You fucking KNOW, the ambitions and arrogance of those above you.

They'll think they can.

They won't listen.

You... you have to take this and RUN. You stand no chance. But no chance is better then oblivion. Anything is better then standing by and watching it happen.

You obviously don't make it. You never expected too. But at least... at least you won't have to watch whatever THAT is... arrive... fuck...

At least you TRIED.

And? Because leaf Ninja, specifically certain teams, have the MOST Shit luck imaginable? They arrive, having crossed paths with several other teams, on the way back home (yay! Warm food and real beds!) Just in time to see a desperate looking ninja from one of the small villages get fuckin pincushioned. Drop what is VERY clearly an Uzushio Scroll of considerable size and SEVERE SSS+ DO Not EVER Touch Grade Type Markings, and then some joining from that same village go to grab it.

Notice them.

You know... the multiple LEAF NINJA. Who TOO THIS DAY, wear the UZU swirl on their uniforms as a mourning tribute to the DEAR AND PRECIOUS ALLIES they could not save. The Uzushio Allies. Those ones. The ones that were, in fact, from Uzushio.

LIKE THE SCROLL YOU ARE HOLDING.

By the WAY! How DID you get that Scroll? Doesn't seem like something our dear friends would just HAND over, now does it? You didn't happen to LOOT THEIR FUCKIN GRAVES did you? Cause we sure would be MAD about that!

:)

Real Mad.

Dude obviously panics. Because that? That is a VERY pissed off bunch of Ninja, many in the bingo book, one of whom is Very Clearly throwing off BIJUU CHAKRA. And just said "my family's" Ha ha... Oh Shit that's an Uzumaki.

So he decides to USE THE SEAL.

What does it do?

He doesn't know! But it's probably SOMETHING big and impressive, right?

Yes. :) Yes it Does.

*Crack*

The SKY cracks. Like a pane of glass, struck by a hammer. Spiderwebbing as far as the eye can see above them, all from one central point, directly above the seal. The cracks there are concentrated. A point of impact. And through the cracks... something GREEN shines.

Brighter then the daylight around it, yet darker in color then the blue of the sky. Lazily whisping out like escaping mist. Time seems slow as their eyes all whip up wards. Even with senses beyond the normal human base, it is... inconceivable. SOMETHING winds back. They can not see it.

But they can feel it.

Like changing pressure as a storm rolls in.

*Crack!*

Green overtakes the blue. The sky a Kaleidescape of shards, held together by stubbornness alone. Reflecting a calm day that seems IMPOSSIBLE in the face of what's occurring. There should be wind. Great pressure changes in the face of so much FORCE, but the trees are eerily still.. utterly silent..

Nothing dares bring attention to itself.

Some distant part of their minds try to gather the thought that... that it could be an illusion. They... they should check. But they can FEEL it. Like a weight draped gently but without mercy upon their shoulders. It did not slam. But... but they can not move. Can barely breathe. It is beyond killing intent.

It is simply...

DEATH.

*CRASH!*

At last, the sky gives way. A fist, the size of towers punching through. It... it is almost elegant. A ring, almost in the shinigami's visage, wraps itself in a howling and snarled menace, around a great shining finger. A glove protects almost delicate looking, claw tipped fingers. The fist pulls back. Shard of sky falling, Floating, suspended in their moment of destruction, a glittering frame for the gapping wound that has overtaken everything.

Death...

Death has Green Eyes.

A crown of ice and starlight, pulled straight from the coldest north, hair that drifts like the drowned. His skin is that of a corpse. His breath a coldness that seems to suck all warmth from the world. There is no rage, no great irritation, his face merely twisted in slight annoyance. Mild displeasure.

And yet it feels like their greatest sin.

It BURNS.

They are ants. Less then ants. He... He LOOMS so TALL. The Green BURNS into their eyes, into their veins, chokes their lungs. The silence stretches. Those great eyes, the eyes of a GOD, move from them. To the man with the Seal.

He dies instantly.

Shit.

They... they need to... to...

Naruto wanders over and picks up the scroll, completely ignore the Giant Sky God Of Death and how all his friends are frozen in primordial fear. He roughly shakes the dirt off the delicate old relic, then squint at it. Figures he's holding it upside-down. Flipping it, he squints harder. Tilts his head and hums.

"Oh!"

He holds his hand up, turning to look at the terrifying Deity From Beyond Comprehension.

"It's me! I'm the Uzumaki! But, uh, I didn't actually summon you? Our stuff got stolen. Which really sucks!" He looks down again, brings the paper nearly to his nose trying to make out some thing. "Uuuuuh, huh. Got it! Can you get smaller? I don't got any BBQ or anything ON me right now, but Choji's Family makes REALLY good food! We can go out to eat? Ooh ooh! Maybe RAMEN! You like Ramen, right?!"

"Yep, Definitely one of Shouta's."

Rumbles The Actual Fucking King Of Death, shaking the trees and ground under your feet. As you probably stare at your fellow Leaf Nin like WTF.

"Sure, man. Give me a second."

And suddenly? He's leaning forward. Shrinking and twisting in ways that are painful to look at. The sky is... is not healing, so much as UNcracking. Rewinding itself to a pristine state. Until only a large, floating, armored God in black and white floats above you. Glowing.

One that... that is apparently FRIENDS with the Uzumaki Clan.

Because of course he is.

Naruto's introducing his Toads. And teammates. You almost feel bad for Hatake. But like? Better you then me, buddy. THEN? Death? Decides? For some inconceivable reason. "You know what? Im'ma just turn into a human WITH NO CHAKRA NETWORK. Reeeeeally freak out the locals."

And now Leaf is INCHARGE of entertaining A GOD until he decides to leave.

Or (presumably) Else.

And!! Because life loves to kick ninjas IN THE BALLS (for their stupid, STUPID life choices, YOU FUCKERS) it just HAD to be the One God? That can SEE DEAD PEOPLE. Because it's not like ninjas have Death Related Traumas or anything!

*internal ninja screaming*

Feed the guy some BBQ! Stat! Please Akimichi! Save us!

@hdgnj @hypewinter @the-witchhunter @ailithnight @nerdpoe @mutable-manifestation

[that-weeb-in-ur-closet]

annie♡ i saw your requests are open👀 could you maybe write smth for pookie deidara? anything works really look how cute he is. i literally cannot express how much i love him

Eeeee, Anne !!! You don't know how excited that made me <3 (I love Deidara and js Naruto in general)

Genre: Fluff, Crack, NSFW at the end.

If you're new in the Akatsuki, he'd be extremely awkward. I think he'd be so bad at introducing himself before he reaches the, "Art is an explosion!!" bit.

If he doesn't scare you off from literally popping an explosive clay bird in your face, he'll immediately get obsessed with you. It's not very often people aren't annoyed by his cute outbursts of energy and just eccentric personality. (He was definitely a theater kid.)

— The second you say anything about his hair, he blushes. Like, hard. Even if it's just a simple "your hair looks nice !" or "can I do/play with your hair?"

He does let you do it without complaint, but he, again, is probably super awkward about it. He doesn't know if it'll be weird if he speaks or if he doesn't, so he immediately feels relief when you start the conversation. (Only to immediately get embarrassed again when you call him a pretty princess.)

— He *will* teach you how to make clay sculptures. That's the only thing he tries to be all demanding about, walks up to you after hyping himself up, walking with confidence, and it all fades when he looks at your eyes. "I– uh... Do you... No! You'll– I'm gonna teach you how to make clay sculptures!"

That and doing his hair are probably the most intimate things you can do. He goes behind you and grabs your hands to help you sculpt it, and oddly enough—he's extremely relaxed, not awkward at all. "Good job... Yeah, push down right there, that's it. It's looking really nice." (It's not dirty I swear.)

— He looks so pretty with his hair down. That's, that's the whole headcanon, sorry.

— When he gets the courage to ask you out, after two years, you've never seen him more out of it. He hadn't slept for two days straight, which, may or may not have helped how he asked?? He wasn't as nervous as he would be if he did sleep. You said yes, and he immediately fell asleep on your shoulder the second you did. (CUTE !!!!!!!!)

— He doesn't let go of you. He has to be holding you, hugging you, has his hand on you, (cough, cough). He just has to be near your presence because he just loves you too much. <3

— He gets SO FUCKING JEALOUS of the other members. He knows some of them are better looking, stronger, etc, and it makes him insecure. He won't admit it, but of course, you can tell. But he notices the way you *obnoxiously* say "BRO !!" and "DUDE !!" to all the other members, as well as keeping a good three feet away from them when you find out. He notices. And he's no longer jealous, and the insecurities were kissed away.

— Speaking of kisses... He wanted your first kiss to be romantic and sweet. (Spoilers, it wasn't.)

He was sitting with you under a cherry blossom tree, looking at the clouds as the stereotypical couple does, when he picked a little flower and put it behind your ear, causing you to look at him. His hand is still by your face when you turn, causing his palm to be on your mouth.

Yeah, you ended up kissing the hand on his mouth instead of the one on his face. (That's a story to tell your kids.)

