#if i find out i was just about to get my period and it's actually not that deep im gonna scream

[hiddengiggles]

Let’s talk about consent and smart ways to play

Yes, consent can be revoked at any time. That’s normal and your boundaries should be reexamined regularly as part of your own check ins.

No, it doesn’t mean either party did anything wrong, it can just be a change of what either wants. Shaming either party for changing their mind serves no one. Don’t act like the person who was receiving the action is unfair or a “tease” for changing their mind. Don’t act like the person giving the action was bad or wrong for doing the thing for which they had consent at the time because you didn’t like it.

Yes, it’s awesome to be able to open yourself up and be vulnerable for different activities and kinks. When you don’t have a partner to engage with regularly, it can be thrilling to finally find a person to play with, I know.

No, blanket consent for EVERYTHING right from the jump is NOT a good idea. If you’re connecting with a play partner the first few times, start slow and expand. Feeling enough trust to give consent for some kinks can and probably should take time so uou can be really comfortably vulnerable

Yes, it is exciting to safely meet play partners from the online world when you are BOTH ready for it! When you’re safe about meeting (getting to know them slowly, setting a neutral meeting point, letting a few people know where you’re going and the name of your friend, etc) it can be a great way to get time with your kinks. When it isn’t forced, rushed, or for too long a time period, the organic connection can be magical!

No, you should not assume each party is on the same page unless you’ve communicated multiple times, especially in writing. If you had a phone call a month ago that talked about boundaries and assume all is well, you’re not actually playing safely. Some people write out rules, some BDSM players sometimes make it a “contract”, but a verbal conversation will not protect you or help you if worse comes to worst. This is especially important for partners still new to playing together. Record the hard conversations in some way.

Yes, you can start a conversation on boundaries and kinks with generalization. Example on my end, my husband and I both are okay with pictures and videos taken of us and posting them. In the early days of our relationship, we checked every time we played “Is it okay if I film this?” but after years together we’ve both agreed it’s okay to take them anytime, though we check with each other if we’re comfortable with what was captured regularly.

No, a general conversation is not enough. Continuing my example, we both have boundaries for ourselves and for each other to make sure we’re okay with it being posted (or sometimes sold). Earlier today, I put on a really pretty lingerie set for some birthday giggles. However, I stopped and asked “If you wanted to film this, would you be comfortable with me being seen in this publicly? Our usually boundaries call for a top and bottoms covering”. He paused, considered, and said no, so I put on a tank top and shorts too. Get specific with every aspect of your play, from your comfortable clothing levels, to where content can be posted, to areas you don’t want touched that day that you might normally be okay with otherwise. Assuming you already know the answer is not enough, say it again.

Consent is a lot bigger and more complicated than just this post, so talk about it A LOT with your partner(s). The biggest key to a good relationship in and out of kink (friendship, mentorship, romantic relationship) is to NEVER STOP TALKING. Communication is key, talk about your boundaries and consent over and over and over. They will change and grow, and so will you.

Mistakes and miscommunications will happen, but it’s important to talk about them like the grown people you are. A lot of consent issues with new partners aren’t malicious, they can easily stem from either party being unclear or simply not thinkinh to ask about something that could be a boundary issue. Unless it was a blatant “I KNEW the boundary and disregarded it purposely because I wanted to do it” situation, be an adult and talk about it. If you’re adult enough to be engaging in activities or kinks for adults, you need to follow through and talk about what went right and wrong. Learn and grow from the stuff you didn’t do as well before, accept responsibility for your part, and move on, with or without that partner.

[ladyloveandjustice]

My Top 12 Favorite Anime of 2024 (and more)!

We had a lot of good anime in 2024, so here's the list of my top 12 favorites and some bonus great anime as well. If you get tired of clicking the review links, check out my anime overview collection for all of them here.  

(There are a couple anime on here I never gave an official review due to not watching during the season they were airing, and their sections are a bit longer) These are in no particular order!

Delicious in Dungeon (a.k.a Dungeon Meshi)

Dungeon Meshi  is one of my favorite stories period, and easily my top anime of the year. You've likely heard of it, but the basic premise is that a group of adventurers need to rescue a member of their party who's stuck in the bowels of a dungeon, and rather waste precious time earning money for food, they decide they'll just eat the monsters in the dungeon as they go.

