#if i dont sleep literally just this second | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

bangcakes · 6 months ago

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#can i just say. how Terrifying it is to know what its like to truly like someone romantically #like b4 i was just like... that post thats like i was just ptptptptpt until i became conscious or whatever.#idk i just HJDJXJXJDJ im so glad i never settled #so many times friends would be like. youre sabotaging it. youre looking for a reason not to like the person so you can run away #but no !!!! turns out !!!@ i just didnt like them enough !!!!@ bc NOW....????? oh i definitely know what it feels like #and if ya'll have been having crushes like this your whole lives... how have you even been coping JDJDJJDNDND #i thought crushes were bad enough b4 n i didnt even know the full extent until now like.... hhhhh #and like. ok at this point its more than a crush. bc we're friends and i think its mutual. IDK. I JUST DONT KNOW FJRIDIOXKDLDXMXJJXXKX #im trying to be patient..... and im glad i have been bc i really dont think i was ready until now for this #i really dont think i was mature enough b4. like really. ive chilled out so much #anyway i always end up thinking about him past 10pm. n its almost 12am. so this is dangerous territory #if i dont sleep literally just this second #personal

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icewindandboringhorror · 10 months ago

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sneeping with his legs up over his head for some reason... weird boye

#cats #love the second picture... skrungly sleepy well rested boye face...#since he's an elderly boy now sometimes when he wakes up from a nap he looks a bit scruffy and squinty eyed #Hard to beleive he's like 15 though.. he still looks like a kitten to me.. due to his giant round creature eyes and childlike demeanor #I think it's interesting that like... baby cats are babies. kittens are kittens. and you can tell a cat is like 'young adult' phase #looking from like a few months to maybe 1yr or 2yrs.. but after that they just always look the same to me #a 5 yr old cat is a 10 yr old cat is a 15 year old cat. unless the cat in question is particulalry aged or youthful #I still have so so little energy... it's been icy here this week. like not even FUN but just scary icy even thoguh i lOOOVE the cold #and its my favorite weather. I think it'd be okay actually if I had a woodburning stove/fireplace/hearth thing. literally thats my only #concern with the power going out. I genuinely don't mind stuff like having to go to the bathroom in buckets or cook over a fire or do other #less conveninet things. Its just that if eveyrhtng is electric then you have no way to cook and all of that. well.. and I literally need #background noise to go to sleep lest my ocd sprials become so loud I am slowly driven into maddness.. but a few battery packs or something #and a phone with one downloaded video I could play on repeat is fine for that. I dont need internet. ANYWAY.. so so sad that my fav #orite season ever (winter) is here. and the first cold of the winter is like... just an ice storm that you cant even walk in. I #love like 4 feet of snow where you can play in it and stuff. But just a thin flat sheet of a few inches of ice over every imaginable surfac #is not really playable. the wind speeds are so high and so many trees fall it's actually not that safe to go hang out outside anyway unless #you were in a totally clear open field. which is SAD also because i love ice and high winds. i love to stand out there and get whipped in t #he face with ice crystals and feel like I'm in some dramatic movie or something. but alas.. the threat of being attacked by a falling tree.#I did go out some but again it's like. literallyyou cant walk on it. so I just squatted and dragged myself along the ground lol #One of my stories has a whole section where the main characters are trapped in a deadly cold environment for a week and have to use magic #to survive and etc. etc. so I'm always like.. ouuu.. I should go in the ice.. it's Writing Research actually.. *foolishly gets frostbite*#THOUGH yesterday I went on a harrowing evil journey down a bunch of icy hilly roads to go check on some person's cat because the cat #had been left in the house for like 5 days at that point with nobody to check on them and nobody else seemed to want to do anything #about it (like call all of the neighbors or try to get someone out there) so I just went myself with a roommate who agreed to drive me.#It seemed acting totally normal and I gave it more food and water but.. I am still worried about it.. Apparently the person will be able #to get back to their house tomorrow but.. I dont trust them. But I couldnt take the cat with me because it's like.. a stranger's cat #basically and also no carrier + very skittish.. so I feared if I just tried to carry them bare handed they'd definitely leap from my grasp #and then it'd be like.. sliding on a sheet of ice chasing a cat and so on.. I still think they need to be watched for health issues tho >:|#ANYWAY.... many cat adventures lately... and strange weather... I wish for a normal week without always so many Things Happening.. augh

