#if i go into the theatre i'll usually make one at home while i'll getting ready then i'll make one when i get into work and then

[pynkhues]

https://x.com/rueroyalest/status/1860166902687084553/photo/1

obviously there's only so much we can tell of tone based on words w/o video, but I feel like Jacob just finds Sam so amusing and ridiculous.

Sam requiring massive caffeination also makes sense to me somehow

Hahaha, I mean! I feel like there's no way he has a normal circadian rhythm or body clock between night shoots on the show, jetlag, usually (from the sounds of it) being the one to suffer in meetings with time differences (probably by proxy of being the only one in Australia outside of Emma), and the amount he goes back to the farm to help and presumably then is operating on farmer hours.

Plus Australia has a huge coffee culture in general, haha.

(Their banter is very cute though).

[inky-duchess]

Etiquette of the Edwardian Era and La Belle Époque: Courting

This is a new set of posts focusing on the period of time stretching from the late 19th century to the early 20th Century right up to the start of WWI. I'll be going through different aspects of life. This series can be linked to my Great House series as well as my Season post and Debutant post.

I get asked a lot about courting, what's acceptable or what's off limits and how one may woo a prospective spouse. So let's explore how to win the hand and heart.

Meeting (not so cute?)

Firstly, it is really difficult to have a meet cute in the Edwardian era. Women and men are kept separate for most of the day, only really getting to meet at designated events: A dinner, a ball, a social event. Meeting in the park is a cute idea but a gentleman can't just approach a lady (or another gentleman) without being introduced by a third party, either a senior party or a mutual friend. However, an introduction at a ball is sort of like Cinderella's get up, it ceases to matter when the ball is over. Your gentleman must not approach a lady after that ball, he must be reintroduced. Once an introduction has been made, he can speak with her.

An Interest

When an introduction has gone satisfactory, a gentleman must make the first move by calling to her parents'/guardian's home and making a formal request to begin courting. Her parents/guardians must consent, usually leading to a short brief interview of the gentleman's family, his connections, his wealth (though in not so vulgar terms, they may inquire where he lives which is an indicator). The woman's opinion did matter, she could give her reasons for accepting or turning down the offer. When the interest is approved, the gentleman can start offering invitations.

Three's Company

Of course, just because the parents agree, doesn't mean the couple gets to be alone. The young lady will be accompanied by a chaperone either a lady's maid, a governess, her mother or another female relative. While the couple is together, the chaperone will always be a few steps behind or have them in sight. She's there to ensure that nothing more than a conversation happens. This is not only for her young lady's reputation but also to save the man from any claims of impropriety. The chaperone also serves as a sort of spy, gauging whether this relationship is worth pursuing.

Activities & Tokens

A gentleman may invite a lady out to lots of different activities. He can invite her for a promenade at a local park or gardens, out the theatre, visit her at home, invite her to galleries, to balls or to be his companion at sporting events such as the races, tennis matches or boat races. When visiting in the house, the gentleman would be expected to speak with all the family, be polite and courteous. This is how the family guages his suitably. The gentleman must provide transportation and funds for any excursion. Gifts are to be refined as well. Expensive gifts are considered vulgar and will likely be turned down. Small gifts such as flowers, books, cakes are acceptable. Gifts aren't as important as the time spent together.

Rules of Engagement

There are certain unspoken rules surrounding courtship that every gentlemen must follow for a successful courtship:

A gentleman should always pay attention to his lady, and not exclude her or cast her off for others

A gentleman never smokes in front of his lady nor forget to remove his hat.

A gentleman must always offer to refresh his lady on an excursion

A gentleman must defend his lady from any offense be it an insult or a scene unfit for her eyes or within an argument. Throwing in an apology for any offense can add a cherry on top.

However if she's the one giving offense, without any reason, the gentleman must seek to create peace, apologising on her behalf.

When walking, a lady will be placed in the inside of the pavement.

A gentleman should never spend above his means to impress his lady. Staying within his means is not only smart but a show of restraint and a glimpse of what life ought to be if they marry.

A gentleman should always offer his assistance when a lady is exiting a carriage or going up a flight of steps or carrying anything heavy.

If a man accompanies a woman to a ball, he's expected to dance with her on her first and last dances of the evening.

A gentleman must always make his intentions known and not string a lady along with no intention of marriage. He must never joke about his intentions or lead her on.

Marriage

Courtship usually promises marriage which is why a gentleman or lady should not enter into courtship unless they would consider marriage. Courtship may last a few months or a few weeks and while it is going on, both sides should consider whether marriage would be a viable option of either of them. Parents/guardians would be consulted, the gentleman must make his intentions known to her father or nearest male relative before approaching the lady and popping the question. A courtship that doesn't end in marriage is seen as a failure and may damage the reputation of both parties, leading people to wonder what happened and who is to blame. For example is a perfectly eligible gentleman will not marry a perfectly eligible lady or she turns down his offer, people will usually leap to the conclusion that there is something lacking.

LGBTQIA+ Courting

Gay people have always been here. They have courted and they have loved. Whilst it was illegal in this time in many parts of the world, love did prevail. (fun fact: lesbianism wasn't illegal because nobody wanted to explain what it was to Queen Victoria). The good thing to know is that courting whilst gay was likely easier in this period. Whilst there were restrictions and rules for straight couples and chaperones haunted their every step, none of this would happen if two people of the same gender stepped out together. Two gentleman going to the opera together or dining at a restaurant or attending a ball together (dancing in public was unlikely) or two ladies promenading in the park or attending a concert would not be examined like a courting couple. They would have more freedom to move around but of course, with legal impediments PDA was kept a minium. Whilst they wouldn't be allowed to marry legally, there was little stopping couples from moving in together. Nobody would say much about two spinsters sharing a home or two bachelors crashing together

[thegirlfromblackwater]

If the Van der Linde Gang went to the Movies (Modern Au)

Modern RDR 2 headcanons because they make me laugh, so I'll write one.

Arthur:

Definitely ends up driving everyone to the movie theater.

Also, the designated member who buys everyone's snacks and drinks (except Pearson).

He gets cranky when this happens, but stubbornly does it.

He would like action movies and Western films for he understands the cowboy world.

If Arthur had TB in the modern world, he would annoy everyone with his coughing but not give a damn.

Pearson:

He's obsessed with Popcorn.

One of those people who munches and slurps too loudly.

He probably sits alone.

I imagine he would get an extra-large popcorn but don't even think about him sharing.

He would also get a large soda.

Maybe some candy on the side.

He would unconsciously eat and gets really sucked into what's going on in the film, drowning out all the noise around him.

Mary Beth:

One of those girls who's super into Romance films with a twist of Historical fiction.

She would definitely be one of those people that cry in the theatre.

She would probably like something like "The Notebook"

Likes to go with Tilly & Ms. Grimshaw

Dislikes Horror and Sci-Fi Films that the boys always go to

Always asks Arthur for a small popcorn

Karen

Always sneaks a bottle of alcohol into the theatre under her coat.

Likes to sit with Sean. The two of them have a ball

Karen always ends up getting drunk. Will start talking nonsense with her words slurred. Sean thinks this fucking funny.

She will yell at the screen

Sean

Never stops talking during the movie

Gets a little too intimate with Karen sometimes

Usually shares the bottle of Alcohol with her too

Tries to sit next to Arthur sometimes

John

Likes to be with Arthur, Charles & Javier

Abigail tells him he needs to take Jack to a movie that's PG.

Gets annoyed at this and ends up watching something like "Despicable Me" or "Inside Out"

He once left Jack in the theatre all alone and sneaked to the other movie

Probably would enjoy a horror film every once and a while

Abigail

Usually goes with Jack to watch a kid's movie for John is incapable.

Sometimes she goes with the other female gang members.

Almost skinned John alive for taking Jack to a horror film that gave the child nightmares for weeks

Trelawny

Finds a way to upgrade himself to a recliner seat

likes foreign films

Likes popcorn with no butter

Probably has a home theatre in his house

Uncle

Doesn't know which movie he's ever going to

ends up taking a nap on the bench in the hallway

In the theatre he is the one who falls asleep and snores loudly

Says the seats aren't good for his lumbago

Strauss

Stays home and doesn't have enough time to go to the movies

Bill

Probably would enjoy a Sci-fi movie

Likes to wear 3D Glasses

Sits way too close to the screen in the very front row

Never understands fully what's going on

Always ends up spilling the popcorn on the floor

Sadie

Likes action/Adventure movies.

Will scream at the screen

Enjoys gore

Likes mystery

Grimshaw

Always regulating everyone's snack intake

Tells Pearson he eats too much

Likes to control Tilly & Marybeth in their choices

Hates sitting too close. The back or middle of the theatre is the best

Javier

For sure a popcorn stealer

Likes western films also

Gets excited when people speak Spanish in the movie

Reverend Swanson

Usually walks out halfway through the film

Makes weird noises during the film

falls asleep

Kieran

Likes calm movies especially those about animals

Likes to go with Mary Beth & the girls

Gets excited when there is a horse in one of the scenes

Is happy to go with Jack to see an animated kids' movie

Dutch

Probably would go to something like a documentary

likes to only be with Hosea

Has molly tailgating him sometimes

Hosea

Tries to con the person who sells the popcorn & Food

Will go to see whatever Dutch sees

only drinks water

Jack

Likes funny kids' movies

Probably likes Pixar

Charles

The only normal person at the movie theatre

Never cries

sits with Arthur

goes with the flow

just watches what everyone else watches

Micah

Annoying

sits alone

probably likes the worst rated movies

laughs during sad scenes

Arthur refuses to get him food

Tilly

Likes what Mary Beth likes

Probably a historical fiction type of gal

Always commenting about the movie to Mary Beth

Always giggling

Molly

Likes to follow Dutch to whatever he goes to see

Gets bored

complains about Dutch's choices

tries to separate him from Hosea

Brings her makeup

Think's Dutch's movie preferences are terrible

Lenny:

likes movies that are based on books

doesn't make a lot of noise

likes sno-caps and gummies

Any of your own ideas are welcome...