The story combines cooking and adventure animanga expertly, it has meticulous and fascinating worldbuilding, top-tier character design, a great plot, it's funny as hell, and I love its characters dearly. It's not just about food, but the cycle of life and death, hunger of all kinds, ecosystems and societies and finding solace in the monstrous...there's a lot cooking underneath it all!

I adore our main cast of eccentric weirdos who slowly form a strong bond, and even the characters who have five minutes of screen time feel like you could watch a spin-off series about them. Everything is just so well fleshed-out.

So, go ahead and eat up! And read my review here for more!

Mayonaka Punch

Canceled YouTuber, Masaki, meets a pathetic lesbian vampire, Live. Live agrees to help Masaki launch a new YouTube channel, but in exchange, Masaki has to let Live suck up all her blood when they reach 100 million subscribers.

 This is the kind of stuff I watch anime for. This is what dreams are made of.

Do you support women's wrongs? Are you craving some women who are loveable shitheads? Do you want a great ensemble comedy about five disaster vampires wreaking havoc and a cynical human along for the ride? This show has all that, plus some down bad lesbian vampire shenanigans! But there's also a lot of growth for the main character, and the show has a lot of pathos in how it explores how the internet and its outrage train can do a number on one's mental health.

It's a ton of fun! See my full review here!

Magilumiere Magical Girls Inc.

Being a magical girl is no longer the domain of teenagers, and has evolved into an actual career dominated by adult women. Kana becomes a magical girl for a scrappy start up company, and tries her best to navigate working life.

It's the magical girl story about adult women I've been craving for years! Magical girl media often explores the struggles of adolescence and growing up, and this show takes us to the next step by using magical girls to explore what it’s like to be a young woman entering the working world. The focus is one Kana struggling to grow her confidence and accept support from her workplace, but it also has a lot to say about companies exploiting their workers, prizing efficiency and growth over actually taking care of their customers, and it shows how the world could be better than what it is right now. Check out my review here for more detail!

Girls Band Cry

After being bullied, Nina drops out school and ends up starting a band with four other girls, including the woman whose music saved her at her darkest moment. Nina's determined for the band to stick it to the people who once looked down on them. GBC features some wonderfully messy and entertaining teenage girls, actually incredible CGI animation and great music. Nina, the lead, is allowed to be angry and obnoxious and powered by spite, but the narrative sympathizes with her and loves her spirit, even if she sometimes messes things up. All the girls have rough edges and raw emotion and a great dynamic with each other. They also flip people off a lot.

It was kind of screwed over by streaming, but don't sleep on it! See my review here!

Natsume's Book of Friends (Season 7) 

Anime's sweetest boy and his horrible cat (affectionate) are back, and it's time for more yokai adventures! I’ve already talked at length about how this series is special–check out my series review/ Rec post for the series here. I also did an article titled The Courage to Speak: Mental Illness and Recovery in Natsume’s Book of Friends that goes into more in-depth analysis. The story is sweet and charming and sometimes heartwrenching and very important to me.

It's yet another season of lovely, bittersweet yokai tales that tug on your heartstrings, the characters continue to heal and grow in slow but satisfying ways. It just feels so nice watching this series again and letting the love, comfort, and catharsis wash over me. See my review here.

Dead Dead Demon's DeDeDeDe Destruction

A giant mothership is hovering over Tokyo. The aliens have done nothing, not even leaving their ship, but Japan and America are already trying to blow that UFO up, and show off who has the best weapons, causing many civilian casualties along the way. Meanwhile, two girls are just trying to living their lives.

This anime goes hard on criticizing the military industrial complex, Japanese nationalism and imperialism, American imperialism, xenophobia, mistreatment of immigrants, rich people, and conspiracy theorists. That means it's often devastating and visceral, but it also follows some fantastic weird girls and their ride-or-die soul bond, as well as other charming, funny teenagers who are just trying to live in a world falling apart around them. You can also look forward to some plot twists that recontextualize everything you know!

(One thing I want to say is if you care about being intensely spoiled, do not watch “episode 0” until you’ve finished episode 16. It actually slots chronologically between episode 16 and 17, but for some unknown reason the anime did it out of order)

You should also see my review for some content warnings and more detail, you can read it here.

