#if he dies i will walk into the goddamn ocean

[just-a-queer-fanboy]

THESE BITCHES GAY GOOD FOR THEM. maybe don't kill yourself though

[amarias-yandere-blog]

"Run if you can, Darling. I will find you even among the galaxy."

-Yandere!Blade x Reader (Honkai Star Rail)

-‼️Warnings include: murder, forced affection, manhandling, physical violence, unreciprocated contact, other general yandere themes‼️

Special thanks to Myla on my discord server for reading and commenting on any mistakes for me!

Please: reblog with proper tags

You do not remember when you met him. You don't remember how. But you do remember why: a goddamn coffee shop. Craving something that would be able to keep you awake long enough to finish your rough draft for college, you headed out at one in the morning. A man with a beanie, a face mask, and sunglasses caught your attention as you ordered.

And as they say, curiosity killed the cat.

You were like a beacon in the darkest night- a wonderful drop of color in the grayest walls and dark navy seas. He grew curious about you, a seemingly innocent and tired person who was little more than a drop in the ocean of people he'd met.

But the way you walked up to him with the sweetest smile and that tired, but determined voice- oh, perhaps he had been stricken with a far more powerful disease than mara. Or perhaps he'd mistaken your curiosity for a bit of affection. All he knew was that your eyes held an innocent look in them.

Call him a sadist. Because he wanted to take that innocence for his own.

The second meeting was in the nearby library. You chalked it up to coincidence. He chalked it up to meticulous research, preparation, and an obsession to see your innocent light once again.

Things eventually developed. You fell for him. He was rather quiet, but he looked at you like no one else did in a long time. At least, from what you could see above the dark-rimmed sunglasses he wore.

The first time you actually saw his face was in an alleyway. You had accidentally run into some thugs. He was far more aggressive than you thought he needed to be, but his vermilion eyes and the way his lips were pushed into a thin, unamused line were... well, you could not lie. They were captivating. 

The thugs, bleeding from his curious black sword riddled with golden cracks, ran as he walked towards you- towering over you with one hand still on his blade and the other resting on the wall behind you.

"That was foolish of you, Y/n," he scolded before bending down, stealing your precious lips for his own. His eyes never left your form as you gasped in shock at his boldness. And he only grew bolder- pushing your face up so that he had a better angle to steal your breath. 

Your savior had completely taken you for his own. And you were fine with that, grabbing a hold of his neck for support as he took everything he could. It was like a dark ocean had enveloped your warm light at that moment, though you didn't know it.

That point on, he would disappear from your sight for weeks, if not months. Sometimes he would come to your door covered in blood but without a scratch on his body.

It was during one of those days when he had disappeared without a trace that you figured out who he was. You learned his name. 

Blade. Stellaron Hunter. Dangerous. It was recommended that you run if you saw him. That night in the alleyway became crystal clear to you. He was so skilled with the sword. He could have killed those people. No- you realized with a tear running from your face that he had. They hadn't run away. They had bled out and died while he covered your eyes from the sight using his body.

Slowly taking away your innocence. Your light. Claiming your love for himself. His vermilion eyes were a flag- all too deep and clear and that is why he hid them from you for so long.

In a panic, you decided to take the initiative and move as far away as possible. You quit your job, you moved across the world, you even threw your phone away at the drop of a dime. You were scared. And rightly so. Perhaps you would have escaped from his gaze if you had learned this from the first time you saw his face.

But it was just far too late now.

When you got out of the house, it was quiet in the apartment you shared with three other people. Two girls, one guy, and you. When you came into the living room, you were met with a gorey sight. A man stood tall, his sword hugged tight against his chest as he closed his eyes and waited patiently for a new chapter to start.

Bodies lay scattered across the room, their blood dripping from the ceiling and the walls, soaking the floor, the couch- but not a drop was on him. There was a cruel, cold wind blowing through the room.

"Bad choice, Y/n." The man suddenly spoke, all too aware of your sweet presence in the room. "Now three people have paid your price." He opened his eyes to glare at you, the sword disappearing from his grip. His hands made a wide gesture, as though inviting you to hug him. But instead, you stepped away.

"G-get away from me, Blade." You tried to sound confident. His lips curled into a smile before he put a hand on his head, laughing darkly at your puny display.

"Run." One word. One sentence and your heart dropped. "Run as fast as you can, little one, and try to escape from my heart and mind- you won't. Even if you fly to the end of the stars you will never outrun me. I will always catch you. So run, little one, give me a chase!"

His words set something inside of you off. You sprinted, slamming open doors and running down stairs with no particular purpose in mind- no destination. Just. Run.

As you ran down flights of stairs, you could hear the maniacal laughter from Blade. He sounded as though he was in no rush. You had, after all, gone to a place where he was unknown and unrecognized as a killer. He was playing the long game- letting you tire yourself out as you dashed across streets and down nasty roads, passing through large swaths of crowds and even going through narrow lanes in a rush to lose him.

But you burned out. You felt your knees get weak and your bare feet turned sore and red from the run. You gasped for air, holding your chest and resting against a wall as you took in deep gulps of air that fueled your run.

Your throat burned from the dryness of the air, and your lungs struggled to keep up with the demand you gave them.

"Is that the best you can do?" Blade asked with a laugh as he walked closer towards you. Even your effort to shake him off was in vain. You gulped down saliva and turned to run again- but your feet faltered, betrayed you. You slipped on your own blood, landing on your chest with a small shriek as loud footsteps clapped down the alley.

"Poor thing. So weak, so innocent and tired that they can't even run away." Blade mocked, pulling you up by the wrist.

He pushed you into the wall, forcing your body to move in such a way that you leaned against him, looking at him with fear in your eyes. His hands roamed, across your arms and down to your hips before pulling your head in such a way that he could once again steal your breath.

But this time around you didn't want it. You tried to pull away, kicking at his knees and pulling his arms away from your body. You elbowed him and screamed and scratched his face with your nails as you bit his tongue in self defense.

He released you for only a moment, turning you back around and pushing you up against the wall, one of his hands on your wrists to keep them above your head. The other slapped your face, his eyes narrowed and his lips pressed against each other.

You watched in horror as the scratches healed in seconds, and he stuck out his tongue to prove that your damage had been far less than 'temporary'. He smirked.

"Any more cute attempts at fighting back?" He asked, shoving his face into your personal space, forcing you to look into his eyes. Your arms were growing numb now. You trembled. "I guess not. Looks like the chase is over, Darling. Now..." he leaned into you, whispered in your ear with a smile on his face. His free hand pinned your hips into the wall. "You are all mine."

And then he kissed your ear, his lips dragging across your face until they met your mouth. "Kiss me." He snarled. "Be a good little pet for me."

You never graduated from that college.

[undreaming-fanfiction]

Eddie has never traveled much. Sure, he'd drive around in his van, sometimes visit Indy, but otherwise he's given up on all the touristy stuff even before he could experience it (as if - an absent mother and a criminal father don't exactly scream VACATION TIME). He finds it silly, all the magnets, postcards. As if one week somewhere else could make a difference.

Enter Steve Harrington, a very dedicated boyfriend with a no bullshit attitude and a payout from yet another government interdimensional (or cross-dimensional?) fuckup. Given how many times he's nearly died, he doesn't exactly feel like saving and investing into his future if it may never come. And so when Eddie's wounds heal, his quiet graduation passes and Hawkins isn't swarmed by monsters for a change, he doesn't ask, simply tells Eddie that his job search will have to wait for 2 weeks or so. He helps him pack a bag, winks at Wayne on his way out (seriously, were they conspiring against him all this time?!) and off to the airport they go.

Eddie has never flown anywhere and boy, is that an experience. After grasping Steve's hand tight enough for his knuckles to go white, he finally relaxes and watches the clouds in child-like awe. Steve is smiling at him from the middle seat, squeezes his hand sometimes. Of course he made sure Eddie would have the window seat. Of course he knows Eddie would find the experience magical.

One uneventful flight and slight migraine scare later, they land, Steve picks up their rented car and drives them both to a small house on the beach. Steve snorts when he sees the separate beds and pushes them together, dropping his own bag on the right mattress. And Eddie just stares, still in disbelief that this is happening, that the local freak and suspected Satanist somehow ended up on a beach vacation with white pillows, so soft it's almost ridiculous, a boyfriend kind (and hot, so goddamn hot!) beyond belief and gentle sound of the waves...

Eddie doesn't really have swimming trunks, Steve didn't really tell him what to pack except that it's going to be mostly warm, but when he tries to apologize to Steve, his boyfriend just laughs, digs in his perfectly organized bag and tosses something black at Eddie's head. When Eddie disentagles it from his face, he finds out it's a pair of trunks with small skulls on them. "Told you, baby," says Steve and presses a gentle kiss into Eddie's cheek. "You don't need to worry about anything this week."

And Eddie doesn't, for the first time in his life he feels absolutely free from everything. When he sees the ocean for the first time, he ends up doing a very undignified splat into the waves and soon finds out that the legends were true, the water is salty and god, it's disgusting. Steve gets them both cheap snorkel masks and they just float next to each other and observe the tiny creatures on the ocean floor. Steve often dives much deeper than Eddie would ever dare to go and brings up small treasures, shells and smooth pebbles. He insists Eddie should only pick the prettiest ones, but Eddie hoards them all. "If they're too heavy when we fly back, I'll just send my bag with you and walk to Hawkins on foot," he says and he might be joking. Might.

In the end, they come back to Hawkins, with Eddie's pale skin slightly red ("I told him he needed sunscreen but did he listen, Wayne? Of course not") and bags full of trinkets that quickly fill the shelves of Eddie and Wayne's new home. Wayne's mug collection grows yet again, he gives a quiet huff of laughter when the boys admit they had a competition to buy the ugliest mug possible, Eddie presents him with a disturbingly realistic seahorse mug and Steve produces a cartoon octopus mug with a sign "SEAS THE DAY". They both groan when Wayne declares it's a tie and proudly displays both.

And if Eddie sneaks to the kitchen during the night to decorate their fridge with a tacky magnet, well, who can blame him? Maybe he'll start a collection too.

[rwby-encrusted-blog]

Incredibly self indulgent post ahead.

Mama's Villain Arc

Taiyang held stead fast to the wheel of his rented boat - he'd been through hell trying to complete this mission, trying to get back to his family.

He'd fought through Grimm and Human alike, both individuals and members of gangs, but now he was so close to home-

When the Engine died, the dinghy coming to a sudden halt as though he'd hit a Rock.

Taiyang: What in the goddamn-

???: There you are, Coward~

Taiyang: Prismeya?

Prismeya (Mama Arc): *Laying in the water* The one and only~ Now, I always try and be a good hostess to my guests, but sometimes they go where they shouldn't, and take things that aren't theirs

Taiyang: ... What do you mean Arc?

Prismeya: You hurt my family and, well, I can't quite just let anyone go after that.

Prismeya: I've got a reputation I've got a name to uphold So I can't go letting you walk or 'else the world forgets I'm cold

Prismeya: Now get in the Water.

The ocean suddenly surged, rocking the small craft and nearly tumbling Tai into the ocean.

Prismeya: Get in the Water.

Prismeya: Or I'll raise the Tide so high,

Water began climbing up the coast of Patch, like it intended to swallow the land whole.

Prismeya: that all of Patch will Die~

Prismeya: Get in the Water.

Taiyang: Wait!

Prismeya: Get in the Water.

Taiyang: Stop! Please!

The Ocean Surged, nearly capsizing Tai's boat, racing so quickly up the shore that the few dockworkers scrambled to higher ground, a few getting dragged under the waves

Prismeya: I"l make Tidal Waves so profound, That you wife and your Kids will Drown

Taiyang: NO!

Prismeya: THEN GET IN THE WATER!

Prismeya: GET IN THE WATER!

Prismeya: DON'T MISTAKE MY THREAT FOR BLUFF! You have lived more than enough!

