#if i had to code websites for the rest of my life i think i’d end up dead
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merriclo · 2 years ago
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i’m over the goddamn moon rn i just found out i might be able to get out of taking a third year of coding let’s fucking gooo
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anthonysstupiddailyblog · 1 year ago
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Anthony’s Stupid Daily Blog (471): Sat 1st Jul 2023
Up at half five this morning to catch my train down to Londern Engerland to see Iggy Pop live in concert. There were four lasses in the booth of chairs on the opposite side of the aisle from me and one of them popped open a bottle of champagne that went all over her. Luckily none of it went on me because it would be bad enough having to travel on a train for four hours all wet but champagne is what I was drinking when I blacked out on that cruise ship to Amsterdam 15 years ago and ended up falling out of my bunk bed and getting a black eye. Being drenched in the stuff would mean I’d be getting constant flashbacks for the whole trip. I arrived in London four hours ahead of check in time but luckily I was allowed to leave my bag there so I wasnt dragging it around for the rest of the day. I checked the gigs website said that Iggy wouldn’t be going on until half 8 so I decided I would get the chance to relax and enjoy a walk around London (for the first of three times this year) and wouldn’t need to set off for the gig until about five o’clock. I wanted to buy a new jacket and some new shirts but despite walking from Kings Cross to Leicester Square I didn’t see a single fucking mens clothing store. For the second time in my life a trip to London has happened to coincide with London Pride Day (if I still hung around with my college friends this is the moment they would say “yeah right”). Five years ago I came here to see Richard Herrings podcast recorded and it happened to be the pride festival and new the same thing has happened with the Iggy Pop festival. I walked through the pride festivities to get to Leicester Square and I could sense all the gay people were thinking that I was bringing the mood down with my miserable face but were too polite to ask me to leave. I needed a loss when I got to Leicester Square. The nearest place with a toilet was McDonald’s but I suspected that like in Edinburgh they would require you to buy something and the code to get into the toilet would be printed on your receipt. I went in and paid for an orange juice and once I got my receipt went downstairs to use the toilets only to discover there is no code and any cunt can come in and use it for free. Fucks sake. I was so angry that I took my orange juice and threw it at a trash can outside. However it bounced off the can and splashed all over a drag Queen in the front of a gay pride float and the whole crowd thought I was some sort of anti gay protestor and an angry mob minced after me. Luckily I saw that the Prince Charles Cinema was showing The Wizard of Oz so I ran inside knowing that this was the last place a group of angry homosexuals would expect a homophobe to hide. Needless to say this entire story was completely 100% true. Anywho after a few hours shopping in the sunshine I headed off to catch my train to Crystal Palace. Some fat smelly dude initially sat next to me on the packed train but thankfully he got straight back up and moved a few seats forward. Presumably he must have spotted that someone left a half eaten Mars Bar on one of the seats. I thought that I was going to struggle to get from Crystal Palace station to the park without Google Maps but luckily as soon as I existed the station there was a lass with a sign instructing people where to go to get to the concert. Man I wish the trip to WrestleMania had been this fucking straightforward. The park wasn’t as full as I expected but then again this was five hours in to a nine hour concert in he baking heat so a sizeable amount of people just have fucked off. I missed Generation Sex but that’s no big thing since the only Billy Idol song I like is Super Overdrive and by all accounts they didn’t play it. The next act was Blondie and for 78 Debbie Harry is still really good. She has a naturally charm and charisma and even though her voice is obviously a lot more gruff and less melodic than when she first started she nevertheless still has a great singing voice. I enjoyed hearing Heart of Glass live but they left without playing One Way Or Another which is my favourite song of theirs so I’m guessing g they muse have played it shortly before I arrived but that’s no big deal. One of the food carts was selling veggie noodles and while I expected them to be shit they ware some of the nicest I have ever had. Easily better than any and all of the shit I had while I was in America. It was so good I went back about four times for some more. I wish I’d thought to get this bitches number and asked about employing her to live in my house to cook me noodles every day. For the hour in between Debbie Harry leaving the stage and Iggy arriving I walked around the venue listening to an episode of Eric Bischoff’s podcast in my headphones. Even though I vowed I would resist it at all costs ok realized I was going to have to use the toilet and fuck me what a disgusting sight / smell it was. They basically have dozens of makeshift urinals erected around an area of the field which are essentially walls which shield the sight of you pissing into a giant barrel. Even if you agreed to supply me with free noodles for the remainder of my life I don’t think it would be enough to get me to to accept a job where I would have to empty these fucking urinals. At long last Iggy finally took to the stage and the crowd started dancing along with him. I know Iggy isn’t everyone’s plate of noodles but his ability to entrance and command an audience is undeniable. It was like myself and the rest of the crowd were hypnoses and felt compelled to dance along with him (for someone who hates dancing as much as me getting me to join in was quite an achievement). Over the next hour we were treated to The Passenger and the iconic Lust For Life which were amazing but sadly this will not be what kind remember most from this gig. What I will remember most is some drunk bloke who climbed up on a wall at the top of a hill and began drunkenly dancing until a security guard ushered him back. The drunk man did start to carefully inch himself back along the wall but then, weary of the fact he would probably be thrown out of the gig, jumped from the wall to the grass near the top of the hill but then lost his footing and rolled down the hill like a drunken Boulder from Indiana Jones. Another security guard at the bottom of the hill apprehended him and attempted to thrown him out. However his friends sprinted down the hill and asked the guards to give him another chance and their he was sorry for making a drunken fool of himself. At this point the drunkard broke the security guards grip and ran laughing into the crowd while the security chased after him like a fucking Charlie Chaplin film. This is by quite some margin the funniest thing I have seen in a long time. After Iggy performed his penultimate song “I Wanna Be Your Dog” I felt a slight trickle of rain on my arm and decided to call it a day and made my way back to the station. Iggy must hate having to perform at festivals in the UK because there’s a good chance he’ll get soaking wet. In fact I’m surprised that after fifty years of performing without a shirt that he hasn’t contracted pneumonia. I bet in the early seventies performing with one’s shirt off was probably a good idea for a gimmick that set you apart from the other acts at the time but I bet that Iggy couldn’t have foreseen that he would still be doing it fifty years later on a cloudy day in a park in England while looking like something you’d see hanging in a butcher shop window. I bet he would just love to put a shirt on but he’s being doing it for so long now that it would look out of place. People would go “but what about all the times you didn’t have a shirt on?”. I missed out on my chance to see Iggy at the Royal Albert Hall in 2018 because I was in New York in the date of the gig. It sounds horrible to say but due to his advanced age I worried that I might have missed my last chance to see him (especially when covid hit). I was delighted therefore when he announced this gig because it meant I would be able to see an all time legend in one of my favourite cities in the world no less. Iggy is a true innovator and one of those artists who you can tell doesn’t give a fuck what people think of him which endears me to anyone (unless it’s a politician obviously). I left the gig happy that I finally got to cross this legend of rock off my band bucket list and now the only true must see artist I have left in there are Devo who I will be seeing in a month and a half. I was one of the first concert goers to arrive at the station and saw that the train wouldn’t arrive for another half hour. I waited patiently but when there was five minutes left to wait some bloke from the station came out and loudly told us that the next train back to kings cross was actually going to be at a different platform and ushered us up the stairs. I was furious because now I was unlikely to get a seat and I was even more furious when we got to the other station and was told by another station representative that the bloke who told us to come here had ducked up and we needed to go back where we came from. I got back to the platform just as the train arrived and had to cram myself in and got squashed to the very front of the carriage. Even though the train was full more people still squeezed on when we arrived at the next platform. Someone actually shouted at me to move down to let more people on. I just made a motion illustrating to him that I couldn’t move any further but what I want to do was scream “IF I MOVE ANY FURTHER DOWN I’LL BE DRIVING THE TRAIN YOU STUPID CUNT!”. Anywho i finally arrived back at Kings Cross at about midnight and my hostel was only a short walk up the road. I still had a biting a buzz on from the gig and worried I wouldn’t be able to get to sleep but thankfully after 30 minutes or so I felt my eyelids getting heavier and I stood drifted off. I haven’t had many good days over the last 34 years but today was definitely one of them.
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skelermin · 1 year ago
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Hi there! I’m your local safety regulation pervert and I’ve spent an exhaustive amount of time looking into this. I cannot stress to you how much these people were spitting in the face of fate at every step of this. Here’s a good look at this submarine there people were in.
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That thing is called the Oceangate Titan and it’s basically an overly expensive coffin. Here’s some details from the company’s own website basically bragging that the vessel was not rated or classified by any kind of safety organization.
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They basically outline here that they didn’t go through the classing process because they felt it restricted their “innovation“.
Also, if playing My Heart Will Go On as they descended to see the historical inspiration of the film that song is a reference to wasn’t ironic enough. Through my reading on sea vessel safety regulations, I learned that these very regulations were put in place specifically due to the event of the sinking of the Titanic. The regulations I read through are the US Coast Guard’s Navigation and Vessel Inspection Circular No. 5-93 which is a fairly old document but after a good bit of digging it’s the most recent set of inspection criteria I can find. It has specific parameters for passenger submersibles like the one you see here. I also looked through the Code of Federal Regulations and the International Convention for Safety of Life At Sea (SOLAS) which is the main regulatory body of International sea vessel safety.
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I can only assume these are the inspection criteria that Oceangate found so constricting to their innovation. As someone who’s seen a lot of inspection guidelines I can’t say this seems particularly outrageous. The fact that they brag about not being rated as defined above sets off huge red flags for me.
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The big one that first jumped out at me and got me looking into this was the fact that the occupants are literally bolted into this thing from the outside. I’ve worked in Egress systems before so I knew the second I saw that what this one was going to say. Almost anything you might need to escape from will require 2 exits and they’d need to be appropriately marked, visible, and unobstructed.
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If you ever look at a building, plane, or a ship, you should be able to identify emergency exits at a glance with no issues. I can only assume the people who designed this particular submarine didn’t want ugly markings and unsightly hatch handles on their sleek and futuristic sub design.
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Now I’m not an expert on sea vessels so if there’s anyone reading this who knows more I’d love your input. Here are some things I found which I tried my best to identify in the pictures given of the inside and outside of the submarine. From what I understand they were using text messages to relay their position though that could be a rumor spreading around. Regardless I think if they had any form of beacon or communication method they could use, they would have been found by now. I also can’t find anything that looked like an emergency ballast anywhere on the outside of the vessel.
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There are just some gee whizz details I found while I was reading. Also some things I imagine would have been noted in any kind of safety inspection though these don’t seem like a requirement.
I fully believe these people are dead but considering one of them was the CEO responsible for this mistake of engineering and the rest or billionaires who wanted to play around at the bottom of the ocean I can’t say I feel much sympathy for them. Remember kids: YOUR SAFETY REGULATIONS ARE WRITTEN IN BLOOD. Thanks for reading.
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Oh those people are TURBO dead
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purplesurveys · 2 years ago
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1654
What is one change you need to make in your life this month? A month? That’s super short-term...erm, maybe trying to figure out a new position when I sleep? I’ve been waking up with very sore shoulders and numb arms lately. What was one good thing about today? My mom finally started using what was my Christmas gift to her – a portable, foldable bathtub hahaha. She always said she’d set it up once the climate gets warmer, and now that summer’s started she stuck to her word and used it for the first time today.
What’s been tugging on your heart lately? The whole sticky situation of mine and my friends’ fate regarding Yoongi’s concert. It’s too complicated to explain in full, but basically a major part of it is that Angela was lucky enough – and was the only one in our group of 4 – to secure 1 ticket (Reena didn’t get one from the ticketing website but quickly got to snatch one from a seller, so she’s covered), and she said she’s willing to turn it over to me while she and Hans can just go around Bangkok on the day of the concert. It’s a very conflicting situation on my end because as much as she says that she picked me and genuinely wants me to go, she is also my best friend in the world and I don’t want to enjoy the show knowing that I got in with a ticket she got, in a show she should be enjoying.
I’m super 50-50 about it right now because I’m heavily leaning towards just selling the ticket so neither of us go, but anyway that’s the reason why we’re still trying to chase extra tickets from people selling theirs – we want to be complete, and we want all of us 4 to get to watch the show. We’re starting to get offers from people willing to sell their extras, so we’ll just have to see where this takes us.
Are you comfortable with who you are? Have you accepted who you are? I’m at least more at peace with myself than I was, say, three years ago. I’d say that’s as good as it would get. There’ll always be things to work on and I don’t think I’ll ever get to say I ‘accept’ myself fully.
All the money you ever need or someone to spend the rest of your life with? Money; I don’t need a lifelong partner. Decided on that a long time ago.
What is the last thing you did that made you feel guilty? THE YOONGI THING UGH. I feel both guilty and bad about it. Of fucking course I want to see Yoongi, but I don’t want it to come from a place where my friend would have to give up her ticket for me. Worst case scenario none of us go and of course, honestly speaking, that would be a huge bummer.
Would you have sex with the last person you texted? Can’t remember the last person I texted but probably not.
What was the last thing you received in the mail? Just bills for electricity and water.
Who did you last creep on? Like...stalk? Just influencer profiles I had to review to see if they’d be a good fit for one of the campaigns I’m working on.
What country would you most like to visit in the future? I’d love just to go back to Korea. One day in Jeju is too short a time to be there.
At your workplace, are you required to wear a uniform? Nah, just a dress code.
Who is the last person that gave you butterflies? I had this minor crush on a girl I had to work with for an ad/commercial shoot. She was like production manager or something like that and anyway she fit what would typically be my type...but then that all ended when our most recent shoot ended up a disaster and we had to go like...9 hours overtime. It was a very stressful situation at work and I’d rather not get into detail but anyway that marked the end of any butterflies I had for her lmao.
Do you consider weed, marijuana, pot, etc. a drug? Well, yeah.
Are you planning on kissing anyone tomorrow evening? Nope. Do you require a lot of private time? Um, not really. I like being around people, and having weekends to myself usually suffices as me-time already.
Have you ever done something humiliating while drunk? Yep.
Have you ever told a guy you were a lesbian to get him to leave you alone? Kind of? What I did before was stick closer to my partner at the time and wait for them to get the hint.
If you have a favorite television show, who’s your favorite character? Gus Fring.
-- a lil two-in-one again for this round --
Hi, Your name is? Robyn.
What was the last thing you ate? Aligue pasta.
Do you hold the singstar microphone with your right or left hand? The...what?
What’s the best part about flying? The views at the start and end. The flights themselves can get so boring, but I still gun for the window seat as much as possible as views of the city always get me in the feeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeels.
Who did you last have a deep and meaningful conversation with? Andi. I talked to them about my struggles with enjoying wrestling these days, and how I was starting to come to terms with the fact that I can’t actually digest technical wrestling and mostly watch shows for their entertainment/storyline value. Very WWE way of doing things – which is why I’ve always struggled to get into other promotions. It prompted Andi to open up and they got into this whole spiel of what technical wrestling is really all about, and taught me some mental notes to take note of the next time I watch wrestling so I can get into the in-ring chemistry more. They gave me some sample matches to watch too, just so I can understand better what they meant with their tips. Really loved that conversation. 
Any vacations planned? Yeah I’ve now got two in June. Bangkok with friends, and then Kuala Lumpur with family that same week. The latter has me going CRAZY because my mom booked it to be the same week I’m flying back to Manila from Bangkok :((((( So basically, I arrive in Manila from Bangkok on a Tuesday morning; then Friday evening I’ll be on a plane again en route to KL. It’ll be such a hectic couple of weeks for me lol.
Who were you last in a car with? Mom and siblings.
Do you play any sports? Table tennis.
Which friend have you known the longest? Angela and I have been friends for 18 years.
Do you drink the recommended 6-8 glasses of water per day? No. I drink a lot of water in a day, but not up to 8 glasses.
How many times have you been to Wet'n'Wild? What’s that?
Did you ever watch Sailor Moon? No, not into anime.
Chocolate or Vanilla ice cream? Honestly neither since I find chocolate to be too strong a flavor and vanilla too bland; but if I didn’t have a choice I might just go with chocolate.
Do you have a facebook? Yes.
Favourite shop? Ncat, hahahahaha.
What was the last thing you brought on ebay? I’ve never bought anything from eBay.
Did you know that Deli Lama is actually a person and not a Llama? Deli Lama??????????
Do you think Merryl Streep can actually sing in Mamma Mia? Idk I’ve never seen that movie and am not interested.
What gym do you have a membership to? None.
What do you want for Christmas? Damn, I have to pick this early? Hahaha at this point, if anyone asked me I’d probably just ask for Yoongi tickets.
Do you think hiptops should be called “shit tops”? I have no idea what this question is talking about.
If you had to get glasses would you wear contacts? I can’t stand anything being put near or in my eyes, so no. I’ll always prefer glasses.
Are Mac’s really better than PC’s? I’m sure both have their strengths but having experienced both, I prefer Macs. My old HP laptop lagged all the time and was a hub for viruses and it was all generally just very stressful for me lol.
Favourite drink? Just cold water.
Have you ever been to the snow? No, I’ve never seen snow.
New Year’s Plans? No clue, it’s too early to plan for that.
Would you agree that Sex and The City is the best show ever? I’ve never seen it but I’m pretty confident there are tons of better shows.
Do you call your friends with red hair “ranga’s”? No?
Should Paris Hilton consider running for president? No.
If you were to go to prison for one thing, what would it be? Idk man. Maybe disrespecting police because ACAB and because I realistically would have no problem doing that when push comes to shove, and especially if I feel disrespected first.
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sundayevenings11pm · 2 years ago
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28th Nov Monday - Lei
Recognizing Progress
Last week was an exceptionally busy week in terms of work. This was partly due to the fact that the week before, I only worked half a week due to the Bali trip. The top of the agenda last week involved judging those two hackathons, ensuring quizzes are going smoothly, working on Transactions component, Boba AMA, design on React components, etc. 
A lot of smaller miscellaneous pieces as usual. Well, as long as it pays. 
The recent weekend was spent in a restful manner. Played ball for both mornings of the weekend. Kinda just chilled / did housework / finished listening to Empire of Pain, which is so good. Had a nice dinner with Fatin on Saturday night, which was preceded by the fateful morning tea at 6th Avenue where we decided, after talking about it, to give the relationship another go. Big happenings in the emotional space over the weekend, and we are both still adjusting I think. So yes, recognizing progress: these bigger life decisions, made over smaller, seemingly mundane mornings and afternoons. I believe that this decision is the right one and that it is personally meaningful. 
In terms of my original 40 days plan, I’d kind of detracted since Tues 15th Nov, which not coincidentally was two days before I flew to Bali. The Bali trip effectively put a break to my original goal, which was this:
The goal is really to master Typescript, and then put it into practice by building a frontend app for Evmos.
First, I’ll need to finish the Typescript course and really master Typescript, by building a frontend application using Typescript for Evmos. This is the first goal, and if I do it well, it’ll allow me to also win a prize that might just inflate 100x in a few years.
Taking stock of progress, I’ve gained a moderate understanding and practice of Typescript. I’ve not mastered it yet, merely acquainted myself with the basics. I’ve also applied what I’ve learned to build out a transactions component. At this stage, it’s perhaps wise to see how best I can move forward. 
A few things to do (Personal): 
1. Finish the final exercises of FullStackOpen (Top priority)
2. Read and make detailed notes of The Art of Clean Code - and write a blogpost about it.  (Top priority)
3. Find out what other typescript exercises I can do to at least progress with 5 days this week - despite EthIndia - to make it Day 28. (Top priority)
4. Mum’s website (Top Priority)
5. Read and learn Non-Timing-Trading System
6. Write a blogpost on Empire of Pain 
7. Clean up musingsondefi - make it more publically presentable. 
8. Finalize application for NUS masters course. 
To do for Covalent:
(to add as the week progresses)
1. Collate FAQs into a notion page
2. Discord support 
3. Prepare for EthIndia presentation 
4. Create Promising Projects spreadsheet 
5. See where we’re at with Oasis AM
6. Final week of encode 
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marauders-venting · 3 years ago
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Pardon My French
pairing: wolfstar (sirius x remus)
genre: fluff
warnings: none
words: 3556
note: thank you to @ probably_wizardingworld_artist on instagram for helping me translate things into french. also i got some of the lines that sirius says from this website https://www.fluentu.com/blog/french/french-pick-up-lines/
a/n: if you dont speak french (like me) dont look up a translation! everything will be clear by the end of the fic and its more fun if you find out along with remus. i mean, i cant really stop you if you want to translate the sentences but thats just my advice :)
Remus was sitting in the library, a French to English dictionary open on his lap, sighing in frustration as he flipped through the pages. For the past couple of weeks, Sirius had taken to murmuring things in French under his breath and it drove Remus crazy that he didn’t know what they meant. He had asked Sirius on several occasions but Sirius always refused to tell him. But the fact that he didn’t understand the words wasn’t the only reason it drove him crazy when Sirius spoke French. It’s not Remus’ fault that Sirius sounds really hot when his lips curve around the words in “the language of love”.
Remus tries not to think about it but it’s becoming increasingly more difficult because every time they’re alone together Sirius seems to find something to say in French (if only to piss Remus off).
The last time Sirius had said something in French to him had been last weekend. It was the first sunny weekend since the winter and Marlene had suggested that they all go down to the lake for a swim.
Remus’ brain could barely form a single coherent thought from the moment Sirius took off his shirt; he was too busy trying not to stare. He remembered jumping into the lake and trying to get warm by swimming to the far side, away from all his friends. Sirius had followed him to make sure he was okay.
“I’m fine,” he had said, smiling slightly at Sirius. “Just cold.”
“Oh okay,” Sirius said, looking relieved. He had glanced back at their friends before whispering, “On devrait t’arrêter pour excès de beauté sur la voie publique” and submerging his head in the water and swimming back to James, Peter, Lily, Marlene, Dorcas, Mary and Alice. Remus had felt a shiver down his spine that had nothing to do with the cold.
Then there was the time that Sirius had skipped Quidditch practice to visit Remus in the hospital wing after a particularly bad full moon. James, being the captain, had been able to delay the practice so that he and Peter could come to visit as well but they had to practice for the game the following day. James had to be at the practice because he was the captain and Peter had to be there because they didn’t have another Keeper to fill in. But James had given Sirius permission to stay with Remus (which showed just how terrible he felt that he couldn’t stay as well). They watched a bit of the practice from the hospital wing but Remus was getting frustrated, having to stay in a hospital bed for so long. So, after clearing it with Madam Pomfrey, Sirius helped Remus climb all the way to the Astronomy Tower. They sat up there watching the sunset when Sirius said, “Il y a tellement de soleil dans tes yeux que je bronze quand tu me regardes.”
“Ugh, do you make it your life goal to patronize me?” Remus had said.
“Of course, Moony, what else would I live for?”
“Are you ever going to stop doing that?” he asked.
“Probably not,” Sirius had replied, grinning at him. “It’s too much fun.”
“Why do you even bother?” Remus said. “You know I don’t understand a single word of what you’re saying. Why don’t you go talk to someone who speaks French?”
“Because then they’d know what I was saying,” Sirius replied simply. He had refused to answer any more of his questions.
Remus had needed to spend that night in the hospital wing again. All night, Sirius’ voice rang through his head but every time he tried to make something coherent of it, actually words or letters or even sounds, he couldn’t. He could never remember what Sirius had said long enough to actually look it up or ask anyone.
But lately, Remus had noticed that Sirius had been repeating the same sentence in French practically every day. He recognises the sound of the words in Sirius’ mouth.
So today, Remus waited until he was alone with Sirius, waited for Sirius to say what Remus knew he would. And when he did Remus repeated the words in his head a million times until he remembered them. And now Remus was in the library and looking up the words in a dictionary. 
He knew that he could’ve gone to Lily and asked her to translate it for him but he didn’t want to. He knows it’s stupid but he feels like this is something that Sirius is saying to him and only to him. Remus had never heard Sirius whisper in French to anyone else. And as much as Remus pretended to be annoyed by it, he actually liked that he had this with Sirius. He liked that they had something that was just their own. And even though it was probably nothing, he didn’t want to share it with Lily right now.
Chaque jour je tombe plus amoureux de toi. That was the sentence. Remus looked up each word individually and came to the conclusion that he must have heard wrong or maybe the words were spelt differently to how they were pronounced. Because there was no way in hell that Sirius had said these words to him. It was impossible. Right? Remus didn’t know. And he knew that the only way he could be sure was by asking Lily. He had asked Sirius a million times to no avail. And he needs to know what Sirius has been saying to him, especially now that there’s a chance… No, Remus tells himself, you just translated wrong. Don’t get your hopes up. So Remus gives in. He’d rather ask Lily and find out what Sirius has been saying to him every day for the last month than keep this to himself without even understanding it.
“Hey Lily,” he started, getting her attention. Remus had waited until the two of them were alone, just in case he had translated right. Which he hadn’t. He knows he translated it wrong. But he’d still rather nobody knew about it. “What does ‘chaque jour je tombe plus amoureux de toi’ mean?” He fumbled across the words a bit, hearing how terrible his pronunciation was. Lily looked at him, her eyebrows raised.
“Where on earth did you hear that sentence?” she asked.
“I read it somewhere,” Remus lied easily. “So what does it mean?”
“It means ‘every day, I fall more in love with you.’” Remus’ jaw dropped open. “Remus, who told you they’re in love with you?”
“What? Nobody! What makes you think someone said that to me?”
“You said that you read that sentence somewhere but if you had read it, you would have no idea how to pronounce it. Besides the look on your face when I told you what it means is more than enough. So who was it?”
“None of your business,” he said. “But y–you’re kidding, right? That’s not actually what it means. Right?”
“No, I’m not kidding, Rem. That’s what it means,” she replied, laughing at the look on his face. “Come on, tell me who it was.”
“No fucking way,” Remus said. “Besides, they’re probably joking. I mean… no, they’re definitely joking.” Lily shrugged.
“Just ask them,” she said. “And then you have to tell me who your secret admirer is.” She poked him in the side.
“Stooooop,” he said, jumping away from her and laughing against his will. “I’m going.” He got up and started walking away.
“Have fun with your mystery lover,” she called after him without looking back. Remus rolled his eyes but his mind was racing. So apparently he hadn’t been wrong. That was what Sirius had said to him. What does this even mean? He’s teasing you, said a voice in his head, like always. Sirius doesn’t love you. Not like that. But he said he does. Don’t be stupid. Sirius isn’t in love with you. He’s joking. Like always.
The next time Sirius said it, they were in the Room of Requirement. Sirius had ambushed Remus in the middle of his prefect rounds with Lily levitating a cardboard box in midair. Typical. He had practically given Remus a heart attack by interrupting his conversation with Lily, leaving Remus to wonder just how much of the conversation he had overheard.
“So have you talked to your mystery French lover yet?” Lily had teased. Remus groaned.
“No, I haven’t,” he said. “And I probably won’t.”
“Why not?” Lily demanded. “They’re being very romantic, Remus, you should at least appreciate their effort.”