[toomuchracket]

Thinking of any girl dad matty at a baba’s first dance recital… baby girl in a little pink tutu being excited/nervous to preform for everyone and now I’m crying

i could write a whole fic about amy being a total diva about her first dance show but actually i wanna switch universes and talk about the sweetest tmr baby of them all, miss phoebe. all your girls dance from the time they're tiny, because it's both a good way to make friends and also teaches them a lot about coordination and bodily awareness and discipline and teamwork, but your youngest is the one who enjoys it most of all - every week, she loves putting on her swishy little practice dress and her ballet shoes and going to class, eagerly showing you and matty and her sisters what she's learned that week to great applause from all of you (matty especially. he is such a dance dad. in a wholesome way). she's four when her first recital showcase thing happens, and it's literally all she can talk about for weeks; like, she begs you or matty or denise to let her try her pretty costume on, to put her hair in a little bun and let her wear lipgloss and glitter, and it's really adorable how excited she is. when you get to the theatre on the day of the show, though, she's suddenly shy, clinging to your hand as you walk through the seats to go backstage and looking up at it with complete trepidation, and even when you're in the dressing room with her getting her ready she's a lot quieter than usual - mind you, she makes it through the dress rehearsal of her dance just fine, albeit slightly reserved in her performance, but she just RUNS and clings to you once it's done like "that was scary, mummy". while you console her like "you were so brave for even doing that, munchkin! you'll be alright for the show, though, yeah? to show your dance to daddy and dyl and lena and nana and everyone?", which she says she will be, you text matty to tell him phoebe had a little bit of stage fright, and he replies like "oh 🥺 i'll talk to her". and he does, when he picks you both up to grab some dinner before the show - he takes her hand and walks a bit ahead of you with her, and says "a little birdy told me you were feeling a little bit nervous, darling. s'that true?", and she nods, and matty crouches to be level with her and says "you know what? it's normal, munchkin, i get like that when i go onstage too. but you know what helps me?", and phoebe's like "what?", and he smiles like "the fact i've got my friends there. uncle ross and uncle adam are beside me, uncle george and uncle jamie are there when i turn around, and there's always friends cheering me on in the crowd. and you have that too! you've got lucy and paloma and kira dancing with you, and me and mummy and everyone in the crowd - just think that you're having fun with your friends like you do in class, and you'll be fine, alright? now, c'mere, my brave girl, give me a cuddle". phoebe perks up a bit after that, and the show goes so well!! she's so cute in her little outfit, jumping and spinning so happily that both you and matty have a little sniffle about your baby growing up; she looks so like him when she smiles like that, too, and you love it. anyway, after the show she comes tearing out to hug all of you, curls escaping the bun lol, and proudly carries the flowers matty gives her all the way home while he carries her and tells her how proud he is of her. sweet girl <3

[fangirlingfromdownunder]

A Sweet Mishap - Chapter 21

Pairing - Jensen Ackles x Reader 

A/N: I just want to start by thanking everyone for all the love on this story so far. Let me know if you want to be added to the tag list. This chapter is a little heavier (as is the story going forward, but I'll include potential triggers for each chapter as relevant), so please read the TW below and only read on if you feel comfortable doing so.

Potential Trigger Warnings: mentions of depression, suicidal thoughts, domestic violence

A Sweet Mishap Masterlist | Main Masterlist

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───

The days blend together in a whirlwind of rehearsals, work, and studying. The excitement for the upcoming show is palpable, but underneath it all, a sense of exhaustion lingers. I push through each long day with determination. Then one night, I stumble home after a long day, late at night. I check my mail before going up to my apartment and find a large box with my name and address on it, on the floor infront of my mailbox. Knowing the date I can only imagine what it might be. Suddenly I’m wide awake. I rush up to my apartment and dump the box on the coffee table. Knowing it could only be one person, I send him a text.

Can I open it or should I wait until tomorrow?

I wait awhile but don’t get a response. I figure he’s either asleep or in the middle of filming. I force myself to leave the box and go for a shower. Feeling warmed up and relaxed, the package falls out of my mind as I collapse into bed and fall asleep.

As I drag myself out of bed the following morning and get dressed for my shift I remember the box. I check my phone and there’s still nothing. Knowing that it’s later in the day in Vancouver, I decide to try to call him while I finish getting ready. It goes straight to his voicemail and I start to get anxious. I doublecheck the sending address on the box and it has a Vancouver address with his name, so I know at least it hasn’t even come through his management, this was all him. This makes me a little more excited, but I can’t figure out why then he’d all of a sudden be ignoring me. I try to keep a level head and tell myself he’s just busy with work. I don’t have time to dwell on it anyway. Regardless, I can’t help but dread serving loved up couples their caffeine hits for the next few hours.

I force a smile and throw on my apron as I find my rhythm. Despite my initial anxiety, I find myself getting lost in the familiar routine, the busy atmosphere providing a temporary distraction from the unanswered questions swirling in my mind. I push through and then go to my classes as usual, while avoiding checking my phone to keep myself from spiralling further unreasonably. 

As I walk home alone from the theatre, through the streets filled with loved-up couples, I try to feel happy for them while I hope that maybe next year I’ll have someone to share it with. As I approach my building I see someone sitting on the ground infront of the glass doors with their head on their knees. My heart races a little as I worry it could be someone looking for a way to sneak into the complex; I’ve seen stranger things happen in the city, unfortunately. The scene also reminds me of the time I sat in that exact position when Tyler first kicked me out of the apartment. I can’t imagine someone going through those same emotions on Valentines of all days, but for my own safety and the safety of others in the building I hope it’s the latter.

As I get closer, I can tell it’s a young girl. I think about walking past, but then I think about the immense difference it would have made if someone stopped when I was in her position. I clasp my keys in my palm as I crouch down beside her. 

“Hey, are you alright?” I ask, but she just shakes her head. “I know Valentines Day can be rough. Do you at least have somewhere to go? It’s too cold to stay out here.” She shakes her head again as her whole body shakes as she lets out a small sob. “I obviously don’t know you or what happened, but I’ve sat where you’re sitting…If you want to talk about it or just be around someone and not talk about it…” She shakes her head again. “You should at least come into the lobby, out of the cold night air.” When she still refuses to move I shrug off my jacket and wrap it around her. I feel my phone vibrate in my bag, but ignore it. While she’s refusing to talk, I know from experience that she shouldn’t be alone.

I sit on the pavement beside her under the dim streetlights in silence. When I start to shiver involuntarily she offers my jacket back. “You should go inside and stay warm. Don’t stay out here because of me. I’m obviously not worth it.” 

Hearing words so similar to ones I’ve said myself breaks my heart. “Only if you’ll let me call you a ride or bring you in. You won’t believe me, but I’ve had those exact thoughts. I don’t think you should be alone tonight.” I know it must be extremely hard for her to trust a stranger but I hope I can at least get her somewhere safe and warm.

My phone vibrates again, this time with a call. I ignore it. I don’t want this girl to think anyone or anything is more important than her. 

After a while, when she realises I’m not going anywhere, she says, “There’s no one to call…I-I was stupid.”

“I’m sure you weren’t. I’m sure you are just young and optimistic and caught in terrible circumstances beyond your control. But you likely won’t believe me, because I know I wouldn’t have. I haven’t got much to offer, but I do have an apartment with a fireplace and a comfortable couch and bed, you can have whichever.”

“I don’t-”

“It’s no problem. I just want to get you off the street for the night and I don’t imagine you can afford a hotel in the city, not to make assumptions, I just know how expensive it can be out here.”

My phone starts to buzz again and she sinks back. “You should get that.”

“They can wait. It’s probably just my mom checking because she knows how hard Valentines can be for me.” I don’t want to push too hard but I know it’s only getting later and colder and neither of us are making the most of my jacket now. I stand up and swipe my keyfob over the scanner. “At least come into the lobby, I’m happy to stay down here with you or bring you a blanket. Just come out of the cold.”

She hesitantly nods and pushes herself off the cold concrete. I lead her into the lobby. “You can come up with me or I can bring you down a blanket. It’s up to you. I don’t want to make you feel uncomfortable, I just want you to be warm and safe. And know that you’re not alone.”

“She looks around the bare, unhomely lobby and quietly asks, “C-Can I come up with you?”

“Of course.” I press the button for the lift and step back. When we get in, I notice she doesn’t even have a bag with her, just a phone that appears to be flat. I lead her into my apartment and quickly turn the lights on and start the fireplace. “The bathroom’s through there,” I motion towards my room, “If you want to have a warm shower or wash your face. The bedroom’s also in there if you’d prefer, or the couch.” I do my best to make her feel comfortable as I kick off my shoes and put down my bag. I also toss the now wilted roses in the bin, after pocketing the card. 

“They from your boyfriend? Does that mean it gets better?” she asks.

“It’s complicated, but yes, it does get better. It may take a while, but this moment doesn’t define you. Your life is so much more than your worst nights.”

She hesitantly takes a seat on the couch to warm up by the fire and I pull over a stool. “Y-You said you sat were I sat…C-Can I ask what happened?”

I nod. “My boyfriend at the time cheated on me in this very apartment. I came home from work and caught him in our bed with some girl her met at a bar. Same way he met me, ironically. He was a few years older. There were plenty of red flags I ignored. But it hurt for a long time. I am just lucky to have a great friend that helped me pull through the worst of it and keep putting one foot in front of the other.”

“He cheated with you here? And you stayed?”

“Yeah, crazy, right? I had a job here and classes and a friend and dreams. All of which were more important than a guy I moved across the country with on a whim. He went back to our home state and left me the apartment…and all the bills. I thought about trying to leave, but the location was perfect and the rent was cheaper than other places. I did get a new bed though. I threw out the bedding and sold the frame; there was nothing wrong with it, just that I couldn’t get the image of her gripping the headboard while he took her from behind, out of my head.”

“I’m sorry…”

I shake my head and shrug. “He was a dick. I’m just glad I didn’t let it break me. I almost did, and those thoughts resurface now and again, but I’m stronger for it. I know that now. I only realized that recently, actually…It’s these experiences that will eventually help you realize your worth.”

“He-He still has all my stuff. He begged me to forgive him…He-He wouldn’t let me…” I look her over as she speaks and notice she’s still cold. I reach over and pull the blanket off the back of the couch and offer it to her. She wraps it around herself and cuddles it close to her chest. That’s when I notice light purple bruises on her wrists.

“Did he?” I nod at her wrists and she hides them under the blanket. But then she nods.

