#if i seem much more verbose it's because i needed to write this on my laptop which makes typing and more importantly yapping even *easier*

[shalom-iamcominghome]

I've been doing a lot of reflection as of late, especially after this past class.

This past class was about the Torah and Tanakh in general, and the way the rabbi talked about the commandments (specifically the ten commandments) has made me really reflect on how I interpret them, specifically the fifth commandment, or honoring your mother and father.

This is a commandment I have wrestled with for a long time - in fact, it brought me away from g-d at multiple times. I was severely abused when I was incredibly young by my mother, and I used to feel insulted at the implication that I were to honor her while she got to live a better life. It was hypocritical, in my eyes.

But this rabbi surmised that this particular commandment was because parenthood is an act of creation, something that is like the g-d from which we come from. My realization is this: I don't think we're necessarily meant to take even these commandments literally.

I this particular commandment is more of a call to honor creation - creation is a gift, and like any gift, many people simply will not like it and will discard it. The person who abused me created me, but she did not honor creation. She didn't honor me, but I can still honor it.

I have started to honor creation much more. I'm too young, too unstable, not mature enough to be a father (though I fantasize about it), but I create all the time. I create relationships, I create with my hands through crochet. I create memories, I create my world. And I can honor who I am and where I came from that made me who I am. I've been learning one of the mother tongues of my family (Italian, since part of my family originates there) and it was judaism that inspired me to do this.

I don't think g-d wants me to honor my abuser. I think He wants me to remember the Holy action of creation. When I am a father, that act of creation will be Holy, and indeed, I am already joyful about the thought.

I have seen many people struggle with this particular commandment, but I think this perspective helps me personally. I don't think I ever have to forgive my abusers (plural), and I don't think I am commanded to simply because they happened to be family. I am commanded to recognize the holy, to elevate the mundane. In doing so, I will remember g-d. Through creation, I honor g-d and everything he has done for us, for me, and for our collective people.

[weenwrites]

*Crawls out of the sewers to make a request*

Yoo! Hope you're having a good day, make sure to drink lots of water!

As for the request, would do you mind doing a romance pining headcanons Transformers Prime Bumbleee and Optimus Prime (separately, of course) for a human charge? The bots would develop a crush on the reader, and how would they're pining be-? Most of their time pining, he human charge would be oblivious to their advances (if there are any) and would just brush it off as them being friendly? Despote the human charge having mutual feelings for the bot as well.

Apologies for my bad english, and I'm not really good at describing stuff, so pardon if it seemed weird or something-

Anyways, thank you for your time!

A/N: Your english is great! I think you were able to communicate your idea just fine.

[ Please do not repost, plagiarize, or use my writing for AI! Translating my work with proper credit is acceptable, but please ask first! ]

Optimus

It's not that he's afraid of expressing his true feelings to you, it's that he's hesitant on whether he should. You already have such a massive target painted on your back just by being under his watch, to start dating you would raise the stakes higher than you'd ever know. Of course that isn't to mention whether he'd have the time and energy to be your partner.

Yes, he sees you every day because you're his charge, but if you were to make your relationship romantic, he would need to be present and available in your life outside of decepticon-related issues. He is uncertain whether he has the time to, though he understands that he has a capable team who are well willing to break their own backs just to give him some time off, he doesn't want them to go to such lengths.

So while there's no verbal confession right away, or for any time soon, he's much more talkative with you and attentive to your every need—not overly so, but enough that it's noticeable. And however you spend patrols with him—whether it be listening to music as you drive, or just sitting in silence—words are what fill the silence as you meander down the road.

At times he'd dream about life with you, and in those dreams the war is the least of his concerns. In those dreams he thinks about how he could make his schedule align with yours, he thinks about how you might enjoy this one activity, or this one place on Cybertron. And at times he finds bits of his dreams even seeping into his waking thoughts as he finds himself wondering about your well-being on a day you're elsewhere.

Bumblebee

Surprisingly it's rather difficult to tell that he likes you because he's already so friendly towards you, but it's not inherently impossible if you can read the signs. Firstly, he's a lot more expressive around you—and while that may be surprising to hear given the fact he's already a very expressive person, I mean "more expressive" as in he seems even more enthusiastic and happy around you (even more than either of you knew was possible).

You can see it in the way he tries to keep you around, and the way that he admires stares at you for a bit longer than is considered acceptable by your societal norms. Especially whenever you go out on patrol with him, it almost feels like the seat belt around you is hugging you in a way, but you could also pass that off as he's just trying to make sure you're nice and secure.

His confession is very shy, yet there's something so endearing when it comes to seeing him offer you a hand-made Valentine's day card. The cover of the card is simple, yet the inside is what really stands out to you the most. The inside details his feelings for you—not in any showy or verbose way, but in a few straightforward and simple sentences. Yet each word is teeming with his unexpressed adoration for you, and his hesitance barely conceals the fear of your rejection, and yet he's still brave enough to look at you as if to ask "well, what do you say?"

[1eos]

I got the purple reader too! I hadn't thought about my taste like that honestly. Though I think the book recs didn't seem to interest me necessarily. (Or well, I just donnnt like Murakami :/ ) Do you have any book recs that you think would also suit this kinda style?

i thought i was being snooty when i wasn't vibing with any of the book recs but everyone else was like 'damn these recs are ASS'. like i saw ishiguro's never let me go on there and honest to god scrolled back up thinking the quiz was for summer reading 😭 and GOD i hateeeee murakami. ppl keep toting him as some kind of revolutionary but every time i try to read his shit its deadass just man making his objectification of women verbose and 'deep' but if only if you're like 17 and have no life experience idk.

but YES i do have some purple reader recs! the description focused on books being dream-like, innovative, pushing the envelope or being experimental so i'd say:

in the dream house by carmen maria machado - a memoir but packaged in a way that's more like a domestic horror short story anthology about how abuse escalates in a relationship is akin to a haunting in a way. not easy to explain but it's SO good and carmen maria machado just has a very dream-like way of writing

ring shout by p djeli clark - one of the most unique books ive read concept wise. its an alternate historical supernatural novel where in the mid 1900s the kkk is actually like a demonic clan and these black hunters are tasked with taking them out. and omg the main character has this recurring nightmare and there's a major reveal abt that and it's stayed with me FOREVER

a tale for the time being by ruth ozeki - the book that got me back into writing. ruth's a writer and lives on an island and finds a lunchbox on the beach that has the journal of a japanese girl named nao who is being bullied in school and wants to chronicle why she's gonna kill herself. and it's such a long lasting story abt not hope per se but the infinite amount of growth and resilience of the human spirit and how buddhism is the wave basically lol

the nine lives of rose napolitano by donna frietas - i've never encountered a book that focused on alternate timelines without being heavy into scifi like this one. the book starts with rose on the fritz with her husband bc she's never wanted a baby but he's now pressuring her to have one and from this one confrontation it explores all the different ways her life can splinter and it's so interesting bc it doesn't go the cliche 'this is the life where im happy with a baby and here's a life where i'm miserable without one' it truly explores the deeper aspects of her marriage and how rose can find contentment no matter what. i really liked it at the end

jungian symbolism in astrology by alice o howell - i never know if ppl ever check out my astro book recs BUT this one is SO purple book coded. its abt astrology but you don;t need to know much because she doesn't talk abt methods but rather breaking down the meaning of astrology symbols. and it's not in a classic format its written like letters from the author to a dear friend. AND it goes beyond the basic astrology shit and really breaks down the importance of symbols and connects astrology to carl jung's ideas and it was such an interesting read that changed how i look at a lot of things

the night guest by hildur knutsdottir - a short but bold psychological horror. idunn realizes she's been sleepwalking and things happen. this is very dream like and very cold. very sparse. in a good way. a lot of american horror writers overwrite so this one was interesting in that it was more bare bones. the ending and the the reality of the horror is left really open ended and on goodreads a lot of ppl didnt like that but i fawking loved it

there's no such thing as an easy job by kikuko tsumura - follows the main character as she goes thru 5 different jobs after getting burnt out and the pitfalls of each job as means of 'escaping' the jobs that cause burn out if that makes sense. all of the 5 jobs are pretty unconventional and the main character accepts that even tho these jobs are 'easier' than her old job there's always just something that makes even an easy job complicated.

