#if i did then a) tell me b) ignore this lol

[camgonzalezart]

Okay, so a lot of cool shit is happening in C3 right now but can we please discuss this because I feel like I'm going insane...

Either the campaign ends or the world does.

Like there's no way this keeps going if the succeed, right? If we save the day? If everything is just hunky-dory and we ride off into the sunset then that's it! I mean I know the episodes are only in the 50s and BH are just lvl 8 so it seems to early but a lot of the character arcs could be considered wrapped, or at least wrapped enough to end (looking at you, Campaign 2). Not to mention, what else are the Hells gonna do after this that is more epic, more high stakes, more narratively satisfying? Story-wise it just doesn't make sense to continue...

Unless Ludinus succeeds at least somewhat and we got another Calamity on our hands.

The 3 campaigns have already explored a lot of Exandria as it is, and we know Matt has no qualms about breaking his setting beyond recognition. Just look at Emon. This does seem like a potentially really cool step forwards. They established in EXU Calamity how much the world can change because of an Apogee Solstice, so let it happen. Release Predathos at the very least. Hell, while we're at it, break the other divine lattice and free all of the gods-good, bad, and in between!

We already have the threads of all 3 campaigns converging on this one plot thread, so not only would that give BH more to do to continue their adventure (maybe break into Aeor to find a solution as ancient as the Malleus keys and dive into FCG's story, or finally get Ashton in front of someone who knows what Dunamancy is or what the Hishari were up to) but it could also set up stuff for VM and TM9 to do as well, either as NPCs or in their own appropriately high-level one shots.

It sounds nuts but right now it's the only way I can see to keep the story going. Anyone else thinking this?

[strawberrymatchawhore]

p power

rafe cameron

“take it from him and i leave him with nothing”

summary- john b cheats on you with sarah cameron you get revenge by getting with her brother

warning- DUBCON, sex under the influence, raw sex (wrap it folks), drinking, smoking, partying, fighting, sex tape (reader knows hes recording but doesnt know he sent it to her ex), semi public beach house sex, meanish pussy drunk rafe lol

you took a hit of your pen, gently coughing from the amount you just inhaled. you were currently in your boyfriends room, confronting him. you had caught john b cheating on you with sarah cameron, kook princess and someone you thought was your friend.

“can you not do that in my room? take this seriously.” john b said swiping his hands in the air to get rid of the cloud puffs floating. you scoffed, the audacity.

“i dont give a fuck about what youre asking for me to do right now john b, you cannot be for real about me taking this seriously.”

“i dont know what to tell you, she was going through something. she needed me.” john b gave his bullshit excuse which made you even more angry.

“what about me, did you even think about me for one bit before you decided to fuck her ?” you screamed at him, getting up from the couch ready to leave the room. as you have your hand on handle, john b grabs it. his large hand covers yours.

“i love you.. please” he pleads, eyes getting wetter.

“dont touch me with that dirty ass hand john b, i shouldve known. no matter how much i showed my love for you, no matter how much i cared. you will always choose her.” you gritted through your teeth.

“i-”

“no, its okay. im done with this shit.” your voice cracks and you slam the door in front of john b's face, driving away with tears blurring your vision.

AT THE PARTY

you strut your way into the party, the annual bonfire that happens the same week every year. you grab a pink solo cup and fill it to the brim with jungle juice. you had already pregamed before and begged your friend to drive you here, laughing at yourself when you caught yourself tripping over the pile of beer cans on the floor. obvious that you were feeling the effects of the weed and alcohol combining.

you were tired, physically and mentally, you couldnt deal with anyones bullshit anymore. especially after what happened earlier in the day, you just needed a break.

“what are you doing here ?” you heard a voice question from behind, you turned and saw rafe cameron looking at you up and down.

“oh hey rafey, nothing honestly just trying to forget shit you know ?” you down the rest of your drink and turn again to retrieve another cup. before you can take a sip out of it, it gets knocked down by rafe. who angrily walks over to john b and sarah cameron who were conversing with each other in the corner.

oh shit

“the fuck are you doing bro? chill.” john b says and backs up. sarah tries to intervene by calling his name and you just stand there interested in what was about to happen.

“you feel good about yourself ??” rafe pushes john b, getting ready to instigate a fight. you fight the urge to run up and defend your man. but you stayed still.

this is what he deserves

sarah cameron stops her brother in his tracks and tries to stop him, he ignores her.

oh yeah try to get him to stop, cheater.

“looks like you got my sloppy seconds... good luck with that. shes a real handful” john b insensitively says, rafe continues his way toward him. and within a second throws a hard punch to his face. john b falls to the ground and rafe looks over him.

“you like that shit johnny ? huh ?” he moves and hovers over john b's body, and continues to beat him unconscious. kiaras dad finally pulls them apart, and you walk over to rafe checking to see if he was okay. sarah starts to angrily push rafe, but he doesnt budge.

“sarah you better stop that shit before you end up on the ground just like john b.” you glared at her angrily and pushed her away before gently grabbing rafes arm and walking away with him.

……..

“jeez rafe you really fucked him up…” you said while wiping the blood off his knuckles with disinfectant. he winces when you finishes it off with ointment.

“yeah i dont know what i was thinking, i just.. its just that he pisses me off so much an-” rafe drunkingly rambled, you hesitated. but then losing to your own thoughts you grab his face and kiss him. you quickly pull away fluttering your lashes, mouth slightly open. taking short deep breaths in and out, nothing but the sound of waves crashing could be heard.

“fuck im sorry.” your voice cracked, tears forming in your eyes. you even shocked yourself with that action, moving your hand from your face you fidget with your bikini top. rafe then gently grabs your face and makes eye contact, kissing back but with more passion. everything in the room starts to blur and your focus is only on him. he pulls away and begins to hover over you. cornering you further into the plush couch.

“nah don’t apologize.. just kiss me back” rafe whispers into your ear making his way down to your neck, giving it light kisses and sucks. his hands wander around your body, you begin to grow desperate and grind yourself onto his thigh, hands rubbing his back. you grabbed his hair to pull him closer to you, he groans in response.

"you dont understand how badly i want you.." he kisses you deeper.

"..how badly i wanted to do this." he backs up and takes off his shirt, his abs and buff body glistening from the ocean water combined with the low light of the moon. he lowers himself and his hands reach for your bottoms, untying them then tossing them onto the floor.

your breathing hitches when you feel his cool breath on your pussy, rafes arms grab at your thighs and spread your legs open.

"oh fuckkk" you lightly moaned when you felt his tongue on your clit making slow but rough licks. rafe laughs and moans into you, sending vibrations throughout your whole body. he looks up at your and makes eye contact with your glossy glazed over eyes.

"you taste so fucking good." he continues to lap at your juices, you looked at the blonde. dazed and memorized by how pretty he was. forgetting all your worries and troubles because of how good he worked his mouth. it was over for you when you felt his fingers prod at your entrance.

the combination of his long thick fingers sliding in and out of your wet pussy and his mouth on your clit drove you over the edge.

"fuck, you gonna cum f'me? please cum baby." he slurps and fingers you faster, your chest heaves up and down before you cum all over his face and make a mess. but rafe doesnt stop there, he removes his fingers and uses both his arms to hold your legs open. continuing to eat you out.

"oh my go- fu- please.. too much! rafe please sto-" you mewl trying to close your legs to no avail.

"uh uh stay still f'me" rafe tuts, eventually he stops and gets up, his mouth and chin dripping with your juices. he grabs your jaw and kisses you before taking off his shorts, the classic calvin klein banding accentuates his v line and you could see his bulge.

you sit up and your fingers hook at the band and pull his boxers down, immediately his cock springs up and hits his stomach. your eyes widened.

"its not gonna fit." you say, his tip is leaking with precum and you fight the urge to swallow him whole right then and there.

"dont worry it will." his hand pushes you back down and he uses his knees to spread your legs. rafe starts to rub himself up and down your pussy, circuling his tip around your clit. and you let out a satisfied hum. he was fighting the urge to just shove himself completely inside you and fuck you deep into the couch. rafe eyes your phone, and leans over to grab it.

he hovers the phone over your face and unlocks it, opening your messages app. he clicks on john bs contact and sees that he left 30+ texts, laughing at the idiot rafe then clicks on the camera feature.

“rafe w-what are you doing?" you asked, closing your legs shyly. your eyebrows furrowing in confusion.

"dont worry, just trust me." rafe responds, leaning down to kiss you sloppily before he pressed record on the camera. using his free hand to push your thighs apart he moves the camera closer to your bodies, your lower body and his are in view. rafe then uses his fingers to spread your lips, showing the camera your slick. he slides two fingers inside you and gives it a few pumps before he removed them.

"open up f'me." he gently taps your cheek and slides the two fingers into your now open mouth. his long fingers caressing your tongue, automatically you start to suck his fingers. cleaning them.

"thats it... good job baby." he admires the way your plump swollen lips wrapped around his fingers, at this point his cock was aching in need to pump you full of his cum. he must have you.

"please rafe.. need you." you whined and looked up at him, watery eyed and pupils blown. you desperately moved your hips, and thank god he started to rub your aching pussy with his cock again. the both of you were hungry and needy. gentle whines filled the room, and rafe eventually slid himself in.

"oh fuck." rafe dragged out, slowly pushing deeper and deeper inside you.

"youre so tight, holy shit. mmmmm." bottoming out he stayed there for a moment to let you adjust. he was so long and thick, you felt every vein on it in your walls. you seriously had nothing to say, no words could have been let out to describe what you were feeling right now. pure ecstasy.

the both of you continued to say nothing as rafe sped up, drilling harder and faster into your wet pussy. his balls slapping against you ass, nothing could be heard besides moaning and the sound of his rough thrusts. you could barely see anything aside from rafes figure but you were sure that his back and biceps were now covered in scratch marks from you. the bright flash of the camera blinding you, you've never been filmed like this before. and the thought of you being slut out on camera made you even more wet.

"such a good fucking slut for me, youre takin' me so well." his free hand gripping tight on the fat of your hips to guide himself against your sweet spot.

"oh FUCK!" you let out a combination of a moan and scream when he continued to hit that spot, the knot in your stomach growing tighter.

"does your ex fuck you like this?" he slows down his pace, but you were too fucked up to respond.

"huh?" he asked and slid out just to snap hips back into you bringing you back to reality.

"no! oh fu- youre so much bigger.." you moaned, your pussy leaving a white ring at the base of rafes cock.

"yes yes yes. ah!" you whined when he sped up, which you didnt think was possible. rafe was pounding you so hard you were seeing stars. your hand went to cover your mouth but rafe slapped it away, and put it on your lower stomach.

"dont do that i wanna hear you moan f'me."

"you feel that?" rafe asked, you could see his cock bulging from your stomach.

"god- squeezing me so fucking tight..." rafe grunted, and lowered his hand to rub circles on your clit. your mouth slack and open, boobs bouncing up and down from rafes thrusts.

rafe wasnt even sure if he was getting all of this on frame, he was jackhammering into you like he hated you. he relished in the way your cunt clenched around him like you were made for him. and he was sure you were. all perfect, pretty and stupid for him.

"rafe i feel like im gonna pee, stop!" you screamed out and gripped his bicep. your stomach burned in pleasure and you felt like it was going to explode.

"pl-please oh my god, oh... my"

"thats it baby, squirt all over my fucking cock. youre so pretty like this." your eyes started water even more, he was fucking you so good you stared crying. overwhelmed with all sorts of emotions and feelings.

"so cute when you cry for me, if you keep doing that im gonna cum inside you." embarrassed you turn your head away and shake your head, the squelching and sight of your cunt was so sloppy and messy. rafe gripped your jaw and forced you to look at the camera.

"open your eyes sweetheart, keep looking at me." his fingers made their way down to your throat and squeezed.

"fuck." he whimpered, rafe has never done that before. the both of you were shocked but youve never been turned on this much.

"mmm keep doing that, you sound so fucking hot rafe." you urged him.

"im gonna cum, can i cum inside you? please baby" he begged, his thrusts becoming less controlled.

"yes, fuck. i need you to fill me right now. i wanna see your cum dripping out of me, breed me." the both of you were whiney, your cheeks were wet and your legs were shaking and sore.

"shit, you are so perfect.. this pussys so p-perfect." rafes body was tired, rutting into you like you were nothing but a fleshlight. his tip twitching inside you before he came deep into your cervix, making sure to push every ounce of his seed inside you before pulling out. and filming your dripping cunt before he ended the video.

rafe didnt have evil intentions but he wanted to let john b know what he lost, who would want to miss out on a girl like you?

*attached video*

"shes busy rn bro"

5 hours later you were laying next to a knocked out rafe, finally sobering up you went to check your phone. the most recent message being from none other than your ex.

why is he spam texting me?

"what the fuck? youre such a bitch" the text read, confused and curious you decided to scroll up. only to get surprised by a video of you and rafe from earlier. you dropped the phone in shock and turned to see rafe who woke up from the sudden sound. you picked your phone back up and shoved the phone into rafes face.

“what the fuck is this rafe?!"

[i-starcreamed]

Hi!, can I get some headcanons of transformers one character being jealous and the reader teases them.

D-16, Orion, Sentinel, Badassatron, and elita.

TF-ONE X READER

I tried to make this silly I'm feeling silly...enjoy

Post includes all of above :3

D-16

Tries to act unaffected by it, but doesn’t make a huge deal

Usually

He’s usually nice about it

Let’s say a bot is being really friendly with you, they’re making you laugh and everything. D sees from the distance, then comes up to you. Placing a servo against the small of your back-frame. “Heyy what’s so funny? I want to hear too :)”

He’s forcing a smile so bad.

He’s harmless, man, he trusts you completely

If another bot is for real flirting with you though, he's going to be so passive-aggressive

It’s more like he wants ur attention lol

If you teased him about it he’s going to deny it so hard

"What? No, no no.. I’m not jealous..pfft"

If you’re extra sweet maybe he’ll admit it

NOO y/n.. I’m funnier than them anyway.. I’m cooler too..

Orion

Don’t get jealous often either

He trusts you, he’s trustful of most bots

He gets jealous when you don't give him enough attention too

You’ll be talking to someone and he’ll just be in the background like,

“I’m..Y/N? Hey I..y/n? Uhm..I'm..right here..”

He’s so awkward, he doesn’t want to be rude to either of you but he’s lonely!!

If you tease him about looking sad when you’re not looking at him all the time, he’ll softly scoff.

"Well...yeah. They were flirting with you.."

sad puppy eyes

"Orion..they were asking me about Sentinels speech yesterday.."

"Oh...sorry."

eughhh

Sentinel

Oh boy

It’s a mix of irritation and jealousy

Why are you looking at someone else! When you can be looking at him!

He might be an attention seeker. He’ll just say things to catch your attention.

“Hey sweetspark, come look at my new paint job!” He calls you over as you're busy talking to someone else, he looks exactly the same btw

If you teased him I feel like he’ll take it way too seriously

“Jealous? What is there to be jealous of?? I’m literally Sentinel??”

But then his insecurity starts

“Wait…do you like talking to them more?”

evil sad puppy eyes

He'll only be content if you feed him compliments. Also erm..never talk to that bot again

#toxic

If he can’t demote the bot he was jealous of, he’ll try to one-up them, otherwise they are FIRED

After he gets over it he’ll be extra affectionate. You also get affectionate when you tease him so maybe it’s not so bad after all

insert makeout session

B-127

Badassatron

He’s definitely a bit attention and touch-starved after being stuck in low levels for who knows how many years

It’s only logical that he’s glued to your side for the rest of your life

If he’s jealous it’s very obvious. He tries to do something to get your attention or awkwardly stands there

Hey y/n look at this! - Does a backflip and falls

Tease him about it and he gets flustered

"Whattt? No, I’m not jealous!" He lets out a cocky laugh

“Ok maybe a little..”

Kiss his faceplate all over and he’s yours

He's definitely the least harmful

If he's jealous about a bot he particularly dislikes or they're flirting with you out and about, he might be more passive-aggressive about it

"Hey don't mean to intrude or anything, but uh, I'm kinda busy with my PARTNER. And by PARTNER I mean we're together. Yeah, uh huh! So, if you don't mind, my PARTNER and I are going to ignore you now. Since we're y'know..busy being together."

Elita

She’s smug about her jealousy, but only you could tell

“No, I’m not jealous. What makes you think that?”

Meanwhile, she’s giving the nastiest glare to the other bot.

“You really need to stop bringing their hopes up. Did you hear the way they were flirting with you?”

“Elita...they were just thanking me."

“Don’t even look at them actually"

If you tease her, she either denies it or is very proud

Like yeah she got a little jealous, she has such an amazing partner and anyone in their right mind would see that too.

Or no..she's definitely not jealous. She's just speaking her mind

[sceletaflores]

where there’s sparks, there’s fire!

pairing: patrick zweig x fem!reader

summary: you can’t tell if patrick hates you as much as you hate him. every time you see him he’s constantly talking to you, touching you, trailing behind you. but he’s only doing all that to piss you off. you think back to tashi telling you it’s obvious that he wants to fuck you. you don’t see it. patrick wants to fuck everyone, you’re not special.

—or: patrick zweig is a slut. you can't stand him.

word count: 4.6k

contains: 18+ SMUT MDNI, p in v, rough sex, unprotected sex (wrap it before you tap it y’all!), public sex (doing it in a coat closet lmao), more hate sex, swearing, fighting as foreplay, light choking, light hair pulling, degradation, even more hints of mean!reader cause i really do live for that shit, tashi and reader are cute besties always, porn with a little plot, no use of y/n.

author’s note: i originally wanted to post a tashi fic next but i realized i don't have any like actual full on plot filled patrick works lmao i felt bad neglecting him and my patrick girlies so yeah. once again had literally so much fun writing this, like i hardcore love this niche!!! i ride so hard for it!!! the tashi fic i'm working on also falls into this category lols and yes this is fourth of july themed and it's late shut up i cannot write fast for the life of me...anyway! to the anons who requested something like this, hope you love it! okay bye mwah xoxo.

Patrick Zweig is a huge slut.

Everyone knows that. He doesn't even go to Stanford but he's still somehow managed to sleep with a third of the girls on campus, maybe even more than a few guys too if the rumors going around are true.

You hate him. Hate isn't even a strong enough word. You loathe him. You despise him. You detest him. Pick any other fancy synonym, the point still stands. You just really fucking hate him.

It blows your mind that someone as sweet and angelic as Art would be best friends with someone like him. Someone who's so obnoxious, so arrogant, so crass. Art’s the guy that goes out of his way to protect you from the gross frat bros at parties, only to bring his very own as a plus one.

Sigma Nu throws a rager every year on the fourth, extending invites to those who are still in Stanford for the summer. The women’s tennis team is always invited, and Tashi always ends up convincing you to go. Well, she’s less convincing than she is more forcing you, but it’s basically the same thing to her anyway. She did your makeup and wrestled you into a Hollister dress, vowing to get you laid as she straightened your hair.

Tashi’s almost more invested in your sex life than you are, constantly hand-picking guys on campus for your consideration. She actually offered up Patrick once when you told her you wouldn’t fuck any of the guys on campus at all. The two of you were practicing, she suggested it as casual as ever while returning your serve. You were so shocked you stopped in your tracks, letting the ball fly right past you. She assured you she wouldn’t mind if you did, that what the two of them had was quote “Nothing serious, he’s just a really good fuck.” and that you should “Totally do it. He definitely wants to fuck you, I can tell.” 

You just brushed her off, ignored the way she smirked knowingly at you over the net. Your cheeks burned as you served again, you wrote it off as annoyance. As if you would ever let Patrick Zweig fuck you.

You lost Tashi when she took off to the bathroom, texting you that she’d be a while thanks to a long line outside the door. You were leaning against a wall nursing a half-empty cup of jungle juice when he came up to you. You can’t remember his name, you think it starts with a B. Something like Brandon? Or maybe Brian? One or the other.

He’s Sigma Nu’s secretary, you sit three seats down from him in your economics lecture. Tashi says he has a crush on you, and he’s nice for a frat guy but he’s definitely not your type. He’s been droning on about his upcoming trip to his family's summer house in Cabo for almost ten minutes. You try your best to seem interested, humming and nodding every couple seconds. You’re in the middle of tuning him out when a loud, familiar voice calls out your name. 

“There you are!” Patrick Zweig shouts from a few feet away, ugly American flag patterned flip flops smacking against the ground as he makes his way over to you. He’s wearing a bright red button down and white cargo shorts you scrunch your nose up at. He’s tanner than the last time you saw him, legs long and even more toned. “I’ve been looking everywhere for that pretty face.” He coos sweetly, his hand that isn't holding a bottle of Bud Light comes up to pinch your cheek.

You scoff, smacking his hand off your face. “You found me, so you can go bother someone else now,” you say, rubbing your cheek lightly. “Bye.” You press, waving your hand dismissively when he makes no move to walk away.

Patrick grins, unfazed by your reaction, he steps in even closer. “Yeah, I missed you too,” he says breezily, his breath smells like cheap beer and camel blues. He’s just as tall as you remember. He has tacky blue shutter shades resting on the top of his head. His eyes rake over your body shamelessly, lingering on the low dip of your neckline. “Cute dress.” 

You ignore him, rolling your eyes before turning your attention back towards Brandon/Brian. He’s silent now, eyes flicking between you and Patrick skeptically. “Are you like, together, or something?” 

You laugh loudly, quickly shaking your head ‘No’. Patrick beats you to speaking though, “God no, man.” he says through a laugh, dark curls bouncing as he shakes his head. “I came over here to warn you.” He continues, voice and expression going overly serious like he’s not talking out of his ass.

Brandon/Brian’s brows furrow, clearly confused. “Warn me?” he asks, head tilting to the left slightly. His puka shell necklace makes a small clicking sound as he moves. 

Patrick nods his head gravely, clapping his free hand down on Brandon/Brian's shoulder a little too roughly to be considered friendly, shaking him back and forth like a rag doll. “Yeah, best of luck trying to get inside that snatch, man.” he says earnestly, jerking his head in your direction. “Cause’ she’s really fucking picky–”

You whip your head in his direction to cut him off, grimacing in disgust. “You would say snatch, you sick fuck.” you snap, red solo cup crunching quietly in your hand. Patrick just laughs, dropping his hand from Brandon/Brian’s shoulder. Anger stews inside you the longer he looks at you with that stupid shit-eating smirk on his face. 

You can’t tell if Patrick hates you as much as you hate him. Every time you see him he’s constantly talking to you, touching you, trailing behind you. But he’s only doing all that to piss you off. You think back to Tashi telling you it’s obvious that he wants to fuck you. You don’t see it.

Patrick wants to fuck everyone, you’re not special. Sure, he may feel the constant need to be a horn-dog when he’s around you. That doesn’t mean anything. Patrick’s just gross, constantly making crude comments or lame innuendos. What Tashi fails to see is him making sex jokes around you is just another way he can piss you off. It’s not an open invitation into those god-awful shorts. 

Patrick takes a small step back, big hands raising in mock surrender. “Alright, alright. Put the claws away,” You try to ignore the way him saying your name in that goddamn infuriating condescending tone makes your cheeks start heating up. Patrick leans his shoulder on the wall next to you, looking down at you with a small grin on his face. “I actually wanted to congratulate you on cracking the top twenty.” He takes a long sip of his beer, head lolling to the side lazily as he swallows. “Lucky number 14.”

