#if he’s gonna come at me and to our landlords about the noise or whatever he can literally suck my dick

[virtualmosshroom]

briefly took my cat outside for a matter of two minutes to watch the birds and then i swear i heard an iphone camera shutter sound coming from my asshole neighbours balcony directly next/attached to mine and then the birds started going over to his side of the balcony like he was there

[jinpanman]

All I Want Is You(ngi)

pairing: yoongi x reader

wc: 2.5k

genre: pg15, fluff, established relationship

warnings: alcohol consumption

summary: Yoongi takes his baby out to sing karaoke the night before Christmas with the two Seoks. It’s a riot with drunken caroling (read: hollering) but he's so in love that he doesn't care.

a/n: My part of the SNOWLLAB with a super lovely bunch. Pls do yoself a favor and read everyone’s stories when they drop cause I promis it’ll be amazing. <3 A big thank you to Willow for pulling this crew together. A big thank you to Willow for the prompt inspo. A big thank you to Willow for creating the banner. A big thank you to Willow for beta reading my lil story and fixing up all the lil pieces and praising me….. So basically this is one big love letter to Willow. Thanks for being the best and most amazing little holibean 💙💚

sequel: Will You(ngi) Marry Me? 

Here he is now, currently regretting his inability to ever say no to your whims as he watches you skip with a couple of slips and twisted ankles along the way to the front of the small darkened room and snatch the mic off its stand. You’re bent over the karaoke machine, clumsily swiping the screen to find the song you want. After several more swipes, you squeal excitedly... and then he hears it. The reason for your excitement. The all too familiar jingling of church and sleigh bells elicits an embarrassed groan from him. You turn to face your small audience and after taking an unreasonably deep breath, you close your eyes and sing.

“I… don’t want a lot for Christmas. There is just one thing I need…”

“Sing it girl!” Hoseok cheers, thrusting a newly opened glass bottle into the air.

“Aaall I want for Christmas…”

“WHAT DO YOU WANT Y/N?!” Hoseok shrieks over the music.

“...iiiiiiss YOOOOUU...NGIII!!!” You hunch over to belt out the last note and your hair falls over your face but he doesn’t need to see you to know your features are scrunched up in order to sing past your lung capacity.

Yoongi very much wants to curl in the corner to hide from your unabashed love, but alas you, Hoseok, and Seokjin would never let him live it down, so instead he sits there trying (and failing) to fight the shy smile that overtakes his features. Even as the music grows louder, Yoongi can hear Seokjin laughing and slapping Hoseok’s thighs on the other side of the booth. 

Oh god. It was a bad idea. He knew it was a bad idea to have agreed to go out to karaoke with Seokjin and Hoseok, but you had begged and begged him and he was but a weak man when it came to you.

“I should have remembered it’s never a normal holiday with this crew.” He moans into his hands.

A hand roughly pats him on his shoulder. He peeks through his fingers to the portrait of a grinning Jin, now beside him. The man extends an unopened bottle of alcohol out to him.

“You sure you don’t want a drink, man? I know you drove but I don't mind chauffeuring you both home and taking a cab from there.”

“Nah, I’m good. We can’t both be stupid drunk when we get home. We might burn the house down then you’d have to waste even more money to come collect our bodies.”

Jin snorts at his remark. “Touché.”

The two of them lay back against the bench cushion and watch with horrified amusement as a wobbly Hoseok makes his way to you. The rambunctious (and very buzzed) duo up on the little stage drop to their knees and Yoongi balks at the way the two of you obscenely shake your butts to the very cheery tune of Mariah Carey’s biggest holiday hit. Sober Hoseok was always a delight. Even Yoongi didn’t mind busting out a few moves every now and then with him. Drunk Hoseok, though, he was a different animal altogether. Insatiable, he was, and he was the perfect hype man for drunk you.

Yoongi makes eye contact with you and now that you’ve got his attention, you reach out your free hand towards him and beckon him over with the curl of your finger. His heart goes a-hammering away without his permission. Yoongi, a fool in love, lets himself be pushed out of his seat and like a man lost at sea, he’s pulled closer and closer to the siren who sings the song meant to be his undoing. 

Except that the siren is you and your slurred singing is not at all alluring or seductive. He smiles at your pitiful attempt at fluttering your lashes at him. Despite your inability to entice him with your song and your sensual form, he still jumps overboard. He jumps and dives headfirst into the ocean that is your freely given love. All for him. Even a horrendous, throaty snort does nothing to unwind the unintentional spell you've cast on him. He faintly hears the two men squealing like children behind him, but all he can hear, all he can see is you.

“Make my wish come true! All I want for Christmas is you! Yoongi, baby!”

He can’t help but giggle at the way you serenade him, with your terribly exaggerated airy voice, but he loves it all the same. He loves you and all the surprises and jolly that comes with loving you.

Both you and Hoseok giggle at each other as Yoongi and Seokjin try to guide the two of you out of the building. Hoseok clings to his partner but his free hand is held tight in your grip, much to Yoongi’s chagrin. You’re both so wobbly and walking together is no help to either him or Jin. 

It’s definitely gotten chillier and Yoongi is grateful that you didn’t forget your winter coat tonight. You’re bundled and cosy beside him, with the hood wrapped snug over your head. Your eyes are still glassy and your breathing hasn’t quite recovered from your exuberant singing competition against Seokjin, but that’s okay. You know Yoongi will take care of you. That’s the only reason why you were able to let go so freely tonight anyway, and he takes pride in knowing that you trust him so entirely. He hoists you up into a more comfortable standing position and nods to Jin.

“Merry Christmas, hyung.”

“Merry Chrysler, Yoongichi. Drive home safely!”

Yoongi grimaces and mutters under his breath but Jin merely smiles bigger. With a final wave, he pulls a swaying and incoherent Hoseok close to his side and they walk to their awaiting cab. He would have waited until they got into the car, but you’ve started blowing raspberries on his neck. While he normally wouldn’t mind having your saliva on him, he can feel remnants of soggy pretzel bits flying out of your mouth onto his exposed skin and that is more than enough to kill what could have been a flirtatious mood. He pushes your head away, eliciting a squeaky whine.

“Ah, stop. That’s gross. C’mon, let’s go home.”

It wasn’t too much trouble getting you in and out of the car, but now that you have arrived home, you refuse to step inside your house. You cling onto him like a lifeline, as if you’ll fall to the ground and drown in the air that surrounds you.

“I don’t wanna go home yet, Yoongiii. I feel soooo gross!” You whine, heavily emphasizing on how gross you felt.

“That’s why we’re gonna go inside and shower, baby. So you’re not gross.”

“Oh my goood!” You sob into his shoulder. “You think I’m gross!”

Yoongi sighs and looks into the night sky, pressing his lips tightly together into a forced smile. You continue to wail out in the open and he all but clamps your mouth shut with a press of his finger against your lips.

“Do you wanna go for a walk instead?” You immediately shut up and nod eagerly. “Okay, let’s go walk, honey.”

He knows you’ll complain about the cold in a few minutes, but he’ll deal with that future Y/N when she arrives. They’ve walked a short distance around the complex when he suddenly feels a drop of cold wetness against his cheek. He looks up and notices the flakes of white falling from the sky. He squeezes your hand and points your interlaced hands up.

“Baby, it’s snowing.”

“Oh, shit it’s snowing! Okay.” You perk up at having heard that and untangle yourself from him. “Shit. Let me, let me uh, wait. Here.”

Before he could even begin to guess what you were about to do, you plop yourself right onto the cold grass. You shriek at the burst of cold against your legs but like the diva you think you are, you don’t get up and instead pose for him. Your hands are positioned entirely too close around your face that your eyes are barely visible and your skirt is hiked so far up your hunched legs that he can see your panties. You’re wearing those adorable brown bear ones he knows you think are the most comfortable pair of undies you’ve ever owned. Cute.

“Okay. I’m ready. Always gotta be ready for the camera.”

The noise that comes out of his mouth is entirely uncontrollable and he all but melts at the sight of you. The fairy lights your landlords put up around the apartments shine brightly in the night and illuminate the flakes of snow that fall from the sky. It’s a beautiful sight, but you shine the brightest. The light hovering above you highlights your subtle cheekbones and the combination of the falling snow and lights creates a sort of glowing halo around you.

You are, without a doubt, the most beautiful person he has ever laid eyes on.

The most beautiful and also the most extra because of course your first instinct would be to pose for him. That was how you met, after all. He had been out practicing street photography a few years ago when he bumped into you. You had the decency to be politely curious why he was taking pictures of strangers and after he shared his project, you agreed (even though he never asked) to let him take pictures of you. You started posing immediately and even walked around the block to pose with whatever you found interesting, whether it was the wall of a building or a newspaper stand. He probably loved you then. He definitely loves you now.

It’s too bad he doesn’t have his camera with him. His phone will have to do, so he pulls it out, angles himself and the phone at just the right spot, and takes several shots. Your eyes have shut close again, the trickle of soft snow cascading down onto your face and hair. Oh, the way his smile only widens as you bat your eyes in an attempt to blink the snowflakes away. He waves his phone and you suddenly remember what you were here for and you smile for the camera. Smile for him. 

“Sit down and take a picture with me!” You pout and pat the space next to you.

Who is he to say no? Several very blurry photos later (because what’s the point of getting drunk if you weren’t going to take blurry pics?), you were finally done with the cold. You cup his face and kiss his pink-tipped nose.

“You’re cold, Yoongi. Let’s go home.”

“Mmm… Let’s go.”

He takes your hand in his and tucks both your hands inside his coat pocket, knowing full well that you have a coat of your own with its own pockets. It’s true, his face is somewhat numb from the cold of the night, but he is quickly heating up wholly by the warmth of your shared love that the two of you have nurtured and tended to together.

“I hope you had fun tonight, baby.”

“I always have fun when I’m with you, Yoongi-poo.”

“So… what do you want most for Christmas?” He wonders if you’ll accidentally spill what you really want for Christmas but not even drunk you would sell yourself out to him.

“Didn’t I literally just sing ‘all I want for christmas is Yoooongiii’? Did I not make it clear enough?”

His lips spread into a bright upward curl and he giggles at the way you stare at him as if he was stupid for even asking such a question. As if it was obvious what you wanted. Of course, he knew you would say that. He honestly just wanted to hear you say it again. And... oh no. Now you’re singing again. Hollering, more like. Ah, well. It’s only for one night. He pulls you closer beside him and sings along with you, albeit in a much quieter tone.

Your apartment is back in eyeview and he pulls his phone out to check the time. It’s only a minute left until Christmas. He continues to watch the time pass by the seconds until there are only fifteen seconds left before midnight.

Then he starts counting out loud, in a teasing lilt that he knows is sure to pique your curiosity.

“What exactly are you counting down to?” You ask, puzzled.

You’ve sobered down quite a bit now, and you were ready to go sleep. He ignores you though and continues to count. By 5 seconds, you’ve stopped walking, although you’re still mumbling about how rude it was of him to ignore you. He reaches up to tuck your hair back behind your ears to get a better look at your face. Your stupidly beautiful face.

“I’m granting your Christmas wish in three… two… one... Merry Christmas, Y/N.”

He cups your face. It’s cold, and he makes a mental note to make sure to warm you up with a bath once you’re home. You gasp a second later and wrap your arms around him, staring up at him with a wide grin plastered on your face.

“Ohmygoddidyoubuymeapuppy??!!!”

He snorts and it’s out of sheer self restraint that he doesn’t go on an hour long tirade on the terrible idea of buying animals as holiday gifts and how he refuses to ever partake in it. He instead channels that energy into squishing your cheeks together so you don’t say anything else that could potentially ruin the mood he’s trying to set.

“Baby?”

“Whuh?”

“You make me really happy, you know that?” His voice softens up and he gently rubs your cheeks with his thumbs.

Your wide, wide eyes are still staring at him, unblinking, but he’s been under the scrutiny of your ridiculously lubricated eyes for long enough that he’s unbothered.

“And even though you’re still kinda loopy and you definitely spilled beer on me tonight, I still want you to know…”

He pauses for dramatics and chuckles when your hands fly up to grasp his hands that still cup your face.

“Yes?” You plead with him to carry on.

“I love you. I love you so much my heart is fit to burst.”

The soft inhale of breath is not lost on him and he grins at you. The sweet smile and blush that quickly overtakes your features is easily the best gift you could ever give him this Christmas.

“Oh my god. I think my heart just nutted.”

He snorts and sighs in defeat. Right. Only you could say something like that and still make his heart leap.

“I love you too. Can we go home now, though? My butt’s cold.”

“But I haven’t even gotten to the best part,” he teases.

Before you could ask what the best part was, he draws your face to his and presses his lips against yours. The warm exhale as you part your lips for him comes as a welcome surprise. You giggle into the kiss and pull him closer against you.

“You just kissed me,” you whispered as if he had committed a scandalous act.

“Baby, I always kiss you.”

“You’re right.” You grab hold of his hand and walk briskly towards your home, tugging a smiling Yoongi behind you. “Let’s go home so you can kiss me some more!”

a/n 2.0: HELLO THERE FRIENDO. how are you. happy holidays or i guess, happy day if you’re reading this in like, the summer time or something :”) thank you for reading this. did you like it? penny for your thoughts? (i will give u a pretty one forreal) isn’t yoongi the sweetest most amazing boyfriend eveerrrrr plz gush over him with me PLS

[angryschnauzer]

Imagine you're Henry's neighbour, you've heard his conquests, have to admit you're a little jealous as they all sound happy. But it make you wonder if they are faking it.

You chat to friend on the phone whilst in the garden, not realising he can hear you.

The knock on your door later that evening was unexpected but when you see your hot neighbour there you have no idea why.

Until he offers to show you just why those other women were so happy

Okay so i decided to continue my PE Teacher Henry series with this one, previous parts below:

Thigh Riding,  Jingle My Bells , An Epic Quickie

Warnings: Fluff, a little bit of Angst, talk of breakups, young idiots in love.

The Boy Next Door

The sun was shining and the sounds of late summer could be heard as the four of you settled on dining chairs that had been pulled out onto the ramshackle patio so you could celebrate moving into the shared house for your last year of Uni and doing Post-Graduate for teaching. Opening a chilled bottle of Echo Falls Rose Zinfandel, Marie sloshed it into the four waiting glasses, handing on to each of you;

“Here’s to just one more year of Uni, then we can be set free onto the world of teaching education rather than being taught!”

The four of you had all done your degree’s together, and by the end of your 3rd year you had moved into a shared house to save on halls of residence costs. When you’d all decided to attend the same Uni for your Post Graduates qualification it was the easy choice to decide to rent together, and you’d manage to snag a gorgeous multi level Victorian town house to rent for the year. The landlord had admitted a few things needed to be updated, but it was a short walk from campus so in exchange for a reduction in rent you’d found the perfect place. 

By the time the 3rd bottle of Zinfandel was opened you were all pleasantly merry, and from the advantage point of the raised patio where the garden dipped away as it went downhill you could see the road that ran alongside the house next door that yours was connected to. The corner house had looked a lot more appealing, but the rent had been considerably higher, so the compromise was that you’d rented the one away from the street corner. Just at that moment another Removals Truck pulled up alongside the corner house, and you could hear various cars park behind it, the sound of young male voices easily heard. It was obvious you had a group of male students living next door.

-

Three weeks into term and you were sat at the desk in your room, glaring at the wall in front of you. No matter how hard you tried to concentrate on how to teach fronted adverbials, the screams of the woman obviously on the verge on an orgasm from the guys house next door just reminded you of your lack of love life. With a sigh you set your pencil down and headed downstairs, away from the obvious now orgasming woman.

“Oh hey Hunny, thought you were catching up on some English Lit stuff?” Marie smiled as she poked at an egg she was attempting to fry on the small electric cooker.

“I was… until there was another screamer next door”

“Oh… another one?” she winced, knowing that from the 2nd day the guys next door had moved in, the one that was in the room next to you had been able to bed a different girl about every three nights or so.

You grabbed a glass of water and stepped outside, letting the sunshine warm your face. Opening your Motorolla Flip Phone you scrolled through your texts, smiling as you saw messages from last years classmates, checking in on how everyone was doing. You were vaguely aware of Marie coming outside, setting a plate down on the patio wall and the click of her lighter as she lit a Royals cigarette.

“You still miss him, don’t you?” she asked.

Pulling your gaze up to her, your eyes immediately growing wet. Nodding you swallowed the lump in your throat. Wrapping your arms around your body you looked out over the garden;

“I know… it’s stupid. Its been two years, and it was a mutual decision to part ways, but Henry was my first, you know? He was my first everything. We got together when we were sixteen, we made it through our A-Levels together, we even managed a year doing long distance when we didn’t get into the same Uni…”

“What about that dude… Chris? Didn’t you two have a thing a while back”

You let out a laugh;

“He loves his politics too much to commit to a relationship. If i had to listen to one more rant about Tony Blair whilst we tried to go out for dinner i would have screamed…”

You looked at Marie who was now halfway through her fried egg sandwich whilst her cigarette sat smouldering in the petunias that had mostly gone over for the season, and she gave you the ‘sad puppy eyes’ as she chewed. You let out a grunt of frustration;

“FUCK! I just want to not feel like this anymore! I’ve spent two years moping over Henry-fucking-Cavill, i just want to be able to get on with my post graduate and move on with my life without being constantly reminded of his skills every time i try to do any work in my room!”

-

Henry smiled and waved as Monica, no Michelle, no… wait… whoever made their way down the front steps of the house, closing the door with a sigh of relief. 

“Another one dude?”

Looking at where Anthony was coming down the stairs he nodded;

“Yup. Sorry about the noise” 

He followed his housemate through to the kitchen, switching the kettle on. He was now used to Henry’s conquests screaming the house down, but it was still fun to taunt Henry about the noise they would make;

“So, this was was faking it again?”

Henry looked at him in mock-shock;

“I can assure you none of them fake it”

Chucking teabags into two mugs Anthony chuckled;

“I know man. But i also know you’re still trying to fill the void she left. Its been two years man”

“Yeah, but she’s long gone, i’m her past, i’d only drag her down. She’s probably got some hot politics graduate about to propose to her. She wouldn’t want some dumb physical education ass like me anymore”

Handing him the strong cup of tea Anthony nodded;

“Whatever man, but i still think you should message her, you haven’t spoken in two years and you’re still hung up on her, one last try, huh?”

Heading out to the garden Henry sat on the patio wall and lit a cigarette. He’d sworn he’d never smoke again, what with being a physical education student, but there were still times when he buckled to his nerves and stresses. Lighting up he inhaled deeply, enjoying the quiet of the garden before he heard his neighbours come out onto the patio next door. Through the trellis covered in a thick layer of ivy he could hear everything, as although it did a great job at giving visual privacy, the clear voices of the young women next door carried easily through the greenery.

Ten minutes later Henry almost knocked Anthony over as he bolted up the stairs;

“Sorry man, got something to do… gotta get my Blackberry”

-

The next morning you were on your way to class when your phone chimed, looking at the screen you felt your blood run hot then cold at the name on the display;

“What does he want?” you muttered to yourself, before with a sigh you pushed the phone back into your bag, deciding to look at it later once you had finished your class. The last thing you needed to get your mind off of Henry was a text from him.

-

Making your way out to the patio, you threw your bag onto the sofa and smiled as you saw the rest of the girls already out enjoying the last of the days sunshine;

“Heeeyyyyy there she is” Janelle called, sipping from a bottle of Becks

“Is there any more of those? I need a drink”

Handing you a bottle Marie smiled as you smashed the cap off using the top brick of the wall, sipping the tart bubbles of Lager you let out a sigh;

“Henry texted me today”

The three girls went quiet before Jo spoke;

“What did he say?”

“I don’t know. I didn’t read it. I’m trying to get over him, the last thing i need is getting my hopes up. He’s hundreds of miles away, no doubt doing something super sporty that only makes him look even better, probably coaching kids rugby or something. He’s not gonna want some boring English teacher wannabe like me”

At the mere mention of the word ‘Wannabe’ the others broke into a poor rendition of the Spice Girls song, unaware of the silent frustration happening the other side of the ivy trellis.

-

After one beer you’d excused yourself, deciding to take advantage of the quiet to get some coursework done, thankful that your room neighbour on the other side of the wall wasn’t entertaining any female guests again, but you had no idea how long that would last so the sooner you got some work done the better. With your bedroom window open you got back to work, getting in a full hour before your phone chimed again with another text. Glancing at the little screen on the front you scowled, another text from Henry.

Setting the phone down you went back to your work, frowning as you struggled to concentrate, until five minutes later your phone chimed again, your eyes going wide when you saw it was yet another text from Henry;

“WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU WANT?!” you yelled at your phone.

“A REPLY!”

You sat at your desk, surely your ears were now playing tricks on you, you could have sworn you’d heard Henry’s voice. With a sigh you set your pencil down and opened your phone, reading the messages;

Received 8.46am: Hi. I know its been a long time but i’d love to call you at some point. Would be good to hear your voice. Hen. x

Received 4.55pm: Miss you. Can I call you? Hen. x

The phone beeped whilst you held it, another text coming in;

Received 4.59pm:

Look outside.

Glancing at your window you moved to it and looked out, before a voice so familiar it sent chills down your spine shouted out;

“Down here!”

-

Janelle shouted out as you flew down the stairs, Jo and Marie both staring at the blur you made as you ran past the lounge and out the front door, letting it swing on its hinges;

“Where is she going so fast?”

The three girls stood at the window and smiled as they wanted to run into Henry’s arms;

“Into her future Husband’s embrace” Marie sighed, the three watching as the young lovers fell back into each other's arms.

“Wait, is he the ‘loud’ one?” Jo asked to no-one in particular

“Unfortunately… i spoke to one of the other guys - Anthony - last week, he apologised for his housemates noises”

“Oh well… guess she can get us some ear plugs then”

[mymoonagedaydream]

Only the Good Die Young (part 8)

Summary: Things finally seemed like they were falling into place

Pairing: Biker!Bucky x y/n

Word Count: 2k

Warnings: Language, anti-religious sentiment, harmful relationship with parents, smut references, the FLOOF of it all

Author's Note: It’s the finale, goddamn I’m gonna miss all this Billy Joel stuff. Thank you so much for all the love for this series. Who knows, maybe we’ll come back to these two eventually, but for now they’ve definitely been through enough. Bless ‘em.

---

The rest of the date was surprisingly nice.

You managed to coerce Bucky back to beer after the sewer water he’d ordered had all gone, and it turned out that the restaurant took their ‘bottomless breadsticks’ promise a little too seriously, doing everything but force-feeding you by hand to get them gone.

You just couldn’t shake the feeling that something was hanging over the two of you.

After what he said, you’d tried your best to dig a little deeper, but he changed the subject pretty quickly once he realised how upset you were- and it was almost impossible to get more information out of Bucky once he’d stonewalled.

Either way, you knew you’d have to talk to him more about it soon, even if you didn’t particularly want to.

It was his face as he said it. You never wanted to see that again.

Stuffed and a little tipsy, the two of you spilled out of the restaurant and started heading home. The evening air was a chilly, but Bucky had wrapped his jacket around your shoulders before you’d even begun to feel the cold.

After walking for a while, you came to a corner you recognised, and decided to take him on a little detour.

You tugged his arm towards the turning. ‘Shall we take the long way back? We can walk along the river.’

‘Sure, but if you fall in I’m not coming in after you.’ He gave you a wide smile and snaked his arm around your waist, letting you lead him down the side street.