the secret lives of color by kassia st. clair - this is a nonfiction book about colors! like literally how we got the names for colors how we got them etc etc. i read it a long time ago but i remember that it was formatted really uniquely and written well

room by emma donoghue - read this for my humanities lit class in college a while ago but i never forgot it because i don't think i've ever read a book from the pov of a child in this kind of situation. basically jack's 5 and he's lived in a single room his entire life with his mom bc theyve been held captive by this weird ass old man. and the whole book you're like okay the mom's actions are kinda weird what's going on and then the reality of the situation sinks in and it's like...oh! all from the pov of a child that literally has only ever existed in a single room

[isat-script-project]

i know this is a weird thing to ask but are there any dialogue lines that use both of siffrin's pronoun sets? when i'm talking about someone with multiple pronoun sets i try not to use the same one too much and sometimes i feel like i'm overcompensating

Gosh, i swear there is, but I can't find anything offhand, and it's sadly not something I can just search for.

There's not a lot of scenes with Siffrin referred to in the third person to begin with, what with them being the protagonist and all.

My best find and guesses under the cut~ Act 5 spoilers yay

So i got THIS from the act 5 clocktower scene, because i just have this image of isabeau specifically mixing things up pronouns wise.

And from what I can observe of this scene as a whole, it seems pronouns are switched up per sentence, pretty consistently. (don't take this for gospel, mind you.)

I've seen some different things across fanfics. Most common (I think) are either as this scene does, varying per sentence, or, if you're talking about Writing in particular, per paragraph.

Honestly, you don't really need to be all that anxious talking about people with multiple pronouns. Even on the wiki, I'll only change some around if the entire section only uses one pronoun set (specifically if it's he/him, because, well, if someone only uses he/him for siffrin, it's kinda clear they see sif as "man lite".

The most important thing when talking about others is Clarity. you can only switch up pronouns when it's clear who you're talking about. Particularly with he/they, both of these pronouns have different grammatical constructions, so if you spice it up too much, it can get kind of messy.

Personally, I would avoid switching mid-sentence. If you say something like "He took off their hat", that reads like your subject just stole someone else's hat, yknow?

And if I'm writing something about Siffrin and Loop, then I tend to use he/him for Siffrin more often, because if i switch back and forth between they and he for Sif when I'm also talking about a character who only uses they/them, it'll be unclear whether I mean Sif or Loop. Same flipside, if I talk about Sif and say, Isabeau, I'm more likely to just they/them Siffrin throughout.

If you're talking about a real person in casual conversation, I'd wager your exact ratio matters even less. You can go a whole streak using one set and then switch, or use a different one in different conversations, or what have you. People get it. If you're making an effort, it'll get through. If people also uses neopronouns, I like to use those more often just for practice, and then default back to the "standard" quartet of he/she/it/they when i forget the neo grammar construction and dont have time to google it, lol.

Uhm. Very verbose answer!

TLDR: The game seems to vary per sentence, but exact ratios don't really matter that much as long as you make an effort. Hope this helps!

[storkmuffin]

obligatory 'i'm so glad i found your blog', (definitely not in an insomnia-fueled search attempt to answer some itching questions in my mind about atz members and gender and queereness, nooo way), and i have to say i'm feeling vindicated by how much your reads align with many of mine, but also very intrigued by insights that i never even considered but still Click with me iygwim. i def need to do deeper watches of dancing styles and god DAMN do i wish i understood korean if only for the purpose of analyzing the rap verses more granularly. i'm still very sleep deprived so i will probably come back later with more rantings ravings and ramblings but just needed to shout out.

this is a long story but the thing that turned me on to ATEEZ initially (having heard the name here and there), and hwa specifically, was actually an ASMR vid lol, one that hwa and woo did on Soy ASMR'S channel (as an asmr connoisseur i can't help but stan an asmr king). what made me stay is a longer story but that vid is so dear to me and especially funny in light of the Queer Lego Dom persona bc??? it's basically that but instead he dragged wy who apparently DOESNT EVEN EXPERIENCE ASMR to do a whole video on a channel that HE'S personally a huge fanboy of??? wy takes it in much better stride than hj i will say. anyways that vid is very fun and cute and kind of a more 'unofficial' setting and i do recommend it if you can stomach asmr (if not im sorry)

this was a long and somewhat delirious message and i'm not even done with what i have to say but for now. thanxx (graciassss)

thank you right back! I am always thrilled whenever my verbosity about Ateez brings long form essayists to my blog to write me long messages. Genuinely. Like, I'm SO HAPPY you found me. (And I'm sorry you have insomnia, but I find it highly entertaining that by being my very insomniac hyperverbose analytical ND self on here, my PEOPLE ARE FINDING ME). Pls write more and all the words and tell me about what you think and feel about Ateez. Tell me all your thoughts about Seonghwa. Please.

I have this same aggressive-otaku tendency that Seonghwa keeps exhitibing - when he likes a thing he can't stop talking about it, thinks about it all the time, and HAS TO drag his friends into doing the thing with him - so that makes me very soft for him. Particularly because this is how Park Seonghwa became a kpop artist though he is by no means an obvious candidate (being just a beautiful dancer doesn't get you there you know?). He loved dancing, so he made a dancing crew, and just grabbed at any passing boy in his all boy high school to join it, insisting, and then he dragged them all onto every available stage. And he does all this without apparently needing to be 'the leader' or 'the boss.' Actually, he seems to think that the idea of 'the leader' is sort of campy. In the IOMT behind the scenes content, he makes Al Pacino In The Godfather faces as he explains that 'the boss' of mafias and stuff are always very stressed out, very angry, and swirls his long overcoat for emphasis.

HOW CAN YOU NOT LOVE THIS PERSON?

[generation-of-vipers]

okay a small update on that vent post I made about my friend considering how much you guys seem to be commenting on it LOL uhhh nothing good nothing bad realistically. I think writing that post was really cathartic for me— I really struggle with self expression and sometimes I struggle with the processing of my emotions. I’ve never been very good at it, in spite of all of my typically verbose and sometimes pretentious writings. I can see a pretension in my own writing that I would like to eliminate; but that’s a different tangent.

Back to the topic at hand— after a few days of processing and thinking about the situation and taking into consideration some of y’all’s lovely words— I’ve come to the conclusion that I’ve been beating a dead horse. Which, realistically, is a really hard conclusion to come to— I’m not gonna sit here and say that that shit is easy by any means like my ass went through the 5 stages of grief LMFAOO. Jokes aside, it was probably one of the more difficult things I’ve had to process. But from that I also had another realisation— I’m growing up. I’m breaking the cycle and acknowledging the reality of things and I’m getting away from someone who has psychologically hurt me. It might feel dramatic, me saying that, considering how vague I was in my last post. But there’s simply stuff I won’t share here because as much as she’s hurt me— it’s between her and I, and I’ve never been one for pettiness. I have already disclosed enough about my poor friendship with her, I don’t need to continue disclosing more sensitive information. Regardless of all of that, I think that breaking the cycle is so worth it— worth the mental gymnastics. My frustration has all oozed out and onto the floor beneath me— and now all I ooze is a sense of small loss. But amongst the loss is relief— relief that I wasn’t wrong in how I was feeling, relief that my entire mindset toward this woman wasn’t self pitying— it made me realise how valid I am in my thinking. I don’t say that very often, but it feels real good to say. :)

This post is messy and not very well thought out because I’ve just woken up #fire but I thought I’d update my moots since some of your words really helped me process things so thank you :). Maybe nothing in terms of her changing has come out of this— but I now no longer feel stuck in my rut with her. I now feel like I can touch the top of the hole and pull myself out of it. Also I’m gonna be posting some art later today guysh stay excited 🤤

[satanicspinosaurus]

Seconds

Tags: Bloodweave, Gale’s cooking, blood, cow’s blood, gift giving, fluff, getting together, after a break up, basically two hungry and scared people trying to figure out the world, Gale’s POV, so enjoy all his insecurities, and some verbose writing choices that are intentional, Astarion snark, kissing, ear touching, frankly you can read half of this as a metaphor for sex, author can’t stop you, author thinks it would be a mistake though 

Length: 2k

Rating: Teen

Read on A03: here.

