#if he just be evil to live then evil he must be

[lustlovehart]

Modern Monster!Twst : Savanaclaw

Warnings: Murder, Blood, Reader makes fun of Leona, They all carry you, attempted imprisonment, Obsession, They’re all really touchy

Your fingers silence your phone, the caller ID on top telling you that evil incarnate’s little workers are calling you. Despite doing that, your phone still lights every time they call. With a sigh, you put down the camera in need of repair, and face the other way, finally answering them.

The sound of Savanaclaw’s Savana serve as unnerving background noise. Occasionally, it sounds like there’s breathing. But that just can’t be.

“Would you all stop?!”

“Oh, so now they finally answer.” You can hear Ace and his attitude drip through the speaker, whispers in the background making it obvious he’s not alone. Better yet—

“I hear plastic wrapping— Are you all eating my food?!”

“Yeah we are.” Despite the quick chain of no’s and don’t do that, they continue. Obviously they’re not satisfied though, as you can hear Deuce in the background say he wants to be grateful, but it just doesn’t quite compare to regular… “anyway, Riddle wants to talk to you.”

“You all forget, I live on the salary of one person—! Hi Riddle.”

“I insist you get out of there as soon as you can.”

Silently, you look around. The tall grass sway back and forth, ever so whistling as it moves. It’s dark.

And you have no ride back home.

Your friend was also murdered by some mysterious entities, but that doesn’t matter because you have no ride!!

“Yeah, I don’t think I can do that…”

“Why?” Truth be told, that sounds more like a statement than a question, but you answer nonetheless.

“… Someone— Something, killed my ride back… And they’re the only one who knows how to get back to the car…” you can hear Riddle sigh on the other line, placing the phone down on a table.

“Stay there, I’m coming—“ oh he’s doing that. Occasionally, in your moment(s) of need, Riddle or Cater simply, jump out of your phone. Somehow, someway, they can do that. And he’s doing it to save you! How great—

Your phone dies before you can see his transparency come out of your screen.

“Ah—! No, no no…!” You ball a fist, hitting the screen as you desperately try to turn it back on. You’re about to bang it on the floor before you remember how much it costs to buy a new one. Reluctantly, you put it back in your pocket. You’re still squatting on the floor, drooping your head in defeat.

But the creatures of night here seem just as restless. And you have no idea if you’ll get as lucky as you did when you met the others.

Maybe, they’re the only monsters that exist! They must be lying about others on to scare you! Yeah! Yeah—!

“Shishishi, seems a stray came into his majesty’s kingdom!” The feeling of clawed hands pierce into your arms, the scent of blood seeping into your nostrils. You can feel it stab its claws into your skin, but you’re too scared to turn around and face it.

… Shishishi?

“You’re Ruggie…!” His laughing stops when you say his name. Before he can ask you how you could ever even know it, you finally turn around, facing the werehyena. His breath hitches in his throat when he sees your face in the moon light.

“It’s you.” Quickly, you throw your head back, flinging it full force back on him. You can hear a loud crack (though you’re not sure if it’s from him or you), pain stinging through both you and him. His claws release you, covering his forehead.

Holy shit holy shit holy shit why would you do that?! At this point you might as well have killed yourself instead…! Ahh—

You double over, clutching your head. Despite it, you stumble, running in whatever direction you can. Not very good, but you’re running nonetheless. But, you can’t hold on any longer. Your head feels light, and the sensation of feeling your limbs carry your weight disappears.

And before you know it, you’re on the floor.

Ruggie stands before you, a sigh leaving his throat before his ghastly features retreat into his skin. The blood on his hands and mouth remains. He’s about to pick you up before he stops, wiping his hands of crimson before allowing himself to touch you.

“Geez, just what have you gotten yourself into?” Your head is tucked into the crook of his neck, your hand weakly holding his bicep. The sight is cute, he thinks. Though, he can smell strawberry on you, and it’s enough of a hint to tell him how you know who he is.

He frees one hand, gently massaging the sore spot with his thumb.

…

Your senses are dull, you can barely feel the snakes the slowly wrap around your arms and legs. At least, you think they are. They certainly move like snakes.

A bandaged hand rubs your head. Your eyes are blurry so you can’t really tell, but you don’t think he has a face, at least not eyes. If he does, they’re covered, only emitting an emerald glow in its place. He smells… He smells. Yep, you’re not sure what kind but he certainly does.

“Oi.” He doesn’t give you the chance to speak, poking your forehead with his finger. “You’re awake already right?” His next target is your cheek. With each fail to reply, the snakes tighten even more and more— Ah, they’re bandages…

“Is this some sort of kink play for you? huh?” Your retort earns no reaction, as he instead sighs and pulls you up by the cloth, close enough to be chest to chest, and nose to nose.

“You’re brave. You already know, yet you don’t care.”

He’s stupid. Obviously, you care! You don’t wanna die if you’re not recording it! Maybe you can headbutt him too— Yeah, no don’t be stupid. Despite saying that in your mind, your body doesn’t seem to listen, already leaning back.

“Don’t try it.” The man seems to already know, placing his palm on your forehead to push you back onto the table. No, burial chamber inside the tomb. Tomb!?

“Isn’t this like disrespectful or something?! I can’t just lay on top of this thing get me off of here—!!” You’re quick to swing back up again, shuffling off the surface into the mysterious guys arms.

“What? It’s mine. I don’t care.”

“You might not care but the person inside probably—! Ohhhh.” You’re stupid for not catching on any sooner. “… Y- You can put me down now…” his wrapped arms are positioned under your legs, carrying you effortlessly in one arm. It’s not like you can push him away, though, your arms are still tied together. Even then, you can tell he didn’t plan on letting you go so easily, the smug laugh that leaves his throat is proof enough.

“Why? You’re the one who said it’s disrespectful.” If you had the energy to hit him you would. Instead, you opt for resting your head on his, not even caring about the ear on top of his head. It’s like all your exhaustion has hit you all at once. He’s silent when you essentially start sleeping on his head.

He powers off the phone with your face on its screen, tossing it aside… For someone who looks a little too human to be there.

“Make sure they can’t get out of the Savana once they wake up, Jack.” He stays silent, only nodding. Leona can tell though, his eyes are only trained on you.

…

You wake up to the feeling of tall grass tickling your face. The spot beside you is empty, but you swear you could remember a body next to you, warming you in the cold. You don’t have time to dwell on the details, seeing that the mummy that held you is gone and… It’s daytime.

“Oh my gosh they’re gonna kill me when I get home…!” You whine as you thrash on the floor, throwing rocks into the grass. You can see it now, those two zombies are practically gonna be glued to you by the hip! They already are but it’s gonna be twice as worse.

Trey and Cater are gonna leave the apartment with you all the time, even if it’s just to water plants! And Riddle… You don’t even want to imagine your neighbors having to deal with him. They just moved in after what he did to the last one’s!

“It’s okay, you’ll be able to go home.” A deep voice erupts from behind you, but it’s soft in tone. You’re swift to turn around, a jagged rock in hand. But… you’re met with a regular human.

“… Who are you?”

“That’s… not important. Just go before they know I’m letting you leave.” He’s already picking you up, carrying you in his arms as he walks with determination.

“Wha— I don’t even know if that’s the way to my car—!”

“It is. I know it is.”

You stare at him, you really shouldn’t trust his judgment, but for some reason you do. So, you let him run into the Savana, your arm wrapping around his neck as you hold on.

Before you know it, you’re already at the vehicle, entirely untouched. When he puts you down, he beckons you to the car, hurrying you to get inside.

“Go, go before they know—“ your hand grabs onto his wrist, pulling him inside.

“There’s… Things here. You have to get out before something happens. You’re human too right?”

He’s silent. It raises your suspicions, but there’s no way he would’ve led you here if he were with them. You don’t have the chance to say anything else, your hand is turning the car on.

It quickly dies when the sound of the hood being banged open erupts into the air. The both of you turn forward, greeted by the sight of a mummy and his werehyena.

“No one’s leaving.” If you could see his eyes, you’re sure they would be terrifying to gaze into. Though, as he says his next words, you can feel that he’s only looking at you, “You’ll be here until time turns to sand.” Sand seems to be the correct statement, as dust and debris begins to whirl around, eating your surroundings. The hyena only seems to laugh at the recent development, Leona slowly walking his way to your side of the car.

Holy shit holy shit holy shit—

You’re saved when the sight of a red leaves the car screen.

…

You're sandwiched between Ace and Deuce, yet the sight is one you didn’t think to ever be in. Your arms are wrapped around their necks as you pull them in, gushing about how you think they were legitimately going to kill you, it was so horrifying!

“Cay-Cay says you should get a career change! I don’t think you going monster hunting is gonna get any better—“

“No no no, I just gotta stop going to actual haunted places!” Well… seems their attempt at getting you to stay home with them fails once more. Maybe they should just start locking you in.

“It would be safer than actual places, but I’d still feel more assured if you just quit altogether.” Trey places a plate in front of you, ducking a little so his head doesn’t hit the ceiling. His fork stabs the food, cupping his hand underneath so nothing spills. You always tell him he doesn’t need to feed you, but after everything, you finally take him up on his offer.

Occasionally though, your eyes shift over to Riddle, who just stares at you. He stares as if it’s your last moment of being his.

…

“I’m okay now you know.” You stare up at Riddle from where you sit, everyone else already sleeping in their designated areas. The moon shines through him, making him brighter than he usually is.

“But what if you weren’t?” You can’t deny the possibility. You were so close to dying (you think they were trying to kill you at least). Nonetheless, you let your hand ghost over his. Not touching, never touching, but always feeling.

“Let’s not think about it.”

He doesn’t say anymore. He only continues to look at the smile on your lips, unknowing of the new additions in your house.

…

Your eyes slowly peak open. The left side of your bed is suspiciously empty, the side Deuce would typically occupy. Though… Ace feels different. He’s lacking the missing limbs and torn skin from under that blanket.

The familiar sound of snoring interrupts your train of thought. Those snores aren’t coming from the bed, but rather your floor… You lift the blanket swiftly, welcomed to the sight of a handsome mummy hugging your waist, his bandages slowly encasing your bare skin in him.

His head turns towards you, a smile filled with cockiness plaguing your view. You don’t even have the chance to yell for Riddle before Leona’s pulling you into him, his palm covering your mouth.

“Ah ah, we’re just poor party performers looking for refuge. You’re not gonna send your guard dogs to kill us are you?” … He’s right, Riddle and the rest of them would definitely jump at the chance to claw him down. Plus, he tried to kill you! Okay yeah no you’re screaming—

We?

Slowly, your hand sneaks onto his shoulder, using it as an anchor as you peek behind him. You grimace at the sight of the werehyena, the familiar lax grin etched on his lips. You wouldn’t mind if he got attacked, too. But, the human(?) next to him is an entirely different story. His head is dipped down, trying his hardest to avoid making eye contact with you.