“I’d appreciate it more if they’d just tell me what the fuck they want instead of sending me coded messages that they know I don’t understand,” Remus grumbled.
“Moonyyyyy,” Sirius said, coming up from behind him. Remus jumped, turning around, heart racing in his chest.
“Sirius? What are you doing here?” he asked. “You know it’s after hours, right?” Sirius snorted.
“Yes, Remus, I am fully aware of the fact that I’m breaking a school rule,” he said, smirking.
“Are you aware that technically Remus and I have to turn you in?” Lily said.
“Ah, but do you really plan on doing that, Evans?” Sirius asked.
“That depends,” she replied. “Why are you here?”
“Right,” Sirius remembered, then he turned to Remus. “James forgot to put this box with the rest of the stuff for tomorrow so I said I’d take it. And you’re coming with me.”
“Remind me why again?” Remus said.
“Moony, come on, don’t make me go alone. I’ll be lonely,” Sirius pouted.
“You are insufferable, did you know that?”
“And yet, you’ve tolerated me for 6 years now.”
“Yeah, the keyword there is ‘tolerated’,” Remus said, rolling his eyes. “Lils…” he started, turning to her.
“Nope,” she said before he could even ask. “No way. You are not leaving me to do these rounds alone because then I’ll die of boredom. So unless you want me to tell McGonagall that your planning something for tomorrow, you’re going to finish this floor with me and then I’ll go back to the common room and you can do whatever the fuck you want.”
“Evans…” Sirius pouted.
“Nope, that’s non-negotiable, Black. Also, do I want to ask?” She gestured to the hovering box.
“The less you know, the better,” he said. “Although, I would avoid the classrooms near the dungeons tomorrow if I were you.” She nodded and Remus thought he saw her smile slightly for a second.
“You go on, I’ll catch up,” he said to Sirius, knowing that Lily’s mind would not be changed. He couldn’t blame her. He wouldn’t have let her leave him to finish this chore alone either. She was right, it was painstakingly boring. Which is why he would much rather be with Sirius. But it was only fair that he finished tonight’s rounds with her; she did cover for him around the full moon, after all.
Sirius pouted but knew better than to argue and turned to go to the Room of Requirement. Remus watched him and he disappeared up a flight of stairs. Only then did he notice Lily was smirking at him.
“What?” he asked, sounding a bit defensive.
“So Sirius is your secret French admirer?” she said.
“W–What?” he spluttered. “What makes you think that?”
“Well, for one, the look on your face when he showed up right behind us while we were talking about your mystery lover,” Lily said. “It was the look people make when you’ve just been talking about someone and then they show up and you’re worried that they may have overheard you.”
“That… is a very specific look,” Remus said, avoiding the question she was asking.
“Then you smiled at him when you called him insufferable,” she said.
“So?”
“So it was one of those I’m-smiling-at-you-while-I’m-teasing-you-cause-I’m-secretly-in-love-with-you smiles.”
“Again, that's a very specific expression,” he said.
“Look, I know you like him, so will you just admit it already?”
“Why? What good would that information do you? It’s for me to worry about and for Sirius to never discover, ever.”
“Remus, you’re kidding, right?” she said. “Sirius literally told you that he loves you, in French no less.”
“Exactly, Lily. In French. If he actually meant it, why would he say it in a language that he knows I don’t understand? He just knew that I would look it up and he wanted to make some joke.”
“I really don’t think so, Remus,” Lily said, shaking her head. “I think he really loves you.”
“He doesn’t,” Remus said. “He can’t. Not like that.”
“Remus, do you love him?” she asked. Remus closed his eyes.
“Yeah,” he said quietly. “I love him.”
“So why are you doing this to yourself? Just ask him what he meant when he said it. You don’t even have to tell him anything, just ask him what he meant.”
“But… what if he says it was a joke?”
“First of all, I don’t think he will,” Lily said. “But if he does, that’s what you’re expecting, isn’t it? It won’t be a surprise or anything.”
“I know, I know, I just…” Remus sighed and looked away from her. “I don’t think I’m ready to hear him say it. To be properly rejected.”
“Oh, Rem,” she said. They had reached the end of the corridor and Lily stopped to hug him. “Obviously I’m not going to make you do anything. You know what I think. Go find Sirius now, he’ll be waiting for you. Do what you think is right.”
“Yeah,” Remus said, hugging her back. “Yeah, okay.” So Lily went in the direction of the common room and Remus went to the Room of Requirement.
He found Sirius sitting with his back against the wall, the box beside him.
“You’re an idiot,” Remus told him, trying to put the conversation with Lily out of his mind. “You’re practically begging to get caught.” Sirius shrugged.
“I was waiting for you,” he said. “Come on, let’s go in.” They paced back and forth in front of the wall three times. We need a place to hide our things, Remus thought. A door appeared and Sirius opened it, leading the box in with his wand. They had been here before to hide loads of things. The room was pretty cluttered from years of students dumping their things in it but they knew where exactly to hide the box so that they’d be able to find it tomorrow when they needed it. Remus followed Sirius through aisles upon aisles of junk, looking at all the broken, discarded things people threw in here.
They found the corner where they’d left everything else and Sirius added the box to the rest of the pile.
“Are we done here?” Remus asked.
“Yep, we can leave now,” Sirius said. They had started walking back towards the door when Remus heard Sirius say it from behind him.
“Chaque jour je tombe plus amoureux de toi.” Remus turns to him and stops him in his tracks.
“Pads, why do you keep saying that? Who are you talking to?”
“Remus, you are aware that you’re the only one here right? I’m talking to you.”
“Then why… why are you—?”
“I know, I know, you don’t understand French,” Sirius says. “That’s why it's fun. It’s amusing to know something that you don’t, for once.”
“Sirius… I know what that sentence means,” Remus says quietly. Sirius’ neck snaps up.
“What?”
“I know what that sentence means,” Remus repeats.
“No, you don’t,” Sirius says, shaking his head.
“Yeah, I do. I asked Lily after the last time you said it. She translated for me.”
“Fuck, I didn’t know Lily could speak French,” Sirius says, rubbing a hand over his face. “So… so this whole time you’ve known what I’m saying? So you know that I… you know that I… oh god, Remus I’m sorry. I didn’t mean… I didn’t want to… I was just…” Sirius starts to back away, shaking his head and looking anywhere but at Remus. Remus reaches out and grabs his hand.
“Don’t go,” Remus says. “Sirius. Is it a joke? Are you making a joke? Actually, no, don’t tell me. Cause if it’s a joke I’d rather you bury me under all the crap in this room and spare me the pain.”
“What?”
“It’s not a joke, is it?” Remus asked, a pleading look in his eyes.
“No,” Sirius said, softly. “It’s not a joke. I’m sorry, Remus, I didn’t mean to—”
“Shh,” Remus said, pressing a finger to Sirius’ lips. “Sirius,” Remus tucked Sirius’ hair behind his ear. Remus was vaguely aware of Sirius stepping towards him, towards his touch. “I love you, too.” Sirius gapes at him
“Really?” he whispers.
“Yeah,” Remus says. He’s still holding Sirius’ hand. He pulls Sirius closer and lets his other hand graze Sirius’ cheek.
“Puis-je t'embrasser?” Sirius whispers.
“Pads, I… I don’t know what that means.” Sirius lets out a small laugh and looks down at the floor. Then he looks back up at Remus, his grey eyes glistening in the last sliver of sunlight. He’s biting his lip.
“Can I kiss you?”
“Please,” Remus says, without thinking. He feels the blush blooming on his cheeks but Sirius is already kissing him, rising on his tip-toes to make his lips reach Remus’. Remus feels electric currents dancing around his body, unable to contain the excitement. He’s kissing Sirius. Sirius is kissing him back. Sirius loves him. Sirius loves him in the same way that he loves Sirius. Sirius is snaking his hands around Remus’ waist pulling him closer. Sirius’ hair is soft, tangled between his fingers. Sirius is here, in his arms, and it’s everything Remus has been wanting and more.
“Wait, so now can you tell me everything you’ve been saying in French the whole time?” They’re sitting in the same large armchair, hands still linked together, legs tucked against their chests, knees and thighs and hips pressed together. Remus is very aware of every point where his skin is making contact with Sirius’. He’s counting them.
They found the armchair in the Room of Requirement; it’s unclear to them whether the chair is something that’s been dumped in the room by somebody else or if the room conjured it up because they were looking for it. 
Neither one of them wants to go back to the common room yet. Remus doesn’t want to see Lily’s smirk and to have to admit she was right at the moment. He’ll do that tomorrow. Right now, all he wants is to be with Sirius. To press little kisses to his nose, his cheeks, his jaw, his lips just because he can.
“Oh god,” Sirius says, burying his face in between Remus’ shoulder and the back of the armchair. “It’s like you want me to embarrass myself.”
“This surprises you?” Remus kisses the corner of his mouth. Then his jaw. Then his neck. Just because he can. “Please.”
“Ah fine,” Sirius gives in. “Um, what do you want to know?”
“What did you say that day at the lake?” Remus asks.
“Oh that. I said, ‘on devrait t’arrêter pour excès de beauté sur la voie publique’. It means uh… ugh, you’re going to laugh at me for this. It means ‘you should be arrested for excessive beauty in public’,” Sirius said, blushing. Remus rolled his eyes but he felt his cheeks heat too. He smiles a little.
“What about that day on the Astronomy Tower?” he continues.
“Ugh,” Sirius buries his face in his hands. “You’re trying to kill me. I said, ‘il y a tellement de soleil dans tes yeux que je bronze quand tu me regardes’. Which means, uh… ‘there’s so much sun in your eyes that I get a tan when you look at me.’”
“You’re quite the poet, aren’t you?” Remus smiles. “And what about tonight?”
“I thought you said you knew what that meant,” Sirius says. “Or were you bluffing the whole time?”
“No, I know what it means,” Remus says. “I just want to hear you say it. In English this time, please.”
“So demanding,” Sirius teases. “I’ve said it in French a million times already and you want me to say it in English? What difference does it make?”
“Well, none to you, you speak both languages.”
“Oh, alright,” Sirius says. It’s the first time Remus has seen his face really go red. He decides he likes it. “Every day I fall more in love with you.” Remus can’t hide his smile, nor does he want to, as he leans in to kiss Sirius. He brushes his lips against Sirius’ timidly before connecting them, his hand caressing Sirius’ cheek. Remus loses count of the points of contact between him and Sirius as their bodies melt together and Remus worries that he’s about to wake up from a dream. But when he feels Sirius’ hand gently tracing the scars on his hand he knows that this is real, that Sirius can really love him. Sirius does love him.
People come to the Room of Requirement to throw things away, to hide things that they don’t want anybody else to know about, to leave things they never want to see again. But that night, Remus didn’t just leave something in the Room of Requirement. He found something, too.
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aeonmagnus · 3 years ago
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Happy 20th Anniversary Robots In Disguise!
This year, and today in particular, marks the 20-year anniversary of Transformers Robots in Disguise airing in the United States.  This was the official English language dub of the Japanese show Transformers Car Robots, which aired in Japan the year before.   This show and it’s accompanying toy line were a big shift in the Transformers brand and affected how things moved forward in the new millennium.  It was also a big influence on me and this website in it’s early years, so both the brand and TFW2005 may not be what it is today without it.
We hope you will read on after the break to check out our celebration of Robots in Disguise on it’s 20th!
Intro
The following is not a comprehensive article on the show proper, but rather a trip down memory lane from my personal perspective.  It was a period of change in my life, in the fandom, in the brand, and in the world – all happening at once.  Robots in Disguise was smack dab in the middle of it all and I think that’s why it still resonates with me all these years later.  For a deeper dive into the world of Robots In Disguise you can check RIDForever.info, a site I maintain just about RID and Car Robots. The 2021 updates are here, and the 2017 round of updates are here.  I’d also suggest checking the TFWe issue all about RID over on the 2005 Boards.  Now, onto today’s festivities…
The Show
RID, and yes I say RID as if it is the only RID.  If you must reference that other RID show and it’s off-shoots, refer to it as RID 201x, thanks. 😊 RID aired during the Fox Kids programming block on a Saturday morning, with additional episodes set to air each weekday during the afternoon hours.  Instead of stretching the show out over the course of 30+ weeks with only a new ep each weekend, they were going to blaze through it non-stop.  By the end of the first week, we would have been 7 eps in.  That however hit a big roadblock due to 9/11 just three days later.  While some local markets did air the episodes, many larger city networks, and especially east coast markets, stuck with news coverage.   Many of us did not catch the early episodes on TV the first go around.  In addition, several of the episodes got pulled from TV due to depictions of buildings being destroyed and other similar visuals which understandably could upset children that just experienced 9/11.  So right off the bat, the new millennium and new era of Transformers were dealing with a new reality.
The show, for those that don’t know – was a weird one-off in Transformers history.  We had G1 and then the G2 remixes for a bit.  Beast Wars came on the scene and ran all the way through 2000 with it’s successor – Beast Machines.   During the Beast Wars era – Japan did a couple of their own Beast Wars shows, non-CGI extensions of what we saw in the US.   Their market wasn’t quite ready for full CGI so they stuck with traditional anime.  When Hasbro decided to continue Beast Wars into Beast Machines, Takara went a completely different way – a traditional animated show which brought back Autobots and “Decepticons”, mixing them in with the beasts.  They focused the toys on a couple new and complex molds, then filled the rest of the line with repaints of previous toys.  Old 2nd tier Beast Wars toys, G2 Laser Prime, and even some Generation 1 molds in the form of the Combaticons got new life as new characters in this show, capped with the biggest TF of them all at the time – a repainted G1 Fortress Maximus, now Brave Maximus.  It was the prototype for what the Transformers brand did for years to come – repainting old toys into new characters.  Universe, Classics, Botcon, and even some Generations runs used this method to give us some great toys in the 00s.
While there is a very complicated and long explanation for how every single Japanese show is one continuity, to someone casually starting with Car Robots it was a refresh, a new story, a new arrival on Earth.  The Autobots vs the Predacons, and eventually the Combatrons/Decepticons. It was a hard cut from the last 5 years or so of CGI Beasts.  Hand drawn traditional animation featuring vehicle Transformers.  It wasn’t G1, but many of the folks who grew up with G1 were just getting out of college around this time.  They were rediscovering their childhood love of Transformers through Beast Wars, flea market finds, raids on their parents’ attics and basements, and for the internet savvy – imports of Japanese reissues from Takara.  It was a perfect storm of nostalgia; a return to Autobots and Decepticons was welcomed by kids and adults alike.
RID and TFW2005
In the years leading up to Car Robots, I was just getting into the internet, coding, design, some digital music, and all the possibility that came with it.  Beast Wars, especially when it hit Season 2/3 and the inclusion of G1 lore, really got me focusing on Transformers again as a hobby.  I eventually combined the two newfound hobbies into one and Transformer World 2005 was born.  At no point did I ever think it would last 20+ years and take over my life in the way it did.  I started the full version of TFW2005 around April 2000, with some starts and stops before that.  That was right around when Car Robots started airing in Japan.  Through the magic of 56k internet, I was able to connect with folks in Japan and get them to send me VHS tapes of Car Robots.  Really nice, high-quality tapes too, I still have them hehe.  To the younglings reading – try to picture this: no youtube, no video sharing. The concept of streaming anything did not exist yet. Napster and the eventual peer to peer stuff hadn’t fully kicked off.  Plus, we were all viewing the internet on giant computers in our rooms at the speed of 1x on your phone.  Less than 1 bar 3G mobile speeds today.
Yes, someone recorded episodes from TV to video tape over there, did that a couple weeks at a time, then physically mailed them across the world to me, who then got them on the internet.  Can you imagine waiting weeks to watch an episode of TV the size of a twitter profile avatar?  Crazy.  Uploading a full episode to the internet was a big pain in the ass, not easily done.  I decided to get a converter that allowed me to plug my VCR into the computer and encode the tape into digital format.  From there, it was reduced using Microsoft’s WMV technology so that the episodes were about 5 MB each.  30 minute episodes at 5MB each. Dimensions – 176 x 144 pixels.  4k video today – 3840 x 2160 pixels.  You can imagine that video looked like crap.  But we didn’t care – we were blown away.  Old school animation, vehicles, some cool Japanese anime vibes, it was what we as G1 fans kinda had in the back of our heads on what Transformers should be in a new era, and we were seeing it.  Most of us had no clue what they were saying or what was going on.  Also didn’t care.  I still to this day think CR/RID is better like that.
So one of the first things TFW2005 did on the internet was provide these super small windows into Car Robots and what was going on in Japan. It helped get US fans hyped up for what Transformers could be. It got us wanting the toys, and importers bringing the Takara toy line over were moving serious product.  It helped swing Hasbro, who was planning to return to Autobots and Decepticons again down the road, to move that schedule up.  Instead of running Beast Machines until 2002 and then starting what we now know as the Unicron Trilogy, it was cut short.  Robots in Disguise as a toy line and show came over in 2001, ran fast and hard for a year with non stop releases, got extended because it did so well, and then faded into the Universe line of repaints.  The new millennium of Transformers was here and Robot In Disguise kicked it off with a bang.
Wrap Up
As we all continue with collecting Transformers now, regardless if you tagged into the fandom during G1, Beasties, the Unicron Trilogy, the Movies, or just yesterday – let’s take the time to give Car Robots and RID some props!  It set the tone for what the new millennium of the brand would be.  It gave us some toys ahead of their time.  It solidified the repaint as an accepted thing in the hobby. And it gave us one crazy 39 episode run of TV that’s still a fun ride 20 years later.
For those that would like to learn more about RID and Car Robots – I still maintain a Robots in Disguise website that archives everything I have or came across.  There is a lot there if you want to go on a tour of all the awesome Car Robots and Robots In Disguise era stuff.  Check it out at RIDFOREVER.INFO! FIYAH!
Let us know what you think and remember from the good old days of RID on the 2005 Boards here!
Epilogue
If someone over there at Hasbro is reading – can someone please figure out who owns the rights to the show in the US market and then get it out on DVD in full, finally?  Work all that funky licensing stuff out (if there is any) and get it done.  The US has never had access to it via an official release.  Maybe get it up on YouTube like G1?  Something.  Announcing plans for that before the end of 2021 would be a nice 20th anniversary tribute.
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btsslowburnfic · 4 years ago
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-The Arrangement- Chapter 1
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Summary: Desperately in need of money, you answered the questionable add. AKA-Arranged marriage AU featuring Y/N and Yoongi.
Chapter summary: Let’s meet our lovely [Y/N]. Every good story starts somewhere. Buckle up for the next few months babes <3 
Chapter 1
“Nope, sorry, I have to get to my other job.” You politely declined getting after-work drinks with your colleagues like usual. It was nice of them to still invite you even though you never said yes. 
You excused yourself to the company restroom. Out with the office worker, in with the bartender. You switched shirts, put your hair up in a ponytail, and applied heavier make-up. You'd switch out your skirt when you got to the club. As dumb and gross as it was, you always made more money when you wore your questionably short shorts. Oh well, money is money. 
You sent a quick text to your brother to make sure he and your sister got to your aunt's apartment and then headed for the station. Ok. How much money do I need to make tonight? You asked yourself as you opened the banking app. You mentally calculate the amount needed to feed your siblings, pay for the bus, and utilities. Ugh Maybe Park Minho will let me stay for him tonight. He usually wanted to get out of work early to go hang out with his friends. You would be ok this week if you stopped taking the bus and ate more ramen and less real food. You sighed. You were so tired.
You walked through the black glass doors of Club Tokki. There were only a few customers right now and you immediately went to see if anyone had made coffee. Work coffee=free coffee. Luckily for you, Lisa, the woman who worked the day shift almost always needed an extra dose of afternoon caffeine and there was still enough for a cup.
“Hey doll!” Lisa greeted you. “Here, I brought some milk in as well,” she said as she poured the coffee for you.
“You are a lifesaver. Thank you so much.” You gratefully took the mug, warming your hands. 
“No problem, do you need me to do anything before I leave? I’m going to close out with those two groups first.” She asked as she rinsed off some pint glasses.
You assessed the bar looking to see what you might need over the next few hours. “Yeah, ask the bar-back to get two more bottles of Goose and a bottle of Crown. We usually go through those on Wednesdays. And maybe cut a few limes and lemons. Thanks.” You took the coffee with you to the small office and finished changing clothes. Lisa was a student so she shared your need for thrifty living, coffee, and work. You didn’t have many friends, but you knew you could count on Lisa for caffeine and getting the bar prepped. 
You walked back out to the bar, mentally preparing yourself for the night ahead. In a few minutes people like your office coworkers would stream in, treating each other to after work drinks, socializing, and networking. You used to wonder if your circumstances were different if you would be the type of person who went out after work and socialized with their colleagues. You had come to the realization that “no” you wouldn’t. You would probably go home and sleep. Maybe read. You sighed and shimmied behind the bar as Lisa started to count down the drawer. "Alright, I asked the barback for the alcohol and there's 2 cups of lines and lemons." 
"Thanks a lot babe. See you tomorrow." you waved at her and started to move stuff around to where you liked it. 
"Happy money making." she smiled and headed out. 
As predicted about half an hour later, office workers start to show up and the bar is slowly starting to fill up. Club Tokki is known for its laid back vibe so it's mostly beers and "and" drinks. Whisky and coke. Vodka and soda. Occasionally there were some younger girls here that ordered the more complicated drinks. But you got those out as well; this wasn't the first bar you'd ever worked at, just the latest incarnation. And just like that, the night starts to speed up. Minho arrives two hours into your shift for the after-dinner rush.
“Just in time dude,” you greeted him as he walked behind the bar.
“What do you need?” He asked as he clocks in for the night. 
“The bar is caught up if you want to go check section one. Shinhye has the rest of the floor.” You instructed him and used this opportunity to catch up on cleaning dishes. You caught one of the guys at the end of the bar staring at you. He was definitely good looking, and stood out with his expensive suit, silver hair, and strong facial features. Whatever. As long as he tips. You were not looking for a boyfriend. Or a hookup. You cringed at the thought of even trying to navigate dating between your work schedule and also living with your Aunt as a grown ass woman. You shook your head like it would get rid of the thought. Satisfied with the current state of the bar you took a minute to drink some water and scan the club. There were worse places you could work for sure. 
Minho came back to the bar and asked you to make some shots while he grabs some beers. Grape bombs? Is this 2012? You resisted the urge to gag, having gotten sick on them when you were younger. You placed the drinks on his tray and checked the bartop once again.
Mr. Expensive Suit dimple-face was nursing a Goose and soda. “You doing ok?” you asked him as you made your way down the bar. 
“I’m great. Thanks. What’s your name?”
“[Y/N]” you responded and started to move on to your next guest. 
“This is the part where you ask my name.” he said arrogantly. Suddenly you did not care for him as much.
“Is it? I’ve never talked to someone in a bar before. I didn't realize there was a script.” you responded sarcastically. You hated it when guys thought they could manipulate you. 
“Wow. Ok. Ok. Hard to get. I respect that. I’m Kim Namjoon.” 
“Ok Mr. Kim, is there anything else I can get for you right now?” you asked, oh so sweetly.
“No. I’m good for now.” he said, laughing to himself. He shook his head incredulously and sipped his drink.
Well maybe you weren’t going to get tipped after all. Oh well. 
The rest of the night was mostly a blur. The vodka special brought in quite a few people and you ended up going through four bottles of Goose. Mr. Kim Dimples remained, nursing only his second drink now and still staring at you even though he was trying hard to not look like he was staring. It was awkward. He was hot but sooo not your type. Which you thought you had made clear.
“Mr. Kim, are you sure you even like Goose and soda?” you teased him as you made another round checking on people. 
“You know, I am more of a beer drinker myself, but I can’t pass up a good vodka special.” he leaned to the side, getting out his wallet, and pulled out a business card.
“[Y/N], I’d like for you to take this.” he stuck it between his index and middle finger, holding it out for you to take.
“I am flattered, Mr. Kim, but I’m not interested in anything like that.” you smiled politely. 
He rolled his eyes at you.  “Believe me, I’m not asking you on a date. You are so not my type,” he said with an air of disgust. As though he was repulsed that you would have even thought he would consider asking you out. “This is a job opportunity. I work for a talent agency of sorts.”
Wow. What a dick. “Oh yeah? What talent do you see?” you gesture to yourself. “I do pour some stiff drinks and can usually tell rude guys to fuck off with a smile on my face.”
To your surprise he just laughed. “You are very funny. And I suppose some people would find you attractive. Just take the card. I think you’re the best candidate I’ve found yet.” he stood up and put on his suit jacket, sitting the business card down on the bartop.
“Rude.” you casually said, crossing your arms in front of your chest.
"Well, it makes no difference to me if you accept or not. Regardless, there it is." He gestured to the card, and sat down way too much money on top of it. "Keep the change." He turned and left.  
You didn’t end up closing for Minho; the two of you both stayed since it remained steady through closing time. You were weirded out by the conversation with Mr. Kim, but having worked in a bar for the past 7 years, it wasn't the weirdest thing that had ever happened to you. You threw  the business card into your purse and forgot about it for the rest of your shift.
The remainder of the night passed without incident. As much as you disliked it, that weirdo's money helped make sure you could take the bus again the next few days. You stuffed your tips into your purse and walked home. Well. To your aunt's house. It didn't really feel like home. Just a temporary landing spot until you and your siblings could get your own place again. 
You entered quietly and washed your hands. You dutifully went through your siblings school bags, making sure their supplies and homework were where they should be. You packaged their lunches as much as you could and started a fresh batch of rice for tomorrow. All mostly in the dark so you didn't wake anyone up. Your brother was sleeping on the couch, which you hated, but he insisted on it. You were sharing the guest bedroom with your sister and your niece.
You grabbed your laptop and curled up in the corner of the kitchen to not bother anybody. I’m a 27 year old loser hiding on the floor of my Aunt’s apartment in the middle of the night. I have to wake up in 5 hours for my other job and instead I’m going to look up a website that some weird ass rude hot guy at a bar gave me. Why is this my life? You thought, and yet you pulled out the business card and entered the link. It took you to a black website with a white box asking for a code. You flipped the card over, and there it was, handwritten. You type it in and wait for the website to load, convinced it’s going to be some weird porn site with fisting or crush videos. You almost cover your eyes but to your pleasant surprise it’s a normal website. 
Seeking: a suitable adult woman for long-term companionship. Will be well compensated. Serious inquiries only. 
The text continued: If you are on this website, congratulations. You have already presented the basic level qualifications for this position. 
Ok. So maybe this was an escort service. Which I mean...if it paid better than both of your jobs and you didn’t have to have sex with people maybe you could. No. No. You talked yourself out of it and scrolled down to read more of the description,
Requirements:
Female between the ages of 20 and 40.
Flexibility in schedule
Desire to travel and attend events
Strong personality and interpersonal skills
Proficiency with Microsoft Excel and Word 
Punctuality, attention to detail, and strong organizational skills
Desired but not necessary
Non-smoker/drinks alcohol socially
Like animals 
Enjoy listening to music 
Compensation:
Position requires relocation to on-site premises and therefore covers room and board. 
