#if i sell something for 8$ i only make $2 of it and that doesn't include the cost of production for the item

[petricorah]

Hello!! I made some test sticker sheets. However, they didn't turn out exactly as I wanted, so I don't want to sell them for full price. And any less than that, given Et*y's fees, would have me in the red, so I'm giving them away as freebees with another purchase in my shop!

Please note that these are B-grade because they are transparent and there is color variation.

I hope to make some more, actual sticker sheets I can sell in the future!

see below the cut for other items currently in my shop!

[bokettochild]

Just saw the update!

So, first thoughts!

Gremlin Legend and Sky is something I am LIVING for. Sky's little look of approval as he stands between Wars and Legend after that little move is sending me!

(Wild is not impressed)

I also really love that JoJo played with Warriors' cape/scarf being capable of doing that, which is a major risk btw, but I love that we see it's potential now!

Like, Legend's timing is perfect (and I love that this confirms the Legend v. Wars dynamic we all love) especially considering Hyrule was literally talking about the same thing and you'd THINK Captain-War-Hero over here would be more cautious because of it (although the fact this implies Legend doesn't trigger Warriors danger sense is GREAT for the fluff fic writers like me!)

Time and Wars looking like disappointed parents though is brilliant

(Warriors with messy hair is so funny to me, help)

The continued portrayal of Time being too harsh with the boys, all tense after what happened to Twilight, that's great. i'm glad the consequences of past events are following them, it really makes this all feel linear!

I also am ALL HERE for the boys finding their differences! Warriors and Wild both admitting to being new to dungeon crawling and the monsters involved is a great thing we've all been playing with in fics, but making it cannon feels like validation :)

Also, Warriors being defensive of that, and maybe a bit prickly about their judgement, I think it shows a lot of him. he's got his pride,a although he's learned to tame it. He's feeling a bit miffed to realize how different he is, but doesn't want them seeing him as lesser as well (although they never would). I can also hear him using a clipped military sort of tone when speaking here. It's just the way his words are selected and strung together that makes it seem he's being very to the point, direct, and cold in his tone, which really sells the whole difference between a soldier and the "average nobody" that the rest of them were (ironic, since he's trying to act like the difference isn't a big deal but only further accentuates it this way).

Twilight being pleased that Epona is fine and just enjoying a meal made me grin so big though. He's all worried for his girl but she is, quite literally, happy as a horse over there LOL

Also, this bit:

recognition for Sky's right-handedness, my beloved! (JoJo is giving us all the easter eggs!)

The fact that the passage is too small to let them all fight though is a brilliant way of preventing some of our heavy hitters and more skilled heroes from being able to do anything though!

I like how that gives us the chance to see Time one-shot the foe and also gives him the impression that the rest are maybe not skilled enough to do this alone. WE all know they are, but they're a handicap to each other right now, and it's only further cementing in his mind that they're not ready for all this, which will make his overbearing speech and the judgement he casts on them in combat all the more an issue.

I mean, we all know the hero's shade was like that, but JoJo has shown Time acting this way from the start

(Deep Shadows P.2)

(Likelike)

So I guess we're in for more of that now, and most likely someone (probably Legend, as it's usually him, or Wind, who is very aware of judgement from teh rest) is definitely going to have to call him on it soon, maybe in the dungeon. Will that lead to some bonding with Time where he has to admit he cares and worries about them as though they're his own? I hope so!

Anyways, all this to say, we really are seeing how much they struggle to work together, so hopefully this dungoen will teach them all how to do that better, as Time mentioned earlier

(Dawn p.8)

Now, to finish it off!I would like to thank JoJo for giving us so many beautiful shots of Twi this time around. I'll admit it now, he's pretty darn fine <3

That said, I'm loving the Legend content too! i hope we get to see some more starring moments from him going forwards, what with him being the dungeon veteran and all! It's great seeing his childish/playful side these last few updates, but I'm really craving some veteran Legend right now >:)

[danieyells]

hi there,

thank you so much for all the voicelines you post !! if it’s okay, can i request subaru’s ?

thank you again !

You're welcome! At some point I might go back and put in the ones I leave out because they don't appeal to me as much lol but since i always end up posting 99% of them anyway I think it's enough for most people hahaha. It's all of them now! Sorry for the delay.

I WAS GONNA OMIT ONE OR TWO BECAUSE OF SPOILERS but eh i'll just warm for like. extra spoilers. since after doing more code peeking it wasn't the spoiler i thought it was. SUBARU IS A SWEETIE THOUGH. I also read Subaru's chats which were put in the code recently and. Man this guy needs anxiety meds. I have a small guess as to what his stigma is, but we'll learn in a few days anyway.

Hello: (the first time the game is opened after that character is set as home screen NPC. Only happens once per day, unless the character is switched out and back.)

"I'm very sorry to have kept you waiting. It's wonderful to see you again."

You've Got Mail: (whenever there's something in the inbox, usually Arena rewards)

"It looks like there's a notice for you. I'd be happy to go pick it up for you if you've got your hands full. Oh, forgive me if I'm overstepping."

oh no he's anxious about helping--

Default: (requires no affinity, has no time constraints)

"I really am so lucky to be surrounded by so many kind people like you."

"I never thought I'd get the chance to enjoy the lifestyle of a student until I came to Darkwick. Every day truly is fulfilling here."

it feels like subaru is like. . .the only one who actually enjoys school life here. . .or who really enjoys being here period lmao. . . .

"You think I'm always smiling? Ha ha, I hear that a lot. It just happens when I'm around all of you."

"I may be the captain, but it's just in name. I think Haku is much better suited for the job than me."

"I've been working since I was four, so people often said I was mature for my age. But the truth is, I've still got a lot to learn."

that makes two characters whose parents have essentially been keeping them from normal life and normal childhood for work reasons since they were four year olds. . . .

Affinity 1: (between 5am and 11am)

"I tend to just have hot water for breakfast. I know it would be better for me to eat a proper meal, but it's just so much effort."

DO WE REALLY HAVE TO START WITH "I NEED THE GHOULS TO EAT PROPER FUCKIN MEALS". . . .

Affinity 2: (between 11am and 4pm)

"I'm sorry I'm so late. The campus is so crowded I can never manage to walk in a straight line, so it always takes me longer than I think. Silly, isn't it?"

baby you're hardly the first person i've met with anxiety about crowds. you're fine.

Affinity 3: (between 4pm and 8pm)

"What would I do without Haku's help? Hotarubi would be a mess without him."

Affinity 4: (between 8pm and 5am)

"I wonder if I should apply early to take out any common artifacts I might need for this mission. I'll ask Haku what he thinks..."

Affinity 5: (between 8pm and 5am)

"Ah!  You surprised me there... I just got back from a small errand. Do you need something?"

Affinity 6: (between 4pm and 8pm)

"Ever since I was a child, the performing arts were my only focus. Maybe that's why people always say my mannerisms are so peculiar. It bothers you too, doesn't it?"

poor boy doesn't know how to act if he isn't acting. . .he doesn't know how to exist off-script. . .no wonder he made a deal with a demon. it's probably the first thing he's ever done for himself.

Affinity 7: (between 11am and 4pm)

"I'd like to go to the cafeteria, but the line is always so long. I feel bad taking time to choose while people are waiting behind me. The bar of entry feels a little high."

i am once again suggesting subaru get anxiety meds. hell go to sinnostra and get some weed, i bet they sell that. i hear it can help.

Affinity 8: (between 4pm and 8pm)

"I'm just about to go and meet a friend. I hate to inconvenience you like this, but if it's something urgent, could you speak to Haku about it instead?"

Affinity 9: (between 8pm and 5am)

"What am I going to do? We're supposed to be meeting up in an hour... If I cancel now, they'll hate me..."

Affinity 10: (between 10pm and midnight)

"Whew... I'll walk you back to your house, {PC}. Oh, it's no problem at all, I assure you! I wanted some fresh air anyway."

Affinity 11: (between 5am and 11am)

"I have an Anomalous Ecology test coming up. It's such a fascinating subject, I couldn't help but stay up all night studying. Now I'm a little sleep-deprived."

Affinity 12: (between 11am and 4pm)

"I'm going to stretch my legs a little. I might not have a show to practice for right now, but I need to keep putting myself through my paces. I'll get rusty otherwise."

Affinity 13: (between 4pm and 8pm)

"I'm sorry my phone's been making so much noise. I recently downloaded an app by mistake, and it won't stop sending me notifications..."

awww he's also technologically incompetent. . .poor guy was probably raised with such a heavy focus on his career he just. never needed a smartphone. anyone he needed to contact or who needed to contact him was probably always very close by. it sounds like he didn't even properly go to school before going to Darkwick. Somebody please take this boy on a walk. like anywhere. take him to a library. buy him a churro. can sho make churros? this is somebody who's never had any sort of normal social experience and sees how different he is and wishes it weren't the case, unlike Ritsu who assumes everyone else is like him, i think he'd like to have some more Experiences.

Affinity 14: (between 5am and 11am)

"... ...Oh! Hello, {PC}—I didn't even notice you there. My mind was somewhere else."

Affinity 15: (between 5am and 11am)

"Good morning! Sorry? My hair's messy? You're right, it's sticking right up at the front... That's embarrassing. I'll fix it right away."

Affinity 16: (between 11am and 4pm)

"I usually have lunch in the dormitory. I do eat on the terrace with Lyca every now and then, but he seems so busy these days..."

Lyca is one of the members of Obscuary, btw! Seems like he and Subaru are friends.

Affinity 17: (between 10pm and midnight)

"I didn't take you for a night owl, {PC}. Since you're here, I suppose I'll stay up a little longer. You're sure you're okay? You're not sleepy?"

Affinity 18: (between 8pm and 5am)

"Do you visit Sinostra very often, {PC}? I see... Oh, no reason. I was just making conversation. Ha ha."

why do you ask that. . .a certain mafioso captain wouldn't happen to be suspicious of you would he. . .or maybe you owe them money. . .or maybe you used to be part of Sinostra and moved to Hotarubi. . . .

Affinity 19: (between 10pm and midnight)

"It's getting late, {PC}. How about we finish this tomorrow? Thank you for keeping me company all this time."

Affinity 20: (between 5am and 11am)

"Oh, I couldn't ask you to come all the way to my room to wake me up—I'd feel terrible. I do very much appreciate the thought, though."

it's okay buddy jin already makes them do it, one more pit stop won't hurt.

Affinity 21: (between 11am and 4pm)

"Oh, hello, {PC}. Sorry, I was actually just on my way out. I should be back by evening—do you mind if we speak then?"

Affinity 22: (between 4pm and 8pm)

"Lyca has seen my message, so why hasn't he responded to it? I hope nothing bad has happened to him..."

Affinity 23: (between 8pm and 5am)

"Lyca will adapt well to human society, I'm sure of it. I'm so relieved that Darkwick chose to trust him. I can't thank you enough for your help."

he really likes Lyca huh? that is his dog.

Affinity 24: (between 10pm and midnight)

"You can't sleep? Then let me tell you some stories. Legend has it that evil spirits appear once you've told a hundred. Now, what number was I up to..."

BOY IS TRYNA GET YOUR ASS HAUNTED.

Affinity 25(max): (no time constraints)

"I don't want to seem like I'm testing you, I just... I get really anxious sometimes... I'm sorry. I'm being weird, aren't I?"

he's the type to ask 'are you sure you love me? are you sure you wanna be with me?' after you get married and move in together and own a house and have two kids with another on the way. he's the hyper anxious 'i'm sorry we disagreed about our favorite colors do you hate me?' friend(affectionate) I wonder though, is he apologizing for seeming like he's testing you because he's using his stigma to see what you've been up to or something. . .? Probably not lol it's more likely he just keeps asking if you like him

Spring: (March-May) (between 5am and 11am)

"There is no time like spring. Everyone seems more relaxed this time of year. It's reassuring to see."

(between 11am and 4pm)

"I have some sakura mochi. I was just about to prepare some tea to go with it—would you like to join me?"

(between 4pm and 8pm)

"They have no control over whether they bloom, and yet they get made a spectacle of nonetheless... Oh, sorry—I was talking about the cherry blossoms."

(between 8pm and 5am)

"There are many different flowers growing in Hotarubi, but I think the wisteria are my favorites. This is the best time to see them, so you should take a walk around."

Summer: (June-August) (between 5am and 11am)

"Hot today, isn't it? It's always raining in Hotarubi, so it does provide a little escape from the blazing summer sun, but... Ha ha. It is very humid, isn't it?"

(between 11am and 4pm)

"Summer makes me think of the ghost story Yotsuya Kaidan. The scene where Oiwa becomes hysterical, having realized her her face has been disfigured— incredible."

Yotsuya Kaidan is one of the best known japanese ghost stories! It's extremely violent, so read the summary at your discretion. The scene in question has Oiwa shown her reflection by her sister's boss to see that the cream she was given by a woman who was in love with her husband was actually some sort of poison that instantly scarred her face. She grabs a sword and goes to kill her, only for her to accidentally slit her own throat.

(between 4pm and 8pm)

"Hotarubi House holds regular festivals during the summer months. If you need a yukata to wear, I'd be happy to pick one out for you."

(between 8pm and 5am)

"I don't mind scary stories, but when that biwa in the tea room started playing by itself, it did make me jump a little..."

slight spoiler, although you can probably figure it out from this but. . .Zenji is a ghost. Subaru currently can't actually see him or hear his voice. . .only Haku, the pc, and, perhaps not so oddly, Towa can afair. All of his youtube content doesn't have him or his voice in it because he can't be recorded by cameras. So Subaru doesn't realize that the biwa playing on its own is actually Zenji playing the biwa.

Autumn: (September-November) (between 5am and 11am)

"The air has gotten crisper, and the leaves are changing color. I know it's only natural for the seasons to shift, so why does it make my heart ache so much?"

(between 11am and 4pm)

"Oh, these? They're some chestnuts I found. I know—I should give them to Sho. I'm sure he'll be able to make something delicious with them."

(between 4pm and 8pm)

"That's another kuchikiri tea ceremony under my belt. It's an annual tradition where one cuts open a tea jar to reveal the tea that was preserved from the first harvest."

(between 8pm and 5am)

"On long autumn nights when the moon is shining beautifully in the sky, it's hard to resist taking a walk outside. Don't stay out until too late though, {PC}."

Winter: (December-February) (between 5am and 11am)

"...Oh, {PC}. Good morning... I had a hard time getting up today. It must be the cold... Ha ha. Not very captain-like, is it?"

Jin, Taiga, and Ed are all prone to not getting out of bed. and Yuri falls asleep on operating tables when he has down time. Trust me Subaru you are perfectly captain-like.

(between 11am and 4pm)

"Today, I'm going to order ingredients from one of my favorite stores so we can all make negima—tuna and scallion—hot pot together. Please, do join us."

(between 4pm and 8pm)

"It's cold out today. I was just thinking about lighting the fire. Would you like to come and warm up with me?"

oh subaru you don't even know how that sounds

(between 8pm and 5am)

"People say winter makes you want to snuggle up with someone, but I find that a good blanket does a much better job."

i agree that blankets are much easier to manage than people lol. probably warmer too.

His birthday: (February 20th)

"A present? For me? Thank you... I didn't expect you to do anything for my birthday, so I'm a little caught off guard. I really appreciate it."

Your birthday:

"Um... Happy birthday.  I really hope this year will be a wonderful one for you."

New Years: (January 1st)

"Happy New Year. I hope I can depend on your guidance and support again this year."

Valentine's Day: (February 14th)

"Chocolate? Oh, It's Valentine's Day, isn't it? Does that mean these are for me...?"

nah i just wanted you to look at them. YES THEY ARE FOR YOU BBY. why would you be showing him chocolate if it wasn't for him! On any day, not just valentine's day!!

