#if i didn't do urs it's not bc i hate u it's prob bc i sketched it out and wanted to color it later bc i wasn't feeling up to it😭���
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lotus-pear · 1 year ago
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got around to fully coloring two of the requests yippee‼️
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lunas-side-anime-blog · 11 months ago
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AOT Icks (Eren, Armin and Mikasa)
one thing about me: i am a hater
Eren
def has mommy issues and no woman could ever compare to her like good luck to any of his girlfriends lmao
^^ that being said, as a roommate he’s a nightmare like you can tell his mom cleaned up after him all the time because it doesn’t even occur to him to do so now
toxic gym bro who says shit like “we all have the same 24 hours”
def has the the 3 in 1 bottle in his shower, I just know it
prob calls women “females” 
the cringiest instagram captions like I know he will post sum: “I think my closet bi-polar, it keeps throwing fits💯”  like dude, get a grip
attempts thirst traps, he has a ripped body so it kinda works but the content is so transparent you can’t help but roll your eyes
go out to a bar with him or something and he’s the type to try to make everything a fight
like if someone bumps into you, he's quickly in their face like "what's good bro😡” and you know its not actually about you so much as eren tryna beat someone up
i think he’ll use spit as lube thinking he’s so bad boy and lewd when it’s actually just so bad for your PH like ewwww (if u have a vag ofc)
i feel like his hair would get so greasy, mikasa and armin have had to force him down with shampoo in hand before 
so gross but you came here for icks and I don’t believe Eren believes in holding back his farts for anyone
it can be the most intense and serious event like a funeral and he’ll rip a loud one and be like “what? it’s not good to hold it in??”
Armin
nail biter who will chew on them till the bone and you hear that loud ass “crONCh"
says he hates drama but that’s just something he says to not seem petty bc at the first sight of a fight best believe he’s sitting there, watching it all go down, wine glass in hand like "🍷🤨👂" 
lil shit will even add lil comments to keep the beef alive, like i can see him loudly asking “okay but jean didn't you say her outfit made her look fat though?”
if you're in a debate with him, he’s the type to say something like “you're so uneducated about the subject, I’m actually pretty well versed in it” and your like "okay so what's all ur research then?" and he'll just quickly change the subject bc he didn’t actually have sources to cite lmao
is one of those bfs who would make fun of you for liking trashy tv but guess who eats that shit up everytime? armin.
he does that dad thing where he walks around in the living room and acts uninterested with what’s happening on the screen but he’s actually so invested and would be fuming if you dared watched an episode without him 
i think he’d also be the type to try to be friends with his ex even if they obviously still have feelings for him, but if you dared even talk to yours he’d get all huffy and puffy like “go be with him then🙄” 
got obsessed with skincare after watching your routine but u kinda created a monster bc now he’s critiquing your products and techniques? “Babe you should really consider a gel moisturizer, it’s better for your pores'' and you're like, “boy you used neutrogena when I met you???” 
is that bf who will shower at your place and use up all your expensive washes and scrubs 
not the best gift giver tbh, I think he’s a firm believer that all gifts should be practical so even if it’s a romantic anniversary date and he slides over a lil present, it’s probably just gonna be socks or something, srry
Mikasa
applies her chapstick like a man (iykyk)
“he know where home is” bitch, I hate to say it
i think she’s a girl’s girl until her man cheats on her, then she’d be the type to fight the girl and not really address her man…which is just… 😣
as a friend I think she’s sadly the type to unintentionally embarrass you bc she doesn’t get some social cues.
like you can miss a hang and ppl ask where you are and she’d just say matter of factly “oh they’re fine, they just have diarrhea rn!” and she won’t understand why you’d be mad?
outfit repeater to the max, she has like three tops that she likes and all pics of her are with her wearing one of those three tops
a lil delulu and prob genuinely believes all the tiktok pick a card vids on her feed
likes her coffee black and somehow thinks she’s better than everyone for that???
as a gf she checks your snap score and location regularly and has no shame in it 🙂
fights in her sleep like you will just be sleeping next to her all soundly and next thing you know you get punched in the face? she refuses to apologize in the morning bc she “has a right to defend myself in a nightmare” or whatever
when shes mad at someone she’ll post like ultra specific lyrics or captions and it’s so obviously targeted at one person everyone else is like "girl go to bed, don’t even post the quote…"
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l4rkc0b41n · 2 months ago
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PLESSSSE give us some of ur headcannons for spooky month characters because I think it would be cool🤭🤭
OOOOO ok🔥🔥 (tw: u might have to read an entire essay for this one)
ok so idek where to start so ill just go with my favorite characters name and then a list
Roy:
• matured at a young age bc of childhood trauma, and he realized how fucked up the world actually was before he hit preteens
• he says "just wait for my growth spurt!" when someone says he's short
•HATES dogs
•brainrot WARRIOR!🔥
• looked like baby murder face from METALOCALYPSE as a toddler
Ross:
•grew up partly on the internet
• love hate relationship with going outside
• hairy mf
• WOULD have piercings ngl
• probably leaped across the chairs in class when the teacher was gone in elementary school
• germaphobe
Robert:
• sleeps with stuffed animals
• didn't wear deo until someone pointed out how he STANK (ouuu it stank..😣)
• probably watched gacha glmvs (it's a common event)
• brainrot WARRIOR🔥 #2
• prob likes hello kitty but denies it bc "that's gay"
• runs like a girl
• liked phonk (GET OUT)
Susie:
• cosplayer at one point in life
• also matured pretty fast bc of what she's been through
• she can read people like a book
• had or would have an emo phase
• HATES phonk
• likes kpop alot
• hates art class because art teachers are allergic to art styles
• took honer choir once in the 6th grade and never did again
• probably owns a guitar but doesn't play it alot
• had a phase where she drank water and only chewed on gum for a week or so
i got lazy and I can't do anymore but I might update it
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sillyhahasilly · 18 days ago
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HC REQQQQQ
cal's date ideas w his girlfriend, or how he would react while being in a fight with her
I will do my best anon 🫡 (also I've used gender neutral language, but I did think of these as him dating a girl.)
dates!!
hate to say it but I don't think cal would be the bestttt at this. he would try, but he would be the type to no show or blow u off to from what u understand to hang w andre (they ARE hanging but also planning mass murder). he would not put u before zd lol.
BUUUTT
I feel like first date would be the movies. prob horror? but if u didn't like horror yall would see smth else, but he would prob be obv abt not liking it much. throughout the relationship he would continue to take u to the movies sometimes, but it's one of those things he is more likely to skip on (esp if it's smth he doesn't like)
u have to remember the mf doesn't drive. I hc him as being unemployed too. you would be picking him and he would be ur passenger princess 💔 he would also do the thing like "ahh shoot. I don't have money on me.. could you??" and you'd be paying. ok enough slander for him in this section.
"I know a spot" and he would take u to the woods but it's nice cause there are "cool rocks" or smth. and it would be nice!!! yall would hang out and talk. cal would have emotionally intimate talks w you, most of it half-truths, but sometimes u would get glimpses into who he really is. (after zd u would think back to some of the shit he said and wish u did more to make sure he was ok.) the stuff u would talk abt would mainly be suicidial ideation. I don't think he would get into homicidal stuff w u, or only under the guard of satire (like saying ugh I want to kill that guy, but u don't actually mean it. cal does.)
yall would smoke weed together all the time. esp at his ik a spots.
you wouldn't go on dates in busy places like theme parks or even museums. there is js so much this man wouldn't do I think. :/
but anyway ur dates mostly consist of going off somewhere by yourselves and chilling.
this depends if u calm hanging at home a date - but yall do that sometimes when cals house isn't busy. if his house is busy w his siblings you guys go to a empty park or woods (in walking distance if u don't drive)
fighting >:(
most of ur fights are abt him being distant or treating u like shit. bc he can rlly treat u like shit sometimes.
when u fight he acts like it's not a big deal, which can make u feel like ur overreacting, and if u voice that he doesn't deny it. not very great.
he doesn't have much of an emotional reaction to ur fights.
doesn't have a problem admitting he is wrong if pressed about it, but he doesn't fix the problem usually.
he tells u to calm down.
he is really good at cheering you up after fights, tho. he can always make u laugh and sometimes is able to change the entire course of the fight by js making u laugh.
he doesn't have a problem saying sorry.
but if u guys leave on a bad note and u decide to stop talking for a bit he will take a awhile to talk to I again if u don't fold first. not cuz of stubbornness he js doesn't do it
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genzsherlockholmes · 7 months ago
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🌠sapphoshards follow
why the fuck did we need to move to britain. i hate it here
🥀its-mari-bitch follow
welcome to hell! i said much the same thing when i moved
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🏉jhwatson follow
i h8 going 2 ikea but the highlight is prob my mum trying 2 pronounce products. ur not swedish its ok love
🚂cluelock follow
Didn't your mum say "Dskungelskjog" last time you went
🏉jhwatson follow
how do u rmbr that m8.
🚂cluelock follow
Have it saved
🌠sapphoshards follow
you cant just say that and then not show us the video smh my head
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🍆phatass follow
i get the argument about men changing in girls changing rooms and like hell yeah get em but can we also talk about how bloody weird it'd be to be changing next to a bloody girl.
🥀its-mari-bitch follow
the way you consistently have the worst takes on this site is astounding to me. no one fucking likes you philip.
🍆phatass follow
he/him using lesbian dont talk to me fucking weirdo
🥀its-mari-bitch follow
mhm and how does your girlfriend feel about this post? oh i'm sorry do i need to clarify which one
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⭐gracelestars follow
brother came home crying today bc someone took his gf. he's SEVEN.
🌠sapphoshards follow
😨
🔥fredweaslesleftsock follow
your brother has game 🤷🏼‍♀️
⭐gracelestars follow
NO.
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🏉jhwatson reblogged
👽tearsforqueers follow
rb if you still have your first binder (and put in the tags if you still use one)
#yep i do #not old enough to not need one
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🏉jhwatson follow
its-mari-bitch asked:
john yk what a binder is right
-
yea???
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thecraziness · 7 months ago
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why dont you like cherry? genuine question not hating
hiiiii nah ur good
i used to hate her tbh many moons ago 3 months ago, but i realized that honestly shes not that bad?
really, i think my issue comes down to the fact that even tho she did all that, she still wouldn;t say hi to pony in the halls. that, ngl, bugged me for a while.
i think shes pretty bad*ss for dumping her drink on dally, ngl. absoluter queen for sticking to her morals. and i admire her for at least saying hi to pony at the movie theater yk.
however. i am annoyed that she chose to hang out with them, most likely knowing that there would be consequences. she knew her bf was drunk, and rude, and be angry, but chose to ignore it.
i also get annoyed that she is very patronising to pony. maybe its just me, but shes very like "oh u dont understand cuz ur young and all" idk if that makes any sense
and again, while i admire her for being willing to talk to the greasers, i also am annoyed that she does that? it feels like shes a traitor, but she gets no consequences as far as i can tell. (this is more me being mad at unfairness than her ngl)
i prob shouldnt dislike her, and i def dont hate her. i do enjoy her chaaracter bc shes complex, and being here in teh outsiders fandom has def led me to not hate her. my feelings are complicated. im in the habit of disliking her, and its hard not to dislike her.
i also think that part of my dislike for cherry has to do w the fact that i read the outsiders when i was younger, and had more of a black-white mindset. in that time, cherry was cruel to pony and johnny, whcih made her bad. now, i can see that the characters are more nuanced, cherry and dally in particular. i didn't realize that before, and so i got into a sorta mindset of "cherry sucsks" and now its hard to escape that lol.
i think im due for a reread, and i'll prob change my mind again on cherry, but thats my thoughts on her at the moment. AGAIN I DONT HATE HER I THINK SHES VERY COMPLEX I JUST DONT LIKE HER BC SHES KINDA PATRONISING AND DID BAD THINGS
BUT SO DID DALLY SO IDK
if u ever wanna have a deeper convo just reblog this ill be happy to continue discussing
sorry this is so long
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mintymayo · 9 months ago
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my life is so cringe rn. i had like 4 seizures after starting lamotrigine for bipolar. which is also an anti seizure medicine. and is just straight not supposed to do that. it should not cause seizures. but i would have them right before i was supposed to take the lamotrigine, and correlated with dose changes/timing. but it was working so well i felt so good!! i didn't want to stop
so i went to the neurologist and he was like "u probs have an underlying seizure disorder. try taking it around the clock instead of just in the morning" and so i do that. and i have 2 more seizures.
and so i go back recently and showed him a video of me having one hes just like "yeah thats a really bad seizure. definitely not to be taken lightly. i have never seen anyone react like this to an anti seizure medicine before. we already did multiple eegs and other stuff, u gotta go to the epilipilogist" (specific epilepsy doc idk how to spell it). so i guess thats where im going next. all the way in may.
ill just stay on keppra. the worst medicine ever that makes me more depressed than when i started and destroys my appetite. while weaning off the medicine that made me feel really great and motivated. in my first semester of college where im already struggling with an accelerated class that has a final in literally 2 days.
this is so cringe tbh.
side note: ambulatory eegs are SO ASS they put glue on your fucking head in ur hair and then don't even remove it all and im STILL finding tiny glue pieces in my hair. it's been like 2 weeks dude stop.
side note 2: there's so much medical shit i hate doctors. my mom got permanently ill, lost her job, our house (main breadwinner) and has energy, confusion and speaking problems after taking something that will not be named for legal reasons. NOBODY believed her ever so she has just slowly recovered some over time (enough to work again and stuff) but without any help from doctors.
i can't even get a fucking root canal done correctly.
which is obvs nothing compared to that but still. i specifically say "hey, my mom had really deep really complicated roots. please make sure to be really thorough." and they were like "sure"! anyway i didn't get a crown put on immediately because i had a gut feeling they fucked it up. guess who can still feel in that tooth. it doesn't hurt much but still. i even told the dentist and he was like "well theres no pain. we classify this as a successful root canal :)" like dude.
AND THEN I've had so much shit going on w the seizures that i haven't been to the dentist and now the tooth about the root canal one is getting a cavity probably bc the sharp edges of the root canal tooth is right below it piercing it. luckily it doesn't hurt (no idea why) but like oh my godd
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bonesandthebees · 1 year ago
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GODDDHFJSKAJDJFKFKJSKFKFJFJF I FINISHEDDD I'll probs do a reread and do a proper review bc I didn't get a chance to write down my thoughts while reading through the first time but eueuudufvjjsjdd I'm so emotional that was the perfect fucking ending for glass bee oh my gosh :(( 🫶🫶🫶
They mean sm to me I feel so ougohuhohigihoh
I love your fics so much man they're genuinely so incredible and I think they're the most unique this fandom has ever seen. Like glass and stars are both sooo<333 the world building?? The plot and conflicts?? Idk it's just crazy to me that we get to read this shit for free it's fuckign professional level writing bee. Thank you so so much for sharing it with us 🫶🫶🫶 I'm so lucky that it's a part of my life bc it genuinely is one of my fav things in it
You have a way of making me feel satisfied when I read your fic endings. Like. I hate it when stuff ends shfjfkf it's a problem of mine. I normally like will refuse to read/watch an ending bc I don't want it to end and also a lot of times??? I will just. Not like the ending. Either bc it's shit or the fact that it is an ending, but with your fics?? They've always been fucking amazing. I mean shfjgkf it def helps that there's another fic ur writing that I can read after this one's over, but for the actual ending part?? You write it so well man. It always ties up everything super nicely but not in like?? An unrealistic way where ur like "well that's just Too convenient". Like there's still enough of a question where the readers can leave it up to interpretation and come up with their own ideas, but all the major plot points are resolved and they all come together so nicely too?? And the last line is Always a banger. Ur so cool bee. Whenever I read the end of ur fic, I will literally smile bc im just like "aw man that's perfect" I SMILE!!! THAT'S CRAZY FOR ME NORMALLY IM SAD ITS OVER but with ur writing it's just like "damn holy shit that was perfect" rahhhssss I fucking love your writing Bee so so much
God and just... Glass is such a unique story too. Like ?? Cyberpunk religious trauma story?? Literally nothing I'd ever consume. I'm not the biggest fan of cyberpunk (I don't dislike it it's just not my preferred stuff to read) and as an agonistic person with religious trauma I normally avoid reading anything to do with religion LMAOODOFJFK (tho I've actually been trying to be more openminded and learn about all the diff types of religions and stuff) so I honestly was like "huh not sure what to expect from this fic but. It's bee so" And LORD I fucking??? Loved this fic??? So much??? Like I got so invested and I honestly really enjoyed the religious aspects of it a lot. It was such a fascinating topic like philosophy wise man. And oughhhfsjfk the way you used Wilbur vs Pronouns vs Pythia was genius. Like. That's such a creative tool to use?? Makes me appreciate writing sm. U just can't get this stuff in visual forms like tv/movies. It's just really neat seeing all the ways u play around with writing. It's super cool and impressive
Whenever I read ur writing it makes me feel like a smarter person tbh like. Just the way I turn my brain on to digest what you've written it's SOOO nice
And I am especially excited for rose bc I feel like my brain is gonna go haywire in that one too ehehehe also look at me go, finally reading a mcd fic (no literally bee. I haven't even read Passerine bc it's major character death. But I'm reading it for u. ^-^)
LORDDDFJFJ okay I gotta go do my french quiz now . And then I'll read rose ch2 BUT JUSR !!!!!!! UR AMAZING BEE !!!!! LOVE U AND UR WRITING SM !!!! TY FOR BEING EPIC ❤️❤️❤️🫶🫶🫶
awww thank you icy <3 this is so kind. I just love writing and always have, and it means so much that I have a supportive audience like you guys who are willing to read my silly stories
I'm so glad you like my endings. I always try to end my stories in just the right spot, when it feels like everything that needs to be said has been said while still leaving things open for the readers to imagine what comes next. I don't have super specific criteria for my endings, I just go with my gut on what feels right and it's worked out pretty well so far.
it makes me so happy that you took a chance on the kind of story you'd never normally read just because it was mine. I knew glass was a pretty unique concept because you don't usually see cyberpunk combined with those kinds of themes, so I was definitely a bit worried how many people would tune in for it. but I was so happy to find out that so many of you guys were willing to check it out because it was mine. like that seriously means so much to me to hear. I had such a fun time exploring those themes and emotions.
when I decided to do the pythia vs wilbur narration thing it felt like I was taking a huge risk. I was very worried that it would turn a lot of readers off to the story, but when I thought about the impact it could have as a format choice I knew I had to do it even if I lost some readers because of it. I really love experimenting with my writing and trying out new things, and as I'm sure you've noticed by now I have a particular affection for themes surrounding names and the power they hold. so it just felt like such a perfect way of diving into themes surrounding names while also getting a chance to experiment with format in a way I hadn't done before. I'm so glad it paid off well.
it means a lot that you're going to stick with under the hanging rose when you don't normally read MCD. I can't promise you won't be sad, but I can promise the MCD I have planned isn't going to be cheap or just angst fodder. it'll be narratively satisfying (or unsatisfying but in an intentional way lol)
thank you for all the love you give me icy this made me so happy to read <3 so glad you enjoyed
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junseotual · 2 years ago
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the wees :3c
my meoweks!!!!!!!! here u go thank u for asking <3 i gib u kith
we of the eyes ((tilts head) we eye)
first bias: yongha/donghan(/daehyeon)
current bias: daehyeon/donghan
album ranking: identity: first sight > identity: action > identity: challenge = love pt.1: first love > love pt.2: passion > gift for you > youth
how i got into them: waited my whole life for donghan to come back + yongha was one of my wondernine biases + yohan was a guy that i did . like . in x1. n then oui ent was like hey :D we have a group now :D n i was like what. nd i went through the 5 stages of grief re:donghan's solo career. but i was like at least he's gonna do. Something. i guess. n then i saw that an ex-rainz guy was in the lineup too nd like i didn't know rainz' members on a like face-to-name basis but i did Like Rainz as a group (n i didn't even know hyeon was in oui??) . n turns out that i had heard his solo back in the day also. so i basically knew everyone except seokhwa (although? i prob knew he was brina's guy?). so i was vvvvvvvvv excited esp since i saw hui???? was making their title?!?! . nd so i set myself up bc i absolutely hated twilight . nd then a While. a While. after that. i somehow ended up listening to their mini n i was like wait ure telling me that all this time they had literally masterpieces like this hidden on this album?? the only bad song on there is twilight??? so i didnt give up on them after all n look at me now
which member would be my best friend: seokhwa or yohan!!!! or junseo but that's a bad idea
something i associate with them: pet influencers. donghan w labradors/golden retrievers. yohan w heelys, of course... RO!!!!!!! hyeon w rain in the summertime (the scent, the sound but also the overall. comfort. feeling). seokhwa w a few gg songs but they're [redacted] for now to avoid possible spoilers.
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aprivateplace7 · 3 days ago
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(Finally) doing Natlan act 3
:3 rambling incoming~
Wdym Citlali is "old"???? Is she like Faruzan? Bc no way she's a human & older than Xilonen...