Monthly stipend (click here for more information pertaining to taxes)
3 meals a day, beverages, and snacks included
Most escort services didn’t require proficiency in Microsoft Word or Excel...you were guessing. Maybe it was a legit job. Like an on-site event planner? You clicked the link contained in compensation and HOLY SHIT THAT WAS A LOT OF MONEY. 
You bit your lip and pulled up your resume. It couldn’t hurt to submit it, right? You didn’t have much to update since you had just started your office job 3 months ago. You updated the resume to include that job and listed your address as Club Tokki’s in case this was actually a sex trafficking set up. You thought about it for a another minute and then uploaded the document, took a deep breath, and hit “send.” NEXT CHAPTER
TAGS: @lidda​
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safertokiss · 4 years ago
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Concentrated Interests
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A/N: Hola my friends! This fic was my entry for the Secret Fic Swap I participated in with a couple of close friends on here and it was written and dedicated to @nerdgirljen​. It was so much fun to write and thank you guys so much for all the support and love!
Pairing: SPENCER x READER
Category: Fluff and SMUT
Word Count: 3.3k
ENJOY:)
~~~
MASTERLIST
~~~
Spencer had never really understood the concept of soulmates or love at first sight.
In his mind, it defied pretty much every scientific law about human interaction out there and was simply a coping mechanism for those who were romantically unlucky. At least that was what he had thought until a certain tech analyst walked through the BAU’s doors and into his life. 
He was frozen. Totally and utterly enamored by the woman his eyes were currently attached to. He watched her stumble into the bullpen, a large box situated in her arms, seemingly impairing the entirety of her vision and coordination, evident by the way she kept bumping into things in her path. It wasn’t until she hit a particular desk corner and spilled the contents of the box, her belongings scattering across the floor, that Spencer broke out of his stupor and took action. 
“Woah there, let me help you with that!”, he exclaimed, immediately rushing to her side and starting to collect some of the fallen items to put back into the box.
“Oh, thank you so much. Gah, this is so embarrassing. I promise you I’m not always this uncoordinated and clumsy”, she explained with a nervous chuckle. After everything was picked up and they both had stood up from their crouched positions, she hurriedly straightened out her skirt before outstretching her hand. “Hi, I’m Y/n.” She immediately noticed the slight panic that crossed his features at her gesture and was momentarily confused.
“I-uh-I kind of don’t, um, do the whole hand shaking thing. Yeah, uh, the number of pathogens spread through a handshake is staggering. It’s actually safer to...oh god I’m sorry you didn’t ask for a full-out science lesson. It’s, um, really nice to meet you, I’m Reid. Doctor. Spencer”, he sputtered out nervously.
Chuckling softly, Y/n retracted her hand, opting to instead lightly nudge his shoulder. “Well Reid Doctor Spencer, it’s nice to meet you too”, a teasing smile adorning her face as she spoke. Spencer quickly felt a warm blush spread across his features at the absurdity of his introduction.
“S-sorry about that. What I meant to say is that my name is-”
“Pretty boy!”
Both of their heads swiveled towards the sound, searching for the source, before landing on a man across the room.
“Hotch needs us in the briefing room. Stop flirting with the new girl and get your ass in here!” They watched him walk away chuckling before turning back to each other.
“Pretty boy huh? Well I guess it’s fitting, I mean you do have really nice cheekbones and dimples. And your eyes are kind of beautiful. Not that I ummmm-not that I think you’re beautiful or anything, it’s just uhhh...um...I’m gonna stop talking now.” Spencer could feel the blush returning to his features, watching the same happen to her, from the frenzied rambling that had just poured from her lips, but he found it endearing on her and quite honestly, really adorable. 
“I-uh I gotta go, you know, um deal with that, but it was very nice meeting you”, he sputtered out, sending a small wave in her direction. She shyly giggled at his nervousness which was surely reflected on her end as well. “See ya around Reid Doctor Spencer.”
“Spencer. It’s um-it’s Spencer.”
“Spencer”, she repeated back softly, nodding him off with a gentle smile on her face.
~~~
Spencer Reid was in love. The longer she was around him the more he realized he was completely and utterly in love with her, all of her. She was perfect in his eyes, intelligent, funny, a bit nerdy and just so adorable. The problem was just that he had absolutely no idea how to tell her how he felt. He had never really been the type to express his feelings to someone, especially to a girl as beautiful as Y/n. 
The female species wasn’t exactly his strong suit and he was very aware of that fact, painfully aware. However, he stayed hopeful that someday soon he’d muster up the courage to express his affinity for her. Realizing that today was definitely not that day, Spencer tried to push his conflict to the back of his brain so he could try to get some work done. Not before noticing that Y/n was slightly late, though.
Less than a minute after he noticed her absence, she came bursting into the bullpen with the largest grin adorning her features, an obvious pep in her step. Spencer watched as she skipped over to the rest of the team who were gathered around Emily’s desk, close enough where he could pretty much hear the majority of the words exchanged and profile their reactions.
He heard JJ ask what was making her so chipper this morning, and he chuckled softly to himself as he heard her immediately start rambling about whatever had her so elated. 
“Oh my god guys, you’ll never believe it! So a couple of weeks ago a good friend of mine asked me to help her with her website, because well...tech geek and all, so I got to mess around with all the software and went crazy! I was able to fiddle with the source code a bit and authorize a super high CRO and SEO to get her website out there. Not to mention all the growth hacking I was able to curate! Cool right?”
Y/n stopped to take a breath and noticed that the entirety of the team was staring at her with vacant expressions on their faces. She looked on with widened eyes as she asked, “What?”
“CRO?”, JJ questioned. Morgan awkwardly chuckled out a similar questioning tone, “SEO?” Of course that left Emily to bring up the rear. “Did I hear growth hacking in there?”
Her face scrunched up in confusion at all the questions that had just been hurled her way so suddenly. “Huh?”
“Baby girl we have absolutely no idea what any of the things you just mentioned are or what they do”, Morgan explained with a sympathetic smile on his face, as the other members nodded in agreement.
Spencer watched as Y/n’s face quickly morphed into one of utter disappointment at the knowledge that her colleagues had no clue what she was going on about. She had seemed so excited when she entered the bullpen earlier so he assumed she was probably very much looking forward to getting to talk all about it with her friends.
“Oh...that’s ok. Sorry for bothering you guys, sometimes I just get a little too excited and tend to ramble. I’ll um-I’ll talk to you guys later.” Y/n flashed them a small smile before making her way over to her desk, situated across the room near Spencer. 
“Hey Spence”, she shyly waved as she passed, a deflated look on her face. Trying to lift her spirits at least a little, he returned her gesture with a huge grin and wave, happy to see her smile brighten a bit at his enthusiasm. 
Once she was seated and facing away from him, he immediately found himself feeling overwhelmingly upset over her predicament. He hated seeing her look so defeated and down, she didn’t deserve to ever feel like that. She was simply too angelic for those kinds of feelings to permeate her mind. 
Spencer wished more than anything that he knew what she was talking about so she could go to him. He’d let her ramble to him for hours on end if it meant he could listen to her melodic voice and see her beautiful face up close. 
All of sudden Spencer slapped his hand against his head and groaned, “Of course you dipshit”, before pulling up a couple tabs on his computer.
For the next few hours his work was forgotten as he studied and learned pretty much everything there was to know about technical analysis and the programming that Y/n seemed so ecstatic about, anxious to give her, at last, a companion to discuss her passion with. 
~~~
“See you later Reid!”
Spencer’s head snapped up as he heard the people around him saying their goodbyes and goodnights, realizing that he had been distracted by his screen the entire day and that it was already time to go home. He watched as his friends walked out together, all laughing about something that Morgan had said, before noticing movement in the corner of his eye. 
As he turned his head he noticed that the only person who was still there in the bullpen with him was Y/n, and she was staring at the posse that had just exited the room, a longing look plastered across her features that broke his heart. Taking a deep breath and deciding it was now or never, he rose up from his seated position and made his way over to her, hoping that he had learned enough to lighten her mood.
“Hey there!”, he exclaimed when he had found himself right behind her. As soon as the words started escaping his lips, she jumped in her seat, her hand flying to her heart.
“Jesus Christ Spence! You scared the complete shit out of me!”
Chuckling softly at her overreactive response, he moved to sit on her desk, facing her heavily breathing sitting figure. “Sorry, sorry. I didn’t mean to scare you. I just saw you that you were still here and was wondering why you hadn’t left with everyone else?” She quickly looked down and blushed at his questioning, embarrassed of her answer.
“Oh I-um they just looked like they were having a lot of fun and I didn’t really want to interrupt so I thought I’d stay back for a little bit to-uh finish up some stuff.” Once she finished her unconvincing explanation, Spencer leaned back a bit and studied her. While this was something he found himself doing often, always getting distracted by her spectacular figure, he focused on her body language more than anything, noticing the dark circles underneath her eyes.
“Y/n, you look absolutely exhausted. Have you even been sleeping lately?”, he asked, genuine concern laced within his words.
“Y-yeah I haven’t really. I’ve kind of been pretty preoccupied in the last few days helping out a friend. It’s really fun, but it’s also very time consuming”, she stuttered out, a small smile gracing her lips.
“Oh right! I had heard you mention that earlier today! That must be awesome getting to basically build your own website!”
“I swear I feel like a kid in a candy store doing that kind of stuff. I just find it so relaxing and exciting at the same time!”
“I totally get it. I was really impressed with how well you were able to manipulate the site’s conversion rate optimization-did you know that a site’s CRO and SEO are considered as two of the most essential tools required to run a thriving website or online business. It’s actually astounding how much the results differ between competition depending on their efficiency.”
All Y/n could do, while Spencer rambled on and on about her most passionate subjects, was sit there in complete awe. The sound of the tech-geeky words that spilled from his beautiful lips was simply orgasmic. Never had she met someone who seemed as enthused as her when it came to all her technical endeavors, and she didn’t know exactly how to react. Her biggest crush on the entire planet was sitting in front of her spouting off facts like they were going out of style.
However, amidst all the wonder that circulated through her being, confusion washed over her.
“Wait hold up! What’s going on Spence?”
“Uhhh, what do you mean?”, he questioned shyly, a blush coating his face.
Narrowing her eyes at him she expanded her questioning. “I’ve known you for months now and I can guarantee I have never once heard you mention anything even remotely technical. In fact I’ve heard you explain time and time again how confused you are by the complexities of the simplest of technology. Spill, pretty boy”, she demanded, maintaining eye contact with him.
Figuring out that he had been caught, he shyly lowered his head as the blush on his face deepened, embarrassment coursing through his veins. “I-I noticed how excited you were this morning when you came parading into the office, the wide grin that adorned your face, the skip in your step. And I heard you ramble on and on about your friend’s website and you just seemed so damn happy and then they basically just shut you down right away because they didn’t understand and I-uh I hated seeing you like that and wanted you to have someone to talk to. So I spent all day today researching and learning so you could have someone to talk to, so you wouldn’t feel alone. I-I’m sorry if that’s creepy or if it’s too-”
Spencer was suddenly cut off mid-sentence as lips smashed against his own, effectively shutting him up. His eyes immediately widened at the bold action, before he melted into the kiss, desperately responding to her fervent advances with an equal passion. 
Y/n moaned into his mouth as his tongue probed at her wet lips, begging for entry. The feeling of their tongues entangling was euphoric and they both wanted, needed more. Spencer gently grabbed her and, turning so they were both facing it, lifted her onto the desk and stood between her legs. As the kiss deepened, their hands began to tear at each other’s clothing, Y/n hastily undoing his tie and dress shirt as he all but ripped off her blouse, groaning at the sight. 
“God Y/n you’re so fucking beautiful.” He watched her eyes roll back into her head at his words as she wrapped her legs around his waist, pulling him even closer. “Please Spence, I need you. I need you so much baby.” His eyes sparkled at her desperate plea, mirroring her need wholeheartedly.
Backing away slightly he unzipped her skirt and dragged it down her legs along with her panties, quickly reaching up to also unclasp her bra. “You’ve got me baby, you’ve got me.”
She surged forward and reconnected their lips, her hands weaving their way into his hair and tugging hard. The groan that escaped his throat lit her body on fire and further ignited her need for the man in front of her. His hands, that had been cupping her face, drifted downward stooping to briefly toy with her breasts before reaching his intended destination.
She moaned loud and deep as his hands cupped her sex, gently rubbing his fingers against her. He could feel her buck her hips slightly, searching for more. Receiving the message loud and clear, he inserted his pointer finger into her, reveling in the throaty groans that poured from her lips. As he added more digits into her and gently rubbed her clit, their lips moved rapidly against each other.
Y/n needed more, letting her hands lower to the obvious bulge that was straining against his slacks, palming him incessantly. Moaning hoarsely, he pulled away and quickly undid his pants, desperate for some sort of relief. As he stepped out of his slacks and boxers, he watched her eyes widen as they took in the sight in front of her.
“Woah.” He nervously chuckled at her response.
“Uh t-thanks?”
Giggling at his uncertainty she reached out and dragged him in once again, feeling his swollen tip bump against her, both of them moaning at the euphoric feeling. Realizing how fast things had moved, he pulled back slightly to search her eyes. “Are you sure baby?”
Falling even more in love with him, her smile widened as she nodded. “I am so very sure Spence. I-I love you.” She watched the grin that spread across his face at her confession.
“God Y/n, I love you so fucking much.” As soon as the words left his mouth, he lined himself up at her entrance and swiftly thrusted into her dripping heat. The overwhelming feeling caused both of them to let out matching groans of pleasure, Y/n latching onto Spencer and wrapping her arms around his shoulders to get a grip. Once he was sure she was ok, he started slowly thrusting in and out of her, soon setting a steady pace.
“Oh Spencer! You feel so perfect inside of me! So, so good!”, you exclaimed, cries of pleasure leaving your mouth.
“Baby you’re so warm and tight around me, I love you so much!” 
“I love you t-too!”
He gradually increased his already brutal thrusts, Y/n feeling herself fastly approaching the brink of ecstasy at the hands of the resident genius. Leaning back on her elbows, Spencer used the opportunity to pound even harder into her wanting body, his own release just around the corner. 
“Are you going to cum for me pretty girl?” She couldn’t control herself after hearing his dirty words, unaware that he was capable of such a thing, feeling her eyes roll back once again. She nodded fervently, about to crash over the edge. All rational thought was out the window once his fingers found her throbbing clit, rubbing incessantly, catapulting her into her climax, her pussy clenching around his rigid cock as she came.
“Oh my god Spencer!”
Her reactions were simply too much for him, groaning and moaning uncontrollably, finding his thrusts sputtering out of control as his cock twitched deep inside of her, quickly reaching his highly anticipated orgasm. She felt his seed fill her up completely as he panted out her name over and over again, both of them coming down from their highs, breathing deeply.
“Wow. Fucking wow,” she blissfully sung, a wide grin coating her lips.
“Y/n, baby, that was insane. You’re insane.”
He helped her off the desk so they could redress and finally leave the office, noticing how late it had gotten. They couldn’t help themselves from sending each other giddy smiles as they put on their clothes and eventually made their way down to their respective cars. 
Neither one of them seemed ready to leave each other just yet, some unspoken feeling crackling in the air between them. Taking the initiative, Y/n leaned forward, gently connecting their lips in a kiss that held the same passion from earlier, but was much more relaxed and romantic. Pulling back after a few moments, Y/n’s eyes sparkled up at Spencer’s as she spoke.
“Spence, what you did earlier...no one’s ever done something like that for me. You have no idea how much it means to me that you would go out of your way just to make me feel comfortable and happy.”
“Y/n, I promise you I wanted to wholeheartedly. Nothing matters more to me than your happiness. I just-I just love you so damn much. I think I have since you walked in and dropped all your shit on the floor”, he said chuckling. 
“Heyyyy, that was one time jerk”, she defended, a matching chuckle evident in her voice. “But I know what you mean. I think I’ve loved you since you introduced yourself as Reid Doctor Spencer, that memory will forever be embedded in my mind.” She couldn’t stop the light giggle that fell from her lips at the thought of their first meeting.
Meeting her eyes, suddenly a bit shy, he gently cupped her face, “What if, from now on, I introduced myself as your boyfriend?”, he asked cautiously, anxiously waiting to see how she reacted to his proposition. Instead of answering right away she jumped forward, throwing her arms around his neck and connecting their lips once more.
“I would love nothing more, my gorgeously intelligent boyfriend.”
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spencerspecifics · 4 years ago
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Okay yes hi hello this is me gracing y’all with my writing Bc I’ve had this idea forever!! This is going to be multiple chapters, here is chapter two. Enjoy :)
~
Technical Analyst (ch.1)
~
Short description: Spencer works as a technical analyst alongside Garcia and Kevin, though he hasn’t ever really worked directly with the BAU team, he works more in filing and researching. But when Garcia goes on vacation leave, and Kevin is busy with his own work, Spencer steps up to help- and that’s when he meets Derek Morgan.
———————————————————————
Spencer hated technology. He hated computers, tablets, cell phones, he hated it all. He hated everything and anything that isn’t on printed onto paper. So how the fuck did he end up as a technical analyst- whose entire job was based around proficient use of technology? In very short, budget cuts.
He originally worked in domestic terrorism, though he never fit in well there. He was a good worker, fast and able to do a lot. But his coworkers never let him feel included. He would hear them make plans without him, ignore him in conversations, only reaching out to him for his great memory to help solve a case. It was dehumanizing. He was just a brain for them, nothing more.
Then, the budget cuts came. And he got removed from the team, as he had the least amount of hours in the field- which wasn’t his fault. The rest of his team always forced him into the research position, so while they were off chasing the bad guys, he was stuck researching with a computer he doesn’t trust.
So yeah, he wasn’t an asset to them. But the bureau knew a mind like his in general was an asset, a fountain they’d like to keep a tap on. So they made work for him. It was mostly menial. He would assist with intense cases when necessary, but even then it was just research. No one knew what he would be like in the field, because they never gave him the chance.
Spencer tried not to think about how unfair this was, how stupid and purely tedious it was. He would rather be working as a T.A. at this point- which wouldn’t even be that bad. At least he gets heard and seen then.
~
Spencer’s normal day consists of going from his apartment to the bureau building, to directly into his cramped little office that was about the size of a jumbo walk in closet. A nice size to store clothes, but not so nice when you have to have a person, a desk, a chair, three computer monitors, two filing cabinents, a trash can, a fax machine, and a printer all crammed in there.
Yeah, his workplace was entirely too small. Thankfully it didn’t impact his ability to work, though, most the time Spencer finished his work quickly; and would end up reading. Spencer didn’t venture out from his office that much at all, (he always brought his own coffee so he didn’t have to worry about bugging the field agents.) the exception to leaving his office was to go across the hall to Penelope Garcia, his only sort of friend that he had at work. She was always so bubbly, it was a breath of relief for him to go see her- she reminded him of all the positive things, he definitely couldn’t do the job without her.
Not to mention, she had to train him from starting point zero. Spencer hated technology, after all. So he never made an effort to learn coding, hacking, how to re-route and track things. He knew nothing like that, hell, he struggles with his cellphone turning on sometimes.
Thankfully, she was able to get some sense into him, and he was pretty good at what he could do. Though he was still working out python coding, he was enjoying the learning process of using technology.
That being said- he still despises technology, and he hopes that once he leaves the job, he can throw away his very unnecessary but work mandated laptop.
~
Spencer made his way into the bureau building, messenger bag slung over his shoulder awkwardly as a thermos of coffee was held tightly in his right hand, while the left one reached for the door handle to enter. He got in no problem, security didn’t stop him anymore, thankfully. Though in the beginning, they did check him constantly, verifying that he belonged there. After all, he looked young, and he definitely didn’t belong in the bureau building. But then again, Garcia didn’t look like she belonged there either.
Security just made presumptions about people, he shrugged that thought off as he made his way to the elevator. Thankfully no one else was in there, he pressed the button for floor six, and the elevator doors shut.
The elevator whirred to life, taking him up to the sixth floor slowly. Thankfully today was a slow day, there wasn’t really any important case he had to work on. (Not like he ever really got given cases to work on, anyways.) So Spencer was hoping he would be able to finish his work quickly, as he had some books he brought with him that he wanted to read and re-read before the day was finished.
The elevator dinged, a signal it had reached its necessary location, before the doors finally slid back. He stepped out, taking his usual left down the hallway immediately. Forward through the glass doors was the bullpen with the agents who worked in the BAU. And god, what he wouldn’t give to be a field agent, working as a profiler. That’s why he wanted to join the bureau, and yet he was so close- his office only down the hall. But he was simultaneously so far, not being trusted by all the bureaucratic bosses, who didn’t know if he would be a good agent to warrant being put out into the field.
He hated it, but he tried not to think about it as he reached his office, Garcia’s door was shut, she was on vacation, or so he had heard. Spencer pulled on his office door, entering with ease as he moved into the cramped workspace.
Spencer sat his messenger bag down onto his desk, sitting himself down in his office chair and taking a minute to breathe in and out before continuing. Spencer hated this job. It was mind numbingly boring, he was so close to quitting. He knew the bureau would fight tooth and nail to keep him, however, but if that was the case, why not give him a better job- he didn’t want a nicer office, he wanted to help people.
He sighed, today was just one of those days where he was extra mad about not being treated right, he tried to ignore this thought process as he got ready to work; setting his coffee down by his computer mouse to his right, setting his messenger bag onto the floor next to him, pulling off the scarf that was wrapped loosely around his neck and hanging it over the back of his chair. Now he was ready for the day.
~
Penelope didn’t mean to forget to tell the team that she was going to be gone- she assumed they knew. At least Hotch did, all the rest of them knew was that she was going to take a week off to relax, they just didn’t know when (she had too many vacation days saved up, so she had to use them or lose them. She chose the former.) It was just a total brain fart moment on her part, so while she decided to hit up her favorite stores, spas, and websites; the team had no idea, they assumed she was holed up in her office, hacking away at whatever she normally does.
This would only show itself when Derek needed her, calling her office number and it going to voicemail “Hi, this is Penelope Garcia with the FBI and I’m too awesome to come to the phone right now, if it’s an urgent matter please call Aaron Hotchner-“ yeah, Derek hung up his phone by then, deciding to call her personal cell.
“Hi, hot chocolate!” She answered cheerfully, the sounds of people talking and laughing could be heard in the background, which Derek took note of. “Babygirl- your work phone sent me to voicemail, where are you?” Garcia was quiet for a second, before practically blowing Morgan’s eardrums out; “Oh- damnit! I knew I was forgetting something!” “Care to fill me in?” He asked her curiously, “Yes-“ Garcia sighed before continuing on, “Sorry. I’m taking those vacation days Hotch told me I had to use or else I’d lose.”
“So you’re not at the office.” He stated, “That I am not, I’m sorry I forgot to tell you! But my pal Spencer Reid should be covering for me.” “Spencer Reid?” Derek asked, unfamiliar with that person, “Why not kevin?” “Ugh, I don’t know- he’s doing that thing where he’s actually busy with other work for once. But Spencer is good, I taught him everything he knows- and I’m pretty sure he’s got three PhDs, so yeah, you replaced one genius with another- so don’t worry!” “Okay, well...” Derek took a second, “You sure I can ask Spencer about everything I’d ask you?” He meant work related, within being able to hack and get everything that Garcia would be able to get. Because Morgan knew that her talents were very special, and having someone else replicate them seemed near impossible, so he was a bit hesitant to trust someone new.
“Oh yeah- he’ll find everything easy peasy lemon squeezy. Don’t worry yourself, sugar.” “Okay, thank you mama. Have a good week of rest.” “I will! I have an appointment for a spa, and oh my god Derek- they do a seaweed wrap thing, isn’t that crazy?” “So you’re gonna get rolled up like sushi?” “No! Ew! Don’t compare me to raw fish!”
The phone call continued for a bit after that, as Derek wasn’t in an urgent matter. It was just a filing day at the office, before he hung up he asked where Spencer was, though; “Oh, he’s in the office next to mine, across the hall!” Garcia told him happily. Derek had thought that was a storage closet, but he didn’t tell her- instead thanking her and hanging up.
Now to pay this mystery computer whiz a visit.
~
Spencer was in the middle of re-routing a bunch of information that Garcia needed to send to her boss, Aaron Hotchner. Spencer didn’t share the same boss, since he was technically working in a more basic division of the bureau, he instead answered to Strauss- which was a royal pain in the ass, but he always turned his work in on time, came in when needed, he had never had to face her wrath yet, thankfully.
Spencer typed away, trying to get all the data to get to Hotchner as quickly as possible so he didn’t have to wait, though it wasn’t crucial the work did get completed right now. Spencer just liked to get things done.
A knock sounded Spencer out of his methodical typing, it wasn’t Garcia, obviously. And he knew Kevin was in a meeting right now with some IT people over his keyboard acting funky (Kevin could fix it by himself, but office administration forced him into talking to IT.)
“Yes?” Spencer asked curiously, turning around in his office chair, because he had no clue who it was that could be interrupting his work. The door pushed open, revealing a tall, classically handsome, muscular man carrying some files in his hands. Fuck, that would be Spencer’s luck. An attractive guy swooping in and making his IQ of one hundred and eighty seven go down to sixty in two second flat
“Hi- you Spencer?” The man asked, stepping forward into the cramped office. Spencer stood up instinctively, “Yes, I am. How can I help you?” The man handed the files over awkwardly, “I’m sorry, I usually ask Penelope Garcia for this but she’s on vacation and she referred me to you- I just need these put through VICAP, I’m not too familiar with the system as a whole, ‘cause Garcia usually handles it.”
Spencer nodded, taking the files and looking through them briefly, there were nine of them. “I’m sorry, I know that’s a lot of work to do... I’m sure I can figure it out myself-“ Derek started, doing his best to apologize. Little did he know Spencer could get this done within an hour or so.
“Oh no- not a problem at all, this should only take me about an hour, two at most, but that’s a generous estimate.” Derek raised his eyebrows, “An hour or two? Garcia usually finishes up this many files within three or four. How are you able to get this done faster than her?”
“I have an eidetic memory, which helps me recall anything that I read. I can read these files once and put all the information into VICAP knowing it’s accuracy is one hundred percent without having to double check, that cuts down my speed by half per case file.”
Derek looked confused and shocked. Yeah, Spencer could understand why. “Sorry, um. That’s a weird explanation, but it shouldn’t take me as long. I’m assuming you’re out in the bullpen?” Spencer asked him, putting the files down atop his keyboard.
“Yeah, I’m Derek Morgan with the BAU.” Derek finally introduced himself, reaching his hand out. Shit, this was Derek Morgan? Garcia has mentioned him a few times to Spencer, saying he’d love him “oh he’s so handsome, but so sweet and loving, like the hottest man on earth- I’d marry him in a heartbeat, but we don’t roll like that, Y’know?” That’s how she described him once, and of course Spencer remembered that word for word. Spencer felt like it was just his luck, that his only work colleague was best friends with a man so attractive that his mind isn’t working fully.