A comfortable silence fell as you approached the water, both of you watching the ripples distort reflections from the harbourside restaurants and bars. Reaching the edge, Bucky turned to carry on walking along the path, but you stayed in place and pulled him back.  

He moved to stand opposite you, looking a little confused as you took both his hands in yours. 

'Buck, what you said earlier, I really think we should talk more about it.'

'Nah, it’s alright. It was in the past. Like you said, things are good now and that’s all that matters.'

‘No, I didn’t mean, uh-’ Christ he was slippery, using your own words against you like that. ‘Look, maybe I shouldn’t have said that. If it’s still affecting you, it matters, and it’s good to talk about it.’

He turned his head, staring at the water, deep in thought. You didn’t let up. You brought your hands up to his face and pulled it back towards you, raising your eyebrows at him expectantly. 

He took a deep, shaky breath.

'If I keep talking, I might say something that drives you away. I don't know if I could take that.'

‘Bucky, I don’t care about your past.’ His face changed suddenly, tensing a little. You rubbed your forehead and winced, realising that your tone had been much firmer than intended. ‘That came out wrong.’

He let out a small chuckle, pulling you closer and smirking. ‘First you want me to talk, now you tell me to shut up.’

‘No, what I meant was, nothing you’ve done in the past could change my opinion of you now.’ You wound your arms around his neck. ‘Unless you were a serial killer, but even then I might let you try to convince me that they deserved it.’

‘Oh they did.’

You laughed, moving to cup his face and stroke your thumbs across his cheeks. Feeling his hands pressed against your back and staring into his glowing blue eyes, something inside you burst or erupted or... Christ, you weren’t sure, but next thing you knew your mouth was writing a cheque that you weren’t sure Bucky would want to cash.

‘I love you, Buck.’ His face dropped slightly in shock. Fuck it, you were all in now, might as well carry on. ‘Properly. Get a dog together type love. Put up with you stealing the covers all night type love. I’d even go as far as to say-’

He cut you off, pressing his lips against yours and squeezing your waist tight. You relaxed completely in his arms, not sure that you’d be able to stay on your feet if he suddenly let go, but too caught up in the moment to care.

He pulled away an inch, just for just a second, to whisper ‘I love you too. Just stop talking.’

You weren’t sure how long the two of you were standing there by the river, it was becoming increasingly easy to lose time while you were tangled up with Bucky.

The rest of the walk home was a hazy, fragmented mess of staggering for a few minutes at a time before getting distracted and clumsily fumbling at each other. You found yourselves regretting taking the long way, both of you becoming more and more impatient to get back to the privacy of the apartment, and not making it past the floor on the inside of the door when you did.

But hey, at least neither of you ended up in the river.

---

You’d found it. The perfect apartment.

It was pretty small, but more than enough for just the two of you. The beach was a couple minutes walk away, but it was a fifth floor apartment, so the front window had a sea view. It even had underground parking, so Bucky wouldn’t have to rush to the window to check on his bike every ten minutes.

He was out at the store when you came across it and you couldn’t stop yourself pacing around excitedly until he got back. You practically jumped him as soon as he came through the door, dragging him over to your laptop.

After a quick flick through the pictures, he dug his phone from his pocket. ‘It’s ours. What’s the number?’

‘Oh, well, we should probably go see it first.’

‘Nah. How bad could it be?’

You nodded slowly and let your gaze wander around his flat, lingering on the carpet stains and the patch of mould in the corner.

Yep, things were starting to make a little more sense.

‘What’s the hold up?’

Your eyes flicked back to Bucky, looking at you excitedly, phone still ready in hand. A warm smile spread across your face. Maybe it was time to take a page out of his book.

Stop thinking so much, close your eyes and jump.

Bucky made the call, you sent over all the information they needed, and then you waited. 

And waited. 

All evening, checking Bucky’s phone every ten minutes. It was like torture. 

Nothing had come through by midnight, so the two of you gave up and slunk off to bed, trying to stay optimistic about finding somewhere else but inwardly completely gutted.

---

You woke up the next day to the smell of cooking bacon and the sound of Bucky humming to himself in the kitchen. Stretching yourself across the empty bed, you could easily have slept for another couple hours, but you were too curious to see what he was up to.

Your hand found your phone on the bedside table and you checked the time, your head darting away from the pillow in shock when you saw that it was creeping up to midday.

Pulling your pyjamas on, you trudged through to the front room, seeing Bucky stood over the stove.

‘What’re you doing?’ You walked up beside him, settling into his side as he snaked his arm around you, gazing at the pile of food he was pushing around the pan.  

‘A proper breakfast, I thought we’d celebrate.’

You nodded sleepily, a little confused. ‘Celebrate what?’

He looked down at you, sporting a wide smile. Your drowsiness slowly melted away as you realised what he was talking about.

‘We got it?’

‘We got it.’

Some kind of throaty yelp noise escaped your mouth, making Bucky burst out laughing. You threw your arms around his neck, squeezing him as hard as you could, feeling tears welling up in his eyes.

When you finally let go of him, he dug his phone out of his pocket and showed you the email from the landlord.

‘Wait, this says we move in at the start of next month?’ He nodded proudly. ‘Buck, that’s two days from now.’

‘Yup. Better get packing.’

Turns out he’d already hired a van to arrive the next day and nipped out while you were asleep to buy packing boxes. You had no idea who this guy was and what he’d done with Bucky, but you weren’t complaining.

Finally, it felt like things were falling into place.

---

The drive to your new home was about an hour. 

You’d hoped the ride would be relaxing and cathartic, but you spent almost the entire time white-knuckled, gripping onto the dashboard. Bucky drove the moving van in exactly the same way as he drove his motorbike, he didn’t even seem to notice the sound of all your possessions sliding around chaotically in the back.

He finally parked up outside the apartment block and you reverted back to religion for the first time in years, thanking god that both of you survived the drive.

The building wasn’t particularly attractive, sitting in an unremarkable side street opposite a seedy looking off-license, but you still felt the excitement bubbling in your stomach as you hopped out of the van and surveyed your surroundings.

Bucky gave you a wide smile and walked towards the door, approaching a man in a cheap suit who you hadn’t even noticed. The keys were exchanged, and suit gave you a polite nod before turning and walking down the street. 

That was, quite possibly, the only easy interaction you and Bucky had ever had with a third party since you’d been together. 

You knew life was going to be a whole lot easier after leaving that fucking town, but you certainly hadn’t expected such immediate results. This was incredible. 

You grabbed a box and followed Buck up the stairs, bursting through the door into your new home. 

The first thing you noticed was the view. It was even better in person. 

You unceremoniously dropped whatever you were carrying and walked towards the window, seeing the vast ocean spread out in both directions as you got closer.

Bucky came up behind you, wrapping his arms around your waist and resting his head on your shoulder.

‘Whatta you think?’

‘I love it.’

‘It needs a bit of work.’ He briefly surveyed the walls and the ceiling. ‘I think the last people here had dogs, there’s still some-’

You swivelled round in his arms and placed your hand firmly over his mouth, feeling him smiling against your palm. ‘I don’t care. I love it.’

Bucky mumbled something into your hand. You rolled your eyes and moved it away from his face, prompting him to repeat himself.

‘Me too.’

It took a couple hours to get everything out of the van, and when you’d finished, the two of you found yourselves staring at a messy pile of boxes dumped in the middle of the living room. 

A unanimous decision was made that there was no point starting to unpack before having something to eat, even though you’d spent the entire drive shoving handfuls of doritos into each other's faces.  

---

So, for the first of many times, you and Bucky watched the sunset over the sea. 

Sitting on cardboard boxes in your cheap flat, eating pretty terrible Chinese food, with nothing in the world but a few dollars and each other. 

And it was perfect. 

---

@shawnie--jo @brilliantbellesoares @livingoffsavvyillusions @noiralei @bebeyeni @kingkassam @newyorkgoddess @sir-lili @im-squished @dancer3205 @thefallenbibliophilequote @supernaturalwintersoldier @adriannajackson @rhumphr4

---

[marvelship-oneshots]

TRAPPED TOGETHER (STUCKONY)

PART 1 OF 2

N/A AU where Steve and Bucky finally managed to move into their new apartment but it turns out that the landlord accidentally sold it to someone else as well. [2k words]

Bucky shut the door after his boyfriend finally managed to enter in their apartment. "It was about time" Bucky hissed, with a hand on his waist. Steve gently laid the boxes he was carrying on the floor, just wanting to let them go, but not knowing what was in there and essentially he didn't want to break anything. He looked at his boyfriend. "It seems to me that I was he one carrying all of those boxes" "Yeah, well, you're not the one with one arm" he said hinting at the empty sleeve of his leather jacket. Steve sarcastically rolled his eyes. "What? I carried one bag!" He said, holding the canvas bag that was hanging from his shoulder. Steve smiled and opened his arms, waiting for Bucky. Bucky put his arm around Steve's neck. Steve kissed his temple. "Home sweet home baby" "We did it, Stevey"

Bucky was putting the pillow into the pillowcase, holding one corner in his mouth, while Steve was laying on the bed trying to hold down every corner of the bed sheet when they heard the door shutting close. Bucky let go of the pillow, looking at Steve. "You heard that?" "What?" Steve asked without letting go of the sheet. "The door. Steve someone is in the house" Bucky whispered. Steve rolled his eyes and went back tucking the bed sheet under the corner of the mattress. "Steve, I'm telling you, someone broke in" "Buck, it's probably nothing" "Steeve!" Bucky whisper-screamed "Go check, pretty please" Steve got up and walked towards the door, Bucky following him as if he was a scared little children. "So much for being a soldier, huh Buck?" "Listen! You see? I have only one arm" Steve chuckled. "It seriously got to stop being the excuse for everythin-" The couple arrived in the living room and stopped. "I told you, someone broke in" whispered Bucky, hiding behind Steve. Bucky wasn't exactly tiny, or short, but Steve's shoulder were broad enough to hide him completely. "And you are...?" asked Steve, looking at the man from head to toe. He was short, very short, and rather slim. But everyone would seem tiny compared to Steve's massive figure. He had short brown hair and a nicely shaved beard. The man was wearing a tailored grey suit and an undone tie was hanging from his neck. He must have been older then the pair, but not any less charming. He was actually very handsome. "I'm Tony, I bought this apartment" Bucky and Steve looked at each other. "Uh, I'm pretty sure you did not since we bought this apartment." said the blonde, since Bucky was still partially hiding behind his boyfriend. "There must have been some kind of mistake. See, I signed the lease" said Tony showing the signed papers. Steve took the same documents that Bucky was handing him. "Yeah, we did too. See, apartment 4B" Tony checked again if he was in the right apartment and scratched his neck. "We'll call the agency in the morning" they agreed. "Uhm, I'll take the couch then" Tony said, looking at the two of them, imagining that they must have already settle in the only bedroom of the house. "Goodnight I guess" said Bucky, holding Steve's arm. Tony looked at the pair walk away. They were both handsome men. Strangely, the blond's physique was not the first thing that fought his eyes, it was the brunet's piercing blue eyes. Those were the most beautiful blue eyes he had ever seen.

"What?" screamed the trio in unison. "I'm so incredibly sorry, guys" "So, let me make things clear, you sold the same apartment TWICE, to two different clients?" asked Tony, slamming his hands on the agent's desk. The agent nodded. "And you can't refund one of us either?" "Exactly" Tony rolled is eyes walking it of the door.

"What are we gonna do Steve?" Bucky asked sitting at the kitchen table. Tony wasn't back yet. "I don't know, Buck, I don't know" "Happiness is just not for us, right?" Bucky shed a tear, Steve could hear his voice breaking. "No, no, no Buck, hey." Steve cupped his face with both hands, whipping the tear away. "Don't say that. I promised you that everything will be fine and I'll find a way out of this" Steve kissed his forehead. "I love you Buck" "To the moon and back" Bucky said, putting his hand over Steve's. The door shut close and Bucky jumped on the chair, not expecting any noise. "Uhm, hey, sorry guys" said Tony, wanting to become invisible. "Come in, it's your house too after all" finally spoke Bucky, for the first time. Tony sat at the table, on the other side from Bucky. "So, what are we going to do?" He asked. Steve and Bucky looked at each other. "We really cannot afford another apartment" the blonde said looking at his boyfriend. "Me too guys" replied Tony "Maybe having a roommate won't be so bed, right babe?" Bucky asked Steve, who looked at Tony waiting for his reaction. "I mean, it seems to be our best option" The three settled in the now shared apartment. The apartment was a one-room apartment with a rather small bedroom, but the living area was rather big. They decided that the couple would sleep in the bedroom and Tony would settle in the living room, on a sofa bed. It wasn't ideal, but it was the best they could take from the situation.

Week 1 It was 5:30 in the morning and the door closed shut and, hearing the noise, Tony woke up. He rolled in his bed, looking at whoever was going out. It was actually Steve, coming home from his daily morning run. It was December and outside it was still dark. And cold. "Why on earth would you do it?" Tony mumbled observing Steve shrugging his raincoat from the snow. Steve silently laughed. "Hey, I am the one who brings you donuts for breakfast" Tony smiled, getting in a more comfortable position to look at the blond man. "Mh yeah, you're an angel" Steve shook his head it's a small smile and walked out, towards his bedroom. "Go back to sleep Tony" Tony turned his head to follow Steve. He was wearing tight thermal pants and thigh t-shirt, too small for him, that was probably's Bucky's. "Bucky, you lucky man" he mumbled, pulling up the covers and gong back to sleep.

Week 2 "Shit shit shit fuck" Bucky screamed, throwing the lid of the mixer in the sink. "Language" Steve screamed back from the bedroom. Tony was reading on the couch and looked up, smiling. "Did he really say 'Language'? Bucky nodded, smiling. Tony looked at the brunet. He was all covered in the smoothie he was trying to blend. Tony walked towards Bucky, laughing. "Here, let me help you" Tony tried to reach for the towel to help Bucky clean up. Their hands touched. Slightly, but Bucky felt it and blushed. He felt his cheeks getting hotter and turned away before Tony would notice it. But he did. He thought it was cute.

Week 4 It was raining cats and dogs outside and the Steve was already late for work. He had to prepare for an important meeting and couldn't possibly be late. But obviously the rain was not enough, the car had to stop halfway out of the garage. Steve grunted and ran up the stairs back to his apartment, hoping that Tony would be awake already. Well, he wasn't. It was still early for night owl Tony but he really needed some help with his car. "Tony. Tony please wake up!" Steve put a hand on Tony's shoulder. Tony sat up abruptly. "What? Who died?" Steve rolled his eyes. "My car Tony, my car died" Tony laid back, pulling his pillow over his face. "If i knew a dead thing would get so much of your attention, I would have died three weeks ago" he mumbled, not knowing that Steve heard every single word. "Tony please, I need to get to work" Tony got up, grabbed his jacket and his shoes and walked out. "Ok Captain Handsome, I'm going. See?" When they reached the car, Tony opened the hood and started looking for what was wrong, bending over the engine. Steve, on he other hand, had a few calls to make, but he didn't even select the contact to call, being too busy looking at Tony's small body wielding whatever he was wielding. "If you wanted to stare at my butt you could have jut asked and I would have bent for you any time" Tony said, winking at Steve before heading back to their apartment.

Week 6 Tony was finally alone. For the first time in six weeks, he was the only breathing being in the house. Don't get him wrong, he loved Steve and Bucky's presence and he loved that someone was always there. But he also loved his freedom. When he lived alone -well, he lived with his parents, but they were rarely home-  he could do whatever he wanted to. He found clothes constricting and whenever he could he ditched them- all of them. But, of course, he could not go around the apartment naked, he would seem weird at the eyes of Steve and Bucky. If they started ditching clothes as well, he would have considered reprising his old habit. The thought of the two soldiers in their birthday suit provoked a reaction that caused his pants to tighten around his waist. That was his clue to strip down of everything and feel the freedom he had incredibly missed. "Bucky? Steve?" he screamed, tossing his t-shirt on the floor. As no answer came back, he unbuckled his belt and let both his pants and boxers slip down to his ankles. Tony let out a long, loud sigh. He walked to the kitchen and took a glass, pouring way too much whiskey in it. He started walking around the house. At some point, when nothing interested him anymore, he finally decided that is was time for him to take a shower. Confident that Steve and Bucky wouldn't be home for a long time, the only thing he took in the bathroom with him, was the bottle of whiskey. Tony didn't know how long he had been in the shower. He was not even washing himself anymore. He was just letting the hot water run down on him. The bottle was now empty and he was definitely drunk, but he didn't care. When he felt it was the right time, Tony walked out of the shower and stood on the carpet, waiting for as much water as possible to fall on the ground, looking at himself  in the mirror. The room was spinning around him, he needed to lay down. Tony stumbled towards the door, finally managing to open it. In front of the door, with a hand on the handle, was standing Bucky, half naked, with only a  towel around his waist. It was a dream, wasn't it? Bucky looked Tony from head to toe, his mouth slightly open. "Tones" he whispered. "Buck" Tony whispered back, putting a hand on Bucky's chest, wanting to check if it was real or just another drunken hallucination. Bucky's chest was solid and unexpectedly warm. He couldn't take his hand away and Bucky couldn't move hie eyes from the shorter man. He knew it was wrong. He had Steve, he loved Steve, but since the first time Tony had touched him, he couldn't stop thinking about his hand all over hi body. To be honest, he wanted both Tony ad Steve's hands all over his body. Bucky was the first to wake up from that state of trance. "Uhm.. yeah, can I?" Shook his had, taking his hand away from Bucky.  "Uh, yeah of course" Bucky moved from the doorway, giving Tony space to walk out of the bathroom, trying not to look at his naked body. While Bucky walked in, Tony stood still in the corridor, looking at Bucky's perfect body. "Uhm see yah, Tony" said Bucky before closing the door. "See yah" Tony whispered back one the door was closed and Bucky couldn't hear him anymore.

[sweater-daddiesdumbdork]

Even The Grinch Needs A Sidekick

Summary- 4k Mike (Me from Playing It Cool) x You. You have been busy, and today is no different. A children's Christmas Party at the hospital where you work is taking up all your time. Mike calls in Scott for some culinary help so you can have a relaxing night. Mike also finds a new friend and brings him home. Fluff. I really don’t think there are any warnings, but if you all pick up on something, go ahead and let me know. The lovely divider made by @firefly-graphics​ Happy Holiday Everyone

A/N- This wasn’t what I had planned for this chapter. But you know what, sometimes the story just does what it wants, damned if the writer wants that. I do love it though. 

Previous Chapter- Tonight It’s Scrooge McDuck

You tugged on your scrubs, having pulled out your favorite pair with The Grinch dressed as Santa Claus, Max with his single antler and little Cindy Lou Who with her red Christmas bauble. You hummed while grabbing your bell earrings when Mike came into the bedroom, glancing at you all dressed up for the hospital. “What's the occasion?” He questioned while turning you around and looking you up and down. 

“A group of us are going down into the children's ward to hand out some presents. I know I'm not supposed to wear the decorated scrubs, but it's once a year. Tomorrow I will go back to those boring as fuck ones.” You leaned up to kiss him swiftly before stepping around him. “But I'm going to be late, and I have an order of cookies to pick up on my way to work.” 

Mike followed you out, unlike you, he wasn't in a rush anywhere. It was a few days before Christmas and just as he had promised, he was about halfway done with Brian's script. The detective drama story line spoke to him a bit more than the rom-com scripts he was stuck with last time, and was finding it a hell of a lot easier to spend his day thinking about. 

You were busy packing a bag with some stuff you had picked up for the kids, and Mike grabbed a bagel he wrapped earlier, toasted lightly with cream cheese as well as a to go mug of coffee, you were distracted and listing off your to-dos when he handed them to you. “Don't forget to eat, and I got dinner tonight.” 

“Oh thank you, I know i have been all over the place the past week.” You paused when you saw what he had and took them to set the mug beside your bag, and pack away the bagel while continuing to talk to him. “You know… tonight is Chopped, and I shouldn’t be late tonight.” You bit your lip in a grin and turned to face him. “We might be able to beat our record.” Hinting at a bedroom game you two played, just for the hell of it.

Mike's eyes crinkled in the corner knowing well what you were playing at, reaching out to grab the front of your shirt and ease you forward into his arms, a grin softening his features as he wiggled his brows. “Think we will beat our time tonight. It's been awhile since we’ve messed around.” His hands slid down to cup your ass cheeks through your scrubs, making you arch into him, and you chuckled while easing your arms around his neck and tilting your head to press your lips to his, teasing darts of the tongue dragging against his bottom lip before pulling away, not letting the kiss get to that deep needing way. That has caused you to be late before and you weren’t going to let yourself be late today.

“That will have to wait till tonight Mike.” You wink at him as he groans as if waiting was not in his plan. “See you later tonight, and smile Baby, no being a Grinch just before Christmas.” You shouldered your bag and backed to the door to stay out of his reach, and slipped out the door with a grin. Mike snapped the door open as you were heading down the stairs. 

“Love you to Y/N” He shouted, and you waved back at him before disappearing from sight. Mike closed the door behind him, and pulled out his phone to scroll through his contacts. Hitting Scott’s name, he pressed dial and waited through the rings before a groggy voice answered. 

“What Man, it's 7 am, what in the hell do you already want Mike?” Scott snapped out and Mike grinned hearing his best friend. 

“Good Morning to you to Scott, are you still up for helping me tonight?” Mike asked and Scott groaned out a yes before hanging up. Whistling Mike grabbed a piece of toast and went to his computer to get to work. A text came through a short time later, a grocery list for Mike to pick up. 

Mike was coming back from the store with the ingredients Scott sent him a list of when he heard something shuffling in an alleyway he was passing. His head tilted when he heard the whimper that shifted into a scared woof, and Mike turned partially into the dirty alleyway, a particularly smelly dumpster half blocked it from sight and the light bright street seemed to grow into a darker ominous presence the further he stepped in, listening intently for that noise again. “Hello?” He asked cautiously, and all that filled his mind was somebody stashed behind the disgusting dumpster, and then he would be pulled into questioning by the cops… 

I really gotta stop watching those dramas Y/N liked so much he thought to himself as he peered into the edge of the dumpster to see nothing then dirty black garbage bags that had been torn into. Nothing unusual. But under the dumpster came a whine, rather pathetic, and Mike looked down between his feet to see a black nose with streaked white fur peek out with a loud sniff against his shoe, and a tilt had it grabbing at his shoelaces that were half hanging loose. “Hey!” he exclaimed and backed up to see the nose disappear back under the dumpster.

 “Here boy… or girl, whatever you are.” Mike called while shifting to a kneel while setting his groceries aside and landing carefully on his palms to lean down and peek under the dumpster. At first there was nothing to see, but then a puppy was trying to wriggle its way out the other side, on its belly with its back legs stretched out behind him. 

Mike was quick to bolt around the dumpster to see the puppy almost out from underneath it. Covered in mud and who knows what else, his head much bigger than the rest of his body, Mike was able to nab the puppy on the nape of his neck and pick him up, which he hung there growling and barking, his hind end and tail curled up in the fetal position. “Okay little guy, just hold on. Promise not to bite me and I will quit holding you like this.” Mike folded his arm to cradle under the puppy’s backside, and let him lean against his chest. He weighed practically nothing, it seemed all his matted fur made him appear bigger then he actually was. Once he was supported, he quit squirming and studied the man. All while Mike studied him back, now unsure of what to do with him. 