“You can stay here as long as you need. I have a friend that works as a security guard, I can ask him to come over and help get your stuff tomorrow…Or we can go out and get you whatever you need.”

“He only does it when he’s…I provoke him…It’s my fault.”

I shake my head, knowing those feelings all too well. “Yeah? What’d you do?”

She shakes her head back and throws off the blanket. “It was my fault. I should go back. He’ll be mad if I-”

“I can’t and won’t stop you if you want to go. But I wish you wouldn’t. Just take the night. Get some sleep and think it over.”

She hesitantly pulls the blanket back on as she starts to cry again. “I-I just…I just wanted to go out. It was my first Valentines Day in a relationship…And in the city…I j-just…I-I shouldn’t…I know…”

“Hey, Sweetie. It’s okay to want those things. And every girl deserves that. Your man should want to take you out and show you a good time; not just on Valentines, but every day. But most of all, he shouldn’t ever hurt you. You’re not his punching bag.”

“He didn’t…He just-” My phone vibrates noisily on the counter cutting her off. “C-can I use the bathroom?”

“Of course. Let me know if you want to borrow some clean clothes. I should have something that should fit.”

“I’m okay. Thanks.” She quietly gets up and goes into the bathroom. I listen for the shower to turn on before I get up and check my phone: 15 texts and 3 missed calls from Jensen. I sigh and call him back without opening the messages.

“Thank God, you’re alive at least!”

“Me? You ignored me first.”

“I was working.”

“Yeah, me too.”

“At one in the morning? I know you get on the subway around eleven thirty, you always text when you get home. I didn’t hear from you. Jared only just talked me out of calling the police for a wellness check.”

“I’m sorry. It’s just…Something came up. I can’t talk about it right now. But I’m home and I’m safe. And I’ll call you tomorrow.”

He sighs. “Well, happy Valentines for yesterday, I guess…”

“Don’t be like that. I texted you last night and called you first thing this morning. You didn’t answer. We’re both busy. I had to accept that, so do you. And I really am busy at the moment. I will call you and explain when I can.”

“Someone more important, huh? Some guy from the show?”

I instantly tear up at his implication. “You know what? Screw you, Jensen. You know what I’ve been through and you really think I’d do that to you? Screw you.” I hang up before he can make any excuses and wipe my eyes hastily to appear strong for the girl who needs me. He instantly tries to call me back but I flick my phone to silent and plug it in to charge. I grab a change of clothes and knock lightly on the bathroom door. 

“Hey, it’s just me. I have some clothes here if you want them.” I wait a few seconds, but when I don’t get a response I put my hand on the doorknob. “I’m sorry, I’m coming in. Call out if you don’t want me to.” I don’t get a response so I push the door open and for the first time I’m thankful that it doesn’t have a lock.

I notice her sitting on the floor with her back against the bathtub and her head between her knees. She shakes as she cries heavily. As I get closer, I notice one of my bottles of painkillers in her hand. I let out a relieved sigh when I see the cap is still on. I twist off the water in the shower and crouch down beside her. 

“He’s not worth it…None of them are. But you are. You can have a very bright future. Focus on your dreams, what you want. If you put in the hard work, you can make it happen. I know it’s hard to believe right now, but it’s true.” I hold out my hand and she hands over the bottle. 

“What if he-What if someone saw us? What if he knows? What if he-”

“Do you wanna go somewhere else? I can call my friend and we can go somewhere else. As I said, he’s a security guard, he can protect you.”

She nods. I stand up and go get my phone and bring it back. I flip down the toilet lid and sit on it as I call Nick. I know Stella will be asleep, but I’m just hoping he’s finishing a shift. It rings a few times before he answers.

“Y/N?”

“Hey, Nick. Can you come over?”

“Are you okay?”

“I’m okay. I was just wondering if me and a…friend could come stay with you and Stella?”

“Jensen?”

I shake my head eventhough I know he can’t see me. “Nick, could you just come, please?”

“Sure. I’m on my way. Meet me downstairs?”

“Actually, could you come up? I’ll buzz you in.”

“Okay?”

“Thank you.”

He hangs up and I go back to sit with the girl. That’s when I realize I don’t even know her name. “I’m Y/N, by the way.” I try to break the tension a little to make her feel comfortable, “I can’t believe I forgot to introduce myself.”

“Anna.”

“Nice to meet you, Anna. My friend’s gonna come here and take us back to him and his wife’s place. They live over in Manhattan. They’re both really nice. Stella is the one I was telling you about that helped me when I was going through my worst. You’ll be safe there.”

“W-will you c-come?”

“Of course. I won’t leave you.”

“I’m sorry I wasted your water and went through your stuff.”

“I’m just glad you’re okay. But I need you to tell me the truth, did you take any? I don’t mind, I’m just worried about you.”

She shakes her head. “I-I couldn’t…I couldn’t do it.”

“Well, I’m glad.”

She hangs her head again. “Todd’s gonna be so angry…”

I try my best to stifle a laugh, “Really? Todd? That’s his name?” She nods. “That’ll do it.” She looks up confused. “I’m sorry. It’s just in my experience, guy’s with T-names are the worse. The guy that cheated on me? Tyler…and also, Trent, before that.”

“Two guys?”

“What idiot falls for it twice, right? That’s why I want to help you now. Don’t make the same mistakes I did. Don’t let it become a pattern. Let him be your one and only lesson. Realize your worth now.” I hear the buzzer from the intercom near the door. I stand up and hold my hand out. “My friend’s here, let’s go back out where it’s warmer.”

She slowly takes my hand and lets me pull her up and lead her back to the couch. I only leave her for a few seconds while I buzz Nick up and then let him in. Being already on edge he scans the apartment and instantly spots Anna. 

He leans close and lowly says, “There’s some frantic guy in the lobby. I don’t think you should go anywhere. I’ll stay here.”

I nod in understanding and introduce him and Anna. I gently explain the change of plans and urge her to take my bed. She argues, claiming that she should go down and check if it’s him and calm him down. But Nick and I dissuade her. In the end, she says she doesn’t want to be alone, so I lay down in my bed with her while Nick rests on the couch watching TV.

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───

Taglist: @stoneyggirl2 @hobby27, @n-o-p-e-never, @deansimpalababy,

@winchesterwild78, @kr804573, @chriszgirl92, @smoothdogsgirl

@speakinvain, @deans-baby-momma, @1967winchesterimpala, @ladysparkles78

[guppygiggles]

Like Real People Do, Part 4! ♡ (Casper x Avery)

☁️ Summary: Casper and Avery's relationship grows. Avery comes over to watch a movie that has an unexpected *scene* for Casper. Shenanigans ensue.

☁️ Warnings: Suggestive, very romantic, STUPID gay, the tickles you've been waiting for™, classic Avery teasing -- ABSOLUTELY NO MINORS

☁️ Author's Note: If you feel like I didn't go off the rails enough here, stay tuned because I swear to god, I'm just getting started~

This is a series now!

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Part 4 *you are here

Part 5

Part 6

Part 7

Part 8

If you just got here and want to know more about my characters, you can read my comic starting right here!

Avery came to visit me the night after we went to the fair. And the next. And the next. 

Occasionally we'd skip a day or two, if he was working on research late into the night, or if I had after-hours systems testing at my job, but before long we had spent the equivalent of a week together. Then a month. Then two. 

Sometimes I would cook for him, helping him experience all the culinary delights he had denied himself due them being “unnecessary” pleasures. He found most dry food intolerable, but he loved all kinds of soup, fruit, and especially ice cream. I made sure to always have a case of sparkling water on-hand, too, just for him. 

Some nights, he would take me back to his lighthouse and we would spend the evening together there, sipping tea and playing board games on his tiny kitchen table (Avery usually won). We shared affectionate hugs and glances. Sometimes, he would touch my hand across the kitchen table as I pored over how to beat him at cards, making me lose my concentration. He always carried me home before it got too late. 

When we weren't together, we texted; sweet greetings, inside jokes, photos from our lives. We playfully competed against each other for who could make the most bored face while working, or who could take a prettier sunset picture. True to his word, he also texted me when he needed things; strange mechanical parts, books about advanced scientific concepts, refills for his tea cabinet. 

I let him take point and followed his lead, never initiating, allowing him to discover and express his feelings in his own time. He was shy, but he could be playful at times, too – I wasn't sure if he knew it, but his teasing flustered me out of my wits. I was fairly certain he didn't know about… that, but there had been some close calls; a good-natured nudge to the ribs that sent me reeling, or a hug that ended with his fingertips lightly grazing my sides. I recalled one incident at the movie theatre when he whispered a little too close to my ear, necessitating me to hold my breath until he was done speaking. That time, I thought I wouldn't make it. 

It was autumn, my favorite season. I had not grown up around deciduous trees, and I was delighted to watch the foliage in Port Oleander cycle through a rainbow of warm hues. The sun was beginning to set as I stood in my kitchen, gently stirring a pot of homemade miso soup – Avery's favorite – when my phone buzzed. 

What are you doing, dewdrop? 

makin soup for you :3 

Ooh, what kind? 

its a surprise!! 

I'm sure I'll love it. 

Hey, I wanted to ask you something… Do you want me to stay the night tonight? 

“Wow,” I thought. That was a big step for Avery. We'd cuddled a bit before, but not in bed, and we'd never spent the night, either. My heart beat a bit faster. What if I did something embarrassing in my sleep? Would he notice if I wasn't wearing my binder? Would he care? 

I took a bit too long to answer, so he followed with:

If you're not comfortable, I totally understand. 

no!! i would love for you to stay over. my beds not as big as yours but i think it's comfy.

Sounds good! I can't wait to see you, dewdrop. I'm bringing a movie to watch. 

which one!!! 

Hehe… it's a surprise. 

can't wait💙

+++ 

It wasn't long before Avery arrived. As I opened the door, I grinned at the sight of him in his fall outfit. It was the first really cold day of autumn, and he'd worn an alpine sweater, a blue scarf, and jeans instead of his usual slacks. I rushed into his huge embrace, burying my face in his soft chest. He was especially tall and fluffy that day – I estimated he was about six-foot-five (195cm ♡) – which told me he was well-hydrated and full of energy. I inhaled as I nuzzled into his chest -- he smelled like cloves and old books. 

“Hello, dewdrop,” he said fondly, squeezing me close to him and stroking my hair. “It smells wonderful in here." He took a seat on the couch, setting a DVD on the coffee table. 