— I headcanon that the Akatsuki has a whole ass "Paint your nails day !" together and paint each other's nails. But he won't let you do it with them, and you do it in the comfort of his bedroom. He's too possessive to let anybody else touch your pretty hands.

— Okay, random, but you are the couple that checks people out. YKWIM?? Like, a girl/guy will walk by with a nice ass, and you simultaneously turn to look at it. Don't be afraid to admit bitches be attractive sometimes.

— IDK if any of you have seen that thing where there's a door, person A is behind the door with their back against it, and the other person B is talking to someone at the door with their hand on person A's mouth, hiding person A from whoever is at the door? Idk it's hard to explain. Y'all have done that. Anyway.

— Let's talk about nicknames. He's so SAPPY with them. "Sugar," "Love," nah. "My work of art," "My radiant sunshine," "Divine," "My explosion," ("Girly pop"), you get it. (Now if we're talking bedroom names‐)

Short NSFW !! if you're uncomfortable with that, please ignore this part !! ♡ (fem reader)

— You already know. The hands. He's gonna eat you out with them. One hand on your pussy, the other on your nipple, while he kisses you.

— He loves holding your hands above your head with you lying on the bed while he pounds into you. That's not a headcanon he would do that.

— Pull his hair. Pull his fucking hair. Nothing else.

— He gets KINKY as FUCK. Wants you to wear makeup so he can see it all smudged and messed up, will tie you up to the bed, will make you watch as his hand sucks him off and leans down to whimper in your ear, will eat you out under the table with other members watching and ACT LIKE HE'S NOT, he bites and licks you. So much. Maybe a mommy kink if you squint, and loves it when you grind on his thigh.

— Speaking of thigh grinding. (Is this my own biggest kink? Yeah, it is, get over it.) Let's talk about it. He'll grab your hair with one hand and make you look at him while the other is on your hip, helping you grind against him. Dry hump his abs while he sleeps, and see how hard he fucks you when he wakes up. "Couldn't wait till I woke up? Hmm... My pretty little whore..."

— Cum eater. What do you think those mouths are for? Clay? No, eating you and all your liquids.

— Choking kink. I repeat, choking kink. Doesn't matter if you're choking him or vice versa. If he's doing it, hickeys, hickeys, hickeys, hickeys. So many.

ANYWAYYYYYY that's all the headcanons I have for you !!!! Thanks for requesting <3

[sailornymph]

hihi!! may we have first kiss/first date hcs for some naruto men (your choice!)

i really like your writing, thank you for doing my previous request <3

‘CINNAMON GIRL’

first date with sasuke, shisui, gaara, kakashi

author’s note : sorry for responding so late! your support is appreciated and thank you <3 i hope you don't mind that i went ahead and turned it into short pieces instead of hcs

♡ sasuke uchiha : first kiss

“i heard naruto and kiba talking about sasuke, he has officially moved back to konoha,” your best friend, hinata, told you.

“why are you telling me this, hinata?” you asked, as her face turned red. fidgeting with her fingers, she glanced at you.

“he asked naruto how were you,” she said.

“of course he did,” you frowned. he had some nerve, sure, he had his issues, but you were willing to support him through it all. you could easily let it all go, you were only children, when you began dating, but hearing how much none of you mattered to him, when he was with orochimaru wounded you.

waving at hinata as she entered the hyuga estate, you continued on your walk home. passing ichiraku’s ramen shop, you rolled your eyes, hearing naruto’s voice.

“was that y/n?” he asked, loudly. turning your head, you made eye contact with kiba before he moved his head back. they whispered amongst themselves when he revealed himself. sasuke uchiha approaches you in his usual dark apparel.

“y/n”

“sasuke,” you crossed your arms.

“would you like for me to walk you home?”

“you were going to do that anyway”

“not without your permission,” he shook his head, looking down. raising your eyebrows for a second, you were shocked. maybe hinata was right, he was actually on a road to redemption.

“i guess,” you mumbled, turning away.

“way to go, sasuke,” naruto cheered before he was shushed.

“i was told you asked about me,” you spoke up, as he silently followed you.

“it's been a while,” he answered.

“i wonder why”

“i’ve made mistakes, i am not proud of the path i’ve gone down, i'd like to make things right, including with you,” he said, shifting his eyes, his cheeks turning pink.

“i mean nothing to you, does that sound familiar?” he asked.

“yes,” he mumbled, unable to meet your eyes.

“you hurt me, all i wanted was you, i cried many nights, torn by what was said”

“i wish i could-

“did you mean it? those words you said that night?”

“i needed to hurt you, the best way i knew how, for you to let me go,” he admitted.

“but is that how you felt?”

“never, so many nights, i’d sit and think of when you'd visit me, bringing snacks or just to hang out. i missed you, but you couldn't go down the path i was headed”

“you're an idiot,” you sighed.

“i know,” he agreed.

“what have you been up to, since being back in the hidden leaf?”

“picking up missions, i actually leave in a few days, but i hoped we would run into each other before then”

“why?”

“so that i could…it’s nothing,” he said, continuing to walk you home.

in the comfortable silence, you felt stunned by the change in his character. he was mature, holding himself accountable, and he looked so handsome letting his hair grow.

“well, thanks,” you said, awkwardly, going to unlock your door. nodding, he turned to leave, as you faced him, watching as he left.

“hey sasuke,” you called out, taking big steps to get to him, as he turned around. practically leaping into his arms, you kissed his lips. instantly, his arm was around your waist, kissing you back.

“i wanted to take you somewhere when i return from my mission,” he confessed, as you pulled away.

“then it’s a date,” you nodded.

“see you then,” he whispered, watching as you turned to leaving, going back inside.

♡ shisui uchiha : first date

“there he is, he’s waiting for you,” your best friend, otsuni squealed, as you made your way into the uchiha compound. he leaned against a tree, talking to his friend, itachi when he suddenly looked your way.

feeling your face burning, you turned to otsuni, to avoid his gaze, but she only smiled at you.

“he’s coming this way,” she said, making you look. he said a few more words to itachi, the young boy nodding and walking away, as shisui approached you.

“y/n, how was the mission?” he asked.

“it was fine,” you shrugged as if you weren't screaming in excitement on the inside.

“i should get home, i’ll see you later, y/n,” otsuni said, waving.

“bye,” you said, before facing shisui.

“if i’m not mistaken, i was promised a date, when you returned,” he crossed his arms, a smirk on his lips.

“is that why you stood right by the gate? you were waiting for me?”

“what can i say, i’m excited,” he laughed, making your heart flutter.

“would you like ice cream?” he continued.

“sure,” you smiled, following him.

it felt like a dream, when shisui approached you, asking you on a date. you’d known him for as long as you could remember, being a part of the same clan, but you never associated with him. he had always been more advanced going on to become a jonin, while you remained a chūnin.

you didn't think he was serious at first, questioning his motives, but he reassured you, saying how you had been in his mind as of lightly and you wouldn't get out of his thoughts, so he figured he could give it a chance.

“when will you test to become a jonin?” he asked, suddenly.

“i didn't really plan to, i’m not a prodigy like you”

“but you have what it takes and i could help you”

“i don't know…”

“i think you will do great”

“you seem persistent about me becoming jonin”

“not persistent, but i think it would be nice to go on a mission or two with you,” he winked, as you both approached the counter. ordering your ice cream, you began to reach for your wallet, when he handed the girl the money.

“i could've paid”

“what kind of date would this be, if you paid,” he said.

“well…thank you,” you said, following him, as he went to sit at the picnic benches.

licking your ice cream, you moaned at the sweet treat. it hit the spot, as the sun shines brilliantly on you, even sitting under the tree. glancing at shisui, you stopped licking, noticing him staring at you, a grin on his lips.

“what is it?”

“you're so beautiful, i’d love to be your boyfriend, if you'd let me,” he said, reaching to wipe the ice cream from your cheek.

“it’s only the first date,” you raised your voice, your face burning in embarrassment.

“then i better leave a good impression,” he laughed, licking his ice cream, while staring into your eyes. god, this man was interesting.

♡ gaara : first date

wiping his palms on his leg for the millionth time, he lowly huffed. he was nervous, waiting for you to join him. much to his dismay, joy, you entered his office. gulping, he smiled softly, as you beamed at him.

“gaara, how has your day been?” you asked, opening the door, the lunch bag on your arm.

“i am fine,” his eyes widened at his voice cracking.

“that's great, are you ready to leave?” you asked, sitting down.

“one moment,” he nodded, standing to put on his kazekage cloak.

“h-how has your day been, y/n?” he asked, as he went to open the door for you.

“wonderful, i've been so excited for our date, i could hardly wait,” you said, making his face turn red.

“i didn't mean to make you embarrassed in any way,” you gasped, as he turned his face away from you.