Big brown eyes started to droop as a wet black nose bopped against Mikes, and that sealed the deal. Sure there apartment didn't allow dogs but Mike couldn't just leave him there. “Guess you're coming home with me. I already know Y/N will be thrilled.” He grabbed his bag of groceries and made his way back to the apartment, sure to rush up the three flights of stairs and try to shift puppy, and groceries into one arm to get his keys. The puppy ended up wriggling in his arm and he set him down between his shoes to dig out his keys from his pants pocket while the wide eyed mutt peeked around his leg and bounded down the hallway, yipping. “No! Boy get back here.” Mike shoved the door open, along with the groceries before he sprinted after the fleeing canine to get him back. Scooping him up, he rushed back towards his door when the neighbor poked her head out. “Mike, what are you doing?” 

“Uh nothing Mrs. Beatrix… Sorry to have bothered you.” He waved one handed over his shoulder while trying to contain the squirming pup in his arms. Once he dipped into the apartment, half tripping over the bag of groceries, Mike slammed the door shut and set the puppy down, who dropped nose to the floor and started weaving back and forth. 

“Listen man… if this is gonna work out, you have to help out.” Mike said, kicking off his tennis shoes and grabbing the bag to bring to the kitchen, right behind him was the pitter patter of nails on linoleum and while he was emptying the bag of stuff for Scott, a pair of paws pressed against the back of his calves. A loud whine issued, and looking over his shoulder, he chuckled. “Hungry, arnt ya kiddo? Okay, lets see if Y/N has any ham left over from the night before.” He turned and searched the fridge, the puppy right there with his head stuck in it as well. 

It was much later when Scott came over, Mike was working on his script as well as keeping an eye on the new house guest when his ears perked to Scott entering the apartment, his arms filled as well with a couple bags that he set down. 

“Uuuh, are you babysitting someone's dog?” Scott asked curiously while his shoes were getting inspected. And Mike snapped his laptop shut to look over the edge of his desk at them. 

“No, I found him wedged under a dumpster. I couldn’t leave him there.” Mike dropped his hand and gave a soft whistle, which the pup gave Scott one last sniff before barreling back to Mike which scooped him up into his lap, scratching behind his ears. 

“What do you think Y/N will say?” Scott dropped his bags onto the counter and started to unpack and add his ingredients with the stuff Mike had picked up earlier. 

“I think she will be secretly thrilled.” Mike ruffled the pups ears and then set him back down on the floor. He moved to a stand and crossed into the kitchen to scrub his hands clean. “She loves dogs and watch her insist we keep him.” 

“Even when your landlord doesn't allow dogs here?” Scott was asking with a slight laugh while peeling open all the spices, and Mike took his time making faces down at the pup while drying his hands. 

“Eh, hes hardly around and we will figure it out. Besides, I would like to get out of this building, nothing ever works. Last week the hot water was out for the hundredth time it seems. This block always loses power first and last to get it back. Time for an upgrade, Brian already has another script for me to work on after this one finishes. If I really work on it, I should be done right after Christmas.” 

Scott grimaced a bit, but kept himself turned away from Mike while listening to him. “You know… a break afterwards might not be a bad thing, You’ve been writing steadily since before October. I know you're on a streak, but you have to come up for air sometime.” 

Mike shrugged at Scott. “Hey, I gotta take the pieces where I can get them right? Money is good and getting my name known will help in the long run. It's nothing I can’t handle. I know I’ve been distant a bit with Y/N, why you are here today, teaching me how to roast a chicken.” 

“I don’t know how you convinced me to do this. What person doesn't know how to cook a meal for their partner? You two have been dating for two years and this is the first time?” He scolded Mike while grabbing vegetables to give a rinse in the sink. The pup had planted himself between the two men, his ears perked while swinging his head back and forth to listen. 

“Take out, out to dinner, breakfast? I don't know, it just hasn’t happened. But tonight my man, with your help, I’m changing that. Y/N has been working hard the last couple weeks, and I know this will make her feel special.” Mike rolled up his sleeves, preparing to help Scott with whatever he needed while winking at their guest. “And who better to help me then you? You and Neil took all those cooking classes together. So what is on the menu tonight?” Mike leaned in to look at a bag, which Scott shooed him out and reached in pulling out the last thing Mike expected, a whole chicken. 

“Roast chicken, garlic baby red potatoes, a nice side salad, and rolls. You really can't get easier than that, and it speaks sophisticated.” Scott informed him while placing the chicken in the sink. 

“Easy? Dude that's a whole damn bird.” Mike scoffed while coming around the counter. “What do you want me to do with it?” 

Scott was already going through the kitchen, grabbing cooking pans and aluminum foil. “Well you can start with unwrapping the chicken and giving it a rinse.” 

Mike gave the chicken a look and took a breath. “No big deal, right pupper?” Mike directed at the puppy, who yipped in excitement and tipped his head back to give a cheeky howl, making both the men laugh at his reaction. 

The crash course into cooking had Mike's head spinning. Scott had him chopping, dicing, sprinkling seasonings, tossing stuff together and when he finally got the pans into the oven, he took a deep breath. “Okay what's next?” Mike was now on his toes, ready for the next project but Scott was busy washing his hands. 

“Now you wait an hour, check it by popping one of the legs near the joint and seeing if the juices run clear. Also let it rest when you take it out for good, or else it will be dry as hell.” Scott informed while drying his hands. “Also you need to get cleaned up. And give the poor dog a bath.” Scott leaned down where the puppy scooted away from Mike and sniffed at his fingers, giving them a lick first and then a playful bite which Scott shook his finger loose from the tiny teeth. Mike watched a moment before checking his phone. 

“Y/N will be home soon, so I will get on that. I bet he's a pretty cute pup under all that dirt.” Mike leaned down to pick him up, and Scott straightened, grabbing his reusable grocery bags and tucked them under his arm. 

“Text me tomorrow to let me know how it came out and we on for Saturday at the bowling alley?” Scott approached the door and Mike followed, turning the pup around to wave his paw at Scott.

“Yes Uncle Scott.” Mike mimicked in a joking high pitched voice, leaving Scott rolling his eyes at his friend. 

“Bite him would ya? You still got those sharp baby teeth.” Scott let himself out and Mike twisted the puppy once more to face him. 

“What an ass huh?” Which rewarded him with a resounding woof in agreement and a nip at the end of his nose. “God damn it, you weren't supposed to listen to him.” Mike grumbled while retreating to the bathroom, knowing the timer would let him know when to check on the chicken. “Okay, what's safe to use on you?” he questioned while setting the pup down in the bathtub and pulled out his phone to google while starting to put warm water in the tub. 

You trudged up the apartment's stairs, a few gift bags hanging off your arm from some of the long time residents at the hospital. You were exhausted and really looking forward to opening up that bottle of wine you’ve been saving and crashing on the couch with Mike. 

Jingling keys from your coat pocket and letting yourself in, the first thing that you noticed was the smell of chicken and potatoes wafting in from the kitchen, making your stomach roll in hunger and your mouth water. Following your nose, you went to drop off your bags when you called out “Mike? Where you at?” You had expected him to be in front of his glowing computer screen, where he usually was when in the middle of writing a script, but not tonight. 

“Will you stop it? I'M IN HERE.” You heard him call from down the hallway, and after you toed off your shoes, you started down to hear something whining and splashing. 

“Mike… what's going on?” You question as you stop at the bathroom doorway to see something you never expected to see. Mike was kneeling next to the tub and hanging off the edge was soggy paws and a soapy puppy giving the most pitiful look up at him while wagging his tail, sending a trail of water and soap spreading all over the room. 

“I said cut that out!” Mike wailed while reaching to catch the tail and squeeze out the excess water from it before letting it go, which just started the sloppy wagging again and a howl now while Mike attempted to rinse him off. “Welcome home Baby.” 

You just melt at the scene, grabbing a towel off the counter and unfolding it while Mike moves to a stand, picking the soaked dripping pup with him and you go to wrap him up in the fluffy towel. “Mike, where did you find this sweet baby?” You croon as you go to gently rub him dry, cupping his face and smiling at him. 

“Well… Under a dumpster a few blocks away.” Mike let you take the pup in your arms as your gently swaying him back and forth, still crooning and nuzzling him while hes giving licks to the tip of your nose. “I couldn't leave him there.” 

“Absolutely not.” You turned to leave the bathroom, leaving Mike to drain and rinse the tub while you brought your new friend out to the living room. Having him still wrapped in a towel, you settled on the couch and started to unwrap him from the towel, seeing his little yawns as he curled up on your scrub clad thighs. “Who would just leave you out there all alone little baby?” 

Mike finished up, taking a quick peek at his chicken, which had turned a deep golden brown, and the scent of sage and butter wafted from the open oven. Pulling it out, he listened to you talking to the puppy while setting it on the counter to let it sit before cutting into it. 

“Wine?” He called out while pulling out your favorite glass, already knowing the answer when you resounded a yes from the other room. Pouring it, he went back in to sit down next to you, handing you the wine and tossing his arm over your shoulder to pull you in closer. Tucking in his side, you hummed softly while softly petting the snoring pup in your lap. 

“We should think about what we're going to do with him.” You sigh a bit, scritching behind his ear while he twisted in your lap and went belly up, your fingers tickling along the pink of his belly. 

Mike considered it, letting his own fingers trail along your shoulder. “Why not keep him? We only have a few months left of our lease. About time we move right? Maybe something bigger.” 

You had never heard Mike talk like this, like in the future setting. He had always been in the moment, by the seat of your pants kind of man, and you were always a bit nervous to even bring up the future with him. You cleared your throat a bit while looking up at him, straightening a bit, which jostled the puppy just a bit and woke him up with a whining yawn, stretching in your lap. “You really want that Mike?” You searched his face and he shrugged, a tinge of pink along the top of his cheeks. 

“Well I wouldn't mention it if I didn't Y/N.” He teased while reaching for the pup who started to wriggle around in your lap, and set him down on the floor before pushing himself to a stand. “Come, I actually made a real dinner and you still gotta tell me about work. Did that intern drive you crazy today?” He efficiently changed the subject, which you let him. Slipping into his hold, you went to help him in the kitchen. Leaning over the counter as he transferred the chicken, you inhaled deeply. 

“You made this Mike?” you asked incredulously with an arched brow, waiting for him to confess that it was an order in and he made it look homemade, but he smirked at you while starting to carve. 

“I will have you know I made this myself.” 

You gave him the look, the one that demanded the ultimate truth. 

“With Scotts help, okay. But I did the work.” Mike plucked a piece of chicken loose and held it to you, which you popped in your mouth, licking at your lip and grinning at how it tasted. Reaching for another piece and plucking a piece to give to the puppy waiting patiently at your foot. “Scott just instructed me on what to do.” 

“His classes are paying off. Maybe he can become our free instructor.” You joked while going around the counter to finish helping Mike get stuff ready and for the first time in a while you two sat at the table instead of crashing in front of the tv with junk food. Soon plates were pushed aside, full from the excellent food and tired after the long day, you went to take a quick shower while Mike cleaned up the kitchen. 

Coming back out dressed in sleep shorts and a tank, you found Mike laying on the couch with the puppy standing on his back legs, front paws on the couch trying to jump up. Mike scooped him up onto the couch with him, whispering to him. “Looks like your staying boy, what are we going to name you? Buster? You almost look like a Buster.” You approached the couch and Mike shifted enough so you could lay down along his side, half wedged on him and between the couch, laying your head on Mike's shoulder. 

“Hmmm, what about Scout?” You wiggle your nose at the puppy, who efficiently ignored both names, proceeding to chew on Mike's shirt, the Christmas lights on the tree being the only glow in the room. You smiled and whispered out. “Hey Max… look at me.” 

Which the brown and white puppy immediately perked up, and Mike shook his head. “Max? Why Max?” 

You grinned while watching Max perk up every time Mike said his name, your giggle muffled against his shirt. “We needed a Christmas dog name.” Then you hummed out Your A Mean One Mr.Grinch. “Max can be your sidekick now Mr.Grinch.” 

Mike gave a laugh, running his fingers along your hips, making you laugh out and trying to pull away. Max growled out, barreling against you and Mike to tug at Mikes hand, and you grasped the pup to set him aside gently so that you two rough housing didn’t end up getting him hurt. 

“Seems like he is more your sidekick Baby.” Mike smirked as he pulled you in closer to him, flushing kisses against your neck and rubbing up and down your back. You settled back in against his chest. “Ready for bed?” He asked, calculating how many hours were left so he could write a bit after you fell asleep. 

“Mmhh, it was such a nice evening, I hate to end it so soon.” You tilted your head up to press your lips to his and Mike pushed up to a sit. 

“We will pick it up tomorrow. Besides, I should probably take the rugrat out to potty, now that it’s dark out.” 

Your arms eased around his neck and you gave him a more passionate loving kiss in thank you, and eased up. “I will see you when you come back up Mike.” Max sat there watching the two of you and you ruffled Max’s ears, then headed to the bedroom. Mike watched you go down the hallway and then looked to see Max had ditched him to go check out the tree, sniffing excitedly when Mike's eyes sprang wide to see him pop a squat. 

“Max! No!” Mike yelled, springing up to catch the pup. 

[lovely-little-whumpee]

Yuliy Morrow - Auction

Okay I finally finished this chapter, I don’t know why it took so long, sorry.

Wordcount: 2.2k

Taglist (let me know if you want to be removed or added): @king-ivory @shigar4kifuck3r @whumphours @whumpzone

Cw: Drugging, human trafficking, non-consensual touching/manhandling, little bit of violence. Please let me know if I’ve missed anything.

Yuliy groaned as he started to regain consciousness, a pounding headache warning him early that it was probably best to go right back to sleep. He’d been getting ready to do just that, when he remembered the events that led to his hurt head -kidnapped-they-took-me-away-they-drugged-me- in the first place. He shot up, only to yelp in pain as his forehead connected with something metal. The headache only got worse, and he felt nausea building in his stomach, though he didn’t know if it were a result of the pain or whatever it was they drugged him with.

Swallowing back the bile Yuliy opened his eyes, catching the sight of a metal lid over top of him, and the metal bars surrounding his sides. He was in a cage, and a rather small one at that. Sitting up—this time being much more successful— he realized that he’d have to stay hunched over or curled in the fetal position to be able to fit inside the small prison. Where was he? Why had he been taken? He tried to remember the words the broad kidnapper had spoken over the phone, but everything was a blurry haze. He couldn’t even remember the faces of his assaulters. 

He vaguely remembered the weeping woman, who in retrospect he shouldn’t have approached at all. Hindsight 20/20, Yuliy. Just as he began searching for a weak point in the cage, a door somewhere slammed open, and the lights to the room he was in flicked on. He flinched from the sudden noise and the flooding of the fluorescent lights, hating what they did to his head. He didn’t have the time to lament long before he was taking in as much as he could of his surroundings, what little he could see anyway. Because of the short height of the cage and the lid overtop, Yuliy could only see the bottom half of the room, if that. Still, he did his best to commit it to memory, not knowing whether or not it’d come in handy later on.

“Alright newbie, you’re a bit of a latecomer, so you’re the last one being sold out of this batch.” Wait, what? Yuliy was certain that he’d heard the words wrong, that his headache was making him imagine things. Sold? Him? Why? How?

His tongue sat heavy in his mouth, but he was eventually able to pry it open enough to speak. “Why… why am I here?” He asked, his voice sounding weak and hoarse, his throat dry and feeling like he’d swallowed sandpaper. How long had he been out? The man chuckled, and Yuliy could only see the man’s knees and below, and he doubted he’d see the other’s face for the time he was here. 

“Aren’t you a dumb one,” the man snickered, kicking Yuliy’s cage lightly and causing him to flinch as it rocked. “I’ve just told you, have I not? You’re being sold to the highest bidder. With any luck, we’ll never meet again.” The man’s voice sounded so flippant, and Yuliy opened his mouth to yell at him. “And I suggest you don’t speak anymore, unless you want someone to have to come in and gag you,” he threatened. Yuliy decided to ignore him on the off chance that they were close enough to civilization that he’d be heard by someone outside. 

“N-no! You can’t keep me here! People will— people are looking for me, right now probably! Just, just let me go!” He shouted, hating the fear in his voice and the way his words caught several times. The man outright laughed, having to take several moments to regain his composure, and Yuliy felt more of that budding fear begin worming its way up his chest.

“You think we didn’t do a little research on you before we grabbed you? You’re Yuliy Morrow, nineteen years old and no remaining family. You live in a rundown apartment in the shadier part of your town. The perfect catch.” Yuliy’s jaw fell slack as the man recited the facts about him, hating how quickly his odds were beginning to fall. “Sad to say this kid, but no one’s gonna look for you.” No, that wasn’t true, was it? Certainly his boss would look for him when he missed work on Monday, right? Maybe his professors would think he’d just dropped out, but perhaps his landlord would check in when he didn’t receive his monthly rent? 

Would the trail be cold by the time someone realized he was missing? 

Yuliy felt the nausea creeping up once more, and this time, he wasn’t able to swallow it down, and his back hunched from the force of the first retch. By the second, burning stomach acid wormed its way up his throat. By the third, the mouthfuls fell onto his clothes and the floor of the cage. By the fourth, the smell of it hit the air, causing him to cringe in repulsion and try not to retch again. He was unsuccessful, and by the time he was finished, he was gasping for air, his chest burning from the effort. 

“Gross kid, I mean we were gonna clean you up anyway, but you didn’t need to go and make our jobs any harder.” Yuliy wanted to curse at the man, to tell him that it wasn’t his fault, and that if they hadn’t kidnapped him in the first place none of this would be happening. The words got caught in his throat though, what with him still heaving for breath an all. 

Suddenly, the lid to the cage was pried back, and how hadn’t Yuliy noticed the extra pairs of feet in the room? The vomiting probably had something to do with it. Before he was able to take in anymore than that, Yuliy’s head was wrenched back so hard that he could feel several strands of his hair loosen. A blindfold was then yanked over his eyes -it's-dark-I-can’t-see-what-are-they-going-to-do-to-me- and tied so tightly he groaned from the pain. His world went dark and he wasn’t able to balance properly, though he didn’t know if it was because of the general sluggishness he was feeling or because he wasn’t able to see. 

It didn’t matter to the strangers though, as they simply dragged him somewhere for several minutes. Without being able to see anything, Yuliy tried to rely on his other instincts, but he wasn’t practiced in doing so, and really was only able to hear shoes slapping against tile. What did they plan on doing to him? “Please… please just let me go,” he whispered, knowing that his chances were slim but still wanting to try anyway. Even having a one percent chance of getting out of his situation was better than none. Predictably, he hadn’t been answered at all, and he whimpered softly as the hopelessness of his situation continued to crash down on him. 

When they finally came to a stop, Yuliy could hardly tell up from down, much less how long they’d been walking or what type of room he was in. He was let go of by one of the bodyguards, but the other grabbed his wrists painfully and cuffed them. Yuliy tried to pull them back to his chest as a layer of protection between him and the invisible man, but a loud clanking sound and thud stopped him. “W-what?” He mumbled, trying to wrap his hands around the object in which his hands were tied to. It felt like a simple metal pole, rather thin but sturdy, as evidenced by it not moving a single inch no matter how hard Yuliy tugged on it. 

He only stopped his tugging when he felt hands pulling at his clothes, and then the unmistakable sounding of cutting fabric. He panicked, trying to jerk away but only managing a couple of inches because of the handcuffs. “Get off me! Don’t touch me!” He yelled at the top of his lungs, kicking out blindly but never being able to connect to anything. Without successfully being able to fend off the attacker, Yuliy’s shirt was eventually cut off. Despite his shouting and protests, his jeans were eventually cut off too. He could feel tears forming behind the blindfold because of the invasion -They’re-touching-me-stop-I-don’t-want-you-to-why-are-you-doing-this- and he yelped as the cold air hit his skin, causing the fine hairs on his body to raise. 

A gag was suddenly shoved inside his mouth, tied behind his head before he could comprehend much more than what it was. Belatedly he realized that it must’ve been a piece of cloth cut from his clothing. Someone then fisted the hem of his boxers -please-please-don’t-why-can’t-you-just-leave-them- before cutting them off in one smooth motion and in the sudden onslaught of panic and his hyperventilating, Yuliy didn’t realize he’d fallen to the ground, curling in on himself to protect the barest parts of him. The man didn’t care though, and Yuliy heard the turning of a faucet before he was sprayed with a powerful stream of water that was sure to leave bruises.

They hosed him down like he was nothing more than an object, and when they’d finally finished, Yuliy was shaking and sobbing quietly. Something soft was then thrown at him, hitting him in the chest before falling on top of his legs. He’d flinched, having not known what it was before, but now he was simply confused. 

“Put it on.” It wasn’t the same man from before speaking, and Yuliy burned in shame and embarrassment at how many people were seeing him so vulnerable, so -naked-they-took-all-my-clothes-and-hosed-me-down-they-all-saw-me-they-still-see-me-naked-they’re-looking-at-me- bare. It took several long minutes— filled with his quiet sniffling and blind fumblings— to find out that it was a pair of boxers they’d thrown at him. He quickly pulled them on, uncomfortable at how well they fit, like they’d known his size beforehand. Still, he wasn’t going to just not wear them. Any covering was better than none.

He was hauled to his feet, and his hands were uncuffed and re-cuffed behind his back. Though he tried to resist, even digging his feet into the concrete, he was still dragged along to another room. Little noises involuntarily bubbled up his throat, but with the gag most of them were almost completely muffled. 

Despite being blindfolded, the route they were going down seemed familiar in its length and the amount of turns. Yuliy knew that they were probably throwing him into the same room as earlier for convenience sake. He knew he was right when he was forced into the -too-small-I-can’t-move- cage as before, the metal cold and wet, like they’d hosed it down as they did him. “They show his pictures and information to the crowd yet?” One guard asked another, and Yuliy listened as intently as he could. They were showing people his pictures? What pictures? Had they taken them while he’d been unconscious? 

“Yeah, boss said they already started bidding and everything. Say he might be the highest sell tonight.”

“Thank fuck, I’m trying to get home.” Yeah me too, Yuliy thought, but he couldn’t say anything with the gag. With his hands tied behind him, he couldn’t really shift to get comfortable, and his shoulder dug painfully into the hard metal where he lay. Less than before, but still noticeable was the drug that must’ve still been in Yuliy’s system. Either that, or the blindfold was really messing with his perception of time, as it seemed to by quickly after that— which was the opposite of what he wanted. 

Eventually enough, the same door as before slammed open, and Yuliy flinched from the noise. “Alright get him prepped for our dear client here.” It was the man from earlier, the one who’d made the initial threat of gagging him. He hadn’t even realized the man had left. Was he the boss the guards were talking about? 

The man’s words then dawned on him as he was violently pulled out of the cage, his arm feeling as though it were going to be pulled out of its socket. He screamed and kicked, shouting the words “no”, “stop”, and “please”, most of it muffled and garbled, but the meaning was clear all the same. With his struggling, he managed to get a few hits on the two guards trying to wrestle him down, and then there was a strange limbo where he was suddenly weightless and floating, before gravity came back and he was slammed against the concrete floor, his head cracking painfully on top of it. Oh, that was gonna concuss. 

His blindfold slipped up a bit just as he felt the needle pierce his neck with an awful feeling of deja vu. When he glanced over, he saw two men standing by the door, although he didn’t know who was the boss and who was the customer. Which one held his life in their hands? “Alright Bram, he should be out long enough for you to get him home. If you’d like a refund, be sure to contact us within a week, or else it will be void.” The man named Bram didn’t look like he’d heard the other at all though, his eyes never moving from Yuliy.

