#if i could only just reach through him and extend that to myself i think id be much better off

[gamingdotcom]

hmmm i think. i think i need to do away with the idea that i love astarion in a way thats "wrong". i love him in the way that i know how to love him

[atlabeth]

family line

pt 2

pairing: spencer reid x gideon!reader

a/n: pardon the end where i just go into endless conversation for no reason but i cannot control myself. anyways thank you sosososo much for all the love on the last part and gideon!reader as a whole it makes me so happy!! enjoy some dad-daughter-spence car convos(arguing) and some elle time

wc: 3.8k

warning(s): the usual! r and gideon argue, gideon is not a good dad(but theres some reconciliation), angst, hurt/comfort, but some fluff between r and gideon & spence. more of a set-up chapter

The drive over to the safe house is a long one, and unfortunately, not a quiet one. 

Spencer takes the back seat, leaving shotgun for you with your dad. He spends the entirety of the drive briefing you on what living in a safe house will entail, all the things you can and can’t do. 

You can’t use your phone because it could be tracked. You can’t leave the place without Spencer because you are, in fact, being stalked. You’re not to reveal anything about your location to anyone—you’re basically shut off from the world until the unsub is behind bars. 

And once he’s done briefing you, he basically starts interrogating you. 

“Have you been contacted like this before in any way?” 

You huff a laugh. “What, with creepy pictures of myself? No.” 

“Anything unsettling,” he clarifies. “A text message, a call, an email— anything that rubbed you the wrong way that you might’ve just passed off as a joke or spam.” 

“No,” you repeat. 

“You’re sure?” 

“How many times do I have to say no?” You pull your phone out of your pocket and stare at your dad. “Go through it if you want. You won’t find anything.” 

He pauses, then he nods. “Reid.” 

You shake your head with a slight laugh, then turn it over as Spencer extends a hand. He flips it open and starts to go through it, and you just cross your arms and stare out the windshield. 

“We should really hand this over to Garcia,” he says. “She’ll be able to do a lot more than I can. I don’t really—”

“Like technology, I know,” your dad finished. “We will. Just trying to get all the leads we can upfront.” 

You sigh, but you keep quiet. You guess you can’t really consider it an invasion of privacy when there’s a stalker after you. 

“We typically talk to stalking victims for a while to figure out their lifestyle and possible suspects, as well as the type of stalker we’re dealing with,” Spencer says. “We don’t exactly have the time for that here.” 

“This unsub has already been watching you for a month, maybe more,” your dad says. “He’s made his first move by reaching out to me—that means he wants us to know about him, wants you to know about him.” He glances over at you. “He wants to scare you. You’re not going to give him that satisfaction.” 

“You’re jetting me off to a safehouse before you’ve even gotten the chance to look into any leads,” you say. “It looks like we’re pretty scared, Dad.” 

“It’s preparation,” he says. “The unsub has made his first move—I’m not going to wait around for him to make another and compromise your safety.” 

“This could also be a lot more dangerous than we think,” Spencer says. You still hear him clicking through your messages, and you’re beginning to regret your decision to turn it over to him. “Our unsub could be someone after Gideon using you as collateral.” 

Your heart stops for a split second and your attention snaps to your father. “What?”

“…It is a likely option,” he says. “Very few people know you as my daughter. Someone who wants to hurt me could try to use you to do it.”

“So I was right,” you say. “This is only happening because I’m your daughter.”

“Do you want me to say yes?”

“Yes!” you exclaim. “Yes— I want you to admit that I’ve missed out on all the positives of you being my dad and gotten stuck with all the negatives!”

“This is not the time,” he says. 

“How is it not the time?” you ask with a laugh. “You’ve said it yourself several times— my life is in danger. There’s someone out there that might kill me to get back at you. What is a better time than this to talk about how shitty of a dad you’ve been?”

“A better time would be when we aren’t this high strung,” he says evenly. “Neither of us are thinking as properly as we should be. We don’t want to say anything we’ll regret.”

“Oh, I don’t think I’ll regret any of this,” you say. “After all, I could be dead soon, right? I should get all those regrets out of the way.”

“Please stop arguing,” Spencer interrupts hastily. “This— this is very uncomfortable.”

You scoff. The flames burn just as bright, but for some reason, you decide to hold them back a bit. 

“I’m sure it’s real hard for you, boy genius.”

The silence lingers. You can tell he wants to say more, but he doesn’t. Your dad, to his credit, doesn’t stoke the fire.

It looks like you’re all capable of restraint today. 

“I— I went through all her messages,” Spencer continues. It irks you that he talks like you’re not here. “There’s nothing suspicious there, at least.”

“Good,” your dad says. “I’ll hand it over to Garcia after I drop you both off.”

“We’re not gonna have a car?” you ask.

“You’ll have this one,” he says. “That’s why Agent Greenaway is following us.”

“Elle’s coming?” Spencer asks, and you see him perk up. You belatedly wonder what that deal is. 

“Just so she can drive me back to the office,” your dad says. “She offered.”

“What’s everyone else doing?” 

“Garcia is digging through some of your personal records for the team,” he says, glancing at you. “JJ is in contact with the local police stations so they’re ready once we have a profile. Morgan and Hotch should be looking through every case I’ve closed to get a running list of suspects.”

“Great,” you say as you lean back in your seat. “Nothing like getting my whole life aired out and put under a microscope.”

“It already is,” Spencer says. “You’ve got a stalker.”

“Thanks, Spencer,” you mutter. “I forgot.” 

-

The rest of the drive goes by with ease—at least, relative to how difficult you’ve made everything else. 

You’re already sick of Spencer Reid by the time you get out of the car. You don’t know how you’re going to survive such close quarters under these kinds of circumstances. 

Another car parks next to you as the three of you get out, and your eyes are drawn to the woman that steps out. 

“Easy drive?” your dad asks. 

“I was right behind you,” Agent Greenaway says. “You drive like an old man.” 

Your dad just barely smiles. “Stay with her, Elle. Reid and I are going to check the perimeter.” 

“You can’t be serious,” you cut in. 

“I already told you I’m not taking chances with this,” he says, and he takes his gun out. “This won’t take long.” 

Spencer takes his out as well—he carries it with both hands, like it’s actually weighing him down, and it’s a bit ridiculous—and they split to cover both sides of the house and the surrounding area. You sigh and shake your head as you cross your arms. 

“He’s certainly spirited,” Agent Greenaway says. 

You huff a laugh. “That’s one way to put it.” 

“I’m Elle, by the way,” she says. “I know we haven’t been formally introduced.” 

You nod your acknowledgment and say your name. “Nice to meet you.” 

She turns to fully face you. “Do you mind if I say a few things?” 

“If it’s about my dad—”

“It’s not,” she interrupts with a wry smile, “I promise.” 

You shrug. “Then sure.” 

“First, I just want to ask if you’re doing alright,” she says. “You’ve gotten a lot dropped on you all at once.”

“I’m as good as I can be,” you say. 

Elle nods, and her eyes soften. “I’m not gonna tell you to take it easy on Gideon. He’s an incredible agent, but that makes it hard to be a good dad.”

You don’t say anything, and she continues. 

“My dad was on the force too. I resented him for a lot of my childhood because he was gone so often, but… then he was killed in the line of duty.”

You frown. “I’m so sorry for your loss.”

Elle nods in thanks. “I’m not trying to get sympathy. I’m just saying I know what it’s like.”

You shift your balance and sigh, glancing away momentarily. “Everyone here sees him as a hero, and— and he is. He started this whole thing and you all save lives every day, but it feels like he’s missed my entire life because of it.” You huff a bitter laugh. “I think you all know him better than I do.”

“I think you’re probably right,” she admits. “You deserve to be angry. And honestly, I think you deserve to hate him some for it.” 

You huff a slight laugh. “You’re the one person who hasn’t tried to make me feel bad for it.”

She shrugs. “You’re in an awful situation and it might be because of him. You don’t have to have endless grace.”

“Any chance I can get you to stay in here with me instead of Spencer?” you ask.

She smiles. “I don’t think Gideon wants to stick the two of us in a house together. But I am gonna make sure we catch this guy.”

“These kinds of assholes go after vulnerable women because it gives them the attention they crave,” she continues. “They worm themselves into their lives and disrupt it all and it makes them feel powerful—you have to play to their whims.”

“Sounds like you have a lot of experience with this,” you murmur.

“I have a lot of experience putting away sick men,” Elle says. 

“Do you have any advice, then?” you ask weakly. 

“I’ve only been around you for a few hours, but I already know you’re better and stronger than whatever bastard is after you,” she says. “He wants to control your life. Don’t let him.” 

“Thank you,” you say quietly. “I’m… really glad you’re on my side.”

She smiles again. “Just doing my job.”

Your eyes latch onto your dad as he and Spencer come back around the front, and they both tuck their guns back into their holsters. 

“It’s all clear,” your dad says. 

“And I’m not dead,” you say. “Looks like we’re all doing good.”

He chooses to ignore you, instead looking at Elle. “Did you go over anything with her?” he asks.

She shakes her head. “Just gave some advice.”

“Great,” Spencer says. “Just what I need.”

“Oh, get over yourself, Reid,” Elle says. “You’ll be fine.” 

You don’t miss the look he gives her, and your dad clears his throat. “Can you take her inside and check everything? Reid and I need to talk.” 

He frowns. “We do?” 

“Sure,” she nods. 

You stare at your dad this time, and he doesn’t entertain your annoyance with some of his own. “We’ll be in soon.” 

“Sure,” you repeat. 

You follow Elle in—you don’t feel like getting a lecture on safety just yet—and when you pass a glance over your shoulder, you meet Spencer’s eyes. He was watching you. 

His eyes dart away just as quickly, and you huff the slightest laugh. You don’t know if he’s scared of you or just tired of you already, but whichever one, you don’t really care. If you have to be stuck in this house with him, he has to be stuck in there with you too.

Elle shows you around the place, and it’s nothing special—a one story house with two bedrooms and a noticeable lack of windows, furnished plainly with a couch and a few chairs, a small kitchen table, a television. You’re honestly surprised at how nice it all is. 

But as she takes you on the impromptu tour, you can’t stop thinking about her words. You can’t stop thinking about all of it, honestly. 

A month ago, you were driving home in silence after your dad forgot about the plans you made. A week ago, you were out for drinks with friends. 

Today, you’re hunkering down in a safe house because there’s a stalker after you, and you have to do it with your dad’s stand-in kid. 

That’s what gets you, you think. That you know more about Spencer Reid than anyone at his job knows about you—that your dad ignores you in favor of his work, and instead of trying to fit you into his life, he finds an FBI replacement.

Your jaw clenches. It takes a few seconds for you to realize you’ve completely tuned out Elle, only really coming out of it when she says your name.

“Sorry,” you say. “I was distracted.” 

“I don’t blame you,” she says wryly. 

You’re about to respond when Spencer walks in with your dad. His face is slightly flushed and, as opposed to all the other times, he won’t make eye contact with you. You can only imagine what your dad decided to talk to him about. 

“You showed her around?” your dad asks. 

Elle nods. “The basics. She and Reid can figure out the rest.” 

“Thank you,” he says. He looks at Spencer, who has his hands stuffed in his pockets and is very intently focused on the wall behind you. “Help Elle get the rest of the things out of her car.”

He frowns. “Elle doesn’t need my help.”

“Come on, Reid,” she says as she starts to walk. 

He blinks and nods. “Oh. Uh— yeah.” 

You feel his eyes on you as he goes, but you don’t meet them. You just stare at your father.

“Is it my turn for a lecture?”

His eyes soften as he says your name. “This isn’t how I want things to be between us.”

“Yeah, well,” you shrug, “it takes a decade or two of neglect to get here.”

“You’re right,” he says. “You wouldn’t be in this situation if it wasn’t for me. But I’m going to get you out of it.”

“I hope so,” you say. “Because I don’t really know how Doctor Reid is going to help.”

“Don’t take it out on Reid,” your dad says. “Hate me all you want, but leave him out of it.”

“You’re the one that pulled him into it,” you retort. “He’s more your kid than I am.”

“And I regret it,” he says. Your eyes widen a bit, and it actually gets you to shut up. “I regret that it took something like this for me to be a part of your life again. But I don’t want our last interaction before you’re sequestered for the indefinite future to be a fight.”

“That’s all I’m good at when it comes to you,” you mumble. The wind has been taken out of your sails considerably. 

“And I want to change that,” he says. “But first, we have to get through this. And we’re going to get through it together, sweetheart.” 

The term of affection feels strange coming from him. Ever since your teenage years, he’s felt less like your dad and more like some estranged cousin. You hate it. You hate how unfamiliar everything feels with him. Jason Gideon has been a profiler longer than he’s been a dad and it shows in your every interaction with him. 

But still, your heart aches. You bite the inside of your cheek.

“You promise?” you ask. You feel like a kid again. 

“I promise,” he says. 

Then your dad pulls you into a hug, and for a moment, you freeze. You can’t remember the last time he hugged you. 

Despite the anger inside of you, the bitterness built in your bones, you can’t help it—you hug him back. You practically melt into his arms as you squeeze your eyes shut, trying to stop the sudden threat of tears. 

Because deep down beneath it all, you’re scared. You’re fucking terrified, actually, and right now you’re just a girl who wants comfort from her dad. 

“I love you,” he says. 

“…I love you too,” you mumble.

Neither of you pull away for a good thirty seconds. When you do, you turn around to wipe your eyes, not wanting him to see. You hear the door open and start, but it’s just Spencer and Elle with some bags and boxes. 

“Elle’s got some groceries,” your dad says, clearing his throat. “We’ll deliver more if necessary, but you’ve got the basics for a couple weeks, at least.” 

“And a whole lot of books and movies,” Spencer says, hefting the box in his hands. “Did you know that there have been approximately 122 million unique titles published since the invention of Gutenberg’s printing press in 1440?” 

“That’s less specific than usual,” Elle says. “You sure you’re feeling okay?” 

He frowns. “I couldn’t find statistics on the exact number.” 

“Why were you even looking at those statistics?” 

“I get bored sometimes.” 

Elle just laughs as they continue into the living room. You feel your dad’s eyes on you, and you sigh. 

“I’ll take it easy on him,” you say. “Mostly. Maybe.” 

And he actually smiles. “Thank you.” 

“Yeah, yeah,” you say offhandedly, but you find the slightest smile creeping on your lips as well. You kind of hate it. 

Everything else goes by relatively quickly now that you’re not arguing every single thing—you have to fight your instincts not to, but you manage—and eventually, after another lingering hug and some promises to be safe (and one from Spencer to your dad to keep you safe)—you’re alone in the house with him. 

“So,” you say as you settle on the couch, “this is what the indefinite future is going to be like.” 

“If it makes you feel better, last time we dealt with a stalker we caught them in a few days,” Spencer says. “She watched her for a good while, though.” 

“It doesn’t make me feel better,” you say. “Thanks.” 

“...Sorry.” 

You shrug your indifference and Spencer walks past you, focusing in on some of the paintings hanging on the wall. You’re sure he knows the artist, title, and meaning behind every single one, so you speak up before he can start.  

“What did you and Elle talk about?” 

“How this place doesn’t have a pool,” he says.  

You frown. “What?” 

“Nothing,” he says quickly. “What’d you and Gideon talk about?”

“We fought then made up,” you say. “It was… weird.” 

Spencer looks at you. “How?” 

You shrug again as you cross your arms. “You’ve seen how we are. We don’t exactly get along.” 

“Has he really been that bad of a dad?”

“It’s none of your business,” you say. “But… yes. He’s barely been a dad at all.” 

Spencer shakes his head. “I don’t get that. He’s so different in the field.” 

“That’s why he’s barely been a dad—because he’s so busy here.” You tilt your head. “Don’t you have some facts or whatever on the percentage of fathers that are workaholics?” 

“Well, 89% of dads work full time,” Spencer says. “And fathers typically work around 47 hours a week. But I don’t have anything on workaholics specifically.” 

“Great.” You stand up and walk over to the box of DVDs Spencer set down on the table, and you start rifling through them. “So, what’d my dad tell you about me?” 

Spencer blinks. “What do you mean?” 

“When I came in here with Elle and he kept you out there,” you say. “Did he give you the run-down? Warn you on how difficult I am to be around? Tell you that I hate you?” 

His Adam’s apple bobs. “Uh— no. He just… talked to me. Gave the rundown on everything.”

You hum. “You can tell the truth.” 

“I— I am,” he says. He’s clearly not. “He didn’t say anything bad about you. Promise.” 

“Whatever you say.” You land on a DVD and glance over at him. “How do you feel about Groundhog Day?” 

He shakes his head. “I don’t like Bill Murray.” 

You frown. “That’s ridiculous. How can you not like Ghostbusters?” 

“I love Ghostbusters.” 

“How can you like Ghostbusters but not Bill Murray?” 

“Because I like the concept more than I like him,” he says. “I love Halloween.” 

You shake your head and move on. “Who put these together?”

“I don’t know. Maybe Gideon? Or maybe some random BAU office worker.” 

“It’s an interesting compilation.” You look up at him again. “How about Dirty Dancing?” 

“No.” 

“No reasoning?”

“I don’t feel like dealing with a musical right now,” he says. 

“So you choose to deprive me of Patrick Swayze,” you tut. You grab one movie out of the back and hold it up. “If I put on Goodfellas, will you interrupt every five seconds with facts?”

“...I can push it back to every thirty seconds,” he says. 

“Five minutes,” you say. 

“One minute.” 

“Two.” 

“One forty-five?” 

“Two—take it or leave it.” 

“Technically I have all the power here,” Spencer says. “I can talk nonstop about anything. Putting down a movie narrows that down.” 

“...One fifty.” 

He nods, and you huff a disbelieving laugh as you put the DVD in the player. 

“Has anyone ever told you that you’re ridiculous?” 

“A lot,” he says as he sits down on the couch. “I usually get insufferable or weird or annoying, though. So ridiculous isn’t too bad.” 

“Well, you’re certainly something.” 

“That’s also not too bad,” he says. “I could even take it as a compliment.”

You sigh and pick up the remote before you sit back down. You look up at the clock on the wall and bite back a curse. 

“It’s only been ten minutes,” you mutter. 

“Ten minutes and thirty-four seconds, actually,” Spencer says. “Did you know that Scorsese actually cast real mobsters as extras? The cast members were told ahead of time so they could show the necessary respect to them while they were on set. There’s a whole mafia hierarchy, and only full-blooded Italians—”

“I haven’t even gotten to the start screen,” you interrupt in disbelief. 

Spencer shrugs. “You said every minute and fifty seconds. Not how long I could go on for.” 

You let out another sigh as he continues on. You bet Spencer could probably recite the whole movie from memory if you asked, but you honestly don’t know if you could take that. 

There’s one plus, at least. When you’ve got a human encyclopedia next to you that can spout off whatever information he wants any time he wants, you think you’re gonna have a hard time thinking too much about your stalker. 

You look over at Spencer when you finally make it to the opening scene, still talking but now about the different crime families in the United States. His eyebrows are surprisingly animated when he talks, going up and down depending on his inflection, and you find yourself thinking that it’s charming. 

It’s annoying how pretty he is, and it’s annoying how annoying he is. 

You look away. 

This is going to be a very long lockdown.

[redeemingvillains]

closed & locked - lorenzo berkshire

summary: fact: you are overwhelming smitten with lorenzo berkshire. fact: you think he's smitten with you too. but when you and pansy hear something you shouldn't have, it has you questioning everything you thought you knew about hogwarts' biggest flirt.

words: 3.5k

warnings: v suggestive, probably a bit 18+

author's note: i apparently write for enzo now? who knew. we only have @pizzaapeteer & @prythiansprincess to blame as they have been fueling my obsession completely. i loved this! it was so fun to write! mwahhh!

soundtrack: where i wanna be - arizona

_______when she speaks, it's a dangerous fantasy ________that sets me free, to where i wanna be

Your fingers curled into Pansy's as she tugged you along beside her in the dark corridors of the common room until you reached an alcove along a small landing that provided you both with a glimpse of the boys below. Your heart was thrumming in your chest as you tried to quiet your breathing and she waved the extendible ear excitedly in front of you; you shook your head thinking, again, how crazy this was.

"Don't you want to know what they talk about?" she'd asked you twenty minutes ago as she attempted to pry you away from studying for your potions exam in the library.

"Not particularly, no" you argued as you laughed.

"Really?" she drawled as she tilted her head and put her hand on her hip. "Not even what a certain boy has to say about when he might finally sack up and make things official with you?"

Your cheeks flushed a deep crimson.

"That's-that's not what they sit around and talk about, surely..."

"Well, we can't know for certain unless we try, can we?" she pushed.

She knows me too well you thought now as you watched her lower the extendible ear down just out of sight of the group below. Whether she was excited for juicy gossip or was simply sick of listening to you go on and on about him, Pansy knew that hinting at anything to do with Lorenzo Berkshire was the secret to getting you to do pretty much anything, because gods you couldn't get enough of him.

Even now, you were teetering on your tiptoes trying to catch a glimpse of his lithe figure, the way you knew he'd be sprawled with his legs spread wide on the couch with his cocky smile and his long fingers that he liked to rustle through his thick hair... you felt noticeably hotter under his oversized sweatshirt as you grasped it away from your heated skin. Gods I need to get a hold of myself.

He was the flirt of your year, so you hadn't taken his attention seriously at first, but then banter became flirting became innuendos became his warm palm pressed against yours as he pulled you into him at a Slytherin house party, his plush lips finding yours as his hand cupped your face and you swore you felt fireworks in your rib cage.

You'd been kissed plenty of times before, but after that first kiss with Lorenzo, you weren't actually sure anymore.

He kissed you in a way that no one else ever had; he kissed with his entire body, his hands grasping your face or tangling his fingers in your hair, his lips soft and demanding, his tongue doing ungodly things to yours that had you grabbing for him as he undid you one seam at a time, his hips pressing into yours in a way that you felt in every fiber of your being, and when he let out a low groan against your mouth? You were fairly certain you departed from earth completely before floating back down in a haze.

Simply put, you were instantly and irrevocably addicted to him.

And the better part of you believed he felt the same way.

At first everything between you was purely physical, how often and how fast you could tear each other's clothes off, but then he'd started to slow down, to take his time with you, to pull back and lock his eyes with yours in way that felt incredibly intimate; he'd kiss you lavishly, fully, just exactly the way you loved and he'd hold you long afterward, adamant every time that you stay the night, pulling you into his arms so your head rested on his bare chest where you could hear his heartbeat and the rumble of his voice.

And you'd talk for hours, sometimes even until the grey of dawn snuck beneath the curtain of his window; he'd trail his fingers down your bare back or play with your fingers, tangling them with his own until he rested them over his heart.

He told you what scared him, what excited him, he talked about his future and, more often than not, your place in it. Surely, you thought, as you frequently did, it'll only be a matter of time until he makes things official.

But the topic always seemed to evade your conversations, and a growing part of you consistently wondered why, your insecurities popping up every time you heard another girl talk about him or another rumor circulated about who he might have hooked up with despite his adamant denial...

Pansy motioned you closer to her and the ear in her hand and you could just make out the recognizable timbres of your friends voices through the tinny line.

You both leaned in eagerly for several minutes, until you came to the realization that the boys were just as talkative and exciting together as they were with you... which was not. at. all.

After an enthralling forty-minute discussion about quidditch you were both sprawled on the floor, struggling to keep your eyes open.

"Paaannnns" you whined in a whisper.

"You don't even have to say it. Terrible idea" she acknowledged. "Why are they soooo boring?"

You were about to answer her when you recognized the sound of your name and sat up quickly, eyes meeting hers.

"Where is she tonight?" you heard Mattheo ask.

"Studying, s'got a potions exam tomorrow" Lorenzo said casually.

"Hmpf" Mattheo laughed, and then, "Does that mean Aurora's coming by then?"

Several of the boys laughed.

And your heart plummeted so fast into your stomach you grasped the wall next to you to steady yourself.

"AURORA!?" Pansy whispered ferociously, looking just about as panicked as you felt. "Aurora Bellhaven!?"

You shook your head in disbelief, in shock, as you felt the stinging pressure of tears behind your eyes. There was another girl?

"Fuck off" you heard Lorenzo say.

"Whaaaat? I think it's sweet" Mattheo answered.

You were going to kill him.

You were going to kill all of them.

They knew, they fucking knew Lorenzo was hooking up with someone else and didn't tell you, not even Theo who you'd been friends with longer than Pansy. They all let you walk around like an utter fucking fool. You covered your face with your hands in embarrassment as the tears fell hot against your cheeks and you felt Pansy's arms around you.

"You could just cut that bullshit and lock things down with YN bro" you heard Theo say, but it felt like far too little too late for the sentiment even as you peeked through your fingers as Pansy.

"Seriously, what is the plan there?" Mattheo asked.

"Ehh, you know how it is" Lorenzo drawled.

And you held your breath, because you were quickly learning that you certainly did not know how it was.

"We're a thing, but the door's never completely closed."

Someone let out a low whistle.

And you heard a deep exhale like one of the guys blew out a breath in surprise.

"Cut throat, mate" Blaise muttered.

"Fucking stupid" Theo said and you could picture him shaking his head, his eyes glacial; he'd never approved of the two of you together and you were slowly realizing this may be exactly why.

"And how does she feel about that?" Mattheo asked.

"It's pretty clear she doesn't know, you ass" Theo snapped as you heard the thud of what sounded like a pillow being thrown.

There was the sound of scuffle, then a moment of silence, and then the topic of conversation changed, simple as that, leaving Pansy staring at you in open-mouthed shock before you slid your hands over your face again to muffle your own sobs.

What. The. Fuck.

The next morning Pansy marched down the stairs that led to the common room from the girls' dormitory to find Enzo in his normal spot, leaned against the wall, waiting for you.

"She's not coming" she said sharply as she walked past him.

"Well good morning to you too" he said, sitting up straighter before glancing at the empty stairwell and then back to her. "What do you mean she's not coming?"

Pansy spun to face him.

"I mean she doesn't want to have breakfast with you, and she doesn't want to see you today."

He reared back and his face broke into a smirk like she'd told a ridiculous joke.

"One, of course she wants to see me, don't be fucking daft. And two, what are you? Her guard dog? Mind your business, Parkinson, meddling doesn't suit you."

Pansy could tell he was trying to play it cool, but the way his eyes were narrowed and the way he had snapped at her at the slightest notion that he wouldn't get what he wanted, wouldn't have you, meant her words had had the desired effect; she'd listened to you actually cry yourself to sleep the night before, and she was more than ready to lay into him.

"She doesn't. want. to. see. you" she retorted, enunciating every word. "And I'm not her guard dog, I'm her friend, who happens to love her and care for her, two emotions you seem utterly incapable of. I'm not going to sit back and watch you take advantage of her anymore."

His eyebrow cocked at that.

"Babe, I promise you she would not call what I do to her taking advantage" he said as he smirked again. "If anything, she's taking advantage of me, but it's okay, I like it that way."

"You're disgusting" she said, rolling her eyes as she walked away from him.

He and Pansy had never been close, but she'd also never come at him like that. His hand flexed in and out of a fist in frustration and confusion as he watched a few other girls come down the stairs, none of whom were you.

Had he woken up in an alternate reality, because what the fuck was going on?

Breakfast was...weird.

Enzo had walked to the Great Hall alone, in silence. He was normally content to listen to you talk, to feed off of your morning energy, the way you seemed excited about every new day; he didn't realize how much he relied on that, he felt groggy and moody and instantly reached for the coffee.

Everyone had left your spot open on the bench next to him like you might appear out of thin air, slip in beside him, slide your hand onto his thigh or snuggle your head into his shoulder. But you never did. And he could definitely do without the third-degree he was getting from Theo who stared angrily at him all morning. But he brushed last night's conversation off, it wasn't his fault he didn't want to sit around and talk about his feelings.

For the rest of the morning his eyes searched the corridors for you like a lost puppy, your extended absence and Pansy's comments starting to properly bother him now as he cursed the fact that you didn't have any classes together today.

So when he laid eyes on you that afternoon in the courtyard, he felt a physical weight leave him. Fucking finally he thought, walking towards you, eager to talk to you, to touch you, to confirm for himself he hadn't dreamt the last four months you'd spent together. He was genuinely thrilled to see you... until he wasn't.

You were talking to the guys on the starting line of Hufflepuff's quidditch team, and his feet slowed as he watched you smile shyly and tuck a strand of your hair behind your ear in the very way you used to with him in the earliest days of him trying so damn hard to flirt with you.

He felt something distinctly primal shift in his chest. He swallowed deeply and a thought fluttered through his head that sounded an awful lot like 'Mine'.

He steadied his stride, walking right up to you as he wound an arm around your shoulder.

"Boys" he said dismissively.

"Babe" he shined, looking down to see your wide eyes looking up at him.

He smiled and breathed a sigh of relief; he could read you like a book he'd written himself and he knew you were looking at him in a way you'd never looked at anyone else, starry-eyed, glazed over with affection, full of adoration. Got her he thought.

But then your eyes shifted. In an instant, he watched them change in front of him like a wall coming down as you stepped out of his grasp.

"Good luck at practice" you waved to Cedric Diggory, who might as well have had hearts in his eyes as he watched you go and his teammates laughed and patted him on the back.

Enzo's attention snapped back and forth between your complete dismissal of him and the obvious way Cedric was checking you out.

"Hey - Hey! Eyes right here you fucking prick" he said, shoving Cedric's shoulder in an effort to get him to stop looking at you.

"I'm sorry?" Cedric scoffed.

"Don't fucking look at her like that."

"Like what, Berkshire? And what difference does it make to you anyway?"

Enzo could feel his blood running hot in his veins.

"I know you two had something going on" Cedric continued, "But, what is it she said, boys? Something about the door never being completely closed? Sounds like an open invitation to me."

Enzo's heart dropped into his stomach.

And for the first time in his life, he didn't have a snide remark or a quick comeback at the ready. The bell rung for class and the Hufflepuffs turned to leave, laughing as they left him there staring after them.

He carded his hands roughly through his hair and then over his face. The door's never completely closed? Hadn't he said that exact thing the night before? So why did hearing it now make him feel physically sick.

Enzo’s head was fucking scrambled, and by the time dinner came around, he couldn't tell if he wanted to scream, punch someone or to light something on fire.

Everyone at the table could sense his mood and gave him a wide berth. You weren't there, because of course you weren't and he sat in furious silence, shoveling food in his mouth.

And then, through the muffled noise of 1,000 people eating together in one room, he heard the distinct sound of your voice, your laugh and it was like his body was attuned to recognize it as his eyes shifted despite himself to see you standing with Dean Thomas in the doorway. In reality it wasn't a big deal, plenty of people were milling around or coming and going, but to him it felt like there was a spotlight on the two of you.

Dean was standing far too close to you and looked far too comfortable and happy about it, like he was flaunting it as you laughed again. Enzo wanted to steal the sound right from your lips, to put it in a jar and stash it somewhere only he could listen to it, because it was the same sound you made when he kissed the sensitive spot where the base of your neck met your collarbone and no one had the right to hear how fucking perfect that was besides him.

"Bro" he heard Blaise say, trying to get his attention.

But he couldn't look away.

The same fire that burned in his veins before had reignited now as he watched the two of you leave together. Why the fuck were you ignoring him and brushing him off all day? And when did every guy in the four fucking houses decide they had a chance with you when he'd spent the last four months making it abundantly clear that they didn't.

"BRO!" he heard Blaise say again, and his eyes snapped to him to see him gesturing at the table just in time for every goblet within arms-length shatter, spraying glass, water, and pumpkin juice all over the table. His anger had radiated strongly enough to shatter glass. Fucking perfect.

Someone cast a quick spell to clean it up, but the group was now staring between him, your departing figure and back again.

