#if i left any messages unanswered the last couple days

[switchytransboy]

the hurt and betrayal and lack of closure just cutting off an 8 year friendship, no phone call that we had scheduled & my phone number blocked, leaves behind is such shit. and the reason??? makes it so much more fucked.

[bunnliix]

Somebody I used to Know

I wrote this a couple weeks ago when I was feeling angsty, so this is not a reflection of my mood today, since I got Stray Kids tickets! But, have some angst with this fic because this fic hurts/

Pairing: Chan x reader Summary: You realize the distance between you and Chan, and think about your friendship with the idol. wc: 2.6k Genre: Angst Warnings: Angst (it's really angsty y'all), hurt/no comfort, reader being sad, crying, anxiety, reader having a really rough time here, panicking on the side of Felix and Chan, yelling I think, this is just really sad and we got no happy ending. Nets: @mirohs-aurora-society Beta'd by the lovely @palindrome969

It had taken you a while to realize just how distant you and Chris had become. You had been friends with him for years, even before he had left for Seoul to pursue being an idol. Despite the long distance between the two of you, your friendship had remained strong, both of you finding time to maintain it and spend time with each other.

Now, you had realized that more and more time passed between the times you would talk with him. It made sense, Chan had gotten busier as time had passed, Stray Kids shooting up in popularity. But it had really been in the last year that he had messaged you less and less. You had to message him first most of the time nowadays, and even then, the likelihood of getting a response quickly, or at all, wasn’t great. You felt like you found out more about what he was up to via social media, than from Christopher himself. You were used to hearing every little thing that happened, both for himself personally, and for his group. You didn’t quite know when that stopped, but it had, and that feeling and realization hurt. You had been one of his closest friends for years, and now you felt that he was an acquaintance, almost a stranger to you.

And now here you sit, in a hotel in Seoul, having planned a trip to see him and the others. Felix had helped you plan this trip, seeing as you hadn’t gotten a chance to see Chan in a couple years now, due to busy social and work lives. You were grateful to the other Aussie, but now as you sat here to unanswered texts from either man, you felt that maybe this trip had been stupid. You figured Felix would make sure that there was time for you two to meet, but you guessed he forgot, even as close as two days ago, when you checked in for the final time before flying here. 

You laid back on the bed, when your phone buzzed and when you pulled it up to your face, you saw it was a message from Chris.

‘Sorry, I can’t talk now. Can we talk later?’

You sighed, feeling tears well in your eyes as you responded, ‘That’s fine. Talk to you later Chris.’

You wallowed in your sadness for a while, losing track of time while you let yourself drown in the silence of the hotel room. You didn’t know what to do now. Felix still hadn’t answered you, and it’s not like you had ever gotten any of the other’s numbers. Sure, you could go to JYPE and try to see him there, but you didn’t think your chances of even getting in would be good. That left you with a trip to Seoul where you now had nothing to do.

After another hour of laying there, you decided to get up, decided to go and explore the city. Because why not? You should at least use your time here wisely, and despite being friends, you had never travelled to or explored Seoul before.

You decided to wander, letting yourself be guided wherever your feet took you, finding yourself walking down side streets filled with little shops and buying whatever caught your eye. You spent the majority of the daytime that remained like this, just finding the little family run shops and cheering yourself up by buying things that made you happy. 

When you returned to the hotel later that evening, having had dinner and carrying multiple bags, you also found yourself getting a message from Felix.

‘Sorry! I was busy today, the group had rehearsals for our concerts in a couple days. Also, there will be a ticket for you, for the concert in two days. You’ll also have backstage access after the concert ends.’ The message said, along with the location of the concert.

Well, you guessed this will be your chance to see Chris then, even if it was just at a concert. You moved to drop your bags on the table in the room, moving to figure out a suitable outfit for a concert. You found more than a couple options, leaving them laid out to ask Felix his thoughts on them later, figuring the idol might have some opinions.

(linebreak)

You looked up at the arena hosting the concert, finding yourself among thousands of your friend’s fans, and somehow seeing the pickets of him and those dressed up like him only made you feel sadder, not happier. You had been effectively ignored by Chris, the man not having messaged you. And that shouldn’t have surprised you, but it did make standing here today even harder. You no longer felt like a friend, you felt like one of their fans. And no hatred to their fans, they’re wonderful people, but you hated being reduced to coming to a concert for a chance to even see him, let alone talk to him. 

You found a staff member, and asked them for directions to where Felix had told you to go, to retrieve your ticket and anything else you needed. You were quickly directed to where you needed to go, finding one of their managers and after proving you were who you said you were, you were then ushered to the line up with the rest of those who had won the battle for floor tickets. You didn’t really care if you were at the front, and found yourself towards the middle of the line. Though this didn’t stay that way for long, finding yourself pulled by a staff member to your rightful place, at least as far as the number on your wristband told you.

Because you had arrived late, and maybe to the displeasure of those around you, you didn’t have to wait too long before you were let into the stadium. You found yourself right against the barrier, despite your wish not to be that close. But here you were, and within a half an hour, the group your friend led was walking out onto the stage for soundcheck.

You watched as they waved at all of their fans, and you guessed you were now included in that category, and you noticed that Felix saw you, smiling and waving at you, which you returned, though you knew your smile was strained. You could see how the blonde wished he could say hello, but this was not the time nor the place, and he was quickly swept back into the group to start the soundcheck rehearsal for the fans. You watched as they performed song after song, and interacted with their fans in between.

Somehow Chris never walked by your side of the stage, though almost every other member had. You instead watched him as he interacted with the crowd of fans, saw the genuine smile on his face as he did, remembering a time when you got those smiles too. You felt tears well in your eyes, and you quickly tried to blink them away, and just as you wished hadn’t happened, Felix walked by and saw the tears in your eyes before you could hide them. You know he saw them, his eyebrows furrowing in concern and worry, but before he could do anything, he was grabbed by Hyunjin, who dragged him away.

You just stared at the stage for the rest of the soundcheck, which thankfully only lasted for another fifteen minutes. You didn’t quite know what to feel anymore, all of your feelings hitting you at once. You moved towards the back of the area you were at, letting others take your spot at the barricade. You didn’t want to be up close anymore, you fear you would sob if you were there the entire time. And being at the back allowed you to stay away from the view of either Aussie idol when it came time for the actual show to start.

(linebreak)

“Y/n’s here tonight,” Felix said, as he sat down next to Chan.

“What? She’s here?” Chan said, confused. How was she here at the concert, let alone in South Korea? He didn’t know she was supposed to be here, and she should have told him that she was here.

Felix nodded, “Yeah, she’s out in the crowd. She looked like she was going to cry at one point,” he said, both to himself and to Chan, a bit confused at Chan’s reactions. Felix had told the older Aussie that his friend was coming to Korea to see him. How could he have forgotten? He remembered it clear as day, he told the older man while he had been in the studio with 3racha.

“Oh,” Chan said, not sure what to say. He didn’t really know what to do with that. Maybe she was just emotional to finally be able to see him performing? To his knowledge, she had never gotten the chance to see him or the group as a whole perform live.

Before Felix could say anything more, their manager stuck his head into the green room, interrupting anything the blonde was going to say, “Guys, five minutes till show time, let’s go.”

Felix lost any chance of saying anything further, as the group of eight men walked out to start their concert.

The start of the actual concert came very quickly, and you watched as they all came out, their energy insanely high, and even as your emotions swirled within you, and the realizations of what your choices were, you felt yourself be absorbed into that energy as well.

You were merely an observer within the thousands of fans, feeling like you were on the outside of it all. You watched every interaction Chan had with fans, and though you knew it wasn’t the same, you realized that his happiness here was more than you had ever received in recent times. He seemed lively, happy, enjoying life, and as the concert continued, you realized that you no longer had a place in his life.

You realized that no amount of effort you could put into this friendship would make it work. Chan had stopped putting the effort in, and maybe it was time for you to do the same. Taking one long look at your friend on stage, seeing him looking over towards you, though you doubt he even saw you, you saw him smiling and happy, and that was the best way you could think to remember him. You only ever wanted him to be happy, and maybe his happiness didn’t include you anymore. 

Feeling a tear trail down your cheek, you turned and started walking away from the floor, and walking away from your shot at talking to Christopher. You knew that you could have taken the chance to talk to Chris and figure all of this out, but would it really do anything with how much the friendship had died already? 

You silently walked out of the stadium, a clear contrast to all the happy and excited fans who filled the stadium. You had located one of their managers, who had been alerted to your presence, by their recognition of you, and returned the lanyard that would have granted you backstage access. You told them, when asked, that you weren’t feeling well, and that you were returning to your hotel.

It took a while to get back to your hotel room, and instead of changing, you just crawled into the bed and laid there, zoning out and staring up at the ceiling as tears fell down your cheeks. You didn’t know how long you laid there, until your phone started buzzing like crazy, and you found that both Felix and Chan were messaging you. You numbly read through their messages, and as you took a couple deep breaths, you created a group chat for the three of you. 

You first thanked Felix for doing his best to get you and Chan the opportunity to meet up again and hang out. Because you were thankful. He had been helping you do this, as well as informing Chan about it, all while being busy himself. You even thanked him for the concert ticket, and that you were grateful to see them live, just once. As you kept typing, messages from the two came flooding in, each one more concerned than the last. When Felix stopped typing, you think he must have come to one of two conclusions, either you were ending the friendship, or doing something worse than that.

‘Christopher, I will always cherish our memories together, the decade long friendship that we shared. But I think we’re on different paths now, I think fate has said that our journey ends here. So with a heavy heart, I wish you all the best, and I’ll always love you, even though we won’t get to talk anymore. Goodbye Chris.’’

You left the group chat after that, not seeing any of the responses from either idol, and while it took you a moment to push yourself to do it, you deleted both of their numbers. Setting your phone down and ignoring the buzzing, you pulled your laptop out, deciding to cut your trip short, and rebooking your flight to leave midday tomorrow. You knew that as much as you’d like to stay here longer, if you wanted to avoid contact with your now ex-friend, it would be better to leave.

You then moved to pack up your things, not that you had many to begin with, as well as laying out your comfiest outfit for the morning, and packing away the outfit you had on currently. But not before taking one last selfie in it, so you could look back on this day, as sad as it would be.

You had arrived at the airport a couple hours early, having checked out of your hotel room early, knowing Felix had known what hotel you were in, and hoping to avoid that interaction. Thankfully the check-in process was quick, seeing as you were there much earlier than others would be, and it was just under 30 minutes before you were making your way over to security. You were in line waiting to enter security when you heard someone call out your name. You turned your head to find Chan, a hat and mask on, but neither hid his eyes, his eyes that were red and bloodshot as he stared right at you.

“Please! Talk to me!” Chan begged you, standing on the other side of the barrier that separated the two of you.

You couldn’t find it in yourself to muster up the words to respond to him. You knew this was the coward’s way out, but you just turned around and moved into security all while he kept calling out to you, his cries getting more desperate.

You went through security, knowing that he was still on the other side hoping that you’d turn around and come back out. But you couldn’t.

Instead, once you passed through security, you opened up your phone to send him one more text.

‘I’m sorry it had to end like this, Chris. I’m truly sorry. I’m a coward who can’t muster up the words to explain why, but this is better for both of us. I won’t have to worry if you really still want to be friends or if I still have a place in your life, and you can forget about me and continue making your fans happy.’

You knew you could absolutely be the villain in this story, and you were okay being that. No matter what, you couldn’t hurt him. Chris was too good for you to ever do that. You turned your notifications off as you put your phone in your pocket, heading to your gate, and leaving this all behind.

Taglist: @bethelighthalazia

[cherryblossom-heart]

Do I still wish it was you?

Satoru Gojo x Reader 

Masterlist (If you're into marvel)

Summary: You were content in the darkness his absence had left you, his memory keeping you focused on one plan. It had to be a white-haired sorcerer with an annoying personality and the bluest eyes you had ever seen—the one who came and saved you from it.

12.7 k words

Content warning: ANGST, mentions of suicide, depression, violence, grief, past Toji x Reader, foul language, +18 SMUT, MINORS DO NOT INTERACT, rough sex, unprotected sex (wrap it y’all). fluff, Satoru is the sweet, jumping from a building but not a bad way, fighting, fReader

A/N: Ik this is out of my usual content but I can't get over the JJK men so, I hope you guy's like it. You're welcomed to send me an ask with any comments, questions, etc., you have on this. 😊

Sweat covered your forehead as you fought to recover your breath, the smell of sex and humanity filled his bedroom along with the sound of heavy breathing. It took a couple of minutes for you to finally stand from the bed, making your way to the bathroom, not bothering to cover up.

You saw your reflection in the mirror. Naked, disheveled hair, flushed skin along with droplets of sweat, and a minor bruise on your collarbone, the result of a certain white haired sorcerer’s lack of restraint. A small smile placed on your lips before you could stop it as you touched it, the skin still a little tender.

Your sight landed on the small tattoo you had on the left side of your chest, a small black lined heliotrope carefully placed on top of your heart. A prickling sensation invaded your eyes along with the painful sensation of guilt, what were you even doing here? How could you smile when he was gone?

The feelings didn’t get a chance of nesting in you though, as firm hands wrapped around waist and lips caressed your neck. Your sight darted to the mirror, meeting the most breath taking blue eyes you had ever seen along with a smile.

“If you don’t get any clothes on, I might have to fuck you again.”

You smiled at him, desire igniting again as he’s hands caressed your skin.

“Is that supposed to be a threat?”

A cocky smirk showed up on his face, not that it was unusual to see it. Satoru Gojo was nothing but confident, sometimes overstepping to egocentric, but you would be damned if you didn’t admit he had good reasons for it.

His lips brushed your ear, hot breath hitting your skin.

“It’s a promise that I very much intent to fulfill.”

Satoru Gojo was going to be the death of you.

Correction, Satoru Gojo was going to be the reason you would live.

You hadn’t planned for this. You had a set plan: to become a sorceress, completing missions, breaking curses, and fighting battles, one after another. A non stop cycle of violence and war until your body gave out and if death came for you, it wouldn’t bother you. You would receive it as a long awaited friend as nothing mattered to you anymore, never since the day he died.

He was supposed to meet you back at your apartment in Kyoto, he had promised you he would be there. You waited for hours, and hours turned into days and days turned into weeks.

The last thing you heard him was a couple of text messages that read:

Job’s almost done. Maybe we should take 

a vacation, go to Las Vegas and stay at 

one of those casino/hotels you were talking

about. 11:13 pm

Anyway, I’ll see you in two days. I’ve

missed you. 11:14 pm

He vanished without a trace after that.

You moved to Tokyo as you were tracing his last steps. You had talked to Kong, who could not give you any answers. Years of dead ends and unanswered questions finally led you to give up. That day, you drank yourself to sleep.

Everyone was sure he had left you behind, taken his payment for his last job, and left the country. You couldn’t blame them, it was on brand for him to do something alike, but this wasn’t the case. You knew he wouldn’t do that to you, not when he promised he would see you.

There was also this strange feeling that had settled on your chest the day after his text. It had taken you by surprise as you were just having lunch and suddenly a sharp pain hit you in the chest and the sensation that something had gone wrong hit you. You had thought it was just stress of not seeing him, maybe a little of an overreaction from you, but as time passed, the emptiness in your chest never left.

He was dead.

After over a year of wandering aimlessly in Tokyo, a certain blue-eyed sorcerer found you. You felt his stare while you were getting your coffee, the burning sensation of a powerful presence followed you around the streets of the city. You pretended you were oblivious to it, changing your path every once in a while to double check you were being tailed.

Once the amount of people around you dissipated, you made your way to a bench in the park, sitting in it so calmly it almost seemed everything was normal for your follower. That was until you looked to the buildings on your left, your eyes connecting with a white-haired man with blackened Windsor glasses. For a second he looked surprised, as it was almost impossible that you could’ve sensed him, but a playful smiled replaced it as soon as it came.

It took him less that 60 seconds to come to approach, you crossed your legs once you felt a presence taking the remaining space in the bench you had sat on. Even when you didn’t look at him, you could still feel that cocky smile on him.

“How did you know I was following you?” He questioned, his arms spreading along the back of the bench as he made himself comfortable.

You took a sip of your coffee. “I could feel you.” You said, nonchalantly. Imitating him, you leaned back. “How did you get here so fast?”

“I teleported.” He shrugged.

“Huh, interesting.”

“You don’t seem surprised at all.” He turned around to look at you.

“Why would seeing a Jujutsu Sorcerer surprise me?” you asked, now facing him.

The air in your lungs almost disappeared as you found two blue eyes peaking over his glasses, it was almost as if they could see inside your soul. The shiny speckles that seemed to dance around his iris called you, entrancing you into looking at them longer.

Was that his power? Who was this man and why was he stalking you?

“So you know about Jujutsu Society?”

“What does it matter to you?” You barked, your harsh tone only making him smile more. “Who the fuck are you, and why the fuck are you following me?”

He lifted his hands. “Woah there princess, I don’t mean any harm, I promise.” He extended his right hand to you. “I’m Satoru Gojo. The strongest sorcerer in the world.” He winked as you shook his hand.

You rolled your eyes the pet name and his ego. “Sure you are.”

At the moment you didn’t believe him, thinking he was just an over confident asshole that was just pushing your buttons. Looking back, it made you chuckle at how wrong you were.

He laughed, amused at your response. “You really are something else, aren’t you?”

“Why don’t you just tell me what do you want?” You huff, already exasperated by him.

Blue eyes locked on you as he leaned forward. “Why don’t you tell me about that special grade knife you keep in that purse?”

Your pulse picked up, the feeling of your heart smashing against your ribcage so hard you felt it would burst out. You couldn’t let him take it, he gave it to you. Perhaps you were too obvious with your worries though, as his eyes traveled to the tight grip you had suddenly imposed on your bag.

“Don’t worry, I’m not taking it away.” He reassured you. “I was assigned to take it, but now you’ve captured my attention. I have a hunch you’re much more interesting than that old piece of steel.”

You had found yourself entangled in the world of Jujutsu, at least more than you already were.

He had told you about the sorcerer world, the clans, the sorcerers, the customs, the curses, and everything that came along with that. You had known you had abilities to see things no one else seemed to notice, abilities to get rid of the monsters that crawled all over the world that you had perfected on your own, but you were never sure what to call them or what to call yourself.

Not until a black-haired man with green eyes and a purple worm surrounding him bumped you in the street. A man whose name you couldn’t even mutter without breaking down.

Now you had joined the same world he despised and worked alongside the same people he hated. The sorcerer world had found your abilities useful, at least for the time being, and they had decided, with some pressure from Satoru, that you could be a good addition to their dwelling numbers.

You didn’t like working for them; you didn’t want to do it for a long time, but you had thought it was a good way to just let go and prepare yourself for death. A jujutsu sorcerer's life span was never long; sooner than later they would find their demise. Sure, you could just kill yourself; it would probably be way faster, but if there was an afterlife and you found him there, he would be disappointed in you. Besides, it reminded you of him; he had helped you be as strong as you currently were.

So you fought, day and night; you took whatever they had; there was no small or too big of a curse for you to take. Everything seemed fine for a while; you were content with how things were for a week, until Satoru decided to intervene.

An annoying little prick—that’s what you usually describe him as. His interest in you hadn’t dwindled even after you agreed to join him; it even seemed to have made things worse. He pestered you, following you around with a cocky attitude and bad jokes, forcing you to go with him to places just so he could buy desserts. He got in the way with your missions, babysitting you in as many as he could.

The thing that annoyed you the most was the fact that he was always looking at you, not in a weird, sexual kind of way that you could’ve handled, but he did it in a way that it felt he was trying to look into your soul. Even if you couldn’t see his eyes behind the black pair of glasses, you could still feel the burn of his stare on your skin. It felt as if he wanted to know all your secrets, and for the same reason you tried to stay away from him, but the more you tried to do it, the more he seemed to put an effort into crushing it.

Satoru Gojo was the bane of your existence.

“I told you it was a good idea to get this peach daifuku for the way home.” He said, mouth full of food. “Want one?”

“Sure.” You muttered, snatching it out of his hand.

This was the third time in a week he had decided to come with you for a mission, your patience running thin the more time you spent with the white-haired sorcerer. You had done your job without any hiccups, and the worst part about it was that it seemed he wasn’t even there to intervene if anything did happen, evidently by his relaxed stance along with his arms crossing his chest.

That could only mean that he was tasked with babysitting you or he had actively chosen to follow you everywhere, and you didn’t know which one was worse.

“Hey, Gojo...” you started, unsure on how to make your point. “You don’t have to babysit me, you know that, right? I think I’ve shown you I’m capable enough of doing this.”

“That’s not why I’m here.” He answered, lazily stretching his arms along the subway seats.

“Then why are you here?” You questioned, slapping away the arm that was on your side.

“Cause I like keeping you company.”

Cocky blue eyes met yours, except this time they weren’t all cocky; they were sincere. They looked at you with precaution, gaging your reaction towards his words as if they were almost afraid to scare you away.

You didn’t give an answer to his words, opting instead for eating your snack in silence. Maybe it was worse that he had been babysitting you; if that had been the case, you wouldn’t have had a small smile on your face.

A knock on your door woke you from your impromptu nap; the banging was so loud it reverberated throughout the house. You looked at your watch and noticed that it was only 7 p.m., but that didn't make it any better; whoever it was, you wanted to kill them.

With angry footsteps you made your way to the door, not caring that it looked like you had just woken up.

"What?!" You yelled, flinging the door open.

Your sight was flooded with snacks and movies before revealing Satoru, his glasses slightly tilted down as he looked at your clothes.

"Nice outfit." He winked.

Suddenly you realized that the only thing you were wearing was a gray sweater, barely big enough to cover your thighs. You pulled the sweater down, warmth infiltrating your face.

"Why are you here?"

"Movie night." He said simply, pushing his way into your apartment.

Once he was in the living room, his eyes scanned his surroundings, which in turn made you a little too aware that your apartment was too empty, almost as if no one lived there.

"I don't remember inviting you." You pinched the bridge of your nose, sure a migraine was on its way.

"Hey, it's not like you have anything better to do."

After a few seconds of delivery, you grabbed the bag of instant popcorn to make it in your microwave, rolling your eyes at his smile.

Maybe it was because you were too tired to argue with him; having just woken up, your brain wasn't working so well. Maybe it was because you knew it would take less time to go along with his shenanigans than it would to argue with him.

Or maybe, just maybe, you felt lonely. Sure, Satoru wasn't your first choice, but he seemed to want to be there, even when you tried to keep away from him. There was something about his persistence that made you smile, almost like a puppy you couldn't keep away.

If you were honest, he wasn't that bad. In another life, you might have enjoyed his company, maybe even become friends, but you weren't interested in anyone else coming into your life, not with a hole in your chest with a name on it.

But just for one night, you decided to give in.

You sat down next to him and put the bowl of popcorn between you. "So what are we watching?"

"This." He handed you a DVD case with a foreign title on it, Italian, it seemed. “The movie is great; there's a lot of action; the only bummer is the main guy dies.”

You slapped his arm.

"Thanks, dickhead. Way to spoil the movie."

“Don’t be a cry baby; you could’ve guessed it within the first 10 minutes of the movie.”

You scoffed. "You don't know that."

"Sorry, my bad." He raised his hands. "You're acting like I said the main guy's love interest turns out to be working for the bad guys."

"Dude!"

He laughed, the echo of his voice resounding along the walls.

"I can't believe you fell for that."

"Just play the stupid movie."

You ended up watching two more movies that night before you both fell asleep. And in the warmth and comfort of your lonely apartment, it was the first time in a long time that you didn't think of green eyes and black hair before you closed your eyes.

"Ah, come on. You need to give me more details." Satoru complained, walking alongside you.

"I don't have to give you shit."

It had been a few months since that movie night and you had found yourself not completely rejecting Gojo's presence, and on good days, you would say you enjoyed it. You didn't argue as much when he joined you on missions, and you didn't fight him when he wanted you to go with him to get something to eat or to your apartment to watch a movie. It was... a routine of sorts, and you'd be lying if you said you didn't enjoy it at least a little.

"You can't just tell me you have a tattoo and not tell me what or where it is."

"And you'll never know."

He hurried his steps, standing in front of you, but walking backwards. He put his hands together and begged you to answer.

"Please, you must tell me, the secret could kill me. What would you do if the strongest sorcerer in the world died and it's all your fault?"

"I'd probably throw a party." You snorted.

Satoru, the drama queen he always was, put his hands over his heart, a playful 'ouch' escaping his lips.

"You hurt me, Princess. I thought you would be devastated if something happened to me." Gojo pouted, the sight making you chuckle slightly.

"Oh yes, absolutely. I would mourn you for at least ten years." You joked.

"Make it fifteen and I might consider forgiving you." He winked.

You made your way through the busy streets of Tokyo until you found yourselves standing in line for coffee, the cozy environment of the place giving you a sense of warmth.

"If I pay for your drink, will you tell me about your tattoo?" He whispered next to your ear.

The smell of his mouthwash hit your nostrils, the cool mint scent lingering in your mind for a few seconds.

"It's going to take a lot more than a bad cup of coffee for me to tell you this."

He rolled his eyes, arms outstretched in defeat as he wrapped one of them around your shoulders. You shook your shoulder, trying to get him off of you, but he didn't budge. You told yourself that just for once you would allow it.

"How about dinner sometime? Would that be enough for you to tell me?" He said casually.

You turned to him, one eyebrow raised in disbelief, thinking he was joking. Although the way he had said it made you think for a second that it was real and there was another intention behind his invitation. That thought only lasted a second as you found it impossible that he was talking about a date, so you played along.

Your eyes turned back forward as you shrugged. “Depends where you take me. Spend enough money on me and I might give you a hint."

"Oh, you're one of those girls?" He chuckled. "You only go out with someone who takes you to expensive places and showers you with gifts?"

"Well, Gojo... if you want to know all my deepest, darkest secrets, you might as well try a little harder." 

Silence fell upon you, making you think the conversation was over, but a few minutes later he spoke again, surprising you with his words.

"Alright, I'll pick you up tomorrow at eight."

The dim lights of the restaurant made for a more private, intimate atmosphere. Gojo had actually kept his promise, you could tell the restaurant was way over your budget, the cutlery alone seemed to have cost a fortune. The waiter had been very attentive, leading you both to a table at the back of the restaurant and taking your coat to put it away.

Once the two of you were alone, you had assured Satoru that you had only been joking, that you had not really taken his offer seriously.

"Why did you come?" He asked, taking a bite out of the appetizer he had ordered.

"I mean, who am I to turn down free food?"

He chuckled, "And what do you think so far? Worth your time?"

"Ask me after dessert and I'll give you an answer."

Dinner continued with ease, and after a few glasses of wine, you began to laugh at his jokes and make some of your own. You never thought that spending time with Satoru would make you so... happy? You weren't even sure how to describe it, the only thing you knew was that it wasn't horrible.

It was actually quite nice. And for the first time in a long time, you allowed yourself to get to know someone.

You talked about where you grew up, how you got your powers, and about your family. In return, he talked about his clan, how he had mastered his powers and about some of his years at Jujutsu High. You talked about little things, your hobbies, your favorite color and your favorite movies.