“you're fine, i’m glad you’ve been having a good day,” he mumbled, as the both of you left his office. walking in a comfortable silence, you planned to go to a ramen shop, while he was on a lunch break.

as you began to walk, he slowed his steps a bit. you didn't notice, but he could see the curious stares from everyone. why were you even with someone like him? he was healing from his past, but he never thought he would end up with anyone until you moved to the village hidden in the sand. you spoke to him every morning, as he walked to the office, while you were on your way to the flower shop.

at first, he stared confusedly, as you smiled at him, waving while saying good morning, maybe you were speaking to someone else. then he finally built up the courage to raise his hand, waving back, his heart pounding as your smile widened. a potential new friend? he oftentimes let his mind drift to you and wondered if you wanted to be his friend. then one day, there was a knock on his office door, his secretary peaked in, telling him that he had a guest. suddenly, you made your entrance. you formally introduced yourself to him and told him you heard so much about him and you'd love to be his friend.

for months, your friendship blossomed, until you asked him to join you for lunch, as a date. hesitantly, he accepted, hoping this was not a prank, but you couldn't be more serious.

“i am starving,” you said, as you smelled the aroma of the ramen.

sitting across from gaara, your eyes scanned the menu, before telling the waiter what you wanted, watching as he wrote it on the ticket.

“what are you getting, gaara?”

“i am not hungry,” he said, making you pout.

“do you not like this place? we can go someplace else if you’d like,” you offered.

“no, i just don’t have much of an appetite,” he said, as you nodded furrowing your eyebrows.

“so tell me what is it like being kazekage?” you asked, excitedly. looking into his eyes, you see that he was glancing up, a few people giving him weird stares.

“hey, you have no idea how excited i’ve been for this date,” you smiled, reaching to touch his hand, getting his attention.

“i just-i don’t understand why you would want to be on a date with me,” he mumbled.

“you’re cute, the prettiest eyes and gaara, your heart is made of gold, what’s not to like? i don’t care about strangers looking at us weirdly, i just want to enjoy your company, can i do that?” you asked, smirking as his cheeks turned red.

“y-yes, that’s fine,” he blushed.

“great, will you order something now and stop acting modest, i was hoping that this would be the beginning of many wonderful dates,” you laughed happily as he nodded, waving for the waiter to come back.

♡ kakashi hatake : first kiss

‘i can't believe i’m late,’ kakashi stressed, as he made his way to the park. he was the one who brought up the free time in his schedule to spend with you. yet here he was, running late, with time working against him.

as he sped up his steps, he could see you coming into view. the sun was setting as you sat alone in the grass. you picked at the nonexistent lint on your dress, your fingers carefully turning the pages of the book.

“y/n, sorry i’m late,” he said, sheepishly, scratching his head, taking in how you looked physically relieved.

“kakashi,” you said his name breathlessly, closing the book.

“i didn't think i would end up so late”

“i understand, at least you made it,” you smiled.

“you look pretty, what are you reading?”

“thank you, and uh, romance, a friend of mine recommended it,” you blushed.

“you like romance?”

“not this one, he is in love with her and she can't see it, it's frustrating,” you sighed, looking up as you felt his eyes on you.

“what?”

“i can't look at you?”

“can i see your face, kakashi?” you whispered. discreetly, he looked around before, he lowered it a little, making you smile.

“you're very handsome,” you said, holding his cheek. not saying a word, he leaned forward, pressing his lips against your own. your finger going to his hair, and his hand snaking around your waist. moaning lowly, as he broke the kiss, pulling his mask up in the process.

“that was our first kiss,” you said, subconsciously leaning toward him, biting your lip.

“was it nice?”

“your icha icha reading has certainly paid off,” you laughed, as his face turned red.

“are you hungry? dinner is on me,” he offered, holding out your hand. accepting his hand, he pulled you close, hoping you wouldn’t notice the deep blush on his face. he couldn’t remember ever sharing such a lovely kiss with anyone.

[venerawrites]

Can I request Naruto with a single mama? Her little 1 yr old is a little unsure at first but comes to ADORE Naruto. Please and thank you!

Author's note: I am finishing my written assignments for uni this and next week, so I'm being extra slow with the requests, for which I am sorry :( Anyway, this request was super cute and I loved writing it! Hope you enjoy and thank you for requesting!

Becoming a war hero almost overnight sounds like a dream come true for every shinobi. All the years of pain, sweat and blood finally being recognised and appreciated by the people was something that rarely happened through history, and even when it did, most of the time it didn't last long.

But Naruto was no ordinary war hero - he was once the most hated person in Konoha, who despite everything remained loyal to his village and his friends. Filled with hope and ambition for the future, he proved himself as an excellent shinobi and most importantly, a good potential leader. So when Kakashi gave up his position as the Hokage, there was no question about who should be his successor.

Everything in his life fell into place pretty quickly after that - he bought a house, he started volunteering at the academy and the hospital during weekends, and also became the best man to Shikamaru and Temari's wedding. The boy that was once called a "freak" was now the "man of progress" - a symbol of prosperity and inspiration to many children across the Land of Fire. Tales and songs were already written in his name, and to him, it still felt unreal.

With fame came also attention. In the beginning, he loved it. Having women competing for his affection was fun and also very new for him - never has anyone asked him out on a date or given him gifts before. It did stroke his ego and for the first months after he became a Hokage, he entertained such advances. After all he was a single man, so why not? Perhaps one of these women would one day turn out to be the one.

Days became months, months became years and soon he found that almost all of his friends were either married or engaged. So far it never bothered him, but after Sakura and Sasuke came back carrying a child in their arms, he started to seriously think about what he wanted.

Years ago, if anyone has asked him what he seeks in a partner, his answer would've easily been his teammate. But since then a lot has changed, including him. He was more mature and level-headed now, and looking back, he realised what he felt toward the pink-haired kunoichi was not real love, but rather a childish crush. She was his best friend and he had deep respect for her, but even he realised how incompatible their personalities were and how his teenage self had an unrealistic idea of who she actually is.

Naruto was the definition of fire. He often acted based on his emotions and while he was better at self-control than he was before, there were still moments when he slipped up and let his inner thoughts take over his rationality. The last thing he needed was someone who had the same burning soul. Quite the opposite - he yearned for calmness. His heart needed to be both loved and protected by someone who can balance him.

This realisation felt heavier with each day. To have someone by his side soon became a mirage - no matter how often he attempted to give a chance to someone, the spark was just never there. All these women looked differently and talked differently, but ultimately they all gave him the same feeling - emptiness.

"Everything comes with time", Kakashi said to him, when he noticed him sitting by himself at Ino and Sai's wedding. The blonde man just smiled, weakly nodding at his sensei, not having the energy to oppose him. At this point, he wanted nothing more than to just finish his drink and head home to rest for the early morning meeting he had the next day.

Like almost everything in his life, however, this didn't go to plan. He was just about to stand up from his place, when his eyes locked with yours across the room. "She is definitely not from here", he thought, as you directed a small smile at him, lifting your glass in the air, before returning your attention to Ino, who was eagerly explaining her honeymoon plans to you. Naruto assumed you were not a shinobi as well, as he was sure he would've remembered you if he had encountered you in the past.

Before he can think about what he was doing, he was already walking toward the table where you and the bride were sitting. Pulling the chair next to Ino and opposite you, he slumped on it, his eyes dancing between you two.

"Can I join you, ladies?", he asked, despite the fact he already had. You both nodded and he grinned in response, before turning toward Ino and laying his hand on her shoulder:

"Congratulations on your marriage, Ino! Sai is a lucky guy!"

"You bet he is!", she laughed, nudging you with her elbow. Expecting such a response from her, you only rolled your eyes, shaking your head with a small smile. There was no room for disagreement, however - while Ino had quite a personality, she was one of the most kind and sincere people you have ever met. No wonder you became friends so quickly after she was sent to a mission in your village and you preserved that friendship despite the distance and all the years that have passed.

"Oh!", the bride suddenly exclaimed, grabbing your hand and almost shoving it into the blonde man’s face, "Naruto, this is Y/N. She has been my friend for... How many? Almost 10 years now! She is originally from the Curtain Village, but has been travelling for a while now."

"The Curtain Village? Isn't that the capital of Land of Silence?"

"It is", you confirmed, shaking his hand once he put it in yours. Noticing the slight furrow of his brows, you were quick to add with a smirk: "I am not a criminal that is here to blow up a wedding, if that is what you are thinking."

Letting out a scoff, Naruto looked a few times between you and Ino, before laughing nervously. He still hadn't let go of you, continuing to shake your arm up and down.

"What? I-you... I didn't-", he stammered, looking over to the bride for help. It was true a very brief thought of suspicion flashed through his mind hearing where you were from, but how can anyone blame him? The Land of Silence was a country of lawlessness, full with criminals and terrorist, all of them sharing the same hatred for Five Great Shinobi.

"Oh, don't listen to her, she is joking!", Ino laughed, before turning toward you and gently slapping you on the shoulder. Her eyes moved to the middle of the table, above which the Hokage was still holding your hand, his whole face flushed bright red. The minute of silence must have caught the man's attention, because soon after he let go of you, moving his fingers behind his body and nervously scratching his neck.

"Not weird at all", your friend muttered, before turning toward you, "Y/N, this is Naruto! A childhood friend, a war hero, the current Hokage... and also a man who does not know how to act like a normal human being in front of a beautiful woman."

He immediately opened his mouth to protest but was stopped the second your laugh reached his ears. This has to be the most melodic and beautiful sound he has ever heard. Too lost admiring it, he didn't pay any attention to Ino, who excused herself, giving you both a knowing look. He noticed only a few minutes later your shared friend is missing and he mentally cursed himself of how he was behaving. His teenage years were long gone, why couldn't he compose himself like the grown man he is?