Prismeya: Get in the water! Get in the water!

Prismeya: I'LL TAKE YOUR DAUGHTERS AND GOUGE THEIR EYES! THAT'S UNLESS YOU CHOOSE TO DIE!

Prismeya: Now Get in the water!

[zvtara-was-never-canon]

What do you think about the claims that Aang’s anti killing Is hypocritical because of the Blue Spirit’s rampage and it’s possible that people died when Aang would defend himself and his allies?

If we were to apply real world physics, biology or just common sense to the story, the show would not happen because Aang would have died inside that iceberg - no scratch that, there wouldn't be a story because HUMANS CAN'T CONTROL THE GODDAMN ELEMENTS!

Katara, Aang and Sokka would have also died, or at least being severly injured, with lots of broken bones, and possibly paralyzed from the waist/neck down after their attempt of using the Omashu mail system as a rollercoaster.

Firebenders should accidentally burn themselves all the time since their flames are always either dangerous close to their skin or directly touching it as they are created. Don't even get me started on lightning, especially with stuff like Iroh redirecting lightning FROM THE GODDAMN SKY. Toph should have also gotten severe burns in the finale because of that full-body armor she made with ABSURDLY HOT METAL and that was in direct contact with her skin.

Realistically, Sokka should have not have been able to help evacuate an entire village with not previous plan to do so like we saw him do in "Jet." The man Haru and Katara saved in "Imprisoned" should have been very hurt after all those rocks fell on him, and the fact that no died in that metal ship after all the COAL they threw at FIREBENDERS is absurd.

When the pirates put explosives in Zuko's ship, there's a split second where we can see he created a fire-shield - that would in now way in hell be able to allow him to just be walking around the following episode, with just a few superficial burns that are already healed in season two.

In the season one finale, Zhao very clearly aimed his flames at BOTH koi fish, yet only the one with the moon spirit died. Everything also becomes black and white for no real reason since the moonlight has nothing to do with how humans see things

For fuck's sake, the show full on says "AANG DIED AND KATARA BROUGHT HIM BACK FROM THE DEAD!"

Avatar is a children's show AND a cartoon. It operates on cartoon logic - aka, unless death is explicitly mentioned (Gyatso, Kya, Aang) or VERY heavily implied (Zhao, Jet, Combustion Man) we are supposed to assume that, somehow, everyone survived. The fact that fandom can accept EVERYTHING being unrealistic, then complains that people Aang fought survived the impossible just screams "I don't like that this character in a kid's show doesn't go around murdering every enemy in his path!" or "I don't like Aang because he got in the way of my ship, so I'll take any excuse to pretend he is actually a terribly written character everyone should hate!"

As for the Koizilla situation in particular, lets not forget that the very next episode has Aang having nightmares about it and showing that he very clearly does not know how to control the Avatar State, how it works, or even what it is. Roku literally shows up to EXPLAIN that stuff to him. HOW can we hold Aang accountable for something that was not his decision?

Once again, because of cartoon logic, the only sort of confirmed death was Zhao - and that one was 100% on the Ocean Spirit, since he had already split from Aang.

Not to mention "this person accidentally died because of one of my actions" is not always the same as "this person died because I chose to kill them." It's like the difference between a car crash where the driver wasn't able to stop in time VS literally shooting someone in the face.

Plus, in the finale Aang even reached the conclusion that, if he had no alternative, he WOULD kill Ozai, even though that would obviously take a great psychological/spiritual toll on him, because it would be ONE LIFE TAKEN AS A WAY TO SAVE THOUNSANDS, and even before that he had no problem with things like Sokka killing Combustion Man or even full on admiting "Fire Lord Ozai is a terrible person and the world would probably be a better place without him".

It's pretty clear that, even if Avatar DID go there and said "sometimes people died in battles against the Gaang", it would still NOT contradict Aang's beliefs, and therefore he is NOT a hypocrite, and the idiots of the fandom can die mad about it.

[owen-not-carvour]

OK LONG POST HERE WE GO!!!

i had the absolute privilege of seeing WVU/metropolitan theater ride the cyclone not once, but twice this week (opening and closing nights!!)

and lemme tell ya it was AMAZING. definitely one of my favorite casts/productions i’ve seen. so here’s the thoughts:

number one: it was overall very similar to 2016 original cast!! many of the actions were played very similarly to that one,, but it was also very different. bc script changes (i still miss ricky conceding, love conquers all and oceans line about not knowing/caring abt people in life and regretting it though) but also bc there were puppets. more on that later lol

-the set was AMAZING, here’s a picture i took from today before it started

i just love looking at this.

and going off of that. fuckin look at karnak!!!!! he’s so cool! reminds me of a muppet in the best way lol

-i also swore that virgil was wearing an ‘in case i make it’ by will wood shirt. i don’t actually think he was for a few reasons lol but i do think it was a very similar design fghgfd

-i love the uranium suite choreo so much. ocean put SO MUCH into those little scoop thingys fhsjhd but whenever they Died,, the round and round part,, the choreo looked more like the choreo from way back during waiting for the drop and i LOVE THAT. i miss that song a lot too.

-THEY ALSO DID THE WOO!! BEFORE THE END AND I LOVE THAT TOO!!!!!

-the layout of the coaster was cool: it was

ocean mischa

constance ricky

noel

which i thought was a great was to show their personalities over their friendships sort of :)

OK,, JANE DOE: i love her design in this one. she had pink ribbons on her pigtails and big ole eyelashes and i LOVE HER.

-she also had a comb for her dolly and used it to stab it while she was talking abt the lion thing. it was really funny fhsjhd

-her way of talking was also really cool. she broke off the sentences in different places than what i’ve heard before and just kind of had more of a sort of curious and clueless way about her. it was like “and so. i walk alone and wonder. why?” and just. her <3333 she was so good.

-during oceans little monologue (her speech) before what the world needs,, jane also put her head on constance’s shoulder and just. amazing. it was so funny she’s so sweet fhsjhd

-during the new birthday song (or. after it while they’re all talking) she was also super cute.. like played around w her party hat and ricky’s little xylophone thing he was playing for the song. i just think she’s great fhsjdh

ok back to The Rest,,

-seeing the upop bits was hilarious. like i’ve read them and seen a few performances of it,, but seeing it live was so good fhjshd also constance’s costume had such cute details!! she had rainbow details on her shoes and a couple enamel pins on her pinafore!

-constance and ocean also did their little handshake thing as part of their dance during its just a ride and that made me almost cry too fhsjdh

-they added “prestigious university” into oceans list of Reasons She’s The Best or whatever. it’s funny bc wvu is Not At All That lol hdjshdjs (edit: finally reread the new script and Yes that’s in there but it is still Really funny lol)

-ok what the world needs was so funny. love love love ocean (she’s the worst!!) but this one was like. manic abt it in the best way. her riff at the end was hilarious too. a lot of “ooooh i’m better than youuuu and youuuu and allllll of youuuohooooohohohooooo” it was great. also the turntable was super cool in this show bc it was like a mini stage which helped w levels and stuff too! (another note abt this ocean, she definitely made her own choices but she also rlly reminded me of tiffany which was fun!!)

-this noel was. SO gay. they all are. but This One. GODDAMN!! he was awesome. he did the intro monologue in a much more dramatic way than khobly (still referencing my 2016 thoughts) ..like kholbys version was kinda done like. noel was slightly embarrassed not abt who he was but like,, more so circumstancial stuff if that makes sense? he got excited abt the whole missing teeth thing and all, right. (just to give a reference on how these noels are different!!) this noel was drawn out dramatic through the wholeeeee thing. he was amazing.

-the taco bell picture comes up and mischa’s like hahahhaa the Fuck lol and noel starts like pouting. “what is That” “i was hoping you could tell me” “NO!!☹️” bro sounded like he was bout to cry dhshdh he was so good

-OK THE QUICK CHANGE!! y’all know how he kinda strips in 2016 and Other versions? NOPE THIS ONE WAS ALLLL TEARAWAY!! it happened so fast,, he was like FINE *RIP* and BOOM lingerie. it was incredible. he also wore on of those long fluffy flowy “i just killed my husband for the money” robes. y’all he looked so good

-today was especially great. noel’s lament was insane. i have literally never heard a louder audience for anything. every time he’d do anything people would scream (bc he was fucking killing it) and when he went down to “die” the first time. he just kinda sat and did the little wave to get people to make more noise. it was amazing. i wish i could’ve fuckin videod or some shit bc it was soooo good.

-mischa. mischa bachinski. this guy was perfect for him (i am so sorry i don’t know the actors names by the way). tbh i love when mischa’s short. and bouncy. his rage was a lot of jumping and punching air and just. i loved that for him. TSIA was hilarious as usual, it always is. i really liked how they Made a jet with their arms on that line,,, but TALIA. she was actually an actress on stage and they did the whole dance together and then she ran away on the last OOOOOHHHHHHHHHH and it was SO good wtf. talia Always gets me so this was so exception for sure.

-this entire cast is definitely one of my favorites for sure. but tHIS RICKY IS BY FAR MY FAVORITE ONE EVER. he was incredible y’all. like they all were but. ricky. his choices like. landed SO perfectly every time. “i’m tellin’ you right now, monkeylovedrop! :)” SHIT WAS AMAZING (not to mention i didn’t know abt ricky’s new background in the script so that was also fucking hilarious.)

-not to mention the way he did the very end section of the song the way alex did,, like melody wise?? i LOVE THAT (i just like hearing it that way more lol) so that made me super happy.

-oh and remember how i said there were puppets? i fuckin WISH i could’ve taken a picture of it. the zolarians were cat puppets that came out from the alcoves on the sides of the stage and they were fuckin NEON BLUE AND GREEN with holographic details. no one was ready for that but it was PERFECT DFGHJGFGH

-also the actual sabm costume??? he was glittery and neon and flared pants and heeled boots and neon green cat ears and he LOOKED SO MF GOOD HAHAHAHA

-the energy of the whole fucking show was so amazing. especially today (closing performance). people were cheering through the whole damn thing it was perfect.

-TBOJD: the way she said MY TURN!!! was so cute. it was like !! MY TURNNNN !! all excited and drawn out a little. good for her.

—but mainly. there were 2 things happening here. 1) the actress was AMAZING. i think she also may be one of my favorite janes ever. she did this Thing with her hands at one point,, and i can’t really describe it,, but it was like she was just trying to make sure she could still Feel. and it was rlly cool. 2) MORE PUPPETS!?!?!?! this time it was when the music kicked up,,, the rest of the choir was doing their own sick choreo but there were also uhhh big ass worms among them too. they were actually pretty cool.. big teeth and the way they moved was really fun to watch but it did feel a touch overcrowded at times 🙃

-THE OTHER THING WAS THE FLIGHT!!!!! SHE STILL FLEW!! she didn’t go upside down or spin but the fact she went up as high as she did (like above the spinny thing on the stage part of the set) was incredible. and yes ofc she absolutely MURDERED THOSE HIGH NOTES IN THE BEST WAY POSSIBLE. i was mentally taking notes on her techniques the entire time fhsjhd (fun fact,, after the song today when i cheered/screamed for my applause i did in fact hit the note dhjshd it was a surprisingly supported one too lol)

-sugar cloud: JANE STARTED THE CHOREO AND THEN THEY ALL DID IT AFTER HER <33333 i will always love how sugar cloud is just Them uninhibited. it’s so good that way. this constance was also SO good with the way she did the monologue too. there were a few strong hints of regret but overall it was just Acceptance and moving forward and just hnnnnnnn she was wonderful.