Not to mention he was in the BAU, Spencer guessed he was, since Garcia was their technical analyst. But still, it would be just his luck to know this insanely attractive man was part of the team he wanted to belong to so bad. Spencer wasn’t sure how to respond as he kept his composure. After all, yeah, Derek was attractive. But they probably wouldn’t speak again after this exchange. It wasn’t worth Spencer thinking about him, or how Garcia described him.
“I’m sorry, I don’t shake. But it’s nice to meet you, I’ll find you once I’m done. If you need anymore help, feel free to let me know.” Spencer told him, looking back at the files on his desk as a distraction away from this hot guy that was just standing so calmly in his office, as if Spencer ever had any visitors into the cramped space besides Garcia and Kevin.
By the time spencer looked back up, Derek’s arm was back down by his side. “Okay, thank you.”
~
Derek was surprised by their exchange, to say the least. How did he not know about this genius before? How was he not more well known, a memory thing, three PhD’s- that would be a useful asset? How come he was hidden away in a closet sized office? He had to know more. Even if it was nosy and stupid.
Normally, he’d call Garcia and ask her if it was about an employee. But in this case, he couldn’t. And he couldn’t go to Spencer, that would be weird.
So, he did the next best thing. He asked Hotch.
~
He knocked slowly on Hotchner’s door, hoping he wasn’t going to tell him to mind his business and not ask about employee facts when they definitely were irrelevant.
Derek was smart though, he figured out a foolproof way to play this. So when Hotch said, “Yes?” He came in, starting his plan into motion.
“Hotch, where’s Garcia?” He asked him, as if Derek hadn’t immediately checked up on his babygirl when he couldn’t find her. “Oh,” Hotch started, setting a file down that he had been looking over, “She took some vacation time.”
“So, who am I supposed to go to for computer help?” Derek asked, “Well,” Hotchner started, matter of factly, while he reached for a thin, unopened file on his desk. “We have a new guy helping us. Kevin’s busy with helping the child abduction unit reset their computers, as well as he’s in an IT meeting right now, so we have..” Hotch stopped, looking down to read the name off the file; “Doctor Spencer Reid. I’m sure he’ll be just as good.”
“Hotch. No ones as good as Garcia.” Derek pointed out, Hotch shrugged. “Maybe not. But this guy has a glowing personal history- and Garcia told me she taught him everything he knows.”
“What’s his personal history?” Derek asked curiously, stepping a bit closer but still trying to play nonchalance. “You know I’m not able to disclose that. You can go ask him for yourself.” Derek sighed. Of course Hotch wasn’t gonna tell him shit. He should’ve expected this. But sue him, call him hopeful. He was hoping he could’ve gotten some information on this mysterious doctor.
~
Derek made his defeated way back to his desk in the bullpen. And Emily, whose desk was directly across from his, immediately noticed his slight annoyance at Hotch. So she asked in a hushed voice as soon as he sat down;
“Did you get yelled at by Hotch?” Because in her mind, that was the most logical explanation that made the most sense. Derek just shook his head as a response, “No,” he clarified, “I was asking about our Garcia fill-in, and Hotch wouldn’t tell me anything.”
“Garcia fill-in? She’s gone?” Emily asked confusedly looking back to the hallway that led to Penelope’s office, as if she’d magically appear. “Yeah, but just for the week.” Derek explained, “She’s using those vacation days she had saved up. And Kevin isn’t our standby, ‘cause he’s busy. Instead it’s some new guy.”
“Who?” Prentiss asked, this time she was curious. And as if on cue, Dr. Spencer Reid came through the glass doors, and into the bullpen, carrying Morgan’s stack of files.
“Him.” Morgan pointed back simply as a response as he waved Spencer over.
~
To say Spencer felt out of his element by being in the BAU bullpen was an understatement, he felt like a fish out of water. Like he was suffocating and everything around him was too much.
He purposely avoided the bullpen, first reason being because he didn’t have any work with the BAU. But the second reason was he knew if he stepped in, he’d be more upset that he couldn’t be on the team. And the last thing he wanted to do was make his job worse for himself.
But, this experience was an outlier. And though Spencer can remember almost anything and everything, he planned on doing his best to purposely forget all of this. Every last detail.
He wasn’t going to let himself remember how there were field agents with real life guns holstered at their sides, how they were all sitting casually, looking over cases and drinking coffee, how they had the title of SSA (he only had SA, which he still was bitter about.), and then how at a moments notice they could fly away in a jet. How astonishing their work is, how jealous he is.
But Spencer entered through the glass doors nonetheless, looking around quickly before seeing Derek wave him over. Derek was sat at his desk, talking to a woman whose head was turned away from Spencer, all he could see was that she was his desk mate, and that she had black hair.
Spencer made his way over at a brisk pace, he just needed to get in and out. If he stayed for too long, he’d let himself remember to much.
“Hey, I- I got these into VICAP no problem,“ Spencer started as he handed Derek the case files, “But I noticed some errors on the date stamping on when you found the unsub so I corrected it myself, I hope you don’t mind.”
Derek shook his head casually, “Not a problem at all, I have a habit of messing that up. Thanks doc.” Fuck, ‘doc’? Spencer hadn’t been called ‘doctor’ in months, let alone ‘doc’. This was turning into a tailspin moment for him as he smiled awkwardly, feeling a blush rising to his face, he wasn’t sure what else to do. But he wanted to get out of there.
Thankfully, the woman with black hair introduced herself, as once he had rounded the corner to see Derek, he also saw her face. She was pretty, and had bangs. “Hi, I don’t think we’ve met. I’m Emily Prentiss.” She reached her hand over to shake Reid’s expectantly, “Oh I-“ Reid started, hands down at his sides, he wasn’t going to move them.
“He doesn’t shake, Prentiss.” Derek explained casually, “Oh,” Emily said, dropping her hand down, “Sorry! It’s still good to meet you, though. So I hear you’re covering for Garcia?” She asked Spencer, who nodded as he pushed a piece of hair back behind his ear.
“Yeah she’s taking vacation time, and Kevin is currently busy with helping the child abduction unit. So I’ll be you technical analyst for the next week or so.”
“I’m sorry, but how long have you been with the bureau? You look really young. I don’t mean to be rude I’m just-“ “You’re really asking him the rudest possible question, though, huh?” Derek joked to her, and she just smacked him on the arm lightly before turning her attention back to Spencer.
“No you’re fine to ask I- um, I’ve been with the bureau a year and a half, but originally I was on the domestic terrorism field unit.” He explained shortly, he didn’t wanna go into how he got on the bureau to begin with, or how he left the domestic terrorism unit. All he wanted to do was have this conversation end, or else it would just be that much harder to forget.
“Domestic terrorism? So how do you end up doing technical analyst work?” Derek butted in curiously, up until now it has been Prentiss asking all the questions.
Spencer stayed quiet for a moment, before finally responding, “If you need anything else, my office is next to Garcia’s. It’s been nice meeting you, Emily.” All he gave to Derek was a curt nod before walking out at the brisk pace he had entered with.
~
“Wow, well you fucked that up.” Prentiss spoke to Derek once she saw Spencer exiting through the glass doors, and turning down the hallway.
He sighed and rolled his eyes at her, “I’m just curious about him, can you blame me?” Emily just chuckled softly in return, shaking her head as she turned her chair around to face him more head on.
“Are you curious about him because he’s cute, or because he’s replacing Garcia for the week?” Derek blinked at her in surprise; “I never said he was cute.” He protested, more confused than anything else.
“You didn’t say it, but your body language did. You think he’s cute. You called him ‘doc’ and he almost blushed, and I have a feeling you’re gonna try and call him ‘doc’ again to see that same result- and you watched him the entire time, even if I was talking.”
“You think random bureau agents are cute all the time, what’s it matter?” Derek rebutted, trying to deflect and ignore, because Prentiss wasn’t making sense. Derek wasn’t attracted to Spencer, he didn’t think he was cute. Spencer’s level of attractiveness had nothing to do with his curiosity.
Derek did have a right to be curious for other reasons, anyways. This guy was replacing Garcia for a bit. It made sense Derek would wanna know more about the guy, even if he was or wasn’t attractive.
“Yeah, I find agents cute. But I don’t go asking Hotch about them.” Prentiss said with a smirk, Derek just shot her a glare. “I asked Hotch because he’s replacing Garcia. And I’ve not heard of the guy before.”
“Whatever you say, man.” Was all Emily replied with as she turned back to her work, Derek just rolled his eyes at her again before turning to his own computer.
Okay, so he knew Spencer was in domestic terrorism. It couldn’t hurt to just search it up, right? It wasn’t anything classified, he’d be able to see it, Derek hoped. He wasn’t meaning to be nosy, but he was just so curious and confused. He just had to know more.
———————————————————————
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sheerfreesia007 · 3 years ago
Text
Finding Love In Legacy Oaks pt. 11
Title: Finding Love In Legacy Oaks pt. 11
Fandom: Kingsman
Pairing: Agent Whiskey x OFC
Author: @sheerfreesia007​
Words: 7,484
Warnings: Mention of injury
Permanent Tag List: @paintballkid711, @fioccodineveautunnale, @phoenixhalliwell, @linkpk88, @weirdowithnobeardo
Author Notes: So Bunny’s life isn’t all rainbow and sunshine, I’m just trying to write relatable things into this story and loved the idea of this happening to Bunny. There’s a method to madness for putting Bunny through a little bit of pain. Jack opens up a little bit about his family finally! We get a bit of family history from both Bunny and Jack. I can’t wait to show you how I draw these two idiots closer together! Hope you enjoy!
Gif Credit: Google
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Blinking her eyes rapidly Bunny sighed softly and rubbed at them feeling how strained and tired they were. Quickly saving her work on her laptop she closes down the web design program and powers down her laptop closing the lid. She turns in her desk chair and spots Butter sleeping in the plush dog bed that she keeps in her office, his tongue as always hanging out of his mouth as he lays on his back with his feet in the air. She chuckled softly, shaking her head as she heard him snore loudly from his comfortable spot. Just then her cellphone began ringing and she saw that Jack was calling her. Furrowing her eyebrows she answered the call and pressed the phone to her ear.
“Hey Jack, everything alright?” she greeted him and heard his soft warm chuckle on the other side of the phone.
“Hey Bunny, everything’s good. Just got a few moments to kill, you got time to just chat?” he asks warmly and Bunny can feel a warmth start to develop in her chest at the idea that he just wanted to call her to talk. Brining one foot up to rest on the desk chair she leans back and gets comfortable in the chair.
“Of course, you’ve got impeccable timing Jack.” Bunny replied with a soft chuckle.
“Work dragging you down?” he asked curiously and Bunny could hear shifting in the background on his end of the call, he was probably getting comfortable himself.
“Not dragging me down, but I’ve been staring at my laptop screen for the last few hours and it’s starting to do a number on my eyes. Thankfully I was able to get a good chunk of this project planned and mapped out.” She explained easily as she snuggled further into her desk feeling the cushions sink and surround her.
“Does that normally take a long time to get done?” Jack asks and Bunny is was pleasantly surprised at his questions, normally people didn’t really care to learn about the process of designing a website.
“Depending on what the client actually wants it could take a few hours to code the links and pages to open the right way. But normally it takes about half a day to plan and map out the website.” Bunny explained in layman terms so that she wouldn’t confuse him.
“And what’s the next step after that?” Jack asked curiously. Bunny smiled as she thought about the next part of the project that she would have to work on, it was her favorite part.
“Designing the face of the website. See the planning and mapping of the website is the background work, it’s how the website is coded to work. If you click on a link and it brings you to another page that’s the mapping part of it. The design is how it looks to the client. I can make it look a certain way based on what the client has requested.” Bunny explained passionately as she started getting even more comfortable in the conversation about her work.
“What was the most outlandish website you’ve been asked to design?” Jack asks with a soft chuckle and Bunny sits for a minute to think.
“I had a client come to me and request a website be made for his young daughter. Apparently she wanted a place to be able to post all about her latest obsessions. But there was no rhyme or reason to the website, random music played on different pages and the mouse would be different shapes for different pages. And it would randomly have sparkles falling like snow on the pages. Think of that Myspace era and dial it up to thousand percent. That project gave me so many headaches I think I invested in the aspirin companies.” Bunny explained with a groan and Jack laughed loudly on the other end of the phone call.
“Oh goodness, I remember those fads. They were horrible now that we’re well past them. I’m lucky that Es wasn’t old enough for that back then otherwise I’d be tortured by all of that. What was your favorite website design?” he said as he still chuckled.
“Oh yeah she’d have loved all of that stuff. What with her love of sparkle I’m surprised she hasn’t gotten you just let her glitter her whole room.” Bunny laughed happily and Jack scoffed softly.
“Don’t you dare give her that idea! She’s already tried to convince me to let her get more sparkly items for her room. I think my eyes are constantly blinded whenever I have to walk into or even past it. Bunny, too much sparkle.” Jack bemoaned to her and Bunny burst into laughter.
“Alright, alright I won’t mention glitter to her.” Bunny conceded as she laughed delightedly. She grinned as a lull in the conversation happened naturally and they both calmed a little.
“So favorite project?” Jack asked again. And Bunny grinned as she remembered her favorite project that she worked on.
“I have an annual client who comes to me to design her family reunion website. Nice elderly lady with a very large family, I’m talking like the last reunion two years ago had I think twenty grandkids. She normally contacts me in the beginning of spring to start designing the website so that it’s ready for early summer and their reunion is towards the end of the summer. It’s a week-long event for them where they go to the family lake cabin and just spend the week doing boating activities, there’s competitions between each branch of the family and there’s nightly outdoor movies and bonfires. It’s a lovely affair and all their pictures are so funny to see when she sends them to me to place on the website. It’s my favorite project because she’s such a sweet woman and I love listening to all her stories she tells me.” Bunny said warmly as she leaned further into her desk fondly remembering all the conversations she’s had with the woman.
“Have you ever met her in person?” Jack asks curiously and Bunny’s smile falters a little bit. “I only ask because you sound like she’s gotten close to you after being a client for a while.”
“Yes, I’ve worked with her for about five years now and have met with her in person every year while working with her on the websites. We usually go out to a long lunch and just spend the day talking about life and how we’ve been and also about the project. She’s truly a wonderful woman and she’s become kind of like a surrogate mom to me since mine lives so far away. But her family reunions are always fun to hear about and all the crazy adventures they get into.” Bunny says wistfully.
“You like the outdoors Bunny?” Jack asked warmly and Bunny grins widely at the question.
“I do, my family was always big on camping when I was growing up and while I don’t get to go as much now I still love to go camping and hiking. Butter and I have done a few mountain hiking trails together.” Bunny said fondly as she remembers her adventures with Butter.
“No way! Butter can hike? I’m surprised that little sausage roll can make it up your steps every day.” Jack teases and Bunny laughs into the phone.
“It’s all fur, don't let that fiend fool you.” Bunny said in a quiet confession and Jack laughed happily.
“Do you like outdoor activities?” Bunny asked curiously and Jack’s laughter faded in her ear.
“I do but it’s a little different than your idea of outdoors. My family back in Kentucky owns a large farm and I grew up there. Worked on the farm until I went to college and whenever I had a break I would come back home and help out when I could. Unfortunately when I started my career in security I wasn’t able to come home as often and help out. But the family still has the farm and it’s prospering so they’re all doing well for themselves.” Jack explained easily and Bunny nodded her head loving that he was actually sharing some information about himself with her. “We used to go out into the pasture a lot during the summers and sleep under the stars with a small campfire. It’s one of my favorite memories about the farm and my siblings.” Jack confessed warmly and Bunny felt that warmth that had started to grow in her chest began to spread and consume her body as she listened to Jack talk about his family’s farm.
“Do you have a lot of siblings?” Bunny asked, wanting to keep the conversation going and gather as much information about Jack as she was able to. He was still a mystery to her and while she knew he was a good man and cared greatly for his daughter she still didn’t know much about him. She wanted to begin a friendship that could hopefully turn into something so much more. And while they had begun flirting and teasing each other Bunny was ready to wait to see how this relationship blossomed. After the hell that she had been put through by her ex-husband Bunny was more than happy to wait and see how a relationship now panned out.
“I’ve got two sisters, one older that’s Rebecca or Becca. She's I think a year or two older than me. Then there’s Amelia, she’s the younger one, she’s five years younger. And finally there’s the baby of the family Will, he’s the youngest but don’t tell him that sometimes he acts like the oldest out of the four of us.” Jack replied easily and Bunny could hear the affection full in his tone over the phone. She could easily tell that he loved and cared deeply for his siblings. She smiled softly as she nodded her head. “What about you? Is it just you and your sister?” Jack asked.
“Actually I’ve got three siblings. There’s Sasha that you know about, she was adopted when I was eight and she’s two years younger than me, she’s the only one of us who’s got kids. Then there’s Jake, he was adopted when I was eleven he’s three years younger. And Freddie is five years younger than me and he was adopted when I was sixteen.” Bunny said smiling as she thought back to when her siblings were adopted and the parties that were thrown.
“So you’ve been through the adoption process?” Jack asks curiously and Bunny has to stomp down the urge and desire to be Esme’s mom that she had the other night at the sleepover.
“Yeah it was a bit hectic as a kid because my parents fostered a lot of kids while growing up and it was both good and bad. The kids that we were fostering, some had some serious mental health issues, like Sasha she has horrendous panic attacks and anxiety attacks all throughout her foster life with us. She still gets it sometimes but they’re not as severe she’s told me. And Freddie has bipolar disorder that he’s managing with a team of doctors, he’s got his good days and then he’s got some really bad days. I check up on him a couple times a month just to see how he’s doing and if he needs anything.” Bunny explained feeling a dull achy pain in her chest as she talked about her siblings’ mental issues. She hated seeing them troubled and if she could take away their pain she would in a heartbeat, Sasha and Freddie were the best type of people and the fact that they had to deal with these issues pained Bunny. She knew they were dealt a hard life but she hoped that by joining her family they had found some sort of peace, and while they had told her this before she hoped it was true.
“Wow, I didn’t realize that the foster kids your parents helped were dealing with those types of issues.” Jack said solemnly.
“Yeah there were others who needed more help than my parents could offer or give and those were the ones that were either placed with another foster family or the state government eventually took custody of them. They became a ward of the state.” Bunny explained softly.
“Well I’m hoping they got the necessary care they needed wherever they ended up.” Jack said in a calm, easing voice.
“I do too.” Bunny replied easily before her mind turned back to Esme once more and the sleepover fiasco was in the forefront of her brain again. “Hey while we’re talking about this stuff. I-uh wanted to let you know that Es had a run in with Cynthia and it wasn’t pretty.” Bunny began to explain. She took a breath in and heard absolute silence on the other end of the call and for a moment she thought the call had dropped. She began to move the phone away from her ear to check when she heard Jack’s deadly calm voice speak up.
“What did Cynthia do to Esme?” he asked in such a harsh cold tone that Bunny physically shivered in her seat.
“Es got caught up in all the excitement with the other girls at the sleepover and called me Mom in front of everyone. Cynthia heard and was a bit of a nasty witch to her and to be honest I can’t remember the exact words because I only saw red and ripped her a new one for her shit talking, but anyway she said something about needing to talk to you about her hanging out with me too much that she was thinking I was her mom.” Bunny explained in a rush as she felt the white hot blind rage she felt after Cynthia snapped at Esme.
“Easy Bunny, easy.” Jack said softly and Bunny took in a deep breath before letting it out slowly. “Es called you mom?” Jack asked quietly and Bunny felt her heart clench suddenly at his question.
“She did. And Jack I don’t mind one bit. She just got caught up in the chaotic energy the girls were causing and it was just a slip of the tongue. Honest.” Bunny said quickly to try and ease him if he was having second thoughts of her being around Esme so much. “And I talked to Es about it. Told her it’s no big deal and that I’d be lucky to have her as a kid. But I told her what Cynthia said was uncalled for and that she didn’t have to listen to her since she was mean to Es.”
Bunny felt uneasy as if she was rambling as she tried to explain to Jack what had happened the other night and as the silence fell over the phone conversation she felt her anxiety skyrocket inside her. She tried to wait patiently for Jack to say something but when he didn’t say anything after a while she sighed softly, figuring that he’d want to put a stop to them spending so much time together.
“I understand if you don’t want me watching her anymore or taking her to yoga.” Bunny said softly and dejectedly.
“Now hang on.” Jack said suddenly and confidently. “That’s not at all what I want.” Bunny heard his firm words and she felt hope unfurl in her chest making her breath catch silently. “You have been the best thing that has happened to both Esme and myself. You’ve helped me out so much with watching her for me. And Esme has had a rough time making friends in her new neighborhood and school but you’ve done wonders for her confidence that she now has a few friends. Bunny you not being in our lives is the last thing I would want.” Jack stated vehemently and Bunny felt tears prick at her eyes. “I’m more upset that Cynthia had the nerve to say something to Es about calling you mom. I can’t believe that woman.” He said honestly and Bunny sighed softly as she nodded her head.
“Yeah Cynthia I think has it in her head that the two of you are becoming a hot item.” Bunny said thoughtfully and Jack scoffed over the phone.
“She’s married Bunny.” Jack lamented softly to her and Bunny nodded her head at his words.
“I know that, but I don’t think she cares. Ever since I’ve met her she’s always been looking for the next best thing for herself.” Bunny said truthfully.
“She’s always been like this? It’s not just because of me?” Jack asked seriously and Bunny smirked softly, seeing an opportunity for her.
“You’re handsome Jack but you’re no Mark Strong.” Bunny teased him as she grinned widely.
“Oh ho! So you dig the older men huh Bunny?” Jack teased right back and Bunny blushed deeply.
“What can I say, he's dreamy.” Bunny said dismissively and Jack laughed softly.
“Well now I know who my competition is then.” Jack said sultrily and Bunny felt desire jolt down her spine making her gasp softly.
“C-competition?” she stuttered out softly before she heard muffled talking in the background on Jack’s end of the phone call. She could hear Jack responding to whoever was with him distantly as her mind began to race with the thought that Jack was competing for her affection.
“Hey listen Bunny I’ve got to get goin’. Thanks for taking my call and chattin’ with me. Tell Es I’ll give her a call at dinner time alright?” Jack said and Bunny let out her breath slowly through her nose.
“Yeah of course. I’ll let her know. I’ve gotta start getting ready to go get her from the bus stop anyway. We’ll talk to you then.” Bunny began to quickly ramble and she cringed softly as she heard his soft chuckle.
“And yes competition. Can’t let a Brit git one over the good ol’ American boy. Talk to you later Bunny.” Jack said in a low gravelly tone that made Bunny suddenly tense with arousal as she heard his tone and words. And then the line was hung up.
Huffing softly she slouched in her chair and pulled the phone from her ear slowly. Setting it down on the desk gently she turned and saw Butter was still passed out in his bed. Running a hand through her hair Bunny sighed softly.
“That man’s got a seductive tongue.” She said softly to the quiet office and Butter huffed in his sleep making her chuckle softly. “You said it Butter.”
*-*-*-*
As soon as Esme walked down the bus steps Bunny could tell that she was feeling down. Tilting her head to the side she watched as Esme walked down the sidewalk towards. The two older girls from the last bullying instance were walking behind her giggling and whispering to each other and Bunny felt rage rush her body with red hot anger. The girls looked up from Esme’s back and both instantly stopped talking as they spotted Bunny glaring at them.
“Girls.” Bunny said stiffly as Esme came to a stop next to her and the girls both gulped silently before one hesitantly let out a smile before the two made a dash for their houses. Bunny sighed softly and looked down at Esme who was dejectedly scuffing her sneakers on the sidewalk. “Bad day at school?” Bunny asked softly.
Esme shrugged her shoulders and continued to scuff her sneakers on the sidewalk. Butter looked up at Esme curiously before head-butting her calf with his head. Esme moved a little bit before stepping to the side to avoid Butter doing that again.
“Yep, bad day at school. Why don’t we go for a walk and if you wanna talk I’m all ears. If not, it's no big deal.” Bunny said softly as she looked down at Esme. Esme shrugged her shoulders once more and Bunny nodded her head before gently holding out her hand for Esme. The little girl took a hold of it after a moment's pause and Bunny began leading her and Butter towards the main park area of the community.
The three of them walked in silence and Bunny kept her head held high not wanting to constantly look down at Esme. She was worried it’d upset the little girl more if she constantly tried to check in with her. As the three of them finish crossing the street to the park area Esme starts to slowly perk up.
“Hey Bunny?” she asks suddenly and Bunny hides her smile as much as she possibly can and looks down at the little girl at her side.
“What’s up Es?” Bunny answers in a question and Esme smiles softly at her.
“Have you ever called someone Mom who wasn’t your mom?” Esme asks softly and Bunny nods her head adamantly.
“Oh yeah! So many women.” Bunny said with wide eyes and Esme giggled softly. “I’ve called a bunch of my teachers in school Mom. Let’s see who else, oh! I called Molly’s mom that once and she wouldn’t let me live it down. Wouldn’t stop insisting she was my mom now. And then there was that time that I accidentally called Mr. Quinten dad and it was a whole big thing with him.” Bunny confessed as she sighed and rolled her eyes. Esme giggled brightly as she walked next to Bunny as she began to skip alongside her. “Look Es, there’s nothing wrong with calling someone Mom. It happens all the time.” Bunny stressed earnestly as she stopped walking and bent down to Esme’s level.
“Really?” asked the little girl as she looked at Bunny with a lost expression on her face.
“Yep. Sometimes we just forget where we are and the name just comes out. Other times we see the person we called Mom as a mother figure. It just means that you see that person as someone who you can trust and go to for anything. And I’ll let you in on a secret, come here.” Bunny said surreptitiously as she gestured Esme closer to her. “It means so much to me that you could think of me like that. And I will do my best to be there for you no matter what, understand? You’re stuck with me kiddo.” She said fondly as she nudged Esme under her chin making her giggle. Just then Esme launched herself against Bunny and Bunny caught her easily in her arms holding her close to her.
“Thanks Bunny.” Esme whispered softly.
“Any time kiddo. Any time.” Bunny said softly into the little girl’s hair. “Now what do you say to go for a walk and just hang out before we crack down on homework and then dinner?” Bunny asked hopefully that the little girl was feeling a little bit better.
“Yeah! Oh can we roll down that hill over there?” Esme asked, suddenly excited as she pointed to the medium sized hill that obscured the soccer field from view. Bunny shrugged her shoulders before grinning at Esme and taking off with Butter running besides her.
“Beat you to the top!” Bunny called and Esme shrieked with indignation as she began running as quickly as her little legs could carry her after Bunny.
“You cheated!” Esme cried as she began chasing after Bunny.
“Only if I win!” Bunny called over her shoulder laughing heartily before she began huffing dramatically as Esme caught up to her. Esme giggled as Butter barked chaotically at Bunny’s side as if he was trying to get her to pick up her pace. Once Bunny saw Esme pass her she began to overtly huff and puff as she chased the little girl up the hill.