“It'll be done soon! Are you hungry?”

“Casper, I'm always hungry when you're cooking.” 

I giggled, sampling the soup as I walked over to him. “Is this the movie you brought?”

“Yes, I wasn't sure if you'd seen it, but you said you liked old animated films. This is one of my favorites, so I thought I'd share it with you.”

It was a copy of The Secret of NIMH. It made sense that Avery liked it – understandably, he had a penchant for fringe science and supernatural concepts.

“Oh, I love this movie!” I had a copy of it, too, but it was in storage somewhere. 

I brought two bowls of soup over to the couch. Though I was pleased with how it came out, I wasn't particularly hungry; I was too riled up, thinking about Avery staying the night. I noticed that he'd brought a canvas bag with him. I wondered what his pajamas looked like. I wondered about a lot of other things, too. 

“Ahh, you scamp, this is my favorite! Thank you for making it, it's delicious,” Avery chirped, sipping the clear broth greedily. I never tired of watching him eat; the liquid entering his mouth and then being swept up in the swirling vortex of his head, disappearing in an instant. The hot soup made him steam a bit, little whips of vapor rising from his skin. 

I put the movie in and turned off the light, snuggling into his side. Though his sweater was soft, I wished that I could feel his bare arm instead as he wrapped it around me. His cool fingers rested on my forearm, and I could feel the wind rushing beneath his skin. 

We watched the movie quietly, every now and then making comments on the score and animation of the Don Bluth film.

“Justin reminds me of you,” I said, grinning. 

“Oh, really? Hehe. He is charming, isn't he? He's just like me, for real.” Avery put his hands on his hips and struck a playfully haughty pose, just like in Justin's introduction scene. The temptation to take him down a peg was immense, but somehow, I resisted. 

“Dude, you cannot pull off slang like that at all,” I said, laughing. 

“Got you to giggle though, didn't I?” 

I blushed, but summoned some confidence and fired back anyway. 

“Pfff. Just like Mr. Ages said about Justin, you're a feather-head, too.” 

Avery laughed openly, causing me to get a terrible case of butterflies as he trembled against my body. 

“I can't argue with that,” he said. 

We watched the movie a while longer. The scene with Jenner in the auditorium ended, and the next scene featuring Jeremy started to play. He was tangled up in his string, as usual, and was involved in some banter with the suspicious old shrew, who was admonishing him for sneaking around. She paced back and forth on screen, rigging up Jeremy's string to nearby branches and hoisting him into the air.

Suddenly, I remembered this scene. My body stiffened a bit against Avery, and I felt my ears beginning to flush. Without meaning to, I held my breath. 

The mice kids were calling Jeremy a turkey, and demanding to know where their mother was. One of them jumped on top of Jeremy, clawed fingers scratching his sides as he laughed, crying, “No, stop! You're tickling!” 

Luckily, the scene was over quickly. I exhaled as quietly as possible, but then, Avery paused the movie. My heart dropped. 

“I've noticed something about you,” he said slowly. 

“Y-yes?” I tried to sound normal. I sounded nothing close. 

“Whenever this topic comes up, I observe a kaleidoscope of emotions from you. You flush, stutter, look away, squirm, and hold your breath. I've let it slide many times, but now, I'm curious. This tickling… has an interesting effect on you that it doesn't seem to have on other humans. 

“I know what tickling is, in theory, but it’s a human behavior that doesn't exist in Cirropa. I'm dying to know what about it gets you so… flustered like this? And why you're so desperate to hide it from me.” 

I swallowed hard, suddenly and painfully aware of every contact point between Avery’s body and mine, especially his fingers resting on my arm. How could I explain this without saying it out loud? 

“Ahh, well, um… it's… I just…” I babbled incoherently. My breath came in short gasps as my fingers and toes grew clammy. 

Avery shifted on the couch, turning to face me. In the glow of the TV screen, his eyes were intense, but there was the faintest hint of a smirk playing around his lips. 

“I am a scientist, you know. If you don't tell me, I'm not afraid to test a hypothesis. But let's clear this up first, at least – does it make you uncomfortable in a bad way? Is it painful for you? I have a feeling it's the opposite… very opposite… but I have to be sure.” 

“Ahh, errrr… no…” 

“No, what?”

“No, it… doesn't make me uncomfortable in a bad way, and it isn't painful.”

“Hmmm… what isn't?”

“What?”

“What isn't painful, Casper?” 

“...” 

“Oh, stars. This ruffles you so badly you can't even say the word, can you? Oh, dewdrop… you know I have to try it, now.” 

Alarm bells went off in my head as I felt my blush flood from my ears, to my cheeks, to the rest of my face. I scrambled backwards from Avery, but with such speed I almost couldn't detect it, he was on top of me, one knee on each side of my hips. 

I screamed. 

“No Avery! Nohohoho plehehehehease don't hahahahaha!”

“My god, I haven't even touched you yet! I hear you saying no– do you really want me to stop?” His smirk was huge now, and I could barely stand to look at him. He knew exactly what he was doing. 

I hid my face in my hands, causing Avery to giggle.

“I knew it! Humans are so cute sometimes! Here, sweetheart, I'll give you one last out. If you want me to stop, snap your fingers.” 

A moment of silence passed, my hands still firmly covering my face.

“Hehehe… Alright, then. You quite literally asked for it.”  

With that, I felt Avery's fingertips light on each side of my ribcage. He started softly and deftly flexing them, gently skittering along the sides of my body. 

I'd been tickled plenty of times before, by previous partners and friends. Generally, they were so excited to tickle me, so caught up in a moment of playfulness that they dug their fingers into me… which did usually tickle quite a lot, but it also hurt a bit, too, and made it difficult to enjoy. 

Avery's tickling was entirely different. He was methodical, comprehensive. Playful, but gentle. His fingertips were incredibly soft and dexterous as they prodded and kneaded along my ribcage. Avery worked with delicate scientific instruments, and he tickled like he did, too; it was like nothing I'd ever felt. 

“Ahahahahahaveryyyy!! Hahahahaha!” I cried, squirming beneath his fingers, my unrestrained hands grabbing uselessly at his forearms; he was so strong, it didn't seem to phase him in the slightest. 

“Hehehe, you are so sensitive to this! Oh, this is so cute, Casper! If I had known you liked this sooner, I would have already played with you like this so many times. I wonder where else you're ticklish? If we go by evolutionary theory, it would probably be a vital point, like here,” he teased, his soft fingertips moving from my ribcage to the sides of my neck, his cool fingers gliding merrily along my bare skin. 

I blushed so hard, I was sure my whole body must be red. 

“AAAHAHAhahahaha!” I squealed, reaching my hands up to protect myself. I could feel moisture beginning to bead in the corners of my eyes. Avery's fingertips tickled so much, it was like an eclipse for my mind, blocking out any thoughts and leaving only the delicious torture of sensation. 

Avery stopped, looking down at me with concern. 

“You're starting to cry, are you okay?” He asked, his brow furrowed as he reached out to cup my hot cheek in his soft palm, gently wiping my tear with his thumb. 

“Hehehe… I'm okay, Avery… I cry when I laugh sometimes,” I said, placing my hand reassuringly over his. His cold skin was a relief, as I was already starting to sweat. 

“Hmm… if you do things like cry, and say ‘stop’ out of instinct, how will I know when you're ready for me to really stop?” 

“Aheh, well… time for some vocabulary, I guess. That's called a safeword, but safewords don't always work with this, because sometimes you're laughing so hard you can't get it out. I've found it's better to tap out,” I showed him by tapping my fingers on the couch, “but it's always good to check periodically, too.”

“What other words should I know?”

“Well… there is ‘ler’, which means someone who likes to ‘teekay’ other people, and ‘lee’, someone who likes to be ‘teekayed’.” 

“So… does that mean you're a lee?” 

I chuckled; my turn to smirk. 

“No, I'm the ‘secret third thing’ – a switch. Someone who likes both.” 

“O-Oh.” Avery blushed exquisitely. 

“You wanna give it a try?” 

“It does seem like fun…” 

My heart was pounding. “Why don't we move to the bed, then? You can't really stretch out on this couch like I can. You'll be more comfortable there.”

“Hehe… lead on, dewdrop.” 

[thegaangneedstherapy]

Zukka fic list part 2

On ice we fall (in love)

Zuko and Sokka rivals to friends to lovers slowburn competitive figure skating AU.

Foolsong

Zuko is an idiot trying to get over a breakup, Sokka is a hockey boy, and online dating isn't really that awful.

Blue

Iroh insists they create a new life and identity in Ba Sing Se. Zuko wants nothing more than to bide his time until his next opportunity to return home, until he realizes ‘Lee’ can get away with things Zuko never could.

Zuko dons the mantle of the Blue Spirit again only to los e his focus when the Avatar comes to the city. This time, however, his attention is drawn to the annoying Southern Tribe warrior.

winter solstice: an addendum

Zuko gets imprisoned with Sokka and Katara during the winter solstice, and some very unfortunate things come to light. Alternatively: the gaang kidnaps adopts Zuko in book one after discovering just how awful his father is.

I'll Come Back Someday (For You)

“We’ll be together someday. I won’t stop looking until I find you again.”

Those words, Sokka thought, were a blessing.

After living through several lives without Zuko, they now feel like a curse.

They were the last words Sokka muttered to the Fire Lord on his death bed after saving Avatar Korra from an attempted kidnapping, and while he meant them, he didn't know that they would come true.

Yet, he tried, tried, tried again, and after cycling into his fourth life, he's starting to give up hope.

All until he walks into the Jasmine Dragon right next to Republic City University's campus.

(i'm sorry but) i'm just thinking of the right words to say

Zuko is the last person Sokka expects to end up as his roommate when he starts college. Sokka is the last person Zuko expects to befriend when he starts his whole life over. And no one who knows a thing about their shared past expects them to end up together. Except, maybe, Toph.

There's Bound To Be A Ghost At The Back Of Your Closet

Zuko needs a new dad, and Hakoda volunteers. A story spanning Zuko's old life, new life, and beyond

running right back to you

the air conditioning stops working at the Jasmine Dragon, and it's miserable until a cute stranger makes it a bit more bearable

Sorry, I Have to Move to Alaska!