I've been avoiding spoilers, but prob heard smt anyway... so I think its true that Ororon is being forced to work w/ the Fatui.
So... Xilonen knows Mavuika, and argues w/ her??? Like she's just a normal person... the way that ppl interact w/ each Archon is so interesting. Its easy to forget that they're gods sometimes...
Natlan... friends w/ the archon...
OH NO PAIMON. PAIMON SHE'S RIGHT BEHIND U!!!
Not Citlali calling out the "ancient loli" trope... as if Genshin itself doesn't do it allll the time :v like i don't mind the "just looks young" thing, but tbh still not a big fan of Nahida's design...
Ah yeah, ok that's what i thought.
Uh... Citlali is kinda... nicer than i thought. She was going to apologize for being late. Idk, she seemed rly tsundere b4.
Ahhh, its the social anxiety mistaken for arrogance.
...i still think she's rly pretty x3
In a dream huh? We have exp...
Since i'm just starting, i don't know anything about Ororon, but i have to say... His design kinda ugly. I hate the ripped jeans...
"Only in his 20s..." "kid"... ok how old is Citlali rly??? Like i'm 23 rn.
Ahhh, Hoyo is so mean ;^; why both her & Mavuika in the same patch...
Btw, my Archon quest team is Xiao, Traveler (Lumine), Kachina & Furina :3
Ahhhh... i kinda don't wanna do this rn :/ but i need to write smt on this for tomorrow. Its hard to focus. I'm tired... college is kinda kicking my ass rn.
UM. Citlali? Can we heard ur thoughts...?
No, REALLY? Paimon...
Wait a min... is the Ororon "grandma" i heard about Citlali?!?
Omg 🤦‍♀️
Um... maybe we should like *tell* Citlali that we can hear her thoughts...? Like this feels weird...
Um, maybe its just bc i'm late, but how long has Ororon been missing? Like how is all this evidence still here...
"You little brat!" XD i kinda love that... i guess she is kinda tsundere.
Oh, Paimon is making sense. I didn't rly think about it, but both Traveler & Paimon r very weird... we have weird stuff happen to us all the time :v
THE NIGHT KINGDOM??? Ok quest is gonna pop off now...
...i do like Ororon's eyes tho. Genshin has very pretty eyes, i like the heterochromia thing. Lol.
Betrayal???
Idc about Childe, or the House of the Heart ppl... i still don't like or trust the Fatui organization.
Ahhh i feel so bad. I love Genshin, but i'd rather be playing like AC rn...
Idk what's going on, but Ororon working w/ the Fatui isn't beating the "edgy teen" allegations...
Yeah, i fon't trust the Fatui but i think its best to just wait & find out as much as we can.
"Like the wind and the clouds, we either move as one or not at all"- that's a cool quote!
💀💀💀
NOT THE REVERSE 100 YR OLD LOLI 💀💀💀
Oh, Ororon has eye bags. Like me.
Him protecting his "granny" is what i expected... but now idk what to think.
Pink hair and blue eyes... cotton candy queen <3
Oh ok. Makes sense, we tell Paimon like everything. Would be hard to sneak off w/out her.
"Sounds innocent but is doing shady stuff behind ppls backs"...
Capitano wants to avoid "clashing" w/ is? Why, scared to lose, bitch?
The "cost" for using the gnosis... i wonder what it is?
Is he like Arlecchino? He cares about, his(?) Nation, but it puts him in conflict w/ the Archon? I mean it turned out that Furina saved the day & Arle did like nothing in the end...
XDDDD GET WRECKED, GO GRANNY!
This is actually rly upsetting... like Citlali rly believed in Ororon :( maybe he's still being mislead by Capitano? He thinks he's right, but i kinda doubt it... the Fatui keep getting what they want, but they've never been in the right. All they've done is cause problems.
His voice? I'm playing w/ Cn voice, i fon't heard anything diff... oh.
Dude he rly is a brat, & not in a fun way :/
Citlali! Violence! XD
I still don't get the "old" thing but... aw Citlali. :( wdym useless?
Girly pop drinking to forget... or maybe so she can talk about that "duty" thing of Ororon?
Lol, they've gotten better at the "meme" faces.
This is a little sad...
I'm sure what she was saying is important but... mannnn is she drunk :/
Oh... i actually feel rly sorry for Citlali :/ she seems to be having a hard time... tho i still have no idea what's going on.
Yeah, i don't think we'd be very phased by getting trauma dumped on by someone we literally just met by this point... it happens to us a lot actually.
Huh so... its not just that Citlali hates ppl. She actually seems pretty lonely & upset...
Yes PLS. Still no idea what's going on here... explain someone pls!
"His soul is incomplete" ???
Human sacrifice? Genshin??? Huh???
SACRIFICING A BABY??? wtf...
"Probably" drank too much? Ma'am...
Idk guys, i don't rly have any thoughts. Just kinda confused... big set up quest i guess.
I say, right b4 shit happens :v
I like this. Srs ppl, just be direct. I hope that Mavuika will actually explain...
I see... i think i get it, to use the gnosis she'd have to sacrifice the souls of the dead. Idk... i can see how that could feel wrong. She considers souls "just another form of life"... idk how i feel about that. I feel like i'm not quite grasping the implications here...
Ohhh ok, spoke too soon :v erasing their history & culture... the memories... that makes more sense to me, i see why this would be the last resort.
And it might not even work
Mm, i see. She's not an "ends justify the means" kinda person... maybe, unlike Capitano she's also considering what could go wrong. As she said, its not a permanent solution anyway.
Oh yeah, i was just thinking- no, tribe has nothing to do w/ vision. Citlali & Ororon r 2 diff elements... idk, i guess Kachina & Xilonen just confused me. And also bc the rep 5*s for each tribe is a diff element...
Wait, why r we talking about Capitano??? I thought Mavuika told us to keep it a secret...? Do the plan TM ppl not count?
Ok yeah. Idk. I wasn't sure where Capitano was from... cause if he's no Natlanian, why does he care so much? But Natlanians can't just leave either so...
Fatui being morally grey again... but they want it to be a secret?
Why r they sneaking around? This isn't that many Fatui... as a player. Maybe they're worried that the Fatui will try to hide what they're doing if they're caught?
U know... what does it even mean that Ororon's soul is "fragmented"? Esp since he was born like that...
Ororon's memories...
Citlali said she's done making excuses for Ororon, that he's an adult, but it still seems like she's blaming herself for him working w/ the Fatui. I can't quite see it. Idk. I don't think that Ororon is like evil but still...
Ororon talks to inanimate objects, just like me lol.
Ok i know that Genshin has powers & gods n stuff, but its still weird to hear them call things "spells". Like... Genshin is fantasy, but not quite that kind right? ...altho, just as i type this i remember that Lisa is straight up called a mage. So.
So... Ororon helped Capitano bc he wanted more info? He wasn't in cahoots until after his & Mavuika's fight.
Oh, no. Its kinda as Mavuika said... i think. Her keeping secrets is leading to doubts.
I feel like that hardly answered any questions at all...
As she should be.
Ok... ends w/ going to tell Mavuika what we learned... yeah this was def a set up quest. It was rly slow... idk maybe it was my fault, but i was rly bored & had a hard time paying attention the whole time. I've been here... for many hrs now. Like idk, maybe since 10:30 & now its about 1:30...
I don't rly have any thoughts. Capitano is weird. Its not the same as Arlecchino, he's not Natlanian so why does he care? Ororon & Citlali aren't exactly what i thought they'd be... actually, i'm surprised how little Xilonen was in here. It was almost all about Ororon & Citlali.
I have heard things... appearently it goes DOWN in act 4. So i'm kinda anxious to see what happens... but idk. My tv is raised from my couch, so my neck is hurting :(
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tyonfs · 11 months ago
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okay my updates r gonna have to be split in like chronological order bc this is just too much for one ANYWAYS. let’s start with new york.
so as we know i used to live in new york and i have a couple childhood friends who live there. my one friend who’s a girl we were inseparable and at first i was scared to meet her when we went but oh boy do i DESPISE HER. she’s such a pick me and she likes to act so fucking different. her humor is like 2020 AND SHE DRESSES LIKE IT TOO.
one thing about me is i’m a family girl and for some reason my mom was like oh let’s take to the cemetery with us to see your grandparents and i’m like??? anyways when we went and we were there praying i noticed she kept looking around and trying not to laugh and my mom sent me and her to the car she literally was like why r u so serious they’ve been dead 12 years like wow! just wow!
enough of that girl i’m already getting mad.
let’s talk about the one who’s a boy… oh boy. his name is arsal and oh my god when i saw him in new jersey it’s like i swept off my feet back to when we were kids. when i first got to his house he didn’t say much besides hi and how are you and when our parents forced to go on that walk oh my god. alice i swear i can count to you everytime he looked down at me as i talked and everytime our hands brushed and flinched away. we caught up with school and our lives.
then he said what i was so scared of hearing. he talked about the time we were kids and he had the fattest crush on me and the way he looked at me was like i was the only girl in the entire world. after said incident as i left his house his instagram popped up on my thing and i followed him. HE FOLLOWED RIGHR BACK.
after this we saw each other in the city when our families planned to get together. we went on a ferry ride and i got seasick but so did he and everyone was doting on him but he was like “but she’s sick too!” and while we walked he deliberately stopped WAITED FOR ME then started walking with me and matching my steps. and when we were gonna go on the double decker buses he wanted to sit next to me but i was sitting with that horrible terrible friend and he was like oh no biggie and sat across from us and i could feel his eyes burning into my head all the time like the view was gorgeous and he was looking only at me.
and you’ll never guess it. right as i land back in texas all this energy just stops. from 100 - 0. the little times we talked in dms was just so dry and terrible and it doesn’t make sense to me so honestly i’ve just stopped trying. i haven’t texted him in over a month so i’d say that’s going okay.
and briefly let’s talk about cam bc ohhhhhhhh man. basically he transferred schools bc he got capped at ut and so he moved to austin which doesn’t bother me bc after new york i was like i rlly don’t wanna commit to him but we talk from time to time and recently we talked on ft and oh my god it was bad. i was complaining abt classes and stuff as one does and he literally says “yeah.. ur so beautiful i wanna kiss u rn” DAWGGGGG 😭😭😭😭😭 i hate guys like that so bad like that was just my breaking point and i haven’t talked to him since.
but in the next update i’ll talk about school and stuff bc ohbmy god so much is going on.
i know some of ur followers r probs like who is this insane chick with an insane life liek trust me i hate it too. - 🎀
seated for the lore ☕️
oh no i am not liking this girl already :// who says that about someone's grandparents at a GRAVEYARD?? 😭 that's so messed up, im so sorry she said that love :(
OHHH THATS A CHILDHOOD FRIENDS TO LOVERS WAITING TO HAPPEN 🤭🤭 and he admitted he liked you as a kid so??? feel like that entails that he would be interested in something happening in the future 🤭 but why is the friend cockblocking im so 🫥
BUT NOOOO WHAT :( he didn't reciprocate the energy after you moved back ?? that's .. if he's still ghosting i feel like i wouldn't want to waste any more energy on him 😪 some guys are soo..... also cam??? ew why does he sound so shallow there 😭 listen to a girl when she wants to rant !!! but as you should 🤝
HAHAHA dw im sure they're nodding along with the responses 🫂
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sungbeam · 4 months ago
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CAT BELOVED thank u for reading this 😭😭 ik i said not to tear her to shreds in our texts but it's cuz ik that u literally just beta'd the ateez wip and that one is worlds better written than this one (i think, at least) and also i respect ur literary judgment very much skcnkenf but anyways, i sooo super enjoyed reading ur reaction to this like truly ,, a master reviewer right here 🙇🏻‍♀️🙇🏻‍♀️
YES that opening is like one of my favorite things abt this fic (besides ,, uhm demon changmin ahem), like i wrote that opening and then proceeded to not touch this fic for another like two months cuz i didn't know how to follow it 💀
THE MEOWING NEEDS TO STOP.
the introspection w how yn stalls in opening the lockbox......... maybe there is meaning imbued in every little action ............
SO GLAD U FUCK W THE PLOT !!!! i love mystery suspense thriller things,, they tickle my brain and tho i don't consume horror media, i feel like i would enjoy writing it way too much (or at least,, thrillers?) and PLS changmin really is just so sus in the opening chapters im pressing my fingers together and placing them against my mouth ,,
okay i do have to comment on ur thing abt making sena's death present and important bc that's IT 😭 like i feel like grief and dysfunctional families will always be a theme in my writing, but Thank You for getting it 😭 yns beloved older sister who died under strange circumstances, and in death, only then do her secrets begin to reveal themselves and it's red flags all the way down, Exactly.
im literally gonna say toaster in bathtub from now on
yeah,,, my best friend is like obsessed w perfume and she was telling me how perfumes smell different on each person and i was like oh 💔 oops💔
im glad u like yn as a character, i think i truly channeled my "jacob divorce/changmin homewrecker" era self to add spice (on another more relevant note, strangers 2 reluctant allies 2 sorta friends 2 lovers is so yummy)
action scenes, my love-hate toxic lover who sometimes works and other times sounds like a raccoon set on fire 🙏 happy that it was the former
uR SO RIGHT ABT THE ANYA INELEGANT SnOT I LAUGHED ALOUD I THINK MY ROOMMATE OFFICIALLY KNOWS IM CRAZY
nevermind just snotted everywhere rereading the New dog in town line BANGER LINE my humor is broken
pls leave that's MY magical demon spit actually.....
dont abt my chicken tenders,,, 💔💔 also i just snorted at the seattlecore line bc i low-key high-key had the pnw in mind while writing this fic LMFAOOOO
okay,,, abt the wolves,, i can Explain... Sorry changmin i had to make them upstanding citizens and protector of women...............
abt the pendant fidgeting: i literally thought of it mainly as like ,, a nervous tick yk cuz it's just something i do when im fidgeting like i play w my necklace. but at the same time, that action suggests that there is something comforting abt the necklace as an item. like atp, yns prob gotten semi used to the echoed heartbeat, and it's like a reminder of her being alive, as well as a reminder of the last thing sena gave her (besides this Mess) and she can carry it around with her all the time..?
OKOK REACHING UR CONCLUDING THOUGHTS and thank u thank u thank u again for reading 😭😭 and really a compliment on my pacing and imagery makes me twirl and giggle every time, like,,, validation :'))) and im very excited to see/hear/read ur thoughts on part two if u get to it (obvi no pressure ofc cuz ik these reviews take up a lot of ur time 😭) !!
I LOVE U MWAH MWAH I APPRECIATE U 💖
𝐍𝐈𝐆𝐇𝐓 𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐑𝐎𝐑𝐒 — part one (i – vii)
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nonidol!ji changmin x f!reader
your sister's dead, but apparently that's not the most shocking news. maybe she wasn't killed on accident, maybe ji changmin isn't really human, and maybe the monsters were never under the bed but all around you...
▷ genre, warnings. strangers 2 reluctant allies/friends 2 lovers, slow burn, demon/supernatural creatures au, angst, action, murder mystery-ish au, forced proximity trope, suspense, gore, depictions of violence and blood, themes of death and grief, use/description of weaponry, swearing, a slightly unreliable narrator bc she has no idea what's happening, reader's sister is dead, mentions of stalking, humor bc coping mechanisms, reader has hair long enough to braid sorry, blood drinking, the barest of proofreading and editing done...
▷ part word count. 22.3k words / 47.4k - read part two here
▷ associated songs. teeth (5sos), wet nightmare (bibi)
a/n: i tried to make it scary I SWEAR but changmin brings the clown out of me 🤥 anyways i ripped a chunk of my heart out and im serving it to you bloodied on a gold platter, i hope u love her :') read the warnings ofc and lmk your thoughts <3 also i completely gave up on wrestling w blr so im dropping it in two parts, but both of them at once 🤣 pray for me.
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#1—NEXT OF KIN.
THEY TOLD YOU YOUR SISTER'S DEATH WAS AN ACCIDENT, they being the authorities who had shown up at the front door of your apartment with their caps in hand, solemn faces pressed into lines that you could not read between. The world had fallen out from beneath your feet like someone had just yanked the carpet out, and you hadn't yet stopped falling.
The funeral was set on the rolling green hills of Elysium Memorial Park, the cemetery where your parents were buried, where your grandparents were buried, and now, where your sister joined them six feet under. Generations ago, your grandparents had purchased plots for themselves and their future family members while the land was cheap. When it came for your time to leave this mortal coil behind, you too would join them in the dirt of Elysium. It almost seemed right that the sky had opened up to reveal a blindingly hot sun, not a cloud to be seen in the sky. Perhaps the sky would not weep for your sister, but celebrate her life instead.
But while the heavens above would shed nary a tear, you could make up for that loss yourself. Having little to no living relatives left, you had been expected to take responsibility for all the arrangements, all while grieving, all while studying, all while trying to not fall apart some more. You were holding it together by the zipper of your dress pants and the caffeine from your coffee. You couldn't stop crying for the entire service, the forced silence of your cries balanced by the violent tremors in your shoulders.
Your sister Sena's patch in the land was now marked by a heaping pile of dirt. She had a lot of friends—most of whom gathered behind you and had thrown their flowers upon the dirt hill. You had a few distant relatives as well who you'd managed to remember (somehow) amongst all the madness. A couple of them were able to fly out for the event, but most had to decline.
When you heard your name being called, you drew your blazer sleeve over your eyes in a futile attempt to dry them.
Walking towards you now was a couple, middle-aged, dressed in black from head to toe, not far from how you looked right now. You knew them from about a week ago when they had sought you out after the news of your sister's death spread.
You hadn't the heart to sue them when they confessed who they were. It's our fault, they told you in the quiet of the hallway outside your apartment, we're so sorry. We understand if you'd like to press charges.
Sena was a victim of an automobile accident. You didn't know the entire story—was too tired for the whole story—just shocked she was even in the country. She was supposed to be across the world for a study abroad program, but why was she discovered on the side of the road, a few towns over, inebriated and dead? She became nothing more than roadkill and a statistic in death, and maybe that was why you were so bitter.
"Yn, it was a beautiful ceremony," said the woman—Julia, she had introduced herself as that week ago. Her nose was reddened from the friction of tissue paper, her eyes damp and glittering in the sunlight. "I'm sorry you—that you have to deal with all the pomp and circumstance."
"We know you deserve your time alone," joined her husband, Carter. He tucked his hands into his pockets, mustering up a smile for your sake, but you could still see the guilt flooding his eyes with water. "We just wanted to say thank you for letting us come and pay our respects."
And for not pressing charges. But you dashed that thought away. That was the bitterness talking, but these were good people. They had come forward and been honest, and it wasn't their fault Sena was drunk. (Why in the world was she drunk and here and why didn't she tell you the truth—?)
"Thank you for coming," you replied, "I wasn't sure if you would take me up on the offer, to be honest."
You wrapped up conversation with the couple and watched them depart across the grassy hills toward their car. Your eyes surveyed the last bits of the lingering crowd for familiar faces—anyone at all. But all you found were strangers.
These were all Sena's friends, after all. She had always been the more adventurous of the two of you.
You sighed and resigned yourself to start looking for the funeral coordinator to discuss payment and the like. Though the event was over the worst was just beginning. There was so much to do, and so little energy left to perform them.
But as you began trudging through the plush grass toward the far end of the plot, you noticed a man standing beneath the shade of a nearby oak tree. He wore typical funeral attire—the black dress shirt, pants, shoes, and even a pair of rectangular shades to cover his eyes. Like many of the others, you didn't recognize him—at first.
And then he shifted, lenses of his glasses reflecting sunlight and you could just barely put together the puzzle of his face and his identity. Ji Changmin.
What was he doing here?
They were friends, too, Yn, you reminded yourself. Yet, you weren't sure why you were so surprised he was here. Maybe it was because you never remembered extending the invitation to him (but someone could have spread the news by word of mouth). Maybe it was because several months had passed since you last saw him. Maybe it was because you always thought there was something… strange about him (but that could have been your bias; there was always this thing about him that irked you). Either way, you never had anything to say to him before, and that had yet to change even in light of your sister's death.
The two of you stared each other down, and for a moment, you believed he was going to walk over to you.
But instead, he pushed off the tree trunk and made his way toward the trickle of funeral goers up the hill, leaving you to wonder after him.
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The next time you saw Ji Changmin was a week after the will reading.
Because you were Sena's next of kin, you were contacted by your shared attorney about Sena's will. Apparently, she had a will. After all these years, you couldn't even fathom the idea of needing one so early, but for some reason, she had. (Maybe that worried you a little more.)
The strangest thing was that your attorney had delivered to you a flat lockbox made of steel and secured with an old fashioned lock and key. Along with the stash of money in her savings account (where the Hell had all of that come from anyway?), Sena also gave you that. Whatever it was.
You had yet to open it when you bumped into Changmin on your way out of your college's academic counseling center. With recent events, your departmental advisor called you in to discuss your academic plans for the foreseeable future.