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thebigqueer · 21 days ago

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literally having the worst day ever and i cant ever be happy (has only experienced minor inconveniences today but they keep adding up)

#first of all i didnt get a lot of sleep so im mad tired #second of all the place i usually get lunch on campus said they werent doing bagels at the moment and it ruined me #cuz i was soooo excited to get bagels #third of all i was already cranky so i got all in my feels last night #so i had a dream where my gf who isnt my gf and saw each other on one fo the campuses and she was w her friends #at one point we were both leaving and iw as watcing her and her and her friend knew i was there #so then her friend comes over and shes like '[gf name] loves you so much'#and i was about to cry tears of joy i was like REALLY???#and then her friend started laughing and gestured to my gf who isn't my gf's OTHER friend behind me and she was like 'jk lol she meant #this friend not you el oh el'#and then my gf and her friends were all laughing at me and i burst into tears #and then in full on sobs i was like 'i loved you so much how could you leave me'#and then my gf was just like 'well youre a bad person and you think youre sooooo myseterious and youre a terrible person and i never loved #you' and oh my god it ruined my morning #i know a lot of it was just psychological cuz i was already moody when i went to bed #and i have this werid paranoia where i think her and her friends talk shit about me #which i doubt they do but it still stresses me out #so thats probably why that hapepned #and then on top of all that. fourth of all im getting lunch and i literally see her outside. like i dont see her for days and of course #the day i least want to see her shes right there #i mean im generally doing better than september and i didnt feel the same sinking feeling #i used to in like sept but still like brooooo bro this day could not be worseee #the only good thing that happened was that i passed my physics exam <3 #also yeah again i said these are minor inconveniences im just frustrated lol #sunny rambles

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greatgoddyke · 2 months ago

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some bobbles (+ two unfinished things)

#bonk.png #undescribed #exocolonist #i was a teenage exocolonist #iwatec #iwatex #anyway first thing bc its the shortest i dont think sol would actually id as anything n prefer to be unlabeled #bc of like. the timeloop stuff n every life kind of blending together BUT i think it'd be funny as hell if they were aro #n just never became aware of this bc their self reflection skills in regards to shit unrelated to the loop are That Bad #also im aro n like when characters are aro + love it when characters are kind of deranged about their friends #speaking of which madoka au! forever ago i drew the 🤝 meme with sol n homura n now im coming back to that #its not a 1 to 1 au straight up the commonalities begin n end at ''tammy & sol are kind of like madoka/homura''#stuff i got down for it in a sleep deprived haze were that sol nemmie n tangent were the only magical girls #n tammy hasnt been offered to become one nemmie n tangent arent aware that sol is a magical girl for a while #friendgroup at school is nemmie cal tammy n sol (tangent goes to a different school n is separate until she teams up with nemmie)#nemmie n tang team up bc somehow witch attacks keep being diverted from certain locations n grief seeds are disappearing #which is actually sol's doing theyre moving witches away from areas tammy will be n the grief seeds are to 1. discourage nem n tang from #fighting witches n 2. so sol can stockpile them basically bc they use timetravel a lot n need to keep their gem clean #the timeloop has progress (to an extent) its not a singular month looping its kind of like. video game save mechanics #like reloading the save u have before a bossfight n then if ur not adequately prepared reloading a save u have farther back #n then continuing on until u get stuck on a specific fight again yknow #theres more but moving on to the two unfinished things those are meant to be like a utdr au (specifically dr)#in a similar manner to the previous au of same premise n setting but different story bc theyre different characters #there's a lot less set for this au its entirely just playing in the sand n has nothing beyond vague role assignments #the first one that's like lineart in different colors is entirely scrapped bc i didnt like how it was turning out (meant to be darkworld fit #second one i struggled BADLY with marz oh my god this au is literally primarily for having fun with character designs but oh my god.#as it says there shes meant to be a modern art styled metal monster (got the metal idea from her dads' names n the modern art bc shesrefined #n sleek) but i had no actual idea how to convey that n i was trying to tackle it from a pixel art angle this time n i could notfigure it out #n then nomi nomi was super easy literally didnt even sketch them theyre a tiny pixie im sorry marz T-T #probably not gonna touch on this stuff again cause i was fixing on exo to avoid thinking about my bday but its happened so im fine now ��

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popstart · 4 months ago

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the moment people stop being comically against courtney is the day i stop making fun of them for being weird and wrong. stop being weird about a fictional character in ways that are hilariously stupid and ill stop calling you hilariously stupid

#people see my posts and vauge post about it saying UM WELL I DONT HATE COURTNEY SO WHY DID YOU SAY THAT #im not fucking talking about you oh my gOD IM SO TIRED OF SEEING IT. sorry i try to be normal but why have discussions around her regressed #like its gotten so much worse WHYYY OH MY GODDD. “omfg courtney fans always jump to courtney haters being misogynists”#no i jump to you being a fucking weirdo for caring so much which makes me raise my eyebrows #i literally enjoy other people having different opinions about characters i like and dislike bc everyone echoing me would be so boring #but people never like her for the valid reasons there are to dislike her and jump on her in crazy fucking ways. BEEE NORMALLL BE FUCKING N #ps talks #jesus fuck i try not to say shit like this over and over and over again because; again; i dont like seeing my own opinions everywhere #i dont want people to see my opinions and repeat it every 5 seconds even though i dont think i have that much influence #its just when i see people posting about my posts saying that im weird for defending a character so hard it drives me nuts bc #it feels like people lost the damn plot so hard. you have to reach so far to think i fucking care if people dislike courtney BECAUSE I DONT #IVE SAOID THIS 5 BILLION TIMES I ENJOY SEEING CHARACTERS IN DIFFERENT LIGHT. AS LONG AS YOUR OPINION ISNT FUCKING WEIRD #sorry im getting so annoyed i need to go to sleep i havent eaten anything in like 20 hours

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solei-eclipse · 5 months ago

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solei moment (fainted at the party)

#it wasn't alcohol induced or anything btw i wasn't drunk im just a weak ass pussy #physical condition: absolutely abysmal #i blacked out #its probably time i mention that soleis physical condition and various issues are in fact based off of mine #they started as a sona after all #but LMAO #one second im nibbling ice cream and the next second my vision blacks #literal “mr stark i dont feel so good” and then from that point it's.joever #this shit is so funny man #hashtag solei hashtag anemia #Yeah Im Okay! <- has been tolerating the blaring music of the party for 6 hours straight with no food no water #no sleep no rest no bitches #SORRY LMFAO THIS IS SO RANDOM #alnst oc: solei #misc #delete later

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gingergari · 4 months ago

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@dooplissss

meet ayumu nakagawa(中川歩夢, nakagawa ayumu), the second year art history teacher at ua and pro hero dreamer!

quirk: dreamwalk

dreamer can enter the dreams of others and interact with both the elements of the dream and the person dreaming themselves. with training in lucid dreaming, dreamer can summon some objects but is limited outside of his own dreams. any injuries inflicted on either party while the quirk is active will reflect on their physical bodies once they wake up.

the quirk active radius can vary, but average strength is around 25-30 meters.

dreamer typically works at night and works in finding missing persons and otherwise locating and/or apprehending hard to find villains. one of his students has expressed interest in joining his agency should he expand operations.

dreamer has a soft voice and appears to be rather tired some days, but tries his best to keep the class engaged anyway. he has been teaching at ua for about 4 years.