You’re not too proud to admit that Patrick is kind of hot, especially in this lighting. He’s objectively a hot guy, and he knows it. All tall and firm looking even in his horrendous outfit. But he’s kind of cute too, in an ass-holey way. His hair's a mess of soft-looking black curls and his ears stick out from his head sort of endearingly. He’s close enough that you can see he’s got a little brown in his eyes, and long lashes. There’s a handful of freckles sprinkled over the bridge of his nose. 

His big, strong nose that looks like it could work wonders between your legs. Or at least that’s what you’ve heard from Jen in your chem lab. Maybe this jungle juice is stronger than you thought.

Patrick's smirk widens, wolfish and dirty like he can see what you’re thinking. “That’s pretty impressive.” he continues, his tone a mix of genuine admiration and teasing. "Especially for someone who's always so...busy." He lets the last word hang in the air, a clear innuendo that makes your blood boil all over again.

"Busy training," you snap back, not willing to let him get under your skin any more than he already has. "Some of us have actual work ethic, Patrick. We put in the hours on the court instead of fucking anything that breathes, you know? So we don’t look like idiots that get their ass handed to them on tour by nobody scrubs."

You can feel the heat start to simmer in your stomach, anger and frustration bubbling beneath the surface as Patrick's presence continues to grate on your nerves. The tension between you is thick, amplified by the chaotic energy of the party swirling around you. You see Brandon/Brian take a long, awkward sip of his beer as he steps away, turning on his heel to quickly disappear into the sea of bodies crowding the living room. You roll your eyes internally, pussy.

Patrick grins, not deterred in the slightest. “You’ve been keeping up with my matches?” His voice is low and pleased sounding, shiny green eyes slowly getting swallowed by the black of his pupils. 

You pause, owlishly blinking up at him in silence. You’ve been caught. Shit.

You can feel the immediate warmth of embarrassment burning hot on your cheeks as you cast your gaze to the floor. “Only when I need to cheer myself up, a losing streak that high is actually laughable.” You mutter to the floor, lightly swirling your drink in your cup. 

Patrick laughs loudly, throwing his head back in amusement. “Still thinking about me though.” he says matter-of-factly, a lazy grin taking over his face.

His audacity sends another wave of anger and embarrassment through you, your grip tightens around your cup. "Only because you make such a spectacle of yourself," you retort sharply. "It's hard not to notice when you're crashing and burning so publicly."

Patrick's grin doesn't falter. If anything, it widens. "I'll take what I can get from you," he says, his tone a blend of amusement and something else that you can't place. "But seriously, congratulations. You deserve it."

His unexpected sincerity throws you off, and for a moment, you don’t know how to respond. It's rare to see Patrick in a light that isn’t coated in sarcasm or sleaze. You catch a glimpse of something genuine in his expression, something that almost resembles respect, and it confuses you.

It confuses you, and it makes something warm start to burn in your stomach. You can’t afford to feel any warm, fuzzy feelings around a guy like Patrick, not if you don’t want to get majorly fucked over the second he gets bored of you. 

You don’t know how to react so you do what makes sense, you lash out.

“God, will you just fuck off and leave me alone Patrick,” you say, tone over-dramatic and long-suffering as you tip your head up to the ceiling in annoyance. “I’m trying to have fun.” A lie. The party kind of sucked compared to last years. You were planning on talking Tashi into leaving when she came back, but he didn’t need to know that.

Patrick’s cool exterior finally cracks, letting out a quiet huff of disbelief as a frown starts tugging at the corners of his mouth. “Jesus Christ, what the hell is your fucking problem? I’m being sincere.” The playful light in his eyes is gone, replaced by something darker.

You let out a loud laugh, shaking your head in amusement. “Maybe I’d believe that if you weren’t such an ass. I know you too well, Patrick.” You say, tone mean and condescending. You know he’s right, on some level, but that doesn’t stop you. 

Patrick is silent for a beat, eyes boring into yours with an intensity that makes you want to start squirming. He lets out a quiet, bitter laugh, bringing his beer up to his lips to take a long sip. You watch the way his throat moves as he swallows, the way his lips look wrapped around the neck of the bottle. You feel a familiar heat start to pool between your legs, thighs clenching involuntarily as your mind envisions something else his slick, pink lips would look good wrapped around. 

He drops the bottle to his side, finally breaking the silence. “You know, now I do believe you.” he says casually, swiping his tongue over his lips lazily. “You must really not be getting any dick acting like this much of an uptight bitch.”

You reel back in shock, his words hitting you like a punch in the gut. The wave of fury that sweeps through you is almost tangible, your vision narrowing to a tunnel that begins and ends with Patrick’s infuriatingly smug face. “What did you just say?” you ask completely taken aback, voice low and rough. Your hand twitches at your side with the need to throw your drink in his face, anger and embarrassment lapping white hot flames in your stomach. 

Patrick just scoffs, heated gaze not breaking from your own. “You heard me.” He says, jaw set stubbornly. “You need like, emergency dick, or something to chill the fuck out for once.” 

You feel your heart rate spike, your free hand clenching into a tight wrist by your side. “You’re a fucking pig.” your voice shakes with anger, you feel sweaty and hot all over. The heat swirling between your legs is persistent.

Patrick laughs, a loud and infuriating sound. “Come on, we both know you’re fucking begging for someone to give you what you need.” He says like it’s obvious, you clench your fist a little tighter. He takes a step closer, voice dropping down to a whisper meant just for you. “I can help you with that. I can fuck all that bratty shit right out of yo–”

You’re reacting before you can stop yourself, hand flying up to slap him hard across the face. The loud crack pierces through the room, loud enough that a few eyes turn in your direction. Patrick's head snaps to the side, the shades resting on the top of his head fly off. 

Your heart stops, hands shaking with the realization of what you just did. You expect Patrick to flip out, start shouting and threatening to sue you or whatever else it is that rich people do. Time seems to slow down as he turns his head, and when he looks back at you, there's no trace of anger in his eyes. Instead, they're dark with something else entirely— something that makes your stomach flip.

He licks his lips, a slow, deliberate motion, and then he laughs, a low, throaty sound that sends shivers down your spine. A clear hand print grows steadily, red and angry on his cheek. "Fuck." he breathes, his hazy eyes locking onto yours with an intensity that makes your breath catch in your throat. 

You’re stuck staring at each other for what feels like hours, the music and chatter from the party reduced down to a low hum as you’re caught under Patrick’s heavy gaze.

He drops his beer bottle on the floor carelessly, hand shooting out to grab your wrist tightly and drag you away from the living room. Your cup falls from your grip, splashing down onto the hardwood in a red sticky mess. You fall into step behind him, letting him guide you into the hallway outside the living room before he lurches to a stop in front of a closed door, ripping it open and shoving you inside. Patrick follows quickly, closing the door behind him and bathing the coat closet in darkness. 

It’s a tiny closet, you’re pressed up against too many coats fighting for space on the tiny rack, kicking loose shoes around as you try to find your footing. “Patrick, I–” You start, but you're cut off by a strong hand gripping your forearm and whipping you around. Your back hits the door with a dull thud, you don’t have any time to react before his lips are on yours.

The kiss is the opposite of gentle, Patrick’s lips are almost violent as they move with yours. Your hands tangle in his soft hair, kissing back just as roughly. He hisses into your mouth as you twist the strands in your grip meanly, pressing you into the door harder. His tongue forces its way past your parted lips, claiming your mouth fiercely. He tastes like beer, his fingertips are rough and calloused on your skin, pulling you closer as if he wants to meld into you.

“If you don’t want this, say the word and I’ll stop right now.” He says against your lips, breathless and rumbly. His hands squeeze your hips reassuringly, his own version of sincerity softening the moment.

Yeah fucking right.

“Zweig,” you say slowly, yanking his hair roughly. “If you don’t shut up and fuck me in the next ten seconds, I’ll kill you.”

Patrick grins wildly, surging forward to connect your lips again. Your hands find the buttons of his shirt as the two of you kiss, working them open one by one until you get too frustrated and rip the two half-open sides apart. Buttons clatter onto the floor of the closet, Patrick groans into your mouth, breaking the kiss with a huff. “I liked that shirt, dick. You owe me twenty bucks.”

You’re not listening, eyes trained on the bare skin of his chest as everything seems to slow down for a second. Of course, you’ve seen Patrick shirtless before, when he’s on the court and it’s above ninety or when he’s taking up space in Art’s dorm. This feels different, a completely new situation where it’s actually okay for you to stare at the expanse of his torso. 

You can’t help reaching out to touch him again— running your greedy hands down his chest, his abs, the sharp ‘v’ cut of his hips that makes its way into the waistband of his shorts. Your manicured nails scratch through the dark hair of his happy trail, you can see the muscles in his stomach jump.

“Fuck,” you whisper breathlessly and immediately regret it. He was already insufferable— all you fucking needed was for him to know how you felt right now. How the sight of his barely undressed body is making your pussy soak through your panties.

Patrick doesn’t even gloat, just uses his tight grip on your hips to flip you so you’re pressing onto the door harshly. He impatiently yanks the skirt of your dress up, wasting no time in hooking a finger on the lace of your panties and moving the fabric to the side for easier access.

You hear him pop the button of his shorts open, his zipper following close behind. “You have no idea how long I’ve waited for this.” He says, sliding the thick tip of his cock through your slick lips, brushing himself against your entrance teasingly. “I’m gonna make you think twice about bitching me out ever again.” He seals his promise by grabbing your hair and yanking, causing a surprised whine to fall from your lips. His voice is so patronizing, but you aren’t getting mad like you should be. You’re just getting wetter, getting desperate with the need for him to get inside you right fucking now.

You grit your teeth in frustration, exhaling sharply through your nose. “I hate you.” You hiss, grinding back against his hard cock. You gasp raggedly as he starts to sink himself inside you, not stopping until his hips are flush against your ass. “Shit!” Your hands grip the door so hard you’re scared one of your nails will break. The stretch of him burns in the best way possible. You’d never say it out loud, not wanting to inflate his ego anymore than you probably already have, but he’s definitely the biggest cock you’ve taken. Almost porn-star big.

“I know.” He replies easily, hiking your thigh up with his hand as his hips start to pound mercilessly into the meat of your ass, not even giving you time to get used to the thick stretch of him. The loud smack of skin on skin fills the tiny closet easily, you hope to God the amount of clothes shoved in here somehow muffles the sound. The rough denim of his shorts scratches against your raw skin, adding to the sting of his hips.

Patrick was pounding into you in a way that makes you feel every inch of him. His cock felt impossibly big, filling you up like he was carving a place for himself inside of you. The sting in your pussy at the stretch of him is mind-numbing, you think you’d collapse from how hard your thighs were shaking if he wasn’t practically holding you up.

His big hand grips the sensitive skin of your inner thigh hard enough that it’ll probably be bruised by tomorrow. You distantly hope he’s high up enough that your tennis skirt will cover it, because if not it’ll be a hard thing to talk your way out of.

You throw your head back, a strained moan erupting from your lips. Your nails scratch at the paint on the door's edges, raking small lines down the wall. The loud squelch of your pussy’s overflowing wetness every time he sinks back inside you would be embarrassing if you had the mental capacity to care.

“Fuck yeah, keep making those slutty sounds, baby. Want the whole fucking party to hear how good I’m making you feel on this cock,” he mutters, hiking your leg up higher so he can pound into you deeper.

He drops your thigh, sliding his hand up your body and around your throat. You whine loudly, pushing back into his thrusts harder. Guys have tried the choking thing in the past, but Patrick’s hand is the only one that’s felt right. His long fingers curling around your throat like they belong there.

“Shit, fuck- don’t stop.” you mewl, lips parted in ecstasy. His hand squeezes a little tighter, not enough to cut off your breathing, just enough to get your eyes rolling back into your head as your pussy weeps around the thick length of his cock.

“That’s it, taking my fucking cock like you were made for it,” Patrick grates through a groan, gripping your hips and pulling out from your tight hole to spit on where his cock bumps up against your entrance before plunging back in.  You jolt at the extra wetness, whining at how dirty it is. “So fucking tight— does it hurt, baby?” he asks in a barely breathless voice, laughter edging his tone. “Is my fat cock hurting your tight little pussy?”

“God– shit, yes!” you sob loudly, cheek rubbing against the wood of the door as you nod your head frantically. “Hurts so fucking good.” You stop caring about inflating his ego, letting moans fall freely from your lips as you get closer to the edge.

“Fuck yeah, I’m gonna come,” he grunts, his rhythm growing sloppy and erratic as his muscles tense. He wraps your hair in his other hand, pulling hard enough to make your neck crane back awkwardly. He leans forward, lips brushing against the shell of your ear. “I can feel you, fucking clenching up on me so tight,” he whispers, still pounding into you roughly. “I know you’re close. Do it. Come all over my cock like a slut.”

Patrick's hand tightens around your throat as he talks, cutting off your air for just a second. “Patrick!” Your voice sounds weak and strained, your hand coming up to wrap around his wrist desperately.

He pulls out abruptly, dropping your hair from his fist to frantically jerk his cock, burying his face in your neck. You can hear the lewd shlick shlick shlick of your wetness help his hand glide over the skin of his cock quickly. Patrick lets out a loud growl before you feel the sharp bite of his teeth sinking in where your shoulder meets your neck, muffling a loud groan of your name as he sprays hot come over the skin of your lower back and the swell of your ass. 

The feeling of Patrick’s hand wrapped around your throat as his come paints your skin has you catapulting over the edge. Eyes rolling back in your head as your convulsing pussy gushes wet over his spent cock. 

You drag in greedy lungfuls of air, chest heaving as you try to catch your breath. “You came first.” You say breathlessly, voice scratchy and hushed. Patrick chuckles against your skin, swatting the tender flesh of your ass lightly. 

“Shut the fuck up.” He mutters half-heartedly, nuzzling his nose in your neck in a way that seems far too intimate for what the two of you just did. You don’t say anything.

Patrick eventually peels himself off your back, but the warmth of his body stays wrapped around you as he starts to gently wipe your skin clean. You’re ready to scold him for using some poor guy's coat as a come-rag, but when you turn your head to glare at him he’s using the inside of his own shirt. You wrinkle your nose, but a tiny smile fights its way onto your lips. So gross, you think with a sort of reluctant fondness.

He leans over to fix your panties back over your puffy, abused pussy. Your thighs continue to shake weakly as you try to stand on your own, still unsteady without Patrick holding you up. He gives you a sweet kiss on the back of your shoulder, smacking his lips loudly. You huff out a tiny laugh, pushing away from the door to face him.

You watch him as he languidly gets re-dressed. He looks well-fucked, his hair and clothes are mess, his face is flushed and sweaty. Your eyes trail down to where he’s buttoning up his atrocious shorts. 

The fabric around the crotch is darkened with your release, wetness soaking the denim around the zipper and front pockets. You gawk at it, a mix of terror and excitement swirling through your stomach. “You can’t go back out like that.” you say to his shorts, shame burning your cheeks. 

Patrick follows your gaze down to his crotch. A pleased smirk plays on his lips when he looks back at you. “I’ll text you later.” Is all he says, zipping his fly and turning towards the door. 

“You don’t have my number.” You say, tugging the skirt of your dress down over your hips. You can slowly feel the horny fog leave your brain, leaving you clear-minded and a little panicked.

He cracks the door open, but before walking out of the closet he looks back at you over his shoulder. “Art’ll give me your number. “ He says casually with a small shrug of his shoulder. You suddenly feel sick, wondering how many other people have heard that line before getting completely ghosted. 

Patrick must see the negative thoughts running through your mind play out on your face. He gives you an actual smile, one that has his eyes crinkling up the tiniest bit at the corners. “Promise.” He says with a reassuring nod, it’s the most sincere you’ve ever seen him. You bite your lip to stop from smiling at the hope blooming in your stomach, nodding back at him slowly. He throws you one last toothy grin before he’s walking out and closing the door behind him.

You sigh contently, staring at the closed door for a few beats before your phone buzzes to life from where it's laying on the floor. You bend over to search for it, blindly rooting around until you see the tiny display light. The ringing stops before you can answer, when you flip the screen up to check your inbox you have seven missed texts and two missed calls.

Four texts and two calls from Art, and just three texts from Tashi.

arty where are you? i’ve been looking for you are you okay? hello???

tash you know you're not invisible right? everyone saw your little show have fun <3

tags are now in the comments! if you want to get tagged for any of my works just fill out this form!

mini a/n: yes i did change the title leave me lmao love you!

[luckykiwiii101]

ONE THING ABOUT BEING THE QUEEN OF DELUSIONS? IT GIVES YOU A LONG WAY TO FALL

p.s. this post isn’t pretty, it wasn’t worth my time, or effort.

Hey Upper East Siders. Gossip girl here. Usually i’m here to help you fix your life, but @loaisacult, this one’s for you. And I can’t name any upper east siders more desperate than, well…you. It’s pitiful I know. But you can cry about it later, if you haven’t ran out of tears already, that is.

I don’t mean to start a fight, but there’s a weak link in every chain, and it just happens to be you.

I know you express your belief in the law of assumption being a cult. The funny thing is, when people don’t like something, they usually walk away, unless it bothers them that much. And the even funnier thing is, you complain about bloggers “preaching” the law of assumption, and getting others to follow. But what are you doing? Preaching your ideologies, in hopes that others will follow you too. Oh what’s that word again…hypocritical was it?

And oh sweetie, no one cares about your irrelevant opinions enough to affirm “@loaisacult doesn’t exist, @loaisacult doesn’t exist…” Talk about a weak argument. I hope law isn’t your major. But you know what is major? Your idiocy.

Calling people on this app suicidal? Pathetic. Although I can’t tell you that isn’t true. Because to some extent, it is. And i’d agree with you if you weren’t so ignorant. But I guess changing self in terms other than just loa isn’t your cup of tea. Bloggers are not meant to be personal therapists for people in the loacommunity. And yes there are and were previously some bloggers who would get suicidal asks from anons and just respond to them to persist. But why are you generalising EVERYONE in the community? Your point is immediately invalid. So because there were some immoral bloggers who would act that way automatically means that the whole entire practise of the law of assumption is a CULT? Hello? Do you hear yourself?

Let’s use your “logic” here. Say gossip girl makes a post telling her followers to worship satan. Therefore the whole entire loa community must ALL be satanists! Now how ridiculous is that…

Yes there are liars, everywhere. Oh i’m sorry, did that come as a surprise to you? You didn’t think the world was rainbows and sunshine did you? Well unless you assume it is. But at the same time, there are honest people too. Yet you like to pick and choose what to focus on. Look me in my virtual eyes and tell me that Lady gaga isn’t one of the most famous people on the planet. Oh wait..you can’t! News flash, she manifested that. And so did many of your other favourites. Yet you choose to focus on liars, because that’s what you want to believe. Of course a close minded, one sided argument is your way to go. Disregard everything else in the process why don’t you.

“It's ironic how some boast about manifesting luxury items like Lamborghinis, which could easily be rented, yet they fail to manifest meaningful change for their followers who are in abusive situations.” - l.o.s.e.r

B-b-but didn’t you say that you used to be a big blogger? So why didn’t you attempt to do the same? (As if! it would only work if they assumed so). But honestly, you don’t sound like someone who is educated on the law, you sound like those desperate anons in bloggers inboxes asking bloggers to manifest for them. Because why is that the point you used? To manifest for followers? Were you…one of those…followers? Talk about holding a grudge. No wonder why you’re so mad. If I had a dime for how many times you got rejected i’d be a millionaire.

“Want to prove to your followers who are spiraling about the American election rather than post persist hehehee how about you manifest for them….. change the election revise life’s an illusion while you’re crying about having your rights taken away lol but you can’t.” - l.o.s.e.r

Run upper east siders, we’ve got an idiot on our hands. Making a point on something completely false. If you really understood the law, you’d know that you can’t manipulate somebody else’s reality, unless they assume you can. But it’s not to my surprise that you didn’t know that, of all people. Last time I checked, it’s YOUR imagination, and nobody else’s. So WHY would YOUR 3D reflect THEIR imagination? And you claim to be a blogger educated on the law…quite a “big” one too. I cant name any “big” bloggers who’ve misinformed the law THAT bad. Talk about liars now…

At this point, it’s PAINFULLY obvious that you were one of those anons begging bloggers to manifest for you. Because you’re SO mad that bloggers don’t do that for people. They can’t really because it depends on your assumption. I’m not even making an invalid point here. It’s just so obvious. “Want to prove to your followers.” “how about you manifest for them” 😭 I’m literally in tears because of how funny this is. I’m sorry that no blogger has proven it to you or manifested “for you”, and you’ve carried that hatred with you and projected it onto the whole loa community. And the only reason you continue to believe that the law of assumption is real (rightfully so) is because you know that there’s way too much proof of it to even attempt to dismiss it without looking like a fool. And maybe a fraction of that belief comes from your hope, because without the law, everything you’d ever hoped for would be out the window.

In short, you make points about “why don’t you manifest for your followers 🥺” Well, I don’t know if you knew this but…there’s this concept called free will. And just because someone chooses to not do something, doesn’t mean they can’t. Is common sense just not part of the package for you? It seems the point flies right over your head faster than you can catch it, and the only thing that doesn’t land, are your “points”.

But if you still don’t understand me, let’s use a little bit of your so -called logic here.

‘Loa is real manifesting is real shifting is real but most people in this community lie and are culty 99.999% of the stories here are lies the people doing that shit don’t even post abt it probably think they’re in some dream most of the success here are creative writing and living in the end.” - l.o.s.e.r

From YOUR logic, couldn’t I just ask you to manifest that the liars don’t exist and that you no longer view the law of assumption as a cult? So why haven’t you…? You’ll ask anyone questions but yourself. And if they think it was a dream…then how did they send their success stories to bloggers? Did I miss an update because last time I checked, you can’t do that in a dream. See, your points are fuelled by complete hatred, not logic. You truly don’t believe what you’re telling yourself and others. Embarrassing.

And don’t get me started on how statistically IMPOSSIBLE that is. Do I even have to explain why? I promise you, thousands of people are NOT lying for the pure fun of it. That’s just not how the human mind works. Wouldn’t they rather shit on loa just like you rather than posting success stories hoping it’ll happen?I didn’t know talking out of the wrong hole was in fashion these days. But then again, not everyone has style. And if there’s one thing money can’t buy, it’s class. Was that a moth? Must’ve flewn right out of your wallet.

Now don’t get me wrong, i’m not bothered to read your whole blog and all the nonsense you cry about and debunk every little thing you say. Because trust me, common sense does the job for me.

Have fun continuing to “preach” your delusional idea of the law being a cult to yourself and your little followers. Like sheep. One after the other.

Don’t even think about trying to respond to me, as if anything you say makes sense.

P.S. I’ll delete this post later, I don’t like having drama on my blog. This is my first and last time addressing you. I just don’t want people in this community, including my lovely upper east siders to listen to idiots like you telling them that all the success stories they’ve read are fake, when that is so obviously not true. Only someone who hasn’t consciously the experienced the law for themselves would doubt others so badly, and you used to be a “big” blogger you say…The fucking audacity. But then again, it’s hard to believe in something you haven’t experienced for yourself (is it?), but at-least don’t get caught in a lie. Disrespectfully, shut your mouth and don’t open it again.