White Day: (March 14th)

"These are for you, {PC}. I put in a special order for monaka from my favorite confectioner in Ginza. They're wafers filled with bean jam—I hope you like them."

April Fool's Day: (April 1st)

"Earlier, Haku told me he was switching houses. It gave me a real shock— I'm very relieved that it wasn't true..."

i bet subaru made the most scared kicked puppy face and started apologizing for being such an awful captain and blamed himself for that haku would go to a different house and haku had to quickly explain it was just a prank for fear that subaru might burst into tears.

Halloween: (October 31st)

"Happy Halloween. I know it's nothing special, but I've prepared some treats for the occasion. Oh... But you're more than welcome to play a trick instead."

please don't trick him. april fool's day was hard enough for him.

Christmas: (December 25th)

"Merry Christmas. We already have our New Year decorations up in Hotarubi, so it has a real east-meets-west atmosphere now. I hope everyone is okay with it..."

Idle: (about 20 seconds without interacting with the game) (below 13 affinity)

"Everyone seems busy at the moment. Maybe I should use this opportunity to tidy the garden..."

(13 affinity and above)

"{PC}? Oh... I'm sorry, I didn't mean to disturb you. I was just worried because you were so quiet..."

Absent: (logging in for the first time in 2 or more days?)

"You're back... I'm so relieved. I was worried I'd done something to make you feel uncomfortable..."

this man shakes like a chihuahua 24/7. like you can taste the anxiety coming off of him. i love him. he's so pathetic(affectionate). i wanna squeeze his hand reassuringly and tell him everything's gonna be okay. i wanna hug him and pat his head. i wanna take him places so he learns more about the world outside of working. i wanna watch him do schoolwork excitedly because he's never really gone to school before and it's a new and exciting experience. i want him to experience the most mundane aspects of life with wonder.

good boy. yeah. get him anxiety meds /nodnod

[cosmerelists]

The Favorite Food Show of Each Order of the Knights Radiant

I do love a good food-based show, like the ones on Food Network or the Bon Appetit youtube channel before it imploded. So naturally I wondered which show the various orders of the Knights Radiant would like best. The result...is this.

[Previously we've seen the Knights Radiant play boardgames, go to musicals, have sleepovers, have fandom jobs, and be birds]

1. Stonewards: Cutthroat Kitchen

Cutthroat Kitchen is a show where contestants can bid money to give each other silly disadvantages (involving a LOT of spreaders, for some reason). You get to keep the money you don't spend at the end, if you win.

Honestly, I think the Stonewards would be good at being on this show, not just watching it: they'd naturally just accept every disadvantage thrown at them without ever harming another player, prove to be really good at putting up with any and all "torture," and then win in the end.

It's the Stoneward way.

2. Edgedancers: Diners, Drive-ins and Dives

This is a show about discovering greasy spoon restaurants and giving them attention for their great food. I am not only saying this because of Lift either! I think there's a sense of bringing attention to restaurants that might, uh, otherwise be forgotten or something. Look, it makes sense in my head.

3. Truthwatchers: Reverse Engineering with Chris Morocco

This was (is?) a Youtube channel with Chris Morocco on Bon Appetit. He's blindfolded and present with a dish, which he can smell, taste, touch, but not see. He then has to try to reverse engineer the dish based on his initial investigation. I think the Truthwatchers would dig a show like that, about investigation, trying to figure out the truth...

4. Bondsmiths: Chopped

On Chopped, contestants are given a basket of four ingredients that are...unusual or hard to put together, and then they have to make a coherent meal out of it. Doesn't that sound like something a Bondmight would like? You gotta unite the four ingredients into one coherent whole.

5. Elsecallers: Good Eats

This is a show hosted by Alton Brown, and it's basically a quiet informational show about food, its history, ingredients, which kitchen gadgets you really need, etc. It tries to take a scientific angle toward everything as well. I just think it would suit the intellectual Elsecallers more so than some of the wilder Food Network shows.

6. Skybreakers: Iron Chef

I haven't watched much Iron Chef, but it is a one-on-one battle between a contestant and one of the current Iron Chefs, who are a board of, like, really good chefs. And they have a signature ingredient and each have to make a dish which then gets judged by a panel of judges. Somehow this formal cooking battle feels like something that would appeal to the Skybreakers.

7. Dustbringers: Kitchen Nightmares

Now, this one I've never watched, but I know it's a show where Gordon Ramsay goes and yells at restaurant owners who are really bad at maintaining their restaurants. I get the sense that it's the fun kind of chaotic disaster, especially if you like to see people who are bad at things get called out on it. For all of these reasons, this feels like a show a Dustbringer might enjoy.

8. Willshapers: The Great Food Truck Race

Per the webpage I found about this show, it's all about "adventure" and "new challenges." It's a show about new food truck owners who travel to new towns every week and then try to sell their food and complete various challenges. That sense of freedom and adventure seems like something the Willshapers would be really into.

9. Lightweavers: Cake Wars

I think the Lightweavers would enjoy any of the many shows about elaborate decoration and presentation, so I picked Cake Wars since I think that's what it's about. They'd probably also like those "Is It Cake?" shows as well, to be honest...

10. Windrunners: The Great British Bake-Off

I have no real justification for this. I just want to imagine Kaladin and the rest of Bridge 4 bundled up in blankets, snacking on sweet treats (for the women) or whatever they can scrounge up that is vaguely similar to a sweet treat for the men (fruit?), watching a purely wholesome show where the worst thing that ever happens is somebody messes up their bake (we don't talk about the Baked Alaska incident).

I just think it'd be good for them.

[avaetin]

Percy Jackson Keychain Giveaway - AKM Edition

Hi! As per the title, I am going to giveaway PJO keychains - AKM Edition (which is the AU I created). I'm sharing it now because I want it to reach as many interested parties as possible. I will keep this pinned on my account as well. There will be a total of 15 designs (9 solo and 6 pairs), 5 keychains each, for a total of 75 keychains (total 75 winners). Below is a list of all the characters/pairs:

Nico

Aeon/Chronos

Alabaster

Hazel *

Reyna *

Percy

Jason

Erebus *

Ananke *

Nico & Aeon

Nico & Alabaster

Nico & Hazel *

Nico & Reyna *

Nico & Percy

Nico & Jason

* Remaining designs to be posted in the future, closer to the date.

A special and many thanks to @nyankocatnyan for all the awesome designs so far! Please check them out if you want to commission from them!

Why are you doing a giveaway? I always wanted PJO keychains, but there is a MOQ when you want this stuff made. I have no intention of selling/profiting, hence this giveaway. Also, I suppose, it's just sharing some positivity to everyone else.

How do I qualify? 1) Not a bot, 2) PJO fan, and 3) Tumblr account (for contact). You don't even need to be following me or be my mutual.

How do I enter? You need to fill up one of the forms (either solo chibi form or pair chibi form) that will be made available on August 27, 2024, 11pm SGT. Here is the timing for other zones:

The forms will be active from August 27 - September 3. It will be closed on September 3, 3024 at 11pm SGT. You don't need to rush to fill up the forms. This is NOT "First come, first serve." Please read the forms carefully, and make sure you submit the correct details.

You can only fill up one form (chibi form or pair form). Make sure you fill up the correct one as I will only consider your 1st submission (unless the one you really want has low demand, then I will consider).

4. How will I know if I won? I will post the results here on Tumblr on September 8, 2024, at 11pm SGT and tag said winners. From September 8 - 15, I will be sending the winners a link to a new google form for them to fill up for the delivery details of the keychain they won. (Please make sure I can message your inbox/messages.)

5. What if I won but don't respond to your message? You're essentially giving up your keychain to another person. The above period is fixed. One week is enough time to respond.

6. Do I have to pay for anything? Unless you are opting for fast delivery and/or tracked delivery, then no. I'm covering the shipping costs.

IMPORTANT NOTE: I'm not liable if package is lost if 1) You give wrong address after I confirm it with you. 2) Other reasons outside of my control. If the package gets returned to me, I will attempt to send it a second time. But if it still gets returned a 3rd time, I will give it to someone else.

7. When will it reach me? Kindly refer to the "Ordinary Mail- Air". Please note, however, that this is just an estimate. It will ultimately depend on your country's postal services.

8. I'm iffy about giving out my name and address. How can I trust you? I have to give my name and address for the return address in case the keychain doesn't get delivered. That's my trust to 75 of you. It's up to you if you wish to trust me back. I can only say that I will delete the forms once all the keychains are sent out, since there is no further use for them.

9. Will you have another batch of these keychains in the future? Nope. This is the one and only time. Which is why if you want one, I encourage you to participate.

10. What do you want in return? I want to joke something about firstborn here, but I guess it might not be appropriate LOL! Umm, nothing significant. All I want, and this is optional, is when you do receive, to share with me - or with everyone else via post - that you received the keychain. That's it.

BONUS: I'm pretty sure there was a post about a Luke keychain... 👀

That will be a separate post lol! Maybe around September/October. I'm still working out if I just want Luke and Ethan, or if I want one with Luke, Ethan and Alabaster. Something like that.

-----

Giveaway Timeline:

August 6, 2024: Posting about the giveaway

August 27, 2024: Official post with the google forms for interested individuals to fill up

September 3, 2024: Forms will be closed

September 4-7, 2024: Checking of accounts

September 8, 2024: Eligible participants' account names will be placed on the "Wheel of Names" to get the names of the lucky winners. Results to be posted as well

September 8-15, 2024: Contact winning accounts to confirm delivery details

mid-September - November 2024: Sending out of the keychains*

* Delivery might be split into two parts. It depends on the keychain production and, er, budget.

The forms will have terms & conditions (most already stated here), and hence would answer most questions you will probably have. But, if you have questions you wish to address now, feel free to send an ask. (Please don't spam my messages, thank you.)

P.S. Please be kind to anyone you're interacting with in this post.

[noneorother]

Season 2 is the tales of Crowley Hoffmann, *part 2*

I guess this has to be a series now too. Part 1 l Part 2

I'm doing a series on the (frankly) astounding amount of parallels between the Powell & Pressburger movie The Tales of Hoffmann and S2 of Good Omens. I really recommend part 1 first. 7. Green is evil So if you've wondered to yourself why Hell has changed so much, colour-wise in S2 vs S1, I have come with answers! Here's a fun comparison between the two hells :

Now let's looks at the the evil admin exchange in the Tales off Hoffmann :

(The Tales of Hoffmann, Lindorf takes the contract in The Automaton Ball)

Whenever something evil happens in "The automaton ball" sequence, the light changes to this sickly green. Colour is THE important symbolism in Hoffmann, so now we know green is evil. 8. All the main characters are present and accounted for I've already covered in part 1 how Crowley is Hoffmann, Aziraphale is Stella, and alluded to the fact that Lindorf (main bad guy) is the Metatron. Here's a more comprehensive list of all the characters, because they're all there. N.B. The same actors play multiple roles in The Tales of Hoffmann. Gabriel is Schlemil/Spalanzani/Franz Léonide Massine actually plays 3 characters in the movie : Franz, a housekeeper who sings the only funny song in the opera:

He also plays Spalanzani in Venice : A high ranking double agent who's been crossed by the bad guy Lindorf before, and who is currently hanging around Stella in Venice. He also plays Schlemil in The Automaton Ball, who helped make Stella the automaton and helps put on the ball. He strikes a deal with Lindorf to sell Stella.

Muriel is the assistant Andreas

Andreas doesn't have much of a role in the story, they are mostly worry free and eager to please. They are there to be bribed by Lindorf to give him the key to Stella's dressing room, and the note for Hoffmann. I say they because even though this role is played by a man, this getup is EXTREMELY ambiguous for 1950s England.

Now look at the last scene of both the movie and S2 of good omens.

Shax is Nicklaus

In both casting and character, Shax is obviously Nicklaus. The all red outfit is a dead giveaway, but even the haircut in hell is similar. Nicklaus is Hoffmann's buddy, but they don't actually move the story forward or help him much. The fact that they're everywhere in the story but not really DOING much except casting doubt is pretty telling.

Beelzebub is the muse

Now we get into characters where's it's kind of important know know both the opera and the movie. The only character we seem to be missing in the movie version is Beez, but don't worry, I've got another male character now usually played by a woman dressed in Charlie Chaplin drag and their name is "The Muse". Basically, the muse in the opera is there to make sure Hoffmann does his job (being a poet) and isn't interested in the girl anymore (Stella).

Jacques Offenbach: The Tales of Hoffmann, The Muse & Lindorf, S2E6 Beelzebub

The Metatron is Lindorf

Lindorf is a major bad guy in both, but movie Lindorf has had all of his lines removed at the beginning, so he's the bad guy in the sense that he's doing all these bad things, and is the antagonist in every minisode and in real life. But we never really find out why. His evil genius speech is cut out of the movie, but is very much there in the opera. He's a shapeshifter, and takes on the form of 4 characters in the movie, all of whom hurt Hoffmann by ultimately taking Stella away from him.

Here's Lindorf spying on Hoffmann in the prologue. And the reveal at the end when he comes to take Stella to "the temple of the gods"...

Here are his other three forms in the minisodes. By the way his name in the last one, I shit you not, is DR.MIRACLE. In each minisode he plays a pivotal role in removing Stella from Hoffmann, first by legal contract, second by convincing Stella to double-cross him for a shiny reward, and third by trapping Stella in a time loop and then straight up killing her and sending her to heaven (she gets resurrected no worries).

So my question for now is : Does the plot of season 2 ALSO follow the movie?

_____________________________________

Obviously, there's always more. Next post it's analysis time baby....

[serasfanfiction]

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3| Part 4 | Part 5| Part 6 | Part 7 | Part 8 | Part 9 | Part 10 | Part 11 | Part 12

CW: For Valentino being Valentino. He doesn't do anything, but he does say some things.

oOo

The closer they came to V Tower, the more loud everything became.

Paper posters gave way to bulletin boards. Every street was lit with flashing signs and arrows, pointing the way to different businesses down the main strip. Advertisements were nearly plastered on every single available surface, competing with each other in a cacophony of bright colors and promises to make all of one's troubles go away, if only one bought the product.

Sinners wandered the streets, some glued to their phones as they typed out a text message, watched a video, or shouted at someone on the other end of a phone call. Some sinners loitered around various shops selling televisions, each screen showing an advertisement for the latest gadget VoxTek was selling.

The Vees made it ridiculously easy to learn their faces, as none of the trio were shy about plastering their likeness all over their wares. Vox was clearly unafraid to throw his reputation behind anything he supported, one advertisement proclaiming, "I'd buy it." Valentino left nothing to the imagination - figurative or literally - on what he was selling, with various larger than life posters that featured the moth scantily clad and in suggestive poses. Velvette was significantly more reserved, in comparison, with only a billboard advertising her perfume, named, Love Potion.

Quite frankly speaking, it was all a bit overstimulating.

Walking nonchalantly at his side, Alastor barely gave any of bombastic sights around him a second glance. He had made little commentary since they had set out from the hotel earlier in the day, falling silent as they had entered the Vees territory. Where all of this technology was practically invented yesterday, as far as Lucifer was concerned, Alastor had lived on Earth when most of the technology around them was still in its infancy stages. Advertising, likewise, was hardly new. Humans had been shouting at each other to buy this or to buy that since they'd first come up with the idea of selling a product. They may not have had flashing lights in the 1920s or 30s, but there had been posters, billboards, and radio ads.

Modern technology just made everything more... flashy.

