#if i got attacked by a bear in my own house and lived idk if i'd shut up about it!

[yo-yo-yoshiko]

Magiranger but Kai talks about the time he got mauled by a bear a normal amount(at all).

[froshele]

In BOTW I was really upset by the fact that bokoblins and lizalfos meet every reasonable criterion for consideration as people but never receive it, even from apparently caring people or the much more problematic monster enthusiasts

these are persons we see making and using tools, making and using specialized WEAPONS and ARMOUR, communicating in their own language, sharing food around a fire, TAMING HORSES! presumably for internecine warfare!

if you interact enough with bokos wearing the boko mask they start ignoring you and you can hang out by their fires with them

in totk it's implied that ganon made them use more tools or whatever but i think they just got to see more hylians outside of human land - or, more likely, they do all these things deep in their own lands where even Link has no reason to go, and nonlocals who aren't forced to the margins in their own home just started moving through Hyrule more confidently due to current events

all of this really doesnt sit right with me because the philosophy of monster design in video games generally doesn't sit right with me but thats discourse about colonialism that i don't want to get into on this blog. you can read serious good faith academic literature about this aspect of monsters in games, and not me, local guy online

ANYWAY my first experience and dashed hopes with totk....

i stayed out of the way of boss bokos because i assumed they must be going about on important business (founding cities? roman legion style? is that finally going to be enough?) but after surviving that hour of fighting only robots, and then encountering a boko gatherer with a backpack of apples, i thought, sweet! surely the main enemies here are mechanical, and now these guys are civilized enough for nintendo to let them play a major non cannonmeat narrative role! they're finally getting gerudoed, or sea zoraed like sidon's new wife! hello fellow biont, I come to you swordless and bearing preygifts!

apparently, they are not. the prompt was to steal from them. new interaction everybody, now we can not only kill and rob the unpersons who don't live within the five peoples' peace, we can directly pick their pockets!

the gatherer i approached to talk (they're a noncombatant peacefully picking fruit!) attacked me, i choose to believe because of ingrained fear of strange hylian men in armour. i ran away. i still don't kill anyone who doesn't doggedly pursue me to kill me, and i have no idea what's in most of the jungle because that is clearly lizalfos core settlement and i don't want to bother them. probably just off map they have a supply of all the uprooted fucking durian trees from last game. they're welcome to them, may their durian-growing ward away famine from their young and their hatcheries, and may the monster control squad specifically (who invade what are probably equivalent to communal housing or meadhalls to kill everyone in them in their racial goddess' name, instead of idk patrolling the roads) all wander as poes until the depths collapse.

The bokoblins in tears of the kingdom seem smarter. They collect hunted meat in backpacks. They build fences. They use crafted weapons rather than just sticks like in botw. It begs the question: surely these are sentient creatures Link is murdering en masse? We collect their organs. We make potions out of them and eat their flesh. This is getting weird

[radioves]

i saw a bunch of other people doing trafficsonas and since its come to my attention that cringe culture can burn ive decided to make my own lol

still on the fence about the skull and bone charm thing. idk someone give me feedback and i might change it out or remove it

this is ermine. his name isnt permanent i might change it considering its literally just polilla’s dads name. also if it isnt obvious hes based off polilla bc my current skin doesnt have much to work off of

lives in a cave in the middle of the tundra because its ‘easier to defend’, which is codeword for ‘who the hell would put effort into building a house when you got a house built by mother nature herself right here’

literal menace. finds joy in blowing up peoples houses despite the current life hes on. also disappeared for the entire first session just to breed an entire army of dogs for the sole reason of He Could

depending on his life, his pupil color and sword gem changes color, while the badges on his sash crack and stop glowing. theres also moths on the back of his shawl that change color, and starting from green life as he loses lives he also loses moths, until hes only left with a big red moth on his last life [queue laugh track]

the beads are random colors but the ones on his dogs do correlate to the life theyre on- btw if your wondering why the heart colors are weird its bc i just color picked from his outfit and just turn the saturation and brightness up, hence why green is yellow and yellow is orange

i am planning* [*see : rotating it in my mind] on making a traffic hc post about how the players make their clothes, but the basics is they spawn in with their clothes from other servers, but as their clothes get torn up from classic scuffles such as Dying, they have to make new clothes with what they have to work with, for example: wool, leather, string, cotton / hemp / other plant-based materials, furs, etc.

as for ermine, he spawns in with his base clothes [sweater, pants, and boots] and has to make the rest of his clothes with various leathers and fur. and for the select few of you asking where he got the polar bear parts: um uh uhm,,, i personally believe that the map he plays in is alot bigger and encompasses more biomes, including cold biomes such as his tundra and also frozen oceans.

its kinda like a uhc game in a way if you think about it, with a bigger but still enclosed map, and the border slowly closes in each session until all the players are forced into the middle and ok i need to just make a proper post for this stuff Moving on

the dog breeding deal kinda backfires on him when he dies to a skeleton while farming bones [he just like me fr [bc he is]]

after that he kinda begins to realize ‘damn. im gonna die’ and starts wearing the mask more, kinda as a threat, bc we all know characters with masks are more mysterious and therefor dangerous. except for him bc he runs at the sight of any conflict as he is absolute ASS at fighting. hence the blowing everything up part

when he dies again his were-aspect starts to show itself in places like him growing wolf and dragon parts and scales and fur showing up on his face and limbs. its kinda annoying but he supposes its useful considering it also comes with heightened senses + partial night vision

and now red life. This is when it all goes downhill for everyone including him

like all stereotypical weres, he loses the majority of his sense of humanity and just starts going literally, as the cool kids say, off the shits- he doesnt hesitate to attack everyone and anyone, even if it risks him getting killed in the process. there is no stops for this man, someone is going to die and it doesnt matter who

yes he still has his dogs, at least the ones that remain, though at this point hes less a commander and more one of them, attacking in one big pack of fluffy piranhas

dubbed ‘the bloodhound’, he attacks mainly under the cover of dark, be it at night or in dark places like caves. just like his namesake, once he gets a scent on his next victim, he will track them down to the ends of time until they finally turn and fight back

the name ‘bloodhound’ comes from the concept of werewolves shifting during the full moon, the inherent violence of red lifes, the fact that hes literally a dog, bloodmoons, his red circle markings, etc. etc. tl;dr its cool

[beelspillowpet]

pure angst with belphie. 😈 The MC hates him for what he did and makes no effort to hide it. The MC, his only link to his long dead sister, the only living proof that she lived a happy life, hates him. Cant even be in the same room without going full fight or flight mode and looking at him with such disdain. Is this a request? Idk man I just wanted to share my rambling ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Alright I had to do this one first because I’m impulsive and it feeds my inner angry brat bitch so thank you for this ask anon lmfaoooo I’d be more than happy to privately talk about this more too, since I feel there are some redeeming qualities about Belphie’s character. HOWEVER, brushing aside what he did can be pretty... upsetting to those who are sensitive to these type of topics.

That being said, I think there needs to be a talk about how Belphie’s character went sideways so quickly in season 1. I’d be willing to do an essay on that too, some day. But for now, we get ANGST! ANGST! ANGST!

I personally am slowly beginning to forgive Belphie for what he’s done, but some things don’t go away...

MC Cannot Forgive Belphegor

Content Warning!!! Angst | Depressive Content | Mentions of Violence/Suicidal thoughts/Murder attempts | MENTIONS OF CHAPTER 16 AND ONWARDS!!!!!!

You absolutely cannot stand the sight of him. The mere mention of his name either sends you into a panic attack, or another means of defending yourself. With all your strength in Leviathan’s grip, you once nearly broke his wrist just as Belphie left his bedroom to head to the attic.

If you thought things were tense before, you and the others were sorely mistaken. You were constantly in a state of fear or paranoia. Mostly both of them at the same time. No matter where you went, you looked over your shoulder to make sure he who shall not be mentioned isn’t following you.

Of all the brothers, unsurprisingly to everyone, the twins were taking it the hardest. Whatever you may have had with Beelzebub was cut short after you found the other version of yourself in Mammon’s arms. His willingness to forgive Belphie for what he’s done was heart crushing.

The rest of the brothers walking on eggshells for both you and their own brothers sake was weighing on everyone. No one was happy, everyone was miserable and tense.

Once while playing games with Leviathan in the living room, Belphie walked in looking for Beel. The memories of that day started flooding back in, and in an instant, you were charging at Belphie with a sharp piece in your hand, trying to stab him. The only thing that stopped you was Leviathan wrapping his arms around you and screaming. He didn’t want you to get hurt again, and he didn’t want Belphie to have to “defend himself”.

Another time was when you were sneaking out of your room to grab a snack. Beel had taken Belphie with him for a late night snack as well, and although he was sleeping at the table when you walked in, you nearly screamed at the very sight of him. It was like watching a bear sleep. The intensity of every step you made almost forced your heart to stop. One false move and he could strike again. And with Beel there, always defending his brothers bad habits, his bad actions, you weren’t sure if he would stand by and let Belphie kill you again or not.

You ended up going back to your room, not bothering to eat anymore. You’d lost your appetite ad quickly as you lost your life before. You thought about maybe if there was some sort of way to make this stop. By now everyone was starting to get along again without you. You didn’t want to be anywhere near Belphie, and you didn’t want to be nice to him when you were forced to be near him.

One days when you stayed home, Belphie would be there. He was always there. You’d sneak out and go to Purgatory Hall instead, and just try to get some peace of mind, less you try to kill Belphie again. Or vice versa.

All your progress of getting along with the brothers was dwindling fast. They were still being nice to you, but now they were distant. Moving on without you. They were forgiving Belphie for killing you, when it wasn’t their forgiveness he needed. it was yours. How were you meant to forgive Belphie, when he was literally getting away with murder?

When Diavolo’s birthday party came around, things went about as smooth as they could. You stuck to Mammon’s side, since he seemed like the only one really grasping how severe that situation was. When you were called up as guest of honor, you were even more surprised. With as much pain and suffering everyone has been put through (because of Belphie, not you.) you thought no one was thinking of you anymore.

Each gift felt like a slap in the face. They were all still thinking of you. They all still scared about you, even after what happened. of course they did. This was all Belphie’s fault. You two were cordial with each other even after he lied to you about who he was.The straw that broke the camel's back was him murdering you.

When Belphie tried to talk with you, have a heart to heart, it didn’t work. You immediately shot down any offer he was willing to give you. Everything from his space in the house, to a pact with him,a dn even his own life. Nothing would take back what he’d done to you, and he could never fix this. None of them could.

Lucifer was trying (and failing) to make you comfortable in his home. it pained him to do so, but he spoke to Belphie about showing his face less still, just to make you comfortable. This resulted in another argument, and after failing to convince Belphie, he instead tried to plead you to forgive him. It seemed out of character for him, but you realized the exhaustion of keeping up the lies and playing games with the hearts of everyone around him, was wearing him down. The last thing he ever wanted to do was hurt his family; his own pride and joy. But here he was, suffering in silence yet again, for something he couldn’t control.

When your year was up, you felt... lost. Life was horrible when you first got here, and this was meant to be treated as a forced vacation. You were beginning to relax and feel much better, much happier. But then after the nonsense with Belphie happened, your relationships crumbled, as did your grades and quality of life.

Some days you wanted to die, other days you wanted to kill someone. Kill him. You thought you were going crazy; you probably were. So leaving was probably the best thing you did for yourself. Returning to your subpar life before the Devildom. Your only real regret was not making that pact with Belphie. Maybe then, you could have ordered him to off himself. Or at least let you do it, slowly.

[stylesann]

Stark’s retirement plan

Steve Rogers x fem!reader

Summary: Steve looks for his happy ending.

Warnings: none?

A/N: idk what this is… I just felt excited about writing and apparently the only thing I’m able to do is twist Steve’s ending 145 times because I did not enjoy cannon version hihi, and welll this is the results tho it might be really bad i still wanted to post lol, bear in mind english is not my first language so there could have some mistakes anddd to finish, any comments are appreciated 💕 💕 -> written and posted 16/06/21 ->I do not own any marvel characters or anything really

Masterlist

“You're a good man, Sam. This one's on me, though” Steve answered his friend and directed himself to Bucky. “Don't do anything stupid 'till I get back.”

“How can I? You're taking all the stupid with you” they both chuckle and hug. Bucky knows something is up with Steve, he knows him and he sees all the signs that something is making him nervous, unsettled. “Gonna miss you, Buddy.”

“It's gonna be okay, Buck” Steve assures his friend. Truth is, he is not sure it will. Steve’s been anxious, every since he saw her that day he couldn’t help but feel his heart ache. All he wanted was to go straight to her and hug her and never let go. He knows he has a decision to make, an important one in fact, but he can’t help but wonder the consequences that the deepest desires of his heart would cause in the timeline, and that itself makes him pray everything will work out as planned for once in his life. Steve goes over to the Quantum portal and activates the time-travel suit.

“How long is this gonna take?” Sam asks.

“For him? As long as he needs. For us? Five seconds… Ready, Cap? Alright. We'll meet you back here, okay?”

“I’ll see you in a minute” Steve tells his friends before he disappears on the platform.

***********

“Steve!!”

“Steve, answer the coms! Are you seeing this??” Steve hears the voice screaming at his past version while you’re all fighting the Wakanda Battle. It’s you. God, he has missed you so much during the past 5 years. He almost cries knowing what is to happen in the near future to you. He can’t let it happen again.

Steve knows his past version is too far from where you where fighting many aliens all by yourself. He knows that what you where referring is a few alien ships arriving from the sky, and normally he would go directly to you but Thanos is about to show up in Wakanda and take all of his attention. Back then, he couldn’t have reached you on time to stop that alien from stabbing you seconds before half the universe is turned to dust. But now, damn him if he wouldn’t be there to take you out of the battle alive.

Steve knows he had to act quickly so that everyone would assume you just got dusted too. When people were to show up in 5 years and you didn’t… well he would worry about that later.

The soldier sees the aliens trapping you in the middle of them and they start to close the circle, leaving you with less and less space to defend yourself from their attacks. You were losing. He could see your movements slower and you were clearly tired. Your breath was heavy and you had injuries on your arms and torso. Steve decides now is a time as good as any to get you out of here. He steps out of his hiding place and runs to you.

With Steve there you both manage to get the aliens down. You seemed to be ready to thank him when the atmosphere changes. What was before a chaotic battle noise, now was silence. That was it, Thanos had snapped his fingers, and Steves time gap to act was getting smaller. He grabbed your hand and dragged you to where he was waiting before. The confusion was evident in your face but he didn’t have the luxury to explain it to you in the moment, so he just asks you to trust him and you both wait until it’s safe to leave without people seeing you or him.

************

Steve could hear the raindrops outside while he prepared a tea for you. He looked out of the kitchen window and spoted you sitting in a small couch that you both decided to put on the front porch of your house. You were wearing his big sweatshirt and had a blanket covering your legs, the perfect description of cozy if someone ever asks Steve.

The weather was chilly but Steve couldn’t feel any happier. He had you, he finally had you in his arms after spending so long without hearing your voice or feeling your touch. He spent 5 years missing your presence, your quirks and your habits. He felt so empty, like a man out of time again. He was out of time with you, except that now he wasn’t.

As soon as you both had been able to leave Wakanda without being caught, he told you what had happened. It wasn’t as if you hadn’t realised his face seemed more tired and older than hours ago, when you had last seen his past self. To you it was obvious when you looked at him, at his eyes that carried the weight of the world, that he was there for a reason. It was clear to you that you wouldn’t had made it out alive if he hadn’t interfered with the aliens and so you understood beforehand what he would tell you, but Steve still had to explain everything else, and he did.

The soldier cried a lot when he told you what life without you was like and it broke you heart to see such a strong man in such a fragile state. Steve then mentioned Stark’s plan of retirement, of moving out of town and starting a family maybe, and he said he wanted that with you, which you agreed.

And now you both lived in a simple house in front of a small lake, that had a lot of trees around which provided the most beautiful sight wether it is a sunny or a rainy day. The house was far away from the avengers compound, you both pretty much spend 5 years secluded without seeing your friends in order to not mess too much with the timeline. But there was one change that couldn’t be avoided and you as much as Steve knew that he would have to reveal in a couple of months, when the avengers were supposed to bring everyone back from the dust.

“How is my two favourite people in the world?” Steve chants from the door. He hands you the tea and hugs your side while you accommodate to his body.

“We’re good, the baby is sleeping I guess, he just stopped moving” you chuckle lightly as your hand goes to your belly to caress you 8 month bump. You feel Steve’s hand on your bump and you see him sporting the biggest grin.

“You sleeping there J?” He lowers his head and whispers to the baby, receiving no kicks back.

“Yeah, definitely sleeping. Probably tired from the party that he threw this morning on my belly. I swear I couldn’t sleep 3 hours straight” you yawn tiredly.

“One more month and he’ll be here with us, honey” you cuddle closer to him as you drink your tea. One more month and your baby James will be here. Just one more month and you both are gonna be the happiest ever.

************

“And returning in, five, four, three, two, one–“ Bruce activates the Quantum platform, but nothing happens.

“Where is he?” Sam asks nervously, wondering if something went wrong.

“I don't know. He blew right by his time stamp. He should be here.”

“Well, get him back.”

“I'm trying.”

“Get him the hell back!”

“I said, I'm trying!

“Sam...” Bucky calls, he’s looking at a man sitting in a log. They both walk closer to see Steve, a few years older, wearing normal clothes but caring a round bag with him.

Sams the first one to approach. “So did something go wrong, or did something go right? You look older, no offence”

“Well, after I put the stones back, I thought, maybe I'll try some of that life Tony was telling me to get.” Steve answers, he knew the past few months made an impact in his appearance, considering the baby wouldn’t let you or him sleep for too long. It’s almost laughable that the great Captain America was taken down by his baby son.

“And how'd that work out for you?”

“It is beautiful. And that’s why I can’t have this anymore” Steve hands the shield to Sam. “You’re the best man for the job, and I know you’ll make it proud… How does it feel?”

“Like it belongs to someone else.”

“It doesn’t.”

“You wanna tell me about her?” He asks seeing a wedding ring on his friends finger, and Steve smiles getting up to go back to you and your son.

“Eventually, but for now, I don't think I will.”

[xskyll]

The BNHA x Chobits AU that no one, not even Mineta, asked for.

The ramblings of my mind under the cut. Warning, it’s loooong.

Okay, so bear in mind that I only watched four episodes of Chobits and it was probably about 14 years ago, and also I didn’t really like it, lol

-Todoroki finds Midoriya laying on some bags of trash next to a dumpster.

