#if i hear one more person say ‘your website didnt say that’ YES IT DID

[oflgtfol]

i’ve been working overtime at my other job this week and as much as i love this job. it has been a Long Fucking Week. the more i interact with the general public the more misanthropic i become

[thecynthh]

smart ass - M.S

synopsis - matt’s not doing to well with his schooling but is determined to get his degree and pass his classes. one essay which is a huge part of their grade haunts him with a bad mark, luckily y/n is willing to him him

notes - college setting, no smut yet, more of matt in the next part, hopefully a long series !

author notes - heyyyyy so this is my first series i guess, i hope you guys like this and i promise not to take too long with the next part. love all u babes and j hope u have a nice new years if you celebrate it!

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a notification appears on my laptop, new grade from Ms.Garcia. shrugs and groans rung throughout the lecture hall, clicking on the notification a website pops up onto my desktop.

*97%,A+ good job y/n keep up the good work*

what were people so upset about, i thought to myself. my shoulder gets tapped by the person beside me.

“oh my god this old woman just hates me,” madi cries from beside me. i peak over at madi’s screen seeing a whopping 54%. i dont understand how that happens to a girl like madi, she was so smart and didn’t deserve that grade. i knew she didnt deserve that, i read her essay myself !

my hand lands on hers, “ okay that’s actually insane for you to be getting a 54, your essay was so good?!?”

everyone's head shoots up to the women below the many rows of seats, “so as you see at your grades only ms y/n got a good grade. i'm willing to let everyone else rewrite their exam and hand it in by next week if you do not like your grade.” the decrepit woman just packs her bag after saying that and begins to leave the room. everyone replicated her and began to pack up their belongings, including me.

madi and i leave the large space and stand in the hall just outside. “oh fuck, i promised nick id meet him after our class, ill see you later babes.” she ghosts a kiss on my cheek as i do the same to her greeting her goodbye. i grab my phone to check the time but to mostly look busy before i head somewhere else.

large footsteps creep up behind me and i hear my name being called. “y/n? thats your name right?” a man around 5’8 is standing in front of me. a little startled i take a second to reply.

“uhm yes that's me” i say replying to him. i notice his outfit, simple black cargos with a baggy sweater over it saying RANSOM with angel wings projecting off of the word.

“s-so i was wondering if you were willing to help me with the essay, you know, maybe study the material more?” he says while slightly looking down and looking very nervous.

“oh yea! of course i’ll bring over my notes and materials that i got from Ms.Garcia. does friday work for you? i have work tomorrow so i’ll be busy after class…” i cringe at my own sentence.

i knew who matt was, he was quite the popular guy and a social media influencer who made a lot of money. he didn’t have to exactly work a normal job like i did. although i don’t blame him, i’ve watched some of their videos and if i’m being honest they are pretty funny. i’ve slowly started to keep up with them ever since i was introduced to them by madi at an influencer party where she and the triplets got invited.

“mhm friday works, you can swing by my house, my brothers won’t be home that night. thanks for this by the way.” he says with his face softening, he definitely seemed more relaxed after i said yes.

“okay then! it’s a date- oh well not really a date, but i mean date as in like… oh you get it.” i trip over my words and finally take in his features. he has a beautiful jawline and scruffy that would feel so good on my-

he chuckles at my mishap “yeah it’s a date just lemme give you my number i’ll text you the address soon.” i present my phone to him as he begins to type out his phone number into his phone, naming his self matt s with a panda emoji next to it.

he’s still typing a little after he names himself, thinking nothing of it i just let him place my phone back into my hand at him as i wave to him bidding him goodbye.

i let my shoulders relax after i see him turn a corner and is out of my line of sight. god why am i so bad at talking to guys, that was straight embarrassing, i thought to myself.

——————

thursday afternoon

madi and i met for coffee after our classes were finished, we caught up ate some small pastries and drank coffee, the usual. but once i told her about what happened yesterday….

“YOU WHAT??” madi says, nearly snorting out her coffee from her nose.

“i agreed to help tutor matt so he can pass this class” i repeat to her seeing zero problem with this.

“so you wanna tutor him, at his house, without his brothers home, at night.” madi tells me in a “matter of fact” tone

“well if you say it like that it sounds like i’m dancing with the devil over here.” i say sarcastically still not seeing the problem.

“you. matt. alone. even after what happened at the party?” madi retorts bringing up the party again.

“okay i still have no fucking clue what you mean by matt was eyefucking me at that party, i was enjoying myself and he was more or less just observing everyone at the party.” god just hearing myself make me realize what is happening.

“you know, just good luck and please don’t be so naive, i don’t want you to get hurt.” madi says in such a sincere tone.

“i’m glad you are at least okay with the whole idea of it, but i gotta go, i have a shift in an hour.” i tell her collecting my things, she stands up and ghosts a kiss on my cheak.

“kk love ya girl, i’ll see you tomorrow.” madi says waving me off before i become late for my shift.

let’s just hope she has at least a little bit of faith in me.

authors note - YAYAYAYAYAY IM SO EXCITED FOR THIS !!!

[ggfj84]

Anyone who's worked a corporate job could tell you the idiots on tumblr and twitter who do their organizing online and made a point to "stock up the days before and after the boycott" didnt make a fucking drop of difference. Do fucking better. 1 day is nothing.

My initial reaction to your comment -

“Anyone who’s worked a corporate job” - as if I didn’t work for one of the big four accounting firms, eight years at an international travel company, and am currently working at a company owned by a Wall Street banker.

Oh, man. Tumblr can be so funny sometimes.

First, it appears you missed the memo, but the boycotts are through July. So it’s not one and done. I’ll post a calendar below. Plan accordingly.

Second, do you know how much this is going to plague people? Check out this article about website traffic from Forbes. I’ve been called into my boss’s office for less drastic dips, and every monthly, quarterly, and annual report is going to have to come with, “Well, people boycotted us, so you’ll see the dip here, here, and here.”

SEO, sales, marketing, accounting - dude, this is going to fuck up every corporate report, and that’s before we get to the actual monetary result - which we may never know.

(Interlude: All the above may seem trivial, but it’s really not. While we want Jeff and Mark to back down from our boycotts, they are far more likely to listen to their CFOs, CMOs, CTOs, CXOs, who say, “Sir, this is bad for business.” Just ask Target who is being sued by their shareholders.)

Back to the money - I’ve had accounting friends lose out on jobs because they can’t “sway” the numbers enough to please the corporate overlords. There are reasons you hear of shredding when a company goes under. How about Macy’s? The company just found one person was able to manipulate their shipping costs by hundreds of millions of dollars. Did you know Twitter is going for a funding round, like a start-up? Suuuure, that’s worth $44 billion again. So it’s hard to say for sure just what monetary impact February 28th had.

But here's the kicker - It's not one day.

The Economic Blackout on February 28th was just one part of a movement that includes:

Boycotts and demonstrations of Telsa dealerships (shout-out to Rocklin, in a deep red area).

The burning of Telsa cars in France.

The burning of Telsa chargers in Boston.

Rep. Al Green confronting Trump about his destruction of Medicaid during the SOTU. (We need more of this.)

Angry voters confronting their Republican representatives during town hall meetings.

Angry voters confronting their Democratic representatives during town hall meetings.

Angry Americans confronting JD Vance in Vermont while on vacation after six weeks on the job and not saying thank you to voters.

NATO meeting without the U.S. for the first time since 1940s.

Canada's Prime Minister speaking directly to us, the American people, about what our own government is doing to us.

Angry Canadians booing our national anthem (yes, this is part of the same protests).

Economic Blackout is the least we can do, and it's something - for the most part - everyone can do. You may not see it as something big or important, but when added to the list above, it becomes something bigger.

We become bigger than a single person simply not getting their paper towels on a Friday.

Do your part, and keep the faith.

[sexiestpodcastcharacter]

Sexiest Podcast Character — Scripted Bracket — Finals

Propaganda

Captain Isabel Lovelace (Wolf 359):

Her everything <3 But in all seriousness WHAT is more sexy than a haunted, competent, funny, cursed, vengeful, mourning, badass, doomed woman?

listen to the run and hide speech and tell me that isn't the sexiest thing you've ever heard

Hot space lady who could kill me mmm yes please!

(sort of) twice-undead space captain who wired a bomb to her heart to make sure the crew of her ship didn't kill her before her escape shuttle got working. she's funny she's a genius she knows how to use a gun and she cares very much about her crew (despite the whole bomb thing).

#LOVELACE #idk who she’s up agaunst really tbf #but she cares so SO much #she gets boiled down to ’tough scary lady hot’ a lot (which 100% agree) but #she is heartbroken about her failure to keep her crew safe #and stubbornly wants to make sure none of it is in vain #even if it kills her #HOT. ​even apart from how hot her monologues and threats to hilbert are #also her and eifel laughing and getting along when they first meet her 😭 yall #anyway. lovelace 1000%. the defense rests

Vote Lovelace cuz of the way she says "Hi honey, I'm home" to the bastard who shot her in the head, and then how she proceeds to beat him up <3 Oh. And how she twists his arm and says "good boy". Yeah.

LOVELACE SWEEP LOVELACE SWEEP GO LISTEN TO HER RUN AND HIDE SPEECH AND WEEP THAT GODDARD AERONATICS EVER KILLED HER ENTIRE CREW AND ALSO HER (she recovered) AND MADE HER THEIR ENEMY

#LOVELACE SWEEP. DO NOT FUCKING LET ME DOWN #Lovelace is so much to me #Seen some people in the notes citing the run and hide speech#Which is very good #but my personal favorite Lovelace thing is variations on a theme #The cyclical nature of trauma #The lack of trust #The fear #the sadness #‘You can never go home. You were home. And now you’re back— and you can never go back.’ #Lovelace hearing Hera say something to her and #Thinking ‘what she’s actually saying is that I’m a demon and she would be glad to kill me in a slow and horrifying manner’ #Is so #I don’t agree that Lovelace is doomed either #Like #lovelace did die. But #She got out of that pain and trauma #How do you listen to her say that she is Isabel Lovelace #That she rejects the person that pain made her to be #And say she’s doomed

captain lovelace helped 12yo me realise I like women. She’s so hot. her threatening Hilbert is the sexiest thing I’ve ever heard. isabel lovelace SWEEP

If you don't vote for lovelace you're all lying about supporting womens' wrongs.

Not to be dramatic or anything, but I will never forgive any of you if you let Lovelace lose. She's tragic, she's haunted, she's an alien clone, she's vengeful but trying to be a better person. SHE DIDNT DIE TWICE FOR Y'ALL TO LET HER LOSE THE SEXIEST PODCAST CHARACTER TOURNAMENT. And I'm sorry. The part when (see propaganda above) she is intentionally pissing off Kepler so in the event he kills one of the hostages it's her instead of Eiffel??? Shit talking Kepler AND trying to save Eiffel's life? Serving absolute cunt. Sexiest moment of all time, actually.

Are we all forgetting that her introduction involved keeping a dead man switch for her spaceship (converted into a bomb) wired into her goddamn HEART??? Vote Lovelace or else

VOTE FOR ISABEL LOVELACE, HOTTEST WOMAN ON THIS PLANET (AND OUT OF THIS WORLD 🤘). she is everything to me , always . im head over heels

Hera (Wolf 359):

I don't care if she's an AI with no physical form, she is HOT

my digital wife <3

oh it's always "i want a hot computergirl with poor cable management to glitch on my shit" and "i want to fuck her until she bluescreens" on this website until it's time to put your money where your mouth is. i have a post about usb penetration with tens of thousands of notes. i see the things you all say. you have a hot computergirl in front of you and this is how you all repay her? you would abandon her? prove yourselves as the computer sex website; vote for hera NOW!!!

"everyone voting Hera in this round is doing it strictly because she is an AI" WRONG. INCORRECT. everyone voting for hera is doing it because she's funny and thoughtful and passionate and wears her heart on her sleeve despite all of the times people have let her down. because she's anti-authority, and that's sexy. it's sexy that she's an AI because the way she navigates being a woman in that context is inherently transgender, and THAT'S sexy, but on its own? not even like, top five most relevant things about her. self-determination? that's sexy.

VOTE FOR HERA. i'm not done. i've made the case that she would want this more, and that's true, but you should also want her. the propaganda says she doesn't have a physical form - in one sense, that's true, but she DOES have an internal self-image and the desire for physicality. most of the physical sensations she's experienced so far have been painful - think of what you could do for her. she has human desire without the means to act on it. she's the most touch starved anyone has ever been. making love to someone who can't be touched by conventional means IS inherently sexy and it IS a win for disabled trans women everywhere.

she's passionate and kind of emotionally unstable and fiercely loyal - "officer eiffel? he's your deadman's switch. if you let him die, or if you do anything that doesn't fall under the category of do no harm, i will go off. i will rain acid on your ass. i will crank the temperature in the room so high that your skin will crack, and bubble, and burn. i will vent you into space through a hole the size of a quarter. and if i am feeling very, very generous, i won't do all those things slowly." like come on!! what more do you want!!

VOTE FOR HERA. my final, last-minute appeal: her character arc is fundamentally about identity, autonomy, and being seen the way she wants to be seen. the way she navigates her identity as a woman in this context is inherently transgender, and that IS sexy. she's funny, she's passionate, she's sweet, she's been let down repeatedly by almost everyone she's ever met and she still opens her heart to people because she so badly craves connection. she's frustrated, touch starved, and pent up, and was initially rejected from service because of her impulsive, emotional, unorthodox way of thinking. i have so much more i could say on her behalf, but this IS a contest of sex appeal. thinking outside the box, breaking rules, and reaching beyond the limitations of her own form is so central to who she is. hera could come up with freak shit beyond the comprehension of the average person, and she IS enthusiastic enough to make it work.

[bangtansboyf]

━━━ 'CHAPTER ONE' [STRICTLY BUSINESS]

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SUMMARY ➢ seems like you had no idea that when you put an ad onto a website for omegas titled, 'young omega needs help to make money' you would have alot more replies then you expected. good thing you have your wise alpha friend to help you weed out the weird responses.

AU ➢ omegaverse au! ceo au!

PAIRING ➢ ot7 x m!reader, rich!beta!seokjin, rich!alpha!namjoon, rich!beta!yoongi, rich!alpha!hoseok, rich!alpha!jimin, rich!beta!taehyung, rich!alpha!jungkook, assistant!omega!male!reader

CONTENT WARNING ➢ in this chapter there will be; brief mention of horny people online hitting up m/c, m/c stutters a bit when hes nervous, some mean alphas scare m/c, michan goes protective mode, past events involving loneliness, m/c raises his voice a bit. [pls lmk if i missed any!]

MOODBOARD | MASTERLIST

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times have changed in the last four years. the prior president had stepped down from his position in office and a newer and younger vice president took his place. the new president also happened to be a male omega, the first of many. ever since he became president, the laws that were constricting omegas and betas for centuries were finally being revoked one by one. which brought joy to many throughout the country, and yes, some annoyance to very few.

however, that did not stop the new omega president to help his own kind in having basic civil rights, such as freedom of speech, freedom to walk in any part of the country without a mate, freedom to not be mated by 20, freedom to apply to any job, etc. for many years, omegas were treated as though they practically were pets. being seen as incompetent and irresponsible, many did not want to hire them let alone befriend them.

how you ended up with a female alpha for a friend, the world will never know. being both seen as a 'rare mutation' maybe the world had a plan for you both afterall. which leads to the reason you came knocking on her apartment door at 10:00 am, to find a job.

the door opened slightly as a squinting michan peaked through, you could hear a small grumble in her chest as she opened it wider and ushered for you to come in. "hurry up," she growled. you had come to learn there was different types of growlings. they didnt all signify harm, michan taught you that. "im sorry, you told me to come at 10." you slipped off your sneakers and placed your scarf on her clothing rack by the door as she locked it. "who actually comes at the time someone tells them to?" her large eyes narrowed down onto you. you two have always been complete opposites ever since you met in middle school. she was always terrible at academics while you aced them, she was a constant flirt while you were very shy, she kept her circle very small while you were open to new friends (however they never did come).

she was one of the only people in your life that geniunely enjoyed you for yourself and not for your status, your mind or your body. no matter how contrasting you two were, your personalities couldnt have gotten along better. platonic soulmates is what you called it when you searched it up online-- to which michan gagged at.

