#if i cant reach you let my song teach you

[criticalbeauregard]

i know we all knew she was death for weeks but rewatching the ep 4 scene with confirmation just knocked the wind out of me. the way agatha is looking at and holding and leaning in to kiss DEATH. the way she grabs her face so gently. i need to lay down for 10000 years.

[idkwhatever580]

“IF I CANT REACH YOU, LET MY SONG TEACH YOU, ALL YOU NEED TO KEEP OUR LOVE ALIVE!!!

IF I CANT HOLD YOU, REMEMBER WHAT I TOLD YOU, ITS THE ONLY WAY WE SURVIVE!!!”

Now sing that in Nicky’s voice. Do it.

[atheliacs]

Anyone else be going about their day with this one section of Ballads of the witches road booming around their skulls:

IF I CANT REACH YOU

LET MY SONG TEACH YOU

ALL YOUVE GOT TO KEEP OUR LOVE ALIVEEE

IF I CANT HOLD YOU

REMEMBER WHAT I TOLD YOU

ITS THE ONLY WAY WE SURVIVE

WE SURVIVVVEEEEE

Just me? Alright 😍

[drvirgus]

The Idol who Cant Smile

Minji X fem! Reader

Description: You are the oldest Member of New Jeans, but Fans Never saw you Smile once. Why don't you Smile? Who's the Person that can bring back a smile to your Face?

Chapter 1:

"Can you smile too?" asked the cameraman as he peered through the lens of the camera. But when I didn't comply with his instructions, he let the camera drop slightly and looked at me. His forehead furrowed in confusion. I offered a slight bow as an apology. "I'm sorry. I won't smile," I replied politely. The older man hesitated for a few seconds.

"Not even a little one?" he asked, adjusting the camera again. He waited for some movement from me. I forced a small, barely noticeable smile. However, he only took one photo before removing the camera again. He sighed, "No, no. It's okay. Your serious face has something special too. Go back to looking normal," he said. I immediately did as he asked.

It didn't take too long for all the photos to be taken. I bowed once again and stepped aside. My manager handed me an already open bottle of water. "Thank you," I said, taking a sip from the bottle.

But my attention was quickly drawn to the fashion designer, who was approaching me with a wide smile. I hadn't been the Ambassador of the Tommy Hilfiger brand for very long, so I wasn't here often. Nevertheless, it seemed that the elderly man had taken a liking to me.

Mr. Hilfiger opened his arms to embrace me, and I returned the embrace. His hand gently brushed over my hair as he smiled kindly at me. "I'm glad to see you here, my child," he said, looking me straight in the eyes after letting me go. He chuckled softly, "You promised me last time that you'd teach me the new choreography," he said.

I blinked several times and nodded my head. "Let's get started then," I said. I proceeded to show him the short choreography for our song "Super Shy." After several attempts, he got the hang of it. He laughed joyfully, causing my face to relax completely.

With a smile, he led me to the glass door, continuing to ask me questions. Just before we parted ways, he handed me a bag and smiled at me. I bowed in thanks, which only made him laugh. With a smile, he said that I could always reach out to him if I needed anything.

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Sighing, I took a sip from my beer. I was currently at a restaurant with my fellow members, and of course, everything was being filmed. Since the others weren't yet 21 years old, they couldn't order alcoholic drinks here in America. Haerin stared at me with her cat-like eyes. Thanks to her, I knew what it was like to have a little sister who always stared at you.

I remained mostly silent as the others engaged in conversation. They kept laughing throughout the meal. When I finished my food, or rather, when I was full, I pushed my plate towards Hyein, who had previously mentioned that she was still hungry.

With a wide grin, she looked at me. "Thank you, Unnie," she said, sweet as sugar. I nodded my head, a small smile forming on my face. I didn't smile. Honestly, I didn't even know why or when it started... Eventually, I just couldn't smile anymore, no matter how happy I felt.

Hanni had teased me about it often. She would pull up my cheeks to make my mouth form a smile. Even though I was older than her! But I didn't mind. I also didn't really like being called "Unnie" when the age difference wasn't too big. But in front of the camera, they all had to call me that.

"No, no. I've told you before. None of the books say that dinosaurs were the first animals in the world," Danielle said. She waved her fork around as she spoke in her Australian-accented English. Hanni sighed in response and shook her head.

Haerin continued to stare at me. I looked at her. "Don't look at me like that. You're not getting a sip," I said as I picked up my beer again to take a drink. Haerin, however, continued to stare, which was starting to frustrate me. Minji, right next to me, chuckled softly. She nudged me gently with her elbow and smiled at me.

"She doesn't want a sip. She's just looking at you," Minji laughed, looking at me. I turned my head to Minji. "I know. She should stop," I said, which only made Minji laugh more. She then turned her head back to Haerin. "Stop looking like that. You're making Y/N Unnie nervous," Minji playfully scolded, causing me to roll my eyes.

Finished with my beer, I rested my head on my hand and looked at each of my members. I focused on the conversation between Danielle and Hanni, with Minji chiming in occasionally. Hanni and Danielle seemed almost like they were arguing. But I let them. They were just having a conversation.

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Now we were in the living room of our 4-room apartment. We all stared at the phones in front of us as we were doing a live broadcast together. Hanni had her own phone too and played the live broadcast on silent so she could read the comments more easily. Hanni looked up suddenly and grinned mischievously.

With a swift motion, she wrapped her arms around my neck, and her lips pressed onto my cheek. But, to be honest, I didn't mind. I just stayed quiet and looked at the camera. Hyein laughed at this. "Is Hany/n sailing?" Danielle asked, laughing into the camera.

"What's this all about?" I asked as I looked at Hanni. She just grinned widely. "There was a comment asking me to kiss you," she replied, and I nodded in understanding. Haerin stared into the camera, her eyes moving as she read the comments. I turned my head back to the camera. My arms were around Danielle, who had her hands on my arms, playing with them.

Eventually, Danielle was sitting right in front of me on the floor. Hanni sat next to me, and Minji was next to her. The younger members were all seated on the floor as well.

"Y/N... a fan asked why you never smile," Haerin asked, turning her head to me. Her eyes also looked quite curious. Even Danielle and Hanni had stopped nudging each other. Now everyone was looking at me curiously. None of them had ever asked me. Somehow... they seemed afraid of what my answer might be.

I looked at the camera. "I don't want to give you a fake smile. I smile when... I do," I replied, nodding my head. I quickly licked my lips. "I'm sorry if I come across as distant because of that," I added, slightly bowing. Danielle leaned against me even more. She tilted her head back until her head touched my knees. She looked at me and immediately smiled encouragingly.

"That was well said. Unnie doesn't want to give us a fake smile, isn't that sweet?" Hyein said, laughing. But Minji had been looking at me the whole time. Her lips were pressed together. Hanni, however, interrupted Minji's gaze as she leaned forward. Minji then looked at the camera and smiled broadly. "But that doesn't mean Unnie doesn't love us or you. She shows it through her gestures," Minji added, and Haerin immediately looked at Minji.

Hanni laughed. "Oh, yes. Remember when Hyein was sick? Unnie acted like Hyein was on her deathbed," Hanni said, laughing, causing the others to laugh too. Almost immediately, everyone recounted a situation where I had taken care of them. But I just looked at the person who was speaking. Slightly embarrassed, I quickly looked away.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

My forehead furrowed. In my hand was the angrily looking panda plush toy. I looked at the fan who gave it to me. She chuckled slightly, embarrassed, as she scratched her cheek. "I immediately thought of you when I saw it in the store," she said, and I nodded in understanding. I examined the panda closely.

"Thank you. That's really sweet, and somehow it fits me perfectly. But next time, don't give me anything. I don't want you to spend your hard-earned money on me. But... thank you. I really appreciate it," I said. The woman looked at me with wide eyes, and her smile widened even more.

"What's your name?" I asked as I set the panda on my lap. Almost immediately, my manager wanted to take it from me, which I declined with a furrowed brow. I looked back at my fan as I picked up the pen. "Kim Chaesoo," she replied, and I nodded. I quickly left a small message for her and signed it immediately.

I handed it over to her, and she practically burst with joy. "Thank you for coming. Hopefully, I'll see you next time?" I asked, and she nodded vigorously. Her cheeks even turned pink. She walked away from me afterward. My eyes then turned to the others.

Many gifts were on the table, while I only received 1. But I didn't mind at all. Unlike the others, I didn't have as many fans. But that didn't bother me. The fans I did have seemed to genuinely like me with all their hearts, and that was enough for me.

Maybe... should I smile? Would it make the others happy? But... I haven't smiled for years. More than a smirk... I just couldn't manage it. My face would always tense up when I tried to smile. Even when I laughed, I had the habit of covering my mouth with my hand.

The reason? Only one came to mind...

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Yuna (18:21): Come to the JYP building. Let's have a drink!!!

My eyebrows raised as I read the message on my phone. I was sitting on the couch in our apartment. Hanni, who was right next to me, looked at my phone and then at me. "Minjiiiii," she exclaimed. My mouth opened, and I immediately placed my hand over her mouth to make her stop tattling.

Unfortunately, Minji had already heard her. She came into the living room with a drying cloth, apparently just finishing washing dishes and drying her hands. "What's going on?" she asked, furrowing her brow as she looked at me holding Hanni's mouth shut. Minji's forehead furrowed, and she looked between me and Hanni.

"Unnie," Minji said, so I looked at her. She smiled. "Let go of Hanni," she requested, and I hesitated slightly. After a sigh, I released Hanni. I stood up and grabbed my phone, which had fallen onto the floor.

Yuna (18:23): Lia and I miss you a lot

My breath caught as I read the message that just lit up on my phone. I felt my face heat up. I cleared my throat. "Unnie wants to go to the JYP building to have drinks with Itzy," Hanni said, pointing at me. Angrily, I looked at Hanni. "Tattletale!" I exclaimed. Hanni laughed and stuck her tongue out at me.

"But you wanted to go alone. I want to know why... you'd rather be with th- Why you always go to them," Hanni said. She crossed her arms over her chest. Surprised, my eyebrows raised. I looked at the younger girl. "Do you... want to come?" I asked, and immediately, Hanni jumped up. "I'll change real quick!" she said, heading to the bedroom.

My eyes fell on Minji, who was just looking at me. I blinked. "Do you... want to come too?" I asked, and Minji smiled. "No, thank you. Someone should at least keep an eye on the three of them," the dark-haired girl said. Almost immediately, my forehead furrowed. I shook my head. "Just as I don't treat you like a baby, you shouldn't treat the others like that either," I replied, and Minji snorted while laughing.

She approached me with a light laugh. My eyes traveled upwards as she was much taller than me. Unfortunately, I was the oldest, but still the smallest. I was even shorter than Hanni! Only by 1 centimeter, but still...

"You're my biggest baby," she said, almost breathlessly. My eyes widened as I saw her grin. My mouth opened, but no sound came out. Shortly after, I felt the drying cloth on my face as she had placed it over my head. When I removed it, I noticed Minji looking to the side.