You can take as long as you like, Yn, she'd said to you. You're already ahead of schedule to graduate anyways. But that wasn't the point was it?—
"Oh." You stopped short as you rounded the corner and nearly crashed into something. "Sorry," you said before you even recognized him.
A pair of dark, feline eyes looked you up and down. "Yn, right?" Changmin drawled. A pair of white wired earbuds hung from his ears and his shoulders were fitted with a dark colored bomber jacket that was familiar to you. You'd seen it draped over the back of one of your kitchen chairs once when Sena had him over for a project.
Your eyes shuttered. "Yeah. Changmin?"
His nod was barely there. He cocked his head to the side in a way that felt like he was trying to gaze into your soul. "I'm—I'm sorry for your loss," he said, grappling for the right words. "Sena was a good friend."
"I didn't realize the two of you were so close," you told him. This was probably the most he'd ever said to your face, and you to him.
Changmin gave a small shrug. "We worked closely together, so it was kind of inevitable. How are you doing?"
You didn't think the conversation would last this long. "Oh, uhm, I'm fine." You inwardly knocked yourself over the head. He's probably just trying to be nice, Yn. "I mean—" you amended, "—I'm doing as well as you can imagine, I guess. Just lots of legal stuff and…" Her room. Cleaning out her room. Opening the lockbox. Reading her last will and testament for the fiftieth time.
When you didn't finish your sentence right away, he nodded again, shuffling on the balls of his feet. Was he feeling as awkward as you were? "I get that. Hey, if you—y'know, like, need anything—"
"You don't have to do that."
"What about coffee? Just… to talk."
Coffee? You considered him for a second. Before, you nor he had ever given any indication to the other that you acknowledged the other's presence. In fact, you confessed to Sena once that he intimidated you, even if he was just sitting there in your shared living room while pouring over JSTOR academic essays.
He was patient, you realized. Then you relented. "Okay. When's good for you?"
You thought you saw a glimmer of relief in his eyes, but that could have just been the afternoon sunlight. "Now?"
Your eyes widened a smidge, and you coughed. "Uhm now? I—I have class…?" You didn't, but the curve ball that was an impromptu coffee session with Ji Changmin wasn't something you needed right now.
His eyebrow lifted as if he didn't believe you. "Okay," he dragged out. "Tomorrow morning?" He offered as a counter.
Your brain did cartwheels in an attempt to figure out if you would have the willpower to do that. "Okay," you said. Better to get this out of the way, right?
"Do you know that one place on Magnolia?"
"The one across from the Eight Ball?" You perked up in recognition. You and Sena used to go all the time. The two of you liked to say that Magnolia was her street because it housed all her favorite places; just the thought of taking a stroll down it made your eyes water. "Yeah, Sena and I used to go all the time."
Changmin paused, his mouth opening, then closing.
You guessed what he was thinking. "It's fine if we go. I'm not gonna like, burst into tears or anything," you chuckled awkwardly, clearing your throat when excess tear fluid made you congested.
His lips pursed, impressing a dimple into his cheek. "Okay, only if you're sure."
"Yeah, I'm sure." It seemed that everything you said to people was something like a lie nowadays.
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It was late when you finally faced the lockbox.
The box was an unassuming hunk of metal, flat and slim and no bigger than a standard piece of paper. You warmed the key in your palm until it was hot to the touch and made your skin redden. The sky outside your apartment window had darkened to a blot of ink, the white shutters drawn shut to create a white paneled shield. You just finished up a very lazy dinner, washed up, and decided to confront the last thing on Sena's will.
The lockbox in the bank under my name goes to my sister, Yn Ln. She is the only one allowed access to it until she opens it; what she decides to do with the contents is her choice.
There must have been something important inside it, you reasoned, otherwise it wouldn't have been a part of the will and it wouldn't be under lock and a single key.
"What is this, Sena?" You asked aloud, venturing to twist the lock open with the key. The locking mechanism gave way, and you set the lock and key aside. The shorter end could slide open like a hidden door, and you peered into the dark depths, almost afraid of what you might find between its jaws.
You could make out the silhouettes of shapes at the bottom, the soft-cornered texture of a wad of bills. You reached in.
One of the things she had left for you in her will was all of the money in her savings account. It had shocked you to see the number—you always thought her only job was at the library, but clearly, she was not just on a librarian's salary.
Pulling out a stack of cash from the box was yet another thing that helped solidify in your mind that something was off. The confusion settled first, and then the betrayal. Had she not trusted you with this knowledge while she was alive? You were the one going into accounting and finance, and yet, she hid all of this money from you? Was she afraid of something? Afraid of judgment, of the law?
You tossed the twenties onto the table. The note slipped between the rubber band and the first piece read something along the lines of 'in case of emergency.'
You made a plunge into the box again. This time, you pulled out the last two things at the bottom, a standard white index card and a small, fabric pouch. The card displayed Sena's familiar scrawl:
You're probably wondering what any of this is, but if you're reading this, it means that something's gone wrong—like really wrong. The necklace in the pouch is super important. DON'T TAKE IT OFF. Don't let anyone touch it before you do. Don't trust anyone. This is really important to me, Yn. Please be safe; I love you.
x, sena.
Please be safe? Safe from who or what?
You held the note in your hand for a moment and couldn't believe this would be the last thing you received from her. It would be a tangible legacy, in a way, and you weren't sure how to feel about that. You moved the note to the table and turned your attention to the pouch.
You carefully tugged it open. She said it was a necklace, right?
"Oh," you voiced aloud while fishing out a thin, silver chain.
There was a pendant attached to the end with some heft to it. It was a deep, bloody red in the loose shape of a teardrop. There wasn't a sharp peak, but a slightly flat end on one side and a rounded end on the other. You would guess it was some kind of precious stone, but when you stared at it long enough, it looked like the color pulsed… like a heartbeat.
Your breath hitched.
Eyes narrowed, you held it up to the light by the chain. The vibrant red remained stagnant—perhaps you were just tired.
Don't let anyone touch it before you do. Don't take it off. Don't trust anyone.
Strange request about a necklace. For a moment, you wondered if your sister had indulged in some unsavory acts to achieve the numbers in her bank account and the previous stone in your hands. If you put this on, would you be counted as an accomplice to robbery?
"God, you just need to go to sleep, Yn," you muttered, swiftly clicking the chain into place around your neck. There was no way your sister would have anything to do with—
You froze.
From the other side of your shutters, you swore you heard the sound of shuffling. It wasn't unheard-of that the leaves and tree branches knocked against your second-floor window once in a while, but there hadn't been much wind as of late.
A chill spider-crawled up your spine as you strained your ears to hear more.
When you came up with nothing, you shoved the pendant under your shirt and cleaned up the lockbox. You had an early day tomorrow, after all; sleep was dire to face Changmin.
But as you crept into bed, you couldn't help but feel as if the stone on your sternum did have a heartbeat, and that something in the dark was watching you.
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#2—GHOSTS ONLY HAUNT.
YOU STEPPED FOOT ON MAGNOLIA STREET looking for signs of your sister.
The morning air was a little cooler as spring filtered into town, and it also meant that this street in particular would begin to swirl with baby pink petals from the trees of the street's namesake flowers. There weren't many people around on a Thursday morning, but the sun peered between the buildings to say hello, at least.
You were in good company.
"Hey."
"Holy shit—" you whipped around to find Changmin almost right behind you. Your heart stuttered against your ribcage, your hand flying to your sternum where the necklace was. You were still getting used to its presence.
He gave nothing away with his facial expression. Damn him.
"I didn't realize you'd be early," you breathed as you tried to get a grip on yourself. Did this guy just materialize out of thin air everywhere?
Tongue in cheek, he said, "Well, I couldn't really sleep, so I figured the morning air might freshen me up a bit. Shall we?" He gestured with his elbow and chin to the establishment to your right.
There sat the quaint, little coffee shop you'd both agreed on yesterday. This one was one of Sena's favorites. She always claimed that their blueberry scones were the best in the world.
When you didn't say anything for a little, he cleared his throat. "We don't have to, if you can't or don't want to."
You hadn't even realized you were being quiet. Thoughts had been muddled as of late. You cleared your throat and stumbled for the door. "No, we can go in."
Two cups of coffee arrived at your table seven minutes later in compostable cups and a pile of artificial sweetener packets and creamer. You straightened in your seat across from Changmin and began ripping open sweetener packets and wondering if you should have gotten something of substance to eat. (You had stared at the blueberry scones for a long minute before deciding that today was not the day you wanted to cry in front of someone, especially this someone in particular.)
Changmin moved his cup toward his side of the table but made no move to add sugar or cream, or to even drink it.
This place was so familiar to you that you knew exactly how many packets of cream and sweetener to mix in, and you gently blew a breath over the steam floating off the surface. When the liquid hit your tongue and your throat, its warmth enveloped your nerves in a warm embrace, assuring you everything was going to be okay. The emotion hit you like a freight train.
You pressed your thumb against the rear gland in your right eye and willed it away. "So uhm," you said, fanning your eyes gently as you attempted to pull yourself together in front of him, "what… what did you wanna talk about? If there was anything?"
He folded his arms over his chest while leaning back in his chair, and you thought you saw his gaze soften. "Why don't you take another sip?" His eyes went to the coffee. "It'll help."
You couldn't deny that suggestion, and you reached for your cup to take another small gulp. The breath you let out rattled.
This was a bad idea.
"Are you gonna be okay if I talk about Sena?"
You nursed the coffee cup in your hands and nodded slowly.
He eyed you for a moment, then relented. "Did she happen to leave anything that was marked for me? Before the—the accident, she said there was something she needed to tell me."
Something she needed to tell him? You racked your brain, eyes drilling into the wood grain of the coffee table between you two. The will hadn't mentioned anyone else but you. And all of the letters or notes from Sena that were given to you were all for you; the attorney would have handled the rest and mailed them off to anyone else she'd written something for.
You narrowed your eyes at him. "No, I can't think of anything. You say you were expecting something?"
The resolve in his eyes steeled over, and that little bit of softness you'd seen before disappeared as if it had never been there in the first place. You couldn't read him anymore. "Yes, I have her texts."
He fished out his phone from his pocket and you pursed your lips as he maneuvered to a screen of his and your sister's last messages to each other:
sena: i think i'm going back home soon, so i'll c u then changmin: okay that's fine changmin: wait ur still over there?? i thought u left already? sena: had to talk to someone abt the thing, but it was a dead end sena: just remind me that i have something to tell u changmin: what? sena: it'll be better if i said this in person
That was all Changmin let you see.
You leaned away from his phone, head reeling more from the fact that he knew she had been out of town and knew where she was and why she was there. Never mind the fact that apparently, Sena was holding onto important information for Changmin. You couldn't care less about that.
You supposed the texts were for him to prove to you he was telling you the truth. It wasn't like you weren't telling the truth either.
"Why was Sena out of town?" You asked him. "Did she ever go on any of those study abroad trips?"
Changmin paused, then something flickered in his eyes. "I think I showed you too much."
"I think you showed me too little."
"Yn, did she tell you anything about what she needed to tell me?"
You were going to push against him for your own agenda again, but the slight pressure in his tone made you think twice. There was something urgent in his words, his expression, his body language. You couldn't tell what it was, but something about this had to have been important.
Absentmindedly, your hand rubbed the area where the pendant sat on your chest beneath the collar of your shirt, and his eyes followed for a moment before flickering back up to your eyes. "No," you told him quietly. "She didn't tell me anything."
He must have believed you, because defeat shuddered across his face, and he said goodbye to leave. He didn't even take his coffee with him. Asshole.
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You told yourself it would be months before you could bring yourself to go through Sena's things, but after this morning's run-in with Changmin (because it wasn't even a session; you could hardly call it anything but a run-in because it lasted maybe ten minutes), you were determined to unlock her door and do some digging. Clearly, she was hiding more than her money and jewelry(?) from you.
Changmin… he completely ignored your questions confronting him about Sena's whereabouts and her purpose for traveling. You were getting more and more suspicious as to what your sister had been up to lately. Changmin had to be in on it, too, then. He had to be.
Sena's door took up your entire vision as you stood before it with the key in your hand.
You weren't entirely sure what you were expecting when you opened it, but it was as if she had never left. Everything was where she left it—plum-purple covers tucked beneath the mattress, vintage national park postcards hanging from fairy lights by wooden clothespins, jackets layered over the back of her desk chair. There was an empty mug on her desk with the remnants of a red lip tint on the edge, and you knew you weren't going to remember to take it out to the sink later.
The small shelf-nightstand hybrid next to her bed was filled to the brim with books and notebooks and magazines. You settled gingerly upon the edge of her bed, palms pressing against the comforter.
The room still smelled like your sister.
You took the small bottle of perfume on the nightstand and spritzed a little onto your wrist. You pressed it to your nose, letting the scent make your senses woozy. It wouldn't bring her back; it didn't smell exactly the same when it was on your skin.
You set the bottle back onto the nightstand, then lowered yourself to your knees to pull all of the books off the top shelf. You stuck your head into the empty cupboard—you weren't really sure what you were looking for.
All of the titles here were the normal things you remembered seeing her read: assorted mythologies, books on the occult and supernatural, her textbooks for anthropology and archeology. There were about a dozen and a half National Geographic magazines that you flipped through within the next two hours, as well, all of which turned up nothing of curiosity.
None of the bound books were notebooks of any kind.
You crawled over to her desk—rifled through those. Nothing. They were all school related and completely, utterly ordinary.
Disappointment weighed you down into her desk chair as you hit another dead end.
Was there nothing she could give you?
No, she's dead, you thought to yourself. You'd never known Sena to be a secretive person, especially with you—in fact, you were the quieter of the pair, and she always managed to coax the right things out of you.
Sometimes you had felt like the older sister because you handled so many of the logistics and practical things, but when the world became too scary, you could always count on running to her to feel safe again…
Safe.
Sena, were you ever safe? You were beginning to think not so much.
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"Do I need to file for a restraining order?"
It was getting ridiculous how many times you ran into Changmin in the past two weeks. It was outside the advising office, on your way to the store, in the hallway outside your finance lecture. And now, he loitered in the lobby of your apartment complex with a wired earbud in one ear and the other dangling freely.
He seemed to be unfazed by your remark as he peered over at you from beneath the brim of his cap. "What if I just live here?"
"But you don't," you huffed, coming to stop right in front of him. You had a feeling you would have definitely known if he moved into this building. "What do you want from me, Changmin? I'm not going to magically lead you to my sister's secret stash of whatever. I just want to get to class."
"Then go to class," he said simply. He gestured with the phone in his hand toward the door. "I'm not here for you."
You narrowed your eyes at him. Perhaps you were being a little silly, and this was just some weird trick your brain was playing on you to make you notice him more. "Answer me something."
"Only if you answer something for me."
"This isn't a negotiation."
"Worth a shot," he said with a sigh. "What shall I answer for you?"
"You and my sister weren't dating, were you?"
He must have choked on his own spit because he coughed, furiously thumping his chest. You would have laughed if this was any other circumstance, and if you and Changmin were friends (but you weren't). He shook his head at you. "No. Your sister wasn't interested in me like that and neither was I. We were strictly colleagues."
You cocked your head to the side. Colleagues… you let that marinate. "Okay, so did she have anyone she was seeing then? Just out of curiosity." A former lover you didn't know about would make sense, something like a Bonnie and Clyde situation maybe. Or perhaps you were chasing after ghosts to get a glimpse into the past.
"Someone I suspect, but I don't have their contact," he replied, mimicking your head tilt and narrowed eyes. "If you had her phone—"
"I don't."
"Ah, a shame then."
"Do you?"
"And why would I withhold such an important item from the next of kin?" He drawled.
Changmin suddenly jolted upright from the relaxed position he stood in. It was so abrupt, it gave your heart a start. "That's my cue."
You followed after him out the front doors. "What cue? Did you hear your microwave go off or something?"
You swore to God you saw his mouth curl up in amusement. But it might have been just your imagination. He yanked his other earbud out and lifted a hand in goodbye. "Something like that! See you around."
He disappeared around the corner before you could follow after him. Plus, you really did have a lecture to get to. (Wait, did he say that she was seeing someone—?)
You sighed, wondering if you should follow him… something in the back of your mind told you it would be safer not to.
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#3—MONSTERS AMONG MEN.
YOU SWORE JI CHANGMIN HAD TO BE a psychic with the amount of times he predicted your whereabouts. Every time you saw him in your vicinity, you and he shared either a verbal sparring match or stared one another down. He seemed amused by it; you were growing increasingly concerned, even if it was all just coincidence.
(There was this one time, on a Wednesday this past week, where you were the one who appeared at the anthropology department to see one of Sena's old professors. Changmin was there, as it was his major's headquarters, and shot you a curious glance. The meeting was innocent and an accident. No, you definitely weren't stalking him. Absolutely not.)
(It was interesting to consider whether both of you thought the other would lead you to something of Sena's. You were certain he knew more than he let on, and perhaps he thought the same of you… Shit, maybe you should invest in a taser.)
Additionally, the weird sounds around your apartment had increased. Sometimes when you walked around in the evenings, the hair on the back of your neck and your arms stood at attention, as if you could feel the gaze of someone or… something watching you. However, every time you turned to look, the crazier you were convinced you'd become.
It didn't help that the necklace Sena left for you kept mimicking your heart beat when you weren't paying attention. If you willed it to repeat the steady beat in the light so you could observe it up close, it would cease.
It was as if distance from your skin or touch left it without a heart to echo.
You were half certain you were losing your mind. It had to be all this stress and emotion overwhelming you.
Saturday morning, you decided to pick yourself up and go see your sister. The funeral home had called you earlier this week to say that her headstone was complete, so this would also serve as a trip to ensure everything was engraved correctly before it was placed over her grave. You dressed yourself up in a dark top and comfortable jeans, something you might be able to sit in on the grass as you lingered in her presence, even if she was dead.
Ever since you went through her things, you hadn't ventured into her room again. You thought it might preserve the way it looked, smelled, felt… preserve something of her.
Once you'd gone to the funeral parlor and management center at Elysium Memorial Park to confirm the engraving, you took a brisk walk up the hill to where you remembered Sena's plot to be. The sun peered out between clouds this morning, giving the sky a dual-toned appearance, one half a dark gray, and the other a gossamer yellow.
You started down the hill, head ducked to watch for any graves or hills so you didn't trample over other people's bodies. A bundle of flowers from the grocery store sat cradled in the crook of your arm—a bundle of pink carnations ("I'll never forget you") and dark crimson roses (mourning). You didn't often pay attention to the meaning of flowers, but you thought if you weren't able to choke anything out today, then at least they could speak for you.
Just as you neared the grave between oaks, you lifted your head, your footsteps slowing at the person who stood over your sister's grave. "You have got to be shitting me."
"Isn't it a sin to curse over someone's grave?" Changmin asked as you stopped short of where he was. There was a single stem of sunflower (adoration) seated at his feet on the bundle of earth that was Sena's resting place. "Well, I wouldn't know. That's not my expertise."
"What are you doing here?"
He gave a loose gesture with a flourished hand. "Visiting a friend. Don't leave on my account. She's your sister."
It was as if he could read your mind. You didn't count on anyone being here when you saw her, but he had a right to visit her, too. The bitterness seeping into your bones would have to be squandered for today; the universe just needed to stop making the two of you bump into each other.
You ignored the quickening pitter-patter of your heart and the necklace, and trudged over the grass to where he was.
You gently placed your bundle of flowers next to his, then straightened to stand beside him. The two of you stared at the patch in the ground in silence.
A frown etched itself onto his face, along with a crease between his brows. He seemed almost angry—at what, you couldn't tell. Not you, you hoped.
Quietly, you lowered yourself to the grass to sit down and be closer to her.
I miss you, you voiced into your head, as if you could transmit these thoughts to the dead body in the ground. I'm so… it's too much, Sena. I can't do this. I don't know what you want from me, I don't know what Changmin wants from me. The apartment is cold. Why didn't you tell me you were home all this time?
For the moment, you let your vision blur with tears.
You covered your mouth with your palm to dam the emotion inside, especially with someone else right next to you, but dignity be so fucking damned. Your body trembled with the weight of everything and beyond—you were Atlas carrying the world upon his shoulders. Pressure mounted in your cranium from how hard and freely you sobbed, your fingers pressed to your face to support your head as your tears wet the earth beneath you.
A presence lowered itself to the ground beside you, and Changmin remained politely quiet. He breathed in deeply, but you heard the slight tremble of his breath when he exhaled.
Maybe you were crying for the both of you.
After what seemed like eons, you sniffled, pawing at your puffy and reddened eyes with the sleeves of your shirt. You hadn't brought along any tissues or anything, an oversight.
You gathered your wits about you and clambered to your feet, your knees knocking together like a baby deer. Changmin still had his eyes pinned to the ground.
"Whatever the Hell you want from me," you told him hoarsely, "I don't care. Just leave me alone."
You watched his Adam's apple bob as he swallowed. Without another word, you walked away to head back to the bus stop.
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Your skin prickled when you returned home. The air was oddly… off, and a strange smell lingered in the air. It was subtle, only becoming apparent to you with deep, focused inhales. The identity of the smell eluded you and it wasn't something you were familiar with.