Talking with Satoru made you realize that you knew so little about him, even though you had known each other for almost a year. Sure, you knew some little details here and there, but you never went in depth, to you, Satoru was nothing more than a pain in the ass and a pawn of the Jujutsu society. Unfortunately, it seemed that almost everyone else thought the same.

That night, you realized that only a handful of people saw him as Satoru instead of Gojo, the greatest defender in the Jujutsu society. Perhaps that was why, despite his colorful personality, he seemed lonely. He seemed to be missing someone in his life who would see him as something other than the power he was born with. For whatever reason, this thought made your heart ache.

Throughout the night, you found yourself staring at him more than usual, noticing every little detail of his face. You noticed the way his hair sometimes fell over his eyes, the way his smile showed most of his teeth, the wrinkles that appeared at the corners of his eyes when he laughed. You also noticed the tenderness of his eyes, how every so often he looked at you in a way that would make your heart hammer against your chest or the way he would look at your lips every so often and you weren’t sure if he knew you noticed or he just didn’t care.

At the end of the night, you were having trouble deciding which dessert to get, not sure whether to get the cheesecake or the assorted mochi, so he told you to get both.

"I don't believe you, there's no way you don't have hobbies."

He laughed. "I really don't. I'm just too good at everything I do."

You rolled your eyes at him. "And you have the biggest ego I've ever seen in my life."

"Some would call it ego, I call it confidence. And well deserved."

You finished your last mochi, enjoying the last bit of strawberry flavor. As soon as you had taken the last bite, Satoru spoke eagerly.

"So, was this dinner good enough for you to tell me about your tattoo?"

You pretended to hesitate for a second, but you had to hand it to him, he went all out.

"I guess I have to tell you now that you spent so much money on it." You said with a sigh.

"Yes!" He exclaimed, pumping one of his fists in the air.

"Don't get too excited, it's nothing too scandalous." You pulled your cleavage to the side, exposing the left side of your chest.

His eyes locked on the drawing on your skin, heat burning inside you the longer he stared.

"It's a flower?"

You nodded. "It's a heliotrope."

"What does that mean?"

Your voice wavered, your chest tightening. You couldn't talk about it. You didn't want to. But you couldn't show him.

"That's a story for another time."

As much of an asshole as you thought Satoru was, you knew he wasn't an idiot, he understood that you didn't want to talk about it, so he seemed to let it go.

"Alright, that's fair. I got a lot of secrets tonight." He stood up and straightened his black suit. "I'm going to go to the bathroom real quick and then we can go, is that okay?"

"Sure, take your time."

You lost sight of him as he turned the corner and your mind wandered over everything that had happened tonight. You hadn't expected that Satoru would actually buy you dinner and in such a place, and even though you knew that this was just a peasant's change for him, it still surprised you.

You were also surprised by how... human he was. He had surprised you once when he told you about the children he was sponsoring and taking care of, since their parents were nowhere to be found. You didn't get the change to ask for their names, but you were sure you would get another one, you were sure Satoru wasn't done surprising you.

A man called your name and made you look up. 

Shiu Kong stood in front of you, his desvihebeled appearance intact, except for the way he had done his hair, a small attempt to soothe it.

"Kong." You said as you stood up. You shook his hand in greeting, wanting to get this conversation over with before Gojo returned. "What brings you here? Pleasure or business?"

"You know it's always business." He scoffed. His eyes took a double look at your dress before a small grin appeared on his face. "I would ask the same, but it looks like it's all pleasure for you."

"I guess you could call it that." You shrugged nonchalantly.

Neither of you said anything for a second. It wasn't like you were friends, you were barely a step above strangers and the only connection you had was gone. Fortunately, Shiu broke the silence.

"I never expected to see you here." He cleared his throat. "It's good to see you moved on."

Her heart fell to the ground, replaced by a painful sting.

"I... no, it's not like that." You tried to explain, your words stumbling.

Why did you try to justify yourself? This wasn't a date, was it?

"Hey, I'm not asking for explanations." He said. "I'm not judging you, it's been a while since anyone has heard from Toji."

Toji.

His name came back to haunt you as if it was the first day he didn't go home. The pain was excruciating, almost blinding you to the point of passing out. You hadn't heard his name in over a year, you didn't even dare to say it.

That was a date, right? What the hell were you doing going on a date with Satoru Gojo? How could you do that to Toji's memory? How could you be in a restaurant, laughing and enjoying the company of someone who wasn't his? A sorcerer nonetheless?

How could you?

A man in a suit called out to Kong, motioning for him to come over to where he was.

"Anyway, I have to go now. Have a good life, kid."

You barely registered his handshake or when he walked away, all you could do was stand there and try not to collapse. The sudden realization hit you, you hadn’t thought of him throughout this whole night, only at the very end of it.

You had forgotten him.

A hand on your shoulder made you jump, worried blue eyes looking at you through the usual black glasses.

"Are you okay?" Satoru asked, worry lacing his words.

No.

How could you be okay when you forgot him? How could you even do that?

You didn't know what to do, the hole in your chest threatened to swallow you whole. It was what you deserved.

"I-I have to go." You said simply.

With quick movements, you grabbed your purse and made your way to the exit. You didn't care about getting your coat, not when your lungs couldn't breathe, each inhale bringing you closer to suffocation.

The heels you wore hindered your steps, almost causing you to trip twice. With frantic movements, you kicked them off, your bare feet touching the streets of Tokyo as you tried to run from the white-haired sorcerer who kept calling your name.

Calls and texts flooded your phone, finally forcing you to turn it off.

You avoided Satoru after that.

"The wound will heal in no time, but I would still recommend you to take a few days off." Shoko said as she took off her gloves.

"I'll think about it." You said, no real promise behind your words.

Shoko looked at you, studying your face carefully. You knew what she saw, the dark circles, the carelessness of your appearance. But most of all, the pain behind your eyes. Maybe a while ago you would have been careful, trying to hide it so no one could see it, but at this point you didn't really care anymore.

As you rolled your shirt down to cover your torso and the large cut that had been made there, the door burst open, making both of you jump.

Satoru entered the room, taking strong and determined steps towards you, and within seconds he was standing next to you. He lifted your shirt just enough to get a glimpse of the damage the curse had caused, cold fingers poking at the newly healed skin.

It took you a few seconds to snap out of it, but eventually you were aware of how close he was and how exposed you felt.

"What the hell are you doing?" You barked, taking a step away from him and dropping your shirt.

"What the fuck am I doing?" He repeated, an incredulous tone in his words. "What the hell were you thinking? We were supposed to go on this mission together."

You got his text, along with several others telling you to wait for him before going in. Just like the ones you got before, this one was ignored.

"I don't remember asking for a partner."

He scoffed. “You can’t be serious right now? You almost fucking died and you’re mad at me for wanting to go with you.”

"I don't need your help!"

"You do when you've been trying to get yourself killed ever since I met you!" He shouted, his chest heaving with anger as he came closer to you.

"Satoru-" The doctor tried to intervene but Gojo stopped her.

"Stay out of this, Shoko."

"So what if I am?" You said and came closer to him.

"Do you know how fucking crazy this is?" His hands went to his hair and pulled it back in despair. "You've had a bad life? Tough shit, everyone here has been through tough times, you think that makes you special? That somehow that makes it okay for you to say fuck it and act so fucking stupid?"

His words burned deep inside you, you didn't know what he was talking about. He couldn't even imagine how it felt. He knew the effect of his words, but he kept going.

"You want to know why I still go on missions with you? Because of shit like this. Not only will you get yourself killed, but you might end up hurting someone else. Is that what you want? Don't you care about anything but your own selfishness?"

Your eyes began to sting, his face just inches from yours. Blue eyes were once more focused on you, once again searching in your soul. This time though, you could see something in them, a type of pain you didn’t understand. It almost made you back away.

Almost.

"My life is none of your damn business. Drop the 'savior' complex and stay the fuck out of my life." You pushed him away. "We're not friends, I can barely stand you, and I sure as hell don't need you pestering me with whatever this is. Stay. The. Fuck. Away."

His hands became fists and you thought he was going to grab you, maybe even shake you. Instead, he walked away, the only remnant of his presence being the sandalwood scent of his cologne. You stood there for a while, your chest heaving as you tried to fight back the tears.

"He's not wrong, you know?" Shoko spoke, her voice startling you. For a moment, you forgot that she was in the room. "It's pretty obvious that you're trying to get yourself killed."

You thought about arguing with her the same way you had with Gojo, only you didn't have the energy anymore, the weight of everything hit you all at once. You sat back in the chair where you had been examined, your head hanging from your shoulders.

"I don't know what to tell you, Shoko. Life sucks."

She laughed. "Yeah, I'll give you that much." She reached into her pocket and pulled out a pack of cigarettes. She grabbed one before holding her arm out to you. "You want one?"

"Do you have anything stronger?"

"Not today, sorry. Cigarette is the best I can offer."

You took one out and put it between your lips. Shoko lit yours before hers, the smoke filling your lungs immediately. The raw sensation in your throat almost made you forget your pain, a good side effect you more than welcomed.

“I know that Satoru can be a little too much but he means well.“ She paused, trying to find the right words. "We have seen this before with one of our classmates, not exactly the same, but close enough. He was Satoru's best friend."

You were surprised, not once had he ever mentioned it, although you hadn't exactly asked questions about his life, not until this dinner.

"Is he dead?" was the only thing you could think of to ask.

"Oh, no. He's very much alive, he's just..." She took a drag on the cigarette. "I don't think it's my place to tell you this, so let's just say that things have gone very badly for him. So you can understand why he's a little worried about you."

Neither of you said much after that, preferring to smoke in silence. Shoko's words made sense to you, there was always a hint of sadness when Satoru talked about his school days. Even when he smiled and told you about his pranks as a teenager, at the very end of his stories, his eyes would flash with pain, just for a second.

After a few minutes, you finished your cigarette, stubbing it out on the sole of your shoe. You thanked Shoko for her care and for the cigarette as you made your way to the door until she called your name.

"Satoru told me about your dinner and how you avoided him." Heat flushed your cheeks, slightly embarrassed that someone else was aware of your actions. "I like you and I don't know what's going on between you two and it's none of my business, but he's my friend." Her eyes hardened as she spoke. "So don't hurt him or I'll have to hurt you. Don't make me hurt you."

Your eyes widened in surprise for a moment, the look in Shoko's tired eyes replaced by a certainty that sent shivers down your spine.

"I'll try not to."

Rain in Tokyo always seemed to take you by surprise, especially because you always forgot to check the weather before going out. It was something you weren't used to, but every time you were forced to run in the rain, you told yourself you'd remember next time.

With a plastic take-out bag in your hand and your leather purse covering your hair, you ran like hell through the sea of umbrellas. You looked at your watch once you reached the stop sign, sighing at the time.

10:45 a.m.

"Shit." You muttered.

You could still make it, you tried to tell yourself. As soon as the light changed and you were able to cross the street, you took off. The purse you held over your head hindered your movements, so you had decided to just let it hang by your side as you rushed through the streets, making your way back to the school.

After a few instances of almost slipping and a few assholes passing you with their cars and making it their business to splash you with the water pooled next to the sidewalk, you finally arrived, the food still safe in your hand. You reached the building, wet marks leaving a trail behind you, and you checked the time.

10:59 a.m.

Yes.

Finally reaching the classroom you wanted, you stood outside. Voices could still be heard from the inside of the room, relief washing over you as you decided you wait outside. Only you felt the cold sensation of your wet clothes, making you shiver unconsciously.

The door flung open, a group of teenagers stopping in their tracks as soon as they saw you. They looked at you, confused not only to see you there, but at the state of your clothes.

"Uh-" one of them tried to speak, but you cut him off.

“Out. Now.”

With a quick pace, they left. You took a deep breath before venturing inside the room.

Satoru sat on top of a desk at the back of the room, eyes focused on his phone. He seemed to be typing a message, a mask of worry as he seemed to type and delete over and over again. You stayed by the door, words dying on your throat. What were you supposed to say? Should you just say hi and pretend everything is good even though you haven’t spoken in weeks? Or just go right to the point and apologize?

A ding from your phone brought back your attention, as well as Satoru’s. Your eyes widened, feeling as if you had gotten caught somewhere you weren’t supposed to be. You reached for your phone, glad that it was still dry enough to still function.

A small smile formed on your lips.

Greatest Pain in the Ass

Hey, 10:01 a.m.

You looked back at him, a light rose tinge spreading through his cheeks.

“Hi.” You said with a shy smile.

“Why are you soaking wet?” He questioned, eyes scanning your appearance.

“It’s raining outside.”

Satoru rolled his eyes. “You forgot to check the weather again?”

“Perhaps.” You answered, making your way to him. Once you reached the desk he was sitting on, you plopped down, opening the plastic bag you were carrying. You took out two honey lemon cold teas along with a couple of cheesecakes, two crepe rolls, and a package of sour candy.

“What’s this?” He asks as he grabs the tea.

You knew Satoru wasn’t going to be able to resist it, his sweet tooth always coming on top of everything.

“Take it as a peace offering.”

The sorcerer took off his jacket, handing it to you. You considered not taking it, but the shiver down your spine convinced you otherwise.

“Thanks.” You muttered.

In what seemed less than a minute, half the food is gone, the other half barely having a couple of bites. You sit in silence as you keep eating your cheesecake, occasionally sipping your tea.

“I’m sorry, by the way.” You broke the silence, the heaviness in your chest lifting as soon as you said the words.

“Did you just say sorry?” Asked Gojo, too incredulous to your annoyance. You nod, eying him. “You? You said I’m sorry? The rain must be toxic.” You rolled your eyes at him, and in return, he grabbed you by the shoulders, his face filled with fake concern. “It must already be in your brain! No, please don’t die!”

“Alright, asshole. I get it.” You pulled yourself apart, completely annoyed by his antics. You take a sip of your drink; you knew you deserved it. “I really am sorry, though. I’m sorry for leaving you at the restaurant and snapping at you back at Shoko’s.” You looked down to your hands, the feeling of shame creeping up over you. “I guess I’m sorry for being a dickhead in general to you, especially when you’ve been nice to me.”

“Why did you leave that day at the restaurant?”

“I—“ your words were caught on your throat. Should you lie? Tell the truth. Avoid the question? You looked at him, and even without being able to see his eyes, you knew what he was thinking.

Tell the truth.

You took a deep breath. “I used to be with someone, a man older than me, and he was... he was involved in a bad world. He left for one of his jobs, and one day he didn’t come back; he simply disappeared.” You stopped for a second, a knot on your throat almost breaking your voice. “I came here to find him; look for any clues that might tell me what happened to him, but I didn’t find anything, not a single word about him.” A tear took you by surprise when it fell from your left eye. You quickly wiped it, as if that could clear out the pain your heart felt. “The guy that used to be his handler was at the restaurant; we saw each other, and he—“ you scoffed. “He thought we were on a date and that he was glad I moved on. After that, I just couldn’t stay; I felt as if I was betraying his memory, betraying him, and everything was just too much for me. I felt like I was drowning the more I stayed there, so I did the best thing I could; I ran.”

Another tear made its way down your face, but you stopped caring. No matter how hard you tried, the pain of losing him would always be there.

After you finished your explanation, seconds went by without any response, something you attributed to him processing your story, but you weren’t sure. It had always surprised you how volatile Satoru was, sometimes easy to read as a first grade book, and sometimes, like now, where you might as well be reading a forgotten foreign language.

“Is that why you always put yourself at risk?” He finally spoke.

“Yes.” You answered, a tinge of shame crawling up over you. “I had a plan, you know? I was fine dying doing this. I needed it.”

“What changed?”

“You, I guess. It’s very difficult to die when someone keeps getting in the way.” You chuckled to yourself, Satoru, not finding any humor in your words. “I don’t know; one day I woke up and I realized that I didn’t want to die. I also realized I like being here.”

He looked at you, and this time his eyes carried a sadness too big to bear. “Are you still looking for him?” He asked, almost hesitantly.

“No, I know he’s dead.”

“How are you so sure?”

“I just feel it.” You shrugged. “I think I felt it the day he died; there was this painful and heavy sensation that got in my chest, and I couldn’t shake it off.”

“What would you do if you found the people that killed him?”

His question took you by surprise, as you didn’t expect it from him. You had thought about it a couple of times though, on long nights where you missed his presence and the scent was almost gone from his clothes. On nights you wished you had gone to Tokyo with him instead of staying back in Kyoto in your normal life. On nights you wished you could have his touch at least one more time.

“I’d kill them. And I’d make sure they would suffer.”

You both stayed in silence after that. A heaviness in the air had surrounded you, almost as if you had made things worse by telling him the truth. You knew that he wasn’t mad or disgusted by you, but there was a storm of thoughts going through his mind that made you wish you could read minds.

The silence was agonizing, and the longer it kept going, the more your chest would tighten. You wanted to break it any way you could, so you decided to ask a question that had been gnawing at you for weeks.

“Can I ask you something?”

He looked back at you, coming back to reality. “Shoot.”

“Was that supposed to be date?”

He smiled, almost sadly, as he fixed his hair. For some reason you got the feeling he had something more to say to you, but after careful deliberation he gave you a simple answer.

“Only if you want it to be.”

It was up to you.

God, why did he do that?

Was that what you wanted? Your mind was nowhere close to thinking about a relationship with someone else, let alone having a date. There were so many things wrong with you: dead boyfriend, inability to move on, active desire to die, walls so high up they could probably compete with the Great Wall of China. You had an attitude problem, a dangerous job, and you hated people getting too close to you. You were not looking to date.

But.

If you were going to have a date with anyone, the idea of it being Satoru didn’t bother you in the least.

Maybe you even liked it.

“I think I do.” You whispered.

You smiled at him.

He smiled too.

Satoru opened his mouth to say something, but a ding of his phone interrupted him. With annoyance, he unlocked his phone, his fingers typing up a quick response before putting the device back in his pocket.

“C’mon, lets go.” He said as he put together the trash from your snack and threw it in the can.

You downed the rest of your sweet tea, throwing the bottle to the same can and getting it in the first try. Satoru turned around and gave you a thumbs up. You caught up to him with a little stride.

"Where are we going?”

“To your place so you can get changed.”

Right. You were still soaking wet from the rain. Suddenly you were hyperaware of the squeaking sound your boots made and the smaller but still present trail of water you left on your way.

“After that, we have to go to Shinjuku.”

“Alright.”

His arm wrapped around your shoulders, and for the first time since you met him, you didn’t slap his arm away.

“Wait, I have another question.” You said.

“What is it?”

“What did you text me for?”

“…”

“You were going to apologize, weren’t you?”

“I was not.”

"Yes, you were! Man, I should’ve taken longer buying all this shit.”

“Whatever, it doesn’t matter anymore. You apologized first, so I win.”

“Oh, so it was competition now?”

Your voices filled the empty halls of the building, the bickering between you not stopping even when you were on good terms. This time there was something different though, and as laughter began erupting from both of you, you were sure there was no going back to how things were before today.

You liked that thought.

—————

Pink petals fell from the sky, swept away by the chill winds of April. Groups of people were scattered around Ueno Park, admiring the beatty of hundreds of cherry blossom trees along with hanging lanterns that decorated the main path to follow. Conversations, laughter, and music filled the air, and once you walked further into the park, the smell of food reached your nose.

Satorus hand pulled you towards one of the food stands, making both of you wait in line for some croquettes. You looked down at your joined hands, entwined fingers and all, and your heart skipped a beat.

Coming to the Cherry Blossom Festival had been an impromptu plan. Satoru had just texted you to dress up for the night in something you found comfortable enough to walk, and 20 minutes later he had knocked on your door, a blanket on his shoulder and a small basket on hand.

You liked that about him. Most of your dates had been improvised, to a certain extent. It was either him wanting to do something right in the moment or with him barely giving you time, just like when he asked you to pick you up the next day.

He brought spontaneity to your life in a way that made you happy. Satoru brought a lightness with him that you didn’t think a lot of people saw and how you wished everyone could. Maybe then they could see past the confident facade he always seemed to carry, and instead they would find the human, annoying as ever but with a heart the size of the world.

After getting your food, you went to find a place to sit that would allow you to have some privacy. Gojo guided you over a no trespassing sign, and when you expressed your concern, he simply smiled.

“Trust me, we’ll be fine.”

So you followed him until you found a good spot; there he extended the blanket while you put down the basket, making sure to take everything out. Petals fell all around you, and the darkness of the night enveloped you, except for the dim light of the moon and a couple of lanterns.

Everything was perfect.

Then his hand grabbed the side of your face, making you turn to him. He had taken out his glasses so the totality of his blue eyes were exposed. God, they were beautiful. His eyes went from your eyes to your lips, a quick but intense glance. His hand traveled to the back of your head, almost as if they were asking for permission to go forward. You grabbed his arm, your finger giving him a slight caress.

That was all he needed.

He kissed you. He kissed you in a way that made you forget to stop breathing. He kissed you in a way that you felt every single sensation around you, yet the only thing you could focus on was his lips on yours. He kissed you, and you wanted more. You wanted everything.

He kissed you with desperation, like he had wanted this for a long time.

He kissed you, and you tasted his mint toothpaste along with something else you couldn’t place.

You pulled apart to face worried blue eyes, looking for a sign that perhaps you didn’t want that. He thought he might’ve overstepped his boundaries, and you were going to run away again.

You kissed him again to erase his doubts, and you knew it.

He tasted like the future.

Moans filled his bedroom. The squeaking of the bed pushing against the wall made you glad you were at his apartment instead of yours; if anyone had to deal with angry neighbors, let it be him. Satoru hadn’t even let you take off your clothes completely; instead, he had pushed down your underwear and lifted up your skirt, your underwear still hanging from one of your ankles.

Your face was facing a pillow, but you had heard him pull his pants desperately. He was big; he had warned you, but once the tip of his cock had tried to breach your entrance, your confidence in taking him had severely dwindled. He knew what he was doing though, his hands traveling in front of you, finding your clit.

A gasp left your lips, the coldness of his hand surprising you. He drew small, precise circles on it; every time he would hit a certain angle, you could feel yourself getting wetter. He knew what he was doing.

“You’ve been driving me crazy, you know that.” He whispered in your ear.

Electricity traveled all over your body, the anticipation of him finally being inside you driving you crazy.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” You panted, grinding all over his fingers.

You felt his hand smacking your ass. Hard.

He pulled your hair back, your head lifting from the pillow. “Don’t act dumb with me, princess.”

His lips found the right place on your neck, and the sensation of him sucking on it made your knees weak.

“You know this is my favorite skirt.”

Smack.

His fingers never gave you a rest; the longer they kept going, the more the pressure built inside you. Your skin felt on fire; every kiss, every caress, and every smack made you feel like you could almost cum. Satoru had a way of overwhelming your senses; you sometimes wondered if it was a side effect from his six eyes.

He went faster, fingers using your own moisture to slide all over your bundle of nerves. You were so close, your moans getting louder and louder. You wanted it. No, you needed it. You need it like a thirsty man needs water.

“Please.” You begged.

“Please what, princess.”

“D-don’t stop, I’m so close.” You breathed.

So, so close, the coil inside you tightening, ready to snap.

He stopped.

“What the f—“ Your whine was cut short by his cock sliding inside of you.

He did it all at once, not giving you time to adjust. God, he was huge. With one sharp thrust, he was completely inside. You felt a little pain, but the overwhelming amount of pleasure you felt washed it away to the back of your mind when he started thrusting.

“Is that what you wanted?” He asked, his voice gruff as he digged his fingers on your hips.

Smack.

“Answer me, you little slut. You wanted my cock so bad?”

“Y-yes!” You were barely able to say.

Smack.

“You thought you could tease me all night.”

Smack.

“Grind your ass against me.”

Smack.

“Your fucking hand was under my pants while we were in that meeting. You thought that was fucking funny?”

Smack. Smack. Smack.

“Fuck! No!”

His pace was relentless and punishing. He seemed like a wild animal who had just caught his prey. His thrust was too much; you found yourself pulling away from him, but strong hands pushed you back to him.

“Where the fuck do you think you’re going?” He growled. “You wanted it so bad, now you have to take it.” A hand pressed your head against the bed, and you felt his left leg hoping on the bed.

You didn’t think he could reach deeper inside you. Once again, you were proven wrong. You couldn’t last longer, not when you felt the tip of his cock almost hitting against your cervix. Your walls tightened around him, causing him to hiss in pleasure.

“God, this pussy is perfect.”

He buried himself again and again and again until tears rolled down your eyes. He knew you were close.

“You’re going to come all over this cock, princess?”

A pathetic mumble resembling a ‘yes’ escaped your lips. That gave him the signal he needed.

This time his rhythm never stopped; consistent hard, deep, and quick thrusts punished your pussy over and over again. His grip on your ass tightened too; you were sure you would have marks on your skin tomorrow morning. He kept going, faster and faster; you heard moans that left his lips, and you were sure he was also close.

“Come on, baby, come all over this cock.”

That was all you needed to come undone.

He kept going for a couple of thrusts, rhythm gone as the desperation for chasing his high became bigger and bigger. His hands grabbed the sides of your hips, using them to bounce all over his cock. It was almost as if you were his own toy.

He came no long after that.

Both lay in bed, sweat covering your forehead and back as you gasped for air. Satoru was the first to stand up, grabbing a towel from the bathroom to clean himself. You were too tired to move, so the sorcerer took it upon himself to clean you himself. The cloth felt weird against the raw skin of your pussy but the carefulness of his touch made it better.

The towel flew across the room, landing in an unknown location. After picking up the now crumpled-up sheet, he covered both of you with it, his arms bringing you to his chest. The bluest eyes in the world looked at you, admiring every inch of your face as his hand caressed it.

You took the lead this time, reaching to him for a kiss. Your lips touched his, and his lips parted slightly, allowing you to deepen the kiss, his hands burying themselves in your scalp, pushing you in as if the closeness that you had wasn’t enough.

For the first time in a long time, you were happy at night; your heart didn’t ache as you fell asleep in the warmth of his arms.

“God, why the fuck did I listen to you?” You mumbled, dangerously close to the edge of the building.

Tokyo's city lights shone below your feet, the never-ending life of its streets still buzzing no matter how dark the sky was. The altitude you were in made the wind strong enough that you felt you were going to be swept away by it. The jacket you had brought was no match for the wind, your hands clenched on the material as if that would warm you more.

“Because it’s going to be fun.” Satoru said before kissing your cheek.

“Not if I freeze to death.”

Satoru stood next to you, tall, powerful, and beautiful, with his eyes free from the typical dark glasses. Even as you were at the edge of the top of a twenty-nine-story building, he seemed so nonchalant it couldn’t help but annoy you.

How could a man so annoying be so perfect?

How were you so lucky to have found two perfect men in your lifetime?

“You were the one that wanted to try this.” He laughed, a big smile on his face.

“Whatever, let’s just do it.”

His hand extended towards you, waiting for you to grab him back. Your hand went halfway before the corner of your eye caught how tall the building actually was. You had refused to look down for this very reason, but you couldn’t do anything now; your eyes were locked in.

What the fuck were you doing?

Fear settled in the pit of your stomach along with regret, as Satoru was right; you were the one that said you wanted to see how his teleporting worked. When you had asked him what his favorite part of it was, he answered free falling from a building and teleporting back to where he had started. And now, the longer you looked, the dizzier you felt.

