#if i can’t see the coke it no longer exists
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I couldn’t get anything done without Boostle happening in my head so I had to get this out. Everything is pain.
——
There’s a quiet gasp as the rush of air dissipates. Bright light fades back to the dim light of his workshop, and Ted turns instinctively to smile at his friend.
“Hey-”
The greeting dies in his mouth. This isn’t his Booster: there’s lines around his mouth, bags under his eyes without the goggles to hide them, dust on his suit and an almost lacklustre quality to his usually shining hair. It’s shorter, too.
“Teddy,” Booster all but breathes. The crack in his voice is something Ted associates with falling onto the sofa after a very long fight with some inter dimensional demon or alien or… anything but saying hello.
He knows immediately this Booster is from somewhere unpleasant.
“What happened?” He asks, taking his work gloves off as he steps forward to assess his friend. There are no injuries he can see, and that doesn’t mean much when it comes to internal bleeding or organ failure but still-
Booster just smiles at him tiredly, everything in his expression soft and yielding. “Nothing. Well… bit of trouble up in the ozone layer but nothing I can’t handle. I just- wanted to see you, is all.”
He takes in the way Booster is holding his hands, curled into fists at his sides as he always does when he’s restraining himself. Booster, his Booster from this time, does that more now. Ted doesn’t mention the fact he has noticed they don’t touch as much now - fewer casual hugs and less of Booster hanging off of him like a vine.
“How long has it been? For- for you, I mean?” He’s seen Booster in the last few hours. They’d had sandwiches and a coke.
“Five years. I… I’m trying to cut back.”
And if that doesn’t make Ted’s heart pound he doesn’t know what could.
“I missed you. I-” Future Booster’s lips tremble in that awful smile. “I shouldn’t, it’s not fair on- on either of us but I needed to…” tears start to pool in his big, blue eyes and Ted rushes to stop the man falling over as his knees give out.
He’s dead. Whenever Booster has come from, it’s a place he no longer lives in. He cradles Booster’s long body and sits them down on the floor, glad that at least the suit feels the same even if there is a bony quality to Booster’s body he doesn’t recognise. Or like. He plucks the not-quite filthy rag from his pocket and wipes at Booster’s face.
“Hey, hey buddy, it’s okay.”
It’s the wrong thing to say, apparently.
“No! No it’s not! I’m selfish, doing this! Jamie is doing so well and you’d be so proud of him but I can’t- I look at him and all I think about is you. I miss you so fucking much and it’s all kinds of wrong and dangerous for me to be here but I can’t help it!” Booster is nearly hysterical, grabbing onto Ted like he might fade out of existence at any moment. Maybe that’s what happens, sometime later in his life, but he knows better than to ask. “I’ll go, I promise, and I won’t come back this time but I- I needed to see you. Just for a minute.”
Booster looks at him with red eyes and it breaks Ted’s heart. He loves Booster, is just getting to grips with what that means, but that doesn’t make it any less true. They haven’t talked about it yet but Ted knows it’s part of what’s changed between them recently. And this Booster- he either knows and it was a thing before… whatever happened, or he knew and it wasn’t. Ted doesn’t know which is worse.
“I’m here, Boos,” he says weakly, reaching up to cup Booster’s face and stroke his cheekbone. “I’m here. You’ll be okay.”
The smile comes back, brighter and less strained, more like the Booster he knows and understands, and Ted smiles back. Booster leans into the contact and closes his eyes. His breathing starts to slow.
“Yeah…” He whispers. “I know. And I am, mostly, just… it gets to me sometimes. Missing you is hard. Hardest thing I’ve ever done, really.”
In another timeline this isn’t a thing, Ted thinks. There are infinite timelines, he understands, and for some reason he’s kind of glad this is the one he’s in. The gentle way Booster has started to cling to him now is something he won’t give up, even if it comes from something terrible. And being so important that Booster would travel so far to see him for just a moment is pretty good as far as ego-boosts go. He feels a bit guilty thinking that but it’s true.
After long minutes of silence, something the two of them have never been good at together, Booster takes a deep and hitching breath. “I gotta go,” he whispers, slipping from Ted’s grasp slowly but surely. “I’ll- goodbye, Teddy.”
“See you around, Booster.”
And then he’s gone. Another flash of light and the tingle of electricity on his skin. Ted stares at the place Booster has just been standing and tries to understand. He can’t, not in a million years and that isn’t exactly comforting.
But, he tells himself, he can make whatever time they have together better. He can give whatever Booster is in his own timeline some happy memories to keep.
Next time he sees Booster he’s going to make sure of that.
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k… could we please get a Drabble ab this scenario? Pretty please with cherry on top 😭 I am loving the angst train so MUCH! Thank you so much for hurting us more like this babe <3
https://www.tumblr.com/blog/view/nohoney/722969405344055296
the ask
y’all love the angst train
It’s intentional to hurt you but it’s never intentional to make you miserable. It’s one thing to see that pained look on your face and try to move on, and it’s a whole other thing to see you laying in bed all day and be so upset with them.
They can admit it… they went too far.
“Baby… please get out of bed. You don’t have to leave the room if you don’t want to, just at least get up for a little.” Keigo’s voice is gentle as he tries to coax you to get up. His hand is warm on your shoulder and he pressed a small kiss to your temple but you don’t have a reaction to his affection. “I’ll come back in a few minutes, okay?”
You give him a noncommittal hum in response, pulling the blanket back over your shoulder since he pulled it away.
Touya and Keigo had been taking turns to try to get you out of bed since your bender had ended. For three days straight you were up, awake on adderall to keep you focused and cocaine to keep you a little perked up. You were trying to keep yourself distracted from all the cheating. When they finally noticed that you weren’t actually resting or eating or taking any pause, they took away the coke and the adderall and you were forced to crash. Right now you’re on day four of having not left the apartment, you called in sick for the three classes you’re taking for the semester, two of which are online.
Keigo runs his hand down his face and sighs into his palm when he leaves the bedroom. Touya is on the balcony and chain smoking his stress away. The both of them know that they fucked up. Revenge cheating the one time was one thing, but they both just couldn’t stop the thrill of seeing you so hurt every time they came back to you.
Now look where they are after being selfish.
“Do you want to go this time?” Keigo asks as he comes out to the balcony. Touya offers the cigarette he’s smoking to him, heaving a heavy sigh and unsure if there’s anything different he could say from what he’s already tried. Plus he couldn’t stand it that you wouldn’t turn around to face him.
But he couldn’t really let Keigo do all the work of trying to get you up. “I’ll try…” he sighs more to himself.
When Touya opens the door, he sees you go under the covers and hide. It’s a pretty big indicator that you’re getting more upset the more they visit you in the room without you needing to say anything to them. He doesn’t like to hear you sniffle under the covers though.
“Doll, you know we can’t have you stay in bed any longer.” Touya says as he approaches the bed, “You need to get up. We can talk about what happened.”
He’ll say sorry to you for hurting you so badly. He just felt so betrayed after learning that you’d been messaging Shigaraki behind his back. It was too easy to hurt you and he just wanted you to feel as bad as he felt when they found out. It was barely about the cocaine you were sniffing behind his back; he just didn’t want you to need anyone else but him for anything.
You’re his whole world and he only wants to exist for you.
Muffled words are heard beneath the blanket and Touya strains his ears to listen to what you said. He asks you to say it again but you give him silence. “Come on, I’m fucking trying here! Every goddamn day, I’m begging you to be up on your feet! To fucking look at me!” Touya expresses his frustration.
It hurts him to have hurt you this badly but he also doesn’t know how to dress and fix the wounds he gave you in the first place.
“(Name),” Touya kneels on the side of the bed and pulls at the blanket to reveal you, “look at me!”
Just look at him.
It’s all he wants.
Look at him so that he knows he hasn’t lost you.
And you do.
Slowly you sit up and look at Touya.
You have an angry, heartbroken gaze set on him. Your jaw is tense and like so many memories he has of you, you try to refuse to let yourself cry. When you get that look on your face, trying to be defiant against your own emotions, it’s when you’re just about to collapse.
He’s relieved.
All your emotions, your jealousy and anger and happiness, they all belong to him.
“My baby, my gorgeous baby…” Touya speaks, feeling a little bit of weight lift off his shoulders, “You’re fucking beautiful when you’re mad at me. You’re my little crybaby.”
He dares to crawl onto the bed and catches your hand when you try to hit him. You protest and tell him to leave you alone, to fuck off and go away but he invades your space. “God, I need you so badly baby. You know they were nothing to me. They’re always nothing. Let me make it up-“
You manage to shake his hand off your wrist and you slap Touya in the face. You’ve hardly eaten so even putting all your energy into that one hit drains you fast. It made you lightheaded so you’re forced to lay back down on the bed. Your angry, teary gaze remains on him though.
“Are the two of you fighting?” Keigo comes in to find the blankets pulled off the bed and Touya with his cheek red, “Touya, don’t antagonize her. We’re supposed to be making up.”
“I was trying, but she doesn’t want to.” Touya grumbles, ignoring the sting on his cheek.
“What makes you think I want to fuck either of you after the week of hell you gave me?” You speak angrily to them, the most words you’ve said since a few days ago, “The two of you are awful to me.”
“We’re sorry, okay? We only did it because you hurt us first.”
They know and they’re sorry, but only because you started it.
They crowd your space, ignoring your curses and with no energy in you, you have a difficult time trying to push them away. You know your boys and how their guilt trips them up. The easiest way to harm them the most was for you to self destruct. To go on a bender until you either passed out or they finally noticed and forced you off.
When it comes down to it, they’re always going to end up saving you from yourself. Sometimes you’d wish that they leave you to spiral, like after that huge fight, so you could indulge in all the bad things you want with no supervision. But knowing that they’d agonize over you, coddle you or beg you just to bring you back from the brink of your self destructive habits…
It does remind you again that they do love you.
It’s all you want from them.
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Start
[First chapter of my AU, also found on a03 which is linked at the end]
CW// Paranoia, bugs under skin
Tord’s P.O.V
_______________________
I reach my hand out to the ceiling. I don’t want to open my eyes yet. Right now I’m still at the house. It’s there, I’m there.
I can hear the tv clear as day, and I can smell the stench of alcohol coming from Tom. Foul, too strong. Usually I would scrunch up my nose, make a snarky comment, but I basked in the smell now while I could.
Edd is right beside me. I can hear him sipping on his coke. Ringo is purring on his lap. I can almost feel the rumbling in my chest. All fuzzy and safe.
Matt is on the floor, his back is leaning against my leg. I can hear him chewing on popcorn. And he keeps setting the container by my foot.
I know I’ll knock it over later.
Sinking further into the ragged couch. I know it’s red. I don’t see it, but I know it. Like how I know how to breath. Like how I know everything.
I sat there for what felt like hours, but I never got bored. If I could, I would do this for the rest of my existence.
The only thing to interrupt me is my bladder. Damn my human need to piss.
I groan, prying my eyes open. My arm is still left high in the air. Palm stretching out. I want to lay here long enough to go back. The bed isn’t comfortable, but it’s familiar.
Eventually I can’t push back the feeling any longer. Standing up I step into the bathroom. Flicking on the dim yellow florescent.
It makes my skin look green, or maybe I really am as sick as I thought. Leaning over the sink, I suck in before spitting into it. It’s tinged red. That makes my gut twist.
My left arm now reaching to wipe the drool from my face, I feel the nerves in my arm as I bend it. But nothing ever meets my face.
I suppose I’ll never really get used to the feeling.
Quickly wiping away the spit with the one arm I had. After a few moments, I go piss like I’ve been meaning too.
Afterwards I take a step back and sit onto the edge of the tub. Its porcelain is yellow and sickly.. the edges grossly stained from the years of water.
I grimace at the realization of what a shithole I had gotten into.
The only life this place has, is some lone bug skittering across the tile. A bug… I feel my stomach flip as I stand up. Quickly hopping over it, I silently tread back into the bedroom.
I could feel it now crawling under my skin. Millions of them skittering across my flesh, and burrowing through my muscle. My hand reaches up and desperately scratches at the stump of my left arm. The scratching ringing in what remain of my other ear. This place was hell. I worried they would soon reach my brain, and sever what left I had there. Maybe snap off the connection of my other eye. Or writhe through my nostrils.
I realize I’ve been staring down at the ragged carpet for far too long. My breath catches in my throat, my chest aches. Tightening around my lungs as I gasp out. My head feels like a swarm of locust.
Even when I do breath in ,I can’t tell if I really am breathing or not. No feeling of the air rushing through my wind pipe, nothing filling my lungs. This place is too dirty. Too dirty to breath. Or live.
I had to go, I want to live.
Pulling over some tattered old white t-shirt, and then my old black jacket over it. It’s beaten and has some rips and such, but I’ll take it over the hoodie. I don’t bother to tie the laces of my boots, one handed takes too long.
All I do is check that I have some cigarettes and a lighter in my pocket, before disappearing out the door.
The crawling wouldn’t stop until I lit up a cigarette ,and took a nice long drag. It’s misty out as I quietly head down the creaky stairs of the apartment.
The only noise is the wind blowing, carrying the fog.
(Link if you’d rather read on a03)
#eddsworld#eddswolrd#red leader#fanfic#eddsworld au#eddsworld tord#horror au#eddsworld fandom#eddsworld fanfic#eddsworld red leader#eddsworld red army#eddsworld future#eddsworld the end#eddsworld horror
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Thoughts on Steve's self esteem?
A lot of people depict him as self-deprecating, to the extent he's convinced he's a complete idiot incapable of doing anything, and I get where that comes from but personally I feel like it's the show/other characters that view him that way.
Steve seems pretty self-assured and sometimes even overconfident to me? And not in an overly exaggerated 'hiding self-loathing' way, he just comes of as pretty okay with the person he is post-s1. He doesn't backtrack when everyone is irritated with him being 'dumb' (some of many examples being in S3 with the music that Dustin and Robin tell him doesn't matter, or S2 when he uses sports analogies to tell the kids they weren't going to the tunnels).
I mean he's definitely insecure about how others perceive him and his future, or lack thereof, but Jo Keery doesn't play him as having internalized the general consensus of 'Steve's an idiot'. At least not until s4 when things are rocky between him and Dustin, who's being more condescending than in the past.
idk it's just another thing that's treated as fact even though I don't see much basis for it in canon. Maybe I'm just misinterpreting something
well i do think steve has a pretty low self esteem, but i agree with you regarding his own perception of his intelligence. steve is aware of his academic shortcomings and the fact that he isn’t the smartest guy in the room, but it doesn’t really seem to eat him up inside. the jokey way he’s like “c minus ;)” and how he straight up tells nancy in s4 that he’s a combination of confident + dumb really just gives me the impression that he’s not embarrassed by or insecure over his intelligence.
however i think steve is deeply insecure over his appearance and he most definitely has like a complex about needing to be perceived as hot all the time. works cited: meticulous hair routine, refusing ice cream to avoid gaining weight, chalks his rejections in s3 up to his work uniform “ruining” his appearance, apparently no longer waxing his chest because girls like it (this one is rlly funny admittedly), even in the coke ad he’s like dustin stop wearing denim vests girls don’t like that 🙄 like he simply can’t exist without constantly thinking “am i being hot rn if someone looked at me would they think i’m pretty am i attractive am i desirable does my hair look good does anyone want me” and clearly bases so much of his self worth around the answer always being yes. looking deeper it’s moreso that his family unit has left him constantly craving love and attention, therefore he’s always looking for a romantic partner, therefore he always wants to appear desirable. but it’s also like i KNOW he’d fall victim to the modern day tiktok anti wrinkle straw/face ice rolling/uv ray mask propaganda
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Ribcage X Andy Biersack- Part 3
Masterlist
"There's one thing you should know about me Delia Vincent, I don't date. Got no heart to break and emptiness is safe, keep it that way."
He was adamant in his choices...
...But then things changed.
Not my Gif
"Damn I did not expect you to be a whiskey girl with all due respect." Jinxx laughs as Jake pours out a drink for Delia.
"I used to be a big rum drinker, but during my time at university I think I drank too much of it, and now I can't even look at the stuff without feeling slightly ill." Delia laughs alongside Jinxx whilst slightly cringing at the memories of getting absolutely fucked at university. "I guess whiskey is the next best thing."
"So you said you studied in Italy? That's quite a distance." Jake comments handing Delia the whiskey and coke he had just poured for her.
"Yeah, well I'm actually half Italian. My dad was born and raised there before moving to the States and he met my mum so stayed here. I found a really good production and tech course there so thought it would be fun to go back to my family roots for a few years, try to pick up some of my inheritance a little bit." Delia tells "Just please don't ask me to speak any Italian because it's atrocious, even having lived there for 5 years."
"Can't be anymore atrocious than the little mishap tonight." Andy explains as a snide remark as he re-enters- the girl he was all up close and personal with mere moments ago no longer in sight.
"Andy, it was one tiny mic malfunction which I got sorted straight away. I didn't mean to cause any issues and I'm sorry if I did." Delia was determined to stay calm, she was not about to lose her temper with this man on the first night- even if he was already getting under her skin.
"Don't you fucking Andy me! You don't know the first thing about me so don't start pretending to be all chummy and apologise for fucking up your job." Andy fumes staring her down.
"You know what? I'm trying to be nice to you and act civil simply for the fact that I'll be working with you for the next few weeks. Is it really so hard for you to show a little bit of respect towards me?" Delia stands up to defend herself; not that standing up did much to her benefit due to the sheer height difference between herself and the arrogant singer. Trying to remain professional with this guy surely was difficult when he was stood there looking like he could throw a punch at any given moment, Delia would be damned if she were to stand there any take any abuse from him.
"You want respect? Do your fucking job and stay the hell out of my way. If you want to bond and be all chummy with anyone else then fine but do it when I'm not around cause I'm not interested." Andy continues to spit; the rest of the band just sitting there awkwardly not sure if they should break the two up or remain silent.
"Fine, have it your way." Delia shrugs before turning her attention to the rest of the band "Sorry guys, I'll see you all later."
"Bye." Lonny waves awkwardly whilst the rest of the band kind of just send a smile her way trying to ignore the tension in the room.
"Don't forget to shut the door on your way out." Andy laughs dryly, now he's just purposely being annoying.
"Screw you." Delia states whilst rolling her eyes before heading towards the door of the band's tour bus.
"No thanks, you're actually not my type." Andy continues to laugh as Delia just flips him a middle finger before existing- she did indeed shut the door behind her too just to keep the diva happy.
"Dude, that was cold even for you." Lonny shakes his head at his bandmate after Delia has left.
"We've worked too hard to let some girl fuck this up for us, I've worked too hard to let some girl fuck me up again." Andy breaks his guard ever so slightly, even in front of he band he usually refrains from breaking; he can't afford the walls he built to crumble down.
"Andy, I know things were hard but it's been 2 years, you need to move on from J-" Lonny begins
"Don't finish that, don't say her name please." Andy cuts him off not wanting to hear the name of the woman who ruined him.
"Andy in the nicest way possible, you've been a dick ever since. It was understandable to begin with but now it's just uncalled for, Delia seems lovely too, would it really be that hard to just be nice or at least civil towards her." CC continues the questioning which makes Andy sigh.
"Look, it's just easier, no feelings means no more getting hurt." Andy explains as he pours himself a straight whiskey before taking a sip.
"One of these days though you're going to catch feelings, especially if you keep sleeping around with women you meet." CC states.
"Or an STD." Jinxx mutters under his breath.
"Dude." Jake hits Jinxx around the head "uncalled for."
"Just stating facts." Jinxx shrugs trying not to laugh whilst Andy sends him a dirty look.
"Look Andy, can you just at least try to get on with Delia? At least for the sake of us so it's less awkward. Plus Shevy is joining us again tomorrow, surely you're not going to be a prick to her too." Jake states making Andy sigh.
"Ah shit yeah, At least we won't be running around in shit make up again aye?" Andy laughs trying to deter from the conversation at hand. "I suppose I'll try to be nice. I'm not making any promises though."
---------------------
One thing that Delia was happy about was the fact that she had a separate bus to the band. She could not imagine having to share a bus with the guys, even before meeting them (more specifically Andy) she was praying she would not have to share with them. Yes Delia had her silly little relationships in the past and little flings but believe it or not she still sometimes felt awkward around guys. All these years her career has been more important to her than boys, whilst her friends were settling down with a family and a stable job, she was prepared to take the risk of instability to do what she loved; so far it was paying off.
Shaking the thoughts away, Delia decides that it would just be best to call it a night. The thought of sleeping in a moving bus was definitely an odd concept to her considering she had never even fallen asleep in a moving car or even on a plane before; but there's always a first for everything. At least joining the crew as of tomorrow will be another female, that is for sure something Delia was looking forward to, having some girl talk time backstage before shows would likely be helpful. Plus it would just be nice to actually have someone join her this in cramped little bus, potentially make it more cosy.
Surely no one could be more infuriating than Andy Biersack.