-AND THEN THERE WERE MORE PUPPETS!!!! legit just little blobs of color that danced a little bit too. very cute, very constance fhsjhd my friend said the orange one was her favorite character and stole the show even lol. they were very expressive hfjdh

-there were a LOT of points where the audience were clapping along too and it made me sooooo happy. there was a part in noel’s lament, talia, and sugar cloud and just <333

-another few points that i saw throughout the show,, noel and constance besties. they were always hangin around each other.. same w mischa and constance. she’d make her quips against ocean and mischa’d be like YEAAHHHHHHH!! legit heard constance go-after the upop drugs bit- “yeah! you liked that one!! i’d been working on it for a bit!” <333

-really maybe just noel besties with everyone bc he also gave jane like. a Good hug before she left.. <33

-last thing that had me Dying,, noel also went up to ocean and put his hand on her shoulder and stood real close to her after she made her final vote. and ocean looked at him and leaned into it. and just. the growth from them both for that <3333 they’re so special to me.

-legit i think the only remote criticism i have is that it’s just a ride went SO FUCKING FAST???? like i don’t think y’all are taking enough of a look around at that speed lol.. it just wasn’t enough time to rlly enjoy how good that song is yknow.

overall wvu rtc completely blew me away and i desperately hope SOMEONE has a slime tutorial of it because GODDAMN THAT VERSION WAS GOOD!!! i need more ppl to talk abt it dhjshdj

[n0t-vzin1s]

bf!armin x fem!reader

guys i won't hesitate to admit that i'm head over fucking heels in love with armin and if you disagree, fucking fight me

also sorry to my gn or male readers!! these hcs would only make sense with a fem!reader due to how it was written (i am so tired i didn't even realize)

----------------------------

aot manga spoilers

god where do i start with this maaan

you more or less likely grew up with him, eren, and mikasa

so one day

when you know

THE FUCKING WALLS FELL

he was with you and eren that day

and istg the scared look on his face had you IN TEARS

fuck your parents, armin is all that matters

i would sell my left kidney for armin

anyways

during training, you were almost certain that armin was gay

like absolutely in love with eren LOL

so you brought it up

"yo homie are you gay?"

and he looked at you with the most PUZZLED expression like 😨

but he was like "nah fam"

and he whipped out the "i.." awkward ass gulp "like someone else"

and you already knew it was either you or mikasa but mikasa seen him as brother

and let's b honest

who wouldn't have a crush on armin!!

yeah you were one of em

time skip to god fucking knows where

bro grows some balls and kisses your goddamn ass

regardless

halfway thru, it was ruined due to eren and mikasa walking in like "woah. who is THIS BABE??"

until they realized it was you and that they were screwed lmAo

armin is extremely soft

like not even in like his skin is soft

he's just

baby

yk?

he's so gentle and scared to hurt you

and he's constantly checking up on you and making sure you're okay

often brings you things to show you

he LOVES reading books with you about the outside world

esp b4 he seen the ocean!!

i could see him and you taking horse rides into the large forest against levi's wishes

he feels rebellious when he's with you

random hc buuuut i feel like he would LOVE to dance in the rain

or lay in the grass and watch the stars all the way to the sun rise with you

he knows every single constellation

no doubt abt that

for your birthday, he gets you books!! it's more of a gift to himself, really, but you don't mind cause it's cute!!

for HIS birthday?

you get him books.

for valentine's day?

books.

it's always fuckin books

but it's armins hobby and you love him for it

armin is extremely awkward and constantly needs praise

he has a fear of yoh leaving him for some one who he considers "better"

and you have to remind him

"armin honey there is no one better than you"

he constantly has to be near near you on the field cause he's scared of losing you

but you have to remind him that you can handle yourself

honestly

he finds it hot when you take down a titan

cause like

your muscles are flexing against the tight suit and he just likes the way it looks

he will stand up for you with his life

cleans your injuries for you since he's a goddamn doctor

what kind you may ask?

abortion

he often writes stories abt you

they don't explicitly say your name, but you often realize that they describe you

he actually wanted to be a writer at some point in his life before everything went down

during the time you visited marley, the two of you got some quality time in like eren and mikasa had

but the two of you often sought out the other for comfort when eren started changing

cause like

you grew up with that boy

and to see him change his life so drastically kinda hurt the both of you

regardless

his dreams kinda went down the drain like eren life did

he was so happy that he got to see the ocean with you of all people though

when sasha died, he cried in your arms

as well, when he hange died and he technically became the next commander

he needed a lot of comfort

cause he wasn't sure he was going to do good

but armin struggles to talk abt his feelings!! so to have him open up to you and let himself feel vulnerable infront of you is a huge step for himself

he often doubts his self-worth!! like way too often to be considered normal

anyways

when the rumbling started, his priorities were both you, and mikasa

and he did his best to keep you safe

but hot goth mommy mikasa honestly did better

don't tell him that tho

he never talked about the future

like what would happen after all the titans went away

omg how could i forget

when he became a titan, he started closing himself off for weeks at a time cause he didn't like killing innocent people

but when he opened up you felt bad for him

cause he was so exhausted

like he hadn't slept for weeks at a time

armins trauma is so overlooked

anyways back to the future

he honestly wanted to travel the world and write about what he'd seen over the years

he also wouldn't allow himself to get into a relationship with you until the whole thing was over

cause even tho it would hurt, atleast you or him would've died knowing that there wasn't a future for either of you

buuut it still hurts lol

anyways when he killed eren, he literally sobbed for weeks

regardless if he was seen as a hero in others eyes, he didn't see himself as one

but during the aftermath, when he gets to finally settle down with you, he feels ecstatic

mikasa, you and him (as well as the other living cadets) often visit erens grave and leave things there

armin usually leaves little notes telling him about his life and how things are doing

and they always end in the same way

"how are you doing up there?"

and he usually gets a sign back from the universe somehow, sometimes it'll be a bird landing on him, and other times it could be leaves swirling around him

regardless, it leaves him happy and you in tears every damn time

whenever there's a thunderstorm, armin always says (without failure)

"oo, someone pissed eren off again" while laughing

and you can never understand how he's not sad by his death

he is

god i wrote this with the intention of it being happy but i'm fucking sobbing i hate this

----------------------------

[sabo-has-my-heart]

Congratulations for 750! Can I please request:

Kid: scenario 5, muli-purpose 5

Or

Katakuri: scenario 18, multi-purpose 1

So since you didn't specify what you wanted the multi-purpose prompt to be, I made it sort of angsty, I think. Sorry this took so long, I was having a hard time writing it.

Warnings: cussing, mentions of possible death, angst? (idk, I’m half asleep, angst, fluff, it’s up to you)

Word Count: 1110

     Looking down at the ring on your hand, you couldn’t help but glare slightly. It had been still ever since that day. It was part of a set, two rings that were supposed to allow you to feel each other’s heartbeats. He’d left you behind on this god forsaken island, that you weren’t ‘strong enough’ that you ‘needed more training’. You knew it was a pretense to protect you, that he didn’t want you hurt, but it had still irked you. You weren’t weak by any means, maybe not as strong as him or Killer, but certainly not weak. But he’d left you behind all the same, only to go and die himself. At least, you assumed he was dead, the ring you wore was too quiet for him to still be alive. Of course, while Kid had said that you needed more training, to get stronger, there wasn’t much training you could do on this island, nothing there being strong enough to provide you with any real challenge. So you did the only thing you could think of once you knew he wasn’t coming back, you went out on your own. You’d gotten on the first ship you could find and left the island, you became your own pirate captain and gained your own bounty. It was nothing compared to Kid’s, but you honestly didn’t care, you were still a pirate. Furthermore, you’d never be called ‘weak’ again, out on the open waters you were able to become stronger, just like Kid had said. As much as you hated to admit it some days, Kid still had a hold over you. Everything you did was because of him. You’d set sail because of him, you’d gotten stronger because of him, you chose to become a captain because of him. Everything was because of him. Finally, you tore your eyes away from your ring and back out to the sea, you didn’t have time to be distracted, you had a crew to take care of and treasure to find.

     It was a few weeks later that you were once again glaring at the ring on your finger, though this time for entirely different reasons. You hadn’t noticed it when you’d first woken up, hadn’t even noticed it all through breakfast, or maybe it just hadn’t started yet, but now it was beating away, drawing all of your attention to it. Part of you wanted to rip it off and toss it in the ocean, but you couldn’t bring yourself to do so, likely for the same reason you hadn’t taken it off in the first place. Honestly, you didn’t know what to do now that you could feel his pulse again. Should you go find him? Avoid him? Maybe let him find you? Or maybe you could kick his ass, afterall, you were stronger now. For better or worse, you weren’t able to decide what to do, the Victoria Punk finding you before you got the chance to make a decision, Kid and crew attacking your vessel. The moment he laid eyes on you, he called off the attack, smirking as he walked up to you.

     “So this is where you’ve been? Instead of staying put like I told you to.” he said, crossing his arms and giving you that cocky smirk. His words, the look on his face, it infuriated you. It took him a moment to register that you’d punched him, his jaw aching from the force.

     “The fuck was that for?” he demanded, clearly angry, not that you actually cared, you were furious with him.

     “Staying put? You left me on a goddamned spit of land, disappeared for weeks then died! Or I guess you didn’t die, what, did you think I wouldn’t notice this thing stop beating? What did you honestly expect?” you shouted, eyes practically ablaze, your crew slowly backing away from you. They’d seen you angry, but they’d never seen you this angry. 

     “Did you really think I died or that I’d take it off? Why the hell did you just take off? You should have at least found a way to confirm if I was dead you dumb bitch!” he shouted back, only making you angrier. The two of you had had fights before, had shouting matches, but already you could tell that this was different and not just because you’d thought he was dead. The two of you continued insulting and yelling at each other, only stopping when it turned into a fist fight, both crews pulling you away from each other. 

     Taking a deep breath, you stepped back out on deck, your crew finally letting you out of your room now that you’d calmed down. Glancing over at the Victoria Punk, you noticed Kid standing on deck as well, looking about as calm as he ever had. As much as you didn’t want to, you walked over to the railing of your ship so you were across from Kid. 

     “So… you’re alive.” you muttered, trying to remain civil this time.

     “Did you actually think I was dead?” he asked, leaning against the railing.

     “Well I didn’t think you would take it off, so that didn’t leave me with many options.” you said with a shrug. Kid sighed irritably but nodded in understanding. You had a point, as much as he really didn’t want to admit it, “Listen, I… I don’t know whether or not you want me back on your crew, but either way, I have my own crew now, so it probably isn’t going to happen.” you said, looking down at the railing. Kid’s eyes narrowed as he looked away, he didn’t like the idea of you having your own crew for so many reasons, and yeah, he’d wanted you back on his crew.

     “Whatever, I don’t really care.” he said, admittedly lying through his teeth.

     “Well… I guess I’ll see you later Kid. It was… interesting seeing you again.” you said, pushing away from the railing, though not leaving just yet.

     “Am I going to see you later?” he asked bitterly, his hard gaze turning to you. You could see the anger in his eyes and just under the surface, invisible to almost everyone, pain. Pain that you weren’t going to be at his side, pain that you had other priorities now.

     “Yeah, Sure. So long as I know you’re alive, we’ll probably run into each other sooner or later.” you said, finally turning around and walking away. Your words hurt, but he let you go. He’d make sure to run into you every now and then, make sure you were safe, but he’d keep his distance. At least, for now.

[lovememadly92]

Hello everyone, hope everyone is doing well! Thank you for reading, it absolutely means the world to me. No disrespect to the veterans, this story is based on actor portrayal only! Hope you enjoy and have a wonderful day/night!

Chapter 4

I wake up and find myself back on the beach, my favorite beach back in the Hamptons. Our grandfather would bring us here every time in our summer home while our parents went on vacation back in Europe.

Walking on the white sand, I found a blanket laid out there already, but no one was there. Being me, I look around and take a seat on it, watching the beautiful blue waves crashing into the shore. It’s so peaceful here, so quiet. No war, no exploding trees, it was just me, the beach and the beautiful ocean breeze.