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

“I can’t do it. This is fucking insane.” The volume of your voice was an octave higher, but you couldn’t control it.

You began backing away until hands on your face stopped you.

“Hey, it’s ok.” He said calmly. “We don’t have to do this if you don’t want to. We can just go back and do something else.” He waited a moment, trying to see if you would back away, but you didn’t. “If you want to do it, though, you have to trust me; trust that I wouldn’t let anything happen to you.”

He backed away, moving close to the edge. His hand reached out to you once more.

“Do you trust me?”

Your hand finally took his, trembling legs making their way to him.

You took a deep breath. You trusted him, even when your senses told you it was a bad idea. You trusted him even when your survival instinct fought hard to push you away from the edge.

You trusted him.

Wholeheartedly.

Fully.

Unconditionally.

You both jumped.

The rational part of your mind told you it had happened in a matter of seconds; it couldn’t have been more than four, considering the height of the building and the fact that you didn’t splatter all over the floor. For the other part of your mind, though, it was endless. You fell, and you fell, and you couldn’t stop falling; the floor was close but never close enough.

The scream that left your lungs made your throat ache, your chest rumbling as the scream kept coming and coming. Your heart wasn’t in your chest anymore; you were sure it had already exploded the moment your feet left the building. You were even surprised you were still breathing; your lungs didn’t seem to get enough air in them. You had heard how people that fall from skyscrapers die from heart attacks rather than the fall itself. Now you could see that happening; the longer you thought about it, the more you felt close to death. That was until you felt pressure on your hand. Satoru’s hand never left yours, even when you tried to pull your arms to your face, trying to cover your eyes from the ever-closing floor.

One moment you were in the air, and next you were back at the edge of the building.

Your legs failed, almost making you drop to the ground, but his arms were there to keep you steady. Miraculously, you still had a living heart, as you felt it’s beating on your ears every time. Gojo’s worried face gained your attention, his eyes scanning you as his lips moved, but his words never reached your ears. Only then did you finally process what had happened.

You had jumped from a building, and you had teleported back.

You were still alive.

The fear was quickly replaced by blinding excitement. The adrenaline coursing through your veins felt like hot liquid fire, this time the trembling of your body caused by it. The sudden feeling that you could conquer the world overcame you; you wanted to do it again and again and again so you could feel like this forever.

A laughter came out of you, which initially had scared Satoru, but the more you laughed, the more he was sure you were ok.

“I can’t believe I just did that.” You said as Satoru’s hands helped you stand up.

“I told you it was awesome.” He laughed along with you.

You jumped to his arms, pulling him in for a kiss. Your hands traveled all over his hair, pulling it as you deepened the kiss. His hands brought you up, settling on your ass once your legs wrapped around his waist. Something in him was desperate for your touch, his hands holding you in place as both of you kept exploring each other.

You pulled away from him, excited to tell him you wanted to try it again, but he interrupted you.

“Let’s do it aga—“

“I love you.”

Your heart stopped this time.

You knew he had loved you for a long time. Every moment you spent together you could see it. His love was in everything he did. It was in the way he made you laugh, in the way he would make sure you’d have enough to eat, in the way he would buy your favorite snacks on the way to your apartment, on the way he would offer to do the dishes so you could go take a shower, on the way he would caress your face, his eyes screaming the words he didn’t dare to say. His love was everywhere.

A long time ago you had never thought you would love someone the way you had loved Toji, and in a way you were right. Loving Toji had been intense, warm, and comfortable; for a man so closed up to love, he had surprisingly shown you so much of it, even if it had taken some time for it. You had loved Toji first, and you had given him your unconditional love even before he knew your feelings. Loving Satoru was different; it was quick and unexpected, but most importantly, it made you feel alive. You had gotten used to the shell of yourself you presented to the world, something you had gotten comfortable with, but Satoru had managed to break it with his bubbly, eccentric persona. He had teared the walls you had built, little by little chirping them apart, until your heart could beat for someone again. There was no comparison between Toji and Satoru; they both had your heart forever, just in different ways.

He loved you even when you felt like you didn’t deserve it.

So how could you not love him back?

“I love you too.”

The smell of pancakes filled Satoru’s apartment, along with the sound of his tinkering around the kitchen. You stretched yourself along his bed, your skin welling the coolness of the expensive sheets he had. Your body was sore; the toll of yesterday’s curse, along with your nighttime activities with Satoru, had left you drained.

You stood up, using one of his shirts to cover up. The sight that welcomed you once you reached the kitchen made you laugh. Pans and food were scattered everywhere as the sorcerer went back and forth from the pans to the freshly made orange juice he was trying to make.

“Who would’ve thought pancakes and orange juice would be your one true enemy?” You chuckled.

He turned around to face you, his hands carrying a bowl with what you assumed was pancake batter. A shy smile adorned his face, which managed to swell your heart with love.

“It’s not my fault the instructions on the recipe weren’t clear; how was I supposed to know you had to grease the pan with butter?”

“I’m pretty sure every recipe says so; even then, it’s basic knowledge.”

You walked closer to him, reaching out to him for a morning kiss, but he backed away.

"Don't; I have a raw egg all over me.”

“Now, how did you manage to do that?”

Satoru shrugged his shoulders, going back to his duty. You propped yourself on top of one of the kitchen stools, looking at the white hair sorcerer finish cooking the last of the pancakes.

“You need any help?”

“Nah, I’m almost done. I was trying to bring you breakfast to bed, but I was sabotaged.”

“Sure you were.”

After a few minutes of cooking, the last of the pancakes rested well on top of the mountain he had created. The orange juice was now in a clear crystal jar right in front of you. It would’ve been a nice scenery if it wasn’t for the mess that tainted the background. Satoru began throwing everything in the sink in a rushed manner, his hand reaching out to grab the kitchen towel.

You stood up from your seat, snatching the towel out of his hand.

“Why don’t you go take a shower while I clean this?” You offered as you thought it would be uncomfortable to eat covered in eggs, flour, and orange juice.

He shook his head. “No, I had this whole thing planned and—“

You interjected “And I’m very grateful that you did this, but I also want you to enjoy breakfast. Besides, it’s just going to be a little cleaning. I promise, as soon as you get out, I’ll stop cleaning.”

Satoru, as stubborn as he always was, was about to refuse your help, but to his dismay and your amusement, his hand landed unspilled batter that covered a part of the counter. You tried to control your laughter, which only made it more obvious, earning an eye roll from the sorcerer.

“Fine, but no more cleaning as soon as I get out of the shower.”

You lifted your right hand. “I solemnly swear.”

He left the room with quick steps, the sound of his discarding his clothes echoing from his bedroom. You put yourself in action, focusing on just cleaning the counters as it felt like a more important task than tackling the mountain of dishes; Satoru could take care of that.

You were almost done throwing all the trash that you had gathered in the can when a ringtone surprised you. Satoru’s phone had somehow ended behind the toaster, and surprisingly, it had survived being stainless with all the food flying around it. You wiped your hands quickly before grabbing it, Ijichi’s name flashing on the screen.

“Ijichi is calling you.” You yelled at him, sure that he would be able to hear you even in the shower.

“I’ll call him back later.” He yelled back.

You put it in the counter, letting the call go to voicemail. You were about to keep going with your duties when the phone rang again—another call from Ijichi. This ringing kept going for a little while until it went to voicemail once more, then the texts came, one after the other.

A sudden heaviness installed in your stomach; maybe it was something important; it had to be for him to be so insistent. You grabbed the phone in your hands, typing the four-digit password to unlock it. Another message popped up on his screen, and you clicked on it.

Ijichi

I’m sorry to interrupt you, Mr. Gojo, but we have a situation. 9:37 am

I wouldn’t be so insistent if it wasn’t serious. 9:37 am

Please get back to me as soon as possible. 9:38 am

It’s about the Fushiguro kids. 9:38 am

Fushiguro kids.

Fushiguro.

You dropped the phone; it’s screen is cracking as it touches the ground. It couldn’t be them, could it? There was no way Satoru had anything to do with those kids. Why would he? You had never even told him Toji’s last name, none the less told him about his kid and stepkid. It couldn’t be, could it?

“What’s wrong?” His voice startled you, a concerned look on his face as you walked towards you.

You gather all the strength you have, unsure whether the words will actually come out of your mouth without getting stuck in your throat. You looked at the floor, thinking it would be the only way you would be able to talk.

“Who are the Fushiguro kids?” Your voice was barely audible, the straining in it impossible to miss. You looked back at him, hoping to find his usual smile or perhaps just a confused look on why you were acting like that.

You hoped for anything that would tell you it wasn’t the same Fushiguro family you were thinking about.

Instead, wide, panicked, blue eyes looked back at you.

“I—“

“Don’t fucking lie to me.”

It didn’t take a genius to figure out Satoru was thinking of an excuse—anything he could bullshit you to take away the anger that began simmering in you.

“Who the fuck are the Fushiguro kids?”

A heartbeat went by, then he answered.

“Megumi and Tsumiki.”

A scoff left your lips. Everything in the room was spinning, the beating of your heart pounding incessantly on your head. Millions of questions ran through your head, but you were unable to focus on one, each second passing you by and flooding you with emotions you weren’t sure how to process. Was this how it felt to be in his unlimited void?

“How do you know them?”

“Toji Fushiguro told me about Megumi.”

“Did you know who I was?” Your voice was barely above a whisper.

He hesitated, not wanting to reveal himself, but there was no point in it, not anymore.

“Yes.”

“What—? How did you—?”

There it was, the same sadness you would sometimes catch behind his eyes. You had never dared to ask about it, sure that he would come to tell you with time. You had guessed it had to be with Suguru; the things you had asked about him earning almost the same sad look of losing his best friend.

But this wasn’t a sadness about losing someone. It was a sadness knowing everything would end as soon as you knew the truth.

No. It couldn’t be. It couldn’t be him.

He couldn’t be the one.

Not Satoru.

“No.” You backed away from him, his presence digging a hole in your chest. “No, no, no, no.”

“Please, let me explain.” His hand tried to reach you but you slapped it away.

“What the fuck are you going to explain?” You screamed, the last syllables of your sentence breaking as tears pooled in your eyes. “That you fucking killed—“ you couldn’t even say the words; they tasted like vile rising from your esophagus.

“I’m sorry.”

Rage.

Pure, blinding rage.

Your senses, your body, your thoughts—everything was swarmed by rage. Your hand, almost like in automatic motion, punched the sorcerer square in the face, landing him across the room. His body left a dent in the wall; the few frames he had hanging were now broken apart, all scattered over the floor.

Before you could think about it, your hand had already reached out to your bag, taking out the knife Toji had given you. The shock from your hit had passed, and now Satoru stood up, a small cut on his cheek. You sensed him before he had even teleported, the sudden cursed energy surge behind you alerting you of his moves. You grabbed him by his throat, slamming him back down to the floor.

After spending time, you had learned to read every part of Satoru that involved his fighting techniques along with the signature of his cursed energy. You had learned everything that was to learn about the greatest sorcerer in the world, and now you were going to use it to finish him, even if you died.

You grabbed your knife, your cursed energy amplifying the one the object already owned, and you aimed it at his heart. You wanted him to feel the same pain he had caused you when he killed him, the pain he caused when he had lied to you. You were going to carve his heart out, and maybe then he could understand a fraction of what you were feeling.

His teleportation worked again, this time placing himself further away from you in the room. The tip of your knife crashed against the wood panels, leaving a dent in them.

“Please, stop.” He pleaded, the sorrow in his voice making your heartache ten times worse.

You didn’t stop; you couldn’t allow yourself to stop.

Your body smashed against his, knocking him down against the bed. Slash after slash he dodged, your knife unable to pierce his skin. In between movements, he kept pleading with you, the desperation in his voice increasing with each attempt.

Somewhere along the fight you saw an opportunity at his feet. You weren’t sure if it had been on purpose or maybe it was just a coincidence his guard wasn’t as high as you had expected, but you seized the moment, your arm managing to pin him against a wall.

The knife you held shoots up straight to his neck, the blade making contact with his skin. You were ready to slash a straight line along it, but the back of your mind told you something was wrong.

You could touch him. All along the fight, you had been able to touch him. The cut he had from your punch still bled slightly, another piece of evidence of your proximity to him. Every kick, every punch, and every tackle had made direct impact with his body.

Not once during the fight had he activated his infinity.

The blade dug on his skin, and a faint drop of blood trailed down his neck.

“Why the fuck aren’t you using your infinity? I could fucking kill you.” You screamed in his face, digging your knife deeper into his skin. “Why aren’t you fighting back?”

A despairing smile showed on his face.

“Because I love you.”

Hot, salty tears cascaded along your face, the bridge of anger finally snapping as the sorrow took over everything you could feel. You couldn’t stop them; the more you tried to contain them, the bigger the hole in your chest grew.

He loved you, and you believed him.

You loved him back, and that love made you want to die. You couldn’t kill him no matter how much you pretended you wanted to; you knew you couldn’t survive losing someone that you loved again.

No matter how much you hated him at the same time.

You stood up, ready to grab your pants and bolt through the door. His hand stopped you, steading you in place.

“Please, don’t leave.” His begged, tears matching yours. “Please don’t leave me.”

Two bleeding hearts pleaded for each other that morning; one begged for forgiveness while the other begged to be put out of its misery. Both of them were entwined by the love they had for each other, along with the hurt they caused.

Yours was the only one that got what it wanted.

“Never contact me again. I’ll kill you if you do.”

If you like the story please interact: reblogs, likes and comments go a long way. Feedback is always appreciated! Feel free to message me about it.

[lucy90712]

Can you please make a hector fort fic where he spends all his time with his friends and spends barely time with her. Then they were supposed to go on a date together and she waits for him to pick her up, she waits for 2 hours and goes to social media to see if he has posted anything and sees on his story a picture of him and her girl bestfriend having fun playing games. So she leaves the house with her stuff. When hector comes home he realises what he has done and tries to get back in contact with her but he fails. They don't see each other for a while but he notices her walking on a busy street and tries to talk to her. (ending with fluff please)

You: good morning amor hope training goes well don't forget about our plans tonight I'll be waiting for you 

Hector: have fun in class and don't worry I'll be there at 7 as promised 

You: love you 

That was the last I heard from Hector and now it's 8:32pm and he's still not here to pick me up. He promised he promised me he'd be here and that he'd make up for us not spending any time together. I should've seen it coming as he's been doing this for weeks he's promised time and time again that he will come over or we'll go on a date and then he never shows up. When I can finally get hold of him he always has an excuse either he was busy or with friends and lost track of time but whatever it is it hurts. I've done so much for Hector I've been there for him since we were kids and I've been there for every good and bad moment of his football career but he can't even manage to show up for one day or just to see me for an hour. 

We made the jump from being friends to being a couple just over a year ago and for the longest time he was the best boyfriend ever he treated me so well was super attentive and really made an effort to be romantic and take me on dates. I don't remember exactly when it changed I think it happened slowly over time but ever since he's started playing with the first team more he's been busier with training and matches which I understand but what I don't understand is spending every evening with his teammates who he sees all day when he could see me. It might sound selfish but I just miss my boyfriend he's already missed so much like he wasn't here when I was stressed over my big exams and he wasn't here when I got the results and he wasn't here when I needed him most when my mum went into hospital and I was scared and panicking. Just a few months ago he'd never dream of leaving my side during any of those times but now he barely knows they even happened. 

I text him once then twice then three times then I called multiple times but they all went unanswered. My last resort was to message him on Instagram as I know he won't have turned the notifications off for that but I didn't need to message him Instagram gave me my answer straight away. He had posted on his story showing him out with his friends and my best friend was with them too which was a whole other level of pain. My best friend knows all about my troubles with Hector yet she went out with him and his friends anyway and didn't even bother to tell me. That was the final straw I'm not dealing with this anymore I deserve better I deserve someone who will be there for me, not break promises and definitely not someone who makes me feel like this. 

My mind was racing but I quickly worked out what I wanted to do so I grabbed my keys and got in my car. Seeing as Hector wasn't in I decided now is the perfect time to go and get all the things I have at his place and leave the spare key I have that he gave me ages ago because I won't be needing it anymore. When I opened the door I immediately saw all the little things of mine there are that makes Hector's place feel just like my own some of my books are on his coffee table and my hair ties on the sideboard by the door. I spent some time grabbing all my things while trying not to cry that I was losing my boyfriend who I thought was the love of my life. Before I left I found a piece of paper and a pen and wrote Hector a note to tell him his I felt and why I was leaving and then put my key with it. Closing the door I felt like I was closing a chapter in my life a chapter I never wanted to close and one that's going to stay with me for a long time but it has to be done. 

Hector's POV

As soon as I opened the door to my apartment it felt weirdly empty like was something wrong but the door was locked and nothing looked like it has been stolen. Still I had a quick look around and then I noticed a piece of paper on the kitchen counter. Next to it was a key and that's when I realised what was wrong all of y/n's things were gone her books, her hair ties and all of the little things she leaves here were gone and this is her key that's now in my hand not with her like it should be. I knew the note would be from her but I didn't need to read it to know what was going on and what I'd done. I had promised to see her tonight as I've forgotten about the last few dates we've planned but I did it again my friends dragged me out after training and then I got carried away and forgot about the most important part of my day proving to y/n that I will do better. I really didn't want to read the note but I knew I had to I owe her that at the very least.

Dear Hector, 

I have left my key and taken my things because I'm done. I'm done because tonight we were supposed to go out you promised you'd pick me up at 7 and you promised you wouldn't forget like you have been for the last few months but you did. Instead of trying to prove to me that you love me and that the last few months have just been an anomaly you went out with your friends and my best friend leaving me waiting for you, calling and texting you until I saw your story. I can't do this anymore I love you but I can't let you treat me like this so I'm calling it here. I've really enjoyed the last year or so we've spent together but it's time for us to move on as clearly we aren't meant to be. 

I love you and probably will for the rest of my life but this is goodbye. 

Y/n xx

Those words hurt to read. I already knew I fucked up but to see the words written in front of me made it truly hit me how much I'd hurt her. She was the best thing that ever happened to me she was always there for everything no matter what she's been by my side through every up and down and I truly thought she'd be there for everything for the rest of our lives. I wanted her there for every achievement in my career and I wanted to be there for all of her achievements too. She was the one I didn't need anyone else I didn't want anyone else but now she's left me and I don't have my person anymore and I may never have her again. 

After the initial shock I tried to text her to see if I could apologise but she had already blocked me so I tried Instagram but she had blocked me on there too. I should've seen it coming but it upset me that I wouldn't be able to reach out to her and try and make things right or at least tell her how sorry I am for fucking this all up so badly. She's gone and it's all my fault that's what hurts the most if I hadn't been such an idiot then we'd still be together but no I had to go and ruin things with the best woman in the world. 

A few weeks later

Life has been hell for the last few weeks I've really missed y/n I've missed having her sat in the stands during matches and I've definitely missed seeing her. She's been in my life for the longest time not just as my girlfriend but as my friend so not having her in my life anymore and so suddenly as well has been really hard. I've definitely not been myself all of the guys keep asking if I'm ok and I tell them I am but we all know it's a lie they know how much I love y/n and they can see how it's destroyed me to lose her. I've tried time and time again to reach out to her but of course I'm still blocked I even text her best friend to get her to talk to y/n but she says she hasn't seen her or had any of her texts answered either so I have no way of telling her that I'm sorry. 

Everyone keeps telling me I need to try and move on and they're right it's just hard everything reminds me of y/n whenever I go anywhere I see places that we've been on dates to or just places we have memories at. Today I'm going to stop myself from moping about and go for a walk to clear my head as that's what I think I need to be able to move on or at least start to. I decided to go to the nearest park and walk around as it's relaxing and it should be quiet there which is what I need. 

The park was pretty empty there was a few people around; one couple with their baby an older couple feeding the birds and a girl who was sat on a bench with a book. The girl reminded me of y/n her hair was the same colour and reading in the park is something she loved to do. As I walked closer I realised that it actually was y/n she had headphones in and the book she'd been reading in her hands like she so often did when I went to see her. Seeing her made me stop in my tracks I didn't know whether to go and talk to her or just leave her be but then I realised this is my chance to talk to her and get closure at the very least. 

Your POV

Being without Hector has been hard I've missed feeling his touch and having him next to me when I sleep. So many times I've wanted to take it all back and run back to him but I know I can't or he'll think he can treat me like that again or someone else and I can't let that happen. Today is Wednesday which is the day that I had free from classes and usually I would spend all day with Hector so I've been sat at home all day thinking about him but I can't keep doing that so I needed to get outside. To give me something to do I walked to the park with my book. I found a bench with a nice view of the trees and the little pond with a few ducks and let myself forget about the real world. 

I was so in my own world that I didn't notice when someone sat next to me to start with until they sighed which brought me out of my trance. When I looked to my side I think I turned as white as a ghost because Hector was sat next to me with a look of pure sadness on his face. It took a few seconds for my brain to begin functioning again but when it did I leapt up and tried to run away. I'm not ready to face him again not when I've been trying so hard to forget about him and move on I blocked him and separated myself from him so I wouldn't have to do this. Before I could get more than a few steps away Hector placed a hand on my arm he didn't pull me back he didn't even hold my arm tightly but having his hand on me stopped me dead in my tracks. He encouraged me to sit back down so I did and I watched as his hand moved off my arm down to my hand which he held tightly in his grasp so I couldn't run again. 

"Hector" I started to say 

"No please let me talk" he interrupted 

"Ok but you have five minutes then I'm leaving" I said

"I'm sorry and I know move said that a lot recently but I really mean it when I got home and saw the note you left it broke me having all of your stuff gone from my apartment made it feel empty and not being able to see or talk to you has killed me I've missed you so much and I'll do anything to make it up to you" he said 

"How do I know that you actually mean it and that you'll actually change I told you how disappointed I was a million times and every time you told me you wouldn't forget the next time and then you always did it's like I wasn't important to you anymore how do I know that'll change" I said 

"I know I was an awful boyfriend but losing you has taught me a lot I know I can't treat you like that and I'd never dream of doing it again this might seem to much but you are truly the one for me I don't want to ever be with anyone else so please give me a another chance and I promise I'll do better and if I don't I'll let you go" he said 

"Ok but this is your last chance if you miss any date or anything without telling me and giving me a valid reason we're done" I said 

"I'll never miss a date ever again don't worry" he said 

"I can't lie I'm glad to have you back I've missed you so much it really hurt to walk away" I said

"And you'll never have to walk away again I'm here to stay" he said 

He pulled me into his side and leant down to kiss my lips which felt so good as I've missed having him by my side and I've definitely missed kissing him. He let me sit and finish the chapter I was reading before we left the park and went back to his place as he wanted to make things up to me straight away by having a movie date at home which he knows are my favourite. He's definitely off to a good start at making things up to me but honestly I'm just happy to have him back by my side. 

[yongility]

NEO TV # I LIKE ME BETTER WHEN I'M WITH YOU. (jaehyun x reader) 6/?

genre: angst, suggestive, gang au, rich kid au, enemies to lovers (kinda), a lil of fluffy stuff. slowburn, series.

warnings: drug use mentions, gangs, fights, use of weapons, adult language, illegal activities, cheating (not on the main couple), toxic family environment, addictions, manipulation, insecurities, illegal street racing, death mentions. jeno is jaehyun's younger brother, angst, smut and if I slip something my bad haha.

word count: +10k?

a/n: im the worst I KNOW! It's just i kept trying to write this chapter like a million times and it never ended like I wanted to and seeing as I have a language barrier (cuz English isn't my first language if u didn't know haha) I was just being unsatisfied with the chapter, but I force my ass to sit down and write this down so i hope u like it!

Sigh...

Overthinking.

(Y/N) had never been good at not thinking too much. Ever since she was little, she always found herself trapped in her own mind, unraveling every last detail of any situation. Perhaps it came from her mother, who had an almost supernatural ability to turn the smallest into the biggest, the most trivial into something monumental. Her mother sowed doubts where there were none, and every little imperfection became a tragedy in her house. That had marked her way of being, of perceiving the world and, especially, the people around her.

She hated it. But, despite everything, she couldn't help it.

Lying on the bed, her eyes fixed on the white ceiling, she felt how the silence enveloped her, how it pressed on her shoulders, on her chest. A heavy, unbearable silence, like a blanket that drowned her. The thoughts did not cease, on the contrary, they intensified as time progressed, dragging her more and more towards the storm raging inside her.

Five days. Five long and exasperating days.

Since the last time she saw Jaehyun. The last time he'd been at her house at one in the morning, when everything had been so... strange. So full of heavy silences, elusive looks, and something on his face, something she couldn't explain. A look she had never seen before. As if it was charged with something, with a desperation so great that he didn't know how to share it. Something that was far beyond the tension of her argument with Mark Lee. Something dark, hidden in the depths of Jaehyun, that she couldn't quite grasp.

Worst of all, now, five days later, she knew nothing about him. The unanswered calls, the messages delivered but not read. She had tried to contact him so many times, but the frustration was just overflowing her.

What was going on? The uncertainty was worse than any answer she could receive. In her mind, questions swirled like a whirlwind. Was she the cause? Had she done something that had driven him away from her? Why had he left so abruptly after their encounter?

She remembered that night. That last shared moment. It had been so... intense. So close, so intimate. An instant of shared vulnerability that had allowed her to feel that, at last, she was connecting with him in a deeper way. But then he was gone. Without a word. Without a word, without a gesture to indicate that something else might be behind his departure.

Jaehyun's words kept echoing in her mind, over and over again. "You're the one that can keep me on track."

Those words stuck to her skin like an invisible mark. What did they really mean? Was it true what he had said? Was she the one who could keep him focused? She wanted to believe it, wanted to be that person for him. But deep down, a fear was creeping in. Was she just being a distraction for him? Was she simply the release valve, the temporary relief for the anguish he was feeling, only so that later he could lose himself in his own pain again?

Knock. Knock. Knock.

She was confused, she didn't know what to do or what not to do. Should she go find him at Neo Zone? Or just wait for him to decide to show up? But, if Jaehyun decided not to... then what would she do?

Knock. Knock. Knock.

The sound of knocking on the door brought her out of her whirlwind of thoughts. She looked toward the door without moving a muscle, throat tight, stomach twisting. The last thing she wanted was to confront her mother, but the knock was persistent, as if someone had decided to break the silence of her room and force an interaction she didn't want.

But, despite the heaviness she felt inside, she got up. A slow, weary movement, as if she were walking through thick water. When she opened the door, she did not find what she expected, neither her mother, nor the inevitable argument. Instead, there he was.

"Daeho..." she murmured, her voice muffled, as if somehow his presence gave her back something she had lost in those days of constant overthinking.

It really had been a long time since they had last met face to face and to say it wasn't a surprise to her would be a total lie.

"Hey," he said, with a smile that didn't quite light up his face. "Can we just... hang?" he asked, scratching the back of his head as if it were weighing on him.

She nodded without another word, stepping aside for him to pass. As soon as he was through the door, Daeho plopped down on his bed unceremoniously, and (Y/N) mimicked him, lying down next to him quietly. They both stared at the ceiling, engulfed in the same silence that had filled their room before his arrival, though it felt somewhat less empty now.