"Bet you'd like to close that door now, wouldn't you?" Theo muttered under his breath.

And everything clicked into place.

"You told her..." Enzo sneered as his eyes narrowed at him.

"What?"

"You told her I said that!" he said, his voice rising accusatorily as he pointed at Theo.

"I think you're a right idiot when it comes to her, that's no secret Enz, she could do a hell of a lot better–"

"–Oh, fuck off!–" Enzo said, getting to his feet.

"–But, I didn't say anything to her. You're both my friends. Bro code and whatever."

"No, she knew, she said it to Diggory."

"What?"

"He asked her about us and she said 'the door's never completely closed'!"

Fury was radiating off of him in waves, and several heads from other tables began to turn at the outburst.

"And that bothered you?" Theo clarified.

"Of course it fucking did!!" Enzo said, nearly shouting now. How fucking stupid could Theo be?

Theo gestured to him as if to say "See?! If it bothers you, how do you think it makes her feel?" Gods. How fucking stupid could Enzo be?

"Fuck!" Enzo said, exasperated as he tried to gather himself before he moved to run after you.

You were bone tired.

You had been sleepwalking through the day on less than an hour's night sleep, simultaneously fighting the urge to stay strong and to give up completely, to shuffle into Lorenzo's room, to curl into his soft, rumpled sheets that smelled like him, to curl into his arms, to let him help you forget everything you'd heard the night before.

But even thinking about what he'd said had the dam of pressure building behind your eyes even though it felt impossible to produce any more tears.

You turned down the last corridor before the dungeons which was empty and quiet with nearly everyone at dinner, when you heard quickening footsteps and turned to see Lorenzo's tall figure behind you.

"Salazar fucking Slytherin" he cursed, nearly out of breath. "You have been impossible today."

You opened and closed your mouth, your body attempting to process being alone with him and being this close to him; you could smell his cologne, could see the faint freckles on his nose, the hair falling over his face, the perfect curve of his lips and eventually the feel of his warm skin against yours as he grabbed your hand.

"Come onnn—" he said, teasingly, pulling you into him despite the resistance you showed.

Fuck he knew exactly how weak you were.

"—I don't know what you've been playing at, but I'm exhausted and I'd love nothing more than to peel every piece of clothing off of you and—"

"–Shame. Aurora just isn't doing it for you?" you quipped.

You had envisioned so many other more clever ways to confront him, but being this close to him, this tempted by him left you no choice. You had to say it as much to hear it yourself as to confront him.

Regardless your words had the intended effect as you saw his eyes widen, his mouth fall open slightly and his grasp on your hand loosened enough for you to pull away and wrap your arms around yourself.

"Merlin" he said as he ran his hands over his face and groaned as anger and pain welled up inside you.

"Fine" he said flatly, a little angrily, in a way you hadn't heard him speak to you before. "You want to know about Aurora?—" he asked, letting his cold gaze fall on you.

You tried to stand a little straighter. No. Yes? No? You opened your mouth but couldn't form a coherent reply.

"—Cause I am more than happy to fill you in on exactly how she and I spend our nights together" he said, taking a step towards you.

You took a step backwards and your face fell, as you bit your bottom lip to keep from crying.

"Lorenzo" you said quietly, begging him to stop whatever torture this was.

You saw his jaw tick at your plea.

"Aurora makes the best sleeping draught of our year."

Confusion and panic were written on your face as you tried to figure out what he was saying as his eyes met yours, unwavering.

"I don't..." you started.

He moved to close the space between you and cupped your face in his hands, holding your gaze to his own.

"I'm so fucking pathetic for you that I can't sleep when you're not with me. So I have to pay that girl an ungodly amount of money to make something to help."

Your eyes searched his, seeking even a hint of untruth and finding none. You opened your mouth and closed it again for the thousandth time as you brought your hands to rest on top of his.

"But I thought..."

"Yeah it's very clear what you thought based on the way Pansy nearly hexed me this morning."

You swallowed and closed your eyes, shaking your head to try to sort out this information.

"But you said despite what we have the door's never completely closed, I thought that meant—"

"—I knew it! I fucking knew Nott told you, I'm going to kill him!" he said, letting you go and stepping away as his hands curled into fists.

You bit your lip guiltily but didn't feel like giving him an ounce of your truth until you were sure you had all of his.

"Lorenzo" you said quietly, your voice wavering slightly, pulling his attention back to you. "Why did you say it?"

He sighed deeply as he turned back to you, letting out a breath he didn't know he was holding.

"You're the only one that does that" he said.

"Does what?" you asked, confused.

"Use my full name. And it fucking kills me every time, to hear how perfect it sounds on your lips—“

"—D-Don't change the subject."

"I'm not."

You frowned at him.

"Look…the boys hound me relentlessly about you. It's constant. All the fucking time, especially Theo" he said, getting worked up.

"And I wanted to bring us—this up—" he gestured between you "—But they started making it seem like such a big deal, like it needed to be a fucking marriage proposal; how was I going to do it? When was I going to do it? What was taking me so long? And at a certain point I didn't even know how to go about it anymore and started psyching myself out..." His face scrunched in a way you hadn't seen before as he looked down at his feet.

Was he... nervous?

"...Like, maybe you didn't even want that with me, or didn't even see me like that because why the fuck would you, you know? I don't have the most...stellar reputation, and clearly you have no shortage of fucking options... And the idea of asking you and you saying no?!?" he scoffed and grimaced, shaking his head. "Not an option, not a chance I was willing to take."

He shrugged.

"So I thought it was better to just let it play out, to stop wishing for shit that's probably too good to be true anyway and just try to enjoy what I could... I don't know… But I do know that today absolutely blew without you. Turns out I really really don't want that door to be open, YN, not even a little bit."

A sweet, slow smile spread across your face.

"But seriously Diggory's fucking dead next match, and I look forward to a long chat with your boy Dean Thomas as well."

You smiled wider and rolled your eyes, reaching to tangle your fingers into his.

"So, just to clarify" you said as you stepped towards him, "The door is closed? We're...?" you let the question hang as you gestured between the two of you. A thing?

"The door is very closed. Locked. With a fucking armoire in front of it, love, has been. There's no one else, there's not going to be anyone else."

For a brief moment, you felt overwhelmingly foolish at what you'd accused him of as you blushed deeply and averted your eyes. But reading you like he always did, Lorenzo moved to kiss you, not wasting another minute of this godsforsaken day to get his lips on yours, to hear your soft sigh of relief against him and the way you melted into him, slowly winding your arms around his neck, your hands tangling into his hair as his tongue tangled with yours.

He picked you up, pulling your legs around his waist as he began to walk you the rest of the way to the common room, never breaking contact even as you laughed and squeezed him tighter.

"Mmpf-wait-wait! It wasn't Theo" you said, pulling back briefly.

"What?" he asked, breaking your kiss only long enough to press you against the wall and begin kissing his way down your neck.

You lost your train of thought as your mind went hazy at the feeling of his wet, warm lips against your pulse.

"T-Theo didn't tell me anything, so don't be mad at him."

"So, what, you reading minds all of a sudden?" he joked. "What am I thinking right now?" he asked as he ran his hand up your thigh, under your skirt.

"I don't need to read minds to know that, because I'm thinking the same thing, Lorenzo" you whispered, drawing out the length of his name and feeling his grasp on you tighten in response.

"Fuck, I literally don't care how you knew, love. We're here now and you're fucking mine and I intend to spend the rest of the night showing you exactly what that entails" he said, kissing you again before carrying you off to his room.

taglist: @kenjikishimotoswifey, @mattiesgf, @sleepiibunniiii, @darlingshecried, @girllblogging777, @foivetimesacharm, @clar2aa, @broadwaybaby123, @slytherinscreamqueen, @chelawrites, @loverliner, @smut-anarchy, @locknco

[luvbinnies]

i made a promise, to distance myself

A boy who kept his feelings locked away and someone who wore their heart on their sleeve. When he walked away, it was without warning, without reason. And they refused to wait for an explanation. Now few months later, forced to work together on a project neither can escape, old wounds resurface. Silence turns into stolen glances, resentments bleeds into something dangerously familiar, and the past refuses to stay buried.

Genre: fluff, angst, exs to lovers, el oh el.

warnings: swearing, isaac newton mentioned, could be sad ig (?), i can't think of anything else

a/n: im back from the dead, recently fell under a moving car and got dumped el oh el, some parts in here are inspo by like my actual life, i have a list of all the similarities if anyone is curiosu at the end of the story. basically wake up from a dream where me and my ex got back together and wrote this.

wc: 9.6k (longest fic ever el oh el)

Jumping off a flight of stairs was probably not the best idea, but it was the only thing you could think of at the moment.

Reluctantly moving down the stairs and following the loud clunk sounds of your stupid bright neon green water bottle. Books and papers of drawings and blueprints that won't fit into your messenger bag without getting damaged. Maybe you should’ve listened to when people said getting a regular backpack was much more convenient than the bag you had now, but it was much more fashionable. 

Landing at the bottom of the staircase, take a moment to breathe and prepare yourself for having to go back up five flights of stairs to get to class. Because even though the school is one of the prestigious in the country, they refuse to have any sort of elevators to ruin their “dark academic” aesthetic of the building. 

Eyes traveling on the old cobbled stoned flooring, trying to locate a neo-coded water bottle, your mother insisted on getting since she read somewhere green is this year's lucky colour. Probably found in some ridiculous article, really got to get her off social media. 

Bright neon green slipped through your peripheral vision, turning to face the still rolling bottle and walking towards it before it makes you late for your next class. It stops in front of a pair of solid black shoes, one that looks all too familiar. The figure stops at the feeling of the ratchet bottle that wants to ruin your day even more than it already has. 

A recognizable pale hand, with a silver ring on the index,  hesitantly drops down to pick up the bottle that led you down a path to the literal pits of hell for you. Eyes not dare looking up from the ground, taking your somewhat free hand and extending out your pinky to the now stranger you have a bitter taste in your mouth everytime you come near. Once the feeling of your pinky is weighted down by the feeling of the water bottle’s hook, you take off up the stairs with energy that you didn’t think you had anymore left of, as it’s your third time climbing these stairs in the past ten minutes. 

Not a care in the world if a stranger walks by and deem you as a rude bastard who can’t even say thank you, because you can;t even say a word to the “nice stranger” who handed you your water bottle. All you can do around him now is just run and avoid. That’s what you continue to do until you reach your class, probably looking a little weird as you were also cursing at your bottle and gravity, mainly isaac newton, he’s usually the bane of all your problems lately, besides the man you used to call yours. 

—

His friends would sometimes joke to him that the world is too fast for him at times, usually when he doesn’t get a joke right away or for him zoning out, especially as it has been worse in these past few months. 

But that happened so fast, he has no idea what to do, or how to react but just to stare at your figure rushing up the stairs. Sunghoon’s jaw tightens as you fade away up the many flights of stairs. Acting like he is some contagious virus, even afraid to touch him, much less look at him. 

He would remember when their friend group was still intact and when they would all hang out, how sometimes the gang would get too overwhelming, even from the other side of the room you would catch his eye and always give him a comforting smile. And the simple eye contact with one another, while the world moves along around them. 

But he had lost that with you and it’s all his fault. 

—

Taking a little break from the assignment in front of you to angrily tap on your phone so the ads on your music app stop, knowing you aren’t really actually doing anything to get rid of them unless you become one of the apps victims and pay for music. But your stubbornness and being broke, so aggressively hitting your phone is your next best solution. 

The little silence after the ad is finally done and the next song is about to start, you can hear a mechanical pencil roll off of a desk. A quiet clatter could barely be noticed in the slight hum of the library. You didn’t hear it at first, the angry high you had because of the ad made you lock out of concentrating from your work— until you noticed the hand reaching for it making you pause.

Long pale fingers. A silver ring on the index.

You know those hands, it's your second time seeing them in… you weren’t too sure the last time you saw those hands when they were wrapped around your water bottle. All you knew was that you were seeing those hands much sooner than you needed to. 

Those hands, you remember the weight of those hands in yours, the way they used to hold your face and caress your cheek, the way they tug at your sleeves on your sweater absentmindedly. 

And you recognize the pencil.

It’s yours.

Not exactly, but you did buy that pencil. 

Something in you starts feeling nauseous, or light-headed, you couldn’t really figure out in the moment because without thinking, you reach out and yank that pencil right out of his grip. 

Maybe you shouldn’t have done that, because now that gross boy opened his mouth, but you didn’t care. 

Sunghoon blinks. “Hey did you just—”

Whenever you were bored in class you would always do fun pencil tricks and even taught him how to do some with this said pencil in your hands. 

Spinning the pencil around, inspecting it with feigned interest, not caring about the boy next to you with his mouth open like a fish staring at you. “Huh. I forgot how nice this pencil was.”

Now his mouth is close as he clenches his jaw, his  stare sharpening. “You can’t be serious.”

Finally turning your head to look at him, trying to maintain the emotions on your face. Instead of saying something you might end up regretting, in the fear of sounding cringe, you just shrug. 

“Give it back.”

“Why?” Resting your chin on your hand. “It’s mine.”

He exhales sharply, the kind of exasperated breath he used to let out when you teased for taking things too seriously. Except now there’s a little bit of an edge to everything. 

“You gave it to me.”

You tilt your head “Did I?”

You weren’t sure if he could clench his jaw any harder, but somehow he does. “Yeah. You did.”

Your grip on the pencil tightens. You can’t say you remember everything that was said the night of the break up, but you remember the way you felt, the way he left without explanation— like he couldn’t bear to stay with you any second longer. As if he couldn’t stand to hold on to something that was already slipping away. 

He didn’t even let you have a say, you didn’t get the chance to do anything, not even fight for what was yours then. 

So now you hold on to that damn pencil. 

“Well,” you say, voice light, “technically, it was mine first.”

Sunghoon lets out a humorless laugh, one you don’t recognize in this fever dream daze of nostalgia. Leaning against the table, he’s close now, closer than you could've prepared for. You hate the way your heart stumbles over itself at the lack of distance, at the way he still smells the same— like something clean and sharp, a little cologne you had bought him about a year ago for his birthday. 

His voice drops an octave. “You’re seriously pulling this shit?”

Shrugging again, simply just pulling a stare you hope doesn’t reveal how fast your heart is beating stupidly like it used to. 

He watches you for a long second, his brown eyes scanning your face like he’s trying to figure out what type of game you were playing. But then, not arguing, instead of pushing back, he just exhales softly. 

“Fine,” he mutters, “Keep it.”

And then, right before he turns away— so quiet you almost think you had imagined it—

“It suits you better anyways.”

You blink.

Before you could say anything, maybe asking what the fuck he meant by what he said, he’s already walking off. Leaving you with a mechanical pencil in your hands and this time you watching him as he walks away, with a taste of words you don’t quite understand.

—

Two year ago

Rain pitter patters against the windows, a dull hum in the background in the near-empty classroom. It’s late— too late for anyone to be here— you didn’t care, you were too stubborn. Chewing on your nail, brows furrowed in concentration as you glare at your notebook, completely oblivious to the fact that Sunghoon hasn’t turned a page in the last ten minutes. 

He should be focusing. He should be running through formulas in his head, thinking about the test tomorrow, or at the very least be pretending to be studying. Instead, he’s watching you— watching the way you puff out your cheeks when you stop understanding what you were just doing, the way you spin the pencil in your hand absentmindedly, the way you whisper to yourself while doing each exercise when you think no one’s listening.

You’re always like this– loud without meaning to be, pulling attention without even trying. 

He should’ve known sooner. That you were dangerous in the kind of way that crept up on him, slipping past his defenses before he had the chance to stop it. 

“Sunghoon.”

Your voice snaps him back to reality, he straightens, forcing his face into something neutral. “What?”

Pushing your notebook towards him, sighing dramatically. “Did you do this one yet? I don’t know if I did it correctly.”

He glances at your notebook, eyes widening a little, as to the most he could see on the page was a bunch of scribbles and some incoherent formulas and calculation. Having a hard time reading it , before shifting his chair closer. You don’t think twice about it when your shoulders brush. You never do. 

But he does.

He always does. 

“Is this your answer, at the corner?” he asks, taking your pencil without thinking, to circle the little number at the bottom of the page. Your fingers graze for a second, and he wonders if you feel the static the way he does. Probably not. You’d pull away if you did.

He attempted to go over your work, commenting on what you have written in a voice that’s much steadier than he feels. You nod along, resting your chin on your hand, eye flickering between his face and page. 

“I hate Isaac Newton and that stupid apple.” you grumble.

Sunghoon huffs a quiet laugh shaking his head. “You just overthink everything.”

You groan. “I wish that apple killed that stupid white man.” 

He watches as you bury your head in your arms on the table, tapping your forehead lightly with the end of the pencil before setting it back down. “Just stop overthinking and wishing death upon an already dead man.”

Lifting your head, you blink at him, lips parting like you want to argue, but for a brief moment, something passes between the two of you— something neither of you have a name for yet.

And then you roll your eyes, reaching for your notebook. “Yeah, yeah. Whatever, idiot.”

Sunghoon watches as you turn your pages to start a new question, completely unaware of the way his fingers twitch against his knee, resisting the urge to brush a stray strand of hair from your face.

Yeah.

He’s in trouble. 

—

A few months ago

The night air is cold, but not as cold as the space between you.

Your arms are crossed. His hands are shoved into his pockets.

A street light flickers overhead. A car passes in the distance. 

Sunghoon exhales, steadying himself.

Then. before he can stop it— before he can think too hard about what he’s about to lose—

“I think we should break up.”

Silence.

The kind that swallows everything whole.

Your lips part, but no words come out. 

Your lips part, but no words come out.

The look in your eyes— confusion, disbelief, then something else, something that burns— 

“What-Why?”

He doesn’t answer. Or maybe he does, but it’s not the right thing.

It’s never the right thing.

The air is heavy, thick with things neither of you are saying.

Then, finally— your voice, quieter this time.

“Okay.”

A single step back. Then another.

And then—

Nothing. 

—

The classroom hums with chatter, students moving around and the teacher speaking about some project, but you were barely listening. Your attention is elsewhere— on your notebook, on the scratches of pen against paper, literally anything but him.

He was two rows ahead, resting his chin on his hand, half-focused on his laptop. Almost similar to you right now. Too similar. 

You don’t look at him. You don’t let yourself.

But then—

“For the project, you’ll be working in pairs.”

There is a ripple of movement through the room, students glancing around already choosing their partners. 

“I’ve assigned them to you.”

Your stomach twists. 

You sit a little straighter. Your fingers tighten around your pen. 

 The professor starts listing off names. One by one, students find their partner. You’re holding your breath, waiting for—

And then—

Your name.

And then, immediately after—

His. 

You freeze.

The room suddenly feels too small, the air too thick. 

Someone nudges your arm, murmuring something about how lucky you are since you get to work with the “hottest guy on campus”, but their voice is distant, muffled by the sound of blood rushing in your ears.

Slowly, hesitantly, you lift your gaze. 

Sunghoon had turned in his seat. 

For the first time in months, you’re looking at each other. 

And the worst part? He doesn’t even look surprised. 

—

Sunghoon doesn’t hear from you for the rest of the day. 

Not a text, not a call— nothing.

And the, at exactly 11:51 pm., an email lands in his inbox.

Subject: Project Task

From: yn@beliftuniversity.com

To: parksunghoon@beliftuniversity.com 

Attached is the project outline. I’ve divided the tasks. I’ll handle the structural analysis and concept sketches. You can do the mechanical components. Tell me when you are done. 

Sent from my phone

That’s it. No greeting. No unnecessary words. Not  even your name.

Sunghoon exhales through his nose, clicking open the file. You’ve already set up everything— titles, labels, even deadlines. You’ve practically built a wall of professionalism between you, as if you were never anything but classmates. 

And it pisses him off.

Fine. two can play this game. 

He types a reply, short and to the point.

Subject: Re: Project Tasks

Got it. 

He doesn’t hit send. 

His fingers hover over the keyboard. His jaw clenches.

Then, in a moment of stubborn impulse, he types—

You can’t avoid me forever.

And hits send before he can take it back.

—

“You know, he’s right.”

You shoot a glare over at Sunoo. “Don’t start.”

“I’m just saying,” he continued, kicking his feet up on the bench. “You can’t ignore him forever.”

“I can, actually.” you sip your matcha pointedly. “It’s called email.”

He snorts. “You sound like a middle-aged professor.”

“Good. Maybe he’ll leave me alone then.”

Sunoo raises an eyebrow. “He literally told you, ‘You can’t avoid me forever.’”

You roll your eyes. “Yeah, and? I don’t care.”

The words are barely out of your mouth when Sunoo suddenly stiffens, eyes darting over your shoulder. 

“Uh—”

You don’t even have to ask. You just know.

There’s a familiar shift to the air, an awareness pressing down on your skin. 

And then, just to confirm it—

“Shit,” Sunoo mutters. “He’s down the hall.”

You don’t think. You just move.

Your hands shoot out, gripping his sleeve as you drag them down the corridor. 

“Are you serious?!” he hiss between stumbling steps.

“Shut up, shut up , shut up—”

“Please can we stop running, I don’t think he would be chasing us down for sport.”

You don’t care. You don’t turn around because you know if you do, you’ll see Sunghoon standing there, staring after you, that unreadable look on his face. 

And you are not giving him that satisfaction.

Not today. 

—

Staring at your laptop screen, fingers hovering over the keyboard, the flashing cursor blinking back at you in defiance. You’ve been avoiding this email for days— every time you think about it your stomach churns, and you mind races with excuses. 

You don’t want to deal with him. Not now. Not ever again.

The project, the meeting, the unavoidable tension. You had hoped, foolishly, that you could really just avoid Sunghoon completely— keep everything strictly professional, send email, handle the assignment without having to face him in person. But that plan was crushed the moment the email landed in your inbox, his name in bold. 

“Let’s meet in person tomorrow to go over the project. I’ll bring the drafts.”

Of course, Sunghoon had to take the initiative. You had a suspicion he’d never let you hide behind your screen forever. He was stubborn, too, in a way that always seemed to get under your skin. 

You arrived at the library, dragging your feet, already feeling the weight of the situation settle in your chest. The project was an assignment, but the real challenge was having to sit across from him, pretending that nothing had happened, pretending that the last year— no, the last months— hadn’t been a whirlwind of frustration and heartache.

But here you were, faced with reality. You walked into the library, hoping to avoid eye contact, but you couldn’t escape the familiar sight of him sitting at a table with all his papers neatly organized, a slight form on his face as he scanned the documents. 

His eyes flicked up when he saw you enter, and for a second, your heart skipped a beat. But you force yourself to remain calm. He was just a classmate now, just another part of your academic routine. Nothing more. 

You set your things down at the table across from him, pulling your laptop out with the practiced motions of someone who had done this a thousand times before. You weren;t going to make this more personal than it had to be. No small talk. No catching up. Just the project. 

“Hey,” Sunghoon greeted, his voice neutral but carrying the weight of something unsaid. He glanced at the papers in front of you and then back to you. “Are you okay with everything so far? I made some revisions to the outline.”

You didn;t look at him. Instead, you glanced at the project papers and began sorting through them, avoiding his gaze entirely. “I’ll read them over later. Just… let’s focus on getting it done.”

You felt his eyes on you, the tension palpable in the air, but you refused to acknowledge it. You had your own part to do, your own work to focus on. Nothing else mattered right now. The project was the only thing that mattered. 

—

Sunghoon sighed, and you could hear the edge of frustration creeping into his voice. “Look, I know this isn;t easy for either of us, but we’re stuck with each other for this project. We might as well get it done right.”

“I’m not here to talk,” you snapped back, the words sharp and defensive. “Just focus on your part. I’ll handle mine.”

His expression hardened , but he didn’t push it any further. He opened up his own laptop and began typing, the sound of the keyboard tapping filling the silence between the both of you. 

For a while, it was quiet— just the sound of typing, rustling of papers. But no matter how hard you tried to focus, you couldn;’t shake the nagging feeling that he was watching you. His presence was like a shadow that followed your every move you made, and you hated how it made your chest tighten. You shouldn’t feel like this. You had no reason to. This wasn’t supposed to be personal. It was just a project. 

But then, suddenly, Sunghoon spoke again, his voice quieter, almost reluctant.

“You know,” he said, voice low but insistent, “we used to work well together. Back in high school. Why are you making this harder than it has to be?”

You froze, your fingers still on the keyboard. You could feel the old pain creep up your throat, but you swallowed it down, shoving it away. No. Don’t go there.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” you said, your voice steady but with a hint of something you don’t want to put a name to. And then, with a sigh, he turned his attention back to his laptop, typing in silence for a long time. 

—

Two year ago

 It had been a late night at the library, the kind where the air felt thick with concentration and the promise of deadlines hanging over every student in the building. You were sitting at the same table as Sunghoon, both of you buried in textbooks, trying to get ahead before the weekend.

It was supposed to be just another study session, but something felt different. Maybe it was the way the soft overhead lights cast shadows over his features or how the silence between you two wasn’t awkward but comfortable. You couldn’t help it— his face was so focused, his lips slightly pursed in concentration, and for some reason, the sight of him studying like that made your heart skip. 

“Is there something on my face?” he asked, his voice teasing but gentle.

You blinked and quickly looked away, flustered. “No … it’s just, you look… nice when you study.”

Sunghoon raised an eyebrow, clearly amused. He leaned forward slightly, his voice lower than usual. “Nice, huh? That’s a first.”

You wanted to curl up and die from embarrassment, but instead you found yourself smiling despite the heat in your cheeks. Something about being with him felt so easy, so natural.

And then, before you could stop yourself, the words slipped out. “You look… pretty. When you study.”

There was a long pause, and then Sunghoon chuckled, his smile widening. “Pretty, huh? Well, that’s new.”

You couldn’t help it. You laughed too, the awkwardness melting away in the warmth of his gaze. That moment— when you both realized that maybe there was something more there— was when it all started. 

—

The silence in the library stretches again. You go back to your laptop, trying to focus on the work in front of you. But the memory of that moment, of those words you’d said so long ago, hangs in the air like a ghost.

Sunghoon’s presence is undeniable now. Every time his shoulder brushes against yours as he reaches for his drink, it feels like a jolt of electricity. You grit your teeth, forcing yourself to keep working, to ignore the way his proximity makes your heart race. 

“You know, if we just worked together instead of pretending we’re strangers, this would be a lot easier,” Sunghoon says again, his voice a little more insistent now, but still carrying that gentle tone. 

You refuse to look up, clenching your jaw. “Just finish your part. I’ll finish mine.”

“I’ve always liked how stubborn you are,” he mutters, but there’s a soft fondness behind the words. “But you’re going to make this harder than it has to be, aren’t you?”

You bite your lip, fighting the urge to snap back. But the reality is that he’s right. You are making this harder. You’re making everything harder by refusing to acknowledge how much you still feel for him.

But you can’t admit that, not now, not when the walls between you two are so high, so insurmountable. 

—

It’s late—too late for anyone to be at the library anymore. The harsh overhead lights flicker in the empty room, casting long shadows on the tables where students usually sat, buried in their books. But not you. You’re still here, alone, a stack of textbooks and papers spread out before you. The hum of the fluorescent lights fills the air, broken only by the soft tapping of your fingers on the keyboard.

You’ve been here for hours, the deadline looming closer with every passing second. Your mind is tired, but you won’t leave until you finish. It’s like a race against time. A way to distract yourself from everything else.

But then, you feel it. A presence.

You look up, and there’s Sunghoon, standing by the entrance, his gaze scanning the room. You immediately look away, pretending you hadn’t seen him. Why is he here? You weren’t supposed to see him, not tonight.

He walks toward you slowly, his footsteps soft but deliberate. You keep your eyes down, focused on the papers in front of you, but you can feel him getting closer.

“You’re still here?” Sunghoon says, his voice low, like he’s not sure what to make of the situation.

You sigh, unwilling to make this a conversation. “I’m working. Is that a problem?”

“No,” he answers quickly, but there’s a softness to his tone now. Something gentler. “Just... thought you’d left by now.”

You don’t look up, but you hear him pull out the chair opposite you. He sits down, but doesn’t speak immediately. You don’t say anything either. It’s awkward. You try to focus on the work in front of you, trying to ignore the feeling of his presence, so close but still so far away.

You keep your head down, but the longer you stay in the silence, the more you feel the walls you’ve built start to crumble, piece by piece. He doesn’t push you. Doesn’t force a conversation. He just... stays.

You try not to think too much about it. It’s just Sunghoon. Just a classmate.

But then, hours later, you’re blinking, your head feeling heavy as you try to focus on the screen in front of you. You hadn’t realized how tired you were until your eyelids started to flutter. You hadn’t meant to fall asleep, but the exhaustion catches up with you.

You don’t even realize you’ve nodded off until you’re suddenly jerked awake, your head jerking up from the desk. The library is quiet, almost too quiet, and the light from the desk lamp casts a soft glow around the room. That’s when you notice it.

A jacket—dark, heavy, and familiar—draped over your shoulders.

You blink, still groggy from sleep, and turn to see that Sunghoon is gone, his chair empty. You try to shake the fogginess from your mind, but there’s no denying it: He left his jacket with you.

You didn’t hear him come back. Didn’t feel him approaching. But somehow, he’d slipped it onto you while you were asleep, without a sound.

You sit there for a moment, the jacket still warm against your skin. His scent clings to it, and you find yourself unable to take it off. It feels wrong to just leave it behind, but you’re not sure why it feels so important to keep it on.

You look down at your own hands, your fingers grazing the sleeve, feeling the weight of the jacket, both literally and emotionally. You’re not sure if it’s the jacket that’s weighing on you or the memories that come with it. But it’s there. And so is he.

You stay there for a few more minutes, just sitting in the quiet, knowing that it would be impossible to get anything more done tonight. You pack up your things, but you don’t take off the jacket. Instead, you walk out of the library with it on, your heart a little heavier than when you came in.

—

It was dark outside, and the bus was filled with the soft chatter of your classmates. You and Sunghoon were sitting in the same seat, your shoulders brushing as you both leaned against the window, tired from the day’s activities.

You’d always been close, never quite aware of how it felt to have someone just be there with you. But that day, there was something different about it. It was like you both had settled into this quiet rhythm—comfortable, easy.

You leaned your head against the window, gazing out at the passing lights. The bus was warm, and your eyes were starting to grow heavy from the day’s exhaustion. Without realizing it, you drifted off, your head slipping onto Sunghoon’s shoulder.

He didn’t immediately pull away, didn’t complain. He just let you sleep, his body slightly tensing at the sudden closeness, but not enough to push you away.

And when you woke up, it wasn’t awkward. You just rubbed your eyes, looked up at him, and smiled.

“You’re comfy,” you murmured.

Sunghoon chuckled softly. “You really just fell asleep on me, huh?”

You laughed, feeling a warmth in your chest. “It’s not like I did it on purpose. I didn’t even realize.”

And even though it had only been a few seconds, you both lingered in that moment, your eyes meeting briefly before he gave you a smile that made your heart flutter.

You’d brushed it off as nothing—just a friendly gesture.

—

You’re still sitting in your room, the jacket still on your shoulders. It feels like a weight, not because it’s heavy, but because of the memories it brings. The warmth lingers on your skin, but so does the uncertainty. You can’t figure out why this is bothering you so much.

Your phone buzzes on the table, pulling you from your thoughts. A new email. You don’t need to look at it to know it’s from him. Sunghoon.

The message is simple: “Still need help with the project. Let me know if you want to meet up.”

You close your eyes and let out a slow breath. You want to ignore it. Pretend you didn’t see it. But you can’t. Because part of you wants him to be there. Part of you wants him to still be the one to help you, even if you don’t want to admit it.

You stand up, pacing around the room, the jacket slipping slightly off your shoulders as you move. You pull it tighter around you, almost subconsciously.