My solace is interrupted by a bark, and I look to my left, seeing none other than my dog, Maggie Mae running towards me, toppling me over and licking my face. Wait where I am I? Maggie Mae died of old age.

“There she is!” I hear a voice and see none other than my brother Tony, sitting right next to me.

I sit right up and embrace him right in my arms. “What are you doing here Tony?” I had tears in my eyes and look at him to see if he had any injuries, any cuts. “You are okay, Tony, you are not hurt.”

“I am not actually, I am home finally, one of my favorite places in the world,” he smiled and looked at me. “What are you doing here?”

“I don’t know,” I answered honestly and laid down on the towel. “But I don’t want to leave, war has me tired.” I whine softly and Tony looks at me.

“Always the whiner Charlotte. It's not your time yet sweetheart, you’ll break his heart if you do stay here with us,” he said softly. “There are people who love you that are waiting for you to go back.”

I sit back up and smile at him. “You were the only one that loved me. Mom and dad don’t even love me.”

“Who said I was talking about mom and dad,” he said softly. “Go Charlie, I will see you when the time comes. In the meantime, I don’t want to see you back here.”

He grabbed my hand and helps me up. Tony pulls me into a gentle hug and points to the water.

“Go Charlie go!!!”

I run towards the water and never look back…

Suddenly, my eyes open and I start gasping for air. I can see two pairs of eyes staring at me, staring in disbelief. “Where am I?” I tried to move around, trying to grasp what was going on but I feel my body in so much pain and lightheaded.

“Is Harry, okay? How about Dick? Lewis? Oh god, Lewis!”

I tried to get up, but Eugene holds me still and tries to calm me down. “Spina go get the two captains now!” Spina scurries like a roadrunner while I am here, trying to get up but Doc does not let me. My chest heaves up and down, I cover my face full of tears and even pull my hair.

“God, I hope they are okay, goddamn it! I should have never turned on that fire.”

A sob escapes my lips and I start to rock myself back and forth. “God please let them be okay, please let them be okay.”

“They are fine lieutenant, Lieutenant Welsh was the only one injured, but he will be fine,” he said softly and held me gently in his arms. “Now I really need you to calm down and let me check your injuries.”

I nodded but my tears kept flowing down my cheeks. “And how about Luz, is he okay as well?”

“I think so dear, now please lay back and let me check on you,” he repeated, and I laid back on the bed.

God why did I just break down? Goddamn it.

“Charlie?! Charlie?!”

My face turns to look over the opening as I hear his voice. “Lewis?! I am here. I am in here!”

When I saw him appear at the door, I pushed Doc out of the way, walking straight into his arms and I start sobbing. “God I am sorry Lewis; I am sorry. I shouldn’t have light that fire; I was cold, and I couldn’t take it anymore…”

“It’s okay sweetheart,” he soothed and held me gently in his arms, kissing my forehead. “It is all good. Now let them check those injuries, okay?” I nodded and he gently scooped me up in his arms, laying me gently on the bed.

They checked my injuries, and I had a couple of burns, a piece of shrapnel stuck to my hip and a cut on my head. I held Lewis’ hand as they gently pull out the piece of shrapnel from my hip.

“Ow, what the fuck? Can you be gentler Doc?”

“Charlie be nice to the Doc please?” Lewis asked.

“Okay, sorry Doc. I am just being a big baby,” I groaned and saw the big piece that he took out of my hip.

“Lucky for you lieutenant, it did not hit any major organs, so you are fine. You are going to be out for a couple of weeks though due to those burns,” he said, and I sighed in frustration.

God, I hate fucking being stuck in hospitals. I remember when I was five years old, they had me in isolation because I had gotten diphtheria. I didn’t get to see my family for a month and the only person that would come for an update was my grandfather and Tony. My parents did not give a shit about me to even come and try to see me. All they did was give the hospital money to get me better and when I did, the first thing they did is send me off to Europe with my au pair.

Lewis sensed that I was upset and told Doc to leave us alone to talk. Once he left, I let my tears drop on my lap and Lewis gently started wiping them away with his thumb. “Tell me. What is going on Charlie?”

“I just hate being stuck here in the hospital,” I cried. “It reminds me of the time when I was five years old. I gotten diphtheria and they isolated me in the hospital, away from others. I had no one to talk to, except the nurses who came to check on me. The only people that would come to check on my status was my grandfather and Tony. My parents wouldn’t even bring me my favorite toy, my favorite book to read, they left me alone.”

God, I hate being so fucking vulnerable. “God I am so sorry for being such a baby.”

Lewis gently cupped my face with one hand, smiling softly at me. “Don’t be sorry beautiful. It is one of the things I enjoy about you, my big baby.” He manages to get a smile on my face, and I smack him playfully. “You will never be alone; you will always have me by your side. Stay for a couple of days, rest up. I promise you that I will personally bust you out of this hospital.”

“You promise?”

He leaned in and kissed me softly on my lips. “I promise.”

January 2nd, 1945

As promised, Lewis managed to help me bust out of the hospital to go back to the line. However, it was with the promise that I do not overwork myself and report to him when I can at battalion CP. Although I do not miss the exploding trees and the harsh winter, I do miss the fresh air and my friends.

“Look who is back!!!!”

I turn around and Luz did not even give me a chance to react when he picked me up in his arms and spun me around. However, that did not sit well with Lewis.

“Luz, be careful,” he scolded as he grabbed my stuff. “She is still recovering, take it easy.”

He slammed the Jeep door, and he heads back to battalion CP while George sets me down and gives me a hug. “Nice to have you back Charlie, I was starting to miss ya and it was getting boring without you. So, is it true?”

“What is true?”

He smiled sadly and cupped my face gently. “That you died and came back.”

Lewis confirmed with me that my heart had stopped beating for a couple of minutes. All I can remember is being at my favorite beach in the Hamptons and seeing my brother, my beautiful dog Maggie Mae, and him telling me that he would be heartbroken if I stayed.

Other than that, I do not remember much.

“Don’t worry about it Luz,” I said softly and cupped his face. “Now I am here and that is all that matters. I hope you still thought about our discussion the other day.”

“That Cary Grant is still better than Humphrey Bogart? Yeah no, Humphrey is still the best one.”

“I said Cary Grant will always be the best!”

Our discussion ran throughout the night. And no exploding trees interrupted us.

*****

The following day, I was sitting at battalion CP, reading Anna Karenina after a morning walk and check on the soldiers. Everyone was happy to see me back, asking me if the stories about me dying and coming back were true. Although I was not comfortable about them asking that, I am glad that I was able to see them again.

Hopefully, the ones I talked to, stay alive.

“Oh, Lieutenant Anderson, nice to see you back.” A monotone voice distracts me and I look up to see none other than Dike coming back to battalion CP like he always does.

“Its good to be back sir.”

I know he wasn’t glad to see me back, I was always a nuisance ever since we have met. He has even thrown jabs at me as to why women do not belong in the military. He was just as bad as bad as Sobel.

“You should have stayed in the hospital, better yet, pulled you off the line. You are too injured to be here with us. And you become a liability to the company. Hell, women in general can become a distraction when it comes to matters of men.”

Here we go.

I slowly close my book and stand up face to face with him. Like if that’s going to do me any good but he pushed me to my limit.

“Lieutenant Anderson may I speak with you for a moment.”

Goddamn Lewis, always with the right timing.

“Lieutenant, I need to speak with you now.”

Dike just smiled and walked away from me. Then Lewis came and pulled me to the side. “Ow what the fuck Lewis that hurt!”

“I am sorry,” he said softly and waited for Dike to leave so he can continue to talk to me. God it was fucking freezing I swear to God. I am going to hate winter forever. “But Charlie, you cannot be going up to his face. With a snap of a finger, he can have you thrown out. Is that what you want?”

I pout and stomp my foot in the snow. “No, I don’t want that, what I want is people to respect me, Lewis. I worked hard if not twice as hard to get where I need to get. Fuck I graduated early with the highest praise. I graduated top of my class in OCS, what more do these assholes want?” I shake my head and I feel the tears at brim of my eye. “If I wanted to get degraded as such, I would just go home and have my father and mother beat it out of me.”

He looks down at me and gently tips my chin up so I can look at him.

“That’s why I need you here my smart girl,” he began. He looked like he wanted to say something else but all he responded with was a smile, his boyish smile that makes the butterflies in my stomach go crazy. “Now go back to CP, I will make you some coffee.”

“Sounds like a plan.”

I continued reading my book to Lewis as he prepared me some coffee. Dick came back and we all sat there, chattering teeth and all but having a good talk.

Then minutes later, Lip came with us with the bad news that Hoobler was dead. He accidentally shot himself with the Luger he carried in his pants. It hit the main artery and there wasn’t much one can do.

“Cut that main artery, that’s that’s it.”

I look at Lewis and he was at a loss for words. I was at a loss for words also, poor Hoob, all eager for his Luger. I even told him that if he couldn’t get one here, after the war, I would have given him one of my grandfather’s Lugers.

It all seemed so pointless now.

Lip was about to excuse himself when Dick stopped him. “Where is Dike?”

I roll my eyes and look at my lap.

Of course fucking Foxhole Norman was nowhere in sight. Always walking around, not making decisions at all. What the fuck did regiment see in him?

Once Lip left, Dick stared at Lewis, stared at me. “Don’t look at me Dick. I would have made sure for him to be careful shooting those things. Knocked me down when I first shot it at three years old.”

“You shot a gun at three years old?” Dick asked.

I nodded and chuckled. “Yeah, that at three years old and a rifle at five years old. Point being this shit shouldn’t have happened.” I was trembling from the cold. “Sorry for my colorful language. I am freezing and that person pissed me off.”

Lewis rubbed my back, and I took a sip of what was left of my coffee.

God I really hope that after this, they pull us off the damn line. And hopefully that this war will finally be over with all of us being unscathed.

But like always, I have a feeling it won’t be that way.

“More coffee?”

[thevoidbunny]

I managed to get enough storage on my phone to play through the rest of travel memories so here's what I though of them

Ocean Sovereign: WHY IS IT SO LONG? Sorry, it was just surprising it went on for 20 stages when usually the events are just 12 stages. That, and there was so much stuff going on. We had Genevieve and Smokey's entire feud, Fleur and his gift, and Beryl's whole deal, it just felt like they were shoving everything into one story. But I guess I shouldn't be too hard since it was the third event ever. Beryl and Raphael's friendship carried it in the beginning, and then around stage 15 everything really started picking up steam. The entire Heat Wave section was actually really good and got me reinvested in the story. Which leads us to...

Endgame: A surprising improvement! Despite having no battles, the story was concise and gave everyone their own time to shine. Plus the "Vice wanted to be a Navigator" part hits different with Keen Sight around. Rating: Beach Episode/10

Dunefire Strike: Now I get why everyone praises this event, because it was that good. The best way I can describe it is like watching an action movie. It's just a fight for survival, and you can FEEL that so well. Everyone coming together to take down Hylinger gave me goosebump man. 10/10 Putting the rest under cut because I wrote too much lol.