It had been so long since they had shared a moment like this, a moment of simple companionship. She remembered the years when he had been her best friend, her inseparable companion, the only person she truly trusted within the family. But now, lying next to him, she felt as if she had a stranger by her side, someone who, despite all the shared memories, had fallen into a darkness from which she could no longer rescue him.

Daeho broke the silence, his voice soft but laden with an almost tangible weight. "How have you been?"

"I could be better," she replied, with a sincerity he understood without the need for details. He nodded, without looking at her, and went back to losing himself in the ceiling.

(Y/N) gaze strayed to him, and for the first time in a long time, she looked at him closely. His face seemed to have aged years in just a few months. His skin, paler than usual, was dotted with small imperfections that he once cared for with care. The dark circles under her eyes were deep, and her expression had an air of resignation that hurt to see. He sighed, swallowing the lump he felt in his throat.

It was ironic. The person she had grown up with, with whom she had shared so much, now felt like a stranger. She couldn't remember the exact moment when their friendship had changed, or how they got to this point. It had all happened so subtly, as if the words and gestures that had once bound them together had now lost their power. Perhaps time had eroded all that. Or maybe they simply didn't understand each other in the same way anymore.

A pang of pain shot through her. It wasn't just sadness she felt at seeing him like this, but also a pent-up rage, a helplessness that made her want to scream, to wonder at what point he had reached this point. How had he fallen so low?

Perhaps that moment had been from two years ago, when things had become a little darker in her family environment. When her aunt and uncle seemed unable to stop hurting his self-esteem again and again and again. Maybe it was since that gala when all eyes were on him, judging him, laughing at him, stalking him, waiting for him to make a simple mistake so they could point at him.

So they could tell him that he was not worthy of everything he had around him.

That he couldn't be as good as his father was.

That he was a mere spoiled child who deserved nothing.

Perhaps that was when it dawned on Daeho that he could never live up to the expectations he had to fill.

"Daeho..." she whispered, unable to keep the thought to herself alone. There was something heartbreaking about seeing how her cousin was losing himself, something that reached straight to her heart.

He closed his eyes, as if he knew what was coming, and remained silent, as if everything was in order.

"Why did we end up like this?" the question left his lips without meaning to. And as she uttered it, she felt a surge of pain run through her, as if that simple phrase was a reminder of how far away they were from each other.

Daeho closed his eyes for a few moments, as if trying to find an answer. Finally, he spoke, his voice muffled and distant.

"It's the only time I forget," he said, staring at the ceiling, not daring to look her in the eye. "When I do it, it's like I can stop thinking about everything."

"You're not forgetting," she asserted, "you're destroying yourself."

He let out a bitter laugh. "I don't think I'm doing it any more than they're destroying me," he said, his words hitting her with the force of a fist.

Silence filled the room again. She wanted to react, to scream at him, to convince him that he couldn't go on like this, but the words stuck in her throat. How to tell him that she could see him falling and could do nothing to stop it? How to make him understand that he was killing a part of himself?

"I can't keep watching you destroy yourself," he said at last, his voice trembling.

Daeho fell silent, and she felt a tide of memories rise up inside her. She remembered the years they had shared, the times when he was her refuge and she his, the days when nothing could separate them. Daeho had been more than a cousin; he had been her confidant, her best friend. To see him like this, consumed by something she could neither understand nor control, broke her heart.

"You don't have to," he replied softly, but the intensity of his words hit her hard.

(Y/N) wanted to laugh, a bitter, hurt laugh, but instead, she felt the lump in her throat grow larger.

"You said you'd quit it," she reminded him, almost in a sob.

Daeho turned his head toward her, and their eyes met for the first time that night. The look on his face was so devastated that she (Y/N) wished he hadn't looked at her.

"I can't," he admitted, his voice tinged with desperate honesty. "I've tried so many times, and each time...each time I realize I don't want to give it up. I know it's not what you want to hear, but...I'm in too deep. I don't know how to get out, even if I wanted to."

(Y/N) felt the pain in her chest become almost tangible. Seeing him like this, hearing those words, hurt in a way she could never have imagined.

"Why do things have to be like this?" she asked, feeling a lone tear fall down her cheek.

Daeho sighed, a long, exhausted sigh, and hid answer was so raw it seemed ripped from deep within him. "It's what I chose," he murmured. "It may not have been the best decision, but at least it was mine. It's the only thing I really decided for myself...without someone else telling me what to do, who to be. Even if it was for the worse."

She wanted to understand, wanted to see in his words something that would give her comfort, but she couldn't. She couldn't accept that someone who had once been so important to her had been lost like that.

"Don't let it drag you down," he said suddenly, his voice becoming firm. "I made my choices, (Y/N). But you...you have a life you can still build. I'm already too deep, but you...you have a lot ahead of you."

(Y/N) felt a mixture of anger and pain. She couldn't believe he was capable of telling her that, after all.

"You shouldn't keep seeing Jung Jaehyun," he added, in such a serious tone that it took her by surprise.

She looked at him, incredulous, the pain transforming into icy fury. "Get out of my room," he said, pointing to the door.

Daeho nodded, though not without a final sigh of resignation. "I just needed to tell you."

"Just go," she murmured, turning away from him.

He walked out quietly, leaving her in that loneliness that now seemed so much deeper, with the echo of his words echoing in the empty room.

Jaehyun knew it had been a chain of bad decisions and circumstances that had pushed him this far, but facing it was like tearing his skin off. He couldn't deny the truth: he hated everything around him, and he hated himself more than anyone else. His life, a maelstrom of regrets, had dragged him to this point, and try as he might, he could not escape that bitter mix of rage and hopelessness. Sometimes, in his darkest nights, he wished that everything would vanish into emptiness, that the weight of existing would finally disappear.

He wanted, with every fiber of his being, to close that circle.

"Ah, Jaehyun, always a pleasure to see you," Sooman said, leaning back in his chair with an icy, calculating smile, interlocking his hands with the false familiarity of one who controls the board.

Jaehyun felt the poison burn inside him. Disgust twisted his stomach, and that sneering smile of Sooman's only made his insides boil even more. He loathed the man with an intensity he could almost taste on his tongue. He faked a strained smile.

"I could say the same."

Fake it till you make it.

The thought passed fleetingly, and he tried to cling to it, but the hatred ate him.

"The last time we saw each other wasn't very pleasant," Sooman commented, dropping even more comfortably into his chair, as if enjoying the memory. Jaehyun's jaw immediately tensed. The memories of the beatings were still etched on his skin, and in his memory. Pain. Anger. Shame. All jumbled into a poisonous tangle. "That's why I want to make it up to you with a job."

Jaehyun could barely process that he was sitting there, across from Lee Sooman, listening to his offer, swallowing his disgust. He had heard everything Mark Lee had confessed, every word about the dark side of his boss that seemed to have no end. Deep down, all Jaehyun wanted was to make him pay, to see him suffer as he had seen his father, his Uncle Dong, Winwin suffer. Each of them had felt Sooman's merciless fist in their lives, and he was the last piece to fall.

Everything in him screamed to break the balance, to let the anger out. He wanted peace, but at the same time, he wanted to destroy everything.

The tension in Jaehyun's body increased. Make it up to him? The word felt like a taunt, but his voice was controlled, cold.

"What's this about?" asked Jaehyun, exhaling a sigh, as if by releasing the air he could release some of the weight in his chest.

Sooman smiled, with twisted satisfaction, and pulled his chair closer to the desk. "You see, in three weeks I have a trade. Trouble is, I don't want to, nor do I plan to, do it alone. I could take Cheol Uk with me, but I'd rather have him stay here, on this side of the pond...in case things get complicated," he explained, crossing his arms with the arrogant assurance of one who knows he controls all the strings. "And I think you'd be perfect company."

"What kind of exchange?" asked Jaehyun, though deep down he already sensed the answer.

"Weapons."

The shock of that word fell on him like a brick, a weight he couldn't shake. Jaehyun felt his body stiffen. He'd been in dangerous situations before, he'd played with fire and survived, he was a dealer in Neo Zone. But he knew that accepting that would mean crossing an invisible and final line. He would be transformed into someone even more embroiled in the chaos of the gang, with his hands stained with something he could never wash off.

It was hard to resist, but it was just as hard to accept.

"It'll be quick," Sooman continued, studying Jaehyun's every gesture like a predator watching its prey. "Just outside the city. If all goes well, it won't take more than an hour." he noticed the tension in Jaehyun's gaze, the hesitation he was struggling to keep hidden, and leaned toward him slightly. "I'm asking you because I trust you."

The words fell like a taunt. Jaehyun felt his blood boil, how his skin almost throbbed from pent up rage. His right hand clenched into a fist on his leg, trying to restrain the urge to get up and smash something, anything that would allow him to release what was burning inside him. How dare Sooman speak of trust, to pretend there was anything sincere between them? After all the damage he had sown around him?

But what choice did he have left? Deep down, Sooman's control was absolute.

"What's the pay?"

"Enough to cover six months of your friend's rehab," Sooman replied, his eyes locking on Jaehyun's, pressing right where he knew it hurt.

The mention of rehab was the final piece that fell, sealing his fate. Above all else, he needed the money. Above all else, there was someone else needing to get out of hell, and he couldn't let it drop. He closed his eyes for a moment, swallowing the pain that mingled with anger and despair.

"I'll do it."

"I knew you wouldn't fail me," Sooman replied, satisfied, with a smile that seemed tainted with venom. "You are just like your father. My trust is in you, Jaehyun."

Jaehyun nodded, feeling the knot in his chest tighten, choking him.

Fake it till you make it.

Roll on, light it up, inhale, exhale.

Roll on, inhale, exhale.

Inhale... exhale.

Inhale.

One, two... three.

Exhale.

Jaehyun coughed loudly as he passed the joint to Lucas, who with shrunken, red eyes took it in his hands without hesitation, taking a puff to hold the smoke in his lungs for a few seconds and slowly draw it out.

In front of them was the panoramic view of SM City, the prominent lights of the northern area made the southern area look small, even though from a distance they didn't seem to be so far apart... so different.

If only that were the case.

"You know you don't have to do it," Lucas muttered, exhaling one last puff of smoke before dropping the cigarette to the ground and crushing it with the toe of his shoe. His gaze, fixed on the ground, hid the trace of worry in his eyes.

Jaehyun continued to stare at the lights of the city, each bright spot fading into the distance, like the possibilities he once had and now seemed to be extinguished. His voice came out almost as a whisper, broken and strained. "It's six months of treatment, Lucas. "Winwin... Winwin has started to move his hand. It's a little acomplishment, I know. But it's a step, and I can't... I can't let that stop now." Each word was an effort, a confession that, deep down, that small breakthrough gave him a hope that felt forbidden in his life.

Lucas was silent for a few seconds, watching Jaehyun's profile, his rigid posture and the shadow of weariness in his gaze. "I thought you didn't want to do anything related to Sooman."

Jaehyun swallowed saliva. He thought so too. He had tried to escape Sooman's influence, that world that brought only destruction, but reality always caught up with him. He shoved his hands into his jacket pockets and sketched a bitter smile, one that barely disguised the lump forming in his throat.

"I thought so too, but you and Mark have said so, haven't you? If I try to do anything about it, not a week goes by before I'm found with a bullet in my head." His voice cracked in bitterness. "Tell me, what other choice do I have?"

Lucas let out a deep sigh, as if searching for the words amidst a cloud of dark thoughts. Then his voice was firm and determined. "I'll do it."

Jaehyun turned his head in surprise and looked directly at him. His eyes, reddened with fatigue and smoke, met his friend's. Then he let out a dry laugh, without a hint of mirth, and patted him on the back.

"Jaehyun." The name left Lucas' lips grimly, stopping him in his tracks. "I know we've said all our lives that the only one who had a chance of getting out of this shit was Winwin...but we know he's not the only one. Maybe I'm not smart enough, but I know you are. You could go to college, get away from all this. You're good at math, you're good at sports... You've got something out there, something worth more than I could ever have." Lucas looked at him with almost desperate seriousness. "Let me make the trade for you. You've got a lot more to lose."

His friend's words hit him like a truth he had tried to ignore. He pondered them silently, letting each one settle in his mind. He appreciated Lucas' attempt, his desperate proposal to sacrifice his own life to protect him, but he knew he could not allow it.

With an effort, he kept his voice steady, even though he felt each word plunging him deeper into his own emptiness. "I appreciate your... nobility, dude. But I will not let you risk your life to save mine. That's not something I can accept."

Lucas exhaled sharply, frustrated. His words came out cutting, in a last-ditch attempt to talk some sense into him. "Do you want to end up like your father, like Uncle Dong?" The mention of both names made Jaehyun tense, his fists clenching tightly until his knuckles turned white.

Jaehyun didn't respond. He turned around and started walking towards his car, trying to stifle the anger and pain boiling inside him. He could hear Luke's footsteps following him, the echoes of his words echoing in his head.

"We know I'll end up like that someday..." he muttered, without turning around. The resignation in his voice was a shock to both him and his friend.

But then, Lucas said something that forced him to stop, "What about (Y/N)?"

The name made his whole body freeze, (Y/N). He could see her in his mind, feel the warmth of her laughter, the twinkle in her eyes. She was the only light in the midst of his darkness, the only memory he dared to cherish in his loneliest moments. Inside him, where no one else could see him, was where he allowed her to exist, a longing he would never dare to confess.

"There is nothing with her." His voice was a harsh whisper, as if in saying it he was tearing out a piece of himself. He didn't even turn, just let it escape into the wind. "There can't be."

"I thought you were having something," Lucas confessed, stepping closer to stand in front of him, forcing him to look at him. "Maybe you can't see it, but anyone would notice. You don't have to say it, Jaehyun. It shows in your eyes every time you talk about her. You want something with her, anything. You're going to risk that by getting more into this shit?" Lucas waved his hand, almost unable to control himself. "We were doing relatively well selling those packages. At least we could pay for Winwin's treatment. But now... Weapons? What will they ask you to do next? Assaults? Robberies?" his voice deepened, and Jaehyun noticed the fear in his eyes. "Kills? Do you think (Y/N) would want to see you in that hell?"

Jaehyun closed his eyes and took a breath. Lucas' words drilled into him, burned inside him, but he couldn't accept them. He couldn't accept a possibility that he knew would end up hurting (Y/N).

Finally, he opened his eyes and looked at Lucas directly, with a forced coldness that tried to hide the storm inside him. "And what do you want me to do, Lucas? She doesn't deserve a life like mine. She needs to be away from all this...away from me. I could only drag her into this hole from which there is no way out." The words came out fast, almost angrily, but at the end his voice cracked. "I can't offer her anything, do you understand? Nothing worthwhile."

Lucas lowered his gaze, but his voice still reflected desperation to save him. "But you have something to offer, Jaehyun. Your life. A life that can still go somewhere, that can be something different." She looked at him pleadingly. "Don't make the trade. Don't get yourself into this anymore. You have a way out, even if you don't want to see it."

Jaehyun's decision was like a stone inside him, a sinking certainty, but it was the only thing that gave him stability at the moment. He averted his gaze to the city lights and quietly sealed his fate.

"I have to do it." The determination in his voice was unwavering. "It's already decided."

Lucas watched him silently, with a sadness so deep it was almost palpable. He knew, deep inside him, that he was losing another friend. The night closed in around them and under the stars, as the lights of the city shone in the distance, he knew that, in some sense, he had already lost his friend.

When (Y/N) got out of Jungwoo's car, the roars of the engines echoed in her ears, but despite the noise, her mind was somewhere else, anchored in a memory. The first time she set foot in Neo Zone, it had been a curiosity, an adventure she didn't fully understand. Now, that same place seemed just as intimidating, but different. This time she was not an outsider spectator. This time, she was there for him.

People's gazes were instantly fixed on her. Some with curiosity, others with disdain. The gleam in her eyes was not the same as those of the "normals" around her in her world. No, here the gazes were sharper, like knives, trying to strip her of her essence, her privilege. She felt out of place, and though in some corner of her mind she knew she would never be part of this world, at that moment all she cared about was finding him. Jaehyun.

The lights of the cars reflected the tense and charged atmosphere of the race track, where the local gangs came to show off their cars and gamble more than they should. She knew what she was up against, and if she had learned anything over the past few months, it was that, in that place, the rules were few, but fierce.

So she wasn't surprised when a familiar and unpleasant face emerged from the crowd. Chris, with that sly grin, who always seemed to have a second purpose behind every word.

"Well, look what we have here," he said, his voice laden with derision. "After Johnny's party, I didn't expect you to be one od Jaehyun's toys."

( Y/N) tried to keep her cool, her body rigid and her gaze steady. There was something about that guy that always made her feel small, as if his words were thorns thrown on purpose. But she had no time for games now. She wasn't here to confront Chris, only to find Jaehyun. "Let me through, Chris," she said, her voice cold, firm.

But he didn't let her go so easily. He stepped between her and the pass, and his hand brazenly strayed to her waist. A touch she didn't ask for, a brush she didn't want.

"Oh no, baby," he said, his tone low, like a challenge. "I think you owe me a debt for that punch you gave me, remember?"

( Y/N) she felt irritation bubbling inside her, but she wasn't going to lose her composure. Not here, not now. But she wasn't going to give in either. "Let go of me, or I swear I'll hit you again," she retorted, pushing lightly against his chest, hands firm. It wasn't what she wanted, but it was what she had to do. She wasn't going to let Chris touch her.

Chris laughed, but it wasn't a genuine laugh. It was mocking, calculating, as if he enjoyed the power he thought he had over her. "Can you imagine what Jaehyun will think when he sees me with one of his toys?" The malice in his voice left no room for doubt. He knew what he was doing, and he knew he had something he could use against her.

( Y/N) didn't answer right away. Her gaze wandered, searching through the crowd, and there, like a magnet, she found him. Jaehyun. He was far away, but she could feel the intensity of his gaze, the weight of his presence. And it wasn't just any glimpse, no. She knew she had seen him. His posture was rigid, his face annoyed, his eyes burning with a silent fire.

"Turn around to find out for yourself," Jaehyun said, his deep voice cutting through the air. It was not a suggestion. It was an order, firm, authoritative. At that moment, the threat was clear. "Let her go and get the fuck out of herr if you don't want that fucking smile wiped off your face. Remember, you're in my zone."

Chris hesitated for a second, then let go of (Y/N), as if Jaehyun's presence was a steel wall repelling him. Looking at Jaehyun as if he would challenge him, but knowing that this was not his territory. Jaehyun's area, yes, but not his.

Before walking away, however, he couldn't help but throw one last malice-laden glance towards (Y/N). "Call me when you get tired of him, gorgeous," he said venomously, not caring that his words were only empty provocation.

When Chris finally disappeared into the crowd, (Y/N) didn't hesitate for a second. He walked straight towards Jaehyun, until she was right behind him, the sound of his footsteps drowned out by the bustle of the arena. Feeling his presence so close gave her a strange sense of calm, but also aroused an uneasiness she didn't know how to handle.

Jaehyun turned slowly toward her. His expression was hard to read, but the frustration was evident. As always, he was trying to maintain control, but he couldn't hide the annoyance. In one swift movement, he grabbed her wrist, holding it firmly, forcing her to look him in the eye.

"What the fuck are you doing here?" he asked, anger tinged with palpable discomfort. His tone was low, dangerous. He wasn't saying it out loud for all to hear, but it was as if his words cut through the air between them.

( Y/N) felt a knot in her stomach. The worry, the confusion, the need to explain herself, but also the frustration of knowing that she had no right to be there, that this world was not hers. However, she could not lie. "I was looking for you," she said, without thinking, without fear of what that might mean.

"You weren't answering my calls. I wanted to know how you were..." she confessed, feeling Jaehyun pull her gently through the crowd to get her away from the people.

Finally, after pushing through the sea of people, they found themselves in a quieter corner. Jaehyun let go of her hand and turned to face her.

It was at that moment that he saw the pain reflected in her eyes. The girl, her gaze fixed on him, fiddled nervously with her fingers, as if trying to calm her anxiety.

"(Y/N), I'm fine. You didn't have to come and get into this," he told her in a low voice.

"You could have answered my calls," she demanded, her voice strained. "I didn't know how you were after what happened at my house almost a week ago."

Jaehyun looked her straight in the eye and slowly denied.

"That night I shouldn't have gone to your house."

What...?

"What are you talking about, Jaehyun?" she asked, almost in a whisper, surprised by those words.

Because deep down he knew he was right. That night he shouldn't have crossed that line, shouldn't have sought comfort from her, shouldn't have allowed the girl to sneak into his head and heart like that. He should not have allowed the closeness between them to make him vulnerable.

He shouldn't have thought he deserved something like that.

Because he didn't. He never would.

"Why is it that every time we seem to be moving forward, you decide to pull back?" she asked him, her voice breaking.

"Because there shouldn't be an us, (Y/N)," Jaehyun replied, serious, as if the words hurt him as much as they hurt her. "And you know it."

She tried to process what she had just heard, but her mind was still spinning, entwined with thoughts that wouldn't leave her alone. Coming here, meeting him...it had all been a whirlwind. Her cousin's words that morning still echoed in her mind.

That was not what she had expected to hear from Jaehyun.

"No, Jaehyun. I don't know," she said, frustrated, her eyes flashing with a mixture of confusion and anger. "All I know is that there's something inside me that binds me to you. I always end up looking for something in you, something I don't understand. And the least I understand is that you somehow get close and then walk away like it's nothing."

She moved closer to him and, with a trembling finger, pressed it against his chest, accusingly.

"If I walk away it's because you don't need this life, (Y/N)," he told her, with a painful tenderness in his voice. "I can't give you the life you want."

"I'm not asking you for anything extraordinary, Jaehyun," she replied, almost begging for him to understand. "I'm not asking you for more than what we already are."

Jaehyun looked at her, searching her eyes as if he wanted her to understand something beyond words. With the distance between them so short that their breaths were intertwined, he continued with a sigh.

"But look at me, (Y/N), look at us," he said softly. "I'll never be able to offer you the life you're used to. And I don't want you to get used to mine, because it's not something you deserve." Her voice deepened. "You don't know what it's like to live with necessities, without luxuries. It's not something I can ask you to change or sacrifice for me."

She bit her lower lip, trying to take in what she had just heard.

She was silent for a few seconds, biting her lower lip as her mind tried to process every word Jaehyun had just said. Her chest felt tight, as if his words were a weight on her, an uncomfortable truth that hurt, but one she knew she couldn't ignore.

Jaehyun closed his eyes.

"No, I don't," she finally admitted, looking down at the floor. "I don't know what it's like to live with those hardships..."

Silence fell between them again. The distant murmur of people seemed to grow farther and farther away, as if the world around them was fading away.

"(Y/N), you deserve better than this. Something more... something more stable. I can't be that something for you," Jaehyun said, his voice trembling for an instant.

She realized what he meant. She knew it wasn't just about the material. She knew that what Jaehyun was telling her went beyond external difficulties. He didn't want to be a risk to her, didn't want her life to be dragged down by the uncertainty, by the confusion he himself felt.

"And yet... I can't stop looking for you," she murmured, with a sad, almost defeated smile. "I don't understand what's wrong with me, Jaehyun. I don't understand why everything seems clearer when I'm around you, but then it blurs, it becomes all so confusing."

Jaehyun watched her, unable to find the right words. All he knew was that there was an undeniable connection between them, something even he couldn't explain. But, at the same time, he couldn't deny the fear he felt that this connection would drag them into something neither of them could control.

"I'm sorry," he finally said, his words sounding almost like an apology to himself. "I really am sorry."

She stared at him, as if she expected him to say something else, something that might make sense of everything she felt. But he didn't. Instead, the air between them was filled with a quiet awkwardness.

"So what do we do now?" she asked, voice cracking, but determined not to give up.

Jaehyun took a deep breath, staring ahead as if searching for some answer in the void. "I don't know. But I need you to understand that I don't want to hurt you. I don't want you to end up trapped in my world..."

She denied slowly, not looking away. "So is that it, then, we're just going to keep taking a step forward and then step back? Is that what you want?"

"It's not that," Jaehyun replied, somewhat at a loss. "It's just that I can't offer you what you deserve."

"What about what I want?" she said, on an impulse that surprised her. "Because all I want...is to be with you."

Her words hit him hard. Jaehyun couldn't say he felt the same way, not in the same way. But he couldn't help but think that, maybe, if they both allowed themselves to take that leap... maybe things could be different.

"I'm telling you that I can't give you what you want," he repeated, now with a slight desperation in his tone. "And yet, I feel like I can't walk away from you."

She looked at him silently for a few seconds, trying to find some answer that wouldn't leave her more confused. Finally, she took a step back, letting the air between them grow colder.

"So... what do we do, Jaehyun?" she asked, her voice barely a whisper. "Because I don't know if I can keep waiting for something I don't know if it's coming."

Jaehyun looked at her, his heart pounding. He could see the pain in her eyes, and it broke him inside. But at the same time, he knew he couldn't drag her down with him, couldn't ask her to settle for something he couldn't offer.

"The only thing I can do now...is tell you the truth," he said, almost breathlessly. "I'm not going to drag you into my life without you knowing what you're getting into."

She stood still, staring at the floor, as if processing every word. An invisible weight seemed to fall on her shoulders, and though her thoughts were chaotic, a small part of her knew she had to make a decision.

"So, you decide for me?" she asked, raising her head, her eyes filled with a mixture of frustration and sadness.

Jaehyun said nothing. His silence was answer enough.

Finally, Jaehyun, his throat tightening, slowly pulled away, knowing that any further attempts to get closer would only cause more pain. "I'm sorry," he said one last time, almost as a whisper, and took a step back.

And (Y/N) watched him walk away, her heart heavy, knowing there was nothing more to do. She stood alone in that dark corner of Neo Zone, with the noise of the engines rumbling around her, like a distant echo of the emotional storm she had just experienced.

a/n: I hope you liked even though in took me weeeeeeks to post hahaha, love y'all! NOT PROOFREAD! I’ve been sitting down like 4 hours trying to come with the chapter so now I’ll go to sleep 😴.

taglist is open! if you want to be added just lemme know;)

taglist: @spicyryujin @daegalismybiasinnct @peachfulnight @gojoscumslut @bluedbliss @dear-97 @girlwholovespreppyattire @hana-off-icial @cigarettesafterjae @beomgyusonlywife @bts-iris @doejaejung @methneo @kriizztin @mrsuhnshine @pieddpiperr (idk why some of the tags just don’t work out!)

If you want to ask me something, feel free to send them!

[prettypinkporkchop]

hiii, I've been reading some of your work n i love them so i decided to make a request

could you please write a paul lahote x oc where in during the bella pregnancy she is in the side of the cullen family (she could be a bella friend that know about everything because paul imprinted on her) and after the fight between the uley pack and the cullen's he is trying to make her forgive him

(sorry if i spelled something wrong english is my second language)

Flashback:

"Bella! Stop!" You yell at your best friend as she angrily makes her way towards the three shirtless guys. You're not so sure what is going on. All you know is that Edward moved away, Jacob was helping Bella cope, he disappeared, and now she's mad at his friends?

"What did you do?!" She yells at them. The middle guy instantly caught your attention. Who is he? "Bella, please.." You beg her to step back. Paul hears your voice and faces you.