"So, Hokage...", the title sounded almost seductive from your lips, "What was a man of such importance doing by himself at the bar? One would think you would be the centre of attention tonight. After the bride and groom, of course."

The tone of your voice combined with the sparkle in your eyes was enough for him to be able to barely keep focus on what you were actually saying. Squirming in his seat, he nervously laughed, wondering for how long were you watching him before he approached you. He must have looked like a complete fool sitting by himself ordering glass after glass and only occasionally being spoken to by the passing guests. Definitely not the impression he wanted to leave.

"I just... needed some time away from people. I didn't know Ino and Sai had THAT many friends", his words made you laugh and he instantly beamed at the sound, happy he was the one causing it.

"What about you? You here with someone?"

The slight nod of your head made his heart drop to his stomach and the corners of his mouth moved downward into a frown. Was it surprising? You were a beautiful woman after all, of course the chances for you to be taken were high. He sure as hell was disappointed though. A tiny part of him was hoping that you were here by yourself and that maybe, just maybe, he would have the chance to get to know you more.

Seeing the way his whole expression darkened, you bit back a smile, nodding your head to the end of the large room. There, in a corner, one baby boy and two little girls, one of which was Sarada, were enthusiastically smashing plastic toys around, being supervised by smiling Sakura.

"I am accompanied by the fine gentleman over there", you pointed to the boy, before laughing, "But I think he may be too occupied at the moment to even remember I exist."

Naruto followed the direction of which your finger was pointing and he suddenly felt his body relax. Oh. You were talking about that type of company.

"Is that your brother?"

Raising your brow at him, you gave him a small smirk, finding his question cute. There was something about this man that was both extremely sweet, yet attractive - perhaps it was the innocence he radiated, while looking so strong and masculine.

"You are flattering me", your attention moved back to the child, who was now trying to communicate something with Sarada, "This is my son, actually."

"Your son?", his voice came out louder and squeakier than expected and he immediately added, "It's just... you look so young, heh. Not that is a bad thing, you know? You are beautiful! Your son is also beautiful... Not in a creepy way, I mean he looks a lot like you and-"

The words suddenly got stuck in his throat and he loudly gulped, already fearing the disaster he just created. Expecting you to stand up and leave, or maybe even slap him, he was shocked when all you did was to just grab his hand and give it a little squeeze.

"You sure blabber a lot for a Hokage", you joked, before standing up, "Excuse me just for a minute."

Blue eyes followed your body across the room, curiously watching how you picked up the small boy in your arms and placed it on your hips, before making your way back. Now that he was getting closer, Naruto could fully appreciate the striking resemblance the child had with you. You had dressed him in a little blue shirt and black pants, which was complementing your dress with the same colours.

“Wow! He is literally your twin! Dad must be jealous”, he laughed nervously once you were just few feet away. The mention of he word “dad” made your body stiffen and you adjusted your baby’s position, so you can both sit comfortably.

“I doubt that - that man didn't even have the decency to show up for his child's birth, let alone acknowledge his existence .”

The blonde almost chocked on his drink, hitting his chest a few times. Was it bad to feel so good after hearing you say these words? He would never dream of wishing any child to grow up without a father, yet something inside of him felt almost relieved.

"Oh?", his posture relaxed and he raised one eyebrow, "So you are single mother?"

The answer was obvious, but he needed to be 100% sure - the last thing he wanted was to ruin someone's relationship, especially when there is a child involved. The nod of your head and the small smile were the final assurance he needed and without further word, he moved to the seat next to you which was previously occupied by Ino.

The sudden movement startled the baby in your arms and it immediately turned its head to the side, curiously observing the man.

"Hi, little one! My name is Naruto. Oh my, you are very cute!"

Uzumaki was good with kids. Maybe it was because of his friendly appearance or the fact he was full with energy, just like them, but there has not been a single child so far that didn't adore him from the moment they laid their eyes on him. Even Sarada, much to Sasuke's dismay.

The look that your son was giving him, however, was anything but impressed. Staring at him with his big eyes, he didn't even move a muscle, as if he was challenging him to a staring contest.

Can babies even challenge someone? Naruto never thought so, but he could swear the boy's brows furrowed just a bit, enough for him to send a clear message: "I may be cute, but you are not and neither is your attempt to impress my mom."

"He is very shy", you said, bouncing him on your lap. As a result to your constant travels due to your job, he didn't had a lot of interactions with other children or with people in general. Growing up without a father, he was very attached to you and any unknown person was always treated with suspicion.

To you he was just being cautious. To the man to your right, however, he was protective. The look he has given him was not one of a timid child, quite the opposite - he may be small, but he loved his mama and was not about to let a random man come and sweep her off her feet. Even if he was the Hokage himself.

"Well, I would love to get to know him", the man smiled, before lifting his eyes to yours, "and you, of course! Maybe... I can take you out on a dinner or something?"

"No", the word fell out of your child's mouth, before you can even start replying. Naruto looked at him, noticing the small pout that was now formed on his chubby face. Biting his lip, the Uzumaki tried his best to contain his laugh and remain serious. Not that he didn't respect the little man and how he tried to protect you, but he was so small and cute, it was hard to take him seriously.

"Hey, that is not nice!", you said to your son, giving him a look. He, however, didn't even acknowledge you, his whole attention trained on the man next to you.

"I am sorry, he just learned the word "no", and now he keep saying it at the most random times."

The blonde nodded with a smile, knowing that this was definitely NOT a random time.

"But to answer your question, WE would love to go on a dinner with you!", you adjusted the baby in your arms and the shift finally made him look at you. With a smile, you pressed a kiss to his temple, before looking back at the Hokage: "I am staying with Ino for the next three weeks. Pick us up tomorrow at 8?"

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The next day Naruto was half an hour early to the arranged time. Too scared to knock on the door and look way too eager to see you, he decided to wait outside, almost giving Ino a heart attack once she opened the door and nearly bumped her head in his chest.

"Naruto, what the hell are you doing just standing in front of my door?"

"Uh... Waiting?", he scratched the back of his head nervously, wishing there was a hole in the ground that can swallow him whole. It was not like this was his first date ever, why was he nervous about?

Deep inside he knew the answer - it was not you who was making him anxious, but your son. The way their first interaction went woke something competitive in him and now he was determined to prove himself as a man, good enough to be a partner and a father.

Being the village's hero he hasn’t faced a challenge like this for a while, so while he thought a bit of smooth talking and play time with your child were enough to win your son over, it seemed to make the situation even worse. The child refused to play with him and instead was clinging to you the whole time, giving Naruto such a look, which could only be described as a glare.

"He is not usually like this", you said at the end of your date, when you were both saying your 'goodbyes' in front of Ino's house, "I am really sorry if it made you uncomfortable or-"

Before you can finish, big calloused fingers pressed themselves to your lips, silencing you. You were glad that your son was now asleep, as he saw the gesture, he would surely cry, just like he did every time Naruto tried to grab your hand or touch you in any way during dinner.

"Hey, I think it is completely normal", the blonde let out a short breathy laugh, moving his eyes between the child and your face, "He just want to protect his mother. If I was him, I would be the same..."

Looking down, you carefully considered his words. You avoided dating after your ex left you once he found you are pregnant, so you never had the chance to observe your baby boy around men. But looking at his behaviour now, the Hokage's words made sense.

Thankfully for you, the Uzumaki was not a man who gave up easily. Pressing a kiss to your cheek, he invited you both to go and visit him the next day in the Hokage tower. He promised to give you a tour around and grab a lunch with you during his break.

For the three weeks you were in Konoha, you spend every single day with Naruto. He started going to work extra early, just so he can leave on time to pick you up and show you another one of his favourite spots around Konoha. For everyone around you, it was obvious you were absolutely whipped for one another and all this extra effort from his side seemed almost unnecessary in their eyes. For him, however, it was more than necessary, especially since your shared future was depending on it.

As a teacher, you built your job around travelling - you loved sharing your knowledge with the world, as well gaining new one from each place you visited. Such life was busy and demanding, especially for a single parent, but the pros outweighed the cons significantly.

Naruto refused to directly ask you to move to Konoha permanently, but his intentions were pretty clear - he never missed a chance to point out how good the Academy is, how there is a higher education institution being build right now and how gifted the kids in the village were. In the beginning, you didn't give any indication you were even considering staying, but after a while you started to show your interest in your own way - mainly by asking questions about the job market, the teachers in the Academy and in general the life in Konoha.

His relationship with your son also improved drastically. At first, the child stopped "glaring" at him and actually trusted him to come near you. Then, a few days later, he agreed for the first time to play ball with him and at the end of your walk in the park, he even fell asleep in Naruto's arms. By the time you had to leave, your son was so attached to the blonde, he refused to let go of his neck and go in your arms.

"We need to go, darling", you muttered tiredly, trying to detach him from the Hokage.

"No", he cried even louder, "Mama - bye!"

Letting out a loud laugh, Naruto adjusted the little boy in his arms, so he frees one hand and takes yours in it.