Letters From The Skies: As someone who read Paloma's file before playing this event, learning just HOW they died fucked me up. Literally had to put down my phone and walk around. Pittman is okay, but he is naive to the fact true justice can't be achieved in the state Lumopolis is in. Those two aside, the courier sideplot was really cute, and the part were the letters fell from the skies gave me chills. Also, I have huge respect for Lin Guild now. Rating: I'm crying/10

Gloom of the night: It was alright, but im asking this right now. Why does everyone seem sympathetic to Rein? When I first heard of him I though he was just a guy who got hit with the ire of Lumopolis but,, He literally gave out enhancers that mutated people into Eclipsites, tried to assassinate Istavn to take over Umbraton, and almost destroyed the dam protecting the city from flooding. Is it because he's considered attractive??? IS THAT IT- Rating: TRUE ORDER CAMEO/10 Aurora Aeterna: Wow, I don't think I've ever hated a character as much in this game as Hedy. First off the pros: Cordy wasn't that bad as I thought, she's just got the short end of the stick considering her artwork. Paloma appeared so that's a plus. Pittman's learning but you can't undo a lifetime of conditioning in a few weeks so he still slips up. Shoutout to Carleen trying to get justice (even if it is vetoed). Now the cons: Hedy fucking sucks man. I already didn't like her when she first appeared (she was giving me off vibes), but then when she was telling Pittman he should stay in his place, AND THEN the entire veiled death threat to Paloma, WHEN HEDY LITERALLY READ HER FILE AND THUS KNOWNS HER FAMILY WERE UNJUSTLY KILLED.... She's so lucky she's a video game character. Sure she "improves" by the end, but unless some major character development occurs, Hedy is bottom of the tier list. But Hedy ain't the only one who's earned my goddamn Ire. Let's talk about Schwartz shall we? For being the so called ruler of Lumopolis, he sure is a fucking puppet head for the nobles. Maintain order at all cost, he says. But what happens when that order causes another injustice to occur? That lets another innocent girl like Paloma to lose her family? That lets another child like Beryl to be experimented on? Or that lets another scummy noble get away with their crime? Reinhardt gets a pass because she definitely was putting up an act about how she truly feels surrounding Illumina's experiments, and Bethlehem was trying to keep everyone in the room calm. Rating: Upper Lumopolis burns at dawn/10

[afsosville]

Here are the Calamity Shen Jiu headcanons>>

There’s going to be some ATLA references so be warned.

PIDW is a cultivation setting where demons and humans are the prevalent races, whereas TGCF and MDZS feature ghosts instead of demons as the entity that cultivators and gods exterminate. I’m gonna have to actually do some worldbuilding so I don't have plot holes like Airplane bro.

Luo Binghe's reign over the realms was like a forest fire in the eyes of the heavens. That is one of the reasons why they never interfered with the demonic emperor's tyranny until the very end and let the wheel of fate run its course. To extinguish the current world for a new one to come to life in its place. The human realm is preserved, while the demon realm no longer exists. Demons, demonic/spiritual beasts, and the like have long since died out/were killed or very few of them remain. There is now an abundance of ghosts, spirits, and undead corpses (and everything else that is native to TGCF) as a result of the grave amount of deaths and mass carnage in PIDW. The undead weren't as big of an issue until now. Luo Binghe wiped out the demon population almost to extinction and a good chunk of the human population, cultivators and civilians alike. 

Soooo guess what type of creatures run rampant now? Ghosts!!! Demons become a distant thing of the far past. Come centuries later after a change in the Heavenly dynasty and Jun Wu happened, so did the rise of ghost kings to replace demon lords. 

Ghost kings cultivate all their (resentful) energy themselves to reach the devastation level. They go through their own trials and tribulations, like Mount Tonglu, to become ghost kings. Compared to heavenly demons, whose power is simply given to them at birth, ghost kings are definitely the more powerful beings imo. Not that heavenly demons can't cultivate to become more powerful, but seriously, you think smn who came fresh outta the kiln is smt to scoff at?? 

See, now we have an actual green calamity that is a devastation, not whatever sorry excuse of a calamity Qi Rong is! (Love that green gremlin too tho, but please!) Shen Jiu takes on a different name, and wears darker shades of green, and black. He has Earth centric powers and is an elemental calamity like He Xuan. Think of Earthbenders from ATLA but OP. He’s moving mountains and can create peaks, valleys, canyons, and is responsible for earthquakes with the highest magnitudes. Just hurling landmasses with abandon and slicing through the Earth like no one’s business. Lava/glass bending is also in his domain. Speaking of which, it would be cool if Shen Jiu was the one making the terrain and lanscapes move on Mt. Tonglu, and can also talk to the mountain spirits. He can also give sentience to Earth golems and lava monsters. If Shen Jiu’s ghost king design gives off Kyoshi vibes then I did smt right. I believe Shen Jiu should have access to lethal war fans no matter the AU. Kyoshi controls the elements with her fans, and I’m making that Shen Jiu’s thing too. He can also see through his Earthbending abilities like Toph can.

Fighting a ghost king that can use the very ground you walk on to kill you is terrifying, yes. And worse, you're not safe anywhere, and there's another calamity that rules the goddamn oceans. 

I wanted Shen Jiu’s hair crown to look like a halo for no other reason than making it look like Shen Jiu is mocking the Gods. Plus it looks pretty. He doesn’t have eyes bc, one was plucked out by Luo Binghe ofc, and the other one was burned by the acid in the water prison. I imagine that whenever he talks, his voice echoes in a haunting way and he doesn't even make the effort to move his mouth because he's using his qi to project his voice. Bro doesn’t have a tongue. As for the limbs, they’re made out of stained glass that he managed to temper/regenerate in the kiln. 

I’m thinking… that the name Shen Jiu gives himself is Shen Heishan, meaning dark mountains. Probably. This would be a reference to the burning of Cang Qiong. Also alludes to his Earth-centric abilities.

The death of Yue Qingyuan was what killed him. He swallowed the shards of Xuan Su, and had become a wrath the moment he died. I wanted this to parallel Hua Cheng, when he became a wrath ghost when he saw Xie Lian be pierced by a hundred swords -> Shen Jiu became a wrath when Yue Qingyuan was pierced by ten thousand arrows. 

Shen Jiu is called Jaded Night Shatters Heaven because, just shortly after the kiln, he started a massacre on the current dynasty of gods, under an ethereally lit emerald night sky. I know it was originally White No Face who did the killing and that fact is so cool. Like imagine just slaughtering every single god in existence and rebuilding heaven itself with their fucking remains. On top of taking over as heavenly emperor and fooling all the gods that ascended afterwards??? Absolutely insane. That's pretty much it. I want to see a calamity who’s known for slaughtering a dynasty of gods, and well this AU is about Shen Jiu so let him do it. 

The whole heavenly bridge incident with Bai Wuxiang happened 500 years prior (making Shen Jiu about 1500 years old currently, and the 2nd eldest ghost king), and it was during the events of PIDW and Bingge taking over the two realms did Bai Wuxiang plan on killing all the gods in the middle of all the mayhem. Too bad Shen Jiu got to it first. Bai Wuxiang was silently killing the gods Shen Jiu didn’t in the background. Shen Jiu was just killing indiscriminately in a blind rage, while Bai Wuxiang wanted to kill everyone methodically. Shen Jiu’s resentment is aimed at the heavens bc well, where else? The already charred human and demon realms? Or the third realm that watched the suffering run its course and did nothing to prevent ruination from happening? 

Piggybacking off of Levemetal’s idea, Shen Jiu would be a recluse, not wanting to be involved on any matters involving the ghost realm, and least of all the heavens. He made his point all those centuries ago lol. Yes, everyone keeps their distance from all the ghost kings, but Shen Jiu’s name provokes a whole other level of fear. 

As for weapons, I don't have anything concrete other than the war fans. If Shen Jiu has a blade, whether it be a daggers, a sword, or a scimitar/sabre, they would be forged when Shen Jiu coughs up the shards of Xuan Su. He would imbue the shard(s) with resentful energy to transform them into the blade. 

He could also use chains to fight. The chains are the same ones that held him up when he was being tortured in the water prison. I'm applying the same logic here with Xie Lian's Ruoye. His silk bands became sentient because it was drenched in Xie Lian's blood when it was used to tie him down while getting stabbed a hundred times. Xie Lian's parents also used it to kill themselves and Xie Lian *tried* to kill himself with it and it somehow got cursed with all that death qi/energy. Similarly, the chains from the water prison became poisoned by Shen Jiu's resentful qi, and it allows the chains to do what they want and have a mind of its own. 

And that's it!

I already have an AU with Shen Jiu in MDZS, so ofc I had a TGCF one backed up somewhere too.

*Slaps this onto the table*

GHOST KING SHEN JIU !!

A friend of mine also has a Calamity Shen Jiu AU of their own so check it out too! @levemetal

I'll rb with the headcanons later, but first, fics>>

Tales of the Five Calamities by FakeAlice

No Prayers for the Gods by Otno

To a Life (Never) Forgotten by Orphan Acc

These 3 were the only 3 I could find, like Calamity Shen Jiu is such a slept on idea fr.

And his Calamity title? Jaded Night Shatters Heaven

Here's more content abt Calamity Shen Jiu I posted a while ago as well if you've got the serious brainrot that I do>

[hellmouth-manor]

I'm going to walk into the ocean I'm so sad || Kamiya || Trial 4.4 || Re: A lot of people honestly.

It was hard listening to everything being said, silence on Kamiya’s part in between his own statements and a look of regret painted on his face. It hurt to know he had done everyone this much wrong, especially when his intentions had been nothing but good, at least in his eyes. It caused him to let out a deep breath as he looked over to Touji, trying to offer the smallest smile he could muster, it wasn’t a smile formed by joy, more acceptance.

“--Ya… Ya keep blamin’ her but I’m the one who killed first, man. She was scared, we all were. A person can only take so much fer that, yeah? It’s why she set up the trap. I’m the one who was too stupid t’ think b’fore leapin’ in this case. If I had done anythin’ t’ think fer a second, then I could’a saved them all. I-I didn’t stop t’ think fer a goddamn second about a plan t’ save ‘em that wouldn’t risk ‘em. When I saw ‘em there I just… I panicked, bro. I… Can’t speak fer anythin’ outside the trap, but she didn’t get me killed… I’m the only one t’ blame fer the shit I did, as unintentional as it was, bro.”

This all was heavy, and something which caused him to shake his head in response to his next question.

“I was alone. I ran off t’ find the first aid, ran all over the place tryin’ t’ remember where the fuck I could get it at. Ya can confirm with the demons that I was alone when I did that, I had t’ call ‘em t’ give me one. If I had remembered when I was by Mirai, then maybe… Maybe I could’a actually done somethin’.”

Then came Hibiki’s words, ones that caused his look of regret to only increase, the man who Kamiya viewed as his closest friend, like a brother to him in this case… It caused him to let out a laugh, devoid of any joy that he often presented, there was nothing to feel positive about in this case, he knew what he had done.

“...I haven’t lied once t’ ya bro, everythin’ I said is what I think happened. I don’t know how t’ make it more clear but… I haven’t been coverin’ fer Nono. If she did kill someone this is news t’ me… I really think Minami got killed by the shit I did somehow, I had no idea what happened. Ya saw how I reacted when she dropped dead there. I was just as fuckin’ confused as you guys were… B-But with Mirai, that one was me. I didn’t mean t’, but it was me.”

Then again, when someone was destined to fail the outfit of a hero would never fit, he’d always been afraid of ending up like this, someone who truly amounted to nothing in his life… Someone being disappointed in him wasn’t exactly a new feeling, but, someone who he cared about as much as he did Hibiki hurt even more than anything else, it caused him to nod along, frowning in response.

“...Be disappointed if ya want, man. But I haven’t lied t’ ya man. I haven’t covered fer her once in this, I just… I genuinely believe I’m the one who did all this… If ya hate me though, it’s chill. I ain’t gonna hold a grudge ‘bout this all, man.”

But, as Ruby spoke Kamiya turned his gaze toward her. She had every right to have this anger, this rage forming inside her, and Kamiya had no grounds to dispute that. It was a moment of silence on his part, before returning a gaze to her, a look of regret in his eyes as he nodded to her, fully accepting whatever she would do in the future.

“...When I’m a demon ya can beat the shit out of me whenever ya want. I ain’t gonna stop ya. I know what I did… I ain’t lyin’ an’ I know I hurt ya guys, I ain’t gonna ask fer forgiveness… I-I just… Don’t want ya guys t’ get hurt anymore, okay? Eli was there an’ saw everythin’ an’ if he’s… If he’s sayin’ I wasn’t there when Minami got attacked I’d believe him on that. I sure as fuck didn’t know, or, try t’ cover fer that though, I was the reason Mirai died though. I told ya guys we’d find the killer while we investigated, right? I… I-I was so confident I killed her, ‘s why I tried t’ lighten the mood ‘round ya guys too… I knew this would be hard, an’ I wanted t’ at least make some’a the final memories’a me alive not… This… But if yer angry, an’ ya wanna get back at me, I ain’t gonna stop ya.”