-First he’s like “oh no, I need an adult,” because for all his “training,” dad never actually told him what to do when he found a dead body, (this is the summer before he starts U.A., so he’s still living at home). Endeavor is away for a week, and Fuyumi doesn’t count to him (sort of an Aristocats, “she’s not [an adult,] she’s just a sister!” thing). While he’s trying to remember that the police exist, he notices this dead body has very strange ear-like things. He comes closer to investigate. There are lots of weird body types in the world, because of quirks, but these things look metal, which isn’t unheard of, but something about these ears just strike him as unnatural.

- Good news, it seems like a robot, not a dead body. The ears open easily, and there are buttons inside. A power button (that’s right CHOBITS!! It’s in the ear! My love story isn’t going to start with molestation), some USB ports, an aux port, a slot for a microchip or SIM card or whatever, some sort of safety switch (he flips that on)…what really convinces him this is totally a robot are the blutooth and volume buttons (that’s right, Midoriya in this au can charge phones AND he’s a speaker, although the volume buttons’ primary function is to control the volume of his voice).

- He has no good reason for taking this thing home. It weights a ton, it’s awkwardly naked, except for some bandages wrapped around it, which do nothing to hide how anatomically correct this robot is, and he already has a phone charger, so he really has no use for it. 

- He feels weird about it though. While he was checking out the ears, he touched its face and the skin was soft and warm. He checked for a pulse, just out of curiosity, and found one. It looks like a person, aside from the ears, and it feels like a person. He feels bad leaving it in the trash. So he takes it home.

- Cue comedy routine where he gets this thing, not just in the house, but to his room without Fuyumi noticing.

- Once in his room, he hits the power switch. Nothing happens. He holds the power switch. Bingo. Robo-boy powers to life, bright, adorably large green eyes open. He’s holding it in his arms, and it’s still all tied up. It looks up at him and says hello.

- He drops it.

- He apologizes as he picks it back up, tugging at the wrappings to try to get its arms free. He realizes he needs to get pants, or at least boxers, for it, because it’s awake now and very much naked.

- For the very first time, he realizes that this adorable, thin-yet-lean-muscled, between 14-16 looking robo-boy might have been someone’s weird sex doll. They probably threw it away because they found a real person to date and they didn’t want them to know about their underage sex robot. This also sort of explains the pulse; the mystery pervert person probably programmed a fake pulse and did something to make his skin warm, to make him feel more real. Gross.

- He’s broken from these thoughts when the robot speaks. It says, “Please insert memory bank files or turn on base memory.” Todoroki is already freaking out, because this thing wants its memories, and he doesn’t have them. He opens the ear again and investigates. Next to the empty slot, there’s a small button labeled BM. Base memory? Sure, why not. He pushes it.

- The robot goes blank faced for a few seconds. When he comes to, he looks at Todoroki, then the room, then down at himself. He flexes his arms, trying to break the bands around him, but stops, saying, “Safety mode is on.”

- Todoroki finishes helping unwrap him, awkwardly doing so while pointedly looking away, once he gets to his lower half. Once he’s free, he goes and gets a pair of boxers and throws them in his direction. “Can you put them on?” He’s curious if the robot can do something like that unaided, and also he doesn’t want to cloth it himself, because even though this is a robot, it looks like a very cute boy his age. And it has a pulse. He can’t stop thinking about that.

- The robot puts on the boxers, after inspecting them for a second. He honestly does struggle to figure it out for a moment, cause he has zero common sense, but he does figure it out. It probably takes him about a minute. Once they’re on, he stands and starts inspecting the room.

- “Do you have a name?” seems like a dumb question, but he asks anyway and the robot answers, “I’m Project Midoriya.”

- Background info time. Midoriya is not fully a robot. He was kidnapped just seven months ago, coming home from school. It was the day of the sludge villain attack, but he got nabbed before they could cross paths. AFO wanted a quirkless person to experiment on. He did his research and found Midoriya Izuku, a quirkless boy with no friends and little family, who wouldn’t be missed very much. He’s confident enough that he won’t get caught that he titles his new project by its name: Midoriya. Midoriya’s memories are still in his mind, but they’re suppressed. AFO found it easier to backup his memories to a chip, so he could remove them as needed. When they were installed, Midoriya responded best to his own name anyway, so calling him that was also the easiest thing. Without his memories, AFO found him a bit annoying, because he had no social skills or common sense. He needed to be taught, which he didn’t have the patience for, so usually he just left the memories in. He was a timid boy anyway and easy to intimidate, especially if he threaten to hurt his mom.

- The cops figure his disappearance was maybe a runaway situation, but given his track record and the profile on him they’d compiled from listening to his mom, classmates, and teachers, they figure it’s more likely a kidnapping or murder. Fun fact though, he got kidnapped the day Bakugou told him to kill himself. Obviously no body is found, but he knows people go to forests to hang themselves, or put weights in their pockets and drown themselves. Those bodies can take years to find. So while all of this is happening, Bakugou is out there just every day, “what have I done, what have I done, what have I done?” When they finally see each other again, Bakugou freaks out and Midoriya’s suppressed memories are triggered. Bakugou demands answers, Todoroki is confused and defensive, and Midoriya is just, “System overload. Shutting down,” and then face plants to the floor.

- Anyway, back to Shouto. He asks Midoriya if he remembers anything. Midoriya has exactly one memory (or at least, one easily accessible memory), and it’s this: “A man. He looked like this.” He put his hand over his face. “He said, ‘Sensei put so much work into you. Why are you so useless (Deku)?’”

- More bg info, AFO gave Midoriya to Shigaraki, telling him to try to make him useful, and Shigaraki DID try for a couple of months, but he was over the whole situation after basically one day. With his memories, Midoriya was scared and traumatized, had morals, cried a bunch and sometimes tried to escape, and was just UGH. He could mute his voice, but even that didn’t help, cause this kid was just sooo annoying. Without his memories he was awkward and boring and still annoying. Eventually he just yeeted him into a trash heap, but took his memory chip, since it technically contains LoV information.

- Midoriya considers his only memory and thinks being called Deku feels sort of normal, so he says as much. “Deku might also be my name. You can call me that, if you want.” Todoroki says he’ll stick with Midoriya, because Deku isn’t a nice name for his new robot friend.

- So the first section of the story after this is fairly light-hearted. Todoroki has to keep Midoriya a secret from Endeavor and Fuyumi (I feel like she does find out eventually, but agrees to help hide him, as she sees it’s good for her little bro to finally have this (maybe?) living thing/person to talk to and take care of.) Speaking of care, Midoriya is very easy to care for. He can eat, drink, and sleep, but doesn’t need to. He has some sort of self-charging system. Most of his “care” involves teaching him social skills (which oof, blind leading the blind, but they say teaching is the best way to learn, so this is actually good for Shouto too). Embarrassing stuff happens. Fluffy stuff happens. It’s a good time.

- Shouto spends the summer with Midoriya this way. Most of their interactions are fluffy and light, but not all. The first time he comes back to his room after training with his dad, he learns two things: Midoriya has first aid knowledge programmed into him and he’s capable of crying. As the trainings continue, Midoriya eventually reveals that he has over a hundred fighting styles programmed into him and knows over 70 ways to kill a person, but he can’t access any of that information while his safety is on. Todoroki is just like, “Uuuuuh, that’s really good to know…but we’re gonna keep the safety on for now, okay? I hate my dad but also please don’t murder him. He’s famous so we wouldn’t get away with it. Also murder is bad, don’t kill people.”

- Midoriya wants to know if all heroes are like Endeavor and Shouto is like, noooo and shows him the debut video of his personal favorite hero: All Might. Watching this video is the first time Midoriya has a “System overloading. Shutting down” moment. Shouto has an absolute panic attack, because if Midoriya reboots and his memories are wiped, then he’ll have lost the best friend he ever had. But Midoriya restarts and he’s fine. He explains that sometimes he shuts down, to prevent a system failure, which would damage his…idk, hard drive or whatever. He quietly admits that the All Might video is very familiar, and he thinks maybe it used to be important to him. Shouto questions him about his memories and Midoriya theorizes that perhaps he has them backed up, but he isn’t sure how to access them. 

- This is exciting for Shouto, because he thinks maybe if Midoriya experiences more “triggers,” like the video, he might regain his memories and be able to shed some light on the general mystery of where he came from/who made him/what his purpose is. Whenever Endeavor is away, he tries to sneak Midoriya out, so he can see the real world. He isn’t too concerned about his ears, because in a world of quirks, there are plenty of odd looking people around. So far he’s been wearing Todoroki’s clothes, which a little too big on him, so they go shopping and get him clothes. None of their outings seem to trigger anything, except one time when they pass a park where Midoriya and Bakugou used to play as kids. Midoriya grows quiet and seems far away for a moment, but he doesn’t overload and shakes off the familiar feeling.

- Whenever they see All Might stuff he’s just !!!!!!! He can’t remember why he likes All Might, but he remembers how he feels about him. The more All Might stuff he sees, the more his old feelings return. One day they pass a large All Might poster and Midoriya says, “I think maybe I wanted to be like him, once.”

- Eventually Todoroki starts school. He feels bad about leaving him, but Midoriya is content to stay in his room and occupy himself until Todoroki comes home. He’s part computer, so he’s a total boss at helping with math homework. He likes doing homework with Todoroki in general, because he likes learning. This is great for Todoroki’s grades because again, the teaching thing helps everything stick better for him. 

- The attack on USJ happens and Todoroki sees Shigaraki, who has a hand on his face, and he’s like, “Shit, shit, shit, this is the guy who threw away Midoriya,” and he has NO idea what to do with that information. Midoriya belonging to the LoV does explain the “70+ ways to kill” programming though. He tells Midoriya what happened and Midoriya is kind of whatever about it. He says, “Maybe I belonged to villains, but I belong to you, now.” And Shouto is like, “No, no, no, no. You do not. You belong to yourself” and Midoriya is just ????

- I think for the Sports Festival, Midoriya convinces him to use his fire. It’s sort of like, “It’s your power, even though its origin is Endeavor. Just like how everything I can do is my power, even though I was programmed by villains. Being made by villains doesn’t make me a villain. Using the resources they gave me doesn’t make me a villain. Being Endeavor’s son doesn’t make you Endeavor, and using your fire doesn’t either.” Todoroki turns off Midoriya’s safety, confident he has nothing to fear.

- Midoriya watches the Sports Festival on tv (using his blutooth, he can actually just hear the volume in his head, so he can watch silently). He sees Bakugou. Seeing him on screen doesn’t have a huge impact on him, but he does feel something. Fear, unease, admiration, and affection. He’s confused and uncomfortable, and ends up looking away from the screen whenever he’s shown for too long.

- Shouto actually starts making friends at school. Being with Midoriya has taught him a lot about being kind and the joy having other people in your life can bring. Still, he doesn’t trust anyone enough to tell them about Midoriya. He’s terrified of losing him.

- For the Hosu incident, Midoriya is home alone, probably doing something on Shouto’s laptop. He sees the breaking news and is just, “Welp, that’s where Shouto, the official best person in the world, is, so guess I’m going to Hosu to make sure he’s safe.” He leaves the house alone, for the first time ever, and just runs to Hosu. Idk how far away Hosu is from the Todoroki residence, but Midoriya doesn’t fatigue and he’s also outrageously fast, so it’s fine. Also he can see in the dark, but only if he activates his night vision, which makes his eyes glow. Not good for sneaking, but very pretty and cool. I’m not sure how he finds Shouto, or how Shouto found Iida, but I imagine Stain is like, seconds from skewering him and then Midoriya comes out of nowhere and collides with Stain (which is a big deal, cause remember, Midoriya is filled with metal parts and is super heavy). They fight together and at some point Stain cuts Midoriya and he bleeds, which for Shouto is like !?!??! And then he licks his blood and the paralysis works and Shouto is just !!!!!!!!!!!!!!

- Later, after the life threatening stuff is over, Todoroki has some seriously thoughts about this, because what if Midoriya is human? Or part human? That would be a huge development, and also kind of relief for him, because he sort of feels like he’s been falling in love, but he’s been desperately stomping down on those feelings, because he knows falling in love with a robot probably isn’t healthy. But falling in love with a half robot? I mean, Iida could be called part robot, with his legs, if you want to get technical about it. And Todoroki does want to get technical about it, thank you very much. If Iida is dateable, then so is Midoriya.

- Back to Hosu. They beat Stain and, after securing him, Todoroki tells Midoriya to go home, before his dad arrives. Once he leaves, he begs Iida not to tell anyone he saw him and promises to explain later. For ease of narrative, Native was unconscious the entire fight.

- Endeavor shows up, as does the Nomu. It takes Shouto but Stain rescues him. At the hospital, Todoroki explains the Midoriya situation to Iida, revealing that this incident was the first time he realized Midoriya had blood in him. Iida agrees to keep the secret, but urges Todoroki to tell someone. Maybe Aizawa. He agrees to consider, but he doesn’t want Midoriya to get taken away and like, locked up to be studied or something. He and Iida become better friends, bonding over almost dying together and sharing the secret of Midoriya. 

- Midterms! Shouto scores higher because he has an awesome robot tutor. He doesn’t actually care, but good for him regardless.

- Summer field trip time. Midoriya can’t come, obviously. I’m thinking during this time, he decides to sneak out of the house and explore on his own. He feels guilty, because Shouto would worry if he knew, but he just feels this draw. He feels like maybe his old memories were important, and he’s becoming curious. He keeps thinking about the boy from the Sports Festival and about All Might. He ends up in his old neighborhood. He sees his middle school and he doesn’t remember anything, but seeing the building makes him feel lonely and sort of bad about himself. It reminds him of Shigaraki calling him Deku, and the familiar feeling that gave him. He leaves and finds himself on his old street. He isn’t close at all to his old home - he can barely see the apartment building - but he can still see it. He almost shuts down, but turns away quickly and starts back the way he came. He doesn’t remember anything, but seeing that building fills him with overwhelming emotions. The strongest one reminds him of his feelings for Shouto, but it’s different. He can’t place it, but he knows he’d die to protect Shouto, and he feels like maybe he once knew someone in that building that he would also die to protect. Once he gets home, he realizes he’s crying. He decides to sleep and he dreams of green eyes and a smile that looks like home.

- Shouto is injured during the villain attack and goes to the hospital. Once he’s released, he agrees with Kirishima that they’ll go rescue Bakugou. That whole thing pretty much goes at it did in canon, except All Might never found a successor, so he’s more powerful. He defeats AFO and does not have to retire, though he’s feeling an overwhelming pressure to find a successor now, because he knows he’s hanging on by a thread.

- Dorms!! Shouto is bringing his boy with him. He figures he can hide him just as easily there as he can at home. Getting him in is a little tricky, but he manages. From there, it’s smooth sailing.

- Except not really, because living with 18-19 other people (19 if Hitoshi is in the class, which, maybe) is way different than living with 2. Midoriya is discovered in like, a week and everyone is freaking out, most of all Bakugou, who basically breaks down. He tries to hit Midoriya and screams at him, about thinking he was dead and going to his funeral and how it was his fault and having to face his mom and did Midoriya even think about his mom??? As previously mentioned, Midoriya just shuts down and face plants to the ground.

- Shouto finally learns Midoriya’s full name. Midoriya Izuku. A+ name. Very cute. He plans to use it immediately.

- Bakugou’s insight changes the situation completely. Now they know Izuku was once 100% human and something awful happened to him. They end up bringing him to Aizawa and explaining the situation and everything they know. Todoroki gets scolded, cause Izuku could have been dangerous and he should have known better, but he doesn’t even pretend to have regrets. Endeavor would have made him throw Izuku back into the trash where he found him. His best friend isn’t trash.

- Now the name of the game is helping Izuku restore his memories. Bakugou is a huge help, but patience is required, to keep Izuku from overloading. He remembers bits and pieces at a time, all centered around Bakugou. Aizawa agrees to let him attend classes, so they can keep an eye on him. He’s also hoping a school setting might trigger more memories. He meets All Might and he doesn’t even get to announce his system malfunction before he’s out. He sees him, starts smoking at the mouth and hits the floor. All Might is very alarmed.

- Tsukauchi is made aware of the situation. He wants to keep things under wraps though. If the LoV is aware Midoriya is out and about, they may target him. If they can restore his memories though, they may gain insight into the group’s plans. That being said, he thinks it’s only right that they tell Inko. They tell her they have information on her son and make her sign a contract, agreeing not to release any information. Once she agrees, they brief her on what they know and, at the end, bring in Izuku.

- Izuku has been talking with Bakugou about his mom, to prepare for this (he usually wants Shouto with him for these conversations, and Shouto and Bakugou sort on inadvertently become friends). He can’t remember her at all, but he remembers the face in his dream. He knows it’s her. While talking, he’s shut down a few times (which drives Bakugou up the wall, and also scares him a little, cause he kind of looks dead when it happens), but he thinks he might be ready to see her now. He’s brought in and he does not shut down, not fully, but he comes close. He definitely glitches a little, maybe doing a quick reboot, quick enough that he doesn’t even fall, and his voice comes out cracked and metallic when he speaks, and there are sparks in his mouth, but he manages, “Mom?” They both cry and she holds him while he tells her, voice wavering between sounding normal and sounding robotic, that he doesn’t remember her, but he loves her, he knows he loves her so so much and he knows he’s missed her, even though he didn’t know who she was. It’s very emotional, and extremely hard for both of them when they finally have to separate, because Izuku can’t go home with her. She’s allowed to visit though, and each visit helps him restore little pieces of his memory. Between her and Bakugou, he starts making enough progress that he stops shutting down when he gains a new memory, and he starts remembering his old hopes and dreams. He doesn’t remember what AFO did to him, but he remembers enough of his past to feel self-conscious now, about his body. He breaks down one day and Shouto holds him while he grapples with his identity, his humanity, and his future. 

- I’m picturing a scene where he’s crying and Shouto takes his face in his hands and explains all the beautiful things about him that make him human, and he finishes up with something corny like, “I know you, Izuku. You’re human. You have to be human, because I’m in love with you.” And then they KISS and it is ROMANTIC!

- He decides he still wants to be a hero and he becomes a real member of 1A, instead of just a visitor. The whole class helps him design a costume and come up with a name and in general are just like, “Cyborg Hero, yay!!”

- And that’s all I got. I think eventually he would fight the league, and probably retrieve his chip, giving him 100% of his memories. There’s a LOT of trauma to deal with there, because he was basically torn apart and put back together several times by AFO, but they do gain all the information they need to take down the LoV for good. And the Overhaul arc is in there. Izuku might still intern with Nighteye, because All Might is like, “Robot successor? Maybe???” and he wants Nighteye’s opinion. Nighteye can’t see his future, because he’s not fully human, but eventually he gives his stamp of approval. Eri is rescued and that’s a very personal fight for Izuku, because he identifies with what she’s gone through. And of course she loves him and thinks his ears are cute and his glowy eyes are pretty.