You kicked the front door shut behind you, and noticed that the window was ajar. Had you accidentally left that open before you left?
Strange.
You padded across the room to peer out at the street below. There sat the usual tree that occupied the space in front of your window, the one that you assumed (hoped) was the thing making all of the noises outside the past few weeks. (Because if it wasn't that, you didn't want to know what it really was.)
The thought occurred to you that you might have opened the window before you left to air out whatever smell had crept through the air vents. Yes, that made a whole lot of sense.
Settling with that explanation, you cranked the window closed slightly, only leaving a sliver so you could muffle as much of the sounds outside as possible. This part of town wasn't the noisiest, luckily, but when there were vehicles that drove by, they tended to be loud for no reason.
You sighed, settling down onto your couch with your bag. The whole rest of your day was open, and the only thing you had thought of was to go see Sena.
The feeling of eyes on you loitered on your skin like an invisible ant crawling over your body somewhere. You swiped at your neck, rubbed your arm… you couldn't identify it when you swung around to observe your own home.
This was your home, wasn't it? Why did it feel like you weren't alone in it?
You were going to go close the window—
A shadow appeared on the ledge of your window sill and you let out a scream.
The mass gnarled its teeth at the sound, pouncing at you with claws and fangs that glinted in the daylight.
You scrambled backward on the couch, toward the opposite end, your heart throwing itself up against your ribcage. "What the fuck?" You breathed, trying to figure out what in the world it was.
Bad idea. Oh, baaaad. Bad. Bad. Bad idea.
You shouldn't have stared so long; then you wouldn't have realized it had multiple rows of teeth, a face pale as a full moon, and two beady eyes narrowed into slits. Saliva dripped from its maw and down its chin as it crawled on its haunches and arms to you.
It made a guttural noise, then lunged.
You swore and fell over the arm of the couch, dragging along the lamp on the side table. You tried to move your right leg off the arm—it didn't budge. Oh god, it had its claws in your pant leg—
"Mine," it snarled, surprisingly sentient. "Master wills it so."
You kicked it in its face and managed to scramble away, clutching the lamp in front of your body as a weapon.
It ran after you, and your body leapt into instinct.
You nearly slipped as you fumbled to your feet and tipped the coffee table over the creature. "What the fuck are you—SHIT."
Wood splinters exploded as the creature smashed clear through one of the legs and went careening for you.
"HELP! SOMEBODY PLEASE," you begged, running for the kitchen and the block of knives in your sight.
Your knees hit the wood floor with a vengeance, and you had no time to mourn over bruised knees. You twisted around and just barely shoved the lamp between its jaws before it could enclose them around your neck—
Somebody pounded on your front door. "YN? YN!"
Familiar—that was all that went through your head. "HELP ME," you screeched, your hands growing slippery from the slobber. Desperation filled your veins and you gave a violent shove.
Your front door bursted open, the handle banging against the opposite wall and leaving a dent.
Changmin charged into the room with a dark look in his eyes, a swear on his tongue. "You're the little weasel who's been fucking with me."
The creature shifted his attention to Changmin. "Your Disgrace," it gave a mocking bow.
That seemed to be his ticker.
You couldn't comprehend what happened—only an exchange of blows, a blur of body mass—Changmin brawled with the creature on your floor and you dragged yourself behind the kitchen counter to hide. You reached for a knife from the knife block up above and pulled your knees to your chest, the sounds of snarling and wood breaking and bones cracking—then—complete silence.
You slapped a palm over your mouth, eyes going toward the ceiling to pray to anyone who could hear you.
This was when you died. The creature had killed Changmin and now it was coming back to finish what it started.
You held your breath with your eyes wide open. You strained your ears. The sound of a sigh met your ears, one that was oh-so familiar to you.
"Shit," came Changmin's voice. "Yn. Yn? Yn, where…?"
He rounded the counter, his hair sticking up in different directions and a large tear at the top of his shirt, but other than that, he seemed no worse for wear. He eyed the knife pointed outward at him, and he showed you his palms as if placating a rattlesnake. "Woah, hey, it's okay. It's gone now."
Your body trembled from head to toe with all of the pent up fear and adrenaline. You shook your head, your hand still clapped over your mouth to keep your screams or cries in.
Changmin lowered himself to your level slowly. "Hey, I'm not gonna hurt you. I promise, it's gone and you're okay now. Let's put the knife down."
You slowly, slowly brought your extended hand down, letting the blade point toward the ground and away from the man in front of you. "What—" you choked, "—what was—who are—"
His facial features arranged into something short of stress. "It's a long story…" He roughed a hand through his bangs. "That thing back there? Yn, that was a demon."
You blinked.
He exhaled sharply. "I'm a demon."
"Don't fuck with me."
"You think I'm fucking with you?"
Your free hand clutched at the pendant around your neck. "You—you don't look like that thing though."
He gave a nod. "Right, I don't. I'm… a different kind of demon." When you remained quiet, he prodded, "You're not going to fight back? You're not gonna tell me you're going crazy?"
"Oh, I know I'm going crazy," you nodded vigorously, wiping away the snot that dribbled down your nose inelegantly. He reached over the counter to grab the roll of paper towels and slide it over to you in an act of (rare) kindness. Your head made contact with the cabinet behind you. "Is the carcass lying on my living room floor, Changmin? Tell me it is not lying on my living room floor."
"It's not."
"Then where the fuck is it?"
He licked his lips, closing his eyes. "It escaped."
"Out the window?"
"No, through a portal—"
You wheezed, and you were sure you looked half mad to him. "Oh my god, I really am off my rocker." A portal. A portal! Of course it was a portal.
He pinned you with a look. "Yn. Yn, listen to me. You're not safe here."
"No shit. I almost died two minutes ago." You saw his unimpressed expression and forced an apology out of your mouth. "Sorry. Humor is a coping mechanism. You can't just tell me demons exist without me thinking we've both gone absolutely insane."
Changmin settled into a more comfortable position on the floor, gripping onto the edge of the counter behind his head. "Yeah, your sister reacted similarly when she found out."
Everything came to a screeching halt.
"What?"
He stuck his tongue in his cheek. "Supernatural creatures exist. The ones that you read about in books and in myths and legends, and watch in silly movies and TV shows?" He gestured wide with both his arms. "They exist—we exist."
You could hear your heartbeat thundering in your ears. You swallowed. "And she… she knew this?"
A nod. "Yes. We've all been walking among you this whole time."
"What does this have to do with Sena?" What did any of this have to do with your sister? Was this even worse than you imagined it was?
He pursed his lips, exposing the little mole beneath his bottom lip for a moment. "Sena and I were… business partners. We were in the bounty hunting business, essentially."
There were words coming out of his mouth, but it was too much. All of it hit your head and fell straight to the floor, and none of it truly sank into your sense of reality.
Sena was a supernatural bounty hunter? And she died while on a case. A personal one, he said—?
"—I was coming over to show you something when I felt my trap get triggered."
"Wait, wait, wait," you cut in. "Trap?"
"I've been hunting that demon for weeks now," he explained to you, but the words were coming out slowly like he was reluctant to let them go. "It's been… avoiding me, and I tracked it to your apartment and realized what, or who, it was after." His teeth ran over his bottom lip and his eyes narrowed on you. "You're wearing it, aren't you? The pendant?"
On instinct, your hand shot up to your sternum. "How the Hell—"
"That's what Sena and I were looking for." His sharp, feline gaze remained pinned on you as you slowly lifted the chain to take the pendant out. It glistened like a fat, red ruby in the daylight. "What did she tell you about it?"
"Absolutely nothing," you said plainly. You set the knife on the ground beside you and adjusted your sitting position with a shaky exhale. "Except that I shouldn't let anyone touch it before me, that I shouldn't take it off, and to not—trust anyone."
You stiffened when Changmin reached for something in his back pocket.
"Relax, this is what I wanted to show you." He held his hands up after retrieving a cream-colored envelope from his back pocket, majorly bent and crumpled in some portions, but intact for the most part. He slid the envelope across the kitchen floor to you, and you immediately recognized your sister's handwriting.
You gingerly picked it up off the ground and inspected it. It couldn't have been forged—the way she wrote her R's were too distinct. She was so weird about always writing capital R's even if it was supposed to be lowercase.
You opened the flap and tugged out the letter inside. As you made your way down the note, it came to you that this was his evidence. This was his evidence that Sena knew him personally and that, according to past-Sena, you could trust him.
Your fingers shook as you pushed the letter back into the fold, and you shoved the envelope back over to him. "Okay," you muttered. "What now?"
Something akin to relief washed over his face. "She didn't tell you anything about the pendant? Nothing?"
You shook your head, fondling the stone between your fingers. "No. I found it in the lockbox she left for me with cash and a small note."
"Lockbox?" He perked up. "Are you certain there wasn't anything else in there? Not a second stone or a second necklace? Nothing?"
Your eyebrows furrowed in thought, and you pressed your thumb and forefinger to your closed eyes when they began to sting from dehydration. "No. It was just those three things I mentioned earlier. Why?"
"Are you sure?"
"Yes," you said. "I am absolutely sure. You don't think I turned that thing upside down?"
Changmin stood up and began to pace around his side of the kitchen, his head buried in his two palms. "Oh fuck," you heard his muttered swear.
"What is it?"
He rubbed his hands down his face, and it reset him to that careful blankness from before. "Do you trust me?"
"No," came your automatic answer.
He rolled his eyes to the ceiling. "Your sister was after something important before she died. She—she was supposed to update me about it when she got back, but she never did." He carded a hand through his hair again. "It could reveal to us more about what happened. Didn't she mention anything about how important this was?"
He wasn't wrong, unfortunately. Sena wrote it plainly in her final note to you about how important this necklace was, and keeping it with you. You supposed you could dash out any thought that she stole this from a bank or jewelry store… a mortal one, at least.
What the fuck was this thing made of?
You enclosed your fist around the stone. "So what are you saying?"
"We need to finish what she started." He considered something for a moment, then added, "And you're not safe here."
Something panged in your chest. "I'm not teaming up with you."
Changmin took a couple steps toward you and from this distance, there was an unmistakable ferocity in his gaze. "I would agree with you, but unfortunately, if I want answers and the pendant, then I'm stuck with you."
Your blood pressure spiked. "You're such an ass."
"Ass or not," he drawled, "you can stay here and risk that cretin coming back for you, or you can come with me, and we can figure out what the Hell happened to your sister."
Your bones, your joints—everything ached as you clambered to your feet. God, you were tired. A grave sort of determination trickled into your mind, though, at the thought of getting away from this. It didn't seem like there was much other choice anyway.
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#4—SURVIVE THE NIGHT.
IT WAS LATE WHEN THE CAR pulled into the motel parking lot. Your ass was on fire from the long drive, and your mind hazy from sleep deprivation. Fear kept you awake for the entirety of the eight hour trek between home and nowhere. You would have worried about Changmin in the driver's seat, but considering you found out he was a supernatural being literally eight hours ago, your worries consoled themselves.
"This was the best out of the selection," he murmured, barely audibly, as he put the car in park. The glow from the motel lights was the only light for miles, and the red-violet from the neon sign washed over Changmin's sharp side profile like a grungy teen thriller show.
A yawn stretched out of you and you reached for your seatbelt. "Wasn't complaining."
He sent you a pointed look. It was a silent "Really?" You pointedly ignored it.
The two of you clambered out of the car and you massaged your back and butt with reprieve. Your hand reached for the red ruby settled beneath the fabric of your T-shirt, the warm stone solid and present between your fingers. Changmin slammed his side of the car closed as he slung his bag over his shoulder, and you were swift to follow his lead.
Your fingers drummed against the side of your pants just as the main office came into view. There was someone seated behind the front desk with her head buried in her phone and Candy Crush on the screen. You and Changmin walked up to the counter and her head flicked upward.
Her eyes darted between you two and something or other clicked in her head. "Room for two?" She droned, already clacking away on her computer screen.
"Yes please," you sighed. You knew there was no way you were getting around her assumptions.
She smacked the gum in the side of her cheek, twirling around in her chair to reach for a key on the wall behind her. "It'll be thirty bucks," she said, sliding the key across the counter, "and we don't have condoms."
You and Changmin both coughed, heat rushing to your face. "None needed," he muttered as he slid a twenty and ten dollar bill over to her.
You collected the key and checked for the room number. Sleep crept into the corners of your eyes again and they were starting to sting from dehydration.
Changmin eyed you from his peripheral vision and nodded his silent thanks to the girl. He swept an arm loosely around your shoulders to guide you back out to the night beyond the main office. The room you were assigned was on the second floor of a building just a little ways down the complex. It was outfitted with a single queen-sized bed and bathroom, and the lights fortunately worked well enough. You couldn't decide if it was a good thing that you were too tired to assess the cleanliness of this room, but you made a beeline for the bathroom.
"I'm taking a shower," you announced, already closing the door.
The last thing you heard was his grunt from the other side.
You dumped your backpack on the lid of the toilet then braced your forearms on the sink counter. The lights in here were a dull gray and made you look sickly in the mirror. Dark bags hung beneath your pinkened eyes—the receptionist probably thought you were drunk or high. Exhaustion hit you like a bus, your limbs sluggish and heavy.
So much had happened in the past 48 hours.
You ripped the shower curtain back and fiddled around with the shower until cold water spouted from the top.
Changmin was a demon. He was Hellspawn. You'd messed around with the idea of him being a pain in the ass before, but you never expected his demon-ness to be true.
When the water warmed as much as it could, you stepped beneath its drizzle. The ruby pendant from your sister sat on your sternum, safe and warm, and you watched it pulse with a glowing scarlet beneath the stream of water.
Your sister.
A few weeks ago, you watched her body lowered into a ditch in the ground. A little before that, you were told her death had been an accident. Now, you were on the run.
From who or what? You weren't completely sure. That was what Changmin was here for. Well, technically he was here for the necklace your sister left with you, but after what happened at your apartment that caused the two of you to go on the run, here you and the necklace were. Plus, the note your sister left explicitly instructed that the necklace be kept with you—on you. (You still weren't too certain of anything.)
When your fingers began to prune, you reluctantly stepped out of the shower to slip on a new set of clothes from your backpack. You went through the motions of getting ready to sleep, too, mind fuzzy and unable to make sense of anything.
You wrestled down a sigh and desire to cry. You were tired, for fuck's sake, you were so tired.
But when you opened the bathroom door, flicking the light off, you paused. The room was dark.
Your breath hitched in your throat and the hair on the back of your neck stood at attention. Heart pounding, you took a step into the main room.
"Chang—" A palm closed around your mouth, another cupping the back of your head.
Panicpanicpanic—
A warm breath by your ear. "Calm down. It's just me." Changmin.
Fucking Hell.
You found his eyes as yours grew more accustomed to the dark. His head twisted over his shoulder to the window by the door where you could see silhouettes walking past, silent and stalking.
"Someone's here," he exhaled as he slowly removed his hand from over your mouth. His dark bangs hung in his eyes, his mouth set in a firm line. "They can sense the pendant, I think."
Your heart thundered against your ribcage—ba-boom, ba-boom, ba-boom—
Changmin's head whipped back toward you and he fished something out of his pocket. He reached for your hand, closing your fingers around something cold and metal. "Slowly put your backpack down and barricade yourself in the closet over there," he instructed quietly, finger pointing in the direction of the sliding doors just to your left. "If it comes to it, use the knife, Yn."
You bit your tongue to keep your breathing as steady as possible. Your hands shook around the switchblade he'd passed to you, and under his sharp eyes, you carefully lowered your bag to the ground without making as much noise as you could. Then, with his go-ahead, you crept as quietly as possible toward the closet.
Just as you reached for the slot in the door, all Hell broke loose.
The window shattered open, the door kicked off its hinges. Your entire body tensed as you dropped to the floor behind the bed, clutching the knife in front of you.
Changmin swore, nice and loud.
Shadows pummeled him to the ground until he was tangled in darkness, like nightmares brought to life. You saw a flash of claws in your view, your scream caught in your throat.
"You."
A blur of shadow whisked across your vision and your eyes went wide.
The creature crawled over the bed and pounced toward you—you rolled away from him, blade held out in front of your body. Oh, there was an awful wave of déjà vu coming over you.
"You are a difficult being to find, pet," the creature hissed. You were beginning to make out its features now—dagger-like eyes, claws that could easily rip flesh apart like cloth, and a maw of knives for teeth. Shit straight out of nightmares.
It cocked its head at you, crouching on the floor a few feet away. Why hadn't it attacked you yet?
"Curious," its scratchy voice croaked. "The master will be pleased when the asset is brought home to her."
The asset? It must have meant the necklace.
You heard a snarl from your right, and in horror, noted the thick, dark liquid splattered all over Changmin's clothes and body. When he snarled at the demons holding him down, you spotted the gleam of fangs.
"What do you want from me?" Your voice trembled, returning back to your main problem. The necklace sat warm and present, the pulses matching your racing heartbeat.
The creature released a sound like grating metal, something akin to a laugh. "Your guardian is more dangerous than he appears," he said instead while tilting its head to the side. "Clever being, that one. Master will be pleased when we bring his rotted corpse home."
You didn't anticipate how quickly it would move. You screamed as the creature dove for you and you swung out of the way. Its claws dug into the meat of your thigh, clinging to the flesh there with all of its might.
Fear struck painfully through your chest and you desperately twisted around to stab the blade into the side of the creature's neck.
It screeched. You drew the knife out to impale it in the back area, messily splattering an arc of its black blood everywhere.
You sucked in a sob as you scrambled backward. Its body dragged along the ground from its claws still sunken into your leg. The body was limp, but your nose wrinkled from the acrid, hot smell reeking from the corpse. It smelled burnt.
You peered at the blade in your fist with new eyes. The silver glowed gold in the darkened room; you shouldn't have expected anything less. Why did you think a mortal weapon could defend you from demonic creatures?
"YN!"
Too late.
Claws sunk into the sides of your throat and trapped your voice there. You thrashed around; panic stabbed your chest. Pathetically, desperately, you reached your arm back to try and drill the blade of your knife into the creature behind you.
Hot blood squelched down your throat—you were losing feeling there. Numb numb numb—it hurt, oh fuck, you were going to die—
All at once, the pressure subsided.
Breath could only flood into your lungs as quickly as blood spilled from your throat. You were choking, eyes wide up at the ceiling.
This was it, this was it. Maybe you'd see your sister in Hell.
A face appeared above you, sweaty but familiar. Your blurry vision couldn't make out the emotions on his face, but you could hear him… boy, could you hear him.
"Fuck, fuck, fuck," he cursed, rustling around and adjusting his position above your body.
His rough palms cupped your face. You could hear your heartbeat slowing in your ears. Ba-boom… ba-boom… ba… boom.
"Stay with me," he panted. His left hand pressed against that side of your neck to staunch the blood flow. He sucked in a breath and he ducked out of your view.
You felt a different wet sensation over your open wound. His tongue was rough, yet soothing as he lapped and sucked on the gouge in your throat. Feeling sparked in that area; you could feel your skin physically stitching itself together. If you could squirm, you would have.
He was swift to switch to your other side and copy those actions there. He groaned low against your skin, one hand cupping the side of your head to hold you in place.
Oxygen rushed through your lungs and you gasped. You tore your neck away from his mouth to dry retch. Blood dripped from the side of your lips to the dusty carpet. You had been asphyxiating on your own life force.
You flopped back onto your back, tears rolling down your cheeks as you gestured wildly at the steaming demon carcass still attached to your thigh. "Ple-please," you whimpered. "Please, get it off."
Changmin crawled onto his arms, sliding down toward your leg. "Yeah, sweetheart. I got it."
He looked up at you as he dug his fingers into the creature's skull, ready to pry the thing's claws from you. Something dark was smudged over his face—his nose, cheeks, across his eye. "It's gonna hurt," he warned, voice hoarse.
You moved your head in a microscopic nod.
Tears pricked at your vision, and your leg screamed. Blood filled your mouth even more from the force you used to clamp down on your tongue. Changmin was swift, but gentle as he removed each claw from your thigh, then tossed the body somewhere behind him. He lowered his face to your leg to carefully lap at your wounds like he'd done before.
When he was done, he flopped onto the floor with you, his sigh filling the awful silence.
You could feel everything. It was pulsing all over your body. Your skin, threading together, tingled and ached and throbbed. Your cheeks were damp with tear tracks and your fingers finally loosened their grip on the switchblade. Your mouth was coated in the metallic iron taste of blood.
The only familiar feeling was the pendant on your sternum. The bane of your existence.
"So you have magic spit?" You croaked, your voice scratchy from your sore and bruised throat.
You heard his huff, the closest thing you'd ever heard to a laugh from him. "It's regenerative," he exhaled deeply.
You snorted, then winced when it hurt.
If you could look up, you would've seen the corner of his lips twitch.
"Are you sure you're not a vampire?"
You heard a soft shuffling sound as he clambered upright to lean against the wall. His head thumped against it, eyes fluttered closed. "I don't drink blood, sweetheart."