Summary: Gale and Astarion had struck up a friendship after a failed night of romance. Now, with the Netherbrain fight around the corner, Gale finds his heart still aches to give Astarion any scrap of happiness he can offer. This is a story about a man made of failures and hunger, trying to be a good friend. It begins with a steak. And ends with this most delicious second course.

With thanks: To my dear friend @lumienyx, who is frankly encouraging my bullshit at an alarming rate. And to the lovely @tragedybunny who hunted down the typos and errors on this like Tara feasting on pigeons. 

•・・・◉・・・•

Gale rummaged through the spice cabinet of the Inn. He was pleased to see that the cook, who had allowed him to slip her a few gold coins for access and privacy, had managed to craft a solid selection. The sprig rosemary seemed a touch too on the nose, so he grabbed a little bundle of thyme instead- striping it into the butter as the filet sizzled in the cast iron skillet.

It was a delicate process, mainly because he was aiming for as close to rare as humanly possible to achieve. It didn’t give him much time to develop a proper crust, but as Gale spooned the butter back onto the filet, he also pulled from the Weave. Perhaps he asked more than normally would be needed for a simple cantrip. But he needed to infuse all the wonderful things Astarion deserved to taste in it. 

Astarion meandered in a few moments later, when Gale had plated it and was intensely overseeing the food resting as if he could personally will it to perfection. 

The vampire gave a sharp tut after observing the scene, perhaps annoyed his entrance hadn’t been noted. 

“When you said you had a surprise for me to try, darling, I assumed it would be something that would make me interested in swallowing,” the vampire finally said to announce his presence.  

Gale looked up brightly at where the playful swatting came from, a warm smile breaking onto his face. He laid the best knife and fork he could find near the plate and pushed it forward.  

“Ah, trust me my dear friend,” Gale encouraged. “I do believe I have made some acceptable advances since the last time you tried my cooking.” 

That had been back when Astarion was still trying to hide what, and more importantly, who he was. Perhaps it had helped in the long run though. It had taught Gale that Astarion could put a wide variety of things in his mouth and pretend to love it. Later, after sampling a decent red Astarion claimed to be vinegar, Gale had come to the quick conclusion that vampirism negatively affected the culinary practice of taste. 

The idea was tantalizing to him. In part because no bestiary had even half the details he could observe in a single evening around Astarion. But he also hoped to reach past the honeyed words for the real truth. 

He was curious, in particular, about why Astartion still attempted to drink wine. It said something about appetite that felt vaguely nostalgic to Gale. 

But then Tav, who had uncritically eaten up Astarion’s sweet smiles and words at the party, eagerly indulged in their place of origin first. Gale didn't feel hurt that Astarion preferred someone else's straightforward affection over his own questions. The tadpoles had made their timelines risky and fortune favored the bold. 

It was a short thing, in the end though. After one encounter, Tav ultimately found her heart lay more with Karlach’s wholesome sweetness. It was better fit for her than wrestling with the delicate halflies that laid nestled to hide half-truths in Astarion’s heart. If it had hurt him, the vampire hadn’t let on, going back to mulling around the camp with hungry eyes and talking of desires. 

And once again, Gale was left turning over the dozens of little curious details about appetite Astarion occasionally dropped; trying to lay them out and find the bigger picture. Gale had been too confident of his ability to uncover that truth once again. Astarion’s sudden thrust backing onto the dating scene hadn’t struck him as quite so desperate, but a beautiful mystery he alone could solve.

He was grateful his hubris had at least allowed him the chance of friendship with Astarion. Rather than once again stripping him of everything when he inevitably failed. No, he savored the friendship he was allowed. Even if, quietly, his heart still wanted to give Astarion all the beauty his mind could dream of and his hands could weave. 

The food was a meager offering, really, but the wizard was happy to see Astarion shrug and sit down to try it. 

Maybe it wasn’t everything Gale had dreamed of in his books to see a bit of excitement build on the man’s face when he delicately sniffed his offering. He was not worthy of giving a thousand days and nights of little pleasures to anyone, it would seem. But, oh, if his heart didn’t flutter a bit at how Astarion’s eyes widened slightly when he gracefully cut into the steak and a weave-enhanced aroma wafted up. 

Gale had truly grown to enjoy his time spent in friendship with the pale elf. He was a stellar, if not acerbic, conversationalist. And the only other person at camp that enjoyed books beyond bawdy romances. Astarion was a person Gale could imagine being around every day for decades without it ever becoming boring. Well, assuming Gale wouldn’t be left alone because the vampire wandered off to find more interesting company than a stuffy wizard. 

At least for now, sometimes he’d say something clever and elicit a sharp grin. Or he’d make a genuine offer to want to properly introduce Astarion to Tara once this was all over, and something soft would grow on the man’s face before he schooled it away. Hells, even walking around Baldur’s Gate and just commenting on architecture with him made Gale desperate to show Astarion Waterdeep.  

It was clear his dear friend had a taste for the finer things in life, but had been left starved. Gale wanted to lay out a banquet for him, to hear his commentary and innovate until he found satisfaction. It was a beautiful thought for the future, but that was a thing still being written. 

Gale needed to try and take that joy and give it in lump sum, lest the worst happened tomorrow. There were notes in his pack on leads Astarion could begin searching down for help finding a place in the sunlight, that he’d entrust to a messenger soon. A desperate letter to his mother, hoping she would extend the clan’s aid to his dear friend. A few letters of introduction that Gale prayed would be enough to get Astarion a chance to observe rare books at Candlekeep if he so needed.  

In the meantime, Gale had but this moment. Watching Astarion primly take a bite of the filet and chew as if he was a bit out of practice. 

This wasn’t the first time Gale had cooked something special for someone - he had a sophomoric idea of what facial expressions to expect. Like always, Astarion didn’t disappoint though with novelty. There was a strange look on his face; emotions roiling so intensely nothing had a beginning nor end. 

“This is shit,” Astarion eventually hissed. 

Gale offered up open palms, apologetic shoulders, and the broken in, embarrassed smile of a man so used to his reach exceeding his grasp in anything that truly mattered. 

“I’m sorry,” he began. “You don’t have to finish it–” 

Astarion looked him dead in the eye. When he had Gale's full attention, he stabbed the piece of meat like it had been carved from Cazador himself. He brought it to his mouth and bit down. Hard. Hard enough Gale could hear the cutlery screech in protest. 

Astarion was a messy eater- a man of singularly devouring hunger. The blood from the filet trickled down his chin, to his chest, marking him temporarily like Gale’s own source of perverse appetite.

Gale watched him swallow and ruminate. 

“This tastes like goodbye,” the man drawled, eyes pinning Gale to his spot. “I don’t like it.” 

Gale smiled, trying to ignore the first thing and address only the second. 