Senpai is an Otokonoko

 Makoto is an "otokonoko" ( a term that means crossdressing boy) and he's struggling with his relationship to gender. A girl named Aoi confesses to him, thinking he's a girl. But he reveals the truth, she's ecstatic about it, much to his shock. Meanwhile, Makoto's best friend is a deeply closeted gay guy harboring a crush on him, and things are getting complicated.

It's tough to be a queer kid in a world full of rigid gender roles and insidious homophobia, and this anime shows the unfairness of that struggle. But it also shows the joy of finding those who accept and understand you, and of slowly becoming comfortable with who you are. The show knows how to make you really roots for these great kids, and it's really good at tugging the ol' heartstrings. See my review here for more!

A Sign of Affection

The anime follows Yuki, a shy girl who's been deaf since birth, and Itsuomi, a world-traveler and polyglot, fall in love. They both live in very different worlds, but as their romance blooms, they're eager to learn more about each other.

A Sign of Affection is shoujo romance at its sweetest, with soft colors, gentle blushes, tender moments, and plenty of warm fuzzies. The animation is beautiful and the show treats Yuki's perspective with care and delicacy as the story goes on. It also have a great focus on communication and consent in a relationship. Read my review here! 

YATAGARASU: The Raven Does Not Choose Its Master

In this world, people have the ability to shapeshift into yatagarasu, the giant three legged ravens from Japanese mythology. Prince Wakamiya, who's next in line for the emperor, is thought to be an incarnation of the powerful "Golden Raven", so the four women chosen as his bride candidates (each who carry the hopes of their respective provinces) compete fiercely for his hand. Yukiya, a canny young boy, has been pulled into being the prince's attendant, and both Yukiya and the women soon find themselves pulled into a deadly web of mysteries and political machinations.

Yatagarasu is a tightly woven tale of political intrigue, featuring lots of palace folk plotting against each other, multiple assassination attempts, spies, fascinating worldbuilding and use of mythology, well executed plot twists, and complex characters. Yukiya is a very likeable little trickster with a heart of gold, and he works well as an audience surrogate who has to keep up with all this weird court drama. In the first half, the story focuses a lot on on women contending with rigid roles and how that leads to both enmity and empathy between them. But disappointingly, most of those characters are dropped or have their roles reduced in the second half of the anime, which is a shame.

Overall, this anime is a story that hooks you with it's story and never lets go. It has a deliciously dark atmosphere and it keeps you thinking. It's just plain good, and pretty underrated, so I'd suggest checking it out!

The Apothecary Diaries (Episodes 13-24)

The second half of The Apothecary Diaries was somehow even better than the first half, crafting a compelling ongoing mystery and delving into MaoMao’s backstory. There were quite a few big thrills that made me gasp aloud. MaoMao, the world's best poison-obsessed detective, pulled off some show-stopping feats and she remains an incredible, endearing character. Especially now that we’ve learned she has a killer evil laugh. Check out my review of the first part of The Apothecary Diaries here and slightly more detail on this run of episodes here.

Dandadan

 Another one you've probably heard of, it's the story of two kids- Momo, who was abducted by aliens and Okarun, who was cursed by a yokai. Now they have to break Okarun's curese while aliens and yokai are hunting them!

Dandadan is an anime bursting with absurd action and humor, and it has a boppin’ soundtrack and amazing animation from Science Saru. It’s wildly weird in the best way, and the characters are hilarious lovable losers. It's also the rare example of a battle shonen that actually treats its female lead as an equal to her male partner, in screen time and in battle. I adore Momo with all my heart- she's fun, she's bombastic, she's badass, she's everything.

However, the main problem I have with the show is its pattern of putting Momo in sexual peril. I go into more detail about this and the show in general in my review here.

Train to the End of the World

 A story about four girls and a dog traveling across a weird, warped version of Japan to find their missing friend, Train to the End of the World is wild. I absolutely adore bizarre anime about equally bizarre girls, and this delivers. We see the girls encounter a cult with mushrooms growing out of their heads, screaming goatmen and even zombies on their journey. The dynamic between the different characters is great, and the dialogue is snappy. If you appreciate wild and weird zaniness that also has a lot of heart and great friendships, give this show a try. My full review is here.

Bonus Anime- some other stuff you might want to check out!

Cherry Magic! Thirty Years of Virginity Can Make You a Wizard?!

Despite an extremely goofy title Cherry Magic quickly became a surprisingly grounded, thoughtful and heartfelt BL romance worth watching. See my full review here.