#andy biersack#andy black#andy bvb#jinxx bvb#cc bvb#lonny eagleton#lonny bvb#jake pitts#jake bvb#black veil brides#bvb#black veil brides fanfic#bvb fanfic
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Children of all ages are fascinated by buses, and it’s easy to see why. Municipal public transit is a glorious, enabling presence in their lives, a signifier that freedom from the parental yoke of asking for rides to the mall is possible. Even today, when the mall no longer exists (buses still stop at an empty field for fifteen seconds, out of respect,) kids will find their first taste of the rest of their lives thanks to a friendly transit operator.
They could also be interested in them because buses are a big, heavy, visually-distinctive vehicle that makes vroom-vroom sounds. This interpretation is also perfectly valid. Many fully-grown adults, like myself, are thrilled at the opportunity to discover a new kind of niche single-purpose vehicle, even moreso if it is possible to buy million-mile examples from a nearby farmer’s yard. That’s what I did last weekend: buy a fuckin’ bus.
You see, in my city, they had a little bit too much coke in the 80s. Transit was going to be reinvented, not by offering predictable schedules, more frequent bussing, or even routes that were designed by people who had ever actually rode a bus. No, they were going to Knight Rider up a bitch, and buy some super-advanced, prototype front-wheel-drive bus that looked like a Ford Aerostar made love to a Star Trek shuttlecraft. Naturally, because the strength of any bus fleet is being able to have parts on hand, this didn’t really work out. Those rare little buses ended up being decommissioned, where they ended up at the aforementioned farmer’s shit-spattered irrigation field between two Darts and about sixty percent of a Ramcharger.
For me, not being able to find parts from an automaker that no longer exists is not really a problem. Virtually all of the vehicles I’ve ever owned have come from brands that had long ago gone bankrupt, remembered only in half-correct Craigslist posts by delusional idiots who found one in a barn and were convinced that rare means expensive. When you can’t find parts, you have to make parts, and that’s what I did, thanks to a neighbour who wasn’t paying especially close attention to his brand new F-150.
Now, I can give rides to sixteen of my flunky friends, even if it is only from one end of the drag strip to the other end. Admittedly, I don’t let them go for the really important passes, because of all that extra weight, but public transit isn’t about giving people what they want. It’s about looking cool for children and giving wiki editors something to do.
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a discussion of jabberwock with team interaction hcs + deeper nash analysis
for anon who asked "Can we get some headcanons for jabberwock members or like headcanons when they're together? (its okay if it was jason or nash only)" and made me realise it's about time i get these guys' personalities down
note before we start: cause i didn't know their names until i wrote this
zack is the bald one, allen is the one with a headband, nick is the other white guy apart from nash.
team hcs
nick gets bullied for being under 6ft, but not by jason
nah good old jason teases all of them for being short fucks, emphasising that they’re all 5ft tall in comparison to him
he 100% lifts things out of the others' reach and then laughs for ages after when they try get them
unfortunately though, they’re all used to this and now just ignore him. either that or nash stares at him so intensely jason actually repents and hands it back
zack’s another one with a very good glare, but he’s used it too often on jason and it’s since stopped working.
also jason gives me ‘straightens his back as much as possible when getting measured so he’ll measure in as 7ft’ vibes
oh and he thinks he could wrestle a gator and win. i’ve got no explanation for that except for the fact you can't tell me it's ooc.
allen’s very protective over his white headband - it’s his lucky item - but he’d never let anyone know that
he’s confident in his abilities like the rest of them, but there’s nothing wrong with wearing a headband just in case
(nash knows anyway)
they watch nba matches together and do not shut up once throughout the entire match - lots of jeering, booing each other if someone criticises a player they like, lots of “i could do that”, lots of “get your fucking hand out of my popcorn do you want me to punch you in the face” etc
they used to all live together, but nash has since moved out. he was sick and tired of trying to make people do chores, as the only one who kept their room clean.
yeah the others’ house looks like a heap of trash but also very much “where’s my toothbrush?” “it’s in the third coke can by the orange peel behind the sink” *silence* “yeah thanks” *a minute later* “who the fuck has been using my toothbrush”
they’re all “bro your dribbling sucks why are you on this team loser” to one another, but also very protective (aka arrogant for one another) if anyone else Dared to criticise one of their teammates
then again, what kind of person would criticise jabberwock
half of the time he spends with jabberwock, nash is a Single Mother TM trying to get a bunch of man children to behave; the other half of the time, he's just as bad as the rest of them
i talk about this a lot but i get the feeling nash is an exceptionally hard worker, but at least he gets to let his hair down around his teammates sometimes
nash is also the only person jason thought was truly ‘strong’ at first sight
and nash is also the only person who can beat jason in a fight, and also the only person who can get nash to train, and also the only person who can.. [etc. you see my point].
(n.b jason calls himself the ‘almighty me’, nash says that ‘even god can’t beat me’. point made.)
you know how jason silver’s motto is “I have never thought”
imagine him proudly stating that, before zack adds with a straight face, “yeah cause nash does it for you.”
in short, the team would fall apart without nash.
although the team’s communication and coordination is very fine tuned, nash is the guy who keeps everything in order off the court to prevent what is essentially a team of aces ('main characters', if you will) from falling apart
they hang out together a lot, but do all have other friend groups that do not overlap
team bbqs
unofficial rule not to criticise anchovies on pizza because the one time nick did, nash snapped
however pineapple on pizza is fair game, even though zack quite likes it
more than once, jason has brought a girl home and nick has stolen her attention away with effortless trick shots, funky ball manoeuvring etc
more than once nick has had to trek to nash’s place (with a black eye) at midnight to have somewhere to sleep
do you see a correlation?
oh and everyone in the team has been walked in on by nash when they were naked with some girl
nash has absolutely no shame
he apologises to the girl with a charming albeit insincere tone, and then remains standing in front of the bed/couch until his teammate does what he expected of them
usually it involves not having come to practice
allen learnt a few (emphasis on ‘few’) words of japanese before they travelled to japan and was disappointed that he never got to use them
that said, one of those words was hentai
and now a quick analysis of some panels
a) so there's at least one player who wasn't underestimating vorpal swords. if i were to overanalyse, i'd add that nick's wearing a hoodie (possibly athletic wear) whilst nash has a 'fancy' shirt on; perhaps nick wasn't expecting them to be going to host clubs instead of chilling/training?
b) i know what you're thinking: "how can you say nash is a hard worker when he didn't want to practice for the match". i reckon he was still pretty high on the complete and utter success of their previous match, that plus being around girls, encouraged him to have a more 'jason-y' personality. (either that or fujimaki didn't want to add too much depth/realism into nash's character bc he's unequivocally the villain, right? and obviously this helps with the plot and the jabberwock bad geniuses gom good geniuses rhetoric.)
earlier, i mentioned how nash is the only one that could keep the team together, and is thus the undeniable head of the team; here's a clear example. you can see both jason and zack have no interest in continuing - if anything, there's disgust in their faces, kinda just saying "we spat on all of japan, now we can go home". whereas nash won't allow for the slightest of possibilities that there might exist a team stronger than them, and hence agrees to the match. the key thing here is that the others do as he says without too much fuss.
another thing to note is nash's reference to harakiri. now what can we make of that, alongside his proficiency in japanese, in relation to his character? the way i see it, he's either a weeb or possibly has some japanese lineage. (you could spin that even further and say his mother was japanese, taught him the language, then abandoned him, and hence his almost excessive hatred/mockery of the japanese people.) (is that why he wanted to do another match in japan..?)
just a quick point. "thanks to him" - jason isn't so superior as to think that he could win this match effortlessly without nash's support. links pretty nicely with my earlier idea about how nash is the only person jason has always considered 100% strong.
yet another point about how nash is the strongest of the team in pretty much every way you can think of. you know how scary/powerful you have to be to shut jason up (after he's getting real pissed from being prevented from scoring?)
i personally think this is a pretty important panel, though i've never seen anyone mention it before. did nash grow up training in a professional basketball training situation, as opposed to growing up playing streetball like i suspect the others did? well, to answer that question, imma bring in another panel.
here we see visible rage on nick, zack and jason's faces - they can't accept their loss, which is fair enough. but i'd argue that nash's face seems to depict sadness more than it does anger like to rest of them, look at how downturned his mouth is - and he's looking away from the 'camera', as if hiding his shame.
when you combine that with what he says here, i have no doubt that this is someone who has experienced some proper lows in basketball - as would be expected from someone who's played 'properly'. he's possibly not even a prodigy like the rest of them - compare jason's motto with his. "i have never thought" versus "do not suppose opportunity will knock twice at your door".
there's various lines of thinking you could design with this - he might have been trained by alex (hence, himuro having heard of jabberwock, though he should have known of a team as popular of jabberwock regardless), he might have grown up with professional basketballer parents etc. but here's my own little theory:
nash received serious basketball training from early on - maybe because his parents were living vicariously through him, or maybe he always loved the sport and wanted to be no1. so there he was training away, but, as he grew older, it started getting all a bit too much.
he didn't want to dedicate his entire life to basketball. after all, his hobby is water sports and his speciality is boxing; that's a lot of different things to be keeping up with, whereas the pipeline for promising athletes demands people focus solely on basketball. as a result, nash become bitter: stopped attending practice regularly, got in trouble for trash talk of increasing severity, etc.
result was he was kicked out of the program.
only when he was no longer playing basketball again, did he realise how much he missed it. and hence he got into streetball, where he was tremendously successful as someone with so much training, 'elite skills', and the overly confident attitude to boot.
then, one fateful day, he met jason and the rest is history.
#jabberwock deserved some love and they got it!#i wasted too much time on this but happy jabberwock sunday everyone#but i did like rereading extra game#it's all about those little details man#jabberwock#allen#zack#nick#nash gold jr#jason silver#knb#kuroko no basket#kuroko no basuke#kirisaki daichi scenarios#hcs#headcanons#extra game#knb extra game#imagines#scenarios#manga panels#mangacaps#character analysis#team interactions
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incorrect quotes anon, i have a super angsty idea that i think you’ll LOVE. so basically michael x reader but she died at on of the outpost, and were basically the only good part about michael and him not caring about anything anymore (even more than usual lmao). and it’s just grief and sadness and anger. it’s fine if not, if you do i’d love to make incorrect quote for it also! have a great day/night!!!! ❤️❤️
broken promises [m.l.]
pairing: michael langdon x fem!reader
warnings: angst, death, swearing, blood, i don’t think this is accurate i tried to research on lilith but it was difficult but i liked the idea so this version of lilith is mostly based off the one from caos
a/n: i got a little carried away lmao
words: 1.6k
slightly au! i’m going to pretend michael can’t bring dead people back ✌️
y/n is a witch. but she’s a different kind of witch. she was born for a very specific purpose, one that she didn’t even understand yet. she knew she was different though.
she really knew she was different when her supreme, cordilia, tried to kill her.
she ran away from her sisters that night. she didn’t need cordilia to kill her. she already felt dead. defeated. the only real family she’s had wanted her dead.
that’s when she met michael.
michael despised all witches, but there was something about y/n that dragged him to her. the two of them were like magnets and they both felt it. the world always pulling them towards each other.
she met michael when he was at a loss. y/n wasn’t the only one cordilia hurt that day.
y/n found michael in the woods, he looked ill and lost.
y/n brought him to a dark church she saw a couple days prior. they found a woman there that was eager to help them back on their feet and get them well and nourished.
that was a big step for michael. after that visit michael finally got sense of himself. unfortunately, y/n still didn’t understand her purpose.
“i want to help michael, i really do but i don’t know what i’m suppose to do. you’re the antichrist! i’m just a rejected witch.” y/n tells michael gloomily.
tomorrow was a big day for him, he was getting back his ms. mead. of course y/n was happy for him, but she couldn’t shake the feeling that he wouldn’t need her anymore.
“you are so much more than that. you are more powerful than you think and you are a big help to me. and even if you don’t serve a purpose for the apocalypse i care about you and want you by my side.” michael looks into your eyes and grabs your hands.
that’s where y/n and michael shared their first kiss.
“can you help him or not.” you interrupt the two idiotic coke heads.
“oh. who’s this?” mutt said cockily.
“she’s a witch on my side. her coven tried to kill her. don’t get any ideas though she’s mine.” michael said protectively.
you can’t help but smirk to yourself.
“alright, sorry. please don’t light me on fire.” mutt says defensively.
this is the second time michaels been here. this time he decided to bring you along so maybe you could get an idea what to do next if jeff and mutt didn’t.
“do you have some special marking on you, or have demonic fire powers?” jeff asks you while mutt looks for something to help michael.
y/n shows him the upside down triangle that appeared on her wrist about a month ago.
“not going to lie, that’s kinda lame.” jeff says disappointed.
y/n gives the man a glare and with the wave of her hand the glass bowl of cocaine was now broken across the floor.
“WHAT THE FU-.” jeff yelled before mutt stepped in.
“we can worry about it later. look at the book of revelations. have you read it?” mutt asks.
michael looks at them before opening the book with his magic.
y/n flips through the book when michael is done looking for anything else.
“who is lilith?” y/n ask monotone.
“lilith is technically a witch. she was the wife of adam but refused to sleep with him. eventually she went and sided with the devil. the devil turned on her. lots of variations and stories of her. no ones quite totally sure.” jeff explains.
y/n looks at michael with a skeptical look on her face and he gives one back.
“holy shit, you’re totally lilith! but for the new world!” mutt exclaims.
y/n stands up and look down upon the two.
“how would you know?” y/n raised her eyebrows at them.
“you’re coven tried to kill you, you just so happen to be with the antichrist, the triangle on your arm...makes sense.” jeff says.
y/n stays still staring at them. they gulp under her gaze before she walks out of the room.
michael hurries after the girl, needing to know what’s on her mind.
“y/n, what is the matter dear?” michael asks, linking his pinky with hers.
“i do not want to be lilith.” y/n says strongly.
“if being lilith means i will lose you in the end i don’t want it!” she lets go of michaels pinky and storms off to the car.
“darling you will never lose me! i may have to follow my fathers plans to end this world, but i’m still in charge!” michael yells to y/n.
“promise me!” y/n yells back, finally walking towards micheal.
“promise me.” y/n repeats, this time her tone barley above a whisper.
“i promise.”
-
2 years later
present time
the apocalypse is here. the world is gone. hell is on earth.
and you’ve been by michaels side the whole time.
he kept his promise
and now you were standing in front of your ex-coven.
they were back to kill you, again.
“come back to finish the job?” you bitterly ask cordilia.
“i had no choice! you were made for evil, i was never going to be able to peel you away from him and you would always choose him over your sisters!” cordilia yells.
“well michael never tried to kill me like you did! you were the only family i had!” you yell back, tears brimming your eyes.
you furrow your brows trying to hear what cordilia was mumbling but before you realized it’s too late.
“ms mead!” michael cried.
cordilia had killed his ms mead again.
“fuck you!” you say angerly stepping closer to cordilia.
as you walk closer cordilia is pushed back by your magic, a trail of fire leading behind you.
“how are you doing that?” madison asks in shock.
“because i’m the new supreme.” you smirk.
cordilia laughs bitterly and you look back at her.
“you can never be the supreme. you are a demoness! you are and never will be a real witch!” cordilias words burn in your brain as the realization hits you.
“mallory.” you whisper to yourself.
“precisely.” cordilia smiles.
while michael was having his last moments with ms mead, in the corner of your eye you saw madison grab the machine gun and go to point it at michael.
“repellendum malum minitar, ut nobis!” you quickly shout the protection spell.
you repeat the spell and step closer to michael.
“tutela eorum vinculum!” cordilia starts chanting against your spell.
you repeat the spell but as she gets closer the sheild starts breaking.
“et defendat mea!” you shout louder. the shield starts breaking as the other witches join in on cordilias chants.
“amans vitae meae praesidium.” you say quietly before the shield breaks.
bullets shoot throughout the room before your bloody body slumps against the wall. you feel awful, they shot you enough to make you weak so you can’t heal, but strong enough to let you bleed out.
“y/n?” michael says quietly, before he is shot as well.
myrtle cuts a piece of michaels hair and walks back to mallory.
“hurry mallory, before he heals.” cordilia rushes, and the witches leave the room.
michael wakes and looks over to see y/n’s bloody body.
“y/n! no, no, no!” michael lifts you up so he can hold you.
“michael you have to listen to me.” you cough, as the metallic taste fills your mouth.
“i can save you, i know father can. just stay with me a little longer.” michael pleads.
you smile at him and shake your head.
“listen, don’t kill cordilia. i’m not the supreme it’s mallory. she will go back and kill you in a past timeline, so none of this will never happen.”
“i have to! look what they did to you!” tears fall from his face.
“michael baby, i’ll be okay. i’ll be okay, but you got to make sure you don’t kill cordilia. it’ll bring mallory’s powers to full strength.” you assure him.
michael shakes his head as more tears fall from his crystal blue eyes.
“i love you, i love you so much. i’ll be with you soon.” michael squeezes your hand.
“i love you too michael, so much.” you let out a shaky sigh and squeeze his hand back.
“goodbye michael.” you smile as your eyes start to close.
“no, don’t say goodbye! baby please open your eyes again.” michael weeps.
“fuck! i wasn’t suppose to lose you. i wasn’t suppose to leave you, i fucking promised!” michael screams, while his sobs continue.
“it’s too late langdon.” cordilias chill voice fills michaels ears.
michaels sadness quickly turns to anger as he turns around to see the bitches smug face.
“you killed the love of my life!” michael shrieks.
cordilia hums and stares back at michael before waving the knife out of his hand into hers.
before michael can do or say anything cordilia rams the knife into her chest.
michael is at a loss for words.
he have lost
“no!” he screamed as cordilia fell to her death.
“no.” he repeated while falling to his knees.
he puts his face in his hands and starts sobbing.
he has lost everyone and now he lost the war.
he lost everything because of a job he never asked to have.
“poor michael.” myrtal said quietly while walking over to him.
“please! please just kill me.” michael says defeated.
“you’re the antichrist at his full form. i’m afraid killing you is impossible. you’ll have to live knowing you’ll never have her again.” myrtal says while waking away.
michaels cries continue.
he’ll never see you again.
you’ll never see him again.
in the new timeline he doesn’t exist to you and never will.
that’s what truly killed him.
#michael langdon#michael langdon x reader#ahs#ahs apocalypse#apocalypse#cody fern#cody fern x reader#micheal langdon#micheal langdon x reader#fanfic#angst#ahs angst#michael langdon smut#michael langdon angst
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get to know the blogger
tagged by the lovely @applecrumbledore to do a 20 questions and 20 tags game. a bit late with this reply but better than never!
About Me
Name: phyn, phynali, redhead
Sign: capricorn and it shows
Height: under 5 feet, yes it is a curse
Birthday: Jan 3
Time: this is getting weirdly specific
Favorite band/artists: i’m literally So Bad at picking favourites i honestly don’t know. uhhh Fleetwood Mac? carseat head rest? idk guys music is good go listen to lots of it
Last movie: The Gray Man
Last show: the Sandman (it was really good!)
When I created this blog: like several several years ago with the username ‘theregoestheneighbourhood’ but eventually changed it to dyed-red to match my ao3 pseud. but i only started using this blog actively in like early 2020 and at the time refused to tag anything or interact with folks haha (sorry i’m a curmudgeon)
What I post: a lot of wincest, weirdcest, and some gencest, but especially content about sam and dean. stuff i think is interesting about characterization especially
Last thing I googled: John Cena’s filmography (i was trying to remember the name of the show Peacemaker)
Other blogs: @/phynali is my main, @/coldtomyflash is the side for my former massive hyperfixation, coldflash
Do I get asks: sometimes? i really love getting asks though so please send them. i do have one unanswered one in my inbox from a million years ago about the episode ‘ask jeeves’ that i haven’t rewatched and can’t reply to properly (yet) but i TRY to answer the ones i get
Following: i’m at 144 which is way too high. for the first 8 years i spent on this site i kept it under 100 except for little blips. since joining the SPN fandom it’s it’s 1.5x what it was before and i keep itching to cull it but also don’t want to
Average hours of sleep: ~7, but i genuinely need like 9 so sometimes i crash for 11-13 hours
Instruments: i’m the least musical person i’ve ever met
What I’m wearing: jeans and a t-shirt
Dream job: my existing one with more job security and autonomy, and fewer demands and expectations. my industry needs an overhaul
Dream trip: through southeast asia
Nationality: canadian but i don’t live in canadia-land any longer
Favorite songs: we’ve been over how bad i am at this favourites thing right? right. okay go listen to Clam Crab Cockle Cowrie by Joanna Newsom
Last book I read: A Deadly Education by Naomi Novik, because i decided i should probably read astolat’s original works and holy hell did i enjoy this book, can’t wait for the third in the series (holding off on reading the second so i can read all 3 when the last one is out)
3 fiction universes I’d live in: steven universe, dctv-verse (the flash, etc), uhhh... star wars?
tagging: okay 20 people is way too many and idk who all has done this and who’s currently active, but let’s see how many i can think of... @fandom-hoarder, @brotherwives, @trials-era-sam, @catboyjohnwinchester, @theangiediary, @redmyeyes, @hi-im-dazey, @peach-coke, @jaytwo, @ruinedsam, @themegalosaurus, @youchoseeachother, @brother-in-a-g-string @prince-of-elsinore
(no pressure if this isn’t your thing, and/or if you’re the type of person who likes being tagged in stuff like this don’t hesitate to drop a note here and i’ll try to remember you for next time)
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Bittersweet Bundle Of Misery - Graham Coxon
Plot: Reader is dating Alex James, and finds herself miserable, but finds comfort in a tumultuous affair with his friend, and guitarist, Graham Coxon.