- Oh, and the School Festival. I honestly don’t even know what to do with him. He can learn any instrument just by like, downloading some YouTube tutorial videos. He can learn any dance by watching it once. He’s really strong, really fast, and can also operate as a speaker (though that can be awkward, cause it’s through his mouth, so he’d just be standing there with his mouth open). They might keep his role same as canon, idk. They’d probably all fight over him.

- I’m sure none of this was anything like Chobits. Sorry. I just think the ears are neat, really, and liked the idea of Izuku being a cyborg (Chobits isn’t even about cyborgs, lol).

Sorry this is outrageously long! If you want to write this into a full fic, feel free to use my ideas! Just give me a shoutout, maybe? And tell me about it, so I can read it!

[cipheress-to-k-pop]

Harry Osborn x Alexander!Reader

Anonymous said: i was wondering if you could do a dating Harry Osborn headcanon but with the reader being Sam's Alexander's twin sis? (usm)

Sam was your twin brother

Unfortunately, being slightly older than you was the reason he got the Nova Corps helmet

And you were left with nothing

But he was still the greatest brother ever

Since the two of you were the only family you had left, you ended up relying on each other very much

But there was always some distance in your relationship because he would go on these amazing adventures with the guardians

And you were left at home waiting for him

But he still tried to make sure that you had a strong bond

You and Harry became friends because you had one thing in common

The fact that you had been abandoned by your superhero friends

Of course, you knew that Sam was Nova so it didn’t feel as bad

You lived with him on the Helicarrier and knew all about his superhero life

But Harry never knew that Peter was Spiderman

So, you immediately felt bad for him

You met the first time because both Peter and Sam were missing from Chem Lab

So, you two were the only ones left alone

So obviously the teacher paired the two of you up

And it turns out, the two of you make a great team

Which is weird because neither of you have an aptitude for it

And that’s how you started talking and eventually spending time together

Harry was really sweet to you

And you always thought he’d be kind of snooty because he was rich

But he’s really charming

Not to mention handsome

The amount of times he’s caught you just staring at him with stars in your eyes

Because he’s 

SO

“Like what you see?” 

DAMN

“Take a picture, it’ll last longer.”

PRETTY

“Try not to drool.”

And you swear you don’t like him

But sometimes he teases you and leans in and it’s like you can’t breathe

Harry definitely lets it go to his head that you always get so blushy around him

Once he did this thing where he cages you against the wall

And you’re just having a casual heart attack

Sam obviously has his own things going on so he doesn’t really notice

And honestly that kind of hurts you

Harry definitely notices your disheartened face when your twin brother bails on you

Tries and makes up for it but he can’t really fill the void that your brother leaves

He definitely helps tho

And sometimes Harry is like

“I’ve just about had enough of them ignoring us.”

And he wants to give them a piece of his mind

But you always stop him because you know they can’t help it

Unfortunately, though, you and Sam begin drifting apart

And you start relying on Harry more than your brother

Things honestly go downhill from there

When the Helicarrier gets destroyed and sinks, so does your home

While your brother moves into Peter’s place as a kind of team building exercise

You get shipped off to a S.H.I.E.L.D. housing facility

Even though Sam tried to argue with you staying with him

Fury wanted Sam to stay with the rest of the team

And Peter couldn’t house you too

But you couldn’t bear going into the housing facility, filled with agents and no friends

So, when you show up at Harry’s in tears, with absolutely no belongings, he has no choice to take you in

And so, the two of you begin living together

The big kick to the stomach is that Sam doesn’t realize that you’re not at the S.H.I.E.L.D. facility

And he doesn’t seem to care that the two of you are living apart for the first time since your birth

But Harry is such a great housemate

Absolutely the best

Long drives to wherever while either talking or singing horribly to some songs

Late movie nights where he carries you to bed

Studying together on the couch

Cooking together even though he has maids and butlers

And you’re just falling deeper and deeper

It feels like your married even though you haven’t even said that you’ve liked each other

But you both know that you do

There’s a certain intimacy that you have

Like Harry kissing your forehead before he leaves the house

Cuddling on the couch while watching a movie

Back hugs while you wash the dishes even though Harry insists that the staff can do it

Harry is like the protective husband you dreamed about having

At this point, you and Sam don’t even talk anymore

Aside from some mundane chatting in the middle of the hallways

And you’re starting to get over it

Obviously, it kind of hurts

But at the same time, you’re also angry

And this whole time Harry just kind of stands on the side-lines

Watching your brother take you for granted

But the time he loses his temper is on your birthday

He tried contacting him the whole day because he wanted to have a party for you

But neither him nor Peter picked up the phone

When Harry finally surprised you with a gift

Your first response was

“Have you heard from my brother?”

“Uh, no, actually, I tried calling but he didn’t pick up.”

And that kind of hurts because you usually get alerts from S.H.I.E.L.D. whenever there’s a mission so you don’t have to worry about him

But you didn’t get an alert so he was obviously not on a mission

In reality, the team tricked Sam saying that they had a mission

And then rerouting the plane to go to a remote island to celebrate

Completely forgetting about you

And so did Sam

So, you just try and forget and open the present

And there lies two premier tickets to the newest movie

“Harry, I can’t accept this, it’s too much.”

“Nooo, please, I got invited and it’ll be such a bore if I go alone.”

“I don’t know....”

“Think of it as a birthday present to me.”

You laughed

���So, this is your birthday present and mine?? Anything else? Your dad’s birthday too?”

“Actually, let’s mix in our first date with it too.”

And the two of you are in the papers the next day as the newest couple

With pictures of Harry kissing you on the red carpet

That’s how your brother finds out that you’ve been staying with the Osborn’s for 2 weeks now

And Sam tries calling you but you’re honestly so upset that you don’t even pick up the phone

So, he goes over to your place

And you’re not home

But Harry is

And as soon as Sam sees him, he tries to give the brother protective speech

But Harry honestly gets so annoyed

He just punches him right in the face

And all the staff are like ‘le gasp’

Sam is like wtf man why are you punching your girlfriends’ brother

And Harry loses it

Yells at him about how he hasn’t been paying you any attention the past month, left you to live with someone else and basically not even giving him the time of day anymore

And the most important day of your life, the day the two of you were born, he was halfway across the world

Sam finally realizes how neglectful he’s been and immediately feels like crap

Harry tells him to get his act together because you won’t wait forever

Sam listens and goes home so he can figure out how to make it up to you

And when you get home, Harry has a bruise on his knuckles and you’re just like

“What happened?”

“Oh, I fell.”

“On your knuckles?”

“Yep.”

“Okay then.”

The next day you get a call from Sam and he asks to meet you

You’re honestly kind of surprised

And something inside makes you want to reject him

But you get over your spite and pride and agree

When you get to the cafe Sam wanted to meet you, you’re shocked af to find him with a black eye

“Oh, my goodness! What happened?!”

“I, uh, got the lights knocked out of me.”

“By a villain?”

“Sure.”

He apologizes for everything that happened in the past month

And promises to do a better job

All the feel-good brother stuff

And Harry is just so happy for you

So basically, Harry fixed your family relations and became a part of your family

Idk how to end this

The end

Forever Taglist: @simonsbluee​

USM Taglist: @imcarolinashannon​

[bitchiha]

I just found your blog, and I love it already. Can I request relationship hc for Kankuro and Darui(if you write him)?

✎ Relationship HC’s (Kankuro, Darui)

A/N: so I’m proud I actually managed to whip a post out lol, also Kank and Darui are some of my fav characters and I’m sad I haven’t written much for either of them... anyways, enjoy and thank you for requesting this, wonderful anon!

Kankurou

So we can just jump straight into it here: you’re gonna have to put up with all the puppets. Like when you come over to his apartment for the first time you probably have 5 mini heart attacks. You’re shrieking around every corner you turn because there is always damn puppet there waiting for you. Sometimes it’s not even a full puppet, just a puppet limb. This continues to scare the shit out of you when you move eventually move in too. Like it’s something you cannot escape.

Yes, he does have a work room, but his work is not limited to that room (that’s what he’ll sassily tell you as he picks up the puppet you flung across the room because it basically jump scared you.) However.. Little by little you notice that he starts to leave less and less puppet parts around the house, which is really touching because Kank can be stubborn as fuck sometimes.

Also, he loves when you come over and sit on his lap while he works on one of his puppets; bonus if you let him blab about them. Honestly you don’t have to even listen, just make it look like you are. Let your hands play with his hair as you nod along whenever he pauses his sentence, knowing it’s a cue for a little response from you.

One of the scariest things you’ll have to deal with in the relationship is when Kankurou casually has conversations with his puppets. Like one night you came home a little late from work and you heard your boyfriend talking in a hushed tone and you’re like?? Who’s he talking to?? Figured it was Gaara because let’s be real.. Kank does not have a side hoe, he cannot get a side hoe, even if he wanted. So anyway.. You didn’t want to bother him, so you just quietly walk into the work room to peek inside, only to find Kank talking to one of his puppets. He notices you at the door and stops mid conversation and clears his throat, but it’s too late, you’ve already heard him.

“Kank.. babe.. we’re you talking to your puppet just now?” He just stares at you sheepishly, but the puppets still perched on his lap nonetheless, “... There’s no point in me denying it is there?”

He’s kinda shitty at gift giving on special occasions. Like he is just is so fucking bad that you’ve accepted the fact that your birthday gift will be a teddy bear like every single year. But he makes up for it with the random gifts he gives you throughout the year. Like if you’ve been away for a long time you always come home to some sort of cute little puppet waiting for you. He’s made one of your favourite animal, favourite anime character, mini versions of his own puppets, etc. At this point in the relationship you’re starting to get used to the puppets, so you end up keeping them on a shelf in your room. He always gets so giddy when he comes to your place and sees them displayed like that. And loves it even more when you keep them displayed after you move in together.

Sorry sweetheart, but if you do not like his siblings.. NEXT CALLER. Bye. He’s ending the relationship right there. But if you get along with them his heart melts, especially if you and Gaara become friends. Or like if you can remotely handle Gaara pre chunin exams. Yah will do it. He’s head over heels for you. You’re both protective mama bears now and will keep Temari and Gaara safe with your lives and vice versa.

Badass fighting duo. If anyone wants to fuck with Gaara or Temari you two are gonna fuck shit up to say the least. But even on missions too, like you guys can read eachother perfectly and even if you were bickering before the battle starts — all the tension goes out the window and you’re focused on the problem at hand. You can go back to flaming eachother afterwards. Just a little side note: he loves showing off his puppet skills. So don’t be surprised if he calls out “y/n! Babe! Y/n! Over here — This is how the Ant looks in action.” Then he proceeds to iron maiden the victim. Give him a thumbs up and congratulate him please. Even if it’s kinda a very graphic scene.

Kinda fucks with PDA tbh, like he tones it down once Gaara becomes Kazekage because he needs to keep up a respectable image, but still does light PDA. Pre Kazekage Gaara, he would suck your face off anywhere. But when Gaara becomes Kage, he just gives you quick kisses instead. Doesn’t go for handholding a lot, prefers having an arm around your shoulders or around your waist. Slaps your ass too, if there isn’t a lot of people around and he can get away with it. If you wanna make him jealous though, all that composure goes out the window.

KISS HIS HANDS. LOVE HIS HANDS. When you’re at home and you two are cuddling, run your thumb lightly over his knuckles, over his calloused palms, kiss the pads of his fingers... it just makes him so soft lol. Like kiss the scars of blisters or scratches from his work tools and he’s putty in your hands girl.

I’m 100% sure that Kank can handle a moody / bratty s/o. Like you’ve got a little spice? He can take that. Afterall, he handled little moody pre teen Gaara before, I’m sure he can handle you. Doesn’t mean he isn’t stubborn though, he won’t let you win arguments. Which is a problem if you’re stubborn too. You will argue for hours and wont even remember what you were arguing about to begin with, then one of you’ll have to be like: pause the music.. what were we even mad about? Neither of you can remember and you’ll just shrug it off and go out for ramen or something like nothing happened.

If you don’t already have somewhat of a thick skin when you start dating Kankurō, you will eventually form one. If not, shits not gonna work out. Like he’s just a teasing person and he likes to have little roast sessions, they just entertain him. He hardly ever oversteps himself when it comes to the banter, but if he does he’s kinda oblivious. If you start crying though he’ll feel so bad, like it was just mindless teasing he didn’t mean to make you cry. Will remember what made you react like that and won’t ever mention it again.

I think he also tells the best stories. Like he just has the best expressions and voice for it. Not to mention having a jinchuuriki and Kazekage as his brother; he’s experienced some crazy shit. He mindlessly babbles them out to you whenever something reminds him of that particular time. Like if he sees a person walking their dog, it brings him back to the time when he defended kiba against one of the Sound Four. Then boom. He just randomly blurts out the story as you two are walking.

Kankurou is a surprisingly good cuddler. He always wants to be the big spoon and likes to pull you close to his chest and sling his arm around you lazily when you’re watching tv together . He’s constantly getting his hands tangled in your hair because he loves to play with it. Sometimes if you fall asleep while he’s cuddling you, you’ll wake up two French braids or something. Honestly, you’ll be shocked at how he managed to do that at first, but let’s be real he probably styles his puppets hair in his free time.

Overall an entertaining s/o, I would reccomend.

Darui

Oh boyyyyyy... Where do I start with this guy? He’s such an amazing hype man. Like Darui is so fucking flattered that he managed to score such a smart and gorgeous person that he will never let you forget it. He swings you compliments all the time and they don’t even sound overbearing from him because he’s just that cool. Even the way he compliments you is cool. Don’t forget to compliment him too though.... pls be eachothers hype men.

He’s also the loyalist man you will ever meet — we see what he’s like with the Raikage, you can’t tell me otherwise. Like once the two of you are officially dating he is committed 100% to you and will do anything for you. So do not mistake his laid back demeanour for laziness because when it comes to your relationship he is ready to do whatever you want. You want a certain flavour of ice cream, but the store ran out? He will go to every single grocery store in the village to find you that flavour for you. His s/o deserves the best and if they can’t have their favourite ice cream then he won’t rest till they do. Literally. Sometimes you have to go out and find him and tell him it’s okay and that he can come home, you don’t need that flavour that badly.

Handles periods the best too. Like he’s actually mature about it for the most part. Will 100% go out and buy you tampons or pads because like I said, he will do whatever you want. He’s also practically a human heater so he will lay down with you and cuddle you to help relieve some of the cramp pains. Can figure out when you’re PMSing too and will handle it well too. Like you’re literally just spazzing out in the middle of the kitchen and you’re yelling about something that happened 2 years ago, he he just pulls you into a hug and holds you there until your anger dies down a little bit, then he picks you up and tucks you into bed. Idk how it works, but it does. Every single time.

When it comes to gift giving he’s so subtle about it. Like he isn’t the type to do something extravagant and flashy for his s/o, but his gifts are still so thoughtful and considerate that you can’t help but blush at them. He’s observant and he notices the things you like, what you talk about more than other things, etc. He takes all that into account when he wants to buy you a gift and every year he never fails to melt your heart. It also makes him super giddy when he sees you wearing / displaying his gifts in your room or something. He is always so insecure when he actually hands you the gift though, but the look of joy on your face instantly washes his hesitance away.

Honestly you two are the coolest couple in the whole Cloud, like you’re just such a badass duo. Omoi and Karui love you two, Killer Bee loves you two, Cee and the Raikage too. It’s kind of funny just how invested the Raikage is, though. Definitely cries hysterically if you and Darui get into a fight, hes all like “no! You two are meant to be, this can’t be happening!” And Darui is like... sir it was a minor fight, we’re still together... Killer Bee has also definitely made a rap about you two or at least used you two for a line in his rap. It was pretty garbage, but it’s the thought that counts; plus you guys are so cool that the rap just automatically becomes cool too.

Darui constantly apologizes for things that aren’t his fault. You learn to get used to it, but it’s a little confusing at first. One night he came to your apartment all depressed looking and he’s like “y/n, I’m so sorry, but I have to tell you this now.” And you think his ass is cheating on you or something because of how solemn he looks so you’re bracing yourself for the worst, when in reality he just wants to postpone your date an hour or two because he has to help the Raikage with something. You just stare at him for a good five minutes because wtf why didn’t he just call you? Like why does he look so distressed over something as minor as that??

Your fights don’t last very long at all. He’s a reasonable and understanding person, so he doesn’t initiate fights very often. I feel like you guys only really fight when it comes down to spending too much time apart. Like he’s been too busy with being the Raikages second hand man and you’ve been occupied with missions and your own business, you two just miss each other and kind of end up getting frustrated with each other and eventually you guys snap. Like you can’t make the date on Friday and want to re schedule, but Friday’s the only day he can make it. Cue snappy comments and one of you hanging up the phone on the other. Daruis always the first one to apologize though, go figure.

You guys are also another badass duo when it comes to fighting, like he’s super observant of you and he knows your next move before you know it. If you’re a bit on the impulsive side he’ll lowkey get frustrated because he doesn’t want you to get hurt when it’s something he can prevent. Especially if you’re fighting together, like he doesn’t want that on his conscience. Like you will never stop hearing him apologize if you get injured when he could have prevented it. You constantly have to shut him up lol.

Honestly playing with his hair is the best, he actually likes when you try and take care of it too. Even if it doesn’t work out all the time because you can’t really tame it, he loves the feeling of your fingers massaging his scalp anyway. So he’ll let you have your fun, but only you can touch it. His hair just feels so fucking nice too, like you have to refrain yourself from running your hands through his hair randomly. You definitely fluff it sometimes though.

He likes to be the big spoon when you two cuddle, but he doesn’t mind being the little one sometimes — only if you play with his hair though. Like just start running your hands through his hair and he’ll pass out just like that. Really likes when you lay your head on his chest and you just kind of sprawl yourself ontop of him. Sometimes he does that to you instead, especially after a long mission where he hasn’t seen you for a long time. He just lays his head on your chest and loves the feeling of your chest rising and falling gently as you sleep.

He is not that into pda, will wrap an arm around you or give you his jacket when you’re cold, but does not make out with you in public. If he’s feeling needy then he will simply pull you into an alley and kiss you there, but he’s pretty good at controlling himself and hardly ever needs to do that. Gives you occasional kisses on the cheek though, but absolutely no touching around the Raikage. Even if the Raikage literally doesn’t care. Darui just thinks it’s uncool.

You guys have super chill dates. Like just going out to dinner or hanging out at each others houses. The best dates are the spontaneous ones. Darui doesn’t do them all that often, but whenever there’s like a thunderstorm or a rainstorm outside, he will run to your place and you two will watch it together. Like just perch yourselves on the windowsill with a bunch of blankets and some snacks and you’re good to go. It’s kinda dangerous but both of your definitely fall asleep on the windowsill.