Lucifer watched a group of sinners standing before an electronic shop, TVs stacked up in the window. Each TV was showing the same thing: an advertisement for the latest cell phone. He was a little surprised he still cared enough to be sickened as Vox straight up hypnotized the viewers into buying the phone. He shook his head in disgust a they passed group turned mob making a mad dash into the store. "Quite the salesman, Vox is," Lucifer commented, not trying to hide his judgmental tone.

Alastor snorted. He glanced at the group scampering out with their new cell phones as he drawled, "Vox has always had a... persuasive sales pitch."

It was Lucifer's turn to snort as they passed another poster of Vox, this time just the overlord and his VoxTech logo. His ever present slogan, Trust Us, curved around the logo. "You mean he hypnotizes people into doing what he wants." It was good to know in advance. No one had ever tried to hypnotize the Devil himself before and he wasn't keen to find out if it was possible.

"Hm," Alastor hummed in agreement. "Just so."

V Tower was easy to spot, even with all the noise going on in the background. The number of surveillance cameras also began to increase the closer they got to the trio's headquarters. Lucifer eyed one as it followed their trek down the street. "So much for keeping our arrival a surprise."

The redhead smirked, obviously pleased about something. Sing song, he assured, "I wouldn't be too sure about that."

The blonde sighed. He was walking right into it, he knew he was. He was going to do it anyway, because damn his curiosity. "Oh?"

Alastor twirled his staff around his fingers like a baton. "All the cameras we've passed so far have been laughably easy to take out." With a practiced hand, he caught the staff, it's tip pointing at the offending camera. As they passed it, the little button on the side of it blinked from green to red. "Vox isn't paying attention to his little toys. Dear me, he must be away from his surveillance room."

Lucifer squinted at the camera dubiously. "You can tell we're not being watched, by, what? The camera not coming back on?"

Alastor laughed, short and cutting. "Oh, it's more than lack of interaction." He leaned in close, as if he were parting with a juicy secret. "I can tell when Vox is watching." His smile was sharp and cruel and said everything about how pathetic he found the overlord in question. "His attention has a certain... desperation to it."

Lucifer wasn't certain which part of all of that to focus on first: the fact that apparently Vox had flat out stalked Alastor to the point Alastor knew when he was being watched or the fact that Alastor clearly found the whole thing hilarious.

Father, these sinner could be fucked up sometimes.

Lucifer grinned, unable to pass up the opportunity he'd just been handed to needle the deer demon. "Didn't do much about the camera that recorded the fight."

Alastor's expression soured around the edges. His ears flattened as he resumed his previous position, snide as he pointed out, "Yes, well, I was a bit distracted by doing all the work. You should try joining in next time."

Alastor hadn't let him get involved in any of the attacks, insistent that he had everything covered, and they both knew it. Lucifer had let him because he always half hoped someone would kill the asshole.

Lucifer let the conversation drop with little more than a roll of his eyes, his mind drifting as he processed this new information. If Alastor could indeed tell when Vox was watching (which, creepy) and had been surprised by one of the attacks being filmed, one could infer that Vox was keeping the hotel under a certain level of constant surveillance.

After returning from their day out, he had hauled himself up in his room as he scoured the news for mention of any attacks. Had tracked down the news reports Rosie had mentioned. There had only been a number written reports and many more reposted written reports, with a single video dedicated to the subject. The video itself contained footage from the first attack, despite the news articles having all been posted fairly recently. Judging from the general comments under the articles and the video, few people were interested in the hotel itself beyond wanting to know if it still stood or not.

They had been lucky the fight had forced the drone to retreat or risk being destroyed. Distance had rendered the video quality poor enough his bleeding hand wasn't visible for all of Hell to see. Everyone already knew angels could be harmed, killed even. It wouldn't do for anyone to get it into their pretty little heads that angel weapons might work on him or Charlie, however.

(Lucifer tried not to think about the main image he had seen, again and again, in those news articles. Tried not to think about how reverent Alastor had looked like as he reached his hand out to the Devil, as if he were the only God the sinner would ever be able to touch. The framing of the image had made it appear like it was something so different than it had really been.)

Light pressure on his shoulder drew him out of his thoughts. Out of the corner of his view, he caught Alastor withdrawing the hand he'd used to get his attention. It was a good thing he had, as it took a second for the sensor above the door to register their presence and trigger the door to open. He could only imagine what the media would have thought if a camera had caught Lucifer running right into the front doors of V Tower while lost in thought.

They stepped through the doors into a lobby themed in oranges and reds with purple accents. Hearts were definitely a motif, accenting arches and their support columns. Purple lanterns dotted every other column, more decoration than function. Lucifer took in the additional advertisements, some on the walls, some on a-frames. A large, flat screen tv displayed the VoxTek logo, but there was nothing currently playing on it.

There were a number of employees dotted around the lobby. A sheep sinner carrying a precarious stack of tablets raced off in one direction, while a horned rabbit sinner ran in another direction with an armful of clothing. A trio of sinners loitered off to the side, whispering back in forth in a frantic, hushed argument about what sounded like bottom lines and stocks. Near the back of the lobby, a blue and yellow sinner shouted about "messy actors" and "shitty wardrobes" as he frantically slammed his finger into the up button of the elevator.

At the center of the lobby, themed similar to the surrounding columns, was a welcome desk, currently being run by a white haired, fuchsia skinned sinner. Her tiny bat wings fluttered and drooped as she fielded calls. Distracted as she was, she failed to notice anyone had entered the lobby until Alastor and Lucifer had already reached the desk.

"One moment, please," she said to them, showing that she had at least noticed they were there. "Now where did Velvette say she wanted her calls sent to today...?" She bit her lip, finger hovering over one of a quite frankly insane number of optional extensions. Her eyes darted back and forth between two of them, before she shrugged and for all intents and purposes flat out guessed which one to send the line to. "Thank you for waiting," she said in a practiced, albeit polite monotone. "How may I... help..." She trailed off as she finally laid eyes on who had walked into the lobby, eyes going wide. She gaped as she recognized Lucifer but went completely blank as she took in Alastor's presence. The blonde was fairly certain that if he could read minds there wouldn't have been a single thought going through her head at that moment.

Lucifer fixed an equally practiced polite smile on his face. "Excuse me, miss," he began, only to pause when she failed to regain her senses, apparently still too flabbergasted by his companion. Brow twitching, he rapped his knuckles sharply upon the marble surface of the desk.

The noise seemed to do the trick, the sinner snapping out of her trance to jerk her head around. "Yes! Um." She swallowed, casting one last nervous glance at the Radio Demon. Between looking at Alastor and looking back at Lucifer, he could see her clawing her professional mask back on with the kind of experience that came from needing to remain calm when one's life was on the line. "How may I help you, sirs?" Her voice didn't even shake a little.

Noting the reaction and shelving the topic for later, Lucifer said, "Please let Vox know we are here to speak with him."

The sinner blinked, disbelief clear as day on her face despite her best efforts not to show it. "You..." Lucifer had the distinct impression the 'you' here was Alastor, even if she wasn't looking directly at him. "Wish to speak with... Vox?" Her tone suggested that had she not been speaking with Lucifer Morningstar, the literal king of Hell, she might have asked him if he was smoking something.

The noise, or lack there of, reached his ears. The general hustle and bustle of when they had entered had completely died down to be replaced by whispers and murmurs. Even without turning, he could feel all eyes on them. Lucifer glanced at Alastor, whose Cheshire Cat grin suggested he was internally laughing at all the fuss his being here was causing. His ears flicked to and fro as he followed different conversations.

Smile fixed in place, he affirmed, "Yup!" He waggled his fingers in the direction of her phone. "Now, please."

The receptionist stared off into the middle distance, the same blank look in her eyes he'd seen on soldier's who'd died at war. In the fatalistic tone of someone who didn't expect to have a job (or possibly be alive) in the morning, she said, "Whelp, this job sucked anyway."

Someone, a little too loudly, stage whispered, "Oh, I would not want to be in her shoes, right now."

Without turning, the receptionist flipped the person off with one hand while picking up the phone with the other. She pressed a seemingly random button as she put the receiver to her ear, a down right manic smile crossed her face.

Lucifer (and likely everyone in the lobby, as well) could tell the instant the phone was answered on the other end. A voice that matched the one's he'd heard in the advertisements bellowed, "WHAT DID I TELL YOU ABOUT INTERUPTING MY MEETINGS?"

Taking advantage of the fact that it sounded like Vox was a sinner who needed to breathe on occasion, the woman said, voice picture perfect cheerful, "The King of Hell and the Radio Demon are here to see you, sir."

A very long, audible pause, both on the phone and from the lobby around them. Then, "WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU MEAN ALASTOR'S HERE??"

Lucifer raised an eyebrow at the redhead, incredulous. Seriously? What kind of history did these two have that Alastor showing up at V Tower was causing this kind of fuss? It was almost enough to make him forget he had been totally overlooked in that last statement.

Around them, every camera in the lobby suddenly came to life, zeroing in on them. Lucifer could tell by their synchronous motion, someone was likely watching them. Alastor's whole posture changed as he turned on one of the cameras, head tilted just so and smile lazy as he waved at it.

As one, those very same cameras began to sizzle and pop as they were all taken out.

Lucifer noted the redhead looked far too pleased with himself for that to have been anything other than deliberate. He knew Alastor hated being recorded, but that was just petty. Turning his attention to the receptionist, it was only because of his heightened sense of hearing that he was able to hear Vox, voice considerably more in control and at a much more reasonable volume, telling her to send them down.

"At once, sir." She set the phone down at leisure, as if she hadn't just had her eardrums tested by her boss shouting in them. Still looking at something only she could see, she said, "Vox will see you now." She pointed behind her to a set of elevators. "Please use the elevator on the right, as this is the only elevator with access to Vox's personal office." Placing her hands on the desk in a deceptively casual way, she finished, "Please have a hellish rest of your day."

"You, too," Lucifer said on reflex. He watched her as they made their way around the desk, throwing glances over his shoulder after they'd passed it. Under his breath, he asked of Alastor, "Think the hotel needs a receptionist?"

They had a front desk, didn't they? And a land line? Maybe? There was no mail service in Hell and Alastor had to get communications somehow, seeing as he refused to touch anything more modern than a radio. He'd check on it when he got back.

"Ha!" Alastor side eyed him. "Come now, your Majesty, you don't want poor Husker to be out of a job, do you?"

Lucifer belatedly remembered that apparently Husk doubled as not just their bartender, but also as their receptionist. He guffawed. One the one hand, Husk was indeed an great bartender, even willing to be a patient ear for one's troubles, if he tolerated them. He was certainly an exceptional judge of someone's character. On the other, was he a good receptionist? No offense meant to the avian feline in question, but, not in the slightest.

Lucifer added the mental note to check in on the receptionist later to his growing list of things to do.

The elevator opened without them pressing any buttons, suggesting that Vox, the creep, had other ways of keeping tabs on them. Lucifer and Alastor stepped in, the former not thrilled with how tiny the elevator was. There was just enough room for the both of them to stand side by side with little to spare. Insult to injury, the most obnoxious elevator music he had ever had the displeasure to have inflicted on him played over head. There were no buttons to chose from, but there seemed to be none needed as the elevator began its decent on it's own.

Lucifer reiterated: what a creep.

More to fill the silence and distract himself from the growing need to destroy the speaker putting out that horrible noise, he asked, "You ever been here before?"

In the same way most people would say, 'I'd rather die, thanks,' Alastor scoffed. "Absolutely not! I'd never inflict such poor company on myself willingly." Still, it wasn't hard to notice the little ways Alastor was on high alert, very much aware of the fact that he had walked willingly into enemy territory. His ego didn't allow him to worry, but it still paid to be alert to potential surprises.

Thankfully, the elevator didn't take long before reaching its destination. This new room was vast, with a color scheme nothing like the lobby's. Where the lobby was warm shades of orange, red and purple, this room was all cool shades of blue, red, white. The room was dark, only illuminates by dozens upon dozens of screens, most glowing with white light, a handful with red light. Red light filtered up from what appeared to be a deep pit surrounding a bridge-like walkway. Attached at the end was a round platform and attached to the platform was a seat surrounded by even more monitors.

This wasn't an office. This was a surveillance room.

Walking down the walkway was none other than the founder of VoxTek, Vox himself, striding along with all the confidence of someone who was at the top of their industry and knew it. His smile was wide and Lucifer immediately pegged it as the fake kind he usually saw on car salesmen. "Your Highness! Welcome!" Vox greeted. When he was close enough, he offered his hand out for a handshake.

Lucifer eyed it, just long enough to make it look like he wasn't going to take it. He didn't expect anyone to actually bow to him in greeting, but something about this guy left him half tempted to push for it now. Taking the hand, he allowed Vox to shake it to be polite.

When it came time to greet Alastor, the TV demon merely gritted his teeth and said, voice dripping with venom, "Alastor."

Alastor didn't appear bothered in the least by the rude greeting. Matching vitriol with amusement, he merely said, "Vox."

Lucifer looked from Vox, to Alastor, and then back to Vox. Man, he was so sorry he hadn't asked for more details on these two before they'd gotten here. Predicting this could go on a while if they were left to their own devises, Lucifer pointedly cleared his throat.

Vox's smile smoothed out, salesman mask back on place. "Yes, of course. Now, your highness," the sinner held out his hand towards the bridge, indicating he'd like them to come into his "office" proper. Lucifer didn't fail to notice there was only one seat down that way and it was meant for Vox. "May I call you Lucifer? Lucifer--"

Oh, absolutely not. They were going to have to nip that in the bud. Even Alastor, who had somehow become his rival for his place in his daughter's life and literally lived down the hall from him, was smart enough not to call him by name.

"The word you're looking for is 'Majesty'."

Vox paused, body tensing. The fallen angel got the impression he wasn't used to being interrupted. "Excuse me?"

Lucifer effected a bored stance, one hand settled on his cane as he explained, deliberately just this side of hostile, "Your Highness is how you would address my daughter." He looked Vox dead in the eye, making it pointedly clear he was deadly serious and there was going to be none of this BS about who was calling the shots. "Your Majesty is how you address your king."

Vox interestingly grew more calm in the face of his king's ire. "Of course, your Majesty," he said, immediately correcting course. He offered they move the conversation to the platform again. This time, Lucifer nodded. He followed as Vox lead the way, noting how the TV demon never quite turned his back on them, seemingly uneasy having Alastor at his back, even this deep into what was his own territory.

Lucifer took the time spent crossing the bridge to exam the pit around them. While the red light obscured the bottom itself, he was able to make out what appeared to be a very large tank behind equally large glass walls. Swimming around without a care in the world were what appeared to be several glowing sharks. He followed one as it made its way from one side of the pit to the other, able to sense there was nothing natural in their design. These creatures may have appeared to be alive, but they were all circuits and wires, through and through.

When they reached the platform, Vox showed sense by not going for his chair. He did stop in the center of the circle, a subtle attempt to regain some control of the situation. "Now, your Majesty," he began, just sincere enough it was impossible to tell if it was fake or not. "Please, tell me how I and VoxTek can be of assistance today."

Lucifer watched him. Watched the way his face was turned to Lucifer, but his eyes kept ticking to Alastor. Noted the way his body was tilted ever so slightly in the redhead's direction, as if drawn by a magnet he couldn't resist. Vox may have been putting on a show of talking to Lucifer, but he very much only had eyes for Alastor.

Someone was obsessed.

Someone was obsessed really badly.

Something that felt suspiciously like possessiveness reared its head deep within his chest. Lucifer had no more of a claim on Alastor than Vox did, but Alastor had chosen to live under his roof and was his daughter's hotelier. Finicky to the last, with all the loyalty of a feral, stray cat, Alastor was theirs.