… You can’t do that to him.

You wrap your fingers around his bandages, slowly taking his hand off your mouth, and he lets you. It takes a few moments, but the second you nod, the mummy is falling back into the bed. Soft snores leave his throat, and you already know he’s fallen asleep.

… You have no idea how to explain to Riddle and the others the 3 new roommates they’ll be having.

You just hope none of them see Leona in your bed, practically using you as a pillow—

“[Name]. What are they doing in here.”

The sight of Riddle in your doorway with roses immediately evokes guilt in your heart. Slowly, you sneak your blanket over Leona, hoping somehow, he’ll suffocate and die a second death underneath.

[requiem-for-a-raisin]

The Past Records: William & Victor - Part 1

*Fan translation for funsies! IP owned by Cybird, translations are my own and may be inaccurate. See About page for more info.*

:readmore:

The story of this event contains major spoilers about Victor's main story.

The story will be saved after you acquire it, so we recommend that you read it after you have finished the main story.

William

"The curse is not my master. I am the master of my curse."

William

"Even if I am destroyed, it will be the destruction I wished for."

William

"There is no reason to fear."

After killing my father in the Houses of Parliament and preparing for his funeral, I was summoned to the palace and heard about my fate from Her Majesty the Queen.

Your curse is the “self-righteous monarch”, and your destiny is to “destroy yourself by your own vehemence.”

I was not surprised. But I would never allow fate to deprive me of being my own master.

That is why I looked straight at her and opened my mouth to speak.

Her Majesty the Queen

"You are truly beautiful. And you, carrying that curse, are even more beautiful than ever."

The Queen spoke in a more casual tone than before, a voice that sounded a little husky.

Her Majesty

"The truth is, I'm cursed too."

William

"Uh..."

As I stare in shock, she chuckles.

Her Majesty

"I sometimes wish there was a place where cursed people could live freely, without worrying about their sins or even their destiny."

Her Majesty

"But I'm a king. I can't escape this mission, or the fate that will eventually come as a cursed person."

Her Majesty

"That's why I continue to wish for all cursed people other than myself to be free."

(The Queen surely longs for freedom.)

But she's determined not to reach for it.

She must have come to this decision after unimaginable pain and conflict.

But I wasn't satisfied.

(It must be a beautiful moment when the Queen's heart is set free.)

I knelt down and looked up at her.

William

"This country belongs to Your Majesty. My life, my desires, they all belong to you."

William

"But if Your Majesty, who reigns on the throne, is restricted, then I am restricted as well."

When I confronted her with my absurd reasoning, she got angry.

Her Majesty the Queen

“........ Ha, ah ha!"

Suddenly, she started laughing loudly.

I was surprised, because the laugh belonged to a man.

The queen stood up and took off her thick veil. My eyes met those of a man, whose eyes shined like jewels.

I was caught off guard by the man’s smile, which was so beautiful that I know he will captivate many people.

William

"So... so Her Majesty the Queen is actually a man?"

The man smiles and answers.

Victor

"There is no woman named Victoria in this world."

Victor

"It's just that a man named Victor, who inherited royal blood, is hiding his true identity and reigning as king."

(...I see, I never expected that.)

Who on earth could have known that Her Majesty the "Queen" doesn't exist, and that this man, the "jewel" Victor, has somehow hidden his true identity and reigned as a false gender?

(I don't know why, but it's quite a bizarre idea.)

After learning a big secret that could shake the country, the first thing I could think was that something genuinely interesting had happened for the first time in a long time.

He folded his arms in contemplation, then he spoke.

Victor

"The truth is, I was thinking about creating a unit under the direct command of Her Majesty the Queen, but it seemed unrealistic and unlikely to come to fruition."

Victor

"But then you showed up and my idea became a reality."

William

"What do you mean?"

The corners of Victor’s mouth turned up.

Victor

"I'm going to create a unit made up entirely of cursed beings, under the direct command of Her Majesty the Queen."

Victor

"I was thinking of creating a place to eliminate evil that can't be punished by law, and give the cursed the freedom to carry out their evil deeds."

Victor

"I think what we want to do is the same, what do you think?"

I had no intention of dragging others into my own self-righteousness.

(I will eradicate the Butterfly of my own will, and give people freedom.)

(I'm not asking for anything in return, because this is my own self-righteousness.)

But what if there were allies there?

Victor

"’Fight evil with evil.’ That's my philosophy."

I smiled, feeling somehow fulfilled, and Victor held out his hand.

Victor

“William Rex. Walk with me on this path of defeating evil with evil."

I stood up and kissed the back of his hand.

William

"As you wish, Your Majesty."

[pollkien]

MABLUNG PROPAGANDA:

His name sounds like a weed joke

Marchwarden. Aprilwarden. Idk. But he is the chief warden of Thingol

Retrieved the Silmaril from Carcharoth’s belly <3

“Then Mablung took a knife and ripped up the belly of the Wolf; and within he was wellnigh all consumed as with a fire, but the hand of Beren that held the jewel was yet incorrupt. But when Mablung reached forth to touch it, the hand was no more, and the Silmaril lay there unveiled, and the light of it filled the shadows of the forest all about them. Then quickly and in fear Mablung took it and set it in Beren’s living hand” he touched it!!

One of the two messengers from Thingol at the Mereth Aderthad

Mablung of the Heavy Hand… why is his hand heavy

“Unwilling to have no part in the battle, Thingol gave leave to Mablung to join the great assault on Morgoth so long as he did not serve the House of the Fëanor; as such he joined himself to the host of Fingon” damn

Told Saeros to not be racist.

Also guarded Morwen. And did other things. Like be a normal guy. I don’t know i’m so tired

Died defending Thingol like the good guy he is

CURUFIN PROPAGANDA:

It looks like he’s sideeyeing Orodreth I think that’s really funny

Called Orodreth stupid behind his back in the Lay of Leithian

#1 Eöl hater of all time

#1 Beren hater of all time also

Daddy’s most specialest boy. So special that both of his names are about his dad. This slut has absolutely no identity outside of his father and I think this is extremely appealing to some

“he alone showed in some degree the same temper and talents. He also resembled Fëanor very much in face.” I mean if you resemble the hottest elf ever you must also be hot.

Absolute cunt. Just a huge asshole. I love that for him

Actually in a draft, Fëanor called on Curufin and a few other of his most trusted servants to burn the ships at night <3

His only redeeming quality is when he told Eöl off that one time

Says the funniest line in all of Silm. “By the laws of the Eldar I may not slay you at this time” is incredible. He invented “Had It Not Been For the Laws of This Land”

Can usurp your heart ;)

Married! Canonically fucked! Unlike most other people here

This also means Curufin is a dilf.

Set evil in Celegorm’s heart <3

If his dad was so so hot Curufin must also be very hot

NOT racist! He was friends with Telchar and wrote much about the Dwarves and Khuzdul. #DiversityWin

Curufin the Crafty more like Curufin the Cunty

He schemes so hard. Do you like scheming boys? He is THE scheming boy for you.

Has a named weapon!

“Eöl, however, Curufin loved not at all. Curufin was aware of Eöl's resentment towards the Noldor, and that Eöl was using his friendship with the Dwarves of the Blue Mountains, which Curufin was jealous of, to stir up unfriendliness against them. Regardless, Eöl was still allowed to cross through East Beleriand, though a constant watch was placed on Nan Elmoth as they mistrusted his doings and goings.” No fucking way DUDE YOU ARE ALSO FRIENDS WITH THE DWARVES OF THE BLUE MOUNTAINS

“In The Earliest Annals of Valinor, the translation of Curufin's name in to Old English is given as Cyrefinn Facensearo and defined as "[Curufin the Crafty, O.E. cyre 'choice', facen 'deceit, guile, wickedness' (a word of wholly bad meaning); searu 'skill, cunning' (also with bad meaning, 'plot, snare, treachery'); facensearu 'treachery'.]"” someone fuck this whore right now

Sorry i am now just reading his TG page “In relation to Celegorm, Christopher Tolkien notes that Curufin is "the more longheaded schemer, standing behind his brother and prompting him - it is clear ... that Celegorm has some authority — or is felt by Curufin to have some authority — that Curufin lacks"[23]:247 and that Curufin was "the wickeder (as he was certainly also the cleverer) of the brothers".” Oh my god.

He has quite the long TG page. Not propaganda just very surprising. Did you know his name shows up 30 times in the published Silm, 34 if you include the name index

[oddinary4bts]

Be With You | ch 8

☆summary: who knew that the hot guy you've been paired with for a class project is also a kind soul? Certainly not you, and you feel yourself falling even though you know you shouldn't. Will it be your demise, or will it all work out in the end?

☆pairing: Choi San x female!reader

☆rating: 18+ (minors DNI, some chapters contain mature content)

☆genre: slow burn strangers to lovers, college!au, smut, angst and fluff

☆warnings: Jungkook, cursing, ghosting, wooyoung <3, angst. like a lot of it oop, vague mentions of what happened with Jungkook three years ago

☆word count: 7.2k

☆series masterpost

☆add yourself to the taglist here

☆a/n: this one is very sad and i'm sorry :') but i hope you guys still like it! I'm posting it from Seoul!!!! I'm so excited to be here:) and thank you to @moonleeai for your amazing work as my beta reader, I love you and am forever thankful for you <3

☆☆☆☆☆

Cold snowflakes Withered down Until you bloom As a spring flower I'll be with you

Be With You, Ateez (english translation)

☆☆☆☆☆

Saturday, October 26th

You wake up with the morning light, confused as to when you actually fell asleep. All you remember is tossing and turning, tears staining your cheeks, but it seems sleep found you at some point. You don’t feel rested though, heaviness clinging to your very soul, and you turn on your side, reaching for your phone on the nightstand. 

You turn it on, letting it scan your features before it opens on your conversation with San. His text sits there, unchanged by the last few hours, and your heart twists in your chest once more. Your reply, much less ominous, winks at you, its lack of response evident.

[3:07 am] You: are you okay?

You’re not surprised he hasn’t replied. His behaviour last night was strange, hurtful, but not quite as painful as it was to see Jungkook again. 

To think that Wooyoung was with Park Jimin…

You turn off your phone, lying on your back as you stare up at the ceiling. You wonder what happened for San to decide to leave without talking to you. You assume it must have been bad - San isn’t one for abandoning you like that.

You sigh, closing your eyes as your heart aches in your chest, fear wrapping around it like a tight, suffocating embrace. You don’t let the tears come this time, or maybe your exhaustion keeps them at bay. Indeed, your cheeks remain dry, and you’re able to take a few shuddering breaths in until the wave passes.