This all hurt, it was a heavy feeling in his chest, but, listening to Micah, then to Nike he shook his head, it was starting to get really tiring hearing one specific thing, one thing that everyone was so focused on this entire trial. And for a moment the endless patience that Kamiya had been showing snapped, he didn’t mean to raise his voice, but, in a moment of desperation it was important to make his voice heard.

“I. HAVE. NOT. BEEN. COVERIN’. FER. HER! DO I GOTTA YELL?! I’LL FUCKIN’ YELL IT AS LOUD AS I CAN. IF I’M WRONG IT’S NOT ‘CAUSE I’M COVERIN’ IT’S ‘CAUSE I’M FUCKIN’ STUPID OKAY? YOU ALL FUCKIN’ KNOW THAT!” 

“She texted me ‘bout the trap, minutes before shit happened t’ warn me not t’ go there! That’s all it was! I rushed in an’ fucked up afterwards! I didn’t think! I didn’t think fer a goddamn second, I just wanted t’ get that trap disabled so that no one would walk int’a it! That’s all it fuckin’ is! I don’t know what happened to Minami! But when ya kill one person an’ someone else drops dead moments after it’s hard t’ not blame yerself! –Also! Lay the fuck off of Eli, ya know how fuckin’ much he went through there? I get yer pissed, I understand it! But get pissed at me! I killed Mirai, I didn’t mean t’ but I sure as fuck did that! Bro was just in a bad fuckin’ spot, an’ he’s tryin’ t’ cope, he lost people too, lay the fuck off him, please.”

Then came Alou’s suggestion, one that caused his eyes to go wide as he shook his head, deciding to be as blunt as possible about this all.

“I confessed t’ avoid anyone random dyin’. If anyone even thinks t’ do shit like that I won’t forgive ya, I’m serious on that. At the end of the day I’m a murderer, I genuinely do not know what happened t’ Minami, it could have been me, or, it could have been Nono. I really, really don’t know. Please just stop actin’ like I’m some villain, ‘cause I’m trying to do right by confessing. As I said, I already accepted I was gonna die, so, just please let me do one thing right in my goddamn life.”

[light-yaers]

Lover: Chapter Two

Chapter List | AO3 | Fic Masterlist

Warnings: Swearing, alcohol and substance abuse, eventual sex/smut, mentions of death/cancer. 18+

A/N: i’m milking fluffy conrad for all he’s got before emo angst asshole conrad comes out to play and i’m not sorry about it!!!!

Word Count: 5k

Chapter Two: the dress.

“You’re in my room this summer,” Conrad said on your way up the stairs. You were tracking in sea water through the house. You silently apologised to Susannah, wherever she was now. 

“How come?”

 “Belly and Jere took his room. Steven’s in Belly’s old room. Laurel’s coming next week with Cleveland so they’re in Steven’s usual room. The guest room is full of—,” he stopped, swallowing slightly. “Mom’s old stuff. Stuff that we need to sort through, you know?”

 You nodded once, not needing any further explanation. 

 “And well,” he continued. “No one’s in her room, so,”

 “I get it,” you said reassuringly. The two of you stopped on the landing. “Where are you sleeping then?”

 Your question is answered when Conrad opens the door to his room. A mattress lies on the floor, new sheets on both the bed and the space on the floor. You immediately suck in a breath and go to protest. 

 “Conrad—,”

 “You’re a guest—,” he argued.

 “No, I’m fucking not. This is your house. You take the goddamn bed. I’ll cosy up on the floor,” you suggested forcefully. The last thing you ever wanted was for them to put themselves out for you, not when it’s been this long, not ever. 

 You walk into the room, looking at the familiar blue walls and assortment of sailing trophies. Conrad always was a star. 

 “No way in hell am I letting you sleep on the floor after five years away,” he says, and it sounds final. You still feel uncomfortable, turning around to send him a frown. 

 “But—,”

 “No buts,” he says. 

 “But—,” 

 He comes forward, placing cold hands upon your sopping shoulders with a smile. “No. Buts. Okay?” 

 His eyes have always been this big, such a deep shade of brown that you could easily fall into. They make a space warmer with the rays they reflect. You’d forgot how easy it was to lose yourself while looking into his face. Conrad was a man of little words when he didn’t feel like talking, but his face could always tell a thousand stories. 

 “Fine,” you give in finally. “But I won’t object to you sleepily flopping into the bed next to me if you need to, okay?” you say jokingly, his face flashes with a hint of something you’d never seen before—embarrassment, shyness, maybe? A few water droplets fall on you from his arms. “Just...” you push him away slowly. “Not if you’re sopping wet and salty,” 

 “Noted,” he agreed, moving past you to the chest of drawers. He opened the second drawer, pulling out some fresh clothes. You suddenly remembered your bags, downstairs. 

 “I’m just gonna grab my bags from the car,” you said, thankful that the keys were still in your fucking pocket, despite the dip in the ocean. 

 “I’ll get them,” Conrad said happily, striding forward and all but grabbing the keys from your hands without asking. You stutter immediately, like an engine stopping and starting, from just how startled you are at his host-like behaviour. 

 “You don’t have—,” you start. 

 “Shut up!” he yells slightly, as he whisks past you to the door, throwing his clean clothes on his bed and ducking out of the room. You’re amazed, letting out a scoff as he starts on the stairs. 

 “Conrad Fisher!” you yell. 

 “You’re welcome!” he yells, and then he’s gone; out the front door and into the boot of your airport rental car with a huge fuck off smile on his smug face. 

 The Conrad Fisher here is so different to the one you saw five years ago. It wasn’t his fault—Susannah had just died, his father was being a dick at the funeral, and the obvious rough patch occurring between him, Belly and Jeremiah was palpable.

 You’d wanted to ask him what had happened back then, what was going on, but when you’d tried it had all blown up in your face. 

 The fight you had that night with Conrad hadn’t been your finest moment; nor his. It was lethal, it was personal and rude, it was heart breaking to hear from another room, let alone be part of the screaming match. 

 When you’d travelled back home to the UK after the fight, you and Conrad didn’t call each other for three years. No birthday messages, no FaceTimes, no talk of you ever returning to the Cousins house. 

 You’d dived into your studies, the same as him. Jere and Belly moved in together in New York, leaving Conrad alone in Boston, since he moved to an online degree. Shayla mostly travelled out to see Steven in NY, instead of the other way round. Conrad was alone; without his mother; without his brother; without his friends. 

 Without you.

 Which is what prompted him to call you one night, after one too many drinks. 

 The shrill ringtone of your phone erupted just after 8am in the morning. You stirred in your bed, stretching, and wondering who the hell was calling this early on a Sunday. When you finally reached over and grabbed your phone, seeing Conrad’s name made your heart stop. 

 You sat up immediately, suddenly wide awake. You let the phone ring for a few more seconds, until you finally picked it up. You raised it to your ear. 

 “Conrad?” you said hesitantly. You could hear him breathing on the other end of the line immediately. 

 “You’re still alive, then,” he replied, not even trying to hide a certain distain within his tone. You ignored his words, knowing that his walls were all the way up. 

 When Conrad Fisher felt vulnerable, he was a fucking asshole. 

 “What time is it there?” you asked, counting on your fingers the time difference. “Three o’clock in the morning?” you chided. 

 “Five past the hour, actually,” he responded. “The night got away from me again,” he trails off. You stayed silent on the line, listening to each other’s beathing, wondering what to fucking say, wondering if you should speak first. 

 You could imagine him well. Sat at home in Boston, one lamp on in the living room, shirt unbuttoned haphazardly and sweat dotted on his brow from drunkness. There’s an almost empty bottle of white wine in his hand; he’s swilling the contents and wondering if he should drink while you’re on the line. 

 He chose not to. 

 “Why are you calling me?” you finally ask, whispering. A frown makes its way onto your face. 

 Conrad breathes out heavily. “Do I need a reason to call a good friend?” 

 You immediately know he’s lying, trying to manipulate you into apologising for the fight three years ago. You swallow back your nerves. 

 “You and I both know that’s not true, Conrad,” you replied. “We haven’t talked in three years,” 

 “Who’s counting anyway?” he scoffs, and it’s laced with something painful that hits you through the phone. 

 “I am,” you replied sternly, closing your eyes suddenly to calm yourself down. “If you really want to talk to me, then don’t be drunk next time you fucking call, Conrad,”

 “Okay,” he replied immediately, before hanging up without so much as a goodbye. 

 You wondered if your words had even been heard by him, if he even wanted to call you in the first place, or was just driven to by the drink. 

 Your question is answered when he calls back in the evening. You pick up on the second ring. 

 “Not drunk,” is the first thing he said, and this time you could feel his smile down the phone. Conrad was always overly good at not being embarrassed by himself. 

 “You listened,” you replied, leaning against your kitchen counter. 

 “I did,” his voice is softer this time, like he’s not trying to force himself to be heard. He knows you’re listening, he knows you’re there. “I’m sorry. For everything. For the fight after Mom’s funeral,”

 The breath hitched in your throat then, replaced with a bubbling sadness and happiness all rolled into one. Three fucking years of no contact and one of you finally pulled the plug and just apologised. 

 Well... he’d been worse. He’d been viler than you. You deserved his apology. 

 “I miss you,” he added suddenly, and all you could do was whack a hand over your mouth. Tears began forming behind your eyes, and you knew you wouldn’t be able to keep them at bay for long. 

 You took in a shaky breath. “I miss you too, Connie. So fucking much,” 

 “I’m so fucking sorry—,”

 “So am I, God—so am I,” you’re both wailing now, apologising over each other’s apology, both trying to hold back tears. You talked for hours. You spoke about life, about Jeremiah and Belly, Steven, whoever else was relevant to you both. 

 When you finally hung up, you burst into tears. There was nothing more you wanted to do than jump on a plane to Boston and go and see him, but that was impossible. 

 “Babe?” a voice pierced through the walls of your college house, hitting your ears and immediately making you jump. “Are you coming to bed?” 

 Your boyfriend, at that time. 

 You squeezed your phone uncomfortably. 

 “Gimme a second!” you called up to him. Before going to him, you opened your phone and sent a text to Conrad. 

 See you next Summer.

 You never made it the next summer. Circumstances had got in the way. You were apologetic on the phone with Conrad, but you knew he was hurting. His voice had gone blunt, cutting off his emotions before they could actually make him feel anything. 

 So now, standing in his room, sopping wet, as he lugged your bags up the stairs with bare feet and a bare chest and the biggest fucking smile you’d ever seen donned on his face—

 You couldn’t believe it. 

 “Is this really all you brought?” Conrad said jokingly, reappearing and dropping your two bags onto his bed. “You know you’re here for two months right?”

 “I’m perfectly happy to live in my bathing suit, okay?” you quipped. “Also—the washing machine is a thing that people use. You know? The white circular things where you can wash laundry?”

 Conrad leaned down and grabbed his clothes, bumping you playfully on his way back up to standing. 

 “Nice to know that your humour hasn’t changed,” he said.

 “Nice to know that your attitude is still very much present,” you smiled at him with a hint of patronisation. Conrad let out a singular scoff, before smiling at you so softly that you almost didn’t know how to react. It’d been so long since you’d seen his face, let alone this up close. 

 Beneath all those wasted years and the obvious muscle and stubble that he’d grown into, sixteen-year-old Conrad was still there somewhere. The sweet boy that still had married parents, that still had a mother, that hadn’t lost Isabel Conklin. 

 Maybe this Conrad was better. Maybe this Conrad was who he was because of all those struggles. We were all human—flawed, fixed, ever-growing. 