You know you’ll have to face him again. Maybe tomorrow. Maybe sooner. Hopefully later. But right now, with his jacket still draped over you, you’re not sure if you're ready.

But for some reason, you know you’re going to have to take it off.

—

You walk into the classroom, clutching the jacket in your hands. It’s been a couple of days since you woke up to find it draped over your shoulders, Sunghoon’s jacket—a silent gesture that spoke more than words ever could. He hadn’t said anything when you first found it. It had simply been there. At first, you thought it was an accident, but the longer you held onto it, the more it felt like something else. You hadn’t returned it immediately, unsure why you kept it. But now, with the fact the two of you share a class together, it felt like the right time.

You spot him sitting by the window, alone, lost in whatever thoughts occupy his mind. He doesn’t notice you as you approach, and the moment feels strangely... intimate, even though you're still far from the comfort you once shared.

You stand in front of him, holding out the jacket, but he doesn’t immediately take it. His eyes flicker up, and for a split second, something unreadable passes between you. He reaches for the jacket, but as his fingers brush yours, it’s more of a reflex than any real desire to touch.

Before you can pull away, a voice from behind you cuts through the moment.

"Are you two... together or just friends?"

You glance over to find a couple of classmates watching you both curiously. It’s a casual question, but the curiosity in their eyes is unmistakable. Sunghoon’s hand freezes mid-motion, his fingers still hovering over the jacket. He looks back at them briefly, his gaze faltering, not quite meeting yours.

For a moment, you’re not sure what to say. You notice how Sunghoon looks at the ground, avoiding any real response. His lips press together, his hand still unsure of whether to take the jacket back or not. He’s hesitant, as always.

You, on the other hand, feel the weight of the question, but you don’t shy away from it. Not this time. You stand tall, glancing over at your classmates and meeting their gaze.

“We’re just friends,” you say, your voice steady and clear. “Nothing more.”

Sunghoon doesn’t say anything. He just takes the jacket from your hand, his fingers brushing yours again, but this time it’s almost mechanical. You turn away quickly, the moment lingering behind you like an unspoken tension.

Your classmates exchange glances, their curiosity piqued, but they don’t push further. They turn their attention to the front of the room as class starts, but the question still lingers in the air.

You sit down at your desk, feeling the eyes of your classmates on you for a moment longer than usual. You force yourself to focus, pretending it doesn’t matter, but the thought of that brief interaction, the way Sunghoon avoided the question, settles heavily in your chest.

The class continues, but your mind drifts, back to that jacket and the weight of unspoken words. You can’t help but wonder what he might’ve said if you hadn’t answered for both of you.

No, that’s what he should’ve said because you guys were not dating, he broke up with you, and now the two of you were simply forced to work together. That’s it. 

—

The autumn air was crisp, carrying the scent of fallen leaves as the two of you walked side by side down the quiet street. The school festival had just ended, and the distant hum of laughter and music still echoed behind you. Groups of students were lingering back at the event, but somehow, the two of you ended up here, together, away from it all. 

It wasn’t planned. It never was with him. It was just how things always seemed to happen.

You hugged your arms around yourself because of the cold, cursing at yourself for not bringing a bigger jacket knowing the weather but wanting to look good for the event. He walked a little ahead, hands stuffed in the pockets of his jackets, his head tilted slightly towards you as if he was waiting for you to say something. 

You had always been the talker between the both of you. The one who made friends easily, the one who never hesitated. But right now, the words sat heavy on your tongue, unspoken. 

He let out a small sigh, looking up at the sky. “It’s late.”

“You should’ve left earlier then.”

He huffed, a tiny, almost-smile tugging at his lips before he looked back ahead. “You didn’t have to leave, you know.”

You shrugged. “Didn’t feel like staying.”

It wasn’t a lie, but it wasn’t the full truth either. The festival had been fine, fun even. But then you’d seen him standing by himself, lingering near the edges of the crowd, not quite a part of it. And suddenly, the excitement of it all had dimmed. 

He kicked a small rock with the tip of his shoe, watching it tumble along the pavement. “Didn’t think you were the type to leave a party early.”

“I’m full of surprises.”

A breeze picked up, and instinctively, you crossed your arms tighter over yourself. Without a word, Sunghoon shrugged off his jacket and held it out to you.

You blinked at him. “What are you doing?”

“You’re cold.”

You scoffed. “I’m not cold.”

He didn’t say anything, just kept holding the jacket out with that blank expression of his— the one that meant he wasn;t going to argue. You hesitated for a second too long, and then, as if deciding for you, he draped it over your shoulders himself. 

You looked up at him, a retort on the tip of your tongue, but then you caught the way his fingers lingered just a second longer against your shoulder, the way he swallowed, like he wanted to say something but thought better of it. 

It was nothing.

It was everything.

Your heart did something stranger in your chest, a quiet stutter. But then he pulled away, shoving his hands back into his pockets, eyes flickering elsewhere like it was no big deal.

Like he didn’t just leave you standing there in the middle of the empty street, drowning in the scent of his cologne, trying not to overthink what had just happened. 

“Let’s go.” he said, his voice calm, steady. Like always. 

You didn’t move right away. You just watched him, this boy who always seemed out of reach.

Then you exhaled and started walking again, side by side, your steps falling in sync.

And if your hands brushed once— just once— neither of you said a word about it. 

—

After class, you head out of the room, your mind still lingering on the awkward exchange. As you walk down the hallway, you notice Sunghoon a few paces behind you, his expression neutral. You don’t turn around, but you can feel his presence. It;s the same as always, but somehow it’s different.

The hallway stretches ahead of you both, and you find yourself wondering if it’s the same for him, if he’s feeling the same weight of the unsaid words hanging in the air between you. But then you push the thought away. You can’t keep thinking about it. Not now. Not like this.

The day continues, but it doesn’t feel the same. Something has shifted again. Not a big thing, just the subtle change in the air whenever Sunghoon is around. But for now, you focus on the present. The project. The work. There’s no room for anything else. At least not yet. 

—

Sunghoon hated studying in public places. He hated the noise, the crowded spaces, the way it was impossible to concentrate. But for some reason, he was here.

With you.

The library was dimly lit, the only sounds coming from the occasional turning of pages and the soft clicking of keyboards. It was nearly empty at this hour, just the two of you tucked away in a corner, buried under textbooks and notes.

You sighed dramatically, stretching your arms over your head before slumping onto the desk. “I’m going to die here.”

Sunghoon didn’t look up from his notes. “You say that every time we study.”

“Yeah, and one day it’ll be true. And when that day comes, I hope you feel bad about it.”

He huffed a quiet laugh, shaking his head. “Dramatic.”

You turned your head to look at him, resting your cheek against your arm. The lamplight softened his features, highlighting the sharp angles of his jaw, the curve of his nose, the way his lashes cast faint shadows on his skin. 

He was so pretty.

Unfairly so.

You frowned, furrowing your brows. “Do you know you’re pretty?”

That finally made him look up. He blinked at you, pen pausing mid-air. “What?”

“What?”

There was a flicker of something in his expression— surprise, amusement, something unreadable. He tilted his head slightly. “I don’t think about that kind of stuff.”

You scoff. “Oh shut up.”

Sunghoon shook his head, turning back to his notes. “You’re ridiculous.”

“You’re avoiding the question.”

“Because it’s a weird question.”

“It’s not weird.” You sighed, pushing yourself up onto your elbows. “I just think it’s unfair that some people get to be smart and pretty.”

His lips twitched, like he was trying not to smile. “You’re calling me smart too?”

“Don’t get ahead of yourself.”

You hadn’t meant anything by it. It was just a passing thought, casual observation. But for some reason. Sunghoon kept stealing glances at you for the rest of the night, his fingers tapping idly against his notebook, like he was trying to figure something out. 

—

The library is quieter than usual tonight. The steady hum of air conditioning fills the space, and the dim, golden glow of the desk lamps casts long shadows on the wooden tables. It’s late— too late to still be working— but neither of you have left.

At first, you barely acknowledged each other. The project was the only thing keeping you here and even then, you refused to speak unless absolutely necessary. You typed your sections. He worked on his. Simple.

But at some point, between the furious clicking of keys and the scratching of his pen against paper, something shifted. 

The silence wasn’t as sharpe anymore. The air between you wasn’t quite so cold.

You were still stubborn, still keeping your distance, but Sunghoon had started to slip through the cracks. 

It was in the way he quietly slid your match closer when he noticed you reaching for it absentmindedly. In the way his eyes lingered a second longer than necessary whenever you furrowed your brows at the screen, lost in thought. In the way he wordlessly handed you a new pen when yours ran out of ink, his fingers brushing yours just for a second.

Little things.

Things you didn’t want to acknowledge.

Things that made it harder to pretend that you hadn’t missed this— missed him.

You force yourself to focus on the words in front of you, but your mind is elsewhere. On him. On the past. 

—

It had been a long night.

You weren’t supposed to stay out this late, but somehow, time slipped away. It was just the two of you, walking home after an evening study session, the sky stretched out in a blanket of deep navy blue. The air was crisp, autumn settling in with a quiet chill, and your footsteps echoed against the empty sidewalk.

“I can’t feel my fingers,” you muttered, shoving your hands into your hoodie pockets.

Sunghoon glanced at you, amused. “Then why didn’t you bring gloves?”

“Because I didn’t know it’d be this cold.”

“You say that every year.”

You huffed, nudging him with your shoulder. “And every year, I am caught off guard.”

He rolled his eyes but reached for your sleeve, tugging your arm towards him. Before you could react, he took one of your hands in his, tucking it into the pocket of his jacket along with his own.

The warmth of his palm against yours sent a shiver up your spine— not from the cold, but from something else. 

Something you hadn’t quite named yet.

Neither of you said anything about it. You just kept walkin, the streelights casting soft golden halos around you.

You reached your doorstep too soon. 

Sunghoon stood there, shifting on his feet, his fingers still loosely curled around yours.

You should’ve pulled away. You should’ve said goodnight. But instead, you just stood there staring at him.

The light from the porch illuminated the sharp angles of his face, the way his dark eyes softened when they met yours. His gaze flickered down— just for a second— before he quickly looked away.

You swallowed, suddenly hyper-aware of how close you were. “Are you gonna keep standing there, or—”

“Shut up,” he muttered.

And then—-

He kissed you. 

It was hesitant, barely a whisper of contact. But it sent your heart into a frenzy, your breath hitching, fingers tightening around him without thinking. 

When he pulled away, his ears were red, and he wouldn’t meet your eyes. “I— I wasn’t planning to do that.”

You blinked at him, mind still catching up. “Okay.”

“Okay?”

“Okay,” you repeated, this time smiling.

Sunghoon exhaled, sometimes easing his shoulders.

“You;re still holding my hand.” you pointed out. 

He let go immediately, shoving his hands into his pockets. “Shut up.”

But you could see the way the corners of his lips twitched upwards. 

—

You stare at the screen in front of you, but the words are a blur. The memory lingers, making your chest feel tight.

Sunghoon shifts besides you stretching out his arms. His sleeves push up slightly, revealing the faint outline of veins along his forearms. You look away quickly, annoyed with yourself. 

This is ridiculous.

You don’t care. You don’t.

“Take a break,” he says, voice low.

You exhale, rubbing at your temples. “I’m fine.”

“You’re not.”

You shoot him a glare, but he’s already looking back at his screen, unaffected. Typical. 

Silence settles between you again, but it’s different now. He’s too close, the air between you too charged. 

And then—

“Do you still hate me?”

Your breath catches. The question is quiet, but it feels deafening.

You turn to him, meeting his gaze for the first time in what feels like hours. His eyes are steady, but there’s something else there— something raw, something careful. 

You open your mouth, but no words come out.

He swallows. “ you won’t even look at me.”

You force yourself to scoff, to roll your eyes. “I look at you all the time.”

“Not like before.”

That makes you freeze.

Because he’s right. 

Before— before everything— you had looked at him like he held the universe in his hands. And maybe, in some ways, he had.

But that was then.

And now—

Now you don’t know what to do with this version of him, this version of you.

The air is thick with something you don’t want to name. 

And before you can think better of it, before you can stop yourself—

You kiss him. 

It's reckless, desperate, a collision of past and present, of things left unsaid and things you don’t want to admit.

His lips part slightly in surprise, but he doesn’t pull away. If anything, he leans in, his fingers grazing your jaw, like he’s afraid to break the moment.

And maybe you are too. 

But then—

Reality crashed back in.

Your eyes widen, and you pull away abruptly, breathless, heart hammering.

Sunghoon blinks, still processing, “Wait—”

But you’re already pushing away from the table, standing up too quickly, your chair scraping against the floor.

“I have to go,” you say, voice unsteady.

And before he can stop you, before he can say anything else—

You turn and walk away.

Leaving him sitting there, watching you go.

Again. 

—

Avoidance has always been your best defense.

You mastered it after the breakup, convincing yourself that if you could just stay out of Sunghoon’s orbit, then none of it— none of the pain, none of the unanswered questions, none of him— could touch you.

But ever since that kiss, it’s been impossible to keep up the act.

You stop sitting in your usual spots in the library. You change your walking routes between classes. You leave early to avoid any chance of running into him. Your emails about the project become even shorter, even more detached.

And still— it doesn’t feel like enough

Because the problem isn’t just him.

It’s you.

It’s the way your mind keeps replaying that night in the library, the way your lips still burn with the memory of his, the way your chest aches everytime you think about how you didn’t pull away immediately.

You shouldn’t have let it happen.

You shouldn’t have wanted it to.

But worst of all— you shouldn’t still want it now.

You tell yourself this over and over again. But nine of it matters when you turn the corner one evening, only to find yourself face-to-face with the one person you’ve been trying so hard to avoid. 

Sunghoon.

Waiting for you.

Like he knew.

“You’re avoiding me again,” he says, his voice eerily calm.

You grip your bag tighter and look away. “I’m busy.”

“Liar.”

The word lands heavier than it should.

You take a step back, but he matches it, blocking your way. His eyes search yours, and you can feel how tired he is— tired of the silence, of the pretending, of whatever this is. 

“Do you hate me that much?” His voice is quiet, but there’s an edge to it, something sharp and desperate. 

You exhale hardly. “Sunghoon—”

“Just answer me,” he pressed, jaw clenched. “Do you hate me?”

The words catch in your throat. 

You should say yes. You should give him the finality he seems to be looking for. 

But you can’t. 

And maybe he sees it— maybe he sees the way you falter, the way your fingers tighten around the strap of your bag— because his expression shifts.

And then—

The door beside you suddenly swings open. A group of students spills out, laughing and chatting, shoving past both of you. 

You barely register it before someone crashes into you from behind, sending you stumbling backwards—

Right into the supply closet.

And of course— because the universe must hate you— the force of it slams Sunghoon into the tiny space as well. 

And before either of you can react— click.

The door locks

Silence.

Then—

“You have got to be kidding me,” you hiss. 

Sunghoon tries the handle, but it doesn’t budge. He exhales sharply, resting his forehead against the door for a second before turning back to you. 

“Great.”

You let out a bitter laugh, crossing your arms. “What, you think I planned this?”

“No, but it’s convenient, isn’t it?” He glares at you, frustration bleeding into every word. “You’re always running away, and now you can’t.”

Your pulse spikes. “Excuse me?”

“You heard me,” he mutters. “You left the night. You’ve been avoiding me ever since. You won’t even talk to me—”

“Because there’s nothing to say!” you snap.

“Bullshit!” His voice rises, his patience unraveling. “Don’t act like you don’t care. You kissed me, and then you ran away like it meant nothing.”

You freeze.

Because he’s right.

It wasn’t nothing.

But admitting that? Giving him that satisfaction? You can’t.

So you do what you do best. 

You push back

“You don’t get to act like you’re the victim here, Sunghoon,” you say, voice colder now. “Not when you broke up with me.”

Something flickers across his face.

“And not just that,” you continue, the weight of everything you’ve bottled up finally breaking through. “You left me without any warning. You didn’t talk to me about what was wrong. You didn’t even try. You just decided one day that it was over and that was it.”

—

It had been an ordinary afternoon. You remember it oo well— how he wouldn’t look at you, how his hands trembled slightly as he shoved them into his pockets.

And then—

“I think we should break up.”

The words hit you like a slap.

You laughed at first, thinking it was some sort of joke. But then you saw the way he avoided your gaze. The way his fingers curled into fists.

“Why?” Your voice had cracked. “What happened? Did I do something?”

He had only shaken his head. “It’s just…. I don’t think this is going to work.”

“What—”

“I am not sure I am what you really need.”

It was the last thing you expected to hear.

But it was the only explanation he ever gave you.

That's what started it, why you just started running away from him. 

—

“You thought it wouldn’t work?” you glare at him now, eye burning. “What the hell does that even mean?”

Sunghoon pressed his lips together, like he regretted saying it. But it’s too late.

“You didn’t even give us a chance,” you continue, voice rising. “You just decided that it wasn’t going to work out for the both of us.” 

“I wasn’t sure if I was what you really needed.”

Your breath catches. “Sunghoon—”

“You’re always surrounded by people. You make friends so easily. I wasn’t like that, I am not like that.” His voice is quiet now. “I feel like I was always holding you back.”

You shake your head, feeling something sharp and painful twist in your chest. “That’s what you thought?” You let out another bitter laugh. “You know, I thought that’s what brought us together. That we were so different. That worked because of that.”

Sunghoon looks at you then, something unreadable in his expression. 

“There were two people in our relationship, you and me. You made that decision that we don’t work well, for the both of us.” you say, voice shaking. “And now you think it’s going to work now just because you want it to?”

He doesn’t answer. 

And you hate how much that silence still hurts.

You exhale shakily, turning away. “I don’t trust you., Sunghoon.”

His jaw clenches. “I know.”

“And I don’t trust myself to let this happen again. Because if you could leave that easily once, what makes you think I believe you won’t do it again?”

This time, he doesn’t try to deny it. 

Because he knows.

Because he did leave. 

And you don’t know if you’ll ever be able to forgive him for that. You hated yourself for never being able to hate him at all. 

The only sound in the tiny space is the faint buzz of the overhead light—

And the deafening weight of everything left unsaid. 

The supply closet is cold, but the tension in the air is suffocating. When the door finally swings open, neither of you move right away. Sunghoon steps back first, his jaw clenched, like he’s holding back something he’ll never say. You follow a second later, not looking at him as you walk away.

After that, things are different.

You don’t avoid him anymore. Not really. You still exchange emails about the project, still sit across from each other in the library, still in the same space without outright hostility. But the sharpness between you dulls— replaced by something softer, something sadder. 

One night, long after the library should’ve closed, you look up from your notes to see Sunghoon staring at you. He doesn’t look away this time. Neither do you. For a moment, the world stills. 

Then you blink, and the moment is gone.

—

The project ends.

So does your reason to stay in each other’s orbits.

You expect things to go back to normal, whether normal is supposed to be. You expect distance to creep back in, the silence to settle. 

But somehow, Sunghoon lingers. 

He doesn’t force conversation, doesn’t push. But you catch him in the corners of your vision— watching, waiting, hesitation. As if he’s waiting for you to decide what happens next.

—

Then one evening, you run into him.

It’s late. The air is cold, thick with the scent of winter. Sunghoon is standing outside the campus gates, hands shoved into his pockets, the street lights casting long shadows around him. He notices you before you can turn away.

“Hey,” he says, voice quiet.

You hesitate. Then, “Hey.”

There’s so much unsaid between you, so much left unfinished. 

A part of you wonders— is this it? The last conversation before you both fade from each other’s lives completely?

Sunghoon opens his mouth, like he wants to say something more, but you shake your head, stopping him. 

“It’s okay.” you say. “You don’t have to.”

His throat bobs as he swallows. He nods.

The streetlamps flicker above you. A car passes, its headlights flashing between you like a border, a final dividing line. 

You should say something else. You should tell him you’ll see him around, that you’ll stay in touch, that you’ll find your way back to him someday.

But you don’t.

Instead you step back, offering a small, almost imperceptible smile.

“Take care, okay?”

For a second, you think he won’t respond. But then, finally— softly— he nods.

“You too.”

You turn around first. You don’t look back.

Sunghoon watches you walk away, his hands still in his pockets, his lips parts like he wants to stop you— but he never does.

The night swallows the both of you whole.

And just like that, it’s over. 

—

The city hums in silence in the distance, but here, on the rooftop, it’s quiet/ the two of you sit side by side, legs dangling over the edge, the skyline stretching endlessly before you. The night is warm, the stars barely visible through the glow of streetlights. 

“You’re gonna fall,” Sunghoon murmurs, eyeing the way you lean forwards slightly, hands bracing against the ledge. 

You grin, tilting your head towards him. “You’d catch me.”

He doesn’t answer, but the corner of his mouth twitches, like he wants to smile but won’t let himself.

A soft breeze ruffles his hair. You reach out before you can stop yourself, fingers brushing through the strand, smoothing them down. Sunghoon stills at the touch, but he doesn’t pull away. 

“You do that a lot,” he says after a moment.

“What?” 

“Touch my hair.”

You blink, your hand dropping back to your lap. “Does it bother you?”

He exhales, looking away, down at the glittering streets below. “No.”

That’s all he says. But in the way his fingers clench slightly against his knee, in the way his shoulders stay tense even as the night air cools his skin— you realize something.

Sunghoon likes it.

He likes being close to you.

The thought makes your chest feel warm, something soft and fluttering settling behind your ribs. You don’t say anything about it, don’t tease or push. Instead, you lean back on your palms staring up at the sky. 

“Feels like we could stay here forever,” you murmur.

Sunghoon glances at you, his expression unreadable.

Then, so quietly you almost don’t hear it—

“Yeah.” 

-

author's note: basically everything in here thats inpso from irl with my actaully ex. the water bottle incident but it was in a classroom. us actually having fucking class with each other the next semester. me running away constantly every time i see him now. me buying him a pencil as a present and him still using it (i really want to steal it back). him asking me if i hate him cuz i keep running away and even dragged a friend as i run away from him. him saying "i dont think it's going to work out" and thinking becuase im very outgoing and him being a big introvert was something that would lead to us breaking up, haha but it was just him and him not communicating with me about his feelings. el oh el.

[lainiespicewrites]

Professor Superman

A/N okay this one's a one-shot I've been working on. I'm kinda nervous because I've never written for Clark. Let me know what you think!!

Summary: Reader is a student of Clarks who gets an internship at the Daily Planet. Clark is proud but his feelings take a turn when he realizes Lois is taking her to Gotham for research. He wants to protect her at all costs.

Warnings: Cursing, attempted kidnapping, smut, oral (female receiving) praise kink, Sex P n V, Unprotected sex, Creampie.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I stared blankly for a moment, at the door in front of me. My heart was racing as I tried to will my hand to move. I only had to ask a simple question. Yet, I can not bring myself to know on the door. If I didn’t do this. I would likely fail the assignment and the internship. But the man was so smart and intense. I was too intimidated by him. What if I could not speak and only caused myself to look like a fool? I’d surely lose the internship then. 

I took a deep breath looking down at the paper in my hand. I had to do this. This is important. I looked back at the closed office door in front of me. Tentatively, I reached up and tapped my knuckles lightly against the wood. 

“Come in,” A gentle male voice answered my knock. With a shaky breath, I forced a smile on my face and grabbed the handle opening the door. His eyes shifted from his computer as I took a step into his office. A warm smile spread across his face once he recognized me. 

“Sorry to bother you, Mr. Kent, I’ve finished my paper and I just wanted to ask if you could look over my revisions?” My voice came out quieter than I’d planned. I often had that problem when speaking to him.

“It’s no bother at all, I’ve been expecting you to drop by. Take a seat, I’d be happy to look it over.” He offered, gesturing to the chair in front of him. Professor Kent teaches a Journalism class at the university. He also works full-time for the Daily Planet paper. He’s incredibly intelligent. Each year he considers a few of his students for an internship with the newspaper. But only one of us could earn that position. I really want it. And currently, I’m one of his top candidates. 

I took a seat across from him trying to calm my nerves as I extended the paper out to him. He met my eyes. “You know, Journalism is more than just writing, and telling a captivating story. It’s about doing things that scare you, doing things that make you uncomfortable to chase down what you want to find.” He looked down at my shaky fingers as he slid the paper from my grip. 

“I understand that you’re nervous. But you have no reason to be. You continue to surprise me with just how far you’ll go with each assignment you turn in. If I were to make the final decision…” He paused looking up to make sure the door was closed, so no one would hear. “The internship would be yours,” he smiled. I blushed. 

“Thank you, Professor Kent. That means a lot.” I relaxed a bit as he leaned forward in his chair and started to read through my article. This article is my final piece. And it’s what will be submitted to the Daily Planet as my entry for the internship. I bit my lip awkwardly, trying desperately not to stare at his face as he read. His fingers tapped on the table as he looked up from the desk. 

“Y/n, This is incredible.” He smiled. My cheeks flushed staring down at my hands in my lap. 

“You don’t have to say that,” I stuttered. 

“I don’t,” He agreed, “But it’s true. I’ve only been teaching on campus for about 5 years but I’ve never had a student as dedicated as you. I’m impressed. I think Ms. Lane will be too.” I nodded, giving him a shy smile. “Are you ready to turn this in?” He asked. I nodded letting out a deep breath.

“Yeah, yes. I think so.” I said. He let out a chuckle. 

“Don’t be nervous. It’s great. I’ll take this in, first thing tomorrow.”  He gave me a gentle smile. 

“Thank you, So much. Professor Kent. I appreciate all you help!” I said as I stood to leave his office. 

“Of course,” he paused. His eyes scanned me for a moment. But I was buzzing with too much nervous energy to notice the way they lingered. “And please call me Clark, I have a feeling we’ll be working together before long.” He winked. My heart pounded in my chest and I felt my cheeks heat up.

“Thank you…Clark.” I smiled. He gave me an approving nod before I turned and left his office. 

The next week was agony.  We had two more classes with Professor….Clark, each time I stayed behind to ask if he’d heard anything. And each time he would give me a sympathetic smile and tell me to “hang in there,” just a little while longer. I should hear soon. He assured me that I was a good writer and that I shouldn’t get discouraged. But I couldn’t help it. Now it was almost 5 pm on Friday, surely if they didn’t call soon I wouldn’t know anything until Monday. 

I paced my apartment phone in hand begging it to ring. But when I checked the time at 5:30 and still, nothing. I gave up. I let out a deep sigh, setting my phone down walking to the kitchen to pour a glass of wine. I set the glass on the counter and popped the cork. I filled the glass and almost dropped the bottle. My phone was ringing. I quickly set the bottle down and ran to the living room picking up the phone. I didn’t even check the number before I answered. 

“Hello?” I answered almost out of breath.

“Hello, is this Y/n?” a female voice asked. I nodded but then remembered I was on the phone and quickly found my voice. 

“Yes, Ma’am, it is,” I answered her. She didn’t miss a beat. 

“Great, This is Lois Lane, with the Daily Planet. I understand this is a bit late on a Friday evening but do you have time to meet with me at the office tonight?” my mind raced trying to find the right words.

“Sure, I can be there in 15 minutes. If that’s alright?” I asked her. We agreed on the time and after I thanked her, the call ended.

I very quickly realized I was not in the proper attire for this meeting. I was in running shorts and a hoodie. I tore through my closet trying to find a pair of dress pants that would work. I found a simple white cotton top to pair them with and some flats and ran out the door. I fixed my messy bun in the apartment building's front doors before starting to walk. The Daily Planet’s main office was only a few blocks away.  I got it to the building just in time and made my way inside. 

At the front desk, I introduced myself and was directed up to the 4th floor for my meeting with Lois. I stepped on the elevator and pushed the button for my floor.  I was starting to shake from the nerves. When the doors opened I was met with a familiar face. Standing at a desk a few feet away Clark was standing talking to a woman with auburn hair and kind eyes. They both looked up when the elevator sounded. 

“Y/n,” He smiled. “I’m glad you could make it.” I smiled at him and the woman stood and turned to greet me. 

“Miss Y/n, I’m Lois Lane. It’s nice to meet you.” she offered a kind smile. I shook her hand and she gestured for me to sit with her at her desk. “As you’re aware you and others from Mr. Kent's journalism course at the university have been under review for an internship with the Daily Planet. I would have just called but Clark insisted for you to come into the office.” She chuckled softly. 

I looked up at Clark nervously, he squeezed my shoulder reassuring me. “Y/n,” Lois continued. “The Daily Planet would like to officially offer you the internship starting next week.” I couldn’t help the smile that spread across my face. 

“Thank you, Ms. Lane, I accept that offer. When do I start?” I asked, eagerly. She chuckled softly. 

“I’ll send you an email with all of the details on Monday. You should be able to start with us on Tuesday.” I nodded.  

“Thank you again,” I said. She nodded, giving me a smile. 

“Of course. We’re excited to work with you,” she stood and started to gather her things. “I apologize, I’m not trying to rush you out of here. I’ve got a date this evening I don’t want to be late for. Clark, can you walk her out?” Clark nodded waving to Lois as she already started to head toward the elevator. 

“Of course, I can, sorry for keeping you Lo, have fun tonight.”He winked. Lois rolled her eyes at him.

“Forever the gentleman,” she laughed, “ I’ll see you next week,” she said as the elevator doors closed behind her. 

“I told you we’d be working together soon!” Clark chuckled. I turned to face him but I couldn’t find the words. Without thinking I wrapped my arms around his middle hugging him. He was a bit surprised at first but he returned the hug. 

“Thank you,” I said softly. Remembering myself I pulled away quickly, my face flushed and embarrassed. “I-I’m so sorry, that was incredibly unprofessional. I-” Clark cut off my rambling. 

“It’s alright. You earned this. And you’re going to do amazing things here, I’m sure.” He squeezed my shoulder encouragingly. “Let me walk you out.” I nodded and waited while he got his jacket off of his desk chair. We rode down in the elevator together and walked out through the main lobby. “Where’d you park?” He asked, offering to walk me to my car. 

“Oh, um, I walked actually, I live close by,” I told him. Clark looked out the front doors and watched as rain was coming down outside. He frowned. 

“Could I give you a ride? Call me old school but I certainly can’t let you walk home in this rain.” 

I hesitated for a second. He looked back out at the rain and back to me, his eyes full of sincerity. 

“Uh, I mean, it’s really not far,” I argued. It wasn’t that I didn’t want to. Just that my head was starting to get kindness and flirtation confused. I already embarrassed myself once with him today.

“It’s pouring rain, Y/n, it's no trouble I promise.” He countered. I gazed back outside. He was right, it had started to pour. I would be soaked just stepping out into it. Let alone walking all the way home. I looked back to Clark and nodded. 

“Okay,” I spoke softly. I watched as Clark pushed the door open and then opened up his umbrella. Of course, he was prepared. I look even more foolish now. 

“Come on,” He smiled. “There’s enough space for both of us under here.” He chuckled. He walked us out to his car and opened my door for me holding the umbrella while I got in so I wouldn’t get wet. 

It was quiet for a moment while he started the car. I had to remind myself again that just because a man is being nice doesn’t mean he’s interested. I looked over at him, his head turned back as he pulled out of the parking spot. I don’t know when I’d developed this little crush on him but it had to stop now. God, he was handsome though. His jaw was sharp, but his eyes were a soft but intense blue. His curls were dark and I found I desperately wanted to know what it felt like to drag my fingers through them. I shook my head. No, he’s my professor. He’s at least 15 years older than me. I shouldn’t be thinking about him like that. He surely didn’t see me that way. And we work together now. I have to be professional.

I pushed down my thoughts and focused, directing Clark to my apartment building. He paused abruptly when I pointed out the parking lot. He crooked an eyebrow his face completely surprised. 

“No, this is it? Really?” He asked.

“Uh… yeah” I answered hesitantly. Clark let out an awkward chuckle. 