Surprised, I simply stared at her with my mouth agape. "I-I'm not a baby," I replied, furrowing my brow. Minji laughed softly. She took the drying cloth again. She smiled at me. "Have fun, Unnie," the taller girl said and took a few steps away from me. She went back into the kitchen.

Hanni came out of the bedroom, completely changed. "We can go," she said with a wide grin. I nodded my head. I looked into the kitchen for a moment, noticing Minji continuing to wash dishes. Then we left the apartment, with Hanni right beside me.

"But you won't drink," I warned, and Hanni immediately looked at me. "I'm 19," she replied, and my eyebrows raised. "Not yet. Only in October," I replied, and Hanni immediately put on her puppy eyes. She pouted. "Come on. The Korean age still applies," Hanni argued. My eyes narrowed as I sighed.

"But not too much!" I said, and Hanni was immediately pleased. We celebrated my birthday in America, where I turned 21. It was still May 4th, to be exact. Minji's birthday was coming up soon...

What should I get her as a gift?

[little-missobsessed]

IF I CANT REACH YOU 🔥‼️🗣️🗣️🗣️ LET MY SONG TEACH YOU ‼️‼️🔥🔥🔥🗣️ ALL YOU NEED TO KEEP OUR LOVE ALIVEEEEEE ‼️🗣️

IF I CANT HOLD YOU 🗣️🗣️🗣️🔥🔥🔥🔥‼️‼️ REMEMBER WHAT I TOLD YOU 🗣️‼️‼️🔥🔥🔥 ITS THE ONLY WAY WE SURVIVE 🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️ WE SURVIVEEEEEEE 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥‼️‼️‼️‼️

[a-dauntless-daffodil]

argh NO the feelings of listening to Make A Man Out Of You for the millionth time and having it sink in that Shang goes through ALL the emotions as he sings it and he gets his own little character arc

like it's a montage of Mulan coming into her own for the very first time and the soldiers learning to work together with their strengths-

and it's also Shang, singing the song, singing his parts SEPPERATE from the chorus, drowning them out-

him the captain, alone at the top, leading and guiding, determined to prove himself and be out there on the field to help his father- him starting out so full of CONFIDENCE and conviction yes he WILL make a man out of you! (somehow) sharing his idea of what a man is: BALANCE. Tranquil and on fire. it's finding your center, you place inside yourself

but then the soldiers all sing and they're begging for their lives under his training, hopeless, the mood isn't we're in this together it's i am going to die die die die hey lets throw rocks at ping- ping is even worse than the rest of us we all hate ping

Shang's sings again and there's desperation now, heed my every order and you MIGHT survive-

he's not hoping to train the best army ever anymore, he's scared he'll lead people to their death because he Cant Train Them right, he's running out of time to get them ready,

And this is the moment he tells Ping / Mulan to go home. his darkest hour in the song, him giving up, him admitting HE'S failed

how could i ever make a man out of you? Not, how could YOU ever be a man- how could /I/ ever make you one! Maybe Ping could be a great soldier, but Shang can't teach it

(am i reaching? maybe. i dont care)

He blames himself. A bad teacher, he thinks. but he will not send someone who can't fight into a war just to die

(a good captain)

Ping would've just been the first one he sent home, im sure

Mulan CAN'T go home though, for her HERSELF she can't do it- her father is safe now and she has a way out but no No NO, she climbs the pole to reach the arrow as the song climbs with her,

Shang's voice tenses with this sort of desperate hope and wonder as he hits the last note, as she throws down the arrow, as he looks up and sees-

she got there using both weights, using BALANCE. His teachings-

but he didn't teach Ping that

And finally. FINALLY

shang sings with the chorus

the instruments drop away and it's just voices, Shang in lead yes, but the soldiers are with him now. or maybe it's him finally being with them?

Mulan's example brought them together. Her, Ping's success, wasn't just a victory for new recruits- it was the moment SHANG saw he could be a good teacher, a good captain

with help.

he gave Mulan room to try herself, he showed her basics, cared more about Ping's safety than his own ego- told Ping go home, -I- can't teach you. I have failed. He left the door open for Ping to teach himself

remember the chorus? "Be a man" -it's a CHORUS it's NEVER sung alone

(like shang has been singing)

A man isn't singular. He isn't separate. Isn't alone.

He is the moment the whole camp looks up and CHEERS to see the weakest one of them make it to the top

a man is that last shot, all of them together, moving as one

their center isn't something they hold inside themselves. None of them start winning until they turn their focus outward and find their center in the people around them- they come into their own when they see ANYONE even PING can be a man

and Shang needed to see that too

that shot of him running with soldiers and Ping at lead is the visual version of that last chorus line

he started out wanting to make men out of these guys, he ended up learning to be one of the men himself instead

and i think ive fried my brain

[bordysbae]

please please do alex turcotte “ let me teach you how to skate ” i think it would be such a cute story !!

“don’t be afraid”

alex turcotte x hughes reader

omg i’ve been waiting for someone to request not only something with my baby alex but also this prompt, i love this prompt sm!! btw this takes place during his usntdp era :))

this is just fiction and i know that no one in the hughes family goes with out knowing how to skate i just needed a plot line lolz

word count: 1.3k

—

you and alex have always been flirty with one another, but of course your twin brother jack never really liked that. alex is a good guy, so jack never comments on the fact you and alex are so clearly into each other. honestly, the only thing holding you and alex back from dating, is the fact that neither of you can see you’re interested in each other.

“guys i’m bored can we go ice skating” trevor speaks up, pausing the tv. “coach would kill us if we snuck in, plus how would we even get in?” cole says. “not that rink dummy! the public one. it’s only open for a couple more weeks and i really want to go” trevor states.

“trevor you do realize you can’t just go freely skating around, there’s little kids skating too you’ll like crash into them and crush them!” jack exclaims making everyone laugh, including trevor. “yes i know that dingbat” trevor rolls his eyes chucking a throw pillow from the recliner at jack.

“i think we should go!” alex says, removing his head from your shoulder. “yeah you guys can go, i’m staying here.” you state, snuggling closer into the blanket you and alex are sharing. “what why? you’re coming with us, i don’t make the rules” alex shrugs. “shes like, really bad at skating” jack chuckles, earning an elbow in the rib from you. “YOU WHAT? YOU CANT SKATE?” trevor laughs, pointing a finger at you. “shut up zegras!” you blush hiding your face in the blanket from embarrassment.

“you’re telling me, y/n hughes, the sister to three hockey player brothers, doesn’t know how to ice skate?!” cole chuckles. “shut up cole! you’re 5’7 don’t even speak!” “i’m still taller than you” he shrugs. “yeah see this is why i think you guys should go and i’ll stay here” you smile, reaching for the remote. unfortunately jack gets to it before you, and snatches it off of the table. “you’re coming with us, go get changed out of your sweats” jack says as he pushes you off the couch gently. “ugh you guys are annoying” you roll your eyes as you get up to walk to your room.

you change into flare leggings and a thick crewneck you stole from quinn. you walk back into the living room and see the guys putting on their shoes, and you do the same. “alright ready?” jack asks everyone, as he grabs his car keys. “i call shot gun!” trevor yells making everyone groan. “i deserve shot gun! it’s my car too!” you roll your eyes. “oh you’ll be fine in the back with coley and turcs” “you’re sitting in the middle by the way.” cole smiles at you as he pats your shoulder before running into the garage.

the drive to the rink consists of you on aux playing your favorite songs, as you all scream the lyrics. you and alex’s song comes on, and you both start singing in each others faces, pretending your hands are microphones. out of the corner of your eye, you see cole, trevor, and jack all share glances at each other with smirks on their lips, but you just shrug it off. once you guys arrive at the rink trevor is quick to scurry over to get his skates, leaving you four still walking over to the booth. “hurry up you slow pokes!” trevor groans, making you all laugh.

obviously the boys get their skates on way faster than you, since you’re not one hundred percent sure if you’re tying them correctly. “y/n hurry up you’re so slow, i wanna go ice skating!” trevor whines like a child, making everyone laugh. “you guys go, i’ll tie her skates for her” alex says, as the other three boys share another sly glance, before nodding and getting onto the ice.

alex gets down onto one knee and begins tying your skates for you. “alex it looks like you’re proposing to me” you chuckle. “what if i am?” he laughs, making you laugh even harder. “m’lady, will you make me the happiest man alive and take my hand in marriage?” alex says in a horrible british accent. “oh alex, of course!” you say also in a horrible accent. you and alex catch your breath from the laughs, and alex finishes tying your skates for you.

“alright you ready?” he says as he holds out his hand for you to take as a guide for getting off of the bench. “alex i’m scared” you admit, a little embarrassed. “don’t be afraid, i got you. you can hold onto me, i’ll guide you” he smiles and you nod, as you interlock arms. he leads you both onto the ice and you immediately grab onto the wall. “let’s do one lap with you on the wall to get you used to the feeling, but i promise it’s so much easier without the wall” “alex i’m gonna bust my ass if i don’t use the wall!” you cry out. “no you won’t, i won’t let you fall i promise” he chuckles. you guys begin your lap as you’re still clinging onto the wall for dear life. trevor, jack, and cole are all chasing each other around the ice, lapping you and alex horrendously.

“aww look guys it’s little grandma y/n!” cole exclaims as he, trevor, and jack all slow down next to you guys skating at your guys’ same pace. “here alex i’ll take y/n for another lap, you go have fun for a second” trevor says. “hey he’s having fun with me!” you argue. “oh yeah definitely” jack says sarcastically. “i’m having plenty of fun don’t worry” alex reassures you, with a little chuckle. “cmon, let’s switch places man, go have some freedom” trevor says as he removes alex’s arm from yours and links his with yours.

the three boys skate away and trevor looks at you. “when are you gonna tell him, y/n” “tell him what?” you ask, genuinely confused. “we all know you like him, and it’s so obvious he likes you. why don’t you just tell him?” “it’s not that simple trevor. he’s one of my best friends, i don’t want to ruin that” “cmon, don’t be stupid, it won’t ruin anything.” trevor says nudging you, making you wobble. “trevor! you’re gonna make me fall!” you laugh.

“so alex, when are you gonna ask her out?” cole says. “what?” alex says, almost choking on air. “you heard the man, when are you gonna ask my sister out?” jack nudges alex’s shoulder. “uh, i don’t know? she doesn’t like me like that” alex says, making jack and cole burst out laughing. “you’re funny turcs” cole says. “i’m not joking?” “she’s whipped for you bud, she’s my twin i can tell. honestly everyone can tell, you guys act like a couple already anyways” jack says. “oh look, trevor’s about to make her bust her ass so i gotta go save her before the man kills her” alex excuses himself from the conversation.

alex comes back to help you skate, as trevor goes back over to the other two boys on the other end of the rink. “okay get off of the wall now, it’s been too long.” “alex i’m gonna fall!” “no you won’t i promise, take my hands” he says as you do what he says. alex suddenly starts spinning you around slowly and you start freaking out. “alex stop!” you laugh out of nervousness. suddenly he pulls you in closer to him, your head resting on his chest for safety. he rests his chin on top of yours, and suddenly says something that makes you feel like the only girl in the world.