“Well, sometimes experiments don’t always work out,” he began to affably ramble. “I did believe that a few uses of prestidigitation would help overcome your normally exclusively sanguine diet, but I would still appreciate if you could offer some notes-” 

While Gale had been prattling about cantrips, Astarion had decided to switch from rumination to predation. He had gotten up, head refusing to move as he stalked towards Gale like a cat fixated on a songbird. The vampire pounced, slamming the wizard into the cabinets. All it took was a bold hand wrenching one wrist up above his head and a tongue thrust into his mouth to strip him of his power, his self-image as Gale of Waterdeep. 

Astarion devoured Gale Dekarios’ mouth, eating up the moans his actions elicited.  

After a second or eternity, the poor man wasn’t sure which, Astarion broke away to let Gale pant. 

“I want seconds,” Astarion commanded, his other hand running down a thigh- barely keeping to a space that wouldn’t be scandalous if someone walked in. 

Gale tried to master his fluttering heart, to let it accept air and nourishment so it would stop screaming in his chest almost loud enough that it drowned out the orb. 

“You don’t,” he gasped, licking his lips before trying again. “You said you don’t do seconds.” 

That was one of the first, sharp pieces of truth Astarion had flung at him, after their night of gentle love making had cracked through a mask made to suffer only harsh blows. 

People don’t use me twice, he had lilted in the morning. After he had time to lick the wounds Gale’s gentle praise had inflicted and compose himself back to untouchable beauty. Go find someone you can wake up with a thousand times. 

That was back when Astarion wasn’t sure if he would be free, but Gale was still hopeful a solution was available for his own woes. Now things had changed. 

Gale felt the grip on his wrist tighten. Nails that bit into his skin, fearful that without the contact there would be nothing. It was the touch of a man who had rejected the stolen pleasures of ascending, and now wished to ground himself in freely offered affections. 

“I didn’t want you to die,” Astarion offered quietly as his body screamed in accordance. “But I am realizing now that not dying is second to living.” 

Gale wanted to soothe away the worry on the man's face. To cradle the pressed brow gently and let it entrust all its worries to him. But Astarion held him firm. No matter - Gale always had a clever tongue.

"With the number of threats our group has managed to vanquish in the last tenday alone, I think our odds are very good at succeeding, Astarion."

Astarion laughed, letting go of Gale’s wrist to poke at the site where the orb marked him. “I know this is your back-up plan, Gale. Maybe you’ll blow yourself up if we struggle too much against the Netherbain. Maybe you’ll let Mystra own you to remove it. Or she’ll use it as a threat to bargain against your interest in the Crown. But I am tired of petty tyrants’ wants and demands.” 

“She’s a Goddess, Astarion, it’s not remotely-” Gale tried to interject. 

Astarion didn’t even dignify that with a verbal response. He simply looked at Gale, eyes flickering from where the orb burned him to his own, violently marked neck. Astarion knew what manufactured pain was, appetites unanswered. It was why they spoke so easily, they shared this perverse second language. 

“You deserve a choice too,” Astarion eventually said. 

The first kiss in the kitchen was Astarion’s - passionate and aggressive to hide the tenderness it came from. The second was Gale’s - slow and soft, an adventure that ended with being more daring by the hearth. They weren’t so different. Both had left a man gasping for more, a hand traveling to places to hint at encores. 

Astarion leaned into the way Gale’s fingers gripped his curls, the pad of his thumb ever so slightly brushing against his ear in a way that would barely be considered scandalous if anyone ever came in. 

“What if I wanted to choose a second Mr. Dekarios?” Gale whispered. 

Astarion had a talent for saying one thing, but meaning another. It was intoxicating to Gale. The way he could roll his eyes and bring up a lip in a perfect sneer that to an onlooker signaled disgust embodied, a hint of fang and claws coming out. But oh, if the man wasn’t still tender to the touch- a gentle weight that was as inviting as his words were barbed. A secret laid out only for him to discover.

“Well, you should probably get better at cooking, darling. I have no clue how you plan to catch any self-respecting man in your current situation.” 

His hungry red eyes glanced down to a plate that was empty. 

“I, for one, have standards,” Astarion said softly. 

Gale was a man of great pride. It was tempting to press back, to needle the vampire. Perhaps to bring a thumb to wipe up the blood that was still shining on his neck and watch the man lick it off before calling him on the falsehood. 

But on second thought, Gale also desperately needed to close his eyes and believe in the magic of being allowed this close again. He leaned his brow to Astarion’s to give a kiss to the naked skin he found. Not to soothe away the way the vampire had his eyebrows furrowed in concern of being seen. But as a promise he loved this too and wanted it just as much as every other part of him. 

“I look forward to learning about every single one, no matter how small or obscure,” he promised. “I will ascribe them upon my heart, and treasure each word as a gift.” 

Astarion looked at him, searching for the lie. Gale was granted the privilege of watching his eyes grow soft with the knowledge that the wizard was as sincere as he was loquacious.

Then, he had the thrill of watching a vampire who had recently declared he wanted to start living realize he was ravenous.

And that Gale was the perfect second course for this evening and many more to come. 

︶꒦꒷❤︎꒷꒦︶

Author Notes: Thank you for reading this! As always, I would like to remind you thirsty folks to hydrate a bit if needed. Although I suppose for this fic, maybe encouraging you to get a snack would be more appropriate! 

Please let me know if you enjoyed the pun in the tags. :P 

Hopefully this is the start of a solid writing month for me. I'm going to be aiming to put out something each Monday.

[birthdayquest]

musing aloud about my game

this is more for me than it is for you but here are some stray thoughts:

firstly, progress has been non-existent over the last few months because work has been eating up most of my time. which is fine! i'll have more time in the coming months but i anticipate further progress will probably be slow-going for a couple of reasons.

a good 20%-30% of the game's visuals and design (mostly in terms of location and tilesets and what have you) has been in a state of "i'll get to it later" since i established the scope of the game however long ago. the ideal state of that chunk is something like yume nikki: evocative, aberrant environments that have no real logic to them other than to be rooms that exist. at first i liked this idea because it gave me a lot of creative freedom but that freedom has long since become analysis paralysis. i think i was hoping that some stupendous ideas would come to me if i just waited long enough but now i fear i have to just spit something out and run with it. just something we'll have to endure.

a more self-conscious woe has been a desire to seem verbose in some of the game's storytelling where it honestly doesn't need it. does the weird sci-fi setting NEED to have an elaborate fiction that could very well be a game setting unto itself? in a perfect world, yes! but i feel like at a certain point i should just accept it as set-dressing and move forward.

i do feel like time away served me well. i've done a bit more unrelated writing in the last year or two and i feel much more confident in finishing the game's script now. a good short-term goal would be to make some more rudimentary sprites for the sole purpose of crafting more of the environments in-engine. the sooner i can move around the space and touch things with my weird little guy, the better i'll have a sense of direction to the world. things look good on paper but that doesn't matter if it doesn't actually translate into a video game.

i have not given up on this game and i will not, but it has taken up entirely too much of my time. i'm eager to actually make this thing and release it into the world. i've been able to spare enough creative energies on other projects but this game is a cumbersome lodestone that has been sapping a fair amount of it. here's hoping we make some progress soon.

[starforger]

Ok, could you give us the base details about Seren and her look? I cant seem to find them. Afterwards i could ask some follow up questions

Hey! You have no idea how much I appreciate this. I'll try not to get too verbose.

I'll start with her look. Her hair and eye color were a result of my playing around in a picrew while I was first conceptualizing her character. The lavender hair and the dark grey eyes made for a nice color combination, so it stuck. I added white starburst pupils to her eyes because I noticed every hoyo character has a unique eye pattern that helps them stand out. As for her hairstyle, I knew I wanted her to have short, poofy hair- the rattail was a nice bonus, though I dont remember what initially compelled me to add it.