Fucking Jeon Jungkook…

You’re not even going to fucking say hi?

Jungkook’s words ring in your ears, as they’ve been doing since last night. The sight of him was surprising, disconcerting, and you still can’t believe he’s changed so much. Though he still had those same doe eyes that had stolen your heart when you were too young to see the evil lurking in their depths.

You wish last night had never happened. You wish you hadn’t seen Jungkook again, because you feel the trauma returning, you feel the pain that he’s caused you taking hold of you again. You barely survived the first time - will you survive this time around?

You ask yourself that question all day, as Sydney and Yunho force you to hang out in the living room with them. They’re cautious around you, but you barely even notice, too distracted with glancing at your phone every five minutes hoping that San might have replied to you.

But he doesn’t reply, and night comes again without a single word from him. He’s never not texted for such a long period before, and the fear from the morning strengthens its hold on you until you barely can breathe, tears once more spilling on your cheeks.

You think you know. You reckon you know, yet you don’t want to wrap your head around this new reality. You don’t want to accept it, and so you push the thoughts away, telling yourself that he might just be unwell.

What if something happened with his father? As much as it hurts, you wouldn’t blame him for pulling away. You know damn well that sometimes, you just need some time alone to figure shit out. Maybe San is similar to you in this way.

And so, while the moon laughs at you from its throne up in the sky, blazing bright in the cloudless night, you chase sleep that evades you, trying to ignore the stifling thoughts that haunt your mind.

Monday, October 28th

You sit at the back of the classroom, a bleary ghost barely able to keep your eyes open. You haven’t slept much over the weekend, the lack of response from San keeping you awake despite your tiredness. 

He didn’t reply yesterday either. And so, despite your short night of sleep, you decided to make your way to class, hoping to run into him. 

Hoping that he’ll reappear and everything will be okay now. So you anxiously stare at the door, worrying at your bottom lip. People come in, dispersing in the classroom, yet San stubbornly  remains out of sight. You clench your fists, letting the pain of your nails digging in your palm keep you grounded. 

Letting the physical pain keep you from crying in public like this. Because you feel like crying - you’ve been crying so much over the last two days. Everything about Jungkook rushing back in, San’s disappearance from your life…

You’ve always thought you were strong, yet you’ve never felt so weak. Weak enough that a single gust of wind might break you down, that a single ‘Are you okay?’ might have tears run down your cheeks. You feel feeble, like you might break into a thousand little pieces if somebody even looks your way.

But you hold on strong, staring at the door, hoping that he’ll be the next one to come in. But he doesn’t and, five minutes after the class starts, Wooyoung rushes in, sitting at an empty desk towards the middle of the class.

He glanced at you first. You’re fully aware that he glanced at you, but the apologetic smile he sent your way was nothing reassuring, and the knowledge that something really did happen settles so deep in your bones that you think you might collapse.

You don’t. You stay standing, always - what is there else to do anyway? 

When the class ends, Wooyoung lingers by the door, and though you don’t want to talk to him, don’t want him to tell you what might have happened out of fear of you having fucked it up without even realizing, he stops you with a hand on your arm.

“Hey, are you okay?”

Pain swells up in your chest, and you take a deep breath, looking towards the end of the hallway so that Wooyoung can’t see the tears welling up in your eyes.

“Ah, I guess so,” you reply. 

“Have you…” he trails off. Nayeon passes, and he smiles at her before continuing, “Have you talked to San over the weekend?”

San’s name stabs into your beating heart. It’s such a drastic change from the usual warmth that it brings you, and you want to go home. Want to go home and hide in a blanket until the world moves on and forgets all about you.

“I haven’t,” you reply flatly. “Why?”

“He’s been ignoring everyone all weekend, and he refused to let me in when I went to his place last night.”

Your eyes widen ever so slightly, hope threatening to lighten the dark skies your mind has been clouded with. Because if he’s ignoring everyone, and not just you… then surely it can’t be about you.

“Why would he…” you trail off.

Wooyoung shrugs his shoulders, pursing his lips. “I don’t know. I assumed something must have happened with you?”

“The last time I saw him was at the party,” you say. “He left without even saying goodbye.”

Wooyoung frowns. “He told me he was leaving after the stack-the-cup game. Not too long after you guys disappeared somewhere together.”

You blush as you reminisce about what you disappeared for. Was San embarrassed of it? Why else would he leave?

“He told me he was going to find you, but he didn’t tell me he was going to leave.”

“Did he look upset?” Wooyoung asks.

You pull at some dry skin on your lower lip. “Not at all… he said he’d find me later.”

Wooyoung sighs, grabbing his phone. You watch as he opens it, going to his instagram. He opens his conversation with San. He types a message, sending it without you being able to read it, and then he puts his phone back in his pocket.

“It’s fucking weird.”

Your gaze drops to the ground as you try to think, and all you can come up with is, “Did something happen with his dad?”

Wooyoung cocks a confused eyebrow. “His dad? Not that I know of.”

It’s the only thing that crosses your mind, especially after the conversation you had last Wednesday.

“I’ll try to talk to him again today,” Wooyoung says. “Let me know if he replies to you.”

You nod, taking a deep breath, and then you glance at the end of the hallway again. “Will do. Tell me if he replies to you, too.”

“Of course.” You’re starting to walk away when Wooyoung speaks up, saying your name. You turn to look at him again, and he adds, “I didn’t know you had an ex.”

Of course he didn’t. None of them did - only Sydney and Yunho know.

“Ah,” you let out. “He’s not really someone worth mentioning.”

Wooyoung walks towards you, and then you head together towards the stairs. “He’s got a weird vibe.”

You’re surprised Wooyoung noticed - most people always believe Jungkook to be the sweetest person. But then again, Wooyoung was there when Jungkook talked to you last Friday.

“He is…” You shrug your shoulders. “He is indeed weird.”

“Jimin refused to say anything about you and Jungkook,” Wooyoung adds.

You’re halfway down the stairs by then, and all you want is to step outside and run away from the conversation.

As much as you were ready to have said conversation with San, you don’t want to talk about it with Wooyoung.

“He probably just doesn’t want to stir shit,” you reply, offering Wooyoung a tight-lipped smile. 

Wooyoung shrugs. “Yeah, I got the feeling too.”

An awkward silence descends on the two of you, though you cling to it for dear life, hoping Wooyoung won’t ask any more questions. To your relief, he remains silent, clearly lost in thoughts too, and you make it all the way outside before he talks again.

“Are you coming to class this afternoon?” he asks, noticing you turning away to head out of campus.

“I’m kind of really tired,” you admit, and Wooyoung’s features turn apologetic.

Much like they had when he walked into class, and you only realize now that he was probably sorry because he couldn’t sit with you, and not because he knew something about San.

“No worries, go rest up,” he says, flashing you a smile. “I’ll send you my notes.”

Your eyes water at his words, and you blink it away as subtly as you can. “Thank you.”

“Don’t mention it.”

Wednesday, October 30th 

Two days later, and you still haven’t heard from San. You sent him a message yesterday night, telling him to let you know if he’s alive and that you don’t have to talk, but the message was delivered with no answer ever coming back.

You didn’t really expect one. Though Wooyoung did plant a seed of hope in your heart on Monday, that seed was quickly crushed by San’s neverending silence. 

It doesn’t help that you’re supposed to meet at the library tonight, like you’ve done every week since you started working on your project. You’ve been debating asking him if he’s still coming, yet you’re starting to feel like you’ll only get on his nerves.

If he wanted to talk to you, he would have already. And as much as it hurts to think he doesn’t want to talk to you, it’s also starting to anger you. You’ve never been good with silence - especially with how much Jungkook wielded that against you - and you hate that it’s starting to taint the image of San that you had in mind.

The only thing saving it from full corruption now is the fact that Wooyoung still hasn’t had news either, except from San liking a message that Wooyoung sent saying that he was there for him if he needed.

At least you know San is still alive.

You’re in class, eyes unfocused on your laptop in front of you. You blink a few times to bring it back into focus, and then you write down the sentence the professor just said, even though you have no clue if it’s important. Wooyoung is sitting next to you, pretty much in the same state as you, though you both startle when his phone vibrates on the desk between the two of you.

Especially as you both catch sight of who’s calling, San’s name burning into your retina.

You exchange a glance, eyes widened, and then Wooyoung grabs his phone, mouthing to you that he’ll be back. The professor barely even pays attention to him, and Wooyoung jogs out of the class, leaving you with your heart beating out of your chest as you wait for him to come back. 

And it takes a while, so much so that you’re left wondering if Wooyoung ran away. It’s a silly thought to have considering all of his stuff is still next to you, and so you take a deep breath, trying to slow down your heartbeats.

It doesn’t work. Your heart is beating so loud you can’t even hear the professor anymore, and it only increases, adrenaline spiking in your blood, when Wooyoung comes back with a dreary expression. 

He sits next to you, putting his phone face down between the two of you. You tap his arm, question marks etched in your eyes, but he only mouths that you can talk after class. You clench your jaw, knowing you won’t be able to focus on the class at all now - not that you were really focusing before - and you take a deep breath, looking at the professor.

The class is unending. The class is time stretched into a moment of hell, and you think you’ll be stuck here forever, your heartbeats echoing in your mind louder than bombs. Your hands are slightly shaking, making it hard to take notes, and the next thirty minutes pass like fifteen hundreds of them.

You think you have died four times by the time the professor tells the class to pack their bags, yet it does eventually happen, making your heart rate spike in your chest again.

“So?” you immediately say as you turn towards Wooyoung.

His lips stretch in a tight line, and his eyes flutter close, almost like he’s pained. “I…” He takes a deep breath, opens his eyes and looks at you. “I think you should move on.”

The words stop the world around you, leaving only them and their incessant echo, and your lungs fill with burning lava, making it hard to breathe.

It can’t be. It can’t fucking be - you’ve only had weeks with Choi San, and now life is tearing you apart? It’s unfair.

But you know. You know you never should have fallen in love with him. Why would you deserve it anyway?

“What?” you let out, your voice smaller than the atoms holding a single drop of water together.

A single drop of water, now lost at sea.

“He refused to tell me exactly what happened, but he said…” Wooyoung stops, wincing. “I’m sorry.”

“What did he say?” you ask, furiously blinking away the tears forming in your eyes.

“I just think you should move on,” Wooyoung says softly.

“What did he say?” you repeat, your heart slowly shattering in your chest, like a car crash in slow motion.

Wooyoung sighs, closing his eyes. “He said that he doesn’t want to talk to you, or to talk about you.”

Your hand clenches in a tight fist. “Why? What happened?”

“Fuck if I know.” Wooyoung seems resigned, sad, and he meets your gaze with such pity in his eyes you almost want to punch him.