"Maybe mama would consider staying", he said, his grin transforming into a soft smile. Squeezing your fingers between his, he tugged you toward him, wrapping his free hand around your waist.

"I won't force you to stay if you do not want to... but I really, really wish you would consider it! I know we have been knowing each other for weeks, but damn, I am in love with you! And I love this little guy here", he looked over the child in his arms, that was now snuggling in his chest, giving you the biggest puppy eyes, "He does feel like my son. And if you leave... I may have to follow you till you agree to come back. And believe it, I do have some experience with making people come back!"

Letting out a giggle, you raise your brow at his words, the bag on your shoulder already falling down.

"Yeah? You would travel around the whole world just to bring us back to you?"

Closing the distance, he leaned his head to the side, so he can lay a small kiss on your lips. He pressed his forehead to yours, letting out a breath of relief once he heard your bag falling to the floor.

"I will travel to the end of the universe, if it means you will be with me."

cc artowork: Jayison Devadas

[maelstrom-of-emotions]

Could you recommend some SasuNaru fics?

SASUNARU FIC RECS

Alright, so here's a collection of some of my favorite, re-read worthy SasuNaru fics of all time. The list is bound to expand, but for now, we have these gems.

i'll let it grow wild in my veins by thunderpoint

Summary:

“That’s good, right?” He feels somewhat out of his mind. It's a rush he's not used to, something he doesn't particularly like, and it leaves him wondering if this is what he should have felt when this whole thing first started. “When your future brother-in-law says shit like that it means that he approves of you, right? Fuck, I’m getting married to Uchiha Itachi’s little brother, Shika. What the fuck-” Shikamaru’s face twists, “Naruto-” The kitchen door bursts open, and Temari steps into the living room, gaping at them both. “Naruto’s getting married?"

Status: Currently Ongoing, 11/?

Tags: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Arranged Marriage, Slow Burn.

Thoughts: One of the best arranged marriage fics ever, the writing is amazing and out of this world, and if you haven't read this masterpiece what are you even doing with your life?

(You can also find the author on tumblr @thunder-point.)

2. everybody knows that you cradle the sun by Lyxxie

Summary:

“Y’know—before mom passed—she used to tell me about my dad. She'd tell me the kind of person you wanted to end up with, someone you kept around. She'd tell me about opposites, about calming the other one down and bringing them back up, about how they'd do the same for you. She'd say that you wanted someone who remembered things about you, not just the big stuff. Mundane shit that doesn't need to be remembered, but they do anyway. She'd say 'keep those who chronicle your life because it's theirs, too'." OR: Naruto challenges Sasuke to a game of “who knows the other person better.” Sasuke panics when he realizes that he might be the winner because what in the actual fuck does that mean? He doesn’t know. Naruto tells him.

Status: Completed, 1/1.

Tags: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Roomates, College/University. Humor. Domestic. Explicit Sexual Content.

Thoughts: A fic I would sell my soul for. You haven't lived if you haven't read this fic.

3. Waiting for an Answer by KinomiAkai

Summary:

After eight years of struggling, Naruto finally caves and confesses to Sasuke. But it's okay; nothing is going to change between them. Everything will be the same. ...The moment Sasuke stops bringing it up every twenty seconds, it'll be the same.

Status: Completed, 1/1.

Tags: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Roomates. Fluff, Humor, Idiots in Love.

Thoughts: Sasuke is an Asshole and I am here for it.

(You can find them on tumblr @kinomiakai)

4. It's All In The Kiss (And Bondage) by Dhampir (Dhampire)

Summary:

Sasuke never looked at Naruto as anything more than an annoyance like all his other peers, but a kiss, and a little bondage, is about to change all that. Reddit Crack Fic Idea: After getting kissed in the academy and then attacked and tied up by Naruto, Sasuke realizes he has followed all the steps of the traditional Uchiha ninja courtship(An old process inspired by the kidnapping of a rival clan kunoichi). Sasuke feels really touched and starts acting like a Yandere, being really nice to Naruto in his withdrawn way and getting really mad whenever someone says something bad about Naruto.

Tags: Accidental Engagements, Crack Treated Seriously, Fluff, Humor. Tsundere to Yandere.

Status: Completed, 11/11

Thoughts: Anything by this author is an absolute masterpiece, so do check out their other works! They manage to perfectly balance humor and fluff!

5. you and me, that's my whole world by cloudyheaven

Summary:

“If you wanted me to be your Valentine this bad, you could’ve just said so,” Naruto said. The cheeky grin he was giving him made Sasuke want to kiss him again just to wipe it off his face. However, he wasn’t one to waste a good opportunity. “That’s exactly what I want,” he said, matter-of-factly. The grin fell off Naruto’s face. “Shit, are you serious?” The one where Naruto and Sasuke have been in an unofficial friends-with-benefits arrangement for months, completely unaware of their feelings for each other.

Tags: Alternate Universe - High School, Jealous Uchiha Sasuke, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Valentines Day, Love Confessions.

Status: Completed, 1/1

Thoughts: A perfect fluffy fic for grey days. Always makes me smile whenever I read it.

6. wear my heart on your sleeve by cloudyheaven

Summary:

Sasuke coughed into his hand and simply looked down at his ass. Naruto followed his gaze and found another uchiwa sown on his left buttcheek. “Oh, this is ridiculous,” he said. “Wait, is this why people have been looking at my ass so much lately?!” He turned to look at his boyfriend again. “Is this why you have been staring at it more than normal?!” Sasuke simply avoided his gaze again. “Not like I need an excuse to look at your ass.” Or, how possessive boyfriend Uchiha Sasuke found a way to mark Naruto and make it sociably acceptable.

Tags: Established Relationship, Post-Chapter 699, Fluff and Humor, Fluff Without Plot, Soft Uchiha Sasuke.

Status: Completed, 1/1.

Thoughts: Perfectly balanced fluff and humor fic by the godsend cloudyheaven.

7. all the small wild things by GreatLoversLieInHell

Summary:

Naruto doesn't like to be touched. Sasuke asks him why. (To be loved is to be changed)

Tags: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst with a Happy Ending, Established Relationship, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Canonical Child Abuse, Touch-Starved Naruto.

Status: Completed, 1/1

Thoughts: A fic that makes my soul ache. The author is simply amazing.

(You can also find them on Tumblr @greatloverslieinhell)

8. the vines that grow by GreatLoversLieInHell

Summary:

After getting discharged from the hospital, Naruto returns to a home that’s no longer standing. Sasuke, who doesn’t do well in cages, flees the first chance he gets. Unmoored, unsettled, Naruto looks to his motherland for answers. Uzushio calls her son home. The road to Uzushiogakure is long, but Sasuke walks it with him. Sasuke, who looks at him, hungry. Sasuke, who sees him, wherever the light gets in.

Tags: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Post-War, Uzumaki Naruto-Centric, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Angst With Happy Ending, Uzushiogakure | Hidden Eddy Village.

Status: Completed, 14/14.

Thoughts: I shall create a shrine for this fic one day, for the adoration is not nearly enough as it deserves.

(You can also find them on Tumblr @greatloverslieinhell)

9. A Thousand Summers More by bluelikeskies

Summary:

Sasuke has seen a million sunrises, a thousand summers, but he has never seen anything like the way Naruto smiles at him, brighter than all those sunrises and summers combined.

Tags: Pining Sasuke, Soft, Prose, Mythical Beings and Creatures.

Status: Complete, 1/1.

Thoughts: Beautiful. Simply and utterly beautiful.

10. syzygy by glassedplanets

Summary:

In which Sasuke comes home, an errand needs to be run, several people tell him things, and he realizes just what home really is, for him.

Tags: Not Canon Compliant, Reunions, Homecoming, Fluff, Mutual Pining, Happy Ending.

Status: Completed, 6/6.

Thoughts: Ethereal, I adore the writing style of this author.

11. kiss me (under the moonlight glow) by ashmes

Summary:

“You count what happened in the Academy as a kiss?” Naruto’s gaze snaps towards him so quick when he asks, “You don’t?”

Tags: Post-Canon, Post-War, Post Chapter 699, Soft.

Status: Completed, 1/1

Thoughts: I would sacrifice anything for this fanfic. It is utterly amazing.

(You can also find them on tumblr at @sapphicvevo.)

12. Let me help you (this time) by Here_to_procrastinate

Summary:

Sasuke really kind of loves his boyfriend and wishes the idiot would start looking after himself at least a little bit. ~ After the war Naruto can't stop helping everybody and is slowely but surely running himself into the ground. With a bit of help from others Sasuke tries to finally be what Naruto needs.

Tags: Whipped Sasuke, Jealous Sasuke, Everybody Loves Naruto, Fluff, Humor, A Bit of Angst, Post-Fourth Shinobi War, Protective Shikamaru & Sakura.

Status: 1/1, Complete.

Thoughts: Perfect feel good fic.

13. Overcoming Distance by Athqh16

Summary:

It starts with a bento box. Black with a white cover and a red strap to keep it together. There was nothing actually pernicious about it except for the fact that the person who'd suddenly placed it in the middle of Naruto's lonely cafeteria table was his one and only rival, Sasuke motherfucking Uchiha

Status: 7/7, Completed.