Bram leaned against the doorframe with his arms crossed, looking like he owned the place instead of just being a customer. He smirked before he began speaking, eyes boring into Yuliy’s, “Silly pet, you weren’t supposed to see my face yet.”

Oh. 

Masterlist

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[marigoldwitch]

Please ignore the giant pile of dirt on the floor I was literally in the middle of sweeping when she started blasting her music lol

Oh what’s that? My upstairs neighbor being a loud bitch.. again. She does this every single day for 2-3 hours a day around 4pm… everyday… for the last like 2 years. And then on the weekends this is what I hear until like 3 in the morning! This is coming from inside her apartment. From her living room, in the front of her apartment. I’m recording from my back door at the back of the building. That’s how loud it is. So all I hear for 3 hours is this shit through my ceiling, everywhere in my apartment.

I was gonna escape the noise and have my coffee outside on the patio but this is what it sounds like. Everyone in my building complains constantly about her noise. The apartment across from me has had 4 different residents in the last 2 years and they have all told me they moved because of her. The only reason I and the people across from her haven’t moved is due to financial reasons.

She’s bffs with the landlord so she pretty much gets away with whatever she wants. She’s the one whose boyfriends like to pee in the parking lot (yes, pee in the parking lot) and throw their garbage out their car windows and into the bushes. We’ve been keeping records of this for 2 years. I’ve called police and of course they tell us it’s our landlords job to handle this. We call the landlord and she tells us to call the police because apparently there is nothing she can do about it. Which is a bullshit lie because I’ve seen other residents get evicted for much much less. We’ve tried to talk to her and ask her nicely (okay, my boyfriend talked to her lol, and asked her nicely) to keep the music down or wear headphones if she wants it to be that loud.

One night a few months ago she was doing this at like midnight on a Monday and my boyfriend had to teach the next day and he was so tired but couldn’t sleep; so he banged on the ceiling with the broom and she for real had the audacity, the nerve, to yell at us “stop banging on my damn floor bitch!” And then turned her music up. She’s literally the absolute worst person I’ve ever had the displeasure of having to speak to or deal with. And don’t even get me started on her boyfriend’s actual girlfriends coming around mistaken my apartment for hers and banging on my door at midnight looking for their men lol. She’s just an all around terrible person.

At first I thought it was just me being over stimulated with so much noise. I can get very emotional and physically ill if noises become to loud or there are too many. But when my other neighbors started to complain too, I knew I wasn’t being crazy and that this was a major issue.

Anyways. I have like an hour of this footage, from each room in my apartment. I just thought I’d highlight that I can’t even escape this hoe outside lol.

[smallestclowninthecircus]

Season 4 notes

Ep 121: mmmm tape recorder turning on without them knowing goes brrr. AAAhjhdsjfhjdf "do you mind if i call you jon" its like "can i call you elias?" is this the dream guy with the tendrils? who wants to bet the boat is captained by peter lukas? big man if it killed yall how are you still here. oh boy the tape is doin that thing. who do we think it is? did he wake up? hmm. ep 122: lol jon. 6 months!?!? bruh quit movin big man. he just Knows things sometimes you know how it is. nah b/c i can relate to feeling like other ppl/ things arent real, thats the biggest mood BUT i think it is kinda pretentious to entertain the idea that youre the only Real person. If you dont see a body dont believe it. i'll hold out hope for a bit. theres not a new archivist is there? surely i wouldve heard about that. oh god peter what changes did you make. ep 123: web development. hope its about spiders. she blames him. bruh why. if they hadnt done anything the world would've ended piss off melanie. why are ppl acting like he chose to be in a coma for 6 months. we know this they just appear. no longer "head archivist of the magnus institute, london" now he's just "the archivist" covered in spiders? cuz ik the spider has to do with controlling what youre doing and all this stuff but i cant think of how this connects to that. ep 124: ugh vertigo. is michael crew an old man? oooh. fairchild. how did he know it was martin? hmm. GRR I LOST MY NOTES AGAIN. FROM EPISODE 125 - part of 131. ep 131: bruh he's so hard to understand big man ur voice is so low. Jared Hotworth. the boneturner. "the ones i helped find their proper bodies" name a better top surgeon? our favorite trans ally? ep 132: woo field trip into the coffin! static lol. he says "chill out im just poppin in for a quick recall mission" is the rib thing actually gonna work? bruh it feels so odd and contrived but he's an odd man with some odd powers so idk. rip that archivist ayyy statement time. voices? recordings? are those tape recorders? was it the tape recorders? did they pull him back? i hope so b/c if the rib thing actually worked im gonna be so disappointed. ep 133: predicting the lonely? tundra. like the lukases. hmm. sanikova! like sanikov land. so its the hunt? i suppose? yeah. so daisy's clearly rejecting the hunt, which makes sense cuz she doesnt seem to like the entities that much. wait so are we just not gonna talk abt all the tapes playing on the ground?? no? ep 134: not an archival assistant anymore? Adelard Decker (or however you spell it) i recognize that name. 15th power. i was right there are 15. the extinction? im trying to remember what ive heard. oooh spooky. no i gotta be real i dont understand this fear but i'll believe you that its a thing. ew lukas is so squealy. lukas can turn invisible? oh boy. oooh martin put the tape recorders there. lol lukas is worried he's gonna be an avatar of the eye. ep 135: yoo its the third Daedalus statement! maxwell rayner (reiner? reigner?) i dont know who that is but ik its somebody. is he the cult leader guy? church of the divine host? 4 people?? what? did they kidnap somebody and keep them up there?? oh dear jon are you dying? did he try to See or Know or whatever? why does everyone call basira detective lol. ep 136: he was the one from the spider movie that ate ppl right? the special effects artist? is it annabelle cane? "its a joke jon" lol. hmm they wanted to record the therapy session with melanie? i wonder who that is. i almost wanna guess annabelle cane but im not sure. ep 137: this is the one! he went to the other place and read the war statement but it wasnt the one she took. not the music again. sounds like the slaughter. who the heck is eric lol. "the watcher's crown" like the crown of eyes we saw in the piccrew ep 138: oh boy Robert Smirk time. is that elias? as unhelpful as usual. if new powers can be "born" can others die out? did jonah magnus wear the watchers crown? maybe they were born from our fear or maybe our fears were born from them. ceaseless watcher does ceaselessly watch so. idk what you want

big man. yeah jonah for sure did something. ep 139: agnes!! lol that one dude threw off all their plans thats so funny. BUT this does tell us something. the tree in the backyard of the hilltop house? not made by her. it going down didnt kill agnes. im guessing gertrude tied agnes to the house using the tree? u good jon? cuz every time you try to Know smth intentionally it seems like it causes you great pain. how come he can do it accidentally with no problem but the second he wants to know smth of plot relevance he gets a headache or whatever ep 140: lol pagan exultation. classic. "oh thats my rib" lmaoo. ppl are always so mad at jon and his Eye powers except when it benefits them. they're like "oh you shouldnt do that its not right" and then all of a sudden they want to know something and its all "oh cmon jon its the only way" ep 142: oh god jon what did you do. its interesting she's giving her statement in the way that they do when jon Asks. did he see her in the Coffin? and so he's following her? ok cmon jon you're supposed to let them come to you. lmao ikr martin. "start to hear the blood" "suure." lmao ep 143: lol that awkward moment when gertrude is already dead. big J if you die im gonna kill you. bruh. ayo helen? i guess it worked? ep 144: lol this reminds me of that one edgar allan poe story where he kills the old dude with the weird eye. spooky music stuff. lol thats my favorite symptom of a heart attack its hilarious. so its smth abt the location probably? bro i feel like you should write down the numbers idk. 162830165049 564846474827. seems like the distortion? like the kinda thing that causes you to go crazy because of the numbers. oh boy is it the extinction again. bro what?? im?? his dad just died and he's like eh. martin dont be mean. he's being all lonely again. big man ur pushing ppl away. oh god its fucking squealy boy. ep 145: that almost sounds like breekon/hope... Arthur? agnes. aah was he from the lightless flame cult. a tree. lol he's just ranting rn. hehehe fuck landlords amirite. yay someone tells jon outright to go to therapy. now do it big man. ep 146: oh great! the distortion! i'm making a spiral themed building in mc right now! jon maybe accept you did a bad? nah this goes back to what i said before. they're fine with him compelling ppl when its convenient for them but otherwise its "no jon you cant, youre a monster jon" the tapes didnt turn on. i spose that means its not important? i agree with daisy, this seems unecessarily dangerous. ep 147: is that a tape? the first tape? well that went better than i expected tbh. BAHAKJASHDJKF she did the "can i call you jon" like nikola says "elias, can i call you elias?" damn annabelle is such a girlboss. oh! the one thing from the picrew. its been a while since ive connected smth to that. lol all the other avatars always talk abt their patron so lovingly and the jon just. absolutely hates the eye. ep 148: lol thats the most elias thing. "i just like the way it sounds" ep 149: did he disappear? bruhh. ur lonely powers are popping off i guess. oops i accidentally deleted my notes for 150 - 152 ep 153: thats the cult right? yeah. it doesnt sound like the church of the divine host? idk. if it is the church of the divine host then they worship the dark right? so is the eleventh the dark star or wtvr? it almost sounds like the corruption b/c of the oil or grease or whatever. oh dear what happened. oh its the hunters. theyre so annyoing. not an "it" he has a name. he's a person. is this a page from the skin book? ep 154: oh shit this is gerry's dad! oh shit he quit! oh dear god. jon don't you do it. haha martin. yeahhhh... is he gonna tell the others? cuz you know theyre gonna get mad if he doesnt. oh also picrew connection! the bandages over the eyes? yeah thats this im guessing. ep 155: oh good he told them. oh my god what did you do. lol i have no mouth and i must scream. nah you get none of my sympathy you're straight up murdering ppl. its like the desolation, destroying lives to sustain your own. ok but taking their statements doesnt

kill them. oh... bye melanie. ep 156: lmao imagine if the tape recorder spoke back. oh boy decker! i swear we got a statement from him already. oh god mirrors scary. They're gonna eat the body arent they. Yup... sounds like the flesh or the slaughter, but I'm not sure. Could be the extinction for sure. Smth at the center! Like Helen mentioned. God Peter you dick. Ep 157: peter's just so :/ another decker statement i see. a statement about the corruption? hmm. maybe its not abt the corruption. the extinction. lol pandemics. topical. John Amherst. helen? lol i can hear admiral purring in the background. oh cmon helen dont be like that. im trying real hard to like you but you make it so difficult. ep 158: did they fucking free the stranger? im gonna lose it. you absolute dumbass. im sorry who is that? jonah magnus? my guy. peter. you absolute dickhead. that's elias. (im p sure i had this spoiled for me that elias is jonah) oh dear this is her death. god peter you prick. i hope this is a pop off martin moment and not a "martin you idiot" moment. i hope the hunters kill the stranger entity. or she kills them. furry daisy pop off! yeah fuck you peter martin can make his own decisions. you know that clip from Twisted where jafar says "ok what the fuck was that" martin D: ok like i know its gonna work but still D: D: ep 159: peter you bitchboy. because if im alone i cant hurt anyone else. imnotgonnacryimnotgonnacryimnotgonnacry do it do it do it do it. pop off jon. ok its a pretty good idea for a ritual i gotta be honest. she didnt even have to blow it up lol. oh dear that was certainly a noise. "he gets you" did he not have jon already? he's back! our boy is back! awwww thats so cute. ep 160: oh right this is the thing in the safe house. i love him. "obviously im going to tell you if i see any good cows" martin my beloved <3 :)) oh boy who is this. fuckin. people. jonah you dick. gahh. you can tell he's trying to resist so hard lol. ohh. hehe keep an *eye* on him. altho if the extinction is a real thing he needs to be marked by that right? lol he sounds so intense im sorry- i want martin to just burst in and be like "look at this cow i saw!" its so dramatic and for why.

[sandalwoodhusbands]

Hey, it's the request anon again :) I would love to read some fluffy elu, maybe them finally getting a cute dog and Eliott being incredibly happy about how much his life changed for the better since he met Lucas? And maybe a smut oneshot too? Like, Eliott wanting Lucas to take the lead, for him to be in control or something? Sorry in advance, I know this is a lot but I just love your writing so so much! (You don't have to do them of course) 🤍🤍🤍

hello there! first off, thank you so much for the requests! i had a lot of fun writing the first one, and in perfect timing for eliott’s birthday. i gave it a little spin that i hope you’ll like anyway.

i’ll come back to the sexy one in a couple of days, but in the meantime please enjoy <3

-

(also in ao3)

“I think Lucas is getting me a stripper for my birthday.”

The words make Idriss shoot his head up from his book so fast Eliott is concerned he might have pulled a muscle.

“You think Lucas is what?” Idriss asks in a high voice, eyes full of bewilderment. “What?!”

“I think,” Eliott repeats calmly “that Lucas is getting me a stripper for my birthday.”

Idriss blinks at him.

Eliott shrugs innocently from the couch, uncrossing and crossing his legs under him as Idriss gapes stupidly at him.

“What the fuck,” Idriss says at last “do you mean that Lucas, your best friend, is getting you a fucking stripper for your birthday?”

Eliott straightens his back, smiling at Idriss like he’s finally asking the questions he should be asking.

“I’m glad you asked that.” He says in glee, clasping his hands together. “Well, one, Lucas isn’t half as sneaky as he thinks he is.”

“That’s not even a valid argument.”

Eliott throws Idriss a disapproving glare. “That’s not the point, Idriss. Two,” he lists off with his fingers “he’s been asking really weird questions lately. Like the other day, he asked if my landlord cared about loud noises. And what’s that code for? A party.”

“Eliott, I don’t think-“

“And then,” Eliott interrupts. “Just last night he told me I should make some space in the living room for my surprise.” He makes air quotes, looking at Idriss expectantly.

Idriss only stares back.

“The fuck do you mean surprise?”

Eliott wets his lips. “A dancing pole, obviously.”

Idriss’ mouths falls open, and then-

“Your brain works in ways I will never understand, bro.”

Eliott smiles smugly, leaning back on the couch. With a lazy raise of his eyebrows, he nods at Idriss solemnly. “I’m gonna be right, you’ll see.”

Idriss hums non-committedly.

“Pity he’s not the ass you’re seeing naked though, right?”

Eliott throws the tv remote at his head.

“Shut the fuck up.”

***

It’s a week after his conversation with Idriss that he sees Lucas’ lit up face as he talks to the girl behind the counter, and knows he can’t keep it in anymore.

He tries. He really tries to keep it in, for everyone’s sake, mostly because he doesn’t actually ruin Lucas’ surprise. A little because they’re in public, and he knows Lucas might try to knock him out with a bowling ball if he embarrasses him.

In the end he blurts it out.

“Are you getting me a stripper for my birthday?” He asks, and immediately winces when he sees Lucas’ expression.

Lucas’ entire body falters, hands raised up below his knees where he was tying the laces of his shoes. He’s looking at Eliott half with surprise and half like he wants to kill him, and then he’s pressing his lips together, closing his eyes with exasperation.

Eliott gives him a sheepish smile, shrugging a little.

“Eliott Demaury, you’re a fucking idiot.” He says, but then he’s smiling a little, the corners of his lips curled up prettily.

Eliott takes one step closer to him. Lucas rolls his eyes, hugging his middle in the way he does when he’s laughing really hard, raising an eyebrow at Eliott.

“So is that a no?”

Lucas huffs, but the grin in his face betrays him.

“Yes, that’s a no, you moron. Why would you even think I would get you a stripper?” He asks, throwing his hands up. He talks with his whole body, with his mouth and the sway of his hips as he walks towards an empty lane. Eliott watches entranced his every move, and he must have been silent for too long, he thinks, because then Lucas stops walking. He turns to him with a dubious expression. “Wait, do you want one?”

And.

Well.

“I suppose not.” Eliott shrugs. Because he doesn’t, not really. Now that the thrill of figuring his best friend out has ran its course, he definitely doesn’t find the idea appealing. He’s almost happy he got it wrong this time. But as Lucas keeps studying him silently, eyes squinted as if he’s trying to read Eliott’s mind, Eliott only laughs, shaking his head. “No, I definitely don’t need to see naked people shaking their ass in my face.”

The red fluorescent lights shine on Lucas’ hair, coloring some of the strands in a pale bronze, and his eyes are bright. He’s beautiful, Eliott’s golden boy.

He smiles, watching the way Lucas’ wary expression turns into mirth.

“Ah, okay.” Lucas nods. “Guess I’ll return my sparkly gold thong then.”

And then he’s walking away.

Eliott jogs after him, unexpected laughter bubbling up his chest that lasts all the way to him.

They’re not the only ones here tonight, but they’re definitely the loudest, he thinks, when he catches up to Lucas, his hands tugging at him by the shoulders, and Lucas’ laugher is the only sound he hears.

“Wait,” Eliott says. There’s laughter in his voice, and he hasn’t said anything funny yet, but Lucas is laughing too. “Wait, wait. If it’s your ass we’re talking about…”

Lucas groans, batting Eliott’s hands away half-heartedly. “Oh my god, shut up.”

Eliott lets him go reluctantly. If this was a Tony Stampley song, he’d say something tacky and corny that Lucas would hate and make him punch Eliott in the shoulder, something like I hate to see you go, but I love to watch you leave.

They’re not, but Lucas’ ass still looks good in those black jeans, so he settles for the best next thing.

“When are you gonna let me have a feel at your perky butt, Lallemant?” He calls out.

Lucas turns around then, tilting his head to the side.

There’s a sudden rush traveling up Eliott’s veins when he watches the unimpressed expression in Lucas’ face; exasperation, fondness and something bright that only Lucas’ eyes have, all mixed in one as he stares at Eliott. If Eliott could, he would have Lucas, and only Lucas stare at him like this until the day he dies.

Lucas opens his mouth, and before he can say anything, Eliott knows it’s gonna sting.

“When you grow the balls to ask me out properly, Demaury.” He says with bite.

Despite himself, Eliott laughs.

He walked himself right into that one.

***

So the thing is.

The thing is, and Eliott knows that Lucas absolutely hates when there is a ‘thing’, so he’s never told him with quite these words, but the thing is that he’s in love with Lucas, and he thinks Lucas might, at least, like him a little bit in return – or at least he’s pretty sure that’s what’s happening here.

One can only brush their hands together so many times until it starts meaning something.

So he’s in love with Lucas. Lucas, who is the best person that has ever happened to him, the only person he trusts with all there is to see him; the only person, asides from his parents, who’s seen him at his worst, and then at his fucking worst.

He’s in love with Lucas, because how the fuck could he not? And Lucas might be too, and the thing is that he’s scared shitless.

“So,” Lucas starts when they get in the car. “For our next non-date you might want to bring a pair of spare underwear.”

Eliott would’ve laughed any other day. He thinks that’s why Lucas does it, because they know each other, and he actually likes Lucas’ stupid out of context innuendos. Because they’re best friends, and that’s how much they know each other.

When you asks me out properly, Lucas had said. As if this was a transitory state, and he was expecting Eliott to take the next, logical step.

Because Lucas likes logic.

Lucas likes science, and he likes waiting until the ice-cream is melting to eat it. He likes blueberry juice and pineapple on pizza, but he picks it out of the slices and eats them at the end instead of ordering a dessert like any other normal person. His hair smells like coconut, and he still holds Eliott’s pinkie when they’re passing a dark street on the way home from the club.

Eliott knows all this because they’re best friends. But he also knows that Lucas gets goosebumps when Eliott lets his hands travel up his back, and how his eyes go crossed when they’re standing too close at a party, and Eliott has to tip his head down to whisper in his ear – and then it’s not platonic anymore, or at least it doesn’t feel like it is.

So Eliott? He’s confused as fuck.

So instead of answering, he lets his fears run wild.

“Doesn’t it scare you?” He asks, hands gripping the steering-wheel.

He doesn’t have to turn to look at Lucas to know he’s frowning.

“What does?”

Eliott heaves a sigh. “This,” He says, and then as a clarification, “Us.”

Lucas makes a sound at the back of his throat that sounds a lot like an objection.

“Is it because of the shit I said back inside? Because Eliott, you know I was kidding. I’m fine with taking this, whatever this entails, slow.”

Every bone in Eliott’s body lights up with frustration. Because that’s the problem, isn’t it? They’re taking it slow, and as long as Eliott doesn’t overthink it they’re fine. But then when he does think about it; when his brain whirls, and whirls, and whirls, and eventually halts to a stop, the momentum rips him away or pull him closer to Lucas.

“No, or.” Eliott curses under his breath, knots in his tongue that he doesn’t know how to undo. “I don’t know. We’ve been friends for years.”

Lucas huffs. “Yeah, and I’ve wanted to kiss you for as many years.”

Eliott shoots Lucas an amused glance. “Way to take it slow, Lu.” He watches from the corner as Lucas’ cheeks fill with pink warmth, and he cuts him off before Lucas can start apologizing. “Maybe you have, but the difference is that you actually haven’t.”

“I guess?”

Lucas sounds as confused as Eliott feels.

This is the closest they’ve gotten to discussing their new dynamic since it started. It fills the car with a weird tension that Eliott isn’t used to feeling around Lucas, and this. This is what he’s talking about.

Of things changing, maybe for the worse.

He risks looking at Lucas at a red light. His insides churn at the sight of him, of his blue eyes clouded over and the slight pout on his mouth, forrowed eyebrows that Eliott wants to smooth out with his thumb, or maybe his lips. He’s pressed all the way against the door, his hands fiddling with the threads at the rip on his knee, and he won’t look at Eliott.

The sight hurts him as much as it leaves him completely breathless.

“I’m just scared,” his eyes go back to the road, but he reaches with a tentative towards Lucas’ seat. “That we might throw everything – this friendship, us, away if we take the leap.”

After a moment, he feels a thumb pressing down on his open palm.

“It scares me too, but what’s the other option?” Lucas asks in a small voice. “Finding someone else? Because, at least for me, that would destroy me more than trying and realizing we don’t work as lovers.”

Fuck, the thought of Lucas being with someone else-

He closes his hand around Lucas’ thumb.

“So it’s scary,” Lucas starts, “but we could be scared together, don’t you think?”

Could they?

The answer is yes, he thinks. They could. They could do anything, Lucas and him. They were fifteen and seventeen, and their knees were scrapped and there was blood running down his knee, and Lucas had looked at the fence they had jumped before looking at Eliott, and he’d said, “you and I, we could conquer the world.”

So that’s not the question Lucas should be asking, maybe. Less of a ‘could we?’ and more of a ‘are you up for the ride?’.

So in the end, he settles for less than what Lucas deserves.

“Maybe.”

They spend the rest of the ride in silence. There’s a soft murmur coming from the radio, a station that only plays rock songs, because they’re Lucas’ favorite, and he’s never been his own priority when it comes to happiness, but Lucas has. So he listens, for Lucas, turning his grip on Lucas’ hand until their fingers are loosely intertwined, because he might not be ready to give him himself, but he’d give him the universe if he tried.

At the end, they part with a joke.

“So there’s really no strippers tomorrow?” Eliott asks, just to be annoying, and because he knows it’ll make Lucas smile.

It does.

Lucas huffs, but there’s a hidden smile in the corner of his mouth when he looks down to unfasten his seatbelt, and the last rays of sunlight reflect on his eyes when they dance over towards Eliott’s face.

“No Eliott, there’s no strippers.”