“can i tell you something?” he says quietly. “yeah you can tell me anything al.” “i like you, a lot.” suddenly your heart begins to race. “you what?” “you heard me, y/n” “i like you too alex, i always have.” he lifts his head from yours, your guys’ hands still interlocked. “be my girlfriend?” he asks you, both of your cheeks tinted pink. “i’d love to” you smile. you guys don’t kiss due to all of the families and children around you, but he pulls you into a tight hug, kissing the top of your head.

[merakeeg]

hi tumblr im talking about how qifrey / orufrey is so never love an anchor core ( i merged my two fixations and now im not normal ) so therefore i will be rambling about it [ this is pretty much just a chapter 40 analysis so SPOILER WARNING ]

so starting with the first verse, I interpreted this as qifrey and how his "hands being clumsy, not clever" referring to how qifrey went out of his way to erase oru's memory despite how oru was willing to help qifrey. personally, i think qifrey DID want help, but seeing how much of a personal desire this was, he couldn't have help because he knows that oru would suffer as well . qifrey is so caught up in his own world where he hurts the people around him . despite olruggio wanting to protect qifrey, qifrey wants to protect olruggio from what would come from trying to protect him.

this verse can shift to olruggio trying to "do the best that i could / but try as i might i couldn't bring myself to hold you" since qifrey was always just out of reach.

second verse i think is pretty on the nose . the "secret i keep tucked inside my chest / with this heart of mine that's guilty not remorseful" being qifrey's secret that he's losing his sight. he's worried that he won't be able to teach his students anymore. he would lose everything that he has worked so hard for. which is why he is so desperate and uses extreme measures to not lose what has driven him so far. sure, he feels guilty because he knows he has people who would follow in his footsteps. but this is a burden that has lived with him forever.

"there is love that doesn't have a place to rest / but it would have buried you if it had settled on your shoulders" once again referring to how oru and the girls at the atelier have love for qifrey, but it would crush him to accept the help since he knows that doing so would put them in far more danger.

the secret can also refer to qifrey knowing that the brimhats have some other ulterior motive that has to do with his right eye that would also put his loved ones in harms way.

this verse i think is more orufrey centered . specifically all that happens in chapter 40. my imagery is qifrey being the "ship" and oru being his "anchor" and trying to understand qifrey and not let him go to far and bring him back to earth before he gets hurt

BUT qifrey cannot allow this to happen . he knows what he wants and what he needs to do. and he cant accept the help others. he cant allow other people to interfere with his sorrows. yet he allows himself to open up and talk, only to "sever the rope to set him sailing from his harbor" and. you know what happens

um. Yeah! SORRY IF THIS WAS A WHOLE LOT OF NOTHING i kinda just started rambling and hoping it made sense. i would go on with the rest of the song but i think i would just be repeating myself.

if anyone else has something to add (or if im just. Dead wrong) please please add more 🙏

[dilfgmancoolatta]

IF I CANT REACH YOU

LET MY SONG TEACH YOU

THE ONLY THING TO KEEP OUR LOVE ALIVE

IF I CANT HOLD YOU

REMEMBER WHAT I TOLD YOU

ITS THE ONLY WAY TO SURVIVE

WE SURVIVE

[iriemorning]

rayos de sol

solar eclipse glasses are being sold out everywhere last month for people who wanted to witness the biannual meeting of the moon and the sun. it was always marketed for extra eye protection, yes, but for a celestial tryst that only lasts for a few fleeting seconds, why don't we watch the scene in its raw form? as post-modern humans with daily screen times ranging from a quarter to half a day, what are we so afraid of?

...if only people mustered the courage to face the sun from time to time. ever since i pledged myself at the start of the year to embrace my inner solar power, i managed to become more conscious of the sunshine wherever i go, whatever i do.

it was there to give me a thumbs up just before the skies are setting to dusk when i was moving in between dorms, clutching piles of my stuff in a tricycle. i've been hustling and preparing nonstop that week because changing accommodations was a leap of faith to my part, and a big struggle since the academic year had already started. as soon as i saw how beautiful the sunset was, i let out a big, relieved sigh.

it was also there, happily shining on the highways of my neighborhood in its most yellow, dazzling fashion. i took a one-hour joyride in a motorcycle from north to south of the metro to visit my family and i slowly witnessed how the gloomy roads from where i came from transitioned to bright, saturated streets as i got closer to my destination.

it was there to greet me warmly when i got out of the judgment cave at the mountains. i almost got stuck inside because my candle flickered out and i panicked and broke down in tears. but because i'm the first in line, i cannot turn back to the entrance (it's too late and would only cause traffic) and i have to lead the rest of the crew to the way out. i reached my lowest in that dark, narrow tunnel, but i managed to pull through and the first eye contact i did when i got out was with the sun.

it was also there to say hello to me, beaming its proud rays on my glasses and the rest of my face through the big, transparent windows of the train. what a beautiful coincidence back then, being conveniently seated on the side of the train facing the direction where the sun is setting. right at that moment, My Songs Know What You Did in the Dark by Fall Out Boy played on shuffle in my earbuds. every lyric was hitting, while i was having peripheral glimpses of the sun peeking amongst buildings. it's like a scene from a movie.

finally, it was also there to tell me that i'm doing well, shining right on top of me, when i first opened my eyes as i finally managed to float my body on the swimming pool on my own. my friend was kind enough to teach me the basics, but the most important part of floating is just trusting and surrendering yourself to the waters. which was hard, since i almost drowned when i was young. and so i stayed away from big bodies of water since then, sticking to my comfort zone: mountains, where i cant drown. but in that moment, i finally let go of overthinking. it was the calmest i've ever felt, and seeing the sun smiling at me like that, was as close as levitating to the heavens.

it really is the most beautiful and intimate company one can ever have. because everywhere i go, the sun follows. i always acknowledge it whenever i can to let it know that i appreciate it for doing so, even if it burns layers of my retina for the long term. after all, what does simply looking away and wearing sunglasses gonna do to my eyes if it's already damaged from post-modern technological inventions?

alas, isn't love like that as well? to express your affections foolishly even if it chips away some parts of yourself, to devote yourself into the light even if it splits you into two.

[marisbuzi]

introductory post <3

hey!

i am marina (or mar) and this a blog i made to track my progress in learning languages and studying for uni, in hopes that i will actually stick to a schedule and be more productive bc this ain't it my dudes...

here are some things about me, in case my blog caught your attention:

info about me

i am 19 and i use she/her/they

sun in virgo, istp (changes every trimester tbh)

cat person<333 (i adooooore dogs as well but cats have a special place in my heart)

just finished (as of summer 2023) my first year in uni! i am studying computer science and it is boring af (for me) but three years left yoohoo!

i started teaching myself italian during quarantine but it got overwhelming because i couldn't maintain a schedule so i dropped it after six months

i started spanish lessons on october of 2022 and i am currently moving from a1 to a2 level

i also have a c2 level proficiency in english yay me for being gay and on ao3

speaking of gay, i am probably aroace (or i have major attachment issues but who knows)

things i'll post about

reblogs of advice and posts about the languages i am studying, computer science etc. you can find these kind of posts here (the link is https://marisbuzi.tumblr.com/tagged/reblogs)

my own original posts about the languages i am learning and computer science. mainly advice, memes etc (you can find these posts here for languages and here for computer science (correspondingly, https://marisbuzi.tumblr.com/tagged/mar-lang and https://marisbuzi.tumblr.com/tagged/mar-compsci)

progress tracking posts. hopefully, each week. worst case scenario, two times a month (you can find these posts here (the link is https://marisbuzi.tumblr.com/tagged/mar-progress)

media i am consuming

films/series: good omens (i am not talking about this series without a lawyer), used to be a huge supernatural fan, PRIDE AND PREJUDICE (both the 1980 series and the 2005/1995 movies), BARBIE, CAPTAIN MARVEL and BLACK WIDOW (best mcu movies istg), STAR WARS: ROGUE ONE and so on and so on

games: currently i am obsessed with sims 4 (and the mods. the mods.). also i started playing genshin impact in 2022 and despite being quite awful at fights with big bosses, i cant spend hours going after slimes, hilichurls and exploring. god i love exploring.

books: i am currently under a severe reading slump (seriously send help) but i became obsessed with all for the game by nora sakavic two years ago and if i get sick if i don't reread all three books every month<3 0/10 awful books but i would die for them and their characters. my main blog isn't @fuckyeahjeanmoreau for no reason! i also love pride and prejudice and a bunch of ao3 fics<33333

music: right so i listen to pretty much everything as long as its lyrics are decent (see not sexist/homophobic etc). what i listen depends on my mood but take a look at my spotify if you want and let me know if we have songs in common! some favourite albums include: preacher's daughter by ethel cain (i am convinced it's the best album in the history of albums), folklore/evermore by taylor swift, melodrama by lordre, and the whole discography by bts (and each member's solo activity)

(if we have anything in common i'd love to talk to you and scream over it in dms so don't hesitate to reach out or send an ask!)

adiós, mar <3

[lovely--lover]

Eddie Munson Boyfriend Stuff

Just some of my Eddie Munson boyfriend head cannons 😊 (general Eddie head cannons)

🤘Eddie will give you one of his rings for you to wear as a promise ring. 

🤘Eddie will put on a scary movie so you get scared and cuddle into his side. But he ends up getting scared and he makes you stand outside the door while he uses the bathroom. (Will turn on all the lights in the trailer after)

🤘Buys cassettes of your favorite music to keep in his van and memorizes the words to your favorite songs to sing a long with you

🤘Carries a photo of you in his drug box. When he looks at you he remembers he’s doing this for you 🥺 (you didn't ask him to)

🤘Let’s you cut his bangs when they get too long 

🤘Eddie will sit you in his lap and try to teach you how to play his guitar while reaching around your body with his hands over yours (the only person he lets touch his guitar)

🤘You will never touch a door handle in the presence of this man if he cant get it he’ll make one of the other Hellfire members do it “Henderson you better open that door!”

🤘 Feels bad because he doesn't have a lot of money to buy you gifts and take you on dates. So he'll find ways to surprise you like picking flowers out of someone's garden for you. Writing you in as a character in his campaign and making you the ruler of a kingdom.

🤘 "Babe can you help me stitch this onto my vest?"

🤘His uncle always knows when you’re coming over because Eddie will bring out all the trash and dirty dishes from his room.

🤘Eddie only eats junk food so when you cook for him he would be super impressed. Arms wrapped around your waist as he watches over your shoulder “Wow babe you are so amazing” (you're making a grilled cheese like 👀)

🤘Congratulations!! You are the new Hellfire Club babysitter!

🤘Saves a seat for you at the end of the lunch table right next to him. Whenever someone else tries to sit there he shoves them out “Are you Y/N!? Then leave!”

🤘Date nights in the back of Eddies van. Driving around listening to music and then he would park in a pretty spot so you can sit in the back and talk, listen to music and maybe something else too....