“I’m sorry, It’s just funny. I live in the building too. I’m on the 5th floor.” He said. My brows raised completely shocked. 

“I’m on 3.” I stuttered. 

“I can’t believe we’ve never run into each other.” He laughed dumbfounded. We got out of the car. Clark met me with the umbrella. We took the elevator up together. 

“Have a great evening,” He started “I’ll see you next week,” He smiled. I blushed softly. 

“You too Clark,” I said as the elevator opened to my floor. 

“Oh and if you ever need a ride to work, Just let me know,” he winked. I giggled softly and waved as the doors closed. 

I’m royally fucked. 

I started with the Daily Planet the following Tuesday. I expected that they would have me refill copy machines or make coffee or file documents in the archives. I was shocked when I was given an assignment. It wasn’t in the field. It wasn’t going to be printed. But they told me if I wanted to eventually work for the planet then seeing how I handled personal assignments was key. It was due to Lois at the end of the week. Only 4 days to do research and write the article. I sat at my desk and poured over everything I could get my hands on. It felt a little lonely. My desk was farther away from the main writers and it was a bit smaller. But it would do. Clark and sometimes a few of the others would offer me to join them for lunch during the week but I usually skipped it. This was important. If I wanted to earn respect and make myself a place around here this had to be good. 

On Friday I was once again working at my desk, typing like mad trying to finish and edit my article. 

“You don’t have to work yourself so hard. You’ve already earned your spot you know?” Clark's voice said from somewhere next to me. 

“How many of your students have been hired on at the Planet after the internship Mr Kent?” I asked. He started to protest the question. Then he let out a deep sigh leaning against my desk. 

“Two,” He answered honestly. 

“I may have the internship, but I haven’t earned my place here.I have your respect but I have to earn it with the others,” I replied. He nodded, his eyes connecting with mine.

“Can you at least break for lunch?” He pleaded. 

“I’m going to eat at my desk. I’m almost finished. And this has to be done and on Lois’ desk by 2 pm. She leaves early today.” His eyes were sad but I knew he understood.  

I finished the article. I waited nervously at my desk waiting for Lois to call me over. 

“This is good,” she said when she finally did. “You have work to do,  I want to see how your research improves when you're out on the field. But for just starting, this is great.” She added. I nodded waiting for more. I knew she wasn’t finished. 

“Next week you’ll be coming with me, I’m doing expose research in Gotham, I want you to come to observe and take notes,” she stated. I nodded again. 

“I’ll be there, Thank…”

“Lois, Gotham’s dangerous you can’t take her with you.” Clark interrupted. Lois peered up at him over my shoulder. 

“Clark,” She sighed. “All due respect. You’ve taught her all you can in the classroom. But I’m her teacher now. And the best way to learn research is out in the field hands-on.” She retorted. 

“I’ll be with Lois, I’ll be okay,” I assured him. He wasn’t having it. 

“She won’t learn anything if she gets hurt. The crime rate in Gotham has skyrocketed it isn’t worth the risk. Does Perry know about this?” He asked. Lois scoffed. 

“As a matter of fact, he does. He’s already approved it.” she told him I don’t know what came over me. If I was angry that he was trying to stop me from going when this was my chance to earn my way in. Or if I was angry he thought I was weak. 

“And, I can take care of myself! I don’t need you hovering like I’m so fragile! You may have taught me but I got myself this far, Mr. Kent. We’ll be just fine.” I snapped. Clark stared dumbfounded. His mouth hung open, he was at a loss for words. Actually, everyone was staring. 

“Shows over,” Lois spoke loudly “You can all get back to work,”  she announced. I looked back at her apologetically. 

“Lois, I..” Clark started. She quickly cut him off. 

“Clark, I have to leave, I don’t have time for this. It’s settled she’s going,” She looked back at me, her eyes softer and sympathetic. “I’m out for the day, and you’ve finished your work, If you’d like to go now your welcome, I’ll see you Monday,”  she smiled. I nodded at her giving her a nervous smile. She turned then and walked out. 

“Y/N, please think about this. I don’t want you to get…”  He started. 

“I’m going to go, as well, Mr. Kent… I’ll see you next week.” I stood and walked to my desk grabbing my things. I walked past him to the elevator without another word.

Monday morning I was in the office early. Lois and I met at the office so she could debrief me before we left. She was interviewing with billionaire Bruce Wayne. He had connections all over Gotham, she wanted intel on any possible underground organized crime. I’ll admit it certainly was intense for my first time in the field. But it would be great practice. 

The city of Gotham was not nearly as wicked as Clark made it out to be. Mr. Wayne was amicable. He didn’t want to be there but he respected us so much as we respected him. The next few days we went back. We checked out some of the sources that Bruce had given. We got closer and closer to what she was looking for. Someone was definitely covering up organized crime in Gotham.  

Late Thursday night we were headed back to the car. It was almost 9:30 way past office hours at this point. But as Lois informed me. Good stories don’t live within the time clock. We were about to drive back and head home for the evening. We were only a few blocks away. I heard Lois scream from behind me. I turned back to look and felt myself being pulled backward. Someone had ahold of my arms dragging me off the sidewalk. 

“Let me go!” I demanded. Struggling in the stranger's grip. “Lois!” I called. 

“Shut up, what the hell are you bitches doing here?” a male voice asked. I heard Lois cry for help. I continued to struggle. 

“I’m not telling you anything. Let go of me. Someone HELP.” I screamed. Unable to break loose from the man’s hold. 

“Listen bitch! I told you to…Ungh”  The man grunted he fell back suddenly my arms slipping from his grip. I looked up my eyes going wide. Superman. He’d heard our screams. 

I watched as he took care of Lois’ attacker breaking her free. He spoke softly to her. His face looked almost…stern. She looked at him her eyes deeply apologetic. I couldn't hear what was being said. He patted her shoulder giving her a soft smile after she assured him she was okay. That I did here. 

“And you, are you okay?” He was on his feet now. He landed right in front of me. My eyes met his. They looked so familiar. I nodded. 

“You… saved me. I.. I don’t know how to thank you.” I stuttered. He smiled 

“It’s what I do. I’m just thankful I made it before you were hurt. Now please get home safe.” He added. I nodded still in shock. I felt Lois squeeze my shoulder and we walked back to the car. Superman hovered close watching to make sure we made it. Once we were inside he flew off. 

“Do you… know him?” I asked Lois suddenly. She paused looking at me. 

“We’ve met before. This job can be, dangerous at times. Can you handle that?” She asked. I thought for a moment. Could I? I couldn’t get myself out of this situation. But I didn’t back down either. Finally, I nodded. 

“Yes, I can,” I answered. 

“Good, now let's get home. We both could use some rest.” 

In the office the next day I was typing notes for Lois. I was back and forth at her desk all day. At one point I paused looking over at Clark. He looked exhausted. And stressed. He looked slightly disheveled. He was aggressively tapping at the keys on his keyboard. 

I approached him slowly. 

“Hey, are you alright, you look tired I can get you some coffee if you’d like,” I offered. He shook his head not looking away from his computer. 

“I’m fine Y/n, thank you.” he dismissed me. 

“Oh.. okay, if you need anything let me know,” I added before walking away. Normally I skipped lunch but I had time that day. I walked over to ask Clark to come with me. Again he dismissed me. I felt bad for the way I had treated him last week. I just wanted to make sure everything was okay between us. I stayed late that night typing up notes for Lois. When I shut down my computer, I noticed Clark was the only one still in the office. 

“Clark,” I spoke softly “It’s 5:30  do you need help?” I asked. He shut down his computer then.

“No, I’m just heading out now. Thank you for the offer.” He mumbled. I nodded. I turned and walked to the elevator. I rode down by myself to the first floor letting Clark cool off. If he didn’t want to talk I would give him his space. I walked out through the lobby pausing just inside the doors. Shit. It was raining again. I decided to walk this morning. It wasn’t supposed to rain. I heard the elevator ding and I groaned to myself seeing Clark exit. I gnawed at my lip anxiously, Praying the rain would suddenly let up.

“Hey,” I hear Clark's voice behind me. “Need a ride?” he asked nodding toward the door. 

“Uh… yeah, I walked this morning. Didn’t bring my umbrella. It wasn’t supposed to rain today.”  I answered awkwardly.  Clark opened the door opening his umbrella and just like the first time he took me home, we walked close sharing the protection from the rain. 

The ride home was quiet it was only a few blocks away. But when Clark pulled into the parking lot I could no longer take the silence. 

“Clark. What’s wrong?” I asked. He shook his head. “Don’t, don’t brush me off, what’s bothering you?” He got out of the car, slammed his door shut, and headed inside. I got out quickly running after him the rain immediately soaking me.  “Hey, I was talking to you!” I shouted. 

“Y/n STOP!” He turned around quickly the volume of his voice causing me to shrink back a little. “You wanna know what's bothering me? You. You, putting yourself in harm's way. You, trying so hard to prove yourself that you're being reckless. You almost got hurt because you had to make a point. You, because I can’t stop fucking thinking about you! And I’ve lost sleep all week worrying about your safety.” He stepped closer we were standing in the middle of the parking lot. “Because I couldn't bear the thought of someone even touching you.” my heart was racing his face was inches from mine. I could feel his breath on my face. “I don’t wanna see any bruises on this pretty face.” My breath hitched. 

“Clark,” I whispered. He grabbed my face crashing his lips to mine. I melted against him. The rain still fell hard around us. 

“Your so damn stubborn,” He mumbled between kisses. I wrapped my arms around his neck pulling him closer. 

“I’m sorry,” I said, breathless as I chased his lips for another kiss. He let out a breathy laugh. 

“Don’t be. You’re doing amazing. I knew you would be. Just be more careful.” I nodded. He took my hand pulling me inside. He pressed the elevator button frantically. I giggled. 

“Clark that’s not gonna make it get here any faster.” He chuckled. 

“Damn elevators.” Once inside he pushed the button for his floor and backed me up against the wall. His lips were back on mine, kissing me roughly. “Wanted this for so long.” He groaned. Kissing down my neck. The elevator doors opened. He took my hand again leading me to his apartment. 

He quickly unlocked the door and I followed him inside. I bit my lip waiting for him to make a move. I felt so shy all of a sudden. I wanted this but I was nervous. Clark lifted my chin so my eyes met his. 

“Stop me. If this isn’t what you want stop me, sweetheart. I don’t want to hurt you.” I shook my head. 

“I want you Clark,” I whispered. His lips were on mine again. Sweeter this time. More slow. He felt his hand move down my neck and over my chest softly squeezing my breast. I moaned leaning into the touch. “Clark please,” I whined. He stepped back peeling off his wet shirt. I did the same. We left a trail of wet clothes all the way to the bedroom. Clark laid me down on the bed crawling between my thighs. Kissing them softly. 

“So beautiful.” He groaned before swiping his tongue between my folds. I gasped. He circled my clit with his tongue and then back down dipping it inside me. His groan was feral. 

“Fuck.” I moaned. He worked his tongue in and out of me while I worked my hips against his face. I tangled my fingers in his curls holding him close. His nose rubbed against my clit has he fucked me with his tongue. “m’  gonna.”  I moaned as I came on his tongue. He lapped it all up before pulling away. 

“So good sweetheart.” He kissed up my body, kissing my lips and letting me taste myself. Finally he settled between legs pushing inside of me slowly. He let out a low moan. 

“ So big,” I whimpered. He brushed my hair out of my face kissing me softly. 

“Doing so good for me sweetheart. Almost all the way in. You can take it all baby.” He moaned. With one last push he was fully seated inside me. “You feel amazing baby. Taking me so well.” He cooed letting me adjust. 

“Clark please.” I whined. Begging him to move. He pulled out slowly, until just the tip was inside me and then plunged back in. I let out a loud moan. 

“Feel good sweetheart?” He asked. I nodded. 

“So good, Clark, Fuck, I moaned as he started to thrust into me at a steady pace. He grabbed my hand pinning it to the mattress. He picked up his pace. I felt the knot build in my stomach. 

“You’re getting close aren’t you baby?” he asked. I nodded. Letting out a strangled moan. 

“Please.” I begged. 

“So polite.” he groaned. He pressed his thumb to my clit as he fucked me rubbing in circles. I felt my toes curl and I came hard squeezing him as he fucked me through my orgasm. “Thats it sweetheart. Fuck. Gonna make me. Ungh.” He groaned cumming inside me. We were both breathless laying there for a moment. Clark pulled out slowly. And pulled me into him.

“You okay?” He smiled kissing my cheek. I nodded. 

“Mhmm” I mumbled dreamily. Clark got up and came back with a cloth to clean us both up. Then got back into bed holding me close. 

“Clark?” I asked softly. 

“Hmm?” he hummed. 

“Were you ever gonna tell me… or were you just gonna let me figure it out?” He raised an eyebrow. 

“What do you mean?” he asked. 

“Because no one else knows what happened in Gotham Superman,”  I smirked turning in his arms. 

“How did you…?” He asked. 

“I’ve had a crush on you for a while. I’d know your eyes anywhere.” I said blushing. 

“Hmm,” he chuckled. “You have a crush on me?” He asked. 

“Shut up,” I rolled my eyes.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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[devdozes]

♥ I've got my eye on you.

[a/n- first x reader so give me a break] phainon being a lovesick puppy nd pathetic loser (derogatory and affectionately)

The city hummed with life as neon lights flickered against the rain-dampened pavement. Cars honked in the distance, their headlights painting streaks of gold across the wet streets. Somewhere, a street musician strummed a slow tune on his guitar, the melody drifting through the cold night air.

You adjusted your bag, stepping out of the small bookstore where you'd spent the last hour browsing. The air smelled of petrichor and fresh coffee from a shop nearby. Just as you were about to leave, a familiar voice called out.

"Leaving so soon?"

You turned to see him—Phainon. Tall, effortlessly elegant, with silver hair that caught the glow of a streetlamp above him. He stood by the café’s entrance, hands tucked into the pockets of his dark coat. A teasing smile played on his lips, the kind that always made it difficult to tell if he was being sincere or simply enjoying the game.

"You were watching me again, weren’t you?" you asked, raising an eyebrow.

Phainon chuckled, stepping closer. "Not watching—observing. You have a habit of tilting your head when you're lost in thought. It's quite charming."

You rolled your eyes, but the warmth in your chest betrayed you. "Do you just lurk around bookstores at night hoping to find me?"

"Maybe." His voice was smooth, carrying that effortless confidence that always made your heart race. "Or maybe I just happen to enjoy late-night walks. The city is... different at this hour. Quieter. More honest."

His gaze met yours then, piercing yet soft, like he could see right through you. It was unfair, really, how easily he could unsettle you without even trying.

"...And what do you plan to do with this quiet honesty of the city?" you asked, trying to match his teasing tone.

Phainon tilted his head slightly, as if considering his answer. Then, with a small smirk, he reached out and tapped your forehead lightly with his knuckles. "Spend it with you, of course."

You let out a breathy laugh, shaking your head. "Smooth talker."

"Only for you," he said, and this time, there was no teasing lilt to his voice—just quiet sincerity.

The rain had started up again, tiny droplets misting the air between you. He took a step back and extended a hand. "Come on. Let’s walk. Unless you’d rather stand here getting drenched?" "I think you would be more affected by me refusing to walk with you than me getting drenched in the rain" . . . "So is that a no? :(" Phainon says in an almost squeaky voice while looking at you with pleading eyes, his cerulean eyes looking down at you like the ocean water when the sunlight hits the water. Okay no what the fuck. You suddenly shake your head to remove the thoughts from your brain. Get your ass fucking together. Not even god knows what I'd do to this man if I allow myself to indulge in him, you internally scream as you feel your ears heat up, luckily not being visible to Mr. Samoyed here otherwise he would tease the everliving shit out of you. You exhaled, composing yourself, before finally sighing. “Fine. But only because I don’t want to deal with you sulking all night.”

Phainon grinned, victorious. “A wise choice.”

The two of you fell into step, walking side by side down the glistening streets. The rhythmic tap of raindrops against the pavement filled the silence between you, punctuated only by the occasional whoosh of a car passing by...The peaceful silence was then interrupted when the silver-haired opened his mouth and uttered a few words which left you frozen yet gasping for air internally. "Are you a thief? Because you stole my heart. Now please give it back." . . . "What the sigma" "That was a good one. And what does sigma mean?" You look at him with the corner of your eyes in a judgemental manner, leaving a literal wet puppy beside you after seeing your reaction, and then starts to pout dramatically hoping for your attention and love for him. He reminds me of the soap opera male leads, well, except he really isn't much of an asshole compared to THOSE male leads you see in soap operas-- The total red flags. Your steps faltered for a split second. As Phainon let out a low laugh, clearly reveling in your reaction. “See? Even now, you’re trying so hard not to react. But I can practically see the gears turning in your head.” You groaned, shoving his arm lightly. “I will leave you in the rain.”

“Ah, but then you’d miss out on the best part of the night,” he mused, stopping in front of a motorcycle parked just off the curb. The sleek black frame glistened under the dim glow of a streetlamp.

You blinked. “You brought your bike?”

Phainon smirked, fishing the spare helmet from the seat. “What kind of gentleman would I be if I let you walk home in the rain?”

You crossed your arms. “Oh, so now you’re a gentleman?”

“Only when it suits me.” He twirled the helmet once before offering it to you. “Come on. You’ll love it.”

You eyed the bike warily. “Have you ever crashed before?”

Phainon gasped in mock offense. “How dare you doubt my skills?”

You deadpanned. “That’s not a no.”

He laughed. “Alright, alright. I promise you’ll make it home in one piece.” Then, with a teasing tilt of his head, he added, “Though if you’re too scared to hold onto me, I totally understand.”

Oh, this bastard.

You snatched the helmet from his hands and put it on. “Shut up and drive, Mr. Samoyed.”

Phainon grinned, clearly enjoying himself, as he swung a leg over the bike. “Whatever you say.”

With a deep breath, you climbed on behind him, hesitating for only a second before wrapping your arms around his waist. The warmth of his body seeped through his coat, and you tried really hard not to think about how solid he felt under your grip.

Phainon hummed in approval. “See? Not so bad.”

“Just drive before I change my mind,” you muttered.

He chuckled. “Hold on tight.”

And then—the bike roared to life.

The city blurred past in streaks of neon as Phainon wove effortlessly through the streets. The wind rushed against you, cool and exhilarating, and despite yourself, you felt a thrill run through your veins.

Phainon’s voice carried through the wind. “Admit it. You’re having fun.”

You tightened your grip slightly. “…Maybe.”

He let out a victorious laugh, and in that moment, with the city lights reflecting in his silver hair and the night stretching endlessly ahead—you allowed yourself to indulge.

Just for a little while.

[moonstruckme]

Hi lovely Mae, I hope you're doing well! Could you please write a drabble with poly!jily where they deal with reader who has a social anxiety and after a busy day or a social event or something she's sick of making small talk and just wants to cuddle up with her partners? No worries if not! Love you mwah <3

Thanks for requesting angel! Hope you're doing well too <3

cw: social anxiety/burnout

poly!Jily x fem!reader ♡ 626 words

You come home feeling raw, worn down to nothing. You want to go into a dark, quiet room and never emerge. But there are two people you need to see first. 

“Angel!” James cheers as you come in and take your shoes off. “How was dinner?” 

He’s sitting with Lily on the couch. She looks happy to see you, but when you wordlessly hold your arms out and walk towards them her expression bends with sympathy. 

“Oh.” James extends his arms for you, folding you into a hug. “Not very good, then?” 

“No,” you mumble into his jumper, “I think it went okay. It was just a lot.” 

Lily makes a soft sound of understanding. They both know you were half dreading your plans tonight, a good friend’s birthday dinner where unfortunately she was the only person you’d know there. You spent the whole time sipping your water to avoid talking and trying not to seem awkward when you couldn’t avoid it. 

Lily’s fingers slip underneath your scarf, cool against your neck as she tugs it off gently. “Was everyone nice?” she asks. 

“Yeah. I’m just afraid I embarrassed myself.” Self-conscious tears prickle at the back of your throat. “I can’t think about it anymore, honestly.” 

“That’s okay,” she says. “I’m sure you didn’t embarrass yourself, lovely. Can I see your hand? You’re going to be sweltering in a minute here.” 

You pass her one hand and then the other, allowing her to pull your gloves off for you. 

“I’m sure everyone there loved you,” says James, rubbing your back while Lily pulls your hat from your head. Her nails scratch lightly at your scalp as she combs her fingers through your roots, smoothing out the frizzies it left behind. “Know how I know?” 

Between both of their touches, you’re starting to relax. “How?” 

“Because,” James whispers like it’s a secret, “Lily loves you. That means everyone must. She’s very picky.” 

“What?” your girlfriend exclaims while you laugh into James’ jumper. “I am not.” 

“It took me years, angel,” James tells you. “Years. But she snatched you up in under a fortnight. Given that, I really don’t see how anyone else could possibly resist you.” 

“I am not that picky.” 

“Oh,” says James, “so what you’re saying is, you’d drop either one of us for someone new in ten seconds flat?” 

You turn your head to peek, and Lily’s narrowed her eyes at him. “Careful,” you murmur. “She might do it to prove a point.” 

She lets out a short, appalled laugh. “You two are so awful!”

“Awful enough to be rid of?” James asks, but when she makes to walk away he leans forward and tugs her back onto the couch with you. 

Lily looks happy to be tugged. She lands in a heap next to James, her glare playful as she meets your eyes. “I hope all these jokes at my expense are making you feel better.” 

You know she’s teasing, but you go soft nonetheless, reaching for her hand and intertwining your fingers. “I’m sorry,” you say, earnest. “Love you.” 

Lily melts, and James gives your middle an affectionate squeeze. “I love you too, sweetheart,” she says. “Do you want to talk about dinner?” 

You let your head lay upon James’ shoulder, looking at her sideways. “Not really. I’m too tired.” 

James starts rubbing your back again, fondness emanating from his touch like a pleasant ache. “Is there anything we can do, then?” 

You hum. “This?” 

Lily’s lips tilt in a bemused sort of smile. “Just this?” 

“Yeah,” you sigh. You melt against James’ front, your fingers in Lily’s grasp. “This is nice.” 

A warm chuckle rumbles through James’ chest. He presses a kiss to your hair. “I think we can manage that.” 

[missadangel]

The Heart of Rome (Marcus Acacius x OC)

All Chapters List

X. The Conflict (+18, Smut, MDNI)

“non est vivere sed valere vita est.”

Life is more than just being alive.

The distance from the city to the port of Ostia was not great, but the ride was rather lengthy and tiring, even for a seasoned rider. Octavius was ever watchful, noting when you were faltering and offering you a respite. You declined, though your body was crying out for it. Your sole concern was to reach Marcus before it was too late. Fortunately, a little later, Octavius noticed a few tracks on the ground as you passed through the dark woods, slowed down and dismounted his horse. He crouched down and examined the tracks then looked at you.

"We should continue on foot from this point onwards, my lady."

"Are we close?" You looked around but there was nothing in sight.

"Indeed. We must proceed with caution and avoid attracting attention. We need to leave the horses here," he said, holding the reins of his horse as he approached you and extended his hand.

"Thank you sir but I can dismount myself." You said and got down from your horse, despite the soreness in your legs. It felt nice to be able to step on the ground again. Unio let out a soft neigh, as if she had read your thoughts. You stroked her face and, grasping her reins, walked in the direction Octavius had said. It was quite some distance from the road and not very visible. In this darkness of the night, it would have been difficult to see anything if not for the moonlight anyway.

Once you had tied your horses, you set off through the forest, guided by Octavius. You eventually reached a hill. It appeared to be a rather tranquil. The only sound that could be heard was the hooting of an owl.

“My lady, if I might ask you to consider promising me something,” Octavius said.

You raised your eyebrows. “What is it?”

"If we don't make it in time, you'll come back to the villa with me."

“No need to worry about that now, if we make it in time, Sir Octavius.”

He sighed. “I'm pretty sure Acacius will kill me this time,” he muttered.

You looked at him with a hint of guilt. “I'm sorry, but you're doing this for him, for your General, your friend.”

"I hope he's already taken care of him and I hope we've came here for nothing. I'd be really happy to be reprimanded and even punched by him."

You laughed nervously. "Would it offend you if I said I hope so too, sir?"

He grinned. "Never, my lady."

"You are a good friend, Octavius.

"Always at your service.”

You were startled by the sound of a horse neighing and immediately sought cover behind nearby bushes. You observed that three horses were tethered in the forest.

"That's Dromos," you realized.

"We must be close," Octavius said quietly.

You soon heard the sound of swords clashing in the distance and moved at a slow pace towards it. When you saw Marcus from behind, you were on the verge of running to him without thinking, but Octavius grabbed you by the shoulder and pulled you back.

“We can't let them see us,” he said, warning you.

He led you to move out of sight to the left, where you hid in the bushes. You observed the situation at a distance and noticed that Marcus cut a soldier with his sword made him collapsed to the ground. However he was alone, probably having lost his men. Macrinus, on the other hand, was standing just behind the five soldiers.

“General, you must cease this nonsense. You'll get yourself killed.”

“Not before I take your life first!”

Your heart was racing with worry. Even for Marcus, who was one against five men, survival was a near impossibility. Octavius stepped in front of you as you stood up.

“My lady, please wait here, I will back him up," he whispered, his hand moving to his sword.

Just then, you heard horse hooves and three horsemen appeared, coming towards them from ahead. Macrinus let out a laugh. Octavius swallowed and looked at his General, unsure of what to do.

At the time you thought you had to stop it somehow, knowing the fact that Marcus won't stand much of a chance. It seemed that he had no intention of retreating though. Furthermore, he assumed a defensive stance, grasping his sword more firmly.

You reached out to grasp Octavius' arm as he began to step towards them.

"I must stop them."

Octavius opened his eyes wide. "But how, my lady? No, return to your horse now, and-"

"No, please hear me out. I don't believe Macrinus will harm me. And Marcus won't let him go no matter what. Besides even with your help, you can't beat all of them. This is the only way.”

Octavius seemed unsure. "What makes you so sure that he won't harm you?’

“Think about it. He has known me for quite some time.” You observed them from behind the bushes. It seemed as though Marcus was contemplating an attack. “If he wanted to kill me he would have done it when we were alone, but instead he made me appear before the council, why do you think?”

"To help you regain your title and gain formal recognition."

'Well, it wasn't out of the goodness of his heart, of course. I believe that when he ascends to the throne, he thinks it would be beneficial for him to have a strong consort that he values in his council." Your voice cracked.

Octavius clenched his jaw. “There is no stronger consort than a princess,” he muttered. Then opened his eyes wide. “If he kills the General-“ he swallowed, words caught in his throat.

“I won't let that happen. So step aside and let me stop them.”

Octavius nodded in despair. "If things don't go well, I'll be here to ensure your safety and that of the General. I'll do my utmost until my last breath.”

You nodded and took a deep breath, moving slowly through the bushes. Just then all five men and the others drew their swords making a schwing sound echoing through the woods.

"General, this is my final warning. It is not possible for you to survive this." Macrinus called out to him.

Marcus was aware that, regardless of his considerable strength as a warrior, it would be extremely challenging to fight against such a large number of soldiers. But retreat was not an option for him. He had to take Macrinus down and make sure his head was severed from his body, no matter what. If he could do that, he didn't mind facing his own death in the end. He was only afraid of being separated from you; he had no other fears at all. He was truly grateful for all those beautiful moments he shared with you. Getting ready for a confrontation, he pointed his sword at the soldier charging towards him. Just as he was about to attack, you suddenly jumped in between them, yelling.

“Stop!"

With determination, you swiftly drew your knife from its sheath on your ankle, holding it firmly in one hand as you prepared to execute your seemingly absurd plan. Marcus opened his eyes wide, looked at you in surprise, and then glanced around.

"Aurelia! What the hell are you doing here?" He yelled.

"My lady!" Macrinus was shocked too. Keeping his distance, moving towards you behind the soldiers, equally bewildered.

"End this, please." You said without looking at either of them.

"Go back, now!" Marcus shouted, knowing full well who had brought you here.

"I'm not going anywhere without you," you protested.

"I have to finish what I started. Now, go!” He hissed.

He brandished his sword at Macrinus's men once more, determined not to back down. You, however, had no intention of letting him get himself killed. With no other option, you put your knife against your neck. Marcus looked back at you, astounded. As your eyes met, Macrinus, as you had suspected, grew concerned and approached you.

“That knife looks pretty dangerous, my lady. I think you should give that to me.”

“Stay back!” You shouted at him, “Don't come any closer!”

“Are you mad? What do you think you're doing?” Marcus roared. He was boiling with anger.

"I'm a medicus, aren't I? I know exactly how and where I should cut to kill myself without suffering."

Marcus clenched his jaw.

"Do you wish to kill yourself, my lady?" Macrinus asked.

You looked at him, feeling the sharp surface of the knife, it made you tense but forced yourself to stay calm. Also, it seemed like a good opportunity to see if your theory was correct.

“You don't want me to die, do you, Sir Macrinus?’

He raised his hand as if he wants to stop you. “No, of course not, my lady. Please put that knife down.” He looked at Marcus. “Acacius, I think we're done here.”

Marcus looked at him with a piercing gaze. “This isn't over, Macrinus.”

He laughed, then his gaze hardened as he looked at him. “You'd better be on the right side when the inevitable happens, General, if you care enough for your wife.”

“If not today, rest assured that I will end you.” Marcus growled.

“It would only be to your detriment,” he said, his eyes shifting to you before he nodded and turned. He tapped one of his soldiers on the shoulder. “Sheath your swords! We're heading for the harbour!” He jumped on his horse and the soldiers followed him behind.

Marcus turned his head towards you and came up to you angrily, snatching your knife and pulling so hard that you stumbled towards him.

"Why did you come here? How dare you hold a knife to your throat?" he barked. His voice was loud enough to make you startle. "I didn't give you this to cut yourself! Don't you value your own life at all?"

"You're the one who doesn't value your own life!" You shouted back. Marcus frowned. "What's the matter with you? Do you think it's worth risking your life trying to kill him? You know how it feels when you lose someone you care about. How can you be so selfish? Have you ever thought about what I'd do if you died? You're so mean.”

As your tears rolled down your cheeks, Marcus' expression softened. He approached you, took your face in his hands and gently wiped your tears away with his thumbs. His dark brown eyes spoke volumes, but he was so angry that he remained silent. After staring at you for a while, he pulled his hands back and looked towards the bushes.

"Octavius! I know you're in there, get over here now!"

The bushes rustled and crunched loudly. As soon as Octavius set foot on the dirt road, you noticed the tension on his face despite the darkness. He came up to you and bowed his head to the General. Marcus gripped him by his leather armour in his fist and pulled roughly.

“Since when have you begun to disobey my orders?”

“Forgive me, sir. I was wrong.”

“I forced him, Marcus,” you interjected.

He ignored you. “I told you to protect her, you shouldn't have cared about what she said to you. You should have stopped her, Even if it meant locking her up or tying her up, it would have been better to do so.”

You laughed hysterically. “You can't be serious.”

He turned towards you. “I'm quite serious, my lady. Instead of risking your life in such a ridiculous way, you would be safe."

You rolled your eyes. "I wasn't really intending to kill myself. I just wanted to be sure of Macrinus' intentions, but you were so determined to sacrifice yourself without listening to me, so I didn't know what else I could do.”

“We'll talk about it when we return home,” he said, pointing his index finger at you. Then he turned and approached his soldiers lying lifeless on the ground, sorrow evident in his eyes. “Octavius, make sure the funeral rituals for our brothers shall be arranged.”

“Yes, sir.” He approached him, kneeling next to a soldier and closing his eyelids.

From a distance, you watched them and found yourself blaming yourself. Perhaps if you had arrived sooner, you could have played a role in saving their lives. Or, if you had come later, Marcus might have faced a similar fate. You shook your head and tried to put these thoughts out of your mind.

