#if i ever get myself to actually make a gifset i really want to do it about the three time kate saved ben’s life

[pharawee]

I usually don't do yearly recaps because my memory sucks December is one of the busiest months for me and I'm lucky if I get to gif at all but this year I thought I'd take a look at all of the gifsets I did in 2024 and see which shows, pairings and moments I liked the most.

✨FAV BLS OF 2024

1000 Years Old: 2024 was supposed to be the year of vampire BL (going by all the announcements and pilot trailers) but in the end only this one aired (edit: wait, I forgot about OMG! Vampire to protect myself 🥴) - and it was neither spicy nor particularly spooky. Instead, it was all heart and quirkiness and when it was over I cried for a week because of the bittersweet ending.

Playboyy: This show is truly a masterpiece, with layers of subtext and social commentary. Also, it's fun and camp and sexy and ridiculous. I'm so glad it's going to get a second season.

Caged Again: How come that a little show about a penguin and a panther is legit one of the best - if not THE BEST - Thai BL of the year?

Knock Knock, Boys: I came for Best and Seng and Pak but then Almond and Latte bewitched me body and soul. Kongthup now owns me.

Every You, Every Me: I don't know what I was expecting (well, okay, a whole lot of Mick & Top - which is exactly what I got) but it surely wasn't crying my eyes out for two episodes right in the middle of the show.

Spare Me Your Mercy: Long awaited and currently still airing - I actually love this show a lot because it reminds me of all the detective dramas (esp Endeavour and Grantchester) I used to binge. Morse but make it queer is actually all I ever wanted.

7 Days Before Valentine: This show's depth and artistry and stageplay-like character absolutely blew me away.

I Saw You in My Dream: WeTV absolutely blew it out of the water this year with their many diverse productions, and this unassuming and charming little show with a supernatural twist (love me one of those!) was no exception.

Monster Next Door: Big Thanakorn in his first main role with his first acting partner in an extremely fun and all around lovely Kongthup/WeTV production. And I just love how nuanced it was when they could have just stuck with the whole introvert/extrovert cliché.

✨FAV PAIRINGS OF 2024

Hope x Save (Jack & Joker): These two completely took me by surprise, especially because I had such an intense reaction to Pee Phiravich's character in La Pluie. I had originally set my eyes on PromMark and while I definitely ate up their crumbs, HopeSave just checked all of my boxes: morally grey antagonists (at least for a while there), doomed by the narrative (until they actually got their happy ending, yay!) and ride and die for each other.

Pete x Kenta (Pit Babe): I'll be a PeteKenta truther until the day I die (see all of the checkboxes above), and if Change2561 didn't subscribe to the branded pair model, they'd agree with me. As things are I'm actually kind of meh about Pit Babe 2. I bet KentaKim won't have knives at each other's throats!! (PeteWay is delicious though.)

Prom x Nont (Playboyy): Uhhh, that's a lot of the same checked boxes. So maybe I have a type. Thanks 2024 for making me realise. Also, I hope these two make each other worse in season 2 (before they get their HEA because ultimately I'm vanilla like that).

Latte x Almond (Knock Knock, Boys!): Oh God, these two. I was prepared to be ride or die for Thanwa and Peak but then LatteAlmond barged in with a pink sex toy and it was over for me. They just have so much heart and so much sincerity between them (and while their dynamics are different in Caged Again I'm really enjoying Nokia and Jaonine there too for pretty much the same reason + their incredible comedic timing).

X x Namping (Every Me, Every You): It's probably a good thing we got these two for two episodes only because we might not have survived a whole 8 or 10 or even 12 episodes of them. Plus, the anthology-like character of the series made a sad ending possible in the first place, and I really appreciate it - even if it almost destroyed me.

✨FAV MOMENTS OF 2024

Twins: For a moment there we had FrameRyan and it was beautiful.

The Sign: Chalothorn stole the whole show for me and then when he inexplicably vanished I kind of stopped watching. Whoops.

Deep Night: I have seen the throuple light thanks to SeijiPanKen.

The Rebound: Frank Thanatsaran's acting (but also that scene...) overshadowing pretty much everything else (and now he's with Star Hunter which... you know... ehnnnn 🥲)

To Be Continued: Fluke Pongsapat and Junior Khajbhunditt starring in a way underrated 8-episode netflix show with one of the most beautiful love scenes ever, and I've been wanting more of them ever since.

Two Worlds: Kongthup giveth and Kongthup taketh away (aka for one and a half episodes I had Phupha and Khram and now I will never know peace).

Century of Love: Offroad Kantapon as a sultry fox spirit.

Sunset x Vibes: When Star Hunter remembered Fong and JJ exist and then they stole the whole entire show (there really wasn't much to steal though...).

The Sign: Whatever was going on between Heng Asavarid and Nat Sakdatorn in this scene BUT I NEED MORE (pls Idolfactory I'm begging you release Heng from his solo actor prison).

Two Worlds: Kongthup choosing violence by giving Pak and Mon one of the spiciest love scenes of the year.

The Rebound: THESE TWO (boxes checked!! But also I need more Nammon in my life).

Kidnap: GMMTV's strategic placement of Papang in a suit.

The Hidden Moon: Whenever that tiny low-budget show got surprisingly deep and artsy (and also spicy).

My Stand-In: When I watched a whole show for one (1) character that wasn't really a character at all. Oh, the tragedy of it all (and yes, I'm still scared of Ming).

Pit Babe: When I made several posts about the Pit Babe novel but then I actually ended up loving the villains more than the main characters. I'm watching Pit Babe 2 for them and them only. Winner of my heart here I come!

Aaand that's it, my first ever yearly (Thai) BL recap - which actually ended up way longer than planned (guess my memory isn't as bad as I thought. Then again, I had my gifs to fall back on).

2024 was an amazingly diverse year for Thai QL (along with the wonderful news of marriage equality in Thailand finally becoming a reality) and looking back I now realise (not that I was ever seriously worried) that gmmtv's monopoly is actually way more of a blessing than a curse because not only did it cause WeTV to heavily invest in their own productions, it also leaves more than enough room for innovation and creativity via smaller and indie companies (along with the truly big players finally paying more attention - see: Spare Me Your Mercy). Innovation which in turn enriches gmmtv's portfolio as well (judging by their line-up for 2025 the years to come). In short: the Thai BL ecosystem is truly thriving.

And with that, may 2025 be even queerer than 2024 with tons of marriage proposals and actual marriages (PorschArm here we go!), and a favourite little (or in gmmtv's case not so little lmao) BL niche for everyone.

I hope you had as much fun with BL in 2024 as I had. I really appreciate everyone's commentary posts and meta and fanart and gifsets and tag games and reaction posts, even if I didn't spend as much time on my dashboard this year as I wanted to. I'm so glad tumblr BL fandom exists. ILU guys. Only the bestest and kindest things for you in 2025!🌈✨

[separatedleoau]

Hi I was jus wondering how do you decide which panel you animate.