"I didn't say you drank it."
You grimaced as you struggled to swallow. Reality was swooping in on you like a vulture above a carcass. Doom swirled in your stomach—you almost died just now. You choked on a sob, and you reached up to your face to brush away your tears.
Oh god, everything hurt.
"I want to go home," you whispered. It wasn't even to Changmin, just to whoever could hear you. Homehomehome, but where was home? They could find you anywhere.
A beat passed.
"I'm sorry." Changmin's head hung, either out of exhaustion or genuine regret. "I promised your sister I wouldn't get you involved."
You still couldn't move your head much, so you kept your gaze on the speckled ceiling. "What?"
"I have… had sisters."
You didn't hide your surprise. You didn't think you would ever get anything personal out of this guy, let alone the fact he had family. But his confession planted a seed of sympathy in you… maybe he was human before, or maybe he wasn't at all, but he had family. That had to count for something.
He released another haggard sigh. "So that was one of the few things we could agree on—keeping you out of this unless necessary."
Necessary. You should have never put on the necklace, should have never touched the cursed thing. Now, you were literally chained to it and its fate.
He went quiet again and you could hear your heartbeat in your ears. You thought he was going to say something else, but instead, he rose to his feet. Taking slow, careful steps, he made his way over to your body.
"C'mon, let's get out of here," he murmured as he tucked his hands under your armpits to haul you upright.
You cursed under your breath at the ache and the blood rushing to your head. Your left leg was pretty much useless, and he had to cup the nape of your neck to his shoulder so you could lean on him.
"Can you walk?" He asked, his breath by your ear again.
You shook your head, pressing your mouth against the muscle of his shoulder. He smelled like demon blood, and you shifted to lean your cheek on him instead, holding in a gag at the wretched stench.
"Okay. Hold on a second."
He helped you sit down on the ledge of the bed, before going around the room to collect things. He plucked up your backpack from the floor, then his own bag, hoisting them both over his shoulders before returning to you. From your vantage, you could see all the limp demon corpses lying on the ground, unmoving. You wrestled down the bile creeping up your throat and looked away.
Changmin scooped you up in his arms with a grunt, and you looped yours around his upper body, tucking yourself into him. "We have to get out of here before someone comes to check this shit out," he said to you as he exited the room.
You gave a nod. "Aren't you tired? Hurt?" You asked, guilt and fear twisting something horrid in your chest.
"Don't worry about me."
"How could I not?"
His lips twitched. "Oh, so you care about me now?"
You closed your eyes against his shoulder. "Don't be an asshole."
"Sure, sweetheart." He made it to the car and instructed you to reach around his back to get the car key hanging from his bag strap. Changmin managed to get the car door open and deposited you in your seat. Your body molded into the material, exhaustion settling once more into your bones and joints.
In a blink, the two of you were back on the road.
Changmin carded a hand through his damp hair as he pulled out onto the barren street. You rolled your head to the side, eyes drinking him in. There were scratches over his exposed skin, barely there, but still present as if they had healed over already. His clothes were splotched and stained, as well as ripped in other places. And of course, there was the blood smeared all over his face, his neck. The bastard didn't even look fazed.
Right, demon. What did that even entail?
Your eyelids were beginning to droop, yanked down by the force of gravity and the human necessity to sleep. You didn't want to sleep though; you didn't want to be attacked a third time. Though most of the adrenaline had dissipated, your shoulders were still tense, your senses alert and unable to relax just yet.
Changmin glanced over at you briefly. "You should sleep."
You moved your head. "Can't," you rasped.
He reached over then, his palm warm against your head, as he gently brushed his thumb over your eyelids to coax them closed. "You're safe with me, Yn," he promised. You were reluctant to believe him, but after what just happened, at least you knew he could take care of himself and you.
Sleep was already coaxing you into its jaws to devour you, and the pendant under your shirt pulsed to a steady beat to encourage your descent. "Morning will come soon."
All you could do now was trust him.
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#5—THE ANGEL BLADE.
THE DINER OFF THE INTERSTATE was like the ones from the movies: red, vinyl seats that squelched when you scooted over them; blind fluorescent lights that flickered every time a fly died against them; people minding their own business as they hunched over grainy coffee and burgers that looked a little too good to be true. You sat across from Changmin, hands laced over the white table surface while he had his arms braided over his chest.
Another eight hours had passed since the motel. You'd found a rest stop to clean up and change clothes on the way, but when you could no longer deny your need for food, Changmin made the executive decision to feed the monster that was your stomach. Executive decision meant he was driving you somewhere to eat something so you wouldn't pass out from stubborn, self-induced hunger.
You're not gonna die if you want fries and chicken tenders, Yn, he'd said with a roll of his eyes.
Easy for him to say. He wasn't the target of every other supernatural being within a fifty mile radius. Perhaps by association, but still.
It was fascinating what a few hours of rest and magical demon saliva could do to help the human body. All of your wounds had pretty much closed up—albeit a tad sore, but nothing as awful as the pain you were in when being clawed in the moment. It was even more fascinating how alive Changmin looked despite literally not being alive. And the fact he hadn't slept a wink within the past day at least.
You, on the other hand, looked like a dumpster fire. Your hair was a bird's nest, eye bags more expensive than Louis Vuitton. Your stomach gave another whining growl; you'd ordered not five minutes ago with a middle-aged woman in too-bright red lipstick and a blue collared dress uniform.
"Are you sure you're not like, a vampire?"
His face dropped into a deadpan you'd seen before. "Oh my God."
"You can say His name?"
Your lips curled into a self-indulgent smile at the way he rolled his eyes so hard, he could probably see his brain back there. (If he had one.) "Sorry."
"You're not sorry," he said, eyebrow arching. "Do you have any real questions?"
Your hands shifted to your lap as your gaze moved to the window next to you. The sky was an ugly, sickly shade of gray-green. It reminded you of the lighting from the first Twilight movie, and you gagged at the thought. The bright red and neon of the diner clashed horridly with the sky, too. All of it was a little disconcerting.
Back in the car, when Changmin was first introducing you to the real world, he'd given you the short version of the supernatural who lived amongst oblivious humans. He hadn't gotten down to the nitty-gritty, just the shit he needed you to know so he could justify hauling you across the state, and to understand all the supernatural creatures after the little pendant resting beneath your shirt collar.
Two mugs of coffee were set onto your table, the dark liquid sloshing over the sides to stain the white below it.
You reached for your mug first, gently cooling it down with a breath. When you took a sip, gingerly, you grimaced. You somehow managed to wrestle the liquid down, but the searing bitterness was enough to make you push the cup away and reach for the sugar packets at the end of the table.
Changmin watched you in amusement, tongue poking the inside of his mouth.
You narrowed your eyes at him as you ripped a Stevia packet open. "What're you laughing at?"
"M'not laughing," he shrugged. He picked up his cup of coffee, clinked it against yours for good measure, then chugged the cup of shit in one sitting.
You watched in ill-concealed disgust, horror, and… maybe you were a little impressed.
When he set the drained cup on the table, he wiped his smug mouth with a napkin from the aluminum dispenser.
It was your turn to deadpan. "Show off," you muttered, stirring your artificial sweetener into the dark brown brew.
He shrugged again. "What? Like it's hard?"
"Oh my god, you can be funny."
Your chicken tenders arrived. Steam wafted from them and you closed your eyes to inhale the beautiful smell. Happiness on a plate, you liked to think.
Changmin thanked the waitress who had also delivered him a plate of blueberry pancakes. He eyed you quietly as you inhaled the food on your plate, despite the dull throbbing in your throat.
You caught his gaze, stopping mid-tender. "Want some?" You asked after swallowing the bite, gesturing to your fries.
He shook his head and began buttering up his hotcakes. "Nah. Have at it."
The two of you settled into a comfortable silence as you ate your separate meals. Changmin had told you before that demons didn't need all the typical things humans needed to "survive" or "live." Technically, since he was undead, there were only a handful of ways he could die. Eating and sleeping were necessary for human life, but they were more so preferences for him. If he wanted to eat, he could eat. If he wanted to close his eyes and dream, he could try.
The thought had you waving a fry at him. "The switchblade," you began, drawing his attention and pancake-stuffed cheeks, "what was it? It definitely wasn't something human-made."
Changmin swallowed his bite. "It was an angel blade."
"You're kidding," you drawled in disbelief.
He challenged your stare. "Believe it or not, it was. Forged up there." He lifted the prongs of his fork up toward the ceiling, shaking his bangs out of his eyes.
Your jaw dropped. "So the Big Man Upstairs does exist?"
"I mean, I don't really know. I've never met him if he does. I just know the angels are ruled by the Seraphim," he told you. "Lots of hierarchical bullshit I didn't care to pay attention to."
He impaled another piece of pancake. "Angel blades are one of the few things that can kill a creature like that."
"A demon?" You asked.
"Yes. Lower level demons are easier to kill, especially with a blade like the one I gave you." He shoved the bite into his cheek to continue, "That's why I was able to take on multiple at once."
You made a noise of indignation. "So you're telling me you're a higher level demon?"
His shoulders fell in a half-hearted shrug.
"Helpful," you muttered as you washed your meal down with bittersweet coffee. You paused for a moment, cleaning your fingers off with a napkin. "The… the licking thing."
Changmin's eyes could not meet yours. "Mhm."
"Do you… do you do that often?"
"No," he said curtly. "That party trick only works on humans and I don't really enjoy the taste of blood."
You pursed your lips at his rather clipped response. "Oh." You recalled the sound he'd made as he cleaned your blood up with his tongue at the motel… maybe it was something out of disgust. You suddenly felt out of place, like you had made his shoulders tense up and the air crackle. You racked your brain. "I—thanks, by the way."
With a cough, he murmured, "Welcome. Couldn't have you dying on me."
You nursed your coffee cup, reaching up to absentmindedly fondle the pendant under your shirt. "Yeah."
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"Have you ever met an angel?"
The car was quiet as Changmin peered over his shoulder to switch lanes, the blinker tick-tocking away until it was turned off. "Yeah."
You stared out the front windshield to count the white colored cars on the highway amongst you. "What're they like?"
"They're like every other species," he said, unenthused. "Some are more asshole-ish than others. You'll find good ones and bad ones." A sigh. "The ones I've met have largely been the latter though."
"Oh." You weren't sure if you were disappointed by that answer.
The diner had been less than half an hour ago and you were back on the road again. Yours and Changmin's ETA to your sister's safehouse was supposedly another five or so hours. You couldn't believe she owned safehouses. For fuck's sake, she lived with you for majority of the time before she went to study abroad… she probably wasn't even abroad all those times, you realized anxiously.
It was like he could sense your change in mood from bored curiosity to tense overthinking. He dug around in the pocket of his pants and handed you the pommel of the switchblade from the motel. Angel blade, he'd called it.
You glanced at him in question, but he only pushed it into your palms.
"Get comfortable with it," he said. "It's a decent size as far as angel blades goes, since those fuckers don't really like to give them up. It's good for self defense."
The blade looked like something one could buy at a gift shop, slim with some heft, painted a shiny white color. There was no logo on it, but if you looked at it from the right angle, it shimmered. You unlocked it and let the blade whip out of the slot. The blade was shaped like any other box cutter you've seen before, but the underside had a serrated edge for extra ease in slicing through tougher materials. Your finger ghosted over the glowing metal, silver warming to a yellow-orange, but only if you didn't blink in the daylight.
You killed a demon with this. The blade burned the creature.
"How'd you get this if they don't like giving these up?" You asked as you figured out how to put the blade back into its sheath.
His fingers drummed against the wheel. "Won it in a poker game," he said.
Your eyebrows lifted. "Seriously?"
You swore there was a ghost of a smile on his lips. "Seriously."
With nothing better to do, you flicked the blade in and out, in and out. You'd only ever really held blades in the kitchen and when opening packages. "Do you have a name for it?"
"A name?"
"Yeah," you said, shifting slightly in your seat as an ache crept into your spinal cord, "y'know like the fantasy books where they name their blades." You inspected the switchblade again, rotating it in your hands. "Looks like a Clyde."
Changmin let out a huff from his nose. "Clyde?"
"What? Got any better ideas?"
"How about we don't name dangerous utilities for murder," he drawled.
"I can't believe you didn't just say 'weapons.'" When he didn't answer you, you made an indignant little noise you hoped annoyed him and admired the angel blade in your hand in a new light. Clyde. Hi, Clyde. You're pretty.
"Don't tell me you're communicating with it," he said to you.
You ran your finger over the flat side again with a fond smile—just to annoy him. "It doesn't give me lip."
A sigh. He tended to do that a lot. "How's your neck?"
Your hand lifted to your throat and massaged it lightly. "It's doing alright. Does it still look bruised?"
You tilted your neck so he could take a good look at it. He eyed the span of flesh there, his dark irises taking on a strange tint. The corner of his mouth curled downward as he turned his focus back to the road. "Yeah."
"It doesn't hurt as bad anymore, if that's any better."
"I guess," he grumbled. "Humans are so fragile."
"Hey man," you huffed, "is it my fault that I don't have magic spit or my skin doesn't heal fast—"
"How many times do I have to tell you? It's not magic spit. That's just how human biology reacts to demon saliva." Changmin tapped the back of his hand on the steering wheel as a vague gesture.
You shifted in your seat to look at him and so that you could take pressure off one side of your back. "I have a question. Why does demon saliva have healing properties when usually lore says that you guys are opposite in nature? Actually, that kind of sounds prejudicial," you thought aloud.
"It is prejudicial," he replied. "Well, mostly. It depends on the demon, but we're just like any other species. It's just that most pop culture depicts us as evil. Demons and vampires are derivations of each other in that—"
"So you are a vampire!"
He didn't even try to counter you this time. "Both species have saliva that can heal wounds, not large wounds, but you can probably imagine that vampires use it to seal puncture marks post-meal."
That made sense to you. "But why do demons need it?"
"Human blood…" he trailed off for a moment as he narrowly missed a car zooming past, his glaring eyes trailing after them, "...is like our saliva. It regenerates us. It's kind of like an energy drink, so it's not a necessity, but more so like a luxury or privilege."
You swallowed and you could've sworn you heard a soft huff from his mouth like a laugh. The thought of your blood being like an energy drink for him—and he'd literally licked your wounds clean at the motel that night. Was that how he was able to heal so quickly? It was a marvel he hadn't drunk you dry. But then again, he'd also said blood wasn't his taste…?
"Are you sure you don't like human blood?" You asked, sounding like a broken record, but more apprehensively this time.
"Sweetheart, you really think you'd still be here if I did?"
Touché.
Out of the corner of your eye, you caught Changmin stiffen. His hands tightened the slightest amount around the steering wheel, his eyes darting from the front windshield to the rearview mirror.
"What?" You asked, taking a look through the side mirror on your side. "What's wrong?"
Changmin's face washed over in a careful blankness. "We're being followed."
Your whole body tensed and you had to physically restrain yourself from twisting around in your seat. "What?"
"Hey, stay calm." He flicked his turn signal on casually as he exited off the freeway.
"Why are you telling them where we're going?!" He was literally signaling to whoever was following you exactly your next move.
"Just because we're on the run, doesn't mean we shouldn't follow basic driving safety."
You sent him a very emboldened stink eye. "Out of all the times, you choose now to have a sense of humor and to be an upstanding citizen?" Where was this during the entire road trip thus far?
Changmin made no other comments as he turned right onto the street leading further away from the freeway. You sat quietly for a moment, monitoring the cars behind you from your side mirror. Your knee started bouncing as you took note of the white sedan following behind, not tailgating, but its intentions were clear enough where even you could pick it out.
"What're we gonna do?" You murmured.
Changmin glanced over at you briefly. "We're gonna be fine. We just have to lose them."
"No shit."
"And you say I give you lip?"
Without any forewarning, Changmin jerked the car to the left, practically zooming across the intersection to catch the yellow light. Your whole body sailed across the center console, and before you could give him a piece of your mind, he was sending you crashing into your doorway from another sharp turn. You glared daggers at him, but turned to peer out your window.
The white car was still following after you. They must have run the red light then.
Changmin's sharp eyes sliced across the rearview mirror, and his foot lowered on the gas pedal like a challenge. His eyes whipped back and forth for somewhere he could go next, brain working double the speed. "Hold onto something, sweetheart."
"I don't think that would—HELPPP!" You sputtered and yanked on the handle above the door, hugging yourself to that side of the car.
You could hear the tires of Changmin's car burn rubber and squeal as he zigzagged through streets. You were pretty sure half of this was residential, you thought as the landscape blurred past.
"Do you even know where—" You swore as your body flailed around from another one of his god awful swerves, "—we are?"
He shook his head and floored the gas. "Nope."
Great.
It was about fifteen minutes of this supposed drag racing before his driving finally began to even out. You were seconds from hurling up diner food when you realized…
"Where the fuck did the trees come from?" You asked, lowering your tense form from the door handle.
You pressed your nose against the window to gawk up at the towering trees on your side of the vehicle, all dark green and beautiful. A light fog clung to some of the leaves, making the sunlight streaming through them look like golden strands of gossamer. The road you drove on held to the side of the mountain, but from what you could tell, Changmin had officially lost the white sedan.
Changmin visibly relaxed. "You might wanna pull up a GPS."
You reached over to your phone in the cupholder. But you pretty much tossed it right back. "No bars. Where did you take us?" You didn't even realize there was so much forest in this area. How come you hadn't seen it from the highway?
He gave a sigh, raking a hand through his hair. "Shit."
The car sunk into silence. Changmin could do nothing else but follow the road until you hit civilization or some kind of sign as to where you two were. You hadn't been in this part of the state before, so it wasn't like you could point out any landmarks. But as you both continued along, you settled into a sort of calm—the trees here were beautiful, untouched by man. Even from inside the car, you could feel the serenity.
Your finger pressed down on the button on your door to lower the window. You stuck your head out, hair flowing behind you. With a great inhale, your mouth broke into a smile. It smelled just as gorgeous as it looked. Fresh and clean and—
"You've got to be shitting me."
You pulled yourself back into the car and raised the window back up. "What?"
Changmin's mouth was set in a firm line, a dimple pressing deep into his cheek. "Wolves."
Your brows knitted together. "Huh?"
"We're in wolf shifter territory."
Just as he said this to you, the car rounded the side of the bend and revealed a large green sign that read: WELCOME TO MOONSTONE CREAK! Population 276.
The sign following it did not make you feel any better: CAMPERS! BEWARE OF WOLVES.
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#6—BEWARE OF WOLVES.
AT THE FIRST SIGN OF WOLVES, you sunk low in your seat. You'd made eye contact with one of the furry creatures hidden in the brush, their sharp predator eyes narrowing at the sight of a foreign entity in their woods.
"By wolf shifters," you said quietly, holding onto Clyde in your lap, "you mean like… werewolves?"
Changmin's eyes stayed on the road ahead, but every once in a while, you would catch him scanning the forest, too. "Those aren't the same things. Werewolves are the things you read about in lore, half-man and half-wolf. Wolf shifters can change completely from man to wolf and vice versa."
"Oh." Well, that cleared some things up. "I'm guessing they don't take kindly to trespassers?"
He bit his lip. "I mean, it depends on the pack. If my hunch is right about where we are though, we shouldn't have to worry."
You gulped. "And if you aren't?"
"Well, I told you to get used to that angel blade, right?"
The trek further into the forest and mountains continued. The scenery around you was still as stunning as it was before, and you thought to yourself how dangerous a beautiful thing could be. Every time you peeked out of the car window, you saw a flash of something in the woods beyond the road. There had to be a reason why they hadn't attacked the car yet, right? If this was a pack of wolves who didn't like trespassers, then why were you and Changmin still alive?
Maybe they wanted you in a place where there was no chance of outsiders hearing you scream…
Your intrusive thoughts were getting to you.
There was a dead end, a near broken road sign and fence directing all passers-by that this was the end. Changmin was forced to take the off-road path, beaten into the dirt as it wound through the forest. If you didn't have signal up on the main road, you definitely would not have any here.
It was a few more minutes of traveling down the path that two wolves appeared before the car. Changmin brought the vehicle to a slow halt. The wolves were relatively large, spanning about six feet and about as tall as the bottom rim of the car door window. One of the wolves had black hair like a raven, and the other had hair like a field of grain.
Your heart stuttered in your chest as the wolves stared right at you. "Changmin…?"
He met their staring contest with little intimidation. "It's… it's fine. I think they recognize me."
After a moment, the two wolves broke their strange staring contest and trotted off to the side of the road. They were back so quickly, you almost didn't realize what had happened. Like magic, they had transformed into two toned young men, both nicely built with their lean upper body on display. They must have had a strategic stash of shorts hidden behind a tree for after they shifted to their human forms. One had cropped black hair, the other blond. Well, at least that made sense.
Changmin slumped in his chair, relieved. The corners of his mouth curled upward in an almost-smile, as the two wolf shifters came over to greet him at his window.