While Octavius tended to the deceased soldiers, you and Marcus returned to the villa on horseback. It was just after midnight. The vast majority of the villa's residents were awake and gathered in the courtyard, awaiting your return. Marcus remained silent all the way back, likely still enraged at you. You were no different. It was torture to think that you had nearly lost him because of Macrinus.

Cato respectfully took hold of the reins of Marcus' horse as he jumped down. You dismounted too, noting that your legs felt a little sore from the long ride. As soon as you landed on the ground, you felt a momentary loss of balance, but Marcus' arm caught you. You smiled at him. Even though he was angry; he was still there to protect you. However, he did not smile back. Instead, he took hold of your wrist and pulled you towards the courtyard.  Furthermore, he was not as gentle as he usually was. He did not care when you moaned from the pain in your wrist. He took a quick glance at everyone in the courtyard who greeted you and pulled you towards the stairs. When you turned your head, you saw their faces. They seemed grateful for the safe return of their Dominus, but perhaps a little worried about you. At least, that was your interpretation, because you knew you were in trouble.

He shut the door behind you. You were glad when he released your wrist, as it started to throb. You knew it would be bruised by the next day. Marcus put his holster away while you rubbed your wrist with your other hand. You went over to help him remove his armour. He was aware of your intentions and leaned against the edge of his desk with his arms folded. There was blood splattered on the Medusa's face and on the leather strips of the armour. You gave Marcus a direct look as you undid the armour's threads. He was still frowning and staring ahead. He still seemed to refuse to look at you as you undid the other side.

“You know you're not the only one who's angry, right?”

He then turned his head to you as your fingers unraveled the threads a little harder.

“You can't be any angrier than I am.” He took off his armour.

You crossed your arms, “Why not, I can be just as angry as you.” You lifted your head and looked away stubbornly.

Marcus was trying not to laugh at your behaviour. He pressed his lips together and cleared his throat.

“No way, princess. I'm more than angry; I'm fuming!”

You looked at him as he walked towards you. His gaze certainly showed his anger, but when you noticed the hint of mischief at the corner of his lips, you decided to continue playing this game. He was removing his armbands.

“Fuming? Hah! I'm furious!” you shouted sarcastically.

He threw the armbands on the floor and came right in front of you. This time his gaze was intense.

“I'm filled with wrath!” he growled.

You involuntarily took a step backwards. “So?” 

He appeared to be relishing the opportunity to engage in this somewhat heated, sexual tension-filled game, as he took a few steps towards you.

Suddenly, your back slammed on the wall. He lifted your wrists above your head and leaned in.

"I think you deserve some punishment," he murmured, his breath caressing your ears and causing your body to shudder. He pressed his pelvis against yours and his lips found the vein on your neck. He sucked and nibbled at it, sending a tingling sensation throughout your body. His lips trailed from your neck to your chin, and you found yourself longing to touch them.

You took a sharp intake of breath. He teased your lips with a slight touch before retreating. You leaned forward, aiming for his lips, but you failed. He smirked. His right hand roughly removes your cloak and undresses you, while his left hand keeps a strong hold on your wrists. Your dress fell to the floor, pooling around your feet as the hem caught on the scabbard tied around your ankle. Marcus bent down, untied it and pulled it off. Suddenly, he grabbed you by the legs and threw you over his shoulder. Before you could blink, you were on the bed, gasping for breath. Your stomach tightened with excitement when he emerged from above you.

But he still hadn't taken off his tunic, you thought angrily.

It seemed a bit unfair that you were the only one who was naked. He pushed you back gently when you reached towards him. "Not yet, princess." His hot breath hit your breasts, making you squirm. You were infuriated when he roughly spread your legs with the palm of his hand. Was he going to enter you before your lips met and traveled over each other's body, before his hands caressed your breasts? That's what he called punishment?

You bit your lower lip as you felt his strong fingers on your most sensitive spot. But his fingers lingered, moving in circles. You wanted to sit up and look at him, but he pushed you backwards with his other hand. After teasing your clit with his fingers, which made you clench the sheet, he grabbed your hips and buried his head between your legs. He deliberately blows into your folds, making pleasure run through your body. His erection sears your skin, making you aware that he's getting pleasure from driving you mad with his mouth. He flips his tongue and sucks your most sensitive area hungrily, relentlessly. You moan loudly and your response encourages him to increase the pressure. He is an expert in the art of pleasure giving and he uses you as skilfully as he uses his sword.

“Marcus,” you groaned, you're almost sure that your voice echoing in every corner of the villa. Feeling almost at the edge. You feel him smiling as he moves his lips and touches your body with his warm tongue and fingers. But he retreats suddenly. You moan in protest. You open your eyes to look at him. Panting. You feel a surge of disappointment and a distinct sense of being used. But he laughs cruelly. He wipes your sweet liquid from his lips with his thumb, then licks and sucks the tip, smiling crookedly all the while.

You frown. “So that was your punishment?”

“I was actually going to do more, but…" He quickly takes off his tunic, throwing it on the floor. “I missed you so much and I want you so badly right now.”

“Take me then.” You smiled naughtily.

He smiles back and grabs your arm, using his soldier strength, he turns you and bends you over until you're crouching on your knees. One of his hands is still holding yours behind your back, and the other keeps your torso down so your breasts press against the silk sheet. You wriggle, and his grip tightens. Gods! You haven’t ever felt so helpless. Used like a toy. He keeps teasing your lower wet lips with the tip of his erection. His voice is husky, sensual. “How will I take you, my sweet princess?”

He digs his fingers deep into the cheeks of your butt. This position feels raw, animalistic but pleasantly erotic at the same time. “Shall I take you this way?” he asks without stopping his hungry attack. His warm breath, and beard tickles your ear, and waves of hot pleasure wash through your skin. As though your body is a toy, he forcibly turns you again, and now your under him once more. One hand holds you immobile by your throat. The other grabs your hip. "Or this way?" he says as his now-soaked tip presses against your entrance, bringing shudders and ecstasy into your squirming body. You moan loudly, pressing his lips to yours roughly, silencing you.

He’s taken full control of your body and won’t share it with you. He’ll take you in any way he wants. And, yet, because your body is yearning for him, you can’t bring yourself to ask him to stop, this was a huge turn-on for you. "Marcus," you whimpered. "Please, I want to be yours. Take me now. Pretty, pretty, please." You begged.

He smiled and let you wrap your arms around his neck and pull him to you. He was as impatient as you were, but he was determined to keep this fun and heated game going. He was having fun rubbing his lips against yours and making you whimper a little more. For him, there was no comparison to watching you squirm to be his.  But he couldn't wait to be inside you, and when he finally pushed his length inside your walls, entered you roughly, your body trembled with pleasure. You felt euphoric when his mouth finally met yours. You enjoy him kissing you with incredible hunger until you forget to breathe. With each rough thrust, you instinctively dug your fingers into his back which made him lose it, deepening the kiss, turning it into a carnal mating of mouths. He bit your lower lip, and you moaned with both pain and pleasure. He released his bruising grip, the hard press of his lips, and rolled onto his back, taking you with him. He seems a little worried, but when you giggle at him, he grins and buries his head between your breasts, licking your sternum all the way to your neck. He grabs you by the waist and spins you around, your back hitting his chest. He kisses your shoulder, nuzzles his nose into your hair and finds your ear.

“I want to take you this way.” His hot breath hits your ear as he caresses his way up your neck, making you shiver.

He practically has to arrange your limbs himself as he folds you forward onto your hands and knees and settles behind you. He wrapped his arms around your torso, entering you from behind, and you moved together, as one, never once breaking your intimate connection. When he increased his rhythm, one hand gathered your hair on one side of your neck. His lips traveled from your neck to your exposed shoulder, while his other hand wrapped around your waist. This position made you feel his length much deeper inside you. Your mewl-like moans were added to his and harmonized with the slick sound of each thrust. it sounded like your own special music. Marcus' hands slid under your arms to your breasts and cupped them. You threw your head back in pleasure, bumping into his shoulder as he kissed your neck repeatedly. With his forehead and brows covered in sweat, he sensed that the end was near and his hands gripped your hips tightly, deepening his thrusts and reaching his climax at the same time as you. You instinctively leaned forward as he filled you with his warm liquid, but he caught you and wrapped his arms around you tightly. He groaned loudly and his hot breath washed over your ear. You felt his nose on your cheekbone. His hand cupped your chin, turned your face to his and kissed you passionately. As you wrapped your arms around his neck and turned towards him, he pulled out of you and pressed his forehead to yours, both of you panting. Your eyes were closed, savouring the moment as the sweat mingled on your forehead and ran down your cheeks. You opened your eyes as Marcus placed a kiss on the tip of your nose.

He brushed back a few strands of hair that stuck to your forehead, also caught in your eyelashes. You looked into his eyes and looked at him.You spoke with your eyes for a while, then he frowned. He took your face in his hands, his expression serious. You were unaware that you were crying until his thumbs wiped away your tears from your cheeks. He bent his head and kissed your eyelids and long eyelashes. You nuzzled your head into his neck and he wrapped his arms around you. You couldn't stop your sobs and tears. All the emotions you felt seemed to take over your body at once.

His fingers ran through your hair. “My love. From now on, I won't risk my life easily,” he said in a velvety tone. “So please don't cry.”

You nodded and sniffled. Marcus kissed the top of your head and pulled you down with him onto the bed. You snuggled into his chest, realising how much you missed him even though it had only been a few days. It was late at night and the only sound in the room was the two of you breathing.

“I guess this has become a habit for me,” Marcus broke the silence.

You raised your head and looked at him. You ran your eyes over the sparse beard on his chin, greying in places.

"I've always lived my life like this, always fighting, battling, killing. It's the easiest thing I can do." His fingers traced the curve of your spine. “I was never afraid, not of death, not of losing. I just fought. It was easy because I had nothing to lose. That night, when I was poisoned, I knew it was time for my eternal rest. I felt relieved, not afraid, but ready.”

You swallowed, thinking about that night for the first time in a long while.

"But then I saw those eyes and they gave me the purpose to carry on living." He tenderly touched your cheek with the back of his hand. You raised your head to meet his gaze. He was already looking at you.

“Now I have a responsibility,” he smiled. “My weakness.” He bent his head and stroked yours with his nose. “A beautiful reason for me to die for.” His lips ran through your forehead. "Dying for Rome is easy, simple. But for you, my lady, it's hard, painful. The thought of never seeing you again.” He exhaled deeply. “It puts me in agony.” He frowned. “Just when I saw you put that knife to your neck so recklessly. It was painful too. I'm still angry with you for that.”

You propped yourself up on your elbow to look at him. "I feel the same way, Marcus. I can't even begin to tell you how much it hurts me to think of losing you. I couldn't sit idly by while you risk your life. I'd never be able to bear to lose you." Even the thought of it made you shudder.

He sighed and turned his head towards you. “You won't lose me. There is nothing more important to me in this life than you. How whole and at peace I feel when I hold you in my arms when I'm deep inside you. The reason is you, princess. The reason I wake up every morning with a smile. The reason I am eager to return home from my duties. To you. So I don't want you to do one more thing to put yourself in danger.”

You kissed his chest. You wanted to say more but his words were so beautiful, you couldn't object. You felt tired from the horse journey so you snuggled closer to him. Before he wrapped his arm around you, he covered you both with the sheet. You were finally about to get the peaceful sleep you had been longing for for days. In his arms.

When you woke up in the morning, the sun was high in the sky, but it wasn't its light that woke you up. Instead, it was the gentle caresses you felt on your legs that roused you. Your hand moved to the side of the bed to feel the sheets, but Marcus wasn't there. You opened your eyes when the caresses on your legs were replaced by nibbles. Was he under the sheet? Your eyes opened wide when you saw Marcus's face, smirking at you from between your legs.

“Morning, princess.” His boyish and mischievous grin spread all over his face. “May I?”

“What are you- Ow!” You gasped when you felt his tongue on your most sensitive area.

Expertly, he was licking, biting, sucking, giving you incredible pleasure this early in the morning. You had now discovered all the men inside his enormous body. The honourable man, the dominant leader, the fearless warrior, the poet, the loving husband, the romantic gentleman, the expert lover full of lust, the child inside the fourth year old man.

You smiled when the lustful expert lover has taken you to the sky full of pleasure. It's empowering to know that it was you who drove a powerful, dominating, strong beast like him mad. As you descend from the sky, he settles on top of you, placing kisses from your legs to your belly and then to your breasts and chin. He kisses your eyelids and asks you to look at him without telling you. Now that you know him so well, you immediately obey. Since you are already so ready for him, he enters you easily. He wraps his arms around you, you throw your hands back and clench the sheets. Your body curves backwards and he speeds up his thrusts. You try to suppress the urge to close your eyes tightly. He realises and finds a new solution for you and presses his forehead to yours. You smile when your eyelashes touch. But then, when he gets closer to the edge, also gets deeper into you and increases the pace tremendously, he buries his head in your collarbone. You wrap your arms tightly around his neck. And once again, you ascend to the sky. This time, you feel immense pleasure. You feel a few bites on your neck. You look at him, your eyes alight with wonder, and marvel at the beauty of the man that is coming undone inside you. He tightens his arms around your waist and moans as he reaches his climax. His body collapses on top of yours, his arms loosening. It's so beautiful to watch him as you feel his heated breath on your neck. To feel his heart thudding violently against his chest, the way your bodies connected. You both savour the glorious, euphoric feeling of being in love. Your breathing returns to ease, you feel him soften inside you and he lies down beside you, pulling you into his arms.

"Do you have any duties today?" you ask as you run your fingers over his chest.

"Yes, first I have to meet with my legates, then I have to go to the barracks. I believe there may be someone spying for Macrinus. It would be beneficial to find him before he returns to Rome."

"Didn't you say you'd already found him?"

"No, he was Julia's." His voice was sharp. You were sure he killed him. It must have been very hard for him though, a soldier from his own troops spying for someone else. After a moment or two of silence, you asked him to change the subject.

"Am I forgiven?"

“I’m thinking about it.”

You sat up in bed, intending to study his face, but suddenly a feeling of nausea hit you and you fell back. Your neck hit his shoulder.

“Oh…" You put your hand to your head. Your vision was blurred, closed your eyelids.

“My love. Are you alright?" There was concern in his voice. He sat up in bed and wrapped his arms around you.

You opened your eyes and smiled at his worried face. “My head is spinning a bit.”

“It's almost noon. You've been sleeping for a while.”

“Noon?" You hadn't realised it had been that long. You were usually up early, woken by the rooster. Perhaps it was because you hadn't slept well for a few days without him.  Maybe it was because you hadn't slept properly in his absence for days. "But did you wake up first and await me?"

"That is correct, but then I became somewhat impatient if you remember." he winked.

You smiled shyly. He graciously kissed the top of your head. “My lady, I believe that you may be hungry, are you not?"

You yawned and nodded. “Indeed I am. I must admit that I am rather famished after my longest horse journey.”

He laughed. "I'll tell them to prepare a lunch for us. I must then take my leave.”

Once Marcus had departed from the villa, you wanted to check on the girls. Norell and Decima were sitting together in the courtyard, weaving rugs. You stood nearby, observing them. Decima was from Egypt, so she was used to weaving and her hands were moving with practiced ease. She mentioned about it before.

"My lady, would you care to try?" Decima asked.

"It looks very intricate," you hesitated.

Tullia came into the courtyard with a laundry basket. She made a slight gesture of respect with her head as she caught sight of you. You observed that she was walking with a slight limp. She seemed to be in pain.

“Tullia, your leg seems to be bothering you."

She put the basket down and let out a sigh. “My knees, my lady. I guess it's because I'm too old now.”

"Let me take a look," you said gently, walking over to her. Despite her objection, you helped her sit down in the chair and examined her knees. Given her late fifties age, you diagnosed her with rheumatism, given her late fifties age.

"I think I know what will be good for you," you said, walking to your private clinic-like room. Tullia's eyes widened when you returned with the hemlock jar.

“Isn't this herb poisonous?”

You smiled. “Yes, and potentially deadly.” You teased her.

“Gods, my lady, please forgive me if I've made a mistake.” She placed her hand on her chest.

“Please calm yourself, Tullia. It is indeed a very poisonous plant. However, it is also very useful to the body. I'll make you a tea of this, you drink it every other day, understood?’"

She was still looking at you weirdly.

You laughed. “You do trust me, do you not?”

She nodded.  "I am grateful to you, my lady, for ensuring General's safe return to his home. So, I have great trust in you.”

You smiled. ”I imagine you must have known him for quite some time.”

"That's correct. I've been fortunate to reside in this villa for as long as I can remember."

"I see. Then you knew Marcus's father, the Dominus'?"

"Yes, my lady.”

She had been with him for many years, residing in this villa. She had likely witnessed his childhood, his youth, his unhappy marriage, everything. You felt a bit envious of her, as though she knew more about him than you know about Marcus. But you were also grateful for her loyalty over the years.

“It's the first time I've seen him alive,” she said, surprising you.

“How do you mean?” You demanded.

"Dominus. He would prefer us not to call him that, not after his father. I must say that after you came into his life, I felt like I didn't know him.  He was rather solemn, and it was rare to see him smile. But now I see that he's really alive. It's so pleasant to see him like that. I'm really grateful for that, my lady."

You put a hand on her shoulder. "And I'm grateful that you have cared for him over the years, that you have served him, that you have looked after him."

She put her hand on yours. "It is my duty," she said, smiling softly.

“Domina!"

You both turned your heads to the slave who came running towards you.

“My Lady, the Imperial guard has arrived.”

You inhaled. "Am I being summoned?"

The slave looked at you with hesitation and bowed his head, which meant affirmative. Decima came to stand beside you. "Shall I come with you?"

You grasped her hand. “Yes, please.”

It was your brother Geta who summoned you this time. You weren't particularly curious, but you felt it would be a good idea to pay him a visit. You couldn't help but feel a little concerned about him, though. Besides, it seemed like a good idea to stop by the poorhouse on the way back. You were keen to find out how the children are doing, since you missed them. By the time the imperial carriage arrived at Palatine Hill, it was already late afternoon. You came to realise that you didn't miss wearing stola much since it was difficult to get used to the feeling of being tangled in their feet. And the knife Marcus gave you wasn't helping at all. It seemed a little odd to wear it on your ankle when you couldn't actually use it properly, but you had promised him after all. Geta was waiting for you in the great courtyard. When he realised you, he came running to you with a wide smile, his arms outstretched.

"Aurelia, you've been missed, sister!" He embraced you. You flinch every time he does this, but he deliberately ignores it.

"I'm really curious to know why you called me here."

"Come, let's talk while we drink. Shall we?" He led you to an armchair in the courtyard. You sat down next to him, and adjusted your dress to cover the knife on your leg.

"Wine," Geta ordered the slaves.

One of the slaves poured you a glass of wine. Decima was standing right next to you.

"So, you ordered the guards to send food to the Poorhouse," Geta said, taking a sip of his wine.

You brought your glass to your lips, but the smell was unappealing, so you put it on the table, and pushed it forward with your fingers.

"I did. Or, are you angry with me for this?"

Geta laughed. "I can't possibly be angry with you. However, I believe this is an unnecessary expense."

You glared at him. "Surely it's not as unnecessary as a tiger?"

"At least the tiger entertains us, sister. What is so interesting about those people? Nothing. I have not yet informed Caracalla of this, so you'd better end it before he becomes aware of it."

You leaned towards him. "You are not fully aware of the gravity of the situation, so you speak with undue levity. Would you be willing to abandon those children to their fate?”

He exhaled loudly. He pretended not to care, but he was thinking.

"If you'd like, I can show you. Caracalla doesn't need to know. Trust me, it's a lot cheaper than what you spend on other unnecessary things.”

"No way I'm going there!"

You sighed and stood up. "You do as you wish," you said, with a hint of sarcasm. "I was just considering paying a visit there." You glanced at him, took a step forward. He stood up too, grabbing your arm from behind.

"You've only just arrived, stay a little longer." He sounded like he was begging. He was looking at you in a strange way, you averted your gaze.

"I'm a married woman, I have responsibilities. And those children are one of them." You looked at him again. "As Emperor, you have responsibilities as well. They are your people too. You could come with me and see for yourself. If you are not convinced, I will not bring it up again. I promise."

He thought for a moment, then nodded. “Alright, you win. I'm coming with you.”

He stepped towards to the entrance, but you stopped him by tugging on his arm. "Perhaps you might like to consider changing your attire?" You asked, running your eyes over his fancy toga.

"What's in my attire?" He looked down at himself.

"Well. Your bronze crown, your gold embroidered toga, your gold bracelets, necklaces, and rings, need I say more?’

"Or do you want me to dress like a commoner? Never!" He frowned.

You rolled your eyes at him. It was futile to try to persuade this stubborn boy. So, you gave up. "Very well, as you wish, Your Majesty.”

His frown vanished and he smirked.

As you made your way across the courtyard towards the gate, you became aware of a few murmurs and turned your head in that direction. A group of people were heading into the great hall. Their attire differed from that of the members of the Senate.

"I had completely forgotten they were coming today," he said.

'Is there an official meeting with Caracalla?'

“Our relatives,” he murmured.

You regarded him with a look of surprise. “You were correct in your assumption,” he said, observing them from a distance. “The execution of Gaius has caused some distress within the dynasty in Leptis Magna. They have come here to speak with the emperor.”

"And what about you? You are the emperor as well."

He shrugged slightly. "It doesn't matter. I'm sure he will make a decision similar to the one I would have made."

"Which is...?"

Geta's face suddenly became serious. Without answering, he pulled you towards the gates roughly. But you clearly heard the sounds of screaming and shouting coming from the hall. You felt a shiver run down your spine.

“Did he murder them?” Your voice cracked.

He grabbed your shoulders and pushed you into the carriage. "They killed themselves at the very moment they set foot in Rome, Aurelia.”

It seemed that Decima was attempting to sit next to you, but he indicated the seat opposite. He then sat right next to you. You couldn't focus on them staring at each other, the screams still echoing in your ears, and continued to torture you all the way. All this brutality felt so wrong.

When you arrived at the Poorhouse, the children noticed you and ran towards you with huge, beaming smiles on their faces, gathering around you with cheerful laughter.

“Princess Aurelia!”

You smiled at them. They then looked curiously at your emperor brother, who was standing behind you. The guards approached Geta, looking a little wary. Geta covered his nose with his hand. With a somewhat displeased expression on his face he extended his arm towards them as if warning them.

“Don't you dare come near me!” He yelled.

“They're just children,” you muttered.

“But, they're filthy,” he grimaced.

You rolled your eyes and went over to the boy you had met earlier. It seemed that the mother and baby were doing better. You asked Decima to bring your bag and, as Medicus, you examined the woman and her breast milk, which was now coming in. Geta observed you as you treated a few wounded and sick people. He maintained his distance, of course. Since these people had only seen his face from a great distance before, their jaws were dropped open when he appeared before them in all his majesty.

The provisions have been brought as you requested. But it didn't seem to be enough to feed these people, yet they were happy and grateful.

"I should also provide some new clothes for them," you said, approaching Geta.

He folded his arms and looked them up and down. His expression had become somewhat more gentle, as though he was lost in thought. He seemed to be deeply affected by the unfortunate situation he had witnessed.

"You were right after all," he murmured. "They really do look rather poorly."

You looked at him. "Your Majesty, you have decided to extend a helping hand to these people?"

He locked eyes with you for a moment, his expression hard to decipher, but he seemed happy. Then he cleared his throat. "I would never allow them to pollute the streets of Rome." He turned to one of the guards. "Do as Princess Aurelia says. Make sure you provide what is needed here. And if you dare to speak to my brother about this, I will have your tongue cut out myself.”

The guard bowed his head. “Yes, Your Highness.”

You smiled at him. “Thank you, brother. I believe there may be some good in you after all."

He frowned. "I'm not sure if that's meant as an insult or a compliment."

“Perhaps both.” You stuck your tongue out at him and laughed. You were just trying to make him laugh and your intentions were innocent. But he wasn't laughing. In fact, he was looking at you seriously in a way you'd never seen him before.

"Don't laugh at me like that." His voice was sharper than his gaze. “As if you don't belong to someone else.”

You swallowed, his eyes looking at you with a dangerous intensity. You averted your eyes.

“My lady,” Decima came to your side. She was holding a bowl, without even turning your head, you could smell what was in it. The smell of meat was intense. You felt like your stomach was cramping.

“Hot, freshly prepared food has arrived, the children are eating. Would you like to have some too?”

Instinctively you covered your nose with your hand. "No, Decima, could you keep that bowl away from me?"

"Ah, it seems we have some things in common after all. I think it looks disgusting too." Geta said with a displeased expression. "Well, I think I've seen enough, I want to leave now." He turned towards the carriage.

He raised his hand and beckoning you to join him. As it was nearing dusk, you were keen to return home, so you nodded in agreement. However, as you began to walk towards him, your vision blurred, and your feet betrayed you, causing you to collapse on the ground. When your cheek touched the cold cobblestone, you felt a severe headache. Then everything went black. The last thing you remember was Decima and Geta's concerned voices mixed together with the voices of children.

You felt slight shaking of your body, which prompted you to wake up. Your headache was still present, opened your eyes slowly. The first thing you saw were the golden curtains glimmering by moonlight, which entered through the long window. Next to the window was an armchair with golden details. It seemed as though everything in the room had a golden hue. You realized that you had been in this room before. You were beginning to regain consciousness. You then sat up.

"Sister, I hope you are feeling a little better?"

You opened your eyes wide and looked at Geta, who was lying next to you. On the bed. His bed. You let out a scream in shock. He flinched.

"WHAT THE HELL AM I DOING HERE?” You quickly checked yourself over. Your clothes had been took off, and you were wearing a white, almost see-through tunic that didn't just belong to you. “What happened to my clothes?” You yelled.

Geta covered his ears with his hands. “Ugh! Could you please stop screaming? You're hurting my ears!”

“What have you done to me?”

He laughed loudly and hysterically. "Apart from making you clean up and bring it to my room? What was I supposed to do? You collapsed on that awful, stinking street. Should I have let you stay in your filthy clothes? It was gross, so I had them thrown away."

The slaves must have dressed you, at least that was a relief. But you were still very angry that you had been put in this embarrassing situation. You realised that his eyes were roaming over you. You grabbed the sheet and pulled it up to your neck, covering your body.

“Get me some decent clothes now!” Your voice was slightly trembling with anxiety.

Geta raised his eyebrows, he pointed his index finger at himself. “Did you actually say that to me? You have no manners at all. You don't know how to talk to an emperor.” He teased.

You moaned in response, placed your head in your hands and rested on your knees.

“Please, call Decima over here.”

"I want to know why you fainted. Tell me, are you sick?"

He touched your shoulder, you pulled yourself back and got out of bed. It is almost nighttime now. The mere thought of Marcus coming to Domus Severiana and seeing you like this made you shiver.

"Girl!" Geta yelled towards the door.

Decima and Geta's slave entered the room together, both looking at you with concern.

"Make sure you dress the princess properly. Otherwise she'll be torturing my ears with her squeaky voice all night." He said, squinting at you.

You ignored him. When the girl left the room to bring you a stola, Decima came over and held your hands.

"Are you alright? You frightened me.”

"I'm fine, but we should return to the villa now."

‘"Indeed, you've been unconscious for a while, it's almost midnight."

"Midnight?" You bit your lip.

Now that was something to worry about. You were sure Marcus would be here soon. Luckily the slave girl came with a stola and began to dress you. You heard footsteps and then a knock on the door.

Geta was still sitting on the bed, wine in his hand. With his permission, a slave boy who came in looked scared. “Your Highness, my lady. General Acacius-“

“Aurelia!”

Marcus's booming voice made you feel like you were on the verge of fainting again.

Geta grinned. "This is going to be fun."

You warned him as he was leaving the room. "Please don't say anything ridiculous to him.”

He shrugged. With your heart beating like it was going to burst out of your chest, you urged the girls to hurry up. Geta left the room. You tensed up even more when you heard him calling his name. Finally, the girls finished dressing you as quickly as they could, and you left the room, heading for the stairs with Decima who was trying to catch up with you. As you descended the stairs, you saw him and locked eyes with Marcus. He observed you with a keen gaze. You bit your bottom lip. He then looked at the stairs that belonged to Geta's chamber, then at Geta himself. Suddenly he grabbed Geta's collar with his fists, causing everyone to become tense.

"Have you gone mad Acacius? What do you think you're doing?” Geta barked.

“Marcus!” You ran towards them.

The guards drew their swords.

“What have you done to my wife?” He roared.

“Get your hands off me now!” Geta warned.

“Marcus, please, it's not what you think.” You grabbed his big hands and tried to pull them away from your brother's collar, but it was like moving a marble statue.

“You don't seem to be taking good care of your wife like you promised.”

Marcus tightened his grip and shook him angrily. “What are you saying?”

The guards approached the two of them, their swords pointed at Marcus.

“General Acacius, I warn you.” One of the guards said.

Marcus ignored him, his dark eyes locked on Geta’s.

“Your wife fainted in the middle of the street. I wonder if you were aware that she's been sick.’’

Marcus then withdrew his hands, released him. You exhaled in relief. Geta ordered the guards to put their swords away.

Marcus stepped towards you. "Is that true?" He sounded concerned, touching your face with his hands.

You grasped his hand. "I felt unwell for a moment, but I'm fine now."

Marcus observed your face a little more. Then put his arm around you and glared at Geta. "We shall take our leave now."

Geta shouted behind you two. "You're not even going to ask for my forgiveness, Acacius?"

Marcus answered without looking at him. "With all my heart, no."

You turned your head and looked over your shoulder at Geta. He looked angry and annoyed. You gave him a faint smile.

"Your Highness, shall we stop him?" One of the guards gripped his sword once more.

"Just give us the order, Your Highness."

"Shut the hell up! Leave me alone, all of you! Get out of my sight!" He shouted at them and walked towards his chamber. Caracalla watched the whole thing from a distance, he was looking at his brother coming up.

"You're so pathetic." Caracalla chastised.

"Don't you start!" Geta barked at him, walked towards his room, and slammed the door.

It was well after midnight by the time you arrived back at the villa. Marcus still seemed a little tense, which made you wonder what he was thinking. He was looking at your ankle as you walked to your room. He stopped in front of the door.

“I do not see your knife.”

You looked at him, you had no clue.

“Here, sir,” Decima said. She came up the stairs and stood beside you. She was holding your scabbard in her hand. She handed it to you. “After you fainted-“ She avoided Marcus's stern gaze, turning her eyes to you. “I'm the one who dressed you so I kept this.”

“Thank you, Decima.”

She smiled. “If you'll excuse me, sir, my lady,” she bowed and turned to head for the stairs.

Marcus closed the door behind you. He placed his hands on your shoulders and guided you to sit on the bed, then sat down next to you.

"My love. Are you sure you're feeling well?" His hands touching all over your face.

How can I possibly feel bad when you touch me like this? You thought.

"I suppose I do not need to bring a Medicus for you?” He smirked. “So, what is your diagnosis, lady medicus?”

You smiled. “Hmm, I think I became a little nervous when I-“ You swallowed.

“Continue, please.”

"Caracalla. He had our relatives from Leptis Magna killed. I didn't see them, but I heard them…”

Marcus frowned, clenched his hand into a fist and pressed it to his forehead. He then closed his eyes. “That scum. He must be out of his mind for sure.”

You put your hand on his shoulder. "How do you mean?”

He then stood up. You went over him, untying the strings of his armour.

"Macrinus. He has a majority in the Senate. He managed to eliminate Gaius and his supporters. Caracalla is his instrument. It is likely that he will announce him Commander of the Praetorian (Imperial) Guards imminently. I should have killed him last night." He banged his fist on his desk, almost startling you.