His hand leaves Eliott’s hold, so Eliott holds onto the hem of his shirt before he’s out of the car.

Lucas gives him a funny look, confused little smile in his face that makes the butterflies in Eliott’s stomach go into haywire.

“What’s up?”

“I just.” Eliott shrugs. Lucas eyes him suspiciously, and he laughs. “I hope I’ll still get to see someone naked anyway, that’s all.”

Lucas snorts. “I’m getting out of the car now, thank you.”

Eliott beams. “See you tomorrow, Lu.”

I’m sorry I’m such a coward, he doesn’t say.

Lucas might have understood anyway, because his eyes are the color of the summer sea, and his hand is warm on Eliott’s shoulder when he leans in to press a small kiss to his cheek before leaving the car.

“See you tomorrow.”

Eliott smells summer breeze and strawberry chapstick all the way home.

***

When Lucas goes over to Eliott’s apartment the next afternoon, Eliott lets himself get pulled by his t-shirt towards the door.

“We’re late, c’mon you ass!” Lucas says loudly. “Up, up, up!”

Eliott trails right behind him. There’s still a hand gripping the front of his t-shirt, so he curls his fingers around the wrist and keeps it there, smiling at the back of Lucas’ head as Lucas goes on and on about how ungrateful he is, and I can’t believe I got here and you were in your fucking pajamas, Eliott, everyone is waiting at the park already!

That makes Eliott pause.

“Wait. We’re not throwing the party here?”

Lucas looks over his shoulder, an expression on his face so familiar that Eliott instantly knows he’s mentally plotting all the ways he can smack him against a pole and make it look an accident. He’s in love with a psychopath gremlin.

Speaking of poles though-

“No?” Lucas asks, effectively cutting Eliott’s thoughts off. “Do you honestly think we can fit all of our friends here?”

Lucas has a point. In his defense, out of all the holes Idriss meticulously blew in his plot, he never mentioned a space problem. So he’s not the only idiot here.

Maybe Lucas is just smarter than everyone else.

“I just thought – nevermind.” He shakes his head, putting his shoes on at the entrance before standing up. Taking Lucas’ hand in his, he smiles when Lucas squeezes them. “Lead the way.”

Lucas stops him. “Hey,” he says, turning his body towards Eliott, and with his free hand he wraps it around Eliott’s neck. “Happy birthday, Eli.”

Eliott sneaks his arm around Lucas’ middle, pulling him closer. “Thank you.” He says into Lucas’ hair. “You’re the best.”

He feels warm lips on his neck, a tug at their joined hands, and his heart swells with love.

When they get to the park Idriss takes a good look at their joint hands, and then he’s walking away, hands on his stomach as he wheezes all the way towards the snacks table. Eliott fucking hates him.

“So you really had Lucas all figured out, huh?” Idriss asks a while later.

The sun is setting already, and they’re two of the few people that are still around besides Emma, Yann and Imane. Eliott looks around, searching for Lucas’ frame, smiling when he finds him folding plastic tables.

For a fleeting moment Lucas looks back and waves, beaming happily.

Eliott beams back.

“I swear I’m usually better at reading him than this.” He says.

“Hmm.”

They leave not long after. Packing everything up in the backseat of Yann’s old van, they leave the park as they found it.

Eliott insists on lingering for a little while longers, arms full of hugs and mouth full of gratefulness, because sometimes he still can’t believe he drew the long straw in life. He doesn’t really get it, he’s certainly done enough things to elicit exactly the opposite of love, but when he finds Lucas  looming by a near tree, a small proud smile on his face – as if he’s proud that Eliott was born 22 years ago.                    

It’s something that Eliott doesn’t get, but as he smiles back at Lucas over Imane’s shoulder, he thinks he doesn’t need to.

On the way back home, Eliott drags Lucas to the nearest McDonald’s, and Lucas laughs like he knows something that Eliott doesn’t. He gets large fries and a milkshake, because although Lucas is a little shit that is still smiling at him teasingly, he knows it’s Lucas’ favorite.

Lucas’ breath smells like chocolate when he leans in to drop a thankful kiss to Eliott’s cheek, and Eliott thinks that he’ll take all the teasing in the world if it’ll always earn him whipped cream lips-shaped pints.

“Okay.” Lucas walks backwards towards Eliott’s apartment door. “Close your eyes now.”

Eliott watches, a lot confused and a lot amused as Lucas hits the door with his back. He places the empty cup on the stair railing, that Lucas had so charismatically put in his hand when he’d finished it, before fishing his keys out of his back pocket.

He jiggles them in Lucas’ direction. “Maybe you might need this if you wanna get in?”

“Oops,” Lucas grimaces. In one swift movement he steals them from Eliott’s hold, and then he’s back at the door. “Okay, now close your eyes.”

“Why?”

Lucas looks at him like he’s an idiot. “Because your surprise is in there.”

“Really?” He says, and he takes one a step closer to Lucas.

He tries to suppress his laughter at the look of utter confusion in Lucas’ face as he pulls on the loops of his jeans, making Lucas stumble slightly towards him.

“What are you doing?”

“I’m just checking that you’re not wearing that gold underwear.” Eliott says teasingly, pulling harder at the loops and making Lucas yelp. “I’m still not entirely convinced tonight won’t end up in some stripping.”

Lucas honks out a startled laughter, loud and obnoxious in a way it should be unattractive, but it only makes Eliott’s inside melt.

“Fuck, you’re annoying.” Lucas groans, pushing him away. He takes Eliott’s hands and puts them over Eliott’s eyes. “Now behave, and close your eyes. Don’t peek.”

“I won’t.”

He stays true to his words. He doesn’t peek when he hears the keys jiggle, or when Lucas unlocks the door. His heart thrums with excitement, but he doesn’t peak when he hears footsteps walking away from him. He does bounce on the heel of his shoes, smile threatening to split his face in half as he waits for Lucas to give him the green light.

“Okay, you can open your eyes now.” He hears from inside the apartment.

Eliott does.

His hands fall limply at his sides. There’s a gasp trapped inside his chest, dampness in his eyes when his gaze falls on the fluffly little thing nestled in Lucas’ arms.

“Oh my god.” He says. He stays pinned in place, his knees trembling under him, but still, he finds enough strength to take two long strides inside the apartment before closing the door. “You did not, oh my god Lu.”

Lucas smiles softly at him, before looking back down at his arms. “I did. Come say hi.”

Eliott walks closer towards him, until he’s fitting his hands over Lucas’ hold.

“Oh fuck.” He whimpers. With one careful hand he brushes down the puppy’s back, eyes springing with a new wave of tears when he feels the soft puffs of black hair between his fingers. “Oh my god, hello little thing.”

He watches, completely captivated, the rise and fall of its little chest. He brushes his fingers between the ears, slowly, and the puppy lifts its head up, blinking up at him.

“You’re so fucking cute. How are you so cute?” Eliott whispers “He’s just like-“

“Yeah.” Lucas interrupts him. “I remember when you told me that, you know? One of the first nights I stayed over at your house. You thought I was gonna run the other way when you told me about your bipolar, I could see it in your eyes.” He confesses. He joins Eliott on the floor, sitting in front of him, brushing his hand up and down the dog’s fur. “And then you told me about the one that got away. I was really sad for you that night.”

“Lucas…“

“So I promised myself that, when the time came, and I could afford adult things like food, I’d do this for you. I read that dogs are really good company, too, you know?”

Something inside Eliott shifts.

“Lucas.” He says with urgency. His heart beats hard against his ribcage, mouth dry, and he thinks that if he had to Lucas and go, he’d be fine with it. “Lucas, I really wanna be scared with you, I think.”

Because he gets it now. It never was a matter of who would ruin it between them first. It was about happiness, and when it comes to that, Eliott knows Lucas has been the object to his happy dreams since the day they met. And if he can make Lucas as happy as Lucas makes him, he’d give everything and anything to keep it that way. For as long as he can, until he can’t anymore.

Lucas looks at him hesitantly, eyes fitting between Eliott and the distance between them.

“You think?”

“No.” Eliott shakes his head. His knees bump against Lucas’ thighs when he crawls towards him, and Lucas’ face is hot under his palms when he cups his cheeks. “I know.”

Lucas breathes, chin tilted up. “Yeah, okay.” He whispers, hands gripping the back of Eliott’s shirt.

The world ceases to nothing when their lips touch. The sky might have fallen and the oceans turned blood, and Eliott wouldn’t know anything past the brush of his mouth against Lucas’. At first it’s tentative, lips against lips touching softly, Lucas’ hands spread open on the small of Eliott’s back.

His heartbeat stops then, just to beat with more intent when Lucas’ tongue swipes down on his lower lip. He parts his lips, letting Lucas’ tongue play with his inside his mouth. Their lips slide together, Lucas rolling Eliott’s bottom lip between his teeth in a way that makes Eliott’s toes curl.

Eliott sighs inside Lucas’ mouth, drawing circles on his cheeks with his thumbs. He feels Lucas melting against his body, and he smiles involuntarily. Lucas’ own mouth starts curling up in a smile, and then they’re just clinking their teeth together that, despite everything, still counts as the best kiss Eliott’s ever had.

“Wow.” Lucas whispers when they pull away to catch their breath.

“Yeah.” Eliott agrees. Foreheads pressed together, he brushes the back of his hand down Lucas’ cheek, and Lucas nuzzles into his touch. “Wow.”

There’s no words that can describe the lines the butterflies are drawing inside his belly. His body feels like cotton, putty under Lucas’ stare, and there’s so much happiness inside of him that he wouldn’t be surprised if it started slipping from under his fingertips.

To make sure it doesn’t go to waste, he presses the pads of his fingers into Lucas’ skin, and he only sighs, stealing another kiss from the corner of Lucas’ mouth.

Lucas kisses back, once, twice, running his hands up Eliott’s back and tangling his fingers in his hair, pressing kisses to Eliott’s face.

“I am very happy with this upgrade.” Lucas whispers between kisses. “Very fucking happy.”

Eliott laughs deliriously. “Fuck, me too.” He agrees, nipping at Lucas’ bottom lip. “Me too.”

He’s deepening the kiss when he feels something nudging his leg.

Pulling back, he finds his little black furball bumping its head against his knee impatiently. Lucas laughs at the noise of distress coming from Eliott, but his chuckles die down when Eliott picks the puppy up carefully, kissing its pink nose as an apology.

“You just wanted kisses, didn’t you?” Eliott asks in a baby voice, nuzzling their noises together. “Yes you did. Hello, you’re very cute.”

Lucas suddenly groans, falling back on the floor. “Fuck, I didn’t realize how adorable this would be.” He whines, throwing his arm across his face. “I’m not gonna survive.”

Eliott takes his gaze away from the squirmy puppy in his arms to flash Lucas a happy smile.

“This is the best birthday present ever.” He nudges Lucas’ foot with his own. “Thank you.”

He doesn’t notice Lucas inching closer to him, too busy running his hand down the puppy’s nose. His hand covers its face, making the puppy chase his fingers with a jerk of its head, wiggling its tongue excitedly when Eliott moves his hand closer.

There’s an arm wrapping around his back, and Eliott blinks, head turning to the side to find Lucas curling against him.

“What are you gonna call him?” Lucas asks. His eyes are soft, soft, soft, and he’s cupping the dog’s head with his hand as he smiles up at Eliott.

Eliott takes a good look at him. He’s small, black all around, and when Eliott stops his motions down his back the puppy blinks up at him with confused little sea eyes. His heart fills with love.

“Lucas.”

Lucas squeaks. “No fucking way you’re naming your dog after me, mister.”

Eliott grins, scratching between the puppy’s ears. “No?”

“God, no.” Lucas huffs, shaking his head decidedly. “Imagine when we have s-“ he stops himself, face flushed red when he stammers out a rushed “I mean-”, and Eliott laughs loudly.

He laughs loudly as Lucas hides his red cheeks in the crook of his shoulder, keeps laughing when he feels a weak punch on his shoulder, and when Lucas complains in a whine to please just stop laughing, oh my god.

“You’re really eager, aren’t you?” Eliott asks teasingly, moving his hand to cup the back of Lucas’ neck. He plays with the short hairs he finds there, smiling to himself when he feels Lucas’ smile pressed to his skin.

“Oh, fuck off.”

“No, but I agree. I wouldn’t want this little guy to scratch the door down whenever I scream your name.” He says, and Lucas breath hitches. He decides not to comment on it. “What about Blue?”

Lucas unburies his face from Eliott’s neck. “Blue?”

“Yeah, look at his eyes. They remind me of yours.” He says, bringing the puppy closer to their faces.

In cue, the puppy stares at them with deep blue eyes. And then he yips.

“So Blue then?” Lucas asks with a grin. Happiness looks good on him, so overwhelmingly good that when he turns to check on Eliott, Eliott can’t help but a sneak a kiss to his jaw before nodding. Lucas cups his hand, where it’s holding the puppy’s head, and curls his fingers around it. “Welcome to the family, baby.”

There’s a second where they’re both quiet, and then Eliott breaks the silence.

“Does that mean I can call you daddy now?”

Lucas takes Blue from Eliott, sneering. “Fucking shut up, or I swear to God I’m taking this dog with me and you’ll never again hear from either of us.”

Some things never change, Eliott thinks, and the thought brings him peace.

Lucas has light in his eyes when they look at each other, and his nose scrunches up the closer Eliott gets.

“I’m sure I could persuade you.” He says, wiggling his fingers in Lucas’ face.

“Eliott- no.” Lucas warns. His warning falls on deaf ears, because one second later Eliott’s fingers are dancing all around his body, tickling under his chin and digging into his sides. “No, no, stop!” Lucas shrieks between bursts of laugher. Blue yips happily at his side, licking sloppy stripes on Lucas’ cheek that only make him laugh harder. “Blue, help me!”

“Go Blue! Knock him out!” Eliott cheers, and their happiness echoes through the four walls of his living room. “Good boy!”

Blue’s tail wiggles against the wooden floor loudly, as loud as Lucas’ shrieks of laughter, and when Eliott looks down, he knows. This is his family now.

Lucas had asked him just yesterday, if they could be scared together. As he looks down at the boy squirming under his hands, laughing so freely, it’s hard to remember what he was supposed to be scared of in the first place.

***

He wakes up to something tickling his forehead.

“You can’t sleep on my face, okay baby?” Cracking one eye open, he finds himself face first with a mop of messy brown hair. A naked neck followed by a naked shower, Lucas’ warm skin under his arm where it’s curled around his waist, and a wiggling tail between their heads. “I know it’s scary to be all the way down there on your own, which is why I let you up here last night, but no sleeping on my face, okay?”

Blue only yips happily, and Eliott tries to snort. What comes out is more of a snuffle that he presses against Lucas’ back. Lucas tucks Blue under his chin before grabbing Eliott’s arm, bringing it up to eye level, and drops a kiss to the back of his hand.

“Go back to sleep, my love.” He says.

And Eliott smiles.

He sleeps.

[asotin]

I saw the movie Shoplifters a while back and couldn’t get the thought of something similar happening with Naruto and Iruka out of my head, so here’s 5.5k of me playing around in a universe where Iruka finds Naruto and takes him in on his own

Iruka watches the kid devour the cup ramen Iruka gave him. The unmistakable, whisker-shaped scars on his face are stark on his baby-round cheeks, but, given the world they live in, he asks just in case.

"So," Iruka says, pointing at the kid with his chopsticks, "what's your name?"

Wariness gone now that there's food in his belly, the kid grins up at him. It's wide and guileless. "Uzumaki Naruto!"

As Iruka thought- he brought the Nine Tails' jinchuuriki home.

"Hey, hey,” Naruto says, excitement pouring off him, “what's your name?"

There's no harm in giving him a name. It won't matter to him for long; Naruto will be back out in the world tomorrow, Iruka already fading from memory before the door shuts behind him.

"Umino Iruka," Iruka tells him. “Nice to meet you.”

"Do you live here on your own?" Naruto asks, eyes wide as he glances around. He looks like he's never seen anything more impressive than Iruka’s little apartment.

"I'm all that's left of my family, yeah," Iruka says, skirting the reason why he's an orphan. He's spent years hating and fearing the monster that destroyed the village and killed his parents; he'd been sure that if he ever met the new jinchuuriki, he'd feel the same way about them.

Looking at Naruto, who can't can't be older than ten, Iruka doesn't hate him. He isn't sure how he feels, but as he watches Naruto hum to himself and slurp his noodles, the feeling in his chest isn't hatred.

This child was so desperate for any scrap of care, he followed Iruka, a stranger, home with barely a question.

Winter in Konoha comes fast and hard, but Naruto was alone in a rundown apartment with barely enough insulation to keep the wind out.

"You can stay here tonight," Iruka tells him. "It's too cold just to have this."

He gestures at Naruto's thin sweatshirt. It’s bright orange, which is what caught Iruka’s eye in the first place. In that part of the village, the flash of orange that was Naruto playing around outside had been unexpected.

"Oh, for tonight," Naruto says, expression falling. He rallies a moment later. "Well, thanks for letting me come over for tonight! It's really warm!"

It isn't. Iruka's apartment has the worst heating in the building- that's why he can afford to live here. The landlord charges less for each utility that doesn't quite work. In the cold weather, Iruka is always bundled up, but he finally has a place of his own.

Naruto looks like he's never been more comfortable as he settles in at the kotatsu and takes another bite, and Iruka has a terrible feeling that that might be true.

⁂

Iruka gives up trying to sleep when the silence in the main room is replaced by whimpering. He rolls out of bed, wincing as he does at how cold it is and heads into the next room.

Naruto is still on the couch, exactly where Iruka left him, but he's tossing and turning under the blanket Iruka laid over him. He's whimpering in his sleep; the closer Iruka gets, the more his stomach turns at the sound.

"Hey," Iruka says, reaching out as he walks over. "Naruto, wake up."

He touches Naruto's arm, and Naruto jolts awake.

"I was only sleeping!" he says quickly. "Promise! I can move if I have to-"

Iruka lays a hand on Naruto’s shoulder. "I know you were only sleeping. I told you it was okay to sleep here. You were having a nightmare, so I came to check on you. You don't have to go anywhere.”

Naruto curls in on himself, pulling his knees up to his chest and wrapping his arms around his shins.

He mumbles something that sounds a lot like “Don't I, though?”

Swallowing, Iruka steps back. He glances at the thermostat; the temperature is the same as when he left earlier.

"You didn't turn up the temperature. I told you it was okay to make it a little warmer."

"It costs more if I do that, though. You're already sharing food with me and letting me stay here with you. I'm not gonna make it worse…”

Iruka shakes his head. What kind of life has Naruto led that he already thinks about the cost of things like heat?

The apartment he was in flashes into Iruka’s mind. The absence of any adult to protest.

Naruto can't even be ten yet.

"Here," Iruka says. He holds out a hand. "You can share my bed with me. It will be a little tight, but we can fit together if we sleep on our sides. I don't want you to be cold."

Eyes wide and hopeful once more, Naruto takes Iruka's hand and follows Iruka into his tiny bedroom. His voice is soft as he asks, "I can really sleep here?"

"That's the idea. Now go on. Get comfortable."

Naruto hops up onto Iruka's bed and bounces with a bright grin. "This is a really nice mattress!"

It isn't. It's uncomfortable and uneven, and Iruka feels every lump. But it, like the apartment, was cheap.

Wasn't it the Will of Fire that kept Iruka clothed and fed after his parents were killed? Isn't Konoha’s Will of Fire what makes their village so strong? Aren't they better than brutal places like Kiri because they don't turn against each other?

"Thank you," Iruka says, meeting Naruto’s eyes. "Now move over so I can get in. It's too cold to be standing around like this."

Naruto does, and in moments, Iruka is back under the covers, lying on his side with Naruto curled up against his back.

“Goodnight, Iruka,” Naruto says.

“Goodnight, Naruto.”

Sleep doesn't come just because Iruka is lying in bed again. He can't be sure, but he has a feeling Naruto isn't sleeping either.

He's proven right a little while later.

"Thank you, Iruka," Naruto whispers. He's still too young to do it well. “You're going to tell me to leave tomorrow, but you were really nice to me tonight, so I'm going to remember you. No matter what happens, I'm definitely going to remember you.”

Closing his eyes, Iruka tries to make himself sleep, but his conscience chases away every dream.

⁂

"For me?" Naruto asks the next morning, looking down at the collection of bowls on the table. Iruka had to slip out and ask his neighbor for help making a decent breakfast for a child, which meant all the aunties in the building helped.

He's going to have a lot of questions to answer later.

Iruka nods. "We're going shopping, so you're going to need your strength."

"Really? Together? What are we buying?"

Iruka points at Naruto's feet. "New shoes." Naruto's shirt. "Clothes." Naruto's head. "Pillow."

Face scrunching, Naruto says, "But I already have a pillow."

"If you're talking about the thing in that apartment you were in yesterday, it's not good enough," Iruka informs him. "Another mattress is too expensive, but you aren't going to keep sleeping on something like that."

Naruto mumbles something under his breath.

"What was that?" Iruka asks.

"I said I don't know why you'd waste your money,” Naruto says sharply. His eyes are wide. “I'm just going back out there, so a new pillow will just get dirty, too."

Iruka lays a hand on Naruto's shoulder. Despite spending the night with Naruto cuddled up next to him, the difference catches him off-guard; he knows Naruto is a child, but his shoulder is so small, the world seems to shift to accommodate the reality of it.

"You don't have to live there anymore," Iruka tells him gently. "Unless you really want to go back, you can live with me."

Iruka had thought Naruto's eyes shone last night, but that was nothing next to what they do in the moment between Naruto realizing Iruka is offering him a place to live and Naruto launching himself at Iruka.

Despite the amount of noise Naruto makes as he cheers and thanks Iruka, he's tiny. From his hands, which are clinging to the back of Iruka’s shirt, to the little sandals lined up next to Iruka’s, Naruto is impossibly small.

He hardly weighs anything, and as Iruka urges Naruto to let go and eat, he's hit with a wave of protectiveness. Whoever let someone so young live on his own failed, but Iruka won't.

Whatever went wrong before, Naruto won't go back to living like that.

⁂

“Hey, Iruka-sensei?”

Naruto found out that Iruka is on break because he's a teacher, and ever since, he's started talking like this. It's so cute, Iruka wants to do something embarrassing like pick him up and swing him around.

They're in a changing room in one of Konoha’s cheaper stores. Iruka’s arms are weighed down by the weight of everything in them. They won't buy most of it, but it's good to figure out what Naruto likes and what size he is- at least for now. Given how fast Iruka’s students grow, Naruto is probably going to start hitting growth spurts soon.

Sizing up a bit should save them some money. Iruka’s parents did that. He isn't as good at sewing as they were, but he can handle some simple hemming.

“What is it?” Iruka asks as he casts a critical eye over Naruto. He's a little thin, but the aunties love him. They fussed over Iruka when he first moved in, too. He'd put on weight quickly, and given how often they stop Iruka to ask after Naruto, he’s going to fill out within the month

If any of the aunties is still concerned about the jinchuuriki living with Iruka, she hasn't said anything to Iruka.

Naruto makes an uncertain noise. “Is this really okay?”

Iruka sets the pile of clothes down and takes the first shirt off its hanger. “Is what okay?”

“This.” Naruto gestures expansively. “You know. Buying me all this stuff.”

“Of course it's okay. I wouldn't do it if it weren't. Lift your arms up for me- I can't get this on you if they're at your sides. Most of your clothes are too small or too worn out. Now, I’m not very tall, but it's going to be years before you can wear my clothes. So unless you're going to go naked, which you aren't, we need to buy you some.”