Tags: Modern Au, Angst, Love Confessions, Hurt/Comfort, Friends To Lovers.

Thoughts: An absolute classic, I adore this!

(You can also find the author on tumblr @atqh16)

14. homeward by mnee

Summary:

Sasuke returns to Konoha. Or, more accurately, to Naruto.

Tags: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Post-Chapter 699, Soft, Boys in Love.

Status: Completed, 1/1

Thoughts: Utterly divine, it's so soft I want to cry.

15. a public display of affection by fiveandnocents

Summary:

In the three hours since their arrival, Gaara has stumbled across them kissing no less than seven times. Considering that they are all ninja, he is very aware that this is no coincidence. Or, five times Naruto and Sasuke get caught (plus the first time no one was around).

Tags: 5+1 Things, Possessive Sasuke, Kissing, Post-Canon, Not Boruto Canon.

Status: Completed, 1/1.

Thoughts: This story could not be any more perfect.

16. The Way To A Man's Heart by littledust

Summary:

Sasuke has no idea how to woo Naruto.

Tags: Fluff, Humor.

Status: Completed, 1/1

Thoughts: Perfect fic for a pick-me-up. Makes me smile everytime.

17. the time traveler's husband by blind_io

Summary:

Throughout his life, Naruto travels to different moments in Sasuke’s timeline. It changes them both.

Tags: Time Travel, Time Travel Fix-It, Alternate Universe, Inspired by The Time Traveler's Wife.

Status: Completed, 1/1.

Thoughts: Brilliant. Simply and utterly brilliant.

18. The sun is too bright, it hurts by waywardfacegarden

Summary:

The first time Sasuke sees Naruto, they are six years old. Sasuke is not stupid, he learns fast, and there are three basic things about Naruto you can know after being five seconds in the same room as him: first, he’s noisy. Second, he talks a lot. Third, he’s annoying. Years later, Sasuke thinks the same, but Naruto is much more than that to him.

Tags: Childhood Friends, Enemies To Friends To Lovers, Everyone is Alive, Modern AU.

Status: Completed, 1/1.

Thoughts: chefs kiss Magnifique. Deserves all the kudos in the world.

19. i want you to want me (i'd love you to love me) by Aethelar

Summary:

Five times Naruto kissed Sasuke and he left, plus one time Sasuke kissed Naruto and stayed.

Tags: 5+1, Angst with a Happy Ending.

Status: Completed, 1/1.

Thoughts: This fic is something to live for. It is just so beautiful.

20. Red or Blue? by ReleasedFromHisCage

Summary:

Naruto took over his godfather's store so he could retire and creates a safe space for his regulars and one-time customers alike, mostly his regulars though. Sasuke Uchiha is one of these regulars.

Tags: Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Alternate Universe - Bookstore, Mild Hurt/Comfort.

Status: Completed, 1/1

Thoughts: It's everything I've ever wanted in a fic.

21. don't stay away for too long by kintou

Summary:

With Naruto living there Sasuke's apartement has finally turned into a home. So what he doesn't quite get is that Naruto is here, in his pyjama's, telling him he's going to move out.

Tags: Modern Au, Roomates, Domestic Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Breakfast.

Status: Completed, 1/1.

Thoughts: And they were roommates. Oh my god they were roommates. I am a puddle on the floor. This is simply too precious. It's not good for my heart.

(You can also find them on Tumblr @soft-fics)

22. Killing it by dawnstruck

Summary:

A year after Jiraiya's death, a new Icha Icha volume gets published. Self-declared Number One Fan, Hatake Kakashi, grows suspicious, but keeps buying them anyway.

Tags: Humor, Mid Crack, Mind Angst, Kakashi POV.

Status: Completed, 1/1.

Thoughts: From the summary to the last line this fic had me hooked. Witty and charming and just the best.

23. The Color Of Your Heart by RedRemember

Summary:

The Uchiha were blessed ninjas who possessed demon-like abilities and demon blood. Their race had been wiped out almost to extinction, but a survivor sat in Kakashi’s midst. Kakashi felt apprehensive about training such a child, not wanting to train a bloodthirsty creature how to be a better hunter. & “You’re experiencing your first heat.”, and “You’re an omega.” These were phrases his caretaker kept saying to him. Naruto felt extremely weak, but he understood one thing, and that was he would never be an alpha like Sasuke.

Tags: Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Omega Naruto, Alpha Sasuke, Personal Growth, Blood and Violence, Mating Bond.

Status: Ongoing, 7/12

Thoughts: When I tell you I hit that subscribe button so fast. Simply perfect. All my hopes wrapped into a beautiful fic.

24. Bouquet of hate by FoolishFortuna

Summary:

Sasuke confesses his feelings with an unusual bunch of flowers. Humorous fluff!

Tags: Fluff, Flowers, Humor, Getting Together, Confessions, First Kiss, Sasuke's a Dick but he's adorable.

Status: Completed, 1/1.

Thoughts: Hilarious, sweet and amazing - a perfect fic to cheer you up on bad days, sad days or just any day in general.

25. Bare by KinomiAkai

Summary:

He's too bare. Too awake. Too used to the night and too desperate to leave it. Naruto's hand is a lifeline.

Tags: Sasuke POV, Love, Poetic, Romance, Ficlet.

Status: Completed, 1/1.

Thoughts: Simply gorgeous, ethereal, beautiful. Short and Sweet. It's perfection to the very T.

26. Just kiss me, you idiot. by yes_iamafrog

Summary:

Ino decided to have the annual New Year's Eve party at her house. Or: Naruto and Sasuke kiss at midnight on January 1st.

Tags: Fluff, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Pining, Idiots in Love, Domestic Fluff, New Year's Kiss.

Status: Completed, 1/1

Thoughts: The sweetest way I have ever been destroyed.

(You can also find them here on tumblr at @whatisgrass!)

27. i love chaos, i love toxic by minttens

Summary:

Sasuke cannot handle the gossip that Naruto is in love with someone, and he makes it his mission to find out who.

Tags: Angst, Fluff, Post-War, Jealous Sasuke.

Status: Completed, 1/1

Thoughts: I'm gonna be honest, I cried. This fic is absolute perfection, someone please build a temple in it's name.

(Also, you need an AO3 account to read this fic!)

28. unforgivable by eloquentstars

Summary:

Lesson one in Dating Uzumaki Naruto 101 is: Never get between a man and his food.

Tags: Fluff Without Plot, Modern Au, Cute, Tooth-Rotting Fluff.

Status: Completed, 1/1.

Thoughts: Sobbing for the tragic ending of Naruto/Pizza, but Sasuke/Naruto are too cute for me to mourn too long.

29. Blue Oceans and Summer Suns by orphan_account

Summary:

“Stop fucking lying to me.” He knows he isn’t, but it’s difficult for him to accept that it’s Naruto’s genuine feelings. “It isn’t a lie,” Naruto insists, leaning in once more to peck his lips as if to prove a point. He’s half on top of Sasuke now, who lays flat on his back staring up at him. “You should see yourself right now. You look as if you’re looking at something worth more than your own life.”

Tags: Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Idiots in Love, Love Confessions, Sleepy Cuddles, Smitten Sasuke.

Status: Completed, 1/1.

Thoughts: I’m, like, one hundred percent super duper unbelievably in love with this fic.

30. Inevitablity by Sanauria_Maldhun

Summary:

Naruto's stressed and pining after a man who views him only as a friend. Deciding to get married to Ino isn't the best decision he's made (ever), given that they had been absolutely drunk while making such a declaration, but it's... a decision. Besides, what does he have to lose?

Tags: Background Sakura/Ino, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Mutual Pining, Angst, Jealous Sasuke, Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending.

Status: Completed, 4/4.

Thoughts: It's like a cup of coffee/tea that perfectly hits the spot. I love this fic, I've re-read this so many times and it always make me feel. I love Ino & Naruto's friendship.

31. Armistice by surveycorpsjean

Summary:

Sasuke is still here. Or maybe; love hasn't passed them yet.

Tags: Fix-It, Getting Together, Pining, Takes Place Three Years After The Boruto Movie, Where Naruto Gets Divorced and Sasuke never gets married.

Status: Completed, 1/1

Thoughts: Best of the best. Like, the best.

32. speak now or forever hold your peace by frogsterz

Summary:

Will the ceremony be over by the time Sasuke makes it back? Is the news even accurate? Maybe Naruto’s not getting married, he’s getting…carried, somewhere. On a palanquin. Or he’s getting buried. No, that’s worse. (Sasuke is convinced by a passing rumour that the love of his life, Uzumaki Naruto, is about to throw the biggest and most extravagant wedding ceremony in Konoha's history...but he's not the groom. How could such a disaster have happened to him?)

Tags: Misunderstandings, Idiots in Love, Sasuke Has The Emotional Intelligence of a Wet Loaf of Bread, Post-Canon, Idiots in Love, Happy Ending.

Status: Completed, 1/1.

Thoughts: These idiots, I love 'em to death.