10/10 overall. Darui is so fucking cool he owns my ass.

[daydream-believin]

The Never-Ending Roadtrip (Cavern Creeps)

SUMMARY: Reader joins Douxie in the quest for Nari’s safety. He’ll need company won’t he?  PART 8) Douxie is not having a good time, Nari is not having a good time, no one is having a good time.          start -> (part 1)  next -> (part 9) WARNINGS: swearing, lots of panic and anxiety, anxiety attack WORD COUNT: 2420 A/N: it’s becoming increasingly clear that i do not have any control over where the plot goes in this fic. i never have and i never will. seriously the outline prompt for this one was ‘some downtime in trollmarket’ idk what happened

Douxie opened his eyes. He had been having a dream in which he was lost in a series of caves. No matter how many walls he marked to keep track, he couldn’t remember which way he came from. The marks kept disappearing. He’d etch them with all his strength, and they would fade. The tunnels were endless. He was sure he was too far underground now. The oxygen was getting thin. He had to find the way back up. He had to. The others were waiting for him. His chest got tighter, his breaths shallower. Why was this so hard?

Turns out both Y/n and Archie were sleeping on his chest. No wonder dream-him couldn’t breathe. He wouldn’t move them. The gentle snores filled his ears. It was still late, or more, early. Doux wouldn’t be able to breathe well enough to go back to sleep without another strange dream, so he didn’t try. That was okay. He got a solid three hours in, and that was better than most nights. He felt relaxed in the embrace of his small family. Douxie listened to their breathing. It was cozy, snuggled with the two people who mean the most to him, feeling their heartbeats against his own chest. This is how it would always be, just the three of them. Three magic signatures. No one else in the room. Wait.

Douxie tried his best to keep from waking Y/n and Archie when he bolted upright. He failed. Y/n groggily took in her husband as his panicked gaze shot around the room. She didn’t know why he was panicked but it made her panicked. Y/n also looked around the room to help despite not knowing what she was looking for. Douxie gently nudged her off and moved Archie so he could stand up. Y/n reached her hand up to him, silently asking to be pulled up and Douxie obliged. As she stood to her feet, Y/n got another look around, taking in the whole of the room. Now slightly more awake, the gears turned and she realized what was wrong with the scene. Nari.

Bleeding balroths, they lost the veggie lady. The one person they were supposed to keep close, protect form the Order, or the fucking world will end, and they lost her. Granted, they were asleep when it happened, but still. They lost her. Douxie and Y/n burst out of the door with Archie in tow. Douxie had hoped Nari would have just been in the living room but nope he couldn’t be that lucky. Figures. He could feel his racing heart in his throat as the impact of what was happening settled in his chest.

Douxie quick as lightning scanned all of Trollmarket that his eyes could see. Nari was nowhere to be found. He could barely hear Y/n and Archie start calling out the forest spirit’s name above the incredibly loud screaming inside his head. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA. Merlin was going to kill him. The Arcane order wasn’t even going to get the chance to end the world before Merlin’s ghost strangled him right here and now.

They were running through the streets of the village, asking every troll they came across if they’d seen her. No luck. Archie couldn’t find her as he flew over either. Douxie kept checking shops over and over, despite Y/n telling him they’d been in every building already and he was looking like a madman. He was a madman. Dictatious was not any help. Beyond seeing the veggie lady leave the house, and not caring enough to alert Doux, he had no idea where she might be. At least now they knew she’d only been out for a little over half an hour. She couldn’t have left the settlement, could she? Could she? Douxie felt ice water flow into his veins.

A quick check of inventory and sure enough, no horngazzle. Oh, fuzzbuckets. FUZZBUCKETS! Y/n went off to acquire another horngazzle from Bagdwella, sprinting across the town, and leaving Douxie alone with his thoughts. The world was gonna end soon, and it would be all his fault. He knew he shouldn’t have trusted the forest child. He had a feeling she was going to have been his downfall, he just hadn’t expected it so soon, or like this.

It’s over. The Arcane Order will win. The universe will be destroyed. He will have failed the one thing he was supposed to be doing. He had one job. Merlin’s last dying wish. And he had botched it. His short reign as a master wizard would be incapsulated by failure. This was his fault. He started taking risks, he stopped listening to Merlin, he stopped studying, he started making his own path, and now he was gonna take everyone else down with him.

Douxie saw Y/n blast out of the shop and head towards the grand entrance gate. His chest felt tight, and he couldn’t breathe again, even though he didn’t have both a wife and a dragon weighing his ribcage down this time. He felt his own feet carrying him the direction of the gate to meet Y/n but barely registered the scenery going by in a blur. Doux barely registered Archie land on his shoulder and the dragon claws digging into his flesh as he watched Y/n drag the magic key across the cavern wall in an arch. If it had been any other time he would have enjoyed the cute little way she did it. She was like a ballerina, leaping as she made the motion. It was an effort to make the door taller so Doux could walk through it without hitting his head, and it worked. Good thing too, as he wasn’t paying enough attention to not when he absent-mindedly ran past her and out of the gate like he was on fire.

When Y/n caught up to the other two, Douxie was huffing and puffing hunched over while Archie made an effort to fan his brother with his wings. The dragon cool-off was not entirely effective. Douxie wildly tossed his head around as he visually searched the area around the river and bridge. His pupils were wide with fear. As scary as this was, it pained Y/n to see him scared like this. She knew he struggled with anxiety, and had even seen his attacks before, but this was amped up to an eleven. She didn’t like it.

As desperate as they were, with the time ticking away, Y/n decided what was best was to calm Douxie down before they did anything else. She pulled him close into her embrace, letting him rest his head on her chest. Her steady heartbeat was bringing him slightly back down to earth.

“Shhhh, I’m here.” Y/n rubbed comforting circles on his back. “Can you look up for me?” It took a moment, but Douxie managed to grant her request. His hazel eyes were still blown wide, haunted. “Good, good. Let’s take some deep breaths. Okay, can you tell me five things you can see?”

Douxie shifted, looking beyond Y/n’s back. “Uh,- river,, trash, in river,,- tree, other trees,, Archie, you.”

“Okay, four things you can feel?”

He breathing was starting to go back to its regular pace. “You,, your hands on my back,, Archie rubbing my legs- the wind.”

“Good. Three you can hear?”

Douxie straightened, his voice sounding a lot calmer, “the wind in the trees, the water in the river, Archie purring.”

This prompted Archie to purr louder in support. “You good now or do you need to smell?” Y/n chuckled.

“Yeah, I think I’m fine now.” Douxie smiled, albeit weakly. Y/n gave him another grounding hug for good measure. She looked past his shoulder as she squeezed, something catching her eye. She let go of her wizard and started off towards the trees behind him.

“Where are you going?” Y/n was a bit worried about how strained Douxie’s voice still was.

“Well,” She turned around to face him and gestured her hands as she spoke, “If I was a forest goddess, where would I be? The forest of course.” She motioned to the treeline. Yeah, she was right. That made sense. He caught up and grabbed her hand for her to guide him to wherever they were going. He needed to hold her hand. It was her left hand, he could feel the cool metal of the ring on her finger. That helped.

They desperately wandered through the trees with no luck. It’s not like they had a veggie lady tracking device. They should get a veggie lady tracking device. Perhaps disguised as a bracelet cuff. She’d like that it was similar to Douxie, so she’d actually wear it. Or maybe they’d just get one of those baby leashes. Bad little forest goddesses have to wear the baby leash of shame. Maye she wouldn’t mind it, if it was shaped like a teddy bear or something. They’d cross that bridge when they got there. Once they found her. If the Arcane Order hadn’t got to her first.

The couple passed so many trees they started to all look the same. Oak, river birch, river birch, oak, sugar maple, oak, oak, oak, river birch. Every now and then there would be a troll carving on a tree or a rock, that they could use as landmarks, but they still had no idea where they were anymore. Thankfully, it was impossible to get lost with Archie around. Speak of the devil, the black dragon appeared through the trees again, calling them over to follow him.

The cat-dragon led them along many twists and turns in the forest. Every now and then Y/n would catch glimpse of a deer trail, but no signs of humans. Douxie accidentally bumped his head on a tree branch because Y/n had pulled him along so fast he didn’t have time to duck. Okay, so Doux didn’t accidentally bump his head as much as Y/n had accidentally made him. It wasn’t that low. She had had no trouble with it herself. It wasn’t her fault he was a giant. He should think of that next time before becoming over six foot. After what seemed like a lifetime, the started approaching a small tributary of the river. A small tributary that a small forest goddess was kneeling beside.

“NARI!” Y/n couldn’t help but cry out in relief at the sight of Nari safe and sound. The loudness of Y/n’s voice startled the veggie lady, and she whipped her head around to see the others as the joined her. Nari’s expression of surprise quickly morphed into one of guilt, like a child getting caught with their hand in the cookie jar. While neither of them looked particularly angry at her, she thought Hisirdoux was a little worse for wear. She supposed she’d caused that. She was always causing trouble for others it seemed. Just in the last week she’d gotten two homes destroyed, several humans injured, and worst of all, Merlin was gone now. It was all her fault.

Nari wasn’t aware of the tears streaming down her face until Y/n was wiping them away. She had crouched down to comfort the little spirit, “Hey, hey now, it’s okay, none of us are mad. We were just really scared for a bit there. But its alright, Nari. We’re just happy you’re safe.”

The forest child tucked her face into the crook of Y/n’s shoulder. Douxie stood a distance away. Archie was perched on his shoulder once again. He shifted between his feet, feeling the soft earth and wet grass of the riverside. Doux couldn’t shake a certain feeling of uneasiness and his familiar sensed his anxious energy. He had his staff raised and all ready to go if the trees so much as shake in the wind. Nothing happened. But he was ready.

He knew it was irrational, but Douxie couldn’t help but feel like they were near. The Order. Something was off in the air. They needed to get Nari back underground fast. However, he was worried that such a thing wouldn’t stop them, and he would just be damning the trolls and their new happy settlement. He hadn’t been too sure before about the plans Y/n had for tomorrow, but now he was. They would be safer if they got to a heavily populated area. It would mask their scent. They had lingered in Trollmarket for far too long now. They would be overstaying their welcome big time if the Arcane Order showed up.

Once Nari had calmed down quite a lot and the tears had long stopped flowing, Y/n wanted to get to the bottom of the reasons for this little late-night escapade. She fixed a braid on the side of Nari’s hair as she asked, “Can you tell me why you decided to come out here.” She was careful not to word it accusatively, lest she upset the poor frightened spirit further.

“I- I needed to get out from there. It’s so cold. There’s no stars down there. The air doesn’t move.”

Y/n nodded to express her sympathy. “I understand.” She really did. Trolls were great, but the underground vibes just weren’t for everyone. It was easy to feel trapped in Trollmarket. Like the world was weighing you down. The cavern over your head going to collapse at any moment. She stood to her feet, waiting a beat before asking, “Do you think you can go back down there for a little while longer? I promise we’ll come back outside in the morning.”

Nari looked up and smiled, taking Y/n’s hand as she helped her up, “Yes. I think I’m ready to go back now. For just a little while longer.”

~ ~ ~

Once they were all safe and sound back in Trollmarket, Y/n was relived. It was early morning by then, and the sun was rising outside, but they still had enough time to get a few more hours in. She looked up at her husband. Bags under his eyes as always, she didn’t think he’d be able to fall back to sleep after all this, actually. A few more hours of cuddle time, then. They passed by the pub on their way home. That could help ease poor Doux. Y/n nudged him with her shoulder, “Wanna go get a pint or two?”

Douxie chuckled, “Nah, I’m not one for glug. It’s a tad too gamey for me.”

“How bout we make some chamomile tea once we get home then?”

“Oh, that sounds heavenly.”

[imaginingmanyfandoms]

It was over in a flash. Dying wasn't half as scary as they made it seem. But you didn't really know where you were. When you came to, you could see what was going on around you – but they couldn't see you. Just as well, you didn't need to be like Peeves, flying around for all of eternity. Where were you? Where was Sirius?

Where was your brother, Remus?

But then it cleared up around you, and you could see your friends – dead before you. James and Lily, their bodies lay abandoned in their home. Was that... Voldemort? Lying in the room next to Lily? Where was Harry? It was suddenly the only thing that seemed to matter.

“What happened?”

You were trying your hardest to remember. What happened before you died? It was so unexpected, you never had a moment to clear your mind. You were in Godric's Hallow. Why? Why were you there? You weren't supposed to linger. You weren't supposed to know.

Everything was coming into focus, you went outside. There were muggles all around, as well as muggle police, taping the area off to civilians. Your body, cold and lifeless lay in the street, surrounded by people. Was Sirius okay? Where was he?

You walked to your body, and as soon as you touched your own skin with ghostly fingers, everything became clear. Peter Pettigrew had asked to meet him in the middle of Godric's, he said it was urgent – and he wouldn't ask if it wasn't important. Fearing the worst, you had gone. And you hadn't felt any reservations when he approached you. That would be the confusion in your death, it would seem. Killed by a friend. A trusted friend. He had given up James and Lily, and for what?

Where was Harry? Where was Sirius??

Would you be able to see James and Lily? Would they see you? Is Harry okay?

Unfinished business was a way bigger pain in the neck than you thought it would be. How does one travel after death? Did you still have to walk? Or could you just ... move? Fly?

You closed your eyes, sending hopeful vibes in the universe. Harry Potter was the light in the middle of the dark. Your friends had given you hope in this hopeless time. And all you wanted was to keep him safe. Just to be wasted by Pettigrew. Little bastard.

When you opened your eyes, you weren't in Godric's Hollow anymore, but on a calm street outside of a unremarkable house. Where the heck were you now? You peaked in the window, but then laughed at yourself and walked into the middle of someone's living room.

“Well, what would you have me do?” someone's shrill voice came from the other room. “My sister has been killed and you want me to what? Cast her child into the street?”

“Well no,” someone replied, his voice deeper and angry. “But it doesn't mean he has to stay here.”

“I'm all the family he's got,” the woman replied again. “And he's staying here.”

A wave of emotion overcame you as you rounded the corner to see someone you didn't know, probably Lily's sister that you'd only heard about, holding Harry as he slept in her arms. She didn't look at him with love, but he looked safe. It was not ideal – but Dumbledore knew what was best. If Harry was here it would mean that Dumbledore allowed it.

You had to take a closer look. A little scar was etched into his forehead. A little lightning bolt, fitting, as he was some light in the dark. But knowing he was safe was enough for now, you couldn't see Lily. But you knew your friend. She was here.

And then there was your poor brother. A mess of tears and pain. A tangle of emotion with no one around to help. Not only struggling with lycanthropy, but lost everyone he loved that day. You didn't know if he knew that it wasn't Sirius, he wouldn't talk about it. But he slowly began to heal. Or he began to block it out. The only photos he kept was one of you, and one of the whole group of you. Including Pettigrew.

It took a while to grasp the bearings of being dead. You could jump around and visit in on pretty much whoever you wanted. It was kind of freaky, the idea that every time you'd been alone you may not have been entirely alone. But there was so much wrong with the world and you couldn't fix it. Sirius had been captured and blamed for everything, while Pettigrew hid in the form of a rat. Fitting.

You spent years keeping tabs on the ones you love, but you also would latch yourself to people reading books you were interested in. Or you would have to change houses to channel surf. But mostly you spent your time with Sirius. Watching him lose touch with reality and you would have to whisper in his ear, and then he would seemingly calm for awhile. But the mind could only bend so far.

And then when he escaped (and later reconnected with a now teenaged Harry) it was like he knew you were there. He would read all your favourite books. He would listen to all your favourite songs. Or maybe that was more for him. He talked about you to Remus all the time.

It was the night that the group attack the Department of Mysteries. And it looked like things were gunna turn out right until Bellatrix found the group – and like in slow motion she attacked, killing your one true love. You shouted no, crying as you watched him fade.

Remus heard it. He heard your voice and he looked around for it, but only found Harry screaming. But he knows your voice. He knows you're there.

You waited, wondering if you were going to be able to see him. God, you wanted to see him.

“My love,” he said, scaring you from behind. “It wasn't me.”

“Sirius,” you cried, the joy you felt from seeing him was unmatched.

“I would, never have hurt you. Please, know that. I-”

“Sirius, I know.”

“I've been terrified for fifteen years that you thought I did it,” he said.

“Pettigrew asked me to go to Godric's. He met me there, and he killed me.”

“I'm so sorry I couldn't protect you,” he said, ghostly fingers touching ghostly skin.

“I love you, forever.”

“I love you forever.”

[requested - idk what this is but i kind of love it?]

[jiaraendgame]

Hi! Can you write a little blurb about Rafe?? Maybe like his reaction to you deep cleaning your guys’ apartment and maybe you found a number or something? And he reassures you that it’s not what you think?? Idk something like that. You don’t have to if you don’t want to, thank you!

Wires Crossed Rafe x Reader

A/N: Lovely anon I’m sorry this took two days to finish up! Thank you so much for being the first person ever to ask me for a blurb! I had planned for it to be done way sooner, but uh I got a bit carried away. I am not good at writing anything small so oops! This is lowkey no longer a little blurb as requested but a full imagine/fic I hope you like this little adventure! 

Warnings: Swearing, mentions of past drug abuse, baby angst, fluff, domestic Rafe. Non-canon Rafe IE he isn’t a murderer. Probs out of character a bit cause I lowkey usually write the psycho mean Rafe so this was a challenge but I enjoyed it!

Word Count: 3k+

It was no surprise you were up before Rafe was. You’d always been an early riser. However, when you awoke right as the sun just began to kiss your cheeks through the blinds, you knew you’d be waiting quite some time for your sleepy boyfriend to join you for the day. You look up at Rafe’s soft face. Mouth slightly ajar as faint hums of breath leave his lips. He looked so saintly at this moment. You didn’t want to disturb him, so you attempted to slip from his arms, but the motion caused the boy to stir. Curse his light sleeping, you thought. The boy's eyes softly fluttered open and gazed down at you as he instinctively pressed a kiss to your forehead.

“Good morning, angel…” his voice slurred in its sleepy tone. “Where are you going so early this morning? It’s barely even…” He glances at the clock sitting on the nightstand. “Baby… it’s barely even 6:30am, don’t leave me yet.” He whines as he wraps his arms back around your torso.

You giggle at the pout on his face as he reels you in burying his face in your neck. You can feel his breath on your skin, tempting you to lay here with him for a moment longer. However, you knew if you didn’t get up now, you’d be late for the events Rafe had planned for the day.