Also why did you decided to animate this comic? For practice? Simply because you want it? For revenge?

Also do you have any tipp for starter animaters how to start animating what kind of animations should they start with.

Love the comic can't wait for more. Please be healthy (it's good for your health)

Sending lot of love with hugs (if you like hugs)

by vibe, mostly

This is animated kind of for practice, kind of just because I think is fun and intresting to mix comic and animation, and yeah I guess a bit of revange, if thats the right word on this case cause there was another comic I wanted to do this with and chickened out of it (maybe the correct for of it would be avenge?🤔)

Now let me go into story mode:

When I was starting this au I was just gonna do One's concept design and the one scene that got stuck in my head: him dropping down for his introduction, and that was it

So I thought "I could make this an animatic" and I started storyboarding it on my sketchbook and then went "wait this is too much work, I don't wanna do it.... I'm gonna make it a comic" but there was That Shot that I had in mind and so clearly and I wanted to see it in motion so bad

Animation in comics is something that has gotten stuck in my head for close to a decade, long ago (in a galaxy far far away) I saw these zelda comics by Zac Gorman

I think it was the first time I saw a comic animated, and I thought it was the coolest thing ever. Then I saw a gifset of the How to Train Your Dragon "Downed Dragon" scene with Hiccup walking on the forest and it was composed as a comic, but they were gifs of the movie, I think that's what settled it in my mind that I would want to tell a story that way at some point

But I didnt know how to animate or make comics

So I started practicing, one step at the time, I decided to start with making comics (I started drawing my httyd fic since it basically was already scripted, but I realized how complicated that was and gave up lmao)

I've used the putting some animation to comics before, in small forms and not that often, really, but I was practicing for that moment when I had a Big Story for me to tell in that medium. Thing I have now and I'm working on!

So I took on httyd comics again and used another au I had to practice long form comics and animation on comics with it. I realized at some point that I was biting more than I could chew and decided to tone it down and keep it to just comic, I would get the oportunity to practice animation-comic making at some other point

And so this au came in taking down my door

I used what I had storyboarded as thumbnails for the comic and decided to make some small bits with simple animation and That Shot fully animated frame by frame (the original idea I could never make it look good so I settled for something simpler, I still want to try and re-do that animation, not to change the comic, but just as a bonus mostly for myself)

So yeah

It's been for pratice when I finally get to do my original story (that I'm working on rn)

Just cause I want to cause it looks cools and I've been mening to do something like this for so long

And I'm avenging that first httyd comic I tried to do and kinda the current httyd comic cause I took out the animation of that one

As for tips for biginer animators?

I should say learn the animation principles since those are your bases, everyone hates doing the bouncing ball cause is boring but is actually a good start.

but honeslty? chose a guy and go nuts with it <- thats my tip of how to improve on anything art related, making fanart of httyd has gotten me this far

[airenyah]

joongdunk vampire bl when??

maybe you've already seen my post "reasons why i need a sexy joongdunk bl". and if you have, then maybe you remember the bonus vampire section at the end

well, i've decided to start collecting vampire mentions here in this own separate post. here i will collect instances where either joong or dunk actually utters the word "vampire" but i will also include things somewhat adjacent to vampires (looking at you, lol fanfast 2023 dum dum neck biting action 👀)

i'll keep updating this post with every future vampire mention that i happen to come across. if you happen to find a vampire mention that is not yet in this post but you think it should be on the list, then do feel free to send me a link to it and i might just add it!! some of them, esp the vampire-adjacent things will be added based on vibes (my vibes, that is. it's my post so i get to put in it whatever the fuck i want)

like this one for example:

[hidden agenda ep12 pt4 (3:25); (24.09.2023)]

like yeah i know this one doesn't really count bc those are just some lines in a series from one fictional character to another fictional character that just happens to be played by dunk but like!! is it not true!! being a vampire (on tv) is dunk's dream job, is it not!!!

1. they WANNA play vampires

no but seriously tho, dunk wants to play a vampire, he explicitly said so:

[dunk x tops; (30.09.2023)]

Which role do you want to try playing the most? Up until now I've only gotten roles that speak a lot. Sometimes the lines are 3-4 pages long. If I get the opportunity, I want to try switching to a role that speaks little, that is calm and serious and where the emphasis is on using eyes and gestures to convey emotions. A fantasy or sci-fi role like a vampire might be worth a try.

[dunk for elle men; (13.11.2024)]

and so did joong, for that matter:

[l'officiel hommes thailand: "the act of being myself" | translation; (08.12.23)]

[joong's 23rd birthday event; (17.03.2024)] (extended gifset here)

2. dum dum

now, the dum dum performance deserves it's own little section lbr. bc seriously wtf was all that:

[LOL fanfest D1; (24.06.2023) | LOL fanfest D2; (25.06.2023)]

[arm share ep131; (02.08.2023)]

oh and make no mistake, it's not me who's making the dum dum performance about vampires, no, dunk is:

[let's talk bl s4 ep07; (16.08.2023)]

no seriously, let 👏 them 👏 play 👏 vampires!! they've already got experience in biting each other's necks!!!!

3. collection

ok from here on out i think i'll stop with the babbling and just have a collection of gifs with random vampire mentions that i'll just continue to add to this post whenever i come across more bc why the fuck not

[joong's tweet; (30.06.2023)]

[instagram live; (09.10.2023)]

[hidden hangout ep2; (14.11.2023)]

[original twitter thread | translation 1 | translation 2; (18.12.2023)]

context: joong asked what kind of plots fans would like to see him and dunk play

Translation/Summary:

Fan🗣️: In their past lives, Joong and Dunk were enemies who hated each other deeply. One day, a situation arose where one of them had to kill the other. However, the one who was killed (Joong) didn’t die permanently—it was more like his soul was temporarily sealed. He's been there ever since, even up to the present time. Joong☀️: Oh~ Is he still resentful? Fan🗣️: Yes, he is. He’s been sealed in the same spot for a very long time. Joong☀️: So, it’s like the vibe of an old Thai drama, right? starts singing an old Thai series opening theme Fan🗣️: Right, that kind of vibe. But this one is a fantasy genre. His soul is sealed, and we can say he became a vampire. He’s still alive but trapped—he can’t go anywhere, so he keeps living until he can earn a wealthy life. Joong☀️: How does a vampire live his life in Thailand? Fan🗣️: He has to stay in the same place. He can’t leave the restricted zone, and he can’t be exposed to sunlight. Joong☀️: If he lives in Thailand, where would he stay? Thonglor? (a road in Bangkok known for nightlife) Fan🗣️: More like Sukhumvit. (known for luxury malls) Joong☀️: Sukhumvit Vampire? Fan🗣️: Yes~ Joong☀️: Alright, we’ve got the name of the story, everyone. Sukhumvit Vampire 😆 Fan🗣️: So, one day in the present, Dunk comes into the zone controlled by Joong, the same place where Joong’s soul has been sealed. Joong☀️: You mean Sukhumvit? Fan🗣️: Yes. And when Joong sees Dunk, he thinks, "Isn’t this the person who killed me?" Joong☀️: Oh~ So Dunk has been reborn, and Joong’s like, "The person who killed me gets to be reborn, but I’m stuck here." Fan🗣️: Exactly! It’s like, "I’ve been stuck here for so long, while the country has advanced so much, and I’m still trapped." Joong☀️: So I’m the vampire, right? Fan🗣️: Yes, and Dunk killed you. But you can switch roles if you want, I’m not strict about it. I just want this kind of plot. Joong☀️: So, the story is that when they meet, Joong wants to kill Dunk for revenge. But then suddenly, he realizes, after Dunk's rebirth, that Dunk is actually pretty handsome! HAHAHAHA 🤣🤣 Fan🗣️: He believes that killing the person who killed him will break the curse and free him from the place where he’s sealed. Joong☀️: Will monks come at the end and tell us not to seek revenge anymore? 😆 Fan🗣️: No, at the end, they just stab each other to death. Joong☀️: Huh? Really? Do they actually kill each other, or do they hesitate because they’ve fallen in love? Fan🗣️: Actually, I was planning for them to kill each other, but then they realize there was a reason why they have to kill each other in the first place (since their past life). So, the reason is… Joong☀️: Fighting over bubble tea. Fan🗣️: Okay, Joong. Delicious 😂

[joong twitter space (back-up link); (22.09.2024) | translation 1 | translation 2]

[joong's tweet; (20.10.2024) | translation pt1 | translation pt2]

[joong's broadcast channel on instagram; (20.10.2024)]

[abigaillazaar]

CREATOR TAG GAME

yayyyy happy new year my loves!!

thank you for tagging me char @cressidascowper pick your 5 favorite gif sets of 2024 that got less than 1k notes and then pick 10 gifsets of someone else's that got less than 1k notes.

mine:

this johanna and finnick set for thg week! i rarely ever try greens so this was a great exercise. plus shameless letterboxd review insert i had the time of my life making it (even though i think it's on the simpler side)

rhaenicent + august! my beloveds <3 i actually was so relieved finishing this—mainly bc i'd been working on it since last year but couldn't be satisfied with the coloring + typography (real ones remember it was in my new year's clean up last year). i'm so glad i waited for s2 to air though because it really made the lyrics more cohesive . freaks. (also i remembered seeing the lyric "change" on swiftietok and hated it so. bad . like so bad. but was like wait but so fitting for rhaenicent so. i caved! #noregrets)

rhaenicent + sad beautiful tragic. this was the first edit i made for that week in preparation and that last gif was what led to my idea for day one (paternity test). rhaenyra's the father bitch! also i'm proud of myself for making the first gif bc that's emily in lost girls ! and now she riding syrax instead of flying to neverland. love me brain <3

rhaenicent + fics ! fic writers the backbone of our society i love them sooooooo much i'll probably end up doing another one! i know some of the authors saw the set but i hope all of them know how hard i'm clutching their fics to my chest

this is truly the rhaenicent show (i have an addiction). anyway last one is this super simple rhaenicent edit! it's slightly au but placing alicent watching rhaenyra play with her children i'm sick to my stomach and i literally made it. thank you aish (@alicenthighstower) for dealing with me in those trying times

others:

@maxanor's gorgeous gorgeous sejanus -> katniss edit. i remember falling to my knees when i saw that omg. the black and white to bright saturated orange is insane, my teeth ache just looking at it. beautiful work hannah!

one of the most deplorable (endearing) edits i've seen this year is this jackieshauna set by miss becca it girl @nataliescatorccio herself. first of all anyone who knows me knows red + black + white is my favorite color combo so this was an immediate hit. this edit......took my breath away (also bc i was dry heaving from the #pain!)

this padme and sabe edit by char @cressidascowper........lorddddd don't even get me started i wanted to throw up! i love muted colors so much (i rarely ever attempt bc idk. it never looks right when i try) but char......your coloring on this i'm gonna scream! and the quote! i'm screaming. absolutely insane chef's kiss

this anakin skywalker set that erika @padme-amidala (come home the kids (me) miss you <33) made....this has been one of my favorite poems since like...high school. like at some point i had it as my lockscreen. i love this mf poem. and so when i saw anakin skywalker ??? to this poem ????? the scream i scrumpt. need her to come back and bless my eyes again...

itty bitty baby aish made this swanqueen edit, and it almost influenced me to rewatch ouat. the coloring is exquisite and the quote ....and the shots you chose.......lordddddd it sent me into a downward spiral i opened up swanqueen's page on ao3 just to feel something again

anyway thanks for tuning in! tagging everyone mentioned (unless they already did this, then. whatever) love you all and can't wait to see what you guys have in store for 2025 (break my heart, i'll still love you <3)

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!

[ohkate]

Thank you @jessij1997 for this tag. I love this topic!

How long have you been writing fics?

One year. I did write a fic about 20 years ago but nothing since then.

What fic are you reading right now or what was the last one you read?

I've been in a more romantic mood recently and I reread Flower-U-Up by Miss_SnowWhitePink for a pick me up.

I also reread Cooperative Gameplay because I rec'd it to @badassfetish.

What fic are you most proud of?

I'm the most proud of the fic I wrote for this year's Shameless Big Bang. I can't wait to show it to you all!

Second to that, I actually really like my story Five Senses. It was the first fic where I did exactly what I wanted to do with the concept without feeling like I wasn't a good enough writer to write it properly.

What is the last fic you wrote?

Other than my Galladrabbles and the silly AI Generated story I posted, the last real fic I wrote was This, which was a gift to @badassfetish.

Your 3 favourite fanfic tropes:

I would say these are specific to THIS fandom:

Alpha/Omega: "Oh no my suppressants aren't working for some mysterious reason. If only my down low soul mate was here to fuck me for days. Oh wait...he is!"

Pretend relationship leads to real relationship

Fridging: Yes I know this is horrible and I understand why. But I love when one love interest is hurt and the other one goes on a rampage to avenge them or rescues them, etc. Ian telling Lip that if he ever hits Mickey again he'll kill him is hot for a reason.

What is your favourite thing about writing fics?

I love that it helps me flex the creative muscles that sometimes get stagnant from just doing gifsets. People tend to like basic gifsets but the more arty stuff, the stuff you have to think about and actually put thought and effort into, the text you come up with to make it feel like something more...it can sometimes be less appreciated. Not because it's not good but just because not everyone likes YOUR style. I tend to be uber-romantic and with Ian and Mickey that ends up being more AU, lol.

So sometimes I find myself doing the same scenes, the same moments...and trying to make something new out of a limited amount of scenes can be tiring. But with fic, I can create something and mold it right to how I want it. I don't have to be limited to the footage of them we have.

tagging the most recent writers on my dash: @gallawitchxx

@callivich @suzy-queued @takeyourpillsbitchh @lingy910y @badassfetish @starry-nights-17 @sweetbee78 @spicycinnabun

[bluedalahorse]

I really appreciated the post about YR fandom and ableism. Well, I suppose a better thing to say would be, I found it very cathartic.