7th Time Loop: The Villainess Enjoys a Carefree Life Married to Her Worst Enemy!

Rishe has lived seven lives, had lots of adventures, and in every single one of them, she has been killed as result of the world war started by the emporer of a neighboring kingdom. Each time Rishe dies, she's sent back to the moment the crown prince broke off their engagement (he wanted her to be devastated but she's actually pretty happy about it). But in her seventh life, the future Emporer is instantly smitten by how cool she is and proposes to her immediately. Rishe decides she might as well enjoy life chilling in the palace before things inevitably go to hell.

7th Time Loop is a fun concept for a story, and it features a vivacious, badass heroine who's a joy to watch. Having lived as a commoner in most of her past lives, she's sympathetic to the poor and is ready to use her smarts to help people--whether it's going undercover to help a maid who's being bullied or addressing illiteracy among the servant girls. Basically whether it's beating up kidnappers or politically maneuvering, she's just very cool and brave, but still flawed enough to be relatable. While her love interest is a bit too stoic and broody for me, I do deeply relate to how Rishe's badassery clearly turns him on. It's just a neat little story, even if the plot is sometimes silly (mostly the antagonist in the last few episodes made no sense), it's always a good time. A josei anime about an awesome gal is just what the doctor ordered.

Acro Trip

A silly show about a magical girl fangirl who's recruited to an evil organization by an incompetent villain,  Acro Trip is a lot of fun, and I recommend it to any magical girl enjoyer. I also recommend it to anyone who loves pathetic failguys and girls. Our "villain" Chrome is the most hilariously pathetic of them all. You like bad boys? Well this man is literally bad at everything. See my full review here.

Whisper Me a Love Song

 I have to give a shoutout to the only textual yuri anime that came out this year--it's production basically completely collapsed, but it's still watchable and the story is a sweet and solid girl band romance. At least consider giving the manga a shot if nothing else! See my review here!

[impactrueno]

Do you have any advice for small artists who want to grow an audience on social media? If so, what's a good platform for it?

man, i really don't know how helpful i can be about this. i very rarely post with that much intent, i just do whatever i want and i'm stupid lucky that people happen to enjoy that. so there's that, and also the fact that i grew my audience organically years ago, before we entered the dark age of social media. so whatever i did then, might not work now. (plus i literally don't even know what i did)

if you're an artist, social media platforms all suck right now. period. so really, just spread out. be on all of them if you can until one of the algorithms picks you up because unfortunately this stuff is luck based at this point. ok well not entirely luck based, obviously each platform has its own tricks to working the algorithm to your favor, but THAT, i have no clue about, i'm sorry. i don't understand the algorithms so i just never bother, feels like it only gets worse with time.

what i do know is that finding your niche will help you a lot with growing an audience. i'm gonna review my own experience as an example and share some stuff i picked up on along the way.

fanart helps a lot, especially at the beginning. but make fanart of stuff you're actually passionate about, not stuff just for clout. from my experience, i noticed that people can always tell when something was done with love, and judging by the comments i get, that's a pretty big thing that draws people to my art. there's always someone telling me "i don't even know anything about (insert franchise i'm fixated on) but your art and enthusiasm is making me want to check it out" so it's not really like your audience has to be compromised of nothing but fans of the thing you're drawing! it probably will be at the beginning though, just keep at it.

once you have a small audience and you feel like branching out, you might want to consider what the bulk of your audience is into because this is how you're gonna find your niche. in my case for example: a lot of my following came from my simpsons fanart randomly blowing up on social media. people who enjoy the simpsons usually also enjoy other 90s cartoons, so when my focus shifted to hey arnold, people loved it and it drew in even more fans of 90s cartoons. so the large majority of my audience comes from those two fandoms. every now and then though, i make fanart of other stuff i really love but i don't have the audience for it, whatsoever. like whenever i draw persona/megaten or zelda or pokemon, despite these franchises being incredibly popular, it's always flop city for me. because there's not enough overlap between those and my 90s cartoon oriented following. it's just not what people expect from me, and it's not that they hate it, but that fanart is gonna have a really hard time reaching its target audience unless you get lucky. but you know what did blow up recently? my beetlejuice fanart! and the pattern is there once more: 90s cartoons and millennials reminiscing about the show or the movie. this is my niche. it's pretty much the same for every fanartist you'll see on social media.