- gossip girl

[n0thingbutlov3]

need you now | 2 |

in which readers true feelings are revealed.

pairing: spencer reid x fem!reader warnings/tags: angst again (whoops) miscommunication (it’s short dw) fluff, reader is hungover lol, spencer is handsomely disheveled (moans) mentions of blueberry muffins being readers favourite type of muffin (sorry for not being vague but also if you don’t like blueberry muffins??? why) some tears, some swearing, some kissing, suggestiveness at the end of you squint (WHOOPS *evil smirk*) no use of y/n!! wc: 2.1k a/n: call me slim shady because i am back!!! i procrastinated writing this because i was scared everyone was secretly judging my writing and actually hated it and a second part would be a stupid idea but THEN i realised that was a little bit silly so im here B) part one got over 1000 notes (INSANE) all the support has been so so lovely—every note, reblog, and comment means the world to me, thank you!! i hope this part is okayy, feedback is always appreciated :) i hope you enjoy it you choose to read!!! <3 p.s kissing scenes are so difficult to write, i think i done absolutely awful!!!so let’s ignore that…. if you haven’t already and you’d like to, you can read part one here!

Your eyelids twitched as the early morning sun filtered through your bedroom. What was usually a calming wake-up call now felt like being blinded.

You burrowed your face into your pillow, squeezing your eyes shut in an attempt to dull the throbbing in your head. This is why you didn’t drink often.

Asides from the obvious headache and nausea, you always seemed to wake up with a sense of dread; ‘hangxiety’—a friend had called it once. It was creeping up on you now, and even though you weren’t sure exactly what you had done, you knew it was bad. You flipped onto your back, fixing your gaze to the ceiling as if it could tell you what irreparable mistakes you had made last night.

It couldn’t, of course. The only thing you had realised is that you should probably coat it in a new layer of paint soon.

“How’re you feeling?”

You shot up, eyes widening at the sight of a man in your doorway. A man whose sleepy voice and disheveled hair threatened to make you melt, but a man who should not be in your doorway, nonetheless; Spencer.

Your brain was quick to supply you with information then, your memory coming back in hazy remnants. You were upset so you…called Spencer for the first time in months. Yikes. He didn’t answer so you turned to a bottle of high end whiskey instead—yikes, again—and passed out on your couch, only to wake up to your ex-boyfriend in your apartment. Cue more sobbing, a pathetic attempt at asking—no, more like begging—him to get back together with you, and that was it. Well, mostly. There was also the promise of discussing your breakdown in the morning. The morning, which was now.

What the fuck.

“Like I’ve been napalmed.” You weren’t sure you were just referring to your raging hangover.

That prompted a raspy kind of chuckle from him and Jesus Christ—you really shouldn’t have called, because it was going to be infinitely harder to watch him leave when he inevitably told you you were sad loser who needed to get a grip and move on—except, he’d be a lot nicer than that, wouldn’t he? Because even if things were over between you, he was still the sweetest person you had ever met and he’d never say anything to intentionally hurt you. Maybe things would be easier if he did. If he wasn’t so sickeningly perfect—if he just insulted you in the way you were certain you deserved, then maybe you’d get over him quicker.

“So, I-ah-uber’d breakfast—“

Your inner turmoil came to a screeching halt at those words.

“You uber’d? You?”

He scoffed, a light blush dusting his cheeks.

“The team’s been very into it lately and I always finish my paperwork first so it only makes sense that I—stop laughing! I can uber!”

“Sorry! I just can’t imagine the great Doctor Reid stooping to the levels of a fast food delivery app. Do you ever order to the wrong place?”

“No.” he said, unconvincingly. “Well, only once—“

You were laughing again.

He whined, turning on his heel.

“Just take your aspirin and hurry up!” He grumbled petulantly as he left the room, but you could hear the smile in his voice.

After a quick freshen up and taking the pills placed on your bedside table—as per his request—you padded through to the living room, joining Spencer on the couch.

You gasped delightedly as he pulled out muffins from a brown paper bag. To be more specific, blueberry muffins; your favourite.

“Did you know that blueberries are good for fighting hangovers? They’re rich in vitamin C, which helps break down and metabolise blood alcohol. Muffins too, they—what? Do I have something on my face—“

“No! No, sorry,” You had been caught staring—ogling, more like. “I just missed…that.”

“What? My incessant rambling?” He was joking, but you could hear the insecure twinge in his voice—the one that told him he was too much. Over the course of your relationship, you had showed him that he didn’t have to think like that around you—that he was never too much; he was perfect in your eyes. You hated that he doubted that now.

“Yes, actually.” You tried to keep your tone light, unserious. But there was nothing unserious about just how badly you had missed the man sitting beside you. How you could hear his voice in your mind when you drove late at night, giving you statistics on accidents. Or how on other late nights, you swore you could feel his hands ghosting over your skin—only to find out it was your imagination.

If he could see how truthful you were being, he didn’t acknowledge it, turning his attention back to the coffee table.

“I’ll, um, save you the facts on how beneficial coffee is for hangovers, anyway.” He smiled awkwardly, shuffling a paper coffee cup to where your muffin sat.

“Thank you,” you mumbled, “for the coffee, not the withholding of information—i’m a real fiend for coffee facts…especially when they’re related to curing hangovers!” You said a little too cheerily, trying to alleviate the awkward tension. Although, that only seemed to make it worse.

Spencer just huffed out a little laugh in response, taking the wrapper off of his muffin.

The rest of breakfast went by in silence. Not the comfortable silence you always seemed to have with Spencer—when you were together, you reminded yourself—but a strained one. The kind of silence that occurs when there’s something left unsaid, and you’re just waiting for someone to spit it out.

Spencer broke first.

“So we should probably talk…about last night.”

You finished the remainder of your coffee, setting the empty cup down before turning your whole body to Spencer, tucking your legs up underneath you.

“Right, yeah…”

A beat passed, Spencer’s eyes darting around your face—assessing you.

For someone who had imagined this conversation in your mind countless times, you certainly weren’t saying much.

“I—uh…was very drunk.”

Something in him shifted, like he was putting up imaginary walls.

“So you didn’t mean…any of it?” His brow furrowed, his nose twitching slightly.

“Well no, but I—“ You what? Meant every word you said and more? You couldn’t just say that. You had just got a small part of Spencer back and you didn’t want to ruin it by coming on too strong.

He waited for you to add something, anything, to show him that maybe, maybe there was a tiny part of you that still wanted him as badly as he wanted you. But you didn’t. You just sat there, playing with the fabric of your—his—t-shirt.

He couldn’t do it.

He was so tired of loving people only for them to leave like he had meant nothing to them. Was that all he was to you? Someone you could call when your inhibitions were lowered, looking for comfort? He would do anything to be back in your life again, but he couldn’t be a person of convenience; someone you only wanted when you were lonely.

He ran a hand through his hair, swallowing down the tightness in his throat.

“You were drunk and you got carried away, I get it. I think I better go though—“

“What? No, I—“ You bobbed your mouth like a fish, trying to find the words necessary to keep him here. There were too many of them and yet none at all. None except for three. Three words that you wished you had the courage to say months ago, or weeks ago, or last night. But you never claimed to be a courageous person, and you weren’t about to spill your heart out again only for it to end up in rejection.

Spencer stood, making his way to your bedroom to grab his shoes and coat. He didn’t care about his other clothes, he could buy more—he just needed out before he broke.

You sat dumbfounded on the couch, willing yourself to do something, say something. It was like you were frozen. And you stayed frozen. As Spencer shuffled around your bedroom, as he returned to the living room—completely avoiding your gaze—even as he searched for his keys. You hadn’t realised he had driven over here. He didn’t usually drive unless he had to get somewhere urgently. Were you someone worth seeing urgently to him?

He picked up his keys, heading for your door and only then did you realise how dire the situation was. If he left now you weren’t sure he would ever come back.

“No—wait, Spencer!” You stammered, lunging off the couch to try and stop him. He unlocked the door, moving to leave when you grabbed onto his jacket sleeve.

“Please don’t—I love you!”

“What?”

He turned to face you and you noticed just how wrecked he looked—not at all dissimilar from how you had for the last few months. Had he looked like that the whole time?

You must’ve been staring because when you came back to your senses he was calling your name exasperatedly.

“Do you mean it?”

You were fed up living like this; harbouring so much love for someone and not being able to express it. Even if he didn’t love you back, even if he was over you, you couldn’t go another moment without at least telling him how you felt.

“Yes,” you heaved, “I love you—I never stopped loving you, I was just…” You knitted your brows together, unsure how to phrase what you were feeling.

“I’ve never loved someone the way I love you and that’s…terrifying. I thought the way I felt was wrong, like—when you were on cases, I missed you so much, more than I thought humanely possible and—well, I never wanted to be the kind of girl to base her happiness on another person because that’s how you get hurt. So, I thought the only way to combat that was by…distancing myself. I thought if you weren’t in my life anymore then I’d be able to get a grip and become more independent—“ you huffed, trying to stop the wobble of your voice. “but it didn’t work, because then I was just missing you twice as much, except I couldn’t see you at all—“

“You could’ve answered my messages, we could’ve—“

“So you could return your key? Then things would actually be over. Why do you think I ignored your messages?”

“Why do you think I kept messaging? Angel, I was never going to return that key—at least not willingly—I just wanted to see you, to see if you were doing just as horribly without me as I was without you. You know, I couldn’t even focus on cases—Hotch even suggested I take some time off.”

You frowned, your voice impossibly small. “I’m sorry.”

He took a step toward you, cupping your cheeks in his hands.

“Don’t apologise, you were dealing with your emotions in the best way you knew how. I just wish…” he swallowed, his adam’s apple bobbing. “I wish I hadn’t let you go so easily.”

His eyes were shining and—God, you wished you could take it all back. All the pain you had caused him, caused yourself, just because you were too scared to talk about your feelings.

“I wish I hadn’t left.” You blinked away the tears that were threatening to spill from your eyes. “Y’know, I read a book on astrophysics because it reminded me of you. I didn’t understand any of it but I couldn’t put it down. I still—“ you let out a watery chuckle. “still have it in my bedroom somewhere.”

Spencer smiled, swiping under your eye at a tear that must’ve escaped.

“Yeah? Maybe I can read it to you—help you understand it.”

“I’d like that.”

You didn't know much about celestial bodies or the ultimate fate of the universe, but you could've sworn you'd seen the stars pictured in that book in Spencer’s eyes when he looked at you.

“Say it again.” He mumbled, tilting his head down so that your faces were just inches apart.

“I love you.”

And then his lips were on yours, impossibly soft and everything you had been missing since you had broken up. He kissed you like you were the oxygen he needed and all you could do was sigh into him because you knew the feeling.

He leaned back all too soon, resting his forehead against yours.

“Well, I should probably go—“ He smirked, but you cut him off before he could continue his teasing.

“You’re not funny.”

He narrowed his eyes, sucking his teeth.

“I don’t know, I—“

You pressed a firm hand on his chest, bunching the cotton of his t-shirt into a fist.

“Stop. Stay—we can have a pyjama day and maybe for dinner, you can show me just how tech savvy you’ve become and uber us some food—“

He rolled his eyes, kicking the door shut before pressing his lips to yours with more force this time.

“Stop talking.”

[bbokicidal]

Hiii! Could you pls do some hcs for like sex accidents (like funny) with inexperienced skz? Like idk I think felix would be prone to voice cracks and Han would giggle whenever something happened. Idk feel free to ignore duh! 🫶

Sure! I'll just do a small list quick since it's late for me and I'm tryna answer inbox stuff hahaha

Odd Sexual Moments w/ Inexperienced!SKZ

Chan - Cannot keep his hands to himself because he's just soooo happy to have someone to cherish and worship, which has led to him accidentally touching your bootyhole while grabbing ass. And it's HIM who makes it weird!! Usually you're just like, eh, it is what it is and honestly it's not that bad. But as soon as he realizes it he's like omg I'm so sorry and gets all red and shy like the cutie patootie he is

Minho - Gets quiet when focused and therefore makes little to no sound in bed when he's trying something new like a position or a toy or something. And then when you ask him about it his voice gets all shy and high pitched and he's like im so sorry I didn't realize I was so silent you thought I was dead beneath you my bad

Changbin - ACTUALLY choked you out with his arms once. was behind you, wrapped his arms under your neck cause he knows you like it, and then when your moans died down he was like OH NO and immediately cradled you in his lap until you were looking up at him in confusion. it took him a few hours to tell you what happened because he was embarrassed as shit but he did eventually spill the truth even if it blew his pride to dust

Hyunjin - The w o r s t kisser in the group tbh !!! even if he swears he isn't. Tries to be super suave and romantic with it but ends up nearly choking you w/ his tongue (not that you're complaining) (you can't anyway bc youre actually choking LOL) Please help him he doesn't seem to realize how much he needs to learn

Jisung - Does not know where to put his hands no matter how many times y'all have sex. The first time he legit would not touch you unless you moved his hands to your body, and even after that he was all shy and hesitant because he's A) too scared to outwardly ask and seem nervous, and B) what if he accidentally touches somewhere you don't want him to??? Super giggly about it once he gets comfortable though bc you never stop teasing him for it in bed. (he shuts you up by stuffing his fingers in your mouth but n e way)

Felix - the voice cracks !! He's heard from both you and his friends how much you seem to adore his voice and how large of a range he has so he tries reaaaally hard to use it in a sexy way in bed. but the first time he tries to make his voice lower, it cracks and he almost keels over dead when you comfort him in a fit of giggles. (there's also a time he broke out the baby voice without thinking while squeezing lube into his palm and going "that's enough~" before he booked it to the bathroom in embarrassment and took a two hour shower while trying to muster up the courage to look you in the eye again)

Seungmin - Man has NO idea what he's doing so any time you ask if he wants to have sex and he says yes, he just sits on the edge of the bed and waits expectantly for you to initiate it. Because he legit has no idea how to start anything off. Once you get going he's totally fine and p smooth with it but he cannot start it off to save his life.

Jeongin - the first few times he has sex with you he has to pause in the middle or before switching positions so he can question if this is something god would approve of. you think it's a joke at first when you ask what he's doing and he says "asking for forgiveness" but then realize hes serious. you end up waiting patiently any time he needs to stop and ponder, but eventually he quits giving a shit and says he'll repent for it later or something lol.

[miss-oranje-disco-dancer]

gimme more

pairing: joel x reader x tommy

tags/cws: sex pollen (reader is infected by it), breeding kink

summary: joel is just being a good friend by helping reader out, and tommy is just being a good brother by tag-teaming

a/n: div creds to @animatedglittergraphics-n-more

this is kind of theoretically set in jackson (AU where nothing bad happens lol), but we're going to pretend that the writer has finished tlou2 (and has not been caught up in playing silent hill) and is not just guessing about the details of jackson and such

wc: 2.2k

tags: @vaaaaaiolet @leonfucker3000 @withonly-sweetheart

You've experienced your fair share of unthinkable, inexplicable things since the outbreak began. Out of necessity, you've become familiar with the cordyceps — what it looks like, how it spreads, what the cure is (a bullet to the head). Whatever you just inhaled is not the cordyceps virus, but you feel zero relief in knowing that. You have no idea what this is and what it's going to do to you.

Joel calls out to you from above.

"Don't come down here," you yell back. "I think something's wrong."

It's the best way you can explain it.

"Then get your ass up here!" He's pissed, he's scared.

You shouldn't have been so reckless. You were stupid to think you'd find anything good in that abandoned bunker. If there was once something worth your excursion, it's long gone. Like everywhere else, it's been looted.

When Joel reaches out to help you pull yourself above ground, you can't help but notice how big his hands are, how strong he is, the way his arms flex when he pulls you up to relative safety.

"What happened down there?"

"I don't know, but I feel… weird. Something's not right with me."

"You didn't get bit did you?"

"No, it's not that. Definitely not. It's something different. When I went down there, it was like I set off some sort of alarm system, except it didn't make any noise, it just sprayed out some sort of blue smoke."

"And you inhaled it?"

"I didn't mean to."

The route back is short, but it's torture – your whole body feels like its been set on fire, and you want to keel over in pain.

"Do you need me to carry you?" Joel asks.

"No, I'm fine." You're not fine. You're out of breath, dizzy, aching for something.

Joel ignores your lies and picks you up. The minute he touches you, you know exactly what your body wants — him. You whimper at his touch — his hands aren't anywhere they shouldn't be, but your whole body feels sensitive.

"Am I hurting you?"

"No, not really… I don't know."

"Why are you whining then? Either you're hurt or you're on the edge of a fuckin' orgasm."

He laughs, but you don't.

"…Both," you admit.

He looks at his hands, making sure he's not touching you inappropriately.

"I don't understand. I'm not touching you down there, and you're not touching yourself. You got vibrating panties or somethin'?"

"I wish."

He stops. Then, in a whisper despite the fact that you're alone, asks, "Do you think it's whatever you inhaled?"

"Yeah."

"Let's hurry down to the infirmary then."

"No. There's nothing they can do for me."

"Don't say that. I'm sure it's nothin' and they'll be able to fix you up just fine."

"No, they can't. I know what I need. I can feel it."

Or at least, you hope it's what you need. You'd rather die than walk into a clinic and tell the nurse that you're so horny you think you're about to, well, die. You've made your bed and you're ready to lie in it — so long as Joel is there too.

He changes course slightly, and walks towards his house. Not much needs to be said. The look of sheer desperation in your eyes is enough. Has he dreamt about fucking you before? Maybe, but that's not why he agrees to do it. Above all else, Joel cares about you.

You don't make it to his bedroom, only to the living room couch. The curtains are drawn and Joel lives alone, so it makes little difference (minus the back pain that you'll inevitably endure from a couch rendezvous).

It's not your first time having sex, and you know it's not Joel's either, but it's the first time you've ever done this together. See, in your nighttime fantasies, he comes to you — on you, in you, for you — quite often, but in the real world, you're just close friends. The rumors that circulate are (unfortunately) not true: you're not fucking Joel. Or, you weren't. Now, you are. Now, you're tearing off your clothes because holy fuck it's hotter than it should be in April. You're feeling feverish as you help Joel strip (while he takes a minute to be awestruck by your bare body).

You're fiddling helplessly with his belt buckle like it's a brand new contraption to your hazy eyes.

"Are you sure you don't want me to get you ready first? Could go down on you…"

If someone put a gun to your head and asked you if you'd ever turn down Joel Miller offering to go down on you, you'd be dead. But despite how much you crave his mouth on your skin, you swear this thing might kill you if you wait any longer.

"I need you," is all you can muster.

"Lemme see if I can find a—"

He stands up, presumably to get a condom, but you grab him by the wrist.

"I need you," you say with more force this time.

It takes a mere glimpse of his cock — hard, throbbing in anticipation — to know that he needs you too.

"Jesus fuckin' Christ," he says when his hand reaches your glistening slit.

You let out a pathetic whimper. You're no longer in control. Whatever this toxin is, it's taken over. It needs Joel, you need Joel, it needs you to need Joel (more than you did already).

"I know, baby, I know," he soothes you as he steadies himself above you.

He slides into you with ease, buries himself to the hilt and then stops. He looks up to the ceiling, like he's about to speak to God, but all that leaves his mouth is a single word, "fuck", it comes out harsh, through gritted teeth, yet ultimately, it's his surrender.

His surrender to your needs, to your cunt that grips him like a vise and soaks him like a leaky faucet. Both of his hands hold your hips steady so he can pound into you as you beg for him to go harder, and he swears he hasn't fucked anyone like this in the last 20 years. Honestly, he's shocked his knees can handle it. He ought to have you ride him if you're so intent on controlling the pace, but then again, he doesn't trust your impulses.

Not only is he going to embarrass himself if he cums quickly, but he'll also leave you hanging. One hand moves to cover your mouth because he can't have you screaming. It takes everything in him to stifle you when you're moaning his name.

It's something between a warning and an apology. "I'm sorry, baby—I'm gonna cum." Naturally, he attempts to pull out since he's not wearing a condom, but you lock your legs around his hips and rip his hand from your mouth so you can tell him the three most important words right now, "Don't. Pull. Out."

"I don't wanna get you pregnant—"

"I want you to."

It all makes sense. "Is that what it wants?" His curiosity is piqued and the distraction of solving this puzzle keeps his orgasm at bay. "It wants me to… breed you? It's making you want me to get you pregnant?"

"Yes," you say a bit too enthusiastically. "Joel, please, I need you to."

"Need me to what?" He knows exactly what, and you can see that in the slight upward curve of his lips.

You groan in frustration — would he really be so cruel as to make you beg in a moment of crisis? Maybe.

"I need to hear you say it."

Joel could easily fill you to the brim right now, he needs to hear you beg because he'll need the memory later when he's alone, when he thinks about you. If you make it out of this situation, that is. But, fuck, if you're right, and all he really has to do is get you pregnant, there shouldn't be any problem.

"I need you to put a baby in me," you say, and while your body is still running wild in its starvation, embarrassment flashes across your face.

When Joel agrees, your orgasm overtakes you -- simply the thought is enough to make you gush all over his furniture. You thought you'd never reach your peak and be forced to teeter on the edge for the rest of your life. You hold him as close as you possibly can, forcing him deeper inside you with your legs around his hips and your arms around his back, digging your nails into his skin. He returns the sting with a bite to your neck, muffling a groan that threatens to escape him.

You're writhing against the pleasure, the overstimulation and the need for more mixing together, and Joel, melting in your arms, soothes you as best he can. His words are filthy and sweet all at once.

"It's okay, baby. I'm gonna put a baby in you, gonna get you knocked up. Don't gotta worry 'bout a thing."

When his grunts turn breathy, barely short of whimpers, you realize that he's turned on by this too. It's a blessing and a curse — his pride grapples with his arousal, fighting to keep his orgasm at bay but it's in vain. He cums inside you, and it feels like he's the one dying, and ascending to heaven (a place he never believed he'd step foot in).

You try to keep him inside you, but he insists that he has to pull out at some point.

Joel's about to put his pants on when the door swings open. At first you're afraid it's Ellie, and even though she's an adult, she's practically Joel's daughter – she's the last person who would want to see this. Who else has a key to Joel's house? you think. He's not giving them out to just anyone, even you don't have one (and you could be carrying his child).

Tommy, you realize, just as his voice echoes through the hall, calling for Joel.

"Hold on," Joel yells back, much louder than he needs to, considering the fact that there's only one wall between your naked body and an unsuspecting visitor.

Footsteps approach, and Joel gets the word "wait" halfway out of his mouth before Tommy enters the room. You all share a moment of silence before he apologizes, and excuses himself.

As he's walking towards the door, you try to pull Joel back in, telling him how badly you need him.

But he has another idea. Unconventional at best, but it's not like you're in an everyday situation anyway.

"Tommy," he says, stopping him before he leaves. "Will you do me — us — a huge favor?"

"Yeah, I won't tell anyone. Don't worry about it," he says, preemptively.

"No, no. A different favor." He peeks his head into the living room to see your miserable, desperate state.

"What's going on?"