The brunette bent his head down to the window with a broad smile, the kind that made your stomach fill with butterflies. (Not to mention the eyeful of abs you and Changmin were getting…) He leaned his arms over the top of the car window, eyes flickering from the demon to you. "Long time no see, Changmin. Who's your friend?"
"That's Yn," your demon guardian said, clasping one of the man's hands in greeting. He reached for the second wolf shifter. "Haknyeon, nice to see you, too."
"Good to see you, Changmin" said the blond.
Oh, so he knew them.
Changmin gestured to the two men. "Yn, this is Kevin and Haknyeon. They're with the pack."
"Not that we're unhappy to see you," Kevin drawled, "but how did you find us?"
Okay, wait. If Changmin knew them, then why wouldn't he know the location of their pack? You sat quiet, waiting for someone to explain it to you… or just explain everything to you.
"Someone was following us and I lost them," Changmin told them, "but I managed to get us lost, too. Coincidence that we ended up here. I'm glad it's you guys and not another pack."
Kevin's eyebrows flew up. "Yeah, for sure. Well—" he turned his head up toward the treetops and scanned the skies. They were beginning to bruise like your skin as the sun sank somewhere amongst the trees and into the horizon. You hadn't even realized how dark it was starting to get. "—sun's already pretty low right now. Why don't you guys shack up with us tonight and then we'll help you out in the morning?"
"That would be great actually." Wow, really? You kept your surprise at bay. "Lead the way."
With no further discussion needed, Kevin and Haknyeon disappeared behind the same large tree trunk from before, then re-emerged as the wolves from before. Kevin, the one with black colored fur, pointed with his snout in the direction the path would take you. The two wolves began to trot down the path, and Changmin waited for them to get somewhat ahead before he flicked his headlights on and followed.
It was a curious act of consideration, you thought.
You watched as the wolves began to pick up speed, your eyes flickering to the speedometer. "So…" you drawled, "what the fuck just happened?"
A sharp huff, his version of a laugh. "They're old friends," he said.
"How'd you not know this was where their pack was if they're old friends?"
"I met them out of the pack," he explained. "It was somewhere in the New England area, and we just happened to be hunting the same thing."
Hunting? Oh, bounty hunter. Right. "And the—the shifting thing."
"What about it?"
You made a face of frustration. He always made you pull teeth when you wanted background information. "Everything."
He glanced at you. "I think it'd be better if one of them explained it to you. Better to have one of their own say it right than risk me getting something wrong."
That was, unfortunately, a very fair answer.
Instead of pushing on the wolf topic, you had more questions that he could answer. "So what now? Are we just gonna stay the night? Is it safe?" What if that white car found a way in here? Neither of you could see who the driver was, and so how could either of you be sure they weren't trying to perhaps get you both here? And if they also had the means to come in here without being marked as trespassers?
"It's safe," he said with such confidence that you arched your brows. He saw your expression, making a soft turn along the road as the wolves had, the pads of his fingers lifting off the steering wheel for a second in gesture. "I know what you're probably thinking, but it's safer than sleeping out in a motel off the highway, alright? Packs usually don't drive cars, and they have maybe one or two for convenience sake. They can smell trespassers from miles away, and they usually have people on watch all the time, which is how they found us so quickly."
You supposed that made sense. The forest here seemed denser, and with the quickly fading light, it made it all the more unnavigable. If you were to try to run… good fucking luck.
You opened your mouth to say something, but nothing came out. As the car rounded the bend, yours and Changmin's faces illuminated with the glow of light.
The town was laid out flat before you, not over a ridge, not over a mountain, but a path that led into a central meeting place with wooden buildings all around it. The lights were all from candle-lit lanterns rather than the LEDs and fluorescents of the human world. There were a mixture of both wolves and people milling about, an air of warm cheeriness that you could feel even from the car. You felt a fuzziness manifest in your chest at the sight.
Kevin and Haknyeon directed Changmin toward a back road to the right behind a row of buildings. It was most likely to avoid getting in the way of the pack members, you guessed. You kept silent as you averted your eyes from the void-like darkness of the forest beyond to your right.
Up ahead, you saw the two wolves trot into a small paved area with one other car parked along the walkway. It seemed to be like a makeshift alleyway of sorts between two blocks of buildings. With some maneuvering, Changmin managed to parallel park into the space that was just big enough for his vehicle.
When he parked, he gestures for you to follow his lead and get out of the car. "You should be safe to come out with me. We'll probably meet the pack alpha and get everything settled—" His head tilted to the side, "—hopefully."
Your eyes shuttered. "Hopefully?" You echoed. Pack alpha? What the fuck did that entail? From what you remember in the books and shows, you thought to yourself as you clambered out of the car and stretched your sore limbs, wolf packs had an alpha that would lead everyone. You weren't sure if you would have to go through some kind of cult initiation or something to be granted permission to stay the night.
The angel blade sat tucked into the pocket of your pants along with your phone, and you slammed your car door shut. From here, you could peer down the alley and see out into the glowing atmosphere of the town center. It sounded like fun, actually—all of the chatter and laughter. You hadn't been anywhere so lively-sounding in awhile.
"Yn right?"
You startled a little, whirling around to find the brunette—Kevin was his name—smiling at you sheepishly. He was back in human form with a pair of shorts and a plain white T-shirt on. "Sorry I snuck up on you," he said.
"Oh, it's totally fine!" You laughed bashfully, smoothing a hand down your hair. "And yes, I'm Yn. You're Kevin, right?"
Man, he was so much prettier up close…
Kevin nodded. "Yeah, it's nice to meet you. Changmin says this is all pretty new to you." He gestured loosely to the world around him, an all encompassing notion to the entire world you had just unearthed beneath your nose.
Your eyes darted behind Kevin where Changmin and Haknyeon were gathered on the other side of the car, pulling yours and Changmin's bags out the backseat. Changmin caught your eyes, lifted his eyebrows, then returned to his conversation.
So he was just gonna leave you in the hands of the very handsome wolf shifter? Cool.
"Yeah, it's kind of a crazy story," you mused. Understatement of the century. "Thanks for taking us in, by the way.
"It's no worries," he chirped. "Changmin and us? We go back pretty far, I'd like to think."
"Oh, cool! He mentioned something about that… and something about meeting the pack alpha?"
Kevin's eyes flickered to something behind you, and you turned around to see what or who it was on instinct. "It's nothing to stress about—he's coming this way, actually."
You felt his hand, warm and large, gently settle between your shoulder blades to guide you toward the two men making their way down the alley toward you both.
One of them… well you could feel the subtle shift in the air. It was as if molecules in the air moved for him. He boasted a powerful sort of stature, with dark hair parted neatly to frame a carved face. For a moment, you didn't know if you were supposed to bow or something, but then he smiled, and you nearly fell over from that alone. He wasn't so scary once he smiled.
The man next to him was a lighter brunette with a cheery expression engraved onto his face as if that were his default setting. There was something about him, however—you thought he glowed a little in the dim light. The angel blade in your pocket seemed to warm slightly at the sight of him.
(So was everyone just super attractive in the supernatural world?)
"Changmin-ah," greeted the man with darker colored hair. He clasped his hand with Changmin's in greeting. "It's been awhile."
"It has," your demon counterpart agreed. "Thanks for taking us in on such short notice. I wouldn't have intruded had I known."
The man brushed the thought away. "It's okay, really. Nice to have a couple new faces around."
"Speaking of new faces," drawled the second man. He beamed a pretty smile your way, waving. "Hi, little one."
Something warm blossomed in your chest. "Hi," you said softly. You weren't certain of etiquette—if you were expected to speak for yourself, to bow…
But it seemed Kevin had your back. He clasped his warm hand on your shoulder. "This is Yn. She came in with Changmin."
"Nice to meet you, Yn. I'm Sangyeon." This was the man with black hair, who felt like the tangible version of power. He must have been the pack alpha. He had to be.
The other man placed a hand on his chest. "And I'm Jacob!"
"We're just looking for a place to stay for the night," Changmin piped up. He tucked his hands into his pockets, eyes shifting over to yours.
"Well, why don't we head over to the pack house and we can talk about all the details of a plan," said Sangyeon. He inclined his chin in the direction of where you assumed the pack house was. Then his eyes, you watched their keen movements, latched onto Kevin's as if they were communicating silently. "Yn," you nearly jolted when you realized he was addressing you. "Kevin's gonna take you to the small inn we have here. It'll give you a little more privacy, and I'm sure you've felt pretty overwhelmed."
It didn't sound like he was asking you, but there was a warmth to his smile. You couldn't help but feel inclined to agree.
Changmin's head went on a swivel. "Wait, she's not coming with us?"
Haknyeon and Jacob were already rounding on either side of him to guide him in the opposite direction Kevin was leading you. Something in the back of your head made you turn over your shoulder to look at him. Was being separated such a bad thing?
Haknyeon suddenly tossed Kevin your backpack, the latter shouldering it.
"Come on, Yn," Kevin chirped, angling his body as he nudged you along so you could no longer see Changmin. "There's a lovely hearth in the main lobby, and the auntie who runs the place makes the best cookies ever."
You nodded slowly as your brain struggled to think of any reason why they would separate you from Changmin. And why did he sound so surprised? Your hand drifted toward the pocket that hid your angel blade. "Oh, really? That sounds nice."
They didn't drug them, did they? Your shoulders tensed at the idea.
Why did they separate you and Changmin—
The inn was the building right outside the alley with a porch that spanned the front facade. The architecture reminded you of an upscale cabin with large oak logs piled atop each other to make up the structure. A warm light emitted from the front windows and glass doors, and you swore you could smell the cookies from here.
When you and Kevin entered the building, he called out a greeting to an older woman stationed behind a reception desk in the back corner. She greeted the both of you with a cordial smile, wiggling her fingers in a wave. Her head tilted curiously at you, however, her eyes zeroing in on…
Your attention was drawn away and you were directed toward the seating area on the other side of the lobby.
"Can I get you any water or anything?" Kevin asked you as he motioned for you to take a seat in the armchair adjacent to him. He set your backpack at your feet for you.
You lowered yourself onto the edge of the seat, hand reaching for the pendant beneath your shirt—you stopped short. Could he sense the power of the pendant? Was that why they separated you from your demon bodyguard? Oh fuck—
"Hey, hey," Kevin suddenly said softly, face morphing into an expression of concern. "No need to get panicked, okay? You're safe now."
Wait. What? You wrung your hands in your lap, heart still throwing itself up against your ribcage. "Safe? What do you mean safe? Safe from what?"
Kevin considered you for a moment, but the gentleness from his voice and body language never left. "You're safe from Changmin."
"Safe from Changmin?"
"Yes," he affirmed patiently. "The bruises on your neck—"
Your hand went to cover the side of your throat where it had been pierced by the maw of a demon, but not Changmin.
"—does he feed from you? They look fresh—"
You immediately put your hands up to gesticulate in wild opposition. "Oh, no, no, no. He—he didn't feed from me; he saved my life, actually. We were attacked by other demons and I was bleeding out, and he just closed the wounds. He… he isn't, uhm… yeah."
Kevin's posture changed, and his smile became relieved—sheepish even. "Well, shit. I'm sorry for assuming, Yn; it's just that a lot of people end up here because they're in unhealthy relationships, and I saw the marks on your neck and just assumed the worst." He cupped the back of his neck. "This must have been really confusing for you. Sorry about that."
Okay, now that made a lot more sense. Your adrenaline was slowly teetering out and the tension left your shoulders. "No, please, that's honestly really nice that you would help victims like this. It did give me a little scare, but… yeah no, this wasn't Changmin's doing."
"That eases my mind a lot," he chuckled. Then he turned and nodded to the auntie behind the reception desk. You watched as she disappeared out the doors of the inn. "She's just gonna let Sangyeon know that everything's good."
"I thought you said you and Changmin go way back…?" Did they not trust him?
Kevin leaned back in his armchair. "We do. It's just protocol, you know? Whether or not we know them, it doesn't matter."
That was good for victims, you thought. Though, you couldn't imagine what they were really discussing with Changmin then… "So Changmin…"
"Sangyeon, Jacob, and Haknyeon would have taken care of him if I told them he was harming you," he replied, lips pressed together. "They really are talking about how you both ended up here though—that, and plans for the morning."
It was like he could read your mind.
A lot had happened just now, and you were still reeling from the fact that you didn't need to prepare to run. Though, you were still hyperaware of Clyde's warmth in your pocket.
Kevin noticed your far-off expression. He leaned forward onto his knees, that kind smile of his curling onto his face and making you feel some sort of woozy. "I know it's probably been a lot for you. Do you have any questions for me?"
He was so different from Changmin. While with the demon getting information was like pulling teeth, here was Kevin offering you information. They were polar opposites, really. You wondered what it might have been like if Kevin had been the one to take you on this quest instead—your mind shuttered. What a strange thought. Changmin might have been a pain in your ass in the beginning (and still now), but… it wasn't like he hadn't protected you. You didn't know.
"I guess," you started, "what's gonna happen now?"
He thought about it for a moment. "Well, uhm, I think we're both gonna find out once Changmin gets back. See what they've all decided on. But for sure, you and he will be able to shack up here for the night."
You gave a slow nod. "Is Sangyeon the pack alpha? Kind of a stupid question—"
"It's not a stupid question at all," Kevin said. "But yes, he's the pack alpha. You can just consider him as a community leader, essentially."
"And you're all wolf shifters?"
A nod, then he paused, tilting his head. "Yes, but Jacob's not a wolf shifter; he's an angel."
Your eyebrows flew up. Everything was suddenly making a lot more sense. "An angel? So he and Changmin aren't, like, mortal enemies or anything?" You hadn't noticed any wings on him…
Kevin laughed. "Oh, you're cute. No, thankfully they are not mortal enemies. Jacob's too nice to have enemies."
"Even someone like Changmin?" You jested.
"Even someone like Changmin," he said, humoring you. "Speaking of the demon, you two aren't…?"
You sucked in a breath. "Definitely not. We're not together or anything. It's a long story, but our meeting and traveling together is just because of a common goal." You couldn't tell why the thought of you and Changmin being an item made your heart cartwheel. Perhaps it was simply the anxiety of being thought of as Changmin's significant other that made you want to jump to correct that assumption. Yes, that was it.
Kevin bit his bottom lip like he was trying to hide a smile. "Ah, I see. That's good to know."
"And why's that?" You asked.
You could have sworn if he was in wolf form, his ears would have been tucked against his head. "Nothing!" He insisted. "It would just be a shame to not take a chance when it's presented, you know?"
You weren't quite sure what he meant by that, but for some reason, you were eager to find out.
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It was late still when Changmin knocked on your open door, lingering on the threshold. You had just stepped out of the shower in the private en suite your accommodations had, a towel settled upon your shoulders to act as a barrier between your wet hair and dry clothes. He didn't look any worse for wear—then again, he never did.
"Everything okay with Kevin?" He asked, clearing his throat. You felt his eyes on you, scanning your body as if searching for any signs out of the ordinary.
You were searching for your phone charger in your bag. "Yeah, it was good. What—what happened with you?" You asked and lifted your eyes to meet his as you fondled the cord between your fingers.
He stuck his tongue in his cheek. "Well," he drawled, "Sangyeon offered to send a small group out to scout for any signs of our pursuers from today. In the meantime, we're invited to stay here to recuperate for a couple days. If not, then they'll restock our supplies and help us out of here."
"I'm guessing you already made a decision." You paused when you realized there weren't any outlets in this room. Anywhere. A curse fell from your lips and you dumped your cord and dead cell phone into your bag.
"I figured you could use the rest," he said.
Your head whipped upward.
He arched a brow at you. "If that's alright with you."
Was he really asking you? No buts, no ifs, no snark? "Yeah, that's fine with me."
"Maybe a couple days here will be good for your frail, human body anyway."
There it is. You rolled your eyes so far back, you swore you saw your brain waving at you. "And maybe some fake demon sleep will make you less grouchy."
You thought he smiled. It could have been a trick of the light or sleep deprivation. "Whatever."
Just when it seemed like he was about to turn and leave, he stopped. "Kevin's taken a liking to you."
You stilled, attention piqued. "Really? How could you tell?"
Changmin gauged your reaction, and again, you couldn't quite tell what he was thinking. "You need to sleep."
"Wait, you're just gonna ignore my—and he's gone." You huffed and collapsed onto the bed. It was awfully comfortable.
Leave it up to Changmin to leave you high and dry like that.
You rolled over the surface of the bed to close your door. Quietly, you went around the room to close the knobs of the lanterns to put out the lights like Kevin had showed you earlier. The only light now came from outside the window, the campfire and lanterns in the pack center streaming through the shutters to create an elongated stripe pattern along the walls and floors.
You climbed into bed—it was a strange, but welcomed feeling.
Only a couple days without a bed, yet it felt like years had passed. You could only hope you didn't wake up to a demon at your throat this time.
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#7—THE ONLY ONE.
WOLVES BEAT EVEN THE SUN from her slumber, you came to find out. The next morning, you rolled out of bed to hear the sound of muffled voices outside your window. Your body ached in places you didn't even think they could ache, and you stretched your arms up over your head as you opened the shutters.
Just a little off from your window stood a small gathering of creatures, both in human and wolf forms. You recognized Kevin as one of the human ones among them. It was the noise of your open shutter that had him turning his head up toward your window. He saw you there, and a smile blossomed on his face, bright and easy. He wasn't wearing a shirt again, as was the other man standing beside him. The other two in their group were wolves.
Kevin waved at you, catching the attention of the others with him. The man beside him beamed and waved, too.
You chuckled to yourself and returned the gesture.
Kevin beckoned you down with his hand.
You searched the window sill for the latch, muttering in triumph when you managed to notch it open.
He had walked over to stand directly below your window by the time you stuck your head out. "Good morning!" He chirped. "Good sleep?"
"Good morning, and so far I think so," you mused, unconsciously smoothing down your hair. You hadn't even checked the state of your bed head. Yikes.
"There's breakfast in the pack house if you'd like," he offered. "I can walk you over?"
You leaned your cheek against your fist. "Sounds great. Give me some time to get ready."
"Take your time!"
You locked the window back up, dropped the shutters, and hurried to get changed. It occurred to you, as you were getting yourself prepped and primed to face another day in a new world, that you hadn't felt so giddy in awhile. And about a boy nonetheless. The skip in your step was crazy to you, and—did you even have anything nice to wear?
You just managed to yank one of the nicer of your graphic tees over your head when you heard a knock at the door.
"Just a second!" You called, carding your fingers through your hair and separating into three so you could braid it out of your face.
You ripped the door open. "Hi."
Changmin stood on the other side looking slightly refreshed with his dark hair damp and plastered over his forehead. His eyes narrowed slightly at your lightened countenance, the way you actually cared about how you were doing your hair, the… everything. He sent you a look. "Breakfast is in the pack house, but I have a feeling you already knew that."
"Yeah, I was just headed down, actually." You stepped out into the hallway with him, closing your bedroom door behind you. Clyde sat in your pocket, replacing where your phone would have been stashed had it any use.
He cocked his head to the side. "You seem a lot more…" He made a gesture with one of his hands. "Alive."
"Well, considering I don't have magic regeneration—"
"Forget I said anything," he said, shaking his bangs from his eyes and beginning to walk down the corridor toward his room. "Go get sustenance, Yn."
A small smile tugged at the corners of your lips. You watched him disappear into his room before you made your way to the stairs.
Kevin was waiting for you in the lobby, perking up when you appeared on the stairway landing and made your descent. He took a couple steps to meet you in the middle, and you noticed that he had found a shirt to put on. Damn. "Hope you like waffles," he said as the two of you fell into step beside each other to head out of the inn.
"Love 'em."
It seemed that the entirety of Moonstone Creak was awake, even at such an early hour. The sun had yet to even clamber up above the treetops, leaving the sky a soft mesh of purple and orange. The air was as fresh as it had been yesterday, cool and pure, washing your lungs and waking you up some more.
"Is everyone awake so early?" You asked him, inhaling as much of the peace as you could.
Kevin nodded. "Pretty much, unless you're just coming back from a night watch. We usually encourage the pups to come out and exercise with us."
"Us?"
"The pack's primary watch," he clarified. "You probably saw me talking to a few of them earlier."
"Ah," you hummed. "That's nice though. You're all such a lovely community… It's refreshing."
His eyes twinkled as he smiled at you. "Thank you. I like to think we're a really big family."
You could see as much. By the way Kevin greeted all of his fellow pack members, a part of you wondered what it might have been like to grow up somewhere like this instead of always chasing after safety and security.
You and your sister had always got by somehow, but it had never been like this. With your parents gone so early in both of your lives, you only really had each other to rely on, besides the occasional aunt and uncle who took turns caring for the both of you until your sister turned 18. And now with your sister gone?
For some reason, it felt like you were still taking care of her in death. But perhaps that was the cost of seeking closure.
You weren't sure what you were expecting when they said pack house, but what you saw was about what it sounded like it was going to be. It was similar to the inn and many of the buildings around the area with its log cabin likeness, but this one was much, much larger. You could hear the squeals of children from out here, and there were smaller wolves chasing each other's tails around the wraparound porch. A few stopped to sit and cock their heads at you as you passed, their tails tick-tocking behind them.