“I didn’t mean to wake you, babe, I was just trying to prepare for today. Seeing as you haven’t told me any of the events you had in store. I need to be ready for anything with you.” A light giggle escapes your lips.

“ Just close your eyes again love, you can drift back off for a while, and in another hour or so, you can join me, okay? Just because I’m up doesn’t mean you have to be.”

“But baby doll, I want to make sure you are rested for the day I have planned. You know me and the boys can get a bit chaotic, I don’t need you getting worn out because of us.”

It’s true whenever Topper and Kelce visited from the Outer Banks, you were sure in for a rush of excitement that often ended up tiring you out. Unfortunately, you were the type of person who once you were awake, there was no way for you to fall back asleep. Even if you are comfortable and safe in the arms of your love.

The boy was drifting back to sleep, and you used this as your opportunity to free yourself from his loving grip. One more sleepy glance and sigh, leaving Rafe’s lips. He knew he has lost this battle. 

“Looks like you’re the one who will need the rest babe, just sleep a bit more I will be out in the living room when you are ready to get up.” You whisper to Rafe placing a soft but chaste kiss to his lips. “Sweet dreams, my sleepy boy.”

He smiles as you pull away, “I’ll be dreaming of you, angel.” With that, it was not long before Rafe had fallen back into his slumber. You raise from the bed as softly as you can silently leave the bedroom, closing the door with a subtle click. Today was shaping up to be interesting if Rafe was this lovey-dovey in his sleepy state.

Looking around your small apartment, you began to realize that neither of you had cleaned for days. There was glassware and other miscellaneous dishes piled in the sink. Books and papers spread across the breakfast bar from your late-night study session. But the worst culprit was the living room. There were clothes on the floor next to the almost toppling hamper and throw blankets splayed across the back of the futon. 

It’s not that you and Rafe were messy, quite the opposite usually, but as of late with everything going on, you both let your daily tasks slip your minds. The small one-bedroom apartment looked as if a tornado blew through it, and thus you found your distraction to keep you occupied until Rafe was ready to go to brunch. Topper and Kelce were visiting from the Outer Banks, and you couldn’t have them see your apartment in this state. Even if they were used to more luxurious accommodations, you didn’t want them to feel uncomfortable in your home. These were Rafe’s best friends, after all, you had to remind them that you could hang with the best of them even if you lacked the money they had. 

Even though you had been with Rafe going on 3 years now, you worried you weren’t good enough for him. So you always went the extra mile to impress the people in his life. Even though you didn’t have to. Rafe loved you for you, and you found each other at the right time. You saved Rafe from his downfall of addiction. Taking him in when his father kicked him out. Saving him from himself and ultimately helping him grow as a person. He uplifted you and motivated you to work towards your dreams that you once believed would amount to nothing. He proved to you that you were worth more than the words of hate that your mother spewed to you daily. He pushed you to achieve the best, and now you are going for your degree in criminal justice. The final push you needed to go for your goal was witnessing Rafe break down when his father was sentenced for murder. That nearly sent the boy over the edge, but you pulled him back, and that was when Rafe knew you were the one. You two were like a puzzle that just clicked, fitting into place so perfectly it was frightening for both of you.

Sighing at the chores in front of you, you decide to tackle the kitchen first, cleaning the dishes while simultaneously getting water everywhere. This is why Rafe was in charge of the dishes. You always seemed to make more of a mess than you planned to. Rafe would always joke that you weren’t meant to be a housewife. After cleaning up the dishes and mopping up the new mess you created on the floor, your first task was done. Before wiping down the counters, you cleaned off and organized your notes and books from the breakfast bar. These were the times you really wished you had a house with its own study, much like Rafe’s childhood home. It was evident with the two of you living together for so many years that you started to run out of space. As you cleaned, things began to feel better, the atmosphere calmer. 

You threw on a pot of coffee so it would be ready for when Rafe woke up, knowing he needed his caffeine before facing the day. Let’s just say if he didn’t get his morning cup, he was the poutiest and grumpiest of bears all day. You giggled to yourself, thinking back to the first time Rafe stayed over with you. You never drank coffee. It wasn’t your beverage of choice, but boy did you quickly invest in a small coffee maker when you saw him without caffeine. He stumbled out of your bedroom, groggy rubbing the sleep from his eyes, and subconsciously raided your cabinets for a mug. The shock on his face when you told him you didn’t drink coffee still makes you chuckle. He whined at you like a child until you took him to the nearest Starbucks. He was cute when he was grumpy, but boy did his childlike manner know how to get under your skin. This boy was no morning person.

Out in the living room, you started to gather up the throw blankets and folded them neatly, placing them inside the ottoman next to the futon. Sighing, you knew you had to attack the mountain of laundry next. You gathered the near toppling hamper and dragged it to the door so it would be ready to run down to the laundromat, but you couldn’t leave the excess pile on the floor. You grabbed an empty basket and started throwing clothes into it. A mix of sweatshirts, pants, polos, and crop tops quickly filled the small wicker basket The remaining items left behind are a pair of your jean shorts followed by a pair of Rafe’s khakis.

You picked up Rafe’s tan khaki shorts, and they feel heavier than normal. You dig your hand into his pockets and pull out the spare apartment keys that hung on a lanyard. Setting them on the table, you notice a torn piece of paper had slipped to the floor. You pick it up and see a number scribbled out on it. That was odd.

Why did Rafe have a random number in his shorts? Why didn’t he just keep it on his phone if he needed it? Who’s number was this? Was he using again? Your head spiraled, and panic set it. There was no way he’d hurt you, right? Not after everything you’ve two have been through. He loved you, right? You loved him. 

You knew better than to panic, but those three little words swallowed your heart when you thought of Rafe, and if there was any chance, he didn’t feel the same you had to know. Against your better judgment, you pull your phone off the charger and start to dial the number. Hesitating before pressing send.

Ring

Ring

Ring

Click...

“Hello?”

You gulp at the sound of a sickeningly sweet voice that answered the phone.

“Uhm yeah hi, sorry, but w-who is this?”

“This is Stacey, who is this?” The sweet voice sounded just as confused as your thoughts were.

“I found this number in my b-“ you pause before finishing your sentence. Instead, opting for asking what you need to know.

“Do you know Rafe Cameron?” You blurt out the string of words connected by one fast breath.

“Oh! Rafe! Yes, of course, I know him. He’s such a cutie!” The voice rang out with a giggle.

“We spent some wild times together back in the day, but anyways I never caught your name or why you’re calling actually.” She spoke a hazed tone to her voice.

The line was silent. You didn’t know what to say or think anymore. Only one thought rang in your head. Rafe was cheating on you.

Before Stacey could speak again, you hung up the phone. A mix of hurt and angry tears slipping from your sockets. You couldn’t believe he did this. All the times he told you you were his only one had all been lies. Nothing made sense, and throwing 3 years of a relationship down the drain hurt more than you could have ever imagined.

You loved this boy with all your heart, and he shattered yours. Your emotions took over as if you were on autopilot. You watched your actions unfold from within. You picked up the basket of clothes and stormed into the bedroom. The doorknob hit the wall startling the sleeping boy, but before he could realize what was going on, you dumped the clothes onto him in a huff.

“Did ya lose something, babe?” You seethe through your teeth.

The groggy boy wiping sleep from his eyes stutters out, barely coherent words.

“Wh-What? What’s going on? Baby, are you okay?”

You scoff at Rafe, “Am I okay? Ha! I’d be a lot better if I had never found this fall out of your pocket this morning, asshole.”

You ball up and chuck the torn paper at Rafe, who looks from your beet-red face back to the paper. Eyes going wide at your discovery.

“You’re such an asshole, you know that? I can’t believe after everything you’d stoop so low Rafe Cameron.”

“I really fucking thought you’d changed, that you weren’t some arrogant prick who begged the world to praise the ground you walked on, but I guess I was wrong. Can take the boy from the Kooks but can’t take the Kook out of the boy.” You spat your words out.

“N-no baby, you don’t understand hold on just let me explain!”

“Explain what? That you cheated on me with some bitch named Stacey? That you held my heart in your hand and knowingly crushed it just to get your rocks off? Pathetic Rafe truly and utterly pathetic!”

Rafe was visibly upset, looking at you through glassy eyes. He didn’t want you to be hurt. That’s the last thing he wanted, but there was no way you’d listen to him that this was all just a big misunderstanding.

“Baby doll, please just take a few breaths. This is not what you think.” He sweeps his arms up and pulls your hands into his. You sit on the edge of the bed, avoiding his gaze.

“I swear to you I would never in my life do anything to hurt you. Babe, how could I? I love you more than anyone on this godforsaken planet.”

You looked over to Rafe, the anger you held, turning to pure sadness. You didn’t know what to think, so all you could do was listen. 

He rubbed circles with his thumbs on the backs of your hands. Holding you tight. “You’re my person, baby doll. My only person. You came into my life when I was so lost. You picked me up when my father kicked me out. You got me to get clean and was with me through all the relapsing and withdrawals. You never left my side. Always faithful. I would never dream of breaking your heart when you’re the one who found mine.” 

You sigh a shaky breath and look into your beautiful boyfriend's eyes, still just as lost, but you knew what he said was real. The warmth in your heart grew once more. Leaning into his touch, you speak with a sheepish tone.

“If this is a misunderstanding, then tell me the honest truth, Rafe. Who is Stacey, and why did you have her number?”

Rafe cups your face with his hands and looks you straight in the eyes.

“Y/N, I love you, okay?” 

He waits a minute, and getting no response from you, he continues. 

“Stacey is one of Sarah’s old friends from the Banks. We hung out a bit back in the day, but that was years ago. She was a big partier and a bit of an enabler. We would both do lines together and raise a bit of hell, but honestly, that's all our friendship was.”

“Okay... why are you talking to her now?”

“Well, baby, Sarah gave me her number because Stacey runs a well known...  uh, business.” The hesitation in your boy's voice makes you wince. Was he lying again?

“And what kind of business are we talking about? Rafe, you told me you’d be honest. I-I can’t take the lying, please just be straight with me here.”

Rafe sighed as he was about to come clean, but luck was on his side. You hear the rough knock knock knock come from the front of the apartment. Your guests were here. You knew this was his escape plan now, hoping you wouldn’t bring anything up in front of his friends. Usually, he’d be right, but this time you weren’t letting him off the hook. Not with how hurt you were feeling.

Rafe and you both stepped towards the door, opening it to see two smiling faces. Topper and Kelce looked strangely eager.

“My boys! You couldn’t have come at a better time!” The shirtless and sweat-panted boy spoke ushering his friends in.

They exchanged hugs and a few quick whispers as you stood back arms crossed.

“So, do you two know about Stacey?” The words fall out of your mouth.

They look at her and back to Rafe, concern in their eyes.

“Uhh, I mean, we know Stacey from back in the day,” Kelce spoke openly.

“Yeah she was pretty cool, I wonder what she’s doing nowadays. Don’t see her around the Banks anymore, really.” Topper adds.

“Oh, I’ll tell you what she’s been up to. Her and Rafe have been talking ain’t that right handsome?”

Rafe sighs, eyeing the boys. Before he could speak again, you spoke up.

“So to continue our conversation, Rafe, what business is Stacey in, and why you have any interest in it?” 

The two boys are wide-eyed. “Y/N really, there is something you're missing here.”

“Yeah, a real misunderstanding!”

“Oh, not you guys too! I can’t believe this. Why don’t you see what’s happened is wrong?”

“Baby doll, can I just say one more thing before you make up your mind in what has happened?”

“Fine... this better be good, Cameron.”

Rafe quickly turns to his boys, huddled up like they were having a meeting. Mumbles exchanged. Through the hushed tones, you managed to catch Topper asking Rafe if he was sure this was the right time and him replying he had no choice he couldn’t lose you.

Rafe turns around and looks you in the eyes, his hand hidden behind his back.

“Y/N, you mean the absolute world to me. You are my everything. You balance me in ways I never knew possible, and every day I wake up, I realize I love you more and more. I’ve grown so much with you in my life, and I wouldn’t beg for it to change. I want our lives to continue to keep growing together. I want our adventures to bring us to crazy places. I want to wake up every day with no doubt in my mind that you are truly and perfectly my girl. Forever. So please listen to me when I say, everything you are feeling right now is so incredibly false. I would never do anything to intentionally harm you. I love you so damn much Y/N, and that’s why I need to know...”

There is a pause as Rafe swiftly drops to his knee. Your mouth hangs open in complete shock. You are stunned at the sight in front of you as he brings his arm out front and opens up a small black velvet box. Inside, a dainty silver band holds a shining crystal clear diamond. Topper and Kelce beam behind the boy kneeling anxious for the next words that fall from his lips.

“Will you marry me?” Rafe’s eyes glass over once more, but not from hurt like earlier but with pure and resounding love for the girl in front of him.

Tears begin to slip from your eyes. You can’t believe you ever thought Rafe would take away all you have built together in the last three years. You felt the guilt in your stomach whirl. Unsure if you can accept the love and admiration coming from the boy you love knelt in front of you.

“Rafe... I am so... so incredibly sorry.” You sob out hands covering your face.

Rafe is up in seconds encasing you in his arms, laying a kiss on your hairline.

“Shh baby doll, it’s okay, I promise. I’m here. It’s okay, love. Don’t be sorry. I know it looked suspicious. I just wanted to surprise you.”

“I-I still don’t understand.”

Rafe chuckles a bit before explaining.

“My love, Stacey is an old friend from Outer Banks. She and Sarah are still pretty tight. And she happens to be in the business of custom jewelry... she makes some of the best work on the east coast.”

Realization dawns on you once more at how terribly you read the situation.

“I was in contact with her cause I wanted to make my girl a custom ring that was one of a kind, just for you and no one else. That’s part of the reason the boys came up. So they could deliver the ring to me.”

“I can’t believe I was so worked up, oh my god baby. I’m so sorry I never wanted to be the jealous girl, but I was just so, so heartbroken at the thought of losing you... I can’t lose you, babe.”

You stand silently inhaling the scent of the love of your life who you screamed at for trying to surprise you with the best gift you’ve ever received.

“So... does that mean she said yes or?” Topper and Kelce chuckle trying to defuse the awkward tension in the room.

You erupt into laughter, and so does Rafe. You wrap your hands around his neck, pulling his lips down to yours.

“Forever and always, baby... yes, I’ll marry you.” At that moment, you encompass him in a deep kiss, not caring you had company in the room. You were hungry for his love and embrace more than ever before.

You couldn’t wait to live the rest of your life with Rafe, and who knew what the future held for you both. One thing was for sure you would tackle it together face on because nothing mattered to you more than the bliss you felt for your one true love.

[juvinile]

* LÉO  DAUDIN ,  CIS MALE  +  HE / HIM  |   you  know  XAVIER  HUGHES ,  right ?  they’re  TWENTY - FOUR ,  and  they’ve  lived  in  irving  for ,  like ,  THEIR  WHOLE  LIFE ?  well ,  their  spotify  wrapped  says  they  listened  to  SAY  SAY  BY  YOUNGBLOOD  HAWKE  like ,  a  million  times  this  year ,  which  makes  sense  ‘cause  they’ve  got  that  whole  TRIPPING  OVER  LACES  YOU  KNOW  YOU  REMEMBERED  TO  TIE ,  THE  DULL  VACUUM  OF  GETTING  THE  WIND  KNOCKED  OUT  OF  YOU ,  SQUEEZING  CONSTELLATIONS  TOGETHER  TO  MAP  OUT  YOUR  FEATURES  thing  going  on .  i  just  checked  and  their  birthday  is  APRIL  30TH ,  so  they’re  a  TAURUS ,  which  is  unsurprising ,  all  things  considered .

TW  INCLUDE  anxiety tw, bullying tw, panic attack tw.

AESTHETICS :

tripping over laces you know you remembered to tie, the dull vacuum of getting the wind knocked out of you, squeezing constellations together to map out your features, chewing teeth and regret, sharp tongued anxiety like flames at your heels, bearing crushing disappointment with hard taught posture, shoving fists into your pockets, empty trophy cases collecting dust, a hazy fog of shame, reusing beer cans for whiskey, telescopes that see into the future, planets with more rings than people.

CHARACTER  INSPO :

patrick verona (10 things i hate about you), somehow both yuri’s (yuri on ice), jackson whittemore (teen wolf), tybalt (romeo and juliet), llewyn davis (inside llewyn davis), luther (umbrella academy. this one hurts to admit bt theres some parallels there. don’t execute me), haymitch abernathy (the hunger games), the premise of being an antihero, the trope of a bully that stops bullying ppl, scary looking dog that lives next door (my apartment)

GENERAL STATISTICS :

full name :  xavier donovan hughes

age / dob :  twenty four / april 30th

gender :  cis male

pronouns :  he / him

faceclaim :  léo daudin

orientation :  pansexual

residence :  orion avenue / delphinus heights

occupation :  zoinkies employee

pinterest :  HERE !

BIOGRAPHY :

they weren’t always irving natives, but no one can seem to recall when the hughes moved in to the big house at the end of the cul-de-sac on orion avenue. there’s probably a rational explanation for this but no one really bothers to find out. what a fun little moment of foreshadowing for xavier’s life. 

xavier was born in irving some time after the mysterious arrival of his parents. an only child, he would be the sole inheritor of the family estate (something they always told him and he was always like lmao what the fuck are u talking about). there’s probably a second home somewhere, maybe two or three, xavier assumes. makes sense because his parents were and are literally never home.

when they were home they were putting pressure on him to live up to some expectation that he wasn’t confident he could ever reach. he played like 5 different sports as a kid and was really good at most of them, but roadblocks would start to get in the way of that later.

he was also a really smart child but left to his own devices too much. grew up too fast and too slow simultaneously. he had a strict curfew, strict diet, manners classes, everything to prepare him for. what? 

xavier was a really smart child, blessed with private tutors and language coaches, a revolving door of adults to latch onto when his parents weren’t around. none of them permanent, and mastery of everything he did was always expected. 

in high school his parents refined their hopes for him. a soccer scholarship, xavier’s least favorite sport but the one with the most promise, the most room for growth and potential to make good on the hughes family name. he was instructed to quit everything else, even told to fall back in school if it was necessary. he repeated a grade. everything was harder then.

truthfully he’s really good a soccer, but he gets horrible anxiety before every match. it wasn’t along before that anxiety started spreading to. basically everything he did. 

lashed out at most people because he didn’t want to appear weak. was not a nice person in high school at all. had more enemies than friends and the friends he did have weren’t the most well liked people around, didn’t have the best reputations. didn’t want anyone to know how anxious he was so he forced himself out of his shell so much it hurt. 

his girlfriend cheated on him senior year with a guy he was unwilling to admit he kind of loved himself. it was the final straw that broke the camel’s back. he’d gotten a scholarship to a small in state school for soccer already and he played a season, literally did so bad. couldn’t even go to class because he was doing so bad. he got a second season chance to redeem himself and kind of shit the bed with that one too. lost his scholarship and his parents made him come home.

now that he’s back he does pretty much whatever he wants, and his parents pretend not to care (they’re never around to notice anyway) as long as he works a steady job. he’s officially really stuck in life with no backup plan for his future. all he knows right now is that he regrets the way he treated. pretty much everyone.

but forgiveness is never easy.