Smile all teeth, eyes gold on red, Lucifer raised his free hand until they were right under where Vox's nose would be if he had one. He snapped his fingers, once, twice, sharply.

Vox nearly went cross-eyed, as he zeroed in on the offending digits, leaning slightly back.

"I know Alastor is very eye catching," Lucifer drawled, voice deepening as he let his displeasure seep in. "But you are talking to me. Do you understand?"

The TV demon had the grace to raise his hands, not necessarily in surrender, but certainly in a pacifying manner. It was easy to see him cycling through possible responses, as he fished for the one that would deescalate the situation the fastest. "I apologize, you Majesty, for any offense," he settled on, tone so polite it reeked of falseness.

Lucifer let him have it because it seemed Vox was finally cottoning on to the fact that there was a larger predator in the room then either of the two sinners. The reluctant king withdrew a step, pleased when Vox's eyes followed him, with not a single glance at Alastor. Now that he had the CEO's full attention, he decided it was time to get this show on the road. "I have a message for everyone in the Pride Ring. I've noticed how many people have a TV or a cellphone. I've also noticed VoxTek's reach." Lucifer said this last part only because it was true. However they had managed it, VoxTek has even managed to make it's way into the other rings.

For the first time since they'd arrived, Vox's smile actually appeared real. It put into stark light how fake the one he had been wearing up until this moment had been. "We would be thrilled to feature you on one of our television shows, your Majesty." He was smart enough not to look at Alastor, although it was obvious the next part was directed towards him. "Our viewership ratings have been going through the roof over the last few years. Statistics show that almost every household in the Pentagram City has a TV these days."

It was a good sales pitch. It might even have been true. The hotel had even had a TV, although Lucifer had explicitly forbidden anyone from bringing one into the palace, the exception being the live-in servants' personal quarters. Regardless, Vox hadn't said that to try and sale anyone on anything, he'd said it to rub it in Alastor's face that Lucifer had chosen to pass his message along over Vox's medium, instead of Alastor's.

Although they hadn't discussed it ahead of time, Lucifer found himself saying, in all the casualness of it having been a given, "If Alastor wishes to broadcast the message simultaneously over radio for our viewers who prefer the medium, he's more than welcome to do so, but we're not here to discuss that." He was fairly certain, even without turning around, that Alastor hadn't given it away that this was news to him.

The idea was reinforced by the way that Vox's eye twitched before he could regain control over it. "Yes, of course we want it to reach all of the intended audiences." Hands coming to rest at the small of his back, the TV demon attempted to steer them back on course. "Now, about the content of the message."

Lucifer tilted his head to the side. "Does it matter what the content is? Unless you prefer I go somewhere else to do this." Something that was also true. Mammon may lack any talent of his own, but he knew a cash grab when he saw one. He jumped onto the bandwagon that was television sets, TV shows, and moving advertisements as soon as the technology had hit Hell. The only reason none of his products where seen in the Pride Ring was because Lucifer limited his exposure to sinners were ever he could. If he gave him the green light, Mammon would topple VoxTek within a matter of months, if not less.

Vox paused, sensing he was in troubled waters, but not quite sure from which direction. "No, no. We here at VoxTek simply prefer to make sure that all the content we put out is content we stand by--"

Lucifer leaned in. If his tail were out, it would have been thrashing. "Are you saying your king could say anything VoxTek wouldn't support?"

Vox's screen left eye widened ever so slightly, the sclera going from a solid red, to more hypnotic red and black. It was there and gone in the blink of his eyes. His voice sounded glitchy as he gritted out a, "No."

"May I suggest something, your Majesty?"

Lucifer broke off what was quickly becoming a staring match with Vox to turn his attention to Alastor. The redheaded sinner had been standing behind him, seemingly content to watch the drama unfold from the side as Lucifer took the lead. Considering their rivalry, Lucifer was a little hesitant to allow Alastor to enter the fray, lest he potentially make things worse. However, he did appreciate the fact that these two knew each other better than he knew either of them.

Giving away the floor, at least for now, Lucifer gave a single short nod, for him to proceed.

Alastor stepped up until they were side by side.

Unable to resist now that the redhead had center stage, Vox immediately shifted to face him, Lucifer all but forgotten. He frowned, almost all pretenses of being a businessman all but thrown out the window. "What are you doing here, Alastor?" He snipped at the redhead. "I know you'll take any opportunity to move up in Hell, but I didn't take you as a kiss ass."

Alastor smiled at him, as if he were a short sighted child. "We hadn't gotten to that part, have we?" He gave his staff a little spin, noting the way Vox's eyes narrowed as he took in it's repaired state. "His Majesty asked me to stand with him as he gave his address."

Vox snorted, doubtful. "You'd never agree to appearing on screen." He actually started to laugh at the idea, until he realized Alastor was completely serious. "Wait, you said yes?" Gaping, he turned on Lucifer, seeming in his shock to forget who he was talking to. "What the hell did you do to get him to agree to show up on TV?" He glared back and forth between then, baring his teeth as he asked, "What, are you two fucking or something?"

Lucifer narrowed his eyes, lip curling back. In one fell swoop, Vox had just reduced himself to less than scum on the bottom of his boots. The only reason they were continuing this conversation was because he didn't feel like dragging Valentino down to the Greed Ring. "Maybe you just don't know how to speak his language," he snipped back, mouth moving before he could think about what he was saying or how much it gave away.

Before Vox could think too deeply on it, the redhead cleared his throat. For all that he preferred to be an unseen voice on the radio, Alastor did how to play his audience in person. "Let me sweeten the deal," he said, his hand running down the pole of his staff, eyeing the TV demon as he did so. "If you agree to broadcast our King's message, I'll do that one little thing you wanted me to do when you asked me to join you." He pointed the microphone end at Vox, the tip perilously close to his screen. "From when you agree to the end of the broadcast."

Vox stared at the microphone. Slowly, he raised his eyes until he met Alastor's. Something that looked suspiciously like sadness peaked through his anger, although Lucifer was certain they weren't supposed to see it. "You'd really do that. For him?"

Alastor withdrew his staff, tucking it under his arm. With his free hand, he reached out until a single claw rested under Lucifer's chin. Encouraging him to look up at him, Lucifer let Alastor tilt his head up and around to meet that fond expression on the redhead's face. "As his Majesty said, he knows how to speak my language."

Vox's eyes widened, a dawning expression coming over him. Real horror followed shortly behind it. "Holy shit," he whispered, staggering back. Lucifer tore his gaze away from Alastor's just in time to see him drop into his chair as if his strings had been cut. Dragging a hand down his face, Vox said with absolute certainty, "You actually made a Faustian Bargain."

He said it like this was his worst nightmare came to life.

Beside him, Alastor practically radiated smug triumph. It was all the affirmation he needed to give.

All of the fight hadn't been been cut from Vox just yet. Unhappy as he was with this set back, Vox was already trying to figure out how spin this in his favor. An elbow resting on each arm of his chair, the knuckles of his joined hands pressed to his lips, he countered, "Alright, Alastor does his thing and I'll broadcast whatever you want." His grin took up most of his screen, all pretenses of friendliness dropped. "Give me an hour to prepare the studio for you."

Before Vox could run off, Lucifer placed one last little condition on him. "Vox. Make sure the other Vees are in attendance." At the TV demon's questioning tilt of his head, the blonde merely said, "I wouldn't want anyone to miss my message."

Whatever Vox thought of this was hidden behind his joined hands. Instead of bothering with any of the usual ways out of the room, Vox transformed into a bolt of electricity, disappearing into one of the monitors.

Silence descended over the room. Then, "You two have history."

Alastor snorted. "You know how to use your eyes, your Majesty. I'm impressed."

Lucifer ignored the sarcasm and the insult in favor of observing his companion. The redhead's brows were furrowed with concentration, eyes closed and the very air around him warped to a noticeable degree. To Lucifer, a creature who had existed before physical matter, picking up on the way Alastor was enhancing certain electromagnetic waves around him was child's play. Hoping to kill two birds with one stone - learning more about their shared history while figuring out what the sinner was doing - the little king gave into his curiosity and asked, "What did Vox want you to do?"

Alastor didn't answer for a moment, whatever he was doing taking quite a bit of his concentration. Lucifer patiently waited him out. Several minutes ticked by with nothing by the hum of the monitors and the swimming of the sharks to keep him occupied. Cracking open a single eye a slit, Alastor reached a point in whatever he was doing where he could split his attention. Lucifer noted the pupil of the visible eye was a dial.

"Do you know how the technology in that silly little device in your pocket works?" Alastor asked by way of response.

The only things Lucifer tended to carry on his person were his cane, which was in his hand, and his cellphone, in case Charlie tried to call him (rare that it was). His cellphone, which was indeed in his pocket. Fishing it out, he eyed it. He knew it worked. He knew how to work it. Did he really need to know more? Besides, it wasn't one of VoxTek's cellphones, which made him less wary of it. Confused as to where this was going, he said, "It works, isn't that all that matters?"

"Such a pedestrian response." Alastor hummed, his microphone coming over to point at the little device. "You device works because it's able to transmit data via radio waves." He used his staff to gesture to the room around them, his eye falling shut now that he no longer needed to see to engage in the conversation. "Vox's specialty is electricity. He can interact with anything that uses it."

Lucifer remembered the way the TV demon had disappeared into his monitor, a chill running down his spine as he imagined what all else he could likely interact with.

"Radio waves, on the other hand, are my specialty," Alastor continued. This fit with what Lucifer had observed both in the current moment and back at the radio tower. "Usually I simply use them to connect myself to any radio in Pentagram City, but I can also enhance them." His edges of his smile tightened. There was no strain in his posture, but Lucifer was suspicious they might see hints of it if this carried on too long. "When Vox wanted to introduce wireless technology to Hell, he suggested that we team up. He would create the technology and the demand, and I would enhance his reach." His expression sharpened into a sneer. "I had no interest in being a mere tool in elevating him to the top."

Judging from the short interaction he'd observed, Lucifer was suspicious Vox had wanted much more than just to use Alastor as a tool. Vox had done little to hide the depth of his anger and hatred, and no one reached that level of emotion without having swung in the opposite direction first. Lucifer wondered if Alastor had really turned Vox down because of his own lust for power or if Alastor had seen the way Vox had looked at him and hadn't been interested.

Since that question was more likely to shut down the conversation then receive an answer, resigned himself to never knowing. Either way, he supposed he should be happy that Alastor had turned Vox down. Lucifer didn't want to think about what they could have accomplished if they had somehow found a way to work together.

Instead, he went with, "So, you can interact with anything that receives radio waves, then. Not just radios?"

In response, his cell phone dinged. The screen lit up to the lock screen, showing he had a new text message. Though it should be improbable, there was nothing in the place of a sender's name. Lucifer silently frowned at it, suspicious of who was the sender, but unwilling to open anything he didn't know who it came from.

As if sensing his distrust, Alastor crooned, "Go on. I promise it's not spam."

Lucifer was still wary, but he unlocked his phone. If this was malicious ware, Alastor was getting him a new phone.

The text message was indeed not spam. When he opened it up, there were simply two words:

You suck!

Lucifer glared at the message. "So, what? How would this help Vox?"

Alastor wagged a finger at him. "I'm currently high jacking every TV and cellphone with it's WIFI turned on. 666 News has never been more popular than it is right now." He paused, as if searching for something. "I excluded most of the phones in the hotel, but I do have Angel's."

Lucifer whistled, giving credit where it was due. That was honestly incredible. Terrifying in it's reach, holy shit, but incredible. A thought crossed his mind, an unholy grin slowly spreading across his face as he wondered, "Wait, if I reply to this, will the message go straight to you?"

"Ha!" Alastor shook his head, using his microphone to bop the top of Lucifer's hat. An impressive feat, considering his eyes were still closed. "Sorry, but I'm merely a transmitter and an amplifier. My abilities don't work that way."

Lucifer straightened his hat, half tempted to try anyway, just to see if it were true. Perhaps he would another time.

He was interrupted from any further questions by one of the monitors coming to life over Vox's chair. A moment later, the sinner himself reentered the same way he had left. Vox settled back in his chair, legs crossed and significantly more calm than when he left. "The studio will be ready for you in half an hour." He glanced once at Alastor, who had opened his eyes upon the TV demon's return, before returning back to Lucifer. "Let's relocate there now, shall we?"

Lucifer nodded. Instead of leading them towards the elevator they'd come down in, Vox merely joined them in the center of the platform. It became apparent why when the very middle suddenly began to rise, revealing there was yet more ways in and out of the surveillance room. Once they were back in the lobby, he led them over to elevator on the left, only sticking with them long enough to press the button of the floor with the studio, before pulling back out of it. "I'll meet you up there."

The door closed, once again leaving just the two of them and that horrible elevator music.

Lucifer glanced at Alastor. He still looked fine, but he was definitely putting out a lot of power. Feeling concerned (Alastor had agreed to do this for him) and wary of insulting him, he asked, checking in, "You doing okay, still?"

Alastor's ear twitched, the widening of smile showing he wasn't insulted, but rather amused. "Oh, don't worry your little head, I'll be just fine, your Majesty." Eyes aglow with more than just the power it took to carry out his promise, he added, "But I expect a reward when we return to the Hotel."

Lucifer felt a jolt run up his spine. The chain around his neck didn't manifest, but he could feel it tightening ever so. Alastor was invoking their deal, officially giving him his 12 hour notice. He supposed he shouldn't be surprised, as Alastor had yet to actually invoke the deal since making it with him. Tilting his head so his hat hid his expression from both Alastor and the camera's gaze, Lucifer grumbled, "Should have known you'd do nothing for free."

The doors to the elevator opened, illuminating the redhead's sinister grin. A few sinners had paused to catch a glimpse of them as the doors opened, only to pale at the expression on Alastor's face. They quickly scurried off to carry out their tasks. Lucifer stepped through the doors, taking in the chaos in front of him. Numerous demons were running around, similar to the frantic energy he'd seen in the lobby, everyone getting the studio ready. A stack of papers and angry shouting from a blonde woman in a red dress (what was her name? It started with a K) suggested that something else had been planned for this hour, but had been cancelled due to Lucifer's abrupt interruption.

Lucifer might have felt bad, if it weren't for the fact that he knew without a shadow of a doubt this particular reporter was likely going to find some way to verbally eviscerate him later. He may not have remembered her name, but he did remember her particular brand of cutthroat journalism and the outright nasty things she had said about his daughter in the past. And her casual abuse of her co-reporter.

As if sensing she was being watched, the reporter turned her head a full 180 degrees, her smile down right unhinged and full of promises.

Not for the first time since landing in Hell, Lucifer almost wished he was still capable of creating Holy Water. There were some situations one just needed a spray bottle full of the hard core stuff for.

"Your Majesty," Vox pipped up, appearing from seemingly nowhere. The only reason Lucifer didn't jump was because he was still caught in a glaring match with a literal reporter from Hell. "This way, please."

Lucifer carried on glaring at her, right up until he physically couldn't. "I don't care who you've got sitting with me, I don't want her anywhere near me."

Vox followed his gaze, snorting when he saw who he'd been making a stink eye at. "Oh, no worries." He turned his own glare on Alastor. "I'll be copiloting right along with you."

Lucifer took in the two chairs. If he was sitting in one and Vox in the other, Alastor was going to be left standing. Judging from the gleam in the TV demon's eye, this was on purpose. Vox pulled out the seat on the right, the malicious reporter's coworker's usual seat, a smile so fake one would have to be blind to think it sincere spread across his screen. "Just a few more finishing touches, and then we'll be ready to begin." He turned on his heel and disappeared back into the bowels of the studio.