 “You take my shower, I’ll use the main bathroom,” he spoke finally. You would have fought back against his hostess mentality once more, had you not been so utterly fixated on the gentle way his lips were curled into a smile, just for you. 

 “Sure,” you forced yourself to snap out of it. The two of you parted ways; Conrad shut the door behind him as he left; and you were alone. 

 Despite the happiness from the reunion, you couldn’t shake a horrid feeling that these days were numbered. Connie’s moods were ever-changing, and you hadn’t even had the chance to properly talk yet. 

 Would this all go away, as fast as it arrived once more?

 Around the dinner table, just the five kids, a subject crops up that leaves you fucking speechless. Steven makes a joke—

 “Belly didn’t even know what kissing was until we were thirteen,” he quipped. Belly kicks him beneath the table while Jeremiah bursts into laughter. 

 “Hey,” she protests. “At least I didn’t lose my virginity on the beach. Think of all the fucking sand,” a round of whoa’s goes around the table, while you focus on not snorting pomegranate margarita out of your nose. 

 “Steven?” you manage to say. “Sex on the fucking beach?” it’s impossible to hold in your giddiness. For the first time in Cousins, you’re all actively talking like normal adults. Adults who drink, adults who have sex. 

 “It was all Shayla’s idea,” Steven said, ducking his reddening cheeks down towards his plate. 

 “And now she’s got you whipped,” Conrad chimed in, making Steven throw his napkin at him harshly across the table. Conrad grabbed it before it could properly hit him, holding it in his hand and sending a smug smile around the room. 

 “You’re just jealous,” Steven began, and the room descended into a tense silence immediately. “While the three of us were shacking up with people that summer, you were out every goddamn night, fucking who knows who,” 

 Your face drops, but the knowing looks on Jere and Belly’s faces show you that it’s no longer personal. It’s funny though—seeing the cogs in Conrad’s brain whirr and buzz and try to pick out the most perfect comeback to Steven.

 Your stomach lurches before he can speak; forcing yourself to speak before Conrad even replies. 

 “Are you against sexual freedom, Steven?” you chided, sending him a squinted smile. 

 “Yeah, are you, Steven?” Conrad chimed in opposite you, immediately joining in with you. 

 “Because there is absolutely nothing wrong with sleeping around, as long as you’re being safe and it’s consensual,” you added. 

 “What she said, yeah,” Conrad said, louder this time, more enthusiastic. 

 “Are you slut-shaming Conrad, Steven?”

 “Are you?” 

 “Because if Conrad wants to be a slut, let him be a slut—,”

 “Let me be a slut, Steven!” Conrad stood suddenly, yelling across the table while bursts of laugher pounce out of everyone’s mouths. Steven raises his hands in mock defeat, giggles on his lips. 

 “Fine, fine, fine—Conrad,” he said, turning to his friend and reaching out his hand across the table. “You can be whatever you want, man. You can be a slut,” 

 “Thank you,” Conrad lets out, clutching onto Steven’s hand over-dramatically as he sits back down.

 “You did get around Cousins that year though, Connie,” Jeremiah chimed in, starting to count the number of girls on his fingers. Conrad took a massive sip of margarita. 

 “Yeah, well—I was seventeen and a dick,” he admitted. “Maybe I’m still a dick now, but at least I take accountability, right?” after finishing his sentence, he looked right at you. It was clear as day the message he was trying to get across; the apology two years ago; the keenness to be a brilliant hostess to you now. 

 You sort of wished he’d just act normally, without all the formalities of putting on a show of good behaviour for you. 

 You smiled back at him, sipping your drink with raised eyebrows and trying not to overthink this entire return to Cousins. 

 “What about you?” Conrad perked up. “What were you like at seventeen?” 

 “Me?” you said, ignoring the growing brain freeze from drinking your margarita too fast. You put down your glass and let out a scoff. “Oh—massive slut. I was a whore, for sure,” 

 The sound of their laughter is enough to fill you with warmth for days in a row. The five of you get drunk and sit on the beach until the early hours of the morning, just like when you were teenagers. So much time has passed—

 But for the first time ever, it feels like things can go back to normal again. 

 “Right!” Belly exclaims a few days later. You’re in the kitchen with Conrad, fighting over the good muffins from the bakery. When you stop, he pulls the last blueberry one from your grasp. You elbow him in the ribs abruptly, smiling at Belly as he yelps behind you. “It’s your dress fitting today,” she says, whisking herself over to you at the island. 

 “Oh God, okay,” you let out nervously, wiping your crumb coated hands down your cargo shorts. “Am I good to go like this?” you ask. Your hair is curly from the salt water, your face bare of any make-up. 

 “Going to a dress fitting looking like a dried piece of seaweed sounds entertaining,” Conrad chimes in, gently taking a few long curls of your hair into his palm. He fiddles his fingers through them, detangling them as you focus on not reacting. “Can I come?”

 “Absolutely not—,” you start.

 “Of course!” Belly yells. She frowns at you playfully after realising your response. “Oh, come on, having Connie there will make it more fun,” 

 “How on Earth will Conrad being present, while a dress is being draped over my dried piece of seaweed body, be better?”  you ask, and he gently tugs one of your pieces of hair. You turn round to look at him face on, right as he takes a bite from the blueberry muffin.

 “Objective third party?” he mutters, smug smile on his punchable face. 

 You forgot how upper-class Cousins is. It’s an entirely different world from England, with its white picket fences and suburban streets. The shops are all independently owned and adorable; as well as being expensive as hell. Walking around the small town reminds you of Susannah—a shopping bag on her arm, spring in her step, smile on her face. 

 Cousins was Susannah through and through. 

 “This is where I came to get my deb ball dress with Susannah and Mom, the summer I turned sixteen,” Belly explains, opening the door to the small boutique. 

 “The summer where Conrad discovered sex, I see,” you reply, walking through the door. Conrad scoffs behind you, trying and failing to trip you up with his flip flop wearing feet. You snap at him, smacking him once on the shoulder. All it does is make him laugh harder. 

 Belly’s expression is one that you can’t pinpoint. It’s somewhere between happiness and confusion. The way she looks at Conrad is quizzical, as if she can’t understand his playful behaviour; but she’s also ecstatic about it. It’s written all over her face. 

 “Stop acting like children,” she tries to say it sternly, but it doesn’t work.

“Hey—we’re older than you, remember that,” Conrad says playfully, leaning his chin down on your shoulder. 

“It’s useless fighting back,” you let out, bonking your head onto Conrad’s and leaning into his chest. “Belly’s getting married and we’re both single, remember that?”

“I try not to,” he replies, and with that Belly huffs disapprovingly. “Maybe we shouldn’t have brought him along,” she lets out. 

 “I told you—,” you start, but are cut off by a formal—

 “Miss Conklin?” 

 And so, it began.

 With the help of an assistant, you’re whisked into the changing room to try on the dress immediately. Conrad and Belly are outside, sipping on champagne and waiting anxiously to see whether it works or not, but you’re too caught up in slipping it over your head to even realise what you look like; until the assistant quirkily says—

 “Well, we hardly need to tailor it, actually!” 

 You look into the mirror and freeze. Belly picked out the bridesmaid’s dresses herself, and the one that she settled upon was gorgeous. A sage green, silk two piece; long flowing skirt with a slit by the right thigh; flowing, spaghetti strap top that’s slightly cropped—enough to show off just a hint of your midriff. 

 You feel like a princess instantly. It’s not every day that you see yourself in a bridesmaid dress for one of your closest friends’ wedding day. 

 The assistant makes some minor changes. She tugs the waistband of the skirt and clips it back, just so it fits you perfectly. The hem needs to be shortened slightly, since no set length was chosen for the skirt before the fitting. After the adjustments, you simply look at yourself in the mirror for a few seconds more. 

 Then, you face them. 

 Leaving the dressing room, your heart is pounding. You’ve clumsily tied back your sea salt curls and you almost feel silly, but it’s all worth it when Belly’s face lights up at your reveal. 

 “Oh,” she lets out, long and full of warmth. “It’s perfect,” she stands suddenly, whisking herself over to you as you stand on a small podium and can see the whole of your body in a large mirror. “You’re perfect,” 

 You let out a scoff. “Don’t say ridiculous things,” 

 “Conrad!” Belly yells, and the man himself rounds the corner slowly, after getting bored and shuffling through the dresses in the lobby to amuse himself. He’s got half a fancy macaroon in his mouth and his hair is tussled when he lunges himself around the side of a wardrobe. 

 That’s when he freezes as well, skimming his eyes over your reflection in the mirror. His gaze meets your face, looking up to the reflection of your eyes. He swallows the damn macaroon, keeping up his blank and serious looking expression. 

 “Beautiful,” is all he says. 

 He gulps afterwards. You see his Adam’s apple bob in his throat. 

 You send him a small smile. “Thank you,” you whisper. That’s when you look towards Belly—her eyes are secretly on Conrad, examining his expression. She’s got this sly smile on her face and this gleam in her eyes that makes you nervous. When she finally looks back at you, she raises her brows presumptuously. 

 You frown immediately, shooting your gaze back to yourself in the mirror, heart racing within your ribcage. “Are we done now?” you ask. You try not to sound so harsh, but it comes out sternly. Conrad’s face ducks to the ground in your peripheral vision. He coughs to himself.

 “We could get some ice cream after this? I said I’d meet Jere at the club a bit later,” Belly suggests. Conrad’s eyes shoot up to meet yourself once more, but suddenly you feel too exposed. You feel viewed upon. 

 The way he’s looking at you makes you feel... nervous. It scares you. 

 “I... sort of want to go back to the house,” you let out. “I’m suddenly really tired,” you add a chuckle to try and lighten the mood. 

 “I’ll drop you at the club, Belly,” Conrad chimes in, keeping his expression blank as he takes in your reflection once more. “Then, I’ll take you home, okay?”

 You nod once, before disappearing back into the changing rooms. 

 The drive back to the house is awkward, to say the least. After dropping Belly at the country club, it’s just you and Conrad in the car together. You don’t understand why the dynamic shifted back in the boutique, but it really got under your skin. 

 Belly’s knowing face as if she was hopeful about something. Conrad’s seriousness when he called you beautiful. It was all... too surreal. 

 You suddenly became all too aware that these were people who knew you so well—probably better than you knew yourself. These were people you’d grown up with, people you’d fought with, cried with, been at your fucking worst with. 

 And that one word from Conrad—beautiful—said in such an un-Conradian way had staked you through the fucking heart. And Belly’s look afterwards, that glint in her eye and her thoughts filling with endless possibilities...

 Was... was Belly wanting to set you guys up?

 “The dress fitting was successful, then,” Conrad spoke over the silence, forcing you away from your thoughts. You looked out the passenger seat window, not wanting to look at him just yet. 

 “Sure was,” you said bluntly. 

 “The green made you look more like a dried piece of seaweed, though,” he added, and you knew he was smiling; you could feel it on the back of your neck. 

 You hummed once, allowing yourself a small, breathy laugh. “Funny,”

 Conrad’s silence burns a hole in your heart. You can practically hear the thoughts bombarding his skull. He taps the steering wheel anxiously. “Have I... done something to upset you?” he asks hesitantly.

 You close your eyes immediately, sighing painfully to yourself. “No,” you say honestly, before finally turning to him. “No, of course not,” you say, stronger this time. “Sorry—I think I’m just... tired and overwhelmed,”

 “About what?” he chides. You let out a scoff. 

 “I don’t even know,” you whisper, before perking up and gently smacking your hand down on his thigh. “It’s nothing, really. Just ignore me. I’m being stupid,” you swipe your thumb over his skin once, reassuringly, caringly, before removing your hand from his leg. 

 Conrad smiles smally at the wheel, taking your apology silently. You scatter your eyes across his side profile, looking for any signs of a different emotion; any hurt, any pain; anything else you need to apologise for after all this time. 