Following a lengthy legal battle with Ozai, Iroh has full custody of his niece and nephew. Desperate to get Zuko and Azula away from Ozai (just in case) Iroh buys a tea shop in Anchorage, Alaska.

Sokka has been living in Anchorage since birth and nothing interesting ever happens in this city. Except less than a month into this school year, the mysterious new kid with a facial scar beats up a well-known student in first period.

purrfect for each other

because sometimes, it takes going to a cat café four times to realize you're in love with your best friend

The World We Dream About

A HS Theatre Kid AU where the gaang is in Hadestown, featuring all our favorite high school nostalgia moments and way too many tropes

when i'm set alight

“I’m going to go practice some firebending forms,” Zuko says stiffly, running a hand through the tangles in his hair. “Tell Aang to join me if he wants to once he wakes up.” Gold eyes dart up to where Aang had strung up a makeshift hammock and was still sleeping soundly, snoring like a buffalo yak.

“Alright,” Sokka says, watching as he walks out without another word, evidently having reverted back into his usual brooding self. “Have fun!” He calls after Zuko loudly, which he means to be sarcastic, but comes out painfully, embarrassingly sincere. His face burns, and as soon as Zuko passes out of sight into the the temple, Katara turns to him, leveling him with a Look.

“You like him.” She says, and it’s not a question.

Born Lucky

Zuko knew this would happen one day.

He really should've prepared better.

Of course, he'd imagined something like this many times. He'd see him-- or anyone from high school, really-- and he wouldn't even be recognized. They'd be immediately enamored with him and wouldn't even pause to think he looked like that one girl from high school.

Instead, he has a 24-year-old Sokka cradling a swollen wrist and smiling awkwardly up at Zuko.

like we're made of starlight

When former High Imperial Prince and Sith Acolyte Zuko defects to the rebellion Commander Sokka is tasked to keep an eye on him and bring him into the fold.

[causenessus]

🫧, 🧦, and 🌙!!

also, use this as an opportunity to gush abt a headcanon you have bc i want to know more abt you guys !!

MOLLY I LOVE YOU YOU'RE A LITERAL ANGEL THANK YOU FOR GIVING ME THIS FREEDOM <333 I WOULD LOVE TO HEAR ANY HCS ABOUT U AND AKAASHI AS WELL!!!

ask games (1 + 2 <3)

🫧- you're making a beaded bracelet for your f/o! what kind of beads do you use?

OKAY FUNNY STORY BUT I ACTUALLY DID MAKE EYE COLOR BRACELETS FOR SUNA AND ME <33 i'll probably rb this with a picture teehee <3 SO!!! i would totally use probably lots of wooden and metal beads that are definitely that are in a monochrome type color pallete. like probably lots of white beads (you'll see in the pic lmao), spacers are silver bc i'm a silver jewelry person <3 and wooden bc i love wood! and my eyes are brown so ig i'm just making him an eye color bracelet as well <33

🧦- which item from your wardrobe would you give to your f/o?

I'D GIVE HIM ANYTHING luckily all my clothes are like oversized so he probably lowkey borrows from it anyway. he sometimes steals my necklaces or most of the time will steal one of my rings and then wear it on a chain around his neck <3 if i'm not wearing it though i'd give him my old hs theatre hoodie or he can have my old senior pants LMAO they're like black dickies cargo pants that are WAY too big for me i looked like i had a boner (imaginary dick. sorry for the tmi but this is so funny to me) bc i'd have to wear a belt but yk like all the extra pant space just kind of sticks out awkwardly??? IDK HOW TO EXPLAIN IT SORRY but yeah he's walking around in black dickies pants that literally have handprints all over them on his ass :)

🌙- what is your f/o doing late at night when they can’t sleep?

answered here <3

extra headcanons

he washes my face for me sometimes. this is something i thought about last night which is what started this ALL but basically like i'll get home from work and i'm SO tired i just want to take off my makeup and fall into bed but he'll always follow me into the bathroom while i'm trying to clean up to keep me company and will say things like "but you'll feel sooo much better if you wash ur face rn instead of tomorrow morning" and he's right but i don't want to admit it </3 he'll end up resting his head on my shoulder and hugging me from behind whispering "i'll give u a kiss if u wash ur face rn :)" like he's not going to kiss me anyway but whatever ig. he'll help me put on a headband to keep my hair out of my face and either wash it for me or lets me if i'm up for it <3 then has to do my skincare bc that's one thing I'll refuse to do if he makes me wash my face (but then it ends up with me being like "no no. toner first. please use a cotton pad don't just slap it on my face. THEN moisturizer...") and then afterwards drags me to bed and he was right </3 i do feel better and usually pass out immediately, the last thing i feel being a kiss to the top of my head, wrapped in his arms <3

[allthelittlecreepycrawlies]

Time again for "Things I'll We'll Never Write"! This time, it's a discord collab with @micchikureshima!

So, a SangYao story based extremely loosely on the show The Romance of Tiger and Rose, wherein Nie Huaisang's mother decides she doesn't want to be separated from her theatre (and secretly also bandit) troupe while she's pregnant.

Playing with the much larger age gap idea I previously had, Huaisang is born at the same time Papa Nie is dying. In this timeline, childbirth doesn't kill his mother, but when she takes him to the sect, they don't even get past the gate.

The guards won't even look at the baby, because as long as they can't see green eyes, they can claim plausible deniability.

Pissed off by the lack of welcome, Huaisang's mama returns to the troupe with him, and the other performers/rogues become his unofficial uncles and aunties and cousins.

This Huaisang still has most of the health problems that we usually write, but he's introduced to being a charmer and a schemer very early in life. Pretty, clever, and the best actor in the troupe, he's everybody's little darling, especially since the birds he learns to train make for an excellent distraction.

Meanwhile over in the Jin sect, Meng Yao was graciously taken in after his mother's passing, and he even has the correct generational name, but it's still clear that he's little more than a glorified servant. Zixuan (awkwardly) tries to be nice to him and little Ziyu (who's in a similarly dismal situation as Ziyao) adores him, but he has no other allies in the sect.

His luck takes a considerable turn for the worst when he's caught up in a bandit raid and taken hostage with Ziyu as the only witness to his kidnapping.

Initially, the bandits didn't exactly mean to steal a member of the gentry, and once they realize they've got a Jin son, they're only looking for ransom.

A ransom he knows in his heart that his father's never going to pay.

He tries to keep his hopes up that someone will come for him, like his brother, or NieLan, but it quickly becomes evident that he's completely on his own.

(Meanwhile, unbeknownst to him, His brother and friends don't know he's missing, because when they noticed his letters had stopped coming, they'd been given some plausible bullshit about being out on assignment. By the time anyone thinks to ask little socially-invisible and skittish Ziyu if he knows where Ziyao is, a little over a month has passed.)

After they realize their hostage is essentially worthless, some of the bandits want to kill him, since he knows what they look like.

But Huaisang, having figured out what's up, offers him a proposal instead. Since no one's coming to take Ziyao back, what's stopping him from just... joining up with them? Hadn't they been generous hosts?

Ziyao is ready to blow that off, but the more he thinks about it... then yeah, aside from the bindings, they had treated him very well. Like an honored guest, even, which was certainly more than he got at home.

Though they're similarly matched in hidden weapons and strategy, Ziyao can handle an open fight much better than Huaisang can, so he's assigned as bodyguard.

It doesn't take Huaisang long to take a particular shine to him, and he's a very cuddly person.

It doesn't take Ziyao long to be won over by Huaisang's affection and charm.

(Fortunately for him, Huaisang's mama likes him too, because if she'd decided he was an unworthy suitor, the results wouldn't have been pretty.)

About this time, his brother and friends are now searching for him, and they're not exactly pleased to find he's willingly joined the elusive bandits plaguing the jianghu.

Especially not Nie Mingjue.

But he's quickly set straight when he runs into Huaisang and Mama and recognizes her, and once he gets the full story of how his (father's) sect rejected them, and how Ziyao's father left him out to dry, he becomes a lot less antagonistic.

(Though he's still extremely miffed about them being bandits.)

Zixuan and Xichen try to convince Ziyao to come home, but they too give up on learning that Jin Guangshan was perfectly willing to let him die.

(On noticing Ziyu with them, Ziyao secretly asks Huaisang if he'd be willing to perform another kidnapping as a courting gift. Huaisang is delighted by the request.)

At one point, as a result of getting poisoned by cultivators looking to bring down the troupe, Huaisang loses his memory and we get the iconic scene of

(And some other shenanigans happen along the way and afterwards but the important part is they do get to live happily married.)

"Who is this? He looks quite handsome... hey, how about you come with me and be my husband?"

"He is your husband."

"Since when have I been married to such a handsome man?! When and how did we meet?!"

"You kidnapped him."

"I kidnapped him... Ha, I'll do it again."

[our-magical-world]

My "improved CR" DR

NOTE: I haven't shifted yet, this is based on my script and ideas for this DR

To be honest, I don't even know if I'll end up shifting to this DR. Because at the end of the day, even if it's a better version of my CR and I have a good life there, it's still too similar to this reality, and I think I'll feel more at home in my fantasy world.

But this is the vision I had in my head when I learned about manifesting, before I knew about shifting, before I confirmed that shifting to my fantasy DR was even possible at all. I asked myself: if I can never go back there, if I have to stay here and live with the rules of this reality, what's the closest I can get? What kind of life would make me happy? And this is what I came up with. When I knew about shifting, I considered permashifting to this better CR life. But I'm not sure yet.

First, the most important thing for me was reuniting with my friends and s/o from my fantasy DR. I believe they're my soul family and I won't be complete without them. Just like we exist in every reality (according to the multiverse theory), I've always believed the people in my DR also exist here, in some way. So I'd find them, their "real world version", and they all would have memories of me and our original world, they were manifesting me as much as I've been manifesting them.

In this reality, me and my friends and s/o are master shifters, so we go to our fantasy DR regularly (group shifting) and I can also shift to any DR I want anytime.

We all live together in my dream house, a fairytale-like house surrounded by nature and close to the forest (but close enough to the city to go there taking a walk if needed, and my s/o and another friend have cars anyway just in case). We also have a big cozy library in the attic, with lots of fantasy books and comfy chairs and a table for reading, studying and writing, and a cozy shared studio with big windows looking out at the forest, where we can work on our projects or do our jobs from home. My friend, who is a mage in my fantasy DR and a witch in my CR, has a little garden where she grows herbs. Oh, important: I haven't decided where we live, but it's somewhere up North (can be North of Spain or another country) so I don't have to endure summer in Southern Spain ever again, because it's hell on earth.