The rest of her design is meant to be a cyberpunk/street samurai concept that i have been tussling with to this day. I've drawn and redrawn her several times and have a couple comms I got of her to see them in action, but I still feel the need to make changes. This character is dear to me, after all, and I want her to look perfect! I think I'm getting close though.

A brief summation of her backstory is that she was orphaned and homeless somewhere on punklorde, and was eventually found by a galaxy ranger who was a veteran with many hunts under her belt. She took seren in because at the time seren was practically a wild animal seeking scraps and shelter, and she took pity on her. Once seren was older and had leveled out a bit (but not by much), the woman, named annaig, offered seren a place with her in the rangers, and having witnessed much of annaig's work and character, agreed that that would be a suitable life for herself.

So the two traveled as a working pair, delivering justice and such, until the time came for them to confront dr primitive. It was a joint effort with many other rangers, and it ended in disaster. We still don't know the details, so I left this part pretty vague. Annaig gave her life so that seren could have her own, telling her to make her own choices from then on. Seren swore revenge, and escaped with the help of passing ships.

Eventually she ends up on the Luofu, where she meets with the AE, somewhere at the end of the Phantylia arc, and decides to join up with them. She needs to get stronger and learn more about her sworn enemy, and she respects these people. She's worked alongside them and they impressed her with their courage and resolution. Things she wants for herself.

She's been with them since then, maybe only as a temporary passenger, maybe not. I've had fun coming up with little stories about how she interacts with penacony, the luofu, hertas space station, and now amphoreus. She's a joy to write because she has a strong, albeit misguided sense of justice, a short fuse, and lots of pent up energy. I even had her cope with her trauma with 'chuuni' behavior, but I'm thinking of writing that out of her personality since rappas release.

Anyway. Thanks for asking! If you have more questions about anything, I'd be happy to elaborate.

[majorbaby]

20 questions for fic writers

thank you so much for the tag @bornforastorm, i loved reading through yours :3 

i will tag @marley-manson / @rescue-ram / @persianflaw / @leonardcohenofficial / @raywritesthings

1. How many works do you have on Ao3? 14… will be 15 in under 24 hrs ;)

2. What's your total Ao3 word count? 136,971… just over 100K of which were published this year :D 

3. What fandoms do you write for? MASH at the moment, with no end in sight. I have two ideas for twin peaks but not much motivation to write them, let alone the discipline. 

4. What are your top five fics by kudos? if you really wanna know here’s my ao3 and you can you sort by kudos, i don’t wanna link my fics in other fandoms that are almost 7 years old now… pls… 

5. Do you respond to comments? i used to be quite diligent about doing it but when i was publishing near-daily for kinktober i fell behind because i was literally writing every day. i may still go back to respond to them because i like doing it. 

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? the beejhawk sex pollen fic (heavy dubcon warning)

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? i’m realizing that most of traphawk fics are only ‘happy endings’ if you see them as self-contained, which they aren’t really, because even though trapper’s exit isn’t at all relevant, i’m not consciously ‘unwriting’ that. but in-fic probably Goodbye, Farewell and Amen to That because it explicitly states that TrapHawk can handle whatever is thrown at them, which would include whatever happens post-fic. 

8. Do you get hate on fics? for a while i had an anon who submitted vagues about me / my work so like yes, i’ve read a couple vagues seemed they were about my fic but, and i know this sounds like a cop-out but genuinely, i’m kinda flattered by anyone who hates my fic and still manages to read the whole thing and write a public post about how how they didn’t like it? like, what are we??? 

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind? i consider myself primarily a smut writer, only incidentally non-smut writer. i write all kinds and can’t wait to diversify more. 

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written? my dream fic is a specific crossover.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen? yes

12. Have you ever had a fic translated? not recently, but in former fandoms yes. 

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before? sort of. it isn’t published. but maybe soon. 

14. What’s your all time favorite ship? traphawk is the ship to me. some things we should be dramatic about: there’s the traphawk that i write and then there’s the traphawk that i live, which only my irl trapper understands 

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will? now that i have discovered the margaret longfic i really want to write i’ve officially abandoned my 80K canon-compliant margaret WIP

16. What are your writing strengths? i’m disciplined, i want to improve, i take risks, i’m curious, i’m honest and i welcome strong challenges from the people who edit my work.

17. What are your writing weaknesses? i have some barriers (i’m dyslexic and english is my not my first language) but i could still stand to be much more diligent about grammar and punctuation. beyond that, my prose tends to be flowery and verbose and need to be reined in a lot. i’m trying to get better at on my own but it helps that my OG beta, marley, is kind of my stylistic foil lol (hope she doesn’t mind me saying), she trims a lot of the fat from my work and helps me communicate my ideas better. lastly, sometimes i suffer from being really married to an idea that sounded cooler in my head than it does on paper, and i have a really hard time setting it down.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic? i say this as someone who is multilingual - it’s almost never a good idea, especially in fic, if you’re having a main character speak partially in another language for no reason except to note that you, the author, knows that they speak another language. it could maybe make sense for atmosphere, but in that case, just say “they were speaking x language / they said something in x language”. 

i’ll be honest, it annoys me so much that if i see a character in a fic drop a few words in a language other than english and then continue on in english that i will x-out of a fic. there’s got to be some thoughtful in-universe explanation for that e.g. if you’re in Canada, bilingual service agents will say ‘Hello/Bonjour’ to you to indicate that you have an option to speak with them in either language. 

19. First fandom you wrote for? uhhh i honestly don’t remember. i’ve been writing fanfiction since before i was a teenager. first time i published it might’ve been for the legend of zelda. 

20. Favorite fic you’ve written? at the moment it’s cherry bomb! because it was a nice, smutty interlude in traphawk’s relationship and a fic that exists mostly for kink’s sake but still has a distinct vibe, unlike filthysweet which i don’t hate, but imo is unremarkable. CB is 95% style 5% substance and still contains weight somehow. i really hope i can recreate that again. 

[shallowseeker]

SHAL YOU NO LIKE ROBBIE?!

TBH, I don't care as much about the writers. (I know--eternal shame. I'm not even a real fan--kill me now etc.) I just...don't remember things. I always have to remind myself who's doing what. I don't know how half of you keep it all straight AND remember episode titles??? And no, nooooo I like Robbie just fine. Love him, even. He’s in my top choices!!!!

I just consider him something of a specialist, maybe? I'm going off vibes, remember. I feel like Robbie is a long-winded, loveable teddy bear. His writing reminds me of comic books, which could be why it feels so fraught and verbose at times, like it's crammed into a speech bubble...? Idk.

I think a lot of his characters are also a bit...it's hard to put my finger on it, exactly. Wholesome? They're so Loveable (TM) and Dorky (TM). I find it stifling sometimes to stomach all the "pluckiness" at once. It even took me awhile to warm up to his characters in The Winchesters. (Don't hit me! Maybe I just have a bad personality.)

I think you'd want him on your team for sure. He did Goodbye Stranger and other wonderful things like Metatron's speech in Don't Call Me Shurley (which was also belabored at times but greatly helped by Curtis Armstrong)! It's a type of energy I find leaning "too meta," and "too mechanistic" at times. The best example I can think of is There's No Place Like Home. I like it in pieces, but as a whole, it seems a little too self-aware sometimes. But not in a fun Ghostfacers way? It's hard to describe.

I...can't imagine Robbie creating an Alastair or a Uriel, or even a Meg...but maybe I'm forgetting something.

////

Maybe it's Ben Edlund's intellectual(TM) vibe that makes his Sam and Cas more to my liking? Idk. I feel like, since Sam's the only one still alive, getting Sam right would be key to the whole thing hanging together in a sequel. Anyway, I feel like his work in Reading is Fundamental is legitimately Ecclesiastical because he can be more wry/philosophical/satirical. I'm biased--I like philosophy!