How could things turn out like this? You two are bonded. It's supposed to be easy. It has been.. until now.

"Esme made food if you want some?" Jacob sits next to you on the stairs that lead up to where Bella is. You look up at him with tears in your eyes. "It hurts, Jake. I need him." You sniffle. Jacob frowns and looks down in between his feet. "He is hurting, too. I know that's a fact. When was the last time you guys saw each other or spoke?" You pull out your phone and read the text you sent him that was left unanswered all day. "I stopped by at his place a couple of days ago just to get a little quick fix of the pain. I stayed for maybe ten minutes. He said nothing. Just sat there in silence. I messaged him this morning. I texted, 'You're being an ass. Just accept my decisions.' He never responded." You put your phone back down.

Jake goes to say something but screaming and panicks abrupt the room upstairs. You and him jump up and run in there. You are horrified by the scene. Carlisle takes Bella into the operation room. Jacob and Edward go in there as well. You start panicking and go outside where Leah and Seth sit. You sit in front of them on the ground. "It's happening." Leah breathes out.

A little bit later, Jacob comes outside in tears. He falls on the ground. Seth looks at him with sadness. "She didn't make it..?" Seth croaks. Jacob shakes his head, rocking back and forth. You are in shock but fall next to Jacob and let the tears fall.

You just lost your best friend.

Jacob turns cold and stands up, stomping his way to the house. You turn to Leah. She reaches for your shoulder and stares at the house. "Everything is falling apart." You whisper.

Suddenly, wolves come in. Leah and Seth shift instantly, and they begin fighting. You jump back far enough to not get hurt. You see your Paul... your heart.. it aches.

You can't run inside because you're scared of what's going on there.

Jake comes out and tries to make them stop. He seems.. different? What's happening? He shifts when they don't listen. They all stop, backing away. The cullens step out, and you hear Edward behind you on the porch, "He imprinted."

You walk closer to Paul, who stands before you on your front step. You close the door behind you and cross your arms, looking at him with a sad face. "I've missed you, you know." You say with attitude. His eyes turn red and water. He swallows and then lands on his knees. "I'm so sorry." He cries softly. "I'd do anything to make it up to you, but we can't be away from each other any longer. Please come home with me." He looks up at you. You sit next to him and pull him into your chest. He breathes in your scent and wraps his arms around you. You sigh and put your head on his shoulder. "It's going to take a while for me to forgive you. I can't believe you'd toss me because of an opposing opinion." He grips you tighter. "I'd do anything. I love you more than you could ever imagine." He breathes out.

You wake up on Paul's bed naked, and you are greeted with candy that you love. You sit up, holding the blanket over your chest and grab onto it. There's a note taped on the back.

'Had to go help, Sam. Be back in a bit. Date 2nite get ready. love you.'

You smile and begin to forgive him, but you don't want to let him know just yet. Even though you guys slept together last night... Oops.

You put on your favorite dress on and finish up your makeup. Paul walks in his room from the bathroom, adjusting his shirt. He looks so handsome! He matched you! He looks at you sitting at the vanity he built for you. His eyes widen. "Oh my God, baby. You're so beautiful." He smiles and blushes. You wink at him and stand up. "Now, you look handsome."

The dinner was amazing! He opened doors for you, which he always does anyway. He listened to you talk all night. He's made up for cutting you out by being his usual best boyfriend.

As he drives you two home, his hand sits on your thigh. You run your fingertips up and down his arm. "I love you, Paul. I forgive you." He smiles widely and glances at you quickly. "I love you too. Thank you. I won't take this for granted. I'm never making that mistake again." He slightly squeezes your thigh.

[mikaela-granger]

The Long Wait (Season 2) Chapter 12

The Aftermath (Sean & Lorelei’s POV)

Fandom: Grimm

Pairing: Sean Renard/OFC

The Long Wait Masterlist

A/N:  How do Lorelei and Sean react in the aftermath of Sean’s deceptions being revealed.

***Sean’s POV***

They knew. The Burkhardt siblings knew who he really was and the role he had played over the past year. Sean was grateful that his obsession with Juliette was done with, and that he had fallen into an uneasy truce with Burkhardt. However, Sean was in despair as Lorelei was avoiding him. After Juliette and Nick left the spice shop, Lorelei had left not long after, almost bolting out the door. He had excused himself and left as well, hoping to catch up with Lorelei before she left. By the time he got outside, Lorelei was almost at her car. He sped up. “Lorelei.”

Lorelei glanced over her shoulder. “Nope. I’m not doing this right now.” She said, getting into her car. “I’m going home. Alone.”

And then she had peeled out of there. As much as it killed him, Sean had decided to give her a couple of days before approaching her. However, after a week and a lot of unanswered calls and messages, Sean couldn’t wait any longer. He had to talk to her, explain himself. He couldn’t imagine what Lorelei must be thinking. Did she think he had been using her to get to the key? He stood outside her door, and after a moment he knocked, hoping she was home. Sean hadn’t gone this long without seeing her for a while.

The door opened and there she was, his beautiful soulmate. She sighed when she saw him. “What do you want?”

“Please, just let me explain.” He pleaded with her. She sighed again and walked away, leaving the door open. Sean followed her inside, closing the door behind him. As he turned to face her, a dagger just missed his head, lodging itself into the wall. He glanced at it before looking back at Lorelei. “You missed.”

Lorelei’s expression was blank. “No, I didn’t. Now, start talking.”

Sean glanced at the dagger, realising it was a warning shot. He took a deep breath and turned to face Lorelei. “I, um…am not sure where to start.” He said slowly.

“Did you know I was a Grimm when you first started…interacting with me?”

Sean shoved his hands into his pockets to stop himself from reaching out to her. “I wasn’t sure. I knew there was a possibility, but no, I didn’t know for sure.”

Lorelei crossed her arms. “Is that why you started spending time with me? To find out, to try and get the key through me and then hand me over to your family.”

Sean shook his head. “No, no. I wanted to know you. My soulmate.” He said emphatically. “And, how do you know my family wants you?”

“I got a visit from Adalind Schade. She told me. About you, what you had ordered her to do, and warned me that your family was very interested in me. She was pretty chatty.”

“When did Adalind come here?”

“Last week, that morning before what went down at the spice shop.”

Damn it. How much had Adalind told her? Did she tell her about what had occurred the night before? That had been a big mistake, what had he been thinking? Sean sighed. “It is true that my family is interested in you, more so than your brother. They don’t care if he dies, but they want you alive.”

“Why?”

Sean rubbed his hand across his face, wondering if he should be completely honest. Considering all the lies and half-truths, Sean decided that honesty was the best idea. He sighed. “The Royal families have wanted a Grimm in their bloodlines for centuries, although they weren’t willing to sully their lines with blood from commoners. However, things have been changing, and the Royals are more open to…mingling…I don’t know for sure, but I think my family is hoping to marry you into the family, introduce the Grimm gene into the bloodline that way.”

Lorelei scoffed. “Marry me into the family?” She asked, sounding a little sceptical. “To who? You?”

Sean chuckled darkly. “No. I’m a bastard. A half-breed. They would never allow someone like me to receive such a precious gift.” Lorelei’s expression softened slightly at Sean’s self-deprecating tone.  “No, I believe they want you for my brother. He is unmarried and has no children.”

Lorelei sighed. “And I guess I wouldn’t have a say?”

Sean shook his head. “Unlikely. But I will kill my brother before I let him get his hands on you.” He told her, trying to show her without words that he loved her and would do anything to protect her.

Lorelei bit her lip and looked away for a moment before looking back at him. “Why weren’t you honest? About being wesen? Being a Royal?”

Sean shrugged. “I don’t know. I was afraid…of rejection…of you hating me.” He sighed. “By the time I met you, I had already had your aunt killed. And when I realised that my soulmate was a possible Grimm…the sister of one of my detectives…I didn’t know what to do. All I knew was that I had been waiting for so long to meet my soulmate. And I had to get close to you. I need you, Lorelei. I love you.”

Sean could see tears forming in her eyes. “I love you too.” She admitted quietly. “But you are not the person I thought you were. And…I need time.”

Sean nodded. “However long you need.” He assured her.

***Lorelei’s POV***

It had been a rough week for Lorelei. Finding out about Sean’s deception had been heartbreaking, and she had spent the week questioning their entire relationship. After a couple of days, Sean had started blowing up her phone with messages and phone calls. All asking her to talk to him, to hear him out, each voicemail, each message sounding more and more desperate. Lorelei wasn’t sure if she wanted to hear him out. What if he didn’t actually love her? What if he had only been using her to get to the key? What if he had been getting close to her with intention of handing her over to his family?

Lorelei had felt more alone than ever. No one knew about her relationship with him, so she had no one to speak to about it. A couple of times she had almost caved and told Rosalee, however she was afraid that Rosalee would tell Monroe, who would tell Nick. And Lorelei knew that Nick had formed an uneasy truce with his captain. If he were to find out about their relationship, that truce could end. Or Nick would shoot his captain. So, Lorelei continued on, without any support. She had gone to her first OBGYN appointment alone. It was determined that she was about six weeks pregnant. The OBGYN had been wonderful, very kind and understanding as Lorelei briefly explained she was in a complicated relationship with her baby daddy. They discussed her options and Lorelei confessed that going through with the pregnancy was the option she was leaning towards. Lorelei had left the appointment with a photo from her sonogram, a prescription for prenatal vitamins, and some pamphlets. She didn’t know exactly what was going to happen, but she wanted to be as prepared as possible.

That evening, Sean had shown up at her door, pleading with her to let him explain himself. She had let him, threw a dagger at him, and let him speak. By the time he left, Lorelei did believe that he was sincere, and truly did love her. However, she didn’t know if she could trust him. But she knew she would have to make a decision soon. It wouldn’t be long before she was showing, and then Nick and the gang would start asking questions. But, for the time being, she was going to keep it all to herself.

A/N: This was a short little filler chapter. It may be a while before things get back on track for our favourite couple, but they will get there in the end. I have had people question whether Sean tampered with Lorelei’s birth control. Although I toyed with the idea, and it was going to be part of something I was going to do that showed the role the soulmate connection played in the obsessive thoughts Sean had due to breaking Juliette’s coma. And, although Sean is shady enough to do something like that. I ultimately did not feel comfortable going with that story line. So, Lorelei’s pregnancy is just an accident.

I’ve also just finished up Season 2 and started Season 3. There will be around another 9 chapters before this part is finished. Lorelei will eventually get around to tell Sean, Nick, and her friends with varying reactions.

Next Part

Taglist: @zoexme

Banner by @cafekitsune

[gatsby-holmes]

I met a guy. We went out a couple times. It didn't work out, we wanted different things, he started to make decisions that weren't his to make.

I met another guy, he seems cool, he's attractive. "Isn't it too soon?" I ask myself and some close friends. "I mean, it's been only a week".

"Bela, you're young, enjoy it, don't stress so much" they say.

And I take the advice. I enjoy it, the guy is nice, he's interested, we have sex on the first (and only) date and I am aware he wants to keep things casual. I'm enjoying it, I'm ok with it. He's not a person I would like to have a relationship with but he's a person I wold enjoy seeing again.

Since we were very clear about not being serious, I keep looking for other people. I found another guy and we start talking, he's educated, he's smart, he has his own passions and hobbies and he seems actually interested in something serious. We're only texting. It suddenly looks like he stopped putting an effort into the conversation and I'll spend the next days wondering if something came up at his job or if he just lost interest.

Suddenly I get a text from the first guy. He wants me to reconsider. He had plans for us, he liked me. He says a lot and it's all about him. I don't know how to answer. I still don't.

I really wanna have sex again with the second guy. But he's distant, he's casual. "I'll make my point" I said to myself last night. I texted him, a was explicit, I said what I wanted. Only in about 5 lines of text spread in three messages, mind you, so I wasn't being the so called clinging.

"You want sex!" He replies.

"Yes, I do." I answer. "Why the surprise?" . The two are still left with only one checkmark. I sent it but he didn't receive. I don't know why. I wonder if he blocked me of maybe something came up at his job (very similar to the other guy).

And I'm left wondering. Why is it ok for a guy to express his sexual interest, but when I do, I am replied with surprise and then left unanswered?

I did it all, I did the go on dates and try to figure out if you like him (i didn't like him). I did the relax, enjoy it (and now I'm stuck with yet another example of how rules are different for men and women). I did the look for guys willing to have an actual relationship (and he didn'teven had the guts to say something).

And it simply didn't change their act route, I could be any other girl, it could happen anyway.

Maybe it would be better if I had some regret. Maybe if I felt I did something wrong. But you see, I didn't.

I ended things with the first guy before I went out with the other one.

I respected the casual thing. Didn't text often, didn't look out for conversation. The only moment I said I was upset was when he asked me out another day and then canceled last minute. And still, we talked it out. I just wanted some good sex too.

I was making an effort, trying to get to know the sweet, interesting guy. I wasn't only talking to him because we didn't even knew each other personally. I kept living my life because, well, I have a history of creating too many expectations and getting attached too soon in the texting phase. And we haven't even met personally, it wasn't a relationship. It was good talk. And he just left.

And still. Here I am.

No matter the route, I'm still here. They still made their decisions and I'm left here, unseen, upset, angry, but not regretful.

I would do it again because I opened my heart. I was brave. I tried. It wasn't all bad. It's quite the contrary, for it had so many good moments that it moved me to write. But I won't be treated like this once more, not if I can help it.

I'll be myself, I'll look out. I'll take no bullshit.

And if you're a guy, be decent, my fella. We have been through some unnecessary shit.

[astaroth1357]

When MC Won’t Pick Up the Phone

Lucifer

Usually not one to jump to any conclusions. He’ll send a text and wait an hour or two… then send another one.

If the second text goes unread then he’s calling, though.

If the call goes unanswered THEN he’s starting to worry and getting his brothers on the case.

Lucifer: Have any of you seen MC? They aren't responding to my texts…

Mammon: Did you piss them off?

Satan: I bet he pissed them off.

Levi: He's acting like a needy girlfriend, lol!

Lucifer: Care to repeat that, Levi?

Levi: Nevermind

Beel: I saw the MC in the library before I left RAD.

Lucifer: Good, bring them here and I'll take you to Madame Scream's.

Beel: On it!

Belphie: Wow, he IS needy…

Lucifer: 😡😡😡

Mammon

Mammon is a text spammer, we all know this.

Any time he sends a message, the MC has a BARE MINIMUM of five minutes to respond, if he’s lonely not even that.

If the MC misses the deadline, then they get what’s coming to them.

Mammon: Oi, MC!

Mammon: MC?

Mammon: Hey pick up!

Mammon: Are ya busy?

Mammon: I want to go shoppin!

Mammon: MC??

Mammon: Ya worryin me!!

MC: Mammon, I was taking a shower for fuck’s sake!

Mammon: Oh.

Mammon: … Need any help getting dressed?

Levi

Lowkey cyberstalker?

It’s the jealousy mostly, poor boy gets so paranoid sometimes… 

If the MC isn’t responding to his messages then he’ll start checking all of their most used social accounts to try and see if they’re online or at least were active anywhere else.

If he finds them on somewhere else, he’ll send a message there but they’ll have a bit of explaining to do for not responding to his text (Thankfully he has a hard time staying mad at them so they can get let off pretty easy with just a few “I love you”s)

If he can’t find them active anywhere then he might just… call… them… But that’s a socially anxious person’s worst nightmare so that’s his last resort!

They better pick up or he’s mobilizing the navy to go find them... Abuse of power? What does that even mean? 

Satan

Satan can be kind of hard to keep track of himself so he's more forgiving.

If he can’t get ahold of MC, then he's more likely to assume that they’re just busy and give them a few hours to respond.

If they're actually busy, then he's very lax and doesn't mind if they're a little late.

If he gets worried, he'll ask around, but he tends to air on the side of more rational explanations for their silence than jumping to conclusions.

But if they're giving him some kind of silent treatment or just didn't feel like responding… then oh boy… 

A word to the wise, don't ignore Satan. He can skip their mind, but DON'T ignore him. He doesn't react to pettiness well…

Punishment will be in order. Take your warning now.

Asmo

Honestly, even worse than Mammon.

He'll tell you that text spam is tacky, but what Asmo does isn't much better.

If the MC doesn't respond to him in the time he likes, then he'll just start texting them things. Random things.

Asmo: MC~!

Asmo: I absolutely MUST tell you about this jacket I just saw in Magolish today!!

Asmo: It's just perfect for yours truly, you HAVE to see it!

Asmo: MC?

Asmo: Hello?

Asmo: MC, you're going to miss seeing me in my jacket!!

Asmo: I also have to tell you about what Simeon did today in class when Mammon tried to pick his pocket!

Asmo: He had that idiot in an arm lock so fast Baal hadn't finished his sentence!

Asmo: MC?

If it gets too bad, they'll start getting sent selfies of a sad Asmo looking like a lost puppy without their attention…

Asmo: I'm still waiting for you to see my jacket! 😠

He rarely holds their lapses in attention against them, but he starts getting actually worried then they have better have a good reason. 😤

Beel

Honestly, he's kind of the one who's hard to get ahold of. Between practices, workouts, and the fact that he HAS accidentally eaten his phone a couple times, Beel can take a bit to get back to someone...

He's extra understanding if the MC doesn't get his messages. Never mad at all. He honestly prefers to tell them things in person anyway so it works out.

… If he can find them that is. If he hasn't seen them all day and they aren't responding then you're going to get a worried Beel.

He'll send a few more messages, make a few calls, ask his brothers what's up, that sort of thing. If all else fails, he'll go through their laundry then use his nose to sniff them out like a bloodhound.

At that point, they better be locked in a tower or something or you'll have a very upset Beel. Not mad, just upset (which could honestly be worse... Don't worry him like that! 😣)

Belphie

Think that because he's dead to the world half the day, they get to be lazy with his texts? Wrong.

Brat of the highest caliber, if he wants to hear from them then he wants to hear from them NOW. Unfortunately, he's mostly awake during the weirdest times so good luck...

Belphie: MC?

Belphie: MC? Are you awake?

Belphie: I can’t sleep.

Belphie: MC?

Belphie: MC, I'm bored…

MC: Belphie, do you know what time it is…?

Belphie: Oh good, you're awake.

MC: No thanks to you…

Belphie: Would you like to go back to sleep? Me too.

Belphie: Come up to the attic, we can sleep there together.

MC: Goodnight Belphie.

Belphie: Wait MC

Belphie: … did you just turn your phone off again?

Belphie: No fair…

[isagamis]

rewrite

genre: smut, fluff

pairings: stoner!gaara x afab!reader, shikamaru x temari, sasuke x reader, sai x ino

cw: alcohol use, drug use, choking, semi-public sex, fingering, oral (female receiving), dirty talk, v*ginal s*x, missionary, doggy style, riding, switch!gaara, switch!reader, mentions of toxic relationship, small argument, unprotected s*x, creampie, rough s*x

word count: 8.5k

"sasuke's throwing a party tonight at his place, you wanna go?"

i turn my attention away from my device and direct it towards my blonde headed roommate that was sat on the couch behind me.

"what?" i ask. to be honest i hadn't heard what she said.

"naruto just sent me the invite," temari replies, turning her phone towards me as to show proof.

"why's it as his house?" i yawn, tossing my phone to the side and leaning back to lay flat on the floor.

"i think some of the juniors got in trouble at the house on campus, and now the whole house is on some type of punishment."

i hum in response. "do you wanna go?"

"it's been awhile since we've been to one of their parties, i say we go," she suggests.

i was quiet, contemplating in my head if i wanted to go or not.

"y/n, i know what you're thinking," temari sighs. i watch as she stood from the couch and sat down at the foot of the floor length mirror we kept in the living room. i assumed she was about to start doing her makeup. "he's probably gonna be there, who cares."

"no, that's not what i was thinking about. i don't care if he's there, i’m just trying to figure out if i wanna go out tonight," i reply getting up from the floor and walking towards the kitchen.

"yeah, yeah. i’m not gonna force you to go, but i think it'll be fun," she advises, "have you even talked to him lately? he never answers my texts these days."

 i took a quick swig of water that i had left on the counter before answering, "not since we broke up a couple months ago." i tried reaching out, trust me. all of my messages just get ignored and my calls go unanswered.

i stood there a moment, just thinking. "fine, I'll go, but can we please eat first? i hate drinking on an empty stomach."

"yeah, we can, go get ready. i’ll text shikamaru to pick us up at seven thirty-ish," she yells as i walked into my bedroom.

 now, what do i wear? i don't wanna be one of those people, but fuck if he's there i want him to see me and think about how bad he fucked up. what do i have that's sexy-ish? the november air is chilly so i'll have to make something work with a pair of black jeans that i have. my fingers skim over the many fabrics hanging in my closet. they pause as they graze over a satiny black button down shirt that shows off my chest perfectly. i pull it from its hanger and slip it on over my arms, tucking the front flap into my pants to show off my waist just a bit. i look in the mirror to see if it looks decent and i realize it probably would have been better to do my makeup before putting the outfit on. i sigh and grab my eyebrow pencil in hopes i don't get any fall out on my attire.

"we're just gonna go with this and hope it works," a crimson color blended into a perfect gradient around my eyelids and a light peach tint nestled in the middle of my lips. it was enough for me to feel good about myself. 

"y/n!" temari's voice echos. she peeks her head around the threshold of my door, "shikamaru's here." i nod, slipping my feet into a pair of small platform lace up boots. i took one last look at myself in the mirror and decided to undo a few buttons to reveal my chest more, i felt better this way. i smile at my appearance, i looked and felt pretty for the first time in a while. 

"you look great, now let's go," temari says yanking my hand. 

"please, you look better than i do," i chuckle as i quickly grab my necessities from my wallet on the kitchen counter and slip them into the small wallet on my phone case. temari opens the door for us, we step through and i lock it securely behind us.

"hey, shikamaru!" i wave to the tall boy leaning against the hood of his car. his eyes preoccupied with whomever he was messaging on his phone, a cigarette lit in his free hand. his head cocks up at the sound of his name. "surprised to see you going out tonight, it's been awhile," he replies with a friendly smile and gives me a light hug.

"oh, leave her alone," temari laughs. "hey, babe," shikamaru smiles, wider this time, giving his girlfriend a quick kiss on the cheek, "you look beautiful as always."

"yeah, yeah. let's just go," she didn't like to show it, but the blush spreading across her cheeks said it all.

"oh, and sai's in the backseat with you, y/n. he asked me to pick him earlier," he says as he flicks his cigarette on the ground next to him, crushing it with his foot to put it out.

"sai goes out?" i question with the raise of an eyebrow. "yes, sai goes out!" the pale boy yells through the open window from the backseat. "i’m just messing with you," i giggle sliding in next to him.

"alright, where to?" shikamaru asks as he starts his car.

"food! please!" i groan, i hadn't eaten since breakfast. my gut was starting to give. 

"is drive thru okay with you guys?" temari questions plugging her phone into the aux. everyone nods in agreement, and with that shikamaru pulls out of the driveway.

-

"holy shit, there's so many people there already," sai says, his tone sounding shocked. i look over to him, he was on his phone watching a snapchat story from a friend that was already there.

"have you never been to one of sasuke's parties? they're always like that," i reply back to him. i figured he'd never been, but i didn't want him to think i assumed he didn't go out. 

"i've never gotten around to it, how many have you been to?"

"when i was with gaara, we'd go all the time," i explain.

"oh fuck," the spiky haired boy curses in realization, "what if he's there? will you be alright?"

i let out a nervous chuckle, "thank you for worrying, but i’ll be fine. i'm sure he's moved on." did i actually think i'd be fine if saw him?

"i don't think so," temari adds, "at least i haven't seen him with anyone."

 i shrug it off. i was here to have a good time with my friends, not for him. i had done my major sulking. our breakup was messy, the relationship itself was kind of toxic. he clearly had some issues that needed to be sorted through, and i needed to learn to stand up for myself. his drug usage didn't help either. in the end his jealousy got the better of him and he accused me of doing all sorts of things behind his back. none of which were true of course. i loved-love-gaara, i would have never done anything to hurt him. no matter how many times i tried to explain myself he was just too stubborn to listen. if i'm being honest i don't know if he ever really trusted me or anybody for that matter. when he finally decided to leave me, it tore me up for a really long time. i remember the look on his sister's face when i returned home after basically not living there for the past seven months. she was livid with him. i remember her yelling at him over the phone. threats flew left and right, but i think what really got him was her telling him that their mother would be disappointed in the man he was.

 gaara doesn't look it, but before their mom passed, he was a huge mama's boy. their parents divorced when gaara was still in high school, his father wasn't a good man so he became protective over his mom. we had just officially started dating when she died, it was so sudden and gaara was a wreck for months. he definitely should've seen a therapist for the grief, but i digress. it is what it is now and i can't change anything that happened. i did all i could do to try and get him back. sometimes seeing temari and shikamaru together makes me miss him, but those thoughts are just going to have to be pushed to the back of my mind for now.

"i won't say from who, but i hear sasuke's into you," shikamaru pulls me from my thoughts, he playfully smirks at me through the rear view mirror. 

"oh really now?" my voice syncing with the bewildered look on my face.

"oh, y/n please don't," temari's voice is laced with disgust, "sasuke? i'd rather you just get back with my brother." 

a light silence fell over the car for a moment. 

"i think i'm gonna hook up with someone tonight," i spoke aloud. 

"woah!" shikamaru says in a jokingly dramatic manner. 

"y'know what y/n? i think you should," sai grins at me. 

"see! sai has my back," i laugh. 

"as long as they're cute and it isn't sasuke and, god forbid, gaara," temari eyes me. i think she knew i wanted to. 

-

 "oh fuck, where are we supposed to park?" shikamaru questions as his eyes scan the line of cars outside the famous duo's shared home. 

 "pull into the side right here," i say pointing at the side of the house that was basked in shadows. he did as told and we all got out. nearly everyone from their frat was here from what i could recognize. 

"do you think ino will be here?" sai asks, a clear blush on his cheeks. "yeah, she's coming, i talked to her earlier," temari answers, "just ask her out already it's so obvious you like her."

"what? uh-"

"cmon, lover boy, don't deny it," shikamaru snickers, hitting the back of sai's head, "anyways, let's go inside."

 i trail behind them, taking in our surroundings. once inside, a beer pong table was stationed in the middle of the floor, all the furniture had been pushed to the walls to make room for it. naruto and sasuke were playing a one on one, surprisingly it looked like naruto was winning. they were arguing as always. loud music was blaring through the whole house, and it seemed like each room was pretty packed.

"shikamaru!" a familiar cheery voice calls, it was kiba. it had been a while since i'd seen him. his hair was already past his ears.

"hey! you and i next game," kiba says pointing at me.

“me?" i raise an eyebrow. it had been awhile since i played, i was probably rusty. "maybe after i have a few drinks."

"i'm holding you to it!" he grins, flashing that childlike smile he's always had.

i stood with my friends for a bit, catching up on what's been going on with them. occasionally cheering on the energetic yellow haired boy during his game. i check the time on my phone and realize i had been here thirty minutes already and hadn't gotten a drink yet.

"i'll be right back, i'm gonna go get a drink," i yell over the music to my blonde best friend next to me. as i turn on my heel, my shoulder bumps into someone. 