Lucifer blinked down at the seat. He could already feel the sheer number of eyes from the people in the studio, watching and waiting to see what he was going to do next. This was the first time almost every single one of them had ever seen him in person. He already hated everything about this. It was more than enough to make him want to retreat back to his room at the hotel and not come out for the rest of the month.

A gentle brush, an almost tickle, against the back of his neck, the feeling almost shockingly intimate, startled him. He inhaled sharply, not having noticed that he had stopped breathing. Instinctively, he turned his back on the growing crowd, his hand coming up to half way, before he aborted the motion. Turning to face him, Lucifer noted that Alastor appeared to have not done anything, standing in that default pose he favored. The only reason Lucifer could tell it had been him that touched him was from the way the redhead was watching him.

"Smile, your Majesty," Alastor murmured, voice pitched low and soothing. "The hardest part is almost over. I'll be with you the whole time."

How out of sorts had he been that even the Radio Demon was taking pity on him? That the reassurance was a comfort?

Lucifer breathed in slowly through his nose, breathing out even slower through his mouth. His racing heart began to calm, as he reminded himself that he had taken on far more terrifying beings than a room full of nosey sinners. This was all for Charlie and the safety of her dream, and for that, he could handle anything.

He dropped into the offered chair, the anticipation of a battle falling over his shoulders like a weathered cape.

A door opened off to the side, one that he hadn't seen anyone coming and going through. Stepping through were none other than Valentino and Velvette themselves. Velvette was typing away on her phone, muttering about an interruption to her photo shoot.

Valentino paused as he caught sight of Lucifer and Alastor. "Oh! If it isn't papito, himself!" The grin spreading across his face and choice of wording caused the blonde's skin to crawl. Sauntering over, Valentino nearly draped himself over desk, bringing his and Lucifer's faces far too close together. "You wouldn't want to hang around after this little show for some one on one time, now would you, mi pequeño rey?"

Lucifer had barely managed to do more than lean back in his chair, trying to escape the heavy stench of smoke and hard drugs that hung around the Overlord like a second skin, when a weigh settled heavily on his shoulder. He glanced up, finding that Alastor had stepped up beside him, hand placed in such a way that it wrapped possessively around shoulder and was beginning to snake around the back of his neck.

"Valentino." Alastor's filter was grating, a warning despite his pleasant smile.

Valentino lazily blew out a thin pink, heart shaped mouth of smoke. It hit Alastor in the face. His smile was filthy as he gave the deer demon a once over. "Don't be jealous, venado, my offer is still open to you, too."

The static glitch of a record screeching. It wasn't hard to pick out Alastor's distaste with everything from the offer to the Overlord himself. "Pass," he quipped back, shotting down the offer with extreme prejudice.

The pimp shrugged, viewing it as his loss. He turned his attention back to his original target. "What do you say, papito? We could--."

"Val." Vox's voice was barely recognizable through whatever filter he was using, the noise causing Lucifer to flinch as it grated at his ears.

Valentino pouted, somehow making it look aggressive. "Vox, querido, what have I said about using that tone with me?" He twisted around in a way that accented his figure. "Don't be upset because the Radio Demon's already turned you down."

"The show is about to start, Val," Vox pointed out evenly and sternly, despite the dig. Lucifer was beginning to pick up that when it was anyone other than Alastor, the TV demon might actually be able to keep a cool head. "How do you think it will look if we don't start on time?"

Valentino's pout to edge in the direction of a normal pout. "Spoil sport." He leaned back until he was facing Lucifer. He reached out, running a single finger along the underside of the blonde's chin. "Call me if you change your mind." Offer made, he thankfully, finally got off the desk and made his way back over to Velvette.

Lucifer was going to take a long, hot shower when he got back to the hotel. With acid. Regrow some nice, new skin that Valentino had never touched.

Alastor pulled him from his thoughts, giving the back of his neck a squeeze. Lucifer was almost sad for the loss of contact when he pulled his hand away so he could resume his prior position.

From where he stood, Vox watched the two of them, his expression unreadable. Several minutely later, the blue and black themed sinner dropped into his own seat, calling out to the cameraman as he did so. "How's the camera holding up?"

The cameraman peaked at Alastor, indicating this question was because of the redhead's tendency to take out anything with a camera around him. The sinner studied his monitor and then gave a thumbs up.

Vox clicked his tongue. "So," he gripped, irritation heavy in his voice. "You can be recorded without destroying my electronics."

Lucifer couldn't see Alastor from where he was standing almost directly behind him, could only hear the tapping on his fingers on his microphone. His taunt was malicious as he came back with, "We both know I can be photographed ...when I want to be."

The TV demon grimaced, the hit landing where it obviously hurt. He had little time to recover, as the cameraman began his countdown. As he hit zero, Vox's smile was back in place, just a lot less real.

"Top of the hour, folks!" Vox's voice was loud and boisterous, the rhythm and pace almost break neck. "Breaking news: in a rare interview, we're joined by none other than the King of Hell and the Devil himself, Lucifer Morningstar!" Vox leaned over, holding a hand out to indicate the fallen angel sitting beside him. "Please, give your people a little wave, your Majesty."

Lucifer resisted the urge to flip him off. Gave the camera a little wave with little enthusiasm.

Vox carried on, unphased, "Equally rare and unlikely to never happen again, fellow sinners, we also have radio talk show host, the Radio Demon himself, Alastor!"

Alastor didn't wave. He grinned straight into the camera, as if staring into the very souls of the views, eyes and teeth alight as reality itself threatened to warp around him.

The camera gave an alarming whine. The cameraman gave an alarmed cry as it threatened to give out.

Point made, Alastor seemed to remember he was supposed to be behaving. The camera stopped whining as reality returned to normal.

Vox's eye twitched. Smile strained along with his chipper tone, he said, "Your Majesty, I assume your being here is because of the attacks on the hotel your daughter is running?"

Lucifer gave him his own chipper smile. "You mean the attacks you only know about because of your voyeuristic habits?"

Vox laughed, a touch nervously. "You've clearly never dealt with the paparazzi, sire. One has to cross a few boundaries if they want to get the exclusive first."

Was that what he was going with?

Either blind to it or ignoring it, Vox glossed over Lucifer's offense, moving on to, "Please, tell us, do you have any idea who's behind the attacks? We're dying to know."

Lucifer highly doubted that. Or at least, doubted Vox cared. It was more likely he wanted the hotel to fail or get taken out, judging from his poorly concealed eagerness. He leaned his elbow onto the table, chin resting on his palm. "I'm not here to waste my time nor the listeners' with an interview." He took delight in watching Vox falter for the first time since the interrogation began. Over his shoulder, he called sweetly, "Alastor?"

Alastor's voice was just sweet and still more bloodthirsty. "Yes, sire?"

It was a show of how in tune Vox was with Alastor's moods that the TV demon was already beginning to sweat. He was doing a good job of hiding it, Lucifer would give him that. It was a pity he was sitting beside someone who could see right through him, when he chose to make the effort. Lucifer rose from his chair, the blue and black sinner nearly taking a screen full of wings as they manifested. "Be a doll and make certain Vox doesn't get any ideas. Like interfering."

"With pleasure." Alastor's words were nearly lost to his filter. The air around them crackled, the shadows in the corners of the room growing unnaturally dark. Vox dropped all pretenses of pretending he wasn't unnerved, leaning back as much to avoid the wings as to distance himself from the redheaded sinner.

Red and white wings fluttered, giving Lucifer the lift to make stepping up onto the desk look effortless. Papers flew everywhere and a few people made startled noises as they were hit with a few errant pages. His wings fanned out, allowing him to gracefully fall into a seated potion on the other side of the desk. He leaned to the side, placing his weight on the hand braced on the desk, head rolling until he was facing the other two Vees. "Velvette, if you value your life just sit there and look pretty for a bit."

Velvette narrowed her eyes to slits at him. "What the hell?"

Valentino waited to see what advice he had for him. When he received none, the pimp blew out a lung full of pink smoke. His expression turned sultry. "Nothing for me, pequeño rey?"

Lucifer didn't respond, not wanting to give the game away too soon. Relaxing his control over his form, he allowed the full extent of his corrupted, angelic form to appear on full display for all of the viewers to see. Far too many eyes focused in on not just the camera, but the cameraman and the sinners directly around him. Each of them instinctively shied away, hindbrains warning them they were out in the open and too exposed. Vox attempted to push his chair back, the area around the desk suddenly a little too hot, only to be stopped by the end of Alastor's strategically placed staff locking the chair in place.

Lucifer rolled his head back around, until he could easily stare into the camera. "Now, to clear up a few things: I could care less about sinner politics." He grinned in that way he knew looked off, even for a creature of Hell, leaning into the fact that he wasn't human and had never been human. "How you decide to throw away the one good thing you stupid, stupid little humans have going for you is up to you." His pupils were lost in a red glow as his temper spiked, the flame of hellfire blazing between his horns. " What I do take issue with is someone sending hitman to threaten my daughter over something as silly as potential lost contracts."

He slid off the desk, the sinners in front of him all collectively taking a step back. Only the cameraman stayed in place, too frozen to move. "Perhaps it's my fault, I've been away a while." He held out a hand, fingers searching until he found the particular contract he was looking for. "Perhaps it's yours for never reading the fine print." His hand closed around his desired target, a chain made of pink, translucent smoke, deceptively fragile, coming into being. One end led out the doors. The other end led off to the side, leading over to a certain Overlord.

Valentino's and Angel's contract.

The pimp held up his wrist, confusion evident on his face. "The fuck?"

Lucifer's grin was all teeth. He wrapped his hand around and around the chain until he had a nice, solid grip on it. Without warning, he viciously yanked on the chain.

Valentino was pulled so hard, his shoulder nearly popped out of its socket. The pimp yowled like a cat dropped into pool as he was sent crashing to the floor. Lucifer didn't give him the chance to recover, reeling him in like a particularly resistant fish, the Overlord shouting and cursing as he was dragged across the floor. The Devil gave no quarter, even when he had him where he wanted him, pressing his heel into Valentino's back and twisting moth's arm until it was just short breaking.

"You see," Lucifer carried on, tone bored and voice raised over the slew of insults being thrown his way, "There's this little clause in your contracts that say I have the final say in every single one of them."

"You little shit!" Valentino hissed, twisting in a way that should be impossible for someone who purportedly had a spine. "We had nothing to do with the attacks on that shithole your hija is running."

Lucifer pulled on the chain until he could hear the shoulder pop. The sinner's claws dug into the ground beneath him, glare baleful. "Maybe," Lucifer said, almost nonchalant. "But you're the lowest kind of sinner: the kind that profits on selling human flesh and locks people into contracts so they can never escape."

The moth demon snarled, composure gone. "Every one of those whores came to me willingly. I made them stars. They would be nothing without me."

The Devil peered down at him, unmerciful. All of Valentino's sins where on display for him to see and judge and he found him wanting. "Nothing gives you the right to abuse another human being."

Lucifer returned his attention to the camera. He wrapped his free hand around another section of the chain, pulling the links tight between his two fists. "Let everyone remember that your little deals mean nothing if I say so."

Without further ado, he pulled almost effortlessly on the chain, Valentino's strength that of a kittens next to his. A link, just off center, gave, pulling apart until it shattered. Each one of the links similarly followed suit, falling from his hand like crystalline shards. They vanished like the smoke they had originally appeared as before they could hit the ground.

Valentino's arm, free of the chain, fell to the floor with a heavy thud.

Lucifer stepped off his back, releasing him. Stepping around the desk this time, he held his hand out to Alastor. The Radio Demon blinked back at him, something delighted behind his gaze.

It looked a little like victory.

He took Lucifer's hand.

"The Hazbin Hotel and every one of its residents are under my protection," Lucifer declared into the stunned silence, voice projected loud and unearthly, raising the hair on ever sinner's head, save the one in front of him. He looked upon each of the sinners in the room, gaze coming to rest on the camera lens. "I will not have mercy upon anyone looking to cause my daughter anymore trouble."

To his right, a portal appeared. Without another word, he stepped through it, pulling Alastor along with him.

As everyone continued to stare, the portal vanished and they were gone.

tbc

Translations:

-Papito: Little daddy

-Mi pequeño rey: My little king

-Venado: Deer or venison. I chose this word as a way for Valentino to make a dig at the fact that Alastor's demon form is a type of food source.

-Querido: Darling, used if you love or like someone. Chosen as a shoutout to the affair they're clearly having.

[guidaozongshi]

On Sakura and SasuSaku's apparent popularity in the eastern fandom

One of the widely regurgitated talking points in favour of the Sasuke/Sakura relationship is that it is the most popular Naruto pairing in Japan and that Sakura is a very popular character but western fans apparently fail to understand the nuances of their relationship unlike their eastern counterparts. These claims range from half-truths to complete nonsense, in this post I attempt to counter these.

Firstly, let's talk about Sakura's reception in Japan.

Kishimoto infamously said that girls would come up to him to complain about Sakura and that he really struggled to make her likeable. But you don't need his statements to arrive at the conclusion that she is not well received.

Take a look at the Naruto Character popularity polls by Shounen Jump taken during the run of the manga.

Character Poll 1 , as of Chapter 60

1. Kakashi Hatake – 22,692 votes

2. Naruto Uzumaki – 16,729 votes

3. Sasuke Uchiha – 13,674 votes

4. Iruka Umino – 7,128 votes

5. Sakura Haruno – 3,055 votes

Naruto had just started to take off , with Team 7 being the main focus, yet look at the difference in votes for the members. Iruka, a character that barely appears overtook Sakura. What's ironic is that this will be the highest position she would ever receive because her popularity gets worse.

Character Poll 2 , as of Chapter 107

1. Naruto Uzumaki – 2,788 votes

2. Kakashi Hatake – 2,635 votes

.

14. Sakura Haruno – 359 votes

14th Position! Despite the fact she is from a trio of characters that are the most focused on. Not only the other Konoha rookies rank above her but even Gambunta ( the frog ) overtakes her.

In Character poll 3 , 4 ( chapter 199 ), 5 ( chapter 245 ), 6 ( chapter 292 ) and 7 ( chapter 531 ) her ranking becomes 9 , 10 , 8 , 12 and 12 respectively , while the other Team 7 members never leave Top 4. Characters with less panels and appearances repeatedly overtake her.

It is not an exaggeration to say that she was widely disliked as a main character. She has been repeatedly bashed, on Japanese online forums as well as by the author. ( more on this later )

All this of course doesn't mean that she doesn't have a fanbase, oh she has! a very loyal one and a particular kind at that . Women who love Sakura tend to be fans of Shoujo/Josei , something you can notice if you have come across SasuSaku artworks.

When Naruto ended , the majority of their comments were congratulating Sakura on her long one sided crush being finally reciprocated and how happy they were for her. Sasuke fans couldn't care less about the relationship as her character has hardly any effect on his story ( that is, until Gaiden came along and angered many people)

There is a noticeable difference in how JP artists portray their relationship in comparison to their western counterpart. The former portrays it as a 'puppy love' like between an idol and a fan. The appeal of the relationship comes from Sasuke, who is the classical male ideal and Sakura who is deeply ' loyal' to him , who then gets rewarded for it. It is one of the reasons why it only shot up in popularity post-ending.

On the other hand, the latter seems to believe that Sakura is Sasuke's equal, that she challenges and influences Sasuke, despite the fact that she becomes a doormat in front of him and according to Sakura's own words she couldn't come close to Sasuke's heart.

I have discussed why some Japanese fans like Sasuke/Sakura as it may appeal to their taste but these fans don't make much of the fanbase.

Case in point, one of the most hyped SasuSaku material i.e Sasuke Retsuden only managed to sell about 17k copies for the weeks it charted, in Comparison Naruto J Novels 1-7 sold about 470K when it was in circulation back in 2008.