so again, finding your niche is key if you want to grow an audience.

also participate in the community! i never actually do this, i'm a hermit lol, but i've seen it works great for others. do art challenges, memes or trends (if it's fun to you, because again, being genuine is important.) socialize with other artists, join discord servers, make friends. engage with your own audience. be fun to interact with! make funny stuff! but also don't force it, trust me, forcing humor just repels people. this isn't even artist advice anymore, it's a charisma lesson. and i hate that this is necessary but you'll probably notice that artists with large followings usually also have "personality." and when i say "personality" i mean this is literally what google defines me as. NOT ARTIST??? HELLO??? 😭

this kinda sucks (if you're an introvert like me) but it's the reality for a lot of artists on social media these days. you have to also be an influencer, and honestly, who the fuck even knows how to do that? the most random shit gets popular and you have very little control over the algorithm. even more so these days.

this is why i'm not sure if i can be of any help. being an artist on social media right now is hell. i genuinely have no clue how a small artist would even make it through all the slop we're being inundated with every day. it just didn't used to be like this. :(

but i hope me sharing my experience can offer a little insight into how to cultivate an audience!?1????! despite feeling like i'm clueless about this stuff. i feel like i should know more about this. but that's all i got lol

[kyber-shack]

I haven't seen GF in years but was abruptly reminded a while ago and found your blog and your Pinecest+Stancest posts while looking at the Pinecest tag so I gotta share this plot that's now trapped in my brain. If I got the details about canon wrong, blame the passage of time, not me lol.

Ok I'm sure I'm not the only one who came up with that but: Mutually Unrequited/Pining Stans that both never acted on their feelings and spent the entire separation depressed about it and blaming the way they were hiding their feelings partially for how things went down. Enter Pinecest, only just clocking that this is Not Normal Sibling Feelings.

Stan encourages it when he first realizes it because he never got to even try, but maybe Mabel and Dipper can be happy. So he bullies any boys Mabel brings home, shuts down Dipper's flirt attempts with Wendy & Pacifica - Dipper catches on to his feelings first and wants to prove to himself that he's NORMAL OKAY??? he is, in fact, super not normal, but he'll scream that he is at the top of his lungs - and then Ford returns.

Ford also immediately catches on to Dipper's crush. Because he gets Dipper, and of course, he'd love his twin. He can't see Mabel's feelings as easily because he's insta-transferencing her and Stanley and the idea of her liking Dipper back is unfathomable (read: heartbreaking) because then it means perhaps Stanley could've loved him too.

But he cares about Dipper, so Ford thinks the best he can do is maybe help cut off those feelings at the knees before there's no going back for him, at least Dipper might not totally lose Mabel the way he and Stan thought they had lost each other, might eventually lead a normal non-recluse full of regrets life unlike them. So Ford offers to let Dipper stay without letting on his real reason to do so, and Mabel FLIPS OUT.

The thoughts have been building in the back of her head for a while, and she's suddenly confronted with what she never thought possible. Losing Dipper. And it hurts so so much and then Weirdmageddon comes and things go completely off the rails and now she knows she loves him but he's her brother, the world is ending and maybe he doesn't actually like her at all.

It ends with Dipper admitting to Mabel why he was even contemplating separation and Ford is trying to stop him while Stan has been working for this for months, damnit, and Ford's attempts at shutting the confession down just kill him. Dipper says it anyway, and Mabel thinks she's dreaming, but yeah, dummy, I love you too. How could you even think otherwise?

And seeing their dramatic first kiss totally guts Ford. He's happy for them, clearly, but he wants this oh so much and he can't have it. Stanley is shocked at how much Ford's affected by this development and things just blow up from there, and before either of them know it they're kissing.

Meanwhile Mabel and Dipper finally remember where they are and who they're with and fuck this is going to be difficult to explain - wait wtf GRUNKLES WHAT ARE YOU DOING. Well nothing they weren't right before that.

The rest of summer is an insanely awkward transition period where both couples are trying to work out how to deal with this new dynamic and what it means for their lives, especially for when Dipper and Mabel go back home. But everyone is insanely happy and when Dipper and Mabel come back to GF it's together, to a married couple of Grunkles (in everything except the eyes of the law).