Naruto does as he's bid, but he doesn't look Iruka in the eye.

The shirt barely gets to his shoulders.

“You were right,” Iruka sighs. “This one is definitely too small.”

Iruka returns it to its hanger and fetches the next shirt, but when he looks back, Naruto is looking straight down at his feet.

Through trial and error, Iruka has figured Naruto out. One is by getting loud, which he usually does when he's angry or scared. The other is by going quiet, which is usually a sign he's uncertain.

When he's this quiet, it's best to be quiet with him. 

“Hey,” Iruka says gently, what's wrong?”

“It's just…” Naruto fidgets. “Are you really sure it's okay? I don't want to get in trouble…”

Iruka doesn't have any siblings and hasn't been a teacher for very long, but he knows enough about kids, especially Naruto, that he can tell when they're talking around something for a reason.

Squatting down beside the platform Naruto is standing on so Iruka’s face is a little lower than his, Iruka looks up at him.

“Why would you get in trouble, Naruto?”

“I can't afford it. The old man who brings the money tells me to be careful with it, and if I'm going to use it for the heat and my food, I can't pay you back. Not soon anyway…”

Old man? He must be someone Konoha assigned to bring monetary aid.

It's well-intentioned advice, but Naruto is ten.

Iruka twenty.

He takes Naruto’s face in his hands. “I'm buying you clothes because you need them and I can. I'm buying you food because you need it and I can. I'm not rich, but if we put your money and mine together, we’ll live happily. Okay?”

“But-”

“No buts! Honestly, thinking I’m going to charge you…” Iruka releases Naruto’s face so he can hug him. “Let me think about money. I'm the adult; worrying is my job. You focus on eating what the aunties bring and drawing pictures for me. That's your job. Okay?”

Naruto doesn't say anything.

“Okay?” Iruka prompts.

Naruto chokes out his agreement, and Iruka holds him until Naruto pulls away.

Iruka’s eyes are damp, so he wipes at them. 

“Geez, Iruka-sensei, you're such a crybaby,” Naruto says with a sniffle. His own face is wet.

“Hey!” Iruka protests.

Naruto grins at him, and Iruka has no choice but to tickle him until Naruto laughs so hard he can't stand up.

“I mean it,” Iruka says as Naruto catches his breath. “Money is my problem. None of this is a loan. You won't pay me back. Even if you try, I won't accept it.”

Naruto nods, and Iruka’s heart feels so full all he can do is pet Naruto’s head.

“Good. With that sorted out, let's get you some better clothes. Maybe something not in orange? How about a nice green?”

Naruto pretends to gag, and Iruka swats at him lightly.

⁂

At bedtime, Naruto lays his new pillow over Iruka’s arm.

“You need both?” Iruka asks, feigning affront. “Am I not good enough for you? Am I lumpy?”

Naruto shrugs. “Maybe I just want to keep your arm happy.”

He flops down heavily, harder than the pillow compensates for, and sniffs dismissively.

Iruka bends his arm so his palm is pressed to Naruto’s chest. Naruto’s heart is beating fast.

“My arm is very happy, Naruto. Thank you.”

“It better be!”

Smiling to himself, Iruka pats Naruto’s chest and lets himself drift off.

⁂

Naruto tells Iruka how much he loves him. He whispers it every night when he thinks Iruka is asleep. He promises that he’ll return the favor one day. In the daytime, he informs Iruka that when he gets old and has to be looked after, he can count on Naruto.

Iruka tells him to shut up- Naruto has suggested more than once that Iruka, who’s twenty, is basically middle age, so he should really be thinking about these sorts of things- and Naruto laughs as he runs through the apartment, dodging Iruka’s threats and pens he tosses at him.

They brush their teeth together, Iruka watching Naruto closely to be sure Naruto actually is brushing his, then lie down for bed. Naruto sleeps better if he's the little spoon, pillow dutifully draped over Iruka’s arm, or if Iruka lies down first and Naruto lies down half on top of him. He likes to lay his head on Iruka’s chest, and when Iruka lays his arm around Naruto, Naruto snuggles closer.

He's adorable and annoying, and Iruka already knows that he'd die for Naruto. He's a ninja; he'd die for anyone in Konoha. But that's abstract. As he drops Naruto off with one of the aunties before he heads to work, dying for Naruto in particular has the weight of reality behind it.

To give this child a longer, better life, Iruka would die without regrets. 

⁂

The first time Naruto knowingly does something wrong in public, he tries to exile himself before Iruka can even begin to speak.

"I'll pay you back,” Naruto says, eyes fixed on the ground. “The heat and food and stuff… I’ll pay you back. It’s probably going to take a long time, but once I graduate from the Academy and start going on missions, I'll give you everything I make.”

Iruka swallows a sigh. Naruto says he understands that Iruka doesn't want his money, but he keeps using repayment as a shield.

The Third won't tell Iruka who used to give Naruto his envelopes of money. They get slipped under the door when Iruka and Naruto are sleeping now. So long as they keep coming, Iruka can keep the two of them healthy, so he stopped pushing.

He warned Hiruzen about Naruto’s original situation and the problems he's having because of it. Other orphans should be checked on, too. It's bad for children to grow up on their own. Whoever this person dropping off the money is, he isn't doing an adequate job.

Here, in the street, Naruto hunches his shoulders. “Sorry, Iruka-sensei. I'll get out of your way now.”

"Naruto," Iruka says sharply. He knows Naruto too well to think this is a ploy for attention. Plots are messes. They're loud. They're growing less frequent. "You aren't paying me back, and you aren't getting kicked out.."

"But I took Gama-chan.”

He named the coin purse. Of course he did.

Iruka had told Naruto he couldn't have it, and when Iruka’s back was turned, Naruto took the frog-shaped coin purse anyway.

He'd handed it over when Iruka caught him with it, guilt pouring off him, and even though he'd dragged his feet on the way back, he'd returned the coin purse and, with Iruka’s hand pushing his head down, apologized to the vendor he'd stolen it from.

"I know you did.”

“Then why?” Naruto asks as he finally looks up at Iruka, voice rising. “Why aren't you mad?”

People have begun to stop and stare.

Skin pricking, Iruka puts his hands on his hips. “Who said I'm not mad?”

“So I should leave!” Naruto shouts.

“You absolutely should not!” Iruka shouts back. More people are stopping to watch, and he can feel them confirming to themselves that this is how a monster is born. His hands clenched into fists as he tries to calm himself down. “You are ten years old. You stole a coin purse.” Squatting down, Iruka meets Naruto’s eyes. “You gave the coin purse back. You apologized to the man you stole it from. You won't make a habit of stealing, right?”

Naruto nods.

“Then you've done everything you should and we can move on. Right?”

Iruka raises his eyebrows.

Naruto fidgets and looks away.

“How many times have I told you that you don't get to pay me?” Iruka asks. “Ten? Twenty?”

Naruto shrugs. “Lots.”

Not just “lots”. Too many times. So many times that Iruka has gone to Mizuki, Daikoku, and Suzume to ask if any of their students have been as fixated on repayment as Naruto. He's never had a student who was, and to his relief and concern, neither has either of them.

If only Iruka’s parents were alive. They'd know what to do.

For all Iruka knows, he's making everything worse.

“Someday,” Iruka sighs, “I’m going to convince you that you don't have to give me anything for me to care about you.”

Naruto blinks at him, mouth moving but no words coming out.

Iruka straightens up. “Good boy. According to the Akimichi girl in my class, the pond with the really big koi is nearby. You still want to go see them, right?”

He holds his hand out, palm up.

Naruto glances between it and Iruka's face. "Sensei?"

"It isn't like you to steal,” Iruka says slowly. “That won't be the case if you do it again, so don't think you'll just get away with taking things in the future! But this was the first time, and I want to spend the day looking at fish with you.

“And who knows? Maybe we’ll even see some real frogs. You told me about the ones in the book the aunties gave you, so I really want to see if we can find any of those, too!”

He lets himself smile, and after a moment, Naruto takes his hand.

Lifting his other hand, Iruka announces, "Okay! Time to go look at some fish!"

He drags Naruto forward, away from the crowd, and after a few questions about frogs, Naruto’s good mood returns.

The people around them look less than happy about Iruka’s awkward facsimile of parenting, but Iruka has gotten used to the weight of strangers’ disapproval. Naruto is already taking the lead, confidently towing Iruka toward the pond despite not knowing where it is, his eyes bright as he chatters about frogs.

Baby-round and glowing, he’s the best part of Iruka’s life.

Iruka bites the inside of his cheek as Naruto gestures expansively to indicate how big koi can get, and hopes he’s doing this right.

⁂

Naruto, who spent an hour making Iruka carry him around on top of the water in search of the coolest fish and signs of frogs, is practically asleep on his feet by the time they leave the pond. He's still small enough for Iruka to get away with it, so Iruka scoops him up and sets him over Iruka’s shoulder.

“Sensei,” Naruto protests sleepily.

“Go to sleep,” Iruka tells him. “You can yell at me when you wake up.”

Naruto yawns and mumbles something into Iruka’s shoulder blade that Iruka doesn't catch.

He heads back the way they came, and Naruto quickly falls asleep.

They reach the stall where Naruto took Gama-chan. Iruka shouldn't do what he's thinking of. It will only reinforce in Naruto’s head that he can break rules and get away with it.

Naruto is a jinchuuriki. He of all people has to understand consequences.

He’s also ten years old and fast asleep.

Iruka ducks his head in embarrassment as he turns to the vendor and purchases the coin purse Naruto was so stuck on.

If he still likes it when his birthday comes around, he can have it. If not, Iruka can use it to bribe his students.

⁂

Naruto hugs Iruka after they finish brushing their teeth.

“I love you, Iruka-sensei,” he says, his face pressed just below Iruka’s sternum. He's squeezing so hard it hurts. “I really, really love you.”

Iruka returns the hug as well as he can. “I love you, too, Naruto.”

Naruto grins up at him, and Iruka doesn't regret buying the frog.

⁂

“I still wish you hadn't died,” Iruka says as he kneels before his parents' shrine. “Now that I’m looking after Naruto, I feel even more lost. The aunties help, and I’m really grateful to them, but there are things I want to ask you. There are answers only you could give me.”

He glances at the door to the bedroom he shares with Naruto. “I’m sorry you didn't get to meet him properly, but I’m looking after Naruto as well as you looked after me. Even though I’d still rather have you alive, I’m grateful to you for showing me how easy it is to choose to die so someone else lives. If anything like that night happens again, I’ll make sure he knows how easy it is for me. I hope that makes you proud!”

⁂

After much begging and promising on Naruto’s part, Iruka enrolls him in the Academy.

To lessen any suspicions of unfairness, Naruto is put in Iruka’s class but graded independently by Mizuki. It's a sound decision, but Iruka wishes he could have been Naruto’s teacher. So many things are difficult for him; he needs more attention than even Mizuki’s small class is suited to providing.

The gap between Naruto and his classmates is stark.

Naruto tries hard, but something always goes wrong. Even when Iruka tutors him, Mizuki shakes his head when Iruka asks about Naruto’s progress.

Naruto looks away when Iruka puts his headband on, and it feels like a punch.

Iruka can't fix it. He won't try to convince Mizuki to pass Naruto when Naruto hasn't earned it, but it's killing him to watch Naruto fail again again.

⁂

“I'll tell you a secret, Naruto,” Mizuki says from the tree he's perched in. “It's a secret everyone except you knows.”

Pinned by the kunai from earlier, Iruka shouts for Mizuki to stop.

Mizuki doesn't stop.

The one thing Iruka never knew how to tell Naruto, Mizuki reveals. He fills Naruto’s head with lies, then tells Naruto one truth.

Naruto looks up at Iruka in fear and confusion when Iruka throws himself between Mizuki and him for a second time.

“Why?” Naruto asks.

“Because we’re the same,” Iruka tells him. “Sorry I didn't tell you about the Nine Tails before, Naruto. I’m a coward. I didn't want to hurt you, so I didn't say anything, and you still got hurt. That's even worse, huh?”

A tear runs down Naruto’s cheek, but Naruto isn't crying.

The shuriken in Iruka’s back is slowly moving deeper, pushed forward by its own weight.

Iruka tries to blink the tears away. “Sorry, Naruto. This wouldn't have happened if I'd been honest with you.”

“He's lying,” Mizuki calls from his tree. “The hokage made Iruka look after you! He's just saying all this because he's scared you'll destroy the village like you were born to do. You think he cares about you? You killed his parents, Naruto!”

Naruto takes off before Iruka can disagree.

⁂

Cornered, Iruka leans into the tree he dropped down in front of.

“Why do you care?” Mizuki asks. “Why would you let that monster live with you? He’ll just kill you.”

Iruka sighs. “You're right.”

The monster that killed Iruka’s family and almost destroyed his village wouldn't hesitate to kill him if it could.

“But Naruto isn't the Nine Tails.” In his mind, Iruka sees Naruto’s bright smile. The pout when he gets in trouble. Iruka heats Naruto’s ridiculous laugh and his protests about eating vegetables.

He hears the progress of Naruto saying I love you, from the secret, uncertain promise to the absent-minded goodbye of a child whose love is secure.

“Even though he works hard, he's loud and clumsy, so people don't see how big his heart is. He's Konoha’s Uzumaki Naruto- and more than that, he's the precious child I love. You won't kill him while I'm alive, Mizuki!”

It's an empty threat. The kunai cut into muscles Iruka can't heal, and running the way he did only made it worse. 

His leg won't hold his weight.

He isn't thinking about his back.

Sorry, Naruto, he thinks instead. At least I made sure Gama-chan won't be empty for a long time, and I know the aunties will look after you.

Mom, Dad, try not to be too sad that your son died so soon. I promise I didn't waste my life.

It’s going to be a grizzly death, but so long as Naruto escapes, Iruka can face it without flinching.

Or he would have, if a streak of orange hadn't flown through the air and collided with Mizuki.

Naruto lands cleanly, the forbidden scroll held upright.

“If you lay a hand on Iruka-sensei,” he growls, “I’ll kill you!”

Every basic transformation and simple clone Naruto has failed to create becomes a matter of the past as he forms a non-standard seal and an army of Narutos appears.

Mizuki shouts for Naruto to bring it on, and Naruto, who's never seen a challenge he could turn his back on, meets him.

⁂

Iruka watches Naruto realize Iruka swapped his goggles for Iruka’s headband.

“Congratulations on graduating,” Iruka says. His chest is tight, and the longer he looks at Naruto wearing his first headband, the tighter his chest grows.

He isn't braced for it when Naruto flies at him, but Iruka closes his arms around Naruto and hugs him so hard it hurts.

“I'm so proud of you,” Iruka tells him.

“Of course you are! I learned a cool new technique!” Naruto crows.

“You did! But that's not why I'm proud.” Iruka pets the top of Naruto’s head, combing out some stray bits of grass and leaves. “You worked really hard, and you look happy. That's what matters.”

Naruto’s eyes glisten, and Iruka submits to another crushing hug as Naruto yells at him for getting hurt.

“Come on,” Iruka says when Naruto’s breathing has evened out. “It's time to go home. People are looking for you, and it's past your bedtime.”

⁂

Naruto is seventeen, and he just saved the world.

He's finally back home, well-fed by the aunties he's missed and sat down under his favorite blanket.

Iruka drapes it over him, and Naruto can't tell if Iruka knows why it's Naruto’s favorite. After all, it's very soft, and Iruka doesn't seem to realize how much he means to Naruto. He probably doesn't even remember that it's the blanket he laid over Naruto the first night he slept somewhere quiet.

They've long since moved out of that apartment, but the blanket came with them.

Sitting in front of the shrine to Iruka’s parents, Naruto looks over the pictures of Kohari and Ikkaku. He's always been interested in them but never been able to make himself ask. They belong to a part of Iruka that feels off-limits. Iruka would probably answer if Naruto asked, but it feels like overreaching.

Iruka is sitting at the kotatsu, grading papers.

“Hey, Iruka-sensei?” Naruto asks, twisting to face him.

Iruka looks up. “What is it?” He squints at Naruto. “Are you hurting? Sakura gave me something for that. Just give me a minute”

“No, no, I'm fine,” Naruto says before Iruka finishes getting up. “I was just thinking.”

Iruka tilts his head. “Okay. What are you thinking about?”

“Will you tell me about your parents?”

Iruka frowns at him, and Naruto’s stomach drops.

“I was wondering when you'd ask!” Iruka grins. He gets up clumsily, his legs probably asleep from sitting for over an hour, and makes his way over. “I spent so long dropping hints that I'd started to think you didn't want to know.”

He jostles Naruto’s arm companionably as he gets settled.

“So, what do you want to know?”

Everything, obviously. Naruto wants to know everything about the people who raised Iruka. Were all the men in Iruka's family named after animals? Were they kind like Iruka is? Did they play games with Iruka like Iruka plays with him?

“Do you think they'd like me?”

Iruka hums in thought, his eyes drifting to the shrine. “I do, yeah. You're difficult not to like, and they'd think of you as a grandson. Plus, you like ramen.”

“Ramen?”

“Ramen, yeah. If they were home at the same time, we'd go out to eat together. My father loved ramen, and because of him, my mother and I realized we did, too. Every time I go to Ichiraku, I like to think of it as remembering him.” He laughs. “That or I just like the excuse to eat ramen.”

He's still grinning as he looks at Naruto. “It’s a funny coincidence that you really like it, too, huh?”

Naruto’s eyes sting as they fill with tears.

Iruka loses his smile. “Naruto? Hey, what's wrong?”

“Everybody hated me,” Naruto rasps, looking down at his hands. “If they didn't hate me, they ignored me. But then you found me. You introduced me to the aunties and you let me sleep next to you even though I got nightmares all the time. You yelled at me to take care of myself.

“I think, if you hadn't looked after me, I might have become like Gaara. I was really lonely, you know? Before you found me, I was really, really lonely.” He swallows against the lump in his throat. “I don't know what having a father is like, but when I look at you, I don't feel like an orphan anymore.”

Clearing his throat, Naruto wipes at his face. “Sorry. I just wanted you to know I’m really thankful that you took me in.”

Iruka doesn't say anything for a long time, and as the silence stretches, Naruto’s heart sinks into the roiling mess in his belly.

When he peeks at Iruka, there are tears pouring down Iruka’s face.

Blinking hard, Naruto asks, “Iruka-sensei? Is something wrong?”

Iruka shakes his head and pulls Naruto into a crushing hug.

“You know that I already think of you as my family,” Iruka says. “If you see me as a father, then I’ll do my best to be a good one!”

Naruto puts his arms around Iruka in return. He lays his head on Iruka’s shoulder, squeezing Iruka tight just to be sure this is real.

Iruka squeezes back just as hard, and Naruto closes his eyes in relief.

This is real.

“You really don't mind?” he can't help but ask.

“Why would I?” Iruka counters. “Didn't I spend years welcoming you home? Isn't it my headband you wore? Do you think I’d pack you lunches and clean you up when you got sick just to shy away from being called your father?”

He strokes Naruto’s back. “Just try to get rid of me now, stupid.”

Naruto presses his face into Iruka’s shoulder. “You try to get rid of me, stupid.”

“No thanks.” Iruka lays his head against Naruto’s. “You're a hero to the world, but you're still Uzumaki Naruto to me. I’m going to love you like a father should. You better believe it.”

He changes the way he speaks at the end to mimic Naruto.

That's what sets off Naruto’s own tears in earnest, but for the first time, he's crying over his father because he has him.

[vaspider]

As promised... the story of how I was attacked by a ghost. 

So you understand, this is the house that I lived in at the time, 336 W Chestnut St in Lancaster, PA. This house still looks exactly like this today. It had previously been a large house with most of the property on that block being its yard, and it was divided into four apartments sometime before 1999, when we lived there. The whole first floor was one apartment, the second floor was divided into two one-bedroom apartments -- front and back -- and the top floor was its own apartment.

We lived in the front of the second floor. I was totally obsessed with this house from the moment we visited it, because I was 22 and it had a turret window. This was obviously the coolest place that any human being could ever live, and I wanted to live there so badly. The fact that it didn’t have laundry on-site? Whatever. The steep stairs? Okay, fine. It had a turret window.

Foolish child. 

From the moment we moved in, things started to get really weird. My cat Schlager, who had previously been a snuggly sweetheart and super chill, got a chronic case of the hisses and zoomies. She would never settle down.

Things started moving around the apartment: my glasses, my keys, my hairbrush, books, my laptop charger (yes, I had a laptop in 1999, I was that kind of nerd). I often felt like someone was standing next to me or leaning over me, especially when I was home alone, and I heard footsteps moving around in the next room when no one was home. 

When we’d lived there for about six months, I was sitting home alone at around 10 PM. We owned a standing mirror which is one of @mistresskabooms‘ dad’s most prized possessions because it belonged to his late mother. (And no, we never had any other issues with the mirror, it isn’t the mirror that’s the issue.) That mirror sat near the sink in the bathroom nook in our bedroom, facing toward the bed. 

While I sat on the bed playing on my laptop, I saw something moving out of the corner of my eye, and looked up, thinking it was Schlager. I looked up just in time to see a semi-translucent tall, thin man, dressed in Victorian clothing and holding a top hat in his hand walk past me in the mirror. Like, I was sitting on the bed, and I only saw him in the mirror, but his presence blocked me somewhat from view. I could kind of see myself through his body.

I screamed at the top of my lungs and leapt out of the bed, flailing around. Look, it wasn’t the greatest reaction, but what would you have done? Right. 

He didn’t react to me screaming at all, just kept walking. 

After that, I didn’t like being home alone much. It happened, though, because I worked at the time at a CopyMax and Matt, MK’s dad, worked at a bar. So I’d get home around 6 PM and often was home for five or six hours every night. I kept trying to get people to come over and hang out, or get out of the house whenever I could, and when I couldn’t do that, well. 

I got stoned a lot. It was much, much easier to ignore whatever the fuck was going on in my apartment if I was too stoned to give a fuck. My cat and I spent a lot of time basically glued together, and I covered the mirror whenever I was home alone, or turned it to the wall. Fuck that noise, I didn’t want to know if whoever that was kept visiting me.

One day I got locked out of this apartment at night, and climbed up the fire escape to break in through the window which accessed the fire escape. As soon as I started trying to force the window, something kind of like a mix between a siren and a howl started roaring in my ears. The entire time I was trying to force the window open, and eventually did, the roar continued. My hands started shaking -- I was terrified. Once I got into the house and closed the window again, the sound stopped -- but my cat kept running back and forth across the apartment for a few minutes as I shook and tried to get my breath under control. 

When our girlfriend would visit, or other friends, they hated leaving the apartment at night. There was no functional light in the hallway (a safety issue, but our landlords didn’t give a fuck) because the light was on the electric bill of the other apartment, and the old lady who lived there didn’t want her bill run up by a light on all night. 

When people went down the steep inside stairs in the dark, they’d hear voices whispering their name -- specifically, this happened to our girlfriend a lot. The first time she heard someone whispering Eva, Eva, as she left, she thought I was calling down the stairs to her because she’d forgotten something. Several times, when she was leaving, not only did she hear whispers, but she felt someone touching her face and hair. 

So yeah, I hated being home alone, and people hated visiting us at night.

All of this was nothing compared to the night I was attacked, however. I’ve mentioned previously that I was stoned a lot to deal with the fact that the house was actively hostile to everyone there, but I need to impress upon y’all that at the time this happened, I was cooking, and I was stone cold sober. 