You took a deep breath. “Then why did he go to Libya?” You helped him take off his armour.

"I believe there is a possibility that he is raising his own army. I haven't heard from the legions in that area for some time now."

"His own army?" You shocked. You hadn't realised how serious things were.

"If my suspicions are correct, yes. He also would want to incorporate the southern legions into his own as well."

"Your legions?"

“I'm afraid so.” He turned his head towards you. "I may have to go there soon."

You cringed and your chest hurt. You weren't expecting this at all.

Marcus realised the look on your face and put his arms around you. "I'll have to kill him sooner or later. And them too." His voice was sharp.

Surely you were aware of whom he was referring to.

“I will not waste another generation of young men on their arrogance and vanity. I will not allow Macrinus to use your brothers' trust and start a civil war that will harm Rome.”

“Caracalla, yes, but maybe Geta-“ the words seemed to stick in your throat.

"Are you defending him to me?"

"Absolutely not." You shook your head. "I was just thinking he might make a good emperor.”

"Please Aurelia. I assume you're not meant seriously.”

"He's not like Caracalla. I believe you are aware of that. I don't think you are truly inclined to kill him."

"I was considering it. When I saw you coming out of his chamber..." He pursed his lips, trying to be calm.

You tensed as you remembered that moment. "I'm truly sorry about that." You bowed your head. Marcus placed his hand under your chin and gently lifted your face to look at your eyes.

"He didn't touch you, did he?" His brown eyes were almost black.

"No, Marcus. Of course not."

He grabbed your face in his big hands, pulled you towards him, you stumbled with the sudden rush of his. "I am the only one who can touch you. You are my Aurelia. Mine."

"I am indeed, Marcus.”

"Say it," he demanded. "Say that you're mine. I want to hear it from your lips."

"I am yours." You said softly.

He smirked and bent his head, kissing you roughly almost forcefully. His skillful hands were not gentle while undressing you in a hurry. When you were completely naked, he scooped you up and put you on the bed. In the blink of an eye he was on top of you and then inside you. While he’s having you roughly, his lips, his tongue, his teeth travelled over every possible part of your flesh. Marking you. As if physically claiming you. Making you his.

The sun had just risen when you opened your eyes. But it wasn't its light that woke you. It was the sudden pain in your stomach and the feeling like you'd been punched. You gasped and covered your mouth with your hand, attempting to suppress the urge to vomit. You hurried out of Marcus' arms and ran to the latrina. He was roused from his slumber by the sound of the door closing with a resounding bang.

“Aurelia?”

You were too distracted by feeling unwell to focus on his concerned voice. You splashed water on your face to feel better after violently throwing up. Suddenly you felt Marcus's hands on your shoulders. “My love?”

Your stomach was still causing you pain and you found it difficult to speak. Also, your head was spinning, so you took a moment to lean against the wall. Marcus quickly took you into his arms and carried you to the bed, sitting next to you.

“My lady, I'm really starting to worry now.”

“No, please don't. If I get some rest, I'll be fine.”

“Are you sure?” He took your hand in his hands.

You nodded and smiled at him. But his face showed concern.

“Perhaps I could stay here with you today.”

Just then, there was a knock on the door and Cato came in with Marcus's permission. He gave you both a nod. “Sir, I am here to inform you that the soldiers you have been expecting from the south have entered the city at dawn. The Legates have requested an immediate assembly.”

"Is that so? At last, some good news." He said, then looked at you with uncertain eyes.

You smiled at him and touched his hand with yours. "Please do not concern yourself with my well-being. Just leave. It must be important."

He leaned towards you and kissed you on the forehead. "Have a good rest, my love. And please be well." He kissed your hand before leaving the room with Cato.

After a while there was a knock on the door again. Decima brought breakfast for you.

"My lady, are you feeling better?"

"I believe so."

She approached your bedside. "Would you like me to feed you?”

You laughed. “Dear, please. Hopefully I'm not in a situation that requires me to be fed." You got out of bed and walked towards to the chair. You weren't exactly starving, but you knew you needed to eat to feel strong. You asked Decima to join you.

"My lady, well I am. I've been thinking it over.”

“Hmm?”

"This nausea you're feeling, the headaches. I wonder if...’ When she looked at you suggestively, you swallowed and looked at her, taken aback.

You'd never thought of that. As a medicus, you were confident that you didn't have any other underlying health issues. On top of that, it had been a few weeks since the wedding and you hadn't had any monthly bleeding since then.

"Gods," you murmured. "Could it really be?”

Decima took your hands, seemed excited. "I think so. Have you ever examined a woman carrying a child?"

"No, I've only assisted women in labour. I know how to run a consultation though. But it's still too early to be certain."

Decima smiled widely. "I hope you're with child."

You couldn't help smiling back. "I hope that too. But we should keep this between us for now."

"Indeed, of course.”

“Domina!” came a voice from behind the door.

“Come in.”

The slave boy from yesterday came in, his face was worried again.

“Am I being summoned again? Please tell them I'm sick and having rest.”

"You're not being summoned, my lady.”

“What's the matter, then?”

He bowed his head, as if he didn't know what to say.

“Tell me.” You demanded.

“If you can come down, you'd better see for yourself.”

You exchanged glances with Decima, then got up and left the room. As you were making your way down the stairs, you almost lost your footing when you saw the person standing in the courtyard.

“Lady Domna?”

Julia was waiting by the fountain in a black cloak. She looked a bit worried and uneasy.

"May I ask what you're doing here?"

"We need to talk." She said in a commanding tone.

You suddenly felt tense as you remembered your last conversation with her. What the hell was she doing here?

'Do you usually keep your guests waiting without offering them a seat?'

You rolled your eyes and gestured to the armchair nearby. “Have a seat.”

She sat down in a rather arrogant manner. “Leave us,” she told your slaves. But they were looking at you. Julia was annoyed.

You sat opposite her. “Leave us alone please," you said the slaves with a smile. They then bowed their heads and left the courtyard. Decima too, she nodded.

"Your slaves don't know how to behave." She muttered.

"Could you please tell me why are you here? I thought you were in Syria?"

"I've recently returned. Never mind that. I need you to help me with something."

"My help? Why should I help you?"

"Because I believe you would want to.”

You crossed your arms. "What are you talking about? Speak clearly, please."

Julia sighed. Then leaned closer to you with a sharp gaze, whispering. "I need you to help me kill Caracalla.”

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[popcornpoppypop]

Salvation

Summary: Jack needs you like air, but he's too wounded to keep himself from breaking everything.

A/N: I don't really know what this is, but it just sort of came out and I went with it. Just using broken characters to deal with my own breaking or something like that I guess. No warnings outside of heartbreak. Also, I was listening to Waiting Room by Phoebe Bridgers while writing this, so strap the hell in!

The ache never really leaves. It’s always gnawing at him. His leg throbs most of the day. He’s learned to ignore it. He’s learned to let it fuel him at times. The pain can motivate him at the end of a long day, push him forward just enough to finish his job. Lately, the ache has extended to his chest. It snakes it’s way up his body and wraps itself around his heart.

He knew that he was a broken man. Not just his leg, though it was a physical sign of what lay in his mind. A broken mind that pecked at him day in and day out. He fought himself every day.

If you were heaven, he was purgatory. He would never dream of saddling you with him and his damage. You fought with his mind as much as he did. He tried to hide the shame of it all. You could see him in a way no one ever had, ever would.

You didn’t flinch when it became too much for him and he exploded, shrapnel flying your way. You would take the wound, clean yourself and him up. Never shied from the pain.

“Jack, I’m not scared of you.” You whispered one night as he screamed, the pain overflowing like lava from his lips.

“I am! I’m so fucking scared!” He screeched, his hands tugging at his grey locks. He could never tell if the things he did were to keep himself together or tear himself apart. They felt like the same thing.

You wrapped yourself around him, keeping what you could intact. You held his face in your hands, it was red and the veins pushing harshly against his skin.

He saw his salvation in your eyes. The thing about salvation is that it isn’t always a guarantee.  

The ache radiated as he walked into the dark house. The quiet hung heavy in the air, a choking fog that floated throughout.

The only thing he could think about lately was the night you had enough. The night his salvation was denied by his own self-damnation.

“Don’t say that to me! Don’t act like I’m not sacrificing things here too!” Your tears fell down your cheeks; each one was a plea and a prayer.

“You are better than sacrificing anything for me! You’re stupid if you stay! Goddammit!” The venom left his mouth and stung his lips but he couldn’t swallow it back up. It hit you like a ton of bricks.

“Oh. Well.” Your voice shook and it reminded him of the first time he saw a child cry for their mother that wouldn’t open her eyes again.

“You’ll never understand this pain. I don’t know why you fucking try.” He dug the knife deeper. He never could tell if he was trying to keep himself together or tear himself apart.

“I’m done trying. I’m done, Jack. I can’t….I can’t do this to myself anymore.” You let the sob fall from your chest and smash his world apart.

The house felt sterile and haunted. He moved through it, never caring what was broken or battered. His body fell into the couch, his muscles screaming in relief. His mind still raced and pounded at him. He took the prosthetic off his leg, the ache easing from his wound but tightening in his chest.

He fiddled with his phone. The thought to reach out to you, try and find a lifeline, try and stay afloat, toyed with him. He didn’t realize he had dialed your number until your voice broke through his icy wall of self-hatred.

“Jack? Jack, are you okay?” Your voice was still so sweet. Still so soft and kind, like a balm for his depressed mind.

“I…I can’t breathe.” He mumbled.

“What do you mean?” Your voice getting worried, unsure how to help. Always wanting to save him.

“You were my oxygen and I held my breath.” He let his chest crack open a bit.

“Jack…I don’t know how to do this.” You were never one to lie to him. Your honesty kept him from raging against the world. But it didn’t stop the sadness from destroying everything good.

“I know. I don’t either. I just…I see a therapist now. I tell him about you. I tell him how I ruined everything, hurt you when you were trying to keep me alive.” His chest cracks more.

“Jack. Why did you call me? To tell me you’re in therapy?” Your sadness turning to rage for what he took from you.

“I’ve been trying to fix everything. I’ve been doing everything I’m supposed to but none of it fucking matters because you aren’t here. I…I don’t know why I called.” His breath leaves him like defeat.

The silence clings to him, tightening around his throat and making him see stars.

“Jack…if I hang up will you be safe?” Your voice is small and afraid of the answer. He squeezes his eyes shut and beats the edge of the phone into his forehead.

“Yeah, don’t worry about me. I shouldn’t have called. I’m sorry. I miss you is all.” He leaves one last chance at your feet.

“I…I miss you.” You whisper, as if the words would ignite the world and never stop.

He feels his lungs ache for breath and realizes he stopped breathing as your words settled into his mind and put out a small fire.

“Can I see you?” He reaches out a little more. His chest is wide open, his beating heart vulnerable and waiting to be stabbed.

“We can start small. Coffee, tomorrow, at the café you liked near your place. With the park next door.” You grab hold of him, lifting him off the edge.

“Okay. Yeah. Small.”  It’s huge. It’s massive. It’s salvation.

[ariahmichelle]

Fake It Till You Feel It- Part 8

Rafe Cameron x Reader Series

Series Masterlist here

Summary: You see your ex with a new girl wrapped around him after he told you “wasn’t ready for a relationship” after you had slowly started to fall for him. The betrayal stings. Rafe Cameron is dealing with his own issue—Amelia, a girl who refuses to take the hint that he’s not interested. One night you impulsively pretend to be Rafe’s girlfriend to get her to back off. To your surprise, it works. You also notice Alex looking pissed. This starts to become an unspoken routine between you when either Alex or Amelia are around. Simple right? However, longer this goes on, the more the lines blur between what’s real and what’s not.

Part 8- Sunsets and Stolen Kisses

••••••••••••••••••••• •••••••••••••••••••••••

Ever since your conversation with Rafe outside the country club, things between you had changed. It wasn’t sudden, but it was steady—an unspoken shift that had you seeing each other more, seeking each other out without needing an excuse. It was effortless, the way you fit into each other’s lives, like this was always meant to happen.

You weren’t official—no one had said the words—but it was obvious to everyone around you that it wouldn’t be long. The way he looked at you, the way you naturally gravitated toward him, the way his touch lingered just a little too long—it wasn’t subtle. It was only a matter of time before you stopped pretending there was still a line between you.

And today? Today was just another step closer.

A boat day with your friends felt like the perfect way to let things play out naturally. No pressure, no expectations—just sun, salt water, and the kind of company that made everything easy.

At least, that’s what you told yourself.

But as you approached the dock, spotting Rafe standing there—his shirt already discarded, muscles flexing as he tossed a cooler onto the boat—you knew nothing about today was going to feel casual.

He caught your eye, a slow smirk tugging at his lips. “Took you long enough, princess.”

You rolled your eyes, but the warmth in your chest betrayed you. “Not all of us live on Cameron time, Rafe.”

He extended a hand to help you step onto the boat, and you took it without thinking. The second your fingers met, his grip tightened around your waist, steadying you as you climbed aboard.

But he didn’t let go right away.

Instead, his fingers flexed slightly, pressing into your skin as he pulled you just a little closer—so close you could feel the heat of his bare chest against your arm.

“Careful,” he murmured, voice low. “Can’t have my girl taking a tumble.”

Your stomach flipped at the my girl comment, and judging by the amused glint in his eyes, he knew exactly what he was doing.

“Relax, Cameron, I can handle myself,” you shot back, ignoring the way your pulse picked up.

His smirk deepened, eyes flicking over your face before he reached up and tugged playfully on the end of your ponytail. “You look good.”

You huffed out a laugh, shaking your head. “You always say that.”

“That’s because it’s always true,” he said easily, his fingers briefly brushing against your arm before he finally let go.

From the other side of the boat, Brooke nudged Mia, not even trying to be subtle. “They are so down bad for each other.”

Mia stifled a laugh, and you shot them both a warning look before settling into your seat—pretending not to notice the way Rafe’s gaze lingered on you just a little too long.

This was going to be a long day.

The boat cut through the water, the salty breeze tangling through your hair. Laughter rang out over the crashing waves, blending with the steady thrum of music playing from the speakers—a mix of old throwbacks and rap songs everyone knew the words to.

Paige and Mia were already snapping selfies, Brooke was lounging with oversized sunglasses perched on her nose, and Topper, Kelce, and a few other guys had cracked open their beers, already a little too cocky about who was going to win the inevitable wakeboarding contest.

And Rafe?

Rafe was driving.

And he still had one hand on your thigh.

It wasn’t just a casual touch, either. His fingers flexed every so often, brushing against your sun-warmed skin absentmindedly. Like he wasn’t even thinking about it. Like touching you was second nature.

Or maybe he was thinking about it.

You turned your head, studying him—the sharp angles of his jaw, the way his damp hair curled slightly at the ends, the way his grip tightened just the slightest bit every time the boat hit a wave.

Eventually, you raised an eyebrow. “You do realize I’m not part of the boat, right?”

Rafe smirked, eyes still locked on the water. “You want me to move my hand?”

You opened your mouth—because yes, obviously, that was the logical answer—but then his thumb brushed over your skin.

A slow, lazy caress.

Your breath hitched.

Rafe chuckled, voice low and knowing. “That’s what I thought.”

Before you could roll your eyes, he leaned over and pressed a quick kiss to your temple. It was casual, effortless—like he didn’t even have to think twice about it.

And the worst part? Neither did you.

—

At some point, the boat slowed, and the guys started hyping up a wakeboarding competition.

“I’m telling you, I own you all at this,” Topper bragged, cracking his knuckles like he was about to go to war.

Kelce rolled his eyes. “You literally eat shit every time, dude.”

“Oh, and you don’t?”

“Boys,” you drawled, sipping your drink. “Are we actually going to do this, or are you just going to flirt with each other all day?”

That set off a chorus of groans and playful shoving, and eventually, they started taking turns, each one trying to outdo the last with tricks, flips, and unnecessary showboating.

When Rafe came up behind you, towel slung over his shoulder, his voice was low against your ear.

“You should go next.”

You tilted your head up at him, squinting against the sun. “And embarrass myself? No thanks.”

His lips twitched. “What, scared?”

“No. I just prefer not to have my ass handed to me in front of everyone.”

Rafe leaned in slightly, voice dropping an octave. “I’d never let that happen, sweetheart.”

Your stomach flipped.

Before you could respond, he reached past you, grabbing a drink from the cooler, his chest brushing against your back as he did.

And then—just as he was pulling away—he pressed a kiss to your bare shoulder, grinning when he felt you tense.

You smacked his arm, ignoring the way your skin tingled. “You’re annoying.”

He just winked. “And you love it.”

—

As the sun dipped lower, casting warm golden hues across the water, the energy on the boat finally started to settle. The steady hum of music still played from the speakers, but softer now, blending with the rhythmic lull of the waves against the hull. The salty breeze had cooled, sending a small shiver down your spine.

Immediately, Rafe noticed.

Without a word, he grabbed a towel and draped it over your shoulders, shifting so you could lean into him. His arm came around you, pulling you closer until your head rested against his shoulder.

It felt dangerously natural.

For a while, no one spoke. The exhaustion from a day spent in the sun and water had everyone content to just sit in silence, watching as the sky melted into deep purples and soft oranges.

Then—

“Alright,” Kelce suddenly said, breaking the peaceful quiet. “How long have you two really been together?”

Your head shot up so fast you nearly bumped into Rafe’s chin. “We’re not—”

“We’re just—” Rafe started at the same time.

The group erupted into laughter.

Topper smirked. “Yeah, okay. Whatever you guys say.”

Your face burned as you quickly looked away, but Rafe? Rafe just laughed, shaking his head.

And then, before you could even process what was happening, he turned his head, gaze flickering to your lips before closing the space between you.

The kiss was slow, lingering—like he had all the time in the world. Like he didn’t care that everyone was watching, didn’t care that this would confirm what everyone already knew.

His lips were warm, soft but insistent, and for a moment, the world around you faded. The teasing, the noise, the gentle rocking of the boat—it all disappeared.

It was just him.

By the time he pulled back, a slow smirk was tugging at his lips.

You stared at him, heart hammering against your ribs, and before you could even think about saying anything, Mia clapped her hands together.

“Finally,” she sighed dramatically.

Brooke grinned. “I was seriously getting secondhand embarrassment from the two of you.”

Paige just laughed. “Took you long enough.”

You groaned, burying your face in Rafe’s shoulder to hide your blush.

He chuckled, his breath warm against your hair as his hand found your thigh again, squeezing lightly. “You know,” he mused, voice just loud enough for you to hear, “you’re kinda cute when you’re flustered.”

You lifted your head just enough to shoot him a glare, though it lacked any real heat. “And you’re kinda cocky.”

Rafe just grinned, pressing another quick kiss to your temple. “Yeah, but you like it.”

You huffed out a laugh, shaking your head.

And despite everything—the teasing, the uncertainty, the blurred lines—there was one undeniable truth.

You weren’t faking this anymore.

And neither was he.

—

By the time the boat docked, the sky had fully darkened, the stars blinking down from above. The air was cooler now, a welcome relief from the lingering heat of the day.

One by one, your friends started to pile off, stretching, yawning, making plans for whatever was next—whether that was heading to someone’s house or calling it a night.

But Rafe didn’t seem in a rush to go anywhere.

Neither did you.

As you lingered on the dock, leaning against the railing, you felt his presence before you saw him. A second later, his arm slid around your waist, pulling you back against his chest.

“Tired?” he murmured against your ear.

You nodded, resting your hands over his. “A little.”

Rafe hummed, pressing a slow kiss just below your jaw. “Come home with me.”

Your stomach flipped.

Not let’s go back to my place. Not let’s leave together.

Come home with me.

Like it was a given. Like there wasn’t a single doubt in his mind that you’d say yes.

And maybe there wasn’t.

Maybe you didn’t have a single doubt either.

You turned in his arms, wrapping your arms around his neck as you met his gaze.

“Yeah,” you said softly. “Okay.”

Rafe’s smirk softened into something warmer, something real. He pressed another kiss to your lips—slow and sure—before pulling back just enough to rest his forehead against yours.

“Good,” he murmured.

And just like that, you knew.

This wasn’t just a summer fling.

This wasn’t just something.

This was everything.

—————————————————

This is the final part of this series! This is my first ever series so I hope you’ve enjoyed it. I am taking requests for any other series ideas you have for any characters I write for!!

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[dadsbongos]

dungeon meshi gave me an excuse to write clone porn

2.6 k words / warnings - readers have boobs and vagina, oral (laios + reader receiving), thigh fucking, porn without plot like none at all, not proofread + written while sleep deprived