And perhaps someday a - but lbr it'll be two - Pinecest Baby crawls around the Mystery Shack to everyone's delight...

ANON YOU'RE SO CRACKED AAAAAAAAH

such a cute premise of them finding out about each other's budding relationships despite the warnings from Ford and adamant attitude from Stan. SO good. flavor.

also implying that ford and stan were like watching/listening from around the corner or something is peak. honestly? this ask means so much to me.

[4klovver]

dancing in a jazz bar.

musicteacher!reader asks scienceteacher!matt to go out after work.

a/n: shes long again sorry!! I loved writing this even tho ive never written angst before, theres not much of it but its there!! I feel like I rambled so lmk in the comments Have fun reading hop you enjoy! This is PART 1 so yea! Contains; drinking, kissing, dancing, angst, crying!

wc; 2,270

After weeks of endless coffee runs, hanging out during free periods, sitting with each other in meetings, you finally had a great idea. 

“Let’s go out tonight!” you beam as you sit down. This idea came to you a couple of days ago. Matt was always so clean, no, professional…? You desperately wanted to see a new side of him, and this was just the answer. Matt looks at you weary; you know he’s not the “going out” type, but it’s worth a try. 

“Please, please, it would be so fun. I know his cute little bar with cute tables and a live jazz band.” You pause to look at him, and he’s just staring back at you thinking. “Matt, a live jazz band” You say, looking through your eyelashes at him. 

“Okay, fine. But I would still be in my work clothes.” He points down to his light blue button-down that’s rolled up to his elbows, and his dark work pants. 

“Matt, we’re going to a jazz bar; this is fine. I have to see if I have something else; this isn’t really ‘bar’.” You gesture to your frumpy sweater and work jeans. “I usually have concert stuff in my office…” the sentence trails off as you think about what you have. 

“I think what you’re wearing looks great; I don’t see a problem with this.” He says this so matter-of-factly like it’s  a fact in one of his biology textbooks. It makes you blush, and you don’t know how to hide it, so you just turn away. 

“Thanks, Matt, but I think I’m gonna change; meet me outside of my room after school, okay?” You pack up your stuff as you say this, and Matt gives you a small nod. You were excited; a night of drinking in a dimly lit jazz bar, maybe some dancing, with a cute guy. What else could a girl really ask for!

°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･ 

You did, in fact, change. It was a black halter dress with light blue embroidered flowers on it. It was casual enough to look like a coincidence. Even though you did bring this dress to school 2 weeks ago just in case this very plan worked out. 

“You did change; you look…” He trails off, not being able to find the words as you gather your purse and touch up your lip gloss. 

You turn to him smiling; he also changed. He’s now wearing a white button-down shirt with a black tie. It’s not a huge change, but he looks…different; maybe it’s the sun setting, but everything about this is different. “Wow, thank you, Matt. I see you also changed.” You look into his eyes and you can’t help but blush. You turn away, walking towards the door. 

“This is just my parent-teacher conference shirt. I keep it in my room…” He looks down, smoothing his shirt down, fixing his tie, and clearing his throat. 

“This place isn’t that far. It’s only a couple of blocks.” You two walk together, shoulder to shoulder, fingers brushing together slightly as you walk, but no one moves. 

°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･ 

You walk into the bar, taking your jackets off, brushing off the cold of Boston. The place was already buzzing with people talking and dancing. The band was already there. The minute you walk in, you immediately get a burst of confidence, becoming your usual energetic self. 

“Okay, common, let’s sit!” You are beaming with energy. You’ve been in the place for all of 5 minutes, and it’s already one of the funnest nights. You grab his wrist, leading him to a booth near the back. Smooth jazz is spilling into all the cracks of the bar. 

“This place is so…you.” Matt says, looking around at the place. The dim lighting, the thrifted and collected decor. 

You grin at his comment. “Yeah, I used to be a regular here a lot during uni. Actually, one of my old scores from there is hanging somewhere here.” You gesture to the many piled-on decorations all around the bar. 

“Good evening, guys! I’m Jillian. I’ll be your waitress. Can I get ya’ started on anything?” She comes over, notepad in hand, smiling at the two of you. 

“Hi, I’ll just take a vodka cran’ on the rocks.” You smile at her again while she writes down your order. “And for you, sir?” 