Matt had gotten home from the bar, so it was around 1 or 2 AM, and I didn’t have to work the next day, so I’d stayed up to make dinner and spend some time with him. I remember very distinctly that I was making couscous (no celiac dx yet) and chicken breasts marinated in Italian dressing, sauteed with veggies. It was my go-to meal for late nights when we wanted something simple, yanno?

Anyway, dinner was almost done when Schlager got a serious case of the zoomies. I ignored it, because at that point, my cat freaking out a lot was sadly normal. Yep, she’s running. Probably whatever lives here is acting up again, and freaking her out. I’m gonna have to pet her and calm her down once I’m done cooking.

Now, to understand what happened, you have to have a kind of visual of the layout of the apartment. The front room -- with the turret -- was our living room and the middle window looked out from our kitchen. Between the kitchen and the living room was a breakfast bar, and the sink, stove and fridge were on the far wall. If you faced the stove, the living room was behind you, and all you could see was what was on the stove; standing in front of the stove meant there was a wall right by your left shoulder. 

Okay, so, I’m standing at the stove, stirring the chicken. Dinner’s almost done, yayyy! Schlager starts freaking out, running back and forth. Oh, great, well, that’s fun. 

And then I hear footsteps coming around the end of the breakfast bar. 

Now, normally, if Matt was home, the only shit that happened was the nonsense in the stairwell, and only then if he wasn’t leaving the apartment with us. The ghost, or whatever it was, didn’t bother him. It bothered Eva, and me, and our friend Blaine, but it usually left Matt alone and didn’t come around if Matt was home. 

So I assumed that it was Matt, coming to check on dinner. I turned, spatula in hand, to greet my spouse and tell him that dinner was almost done! 

Except... there was nobody there. At least, nobody that I could see. 

In the same moment that I realized there was nobody I could see standing there, something hit me -- really hard -- in my solar plexus and shoved me up against the wall behind me. A voice very similar to the howl/siren thing, very much not human, snarled, “YOU!” as my knees went weak and my legs went out from under me. I started screaming like my hair was on fire. I think I peed my pants. I don’t really know. My head started swimming, my breath was knocked out of me, and as soon as I got my legs back underneath me, I ran from the kitchen into the bedroom, screaming and sobbing, and clung to Matt. I begged him to go turn off the stove and dish up dinner, and wouldn’t let him out of my sight for the rest of the night. 

We moved as soon as we could get out of our lease, and moved into another haunted house, this one in Millersville. The Millersville house’s ghost was a ghost cat, though, and the ghost cat just liked to lay down on the bed next to Schlager. She was never any trouble. I was barely aware of her, comparatively, and only knew she existed because I woke up several times to the weight of two cats on either side of my feet in the middle of the night, but we only owned one cat. 

So, yeah. That’s the story of how I was attacked by a ghost in the apartment I lived in before MK was born. 

[nthnstrky007]

Unit Alias #1: “The Flow of Water Breaks the Dame!”

As the bullets whizzed passed my head, only one thought stood out from all the noise and panic around me: I know I should have eaten toast instead of that bagel this morning. It’s just, I get so tired of the same old whole wheat toast and almond butter; it’s not my fault the fabric of reality starts to fold in on itself everytime I choose something new for breakfast. After another twenty seconds of some mindless brutes trying to turn my apartment into a modern artist’s tribute to swiss cheese, a voice of remote reason finally speaks up:

“Leonardo Crews, please step away from the bean bag chair”.

I can’t help but roll my eyes. It’s her: Sharon Winstead. The woman who would surely be my handler if the US government had their way and I became a secret agent or lab rat or whatever the heck they’d want me to do with these powers. I stand up and make a couple steps to the right as I put my hands on my head. At least the government sent a nice pair of legs to yell at me.  

One of the armed boneheads she brought with her speaks up, ‘Why would you hide behind a froggy bean bag chair?”

“Cause who the hell would ever shoot a froggy bean bag chair?” I challenge him and the two other armored doofuses.

They all mumble and meet eyes until one of them sheepishly says: “he’s right…” 

Sharon, the not so love-able stick in the mud that she is, won’t let me have fun for too long. “Your work here is done unit Alias. Go downstairs and do the usual routine with the landlord; come back, as I planned, when you’re done”. 

A couple ‘yes ma’ams’ and military mumbo jumbo is thrown around as they leave. I can’t help but feel sorry for guys who would willingly join an organization that has the loyalty of a teenage boy after a positive pregnancy test. 

“Real smart fellas you have there.”

Sharon looks at me, I guess with a hint of disappointment. “You know as well as I that if they were going for the kill, you’d be dead”. 

“Along with a couple billion realtites and, knowing how much the universe seems to adore me, time itself. And what’s up with ‘your plan’ anyway? The military never came in guns blazing before. Don’t you geniuses know how important I am?” 

“Are you threatening us now Leonardo?”

I relax my arms at my side as I walk into the pantry. The universe is on my team, as always, when I see one of the only undamaged things is what I’m looking for. I walk out in a sufficiently better mood with my packet of poptarts. “I’m just asking questions that pertain to the continuation of existence itself”. 

Sharon scoffs and continues on: “Do you understand the magnitude of such threats, Leonardo?”

 I wave her off with my free hand after opening my second breakfast. “ What threats? And please, it’s Leo; I’m not an award winning actor, just a potential destroyer of the timestream” I see the red emerge in her face and can’t help but chuckle. It's a mystery to me how she was able to secure one of the most secretive and ‘important’ jobs in the world with such a short fuse. Despite the fact that she is totally unlikable, the babe has grown on me over the years so I give her restless mind a break: “Y’know I’m not gonna go awol, especially when you pay for all my streaming service. And, uh, time wouldn’t be destroyed, just altered in some terrible heinous way. Such as your occupation being changed to stripper.” 

She gives me one more uneasy look before moving on. “You have a place I can sit?” 

“You mean a place you geniuses haven’t shot up yet? Don’t make me say it.”

“The frog chair?” She groans.

“I do believe it's pronounced froggy bean bag chair.” 

She gives her eyes another roll as she sits down in the thing. “Can you sit with me?” 

Sharon likes to remind me that in some ways I’m still a normal human. An example of 

this being a woman with a face and a body like hers asking me to sit down with a voice like hers using a tone like that,  regardless of if she is a facist pig or not, I’m probably gonna sit with her. 

“What’s the prob Bob?” I sit criss-cross applesauce a yard or so across from her. 

To my disappointment, not exactly my surprise, she grows serious as soon as I sit down. 

“We can’t keep doing this dance Leonardo.” 

“Doing what dance?” I let out the question with a bit of playful innocence.

“That.” She takes a moment to think before she begins her spill. “The U.W.O is not going to remain patient. The fate of existence potentially depends on what you have for lunch and you refuse to follow the guidelines that we give you. You probably can’t count how many times you’ve been told this, but you’re an anomaly. The only thing we have to go off of is my father’s theories: the regular flow of time is completely dependent on you. Every decision you make can drastically change our world’s past and half the time we can’t even detect those changes. Not to mention, if certain parts of that theory are true, the effects you can be having on our future. Leo, history is a book that you can rip up on an unknowing whim and the future is more uncertain that it has any right to be”. 

“And yet we keep dancing…”

“Excuse me?” 

I look at her for a second thinking that she for sures knows where I’m going, but it becomes clear to me she doesn’t. “You’re coming here to warn me. The U.W.O  knows that you’re the only person I can stand getting yelled at by so they send you here every time I decide to live my life so you can flutter your eyes and tell me not to. How many times have you been here this month? I admit the whole shoot-em-up bit is new, but other than that this is the same old routine we’ve done for the past year. The  only difference is I’ve been doing it my whole goddamn life and you’ve been doing it for a fraction of yours”. 

The woman actually cracks a smile as she comprehends what I’m saying. I don’t know if it’s mocking or understanding me, but, seeing as I have nothing else to do, I let her spill. “You call this living Leo? I don’t know what you do to mess up the timestream, but, judging by the hours of footage that features you exclusively watching ‘He-man’ reruns, I sure as hell know it’s not living. What, you played a new video game? Flushed the toilet too fast? You’re not living; the life you’re leading is not worth risking history for”. The sarcasm and aggression starts to leave her eyes as she looks at my face. I begin to open my mouth in defense when she shushes me with a new, almost maternal, attitude. “But I didn’t come here to play our twisted game of house. I’ve been in contact with my father”.

The news strikes a rare chord of hope in me. Sharon’s father was the closest thing I had to a dad when I grew up in the compound. He was also the one who convinced the board of directors to let me out when I turned eighteen. “Let out” is an odd way of saying letting me live in a heavily guarded cell that just happens to be in an apartment building. He ended up deciding he didn’t want to be a mindless puppet and left the U.W.O along with all his research. Last I heard, which was a very long time ago, he was up to a more scholarly pursuit. “How is he?”

She smiles as she thinks of her father. “He’s getting philosophical in his old age. After he left, he started living like a hermit in some remote island in the Atlantic. A place they’d have trouble finding if they ever were to look; he’s getting into some rebellious stuff there Leo. He wants you to leave and come see him. He wants to end this dance.”

“By ‘rebellious’, do you mean some dooms-day shit?” the words come out as the hope comes out of me. “We don’t know what the reaction will be if I get in a boat or plane. We barely know what’s gonna happen if I leave this building again. Make fun of me all you want, but, you basically said it yourself, 80s tv is the only life I can safely lead”.

“He told me to trust him. If he’s wrong, the situation will be no worse than it was before”. I could easily read the doubt in her face. “Or at least to him.”

“So what? The world ending is the same as the world not ending? Existence is all a lie and it doesn’t matter anyway? Don’t tell me he’s become some quasi-intellectual pothead who posts on psychedelic-themed online forums.” 

She rolls her eyes in response to my joke. “He’s disillusioned with our current world authority. He lived his whole thinking a plantery world order would be a good thing, so much so he helped to achieve it. Apparently after all those years and work, he thinks their practices are going to end us all. The way he sees it, the world may just end tomorrow; it’s any day now to him. In a certain manner of words, he’s desperate.”   

“And you?” 

She gives me another genuine look. “I trust my father as a leader and I care about you. He believes it's the right thing to do and you can’t keep up like this. Some of the things I’ve had to do this past year is enough for me to give up on doing the right thing through the government. Your problem is a problem that we might be able to fix on our own and trying is a lot better than you just rotting here waiting to die. Any ‘director’ who doesn’t like that can screw off.”

I let my eyes widen. “No one’s in on this? Why’d you bring the unit with you? Surely the bigwigs wire you up before you take their dogs for a walk?” 

“Watch your words; dogs we are no more, unit Alias, at least, is on this. No wires or strings attached. The general consensus is the current plan of keeping the world safe from you is eventually going to collapse without change; I can’t say they have the personal stake that my father has with the way he views us as siblings”.   

“Can’t really blame them for being worried or not particularly liking me, but they’re not here because of  what happened because of my bagel?” 

“What?”

“You came here to break me out, not to punish me for eating a bagel instead of toast?”

Sharon pulls a phone out of her pocket and scrolls through. “Oh…”

“What?”

“The ephilfel tower was built in Germany”.  

[heartofether]

Episode 4 - Hungry, Hungry Bears TRANSCRIPT

[You can listen to the show wherever you get your podcasts, or go to our “Listen” page if you’re on desktop.]

AUTOMATED VOICE

Please state your message.

[THEME MUSIC AND INTRODUCTION PLAYS.]

VAL

Three-Eyed Frog Presents: The Heart of Ether.

[THEME CONTINUES BEFORE COMING TO A STOP.]

[PHONE BEEP.]

[INT. IRENE’S WORK.]

ADEN

[WORRIED] Are you really, really sure that’s a good idea?

IRENE

[SHE HUFFS A SIGH.] Yes.

ADEN

I mean, I just think it’s a bit late to be going out into the woods and such, right? If there’s really is an issue with the trees dying, then, then they should still be dead tomorrow. Not like they’re just going to come back to life overnight. [NERVOUSLY CHUCKLES.]

IRENE

It won’t take long. You said it was just off the trail?

ADEN

[HE SWALLOWS.] Yes, but I’m almost certain nobody else is going to be out.

IRENE

Exactly. It’ll be perfect for me to just get in and out quickly, then go home.

ADEN

But what if they’re not human? [HE PAUSES, THEN, FRANTIC] There are bears out there. You know that, right? Hungry, hungry bears. What if nobody’s there to help you when one of those big-toothed beasts tries to maul you with its massive claws?

IRENE

Look, Aden, if you’re really worried about me going out there, then I’ll bring a radio with me. I hereby promise that if I have any bear-related incidents, I’ll contact you, and then you can call for help before I bleed out and die.

[ADEN NERVOUSLY LAUGHS FOR A FEW MOMENTS BEFORE SPEAKING IN A DEAD SERIOUS TONE.]

ADEN

That’s really not funny, Irene.

IRENE

I won’t go exploring or anything. You have my word. Just in and out, find the problem, and then go home.

ADEN

[HE THINKS FOR A MOMENT.] Fine. Just come back to work tomorrow in one piece, okay?

IRENE

[SARCASTIC] I’ll try my best.

ADEN

Irene!

IRENE

Alright, alright, I’m just messing with you. I’ll be fine.

ADEN

[MUMBLES] If you say so.

[PHONE BEEP.]

[RECORDING ENDS.]

[ANOTHER PHONE BEEP.]

[EXT. THE FOREST.]

[THERE IS THE SOUND OF CRICKETS IN THE BACKGROUND, ACCOMPANIED BY THE CRUNCHING OF DIRT AND TWIGS AS IRENE WALKS.]

IRENE

I think Aden worries too much. He’s a sweet guy, don’t get me wrong. I just don’t think this is as big of a deal as he made it out to be. I mean, I’m just looking at some dead branches.

[SHE PAUSES.] There is a reason I chose to do this. Trust me, it’s not because I wanted to wander around in the woods. I tried to record this when Aden came in, but, well, it seems like I always get interrupted when I record in the office.

I need to think, though. There’s a lot on my mind, and I just need someone who will listen without judging me. [MUMBLES] Not that you’re listening, but, it’s not like I have anywhere else.

[THERE’S A MOMENT OF SILENCE AS SHE CONTINUES TO WALK.]

IRENE

I was thinking about what Carol said. Not about how I need friends, but about the person who lived in my house before me. I asked my landlord about it. He said the dude’s name was Bernard Kelly Valencia. [SHE CHUCKLES.] Which is quite the name, isn’t it?

Valencia was—well, to be blunt, he was a strange man. Hardly talked to anyone, but apparently, everyone knew who he was. He hung out a lot with this woman named Dorothy Wood, who I looked up. She actually owns—or, owned—that one bookstore near downtown. Open Eyes Bookstore, or something? Anyways, nobody knows if the two were together or what, but they met up constantly. 

Every time the landlord went over, he said there were papers and books everywhere. If he so much as glanced at any of it, or asked about it, Valencia would flip his shit. Dorothy was there a lot, too. Valencia wouldn’t tell anyone about what they were working on. Neither would Dorothy.

[THERE’S A BRIEF PAUSE. MORE FOOTSTEPS.]

IRENE

He died a couple of years ago from lung cancer. All his stuff went to either his son, the only family member who cared enough to come down and get it, or to Dorothy. She died last year, though.

The house itself must have a reputation, because I even found some people online talking about it. [IN A MOCK GHOSTLY TONE.] Some locals apparently think it’s haunted by Valencia’s ghost. [CHUCKLES, BUT SPEAKS IN AN UNSETTLED TONE] Not sure how I feel about that. 

[A PAUSE.] What were they researching? I mean, I don’t know much about Dorothy, but Valencia seems like he dedicated his whole life to whatever secret work they were doing. It’s weird as hell. Maybe I’ll never know.

I can’t stop thinking about it, though. It’s none of my business, I know, but still.

[HER FOOTSTEPS COME TO A STOP.]

IRENE

This must be the spot. I know you can’t see, because these are audio, not video. Basically, these hikers were worried about this big pile of dead branches, especially because it’s fire season. 

There’s nothing really exciting about it. Just a big pile of dead branches. The surrounding trees seem fine.

Huh. Wonder how they got here. We’ll just have to—

[SHE IS CUT OFF BY THE DISTANT SOUND OF A HORRIFIED SCREAM.]

IRENE

What—Who’s there? [CALLING OUT] Hello?

[FOOTSTEPS AS SHE WALKS IN THE DIRECTION OF THE NOISE. AS SHE CALLS OUT, HOWEVER, THERE IS THE SOUND OF BRANCHES SHIFTING.]

[EERIE MUSIC BEGINS PLAYING.]

IRENE

I swear, I heard someone. [CALLING OUT AGAIN] Hello?

[THE SOUND OF MOVING BRANCHES AND SHIFTING DIRT GROWS LOUDER AS SHE SPEAKS. THERE IS A LOW GROANING. IRENE, SEEMINGLY UNAWARE OF THIS, STEPS BACK TOWARDS THE PILE OF BRANCHES.]

IRENE

No one. That’s odd? Must have just been the…

[SHE IS CUT OFF AS SHE TURNS AROUND, SEEING THE SOURCE OF THE MOVING DIRT NOISES.]

IRENE

…wind.

[SHE IS THEN HEARD RUNNING AWAY. THE GROANING SOUNDS OF WHAT SHE SAW FADE OFF AS SHE RUNS. THE RUNNING STOPS, AND SHE IS HEARD OPENING AND CLOSING HER CAR DOOR.]

IRENE

[OVERLAPPING STATIC] Aden? Aden, are you there? It’s Irene, do you copy, I’m— [MORE STATIC] Shit, shit! [SHE HITS THE RADIO A FEW TIMES.]

[SHE STARTS THE CAR. THE ENGINE IS HEARD FOR A FEW MOMENTS BEFORE SHE SPEAKS.]

IRENE

[EXASPERATED] Oh goddammit, is this still—

[EVERYTHING IS ABRUPTLY CUT OFF BY A PHONE BEEP.]

[RECORDING ENDS.]

[TIME SKIP: HALF AN HOUR LATER.]

[ANOTHER PHONE BEEP.]

[INT. IRENE’S CAR AT THE SONIC DRIVE-IN.]

[”EVEN THOUGH YOU ASKED ME TO” BY ROSEMARY ROMANO IS HEARD PLAYING IN THE DISTANCE.]

IRENE

[TIRED] I am now sitting in my car at Sonic, drinking a cranberry slushie. I know, that’s weird, but I wasn’t sure if that…thing was going to follow me. I wanted to go somewhere public, just in case.

Plus, I think I deserve a slushie after what I’ve been through.

Would you even believe me if I told you? Hm. Probably not. Good thing you don’t have to believe me, then, huh?

Well, I heard a scream. [MUTTERS] I swear, if I go back and there’s no scream at all on the recording, I’m gonna—

[SHE TAKES A DEEP BREATH.] I heard a scream. I turned around and, uh, called out a bit, to see if there was anyone in danger. There was nothing, though, and there wasn’t another scream or anything like that. I thought I had just heard it wrong, that it was just the wind or a wild animal.

But then, when I turned around—how do I even begin to describe it? [SHE SPEAKS SLOWLY AS SHE STRUGGLES FOR WORDS] The branches rose up? The forest floor underneath them did, too.

It wasn’t like there was something coming out of the ground, though. No, it was like there was something in the ground that was trying to get out. It looked kind of like bread dough rising? No, that’s not right. Whatever it was swelled like it was alive?

Now that I think about it, actually, there were multiple things in there, throbbing inside of it. Squirming around. It was like a cat under a blanket—or, cats plural, I guess? This big—whatever it was, clearly not just a pile of dirt and branches—rose up, and I swear, this [HER VOICE GLITCHES FOR A SPLIT SECOND] thing didn’t have any eyes, but it was looking straight at me. 

I just ran. What else could I have done? I looked over my shoulder once to see if it was chasing me, but that was it. When I did, it seemed to be moving, though I’m not sure where it was trying to go. It was big. It would have been hard for it to navigate through the trees. 

Unless it could, I don’t know, morph around them? It didn’t seem to have a concrete body or anything. Just one big writhing mass.

[THERE’S A LONG PAUSE.]

IRENE

Don’t know how I’m going to approach Aden tomorrow. “Hey, so there was no bear emergency, but I did almost get killed by a really big pile of dirt that seemed to gain sentience. Why the radio silence, bud?” [SHE CAN’T EVEN BRING HERSELF TO PROPERLY CHUCKLE.]

Should I tell him? I mean, would he even believe me? Can I tell anyone about this? I mean, of course I could tell someone, I sure was more than willing to tell someone who— [SHE STOPS HERSELF.]

[ANOTHER LONG PAUSE.]

IRENE

Maybe I was wrong before. You would believe me, Rose. Right?

[HER VOICE BECOMES SAD AND SMALL.] I miss you so much. I know I’ve said that a lot, but I was so scared. I still am. I don’t know what that was, or if it’s going to come back. I’m at a loss, and I have no one else to go to about this.

I wish you were here. Not just some recording on my phone, but in the car with me. I wish I could hold you. [A WET CHUCKLE.] Actually, I think more than anything, I just need a really long hug. It wouldn’t be the same if it weren’t from you, though.

[SHE PAUSES.]

IRENE

[SHAKILY, AS IF SHE’S ABOUT TO CRY] You know why I think I kept doing these recordings? Why I could never get over you, even after all these years?

[HER TONE BEGINS GROWING IN EMOTION.] Because maybe, if I had gotten an answer, I would have been able to move on. Maybe you had drowned in the lake. Maybe you had gotten a job at a diner in California, with a new name for your new life. Maybe you just found someone else and were too afraid to tell me.

I never got that, though. I never got that closure. One night, you were there, and then the next morning, you weren’t.

And I’ll never know, will I? Because I’m just going to keep denying the truth and telling myself that you still care. That someday, you’ll show up at my doorstep, and like the fool I am, I’ll just let you come in. You won’t even have to tell me where you were these past four years, I promise.

[WEAKLY] ...I promise.

[SHE PAUSES.] But you won’t. You’re never coming home. Because I never really was your home, after all.

[THE SONG COMES TO THE FOREGROUND AS IRENE STOPS TALKING.]

MUSIC

That’s why I stay, that’s why I stay.

[A SHIFTING SOUND BEFORE A PHONE BEEP.]

[RECORDING ENDS.]

AUTOMATED VOICE

Today’s quote is: “I am not to speak to you, I am to think of you when I sit alone or wake at night alone, I am to wait, I do not doubt I am to meet you again, I am to see to it that I do not lose you.”

Walt Whitman in “To A Stranger” from Leaves of Grass, 1867.

Are you listening to us? Because we are listening to you.

[THEME MUSIC AND CREDITS PLAY.]

[alexander-turners]

Wallbanger (Chapter One)

Pairing: Roger Taylor x Reader (Ben Hardy!Roger Taylor x Reader)

Summary: Reader moves to a new apartment in London and she finds out that her neighbour is very sexually active. Thanks to the paper-thin walls and the banging on the wall.

Wordcount: 1752

Warnings: implied smut, humor… bad writing?

A/N: I’m so sorry if there are any mistakes. English is not my first language. Also Roger and the reader meet in this one lol. I forget to tell you guys that my cat’s name is Socks, I hope you’re okay with me using the name.

Also tumblr is not letting me tag some of you, I’m so sorry about it.