"i-i thought that was the point?" you responded with a small head tilt, confusion had accompanied the comment from your lips. michan could only sigh before she lifted her hand and plopped it onto your head and proceeded to ruffle your hair. your whines of protest were answered as she headed to the kitchen, leaving you to fix the problem she fabricated. "lemme make my coffee then we can talk." it was safe to say that michan was addicted to any type of coffee. no matter how many times you lectured her to take care of her insides more and drink healthier alternatives. she would just flex her broad arm muscles to you and comment along the lines of  'these bad boys need coffee in order to scope out the betas'.

hence, you agreed to never say anything negative about coffee in front of her. instead you would make her other things that could waken her up without caffiene. at first, she would still refuse to try anything you made for her. leaving you very upset and her having to scarf down the food in order to stop you from spilling tears. sometimes being an omega had its perks.

you sat down by her round wooden table, enjoying the warmth that closed in on you. during winter, it was very difficult for you to feel warm in your nest at home. especially due to the fact that your apartments heating system has been broken for so long that you even offered to try and find someone to fix it, but your landlord cussed you out for thinking you had a right to tell him to do his job. stupid alphas. "alright bub, did you do what i told you last night?" pulling open a seat next to you, michan slowly sat in her seat beside you, similar to an elderly woman. groaning as her chair creaked while her weight pressed more and more until she was seated. you nodded with a shy smile, feeling prideful that you did the task correctly, you proceeded to bring your laptop out of your satchel and open it for her. michan began scrolling through the website while you laid your hands on your knees and giving repetitive squeezes of reassurance. waiting for her to praise you of your basic efforts. maybe it was the omega in you that always needed extra consolation.

although it appears that she had a stressed look on her face rather than a proud one, rubbing her forehead in annoyance. "w-whats wrong?" you asked nervously. biting on your bottom lip while trying not to squirm in your chair from her cinnamon scent spiking everytime her eyes scanned over something on the screen. "y/n, when i said to write a brief title, i meant something with a little more information. you have a bunch of horndogs replying to your ad now." she sighed and began clicking to delete the line of men and women who were attempting to reach you. "what? b-but they dont even know how i look?"

michan always envied your innocent mind, but at times like these she despised it. growing up she had to introduce you to almost every single thing you know now about the 'adult' world. giving you some of her dirty dvds and telling you to watch them, to which you complied, eager to please. however, it was safe to say youre entire body was flushed when you seen her next and told her off for making you watch such a thing. to which she responded with 'now you know why i dont hang out with you all the time'.

"they dont need to see what you look like, dork. when you are as desperate as they are, theyll fuck anything that has a hole." her harsh yet true words made you grimace. "wait, i think i found something that is somewhat normal." you lightened up at those words. your first job was definitely something you were excited for. being a newly 24 year old in such an advanced world, you finally felt as if you were becoming someone you dreamed of when you were younger. "it says, 'hello. i am a founder of hybe corportation, kim taehyung. we offer security to very important individuals in politics and an assistant is desperately needed to help file paperwork'." you peaked over her shoulder to see what she was reading, "having prior experience isnt required, so no need to worry. in person interview can be arranged if available. please contact us accordingly.' they left there phone number and website. hmm." michan squinted at the laptop.

almost trying to tell it to give up its secrets as to why a ceo would contact her omega friend-- who had made a terrible ad online. "no prior experience? thats good, right? i dont have any experience and i like to help." you smiled so wide your cheeks rose your eyes. your positivity seemed to slowly fade as michan spoke "well, it can be fake. ive heard of hype corporation and it is a real place..." she trailed off. "but?.." you urged her to continue.

michan sighed while tucking a piece of her bob behind her ear, "we will call and see whats up. if you get an interview im going with you to check it out." as the two of you made eye contact, you lightened up instantly, "r-really? thanks channie, i cant believe im gonna get a job! im finally gonna be able to pay noona back for paying my rent for me all these years," you stated with glee. "oh, you mean your super attractive older beta unnie who is single and very successful?" she batted her eyelashed with a hint of lust. those eyes of hers could never break you when it came to your sibling. "hands off my sister," you glared at her without an actual sign of threat. groaning, michan stood up to her full height and let out a playful low growl before heading to the living room. "youre no fun~"

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its been a few days since the call to set up an in person interview for you had happened -- michan ended up calling for you since you were too anxious. nonetheless, today was finally the day where you showcase your abilities. though you know you arent working with much, being an omega does have its perks. for example, omegas learn things way faster than alphas or betas, they do not know the definition of procrastination, and they are constantly wanting to please. which is exactly why michan said you would be perfect at this job.

you were desperately trying on different ties that you had in front of your mirror. you werent sure what to wear exactly to such an interview or any interviews for that matter. the black slacks that hugged your waist nicely while the white button up that was tucked into it made your bottom stick out a tad more than before. a small whine escaped your lips at the itchy feeling of the shirt on your skin. omegas were always prone to disliking rougher materials, breaking their skin out in hives when they were uncomfortable. needing to find a soft and comfy place to bury their skin in, in order to calm themselves.

huffing, you decided to put up with it, since it would be the only day you would need to dress up so nice, right?your hands went up into your hair and you began attempting to make it replicate a somewhat professional style. your locks deciding for you as your hands sweep through them. making you look even younger than you already do as your hair is slightly puffy. "y/n, im just gonna nap on your couch if you dont hurry up," her warning was calm but you knew she meant she was not going to be taking you if you both didnt leave that instant. a small whine escaped your throat at the threat, "o-okay! im sorry," a small pout accompanied your lips as you quickly grabbed your satchel and headed outside the small apartment you lived in.

michan knew of your anxiousness as soon as you had stepped foot in the car. the obstruction of your usual light scent was almost clouding her vision, the thick smell of stress laying on her shoulders. "yah, im gonna need you to take a few deep breaths." glancing over at you to see your hands were tightly clasped over one another and your legs were shaking.

you did as told and once you felt your legs begin to feel loosened, michan had spoke. "its just a job interview, ive done plenty of 'em. all your gonna do is answer the questions they ask you honestly and then they'll usually tell you if you got the job right then and there. the guy messaged you saying they needed an omega so youre the perfect candidate, okay? you got this in the bag," michan always knew how to comfort you in times of stress. you two could live with eachother for the rest of your lives and you would be satisfied knowing you had a just a loving friend who took care of you. well, michan would deny it but, she also couldnt deny the way her cinnamon aroma would smell even sweeter than usual at the thought. you took one more deep breath and felt better knowing how exactly it was going to happen instead of walking inside, blind.

you couldnt help but wonder if you could make any friends at the workplace. your inner child wanting to bond with other people so badly, wanting to make up for the lost childhood you had had. if you had a tail it would be wagging at this moment. "what are you so smiley for now?" michan gave you a quirk of her eyebrow before you responded with a shy voice. "m-maybe there will be other omegas and we can...we can be friends. since, it will probably be their first job too," you tried explaining your last hope for someone to befriend. michan held back a sigh of annoyance, the one thing you couldnt listen to michan about was forming new bonds. growing up you were constantly kind and it was taken for granted. however, you still had an ounce of justification for every single wrong someone did to you. michan was annoyed of it and usually scared away anyone that would try to talk to you with ill intentions. how did she know that someone was using you? well, that was something she kept to herself, but you were grateful nonetheless.

unfortunately, she still cant help but see the 11 year old boy who just wanted to play freeze tag with his peers but they would just leave him frozen throughout the game. michan would always come to save him but someone would instantly just freeze him. a 12 year old alpha muttering along the lines of 'omegas should know when to stay put'. michan thanked the heavens above you didnt seem to hear it, your excited smile and laughs continued as you stayed frozen and watched everyone else run and have fun. your scent was constantly flourishing that day, michan remembered. now 24 year old you was sitting in her passanger seat and had the same excited smile on your face. she couldnt help but feel nostalgic over the feeling she smelt off of you, "we'll see when we get there bub." you knew she held back on what she truly wanted to say, yet you were grateful she let your urge to befriend slide this time.

"can we eat afterwards?" you change the subject, smoothly. michan looked upwards at the sign on the street, squinting, before turning right onto a that lead to a huge apartment complex. "uh...yeah, we can." you noticed her odd demeanor as she halted the cars movements and stared at the building. "w-what? what is it?" her uneasiness coercing you to feel antsy in your seat. "this is supposed to be the place." her statement came out more as a question, raising her hand and pointing it out for you to see the huge and expensive looking building that had security outside of it. "isnt that.." michan looked over at you, "an apartment complex? yeah, this seems weird."

suddenly, you were hit with a wave of dejected emotions. what if this hybe corporation interview was fake afterall? you were once again cheated of a job and friends once again. cheated into thinking you actually had a chance at a somewhat normal life and bond. that you could actually be someone that could do basic tasks and not be shadowed by your own fears and doubt of not being a good enough human being. if you were as capable as michan said you were, why hasnt anything that is supposed to happen, happen?

"lets just go inside and see whats up," michan sighed as soon as she had seen your disappointment. as quickly as you were upset, the feelings seemed to do a full 180 as you looked upwards at her with hopeful eyes. "r-really? were gonna go look?" michan nodded with a low growl, "yes, but if i see anything fishy! we are leaving and going to gingers for brunch and thats that." she stated to which you whined happily at, trying not to wiggle in your seat fron your excitement. "okay, okay! we'll leave right away then."

you both unbuckled your seatbelts and headed out of the car that brought both you and michan comfort since high school. "see you soon, sweetheart. dont miss mama too much," you rolled your eyes at michans attachment to her car. before you both turned to make eye contact with two very tall and broad security guards who were already staring at the two of you. michan swallowed a growl of dominance while you walked alongside her and up to the two men. as soon as you broke distance with the two, you instantly knew they were alphas. their scent very strong even for michan, she knew you were struggling to not run away then and there. she hurriedly spoke, "hello, we're here for an interview with mr. kim taehyung." the two men looked at one another, almost speaking without actually speaking. "mr. kim taehyung, isnt here at the moment. you'll have to come back another time." one stated, matter-of-factly. you took a small inhale in disbelief. "b-but he s-said.." you trailed off as they now had their full attention on the you. the smaller omega that accompanied the female alpha, almost looking down at you in all aspects.

"im sorry, i think theres been a mistake," michan took a step in front of you to cover your body a smidge, "we called and scheduled an appointment with him today at this exact time, how could he not be here?" she asked with a slight menacing tone. you knew the undertones of alphas not getting along so well, very few packs had many alphas since they all constantly wanted to dominate. "like he said. hes not in right now." the other spoke up with a very loud growl coercing you to gasp while your body began to tremble. curse your omegan instincts.

they took one last glance at you specifically which made you duck your head down, feeling timid. one of the alphas scoffed before grabbing a walkie-talkie from behind him and speaking into the device, "mr. kim, there is two visitors who are looking for mr. taehyung and refusing to leave. do we escort them out?" it was silent for what almost seemed long enough for them to question if the frequency even worked. abruptly, a deep voice rang through, "let them up."

a gulp had pried its way down your throat as the two men reluctantly moved and opened the heavy glass door that led to a staircase heading upwards. "lets go, y/n," michan grabbed your hand firmly, but never too hard, and led you up the stairs. you quickly walked behind her, not enjoying how exposed you were to the alphas that had practically threatened michan with promising growls. the two men knew you were afraid and so did michan. even if someone didnt have the same sense of smell, people would still be able to tell how shook up you looked. you could hardly breathe by the time you finally reached the top of the staircase. only able to focus on michans scent that she seemed to push to engulf you, in order to calm your erratic heart. walking down the long hallway to the one double door that it lead to, michan suddenly turned around and knelt downwards, you looked down at her slightly with small breaths leaving your nose. trying your best to seem calm but you could never lie to her. michan seemed to notice as well, "okay. we are safe, so we are gonna take a few deep breaths."

she could see your eyes gazing at her with trust before following what she demonstrated to you. she truly was someone who you could rely on and you hoped she felt the same way. "im...im okay," you finally spoke between breaths. michan nodded before fixing your coat, throwing any signs of your stress down the drain. "bub remember, just a few questions then we head out to eat and we go to my house...and you can sleepover if you want." you brightened at that. nodding frantically as she let out a breathy laugh, "lets do this."

michan raised her fist and knocked twice on the door before silence was the only thing you two could hear. instantaneously, the door opened inwards to reveal a tall man with spectacles and a white buttoned up shirt. the light smell of coffee beans wafted into your face as he opened the door more. an alpha. his sleeves were ritten up so much you couldnt help but ogle at the mans arms that bulged out of his shirt. the shirt itself was having a hard time staying off the mans skin, the buttons so tight you could tell he was very well fit. your heart seemed to have relaxed from what happened prior but it was beating quickly for a very different reason. he was very handsome, you noted. "come in," he gestured while making room for you both. michan took a step first and you swiftly followed after bowing to the man respectfully, he only gave a half smile at that though.

you and michan both took off your shoes and followed the man who walked past a huge living space with windows that were so high they touched the second story cieling. to the left was a very wide kitchen that had marble counter tops and black sleek chairs on the island. it smelt of a bit of mint mixed with dark chocolate. it made you feel hazy at the scent, visibly relaxing as they walked in a-- once again, large room that had an equally large white desk. this was his office, you distinguished, "please, take a seat." his voice knocked the outgoing thoughts you were having.

bringing reality back into your mind, you stated a small 'thank you' before sitting on the black leather cabroile couch. you were grateful you couldnt feel the cushion on your skin, due to the fact that you would be very uncomfortable the whole time. leather and omegas did not mix well often.

"im guessing your the guy who messaged him?" michans voice once again had that tone of dominance in it. she couldnt help it even if she tried, "no, unfortunately, taehyung-ssi could not be here today because of an unexpected emergency." the silver haired man explained while moving a few piece of papers to other side of his desk to have space to see you two on the couch. from the undertones in the way the man spoke, michan knew he was lying but she wasnt sure why. putting her more on edge about being here. however, you seemed to have missed the memo as you quietly ask, "i-is everything, okay?" truly concerned for someone you have never met. michan supressed a petty laugh, knowing you would be upset with her for being insensitive to an -- what you believed to be-- actual urgent situation.