🤘Eddie calls you freak, babe, cutie, sweetheart and goody two shoes when you refuse to partake in illegal activities with him 🙄

🤘A lot of holding hands. They’re basically glued together! In the hallway, at lunch, in class, during Hellfire Club he’ll hold your hand under the D&D table while he’s mastering. (If anyone says something he kills off their character)

🤘When you watch Corroded Coffin perform he will dedicate the performance to you (and when you're not watching) “This is for you baby!!” points you out in the crowd of like 6 people 🤭

🤘Teaches you how to headbang and makes you do it every time his favorite song comes on

🤘Study dates that end up in Eddie pushing the homework on the floor and kissing you instead “No babe its okay I promise I’ll gradate this year”

NSFW

🤘The rings stay on when he 😏 ya know

🤘WAIST GRABBER! When you kiss, when you walk, when you fuck, Eddie will always have a hand on your waist.

🤘I think Eddie could lean more towards submissive because he wants to please you so you praise it. Will never admit it but he loves when you call him good boy.

🤘Yes he uses voices in bed🙄 ...but only when he’s in a goofy mood. 

🤘You’ll be on the verge of climax and Eddie will use some stupid voice an whisper in your ear like “Yes cum for me” totally kills the vibe

🤘”How hot would it be if we fucked on the D&D table”

Masterlist

[sabaramonds]

dmdp posting again. hey guys. MANGA SPOILERS !!! ive rambled about this on discord and on twitter in bits and pieces but it haunts me so im going to talk about it again here. so theres this song i heard a month or so ago, turtles all the way down by sammy copley, and every time i listen to it i start tearing myself apart at the seams over the corpse god and his emperor (and once again i will be referring to them strictly as their titles because, again, if you havent read the entire manga and been edged for 80 chapters, it just isnt right...) typical ok this got super long so im actually putting it under a cut this time but 👇 go forth if you want to be subjected to the depths of my illness

anyway!!! i just cant help it. everything about it perfectly encapsulates their relationship from corpse gods perspective. like

im not well as you can tell by the way i havent looked you in the eye im about to lie and say im fine but inside you and i know thats not true but its either this or let my burden weigh on you and that i just cant do so ill choose for the both of us and youll just go along because youve trusted me for no good reason here i am, committing treason force the last page of our story one more boring allegory hope to god youll rise above me; always bite the hand the loves me mine, mine is the unkind kindest cut of all and ill watch you fall

i feel crazy. “but its either this or let my burden weigh on you / and that i just cant do / so ill choose for the both of us” because corpse god doesnt want to burden his emperor more than he already has; his emperor has already dirtied his hands for him. thats already too much. “youve trusted me for no good reason / here i am committing treason / force the last page of our story” because he feels as if he is unworthy of his emperors love and trust and kindness and that aside from what hed done under a foreign necromancers influence, the grief and rage that possessed him to act in violence made him even more unworthy - made him a traitor to his masters teachings, to his emperors affection... even before we got further context for their relationship in the last few chapters of the most recent arc (civil having his #girl moment) i wrote in “the ghost of who you were” that corpse gods escapist fantasy of seeking out a world, or creating one, where his emperor would never have to dirty his hands on corpse gods behalf - or on the behalf of any child subjected to violence by adults who should love them - was an impossible dream he chased in an attempt to outrun the forgiveness of his emperor (though, to his emperor, there is nothing to forgive at all) also “hope to god youll rise above me; always bite the hand that loves me / mine is the unkindest kindest cut of all / and ill watch you fall” so fucking prophetic. to me. about corpse god choosing for both of them (sealing away his emperor and other spirits hed contracted with deep within himself so they could not reach out to him and judge him for what he had done) and the fact he did, indeed, watch his emperor fall; he had done it himself, with his own two hands, as unwillingly as it had been.

and i am aware that its not fair to bring you here then send you on your way you had so much to say and to ask like, “why am i not cut out for the task of loving you forever, of holding you and never wanting less?” well, i can take a guess see, i could choose for the both of us and youll just go along because youve trusted me for no good reason love, no matter what the season; force the last page of our story youre my favorite allegory hope to god that youll forgive me; my mistakes will long outlive me mine, mine is the unkind kindest cut of all and ill watch you fall

ripping my face off as i listen to this song and think about them right now. as we speak. “and im aware that its not fair / to bring you here then send you on your way” like every single part of this. “hope to god that youll forgive me / my mistakes will long outlive me” corpse god binding his emperors soul to him (consensually) only to push him away in the aftermath out of guilt and grief and feelings of inadequacy. his emperor never stopped wanting him, not even when corpse god became one of the undead himself; not even when he was nothing but bones held together by his masters magic, a brain in a jar kept cradled close to his frail, fleshless vessel... in his emperors own words: “no matter what youve turned into, the empire and i are always on your side.” in chapter 80, he says to corpse god, “being alive isnt about whether or not youre dead body. its about whether youre looking to the future or not.” he follows this up by addressing corpse god not by the title he himself had given him, but by his name (BRAIN DAMAGING) (I WAS ON THE FLOOR WRITHING LIKE A WORM)

and i dont know if this makes it any easier perhaps youll find comfort when i say: you and i are nothing more than meteors, never meant to live long past today yes. ill choose for the both of us: youll just go along because you trusted me against your judgement you deserve someone who doesnt force the last page of your story no more boring allegories hope to god youll rise above me, though youll always be part of me mine, mine is the unkind kindest cut of all ill watch you fall now watch me fall

most of the song i feel very strongly reads as corpse gods perspective but “perhaps youll find comfort when i say / you and i are nothing more than meteors, never meant to live long past today” feels like such an emperor thing to say. when you are a child emperor, you are braced for political assassination; when you are from a land where necromancy is a real and thriving art, your fear of death can be softened by the knowledge that if the one you love outlives you (even if their own flesh, too, is long gone) then your voice will still be heard by those who matter. though even then, the emperor is quite a funny guy. he loved corpse god before he was corpse god; he loved him when he was flesh and bone, loved him when that flesh dissolved and he was left as just a skeleton of who he had been; he loved him when corpse god killed him, loved him when corpse god bound them together. and always, he waited for when corpse god would be ready to face him, waited for him to be able to live. because corpse god was not alive before. if we go off of the emperors idea of “being alive” meaning “looking forward”, corpse god was always looking down or looking back; caught in his past, his regrets, his fears. i mentioned what his emperor said in chapter 80. in chapter 81, the opening page of corpse god is him smiling at the sight of his emperors back, thinking to himself: “unlike me, you only ever looked ahead. how could you keep your eyes trained forward on what was to come? i didnt understand at the time (and here, we see corpse god as he once was: face hidden by a bone mask and cowl, unsmiling) but now, i think i get it a little.” he thinks this as he watches his emperor dirty his hands on his behalf once again. he called for his emperor willingly, this time; he asked for his help, not as a subject beseeches their lord, but as a friend. an equal, the way his emperor had always treated him; he is ready to be alive, now. he is ready to look forward instead of past, to accept his emperors forgiveness, his love; to think of himself as worthy returning that love and wait i forgot lol i was so caught up in the insanity of the emperors perspective in those first few lines and segueing into corpse gods growth during the latest arc that i forgot to talk about “hope to god youll rise above me / though youll always be part of me” wanting his emperor to have better than what he does (corpse god) but wanting to always keep part of him with him + “ill watch you fall / now watch me fall” literally he killed his emperor with his own hands (unwillingly) and then his downward spiral in his grief and when he eventually went absolutely bananas on those geldwood cultists giving them a brutal torturous death for murdering the orphan children he was caring for at the time and believing his actions had made him unworthy of the power he wielded and (holding my head) as you can tell i think about this song and about them a normal amount. i think ill stop talking here. for now. i just. oh my god. theyve come so far. the fact corpse god is able to face his emperor now. jesus christ 😭 if you think im bad about these two just wait until i start talking about civil. lol

[soobasaur]

「 jisung as your skater boyfriend 」

i used to see you on the sidewalk, standing in your high tops

han!jisung x gender!neutral reader

a/n: i saw this photoshoot of jisung with a skateboard and my mind just shortcircuited and now i have a pinterest board full of skater boy jisung so here we are,,,if u see any skater fics tAG ME

« masterlist similar work »

you didn’t think you’d ever take up skating, after falling the moment you put on roller skates when you were younger you thought it was hopeless to even try

but that was before you saw him.

it all started when your friend jeongin took on a new obsession with skateboarding and you took on a new obsession with the boy at the skate park

you only tagged along to hang out with jeongin and for the ice cream stand that was right next to the skate park

and jeongin always offered to buy you some so why would you say no to that (n˘v˘���)¬

but your obsession started when you watched jeongin start talking to some boys you didn’t recognize, when you later asked he said he met them from the park

one of them in particular caught your eye

he almost always had on a some sort of hat and band tee on, his hat usually falling off when he was halfway through with his tricks

you had been trying to build up some courage to talk to him but didn’t know what to say since you didn’t skate yourself :((

cute boys made you nervous !!!

especially ones who could do cool tricks on their boards !!!

jeongin picked up on your little crush since whenever he asked you to watch him do a new trick your eyes always wandered off to him

he teased you about it but ended up telling you his name and a bit about him

han jisung, he was around your age and went to a campus not far from you, which is why you had never seen him around

one day, when you were actually paying attention to jeongin for once, you saw a hat lying forgotten in the middle of the park and immediately recognized it as jisungs

you were to the point where you could recognize what brands he wore shjdjf

you rushed over to pick it up, dodging jeongin’s board as you did so, and made your way back to your table, clutching it protecting in your fists

after scouring the park for a tuft of his brownish hair you came up empty, deciding to pocket the hat until the next time you visited

when you offered to come to the park the next day without jeongin begging you to do so, your best friend knew something was up

he pestered you until you finally surrendered and showed him the hat, your ticket to starting a conversation with jisung

“i could just introduce you two,” jeongin chastised, rolling his eyes playfully

“that wouldn’t be memorable though! i want him to remember me as the person who saved his hat!”

“....imma just pretend i don’t know you.”

〴⋋_⋌〵 “jeongin !!”

you eventually spotted him waiting in the shade for his friends to skate and mustered up enough courage to walk up to him

“...hey?”

why did that come out like a question (;´༎ຶٹ༎ຶ`)

he turned to you after realizing you were talking to him, “hi?” he sounded startled, but you didn’t miss the way he quietly checked you out

“uhm so i’m y/n and you dropped your hat the other day? this is yours right? i notice you wear this brand a lot and uh, anyways! i just wanted to return it to you—,” you held out the hat and shut up before you started rambling and embarrassing yourself even more

you say his eyes flash in recognition as he reached out to grab the hat, then took his hand back just as quick

“actually...you can have it. keep it as a gift! i’d rather you give me your number instead,” he winked, before taking out his phone to hand to you

( ･_･) snkdkfkfkgovkovijskd wHAT

you somehow managed to grab the phone with shaky hands as you typed in your number, saving yourself as “y/n ❤️” and handing it back before you could stop yourself

you saw him smile at the contact name, pocketing it before looking back at you

“i’m jisung by the way...do you wanna get some ice cream?”