Joel explains everything as best he can in as little time as possible. You admit, with less shame than you would otherwise, that you need someone to fuck you, and if Joel has to wait a bit to recover, it's a good thing he has a brother.

"You're sure about this?" Tommy asks.

Once you swear on your life that you are absolutely positive about this, he gives in, allows himself to indulge because ultimately, Tommy wants this too. Maybe their shared DNA influences their shared kinks, or maybe you're an attractive woman, splayed out on the couch naked and begging to be fucked.

Tommy makes quick work of his clothes, discarding them on the floor — he can sense your eagerness to have him inside you, almost as intense as his own desire.

It's not like you needed any lubricant anyway, but Joel left you even slicker than before, so Tommy slides inside you with greater ease despite being nearly as big as his brother. He's quick to lift your legs to gain greater leverage so he can up the pace of his thrusts.

You moans, despite how loud they are, do not cover up the wet sounds of Tommy fucking you.

"Are you sure you want me to cum inside you?"

"Yes, please, need you to get me pregnant," you say, throwing him for a loop. Whoops, you must've forgotten to mention that part.

He looks at you, then at Joel, in disbelief, assuming this is some sort of trick, a test, a gift — it doesn't really matter because he's too far gone to hold back.

"Fuck, I'll knock you up if that's what you really want, baby."

All you can say is "please".

"Wonder whose baby it'll be," he says, steady thrusts gaining momentum.

If he's toying with you, it's working, strange as it might be, the concept is a turn-on. It's Schrodinger's baby. You cannot be sure whose baby you're carrying -- if there is one at all -- so you can imagine it as both Joel's and Tommy's at once.

You look at Tommy, eyes half-lidded, lips parted, mind blanking. Surely, he's not having a scientific breakthrough, but maybe a transcendental experience.

Then, you look at Joel, who holds the awe of a full auditorium in his eyes, but there will be no standing ovation for your performance because he's using all of his strength to hold himself back from rushing the metaphorical stage, and one hand is busy palming his aching cock through his jeans to subdue that urge.

Tommy takes your chin, and with a sudden sternness, says, "Look at me when I cum inside you. Not him. He's not fucking you."

But when your eyes meet his, he's not the only one approaching his peak – you are going over the edge with him. You swear you might've blacked out because Tommy is already pulling out of you when you fully regain consciousness.

Once you get your bearings straight you realize something: you feel a lot better.

[dazed--xx]

SKZ Reaction: He Hurts the Reader II (Maknae Line)

A/N: this is for @skz-codeeee lol 😂 im glad I got someone like you in my comments that will keep me on point 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 so thank you ☺️….But Damn it’s been a while since I came back here lol 😂 anyway I apologize for the long wait for this. I promised it a couple days ago but life and kids got in the way for a bit. BUT I hope this makes up for it. Requests are open!!

Masterlist Part 1 Hyung Line

Jisung:

“We’re sorry but the caller you have been trying to reach is not available please—“ you sigh as you press the end button. It had been 2 weeks and no word from Jisung, and while you were mad the first day or two the anger quickly dissipated and dissolve into the longing to fix things. But as things may have it he’s been avoiding you. Your calls go unanswered and your texts ignored. It broke your heart that the result of your previous argument would be this but you couldn’t seem to reach him. Your visits to the dorm have been less than fruitful and you can never find him at his studio. You’d think he’d all but disappeared if it weren’t for Chan, who’d messaged you the start of the second week to make sure you were okay. It was clear he was sent by Jisung to check on you and report back what you said; so with a heavy heart you began telling him about the pain you’ve been feeling whilst being left alone in a country you barely knew and a boyfriend who abandoned you. You explained with tears cascading down your cheeks, how you felt like moving back home to America since you felt like your relationship was over anyway. What you didn’t know was, instead of waiting for a progress report from Chan, Jisung sat watching over his shoulder as his leader messaged you. His heart sank at your confession prompting his legs to act before his body even knew what was happening. He ran.

He ran and ran until it felt like his lungs were going to give out but he continued to speed to your apartment. His fist pounding on the door rapidly, his voice boomed throughout your apartment as he pleaded with you to open the door. You take a heavy breath as you peel yourself off your couch and pull open the door. You stare at Jisung blankly as he takes in your tear-stained cheeks and red eyes. His breath hitches in his throat for a few seconds before he pulls you into his arms. “I’m sorry…d don't leave I'm sorry” he cries. “Please stay here… our relationship isn't over I'm sorry I'm such an ass” his sobbing left him a-quivering mess as he held onto you tightly. “Jisung let me go…” you sigh as you try to pull him off you “At least Come inside it's cold” you growl as you take a small step back allowing him entry. Without releasing you from his hold he sniffles “I couldn’t face you…t-that’s why I—but I never wanted to break up!” he exclaims. Your hands came between you trying to have the conversation face-to-face but Jisung had other plans as his grip grew tighter at your fight. “I’m an asshole, I’m a jerk, and I don’t deserve you. I hurt you then had the nerve to avoid you like you wouldn't want answers” he admits as he cries, you continue to struggle in his hold as you manage to turn away from him. His cheek brushed yours his arms still firmly around your waist “Jisung, if you know all this why are you here?” You argue, as you try to stop your heart from beating out of your chest. “Because I love you…” His words are just above a whisper, his lips brushed against your ear. He pressed himself against you deeper “and I can’t let you go…” you pout as you stare at the ground. “What you did that night was an accident…” you start “But you avoiding me and ignoring me for two weeks? That was deliberate…” your voice cracks “I wanted to fix things and you made me think you moved on—How could I?! How could I move on from you?” He cuts you off, finally releasing his grip on your waist to turn you to face him by your arm. Your face now in his hands “I’m sorry okay I’ll spend everyday making up for what I did but you can’t leave me…” He pouts “You left me!” You snap childishly crossing your arms across your chest “I hurt you!” He exclaimed “it was an accident! I JUST MISSED YOU AND ALL I WANTED WAS TO HEAR FROM YOU AND YOU JUST DISAPPEARED! I love you and you abandoned me!” You cry Jisung takes your face in his hands connecting his eyes with yours “I’d never abandon you. I was taking some space I’m sorry I didn’t tell you, it I hated myself for hurting you and I needed that time.” You nod frustratedly. While you were pissed that he disappeared, this level of communication was the entire basis of your relationship. As much as you hated it, Jisung was communicating and while you felt it was a little later than you had hoped. You could see this as the beginning of a more meaningful relationship between the two of you.

Felix:

“I’m at the point where I want to call the cops and tell them I have a stalker…” You growl as you stare at your ex, who sat in your section of the restaurant you had managed to get a job at. He stared up at you, a look of longing and sadness in his eyes as a pout sat on his lips. “Babe….” He whispers as he takes in your appearance “Can I get you anything else tonight sir?” You question prioritizing professionalism, pretending you didn’t know him. “No..” He stammers, you nod definitively and place an awkward smile on your lips “then I will be back with the check” you state as you turn to make your way back to the register, your movements are halted as you feel your wrist encased. You turn to face the culprit “Sir? Is there anything you need?” You ask professionally, taking deep steadying breaths. “I-I need to talk to you…” His voice cracks as he speaks “P-please…I can wait until you get off..just please talk to me” you finally look him in his eye. His appearance has you in shock, his adorably freckled cheeks stained with ghost trails of tears. His eyes were bloodshot and his hair was a mess. He still looked absolutely angelic but you could tell depression had definitely hit him hard. Though you swore youd never speak to him again, he is still someone you love and it pains you to see him so hurt. You give a small sigh of defeat before nodding “I get off at 8, you’ll have 10 minutes and nothing more okay?” He nods almost excitedly, his eyes lit up at your agreement. He gives you a hopeful look as he releases your wrist “I’ll see you then..” he waves you off.

Why oh why did you have to tell him you’d talk to him? Now you were truly regretting your words, the rest of your shift was hectic and you were exhausted. When you exited the restaurant and saw him leaning against a car, hands in his pockets as he stared at the ground. You could tell even from your distance he was nervous, and scared about how this conversation would go. You trudged your way over to the man you had once grown excited to see every night. “Hey…” he calls sadly; taking in your demeanor “Is now still a good time to talk?” He questions as he notices the exhaustion on your face. You nod swiftly “it’s fine. It’s not like this will take too long” you comment offhandedly. Those words truly hit Felix deep in his chest like an arrow. “C-can I bring you home then? I’d rather you be comfortable even if you don’t think this will take long” you stare at him for a moment before agreeing to his proposal, a small satisfied smile forms on Felix’s heart shaped lips. He quickly pulls the passenger door open gesturing for you to take a seat. You pull yourself into the car and stare at your ex crossing over to the drivers side. You notice how much weight he’d lost, his hair still messy as his face looked as if a fresh batch of tears painted his cheeks. The ride back to your place was awkward and silent, you weren’t sure what to do when Felix pulled into your driveway as he’d said nothing the whole way here. You sat in silence for a few minutes waiting for something, anything to be said.

When it had remained silent Felix looking at nothing but his lap you move to exit the car. Pulling on the handle you hear a slight click then the door doesn’t open. You stare back at Felix, his finger pressed firmly on the lock button. You were puzzled, he said he wanted to talk but didn’t say anything and now he doesn’t want you to leave. “W-wait…” He stammers in a panic “Sorry, I just—I don’t know what to say right now.” He confesses as he stares at his lap once again. Running his hand through his hair for what you can assume to be the millionth time “So what did you want to talk about then Felix?” You question stoically. He sighs “I hate how easy this is for you…” his voice cracks as he tries to meet your eyes “I know I royally fucked up—but you didn’t even give me a chance to fix it…” his hand reaches for yours “please…just give me a chance to fix this…” You stare at him quizzically, a look of disbelief on your face before you scoff at his audacity to blame you for his own actions. “I mean do you blame me?” You snap, your anger building in your gut. He stared at you puzzled “Wha—Do you even know what you did? WHY we’re no longer together?” You growl at him, his mouth hung open not knowing what to say. His eyes searching your face for some clue some hint as to why you didn’t want to talk to him anymore. Before he hung his head and shaking it ‘No’ “Of course you don’t you were absolutely fucking blasted.” You scoff shaking your head to yourself. “Does it matter if I remember what I did or not? I just want to fix this” He cries grabbing ahold of your hand. You stare at him sadly “yes Felix it matters, because what you did is unforgivable…” He shakes his head in denial “Don’t say that…” Tears well up in his eyes as his voice cracks and you try to stare anywhere but at him. “Y-you don’t mean that..you can’t, right? You’re just mad at me, right? Please tell me you’re just mad at me and I can fix this—y-yeah I can make things right again. We love each other we could work through this together right? I’m sorry if I hurt you or anything I did. Im sorry for not making time for you. I’m sorry if I got mad and scared you. Im sorry I’m so fucking sorry for all the mistakes I made and if I knew why you’d left me then id probably agree you’re doing the right thing. But I don’t know and I don’t know what to do…. all I remember is waking up one day and seeing all my stuff in the dorm and Chans girlfriend telling me how much an ass I was and that you never wanted to see me again. I tried calling—I tried everything to see you and fix us but you just disappeared on me I’m sorry okay I’m so fucking sorry.” He rambled his tears flowing down his cheeks as he held your hand tightly against his chest “Please tell me you still love me…just give me once chance I won’t ruin it I don’t care what I did in the past because it won’t be like that going forward I’m sorry I’m so sorry please” He cried placing his forehead on your connected hands as he sobbed.

Your heart ached at the sight, you knew Felix wasn’t the type of guy to continuously harass a woman nor was he the kind that would physically hurt you. Which is why you were surprised that night in the first place but seeing him here, with the same amount of guilt and regret he’d have if he’d remembered that night has you wavering. You could hear his gasps for breath as he struggled to keep himself calm. “Lix..I do still love you please calm down..” you soothe. Freeing one of your hands from his grasp, you rub small circles on his back. You hate how much this hurts, he’s the one that hurt you in the first place and here you were feeling guilty because you made this angelic ball of sunshine cry. “Lix please calm down” you plead as you stare at him the sobbing growing harder and harder his body completely trembling. Tears well up in your eyes “Please…I’m gonna cry if you don’t stop crying” you say your voice cracking as a tear strolls down your cheeks. The sound of your sniffles has him looking at you panicked “I’m sorry, I’ll calm down. I’m sorry” he whispers wiping your tears away. You stare at him, you missed him too. You missed the way he’d hold you when you were upset whispering soothing words and kissing your forehead every once in a while. Felix was your safe haven for so long, since your break up you hadn’t allowed yourself to feel the true pain of the whole situation. You’d thrown yourself into work to the point you’d come home and pass out the second you got to your bed so you didn’t have to think about the pain of losing Felix. But now that he sat infront of you all you wished for was to be in his arms once again. “Please just let me fix things…one chance that’s all I ask.” He stares at you with longing in his eyes. Your heart rests as you place a soft kiss on his cheek. “One chance…”

Seungmin:

The sound of the practice room door being slammed open has your manager cutting the music off as you and your group members jump in your positions for your latest choreography. “Hey!” The youngest exclaims. Her eyes growing wide when she notices who came storming in. You stood in shock as you saw Seungmin barreling into the room straight to SooHee, a scowl embedded on his face as SooHee stood up from her place on the couch she was sitting to ‘observe’ the choreography. She looks up at him and away from her phone, a bright smile on her lips “Hey!” She cheers not noticing the glare on his face. Seungmin aggressively snatches her phone from her hands and throws it harshly on the floor. You and your members stood in shock watching the sight as Soohee stares wide eyed at her phone then back at Seungmin. “Dude! What the hell did you do you do that for?!” She growls Seungmin places himself inches from her face “Keep fucking lying on what kind of relationship you and I have and me breaking your phone will be fucking minor” he growls. “And what are you doing sitting down while the rest of your members are practicing?!” Her eyes widen at his sudden scolding “Who risked their neck to fucking get you here?!” SooHee didn’t know what to say she stared at Seungmin bewildered “Y-you..” her voice is just above a whisper. “I wasted my fucking time! You’re an embarrassment! You’re fucking lazy do you think you can just get by using my name?! A NAME I WORKED MY ENTIRE FUCKING CHILDHOOD AND LIFE TO FUCKING BUILD!” You felt bad for the girl, while you do know Seungmin is doing what almost everyone has been telling him to do. You could tell he’s also blaming SooHee for the argument you both had yesterday. “Min…” you start. Your word goes ignored as the two begin arguing back and forth.

The pair are lost in their own world spewing venom at each other. your team not sure exactly what to do in this situation as Seungmin was saying something almost everyone wanted to say but you felt the second hand embarrassment for the girl. “Yah! Kim Seungmin!” You growl.

He whips his head toward you ready to chew off the head of the person who is interrupting his conversation, before he was met with your menacing glare. His anger quickly dissipating and he stares at the ground. “Who do you think you are to come in here and scold MY member?!” You growl. While you didn’t like SooHee, you were this groups leader and you’ll be damned if anyone but you scolded her. His eyes widened, knowing your level of protection toward your members was almost equivalent to his own leaders. “Y-Y/N I’m—no I don’t need to hear your apologies.” You cut him off before turning to Soohee “SooHee practice with Minji actually learn the steps this time. You” you point at Seungmin gesturing for him to follow you out the practice room. “Y/N I’m sorry…I shouldn’t have—Like I said I don’t care. Don’t come in and interrupt my practice sessions. When I told you to talk to your friend I meant outside of my practice hours where she can actually learn something. You came in there and fucking embarrassed her why?” He scratches the back of his neck looking at the ground “Jisung told me the him and Chan helped you guys record last night and that SooHee was giving me a bad name. Even to my own members she was saying she didn’t have to listen because she knew me. Then I just thought about how she kept causing problems for you and how you’d probably never want to see me again because of what I did because of her and I just—I lost it okay?!” He confesses. You stare at the boy a pout on your lips “Minnie I love you why wouldn’t I want to see you again? Tension was high we were both stressed we got into an argument but that’s all…” you confess. He stares at you with a small hopeful pout “Really? But SooHee—Lied? I knew she was lying Seungmin. You’d never cheat on me okay? I know that” you cut him off wrapping your arms around his neck “it’s been only one night and you just lost your mind without me huh?” You chuckle pressing yourself against his frame. His responds by wrapping his arms securely around your waist holding you in his arms as if he’d lose you if he let go. “That’s not funny, I don’t even like thinking for one second that you’re not my girl anymore let alone a full night” he whines. “You have quite the attitude but you’re such a softie” you tease petting his head gently. “Only for you baby. Don’t tell me to leave you alone again okay? I might truly lose my mind” He places soft kisses all over your face. “You’d never have to worry about anything like that, Min. You’re stuck with me” you smile taking his face in your hands pressing a kiss firmly on his lips “By the way, if you wouldn’t have embarrassed SooHee I’d have told you good job…” you smirk.

Jeongin:

“W-what are you doing?”

Your heart sunk when you heard the panicked tone of your ex boyfriends voice. You silently cursed to yourself as you had made sure to come on a day you knew he had practice. Choosing to ignore the boy you continue to make your way through the apartment toward the door with another box of your things. “Y-Y/N..You can’t be serious..I—I—how—please stop!” He cries as he struggles to find something to say. Ever since that night you had been staying at a hotel and for you to be coming to get your things must mean you had found a new permanent place to live and that absolutely scared him. How he wished he had controlled himself even just a little more, then he wouldn’t have fucked up so badly and you wouldn’t be packing up all the you he had left to cling onto. The idea that you would come back is now being ripped away from him and he felt like he couldn’t breathe. He rushed into your once shared bedroom seeing two more already filled boxes. He quickly begins pulling it open and unpacking everything as tears streamed down his face. “Jeongin stop what are you doing?” You ask stoically. He stares at you with tears in his eyes “You want time away from me and space?! That’s fine but you’re not leaving me!” He sobs.

You sigh tiredly “yes I a—No you’re not! Please! I know how badly I fucked up! I shouldn’t have said all that shit to you, I-I shouldn’t have hurt you but please I’ve been trying for weeks now to make it up to you. To just see you again, but if I didn’t come home early by chance then I would have come home and you would have been completely gone…? How is that fair!? I want to fix this I want to be with you, I love you and I’m sorry I’m so fucking sorry. I’m pathetic and insecure and disgusting for what I did. You were right to slap me I don’t blame you for it I’m a piece of shit and I deserve this okay? I know I deserve this but I don’t want it! I want to fight for you—I want you to know how much I love you and I would never do it again.” He cut you off as he began to rant. His tone is panicked and fear laced through it. He continued to pull your stuff out of the boxes. Your heart ached for the breaking boy in front of you. You slowly grab the other box and go to make your way to the door in Jeongin’s movements. Your halted as the box is ripped from your arms “No! You can’t!” He exclaims as he drops to his knees wrapping his arms around your waist. “Please…don’t leave” his breathing is growing heavier and heavier. You could tell he was on the the verge of a panic attack. Tears cascaded down his cheeks as he stared at you with wide pleading eyes.

“Jeongin..”

“Please, I’m sorry I’d never do anything like that again. You know me..you know that I’m not like that” he begs. “I thought that I knew you once but I don’t—don’t say that. You don’t mean that please tell me you don’t mean that..” he cut you off. His tone was heartbreaking, he sounded so unsure; about what to do, where to turn, how to fix this. He couldn’t figure out how to keep you with him. He wanted you to stay he’d chain himself to you if that’s what it took at this point. Anything to keep you from walking out that door and not coming back. “Yang Jeongin! This needs to st—I love you!” He cuts you off hesitantly “I love you so much and I’m so sorry but I can’t let you go. I need you to give me another chance even if it’s to talk. So I’m sorry, I love you and I won’t let you go. I’ll give anything to keep you with me so if you want to leave you’re going to have to kill me before I let you go” he state’s definitively. “You sound fucking crazy” you scoff crossing your arms over your chest. “You not being here with me drives me crazy” he states matter of factly. You roll your eyes at the boy. He damn sure was persistent. You could remember how terrified of him you were just a few weeks ago, but to see the same man ugly crying so disparagingly in the ground it made your heart waver. The eyes that once shot daggers at you are now pleading for you to connect with them. The lips that spewed venom in your direction were now begging for you to never leave and his hands that once gripped your hair and chin so harshly were gently caressing your waist holding you against him as he sobbed. You weren’t sure what you wanted to do, you weren’t sure where you could turn for answers.

You stare down at the fox like man, he pouted up at you. You could feel the tension around the room building. You placed your hands on his shoulders, taking a deep breath. Your breath feels shaky and your throat felt as if it was closing in on its self

“Please..” Jeongin whispers

Taglist: @yangbbokari @justjxnniie @imjustme-things @slayhyunjin @aurora1115 @lolareadsimagines @conwunder @myexolady

[atopvisenyashill]

patterns of abuse with jaehaerys

this post made me deeply depressed and i reread f&b which was my first mistake.

tldr i’m making the argument that jaehaerys definitely sexually abused saera and alysanne, and likely viserra and gael, and also i hate this man. if you disagree and want to say so *nicely* that’s cool but if you hardcore love jae and don’t want to hear criticism, maybe just scroll past bc i’m not nice to him at all (obviously, i’m accusing him of csa lol).

breaking this down by each woman, so there’s 6 sections: saera, viserra, daella, gael, alysanne, and alicent.

saera targaryen

If she were the king’s firstborn, or better still his only child, she would be well content. Instead she finds herself the ninthborn, with six living siblings who are older than her and even more adored. Aemon is to be king, Baelon most like will be his Hand, Alyssa may be all her mother is and more, Vaegon is more learned than she is, Maegelle is holier, and Daella…when does a day go by when Daella is not in need of comfort? And whilst she is being soothed, Saera is being ignored. Such a fierce little thing she is, they say, she has no need of comfort. They are wrong in that, I fear. All men need comfort.

that’s septon barth’s opinion on her and barth is always right. simply put, she’s a deeply neglected child who acts like a brat to get her parents attention because she’s learned the only way they’ll pay attention to her is if she’s causing a problem.

Before she was eleven, she was stealing wine and ale instead. By twelve, she was like as not to arrive drunk when summoned to the sept for prayer.

The king’s half-witted fool, Tom Turnip, was the victim of many of her japes, and her unwitting catspaw for others. Once, before a great feast where many lords and ladies were to be in attendance, she persuaded Tom that it would be much funnier if he performed naked. It was not well received.

stealing alcohol at 10 and being a committed alcoholic at 12 is not normal behavior. it is a sign of something deeply at wrong at home. also, the way she kind of, sexually humiliated tom, someone who is too “innocent” to even realize she’s sexually humiliating him…gives me the ick re: how she views sex.

Saera had learned the art of getting anything she wanted from her father: a kitten, a hound, a pony, a hawk, a horse (Jaehaerys did draw a firm line at the elephant). Queen Alysanne was far less gullible, however, and Septon Barth tells us that Saera’s sisters all misliked her to various degrees.

i don’t like this. nothing wrong with giving your child gifts (see ned going above and beyond to get arya not just instruction on how to fight but also a specific style that would gel with being smaller than your average opponent) but in conjunction with “jaehaerys ignores saera unless she’s pressing him for an expensive gift which he immediately gives her and alysanne doesn’t get why he caved so quickly” its an alarming dynamic.

also speaks to how isolated saera specifically was, that the only siblings that like her (aemon and baelon) are usually out and about, and there’s a clear wedge between saera and her sisters, even viserra.