“Uhh, I’ll just take a whisky, neat.” He looks at you at the end of his order, like he was getting approval from you. “Okay, I’ll get those right away!” Your waitress leaves with a smile, and you look at Matt, resting your cheek in your hand. 

“What?” he says, turning his head to look at you. 

“What? Oh, nothing. Just that you like…whisky.” You say the drink name like it’s foreign to you.

“Well, even your drinks are grossly sweet.” He looks like he automatically relaxes when you speak. 

“Grossly sweet, pfft, even your drinks are bitter.” You lean into the small table, making the gap smaller between the two of you. He scoffs and does the same. The two of you looking at each other, not a hint of awkwardness in the air. 

“Okay, I got a vodka cran and a whiskey neat.” The waitress places the drinks down on the table. Your rings clicking against the cup of vodka tickling your tongue while sipping your drink. 

He leans back in his part of the booth while sipping his drink. All you can do is stare at him while sipping your drink and crossing your legs, taking in the scene. 

You don’t know if it’s the alcohol or your confidence, but you lean back into the table, putting your drink down. “Hey Matt,” you say whispering. “What?” He grins, leaning into your foreheads almost touching. “We should go dance.” You look at the dance floor, the band playing ‘Come Live With Me’ by Marvin Gaye. “I’m not really a dancer—” before he could finish, you’re dragging him to the dance floor. “Shut up, just dance!” 

For a moment, you two are just standing hand in hand, swaying side to side to side, looking into each other’s eyes, but then Matt pulls you in closer, closing the gap between you and pressing your bodies together. The dance floor was packed with couples, but it couldn’t matter at all; it’s like you were the only ones there. Matt leads you to sway at the beat of the music, your hand making its way to the back of his neck. 

“I’ve never seen this side of you before, Matt…I like it,” you whisper into his ear, leaning into him more. 

“You bring out some side in me, y/n. I can’t explain it.” He pulls away, looking at you like there are words left unsaid. 

The rest of the night was filled with dancing and drinks flowing. Every time you would be dancing, Matt would just give you this look. It makes your face heat up and your stomach hurt. 

°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･ 

You walk out of the bar. The moon is already out, the cold air making your face sting. 

You turn toward Matt, sucking on your teeth, smiling. “Matt, I had a really fun time tonight. I haven’t had one like this in a while.” You step closer to him, grabbing his hand. “I’ve never experienced something like this. You are just so… amazing.” 

“Oh, you and your compliments,Matt. Well, I guess I should be going home now.” The last sentence is slow, hinting at something more. 

“Y/n, I can’t let you walk home alone this late. Please let me walk you.” He follows after you, walking by your side. “Well, if you insist.” You don’t try to hide your happiness at the fact that you get to spend more time with him. All he does is huff out a laugh at your comment as you walk down the busy street. 

“I can’t believe my feet don’t hurt. I danced so much…” You two start making small talk again while walking, getting into a rhythm. 

°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･ 

The normally long walk felt ridiculously short once you got to your door. All you want to do is take matters into your own apartment and talk all night and spend your morning with him. He makes you feel some weird type of way you’ve never felt before, like you could say something crazy, but at the end of the day, he will still be there. You don’t know how to ever thank him for becoming someone so constant in your life. 

Before you get your keys out, you turn to Matt, looking at him. You step towards him, and he doesn’t the same. Only inches between your faces. You can hear the first song you danced to in the back of your head. You think, ‘This is it. I have to do it.’  

You lean into him, hesitant for a moment but evidently closing the gap between the two of your lips, touching. His unsure hands come up to your waist as yours reach his face; he leans into the kiss, his tongue finding its way into your mouth. The two of you get into a rhythm. 

When you pull away to catch your breath, chest moving up and down, you look up at him with a smile. You can’t read his face; the dim light coming from the moon casting a shadow on his face. You lean in for another kiss, but he abruptly stops, making you confused. 

“I’m sorry, Y/n. I can’t, not like this. I-“ He fidgets with his hands nervously. His words barely register in your brain; all you know is that you need to get out of there. 

“Oh, I see. Goodnight, Matt.” You swiftly open your door, tears forming in your eyes. Embarrassment makes your chest hurt. You close the door in his face, not caring to hear another word. You feel gross; you dressed up all nice, put yourself out there just to get rejected. 