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) was this perhaps...a date?

“sure...oh! what about your friend?” you asked, gesturing to the boy he seemed to be waiting for

he waved them off, “we can join them later, come on, my treat...i’ll race you there.” and he threw his board down and skated off towards the nearby ice cream stand as you ran off after him, yelling at how that was unfair

true to his words, jisung bought you ice cream and you guys sat down at a worn down bench

unfortunately, it was right out in the sunlight so you kept squinting to lick your ice cream

after seeing your suffering he took the hat he gave you from where you placed it on the table and plopped it on your head, adjusting the straps to fit you

“there, now the sun won’t bother you and we can twin!” jisung smiled, pointing to his current hat which was the one you were wearing in a different color

your little date was soon interrupted with his friend running over along with jeongin, who kept giving you suggestive faces as he stood behind jisung

“cant belive you buy your new partner ice cream and not your friends!! removing you from your best friend position!” his friend whined, he had long blond hair and you didn’t miss how jeongin eyed him discreetly

“shut up hyunjin,” jisung glared, a fond smile on his face as he handed over his friend some bills from his wallet and ruffled jeongin’s hair, “i might as well be your guy’s sugar daddy.”

you couldn’t help but notice how he didn’t deny the part where hyunjin called you jisung’s new partner (ᗒ//ᗕ)

hyunjin and jeongin took the table behind you guys as you continued to talk to jisung

you found out where he went to college and his current major (music production ?/$:&:&) and how he minored in dance so he could have a class with hyunjin, who begged him to join

that made him ten times more attractive and you felt a little shy telling him you were an art major, and the only instrument you could play was the piano due to lessons as a kid

but he thought it was cool and let you rant about your annoying professors and dumb projects you had to complete

in return, he showed you some of his songs and let you watch a couple of his performances before getting bashful and hiding his phone away

jisung rapping made you feel butterflies shkddndj

you two hit it off and bounced off of each other as the conversation went on

after a while jeongin pestered you to go home with him to help him on the project he procrastinated on

it was getting late though so you agreed

jisung asked where you guys were heading and offered to walk you both, since hyunjin didn’t seem keen on leaving jeongin either

hyunjin and jisung instantly put down their boards to start skating to you guys’ dorms before you admitted you didn’t skate

jisung looked pretty shocked at the revelation before kicking his board back up

“hmm, why do you come to the park then?” he asked as you guys ended up walking back, hyunjin and jeongin ahead of you as they decided to skate back

“jeongin bothered me to come with him before he met you guys, then i just started tagging along to see you—, to just hang out.”

he waggled his eyebrows at you as you jogged ahead of him, “to come see me?- hey get back here!”

the four of you finally ended up home, hyunjin walking jeongin to his place a little further from yours as jisung took you to your dorm building to send you in

“oh, before you go, take this.” he mumbled, handing you his board

?????????

why was he handing you his board ಠ_ಠ

“isn’t this yours? why are you giving it to me?” you asked all confused

“i have a ton at my apartment, and this one has a cute design on the back,” he turned the board around and pointed at the art, “you said you like this style of art so i thought you’d enjoy it, and next time you come to the park bring it with you so i can teach you how to ride it”

he shyly scratched the back of his neck as he handed it to you, “take care of it, yeah? i’ll call you later y/n, bye~,” he shot you some finger guns before lamely moonwalking off your porch and running off towards where hyunjin was waiting for him

you carefully clutched the board and made your way inside, your heart beating at the thought of jisung remembering something so minuscule like your favorite art style

you and jeongin didn’t end up finishing his project that night and ending up screaming about your new crushes

true to his word, the next time you went to the park you brought the board with you and he taught you how to ride it

he took you to some smaller ramps in the back and placed the board down, holding out his hands for you to step onto it after noticing your hesitancy

you grabbed ahold of his palm and stepped onto the board, the wheel skidding as you felt like you were gonna tumble off

jisung kept you steady though by placing his free hand on your lower back as he let you find your balance

“make sure to angle your feet a little more that way—yeah like that! keep the board near you at all times.”

he watched as you pulled the board towards you and adjusted your stance a little, looking towards him for guidance

he gave you a big smile in return

“okay now imma pull you around a bit so you get comfortable,” he removed his hand from your lower back, (which you were a little sad about) and started to slowly pull you around

you started to death grip on jisungs hand and screamed how you were gonna die when jisung started pulling a little faster

“i got you,” jisung said fondly, as he pulled you in a little circle

“great, now imma let go for a second,” he let go of your palm before grabbing his other board and stepping his right foot on it

“now your gonna put your dominant foot on the board and push off, like this, and just let it take you to the end of the park.”

he pushed his board away before gesturing for you to push

you gulped before letting loose and pushing your foot off, you stumbled a bit before you felt jisung straighten you up, and then you were off

jisung started to jog beside you as you skated towards the other end of the park >///<

he stayed alongside you until you slowed to a stop and you jumped off, a little shaken from the experience

“you did so well!” jisung cheered, hopping over to give you a short hug, before pulling away with flushed cheeks

“thank you,” you mumbled, your own cheeks dusted pink

you guys walked over to where jisung dropped his bag and he tossed you a water bottle, before plopping onto the curb

“you did so much better then me when i first started, i fell off and twisted my ankle, i’m surprised i decided to get back on the board after that...”

“if you never went back to skateboarding, we never would’ve met.” you joked, downing half of the bottle before handing it back to jisung “and i’m only doing good cus i have a great teacher,” you winked as you adjusted your hat

“us never meeting is a sad thought,” jisung mused before drinking from the same bottle, “hey we just indirectly kissed.” he laughed, before looking down sheepishly

why was he so confident and shy at the same time shdjkkffk

“what if we directly kissed?” you asked before you lost all confidence, which you didn’t have much to start with anyways

you saw jisung shortcircuit before turning back towards you, and after getting a nod from you he leaned forward and captured your lips with his own

he tasted like chocolate ice cream and it made your heart go beserk

when you pulled back to breathe he chased after your lips and brought you back in again

your brain rn: sbjdkfklck

after a little make out session he took you back out until you were able to skate a little by yourself and even do some turns with jisung’s help

and if he gave you little kisses for every time you didn’t fall off that was for the two of you to know

bonus headcanons:

it didn’t take long for jeongin and hyunjin to get together after the both of you set them up

which meant double dates at the skate park!!

jisung made it his new life goal to teach you how to skate enough to go a long time without his assistance

:(( he wanted to go on skate dates with you in the nearby city

your favorite thing was to watch jisung do cool tricks you didn’t know the name of on his board, you were scared he was gonna crack his skull open with the stungs he was pulling (ᗒᗣᗕ)՞

jisung mentioned in passing how he wanted a board with this specific design but he couldn’t find one anywhere and gave up

so for his birthday you painted a custom design for him and got it printed onto a skateboard

to say he cried was an understatement he started bawling when he unwrapped it

he almost didn’t wanna use it cus he was scared of scratching it, but you assured him it could be repaired and he took it out for a spin

you eventually got the hang of skating, (you couldn’t do any tricks and had a trouble coming to a stop but hey it was progress)

which meant skating through the city dates !!!!

jisung would give you his other airpod and you guys would skate around the city at night listening to your shared playlist

you loved it when he gave you an enamoured look whenever a girl group somg came on and you started belting out to a loona song

jisung could play almost any instrument and he often sang to you whenever you came over

you could just be lying in bed half asleep and he’d sing to you

you even started to pretend to fall asleep just to hear him softly sing to you and play with your hair

you ended up just using his old skateboard for the time being until jisung bought you a new one

he said he wanted to paint you one but wasn’t sure of his abilities so he got one that matched the design with your old one but was brand new

you also cried <//3

he couldn’t paint, but he could write songs!

he would write songs after you all the time and sing you cheesy love songs to embarass you

you would even draw him if he stood still long enough, and seeing the happy expression on his face whenever he took a look at your sketches was worth it

he gave you a lot of his hats so you guys could match together

he liked being the cliche matching couple !! so sue him !!

it was just the cutest relationship and jisung took good care of you and vice versa <33

jisung best boyfriend !!

thanks for reading ⁂

(gif by user hyunjins)

[suchalonelysunflower]

You Said Forever (c.h)

Pairing: Calum Hood x Reader

Requested: Yes!

Summary: Based on the song “Driver’s License” by Olivia Rodrigo. You did everything you could to get over him, you talked to friends, went on long drives and even wrote him a song. Why cant you just let him go?

Warnings: Angst. Language. Mentions of alcohol. Some grammar mistakes? (English is not my first language, I’m sorry)

Word count: 6.7 k

Author’s Note: I’m so excited someone requested this! I highly recommend listening to the song before you read, references are in the text and dialogs. Please remember that Reblogs, Coments, Feedback and Likes are more than welcome and encouraged! You don’t know how much they help me 💕 Hope you like it and Happy reading 🦋

Fic of the week // My Materialist // wanna be part of my tag list?

@rime-warrior : Hey love! Has anyone requested an imagine for Calum based on the song “Drivers license” by Olivia Rodrigo yet? I think you’re the only one who would be able to do it any justice 😭💕

“I still see your face in the white cars, front yards

Can't drive past the places we used to go to

'Cause I still fucking love you, babe”

You could hear the doorbell ring over the thunderous storm raging outside. It was late, probably closer to midnight than you imagined. Who could possibly be outside right now? especially in this kind of weather?

After four consecutive rings, you decided to get up from your spot on the bed and walk up to the door. It must be something very important for someone to startle you that way.

Once you got closer to the door you could also distinguish some strong bangs coming from the other side accompanied by the endless ringing “Okay, okay! I’m coming!” You called, but whoever was standing opposite to you mustn’t have heard you as they continued to disrupt the peace of a stormy night.

A shiver ran down your spine before you could reach the doorknob, almost like the ghost of a feeling, a warning for you not to open the door. Despite your common sense, you decided to open the door, already being too late to go back.

“Calum?”

He was standing in front of you, completely drenched from head to toes. His breathing was uneven, almost like he ran all the way over here, but his eyes were set on yours, unmoving as you both tried to take each other in.

“Calum-what is?-” Your words got stuck in your mouth as he pushed himself forward, grabbing your face delicately as he clashed his lips with yours.

You felt yourself melt into the kiss, making it everything you ever wished for. You wrapped your arms around his neck and deepened the kiss as you brought him closer to you. He was here, he was finally here with you. It all feels like a dream.

Your alarm clock marked 6 AM when you jumped from your dreams into reality. You should’ve known, everything was too good to be true.

You brought one hand to your face, trying to wipe away the tiredness of your eyes, but you found your cheeks were humid due to tears you didn’t even know you shed through the night, damping your pillow sheets once again.

It was always the same dream: Calum coming back to you. Night after night your mind drifted to another reality where you’d meet again, sometimes it was at a concert, other at the local café of your neighborhood that you used to love so much, but tonight was the first night where he appeared at your house. Which was funny considering that he hasn’t stepped foot in this place for almost a year.