summary - on your honeymoon, you and laios have a special kind of shapeshifter encounter

~~~

“Who keeps two towels in the whole house?” you grumble, pulling on the shoes you’d kicked off just minutes ago.

“Like I said, they probably keep some in the shed,” Laios is directly behind you, shoes on and wired to step outside, “Vacation houses out here are rare, but their sheds are more useful for storage than farming tools.”

“Still, did they not think to prepare a little more?” your frustration is not so easily tempered, “They knew a king was coming, didn’t they?”

“I’m sure they did,” Laios opens the front door for you, ushering you outside, “Marcille seemed pretty sure she set this up nicely for us. It’s just a short walk around the back, I could go by myself if you want to finish showering?”

His suggestion makes you sigh, you shake your head, huddling closer to him as chilled wind scathes your damp skin, “I’m just annoyed, it’s nothing for me to be so hostile about… Sorry for losing my mind.”

“I don’t mind,” he smooches the crown of your head and ventures around the house. You chase after, having to keep a hand dragging along the wall to avoid tripping.

“Laios!” you wail, unable to make him out with gray clogging your whole vision, “Laios!”

“Yeah?” you slam into his chest, letting out a muted ‘oomf!’ at the impact.

“It’s so foggy out here,” you grumble.

“It is, guess I forgot how terrible it could be.”

“Dunno how you could forget anything like this.”

Laios groans in irritation at the weather, blindly reaching out until he’s got a hand on your shoulder. Once he’s certain of your position, he reaches out again, “Here, take my hand, I don’t want you to get separated from me.”

You take the hand extended and let Laios tug you towards the shed. By the time you’re inside and the hanging overhead lantern is lit, a sudden discovery is made.

There are two extra bodies among you. You hold one Laios, and the Laios across from you holds the hand of your copy.

A gasp echoes through the room, distinctly Laios-like in passion.

Seems a monster has crossed your paths.

One Laios is taller, a mere two inches, and you think if you really stare that same Laios’ chest is slightly bigger too. He’s also smiling, beaming really, right off the bat while the second Laios’ excitement is more contained to shaking hands and meek giggles. To be fair to both, they thought they’d never see a monster again so you let the strange giddy slide.

However, your duplicate is scary in how precisely Laios remembers you. Your hair is a bit bouncier and lips more glossy than current, but she’s undeniably accurate. Its legs, the swell of its breasts, the mold of its waist -- almost as though you’re gazing through a mirror.

“This would probably be easier if it wasn’t just us,” you think aloud, looking at the two Laioses only to see them poking and prodding at one another.

“They don’t seem too keen on figuring out which is which,” your copy mumbles, earning a glare from you.

“It’s a shapeshifter!” the slightly shorter Laios (who you’re now electing to dub Laios A) shouts, “I haven’t seen one of these in forever! I thought I never would again!”

The other one, Laios B, nods and yanks Laios A’s hair experimentally, then groping his bicep, “It really feels just like I do! Soft, but firm skin and the hair texture’s exactly right!”

As if thinking in sync, the pair slowly turn towards the yous. Four hands turn unto you both to squeeze and roll down the planes of your body. Or, bodies, considering they’re petting down your copy as well.

“Practically identical!” Laios A squeals, kissing your cheek then your copy’s, “Even the plumpness of their cheeks feel the same!”

“Glad you’re having fun,” your dupe cuts in, “but shouldn’t we try getting rid of the fakes before they get rid of us?”

Oh, that little wench.

“Let Laios have fun,” you smack its arm, “You should know this is rare for him now.”

“That attitude’s terrible! He could die if we keep messing around!” it glares at you with an accusatory finger-wag, “I bet you want us to waste time, you fake!”

“You’re the fake, you fake!”

Laios A has to restrain you with both arms around your waist -- while Laios B does the same for your shifter -- to prevent you from knocking a fist into its stupid, fake face.

“There’s gotta be a way to figure out which ones the real one without breaking into fights,” Laios B fusses, hugging the shifter tighter to soothe her. Which, in turn, only agitates you more because what if that Laios is the real one, and he’s in horrible danger holding that monster?!

“We can’t just cut ourselves open,” Laios A’s chest reverberates at your back, then his hand skims down the front of your stomach, fingertips dipping just beneath your waistband, “But maybe we could tell each other’s behaviors apart some other way…”

“Oh, so it’s like that?” you tilt your head back to stare up at Laios A.

He nods, terminally serious despite the pinkish hue trailing from his cheeks to his neck, “It’s like that,” he then darts his eyes between you and your copy, “Can we?”

The real question seems to be: can you two get along for now?

Are you so devoted to Laios that you’re willing to play nice with something so grating?

You sigh and reach up to cup Laios A’s cheek, “Yeah, we can.”

Both Laioses rush to undo the tie of their trousers, only to be stopped by you and your copy -- the two of you falling onto your knees, creeping hands under Laios’ shirt and beneath his pants.

Yanking the soft material down to unveil thick thighs, Laios A above you gasps quietly at the cool air brushing his exposed skin. Your lips climb the meat of his leg, noting that Laios B’s thighs are looking a little rounder. Not that it matters, you’ll gladly bite and suck both.

Fingers dancing along the apple of your cheek redirect your attention, Laios A’s face tinged crimson. You smooch the bone of his hip, nails scaling along the back of his thighs to pull him closer. Beside your face, his cock hardens, color deepening towards his mushroom tip; he keens for more attention, unintentionally smearing leaky precum over your face as his erection twitches. You smooth a thumb along his underside before chastly pecking the weepy head.

Laios B’s hands strip your copy’s shirt, lifting it to paw at its breasts. He kisses down the column of its neck before reaching out for you as well. Rising onto your feet, you run your hands up Laios B’s back to shirk off his top -- Laios A awkwardly lingering behind your clone. His hands find the waistband of its pants, snaking beneath the lip to plunge into its panties.

You press a kiss to Laios B, he doesn’t turn to return the affection, but you recover quickly by pulling down both you and your duplicate’s bottoms. Laios A’s neck cranes over your copy’s shoulder to snatch your lips for himself. Laios B’s hands warm and calloused from labor as they careen up your waist to rid you of your shirt as well. He sucks a violet array from your shoulder to jaw, grinding his turgid girth between your thighs -- your wetness welcoming him.

Laios A moans at the sight of himself thrusting along your soaked slit, fingers quickening inside your copy until its own slick is rolling towards the floor. While Laios B releases muted groans and puffs into your ear.

“Need to be inside you,” Laios A whines, kissing your copy’s lips before striding past all three of you towards the center of the room. Laios B and you tilt to watch him.

Laios A quickly flattens his back against the floor, cobblestone acclimating to his rising body heat, he pulls you down by the waist -- then beckoning your copy via wave. One of his hands cradles your waist while the other smoothes along your copy’s thigh. Silently urging it to kneel over his face, all while his twitching cock bobs toward the apex of your thighs.

“Want to know if here’s the same, too,” Laios A murmurs into your dupe’s thighs, sharply jerking his hips towards yours.

Suddenly, large hands are burrowing into the thicket of your hair, swerving your eyes to Laios B. Your tongue lulls in time with your copy, lips brushing hers around the base of Laios B’s flushed head. Needily, he mushes your faces together, thrusting between the wet cavern of your mouths. Hands just as soft as yours slither beneath you to work Laios A inside you. Laios A snaps his knees up, feet on the floor, to aid your copy’s effort. His hips buck up, punching air from your chest as he pops into your hole.

A louder mewl slithers past your copy’s lips, Laios A’s tongue lathering its slit before pausing at its clit, bathing the bud in extra attention. His thumbs splay it open just for easier access to tongue-fuck. Meanwhile, your sleepy bouncing rhythm is interrupted by abrupt, sharp humping throwing you off balance. The only reason you don’t fall over is Laios B stubbornly holds your head still, fucking the sodden gap between yours and your clone’s faces; otherwise leaving you to your own devices. You manage to catch yourself on Laios A’s chest, firm muscles flexing beneath your palms with his throaty hums and whimpers of pleasure.

Your tongue clashes with your clone’s -- soft and wet and warm.

Pulling both your heads back, Laios B rearranges you so your clone is left squealing around his balls while he slaps the meaty weight of his cock on your tongue. Sliding toward the back of your throat, his face flushes as he hungrily coaxes your head further down. Until your molten cheeks meet the protrusions of his pelvic bones.

A hand bigger than yours (though smaller than the one in your hair) rests on your flexing tummy, pressing against the bulging evidence of which Laios is inside you. Laios A groans at the feeling, and you quickly fumble your hand over his, pressing harder with a delighted gasp that ends in a gag and choke. Their sizes are indecipherable, and if the mood were different you could almost be ashamed by how perverted it makes you seem.

Laios B throws his head back as your throat spasms around his tip, lip cinched between his teeth and brows furrowed. He forces your head side-to-side, reveling in the bend of your muscles shifting to accommodate his dick. Laios A, however, stretches his hand (a little uncomfortably) so his thumb can swish messily against your clit. Your volume grows, quickly overpowering both Laios B and your own duplicate. Spurring Laios A to hasten, jostling you with his powerful drilling paired with stimulating your clit.

The other hand of Laios A has found one of your clone’s tits, squeezing and padding the nipple with his thumb. She’s grinding down against his nose, hips jumping and muffled mewls just barely scratching past its lips into the sensitive sack of Laios B’s balls. Spit gurgling down its chin, drying against its breasts and Laios A’s hand.

Drool steadily pools at the pucker of your own lips, pushed out everytime B shoves in -- saliva splatters his hips, dripping down his thighs and soaking his base as well as your entire lower face. The quicker he fucks your face, the sloppier and wetter it gets. Which is certainly in character for Laios.

But so is the way the one on his back is staving off his burgeoning orgasm to make sure (both of) you finish first. Something he always tries.

Laios A’s hips snap up firmly, crooking up into you midair, deep as possible to ensure all his cum is milked by your cunt. He moans into your clone’s cunt, now content to let his tongue hang out as it fucks his face -- his hand still squishing its tit.

Yet something he always fails.

Laios usually cums before you, but he’s also got the stamina to soldier on until you drop.

Determined, Laios swirls your clit, fevered thrusts slowing to meet your bouncing on his cock. Another slush of saliva oozes past your lips, lubing the shapeshifter as you cry around its erection. Laios fucks you through your orgasm, evidently loving how cum spews from your weeping cunt -- leaking down his cock, over his nuts, and spilling onto the cobblestone below.

Faux Laios spits cum down your throat with a few final aggressive jerks. Your clone is the last, and the quietest, shy huffs scarcely audible between skin on skin and both you and Laios’ noisy crooning.

The shapeshifters tumble off, thoroughly exhausted, and you fare no better collapsing into Laios’ chest. He leisurely jabs the last of your energy from you before pulling out altogether. Sweetly pecking your forehead, Laios murmurs something you don’t quite catch before he rises -- still naked -- to drive off the imposters.

Snagging both by the back of their necks, Laios herds the pair towards the back wall, then scooping you up to carry towards the main house. Once your doppelgangers are locked outside, Laios can focus on getting you in bed.

You pinch the juncture of his neck, yawning into his chest, “Clothes…”

“I know, I know,” he slumps against the door upon getting inside, laying his head over yours -- eyes fluttering with drowsiness as soon as he crosses into the master bed, “I’ll go back when the shapeshifter’s dealt with. You brought more clothes, right?”

You nod clumsily. Then peek at him through heavy lashes, “How do you know I’m the right one anyway?”

(you trust him to know which you was which, you just want him to bask in this)

Laios grins, visibly excited to share as he slips you beneath the sheets, “You’re always loud when we have sex, so I knew the version of you trying to be quiet couldn’t be it. And it was too shy about sitting on my face -- we’ve been together a while so you should be used to it by now,” his expression grows somehow brighter before disappearing from your sight, voice lively from the bathroom, “Could you tell which me was me?”

“Mhm,” you wait for him to return with a damp washcloth before mumbling your own reasoning, “The other one was too rough, kept shovin’ my head. And he never kissed me,” you fling a hand out, and Laios moves his head so your palm lands on his cheek, “Which was very unlike you.”

“You’re so smart,” he muses, shifting to kiss your palm before lacing his free hand with yours and retucking it in bed so he can properly clean the mixed cum between your thighs. Then, suddenly, he’s frowning.

“Aw, what’s wrong?”

“This might actually be my last time seeing a monster, unless it's a corpse Izutsumi brings me…”

“Poor baby,” you’ll never understand his fascination -- monsters are deadly and terrible and most are ugly as sin, but you’re useless to denying Laios anything so you always indulge him, “You could sing me the mermaids’ song, would that help you feel better?”

Laios sits up straighter, finishing cleaning you off, “Can I sing to the end? I never get to finish it.”

“Of course, you can.”

Quiet, hysterical giggles leave Laios’ mouth as he slides into bed beside you, hugging you into his chest before clearing his throat to begin singing.

(you have to keep pinching yourself awake to actually let Laios finish the song before falling asleep, but his grateful little kisses on your hairline are enough thanks)

[tifosipogue]

Shadowbound

xaden riorson x reader

The first time I controlled shadows, it nearly killed me.

They came unbidden, twisting from my fingers like smoke made flesh, writhing through the air in thick, sinuous tendrils. They answered a scream I didn’t even realize I had loosed, a sound of pain, confusion, and fear. The sparring arena had cleared in seconds. Cadets scrambled to get away from the unnatural display, leaving me crouched and gasping at its center.

The silence after was deafening—until footsteps echoed on the flagstones.

He stepped through the haze like a myth incarnate. Xaden Riorson, wing leader of Fourth Wing, son of rebellion, and war-marked from wrist to bicep. His eyes found mine instantly, and his gaze pinned me in place as if he, too, wielded a signet of power over the soul.

"So it’s true," he said, his voice calm but low. "You control shadows."

I managed a nod, forcing the darkness to retreat into my skin. "Apparently."

He tilted his head. "You’re Dain’s sister."

"Yes," I replied, breath still shaky.

For a long moment, he said nothing, just studied me. "You’ll need to learn control. Soon. Or the wrong people will notice."

"And what then?"

His lips barely curved. "Then you won’t have to worry about learning anything at all."

____

Training with Xaden Riorson was like learning to swim by being thrown to the sharks. There were no soft landings. No encouragement. Only brutal honesty and relentless pressure.

"Again," he said for the fifth time that hour, as my shadows flickered and fizzled.

"I'm trying!"

"Try harder. You’re letting your fear get in the way."

I glared at him, fists clenched. "I’m not afraid."

He stepped closer, eyes narrowing. "Yes, you are. And that’s exactly why they’re not listening to you."

We were in the secluded room beneath Basgiath, the air was thick with old magic, cold and sharp. The perfect place to fail in private.

"You don’t control shadows," he reminded me, voice low. "You speak to them. Command, not coerce. If you push too hard, they lash out. If you hesitate, they slip through your fingers."

I took a deep breath and closed my eyes. The darkness welcomed me like an old friend, a thousand silent voices humming just out of reach. I extended my will, and slowly, a blade of shadow rose, solid and sharp.

"Better," Xaden said, and I dared glance at him. Was that approval? Maybe. For a moment.

Then he stepped back. "Again."

____

Days blurred into weeks. Training sessions turned brutal. He taught me how to fight blind, how to cast darkness over entire fields, how to manipulate form, shape, and structure. I learned to conceal myself, to strike without sound.

But it wasn’t just combat he was teaching me. It was restraint. Awareness. Balance.

And somewhere between the clashing of shadow and steel, something else bloomed. A bond neither of us dared name.

Every glance held heat. Every brush of hands lingered longer than necessary. We fought like enemies and stood like lovers on the edge of something dangerous.

There were nights when I woke gasping from dreams filled with him—his touch, his voice in the dark. And every morning, I pretended nothing had changed.

Until it did.

It happened on the eve of a tactical simulation. We were camped high on a ridge, the wind howling through the rocks like a warning. Everyone else was asleep, but I couldn't rest. My skin itched with unspent magic.

I found him where I always did—standing at the cliff's edge, watching the valley below like it might attack.

"You’re always up here," I said, joining him.

He didn’t look at me. "It’s easier to think when it’s quiet."

I stepped closer. "What do you think about?"

His jaw tightened. "How many enemies I have. And now, how many more you’ll have, too."

The words struck like a blade. "You think I'm a liability."

"No," he said quickly. "I think you’re the biggest advantage we have. And that terrifies me."

"Why? Because I could be a threat to them?"

His gaze snapped to mine, fierce and dark. "Because you’re already a threat. And they’ll come for you like they came for the others."

"Then let them come."

He stepped in, so close I felt the heat of him despite the chill. "You still don’t understand. Two shadow wielders? We’re not just dangerous. We’re unpredictable. No one in power will let that stand."

The anger boiled up in me, fueled by weeks of tension and silent longing.

"Stop pretending this is just about power!" I snapped. "You push me. You protect me. You treat me like something fragile, and then train me like a weapon. What the hell do you want from me, Xaden?"

He stared, jaw clenched, shadows writhing at his back like they felt his turmoil.

"I want you to live," he said finally. "Because I can’t lose you. Not now. Not after..."

His voice broke, and I stepped closer. "After what?"

He reached up, his hand brushing a strand of hair from my cheek. His touch was fire. "After you became the only light in this damn war I actually want to protect."

And then he kissed me.

It was like falling.

Falling into fire and shadow, into something so consuming it stole the breath from my lungs. His arms wrapped around me, one at my waist, the other in my hair, pulling me closer as if distance between us had ever been a sin.

The shadows danced around us, not as shields or weapons, but as witnesses.

When we broke apart, both of us breathless, he pressed his forehead to mine.

"We can’t afford this," he whispered.

"We can’t afford not to," I breathed.

____

The days that followed were a blur of preparation. Word had already started to spread. Whispers of a second shadow wielder. Of the girl who trained with the son of rebellion.

Dain found me alone in the mess hall a week later. His face was tight with barely veiled panic.

"Tell me it isn’t true," he said, voice hoarse.

I looked up. "That I can control shadows? That I’m training with Xaden? That we’re stronger together than apart? Which part exactly, Dain?"

He slammed his tray down. "You don’t understand what they’ll do to you. To both of you."

"I understand perfectly," I said, rising. "And I’m not hiding from it."

He stared at me, searching my face like he didn’t recognize me anymore. "He’s dangerous."

"So am I," I said. "And I’m done pretending I’m not."

The final test came during a surprise attack on the outer defenses. Venin forces breached the barrier, pouring through in a tide of corrupted power.

Cadets scrambled to form ranks. Screams filled the night.

I found Xaden already fighting, shadows curling from his body like blades. We moved as one. My shadows met his, locking together like puzzle pieces. Every movement was synchronized, deadly, beautiful.

I created cover with a dome of darkness. He struck from its edges, silent and swift. Together, we decimated a wave of attackers.

And then a Venin commander stepped into the field.

He laughed when he saw us. "Two wielders? How quaint. Let’s see how well you share."

He conjured a spear of obsidian and launched it toward Xaden.

I didn’t think. I moved.

My shadows snatched the spear mid-air, snapped it in half, and launched the shards back at the Venin.

Xaden's eyes widened. "You split it. You manipulated someone else’s creation. That shouldn’t be possible."

I was shaking, adrenaline and raw power coursing through me.

When the battle ended, we stood in the wreckage of victory, bruised and bloodied.

Xaden reached for me, shadows still pulsing beneath his skin. "They’ll come harder next time."

I looked at him, every inch of me alight with defiance and something deeper.

"Then let them. We’re not just shadow wielders. We’re shadowbound."

He smiled, small and real. "It was always meant to be this way, wasn't it?"

I stepped into his arms. "Yes."

The stars overhead bore witness as we stood in the dark, not afraid, not alone.

Two against the world. And for the first time, that felt like enough.

[deepspacedandelion]

Kissy Face, Kissy Face (NSFW, 18+)

— ˗ˋ ୨୧ ˊ˗ — ˗ˋ ୨୧ ˊ˗ — ˗ˋ ୨୧ ˊ˗ — ˗ˋ ୨୧ ˊ˗ — ˗ˋ ୨୧ ˊ˗ —

Summary: You beg Caleb to let you test a few lipstick colors on him, trying to see if they’re transfer proof, his jealousy makes an appearance, but he knows exactly how to fix it (freaky ass🤣).

Warnings: Smut (25% other, 75% smut be aware), P in V sex, cumming (male) inside (female) (wrap it before you tap it yall), fingering (fem receiving), mentions of female genitalia, mentions of male genitalia, mentions of panty sniffing, mentions of masturbation, one mention of pubic hair, cursing, a little dumbification (if you squint real hard), Lots of dirty Talk (Caleb a freak), slight yandere Caleb (if you squint real hard), mentions of jealousy, possessiveness, and indirectly mentioned manipulation.

Word Count: 4.3k (A little long? Maybe not.)

*picture from Pinterest (though I did add the kiss marks myself!), full credit to the lovely creators!❤️*

— ˗ˋ ୨୧ ˊ˗ — ˗ˋ ୨୧ ˊ˗ — ˗ˋ ୨୧ ˊ˗ — ˗ˋ ୨୧ ˊ˗ — ˗ˋ ୨୧ ˊ˗ — It’s not Caleb’s fault that he could never say no to you.

Really.

He just can’t fathom the thought of those two letters leaving his mouth and seeing the heartbreak painted on your face at the mere sound. He knows that half the things he allows you to do will always leave him with the bad end of the stick, but he doesn’t mind that.

He never does.

It’s all worth it in the end because he gets to spend time with you and hear your angelic voice as you blabber about whatever. He gets to inhale every sweet scent that flows from your frame, always seeming to float their way into his vicinity and permeate his nostrils; body wash, lotions, perfumes, shampoos, you name it, he loves it, craves it even. Every scent has him paralyzed momentarily, ignoring the rest of the world and honing in on you.

But what truly makes it all worth it is the smile on your face and knowing that smile is all his doing, no one else's. It’s one of the best feelings in the world to him. He's a fiend for seeing your teeth gleam from a smile laced with joy, so when you came to him, big puppy eyes pleading with him to help you with this trivial matter, how could he ever say no?

“Please, Caleb! Please!! It would only take a few minutes!”

His teasing nature was so irresistible, he was so tempted to say ‘no,’ just to rile you up, not because he’d ever truly mean it, just because he wanted to see your pretty pink lips pout at the utterance of his refusal.

“Why should I? I don’t think I want to sit here and be covered in your lipstick smudges, Pipsqueak. You know how long that’ll take to scrub off? Absolutely not!” He scoffs, faux annoyance playing at his words.

There it was, a 'no,' Indirect, but present nevertheless. He’d give in soon, though, the pressure simmering beneath his skin. You knew it and he knew it, all he needed was a little… push, something that would strike a nerve, and you knew exactly how to do that.

Your hand extended to the left end of the couch where, right next to it, lay your makeup bag. Reaching inside, you pulled out one of the many red lipsticks huddled in the pouch, speaking softly as you popped the cap and coated the silky red paint on your lips.

“C’mon, Caleb. I want to see which of these lipstick’s is transfer proof. I don’t want to go from Marilyn Monroe to Ronald McDonald after kissing a guy just cuz I chose the wrong one. So, be a doll and help a girl out, will you?~”

Oh, you’ve done it now. You can see the grimace that spreads across his face, the clench that positions itself in his jaw, and if you squint your eyes hard enough, you can even see the slight twitch in his nimble fingers.

Unmistakingly, Caleb loved to tease you, a little too much, but boy, the man cannot take what he dishes out. You were well aware that the fastest way to get to him, the path to the fulfillment of all your desires, was to travel through his jealous nature. He’d tried working on it, he really did, but it was futile. He couldn't bear the thought of you with another man, let alone kissing him! If another guy so much as breathed in your direction, he’d get overly jealous; why is he trying to get you to notice him? Why is your attention needed elsewhere? Is he not enough for you? Isn't your gaze only for him? His brows furrowed as his mind ran rampant imagining the sight of someone's disgusting lips kissing what is his. The thought clear torture to him.

No!

He won’t stand for it.

Your lips are only for him. No one else. His fingers curl into a fist as he caves, the thoughts brought on by the delayed approval a result of his own mistake.

“5 minutes.” His eyes burned into you, he wasn’t mad, no, never that. Just jealous beyond compare.

The smile that spread across your red lips practically split your face in half.

Bingo.

You jumped into his arms, kissing his cheek as you did so.

“Okay, so, not this one! I didn’t like it anyway, too much of an orange undertone.” You remark, noticing the reddish kiss mark on the side of his face.

“Sit,” you demand, wiping the color on your lips off with the back of your hand and fetching another out of your bag. He complies, wordlessly, eyes peering into your soul.

“That one was… Flirt Alert, nice, nice. Next one is… Cherry Pie.” You straddle his lap and coat the new lipstick on, softly planting another kiss on his cheek after your done. The jealous tension falls from his face, welcoming your lips with a newfound lax expression.

“Not this one.” You say again, tossing it back into the makeup bag.

“How about… Vampira?" Absentmindedly, you pull the collar of his shirt to use as a rag to wipe off the Cherry Pie that's on your lips, an odd habit for you, but he doesn't object, opting to stay quiet as he studies every ethereal feature on your face, especially as you coat the Vampira on and lean to the side to kiss his jawbone. "Ooh, bold, I like it! But, unfortunately, she's another dud.” Much like the previous two, this one transfers as well. Caleb tries, but his mind can't seem to focus enough to be a good little guinea pig for your experiment right now, too hazy after inhaling the sweet smell of your perfume. To out of it after feeling the soft sensation of your kiss, large hands resting snugly on the small of your back as you shift through the makeup bag once more.

“Wine stain?” You ask, holding it up for Caleb to see. He hums, hearing your words, yet unable to decode their meaning. His eyes softer now, staring at you with an unknown twinkle glimmering in his irises. The twinkle thats doing it's best to conceal the tent pitching in his jeans, his tip chafing against the soft fabric of his briefs, creating tiny shocks of pleasure that make him grow.

That’s right. Caleb is loving this. Why wouldn’t he? You’re right above him, so darling and beautiful, kissing his cheeks, his jaw bone and littering kisses along his neck. He’s trying his best to hide it, carefully adjusting the uncomfortableness in his pants every time you look away to grab another lipstick, but it’s getting too much to handle. He’s so close, yet so far, from feeling oh so good.

“Too purple under-toned.” You say, wiping off the Wine Stain on Caleb’s shirt. “Hey,” You call, noticing that you’re beginning to run out of space to litter more kisses. “Take off your shirt, I need more space. We still have a lot more to go.” Your fist thumps playfully against his chest, a silent urge for him to follow your command.

A devious smile overtakes his features. “Just kiss me on my lips then.” He uses the index finger of his free hand to tap twice on his bottom lip, his tantalizing stare enticing you and sending a tingle right down to your core.

“N-no,” You can’t help that your confident demeanor falters, he’s just so… bold and so… handsome. You’d never admit it out loud, but you never noticed it much until now, his large frame under you and his face so close to yours. “That’d make it too weird…”

“Oh and me stripping down and you kissing me so softly doesn’t?” He doesn’t mean to inch his face closer to yours or to inch closer to making his feelings known, he just can’t hold back anymore. He’s waited so long for you… to be this close to you. Waited so long for your kisses, and your touch. It’s making him… feel something.

You don’t answer, instead, you use your finger to trace over the toned muscles of his torso. He’s so… sexy. You can’t even meet his eyes again as you paint on the fourth lipstick; Seductive Scarlett.

It’s a pretty, ruby red. Not quite the look you’re going for, but when you kiss him again, it’s pretty flush against his skin. You can’t help but plant a few more kisses down his body, you just want to feel it a little more, to get the tiniest hint of what he tastes like.

He’s relishing in the tenderness of your kisses, smile and boner growing. Using his free hand, he reaches over into your makeup bag and pulls out a tube.

Bringing your face level to his, he cups your cheek, tauntingly waving a lipstick in front of you. "How 'bout… Candy Apple?"

Goodness, he’s so sexy. You can feel a warm sensation pooling between your legs, the soft friction of your panties teasing you as they rub against your sensitive clit.

“O-okay… yeah, let’s try that.” Is all you can muster up as the pad of his thumb swipes across your lips, removing the previous lipstick. He paints the new color on you so gently, holding your face as he does so. Oh, how he wants to ravish you in this moment. You look so pretty, all dolled up, just for him.

“Kiss me on my lips this time,” He whispers, his breath hot against the skin of your neck.

You want to hesitate, to think to yourself ‘No! This is Caleb, my best friend since childhood!' but that doesn’t come. All that sits in your brain is the sight of his pleased face as your lips crash against his.

The taste of his lips is sweet, like apple flavored chapstick. They’re so soft and malleable as you bite down lightly on his bottom lip, eliciting a low groan from him.

His hand pushes your body towards his, and you moan into his mouth as the tent in his pants grinds against your covered clit.

Oh, how he loves this, his hips bucking up in between your legs as he moans in your mouth.

You thought about kissing someone else tonight? No, no, no, dear. You’re his to kiss. Only his.

He holds your body tight against him as he flips you over, your back hitting the couch and him hovering above you, ravaging you with his kisses.

This is what you wanted right? To make him jealous? Well they’ll be no more of that. He’s determined to show you why he’ll never get jealous again. He promises this time. Because, why would he ever be jealous again when he’s going to make you his? Right here, right now. No more following you around like a little puppy, waiting for you to see that he’s the right one—no, the only one— for you. No more giving random men the scare of their life if he so much as catches them with you—no wonder none of your dates ever texted you back. It was all his fault—. But you don’t need to know that, a secret just for him.

His kisses trail down your neck and collarbones, imitating the way you did him earlier, leaving the pretty red lipstick that you so generously left on his lips decoratively over your skin. His soft fingers hook into the thin straps of your dress and glides them down your shoulders, bunching the floral fabric of the ensemble at your waist. His bulge is in between your legs, grinding oh so deliciously right where you need him most. Straightening his back, he takes in the beautiful sight of your desperate form. Don’t worry, he’ll give you just what you need.

“You know,” He begins, swiping his thumb across his lips to remove the remaining lipstick. “Candy Apple is so perfect on you, baby. I think that’s your color, yeah?” His vocal tone is so taunting, knowing exactly how wet its making you.

Half of you is screaming, 'What a slut!' As the wetness between your legs drenches the midsection of your panties, but the other half of you is so desperate to feel him inside you. This is what you wanted. Your plan, albeit a bit unpredictable, worked. You’d riled Caleb up enough, feigned innocence at the mention of kissing another man, knowing that would be just what tipped him over the edge. There would never be another man. How could it when someone as perfect as Caleb was relentless about you? Pining after you day and night? But you couldn’t dare to give in too easy, you couldn’t let him know just how much everything he did affected you. Because then, then he’d have won. No can do, you needed to be the winner of this game. You needed to get him to break first. And who knew, with a plan so simple, you'd do just that.

“Caleb,” You call, urging him on as you place your hands on his toned biceps.

“I know, baby, I know,” He coos, unzipping his jeans and taking out his erect cock.

Oh my, it was so fucking pretty. Just the perfect length and a perfect width, accompanied by a small patch of short, wispy, black hairs resting at the base, scrunched under his tensed hand that smeared milky pre cum from his muted soft pink tip all the way down his veiny cock, only making your pussy wetter.

“I’m gonna fuck you so good, hm? You want that, don’t you, Pipsqueak? That’s why you’re soaking wet for me, yeah? I can tell.” His head cocked to the side as he poked the tip of his length right at your clothed entrance, rubbing it so slowly up and down your sopping cunt. Oh, he was such an asshole.

Your cheeks burned in embarrassment. Yes, fuck, yes, OF COURSE, all you wanted was his pretty cock to fuck your brains in, since you must’ve been out of your damn mind mentioning another man around him. But dammit, you didn’t want to give in, give him the upper hand at teasing you. But that’s too bad, cuz that’s exactly what he wanted. He would stop being jealous, he promises, only, ONLY, if he could make you his. And what better way to do that than to fuck your pretty pussy full of his cum. Surely that’d be good enough right? Good enough to remind you who you belong to? Who you’ll always belong to?

You tried to turn you face, avoid his eyes, but he roughly cupped your cheeks before you could, ensuring your eyes met his, filled with malicious intent.

“Go ahead, ask me so sweetly, baby. Ask me to fuck your pretty pussy so good, and I just might, yeah? I just might let you cum all over my cock. Make it yours, hm?”

Shit.

How could you resist? A pulse of ecstasy washed over your clit, causing you to gush out another wave of wetness. You needed him. You needed him inside of you now.

“Please, Caleb, please fuck me. Please fuck my pussy so good.”

That was all the confirmation he needed; you wanted this just as much as he did. A proud grin flashed across his face as he slowly peeled off your panties.

Fuck him and his stupid snail speed.

But don't blame him, he needed to savour this moment. If it was gone too soon, where's the fun in that? No, no, no, he can't have that.

His fingertips dance across your stomach, tracing intricate patterns as they made their way down, halting at the top of your thigh. He watches you, like a lion watches a gazelle, making sure your eyes are fixed on him as he brings his middle and ring finger up to his mouth. His fingers push past his lips, slathering them with a large glob of saliva. Slowly, he slips them out and lowers them down to your clit, careful not to waste a drop. Your breath hitches as he plunges his saliva coated digits in your slick, rubbing it up and down your pussy, mixing it so lewdly, getting it so messy for him.

"You're so pretty, you know that? Your pussy's so pretty." Oh damn, his voice was so low and sensual, reverberating straight down in your core.

You nodded your head, reeling from desire and embarrassment. You tried to trail your hand down to direct his hand, to silently urge him to touch you more, make you cum so hard, but he stopped you, interlocking your fingers with his.

"Tsk. No, no, baby. I’ll make you cum soon. Right when I want you too.”

Feather light circles were traced on your clit, over and over, making your head spin. It was so subtle, not enough to make you cum, but just enough to get you wetter for him. He enjoyed this, seeing your body unravel before him.

It’s only right.

Your body is his and his only.

Carefully, his middle finger slides down from your clit and penetrates your entrance, enticing a loud moan of yours to fill the room.

His fingers feel so foreign, yet so familiar.

Did you fantasize about him when you masturbated, dreaming that his hand could replace your own and get you off at lightening speed? Of course, but you never thought that those fantasies could come to life.

Warmness trickles down your spine and engulfs your wet cunt as he adds another finger, your pussy squelching loudly at the intrusion.

“Hear that, baby? She wants me. That why she’s so fuckin’ wet for me. She wants me to fuck her like she deserves. She's such a pretty pussy.” The lewd way he personifies your pussy turns you on even more, practically making you cum on the spot. But you maintain your composure, you have to, you have a reward to claim; Caleb told you that you could cum all around his cock, ‘make it yours’ he said. And that’s exactly what you plan to do.

He curls his fingers inside of you, fingertips grazing the soft sponginess of your insides, lightly presses against your G-Spot, causing your body to tremble. All the while, he never takes his persistent eyes off of you, maintaining deeply intimate eye contact as he watches your face contort in pleasure.

“Fuck,” You breathe, eyes screwing shut at the waves of pleasure that roll over you. “When are you gonna fuck me, Caleb?” Your voice is delicate, laced with pure need. You don’t mean to be so direct, so adamant about what you want—no, what you need—, but it just feels too good. If this is the way he makes you feel from just his fingers, imagine how good his cock would make you feel. He can sense it. It’s so evident; how you want him to ravish you in a way only he can. He absolutely loves it. This is way better than jerking off with your panties, stroking his cock so achingly slow as he draws in a deep exhale, chasing your scent. It always made him cum so hard, the dulled scent of your pussy like a pheromone to him. But now, he doesn’t have to do that anymore. Now he has the real thing, the real scent, the real taste of your pussy as he slowly pulls out his fingers and sucks the wetness from them, eyes practically rolling back in his head at the taste, sending him into a frenzy.

Fuck. This was so much better, a thousand times better than sniffing your panties. This was you, the real you, and that’s exactly what he needed. He can never go without it again.

“You’re so impatient, baby.” He chuckles, sliding the head of his cock up and down your slick cunt. He leans in close, covering your face in butterfly kisses as he lines the tip up with your hole. If this is what you want, he’ll give it to you. He’ll be the only one to give it to you. “Don’t worry, baby,” He says, pushing it in so slow, stuffing you full of his fat cock, your mouth parting in ecstasy. “Fuck, I am too.” He tries to keep a gentle pace for you, he can’t fuck you too stupid yet. No, you’re not ready for that. But it’s so difficult to keep his promise to himself; the promise that WHEN—not ‘IF’, but 'WHEN'— he finally, finally got to fuck you, he’d take it so painstakingly slow. Draw it out so long, cherish every second. Spend hours and hours making you feel so good, make love to you. But damn, was that difficult. Right here, in this moment, on this couch, all he wanted to do was claim you as his.

He gives you the quickest second to adjust to his length, stopping momentarily after pushing in inch after inch until he bottoms out, hips reluctantly stuttering to a stop. He just has to catch his breath for a second, get used to your tight pussy sucking him in, clenching around him and begging to be fucked, any way he likes.

“Fuck, you feel so good,” He groans, panting into the crook of your neck, littering kisses and red and purples flowers along the area. His hips rock steadily into your squelching pussy, and goodness, does he moan like a pornstar.

He doesn’t care who could hear him, all he cares is that you hear him., loud and clear. Hear how good you’re making him feel, how good he’s making you feel.

Your nails claw at his broad back, trying hard to restrain yourself from letting your orgasm take over. You just want to feel him for a bit, let him fuck your pussy real good, like she deserves.

Missionary is a favorite for him, seeing your pretty face as you try so hard to contain your pleasure, but it’s not his absolute favorite.