(submit a number from 1-30 to see one of my bnha ocs!)

here’s the one other time i drew him! (2021)

#gari draws #gari’s ocs #bnha #mha #mha oc #bnha oc #oc: ayumu nakagawa #nakagawa is trans :^)#i wrote his quirk in japanese as being 夢散歩 which is literally just the kanji for dream and then walk together. idr if i used jisho #to specifically make sure it means dreamwalk but yeah #we know very little about the curriculum for second and third years at ua so i made a new cast of teachers for the second years #it’s possible that they only have art history for one year anf then something else. but whatever subject is closest to art he would teach i #i also can’t visualize distances well. 30 meters sounds far but i don’t want him to have to sleep so close to the target #maybe he can push the radius further in exchange for less power inside the dream #also since he isn’t actively sleeping he isn’t as refreshed as he would be going to bed normally but he can recover some energy #i was so excited to draw him #and the sort of goatee stubble whatever tf it is was very spur of the moment #bc he is like 29 but has a case of the babyface #may do some minor tweaks regarding that but it is almost 4am 🤡#i dont have a set voiceclaim for him yet but maybe muichirou’s seiyuu from kny?

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astranauticus · 1 year ago

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not sure if this counts as an AU but.. thinking about the Per Aspera crew as horror game bosses like.. you are wandering through a forested mountain range and you know somethings wrong because the forest shouldn't be this eerily silent, this devoid of life, and then you hear the crash of falling trees and there is a hand that is half your size glowing golden in the night and it is grabbing you and its claws are digging into your flesh and you see the spines running down the golden arm that is far too long as it lifts you over a crater in mountain, over a coiled, serpentine thing with a visage that is not of this world, and if you look closely you can see the shape of a child curled at the centre of the thing, golden hair reflecting the glow of the creature and if you listen closely you can hear her sobbing, 'Don't hurt me, I don't want to do this'. you are sailing through the astral sea when you see an ephemeral, resplendent spelljammer cutting through the starry waters and you rejoice because you have been lost on the seas for so so long, so you board the ship looking for help, supplies, anything, and you are greeted by a blue fire genasi (you wonder, do those even exist? but you can't get off the ship now because where else will you go?) and she tells you she is the captain of this ship but as far as you can tell there is no crew on board, and if she is not appearing right behind you from a trapdoor you've never noticed she is always in the engine room 'fixing the ship' even though the ship seems to be sailing perfectly fine ('Where are we going?' you ask her once and she doesn't even turn to look at you, 'Don't worry about it') and if you are ever so unlucky as to damage the ship in any way, you begin to catch flashes of red and orange out of the corner of your eye, a fire genasi wearing the woman's face who whispers at you with hollow, angry eyes 'Don't you fucking dare hurt my ship'. you are sailing through the astral sea when you see a rotting, decaying spelljammer, so badly damaged it's barely moving although you have to wonder how it's even staying afloat at all, and out of some morbid curiosity you climb on board and the deck of the ship is in no better shape than the hull, the marks of hard-fought battle - scars in the wood from sharp blades and arcane energies, stains of blood and oil splattered about - still fresh but you know time doesn't pass on the astral sea so who knows how long ago this all took place, and as you climb below decks you start to notice the writings on the walls, pieces of parchment nailed to every surface and connected with fraying, rotting threads, or words etched directly into the wood, the deep gouges barely readable, and you start to hear the creaking and clanking of rusted machinery slowly moving about and you turn a corner to see a figure standing in a room facing the wall, slowly scratching yet more of that unintelligible writing into the bones of the ship, and it turns as the rusted dented mechanite stares at you with eyes ablaze and he asks 'Who are you? Where is my crew?' as sparks of arcane lightning begins to arc through the room. you are running through a feywild forest and you know, even without the figure chasing you, that you have made a horrible mistake, you should have known better, should have been more careful, should have kept your impulses in check, and now you are being chased through an unfamiliar forest and the figure, the Hunter pursuing you knows this realm like the back of his hand, knows every tree and shrub and vine that is slithering up to grasp at your ankles, and you glance back desperately to catch any glimpse of your pursuer but there is no pursuer, he has hidden himself with some arcane trick or some innate power or just the knowledge that this realm is his home, and you hear his voice even though you cannot see him as he cries out 'You should not have hurt my family. Prepare to face the Hunter of Hundkiln'

sorry no Vhas yet maybe I'll update with one for him once we get more of his whole deal