Prologue | Chapter Two

Unsurprisingly the next morning when you woke up you were in a foul mood. You sipped your coffee with half-open eyes. Of course, you didn’t get any sleep last night. How could you when people were fucking at 2 am? Damn the girl and damn Roger. You assumed that was his name after all the girl was calling him Roger.

“What do you think, Socks?” you asked, eyeing the boxes which belonged in the kitchen. You were trying your best not to think about Roger and the banging. “Should we start here or in the living room?”

He turned to you by his spot at the windowsill and nodded at the living room.

Ten minutes later you were sitting on the floor and sorting your VHS tapes, “Star Wars, The Godfather, Halloween, Grease…”

You put the tapes on the shelf and heard voices in the hallway. Damn noisy neighbors! You ran to the door and fell over one of the boxes labeled as ‘bathroom’. Yelping in pain and cursing yourself for leaving the box on the hallway but you still managed to press an eye to the peephole.

When did I become such a pervert?

Unfortunately, you couldn’t see them but you could hear their conversation.

“Roger, last night was fantastic.”

“Come on, love I thought this morning was fantastic too.” He said and according to the sounds, they were kissing.

They must have been in another room this morning, cause you hadn’t heard a thing. Thank God!

“Yes, it was fantastic.” She kissed him one more time before asking, “Call me when you’re back in town.”

“Of course, love.” He promised and spanked her bottom. The girl let out a shriek and kissed his cheek before leaving.

The girl wasn’t his girlfriend then. Just as you thought, he was a manwhore. What could you expect from a neighbor who is banging your walls at two in the morning?

He was Roger the Wallbanger. God that sounded like some sort of a bad porn movie, but it suited him.

Around 9 p.m. someone knocked on your door. You heard voices as you were on your way to open it.

“Oh my God, I will drop it.”

“Don’t drop it!”

“Then help me, Chrissie.”

You opened the door to find your two best friends, Veronica and Chrissie, holding a large box.

Their faces lit up when they saw you.

“Y/N!” they both yelled happily.

“Hello! I missed you two and what are you carrying?” you eyed the box as they held it between them.

“Can we put it somewhere? Our hands are numb from carrying it.” Chrissie asked, pleadingly.

“Of course, come inside.”

They placed it on the kitchen table and slumped on two chairs, breathing heavily.

“Please don’t tell me than you both carried it the apartment?”

“Actually we did,” Veronica answered, “we waited for someone to walk by, but we had no luck. So we carried it ourselves.”

“Open it.” Chrissie encouraged, as she took a bite from the chocolate you’d offered them.

You looked at the box with a red ribbon then you pulled it open. Your eyes went wide as the saw what was inside the box. It was a Kitchen Aid mixer.

Veronica and Chrissie laughed as you looked at them, back at the mixer then back at them.

“Guys, I can’t accept this.”

Veronica rolled her eyes, “Yes, you can.” she took a bite from the chocolate too.

Chrissie nodded, “Just promise to bring us cookies and pies.”

“Yeah!” Veronica exclaimed, scaring Socks who had jumped over the table to check out the mixer.

That night you and the girls went out to celebrate the moving in. You may have drunken a little too much tequila.

Veronica and Chrissie groaned under your weight as they carried you inside the apartment.

“You’re so pretty, Veronica.” You slurred and sat down on the bed.

“Yes, Y/N, I’m pretty,” she said.

Chrissie laughed and you turned to her.

“You’re so cute, Chrissie.”

She laughed even more and turned to Veronica, “She’s not allowed to drink again without food on the table.” She nodded.

“Oh, Socks! How is my boy?” you cooed to your cat who has come to check on you. He glared at you and left the bedroom, disapproving your alcohol use.

The girls pulled down the duvet and tucked you in. “Why is the room spinning?” they laughed.

“The room is not spinning, Y/N.” Chrissie sat down on your left side, Veronica doing the same on your right.

“What is that thumping,” you whispered.

“There’s no thumping.”

“No, Ronnie, I can hear it too,” Chrissie whispered.

All three of us listened. There was a thump followed by a groan.

“Girls, you’re about to get Wallbanged,” you stated.

Their eyes grew wide, but they stayed quiet. Then everything started all over again, just like last night.

“Oh, God.”

Thump.

“Oh, God!”

Thump. Thump.

Veronica and Chrissie looked at you with shocked expressions. You shook your head and shrugged.

“Oh, Roger…”

Then you heard… giggling. Well, that was new.

“What the hell is this?” Chrissie whispered, face red as a tomato.

“Oh, that’s the sexual torture I’ve been listening to two nights in a row.” you groaned and pulled the duvet over your head.

“Yes, baby!” giggle “Right there.” More giggling.

“She has been getting done like this for the last two nights?” Veronica asked.

“No, that’s her first night. Last night was another girl and she was naughty, who needed to be punished.”

“Have you seen this guy?” Chrissie asked.

“Nope.”

“Well, two different girls in two nights. That’s hell of stamina.” Chrissie said.

Another moan escaped from Roger’s mouth then the banging started.

“And here comes the banging.”

The girl’s giggles got louder as she got closer and closer.

“Roger, don’t stop,” giggle “Yes, right there!”

With one last moan from Roger and giggle from the poor girl, silence took over the apartment.

“That’s why I can’t sleep,” you whispered sadly.

“Holy shit!”

“Oh my god.”

The next few nights were quiet. You were finally getting full eight-hour sleep. There was no sign from Roger, you hadn’t heard or seen him. You were hoping that he’d left the apartment.

You pushed away the thoughts about Roger and the banging as the door opened. Freddie’s eyes widened and he hugged you.

“Y/N, I missed you, darling!”

You laughed and hugged him back. “You saw me a few days ago, Fred.”

“I know, but I still missed you. Come inside, come inside.”

A few minutes later you were sitting on the couch, sipping your tea.

“Y/N, how are you, dear?” Freddie asked, sipping from his tea too.

“Oh, I’m good. Everything is great,” you said, sipping more tea.

“How is your new apartment?” he asked casually.

Freddie helped you with the apartment when your landlord dumped you on the street with the pretext that his grandson needed somewhere to stay. You were staying at Veronica’s place until one night he called you saying that he could help you. Later Freddie had told you that he’d lived in the apartment before buying Garden Lodge.

“Oh, it’s great!”

His eyes twinkled with something. Excitement? Mischief? Whatever it was it disappeared as quickly as it appeared. “Something is bothering you, dear. I can see it in your eyes.”

Perks of being Freddie Mercury’s best friend. He could read you like an open book.

Your face fell. You have to ask him. “Can I ask you something?”

“Yeah, ask me whatever you want.”

“Did you hear anything from next door?” your face was burning.

“No. Like what?”

“Just-just noises. Late-night noises.”

“What a second. Late-night noises? You mean someone is fucking in there?” a huge smile appeared on Freddie’s face.

Your whole body burned, “Yes! And not once but two nights in a row.”

Freddie laughed like crazy, “Sorry, Y/N. But the last neighbor I remember was in her seventies and she was playing Frank Sinatra 24/7.”

“Oh, believe me, I would love to listen to Frank Sinatra 24/7 than listening to that torture,” you mumbled.

“What did you hear?” he asked.

“Good god, Freddie. I haven’t heard anything like this before! The first night, they were banging on the wall, then the same banging caused the picture to fall on my head…”

His eyes widened and he leaned forward, “You’re kidding, right?”

You shook your head, “No, I’m not kidding, and there’s more.”

Freddie chocked on the tea he was drinking, “There’s more?” he asked unbelievingly.

You nodded and started explaining everything. Around 10 minutes later you finished your little story, then Freddie said:

“Do you know the name of this guy?”

“I do. His name is Roger and I know it just because the girls were screaming it.”

Freddie was silent for a moment and… a little pale but he grinned, “Roger the Wallbanger, I love it!”

“I know you do,” you said and laughed, then the clock on the wall caught your attention. It was almost midnight. You quickly got up, “Good God, it’s almost eleven.”

Freddie offered you to stay in his house but you refused, you’d missed Socks, you wanted to sit in the living room and watch something on the TV, to get some sleep.

The last one didn’t go according to the plan…

You woke up at 1:37 am to more banging.

Thump.

“Oh, God.”

Thump. Thump.

“Oh, God.”

No! Not gonna happen, Wallbanger!

You scrambled up to your feet and whipped open the front door. You started pounding on his door. You were beyond angry and didn’t care that you were wearing a cute pink nightie (cause almost all your clothes were inside the laundry basket).

You were fuming when you heard the sound of footsteps and locks rattling, “Open this door, asshole, or I swear to God I’ll tumble it down!”

“Quit the banging.” you heard Roger and a second later the door burst open to reveal the man who made your nights miserable.

He had messy short blond hair and piercing blue eyes. His lips were swollen, probably from kissing. The thought sent shivers over your spine.

His chest rose and fell, trying to breathe normally, his skin was covered with sweat. He was stunning. He could be one of the most beautiful men you’ve ever seen.

Thank God he was wearing a sheet over his hips, but you gasped.

Underneath the sheet, he was still hard.

Wallbanger taglist: @quirkydeaky, @leeezie, @mrsmazzellotaylor, @shutup-sorry, @rogahtaylahisathot, @prettygiiiiirl @maggieroseevans, @crookedcomedian, @perrythefrickinplatypus, @laraspacegirl, @rhapsdior, @itissnowingandimstuckinside, @killer-genesis, @rogertaylorsbitontheside, @luvborhap

[kristoffsloveisntfragile]

Snow Day Spent Shoveling Away. Part 1

Rating: T (some swears, kissing scenes, mostly fluff)

Pairing: Kristoff/Anna

Summary: Modern AU; Anna calls Kristoff in desperation, as she needs to shovel her apartment complex’s front and back steps, along with the sidewalks in the front of the building. It was a promise she made to her sister that the landlord needed help with the incoming storm, but she went away for the weekend for her job. Her being the procrastinator she is, its the last day she has to do it and the snow is piled up. Will they be able to do it in time?

Notes: If you saw my tumblr post (a while back-sorry about that) when I shoveled the snow on the first snow day in my state, it read that I had a fanfiction idea brewing in my head the whole time I was shoveling. This is my first real time that I’m writing Kristanna fanfiction, I’ve written little stuff in the past, but it never made it past my notebooks/laptop. So this is the real first published piece. I hope you enjoy! (also i really tried with the title, idk if I like it still but there you go lol.)

~~~

*Vvv* *Vvv*…*Vvv* *Vvv*

Kristoff’s phone would not stop going off. He would answer it in a heartbeat too, if he wasn’t in a deep nap.

Soon enough though, his phone kept buzzing to the point it didn’t stop, and that woke him up. Being confused as to where the noise was coming from, he rubbed his eyes and face to shake the sleep out of his body. He found his phone slowly moving on the coffee table next to the couch he was on, being annoyed, thinking it was work trying to call him in. But it wasn’t, he looked at who was texting him and who were the missed calls from. All 43 messages and 4 missed called, all were from Anna.

Now 44 messages.

“Krisssss!!!!!!! WHY AREN’T YOU ANSWERING?!?!?!?!”

He chuckled, what could he possibly be dragged into now?

He sat up and dialed her up and put the phone to his ear. “Hey Anna, what do yo-”

“WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN, I NEED YOUR HELP BADLY IM GONNA DIE I’M IN SO MUCH TROUBLE!!-”

“Woah, woah, woah, relax...and what? What’s going on why are you in trouble?” Kristoff said with genuine concern, even though he knew Anna is probably just being overdramatic and she’ll be fine with his help.

“Oh my God, so basically this weekend Elsa told me that I needed to shovel the front and back stairs because our landlord is off on vacation for something this weekend, and Elsa would’ve helped too but she also has to go away too for her job or whatever, so she left just me in charge, but I completely forgot about it until right now and she gets back in the morning and she’s gonna KILL ME if she finds out I didn’t do anything this weekend!!!!” Anna rambled on.

Kristoff was still trying to process everything she said, you know, seeing how he just came out of a nap. He took his free hand and ran it through his hair, knowing what she was going to ask of him to do, but still curious how much a job it was going to be.

“So anyway….can you come over and help me shovel the front and back stairs?” Anna asked, but held back a little, thinking that he was going to say no and she’ll just have to suffer and do it herself.

He sighed a little, hopefully not too loud or too long for her to hear, and said “Yeah, give me 5-10 mins and I’ll be over.” He started to get up to put on his jacket and boots, when he heard a squeal through the phone and a resounding “THANK YOU SO MUCH KRISTOFF I LOVE Y-..SEE YOU SOON!!!” And she hung up. He smiled as he put the phone in his pocket and continued putting on his shoes.

His smile grew bigger as he realized that she started to say “I love you.” He was sure that it was just in a friendly way, because he was also sure that Anna didn’t feel the same way as he did. That thought made him go sour so he decided to stop thinking about it.

Oh well.. at least he still gets to spend time with her, right?

~~~

Kristoff drove to Anna’s apartment and took a space in the parking lot. Anna was patiently waiting in the hall inside the apartment to get started, and saw that he was pulling in and ran out the door to see him.

He got out of the truck and was instantly met with a leaping Anna, somehow managing to get through the snow that was up to her calf, jumping into him and hugging him and saying “Thank you so much again for doing this with me!” Anna let go of Kristoff, even though he barely had time to give back the hug. “I was literally going to breakdown and cry if I had to do this by myself.” Anna looked into Kristoff’s eye with grateful eyes.

“Well, you know me, always here to help.” He shrugged and then laughed, she joined the laugh, and quickly turned around to go back to the front hall and get the shovels, and he followed.

“So is it just these steps and the back?” Kristoff asked over the wind as it started to pick up.“Yeah, and maybe just a little bit of the sidewalk, so there can be a path for the people so they can get to the parking lot.” She said with a little uncertainty in her voice, still hoping Kristoff wouldn’t back out of it this early into it. But he still was going with it, like he said, he was there to help.

Anna went back into the hall and got the two heavy duty shovels “We’ll get different ones when we have to do the stairs, seeming how they’ll be smaller.” Anna turned to Kristoff and handed him a shovel. Kristoff looked at what they had to do and back to Anna. It was just flurrying out, and some snowflakes were gently placed on her hair, and scattered all across her hat. And you couldn’t tell from a quick glance, but since Kristoff was already looking, he could see the flakes that landed on her eyelashes and some on her cheeks, but some had melted, probably because of her warmth, Kristoff assumed.

Anna was gazing out at what they had to get done, and suddenly got a boost of confidence and said, “We can do this, it won’t be that long!” Anna jumped down the stairs. Kristoff was more worried if she was going to hurt herself with all this snow and possible black ice underneath.

“What area should I focus on?” Kristoff asked.

“Uh, from here to here,” she pointed to a section of the snow to the street, “That’s the sidewalk, and of course right here, so you know, you don’t have to jump from the stairs to the sidewalk. And a little pathway over there,” pointing to where they trudged through earlier, “So people can get  to the parking lot.” She finished with a worry look creeping up on her free. Kristoff knew to her it looked like it was more than she can chew.

“Hey, it’s gonna be fine. I’ll start the sidewalk, why don’t you do the stairs here.” Kristoff suggested as he went down the stairs.

“Oh the easier work, huh?” Anna pouted but still had a hint of a smirk, and came close to Kristoff, like she was trying to intimidate him.

“Well do you wanna be sore doing all the more tough work?” Kristoff smirked back.

“...No.” Anna scrunched up her face and went to the stairs.

They started their section and were pretty quiet as they were just trying to get all this work over with. Up until Anna came across a bump in the ...snow

“Ugh I hate it when this happens…” Anna kept at it trying to do it up. Kristoff looked over and admired the hard work she put into the stairs so far.

Anna started chipping away the block with her shovel until she decided to use her hands. Dropping the shovel, crouching, she began pawing at it like a dog. Kristoff chuckled and came over to help, dropping his shovel in the snow too.

“Here, try this…” Kristoff lined the block, dogging at the edges to separate it from the ground. Anna decided to let him have it. Almost thinking, ‘Less work for me though, right?’ And then she caught glimpse of Kristoff face. They’d been out there for sometime so his cheeks and nose were a rosy pink. Anna admired it, it looked like he was constantly blushing, and she thought it was cute. She didn’t realize she was staring for so long until finally got the block separated from the stair.

“Ah, there we go.” Kristoff gasped, then lifted the snow block. It was as big as Kristoff’s chest.

“Well no wonder I couldn’t get it, it’s as big as you!” Anna exclaimed. Kristoff rolled his eyes, “Thanks.” then laughed and tossed the block to the pile that both him and Anna started.

“I mean that in a good way. Why do you think I asked for your help? You’re the strongest man I know. And look.. You’ve got most of it done! I say that’s a job well done. “ Anna rambled on, probably saying more than needed.

“...Thanks Anna.” Anna couldn’t tell if he was actually blushing now, but it definitely put a smile on his face. He retrieved his shovel and went back to it.

Anna smiled too, but then realized that she made it sound like she was using him...she hoped he actually got the compliment she was trying to give. She turned to see him work, bit her lip, but turned to get back to the stairs.

Another while passed and both of them were at a point where they couldn’t stop sniffing from the sold and they were fatigued so much they were breathing heavily.

For her, Anna took one big sniff and breath and got the last piece off the stairs to the other big pile.

“Agh, yes I finished the steps!” Anna didn’t have the energy to jump around and be happy, she was breathing heavily, but very relieved. Kristoff was looking at her and did have a smile, but it was an exhausted one from the work he had done. He got the sidewalk to be visible but he had barely started on the pile in front of the stairs.

“Oh right, well let’s get this part, I guess.” the excitement dying in her voice. But then she looked to Kristoff where he was stretching his lower back, and then his shoulder.

“Are you okay?” Anna asked with concern in her voice and face.

“Hm? Oh yeah, it just gets a little tiring after a while.” He was still stretching his shoulder.

“Yeah, I’m starting to feel it too.” Anna stretched her back and the sound of cracking went all down her back. “Damn…And my hands are like, stiff from the shovel.” She stretched out her fingers too.

Kristoff sympathized and then really looked at Anna. She was pretty bundled up, but he could tell she was starting to freeze. He was thinking about just taking a rest, but he knew Anna would flip and say they have to get it done before the night is over. It was already starting to get dark out, and they still had the back stairs to do. They were both starting to get a little worried.

Then all of a sudden, an idea he wish he thought of earlier, came to him.

“Oh my God,” He started to laugh at himself as he was patting his jacket for his phone.

“What?” Anna asked.

He found his phone and headed to the hall in the building, and found the person he needed and called them. Anna was confused as ever, but a hint of worry as she hoped nothing bad was happening and he had to leave her to the rest.

“Hello?” A voice came through the phone.

“Hey, Sven!” Kristoff happily replied. “Hey, are you still at work?”

“About to clock out, what’s up?” Sven asked.

“Well, I’m here with Anna helping shovel her apartment building and stairs and such. I was wondering if you wouldn’t mind coming by with one of your plow trucks and help us out?” Anna’s face changed to pure happiness as she realized he was getting help.

“Yeah! That’s no problem at all! I have to take one home anyway to do my own driveway.” Sven replied an Kristoff was relieved he could help.

“Oh man, thank you so much, I owe you one!” Kristoff said.

“Awe, no you don’t… or maybe, I haven’t decided yet.” Sven laughed. “Just give me the address and I’ll be there 5-10 minutes.”

Kristoff was giving the address as Anna was bouncing next to him, being so happy that he did this.

“Alright I’ll be there soon, bye!” Sven said and hung up, and Kristoff put the phone away from his ear but immediately got attacked by Anna’s hug.

She jumped and hugged him and wrapped her legs around his waist and tightly squeezed. “Thank you Kristoff Bjorgman! I am in you debt!” She basically screamed into his ear. Kristoff returned the hug, mostly just to keep her from falling, but he was blessed with this hug, he felt like.

God only knows how long they hugged for. After a minute or two it wasn’t in excitement of getting help, it was just them wanting to hold each other. They soon realized it could get awkward any minute so they let go of each other, Kristoff putting Anna to the floor, but both of their hands still on each other. Anna’s on his shoulders, still sliding slowly to his chest, Kristoff’s on Anna’s waist. They looked at each other, both smiling and both looking deep into each other’s eyes.

‘Is this really happening?’ Kristoff and Anna thought, probably at the same time.

Anna cleared her throat as another thought entered her mind, deterring them from anymore thoughts of Kristoff.

Kristoff was concerned about why she looked away so fast, but it was probably for the best that they stopped what they were doing.

“Uh, how long do you expect until Sven gets here?” Anna asked, refocused on the task both of them were there for.

“Uh, let’s see…” He checked his phone and saw the call time was about 3 minutes ago. “It’s only been 3 minutes, he said about 5-10, so probably not that much longer.” He said

“Hm, well we still have to do the backstairs, but these shovels are too big for them, there’s more shovels in the basement. I’ll be right back.” She went to the door that leads to the basement.

Kristoff looked out the window to see if Sven would arrive soon. But he got lost in his own thoughts about how Anna’s mood totally shifted, like something in her head just switched. But that would’ve been a perfect moment for him to kiss her. God how he wanted to kiss her. They were practically close enough that a swift movement would close the space and seal the deal. But it didn’t happen. Would it ever happen? He wouldn’t know and don't know when he will.

Anna came back with two smaller shovels, definitely made for stair shoveling and waited with Kristoff by the window. It wasn’t long until Sven came, he parked by the sidewalk as Kristoff and Anna were coming out of the hall, met by the even colder wind than before.

“Hey guys!” Sven had a big bright smile on his face that you couldn’t help but smile too.

“Hey!” they said in almost unison.

“So where exactly do you need the snow to go?” Sven asked them.

“Well, I need this pile and pathway clear, and a path to get to the parking lot end to the back stairs.” Anna gestured with each place she needed plowed.

“Easy work! It’ll be done in no time!” Sven got out of park and went to work, and Anna and Kristoff went back on the stairs to get out of the way.

Usually plowing in a pretty small and enclosed space like Anna’s apartment is hard, but Sven made it look easy.They marveled at the job and were happy to see the black/grayish stone ground again.

Anna was beaming, but that didn’t stop her from being cold. Her teeth started to chatter and soon the cold air slipped into her jacket. She shivered for a bit.

Kristoff noticed her shiver, and asked “Are you cold?”

She looked up at him, “A little…” and then back at Sven’s works. Kristoff debated it it would be weird if he hugged her so she would be warm. But she seemed a little distant ever since earlier. He decided against it.

Sven stopped and called out to Anna through the passenger window. “Hey Anna, how much of a path you want?”

Anna walked over and looked down where the parking lot and the side of the building was. “Just do your best to get it all the way down, but make sure to put the snow in that corner. It’s a parking spot, but no one uses it.” She said to Sven.

“Gotcha!” Sven started up again, and Kristoff came over to observe.

Sven and his truck worked like magic, he got the parking lot done in no time. He drove up to Anna and Kristoff and said, “All done!”

Anna jumped in happiness. “Yay! Thank you so much Sven, you shaved off a couple hours for us!” Anna exclaimed.

“It was no problem at all. Well, I gotta do my own home now, see you guys later.” He stuck his hand out to shake Kristoff’s hand, which he reached out to meet it.

“See you soon and thanks again.” And with that, Sven drove off.

“Well we still have the back stairs. That won’t take long, let’s go!” She said with enthusiasm in her voice.

“I see your excited again.” Kristoff followed her where she was getting the shovels.

“Yeah, because when we’re done, we can have hot chocolate! Now, I can’t wait!” Anna bounced her way to the back of the building.

Kristoff chuckled, then realized, ‘..We?..’