He can do entire standalone narrations which are just as “long” but it doesn’t feel so…templated, somehow? It usually just hits better for me, personally. Sometimes he lurches into being too poetic for my liking, too, especially in season 8. But overall, I dig. Meredith can infuse his stuff with some much-needed warmth. It all makes sense in my head!

I think he's at his best when he's being sarcastic and when the action is so fast-paced he doesn't have much time to get stuck doing word-acrobatics. His good guys are conflicted, and his bad guys are really oily. He lets the characters be mean and surly. He can be as deeply fucked up as Sera Gamble when he wants to be (Repo Man????)

////

I can find something I like in most of the writers, even Bucklemming. They have some great devil's advocate lines and political stuff in their scripts, once you comb past the racism, fetishism, and weird pacing.

////

I'm not above keeping Sera Gamble in a cage and letting her out to contribute random, unhinged things. Something is deeply, deeply wrong with her, and that translates well to a good dose of fucky-uppy-ness and incredible pain, which I think Robbie can tend to sleep on a little bit. (Dream a Little Dream of Me, Houses of the Holy?? SO GOOD.)

////

Others? Bobo does some great stuff, but sometimes I find his back-and-forth dialogue to be a little off? I even think something felt off with Cas's speech in Despair as much as I applaud the effort. Steve Yockey does an excellent Rowena.

Also, I'd let Amanda Tapping direct everything. Just because.

////

Mostly, I think they should just hire @angelsdean 🤷  and @jewishtrentcrimm -- I followed them during their live tweeting reactions of The Winchesters and mostly longed for their ideas over what was happening on screen.

////

Most importantly, it’d need a shortform writer in the wings whose job it is to take all the long-winded ppl's excellent monstrosities and chop it to bits and couch it in the right voice with the right amount of prickly subterfuge and defensiveness. A vicious, short-form editor who values brevity and would kill me inside...

Also, we’d need an official meta wrangler, because the meta can start to eat itself and really devolve if you're not careful (I think this is Robbie's Achilles' Heel in some of his stuff; it walks the line reeeeeally close for me in "There's No Place Like Home," for example, but I've come around to "Fan Fiction.")

////

I am...quite happy to be corrected. Knowing who does what well is NOT my specialty.

[comicbookhyperfixationtime]

Uncanny X-Men #195- It Was a Dark and Stormy Night

Last Issue Recap: A routine stakeout on Juggernaut turned nasty when Nimrod showed up and started blasting. He was barely driven off thanks to a clutch move by Rogue, but the X-men's decision to let Juggey go without a fight has landed them in even hotter water with the public. Meanwhile, Ruskies are scheming and Storm's off in Africa.

This cover is so amazingly dumb and beautiful and I love it. Like, its literally Wolverine about to murder a child. Everyone's expression is gold. Of course its a fakeout, Wolverine isn't going to murder a child this issue, but I'll be damned if its not effective at grabbing my attention. I vaguely recognize these kids from a Thor comic from the same era they should up in but I'll be damned if I remember a thing about them. I guess Marvel was pushing them really hard at the time. Edit: after doing some research I have discovered the Power Pack was actually created by one of the Marvel comics editors, which explains a lot about their seeming omnipresence.

The opening narration gives a brief summation of who these little rascals are (they are called Power Pack, a quartet of siblings who were given powers by a dying alien Green Lantern style) which explains them I guess but also doesn't explain them at all.

We see the Power Pack in bed with their parents, awoken by the sound of thunder. Because, its a Dark and Stormy Night, get it? What a waste of a good title, why would you name an X-men story "It Was a Dark and Stormy Night" when Storm isn't even there?! A great pun, flushed down the drain.

I think the following dialogue is a good example of Claremont's limits as I writer. Even though I can tell he's trying to simplify his style for kids, this dialogue is still quite longwinded and a bit too verbose. Of course, struggling to write convincing child dialogue isn't a Claremont specific problem, I don't recall Power Pack sounding any more natural in the Thor comic they showed up in. But in the Thor comic, the characters I actually cared about showed up pretty quickly. We spend the first third of this comic with these kids as the only focus, so the awkward dialogue starts to really grate. Doesn't help that the art on the kids is not so hot, their bodies are sometimes weirdly proportioned, and their faces misshapen. Kids are clearly not John Romita Jr's wheelhouse, although he's a great artist.

The Power Pack realizes their parents and neighbors have forgotten who they are, and what's more, all their possessions have been cleared out like they never existed in the first place! This is an excellent setup that will quickly become an extremely stupid plot hole.

The phonetic accent is... certainly a choice. It's Claremont in the 80s, could be worse I guess. But more importantly, these children call themselves the Power Pack... and their their last name is "Powers"... and they don't even wear masks! Wikipedia tells me they had secret identities, how the heck did they keep that up?!

The kid's parents are about to call the police, so they make a run for it, using their powers to blast a hole through their apartment building and causing massive property damage rather than leaving like normal people, I guess because we needed to establish their powers. This doesn't really help me understand their power sets at all, though. Also their personalities are pretty much interchangeable, except for perhaps the youngest, so no matter how many times they repeat each other's names I'm not going to remember them. Best I can gather, the youngest girl absorbs (matter? energy?) to make things explode, the brown haired boy turns into mist, the older girl has Canonball powers but with the pansexual flag, and the oldest boy does gravity manipulation?

The children decide that this series of unfortunate events must be the doing of Annalee, a Morlock who'd previously attempted to forcefully adopted them, with the help of another Morlock with memory manipulation powers. You might say to yourself, "but Fix, this makes no sense because if the Morlocks could access the Powers' house and steal all their stuff why wouldn't they have just kidnapped the kids as well?" You would be right! Unfortunately, so are the kids.

The kids decide to confront the Morlock's themselves, rather than try to find help in the city where literally every other person is either a superhero or related to them, which does seem like the sort of idiotic action a child would take.

The X-men, Spiderman, Cloak and Dagger and Thor?! Jesus, these kids must know everyone in the MC(omics)U! Hell, give them a few more issues and they may meet Jesus too!

The kids enter the sewers, quipping the whole time. Actually, they've been quipping throughout the entire issue; never let it be said that a mood-killing sarcastic comment in a Marvel Movie is not comics accurate. They're confronted by the Morlocks who (unsurprisingly) overpower them quickly. Only the youngest, Katie, escapes, but not before being disfigured by one of Morlocks, Masque, who has plastic surgery powers. The damage to her face is hidden from us and from the way Masque's fingers stick to Katie's flesh in a previous panel like it's hot play-dough, it must be pretty nasty. I kind of enjoyed the brief body horror here, its definitely an interesting idea, I want to see Masque again used to her full potential.

Exactly my reaction if some stranger approached me talking like that.

We finally cut to the X-Mansion and Kitty having her morning breakfast/midnight snack, where its revealed she apparently does some work for the Power Pack's father. Not sure if she's a student assistant or an intern or what have you, especially since she's supposed to be a highschooler, but it doesn't matter because this will never come up again!

She living my life fr fr. Love the little detail of the milk missing the bowl.

We finally get a reveal for what Masque did to Katie's face and I'm going to be honest it really doesn't look that bad. Nowhere near as horrifying as Kitty's mullet.

Kitty and some of the other of the X-men rescue Katie. Not Nightcrawler, though "he's on another mission." Boooooo. I might as well just stop reading. Unfortunately, my completionist tendencies urge me onward, although I expect the next issue to be a totally Nightcrawler-centric or I'm going to write a letter to the editor.

Rachel recaps the first half of the issue via telepathy for the X-men, who vow to help the little tyke.

No she's fucking not, she was literally introduced kidnapping torturing and attempting to rape Angel! I seriously don't get how the X-men manage to gloss over that in all of her subsequent appearances, or why she's ever written as remotely sympathetic (aside from the fact Claremont wants to get stepped on). I'd put her on par with Mastermind for deplorable levels.