Matt stayed outside of your apartment for 5 minutes, listening to you move around your apartment. Hearing you cry made him feel horrible, but he’s never done this before. He’s scared, so the best thing for him to do in his mind is give you space. As much as you need, and if you never talk to him again. He’ll understand. 

°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･  

You get in the shower, washing off the sweat and makeup. Cold water hitting your skin sobering you up. You grab some ice cream and a spoon and sit in your bed, watching trashy reality TV shows. You look around your room at the decorations, the music, your clothing, and all you can think about is the fact that Matt wouldn’t enjoy this. Maybe you thought he enjoyed your loud clothes and crass personality, but he’s the exact opposite of you, and you need to accept that. 

a/n: ahhhh hope you guys enjoyed hopefully I didn't leave you too sad. Please leave some love on the post <3 have a wonderful day bye byebye

more scienceteacher!matt x musicteacher!reader here

[tinybro]

jasico server was chatting about the cupid scene and jason getting nico's memories blasted straight into his brain and how jason being shot with one of cupid's arrows while with nico and this was just never brought up in canon again and now i'm thinking like...what if that's just how cupid's arrows work? not by magically manifesting love for someone out of nothing, but by giving someone the perspective that'd make them fall in love naturally? jason gets a front row seat to nico's memories and instantly understands him intimately and can trust him completely without any doubt or suspicion

so what if jason, after slowly realizing he's totally in love with nico, just thought back to the arrow incident and it made him second-guess everything? because maybe he's only feeling this way because cupid hit him with an arrow with only nico was around and it's no different than any other god messing with his love life

[some-stars]

i have absolutely NO patience for anyone being shitty or judgmental or othering about addicts, not just because of my ethical principles and baseline compassion for other human beings, but because i have personal experience with how inseparable substance abuse is from mental illness and other kinds of inescapable suffering. i got high on cannabis and benzos all day long, 6 days a week for two years because i had severe treatment-resistant depression (aka i had tried EVERY legal treatment available without improvement). when i found a medication that made it go away almost entirely, i dropped down to maybe 3 times a month purely for fun and after my day's responsibilities are done, within days of starting to feel better. and now i feel like shit again and i've been getting high several times a week as literal self-medication. because, you know, i'm in horrible pain and it would be cruel and inhuman for someone to tell me i had to ignore the one tool i had access to that would reduce my suffering, just so i wouldn't be an ~addict~, which is of course the worse most disgusting worthless thing a person can be.

i know that there are many addictions that are more physically damaging and that people continue to crave physiologically even when they start recovering from the mental or physical pain that drove them to drugs in the first place. i am very, very fortunate that due to my life circumstances i have no access to meth or heroin or more dangerous stuff like that. but it is sure as hell a lot less difficult to resist even those cravings when the pain that they were used to alleviate is drastically reduced!!!

anyway this is all just me restating the rat town study that proved almost all drug addiction is caused by capitalism and/or trauma, and weakening capitalism and building rewarding caring societies eliminates substance abuse almost entirely. why the fuck would you scream at and shame people experiencing unspeakably terrible pain rather than the forces and people who caused/failed to treat that pain?

[uhbasicallyjustmilex]

four walls playlist

[palms-upturned]

Sorry for being late today coming online, a lot has happened and I am trying to think about the best way to organize this blog going forward. For now though I will try to get the list updated quickly and read through my messages/@'s

[shoutyourporpoise]

i do find it kinda funny like I haven't even started T in any capacity but merely getting off birth control after 8 years of continuous use and allowing my native testosterone levels to reassert themselves has resulted in like 15 very dark wiry chin hairs and a more defined fluffy mustache/goatee than I remember having before

[pilonciillo]

i genuinely don’t know how i’m supposed to act at my age

[rosestthorns]

Groin cramps are the worst. Feels like my body is like "Yeah yeah upper abdominal lower abdominal cramps, whatever. We really gotta focus on this area tho"

Like

Holy fuck

Thank the gods for heating pads

[orcelito]

Starting the birth control thing today and it may or may not change my entire demeanor (on account of balancing out my shit hormones bc I apparently have PCOS lol) so if I am a different person after this now you know why 👍

[whentherewerebicycles]

trying to resist the thing where you feel bad about X and then your brain is like hey why don’t you try feeling bad about Y and Z too while you’re down there in the pit

[seventh-district]

.

[luminiera-merge]

i think my tolerance for moe (ie the anime stuff) is in freefall rn