"yes, everythings fine. he should be back soon-" michan couldnt hold back anything else as she heard the man answer you, her very gullible and too kind-hearted friend, with another lie. "look i dont deal with devious men like you often but when i do, i always make sure to put them in there place." michans --yet calm and collected warning was something you were not prepared for in anyway. what happened to the peptalk she had given you a few minutes before? "the two idiots downstairs called you mr. kim on the radio, how are you not taehyung?" michans question did seem to spark something in your mind. you didnt catch that prior due to the fact you were mostly dealing with your legs almost buckling underneath you.

something that you were also not prepared for was how calm and collected the man had kept himself throughout michans tauntings. he sat with a nuetral expression, almost as if he saw it coming from a mile away and already conjured a plan within that time to deal with it. "my apologies for not introducing myself earlier, my name is kim namjoon. my brother was the founder and i am now the owner of hybe corporation, its a pleasure to meet you." he stuck out his hand to which michan looked as if she was close to almost ripping that same arm off. quickly you tried to put away your timidness and stood up and placed your hand in his, it must have caught him off guard, since he didnt squeeze your hand back for a few seconds. you pulled your hand to your chest and felt heat rush to your ears, "m'sorry..i j-just wanted to introduce myself...too." your voice seemed to begin failing on you as the alpha standing before you stared at you as you stuttered through your mess of an apology.

namjoon cleared his throat, recovering from whatever trance he was in as you seemed to make yourself even smaller than before. "no! it's completely fine, encouraged even. you must be the one im interviewing today," he stated with a wider smile. his facial expression seemed to have reassured you enough as your heavy embarrassment was peeled off of your back like a bandaid. you nodded with a nervous laugh, "uh y-yes, thats me. my name is l/n y/n." you sat back down hesitantly as soon as he had done the same. "okay y/n," his voice and your name seemed to have clicked so well together, you had to clear your throat as you felt an oncoming purr.

"and im guessing this is your lovely mate?" he gestured to michan with a slight sarcastic undertone but you did not seem to catch it as michan let out a warning snarl. "o-oh! no! this is my best friend, cho michan. s-shes here as um...m-my support." you explained as namjoons grey eyes flickered over to the woman who seemed to be your best friend and was currently glaring daggers at his face. how could complete opposites be best friends. "is that okay?" you asked nervously.

"i dont see why not." namjoon exhaled while flickering his eyes back to your innocent ones and gave a small smile, to which you returned. your eyes squinted a bit as your smiled, growing more comfortable with the man as he seemed to make you feel relaxed. maybe you just havent spoke to many people but he seemed nice.

"alright, im going to ask you some questions y/n-ssi and from what im aware of this is your first job, correct?" namjoon asked as you quickly nodded. namjoon looked to his computer screen and began typing away, "you are also 24 years old and you graduated high school a year younger than the average omega," he looked at you for answers and all you provided him was a small head nod. feeling shy talking about your little achievements, he just continued asking you questions. "have you applied to any colleges? it says you never pursued your education after that," you exhaled with a shaky breath. "um, y-yes, many.." namjoon observed the way your chest seemed to tighten at the question. however, he decided to just a push a little more. not knowing why he wanted to test your limits even if it was something as small as this. perhaps it was because the way he could see your ankles peaking through the bottom of your sleek pants as you sat. your foot wanting to bounce to convey your anxiousness but you put your hand firmly on your knee. pushing it to the ground until it had no space to move at all from it. "did you get accepted to any schools?"

now this question was something you didnt expect to be speaking about on a job interview. a small piece of your heart stings felt like they were being painfully strung. michan could only look down solemnly as she glanced at your lips parting with intent on your mind, yet nothing came out.

"y/n-ssi, i think if we were going to work together you might want to grow content with being more vocal." you couldnt help but feel startled at the sudden voice behind you. your body jumped with a small whimper, to which michan instantly stood up at, "excuse you! maybe you should work on staying more quiet we are in an interview, if you didnt notice." her heated slits turning its target from the man who leaned against the doorway to namjoon who was still seated and watching the confrontation from his desk. "do you let all of your employees walk all over you or do you actually hold some authority here?" she asked with a menacing growl.

you knew michan was only acting out due to the fact you were an omega and she had come across alot more male alphas than usual in one day. "m-michan-ah, im okay. really, it just startled me." you tried reassuring her but she stayed standing with her hands crossed on her chest. "y/n-ssi, this is yoongi. he is also an owner of hybe," namjoon ignored the female alphas harsh words.

you looked over your shoulder to see the raven haired man walking toward you with a slight smirk, "hello, y/n-ssi~," to say you felt small was an understatement. as looking at him this close you had a few seconds to realize something else, he was also very handsome. he broke distance with you quickly with his long legs, his scent hit you rather quickly. mint was twirling around your head, a beta, you noted. however, you also noticed namjoon and yoongi both have a different charm to them. "o-oh, its a pleasure to meet you," you stuck out your hand for him to shake, he instantly placed his in yours. well, more like yours in his. his large fingers wrapped around your entire hand, his fingertips tickling your inner wrist. "no, please. the pleasure is all mine." he gave a sly smile while still clutching your definite smaller hand. you could feel the tension rise as he still hadnt let go. letting out an embarrassed cough, you removed your hand quickly. not wanting to start anything odd before you started working here and seeing him every day for as long as you lived. you wouldnt want another job if you liked this one, right?

"when namjoon-ah told me we finally have an omega who would want to work with a corporation that has no other omega in sight, to say i was interested was an understatement," the tall mans slender fingers wrapped around his own wrist and laid over his waist. "im sorry? did you just say...no other omegas?" you asked in disbelief. namjoon must have percieved your disappointment and confusion written on your face because he stood up instantly and walked around his desk towards you two.

"i hadnt told him, yet-" namjoons mutters were cut short as the sound of two pairs of irregular footsteps were entering the household, the sound of the front door shutting shortly after. you peered over your left shoulder once again only to be met with strong scents. dark chocolate and melted caramel making your head feel hazy. why could you smell these peoples scents so profoundly?

"i told you! you need to use your cane properly or else it will become a bigger problem for you in the future!" a broad shouldered man with brown locks and golden eyes entered first. a beta. then came a slighter shorter one with black sleek hair that fell slightly over his bare forehead. an alpha. "then ill deal with it in the future, hyung." the alpha rolled his eyes. glancing downwards, you seen what the other man was speaking on, the alpha had a small limp to him. before anyone else could say anything, michan stood up, "this is getting ridiculous. let me guess, their ceo's as well?" her question was directed to namjoon who seemed to have an irritated look in his dark eyes. you bit your bottom lip as you noticed it, feeling afraid. consequently, the look in his eyes were glazed over in professionalism once again. "you are correct, ms. cho. there are seven of us in total working here. y/n-ssi, this is kim seokjin and jung hoseok," namjoon gestured to the two men who seemed to have been a deer caught in headlights.

it was silent for a millisecond too long, you swiftly stood up then hesitantly bowed beside namjoon. registering how much shorter you were to the average beta and alpha. alphas were averagely well built and not to mention tall. betas were very fit and more on the slimmer side due to their ancestors-- wolves, were known to be the glue to the pack. always taking care of the heart of the pack (omega) while the alphas were out hunting. so it says in history books.

"its nice to meet you both," you stood back up with a shy smile and glazed eyes. something that both seokjin and hoseok noted, nonetheless you couldnt help but feel a bit hazy as their scents were still flooding the entire room. leaving only a little bit of air for your lungs not to collapse. "are you just going to keep emitting your pheromones like that? you could make him sick!" michan shouted to stop the ongoing train of silence. the two men glanced at her then back to you, taking in your swaying figure and now drooped eyes. "i-im sorry, i-i didnt mean to hurt...i w-was just upset earlier s-so it..kind of.." seokjin took a step forward with a look of concern in his eyes. not leaning to touch you however, he rapidly reeled in his pheromones. the dark chocolate disappears from your nose and all you could smell now was the gradually fading scent of melted caramel. together it smelt beautiful, so beautiful you could drown in it. "i would never hurt an omega.." jin finished with one final mutter and a solemn look on his face.

"okay mr. serious, we get it. it was an accident," yoongi crossed his arms with a breathy laugh. jin rolled his eyes before pulling on the other betas ear, "i outta let you starve later, make your own food." he growled as yoongi gripped his ear with a whine and a grimace.

"uh no, its okay!" you waved your hands with an embarrassing heat rising to your ears, "it didnt hurt me it just was alot i wasnt prepared for." you fiddled with your tie that laid down your chest, namjoon turned towards you. resulting in you looking up at him, "i would apologize for their behavior but you might need to get used to it since you will be seeing them often." he gave a toothy smile and you swear your cheeks had heated up for a different reason.

"w-wait," your eyelashes fluttered with bewilderment, "seeing them often? does..that mean-" you whispered.

"yes, youre hired y/n-ssi. welcome to the team," yoongi cut you off with a small smirk and his large muscular arms opening wide for you. you were so geniunely excited about the news you merely jumped in them before michan pulled your coat back towards her. "hold on, bub," she growled at the four men she seen were all eyeing her best friend. "i think we are going to end...whatever you call this, early. we applied to other places and they definitely will have better options for him. so thank you but no thank you," she gave a fake smile while pulling you along with her. "what?! michan, please! i just got my first job-"

you pulled your arm away from her grip to which she growled at, "y/n, these guys are not professional whatsoever. i am not leaving you with them-"

to say that you were growing tired of being treated like a child was an understatement. you were finally getting a normal life and you were so eager to impress not only yourself but the others around you. just one opportunity to show that you were a normal human being. just one moment, thats all you could ask for. "enough!" you shouted. michan quickly stopped her rant and looked at you with wide eyes, "im going to take this job because its a very good shot for me. i dont even know any other job that will hire me right know and you know i need the money," michan closed her eyes with a heavy sigh.

the four men stood awkwardly while watching the whole discussion until hoseok whispered to namjoon, "hes kinda fiesty." namjoon only scoffed with a playful grin. "if only you were here earlier."

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TAGLIST !

@xdinosaucex @juju-227592 @pete--r @matchat3a @luvingyu @lucphoenix @bunzom @tinyoonsblog

if you are bolded, i cant tag you :(

[shiro-0197]

AHH it's okay the important thing is that you got your rest!! I'm glad you're okay now tho xD

oh my gosh YES 😭💖 I'd love that. There's just something special about the ice cream there, I swear—

Yes it was very very nice. Gordon was as cute as ever, and it was nice just hanging out with my friends on the first day of the new year.

oh I'm not sure what the fashion ones are for (probably yes, to make people look hotter grrr) but I have a few sports ones because they help with my grip, like cycling and tennis. It protects the palms, I guess, haha.

No I understand. Your school probably has different branches in other cities. Mine doesn't but I know some that do, so don't worry I'm not confused 😝😝

ahhh I'm sorry xD we use the term freely here, kinda like what you call your best friend, but okay twins with an age gap, that's cute. You're right, you two are pretty similar, at least from what I've seen. I have Aaron, who's very similar to me, so I can understand how you regard Kuro haha. But yes, it's always nice to relate to someone and have them with you. I've said this tons of times, but you guys are truly lucky to have each other.

thank you :) I hope so too. It's just something I have to work on, I suppose. But I'm really good at hiding my emotions, to the point where my friends don't know what I feel at all (besides happiness), and that's pretty scary honestly, because I wish I could be more transparent about it. Oh off topic again, but yeah just wanted to put that out there xD

I'm sure she considers you a huge help to her, and it's plain to see that you love her very much, so I hope things get easier for her!!

oh please don't worry about that at all, I completely understand! When I said that, I hope it didn't come out as me asking or anything (it was never my intention 😣😣)— I just meant that I didn't even need to know, because I still think you're cute and attractive all the same :)) and I already have a rough idea from what you've told me, so don't worry about creating an artbreeder :P (tho I've seen a bunch of anime characters on artbreeder and they're so pretty. I might just use it myself to make Oikawa or the Miya twins on it 😭😭💖)

Oh I see that's so cool!! You're mixed too :)) and yeah, it'd be so nice meeting people from other cultures as well >.< It's a shame, but that's okay! I'm sure one day, you'll be able to travel wherever you want, and bring your mom along too :))

I hope so too !! Fingers crossed, it might be the start of a beautiful new friendship ;)

aw that sounds so cute!! I'm so envious of people who have dreams, I rarely have them and it's so nice to indulge in them when you're asleep, and remember them when you wake !! do you have dreams often? And ahhh good good !! Glad they didn't lie about it or anything smh -_- I'm happy you enjoyed it :) and that's okay I'm weird too, we'll be weird together 😚💖

Intelligence is hot— 😭. And I'll probably start rambling about the history of firecrackers because I'm a show-off too (did you know they originated from China? 😍)

😃🔫 It ended an hour and a half late. I was too tired to watch anything :(( but that's okay I'll watch it tonight!! I hope you're enjoying your day. I love you more.

—ɐuɐᴉɹɐ🙃

Ahhh so sorry for late response!! I had to go out and I left my phone because it was out of battery😭😭

Ohh, does it? I hope they have melon ice cream😝

Aww that makes me so happy??!? I hope your next hey year goes like this, too!! I'm glad you had a great time

Ohh, right, I forgot about those xD yeah, I guess it's slippery when your hands are sweaty so gloves are useful. I really have no knowledge in sports clothes😭😭

Alright alright, glad you know!! Tbh I really hoep I can visit his school as a graduate one day:D

We really are😩 it's really awesome to have someone who's like you. It's like you're talking to yourself, but people won't find you weird because you're actually talking to another person. Though their answers are actually unpredictable, but that's good😋 I'm really glad you have Aaron. He seem like a great lil guy^^

I see what you mean, to be honest I'm like that too when I really dont feel well. It's really nice that you're trying to change that for yourself! Dont worry about getting offtopic, I do so as well hehe

Me too!! I really hope so

No no no no dont worry, Kuro had the idea when he saw the trend. He knew I didnt like taking pics even though I'm not really insecure about myself, so he proposed making one so I can share. Because i want people to see that I'm pretty😡 snjrjwjdjsnfjw

About that, he likes to send me the ugliest pics from Artbreeder and says "this is you" because he thinks hes funny ( ok he is but 😭😭)

He sent me this bad boy saying it's me and to be honest I think I'm never going on that forsaken website ever

Btw good luck with making the guys!!! Tbh I barely know how to use it and usually I get pictures like ^that one so uh it's painful really xD

I sure will!! And I will kidnap Kuro and his mom and we will go to Norway and eat cheeseburgers👍 and meet you of course hehe

Well, I do have dreams! Pretty often too, though they're nothing much? Usually I'm just there, watering plants or eating fresh pastry (which hurts when I wake up because turns out I dont actually have any)

Exactly!! Also that's great to hear, so just two weirdos chilling😋

True true, if someone says something smart with a smart look on their face trust me I'm already in love and planning our marriage😭 heheh, let's be show offs together I guess💕💕 also, I'd say I didn't but i think i subconsciously knew (is that a thing ??) about that because of Kung Fu Panda 2 XD

Awhh😭😭 well, I hope you slept well and have the energy to watch it today!! I did enjoy my day, it was pretty cool, I got a spicy&juicy hot dog and a coffee (which was fake as hell and sucked ass) during my adventure 😝 I hope yours went fun as well! I missed you, love you lots💞💞💕

[somnilogical]

case study of optimization style: how kelsey piper optimizes to destroy coordination against injustice

her false face of "worrying about disrespecting jay", was the closest thing she could grab that she thought would get others to optimize for my silence. get local warm bodies to pile upon me for continuing to talk about how to get justice and give more information about different sources of injustice in a way compatible with people who have not completely disabled their general intelligence.

she was worried about her reputation and transfems gaining information that would allow them to coordinate along lines of shared oppression (which would start to erode miri/cfar which she wants to survive in order to have a nice (for her) environment to raise her babies), but thats not a socially defensible reason to object so she laundered it through being “worried about disrespecting jay”

11/12/2019

[14:10] Jay (System of Edo): Sarah Spikes has offered to have REACH do an investigation. I do not know this human, and have barely heard of REACH, but my understanding is that it's some sort of sub-organization that CFAR spawned, roughly. My instinct is to be like, "I believe you will talk to everyone and then conclude that basically no action needs to be taken, so in that case allowing you to do an investigation gives an air of legitimacy to dismissing Jay". Is "REACH is basically CFAR's pet" correct?