"oh, sorry," i look up to see the quote on quote "mystery boy" every freshman girl swoons over, "oh, hey sasuke." shikamaru's words from earlier rung through my ears. sasuke was attractive, and word around the sororities was that he was amazing in bed. i was highly considering it, we were friends, surely it wouldn't be weird. 

"hey, y/n," he smiles, his eyes glance down at my empty hands, "you want a drink?" i nodded with a small smile. 

 i follow in toe as we walk to the kitchen together. as soon as i cross the threshold, my eyes immediately spot him. he’s leaning up against the kitchen counter. one hand resting on the counter, the other holding a bottle of beer. that forehead tattoo looks as stupid as it did when he first got it along with that dumb black eyeliner he always has on. it looked like he'd gotten more tattoos on his left arm as well, forming a patchwork sleeve. he looked so stupid, but god he looked so sexy. it angered me that our styles still clashed though. of course he'd wear something that nearly matched my own outfit. a somewhat fitted black t-shirt hugged his torso, the sleeves rolled up just a little bit, scrunched up above a pair of black straight legged jeans. i roll my eyes. i'm not here for him, i remind myself. 

 the cooler just had to be at his feet. he seems too enthralled in whatever he and his brother are talking about to notice us. sasuke opens it and passes me a seltzer, he grabs a bottle for himself as well. just when i think we're in the clear, a tipsy voice calls out my name. i turn around slowly to see kankuro stupidly waving at me and gaara staring dead at sasuke. i forgot how strong his dislike for him was. if it weren't for naruto, he wouldn't even attend these parties. they just never seemed to get along. 

"uh, i'll catch up with you in a sec, let me just say hi to kankuro real quick," please don't do anything to provoke him, please don't do it.

"okay, don't take too long though," he winks at me turns his head slightly to give gaara a very clear smirk. oh fuck me, i just said don't do that.

i mentally face palmed at sasuke's actions. he knew what he was doing. 

"hey.." i greet them nervously.

"how you been? i haven't seen you in forever," he cheers, hugging me tightly in the process. kankuro had always been friendly with me, we had gotten super close when i was with gaara.

"i've been fine," i reply opening my drink and taking a quick sip.

 seeing my ex boyfriend up close now, it seemed he's changed a bit. his fiery red hair fell messily just below his ears. a shiny silver piercing sat on his right brow bone along with a small stud in his nose. rings decorated his fingers alongside the spider tattoo that covered the back of his right hand. he's making it so hard for me not to just pull him into a back room and let him have his way with me. i know that's just the loneliness thinking though, if all goes well with sasuke tonight then i won't have to worry about it anymore. his grey irises couldn't hide the red veins that protruded from the corners of his eyes. he had been smoking. 

 i snap myself out of whatever trance he had me in and honed in on what kankuro was going on about. gaara had yet to say anything to me, i could see him eyeing me up and down though. i couldn't read his face, then again i've never really been able to. 

"anyways, you and temari can come by the house whenever, i miss us hanging out," the red head shot his brother a sharp look nearly choking on his drink. i'm not sure why though, gaara lives alone, it's not like he would see me. maybe he just wasn't expecting him to say that. 

"yeah, i'll have to talk to her about it, but i miss us hanging out too," i comfort the poor drunk, "i should get back to my friends, i think sasuke was wanting to play a round with me. i'll see you later." kankuro gave me a slurred 'bye' as i awkwardly walked away. 

-

"kiba, you really like to call yourself the king of this game, but goddamn are you losing terribly to us," i burst into laughter. kiba and naruto challenged sasuke and i and jesus christ was that a huge mistake. they were just downing drink after drink as we kept sinking the ping pong balls.

"shut up, y/n. i'm only going easy on you two," the brown headed boy defends as he misses yet another cup.

"please, you know i'm better than you any day," i retort as i sink the very last cup earning a congratulatory high five from my partner and receiving a middle finger from our opponents.

"for you, my partner in crime," sasuke grins as he hands me another hard seltzer can. i gratefully accept it, high off the win we just had. there're so many more people packed into the crowd than there were earlier. i've had a few to drink at this point and it's starting to hit me slowly. 

mr. mystery leans down to whisper in my ear,"we can go dance if you'd like." i can feel butterflies in my belly by the tone he's using. 

 i take a sip of my drink before answering, but there he was again out of the corner of my eye, leaning against the support beam closest to the entrance of the kitchen. arms crossed and a stern glare on his face. almost like he was jealous. no he was definitely jealous, and getting angry judging by how he was chewing on his cheek. i was just about to give the boy next to me answer before we're interrupted. 

"hey, sasuke, i think someone let your dog out," naruto treads toward us, his hand rubbing the back of his neck nervously. he's absolutely the one that let the dog out. 

"goddamnit," he curses, he turns to me before walking to inspect the situation, "i'll be right back i promise." 

 my eyes shift to gaara immediately, i know he'll fight if he gets mad enough. i watch as he moves from his spot and starts heading down the hall.

"hey, i'll be back," i turn to temari, "i have to pee." i leave my half empty drink on the table in front of me, walking towards the direction gaara was going. he surprisingly wasn't following sasuke, he had gone the opposite way actually. i push past all the party goers that are crowding the hall until i reach the door at the very end. my ear presses up against the wooden door and listens closely to make sure i wasn't interrupting anyone. no noise, good to go. with a swift swing of the door, i enter and shut it behind me. a sigh of relief escapes my lips, crisis avoided. now i could  finally have a little moment to myself. that was until i opened my eyes. 

"oh, how classy," i announce to the sight in front of me.

gaara was crouched over the bathroom counter, a rolled dollar bill to his nose and white lines sat divided on the back of his phone. i don't even think he heard me come in. i watch as he stands up straight, throwing his head back and rubbing his nose.

"oh, please, don't give me that shit," he sneers.

"can't say i'm surprised," i huff in response.

"what do you want from me, y/n?" gaara interrogates, leaning on the counter and looking at himself in the mirror.

"i don't want anything from you, gaara," i spit his name out like it was poison on my tongue.

he scoffs as he turns to face the wall, arms crossed. "why'd you come tonight?"

"why does it matter?"

"i don't know, just seems like you're trying to make me jealous."

my eyes roll in annoyance, "please, you're insane."

"so then what's going on with sasuke?"

"why does it matter?" my voice raises, i know this is the reaction he wants, but i'm too frustrated to care, "you broke up with me! why do you care about what i'm doing?" 

i could see his jaw clench from where i stood.

"i look hot, i feel hot, so why not?" i know i had to be pushing some of his buttons, "i was told sasuke was interested so i went along with it."

"that's enough," he was getting angry. his eyes felt like daggers tearing at my skin the way they peered into mine.

"i'm sure he's a better fuck any-" i was cut off by gaara's arms pulling me from where i stood and shoving me against the wall.

"i said that's enough," he breathes heavily against my neck, ''you never know when to shut the fuck up."

i felt a ping in my stomach as he said the last part, not because it hurt but because he was so hot when he was pissed off. his face was so close to mine. if only he would lean in a little more.

i smirk, my eyes darting to his lips and back up to meet his gaze, "you wanna kiss me so bad, it makes you look fucking stupid." i know i shouldn't be doing this, but he's just so intoxicating i can't help it.

"you are such a bitch," he spat out before suddenly grabbing me by the neck and pulling my lips to his. the metal of his rings was so cold against my skin it sent shivers down my spine. he kisses me so harshly, but so desperately. his hands grab at me like he didn't know where to touch me first. it was like i was made of sand and if he didn't grasp at every part of me, i would just slip through his fingertips. 

"fuck, i missed this so much," he breathes as his mouth attaches to my neck. 

"looking a bit desperate aren't we?" i tease, probably crossing a line with that one.  

"i really couldn't give a fuck," he nearly whines, his fingers finally making their way up my shirt. his skin was hot to the touch on mine. each graze of his fingertips leaves a trail of goosebumps across my waist.  i let out a deep sigh at the feeling of him touching me, i had been yearning for this since we broke up. we shouldn't even be doing this right now, it made no sense. he broke up with me and then just completely ghosted me. i shouldn't be giving him the satisfaction of being with me again. i'll beat myself up about it tomorrow, for now i just need to soak this in.

"can i touch you here?" he whispers against my skin, his hand grazing over the zipper of my pants.

"please, " i lightly beg. his hands were swift in unbuttoning my jeans. he slowly makes his way under the thin fabric of my panties and slips his finger into my slit. i've been squeezing my thighs together for the past five minutes to relieve the pressure building up. i know he can feel my arousal. 

 "fuck, so wet," his lips were leaving sloppy open mouthed kisses on my neck, "can i eat you out here?" his middle finger rubbed me up and down. 

 "i would much rather do this at your place," i was not going to chance someone walking in on us, how embarrassing that would be. 

 "i was hoping you would say that," he smirks at me. he gives me a small kiss on my cheek before zipping my pants back up for me.  

 he grabs my hand and leads me out of the bathroom. i check my phone quickly to see the time, ten o' clock, and the party was still so crowded. i hoped nobody would spot us leaving together, but it looked like everyone was preoccupied with naruto doing keg stands on his back deck. i felt a little bad leaving sasuke high and dry, but i know for sure there's plenty of girls at this party that want to fuck him, he'll be fine.

"i wonder what happened to sai," i thought out loud. i hadn't seen him since we got here.

"sai?" gaara questions, probably confused as to why he was there.

"yeah, he rode with us, i haven-" i cut myself off at the sight in front of us. the blonde, long haired girl in front of me was pressed against the wall sucking face with the shy pale boy i came here with. "oh, shit," i laugh. sai's head immediately snaps to the direction of my voice. a deep red washing over his cheeks. "i won't tell if you won't," i add. he nods nervously. "be safe you two." gaara laughs at the sight of the two together, "was not expecting that." i shake my head at him and follow behind as he leads me to his car. the familiar blacked out 240 soon comes into view.

"here," gaara says opening the passenger side door for me. "thank yo-wait are you good to drive?" i question knowing he had some to drink along with the drugs he took earlier.

"yeah, babe, i'm fine," he says nonchalantly, "plus i live just a few minutes away, remember?" a blush creeps onto my cheeks at the nickname. he knew what he was doing. 

"gaara!" a voice interrupts my thoughts. it was naruto, jogging straight to us.

"y/n?" the blonde boy raises a brow at me, "anyways, gaara, do you have any extra wraps?"

"yeah, hold on," the red head responds, reaching over my legs to open the glove box through the window. he pulls out two swisher packets and hands them to his friend. "thanks!" naruto bubbles, "oh and i won't tell temari." leaving us with a wink, he runs back up to join the party. gaara chuckled as he sits in the driver's seat, "what's temari gonna do?"

"kill me, is what she's gonna do," i reply.

he just shakes his head, starting the car and pulling out of driveway. 

-

 i had forgotten what it was like to ride with gaara. he always drove just a little too fast. his left hand gripped the steering wheel, the other on the stick shift. his window was rolled down just enough for the wind to brush through his hair. i watch longingly as he sings along to the music that was blaring.the glow of his interior lights hits the contours of his face perfectly. he just looked so good. for a moment i wonder if he had been with anyone else when we were apart. if any other girl had sat on this seat and seen this same view while he took them to his place to hook up. oh, what am i saying. it shouldn't matter we're broken up, he can be with whoever he wants. i'm not going to lie and say it doesn't suck to think about though. 

 before i knew it, we were pulling into his own driveway. that's when it hit me. am i really about to hook up with my ex? what's the worst that could happen? sex was sex, this was probably just going to be a one time thing, and then we'd never talk again. i follow gaara with my eyes as he got out and comes around to open the door for me. he immediately grabs my hand and rushes us to the front door. his fingers fiddle with his keys before unlocking the door, pulling both of us in and locking the door. his eyes grew dark as the tension set it in.

"you wanna smoke?" he asks setting his keys down and grabbing a packet of swishers from the kitchen counter.

"sure," i let out a sigh of relief, knowing the weed would settle my nerves.

 he leads me to his bedroom, it was cleaner than it used to be. clothes weren't scattered all over the floor like they were when i was staying here. red lights were placed in a couple of corners, adding to the ambiance. i sat on his bed, slipping off my shoes and crossing my legs on the mattress. gaara walks over to his desk to grab his small rolling tray and brought it over to the bed. as his fingers worked to break down the flower, i took a long look around his room. it was pretty much the same since i had last been here. band posters scattered the walls, photos of friends taped up beside them. soft blankets laid across his bed atop black sheets. i fell back onto the pillows behind me, staring at the ceiling, and taking a deep breath.

"what?" the red head laughs, spreading the broken up bits of cannabis into the wrap.

"nothing, i just don't know why i'm here."

"i'm not holding you hostage, you can go whenever."

i lift my head only to add a pillow for support so i could see him better, "do you want me to go?"

he turns his attention to me, his eyes are soft, "no, i don't." his words comfort. i shouldn't let them, but i've missed him too much to care.

"put some music on, it's too quiet," he says motioning to his laptop on the bedside table.

 i reach over and opened it up, hitting shuffle on his library. as the music played i became mesmerized in the way gaara rolled his blunt. my eyes watch intently as his fingers work smoothly to roll. his tongue slowly licks along the edge to seal it. his hand brought up a red lighter to make sure it was sealed properly. with that he brought it to his lips and flicked the lighter. he took in a long inhale to get it started and then passes it to me between his two fingers. i took it between my own and lean back, one arm behind my head for support. i brought it to my lips and inhale deeply. the smoke filling my lungs completely. gaara rid himself of his shoes and laid next to me. leaving a bit of space, unsure if i wanted him closer. i exhale slowly, watching the smoke dance around and eventually dissipate into the air. passing it back to him, i notice his eyes were already heavy. a glaze set over them.

"stop staring," he jabs playfully.

"please, like you haven't been staring at me all night," i reply hitting his arm.

his head turns to look at me, "c'mere." i lean into him, his hand comes around to caress my head. my lips part as gaara exhales into my mouth, lips grazing mine gently. grey eyes gazing into mine. i once again inhale the smoke as he watches, my head starting to feel light.

kiss him.

i close a bit of the little space that was left between us.

"can i touch you?" he asks tenderly, i nod in response. his fingertips grazed over the exposed skin of my waist where my shirt had ruffled up, "you look beautiful."

 another light blush blooms over my cheeks. i brought my finger up to trace over the new tattoos that littered his arms, his skin was soft and warm. without a warning, he pulls my face to his by my chin and attaches his lips to mine. this kiss was different than the last. less anger, more pent up emotion. he adjusts himself to hover over me, his left hand putting the blunt still between his fingers in the ashtray next to the bed. his other hand presses against the pillow beside my neck.

"i'm sorry for everything, really, please let me make it up to you," he pleads in a whisper against my lips. 

"okay." please don't be lying.

 he settles himself between my legs, a wandering hand travels up and down my waist. his tongue pushing into my mouth. with them still connected to mine, he works at the button on my pants. he sat to his knees and pulls them off in one swift motion, ridding himself of his shirt in the process. he had definitely been working out because he wasn't this toned when we were together, there's more of a thickness as well. the creases in his abdomen showed off a very subtle six pack. a light v-line etched into his lower torso. i bit my lip lightly at how sexy he looked. the red lights in the room casted all the right shadows across his body. gaara leaned back down to pepper kisses across my neck. his fingers fiddle with the top few buttons on my shirt, opening it just enough to gain access to my chest. hands immediately grab at my breasts, massaging lightly, earning a small whine from me. the red head smiled to himself, he loved the little noises i made. wet lips trail down my chest, nipping here and there. i pull the fabric of my shirt up a bit to give him more skin to graze. his tongue starts to make small circles on my stomach. two fingers hook onto my underwear, pulling them down gently. i adjust myself to get a little more comfortable. his warm breath fanned over me, worsening my already apparent arousal. he brought himself back up to eye level to give me a tender kiss, his slender finger dragging achingly slow on my outer fold. 

"please, stop teasing," i beg, practically breathless.

"what do you want me to do baby? use your words," he replies innocently, kissing along my collarbones. "eat me out," i pleaded trying to push him back down, "please"

"that's all you had to say," a smirk evident in his tone.

 his hands find their way to the back of my thighs and give them a slight push to open me up. his head dips down to leave wet kisses around my slit. his eyes dart to my face as his thumbs pull apart my outer lips. a gentle lick to my clit, and i completely melt underneath him. i throw my head back and grab at his hair. that single touch felt like a million volts of electricity had been sent surging through my body. he laps his tongue at my clit, circling around it before bringing it to my entrance. sliding it in and out, coaxing a moan from me. my juices coating his tongue. he had single-handedly corrupted every single nerve ending, and my body couldn't do anything but tremble. 

"so sweet," he murmurs against me, complimenting my taste.

"fuck," i breath as he circles my clit once more. my hand grips his hair a little tighter. i had never had anyone pleasure me the way he did, it was unbelievable. the wave of euphoria that washed over me was unmatchable. his tongue just forms perfectly to me, it takes me by surprise now just like it did when we were together. 

 i look down at him only to be met with his already staring at me. the intimacy makes my head fall back on the pillows, my back arches as if on cue. gaara knows how much i was enjoying it. he started to give my clit a light suck to see how i reacted. as expected, a drawn out 'gaara' slips from my tongue as my chest starts to heave. he kept at it, alternating between hard sucks and light licking. my hand that wasn't clasped to his hair massaged my breast, bringing my nipple between my fingers. he watches intently at my pathetic attempt to stimulate myself more. that was it for him, he needed to be inside me. he detached himself from the sensitive bud. i whine as i felt the tension that had been building in my gut the past few minutes disappear into nothing. 

"you taste as good as always," he whispers against my belly, his hands working to get his pants off.

"and you were just as good as you used to be," i chuckle.

"what should we do now?" he hums against my neck. his clothed dick pressed against my clit. "you wanna ride me or do you want me to fuck you?"

my hand rests on the side of his head as he kisses my neck. suddenly, my mind went back to that thought of him being with anyone else in this room. i had to ask him, if i didn't i'd think about it the whole time we were together tonight. i can't get upset if he has been with someone though. we're grown adults that were broken up for a while and lived our own lives. i cannot get mad. 

"gaara?" 

"yes?" he replies, detaching his lips from my neck to look me in the eyes.

"did you sleep with anyone else while we were apart?" i search his eyes for an obvious answer, he's always been good at hiding things.

"you want the truth?" i hesitantly nod my head.

"i tried, but i couldn't ever bring them home," he sighs, "i found myself looking for you in them."

"yeah, same here, i couldn't get over that it wasn't you," it felt like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders. it made me feel less lonely that he felt the same. 

"i don't think i would ever be able to replace you," he coos, his hand holding my chin gently. his eyes glance down to my lips before pressing his own against them. 

"can i ride you?" i mutter against them, a new found confidence entering.

"please," gaara whines in response. 

he removes himself from me to sit up against the wall. i quickly straddle him, not yet allowing him inside. i finish unbuttoning my shirt that already had apparent wrinkles all over. i toss it on the floor next to us. the red head's hands desperately grab at my waist to pull me down onto him. i immediately swat them away.

"ah, ah, ah," i whisper holding his hands together, "no touching."

"okay," he submits right away. those stupid little doe eyes he's giving me, i could do whatever i wanted to him. i haven't been able to see him like this in so long. the excitement is going straight to my clit, and i want nothing more than for him to be inside of me. 

"please, just fuck me already," he whimpers, his hips rutting up against mine. i can feel how hard he is against me, and i can't wait to see his face once he slips inside. 

 i let go of his hands to position myself to free him of his boxers. i pull them off slowly, his cock subtly revealing itself. i salivate at the sight of the leaking precum that drips from his angry red tip. gaara groans at the release of pressure. i straddle him once more, grabbing his wrists and pinning them together with one hand against the wall above his head. with the other, i held his cock up straight to lower myself onto the tip. a breath hitches in my throat as he opens me up, gaara’s breathing heavily in front of me. i sit up straight so i can watch his face. my cunt slowly sucks him in, i watch as gaara's mouth falls open and his eyes squeeze shut. 

"fuck," he finally gets out, "so-o warm." 

 i moan as his tip rests against my g-spot. i sit there for a good few seconds to enjoy being on top of him, my muscles contract around him causing him to squirm a bit. he wants to touch me so bad, but i’m not sure i want to give him that freedom yet. the way he's rolling his chest to just get a graze of mine is pathetic, and i’m definitely getting off on it. i lean into him to give him a bit of relief, my face hanging directly over his. his forehead is synches in the middle and his bottom lip is trapped between his teeth, he's struggling to keep it together. 

"do you want me to move, baby?" i whisper. all he can do is nod his head rapidly. 

 with his cue, i slowly lift my hips up and then slide back down. his wrists struggle against my hands at the move of my hips. whimpers spill from his tongue, he’s putty in my hands at this point.

"y/n, please let me touch you, i'm begging," he begs against my lips, "please this is killing me."

 i laugh at his desperate plea. for a second i consider keeping him this way, but the feeling of his hands all over me entices me more. my grip loosens and his hand slips away and attaches to the sides of my face. he kisses me so deeply, like he was pouring every single emotion into it. his right hand then makes its way to caress my back and pull me tighter to him. my hips move again, more in a grinding motion this time. gaara moans into my mouth at the feeling. my now free hands latches onto his hair. his other hand that was still holding my cheek moves down to my hip, it rests there with a tight squeeze. my lips part from his to let the sound of his name through, all he can do is stare at me in awe. 

"you look so beautiful," he coos.

 his left hand guides my hips to start bouncing instead of the steady grinding i was doing. i follow with no problem. gaara's chest began to heave at the feeling of me wrapped around him, he buries his head in my neck and lets out a flood of whines mixed in with some moans. i can feel his pelvis start to join the rhythm of my bouncing, meeting at just the right spot. my head falls back at the sensation. the tip of his cock is hitting my sweet spot with every downward movement. that euphoric feeling that he ignited in me earlier slowly makes its way back. gaara detaches himself from my neck, there’s definitely going to be some bruises there tomorrow. "you feel so fucking good, babe."

"yeah?" i breathe. i guide his head so that i can kiss him again. his eyeliner starts to smudge a bit from the sweat that’s building up on his forehead. 

"can i fuck you?" he asks between heavy breaths. 

"please."

 he wastes no time in rolling us over so that i’m now on my back. i can’t stop kissing him. his lips are just the right amount of poison, enough for me to feel the effect but not enough to kill me. i can never get enough. he doesn’t start thrusting right away. instead, his head dips down to my chest and his mouth latches onto my right nipple.

"fuck!" i gasp out sharply, my back arching into his body. his eyes watch me again. studying the faces i make, the sounds i let escape my mouth. all of it was so enticing to him. 

"you're always so good for me," he praises, “you want me to make you cum, yeah?"

"please-" a whine interrupts me due to his teeth trapping my nipple between them, "gaara, please." 

 with no warning he flips me over onto my belly, and yanks my hips upwards so my ass was in the air. whatever bit of submissiveness he had in him earlier has deteriorated to dust now. he guides his dick to my soaking cunt. his tip teases my clit as he rubs it over the swollen bud. my body jolts at the contact, a moan coming directly after.

"your pussy is practically begging for me to fuck it," his complete change in demeanor stuns me. now i see why he let me have control over him earlier...i feel like i'm about to pay for everything i said back at the party. he bites back a moan at how wet i am. his left hand is gripping my hip tightly, i pray i don’t wake up with purple marks there tomorrow. his right hand holds his cock as he shoves it into me, my walls already suffocating his shaft.

"god, fuck, you're so tight," he curses under his breath.

 gaara instantly starts pumping into me, his right hand now on the other side of my hip to pull my ass into him with each thrust. all i can do was moan. the sensation of him stretching me this harshly was already becoming too much for me to handle. 

"fuck, gaara," i groan a little too quietly for gaara's liking.

"you should be louder, baby," he suggests, leaning down to whisper into my ear, "you weren't quiet when you were bitchin' at me earlier, why be silent now?"

i roll my eyes at his cockiness. he knows i'd obey him. his hand comes up to my head, gripping the hair at the base of my head and pulling it towards him.

"i said be louder, baby," he growls through gritted teeth.

 and just like that, a deep moan creeps from my mouth. gaara let go of my hair with a hard push into the pillows. he’s now holding my head down as his thrusts get deeper. tears prick my eyes at the pressure on my cunt and on my head. they hurt but in the best way possible.

"fuck, you feel so good," he moans, a sweat gathers above his brow bone. "am i making you feel good, baby?"

"y-yes, sir," i cry, the pleasure inside me builds up immensely. 

"ah, fuck," he groans at the title i give him.

with each thrust he gives me, i feel him get deeper and deeper. the way he’s fucking me makes me feel like i’m on an entirely different planet. this was so intense. he's nev-

smack!

 a hard slap to my ass interrupts my thoughts, and i immediately let out a high pitched yelp. he’s going all in, maybe he was thinking this would be the last time, he must feel the need to impress me.

"you think sasuke could fuck you like this?" he spits into my ear. 

"what if i say yes?" i challenge. i would never think that, but seeing him get angry over it is fucking hot.

"oh you've done it now," he fumes. his hand comes up from my head so that he could flip me onto my back. my legs pulled apart and held back by his hands. i thought his thrusts were hard before, but they were even more rough now. it feels like he’s kissing my cervix with every snap of his hips. i throw my head back, panting like a dog. my lungs feel like they’re on fire.

 his right hand leaves my leg and wraps around my throat, giving it a nice squeeze. my hands clutch his wrist. i finally get a good look at his face again. his eyeliner is smudged and running slightly down his eyes. the hairs on his forehead stick to his skin with sweat. his bottom lip is held hostage by his teeth.

"is this better for you, slut?" he asks in a condescending tone. his head is beside mine, his fingers are gripping my throat tighter. i nod, squeezing my walls around him purposely, his face scrunches at the feeling.

 with his hips slamming into mine, my clit was aching to be touched. it was as if he read my mind because his free thumb finds its way to it, rubbing little circles to stimulate. my eyes roll back at the intensity, i don’t know how much longer i can hold off my release.

"you look so pretty when you're being fucked like this," gaara compliments, his low voice rattling my spine. his own orgasm on the brink of exploding. we were both just ticking time bombs waiting to set each other off at this point.

 he releases his hand from my throat to massage my chest. my own hands find his face to pull him into a kiss. my tongue enters his mouth, mixing with his own. he moans into my mouth at the taste of me. if he wasn't intoxicated before, he most definitely was now. my taste, my touch, everything, it was all so addicting to him. i hope he’s never able to get enough of me. getting burnt out from each other because of that is a risk, but i think we’re both willing to take it again. 

 i can feel my orgasm at its limit, it’ll wash over me any second now. his feels like it is as well because his thrusts are getting sloppy. gaara pulls his lips from mine, “i wanna see you when you cum, baby.” 

i pull my lip between my teeth and let out a whimper at his words. his thumb is still working my clit, and he’s looking directly into my eyes. my breath hitches in my throat as i feel it swallow my body. my mouth falls open as my whole body tenses up. 

"fuck, gaara, i’m—,” my hands grip onto his back. my nails are digging into his skin hard enough to probably draw blood. i can’t think straight, and my breath is so uneven it feels like i’ll never catch it. 