The screams were coming from Tom Turnip, who was lurching helplessly in circles trying to escape from half a dozen naked whores, whilst the patrons of the house laughed uproariously and shouted on the harlots. Jonah Mooton, Red Roy Connington, and Stinger Beesbury were amongst those patrons, each one drunker than the last. They had thought it would be funny to see old Turnip do the deed, Red Roy admitted. Then Jonah Mooton laughed and said the jape had all been Saera’s notion, and what a funny girl she was.

again with sexually humiliating tom.

it continues with her friends. it’s not unusual for a 15 year old girl to want to fool around with other 15 year olds but alys and perri are all guilt ridden and upset and alys is with child. it reminds me a lot of cersei sexually abusing taena in affc. when she’s caught (now, mind you, she’s been marched in front of her parents sitting on the throne and not brought to them in their private rooms. she’s being treated right off the bat as if she’s guilty of a crime and not guilty of being a shitty teenager):

“She went from denial to dismissal to quibbling to contrition to accusation to justification to defiance in the space of an hour, with stops at giggling and weeping along the way,” Septon Barth would write. “She never did it, they were lying, it never happened, how could they believe that, it was just a game, it was just a jape, who said that, that was not how it happened, everyone likes kissing, she was sorry, Peri started it, it was such fun, no one was hurt, no one ever told her kissing was bad, Sweetberry had dared her, she was so ashamed, Baelon used to kiss Alyssa all the time, once she started she did not know how to stop, she was afraid of Stinger, the Mother Above had forgiven her, all the girls were doing it, the first time she was drunk, she had never wanted to, it was what men wanted, Maegelle said the gods forgave all sins, Jonah said he loved her, the gods had made her pretty, it was not her fault, she would be good from now on, it will be as if it never happened, she would marry Red Roy Connington, they had to forgive her, she would never kiss a man again or do any of those other things, it wasn’t her who was with child, she was their daughter, she was their little girl, she was a princess, if she were queen she would do as she liked, why wouldn’t they believe her, they never loved her, she hated them, they could whip her if they wanted but she would never be their slave. She took my breath away, this girl. There was never a mummer in all the land who gave such a performance, but by the end she was exhausted and afraid, and her mask slipped.”

What does Jaehaerys ask after all of this? “Have you given any of these boys your maidenhead?” Her response:

“True?” said Saera. It was in that moment, with that word, that the contempt came out. “No. I gave it to all three. They all think they were the first. Boys are such silly fools.”

Now mind you, Alyssa and Daella have both died of childbirth recently and her parents are mad she had sex as a 16 year old bordering on 17 year old, and not the fact that she like, at best peer pressured her besties into having sex and now one of them is pregnant. jaehaerys has only asked if she’s still a virgin.

“I will be married,” the princess said. “Why shouldn’t I be? You were married at my age. I shall be wedded and bedded, but to whom? Jonah and Roy both love me, I could take one of them, but they are both such boys. Stinger does not love me, but he makes me laugh and sometimes makes me scream. I could marry all three of them, why not? Why should I have just one husband? The Conqueror had two wives, and Maegor had six or eight.”

i keep trying not to give my opinion and just lay it all out but the thing is i’d just be reposting the whole scene because it’s just filled with so much weird sex stuff. if you don’t remember it, go reread it. it doesn’t feel (to me) like regular “george is bad at writing sex” vibes but “george is purposefully trying to skeeve you out” vibes but i am willing to admit i could be wrong and he really just doesn’t understand what he wrote.

anyways remember how i said saera acts out to get attention from her parents? all she’s done here is act out, her “crimes” are basically nonexistent; beyond how alys feels about being pregnant, saera consensually had sex with boys around her age who aren’t married, and then blithely compared herself to some asshole relatives. if your teenager idolizes dick cheney that’s probably worrying but not a crime! this is not how jae treats it however.

When the princess heard his words, she rushed toward him, crying, “Father, Father!” but Jaehaerys turned his back on her, and Gyles Morrigen caught her by the arm and wrenched her away. She would not go of her own accord, so the guards were forced to drag her from the hall, wailing and sobbing and calling for her father.

The king was angry and unyielding, for his shame was deeply felt, and he could not forget Saera’s taunting words about his uncle’s wives. “She is no longer my daughter,” he said more than once. Queen Alysanne could not find it in her heart to be so harsh, however. “

saera tries to escape.

This time the princess was not allowed to return to her own chambers. She was confined to a tower cell instead, with Jonquil Darke guarding her day and night, even in the privy.

Princess Saera watched from the window of her cell. Jonquil Darke, her gaoler, made certain that she did not turn away.

that’s as her dad is murdering stinger btw. is he a creepy 19 year old? yeah. but like, making your 15 year old watch you murder her 19 year old trust fund baby stoner boyfriend sure is something.

so then they sent her to the silent sisters where she’s beaten all the time and has to pray all the time and she runs away, becomes a sex worker and literally never looks back.

The truth did not come out until a year later, when the former princess was seen in a Lysene pleasure garden, still clad as a novice. Queen Alysanne wept to hear it. “They have made our daughter into a whore,” she said. “She always was,” the king replied.

“You need her as a Dornishman needs a pit viper,” Jaehaerys said. “I am sorry. King’s Landing has sufficient whores. I do not wish to hear her name again.”

but before we move on, let’s look at one more related ick, when saera’s sons show up to the great council:

From Essos came three rival competitors, grandsons of King Jaehaerys through his daughter Saera, each sired by a different father. One was said to be the very image of his grandsire in his youth.

after her drinking, acting out, and jaehaerys’ focus on calling her a whore, explicitly pointing out that one of her grandsons looks just like jae is a choice. i know they’re super inbred. it’s still uncomfortable in context.

viserra targaryen

alysanne makes no sense here but i’m just gonna quickly explain instead of lay it out or we will be here all day bc viserra’s engagement is completely nonsensical. theomore manderly is old, ugly, has a shitton of heirs, and viserra clearly doesn’t want to marry him. also if she wanted to be queen, why is she going after baelon, aemon is still alive. anyways jaehaerys is no help here, then she goes to baelon for help, but she’s also super drunk.

Frustrated, Viserra next turned to her brother Baelon in hopes of rescue, if court gossip can be believed. Slipping past his guards into his bedchamber one night, she disrobed and waited for him, making free with the prince’s wine whilst she lingered. When Prince Baelon finally appeared, he found her drunk and naked in his bed and sent her on her way. The princess was so unsteady that she required the help of two maids and a knight of the Kingsguard to get her safely back to her own apartments.

she gets drunk with some friends again, goes riding, breaks her neck. i wanted to point out this pattern of drinking and acting out at a young age. as well as this pattern of targaryen daughters who aren’t “meant” for a brother and are promised to men who are old and with heirs

daella targaryen

i wanted to add daella because her getting married at 15 makes as little sense as viserra, and her match to a old man with several heirs is equally nonsensical. but also this:

“I would never marry her,” the boy said, in front of half the court. “She can barely read. She should find some lord in need of stupid children, for that’s the only sort he will ever have of her.”

where did vaegon get that mouth.

Daella was not clever, even her septa had to admit. She learned to read after a fashion, but haltingly, and without full comprehension. She could not seem to commit even the simplest prayers to memory. She had a sweet voice, but was afraid to sing; she always got the words wrong. She loved flowers, but was frightened of gardens; a bee had almost stung her once.

Jaehaerys, even more than Alysanne, despaired of her. “She will not even speak to a boy. How is she to marry? We could entrust her to the Faith, but she does not know her prayers, and her septa says that she cries when asked to read aloud from The Seven-Pointed Star.”

The queen always rose to her defense. “Daella is sweet and kind and gentle. She has such a tender heart. Give me time, and I will find a lord to cherish her. Not every Targaryen needs to wield a sword and ride a dragon.”

so daella is 12 at this point.

Her sixteenth nameday was fast approaching, and with it her womanhood. Queen Alysanne was at her wit’s end, and the king had lost his patience. On the first day of the 80th year since Aegon’s Conquest, he told the queen he wanted Daella wed before the year’s end. “If she wants I can find a hundred men and line them up before her naked, and she can pick the one she likes,” he said. “I would sooner she wed a lord, but if she prefers a hedge knight or a merchant or Pate the Pig Boy, I am past the point of caring, so long as she picks someone.”

i just don’t like this. other “simple” targs are not required to marry, like vaella and aelora, two of daeron ii’s grandfaughters so i don’t get why daella is pressured into marrying before she’s even of age. at least jae 2 forced rhaella and aerys because of a prophecy? what is jae’s reasoning for so sexualizing his daughter?

gael targaryen

this one is definitely a reach but i’d like to point out that this is basically all we know about gael:

Princess Gael, a sweet, shy child of seven, became the queen’s constant shadow and support, even sharing her bed at night.

and our information on how she dies is so shady:

A sweet-natured girl, but frail and somewhat simpleminded, she remained with the queen long after her other children had grown and gone, but in 99 AC she vanished from court, and soon afterward it was announced that she had died of a summer fever. Only after both her parents were gone did the true tale come out. Seduced and abandoned by a traveling singer, the princess had given birth to a stillborn son, then, overwhelmed by grief, walked into the waters of Blackwater Bay and drowned.

how does gael get pregnant by a traveling singer when she never leaves her mother’s side? why doesn’t anyone in court know gael got pregnant and killed herself until after aly and jae both die and how was this even found out?

am i implying that jaehaerys sexually abused all four of his daughters? yes because he literally sexually abuses his own wife.

alysanne targaryen

“I am forty-two years old,” she told the king. “You must be content with the children I have given you. I am more suited to be a grandmother than a mother now, I fear.”

King Jaehaerys did not share her certainty. “Our mother, Queen Alyssa, was forty-six when she gave birth to Jocelyn,” he pointed out to Grand Maester Elysar. “The gods may not be done with us.” He was not wrong. The very next year, the Grand Maester informed Queen Alysanne that she was once more with child, to her surprise and dismay.

he uses the birth that killed their mother and that is condemned by rhaena and alysanne as reckless and cruel of rogar to force on her. that birth.

at this point as well, he had abused saera and daella, then they’re gone, then viserra starts drinking and dies, then jae marital rapes aly into having gael, giving him access to another young girl to abuse…i’m aware this is a very uncharitable reading of him but…

alicent hightower (and kind of alyssa targaryen)

Ser Otto’s precocious fifteen-year-old daughter, Alicent, became his constant companion, fetching His Grace his meals, reading to him, helping him to bathe and dress himself. The Old King sometimes mistook her for one of his daughters, calling her by their names; near the end, he grew certain she was his daughter Saera, returned to him from beyond the narrow sea.

saera is the one he fixated on yet again but notable that he’s fixated on his daughters as he dies and not his sons, despite jaehaerys turning to drink after aemon died bc he was so upset.

He announced his intention to wed Lady Alicent of House Hightower, the clever and lovely eighteen-year-old daughter of the King’s Hand, the girl who had read to King Jaehaerys as he lay dying.

The Hightowers of Oldtown were an ancient and noble family, of impeccable lineage; there could be no possible objection to the king’s choice of bride. Even so, there were those who murmured that the Hand had risen above himself, that he had brought his daughter to court with this in mind. A few even cast doubt on Lady Alicent’s virtue, suggesting she had welcomed King Viserys into her bed even before Queen Aemma’s death. (These calumnies were never proved, though Mushroom repeats them in his Testimony and goes so far as to claim that reading was not the only service Lady Alicent performed for the Old King in his bedchamber.)

i know it’s just mushroom being a perv but a rumor that 15 year old alicent “serviced” jaehaerys existing besides rumors that he mistook 15 year old alicent for the daughter he last saw when she was 17 - and viserra was 15, gael 19, and daella 15, all around alicent’s age and all died before age 20. all the targaryen girls that weren’t born “for” a brother exit the narrative after some sort of sexual abuse that centers around jae, as teenagers; daenerys was born for aemon, alyssa for baelon, and maegelle for vaegon before they both fucked off and maegelle was too pious (and too old). this idea of being “for” a brother leads directly to alyssa’s death before 30:

“You were made for battles, and I was made for this. Viserys and Daemon and Aegon, that’s three. As soon as I am well, let’s make another. I want to give you twenty sons. An army of your own!” It was not to be. Alyssa Targaryen had a warrior’s heart in a woman’s body, and her strength failed her. She never fully recovered from Aegon’s birth, and died within the year at only four-and-twenty.

and alysanne being “for” jaehaerys is how he excusing sexually abusing her into a risky pregnancy. essentially what i fear is that because saera, daella, viserra, and gael aren’t “for” someone, jaehaerys gets it into his mind that that are for him. even without him raping them tho, that subtext is there! he is entitled to saera’s virginity and calls her a whore multiple times, even decades after she’s left, and murders her boyfriend in front of her. he claims a weird sexual ownership over his neurodivergent daughter daella and his alcoholic, depressed daughter viserra, and we get zero information on gael’s pregnancy or his reaction to it. but jaehaerys deciding his daughters are “for” him certainly has a basis in canon just judging from the erratic and worrying behavior of his younger daughters.

jaehaerys is a creep and i hate him and i don’t know how much of this is on purpose (like, will aegon vi or dany find out jaehaerys was a shady pedo and it shatters their world? will dunk and egg find it out and it affects their plot somehow? did george just put it in there to make a comment on power and monarchy and misogyny, similar to aegon iv raping the bracken women? or is just there for window dressing creepiness, like “i will pepper in the fact that jaehaerys is sexually obsessed with his daughters” thing?) or if george just made jaehaerys sexually obsessed with his daughters on accident?

on the one hand, it seems out of character for george. he romanticizes drogo thru dany’s eyes but it’s clear he’s meant to be seen as a creep (dany talking about being pregnant followed by “she had just turned 14” is sickeningly jarring for a reason) and also, drogo dies bc of his own pride. sansa doesn’t like any of the old dudes touching her; she is at least marginally freaked out by her wedding night, the unkiss, and lf & dontos taking liberties with her, and rightly. the story that’s told about the mountain raping a girl and making the father pay him is meant to disgust us. the walk of shame is a harrowing chapter to read, because whatever cersei’s crimes, this sexual humiliation is not something she deserves. on and on. yes, we all hate the way arya is sexualized in the mercy chapter, but crucially, she’s not blithely and happily seducing these pervs, she’s going hard candy on their asses. is this just messy set up for something like that?? i think, given how little dany knows about her family’s crimes that somehow learning jae sexually abused (and maybe even impregnated) his own daughters after she herself experiences sexual abuse would be huge. the same goes for aegon vi learning that sexual abuse runs rampant in his family tree; would he empathize with saera hiding out in essos to escape the sexual abuse of her father, see some of elia and his own plight in her? in gael?

or did george really just. not realize how sexually obsessed jaehaerys was with his daughters?

idk how to end this. where’s the winds of winter george i need answers.

[miley1442111]

what about reader (jj's sister) and rafe getting into a fight and they go to a party separately, and reader makes him jealous and he ends up exposing them to the pogues and it's huge fight

omg this is such a fun idea! idk if i did it justice but I hope you like it <3

family feud

a/n: this isn't exactly canon rafe bc this rafe isn't fully insane so sorry if that bothers you lol. i wrote this for a fem reader and reader wears a dress but imagine whatever you want :) also sorry, jj is kind of an a-hole in this one :(

pairings: rafecameron x reader, brotherjjmaybank x sisterreader, platonicpogues x reader

summary: rafe pisses you off, you got to a party and piss him off... but what happens when jj, your brother, finds out about him?

I'm mad. I'm really fucking mad. I want to piss Rafe off just as much as he pissed me off. The one day a month that my house is empty and we can actually spend time together, Rafe ghosts me and goes fucking golfing. So yeah, I go to the party in a dress that he got me, one he wanted me to wear for him. So…. I wear it to dance with Pope. Pope and I will never see each other like that, we're like siblings, but he’s the only pogue who knows and is even slightly ok with Rafe and I dating. He still hates him, so he’s enjoying this. I catch a glimpse of him. His eyes are dark and he’s staring, a red solo cup in his hand. He nods at me to come over, I shake my head and focus on dancing. The music is loud, really loud. My feet hurt from dancing and honestly I want to make up with Rafe. I want to be near him. I want to stop ignoring his texts. His hundreds of texts. His hundreds of calls.

I had to start leaving my phone at home he was calling me so much. I feel bad, but the idea of reconciling with him feels far-fetched and I'm not bothered to text him back. I don't even know where my phone is.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“He’s looking,” Pope shouts over the music. I haven't seen Rafe for an hour, I don't even see him now.

“Let him look!” I chuckle back. “He fucking deserves it!”

Is this the best way to communicate my feelings? No. Should I probably just tell Rafe how upset I am? Maybe, but knowing him he’d just treat me like one of his groupies, which I am not. I’m his girlfriend of 8 months. 

I feel a hand grab my arm and I gasp. I look up to see Rafe. 

“What the fuck is your problem?” I hiss, trying not to draw attention to ourselves. Pope steps away, saying something about getting another drink.

“You. You’re my fucking problem. You come here, in that fucking dress I bought you and you dance with Pope fucking Heyward. You don’t give me any fucking attention after I’ve been blowing up your phone for days,” He’s mad. He’s really fucking mad.

“Sorry, I was too busy,” I smirk, snatching my arm back. 

“Busy doing fucking what exactly?” He smiles one of his bitter-angry smiles and my sense of pride strengthens. I’m making Rafe Cameron mad. I’m making Rafe Cameron jealous.

“Golfing,” I smirk and his face drops.

“That’s what this shit is about?! If you would’ve just fucking asked baby- I would’ve come over, and none of this would’ve fucking happened! I wanted to be with you that day- fucking Topper pissed me off all fucking day- baby, you should’ve told me-” He gets cut off by a swift punch to the face.

“Get the fuck away from my sister Rafe, or I’ll kill you myself,” Jj shouts, John B holding him back. Rafe gets up from the ground, I can see how furious he is and I grab his hand, leading him away from my brother. He obliges and follows behind me. I weave him through the party-goers, Kiera and Jj shouting my name as we slip away. I bring him into the bathroom, sitting him on the counter as I search for a first-aid kit. 

“He shouldn’t have done that,” Rafe sighs, his breathing sporadic. “Topper, he’s- he’s gonna- he’s gonna beat him u-up. He-he’ll kill him i-if he gets the chance.”

I look up at him, first-aid-kit in hand. “Baby, breathe. I’ll text him now.” I take out my phone and send Topper a message, making him promise to not touch my brother or friends. He promises he won’t, but I know better and tell him to get the car started and that I’ll bring Rafe out to him in a few minutes. “See,” I show Rafe the messages. “He’s going to the car.” 

“Ba-baby I’m so sorry,” His eyes start to water, and my heart breaks. “I shouldn’t have-”

“It’s ok Rafe. I was just mad, I’m sorry,” I smile and start to clean his cut lip. His hands find their way to my waist, holding me gently. 

“I love you,” He blurts out and I drop my hand from his face. His face goes red and he looks down, I smile. Rafe Cameron; Kook King- loves me. Hm. 

“I love you too handsome. But right now, let’s focus on not getting mauled by my brother again, yeah? Let’s get you to the car and then home,” I smile and kiss his cheek, taking his hand to bring him home. He nods and follows. Outside the bathroom is Jj.

“What the fuck are you doing with him?” He grunts, stopping us from walking by.

“We’ll talk about this later Jj-”

“We’ll talk about this now,” He pushes. 

“Jj, fuck off!” I push past him and bring Rafe behind me. We get out of the house to the backyard where almost everyone is and I hear Jj practically scream my name. Everyone looks either to him or me and Rafe and I sigh. 

“Jj please-” I try but he cuts me off.

“You wanna tell me what’s going on between you two? Or do I have to ask around?” Jj shouts and grab someone’s collar, “You know somethin’?” The guy shakes his head, cowering back. He drops him and walks closer. 

“Jj, stop being a dick-”

“We’re dating. We have been for 8 months,” Rafe pipes up from behind me and Jj’s mouth drops open. He lunges forward, but instead of getting to Rafe, he knocks me to the ground. My head hits the hard ground and I whimper in pain. Rafe is immediately by my side.

“You’re ok baby, don’t worry, everything’s going to be fine,” he soothes as he cradles my head in his hands. 

“Rafe,” I start to cry into his touch as I feel Jj’s hand in mine. 

“I-I’m sorry,” Jj sighs. “I’m so sorry.”

“Dude, back up,” John B pulls Jj away as Rafe helps me up. 

“Can we go home?” I whisper to Rafe as I wrap my arm around his bicep, holding onto him for steadiness. 

“Of course baby.”

I knew I would inevitably have to deal with Jj but tonight, tonight is for Rafe and I.

[mavrintarou]

Lord Ushijima Wakatoshi [1]

I tried to do one part... but this got too long. I feel like this is the smuttiest of all Lord series (tell me otherwise - let me know which one you think is the smuttiest lol). If you’re new, welcome to my Lord Haikyuu fandom, I have completed Lord series for Sakusa, Suna, Kita, and the Miya twins, check them out too!

Warning: explicit smut; angst; TW: miscarriage; reader is inexperience

Part two - end

.

Wakatoshi thrust hard one final time before he withdrew and fisted his cock, he groaned as his cum shot thick white spurts all over Y/n’s belly and breasts.

Her eyes shut as her pussy spasm even after his withdrawal, the overstimulating effect he often left her in. Her chest rose with heavy breath as her legs that were pinned to her chest were finally freed from his grip. Y/n didn’t need to open her eyes to hear he was grabbing a towel, as always, he cleaned her up afterward.

Y/n opened her eyes and reached her hand out, indicating for him to give her the towel so she could clean herself up. He ignored her reach and began wiping his essence away.

She didn’t quite understand why he preferred to ejaculate on her, only to wipe it away. Not that she wanted him to cum while he was inside of her.

She lay there with an arm over her eyes while he wiped her down, even between her legs. The first time he did this, she panicked and nearly fought him until he ordered her to remain still with his stern Captain tone.

“We have a mission coming in two days, I need you to prepare – “

“I know, I know…” Y/n cut him off, even though he repeated the same thing every time they had a mission together. Somedays she wondered if she was more his assistant than his second in command.

She rolled over as soon as he set the towel back in the basin, that was her usual cue to leave. She grabbed her yukata and was about to slip it on when she was suddenly on her back once again.

“Who said I was done?”

Y/n’s eyes widened briefly before she quickly blinked them away. Lately, Wakatoshi has been keeping her in his chamber longer than before, not satisfied until he’s had his way with her.

“I’m – I’m sore,” Y/n murmured, cheeks flushing.

Y/n didn’t know the true meaning of soreness until her first night with her Captain. She has gone through the exact training and exercise the rest of her team has endured to earn their current position regardless of her gender and never once has she uttered a complaint, even in the face of soreness.

She knew she was inexperienced and lacked education about sharing a man’s bed since she was essentially raised a boy by her grandfather and spent most of her time in the company of men.

Since the day she rose to second in command, there was never a mission she was not by her captain’s side but the one time that she was assigned to a different mission that he only trusted her to handle… he returned in a state of discomfort.