Even the manga adaptation piggybacking on the anime couldn't even sell 40K copies for the first volume.

There was a time when Sasuke's name alone would be enough for a manga to sell out but the truth is that not only the majority of Naruto fans have moved on since 2015, even the loyal fans aren't interested in this content.

After Gaiden came out, Both Sakura and her relationship received harsh criticism, the 2channel threads kept bashing her and Kishimoto of the poor handling of the relationship.

Some of the snippets

"..with the release of Gaiden, the author just had worsened what was already bad. I guess he lost his willpower to write.”

“I was expecting before Sasuke and Sakura’s feelings would be shown in Gaiden but was edited out...because back time I thought I saw some spoilers that Sasuke and Sakura had gotten closer.

But now there’s no way there was some edit, no, this whole thing is a fucking lie.”

"A natural progress of loving, to slowly get accustomed and come to love someone, yeah I can’t imagine this with Sasu/Saku. Such extremely weird couple, how are they supposed to get used with each other over time? This is the vibe I get.

This relationship feels weird in my head, maybe I’m asking for too much to find a reason behind this.

But Kishimoto’s Sasu/Saku bonds is completely empty, I guess it’s funny that there’s nothing to add in it.”

"Sakura’s feelings is over the top terrible. She’s able to be happy with this..”

The thread is VERY long but you get the gist of it.

Fun fact : In 2015 Sasuke/Sakura was 6th most voted couple that should Break-Up by Japnese readers

Accusing others of not understanding their relationship because they apparently don't get their supposedly "culturally contextual relationship" is quite stupid and laughable because it's also hated by many Japanese people. It's only popular with a specific set of audience.

Which brings me to the other argument.

"Sasuke/Sakura is the most popular Naruto couple in Japan"

While this might be true today, it has not always been the case. Sasuke/Sakura shot in popularity post-Naruto ending while the most popular pairing throughout the run of the series (Sasuke/Naruto) declined. ( If anybody has the pixiv stats from 2012/13 , please feel free to add)

Take a look at this Naruto couple ranking list in Japan from 2012 ( the rankings are based on Google Japan results if I am not wrong)

サスナル (SasuNaru) —- 166,000 res.

ナルサス (NaruSasu) —- 78,400 res.

サスナルサス ( SasuNaruSasu) —- 244,400 res.

サスサク (SasuSaku) —- 54,700 res.

There's quite a large gap.

Even in 2016, 2 years after Naruto ended and many Sasuke/Naruto artists deleted their artworks or moved on from the fandom , it still rivaled SasuSaku in popularity on pixiv

SasuNaruSasu サスナルサス 9.502 works

SasuSaku サスサク 8.150 works

For other East Asian countries, I already wrote about how SasuNaruSasu is the largest pairing in China with no close second . I am unfortunately not familiar with the Korean fandom.

I will make a separate post for the Chinese Naruto fandom but they are very brutal against the Sasuke/Sakura relationship.

This is the general sentiment there :

Sasuke married Sakura to atone for his sins

🤍 10 K

[fast-moon]

I'm 30 years late, but...

Star Trek: Deep Space Nine originally aired when I was 10 years old. I loved Next Generation when I was a kid, so I gave DS9 a try back then... and immediately grew bored of it. They weren't going to new planets or having space battles, they were just sitting around in one place discussing space politics, and there wasn't even anyone funny like Data to hold my attention. So, I stopped watching after a couple episodes.

But, since I keep hearing it ended up being the best Trek seres, I've decided to go ahead and give it a full watch-through. Maybe now that I'm 40 and have more life experience under my belt, I can appreciate it more.

Turns out I do! I've finished the first season, so I'll give a run-down of what I thought of the S1 episodes below the cut:

1-2. Emissary: All right, I actually understand the premise this time which completely went over my head as a kid. The Bajorans were under Cardassian occupation for decades, the Federation showed up and drove them out, now the Federation is in control of the Cardassian space station DS9 to help the Bajorans rebuild and return to self-governance. But wait! Turns out there's a wormhole that goes to the other side of the galaxy here and it's suddenly become prime space real-estate! And the wormhole is inhabited by... mysterious non-temporal entities that spit out a magic orbs from time to time and the Bajorans worship them as prophets.

3. Past Prologue: Garak is queer-coded like whoa and gives Bashir a taste of his own medicine about not respecting boundaries. Is also possibly like a quadruple-agent. And tailors a fine suit. Also, Kira got a haircut. There's rats on spaceships?! Oh, that's just Odo. Okay. Still, the fact that he considered that a convincing disguise means there's rats on spaceships?!

4. A Man Alone: A guy backstabs himself and blames Odo for it.

5. Babel: Poor overworked O'Brien gets so stressed out he starts speaking in tongues. Then it turns out it's contagious. And it turns out that it's because someone sabotaged the station decades ago with a dyslexia virus and then just kind of forgot about it.

6. Captive Pursuit: This actually touches on a moral question I'd been wondering about if we ever end up with sentient AI: If something is bred/programmed to like being oppressed, is it more moral to remove it from its oppression even if that makes it miserable, or to return it to its oppression if that's what makes it happy? This episode chose the latter.

7. Q-Less: A surprisingly boring Q-centric episode whose only shenanigans involved a space stingray Vash was trying to sell off. Q really does miss Picard.

8. Dax: Oh, another philosophical thought-experiment: If you committed a crime and then get reincarnated in a traceable manner and retain all the memories of your previous incarnation, can your current incarnation be held liable for your previous incarnation's actions? This episode decides it doesn't want to answer this because she's not guilty, anyway.

9. The Passenger: Bashir becomes even more insufferable and nobody notices.

10. Move Along Home: Samurai hippies come through the wormhole and demand everyone LARP with them whether they like it or not.

11. The Nagus: Quark falls victim to one of the classic blunders, the most famous of which is "Never get involved in a land war with Asia". But only slightly less well-known is this: "Never get involved with a Ferengi when profit is on the line".

12. Vortex: So... Odo just lets a guy get away with murder because he has a sob story and claimed he knew others of his kind? Just because he was wanted unjustly on his home planet does not change the fact that he murdered a guy for hire. Also, Odo can get knocked out by a rock?

13. Battle Lines: Remember that "Great Divide" episode of Avatar: The Last Airbender that everyone hated? No reason.

14. The Storyteller: O'Brien goes down to Bajor to fix the pipes, becomes God.

15. Progress: Kira has to go convince a Boomer to leave his land because they need the resources to rebuild the planet, but he's all "I got mine, screw them." She humors his sexist behavior all episode, then burns his house down.

16. If Wishes Were Horses: Bashir wishes for his own personal side-piece Dax, and real Dax is weirdly okay with this because "boys will be boys". The conflict in this episode is literally solved by thinking happy thoughts.

17. The Forsaken: Odo gets sexually harassed so reports it to HR who just laughs him off because they think it would be good for him to get laid. Then he gets stuck in an elevator with his stalker and it's revealed just how physically strenuous it is for him to maintain his human form all day, and yet he has never been afforded any accommodations beyond a bucket to sleep in. This poor space slime, no wonder he's always so grumpy. #JusticeForOdo

18. Dramatis Personae: TNG's "The Inner Light", but stupid. Once again Odo has to save the day because he's immune to the humanoid crazypox that seems to infect the station every half-dozen episodes, and yet they still just can't find it in their effects budget to adjust station operations enough to allow him the minimal comfort of not having to contort himself into human form every day until he collapses just to do his job.

19. Duet: I am a sucker for "Did the janitors on the Death Star deserve to die?" sorts of moral discussions, and this episode delivered that very well. Also, I'm in lesbians with Kira.

20. In the Hands of the Prophets: Lady who doesn't even have kids at the school nevertheless takes issue that the children aren't being taught in accordance to her religious beliefs. It's been 30 years since this came out and nothing changes.

All in all, a decent season 1. It does show its age in places, especially in its treatment of female characters, and being written before the internet and smartphones caused seismic cultural shifts that its vision of the future failed to take into account. But still, I'm liking it now that I actually understand what's going on. On to season 2!

[yourlocalstranger123]

@junejunejun

—The post—

I totally understand your pain. Your fav character not having enough fics of them in this app? Absolute pain. Also! Spoiler alert❗️ there's gonna be 2 readers together 😘🥰 (totally not because idk which 2 gender of readers u wanted)

This is kinda sh- bad.

Note: I do not proof read so if I miss-spell something or like instead of saying her/he or she/him and saying "you" Please do correct me.

Male reader is either taller or stronger than itto. Just wanted to point out

DNI MINORS. Of course, if u are one and still read it; I won't stop you, but you can't blame me. <3 Also, I still don't completely understand how to lock a fic thing. Idk anymore

Warning:! 3rd person point of view? NSFW, Slight blood mention, praise k!nk, threesome, Slight rivalry between readers, only 2 genders (f!) And (m!) So no trans reader, Itto is AMAB and I think that's all? Tell me if I missed some.

Itto— orange

×—×—×

Itto was doing a Beetle battles again. Totally not dying inside from being defeated 8 times in a row. He finally was finished as he wobbly tried to find you. Sniffling at his loss slightly, but still, his mood was happy! Like, how can't he not be happy with you? He still tries to find you until he finds a bottle filled with bright and hot pink color liquid.

He wasn't gonna drink it at first, but he was unconsciously coming closer (perhaps because of the aroma in the atmosphere). Without knowing until he gulped the whole bottle down, he panicked since he didn't know why he did that. He quickly ran to your guys house, finding you both there as his hair was a mess. he quickly rested his head on {F! Name} lap/thighs. (Don't worry, the certain merchant that selled that was me teehe. It's all free.)

(Guys can have very....nice thighs, you know. Either buff, slim, thick, and girls thighs, or any. Because I'm going to suffocate myself with it either way— I mean.....nvm-...im just saying y'know.)

[Also, the lap/thighs is {F! Name}]

He shuddered when he felt a more, muscular and bigger hands onto his neck that was playing with his hair. It was {M! Name}

"What's wrong itto?" {M! Name} asked. {F! Name} was also worried. Rubbing his horns softly as he whined. "*hic* Please help me....it huurts..! Pleashe.....?" His words slurring, as his face flushed with red

He's squirmed, whining how it hurts! Please help him? Pretty pleaseee? Drooling as he quickly kissed back when {F! Name} kissed him. Trying to lean more into the kiss, he yelped when {M! Name} walked to the bedroom upstairs, covering his mouth from the embarrassment of making the sound.

But quickly forgets it and tried un-buttoning {M! Name} shirt but pouting when he struggled, so he simply ripped it apart, which made {F! Name} slightly chuckling and made {M! Name} raise his eyebrow at him.

"Oh my, how impatient of our Itto to just do this!" {F! Name} laughed as she said that. {M! Name} sighed but smirked slightly when he saw Itto voice muffling against his neck, sucking it and leaving marks. {M! Name} groaned when he felt Itto biting him, licking off the small drops of blood.

Both of you guys eyes widen as you see Itto's teeth....did it become more sharper and bigger than before? It doesn't matter because Itto is both of you guys darling precious Oni! You guys slightly blushed as many lewd thoughts comes out as you see Itto laid out onto the bed, looking do majestic!>>>

Itto's pants were getting tight, trying to quickly tug it off. Panting as he tried grabbing you both with his hands but instead just making a grabbing action in the air. Whining as {M! Name} Chuckled. Itto drooled as he saw {F! Name} fingering herself for prep after you both finished taking your clothes off. {F! Name} pulled of Itto's pants and was about to put Itto's cock into her dripping pussy but {M! Name} slightly moved her over and kept Itto for himself.

Seeing his smirk of winning, {F! Name} scoffed. But soon went to Itto's side, letting him gently grabbing her chest and letting him suck on it. Drool dripping from his chin as he muffled his moaning by sucking on it. Slightly shuddering and tears forming when {M! Name} started to finger him, laughing when three fingers fit in so easily.

"Oh? Already playing with yourself while we weren't here?" {M! Name} teased. Biting and sucking Itto's chest as he continued scissoring Itto's hole. Itto's face flushed, hugging {F! Name} waist. Hiding his face into her chest. "Awww, is my Itto upset from {M! Name} teasing?"

{F! Name} said. Itto slightly nodded, bucking his hips into {M! Name} fingers. He opened his mouth, letting his tongue out. He whined when you didn't understand his desires.

"Please let me taste you, pleaseeee?"

Itto begs, squeezing her thighs as he pouts and uses those doggy eyes of his. Sighing, but smiling at {M! Name}. As he rolled his eyes at her, she lifted her hips up and lines it up to Itto's mouth. As Itto desperately eating her out, {M! Name} finally entered him. Groaning by the warmth and tightness around him as Itto whined. Grinding against him, Itto eyes rolled back as it teased his prostate.

"What a good boy, staying still and listening to us. Good boys definitely need a reward, don't they?" {F! Name} smiled, seeing Itto's cock twitch at her words. Stroking Itto's hair as he licked off the juices from her pussy. Not wanting to waste any,,

The room filled with slurping of itto's mouth on {F! Name} boobs and the creaks of the bed. Making {M! Name} smiled at the destroyed state of Itto, pressing onto the bulge, which made Itto squirmed. A blue oni covering his mouth, panting as he desperately humped his palm as he leaned onto the door. Listening to the lewd sounds.

[rojedir]

Thinking about 'The Return' again. There's often a drive to treat narratives, especially challenging ones, as puzzles, in the hopes that putting the pieces together and 'solving' it would add up to a satisfying answer.

But, in Twin Peaks, I feel like that's almost bound to miss the point. The Return is much more a reflection on grief and aging that is added together through reocurring motifs and symbols. It's not a puzzle, things aren't unclear. In fact, at some points they are almost sincerely clear. It doesn't really matter if Sarah Palmer has been possessed by Judy or not, or how Freddy got the glove, or who the Firemen are. I think it's more rewarding to see it in terms of how the show enhances our perception to better inhabit these character's inner worlds. Sarah Palmer's life has been consumed by grief, totalizing grief, for years. She's lost her daughter, and her husband, and the scenes in the Palmer house are more interesting as attempts to *linger*, to stay inside of her perspective, they're not necessarily trying to further a narrative by dropping clues for the viewer to pick on. In that sense, The Return is a much more loose narrative, almost emphasizing how much someone like Lynch has changed from his earlier, more straightforward work into increasingly disjointed, dreamlike narratives.

In fact, the show seems decidedly interested in *how* it cannot be Twin Peaks again, how it's impossible to return to itself fully. Not only because 25 years have gone by, but because the world and the mores of the 90s in the USA don't exist anymore. Small towns aren't booming Middle American communities, Horne's Hotel is ran by a just-getting-by skeleton crew instead of a large business. Jerry Horne makes money out of selling legal weed, which would be unthinkable in the War on Drugs world of late 80s-early 90s American televesion, but legal in Washington during the late 2010s.

And yet, so much of it, from the experimental Part 8, to the goofier elements like Wally, to the police procedurals, to the depictions of violence, they're all Twin Peaks as well. They're a kaleidoscope of elements of the original show, and they're both rearranged in a way that feels thematically familiar as well as presented in a way that signals that this isn't the same world. That there's something in our world that can never be returned to, or fully absorbed, and the pyrrhic victory of attempting to. Twin Peaks season 3 cannot be the same as seasons 1 and 2. We can't fix Laura Palmer's murder.

All we can is reflect on the world we're a part of, and linger.

[insipid-drivel]

Getting a new wheelchair! The XTSO M4

If you're wondering what model of power chair this is, it's this in the readmore:

Here's the website.

Here's my family friend's website with even more variety and options.