You pushed your thoughts away as you tried to go back to sleep. And you did try, but the tossing and turning made you restless, you cursed your mind as the only thing you could see when you closed your eyes was Calum, standing at your door and asking for a kind of forgiveness you weren’t sure you could give. Although, who were you kidding?

Checking the clock once again you realized it was 20 past 6, still too early to go back to real life, but not too early to start and try to live a little.

Pushing yourself off the bed, you grabbed a big hoodie and some pair of sweatpants before putting on your running shoes and hopping into the bathroom to brush your teeth and clean your face before grabbing your keys and getting out of the house.

You sat on the driver’s seat, just like you did a thousand times, taking a big breath before starting the engine.

“You do know you have a perfectly good car in your driveway, right?”

You smiled at him and greeted him with a hug and a kiss as you climbed into the passenger's seat.

It was your usual morning routine. Ever since you met and he found out you lived nearby the studio he always volunteered to carpool with you. Since then, your mornings were filled with hugs, good coffee and stolen kisses you gave each other as the road to the studio became longer and longer thanks to all the detours you took.

“Hello, Calum. I’m very good, thank you for asking, how are you?”

Calum rolled his eyes and gave you a little peck on your lips “I would’ve been on time if I hadn’t had to pick your ass from the other side of town”

You lightly punched him in the arm “You know you love me” He smiled.

“That I do, darling. But I would love you more if you drove us from time to time”

“You know I don’t have a car!” Calum turned to you and pointed to the classic mustang sitting in front of your house, raising his eyebrows as if to ask if you were stupid “That’s my dad’s car!”

“That he kindly gave to you when he helped you move to LA so you could pursue your dream of becoming the next new sensation of music,” He said mocking a dreamy voice to try imitating you “He said it was yours, so it's yours! And honestly, it’s a pretty cool car if you ask me. A real chick magnet”

You mocked a gag at his old reference of movies from the 50’s “Sexist much?” You both laughed as he started the car and started driving “Anyways, he only gave me the car because mom was threatening to sell it on eBay if he didn’t get rid of it soon enough, so he could still come and get it whenever he wants to” You shrugged.

Calum started sniffing the air, “What?” You asked, sniffing as well in case there was something wrong.

“Do you smell that?” He asked with a concerned face.

“Smell what?”

He leaned closer to you and sniffed harder before whispering “The bullshit”

You scoffed and pushed him back “Haha very funny”

You waited until he stopped laughing, you never told him the truth, well two truths actually.

One: That you enjoyed the drives you had with him, it was a special time for the two of you to be yourselves without anyone to judge. You would laugh, sing, talk for hours as you sat in traffic under the city lights. It was the little moments that matter for the two of you, these were your little moments and you didn’t want to give them up just yet.

It was not easy being in a “relationship” that no one knew about, not even his bandmates, although you knew they were suspecting something. All the sneaking away while amid a recording session, hanging out in each other’s rooms, how adamant he was to carpool with you every day, even when he didn’t need to go to the studio… It was an easy tell, but it was also your private life.

You told yourself that it was for the best, that you shouldn’t mix work and personal life, especially when your personal life included Calum. He was adamant to keep whatever you had out of the public eye “What we have is good” He said, “Why ruin it with labels?” And you agreed, knowing that making everything official could just mess everything up. Calum was your best friend, after all, you would be damn if you lose him.

And for the second truth:

“I don’t know how to drive”

Just in time, the traffic light turned red. Calum turned to you in disbelief “Bluff” You shook your head, not looking at him just yet “Bluff! That can’t be right! Y/N how old are you?”

You shrugged again “I never needed to! I always enjoyed walking plus,” You said nudging your arm on Calum’s “I have the best driver right here!” You pecked his cheek with a kiss and saw how quickly they blushed, making you celebrate this tiny victory inside your head. You loved making him blush, it gave you some kind of security that he felt the same way.

Calum stared at you for a moment too long, making you self-conscious under his eyes. You could tell the gears were running inside his head “What if I teach you how to drive?”

You chuckled “Now I call your bluff”

“I’m serious!” He said, not taking his eyes from you “We have time before the tour starts, and that way you could drive us somewhere for once! You know? Picking me out and going on a date?”

Your eyes were set on him with an alarming tone, a what now? Was he serious? “You would do that for me?” You asked shyly, not wanting to fall into another of his pranks, but he seemed serious enough.

“Of course!” He said with a chuckle that accentuated all his dimples “Let’s get you your driver’s license, Y/N!”

Calum grabbed your hand and intertwined it with his, shaking it as a victory celebration and then placing a kiss on your knuckles. You laughed and reminded him where you were “Eyes on the road, Hood” even though the light was still red, you would rather him not noticing the red that tinted your cheeks and the loud beating of your heart.

You saw how the sun was starting to illuminate the coast as you drove by. Everything was so quiet this early in the morning and you were thankful, you needed this quiet so you could be alone with your thoughts once again. And, just like every day, that just meant you were thinking of Calum.

Could you blame him? Possibly, your friends said you should. But could you live with yourself knowing that you are holding a grudge towards someone who is probably unaware of it? Not in the slightest.

You were never official, not to the public at least, but in your heart, you knew he was the only one who could make you feel like this. He was the only one capable of making you laugh as hard as you did, cry the way that you did, and enjoy yourself to the fullest. You were your best when you were with him and now… How are you now?

Would he care?

You knew he loved you, he said so himself. The only thing you didn’t know was in what way. Did he love you like a lover? or just like a friend who he’d get to kiss and make love to from time to time?

The lump in your throat became stronger as you remember the last moments you had with him and all the promises he couldn’t keep. You tried to distract yourself, crying behind the wheel could be dangerous and you weren’t going to risk your life for him, not yet at least.

You turned on the radio in hopes that it would call your mind, at this point even the commercials would make you feel better if they made you think about anything but him.

“And now, Laurie. We have the hottest single of the year!” Said the radio host with the most cheerful tone a person could mutter this early “This up-and-coming artist debuted this single almost a month ago and it is still top of the charts in almost 34 countries all over the world!”

Now the lump in your throat came back but this time with a knot on your stomach as well. The first time you heard the song play on the radio you felt excited, after all this is why you came to LA in the first place. Yet the feeling became bittersweet in no time.

“My girls, boys, and non-binary folks; if you are in your car right now get ready to sing this at the top of your lungs with all the feelings you could muster and send a fuck you to your ex. This is ‘Driver’s License’ by Y/N L/N”

“I got my driver’s license last week, just like we always -”

You turned off the music and kept driving in silence.

You knew it was a bad idea to release the song you wrote about him. Maybe it was a petty move on your part, but… didn’t you have the right to be petty this time?

Either way is not like people would realize it was about him. It was your little secret, yours and Calum’s if he ever heard it, although you believe that if he did then he would’ve said something to you by now. Yet his silence was similar to the one in your car; deafening and heartbreaking.

“I don’t know Calum,” You said as you stared at your car parked in front of you “Is it safe to do it here?”

Calum was leaning on top of the hood, rolling his eyes at your indecision “Would you rather do it on the PCA?” You shot your eyes at him with a deathly glare, he just chuckled “I promise is okay, this parking lot is big enough and there are no cars left that you could accidentally hit”

You were both standing in the middle of the studio’s parking lot late at night. Calum insisted that this was the day you learned how to drive, so he spent the night at your place and today he drove you in your car, that way there would be no excuses left for you not to do it.

However, you were still hesitant. This was technically your father’s car, his other baby, and if you ever crash it you wouldn't know what you’ll do. Calum noticed your doubt and took a step closer to you, grabbing your hand in his to give you some sort of encouragement.

“Look, babe. It’s okay if you don’t want to do it. I won’t pressure you” He said softly “I just thought this could be fun for the both of us” He smiled “Fun and educational for that matter. But if you’re not ready then we can go home and-”

“I want to do it, Cal,” You said, “I just- I don’t know where to even begin!”

He chuckled and placed a kiss on your forehead, making all the butterflies in your stomach take flight.

“Tell you what,” Calum said confidently “You get behind the wheel and I’ll put us some inspirational music”

He walked back to the car to connect his phone to the speakers “You better put my song first!” You called after him as you walked towards the driver’s seat.

Calum laughed “God, I should’ve never told you that! Now your ego’s off the damn roof!” Soon enough he sat on the passenger’s seat next to you and buckled up.

“Not my fault that you think of me so often you want to put it into song” You teased, leaning in for a kiss that Calum was happy to oblige.

“Yes,” He said mid-kiss “It is completly your fault” Next thing you know ‘Kill My Time’ was playing on the radio, but Calum was not letting go of you just yet.

You wished this moment last forever, you wished every moment with Calum would last forever, but you both needed to breathe at some point “I wish I could kiss you all day long, I swear I could die on your lips and die happy” You said as you pressed your forehead to his, smiling like a fool in love.

“Soon, love,” Calum said as he crashed his lips against yours “Just wait until tour is over and then we’ll have forever to do just that”

You grinned at his words, a few days ago he promised to make your relationship publicly official once he came back from tour, that way you’ll have more time together as a fairly new couple. If he was willing to take that step, then you were more than ready to follow along. You knew you’d give everything for him if you had to and you still won’t regret it. You love him, and that was enough for you.

“Think I’m ready to start,” You said once you pulled away from him for the last time.

Calum nodded and patted his hand on your thigh “Okay, first you have to turn on the engine. Good, then you check all your mirrors and make sure your gear shift is on position-”

“My what?” You asked.

“Your gear shift, you know? The stick in-”

“Oh, you mean the PRNDL? You said, trying your hardest to stay serious, but failing to do so once you saw Calum’s face.

“You couldn't go one day without your references now, could you?” He said in amusing disbelief that had you both laughing.

The lesson was fairly simple, it just consisted of going forwards and on reverse a few times and practicing some turns in circles around the parking lot, and you were proud to say you were getting the hang of it pretty quickly. Calum turned out to be a great instructor with the patience of a god, he never got mad at you or showed that he was scared - even though it was pretty clear that he was, especially when you turned too far and almost hit a lamp post - and you appreciate him for that.

It was almost 2 AM when you decided to call it quits for the day and start back tomorrow. Calum was now behind the wheel driving you to your house so he could pick up his car and drive home.

“Cal?” You said once he parked in your driveway.

“Yes, love?”

“I’m really happy with you” You shyly admitted.

Calum’s heart beamed with love as he pulled you closer for a goodnight kiss “And I’m really happy with you”

You kissed him one more time before jumping out of the car “See you tomorrow!” He called before you watched him drive away.

The sound of a horn woke you up from your daydream memory. You didn’t know the light had just turned green until the car behind you started pounding their button and cursing at you to move.

You watched the white car from the rearview mirror as you drove away, it looked like his, all the white cars did, but you knew he couldn’t be here just yet, not until the tour was done.

A sinking feeling of hopelessness filled your inner thoughts once again. The promises he made faded like the wind in the summer once he stepped on that plane and decided that you were something he had to leave behind. It would’ve been good to know beforehand, that way you wouldn’t have wasted a year by the phone, hoping it would ring and that he’d be on the other line.