Kitty is unanimously elected Team Leader. You got to love a team of people so dysfunctional that the teenager is their current most competent member. This does explain why the best boy has been so unceremoniously left out this week, as Nightcrawler probably wouldn't enact a plan as boneheaded as "rush head-on into Morlock territory with one of the children you're trying to rescue. I can't blame her, though, she is literally a child.

We get a cute little character moment where Wolverine comforts and bonds with a scared Katie that I kind of mentally glossed over because I don't care. It's not that it's poorly written or anything (although it is longwinded), its just I'm really not invested in these kids we never met and their emotional struggles I've been introduced to five minutes ago. I just want to get to the part where people punch each other already.

And get to the punching we shall! The X-men find the room where Annalee is keeping the children, and their stuff.

Average College Dorm Experience.

To the X-men's shock and horror, the Morlocks have mutated the other Powers' children to be slightly uglier as well! They've also brainwashed them to think Annalee is their real mother. Again, why this couldn't have been done when they snuck into their house to steal all their furniture, I don't know.

The X-men start brawling with the brainwashed kids, plus a menagerie of Morlocks. Rogue is kicking ass but gets whammied by Leech, who whammies himself in the process. I'm really enjoying the creative scenarios that Rogues' powerset can create. She's definitely the highlight of this issue.

Leech temporarily strips Rogue of her powers, meaning she'll have to take out the Morlocks the old fashioned way, which she does no problem because Rogue is a badass.

Damn, Aang really let himself go.

Meanwhile, for the rest of the team (sans Rachel who just disappears for a couple pages?) the mooks start coming and they don't stop coming, so Kitty Pryde slips off to rescue the kids herself while Wolvie performs gratuitous offscreen violence. She gets Annalee to surrender with a quick "what would your dead children think?" speech, at which point peak femcel Callisto shows up, just in time to be useless.

The plot is resolved, and Annalee finally processes her trauma from her children's death and makes peace with the Power Pack. And then Rachel and her rattail show back up to let the team know they're being summoned to the X-Mansion... by Magneto, for Secret Wars II!

Wait didn't we just have Secret Wars?!

Oh god, we're entering the Age of the Event Comic, aren't we?! There's going to be a new one every year (at least every 12 issues!) and its going to be convoluted and my completionist ass is going to read every single one of them. But not here because I don't want to.

Anyway, this was a waste of an issue. Usually I'm chill with a breather episode, but I don't care about Power Pack and this wasn't really that fun. The X-men weren't given a lot of time to shine, especially Rachel and poor, poor Kurt. Especially since now I'm going to have to speedrun through Secret Wars II real quick just to make sure I'm all caught up on the drama (expect a brief, unhinged review coming soon).

[sinister-faye]

Gamedev update

The good, the bad, and the revelation.

Hello my fellow artists, gamedevs, and other folk who stumbled upon this.

Tldr; I have to stop Armageddon ignition til I have more time and a team, but I have other things I want to release to help me get funds to help with both problems.

Here is the long version:

It's been a spell since the last update. The delays are complex and fairly personal. But the conclusions I've come to on the other side of my chaotic life are going to shape what this solo dev project will ultimately become.

The good

So for the longest time I kept hammering away at my game while having some blinders on. One core belief I held was that I was going to do this all solo. While writing and planning a game that I needed 12 voice actors for at a minimum. (The full weight of that dichotomy crashed over me later, don't worry.) Watching my first in game cutscenes and hearing either a soulless bot spit out the lines, or my own attempts at doing multiple voices, raised some flags in my mind. But I still pressed on. I just needed to work on the game every day.

I also wasn't seeing as much growth in followers with my various blogs or twitter. Sure I made posts. But they seem to blather about nothing and I never have anything other than a screenshots to hype my game.

Life then forced a large break on my time. A month and a half long break that was personal, and a little painful still. This forced break I took helped me see my process and allowed myself to do some introspection on my marketing, presentation, and my goals.

The good news is the game is still gonna happen, and I'm still going to develop it. But...

The bad

Because of this vague event in my life my time is now strained In a way that will prevent me from working on this game enough to make any meaningful progress. And this time constraint won't loosen for at least a year. I want to come back to it. And I have a plan to come back stronger.

During my month long interlude I had some time to think about each thing I could improve on.

1. Better content: guys I'm verbose. And I'm sorry I'm verbose. I really should have been a writer or a philosopher. The accounts I see with the most growth get that growth from .gifs. if I can't sell the idea in a gif I won't post it. Unless it's a bigger how to, or post mortem.

2. Solo development for a game is only good if the game I am making has 1 or less voice actors.

3. Art as a medium is under attack and we need to build groups to make it through. Solo dev only helps a solo person. Team efforts can help teams of people.

4. I talk a lot of talk. Boy do these words I say allude to a lot, without revealing a thing. Even this post assumes that there is a major audience clamoring to hear any small update. I need fans first.

Through all the navel gazing, the most important thing I Learned is that I need to start building a community, but the life event left me a little despondent . Most of my time was spent healing and getting back a good headspace. Now I'm refreshed and ready to use what little free time I have towards making a studio that is a group effort.

The revelation.

During my break I saw the writers strike, I saw the actors strike, I saw rights being pillaged from our livelihoods inch by inch. And I saw people win to get a fairer share. In order to complete Armageddon ignition I'm going to need money to properly pay some voice actors, I want to get more people involved. I finally started a game that I think will see the light of day. But I no longer want to be a hermit about it. And I want a team with more perspectives than my own to help me.

There are too many companies bleeding creative teams dry for "content", there are too many ceo's who look for tools or pipelines that completely remove humans to save a buck for the next quarterly earnings.

My goal has shifted from producing a game as a solo creative to building a company. A group of people who share in the earnings of their product, rather than some white dude who went to Yale and learned that slashing jobs makes the next quarterly earnings look a little better and gamed his own paycheck to give him more money than they ever "saved".

But I don't have the funds now, nor do I want borrowed equity for this thing. If I'm going to build up an organization that is more artistic focused, rather than profit focused. I can't do it on debt that can be leveraged to destroy a queer, story driven studio.

So in order to get a cash flow started I found something that I can do with my much leaner free time. This is going to be an animated project that can, on paper and not just in my head, be developed and maintained by a solo artist.

This time I'm going to release the videos and let the work speak for itself, rather than wax on before it's even done. Once I have some time back I'll try to make a post mortem.

So as far as timelines go. This is going to push back this game indefinitely. But I hope to utilize this time to actually build something that can benefit the game industry. And build a better game in general.

The next blog should be coming with enough detail to sell you on what I have cooking.

See you soon

[thisonesatellite]

H, I, K 💜

Hello lovely, thank you for your ask! 💖💖💖 Here we go!

H. How would you describe your style?

What a great question--- and harder to answer than i thought.

Minimalist, i think is the most apt description. i tend to write in as few words as possible. My polishing process is usually me taking things out and pruning everything down to the necessary words and no more. (A quality that absolutely does not translate to my ask answers, as you can see. Those are all kinds of verbose. 🤣)

Other than that, i guess--- heavily rooted in realism. Yes, even when i build my own worlds. Especially when i build my own worlds. And i don't mean just research, of which i do a lot. For example my dialogue is not only what i think human beings from whichever background would say, i spend a ridiculous amount of time on making sure it's in character for each protagonist, specifically. i find dialogue the most powerful weapon to use for character definition and exposition, and it must ring real and true. (Same ofc goes for the worlds i build, down to "where would they get their power /food /clothes /medical supplies", etc., and for fight scenes, which i endlessly visualize in my head to make sure every weapon and blow lands with the correct hand in the correct place and so on.)

i drive myself nuts over these things. Maybe that's my writing style. Insane with a side of connection and a large helping of plot. 🤣

I. Do you have a guilty pleasure in fic (reading or writing)?

YES. Although i refuse to feel guilty about it. i sometimes write Happy Endings that will rot all your teeth and possibly your brain. Some fics require them. i will on occasion put my main protagonists Through Some Things and then i make up for it by shamelessly piling on saccharine until everyone is in a post-sugar coma.