“I win!” called Esme and began to dance in celebration as she reached the top before Bunny. Bunny made a show of bending over and gasping for breath which made Esme laugh harder. Butter hopped around Bunny barking at her and Bunny laughed softly at the dog as he did his best impression of an angry coach. “Ok, ok. Let’s do this!” cried Esme happily as she threw her back pack to the ground and began to lower herself down to the ground at the top of the hill.
“Alright you go first and then when you come up I’ll go.” Bunny instructed and Esme looked up at her gleefully. “What? You thought I wouldn’t roll down a hill? I’ll have you know I’m an expert roller.” Bunny said self-importantly and Esme burst into happy laughter before she shook her head.
“Bunny!” The little girl drew out the name in an exasperated tone and Bunny laughed softly before gesturing for Esme to go. Butter began to bark excitedly and was jumping around Bunny’s legs as Esme prepped herself to roll down the hill.
“Alright I’m gonna time ya. On your mark!” Bunny called happily and Butter began to jump more furiously around her. “Get set!” was the next call out and Esme prepared to begin rolling as Butter began barking like crazy. “Go!” called Bunny and instantly realized her mistake as Esme began rolling down the hill at a moderate speed.
Suddenly Bunny’s legs were knocked out from underneath herself as Butter took off down the hill dragging Bunny along after him. Shrieking in surprise Bunny heard a distinct crack and felt the back of her head bounce on the ground when she met the ground. Groaning in pain she raised her hand to her head before feeling her arm being jerked after Butter as he dashed down the hill after Esme. Bunny felt every hit with the ground as Butter dragged her down the hill and she moaned softly as he finally came to a stop at the base of the hill.
“Bunny!” cried Esme worriedly and Bunny peeked one eye open to stare over at the little girl as she got up and rushed over to her. Bunny could feel the aches in her body from when she had collided with the ground. Gritting her teeth and hissing softly as she shifted on the ground trying to sit up.
“I’m okay Es. Butter just got a little too excited.” Bunny began to reassure Esme as she saw the little girl’s face filled with worry and concern. Bunny set her hand down on the ground and moved to sit up on the grass. Hissing in pain Bunny quickly pulled her wrist up to her chest and clutched it there for a moment feeling the sharp pain coursing through her wrist. She laid there for a moment with her eyes shut clutching her aching wrist to her chest trying to breathe through the pain.
“Bunny?” Esme asked softly and Bunny opened her eyes to see Esme now kneeling next to her body as Butter crawled along the ground towards the two of them.
“I should be okay just banged up.” Bunny reassured her and sat up completely still keeping her wrist close to her body to limit the chance of irritating it further. Shifting on the ground to get into a better sitting position she felt a sharp twinge coming from her right ankle. Moaning softly her right hand fell to her ankle to try and steady it as pain jolted quickly up her leg making her muscles seize. “Nope, nope. Not okay. Let me just see if I can stand up for a second. Hey Es, can you come hold Butter’s leash for me?”
Es stood quickly from her kneeling spot and gently unwound Butter’s leash that was wrapped around Bunny’s left wrist and arm. She led Butter a step or two away from Bunny as she stood there watching silently with worried eyes.
Bunny rolled onto her knees and gritted her teeth as she felt the pain in her ankle begin to throb. Slowly blowing out a breath through her mouth Bunny used her left leg to push up from the ground. Taking in a few quick breaths Bunny stood on her left leg and tentatively placed her right foot down flush with the ground. Placing a little more weight on it she felt it suddenly give out and she collapsed to the ground on her knees groaning in pain at the impact.
“Definitely not okay.” she said softly and felt tears prick her eyes as the pain consumed her suddenly. Quickly blinking the tears away she looked over and saw Esme shifting on her feet with watery eyes. “Hey it’s okay. We just need to go to the hospital. I'm pretty sure I broke my ankle.”
“Oh Bunny!” Esme cried softly and Bunny shook her head as she settled back onto the ground.
“Es do you see my phone anywhere? I need to call an ambulance, I can’t stand on my right leg.” Bunny said as she began patting down her pockets not feeling her phone. Esme looked around the ground in the area that they had landed before darting over to the side where the phone laid in the grass. Bunny grimaced as she shifted on the ground and grunted softly in pain as her ankle was jostled before turning to see Esme already holding her phone to her ear. Bunny watched in surprise as Esme effortlessly called 911 for her.
“Hi, I need an ambulance to Legacy Oaks community. My babysitter fell down a hill and she can’t stand on her right leg and her left hand hurts.” Esme explained easily and Bunny tilted her head slightly at how calm Esme was as she talked to the 911 operator. “Yes she’s breathing and sitting up. We are at the main field area by the soccer field. Closest intersection is Main Street and West Legacy Boulevard. Ok hold on.” Esme relayed easily before moving closer to Bunny and holding out her phone to her. “They want to ask you some medical questions.” Esme said hurriedly as she came to Bunny’s side and handed over her phone.
“Hello?” Bunny asked, still in shock at Esme’s behavior as she watched the little girl take a seat next to her and began to coo at Butter.
“Yes ma’am, we have an ambulance on their way to you and I just need to ask a few more questions.” Said the operator and Bunny nodded her head slightly.
“Of course.” She replied as her eyes stayed glued to Esme who was sitting there rubbing Butter’s back letting her fingers drag through his fur.
“So it’s your right ankle that is injured?” asked the operator and Bunny could hear keyboard keys clacking in the background and other voices relaying information about other calls.
“I can’t put any pressure on my right ankle, my leg gives out when I try to. And my left wrist is throbbing with pain whenever I move it.” Bunny relayed to the operator and heard the clicking of the keyboard as she talked.
“Ok, I’ve already let the ambulance crew know and they are on their way. Is there any special directions for them on how to find you?” asked the operator.
“No, we’re the only ones here in the main park area. They’ll be able to see us.” Bunny said and watched as Esme looked over at her silently.
“Ok, if anything changes, call us back but the ambulance should be there shortly.” Said the operator and Bunny thanked him before hanging up the phone.
“I have to call Jeremy and see if he could come grab Butter before the ambulance gets here. Are you okay?” Bunny explained as she looked down to her cracked phone screen and pulled up Jeremy’s contact info with a little difficulty before she looked up at Esme. Placing the phone at her ear she watched Esme look at her with slightly teary eyes and a worried face.
“Hey Bun-Bun!” cheered Jeremy happily as he answered the phone after two rings.
“Hey Jer, I have to go to the hospital. I’m okay but I think I broke or sprained my ankle and wrist really badly. Es and I are at the main park with Butter, would you be able to come get Butter before the ambulance gets here?” she quickly relayed to him hoping he’d be able to help her out.
“Of course, I’m just getting ready for work so I can swing by now and grab him. No problem. Are you sure you’re okay? Is Esme okay?” he responded easily before asking about the well-being of her and Esme.
“We’re okay, I think just a little shaken up is all.” Bunny said softly as she watched Esme sniffle softly and swipe her hand under her nose.
“Okay, I’m on my way. I'll be there in two minutes.” Jeremy said quickly and Bunny said goodbye before hanging up the phone.
“Are you okay sweetheart?” Bunny asked softly as she focused fully on Esme. The little girl looked at her with such saddened eyes that Bunny felt such a severe urge to pull her close and reassure her, but when her body shifted to move closer to Esme she gritted her teeth as pain shot up her leg and arm. “C’mere.” She cooed softly to Esme and the little girl moved closer to her side and pressed gently into it resting her head on Bunny’s right shoulder. “I promise I’m okay. Just probably broken bones. No big deal, okay?” she reassured the little girl as she gently wrapped her right arm low around Esme’s lower back.
“It’s my fault.” Esme said sorrowfully in a low tone and Bunny immediately shook her head at the girl’s words.
“No it’s not sweetheart. Accidents happen and it’s more my fault.” Bunny said easily as she kept shaking her head. Esme turned to look up at her confused. “I said ready, set, go and Butter knows those are play words. So I should have known better. It’s not your fault Es. Don’t think that it is because that’s the farthest from the truth.” Bunny said adamantly as she watched Esme closely.
“But if I didn’t want to roll down the hill then this wouldn’t have happened.” Esme said softly in such a heartbroken tone that Bunny felt her heart clench in response.
“Uh if you recall I also wanted to roll down the hill missy.” Bunny teased softly and Esme scoffed softly as her shoulders slumped forward. “Hey, I’m serious. It’s not your fault that I got hurt. It was just something that happened, it’s really no one’s fault.”
“But Bunny!” Esme cried indignantly as she tried to convince Bunny once more that it was her fault.
“Look, you couldn’t have predicted that this would have happened. And it’s not like you wanted me to get hurt when we decided to roll down the hill, right? And you didn’t push me. So it is not your fault. Accidents happen, we just have to deal with them and move on. Okay?” Bunny said firmly as she stared down at Esme. “Trust me I’m not mad or upset. My bones will heal and maybe if it’s broken I’ll get a cool cast and you can draw and sign it for me.”
“But-“ Esme began again and Bunny quickly shook her head as interrupted the little girl.
“Nope. No buts. It’s no one’s fault. I won’t hear anything else about it.” Bunny insisted as she shook her head at the little girl.
“Fine, but I still feel bad.” Esme huffed out softly and Bunny smiled warmly at her.
“You can feel bad for me all you want. It’ll help me lay it on thick to Jeremy and your Dad to help me out if it’s broken.” Bunny said, nodding her head eagerly and Esme giggled softly.
“I can help you too.” Esme said cheerily and Bunny nodded exaggeratedly making Esme giggle again.
“Uh duh. You’re definitely gonna be my number one helper.” Bunny said fondly and Esme nodded her head confidently as she watched Bunny determinedly. “Oh reminds me I should call your Dad and let him know what’s going on.” She said absentmindedly when suddenly Jeremy’s bright yellow jeep pulled up to the curb and Butter started barking excitedly as he recognized the car.
Bunny sat next to Esme as the two of them watched as Jeremy hopped out of the jeep in his security guard uniform and rushed over to them. He had a concerned expression on his face as he walked over to them and his eyes were darting first around Esme and then landed on Bunny.
“Are you okay?” he asked worriedly and Bunny nodded her head as she gritted her teeth when her wrist protested with her shifting movement on the ground.
“Yeah, just banged up. Took a tumble down the hill that’s all.” Bunny said as Jeremy came to a stop standing in front of her splayed legs. He looked down at her with a soft fond look in his eyes after he heard her explanation.
“You’re always getting up to something aren’t you?” he teased softly and Bunny stuck her tongue out at him making Esme giggle softly.
“First time it’s because I wanted to roll down a hill.” Bunny retorted and Jeremy scoffed softly.
“First time for everything trouble maker.” He quipped back and Bunny laughed as she shook her head at him.
“Whatever man.” She bemoaned to him as she shifted again on the ground and gritted her teeth as pain coursed through her again.
“So what hurts and how can I help?” he asked kindly and Bunny smiled in thanks to him.
“My right ankle and leg are in a lot of pain whenever I move it and I can’t put pressure on it. And my left wrist is in a lot of pain too. Not sure but I might have a concussion too, banged my head a few times on the ground as I came down.” Bunny relayed to him and Jeremy whistled low, Bunny nodded her head in response to his whistle and gritted her teeth as a dull ache began to form in her brain.
“Man you know how to fall hard when you do huh?” Jeremy asked teasingly and Bunny chuckled at him.
“What can I say? Gotta do it right the first time right?” she asked and Jeremy shook his head at her. Just as Jeremy was moving closer to her and Esme they all spotted the ambulance driving down the street. Jeremy turned and waved them down as Bunny shifted again and felt Esme lean slightly closer to her. “I’m okay. It’s gonna be okay, I promise.” Bunny reassured her softly as the paramedics parked the ambulance and hopped out.
“Hey guys, she’s over here.” Jeremy said easily as he directed the paramedics to Bunny.
“Are you her husband?” asked the male paramedic as he looked from Jeremy over to Bunny and Bunny grinned as she fluttered her eyelashes at Jeremy who laughed at Bunny’s antics.
“No, just my best friend.” Jeremy said fondly as he walked over with the paramedic.
“So what happened miss?” asked the younger female paramedic who was now kneeling down at Bunny’s other side with the medical bag set on the ground next to her. Bunny watched as she looked across Bunny to Esme and smiled softly at her. “Don’t worry honey, we're going to take good care of your babysitter.”
“Got knocked down the hill by my overly excited dog.” Bunny said as she gestured with her chin to Butter who was now rolling in the grass on his back trying to get the paramedics’ attention. Both paramedics laughed at Butter and Jeremy just shook his head as Esme giggled softly. “Banged my head a couple of times on the ground, did something to my left wrist, it's throbbing in pain, and my right ankle is in a lot of pain too. Can’t put any weight on the right leg either, tried to stand up and my leg gave out.” She explained as they all looked at her and Esme who was still cuddled into her side.
“Ok, well I suggest we take you to the hospital to get your wrist and ankle checked out to see if you just sprained them or broke them. Also if you choose to let us take you we’ll check for concussion in the ambulance. We can’t force you but that’s what I suggest.” Said the female and male nodded as he stood next to Jeremy.
“Yeah, let's go to the hospital.” Bunny said, nodding her head.
“Okay, Chase, can you grab the stretcher while I start her paperwork?” the female asked as picked up her metal clipboard and began filling out the paperwork with Bunny right there. “Do you want us to take her in the ambulance as well or will your friend be taking her?” the woman asked as she nodded her head at Esme. Bunny felt Esme’s hands come up to clutch at her bicep and she leaned closer to her silently.
“She’s gonna go with me if that’s alright with you guys.” She replied and felt Esme relax against her a little bit. The woman nodded her head and winked at Esme who smiled softly and relaxed further against Bunny.
“No problem with us.” She answered with a smile and finished filling out the paperwork. Bunny’s eyes darted over to Jeremy who was walking with Chase as he wheeled the stretcher over towards them. Once it was lowered to the ground Bunny looked over at Jeremy for some help which he gladly stepped over.
“I’m gonna just lift her up onto the stretcher. It’ll be easier.” Jeremy explained as he squatted down next to Bunny and Esme. “Hey Es, do me a favor and just hold onto Butter for me while I put Bunny on the stretcher okay. Once I’m done and they load her up in the ambulance you’ll be able to get in with her.” Jeremy said softly and kindly to the little girl who was still pressed up against Bunny’s side. Bunny could see the worry flash across Esme’s face and Bunny nodded her head at her.
“Don’t worry, I won’t let them leave without you. You’re coming with me.” Bunny reassured her and Esme looked up at her with concern. “Here take my phone that way you know for sure you’re coming with me since we still gotta call your Dad and let him know what’s up.” Bunny said as she handed over her phone to Esme who quickly took it and Butter’s leash leading him a few steps away from the stretcher.
“Alright c’mon lady let’s get you up on that stretcher.” Jeremy said as he slid his arms underneath Bunny’s knees and behind her back before standing up with her cradled in his arms. Bunny gritted her teeth lightly when her ankle fell with gravity as Jeremy lifted her. “I got you sorry.” Jeremy apologized and Bunny shook her head at him.
“No worries, it's okay.” Bunny said softly as he set her down on the stretcher and Chase lifted it up gently.
“Hey call me if you guys need anything and when you get done with everything and I’ll come pick you two up. That way you won’t have to worry about anything okay?” Jeremy said as Chase began to wheel you towards the ambulance.
“Okay. You sure? I’m sure I could call a taxi or something.” Bunny said as they all began walking towards the ambulance behind her.
“Yeah, call me and I’ll come pick you up. You’re already gonna have a lot going on so just call me.” Jeremy insisted and Bunny nodded her head as she watched him turn to Esme and held his hand out for the leash. “C’mon sweetheart let’s let them get her loaded up and then I’ll help you up there.”
“Thanks Jeremy.” Esme said softly as she hung back with Jeremy as the paramedics loaded Bunny into the back of the ambulance. Once they were done Bunny looked out at Esme and gestured her up once the female paramedic got situated in the back with her.
“Alright honey you’re gonna come sit on the bench over here okay?” she said as pointed to the bench seat next to Bunny’s stretcher on her left side. Bunny watched quietly as Esme climbed into the back with Jeremy’s help and came to sit down on the bench. When she was finally settled in her seat she gripped onto the stretcher railing and watched anxiously as the woman began to get a blood pressure cuff secured on Bunny.
“Alright we’re good to go. We’ll be heading to Three Sisters’ Hospital.” Chase said easily to everyone as he began to close the back of the ambulance. Bunny smiled at Jeremy as he nodded at her and then turned to Esme trying to ease her as they began their trek to the hospital.
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agustdef · 4 years ago
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VIBE
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Pairing: Yoongi x Trans!Reader
Genre: Angst; Fluff; Friends to Lovers
Word Count: 12.4k
Warning: Cheating (not by the pairing); Brief Sexual Content; Mental Health; Mention of Emotional and Mental Abuse; Mention of Mental Health
Rating: NC17
Banner Marker: @guktro​
Lovely Beta Reader: @guktro​ because he’s a persistent little thing and wanted to be the first to read it.
A/N: The fic was written for @guktro​ and takes place in my I Found You and With All My Heart universe. With that being said, I must say that this portrayal of of trans man was written with Gray in mind and to fit his feelings/what he wanted. So, while I apologize if this makes you feel unrepresented I will not deal with any invalidating of Gray’s feelings towards his own identify.
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YN rushed to class after sleeping through the first five alarms he set. He’d meant to get up early, but after a night spent focused on getting a side project done he’d fallen asleep early morning. He scolded himself as he sprinted into the classroom, but at the same time he couldn’t help but be pleased with himself. His burst of late-night inspiration meant that he’d completed the graphic work he’d been tasked with, a thing that kicked his ass for weeks before that night. And it also meant that he had extra money deposited in his bank account by the time he woke up that morning.
A win.
Well, a partial win because the look his professor gave when he just barely had his butt in a seat as class started lessened some of the joy.
There was no time to linger on any of that though because the moment the professor started talking it was full steam ahead. They’d entered another section of the course, which brought them all closer to designing a website completely from scratch. That meant the coding, art, font, almost everything had to be crafted by them.
It was something that excited YN, but also made him extremely nervous seeing as the end product would be the deciding factor of their final grade. Plus, it was going to be done in pairs and despite having attended school their all undergrad, he wasn't buddy buddy with anyone in his classes or his major for that matter. All his friends were in different majors or different schools. Which meant it would be a random person and goodness knows the odds of that person being a team player were low.
However, he tried to keep positive or at least his friends tried to keep him positive. It didn’t help, so he’d just decided to act like it wasn’t a thing until it was. Something that worked until halfway through the class when he heard his professor mention how he’d out of the partners right that moment.
Panic was not a strong enough word for what YN felt as his head snapped up to look from his laptop screen to the front of the class. His eyes scanned the projection on the wall and he held his breath as he did, hoping that whoever the hell it was wasn’t a total shit show. When he found his own name, part of him wished that he’d had a total shitshow instead of who he got though.
After reading the name he turned his head to look towards the back of the room and his eyes met Min Yoongi’s. Yoongi smiled at YN and tipped his head, something YN did in return so not to be perceived as unhappy before turning around again.
But YN was unhappy. Well, not unhappy because he thought bad of Yoongi or anything, but because the man made him nervous as hell. He’d been in most of YN’s graphic design classes since he’d arrived in Korea and a distraction since day one. YN thought that he was ridiculously cute and then as time went by the attraction grew as he watched him go from pale, flawless skin to his arms covered in tattoos. Something about seeing all the art on him heightened things for YN and made him more of a flustered mess around him. All without having never spoken to him before.
Not that YN hadn’t tried. With bullying from his friend’s, but that day as he’d approached “to ask about the homework” Yoongi was joined by a Black woman that YN had seen around him a few times. They’d smiled at each other, linked arms, and walked away from campus as YN reached the halfway point. It left him a tad heartbroken to see that he hadn’t managed to even say hi and that Yoongi may have had a girlfriend.
From that day on YN continued his thirsting from a distance and leaving it at that.
The project pairing meant that he wouldn’t be able to do that anymore and he was unsure of how that would play out, but for the rest of the class time he told himself he could get through it. The reminder that he had a grade to worry about was enough to give some faux confidence.
That wore off as soon as Yoongi approached him as they were dismissed.
“I rented one of the computer rooms for something else, but would you mind heading there with me right now? We don’t have to get any real work done, but it could get the whole expectations part out of the way,” Yoongi said.
Startled, YN only found it in himself to nod and then off they went. Yoongi led the way out the building and to one several feet away that was filled with private rooms for students to rent for course work. They checked in and went into one of the computer rooms on the lower floor.
Yoongi didn’t say anything at first, just unpacked his stuff and booted up the computer. And that left YN awkwardly sitting in a chair next to him, his bag clutched against his chest as he waited. He didn’t know what to do next and that was more about the awkward first group mate meeting then it did any attraction that he felt.
Once Yoongi was done with all his prep he sat in the other chair and turned to YN. He must have sensed the tension because he smiled wide, one of those gum showing ones that YN had seen once or twice when he was talking to his friends. It had a strange calming effect.
“You already know, I’m Min Yoongi,” he said, his hand held out.
YN was a deer in headlights for a second, but soon enough reached out to grasp the hand.
“I’m YN LN.”
“Nice to meet you, YN. We have other classes together, right?”
“Yes, we do.”
Conversation fizzled for a second after that and the awkward tension returned, but Yoongi didn’t allow them to sit in it for too long.
“Okay. I know I said we wouldn’t do any actual work today, but do you have any ideas for what we should make the site for?”
The next beat of silence was because YN needed a second to think, before remembering that he’d made a list in the beginning of the semester, so he’d have it. Without saying a word he unlocked his phone and searched through the notes app to find it. Once it was on the screen he handed the phone over to Yoongi.
There was a look of confusion on his face before he glanced down at the screen and saw what was there. He looked over it for a moment before handing it back.
“We have some of the same ideas. I thought about using this as an excuse to build something for my shop and portfolio, but we don’t have to do that. Don’t want to make it seem like I’m trying to get unpaid work out of you.”
That piqued YN’s interest.
“For your shop?” he asked.
Yoongi nodded. “Yes, I work at a tattoo shop.”
“Ah. Then we could do that. Doing it for a real thing always makes it easier to get the work done. And at least here payment would be a grade and something to add to my resume as a real in use website. But I’d also take a tattoo as payment,” YN said jokingly.
At first Yoongi appeared taken aback, but then his smile returned.
“Anything you want.”
A shift happened in YN and he relaxed a lot more, even putting his bag on the floor.
“Cool, you have any specifics you want to try for?”
And from there they just talked, bouncing ideas off each other and cracking the occasional joke. It was an easy flow they had going and by the time they thought to save some things for a later date in mind an hour had passed.
YN cringed when he saw the clock. “Sorry, for eating into your room time.”
Yoongi waved him off.
“It’s fine. It means I can’t procrastinate and will get something done before my sister comes to meet me for a late lunch. She’ll kill me if I don’t get it done,” he said.
Thought of his own sister made YN frown, but he pushed away the thoughts and gathered his stuff to leave. He turned and smiled at Yoongi, then waved as he backed from the room.
“Text me your schedule and we can figure out when to meet again,” YN said.
Yoongi nodded and they both turned away from each other, but just as YN pushed the door open Yoongi called out to him. Confused, he turned back to see Yoongi’s brows furrow as if in that.
“What’s up?” YN asked.
“You go by he/him, right?”
Discomfort built in an instant as YN was unsure of the reaction that would come with his answer, but he nodded his head and Yoongi smiled again.
“Okay, just making sure so I don’t use the wrong thing.”
With that they said their goodbyes again and YN left, but he left with a happy feeling inside him. He’d moved past the need for outside validation of his gender, but it was always nice to feel someone being considerate. Especially when that person was someone he’d never told before and had to have heard it through the grapevine. He knew how easy it was to misgender him because his appearance screamed feminine and he had no impending plans nor made an effort to make his transition physically apparent.
It was just nice for it to not have someone make a big deal out of it.
So, he walked away from that first meeting beyond happy with the way things went and confident about the project. Which was how he felt after every meeting after that and even on the day that they presented their project.
Everything had gone so well and he only had one regret: Not getting a chance to know Yoongi much outside of their assignment. But the semester was over and YN was so busy with school, work, and life that he barely even had the time for his friends.
And the next thing he knew he was on a plane on the way back home to the US.
 ### 
The moment YN stepped into his apartment he wished he hadn’t. He’d closed the door gently as not to rouse his boyfriend who worked the night shift, but when he turned to face the living room he saw that the man was already awake. In fact, he was awake and he had company.
On the couch sat Sam and between his legs was some “friend” of his with his dick halfway down her throat. The sight didn’t startle YN and he barely had the energy to be upset about it. Especially when both of them realized he was there and could only look like a deer in headlights. Well, Sam was pretending to care that he’d been caught, but YN saw the way he fought the little smirk that wanted to form on his lips.
“Oh, my goodness,” the girl said.
That was what made YN focus solely on her and he remembered her from a few group hang outs. She was a sweet girl who was newer to the group and Sam liked to hang around her lot, though she always seemed to put distance between them when he got too close. It seemed like she’d given up on doing that.
“I didn’t know you lived here,” she said.
“So, if I didn’t it was okay to give oral to my boyfriend?” YN asked, his voice empty.
She shook her head profusely and rose to her feet, fixing her clothes as she did.
“No. My goodness no. Sam… he, well he said you guys broke up. I wouldn’t… I’m not the type to…”
Her scrambling to find an excuse should’ve given YN some sort of relief or reassurance that she wasn’t a horrible person, but he felt nothing. He merely held up his hand to get her to stop and walked back out of the door without another word to either of them.
He’d planned to get in a quick lunch nap, thus coming home when he did, but that was out of the window. So, YN walked around aimlessly until he stumbled upon a cafe. Once inside, he ordered something and found an empty booth away from everyone.
The first few minutes were sat in silence with him merely staring at the other bench seat blankly. He didn’t speak or move until the barista brought over his drink and sandwich. A brief thank you and then he began to nibble on the food, hoping it was enough to focus his mind on something else, but it wasn’t.
All he could think about was the disaster that was his life.
When YN returned to the US he saw it as temporary and as a means to help out his family. His mother struggled a little and he wanted to help, plus he’d missed them since he hadn’t had the chance to go home during his undergrad. Things were fine for a while, but then they all just became so mean and uncaring about his feelings. His mother tried, but sometimes she was just the worst. And his little sister was rude and acted like she hated him or at least that’s what it felt like. Every second of the day it was her trying to undermine and trash talk YN, get the others on her side. And while YN’s brother wasn’t like the other two, he wasn’t the most helpful in saying anything when they ganged up on him.
It was horrible for his already not that great mental state and at some point he was pushed too far. The only option for his own health and safety was to leave, but he poured so much into them it was hard. After talking to a friend back in Korea they got him a plan to go back and he saved as much as he could for the ticket. And the moment he had enough his bags were packed and he was on a plane there.