You glanced at the car’s clock one more time, it’s already too late to do anything, you’ve been driving around without a destination for hours when it only felt like minutes. Time is something you learn how to lose when you’re alone, minutes become meaningless once you realize there is no one there to share them with you, but it’s late and it was time to head home. You let out a sigh at the realization that your drive-through therapy didn’t work this time.

Deciding to take the long way home, you started to drive through the lesser-known streets of LA, hoping that you’d get lost somewhere and not knowing if anyone would care.

The dreams of running away came flashing down, more of an idea than an afterthought. Yes, you made it in LA, you have a hit song and your dreams are coming true. Why didn’t that feel like enough?

If you were gone, even just for a little bit, would anybody notice? If you just got up in your car and started driving somewhere unknown until the feeling of loneliness faded away. Could you drive your feelings away? Outrun them somehow?

You knew that if Calum could do it then so could you. It was so easy for him to just leave whatever you had behind, to leave you behind and hope that you were okay somehow. If he thought that you were okay then he maybe didn’t know you at all and you are probably better off without him, just like your friends say all the time.

But were you better off without him?

Tears started piling up in the corner of your eyes once again. No, you were not better off without him even though you want to be. And neither you are better off with him, if he ever came back to you, that is.

You swallowed a sob, trying your hardest not to break down again. It was useless, all the tears and all the songs and all the fuck him an attitude that you could muster… What was it for if not to dwell on your pain even more? You are still hurt and he still did not care.

You took a turn on the left, knowing the way like the back of your hand. You knew this path would lead you home, but you also knew it would lead you to his house as well.

The first time you did this was to practice how to find your way to Calum’s home without getting lost. You knew he wasn’t home and he wouldn’t be for many many months, but you wanted to surprise him once he got there, to pick him up and drive him to that date he promised you once he returned. Now, you avoided that road like a plague unless you had days like this, days in which missing him became everything you did, and now passing through his empty house gave you the reality check you desperately needed: He is gone. It also inspired you to write the song, it was a blessing and a curse.

You turned into the familiar street and looked to your right, you counted the houses passing by one, two, three, four… Until you spotted his old porch. Normally, that’s all you did. You would drive through his street and see the house dark and cold as his owner was out of town. But today there was a white car on his driveway.

Your breath got caught in your throat as you recognized the license plate, immediately stepping on the breaks and making the car stopped abruptly in front of the house.

That is his car… But how? You knew that Calum kept his car in Ashton’s place so they could drive up together to the airport every time they had to leave. What is it doing here? Tour didn’t end until a week from today and-

The sudden movement coming from the house pulled you from every rational thought as the front door opened. You held your breath as the person who stole all your sleepless nights came into view.

He was home.

Calum stepped out of his house with a bright smile on his face. His hair was shorter than the last time you’ve seen it, and he was less tanned, a fact that was easily noticeable thanks to the contrast of his leather jacket on his skin. But his dimples were intact as he smiled at whoever was inside the house.

A small figure came behind him, wrapping her arms around his torso as she was laughing at something he said. Her blond hair was falling down her back so elegantly, and her smile was bright as day as she hugged him, you wouldn’t have noticed that in the photos. She looked happy, but what broke you the most is that he looked happy as well.

He was home, but he was home with her.

You knew something was going on, even if there wasn’t anything official from either of them. You weren’t official, too. But seeing them was all the proof you needed to believe it. Believe that it was actually over and neither of you said goodbye.

You bit the inside of your cheek as silent tears started rolling down your face. You wanted to scream, to cry your hearts out, and let the world fuck itself over and over again. But for the love that you had on yourself, you promised that you wouldn't dignify him by making a scene. He didn’t deserve it. He didn’t deserve to know you cared.

With that in mind, you wiped your tears and floored the gas pedal, driving away from the scene.

“Hey!!!!!”

“Guess what?”

“I PASSED THE TEST!”

“I can legally drive on my own now :D!”

Read 19:05

“Calum?”

“Oh, you must be at the concert now, my bad!”

“Let me know when we can FaceTime again! I can’t wait to tell you how it went! I’m so excited we can finally switch places and let me be the one in charge of the road, lol”

Read 23:54

“Is everything alright, Cal?”

Read 04:32

“I miss you”

Read July 19th 14:49

Last week you sent your last text to him and he still hadn’t responded yet. You tossed all night waiting for at least a smoke signal from him. He was gone for two months now and he never missed one of your calls, it was so unlike him, especially when he promised you to call every day he was on tour.

You tried to distract yourself by doing everything you could think of. You watched videos, listened to music, played candy crush over and over again, and still, there was no answer.

You were starting to give up when a notification from Twitter graced your screen, it read: “Calum Hood, bassist from the band 5 Seconds of Summer, seen cozying up with a mysterious girl in a nightclub two nights ago”

You blinked twice and reread the headline, hoping that your eyes were deceiving you.

“The Australian bassist seemed to be catching up with some friends and letting it all loose at a wild night here in London after their sold-out show in the O2 Arena.

Hood was wearing-”

You skipped all that unnecessary information, scrolling down to the bottom where you knew all media kept the real gossip. A bubble of anxiety started forming inside your throat, as your fingers moved over the screen. The atmosphere became heavy while you could hear your heart thundering inside your chest, every little beat it made was hurting you, almost like it was banging your ribcages begging to be set free.

Time stood still as you looked at the pictures, not wanting to believe your eyes as they analyzed every detail of it.

There he was, hugging a blond woman from behind and resting his face on her shoulders just like he used to do with you. Even from the picture, you could tell she was gorgeous. The next picture showed her wrapping her arms around his neck and smiling at him. He had his hands cupping her cheeks, his face denoted a serious expression, but the look in his eyes was fixed on her.

He kissed her in the third picture, his hands still cupping her cheeks. It seemed like he was smiling through the kiss.

The last picture had them sitting on some kind of leather sofa. She was sitting on his lap and his hands were wandering very close to her butt, holding her close to him.

“The fans of the band wasted no time on identifying the mysterious girl. She seems to be the new tour assistant manager of the boys. Let’s hope that work and pleasure don’t get between this beautiful couple #goals<3”

The stream of tears was never-ending. You couldn’t understand what was going on, why Calum hasn’t said anything to you, why-why did he let it happen? Something was not right, and it wasn’t just your breathing getting heavy inside your lungs or your shaky hands as you typed the next text.

“We need to talk, please call me?”

You got no answers that night as you cried yourself to sleep, realizing that you had no one to comfort you cause nobody knew that you two were even together. You were utterly alone.

The next morning you woke up to no text from him, not even a call or a voicemail.

Read 08:45

You forced yourself to finish your nighttime routine. Ever since you came back home you did nothing but cry, but not of sadness, you were crying of anger.

With him being far away it almost didn’t seem real. You allowed yourself to create some sort of fantasy where he would come back to you, to start over where you left off and be together for everyone to see. How foolish.

You thought that he’ll hear your song and he’ll be running back to you to apologize, to ask if you still love him like before. But he won’t, because he is happy without you while you rot in your own pity party.

You grabbed hold onto the counter, trying to hold the tears as everything suddenly became clear as day. All the red flags you ignored were now shining as candy apples. He made a fool of you and didn’t even dignify you with at least some kind of warning or apology. He brought you down and now it was up to you to climb back up and even higher than before.

How could he?

All the memories you held close to your heart were burning in the pyre of your soul. You loved him, you knew you did. But all you meant for him was just a summer fling, something to waste time on before the real thing came along.

But he loved you…

Did he?

He spent entire days and nights next to you. He told you stories no one’s ever heard of. He sang to you to sleep and wrote you the most beautiful poems you’ve ever read. He picked you up every day and stayed with you until it was your time to leave. He made you feel welcome and there was not a day where you didn’t feel safe around his arms. He was your best friend. He taught you how to drive and what it meant to feel something real, something as important as the love you could have for someone. He loved you, he said he did, he promised he did.

Maybe love was not enough for him.

Your mind was divided, fighting over and over and over again about the same thing. Part of you cursed his name while the other part just wanted to be held by him, telling you that it will all be okay. But you couldn't even trust yourself on this one.

The doorbell rang, one, two, three times.

You were not going to answer it. One look in the mirror and you knew you couldn't answer anyone in this state. Your eyes were puffy and red, your cheeks were hollowed from not eating all day. There was nothing you could do to make you look or feel better, so whoever was behind the door will have to find another way to disturb the chaos in your mind.

However, they were persistent. With the ring of the doorbell came a few bangs. It seemed urgent.

You took one last look at yourself before deciding with a sigh to go and open the door. Whoever it was must have a good reason to come banging at your door a little past midnight.

“I’m coming!” You called, voice coming out a little hoarse from crying all night.

A shiver ran down your back and you felt like you were here before, in this exact moment where all your instincts told you to walk away. You decided to ignore them as you gently turned the doorknob and opened the door. Immediately wishing you didn’t.

“Calum?”

He stood in front of you, soaked from head to toe. Hands in the pockets of his jacket, not the leather one, but one more cozy. He was also wearing a pair of sweatpants and part of his hair was stuck on his forehead. You didn’t realize it was raining.

“Can I come in?” He asked, not even a hello.

You debated on whether or not to let him in. Part of you wanted to throw him back into the streets, but a storm was coming - much in the literal and subliminal way, and you didn’t want him to drive in this weather, you still care for him even though you shouldn’t.

With a simple nod, you opened the door wide enough so he could enter the house, a little “thank you” came out of his mouth as he stepped inside for the first time in over a year.

You closed the door and started walking into the kitchen with Calum following you like a stray dog. Your hands were shaking so you hid them behind your back as you slowly wrapped your arms around you in an attempt to comfort you throughout this whole ordeal.

Calum is standing in front of you on the other side of the island. He is not looking at you, but rather he is looking at his feet. You figured he was too scared to be the first one to talk and it broke your heart that he has suddenly become shy around you when you used to tell each other everything. ‘But whose fault is that?’ You thought.

Now you were just two strangers in a room.

“I thought you’d still be on tour,” You said, breaking the silence that has fallen upon you.

Calum looked up and he almost looked thankful that you spoke first “The last two venues canceled at the last minute due to weather conditions,” He said “So we came back earlier than expected”

You nodded and faced the other way. The fact that he was here in your home made your stomach turn and not in a good way. You always thought him coming back was going to be something joyful, but it became more painful as time went by.

“They closed café Mariannete while I was gone” He said, was he really going to talk about that right now? Did he came over here to reminisce about the café you used to have breakfast in?

“I didn’t know. I don’t go there anymore”

More awkward silence came upon you. You both knew he was bullshiting his way into the real conversation he was avoiding to have. He always used to do that and you have forgotten how much you hated it.

“Were you driving by my house today?” He asked and you froze on the spot. You didn’t think that he saw you.

“I was,” You cleared your throat “I was coming back home”

“And you didn’t say hello” It was more a statement than a question.

A sour taste filled your mouth. How dare he? “You were busy enough” You knew it was a petty answer, but what did he expect?