Same goes for reading. Sometimes i go back to one of my comfort fics and skip to the Good Part and reread just that portion, for Reasons.

Because some days you need the Happy more than others, and that's OK. 💖

K. What's the angstiest idea you've ever come up with?

Ooooooooooooh--- good question! First and foremost i have to say that i am not really an angst writer. My characters frequently go through some Things (as mentioned earlier), and i seem to have my own special brand of fluffy darkness, but i have an odd relationship with angsty fics. i don't like angst for angst's sake. i personally don't like it when characters get put through the wringer just to see the damage. i need angst to be rooted in realism (ah, there's the realism again), and i need the reason for the angst to be plausible--- within the character arc and within the world of a story. Well-executed angst, however, is freaking catnip.

My angstiest idea is actually a fic called everybody knows, and it's the last fic i wrote for my first fandom. In it the main character is a con artist, who loses control of his own con and develops Feelings for his mark, and of course that cannot go well. There's some brutal reckoning once the jig is up, and some painful rebuilding of trust, but there is also the most epically flufferific happy ending that has ever been candy coated and dipped in sugar. (Along with countless plot twists and a bunch of action because apparently i cannot help myself. 🤣)

.

OK. Whew. That was probably more than you bargained for, but apparently i cannot answer things briefly.

THANK YOU SO MUCH for these questions! 💕💕💕

[cheralith]

hellooo!!!

ok let me preface by saying that i've been rabidly feeding on your fics (especially the oliver one with the first kiss debacle UGHHHHH it was so AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA) for the last three weeks, and i first noticed your blog thanks to the prequel chapter of the 345 roommates series.

the latest chapter with otoya was so cute. i like all charcterizations of otoya (some more than others), but the idea of making him a trust fund baby that lowkey highkey wants his family dead is definitely new and original and i mean that in the best way possible🥹🥹 it gives his character so much more body to work with and it helps better explain some of his personality attributes c:

i'm not gonna lie, i have a question to ask and i know that most fic writers find it hard to answer but how did you learn to write so fluidly!! like, i imagine writing like painting in that each word and sentence is a colour stroke that's placed in order to complete and compliment the other strokes, and imo yours are so smooth without being too verbose (ergo, not too many complex sentences with an eff ton of verbs!!!), and that's exactly what i struggle with 🫠. do you practice a lot? are you an avid reader, or do you have several years' worth of trial and error under your belt? :0

so sorry if you feel like i'm bombarding you with these questions!! it's just that reading your fics has made me want to contribute more to the bllk community because i've barely written for it despite being in the fandom for over two years now hehe.

byebyee and have a good one (^0^)/

hello dearest nonnie!! never apologize for asks/comments like these, reading your thoughts and answering questions will never not be one of my greatest pleasures in life <3

that oliver fic was the result watching too many romcoms in the span of a week, and it was so fun to write so thank you for enjoying it! im very glad to have you on my blog and im so overjoyed to hear you've been liking my content <3

otoyas one of those characters that dont get a lot of light in canon, but it's good bc it means i can toy with them all i want with little complaints haha :D i aspired give him a more thorough grounding of his character for this series rather than just ride off of his laidback womanizer trope that you may see often (tho i eat that version of him up as well!), so it's great to hear that you like my variation of him <3 i plan to venture far with it

in regards to your question, if there's one struggle we both share, nonnie, it's overwording, but what i find that helps is when editing, search out for sentences or parts of sentences that may be replicative of a prior one or just seem to hard to tangle out on the first read if u view it from a reader's pov (beta readers are great for this). there's also nothing wrong with shorter and briefer sentences either that get straight to the point—don't try and overcomplicate a sentence if you think it's not needed.

i'm a lot better with dialogue, so i struggled and still struggle with inner monologues, but one thing i find to be helpful is to just imagine you're talking to yourself through that character, like a therapy session lol. reading or consuming media in general very much helps; use it to pluck out specific tropes/styles/bits of writing you like and weave your own creativity into it.

i've been writing fanfiction since i was eleven so yes, years of practice def have built themselves up, but experience can't start until you do. what i think is best for you to do is just do what i do and spit out whatever comes to mind. it doesn't have to be long, just sharing your thoughts, but that's what got my ball rolling for bllk and other fandoms. you can even use that as writing practice, complexifying your thoughts to be more in-depth.

by no means do i think i'm a great writer, as i just write on impulse most of the time hahaha, but i hope these helped somewhat! my inbox/msgs are always open if you'd like to talk to me directly to help you get started, i look forward to seeing what you have in store for blue lock! <3

[two-birds-alone-together]

Helloooooo! #1 and #28 please!

Thank you, dear!

1. Describe your journey this year in three words

Hmmmm.... let's see.

Verbose; diverse; obsessive.

28. A song that relates to one of your creations

GIRL. It's me. The vast majority of my fics are, at the very least, titled after songs.

Just checked--of the 70(!!??) fics I've posted, 63 of them have lyrics for titles)

Alright, let's see... I'll go with the letter writing type, which was inspired by "If I Wrote You" by Dar Williams.

I've been a Dar Williams fan since "The Beauty of the Rain" was featured on Alias. She's in heavy rotation (along with Sara Bareilles and Damien Rice) in my daily music.

"If I Wrote You" inspired me both from several perspectives. I'm... not always great at expressing why so some of it is vibe based. Breakdown below.

Tess:

"I never thought you were the letter writing type" and "You always surprised me" scream Tess to me. They know each other after so long, but there are so many things -- intimate things -- they don't know about each other.

Also, "if I wrote you, you would know me and you would not write me again" strikes me as very Tess because I think it's clear from her argument with Joel at the State House that she is, or at least percieves herself to be, more invested in him than he is in her. I think she's keenly aware that if she were to reveal too much about herself (especially her past), it would close Joel off completely.

I never thought you were the letter writing type Now I see the words you chose, the way you write So I started to write back about the trees and the snow And I saw a bird, couldn't say what it was But I thought you'd know, you always surprised me And if I wrote you, if I wrote you You would know me and you would not write me again

Ellie:

"It's like how you got the night you told me all your dreams" reminds me of sheep ranches on the moon, as well as it wasn't time that did it.

"You knew was the truth was the only way out" seems very Ellie-and-Joel-at-St.-Mary's-in-TLOU 2.

And when the spring came and flooded all the streams It's like how you got the night you told me all your dreams And when the barn roof sagged after an icy bout It's like how you shrugged when you knew The truth was the only way out, but not the only way And if I wrote you, if I wrote you You would know me and you would not write me again

Joel:

"We drew our arms around the bastard sons" reminds me of Joel and Ellie on the road, developing their relationship.

"We never would drink to the chosen ones" makes me think of how Joel sees Ellie as a person, not just a means for a cure.

"The way I left was not the way I planned" Uhhhhh I think this one is self explanatory.

"I'm so happy, I had to tell you / And I love you, and you will not write me again" reminds me of the porch and how much hope Joel must have had at that moment.

We drew our arms around the bastard sons We never would drink to the chosen ones Well you know the way I left was not the way I planned But I thought the world needed love and a steady hand So I'm steady now And I'm so happy, I had to tell you And I love you, and you will not write me again You will not write me again You will not write me again.

(two-birds-alone-together: the definitive fic title collection is on spotify!)

Send me some Artist and Fic Writer EOY Asks!