#rolling with difficulty #asto speaks #well i lied only kyana's and finbar's really work as video game bossfights #dani's is more... horror short story? vr-la's is horror comic #bc dani's much more psychological and the environmental storytelling of vr-la's one would be pretty interesting.. probably #in hindsight vr-la's reads like it could be a magnus archive entry LMAO #contrary to whatever you may think (especially if youre in the discord) i dont actually like most horror #like i've only listened to abt ~10 episodes of tma bc it started fucking up my sleep thats how much of a wuss i am #like i dont actually *enjoy* horror but idk i had so much fun writing this. for some reason #hell i dont even enjoy *writing* most of the time #all the others are kinda based on a specific scenario like kyana's is if she never left the cenobium and suvi snapped before she did #(if you've watched/read jjk0 video game bossfight suvi is very much just orimoto rika)#vr-la's and finbar's are pretty self evident #dani's is kinda.. inspired by alfonso of the stultifera navis making this my second rwd brainworm that's just an arknights reference #captains that are cursed to haunt their empty ships plagued with has beens and could have beens #(her one is the only one absolutely not meant to be read as literal btw its a very 'that house has been empty for 40 years' kinda vibe)#found it kinda funny that dani's and vrla's start in very similar ways bc they both kinda have that i am the ship and the ship is me thing #dani's vibe in this is just more illusions and delusions and vrla's is more decaying forgotten grief #a ghost of a mechanite haunting a corpse of a ship

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senselessalchemist · 2 years ago

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exorcising a stupid image that has been bumping around my empty skull like the DVD logo bouncing around the TV screen (terrible quality because I truly havent drawn in so long)

#saroart #dead cells #the beheaded #the collector #truly there are too many the collectors out there in indie video game land #like theres obviously hollow knight maniacal laughter collector #and then theres the naga like one from skul #and then the one from slay the spire #like okay guys come on yes its a fun title its evocative it makes you think things #anyway still plugging away at my goals #goal the first is graduate #goal the second is play every game that dead cells references #goal the third is write the longest dead cells fic #fic is officially 50k+ and i had to split it into halves to continue writing it on my phone because gdocs is weak #i really wanna finish it but theres still... some significant stuff to do #and editing of course #maybe i should put up one of the cute chapters as a teaser #is that a thing people do? literally have 0 idea because i dont read fic usually or know any of the etiquette #god ive never posted a multichapter fic i dont even know how to do it lmao #any way im very sleep deprived because i just started hormones and i was too like keyed up to sleep last night #thats all ramble done

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carnivalcarriondiscarded · 1 year ago

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hm. if you've sent me outfits and Don't want to be continuously tagged since many of them have multiple and will be spread out over separate posts, lemme know

#getting tagging anxiety again yeehaw #i can soft-tag you np literally no sweater off of my back #i can imagine how getting Mention notifications for pretty much the same thing over and over can be irritating yk yk #so just. yk. let me know #especially since some of them im getting a liiiiitle carried away with #and want to post On Their own instead of grouped with others #BUT YEAH LEMME KNOW #absolutely unprompted #i love interacting with people but also it scares me so so much and also im very very exhausted constantly #lately the mere thought of formulating responses makes me want to curl up into a tiny ball and Sleep #that second part has nothing to do with this post #my point is: direct interaction is Scary and i dont want to annoy anyone <3