I will probably do a part 2.
Word count: 5153!
Warnings: Drugs, Alcoholism, Smut, Angst, Smoking
April 1996
Alex loved France. Not only that, but the French loved him, specifically the women. I didn't need to understand his words to recognise the flirty tone in his voice when he spoke to the waitresses, the bar staff, in fact, basically any attractive woman who fluttered her eyelashes at him. I wasn't sure how to feel about it. Of course, I knew Alex well, so I was never under the impression that he would be a devout, faithful partner, but I also never expected him to be so explicit in his relationships with other women. We both considered the relationship open, but Alex was the only one who seemed to take advantage of that situation.
I found solace in hanging around with Graham. The tour was stressful. We both struggled. We all drank, but for Graham it was a necessity. I spent more time with Graham than with Alex, but of course he didn’t care. The words “jealous” and “possessive” were not in his vocabulary, but then again, neither was “monogamous”.
I was tired and miserable. The venues where the band played could be stubborn about sound-checking themselves. This resulted in a lot of arguments, as I was strictly instructed that the band were only to have their own sound technician (me). Alex and Damon could be rude. Since I’d been dating Alex, nobody took my work seriously. I stopped being a technician with almost seven years experience on tour, and became “Alex’s girlfriend helping out”. The crew could be horribly sexist at times. Even Ivan dismissed me when I brought him a problem.
“Get one of the other technicians to look at it,” he said, after I told him that one of the venue’s sound guys had wired the bass into a guitar amp and not the subwoofer. He must have turned up the volume to compensate for the sound and blown the speaker.
“I know what I’m doing! I’ve worked with this band for years!” I ended up snapping. I heard one of the roadies mumble something about a period and it sent me over the edge. Sometimes I got so angry it was like I didn’t have control over my impulses anymore. I told them all to fuck off and stormed out the room, kicking the door with a tremendous thud as I left. After I’d cooled down and returned, the crew tiptoed around me like I’d overreacted. After the gig, Ivan came over to speak to me.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to undermine you. You’re one of the best sound techs we’ve had,” he apologised, giving me a friendly pat on the shoulder. I appreciated the apology, it was the first one I’d had since the tour began.
Alex and I had an argument that night. We argued often, but this was explosive. He came into my room, coked up and horny, sitting next to me on the bed and pressing wet kisses to my neck.
“Are you over your little tantrum?” he asked, kneading my breast a little roughly. I pulled away.
“Little tantrum?” I repeated, surprised at his tactless words. “Everyone has been treating me like shit recently Alex.” He shrugged, running a hand up my thigh over my jeans, toying with my top button.
“Whatever it was. Ivan was trying to help and you just went mental,” he laughed, like it was all a big joke. He pressed his lips against mine and I pushed him away.
“It’s your fault I’ve been feeling like this!” I snapped. “If I didn’t start dating you then people would actually treat me like a professional! All of a sudden Damon is asking the drum tech to check the mic volume before they go on!”
“All of a sudden it’s my fault?” he asked, voice raising slightly. “Just cause you overreacted and bit Ivan’s head off?!”
“You don’t get it Alex! If you were ever actually here you’d understand how I was feeling, but you’re always off snorting lines and banging these fucking French girls!” I shouted at him.
“Well maybe I’d be here more if you actually put out instead of just going off at me!” he yelled back. I stood up, walking across the room with my hair clenched in my fists. I wanted as much distance between us as possible.
“Put out?” I looked at him incredulously. “So you’re only here if you can have sex with me? This relationship only exists so you can rely on me having sex with you whenever you fancy?!” We were both properly shouting now.
“That’s what relationships are! That’s what love is! The only difference between friends and relationships is sex!” he replied, seeing this as perfectly valid reasoning.
“So all I am is sex to you?” I asked, my voice now dangerously softer but still dripping with venom.
“No... That’s not- Stop twisting my fucking words!”
I calmly picked up my cigarette carton and lit one, letting his point ferment.
“Get out,” I spat. He glowered at me, standing up and leaving the room, slamming the hotel room door behind him.
As soon as he left the room, hot tears started spilling down my face, not tears of sadness but of rage. I felt overwhelmed. I smoked a cigarette, then another, the deep inhalation subduing my frustration. I heard a soft knock at the door.
“Piss off Alex!”
“It’s not Alex,” came Graham’s gentle reply. I stood and opened the door, wiping at my cheeks with the back of my hand.
“Gra,” I huffed in relief at his presence.
“I heard you were arguing, I wanted to see you were okay,” he said. It didn’t surprise me he’d heard it. Graham’s room was just across the hall, and we’d not been quiet. “Pub?” he offered, smiling slightly.
“Yeah alright, I’ll just grab my coat.”
We found a small bar not too far away from the hotel. Neither of us spoke particularly good French, but Graham knew enough to order some wine. The Parisians didn’t drink the same way the British did, and both of us were a little too embarrassed to try and order two pints of beer and a pack of cheese and onion crisps. Instead, we sat with a bottle of Sauvignon Blanc and two glasses, hidden away in a back booth and laughing at our clumsy attempts at the French language.
“It’s so embarrassing walking round with Mr Culture speaking fluent French like it’s the most natural thing in the world, meanwhile I struggle asking the man in the shop for a packet of fags,” I complained, chuckling.
“If you don’t mind me asking, what were you arguing about before?” Graham queried.
“Oh, just...” I paused, unsure whether to tell him or whether he’d just agree with Alex. “Well you know how I lost my temper before?” Graham nodded, sucking his lips into his mouth like he always did when he was listening. “Well he made a joke about it, and it pissed me off. I dunno, I feel so tired and miserable recently, and the way everyone has been treating me like I’m totally incompetent at my job is so difficult. Alex is never there, he just swans around doing whatever he wants, meanwhile I just feel so overwhelmed,” I spilled, not even intending to share that much. Something about the build up of emotions in my life and Graham’s reassuring presence at the end of the table made me feel the sudden need to tell him everything. “I just don’t feel happy anymore.”
“I know how you feel, kind of,” Graham reassured, placing his hand over mine, while I took a large swig of wine. Looking back, I think that was the first moment I thought about kissing him. Of course I didn’t, we stayed out most of the night and then stumbled back to the hotel drunk. But I actually considered that maybe I wouldn’t feel so bad if I was dating Graham, not Alex.
October 1996
I never expected the knock at the door. It was a cold night in mid October, so when I opened the door wearing only a large t-shirt and odd socks, the biting breeze nipped at my bare legs. Graham stood there awkwardly, wrapped up in a fleece lined jacket and his eyes slightly glazed in his drunkness. I didn't ask any questions, just greeted him with a hug that lasted a few seconds longer than usual, then invited him in.
Graham wasn't a happy man, but I myself was hardly a ray of sunshine. I sat down next to him on my old settee, lighting a cigarette and refilling my wine glass. I offered him a glass but he shook his head.
"What's up Gra?" I asked him softly, reaching out to cover his hand with my own. He let out a dejected sigh.
"I can't do it anymore (y/n)," he explained. "The band. I'm starting to hate them all. The press, the tours, the people. It's way too fucking much. Damon won't change the music we do, he's being a controlling bastard, and then Alex, fuck." Graham pulled at his earlobe, something I noticed him do often when he was feeling nervous or stressed.
"What is it?"
"He's out living his playboy lifestyle, shagging around, doing lines, drinking champagne. Meanwhile, you just sit around pretending like everything is fine!"
I dropped my hand from his. I wasn't ready for this criticism, especially not from a man who was currently drunk every second of his life.
"It is fine, Gra."
"No it's not, because he barely gives you a backwards glance when he goes out and I have to watch it," he complained. He turned to me, looking over my face like he was drinking it in. "I think you're so beautiful."
"What?"
"So, so fucking beautiful," he repeated. Graham was bad at eye contact, but right now he was drunk, and looking at me with such a sinful look in his gaze. He glanced over my lips, and the small flip in my stomach as he did was my only sign. There had been moments over the past year where Graham and I had shared similar glances, but neither of us acted on impulse, until now.
I leaned in and pressed my lips against his. Immediately his hands slipped around my waist, pulling me flush against his body. His tongue slipped into my mouth, and as he deepened the kiss I pushed his jacket off of his shoulders. He assisted my movements, pulling it off to fall lazily on the floor.
His hand travelled down to my underwear, tucking a finger beneath the waistband of my knickers, pausing to see if I stopped him. I did, but only to pull his t-shirt over his head. I had seen Graham without a shirt before, but now I took in his lithe physique and broad shoulders. He slipped his hand to my clit, rubbing it in slow circles. I gasped at his touch and he leant down to brush his lips against my ear.
“You turn me on so much,” he whispered honestly, slipping two fingers inside me and curling them up. I moaned into his neck, pressing a kiss against it. Alex never really bothered with foreplay so this felt like heaven. After a minute he pulled his fingers out to push me down against the sofa, as I pulled him into another hungry kiss. He pushed his hips against mine and I let out another soft moan while he smiled into the kiss. Soon the desperation over took us and I fumbled with his belt, helping him remove the rest of his clothes before he pulled my t-shirt over my head, drinking in my body.
For a second he tucked his hands into my hair, holding my face behind my ears and stroking me cheeks with his thumb, before kissing me playfully on the nose. He pushed himself inside me with a slight groan, watching my face as I let out a satisfied sigh. I felt so appreciated, the way he looked at me was so tender. Unlike my day to day misery with Alex, this felt so raw, so right. He cupped one of my breasts with his hand, kneading it gently as he softly kissed and nipped at my neck. I felt sweat beading along my thighs, pressed into his body as we lay on the sofa, fully naked with the exception of our socks. He picked up the pace, and I could tell he was trying to control his urge to finish as quickly as possible. He rubbed my clit with the rough pad of his thumb, causing me to let out an unexpectedly loud moan as I clenched around him and my body shook. This brought him over the edge and he finished inside of me with a string of swears. He looked at me slightly panicked.
“Are you on birth control?” he asked, and I laughed, nodding, still out of breath and thrumming from my orgasm. He rested his forehead against my own and we lay there for a moment, panting, letting it register what had just occurred. I didn’t feel guilty at all, although I could tell Graham did. Alex had said so many things to me now that I couldn’t feel regret for sleeping with his friend, not when the moment was so sweet. Then he seemed to be pulled back into reality.
“I’m sorry,” he apologised, standing up and looking for his boxers. “I didn’t mean to do that, it wasn’t the plan.” I furrowed my eyebrows slightly.
“The plan? What was the plan?” I asked.
“I was going to tell you I love you, but you weren’t supposed to... You were going to tell me to piss off and then I could lay it to rest. I’m sorry. I’m drunk.” He pulled his boxers up and started looking for his jeans, but I reached out for his hand, pulling him round to look at me. I was still naked, knees drawn up to my chest on the sofa. I saw his eyes soften, his behaviour calm.
“Gra, I don’t want you to go,” I pleaded, my voice coming out a lot quieter than i intended. Alex and I had had another argument, and I was already feeling so lost until Graham showed up.
He paused, looking at out two hands together. I held my breath, waiting for his response. I needed him to make the irresponsible decision. Eventually, he nodded, and I nipped to the bathroom to clean myself up. When I came back in, clean and wearing a t-shirt and knickers, Graham had settled on the settee with the telly on, he’d also pulled his t-shirt on. I came to sit next to him, and he rested his head on my chest slightly while I began to run my fingers through his hair and he hummed contentedly. The show was boring, a late night crime drama. Within a few minutes Graham was snoring softly on my chest. I sipped my wine and smiled to myself.
November 1996
“I love you.”
“I love you too.”
Graham rolled over with a groan of pleasure, panting with sweat on his brow. I turned on my side to face him and he pulled a stupid face, still lying on his back. I let out a sigh and turned over, away from him.
“Hey, what’s wrong?” he asked, concerned, moving closer and pressing a kiss onto my shoulder. One of his large hands rested on my waist and I suppressed the urge to sniffle.
“We don’t love each other though do we?” I said rhetorically.
“Why’d you say that?”
“Well, if we loved each other, then I’d leave Alex and you’d stop drinking so much.” I felt so bad saying it, but it was true. Even as Graham arrived in a better mood today, there was still an alcoholic taste on his tongue. We’d been seeing each other for over a month, and I knew I wasn’t breaking up with Alex any time soon.
“Maybe you’re right, but still, it feels nice to say, doesn’t it?” he pointed out, nuzzling his head into my neck as he ran his hand round to lay against my stomach, pulling my back closer to his chest.
Sometimes it felt like Alex must have known about me and Graham’s relationship, because he suddenly changed last month. Of course, we still argued. He still enjoyed champagne and cocaine and plenty of women, but god he was good at apologising. After arguments he’d always pull off the perfect apology. He’d me out to an expensive restaurant and completely overlook every gorgeous woman there. He’d make a point of telling the waitress that he must be the stupidest man on earth to have an argument with his ‘beautiful girlfriend’ and would try and show me off to every person in the room. Sometimes his apologies were less flashy, sometimes they came in the form of a home cooked croque monsieur in the morning, and kisses all over my face. Alex had the ability to make me feel both completely worthless and wonderfully special, but when he made me feel so special the guilt always tainted my mood.
In fact, it was at this moment a knock came at the door. I sat up in slight panic. Graham looked at me in confusion.
“It must be Alex,” I told him in a hushed voice.
“Shit.”
The knock came again. I pulled on a shirt from the cupboard, padding through my flat to the living room.
“Hey, (y/n). I know your home,” he said through the door.
“Can you come back later, Al?” I asked, doing up a couple of the buttons. “There’s someone here at the minute.”
“No, just open the door,” he persisted. I sighed, walking over and unlocking it. I stood there in a just the oversized shirt and some underwear I’d pulled on. My bedroom door was shut, Alex wouldn’t mind as long as he didn’t know who was in there.
“I’m in the middle of something,” I said slightly exasperated.
“Fucking hell, you look good,” he grinned, looking me up and down before pushing his way past to get into my flat.
“Hey, don’t come in!” I protested.
“It’s fine, love. I left my keys somewhere here, I just came to grab them,” Alex replied, going into the kitchen and picking them up off the side. He walked into the living, cheeky smile on his face. “Hey, can I say hello to whoever is in there?” he teased, stepping towards my bedroom door. I rushed forward, pushing him away while he teasingly stood his ground.
“No you cannot, it’s weird. If I come into yours while someone’s there you look like a philanderer, but when you come here guys think you’re my pimp or something,” I argued, managing to get him across the room toward the front door.
“Okay, fine,” Alex agreed, dropping his hands to around my waist. “Kiss goodbye?” he requested in a silly voice, tilting his head to the side. I rolled my eyes, but agreed. He pressed his lips to mine for a moment, dropping his hand to squeeze my arse jokingly, and I pulled away to give him a lighthearted smack on the arm and hurrying him out the flat.
When I walked back into my room, Graham was still nestled beneath the duvet, his head poking over the top.
January 1997
"You have to be joking, right?" came the surprised voice of Blur's bassist. Alex was stood in the doorway of a backroom at Groucho's. His pupils were like goddamn dinner plates, as per usual, but for once he was acting surprisingly sober for someone so off their tits. We'd been caught, and as Alex cast a disbelieving look between myself and his bandmate my heart dropped down into the bottom of my stomach.
I had been dating Alex James for just about two years, and had known him for four, and although our relationship wasn't defined as such, it was a rather open one. This, however, seemed to be a breach of our agreement. This wasn't a random person, or even a distant friend, this was Graham.
When Alex had walked in, he'd come across a scene that was a little bit more than over friendly. The guitarist had his hand underneath my skirt and was kissing my neck while we laughed drunkly. Of course, then came the interruption, and we had jumped apart at the arrival of my boyfriend. I sat awkwardly, chewing my lip, feeling like a naughty school kid. Nobody spoke. It was difficult to know what to say. There was no chance of convincing him it was less than he thought, I'm sure our guilty faces spoke volumes. After a pause that went on for way too long, I tried to speak up.
"Al-" I began to reason but my voice was cut of.
"No," he interjected. "I can't fucking believe it. You're my mate, Gra. You're in the band. Of course, the quiet, sweet one. Works for you doesn't it? 'Cause this whole time you've been fucking my girlfriend," Alex snapped. I saw Graham look down, his jaw clenched slightly. I wanted to reach for his hand but I knew it wasn't the time.
"Alex,” I warned but he scoffed at me.
"Piss off with that, (Y/N)," he scolded with an incredulous laugh. "Get your stuff from my place tomorrow, but don't come too early 'cause I'm bringing home that blonde girl from the bar tonight," he told me harshly, leaving the room, probably to go practice his lines in the bathroom.
I sat back down next to Graham, my frown mirroring his. I tipped my head onto his shoulder, and he pulled me into him with a comforting arm. It was difficult to pin down my feelings, although guilt was the presiding one. I felt especially guilty for not finding the ability to care that Alex had just split up with me. I felt tears prick my eyes, unable to stop myself from crying. Graham tilted his head to me, brushing the tears from underneath my eyes with his thumb, and pressing a kiss onto my forehead. I tried to pull him in for a kiss, to distract myself from my current feelings, but he turned his head away.
“Now’s not the time,” he told me gently.
February 1997
I didn’t expect to still accompany the boys on the American tour, in fact, I was aware Alex had greatly argued against it, but Ivan had insisted. I was under contract to the record label and familiar with the set up and how the band liked things. I rather have stayed in London to be honest.
Before we left, Blur released their self titled album, kicking it off with a 'secret' gig at the Astoria to a sold out crowd of two thousand people. The mood was so elevated, all tensions seemed to be erased. A huge after party went down. It was packed with Britpop royalty and went completely out of hand. That night I even stupidly assumed that things would go back to normal, water under the bridge.
I only listened to the album two days later. It was totally different to anything they'd done before. I recognised the influence of the underground bands Graham listened to, although the tone seemed slightly ironic. The album seemed fast paced, but then, halfway through the album came an unexpected softer number, Graham's soft voice coming into my living room through a layer of crackly voice effects. The first verse was despairing. I knew Graham was struggling with his alcohol, but I'd been doing so awfully myself that I didn't even realise how bad it had gotten. It was the chorus that really ruined me though; heartwrenchingly honest and bitterly optimistic. I didn't care if he'd written it about me or not, but that last line hit me somewhere deep in my heart and put tears in my eyes. By the time the song had ended I was a sniffling mess on my living room floor and brimming with such a strong sense of love.
We left to France two days later. The crew were acting strange with me. Everyone knew that I’d now slept with two members of the band, and there was lots of implication I was going to try a third. Damon was acting well off with me and usually I found myself sat with Graham receiving glares from both Damon and Alex. We had to go through Paris and then Tokyo before we arrived in the US at the beginning of March. Things were okay when we all got drunk enough, the boys tended to forget about my crimes against the band. We did sing alongs at our hotels. Alex got a bit arsey when Graham fell asleep with his head in my lap in Tokyo, but he’d happily bring girls to drink with us and happily snog them while I was sat there. I didn’t mind, the part of me that cared was so easy to shut off now.
I loved Japan, and the Japanese loved Blur. Damon was particularly popular with his blond hair, blue eyes and pretty face. The reception at the airport was always brilliant. There would always be a crowd of teenage girls desperate for a signature off their favourite band member, I think one of the Gallaghers already said it, but it was like a second wave Beatlemania. I usually sat back with Ivan, watching the boys deal with their fans, especially Graham. While Alex and Damon used a charming smile, Gra always seemed so unsure what he was doing was right. It was very endearing. I wanted to stay as far away from fame as possible.
Me and Alex’s breakup was extremely high profile. Of course, why we split up was a public mystery, only adding to interest levels. We kept our relationship fairly private, although I had experienced the odd incident with paparazzi, but the Blur management team saw great opportunity for promotion with our split. I was hounded by music journalists for weeks, and photos of me suddenly started appearing all over the gossip magazines. As much as I didn’t want to be stuck on tour with Alex, I had to say it was a relief to leave it behind.
