#if i had the will | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

blueskittlesart · 2 months

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i’ve started babysitting for a VERY christian family which is great because they pay me a lot of money but as someone who was raised almost completely agnostic it’s kind of insane. the 2 year old keeps asking me to read her stories from the bible. (why are we reading david and goliath to a 2 year old????) the 5 year old told me today that he was going to bring his legos to heaven with him. he also has repeatedly told me that the lego spaceships he builds are stronger than jesus. (not sure what to say to that. do i deny it??? are things allowed to be stronger than jesus??) had to stop myself mid sentence today because i almost told them im not going to heaven which would DEFINITELY have caused several meltdowns. they’re also both completely fascinated by my nose ring

#i also had to tell them no today because mom said no tv and they DESPERATELY wanted to watch a 4-dvd set of recorded sermons #religious children are terrifying. i do get sundays off tho so #personal

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raan-miir-tah · 2 months

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Amal has spoken to me, asking me to help boost her campaign to save her family from genocide. Please donate whatever you can reasonably spare!

#og post had too many notes and too many annoying people #so I hope editing it will give Amal much needed exposure

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razzafrazzle · 1 month

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Just Checking In! (aka Something About Red Triangles)

#well its 5 am but i DID IT #sorry i just thought about how bill turns red when hes mad and had a Vision #i actually really love how this came out. maybe i AM a good artist sometimes #doc talks #my art #bill cipher #gravity falls #the book of bill #thisisnotawebsitedotcom #book of bill spoilers #gravity falls spoilers #the axolotl #undescribed

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queenoftheantz · 3 months

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Here are my Dungeon meshi stickers! I basically thought "hey. lots of people will have cute food themed stickers. And that good and well, but I want that serious stuff too!" So I decided to make a series for the main gang based on sense of self instead!

#in hindsight I wish I had one for Falin too but alas #dungeon meshi #delicious in dungeon #dungeon meshi spoilers #stickers #art #laios touden #marcille donato #chilchuck #senshi #itsuzumi

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bulbabutt · 24 days

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i don't know the etiquette for posting other peoples tiktoks but the delivery of this punchline hit me like a FUCKING TRUCK please

NikhilClayton <- you should follow this guy on tiktok he's fucking hilarious

#tmnt #teenage mutant ninja turtles #nikhilclayton #im like checking he doesnt have a tumblr but yall need to experience the laugh attack i just had #sharing it to spread the joy honestly

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inbabylontheywept · 2 months

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so once me and my wife were watching a documentary where a snake ate like a million eggs. that snake just went to fucking town on eggs. and the snake made the eggs look so good that i kept thinking about it, and thinking about it, and thinking about it, and eventually it was 11pm and i ran out of willpower and decided to eat one (1) singular raw egg just to prove to myself that the snake was surely a liar.

the snake was not a liar. texture is like, super important to me and raw eggs are very Texture so i had another one, and then another one, and then another one, and eventually i ran out of eggs.

i had like, fifteen raw eggs.

i didnt really know how to explain this momentary madness to my wife, so my Plan was to put all the eggshells into a grocey bag, and then throw that grocery bag in the dumpster, and if she never noticed that would be Excellent and if she noticed immediately i could lie and say that the eggs went bad.

except i cant lie very good, and of course with murphys law being such, i got salmonella.

so i threw up a lot and my wife asked me what poisoned me so and i tried very hard to dodge the question but i was oozing shame like oil from a room temperature cheese and eventaully i gave in and told her everything and to her enormous credit she was more flabbergasted than actually upset. she did make me promise to not eat any more raw eggs, which i have stuck to, and she gives me weird looks during nature documentaries now as if desire was the only thing keeping me from eating thousands of pounds of krill anyway i made a joke earlier about being able to eat my age in eggs and my sister in law in law made a drawing to comemorate the moment and also because it was my birthday. she's excellent. thank you 10000000% @cintailed. you should all visit her page and admire her work.

#i feel a kinship with that snake #would that i could be a simple tube #and eat my fill of eggs #but being a person is rather nice too #my wife is a saint #and i promise that most of the time she is the goblin and i am the Serious Guy #but i had a little pique of insanity and you know what it was my junior year of college #and i deserved to just go a little insane #you spent 65 hours a week being Rational and then you go home and eat like twenty raw eggs

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pyroinfusedtiger · 2 months

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Posting this everywhere til im not obsessed with it anymore

#not tagging because it will find its audience #also choleric sullen boy could lay seige give him a chance #anyway if i had to pick fictional characters id make this isabela and anders

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nerdy-arty · 27 days

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Venezuelan Miku!!

#my art #fan art #anime art #anime #miku #hatsune miku #miku hatsune #vocaloid miku #vocaloid #venezuela #Had to hop on the cultural Miku trend #I love Joropo dresses so much

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teathattast · 5 months

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#saw my meme featured in a carousel so i had to share it lol #wholesome #cats #the i can do this is mine btw

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many-sparrows · 5 months

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I'm very tired of this "queer college students should stop supporting Palestine, they'd kill you there!" I watched a hijabi ask a trans man, "but what name do you want to go by?" A butch giving a woman their hoodie so that she could keep her hair covered after the cops took her scarf. Muslim girls making sure the lesbian couple got through the system together. Religious men making sure purple haired protestors got out safe. I don't want to hear it. Solidarity forever, free Palestine.

#i got arrested at an encampment if that's not clear #sorry to the annons still waiting in my ask box ive had a crazy weekend #christians for a free palestine #free palestine #save Gaza

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mayhemchicken-artblog · 5 months

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in the hour or so it took me to draw this op turned reblogs off

EDIT: reblogs are STAYING OFF. op was right and correct and i have never regretted making a post as much as this one. if you want to reblog my art you can reblog something else from my blog. or commission me, lord knows i deserve financial compensation for the nightmare this post has put me through

#art #i had to block multiple people because of this post and i easily could have blocked more #do you guys have any idea how exhausting it is to hear 400 people make the exact same unfunny joke each thinking they're being original #or worry that another person might get harassed over a post i made because of the way people are talking about them #or be harassed/insulted YOURSELF because some people don't know how to fucking behave #you guys don't get reblogs back. you should be grateful i'm leaving the post up at all.

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teaboot · 11 months

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BRUH a dude I know from work came in for the first time in months and I thought he looked different but couldn't figure out why?? So I asked if he'd changed his hair and he was like "BITCH I GOT TOP SURGERY"

#I ALMOST DIED #GIRL HE HAD F CUPS #FUCK

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puppyeared · 24 days

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