From there he stayed with friend’s, though as they all progressed in life and started dating seriously or getting engaged it became harder for him to do. Thankfully, he had started dating and as he prepared to find someone else to move with Sam offered for them to stay together. YN had been unsure, there was a gut feeling he didn’t listen to, but living with a boyfriend prematurely was better than being homeless.
So, he moved in, but things dissolved quickly. Sam was trash. His manipulative nature became more obvious and though YN could see it, he was really into him. Certain things were let go or blatantly ignored and that gave him incentive to get worse. YN had found him cheating twice and he’d let Sam talk him into staying both times, but things were still bad. Especially as he became disillusioned and realized he had to stay until he could find a place he could afford to live.
Seoul was expensive and even on his great salary he couldn’t afford it. So, he endured it. Dealt with Sam’s bullshit and tried to remind his heart that Sam wasn’t good for them, despite how they still acted as if they were a happy couple.
Life refused to give him a break and with everything crashing down he’d flirted with returning to the US, but that was no better than staying with Sam. And he didn’t want to be there, he wanted to be in Seoul. But that didn’t stop the thoughts as he sat there and ate his subpar sandwich at the cafe he hated.
All he had to do was have a few friends go to get his stuff with him, stay with them for maybe a day and take the next plane back home. It was that easy, though nothing about it felt easy. Especially as he reminded himself he didn’t want to go back. He didn’t want his joy ruined by someone else.
Which meant that before he spiraled in a public place he needed to pull it together and check apartments again. He’d done it on the train ride back to his apartment and found nothing, but things changed.
After several deep breaths he pulled out his phone and scrolled through all the possible apps for housing. Unsurprisingly nothing that he’d rent alone was in his price range that he could do, which frustrated him and almost made him put his phone down but he pushed forward. He’d accepted a long time ago that he would need a roommate, so he narrowed his searches for those kinds and found a few, but they were mostly creepy or still too much.
That’s when he was really ready to give up, but then the app he was on glitched and refreshed the page. Annoying because he had to scroll all the way down again, but also a heaven send. As he re-scrolled he stumbled upon a listing that was below what he was willing to pay and in a great neighborhood close to his place of work.
YN had never moved so fast to look through the pictures and see what other information the person had to say. The room that would be his was spacious, had great windows, and a wonderful view. Plus, the rules laid out weren’t overbearing.
A simple scroll to the bio of the owner, Sidney, had him even happier because he saw a picture of a Black woman with a kind smile. She explained she was a resident at a prestigious hospital and her last roommate moved out, so she needed someone else to help pay the bills. And there was a direct line about not minding gender at all as long as you were a decent person.
For once life appeared to be on YN’s side, so he scrambled to message Sidney through the app giving the required info about himself and making it clear that he could come to meet her as soon as she was available.
He hoped for a response before he got off work, but what he didn’t expect was one ten minutes later as he left the cafe. She told him it was an off day so he could come after five. YN responded quickly that he got off work at fifteen minutes after five and could be there by five thirty. Sidney replied with a confirmation and YN went back to work with a pep in his step and some hope.
However, that hope turned to nerves as he made his way to the apartment. He even debated not going in once he reached the building but persisted and made his way up with the mantra “you got this” playing in his head. It was effective enough that by the time he knocked he believed it.
The door opened a few seconds after his first knock and he was greeted by the woman who’d he’d seen in the picture. She smiled at him.
“You must be YN,” she said.
YN nodded. “Yes, and you’re Sidney.”
“That I am. Please do come in.”
Sidney motioned YN inside and he paused to kick off his shoes before following her further into the apartment. It was so much nicer in person and he felt himself get excited at the thought of living there but had to remind himself that it was possible he wouldn’t. He had to get along with her after all and just because she seemed nice didn’t mean that she would just let him stay or actually was nice.
“I can show you around and then we can sit and talk or the other way around, whatever you’d prefer. Also, a random man may appear at some point, he does not live here but insists on invading my home anyway,” Sidney said, her voice grew louder as she said the last part.
“Oh, shut it,” a voice shouted out in the distance.
YN was confused at first, but also amused by whatever dynamic Sidney had with the mystery man who was supposedly an unwelcomed guest.
“Tour first is fine,” YN said.
“Tour it is then. You can put down your bag and we can start in the kitchen,” she said.
Without looking YN sat his bag on the couch and followed closely behind Sidney. She walked him through the space, pointing what was where and what was what. Every room got a somewhat detailed explanation, even the empty room that could be his. It was weird how in-depth Sidney was for showing someone who hadn’t been given the go ahead to live there yet. But YN assumed it was just how she was or some way to ensure that the person knew a lot before making a choice themselves.
Five minutes later they finished and walked back out to the living room where there was suddenly someone on the couch. YN assumed it was the person Sidney had been calling out before and shrugged it off.
“Okay, now we’ll sit down and talk for a bit. Get to know each other,” Sidney said as she plopped down onto an armchair.
“And if you aren’t some creep I get to ask you questions too,” the man said.
Something about the voice was familiar, but YN didn’t know just how familiar until he finally walked around the couch and could see the man’s tattoos and then his face. His breath caught in his throat and his eyes grew wide as he stared at him.
Yoongi’s reaction was practically the same, going from an intimidating glare to a fish out of water.
“YN?” he asked.
“Uh, you two know each other?” a confused Sidney asked.
All YN could do was nod as he thought about what kind of craziness was his life.
“Um, yeah. We went to college together. Had a lot of the same class and he even helped me build the shop's website,” Yoongi said.
That’s all it took for Sidney to join and create a trio of shocked expressions.
“He’s that YN?”
For some reason that snapped YN out of his momentary glitching as he wondered what she meant by that, but by the glare Yoongi leveled her with he was sure he’d never figure that out. Though Sidney appeared unphased by his clear displeasure and simply shrugged. Which was met with a roll of the eyes before Yoongi focused on YN again.
“I thought you went back home,” Yoongi said.
YN took a moment to clear his throat before nodding. “Yeah, I did. But the plan was always to come back and I did that two years ago.”
“Oh, that’s good. Glad you got to come back,” Yoongi said, a wide smile on his lips.
As he’d learned years back Yoongi’s smile could make anything feel okay and all the nerves and confusion YN felt before he smiled were pushed to the wayside.
“Well I’ve made my decision. You can move in,” Sidney said, disrupting the moment.
Both of them nearly broke their necks turning to look at her, eyes nearly popping out of their heads.
“W-what?” YN asked.
“You have a job and the ability to pay rent, right?”
“Yes. I’m a section leader at LE International. I can even show pay stubs if you’d like.”
“Then that’s that. Yoongi clearly isn’t opposed to you and that’s good enough for me. You can move in whenever.”
“Even right now?”
“If you want, but is that all you have to move in with?” Sidney asked, tone cautious.
Unsure of what to say YN simply shook his head, but when neither of them said anything or pushed he felt the need to give an explanation. Plus, he was let in without any issue and so he felt a sense of comfort with them.
“I do have more stuff, but it’s at my old apartment and going there isn’t a good idea. At least not right now,” he said.
At that Sidney and Yoongi shared a look for a second before Sidney turned to YN and smiled at her though it was a tad unsettling, much different from the ones she’d directed YN’s way before.
“When do they leave the apartment?” she asked.
Startled, YN looked at her for a long time before answering.
“Um, he’s off tonight but works again in two todays,” YN said.
Sidney nodded before turning Yoongi. “Call Kookie, Namjoon, and hell even Jin. Those wide ass shoulders of his are intimidating all on their own. Tell them to meet us here in fifteen.”
Yoongi didn’t say a word, just threw a reassuring look YN’s way before leaving the room to make the calls.
All of it happened so quickly that YN took a second longer to process it all.
“Oh no, you don’t have to ge-”
A shake of Sidney’s head shut him up.
“Two days is much too long to be without your stuff and even if it wasn’t it may not all be there if he sees you aren’t coming back. I know I’m overstepping a bit and I can call this all off, but you deserve to be in an environment away from whatever it is you’re trying to escape and that means without fear of never getting your stuff back. So, we can proceed and even go alone if it makes you more comfortable or stop it here.”
A warmness filled YN and he felt his shoulders shake a little as tears he didn’t know he held back fell. People he barely knew were being nicer to him than of those he’d known for years or his whole life. And they were prepared to go up against her ex for him without a single question asked. It was like a weight lifted off his shoulders.
“Please help,” he managed to mutter.
Sidney nodded and carefully moved closer to YN, asking before she touched him and then easing him into it before pulling him into a tight hug. Something YN didn’t know that he needed until it happened.
Once they got him calm and their friends arrived they headed out to YN’s ex’s place. He was nervous the whole way, but the entire thing was a bit of a blur. They got there, their friend’s Jungkook and Namjoon appearing behind YN was enough to keep Sam at bay and the others packed up his stuff. There were a few words from Sam, but any time he shifted the wrong way Jungkook took a step forward and he shut up. It was a weird switch from the sweet-faced tattooed kid she’d met at Sidney’s and the one ready to kick his ex’s ass if he breathed wrong.
Everything was moved out and Sam had his key back within about thirty minutes. And they were back at the apartment soon after that. They all helped YN unpack his stuff and get comfortable in his room, even ordering his favorite food for dinner.
By eleven that night he was curled up in his new room, in his new apartment, and for the first time in a while he felt like things clicked.
### 
Comfort wasn’t something YN easily found, but it settled in after the first two weeks of living with Sidney. Though she was very busy most of the time with work and school life, she went out of her way to make sure YN was okay and taking proper care of himself. And all her friends were just the same.
After week one of being there he’d met the rest of the friend group, which consisted of Taehyung and Jimin, who he knew from work. They’d been nothing but kind and didn’t push him to tell his life story. All they requested was that he tell them when they crossed a line or truly didn’t want to participate in something; and they’d backed off quickly the one time it happened.
From there it had been so easy to mesh with them, come out of his comfort zone, and just live his life without worries of his ex or where he’d live next. Months passed so quickly and he hadn’t endured a panic attack at all.
It was a nice change of pace and put a bit of a pep in his step.
After a night of watching movies and a morning of breakfast made by Sidney who came off a twelve-hour shift and who apparently craved a mountain of homemade blueberry pancakes. YN didn’t complain because for one it was food he didn’t have to make and for two he hadn’t had pancakes in over a year. So, consuming all that crossed his plate was a must. Though as he traveled to work regret in the form of drowsiness settled in quite a bit.
All that left the moment he stepped in front of the work. Though he’d been working there a while it made him quite anxious to go in every day. He loved his job and wouldn’t trade it for the world, but sometimes that feeling was enough to make him want to try and freelance or something so he could avoid offices and a team of people.
But that wasn’t why his demeanor changed when he arrived. Oh no, it was the two men who stood off to the side of the main doors that did that. Or more so one of the men that was there.
Jimin and Yoongi stood in front of the building with smiles on their faces as they talked together about something that appeared beyond hilarious from the outside looking in. They were laughing and wrapped up in their own worlds as they spoke. Not noticing YN’s gawking nor the many others who eyed them up intensely. Though to be fair YN was sure Jimin was used to it from how much it happened daily. However, with Yoongi there and wearing a short sleeve shirt with his tattoos on full display the attention increased tenfold. Which was always the norm when he came in to work with the company on something.
At some point YN found himself drifting from the momentary drooling over how hot Yoongi was to enjoying the expressions of those who saw them. Something he got so wrapped up in that he didn’t notice Jimin calling his name and waving him over for about fifteen seconds.
Once he snapped out of it, he walked over, head ducked as he avoided the prying eyes of those who noticed where he was headed.
“Hey, we’ve been waiting for you. Thought you normally came in earlier?” Jimin asked after they parted from a hug.
YN nodded. “I do, but I woke up to Sidney cooking breakfast. There was so much of it. She wouldn’t stop filling my plate.”
Yoongi laughed at that, the first sound he’d heard after he’d walked over. It had YN staring him down out of curiosity, but that washed away once he pulled him into a side hug. The affection was brief, but still quite nice.
“Blueberry pancakes?” Yoongi asked.
That guess would’ve left YN from months before surprising, but he’d learned that Yoongi and Sidney knew each other creepy well. Like there was being close to someone and then there was this telepathic like connection where Sidney could see the way Yoongi’s nose twitched and was fast enough to get him a tissue before he sneezed and vice versa.
Though he didn’t think about it often YN was quite jealous of their sibling-like dynamic when compared to the one he had with his own siblings.
“Yeah, she said something about needing them before she lost it,” YN said.
Before Yoongi could respond to that both of them were ushered inside of the building with Jimin muttering about needing to get into the conference room on time. They went without struggle because an angry Jimin wasn’t something anyone wanted and being late wasn’t on the agenda for that morning.
Once the three of them were inside of the elevator Yoongi spoke up.
“She does that when she’s coming off multiple twelve hour shifts sometimes. She’ll either pass out or stress cook blueberry pancakes. I think with the school part of her life finally letting up she has enough energy to make the pancakes now.”
With that new information YN made a mental note to learn to make the pancakes so sometimes she could come home and eat them then pass out. He knew she was a stress cooker and baker, but surely the craving for pancakes existed even when she was dead on her feet. So, the chance for her to get the satisfaction of both was something he liked for her. She worked so hard nonstop and deserved nice things.
While YN plotted on how to get her to teach him the recipe they reached their floor and headed out, going straight to the conference they were to meet that morning. When they walked in they were the last ones, but others were clearly still settling in which meant that their entrance wasn’t the focus. They moved quickly to get into their seats and a few minutes later the meeting began.
“As you know we’re taking on work for an upcoming idol group. Usually that would mean very little from us because they have an in-house team of some sort, but this project is out of their depth. They’re looking for some top-notch work with the concept they’re going for. And because they want things to be cohesive you will be working closely to give ideas and creative direction. This is very involved,” Section Leader Kim said.
Everyone muttered words of understanding before she continued.
“Some of you have hands-on experience with prop type things, so you will be in charge of helping conceptualize that and bring it to life. While three of you will be dealing with a lot of their social media and branding stuff. You will be creating from scratch for them to ensure they appear as unique as possible.”
There were more murmurs and then she directed her gaze towards YN, Jimin, and Yoongi.
“You three will be in charge of all things social media and branding. You will craft from top to bottom. I know YN has experience in it and Yoongi has done it a few times before when he freelances for us, many of those times will partnered with Jimin. So, I’m counting on all of you to do this. Understood?”
“Yes,” they all said.
“Good. There is a meeting set with the company’s creative director, the group, and their manager for an hour from now. Go prepare with your best portfolio examples and take the van that’ll be waiting downstairs in twenty minutes.”
In an instant they were on their feet and out of the room. A mix of fear and excitement drove them to go to their desks and grab any printed things they might need as well as chargers for their tablets just in case. Well, Jimin and YN did, Yoongi simply plopped down into a random chair and started going through his own tablet. When YN walked past he saw him copying certain stuff into one file marked with the project name.
Within fifteen minutes they were ready and in the van that drove them to wherever the meeting was.
YN felt the anxious energy that filled the vehicle but tried to keep his own in check. His focus was on his own tablet organizing some things, so they were easy to find when he tried to show them. However, he did that so quickly that he needed something else to preoccupy his mind, so he opened up his coloring app and used the pen to color in the picture of a sunset. The calming effect wasn’t the same as if it had been paper and crayons, but it helped a great deal. So much so that by the time they reached the company building he felt like he was entering a lunch date with work colleagues and not walking into the lion’s den to do his job well enough to please the entertainment company and his boss.
That didn’t mean that he felt confident enough to take the lead though. Yoongi was the one to do that with YN and Jimin following close behind him. They both got so nervous in new, high pressure environments that it was good to have someone else take charge sometimes.
And with Yoongi at the helm things moved smoothly. They got inside, were brought into a conference room, provided drinks, and NDAs for them to sign. No one tried to be difficult nor did anyone side eye them as often happened, though there were lingering eyes on Yoongi’s tattoos. Would’ve been some on Jimin’s too if he hadn’t worn a long sleeve.
Their wait for others only lasted for about five minutes before they were standing and greeting the group of seven. They all introduced themselves and as the introductions took place YN was shocked to learn that the group was the four, heavily tattooed men. He was very here for it, but surprised nonetheless.
Surprises didn’t stop there though. The moment butts hit seats the creative director dove into what they were looking to do. All of it came at them fast and YN barely had time to process the gist of what the hell was going on. It was about halfway that Jimin asked them to slow down a little and they obliged, explaining things in a less excited manner. Once he finished each of the members took a turn explaining what they hoped things to look like.
From there they were all allowed to share their past work and some ideas. They’d received vague information from work so they’d kind of gotten some understanding of what was wanted, but nothing they had truly fit. That wasn’t a problem though, there was some interest in some of the stuff and it was only the first meeting.
Yoongi had finished explaining something to the manager who’d wondered if they could create some sort of glitch vibe to incorporate when one of the members, Hyun, pulled his attention.
“I apologize if I offend you or it’s too personal, but who gave you that tattoo?” he asked.
Yoongi paused before following Hyun’s gaze to the large tattoo on his forearm that was about as intricate as the others, but glitched out and splashed with colors. It was one of YN’s favorites.
“Oh, Jimin did,” Yoongi said while pointing towards the man in question.
That led to them all looking wide eyed at as bashful Jimin buckled a bit under their gazes. There was some nervous energy wafting off him and YN wasn’t sure if it was because they all appeared amazed or because despite major changes to who could tattoo in Korea they were displeased to see it so openly admitted.
YN knew it was the former, well it mostly seemed like the former.
“You do tattoos?” Moon, another member, asked.
Jimin nodded and then cleared his throat before speaking.
“It’s something I do on the side because I like it. I usually work at Yoongi’s shop. He’s a bit of a reverse of me, works full time doing that and freelances doing this.”
Again, they looked beyond shook at the revelation and that was when things truly got rolling as they brainstormed ideas. They took a few pictures of Yoongi’s tattoo and then built off the concept of it. Though YN was not a tattoo artist, nor did he have any, it was easy to keep up since he was around them so often and found them interesting.
Time flew with their newfound excitement and suddenly four hours had passed. Since the group had other things to do they left first and after finalizing some things with them the creative director also took his leave. He said he wouldn’t need anything from them for the rest of the day, but to spend time coming up with things that fit for what they were trying to do for their meeting a few days later.
So, they left on a high note. The issue was that they were so excited and eager about everything they found themselves at Yoongi’s working on things immediately. They’d all taken up space and began working on designs that they could implement for it. They were only going for rough sketches or bare bones ideas to be decided on next meeting, but it was all consuming.
Seokjin had come through with food and forced them to sleep, but they worked so hard to get everything done. And if it weren’t for their excitement to bounce ideas off each other they would have gone all that time with no social activity at all. Not that isolated while submerging yourself in work so much you only had two people to talk to was a good thing.
Thankfully, they emerged from that behavior before Sidney had to make good to come over and kick all their asses. They’d finished everything in time for their next meeting and when that one went well they truly felt like hot shit.
However, they needed to rough draft a website. Something that Jimin knew how to do but not like them, which worked out since he had a few appointments to do and it didn’t hinder progress. Though it did leave Yoongi and YN alone, something that they hadn’t been since their college project. Which meant awkwardness to start before they got into a groove and found the right flow.
It reminded YN of how much he’d loved working with Yoongi back in college, as well as stirred up some feelings he hadn’t thought about. Not enough to say that he truly fell for the man, but enough that he wished he could ask him to accompany him on a non-work-related outing just the two of them.
Luck was on YN’s side though, because the moment that they finished the website Yoongi turned to him and smiled. One that YN returned whole heartedly before raising his hand so that they could high-five. Yoongi rolled his eyes but did it anyway and then there was a shift.
Instead of releasing YN’s hand he held onto it and stared at him for several, long seconds before he finally said anything.
“I’m going to say something and please tell me if I’m crossing a line,” Yoongi said.
“Uh, okay.”
“I know that it hasn’t been that long since the whole crazy ex thing and us reconnecting in a way we hadn’t when we first met. But I want to take you out on a date. To be clear it’s not anything extremely serious, I’ve just been feeling something and I need to act on it before I allow myself to possibly feel anything stronger.”
YN’s eyes went wide two sentences and just stayed that way for a bit. His mind replayed the words over and over in his head, knowing that he’d heard Yoongi right the first time he said it.
“You want to go on a date with me?” he finally managed to ask.
Again, Yoongi’s smile took form as he nodded. “Yes, I do if that’s something you want to do. No pressure, I’ll be fine if you say no. I’ll even be fine if you say yes and we just don’t fully click that way. A no pressure situation.”
Despite the constant reminder of no pressure, YN felt a great deal of pressure but also none at the same time. He wanted the date to go well so he wanted to try to make it work but knowing that Yoongi was prepared to continue as they were if what they thought was there wasn’t was a relief.
Probably the chillest request for a date he’d ever gotten. Definitely from the chillest person he’d ever encountered.
“Yes, I would like to go on a date with you,” YN finally said.
Yoongi’s smile getting any wider felt impossible but it did. His expression and body language screamed happy and that only enhanced the joy that spread through YN after he’d said yes.
“Anything in mind?” YN asked.
For a moment Yoongi’s lips formed a pout as he mulled it over and then his eyes lit up as he seemingly figured it out.
“There’s this temporary restaurant and art gallery in Incheon. They have some of the work by that one artist you said you liked recently. You could meet me at the shop after my last client on Saturday and we could go. If that’s something that interests you,” he said.
All it took was the mention of seeing the artist Bri’s work for YN to be on board with the plan in an instant.
“Yes. Fuck yes,” he said.
Laughter escaped Yoongi at the response and he nodded. “Saturday it is then.”
YN went home sometime after that feeling a kind of lightness and genuine excitement that he hadn’t in a while. And he didn’t care if it only lasted a few minutes or hours, he savored it. 
### 
The entire time YN got ready for the date he’d been calm. There were no worries or internal meltdowns, no matter how much closer he got to the actual meet up time. He’d gotten up from his binge watching of Nura: Rise of the Yokai Clan and showered, then dressed without issue. Didn’t even overthink what to wear, just found something that he deemed date appropriate and casual. Though he did pause for a moment to thank the heavens that the dress code for where they were going was relaxed.
Even as he applied his make-up and waved bye to a half away asleep, still in scrubs Sidney on the couch on his way out he was fine. It was a miracle and he was so happy to not be beside himself, but naturally that all came crashing down.
As he approached the last stop on his train ride he noticed a few people gathered together laughing and talking. They’d all been there since the stop before, but YN paid them no mind as he played a game on his phone. But an extra loud laugh drew his attention and when his head lifted to glance there way he realized he knew them. It was a collection of some of his old friends, ones who’d let them stay with them for a bit and were also the reason he’d met his ex. And with them was aforementioned ex.
A discomfort built in YN’s stomach, not from seeing them but from the idea of confrontation. Despite clear attempts to block him and keep away, Sam had made it his mission to pop up someway in YN’s life for a few months before vanishing completely. And though he’d given up, YN knew him to hold a grudge and be persistent. If he saw YN there would be some attempt to talk and with people to back him avoiding him was hard. But YN told himself he could do it.
YN looked away from them and focused on his phone once more but made sure to keep alert just in case they saw him. He made sure he had everything he came onto the train with, moved his purse from his lap to crossbody, and held his phone firm with Yoongi’s number at the ready.
The moment the train came to his stop he stood and moved past them quickly, keeping his head down and his eyes averted. However, the train jolted a little harder than usual sending him stumbling into one of them a little. He did his best to offer a quick apology and then turned back to the doors willing them to open faster. And when they did he bolted out of there just as his name was being called out by Sam.
People around him were startled by the person sprinting through the station and up to the surface, but YN didn’t stop until he was across the street from the station and amongst a group of people. He paused to catch his breath and ensure he hadn’t been followed out of there and when both of those things were clear he made his way towards the tattoo shop. Thankfully, it wasn’t far from the train station.
As he walked there the adrenaline from that close call left him and made way for the nerves that had remained at bay all day. It was as if they’d been awakened by running into people he wanted to avoid, though something told him it was more likely they’d just been waiting for the right moment to strike. What better moment was when he was only a few hundred feet from the shop's entrance.
One more time that night YN found himself pausing to pull it together, words of encouragement and surety repeated in his head to get him to make the final steps. And once he got in front of the door he was calmer, though not as much as he preferred.
“You got this,” he whispered just as he pushed the door open.
Upon entering he was greeted by Jimin who sat behind the front desk and Jungkook who’d just emerged from one of the back rooms. They both wore genuine smiles, clearly happy to see YN and that was enough for the incident from several minutes ago to leave his brain. People who actually cared deserved more of his focus than anyone else.
“Hey, he just finished up and is cleaning his space. You can go back there if you want,” Jungkook said after a brief hug.
After he hugged Jimin he headed on back without a word. He’d been to their shop a few times and it wasn’t hard to find things. Yoongi’s room was the last one in the hall and when YN reached it he took a deep breath before knocking on it. There was silence and then a soft come in before he proceeded.
When YN opened the door he was met with Yoongi wiping down his chair and the strong smell of a bleach laced cleaning substance. It made his nose wrinkle and he almost backed out of the room, but he got used to the smell quickly.
“Hi,” YN said.
Though that was the natural thing to say YN beat himself up for saying it. Something in him said he could have said something cooler, but he knew damn well trying to be cool or appear chill or whatever the hell he wanted to go for was stupid. Also, Yoongi didn’t give a fuck about that anyway.
Stopping his efforts to clean off the chair, Yoongi stood tall and turned to smile at him. It was wide and though there was a trace of tired etched into his face it didn’t detract from the genuineness of it.
“Hey. I’ll be done in a few minutes. Just want to make sure things are good since I don’t come in tomorrow.”
YN nodded. “That’s fine. I’ll just stare at this wall for a while.”
Yoongi laughed at that and then went back to cleaning.
And true to his word YN proceeded to stare at the wall. But it wasn’t like it was blank, the thing was covered in some of this work. Yoongi tended to make prints of his favorite pieces or the ones that spoke best to his ability and put them framed up on walls. Which meant that the space was beautiful and YN could get lost in examining them all for hours. He’d tuned out Yoongi, Jungkook, Jin, and Sidney talking the first time he laid eyes on it because he was so swept up in it all. They’d all taken faux offense to him ignoring them, but all voiced understanding of why. Their compliments had Yoongi turning red by the end of it.
Something was different about the first time though. At first YN couldn’t quite put his finger on it, but a few seconds later he realized a piece had been moved and there was a new one in its place. While the other had been a drawing the one in its place was a chunk of text. It was in a beautiful script that one would deem impossible to do so fluidly on skin, but Yoongi had achieved that.
Once YN got past that he noticed that it appeared to be words from Puck’s final monologue in Shakespeare’s A Midsummer Night’s Dream. That made him laugh, but also got him thinking about something that he wanted that was similar. He’d wanted a tattoo when he was younger and then as he grew up and dealt with life the urge became stronger, though he had more direction than before.