"y/n, ah, f-fuck," he groans into my neck. the convulsion of my walls around him was too much. his eyes zip tight together as his own orgasm hits him. a whimper escapes his lips, the feeling of his seed spilling into me becomes too overwhelming for him to hold back. his chest begins to heave as he tries to catch his breath. his thrusts slowed as he filled me. my arm covered my eyes as i tried to catch my breath. gaara pulls out of me slowly, leaving wet kisses all over my abdomen and chest. my mind finally clears as i process what just happened.

"gaara," his eyes meet mine at the sound of his name, "what're we doing?"

he laughes unsure of what this was himself.

"you don't have to stay, i just wanted to start making up my wrong doings," he says as he lays next to me on his stomach, his arms crossed and his head resting on them. it gets quiet. i contemplate what to do next as i stare at the ceiling.

"although, if you do decide to stay, i promise it'll be different from last time," his eyes are endearing, "i’ll work on my issues."

my eyes narrow at him, "and how do i know you're telling the truth?"

he props his head up on his hand to look at me better and pulls my hand into his, "because i love you."

"because I think it's supposed to be us."

he was serious, this wasn't the drugs talking this was purely gaara.

"fine, but one fuck up, and i'm gone," i reply holding my pinky out, "that is my condition."

gaara laughs and grabbs my pinky with his, "deal."

he leans down to kiss me once more, a smile creeping on his lips as he does. 

“oh, fuck,” i disrupt, he looks confused, “temari is gonna be pissed.” 

“i am so glad i am not the one that lives with her.” 

“oh, fuck you,” i sit up and toss a pillow over his face. 

“babe,” he snorts, “you already did.” 

[i-did-not-mean-to]

‘twas a lark (or a nightingale?) - Chapter 10

Previous chapters

Thanks to @mismaeve coming back to us, I have found the motivation to post another chapter tonight :D Nice Elrond, stupid Lindir, annoyed Ann'...Have fun :D

@eunoiaastralwings, @mismaeve,@self-conscious-author, @heilith

Words: 1.5 k

Warnings: Cursing, slight nudity, a tad of annoyance

Ann’ cocked her head and waited; she was almost certain that Lindir had gone home, but she wanted to find out how much Legolas knew and how he had come by that intuition.

“She’s getting the usual roster and has to amend it,” Ann’ informed him, “so, it might be a moment. Tell me, who is said crush and where are they now?”

Legolas grinned broadly and looked around before musing: “He’s left you high and dry, huh? You know very well who I am talking about; he’s in some witchy cottage just outside of town. Very dreamy.”

Ann’ blinked; Lú’s brother had not struck her as the kind of man who was impressed with tiny cottages surrounded by wild flora.

“Lindir?” she asked breathlessly; she had not been sure if Lú had merely tried to be contrary and prove her wrong or if she was genuinely convinced that Lindir was worth a second look.

“Yes, stupid Lindir,” Legolas huffed, “sitting in his cottage and refusing to open his door.”

“Why would he open his door? What door? Who?” Lú strode back in – looking harried and wide-eyed with stress – as she shot questions at her brother before freezing.

“What are you doing here? What is going on? What have you done?”

Lindir stared at his screen; 34 % battery, maybe he should plug it in, but he was not sure that he hadn’t forgotten the cable at work.

Leaving had not made him any less miserable; if he had missed Lú in the bustling crowd of customers, he certainly longed for her twice as much in the deafening silence of this place that was his own without ever having become his home.

Just like him, it was a solid investment but ultimately too plain and uninteresting to really attract anybody’s lingering fondness.

Ann’ had called twice the previous evening and once more before the morning shift; she’d probably be pissed at him as well, Lindir thought, but he didn’t have the courage to call her back and get an earful about how work was a mess or – much worse – how she and Lú had had a good laugh about his little show of idiocy.

Ah, the way that man had laughed about his use of the word ‘date’ – as if he had made an exquisite joke he was unfortunately not in on himself – and the fact that Lú had not denied it kept haunting him; the very memory of every word spoken – burned indelibly into his brain – mocked him by playing on repeat in his mind.

Had it been a date? What had it been if not that?

The dress she had been wearing was brand-new, there was no doubt about it, and she had never looked so lovely before; whatever would she doll herself up for if not for the dinner with this handsome rich kid she had known all her life?

Nobody had made an effort like that for him; his former girlfriends – few and far in the past now – had mostly acted as if they were to be awarded for the kindness of their heart whenever they treated him with any semblance of affection.

Like a begging dog, the last one had sneered, always looking for scraps, ever nudging my hand to be petted, it’s damn annoying.

The text message from Elrond asking him if he expected to stay away another day went unanswered as well for the time being, as Lindir cradled his head in his hands and sighed.

“I might have followed your boss yesterday,” Legolas admitted, so used to working with Lú that he automatically helped laying the tables as they spoke.

“You…what?” Lú froze, a knife threateningly trembling in her clenched fist.

“I just wanted to make sure nothing happened to him,” her brother promised, “he looked unwell…and I felt guilty.”

Ann’ was keeping her distance, feeling that this was a conversation she had no place in.

“Listen, you are aware that people might think us a couple, right?” Legolas asked Lú earnestly as he grabbed her by the shoulders tenderly, “People who don’t know us, people we don’t want to know?”

Lú seemed to ponder this for a moment before mumbling ‘I guess’ without much conviction.

“I admit that I’ve never minded people thinking that, it creates a breathing bubble for me and a safety net for you, but…” Legolas’ face puckered in concentration, “it’s only okay as long as we’re not keeping anyone away who would have been welcome.”

He wrestled the knife out of his sister’s cold, clammy hand and kissed her brow lovingly.

“I feel like that Lindir would have been welcome,” he sighed, “am I wrong?”

“He’s my boss,” Lú repeated her previous defence.

“He’s in pain, that’s what he is,” Legolas whispered into her ear, “and he really looks as if he could do with a hug. So, what’s your plan?”

“I don’t have a plan,” Lú admitted morosely.

“You,” Legolas turned back to Ann’ and waved her closer, “do you have one?”

Ideas flashed through her head, but she didn’t know how to get to Lindir and she still hoped that he’d call or come back.

“If this was me,” Legolas asked Lú, “what would you do?”

“I’d give you a day,” she answered immediately, “and then, I’ll come get you.”

“Right,” Legolas laughed and looked to Ann’ for her approving nod, “we’ll give him until after the dinner service; I’ll ask dad for his car – mine is not to be trusted – and I’ll come back after dinner. If he’s not back by then, we’ll go get him.”

Ann’ could understand why Lú loved him so much and she could appreciate how well they worked together.

“Your father would give you his car to go hunt down the renegade employee of his rival?” she asked provocatively as if to test Legolas.

“My father would do anything to make Lú happy,” Legolas replied instantly with such sincerity that Ann’ could but believe him, “and he’s taught me to take responsibility for my mistakes.”

“After dinner service,” Lú whispered, staring longingly at the door.

She had never been looking forward so little to any shift than this, but the only way forward was straight through it.

Yes, not coming back until tomorrow. Back for lunch service though.

Lindir sincerely hoped that Elrond would not be too angry.

Are you okay, kid?

Of course he wasn’t, Elrond never was.

Lindir wanted to say ‘no’, he yearned to be honest with someone, but he was too ashamed of himself to unload his grievances on his boss’s shoulders.

Quite. Just needed some time off.

He knew that he was lying, and he felt despicable, but what was he to say? That he had – maybe, probably, undoubtedly – fallen a little bit for a co-worker who, like any woman of her age and her beauty, already loved somebody else?

Why prolong and deepen the humiliation and the pain?

“You’re off to see Lindir?” Elrond stood in the door, watching his two second-best employees pile into an expensive sportscar to go retrieve his – undeniably – best worker.

“Yes,” Legolas called from the open window, “if possible, somehow, I’ll bring all of them back.”

Elrond merely nodded; he saw so much of Thranduil – wild, eager, and recklessly brave – in his son; they were both loyal to a fault and ridiculously enterprising when it came to defending the interests of those dearest and nearest to them.

Legolas seemed less private – or less traumatised – though and Elrond had to wonder if he and Lú even knew what horrors had befallen young Thranduil long before either one of them had been born.

“Good luck,” he smiled as he saw the young people speed away; in his opinion, it would do old Lindir tremendous good to be put under pressure somewhat.

It was too easy for the man to dismiss and argue away the affection others felt for him sometimes, and Lú’s overwhelming intensity would bring a change of pace that just might convince him that he was well-loved by those around him.

If moping was an Olympic discipline, he’d win the gold medal, Lindir thought – disgusted with himself – as he drew the shutters closed with some difficulty.

Another night of him sitting around and – hating every second of silence – yearning for the explosive liveliness of Lú and Ann’.

He slept badly without his lullaby and his morning tea tasted like ashes and mud without their humorous conversations; alone with himself, he could not deny how much of a bore he was, even for his own sedate tastes.

No wonder nobody liked him.

He’d be surprised if anyone but Elrond had even noticed that he wasn’t there; the roster was made and all the person in charge had to do was to get it and implement it.

In the end, he was not much more than a walking computer, was he?

About to go to bed early, only to toss and turn desperately thinking of things he’d never get, Lindir disrobed almost angrily down to his underwear.

Unfortunately for him, that was exactly the moment someone pounded on his door rather forcefully and – the shutters being closed already – he simply opened the door and hoped for the best.

“Ah,” Legolas laughed, “one might think you were expecting us.”

So, I hope you've enjoyed this :D You see, it's not getting a lot better for poor Lindir :(

-> Chapter 11

[drabbles-mc]

Distant

Juice Ortiz x F!Reader

Request by Anon: could i have a juice x reader fic around this conversation. J: i hate myself, i hate this, I cant do anything right. R: :slap: i won't let you talk badly about the man i love.

Warnings: angst, Juice being a sad boy

Word Count: 1.1k

A/N: So I did tweak the request a little bit because slapping just didn’t...sit right with me. Hope you still enjoy, though. This is just a angsty lil one-shot for Juan Carlos.

SOA Taglist: @garbinge​ @masterlistforimagines​ @adela-topaz-caelon​ @mijop​ @chibsytelford​ @thanossexual​ @xladymacbethx​ @i-just-read-stuff​ @kkim120​ @everyhowlmarksthedead​ @toni9​ @unicornucopia-fuckers​ @shadow-of-wonder​ @punkgoddess-98​ @paintballkid711​ @black-repunzel99​ @lexondeck​ @jitterbugs927​ @mrsstevenbuchananstark​ @mijagif​ @frattsparty​ @winchestershiresauce​ @bellisperennis0​ @crowfootwrites​ @redpoodlern​ @beardburnsupersoldiers​ @mveggieburger​ @xeniarocks​ @choochoo284​ @littlekittymeow​ @beardsanddetectives​ @juicyortiz​ @soltaasbruxas​ (If you want to be added to the taglist just let me know!)

When you’d stopped by the clubhouse earlier that day looking for Juice, the guys had told you he’d taken off a few hours before. You tried texting and calling him, but everything went unanswered. When you had asked the guys if they knew why he had been so skittish and distance, you couldn’t get a straight answer out of anyone. That fact only made you more concerned, but it also meant that whatever was eating at him was a club issue, and that sent a jolt of fear down your spine. There were a lot of problems that you could try to help Juice solve, but club shit was above your paygrade.

You called again as you walked back to your car, and when you went to voicemail again, you left another message. You left one saying that you were leaving the clubhouse and making your way to his place. The likelihood of him listening to that before you got there was slim to none, but at least no one could say that you didn’t try to give him the heads up.

When you got to his house, you saw his bike parked in the driveway. Taking a deep breath, you put your car in park and cut the ignition. The light above the front steps was off but you could see the light coming from inside and you knew that he was home. You lingered on his front step for a couple seconds, taking a deep breath to get your courage up a little bit before knocking on the door.

You heard some scuffling behind the door, and a few moments later it was slowly pulled open, revealing a very tired and sad-looking Juice. Your heart sank at the sight of him alone, but the fact that he tried to force some kind of a smile for you but couldn’t broke your heart all that much more.

“Hey,” he leaned against the door, “everything alright?”

“I feel like I should be asking you that,” you couldn’t help but to take note of the fading bruises around his eye and on his cheek, “Can I come in?”

He hesitated, but ended up nodding, “Yea, yea of course,” he opened the door wider so you could walk inside. Once you were inside, he looked around the front of his house as if to make sure no one else was there with you before closing and locking both locks on the door. Only then did he finally turn around and face you, “What’s going on?”

You shook your head, “N-nothing,” you didn’t quite know how to go about saying something without making it seem like you were trying to be nosey, or like you were mad at him, “I just, I feel like I haven’t heard from you in a bit. Wanted to make sure that you were okay,” you tapped the toe of your shoe on the hardwood floor, “Stopped by the clubhouse earlier to look for you, but you weren’t there either.”

His eyes grew a little wider, “Did the guys say anything to you?”

“No…should they have?” your heart was slowly dropping into your stomach.

The expression on his face made it clear that he knew he just put himself behind the eight ball. Shaking his head, he tried to string together a response, “No, no that’s not…that’s not what I meant. I just…I didn’t know…”

“What happened?” you stepped in closer, slowly reaching and tilting his head so you could get a better look at him.

He fought the urge to flinch away from your touch. The hesitancy had nothing to do with you, but at that point his body and mind couldn’t differentiate anymore. You saw the slight panic in his eyes and you gently traced your thumb along his cheekbone in an attempt to soothe him. It was partially successful—you felt him leaning slightly into your touch despite the fact that his body was still tense.

“Lot of heat with the club right now,” he tried to leave it as vague as possible.

“Okay,” you nodded slowly as you brought your hand back to your side, hoping that he would give you more than just that, “Anything I can do?”

He immediately shook his head, “No, no. I don’t…I don’t want you getting caught in the middle of any of it.”

“Middle of what?” you prompted him to tell you more.

His breathing quickened as the events of the last few weeks came rushing back at hyper-speed. He didn’t want to tell you everything that had been going on, the terrible things that he’d done to try and save himself and the club. You wouldn’t be able to look at him the same way—he knew it.

“Nothing,” he couldn’t look you in the eye, “Don’t worry about it.”

“Hey,” you stepped in closer to him and slipped your hands into his, “I can’t help you if you don’t tell me what’s going on.”

“No,” he almost pulled away from you but didn’t, “you can’t help. This isn’t your mess to clean up.”

“We’re a team, right?” you gave his hands a light squeeze, “Whatever shit we get into, we get out of together.”

He almost wished that you weren’t being so supportive. It would’ve been so much easier to push you away if you didn’t handle it well. Everything that had been thrown your way you’d always handled with grace and it was the first time that he ever wished that you wouldn’t. He needed you at arm’s length and he didn’t know how to get you there without breaking his own heart in the process.

“This isn’t like that,” the truth was on the tip of his tongue but he couldn’t spill it. Shaking his head, he pulled away from you, turning his body so that you couldn’t see the look on his face, “I hate myself, I hate this—I can’t do anything right.”

Your brows knitted and the softness disappeared from your tone as you spoke up, “Hey,” you stepped in closer to him again, pulling him back towards you and forcing him to look at you. His eyes were wide, never having heard you be that firm with him before, “Don’t do that. I’m not going to let you talk like that about the man I love, alright?” you shook your head, tone becoming gentle again as the statement washed over him, “I love you, and whatever it is, we’ll get through it. We always do.”

Tears were gathering in his eyes, “This isn’t like before.”

“Okay, then we’ll figure it out,” you cupped his face in your hands.

“I don’t wanna lose you,” his voice trembled slightly as he soaked up the warmth from your hands.

“I’m here,” you nodded, leaning in and kissing him softly on the cheek, “and I’m not going anywhere.”

[ackerpreach]

This ending .... I can name 500 reasons and I will name them right now, because I don’t think I’m the only one who is upset with how things turned out. (Also, A positive message for all of you at the end)

MAJOR LEAKS SPOILERS/ READ WITH CAUTION

Update: after reading more theories from fellow RM bloggers, and sleeping over it one day, this entire chapter might be an april fools... Don't fully lose hope yet beautiful people. It's me just giving a review on a possible fake April fools chapter

After following this franchise since 2013, so nearly a DECADE. this ending is a pure disserve to the entire fandom. I feel like Yams has rushed it just for the sake of being done with the entire manga. So many things are left open, characters and their developemt are reverted back all the way to chapter 1 or are left even worse than that...

Mikasa’s worthless character development/ Aaronmika’s horrible toxic codependent relationship 

Oh honey... Let’s start with how horrible Isayama has treated her. We were all rooting for her, because we all felt like she was so misunderstood. She had a horrible childhood and imprinted on a guy who treated her like trash 99 percent of the story. And then, slowly but surely, she starts to realize she has to stop obsessing over him in the uprising arc with the help of a real man who treats her like a queen, more importantly, he treats her like a real human being. This man sees her for her abilities and that she has the power to be self dependent. She learned parts of herself, that she was able to work together with him like no one else could.  She learned parts of herself she was unable to do so if she kept obsessing about Aaron. All this love, care, mutual understanding and RESPECT these two shared. 

but...NAH FUCK THAT, right Yams?? Throw all this development away, all this bonding. Let’s make the main female lead even more yandere than she already was in the first season. Let her make out with his decapacitated head (like dude, this is also pure disrespect to Aaron’s dead body btw) and let her obsess even more about the guy who has treated her no better than a piece of toilet cloth 99 percent of the time. The guy who was never really appreciative in front of her for saving his ass billions of times, who always pushed her away, who yells at her and snaps at her whenever he can instead of reasoning and talking calmly with her in mature way. (EVEN PARODY YOUTUBE CHANNELS WHO DONT SHIP ANYTHING MAKE IT A TROPE WHERE AARON TELLS MIKASA HE HATES HER GUTS WHENEVER HE CAN) 

Then after all that, suddenly Yams tries to last minute persuade us Aaron’s always been head over heels for her???  He should have build their relationship better which he hasn’t even tried to do so... He must be thinking his fans are stupid for eating this from his hands.    

Like seriously??? What is this??? 

Isayama is just fully contradicting himself. It’s like someone tipped him off with a buttload of money for him to write Aaron like this to satisfy shipping needs and to cash in those extra money’s from it. Even if he tried to cater to Erem*ika, this is not how you write a loving and caring couple which people will root for. 

This next two panels just freaking infuriates me to the core of my soul. I can’t even describe how dissapointed I am with Mikasa. 

Why is she clutching that head so obsessively like that?  Why is she walking and turning her back away from her comrades? After everything they have done for her, after all they’ve been through?! After everything Armin has done? Standing up for Mikasa, beating up Aaron for hurting her. I feel like even Jean, Connie and Sasha have cared more for her in a healthy way.  Sure, Aaron cares for her romantically too apparently (What a twist Yams :)), but has he aided her to becoming a mentally healthier individual? Has he aided in her mental stability? The answer is a big fat NO!  All I see between these two after today’s raw Chapter’s are too Yandere obsessed individuals who have no clue on how to maintain a healthy relationship. 

Love should only go as far as the heart can endure and it seems like her character is not willing to be aware of that. Even Armin was able to let go of Aaron in those latest panels. Why does her entire character resolve around this guy??? I really do not understand. Her Ackerbond and her age is not an excuse for her to throw her life away like this. 

Shonen’s disgusting portrayal of women 

I’ve seen this countless of times in the many years I’ve watched anime. SasuS*ku from Naruto, Ichih*me from Bleach, Shinji and that oranged hair girl from Neon Evangelion.. Why do these women get decreased to simpletons with one single goal? And that is to obsess over a bland male lead who either treats them like trash or doesn’t notice them up until the last last chapter (LITERALLY WHAT YAMS HAS DONE). Some go even as far as the male leading wanting the kill the female love interest and yet the female lead is still in love with them???. It’s disgusting for him to write the MAIN female character this way. 

It’s dissapointing we believed in Isayama doing Mikasa’s character right. That she’s finally being able to let go of her codependency and to live for herself maybe live in Hizuru and find more about her roots???, but every single time she shows some improvement, it’s burried deep in the ground again by the Author. It almost seems like a lowkey kink of some of the male Mangaka’s to write about a girl obsessing over them no matter what. I see this so many times to the point that I truly stand behind it that some of them might have this fantasy. 

I wished he didn’t portray her last panels like this. Everyone else is living their lives while Mikasa is still grieving about him. I’m not saying she’s not allowed to grieve and everyone takes it at their own pace, but cmon... Show her living her life too. This is too much. Her being next to his grave and grieving him as her last panels just shoves it in our faces that YET AGAIN, BEING OBSESSED WITH AARON IS ALL HER CHARACTER STANDS FOR. 

I truly despise how Isayama handles her grieving, kissing his decapacitated head, carrying it around like some handbag, and her last panels being thissss.

The world leaving Paradis alone miraciously after all that??? 

It’s so weird and out of place with so many political feuds and disagreements between the world and Paradis, the entire Rumbling happening and we can see Mikasa just chilling outside in Paradis with no one bothering them. You can see the rings of the walls in the picture below.  I don’t know the exact reason behind as the manga is still in Korean, but from what I see, the story went the route of: throwing a happy ending without enough proper reason and  it was all fixed just like that in a snap! It doesn’t fit the entire narrative of attack on titan for things to be so peacful out of nowhere. When it comes to the narrative, how things work in that world, how hard it is to achieve peace, everything made somewhat sense up until chapter 138. 139 seems so so out of place...  It’s like I’m reading a chapter from a totally different manga. 

Aaron Yoghurt got defeated so easily/ Aaron’s character assassination

The build up on the first part of the rumbling was great, those kids carrying coins. You could feel humanity’s fear and Aaron’s hatred in those pages. As if he truly had a goal and he has turned away completely from his comrades and his closest friends with no return. The world seemed truly doomed, but he  got defeated just like that. He was in the nape all this time (because screw the warhammer power of hiding yourself elsewhere in his ginormous titan body). There is no master plan as we all expected, and in the end he just acts all yandere in the paths with Armin and that’s it... They massacared his entire character as well. Many fan theories created a better ending with his character. Him being reincarnated as Historia’s baby would be so much better. For him to still keep on seeking and to strive for power. It has always been his motive. It’s his personality from the start until chapter 138. Even if things are okay, to keep on going and to seek that adventure, but then.. He’s so weak and directionless suddenly.. It’s so weird... This is not Aaron at all???

Using Aaron for him this entire post, because I don’t want others to invade our tags... :)))

Historia’s baby 

The only panel we got from Historia’s child was this. Just a normal kid, normal life... Why did Isayama put so much effort in highlighting Historia’s pregnancy if it was nothing too spectacular anyway? It seemed he had major plans for this kid and for their development too??? It’s again, big plans, big developments, big relationship dynamic, but all  got thrown out of the window... 

Don’t read the next sentence if you are a minor :’) 

It’s like almost ejaculating, but stopping right before it and repeating that every single Arc.

My energy when writing about this chapter is the same as Nostalgia Critic and his hatred for atla the live action

In Conclusion...

I know us fans should not be deciding on how this story should end, because this is Isayama’s story after all, but I truly wished for him to wrap up things much more rounded. There are so many unanswered questions... Again, I think for the sake of being done with this manga, he rushed all of it. He’s become a millionaire from this story and now his pockets are jammed full, I guess he doesn’t need to put in any effort anymore, right? Perhaps a controversial opinion, but I really wished he cared for his fans a little bit more with this last chapter by giving some answers that make sense at least. It’s his fans who gave him this platform and the opportunity to tell his story and for him to at least give in a bit of effort especially in the last chapter is the least he can do. Rivamika being canon or not, he truly rushed it without thinking much about the entire story line. He expanded it so much, he didn’t know how to bind it all together.

Even after all this, I’ll still ship them in the headcanon type of way. I do give credit to Isayama for giving us a template for such a beautiful dynamic between Levi and Mikasa. He decides to waste it, but that doesn’t mean we have to.  I want to thank all the people with amazing writing skills, the ones who give us beautiful art like @carmenlee @phit chan @vialesana​ and many more. I want to remind all of you that we can create something beautiful of our own and we don’t neccesarily need canon lore for that. The art I’ve seen, the fanfictions I’ve read have touched me deeper than Isayama ever could at times.The Mikasa in our mind is appreciate of Levi, is mature, classy and has a strong will for herself. They spend their remaining days together peacefully. Keep writing, keep drawing, stay creative. 

I love you all so so much, I’ve only been publicly active since March, but thank you Rivamika fandom for giving me so much joy as a lurker these past 7 years <3

[heauxplesslydevoted]

Coming Down (Ethan x MC)

Summary: They break up. Dassit

A/N: I’ve been tired of this imposter Ethan, and the back of forth nature of his romance route for the entirety of book 3, so I wrote this.

Warnings: None

Title Inspo

~v~

Naomi’s fingernails tap impatiently against her leg as the shrill ring of her cell phone rings at her ear. It rings 5 long times before she’s sent to voicemail.

“Hello, you’ve reached Dr. Ethan Ramsey. I’m sorry for not answering your phone call, but leave a message, and I’ll get back to you as soon as I can. Thank you.”

“Ethan, it’s me...again. I haven’t heard from you in,” lifting her wrist, Naomi checks the time on her watch, “wow, in over 24 hours. I’ve been calling and calling, to no avail, and you just aren’t responding.”

The news of Ethan getting hit with a malpractice lawsuit hit her like a freight train. As soon as things started to feel good again, as soon as the diagnostics team started to find its rhythm with two new physicians, this torpedoes any chance of normalcy she could ever experience.

“If you could give me a call back and let me hear the sound of your voice, that’d be great. Bye.”

There’s a lot more that she wants to say, but she’s been given a limited window of time so Naomi hangs up.

Switching tactics, Naomi opens up her messages, and scrolls to her thread with Ethan.

Naomi: Hi

Naomi: Are you okay? I haven’t heard from you in a while.

Naomi: Can you at least reply, telling me to leave you alone?

Naomi: At this point, I’d settle for at least knowing if you’re alive.

She waits a few minutes, and when she gets no response, she shoves her phone into the pocket of her white coat. Anxiousness and worry pools in the pit of her stomach, and the only thing she can think about is Ethan’s well being. And this situation doesn’t bode well because Naomi is still in the middle of her shift.

Her thoughts are interrupted by the sound of quiet chatter as the door to the diagnostics team’s office opens and in walks Tobias and Harper. Their conversation is cut short once they notice the youngest member of the team.

“Hi, Naomi,” Tobias greets, an easygoing smile adorning his face. “What’s up?”

She wishes she could feel as casual as he looks, because every part of her body is twisted inside out and turned upside down.

“Have either of you talked to Ethan today?” Naomi asks, skipping the pleasantries.

“I spoke to him yesterday just to gauge how he was handling the malpractice suit,” Tobias answers. “Obviously, the conversation didn’t last long because he and I rarely interact outside of these four walls, but he seems…” he trails off when he notices Naomi’s face fall. “What’s wrong? Is everything alright?”

Any other time, Naomi would be ecstatic to hear about Tobias extending an olive branch, and Ethan actually accepting the support, but today isn’t that day. She’s been trying to get in touch with him all day with no success, but he answers a phone call from his sworn enemy?

“I haven’t heard from Ethan today, so I’m at least glad to know he’s breathing,” Naomi says, her voice tight.