It was strange seeing wolves carry around infants and toddlers in their hulking jaws, too, and Kevin chuckled when you almost stopped in your tracks. "It's no harm to them, don't worry."
"Yeah," you laughed nervously, fingering the pendant at your sternum. "It'll take some getting used to. Are you born as a wolf or as a human?" You asked him as the two of you stepped up the front steps of the porch and walked through the entryway.
"Depends—woah, hey guys. Careful!" Kevin clicked his tongue as he caught and lifted one of the younger boys off his legs just before he accidentally knocked over a table holding a vase of flowers.
The kid and his friend giggled as Kevin put him down away from the table. "Sorry Kevin!" And they were gone, out the front door.
He shared a smile with you, cupping the back of his neck. "Where was I?" He gestured to your right down a hallway; you could smell the sweetness and buttery goodness of breakfast. "Oh, right. It depends: since wolves and humans are mammals, giving birth is a little easier than other non-mammal shifters."
"Non-mammal shifters?" Your eyebrows shot up. "What other shifters exist?"
"Any you can think of, to be honest," he said. "All pups learn about their own growth and development though, especially since learning to shift and stay in touch with both their animal and human sides is so integral. It would probably be better if I connected you with someone who identifies as female to talk about birth specifically though," he admitted.
The kitchen was painted a pale shade of yellow that reflected the golden rays of sun and made the whole room much warmer and brighter. There was a mishmash of wolves and humans milling about the central island where a buffet-style breakfast was being served. The variety of food before you was enough to make even—as you liked to think—Changmin's mouth water. (He didn't need to eat, your ass. You saw the blueberry pancakes on the far end and wondered if he had some yet.)
Kevin passed you one of the plates stacked at the end before grabbing one for himself. "Lily, thank you for breakfast!"
Lily, you identified, was the woman leaning against the sink with a pale blue apron tied around her waist and baby bump. "You're welcome! Haknyeonie helped out, too."
Haknyeon's blond head poked in from where he was partly hiding in the butler's pantry, his cheeks stuffed with food. "Hm?"
You laughed to yourself as you started off by transferring a waffle to your plate. "Yes, thank you so much for breakfast. It looks delicious."
"Oh, no need for that," Lily beamed as she came over to the island across from you and put more food onto your plate. "Take more, please. We have so much to go around."
"Oh," you blinked, watching Kevin start to pile things onto his own plate. "It's so much; I don't want to take more than I can finish—"
"I'll help you finish," Kevin offered, shoving a strawberry into his mouth. "I'm sorry if it seems like we're pressuring you, though. I guess we're all just used to making sure the other is fed around here."
You could melt like a slab of butter between two warm hotcakes. "Thank you—I appreciate the thought."
Kevin ruffled your hair as the two of you continued around your tour of the island. "Of course."
From the entryway you had just come in, Sangyeon arrived whistling an offhanded tune under his breath. "Good morning, everyone!"
"Good morning!" Chorused around the kitchen at differing intervals as everyone greeted their pack alpha.
Sangyeon beelined around the island and over to Lily, the two of them exchanging fond touches and a warm kiss in greeting. "Morning, love."
"Good morning," Lily said. "Eaten yet?"
The dots connected in your head and you nudged Kevin as the two of you finished up at the island. "Lily and Sangyeon—?"
"Yeah, she's our alpha female," Kevin confirmed. "Six months pregnant. They celebrated nuptials about a year ago."
"Ah." You didn't mean to stare, but they were such a beautiful couple. Though you thought Sangyeon's smile was warm, it was nothing compared to the one he saved just for his partner.
He must have felt your eyes on him, and he lifted his gaze to yours while he held one of Lily's hands. "Yn, sleep well?"
Your eyes widened. "Oh, uh, yes. Yes, thank you."
"All of your accommodations are to your satisfaction, I hope?"
"More than satisfied," you stammered with a sheepish smile; he was talking to you, right? Everything was way beyond what you had been living with for the past couple of days. A demon-infested motel or this? Well, no competition there. You could still feel the impression of Changmin's passenger seat in your back.
Sangyeon nodded. "Good, I'm glad to hear that. I was hoping to speak with you and Changmin after breakfast about your situation. It'll be with myself and my closest advisors, plus the two of you."
"Yes, of course," you said. "Does Changmin already know?"
"I'll have someone run and let him know."
You and Kevin were dismissed to go forth with breakfast. The two of you settled in a room next door to the kitchen fitted with a long dining table that reminded you of a cartoon rich people banquet table. You sat adjacent to each other, Kevin at the head, and you with the seat to his left.
You smeared butter over the slots of your waffle. "Do I have to worry about what Sangyeon's gonna talk about at the meeting?"
Kevin shoved his bite into his cheek. "To my knowledge, no, but if you're worried, Sangyeon's advisors are a pretty cool crowd."
"Oh yeah?" You asked.
His lips turned up as he chewed. "Mhm," he hummed before swallowing, "I should know since I'm one of them."
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Sangyeon had an office deep within the first floor of the pack house. It was tucked away somewhere between the living room in the back and the door down to the wine cellar. (Kevin joked that the first pack alpha had planned the layout of the first floor deliberately.)
Following your hearty breakfast, you found yourself seated in one of the armchairs in the leader's office chambers, amongst Changmin (in the chair next to you) and the other members of the so-called inner circle. Kevin lingered nearby, leaning against the office's hearth with his arms and ankles crossed idly. It seemed that the advising board included not just Kevin, but also Jacob, Lily, and someone named Juyeon. You learned that he was out on night guard when you came in last night, so you weren't able to properly meet him until now.
Sangyeon stood next to the office chair seated behind the grand, mahogany desk; Lily was automatically given the chair because of her pregnancy, and because she'd been working all morning. "Concerning the white sedan you said was trailing after you two yesterday—" he said, "—none of our scouts could follow a solid scent past the freeway entrance. It was interesting, actually."
Changmin leaned forward onto his forearms. "How so?" He asked, eyebrows creasing.
Sangyeon nodded to Juyeon, who filled in, "Well, we couldn't figure out what their scent is."
"How is that even possible?"
You blinked, brain whirring into overdrive. There was something you were missing yet again. What was the context here?
Kevin stepped over to your side and murmured to you, "We can usually pick apart scents to identify the layers, so this is why it's… concerning."
"Ah," you nodded. "Thanks."
"It was distinct for sure," Juyeon supplied with a vague gesture of his hands, "but it was nearly impossible to tell what species they were. It was easy enough picking apart the entity from the car smells—" Exhaust fumes, metal, seats, you assumed, "—and we could follow the smell as far as the entrance to the highway you guys came from, but…" He shook his head. "No-go. In all my years, I've never come across anything like it."
The helplessness that settled into the grooves of the room made you squirm, and your fingers fondled the red pendant at your collar again. Here was a space of the all-powerful, and yet, something as simple as a scent was throwing them all for a loop. You couldn't begin to wrap your head around the implications, because, well—you didn't know the implications.
(Dark. You were always sitting in the dark.)
Changmin passed you a glance, and you couldn't tell what he was thinking, as usual. "There has to be a way to somehow analyze it. Could we consult a witch?"
"I've already called an old friend," said Lily. "They're on their way over presently."
"Could I see the pendant?" Jacob's voice carried out into the room. Though he himself was soft-spoken, one could not mistake his volume. Everyone's attention cut over to you, and you wanted to be swallowed up by the earth beneath your feet. "If that's okay," he added. "It feels familiar."
"Feels?" You echoed, gripping the stone in your hand. The chain dug into the flesh of your neck as you anxiously yanked on it.
Changmin's eyes darted from the stone to you. "What do you think?"
"What do I think?" You were overwhelmed; that was what you thought. You fisted it in your hand, suddenly reluctant to part with the thing that had caused you so much trouble as of late. You felt… an uncanny urge to keep it in your possession. "Uhm… you can see it, but I won't take it off."
Your devilish counterpart narrowed his eyes slightly, cocked his head to the side, at your behavior. He didn't say anything though, as if this truly was just all your decision. Perhaps this was because he knew that you weren't exactly buddies with these people yet. In retrospect, they were still strangers, and thus, potential threats to you.
Jacob took easy strides over to you from where he was standing by the desk. He passed you a reassuring smile as he knelt in front of you, close enough that you could see the eyelashes brush his cheeks. There was something warm radiating from him, and you swore you saw a flash of gold in his eyes.
Angel, right.
He rose up on his knees, holding out his hand, but not touching you. "May I?"
You pinched the part of the pendant attached to the chain and stuck it out toward him.
Jacob's eyebrows knitted together as he touched the pendant with only the tips of his fingers. You held your breath throughout the entirety of his assessment. When he finally leaned back onto his haunches, you blinked away whatever angelic warmth still lingered. "Juyeon, come smell the pendant."
Your eyes widened. "Uhm—"
"Hold on, what?"
"Wait, Jacob."
The latter two responses came from Changmin and Kevin, respectively, the two startling at Jacob's request.
There was a swift exchange of glances between everyone else and the alpha wolves in the room.
Lily said, "Yn?"
"Why are we sniffing the pendant now?" You asked, finding your voice.
Jacob looked up innocently. "Sorry, I probably should have explained myself. I think it might smell like the scent Juyeon was trying to track."
Something in the room shifted. You glanced down at the pendant in your grip and the questions in your head accumulated and accumulated and accumulated. What in Hell did you get me into, Sena?
"Okay," you said, "you can… smell the pendant."
You weren't sure why he couldn't smell it from where he was, but he took a couple steps over to you and replaced Jacob's position. Changmin's hand appeared on the arm of your chair as he leaned forward slightly.
Juyeon took a cautionary sniff, and his eyes widened. "That's it. It's—it was slightly different, but similar enough where it has to be the same entity." He looked up at you. "Is this the only one of its kind?"
You met Changmin's eyes.
He looked away first. "No."
Your gaze became earnest in his direction, and if you could, you would burn twin holes in the side of his head like a snakebite. More shit he hadn't told you. Were you surprised?
No? What did he mean no?
"We need to talk," you forced out of gritted teeth, gripping onto the arm of his chair now.
He passed you a glance. Later.
"Well, we can only really assume that the person following you was most likely after the pendant," Jacob said plainly as he stood from the ground and dusted off his pants. "But now that we know the origin of the scent, per se, it'll make the hunt a little easier."
Sangyeon gave a bob of his head. "Kevin, you're leading the search party for the day."
Kevin's head perked up, hand on the back of your chair. "But—"
A single look from his leader made his mouth snap closed.
"Yes, sir," Kevin murmured with a shallow nod of acknowledgement. He gave the back of your chair a small pat, then departed without another word from the office. You thought you could feel his presence leave your side, from the room. All of this feeling… was this how the supernatural operated? Was this what a sixth sense entailed all along?
"Juyeon—" the man in question raised his head, "—go find where Haknyeon and Eric are." Sangyeon scratched his temple with a sigh that sounded suspiciously like exasperation. "Grab them and round up the pups."
Juyeon brightened. "Are we taking them down to the creak?"
Lily nodded her approval. "Ooh, nice idea. Yn and Changmin, you're both free to join us. It's lovely down there."
You forced your hand to fall away from the pendant, but not before tucking it back beneath the collar of your shirt. It felt too exposed out here, sitting on your sternum for all to see. You nodded though, trying for a small smile. "Sure, sounds nice."
Sangyeon patted the desktop. "Excellent! The two of you can continue to make yourselves at home."
Though this was a physical conclusion to the meeting, your stomach continued to sit uncomfortably. This conversation should not have been over so quickly… right? Was there not more to discuss? Perhaps not now then. Maybe it was better to take your time letting this all sink in.
"Ah, before the two of you go join the little ones," Jacob cut in. He shot Changmin a pointed look. "You owe me something."
Changmin roughed a hand through his bangs, but you could have sworn his lips curled up with a smile. "Aish… your memory."
"It never fails me when I need it."
You glanced between the two; Changmin did owe you yet another explanation, but if there was something these two planned to settle… "What? What is it this time?"
Jacob grinned, and you definitely hadn't been hallucinating when you saw flickers of gold in his irises. "He owes me a sparring match."
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a/n: i am clasping my hands in prayer for a reblog, comment, or ask. take a moment to grab a snack, drink some water, and head over to the second part! thanks for reading
read part two here (if it's not linked yet, refresh and it'll be at the top)
permanent taglist: @flwoie @vatterie @seomisaho @hqrana @ja4hyvn @tinkerbell460 @kaaimins @hyunjaespresent-deobi @otterly-fey @zzoguri @floatingpluto @winterchimez @ethereal-engene @gyulfriend @polarisjisung @jaehunnyy @shakalakaboomboo @loveliestfelix @bless-311 @zhaixiaowen @leaz-kpop-life @amourdsr @pxppxrminty @kqyutie @sseastar-main @kxthleen14 @fluorescentloves @mosviqu @justalildumpling @jaerisdiction @super-btstrash-posts @jundundun @http-gyu @mvvnsseul @outrologist @vernonburger @maessseongs @ericlvr @kflixnet
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yanbub · 3 years ago
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when it's the right person but it's the wrong time
childe, diluc, kazuha and xiao x gn!reader
hcs, sfw, angst, modern!au, cw: breakups, idk no comfort i think, 866 words
reblog pls unless u wanna lose ur 50/50 bc im jinxing u
note: love life goes brrr ig 😧 kazuha is. is based from true events and very long bc i have favoritism. always rmb that some men r just shit tho 💞 diluc probs doesnt make sense but i hate writing for him in a way so idm. not proofread, dont mind any stupid errors
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childe ;
it was a healthy relationship, sadly the timing for it wasn't exactly the best. you don't know how it happened, but things weren't working out for the both of you. it went wrong in many ways to the point you wonder how you get into a relationship. it wasn't a toxic relationship though, it's more like you both lost interest in one another and you both noticed it but went in denial. that's what caused you to have numerous arguments with childe, always yelling at each other when you call and in the end you'll just hang him up out of frustration with your feelings. you had second thoughts - had you truly loved him from the start? had he truly loved you from the start? you don't know at this point. all you know is that with one final call, you both ended things there and stopped communicating. it all went back to that one snowy night where you were still strangers to each other.
diluc ;
diluc was busy. he had always been, even before you met him he was already busy with many things. but he always made time for you, until lately he didn't. diluc always treated you right and you did the same for him, it's best to say that you two were in a very healthy relationship. so how could things just go wrong? maybe it's because you felt abandoned by him, or maybe it's because you were overthinking if diluc still held feelings for you. you refused to believe that you and diluc's relationship would go downhill. you two always fixed your problems with one another in the end - how is this situation any different from the past ones?
xiao ;
you were the one he trusted the most. the way you were always there for him always made him happy. but in this relationship, xiao was the problem. he didn't know how it all started but lately he felt like he wasn't deserving of you. hell, he even thought that you were just pitying him - but he knows you wouldn't be like that. how can your comforting words be an act of pity? so he believes that he himself is the problem. he's been dazing out recently, always seeming like he's in deep thought and when you ask him about it he'll say it's nothing. "liar." a voice in his head said. it took you a while to process what his words were on the day he finally decided to break up with you. you reached out to him, hand trying to grasp his but he pulled away, avoiding your gaze as you looked at him in hurt. you offered that you'll do better to understand him - to do better at loving him but he denied all of it. he wanted to have a break, to fix himself, to do better for you so he too can give back the love you give him. but in the end, you two really weren't meant to be in this time.
kazuha ;
you thought your feelings went platonic for him. but in truth you just fell out of love. kazuha did nothing wrong, you were the problem. he treated you well - always was by your side when you needed him and always would try his best to cheer you up if you're feeling down. you couldn't believe the fact that you fell out of love for him. so you insisted that your feelings just went platonic - you just can't accept how you fell out of love. kazuha noticed everything, how you've been acting distant lately, how you were getting a bit dry, everything was noticed by him when you didn't even realize it yourself.
and so you broke up, telling him how your feelings went platonic for him. "liar." you called yourself. but within at least 2 weeks later, you decided to say hi to him. you were nervous when you pressed send to a message that just said "hi" in your conversation with him. he was doing well thankfully, but you were a wreck. you hated how kazuha could still read you like a book, he asked if you were alright and you made him guess. and his guess was still accurate as ever - no, you weren't okay. you were a mess. 
as if nothing happened between you, he offered for you to rant at him like how he used to, which made you feel bad. how could you fall out of love for such a nice guy? he deserves better than this but he probably doesn't know it. you decided to just go off about work, saying how you were given too much work to do when it recently just started. you didn't know what he would say, but it just hurts even more when he offered to help you with it.
why, why was he still the same? did the past 2 weeks already make him get over what happened between you? even if you tried to fix things with him, you doubt it'll be the same. maybe, you two just really didn't work out for this time. and maybe you two were happier if things just didn't go wrong.
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hella1975 · 3 years ago
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Any tips for my first year at uni next year?
omg that's so exciting!!!!! i'll try help as much as possible but remember all uni experiences are different so my word is not gospel lmao <3
so because it's april you havent had your results yet right? (im assuming ur british bc ur asking me and u called it uni). so for starters - uni acceptances. i got rejected from THREE out of FIVE of my choices and it was literally my fault bc i genuinely filled out my ucas application wrong (i went to a really shitty college that just left us out to dry with EVERYTHING so im v bitter but oh well), and it was super super disheartening. especially bc my firm choice AND the one i would have put as my insurance were both part of the ones that rejected me. i really remember being out at my mates drinking in her garden (covid times too it was fucking FREEZING) when i got one of my emails from ucas, and i went to her bathroom to call my mum bc i was just so upset and WORRIED about it all. but you know what? it always works out, which brings me to my next point
THE SYSTEM IS DESIGNED TO ALWAYS WORK OUT! IT IS VERY FUCKING HARD TO FALL THROUGH THE CRACKS! THE GOVERNMENT WANT UNI GRADUATES! clearing is a godsend and no matter how arrogant your peers might act, you'll probs notice the MAJORITY of people wind up going through clearing. it's very very normal and it might seem scary on the day, but you will wind up getting in somewhere. i was lucky in that i wound up putting another of my options as my insurance and they gave me an unconditional offer, but almost everyone im friends with all came through clearing, and you know what? if i had the choice, i would pick the uni im at as my firm. life really has a way of working out sometimes and i genuinely love my life at uni. you will almost always get in somewhere, and even if it's not even in your top 3, you might find yourself loving it regardless. more comfortingly (or at least i found it that way) is that love it or hate it, this whole process being fucking MESSY is very very very normal
as for your actual results day, leading on from what i said, everything has a way of working out. im not someone who cries often and my family know that, but results day i was a fucking wreck. i didn't sleep at all the night before even though i knew for a fact that the grades wouldn't be up until 9am, and when i did get my grades back, they weren't at all what i wanted. the combination of my shit college and covid really fucked me over and my grades were not representative of me as a student at all. my results day was such a shambles that by lunchtime i still didn't even know what SUBJECT id be doing, let alone where id be doing it. my mum said she's literally never seen me that upset. and looking back, i would never have said to myself that i was worrying too much bc past me WOULD have clocked me in the face, but i was definitely worrying too much. i didnt even have to go through clearing in the end, and even if i had, id have been in the same boat as literally THOUSANDS of other people. i really hope your results day goes smoothly and you get the grades you want/need, but if it doesnt, just know that you're part of the majority and that the system is designed more towards this last minute aspect than it is towards the few that go through smoothly. just resign yourself to a long day of phone calls lmao. by the end of that day the uni operators literally RECOGNISED me. do you know how hard that is when they're receiving dozens of calls from all over the uk every minute?