I have enough money to live freely without being tied to a job (passive income or something) and can afford traveling often or buying anything I want. I only work on projects I'm passionate about, without worrying about making money with them (but I do anyway because they're always a success). I'm a multi-talented artist, because I can't choose just one thing: I draw and paint, write books and poetry, make fantasy costumes (for cosplay or medieval faires, for myself or as commissions), and work regularly as a voice actress. Sometimes I also work on theatre, especially musicals. I have the kind of life that never gets boring, because I always have new and different projects to motivate myself. And if I don't feel like working, or just want to work on personal projects and make art for myself, I can do it, so I'm never burned out. Besides doing art, I also work out everyday (m s/o loves working out so we often train together) and take long walks in the forest, sing and listen to music often (usually while I work), read books, or just take time to enjoy a cup of tea and relax.

We all have freelance jobs or do something that gives us a lot of freedom (working from home and having our own schedule), so we can travel a lot. We often travel together to magical places, and attend fantasy conventions and medieval faires and concerts of our favorite bands and artists all around the world. We also try to incorporate fantasy in every aspect of our life, anything that reminds us of our original world: our clothes, food, house decor, music... we play tabletop RPGs regularly and attend LARPs as often as possible, and try to make our lives as magical as possible. One of my friends is a musician and I love singing, so we have weekly evenings of singing and playing the guitar and imagining we're staying at the inn, or we camp in the woods and sing around the campfire. Just nostalgic things that remind us of our world.

In this reality I'm very similar to my CR self, just a slightly improved version (scripting out some insecurities and my anxiety, adding some more self-love and confidence). A version of me who is successful and free and loved and surrounded by friends.

Bonus: My style in my better CR

[ichinisankaku]

Event Translation - Spotlight ~Tsukushi High Side~ (Part 3)

Kumon: This board came out looking great too~

Classmate A: I know, right! We're gonna be done with time to spare at this rate.

Classmate B: By the way, is dance practice going well?

Kumon: Yeah! We all practiced in the audiovisual room earlier!

Classmate A: Ooh! I'm looking forward to it.

Homeroom Teacher: Are you guys still at it? I understand getting sucked in, but it's time to go home, you know~

Classmate B: Okaaaay… wait, it's already dark out!

Kumon: For real, I didn't notice at all!

…Ah.

Classmate A: What is it?

Kumon: …

Azami: …

???: BOO!!

Azami: !?

Kumon: Hehe, did I scaaare you? I saw you from my classroom, so I came out!

Azami: Uh… you could just approach me normally.

Kumon: Are you alone?

Azami: Yeah. I was preparing stuff for our class display earlier, and when I was about to walk home with my classmates, I realised I forgot something and came back for it.

Kumon: …Are your classmates not waiting for you?

Azami: I told 'em not to.

Kumon: That's good then~ I thought you were being bullied for a second!

Azami: The hell?

Kumon: Alright, let's go home together then!

Azami: …Are you not going with those guys? They're looking this way, they're from your class right?

Kumon: Yeah! But I'm going the same direction as you anyway!

Azami: Suppose so.

Kumon: Anyway, your class must be fired up, preparing stuff this late.

Azami: That's… the same for you.

Kumon: This is the last festival for us third years, so our excitement's different. But you must be looking forward to your first festival, huh?

I was also really looking forward to it when I was a first year, but…

Azami: …Did something happen?

Kumon: …Well.

It was my first culture festival after entering high school.

When I started here, I was feeling down about not getting into O-High…

But I forgot all about that when the festival rolled around, and had fun talking about this and that while preparing with my classmates, like I am now.

On top of that, the baseball club I was in was going to do a piece at the post-festival party, and we planned to show off our personal pitching techniques that year.

I was going to represent the first years as a pitcher, and show off a bunch of different pitching styles on stage.

I prepared for both at the same time, and the day before the culture festival…

I remember I could barely close my eyes, my heart pounding with both excitement for the festival and nervousness for my part in it.

The day of the culture festival arrived.

Even though I got to school safely, I developed a fever during the opening ceremony.

It was one of my usual stress fevers, and I ended up staying in the infirmary.

In the end, I wasn't able to take part in either my class's piece or the baseball club's.

Kumon: At the time, I was a bother to everyone around me and made them worry, so it's a super frustrating memory for me…

But since joining the theatre, I'm able to get those symptoms under control.

So while it's definitely not a lie to say I want to take part in our traditional performance, applying for it was also due to a personal desire to make a comeback.

I've even danced for a play now, so I think I'll be able to do more than I would've before.

Azami: …I see.

Well, I don't wanna go on about what's already passed, but… for now, it's fine as long as you enjoy it this time, right?

Kumon: …Yeah, that's right!

Azami: I'll be looking forward to your comeback.

Kumon: Hehe, I'm getting more and more fired up! I'm gonna do some training when we get home!

You should practice your rapping too, Azami!

Azami: I'm good.

[Prologue | Flora 1 | Flora 2 | Flora 3 | Flora 4 | Flora 5 | Flora Epilogue | Tsukushi 1 | Tsukushi 2 | Tsukushi 4 | Tsukushi 5 | Tsukushi Epilogue]

[br4inr0tx]

Hey darling! Match-up for Hazbin Hotel and The Arcana, please? 💕 I am a woman, INFP, 5'3", mid size, olive skin, brown eyes, medium wavy brown hair, bisexual. I'm aroflux, which means I experience variations in my romantic attraction. I mostly don't sense it, but if I actually end up getting a crush, I'll feel like I've been ran over by 100 unicorns. I'm a very friendly introvert. I am bubbly around my close friends, always super affectionate and supportive, however, going out and seeing people (even if pleasant) makes me run out of battery and I value my recharge/private time and personal space a lot. I like being alone often and enjoying my own company in peace. I am very sensitive, I love animals and feel empathy for all creatures, that's why I am strongly against killing bugs and other little ones when it can be avoided (I just put them outside, plus I find spiders adorable and I like letting them crawl on my arm). I get along with animals because I am very respectful towards them, and I've ridden horses for a while. I am a vegetarian who's trying to go vegan, and I enjoy cooking homemade meals. I dislike foods like McDonald's (no shame to whoever likes it tho!), and when I go outside to eat with my non-veg friends I sometimes bring something from home because I am scared there may not be food for me. I have a sweet tooth and I love cake, muffins, sweets pretty much (I am a weakling, give me a cupcake and I'll do anything you ask me), while I dislike bitter things. I do have pets, cats specifically, and I am NOT being dramatic when I say I'd die for them. I am fascinated by the macabre and a horror lover, both books and movies, and I can pretty much stand the sight of anything in films, but when I see flesh in the supermarket I cringe, and I am also terrified of the dark and never sleep without a little light on (how ironic). I enjoy dressing with stuff such as ribbons, hairpins with cute animals, colorful baggy shirts with cartoon characters etc., but I alternate this with sophisticated, more mature/vintage looks as well. My dream is to become a theatre actress, that's why I'm in a theatre academy! I am training in singing and coreographies, too (I am not very good because I just started tho🥲). I love acting because it makes me exorcise my strongest emotions, I am a very expressive person and I often feel like my energy needs to come out in spikes. [1/2, sending another ask with the rest because Tumblr still puts the 500 word limit on me!]

Fello theater kid I see? 🤝🖤

warning: dead animal/bug mention

your Hazbin Hotel matchup is.. Charlie Morningstar !!

• I have a very good felling you’d get along with Charlie. She matches your energy a lot in my opinion!

• She’s WAY taller then you. 6’-6’2 I believe. Any demon in hell (aside from imps) would be taller then you if we’re following Viv’s universe.

• The both of you are very friendly, so I’d imagine you’d get along very quick. Just by exchanging names I’d imagine Charlie would consider you a friend.

• Charlie gives enough equal support as you do with her. She doesn’t run on a social battery (as far as we’ve seen.), but understands you do. She leaves you be meanwhile she attends to the hotel.

• Charlie adores animals and bugs! Literally she will cry if she do a dead animal or bug on the road.

• I think she likes to home cook and bake, and would for sure do it with you if you ask!

• Only thing is, she’s not a vegetarian or vegan. I’d assume you respect her decisions, and usually doesn’t eat with you if you have an issue with it. Who knows, maybe you could convince her to go vegan if you if you wish?

• To match her sweet personality, I’d imagine she likes sweets too! Baking is something the two of you often do together.

• The two of you are cat moms! She loves your cats and would also die for them.

• She lives in hell, so I’m sure she’s accustomed to horror. She’s open to discuss it anytime with you.

• She LOVES watching horror movies with you especially!

• Charlie also loves to help you pick cute outfits. She likes to wear baggy and cutesy stuff when she’s not running the hotel or trying to be presentable I imagine, so she gets it.

• She gives massive theater kid energy. Like, have you seen her song? She’d definitely support you full force. She has to run the hotel though, so unfortunately I don’t think she’d be able to audition with you.

• Charlie can be messy and forgetful too, so the both of you can back each other up. (Try bracelet reminders! Those help me!)

• Charlie finds dad jokes funny. I will fight people on that.

• She doesn’t stand for bullying! It’s against the hotel too! She gets the same amount of rage when she sees someone hurt as you. Seriously, the two of you would be like two angry mothers defending their kid.

• For me, Charlie does acts of service without even realizing it. She does things for you without thinking just because she loves you.

• She does occasionally use pet names like "love" and "hun".

• She always asks permission before touching you. It’s a common thing for her, as she respects everyone’s boundaries and is a genuine therapist for everyone that needs it.

• I imagine she listens to the same stuff as you, maybe minus rock and metal. Not to say she isn’t open to it, it’s just not her thing.

• She loves to indulge in your hobbies! Even if she’s not good at them. Art for example; she likes to color though! She’s an amazing colorist imo.

• She’s a good balance for you. She treats you as an equal, and sees your opinions from your shoes. She hopes you’d do the same.

• Charlie is very good with kids, so she can quickly deal with them and get them out of your hair. That being said, I don’t think she’d necessarily want kids.