[14:10] acertain: afaik reach is unrelated to cfar

[14:11] acertain: and the space is controlled by Sarah Spikes and Nat

[14:11] ratsby: that's also my understanding

[14:11] Jay (System of Edo): I did not mean literally, I meant like in practice, are they complicit, etc

[14:11] Jay (System of Edo): like with CFARs bullshit in general

[14:11] ratsby: weren't REACH the ones who did the Brent investigation?

[14:12] silver-and-ivory: they did something about brent but weren't able to publish the stuff they got bc they believed he would sue them for defamation

[14:12] Jay (System of Edo): Oh wow. Cowards lol

[14:12] Jay (System of Edo): yeah that's pretty much all I need to know.

[14:12] Jay (System of Edo): thanks

[14:13] silver-and-ivory: :( I don't think they're cowards for that

[14:13] silver-and-ivory: but you have all the information i have so w/e

[14:14] acertain: I think reach doing an investigation would mean the reach panel (https://www.berkeleyreach.org/reach-panel), which afaik is a separate set of people from those who decide how the space is run

[14:18] acertain: idk if the list of people on the panel on the website is up to date though

[14:19] stardust: List is up to date

[14:19] stardust: Full Brent statement is available upon request, not fully public because legal risk

[14:20] silver-and-ivory: https://theunitofcaring.tumblr.com/post/182885399661/abuse-allegations-anon-here-i-am-happy-to-hear

[14:20] silver-and-ivory:REACH consulted an attorney about making the result of the Brent investigations public and were told that there was absolutely no way to do this without making each of the investigators individually liable in a defamation lawsuit. I’m also worried they could be sued to reveal the names of people who spoke to them anonymously in the course of the investigation.

[14:21] stardust: We were planning to get liability insurance when we get our legal non profit status but that has not panned out yet

[14:21] stardust: IRS is slow and hard to navigate

[14:22] Jay (System of Edo): okay, this is enough info on REACH, thanks.

[14:24] Jay (System of Edo): just told her not to investigate.

[14:24] ratsby: wait why?

[14:24] stardust: (She is me)

[14:25] Jay (System of Edo): oh.

[14:25] ratsby: I don't see how them investigating could hurt anything

[14:25] Jay (System of Edo):wait why?I don't believe they'll do anything tbh

[14:25] stardust: I will refrain from posting here if you prefer

[14:26] ratsby: seems like some chance of upside, no chance of downside?

[14:26] Jay (System of Edo):>I don't see how them investigating could hurt anything

My instinct is to be like, "I believe you will talk to everyone and then conclude that basically no action needs to be taken, so in that case allowing you to do an investigation gives an air of legitimacy to dismissing Jay". Is "REACH is basically CFAR's pet" correct?

[14:26] Jay (System of Edo):>I will refrain from posting here if you prefer

Yes, thanks.

[14:43] hamnox: The characterization of REACH panel as CFAR's pet feels bizarre. Iirc it got started in no small part because a bunch of locals were pissed off at how CFAR failed to do anything about, and implicitly legitimized, Brent.

[14:58] 𒀭 💮: i dont really know Jay, but i do know that the REACH panel is unjust and about as helpful and necessary as christian missionaries were to native americans. im not reporting my thing to it.linta is on it who made false accusations of emma being indistinguishable from a rapist and somni doing some sort of sex party at their house for social ends of suppression of unrelated dissent. and was generally antitrans in the standard way of saying people are crazy and incoherent, like how people are saying Ziz is schizophrenic when she obviously isnt. i think much of it are populated by lintas friends like mike alicorn and anisha. sarah c, one of the few cis people i trust at this point, had an emotional breakdown about it citing that they dont care about the Law and i think resigned. given the sort of place it is, i bet that none of the REACH panel members are transfem, people can correct me if im wrong.

im kinda for transfems coordinating with each other to the extent they can against people like brent dill, alice monday, lintamande, anna salamon and other agents of injustice. with better game theory than the likes of the REACH panel who flinch at "defamation".

[15:11] SeriesOfSymbols: Umm

Tbh I'm very uncomfortable with the idea that all these people are in the same reference class

[15:11] 𒀭 💮: they are in the reference class of perpetuating injustics

[15:11] lintamande: sort of assuming it would be unhelpful to Jay to litigate disagreements from elsewhere here. I don't know anisha. I don't think ziz is schizophrenic. I never said somni participated in the uninvited surprise orgy in my house, just that I was mad at the people who did. I don't think the REACH panel is good for anything except getting offenders banned from REACH in particular rn, and I think we should maybe check in with Jay about whether the rest of this is helping

[15:11] SeriesOfSymbols: As are

you

And  I

And ziz

Etc

[15:11] SeriesOfSymbols: Nobody is free from sin

[15:12] 𒀭 💮: ^ fallacy of grey

[15:12] 𒀭 💮: like also

[15:12] 𒀭 💮: there is a type difference

[15:12] 𒀭 💮: you socially but not legally implied to avoid culpability

[15:12] lintamande: guys does Jay want to host this conversation

[15:12] 𒀭 💮: the party things i could grep it

[15:13] lintamande: this is the server for helping Jay figure out what we can do to help

[15:13] TowerNumberNine: Jay appears to be idle at present

[15:13] TowerNumberNine: But previously they said there was enough info on REACH

[15:15] deluks917: Agree with Tower the Reach thing should get dropped

[15:15] 𒀭 💮: your "help" is poisoned in the same way that christian missionaries are and you are attempting to funnel peoples sights away from your injustice by framing me as derailing when this is relevant to Jay's needs.

[15:15] 𒀭 💮: and restriction of general intelligence is not.

[15:16] lintamande: somni I am happy to discuss this, I have messaged you offering to discuss this, I just am worried Jay will come back to this and feel like we are disrespecting what they've asked for here and not helping them

[15:16] SeriesOfSymbols: Fallacy of black and white

I think there is a meaningful difference between [rapists and abusers], [person who willfully covered for abuse], and [person who you have disagreements with]

[15:16] 𒀭 💮: i am not worried about this

[15:17] 𒀭 💮: i dont think im disrespecting Jay

[15:17] 𒀭 💮: there is a meaningful difference between stalin and yudkowsky, they are both, however, men.

[15:21] 𒀭 💮: coordination against agents of injustice is important. erasing the pattern of injustice is wrong. saying that all people are the same so we cannot coordinate against injustice because who knows who they are is wrong.it is important for people to know this sort of information so they dont do things like go to REACH expecting justice and then have their plans crumble.

[15:22] 𒀭 💮: people who present REACH as acceptable because "has not everyone sinned" are doing something wrong (linta is not doing this, they are doing a different sort of wrong thing, but also are erasing knowledge of the pattern of injustice)

[15:23] 𒀭 💮: or like if you run this reasoning on people and then apply it to reach with like "it couldnt hurt" are also doing something wrong

[15:24] x.: is there anything at all linta can say or do in this situation which will cause you to believe that they are not doing wrong?

[15:26] x.: (i am not sure how germane this topic is to anything, as this is not a dedicated "The Crimes of Lintamande" server, but so long as the subject is being discussed, i think it warrants asking)

[15:27] 𒀭 💮: yes, stop their suppression of emma and somni, their false claims made to not be culpable in a legal court but also to permeate a social court. stop their optimization for and apologism for cissexism, such in the case of minority stratification. "none of the panel members are transfem but the hosts are" "a lot of people who go to cfar are transfem but afaict none of the staff are" this is a bog standard oppression pattern which linta is familiar with.

[15:27] 𒀭 💮: and several other things.

[15:27] 𒀭 💮: i talked with them for months

[15:28] 𒀭 💮: before slowly and painfully realizing that they didnt care, that the structure they put out fed into evil, agentically. because they talked like my childhood friends who were particularly kind.

[15:28] 𒀭 💮: and i was vulnerable to that.

[15:28] 𒀭 💮: it was really hard to see through this aesthetic to how they were actually optimizing.

[15:29] 𒀭 💮: what effects they were having.

[15:29] x.: perhaps there is some other zone in which this chat would be more appropriate

[15:29] lintamande: that is what I have been saying

[15:29] 𒀭 💮: linta is trying to warp this conversation in that direction

[15:30] 𒀭 💮: because they dislike culpability

[15:30] x.: rather than both of you trying to get the last word in on what's clearly a grotesquely contentious conversation

[15:30] 𒀭 💮: i reject this plea of false peace

[15:30] 𒀭 💮: like

[15:30] 𒀭 💮: what you two are doing are obvious

[15:30] 𒀭 💮: i reject the framing of this not being relevant

[15:30] x.: right, every time one of you makes a post the other one immediately makes another

[15:31] 𒀭 💮: i reject this suppression of important information

[15:31] 𒀭 💮: framed as an irrelevant tangent

[15:31] lintamande: so I'm not saying 'this is irrelevant' I am saying 'let's check with Jay about whether this is helpful to Jay'

[15:31] x.: is new information being introduced?

[15:31] 𒀭 💮: i can see what you are doing

[15:31] lintamande: even if this is incredibly relevant and important it should happen somewhere else unless Jay wants it here

[15:31] 𒀭 💮: it is not optimizing for the good of jay

[15:31] 𒀭 💮: or the good of justice

[15:31] x.: @𒀭 💮 she's making posts online, which you are also doing

[15:33] 𒀭 💮: "making posts online" is important to the fate of the planet

[15:34] 𒀭 💮: like and a lot of other stuff. you cant say "its just making posts online, this is dumb" like sometimes posts are dumb but this is a reference class warp to claim this post is dumb, when i can see its not.

[15:35] x.: did i say it was dumb?

[15:35] 𒀭 💮: you are optimizing for like "you two are just contentlessly fighting, this is silly why dont we do something else besides fight." which is Pretending to be Wise.

[15:36] 𒀭 💮: https://www.greaterwrong.com/posts/jeyvzALDbjdjjv5RW/pretending-to-be-wise

[15:37] x.: i have actually not suggested the flamewar should stop, merely that this specific chat might not be a reasonable location for it

[15:37] 𒀭 💮: and talking with you about this pattern also supports lintas utility function which is suppression of the knowledge of injustice

[15:38] x.: i mean, i am not the person running the show here, so i could be entirely mistaken

[15:38] x.: it appears to me that this chat is supposed to be about a guy named "robert"

[15:39] x.: this seems tenuously, at best, connected to that

[15:39] 𒀭 💮: and yet Jay's statement

>My instinct is to be like, "I believe you will talk to everyone and then conclude that basically no action needs to be taken, so in that case allowing you to do an investigation gives an air of legitimacy to dismissing Jay". Is "REACH is basically CFAR's pet" correct?

[15:40] 𒀭 💮: and my statements are relevant

[15:40] silver-and-ivory: I feel like in the absence of Jay's presence people should do what they think is best

[15:40] 𒀭 💮: i think even in the presence of Jay, people should do what they think is best

[15:40] silver-and-ivory: also true

[15:40] x.: as far as i can tell, jay already said they were not interested in pursuing an inquest by the hand of the BREACH

[15:41] x.: and refused to engage in such a thing

[15:43] x.: so it's like, "is this person, whose involvement was specifically not requested, a dick?"

[15:43] 𒀭 💮: as far as i can tell this is optimization for silence. because this touches on important things, instead of having a paternalistic additude towards Jay. my read on their CEV after skimming their blog is that they are anti-suppression.

[15:44] 𒀭 💮: also, by like some sort of property rights, this is like 50% my channel.

[15:44] 𒀭 💮: as i was sexually assaulted by robert lecnik.

[15:45] 𒀭 💮: you are interfering with my space as a victim. which is a seperate thing.

[15:45] 𒀭 💮: this is "Robert Lecnik Abuse Chat"

[15:45] x.: so you would prefer to have lintamande investigate this in some way, then?

[15:45] 𒀭 💮: my report is the second item in #concrete-reports

[15:46] 𒀭 💮: i dont want linta to investigate anything besides their complicity with a cissexist system.

[15:46] 𒀭 💮: moriwen made helicopter jokes

[15:46] 𒀭 💮: after they ran out the trans people

[15:46] 𒀭 💮: from EAC

[15:46] 𒀭 💮: and is friends with linta: okay, i guess i am too confused to participate any further then

[15:46] 𒀭 💮: linta framed that as "blowing off steam"

[15:47] 𒀭 💮: i do not feel safe around either of these humans.

[15:52] 𒀭 💮: like not exactly blowing off steam but they said like it was good people were having fun when mori was doing their antitransfem thing.

these things become more obvious with processing.

i think robert, given their pattern so far of predation, possibly exploited environmental cissexism, was enabled by this. erasing knowledge of it leads to inability to coordinate against it leads to cis people treating transfem humans as if they exist in morality holes.

[15:54] 𒀭 💮: like i was around robert lecnik after Jay talked with anna about him i think. if anna listened to Jay and took them seriously, if robert lecnik were banned from cfar spaces and the berkeley meetup, i dont think i would have been sexually assualted.

[15:57] 𒀭 💮: erasing knowledge of cissexism because the people perpetrate it "use preferred pronouns" or whatever leads to inability of transfems to coordinate against it.

[16:04] 𒀭 💮: Jay wrote:

>On Anna Salamon: I remember her seeing me as a transwoman who exclusively liked men; Blanchard has a whole “theory” about this. And apparently that made me a “real” transwoman (wtf), unlike the rest of the transwomen in LW. I feel she explicitly went out of her way to validate me as a woman a number of times, like, there was one time she was saying hi to me and did the human version of this: (http://www.thebalancedcanine.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/10/IMG_1166.jpg). Which, yeah, she’s a TERF.

>Also, the reason I hated her early on was, there was a time that she, I, Robert Lecnik (my rapist), and Peter (his husband) were in a room for an hour long private therapy thing since Peter was a large CFAR donor. Robert admitted to “sexually assaulting Fluttershy and being ‘bad at consent’ with a whole bunch of other people”, and Anna didn’t see any issue with letting him continue to “run the Berkeley meetups” (an honorary thing, he used it to often-ineffectively hit on people). And I had some betrayal trauma from Anna around this, as well as a later feeling of “wow I got pwned by a guy that low in mana, I’m lame”, too. Fortunately it’s all emotionally processed now.this sort of information is very relevant for coordinating against people like Robert Lecnik

i think if cissexism were deleted, in counterfactual worlds in which transfem people got to be on things like "abuse panels", this sort of predation wouldnt happen. but like responses that reactively goodhart this and say "choose the most complicit-with-the-cistem transfems and place them on the panel to avoid culpability" are useless.

individuals learning game theory, forming class-consciousness, and coordinating with each other might help bring justice to things like Robert Lecnik being allowed by the cistem to continue to prey on trans people, to prey on me. with full knowledge that this was going on.

[16:05] 𒀭 💮: https://sinceriously.fyi/intersex-brains-and-conceptual-warfare/#comment-240

[16:09] 𒀭 💮: i have some hope in anarchistic cooperation between smart humans. i have approximately 0 hope in cissexist abuse panels and people like anna salamon who allow the predation of me and people like me to happen.

[16:37] Jay (System of Edo): sec, need to read through all this.