Graham still came to my hotel room late at night, but for both of our sakes he left way before the sun rose. That part was the hardest, when he climbed out of bed to get dressed and leave. I’d watch him put on his clothes, peeking my head over the bedsheets and not speaking. He’d press a kiss to my forehead and tiptoe out the room, back to his own. Then I was alone. I think that fear of being alone was what kept me from ending things with Alex, because staring up at the ceiling after Graham left was the most saddening feeling in the world. I couldn’t say I love you to him anymore, even if I did. When I was still with Alex, it was just a phrase, but then it had become an empty promise. I was far too scared to bear my soul to him like that. I think it upset him slightly, when I wouldn’t say it back, but he never mentioned it.
It was moments like that, lying alone in bed and feeling totally isolated, with nothing but the rushing thoughts in my head, that I would have given anything for Alex to burst into my room and pick a fight with me again. Sometimes I wanted him to loose his temper, to see me across the room and to shout at me, to call me names. His willing acceptance of the situation hurt me most. His ability to move on like it was nothing.
March 1997
Things went downhill once we arrived in America. Everyone was jet lagged from the flight and we were mainly travelling around on a tour bus. Being in such close confines did have a habit of getting on everyone’s nerves. I was sharing a tour bus with some other sound technicians, which was a nightmare. I was the only woman on tour, and every morning I got up an hour before everyone else so I could get dressed without being stared at by a group of blokes. Unfortunately, I was also going to bed in the early hours of the morning anyway, so I was feeling twice as exhausted as usual.
Suddenly, Alex seemed a whole lot more pissed at me than before. Any time Graham and I were even in the same room, he would glare until one of us left. He couldn't help but leave snide comments.
The other issue with being on tour was privacy. I barely got a second alone with Graham. Damon had walked in on one of our few opportunities, while Graham had his head between my legs, and aside from it being very embarrassing, since the incident Damon had been twice as off with me as ever before. Eventually, Graham and I settled for cuddles and conversation, this seemed to cause the least tension.
One night in Detroit, we all went out to a bar. I found in America all anyone ever wanted to know was 'what you did'. Of course, this was in reference to career, but I'd recently found entertainment in replying "nothing much". I spoke to lots of American's, receiving regular compliments on my accent. We drank lots, Alex ended up taking a very attractive blonde girl to the tour bus, leaving the rest of us to continue our evening by drinking enough to knock out an elephant. At one point I wobbled outside for a cigarette and some fresh air.
I stood by the back door and the bins, inhaling the smoke and letting the cold sober me slightly. Then, a very drunk Damon stumbled out the pub, proceeding to bend over by the wall and vomit onto the floor and his trainers. I rushed over, putting a hand on his back and trying to shuffle his feet away to avoid where he was being sick. He finished throwing up and swatted me away.
"Piss off (y/n)," he slurred. "It's your fault it's like this." I stepped back, surprised at his words.
"What?"
"You cocked everything up!" he whined, leaning against the wall for support. "You broke Alex's heart, and now he's mad at Gra, and now Gra's in love with you and you're going to hurt him. Fucking hell, (y/n), look at him! Can't you see what it'd do to him!"
I couldn't help it. For what seemed like the millionth time in the past month, tears prickled my eyes. I never usually cried, but now all my emotions lay very close to the surface.
"I don't want to hurt Graham, Dames. I never wanted to ruin anything," I sniffled, taking a drag from my cigarette to try to calm my wavering voice. "I love Gra, I really do, it's just... complicated."
Damon's eyes softened slightly, and then he fell over into his own sick.
#graham coxon#graham coxon x reader#blur band#britpop#90s imagine#smut#blur#britpop imagine#alex james#alex james x reader#battle of britpop
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Playin' With Fire: Out Of The Ashes
Summary: Six months after the Colombia disaster, the guys and Dani try to get back to normal lives.
Warnings: Explicit language, survivor's guilt, talks about being dead, alcohol, ANGST (with a happy ending), nightmares, Tom. Please let me know if I missed a tag.
A/N: This story is near and dear to my heart. I've been putting off posting this Epilogue because I don't want it to officially be over. I hope you guys have enjoyed it as much as I have.
They had been home for six whole months. Dani and Santiago had moved into a house they bought together, trying to move on with their lives after the whole Colombia disaster. Dani could still hear Molly’s screams as they told her Tom wouldn’t be coming home. She could still see the life drain from his daughter’s face as Santiago apologized for everything.
Dani felt like she was going through the motions, living like a ghost in a life that no longer existed. She had to be strong though, for her boys, for Santi. They all came back more fucked up, more broken. She hadn’t even returned to the hospital, despite multiple calls from Meredith.
Will had gone back to giving his speeches, like nothing happened. He was the strongest of them all, Dani had noticed. Benny never left the gym, constantly training. When he did come home, he’d take a bottle of whatever liquor was available and hold himself up in his room until it was time to go back to the gym.
Frankie seemed more adjusted, which was surprising to her, but having Elena really helped. He spent all his time with her, he never gave the coke a second thought. As her god-parents, Dani and Santi had their spare bedroom set up for her. Dani would keep her while Frankie worked. Spending time with her was the only time Dani felt any sliver of happiness, the only time she really felt anything.
It was another night where Dani was sitting in the rocker in Ellie’s room, gently moving back and forth to soothe her to sleep. Just as she closed her chocolate brown eyes, Dani heard the front door open. She knew it was either Santi or Frankie.
“Bebita?” Frankie whispered. She let out a quiet “shhh” as she got up to place Ellie in her bed. “She’s asleep?” Dani could hear the disappointment in his voice. She tucked her in and turned to face him.
“I’m sorry, she just went down.” She apologized, as they walked back into the living room. Frankie sighed, and took a seat on the couch.
“I can’t thank you enough, Tequila.” Frankie yawned, stretching out his arms.
“You don’t have to thank me, Fish. I love that little booger.” She explained, as she took the seat next to him. He looked over at Dani with a soft smile on his face.
“Still, I owe you a lot. I have the next week off, something about chopper maintenance.” Frankie started, “why don’t we have a barbeque, like old times?” he offers. How could she say no to him? How could she turn down getting the gang back together?
Dani nodded, “That’d be nice. I’ll let Santi know, he should be home soon.” Just as she finished, Santiago opened the front door. Dani looked up but didn’t acknowledge him when he said hey. She stood up, turning back to Frankie, “Feel free to crash here, since she’s already asleep. I’m gonna go to bed.” She left the room without a single word to Santiago.
Frankie noticed the interaction immediately. “Everything okay?” He asked Santiago, as he took Dani’s place next to Frankie. Santi sighed, running his hands down his face.
“I don’t know, man. We were so happy, we bought the house, we talked about starting a family of our own. Lately though, she’s been pulling away, like she can’t stand to be around me.” Santiago sniffled. He knew that there would be repercussions to the heist. He knew that, but he thought they were strong enough to make it.
Frankie rubbed his friend's shoulder, trying to give him some form of support. “She’s probably just working through some things. Just be there for her.” Frankie advised Santiago. “Maybe we need a break. We came back and just dove back into life. A cookout, next week? I’ll provide all the food if we can have it here.” Frankie gave him a shit-eating grin. Santiago let out a sigh before nodding. Hopefully Frankie was right.
Saturday rolled around quickly. Frankie and Dani were in her kitchen preparing a feast to feed four grown men, her, and a baby. Santiago had gone out to the store to get more beer, while Will and Benny were in the backyard getting wood for a bonfire later.
It all seemed so trivial to her. Having a cookout, even though Tom was dead, even though she should be buried alongside him. What was the point to any of this?
“Tequila?” Frankie called her nickname. She “hmm’d” in response as she continued to chop vegetables. "Are you okay?” There was concern in his voice.
“Yeah. Why do you ask?” She countered, not looking up from the cutting board.
“Well if you Julienne those carrots anymore, it's going to be considered baby food.” He huffed a laugh. Dani dropped the knife, and it clattered to the counter top.
“I’m sorry, Fish. I just have a lot on my mind.” She signed, bringing her hands up to rub her temples. Frankie walked around her island to wrap his arms around her.
“You know I’m always here for you. That’s what best friends are for.” He reminded her with a kiss to the hair line. Before she could say anything else, the baby monitor erupted to life with cries from Ellie.
The rest of the evening went smoothly. Frankie cooked, Will and Ben made the bonfire, and Santi had come back with ingredients for s’mores. The sun had long since set, and moonlight shone across their back yard. Everyone was saying their goodbyes, and Santi snuck upstairs.
Frankie helped Dani clean up then he and Ellie said their own goodbyes. Dani marched upstairs, ready to yell at Santiago for skipping out on the clean up. She opened the door to their shared room, to find flower petals scattered across the floor. Santiago was by their window, illuminated by candle light, down on one knee.
Dani was speechless. This was the last thing she was expecting. Santi beckoned her over to where he was knelt. “Danika Kate Reid, you are the most beautiful, caring, fearless, woman I have ever had the pleasure of knowing, of loving. You make me happier than I have ever been, and I know that you are it for me. Will you marry me?” Santiago proposed, pouring his heart out to her.
“I can’t.” The words flew out of Dani’s mouth before she realized she said them. That didn’t make them any less true.
“What do you mean you can’t?” Santi yelled, as he stood from his kneeling position.
“I can’t love you like you love me. I’m not-” She screamed through her sobs, “I’m not worth it, Santi. I am too damaged, too fucked up. I can’t love you like you deserve.” She was broken, fucked up, damaged beyond repair. That didn’t stop Santiago from falling for her. It didn’t stop him from trying to repair the broken pieces.
Santiago moved toward her, hands coming up to wipe away the tears. “You are not broken. You are perfect. You’ve been through hell sweetheart, so have I. You think loving me is a walk in the park?” He looked into her eyes, “I drink too much, I can barely sleep at night. You think I don’t know that my nightmares keep you awake? I feel when you leave the bed.” The hurt in his eyes made her want to scream. The fresh tears threatening to spill made her feel like she was suffocating.
She ripped his hands from her face. “Stop. Stop.” She barked, hand grasping her chest. This was too much. “I can’t do this anymore, Santi. I can’t stay here and pretend everything is okay.” She took a few deep breaths. “I can’t pretend like I’m capable of being loved and loving as much in return.”
Santiago’s face dropped. He is sure he just felt his heart shatter into pieces. He ground his teeth, sucking in a sharp breath, nostrils flaring as he exhaled. How did he show her, prove to her that she deserved him, his love? “I won’t stop.” He whispered, looking her dead in the eyes. “I won’t ever stop loving you. You are it for me. If they aren��t you, then I don’t want them. I will love you until my dying breath, and fuck, into the afterlife.” He moved so he was close to her again. “It will always be you."
She wanted to kiss him, tell him what he wanted to hear. She couldn’t, because it wasn’t okay. She wasn’t okay. After everything she has been through, after everything he had put her through, there isn’t enough of her to put back together. “It can’t be me. I am a shell of the person I used to be. I’m not her. I am not the woman you fell in love with.” She choked on her tears, “I’m not the woman who fell in love with you.” She turned away from him, picking up the packed duffle she already had by their door, slinging it over her shoulder. She spared him one last glance before walking out the door of their house and possibly out of his life.
She found herself outside of Frankie's apartment, somewhere she had been a hundred times over. Her phone rang; Santiago's name was written on the screen. She sent him to voicemail.
It was close to midnight. She knew Ellie would be sound asleep. She walked up to the door anyway. It was open before she could even knock. "Thank fucking Christ." Frankie mumbled, pulling her inside. "Pope has been blowing my phone up looking for you."
Frankie wrapped his arms around her as she sobbed into his chest. “He proposed, Frankie.” He just held her tighter. “He proposed and I said no.” She cried, letting out everything she had been holding in since the mission. She tried to stay strong, she tried to keep herself together, for Santiago, for Ben and Will, for Frankie.
Frankie walked them over to his couch, letting her go to sit her down. “Let me get you some tissues, querida.” he walked into his kitchen, grabbing the box and his phone.he shot Santiago a quick text letting him know she was safe with him. He replied instantly saying he was on his way.
He returned to her, handing her the tissues. "Thanks, Fish." She sniffled, before sobs took over again.
Frankie held her close, letting her break down. "Go ahead, Teq. Let it out. You have been so strong for us." Frankie tried to soothe her with his words.
Dani's head fell into his lap, as he played with her hair, her sobs slowing. Her breathing evened out, soft snores fell from her lips. Frankie slipped out from under her.
He watched her as she slept, peace falling over her features. A knock at his door drew his gaze away. Santiago let himself in as he always did. "Fish, thank you." He was relieved at the sight of her on the couch.
"She needs help, Pope. She's been holding this shit in, being strong for us. It's time to be strong for her." Frankie told his friend, whose eyes never left his sleeping girlfriend.
"I don't know how to help her." His voice broke, just like his heart. How could he not see that she was falling apart trying to hold everyone else together? He thought that a fucking ring could fix her shattering composure.
“Like I told you before, be there for her. Let her talk about it. We are the only people who will understand.” Santiago nodded at Frankie’s words. He could do that. “Let her sleep, I’ll clear off the guest bed, so you can move her.”
Santiago thanked his friend, scooping the love of his life up in his arms. It still blew his mind that he could hold his whole world in his hands. He carried her down Frankie’s hall, to the bedroom. He laid her on the bed and she stirred awake.
“Santi?” She said sleepily. He smiled lightly at her. She sat up, realizing she wasn’t dreaming. “Santi, baby. I’m so sorry.” She started to cry, as she threw herself into him. She needed to feel him against her. He held her close as she cried, whispering reassuring words to her.
“I’m here, baby, I’m here. I won’t leave you, I never could.” He held her tighter, needing her to know he meant it. “When you are ready, you talk to me. No rush, no judgement. I want to help you the best I can.” She smiled through her tears at him, pulling back to place a kiss to his lips. Their first kiss in weeks. The raw emotion they both could feel through one simple kiss, the promise that they could survive anything as long as they were together.
Breaking the kiss, he laid her back into the bed. “Come on, princesa. Let’s get some sleep. It’s late. And I haven’t held you in weeks.” Santiago coaxed her under the blankets, holding her tightly to his body. There was no way he was letting her go. Not now, not ever.
A few weeks later, Dani found herself in their living room with Santiago, ready to talk. She was ready to get this all off of her chest, and out in the open. She knew it wouldn’t bring back Tom, but it would bring her back to Santi.
They were sitting on the couch, it was a rainy Sunday morning. She still hated the rain, but something about this day made talking to him a lot easier.
“Santi,” She started, sitting her coffee cup on the table and pausing the B-rated comedy movie they were watching on Netflix. He did the same with his cup, turning to give her his undivided attention. “I’m ready. To talk about Colombia.” He sat up straighter, taking her hands in his, nodding.
“Okay, baby. I’m here for you.” Was all he told her before giving her the room.
Dani took a deep breath, centering herself before starting. “I have nightmares. Almost every night, and they all have to do with Tom. Most of them are him telling me that I should be dead and that he should be with his family.” She paused, letting out a shaky breath. “Others I’m back on that mountain top and you don’t save me. I can’t help but feel responsible for his death. I should have warned him sooner, I should have taken a shot. I was too slow, drawing my gun. I- I- I” She released a sob. Saying all of this outloud was harder than she thought it would be, but he needed to know. Santiago needed to know what she had been living with for the last six months. He went to pull her into a hug, but she stopped him. “There’s more. I should be dead. I shouldn’t be here. I was shot, we were in a helicopter crash. Tom, he- He was shot point blank right in front of me.”
She stopped again, taking slow breaths. The tears stung her eyes, as she looked at Santi. “I- I should be dead. I should be dead.” He didn’t let her push him away this time. He pulled her tightly into his embrace, “I should be dead.” She whimpered into his chest.
Santiago shook his head violently. “No. No. NO. Baby don’t you say that. You are exactly where you are supposed to be.” He pulled her away from his chest so he could see her face. “Dani, I would save you a hundred times over, even if that meant losing Tom.” Tears rolled off his cheeks, falling onto their laps. He leaned in to kiss her, almosting sobbing into her mouth. If she thought she should be dead, he would spend every day of the rest of his life, showing her why she deserved to live.
His words were so sincere, so full of emotion. Dani knew that Santiago meant every single word. Their lips parted, and Dani wipes his tears away. “Yes.” She said, and he looked confused. “I want to marry you. Yes.” She said again, and his eyes widened. He pulled her close, wrapping his arms tightly around her. He peppered her hair with kisses.
“Are you serious?” He asked in disbelief. Dani nodded. “I’ll be right back.” Santi jumped up, and scurried through the house. He came back as fast as he had left, with a little black box in his hand. He returned to his seat, taking her left hand in his. Opening the box, he revealed a simple princess cut diamond, set in a plain silver band. “Say it again.” He requested.
“Santiago Isaac Garcia, yes, I will marry.” She sniffled with a smile. He pulled out the ring, and slid it onto her left ring finger. “It’s a perfect fit.” She said, before caressing his face and slotting her lips against his.
The wedding came and went. It was a small ceremony. Will and Benny walked her down the aisle, and Meredith stood beside Dani as her maid of honor. Frankie, of course, was Santi’s best man, while little Ellie was their flower girl. They spent their honeymoon out in the country. Neither of them wanted to see a beach or mountain ridge. It was a week of pure bliss in the middle of nowhere Georgia.
When they returned home, Dani went back to work at the hospital, and Santi was offered a job with Will. As a retired Lieutenant, they wanted him to train newly promoted soldiers. Santi didn’t think he would be a good teacher, but with a little convincing from Dani, he accepted. Their lives were slowly falling back into place.
They settled into a routine over the next month or so. Dani had started feeling bad, getting dizzy and lightheaded. Meredith knew immediately, but Dani requested a test. Using her Chief status, Meredith got her results back quickly.
Dani sat patiently on the exam table, waiting for her boss to come back in. Meredith all but ran in, screaming “You’re pregnant!”. She hugged Dani tightly, “Do you want an Ultrasound?” She asked giddily. Dani nodded, still in disbelief that she was pregnant.
Meredith pulled in the machine, telling Dani to lie back. The gel was cold, just as she was warned. “Depending on how far along you are, I might not get a visual. But I will try.” She said as she used the wand to push the gel around. She paused once she found what she was looking for. “Look! There is your little bean.” Excitement thick in her voice.
Dani looked, and there it was on the screen. She was pregnant. She was a mom, Santi was a dad. “Oh my god. Mere, I, I have to go.” She stuttered. Meredith nodded, quickly printing the images for her to take home. Dani wiped the gel away and hopped off the bed. The two of them exchanged another hug. Dani thanked her for everything before running out.
Her first stop was a craft store to get supplies. Once she was home, she got to work. She wanted to surprise Santi. She laid the sonogram photos on the table, while she wrote on the poster board. She couldn’t wait for him to get home.
She was almost done when she heard keys jingle outside of their door. Santiago wasn’t due home for another hour. When the door opened, it revealed Frankie and Ellie. “Fish!” She yelled, startling him.
“Shit, Dani. You scared me.” Frankie said, clutching his chest. “What are you doing here?” He asked.
“This is my house, Frank.” She answered, looking down at her art. Frankie’s eyes followed, seeing the words, then to the table where the images sat.
“You’re pregnant?!” He exclaimed, sitting Ellie on the floor by her toys. Dani nodded. Frankie scooped her up, hugging her tightly. “I’m so happy for you! Have you told Pope yet? No, of course not. The poster. Shit, I guess you can’t watch Ellie tonight.” Frankie was going a mile a minute.
“Fish, Fish. Breathe. I’m sorry but we can’t watch her. But I’d love it if you stayed and helped me.” She said with a smile, showing him the finished announcement.
6PM on the dot, Santiago strolled through the door. All the lights were off, which was odd, because he noticed Dani’s car and Frankie’s truck outside. “Querida? Fish?” He called out. There was no answer, but he heard Ellie’s giggles coming from her room. He forgot they were supposed to watch her tonight. He walked down the hall, and stood outside the door. He could hear you shushing. He pushed open the door. The sight in front of him made him fall to his knees. Dani was sat there next to Frankie, both of them helping Ellie hold a sign that said: Uncle Santi has been promoted to daddy in big bold letters with the sonogram underneath.
Alexander Thomas Garcia was born on August 17th at 2:17am.
@mylifeisactuallyamess @itspdameronthings
@221bshrlocked @danniburgh @speakerfor
#santiago garcia smut#santiago garcia x ofc#santiagoe garcia fic#santiago garcia#triple frontier fic#triple frontier#oscar isaac#kat writes#playin with fire#PWF
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weapon? monster? child.
this was a request from ao3 for some roman jason! i hope y'all enjoy
CW: vague manipulation themes
[images have alt text]


Even wolves bow to the law.
Jason Grace wakes up with his alarm. 7:00 a.m., it blinks at him. The first thing he feels is the cool breeze that blows in from the river bordering their camp, and through the window near his bed. They put him here so he’d be the first point of protection should anything from outside try to attack. He took the position gratefully. Lowered his head in thanks and packed up the little he had. From the big warm rooms of the main house where the youngest of them slept, to the straight and narrow dormitories of their assigned cohorts.
His blue eyes, dull and wide, blink as he stares at the roof. He’s one of the luckier ones. He has a whole bunk to himself. People are scared to sleep next to him, or near him. This son of Jupiter, this child of Lupa, this being of Power. What if they shake the bunk in the night and he tears them apart with his father’s lightning.