• Your runner ups would be Vaggie and Alastor!

• Overall, Charlie is the best match for you! Her spunky attitude will get you out of any funk your in, but as well motivate you. She understands your boundaries as on sad days she needs them too! Charlie gets you, and she hopes you get her too.

your Arcana matchup is.. Nadia Satrinava !!

• Nadia is the one for you! Portia was a close runner up, but I ultimately decided on the flip of a coin because I literally couldn’t decide. I can always type something out for Portia if you’re interested in her!

• She is also quite a bit taller then you. She doesn’t talk about it though.

• Nadia is a smooth talker, though I’d imagine she also has a social battery and appreciates her alone time much like you do.

• I believe Lucio’s dogs are still in the mansion? They aren’t easy to befriend, but who knows? You might be able to, but be careful. I don’t really remember since it’s been years since I REALLY touch Arcana, but I think the two dogs enjoy or tolerate her presence. In that case, they might be okay with you.

• She often prepares the best food for you, whatever you crave or desire. She’s not the best at cooking, and often leaves it for her servants, but she’d adore it if you taught her.

• Fancy for sweets? She’ll feed you all the sweets in the world! Most likely you’d need to be the one to tell her to stop.

• She takes interest in dark subjects sometimes, especially when it’s something she’s interested in. She’s always open to talk about them, as she loves making conversation.

• As for theater, she doesn’t know much about it but attends to all of your shows your casted in, making sure to get the best seats in the house every time.

• Nadia would love to learn more languages, and she’d ask you to teach her in your spare time.

• She’s very patient when it comes to knowing you, knowing sometimes you just can’t help but get distracted. She might tease you a little in a playful way, but she always means well.

• She enjoys listening to you ramble. As I mentioned she loves any sort of chit-chat. I think because it gets her mind off of the stresses of royal life.

• She finds your jokes funny. Seeing you happy makes her happy, even if she doesn’t find your jokes particularly funny.

• Her main love language is acts of service, and she does so much for you it’s unreal.

• She provide lots of beautiful cutesy loose-fitting gowns and just as you seem to live. Of course if you’d prefer to wear something other then a gown, that’s on the table as well.

• If you want cuddles, she’s quick to go in for them. At first she’s a little stand-offish I feel, but with your encouragement she excepts it wholeheartedly.

• She enjoys when you paper her back, and it always manages to get her to blush like crazy. She finds it extremely adorable (and slightly unexpected? But that’s just because she can be pessimistic, not because she thinks you don’t love her at all or she thinks lowly of you.). Also, always expect her to pamper you back twice as much afterward.

• She doesn’t seem like the type to want children? Even if she did, she’d always rely on your judgement first.

• You and Nadia would make a good and supporting couple. There would be a little competition on who would love the other more, but I think you both know it’s the same.

[moonpizzalol]

I want to know everything about your ocs, but if that's too much pressure, then I want to know about the oldest current oc you've had and how their story has changed overtime (or even just what their story is now)

well god i dont know if i can tell you about ALL my ocs, but ill tell you about some of my favorites!! First one i'll talk about is Connor Mulaney, a ceo of a casino empire in las vegas. she was raised in a pretty bad family where murder was normalized and encouraged for her, which is something she still carries into her life now. shes very silly one could say :3 Next oc is Dr. Clockwork, whos probably my favorite. He's a cold and stoic time scientist trying to find a way to control time, at least for himself. he was cursed by a time god who told him he'd die in 5 months, and he's trying to find a way to circumvent the curse. also half his face is metal :3 Next up is Candyman! Candyman's real name is Zachary Lawrence, and he once lived a normal life with a wife and his kid, jade. things started going downhill when his wife died in a car accident. but things went on. Until jade went to an arcade with her friends and didn't come home. they weren't found for six days, until the police found their barely recognizable body. After learning of this, Zachary fell into a very deep depression, barely getting out of his bed or taking care of himself. Until one day, he was at a theatre, and during the intermission while he was buying snacks, he ended up venting everything to a cashier, who recommended he try Smilers, a new drug bar that makes people weirdly happy. So he did. And he became very addicted. He somehow landed a job as a theatre performer, and since no one knows his name, they call him Candyman. But the same thing that killed his child is hunting him. Last one i'll talk about is Flipside. Flipside is a short shadow being (a species i made) that is a guardian of the third key. He's usually very chill, but takes his job VERY seriously, and has a bit of trouble letting people do things such as guarding, or other things he takes very seriously. He's also my main sona :3 That's it! well besides for my oldest oc, her name is spirit and getting into her could fill a book. Thanks for asking!!

[toomuchracket]

girl. You are not coming across as needy. I am NOSY. Being in love??? Leaving for 5 months?? Would it make u feel better if we all share our most heartbreaking stories 🙏🏻🙏🏻

buckle up babies, it's a loooooong story

so. i'm doing a masters degree rn, a writing one. it's at the same uni i did my undergrad at, so on day 1 i was like oh ok i know some people but i don't know others, and i'm standing outside the class before we're due to start talking to some people i knew. and this new guy walks up, and my heart falls out of my ass (for lack of a better expression). tall(er than me), dark curls, eyes like paul mescal, lithe, lips that i wanted to superglue myself to. he's on the course too. we introduce ourselves. when we go into the room, he sits next to me. i look to the side at one point and my eyes are ASSAULTED by a glimpse of a silver chain around his neck. oof. i get the subtle feeling that this man may be a problem for me.

nothing huge happens for a while. we talk. we become friends. we get into a routine of walking towards the train stations (we leave from different ones) after classes. we become so close we begin to proof each other's work. he opens up to me during the process, and i reciprocate. he's sensitive in a non-toxic way. he's always down for a group hangout after class. he's a year older than i am. he likes to buy me drinks and gets annoyed when i try to do the same for him, but begrudgingly accepts my politeness - i soon learn just to let him foot the bills. he likes to gently take the piss out of me, see me blush and stutter over my words as i defend myself. i normally hate that, but not from him.

and then we're in a last-minute writing session with some other friends one night - finalising the pieces we've been proofing for each other. he's opposite me, then sits beside me - thighs-touchingly close. pulls my laptop to him and just reads. i tell him there's something i'm not happy with. he says i'm daft for thinking that. while he reads, he praises my work, praises my ideas, praises me, bordering on whispering this directly in my ear. he holds my hand and squeezes it when i leave for the train that night. i read his work when i get home, and praise it in return over text. he tells me i'm being too nice to him.

the next time something happens is at a literary event. at first the table is full of our friends, and then they peel off one by one, until it's me and him and wine and candlelight and vulnerable conversation and supportive arm touches - he likes to do that too, i notice, but he's always initially hesitant, as if i'll mind. i never do. he listens to me fully, looks at me softly but intently, smiles at me like he's discovering joy for the first time. i'm more aware of my heartbeat than i ever have been before. he walks me all the way to my station that night, still talking to me about anything and everything. i give him a music recommendation. he takes it gladly. when we part, there's another arm touch, but it feels like there should've been more.

i don't see him until the new year. his hair is shorter, but it still looks good. he misses an event. i tell him he's missed. he's touched by that. i share an idea for a novel i want to write, and it moves him. he says he loves the way my brain works.

we go to another event. he asks to meet me from the train and get the subway through to the venue. we chat. we laugh. he fake cries when i walk too far ahead of him. we sit, squished like sardines in a tin, on the subway. i think of the Don't Delete The Kisses video and blush. he smiles at me. we walk along to the venue. it's cold, but beautiful. i desperately want to hold his hand. when we reach the queue our friends say our names in the same breath. it sounds like we're together. i like it a lot. we sit next to each other inside - thighs touching, our usual, in the darkness of the theatre. we buy each other drinks, and get a bit tipsy. we laugh at the event, whisper our opinions, turn to each other when we think of something clever. time wears on. he checks his watch, and leans into me. do i want to leave with him now, so we can both get the train home in time? yes. i do. he waits until i buy some merch, then we go - back into the beautiful night, back into the cold. this time, i'm brave, and squish into him to keep him warm. he doesn't say anything, but it doesn't feel weird. he leans on me in the subway - not full head on shoulder, but still. when we get back out into the night and have to part ways, he pulls me into a tight hug and tells me to get home safe. this is new. this is big.

he's quiet the next time we're in class together. neither of us mention the previous weekend, but when he leaves early he reaches his hand out to me, then pulls it away quickly. hmmm.

i get a piece published - the one he praised in my ear. he texts me a congratulations, says i deserve it. the next time i see him, he hangs back in a bust corridor to walk with me and tell me he's proud of me. i preen a bit.

and then i lose him a bit. there's another girl. they're on a work experience module together. she has a complex love life. i think nothing of it, until he appears on her instagram story one day, boyfriend-like in a museum archive room. my heart sinks into my stomach. whatever.

we don't see each other for a fortnight. classes are on a break, deadlines are piling in. and then today. our last classes of the course. we talk as normal. he's hyper. it's cute. we go for drinks with our friends after class - he finally lets me buy him one, but insists on buying the final round. we open up about our work again, bounce ideas around, reassure the other that their plans are great. i can feel myself looking at him adoringly. i want him to talk to me forever. when i talk, he leans his head on the table, tilts it up towards me, smiles tenderly, and looks at me like i hung the moon. my heart swells. it's overwhelming.

he has to leave for a meeting. we won't see each other until we graduate. he tells the group he's bad at keeping in touch with people. i tell him i'll make sure he improves. he giggles. says he'll hold me to that. winks at me, waves to the group, and leaves. i miss him as soon as he walks round the corner. the thought of five months without him makes me want to cry.

he's all i've thought about since i got home. i don't want him to not be in my life. but i don't know what'll happen now.

[carleylyonwrites]

Ever since 2016, my evenings and weekends have been filled with theatre. And I don't mean watching it — I mean creating it. Directing, performing, dramaturge-ing (is there an actual word for that?), flipping from hanger to hanger in closets stuffed to the brim with vintage costumes, rummaging through mountains of props, building up confidence in bright-eyed young actors, pacifying my fair share of divas... and holding my breath as the music fades down, the lights fade up, and the play begins.

All of this was crammed into the hours of the day not occupied by a nine-to-five job. Theatre is not something I have to do. It's something I choose to do because of the joy it brings me. I've been asked many times over the years by family and friends, "Don't you get tired?" And my honest answer has always been, "No way. I love it."