But it’s not his fault. Of course it’s always been yours.

“I’m really sorry,” Wooyoung whispers. “I’ve never seen him like this.”

One tear wins, and you immediately dry it with a swipe of your hand. “It’s not your fault,” you reassure him.

You look away, putting your stuff in your school bag hurriedly. Wooyoung stops you with a gentle hand on your arm, and you clench your jaw hard before biting into your tongue, hoping that it might keep the rest of your tears at bay.

“Give him some time,” Wooyoung says, voice barely above a whisper. “I’ll try to talk to him to figure out why he made that decision.”

You think about Jimin. You think about how he was stuck between you and Jungkook for so long before he inevitably chose Jungkook’s side, leaving you alone in the end. And so you pat Wooyoung’s hand, offering him a sad smile.

“Don’t put yourself between me and him,” you tell Wooyoung.

“I just…” he trails off as he watches you getting up.

“It’s not worth it,” you add. “If San made a decision, the only thing we can do is respect it.”

No matter how much it hurts. No matter how difficult it is to walk away from Wooyoung now, your fist tight on one of the straps of your school bag like it’s a buoy keeping you afloat despite the storm raging in your heart and mind.

You don’t know how you make it home. You’ve gone into survival mode, taking one step at a time without really looking at where you’re going. You just hear Wooyoung’s words on repeat - so many words have been haunting you lately.

You wish you could forget all the words in the dictionary. Wish you could be hit with amnesia so that the pain wouldn’t linger too long. 

But it does. The pain makes a home in your heart, taking all the memories of you and San and tainting them with bittersweet heartbreak.

He decided to ghost you. San, sweet, sweet Choi San decided to ghost you, and you don’t even know why. You don’t know what brought him to that decision - is it because you said you wanted to wait before being boyfriend and girlfriend when he called you his girl at the Halloween party?

If only you had known… you’d go back in time and change your words, tell him you want him like the moon wants the sea, pulling it just a little closer whenever it passes in the sky. Yet the moon never touches the sea and maybe, maybe that’s what your story with Choi San was supposed to be in the end.

The story of reaching for someone, but only meeting a void instead.

You’re outside in front of your apartment building. Have been for a moment, looking at the door. It’s like you’ve been frozen in place - maybe the atmosphere was wiped from the Earth, and you were hit with absolute zero.

Yunho appears, opening the door in front of your dead eyes. He takes you in, gaze widening, and then he’s jogging towards you.

He says your name alarmingly, and then adds, “What’s wrong? What are you doing?”

A sob wracks through you, cracking the ice covering your body, and you hide your face in your hands. Yunho immediately pulls you into a tight hug, and then he’s guiding you towards the door, and all the way to your apartment.

“I’m calling Syd,” he says once he’s had you take off your coat and boots, and told you to sit on the couch. 

“Don’t bother,” you say, taking a deep breath through the heartbreak. “I’m okay.”

“Fuck off.”

It’s all he says before he’s pressing his phone to his ear. Sydney picks up a moment later, and you barely listen as Yunho explains he’s found you crying outside, and that she should come over. He’s hanging up not too long after, and then he goes to the kitchen, bringing you back a glass of water.

“I’m not thirsty,” you mumble.

“Do I look like I care?” he asks. “Drink up.”

You glare at him, but he looks so serious that you do grab the glass, taking a sip from it. “Happy?”

“More,” he insists, folding his arms on his chest.

Annoyed, you take another longer sip. “Happy now?”

Yunho sighs, sitting down on the couch next to you. He doesn’t say anything for a time, and the tears start making their way to your eyes again.

“Hey, hey,” Yunho says. “Drink your water.”

“I don’t want to drink the fucking water.”

“I don’t know how to cheer you up, so you’re going to drink your water while we wait for Syd to get here, m’kay?”

He’s stupid. Your brother is stupid, but at least he’s trying. And you realize that, when you’re drinking water, the sobs don’t quite make their way to the surface. It helps with keeping you grounded, and you’re not really crying anymore by the time Sydney arrives, twenty minutes later.

She looks worried, kicking off her boots by the door before walking towards you and your brother. She meets Yunho’s gaze, who shrugs, and then she’s sitting on the other side of you.

“What’s wrong?” she asks.

“Nothing.” You chuckle bitterly, not surprised when tears wet your eyes again. “San just decided he was done with me and had Wooyoung tell me.”

“Oh.” You’re crying again, and Sydney awkwardly wraps you into a hug, patting your back. “I’m sorry, bubs.”

“I just don’t get it,” you say through the renewed sobs. “We were all good last Friday, and then he left and he ignored me and now this? What the fuck did I do?”

If only you had known that your last kiss would have been that kiss outside of the bathroom by the stairs. You would have kissed him longer, held him longer, kept him close until the Sun would have burned out in the sky. But you didn’t, and all that’s left is a memory that’s not quite focused because you didn’t know it was going to be so important.

“What a fucking ass,” Yunho grumbles next to you.

Sydney moves and, knowing her, you assume she’s glaring at him. “I’m really sorry.” She rubs your back soothingly some more, and then grabs the empty glass of water to give it to Yunho. “Did something happen in the days before the party?”

You rack your mind in search of an explanation and once again, all that comes up is the conversation about his dad.

“He told me some shit about his dad,” you reveal. “But I don’t know why that would lead him to end things like this.”

“What did he say?”

You don’t want to say it. Especially not when he mentioned he’d never told anyone before. Even if you somehow fucked up the relationship, you don’t want to betray his trust like that.

“Just that his dad is an ass,” you choose to say, the half-truth having to be enough for now.

Sydney and Yunho don’t reply, as if expecting for more to come, but you fall silent, focusing on trying to breathe normally. It works enough for you to sit straighter, and Sydney’s hand returns to her lap.

“He’s wild for doing this considering we have friends in common,” Yunho says after a time. He curses underneath his breath, shaking his head. “Like for real, what does he think will happen when Hongjoong organizes something again?”

“Don’t stir shit,” you tell your brother sternly. “Please don’t make it worse.”

“You haven’t done shit, though,” Yunho says. “Unless you’re not telling us something.”

“Yunho,” Sydney warns.

“Are you saying I’m lying?”

Yunho’s gaze widens in fear. “Wait no, fuck no. I know you haven’t done anything.”

“Did you… tell him about Jungkook?” Sydney asks.

As always, the name stings, yet you think San’s name stings a lot more now. “I didn’t even have time to tell him.”

“Jungkook was there at the party…” she trails off, and it only then dawns on you that San and Jungkook might have talked that night, even if Wooyoung didn’t mention it.

“Do you think Jungkook told him something?”

Silence settles in your mind, clarity hitting you. Your gaze widens, and the pain momentarily disappears. “Oh shit.”

“You should try to talk to him.”

The thing is… how? San is visibly ignoring your texts, and he’s not coming to class anymore. You ask yourself that question for the rest of the day, especially once you’ve assured Yunho and Sydney that you'll be okay just so that they let you retreat to the quiet of your room.

You end up trying to work on the project, only for you to stare at the screen as all the times you studied with San keeps popping up in your mind. Treacherous little thoughts, yet they are tinged with a flicker of hope now at the thought that you might be able to fix things if you talk to him.

But what would you say? How would you say things? Most importantly, how are you going to convince San of your story if Jungkook already said his side?

You’re going insane. Insane with questions and sorrow, anxiety and hope and what ifs. Because what if you had talked to San before? What if, tonight, you were going to sleep in his arms instead of alone in the vast, empty expanse of your bed?

It’s late at night when you finally gather the courage to text San. It takes you forever to figure out what to say, and you spend so much time trying to convince yourself to press send. Hell, you think an eternity has passed before your hovering finger finally presses down, and another eternity for the message to deliver.

But at least it delivers. And so you reread, hoping the message is conveyed properly.

[2:08 am] You: hey San! wooyoung told me to move on but i want to give us a try. you matter to me, and i really think we should talk just to see if we can fix things. so please, please reply to me, i can meet you at your place tomorrow evening or over the weekend. no pressure as to when, but please let me just talk to you… it’s been hard without you

So it’s with hope in your heart that you eventually fall asleep that night, your dreams clinging to Choi San as if that might bring him back to you.

Thursday, October 31st

The streets are filled with kids in their costumes, their laughter echoing as they run from houses to houses, carrying bags of treats around like their own little treasures. You’re walking amongst them, face hidden in your scarf - the weather is back to being cold - yet you don’t have much of a destination.

Unlike the kids, your evening isn’t born out of the excitement of youth. Indeed, the heartbreaks of early adulthood are plaguing you, and you don’t know what to make of it.

San hasn’t replied to your text. You weren’t really expecting him to - the hope had been but a decoy of the true pain sitting in your chest. It did linger for part of the day today, but when you finished a class he once again didn’t attend, Wooyoung waving at you from where he sat at the front, you knew it was over.

You don’t think there’s anything you could do or say to salvage the relationship with San. Maybe at first, telling him the truth about Jungkook - your truth - would have made things possible, but San’s constant choice to ignore you, to ghost you like you never mattered, has been making you realize that maybe the whole thing was just painted in the pink tint of budding love. But now you see clearer - now you see San’s choice for what it is.

Avoidance of commitment, and a side of emotional immaturity. At least that’s what you’ve been telling yourself since after the class, if only so that you don’t drown in the heartbreak.

It’s not quite working. Maybe because you can’t bring yourself to see San as the villain, especially not with how sweet he’s always been to you before last Friday. Or maybe you just didn’t truly know him. Maybe he’s the type to run the second a hint of true commitment appears on the horizon. You wouldn’t be surprised - besides Nayeon, he hasn’t really had a relationship. And you don’t know if she even counts. When he spoke of her, it seemed like their relationship was more of a close friendship over anything else, but you might have been wrong.

You might have misinterpreted his feelings for her. In truth, you might have misinterpreted everything when it comes to him, considering the ending. 

You should have known. He does have the reputation to be the kind of guy that sleeps around, yet you went into the whole thing blinded by your need to have someone that stands by your side. A need you didn’t even realize you had until it was too late and you’d lost it.

Because you feel astray now. You feel lost, empty, with no true sense of north and south. You feel like you’re just wandering, like the only goal you’d had in mind has been stripped away from you.

Yet your feet have a goal of their own - your walk brings you close to San’s apartment complex, and you find yourself looking up at the windows, wondering if you can tell which is his.

Wondering if somewhere up there, he’s looking back at you. And so you stand there, your heart trying to reach for him yet only finding an empty void. You take a deep breath, your gaze dropping to the ground.

You miss him. You fucking miss him, fucking wish you’d known that it was the end. You wish you could have at least committed something to memory so that you could have something to remember him by.