33. symbol of the uchiha by humdrum_hummingbird

Summary:

Sasuke can't sleep, which, even after the war, is pretty typical. Instead, he stays up and watches Naruto sleep, and tonight, like most nights, Naruto is wearing a shirt with the Uchiha fan emblazoned on the back. You can't really blame Sasuke for being a little possessive after everything they've been through.

Tags: Sasuke Returns To Konoha, Possessive Sasuke, Naruto is a Ray of Sunshine, Comfort No Hurt, Soft Fluff, Boys in Love.

Status: Completed, 1/1.

Thoughts: This is so soft and gentle and tender I'm crying.

34. Final Destination by chaosxxx

Summary:

“The future is never set in stone. Even the smallest decision can alter its course. One action, be it accidental or intentional, can result in you meeting the love of your life! Or it can leave you alone and miserable… or dead. What I have here in front of you are the cards that show what lies at the end of each broad road.” There's a festival in Konoha, and Sasuke and Sakura visit a fortune telling booth. They just wanted a bad palm reading, not this disturbingly accurate nonsense! (SasuNaru fic. Pre-timeskip. Happy Ending)

Tags: Fortune Telling, Humor, Romance, Happy Ending, Confused Naruto, Pining Sasuke, Flirting, Cute.

Status: Completed, 1/1

Thoughts: Everyone needs this fortune teller. Where can I meet her? Simply amazing and precious. Confused Naruto is just so adorable.

35. You Taste Like Coffee by itadakimasu

Summary:

All Sasuke really wanted was his nightly caffeine fix. How did it turn into this?

Tags: Coffee AU, Barista!Naruto, Confident!Sasuke, Oneshot, Sexual Content, Cute, Fluff.

Status: Completed, 1/1.

Thoughts: Perfect, like a good cup of coffee. Kicking my feet giggling throughout the entire thing.

36. Curiosity killed a cat by LydiaClairvoyanne

Summary:

Naruto realizes Sasuke behaves like a cat, and in his last attempt to make friends with the Uchiha, he tries to treat him like he would a scared, lone, traumatized, stray kitten. (I wonder what can go wrong with a plan like this.) (Nothing, the answer is. Nothing, because the plan works.)

Tags: Sasuke Behaves Like A Cat, Naruto Notices This And Treats Him Like One, Fluff and Smut, Fluff and Angst, Sleepy Cuddles, Traumatized Boys, Soft Boys.

Status: Completed, 13/13

Thoughts: One of the best fics, it manages to give such a good character study without even trying. I love this fic, I would like to marry it.

37. in his arms by loverofgaydragons

Summary:

Naruto was there the night Sasuke left Konoha.

Tags: Angst, No Happy Ending, Hurt No Comfort.

Status: Completed, 1/1

Thoughts: I sobbed so hard while reading this. It's just so beautiful, it's so beautifully written, it make me choke on sobs, I had to clean my glasses due to the tears, it's amazing. A heartbreak that hurts so good I will let it continue.

38. Time to Smile by hinata22

Summary:

Sasuke is on the verge of leaving the village forever. Naruto has other ideas.

Tags: Boys Kissing, Confession, Happy Ending.

Status: Complete, 1/1

Thoughts: If you thought the last one was sad, here's a happier version. I read this fic back when I didn't have an AO3 account and would desperately keep the tab open as to not lose it. This fic is heartbreaking in it's beauty and lifting in it's sweet moments. A blessing, this fic is a true blessing.

39. The Master Plan of An Uchiha Husband-To-Be by Watermelonsmellinfellon

Summary:

Uchiha Sasuke is determined to marry his new best friend Naruto so he can share his family with the blond boy. He'll be the best husband ever and Naruto won't want for anything ever again!

Tags: Humor, First Crush, Pre-Relationship, No Uchiha Massacre, Fluff.

Status: Complete, 2/2.

Thoughts: Simply adorable, from start to finish.

40. Unrequited: sometimes it is, and sometimes it isn't by KizuKatana

Summary:

Naruto hates to hurt people's feelings. So when Hinata puts him on the spot about dating her, he doesn't want to come straight out and tell her he doesn't like her that way. Instead, he comes up with a poorly thought out idea to tell her he is dating someone already. All he needs to do to convince her is to show her a photo of the guy. He just needs to get a picture of someone so ridiculously hot she will know it's hopeless. He actually has someone in mind, a guy he'd had a one-sided thing for from his gym. Although, the guy is sort of an ass and probably wouldn't agree to posing for a picture. Naruto decides to ask him anyway. What's he got to lose?

Tags: Fluff, Unrequited Love Or Is It?, Humor, Cute.

Status: Completed, 1/1

Thoughts: Absolute blast, had a lot of fun reading this!

Aight, that's it for now.

[eddiemunson-reader-shame]

Eddie Munson x Fem!Reader: Space Oddity, Part 1

In my ongoing quest to write more self indulgent reader inserts, I present to you: Weird Reader.

Sorry guys, but in school I played with the girls who pretended to be Warrior Cats, and ate lunch with guys who unironically did the Naruto run. The only thing separating me from this reader in this story is the fact that I mask in public and unmask at home.

[Chapter Two]

***

“You want me to play D&D with you guys?”

You watched with suspicious eyes as Mike Wheeler and Dustin Henderson nodded frantically, stirring the sweet, syrupy dessert of fruit cocktail in your lunch tray compartment. Staring at you was like staring at a taxidermy raccoon: you were dead eyed, but still positioned as though you could jump out and give someone rabies.

If he had been asked at gunpoint, Mike would have admitted that you were a last resort choice.

“Yeah…” Mike said cautiously, trying not to stare directly into your eyes.

Dustin smiled, leaning forward.

“You like D&D, right?” He tried, hopeful.

Everyone they had asked in Hawkins High had so far said no to subbing in for Lucas Sinclair, and Mike had balked at the idea of even thinking of asking you when they got rejected for the fifth time. You were even worse than the freaks of Hawkins High. The collective student body had come together as one to declare that you were a weird, mean bitch.

“I like what I’ve heard of it…” you mumbled, “I never played it before…”

Dustin’s face lit up like a Christmas tree.

“Really?” He asked, his geometric pattern button up nearly dipping into his open can of chocolate pudding, “Never ever? So you’d need to be taught?”

Before you could venture an answer, Mike pulled him back.

“Could you-… Could you just excuse us please? Thank you.”

You nodded slowly while Mike dragged Dustin away to a corner of the bustling lunchroom. While they conversed in hushed whispers, you sat there alone, the students sharing your space giving you a wide berth at the head of the lunch table.

“Are you out of your fucking mind?!” Mike hissed at Dustin, “You’re going to ask The Bitch to play, and she’s never even played D&D before?!”

Mike knew the stories. Robin had once asked to borrow a pencil from your jubilee of pens you kept in the pocket of your shortalls. Reluctantly you agreed, and then you had a meltdown when she took the flat contractor’s pencil with the He-Man sticker on it. Steve had told any of The Party who would listen about his encounter: even Eleven could perfectly recite the story about the weird girl who had flat tired Steve in the hall every day at 9am when he walked by Mrs. Click’s class, ruining the backs of his brown suede moccasins so often that his mom stopped replacing them after a while. His description of the perp matched you exactly.

Even Mike on his first day of school had been subject to your oddities. A casual lunchtime stroll found him tripping over a trap, made of plastic milk crates and dead branches you’d constructed by the football field. The encounter ended with him being subjected to your twenty minute screaming lecture on why it was rude of him to wreck the “houses” you’d made for the skinks that darted around the concrete walkways.

Mike Wheeler hated you because of reputation, but Dustin knew better than to fall victim to heresy. He had seen the drawings of dragons, daleks, dinosaurs, wolves and mermaids on xerox paper you had left behind once in the lunchroom. When he found you to give them back (you didn’t say thank you), he’d been gifted with a drawing a day later in his locker: a very detailed Spock giving the Vulcan salute, “Live Long and Prosper” written underneath in bubble letters above your loopy cursive signature. He still kept it taped to his Geometry folder.

“Dude, yes! Chill out!” Dustin hissed back, looking at you fondly from a distance, “You remember what Eddie said? ‘Find the little lost sheepies that need us’. Look at her, man. Doesn’t that scream little lost sheep to you?”

They turned to look at you simultaneously. After looking both ways to check the coast was clear, you commandeered Dustin’s abandoned chocolate pudding. Spooning the syrupy peaches, pears, pineapple, and single half of maraschino cherry of your fruit cocktail inside, you mixed the chocolate and fruit together. Lathing up the leftover pudding with your tongue, the spoon was licked clean before you tossed it vaguely into an indignant girl’s creamed corn, but she was too afraid to yell at you while you were armed with chocolate.

With great relish you began eating your concoction with your fingers.

Mike grimaced while Dustin just laughed.

“She’s perfect.” Dustin gushed, “And you should see her drawings, they’re badass!”

“Just because she’s a gross weirdo who’s good at drawing doesn’t mean she knows jackshit about tabletop games!” Mike growled, nearly gagging when he saw you mop up the leftover pudding in the can with your bread roll, “You bring a beginner into Hellfire Club, Eddie’s gonna blow a goddamn gasket! He’s already on the warpath because of Lucas’ championship game tonight, can you imagine what he’ll do when we bring in The Bitch?!”