While thinking he hadn’t realized how far he’d drifted until Yoongi pressed a hand to his lower back.
“See something you want?” Yoongi asked.
Instinct told him to push the idea aside and tell Yoongi it was nothing, but his mouth and brain seemed to disconnect on the matter.
“Just thinking about how I’ve wanted a tattoo for forever. And this one just makes the urge all the more real.”
There was no response at first and that made YN start to doubt sharing that, but when he turned to glance at Yoongi he saw a thoughtful expression.
“How about we do one?” Yoongi asked after a few more moments tick by.
“Now?”
“Now. I still owe you a tattoo, don’t I? Plus, we can go to the exhibit another day. Though if you don’t want to spend our first date getting takeout and getting a tattoo then we can do it later.”
For a moment YN thought about it, but then realized there wasn’t much to think about at all.
“Yes. Let’s do that.”
And that’s all that was needed to get Yoongi smiling again and guiding YN over to his desk where he sketched out the tattoos. They dove into Yoongi’s portfolio for inspiration, but nothing fully stuck no matter how much YN loved it. After who knows how long they ordered dinner from a nearby sushi restaurant and even as they ate they focused on finding the one.
It was frustrating and YN felt a bit bad about using their date like that only for them to come up with nothing. He’d planned to voice that thought, but then suddenly Yoongi cleared all the stuff and pulled out a pencil and a sketch pad. Then he turned to face YN, expression serious, something that YN had grown used to while they worked together.
“What’s your favorite color?” Yoongi asked.
“Uh… blue.”
“Mine too. Favorite cliche tattoo?”
“Song lyrics.”
Yoongi nodded along and started writing something on the paper, but he held it so YN couldn’t quite make out what it was.
“Favorite time of year?”
“Winter.”
There was more nodding and writing before Yoongi looked up once more, his eyes fixed on YN’s as he spoke.
“And without giving me some job or basic life goal, what do you want to be when you grow up?”
And surprisingly YN knew how to respond without question. “The hero of my own story.”
That got a small smile out of him and he even reached over to squeeze YN’s knee before he wrote something down and then tore the page out of the book. YN watched Yoongi sit the paper to the side and then him sketching on the blank page under it.
Not a word was uttered as he did so, the room silent and uncomfortable. Of course, confusion filled YN but after all the time spent looking and with the determined look of Yoongi’s face he let him do his thing. Which only lasted for a few minutes before Yoongi flipped the sketch pad for YN to see what it was.
YN burst into tears as he took it in.
Everything about it was perfect despite it being in slightly rough shape. The right words were there and even the more drawing oriented parts of it fit so perfectly and didn’t overtake the words. Goodness, YN couldn’t stop focusing on the words. They just slapped him in the face with how well that fit what he wanted. How well they fit him.
Gathering himself was hard, but he managed to make it clear to Yoongi that he loved it and that’s what he wanted. Yoongi wanted to comfort him, but YN waved it off and after making sure that all was fine he got to work getting it drawn on his tablet so he could print it out for stencil.
All of it happened so fast from there, they’d found a spot for it and how it would lay and YN was in the chair ready to go. Yoongi had all his stuff ready to go and the buzz of the tattoo gun brought YN back to, but something was different then.
The euphoria from finding the right thing and finally doing something he’d wanted for years was still there, but there was that voice in the back of his head poking at it. It’s what he wanted and he knew that wouldn’t change, but something just felt off. Like it wasn’t the right time for him to be getting it. Like he wasn’t ready for it.
“Wait,” he said just before Yoongi’s needle touched his skin.
Thankfully, Yoongi heard him just in time and pulled away, turning the gun off and setting it down on the table. Though there was clear confusion on his face he didn’t say anything, just waited for YN to be ready for whatever the next thing was.
His kindness and patience made YN feel guilty and a little bit stupid. He’d gotten a date with Yoongi only for them to not go on the planned one because of some whim that YN had and couldn’t go through with.
“I… I want the tattoo, but I just can’t right now. I don’t know what the fuck it is, but I just… something is telling me that right now isn’t the right time. And I hate that because I know I love it and want it, but I’d hate to have the joy of getting it clouded by whatever weird shit is happening in my head. And I hate it more because we could have been finishing a really great date doing something we both enjoy instead of spending hours doing this only for me to chicken out during the last second. It’s unfair to you. And I’m so, so, so sorry, Yoon.”
YN’s ranting would’ve gone on longer if the guilt hadn’t increased once he realized that he’d been talking for a bit and was definitely going to keep going if he wasn’t stopped.
Following his little spiral there was silence before Yoongi reached out and held both of his hands with his own. He waited until YN looked up at him and then gave him a gentle smile while his hands squeezed YN’s lightly.
“I’m the one who offered out of nowhere. I’m the one who decided to make this a consultation kinda date. I made those choices and I stand by them. We found something and you’re not ready and that’s fine. It happens to a lot of people. Sid almost got the tattoo on her side about ten times before she finally went through with it. And she was as sure as you were about this one, probably cried just as much. I’ve had clients even do that a time or two, it’s not a big deal I promise you. We ate food, we spent time together, and though it was frustrating at times I had a good time with you. I promise. Plus, I already said we could retry that date another time. So, unless you no longer want to go on another date with me, then we can still do that.”
Relief was not the right word for what YN felt after that, but he couldn’t think of another word for it. At least not until he found himself leaned forward with his lips pressed against Yoongi’s. He was unsure if he initiated the kiss, but all that mattered is that Yoongi returned the kiss without hesitation.
When he pulled away YN found the right word for what he felt.
Bliss.
###
Several dates followed the first one and they’re all great. The initial date plan never happens because after the night they were supposed to go, the pop up ended sooner than it should have. That made YN feel even more guilty about changing their plans, but after a great afternoon spent at a festival it was forgotten. Especially with how well things went.
YN and Yoongi clicked in a romantic way. They both felt it and weren’t shy about the growth in their affection towards each other nor their feelings.
However, despite their dating for over a month neither of them had made the move to make things more official. Which wasn’t really necessary since they and everyone else knew they were together, but it didn’t stop the odd thought here and there about if Yoongi genuinely wanted to commit to YN. And he was sure Yoongi had the same thought whenever he went to introduce YN and stumbled on what to call him. Neither of them said anything though.
Everyone thought they were being stupid, including Sidney, but they let them work out their stuff at their own pace. Even if their own pace was two idiots not just addressing the one thing that could remove any inkling of doubt, while knowing the other is thinking it.
It would have gone on longer if on the day that YN and Yoongi were going on yet another date, Sidney was too. There was a doctor that she’d been sleeping with that she sometimes went out with, though usually only as a preface to sex. After an incident where she had to explain to him that anal beads were not in fact candy, things had been strained and Sidney said he’d asked her out to get closer again. She didn’t see it becoming much more, but she also wasn’t against trying so she’d agreed.
As she’d parted ways with YN after they left the apartment there had been an offhand comment from her telling YN to ensure her boyfriend didn’t eat the cookie dough she had sitting in the fridge. The recipe called for a two-day waiting period before baking and she refused to make another batch just because Yoongi was a fiend.
Usually YN brushed off the label, but it stuck with him that time and he felt his mind go into overdrive as his cheeks burned at the thought. Yoongi was not his boyfriend, but he wanted him to be and that meant that he was going to have to ask him. He needed a plan to do that, but just as his brain got to working on one Yoongi’s car pulled up.
The thought was dismissed as he hopped in and Yoongi leaned over to give him a quick peck on the lips before pulling away from the building.
For a moment all YN thought about was how soft his lips were.
That was until he realized he was unfamiliar with the route being driven and didn’t even know what the date was supposed to be.
“Uh, where are we going?” he asked.
Yoongi shook his head immediately. “I didn’t tell you for a reason. You’ll find out when we get there.”
Naturally, that made YN pout, but he didn’t press him for it.
“I would joke about you taking me somewhere to kill me, but you’re too lazy to dispose of a body. Unless Sidney didn’t actually go on a date and is waiting for you and my dead body at a second location.”
At first Yoongi laughed, but then his brows furrowed and a frown formed upon his lips.
“She has a date? Please tell me it’s not with anal bead dude?”
All YN did was sigh and that elicited a groan of annoyance from Yoongi. He didn’t care for the man and that was before the aforementioned incident. There were many times he’d told YN, Sidney, their friends, and the man in question how stupid he thought he was. And how he didn’t understand how he managed to get Sidney to be around him for more than two seconds, let alone became a doctor. It wasn’t the most he’d disliked one of the people Sid was with, but it was apparently up there on the top of the list.
“You know she isn’t even into him that much, so I don’t know why you’re so worried. Not like she’s going to marry him suddenly. She’d probably marry Jin before anyone else. They mesh,” YN offered trying to placate him.
There was a huff from Yoongi and then a nod. “True. Or Hoseok, they would probably be good together. If they ever stopped being busy when the other could finally come around.”
“One day.”
From there conversation fizzled and YN stared out of the window watching the world go by. Minutes ticked by and then they were pulled into a parking lot and headed to a train station. Even as YN realized the direction they were headed he couldn’t figure out what it was they were going to do.
Which was fine since they reached their destination and he would have never guessed it in a million years. And he was beyond happy about that.
They stood in line at a place that wore the sign of the artist he’d wanted to see the work of and from the windows he could see it was a similar pop up to the one they’d been meant to go to. The pieces were different, but it was still a set up for dining amongst the works.
YN was so shocked and giddy that he didn’t utter a word until they were seated at a table for two and waiting for their waiter to return with water.
“I didn’t know they opened another one. I’d been hoping and stalking their accounts for it, but nothing ever came up. Not even yesterday. This is so fuckin’ cool,” he said.
The ramblings of joy didn’t stop there, YN continued on gushing about the artwork and about how much he loved being there. And there were several thank yous thrown Yoongi’s way, all of which he waved off.
There just hadn’t been something that excited him like that in a while and he couldn’t shut up about it. Not that Yoongi seemed to mind. They still had a back and forth, Yoongi putting his two cents in and sometimes being the reason for why the conversation shifted in one direction or another. Though it was mostly about the artwork and sometimes about how good the food was.
Before YN knew it they’d finished dinner and began to walk around to look at the art. Though the entrance area held some there was another room down a short hallway that gave more of the feel of an actual gallery. The things hung in there had a similar feel to the things in the dining space but were vastly different. The artist tended to be more traditional with their stuff, but the things back there were more digital.
And right then YN fell more in love with their work and Yoongi found himself entranced by it for the first time.
At that point they were kids in a candy store calling over the parents every time they found something that they loved. It was chaotic, but they both had enough patience to wait for one another to come look at what they were talking about.
They were beyond adorable. But they were also so caught up in the work that they didn’t realize how much time had passed until there was an announcement of five minutes until closing. There was some pouting on both their parts, but they understood and turned to go hand and hand.
Until YN stopped suddenly.
Confused, Yoongi stopped too and turned to glance at him. He was met with a wide smile, but a determined expression. It clearly worried him and he opened his mouth to speak, but so did YN.
“Is somethi-”
“Will you be my boyfriend? Also, can we do the tattoo tonight?”
The first question had Yoongi choking on air and missing the second one.
“Repeat that,” he said.
Seconds ticked by with YN saying nothing, because despite the confidence during the initial ask, he felt his nerves kick in hard as he was requested to say it again.
“Um, well I asked if you would be my boyfriend and if I could finally get that tattoo.”
More silence came as Yoongi’s mouth opened wide and closed repeatedly, the poor man was doing a terrible fish impression. It would have been funny or something to tease him about in many situations, but all it did was make YN nervous as he waited for an answer.
Thankfully, the suffering only lasted about thirty seconds before Yoongi pulled it together. He pulled YN close, their faces inches apart and then answered.
“Yes,” he said before closing the distance and pressing a kiss to YN’s lips.
It was a gentle, yet passionate kiss that made YN melt into his embrace. He never wanted to leave that moment, but when they pulled apart he couldn’t stop the happy feeling that filled him. Which was only amplified by Yoongi’s bright smile.
They would have stayed like that, but then the two-minute warning came and they realized they needed to move. But before they left Yoongi turned to YN.
“Also, that was yes to both things if that wasn’t clear. I’ll text Kook in the car.”
And just like that they were off. They practically sprinted to the train station and then to the car once they got off the train. There was a buzz of adrenaline surrounding them and it didn’t start to lessen until they stepped foot inside the shop.
Though Yoongi still appeared incredibly happy and ready to conquer the world, YN found himself deflating a bit. Each step towards Yoongi’s room brought on nerves and by the time his butt hit the seat of the tattoo chair he felt like he was halfway ready to sprint out of the room.
All the feelings from when they chose the tattoo came back and he was there unsure of whether to go through it, despite really wanting to. It was a recipe for disappointment and he didn’t want to chicken out again, but his brain wasn’t being kind.
The shift in him went unnoticed by Yoongi until he turned to him with the printed off stencil in hand. When he saw YN’s downturned lips and the tense behavior he frowned.
“We don’t have to do this, you know,” Yoongi said softly.
That almost broke YN, because he was being so sweet about enduring YN’s indecisive ass twice in a row. It was too nice of him and it only made YN frown more, but instead of guilt flooding in certainty did. Something in YN shifted and drowned out the other voice being a pain in his ass and suddenly a smile graced his lips.
“No. I want to do it,” he said.
Of course, Yoongi appeared unsure for a moment but after staring him down he nodded and got to work.
Alcohol pads were used to wipe down YN’s arm and then the stencil was placed. It was done a few times to get the right placement, but when it was just right on his forearm Yoongi proceeded; with caution though.
He allowed YN to choose the music and asked if he was sure, then grabbed the gun and turned it on. The first mark was a tense one for both of them, but as time went on things grew more relaxed and went along smoothly.
The tattoo in question wasn’t that big, but it had some intricate details that needed all of Yoongi’s focus. It left YN alone with his thoughts, but he never drifted to a bad place. If anything he was more so worried about how long it would take and trying to play on his phone without moving the arm that Yoongi was working on.
A few hours and one small break later though, the tattoo was done. Yoongi had been able to get it done completely but said YN would have to come back once it was healed to get it colored again just to be safe.
That didn’t matter to YN though. In that moment all he wanted to do was see the thing. He’d avoided looking at it through the process and during the break so he could get the full effect, and that is definitely what he got.
The moment his eyes laid on the tattoo through the mirror his body shook as tears fell rapidly.
On his forearm was a forest of leafless trees. The setting was winter and that could be seen from the snow that was depicted falling down. While the trees were a lot of the tattoo they started before the crook up his elbow and stopped about two or three inches before his wrist. From that point on a plot of blue dahlias among snow took up the remainder of the space. Though the ones they were thinking of when coming up with the tattoo were red, they’d chosen blue because it was something that already brought YN happiness. But it didn’t stop there. Since the dahlias weren’t as tall as the trees it left space above it. So, in the midst of all the little snowflakes were words written in a beautiful script. They were truly the thing that evoked the most emotion from YN.
We'll be in full bloom at the end of these hardships.
Those words resonated with him on a whole different level and though they were bittersweet, all he felt was joy with them. Hope too. Those were things he thought were out of his reach, but he’d finally felt them.
Yoongi, Sidney, their friends, and most of all YN himself had finally helped him see he could feel like life was on his side. And it was the greatest feeling in the world.
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roseyful · 4 years ago
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Mars Red: Edge of the Nightmare - Review
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Now, my Tumblr has been a bit quiet lately (been queuing a lot of things so then it wasn’t too quiet during my absence), but it has been for a good reason; last month I was approached [on my private twitter account] and asked if I would be able to playtest a game and write a review, and of course, being someone that enjoys games, especially those that follow an otome style, I had to say YES.
So its proud to say that after a while of playing the game, I finally get to write this review.
Now before I get into the game itself, I would like to take the moment to give appreciation to the team for being so helpful during my time of playtesting the game and before that, as not only would they let us know when there was an issue and the date had to be pushed back, they were so polite and helpful whenever I would run into a problem. That’s something you’d want to see in a gaming company and I’m so glad that my first experience with this company is one with positive results. I personally found no issues with the team themselves, and I do hope they keep this up after the release. Thank you favary for being so lovely and patient with me, and other beta testers.
Mars Red: Edge of The Nightmare was the game that they asked for me to play, however when I originally looked at their website, I couldn’t help but notice that the concept was originally one of a ‘Sound Theatre’, and while I couldn’t figure out what that was, I eventually was lead down a rabbit hole and ended up looking at the other things that Bun-O Fujisawa has worked in. Very interesting stuff, just like the game. However, it’s best to look at his other stuff in your own time.
Please note: I will be keeping this spoiler-free for the sake of letting people go in with no idea of what’s going on besides what I mention and on the website.
Story
The game is set in the early twentieth century in Japan, or better known as the Taisho, in which the website also says ‘[is] influenced by Romanticism’, in which vampires rule the night, as they could only feed off blood and those that stepped into the sun would surely die. Keen senses, incredible physical abilities, and yet they were still vulnerable. You see that very early on with the main character that we play as; Yutsufusa Yuki, a vampire whom became one against his will.
I will be honest, I did not like Yutsufusa when I first started playing, as I felt like he was a bit too willing to die, but that is something that you can overlook when you get further into the story. Yutsufusa is obviously one of the youngest in the group, due to the fact he wears the more ‘modern’ [at the time] clothing out of everyone, well, there is someone else who wears similar clothing but he’s human.
You control Yutsufusa throughout the game, influencing his voices and living his life through his eyes, him acting as the reader insert as you learn about the other characters and begin to grow a bond with them. While the story is a bit slow at first, it does start picking up around the middle-end of chapter 1 and the beginning of chapter 2 after you play the prologue, as you begin to assist “Code Zero” in their work to rid the world of vampires that wish to feast on humans..
Be mindful that there is an anime, however, Yutsufusa does not appear in it, as it focuses on the other main characters, so if you have watched the anime already be sure to remember that they’re either two separate timelines or different points in time. I do not want to confuse anyone with this.
The main cast is quite an interesting bunch, as it covers a wide range of personalities, and sometimes even time periods as you play through the game and unlock things; you might say you might learn a bit of history from it if you end up looking up some of the references I’ve found in the game. This is a great reflection on the idea of ‘immortality, and even has moments where said immortality leans into a few jokes (such as knowledge of birds).
If you’ve played games such as ‘Ikemen Revolution’, you may be familiar with the ticket system. Every day you’re allowed a certain amount of tickets to progress through the story, however, if you run out of tickets and you must read more, then you’re able to progress the story via using ‘amber’, the game’s currency that you can use for different functions. However, this is not needed, as every day your tickets will be replenished. I personally found myself not even needing to use my amber, as I would always wait for the next day. There are mini-stories that you can get if you finish a chapter within a certain amount of time, but I personally don’t find them to progress the story a lot after I read the first one I got. Then again I had other things to occupy my time while I wanted as well. If you wish to reread chapters, you get a bonus third option of currency; coins. Coins can be used to reread chapters in the place of amber or tickets, which means that you can grind out coins via the exploration option in order to see more options (looked at a bit later).
I personally found the story to be engaging, between the use of minigames (or investigations, covered a bit later), it broke up the reading with fun activities that progressed the story.
Is the game an Otome?
No! I was shocked as well when I saw the all-male cast since I was wondering if I was playing a boys love game, but in the end, I was pleasantly surprised to find out that this is actually a detective game. While it may carry the usual look of an otome, with the story and choices of how you speak influencing the endings of chapters, the game more feels like one of finding new friends and solving kick-ass investigations than finding romance. It’s refreshing.
This is especially true between the minigames in which helps influence the story that is all very unique in their own way and do not seem repetitive once you get into the flow of how they work.
Minigames
The minigames come forward in two forms; investigation, interrogation, and infer. Investigation sounds exactly how you’d expect, as you have to poke around and look at things, which you can review in a little notebook that sits in the top right of your screen in the case you need to review what you’ve looked at. When I was first launched into this section for the first time, I had a little trouble remembering exactly what I needed to look at (as I was given a set of things to tap), however, I do have to thank the team for thinking ahead and adding the option to be able to watch ads in order to see what you need to do. This was one of the two times I’d have to watch ads, as they don’t shove them in your face every few seconds like most mobile games do which is rather nice. Sometimes you gain information or items that you have to use later, so it’s a good idea to keep track of what you look at.
Interrogation acts as a question-based information gathering, in which you talk to NPCs in order to gather information to use in the investigation. Like Investigation, these points are put into your notebook for later.
Infer takes the first two investigation segments and combines the information, as you now get interrogated by one of the main characters, and you must respond back with the proper information in order to make sure that this segment is successful. You are able to read back on the notes from the other segments at this point by pressing the button with the book icon in the upper right corner, as this aids you in selecting the right answers. When I first came to this section, I did feel under pressure due to it, but it was interesting to see the negative answers from the character if I got it wrong.
Exploration is another part of the game, that while outside the story, there are parts that require a certain amount of story points in order to clear ‘point blocks’. This is where you get the coins from and frankly is good to use once you have finished using all your tickets for the day and want to use the rest of the time to grind coins. During the exploration, you set up 2 characters, a place, and a set [in real life] time of how long you want them to be out and about. Depending on the number of points earned, you may earn something called a ‘mummer’, which reveals more about the characters you chose to send out, and even get dialogue of the characters interactions (which can be pretty funny in itself) that shows the dynamic of the two characters- are they friends? Are things tense? You get to learn more by sending them out together.
Artstyle
As an artist, I was incredibly pleased with the art of the game, as the characters do not look the game, there are different body types and ages (from teen to elder), you never had to look at the same face twice for two characters. I will be honest, I do wish the characters were a bit more ‘animated’ with their expressions (such as body movement when they’re feeling certain emotions), however other than that, the sprites are magnificent.
The backgrounds are also really interesting to look at and even tell so much story before you even start investigating within the investigation sections. The design team also needs props, because while a few characters are wearing similar outfits, they’re all wearing them in different ways which shows their character and even the way they probably fight. Though I will say I am a bit biased towards Takeuchi, then again, I really enjoy fun and loud characters in general, and his hair is interesting in a sea of mostly black, purple, silver or blonde hair. Maybe will make a fanart of him in the future if I learn to draw his eyepiece. (on that note, please release the full sprites for us artists to reference, we’d love you eternally for it haha).
Oh no, it’s a-
Yes, its a bit of a gacha game, however, you do not need to actually play the gachas in order to progress through the game; it mostly just unlocks bits of story for those that want to have extra stories, or just want that extra dose of dopamine (haha, me). As someone who plays gacha games ever since they turned 13, I was glad that this game isn’t actually gacha centric, and thus is very free-to-play friendly due to this.
Who would I recommend this for and would I recommend it myself?
Personally, I think this is a game that suits the niche of those that enjoy a good mystery and even play those ‘find an item’ games, mixed in with those that enjoy reading otomes and history. Maybe even someone that enjoys theatre since there’s a character that does theatre. Would I personally recommend it? Yes, I would. The game is very interesting and engaging, the staff behind the game are so lovely.
Once more, here’s the game’s website link ❤️: https://marsred-game.net/en/
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iampikachuhearmeroar · 4 years ago
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tl;dr political rant post:
it had been my goal from 12 years old to do an arts degree in philosophy (yes what a nerd- thanks to my dad playing a Great Courses philosophy dvd one morning in 2007 and my dad always taking me to the botanic gardens/the uni some weekends).
i graduated from my arts degree in 2018, with a major in english and a minor in philosophy. i was so, so lucky to even get into my communications & media degree (at first i was originally going to do marketing communications, advertising & PR)... but i realised that i was not made for business subjects- despite my mark101 tutor telling me she thought i had knack for marketing- something under this policy that i wouldn’t undertake due to the price hike for commerce/business degrees. nor was i made for a media degree. so i changed to arts & humanities.
although under this atrocious policy, english subjects are made “cheaper”- why on fucking should the rest of someone’s arts/humanities degree be so much more expensive, all depending on the fields they choose???? so you’re telling me, if i was instead to enter undergrad this year to do my english degree... that my english major would be subsidised, but my philosophy minor would be at double the cost (along with the few first year business and communications&media subjects i did), unless i forced myself to pick maths or science subjects that i would most definitely fail, no matter how much work i’d put into them??? or there’s languages- but much like maths/science- there’s the problem with my handwriting that stopped me trying french and even japanese (ironically, since it’s know for its ~painstakingly neat and orderly~ script- but my handwriting is still messy, disorderly and confusing asf).