I'm brand new to wheelchairs and power chairs, but have recently invested in this one as my mobility has been an increasing issue as I'm getting older. A family friend of mine has MS and owns a wheelchair and powerchair company, and just recently went to a floor-show of new models in Miami, FL, and emailed me back with the XSTO M4 as a recommendation for my first chair.

These chairs are expensive. They may not be affordable for you. I'm only getting one because I know a guy who sells them and he's willing to help me out when it comes to the financials. However, if you're curious, shopping, or interested to know what kind of new tech is starting to be incorporated into electric wheelchairs, here are some product deets about the M4:

Comes with an automatic balance system, which balances out the seat even when I'm going uphill. This prevents the "I'm going to fall and hit my head" sensation if a slope is steep.

Can clear vertical obstacles of up to 2" vertically or 6" horizontally (such as rolling over grass between paving stones) , so if a city's infrastructure sucks for chair-bound people, I can at least brute-force to a sidewalk or park when necessary.

Can handle slopes of up to 15°

Breathable back and memory foam seat for no more Ass Sweat Prints on warm days.

Designed not to slip or skid on slippery surfaces or going up or downhill

Self-adjusts the seat to stay level even when on a slope so I don't tip over or fall off the chair. Also has a safety-wheel in the back so it can't be tipped backwards, either.

Travels up to 11 miles on a single charge

Has both "casual" (indoor) and "off-road" settings.

Can adjust the seat up or down up to 8" to Reach Things Better or Be More Visible To Traffic.

Has no rear handles for assholes to grab and try to move me around without permission.

Comes with an app (ugh I know) that makes my phone make an alert noise when the battery is low or a part or component is malfunctioning, gives me the ability to remotely control it to wheel it closer to me if it's out of reach and I can't walk to it (honestly a selling point for me; I never know when I'll have Bad Issues and need extra help), switch its modes from casual to sport mode, and make it fold/unfold for space.

Breaks into 3 separate parts for easier storage in the back of a car.

Goes up to ~4mph, which isn't bad for me, since my normal mph at home without a chair is 0.

Has a tight 32" turning radius courtesy of the front tires, making it good for moving around indoors too.

Seat reclines and has a small leg-rest for if I want to lean back.

The manufacturer recycles parts, so if something like the battery needs replacing, I can send the old part in and receive a new, replacement part for free.

Almost every feature covered by the app is also available on the LCD readout beside the joystick, so I don't need to use the app if I don't want to.

It doesn't look like I stole it from a retirement home or a WalMart.

[morimakesfanart]

Sindria's Prophet #41

[1] [2] [3] [4] [5] [6] [7] [8] [9] [10] [11] [12] [13] [14] [15] [16] [17] [18] [19] [20] [21] [22] [23] [24] [Intermission] [25] [26] [27] [28] [29] [30] [31] [32] [33] [34] [35] [36] [37] [38] [39] [40]

[AO3] [wattpad]

Sinbad x OC

*Mori goes to horny mecha *More sex ed things *Emotional/tonal whiplash ~POV Sinbad~ Mori couldn't keep their eyes off of him for days, but they turned away every time Sinbad returned their gaze. He was definitely getting under their skin. It was only a matter of time before they fully became his, but he wasn't certain he could make it happen before he left for the Kou Empire. It was only after he sat at his desk and couldn't seem to finish a single document that he couldn't deny Mori was under his skin too. Even the waves were pointing him away from his desk.

However, the King couldn't exactly leave when he had just started working -that was what Zepar was for. The bird circled the Black Libra Tower, and when it entered through an open window of Mori's office it wasn't his Beautiful Prophet inside. That was definitely Ja'far leaving the room holding a bunch of scrolls. And when he entered the court yard, the General was headed towards the White Capricorn Tower. Something told Sinbad that Ja'far was heading his way without the waves. He dropped control of the bird.

Sure enough, Ja'far entered his office with the scrolls and put them on his desk. "Sin, is what Mori wrote in these true?" Just glancing at the labels he knew, "I haven't read those ones yet, but I'm sure they are." "Read them now." Ja'far had not looked this upset with him in years. "I'll wait."

--- ~POV Sharrkan~ Mori was ranting and it was far worse than anything Yam had ever said. "Yeah, no! I don't care how pretty these are or how much of a tourist attraction they are! You have to stop selling and supplying quartz and wooden dildos!" The Prophet pointed one such facile at the group before her. "These materials are porous. They can't be properly sterilized, so they will eventually lead to infections no matter what orifice they're shoved into!" Sindria's best swordsman was stuck between covering his face or ears while Mori 'educated' him and the staff of the Red Light District. This was a mistake. 'Can the King just show up and kill me right now????' She sighed. "You can make a similar-ish affect to quartz with glass right? That's actually safe to use, easy to sterilize, and they can handle a wide range of temperatures so you can even use them for temperature play." The Prophet twirled the crystalline dick while talking. "I was surprised when I saw how advanced this country's glass is so there shouldn't be a problem making dildos out of safe materials with the glass work here." Sharrkan had thought she would just take notes or something and leave, not try to fix everything right then and there!!! What materials were safe, what practices were dangerous; 'didn't matter that she was also teaching them things they could do/use instead that would work better. Wasn't Mori supposed to be a huge virgin nerd like Yam??? Why did she know so much about all of this? There's no way this was just from her visions. The staff were the ones taking notes instead of the Prophet. 'At least they seem to be enjoying themselves.'

--- ~POV Sinbad~ Ja'far brought the remaining Fate scrolls Sinbad had yet to read, but only really wanted him to read parts of 2 of them for the conversation. The contents were telling, both in his mistakes of the past, and Ja'far's current glare. When his Beautiful Prophet first told him that he ran away from responsibility using 'Fate,' he thought he had found the true answer in the waves. But that was a contradiction. The waves were caused by people's decisions, so even if they guide people to opportunities it doesn't remove their agency. Without realizing it, Sinbad had fallen into another phantasm to protect himself from guilt. Some of the comments Mori made since they met had hinted at the real reason but it was clear she had no intention of telling him directly. All of the scrolls had signs of being edited here and there, but not these two. They were still in process. And so there was the truth written directly in the paragraphs after his release from slavery.

...He had long forgotten how to ask for emotional support ... Those feelings would fester every time he made another mistake until he was able to fully replace his guilt with the acceptance of 'Fate' as inevitable. He wouldn't be able to acknowledge his own potential for evil for another 15~ years...

That last line held the answer. 'His own potential for evil.' That was the point Mori was really talking around all this time. In her visions he hadn't been able to accept that side of himself until it was too late. He knew he was capable of such things on a factual level considering how he viewed some of his Kingly actions as 'necessary evils,' but that wasn't the same as acknowledging that truth in his Heart. The reason he had longed for the ways of his youth was because back then he hadn't done anything that would haunt the rest his life; he had yet to gamble in desperation only to hurt those around him. But even that wasn't really the truth. When Sinbad had read about when he left home after capturing the Dungeon all he could think of was how that action damned everyone in his village just as was revealed in the scrolls in front of him. He had been making this mistake since the start. 'Just what have I been doing all this time?'

Ja'far's darkened stare waited until he got through the 2nd scroll. "This is so much worse than how you made it sound. This is more than some kid thinking he's the chosen one." A hand went to his head as he tried to wrap his mind around everything. "Sin, why do you think we all swore our lives to help you achieve your dream?"

Sinbad couldn't look away from the scrolls. Doing so would only mean seeing the disappointment in his friend's eyes. He had spent so long keeping what happened in Parthevia a secret. There was nothing he could do about it now.

"I know you don't like sharing your plans, but I thought... Did you ever trust us to help you?! What was the point of gathering all of us then??"

The King opened his mouth, and the realization that he couldn't say the 'right' answer and believe his own words hit him much harder than Ja'far's accusations. His heart started racing to match the flow of the waves. The General may have only read those 2 scrolls but Sinbad had read everything leading up to them, so more of his past was fresh in his mind. Sure, he reached out to people to teach him things periodically, but any time he ran into a real problem he always took on that burden alone. Sinbad had expected 'support' from his Household Members and citizens, but never 'help.'

Sinbad lost control over his expression. "That's part of why I decided to change this path I'm on. Mori made it clear that I will repeat the mistakes of my past if I don't start relying on you all even when I..." He was unable to find the right words to finish his sentence.

"Sin." Ja'far practically hissed his name. "If you don't fix this bad habit of yours then I'll kill you myself, just like I promised all those years ago, before you can cause the 2nd Calamity."

"I'll count on that." He would rather that than be the one that almost destroyed the world. Taking a deep breath didn't help nearly as much as he hoped. "I think we've humored Mori long enough. I need to know for sure how I'm connected to the 2nd Calamity." ---

~POV Mori~ To be honest, I wasn't expecting the management of the Red Light District to believe me right away. But apparently, being officially announced as the Prophet was really good PR because they were very excited to receive some of my 'prophecies for the betterment of Sindria.' The waves had grown dangerously high during my info dumping. If I didn't know how much of a change a sexual revolution could cause from reading history I might have been concerned. Instead, it made my heart swell with pride.

Returning to my room empty handed was a bit disappointing, but it did make it easier to sneak back without being noticed. It also gave me time to make a space the bunch of the new glass dildos I preordered. I was definitely looking forward to the future.

"Finally!" Sharrkan groaned as we exited the district. "If I knew you were going to take so long figuring out-" Both of us froze in the gold gilded doorway.

'Why is Sinbad entering the Red Light District in the middle of the day???' That thought was immediately counter when I noticed Ja'far standing next to him. That meant he was here for official business, not pleasure. 'Why am I only now realizing I could have waited for him to leave the country before attempting this????' At least I wasn't carrying a bag of dicks. That would have been the most damning evidence. --- ~POV Sinbad~ When the guards had revealed that Mori was escorted to the Red Light District by Sharrkan, Sinbad was unwilling to wait for their return. However, something wasn't quite adding up to his expectations. Mori was happily walking out of the Red Light District, and Sharrkan was drained and depressed besides her.

Before the King could say anything, Mori greeted them. "Hello, you're Majesty, Ja'far! I was originally going to tell you after writing up a report first, but since you're here I'll let you know now: I realized I could share medical information for reproductive health here." She gestured behind her, "I just finished my first trip to see what is the current common knowledge, so I could better understand how I can help."

'Does that means Sharrkan didn't drag Mori here?' Even so she was talking a bit too quickly. She was definitely nervous about something.

Ja'far responded before the King could gather his thoughts. "Mori. You do remember that you promised not to invent anything, don't you?" His smile was not the nice one.

"Yes," she admitted without skipping a beat. "However I don't need to invent anything that we aren't already working on to help here." Mori's smile was unwavering.

Sinbad sought direct confirmation. "You really came here to figure out ways to improve this place?" ---

~POV Mori~ "Of course! Who do you think I am?" I said, you know, like a liar. I placed one hand on my hip, and the other over my heart for added flare. "The whole reason I came here was because the rubber experiments are coming along, and the same material can be used to make comfortable condoms you can actually feel through. That way no one has an excuse to not use them." The King and estranged prince coughed at my words. Ja'far's eyes widened. I took his lack of comment as a sign to continue. "We are already working towards rubber gloves. And what are the fingers on gloves other than tubes? We can make condoms by just making bigger tubes." I gave a perfect customer service smile to the man in charge of finances. "From my visions, I know how much trouble 'people' get into when they can't deny their desires, so I thought I could at least help with this part of the problem." "Mx. Prophet," Ja'far took a few steps forward and grabbed my hands. "You should have told me sooner! Something like is invaluable with a King like Sinbad." 'Fish, meet hook.' I softened my expression to lean into this pity angle. "I understand. I know how many complaints you've had to deal with because of him."

((Blatant Rose of Versailles reference ;3)) --- ~POV Sinbad~ This was a dilemma. Even though Sinbad had stopped taking partners, his Beautiful Prophet was none the wiser. This was a good opportunity to enlightened her, but there was something else he had to take care of first. Ja'far might have disliked Mori when they first met, but ever since the rebellion in Balbadd was stopped things started to change. They had started having periodic moments like this when their thoughts aligned. Sin didn't like it. He gently separated their hands and received their attention at the same time. "Hey now, I stopped asking for call girls weeks ago." On one hand, if Mori wanted something, Sinbad wanted to make sure she got it -if that was the assistance of one of his Generals so be it. But on the other hand, he didn't want anyone else catching Mori's eye. When he had heard that Sharrkan brought her to the Red Light District he had thought that one of his Household Members had betrayed him. From the look of things it was starting to seem like, instead of Sharrkan, it was Ja'far he should have been worried about. Ja'far took a few steps back. His eyes and brow scrunched in great disappointment and complete lack of fucks for the topic. "I think we will all feel better with this added protection considering your track record." "Yes, well..." There was no denying that. Sinbad cleared his throat into a fist to buy time as he listed the facts in his head: '-Mori has already admitted to her feelings for me before so clearly she wants to be with me. '-Mori is also aware of my own feelings even though she hasn't fully accept it yet. '-Mori has started working on condoms that are comfortable. 'She is clearly working towards our future, so we can have a long honeymoon before growing our family!!' Mori's expression was only marginally better than Ja'far's. "Are.... you sick?" The Prophet still trusted her visions far more than anything he could say. "I'm fine. I promise." This was a failure of a conversation. Sharrkan's snickering rubbed salt in the wound. There was nothing the Womanizer of the Seven Seas could say to clear his name. "...Okay." She clearly didn't believe him. Mori lightly clapped their hands together with a smile. "Well, on that bombshell, we'll let you go do whatever you were gonna do in the Red Light District." Regret. Humiliation. Was how he spent his life really such a bad thing for a future spouse? Wouldn't his experience and expertise mean that he would be guaranteed to satisfy them? Ja'far brought the topic around to their true purpose. "Actually Mori, we came to get you. We have some questions about the future you saw in your visions."

--- ~POV Mori~ The room they brought me to was the same one that lead to the balcony where I had dinner with Sinbad more than a month ago. As soon as we entered, the King started taking off his rings. Confusion spiked my anxiety. Sinbad gave me a reassuring smile. "I noticed during our meetings about Fate that you keep looking at my rings. When I remembered you know my Djinn's abilities it was obvious what you were worried about." He took off his remaining metal vessels and placed them on a coffee table. "I know I'll never use any of these on you, but actions speak louder than words at times like these." Ja'far followed his King's example and placed his metal vessels on the the table as well. I knew I looked at Zepar's ring a few times when talking about Fate, but I thought I made it seem like my eyes were wandering. I couldn't respond. My brain was still catching up and accepting what was happening. 'This isn't going to be about his trip to the Kou Empire...' I had already explained what visions I had of that trip during a meeting about preparing for it, but it was still the most likely topic I could think of. It wasn't until they settled in amongst the plush seating that I realized I should sit down too. Sinbad's expression went serious but he didn't feel angry. After a moment's hesitation he looked me in the eye. "The person who causes the 2nd Calamity is me, isn't it?" . . . . . . 'How????' The thought was immediately followed by the realization that since I hadn't responded right away there was no way they would believe anything other than admittance. I couldn't even consider the option. ((So that emotional whiplash of a cliffhanger, amiright? The chapter took so long to come out because- Surprised! That eye infection I had came back and being on the medication this time really messed me up. It's a stronger antibiotic since the last apparently didn't fully knock it out of me. I couldn't go outside without catching on fire and passing out, and I had to hyper monitor my diet. The doctor said I'm past the next stage so the dosage was cut in half. I feel more like a person again :D I'll be on it for at least another month. Wish me luck!! This chapter was also delayed because I ended up deciding to do Artober daily this year. It was my first year making a piece every day since Jake Parker ruined Inktober by trademarking it and doing a plagiarism. Anyway, I really enjoyed the challenge :D Inspired me to work on more of my original work and things. On that note, the next chapter is going to be delayed because I want to get a lucid dream one shot out by December 7th. I definitely chose that date for no reason in particular. It absolutely has nothing to do with it being a Jujutsu Kaisen dream. Promise UwU I also have an original piece I'm nearly done writing, but I'll wait to finalize it until I have the next chapter of Sindria's Prophet posted :3 The world and this country is on fire but that doesn't mean it's the end. We have survived every day up to this one, we can survive another. We will preserve.))