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laurzvahll · 5 months ago

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fighting demons to not have the most public breakdown rght now

#im so fucking close to just blocking them and then not talking to anyone else for weeks or months or idfk idfk i have got to kms #i hate my life oh my god im gonna throw up im genuinely gonna be sick i cant do this i need to disappear from the face of the world for a #couple days or something #im literally shaking lol #i dont even wanna do shit anymore i just wanna sleep forever and not have to talk to anyone ever again #this is what i get for letting myself get close to people and giving second chances #i wish theyd just get rid of me once they get bored of me instead of keeping me around #cant even talk about it to anyone cuz theyre gonna think im fucking crazyyy wooo #im gonna start bawling why am j always bawling over the same mf

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obiwan-kenobabe · 3 months ago

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I just had the most fucked up and horrific nightmare and I swear my brain was trying to pull me out of it because it kept getting worse but also I woke up in like three different beds in succession in my dream before waking up in real life. Horrifying.

#literally tell me why the three beds i woke up in were also so horribly cursed too #like my mind was trying to make sure i knew i wasn't fully awake or aware yet #the first bed i was literally sleeping with both of my exes fucking KILL ME #the second bed i woke up and i was alone in my dad's house (when i used to house sit for him the only place to sleep was his bed)#and the third bed was WITH the last unmentionable person to destroy me emotionally after i thought he loved me SO KILL ME AGAIN #nightmare bed rotation (literally)#dont mind me #I'm just freaked out #also my pets were there but I'm not going to talk about it because it was sad and fucked up #but another reason i think my brain was trying to get me to realize it wasn't real bc my dead dog was there too with my alive cat #idk man #freaky inception shit just casually went on in my brain #I'm going to stay up for a lil while i think...#🥴🥴🥴#BOTH OF MY EXES AT THE SAME TIME?? BRUH C'MON

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magiefish · 1 year ago

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THEY DID THE METACRISIS AGAIN.

AND THIS TIME HE'S NOT EVEN SAFELY CONTAINED IN HIS OWN UNIVERSE!

AND THEY MADE THE FIRST BLACK DOCTOR PLAY SECOND FIDDLE TO A WHITE ONE AND

OH MY GOD TAKE THAT BOYS TARDIS AWAY FROM HIM GODDAMIT I WANT TO WATCH HIM

DIE

#tragedy enjoyers we are *not* winning #maybe its the oversaturation of david tennant in the media #maybe its his unjustified return to doctor who #maybe its just because im sick of the fandom obssession with 10 to the neglect of all other doctors #or maybe its just because i hate obvious nostalgia bate and the bcc's obvious cowardice retreating back to rtd rather than try something new #but man i was looking forward to watching 14 kick it only to be ROBBED #tbc i dont have anything against tennant personally im just tired of seeing him everywhere #like does he sleep? does he eat? does he spend time with his family? idk #also really disappointed that they made Ncuti play second-fiddle to an old white doctor. like cmon thats so cowardly. fuck you.#and i wouldnt hate the whole '14 stays on earth with donna' thing IF THEY HADNT DONE THAT BEFORE WITH ROSE #AND IF THEY HAD CLARIFIED THEY HE CANT REGENERATE #AND TAKEN THE TARDIS AWAY #AND ACTUALLY EXPLAINED WHY THE FACE CAME BACK LIKE GIRL THE TRAUMA RECOURSE WAS RIGHT THERE #It's just. its always fucking tennant that gets the special treatment isnt it? every other doctor has to cease #but he gets out of jail free #(also if it was about finding family again and taking a break. Susan Is Literally Chilling One Century Away)#on the positive side i did like the toymaker. he was severely wasted but i liked him he was fun #i really enjoyed the dance sequence it served like no purpose but it was a lot of fun #also the soundtrack. i like ominous 'la la la la' noise. they better release it soon.#anyway rant over #doctor who