[16:58] 𒀭 💮: if cissexism were deleted this narrow sort of predation would stop happening but like, there would still be predation there would still be predation on minorities. i care about all sentient life not just transfems. this is not an optimization target but is saying "you who say cissexism does not have a hand in the game, if cissexism were actually deleted the counterfactual world post-deletion would look very different than this one. accepting a status quo where like trans people arent on things like sexual abuse panels and arent employed as CFAR staff is accepting cissexism. and resulting in things like, when they go to these institutions they are ignored"

[17:22] Jay (System of Edo): So. My main thing is to look at what algorithms people are running. Like, REACH sounds like they're not brave enough to do something they believe would make the world a better place at a small personal cost, so why would I care about mitigating circumstances if I already know that that's the algorithm they're running. (edit: this is what "is REACH basically CFAR's pet" pointing to, eg if they are pwned by the same things. rather than pointing to whether the two orgs are ostensibly related).

Similarly, discussion of REACH beyond what was needed for me to figure this out (about six lines of text) is not at all useful to me. But pointing this fact out to silence Somni suggests some sort of preference to defend REACH. So, if that's the algorithm you're running, then I see you as (probably) sorting people/discussion topics based on what you can socially get away with. Sort of like, the word "appropriate" is in the same class as "uppity" "disrespectful" "honorable" etc, and this applies to asking if it's "appropriate to discuss REACH despite Jay's preferences".

I personally do not participate in long conversations about who is "in the right", because I personally find it very easy to figure out what people are trying to do, and find that continuing on chats longer than that is a waste of my time. But, this is also Somni's space as a victim of Robert, so it's okay if she wants to discuss REACH I guess. I've never talked with her, but she (they?) seems to have good takes with respect to when someone is de facto hurting others or running bad algorithms in a way related to that.

[17:49] Jay (System of Edo): (sort of like, when I hear that someone sexually assaulted another person, I don't think, "well I guess it's a small harm relative to the good you can do if you're maximizing your life for utilitarian impact", I rather think, "what the fuck algorithm are they running, I don't think they'd have done that if they were trying to reduce the suffering of all beings, maybe there's something I can get out of this person, but definitely not like, outsourcing thinking/project leadership/etc to them"

[18:50] Lorelei: (also related to the reach panel, I'm transfem and was very eager to volunteer as a member, in part because I wanted my queer social circle to have some representation in the process of Justice, but was turned down.)

[18:51] Lorelei: (just so they can't claim not having a tranfem member is justpure coincidence/lack of volunteers)

[18:58] 𒀭 💮: (linta messaged me to say that moriwen saying the helicopter thing was after they said having fun was good. and i checked this and its true. but like that is not at all central to why i think they are collaborating with cissexism or why i talked with emma for like 15 minutes about how people like linta and mori might be horrible to transfems if we told people about alice monday. (people wouldnt actually be marginally worse to transfems. people dont have prejudiced beliefs like that, their transphobic "beliefs" are a coordination mechanism for harm. white people in the antebellum south could see perfectly well that those who were enslaved were human beings.) noselling commitments to transphobia is a good move in response to "what if outing a trans abuser worsens cissexism?".)

[19:02] silver-and-ivory: oh linta and mori left

[19:02] 𒀭 💮: they were banned

[angelicrebelsworld]

9+

8

Tite Photography

What services do you offer?

5 hours ago

Im Am my Own Attorney Sir!! (PRO SE) THAT WHAT HAPPENS IN CIVIL COURT.. CRIMINAL COURT THEY APPOINT YOU AN ATTORNEY!! DID YOU MISS THE MEMO. NOW YOU WHERE IN COURT WITH ME WHEN THE JUDGE GAVE THE BRIEFING SCHEDULE ORDER WTF WOULD I BE CONTACTING YOU IF YOU DIDNT OWE ME MONEY. BECAUSE YOU DO NOT REPEAT OWN A BUSINESS NAMED (TITEPHOTOGRAPHY) & ive Already FILED MY COMPLAINT AGAINST YOU. I DNT HAVE A LETTER STATING I OWE YOU SHIT. AND I HAVE FOLLOW SHIT. (FYI) BECAUSE THE ORDER IS BASE OF MY RESPONSE TO THE HEARING WE HAD DEC 19, 2020V@ 9:15AM FOR YOUR DAMAGES.. NOW SUMBODY IS GONNA TELL ME HOW THE FUCK I OWE YOU MONEY AND CAUSE YOU DAMAGES ON A BUSINESS YOU BROUGHT NO PROVE TO COURT YOU OWN.. NO TAX DOCUMENTS/ PERMITS/LICENSE. JUST NOW THIS WHAT I SENT YOUR ATTORNEY. NOW IM NOT SURE IF YOU GOT THE MEMO!! OR A CERTIFIED LETTER FROM LAYWER. HOW DID YOU PROVE YOUR CASE?? I HAVE RECEIPTS(CERTIFIED)💪 NOW THIS IS THE SECOND TIME I SPOKE YOU IN A WEEK.. IF YOU DIDNT KNO YOU HAVE BEEN SERVED📷🎯📷 (PERSONAL SERVICE) YOU BE HEARING FROM ME SOON AGAIN. TRUST😘

5 hours ago

5 hours ago

I’ll let you figure it out in court. I have noted this as harassment. If there is anymore that you need to say i advise you to go through the court.

5 hours ago · Sent from Mobile

I already have.. Please call the court OR HAVE YOU ATTORNEY CALL ME PLEASE IVE SENT HIM PLENTY OF EMAILS. PLEASE BECAUSE I WANT A RESPONSE MY MOTION I FILED. AND THE COURT ORDER I FOLLOWED&/FOLLOWING😘

5 hours ago

5 hours ago

Let me help you out. We went to court dec 18 2019.

5 hours ago · Sent from Mobile

My motion ABOVE WAS WHAT WAS SUMMITED ON THE 30TH. HOW CUD YOU GET A JUDGEMENT WITHOUT MY LETTER GETTING A RESPONSE.

5 hours ago

as far as the case goes i have nothing i need to do. But imma tell u again you shooting yourself in the foot by creating pages with my name and constantly harrsssing me. So keep on you not doing nothing but giving me more abs more evidence to show the judge.

5 hours ago · Sent from Mobile

YOU WAS FILED IN OPEN COURT @ THE HEARING FOR DAMAGES. HE HEARD YOUR SIDE. AND GOT MY LETTER AND SENT ME NOTHING. WHICH IS WHY IM CONTACTING YOU. SO WE CAN GET THIS SHIT SETTLED..

*yours

5 hours ago

Oh so u gonna play stupid . I would try to help you understand but you so hell bent on whatever cause u think you got u won’t listen .therefore i can’t help. Can’t talk to a brick wal

5 hours ago · Sent from Mobile

Show him i want you to. Please 🙏 So We Can Get this Settled.. Im not dropping shit. So the Faster you bring it back up in COURT WOULD BE BETTER.. IM NOT WORRIED

THATS IS YOUR BEST BET😘 BECAUSE I HAVE NO ORDER FROM THE JUDGE👌

Im playing stupid.. Im READY 2 DEFEND.. WHERES MY FUCKING JUDGEMENT LETTER THEN. WHERE YOUR PROVE.

5 hours ago

I’m not worried . As far as the judgement letter i can send u a copy . Makes me no difference since you swear you didn’t get but since your suck the investigator why u didn’t pull it off the court website it’s public record

5 hours ago · Sent from Mobile

Thats not how that work. Its get sent to me its a legal document. But im playing stupid😂😂😂

I dnt have 2 go online i went to the court house and seen the file😘

Its called service of process google it

5 hours ago

If you didn’t get that has nothing to do with me . Your a grown woman if you know the judgement was out there you should get in you car and go to the court and find out what happen. Nevertheless a judgement was made against a u i also told u and u still decided to post, contact me and all of that. I advised u to stop but don’t listen . Your choice i will have my lawyer bring another case it’s fine but you will see. If you don’t then i don’t know what to tell u

5 hours ago · Sent from Mobile

5 hours ago

I’m not interested in your legal education that you gain in under a year. Funny that you got so smart legally but you don’t know that all the stuff you doing is considered harassment . What you gonna do when the judge ask u Mrs smith why did you keep contacting me howard? Why did you create pages similiar to his and your not a photographer? I’ll be interested to see what your answer will be.

5 hours ago · Sent from Mobile

Oh but it does have to do with you. Service of process is what you paid a attorney for.. The FUCK THE REASON IM CONTACTING YOU. BECAUSE IVE CONTACTING HIM ALREADY EITHER WAY I NEED THAT LETTER OR WE NEED 2 BE IN A COURTROOM FOR MY MOTION REPLY IF THERE IS ANY CONFUSION CAUSE I NEED A RESPONSE TO MY MOTION. WHICH THE PROBLEM SEEM TO BE YOUR ATTORNEY..

5 hours ago

And you dnt own a photography business i what ive Already SAID IN MY MOTION/LETTER AND IF HE ASK ME IMMA TELL & HIM & YOUTHE SAME SHIT THE FUCK!!!

Without SERVICE OF PROCESS BEING WE ALREADY BEEN TO COURT.. HOW WOULD THAT FALL UNDER HARASSMENT I WOULD CALL LEGAL ABUSE. BECAUSE THATS WHAT IT IS👌

4 hours ago

4 hours ago

You need to look up what all consist of owning a business. Then get back with me . Anyway like i said i can send you the letter since you swear you didn’t get it . If not then go get it from the court. Your choice and u keep hitting this book button. Exactly what I’m talking bout harassment

4 hours ago · Sent from Mobile

4 hours ago

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4 hours ago

I will leave this stream open if you need to contact me this way you will have to answer in court to every thing you contact me about. Not gonna keep blocking you and your 50 pages . Let me know if you need that letter i got you .

4 hours ago · Sent from Mobile

4 hours ago

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I Appreciate you Leaving a Way to contact you FORMALLY I REALLY DO. AND YES I NEED THAT LETTER😘 THANK YOU. BELIEVE OR NOT I DONT GOT NO PROBLEM WIT YOU. LETS JUST GET THIS SHIT TAKING CARE OF!

4 hours ago

4 hours ago

I aint hit or hitting no book button. What are you talking about?

Im talking to you now. What are you talking about? Im not even on your Titephotography page. Im in your inbox typing you

4 hours ago

Ok so if you don’t have no problem with me for real why you creating pages? Trying to befriend my family members and all that ?

4 hours ago · Sent from Mobile

Check your email i have sent it to you

4 hours ago · Sent from Mobile

I need it sent from the judge OR YOUR ATTORNEY to me in order for me to FOLLOW IT. I APPRECIATE THE COPY😘 THANK YOU!! I BE IN TOUCH!! I MESSAGE YOU ON HERE TO FOLLOW UP..

AND WHEN DID YOU GET YOUR LETTER?

4 hours ago

Did you get my Email?

3 hours ago

Terrible u done created that emails you can’t keep up with em

you didn’t answer my question ?

2 hours ago · Sent from Mobile

I can KEEP UP!! ALL YOU HAD TO DO WAS HIT REPLY AND SEND THE PICTURE OF THE LETTER.. I THOUGHT YOU GOT CONFUSED.. SO I ASK YOU NICELY IF YOU COULD IT AGAIN. NOW I TRYING TO NOT TALK CRAZY TO YOU.. AND GET THIS HANDLE I DNT NEED YOUR SMART ASS COMMENTS TALKING BOUT I CANT KEEP UP WIT MY SHIT..

2 hours ago

Wel u choosing when to talk you blocked me until u needed the paper but you still avoiding my question i asked

2 hours ago · Sent from Mobile

Im choosing when to TALK?! we Are & Was In A Legal Dispute.. YOU CANT HAVE IT BOTH WAYS EITHER I BLOCK YOU OR YOUR BLOCKING 50 ACCOUNTS OF MINES WHICH ONE IS IT?

2 hours ago

Ok so u right we are in a legal dispute . So i can have the lawyers battle out. I’m baffled as to the point of all the extra stuff u doing . Still lost on this entire thing . I sent u the order to your email go through and check all of them I’m going to bed . I tied to many times to try and be civilized with you about this but you just keep pressing. The issue of nothing.

2 hours ago · Sent from Mobile

CAN WE HANDLE ONE THING @ A TIME... CAN I GET THE EMAIL YOU SAID YOU SENT? PLEASE!! THE EMAIL WAS 1ST. THING IS WHY I HAVENT ANSWER YOUR QUESTION!!

2 hours ago

No it actually wasn’t i asked u the same question i just first presented as if u had to answer it in court .

And like u said it should come from the judge you can get it from them i sent it to the email i had on file for you. I can’t help you any further since your picking and choosing. What to address and what not to

2 hours ago · Sent from Mobile

Which email is that if its not from one from TherapeuticSoultion@gmail.com because my other accouts are disabled.. If Its not one of the emails accounts i just reply & CC You👌(FYI)

1 hour ago

Not my problem

1 hour ago · Sent from Mobile

The Judgement the only thing we need 2 be ADDRESSING THE FUCK!! DNT U WANT YOU MONEY & YA COURT ORDER FOR HARASSMENT.. I CANT FOLLOW SOMETHING I DIDN'T GET. SO THAT ON YOU GUD NIGHT IM JUST TRYING TO GET THIS SHIT TAKING CARE OF I FIND A WAY. THANKS AWAY😘

1 hour ago

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U told the court u have no income . So what money ? U swore u had no job so what money? Ur know so much law that you should know you shouldn’t do anything to affect your case but you still posting stuff that you went to court bout. Still slandering my name . Amongst other things. So don’t try to play me with u just trying to get it all handled if that was the case you would go to the court house and find the judgement

1 hour ago · Sent from Mobile

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1 hour ago

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1 hour ago · Seen 4:10 AM

[applecherry108]

I wonder if there’s some sort of correlation between like, tumblr’s white supremacist problem and it’s hyper morality problem. By which I mean, apparently, debating is a tactic used by the alt right to skew opinion to their side. Because they don’t care about facts or the truth, so debating them won’t change *their* minds, but it might like, seed enough doubt or curiosity or whatever into someone else’s mind? I’m not exactly sure how it’s supposed to work, but I know I’ve seen posts and analyses detailing this phenomenon.

Anyways, I can’t shake the feeling that this is also the same reason why tumblr’s black and white thinking has only become more stark in recent years. I think of this because I saw something on my dash about user pizza. Yes, pizza. For those too young to remember, she was a mega popular blog back in like, 2012. She also, at some point, had a tag specifically for posts that used the n-word. And she got called out for it. She has made the stupid tag (not as trigger warning, but like, bc she thought it was funny?), long before she got popular. I think she was still pretty young when she did it, like, 13 or something. Anyway, people dug it up and got mad, and she apologized, deleted the stupid posts, and that was that. Because it was a dumb mistake from when she was a kid, and she had grown and learned, end of story. But on the same note, around the same time (2012-ish), there was a popular artist named Zamii. And while I was never particularly fond of zamii’s style, I saw the drama surrounding her. I remember a huge curfuffle about her saying trans women weren’t women, but when I read the post, it was clear that she was just a cis kid who didn’t 100% understand all the terminology. Basically, she had insinuated that female and trans female were two different genders while trying to answer an ask regarding pansexuality (or bi, or something). It was obvious that the negative insinuation was accidental. It was obvious to me, still an adult at the time, that it was an honest mistake and that she was just a little confused about the (then quite new) terminology.