Jason would never. He is trained better than that. He will have control of his emotions. If he doesn't, innocent people will die. He knows this. A cub got hurt once. He wasn’t allowed to eat for a week. At least not with the pack. He was too young to get food on his own. He must learn the ways of the wolves, for they are the way of the world, and the bearers of the law.
Even wolves bow to the law.
He swings his legs over the bed, and jumps down. His landing is silent. The floorboards do not even creak. They are cold though, but he is used to this. It is the second thing that wakes him up.
The routine goes like this: alarm>roof>floorboards>cold water>clothes> weapon check>breakfast>camp activities.
Everyday. Every Single Day. Always the same thing, never a deviation, never an interruption. We must be organized beings Jason , he hears Lupa in his head over and over again, f or if we are chaos we must expect to be destroyed. Chaos must not exist outside of it’s containment. That was the final lesson. Chaos doesn’t follow rules therefore it should not exist.
Jason splashes cool water on his face, stares at himself in the scratched mirror. Too many demigods looking through the same glass. He wonders if any of them want to see something different? He does. Gods he does, desperately and ungratefully.
He wants to see how blue his eyes can get. And if his hair can be messier than this buzzed golden blonde look. If his hands can be softer than the callouses he always sports. And if his skin can be more golden. Would he look more alive?
He goes to breakfast. They're serving an array of things. Jason gets oats with too much honey. He sits at the edge of a table, nearest to the exit. Some people come to sit at the same table, but they keep a distance that moving closer would not bridge. Their laughter is his curiosity, their questions are his silent answers. He agrees that Silene from cohort three should go with the blue hair ties because it matches her socks. He decides diet coke is the best of the diet cola series. He frowns when Lucian from cohort two shows off their new throwing dagger at the table.
No weapons where you eat. Lupa frowns when he brings a whittled stick to their meal. Why? Because eating is a time of truce and peace. If I bared my fangs at you while you ate how would you feel? And his little eyes had grown wide as saucers, tears filling faster than he could stop them. Yes Lupa , he had mumbled, throwing his tiny spear away. He had just wanted to show her what he could do. He would never use it on them. That was the first of many things he had made and lost. Hard labour is only accepted when it benefits someone else. Another lesson learned.
Even wolves bow to the law.
The sword slips from his grip. Before it hits the floor his other hand is grabbing it. With a low growl he starts again. Twirl, strike, counter, direction, twirl, sidestep. He gets it this time. He allows a small smile. If there was a mirror he would have seen his eyes shine a little brighter.
“Jason!” Someone calls his name from outside. He nearly flinches. With a toss of his sword it pockets as a coin and then he’s jogging towards the door.
“Hey,” He squints the sun out of his eyes, searching for his summouner against the bright morning.
Reyna, a new camper, still young but full of anger, stands in front of him. Her legs are shoulder width apart, hands on her hips. Her tattoo is so pitch black against her brown skin. A single stripe mars her arm. He wonders if her collection of lines will someday rival his. The frown creasing her dark eyebrows is securely in place.
“What’s wrong?”
“They said you have to train me today.”
“Why me?” He frowns, looking around her for older campers. It is not traditional for campers as young as him to be training new recruits. Even if he has been here longer than most demigods. Still the older ones are given duties and responsibilities like this. There is a hierarchy and it starts with the time of your birth.
“Will you teach me?” The demand sort of irks him but only because he has never been asked to do something like this and now it is just being thrown at him with no warning, or training.
He tries not to let it show on his face. He must do a good job because her own fierce expression doesn’t change, react to him. She simply stares.
“Yes,” He motions for her to follow him back into the training center. “I will teach you.”
“What do we start with?” Her excitement is starting to wage war with her anger. They are still little kids after all.
“We start with body training.” He looks her over, assessing the thinness of her arms, the way her legs sway even when she tries to stand still. As if she had been on a ship for too long and her body no longer knows what solid ground feels like.
“What?” She’s back to frowning, glaring at him. “I want to learn how to use weapons. I want to fight.”
“The first weapon is your body.” He says, moving to the center of the room where a large training mat is spread across the floor.
“No, the first weapon is the one I can get my hands on.”
“How will you use a weapon if you can’t even hold it?” He doesn't understand why she won’t follow the order of things. Train your body>wield the weapon>fight the war. That’s how it is. That’s the order.
“My mother is Bellona!” She growls. “I already know how to fight.”
He stands in front of her, considering. They are about the same height, definitely the same age, though his weight is solid, whereas she looks like she’s been eating nothing but berries and cold meats for weeks. No sustenance.
“Okay Reyna,” He raises a brow. Something thrums under his skin, increases his heart rate. He believes it’s excitement. Are his eyes glowing? “If you can lay me down in two minutes, we’ll start on weapons training right away.”
The gleam that enters her gaze, brown eyes brightening like headlights, almost makes him laugh. “Fine.” She gives him a single nod.
And then she’s sprinting towards him, teeth bared, hands clawed in front of her. She fights like it's survival. He knows something of that. He steps out of the way. Her frustration is a spark. And she is dynamite. He is there to watch the world blow up. His eyes are lightning blue.
Wolves may bow to the law. But they hunt the chaos.
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Mr. Sandman pt. 2 (Miss Venable x reader)
After one month I finally finished the second pt, whooho :) Well i guess its a bit different, than the first chapter, but i hope yall like it- I can imagine making a third pt of this, but it would be much more fucked up and weird, than this chapter..lol I wanted to say thank you for your nice comments under the first chapter, they made me really happy :3
summary: three weeks have passed and you are trying to understand everything
warnings: depression (idk if a robot can have depression-), uhm bruises,..
And if ur name is Laura, don't hate me! yikes hahah
here is the first pt. :
https://littlejeaniehugsbumblebees.tumblr.com/post/639876084639334400/mr-sandman-ms-venable-x-reader
hello google translate:3
Mr. Sandman, bring me a dream Make her the cutest that I've ever seen Give her two lips like roses and clover And tell her that her lonely nights are over
It had been 3 weeks since the thing with the letter. 3 fucking weeks since you found out you were nothing more than a programmed machine.
And everything had gotten weird.
Ordinarily, you might call your behavior depression, but you were a goddamn robot and couldn't actually feel anything.
Sometimes you would spend hours in front of the mirror looking at your strange body. No.. to look at her body. You were just an image of her and your body was just a thing made of metal, tied through with cables and covered with a skin-colored rubber.
It all made no sense, all your memories of your family, your friends and your meeting with Mina (your first meeting in your bookstore, your first date, the first kiss, ..) all of this had to be real. But as Mutt had explained to you, your brain was just a hard drive with a stored script in which Mina had invested a lot of time to make your "memories" as detailed as possible. After all, she wanted you to be perfect.
To be honest, you had no idea how to act towards Mina. She was right somewhere, without her, you wouldn't exist. Maybe you should be grateful or happy that she created you. And on top of that, you really thought you loved her, needed her, or wanted her. But inside you knew that you only did all of these things because she programmed you to do so. Nothing you ever did was really your own excuse. You were just what she wanted you to be and in addition to that, you weren't even unique anymore. Mina had just copied you and used you for her own purposes.
Inwardly, you tried to fight the urge to kiss her, sit on her lap, or even smile at her, simply because you knew it wasn't what you wanted, but what she wanted. She wanted you to kiss her, wanted you to sit on her lap and wanted you to smile at her.
And all these feelings that cooked in you at the same time, the forced love for Mina and at the same time the hate because she was so selfish, let you get tired and pulled you down into a deep hole.
But you were a robot, you couldn't feel anything.
------------------------
"You should fucking stop coking while you're working on her", hissed Mina, staring into the stupid faces of Jeff and Mutt.
"She should be perfect, do you understand that?"
"Calm down", Mutt mutturd, raising both hands as Jeff swept the rest of the cocaine off the table. The fine powder fell like snow on the floor and the fact that these drugs were now on the white floor made Mina even more angry.
"We're the best at this and we know that if she doesn't turn out perfect, you'll probably kill us," Jeff explained with a smug grin on his ugly face.
"It's better for you if you know," Mina growled, pinching the bridge of her nose.
"How far are you?"
"So," Jeff got up bored to go to his project.
"All we have to do is insert her face and load your script from her hard drive and then we're done."
Mina's gaze wandered to the 3D printer Jeff was pointing to. Inside was the mask of a face ... your face. It was her eyes staring at some point, the same blush of her cheeks on yours, as was the gentle curve of your lips as hers.
"May I ..?" Mina asked and held out her hand for the mask. Jeff shrugged.
"Do what you want, but then bring the mask with you to her body, then we can finish it off."
The man turned to go to the computer next to the body on the table.
"Meanwhile I'll be loading your script on her hard drive", he called afterwards, but Miss Venable no longer listened to him. Her attention was fully focused on the mask, which she had carefully removed from the printer.
The face looked almost dead in her hands as not a single facial muscle was tense and yet Miss Venable could already tell that you were exactly as she had imagined. Just like she remembered Y / N.
Miss Venable stepped away from the 3D printer to walk past Jeff to your body.
She took off her leather gloves before running her fingers over the exposed skin of your arm. It was fascinating how much the rubber felt like real skin. It wasn't the first time, that she saw the result of your body, but it always fascinated her.
Her gaze wandered to your head and she was startled, when she saw directly in your head on the hard drive, that was connected to Jeff's computer by a black cable.
"And she won't ask any questions?" She asked, turning to Jeff.
"Nope," said Mutt, who stood with his arms folded next to his colleague to stare at the computer.
"I took the liberty of reading your script and apart from all the crazy sex you wrote down there, it seems to be very verbose."
Mina's eyes narrowed at Mutt's words and she bit the inside of her cheek to swallow all the insults that came into her mind. This script had been private.
On the other hand, she was tired of waiting for you and just wanted it to be over as soon as possible and that she could finally have you after waiting so many years.
"Okay, this is what we got," Jeff began as he got up from the computer and walked over to your body to pull the cable out of your head.
"Y / N will think, she was here to pick you up from work and then she would have passed out for whatever reason. So she won't wonder why she is here. Well, you know, she thinks that you've been together for a few years, so you have to play along right away. "
"I've spent so many years preparing for this moment," Mina hissed as she watched Jeff insert the face into your body.
And she was right, for years she had lived in her house like a second person was living with her. She had bought Y / N's size clothes, her make-up, her perfume, the books she liked ... Someone would have called it madness, but to her it was confidence. Just because she knew she'd have you one day. And today she could finally take you home with her.
"We're ready," Jeff said, turning to Mutt.
"You can power her up."
"Wait," Mina interrupted while she stared down into your blank face. Your eyes were closed and now it almost looked like you were sleeping.
"I want to be alone with her, when she wakes up."
"B-but what if something doesn't work?"
"It will work."
"Your decision", Jeff mumbled and went to Mutt to leave the room with him.
"Oh and Miss Venable, you know, that telling her about your her identity wouldn't be the best idea."
"She will never know, I'll make sure", Mina replied and went to the computer to switch you on. As quickly as she could, she came back to the table you were lying on, staring expectantly into your face.
And then you came to life.
First your eyes opened and Mina saw you blink a few times confused at the bright ceiling lamp.
"What's up, honey?" You asked her with a frown, but Mina couldn't answer. You looked so damn real, just like her.
"Are you okay?", You grinned crookedly while you sat up.
Your smile, the slightly curved eyebrows and your lively eyes, it was perfect.
"I- I am just happy that you're awake again," Mina finally managed to stutter.
"Naww you were worried about me? You're cute," you muttered, reaching for her hands.
"Can we go home now?"
Mina nodded slowly while she stared into the loving glitter eyes.
You were perfect
Wilhemina opened her eyes. The image of your sparkling eyes was still buzzing around in her head while she stared at the ceiling of your bedroom. Damn it, how many weeks had you not looked at her like that?
Miss Venable was usually not one to wake up at night, but since you knew what you really were, she slept badly and at night dreamed of the time when you didn't know and you were both happy. In addition, the weight of your head was missing on her chest..Your arm wrapped around her waist and the locks of hair that usually tickled her face.
It was almost impossible to sleep like this. She just needed to feel like you belonged to her. How many times had Miss Venable dreamed of Y/N in Jonathan's arms one night and then woke up only to see, that you were as close to her as you could possibly be?
And since you knew it, you just lay next to her in bed, curled up in yourself and felt worlds away from Mina. She was sure you were toying with the idea of sleeping in the guest room. But you could never do that, because that's how she programmed you. You wanted to be with her.
Mina turned her head to the side to see you. You lay on your back next to her and stared out the window with glassy eyes. Lost, thought Miss Venable.
"Why are you awake?" She asked softly and grabbed your hand, which was on your chest.
"I can't sleep"you replied dryly without looking at her.
I don't need to sleep, I'm a fucking robot Wilhemina.
"Do you want to read? Uhm- We haven't read together in ages," she asked and began to run her thumb over the back of your hand.
You just shook your head before turning to her and looking at her with such a pain in your eyes, that she wanted to cry.
"I'm not real, Mina," you said in a thick voice as tears came out of your eyes. You reached your other hand to your face to wipe away the tears.
"These tears are not real."
"That is not true." Mina whispered and took your other hand as well.
"You are here and you are real."
"I'm not even alive. I'm just a dead thing made of cables, I live as much as your computer does."
"Don't say something like that.", Mina mumbled reaching behind her to turn on the bedside lamp. She actually wanted to say something, but when she turned back to you, her eyes fell on the small bruises on your arm.
"What the hell, Y / N", she scolded in horror and ran her fingers over the dark spots.
"Oh, it's not that bad," you said quickly as you pulled your arm away.
"It's actually quite interesting, you know, when we were in the office to fix my hand, Mutt explained to me that I have certain sensors under this rubber layer, that make me think I'm feeling pain. And how my skin changes color when I injure myself..you know, its really cool"
Mina looked at you disturbed, while you explained to her factually how interesting you found that.
"Mutt sent me the plans for my body too," you continued, staring thoughtfully at your forearm.
"It's so fascinating to see how my body digests food or how my emotions work."
"Why are you in contact with this idiot?", Mina frowned.
"Because I wanted to know how I work..I also noticed that I can't get any older and it's kind of funny."
"Funny", Mina repeated, planning a thousand ways in her head, how she would kill Mutt.
----------------
"You fucking idiot," she hissed the next day as she hobbled into Jeff and Mutt's office.
"How dare you even think you have the right to clear Y / N?"
"I thought, it would be good, after she found out everything," Mutt muttered without looking up from his computer.
"Oh yeah?", Mina's eyes sparkled with anger.
"And I thought, we said, it would be best if she didn't know."
"I understand why he gave her the plans," Jeff interjected.
"Who the hell asked you ??", Mina spat and Jeff shrugged.
"I'm just saying, that I think it's better for her. You want her to be happy and I think that's only possible, if she knows who she is."
"Oh no," Mina shook her head. "I want her to be like Y / N again and unfortunately that won't work if you explain how her robot body works. You could have sent her the script right away."
"Who knows, maybe I'll do that too," Mutt mumbled and looked enviously at Jeff, who was already coking again. "She deserves to know everything."
"You won't do anything like that," Mina growled dangerously.
"You both still work for me and what I do with my girlfriend is my decision".
With that she turned to walk out of the office and eventually out of the building. She just wanted to go home, but at the same time she knew that you and not Y / N would be waiting for her there.
"I'm home princess", she called out loud as she always did when she came home and like the weeks before she got no answer from you. Mina sighed as she hung her jacket on the stand. She hobbled into the bedroom and saw you the night before, just lying there and staring out the window. You hadn't gone to work in the past few weeks, it felt kind of pointless.
"How was your day, princess?" Asked your girlfriend, who was lost in the doorway and tried to get you to talk somehow.
"Good," you said curtly. "You didn't want to tell me how long I've been around, but I think I figured it out today."
Mina's breath caught.
"Did Mutt tell you that too?"
"Nope," you mumbled. "It was me alone. Well, I noticed that based on what I thought I knew, we've been living together for 4 years, but there are only pictures of the last two years, so I think, I'm 2 years old. Somehow that sounds funny, doesn't it? You're dating a two year old. "
For a few seconds, Mina just stared at you. You were right, you were two years old.
"When will you finally get back to normal," she finally mumbled and stepped outthe door frame to sit on the bed. You snorted in annoyance and shook your head as you sat up.
"Define normal, Mina."
"When will you talk to me again? When will you kiss me again? Will you sit on my lap or at least smile at me?" She screamed, making you wince at her volume.
"You treat me like I did something wrong."
"Sorry, but do you find it normal to live with someone, who is actually dead and looks like your 'big love'?" You yelled back.
"It was normal until you knew it and now you pretend there was something wrong with it," Mina stared at you in disbelief, as if she didn't understand how fucked up these facts actually were.
"You could at least have made me unique with a will of my own .. I could have loved you anyway and if I had decided it myself, that's actually how it works," you spat as you leaned against the headboard.
"Then you wouldn't have been like her," Mina replied dryly and you just rolled your eyes.
"So what?".
"So what ?!", Mina repeated angrily.
"Maybe because the only person I love is her and not you?"
Your eyes widened at her words.
"You- you are insane, Mina," you stuttered and got up to walk out of the room. And you would have loved to leave, but you were a human boomerang, no matter how far away you went, you would keep coming back to her. Because that's how she programmed you.
----------------------
A few days went by and you thought a lot about the fact, that she had told you in the face, that she didn't love you but this woman. And you started to hate it all. You hated Mina for her incredible selfishness. You hated yourself for being completely at the mercy of her because she programmed you that way and you hated Y / N (although you were actually Y / N, only in lesbian and metal) because Mina loved her and not you.
You knew, that Mina regretted telling you that, at least she tried to apologize to you later, but you ignored her.
In your eyes, what Mina felt was no longer love, but madness. And if you hadn't hated Y / N, you would probably have prayed for her, that Mina wouldn't have the idea of kidnapping her. Probably the next step on the insane scale. First Y / N had decided on Jonathan and then the stupid robot broke, so Mina was only left with kidnapping as a way out.
You really did your best to understand her behavior, but you just couldn't. Okay, well ... you were just a stupid robot and you only knew empathy from Mina's script.
"Well," you began when you came into her working space on Wednesday afternoon and sat across from her at the desk.
"I've thought of something."
That was the first time in days that you spoke to her without being asked.
You had actually decided to ignore her, until it was enough for her and she decided to leave you. However, the human part of you (Mina's ugly script) thought it would be fair to at least give her the opportunity to explain to you why she was the way she was.
Mina looked up from her laptop and smiled gently at you.
"Anything you want, princess".
You could hear the relief in her voice and you knew she was probably glad you spoke to her again.
And to be honest, you liked that situation. The fact, that she was so eager to talk to you again gave you an incredible feeling of power.
Usually you played by her rules and now you had the reins in hand.
You crossed your arms over your chest and looked at her for a few seconds with narrowed eyes. Despair literally glittered in her eyes and you couldn't help but enjoy this moment.
"I want to get to know Y / N", you finally said and watched as her brown eyes widened.
"You can't be serious," she whispered in disbelief.
"I am absolutely serious."
You shrugged your shoulders.
"You want me to get 'normal' again, but for that to happen, I have to understand you first, and here we are."
"But- ..", Mina started and then broke off herself. This stunned look sparked another war in you.
One side wanted to love her and tell her the idea was stupid, while the other side of you hated her profoundly.
"I hope you are aware, that this is not possible," she said quietly.
"And why not? Because then she finds out that you are a psychopath? This is your problem and not mine."
"Y / N, I can't do this," she mumbled, always seeing youstill horrified.
"I can dress up or something," you replied and immediately hated yourself for your willingness to compromise.
Mina shook her head.
"That's impossible Y / N ... your voice even sounds like hers."
"Nobody pays attention to the voice."
"Jonathan would notice," Mina said, pressing her lips together.
"Jonathan?" You repeated, confused, and raised an eyebrow.
"Her Husband," she mumbled softly.
"And why should your husband come with her, when I just want to see her?"
"He does not like me."
"And why should you come with me, when I want to see her?"
"Oh Y / N, come on", Mina rolled her eyes. "Do you really think, I'm so stupid and leave you alone with her? No way."
You snorted in annoyance and shook your head as you stood up.
"It was clear that you wanted to be in control of that too," you muttered, turning to walk out of the room.
"I'll leave the decision to you, Mina, but don't expect me to come back to you if you don't even give me the opportunity to understand you."
----------------------
And Mina actually didn't seem to have given up hope, when she told you on the same day, ,that she would agree to your request.
It was maybe a bit ridiculous to dress up because of the whole thing, but otherwise Mina would not have agreed and you also wanted to spare Y / N, what had happened to you the last few weeks. By being basically Y / N, you knew exactly what it would feel like for her to find out the truth about you.
"So .. what do you think?" You asked when you walked into the hallway to Mina, who was already waiting.