But will you even remember him? Twenty years down the line, will you visit memory lane and find him standing there, or are those mere weeks going to be wiped from your memory? It’s a bittersweet thought to realize that something that matters so much might just disappear.

San might disappear. Part of you thinks he’s already started to disappear.

How else could he become such a ghost in your life, if not for him disappearing?

Your eyes fill with tears, and you blink them away frustratedly. And then you take another deep breath, and you look up one last time.

San is on the other side of the street, and your heart stops in your chest. He’s looking at you, too. For half a heartbeat, you think he might even call your name. You think you might even run across the street, run to him and let him whisk you away again.

He looks tired. Exhausted, haunted, much like you. Or maybe you’re just imagining it. Maybe you just wish the burden is shared between the two of you. Perhaps it won’t crush you if it is.

But then San turns around, walking into his building as if you’re just strangers, strangers that share memories that will soon disappear. It hurts so bad your knees feel weak, and you think about running across the street. You think about running to him, only to tell him how much of an asshole he is. How much of a coward he is, too.

Because how can he turn his back on you like that? How can he pretend that, eight days ago, he didn’t make love to you? That even more recently, he didn’t tell you he wanted you to be his girlfriend?

You’ll never understand men. They throw away without trying to fix anything, thinking that connections are replaceable. You can’t blame them - in this day and age, it’s so easy to find someone. But you thought that what you and San had was special. You thought it was different, written in the universe the same way the constellations are written in the night sky. 

It’s a startling thing to realize there is no night sky for you and Choi San in this universe. So you turn back around, too. You turn your back on you and him, choosing yourself over someone that didn’t even think you mattered enough to talk to you. You turn your back on the way he held you, the way he kissed you and made love to you. You turn your back on the feelings he used to ignite in your chest, welcoming the pain and anger instead.

Though you don’t know who the anger is really directed to. Is it directed to him, for choosing to not talk to you, or to yourself, for not being honest with him from the beginning? You can’t tell and... and perhaps that’s okay. Perhaps it’s okay that the anger is directed to the both of you. It keeps you afloat, helps you drift back home despite the sorrow threatening to take a hold of you.

But when you hear Sydney laughing from behind Yunho’s closed door, loneliness hits you head on like a car hitting a wall of bricks. It hits so hard you almost collapse by the door, but you don’t want to worry them. Don’t want them to realize that, maybe you never told San because you didn’t think you deserved him anyway.

Maybe you thought you were always going to lose him anyway, so why offer such a fragile piece of your soul to him? A piece that would have been corrupted by whatever Jungkook told him at the party, if Jungkook even talked to him.

You think about Jungkook. You think about the night he told you it was better to take a break, and the lonely weeks that followed. You think about how you’d use to stalk all of his friends’ socials, Jimin’s included, hoping that you might catch sight of him. You think about the August night when he came back, right after the loneliness got too much for you.

History repeats itself, doesn’t it? 

And so you hate yourself. You hate yourself for all the mistakes you’ve committed in your life, for the way you lost Choi San without ever really having him to begin with. And maybe that’s why you find yourself calling your mother. 

You doubt anyone other than her would be able to stir you away from your spiralling thoughts.

“Hello!” your mother cheerfully says when she picks up after the third ring. 

You remain silent, not finding in you to reply. All you manage to do is kick off your shoes, and your mother says your name as you’re walking towards your room.

“Hey.” Your voice is flat. Empty, hurt, and you wish you could sound happier. You wish you were, but there’s only pain where joy used to be.

“Is everything okay?” your mother asks, her concern so evident you find yourself missing her like crazy.

“Not really,” you reply truthfully, tears pricking at your eyes. 

You lean against the door of your room, softly letting yourself fall to the floor.

“Oh, honey, what’s wrong?”

Everything. It feels like everything is wrong, yet you can’t really tell that to your mother, can you?

“Remember the guy I told you about?” You take a shaky breath in. “Things didn’t work out with him.”

To say the words aloud… it makes everything much more real. It feels like your heart has turned to ice in your chest, cold seeping in your soul until tears start rolling down your cheeks.

“What happened?” she gently asks.

You don’t know what to tell her. You can’t bring yourself to say something that would make her hate San. It’s not like with Jungkook - your parents never liked Jungkook. But she’d said that San sounded like an amazing person, and that she was excited to meet him one day. You’d told her that she should be patient, that you weren’t even sure if you’d date him… 

But it was your first time even showing any interest in a guy after Jungkook, outside of your occasional hookups. Obviously your mother had to be excited about it - it was a sign that you were healing.

You inhale sharply, drying some tears on your cheeks. “It just didn’t work out,” you choose to say. “I guess I wasn’t ready after all.”

“Oh, I’m so sorry.”

“It hurts, mom,” you let out, and then a sob breaks through your previous countenance. “I really thought I was going to date this guy.”

“It’s okay,” she reassures you. “Please remember that there will always be someone else.”

But you don’t want there to be someone else.

“You met dad at nineteen,” you say. “I’m already twenty-two and I’m just so fucking miserable.”

You’re full on crying now, and your words don’t even make sense.

“Honey, you’re still so young,” your mother gently says. “There are so many people that you will meet that you haven’t met yet.”

“But that’s what scares me.” You sniffle. “What if I just end up forgetting him?”

“Is that so bad?”

It is. It is so bad in every way it could possibly be. Because you don’t want Choi San to become a memory, but the story has ended. It ended with a blank chapter, yes, but it ended nevertheless.

“It’s just sad, no? Like… how can someone matter a lot, and then they just leave?”

Your mother sighs - not out of annoyance, but out of pain for you - and you hate that you’re the one upsetting her right now. “You really liked this guy, didn’t you?”

You did. So much more than you even realized you did.

“Yes.” You lean your head back against the door, your eyes fluttering shut. “Yes, I did. I do.”

“I’m sorry.” You hear your father’s voice on the other side of the line, and your mother whispers something to him that you can’t quite hear. “Why don’t you come here this weekend?” she suggests. “We could go on a shopping spree and make some apple crumble.”

You chuckle through your sobbing. “That’d be amazing.”

To get out of the city for a while… it might be much needed indeed.

“Ask your brother too! We might even be able to bring dad to the Christmas tree farm and decorate for Christmas early.”

“Don’t rope me into your plans!” your father teases in the background.

Your mother’s answering giggle makes your lungs burn, and you clench your jaw so hard it tastes like blood. Because they’re in love - you don’t know how you went wrong with Jungkook, and now San, but your parents have always shown you the perfect picture of love. Yet it’s something you’ve never attained, something you think might forever be out of reach for you.

“We need you to carry the tree,” your mother says.

“Yun will do it.”

“He’ll be too busy with Syd.”

You can’t listen to the conversation anymore. Not when it makes you realize how everyone around you is in love, even though you don’t have a lot of people around at all. You only have Sydney, your brother and your parents - it’s almost embarrassing.

“Hey, mom,” you say. “I think I’ll go.”

“We can talk some more!” she immediately says, most likely sensing your discomfort.

“No, it’s okay.” You swallow around the lump in your throat. “I’ll check with Yunho if he can this weekend.”

“Honey…” your mother trails off. “I’m hugging you through the phone.” 

Your lips stretch in a sad smile. “Thanks, mom.”

“Can’t wait to do face masks with you!”

She’s trying. She’s trying so hard, yet you don’t want to talk to her anymore. You want to be alone, you want to cry your heart out until all the pain is out instead of in. 

“Can’t wait either,” you reply with a shaky voice.

“Oh, honey, I can’t hang up when you’re crying.”

You sigh. “It’s okay, mom. I’m just going to lie down.”

“Are you sure?”

You nod. “Yeah. I haven’t been sleeping well, so maybe a nap will help.”

There’s a moment of silence in which you expect her to try and keep you around, yet she eventually says, “Okay. But call me again if you need to talk, alright?”

“Yes, mom.”

“I love you.”

“Love you too.”

You hang up, putting your phone down on the floor next to you. Your room is dark, but you don’t feel like turning the lights on. You don’t want to - there’s some comfort in the darkness, like you don’t need to pretend anymore. And so you bend your legs, pull them to your chest and put your chin on your knees as the tears freely fall.

But you don’t sob anymore. It’s like you’re too tired, and you might actually be. There’s just so many rollercoasters your heart can take in such a short period of time. And so you cry. You cry for what could have been with San, for the loneliness that settles in your chest like it’s been its home all along. You cry for everything you had started to build with him - for Mr. Snake, for the box cakes, for the Lego set and for all the nights you fell asleep in his arms.

You cry because there hasn’t been enough. There hasn’t been enough, and there won’t be more, and you think life is cruel for that. Or perhaps he’s the cruel one - would a conversation have been able to fix things, or would he have been too far gone anyway?

To think that it happened overnight, from one day to the next… You never could have imagined that losing him would be so drastic. Like taking a step off a cliff’s edge, and falling to your demise.

It’s unfair, and you want to hate him. Still think part of you hates him, though most of this hate is directed at you. It always has - why would it be different now?

You pick up your phone, swiping it open and heading to the conversation with him. You reread your last text message and then your fingers are moving of their own accord, flying on the keyboard.

[8:21 pm] You: i just don’t understand. i don’t understand what happened, and it feels so unfair. why can’t you even talk to me? did i do something wrong? did i say the wrong thing? i really don’t fucking understand. i really thought we had something… i hope you don’t do that to all the girls you see bc fuck san are you even aware of how much it hurts? i fucking miss you and you just fucking ghosted me out of nowhere and now i’m just supposed to pretend idc? cause shit you’re so good at it. did you even care about me at all? you tell me all this shit about your dad and then you leave like it’s nothing. i’ll never understand you. and i don’t even want to fucking understand you.

When the message delivers, you put your phone back down. It doesn’t feel better now that the words are out, now that the anger spiked and left you. It only feels worse because, if you weren’t done with him before, now you surely are.

You and Choi San are done, the blank chapter has been filled with a text message.

You cry yourself to sleep that night, only to be haunted by nightmares of a better time.

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i apologize infinitely for this chapter please don't scream at me (feel free to scream at me). let me know what you think!

All rights reserved to @/oddinary4bts, 2025. Do not copy, repost or translate.

[reccyls]

The Reaper and the Self-Righteous Monarch’s First Condemnation - Chapter 3

Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3

This event contains major spoilers for Victor’s route.

Victor took a step forward.

Victor: Richard Roberts, a repeat offender of petty crimes. Victor: Henry Davies, suspected of participating in human trafficking.

The faces of the crowd changed as Victor rattled off name after name.

(Has he really memorized everyone?)

As I thought, he made his way through the entire crowd, listing everyone’s name and their crimes. After finishing, he let out a sigh.

Victor: None of you truly wish for a republic. Victor: You are only a gang of criminals looking to escape your crimes by murdering the queen and changing the country’s laws.