And she was run off the website. She had deleted the post and apologized, she made ANOTHER apology, and she was still sent death threats and I remember seeing whole campaigns about why she’s so awful (all of which I knew to be things she had since corrected in her behavior and, surprise, apologized for). I remember not seeing anything from zamii for months and months, and then I remember going to her page and find a video of this CHILD in tears, calling herself trash, that she knows she’s awful and she sorry and, ??? She made a MISTAKE. She made a mistake, apologized, and learned from it, but the death threats persisted and she made this heart wrenching video from the HOSPITAL bc she had tried to KILL HERSELF.

And I guess the point I’m getting at here is, this was an extreme case in 2012, but now in 2019 this sentiment is so fucking casual?? In 2012 it was hotly debated whether or not people deserve second chances, whether “they didn’t know any better” was a good excuse. Whether “this literal child was raised in a certain environment and don’t realize what these words mean” was of importance. It was DEABTED, and now I don’t even see the debates. I just see people, and especially kids 18 and younger, casually shrugging like, “well it still happened so they’re still shit” regardless of circumstance, of knowledge or understanding. And that’s?? Super fucked up??? It used to be deabted whether or not people could learn from their mistakes, now it’s not even a debate, it’s just accepted that everyis black and white and everyone of every age should always knows the immutable Right from Wrong. And it strikes me that maybe tumblr has fallen into this morality trap in the same way that the alt right has gained power: by debating and debating these things that should be common sense, like that people of any age can make mistakes, or whatever it is that the alt right fuckign disagrees with, that by hearing the extreme opposition given so much publicity, it’s shifted the general understanding of these things farther and farther into the opposition’s favor. The horrid slow slide of “well maybe they have a point about SOME things...”

People can fuck up. It could be an issue of age, or circumstance, or region—but anyone can make a mistake. The important thing is to look at HOW they respond to that mistake being pointed out, and no, they don’t have to be independently cognizant of their mistake in order for it to be forgiven. Pewdiepienisnq great example. If the first time he said something offensive and got called out, and his response was to be “oh shot really? Sorry, I won’t do it again.” And then he DIDNT, that would be forgivable. Even if we had to do a whole rinse and repeat for every terrible slur he used, if every time it went “you said this and it has not been pointed out to you before, but it is offensive (and here’s why)”, and every time he’d apologize and correct his behavior, then that’d be great! That’s society babey! Humans have an ever evolving language and relationship to certain words and none of us can be expect to know everything all the time, so the only important thing is to APOLOGIZE and don’t do it again. This applies to literally anything (except no brainless like....assault. And murder. Those sorta things).

Because here’s the biggest problem: what’s cool, or fashionable, or trendy one day may shift and be horribly offensive the next. Offensive in your face humor used to be funny, especially to the younger crowd, not 10 years ago. Now it’s shifted to being distasteful, and that’s okay. 30 years ago transvestite was an appropriate term to describe a transgendered person, and now it’s an offensive term. Culture and words evolve. Words can have extremely personal meaning. Like how some people are perfectly fine using queer but it deeply offends others. There’s nuance on everything, nothing is black and white, the world is shades of grey and it’s unfair to judge and jury people on such strict terms. As another example, there’s a world of difference between a black person using the n-word and a white person using it, even if they’re both said in anger and meant to cause offensive. Because there’s different circumstances surrounding these two nearly identical instances. So by the same token, it’s cruelly unfair to judge a child making a mistake to say, an adult who’s made a career off the same thing.

And at some point, it’s like tumblr culture just threw circumstance and nuance put the window, and I can’t help but notice the simalities of why that may have happened an how, to other problems current tumblr faces...

[joshspankindun]

also omfg guys. yesterday. was so frustrating. click below the cut if you wanna see my rant 

so in my assessments class we have to do this online adaptive quizzes that aren’t really adaptive. like, they’re supposed to “adapt” to you and give you harder or easier questions based on your skill level but the way it does this is literally shows you how far you’ve progressed in the first “mastery level” of difficulty till you reach the top level, mastery level 3, which is what you have to reach in my class to pass the quiz. it’s pass/fail and it’s like basically impossible to fail as long as you put in a little time to get to mastery level 3. 

i had accidentally forgotten to take my GI/abdomen quiz and since it’s online it closes off at midnight on the due date, so i went and talked to my professor and apologized and everything and he opened it up for me under “repeat: GI/abdomen”. makes sense, right? so i did the quiz in 36 questions to reach mastery level 3 and got 33/36 points. that would be, in most universes and galaxies, considered a passing grade, RIGHT?? 

well that was three weeks ago. and yesterday he put the grade in for it and it said FAIL. and in this class if you fail once it’s fine but if you fail a second time, YOU FAIL THE ENTIRE COURSE and this course is ABSOLUTELY MANDATORY for advancing in the nursing program. so like...failing once isn’t REALLY fine because then you can NEVER, EVER do it again. and i was mad because i KNEW i hadn’t failed because i remembered doing the repeat and obviously reaching mastery level 3. so i logged into the website and sent my professor a screenshot basically being like “hey, why’d you put in a fail for this, here’s proof that i clearly passed” and he was like “sometimes you can reach mastery level 3 but not the full competency level. the adaptive quizzing can tell if you don’t know the content very well” and i was like lmaooo that’s definitely not how it works but GO THE FUCK OFF OKAY so i logged back into the website and sent him a screenshot showing him i’d only missed 3/36 questions and i was like i feel like this shows that i knew the content pretty well. and he was like i see but it still says you failed.

IT LITERALLY DID NOT SAY I FAILED BUT GO OFF. also let me note that i tRIED to go to his office to solve this in-person rather than over email but he wasn’t there even though his schedule SAID he should be in his office. 

so he tells me to CALL THE ADAPTIVE QUIZZING TECH SUPPORT LINE. i’m like...honey..you want me to...call...a tech support line...and give up...hours of my life...to someone...who isn’t going to understand this situation because they’re gonna be like yeah obviously you passed...OKAY

so i stop my workout to call this goddamn tech support line and of course i have to press 1, 2, 3 to get to x, y, z multiple times till i’m finally connected to a living, breathing human. and the connection is bad so we can barely hear each other of course. so i’m explaining my situation to her and she asks for my username and i was like i know the email associated is that fine so she says yeah and then uses my email to get my username and tells me THIS IS YOUR USERNAME NOW YOU KNOW IT THIS IS HOW YOU FIND IT ETC

honey i don’t....i don’t need it...i can log in with my email...anyways that wasn’t my question...in the first place

so after LITERALLY 45 MINUTES ON THIS PHONE, she’s like “well it shows you failed because you didn’t do the original one by the due date” and i was like “yes, i know i didn’t do that one but that’s why there’s a repeat one. i’m being graded based off the repeat, so did i pass the repeat one?” and let me tell you i’m a customer service worker so i’m always INSANELY nice and sweet to customer service workers like the woman i was on the phone with, but this bitch starts lecturing me about how “you need to do your homework on time; you failed because you didn’t do it on time. you really need to make sure it’s done on time” so i finally snapped and i was like “the reason i didn’t complete the original one on time is between me and my professor and is not what i called to ask you about. i am asking you if i passed” and she’s like “well you didn’t do it by the due da-” and i’m like “I AM ASKING IF BASED ON POINTS, oN A GRADE, iN A WORLD WHERE DUE DATES DO NOT EXIST, DID I PASS” and she’s like “well yeah you got 33/36″ and i’m like THANK YOU so we finish the phone call and i march my ass back to my professor’s office and he’s miraculously there

and so i knock and im like MHM I JUST CALLED JARVIS THEY SAID I PASSED and he’s like “well it says here you failed” and he shows me a piece of paper with the original quiz score which i had forgotten to do and not the repeat and i was like “is that the repeat or the original quiz” and let me tell you the color drained out of that man’s face and he was like “oh no..you did do a repeat didn’t you...oh my god...i am so sorry...of course you passed” and he apologized like 85 more times even though i was immediately like no it’s totally fine i just knew i passed lollololol so yeAH MY PROFESSOR JUST DIDNT LOOK AT THE RIGHT FUCKING THING AND AS A RESULT I SPENT MY AFTERNOON ON A TECH SUPPORT LINE ON HOLD PANICKING THAT I WAS GONNA FAIL OUT OF NURSING SCHOOL

so how was your wednesday

[thewritingstar]

98 that’s a lot of questions I wonder if you could answer them all 🤔🙃

*Deep sigh and putting my hands together* BOI IF YOU DON’T THINK I CAN ANSWER ALL THESE BITCHES!! YOU COME INTO MY ASK BOX AND TELL ME “i WONDER” HOE DON’T WONDER ANYMORE. 

don’t come for me like this anon.....here ya go. 

smh

i answered all of these and it took forever so yall better read this shit

enjoy bitch

--

1. coffee mugs, teacups, wine glasses, water bottles, or soda cans?

-Mugs

2. chocolate bars or lollipops?

-both im a sugar addict

3. bubblegum or cotton candy?

-bubblegum

4. how did your elementary school teachers describe you?

-prob either really quiet or really loud

5. do you prefer to drink soda from soda cans, soda bottles, plastic cups or glass cups?

-I hate soda

6. pastel, boho, tomboy, preppy, goth, grunge, formal or sportswear?

-I really like pastel and goth styles

7. earbuds or headphones?

-earbuds

8. movies or tv shows?

-Both

9. favorite smell in the summer?

-Vanilla

10. game you were best at in p.e.?

-Flag Football (stealing the flags) and badminton

11. what you have for breakfast on an average day?

-dont really eat in the mornings but prob granola bar or left overs

12. name of your favorite playlist?

-Shower lol

13. lanyard or key ring?

-lanyard

14. favorite non-chocolate candy?

-Sour gummi worms..that shit is CRACK

15. favorite book you read as a school assignment?

-Great Gatsby

16. most comfortable position to sit in?

-apple sauce or on one leg

17. most frequently worn pair of shoes?

-all black converse

18. ideal weather?

-warm and sunny

19. sleeping position?

-stomach, side, in a ball

20. preferred place to write (i.e., in a note book, on your laptop, sketchpad, post-it notes, etc.)?

-Laptop or phone

21. obsession from childhood?

-My little pony, littlest pet shop, Disney, elephants, Chinese food

22. role model?

-Tara Strong, Walt Disney, Francis Dominic 

23. strange habits?

-tugging my hair, biting my nails, wiggling on my heels like a penguin and going up stairs on all fours (when im home)

24. favorite crystal?

-answered

25. first song you remember hearing?

-American idiot- Green Day

26. favorite activity to do in warm weather?

-Eat 

27. favorite activity to do in cold weather?

-Eat

28. five songs to describe you?

-idk Cartoon theme songs lol

29. best way to bond with you?

-make me laugh or talk about disney

30. places that you find sacred?

-Flower gardens

31. what outfit do you wear to kick ass and take names?

-anything with my high heel boots

32. top five favorite vines?

-Road Work Ahead, Oh my god he on X Game mode, What the Fuck Richard, This house is fucking nightmare!, Happy one year babe! Im 27. 

33. most used phrase in your phone?

-YEET, Yall and bitch

34. advertisements you have stuck in your head?

-Stanley Steamer, The First5California.com song 

35. average time you fall asleep?

-now its 12 am -1 am... use to be like 10pm

36. what is the first meme you remember ever seeing?

-oh god that was so long ago i dont even know but it was one of the first ones like pepe or some some

37. suitcase or duffel bag?

-suitcase

38. lemonade or tea?

-raspberry ice tea

39. lemon cake or lemon meringue pie?

-dont like lemon in my desserts 

40. weirdest thing to ever happen at your school?

-A condom was thrown on my desk in french class (it was unopened thank god)

41. last person you texted?

-my mom

42. jacket pockets or pants pockets?

-Jacket pockets

43. hoodie, leather jacket, cardigan, jean jacket or bomber jacket?

-HOODIE

44. favorite scent for soap?

-Vanilla or tropical

45. which genre: sci-fi, fantasy or superhero?

-Superhero

46. most comfortable outfit to sleep in?

-Big shirt and no shorts (underwear obvi)

47. favorite type of cheese?

-I fucking hate cheese

48. if you were a fruit, what kind would you be?

-Strawberry or Lemon

49. what saying or quote do you live by?

-Its always fun to do the impossible- Walt Disney

50. what made you laugh the hardest you ever have?

-For my birthday my friend got my a “Sorry for your loss” card and i cried for 30 mins

51. current stresses?

-um everything..college and being the only snacc in my household

52. favorite font?

-comic sans

53. what is the current state of your hands?

-Still have both of them

54. what did you learn from your first job?

-That people are assholes 

55. favorite fairy tale?

-Disneys Rapunzel 

56. favorite tradition?

- My grandma got all the grandkids pjs on Christmas eve every year and we would wear them to sleep 

57. the three biggest struggles you’ve overcome?

-Anxiety, Depression (sorta), Dropping my churro on the ground at Disneyland

58. four talents you’re proud of having?

-Quick Wit, Art abilities?, Standing on my head and making weird ass noises

59. if you were a video game character, what would your catchphrase be?

-Already answered

60. if you were a character in an anime, what kind of anime would you want it to be?

-A really cool and cute magical one!!

61. favorite line you heard from a book/movie/tv show/etc.?

-From Once Upon A Time, honestly they ave the best quotes. “So when I win your heart, Emma- and i will win it-it will not be because of any trickery, but because you want me”- Killian orrrrrrr He smells like forest”- Regina

62. seven characters you relate to?

-Juvia (FairyTail), Star (SVTFOE), Mabel (Gravity Falls), Maybec (Kingdom Keepers, sassy and artistic), Bubbles and Blossom (PPG) and Belle (beauty and the beast)

63. five songs that would play in your club?

-Boyfriend: BTR, Dancings not a crime: Panic!, Bang bang: Jessie, Ari and Nicki, Read you, wrote you: Drag race lol and Busted from Phineas and Ferb because I can

64. favorite website from your childhood?

-Webkinz, PetPetPark (STILL SALTY ABOUT IT) Club Penguin, Build a bear, Poptropica, i played every game yall

65. any permanent scars?

-only emotionally 

66. favorite flower(s)?

-Roses and water lilies..and every flower cause they pretty.. oh Dahlias too

67. good luck charms?

-petting my dogs. 

68. worst flavor of any food or drink you’ve ever tried?

-Mango anything or Cherry. I hate cherry flavoring. 

69. a fun fact that you don’t know how you learned?

-I have a great memory so i usually remember how i learned it, but.. Did you know that the water on the Jungle Cruise in Disneyland is 3 feet deep and dyed brown? Plus the water in all the parks is a special mix that doesn't contain chlorine because alot of people are allergic so its safe to touch? (learn from a disney doc)

70. left or right handed?

-right

71. least favorite pattern?

-those ugly ones on leggings.

72. worst subject?

-Math or english (haha and i like to write)

73. favorite weird flavor combo?

-Grapes and teriyaki sauce. if they on the plate. ill just dip them in. I have an addiction to teriyaki sauce. 

74. at what pain level out of ten (1 through 10) do you have to be at before you take an advil or ibuprofen?

-I dont take any unless I have my period and my cramps are usually at a 10 so i try and take it when they at a 5

75. when did you lose your first tooth?

-when i was young 

76. what’s your favorite potato food (i.e. tater tots, baked potatoes, fries, chips, etc.)?

-I LOVE potatos: Fries and mash are best plus baked. I HATE chips thou

77. best plant to grow on a windowsill?

-Any bright flower or ivy

78. coffee from a gas station or sushi from a grocery store?

-coffee, dont like sushi

79. which looks better, your school id photo or your driver’s license photo?