Mina looked you up and down critically.
You had to do your best not to look like yourself, or rather not to look like her.
Dyed hair, different make-up, more conspicuous clothing and jewelry.
"I don't like it," Mina muttered and you rolled your eyes.
"It's not about whether you like it, it's about whether I look like her."
Mina shook her head.
"You definitely don't do that and I still think it's ugly."
"Well, maybe I should always dress like this now," you muttered as you stepped forward to leave the house.
During the drive to the café, Mina explained her rules to you and that she would interrupt the whole thing immediately if you didn't follow them.
But you didn't listen to her at all. In your mind you were with Y / N and the life that was actually intended for you and it annoyed you, that Mina was so addicted to control.
"So, behave, understand?" She finished her sermon as she parked the car.
"Do I have any other choice? Otherwise you would probably take me to the junkyard," you joked and climbed out of the car, only for Mina to come to you and take her hand in yours. You wanted to push her away, her behavior was disgusting, but instead you gave her a warm smile and pressed a quick kiss on her cheek.
You knew exactly how much that would hurt her.
Mina pulled you into the overcrowded café and despite the many people you immediately discovered the young couple, who were sitting at one of the back tables.
Y / N, who had a child on her lap and her husband Jonathan.
Shit, shot through your head. They look so happy ..
You felt Mina's grip on your hand tighten a little, and if your bones weren't made of steel, you would have been afraid, Mina would break your hand. As you both approached the table, your eyes were glued to Y / N. In fact, she looked exactly like you, the only difference being that her hair was a little longer than yours. She moved like you, had the same posture as you and wore the same innocent smile on her face as you always did.
And as much as you loathe Mina, you had to give her one thing: she had done an excellent job designing you and you finally understood, what she always meant when she told you, that you were perfect.
She could have shown you a photo of Y / N and you would have been 100% sure that it was you.
"Oh Mina, hi", Y / N squeaked excitedly and got up from her seat when she saw Mina and you and you couldn't help but grin. Stupid thing.
"Hello Y / N," Mina mumbled when Y / N came and hugged her.
"I'm Y / N," Y / N said to you with a polite smile after letting go of Mina.
"And this is my husband Jonathan and our daughter Emily."
Your gaze wandered to the child who paid you no attention and to Jonathan who smiled crookedly.
"Uhm Y / N, that's my girlfriend Laura", Mina stammered and you looked at her confused. Laura?
"Hi," you mumbled tersely, trying to bring a smile to your face.
You watched Y / N turn away from you againe to sit next to your husband and put the child back on your lap.
"God, I'm so glad, that we can meet," Y / N said excitedly as Mina and you sat down (Mina across from Y / N while you sat down across from her annoyed husband).
"You know, I was really sad when you said a few weeks ago you weren't going to our college meeting .. I missed you, Mina."
You knew how much Y / N's words would hurt Mina and suddenly you found the fact, that you were sitting with her in this cafe with the real Y / N and her great life more than just amazing. And you knew that Mina made herself very vulnerable at that moment, which was actually a rarity.
"You know, Mina, I was really happy for you when you told me that you had a girlfriend," Y / N said while she stared at you curiously. Holy shit.
"How did you meet?"
"Uhm she-" Mina began, but you interrupted her.
"Let me tell her, honey."
You grabbed Mina's hand, that was on the table and crossed her fingers with yours.
"Well, as you know, Mina works in this robot company. And because Mina is not stupid, she had the great idea to create a human robot that exactly meets her ideas, who wouldn't do that if you were CEO of this company? And unfortunately her ideas looked exactly like me and in front of you sits the end result of her experiment and thats our lovestory. "
Y / N and Jonathan stared at you in confusion and you could hear Mina holding her breath. You held this tension for a few seconds before you laughed out loud.
"Oh my god, guys..that was a joke", you laughed and immediately the looks of the others relaxed again. Mina cleared her throat only to growl a quiet "not funny".
"So you know, I work in a bookstore and she was my customer back then. Love at first sight and that shit. And then we started dating," you explained and looked at Mina lovingly from the side. Disgusting.
You heard Y / N squeak softly next to Jonathan and you wondered if you were as annoying as she was.
"Thats so cute," she said. "And how long have you been together?"
"4 years", Mina muttered and you hummed in agreement.
"I'm happy for you," said Y / N and looked back and forth between you and Mina, smiling.
"Jonathan and I have known each other since college, as Mina must have told you."
"Oh yeah," you said, staring at the child playing in Y / N's lap. It looked just like her, and who knows, maybe it was just a robot?
"Mina told me a lot about you, unfortunately a little late. Well, whatever, what are you two doing?"
"We're both mechanics and work in rocket construction," Y / N explained and Jonathan just nodded.
"You know, Jonathan is currently working with other mechanics on a rocket that will go to Mars."
Y / N gave Jonathan a proud look.
"Oh wow, that's so cool," you said with mock admiration as you stared at Jonathan with bright eyes.
"You know, Mina's work is really boring, but rocket building? That is so interesting, tell me more about your work, jonathan."
The man in front of you looked at you confused as you cocked your head and smiled sweetly at him.
"Uhm, so I work in a team with 14 other mechanics," he explained bored and crossed his arms over his chest. "And we plan to finish the whole project within the next two years."
"And should the rocket be for humans?" You asked as you put your hand on his arm to remove a lint that didn't exist. Beside you, you could feel Mina squeeze your hand tight and you knew, that she hated to see you obviously flirting with the man.
Jonathan cleared his throat and pulled his arms apart again so that you had to remove your hand again.
"This rocket is supposed to be for robots," he muttered, looking at his wife, who was sitting next to him, smiling gently.
"Oh, did you hear Mina? Robots?" You said as you turned to Mina to look at her with shining eyes.
"Maybe I should report to NASA, I would be the perfect astronaut for this mission".
You looked back at Y / N and Jonathan, who obviously didn't know what to make of your statement again. You grinned cheekily when you put your hand on Jonathans again.
"I understand, that all of the robot comments might sound a bit confusing, but you have to know, that Mina has some really weird fetishes."
------------
"What the hell was that supposed to be?" Scolded Mina after the two of you had reentered your house. You turned to her and shrugged your shoulders.
"I don't know what you mean, honey," you said with an innocent smile on your face as you approached her passed to enter the living room. Mina watched you angrily as you let yourself fall on the sofa to stare indifferently out of the window.
"Those stupid robot comments?" She hissed angrily.
"And then the disgusting way you stared at Jonathan with .."
You snorted in annoyance.
"Of course it is that thing that bothers you".
"Yes, it bothers me because you know that I hate him", Mina hissed and hobbled into the room to stand in front of you.
"You fucking belong to me Y / N .."
"Of course I'm yours," you mumbled sadly and while you were still looking out the window, you could feel her angry eyes digging into your skin. You thought back to the previous afternoon. Y / N had started talking about their perfect life in response to your questions. Her and Jonathan's career, and then cute Emily, who had been sitting at the table the whole time playing with a teddy bear. You noticed, that as a stupid robot you could probably never have children and you couldn't help but feel envy for this woman and again there was this hate for Mina.
"Okay, take that off," Mina suddenly said in a sharp voice. You looked at her confused and blinked a few times.
"Please what-?"
"Take. That. Off.", She repeated, growling, while her eyes wandered over your body. "This makeup, the jewelry and these clothes, that's not you. And I want you .. now"
"Oh no ... I definitely won't do that," you breathed as you stood up.
"I told you, I didn't want anything physical from you until things were cleared up."
"I waited a long time Y / N and nothing happened, so take this shit off," Mina spat, staring at you impatiently.
"Leave me alone, Wilhemina," you muttered as you stepped past her to leave the room.
"You will come back immediately, Y / N", Mina suddenly shouted in a tone that was strange to you and immediately made you jump. Her voice suddenly sounded so shrill that it gave goose bumps over your body.
You turned around automatically to go back to the living room, where Mina was still angry and looking at you expectantly.
"I want you to take your clothes off," she said sharply, and you just couldn't argue. There was that sound in her voice that she had never yelled at you with, even though you had argued a lot in the past few weeks.
"Now, Y / N," she hissed loudly before she hit the floor with her stick and you immediately began to take off all the jewelry, that you had only been wearing to not look like Y / N. You grabbed an unused kleenex, that was lying on the living room table to wipe the lipstick off your lips. Your fingers carefully removed the lashes, that you had placed on your eyelashes. Your eyes were still on Mina, who had meanwhile sat down on the sofa and watched your every move. You stood in front of her, undecided after throwing the handkerchief with your lipstick and lashes on the table.
"I want you to sit on my lap," said Mina and suddenly you understood why you were actually doing what she wanted.
“I want.”
Damn robot.
You carefully climbed onto her lap and stared sadly into her brown eyes, which were dark with lust.
"Good girl," she hummed, sending warmth through your whole body.
"Its that what you want, isn't it? Be my good girl?"
You looked down at her with glassy eyes before you nodded.
Immediately her hands began to wander over your body and you knew that you had failed.
You had never hated yourself and your stupid body as much as you had for the next few hours. As warm tears of frustration ran down your face, you moaned her name like a whore. It was fascinating how your body reacted to her touch, you wanted her so bad, simply because she programmed you that way.
With that she had won.
You had fought her for 3 weeks, only to end up in bed with her again. You hated her for it and you hated yourself and still you let her fuck you so senselessly.
When you found yourself in your bed a few hours later and felt her naked body pressed against yours, you felt more terrible than ever. Mina had her arms wrapped tightly around you and you could feel her breath on your neck. It was all disgusting and you noticed how it got too much.
You carefully freed yourself from her iron grip to go quietly from your bedroom into the bathroom. You turn on the light and stand in front of the mirror to examine your naked body. Disgusting.
Your face looked completely tearful, with a swollen lower lip that she had a few hours agohad eyes.
Your body was covered with small bruises and the prints of her fingernails and suddenly you could feel her hands running over your body again. It was electrifying.
You hated this picture in front of you. You were only there to be hers. To do what she wanted. And there was nothing you could do about it.
Your fingers carefully traced her markings. None of this was real. Your skin was some kind of rubber that only discolored. An illusion to hide your cables. And you've had enough of this human shell, this illusion. You were a robot and you looked like a human, you acted like a human and that didn't make any sense. You finally wanted to know who or rather what you were. Your eyes wandered from your reflection in the mirror to the sink and the small nail scissors stabbed your eyes.
The whole thing was idiotic, but you couldn't help but hold out your trembling hand for it.
----------------
A few minutes after you got out of bed, Mina woke up too. The lack of warmth in your body was missing, as was your weight in her arms. For a brief moment she was afraid, that you would finally have run away, but then it occurred to her, that you couldn't run away, that's how she had programmed you. Still, she had the feeling that something was wrong.
Mina sat up to grab her dressing gown, which she pulled over her naked body, and then hobbled out of the bedroom into the hallway to look for you. She didn't have to look far as the light shone from the open bathroom and she saw you leaning over the sink.
"Princess?" She asked softly and put a hand on your bare shoulder. You winced at her touch as you turned and revealed to Mina what you had done. Mina let out a shocked scream and stared in horror at your slashed arm, which revealed all the cables and your metal bones.
"What the fuck are you doing ?!", She screamed angrily as she grabbed your arm.
"I- I just wanted to see my real body," you stuttered and hid the nail scissors behind your back.
"Don't you see that you are destroying everything?", Mina spat and looked at you hurt.
"You're the one who breaks everything."
"Mina, please," you mumbled and pulled your open arm back again.
"I just want you to be normal again," she breathed and felt tears come out of her eyes. You shook your head slowly.
"We already had this conversation, I'm not going back to normal, you have to understand."
"Oh I understand it now".
Mina looked at you thoughtfully for a moment before continuing.
"Get dressed."
"It's 5 am," you said and watched in confusion as Mina turned around to go back to your bedroom from the bathroom.
"You understood me, Y / N", Mina mumbled and heard how you ran after her angrily.
"Make up your mind Mina," you hissed as you walked past her to your closet. "Before you wanted me to take my clothes off, just so you would tell me now to get dressed again."
"You can also accompany me to my office naked," Mina hummed, who started to get dressed. You spun around and stared at her in confusion.
"You want us to go to your office?"
"Exactly".
"Forget it," you snorted and shook your head.
"I won't do that shit. You can't-"
"Shut the fuck up!" Shouted Mina.
"I want us to go to my office and you will come with me, do you understand me?"
She glared at you and you nodded quickly.
"Good," she hissed. "Now damn it, get dressed and shut up."
----------
Mina was incredibly nervous when she drove to her office. She didn't really know what she wanted there herself.
She wanted you to go back to normal, but you didn't go back to normal. She wanted you to be Y / N again, but you weren't. Mina could feel that you were scared when you sat silently next to her in the car without moving. But she didn't care, earlier she might have calmed you down, but earlier you were still like Y / N.
Mina parked the car in the company's parking lot before opening the door for you to get out. Without a word, she ran through the building, clutching your wrist with her free hand. What hadn't been cut open. She stomped angrily into the office of Jeff and Mutt, who were bent over the table again to coke.
"Look Mutt, Venny joins the chatroom," grinned Mutt as he lifted his head from the table and recognized Miss Venable.
"What gives us the honor?"
Mina put her hand on your back and pushed you forward.
"She is broken," she croaked. "She doesn't work anymore .."
"So what should we do now?" Asked Jeff, as he got up and walked over to you to look at your cut arm.
"I want you to fix her, she should be normal," Mina hissed and felt tears sting in her eyes again.
"Otherwise replace her if you have to, I don't want her if she is like that."
Mina looked sadly into your fearful eyes. There was nothing left of the loving glint she'd seen when you smiled at her the first time. You weren't like Y / N and as long as you weren't like her, she didn't want you. Damn robot.
Sandman, I'm so alone Don't have nobody to call my own Please turn on your magic beam Mr. Sandman, bring me a dream
#wilhemina venable x reader#wilhemina venable imagine#sarah paulson x reader#sarah paulson imagine#american horror story
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Scottrospective: Scott Pilgrim Gets It Together! or Days of Summer
Hello all you happy scottaholics! Welcome back to those of you who’ve read the rest of this retrospective and welcome to those of you just joining us. This is the Scottrospective, my look at all 6 volumes of Scott Pilgrim, the game and the movie. It’s all the video game refrenes, slice of life story telling and boob punches you can handle!
It’s been three months since I left off with “The Infinite Sadness” , and while I intended to cover this one for Valentine’s Day, my schedule got away from me and with March being full up, this ended taking till April
I”m not too put off by it though as the hiatus between these two reviews is fitting for this one both in story and out. In story there’s a couple month time skip between books, while out.. this book got delayed a few times.
This is notable to me at least because this was the first volume of the series I bought when it came out. As i’ve brought up before I came into the series via the Free Comic Book Day Issue and the second and third volumes, picking one up later. I still have my original copies despite no longer really needing them thanks to having the color editions in general. Always will provided something dosne’t happen to them. So this was my first instalment that I got to read fresh and got to wait for and be hyped about and i’d saved enough money that I was able to pre-order it. So the experince of waiting and waiting for the book only to keep seeing it slide back is vivid in my mind as is the frustration I felt having the one thing I COULD NOT WAIT FOR, keep going further and further back.
So with this long wait and the fact I bought this one when it came out, as I would for the next two which didn’t get delayed thank god, this volume naturally means a lot for me. When I wrote Scott Pilgrim fanfiction, this volume’s status quo is what I based it on. It was the coolest to me and the one I loved to reread the most. It has the most contained story, the most character growth at the time, and the best art due to Bryan’s style having finally hit it’s stride. Not that the art for volumes 1-3 is bad mind you, but it’s very clear his style was changing and shaping into what it is now with each one and while it’d change a bit more, this volume is where the style and quality everyone thinks of when they think of this series and the kind you see on various art done from it comes from.
So as you can tell i’m excited for this one. Before we get started there WERE two shorter comics released between this one both for Free Comic Book day, the first of which, Free Scott Pilgrim, is the reason I got into the series and the second, the Wonderful World of Kim Pine .. was both delightful and sets up Kim moving in with Hollie for this volume. Originally I intended to cover these in this review.. but I realized they wouldn’t of helped the pacing and this review is going to be way longer than my standard as is.
So instead I came up with the compromise. I did review them.. but as bonus reviews on my patreon. For just one buck a month you can read them and help me reach my stretch goals which now include reviews of Lost at Sea, Seconds and SnotGirl, aka Bryan’s OTHER comics. You can find my patreon THROUGH THIS LINK HERE if your intrested in the exclusives or helping me reach my reviews. I also intend to do an exclusive of Monica Beetle, a short comic Bryan did starring Scott’s dad in the 70s at some point so keep your eyes peeled for that, as well as the three strips he did of Style, the comic that gave us the prototypes for Lisa and Kim.
I will talk about their connections and setups for this volume briefly: FSP sets up the next ex as a ninja, with Roxy having a bunch of posters come to live and pummel our boy, while Wonderful World has Hollie tell Kim she can move in with her. It’s not much, hence why i made these exclusives but they are good stories, so check them out. And with that JOIN ME UNDER THE CUT, as we enter Scott’s world once more as he grapples with the past, employment, and saying the L-Word... which might be Lesbians. I don’t know. Find out bellow!
So we open Two Months after Volume 3 with a beach birthday party! Complete with Kim in a swim suit!

But it’s for Julie who lobs a volley ball at Scott’s head when he and Ramona try to make out.

I also dont’ know if “Manfiesting out of all the world’s collectives sorrows” counts as a “birth” necessarily but whatever. I love a good beach story. It’s just a fun setitng for swimming, romance and battling a giant crab with the help of the bird what lives in your backpack.
So after the beach our heroes get dinner and Ramona sweetly calls Scott the nicest guy she’s ever dated. He responds with “That’s sad”. Blunt, but entirely accruate. Julie calls it pathetic and tries to counter Ramona RIGHTFULLY saying “who the hell asked you?” something that really should come after EVERYTHING Julie said with “Back off bitch i’ts my birthday”
So later that night Sex Bomb-Omb has a beach sing along, and I can’t help but notice Neil’s hairy legs.
I mean yes it does make since for a 19 year old to have leg hair, but of all the characters besides Stephen, the ONLY other character we’ve seen it with to give it to, why the character you specifically single out as “Young” it’s just a weird choice I never noticed before.
But anyways Julie has to whine about it because she’s Julie, she can’t stand other people being happy and complains the song...
One of my faviorite moments of the series. Knives puts a nicer spin on it, she’s here too and not over with Neil because, as we’ll find out later they broke up, but she just asks if Knives should be drinking. She shouldn’t but for fucks sake lady she was just trying to talk. I also do like that despite Julie trying to control Ramona’s love life, you know the thing the VILLIANS are doing, Ramona cannot stand her now.. and honestly probably never did.
But Julie, SOMEHOW turns out to be right for once as Kim and Knives have disappeared later that night, and Scott elects to go look for them. Also Ramona says she wants to marry kim while drunk after Julie asks if she does. The throuple is strong with these three... serioulsy that’s my one true pairing for all three now. I mean it ballances out their collective flaws, it’s cute and Ramona is just as into her boyfriends ex as she is her actual boyfriend even when she’s not hamered. Why the fuck not?
Scott instead finds the two making out. I will confess I shipped these two when I was younger.. but I don’t. Not because their gay or anything or because I found another ship for them but because the age gap is still just as wide as it was for Scott. The game did not get this memo and made them a couple which is... ehhhhhhhhh. I mean I wouldn’t mind either being bi, but it just brings up the same problems even if their both hammered. I also question why this scene exists. No really outside of one face punchingly dickish comment from Scott later, this never comes up again and it doesn’t effect Kim’s or Knives character any. Why have this? it’s clearly not fanservice, it’s just a thing that happened. And while Scott Pilgrim as a series does have some of those, as does life and that’s fine.. this is a bit too major, i.e. Kim and Knives, two of the main cast, making out, drunkenly or not, to just.. gloss over you know? I feel Kim would feel majorly guilty for this, as she has the most active moral compass of the main group, and Knives would be massively confused but it’s just.. forgotten because I dunno. In a story that’s otherwise pretty stellar this stands out as an utter waste of potential. I’m not saying have them hook up, gay or not it’s still not better than what Scott did, but have them at least talk about it and have both grow or something from it. Sheesh.
So we cut to.. another day. Maybe the next day I dunno but it’s August. Point is Scott and Wallace are grocery shopping and Wallace notes they can’t get fancy mayo as their barely in budget. I would’ve glossed over this scene... but @panur pointed out back around the Infinite Sadness review that this scene reveals something very intrestng: Scott.. is kind of a fincial burdern to Wallace. Before this while Scott mooched off him it wasn’t all that clear that Wallace was struggling.