PERSONALITY :

extroverted. introspective. intelligent, philosophizing about the greater meaning of things. anxious, buried under a lot of deflective techniques. relatively keeps to himself. overworked and put out, most of the time, it seems. big fan of bottling things up and collecting these feelings on his shelf. good at small goals, horrible at the big picture stuff. not organized. defensive of and loyal to a close circle. regretful. slothful, lately. passionate, mostly about outer space and pole vaulting. soccer hater. 

WANTED CONNECTIONS :

people he bullied in school that still hate him and look at him weird when he crosses the street.

someone he was a dick to in school who he’s always fighting with now.

ex soccer team members ... ex track team members .. maybe one of them saw him have a panic attack before a match. keep it a secret between themselves.

people who crash at his house when his parents aren’t home (which is always)

people who think his family is involved in shady illegal shit (they could be, xavier doesn’t know what they’re always doing)

coworkers at zoinkies? he’s notoriously bad at his job because he literally doesn’t try at all but somehow doesnt get fired. pretty privilege probably

people who want to see the good in him idk soft 

hook ups he probably has a few but hes emotionally unavailable. recurring trend in my muses.

[one-abuse-survivor]

before i start, thank you so much for doing what you do;this blog has given me good advice countless times and i really have to thank you for that.

my issues with my parents are that they don't take me seriously. i can literally go up to them and say: "mom/dad, i think i might be autistic or have ADHD (both would be quite likely) can i get that checked out" and list a bunch of examples why i think that and they'll just be "nah, that can't be, you don't seem like that at all" as of i didn't break my mind over it researching it and talking to people who have it to see if we've had similar experiences just to get some kind of reference as to why i feel the way i feel and why i struggle so much with things that so many other people find so easy.

but then, in the following weeks and months (after talking w them) they just randomly point out things about me that kinda annoy them, like me talking out of turn a LOT or me not looking at people or me having trouble focusing if there isn't also music and a movie going at the same time or mom saying that i seem hyperactive to her because i'm always moving my legs or pacing around or rubbing my hands or drumming on the table with pens. things like that (plus a lot more) were the exact things i was telling them about and they just put it off like it's nothing but as soon as it affects and annoys them it's suddenly very real. at this point i'm struggling to talk to my parents about anything even remotely more serious than generic smalltalk and i'm having a hard time believing myself that my struggles are in fact real and i'm not just making them up.

and also on a less related note; the thing i hate most about my parents: if i'm wearing headphones and couldn't understand what a parent was yelling from somewhere else in the house then it's my fault. but if it's the exact same situation but i'm the one calling and they couldn't hear me, then it's obviously my fault too (i kinda get the first one but srsly how could i not wear headphones when they're constantly arguing with my brother in the room next to mine) (either way if one of the scenarios is clearly my fault, then the other shld be clearly their fault bc that's how logic works)

hhhh, this got quite long. i would love to hear your thoughts about this

a continuation from the other ask about my parents not taking me seriously even when i ask them for help with my hardest problems. that ask didn't really go in the direction i had planned but there is so much going on between my parents and me that i really need to talk to someone about

background: i'm around 15-16 rn and have a brother who's 18. primary school was academically very easy for me (lots and lots of great and even perfect grades) but my brother didn't have it as easy (lots and lots of mediocre and meh grades) so my parents really just kinda let me do my thing while they were constantly busy with my brother. so i got really independant and did all of my stuff on my own bc a) i always had done it that way and b) my parents were already busy and stressed. but after my brother got his first computer and got into video games his grades dropped and my parents started constantly arguing with him and taking away his computer and stuff like that so there was always a lot of tension (and i got to a point where i can't handle people yelling; that's what i was referring to with the headphone thingy at the end of the last ask) i don't know if i can go that far and say that my parents kinda neglected me and my emotional needs in favour of saving my brother grades but that's pretty much the way it feels.

i'm now a sophomore (school works a bit different here but i'm the equivalent of a highschool sophomore afaik, here it's just 10th grade) and starting from about mid 8th grade (end of 2018) i've been struggling a lot with self care and upkeep of my already minimal social circle and academic stuff (i'm at the academically highest level of school you could be at my age without skipping any years) and also mental health.

i got quite depressive and started isolating myself and casting away friends and my grades went down a lot, which really disappointed me because my great grades were kind of my trademark thing. but i didn't feel safe talking to my parents because of the huge distance that we built by me "never" needing their help with stuff.

in that time (almost a year ago, our anniversary is in twenty days or so) i got a girlfriend and i'm hella glad that i can talk to her about everything but i feel like i can't just go dump trauma and parent issues on her forever

about last november or so i was at a pretty low point and was suicidal and that's kind of when i snapped and went to my parents to talk so being cast away and having my issues invalidated really really hurt then and made me spiral even deeper and my gf was the only thing keeping me afloat.

i'm kind of a bit better now but i have rebuilt my view of my parents from "idk we never really interact" to "trying to interact or talk is not worth the energy" and needless to say i don't like them that much

oh and i forgot about all the times i got panic attacks and sensory overloads @ school because there are so many people there (1700 students + 200 teachers) and it's loud everywhere and of course asking my parents for what to do if suddenly everything is too bright and too loud and you can't move or talk because of it didn't get me anywhere (and since i didn't know what it was called or how to describe it properly, i didn't really find any Information online either

and just typing this makes me think of so many more things that they did that aren't okay things to do (a lot of gender identity stuff for example because i'm also neck-deep in that) . but writing this has also helped a lot right now. thank you for being there and listening.

and just in case i'm ever gonna pop back in to say something i'm gonna drop a name for easier identifying

sincerely - 🌌 milky way anon

Hi, nonnie! Thanks for the kind words, I'm really glad my blog has been of help ❤️

I'm sorry your parents are making it hard to believe your struggles are real :( you deserve to be taken seriously and to get access to all the help you might need. Just the fact your symptoms are there and you're noticing them and they're interfering with your daily life is enough to get them checked, regardless of if you need a diagnosis/meds/anything else. No one deserves to live wondering if their struggles are worth discussing with a doctor or professional.

And you're right: if one of those things was your fault, then the other should be theirs, logically. But I don't even think it's "your fault" you didn't hear them because you were wearing headphones, to be honest. I think it's just something that happens from time to time and that doesn't warrant getting mad over; I think it's the kind of thing that simply needs to be talked about so everyone in the household knows how to communicate with everyone else without getting frustrated. It's as easy as saying "hey, whenever I put on headphones I'll just text the family group chat to let you guys know I won't hear you. If you need anything in those moments, just text me instead". I do this with my girlfriend sometimes—if we're wearing headphones and we're in the same room, we simply pat each other when we need something and wait until the other takes off their headphones to talk. It really doesn't have to be an issue where anyone is to blame. You're allowed to take steps to feel safe and comfortable in your house without getting punished for it.

But, of course, this doesn't work if the people around you choose to prioritise "being right" and proving you're wrong over a peaceful and healthy cohabitation, which is what most toxic and abusive people do.

As for your second ask, I would say if it feels like your parents neglected you and your needs because they were always focusing on your brother, then it's okay to say that they did. The fact alone that those feelings are there makes you deserving of talking about it and wanting to heal from it; the cause of those feelings doesn't have to be something major, or sound deeply traumatising when you say it out loud, in order to "count". And people whose emotional needs were consistently met don't feel like they weren't.

I've already shared this video before, but if you want some resources on identifying and healing from emotional neglect, I really recommend watching it. Please bear in mind, though, that the video says it's important to not blame parents for emotionally neglecting you, but I don't think that's the message a lot of people need to hear and I think you should allow yourself to feel angry at your parents for not meeting your needs and causing you trauma. That's pretty much the only thing I'd criticise about the video.

I'm sorry to hear you've been struggling with your grades and mental health lately, nonnie. I had a quite similar experience when I was in high school—I used to always get great grades, but my mental health and trauma put a lot of strain on them (as well as on my social life; I lost a lot of friends in those years) and it was really distressing to see the only thing that made me "worthy" crumble between my fingers like that. I'm still trying to unlearn this idea that your grades define your worth, and it's been really hard.

I'm so sorry your parents weren't there for you when you hit that low 😔 I'm glad your girlfriend could help you stay afloat in that moment, but they absolutely should've been there for you all those times you reached out to them for help with your struggles, and the fact that they didn't is emotionally neglectful of them.

I'm glad you're in a better place now ❤️ I really hope you can find out all the information you need on gender identity and sensory overload and any other issues that might be affecting you. Know that you deserve for your parents to be there for you. You shouldn't have to face any of this on your own, or even with only the support of other people your age. You deserve for them to care. You deserve to have your symptoms checked out. You deserve adult guidance to find resources to help you better understand and manage your struggles.

Sending all my virtual support your way ❤️ and happy belated anniversary to you and your girlfriend!

[tardytothepardy]

Fruits Basket - Vol 19

Compared to the last few books, this one was actually pretty mild in subject matter. Nothing too heavy, which was a pretty nice break. The heavy stuff is fine, don't get me wrong, but you need a break from it, y'know? These characters certainly need a break.

In this book, we got a lot of backstory on Kakeru, which was pretty interesting. He seems kinda weird, the more we learn about him. Something's off about his ability to emote. Idk.

In the first section (which honestly is pretty heavy), it continues right where vol 18 left off: Tohru saying that they gotta find a way to break the curse soon, for everyone's sake, but especially for Kyo's sake. This seems to throw Tohru into a tiny crisis, because she had promised herself, after her mom died, that she would never place anyone above her mom, that her mom would always be the most important person to her. But she's realizing that is starting to fade away.

When Izusu first asked her what was most important to her, Tohru couldn't answer. She wanted to say her mom, of course her mom was the most important thing to her, but there clearly was another thing that was rivaling for that first place. She made the promise to always keep her mom in mind, to always have her be the most important, so that she would never fade away. It was right after she died, and Tohru had cleared everything out of their apartment, and even then, Tohru felt like Kyoko's memory was fading away.

As she was walking home, caught up in all these memories and thoughts, Shigure pops up, and says that she's heading to the main Sohma house, which is weird. On the way back to their house (should I phrase it as Shigure's house? I dunno), Shigure mentions how both she and Izusu have made it clear that they're trying to break the curse, and Tohru asks if he knew that the curse was already breaking. He said he didn't, it was just a hunch. Apparently, there has never been a time when all 13 members of the Juunishi have been alive, there's always been one missing. Because of this, Shigure thinks that the time for the curse to break is coming near, that it's the "final banquet". Not to mention, things have been watered down a lot through the generations, like Hatori being possessed by the dragon, but he turns into a sea horse. No offense Hatori, but that is kinda underwhelming. Additionally, Kureno's living proof that something is happening, with the way that the curse just,, randomly broke for him, and he wasn't doing anything to trigger that.

Shigure then brings up Kyo, and how time is cutting close for him, and it won't be long before he'll be taken away (something that Tohru is very aware of). He also says that the reason that the Cat has always been hated, is because it's just kinda the most convenient. I mean, the Cat is the only one that has a "dark form", which is all gross and etc., and it's easier to pick on that, than to really sit with yourself and think about how you're a fuckin weirdo who can turn into an animal, not even by choice, it's just something that happens that mostly out of your control, and because of that, it causes you to distance yourself from everyone. It's a burden, it's really just a curse. He really just keeps hammering down on the point that everyone knows that Kyo's the worst of them all, and they use that to feel better about themselves, that at least they're not like that, a disgusting creature. Personally, idk why he's doing this, but it makes Tohru pretty upset. She was upset to begin with, and now he's just putting salt in the wound with an oddly calm demeanor. After she makes him stop saying all that, he asks her if she does love him, and that sends her right back into her initial crisis.

Kyo shows up soon after, and Shigure just says she's upset because she got in a fight with Izusu, and not to worry about it. Kyo tries to console her about this "fight", which only makes Tohru feel worse. She says she doesn't know what to do, and he said that in situations like that, it's best to not do anything. I swear to goodness, these two are just kinda hopeless.

Anyway, the next chapter continues (as it is wont to do), and it's been another year since Tohru's mom died. Kyo didn't go with Tohru and her friends, clearly it all brings up a separate bunch of bad memories for him. Mostly involving when his own mom died, and the shit his dad said to him at the funeral. The stupid thing is, that after his dad said, "You can't get close [to the headstone] because you feel guilty, don't you?" Kazuma said that isn't something you say to a child, and Kyo's dad doubled down and said that's why he said it, because he wouldn't.

Unsurprisingly, Kyo did understand, because ✨news flash✨ kids aren't stupid. They can understand what you're saying, it's not like an adult's words are all garbled like in Peanuts. Especially when they're looking you dead in the eye, accusing you of killing their wife and your mother. They understand. He understood. (Why couldn't have kicked Kyo's dad in the throat he just,, he deserves it)

Anyway, while that particular thing in sitting around in his head, he runs into Tohru's grandfather, who's just kinda sitting there, chilling. He recognizes Kyo, which is what Kyo gets for having bright orange hair (he didn't do it on purpose but he has to understand the consequences of being a main character: he's recognizable) While they're talking, Kyo notices that Tohru's grandfather keeps calling Tohru "Kyoko", and Kyo asks about it. Tohru's grandfather (he doesn't really get a name, but this is also really clumsy ;-;) says it's to remember Kyoko, and shortly after Kyoko died, it was partially for Tohru's sake. He then asks Kyo if he knows why Tohru asks the way she does. I would imagine that if Kyo did think about it at all, he'd just figure it's because that's how she is, but Tohru's grandfather says it's an imitation of her father, Katsuya. This is mostly because after Katsuya died, some relatives started saying that Tohru wasn't anything like Katsuya, are you sure she's his daughter? Disgusting shit like that. Tohru's grandfather mused that they probably said it because they didn't think Tohru would understand them, which kinda makes Kyo go "!!" because holy crap, he was just thinking about that! how crazy!, and Tohru's grandfather says that, if nothing else, a kid can understand if a comment is nice or mean, but they are usually pretty good at understanding things.

After that, Kyo went home and saw Tohru taking down the laundry (do they not have a dryer or was it just more poetic to have her hanging them on a line and having them flutter around in the breeze?), and was thinking about the things that Tohru's grandfather said, along with some times that he was with Kyoko. Apparently, Kyo had seen (not really met) Tohru before they met in the beginning of the series. One time Kyoko was fretting about having to stay overtime at work, and how Tohru would be alone at home for a while, and so I guess Kyo decided that he'd check up on Tohru, and she was just sitting at the table, eating dinner, and he thought she looked pretty lonely.

Jump back to current events, Kyo's just been standing there, thinking about all this stuff while Tohru was folding laundry, and she finally noticed him. Ack! Startlements. Out of the blue, Kyo asked Tohru about her dad, and she froze up. She then said that they didn't really, but according to her mom, they acted the same. Then she retracted that statement, and revealed that she used to think her dad was a bad man, mostly just because as child, she used to fear that he would take Kyoko away from her, despite remembering that he was a kind and caring person. When he heard that, Kyo thought it was stupid, but it was most likely just from her trying to cope with her dad's death, and how her mom reacted so severely to it, and by thinking of her dad as a bad man, it was easier for her? Personally, I don't really follow the train of thought, I've read it a couple times, I'm just kinda confused by it, but it's mostly that she told herself a story that helped her, and it might have made her seem unaware of things (I hesitate to say "stupid"), so that she could push down her pain enough to seem happy on the outside. Tohru felt guilty about it, but Kyo told her that Kyoko probably knew what Tohru was doing, but it was okay, because Tohru helped Kyoko through a really tough time in her life (and he knows that for certain because Kyoko told him that).

Oh also the reason why there was all the billowing sheets and everything turned out to be kinda useful. Reassurance becomes awkward when you go to hug someone and you turn into a cat. So, stupid earlier question out of the way.

After all that, there is some unmistakably painful awkwardness between Kyo and Tohru, they're just stumbling over each other. Having to sit by and watch them is too much to bear for Yuki, so he flies off, to anywhere, because anywhere is better than that. And I mean, I've never been in that situation (because I'm generally not around people) but it's awkward enough just reading it, I think I would wither away or slam my head on a table/wall if I had to be around it, so I don't blame Yuki whatsoever. While he's wandering around, a woman comes up to him, asking if he's Ayame. Hm,, I wonder who this mysterious woman is??

(But first, a short peek back to the house and-- oh of course Kyo and Tohru are still struggling to exist around each other cool cool, and oh! Tohru just said something very cute and endearing and Kyo had a heart attack nice move my dude, and off in the distance, Hanajima senses their struggles and general pain)

Okay, back to Yuki. He went to Ayame's store to ask about that woman, and Ayame tells him that she was someone that he went to school with. He was the student body president, and he came to be friends with (or at least, he was friendly, there's a difference) another president from an all-girls school. Unbeknownst to him, she had fallen in love with him, but when he was younger, he didn't really seem to give a shit about people. Like, he seemed to be a raging asshole, not even on purpose. He just never took the time to consider and understand other people's feelings, and was just flippant to everything. So when this girl confessed her feelings to Ayame, he was decently surprised (kinda. If he was anywhere as popular as Yuki is in school, he probably had people confessing to him all the time, but unlike Yuki, Ayame probably just used that to boost his ego. What I'm saying is that it wouldn't really be a surprise to him; I have a feeling that he'd heard it a lot throughout high school), gave a "Oh, that's nice. What's your name again?" which was a huge blow to the girl. They'd been friends for a while, which she said. He then proceeded to say, "Oh, well then I guess your personality was so dull that I couldn't be bothered to remember!" Holy fuck. This is just getting worse and worse. Never mind the fact that Shigure and Hatori were there too, this wasn't just Ayame and the girl, and Shigure was snickering and poorly attempting to hide it. Hatori finally made them stop while the girl ran off, and Ayame had the gall to ask why. Dude. Wow.