-AHHHH my license is soooooo bad. I had strips of red in my hair (got it when i was 15-16) and i didnt know they took your pic at your permit test. Its awful. School is def better and my senior photo pops. 

80. earth tones or jewel tones?

-Jewel

81. fireflies or lightning bugs?

-Fireflys (arent they the same?)

82. pc or console?

-Console 

83. writing or drawing?

-Both but im better at writing

84. podcasts or talk radio?

-Podcasts but I dont listen to alot. 

84. barbie or polly pocket?

-I played more with Littlest Pet Shop and My Little Pony lol (i have 400) prob Barbie thou

85. fairy tales or mythology?

-oooooooofffff cant decide

86. cookies or cupcakes?

-oooooff i love both but cupcakes

87. your greatest fear?

-wasting my life away.....or heights...certain bugs

88. your greatest wish?

-to be happy and have all my dreams (life, job, romance,etc) happen. Plus going to every Disney Park in the world.

89. who would you put before everyone else?

-Depends on the situation but sometimes you need to take care of yourself before others. If you arent doing good, how the hell you suppose to take care of others. 

90. luckiest mistake?

-hmmm idk being born

91. boxes or bags?

-depends on what im carrying but prob bags

92. lamps, overhead lights, sunlight or fairy lights?

-I love fairy lights

93. nicknames?

-any mispronunciation of my name, Dean, Big D (yes people call me this), Star, Sassafras and some more that yall dont get to know :) You can give me a nickname if ya want

94. favorite season?

-Spring and Summer

95. favorite app on your phone?

-Tumblr, Snapchat, Tsum Tsum 

96. desktop background?

- Its items from super mario and mario kart

97. how many phone numbers do you have memorized?

- Eight

98. favorite historical era?

-oof im a history buff but I do love Greek and Roman because I love mythology...Maybe even 1800s.

hi if you got to the end of this then I love you and for proof leave me a 🐰

[letters-iwillnevergiveyou]

Bad Bad Day

January 3, 2019 I have had infinite patience with you from day 1. I have always been honest with you and I have always laid everything out for you. I have told you from the beginning how I feel about you and what my expectations are. You haven't really had any surprises or had to second guess my sincerity or my love for you. I have laid it all out. When I met you I was still so vulnerable. The person I trusted and loved more than anything hadn't just left me. He left the fucking planet. Talk about feeling abandoned. You made me feel alive again. You made me believe that I could actually still love and I honestly didn't think I could ever again. I took a big chance with my already fragile heart and soul. I felt something in my gut that I ignored. I chalked it up to nerves over everything I had been through. I am the dumbest psychic ever. I know to never ignore my instincts but I always hope that it's not instinct talking whenever it goes against something I really want. And I wanted you. The first time you really hurt me, like REALLY hurt me, it scared me but I wanted so badly to believe you. I wanted to believe that you really did love me and you couldn't possibly hurt me like that again. That was back when I still felt like me. You hadn't broken me yet. I try really hard to make sense of  everything. I try to think that no one could possibly mean to hurt someone so continuously. I'm not sure what to think at this point. It's way past the point that you could claim ignorance. That's why I can't make sense of anything. I just can not for the life of me imagine seeing and knowing what I'm doing to someone I love and continue to do it. I'm sure you have always gotten away with being a scum bag in your past relationships. If you don't get caught then who gets hurt right? So you have learned how to skate by life with bull shitting everyone. And I mean EVERYONE. No one knows the real you but me. I am very convinced of this. People see what you want them to. And it's all based on stories. Some are true or at least based on the truth. But like I told you the other day, you lead a few different lives. That's maybe always worked out for you in the past, but you weren't with me. I need real. Whenever I come to grips with being deceived and my heart is treated like it's a piece of trash, I refuse to sit idley by and let that person get away with that before exposing that person for who they really are. Now THAT J6@5n, is karma. I don't have to fuck someone up or make someone pay. No, I simply allow the person to bury themselves through their own actions and choices. Eventually everyones shit catches up to them. I'm still paying for my own shit because god knows I am far from perfect. I have no problems admitting my faults. I don't expect perfection either by any means. I do expect honesty, faithfulness and a general care for my soul that I am so willing to bare for others. Souls are valuable and also easily manipulated and destroyed especially by love. Love leaves us more vulnerable than anything else can. I love hard, with everything I am. I do this because once someone has my love I'm devoted. I don't give my love, and by extension my soul, up for just anyone. I made a conscious choice to love you and allow myself to be vulnerable to you. It's the ultimate act of trust you can give another soul. I gave that to you. It was the ultimate gift. Unfortunately when someone like me gives something so valuable it makes me vulnerable to being utterly destroyed. I hold nothing back. Like I said, ultimate trust. So naturally when I am met with dishonesty, unfaithfulness and such a willingness to manipulate my heart to satiate your own selfish desires, it breaks me down. With every lie, cheat, steal and all around abuse of my gift to you I lose a bit more of what makes me who I am. Everything that I hold onto and believe in becomes a joke. Like it means nothing to give of yourself to someone so completely and trusting they will not abuse what they have been given. You are a man of many many words but with no action backing up those words. You tell people not necessarily what they want to hear always but what you need them to hear in order to get past that situation and move you into the next situation. It's a survival mechanism. It's not really that you are this horrific person. You aren't. Unfortunately you have made making horrific choices involving others a big part of your life and survival. One thing in particular that got to me was when you got so angry when I expected you to stop the dating websites and everything that entailed. You truly believe there is nothing wrong with it and no one is getting hurt. It's that mentality that if you don't get caught, there is nothing wrong with it. The reality however is that if you don't get caught, YOU don't get hurt. You don't know what your deceit does to others because you don't look at it that way. Women who think they have met this great guy and that he is interested in them end up with serious issues when men like you play with their emotions. If you never meet them or you stop talking to them they wonder what's wrong with them. It's cruel. You have made them victims for your own mental and sexual satisfaction. That's horrible. I feel incredibly victimized. I was vulnerable and lonely and you swept in giving me the same lines you tell all of those other women. You just have stuck around to give it to me for a longer length of time. I really can't figure out why you stay. I've studied a lot and I know you can't completely get inside of the human psyche through books, but it's the closest thing. Not all but a large part of us is simply the effects of various chemical reactions in the brain. So why do you stay? Do you even know? Is it because of me being the way I am you feel safe I will stick around? That I won't leave you? And why do you want me to go to Belize with you? I have such a hard time wrapping my brain around loving me enough to spend your life with me yet being able to do such horrible things to me. I don't understand loving someone so much and watch them waste away in front of you due to pain you are causing. Then continuing to do it. How can you look at me and see me hurting, sad, depressed, lonely and needing you and then walk out the door and say the things you should be saying to me but to other women? Or run off and help someone else knowing how badly I need you? What kind of love is that? It hurts really bad. I have reached a point where I am in danger of being completely destroyed. I feel like myself less and less. I don't hardly resemble myself anymore. How are you ok with that? And the saddest part is that I just wish you would love me. Like really love me. Enough to where you could put my needs ahead of your own. Ever. I have seen you put your needs ahead of mine with me being suicidal. Why would I feel love from you in any capacity? The talking to other women thing is not ok with me. Not the way you do it. I had a talk with a girl this morning you have been talking to and it made me sick. She told me about someone you are supposedly seeing and possibly sleeping with. The thing she said that didnt make sense though was that you came across to her as available yet this other girl knows about me. Well lol if she knew the other girl knows about me then she couldn't claim ignorance either. So I guess she was covering her own ass. I know you could have called me last night. You called other people before and while I was out looking for you. You didnt even open my text measages. That says a lot about how much you value me. I was upset and had a right to be and whenever that happens you gaslight me and treat me like I'm nuts for being upset. While you are the one being unfaithful. And yes, putting other women ahead of me and my feelings or needs is unfaithful. I hope this is all worth it to you. Becausem I have a foot out the door already and I'm insane I'm still here at all. As of right now its going to take huge effort to get me to stay with you let alone go to Belize with you. I don't give up my life for someone showing how little he values my life and my time. Also the having multiple phones thing is stopping. If you aren't cheating you dont need cheater phones. I am absolutely insane for putting up with this. I am focusing so much attention on what's wrong with you, but what the hell is wrong with me?? What happened to my self respect? I hate that I love you.

[lifeofalaurie]

my uwc story

i remember reading through uwc blogs when i had just found out about uwc and when i was applying and going through all those months of WAITING for the next step...and they were so helpful. im so glad these exist

i first found out uwc through my brother’s friend, who actually went to UWC atlantic college (where im headed!!!!) a few years back. it was one ordinary saturday afternoon (idk if it was actually saturday but that sounds right) and we were carpooling with said friend (usually i dont participate in these but i happened to be in the car that day) and we were talking about next year and whatever and she just kinda said that she wasn’t going to be back next year bc she was going to this ‘abroad’ program. i didnt even really think about it that much. i in fact forgot about it after that...apparently my dad did not.

so my dad would talk about it here and there but i was NOT INTERESTED for that whole year..then...i started researching a bit myself and thought oh this sounds kind of cool. i still didn't really get what UWC even was or if was even a legit thing. it just sounded like another boarding school (a huge NO for me). then i saw that there was a such thing as a “short program” (or maybe someone actually told me about it) and i decided to apply for the one at the USA campus in New Mexico. i remember writing the essays over winter break and thinking they were pretty terrible (there was also a skype interview involved and that was rough) so i was pretty shocked when i found out i had gotten in but it worked out well bc my fam was going to arizona anyway a week before that so i just flew to new mexico myself after that (i say that casually but we had to cancel tickets and get new ones so that i could go to new mexico instead of home PLUS i had to fly for myself for the first time and i was pretty confused). (also, the program is called global leadership forum or GLF)

after hermit’s peak hike (ALL UPHILL FOR A SOLID 4-5 HOURS) i think it was like 8 miles IDK. view was so nice though 10/10

GLF turned out to be an amazing experience and really solidified my trust in UWC and confirmed to me that it was indeed a real thing. i really loved how much we did in those 2 and half weeks or so - camping, hiking, interacting w wolves, having important discussions - and it really pushed me to decide to apply to UWC for real. maybe ill talk more about it in another post!!!!

ok so coming home i did even more research and really really started liking UWC and decided that i might as well try to apply. i knew they never had a certain ‘criteria’ for students but i also knew it was a long and stressful process and involved really digging deep so i really didn’t think much of it (didn’t think i really had a chance) after submitting my written application. and then began the long waiting game...

here’s a nice picture of the sky @ a wolf reservation! just wanted to add a nice pic 

i never joined any of those fb groups or college confidential things for applicants and good thing bc looking at some of them now stress me out so i wouldve probably been even more stressed if i had been involved in that. also i didnt even know they existed until later so thats also probably why.

anyway i had totally forgotten about UWC (more like i was sure they’d forgotten about me or there had been something wrong like my application wasn’t submitted or something) bc i didnt hear back until the end of november (i submitted the application early october). but finding out i was a semifinalist was kind of traumatic bc in my GLF snapchat group one of my friends (who’s going to Pearson this year!!!) said he’d moved on to the next stage and i hadn’t GOTTEN ANY EMAIL. i think i just accepted it that that was the end. but then a few hours passed when i finally decided to check a different email and, alas, there it was. so a few days later, i got an email from my interviewer when we should do our skype interview and it turned out to be the same day i was taking the ACT. good

the interview turned out to be completely ok and actually really great (enjoyable even!!?). if youre at that stage, seriously the best advice i have is to just chill and be honest when youre answering. also, make it more like a conversation rather than the interviewers (yes there are prob going to be more than 1 but i assure u its ok) asking u questions back and forth. think of it as a conversation- that helped me so much to relax. the interviewers just wants to talk to you and find out what kind of person you are and if youre the same one that wrote all those deep meaningful essays from the written application - so if you were honest from the start youll be completely fine...if not, well..sry

after that, school and extracurriculars and life really went up for me and i just forgot about UWC again. i never really told any of my friends about it or anyone except for my parents. i kind of wanted it to be a personal thing- get in or not in the end.

after a really good last day of school before winter break, i went to the town library (lol) and checked my phone and therE IT WAS. I WAS A FINALIST WHICH MEANT I WOULD BE GOING TO THE UWC USA CAMPUS FOR FINALIST WEEKEND. did not know what to expect

waiting for finalist weekend felt looooong

but it came

i flew there myself AND IT WASNT EVEN DIRECT and i remember feeling so independent and proud for making it. it turned out i was one of the later ones and in the last group to be bussed over (but i met a friend on the bus who i still talk to here and there who is going to RBC this yr!!). we were so late we missed the initial meeting and first night of activities and just went straight to the hotel. at the hotel i saw my interviewer and she gave me a hug (<3) and that helped calm me down and it was also really nice to see her in person bc i remember really liking her during our skype interview. then finalist weekend happened. and im pretty sure im not supposed to expose the process so all i can say was that it was actually so genuinely fun and a real good time 

UWC USA <3 

at the end we all exchanged social media and fb and all that and started a messenger group chat -- as nice as it was to be able to connect to everyone, i think it really stressed everyone out. they told us that results would come out early that week (FALSE). THAT WEEK AFTER FINALIST WEEKEND WAS THE MOST STRESSFUL THING EVER. IT TOOK YEARS FOR IT TO GO BY. i remember constantly checking my email between classes and everyone in the group chat wondering if anyone had heard. then on wed night, we all got an email that said the results would be notified by friday instead. the worst

i remember that friday evening i was packing for my first hackathon (it was fun) and thinking the call wouldnt come until later that night. people were freaking out all over the group chat. then, as i was scrambling packing my sweatpants into my bag, the home phone started ringing and i ran..RAN TO THE PHONE. it said my interviewer’s name on the caller ID and i was like OK THIS I S REAL. and i picked it up and it turned out i was too late so i frantically called back probably 10 times on multiple different phones (my efforts did not work). but then, i got a call to the home phone again and it was her so i picked up RIGHT AWAY and when she told me... i kid you not that i screamed and ran around my house a few times. so thats it. it was kind of a really long and sstressful process for sure, but SOO WORTH IT. i definitely learned a lot just from that process bc it makes you think and reflect a lot all throughout. weeee

if youre even thinking about applying please GO FOR IT (well as long as ur in the right age limit, 16-18.... and also make sure you’ve done some research to get a feel for it).. but just DO IT. and u can ask me questions if u want and ill answer to the best of my personal ability (but remember that im just one person and one experience and each person’s experience is completely different)

here is the general website btw:

https://www.uwc.org/

i will probably do another post to explain UWC - at least in my own words and perspective!

<3 <3 <3

[batslime]

taggt ( by @wesminator )

Last:

Drink- im schlurpin mtn dew rn

Phone call- my mom to make sure she knew we needed cat food

Text- showing this awful thing to @succubus

Song- ddu-du ddu-du by black pink ( that doesnt even sound the way its spelled and i had to look at it again bc of that )

Time you cried- i dont remember probably while i was watching a movie or smt

Ever:

Been depressed- b o y

Gotten drunk and thrown up- i dont go to parties because i live in the middle of nowhere and ive never been drunk i dont like alcohol enough to get to that point

In the last year have you:

Made new friends- ya

Fallen outta love- YA

Laughed until you cried- no

Found out someone was talking about you- just today my manager told me one of the part time mans texts him to say ive been “acting up” ( i said something to her she didnt get so i told her not to try so hard bc i could smell the smoke coming from her ears ) and he straight up tells her shes stupid fgvhjb

Met someone who changed you- for the worse yes lmao

Found out who your friends are- I’ve found out who my friends aren’t!