Having slept on it, I’m now feeling a little bit… something? Like I’m waiting for the frustration to set in. There have been wonderful posts like this in YR fandom before, in lots of fandoms, that talk about ableism (or sexism, or racism, or classism, or whatever else.) And many people reblog these posts, and they certainly have positive intentions when they do so. I think reblogging these posts and sharing these ideas is a good thing!

I guess what always happens to me afterward is I find myself wondering what it would actually involve to shift the fandom dynamic outside the sphere of meta/analysis. Like do these kinds of posts (about various isms) expand upon the way we write fic, the praise we lavish on others when recommending their work, the moments we make gifsets of or draw in our fanart, the characters we choose to focus on for theme weeks/months?

I don’t want anyone to have to create fanworks about things they don’t want to create fanworks about—it’s fandom so we should all have our little passions, we’re all here for fun—but one of the things about using these critical lenses to examine a canon, is these lenses open up more for me to enjoy, and alert me to new ways of telling stories that are richer and more meaningful and ultimately more fun, too. Like, increased awareness of sexism and my own internalized sexism practically doubled the numbers of characters I could enjoy, because I was unlearning biases against women and thus picking up a lot of female character blorbos. And increased awareness of ableism and my own internalized ableism (I’m still learning!) has helped me envision storylines for disabled characters that aren’t just tragedy or inspiration porn or inspirational tragedy.

I guess what I’m saying is… I appreciate each and every one of the notes on a post that defends Sara Eriksson and calls out the sexism and ableism against her.

And at the same time I wonder how that translates to us writing fics about Sara where she has her own needs and desires and character arc, and isn’t just pushed into the background in a pleasant but bland way. Or like, what’s the likelihood that we’ll ever get a Sara theme week, with meaningful participation and exciting new fan works?

That goes for other characters, too, not just Sara—she was my example. I’d just love to see increased understanding of the “controversial” characters (and even less controversial but comparatively underappreciated characters) extend beyond analysis and into other kinds of fanworks.

[oddlittlestories]

So I just saw a Dexter gifset about him “not having a next level” and the reminder of how his empathy was handled vs. empathy & ethics in Woe.Begone slingshotted me into ✨Meta Brain Space✨ come into my Meta Danger Circle ⭕️

Disclaimer that I haven’t watched Dexter in a WHILE and I don’t remember a lot of specifics. Also I get a bit critical of Dexter here, so if it’s your fave ever, you might just skip this meta post and go listen to Woe.Begone instead bc I think you’ll like it.

Spoilers ahead.

I’ve tagged it too so you can go blacklist it if you don’t want Woe.Begone spoilers from s1e1-4.

Okay okay so Woe.Begone handles empathy in such such such a cool way. The main character, Mike Walters, tells everything in retrospect in a detached manner, describing how he was terrified / sobbing / etc. *at the moment*. It’s actually impossible for me to tell whether this character has low empathy or atypical expression of empathy.

Like when the challenge is to kill a pig:

goddamnit! I don’t wanna kill a pig! I mean, I know, I eat meat, specifically pork, and so I’ve just been outsourcing this exact labor for my whole life. I’m a hypocrite if I’m willing to let suffering happen as long as it’s just outside my eyeline, but f-fuck it! I can be a hypocrite. I’m worse shit than that all the time. I’m a liar, I’m a bad friend, I’m a shitty podcaster. Just throw “hypocrite” on the heap, it’ll fit right in.

This isn’t a perfect example but you can see how he has a detached approach to his own flaws that I’m not sure I’ve ever seen in a character.

In episode 2, he talks about himself. How he is with people.

[Mike:] I’m not always the best guy. I remember on my freshman floor in college, a new friend was on the phone with her parents, and she was talking about everyone she had just met. When she got to me she said,

MIKE [electronic voice effect]: “There’s the dude, Mike. He’s pretty cool. He’s not nice, but…”

MIKE [normal voice]: Woof. I’d like to think that I’ve done some self-reflection since then but have I really? I tend to bulldoze over other people and their needs and problems more than I should. And more than I would like, I would add. I don’t always like myself and I definitely don’t like when I figure out that I’ve done this. So, this could just be my reputation finally catching up with me… Or it could be WOE.BEGONE.

This feels so incredibly ND to me, especially paired with the flat tone he uses in the show (it’s not monotone, in fact it’s quite engaging, but it IS flat, you should listen to it if you haven’t)

And the show REFERENCES DEXTER. When Mike cuts off his own arm, he puts up plastic sheeting, because his main real reference for the brutal gory IS Dexter.

He decides to do horrible things for the sake of the game bc he decides he wants to win. He reminds himself that a person’s life is more important than feeling embarrassed.

And he goes on a (gentle) rant about how Dexter is a ridiculous show and the only reason he doesn’t get caught is because the PD in the show is ridiculously incompetent.

But having a show make deliberate parallels between Dexter and the MC by making the MC reference the show (even if not referring to the character). And it’s a show ABOUT a clearly ND person, possibly low empathy, deliberately making both ethical and unethical decisions (by his own framework). HOLY MOLY IT’S GIVING ME THE BRAINROT

Mike unpacks the ethics around half the things he chooses to do. He cares about other people but sometimes verbally logics himself into empathy (in a way that’s often unclear to me—is he speaking that way because he doesn’t know how else to express what he feels? Or because he doesn’t feel it and has to logic himself to the moral decision?)

In some ways you could almost read Woe.Begone as a counter to Dexter. Because Dexter, too, does terrible things with (usually) an ethical framework. He explicitly lacks empathy. He’s handed the moral framework and the narrative pretty much uncritically says “he was always going to be a serial killer. so what was he going to do with that?”

And in Woe.Begone, Mike’s motives are complex. Messy. A little bit of empathy here. Curiosity there. Desire for power in the corner. Fear of consequences looming over him. He wasn’t always going to do Woe.Begone. He makes a deliberate decision. Both for every challenge he completes (as far as I know, I only just finished episode 4). And for the game as a whole. And it’s not about being good, and he claims he’s actually a kind of shitty person. And yet to me he feels like a better person than Dexter so far. Or, at least, less hollow. Filled to the brim with his own internal world.

I’d have to rewatch some Dexter to do a full cross-comparison meta, and I might. But I’m absolutely fascinated by what feels like deliberate narrative comparisons here as Dylan Griggs writes more or less a death game about what I read as a low/atypical empathy character.

[bellamyblake]

do you ever think of Bellarke and be all salty and bitter because you know they're suppose to be together? Always. as for bellamy week, i don't know if i am up to it because if i were, it means putting myself through it again by rewatching cause I need to rewatch before making anything. I had no problems going through it the last 5 gifsets this year. I just cry through the gifmaking process. dont' mind december but maybe january? i need to think about it.