“Mike, relax. Eddie’s not going to know she’s a novice. Everyone still flips through the handbook, they won’t notice if she does it. We’ll give her a crash course, I’ll even let her borrow my Player’s Handbook so she can come in looking like she at least knows the basics. And if Eddie does get pissed we can just… ease him into the idea that a succulent babe wants to play with him.”

Dustin made the shape of a curved figure with his hands, while Mike looked ready to punch him in the groin.

“You think he’s going to fold for a fat girl?” Mike snarled.

“… Shut up Mike,” Dustin said, immediately protective of you, “He’s going to fold for a cute girl. Look at her! Soft arms, round face, thick thighs… Eddie’s gonna lose his goddamn mind, man! That’s like his ideal type.”

They continued to argue back and forth, finally coming to a grudging resolution when Dustin dragged Mike back by the shirt to your lunch table.

“If this goes to shit, I know where you live.” Mike hissed quietly.

“Shhhh!” Dustin slapped Mike’s arm before looking back at you with a dopey grin.

You were staring down both of them, eyes flicking from Dustin to Mike. The empty pudding cup can was sitting exactly where it had been once full before, but the pop top was gone, and you were pretending like you hadn’t just gone to town on an unholy concoction.

“I made a decision.” You said suddenly.

The two freshmen looked at one another, before leaning in closer. Mike looked skeptical, but Dustin’s grin was nearly splitting his face in half.

“I’ll play with you guys.” You said after a few seconds.

Dustin couldn’t help but fist pump into the air, nearly tipping over backwards on his chair while Mike just grimaced like he was about to puke. An imperfect smile with chocolate teeth flashed at the boys, and you were just about to speak when Mike stopped the party.

“Okay, listen… if you’re going to play, you’re going to have to put in the work, it’s not like playing Monopoly.” He said, staring you down, “This is serious shit.”

You closed your mouth, head tilting to the side.

“Oh… I thought it was like, making your own characters and pretending to be them and stuff.” You said.

“It is, but it’s a lot more nuanced than that. Our Advanced D&D campaigns are different. We play very combat heavy sessions, we use actual strategy in battle. It’s not a goddamn tea party.”

“And Eddie takes the rules very seriously…” Dustin chimed in, “So we’ll have to familiarize you with the basics.”

“Eddie!?”

Both boys jumped back as you banged your hands on the table, getting up close and nearly crawling on top over to them. The students sitting next to you collectively jumped, the metal legs of their chairs scraping and making a horrid screech against the linoleum flooring.

“You mean… you’re talking about Eddie The Freak, right?” You hissed under your breath.

“Eddie Munson.” Dustin corrected, frowning when you called him a freak, “He’s the dungeon master of our club… of Hellfire Club.”

Your eyes widened, and your chest began to rise and fall rapidly.

“You’re right though. That is the very same freak.” Mike cut in, lowering his pitch hoping that feeding into the negativity would scare you away, “He’s a dick to newcomers. You might get the boot if he finds out we brought you in without having any background knowledge of D&D.”

His words made you shrink back, looking at your lunch tray and the little mess of chocolate you’d unknowingly splattered on your clothes. Dustin could have killed Mike, while the latter just looked smug.

And then… you began to giggle.

“Okay…” you smiled.

“Okay?!” Mike and Dustin repeated.

Mike managed to speak up while Dustin was still picking his smiling jaw up off the floor.

“You’re sure you still want to play?” Mike asked, panicking as he pulled out all the stops to get you to quit, “Eddie is not a patient guy with new players, he’s going to rip you to pieces and sacrifice you to the devil!”

You nodded quickly, breathlessly hyperventilating.

“Yeah…! I… If Eddie Munson is running the game… I really wanna play.”

Dustin gave a high pitched giggle of his own and shook Mike’s shoulder, absolutely loving the way your face broke out into a goofy grin. You didn’t even flinch at Mike’s attempts to scare you.

“You got a thing for him or something?” Mike ventured cautiously.

“Yes.”

You answered so unabashedly, with no hesitation, that for a minute it actually endeared you to Mike. Who knew that The Bitch of Hawkins High was actually a human being with wants and needs?

“Wait… are you serious?” Mike asked.

“Uh huh…”

You giggled, biting your lower lip and covering your burning face.

“I think… I think he’s really hot…”

If they had been drinking Tab, they would have spit the liquid out all over you.

“You think Eddie’s hot?” Dustin wheezed.

“Yeah… um… I’ve had this like monster crush on Eddie since I was in fifth grade. He did like this talent show and played the guitar real good, and he’s all loud and funny and crazy and I think he’s got a real charming smile…”

The cadence in your already deep contralto was lilting into a mezzo soprano the more you talked about their sadistic dungeon master, and you were rocking side to side in your plastic chair while Dustin and Mike just watched you make a complete ass of yourself.

This probably would have turned into two hours of blabbing, had not Mike refocused you and Dustin and begun to actually lay out the basics of TSR’s Advanced Dungeons and Dragons. No time to lose, back to business. If you were going to play with Eddie you had a lot of catching up to do. They had a spare set of dice, and Mike helped you roll for stats as Dustin began to write out a crude character sheet for you based on your imaginative ideas.

“We can probably make you a character very quickly.” Mike said, flipping through his own Mead Composition notebook as he checked past characters that had died valiantly in battle, “I have one you can use. Barbarians are stupid easy for first timers since you’re just hitting shit with a sword-...”

“I want a character based on my story I’m writing!” You exclaimed, and then you subjected Mike to your brief (lie) synopsis of one of many witchy characters who was cursed by a dark goddess.

It took a lot of adjusting and words that held no meaning to you, like “Domain of Trickery” and “Cleric of Shar”. The two freshmen helped you settle on a character that would be deemed useful for Hellfire’s campaign, and made sure to force feed you every rule and spell that Gygax and Arneson had conceived for your chosen class. True to his word, Dustin let you borrow the Player’s Handbook he carried with him at all times when the bell to conclude lunch rang out. You took it with promises that you’d give it back when you met them outside of the drama room later after school, already burying your nose in the pages when you walked off to your class.

The boys saw a different side of you that possibly no one else in the school ever had: a familiar side, a human side. A side that was brutally honest and sometimes a little mean, but just as vulnerable and relatable as anyone else. A consensus had been reached during their shared English class: you were definitely weird, but actually pretty smart and imaginative. Possibilities of keeping you on as a permanent member were being discussed when Dustin and Mike found you hiding behind the lockers just outside the drama room around three pm.

“What are you doing?” Mike asked.

You shook your head, clutching your fat trapper keeper to your chest and handing Dustin back his Player’s Handbook.

“Eddie’s in there…” you muttered, chewing on the spine of your trapper keeper covered in duct tape

“Yeah, he usually gets there with Jeff, Gareth and Frank really early, to set up the map and the dice towers.” Mike nodded.

From the rectangular slat of a window, one could see Gareth and Frank meticulously setting up Jenga pieces and miniatures on top of a slab of butcher paper marked in sharpie, janky cindrilical tubes painted to look like castle towers were set up at each place at the table (the dice towers, fashioned from Pringles cans, cardboard, glue and paint). Eddie and Jeff were deep in conversation, plugging in lamps and electric candelabras left over from the drama club’s last production of ‘Pride and Prejudice’. Inside the mood was almost holy, reverent (or like Eddie liked to call it: a softcore porn on Valentine’s day mood), and the boys couldn’t help the eagerness as they went to the door.

You, however, stayed firmly planted behind the lockers.

“What are you doing?!” Mike hissed, “Come on! We’re gonna be late because of you!”

“I don’t wanna go in…!” You snapped back, suddenly shy.

Mike looked at Dustin, ready to destroy him, while Dustin tried to talk you down.

“Hey, hey! Come on, it’s okay. Don’t worry! You have a good character, and if you need help you can just sit with me and Mike-…”

“But what if he doesn’t like me?” You protested.

“I swear to you on my mother that Eddie is going to love you.” Dustin said, trying to calm you down, “You’re great. You actually came with a character to play, and he’s going to be so happy that a girl is showing interest in his hobbies.”

You were about to turn tail and leave when you felt an iron grip around the meat of your bicep, pulling you forward with an unnatural strength born entirely of Nerd Rage.

“Oh hell no!” Mike said, pulling you kicking and protesting towards the door, “You’re not doing this to me right now god dammit! You’re going to get your ass in there, and you’re going to play! I didn’t sit through lunch listening to your weird edgy character backstory just so you could pussy out at the last minute! Now get your ass. In. NOW!”

With a harsh shove, you flew into the drama room – tripping on your own two feet trying to catch yourself – and spilling the contents of your trapper keeper all over the ground. Strong hands caught you before you face planted into the floor, holding you steady.

“Easy, easy!” Called out a familiar voice, “Goddamn... What the hell was that for, Mike?! You could’ve broken her nos-…”

Eddie Munson’s voice trailed off, and the boys watched as their fearless leader, their metalhead bard, began to stare open mouthed slack jawed at you.

“You told us to find a lost sheep.” Mike snarled, “So here she is.”