“What happened to him?” Y/n demanded, being blocked at Captain’s doorway by Shirabu and Ohira.  

Reon avoided Y/n’s eyes, “he… uh – there… he’ll be fine in a couple of… hours. Or days.”

She narrowed her eyes at him before looking at Kenjiro, she knew he would tell her, he was the closest to her on the team. “Tell me Jiro – what’s wrong with Cap?”

Kenjiro looked uncomfortable under her strict gaze before sighing, “he was exposed to some unknown powder during this mission…”

Y/n’s eyes widened, and she made a move to brush past them and see for herself how the captain’s well-being was but they blocked her once more. “Move,” she demanded sternly, never once speaking to them with that tone.

Reon raised his hands in a defense mechanism, “listen, Y/n… you can’t see him right now… for his dignity… and maybe your safety.”

They were speaking in a circle and it was making Y/n frustrated.

“Yes, it is best if you don’t see him within the next… maybe a few days…” Kenjiro added, trying to avoid eye contact.

“If you guys do not get to the point and tell me exactly what is wrong with Cap, I will put you both down.”

Both men’s breath hitched as they straightened their shoulders in reflex. Kenjiro looked at Reon before he nodded. Kenjiro, the team’s medic expert exhaled before speaking, “we believe the unknown drug is a form of an aphrodisiac.” He paused, “since discovering this, Cap… Cap is in pain.”

“Are there no medicine or herbs to help?”

Kenjiro shook his head, “no, it will flush out of his system in time or… with assistance.”

“What kind of assistance?”

“Sexual… he is in a state of sexual desire… that is the only other way to help him is to meet his sexual desires.”

At that exact moment, all three of them jumped when they heard a crash coming within the Captain’s chamber. Both Kenjiro and Reon entered his room finding their captain on the floor naked.

Y/n has seen Wakatoshi topless many times due to tending his wounds but never has she seen him completely naked.

Wakatoshi turned his head, looking at Y/n with hooded dark eyes. “Y/n…” he groaned, a hand reaching out to her. “I need you…”

Kenjiro and Reon struggled to get him back on his feet, dragging him back to his futon.

“Y/n, you should leave – your presence might make it more difficult for –“  Kenjiro is knocked on his feet when Wakatoshi pushes him aside, trying to stand and make his way towards Y/n. “Y/n, leave!”

Reon interfered and wrapped his strong arms around Wakatoshi, “Wakatoshi, you are not in your right mind right now – please go back to the futon!” He was close to pulling the man with the same body size as his back to the futon until Wakatoshi maneuvered, shoving him off– making him fall right on top of Kenjiro, and knocking the wind out of him.

“Jiro!” Y/n ran towards the two but was caught by Wakatoshi in a bear hug. “Cap – get a hold of yourself!” She tried to pull herself free but it was futile when he held on to her tightly. His nose pressed against her exposed collarbone before she felt his hot tongue lick along her neck.

Looking at an unconscious Kenjiro and Reon who is trying to wake him up, a hand grips her jaw forcing her to look into the dark eyes of her captain.

“Only look at me, Y/n.” He growled, before pressing his lips against hers.

Y/n moaned into his mouth before breaking the kiss. “Reon, take Jiro and leave! I’ll handle Wakatoshi from here.” Reon refused, shaking his head but before he could protest, Y/n commanded him. “Go, now!”

Reon lifted the lanky Kenjiro into his arms and tossed him over his shoulder before hurrying out, closing the door behind him.

Immediately, she pushed against him with her might until he let her go. “Wakatoshi… this isn’t like you.” Her captain, whom she had known for years stalked her like she was his prey.

Jiro’s words earlier echo in her ears, meet his sexual desires…

Letting out a frustrated breath, she began to untie her uniform. Each piece of clothing dropped on the ground by her feet until she stood before him naked. She had some knowledge about intimacy between a man and a woman and heard plenty of tips from the men on her team.

She just needed to trick him, get him on the bed so she could knock him out.

Wakatoshi approached her, he looked taller and bigger without his clothing.

Was his shoulders always this broad? She found herself lost in admiration.

“Y/n,” he murmured, reaching to lift her chin so their gaze could meet. “You’re so…” his eyes drop to appreciate her naked form, “beautiful.” His arm snaked around her waist, pressing her against him.

Y/n gasped, feeling the hard ripples of his body pressed against her but what caught her off guard was his cock she has been avoiding was pressing against her abdominal. She pressed her palms against his chest to put space but Wakatoshi was faster, his hands picked her up easily off the ground. Her arms wrapped around his shoulder and legs around his torso. She can feel his rough callus hands supporting her naked bottom.

“Kiss me, Y/n… please…”

He held her higher, making her look down at him. Her cheeks flushed as he gazed at her desperately, pleadingly for her to put him out of his misery. Leaning down, she pressed her mouth against him, meeting his kiss hungrily.

She has kissed one other man but has never kissed them as intensely as now. She couldn’t recognize the lewd moans that were coming from her mouth continuing to meet Wakatoshi’s movement.

“Wai – wait Captain – “ she broke off the kiss, and flinched when she heard him growl in disappointment. His lips move to her jaw, nipping down to her throat. She looked over at the futon to see if she could get him to lie down, then maybe she could take the opportunity and knock him unconscious.

“I need you,” Wakatoshi murmured against her throat. “Need you now, Y/n… please…”

She gently lifted his face, meeting his dilated pupils with her gaze. Her heart raced faster than ever before. Throughout her entire life, she has never been swayed by anything yet at this moment, her heart and mind wanted to give in. She felt an undeniable yearning to yield, to grant him what he sought. “O – okay,” she heard herself say, “just once…” Her heart skipped a beat when his pouty lips curved into a smile, “don’t – don’t make me regret it…”

Wakatoshi muttered something under his breath before moving. Y/n turned her head to see where he was carrying her and frowned when he walked straight to the dresser and set her slightly on the edge. He pulled away and her eyes locked with his thick hard cock that was leaking from the tip. Her belly was smeared of the white milky essence.

Any words she had was lost as she watched him stroke his cock, her jaw dropped unknowingly as she has never seen something so exotic before.

He stepped forward, pressing the tip to her pussy, bit by bit he pushed forward and groaned, “relax for me.”

The tip impaled her entrance, making her tense at the foreign intrusion. “I can’t…” Y/n shook her head, whimpering, “I’ve never done this before… this is weird…”

“Look at me,” she looked up, the tone demanding her as her Captain.

Wakatoshi pressed his lips to hers, his tongue immediately searching to tangle with hers. As soon as she was distracted, he thrust in one go, fully embedded inside of her pussy.

He wrapped an arm around her back to keep her from pushing away from him. He cooed soothing words kissing her mouth as she swore at him about hurting her.

“You’re okay,” he repeated, kissing her tears away. “You can do this, you can take me, Y/n… I know you can otherwise I wouldn’t need you…”

Her fist gently beat against his shoulders, “you’re too… you’re too big…”

Wakatoshi half chuckled and choked a groan as her hot walls throb around his cock. He slowly began moving his hip in shallow thrusts until her wetness has lubricated his cock. As soon as it became easier for his entire length to penetrate her fully, his thrusts fastened. He groaned, pressing his forehead against hers, “you’re too tight… fuck I love it though… you feel so good…” Her soft whimpers gradually turned into moans as he continued to coo assuring affirmation. “You’re doing good… so good… you’re so good for me.” He hooked one of her legs over his arm, widening her legs to accommodate when he thrust inside her again. “You’re taking me so well…”

Y/n followed his gaze and looked down and was mesmerized at his cock pump into her pussy. How is it that seconds ago it was pain she felt, but now it is pleasure? “Cap – “

“My name.”

She peered up at him, biting down on her lip to hold in her lewd moans she never knew she could make.

“My name, Y/n.” He commanded again with a soft tone, “say my name.”

She shook her head, it felt too intimate saying his name while his cock was buried deep inside of her.

He shook his head with a grin, “stubborn woman.” He hooked his other arm underneath her knee, lifting her completely off the dresser. “Wrap your arms around my neck.”

She followed his command and immediately regretted it when he easily lifted her hips and began thrusting into her at the same time. Y/n’s grip tightened around his neck being at his mercy. “Cap – “

“Say my name!” Wakatoshi growled, nipping her ear. When she still refused, he sped his movement along with bouncing her harder on his cock.

“My Lord!”

Wakatoshi's movement halted as he unexpectedly heard her address him in that term. “Ahh… fuck…” he cursed as his cock pulsated. “Y/n… you little tease…” he whispered hotly into her ear. He just came but he was not close to being satisfied.

Y/n’s eyes widen as she quickly leaned back to look at him when he continue to keep rocking her on his cock. “What –“ The rest of her words turned into a moan as he started to bounce her on his cock. “Wait – you just – “

His hot breath teased her ear as he nipped the lobe, “more Y/n… I need more…”

“Wa – Waka – Toshi! Wait – you’re going too – fast!” Her ears were tuning in the lewd sound of their skin slapping together. “’Toshi! Stop – I feel – I feel weird!” Each time his cock filled her for a split second, it sends a pulse to the place she never knew existed. Her lower belly quivered like she was going to explode any second.

“Let go, Y/n – cum for me…” he whispered and commanded, “cum on my cock.”

Her back arched, her toes curled and her head thrown back as her body trembled. Her pussy throbbed and constricted around his cock. Wakatoshi's low groan mixed with hers as he finally stopped thrusting into her.

Her eyes widen feeling something warm shoot inside of her for the second time. Y/n fell limp against him, her head resting against the crook of his neck and shoulder as the last ounce of strength she had depleted.

Wakatoshi was lost in his world, still coming down from his high. His cock was still hard, the drug had not completely worn off even after such intense sex. “Y/n?” he called her name. When she did not respond he lifted her enough to slip his cock out. He heard something spill and glanced down to see a pool of milky essence.

He could feel her steady breath fanning his neck and secure his grip around her bottom, carrying her gently to the futon.

“Just stay.”

Y/n blinked, breaking out of the memories of how their rendezvous had commenced. “No, I want to sleep in my chamber.” She quickly got up but he caught her wrist, gazing at her with a soft expression that she had seen recently and making her heart race.

“Are you okay?” His tone filled with worry. “Shall I escort you back to your chamber?”

She shook her head, brushing his hand off, “I am okay, I’ll see you tomorrow.” She hurried before he could convince her to stay. Each time, it was becoming a challenge to say no to him.

[5 days later]

.

.

It has been a few hours since Y/n finally woke up from days of deep slumber.

All she could recollect from the mission was that they were ambushed. Before heading out, she had an eerie and unsettling feeling about the mission that she had never felt before. Half a day into their mission something did not feel right when her six senses noticed the quietness around them.

Whatever had happened has been blocked out of her memories.

It was evident of her substantial injuries, her right shoulder was bandaged from an arrow piercing, and a stab wound in her left thigh.

Those were expected injuries, however, the one she did not expect and was still wrapping her head around even after the doctor had left her chambers was that she had miscarried.

She was pregnant.

Since the doctor left, her hand had been resting on her abdomen, where her unborn baby is no longer living.

She was foolish to disregard the risk of pregnancy after many nights spent in her captain's bed. He had been careful to withdraw and ejaculate on her body. Y/n was oblivious to the idea that she could still conceive otherwise.  Looking back, she must have conceived from her first night with him. It would be likely that she might have been pregnant prior to them making their intimate meetups a routine. She recalled the peculiar feeling of him cumming continuously inside of her the first night and it was that moment when she was lost in her bliss and pleasure she neglected to take any precautions.

The doctor determined the miscarriage was likely caused by the excessive blood loss she suffered. Her wounds themselves had put her body in shock and if the doctor calculated correctly, Y/n was more than three months along in the pregnancy. “You were still in the risky stages of pregnancy, it is nothing to dwell on as most women face this risk altogether.”

Her hand pressed against her flat belly, recollecting a few days prior when she noticed the slight weight gain but did not put too much thought into it.

“Captain went berserk.” Shirabu quietly informed, “you may not know but after everything, we believe that the ambush was to take you out first and then everyone else. Every one of them targeted you while you were trying to keep Captain safe.”

Y/n pondered, confused as to why she would have been the target but it would make sense strategically if enemies cannot get to the main target, then take out their protector first.

“My guess is that if they took you out first, it would be easier to take out the rest of us.” Shirabu stood up, “but please rest, for the time being, you are ordered to rest. Captain has ordered a checklist for the doctor to sign off before you’re allowed to return.” He kept it to himself, but he was sure the Captain would not let her return to active duty. He knew that Ushijima Wakatoshi would never allow her to lift her sword or wear her uniform after this mission.

“Shirabu,” Y/n called his name quietly, “does he – does he know about –“

Shirabu reached for her hand and squeezed it, “yes, he knows but only a few of us, including me and Reon. Do not fret, no one else won’t know.”

After he left her to rest, Y/n stared out the window and she didn’t notice the tears that slipped from the corner of her eyes.

Wakatoshi needed a moment to absorb Y/n’s report. His breath caught in his throat when the doctor reported to him her injuries and informed him additionally, the news of her miscarriage.  

.

.

“This is precisely why some argue against women serving in the Shiratorizawa Scout regime,” he lamented, shaking his head in disappointment. “This incident alone could potentially lead to her removal as second in command once the report makes it up to the leadership and shame the regime altogether.” Closing his briefcase, he remarked, “the loss of the child has placed a significant mental burden on her. I do not believe she was aware that she was pregnant.” He pushed his specs upward, “even if she isn’t removed from the squad, it’s uncertain whether she’ll fully recover.”

The doctor remained entirely unaware of the identity of the person he was addressing, oblivious to the fact that Ushijima Wakatoshi was, in fact, the father of the unborn child.

Wakatoshi loomed over the diminutive doctor, whose expression swiftly transformed into one of fear. “You will not breathe a word of this outside these walls, do you comprehend?” Wakatoshi cautioned.

The doctor nodded, responding barely audible as he muttered, “un – understood.”

After dismissing him, Wakatoshi sat in his chair in deep thought. Had Y/n really not known she was pregnant all this time? And when did it happen? He had been careful to pull out every time even if he wanted nothing more than to cum inside of her…

“Argh,” he groaned, burying his face into his hands. If Y/n was pregnant, it meant that it must have been from the first time. Memories came flooding back as he remembers the exhilarating feeling when he would watch his cum ooze out every time he thrust back into her. His cock was still hard as a rock even after so many rounds. Y/n would whimper, crying out that she was too full of his cum and he would fuck his cum back into her until they were both sticky with their mixed essence.

“This is all my fault,” he muttered, fingers fisting his hair tightly. She was in this predicament because of him.

Wakatoshi shook his head to shake off the memories, it was not the time to think about the past. He shot up from his seat and headed towards Y/n’s room.

Entering her room with a hushed step, he discovered her seated by the window, her expression devoid of emotion. It was a welcome sight compared to finding her asleep every time he visited.

His gaze shifted to the untouched tray of food and he let out a sigh, remarking gently, “you’ve hardly touched your meal.”

As soon as their eyes met, Wakatoshi swiftly approached her, kneeling by her side and enveloping her in his arms, cradling her delicate form. Aside from tangling their limbs in bed, outside of that, they refrained from touching one another. He whispered softly, his voice filled with concern, “please, tell me. What do you want? What can I do to bring the light back into your eyes?” His words were muffled as he buried his face into her lap, seeking to comfort her.

After a brief pause, he raised his head and gazed into her vacant eyes. Even while kneeling, he remained taller than her as she occupied the chair. Tenderly, he cradled her cheek and gently urged, “Y/n, please, speak to me.”

She leaned forward, wrapping her arms around his torso, burying her face into his chest.

His embrace grew tender as he enveloped her, holding her tightly. A hitch in his breath accompanied her trembling form and muffled sobs against his yukata.

All he could offer was a tighter grip, a comforting presence in her time of need.

[2 weeks later]

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Reon and Kenjiro did not dare breathe as Wakatoshi was a ticking bomb.  

Many often found him intimidating, though he was truly a gentle giant.

But in this particular moment, gentleness was nowhere to be found.  

Their gaze fixated on the slightly crumpled piece of paper clutched tightly in their Captain’s hand. It was almost certain that this was the official report regarding Y/n’s release from duty. The entire team had just been informed of her release and had come to inquire more information about it from their Captain, only to discover that he was the last to be informed.

Wakatoshi let out a low exhale, his focus still zoned out as he recollected his and Y/n’s last conversation.

“They will remove me.” Y/n said to Wakatoshi, “promise me you’ll pick Reon to replace me.”

Wakatoshi brought their foreheads together, “you’re not getting replaced, I’ll make sure your report only lists your injuries, nothing more.” He was willing to do anything to keep her by his side. He locked eyes with her, gazing into hers. “You are not alone.” His hand tightened behind her nape, “it was my child too, Y/n.” His statement must have caught her off guard as she flinched. “I may not know the pain you’re feeling, the suffering and the grieving but know this Y/n, I am in pain too. I’m suffering too. And I’m grieving for our child too.” His features softened, and he leaned up to kiss her forehead. “I’ll take all responsibility, I am at fault.” Wakatoshi sighed softly, he cupped her face with both hands, “Y/n, if you can give me six months, I will step down as Captain and we can settle down anywhere you would like.”

Y/n frowned and pulled away from his touch. “No, you shouldn’t do that.”

Wakatoshi frowned in return, “why not?”

“You do not need to do that for me, please don’t do that for me.” She pulls away from him completely, standing up and walking away. “It was not your fault at all, Cap. It wasn’t like you forced me, I allowed myself to get involved with you.”

“And it was my carelessness that made you pregnant, therefore, my responsibility.”

“And I am telling you that you do not need to take responsibility for it.” She shot back, “I am tired, please leave me alone.”

Wakatoshi left without uttering another word, and that marked the final exchange and encounter between them. The next day, he was promptly dispatched on a mission, keeping him away for half a week. Upon his return, exhaustion overcame him, and he slumbered for a continuous sixteen hours. When he finally awoke and sought out Y/n, her room was void of any presence. He initially assumed she might have been on break or he had approached at an inopportune moment, only to find her room empty upon his return each subsequent day.

“Captain,” Reon called out quietly, “what…”

“I don’t know, but I will find out,” Wakatoshi promised, exiting his office. He marched straight into his leader’s office without notice and slammed the letter on the desk. “What is this?” his voice is low and quiet.

The individual whom Wakatoshi regarded as a father figure let out a sigh and removed his glasses, setting the stage for a silent and intense gaze-lock between them. “It is exactly what it means, Wakatoshi.” He sighed, lighting up a cigarette, “I did the best I could to have her be discharged instead of dismissed. You know something like that could not have been swept under the rug.” He exhaled a puff of smoke and the frustration he had been carrying on his shoulder. “Y/n is one of a kind and she has shown nothing but loyalty and commitment to the regime. She will be a great loss to us but you both knew the bylaws.” He eyed Wakatoshi, “if it was anyone, you both would have been dismissed with dishonor but because you both are highly valued, I could only save you.”

“Tell me,” Wakatoshi began, his voice cold, “where in the bylaws states that a relationship cannot be established between a man and a woman?”

“That is the thing, you were comrades, you made the mistake and treated her like a woman.” He shook his head, “look, Waka – we are men and we have our needs but you should have found someone else, not someone who is your second-in-command.” He killed his cigarette and released the last puff of smoke.

Wakatoshi’s face hardened, “what happened and what was shared between Y/n and I is no one’s business when there are no laws that state that a man and a woman on the same Corp cannot seek a romantic relationship.” His body towered over his leader, making him slightly cower. “I’d like to see where that is written.”

“It – it may not be written but it’s definitely frowned upon.” He did not understand why Wakatoshi was making a big deal out of it. “Do you feel for this woman, Ushijima?”

“I owe you no explanation, I will be clearing my office and you will see and accept my immediate resignation letter by the end of the night.” Wakatoshi was out the door before his leader could utter a word, still processing his words.

Y/n gazed at her old and long-abandoned family home, realizing it had been over 20 years since she had last set foot inside. Pushing the gates open, she entered the property and took stock of the work that awaited her to bring it back to its former glory.

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The basket in her hand has become slightly heavy filled with vegetables and meat as she shopped. Y/n stared across the market at the textile store, seeing various kimonos on display.

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.

For years, she wore custom uniforms seven days a week, which left her with little need to have kimonos or yukatas, aside from the ones she wore to bed. The few she owned, she had brought with her, but they were all in black. As she examined the yellow kimono with white floral prints, Y/n found herself strangely drawn to it.

“I thought it was you, Y/n.”

Y/n looked up, her eyes widening as a smile graced her lips. “Chigaya Maru.”

She lost count of how many years it had been since she last saw him, from a little boy to a grown adult. His shoulders were broad and well-built, and she couldn’t help but believe that he had likely assumed the mantle of their family’s longstanding sword-smithing business.

“My mom would be so thrilled to hear you have finally returned home.” His expression softened as he smiled, “we’ve all missed you.”

Maru walked beside Y/n in silence as they made their way back to her house. “Come by the shop tomorrow, I’ll show you the pieces I’ve made.”

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They made it to the front gates, “sounds good, I’ll swing by soon. Have a good night, Maru.” She entered the gates, closing them behind her. She waited until she heard Maru’s footsteps fade before entering her home.

Her home still required cleaning and some additional repairs, but it was now habitable, and being in this familiar setting brought her a comforting sense of reassurance.

She laid down on the new futon she purchased and rolled over towards the window. For the first time in her life, she felt so alone.

It hadn’t occurred to her that her team may have been strangers at one point, but they all became brothers to her and became a family to her.

The captain’s face entered her thoughts, and she tightly shut her eyes, feeling the pain in her heart intensify, the ache of missing him becoming almost unbearable. Did he know of her absence by now?

In such a short amount of time that they were intimately involved, she would have never imagined how challenging it would be now to walk away from someone when they made you feel… loved and wanted. And made you feel like a woman.

Her hand slipped down and in between her legs as the place in between her legs ached.

Ushijima Wakatoshi made her addicted to his touch.

Her fingers slipped in between her yukata as she pressed the aching nub before sliding the pad of her fingers along her slit like how he always did it.

Y/n rolled onto her back and widened her legs, her finger teased her clit, rubbing it in circles. A lewd whimper escaped her lips the moment her finger slipped past her folds. “’Toshi…”

Her fingers were nothing compared to his but she tried to mimic his movements.

She let her mind imagine that they were his, that he was there in between her legs and fingering her with not one, or two but three of his thick fingers, curling them each time they were knuckle deep.

Her other hand caresses her chest until she finds her perky nipple, twisting and tugging it.

Wakatoshi never spared her nipples, always suckling them like how she had seen a mother breastfeed her baby. She had never seen a woman nurse a baby before and couldn’t help but be reminded when Wakatoshi’s lips found hers and suckled hard.

The naive Y/n had thought with the way he was suckling, milk would come out. “Toshi… you’re sucking too hard… I don’t have milk for you.” She blurted out.

He lifted his head, caught off guard by her comment. “Of course, you wouldn’t have milk, you aren’t lactating.” He chuckled at the confused expression, “you are not pregnant, you do not need to fret about lactating.”

“But you keep sucking like…” she blushed, turning her face away.