It took him a while to fully understand what had happened, and how acting that way can really hurt someone, until he met Mine, the girl who works with him in the costume shop. (She's pretty distinctive in that she's always wearing a maid costume. She's enthusiastic about costumes) Yuki asked if Mine was Ayame's girlfriend, and Ayame said that she was, though they didn't make the biggest deal out of it. After going through his few minutes of Intense Retrospective, Ayame said (dramatically, you know him) that he hopes that moment hasn't traumatized her or affected her poorly, and Yuki said that she actually seemed pretty happy, if anything she was embarrassed, but it seemed like she had a husband and kid, so it could be guessed that she moved on from that incident. Yuki then tried to ask if Mine knows about the curse, but Ayame skillfully swerved around that by entirely ignoring the question, and Mine had come back from the store, so that conversation was over. But, when she came back, another followed, none other than Kakeru, who apparently is pretty friendly with Mine and Ayame, since the two of them came to the school during the "Sorta Cinderella" play to provide costumes.

While Kakeru was there, he briefly brought up Machi, and so she was brought over as well. That's only significant because she saw something she liked, and it pops up again later. Slightly later in this book, but more later in the series. It's a whole thing.

We also get a short little peek at what Kyo and Tohru are doing at the end of the chapter. I guess they just went out for shopping and stuff, and came across a place with lots of cats, who were quite excited to see Kyo. (Kyo was less excited to see the cats, it's probably for the better that they're separated by glass.)

The next chapter starts with Shigure at the main Sohma house, where apparently Akito has been stuck in her room for so long, asking if she thinks the world will change around her if she just stays in there long enough. He then leaves, and Akito says, "Fine! I don't care anymore!" (which, statistically speaking, almost always means that they still care), but Shigure doesn't bother with it. Being stubborn in this situation isn't going to help anything, but it's just not worth arguing over.

The scene jumps to school, and apparently Momiji's gotten a hell of a growth spurt, now he's all tall and tall, and he doesn't wear as much cutesy stuff. It also looks like he got a crush on Tohru, but Tohru would most likely quietly tuck Momiji into the friendzone like, so fast. I honestly doubt Momiji would actually try anything to get Tohru's attention, but later in the book he taunts Kyo a little bit, basically saying, "You better figure out your situation with Tohru bc I also l-l-like her lots <3" (After which Kyo has a mild crisis like "Holy shit does everyone know?? What the fuck??")

Tohru and Momiji run into Yuki and Haru at school, and for some reason they're all gonna go back home and get ice cream. Idk why, I guess they just felt like it.

Back at home itself, Kyo walks in and just finds Kisa sitting at the table. She flustered, he's confused ("why tf is she here what's going on?"), and Hiro pops out of nowhere to defuse a situation that wasn't occurring. Anyway, Kyo starts to walk off before Kisa says Hello!, and he's just like, "...hi. Anyway." and I'm just saying any of this bc it was so fuckin funny to me, idk why Kisa was acting like that, that might just be how she is, I've forgotten, but yeah.

Swerving back momentarily to the main Sohma house, Hatori's asking Shigure why he's always so mean to Akito. Would it really be so bad to just be nice for once? Shigure's pretty indifferent to it, especially when he said that Hatori's niceness or Kureno's niceness are more genuine, but he just can't fake that stuff, he doesn't care. He knows he's an annoying lil shit, and he doesn't seem to want to take any steps towards fixing that. After all, it's not his job to make Akito happy. (seriously though what's up with this whiplash between here and Tohru and Co. it's kinda weird.)

Let's just switch over to the last main chunk of the book, because I don't want to repeat myself too many times. This is the one that focuses on Kakeru, and his general weirdness. So he has a girlfriend, her name is Komaki Nakao. Just,, keep that in mind, I guess, so that I'm not saying "Kakeru's girlfriend" far too many times.

Anyway, Kakeru and Yuki head to the student council room, and Yuki gives Machi a little apology gift for having to deal with Ayame and Mine at the costume shop. Kimi complains about not getting something, which Naohito is irritated by (I think he lives to be irritated). She nabs the bag, opens it, and what is inside but a little Mogeta paper weight dude, a smaller version of the Mogeta doll that Ayame had in his shop that she was interested in (see I told you it was relevant), and she likes it a lot. Yuki can somehow tell by her waving it around in the air, idk how but he knows her better than I do. (Seeing as they're all in their fictional universe and I, it turns out, am not)

We also got a mini backstory into why Kimi is the way she is. It's because one time in middle school, a group of girls went up to her and said, "You think you can just float on by just because you're pretty and popular with boys?" and Kimi heartedly agreed, and just,,, didn't change. In case you were wondering.

Moving onto the part specifically about Kakeru, he used to have a thing against Tohru, a while back. When Kyoko got hit by that car, it turns out that the driver died as well, and that driver was Komaki's dad. So when Tohru and Kakeru ran into each other at the graveyard place, he basically was like, "Don't you dare think you can be the most sad in this situation, because someone else got hurt, so that means you can't be in as much pain as they are," completely out of the blue. Of course, Tohru didn't say anything against it, she wouldn't do that normally, and at the time she was still heavily mourning the death of her mother. He told Komaki of what he said to Tohru, reasoning that, like he said, she can't be the one most sad here, someone else has died. He saw her go about school, smiling and laughing, clearly she has to be faking her misery (rather than,, idk,, coping,,, and trying to get through life as a sudden orphan,,, idk,,), but Komaki didn't take it well, saying that you can't make a competition of something like being sad, or mourning. Him going out of his way to say that to Tohru did not help. That confused Kakeru initially, because he thought they were both on the same page. He did apologize, when they ran into each other later, completely owning up to his shit, which is nice. It's nice when people are accountable for their actions.

Back to Yuki and Machi for a second, Machi didn't have a chance to thank Yuki for the tiny Mogeta after she first got it, but she did like the gift. She tried to ask for what Yuki wanted, but all he said was self-confidence and fertilizer. (Does she know that he has a garden? I don't think she knows, that would probably seem very odd out of context.)

I think I'm gonna end that there. I have four more books left, so it's ending soon, but given how infrequently I actually sit down and write these, I just hope I'll be able to finish before they have to be taken back to the library.

[loudmouthcd]

introducing . .  MALI CHUSUK . CIS WOMAN . 21 YEARS OLD . HEALTH AND SPORTS SCIENCE MAJOR . GIRLS SOCCER TEAM CAPTAIN .

hello hello !! im so excited to be here ! my name is g , and u can find me on my musings blog @ pocmuzings if u ever want to hmu ! i’m 23 and in the aest timezone , so ill be on at pretty random hours between working my 9-5 ! i’m a cis woman , and use she / her pronouns . i’m a proud brown beautiful woman ( im indian ) !  if u would like my discord , feel free to ask ! i’m a horror movie enthusiast , and would d*e for any poc in the entire world . . 

i’m currently trying to figure out where the heck my sidebar links have gone on this theme . . so pls Bear with me fkjnfnjkfj . ( help . . help . . they’re in the theme preview idk what i did ) 

here’s mali , she’s a muse i’ve always wanted to play but never been able to !

inspiration for her is mandy milkovich from shameless , rosa diaz from b99 , rebeca from elite , kiara from outer banks and viola from shes the man

mali was raised in a house filled with boys , and her father was quite strict and determined . her relationship with her father has never been very personal, but more so almost like a business deal , or like a coach and his student 

mali was quite active as a child , and quite energetic . she was always running around and bouncing off walls - it drove her father wild because he could never make her sit still , whilst also trying to raise her older brothers at the same time

because of this , mali kinda took to her own devices . she was introduced to soccer at school , and that was her first love . she found herself playing it at every lunch break , or rolling the ball under the desk during class time . it helped with her jitteriness 

it took a year or two before her father realised that she was quite keen on soccer , and she was good at it - and he was overjoyed at the talent she had when it came to playing . she was a strong striker and attacker , but she was also quite aggressive and competitive on the field . she didn’t really have much etiquette when it came to the game , and she would play dirty at times . this . . only made her father even happier . suddenly he went from barely noticing her , to being at every soccer practice and game she had . he bought her the best soccer cleats he could afford , and pushed for her to win every game and score as many goals as possible . he went from not being very invested in mali , as the only girl in the family ( he didn’t know what to do with a girl ) , to being her number one fan

at first it was great . . but then . . her father got a little overbearing and controlling. if she didn’t make a shot , she could feel his disappointment radiating from a mile away . if she allowed someone to trip or foul her , her father would berate her in the car for not having been more intuitive . her father pushed her to be more and more competitive and the best she could be . mali still thoroughly loved soccer , but she started to find it slightly draining . 

whenever she had a second of time outside of studying , her father would be making her run drills or shoot goals in the backyard . she never really got a lot of time to be by herself or do stuff she wanted ( like just normal teenage girl stuff . . getting crushes on people , going to house parties , having her first beer . . ) 

mali has spent majority of her time either with her brothers and her father ( the entire house is pure chaos . messy . loud burping . video games . yelling across rooms to each other . there’s constant noise at all hours of the day ) , or hanging out with her fellow soccer team players ( sometimes they got along with mali , sometimes they saw her as too much of a ball hog or taking the game ‘ too seriously ‘ ) . mali hasn’t really had a chance to develop many friendships outside of this , and it’s beginning to really effect her 

mali has decided to take somewhat of a step back from soccer ( and the competitiveness of it ) , but she’s also not telling her father about that . mali misses having FUN with playing , instead of seeing it as a sport and chore .

she also wants to have the full college experience . her entire first year was dedicated to soccer and getting used to college and living out of home for the first time . this new independency is fantastic , but mali has no idea what to do with it . she wants to live . really live . really get the full experience .

mali really wants to be more ‘ feminine ‘ . she wants to know how to do boss eyeliner , and wear pretty dresses with heels . at the moment , her wardrobe consists of baggy sweaters , ripped jeans , and a lot of sweatpants . she finds woman to be so so beautiful . . but looks at herself and sees a Gremlin . . oh to be a Woman . . wow . . 

mali can be described as . . . very very blunt and loudmouthed . a bi disaster . chaotic and messy . competitive and driven , but also very blasé and careless at times ( reckless may be a better word ) . she’s very spontaneous , and always up for literally anything ( if u wanna get a burrito at 2am , mali will come . if you want to roadtrip across the state , mali will ride shotgun . she never says no ) 

mali is very sick of being seen as ‘ one of the dudes ‘ or ‘ one of the guys ‘ , she especially wants to be making more female friends and have more females in her life , because . . she’s literally never had many that weren’t on the soccer team with her , or her own competition !

connections ( but also pls i will fill any connection u WANT )

trainwreck meet trainwreck : give me two disaster bastards ! together they are absolute chaos ! they are very similair in that they are both abrasive and intense and very high energy . they usually will encourage each others bad behaviours or be somewhat of a bad influence to each other 

‘ one of the boys ‘ : give me a male friend who literally sees mali as another one of the guys . it irks mali sometimes and she has to remind them , hey  . . im a girl too , and they’re always like ‘ yeah but ur not a GIRL girl ‘ , and that lowkey grinds her gears . SHE WANTS TO BE A GIRL GIRL

soft females : please . . my god . . give me the softest sweetest gal to mali’s absolute demonic energy

soccer players : 100000% believe mali has challenged ur character to an impromptu game of soccer at one point . it doesn’t matter if ur not in the same league or team as mali . if u play soccer for even one second , she will want to size u up and try Beat u at it . 

childhood friends : i ain’t never seen two pretty childhood friends . . no i’m kidding , but i do love childhood friends so SO much

ride or die : I LOVE RIDE OR DIES . GIVE ME TWO PEOPLE WHO WOULD DO ANYTHING FOR EACH OTHER AT ANY TIME . THEY’D DROP ENTIRE WORLDS FOR EACH OTHER

siblings but not by blood : they bicker , they rant , they get frustrated . . but they always always come back to each other . they can call each other an asshole then text each other ten mins later and be like ‘ taco bell ? :) ‘ dskjnfdnjk

watch it , bitch : mali is . . a Lot . she’s very intense and loud , and she has no manners . she’s very competitive and aggressive at times and i completely understand why that isnt everyones cup of tea ! lets get some negative connections up in here !

bi bi bi : give me hookups . past . present .emerging . future . let mali be a hoe , she deserves it . she deserves the college experience

party in the usa : whos gonna introduce mali to alcohol n partying and having  a Wild As Heck night ?

outer banks : pls pls pls pls PLEASE give me an outer banks - esque squad . total idiots . absolute morons ..  there’s not a single brain cell between them  . . 

mali , you look like shit : please teach her how to not wear the same sweatshirt 10 days in a row . pls clean her up . pls show her how to be Pretty . make her over . . . i beg of u . . 

older sister : honestly kinda like the above plot but i’d love for a Wise Woman to just . . be a mentor and guide to mali and be an amazing friend to her 

GIRL SQUAD : i literally love female friendships so muhc . . its smth that can be so personal . . but really my god . give me and mali a bunch of females in her life , shes never really had that before and she Deserves it 

pain in my ass : they both irritate each other endlessly . they’re both too similair , maybe ,and that’s why they clash . a lot of it is ‘ harmless teasing ‘ and ‘ banter ‘ for the most part , but they literally fight like an old married couple around each other .

[charmed-asylum]

👨‍🍳# FOODIE👨‍🍳

#Foodie, Part 2

Summary: Something happening in Easter Hills. Something that effecting everyone under the surface. Could this just be a phase a trick that no one can shack off? Is this something that will pass with another or can we all be heading for destruction

Declaimer: #Foodie has some curse words, blood, making out, and maybe a dead body or 2??. Also, I do have dyslexia who happens to do her own proof reading so be easy with me!!!

A/N:So who would think after doing a love story I go be switching it up to some sci-fi. Let me know what you think or want to be added to the taglist. Or simple to sit my butt down and stop with the dramatics xoxo Tia

MASTER LIST // Previous Chapter (1) 

Tagged: @weapinggwillowss​ @kittykatlow​ @alagalaska @deansblackbeauty

2 weeks later 

My fingers intertwined with his as he locks and kisses them. He doesn’t know I know but he a snuggle monster the reject monster from Sesame Street. Another secret I love it. We haven’t had much time as I will hope with one another. Even though he was back from the war he still was working as deputy while he was home. I pout like a two-year-old who got denied a brand new toy from a toy store. But we made it work. He moves me close as he whispers praise in my ear in his deep voice that makes me shiver a cool chill.

I only had 15 minutes left of my break with him. God how I miss him. After Janet left me teary-eyed in the abandoned hallway apart of me felt I was in old westerns like I was waiting for her around and draw her guy. That night he came over and hold me as I cried into his strong chest hands wrap as far as I could around his broad shoulders. Each night I founded my self there. Even if I was asleep he sneaks in and holds me. Letting me know he was never gonna leave me. 

He looks down into my eye out time coming to an end with a bit of sorrow regret. Hopping up so I can reach his face I pepper kiss him with each hop. Watching as his smile spread from ear to ear he loves when I did this be my silly tiny self. Knowing he always be my savior. His eyes were dark like midnight sky but were as bright as the sun. Others wouldn’t see this wouldn’t think he was more than a brick wall but he was more. Just like me more than meets the eye. Each day I’m happy god loves me to bring him to me. Bring me someone that made me feel things I never did before. 

“ I gotta go. I was only supposed to drop off another animal to you, baby “ He said in muffled from my lips. 

Lending back hold his hands close , “ Yeah but it was you who  wanted to start kissing me. I’m only here to basket it all this”.

This was been a familiar thing the last two weeks animals found dead somewhere or sick with some type of rabies. Blood from Mr. Fuzzy Bear only adds to the mystery. Blood work consists of an unfamiliar source. I went anymore I know and even the internet god the internet. After weeks of looking non stop trying to find anything to make me more at ease. NOTHING. I wanted to express this to KP but he only tells me to stop worrying.

“ BABY” KP tickle me under my underarms. I twitch and almost trip. “ I was talking and you did that moody thing you do. Is this Janet” he asked. YES NO I DONT KNOW I rub my forehead gently and peek up at him and nod.

I hate lying most importantly very bad at it. Even though he knew it was more he still allowed it to be, this time. 

“ I am taking you out. Show you off. Remind folks who you belong too. Which means I want you to be out this little head of yours. Janet she many things but all with reasoning. Give her time didn’t you say she nods at you other days” KP said. God his voice.

“ Your right probably PMS. Or something. Where we going” I asked looking down. I could hear my name-calling for me and some chaos.

“IAASC I KNOW HE SEXY EYE CANDY BUT GET YOUR ASS IN HERE-OW” Ethan scream out. I giggle and peck his cheek and ran off.

“ I CALL YOU ILY “ I shouted over my shoulder.

He ruffles his thick black hair across his hands as she smirks at me.

“ILY2” He said.

Everything was like walking into the war zone. Ethan was sitting on a chair holding her arm that was gushing blood out and Casey walking back and forth. I swipe up a rabies shot and quickly gave it to her and took her arms into my arms to looks at it. So much blood my arms got painted red. With a finger snap, Casey passes me the 1st aid kit as I dress the wound. Ethan was laughing all while. After thanking Casey ask sending her off for a break treating her like my child even though she was twice my age I gave the tickle me Ethan my attention.

“ You need to go to the hospital. That looks nothing like something seen before where the animal that did it” I asked looking around.

“ Killed it” She said like it was nothing. My eyebrow bent at this as I look her.

“ I need to call KP back he and sheriff can come over and help” I said pulling my phone out my pocket.

“Shit that fucker a bitch. I go okay I go I’m fine I go later. You did everything right by the way. It’s dead. We take it to the trash and that it” She said then look at me finally. I was a mess. To say the least. I bit the corner of my cheek till it bleeds and the iron the mint of him I was chewing on earlier.

Her eyes look glassy and she had a gentle sweat coming down her forehead. Didn’t it bit her not even a half-hour ago? I walk over and grab the bloody towels and help her up to sit down in her office under the AC. Closing the door I look hands it still had traces of her blood on it. I close my eyes and tried to relax. Taking deep breaths I went over to the sink and started to scrum till my hands were bright red from the friction.

“ Is she alright? “ Casey asks poking her head into the exam room. I peak over and back at my hands.

“ Yeah, she huh. Resting. Hey, what even happen that was so like the strange right” I said adding extra words to sound like I wasn’t just obsessing over it.

Casey pulled out a cigarette from her pocket and pluck it in her mouth getting ready to share something.

“ While you were outside smacking lips with Mr fuck for brains and takeout outside” she stops and looks at me.

“ I was upfront talking to Rachel about our lasted book club meeting. And she was talking about this new craze when one of the animals that came in just bounced up to life and start making sounds hissing and shit. Went sideways. The animal was acting all crazy like Bob does when he drank that moonshine and whiskey during October fair of 2003. Anyway, I rushed back and she was swinging at it with a paperweight” she said raking in another inhale of her cigarette. With a few coughs and tap, she looks around before talking some more.