(...So he had come here knowing everything from the very start.)

Victor: I love my people. But I will not forgive evil which threatens the country’s peace.

If there was a chance for redemption, he would grant it. That must have been what he had thought when he chose to come here, since he was a ruler who loved his people.

(But there was no chance for them.)

William: Your orders, Your Majesty?

It was Victor’s decision.

Victor: In the name of Queen Victoria, they are to be condemned.

I took a breath, and gave the order.

William: “Slit your own throats with the swords you hold.”

In the span of a single blink, those wielding swords brought them up to their necks.

Bearded Man: W-why– aaah!

Scarred Man: No, stop! Stooooop! Aaaghh!!

Wheezing Man: Ah… ah…..

The only people left standing amidst a sea of blood were the few who weren’t carrying swords, and Robert Sullivan.

Robert: S-stop! Don’t come any closer!

I was about to give an order to the small group of survivors who huddled near the stage. However, Victor held up his hand.

Victor: I will handle things from here. You wait outside.

William: …Understood.

I turned and walked through the sea of blood. After a few minutes of waiting, Victor didn’t emerge. Worried, I went back inside the theater to check on him. But the sight that greeted my eyes was... Robert and the last remnants of the group with their hands wrapped around their own necks, smiling in bliss as they strangled themselves to death.

William: …This is your ability, I suppose.

Victor turned to look at me with a sad smile on his face, before he picked up the fallen explosive.

Victor: The only thing I can do, after having taken the lives of so many people important to me, is to shoulder the burden and give everything I have for the sake of the country. Victor: This is my repentance. Even in death, my resolve will not change.

His gaze dropped, but I kept mine steady on him as I spoke.

William: …Even so, I hope that there will be a day where you can enjoy your freedom, Vic. William: Even if that isn’t what you want.

Victor looked startled, before letting out a short laugh.

Victor: …Thank you, Will.

We checked the theater in case there were any other members we missed, and made our way to the corridor of the second floor. And as we turned a corner–

Sword-wielding Trembling Man: Wh-who are you?

A man suddenly appeared with a raised sword, poised to attack.

(Damn, I won’t make it.)

I didn’t think I would have enough time to use my ability, so I drew my own sword and stabbed the man through the heart. But simultaneously, another sword sank deep into the man’s chest.

Victor: I knew we were in sync, but even when it comes to this?

As we withdrew our blades, blood spurted from the man’s chest, splattering all over us. Victor quickly wiped his sword clean and returned it to its sheath with a troubled look on his face.

Victor: We won’t be able to leave through the main entrance in this state.

William: I’ve just thought of a plan, Vic.

He grinned widely as I opened a window and pointed down.

Victor: Excellent idea. And I know just the trick to get rid of any evidence.

The moment he tossed the bomb behind him, we both leapt out the window. And without looking back, we ran off cackling into the night.

…

We were the only ones walking around town as the clocks struck three. We walked about, staring at the sky without even bothering to wipe the blood off our faces. Suddenly, Victor raised his voice.

Victor: I’ve got it, William. Our name will be “Crown”. Victor: What do you think?

His eyes glimmered like stars.

William: “Crown?” Why that?

His long finger traced the outline of a crown in the air.

Victor: One day, this organization of ours will be a place where Cursed Ones can belong. Victor: Shackled by their tragic fates, they can find freedom here through carrying out their own evil. Victor: We will be like the shining crown that sits atop the head of everyone who strives for freedom. Victor: How does that sound? 

He seemed so pleased with the idea, but I had to ask him a question.

William: I think it’s a good idea. But does that ‘crown’ include you?

The smile vanished from Victor’s face.

Victor: I have given up on my own freedom a long time ago. But if everyone who lives in this country can live in freedom, then… Victor: That alone would make me happy.

To him, Cursed Ones were just like the people he considered his beloved citizens, just with slightly special abilities. He made no distinction between those with curses and those without, only wishing for their happiness. The Cursed Ones who joined Crown would also be shackled by a tragic fate. But he wished to grant them a place where they belonged, where their lives had meaning, where they had freedom. And the evil they paid unto evil would work to bring freedom to everyone in the country.

Victor: So ‘Crown’ it is! Any objections?

William: None from me.

With Victor pulling me along, we raced through the London night. When we arrived back at his office in the palace, we leaned against the wall and took a moment to just laugh.

Victor: I don’t think I’ve ever run such a long way before.

William: Me either. I didn’t think we’d run all the way back to the palace.

I had just killed people, was covered in blood. And yet I could still find the cheer to laugh. It was probably because of the satisfaction of bringing evil to justice, and the fact that Victor was laughing right next to me.

Victor: Now that we’ve decided on a name, it’s time for me to step forward as the queen’s aide.

William: What do you mean?

Victor: It’s something I’ve been thinking about for a while. You’re the only person who knows that I’m the queen. Victor: There were a few people who had supported me when I had first suggested that I rule as a queen instead of as myself. Victor: But, they were actually planning to expose my true identity in order to take the throne for themselves. So…

I knew what he was implying without him having to say it.

Victor: If I was discovered in the palace without having any official duties, that would very likely lead to a lot of trouble for me. Victor: I need a reason for someone like me to exist in the palace.

William: Hence becoming the queen’s aide.

Victor: You’d never think that the queen’s aide would be the queen herself, would you?

That was true, but I felt as though there were other reasons for his decision.

(It would be easier for Crown to operate if he was able to see the world the same way as other people could.) (Or maybe, he just wants to experience life as himself–as Victor–even if only for brief moments.)

William: If becoming the queen’s aide gives you some measure of freedom, I don’t see any reason to oppose it.

Victor grinned and picked up a bottle of wine from a shelf.

Victor: So from today onwards, I’ll be Victor, the queen’s aide! Time to work hard and be ready to face tomorrow! Victor: How about we start by popping open this bottle? Or maybe we should save it for another day?

Although he was acting cheerful, an air of awkwardness still lingered over him.

I stood and took the bottle from his hand.

William: We are cursed. No one knows when our tragic end will arrive, least of all ourselves. William: For all we know, today might be our first and last mission.

(And so–)

William: If we can make it five years as Crown and the queen’s aide… William: Then we’ll drink this wine. What do you think?

There was no guarantee that either of us would still be alive in five years. But if we were both still here, if I were to drink this wine with him… This country, our future– And the man before my eyes. I hoped that the next five years would grant them all even a little bit more freedom.

Victor nodded, and held out his bright red hand. I gripped it tightly in a bloody handshake.

Victor: We will continue to work to eliminate injustice from this country. Victor: Even if the crown becomes stained with blood and loses its luster, it will carry on forever.

William: Let us pay evil unto evil, and bring freedom to the people. William: Of course, this is Crown’s ideal. But it is also my own self-righteous desire.

With our hands clasped tightly, we laughed.

Victor: There’s one more thing I forgot to mention. Victor: You may see our relationship as accomplices, or merely as queen and vassal.

Victor turned a proud smile to me.

Victor: But you are my dearest friend.

This was our first condemnation, and the beginning of our evil. And… The beginning of a friendship between two accomplices.

THE END

In a room in the imperial palace of Germany…

Darius: …Oh? A group of Cursed Ones has formed in England. Darius: They’re known as Crown, formed by a human vermin named Victor, and a Cursed One named William Rex. Darius: The self-righteous monarch who can force anyone he sees to obey his orders. Darius: Oh, it’s that William! So he is cursed, just like me. Darius: Amazing, how wonderful. I wonder if I should add him to my family. Darius: We can create a utopia together… as family.

[sexiestpodcastcharacter]

Sexiest Podcast Character 2024 — Unscripted Undefeated Bracket — Round 4−1

Propaganda

Phrygian (Friends at the Table: PARTIZAN and PALISADE)

Vote for Phrygian, they're a scientist who got dragged into a war and their body is made of a tangle of wires but they can also be an entire apartment and a haunted deck on a ship

whats sexier than that

#PHRYGIAN #okay well you know we are going off about phrygian. you know we are. #can we tell you about the time they one-shotted an evil god in one of the most impossibly tense moments in podcasting history #which time? great question. they make a habit of it #they're sad they're funny they have space autism #they're a peaceful bunch of cables they're a living weapon they're dangerous and smart as hell #they're a powerhouse they're a soldier except no they're not. they're a researcher who should be studying right now #but they have to fight a war. they always have to fight a war. their whole civilization always has to fight this stupid war forever. #they're so courageous and so amazing in their flat refusal to back down. they're so unparalleled as a keith character in such a good way. #and they make us so SAD#we wrote an entire longfic and everything else for a whole year because of how sad phrygian makes us. and how happy. and how everything. #so i guess the long version of this propaganda is (checks notes) 72k words posted and we don't even know how long for real #go read wire guy. or better yet go listen to partizan and palisade #and best of all vote for phrygian #this is where we simply must say with all of our will and force and hearts #phrygian SWEEP #remember when they told a kid “maybe your dad just doesn't like you” #phryglikers it's time. it's our time. let's go

Spanks Sinatra (Tidal Wave Games Podcast: SEE YOU, SPACE COWBOY...)

He/him lesbian drag king Frank Sinatra impersonator

Spanks self-describes as a "himbo", but he's really not; he's highly intelligent and analytical, with a lot of shit in his past, and at the time you meet him the most effective way he's found to keep his own brain from overwhelming him is by beating it into submission with a life of hard drinking and violence

Spanks is a he/him lesbian. come on. look at him

Important note: Spanks is a woman, he just uses he/him pronouns for various reasons, most of which are that he's a butch drag king.

Also vote for him.

Vote for Spanks Sinatra!!!

Audio propaganda with Sammy Sinclair.

Art propaganda of Spanks Sinatra being crushed by Husky, as mentioned in the above audio propaganda.

Art of Phrygian courtesy of @queenoftheantz.

Additional propaganda below the cut:

Phrygian (Friends at the Table: PARTIZAN and PALISADE)

Phrygian is a shapeshifting alien scientist who's true form is like… a rythm. But will appear as vaguley human shaped cables! Or a room! Or a haunted deck of a boat! Physical form is only whatever they think encapsules their vibe! Can you think of something hotter? I'd tap (to) that rythm!

Spanks Sinatra (Tidal Wave Games Podcast: SEE YOU, SPACE COWBOY...)

Is too old for this shit (is 30)

When not performing, is drinking. When not drinking, is beating people up for money. When not beating people up for money, is performing. Life is purposefully structured to avoid encountering a thought for as long as possible

Loves to use his fists

Is so tired

This is propaganda for all the female characters. Voters please remember how pretty all women are and factor that into every single vote you make. Thank you.

Don't forget that Spanks' name is Spanks Sinatra ok, this is very important. Appreciate my jokes.

Don't you want to reach over and give him a better reason to turn his brain off for a while?