Wakatoshi gently gripped her chin and turned her face so they were looking at one another, “like what?”

“Like a… baby.”

“Like this?” he takes her nipple back into his mouth and suckles hard. “Do you like it when I do that?”

She nodded her head, “yes… I do.”

Y/n’s fingers easily thrust in and out of her pussy with how wet she has become. “Toshi…” she repeated, calling his name as her fingers fastened until her orgasm erupted. Her hot gummy walls squeezed and trembled around her fingers.

She looks down, seeing her legs spread wide and fingers still inside her pussy. She had never touched herself before yet, here she is, pleasuring herself the way Wakatoshi did. Her head falls back onto her pillow as she imagined how he would have cum all over her abdomen, his groan each time spurts ejaculated from the tip of his thick cock. She remembered the first time he had done so, he smeared it over her skin like it was lotion.

Y/n spread her palm over her abdomen, rubbing it like Wakatoshi had always done so. Her hand paused as she thought about her child who was no longer growing within her.

She found it amusing how overnight, she could change from a woman who would not hesitate to kill on sight to a woman who grieved for the child she did not know. She never knew the latter woman even existed in her. In an instant, she no longer wanted to be part of the Corp, the almost maternal instinct within her took over and the new her wanted nothing to do with that lifestyle no more. It was best she left the Corp and returned home to settle quietly and start a new life.

.

[Five months later]

A towel pressed along her forehead, dabbing the sweat she wasn’t even aware of. Maru smiled softly down at her, “don’t strain yourself, Y/n.”

Y/n returned the smile and nodded, “don’t worry, I’m not.” She continued to sharpen the katana.

She was blessed with a job with the Chigaya. They were in need of a sword sharpener and that was a specialty Y/n possessed. The business sales increased drastically within days as many sought to have their sword refined.

“It is a mixture of pressure and light-handed when sharpening,” Y/n informed, showing Maru one afternoon. “You must use the right amount of water along with the pressure to stay consistent and prevent any damage to the sword.”

Maru’s father walks in, carrying a sword carefully in his arms. He set it on a stand, “here is another drop-off.” He sighed, his eyes filled with gratitude as he looked at Y/n. For generations, the family business thrived, but since Y/n had joined the team and taken on the role that had remained vacant for two decades, the business had experienced a remarkable resurgence. The word had spread like wildfire, and Chigaya Swords was not attracting clients from far and wide.

“Thank you, I will get to it shortly here,” Y/n answered with a smile. She does the final wipe-down before sliding the sword she was refining back into its scabbard.

“Y/n,” Maru’s father called her name softly, “where did you learn sword sharpening skills?”

“When my grandfather came for me, I stayed with him while he was still serving in the Corp. Being the only girl, I wasn’t exactly welcomed or liked and the man who was in charge of managing the weapons room, allowed me to help when I would always watch him from his doorway.” She is reminded how she was always pestering the man she called Uncle with questions to the point where he just had her try it out for herself. It wasn’t afterward that he realized that she might be useful to him after all and took her in as his apprentice.

When her Uncle was not welding a sword, he was teaching her how to hold a sword, how to swing, and everything there is to know.

At the age of seventeen, her Uncle encouraged her to join the swordsman tournament within the Corp, the winner would be recognized as a member of the Corp. On the day of the event, she shocked the entire crowd but nothing could be counted against her as there were no rules stating a woman could not participate.

She shocked the crowd a second time in one day when she was the last one standing, winning the tournament.

Y/n turned down the offer to join the Corp, insisting she would become a weapon welder.

For the first time, her grandfather, patted her head, “I am proud of you.”

He was murdered during an abrupt attack on the base. Y/n herself was gravely injured but as soon as her wounds healed, she hunted down the man who was responsible for her grandfather’s death and others.

She returned, bloody and battered but with the head of the Colonel.

Maru’s father affectionately patted her head, evoking memories of her grandfather and uncle, the last two who had done so. “We are deeply thankful to you,” he expressed. “Finding a skilled sword sharpener is no easy task. Not everyone possesses the gift touch to refine a blade as you do.” He looks past Y/n and at Maru, “come, I need your help.”

The two men leave the room that has become Y/n’s sanctuary. She reached to touch the top of her head and smiled. Such a simple gesture but it has always warmed her heart and soul.

Y/n peered out the window, her view obscured by the torrential rain. Rainy days had always made her sword-sharpening sessions feel therapeutic. Her gaze then shifted to the last remaining sword, the one Maru’s father had recently delivered.

She let out a sigh and extended her hand toward the sword.

Just as her hand was about to make contact with it, something jolted her, causing her hand to freeze in mid-air, a mere centimeters away from the sword. Her heart pounded loudly in her chest as she instantly recognized the handle of the sword.

“Your sword, Lord Ushijima,” Y/n spoke softly, carefully lifting the sword with both hands and offering it to him. “I hope you won’t mind that I completed your sword for you. We both know… Uncle would have been honored to present you with this blade.”

Uncle had just completed the construction of a custom-made sword for Lord Ushijima Wakatoshi, only to succumb to a fatal medical condition shortly thereafter. When Y/n and the others discovered him, he wore a serene smile on his face, having peacefully departed from the world.

“I’ve made some adjustments to the handle,” she said, lifting the sword above her head. “I believe a longer handle will be more fitting for you, especially since you swing with your left hand. This added length will provide both increased flexibility and stability in your swings.”

Y/n’s hands trembled as she gingerly lifted the sword. Among the swords she worked on so far, the Captain’s sword was the only one she knew of that had an additional inch and a half added to the handle.

There was but one way to confirm the sword’s owner. With a gentle pull of the scabbard, she revealed the blade, and as she turned it, her breath caught her throat.

As the final touch before handing the sword to its rightful owner, she meticulously engraved the letterings: Shiratorizawa – Ushijima Wakatoshi

E/n: next part might be shorter or like half of this.

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@queenelleee @mfreedomstuff @erintaro @callmeraider @chaotic-fangirl-blog @wolffmaiden @cloud-lyy

[v3x-y0urs3lf]

Qiu Lin x Loner / unpopular / shy? MC

Written during the demo ⭐️

Tamarack x Popular reader

Depending on what steps I’m talking about, I’ll change Qiu’s pronouns..

Also, I’m aware that being a ‘loner’ or unpopular doesn’t necessarily mean you’re shy. I do occasionally mention the MC being shy, unlike step 1 Qiu I’m not always going to be able to be too accommodating.

I kind of got sidetracked during the end of Step 3, I’m sorry it doesn’t really fit with the theme.

I am incredibly tired right now, apologies if the English isn’t clear. I did not proof read this.

————————————————————

I feel like this trope perfectly fits Qiu during a majority of the steps (1-3 I don’t really know about 4.) mainly because Qiu - despite not really intending on it, just is naturally popular even during step 2 (somehow?)

Step one Qiu just doing his usual thing with being overly accommodating and super welcoming to the new neighbour and they’re just.. not accepting it?

You can try and turn Qiu down softly or even just straight up ignore him and he’d.. accept it? I dunno, going off by Qiu’s normal reactions to when you choose to dismiss him.. he doesn’t seem like he’d care unless someone’s starting to judge or bother the MC and vice versa.

I’d like to just highlight that like.. everyone knows Qiu? I quite literally just imagine a bunch of kids during school constantly asking to play with him and while Qiu feels a bit too mean to decline.. he really wants to go play with his new neighbour?

Qiu would try and introduce the MC (and Tamarack.. maybe.) to all of his other friends but.. Neither of them are really budging which puts Qiu at a bit of a cross point.

I’m honestly not too sure what he’d do, lol. My heart wants me to say that Qiu would just go play with the MC anyways, regardless of how many people want him to play with t them but. My brain is telling me he’d give in to all the majority and play with them for a while before going to find the MC later.

Does that mean Qiu doesn’t want to go play with the MC instead? No. Does that mean Qiu doesn’t look their way occasionally while he’s playing tag with the other kids? No. Does that mean Qiu hurts the other kids’ feelings by straight up turning them down? Also no.

Logically thinking, despite what he wants- Qiu would pick to accomodate for the bigger crowd but leave a section of his time to make up for ‘ditching’ the MC for a moment.

It’s very obvious around that Qiu will always go back for the MC. No matter how fun the game is, No matter how distracted/forgetful he usually gets, No matter how many people he’s playing with- He will. Without a doubt. Go talk or play with the MC for at least 10 minutes before break or whatever ends.

Now, Step two.. “All they want in life is a little peace with the ones they trust. Such as, potentially their very favourite neighbor/neighbour.”

Qiu is still very obviously and very much ‘popular’. That never changes throughout their life (probably). They just don’t want to be.

Picture Qiu and MC, chilling by themselves and just avoiding people. By this stage there shouldn’t be any shyness or complete hatred and so, the two of them just sit with each other comfortably as Qiu rejects and declines any and all offers to hang out with anyone else but MC, Ren, Baxter(?) and.. potentially Tamarack? (Not sure about the last two.)

Unfortunately, Qiu can’t control their popularity or ‘Acquaintances’/old friends and everyone does notice when the ‘popular kid’ starts solely hanging out with one person in particular.

I’m not saying MC is getting bullied.. I’m just saying everyone can tell there is obvious favouritism and high school students can and will be mean.. take that as you will.

This is totally the time for “doesn’t get the hype but warms up to person B”.

I might just be biased but.. After 4 years you’d think you’d warm up to the neighbour kid enough to start to.. tolerate? Be content? .. perhaps even enjoy the presence of?

I don’t want to describe the MC too much but let’s just say the feelings between the both of them are mutual. (As in two teens just wanting to get away from the world.)

The two of you find solace in each other’s presence, the two of you having a mutual understanding that you both don’t really want to interact with the world but you’re totally fine with each other.

I hate how short step 2 was but I don’t know how else to describe angsty teens being angsty teens. So we’re moving onto Step three.

Qiu now understands the MC more, After having 8 years knowing each other and at least 4 years of deep conversations as angsty teenagers they can now officially say they understand your point of view.

Qiu doesn’t try to push the MC out of their comfort zone like he would’ve back in Step 1 but they certainly wouldn’t leave the MC to exactly stay in their own shell of aloofness.

Qiu does try to suggest getting out there, meeting new people but if you totally don’t want to- Up to you! They aren’t you and so they will NOT make that decision for you.

Autumn is up for a chat if you’re looking for one though, even the quietest, shyest, most aloof people in town sometimes need someone their age to talk to. Qiu gets it.

You were there through a very deep part of Qiu’s life and they are ready to be for you too if you want them there. Qiu can’t promise that they’ll help solve your problems or make you the talk of the town, but you better bet that they’ll cherish your relationship far after death do the two of you part.

[sansaorgana]

📻 PLAYLIST — LEADER OF THE PACK

TRACK 1. — HE'S A GOOD GUY (YES, HE IS) BY THE MARVELETTES ⏮ ⏸ ⏭

PAIRING — Benny Cross x fem!Reader

SUMMARY — On the first day of high school you meet a new friend. Your parents say he's from the wrong side of the tracks but you can't be convinced as you develop a crush on him, not knowing yet that it is only the beginning of a much bigger adventure you are going to have with Benny Cross in the next few years.

AUTHOR’S NOTE — The gif is NOT a faceclaim – the Reader's looks are not described. I just wanted the vibe of a retro high school and it's not even the correct era lol I have no idea yet how many parts this story will be but I missed writing for Austin's characters and I wanted to finally write down the idea I've had for a while now. Also, this time I decided to lowkey use the playlist format since this sort of music is one of my favourite genres (old r&b, soul, doo wop etc.) 🥰 Of course you don't have to actually listen to those songs! 😅

WARNINGS — era accurate sexism and mindset of characters (I assumed it would be like late 1950s / early 1960s and they are from a small town), Reader and Benny are minors in this part (they are not even a couple, though)

WORD COUNT — 5,470

ENGLISH IS MY SECOND LANGUAGE.

LEADER OF THE PACK (TRACK 1.)

“Have you made any new friends at school?” Your mother asked with a smile when you were chewing on a steak with mashed potatoes. You nearly sighed at her question, trying very hard not to roll your eyes. Why were parents always asking that?

Well, to be fair, you had never had many friends.

There was Rachel whom you had known ever since you two had been toddlers. Rachel was definitely your best friend. Back in the day there had also been Tammy. There had always been the three of you everywhere but for about a year now Tammy had been acting differently. Ever since she had started dating, that is. Her boyfriend Louis was in the football team and he wasn’t even saying hi to you or Rachel. 

“I don’t know if it counts as making a friend but…” you started, nervously fidgeting with the fork in your hand. The person you were about to mention was a boy and you were scared of everyone’s reactions.

Your mother would tease, probably. Father and older brother would begin their interrogation as if it was anything serious.

“Miss Cooper sat me with this one boy,” you finally revealed and you watched your father lowering the newspaper he had been hiding behind until now. He raised an eyebrow at you after exchanging a meaningful look with your older brother Luke.

“Why did she tell you to sit with a boy?” Your mother smiled.

“What boy?” Your father asked, harshly.

“I’m supposed to help him in class. He’s nice but not the brightest, if you get me,” you tried to explain. “He’s not stupid – just slow when it comes to studying,” you quickly added.

“So he’s stupid,” Luke rolled his eyes.

“No!” You defended your new friend immediately.

“Who is he?” Your father repeated the question, irritated already that you had ignored him the first time and that you were fighting with your brother. Women in that household were supposed to be quiet and obedient.

He hadn’t survived the war for his own daughter to act like a brat – that was what your father was often saying. He was using the war to guilt trip you, your mother and Luke whenever he thought it was needed. 

“His name is Benny,” you nodded at your father. “Benjamin Cross,” you added.

Your parents looked at each other with a quiet sigh.

“What is it?” You asked and looked at your brother questioningly but he seemed to be as oblivious as you were why your parents reacted that way.

“I’m sure he is a nice boy…” your mother started softly, “but he is not from a good family.”

“They’re from the wrong side of the tracks,” your father explained. “Doesn’t surprise me that the boy is slow. I’ve never seen his father sober. I think he’s lost every job he has ever had.”

“And his mother?” Luke asked, curious already. One thing about your brother was that he was extremely nosy and an awful gossip.

“What about his mother? I haven’t seen her in ages,” your father looked at your mother.

“I do believe that Mrs. Cross passed away some time ago,” your mother hummed to herself. “Yes! I remember now,” she nodded eagerly. “She died two years ago. Evie told me about it last winter when we were Christmas shopping.”

“What Evie?” Your father asked.

“You know Evie! The one living down the road. Jack’s wife, that accountant.”

“Ah, yeah, yeah, Jack’s wife,” your father picked up the newspaper again. “Either way, Benny Cross is not your new friend,” he decided as he gave you a stern look. You felt your cheeks heating up. “He’s just a boy that Miss Cooper sat you with to help him. That’s it,” he finished and hid himself behind the newspaper again.

“And if he ever bothers you, just tell me!” Luke pointed his finger at you and you nodded nervously, going back to your meal.

Even though your father had decided that Benny Cross was not your friend, it was difficult to remember about that. Perhaps his grades were not good and his clothes were poor but who ever cared about such things? What mattered was that he knew how to make you laugh even though most of the time he was a quiet guy.

In fact, he was making you laugh so much that Miss Cooper angrily separated you two after three weeks of sitting together. She gave you a scolding look and said those words that would make your blood run cold under any other circumstances:

“I am so disappointed in you, (Y/N).”

But now you didn’t really care. You were just angry that she separated you from Benny. You introduced him to Rachel during lunch break but Rachel was not convinced.

“I don’t mind him. And you know that I couldn’t care less about his family!” She gasped when you accused her of being prejudiced. “It’s just… I think he might have a bad influence on you. On the both of us. We shouldn’t hang out with him for too long. But it’s very noble that you want to help him with his grades,” she assured you quickly when she spotted annoyance on your face.

“Why noble?” You asked her. “I didn’t even think of that. I just want to help my friend,” you explained.

“Oh, admit it!” Rachel giggled. “You fancy him.”

“What?!” Your eyes widened and you stopped walking, adjusting the books in your hand. Rachel chuckled and stopped as well, turning around to face you.

“Oh, (Y/N), come on, I have eyes, too. He’s handsome with those baby blue eyes and golden hair. And I’m sure you haven’t missed those muscles under his shirt. If it’s true what they say about his family, I am convinced he is used to physical work,” she covered her mouth to hide another giggle escaping her lips.

Truth to be told, you had never seen Benny Cross as a potential romantic interest… until now. You swallowed thickly at Rachel’s words, realising they were all true – he was a handsome boy with a devilish smile.

“Don’t worry, I won’t tell anyone,” Rachel assured you. “But please, don’t become another Tammy and don’t leave me behind just because you have a crush!”

“I won’t!” You promised her with widened eyes and you grabbed her by her wrist to squeeze it. “I promise.”

Ever since that conversation with Rachel, you began to treat Benny a little differently. When he was making you laugh, you were trying to make your laughter sound more girly as you would throw your head back and fix your hair in a feminine manner. Instead of making silly faces at him, you started to cover your face with your hand to show him how flustered you were becoming. And for the very first time you didn’t spend your pocket money on a new record or a book – no, you spent it on a new pastel pink ribbon for your hair even though you knew that Benny would teasingly pull on it at school.

His hands were often dirty so whenever he pulled on it, he was leaving a small mark on the soft fabric of the ribbon. If it was any other boy, you would get frustrated and angry but you would never get angry at Benny – in fact, you were laying on the bed in the evenings, listening to your dreamy records and brushing the ribbon with your fingertips, tracing the marks left behind by Benny’s dirty fingers.

You never minded the dirty hands – they only meant he was working hard. He revealed to you that he had to do a lot of jobs after school to help his father to earn enough money to get through the month. In the end, instead of getting a thanks, he would often get a beating from his drunk old man. He was never talking kindly about him and you couldn’t blame Benny for that. There was a lot of hatred in your new friend whenever he mentioned his father and those were the moments when you were quite scared but also intrigued – when his pretty eyes filled with sparkles and hatred. He would quickly soften again, though.

It was obvious, though, that he had no time to study after school or do his homework. You were trying to help him but he was too ashamed to invite you over to his place and you were scared of taking you home because your father would not be happy about it. You never said anything about it but it was as if Benny knew anyway – he never proposed to go to your place after school. So, the only time you had to help him study was during the lunch break.

Rachel was sometimes sitting with you two but she was not happy about it. She had you all for herself after school, though, so she was trying to be understanding. When it came to Benny’s friends… Well, he didn’t have them.

Benny was too strong and too mean looking to be pushed around so the kids just left him alone and let him be. However, the boys from the football team – Tammy’s boyfriend included – were often making comments about Benny being stupid, poor or weird. You were always telling him not to listen and he was shrugging his arms, but it was hard to believe that he truly didn’t care about such things. They always had an impact on a person, especially so young.

The school in your small Illinois town was not big so your brother Luke was quickly told that you spend most of your lunch breaks sitting by the same table in the corner of the cafeteria with Benny Cross.

“I would like to ask (Y/N) about something,” he said during dinner on that day and everyone looked at you. You froze, already expecting the worst. You loved your brother because he was your family but you didn’t like him – too often he was trying to act like your father.

“What is it?” Your mother asked, worryingly.

“I was told that Miss Cooper separated (Y/N) and that Cross boy a few weeks ago because they were loud in class. Yet, I still see them spending lunch breaks together,” he revealed and your heart skipped a beat.

“You were loud in class?!” Your father snapped and you swallowed a lump in your throat as your hands began to shake.

“I… I am sorry…” You looked down.

“Don’t be angry at her! I am sure it was that boy’s fault!” Your mother defended you.

“Perhaps. Why does she still spend time with him then?” Your father observed you intensely.

“I… I want to help him,” you explained quietly. “I help him to study, that’s it. He is nice to me and it’s not like he’s stupid, he really is not!” You exclaimed after spotting Luke snorting at your words. “But he doesn’t have time to study after school.”

“Well, that is so noble of you, darling,” your mother caressed your arm but you flinched a little at the word that she used – noble. “We should be glad that our daughter is so helpful and compassionate,” she laid her eyes on your father.

“Being around that boy means trouble,” your father shook his head. “I cannot punish you for having a good heart,” he sighed. “Women tend to be too weak. That is why you have fathers and husbands to show you the right path.”

“And brothers,” Luke nodded but your father did not comment on that.

“I don’t want you to start getting worse grades because you put too much effort into helping somebody else,” your father pointed his finger at you.

“But daddy! I learn as well when I help Benny to study!” You protested.

“While you are repeating the basics with him, you could already study more advanced subjects yourself. Aren’t you always saying that you want to go to college one day?” He furrowed his brows and you shut your mouth. The college argument was always making you feel guilty, too. It was almost as bad as the war one. “I am not saving my hard-earned money for you to go to college only to find out you are wasting your time on a deadbeat Cross boy!”

“He is a lost cause, sweetheart, you must realise that,” your mother was much more gentle when she caressed your cheek but the meaning of her words was the same after all. “I know it’s sad but the truth is he is going to end up like his father and we cannot do anything to stop it. It’s a waste of time to try.”

“Enough,” your father raised his hand. “I don’t want to talk about that boy ever again.”

And just like that the rest of the meal went quietly with your mother occasionally trying to cheer your father up by bringing up some random facts from her boring day full of shopping, cooking and cleaning. 

After dinner, you stayed in the kitchen to help her clean the table and wash the dishes while your father and Luke were free to go and spend that time on whatever they wished.

You were drying the plates with a cloth, biting on your lower lip and waiting for the right time to start a private conversation with your mother.

“He’s nice to me, mommy,” you finally whispered.

“Hm?” She turned her head around to meet your gaze.

“Benny Cross. He is nice to me and he makes me laugh,” you tried to explain in the simplest way possible. “He is my friend now. I can’t just… I can’t just stop hanging around with him. He doesn’t have anyone.”

“He surely has some friends,” your mother furrowed her brows.

“Not at school, no. He mentioned some guys from his street but they don’t go to school anymore,” you explained.

“They’re older?”

“Not much. They just… They dropped out or got expelled,” you lowered your voice and your mother sighed, extending her hand to give you another plate to dry. “Mom! I know what it sounds like but I don’t think he’s a lost cause. I think a push into the right direction could save his life,” you were desperate to make her understand. “We cannot claim that we are good people when we turn our backs on those in need.”

You felt bad for referring to Benny as someone in need and you were sure that his pride would be bruised but you also were aware that it was the only argument that could convince your mother – she wanted to be a good person above anything else. She wanted to be known for her kindness and her nice family as if the whole meaning of her life revolved only around how others perceived her. She wanted to always be soft and feminine – just like your father wanted her to be. And she wanted the exact same from you but you had ambitions that both scared and impressed her. Like the fact you wanted to go to college or you had the courage to stand up for yourself and argue with your father sometimes.

“If it doesn’t interfere with your own studying then I don’t see a reason why you can’t help him,” she sighed as she nodded in a whisper. “However, I don’t think your father should know about it. I’ll try to talk to Luke and make him understand so he doesn’t snitch on you again,” she assured you and your eyes brightened.

“Thank you!” You squealed happily and leaned in to kiss her cheek. “Mom?”

“Yes, darling?”