Hey! Thanks so much for sending this ask! I absolutely love your gifs!

And yes, I do think about them and feel Idk mostly sad if that's the right feeling to describe it. I'll be honest, I was and am a big bellarke shipper, I love writing them, have always absolutely enjoyed their scenes but I think I was realistic when it came to them not happening. I guess I just didn't really believe it'd work out because of the other side of the fandom, because of J.ason, so I believe I had accepted it a long time before it actually ended. Does it piss me off? Of course. I think I didn't want to watch them be this big romantic couple say o.licity or anything else we actually saw happen in the time when shows were shows and not 5 episodes things. I guess I just expected them to give me a glimpse of what they could be-them being together, kissing, hugging and holding hands, the show ending. That's what I imagined, I suppose.

I've been thinking about it the past week (cause I'm rewatching older shows where some of the main couples do get together) and I've been thinking that in a way I'm also NOT sorry it didn't happen. I'm not sure Jason would've handled it well and I've loved what I've seen on screen, I know what it means and to me it doesn't necessarily have to be a romantic relationship for it to be something. That's just me and I guess that's why I survived this fandom in a way, because I never expected it and because it was enough for me. I recently read this book 'Tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow' that talks exactly about that type of relationship, the one that transcends romance. That doesn't mean there is no romance but it means also so much more and I think of Bellarke that way, I always have.

I also really didn't think J.ason would've done it properly, so imo it's better this way.

I opt not to focus on the bad stuff. Of course I understand what you mean and how hard it is, for me it's hard too sometimes, I get angry, I tell myself 'couldn't there have been at least one kiss?' but I just opt to choose to love them as they are and create for them and write for them and that just overpowers the bad stuff. I see no point in focusing on the awful things. I know so many of us left because they couldn't handle the ending, I can't handle it either, it's awful but there's this other, bigger part of me that just loves them as them and somehow that's greater and can't be tained. Of course I understand everyone for whom this is hard and just want to forget it though. Life's tough enough that when you meet things like d.eath in shows it just breaks you even more.

As far as Bellamy week, I've decided I'll leave it for january because my december will be really busy with work and it seems so for the rest of the folks.I feel a little bad that I'm gonna skip a year but it has been a really awful year for me mentally and I know I should've done it earlier, I just never actually sat down to do it.

I'd love for you to participate, I really do love and admire your gifs (they're always so clear and well-colored in a way I can never make them!) I will hope to see you participate. In terms of rewatching, I actually do randomly rewatch when I start gifing, like if I choose a particular episode, I end up watching more than half of it if not all. I'm here if I can help your process somehow and make it better for you! <3

[hbmmaster]

The way it's always seemed to me is that the performance of frustration after losing The Game is like when people perform frustration after someone makes a really cheesy pun. The whole groaning / "oh that one is terrible, I can't stand it" / etc thing? Which I do not 100.0% understand, myself, but I'm pretty sure it's a form of like, 'playing along'? I guess no one's ever told me that explicitly, but if it turned out that people actually get unhappy about The Game or about cheesy puns, that would really throw me for a loop...

And under this interpretation the fact that asking about The Game inherently prompts the performative frustration is just an unfortunate coincidence, analogous to if it was somehow impossible to ask "why do people pretend to be mad when they hear a pun?" without accidentally making one in the process. Maybe also analogous to how asking someone "is Goncharov real" sometimes won't result in a useful answer, since doing so always inherently presents the person being asked with the mutually exclusive options of either committing to the bit, or helping someone understand what's going on.

the biggest difference with The Game, which I keep coming back to, is the tendency to direct the performative anger at people who express a disinterest in "playing". this might just be my experience as. the type of person who does not play The Game. but imagine this scenario. someone says "hey. you just lost The Game!". what do I say to this as someone who knows what The Game is but doesn't want to play along.

like, I'm genuinely asking this. I have been in this exact situation several times and I try new responses each time and none of them are correct. there does not seem to be an appropriate response to this that isn't "playing along".

these other examples of performative anger and in-jokes are different. in both examples (the pun and uh, goncharov) the person who "initiates" the bit is, you know, the one doing the bit. someone telling a cheesy pun, someone reblogging a gifset of a fake movie. with The Game, someone saying one of the trigger phrases is expecting the other person to "do the bit". getting angry about it is like, the point.

[razzek]

inspired by your tags on that gifset about blue eyed samurai: please tell me about the best and worst blind representation in media according to you

Had to wait until I was at a keyboard and had the energy for this one haha.

Honestly, most blind rep is bad, to the extent that I avoid anything touting a blind character on instinct. Unless another blind person is recommending it, I prep myself to endure, at best, a lot of tedious stereotyping, and at worst something that will genuinely make me angry. I'm always surprised when I can unclench a bit over a blind character and be able to say just "eh he's alright".

But! There are a few blind characters I do like! While they are not perfect and somewhat fall into the realm of "blind in name only" (where magic or something else makes them function more like a sighted person), Toph from Avatar the Last Airbender and Terezi Pyrope of Homestuck get my nod of approval. While they both have some abilities that make them seem more sighted (Toph's earthbending, Terezi's super smelling/tasting), I find they get at some of the heart of what it's like to be blind. Toph has a viciously sharp sense of humor and leans into peoples' low expectations to tear them apart and the show isn't afraid to crack a few genuinely funny jokes about blindness. Similarly, Terezi is a delightful smartass who actually uses a white cane correctly (woohoo!) while taking advantage of peoples' ignorances. And both of them have friends who treat them as people first, which is incredibly rare in any media we're in. Terezi also has a very powerful moment in which she undoes a magical cure for blindness, something I have never seen anywhere else, which makes her stronger but also strikes at something the able bodied community always takes for granted: maybe we don't want to live in your world. That moment by itself was enough to have me make an homage to Terezi in my legal name when I changed it.

I have only seen the one movie so far but I like what I've encountered of Zatoichi, the blind swordsman. The stereotypes he falls into are not western ones so that kind of helps, and he has a fantastic confidence which he masks by playing up being a helpless blind man. It's very satisfying to watch him kick ass endlessly. :D

Also Gareth or whatever his name is from Quest for Camelot; it's a dumb movie but I will always give extra points for a character using a cane like we actually use them! The movie gets points for not curing his blindness and for a joke I quote to this day ("What are you doing?!" "I'm driving!"). XD Points lost for face touching though, GOD. Stop doing that, sighted people! It's weird and gross and the only time I ever want to touch anyone's face is with my fist!

In terms of the worst, if I ever meet the author of this one book I read which featured a totally helpless, whining blinded knight who becomes a total asshole when he's magically healed (also fuck magically curing disabilities), I will beat them over the head with their own shitty book and then make them eat it one page at a time. I didn't even finish that pile of trash, it made me so angry. Oh, and the entire book/movie titled Blindness. I'm glad that motherfucker is dead because fuck that guy. Not only is it a massive insult to the blind, it shits on what people are really like in a crisis. Honorable mention to that one very dumb movie where the blind war veteran is the movie monster, but it is at least good for a ton of laughs right up until it just veers off a cliff into "what the fuck?!" canyon, after which it is just a singularity of stupid.