as for actual uni!!! the biggest part of uni for a lot of people is the social life. i've literally seen it make or break people's experiences. i would like to start this by saying sometimes people do truly get unlucky. they dont find like-minded people simply bc there aren't any nearby. that aspect of uni is literally pure luck and im only telling you that to be honest, not to scare you. it's important to go into this new life knowing exactly what it has in store. loneliness is HUGE at uni and i wish id known more about it before i went, but ill talk about that in a sec. back to the social life, you HAVE to put yourself out there. maybe you're naturally extroverted which will help, but if you hate talking to people/putting in effort bc it makes you anxious/uncomfortable, then know this aspect of uni might be really difficult for you. those first few weeks are CRUCIAL (but not the end of the world mind) because EVERYONE is in the exact same boat. if you just remember that every single person there no matter how confident is just as terrified as you of not making friends, then you'll be fine. and when i said 'put yourself out there' i dont mean going out on the lash every single night (though freshers is fucking brutal if u do decide to join in), i mean little things. talk to your flatmates, make sure you get added to groupchats, dont hide in your room. i feel awful saying 'socialise even if it makes you uncomfortable' but ive just seen so many introverts who WISH they'd suffered a little more in those first few weeks if it just meant they'd be more involved, bc teenagers are still dumb. it's a lotttt better than at secondary and college, but teens are teens, and they're not gonna care what your reasons for avoidance are, they're just gonna see you avoiding them
the first few weeks are INTENSE. sometimes it's a good intense and personally it was the most fun id ever had at the time, but it also can be super overwhelming. one thing ive heard said quite a lot about uni is that the highs are SO much higher than being at home, but the lows are also a lot lower. ive never been happier and more comfortable in my life than i am at uni, but when i have bad days, it's honestly been the worst ive ever felt. im telling you this not to be like 'avoid mental illness' lmao, and more bc like i said earlier; before i came, i wasn't aware of the loneliness of uni or the scariness of its enormity, i just thought i was a baby who couldnt hack it. but people started talking and i looked online and low and behold, it's a universal thing. so dont beat yourself up if you get homesick or if the Big Uni Dream you had in mind doesn't always match up to what it ought to be
the first few weeks also are not the be all and end all. the flatmate i dont like that im now in a precarious friendship with (?) has been through MULTIPLE friendship groups and joined her latest only a few weeks ago, MONTHS into the year. things change and nothing is set in stone. if you feel you haven't made friends during freshers, then it isn't the end of the world
befriending your flatmates IS helpful, but it's not a sign of failure if you dont. i have nine other flatmates so personally i dont think i was EVER gonna get on with all of them, but im also not incredibly close with any of them, and they're not the actual group of friends i hang out with. it worried me at first, bc my sister (who's two years above me) got on SUPER well with her flatmates, and there's obvs the whole tradition of just getting ur second year house with ur first year flatmates. but honestly? it's really not a big deal lmfao. just dont fall out with them even if you hateeeee them (unless they do something that seriously warrants it) bc it's not worth it and remember you have to see them REGULARLY and ive seen shit get very very petty for some people
on the other end of that, flatcest is not just a haha funny joke. it is a HORRENDOUS idea. dont even think about it
try make friends on your course! even if you feel like you have a set group you're content with and you dont need anyone else OR if you dont want to make friends bc you're just there to do your lectures, it is still SUPER helpful from both a social and an academic standpoint. i genuinely would not be passing first year without my econ friends, and they also widen my social circle and get me invited to cool things i wouldnt normally know about (bc the thing with coursemates is that they're typically from other accoms whereas hanging with ur flatmates/people nearby means you're always in the same circles). it just makes things more fun, but i seriously cannot exaggerate the academic benefit either. dont be cocky!
give yourself set days to do things. your course might be PACKED and see you out of your flat every single day, but on the more likely chance that you have pretty big gaps and/or days off and/or your attendance is just shit (well in for uk first year grades literally not contributing to the final grade at all), then it's very easy for your mental health to slip bc you dont get out of bed. i LOVE my room, but it's also tiny and even a fucking palace would drive you mental if you were there day in day out. when my mental health got really bad, i had to start scheduling myself just to make sure i left the flat. spoons is on monday. coffee shop day is friday. laundry and food shop is on sunday etc. it might seem stupid but it really helps
idk if this was just me but i saw it happen with my friends too, so just........ be careful with your family relationships. i hope you're really close with your family (if you're not you can ignore this point lol) and i am too, but uni reallyyyy strains that relationship no matter how close you are. for me, things really got tense between me and my mum, and im not trying to scare you so i will admit we had some problems before i left, but just to repeat UNI STRAINS HOMETOWN RELATIONSHIPS. be that family or friends, if you want to keep what you have with them, MAKE SURE YOU KEEP PUTTING EFFORT IN
have fun! work hard! uni isn't supposed to be a bad, terrifying thing. i love it so so so much AND im doing a course i hate so that's really saying something. it's the best decision i could have made and i dont regret anything, even when it all went wrong trying to get here lmao. it's truly the independence i needed to flourish and the little life ive made for myself makes me genuinely so so happy to the point ive caught myself walking past my kitchen or through the accoms or to my friend's coffee shop and smiling like 'wow, that's mine. this is mine'. it's such a cool feeling to know that, after your entire life has been spent determined by the input of like parents and siblings and shit, you can finally just fucking do what you want
good luck anonstie, im rooting for you!
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stuffoverthechocolate · 1 year ago
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Adding to this with my main instead of my writing account (where most of my dcmk stuff is associated with), bc I'm about to point fingers and I do not trust shippers. But before I do that, I'm gonna say it probably has a lot to do with ppl coming from the detco side of fandom never having ever touched anything related to mk (where most of the saguru lore is located bc he's not a detco side character, he's an mk side character), so as a detco person, most of ur perception of saguru would come frommmmm u guessed it! Ding ding ding! Fanart and fanfics. And saguru's only ever showed up twice. TWICE. In detco. And that was 17 yrs ago. So ... Uh, yea, like I said seidcat, there's just not that much info on the guy in the first place (IF youre a detco only person).
(another small thing is that I'd like to point out that BOTH heiji and saguru were shitty, only a lil bit tho, to each other in that koshien arc. And it's not a big deal by the end of it, bc they're just chillin' by the end. But most fandom remembered saguru being shitty, AGAIN just a lil bit, bc this is a detco story. So it focuses more in detco casts, which includes heiji, and how Conan reacts to them, bc he's the protag. So it shows more of what goes on inside heijis head after the criticism he got, him reaching out to Conan when doubting himself (bc this detco and CONAN is the main character and heijis his friend and side character), etc etc etc. But everyone forgot how when they first met, literally everyone except Conan doubted sagurus qualifications as the shinichi-replacement, ESPECIALLY heiji (for obvious reasons) and basically put saguru in the outsider category like immediately (which justified baayas defensiveness and her emotional reaction to needing to prove to people that he's just as good as other teen detectives)... But this is detco, so it's literally not about saguru, lmao. I said small thing and went on a whole schpeal)
And now, for the part of this rb that might get me assassinated in my sleep. The pointing fingers part. This is gonna be more of a personal story, focused on fandom. So yes, we're done with canon and canonical evidence. We are in fandom, fandom culture, and my exp in fandom. When I first got back into dcmk, I didn't get back into dcmk, not really. I was more of a detco fan. Always was, prob always will be. I grew up with detco, and only knew mk existed like 5 yrs ago when I got back into the fandom. Of course I have my fave ship and fave character by then. No, it was not hakukai. It eas, uh, ykno, THE BIGGEST SHIP in the dcmk fandom. I'm not even gonna type out the name in case that puts me in the search result, but if ure in the fandom, u know exactly which ship I'm talking about. So! Like any other times I joined a fandom and have a ship I like, I get on AO3 and start binge reading. It wasn't hard, there's so many to read, it's great, life was great. ...except... Except for one small thing... Just... Just one tiny thing... My fave ship was THAT ship... But my fave character? The one character I loved most out of all dcmk? Hakuba Saguru. Now I haven't checked the ship tag recently, so maybe attitudes have changed (lmao, not likely considering how the cn fandom is losing their shit rn and going on a hate parade bc of the recent announcement). But back then? Back when I was binge reading all the fics I can click on for my fave ship 5 years ago? Oh... Oh it was not a good time to love saguru and ALSO ship THAT ship. Almost EVERY. SINGLE. FANFIC. that remembered he existed casted him as the villain. I wish I was fucking kidding. I really fucking wish I was. Either he was intentionally malicious, or unintentionally malicious but stupid, or he was both. Or the was some jealous possessive one dimensional ass villain pull straight out of some bad romance story. And even if the authors were merciful enough to not cast him as a villain, but only a stupid idiot? Well, op's description was exactly how he was written. Again, maybe things changed, but that wasn't what it was like 5 yrs ago. And within the one month of me getting back into dcmk, one month of binge reading like over 20+ (if not more) fanfics, that was being put out at the time bc I browsw by latest update and not by kudos, just one month. One month of me seeing how much everyone in my ship hated my favorite character. I had to give up. Give up the ship. Bc there was no way for me to find any story with my fave ship that also have my fave character existing as a harmless npc in the background. If I wanted to find fics that was nice to my fave, my only option was hakukai (there's other options, but this was one with the most content). Bc there's almost 0 saguru-centric fic with no relationship focus. The only way I can get any content that doesn't have hate against saguru was hakukai. So.
I pointed my finger.
But that was 5 yrs ago (I say this like the passage of time doesn't matter. It does, bc everything that was created back then laid foundation to how ppl perceive characters now, even to this day. The foundation was laid by ppl who think of saguru as a villain and wrote and made art of him being that way. So that's how he's seen now, to this day. And I don't see that changing any time soon. The old guards have already left their mark, and it's a VERY deep mark).
That said THE BIGGEST SHIP shippers of eng fandom hold no candle to the cn shipper fandom lmao, jesus, my cn told me about recent reactions to sagurus comeback and that side if the fandom is fucking insane. I was right to be scared of them lmao.
Okay i legit know very little about Hakubara but why is he like the friend that everyone in the friend group hates expect for the person that is like everyone’s best friend (Shinichi)?
 (Legit Kaito and even HEIJI???? hate this fucker? What he do? Who he killed? ToT) Until I see him in canon this is how I am going to think about the Gosho’s boys dynamic till then lol 
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cattles-bians · 3 years ago
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damie vibecca exes au part 21
post directory
em: viola and becs love their lil hikes
em: oh actually did we already designate hiking as a damie thing
em: hmm.
em: yknow what damie and vibecca can both enjoy their weekend hikes
em: they bring isabel and she’s RUNNING up the path and tires herself out in 10 minutes and rebecca and viola swap out piggybacking her
obsetress: yeah it tracks because they both like fitness and viola likes her walks
obsetress: plus viola's like "it's good for isabel"
em: vibecca power lesbians love the challenging trails and damie just enjoy the sights
obsetress: dani venting to jamie one night: they don't even LIKE hiking, but they still had to do the blackjack loop, and WE won't even do the blackjack loop,
em: dani and her fanny packs... every time she sees isabel on a trail she like
em: stuffs her pockets w granola akdhdkfhdj
em: drives viola NUTS she’s like we packed our Own snacks
obsetress: dani gets SO excited
---
obsetress: man i love these lil gay bitches
obsetress: no but um
obsetress: jamie gets in some fight w rebecca early on after they've reconnected
obsetress: prob about her dating vi tbh
obsetress: and jamie's so put off by the whole thing and is ranting to dani about it and dani's all like "you just need to have better boundaries, jamie, they're her choices, aren't they? not yours"
obsetress: and jamie just stares at her like.........................................
obsetress: "dani, you literally continued hooking up with viola for weeks after you broke up"
"oh, c'mon jamie, it wasn't weeks"
"no?"
"it was months"
em: dani shooting herself in the foot to like. correct jamie is so funny
em: not even ‘no that’s different’ or ‘no i’ve changed’ like ‘actually it was months’
obsetress: she says it w such a lil pleased smile on her face too
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obsetress:
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obsetress: like who the FUCk gave her the right???
obsetress: a whole babe
obsetress: she didn't need to smirk like this
em: god she’s so Hot
obsetress: just think about all the times she and viola get into the banter
obsetress: and this exact face
em: i know we veered dramatically into soft territory w exes au but vi extremely stubborn lloyd and rebecca lawyer do no harm take no shit jessel truly. have some spectacular arguments
obsetress: they have absolute blowouts
obsetress: and then blowouts after the blowouts iywkim
obsetress: like dani's do no harm take no shit but she and vi also enable the SHIT out of each other
em: like dani tried but dani wasnt like. fully baked yet
obsetress: yeah! and then when she finally does and breaks up with her, she's back in her bed a few weeks later
obsetress: rebecca is the first person to not take viola's shit and to tell her no and viola can't fucking stand it
em: jamies convinced it’s a ruse for more make up sex
obsetress: dani's like "no, babe, trust me, i know what that looks like and this––"
"wot"
"what?"
em: dani (hushed) no she’s regular mad this isn’t fun mad
em: jamie (hushed but incredulous) FUN MAD?!
obsetress: please tell me how dani explains fun mad
em: a lil eyebrow waggle and a wink but then i like
em: thought abt her going to lift jamie up on a bench ‘well she kinda’
---
obsetress: the way rebecca looks at peter when he is (seemingly) (unfortunately) good w the kids has me thinking about like
obsetress: rebecca seeing vi w isabel for the first time and just
em: turns out the evil landlord shes banging is also…… soft
obsetress: rebecca and jamie on the phone and rebecca's like "i know she's... a landlord and all, but you should've seen her with isabel"
"you've gotta be fucking kidding me, becs––"
"no, maybe you're too quick to write her off. maybe people can be more than one thing"
and jamie just groans
em: poor jamie and her class traitor ex gf
em: blows kiss to rebecca
---
em: dani: i gotta go to the bathroom i’ll be right back
em: jamie: ok love
em: dani; (elbows jamie) ive Gotta Go To The B
obsetress: screamed
obsetress: dani trips over her own feet as she gets up to go
obsetress: then i just start thinking about dani absolutely pouncing on jamie the second they get into the bathroom and then i just start thinking about. how often that happens
obsetress: bathrooms or closets or wherever else
em: dani has this 6th sense for places to sneak off to
obsetress: god she DOES
obsetress: she's so good at it
em: she enters a new building and is taking lil notes just in case
obsetress: meanwhile rebecca and viola exchanging a look while they wait, knowing EXACTLY where they're going
em: viola leaning in like how much time do we have and becs is like vi. where’s your decorum
em: then she looks down at her watch and lists it down to the second
obsetress: she pauses
obsetress: then
obsetress: "and another six minutes if––" and vi's like "she'll want to go again"
em: viola buffing her nails on her blazer: she’ll want to go again
obsetress: rebecca rolls her eyes but she's grinning
obsetress: "you're all too smug" "me? smug?" becs just shakes her head and tugs her in by the lapels of her blazer
em: damie coming back to a fairly chaste vibecca kiss: BLEH can you guys GET A ROOM
obsetress: rebecca's just verly placidly like
obsetress: "dani, your zipper is still down, by the way"
em: dani; thanks :)
---
em: dani clayton voice i’m braver and severely Weirder than ppl think
obsetress: she's a bit of a weirdo
em: see now i’m thinking about dani glancing away going dang i thought i was keeping it under wraps
obsetress: ngl i think about that a lot like
obsetress: she IS a weirdo but what does jamie know
obsetress: that she's like yeah she's a fucking weirdo
obsetress: like she's anxious and jumpy but jamie wouldn't call that weird
obsetress: what did she know and when did she know it
em: i’m thinking about jamie catching dani doing something like. idk eating a burger layer by layer or w a knife and fork and going
em: what a freak. i’m gonna marry her
em: dani tells jamie no this is a normal american thing and then when they go to vermont jamie realises no this absolutely is not
obsetress: she says something about it and dani doesn't even remember saying it in the first place
obsetress: "i didn't say that"
"you literally did say that"
"why would i say that"
(jamie taylor eyebrow raise) "you tell me"
(dani clayton flush and stutter) "i–– i..."
em: dani mumbles something like i didn’t think it’d pan out like this i just wanted the cool gardener to think i was. semi normal
em: jamie waggles her eyebrows like cool gardener???
obsetress: dani bumps her shoulder into jamie's "shut up"
"don't think i will, actually"
em: jamie starts to v seriously eat her burger layer by layer. danis like ‘ur taking the mick!’ and jamies like (sheepish) naw i just. wanted to see what it’s like
---
em: every so often they’ll run into someone who went to school w jamie or knew her as a youth and they’re like ‘wow you’ve mellowed out heaps’
em: therapy queen
em: theyre in a pub and someone’s like ‘as i live and breathe! jamie taylor! i heard you died! someone told me you were arrested for (crime that becomes bigger and more outlandish w every new person)’ and jamies like ‘aye’ and they’re like
em: all sharing a beer at a quaint little pub n this old acquaintance from before has these v chaotic stories and danis like
em: jamie? my jamie? u must be confused. jamie goes to bed at 9:30pm watching antiques roadshow
obsetress: jamie just grins a lil
em: danis like haha jamie wow ur so mysterious and (she is already casing the joint for places to sneak off too)
---
em: damvibecca sittin in a circle passing a joint around
em: a nice thought
obsetress: Wholesome
obsetress: dani falls asleep first, with her head in jamie's lap and they're all just kinda vibin and rebecca gets up to get her a blanket or smth and vi's just kinda like
obsetress: "you're really good for her, you know"
obsetress: all quiet and pensive
em: jamie takes a loooooonng pause and she’s like. i was sceptical but. you’re good for becs too
em: and then even quieter she’s like
em: thanks
em: the softest thank u from one jamie taylor
obsetress: rebecca gets back and looks back n forth between the two of them
"why are you two being weird"
"we're not–- what?"
"we're just sitting here, baby"
obsetress: rebecca narrows her eyes
---
obsetress: jamie likes vi for becs because vi reminds her to live a little
obsetress: and can also keep up with her temperament because holy shit did jamie hate all of becca's bougie shit
em: jamie absolutely has um
em: like a repairs pile that shes gonna get around to Some Day re fixin clothes etc and
em: as much as i love 'rebecca and jamie worlds most calm and collected no drama couple' im defs toying with like
em: their ONE Big fight is beccs throws out the repairs pile
obsetress: "i was gonna––"
"no you WEREN'T, jamie!"
em: jamies like i The Tool I Needed is outta stock i had to- and becs is like? what, like you couldnt make do?
em: and even then when the heat dies down its still v calm and civil but like
em: FINALLY a lil dramatic angle to jamie rebecca
em: dani loves the repairs pile bc she loves a project
obsetress: she's also very content to let jamie have her silly little thing
obsetress: because it doesn't bother her and jamie is very good at keeping it in her space
obsetress: rebecca asks her about it one day and dani's like "oh i'm just glad she has a hobby :)"
em: couple times jamie's like. shes been tryna repair this one chair for months and eventually shes like
em: (swings axe) winters coming
obsetress: dani just watches with the dopiest grin
obsetress: jamie's all wot
obsetress: and dani's like
obsetress: :) you're hot :)
em: danis like hey i know its a brisk autumn but um
em: if u wanna
em: mimes taking shirt off
obsetress: jamie does it
obsetress: jamie rolling her eyes as she unbuttons the top couple buttons then tugs her shirt over her head
obsetress: but she's grinning
obsetress: dani sneaking up behind her as she's sorting the wood and just leaning into her bare back
obsetress: jamie jumps "oi!" and dani grins and nuzzles between her shoulders
---
obsetress: been having so many becca feelings in our rewatch
em: oh gosh
em: i love her she truly is a tragic character
obsetress: same
obsetress: i just want her to live happily ever after in her lil power lesbian outfits with her lil power lesbian wife
obsetress: like she needs someone who can MATCH her
obsetress: her energy and her intensity and her passion
obsetress: and like she and jamie can push each other to be better but jamie’s just kinda like “lemme chill n do my gay little tasks” yknow
em: ya and like they Worked but they worked Much better as friends than anything romantic
em: jamies the lesbian best friend that’s like girl. stop settling for mediocre men with accents
obsetress: yeah!
em: jamie ‘how soon is too soon to ask out my good friend rebecca jessel after her v messy break up w peter quint’ taylor
em: and then rebecca ends up being the one like ‘have you ever thought about us?’ while jamies agonising over it like four months later
em: rebeccas a little go getter and jamie needs a little bit of a shove sometimes
obsetress: jamie, surrounded by three shovers,
obsetress: rebecca says it so casually over dinner like she’s talking about the weather and jamie’s like !?
obsetress: i can also see like
obsetress: rebecca says that bit about "have you ever thought about us" at dinner and jamie blanches and second guesses everything they do "is....... is this a date" becca just shrugs "do you want it to be?"
em: jamies motormouthing like ok but i cannot stress enough that i was comforting you about ur break up in a friend way no ulterior motives way i am ur friend first and foremost and rebecca just like
em: lets her get it out of her system
em: ‘well what about my ulterior motives’
obsetress: she WOULD
obsetress: "did you ever consider that maybe i had ulterior motives"
em: jamie: (pursing her lips, furrowing her brow that way she does) you had a messy break up with peter quint….. to seduce me.
em: rebecca: mmhmm
obsetress: jamie: me?
obsetress: rebecca: well, maybe a couple of reasons, but... yeah. you were up there
---
em: after i asked out [ex] i spent ages agonising over when it would be appropriate to kiss her (i know...) and then one night at a party she’s like ‘so why haven’t u kissed me yet?’ and i’m like are u fucken. mate it takes two to tango
obsetress: oh my god?
em: drawing from that
em: jamie thinks they’re taking it slow (but not that slow) and rebecca is like girl what
em: ‘i never took you for old fashioned’
‘wot, me?’
'mmhm’
‘old fashioned?!’
‘well, you haven’t kissed me yet-‘
‘you haven't kissed me! i figured you wanted to take it slow after p-‘ and then rebecca like full on dips jamie and kisses her
em: rebeccas like always wanted to do that at least once lol
em: jamie is speechless for a couple minutes
obsetress: rEBECCA
---
obsetress: thinking thoughts rebecca jamie same height but rebecca heels
obsetress: jamie looking up @ her all
obsetress: rebecca in her heels and is chilly and jamie getting up onto her tip toes to wrap her big coat around rebecca's shoulders
em: softtt
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