*please note that most of this next section is just me being highly spurious and cynical. it’d probably work out fine*
but you’re also telling me that under this policy that i’d also probably have to forego my reasonable adjustments in those subjects (yes i still have trouble with my handwriting to this day) mostly because a lot of software still won’t let you write out maths problems properly or i’d have to spend twice as long trying to get a graph to work in excel or idek matlab (please teach me maths nerds)???? and most maths working out is probably better handwritten or whatever??? and that’s besides the point that i still can’t use excel at all 😂.
so with these classes then, would i be battling from day one of first year with professors to let me use a computer during exam periods (unless of course they use online/take home exam methods like philosophy)???? probably (im being very suspicious here because i don’t know how science/maths etc faculties work).
although i did get this once with one particular english professor; who used the excuse that he didn’t know how to set a computer up for exams because he had been on “sabatical for 4 years” or whatever and so “didn’t know the policies anymore”.... so then according to him it was apparently “the students job to do it.... especially since you’re in third year, miss williams”..... however, i was promptly then told by EVERY uni offical that i approached for help to do it for me.... and my other professors across my course that had done it for me, that it was in fact the PROFESSORS job/responsibility to set it up, and not the student’s??? like. help your students fuckwit professor grant??? honestly. anyway. aside from my personal struggles in the english department: let’s proceed. (this was a real incident btw).
would i be at a significant disadvantage to other students by not being able to use a computer during maths exams or science exams because of the drawing of diagrams and graphs and “showing your working”???? hell yes. would i want the professors in that department to probably condescendingly telling me all the time to “present my work neater and more precisely”? FUCK NO. it’s exactly why i avoided every maths and science subject in undergrad- even including the astronomy subject that i wanted to do- because it also meant that fellow students had to read my handwriting for practicals etc as well, that i wasn’t entirely keen on either. but i did not need the harsh reminders of “be more precise and infallible in your work presentation” that i’d had at school constantly for 11 years of maths lessons; affecting my mental health and performance in a subject during a uni semester.
moreover, that’s besides the fact that i’d flat out fail the “year 12 band 4 maths” requirements- unless they want to waive those- for first year maths/science subjects (at least basing it on my local uni).... considering that i actually skipped out on maths completely in year 12 by doing a TVET/tafe/technical college course in live theatre, production and events (which no surprises here, actually included maths anyway 😅).
because, fuck. is ANYONE seeing a trend in my study choices here? hell, i almost did a commerce/business dual degree with a tafe diploma in event management for crying out fucking loud. and you’re telling me that’s also doubled in price?? it’s obvious that i was interested in the arts & humanities and business subjects from the get-go. but under this policy- i’d be charged double for having my interest in event management, instead of say, biology (which is a subject that if it weren’t for mark scaling in my final hsc exam- i would have failed completely)??? utterly ridiculous.
i even contemplated doing a double degree with law at one point (or doing a legal studies major/minor- which is now a course at my local uni, but was not while i was there). however, law course fees have also doubled under this new policy. leaving that out of reach for me, despite that a double degree with law was out of reach for me anyway..... since my mark average was 65% and not at least 75% lol. but as if those marks averages will actually matter under this new policy.
under this bullshit policy, i’d be forced to take science/maths or even teaching (another field i had to avoid, since people can’t read my writing on a whiteboard from a distance half the time either.... besides the fact that i’m not really the ~teacher type~) subjects- all so that my degree price overall will be ”reduced”..... meaning that i would have to trade out my philosophy minor for something in maths/teaching/science (or maybe creative arts- since those fees stayed the same roughly)... instead of sticking to what i was good at: philosophy and other humanities/social science fields like sociology and history????
i understand that many people will snub me with saying “oh why did you even BOTHER going to uni if you were THAT indecisive about what you wanted to do?” which is something i’ve seen many older people saying on posts about this policy. but hell, i was 19 FUCKING YEARS OLD WHEN I STARTED UNI, FOR GODS SAKE. OF COURSE I WAS GOING TO BE FUCKING INDECISIVE ABOUT MY DIRECTION IN LIFE! because, newsflash fuckwits: not everyone has a defined career goal at 19. hell, i still don’t have one at almost 25..... since i’ll admit here, that i flunked out of my postgrad library course.... because i realised that i simply couldn’t cope with learning simple HTML, CSS and javascript coding for website design & user experience design 😂 (again help me computer wiz friends). yes, believe it or not, librarians have to know that today. and most people think that it’s just all about books (okay that was me, but i was wrong). also, if you’re wondering: postgrad library courses aren’t affected, thank god. but my point is, aren’t we meant to fuck up and pick the wrong things in life sometimes??? aren’t we meant to be indecisive about our choices in our late teens up until our mid 20s???
but now you’re telling students that their very first year of uni is practically set out for them, even for arts/humanities degrees (im not counting properly prescribed degrees such as engineering/science/communications & media (they had prescribed majors and prescribed first year subjects, which is why i left it. because i felt trapped in the prescribed marketing et al major etc); all because the government is telling them that “oh to make your first year cheaper: (A.) get good marks.... so that we don’t cancel your HECS place and (B.) pick subjects outside of the arts/humanities like science/maths/tech related subjects so that you don’t pay a whopping $14,500 for your first year of uni and will be more likely to be “job ready”. whatever the actual fuck “job ready” really means. and this all as if there ISN’T enough pressure for a 18/19 year old to succeed in their first year of uni already.
although, the one thing i’ll say is that my one year advanced diploma in marketing that i did in 2014, was $16,500. i still haven’t made any moves to pay it off. but it was constantly in the back of my mind during uni, both undergrad and postgrad. it was there as a reminder to pick cheaper subjects, so as to not greatly increase my combined hecs debt and vet-fee help debt; which is now sitting at $42,500. which under this new policy is the new price of ONE arts & humanities undergrad degree. i’d hate to be going into uni next year at 19 years old (or any age really) with that price tag on my degree.
anyway. that’s the end of my non-sensical rant. morrison and the rest of the libs etc can go fuck themselves.
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bethpeaches123 · 4 years ago
Text
Oh, it’s you.
So I had an idea rolling around in my brain for a little while, and then a real-life situation presented itself that was eerily similar to this, and instead of acting on it in real life, I’m acting on it in fanfiction form. Because it’s less risky, ha. Here’s some enemies to friends to luvers. I’ve also posted it on AO3 for your reading pleasure. :) Enjoy! I would love some feedback too!
“Thanks,” said Katniss Everdeen briskly to the Uber driver in the front seat of the red Corolla. He grunted his acknowledgement in response as her hand grasped the door handle and pushed the rear passenger-side door open, swinging her slender legs out onto the sidewalk. She leaned back into the car and grabbed the bottle of wine off the seat, then ducked out and straightened up, slamming the car door closed as it drove off.
Turning to face the towering brick townhouse belonging to her cousin Gale and her childhood best friend Madge, Katniss squared her shoulders and took a deep breath.
“You don’t have to stay all night. Just a couple of hours,” she muttered to herself. “That’s like…four half-hours. Or...six twenty-minute periods…or 12 ten-minute chunks…or…anyway, whatever. Just do it. It’s Madge’s birthday, she wants you to be here, just suck it up.”
The night wind suddenly swelled, a gust whooshing past her, stirring up a pile of dead brown leaves around her feet that had fallen from the maple tree on their tiny front lawn. She realized with a start that she probably looks a little crazy to any onlookers, standing on the sidewalk in front of a picturesque townhouse after dark, staring up at it and muttering irritatedly to herself.
She huffed and rolled her eyes. “You’ve gotta get out more, you’re losing it being alone in that apartment all the time,” she muttered again, before stopping and shaking her head. You’re doing it again; quit talking to yourself already and just go inside, she thought.
She adjusted the crossbody strap of her clutch (the bright gold colour was out of character for her, but it was a gift from her sister and the nicest purse she owned) and curled the loose strands of dark chocolate hair that had slipped free from her side braid behind her ears. Smoothing her forest green shirt dress down over her slim frame, she tweaked the braided brown leather belt around her waist and absently brushed a piece of lint from the right thigh of her black tights, glancing down at her camel-coloured heeled booties.
She wasn’t entirely sure of the dress code of the evening, but at twenty-five, they were still at that age of being grownups, but not totally grownups, if that made sense; they were old enough to legally drink the copious amounts of liquor they downed at one of Gale and Madge’s house parties, but they were still young enough to thankfully not feel the full force of a crippling hangover the next day.
Hopefully this looks okay, she thought. Who are you trying to impress anyway? Stop. Stalling, she grumbled internally.
Irritated was her mood of the night and the night was only just beginning.
Clutching the bottle of wine with the golden bow on the neck, she pulled open the wrought-iron gate and proceeded up the short staircase to the house.
Leaning over and pressing the doorbell off to the right of the heavy black door, she glanced up at the night sky over her left shoulder and her eyes flickered to the wind blowing in the trees again. It was a warm night for the end of October – so warm she’d left her jacket at home and opted for just the long-sleeved dress. It wasn’t like she was walking anywhere. She’d take an Uber home later.
Katniss could hear the sounds of an upbeat indie tune floating through the open living room bay window off to the left. Her eyes flicked back to the front just in time to hear a voice on the other side of the door, where it swung open to reveal the guest of honour for the evening.
“Katniss! Hey! God, I’m so glad you’re here – Gale was wondering when you were going to show. Now maybe he’ll finally shut up,” said Madge, her smile spreading across her face and reaching her arms out to hug her best friend.
“Sorry I’m late,” said Katniss sheepishly, squeezing her back. “Carl the Uber driver wasn’t as prompt as the app said he’d be. He won’t be getting five stars from me tonight.”
Madge’s grin grew. “No matter – you’re here now, that’s what counts,” replied the pretty blonde. Her eyes softened as she looked at her old friend, hesitating. “How are you doing? How’s…everything? After…everything last week?”
“I’m okay. Really. It’s getting better every day.” Katniss said, quietly. She really didn’t want to go into details right here, right now. Or ever. The evening was supposed to be a happy occasion, for Madge. Katniss didn’t want to get into the depressing details of the collapse of her relationship with her long-time boyfriend Darius a few weeks before and the messy division of their things when he moved out of their shared apartment.
“Good, I’m glad to hear that...listen, I know it’s not the time or place, so I won’t pry, but please, let’s go for coffee again this week. You can bitch all you want about how much of a douchebag he is, and I’ll happily reassure you how you’re so much better without him,” said the birthday girl wryly.
“Deal,” replied Katniss, a small smile on her lips. “Here – this is for you,” holding up the bottle of Nova 7 that she knew Madge loved. “I know technically I should’ve gotten you champagne for your champagne birthday, but I thought you’d like this more.”
“Oh my God you’re my favourite person, you know that, right?” squealed Madge. “I mean, besides Gale, but whatever – where did you get this?! I’ve been trying all the liquor stores around town and they said they haven’t gotten a shipment in ages!”
“I had it specially ordered from their website! I’m glad you’re happy – I love you, but I’m never going through that hassle again. Customs are a bitch,” grimaced Katniss. Getting the white wine shipped from Canada seemed a bit much, but 25 was a big birthday and Madge had been Katniss’s best friend ever since they’d been paired together in Mr. Heffernan’s English Lit class in sixth grade. She deserved to be on the receiving end of a splurge.
“Well, you and I are going to drink this together tonight – no one else gets a drop,” beamed Madge. “Come on, I’ll stick it in the back of the fridge so no one can get at it before we do.”
She stepped over the threshold into the front porch and started to toe off her booties when Madge glanced down and stopped her. “No, no, leave them on, they’re part of your whole outfit. You look really good tonight, by the way,” she said, appraisingly. “I mean, not that you don’t usually, but, y’know, dresses are kinda rare for you. I’m babbling. Ignore me. It’s the wine. Come get a glass or three and start drinking with me please,” pleaded Madge as she turned back towards the kitchen down the hall and spotted her new husband. “Gale! Gale, Katniss is here! Get her a glass of Riesling, ASAP!”
“Hey Catnip! Good to see you – finally,” smirked Gale as he strode down the front hall towards them, but Katniss could see gentle concern in his eyes. He didn’t think you’d show, she thought to herself. She mentally huffed at her cousin.
“Obviously I’m here, it’s not like I’d miss my best friend’s birthday,” she said, somewhat shortly.
“Oh – of course not, I know that, I j-just...anyway, I’m glad you’re here. There’s a taco dip with your name on it so I hope you came hungry,” her older cousin stammered, glancing at his wife for reinforcement.
Both he and Madge seemed a little on edge at her presence, like they were afraid anything they’d say would set her off in some way. She knew they were only worried about her since the breakup, but it still irritated her to think that their shared glances probably meant they’d been talking about her before she’d shown up. Katniss hated being the centre of anyone’s attention or gossip.
It’s not gossip; they’re concerned about you because they love you, Prim’s voice popped in her head. Her younger sister was always her voice of reason and regularly called her out when she got in her own head and complained about people being interested in her personal life. With Prim on the other side of the country in medical school at Stanford though, she wasn’t here in person to call her out. But Katniss knew her as well as she knew herself, and knew it was exactly what Prim would say in this situation.
Steeling herself and wiping the scowl off her face, Katniss offered Gale a small, embarrassed smile and said, “I was really hoping you’d make your famous taco dip. I skipped dinner specifically for it.”
A flicker of relief passed over his face and Gale turned and gestured for her to follow him towards the dining room down the hall as Madge returned to the living room filled with guests. “I even covered it in extra shredded old cheddar, your favourite,” he grinned.
“Mmmm, hell yes. Where are the chips? I’m digging in right away,” she said eagerly, following behind him.
As they bypassed the living room and entered the dining room, she glanced back towards the front of the house and scanned the crowd. There was already a decent number of people here, some faces she recognized like old college pals Rue, Thom and Thresh, but others she’d never seen before. Gale’s work friends, probably, she thought absently.
“Is Joanna coming?” Katniss asked, turning her attention back towards the spread of food. “I haven’t talked to her all week. I meant to text her earlier, but I forgot.”
“Yep, she said she’s coming by once she’s finished at the office. Some big case she’s working on or something,” Gale replied. “Let me get you that Riesling, I’ll be right back,” as he turned towards the kitchen, leaving her to focus on the food. Grabbing a plate from the stack off to the left, she started piling taco dip onto it, her mouth watering in anticipation.
“Yeesh, Everdeen – leave some for the rest of us, why don’t you?” drawled a familiar voice.
Oh no. Not him, she groaned inwardly, the flush of annoyance rising up her neck and spreading across her face. She stiffened as she heard him chuckle softly and reluctantly turned to face the speaker.
“Oh, it’s you. Hello Peeta,” she said politely. “I didn’t know you were coming.”
“Why? Obviously I’d come to celebrate Madge. Besides, would you have stayed home and not graced us with your presence had you’d known?” Peeta smirked.
“Hmm, something like that,” she replied, pursing her lips before continuing reluctantly. “How are you? How are Delly and Connor? He must be, what, three now?” enquiring after his wife and son.
“…Yeah, he’s three now. Three and a half, actually, as he’ll tell you. Time flies when you’re having fun,” Peeta replied grimly, averting his eyes from her face. Confused at his response, Katniss was saved from having to reply by Gale appearing to their sides with her glass of wine.
“One Riesling for the lady. Hey Peeta, what can I get you? Beer? Liquor? Something to wipe that sour expression off your face?” asked Gale, wryly.
“Beer is fine, thanks Gale,” the wavy-haired blond replied. “I have to have something that’ll help wash down this taco dip, if Katniss doesn’t eat it all first.”
Katniss scowled at him. “Chill out, Mellark, there’s plenty there. I barely took any,” she retorted. Grabbing her plate and piling on a handful of nacho chips quickly, she turned and carried the plate and her glass of wine away from the irritating man before he could respond. Fuck, he’s such a dick, she stewed. Why does he have to be related to Madge?
Peeta Mellark and Madge Undersee-Hawthorne were indeed cousins, but he was also a former classmate of theirs from junior high and high school. It wasn’t like he and Katniss were friends though – they couldn’t have been further from that. Complete opposites throughout their early days, Peeta was a popular jock who seemed to get along with everyone. Everyone except quiet, kept-to-herself Katniss.
She had no idea why he never warmed to her – she’d sometimes catch him staring at her across the classroom or in the hallways, but he rarely spoke to her throughout their academic careers. She’d usually shoot him a puzzled look in return, because that’s exactly what he did to her – puzzled her.
Stupid Peeta Mellark. Why did he have to be here? And where was his wife, Delly? Katniss hadn’t laid eyes on the blonde bitch yet, but she was sure she’d know when she entered the room because the temperature would probably drop to below freezing, just like Delly’s chilly demeanour.
Katniss was never friends with Peeta, but she never understood what he saw in Delly. What was the title of that book she’d seen in Barnes & Noble one time? Why Men Marry Bitches? Maybe someone should’ve picked up a copy for Peeta Mellark because he could use some psychoanalysis as to why he married someone so horrible. Though, considering what she’d heard about the elder Mrs. Mellark while in school, maybe someone should pick up a book called Why Men Marry Their Mothers for him instead.
She moved through the crowd towards Rue and Thresh, when a flash of short brown hair caught her eye in the main hallway. “Jo! In here!” she waved to the petite brunette in a black pencil skirt and crisp white collared shirt. Johanna was her and Madge’s former college roommate-turned-other-best-friend who was currently kicking ass working at the hottest law firm in the city. She was fresh out of law school and had to article for a year before she could pass the bar and be a full lawyer, but the partners at her firm were already so impressed by her drive and her no-holds-barred attitude, they’d already offered her a position once she’d passed the bar in a few months’ time.
“Hey Kitty-cat, how goes it?” said Johanna, snaking her arm around Katniss’ shoulders in a side hug. “Ooh, gimmie that, I earned a big drink after the freakin’ day I’ve had,” pulling the glass of wine from her friend’s hand and taking a big gulp, then grimacing. “Ugh, never mind, I forgot you like girly drinks. I need something harder tonight.”
“Wine is sophisticated, thank you very much. Rough day?” Katniss asked sympathetically, taking the glass back and swallowing a mouthful of the cold, sweet liquid.
“Fuck me, it was brutal. This lawsuit is gonna be the death of me and I’m not even a lawyer yet,” Johanna groaned. “If I have to read through one more brief, I’m gonna stab my eyeballs out and shove them down the managing partner’s throat.”
“Graphic, but okay, sure,” winced Katniss. Jo was never one to hold back with her…colourful language. “Here comes Gale – give him your drink order, he’ll get you sorted.”
“Hey Jo, want a whiskey?” asked Gale as he approached, sizing up the brunette’s irritated expression.
“You read my mind, Hawthorne. Make it a triple? Or will we all judge me?” Jo drawled, glancing at her friends.
“Nah, the night is young. We’re celebrating!” Gale grinned. “ice, right?”
“Yep, thanks. So, Kitty, how are you? Finally feeling free of that douche canoe, Darius? Jesus, I’m so glad that’s finally over. You were way too good for him.”
“I can always count on you to not mince words. Jesus,” Katniss shot back. She knew Johanna hadn’t been Darius’s biggest fan, but now that they were broken up, she didn’t hold back on voicing her dislike of him.
“Well, at least you didn’t marry him. Divorces are messy. Though, you would’ve had me as your lawyer and I would’ve milked that fucker for everything he had, so maybe it’s a bit of a loss. I would’ve enjoyed that,” smirked Jo.
“God, you’re unbelievable,” sighed Katniss, but she said it with a small smile. Even though her bark was bad, Jo’s bite wasn’t. Katniss knew it was her friend’s way of showing concern and care for her.
“Whatever, you know you love me. Hey, is that Peeta? I saw his bitchy wife when I came in but didn’t see him,” Johanna said, gazing towards the dining room.
“Ugh, yes. What a tool. I was barely in the room when he started harassing me about taking too much taco dip. I’m pretty sure every one of our friends knows that taco dip was made with me in mind – Gale knows it’s my favourite.” Katniss grumbled.
“Well, maybe he needs a reminder. You can tell him yourself, because he’s headed this way.”
“Ugh, fuck me.” Katniss groaned, her eyes rolling back into her head.
“Sorry Everdeen, I’m a married man,” smirked Peeta, coming up behind her, a bottle of Stella Artois in his grasp.
Katniss flushed at his response, while Johanna smiled blandly at the young man. “I wonder for how much longer,” she muttered under her breath so that only Katniss could hear. Katniss’s brow furrowed at the comment, but brushed it off. Odd.
“Ah, Peeta. Everyone’s favourite prick,” smirked Johanna as she raised her voice, her eyes flicking between Katniss and the tall, brawny blond.
Katniss snorted. “What a lovely description, Jo. Very flattering.”
Peeta shot Katniss an irritated look before turning back to Johanna. “Nice to see you too, Jo. How’s life at your hot shot firm? Madge tells me your bosses love you.”
“Yeah, I think it’s more so that they’re afraid of me. Which I’m fine with. Men need intimidation a lot more than they realize.” Johanna replied, smugly.
“Well, you’ve got that covered then,” Katniss piped up.
“Speaking of intimidating women, Mellark, where’s your wife? Still got your balls in a vise or what?”
“Jo! Jesus.” Katniss blurted, her eyes wide and flickering to Peeta to gage his reaction. She didn’t like Peeta, but she also didn’t like awkward conversations about people’s relationships. Or any kind of conversation about relationships.
Peeta stiffened slightly at Joanna’s remark and drew his mouth in a thin line. “She’s over there talking to some co-worker of Gale’s. She’s fine.”
“Really? That’s not what Madge sa-,”
“Jo, I think Gale is waving at you – he’s got your whiskey,” Katniss interrupted. If there was one thing that could shut Johanna up, it was the promise of liquor.
“Finally, be right back,” Johanna threw over her shoulder as she strode towards Gale in the dining room.
Peeta glanced at Katniss, a slight frown on his face, which she ignored. She was eager to move away from the subject of his wife. “How’s Connor? How old did you say he was again?” she asked, nervously. She realized too late that by drawing Johanna’s attention to Gale and her drink, she was leaving herself alone with the person she despised the most at the party. Great. Just when I thought I’d escaped him, I land myself in another conversation with him. Good one, Everdeen.
“…Um…he’s three and a half…what was Johanna talking about? What did Madge say about Delly?”
Katniss pulled her bottom lip between her teeth and chewed on it, stalling. “Oh, nothing. She just…she said Delly seemed a little off lately, that’s all. I think she was concerned.”
Peeta snorted. “Concerned. Sure she was. You’re a terrible liar, Everdeen,” he said, bitterly.
Katniss glanced at him again, thinking awkwardly about the conversation she’d had with Madge the week before. Madge had made a passing comment to her and Jo about Delly being bitchier than usual and said Peeta seemed withdrawn and moody. It wasn’t really Delly she was concerned about; it was her cousin. Peeta wasn’t a bitter person. But ever since he and Delly married a few months before Connor’s birth, almost four years ago, they’d all seen a shift in him. He was friendly to everyone (except Katniss, of course) but there was an edge to him that hadn’t been there before. It seemed to be getting more and more pronounced as time went on.
Why do you care if he’s out of sorts? She didn’t, really. She was just curious. Even though he wasn’t nice to her, he was generally nice to everyone else, so to see him so bitter confused Katniss. Not that she cared, though. Because she didn’t. Really.
“Yeah, well, ask her yourself then. Excuse me, I need a refill.” Katniss said shortly, turning and leaving him alone for the second time that night.
_________________________________
The night wore on, with Katniss managing to avoid Peeta for the most part, sticking to chatting with Johanna or Madge or one of their other college friends. When she noticed Madge’s wine glass empty at the same time as hers as they were both pleasantly buzzed, she said, smiling, “what do you think, Mrs. Hawthorne? Time to crack open the Nova?”
“Excellent idea, Ms. Everdeen. Would you do the honours?” beamed Madge, her eyes a little glassy by now. The two of them made their way to the kitchen, where a few other people were already gathered, chatting. Katniss pulled open the refrigerator door and poked her head in, searching for the bottle of imported wine, but didn’t see it.
“Where’d you put it, Madge? Did you forget to put it in?” she asked.
“No, it’s in there, I swear – you know I love it super cold.” Madge replied breezily.
“What are you looking for?” asked another voice.
“A bottle of wine I brought for Madge– ” started Katniss, turning around and stopping, her eyes on Peeta Mellark.
And the bottle of Nova 7.
The empty bottle of Nova 7.
“…what the fuck. Are you KIDDING me right now? Did you open and DRINK that?!” Katniss screeched. “Are you actually kidding me?? Fuck you, Mellark!! Do you know what I went through to get that for her?!” She could feel hot tears forming in her eyes, catching her off guard.
Peeta had started to smirk, but when he saw her face, he faltered and his mouth dropped open slightly. “I didn’t–I thought–Gale said there was white wine in–we didn’t–” he stammered, his eyes darting to his wife’s, then back to Katniss's. Katniss hadn’t noticed Delly off to the side, her hand clutching an almost empty wine glass.
“What’s the big deal, it’s just a bottle of wine, there’s plenty here,” said the blonde woman testily as she rolled her eyes. “Personally, I never saw the appeal of Canadian wines. There are so many better brands from Australia or Spain. Canada’s not even that foreign; they’re like, right next door.”
Madge groaned and launched into Delly and Peeta, shouting about the importance of the special birthday gift to the oblivious couple. Katniss tuned her out as she could feel the heat rising in her neck up through her face. She was already having a shitty day moping over Darius and didn’t even want to come to the party in the first place; she definitely didn’t want to have to deal with stupid Peeta Mellark and his stupid bitch wife; and the only thing she’d been looking forward to was sharing the bottle with her best friend.
And the two of them had ruined it.
She had to get out of there before the tears spilled over and she embarrassed herself in front of them. She turned on her heel and stormed out of the room without a backwards glance.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
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jennawynn · 4 years ago
Text
ADHD Task List Setup
I know I only pop in like once a month now... but I was sharing this on Twitter and thought it would be helpful to a bunch of people here too. 
As someone with unmedicated ADHD, new shiny productivity apps and hacks and aids are both the only way I get anything done and the bane of my existence as I try to make each one work for me... but I seem to have hit on a good system (for now) and figure maybe I'd share...
Step One: Unbound Planner
Part of my ADHD is needing structure, but at the same time, novelty is what excites me and gets me to do things. I tend to try out every productivity app, aide, and journal method I can find because the new thing works... until it doesn’t and I need a new new thing. 
That said, I just bought my THIRD Unbound Planner. Even though I tend to have a couple months blank in the middle when I get off track, I always circle back around to it. It has good prompts and dedicated space for all sorts of planning tools, but it's also easy enough to adjust for what you need. I've changed lots of sections to better suit my needs, like the meal planning section into the homeschool curriculum reminder for each subject.
This is what it looks like blank (though you can see previews on the website itself too!) 
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Step Two: Notion
The second part is digital- the Notion website and app. Notion took a minute to get used to, but it has the most extreme flexibility of anything I've used before. I can build anything and arrange things whenever I want which means the novelty level stays high and my ADHD can be calmed without having to do something ENTIRELY new each time. Extra bonus points- it makes a really great system for knowledge storage.
I've been working on a TTRPG 'bible' that I can use across campaigns, systems, etc. and once I get it settled, if there's any interest, I might set some templates up to share.
Step Three: Life’s An RPG
The third is the newest aspect of the trio. I had tried out Conrad's system but it was too complex. There were too many interlocking pieces and I just ended up spending all my time in the structure instead of getting things done. I had made my own theme based on TTRPGs where my to-do list was a quest board and I reflavored everything to a more fantasy style- anti-racism learning was renamed Paladin Devotions, working on storytelling became Bardic Inspirations, etc.
Some of that has stuck around, but then I found Life's An RPG. It's just $15 and has a great scaffold for turning your task list into something that will trigger your fun brain into working-- and it's actually helped focus me. Of course the key is finding what works for YOU.
In my case, not everything in every book, site, or guide is useful... but let me share what I've been doing: I sat down and filled out the character sheet (my stats, skills, and backstory) and the world builder (where i want to be in 3 years). Then I started in on the Quest Board which I can use to list my biggest goals from the world builder. Each week when I think about what big things I want to do, I can pull from the Quest Board and figure out what the next step is in each quest.
I have all the documentation and all my notes saved in my Notion homepage so it's easy to pull up when needed. On Notion, I have toggles with my 'routines' in them- what I do every morning, every evening, every Sunday night, and at the end of each month so I never forget. 
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Each night, I follow the Life's An RPG advice to pick my quests for the next day and I mark them in my Unbound Planner. I have the big space separated for my big goals, a couple side quests if needed, and the traps I foresee (though those never change for me so I might X them.) This is what this week’s planner looks like for now:
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I use the top section for important dates and the gratitude section to do my Long Rest. My XP Log is stored in Notion so it's easier to see in one place. I realized this system is great for me because I always find excuses not to do things... But by planning my day the night before, that's when I'm optimistic and motivated... plus whatever I'm writing down is future me's problem so it's easier to say yes, future me will clean the bathroom even though current me doesn't want to.
The key is doing the tasks in order. No take-backs. Past me plans, current me does. Then at night, current me plans and future me deals with it. It's a silly trick, but for me it works.
For now, it's time to get started on that task list, but if there's interest, maybe I can share a little more about my Notion setup that looks like this a little further down:
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In the meantime, again, this is UnboundPlanner.com, notion.so, and lifesanrpg.com. Bonus points, if you use this link or the discount code 6FBA5659169, you get a discount and I get a bonus. Of course, I wouldn't share it if I didn't enjoy it and find it useful. Thanks for reading and if you have questions, let me know!
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