But here we notice that outside of some Havarti, it’s just the simplest stuff imaginable: turkey, bread, boxed mac and cheese ramen noodles... it’s nto BAD stuff, I have all of that in my house and it’s good stuff... but it’s not the kind of thing that you need to carefully budget for. Now granted part of this probably is Wallace as he likely spends a LOT on drinks, condoms and two 2 liters of diet soda a day.. but while he really needs to adress his alcohol issues, the rest is fair. He should be allowed to have as much sex and diet coke as he wants it’s his money. Same with the havarti. He earned it if he wants some really delcious cheese with herbs, seriously Havarati is the best, then that’s his bidness. But the rest of the time he’s barely managing to get a basketfull of cheap food.. because he has to provide for Scott. It’s clearly something Scott dosen’t get and something I can relate to not getting. It took me a while to get how hard it is to budget for a full family, let alone two people on one income like Wallace has to. But Wallace is working on a nice job... but still a call center or something. He can’t pay for everything and the finccial stress is about to give as their landlord wants to meet with them. And as we’re about to learn things were even worse than we thought.
Our heroes head home where we get a truly iconic conversation when, over margeritas (again proving my point that while Scott certainly isn’t HELPIGN wallace’s finacials, it’s not all on him)
This will be imporant later.. both the Lesbians part and Scott’s struggle saying it. he tried earlier on the beach but couldn’t get it out and Ramona clearly didn’t want to hear it as she kapt sshhhhing him.. playfully of course but still.
So some time later it’s moving day! Kim is moving into Hollie and Josephs, and Scott, Stephen and Jason are helping. You might be wondeirng who the hell Jason is. He’s Kim’s boyfriend. I do not likes him. Not because he’s kim’s boyfriend, getting upset because a fictional character you fancy is dating is just patently stupid. I’ts like getting upset a celebrity crush is in a relationship: you had no chance anyway why. I wasn’t even bothered as a kid. I don’t really like him.. because he has no real personaliy and no real baring on the plot and I struggle to think why Bryan included him other than for a really annoying plot twist next time, which does not help my liking him knowing what’s coming.
But while our heroes help our heroine move in, and Scott is suprised Hollie is there despite Kim having told him a minute ago she was moving in with her, something I can relate to sadly, we get something vitally plot important; Stephen passes Joseph’s room.. and notices he has a small recording setup in his room. Stephen quickly begs him to record the band’s album and Joseph agrees if only because he finds Stephen hot. Eh i’ve seen better relationships start on less, fair enough. And yes I said relationship more on that in a bit.
So after a brief scene of Scott and Ramona having lunch where Scott fails to know her age and when Ramona says he could just ask.. hea sks and she dosen’t tell, not a bad scene character wise just not very plot important and probably should’ve bene swapped in order with the previous scene, we get to the next day. There’s a heat wave so Wallace orders Scott to go to the mall maybe find a job. He emphasises that.
Instead Scott just sorta bums around thirst but nto having any money.. until an old face shows up.
For those who forgot like Scott has, it’s Lisa Miller from the Volume 2 flashback, the girl who had a crush on Scott and was close friends with him and Kim. After a tackle hug and some panic Scott eventually remembers.... if in a curiously unique and self serving way
At the time this was just hilarous. Now it’s very clear foreshadowing for the big twist in Volume 6. The two catch up while Scott is very clearly attracted to her but very clearly dosen’t want to be, with Lisa wondering where kim is, finding about Ramona, etc, before offering Scott lunch as the two catch up and Scott is very conflicted about how he feels. It’s nice visual stuff as he’s blushing, something more clear in the color version and trying to desperatley sort things out. As for why Lisa’s here she’s moving to the states soon, but is staying with her sister for now.
So after an incdental scene with Wallace we catch up with Knives, who has broken up with Neil. And after some talk about Clash at the Demonhead, Tamra notes Knives apparently put a big x on her shrine of Scott... which baffles Knifves as she sure as hell didn’t do it and is still, sadly, obessed with Scott as ever. Granted Tamra isn’t at all helpful here claiming she did it even when she says she didn’t, is clearly confused and while yes we don’t know who else would care Tams, that just makes it all the more creepy. Stop gaslighting your bestie, she’s already got enoguh issues. She dosen’t need thinking she might have a split personality on top of the stalking, obession over a guy who has no intrest in loving her back, and attempted stabbings. Knives dosesn’t get a ton of focus in this one sadly. She kind of takes a back seat, and while sh’es not GONE from the volumle and someone close to her does impact it, she dosen’t really have any personal progression, negative or positive, like she does in every other volume, a shame since her personal jouney is one of the most intresting of the main cast.
Anyways that night Scott hangs out with Lisa, having not gotten around to telling Ramona she exists yet and plays a game of find the Kim Pine. She goes to Neil’ and Stephen’s place for practice, but finds no one there and Neil being a dick... get used to that it’s going to get about 80 times worse soon enough. Though we do get this classic panel i’ve gotten some use out of
He goes to Kim’s place, but she , Hollie and Satan’s Misterss have all left to Sneaky Dee’s, the local mexican place, for something to eat and Stephen is either high or doing.. something with Joseph.
Yeah i’m not hiding that Stephen turns out to be gay in the final volume or cheating on Bitch and a Half with Joseph. And even if I hate Julie with the power of a frozen sun, I still dont’ think cheating on her is kosher. He could’ve just broken up with her and while part of it was likely confusion, and he could also be bi and not decided which one he wanted to be with, it’s still a dick move.. and later makes him a hypocrite but that’s a rant for next volume.
So our heroes FINALLY find Kim, along with Hollie and Mouthface. And a nice thing I like is that Kim and Lisa are just.. increidbly close, happily catching up and making plans to hang before Lisa leaves, that despite Lisa having feelings for Scott the two ended up as close and She and Scott did and i’ts sweet to see. it’s also just.. rare to see Kim GENUINELY happy. I mean look at her
It’s not like she HASN’T smiled across the series but normally she’s just so miserable, likely because her best friends are a grumbly asshole who forces them to hang out with a raging typhoon of bitchiness, and an insenitive asshat who she never got closure with. This is the first decent human being whose not Ramona or Hollie, and that last one’s not going to last, in a while. It’s genuinely sweet to just see her.. enjoy the moment for once, honestly engaged with someone. Ramona shows up and finally meets Lisa, who apparently was on Degrassi.. I mean she says candaian show no one ever watched, and I watched that plenty but i’d like to think she was on there for a season or two. I liked Degrassi.. I honeslty miss it and think it could use some form of revivial and think porting it to netflix was a smart decision.. what wasn’t so smart was not having the other seasons leading into it on there. Need to watch more of it.
So the next day Ramona stumbles into Scott’s dreams and both are annoyed, with Ramona suggesting he get a job. This finally gets him to try. He asks about Wallace’s work but understandably, he dosen’t really want scott there and asks if he even knows. So Scott sets out to ask his other friends for jobs, while Knives shows up saying she’s “totally not stalking him” but someone is following HER, a mysterious spiky haired dude in a black leather jacket, shades and with a sword on his back. Whu-oh.
He tries Second Cup, with Julie annoyed that Stephen’s recording.. it’s hard to tell if she’s annoyed because she’s a bitch or because Stephen is both gneuinely annoying right now and clearly screwing around behind her back. My take?

But Scott realizes maybe getting a job at his Sister’s place of work who also works with his arch enemy might be stupid and backs out. He next tries Kim’s, but backs out of that too, admitting to kim it’d be stupid and Kim lists off all the reasons (His lack of resume, the fact them working together would be stresful and his ountain of late fees) why that’d be stupid, but in a jovial way. For once i’ts clear that while she’s still taking the piss out of them she isn’t mad at Scott.
In fact she genuinely helps him get a job, taking him to Stephen’s work since hers is dead right now anyway, a vegan place. While Scott naturally compares things to a job system as he’d start as dishwasher while Stephen taught him prep, Scott agrees to genuinely take this seriously and Stephen’s boss decides “eh why not” when he asks her to employ him. Scott is gainfully employed baby! God I miss that. Seriously i’m not pimping my patreon for shits and giggles.
But as he celebrates and Kim wishes she could punch his life in the face, they run into some trouble on the way home: Katana man who slices a motherfucking bus in half and chases them, with Scott reluctnat to fight because he has a sword and Scott does not, which is valid. He does escape though using subspace. He and Kim part awkardly and he returns home to Wallace throwing a party with two intresting charcters, a woman and a man of color, one of the few in the entire work, who are never seen again.
The next night is practice.. or rather recording, and we start to see Neil get edged out, with him unable to come due to exams and clearly not happy about it, and Stephen just kind of ignoring anything he cares about like the dickhead he is. It dosen’t get any better as “recording” ends up just being Scott, Ramona, and Ratfaced Knacker watching bored with Joseph and Stephen work. Eventaully Scott and Ramona decide to get out of there as things are getting tensed between thing one and thing bitch, and leave.. and take Julie with them for some reason.
So the three have dinner with Lisa, Kim, and Jason before The Mummies Curse thankfully leaves. Jason thought they were friends.
We also get this exchange.
I mean.. she is the better option. She his THE option. But before we can get the obvious answer of
Stephen comes in with Knives. He smuggled her in. This leads to problems when Scott returns from the bathroom to find Queen Bitch throwing a bitch fit about him having brought her and screechs at her when she dares to talk to him “How do you even know my name?” Well Ted Cruz, you see when someone is an actually thoughtful and likes other people, they keep track of things about them and don’t constnatly tear them down or assume their partneer is automatically bonking a 17 year old instead of you know, actually forming something of a friendship and not shutting her out sensing she needs this friend group. Some people are not vacous piles of vitriol who care about nothing but themself and seem to go off at the slightest thing.
Scott takes Ramona home but finds a drunken barely awake wallace so no sexy times. Not that he could anyway as the next day is the meeting with Peter their landlord.
Peter reveals they’ll have to clear out by the 27th as their lease was for one year and their paid up.. as in only the first and last month. The two part melacholy knowing this sucks and isn’t a great situation. Then it’s time for Scott to work work, angelica, work work, eliza and peggy. After grueling day, can relate, he runs into a wisp on teh wend and steels himself for a fight.. okay he bitches about it being too hot but it’s Scott. so it’s expected. He does get a hit in on his mysterious persuer.. and that’s when we meet Roxy.
Via boob punch, something Scott’s not proud of but in his defense, as Roxy keeps complaning about it, he was blindly struggling for a hit and din’t know the next Ex, or any of them, were female.. not that Ramona didn’t suggest it loudly enough by empahsising “exes” but scott’s a bit of a fuckwit. She mentions “everyone allways remmebers you”.. which is kind of ominus and tells me she tried to hook back up with ramona despite her having a boyfriend and she rejected her. Still on good terms though. But this confusing encounter ends with Roxy vowing she’ll get him next time gadget, next time.
So we get some assorted slice of life scenes with the band, lisa and what have you as Scott tries to get in touch with Ramona but she keeps avoiding him. THat’s not worrysome at all. And Lisa brings up high school while drunk and clearly hits on Scott. He sidesteps it with her drunkness.. but this clearly isn’t over or going to stop being a problem.
Speaking of problems Wallace makes Scott confront the truth: He either needs to find a new place to live or commit to staying, though Wallace is trying to nudge him toward asking Ramona to move into her place. Scott starts thinking it over, it being very hard especially since, as Stephen points out this was his very first place of his own.. but Stephen also points out these things are temoporary.. right before Scott ducks from katana guy.
At work Scott wonders who it could be, though it turns out Stephen’s met him before, as he’s brought his family in here. So he’s PROBABLY not one of the exes.. but it leaves the question why he wants to cut Scott in half like Dewey Cox’s brother. But it turns out he’s nto the only enemy Scott’s casually running into as Roxy is there too.. with Ramona.
The two talk, clearly about Scott and Lisa with Roxy trying to convince her he’s cheating and Ramona rightfully trusting Scott: while he IS attracted to her, he’s been fighting it every step of the way. Scott storms over to find out what’s going on and while Ramona is more distracted by his new job, she eventually realizes Roxy did attack him and he simply dscribed her poorly when he mentioned the incident over the phone. Scott is confused as he dosen’t get it. Is she with one of the exes what? After some hiinting from both parties, and Roxy rightfully mocking him for not getting the obvious... he finallyg ets it in the grandest way possible.
So Roxy gets ready to fight and Scott can’t because sword, and gets fired in the background as he hides in Ramona’s bag and Ramona prepares to step in. Roxy screams at her for trusting him and defending him when Ramona.. just dosen’t her boyfriend to be bisected by her ex. A fight insues and a damn cool one at that. I honestly wish the movie had taken more from this, but simply didn’t have time leading it to instead be more like the envy fight with a bit of the Winfried Hailey fight from Free Scott Pilgrim.
Roxy chases her and Ramona rightly points out Scott can’t run forever but takes him into Subspace.. where Roxy heads them off, having “taught you everything you know bitch” leading to a cool fight in the wintery version of subspace. Again why THIS wasn’t used instead I have no real idea. We also find out she’s a half ninja but she eventually leaves afer Ramona presses that button.. but Rammy is actually apologetic about it and Roxy’s “I hope you and your 24 children are happy together comment” is telling.
Upon this readthrough of the volume.. I realized Roxy is the most layered and intresting of the exes next to Gideon himself. None of them are out and out terrible, but most of them have pretty simple motives: to kill Scott, ???, profit. Or in Todd’s case to kill scott, bang around and be a dick. But Roxy.. genuinely wants Ramona back. She’s the ONLY one who does: Gideon kinda does, but only in the sense that he wants her for his collection. But Roxy geninely still loves her, admitting so during this fight. And it’s not like she has no chance: out of the 7 exes she’s the ONLY one who parted with Ramona on anything resembling good terms. While intrestingly we don’t find out WHY they broke up, Ramona didn’t cheat on her like she did everyone else she was with. The two have coffee and hang out and Ramona geninely dosen’t even consider until Roxy tries to attack Scott that she’d really try killing him and tries her best to talk her out of it. But what holds Roxy back is her anger: She’s so bitter about the fact Ramona is bi or pan, so dedicated to viewing Ramona’s very orintation as a betryal (though Ramona calling it a phase dosen’t help and the movie RIGHTLY has Roxie comment on it and fly into a rage over it), and so driven to make sure the woman she loves dosen’t get hurt again that it blinds her to the fact Ramona dosen’t love her the same way anymore, and that while Scott is objectively a dick, and a cheater, and a greasy buttcrack pooflap, he is not a terrible person. A meh one sure, but he’s got good to him. She’s so biophobic she simply can’t see he’s a harmless moron.. well harmless to Ramona even with the cheating. He’s killed two people at this point and will kill again. Also she apparently has issues with only being a half ninja but this is never adressed. Point is Roxy’s really grown on me and is now probably my faviorite ex.
Scott and Ramona talk it over on their way to Sneaky Dees and Scott finally asks to move in and gets a yes. His response is downright adorable.
So at Sneaky Dee’s Young Neil is just a bit absolutely irate with Scott.. which isn’t fair as them not playing things is entirely on the blocky face asshole. Yell at him.. which he does, pointing out that they haven’t played shows in forever, and that the lady who owns Sneaky Dees not only runs shows, in the upstairs space, but has been asking them to play. Kim is rightly curious about this and to both Stephen just keeps saying “We’re recording right now.” And some of you may of wondered why I hate him. Well while he’s not exctly stellar in the first half in the second Stephen becomes goddman insufferable, slowly destroying the band for his affair and not giving one iota of a shit what anyone else wants. He’s a selfish, egomanical cheating prick. And yes I get it their recording an album.. but doing live shows would give them extra practice, MONEY, even if likely not a lot and exposure for said album. I get professoinal bands stop touring for a bit to do an album but you are not a professional band, and said bands still often iron out the album on the road. God you suck.
But while Scott sidesteps this argument he walks into another where Ramona confronts him about lisa about liking her.. and he rightly says if there was anything, which there was not it’s in the past. And while yes he is a cheater, she does not know this yet. This plot honestly would’ve worked better if she learned about the knives thing sooner, but instead she just comes off as paranoid for listening to Roxy about something that isn’t happening. Yes Scott’s been shown to be attracted to her.. but he’s been ashamed of it, fighting it and in denial about it, and is clealry all in with Ramona. Being attracted to someone else on a phsyical level does NOT mean your relationship is doomed.
Things get worse as he goes home to ruminate.. and instead sees a man’s Penis. And Wallace..is at his second most unsymapthetic, not letting Scott get a shirt or a bus pass or something like a decent human being for no goddamn reason. Usually when Wallace is a dick to Scott, Scott’s earned it and badly needs a slap in the face. Here he’s just being a prick because.. the plot needs him to? I dunno it dosen’t work for me. It’s in character, I just don’t have to like it.
So with no other options.. Scott ends up at Lisa’s. And so we get the last temptation of Scott. Lisa admits, embarassed that she’s been wearing sexy dresses and what not specifically to attract him, with Scott also mentioning how things are rough, Lisa tries to fight it herself pointing out he’s with ramona.. and when Scott points out they didn’t do anything in the past Lisa points out they should’ve.. and maybe they should now.
We fade to black as Scott ends up in a dream and finds Roxy, who naturally has the same skill and tries to Freddy Kruger him before he wakes. He finds Lisa but they didn’t do anything: Scott pushed her away and babbled about how much he loved Ramona instead. As i’ve said.... his heart was never with LIsa... and even when he was so close to giving in he couldn’t. It’s a tangible sign of growth: He screwed around on Knives with Ramona, and given how bad things were getting with Ramona, it would be oh so easy to once again ditch a relationship the minute he found something else and oh so understandable. But... he dosen’t. He loves Ramona even if he hasn’t said it, he wants to make this work, and he’s changed. She’s changed him. He’s not quite a good man yet.. bu he’s getting to be good enough. Love turned him from a skeezy dumbass into a far more loveable dumbass. Ramona’s gotten him to stop dating a teenager (even if again he cheated), face his past with envy to finally move on and now get a job. He’s realized just hwo much she means to his life and world and so he goes to tell her.
Riggghtttt after going to get his job back and works a shift, with steven wanting to punch his life in the balls. Stephen shut the fuck up. Just because Scott is lucky and your stuck dating satan’s scrotum does not mean you get to punch his life int he balls. Kim does, because he’s put her through more shit but not you.
He goes to second cup to talk to Stacey.. only to end up at the wrong one where Knives also now has a job... and we finally get an answer to who the mystery katana guy is...
Yup turns out wielding giant weapons in vengance runs in the family. As for how he knows about Scott her aunt mentioned her boyfriend, everyone freaked out and obviously while her mom was mentioned as knowing in volume 1, they did not tell her dad whose brain turned into an engine of vengance and defaced the shrine. While part of it is apparnetly racisim for Scott being white the fact is he clearly saw Scott’s photograph. The guy is 5 years older. I get him being protective. Still dosen’t justify cutting off his head. His balls maybe but not his head.
And then Scott ran, once agian finding a subspace entracne.. and this time we see inside ramona’s head and well...
Yeah.. that’s.. kind of fucked, and Ramona isn’t happy scott saw that, though she backs down once Scott explains..a nd then gets upset over him staying at Lisa’s but before SCott can tell her he loves her it turns out Roxy stayed over. So yeah, Ramona might of cheated, she tells him to alk it off and he runs around in a psycadelic haze of emtoinal confusion. And meets.. someone new...
Scott snaps out of his funk and ignores his doppleganger heading back for Ramona... whose fighting Mr. Chau. Scott left the door to Ramona’s head open and he followed him through Subspace. Scott lures him into the house and away from her only to run into Roxy. This leads to both of his attackers fighting and her wondering if Gideons ent him “Why does no one ever belivie in me?!”
She soon realize no i’ts just unrelated and calls Scotto ut on hiding behind not having a sword and behind her being a woman, caling it a flimsy excuse. I mean she’s tring to kil lhim. It’s okay to hit an enemy combatant. Scott realizes he has to stop running... and get real with ramona leading to a truly epic, romantic and heartfelt speech and given how far he’s come and just how heartfelt it is it’s a real sign of how deep he feels. Sure we’ve seen genuine chemstiry between the two.. but htis moment is a shit.. from a simple relationship.. into true love.
I may of only had a few but Relationships are not easy, They take work, they take time, they take patience and theyt ake love.. but if your willing to work with someone, look past some flaws and help them with the rest.. then it’s worth it. And Scott has finally realized it and for the first time in a while is running TOWARDS something difficult, actually working on this relationship and talking with his partner instead of running finding someone else or wallowing. He’s truly grown up. While he still has miles to go.. he’s taken about 50 steps forward with this. And as such given the kind of unvierse we’re in, as Ramona is genuinely touched by it he levels up a glowing sword with a heart shaped hilt coming out of his chest.. and realizing what’s happening he pulls it out....
So Scott faces off with roxy and in an awesomly short battle, their sords clash.. and he bisects her.
Scott then honestly talks down Mr Chau who leaves after a nod, and Ramona tells Scott she loves him two. The two make out and all is well.
One make out fades into another, as we cut to Scott moving in with Kim and Blockhead’s help. Well kinda they only had one box but they owed him one. He and wallace comiserate over the end of their time as roomies. They’ll always be friend but it’s truly the end of an era. Also Wallace gets off another bit of dickery as he’’s very glad it all worked out for scott...