Kissed someone on your Facebook friends list- Maybe???? ive remade it so many times/ never go on i dont remember if i have any exes besides @succubus

General:

Fave color- im always a slut for pink but i also love rich greens and lavender

How many Facebook friends do you know IRL - why is a tumblr meme probably aged at like teenage-twenty year olds even asking about facebook

Any pets - rn i have three cats

Do you wanna change your name - legally ya

What did you do for your last birthday - I dont remember i was probably still at home jobless and sad

What were you doing last night at midnight - working on miniatures

What is something you can’t wait for - @succubus is coming over next month, next paycheck, to get the energy to work on all my projects again, genji nendroid

What are you listening to - i just left blackpink playing after i had to look that title up

Have you ever talked to a person named Tom - idk

Something that gets on your nerves - god everything lately im like a time bomb

Most visited website - Tumblr and Youtube

Hair colour - Black/ dark brown

Hair length - i cut it asymmetrically l recently and shaved it back in march on the sides so its. all over the place

Do you have crush on someone - i have a crush on being a better and more productive and happier and richer person

What do you like about yourself - lets not start this lol

Want any piercing - not rn im too depressed to take care of my body on a regular basis

Blood type-  b+

Nicknames- 

Zodiac - capricorn

Pronouns - She/Her or They/Them is fine.

Fave TV show - I dont watch tv occasionally tho ill go into netflix and play whatevers nice to listen to while i work, like forensic files or movies im really familiar with 

Tattoos - i dont rly like the way they look i think n when i do see designs i like i like seeing them on other ppl, im too fickle for them myself. i used to do designs for ppl tho

Right or left handed - Right-handed

Ever had surgery - to have my teeth removed and tbh id be terrified and i think id really rather just die if i ever needed under-anesthetic under-the-knife surgery for multiple reasons 

Sports - no

Vacation - i like vegas, theres lots of countries id love to see but ive never been out of the states. im too poor and scared to do that rn esp alone

More general:

Eating - i love squishy foods but ive been craving crunchy stuff a lot lately too. ive been getting bowls of ice to take to my room while i work

Drinking- i drink like three things and that mtn dew, water w crystal lite, and match fraps

About to watch- i dont watch stuff much i just play whatever i can presently stand hearing while i work

Waiting to-

Get married - god no i literally just wanna live alone i dont wanna have to see people in my house while im trying to force myself to work or walking around naked i dont wanna be responsible for another person

Which is better:

Hugs or kisses - i dont like to be tocuhed

Lips or eyes - 

Shorter or taller -  

Nice arms or stomach -  these are like. really obscure selections 

Troublemaker or hesitant -  

Have you ever:

Kissed a stranger - no

Drunk hard liquor - no

Lost glasses - yeah i just toss em at the end of my bed at night

Turned someone down - um i work retail and look like a teenager i can hardly fucking go in public without some random ugly ass dude thinking he can talk to me lol 

Been arrested - no

Cried when someone died - i dont think so just animals as far as i can recall, i havent lost anyone close.

Fallen for a friend - ya

Do you believe in:

Yourself - Yeh boi!

st sight - for like animals or shows or smt. if youre talking about another person. thats called attraction and calling it love is creepy and unhealthy and an obsolete concept that we need to nip in the ass tbh. i hear a disproportionate amnt of guys to girls say this and its like always someone they meet in public or whatever. im sure if i were desperate and self hating enough to humor any of the losers who try me theyd say it like five years down the line too. you dont know who tf somebody really is til youve known them for years and gone though real shit and seen how they respond. ive always found “love at first sight” creepy 

Kiss on the first date - idk

Angels - maybe

Others:

Best friend’s name - i call her a disgrace and the cause of my death but other ppl call her franky/ alexa 

Eye colour - Brown

Fave movie - 

Fave actors -

franky ive already tagged you like eight times. also im done working for the day. if you wanna be tagged reblog it and tag yourself im not doing anything else for any more people today 

[nerdperson524]

85 questions tag from forever ago

tagged by: @nerdylilbunny i think..im sorry ive lost track of who tagged me in all these

rules: answer these 85 questions and tag 20 people

— What was your last…

1. Drink: milk

2. Phone call: my grandmother

3. Text message: my aunt

4. Song you listened to: “As Long As You’re Mine” from Wicked

5. Time you cried: two nights ago

6. Dated someone twice: nope

7. Kissed someone and regretted it: never had a kiss

8. Been cheated on: nope

9. Lost someone special: a friend from middle school that i think my awkward middle school self scared off. you know who you are.. hmu bro i saw you at orientation

10. Been depressed: hahahahahahaahahhaha literally all of high school

11. Gotten drunk and thrown up: nope

— Fave colours

12. dark purple

13. dark blue

14. black

— in the last year have you…

15. Made new friends: yesss @fangirl-writes-poetry

16. Fallen out of love: yes

17. Laughed until you cried: yes just a few weeks ago actually. hmu if you wanna hear about it

18. Found out someone was talking about you: yes and i really didn’t care because the guy who started it was a douche bag but i wanted to hear the dramaaaaaa

19. Met someone who changed you: yep

20. Found out who your friends are: yes yes yes @MEG @fangirl-writes-poetry

21. Kissed someone on your facebook friends list: back to the “never had a kiss” and i hardly use facebook so

— General

22. How many of your facebook friends do you know irl: well like all of them are family or people I know because stranger danger and all that

23. Do you have any pets:  there is a dog living in my house that i refuse to call my own

24. Do you want to change your name: i wanted it to be Daniella once, but now I might save that for my kid

25. What did you do for your last birthday: went to an escape room.

26. What time did you wake up today: 10:15 ish

27. What were you doing at midnight last night: watching Good Mythical Morning on Youtube

28. What is something you can’t wait for: TO MOVE INTO MY COLLEGE DORM AND OUT OF THIS HELL HOLE IN ONE MONTH AND 10 DAYS

30. What are you listening to right now: the annoying sounds of an 11 year old making dinner and seething about how she blames me for every damn thing when she an effing hypocrite who did the exact same thing and sorry i didnt mean to rant oh wait yes i did

31. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: dont believe i have

32. Something that’s getting on your nerves: “guy in my class. thinks he is better than everyone else and disses me for reading” lol i relate so hard to this last response. Torkelson. Hate You. also the annoying younger sister mentioned above.

33. Most visited website: tumblr, youtube

34. Hair colour: my typical answer is dirty blonde but it has gotten much darker over the past few years so imma go with a few shades darker than dirty blonde

35. Long or short hair: medium long with an undercut

36. Do you have a crush on someone: ummmmmmmmmm

37. What do you like about yourself: nothing--- oh wait they said i cant say that----can i say my eyes?---okay yeah my eyes cuz theyre...gray

38. Want any piercings: i want the piercing but none of the cleaning part of it so no

39. Blood type: idk. i really should know these things

40. Nicknames: Bug, Lou (both reserved for family, fight me), Court (I despise this one because the people I hate most are the ones who use it), Courtney, Nerd, just call me courtney or tag me

41. Relationship status: single

42. Sign: gemini

43. Pronouns: she/her

44. Fave tv show: riverdale, the flash, supergirl (and ive watched everything available for these on netflix so I need some show recs)

45. Tattoos: nope but I want several

46. Right or left handed: right

47: Ever had surgery: wisdom teeth out. tonsils and adenoids out....my mouth must hate me

48. Piercings: yeah just my ears

49. Sport: i like to watch baseball and forget football (american) HOW BOUT THAT HALFTIME SHOW?!?!?!? GO MARCHING BAND!!!

50. Vacation: what was the question

51. Trainers: again, um what was the question

— More general

52. Eating: nothing but im starting to get hungry

53. Drinking: nothing

54. I’m about to watch: idk....netflix

55. Waiting for:  TO MOVE INTO MY COLLEGE DORM AND OUT OF THIS HELL HOLE IN ONE MONTH AND 10 DAYS

56. Want: love and affection from someone more than just family or friends

57. Get married: eventually

58. Career: chemical engineer hopefully

— Which is better

59. Hugs or kisses: hugs until i experience kissing

60. Lips or eyes: eyes

61. Shorter or taller: taller...but average

62. Older or younger: slightly older or same age

63. Nice arms or stomach: igaf because I like a nice personality

64. Hookup or relationships: relationships

65. Troublemaker or hesitant: more hesitant

— Have you ever

66. Kissed a stranger: nope...whats with all the kissing questions...clearly im missing out

67. Drank hard liquor: nope

68.Turned someone down: yep. Torkelson, Rodgers, Edens (kinda regretting that last one..he was Longbottomed)

69. Sex on first date: nope!!

70: Broken someone’s heart: i dont think so.....but maybe I have

71. Had your heart broken: yeah...

72. Been arrested: nope

73. Cried when someone died: uhhhh no because i literally cannot cry in public and i just dont get emotional about things from outside of myself...if that makes any sense

74. Fallen for a friend: no...yes...maybe...@middle school awkwardness

— Do you believe in

75. Yourself: yeah hardly---oh I cant say that either?---no comment

76. Miracles: sometimes

77. Love at first sight: I want to

78. Santa Claus: OF COURSE SANTA IS REAL THERE ARE CHILDREN PRESENT

79. Angels: i want to..kinda

— Misc

80. Eye colour:  blue/gray

81. Best friends name: Olivia, Meghan

82. Favourite movie: dont do this to me

83. Favourite actor: i dont dwell on these things

84. Favourite cartoon: Teen Titans (thats it...no “GO!”), Danny Phantom, all the old good stuff from my childhood

85. Favourite teacher’s name: Antone, Russell, Holt, Shaw, Messinetti, Cancemi, Roach, McGill, Freels

tagging everyone who wants to

[heretic-altias]

Dunya and the Internet - Part 1

Let’s face it - Dunya would not know what the Internet is. Here’s her first introduction to it’s existence. I’ll write part two tomorrow, I already know how I want it to go.

Dunya thought she was getting quite good at being human. Yet one concept she could never quite grasp was the Internet. She’d heard people mention it many times, but she had no clue how to reach it or what it did. So one day when she walked in on Alessa using a laptop she had to ask

“What is this Internet everyone uses?”

Alessa looked up from up the laptop, somewhat surprised by the question. She wasn’t quite sure how to answer, and there was a long pause before she replied. While she was thinking, Dunya sat down next to her to look at the screen, knowing the computer was more than likely on the Internet. The only identifying thing she saw on the screen was a logo labled ‘Amazon’ in the top left.

“The Internet is a thing where you can pretty much do anything on these things called websites” Alessa explained. When Dunya’s eyes lit up, she had to add

“Anything legal” She immediately decided Dunya did not need to hear about the darker parts of the web.

“This site is Amazon, and you can shop on it. It’s like a store but you don’t have to leave your house to buy stuff” Alessa told Dunya. Dunya nodded, she’d been to the store many times. Never alone of course, Alessa had learned long ago not to send Dunya shopping alone. Deciding she didn’t want Dunya to use her laptop, Alessa showed her how to pull it up on her phone and get to Amazon.

“So these communication things can use the Internet too” Dunya mused. She had only gotten the phone the week before, and had yet to call it by it’s proper name. Dunya wandered out of the room, staring at her phone screen. Alessa went back to ordering what she needed, not really concerned. Dunya didn’t have a credit card, so she couldn’t order on Amazon anyway. She should’ve know to pay attention. An hour or so later, while Alessa scrolled aimlessly through Tumblr, Dunya walked into the room looking excited.

“I purchased  things on Amazon!” she triumphantly declared, looking proud of herself.

“Where did you get the money?” Alessa asked surprised, quickly pulling up her bank account in a new tab to make sure it wasn’t her’s.

“I made Sabine give me the Dark Core card, I saw her in the store with it yesterday” Dunya replied.

While she couldn’t help but wonder how much the bill was, Alessa was relieved it wasn’t her money. Dark Core would have a lot more than she did available.

“How do I get my stuff?” Dunya then asked.

“Did you put in this house’s address?” Alessa asked.

“It knew what to put in from the Dark Core card. So is my stuff at Dark Core?” Dunya wondered.

“Not yet, they still have to send it there. But if that’s the address put in, then that’s where you’ll get it” Alessa replied.

“When?” Dunya asked.

“Since you weren’t logged in to a prime account, probably in three to five days” Alessa told her.

Luckily for Dunya, it was on the shorter side of that. She got a call from Mr Sands three days after this discussion saying a bunch of stuff for her was at the oil rig. So Dunya sat in the room she had been given for when she was there, gleefully opening boxes like a child on Christmas. Mr Sands walked in as Dunya pulled out a large kitchen knife. She had two other knives resting next to her, and pieces of something large that she didn’t know how to put together were scattered around her.

“My Lord, did you order all of this on Dark Core’s card?” Mr. Sands asked.

“Yes” Dunya replied, putting the knife aside and picking up a shirt “I even got Darko something, as he seems to like dark colored shirts”. She turned the the shirt around to reveal that on the front in big, white letters it said ‘Farko’. She had mistyped while ordering, and somehow still didnt realize it. Had it been anyone else at the door, they probably would’ve had to hold back a laugh. Mr Sands didn’t really tend to laugh though. He didn’t really care about the stuff she’d ordered, he was here for a different reason. Dunya tossed the shirt to Mr Sands, telling him to give it to Darko.

“Do you know how much you spent on all this stuff?” Mr Sands asked. He knew Dunya, being Garnok, was in charge of him so he had to tread carefully so he wouldn’t anger her. As happy as he was Garnok was here in person, growing more powerful each day, Dunya’s complete lack of worldly understanding concerned him.

“I didn’t keep track, I got it on the Internet” Dunya replied, moving to open another box.

“You know the Internet uses actual money? You’ve spent around a quarter of the Dark Core Coperation’s total savings” Mr Sands told her, preparing himself in case she was bothered by this news. Much to his surprise, she didn’t incinerate him for pointing out her mistake.

“There’s a limit on money?” Dunya asked confused.

“Well yes, we just have a lot of it” Mr Sands replied. While Dunya always used Dark Core’s money, she’d never had access to such large scale shopping before. At a regular store someone was always with her. While Dunya didn’t realize it, a quarter of the entire company’s savings was a lot.

“Well that doesn’t matter, I got all the stuff I wanted from that site anyway” Dunya said with a shrug, putting aside a case of prepackaged guacamole. She hadn’t known what it was ordering it, she just thought it was an interesting word. Mr. Sands left the room, shaking his head when he was in the hall. As long as Dunya wouldn’t spend that much again, he had nothing to worry about.

When Dunya went home that night, she had barely gotten through half of her boxes. She left all but one behind at Dark Core, figuring it was better to just leave them there. This one in particular she wanted to show her girlfriend, so she carried it with her.

“Alessa look what I got!” Dunya called out, putting her box on the table.

Alessa walked in, to find a very proud looking Dunya opening an Amazon box. She pulled out the item carefully, remembering how gentle Alessa always was with her’s.

In her arms Dunya held a brand new laptop. Alessa would later find looking at the specs on the package that it was very low end, but Dunya didn’t know anything about computers so she’d doubted it was high end from the moment Dunya first pulled it out. Dunya was quite proud of herself for getting it, she knew Alessa was fond of computers and had wanted to show it to her.

“How do I used it?” Dunya asked, pulling out the power cord as well.

“We have to set it up” Alessa told her, plugging the cord into the wall. Within twenty minutes or so, the device was up and running. It was late at night, and so once Dunya was set up Alessa went off to bed leaving Dunya to play with the first thing she’d opened, Microsoft Paint.