[naniskys]

bad buddy fandom getting-to-know-you meme!

Thanks for the tag @fiercynn !! This is a really lovely idea :)

note: i consider "fanworks" to pretty much everything people create related to a fandom, including but not limited to meta/analysis/discussion, gifs, fanvids/edits/fancams, filk, fanart, fanfic, fan food, fan crafts, etc. please include this note with the meme unless you have a different definition!

name and whatever you want to share about yourself hi i'm mars, i use she/her pronouns, i live in australia and i've been into thai/asian bl for a little over a year now. i mostly just lurk and mass rb on tumblr lol, but i'd definitely like to get to know more people !!

when did you watch bad buddy/join the fandom? I was actually trying to track down the exact date recently (i failed), but i watched it for the first time around mid-september 2022, ended up binging it in a day and been a part of the fandom since

favorite ship(s) patpran <3

favorite character(s) pat !! he's one of my favourite characters from any media ever. I just love how selfless he is and how he transforms through the show, and how bright he is but knows when to stand his ground. i could wax poetics about him fr <3

favorite episode(s) Whenever i watch/rewatch bad buddy i tend to binge it so i can never distinguish betweens episodes lol. In general, ep 12 is definitely one of my favs because i feel like it ties things up nicely and i like seeing them happy :) i can probably give a better answer for favourite scene...

favorite scene(s) ...which is why it's great that this is the next question!

In no particular order: the staircase proposal scene, the bus stop roleplaying scene, the post-curtain bench hand holding scene (specifically that one face pat/ohm makes which imo is the single most most heartbreaking frame in the entire show), the ep 12 post-credits scene (wait was it actually post-credits, i don't remember ajksdjf), the screaming on the rocks at the zero-waste village scene, and the rooftop kiss (ofc)

Basically i just like to see them happy (most of the time) :)

one thing you would change about the show if you could the whole making-it-up-to-wai arc was not it for me. WHY was pran the one apologising and going after him??? still makes me mad to this day, but i think i'd have a lot more animosity towards wai if ep 12 didn't exist (also all the wai redemption arcs in fanfics have made me warm up to him :P)

what are your some of your favorite fanworks made by other people? ahhh so many!! joy of stanning a show that's finished is that it stays going through fanworks, but also now there's too many that i absolutely adore to remember in the moment, sp here's some:

we both know you're my only dream (fic) by @fiercynn: one of my favourite fics ever that i constantly go back and reread whenever i'm having a bad day (or not)

yield strength (fic) by @dulosis: the physics analogies do something to my brain /pos

10 things i hate about you (fic) by @nobodynobodyno: this one's so cute and i reread it all the time

this fmv to tujh mein rab dikhta hai by @transpat: desi moots, iykyk. but fr this holds such a special place in my heart, the lyrics are so patpran and the editing and clip choice is just *chef's kiss*

this fmv to dandelions: IT'S SO GOOD. all the parallels, the dialogue overlaying is just perfect, and the TRANSITIONS (the one at 1:28 especially)

every single one of @hereforlou's art: i'm literally obsessed, i don't always see everything on my dash so i'll literally check their tumblr every couple days. is this stalker behaviour? possibly, but if you've seen their art i think you'd understand.

Also special mention to this one gifset of the staircase proposal scene which was my first ever exposure to bad buddy, it made me watch the show to begin with, but i didn't rb it when i first saw it so now it's lost to the times 😭😭

I have an insane amount of fanfic i wanted to put here but for the sake of length of this post, i restrained myself ajskdjf

(if you create fanworks) what are your favorite fanworks that you’ve made? i do not (yet 👀)

a song that makes you think of bbs (the ones in the show don’t count lol) pretty much every fmv/edit that i've rewatched a couple times set to a song will make me thing of bbs lol, so some are tujh mein rab dikhta hai and dandelions from above, emily by Jeremy Zucker and Chelsea Cutler because of this amazing fic, and gorgeous by Taylor Swift because of this gorgeous edit (y'all please go watch it it's amazing).

idk anything else you want us to know? It's the perfect timing for this because these are my nails right now ):)

honestly not super sure who of my mutuals are bbs moots so i'm just gonna tag some people, feel free to ignore this if you've already been tagged/don't want to do it! :)

@nobodynobodyno @dropthedemiurge @justafriend-ql @cornflowershade @hometothecanyonmoon @7nessasaryevils

If you see this and you want to do it, this is is me tagging you as well !!

[hexcrystals]

little pre-warning for suicide (i'm fine though!!)

sorry if this isn't articulated very well but like. i got into ofmd only last october when season 2 was airing and i still remember it's bc i got a clip on tiktok of the "is that blackbeard?" "no, i'm blackbeard" scene which is SUCH a good fucking hook btw. and before watching it i kind of actually hated it LOL like people do with anything that's popular and Everywhere it just oversaturates sometimes. and it made me feel kind of silly to go back on my own opinion but i didn't even really dwell on that bc me getting into it also happened to coincide with a failed suicide attempt (that kind of funnily also included a gun that misfired like in-show lol). and like i was pretty understandably all over the place, but generally still in the "i want to live" moment that happens right after you nearly properly die. and the thing about suicide recovery is that you don't actually want to recover. so it was a really up and down left and right kind of situation and you're left feeling kind of like a puppet with no strings that's also been thrown into the ocean or something.

but then i liked this show that was funny and silly and i also got to see trans and gay people existing happily and normally which isn't necessarily NEW but it did feel really cool and unique to be able to go Oh and this is the moment where they would usually leave it to subtext and then they actually KISS and it's like woahhhh. i didn't know they could do that... and then as i was still processing what was happening with my own life and like mortality i got to see this character go through the exact same thing and come out on the other side of it ENTIRELY by himself and experience love and self determination and actualisation and i'm not saying it made me want to do it myself but it did feel like a really personal thing for me (hence anon also lol).

and for the few weeks it was coming out i got to sit there and think about how he was doing and it gave me another reason to not do something again. like i am so definitely not the only one who can say "this show saved my life" but honestly it literally did. like there's that thing when you're suicidal where the things that you're sticking around for are the only things you've got so they're as important as anything even if it's like... going to a concert the following week or something. or getting a burger. and i really honestly stuck around just to love this show and my cat.