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knightzp · 1 year ago

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mayonaka no nocturne played on my playlist and now im thinking abt how we're eventually gonna get new knights solos and how its impossible that happyele makes a better solo for ritsu

#its just. too perfect for ritsu #the melody is slow and sweet like him and it also emphasizes ritsus beautiful voice to the max #and THE LYRICS #very very very ritsucore #(and very ritsumaocor-) *gets shot*#NO BUT REALLY #its literally ritsu yearning for a loved one he cant be with. aka mao bc hes always so busy and they cant spent a lot of time together #imagine ritsu singing this on the piano scene in band ensemble. and on the final scene with mao sleeping too #oughgggg #i hope ritsu gets a really good second solo but i dont think it will surpass mayonaka no nocturne for me #for the others on knights mmmmm #tsukasa and leos solos are also very on their characters so it will be hard to do better ones too #for izumi and arashis solos it will be easier i think. like i really like them but i feel its possible to make something even better #idk just my thoughts

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hecksupremechips · 5 months ago

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My ass was trying so hard not to jump up and down with glee playing yttd with my sister and getting to the shin reveal I was like MY GUY MY FUNNY LAD MY SILLY RABBIT

#the klock keeps ticking #yttd #its like i cant get ahead of myself when talking about him cuz theres still a lot not revealed by the end of ch2 but STILLLL #i was keeping my opinions on characters pretty neutral this whole playthrough though my bias towards gin and kai was very apparent lol #and i did start screaming in agony reliving my worst nightmare joe dying #i dont think my sister was nearly as torn up about it as i was though like god ill still never get over it #the first time i played i actually gross sobbed like maybe i was just sleep deprived but i was inconsolable literally never cried that hard #but yeah we did the second main game today and i was like #‘not trying to persuade your vote but heres one million reasons why we should let shin live ahaha’#i dont think she was very happy with her vote aldnks #but yeah i really am gonna be sooo annoying next time we play im literally gonna bring pages of shin analysis with me that i can gush about #it is an interesting thing this character cuz to me like everything about him is so clear like even from the beginning i just didnt buy #the idea that he was genuinely an asshole i knew there had to have been something more going on #and idk if ive made it clear guys…but hes exactly like me guys hes just like me fr #his story hits so hard it feels like my own self insert which is weird cuz obviously thats not true #but like i feel like its either you get it or you dont and if you dont understand exactly what this character feels cuz you feel it yourself #i feel like so much of him just wont make any sense to you #maybe im just being pretentious idk but like if you cant relate to his abuse and just #very blatant bpd then I feel like youll just judge him on how good or badof a person he is #like it just doesnt feel like itd hit in the same way like when i see this character talking about being hopeless and the way his trauma #makes him act irrationally like god it just clicks so hard it makes so much sense and i can physically feel it through the screen #I MAY BE FERAL ABOUT THIS CHARACTER TO AN ABSURD DEGREE SHHH #basically what im getting at is i feel if i dont over explain everything about this character to other people i fear they just Wont Get It #and that they will be judgmental which idk i guess makes me defensive #anyway yeah i just enjoy getting to re experience the spiral this guy has given me and i will be thinking about it a lot tonight

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bangcakes · 7 months ago

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#after months of nothing..... i just got another interview JDJDJJDJDDJ #TWICE IN ONE WEEK....???????? BRUH. IS MY LUCK CHANGING????#this second one seems so much better too. like more benefits... remote.... and most importantly... .net my beloved....#personal #im just !!!! i feel so much better. i was literally so down earlier bc i was like man... if i dont get this one... im fucked #BUT AHAHHAHAHA ANOTHER OPTION HAS BEEN MADE AVAILABLE !!!!!#:')))))))#im so happy. like truly :'))))#i was starting to have like. second thought about my career change. and was also having like MAJOR imposter syndrome #but to make myself feel better i was like.... it was all worth it tho even if its a mistake bc i met ..... you know JDJDJDKKZKZKZMZMZMZMZMZ #n e way..... to sleep i gooo~~~

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