Now there’s the Wallace I know and love. Dickish but just the right loveable kind of douchebag with that swagger.
Back at Knives house she’s apparenlty into somebody though who I have no idea, Mr Chau give sher his blessing and she.. apparenlty doesen’t know chinese. I dunno. As I said her subplot this go round was her weakest overall.
And so we end with the whole gang gathered to see Lisa off. It’s a REALLY nice shot, and one of the only times Wallace is seen with the Sex Bomb omb side of the group. Oh sure he goes to their shows and what not, but generally their never in the same vincinity so while there’s no interaction I still find this neat. Seriously the whole main cast is there, it’s a really lovely shot
Also Jason and Hollie.. who are getting awfully chummy. Whu Oh. And of course Craphole and Mouth Face are as likeable as ever.
So we jsut get a genuinely nice sene. Except Stephen and Julie reconciling. Fuck that. Please move on. And as everyone fondly wishes Lisa adeu and wish she stuck arond the res tof the series we end on Scott and Ramona snuggling, Scott asking her her birthday and finding out she’s 24, and they both will be come september. Scott wishes this moment could last.
They probperly snuggle as the volume ends on a high.
Final Thoughts:
Yeah.. Gets it Together is, on rexamination, DEFINTELY my faviorite of the 6. Besides personal value i’ts hte best contained story, contaning lots of character development, great character moments, jokes, and EASILY the best art so far, with goregouness and creativty abounding.
There is a problem here or there: Stephen and Julie’s subplot feels underbaked, and not just because I hates them, and there are several scenes that don’t further plot or character stuff. Ther’es also stuff that could’ve been expanded on.. but given this is still a pretty meaty graphic novel, it’s understandable why it wasn’t.. though it is why I’d love a streaming series since while the movie is excellent, a full series could expand on stuff from the books more Brian simply didn’t have time for. Knives also didn’t get a lot to do.
But their drowned out by tons of great decisions: Lisa was a wonderful additoin to the cast and I genuinely wish she’d stuck around, adding in some energy, blending well with the Sex Bomb Omb crowd, and having great dynamics with everyone and her arc with Scott is heartbreaking,knowing she can’t have him but wanting him anyway having never gottne proper closure on the man she’s always wanted. She’s a heartbreaking character and its nice to see her end in a decent place and on good terms with Scott, having let him go for both thier sakes.
And while Lisa is a highlight everyone is on their a game here for the most part apart from knives, girl hitler, and captain dumbass: Scott grows signfigantly but is funny as hell, Wallace has an intresting arc trying to nudge Scott out without being overt about it, scared to really confront him, Kim is in a happy and serene place for once and it shows. The villians are also intresting: While Mr Chau is a tad underbaked, he’s sitll a cool imposing presence. I do think he shoudl’ve had more to do with the plot.. but is still just so freaking cool it papers over that and him just.. disappearing after this like poor Lisa.
Roxy is far more intresting, having clearly more going on than we see and while I wish we’d got her backstory, she’s easily the most engaging of the exes, being the only one to actively compete with Scott (All her and ramona end up doing is making out a little it turned out), and have bigger stakes than just “The glasses wearing douche asked me to beat up my exes boyfriend and I was like alright.
All in all Gets it Together is really magical, the series high point, and just damn fun and it was a pleasure to go through
Next Month on Scott Pilgrim: It all falls down as we take a look into what once was my least faviorite Album, vs the unvierse. Two perfect assholes try and murder scott with Robutts, his relationship and band crumble and things get sad so very very sad.
Next on this blog: More LIlo and Stitch! The Proud Family come to Kauai and get into a fight with our heroes. Also wizard kelly... who if nothing else is now far more tolerable now i’ve had to spend another volume with the wicked bitch of the west. Touche universe touche. See you at the next rainbow.
#scott pilgrim#ramona flowers#wallace wells#roxanne richter#knives chau#stephen stills#julie power#mr chau#stacey pilgrim#neil nordgraf#young neil#comics#oni press#scotrospective#lisa miller#kim pine#jospeh
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hii, so i was wondering if you could write something about y/n and gray being in a long relationship but they end up breaking up for some reason and a month or two later rumours start about y/n seeing someone else which are not true but g believes them. and then they end up seeing each other at a party or something and theres a lot of sexual tension between them, so they end up fucking and g is being v possessive, so later y/n explains it all to him and they figure out that they can’t be without each other okay yeah this is a mess, hope you find it interesting enough to write it lol thaanks!!
Holy shit this is long, I’ll do my best:) Ty for submitting this<3 I’m gonna skip the smut tho because I’m not good at it LMAO
warnings- angst, fluff, cursing
You rolled your eyes at your phone, seeing yet another tea account on instagram creating some stupid rumor that you’re seeing someone else, solely because there was a male voice in the background of a story you posted on snapchat. The voice was your brother.
The truth is, you could never move on, and if you did, it would take months. Your previous boyfriend, Grayson, was the love of your life. You were almost certain he was the one for you. You had been together for almost 2 years- he was your first for everything. First kiss, first time, first serious relationship, etc. However, Grayson ended things abruptly once fans found out that you two were dating.
Grayson himself wasn’t exactly sure why he broke up with you; he really did love you, but at the time he was only thinking about his career and reputation, something he did too often to admit. He was too afraid that the numbers would die, that his fans wouldn’t accept you and in turn stop supporting Ethan and him. As stupid as it sounds, it has happened before.
Your stomach fluttered, your heart suddenly beating too fast, a sign to stop thinking about him. Your friend had made it very clear to you that Grayson was not worth it and that you deserved better- which you did agree with, however, even though he hurt you, you could still only ever see yourself with him and only him.
-
Grayson adjusted the sleek black louis vuitton belt on his green pants, silently wishing he could just stay inside in sweatpants with no shirt. He stood up, walking to his closet to grab his signature scent perfume, quickly spraying it over his chest and torso, as well as his wrists. He walked out of his room, seeing Kristina and Ethan standing all prepared by the door.
“You ready to go?” Ethan asked, referring to a new years party that they’d been invited to by one of their youtuber friends (again pretend covid does not exist).
What neither of them knew was that you would also be attending as a plus one to Adele, the twin’s assistant. Despite the fact that Adele still worked for them daily, you still remained friends because she was the only one who hadn’t ditched you after your breakup.
Ethan left to go use the bathroom, not before being scolded by Kristina and Grayson for not going while they were getting ready. Grayson sat down on the double sided couch, leaning back and going onto instagram to entertain himself. He ended up going through his tags, something he rarely ever did. However, this time, noticing a screen recording of your snapchat story was being reposted constantly. Hooked by your name, he clicked on the post, almost immediately regretting it as he read the caption.
“Grayson Dolan’s ex- girlfriend, Y/n Y/l/n posted this video at a restaurant with an unknown male voice in the background. Could she be moving on? Thoughts?”
Grayson’s night was instantly ruined. Grayson was upset you could move on so quickly, he couldn’t even look at another girl without thinking of your beautiful face. His heart clenched in his chest, making his body erupt into an uncomfortable sweat. He was no longer in the mood to party. But of course, right as he was about to go back to his room to change and go to bed, Ethan came out of the bathroom, ushering Grayson up and out of the house.
-
The stench of vodka consumed your nose, causing it to scrunch up in disgust. You definitely were not fond of drinking, you had drank before in high school and it only ever caused problems. When you met Grayson, he showed you that you didn’t need drugs and alcohol to have fun, and ever since, you hadn’t touched a single drop of it.
Adele rushed you through the crowd of drunk adults, claiming she was gonna find you two a ‘spot’ to chill out with much less people. She led you to a secluded part of the massive house, a room with a couch and a table, and on the table was ‘cards against humanity’ a game you hadn’t played in years. On the couch sat Juanpa, Mando, Ethan, Kristina, and Grayson.
Your breath got caught in your throat, and apparently Adele noticed, because she turned to you before breathing out a “I had no idea he’d be here, I promise,” but you knew she was lying. You just rolled your eyes, going to sit in between her and Juanpa at the end of the sofa.
You felt a pair of eyes staring at you, so you looked up to notice a pair of hazel orbs gazing at you. You gulped, avoiding Grayson’s eyes. You excused yourself, going to the bar to get a coke.
You poured the coke into a red solo cup, writing your name onto it in sharpie so no one drinks from it. As you screwed the cap back on the liter, a firm hand approached your shoulder.
“Hey,” Grayson whispered.
You turned around quickly. “Hi,” you said awkwardly.
“How are you?” He asked. You shrugged, taking a sip of your drink.
“Could be better, I’ve just been catching up on school. I’ve been working towards my bachelors degree,” you explained, quickly spilling information. That was something you’d always been insecure about; you always thought you talked too much about anything and everything. Grayson thought it was adorable.
He smiled. “That’s good. Ethan and I have been working on some new projects. We are working on bath items for Wakeheart,” he informed, referring to his scent company with his twin.
You just nodded, taking another sip.
“I fucked up, Y/n,” Grayson spoke suddenly.
“What do you mean?” You asked confused.
“I fucked everything up. You were the best thing to ever happen to me, and I fucking ruined it. I’m so fucking sorry,” he spoke, quickly rushing all his words out.
“Grayson,” you sighed, putting your cup down on the counter.
“No, Y/n, listen to me. You mean so much to me, and I was such a fucking idiot for letting you go. If I could take it all back, I would do so in an instant.” He explained.
“Grayson, you had months to apologize. You broke me. Why are you just now telling me this?” You questioned.
“I have no idea. I was nervous, I guess, because I know that you wouldn’t take any bullshit excuse. I don’t have any excuses, I have no clue why I did what I did. I love you so fucking much Y/n, and I always will.”
Instead of responding, you just grabbed his jawline, leaning in to plant a passionate kiss onto his lips. He quickly kissed back, wrapping his arms around your waist. He pulled away, grabbing your arm before walking you to a room down the hallway.
-
You woke up to the sun shining through the plain white curtains, looking to the left to notice Grayson’s sleeping naked body spooning you. You smiled softly, turning to give him a kiss on his forehead. He grunted, stretching his arms before gently opening his eyes.
“Good morning,” you whispered, leaning in to press a peck to his lips. He soflty hummed, pulling away, bringing you into his chest.
“Good morning angel,” he spoke. “Can we talk?”
“Already? We just woke up,” you giggled.
“I know, but it’s important,” he said sternly. You hummed in acceptance, putting all your attention onto the man in front of you.
“Are you seeing anyone? Because theres this video going around of you and some guy, and I don’t want to intrude if you are seeing someone,” he whispered.
You snorted, looking up at him.
“Grayson. That was my brother,” you informed, watching his face twist in realization. He laughed, pulling you in even tighter.
“Good, because I want you all to myself.”
This was trash ok bye
#grayson dolan#grayson dolan smut#grayson dolan blurb#grayson dolan fanfic#dolan twins#ethan dolan#my writing
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hq as my discovery weekly | part one
warnings: this is completely sfw, combo of fluff and angst
characters included: kenma, akaashi, oikawa, suna, koganegawa, ushijima, bokuto, kuroo, hinata, kita, terushima, iwaizumi, osamu, kageyama, sakusa
a/n: this was a random idea i thought of but i think it’ll be really cute haha. maybe you guys’ll find some new songs in the process! totally encourage anyone to use this idea if they want cus this was super fun to write!
playing... one through fifteen / sixteen through thirty
↪ “cotton candy lemonade" by blu detiger: kenma kozume
i've been up too long, something's wrong / watch the rising sun / turning all my nights to days
i've been on my own, come find me now / i'm lonely to the bone / but I don't feel so low when you're around / let's run away from home
you'll bе my kaleidoscope, my color in this life / watching thе world fade away
kenma is not the most extroverted and he’s in his head a lot, so he’s someone that might not always see the ‘color’ in things that exist around him. but when it comes to you, well, you’re someone that makes him look up from his screen a little longer than usual.
↪ “love affair” by umi: akaashi keiji
don't overthink this is love / maybe it's just a crush
i hope what I feel is enough / maybe this is just lies
i wanna know how to feel, what to feel, what's right / i never know / 'cause when it gets real, I just run away / and hide from you
akaashi gets anxiety. he used to be certain about a lot of things—his intelligence, his skill, his happiness, but most important to him was his feelings for you. he’s overthinking again, he knows it, but he’s getting an uncontrollable itch that maybe this is all in his head; he doesn’t love you, he just think he does. but when you’re in his arms, breathing even and eyes fluttered shut, he remembers what you always told him: it doesn’t matter what he knows, it matters what he feels. and he feels like the luckiest man alive.
↪ “coke” by iii addicts, danice: oikawa tooru
come closer, i been eyeing you from way over / so it's time i come for some closure
had to let her know that you could lick this / shake it up, it's gonna probably gon' bust
why, tell me why / why am i not satisfied / every time i cross that line / i feel it, i feel it
oikawa feels like tantalus: a man constantly reaching for a goal just out of reach, straining his muscles and screaming his voice hoarse just for a glimpse of an unattainable destiny. he’s desperate to get ahead, and while he may be running at top speed at all times, the finish line doesn’t seem to be getting any closer. his worst fear is that, some time he’ll slow his pace and look back and realize he hasn’t gotten very far at all.
↪ “baby powder” by jenevieve: suna rintaro
i'll put up with you babe / there's somethings I won't take / baby don't feel me false / yeah that turns me off
you're making me so high now / you're everything I'd ever want / you're keeping me so dry now / you're everything I'd never want uh
plastic on the floor but it ain't for me / ima go up to the place that i'd rather be
suna is straightforward. he won’t deal with your bullshit, and he learns that you won’t deal with his either, which makes you so appealing. when he starts letting more and more of you in, he feels you slipping through his fingers. you wanted to be friends, so you treat him as one. he doesn’t remember when he started wanting more.
↪ “chandelier (instrumental version)” by paquin: koganegawa kanji
instrumental so no lyrics lol
koganegawa is bubbly. he’s a bouncer: he bounces between social circles, bounces colors behind his eyes, and bounces back after adversity. he’s an amiable guy, and it’s landed him plenty of friends and opportunities, but best of all, it’s landed him you.
↪ “l-over” by u.s. girls: ushijima wakatoshi
my lover has no heart / magic moving blood around that body / he's cool to the touch / i don't see him much / but when I do, he does nothing for me
can you imagine trying to get / some satisfaction out of a stone?
spare me any talk of your future life / i don't know what I'll do without you
ushijima is stubborn. he’s deadset on achieving his goals for the future, and if you can’t work with them, you better work around them. you’re tired of how he grounds you; you thought it was a blessing at first, having a guy that knew what he wanted and would always act as a constant in your life, but you’ve started to see that he’s not a lighthouse anymore, he’s an anchor. he’s an anchor that’s chaining you to the ocean floor and will drown you if you, even for a second, stop kicking your legs to stay afloat.
↪ “magic!” by リアムMAZE1981: bokuto koutarou
and when you smile at me that way / well you can warm the coldest day / it's magic
and all i have to do is think of you / to make the music start to play / then i dance down the street / and the people I meet stop and say hey hey
and when you want me you just clap your hands / and I'll be with you right away / then we'll float on a breeze / while the leaves in the trees softly say hey hey / magic ways, my friend / you love the girl with magic ways and it's true / i might as well give in
bokuto is bright. he tramps around the world with the light of the sun illuminating his face. there is nothing in the universe that could ever drag him down, especially not with you around. you’ve cast some kind of spell on him, he’s sure of it, because your very presence makes him certain that he’s immortal. he must be, because when he’s with you, he’s withstanding the heat of a thousand suns that erases the darkness in every shadow, corner, and crevice of his life.
↪ “i hope that u think of me” by pity party (girls club): kuroo tetsuro
i hope that you dream of me baby / nightmares are what dreams are baby i-i-i / i think I'm fallin' out of love
you tell me that it's easy to be / you tell me that it's easy to be with me but you lie-i-i / why do you lie all the time?
kuroo is focused. he takes note of everything when he’s working on a task, down to dotting the ‘i’s and crossing the ‘t’s. he often finds himself with tunnel vision, unable to think of anything but the current responsibility at the top of his every-growing to-do list. somewhere along the way, he lost track of you—must’ve loosened his grip on your hand and your fingers fell through empty space. he’d look for you, back in the void, but he’s busy. he keeps moving, unaware that you’ve turned back, walking in the opposite direction as him to find the life before him that you barely remember.
↪ “the leanover” by life without buildings: hinata shoyo
kiss me, break my mind, close the door / black steel, break my mind, close the door
if i lose you in the street / i say, i say, i say, i say, i say, i say / wassup, wassup with you? / wassup with your friends?
hinata is unfazed. he knows that, when things go bad, there’ll always be something there to right them. so when your paths diverge—maybe your schedules don’t work out, your dates get canceled, your nights home become more and more sparse—he’s not worried. not one bit. because at the end of the night, he knows that you’ll always find your way back to one another, and you’ll always greet him with open arms. and he’ll always do the same.
↪ “ladyfingers - edit” by funding secured: kita shinsuke
instrumental so no lyrics lol
kita is polished. he works hard during the day to be with you at night, dancing in little circles in the small kitchen of your shared home. he looks at you with fondness and appreciation, thanking his stars a million times over for granting him with someone like you. he’s a tree, stable in the harshest of gales, but even trees like to sway with the wind sometimes.
↪ “black madonna” by cage the elephant: terushima yuuji
makes no difference here, so let's be real / black madonna, my black flower / nowhere left to run, nowhere left to hide / you're not havin' fun, i think that you should ride
climb so high, don't hear a sound / don't you forget what goes around, comes around / climb so high, tell me how to feel
call me when you're ready to be real / black madonna, my hallelujah
terushima is hedonistic. he’s never concerned himself with thoughts of the future, or of the past, or of anything, really. all he can think about is making each moment as willing to be lived as possible. you, on the other hand, are practical, too practical in his opinion, and he wants you to let loose, lighten up a little bit. maybe in the long run, it won’t be the best idea to let him take you by the hand and on a midnight adventure, but you haven’t thought that far ahead yet. guess he’s already rubbing off on you.
↪ “mother nature’s bitch” by okay kaya: iwaizumi hajime
everybody / please give a warm welcome to / to this current mood
here i am / easy to please / here i am / okay with it
here i am / desperate for attention / here i am / being mother nature's bitch
iwaizumi is hardworking. he does the best he can with everything he tries; sometimes that amounts to something and sometimes it doesn’t. most times it doesn’t fulfill his expectations, as high as they are. when you’re around, his borderline hatred for himself disappears. when you’re there to tell him how great he’s doing, the tension in his shoulders dissipates.
↪ “smithereens” by rasharn powell, ab001: miya osamu
found my power / and my brethren / in a tussle with the world itself
see if I’m david, you’re goliath / there’s some power in defiance / put my heart in a slingshot / we been cycling away for days
searching for freedom always / likeness of an orgasm been had / empty with a peace that just don’t last / petite mort, then born again
osamu is pioneering. he opened a small business and eventually branched out, managing chains of his restaurant across the nation. it may not be a flashy job, but it’s a solid one, and a draining one. there are days of back-to-back shifts, afternoons overwhelming catering orders, and nights spent sleeping over on a cot near the kitchen. when he dreams, curled up with the smell of onigri still lingering in the air, he can only think of ‘what if’ he’d chosen another path, a path with a more obvious end, a more obvious definition of glory. but he still wakes up at dawn, conquering his own corner of the sky, knowing that his life, while it may be small, is not insignificant.
↪ “must be” by lou phelps: kageyama tobio
must be the henny on the ice / must be the diamonds that I buy / might be the shit that I write / whatever a n**** do and say, that's what I like
i'm on the cloud as i walk the front door / that's a boost, that's true, that's loo
yeah, um, i'mma need my space / 'cause you's a bum-bum, can't be standing next to me, uh / forgive me for my sins / don't tell me this is wrong if it feels right
kageyama is cocky. he’s good at what he does, amazing, actually, and he sure as hell knows it. he’s surrounded by people that make him better, people that he makes better, and he can’t think of a place he’d rather be. he’s on his way to carve his way into the moon and he’s not going to tolerate anyone that wants to keep him on earth.
↪ “jealous” by eyedress: sakusa kiyoomi
you could have anyone you want / why would you want to be with me? / you know, I'm nothing special
don't tell me about your problems / if you're not trying to solve them / don't ask me for my help
sakusa is independent. he’s not one to see himself as part of someone else’s orbit, opting to act like a random rock, floating in space with no origin and no destination. he’s worried that, if he gets too close to you, he’ll end up getting drawn in by your gravity and either crash land or burn up. neither seems appealing, and the idea of a safe encounter hasn’t even crossed his mind, so he’s going to keep moving on an endless trek towards the stars.
#haikyuu!!#haikyu#hq#haikyuu fluff#haikyuu angst#kenma#akaashi#oikawa#suna#koganegawa#ushijima#bokuto#kuroo#hinata
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