No, that comes when he places his large hands on the back of your thighs, pushing up until he’s sure your knees are touching your shoulders.

His teeth gleam under the dim lighting, he’s such a smug bastard about this.

“Just wanna get as deep as I can, baby. You want that right?” His veiny cocks pushes deeper into you, stretching you out oh so good. The feeling incomparable to your own feeble attempts at fingering yourself. His hips take on a faster pace, thrusting into you with impatient desire.

He tried the best he could, to at least try and slow down, but he just needed to cum as soon as possible, needed to make YOU cum as soon as possible.

He loved teasing you, but while doing so, he was indirectly teasing himself.

Your legs, knees still hunched up to your chest, were thrown over his shoulders, his body weight pinning you down, making sure your tight pussy can’t escape the brutal bullying of his needy cock. He couldn’t have that, no, not after you begged him so sweetly to fuck you so good.

His fingers interlocked with yours, pushing them above your head.

Even his lips were pinned on yours, nipping at the soft flesh and moaning into your mouth, raspy, desperate moans.

“Fuck, ‘m gonna cum. Feels too good baby. Your pussy's so fuckin' good baby.” His cock pulsed inside you, stroking your soft walls with the strained flesh, alerting you to his forthcoming release. You felt so full, so cockdrunk as he pounded into your cunt, claiming it as his once and for all.

“Tell me it’s mine and I’ll let you come,” He panted, over and over. His jealous nature slipping through the cracks, but you didn’t care. This is what you wanted. You wanted him to stop all the bullshitting. Stop all the restraining and fuck you dumb. Any girl in her right mind knew that lipstick was going to transfer. The only way to be sure to get a set lip color, one that wouldn't transfer, is by using a lip stain, that way, you can kiss, suck, and lick all you want and still have pretty red lips at the end of the night. Every girl knew. But not Caleb. No, he didn’t know that this was all part of your plan. All just a scheme to get him to lose control of his jealousy and fuck you like a man, and that he did.

“Yes! Yes! It’s yours, Caleb, this pussy is yours,” You moan, your orgasm bordering on the edge, and when you feel the thick spurts of Caleb’s cum painting your walls, your body trembles uncontrollably as a powerful orgasm rips through you. Your toes curl as you finally get to cum around your new possession. The arch in your back is almost painful the way he has you cumming so good. Deep, guttural groans from him sing in your ear as your tight pussy clenches and pulses around him, sucking him in deeper and claiming what’s yours.

Chasing the aftershocks of his orgasm, his hips rut into you, determined to pump you full of his cum, careful not to spill a drop.

“You know, baby,” Caleb begins, running a hand through his ruffled black hair that had fallen over his face in the heat of your passion. He pushes against the couch, drawing away from your body, yet he doesn't pull out. Why should he? When he's nestled deep in what's his, plugging it full of his creamy, possessive cum. Beads of sweat form on his forehead when he raises himself to hover above you. He reaches just above your head, picking up the lipstick tube that rolled over to the corner of the couch and twists it around in his fingers, examining the design. “I think we have a winner.”

Unbeknownst to him, they were all winners in your heart.

Stepping stones that brought you to this moment.

“Candy Apple it is,” You pant, breathlessly, as you prop yourself up on your elbows and take the tube from him.

— ˗ˋ ୨୧ ˊ˗ — ˗ˋ ୨୧ ˊ˗ — ˗ˋ ୨୧ ˊ˗ — ˗ˋ ୨୧ ˊ˗ — ˗ˋ ୨୧ ˊ˗ —

Caleb's too freaky, I thought of at least 5 other freaky ideas to write about him just writing this. The freakiest of the 5, fr. Anyways, sorry if there's any spelling/grammar errors, I gave up trying to find em halfway through, but you get the gist.

Next up is either Zayne, Rafayel or and OT5 reaction/headcannon!❤️🫶🏽

Please feel free to send requests!💜🫶🏽

[fawninthesnow]

𝐋𝐢𝐭𝐭𝐥𝐞 𝐋𝐚𝐦𝐛: One Shot

𐙚 Leon Kennedy x Fem! Reader 𐙚 18+

Summary: You and your subordinate, Leon, get trapped in an elevator.

Warnings/contains: enemies to lovers, sub! male, dom fem, slow-ish burn, oral (fem reciv!), nipple play, teasing, feet kink, constriction, physical restraints, mentions of past relationship, not proof read-- english is not my first language!

Word Count: 3k // More on my Master list! + follow & reblog pls

He tapped his forefingers on his desk and attempted to avoid eye contact with the clock. ‘Only thirty past one? You must be kidding me!’ He thought to himself as the day seemed to drag by. His right heel bounced on and off the office carpeting. Through the glass windows of your office, and with rather annoyed eyes, you glared at him. At this point, he wasn’t even *pretending* to do work!

‘Leonardo Scott Kennedy!’ You thought as your ears grew warm.

You turned your attention to the man across from your desk. “We will prioritize the hostages when it comes to the press, Admiral Macklemore.”

“It is my understanding that whatever information enters this office…does not leave.”

“In this case, such information will not leave my desk.” The older man chuckled, extending a hand across the desk to you. You shook his hand passionately as you stood.

*

“What are you doing out here?” Leon gasped and quickly hid his lighter and pack of smokes. In the alley beside the office building, you folded your arms, staring down at him. “I asked what you were doing while on MY clock?”

“Yes, I know, I- I just need a break.” He wouldn’t dare try to light his cigarette now that you were here.

“You have just come back from lunch.” The fold of your arms got tighter. “Look, I—Leon. I am trying my best to help you out.” The man leaned back onto the brick wall behind you; your back was turned to him. “Don’t you think you owe me this? For putting you back on your feet?” You asked without looking back at him.

“I’m doin’ what I can, [].”

He pulled the cuffs of his sleeves down and slipped his coat on. You turned around and frowned at Leon. “I want you to go home for the day.”

He rose off the wall, “Wait. I- I’m sorry! But I cannot go home.”

“You are fucking with my image; again. Just go home for the day.” You walked past him and made your way into the office building. He quickly followed you and took your arm into his clutch, “Leon.”

“[Y/n]. Please.” His chest heaved with urgency. Seeing his hurt and confused expression only irritated you. The elevator doors opened, and you hit your heel against the wedge, keeping it open. Your body leaned onto him as you read his expression.

“Let go of me.” You whispered. He pulled from you and stood by your side in the elevator. In silence, you glared at his reflection in the metal doors. He looked at your reflection with shame.

“I wish you would give me a second to explain myself.”

“Tsk.”

He turned to you. “That’s it? That’s all I get?” You continued to face the doors of the elevator, begging them to reach your floor so you could leave. “You don’t exactly make this work environment ‘Leon-friendly’.”

“What an ungrateful thing to say.” A sly smirk on your lips as the elevator doors opened. He moved in front of you and pushed his fingers on the emergency close button. You grumbled as the doors shut once again and began its travel to the first floor upon his request. “What is the meaning of this?”

“You want me to fail.”

You laughed to yourself before a nervous chuckle left your lips. “I- no! Of course not!”

“[Y/n], I am not dumb. You want me to leave the military.” He said gruffly, an annoyed edge to his tone. You stepped back into a corner and folded your arms. “What is your problem?”

“My problem? Hmm, I’d say: my disobedient employee.”

“I am more than that to you, [Y/n].” He swiped his thumb over the corner of your lips. You pulled from him. “We used to be partners.”

You shook your head. “We were *partnered*, there is a difference. You hated working with others. That is why I am—”

“Behind a desk?”

“No! You are. I am head of Security for the—”

“Temporarily. Even so, it means nothing to you. You would rather be in the field too, don’t lie to yourself!” You turned your back to him and pressed every button on the elevator. Anything to make this stop! You lifted your fingers from the buttons and stared at the numbers on the screen. “Look at that…” Leon stood behind you and put his hands in his pockets. Your eyebrows furrowed as the numbers blinked. “You…broke it.”

“W- what? What the fuck?!” Your hair flipped quickly as you turned around to him. “How do we get off?!” He shrugged. “No…no!” You turned over your wrist and read the time on your watch. “I have a meeting!” He said nothing as you panicked and fished in your skirt pocket for your pager.

He watched as your pencil skirt held your waist and pulled with the tug of your fingers. “No service in an elevator.”

“Perfect.” You tapped your heel, “No, this is just perfect! Once again, you have proven yourself as a nuisance!” He rolled his eyes along with you.

On either side of the elevator, you two leaned back onto the wood paneling. Your gaze was on the wall beyond Leon and his eyes were on you. Around fifteen minutes had passed by now and no call to the elevator came. No one knew about the broken elevator nor where you or your subordinate were. “You critique me harshly.” Leon said to break the silence.

“Think of it as my way of looking after you.” You crouched onto the floor and settled your back against the wall once more.

He looked down at you. Even so, from your crouched position, you still held his attention in a chokehold. “That right? Thank you, mommy dearest.” He said with a lick of sarcasm. You smiled and kicked your heel off towards him. He caught the shoe and sat on the floor of the elevator. You observed him as he studied your heel. “Saint Laurent. Six inches…? Why do you need to be so high off the ground? You are tall for a woman.” He tilted his head; blonde hair fell over his eye.

“I do not think of such things when I am shopping.”

“Yeah? Because these are custom.” He turned the shoe to her; the commercial tags were all gone, as well as the label. “So, some thought must’ve been put in.”

You took your shoe back from him. “Do not profile me. I am not your friend. I clear your checks.” You reminded him before turning away from his blue eyes.

“Right.”

Minutes passed and the temperature rose slightly in the elevator. Leon removed his coat and tossed it to the side. You undid the top two buttons of your blouse and fanned yourself. He watched as the flap of your collar rose and fell with the wind created from your hand.

“Would you like me to help?” He glared at your breasts; you weren’t too fond of wearing bras. As you sighed, sweat ran down your tits and to your abdomen where it was caught by your shirt.

“In what way can you be of use, lapdog?” You sighed and stood by the panel of buttons beside the elevator doors. You took off your other shoe and placed it in the corner. His eyes shifted to your feet in your tanned stockings. One heel was lifted and the other planted. “Stop watching me.” You said softly as you used a pen from your blouse to pry at the paneling. His firm and warm bulge pressed on the front of his pants; his hands covered the sight. He squeezed his red knuckles and try to calm his curiosity, his filthy imagination.

He grew warm under his shirt and dropped his gaze. “I apologize.” Leon attempted to stay as still as possible, however, the harder he tried, the more he twitched.

“Come help me.” He rose from off the wall and kneeled beside your legs. “Do your best to fix this.”

He scratched his scalp before revealing the cords. “T- there isn’t much I can do if I- uhm,” You crossed your legs and leaned over him. “A…breaker.” Your hair reached his; your dark hair overlapped his.

“A what?”

“Like uhm, the thing with the rows of switches.”

You rolled your eyes, “You and I both know that you can do something.”

He looked between you and the many wires. “But I don’t. Listen-“ He tried to stand, but lost his balance. You grabbed his arm and held him still. His cock rubbed down in his pants, gently massaging his shaft before he adjusted himself. When you pulled him upright, his sleeves rubbed against your stockings.

“You alright?”

“Yeah, I’m just lightheaded.” You looked up at the ventilation ceiling paneling.

“You’ll be ok.” You rubbed his shoulder. “Just try your best.” He sighed under your touch and relaxed his shoulders. He was used to this when he was partnered with you. Your words of encouragement filled his ears as he worked on whatever task you gave him. He messed with the paneling for a short time before the numbers stopped flashing and the lights to all the floors shut off. He turned to you before the lights of the elevator shut off.

You looked around the elevator before using the light from your pager. “We might be stuck in here for a while longer, Leo.” He turned his gaze to the floor immediately and began to breathe in and out of his mouth. “Relax, I am sure now that the power is out, security will be alerted.”

He covered his mouth as a pant slipped out of him. He leaned back against the wall and observed your face in the light of your pager; the streaming light was a way to see the shape of your body in your curvy shadow. You are feminine like that, alluring in that manner; it was hard to keep his gaze from you. Just the way you filled your clothes; any slick comment would roll off him. He lusted you, still does. It was embarrassing. All this time and yet he still hasn’t fucked you. The guys on the taskforce would clown him for it because fortunately, you weren’t *easy*, and unfortunately, he was.

Say the word, give him the greenlight and he would drop his pants with no hesitation. But it was that part of him you knew and hated so much. You like the chase, the hunger.

*

You sat on the floor, and he stood in the adjacent corner. He managed to relax his bulge and his nerves. There was no saying how long it would be until someone came! He looked at you, your skin looked wet with sweat, some strands of hair stuck along your collarbones, neck and forehead. He noticed hair that stuck to your bosom and how it curled on your unbuttoned blouse.

His own blonde hair stuck to his forehead and down his neck. “How are you feeling?” Your pager rested in the middle of the floor as a beacon.

“Cool as a cucumber.” You muttered. He kneeled by your side and undid the cuffs of your sleeves and rolled them up your arms. “Thank you.”

“Anytime.”

“…I don’t want you to leave the military.” He listened as you undid the cuffs on his sleeves and raised them. “I am making no progress. You’re right. I don’t want to be surrounded by the same things as when I was on the taskforce.”

“Things? You mean me.”

“Whatever I do, I can’t get away from you.” He sat against your wall, and you stood. “That was not an invitation…”

He grumbled, tossing the idea over in his head before giving in to the urge, “Are you seeing anyone?”

You turned your eyes to his strong forearms; the black ink from his tattoos covers his tanned skin. “No.” You folded your arms and turned away. Sweat went down his temples as his head rests on the wall. “Has someone made their unfortunate way into your life?” He could only muster a smile as he scratched his head.

“Lines of ‘em.” He spoke back into your sarcasm. “Did you send for me?”

“Hm?” You turned your attention back to him.

“Did you make the request? For me to be in your office?” You were silent as you watched him closer. His blue eyes peered up at you from his position on the floor. “I’ll take that as a no.” He looked disheveled and you were sure you looked the same. “Contrary to what you believe, I am grateful to be here. I like seeing you every day, [Y/n].” He glared at your thighs, held so gently by the stocking up your legs.

“Oh? That’s interesting.”

“Why are you so…baseline with me?” His eyes flickered to your breasts for the first time in a few minutes.

You laughed, “I keep it simple.” A sigh left your mouth as you wiped sweat from your forehead.

"You’re scared of getting close to me again.” You shook your head and looked at the elevator doors, “You think I’ll abandon you…or not show up like in the field.” You ignored him as if he said nothing. “Talk to me.”

“Jesus, let me out!” You screamed and kicked the elevator doors. Leon stood behind you.

“Stop that.” He pulled your arm and moved you.

“You are insufferable! Let go of me!” He wrapped you in a bear hug from behind, keeping you still. As you kicked around, your feet a few inches off the ground, he grew distracted by your stockings that now had a rip in them, from your ankle and up your thigh. Your skirt raised just enough for him to see the design of the lace around your thighs. “I hate you.”

“No, you don’t.” You looked down at his arms that tightly held your torso. Your breasts rest on top of his tattooed forearms. Your ass rubbed against his pants with no regard for how stimulating that could be. “[Y/n]. Relax.” He moaned softly. “W- We will get out of here soon.” You pried at his hands and kicked him in the leg. He held onto you firmly and stood his ground. “Stop fighting me.”

Leon put you in a corner of the elevator and pressed onto you tightly. After some time, you stopped trying to move from his grip. A few sharp exhales left your mouth as he continued to hold you there. Your breasts pressed against the cold metal wall and your nipples grew sensitive. “…you have a boner.”

Leon checked himself before pulling away from you. “I- I am sorry.”

The pager died and you two’s only light source was now gone. You stood side by side before you reached for his hand. Planting his callused palm on your breast, you trembled.

Leon let out a deep exhale and turned to you. Although he couldn’t see much, he knew your gaze was on him. He felt your hard nipple beneath his touch and began to explore for himself. The man rubbed over your blouse and massaged your breast carefully. It did not take long before he pulled you to him. Your back was to his chest as he took both of your breasts in his hands. The man moaned as you grind your ass slowly over his crotch.

He popped the buttons of your blouse and carefully moved his middle fingers over your nipples. Your hands rest on his knees as he pecks kisses onto your moist skin.

Maybe it was the temperature of the elevator or just the closeness of his body, but your hair began to frizz from the humidity. But something was wrong. This felt…wrong.

When you pulled from him, Leon immediately reached for you again. “Calm down.” His eyes shut as he felt your nails, and gentle fingers on the back of his neck. You pushed him down and he rested on his knees.

Leon gently unzipped the back of your skirt and pulled it off. A deep groan came from his throat when you wrapped a leg around his neck. He buried his face in your panties; his strong nose pushed into the wetness on the lace you wore. “Mhhhh~” His hands caress your ass and hips as he tried to pull down your panties. “Please.” He sounded so pathetic. You usually hated that but this time…his words were like sweet nectar flowing onto you. “Let me take them off,

“No.”

Your reply didn’t discourage him, his hands gripped you tighter as his mouth latched to your cunt. A shivering moan left your lips as he continued. His lips found your clit, gently sucking as you pulsed in his mouth. The lace didn’t discourage him either, eating your cunt through the barrier.

He lost himself in the sounds of your moans and whispers; the taste of your cunt, a slight taste of sweat from your thighs, and the feel of your soft skin in his firm grip. You held onto his hair to keep stable, both of your legs around his neck. Leon helps you up with his shoulders and rose you against the wall. “O- oh, my god~” He tore at your panties with his teeth, his jaw clenched with determination. “L- Leon!” You heard to the fabric rip and felt his tongue dive into your cunt.

His warm and thick tongue made countless passes through you as if trying to milk your pussy of all its juice.  Your eyes fell back into your head; not that he needed to see this, but he could imagine it as you let out those pretty, and breathless moans. If anyone *was* outside the elevator, they could hear you clearly.

When his soft lips grazed up to your clitoris, and left tender kisses, he slowly eased one digit deep inside of you. Your nails dug into his scalp and your thighs closed tighter around his head. “M- more.” You whimpered.

I'm off my hiatus!!

Dom Leon next bc i've been writing both of them at the same time. Tried something new with the feet thing lol.

More on my Master list! + follow & reblog pls

[eelnoise]

pulsewidth (nsfw!)

zoro x fem!reader

masterlist kofi

cw: scent kinks, pussy eating, piv sex on a weight bench idk

an: well, here you go. take my post workout brainrot in fic form. pls ignore any formatting issues i phoneposted this

wc: 1.9k

tagging: @bby-deerling @kaizokuniichan @nina-ya @strawheart-pirate @missmugiwara @sanjisjuul @kibblz-n-bitz @sleepymarimo

You don’t join Zoro for most of his time spent training, but do occasionally bid yourself into the Crow’s Nest to quietly work out alongside him – though far enough away to avoid being the victim of a rogue blade to the gut should you accidentally get too close.

You hum to yourself, generally content in your usual routine that’s become so normal that your mind begins to wander from the monotony of your motions. Even the sounds of Zoro’s blades slashing into a dummy across the room begin to fade into the background and merge with the rhythmic, low rumble of the room’s atmosphere.

Though you're ripped from both your focus and the calm when your ears perk at the sound of your name. You pause your workout, body turning to face Zoro with arms still extended – though your scowl of concentration melts into a relaxed smile as you look at him curiously.

“Do me a favor?” he says, beckoning you over with a wave of his hand once he's sure he has your attention. “D’ya think you could try and dodge some swings?” Zoro asks, motioning to the blades in his hands. "Y'know, kinda like a moving target?"

“Only if you promise not to hurt me!” you tease with a wag of your finger, knowing full well the swordsman would never lay a harmful finger on you.

Zoro rolls his eyes and waves you over again. "I'll try my best to keep 'em to myself," he replies, his gaze glinting with amusement. He shifts his stance, golden earrings clinking together and catching a twinkle in the sunlight – and with two swords at his sides and held at the ready, even the air around him seems to crack with a fierce energy.

"When you're ready," he calls out, waiting for you to position yourself.

You know full well that Zoro's a formidable foe but you’re no slouch in the fighting department either. You circle around him, matching his pace, your own muscles tense and ready.

Zoro makes the first move, his swords slashing out in a blur, the dull edges aimed for your torso. You duck under the first strike just in time, but fail to avoid the second and third. His eyes narrow, his lips curling into a predatory grin as his swords whistle through the air, just brushing past your body.

"Nice dodge," he compliments, spurred on by the challenge you present. He switches tactics, the blades now spinning towards your legs, seeking to knock you off balance. "You move quick."

Sweat runs down your brow, mingling with the salt from your skin as you work to keep up with the swordsman. The air grows thick with the heat of the spar, both bodies dancing in a duet of dodges, near misses, and – when you can't quite keep up with his movements – sharp jabs to your ribs with the dull edge of one of his blades.

The sweat-slicked floor threatens to throw off your footing when you try to dodge a particularly quick swing to the thigh – and it ultimately succeeds in doing so following an unbalanced duck that causes you to slide forward. You spread your arms in a feeble attempt to stay upright, but land face-first into Zoro's bare chest.

Zoro's heart skips a beat as your body collides with his, the wet heat of your skin and the scent of your sweat invading his senses. His swords clatter to the floor, the blades falling from lax fingers as he reaches out to steady you, his hands gripping your waist to keep you from sliding off.

"Not bad," he grunts, the warmth of his body radiating against your own. He loosens his grip, allowing you to stand, but he keeps his hands on your waist, his gaze locked onto yours. "You're improving."

His muscles tense, the urge to wrap you in an embrace almost too strong to resist. Zoro's thumbs brush against the curves of your hips, his grip tight enough to keep you steady, but gentle enough to hint at a desire to explore more.

For a moment, time seems to freeze, and the only thing you can hear is the rapid thump of your heartbeat in your ears. Zoro pulls you closer, his lips meeting yours in a hungry kiss. His tongue flicks against yours, demanding entry as his hands begin to roam, one sliding under your shirt, the other gripping your ass.

Zoro groans, his hand pushing your shirt up to reveal more of your skin. His fingers trail along your sides, lingering over your hip bone and the curve of your waist, the roughness of his skin contrasting with the smoothness of yours.

Your body responds to his, the heat between you intensifying, the air charged with the potency of desire. Zoro's mouth travels down the sensitive skin of your neck, leaving a trail of wet kisses in its wake. He guides you to the weight bench, easing you on it gently – but with the determination of a man who knows what he wants.

His eyes roam over your body, drinking in the sight of your curves, the smoothness of your skin, and the dewy tinge of your breasts. His hands roam to trace their outline, thumb circling your nipples, his touch firm yet gentle.

Zoro’s mouth closes over one of your hardened peaks, sucking gently while his hand cups the other. You arch your back, offering yourself to him, your breath hitching as pleasure begins to spiral throughout your body.

You gasp out his name, fingers finding the length of his toned back as his heavenly ministrations continue. Your body trembles under his touch, each sensation a path to the aching core between your legs.

He releases you with a soft pop before trailing kisses down your body, his gaze never leaving yours. As he reaches the waistband of your shorts, your breathing grows more erratic, the anticipation of what's to come nearly unbearable.

Zoro watches as your eyes flutter shut, the motions of his mouth and hands eliciting soft moans from you. He hooks his thumbs under your shorts and – with the aid of your hips and thighs raising upward – slides them down your thighs.

He spreads your legs wide, his fingers trailing between them and teasing the sensitive skin of your inner thighs. He inhales deeply, his nostrils flaring as he takes in the heady scent of your arousal, His finger slips under your panties and pulls them aside before sliding you down the bench and closer to his mouth. Large hands settle on your hips as he buries his face between your legs, his tongue tasting your folds in long strokes.

Zoro takes hold of one of your legs, hooking it over his shoulder to give him better access to your core. He grins against your skin, his lips brushing against the sensitive flesh, his breath warm and heavy. "So sweet," his lust-drenched voice growls into your ear.

Zoro's tongue flickers against you, the sensation sending shivers down your spine. His fingers graze over your entrance, and in an instant he fills you with two large fingers, making you gasp out in pleasure.

Zoro's tongue circles your clit while his fingers plunge in and out, the rhythm quick and deliberate, each curl that brushes up against the sweet spot inside of you. His gaze fix on your face, watching the expressions flicker across it, drinking in the sight of your pleasure – and with a final, skilled flick of his tongue and a deep thrust of his fingers, you cry out in bliss, your body convulsing as pleasure claims you, overwhelming your senses in a glorious wave of delirium.

Zoro continues to worship you, lapping up your essence until your body calms and your breathing returns to normal. He slips from between your legs, and he rises, his eyes dark with lust. "Fuck," he mutters, adjusting himself to hurriedly tug his pants down, releasing his thick, precum-beaded cock to the hot air of the nest.

"Hold onto me," he says as his grip takes hold of the backs of your thighs. It's a suggestion, but it's the only warning you'll get. He positions himself at your entrance, cock nudging against you. And with a firm but controlled motion, he pushes into you, stretching you wide and filling you full. His lips find yours once more, his tongue invading your mouth with the same ferocity he uses to claim your body.

Zoro groans into your throat, the sound rumbling through your body as he begins to thrust, his hips moving in a steady, driving rhythm. His fingers dig into your thighs, holding you in place tightly while his cock slides in and out with wet, satisfying slaps.

The rocking of his hips becomes more insistent, his movements growing more urgent, his cock hitting all the right spots to keep you on the edge of ecstasy. His breath grows harsher, the beat of his heart pounding against your chest, your bodies moving in harmony.

Zoro's hand slides between the two of you, thumb finding your clit to rub in circles, the motion in perfect sync with his thrusts. The building heat within you flares, the edge of another orgasm sprawling at your senses.

His movements grow more erratic, his thrusts more desperate and fierce, his grip on your waist tightening, his free hand working your clit with a skill that borders on obsessive.

"Zoro!" you gasp out, your body tensing as the pleasure spirals out of control. His name is a plea, a demand, for him to keep going, to not stop, to let you reach that peak.

He exhales sharply as he feels you tighten around him, the slick, wet heat of your sex milking his cock. "Already?" he muses as if he isn’t about to burst as well. His thrusts grow more frenzied, the look in his eyes a mix of lust and possessiveness.

With no time to consider a reply, your orgasm crashes over you – body shuddering and pussy clenching hard around him. Zoro growls, his thrusts becoming more erratic as he nears his own release. With one last, hard plunge, he lets out a guttural cry, his cock pulsating as he fills you with his seed.

He collapses onto you, his chest heaving as he struggles to catch his breath, his lips brushing against your neck, his voice a ragged whisper. "Damn, girl," he mutters, the sharp edge of his tone helping to snap you back into reality.

"What do you mean 'damn, girl'?" You retort with a faux whine and a playful hit to his shoulder. "That was all you, I just went along with it."

"Well, you're a distraction," He chides with a smirk, coiling his arms around you before rolling you atop him. Zoro holds you to him closely, his cheek nestling down into your hair.

You grin, nestling against the warmth of Zoro's chest, the weight of his arm around you a comforting anchor. “Yeah, well, things happen," you reply with an impish grin of your own while your fingers begin trailing up and down the sides of his torso.

Zoro's arm tightens, his fingers linking with yours as you trail them along his skin. "I'm not complainin'," he murmurs, smiling into you.

The two of you lie there, breath in tandem and slowing from exertion. The rise and fall of his chest threatens to lull you into slumber, and you almost let it do so – though you think better of it due to the awkward position that someone else may find the two of you in.

"Take a bath with me, stinky," You say, tilting your chin up to him. "C'mon."

Zoro chuckles at your quip, the sound gentle and amused, before giving a playful nudge to your side. "Alright, stinky.” He says, lifting you up and off of him. “Lead the way."

[fallenprophets]

midnight, lose my mind

rust cohle x reader

» can be read as a prequel or sequel to televangelism but doesn't have to be

» summary: although you and rust have been "together" for a while now, you've never kissed- and you're perfectly fine with this fact. only now, he seems to want to try.

» warnings: mentions of sex but that's it

» a/n: soooo self indulgent. literally don't know what came over me when i wrote this. listened to lorde and sydney ross mitchell on LOOP. yk. like a normal person

»»»»

I’m not sure how or when our relationship evolved into what it is now. It feels like only yesterday that the most intimate contact with him that I had was the moment our eyes met for a split second across the room; I was lucky if he held my gaze long enough to blink that slow blink of his. And yet here he is, all pretty and domestic, almost, sitting on my bed, shirt buttons undone, hair messy. He’s watching me where I sit on the windowsill, occasionally taking those deep drags of his from a cigarette before passing it to me. I can’t really remember when he first came over; first stayed the night. It just happened, so natural. I just know that now he’s almost always here; and when he’s not, I’m usually at his, borrowing his shirts, smoking his cigarettes. 

He hasn’t kissed me yet, though. That’s something that I think I would remember; I’ve looked at his mouth so much, ached for it. I don’t push it, though. Like him- maybe love him- too much to lose him over something so trivial. He’s done other things for me- after a few weeks, I noticed that I never ran out of cigarettes. When he came over, the dishes crowding my sink would miraculously disappear; dust stopped settling on the piles of books scattered around the living room. I found the other day that the empty first-aid kit I still keep in my bathroom had been filled. He’s even stopped smoking his usual brand of cigarettes, replaced them with the ones I said I liked. 

I don’t say anything; I don’t know if he wants me to notice, if he wants me to point it out, to thank him. For now, I enjoy it. If I’m honest with myself, I still worry that it could end at any minute; that he’ll leave before I wake up, and I’ll only see him at work, when we exchange files. 

It’s hard to believe that, though; because when I come into work, at exactly the same time every day, I find my favourite mug on my desk, filled with coffee- coffee the way I like it, with no sugar but just a little cocoa powder that I buy myself (although that has also magically stopped emptying). It’s real nice, actually. To have someone care for me in that way- to know that when I say something, like how I like my coffee or what my favourite brand of cigarettes is, he’ll file it away into a corner of his brain. 

He told me about his wife, too, the other day. I hadn’t asked; we’d been sitting in his truck, his hand on my thigh, and he’d just mentioned it, told me about his baby girl. 

I’ve never been a particularly optimistic person, but something in me knows that he won’t leave.

I shift, readjust the collar of my top. He’s still watching me in that strange way of his; like he’s trying to read my mind, to learn everything about me through the way I breathe. Not for the first time, I find myself wishing that I could reach through those murky eyes and into his mind, take out his thoughts and wrap myself in them. 

He extends an arm, and I pluck the cigarette- the packet, my favourite brand, sits next to him on the bed- from between his fingers, taking a long drag. My stomach feels strange at the feeling; it’s the closest I’ve come so far to kissing him. 

“What’re you thinkin’ about?” I ask, handing his cigarette back. A routine question, at this point in our relationship. He usually answers with something vague, sometimes that would make Marty flip, and I listen, silent, fascinated. Sometimes, I don’t even register what he’s saying; too busy watching the way his mouth moves, his throat, the slope of his shoulders; dissecting him in my mind. 

“You,” he answers after a brief pause. His gaze has fastened itself to my collarbone. 

My heart hops and skitters like a rabbit. As a teenager, I was convinced the whole butterflies-in-your-belly thing was bullshit, but I think I understand it now. 

I swallow and tilt my head at him, try to read the lines of his face in the soft light. I don’t ask him to elaborate; I like the idea of him thinking about me, of what he’s thinking exactly being his secret. Like a little piece of me, always with him. 

It’s early spring; everything is greener outside, the sun a softer shade of gold. A light breeze blows in through the open windows, stirring the curtains, his hair. I tuck my knee up, rest my chin on him as I keep staring. I’m not hiding it anymore; not the way I used to. Back when we hardly knew each other, when all we had was brief flashes of charged eye contact across the precinct and a whole lotta wantin’, Now, he’s sitting on my bed, and he’s staring at me, so I may as well return the favour. 

I don’t know how long we sit there, just looking. We’ve done it before; often, in fact, we sit in silence, taking each other in. It makes me feel the way I used to feel when I kissed someone, only much heavier, bone-deep. I joked, once, as he drove me home- windows open, cigarette between his teeth, one hand resting on my thigh- that it was our way of having sex. He’d exhaled, almost a laugh. 

Now, he puts the cigarette out in the ashtray sitting on my bed and stands. I move to do the same, swinging my legs down from the windowsill, reaching for the handle to shut the windows. Already, I assume he’s going to leave, go back to his place to beat himself up, maybe. But instead, he motions for me to stop. I do; pull my knees back up to my chest again, push the window open further. 

He sits, and automatically I stretch my legs out, rest one across his lap, the other around his waist. Automatically, he puts a hand on my thigh, rubs it with his thumb. He shifts, and his eyes meet mine, dark and murky yet so, so clear; windows into his soul, I think. 

I open my mouth to say his name, but he shakes his head. He reaches out, his hand cupping my face. His fingers find my pulse, like a reflex. He does it when we’re alone; when we’re sitting in his truck, sometimes, he’ll reach out to press his hand to my neck, feel my pulse. 

His other hand leaves my leg and goes to my throat, resting at the nape of my neck. His skin is warm, and he smells like cigarettes and my sheets. I have a lingering suspicion that the shirt he’s wearing is mine. My downstairs neighbour turns on the radio; a song starts playing, too quiet to hear the words. His mouth is pressed into a thin line, his jaw tight. 

I stay completely silent, try to control my breathing as he manoeuvres us closer to each other, until our foreheads touch. I’m painfully aware of every inch of my body that’s in contact with his; of the fact that he can feel how fast my heart is beating under his calloused fingers, that his breathing is really just as shallow as mine. His presence is warm, comforting. I give in to him immediately, even nudge closer so that our noses bump. I want to close my eyes, so I do; I wonder if he feels my eyelashes against his cheekbone, if it makes him feel a certain way. I think he closes his eyes too, at some point. 

After a few moments of this, I lift my hands from where they are in my lap. Half-open my eyes to find the collar of his shirt. I reach up, trace his chest through the few open buttons. Then I begin to undo them, tug the shirt (my shirt, I’m sure of it now- there’s a pale stain on the cuff from when I broke my nose a few years ago, where a bit of blood dripped) off his shoulders. He lets go of my face just for a moment to take it off fully, never really opening his eyes. I let my fingers trace his shoulders, the dip of his collarbone. Feel the way they rise and fall almost imperceptibly as he breathes, the way his heart beats as I press my hand flat against his chest. 

We’ve never slept together. I don’t mind it, and neither does he, I think- we have other ways of being intimate. It’s the first time he’s ever done something like this, though. Initiated this kind of physical contact.

It’s better than any kiss I’ve ever had; from anyone. It’s personal, it’s intimate, it’s for us only. 

Finally, after what feels like hours of just breathing each other in (at some point, his thumb has started to trace circles on my cheekbone; I shudder when it does, and his breath catches almost unnoticeably for a moment) he shifts, his forehead leaving mine. I’m taken aback by the way it makes me feel; the ache deep in my chest, the way my throat tightens. 

His gaze drops, for the first time ever, to my mouth. 

Somehow, I know that he’s going to kiss me, now. 

I open my mouth, to tell him that he doesn’t have to, that I don’t need him to; but the words die on my tongue as he breaks the small gap between us, pressing his mouth to mine. 

I’m not sure exactly why, but I’d always thought he would kiss harshly, hungrily, maybe a little desperate. I’d pictured him bruising my lips, tugging at my clothes. But no- the way he kisses me is unlike anything I’d pictured. It’s soft, slow, and yes, maybe a little hungry- but not the way I had predicted. He kisses the same way he talks- slow, soft- and it makes me a little breathless. 

I press my hands to the flat of his back, pulling him closer. He pulls away for a moment, just long enough to say my name almost reverently, his thumb dragging across my cheekbone before pulling his away to trace the lines of my mouth. I smile, take his hand in mine to kiss his fingertips. He cups my face again, and I lean into the palm of his hand, suddenly hungry for his warmth, for his touch. He kisses the corner of my mouth, then moves down; slow, methodical, featherlight touches of his lips across my jaw, down my throat. He stops at the center of my collarbone, kisses it. I press my nose into his hair, breathe him in, smile despite myself. 

He comes back up, kisses me on the mouth again. Then he pulls away for good, untangles himself from my legs, stands, takes a few steps away. I stay where I am, wrapping my arms around myself. The absence of his touch, so sudden, is almost painful in a pathetic way. I watch him; I can tell he’s sifting through a thousand different thoughts. My mouth, my neck, my collarbone; all still tingle from the warm, almost feverish touch of his lips. 

He sits down on the bed again, runs a hand through his hair. Finally, I stand too, walk over, sit next to him. I shift to rest my head on his shoulder; his arm finds its place around my waist. I feel him rest his cheek on my head, take a deep breath. 

“What’re you thinkin’ about?” I ask again, still breathless. 

“You.” The answer comes quickly; he doesn’t hesitate this time. And he shifts, his eyes meeting mine. He holds my gaze. 

“You stayin’ the night?” I don't feel stupid saying it, like I did the first time I asked to stay over at his. I feel comfortable, because I already know what his answer is.

“Yes.” Again, he says it quickly, like he was hoping I’d ask. I reach over to thread my fingers through his. His skin is warm. I wonder if he can feel my pulse where our hands touch.