it's been a few months now ofc and it still sucks and i'm not better or anything but being able to indulge in something fun for fun's sake is the biggest source of joy in my life and tbh it's not gonna go away just because there's going to be no season 3. when i'm feeling too much of particularly anything i have a handy little balm which i know everyone feels but still. a little gifset of ed always makes me feel better if i'm freaking out so it's cool i don't care if it's a bit lame. i'm a bit sad for season 3 and everyone being sad is also making me sadder but i still have a lot of love left so ah. it'll be fine :)

if anything i hope this inspires people to have a little boom in the numbers re: content now that we know there'll be no canon to possibly diverge from and we can make up our OWN season 3 ‼️ which will be fun :)

hi anon sorry i didn't reply to this yesterday i wanted to sit and think about what to say

and then i didn't really come up with anything lmao other than you're right and i love you and i love this show and it's so incredibly important to me and so groundbreaking in so many ways and has made me feel seen in a way that no other piece of media ever has. the queer rep is groundbreaking. the portrayal of ed's suicidality moved me beyond words. there are dozens of other people sharing stories about how ofmd helped them to come out or meet their partner or start transitioning or quit something that was making them unhappy. i watched s2 at a time while i was really struggling with post-covid symptoms. i've met so many incredible people through this fandom. i think about the show dozens of times a day. the show brought me so much joy and they can't take that away

they can't ever take away how special it was and how much it's changed people's lives

i'm very excited to see what the amazing fic writers in this fandom are going to give us in place of s3. i just wish we could've had the rest of the story david wanted to tell

[br1ghtestlight]

okay first of all im not convinced that rudy didn't buy tickets only bcuz louise annoyed him about it and he vaguely recognized the bands name from one of his dads old records FJDMDNSMSMSJ

why doesn't tina get to go to the old man concert w/ gene louise and their friends 😭

love how both concerts that tina mentioned going to were boyz 4 now concerts and that BOTH of them were actual episodes in the show. this is why catching up on bob's burgers lore is so important. these are the things you'd miss!!!!

NOOO NOT THE KING BREAKING HIS PAW this is a code red emergency

EVERYTHING EVERYWHERE ALL AT QUINCE BURGER BANGER NAME‼️‼️ have the bobs burgers writers seen the hawk and chick bb/eeaao comparison gifsets. do they even know that they made me cry. i want you to know how much i love and support you even if you stop fighting monsters with me someday and do taxes instead. okay sorry i got distracted

rudy!!!!

okay MAYBE i missed them saying that the concert had paid entrance or something but this is a block party?? could they not just go downstairs and watch the band outside. like it might not be premium seats but at least they'd be going to their first concert ?

most normal louise and rudy interaction

LINDA IS GONNA GET LITTLE KING TRASHMOUTH EUTHANIZED GOOD GOD 😭😭😭😭💔💔

why is tina being the voice of reason here LMAO like at least google how to capture an injured raccoon or something

OH ITS NOT THAT HARD. GOOD WHEELS ON THIS THING obsessed w/ teddy in this subplot(??) i missed him

i feel like this episode has the same problem as the st patrick's day episode where despite the episode's title and description trying to make the subplot the main focus of the episode its also Clearly the subplot to a more important storyline. which is fine bcuz they're both entertaining in this episode but its gonna be confusing as hell in the future trying to find this episode 😭

"maybe it would be easier to watch the concert from the street" IM SAYING LIKE?? literally what was louise's plan here. im obsessed with her

girl. all this for like six pieces of candy

THIS HAS NO REASON TO BE SO STRESSFUL im shaking im so worried about little king trashmouth... if anything bad happens to him im killing everyone in this room and then myself. that would literally be bury your gays. to me

not bob having another burger related existential crisis ☹️☹️

bob has failed to realize he could cook literally ANY other food if he really wanted to. but i will admit he likes cooking the burgers. and tbh?? what he described sounded like an autistic dream so maybe he simply does not understand the vision like me and u bob. maybe he just doesn't get it

"is that magic marker?" "what makes you say that??" "my.... eyes?"

actually where the HELL did they get those shirts they're too big to be louise's but wayy too small to gene's this is the actual mystery in the episode. possibly maybe tina's old shirts or something??

today we learned that linda buys her wine from the liquor store on their block which was Probably obvious but cool to see it confirmed

OH HELL NOO BOB IS GETTIN OLDER

also kinda funny to say this when big bob is Literally in next weeks episode and seems happy enough running his diner.... like bob have you considered maybe you LIKE cooking for people and thats okay?? your dad does too. some people are happy to do one thing forever and thats not like a Problem unless you're unhappy

awww they're such cuties dancing together

ROMANTIC RACCOON REUNION 💕💕🏳️‍🌈

"Well there are moments, you know... when the band locks in, the crowd is with them and everything they ever loved about playing music comes flooding back in a rush of pure heavenly emotion. All that crap."

"But... all these decades later, they still have them? The moments?"

"You tell me."

😭😭 WHY DID THIS PART OF THE EPISODE MAKE ME WANNA CRY I HAVE TO GET A VIDEO OF IT OR SOMETHING. WHAT THE HELL too real for creative people..... omg. this season has a lot of moments like that about the creative process like gene's song etc

YOUNG BOB‼️‼️ OHH HES SUCH A GENTLEMAN bob my beloved

THIS EPISODE WAS VERY CUTE?? very silly subplot w/ linda and the raccoons and then louise and gene and their friends. bob's little crisis in the middle there got to me harder than anticipated (i think they could have easily made that into its own episode but considering they've done similar concepts in the past i dont hate that they didn't flesh that out as much as they could have. we already KINDA know where bob is coming from here) and the ending clip with bob singing was soo silly im gonna need to post that too. fun episode!

[angelhummel]

okay so in honor of pride month, i have something i wanna get off my chest for real. sorry if this is super long

I have a tendency to go outside of tumblr spaces when looking at glee content — something i frequently regret. but in my time in those spaces, i often the most delusional take ever. it is basically, “kurt was always kinda pushy towards finn. so did he actually DESERVE to be called a slur??? 🤔🤔🤔 let’s discuss.” this shit boils my blood to no end and while it’s obvious why, i feel the incessant need to defend my boy kurt at all costs.

for one, he wasn’t any more pushy than any other character in the show. i mean for god’s sake, rachel quite literally THREW herself at finn as early as the first episode and i guess that’s fine??? what kurt did was virtually no different bc all the characters do weird, out of pocket shit throughout the show. it really only bothered finn bc kurt is a boy and finn is OVERLY bothered by the prospect of a boy having a crush on him. (more specifically that its kurt — he just simply dislikes kurt being attracted potentially straight guys. thats why he took so much issue to kurt singing with sam. it’s always been about his personal issues with kurt)

moving on to the actual scene in question, so much of what flop accused kurt of was grossly unfair to him. like he says something along the lines of “im scared to even take a shower when youre around,” implying that kurt is some ‘predatory gay’. which is ironic, bc we learn from kurt himself that he never showered after gym JUST to avoid be labelled as something like that. at no point did kurt’s advances move towards remotely ANYTHING sexual in nature, finn just instead assumed that of him

finally, i do believe that flop WANTED to call kurt a slur. he knew that kurt wouldnt call him out for it and you can tell from his tone that that had been building up inside of him for awhile. he wanted something that would push kurt away/scare him. he just went for the cruelest method possible in the moment.