But today, in the year of our Lord 2023, as a 30-year-old woman who's been involved in something like 17 productions since graduating from college, I am officially tired.

It's kind of weird when I think about it, because I know people twice my age who are hustling just as hard — if not harder — than I was, and they don't seem to be burnt out. Then again, what's that thing people always say, something about how "the only person you should be competing with is yourself"? Pretty sure someone said that. Once. Maybe. Anyway.

This doesn't mean I don't adore live theatre, or performing, or directing. It doesn't mean I want to stop forever. But life has taught me that when intuition speaks, I'm a fool if I don't listen. When I picture sitting down at my desk to block a show, when I imagine finishing up my day job only to jump in the car and drive off to a rehearsal that will stretch all the way up to (and nowadays, past) this gal's bedtime, I feel visceral resistance, with two simple words permeating every ounce of my being:

Maybe you've got something in your life that has burnt you out, like theatre has burnt me out. Maybe your intuition is telling you it's time to take a break. If that's the case, consider this your sign to listen to that intuition. I did, and after politely declining a few opportunities in 2023 that — while lovely on paper — sent my gut running for the hills, I feel like I've just taken one giant exhale.

Without any further ado, and because we love a list in this house, here is a list of five things I'm going to do this year with all the glorious spare time I'll have in light of my lil hiatus from the stage.

Number 1: Literally Nothing Jerry: "So uh, what'd you do last night?" Elaine: "Nothing." Jerry: "I know, 'nothing,' but what did you actually do?" Elaine: "Literally nothing. I sat in a chair and I stared." I firmly believe that we as human beings should be shamelessly vocal in our desire to do nothing. In 2023, I will be blocking off entire evenings to do nothing. Get home from work, make some dinner, futz around with jigsaw puzzles, rewatch Gilmore Girls for the billionth time. And if someone asks me, "Hey are you busy Tuesday night? Wanna hang out?" on a night when I've scheduled nothing, my answer will be, "Yeah, sorry, I'm busy Tuesday doing nothing." Here's the way I look at it: My husband and I want to have a child soon. This may be the last year for the foreseeable future that I'm not responsible for the survival, happiness, health, and well-being of a helpless potato sack (albeit a cute potato sack whom I will love with all my heart) of a human being. So yeah. I feel like I deserve a year where, several nights per week, I do absolutely nothing. Number 2: Read a Bunch of Books I used to avoid reading for leisure at all costs. There are a few reasons for this. First and foremost, I was usually too busy reading scripts so I could come up with production concepts, block shows, conduct research, memorize lines... all that jazz. Second, I hated the ergonomics of reading. I was always uncomfortable, and I was too busy fixating on my discomfort to process any of what I was attempting to read. And third, I have this thing where I hate the way pages feel between my fingertips. Sacrilege, I know. Then, a year or so ago, I gave an e-reader a chance. And dangit, if that thing didn't change the trajectory of my entire life.

I dislike Jeff Bezos as much as the next middle class citizen, so I gerrymander my ethics by adoring my sticker-covered sage green Kindle Paperwhite, drawing the line at actually buying books from Amazon. Instead, I've turned into a Libby app addict, renting the e-books from my local library. And you know what? I can live with that. Especially because it's led to an approximately 3,900% increase in the number of books I read annually. I set a Goodreads goal to read 30 books in 2023. It's Feb. 1, and I've already read 12. I'm no mathematician, but all signs point to yes, devouring works of fiction is a way that I actually want to spend my time. Number 3: Paint Silly Little Pictures I'll keep this one short, because there's really no big story to it. Painting is one of those things that makes me feel warm, fuzzy, and fulfilled inside. Am I an expert painter? No. Are there hundreds of millions of better painters than me in this world? Absolutely. Do the images I paint make my heart happy? Yep. They really do. There is something so darn cool about seeing a thing or a place in my head, and then creating it out of thin air. That's what painting is for me. I just love it, plain and simple, but I've so rarely had the time to sit down and do it regularly. This year, Imma do that.

Number 4: Climb (Fake) Rocks Physical fitness is the worst thing ever, period. I don't want to work out. I don't enjoy working out. I don't feel healthy or happy or accomplished after I work out. I'm also 30, and I'd like to, you know, survive for a while yet. So, against all odds, I found a workout routine that doesn't make me want to curl up in a dark corner and die: rock climbing.

Rock climbing holds a special place in my heart as the one activity in high school gym class that I actually enjoyed. And when an old college friend and I recently reconnected, and I found out they were a member at a climbing gym, I thought, "Hmm... maybe. Just maybe."

Am I any good at it? Hell no. But is it tons of fun? Is it a challenge that for some reason keeps drawing me back in for more? Is the chalk bag I bought very adorable and aesthetically pleasing? Do I feel kinda sexy and adventurous while doing it?

Hell yes.

And you best believe getting home from rehearsals at 10:30 or 11 PM every night was draining my already non-existent motivation to exercise well below zero. Thus, the year of no theatre becomes the year I try (and probably fail, but who cares?) to become a semi-decent climber.

Number 5: Make Music I'm pretty darn lucky to have grown up in a musical household. Both my parents can play the piano, and I started messing around on a baby grand (I know, right? Privilege for days) when I was about 5 years old. I'm no Mozart, and I'm definitely not the best pianist in my family, but I can play pretty darn well, and I miss the days where I used to be able to sit at the piano for two, three, four-hour stretches and just play. Stumble through sheet music with my mediocre reading skills, figure out favorite songs by ear, play old classics that my muscles refuse to forget. I never want to say to someone, "Oh, I used to play all the time, but I can't remember any of it anymore." So this year, we're setting aside designated time for piano therapy.

In January, I learned how to play "Rocket Man." Solid start. So maybe I shoot to learn one song per month. That'd be pretty cool. And if a song a month is too much, that's okay, too. The chance to even sit and improv for a few hours after work is something that completely fell by the wayside when evenings were all booked up, and on weekends, exhaustion caught up to me and deterred me from using any kind of creative energy. The idea of waking up early on a Saturday morning and plucking away, no schedule, nowhere to be, no one to tell me it's time to stop? Yes, please.

Well, I guess that's it. Or as the kids say (I think they say this?), "That's it. That's the Tweet."

Happy 2023, everyone.

[vf-thompson]

Film Review: Midsommar Reveals the Unspeakable Horror at the Heart of Going Over to Dinner at Your Swedish Friend's House

So, this was a weird one to watch with my mom and sister over Christmas break, 2021, while i recovered with her from a tumultuous emotional upheaval in my life. You know when your anarchist food distribution network implodes on itself because of assault allegations, and then your entire life blows up from the emotional fallout because you were supposed to move in with the guy at the center of it all? No? Well, when that happens, it leaves you in the right frame of mind to suggest Ari Aster's Midsommar as a perfect bit of family bonding to watch with your death doula mother and estranged intrepid globe-trotting sister. "You guys like psychological thrillers, right?" i naively said, queuing the film up. As Mr. Aster so beautifully illustrates in this nasty little movie, there truly is no place like home for the holidays.

My first viewing of the film had been two years earlier, when i was living in a thirty-bedroom party house near a large university, which was honestly pretty similar to the sinister Nordic society that Aster dreams up here. i was myself (allegedly) on shrooms when i wandered into the living room to see Florence Pugh's simpering, miserable face, surrounded by breathing flowers.

It wasn't until later, viewing the film in full with a close friend in their room, that i realized the flowers in this movie are just f**kin' like that.

i had seen the trailers for the film, been interested, and promptly forgotten of its existence, having not yet seen Aster's previous nightmare, Hereditary. Watching it that night in my friend's darkened lair of a room, stoned to the bone while she ran torture mods on her Sims on her laptop, i was a changed woman. i was, now and forever, Ari Aster's little bitch, cursed to simp for everything the man touches until i am pushed from the top of the senior citizen high dive cliff myself.

i'll be the first to admit that Aster by no means makes perfect films. Built on the bones of classical tragedy and comedy the way they are, they are rudimentary films, hardly cerebral like his contempories Eggers and Peele. There is something almost primal about Aster's gaze. Pelle sums it up best, as he explains the function of his remote village's midsummer festival to the film's protagonist Dani: "It's like a play," he says. Indeed, as Hereditary turns a bare bones haunted house story into a Greek tragedy, this film turns the macabre pageantry of rustic European folk dancing into a basic, almost paint-by-numbers, slasher flick. The cast of mostly disposable college students are picked off one-by-one by the rural pagans. It's hardly breaking new ground here—but treading old ground seems to be Aster's primary project. The man dances on top of graves with a wicked abandon, and if you're not privy to his particular brand of self-aware theatre kid shenanigans, it can be... a lot.

My mother and my sister were, for example, less than enthralled with my gushing over the ways Aster deftly compares the base, cathartic tradition of watching a bunch of co-eds get their shit wrecked with ooky-spooky horror-fied neopagan rituals. What can i say? i thought that she, as a hospice nurse who studies death practices around the world, would think it was interesting.

At its core, Midsommar is a movie about losing all the stability in your life, and having it completely colonized by found family, like honey bees building their hive in the skull of a lion. Found family is usually a treacly trope, one which ties characters together through strength found in their shared struggled against adversity. Midsommar flips that on its head, introducing us, in a manner not unlike Disney's classic film Meet the Robinsons, to the adoptive familial unit from hell. It raises the spectre of classic daylight horror cinema like The Wicker Man, trampling on its burial mound with manic dancing feet. Family traditions can be murder. As stated, the message is blunt as a hammer. Aster is not a subtle film-maker. Indeed, the opening shot establishes the whole film, just as in Hereditary, as nothing but an elaborate puppet show where the puppets bleed. A lot. In many respects it is the same movie told over again, with Aster's dolls moved from the dollhouse to the garden outside.

Simply put, the movie is incredibly pretty, incredibly fun if you're into this kind of things, absolutely insufferable if not. The soundtrack, color-grading, and ending sequence are transcendent. When Father Odd tells Dani "Welcome home," upon arriving in the village, you will either fall for their intoxicating spell, or you'll be smart enough to get the hell out.. Either way, i recommend it heartily, and can not recommend (allegedly) dropping shrooms at the same time as the characters in the film enough.

Read on LetterBoxd HERE.