[lilu787788]

I could never side with Alina, Mal, Nikolai, Zoya, or the others, because their so-called mission was built on naive idealism and staggering ignorance of power. The destruction of the Fold, which they paraded as some kind of moral triumph, was in reality a fatal strategic failure. The Fold was not just a curse. It was a wall that kept predators at bay. For all its danger, it created a necessary boundary that stopped Fjerda and Shu Han from tearing Ravka apart. Erasing it while knowing enemies waited just beyond was not heroism. It was recklessness. It was the act of people playing at leadership, people who had never had to make real decisions with real consequences.

In eliminating the Fold, they stripped Ravka of more than a barrier. They removed a symbol of power, a geopolitical fact that demanded caution from aggressors. The moment the Fold vanished, Ravka stood naked before its enemies. Aleksander’s disappearance only made this worse. With him gone, the Grisha lost the one person who had fought for them with more than empty speeches and fragile alliances. No new defense was put in place. No army strong enough to hold the borders. No plan to deal with foreign aggression. No system to protect Grisha from being hunted in the streets. Alina and the others replaced harsh reality with fantasy. And fantasies don’t survive war.

Aleksander’s decision at the port was not cruelty. It was strategy. It was power used with restraint, directed at those who posed a real and immediate threat: Zlatan and the Drüskelle. They were not innocents. They were murderers gathering to destroy Grisha lives and destabilize the region. Aleksander acted fast and with precision. He didn’t revel in bloodshed, but he did what was required. He made sure the message was clear: Ravka is not yours to carve up. That is not evil. That is leadership. That is what real rulers do when their people are in danger.

Meanwhile, Nikolai stood delivering polished words that meant nothing. Alina and Mal congratulated themselves for their purity, while leaving a shattered nation defenseless. It was not only shortsighted — it was insulting. Their performative virtue was empty in the face of nations that had long wanted to see Ravka burn. Their ignorance of realpolitik wasn’t just foolish. It was dangerous. And in a world that mirrors our own — where aggressors wait for weakness — their choices feel not only unrealistic, but offensive.

Fjerda would waste no time. Shu Han would make their move. Civil unrest would ignite as the false promise of peace fell apart. Grisha would be scapegoated and butchered. Aleksander’s absence would be a gaping hole no one else could fill. The monarchy would collapse, exposed as ornamental and hollow. And the so-called heroes would become the architects of their nation’s downfall, remembered not as saviors, but as the ones who opened the gates and let the wolves in.

Aleksander was never the villain. He was the only one who saw the entire board. He knew that peace is not given, it’s enforced. Hope alone is not a strategy. Fear is what keeps the enemy from crossing your border, from hunting your people, from tearing your country apart. He understood that to lead in a brutal world, you sometimes must make brutal choices — not because you want to, but because no one else will. In removing him and the Fold, Alina and her allies didn’t end Ravka’s suffering. They ensured it would grow.

[iguessitsjustme]

Pit Babe 2 Ep 2 Thoughts

I have had a week. No idea what happened this week but Monday after work, I lost all of my energy. Literally not an ounce of energy in my body. Then came the migraines. God. But I'm better now! Just in time for Pit Babe. God bless. Not only do I have the energy to liveblog, it feels like all of the energy that I didn't have earlier this week has slammed into my body. So while not guaranteed, there is a possibility that I am super chatty this episode. As always, under the cut:

I fucking love this theme song. I doubt I will be skipping it the way I do with most theme songs.

Unrelated but I went to the store on my lunch because I desperately needed groceries and I wanted bananas but they only have bunches of eight bananas. I am one person. How the fuck am I supposed to eat eight bananas? The odds of me making banana bread in the next week is high. But the bananas are currently staring at me. Just sitting there. All eight of them. Staring. 

Obligatory "Is Chris Lee the new pope" comment before the theme song ends. I have been LIVING seeing all of that on my dash the past few days. Absolutely living. It's possibly what restored my energy.

The X Hunter boys proving that Superman's Clark Kent disguise wouldn't work. They see Chris with glasses and go "That's Way! But with glasses!" Despite it not being Way (at least not proven yet).

One point for the doppelganger theory

Babe you were THERE. Way died in your arms. Did it not seem like a straightforward death then? One that needs to be questioned? I am genuinely asking. It has been a year since I watched it and I do not remember.

Okay I didn't mention it last week in my liveblog because I was too busy thinking about other things but like. Chris said that he never met Way. How did he know Way though? Like how did he know Way existed? Did someone tell him that he looked like Way? But they didn't warn the people likely to be startled by it? How does Chris know of Way even if they never met? So Chris might not be lying but they weren't paying attention to what he actually said.

Sonic you're not only breaking North's heart, you're also breaking mine. Come back here and explain to me why you hate me and want me dead? Look me in the eyes and tell me why I must suffer like this. Oh also be nice to North and go get food with him my god. Then go kiss his face. Is that too much to ask?

I'm sorry. Is this a magical bar where you don't need to say the NAME OF THE DRINK YOU WANT? They just KNOW? What special alpha power is that? Do they only serve one type of alcohol? Boy what do you WANT (other than Pete and to be A Problem)

Sure okay yeah. I believe him. I trust him 100%

Babe trying (and succeeding) to make Charlie jealous is adorable.

Ah back to Tony.

Oh Kenta baby. You've come so far.

This was very sexy of him actually.

Oh don't hit Kenta.

Is Sonic the plant? Is that not really Sonic? Is that why he was being EVIL AND CRUEL and breaking my North's heart?

Oh this is the same music that was playing during Willy's "Tick Tick Tick Tocks"....interesting. Very interesting.

Whoever put Kenta in that shirt, thank you for your service.

Did they miss Dean when they shot at him? How'd he get here? Anyway god bless this show. Everything happens all of the time.

Yay Dean's back! What could possibly go wrong?

I am obsessed with him

Hear me out Babe. Just hear me out. Poly. Date him AND Charlie.

Okay Babe listen to me. If you won't listen to the poly then listen to this. The way to deal with Willy is to not meet him on his level. Stop trying to one-liner him. Just be like "Okay whatever you say." Indifference. Not superiority. Indifference is how you leave this situation. But you are gonna get yourself into an even bigger situation now aren't you?

Babe's gonna end up going home with Willy because of that dumb bet. Charlie is gonna kill him. We don't even need to worry about what Tony is gonna do. Because Babe will not be surviving this race.

Oh thank god Babe won. But I think Willy let him win. Cannot explain why.

This is the WRONG thing to be saying at this particular moment my guy

Babe is gonna die by Charlie's hands when all he had to do was USE HIS WORDS

SEX IS NOT A REPLACEMENT FOR GOOD COMMUNICATION GUYS.

But I hope they never change.

On the stairs?? When will someone think of their BACKS? God I am too old to be watching this. I am in PAIN and I am not the one having sex on the stairs. Oh their backs. Their knees.

This was truly fascinating to watch because Babe accidentally created all of Charlie's insecurities with his teasing earlier this episode. Really just watched the whole thing be created and develop in real time.

Oh poor baby Jeff. Someone help him.

Nothing in the soundtrack really caught my attention this week but if you want me to do a brief analysis on anything, just ask. If not then I will do another analysis next week for episode 3.

[thatgentlewife]

lately i’ve been seeing a lot of “queer Christian” blogs… and people blending Christianity with things like witchcraft, tarot, or even calling themselves “Christian witches.” and i just… can’t stop thinking about how grieved the heart of God must be. 💔

this isn’t coming from a place of judgment. i’ve been deceived before. i’ve lived in rebellion and called it freedom.

but the truth is: Jesus didn’t die for us so we could stay chained to the very things He came to set us free from.

He said plainly:

“No one can serve two masters.” (Matthew 6:24)

“Friendship with the world is enmity with God.” (James 4:4)

“If anyone would come after Me, let him deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow Me.” (Luke 9:23)

and that includes our desires. all of them.

none of us are exempt from temptation—whether it’s anger, pride, lust, same-sex attraction, or the desire to change our identity.

“Each person is tempted when they are dragged away by their own evil desire and enticed.” (James 1:14)

but temptation is not identity.

Jesus was tempted too—yet without sin. (Hebrews 4:15)

we’re called to crucify the flesh, not celebrate it.

“Those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires.” (Galatians 5:24)

and no—God didn’t “make us gay.”

He made us in His image, fearfully and wonderfully. (Psalm 139:14)

we’re born into a broken world, with broken desires. but that’s why Jesus came—to make us new. not to affirm our brokenness, but to heal it.

the same goes for gender.

God made us male and female—on purpose. (Genesis 1:27)

He doesn’t make mistakes. our bodies are not a problem to solve; they are a gift to steward.

“Shall the thing formed say to him who formed it, ‘Why have you made me like this?’” (Romans 9:20)

you can’t follow Jesus and cling to sin.

you can’t serve Jesus and still serve yourself.

you can’t walk in the light while practicing darkness.

“If we claim to have fellowship with Him yet walk in darkness, we lie and do not live out the truth.” (1 John 1:6)

this isn’t hate. this is love that warns.

“Those whom I love I rebuke and discipline. So be earnest and repent.” (Revelation 3:19)

so if this stirs something in you… maybe ask the Lord:

“Search me, O God, and know my heart… see if there is any grievous way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.” (Psalm 139:23-24)

[janusfranc15]

Well, I’d think she is Very Cool and Interesting and should join the Club of Morally Ambiguous if not outright Evil characters who cling to ‘the ends justify the means’ like their lives and sanity depend on it.

Characters include:

The Architect (Dragon Age, corypheus if he Slayed. Believes in Darkspawn Rights but will Experiment and mutilate others to get this. Is SO fucking sick of Human infighting that he considers infecting everyone with the Blight, Sentience Edition a preferred Fate. Not entirely wrong imo)

Albrecht Entrati from Warframe (commits Ethics Violations to stop God. Includes Yeeting random animals into the Infinite Void, infecting people with Space Ninja Disease -kind of like the Blight but broader and Weirder- sadly Terminal. And ruthlessly manipulating our character into saving a group of Bisexuals by shooting us in the chest. Also tied to hurt God via flinging a Nuke at him. Also being in a Toxic Old Man Yaoi relationship. Is fascinatingly well aware his methods Suck Ass but considers moral qualms something he has to discard to stop God -who is also repelled by Yaoi for some reason. Also was part of a society that liked to body-hop and do Human Trafficking. Admittedly thought said society was Cringe and Eurgh.)

a couple of Expedition 33’s cast but I Shall Not Elaborate. (Spoilers!!)