so all this was to basically say that flop hudson sucks and that kurt did not deserve any of the shit that he endured. he was pretty much taught by his peers that it is inappropriate and unacceptable for him to have the same wants and desires that literally any teenager would have simply bc he was gay.

thank you for tuning into my rant. this has been stewing for awhile lmao

lmao yesterday i saw a gifset where cory as finn was doing some good fun acting and i stared at him for like a minute going "if i focus on the cory of it all, can i trick myself into liking finn even a little bit?"

the answer was already no, but if it hadn't been, this ask wouldve set me straight. thank you <3

i've definitely talked about that before tho bc omg. finn has the nerve to call anyone else pushy. i know its not like it'd happened in the show already but. this is the boy setting up a whole kissing booth to manipulate quinn into kissing him aksljfsdlk. or the way he got drunk at the wedding reception in s4 and was hounding rachel. that literally gives me the heebie jeebies lmao sorry to be dramatic about it but i hate it

and god yeah it just breaks my heart bc we know that kurt is always walking on eggshells around these people anyway. and literally 2x04 has become one of my least favorite episodes bc of how hard it is to watch as a kurt stan lmao. sorry it has like two iconic songs but finchel are so fucking manipulative and awful and i've had several rants about this episode before aljsfdlks but basically boils down to them literally making kurt feel like he's committing a crime by asking sam to sing a duet with him and isolating him to an unhealthy degree

and then wanna act all :O four eps later when kurt is like "im getting tf out of here to go to school with people who are nice to me" aslkfdslfjsd

anyway literally just search "2x04 anti finn" on my blog and you will find more posts than you would ever care to read lmao

[nerdalmighty]

Make me choose between two things:

Ok if you insist. 😈

Only one of these can exist, which do you choose? Good Omens season 2 or Baldur's Gate 3?

-anntickwittee

What an absolutely vile question (affectionate).

To be honest? I know I'm currently obsessed with BG3 so I'm probably biased, but I think I'd rather keep BG3 over GO2. AND I HATE SAYING THAT!!!

My reason being: We were all super content with GO S1. It followed the book pretty closely and added elements that I think made it even more enjoyable than the book (In my opinion! I know it's beloved in its book form and I love it too, I just love how the show expanded on things). I truly didn't know what to expect from S2 because S1 was so well self contained and that's all fans thought we were ever going to get. I am THRILLED we got an S2. It's gorgeous and perfect and I'm beyond excited for S3 (which starts filming in January!!!!)

With BG3, it's really gotten me out of my comfort zone in terms of gaming and storytelling. In the past, I steered clear of big open world games because I was way too overwhelmed and prefer straightforward paths in games like Pokemon and Deltarune (I know there are multiple endings and ways to play, but for the most part there's an order in which to do things). With BG3, there are truly so many options that each gaming experience can feel brand new and pan out incredibly differently from a previous game. I love that there's replayability and that I'll be able to keep replaying it for years to come.

It's also helped push me in terms of playing and understanding dnd. I've been playing for a little over a year now and watching actual plays for longer, but I understand even more now having played this game. There's always a little feeling of excitement when the DM or people I'm watching play mention something that I learned because I've played BG3.

Additionally, something I've been struggling with recently is feeling motivated to be creative. I love my job and the people I work with, but there can be a monotony that creeps in since I work from home and have a fairly regimented schedule (animation production is NO JOKE! And it RULES!). Baldur's Gate has consistently inspired me to create (mainly write, which is what I've always wanted to do) and I'm so grateful for that after feeling lost for a long time.

Granted, I'm still feeling lost and unsure of my abilities, but getting to practice storytelling with characters I love and settings and elements I find interesting is really amazing. Yes, Good Omens 2 could have inspired something like this in me, but for whatever reason, it was BG3 that did. I read (and continue to read) a good amount of GO fics, but I was never inspired enough to create my own (though it DID inspire me to make some fun gifsets which I loved making). With BG3, not only have other fics inspired me, but there are moments between cutscenes and story beats that I've wanted to write and expand on since the game is so huge and the writers and developers could only expand on so much themselves. Ultimately, I want to be able to create those fantastical worlds and lovable characters and I'm really thankful BG3 reminded me of that.

Do I have any big ideas currently? No. But the intent is there and that's huge! So I'll keep persisting :)

POINT IS: I love both pieces of media and they're both deeply special to me, but since BG3 has helped reawaken a part of myself that's been snoozing for a long time, I'll pick that FOR NOW.

[koskela-knights]

This is gonna be a bit of a vent so I'll put it under the cut

Sometimes I really wonder how others and followers perceive and interact with my blog. Do u only see my stuff when it appears on ur dashboard? Or do u actively seek out this blog and scroll through it?

I see people like and sometimes reblog my age-old memes from months ago 😂 did u see them on someone else’s blog and decided to rb from the OP?

Well idk, but sometimes it kinda stings when most people only reblog stuff I reblog, like fanart and photos and seem to ignore all the stuff I make. Like wow thnx for following me only for others’ people stuff i guess. This blog was initially created to yeah, reblog bout the Koskelas but there was literally 0 content to reblog so it became more of a place where I share my own stuff

Again, I keep having trouble by comparing myself to others. Putting so much time and love into my serious art, gifs and moodboard edits only for most of them to be ignored or sit at a low 5 notes (given the fact I have more followers than that but 90% seems to not be active here. Some people rly start following me and then never reblogged or liked anything. Not even stuff I reblog from others.)

Like yeah I still enjoy sharing stuff I make but it gets harder and harder and I hate to often catch myself thinking:

is it even still worth posting when barely anyone interacts or reblogs anymore? Is it even worth making something anymore?🤪 (glad my fixation conquers the self-doubt more often than not)

maybe my art is just not good enough or not pleasing enough or whatever for people to want it on their own blog 🤡 Ik the note amount isn't everything to strive for lol but as a somewhat visual indicator of how much smth might be liked and enjoyed, it sucks ass at times when barely anyone interacts but only interact on stuff u didn't make. At first I wondered if people dont rly know what the rb button is until people do reblog stuff that isnt mine 🤸 Anyways that’s actually a big reason I started another sideblog to rb and to keep most stuff on here, just be my stuff. Cue the decline in activity.

It's already difficult being a Koskela fan, given the fact how little the large average fandom seems to care but I've seen other Koskela fanart that gotten 100+ notes. Makes me always think how??? Maybe they're more popular and have a bigger reach... The annoying voice in my head tells me it's becos their art is better T_T

But I think popularity really is key becos I remember when the 6 second Koskela BTS video came out and I created gifs out of it, which in the end did get a bigger rb/love than most of my work ever reached, but some other blog instantly had like 100-200+ notes on the same gifset that hadn't even fully separated each fragment of that 6second thing 😂

Anyways that's all for today. Sometimes I gotta express some insecurities and disappointment lmao