[amybizarre]

Welcome Home Cottagecore AU

Yeah boi, here we go- I posted about it already on Wattpad and AO3, but I wanted to offer it to more people! ^^ I only have a scribble of Cottagecore Wally rn, but hopefully a more proper drawing will come soon! Aside from that, enjoy some facts about Wally and introductions for the other neighbors under the cut! ^^

About Wally

1) He is 3ft smol! :3 (Yes, canon height >:3)

2) Wally is a little menace. But he's cute. So he gets away with it.

3) He always rolls up his pant legs a little, otherwise they'd be too long.

4) Of course Cottage Wally always wants to look dapper, so he wears his pompadour, a now green ascot, well worn dress shirt, olive waistcoat and his usual or brown shoes.

5) His absolute favorite piece of clothing however is his giant, oversized, beige cardigan, that the newest neighbor in their village (that neighbor being YOU) "lent" him.

6) You'll never get it back.

7) The sleeves are so long, they cover his hands most of the time. Which comes in very "handy" when "borrowing" apples from Howdy's farm.

8) Without his cardigan he gets very cold and upset.

9) That's why he wears it ALL the time. :)

10) All his clothes are mostly brown, beige or green.

11) He loves drawing outside! That's why he always has twigs, leaves and flower petals stuck in his hair. And the occasional bandaid on his "nose" or cheek, cause man's a little clumsy.

12) Wally blinks owlishly (like, one eye at a time) when he doesn't understand something.

13) Home is a tree house in this AU!

14) Underneath Home, Wally has a flower garden, where he grows his own special "spiral flowers".

15) Wally can see through these spiral flowers.

16) Wally has given each neighbor a spiral flower as a symbol of his friendship and platonic love. :)

17) Wally has an especially fluffy bed of flowers underneath Home's entrance, so he can just jump down into them without getting hurt.

18) Wally loves to nap in flower beds. No matter where.

19) He has a swing made from vines.

20) Flower crowns all day baby! One for every occasion and weather.

21) If his flowers wilt a little, he will ask Julie to drop by and talk to his flowers to figure out whats wrong with them.

22) Wally has freckles in this AU! :3

About Howdy

Howdy is a farmer in this AU, who does both: Grow crops and raise animals. Whatever his neighbors may need, be it wheat, milk, butter, cheese or wool - no matter! - he's got it all and is happy to sell or share. It's a lot of work tho, to maintain a farm. Even when he's got four hands! So naturally he appreciates any help he can get and will repay accordingly. A jolly, big floof with a big heart, who adores a good joke to lighten the mood during work.

About Poppy

Poppy loves to go on walks in the woods. She has a little nack for collecting all sorts of mushrooms. But fret not! She knows each and every one of them by heart! Same goes for all types of herbs, nuts and berries and everything else you can forage for. She usually ends up cooking stock, conserving/drying the things she collected, to make tea from it or even home made medicine. She always makes wayyy too much for just herself tho, so she gives a lot of it away to the neighbors. Sweet, gentle and caring as usual.

About Frank

Frank is the local librarian, who keeps the small community building (where the library is in) in check. He's also keeps bees as a hobby. His bees usually fly around either the community area or Howdy's fruit trees. He knows a lot - and I mean A LOT - about all sorts of insects, with his favorite still being butterflies. Frank always seems to act a little off when Eddie's around. He is usually very disciplined and stern, but likes to loosen up every now and then.

About Eddie

Eddie is your local mailman! And if he isn't delivering newspapers or letters, he helps Howdy out on the farm. He just looooves the animals there. He's quite clumsy and gullible, sure, but he has the potential to be the best friend you could ever ask for. His favorite spot to hang out in is the community area of the village. A big guy, who is (not so) secretly an even bigger softie.

About Frank & Eddie's relationship

Now, both of them are obviously gay. For each other. A LOT. Eddie is super chill and open about his feelings towards Frank and likes to flirt with him whenever he gets the chance. Or he flatters him with small gestures like giving his hand a smol kiss, when they meet.

Now here's the thing: Everyone knows that Frank is gay. Except for Frank himself. He's just way too stubborn and proud to admit to himself that he's fallen in love with Eddie. Thus he hasn't even figured out he's gay yet. But: He still gets this fuzzy feeling and red cheeks when Eddie's around. Frank still gets flustered and worked up, when Eddie gives him a compliment. Which annoys Frank to no end, because he cannot figure out why he's feeling the way he does. But Eddie is blissfully unbothered by this, knowing exactly what's going on with Frank. So he keeps up his flirting and patiently waits for Frank to come out of his shell.

TLDR: Shenanigans ensue. In a comical way. And yes, they'll become a couple later on. ;)

About Sally

Sally is an aspiring musician and poet, hoping to swoon the world one day. She can often be found just lounging around in scenic spots, strumming away on her guitar or banjo and humming these sweet, sweet tunes. She is a dreamer and more easygoing character, who adores poetry and duets with her friends.

About Julie

Julie is the local florist in the village. She knows every single flower by name, considering she can speak to them. She likes to help her friends to tend to their gardens and keeps the flowers in the community area in check together with Frank. She is a very chipper gal, who enjoys quality time with others which may or may not involve taking them on little adventures outside of the village.

About Barnaby

Barns is still Wally's best friend and tells his jokes like there's no tomorrow! But the Funny Business isn't his only one! He usually helps Howdy with herding, when Eddie isn't available or does all sorts of odd jobs throughout the whole village. His friends and neighbors appreciate him for his helpful and relaxed nature. When anyone got a problem, he usually calms them down by already having a good solution and offering to help. The only downside? They'll have to endure his petrifying puns all the while!

[millenari]

do you have any tips about getting started in bootleg trading? i'm very new to it and don't know where to start 🥺 thank you so much

Sure! One, read this whole guide. That guide is where I started; it doesn't cover *everything* & is a touch outdated but it's a great source that a lot of people jump off of.

Two, make an account on encora. The above guide mentions encora but only briefly and its link is outdated. Encora is a site that's basically just a big archive/list of all most known bootlegs & a place for people to list what boots they own (+their contact info) so traders can email each other and, well... trade. (A lot of people won't trade with anyone who doesn't have an encora account.) You'll start listing your collected boots there, once you get some.

Three, receive gifts. The above guide also touches on this; you can search sites like tumblr for 'bootleg gifts' or something like that to find freebies traders hand out publicly, to start building your collection. I'd also recommend searching for traders on encora who mention in their bios that they're willing to gift to new traders, and contact them asking for a video or a couple audios from their collection. (Most people will only gift 1 video or 2 audios at once, though I've seen gifting policies that go up to 4 videos/8 audios. I suggest asking only for one video from each person unless they state they're willing to give more. Also- don't ask for gifts from people who specifically say they're closed to gifting. & don't ask for anything marked NFT/not for trade. You'll get blocked).

Receiving gift boots is the only way to start building a collection (besides finding a trader who sells their boots and buying a bunch off of them, which I wouldn't... recommend) so most traders are willing to gift a boot or two; they started out the same way, after all. I've asked for plenty of gifts (as well as initiated plenty of trades with only a very small collection), and I can name only two times anyone (very politely!) declined to gift/trade with me over the past year. The vast majority of traders are all very nice and very generous.

Be sure to let people know that you're new when you contact them, though. Something along the lines of 'Hi, I was wondering if you'd be willing to trade/gift these recordings: [insert list of desired boot(s) here]. I'm new to trading so I don't have much, but here is a link to my encora collection [insert link here]. Thank you, etc' works perfectly fine.

Though: I don't remember if the guide mentions this, but it's worth saying: a lot of traders conduct several trades a day, so its worth being concise and polite. Be sure to list show/tour/date/master at least for each boot in your email when you ask someone to gift/trade, (ex: Cats - West End - January 23 1993 - Unknown) so you don't have to go back and forth clarifying what exactly you'd like, and don't email someone with just 'send me your most popular video' or 'send me something people will like' as lots of traders will consider that a waste of time. If a trader has rules on their encora bio or external trading page (usually a weebly site or a google drive doc that is linked to in their encora bio) then read them and make sure you're not breaking any of their rules.

(And also: be polite, don't demand things, be sure to thank people when they help you and give you recordings. People will block you if you're demanding or rude. On that thought- also note that for many people, trades will take place over several days; traders can take up to ten(ish) days to respond to an email and that's normal, don't go beating down anyone's door demanding a response a day after you email them.)

But yes, following people's rules, being polite & concise, and informing traders that you're new to the community will get you through the early stages of building a collection. It's a real pain in the beginning, but you get there eventually.

Also. I don't know if you're following me or just stumbled upon one of my posts anon, but if you're a Cats fan I highly recommend trading in additional shows other than Cats, even if Cats is all you're interested in. Many traders don't give a shit about Cats or Cats boots. (cries single tear)

And last piece of advice: ask me for a gift! Here's my collection on google drive (note my email and a link to my encora profile at the top right). Excluding the recordings that say 'limited trade' or 'LT' in the 'Notes' column, I'd be perfectly happy to gift a couple boots, especially to a new trader; if I have something you'd like, email me!

[fungirl-apk]

JJK CHARACTERS AS SCAM ARTISTS. (JUJUTSU SCAMMERVERSE.) (PT.1)

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(a series dedicated to Jujutsu kaisen characters and what type of scammers they would be. (Keep in mind this is just a joke - slander if you will. Lmao. )

-> PART 2(toji)

TW// dusty!satoru, scammer!satoru, dustmite!gojo, mentions of scammer!geto, crackfic

1K+ words

(if you have eczema , asthma, or a cold, reading this fic featuring dusty gojo and (a very little, but still dusty) geto will make you cough, wheeze, hack, and sneeze. read at your own risk.)

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SATORU GOJO - THE MONARCH SCAMMER.

-SATORU is definitely the "over-the-phone" foreign country emperor-type scammer. The kind of scammer who chooses gullible females (such as elderly women,) or vulnerable women (such as lonely widows,) on purpose - he's no misogynist, but he finds women easier to manipulate cash out of (partially due to his good looks and silver-tongue). Besides, what woman can resist a handsome ""emperor"" from a foreign country? with a foreign accent?

-SATORU would definitely be the type to carefully plan out his responses/behaviors before manipulating his victims for cash - he'd purposefully distance himself away from his victim for days, but not before saying things like: "I'm broke", "I have no job", then arrive with a half-assed apology 3 days later, "oh- sorry! was busy working, lol :p"

-SATORU would obviously not be stupid enough to contradict himself, By accident that is. He knows what he's doing, he's just making it seem like he's hiding something... Hiding the fact he's the quote "emperor from some rich foreign country".

He realizes he could never just say that though, so instead, he'd leave little traps for his victim to pick up on, hints, and clues, that'll eventually all add up and corroborate his story. 

-SATORU's entire goal from start to finish would be to push the theory without explicitly saying it. The more distance between you two, the more suspicious you will get.

the more desperate for an answer you feel as he pushes you away? This is how he lures you in, although you'll never realize it until the end. 

-SATORU would only strike when he knows he's destroyed your morale. When you inevitably lower your standards for an explanation as to why he's been "traveling in and out of Japan", desperate for anything, you'll accept his outlandish confession of being a

"foreign imperial monarch, emperor of the south who has 8 Bugatti's and 5 exotic albino peacock-tigers and an 89 figure bank account".

And regardless of whether you truly believe it or not, you accept it. Because you're just desperate for his company and tired of feeling neglected.

-SATORU would use his previous absence to further push the theory if you still weren't convinced enough. "Yeah, the reason I missed your birthday was because I was helping the local Duke of the North. I got injured, so I was in the hospital". he wasn't.

"remember when I said I couldn't be there for your promotion party? The guards of the south needed my assistance on the day of the party, so I traveled to Japan to help them.". He didn't. 

"That picture of me on the airplane was me traveling to my kingdom". He literally snuck onto that plane without a ticket...

-SATORU is smart, smart enough to know you probably would begin to doubt his fictitious empire and his tenuous adventures about "large boats made out of porcelain with golden jewels, exotic albino caviar, and white pearls" in Bali, Indonesia.

So, to further sell the dream - he sends in cash or expensive gifts now and then as the final nail in the coffin. To some inexperienced scammers, it just looks stupid, considering he's supposed to be the one receiving money, "counterproductive" they say.

 But Satoru just scoffs and writes them off as "amateurs". He doesn't see it as ""CoUnTeRpROduCtive"" He sees it as an investment, a down payment, or to put it more accurately, a security deposit for the future.

"It isn't guaranteed you will get back the same treatment in dividends from the person you choose to pour all this unnecessary money into..."

Nanamin often remarks. But again, Satoru just scoffs. Nanamin just doesn't understand the psychological genius behind a true mastermind such as THE gojo Satoru, king of the con artists. Some say he's arrogant, but he'd just say he's confident in his abilities as a scam artist. 

what comes around goes around, and he's gonna get his money back one way or another. it's just his good karma.

-SATORU's best friend, confidant, and partner in crime, geto, comments that if any regular person were to describe Gojo, they would say he's an absolute despicable excuse of a human being.

If any of his victims were to describe him, they'd say he was a learning experience and their first real heartbreak.

If an advanced scammer were to describe Satoru, they would say he is a genius but arrogant hustler in a world full of flim-flam cowards,

a true fraudster in the flesh. Most scammers who've heard the tales of Satoru Gojo assume he's worked his way up to the top all by his lonesome, brewing his own methods of mind games and manipulation processes resulting in successful licks among women internationally.

But, geto would just chalk it all up to him being born into a very corporate family. 

One that happens to scam their customers out of new and expensive phones every 6 months for minimal features but 6000x times the price. it's worth it though, because you get 50kb more space. :>

-SATORU would never let another man in your life. not in jealousy - but in greed. He's had men in the past attempt to distance his victims away from him in either pursuit of a romantic relationship, or because they're trying to play fraudster as well, While he's still trying to play HIS tricks.

you can guarantee no matter who it is - Satoru takes it as a sign of blatant disrespect if another scammer attempts to try and get in the way of his bag 

So, he makes an example out of them, which is the number 1 reason why Satoru Gojo became the most notorious figure in the Con-artistry community.

 IF a man somehow reaches the god-like proportions Satoru Gojo has achieved in the world of the jujutsu scammer-verse, he'd just have to knock him down to size.

He can't have another shyster challenging his authority. If the JJK scammer verse is the Wild Wild West, there isn't enough room in this town for both of them.

-SATORU in the world of scammers would be the kingpin, the best, the inspiration, the moment, and the blueprint for other scammers in the jujutsu scammer verse.

and he's a dust storm heading toward all the women. ladies, pack your bags, skip town, and lock your doors, it's sneezin' season - and beware of the Toji dust blizzard following right behind

-> PART 2(toji)

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ATTENTION ALL READERSSS, THIS IS MY FIRST FANFIC. I SINCERELY APOLOGIZE IF ITS POPOCACA BUT REMEMBER IT'S JUST A JOKE FOR YOUR PERSONAL ENTERTAINMENT

BUT IF MY FANFIC ERADICATED ANY FORM OF ENTERTAINMENT FEEL FREE TO CRITIQUE ME!!!!!!

(also, here's a quick yuji fanart I created LOL)

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