“ You know a lot of shit been happening around here. I have been here all my life sadly and I would know. You know what it is huh?” She said putting her cigarette out with the bottom of her shoe. “ Damn Liberals. Probably put some damn glitter dusk on shit and made folks all crazy “She said as if it was a known fact. Did I not mention she a bit of a blowup doll racist. Try to explain to her just because I look Spanish doesn’t mean I am. Now she always says Ho Lay. Like that means something more than being a bitch. But she Casey and there no one like her.

“ You never know. So where is it now the animal ” I said drying my hands?

“ Out in the front. Sucker ugly mug tosses a blanket over it” Casey said nodding to the front. I nod and look around trying to let everything sit. Before she could walk off I without even thinking grab tight to her arm and pulled her into a hug. My hand ran up and down as I hold her tight.

“ Stay safe. Cas” I said. She chuckled and pat my back before going. I don’t know why I did it. Maybe a part of me knew something was gonna happen. That I was about to head down a steep drop something I will never be able to recover from.

The animal or what was left of it was like Casey said a mess. Scattered with its brains and head mushed. I poke it a few times before taking my pocket knife and stabbing it in the brain just in case. I wasn’t trying to live my life in a horror film. When I took the knife back out there was a strange goo mix with the blood. What the fuck I whisper to myself as I knee down and got closer to look. Just like I thought it was just like Mr. Fuzzy Bear. This was not a dog and this in on ways was a house pet. How strange how can two things so far from one another by going through the same thing. Can it be a generic trait from mammals? Or animals?

Ethan was quiet for the rest of the night. She didn’t move out of her office and when she did she was still sweating and shivering. I knew I promise KP not to worry but I couldn’t.

Me: Promise not to laugh but I have a question

Mi Amore: Haha what up sweetie

Me: Have there been any strange animal behavior or attacks? I know I’m coo-coo 😛😛

Mi Amore: 🤔 idk. Yeah, old man, Nick has been coming about some behavior. But that’s about it. Ur not crazy just crazy beautiful. Y??

Me: Remember when I was called in. Ethan got bite by a stray animal. Just wondering. I miss U  💋 💋 💋 

Mi Amore: Never stop. If you promise to stop worrying I keep an eye on it. And stop by to check out on Ethan tonight or tomorrow. Alright babe

Me: Kk thnx KP 

Mi Amore: ILY let me know when you get home

Me: ILY2  😘

Old man Nick was crazy still believing that aliens were never in Roswell but here. But his word is not so reliable he is married to his chicken Cheryl. I paced around that night in my room thinking trying not to think. He was right I need to stop worrying. I pulled out my pink paper and my fuzzy pens from my desk and sat on my bed and starting to write. Could me not having Janet be making me acting like an old man Nick, god I hope not. So I did what KP did and after my letter to Janet, I decided to not worry about it.

My feet bounce from one to another as I ran across the neighborhood. I felt a bit of sweat coming from under my lavender purple sports bra and forehead. Hair swinging from left to right right to left as I power through. In theory, if I wanted to I could run my whole town form one end to another. Music blast though my Bluetooth Air Pods. As I turn I reach Bloom Ave I made a quick left and push through till I reach a familiar two-story house at the end of the dead street. It sits back in the dirt a bit with a few stubs in the ground that somehow went perfect with the grey clay outer skeleton with huge windows and white curtains and a bright red wooden door. No cars in the driveway weren’t unfamiliar. Janet's mom or body double was always out at the local bar on some table dancing talking about her glory days. Janet hates that and even though she never told a soul she always fears she becomes that. Be stuck in the middle of nowhere no love and memories of when life was fearless Couldn’t ever be like that I told her as sat back on a black and white blanket sipping on my organic lemonade. She smiles and asks why. Because I will be there no quicksand right. She smiles and nods no quicksand.  I wipe my eyes as I came up to the front porch. I knock a few times before I gave up. Hail Mary twisting my neck a bit I look around to the empty street. From the corner of my eye, I could see the shades move. I turn my head around so quickly I got dizzy. I ran towards the window and tap at it. Trying to look in. It was blurry but I can dang sure I saw someone. I called out and bang it a few times. She was not gonna answer. With a exhale I turn and leaned against the window and slide till I was on the ground. I never gave up but this was starting to look like the only thing I could do. Was not doing that stupid drug that big of a deal. More. More I thought about it I got anger mad-sad even. Whipping my eyes with the back of my hand I got up and grab a few rocks. And started hitting the window calling out for her. Pissed I storm in circles across the front door like a madwoman. 

" I don't know what wrong but FUCK IT. YOU KNOW I CARE ABOUT YOU AND YOU DOING THIS IS FUCK UP. BECAUSE OF BLOODY DAMN DRUG. YOU PROMISE ME MOON AND STARS WE ARE NOTHING WITHOUT THE OTHER. SO IM NOT LEAVING IF I HAVE TO WRITE TO YOU AND LEAVE A FREAKIN LETTER OR CALL I AM. I KNOW SOMETHING FUCKIN WRONG. WHAT WE ARE YES IT IS COMPLICATED AND NOT WAY OF THINGS BUT I DO ANYTHING FOR YOU. THIS SHIT CHILDISH. YOU FUCKIN PROMISE J. They all leave me and you promise you won't" I stumble to my knees and hold onto my face with my hands and cried. I can't hate her even when I wanted to I can't. I cry and cry to the point my sweat and tears were blending into one.

Slowly getting up I look at the house once time. I lost. I lost over something so stupid. Crazy as it is if I could go back knowing what I know I still won't take that duck fuckin drug. I would just fight more so Janet wouldn't.

" No quicksand " I whisper before I walk off in defeat.

At work I didn't move much I just sat there listening to Casey about how Ethan couldn't make it something about going to the urgent care next town over. Casey was pleased because it meant she could leave early. Cleaning up the back exam rooms I recognize the towel Ethan used when she got attack day before. FUCK IT. I Peak before I snoop over to the magnifying glass and cup a piece of the towel and took a look. I tried squeezing my eyes but it wasn't close enough DARN I crushed at myself as I ruffle my hair through my hands. Biting the corner of my lip I look over for something anyway. JACKPOT. I rushed over and bent down to go through old equipment until I found the microscope that I remember Ethan told me about when I first started helping out. Sometimes about it not working right but if there one thing I was work with what you got a type of girl. It is I tap the metal table till the light came on. Grabbing the piece of the towel I place it over and fetch my glasses out my chest pocket and kiss my eyes to the lends. At first, it looks right till I saw a few things in the corner that didn't look quite right. The light kept flicking above me with an annoying buzz. Was it stupid yes but who said I was smart. More I tried to focus louder the buzz got. Till the office phone ring making me jump out my damn skin with a loud final act scream. AHHHH.

After a second to realize it was the phone, I quickly answer it. Hello, I said slightly out of breath. I heard heavy breathing. I repeated my self. Still nothing but heavy breathing. This isn't funny I said about to poop a golden egg. Still, it was heavy breathing. I can't hear you breathing I said looking around second-guessing every life decision I ever made. I gonna hang up I said but something stops me. Three words. No QUICKSAND. My eye widens Janet. I scream into the phone for her a bit excited and more so worried. But all I got was a dial tone I tried to call her but she didn't answer.

Each night around the same time the same message those three words. Of course, I tried to make her say anything else but no. My mind races trying to figure it out till each time I came to the same conclusion, she did not want my help or worst she could not ask for it.

I tap my foot as I look at my planner trying to figure out what to wear for my date with KP today. Strawberry favor purple teddy bear he got me on our first date sat on my lap between my thighs. He did tell me much but just it was a casual date no restaurant this time. We need that a few times when he was in school ones out of town. I liked those I could be anyone I wanted to be even though I could only drink the bottled water and had to bring omg own food. If they didn’t have things like organic apples. The third one we did he told me of his dream ones that included me. I like those a lot. Even after the two years when he went off to the army to take down the bad guys. Each letter you write adventures about life we were gonna have. I told him I didn’t care just wanted him there to hold me and love me. Stupid I know but stuck in a small town you can get caught up in those dreams.

After a few minutes of debating I pick up my feet push and turn around and around in my chair holding the hand of teddy. Hoping off after a few turns around I click on my radio and just decide to go with the flow whatever I was feeling. REMEMBER A DAY BY PINK FLOYD starting to play. I bop my head and shake my hips as I look through my denim.

Remember a day before today

A day when you were young.

Free to play alone with time

Evening never comes.

Toss a blue denim skirt with a beach wave cut on the bottom and round bottoms on the front. I lose myself in the beat that was creeping through my soul. Singing off-key look over my shoulders and pull out short sleeves stripe blue and black with a hint of the orange shirt.

Climb your favourite apple tree

Try to catch the sun

Hide from your little brother’s gun

Dream yourself away

I walk backward as I sang with my teddy in my hands the outro plucking out my round black shades to complete the outfit. Licking my lips I look into the mirror with items place in front to imagine how it would look. Something was messing I look behind and saw one of his old button-ups he left one night he stayed. Taking I deep breath in I look up to my ceiling knowing if things go well maybe I go a step forward. Or maybe not.

He came at exactly at 12 o clock. Rolling up in his 2010 Black Ford Raptor with the music blasting. I hope up without thought ran over as soon as it stops. Before I could get in I saw a few blankets on the passenger seat. Peaking up I saw him staring at me with those intoxicating midnight eyes that match his thick cut on side and swoosh in the front black hair. That I love to tug and play with between my dainty fingers. His smile was so wide that it shows off his perfect pearly whites. Reaching closer I smile into a kiss and I felt a lift as he pulls me in and into his lap. To deepen our kiss the taste of his toothpaste and hint of orange juice he must have had before coming over. Recently he taught me the fun of French kissing and art of a tongue. Pulling his bottom lip with my teeth I glance at him his strong muscular hand grip tight to my thigh.

“ Looks like someone wearing my clothes again” He said rubbing little patterns on my thigh with his index finger.

“ Want me to take it off and give it back. Baby” I asked playfully. With one last glance and shook his head no and tilt his head to look at me.

“ You know it drives me crazy seeing you wear my stuff. Let’s not forget the football jersey incident” he reminded me. It was 1st time I allow him to fell my thigh and butt. Thought alone brought a heat running down my body. Something Janet told me was normal. Playing with his hair I look down at what he was wearing. Black jeans with a red t-shirt an leather jacket.

“ So this the big date. Just sitting in your car. I could have told my parents we were staying for lunch then” I said playing with the collar of his jacket.

He ponders the question for a bit before he started to laugh. Picking me up he helps me over to the passenger seat. Left his right hand on my thigh and drove off with his left hand. After a few minutes, I wrap my hand with his and lean back and look at him as he drives. Few times he will peak over even throwing me a silly face which I then gave a few my own. Got to a light I peak out to the street. Crazy for a Saturday the usual busy with folks at the town square or at the farmer market that would be along Main Street it was pretty much close to deserted. Looking back as we drove off I sat back and ponder about it.

“ Did Bucks say anything about not having his produce today?” I asked.

“ Huh yeah sweetie it was postponed. Something happened to some of his vegetables. Think some kids piss on them. There also that beauty pageant in San Pedro. Took a bus over to watch” He said to bring my hand to kiss.

“ Yea yea I forgot. You know with Ethan gone. I feel like I’m working all alone forgetting the days. Where we going “ I asked.

“ Don’t worry we almost there. Would you put that scarf around your eyes it a surprise? Isaac” he said.

I took the red plaid scarf and wrap it around my eyes. The realization was starting to dawn on me besides our movie dates or him staying with me at night. This was our first date since he came back. Worried wasn’t even the word for it my whole body became snuffled with nerves. My mouth was dry and my neck felt warm.

“ Hey hey you okay,” he asked with a serious tone. I nod yes and hold on to his bicep tight.

“ Sorry just excited. Is all” I whisper holding on.

I didn’t know where I was but I felt the ground being a bit rough against my converse. One hand-grip tight to his other feeling my way. I could feel the moisture from the air and leaves. Before u even lifted the scarf I knew we were at our special hideout in Lover Lane.

Close behind me, he squeezed my shoulders gently as he whispered words of sweet nothing. I felt like Alice walking through wonderland. What if I look clearly through the darkness between the glitter and tiny rainbows I could find mad hatter drinking morning tea or the queen of hearts out by her garden w brush covered in red paint. Endless wonders who will I be would I be Alice full of innocence and wonder, the white rabbit who always running with of anxiety, Chester cat who full of the finger brings back cross and a smile with a bit of darkness inching to come back or maybe just a poor bystander. Most say I could pick out those three or add one in but today I didn’t know.

The blindness of the light brought me back from that rabbit hole of thoughts. Blinking a few times to adjust I saw a blur of trees and blue sky. It was beautiful right in the middle among all the flowers and grass was a big red planet blanket with a wicker basket in the center.

“ Surprise My Ama. Like it” KP said with a huge grind with his hands stretch out as far as possible. I didn’t know tears were coming down till KP came over to kiss them away. I hold his hand tight and kiss his hand before kissing each finger and look deep into his deep space eyes.

“ Did I do something why are you crying?” KP said a bit worried. I felt my lips playing peek a boo with teeth. I wish I knew why I was crying. I don’t even know anymore.

Instead of the truth I pull KP by hand and pull him onto the blanket before I let go and lay across. I curl my finger and motion for him to come over to sit by me. He lay his head on my lap. Right by edge of my skirt and he help right with his head facing my lower stomach. Playing with his hair between my fingers I came close and kiss his forehead gently. He holds me close and mumbles something. Maybe today I’m Alice before she found that hole.

The sun felt so good again my smooth rich terra- cotta skin. My hair was slip to the side taking in the sun raises. I could here KP reading from his old worn-out copy of The Last Man in the background still laying on my lap. He always had a fascination with Pre-American Gothic and an unseen classic from popular authors. Could read anything that was calming may you forget the world around you and drunk of his voice capturing his presence. Once he read House of Leaves to me when we were both in head and sound like a lullaby.

What is there in our nature that is forever urging us on towards pain KP read.

I bent down in front of the book to block any of the words and cup his cheeks in my hands and kiss him. Putting the book beside him he returns the kiss and pulls in deeper and turns me over to he was on top. My head rests on my honey scent shampoo hair. I could smell the woody scent of his Guilty Pour Homme Spray by Gucci he always put on. He moves his hand to crest cheek eyes match my woods brown eye with his. I could feel something hard pressuring against my thigh. With a sigh, I look at him and then down. Once again. As if he could read my thoughts he slowly pulls away.

“ Should probably not continue this before we are both in trouble huh baby?” KP said in his deep chocolate voice. I slowly nod and place my hands against his side and rub it against the pants being the only thing stopping me to go further. I need an escape something to stop my thoughts stop me from jumping face-first onto the hole. I felt moving his hips with movement with my palm. Kiss trace down my neck gently I curve into his touch wanting more. God, he knew how to make this girl feel good. His hands while rough with warn and tares always was gentle. Without thought I let out a sigh as we continue till out nowhere I thought I heard some birds. A lot of birds. Opening my eyes corner of my sight I see a family of birds flying in a flock west of me. I bent my head back as I follow the birds until they disappear. My mind drifts off to where they were going what would they do once they are there.

“ Ama I gotta tell you something alright something very important and I need you to listen can you do that” KP asked as he kisses my neck some more. I nod and mouth yes.

“ You know when I left I thought I was strong I thought I was brave. I wanted to protect you so badly from all evil all darkness I went onto war. But honestly, it’s not what I thought baby. The world we live in full of chaos more I tried to fix it stay in line I found my self missing you thinking what if I stay with you” KP said and continue to kiss me between my chest. Feeling brought old feelings I haven’t felt in more a year ago.

“ This world needs order. And I can’t do it all alone. Many nights I was barley holding thinking of ending my life but I got your letters and face times. If it wasn’t for you I will be lost in this huge empty world. I have been thinking and well what if after you graduate we leave pack all your shit and leave. Nothing d holding us back” KP said. I blink and look at him he stops kissing me and look back up at me with huge night sky eyes. I could hear some strange noises from behind me. KP was still speaking and all I could do was stare at him with drunk haze eyes.

“ Would you run off with me?” KP asks turning to go get up to look at me. No words can describe the look in his eyes passion fear worry lust doubt. Galaxy with million and one thoughts hiding in plain sight. Could I leave and blindly follow him into the unknown future. FUCK YEAH, I WOULD that promised I gave him so long ago.

Before I could say anything everything happens in a flash. The gravity pull was distracted in a minor of seconds. I felt him pushed my down covering me with his chest I look and I could feel something wet. Stumbling back on the blanket my breath gets shorter and I start to feel dizzy my fingertips were numb I felt like the more I tried to breathe more I fell deeper into the darkness. Then were the two muscle arms scooping me up from behind?

“ ISAAC ISSAC AMA AMA BABY BABY LOOK AT ME. Come one before you go into shock “ KP shout out. I look away from the body and at him. His thick finger covers my flushed cheeks. I slowly start to nod and look back at the body.

“ Is he.... is he dead we gotta do -“ I stop as I could see man chest rising a bit he was saying something. I let go and slowly follow the mumble I was a foot away before I felt a hand on my shoulder stopping me. I couldn’t freak out not like before a deep breath in I slowly turn back around.

“ Not safe. Take my phone get services and called for help” KP said in his deep savior voice he does when he serious. I glance back at the body. It gosh out blood to point you couldn’t tell where the actual puncture wound was. Where was it that was gonna be on his death certificate. From where I was it looks like his had puss and some strange black markers. He spoke to me but I did not answer him instead I remain quite till I heard the 911 operator.

“ He Hello. Yes huh, this is huh Amaryllis Isaac Smith I’m with my boyfriend Kindred Phillip” I could hear KP be reaping the word deputy. I nod and look at him he was hovering over the body almost studying it. “ Deputy Sargent Phillip. We are huh mm KP where are we” I stop and scream again where are we.

“ Lover Lane South East entranced a quarter-mile away from the lake. TELL ME THE PEEK A BOO SPOT they will know” He shoot out.

I repeated words word by word what he said. I heard the words by I couldn’t answer.

“Yes, there a man baby hurt. PLEASE HURRY” I said. Placing my hand to the phone I look at KP. “ Is he breathing KP “ I shout out. I couldn’t see one of his hands he was knee down to the body his back facing me. I waited but he didn’t answer just slowly got up and brush his hands on his thighs and grab the phone.

“ He dead. We wait to cops come. Maybe an ambulance my girl she a bit shook up. That’s okay Baby ... Baby” KP asked looking down at me. I couldn’t breathe anymore my hands wrap around his broad shoulder for my dear life my right cheek pushed onto his chest till I could hear his heart. Far away by the now dead body, I saw flames surrounding it. Tears gently fell more flames the closer I pulled into him till my vision was blur form fabric of his shirt. With one last breathe I was free-falling down that hole.