Ranni the Witch. (Killed her Half-brother in an ‘I Have No Mouth And I Must Scream’ kind of way. But in reverse. Literally killed his Soul. Body is now spreading and infecting everyone with Cancer, and the Cancer is Undeath. Kind of Sucks. Means people can’t Reincarnate and are now subject to (more) Racism. Does not seem to do much to rectify this, nor the Demigod Wars that happen as a Side Effect and fuck things up even more. Wants to Abolish God for 1000 years. This is fair because God - Marika, a WHOLE other entry I could make, but would be too long- Really Sucks in an interesting and unique way. Kills a Finger to be free of the shackles of Fate.)

Miquella the Kind. Genuinely wants what’s best for everyone and is a highly intelligent Compassionate Pacifist. Can Enforce said Pacifism via Mind Whammy as he’s kind of gone a bit mad at all the warring and has Had Enough. Is willing to use his disabled sister who he loves as an attack dog. Is willing to encourage so much fanatical loyalty that we can see voluntary Suicide Bombing Tactics amongst his troops. Is willing to Uno Reverse Child Kidnappers to the extent that you feel sorry for the kidnapper. Is willing to cut apart and mutilate himself to achieve Godhood so he can save everyone via Mind Whammy. Wants to Marry his Warlord Step-Brother in a Power Couple Move (plus him liking animals, also swore a promise with him when he was younger) who is on the other end of the continent away from him. Potentially to GET away from him.

…Have I mentioned Miquella is permanently stuck as a Small Child?)

Lahabrea, Elidibus and Emet-Selch from FFXIV

(fascinating as they’re basically doing planetary Genocide and causing Problems On Purpose to recombine everyone’s Souls and also God because SOMEONE Ripped everyone- and the Entire PLANET -apart. Emet is essentially Immortal Resurrecting Wizard Hitler who has Chronic depression and covers it with Sass. Elidibus is barely even a Person at this point because he’s literally turned into a husk for the hopes and wishes of his people. Why do the Good decide to sacrifice themselves to help Make God in a Messianic Sacrifice that went Wrong. And Lahabrea just went completely Nuts in his dedication to duty and literally burned himself out. Plus his Very VERY Toxic Ex.

Also he was killed by the Pope and sucked into his Sword. L.)

Also Venat. Who did the aforementioned World Splitting for Reasons.

"i dont want the blight to have an easy fix" "i hate happily ever after warden babies" "if the taint is cured it has to be in a fucked up scary way"

babes let me tell you about my oc, trisha "absent mother/war criminal" amell,

[bet-on-me-13]

Lex is Vlad reincarnated

So! Lex Luther, the greatest person to ever exist, had recently made a discovery.

A few weeks ago, a Cult of moronic simpletons had managed to kidnap him. Him! All for some stupid Demonic ritual where they sacrifice the wealthiest man they could find in return for something meaningless like "No More Poverty" or "No More Starvation".

He had survived, of course, and was unfortunately save by Supermoron.

But before the Man of Steel had busted in, he overheard something from the Cultists. Apparently they had chosen him for more than just his wealth, there was something more about his Soul that they were after. It felt "Divine", as if he had the soul of a God stuffed in a Mortal's body.

And obviously it must be correct. He was already the most intelligent man in the world, One of the wealthiest, and held more political power than any single man on the planet, so of course "God in disguise" was the next logical addition to that List.

Over the next few weeks he studied and prepared.

He needed to make sure that his efforts would be rewarded, that those Cultists had been correct about him despite their idiocy.

After buying up as many Magical Artifacts as he could related to Identity and Soul, he tested himself on Each and Every One. And Lo and Behold, he is truly a God.

Well, the Reincarnation of One. Apparently this was common in immortal beings such as himself, reincarnating themselves into mortal bodies as a sort of Vacation from their Duties. All he needed to do now was find a way to regain his Memories and Power without dying, and he would truly become a God On Earth.

A few more weeks of Preparation, and he was ready.

Apparently the Manchild of Steel had caught onto his plan in that time. His Ego probably couldn't bear another God living in the same City as himself, so he tried to stop Lex's plans of Ascension. Thankfully, in his research he had discovered his Rival's vulnerability to Magical Attacks, and set up countermeasures for him and his Breakfast Club should they attempt to interfere.

He stepped into the Ritual Circle, and began his Ascension to Godhood.

Try as they might, the League could not foil his plans this time. The Ritual Circle lit up with a sickly green light, and expanded to cover his entire body. The Ritual began to finally complete itself.

He had Won.

...

Oh.

...

Vlad stood at the center of the circle for a few moments. He took in all his Memories of his most recent Life, and Facepalmed so hard he was sure The Badger heard it back in the Realms.

Ten Tousand Years of Therapy specifically to curb his egotistical tendencies, and That is how he decides to spend his most recent Life? Acting as a Billionare Supervillain attacking a well meaning Hero for nothing less than Ego?! He even Cloned them!? Had he learned NOTHING!?!?

"Careful Team, we don't know how powerful he is now." He heard his current Nemesis say.

Oh right...they were still there.

He didn't really feel like explaining everything to them, and he technically still had about 40 years left on his Vacation...

He simply turned his back to them, flew back to his Mansion, turned back into his Human Form, and set about his Day. Maybe he could right a few of the wrongs he had done on this life?

It would certainly throw his current Nemesis for a loop. And while he may not Hate him anymore, he definitely still liked to Mess with him.

Maybe this would be more entertaining than he thought?

[azonewithu]

One sides feeling heat the others drowning. I only ever was truly positively affected by you. No offense to the kids who try their best or other ladies. But not much affects me ive been scrapping that long. Long enough to care less why i started im sure as usual there was good reason. And ive demished everyone and look. Did it not heat up to a record in record time? Not that i want to help my own region at all. Why? Whats so great about it. I just prefer good weather. I like it green like Ireland. Things look worse and a downward grade. I guess i wasnt the only one who knew the doom of humanity was on the horizon. If an impartial being stepped back from this planet and looked very well Emma. He could only conclude this planet is not only infested with evil, but has pretty much been taken over by a demonic entity or entities. What this means is God eill no longer protect this planet in sny way shape or form. Either the good people start fighting harder and put away all these old demons who want to rule til they fie. Thats a sign a certain keader is greedy and evil. They want yo derve until they die because their crimes ate do great they fear losing power because it may one day open them to persecution. Anyone supporting such people youre eorse in Hods eyes. Eorse than the eorst of them and you eill rightfully share their fate. Its pretty much bern decided the jusgment of man did not go well. You refuse to do the tight thing anyone eho knows what that is is either too greedy or cowardly to fight. Youve got job yiuve hot lives. Not gor much longer if this keeps up. Therell be a coup uou keep turnong ip your noses like youre too good. Im not talking sbout voting that system osnt of God. You know whats right right? That system prevents you from doing right. Its not a systrmmic problem the problem is you people individually. Nothings helping. Michael Gabriel we need to figure out a city to make an example of. The vision i had was of an entire city gone practicslly overnight. I think ots near time. We ll break the seal together on a 7th day soon. God is Angry. An example must be made pick a random city. Anywhere. All on earth are equally to blame regardless of how anyone feels thats beside the point. Neither here nor thete nor anywhere else. No one admits we need yo do better. Its just idiotic blustering headline after another. Hetes one ftom God himself. This planet and everyone who doesnt die soon will see the beginning of the end of humankind. The big mans not impressed, none of you are great not one of you, this place wouldnt be doomed if that were the case. Start rempving protections under God Michael. Start with the well. And unleash hell. Many feel the end fight is here and are mobilising. Inform commsnd to prepare for the absolute worst. We might take a stsb at cesar agsin soon. Certsin people on this planet gotta go so the less evil have a shot. Otherwise we re all doomed. I asked God and was surprised by the universe which is Gods answer. Either take a different approach to things or we need an even bigger war. On multiple fronts. If things cant be settled by reason open fire. Problem is most of my team are not ready to fight. Im the inky ine whose been diwn for years. If we fought not that long ago wed have won by now. One trade deal? We ll be sunk done, if we dont sort out this trade war. Which is cowardly enough. Thetes no point to any of this making it evil shitty lil stabs in the dark which produce nothing. If the military takes control we ll execute many members of government gor thrir inaction. That tech guyvwhen you hear they found his head only and no one knows where the rest of his body went. Know thats an all out declaration of all out war. Ee know what this is its a class war not a war between countries religioisms or races. Its a class war. Thebpeople are supported by most of the military. We are the people not the rich or government. Rich people by nature ate inherentky evil thats just fact. Anyone may turn thatvway if they were them. The only reason we dont just kill them all.

[redeemed-wren]

I'm only halfway through it, will finish it...later. but my biggest gripe so far with Troy (2004) is how much they are butchering Menelaus. And not just by mispronouncing his name. He's portrayed as a cruel brute and I'm like bro. He does not deserve this treatment 😔

I understand some changes due to cultural shift and the nature of a different medium but. Why'd you gotta do Menelaus like that?

[completeoveranalysis]

[3]

OHOHO Now we’re getting into the JUICY cause and effect. 

Like, we already know that Lava Lamp is being too hard on himself - he always is. He couldn’t have known any of this. He was only trying to do a good thing and protect Sakura. He was under extraordinary pressure and was very young. He did the only thing he could. 

He is not really responsible for the ripples this may have caused in the universe - he doesn’t control the universe. He only made a wish, as he’s allowed to do. 

But on the other hand it IS potentially the result of his action, and therefore he IS kind of "responsible". 

But in that big grey area between “he may have caused something to happen” and “this is your fault”. Lava Lamp doesn’t deserve the BLAME that any of this happened, especially because he was manipulated into doing it in the first place, but he would also be the FIRST person in line to blame literally everything wrong in the universe on his own actions. 

That aside - DO I think Lava Lamp’s time distortion caused Fai and Yui to be born as twins instead of a single person?

OH WOULDN'T THAT JUST BE THE MOST TRAGIC POSSIBLE OUTCOME?

ISN’T THIS WHAT ANGST THAT DREAMS ARE MADE OF?

ISN’T THAT THE JUICIEST DRAMA WE COULD EVER POSSIBLY HOPE FOR?

I kind of want it to be true JUST for the narrative pain of it all.

But - BUT - that still wouldn’t make it Lava Lamp’s fault, and we know Fai and Kurogane will say the same thing in a few pages. 

Said mother who is hiding behind this Read More because of the nature of that scene:

Of course this is where the concept of Lava Lamp’s “responsibility” for things really falls apart. Because sure, maybe the time distortion let Fai and Yui become two people instead of one (like with the egg, and with Watanuki), but it absolutely did NOT cause the death of Kurogane’s parents. 

That was, quite specifically, Evil Wolverine stabbing them with a sword.

[revehae]

we need to kill everyone at sm entertainment

[hakuaryouga]

- Why was Ryouga the only one immune to the Trinoid's attack? - Ryo-chan doesn't hate anyone or anything!