Too caught up in her own pity party, Naomi misses the way Tobias and Harper exchange worried glances. The team has been through enough the past few months, the last thing they need is romantic friction between Ethan and Naomi seeping into the office.

“Maybe he’s turned his phone off since then?” Tobias suggests. “Times like this can force you into an introspective mood, and he’s probably going technology free.”

Naomi chuckles humorlessly. She appreciates Tobias’s effort to satiate her foul mood, but she can’t think of a single excuse short of death that could justify Ethan’s behavior.

She stands, dusting off her coat and straightening it out. “Thanks. I’m going to get some lab work done on our patient, page me if you need anything.”

“Will do.”

Without another word, Naomi exits the office.

Working helps slightly. For an hour or so, Naomi is successful in turning off her brain and focusing diligently on work. She manages to not think about Ethan at all.

Until she hears his name brought up in conversation. She’s strolling towards the nurse's station when she sees Sarah and another nurse, Ronnie huddled in a corner.

“Sounds like Dr. Ramsey’s not as perfect as everyone thinks, huh?”

“Screwing up a standard tracheotomy that way? Frankly, I’m just surprised it took the patient this long to sue!”

Naomi slows her steps before she stops walking all together. The nurses are so engrossed in their conversation, they don’t even notice her.

“I heard from Marlene that the patient wouldn’t have even needed a trach if they hadn’t dosed her wrong in the first place,” Sarah adds in an excited whisper.

“Seriously? That’s next level…”

Her first instinct is to stop this, to tell them to stop talking, the urge to protect Ethan still as strong as it’s always been.

But she stops herself from doing that. Because why should she? Why should she put forth the effort to defend the honor and reputation of a man that doesn’t even have the decency to answer her phone calls?

And just like that, she’s plunged back into her flurry of conflicting emotions: worry, fear, annoyance, and most of all, anger. The emotions war inside her, all fighting for dominance, and she hasn’t felt like this since her intern year when he left to go to South America without any sort of goodbye or correspondence.

That wasn’t a good period in her life. Naomi can still feel the cold grip of anxiety that plagued her chest when she came into work one day and he was nowhere to be seen. She heard through a LVN that he left before confirming it with Naveen. She can still taste the saltiness of the tears she shed after leaving her 5th unanswered voicemail. Experiencing such a high of beating her ethics trial and getting picked for the diagnostic team,  and the low of him leaving in that short amount of time left her spiraling and isolated, and it took entirely too much time clawing herself out of that dark place.

Turning on her heel, Naomi speed walks in the other direction, her original plan long forgotten. The hospital passes her by in a blur as her legs move, the rest of her body and brain moving on autopilot.

She doesn’t stop moving until she’s in front of the residents’ lounge. She spots Aurora, Bryce, and Sienna sitting at a table.

“Naomi, come join us!” Sienna exclaims. “We’re going to make cappuccinos with this fancy machine.”

“I’ll have to take a raincheck on that,” Naomi says. She turns to Bryce. “Can I borrow your car keys please?”

“Everything okay?”

“Yeah, I just have a couple errands to run and I don’t feel like taking the train. I’ll bring it back with a full tank of gas and everything.”

“I’m not gonna nitpick you about gas, Omi.” Bryce’s warm gaze sweeps across Naomi’s face, studying her. If he notices anything wrong with her, which he probably does because Bryce is a lot more perceptive than he gives himself credit for, he thankfully doesn’t mention it. He reaches into the pocket of his mint green scrub pants and pulls out his keys. He tosses the keys to Naomi with a wink, and she catches them mid air.

“I keep a shovel in the trunk in case you need to bury a body.”

Whether he realizes what is going on with her, or if he just cracked a joke to lighten the mood, Naomi is grateful either way.

~v~

Naomi spends an hour driving around Boston, people watching and attempting to collect her thoughts before she ends up in Back Bay at Ethan’s apartment complex. She didn’t want to go to his house in her previous state, guns blazing and emotions all over her place.

Even on the ride on the elevator up to his unit, her stomach is in knots and her heart beats faster than normal. She hasn’t been this nervous about seeing Ethan in a long time, and it dawns on her just how fucked this entire situation is. Why should she be nervous to talk to the man who claims to want to be with her?

Steeling her nerves, Naomi issues three sharp knocks to Ethan’s front door. Approximately 45 seconds pass before the door opens.

“Naomi!” Ethan’s eyes widen when he sees her standing there. “What are you doing here?”

“Are you going to let me in, or should we have this conversation in the hallway?” Naomi asks. Ethan steps aside, widening the door so Naomi can enter. “Thank you.”

The apartment is stale, like Ethan hasn’t opened the windows in a few days. He looks disheveled, the bags under his eyes are extremely pronounced like he hasn’t gotten a wink of sleep.

For lack of a better word, Ethan is a mess. And she wants nothing more than to just...wrap her arms around him and make everything better. But she doesn’t. She keeps her distance.

Ethan shuts the door before turning back to her. “Can I get you something to drink?”

“No.”

“Well let’s sit down.”

“No, I think I’d rather stand because I don’t plan on being here long.”

The coldness stuns Ethan. Naomi almost seems indifferent towards him, something he’s never experienced before. It doesn’t go unnoticed that she didn’t bother greeting him warmly, no hug or kiss, no excitement in her voice, nothing.

“I needed to see with my own two eyes that you were alive and well,” Naomi starts. “Because you’ve gone radio silent on me. I know you’ve seen me calling and texting. Your phone works just fine because you picked up a call from Tobias of all people.”

He averts his gaze, ashamed of himself. “I’m sorry, I–”

She holds up a hand, stopping him mid-sentence. Naomi doesn’t believe for one second that he’s apologizing due to actual remorse. “I have spent the entire day wracked with intense worry. I feel like I’ve been turned upside down, and I could barely focus on work. Every time I thought I could be productive, something or someone was there to remind me of you. And then I’d spend more time ruminating over you and your situation, and the fact that you’re ignoring me, and then I’d feel like absolute shit. And earlier today, as I listened to the nurses gossip about you, I realized that this feels so much like your two month sabbatical to the Amazon, and our relationship hasn’t changed at all since then.”

“That’s not true,” Ethan argues.

“It is,” Naomi insists. “One step forward doesn’t mean anything if we end up taking two steps back immediately afterwards. A year and a half later, you’re still holding me at arms length, keeping yourself closed off, ignoring my calls.”

“I don’t mean to do this, to be this way.”

“But you continue to do it, so at this point you have to see it’s a pattern. You won’t even open up and talk to me about this lawsuit that’s being waged against you.”

“I just don’t want you getting needlessly involved.”

“While it’s a noble excuse, it’s complete and utter bullshit. If you think you’re doing something to save my reputation, remember nothing you do will ever top me almost losing my medical license my intern year, and then having a resident face a malpractice lawsuit a few months later. So come on, give me another excuse.”

“I’m doing this for you!”

“How? How could this possibly be for me?”

“Everything I touch becomes tainted!” Ethan snaps. “Because there is something wrong, in which everyone arounds me leaves or dies, or everything falls apart. I don’t have control or autonomy over anything, so yes, the one precious thing in my life, I’m too scared to touch.”

“But I have been right here with you! I was right here in this exact same spot when we worked on Naveen’s case. I sat by your side while we watched over Dolores’s son. I was there when they wheeled your mother into the hospital, and when you took her to rehab. Time and time again, I’ve proven to you that my loyalty is steadfast, and not once have I ever wavered, so you don’t get to stand here and punish me for some unrealized fear. You don’t get to treat me like I’m a passenger in this relationship, if you can even call it that.”

That’s what gives him pause. “Of course this is a relationship.”

“This isn’t a relationship, I am just a woman you sleep with. Occasionally you open up to me, we share a cute moment and promises, and then you clam up and up goes the barriers, and it starts all over again. And every single time, we’re a little bit deeper into this thing we’re in. I’ve shared more, I’ve let myself be more vulnerable with you, emotionally and physically, I’ve deluded myself into thinking ‘This time it’s the real thing,’. And I’m afraid that this is going to be our reality. One day I wake up, 3 years in, tentatively living with you, trying to settle into the pieces of a life I’ve scrounged up with you, and you do this again.”

“I don’t speak on it, and I don’t like to because I try to keep it all together, but you don’t understand the toll it takes on me every time we do this back and forth. I was a train wreck when you quit. I had the trial looming over my head, Landry, a guy I considered one of my closest friends betrayed me in the worst possible way, you weren’t the only person scared of losing Naveen, and I couldn’t even verbalize any of it to you because you slammed a door in my face when I tried to bring it up, and then you left me. And then you did it again, and I spent two months worried that you might not even come home because you could contract the deadly disease you were off fighting. And then you go on national television declaring your relationship status, and you made promises to me on my deathbed that led nowhere, and then finally we make some headway in Hawaii and establish what we have going on, and then I come home to this. So while you say one thing to me, time and time again, your actions say otherwise. It’s clear I’m not a priority.” 

This conversation triggers Ethan’s fight or flight response. He doesn’t know where this conversation is headed, but he’s smart enough to know it’s nowhere good.

“Naomi, what are you saying? Spell it out to me like I’m a preschooler.”

“I think we need a break,” Naomi says in one breath, afraid she’ll break if she prolongs this any further. The six words leave a sour taste in her mouth that she has to choke back.

“No,” Ethan’s tone is gruff, and the seriousness almost startled Naomi. “No, we’re not breaking up.”

“From where I’m standing, we already have,” Naomi retorts. “I’m just confirming it.”

Ethan takes one long stride towards Naomi, but she takes a step back. “Look, I am a daft asshole to put it mildly, and I know I have a lot of work to do, but this is by no means a reason for us to break up.” He takes another step forward, and now Naomi is backed up against the door. He tugs her forward, wrapping his arms around her. “I am sorry. I know the words probably sound hollow, but trust me when I say I mean it. I’ll fix this, I’ll do whatever it takes. You’re the only person I want, the only one I’ll ever want, and I’m not losing you. Not now, not ever.”

Through this right embrace, Naomi can feel just how rapidly his heart is beating. He’s scared.

A tear slips from the corner of her eye, and she’s too drained to even wipe it away. “This is reactionary. You’re saying all of this because you’re panicked, but if you meant any of what you just said, it wouldn’t take the threat of a breakup in order to want to change things.”

“It shouldn’t have taken me this long to realize what a fool I’ve been,” Ethan says. He refuses to let go of her, his arms still wrapped so tightly around her petite frame, he almost worries about crushing her.

“I agree.” What does that even mean? She gives him nothing more than that, and Ethan is left to stew in his own doubt and worry. Naomi breaks free of his embrace and presses a palm to his chest, signaling him to give her some space. “But I still think we need some space.”

“You don’t mean that.”

“Trust me, I do.”

It becomes hard to breathe. When Ethan woke up this morning, the last thing he expected was Naomi to dump him. “What can I do? Tell me how to fix this. Do you want consistency? Done, I’ll talk to you every single day, multiple times a day. Transparency? Sit down right now, and I’ll explain this entire lawsuit top to bottom. You want proof that I’m never going to up and leave again, you can take my fucking passport. Naomi, I don’t care what I have to do, I will do it, but I will not accept you walking out of that door.”

Naomi inhales deeply, trying to stop a full son from bursting out of her chest. He’s saying all the right things, but at the wrong time. It’s too late now. “I’ve warred with myself all day about this decision. You’re clearly not in the right space to sustain a healthy relationship, and that’s fine. I just need to remove myself from the situation, for my own health and well-being. And I think you need to do the same.”

“So...what? This is it? It’s over?”

“Let’s be honest Ethan, you never gave us the opportunity to begin.” She wants to touch him so badly, reach out a run her hand through his hair or stroke his beard one more time. It takes everything in her to not. “You’re a great doctor, one of the best ones I know, so I really hope you beat this entire lawsuit and I get to see you back at Edenbrook. Take care of yourself, Ethan.

Ethan shakes his head in denial. He refuses to let things end like this, and for her to give him the same cool professionalism she extends to every other coworker.

“Naomi, wait–”

She’s out of his apartment before he can convince her to stay. It doesn’t register until he hears the soft click of her door shutting that she’s actually gone. And another minute passes before the gravity of the situation finally dawns on him.

For the first time in a long time, he’s truly alone.

~v~

Tags: @mvalentine @choicesaddict5 @professorkingslay @maurine07 @aka-calliope @bluebellot @whimsicallywayward15 @blossomanarchy @takemyopenheart @jamespotterthefirst @fanmantrashcan @whatchique @ao719 @x-kyne-x @colourmeshy @paulfwesley @the-pale-goddess @writinghereandthere @ramseyandrys @perriewinklenerdie @aworldoffandoms @thatcatlady0716 @drakewalker04 @canknot @hatescapsicum @lapisreviewsstuff @senseofduties @badchoicesposts @ethandaddyramseyx @chasingrobbie @zodiacsign1 @choices-lurker @my-heart-beats-for-ya @adrian-motherfucking-raines @riverrune @edith-eggs1 @thatysn @bellcat2010 @blainehellyes @cecilecontrera @junehiratas @choices-love-affair @openheart12 @caseyvalentineramsey @desmaranj @nazario-sayeed @aestheticartsx @ruinedbypixels @nooruleman @rookie-ramsey @uneravine @choicest @schnitzelbutterfingers @missmiimiie @stateofgracious @mooons-isabelle @doilooklikeiknow

[apocalypseornaw]

Hunters & Marshal Stars -Part Four

An injury puts your life at risk and proves to you and Raylan both that you've grown to care for each other

Warnings: Cursing, mention of injury

Note: Next chapter is a time jump!!

The shrill sound of your phone ringing, ripping you out of sleep you'd just managed to fall into was a harsh reminder of why you'd never attempted to even be friends with someone who wasn't aware of the hazards that came along with the life of a hunter.

You knew Raylan didn't mean any harm. Hell you told him you would be back in town two days ago but the hunt had turned a tad more complicated and you hadn't wanted to leave Alicia and Max until you were sure everything was squared away. 

You ran a hand over the side table until it hit your phone. You swiped to answer it then put it to your ear "Hello?" "Dammit. I woke you up didn't I?" You pushed yourself into sitting up with your back against the wall before saying "It's fine. I'm sorry I haven't made it back yet. Work got a little insane" 

"The antique auction?" You grimaced at just how pathetic that excuse sounded four days later. "Well they needed help getting everything set up at their shop" You shrugged hoping the excuse was semi believable. "I just hadn't heard from you in the last couple days and wanted to make sure everything was ok" you smiled before saying "Yeah I'm fine. I'll call you when I hit the road in the morning. If you're not busy maybe we can do something when I get back?" He didn't sound too convinced when he said "Sounds good darling" but you were honestly too tired to think hard about it.

After you finished talking to Raylan and said goodbye you barely laid your head back down on the pillow before you were back asleep.

Raylan wasn't an ignorant man by any means. Stubborn? Yes. Hard-headed? Of course but ignorant no.

He started getting that feeling something was wrong before your relationship ever turned into more than a date here and there. After all, if you were working at a friend's antique shop in Miami, why would you disappear at a moment's notice under the pretense of work or visiting friends then suddenly get sick?

He was fairly certain you didn't have someone else romantically because of your visceral reaction to Winona cheating. That still left so many more questions than answers.

Maybe it was his fault. Maybe he'd let himself fall a bit more than he'd thought and a lot faster than he ever should've. Hell you'd yet to let him stay at your place overnight or introduce him to any of your friends in Miami besides the two that you'd run across at a restaurant.

Add that in the fact that all he knew about your past was that you had a loss and family in South Dakota. That along with the scars you had and the nightmares he'd witnessed led him to believe that was much more to you than he knew.

Maybe it was that underlying distrust instilled in him from having Arlo as a father or maybe it was the fact that his wife had cheated on him with their realtor or just being a Marshal that led him to it. He sat staring at his computer screen as the words NO DATA FOUND stared him back in the face.

According to the United States Marshal service there was no Y/N Singer.

Raylan avoiding you was weird. He never let your call go unanswered without calling later to say why or messaging at least. Days had passed since you got back in Miami and the only interaction was when you called him to say you'd made it back and he'd curtly told you that while he was glad to hear you were back safe something had come up with work.

------

"What do you think it is?" Helena asked while you checked your emails. You glanced up and shrugged one shoulder "I don't know. We were fine before I left. Hell I was at his place when Alicia and Max called for the assist"

An email from Garth caught your eye so you clicked on it and began to read even as Helena offered "Do you think he's wanting to break things off and doesn't know how to say it?" Your eyes skimmed the email about how a case had caught his eye near St Augustine and how it sounded like a new creature feature.

"Y/N are you listening?" Helena asked and you glanced up "Sorta. Look I like Raylan...a lot more than I ever sat out to but if he's decided this thing we had going isn't what he wants what am I to do about it? I can't really get mad because honestly he only knows about a third of my story. I haven't been honest with him" 

She raised one eyebrow then looked over your shoulder at the computer screen "Your brain's already in St Augustine isn't it?" You shot her a smirk "Maybe? Besides if Raylan needs room to figure out if he wants to pursue this thing or drop me like a sack of rocks, that would be enough room right?" She shook her head with a laugh "Just be careful" you grinned "I'm always careful dear"

She groaned before saying "I love you but christ sometimes you hunters are bull headed as hell especially you and the ones Bobby has had a hand in" you winked at her before teasing "Bullheaded or resilient?"

You collapsed into the driver's seat of your nova practically dragging your left leg behind you. You had no fucking clue what the hell you'd just killed but there were two people who'd been missing and three dead bodies in that warehouse meaning you had to be as far away as you could get before the cops showed from your anonymous 911 call.

You vaguely remembered Dean telling you about hunting a creature that ate livers years back but wasn't like you could call him and risk waking Lisa and Ben to ask. You liked Lisa well enough if she made Dean happy but it seemed to you at least that she got annoyed the times you would speak to Dean and she was around.

A pain shooting through the left side of your body radiating from your leg up pulled you free of any thoughts but getting somewhere you could at the very least do a patch job on yourself.

------

You were fading in and out of consciousness. You knew for a fact you'd lost chunks of time from where you last remembered being to where you were when you passed a road side.

You'd bandaged your leg but from the sticky feeling dripping into your boot it was clear you'd bled through the wrapping. Not only that but if your leg feeling like it was on fire was any indication you feared what had bitten you may have been venomous.

You finally stopped in Palm Bay, you couldn't make it any further. Digging around until you managed to find your phone you hit the first number that popped up. You swallowed hard as you laid your head back against the seat fighting a full body shiver. Yeah there was no way that thing wasn't venomous.

At first Raylan thought the phone ringing was part of a dream. He'd fallen asleep on his couch,still trying to figure out how to go about asking you why after this much time you still hadn't even told him your real last name.

He cared about you. That much he couldn't deny to anyone but why couldn't you trust him? He shook himself out of sleep and grabbed the phone barely glancing at the screen before answering "Givens" he felt his heart fall to his feet when he heard your voice on the other end of the line "Didn't mean to wake you cowboy….I need help Raylan"

------

From Miami to Palm Bay was a two and half hour drive. Raylan made it to you in a little under forty minutes.

He spotted your nova parked in the far corner of the rest stop. He threw his car into park and jumped out, not knowing what he was walking into just that you were hurt.

When he opened the driver's side door he felt his stomach lurch. Your head was back against the seat, eyes shut and a sheen of sweat covering your face and neck. The entirety of your left leg was covered in blood that had already seeped through your jeans. 

"Y/N" he spoke gently leaning in to check for a pulse thanking whoever was listening that he found one that was steady. Your eyes opened slowly a pained smile working its way onto your lips "Hey" 

"Hey honey. What happened?" He asked and you shook your head weakly "Too much to explain. I need to get to Helena. She'll know what to do" your words were slurred around the edges and he tried to argue that you needed a hospital but when tears started to form in your eyes he relented "Ok. I'll leave my car here. Let's get you moved over to the passenger seat"

You barely cried out as he helped you move despite the fact that he could see your entire body tensing up. "Can I see about repatching this?" He asked but when he glanced up his heart felt like it stopped when he realized you'd passed out.

In that moment it was crystal clear that none of his worries about your real name or obvious lies mattered. He could've cared less if someone told him you were a serial killer. All that mattered in that moment was getting you to help as fast as possible and hoping you survived. He'd already lost a lot and couldn't imagine having to see you die.

Tags: @guineapigcuddleparty @universallyraylangivens @m-winchester-67

Next Part has a time jump!!! Like years later type of thing!!!

[lovethisletters]

Devilish nights || A fantastic 3 one-shot!

I love this idea ngl, I love the dynamic between the three of them! And I tried to do them justice here but... there's definitely a Whole ass ranch for improvement... :C

also Diavolo is Mexa xd

Summary: the fantastic three go to a concert but things don't go as planned.

Additional notes: I was going to make this a comic but decided against it since it was gonna take me much more time to finish it, but perhaps I'll do it as a small follow up to this one-shot.

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There's a reason why the Demon elite are very protective of their private life...you see: everyone has a side of their personality only the ones closest to us are allowed to see and for the demon prince, the avatar of pride and the loyal butler this is no exception.

—Uhhh?!?! You're going out?!!—all 6 brothers questioned in surprise.

—Yes, and I hope that when I arrive, the house is not a mess!— Replied the avatar of pride as he placed a distinctive blue coat over his shoulders.

—Ehhh? Are you going on vacation to the human realm, Lucifer ?! And without me ?! How cruel!—Asmodeus inquired dramatically, hugging his older brother's arm like a child begging his mother to go out and play.

The black-haired demon was unfazed by the avatar of lust childish demeanor, released himself from his grasp with ease and continued with his speech.

—Diavolo has important matters to resolve in the human realm and he needs me and Barbatos to support him, it is not a vacation.—

—I hope all of you behave in my absence; Satan, you're in charge, ”Lucifer declared.

-What?!?! Satan in charge ?! - the rest complained.

—As much as it bothers me to admit it… Satan is the most responsible among you — Lucifer looked at the blonde demon in the eyes — I'm counting on you — and the avatar of pride came out hurriedly before he could even hear the answer of the fourth brother.

—Don't— whispered the avatar of wrath as his lips settled into a sinister smile at the plan that was being formulated in his head.

[…]

—Ahhh ~ finally it's THE day! I can't wait any longer !!!— upon hearing the title "prince of hell" we could normally assume that the person bearing it is someone intimidating, ruthless and rude; but there he was ... the heir to the throne of the Devildom jumping all over the place with immeasurable enthusiasm, glow sticks in each hand and a white shirt with the image of a sun with the face of Luis Miguel on the chest.

—Diavolo, I'd appreciate it if you could calm down a bit.

—Calm down?! Lucifer! I have been waiting for this for years! I will finally be able to be at a concert of my favorite singer from the human realm! Do you have any idea how much I struggled to get these tickets?!?! I had to do it the human way! line and everything!—The redhead claimed at the lack of enthusiasm from his best friend.

—His majesty stopped time and he moved a couple of old ladies to be able to acquire the tickets in the front row; it would be appreciated if you showed a bit of enthusiasm, Lucifer.—Barbatos finally spoke, the same formal and cold smile always etched on his face to which Lucifer could only replay in the same way.

—Oh! I won't let you two ruin my night with your formalities! At least pretend you're as excited as I am!—Diavolo begged but his stoic companions could only mutter a mocking “yeeei”as they waved their respective glow sticks reluctantly and the prince of hell could only roll his eyes.

[…]

Mistakes happen, they happen when we least expect them and even worse; at too inconvenient moments.

—Quick, Lucifer, we're next!— The tallest of the 3 hurried, still jumping up and down.

—Give me a second — The black-haired demon searched in his pockets for the tickets that Diavolo had asked him to keep until the day of the concert because he was afraid of losing them among all the paperwork that week and knowing the responsible nature of his friend he entrusted them to him .

The thing is ... Lucifer could not find the tickets ... and when he realized this, with all the tranquility of the world: he cleared his throat, clasped his hands and positioned himself firmly like a teacher about to explain something to a child .

—Diavolo, in terms of tickets… I forgot the ttickets— At first the prince of hell gave his friend an incredulous look and even proceeded to laugh.

—Sure, stop playing games, Lucifer— the redhead expected a laugh from his friend followed by him handing over the tickets, but that gesture never came.

—Your Majesty I think Lucifer is not joking— Barbatos corrected

And oh my god, have you ever seen a child's face when you take a toy that he just can’t have out of his hands? And then the endless crying begins? Yes, at that moment the heir to the throne of hell simply bursted in tears.

—It’s Okay, your majesty, everything is going to be fine— The butler tried to calm him down by patting him on the back.

—Diavolo, I can buy others, don't worry— But the redhead only limited himself to pointing at the sign above the theater entrance "Sold out" was written in large letters.

—Well… I guess I owe you the next concert, how about we go to your favorite restaurant, hmm? My treat — Despite his offer, his friend only let out a sigh of despair and helplessness.

—You have no idea where you left them?

—Ummm… I guess in my office…

—Tell your brothers to bring them to you! Please!!— Lucifer was quick to dial Satan's number, because by the way things were he would not be surprised if Diavolo's despair at this moment led him to pray.

By pure chance, Lucifer noticed that he had several unanswered messages and calls from one of the angels: Simeon

—You can't reach them?—the prince questioned

Lucifer just stood there, glaring at his phone with a mixture of regret and anger.

"Damm you Simeon" was all that came to mind.

—Oh? Aren't those Solomon, Simeon and Luke?—Barbatos voice interrupted his thoughts.

And sure enough, there at the entrance of the theatre were the inhabitants of purgatory hall, dressed in human world clothing, waiting in line, the youngest of the group with tickets in hand.

—Oh!? I didn't knew they had bought tickets for this!

—They didn't

—How do you know?

—Because those are YOUR tickets!

—What?!?!—Diavolo's confused expression was quickly met with Lucifer's phone right in front of his face, showing him the text messages.

—I'll go get them—but before the avatar of pride could take another step towards the purgatory hall group, Barbatos hand stopped him in his tracks.

—Your Majesty, I believe Luke's birthday is just in a few days and he seems to be enjoying himself, why don't we let them keep the tickets?—the butler suggested politely.

It took a couple of seconds for the prince of hell tho make his desicion, but the smile on the small angel face made all trace of doubt dissipate, and with a heavy sigh he finally spoke.

— leat it be, Lucifer...

—...are you sure of it, Diavolo?

—yes, perhaps next year we'll go together...all of us, right?

Lucifer was surprised but with a small smile forming on his face he said yes.

—Now... who's hungry?! We should go to the fanciest place in town, after all, It's Lucifer's treat!—the prince joked

—Perhaps the restaurant we attended last year would be fine, your Majesty?

—Ah yes! That would do!

And while Lucifer's wallet had started regretting his desicions, he was happy he could spend this evening with his dearest friends.

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I was going to put a drawing of the fantastic three hanging out but I only did Diavolo bc while I was finishing Barbatos and Lucifer my computer crashed and didn't save anything :c

So here's a Diavolo in front of bellas artes to compensate:

If you find any grammatical errors let me know! I'm trying to improve my english and that would help me so so much!

I will forever thank you if you go check out my other profile: @aileysmirnov  where I post things about my OC: edits, one-shots, imagines, art, etc. If you like Greek mythology and the bat family maybe you would get to be as fond of her as much as I am!

Anyway, thank you for reading!