“Can I invite Benny here after school one day? Maybe on Friday? We don’t have many classes so we’d have a few hours before daddy comes back from work and Luke has his baseball practice at that time,” you tried to give her as many reasons as possible for her to agree.

“I don’t know, (Y/N)... I’m not sure if it’s a good idea,” your mother shook her head and went back to washing the dishes. You sighed and didn’t say anything else but you could see that she was intensely thinking about something. “On the other hand…” she started, “...your father is going out with his friends from work for dinner this Friday. He won’t be back until late in the evening.”

“So you agree?” Your eyes widened. “Oh, mom, you would meet him and I’m sure you’re going to see what I see… That he’s a nice boy!”

“Alright… But don’t make me regret that,” she gave you a scolding – but still soft – look.

Benny was trying to play it cool because he always tried to come off as unbothered by anything but you could see that he was nervous. He had one class less than you on that day but he promised to wait for you behind the school building and when you ran up to him with books in your hand, you spotted him throwing a cigarette on the ground before stepping on it with his shoe to put it out.

“Benny!” You gasped at the sight. You had no idea he was smoking. “My mom won’t like it when she smells the cigarette smoke on you!” You pointed out.

“She’ll think it’s my old man’s,” Benny only shrugged his arms and took the books from you to carry them for you. That sweet gesture made you forget in an instant about his awful habit you had just found out about.

You walked down the street to your house and you caught yourself struggling with a very odd mix of feelings – you felt proud walking down the street next to Benny Cross who was holding your books. His jeans were worn out, his blond hair ruffled and his steps heavy – no other boy around here looked or walked like him. And because of that… You felt a little ashamed, too. Just a little. And only because some of your neighbours were looking you up and down after you said good afternoon to them. You just hated the way they were staring.

Lost in such thoughts, you spotted that Benny was looking around uncomfortably. He was watching the houses and the perfectly trimmed lawns, the white picket fences and flowers planted in the gardens.

“Does it look different where you live?” You asked, naively. It was hard to imagine that not every neighbourhood where people lived didn’t look the same.

“You’ve never been there, have you?” Was all Benny asked as he cracked a sad smile with a hint of pity.

“N-no,” you admitted and shook your head, embarrassed of yourself.

“That’s alright, doll. I’m glad you haven’t and I hope you never will,” he nodded firmly.

“It’s here!” Thankfully, you had a reason to change the subject because Benny had nearly walked past your house. You grabbed him by his sleeve and pulled him towards your front door.

You pushed them open and walked inside as he began to fix his hair with his free hand and his face turned a shade paler.

“Mom, we’re home!” You announced and took your shoes off. Benny mirrored you and took his off as well but he seemed to be pretty surprised that it was your custom.

Your mother entered the hallway from the kitchen, wiping her hands in the apron. Her smile was cautious and soft as if she was approaching a wild, stray kitten abandoned by the road.

“Good afternoon, Mrs. (Y/L/N),” Benny straightened his back at the sight of her.

“Good afternoon, Benny. (Y/N)’s been talking a lot about you,” she hesitated but eventually extended her hand towards him and you hissed at her because you didn’t want her to mention such things that you were talking about him and all that. It was embarrassing.

“Mom!” You whined as Benny looked around, trying to find a spot where to put the books he had been carrying for you all the way home. You took them from him with an encouraging smile and he nodded at you before shaking your mom’s hand.

“It’s a pleasure to meet you, ma’am,” Benny said.

“It’s a pleasure to meet you, too, Benny. (Y/N) mentioned to me you are going to study, yes? Go to her room now and I’ll call you for dinner when the time comes,” your mother announced and your heart skipped a beat. You had no idea Benny could actually stay for the meal.

“Um… Benny, go upstairs,” you handed him the books again. “My room is on the left,” you added. “Wait for me there,” you said and he nodded.

You followed your mother to the kitchen.

“What is it?” She asked you. “I thought you’d be happy that I invited him.”

“I am! But what about Luke?” You squinted your eyes. You knew that your brother would not approve of that.

“He informed me this morning that he is taking Patsy on a date after practice. He won’t be home until evening,” your mother informed you.

“Patsy?” You chuckled. She was two years older than you – just like your brother. And she was everybody’s dream, so you were told. Beautiful, from a good family, obedient, with good grades. A perfect woman and a wife material.

Something you were scared you would never be.

“Yes, Patsy. I am so happy for him,” your mother grinned widely and you smiled, too, although you didn’t care about your brother enough to be happy for him. In fact, you gritted your teeth that everything in his life seemed to go so perfectly as always. Your father’s golden boy.

Would your life be similar if you had been born a man, too?

Either way, you hugged your mom and ran upstairs to join Benny inside your room. He was standing in the middle of it and looking around in a way that made your cheeks heat up. It was a typical girly room like millions of others but now you somehow felt embarrassed about it.

“It’s a bit childish,” you admitted.

“No, it’s very pretty,” Benny shrugged his arms and blushed when his eyes met yours. “I think it suits you,” he admitted and remained standing there awkwardly.

“Thank you,” You sat on the chair by the desk where he had put your books already and you pointed at your bed to let him know that he could sit on the edge of it. He did that but very carefully as if he was scared of making your sheets dirty.

You gathered the books and moved up to sit next to him so there would be no more distance between you two. You started with doing your homeworks together and you quickly realised your father might have been right about something – Benny would be a distraction. You couldn’t stop staring at his face. At his plump lips that made you think of nothing but kissing, at his beautiful, long eyelashes that were dark even though his hair was golden. Speaking of his hair – it was so fluffy and had different shades  of blond depending on the layers. You were counting all the moles on his cheeks and getting lost in his ocean blue eyes. Whenever your hands brushed each other while trying to turn the page at the same time, you couldn’t help but notice his big hands with long, thin fingers. Those were very pretty hands even though they were rough from all the physical work he was usually doing after school.

He was helping people for money – mowing the lawns, fixing sinks, carrying heavy things, all kinds of stuff. But what he enjoyed the most was fixing cars and motorbikes. He had revealed that to you recently and you thought it was adorable that he had a passion and it could actually be turned into a solid job later in life.

The longer you were explaining things to him, the faster he was understanding them. You were pretty convinced by now that he was not stupid at all.

“Benny?” You batted your eyelashes and he turned his head around to look deep into your eyes.

“Yeah?”

“Can you promise me something?” You dared to ask.

“What is it, doll?” He smirked. He would often call you a doll and perhaps you should have been offended by it but in fact it was causing you to have butterflies in your stomach.

“Promise me that you’re gonna finish high school, alright?” You furrowed your brows.

Benny was visibly surprised by your words. He didn’t get to answer, though, because the door opened widely without knocking and your mother walked inside. You and Benny moved away from each other slightly.

“The dinner is ready,” she announced with a smile. She seemed to be pretty happy with the sight of the open books and notebooks scattered everywhere. You nodded at her and you stood up to follow her downstairs. Benny walked behind you. “How was the studying?” Your mother asked when you were sitting by the table.

“It is going well, ma’am. Your daughter should become a teacher,” Benny smiled at her.

“She might! (Y/N) wants to go to college, has she told you?” Your mother asked him while putting salad and chicken onto his plate. “Will it be enough for you, Benny? Such a strong boy like you must eat a lot,” she chuckled before turning around to put the food on your plate as well.

“It is enough, ma’am. It looks delicious, thank you. I can’t remember when was the last time I had vegetables for dinner,” Benny chuckled nervously while you and your mother exchanged meaningful looks. You both were sorry for him.

“Well, you can eat as much of this salad as you wish. My husband and son are not dining with us this evening,” your mother explained softly before taking her seat and you all began to eat.

“Thank you,” Benny blushed.

The rest of the meal went pretty calm since Benny was a quiet boy most of the time. In fact, it made you feel special that he liked to make you laugh because he was not very fun with others around. He was an outsider towards most but you probably had made him like you because you had treated him kindly and you had tried to help him from the very beginning. You hadn’t judged him and you hadn’t made it feel like an act of charity.

Despite being of a quiet nature, Benny was answering your mother’s questions politely and, oh dear, she asked a lot. Lots of her questions were about Benny’s family and you just knew that she was itching to ask about how Benny's mother had died but thankfully she didn’t actually ask that.

She was in the middle of telling a funny story when all of you froze at the sound of the front door opening. You and your mother looked at each other, scared, and that was when Luke entered the dining room and winced at the sight of Benny.

You sighed with relief at the sight of him because your father would be a much worse possibility but it still did not mean that it was alright. You were nervous and so was your mother. She decided to play it cool.

“Oh, hi, honey!” She greeted her son. “How was the practice? How was your date with Patsy?” She tried to sound cheerful.

“Both went fine,” Luke answered with a clenched jaw as he looked Benny up and down. “What is (Y/N)’s… friend doing here?” He asked rudely and your mother gave him a scolding look.

“Well, that is not a nice way to greet a guest, is it? (Y/N) invited Benny to help him with homework and I wanted him to stay for the meal,” your mother explained.

Luke approached Benny with an extended hand as you watched the interaction with fear. You knew that for men it was some sort of a game of dominance. Benny hesitated for a very long and tense moment, staring at your brother’s hand with contempt. Finally, he stood up and shook it back. You could see his knuckles turning white from the strength he was using to show off how firm his hold could be.

“Nice to meet you,” Luke gave him a fake smile.

“Nice to meet you, too,” Benny nodded and sat back on his chair. “You been on a date with Patsy Carter?” He asked.

“Yes. Do you know her?” If Luke’s eyes could kill, Benny would be dead now.

“Nah, never spoke to ‘er but you know, it’s hard not to know who she is,” Benny winked at him playfully as you chewed on the inside of your cheek. You couldn’t understand why Benny wanted to provoke your brother so much. The situation was bad enough already.

“Are you insinuating something, Cross?” Luke’s fists clenched.

“Lucas!” Your mother tried to calm him down.

“Just sayin’ she’s a nice piece,” Benny commented and you looked away, trying to hide your anger.

You couldn’t believe that Benny said such a disrespectful thing about another girl – a girl your brother dated – in front of your own mother. It made you feel like a fool to ever defend him in front of your family. Perhaps they had been right – he was from the bad side of town and his ways were too different to try to change them.

“Don’t test me, kid,” Luke drawled out. Thankfully, that was all he said before walking out of the room. Your mother looked at you, panicked, before standing up and following her son to talk to him.

“Why have you done that?” You asked, sniffling your tears back when you eventually turned your head around to meet Benny’s gaze. He seemed to be confused why you reacted this way. “You have no idea for how long I have been defending you and…”

“Oh, thank you, doll,” he interrupted you and his voice was full of irony. “The tramp you defended turns out to be a bum? How shocking,” he commented and you spotted that awful sparkle in his eye that would often show up whenever he spoke of his father. But why was his anger aimed at you now?

“I didn’t mean to offend you…” your voice began to shake. “I just thought we were friends. You were nice to me.”

Benny sighed. He tilted his head as he examined your face and you just knew that he was thinking of you as naive.

“‘m sorry,” Benny mumbled out. “Didn’t want to make you sad. I just don’t like bein’ treated like your big brother treated me,” he explained.

“I know,” you calmed down immediately. “I’m sorry about him, too,” you assured him and glanced at the clock on the wall. “My daddy’s going to be home soon. I think it’s time for you to go now,” you told him and you were scared he would get angry again at that but he understood. Benny nodded and left the table. You followed him to walk him out.

“Tell your ma that the food was great, ‘kay? And apologise to her from me,” he asked while putting his shoes back on.

“Yeah, sure, Benny,” you nodded and hugged your own self. You didn’t want to say goodbye yet. “See you tomorrow at school.”

“See you,” Benny winked at you and squeezed your arm. “You’re a nice girl, doll. Thanks for everythin’,” he added before going out and those few words were enough to make your heart swell in your chest.

You watched him walk away with his hands inside the pockets of his jeans. You were sure he would go back to his place on foot while whistling some song he had heard on the radio earlier. That was his way.

When you went back to the dining room, your mother was already cleaning the plates.

“Benny’s just left. He wanted me to tell you that the food was great and he wanted to apologise for–” you started.

“Save it,” she interrupted you and looked up to meet your gaze. She was angry and you were taken aback by that. “It was the last time this boy was here, do you hear me?” She asked, harshly, but she gave you no time to answer. “I managed to beg Lucas to keep it a secret but he is not happy about it and I can’t blame him.”

“But mom, I am sure you could see that Benny is a nice boy. He only was rude when Lucas acted like a–”

“I said, save it,” your mother snapped and you shut your mouth immediately. “Help me with the dishes now, will you? Let’s not talk about it anymore.”

MASTERLIST

[storiesfromafan]

MIA - Buck x Reader

A/N: so I am back with part 2 to Rumours. Not sure how I feel about this...but it will have to do haha. I will do a part 3, and that will be it.

Forgive me if any information is wrong, as I had to change a few things around to suit the story. As well as any spelling and grammer mistakes 😅

Tag list: @strayrockette (you asked for angsty, hope I met the requirement...maybe lol)

October 8th 1943 was a day you wouldn't forget. Starting with waking to this foreboding feeling gnawing at the back of your mind. And with every minute of the passing morning your stomach sinking further and further. Something was to happen that day, which usually meant death, injury and despair with a mix of grief.

Earlier that morning the 100th had flown out on a raid. It was like they normally would, no one would have guessed the out come of their return. You had spent the morning doing inventory and getting everything ready for the 100th return. If this raid was like any other, there would be some injured men coming into your medical. The Doctor's were waiting, ready for whatever was to come. While the other nurses prepared for what they would see.

When the transport vehicles rolled out, maned by men who were use to everything traumatising and disturbing. You might see the men when they are wheeled in, but to see them as they are pulled from their plane, you don't think you could stomach that. You had over heard a few men telling other female nurses the gruesome details, every stomach churning missing limb and exposed insides. And you can't forget the blood.

Standing with the other nurses and Doctors, with baited breath, you all waited. Ready for action, to help and save lives. You heard the vehicles come flying down the dirt road, the muffled noise of men talking before the cries of those injured. When the doors burst open and the first few men were brought it, you all sprung into action.

You didn't think, you just acted. Moving to help a man who was covered in blood, you looked him over assessing his wounds. He had a few large, deep cuts but none were in any areas of major arteries. But he did had a broken leg and dislocated arm. The sounds he made was hard to listen too, it pulled at your heartstrings. But you kept on moving, doing your job.

When you were done with him you moved on to the next, and then the next, till all that had came in were seen too. Hours went by, it was late morning when you had started, and it was now evening when you finally stopped. Done with your work. Clothing covered in blood, body drained and exhausted. But you felt satisfied, knowing all men were alive. Yet the night would only tell how the worst would fare.

Stepping out of the medical building, the evening breeze hitting your face. Closing your eyes, you inhaled the fresh air into your lungs, a stark contrast to that of the sterile space you had been in. Rolling your shoulders back, you stretched your arms and hands, enjoying how your body creaked and cracked. Your ears took in the faint sounds of the base. Enjoying the sounds around you, unlike what you had listened to, which had been filled with cries, moans, groans and machines for hours.

If only you had been warned not to open your eyes, you could have lived in ignorant bliss. For as soon as you opened them you were greeted to the sight of one Major Egan. The usual boyish charm and cheeky nature gone, replaced with sadness and anguish. That foreboding and sinking pit in your stomach surfacing after being pushed away while you worked. Today was a day you had dreaded. A day that you prayed to never meet.

“It's B-Buck...” Bucky managed to get out, voice hollow and strained. “H-his plane...it-it went down...”

Hearing those words laced in pain, as Bucky did his best to keep himself together. It was like standing there, telling you, made it finally sink in, how real the situation was. The chances were Buck had gone down with his plane, possibly dead. Or he managed to evacuate and was now in enemy territory, which meant death or becoming a prisoner. No matter what way you thought about it, there was a chance of Buck not returning.

You felt the air in your lungs hinder. Breathing in all aspects getting harder. Your chest tightening with the dread you were feeling. You could feel tears rising in your eyes. Bucky looked up from staring at the ground, and upon seeing your reaction to the news, swiftly moved to grab your arm. He led you to a bench near by before helping you sit, then taking the spot next to you.

Everything seemed to fade away, leaving you with an ache in your chest. You couldn't form any words, yet your mind was running wild with them. So many questions that you wanted to ask. Bucky watched you as you stared off into the distance. He understood what you were going through, processing the terrible news. He had been in the same position as you hours before.

Bucky cleared his throat, trying to dislodge the lump that seemed to be sitting there. “I...I thought you should hear the news from me...” his voice was low, trying to be as calm as he could.

You nodded, still having trouble to speak. But the silence between you too wasn't uncomfortable, for you both understood the other right now. Maybe you both needed the other, to work through this moment. A moment that could have come at any time. Bucky knew that, and you both knew Buck knew it. It was part of their job, knowing at any minute they are up in the air, and then the next they would be coming down. With a slim chance of survival in this war.

With time Bucky spoke to you, telling you to clean up and take it easy. Mentioning how he would be having a drink by the planes, if you wanted to join him. Still you hadn’t spoken, but nodded your heard slowly. With that, you shakily got up from your seat and headed back to your room. It was when you were behind a closed door, back resting against the wood, and sliding down to sit on the floor. That was when you finally let your tears free. You broke down, heartbroken and longing to see Buck, even for just one more fleeting moment.

True to his word, you found Bucky that night on the wing of a plane. You had been in your room for ages trying to stop your tears, and only finally was able to get it under control. Not wanting to be alone, you had decided to seek out Bucky. You made your way up to the base of the plane, looking up at the intoxicated man who sat with his feet hanging over the edge of the wing.

“B-Bucky...” you spoke, voice horse and not sounding like yourself. A result from your crying. “Are you alright up there?”

He swayed a little, his head turning down to look to you. “F-fine...I guess" he sputtered.

“Maybe you should come down...” you said concerned for his well being.

Bucky just nodded his head before slowly and a little unsteadily, getting down. With his feet on the ground, you moved to sit you both in front of the plane. The ground was hard, and a little cool, but you both would be fine. Silence filled the space around you, but both happy to take comfort in each other.

With time Bucky began to speak, reminiscing on moments with Buck. He told you how they met and became friends, what they had both gone through up in the air. How he was like a brother to him. And how they both liked being around you, recalling when they first met you. And what he thought about you, and Buck's reaction to you.

“We both liked having you around, you know?” Bucky questioned. “It was nice to have a dance partner that could take a joke" he laughed.

You smiled softly, for the first time feeling happy hearing his words.

“Buck...Buck liked having someone to talk to that was level headed, like him. He told me how close you both were, and I was happy he had you. And when those rumours made the rounds, he was Hell bent on putting an end to them" he chuckled. “Had me wondering...”

You looked at Bucky in confusion. “Wondering what...?”

“You know" he said tilting his head, when you continued to look at him the way you were he went on. “You know...if you and Buck were – well you know”.

You sat up straight at his insinuation. Bucky thought you and Buck were seeing each other privately, and engaging in inappropriate behaviour. “N-no, not at all" you replied quickly.

“But you do have feelings for him, right?” Bucky asked, looking you in the eye. “He came back after speaking to you, he didn't say it but I could tell something went down between you both, right?”

You averted your eyes from his. Deciding there was no reason to hide it, you nodded your head. Out of all the people on the base, Bucky and Buck were to two you could trust. And it looked liked you only have Bucky left.

“I knew it...I think he cared for you. But with Marge, he was devoted to her...” Bucky thought out loud. “Watching you both, I could see something there...but you're both so good, to do anything to hurt someone...”

You didn't understand what the Major was getting at. Deciding it was time for him to get to bed, you voiced it. “Alright Bucky, I think its time you get some rest”.

You moved to help him up, but Bucky protested, almost having a child like fit. But with a little bit of talking to him, you were able to talk him into it. With his arm over your shoulders, you helped get Bucky back to his room, before leaving him at his door. Reluctantly you headed back to you room. Once in bed you had wanted to sleep, but it was something that you got next to none off. How your sleeping pattern would be from here on out.

The course of the next few weeks seemed to be following a steady path. But, once more, you are struck with bad news. First Buck, now Bucky. His plane going down and with that, the last of your hope for everyone else. You cried and thought of the Major, but no where near as it had been for Buck.

Lost to war were two strong men. Who didn't deserve what they got. No more mischievous and anger inducing moments with Bucky, whom you would gladly have one more dance with, only to have him make you laugh. No more electrifying discussions with Buck, were you would enjoy looking into his stormy blue eyes, that caused butterflies to swarm your stomach. Now it was an empty pit, with a chest to match.

A/N: one of my favourite moments was Buck dancing with Meatball 😍

[raysaitoo]

Interruption

--Denki as your annoying bf ⚡

"Aw come on please?" There he begs beside you hugging you by the waist while you nonchalantly ignore his request of touching you. "You're not being fair Y/N!". Annoyed by his rambling again you can't ignore him any longer. "How am I not being fair?" You ask him with a huff. "I charged your phone earlier! And you're not even gonna thank me!?" Denki just pinches your hip out of frustration. "Well what do you want?" ..Something you should've never asked.

You turn over to see his annoyingly dumb face that he does whenever he tries something stupid again."Tits." Denki asks without shame, hoping you'll agree to him after hours of begging and annoying you. "Whatever.." Although you're pissed off at him right now you can't be too harsh on Denki again..or else he'll give you the silent treatment even if he sucks at ignoring you.

(Hours later.)

Your thighs are wrapped around his waist while he gropes your breasts making you whine from time to time. "How can you ignore me for this long?? What did I do Y/N?"

Well you are ignoring him because HES THE REASON YOUR CHARGER EXPLODED YESTERDAY.

"Shut up Kami, You know what you did." You groan out in annoyance. He continues to have that dumb expression on his face while he sucks on one of your nipple. Your chest already wet from his saliva.

(KNOCK KNOCK)

You stopped scrolling on tiktok and wondered who it was. It's 9 PM on a saturday.. who's knocking at this hour?

"Kaminari- Can you charge my phone. You know cause someone threw my charger down the public pool last week. Something about not letting me use my phone for perverted stuff"

That damn lisp..you know that voice. It's Mineta's voice. You don't really care about it but HE JUST BARGES IN LIKE THAT.

"Oh shit I forgot to lock the door-" Kaminari gasps out and had no time to cover you nor wipe his mouth from his dripping saliva.

"Kaminari?-" His whole body freezes when he sees you two in a very explicit position right now. Seeing this made his nose drip blood like always."Hehh b-boobs" He faints and lies on the floor.. "What the fuck." You mumble out and quickly cover yourself up, pinching Denki's ear in the process. "You made another reason for me to get mad at you again." Annoyingly standing up and walking towards the door. "I'm not sleeping in your dorm today." You walk over the small perverted boy's body and walk out leaving Denki all alone and waiting for Mineta to wake up just so he can make an excuse to let him forget what happened. "Aw Babe!!" He made that dumb expression again when calling out to you who was already walking down the hallway to the girls dormitories.

(Sunday morning)

"I saw b-boobs!"He exclaims with joy.

"Shut up, Pervert. Thanks to you my girlfriend won't talk to me!"

(The end)

Btw this is my first time writing so tell me anything I need to improve on💥 LUV YA'LL

IS IT NORMAL TO CRINGE AT WHAT YOU WROTE? LOL