A flash of hurt came through Calum’s eyes as he said nothing in return. He knew you saw him with her, so he had no excuse to push the topic back to you.

The atmosphere was tense as the only thing you could hear was the ticking of the clock and the raindrops falling through your window. There was so much to say and yet none of you were brave enough to muster them.

You had every right to be mad and he had a right to explain himself, but you were not going to be the first one to cave in. Not without hearing from him first.

Eventually, Calum got restless of the silence.

“Your song is amazing,” He said, pleading for an answer that didn’t contain poison in your words “Ashton showed it to us the day it came out”

So he has heard it, you didn’t know if you should be proud or ashamed “Thanks”

“I forgot to congratulate you on your number one”

“You forgot to do a lot of things”

If there was ever a moment where you could give him the chance to redeem himself, this was it.

You saw how Calum shifted his weight from foot to foot, he had his lips pressed in a thin line and you could see how his eyes changed and fell into a deep pit of regret as tears were forming in the corner of his eye.

“I know the song’s about me-” He said.

“How did you figure that out?” You said sarcastically.

“Y/N…” He pleaded, running a hand through his face, but you were having none of that.

“Why did you do it, Calum?”

You needed an answer, something you could hold onto to eventually let go. Calum, however, was almost speechless.

The ticking of the clock became even louder as you counted the seconds until he spoke again. One, two, three…

Ten “I don’t know”

The answer cut right through you as you let a stream of tears roll down your cheek, not lifting your head to look at him in the eyes. It wasn’t what you expected, it was way worse.

Calum noticed your crying and started panicking, spilling every thought he had through his mouth “I-I don’t- I was drunk and she was there with our groups of friends and we were too drunk to even take notice of what was happening and we just kissed and- Y/N, I’m not perfect. We weren’t perfect, we weren’t even official and it was only a kiss and I thought it would be okay but then the tabloids and your message and I just- And she’s a great friend, she didn’t mean any harm but things happened and-” He stammered, unable to connect his thoughts as he desperately tried to fix something so you would stop crying.

“For me it was perfect” You cried “We were perfect in my mind, you made it perfect. God, Calum. Why didn’t you tell me? I spent months in agony trying to figure it out, to make it make sense! I beat myself up over and over again and there you were having the time of your life with a stranger!” Your voice was loud, not enough to yell, but enough to make it clear that you were fuming.

“What are you talking about?!” Calum said matching the tone of your voice “I missed you every fucking day but there was nothing I could do about it! You don’t know shit of what you’re talking about!”

You scoffed “Oh yeah! It surely seemed like you missed me! You never called me once, Calum. Not even to apologize and try to make it better”

“I didn’t know how!” He said, “I was scared that-”

“That I’d hate you?”

“That you’d forgive me,” Calum said in one breath, making you stare in shock “I-I didn’t want you to forgive me, Y/N, cause you deserve so much better. On tour I realized that I wasn’t ready for a relationship, no matter how much you mean to me and I didn’t know how to tell you that so-”

“And are you ready now? That’s why you are with her?” You interrupted, head filled with anger to even think straight.

“I’m not ready to be with either of you!”

The room felt silent once again.

You had no answer to that and you weren’t sure you wanted to hear more from him.

The rain outside your window started to calm down, only droplets of water were left as the memory of the storm that almost was.

Your legs gave out a minute later, sliding you down slowly onto the floor. Calum walked up to you and sat next to you, neither of you saying anything for what it seemed like hours.

“You said you loved me…” You said with a faint voice.

Calum sighed “I did. I do”

“And you love her too?”

He thought about it “I don’t know. I might” You closed your eyes as a tear fell down your cheek “She’s good to me, Y/N. And we really got close but-”

“I know,” You said with a soft sniffle “We weren’t perfect either”

“You do know I love you, right?” He said softly, turning his face towards you “And that everything we had was real. Every minute of it, every word in every song was true and it still is. All was real and it’s still there somewhere. I still want you in my life, Y/N, cause you make it better. I just,” He sighed “I need to figure my shit out”

“Yeah, you do” You said, making him chuckle darkly “But I can’t promise I’ll be here”

“I wouldn’t ask you to”

You sat there in silence for a few more moments, just enjoying each other's company before everything fades away.

“I love you, too” You said in a whisper, hoping that he won’t hear “I still fucking love you”

Calum sighed “I know”

“Guess that you didn’t mean what you wrote on that song about me

‘Cause you said forever now I drive alone past your street”

.

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* if your url is crossed please reach out to me so we can fix it

[bubblelixie]

So dispite that the fact that i cant dance, that doesnt stop my brain from imagining what slow dancing with danceracha would be like, like you went to watch them practice, they maybe try to show off in front of you, then they try to teach you how to dance, which turns into slow dancing.

Like i imagine lee know would be the only one to actually teach you to dance. And everytime you get something right, you get kiss as a reward.

Hyunjin would start out actually teaching you, but somehow, someway, it ends up with you, sat on his lap either cuddling or making out its one or the other.

Felix would just use it as an excuse to hold you close (not that he needs an excuse) In the end, no dance was learnt, but if someone were to walk in, theyed see you two swaying side to side,eyes closed as you both hold each other to a slow song in the back ground

But thats just my two cents -🍯

AHHHHH HONEY 🍯🍯🍯 I ABSOLUTELY ADORE THIS ASK OF YOURS ESP BECAUSE I MYSELF AM A DANCER SO THIS IS DEFINITELY AN IDEAL SCENARIO

and hey hey hey,, ofc you can dance <333

ALRIGHTY DANCERACHA TEACHING YOU HOW TO “DANCE” LETSGOOOO!!! ❤️❤️❤️

☆ﾟ.*･｡ﾟ☁︎︎ ♡ *.✧ ☆ﾟ.*･｡ﾟ☁︎︎ ♡ *.✧ ☆ﾟ.*･｡ﾟ☁︎︎ ♡ *.

lee know

you stood up jumping up and down clapping, proud of your boyfriend, as the music ended and minho was in his finishing pose. he walked over to you and befor you could say anything he grabbed your hands and brought you to the center of the dance practice room.

“min what are you doing?”

“well you’re always saying how amazing of a dancer i am, which is not wrong, but i wanna teach you how to dance”

“i don’t think that’s a good ide-“

“everytime you do a move right, you’ll get a kiss, how does that sound baby”

“mm okay, but go easy on me alright”

minho chuckled as he mumbled an ‘alright’ as he walked over to the computer to go through songs that you could learn to dance to, leaving you vulnerable in the middle of the room staring at yourself in the mirror(s).

“mm how about we do god’s menu chorus, you’ve seen us do it multiple times”

“uh, that seems kind of hard but alright”

“you’ll do fine”

he started off by showing what he would be teaching you, you already regretting everything.

“okay ready, stand right there next to me, your gonna throw your hands in the air facing up left to right and then bring them down like you’re chopping on a cutting board, the movements should be sharp as well”

you copied them moves of your boyfriend and he smiled at you, cupping your face and giving you a kiss on the lips

“just like that y/n see you’re doing so good”

honestly seeing how seriously he took dance amazed you and made you wanna learn on your own, although some of the movements you did that night were not as precise as your boyfriend’s you did still get your kisses, and he was still so very proud of you.

and let’s just say, almost every time you went to practice with him, you would come out knowing a new type of choreography.

☆ﾟ.*･｡ﾟ☁︎︎ ♡ *.✧ ☆ﾟ.*･｡ﾟ☁︎︎ ♡ *.✧ ☆ﾟ.*･｡ﾟ☁︎︎ ♡ *.

hwang hyunjin

you were watching your boyfriend hyunjin dancing to mmmh by kai,, amazed at how your boyfriend moved his body and knew just the right isolations between moves, he noticed you looking at him through the mirror and made him way over to you, the once loud music being drowned out from the gaze you had on each other.

hyunjin reached his hand out for you to grab, you stood up locking eyes with him.

“you’re such a good dancer you know that”

he hummed in response as he wrapped his arms around your waist as your face was buried into his damp shirt that covered his chest.

“what if i teach you to slow dance”

“i might break something”

he cocked his head at you then shook it in response.

“cmon it’ll be fun”

“okay okay fine, you win i’ll do it”

“yay, alright so you just have to follow me, drape your hands around my shoulders like this”

he said as he put your hands where they needed to be.

“and i’ll put my hands around your waist, and put your head where it was before, against my chest alright”

you put your face forward into his chest causing your boyfriend to giggle at how cute you looked

“y/n ,, baby you can breathe, just face the left”

“oh okay”

“now just follow my lead”

hyunjin began swaying the two of you and you weren’t looking down at you feet and this being the first time you’ve tried slowdancing, you stepped on his foot, he let out a little ow.

“hyun i’m sorry i knew this was a bad idea”

“no it wasn’t, let’s just take a break”

the two of you walked over to the couch in the room, hyunjin sat down first and patted his lap for you to si on, you sat facing him as he looked into your eyes. you blushed and he kissed your lips.

“you know i’m proud of you right”

you shrugged your shoulders and he giggled once again before kissing you, the two of you ended up laying on the couch and sweetly making out, you don’t know how this happened but you were definitely glad that it did.

☆ﾟ.*･｡ﾟ☁︎︎ ♡ *.✧ ☆ﾟ.*･｡ﾟ☁︎︎ ♡ *.✧ ☆ﾟ.*･｡ﾟ☁︎︎ ♡ *.

lee felix

“hey baby come here stand next to me”

your boyfriend felix said to you as he looked at you through the mirror, motioning for you to stand next to him. you stood up from the couch and let your arms make their way around your boyfriends shoulders, your fingers intertwined with each other. felix had wrapped his hands around your waist gently and the mood was sweet.

the next song that began to play was the only exception by paramore, you and felix smiled sweetly to yourselves since this was the song that you two would call ‘your song’ you and felix had began to slowly just sway to the music and everything was sweet, it was just the two of you.

the both of you felt so in love, you lifted your head from his chest and the two of you locked eyes. he placed a kiss on your lips and whispered softly

“i love you”

“i love you too”

you said before returning to resting your head on his chest. everything was perfect, you could hear his breathing and how fast his heart was beating, it made you giggle to yourself knowing you had such an effect on him and honestly he had the same one on you. the both of you both had your eyes closed now as felix hummed to the beat of the song. the door had opened but neither of you seemed to notice. chan had walked in, not saying anything since he didn’t want to interrupt the sweet moment that you and your boyfriend were now sharing.

besides, chan could go over lyrics with felix anytime, he could ask any member about it for now and discuss with felix later in the night. chan watched the two of you for a second, smiling, then closing the door behind him as he exited the dance practice room.

felix placed a kiss on your forehead, and began rubbing and scratching your back softly, and even when the song finished, the two of you continued slow dancing with each other.

☆ﾟ.*･｡ﾟ☁︎︎ ♡ *.✧ ☆ﾟ.*･｡ﾟ☁︎︎ ♡ *.✧ ☆ﾟ.*･｡ﾟ☁︎︎ ♡ *.