 Instead, you remember Belly’s utter confusion at seeing him act so playful.

 “Hey, so tell me this—why do I get the sense that Belly and the others are shocked every time you so much as smile?” 

 He lets out a large sigh, tapping on the wheel once more. You hope you haven’t crossed a line, you hope you haven’t brought up something that he didn’t want to. Conrad was a private person with most. He chose the people he cared for and was affectionate with carefully. He didn’t often show his true colours. 

 But the Conrad you’d grown up with had always smiled. He’d always laughed. Even now, you could so vividly remember the way he taught Belly to dance in the living room or indulged Steven with playing his favourite video games. 

 “I guess... because they’re exactly that,” he finally says. “Shocked, surprised, confused. Hell, even I’ve caught myself this week wondering the same fucking thing,” 

 “Are you okay?” you ask on instinct, as the tension in the care descends upon you two within seconds. 

 “Mostly,” he says, smiling a little. “I don’t need to tell you why the past eight years have, well, kind of sucked. Jere and Belly and the others, I guess they all dealt with it differently, you know?” you nod at his words, showing him that you’re there, that you’re present. “They also had each other a lot more than me during that time. I, uh, well—I isolated myself a lot. Distanced myself from them after knowing about Mom’s cancer. Screwed things up with Jere and Belly for a while,” he lets out a sad, breathy chuckle. 

 “I’m so sorry, Conrad,” you let out. You don’t say it sadly, you say it in a way that gets across all you want him to know; you’re here, you understand, he can confide in you again. 

 “The past few years have been better, for sure, don’t get me wrong,” he perks up suddenly. “I don’t think Jere and I have ever been this close, and we’re all together again for their special day,”

 “Reunited and it feels so good,” you offer, leaning back in your seat and smiling at him. 

 “Exactly,” he agrees, before turning the car into the beach house driveway. Conrad cuts the engine after parking, but it’s clear that neither of you are ready to get out of the car just yet. 

 You settle back, listening to his breathing until you’re unconsciously copying his pulse. He lets out an abrupt chuckle then, leaning back in his seat and shoving his hand over his mouth to stop more from falling out. You look at him quizzically. 

 “What?” you chide. 

 “It’s just that, well,” he began, shuffling himself in the seat until he’s looking at you head on. “They’re all fucking astounded that I’m acting this way after so long, but I’m not,”

 You squint at him. “Why?” 

 “Because you’re back,” he lets out, without any signs of hesitation. “It’s like, as soon as you walked onto the beach and yelled my name, the years fell away,” 

 He put it so well. It made your heart hurt, but in a good way. You couldn’t stop yourself from smiling right at his pretty boy face. A comment brews in your mind. 

 “I always knew I was your favourite,” you say jokingly. 

 Jokingly. Why does the line between ‘joke’ and ‘flirt’ feel thinner this year?

 Conrad lets out a glorious laugh, filling the car and your chest. “My favourite? No way,” 

 “Okay, asshole,” you respond, smacking him once to get across your offense. “Who’s got the top spot?’

 “Laurel,”

 Well, you can’t argue with that. 

 You open your mouth to protest, but you end up nodding in agreement instead. “Okay, yeah. I’ll except that,”

 “She’s kind of hot,” Conrad lets out. 

 “Connie,” you say lowly, but he doesn’t hear you because he’s laughing his fucking head off. He’s clutching the wheel with white knuckles and his laughter is so strong that it’s almost silent. He’s just forcing out air through his lungs with an energetic face and no fucking noise, until he sucks in too big of a breath and a snort erupts from his nose. 

 That’s when you come undone. You lose it alongside him, clutching your belly so tightly; you could have formed abs from laughing that fucking hard. 

 “You don’t see it?” he continues. 

 “Of course, I see it,” you let out. “But it goes unsaid. Laurel being a M.I.L.F goes un-fucking-said,” 

 The two of you stay in the car so long that the porch lights come on eventually. Steven passes the front door to head upstairs, but stops when he sees Conrad’s headlights still on. He peers his head out of the front door window.  

 In the windshield of Conrad’s car, he sees the two of you—laughing, crying, bobbing your shoulders up and down so much. 

 He can’t help but smile.

 Somewhere deep down, he prays that Conrad is back for good. 

Tag list: @cjansw234 @browneyes-issac​

[idontwanttospoiltheparty]

I, for one, would love it if you expanded on your thoughts about Paul's grief. Although I do understand why it might feel too invasive

So it's basically two parts, and the main reason I find it a tad invasive is just how much it feels like poking around someone's deepest wounds – but all of this is very much coming from a place of empathy, I'm just overthinking it a bit.

The first part is I think these deaths can't be easily compared, in terms of how they affected Paul, because their circumstances differed so much. On the one hand, I think asking which one hurt more is akin to asking someone if they'd prefer being surprise attacked when walking into an ostensibly nice place or being told well in advance they would be attacked, sparing no gory details. On the other, the absence of someone as supportive as Linda (who wasn't also going through grief, like their kids) in the first years following her death should be taken into account when comparing the two situations. And the differences continue: Linda and Paul had been married nearly three decades, while John and Paul had been estranged for a while, though possibly slowly mending their relationship; Paul was at Linda's side when she died, while he was an ocean away and fast asleep during John's last moments; Linda herself had time to prepare for it, while John did not; Linda's passing was ultimately no one in particular's fault, while the guy who killed John is still serving a prison sentence, incapable of giving a reason why beyond "I wanted to be the guy who did this"; while Linda was definitely too young when she left, John could barely even be considered having reached middle-age. And it goes on and on and on.

My point here is essentially that these two losses were completely different in so many ways, so I think it makes perfect sense that Paul did not react to them similarly necessarily and I think it's frankly unkind when people make crude comparisons and draw the most gossipy and bad-faith conclusions (ranging from "Paul never loved Linda like he loved John" all the way to "Paul only talks about John for clout") because he reacted differently.

The second part is I find it interesting how Paul, in recent years, shies away talking too much about Linda, which seems to be due to the fact that he's happily married again; conversely, he still speaks of John a lot to this day. A part of this is 100% due to the fact that John generates a lot more interest than Linda does and, as we know, Paul is always keen to please, but then I'd also consider the fact that Paul has openly said he has never truly sought to replace John, whereas he is, as a matter of fact, re-married.

This isn't in any way to say that "Linda=replaceable, John=irreplaceable", rather, I find it interesting to think about the fact that the role Linda fulfilled in Paul's life – his spouse – has a designated title, is a concept we bother giving a name to, whereas whatever he had with John appears to remain undefinable and perhaps precisely because it's undefinable inimitable. Clearly, some elements of his relationship to John were toxic, but there's also, it seems, a bond there he misses every goddamn day, and while I'm sure he misses Linda as a person every goddamn day as well, he was in fact able to find someone who could take on her part.

And I'm not sure if that's a good or a bad thing, but I think there's a lot to think about there. What it means for someone in your life who you've now lost to have this societally-recognized role, vs. someone to be Something to you that we haven't yet bothered to label.

[woniehugs]

boyfriend! enhypen reaction to you calling them pretty (3/7)

═ ∘♡༉∘ ═

↳ ੈ‧₊˚ ┊͙park jongseong *ੈ✩‧₊˚

✰ “i remember when i brought you here to confess... i was a nervous wreck and you were just staring at me, my god.”

✰ you giggled at jay, flashbacks from that day were still clear as day at the back of your mind. how could you forget? that was indeed the blossoming of a relationship that is still continuing to grow ‘til present.

✰ the beautiful view of the ocean in front of you matched the loving energy that you and your boyfriend radiated. there was so much love between the two of you that even the large waves of water celebrated your strong bond.

✰ as the sand sunk while you walked over to jay, you took his hand in yours which made the other’s eyes widen at your action, confused at the sudden contact. “w-what are you doing?”

✰ “holding your hand, what do you think?” your lips curled up into a mischievous grin, eyes locked to the alluring scenery before you. “i can’t believe you thought i didn’t feel the same way when i deadass admitted to everyone that i thought you were the cutest guy in the whole grade.”

✰ jay laughed at that, rubbing his neck with his free hand, “well i was just scared of getting rejected, okay? i thought that was just a joke, you were laughing the whole time you said that!”

✰ “and my friends were teasing me a lot! that already gave it away, i was convinced you would’ve already known at that point.” you mused, “but i guess i was wrong, you really are blind.”

✰ not being able to process what happened next, jay crouched down and splashed a large amount of water on you from his own hands, his laughter and your scream the only sounds audible.

✰ “you asshole! come back here!” you ran after him as he continued laughing, he was far away from your grasp as you stopped running to take a breather, looking up at jay who was still running in the water, determined to get away from your evil tactics.

✰ you felt your heart skip a beat when he looked back at you, flashing his signature smile which emits so much charisma, leaving you melting from it. it was one of the qualities you loved so much about him.

✰ the sun setting behind him didn’t help much to what you were feeling, you were so awestruck that you thought you were looking at a portrait painted by the gods above.

✰ “YOU’RE SO GODDAMN PRETTY, WHAT THE HELL?!” you shouted all of a sudden, gasping in shock when you realize how loud you were and proceeded to cover your mouth, embarrassed at your abruptness.

✰ but your boyfriend heard it all.

✰ with his eyes staring deeply into yours despite the large distance, you captured the way his smile grew into a grin making you die inside a little bit or a lot, the words that came out of his mouth loud enough for you to hear.

✰ “oh i know, but we both know who’s the prettiest out of the two of us, darling.” he winked at you.

✰ yep, you definitely died after that.

═ ∘♡༉∘ ═

[tranakin-skywalker]

When we were made we were set apart But life is a test and I get bad marks Now some saint got the job of writing down my sins The storm is coming, the storm is coming in

And

How am I ever gonna know peace? How will I ever see the light through the trees? I want to burn down everything we've begun I want to kill and eat my young Because I'm on my way to hell (Well, I've tried, God knows that I've tried) I'm on my way to hell (One time, two time, three time again)

And

How does everything start and end? Come gather now and lay this beast to rest I kept hearing trumpets, got my hearing checked Your father spoke a prophecy To think that I believed is self-centered of me There was something that I was trying to say But then I choked on it and now it’s getting kinda late

And

Yeah, you were right about me But can I get myself out from underneath This guilt that will crush me? And in the choir I saw our sad Messiah He was bored and tired of my laments Said, "I died for you one time, but never again"

And

Throw me that lifeline, The ship of fools I'm on will sink My own stone around my neck Be my breath, there's nothing I wouldn't give Never hit the brakes There's no time to save him He's run out in the street Anybody know his name? I think I recognize him Sure it's him? Running from that mistake

And

I'd drown all these crying babies If I knew that their mothers wouldn't cry I'd hold them down and I'd squeeze real soft To let a piece of myself die It's hard to be the better man When you forget you're trying It's hard to be the better man

And

My heart is glowing flourescent, I want you to possess it I'm not a prophecy come true I've just been goddamn mean to you So what is this thing laced with Please don't replace me I surrender, embrace me Whatever I'm faced with

And

Once said, always said. I will hold the past over your head. I'll speak my mind whenever i feel slighted. I am hellbent on extracting all of my revenge. So take heart, sweetheart, or I will take it from you. We slip concealed back to the keep. Concede to do the work for free. We prey as wolves among the sheep and slit the neck of soldiers while they sleep.

And

And you've got your kind of brand new face on Where all the skin's pulled thin and taut And every kid you see starts crying So you stop going out for walks Well, I guess nothing can be perfect So here's a comforting thought At the bottom of the ocean Fish won't judge you by your faults

And

I'm hoping that in time, you can lay down All this weight you've been carrying around and maybe one day You'll find your way To climb on up out of your grave With the bits of you you managed to save And for the last time Yeah, you say good-bye

Literally every Brand New song is about Anakin Skywalker.

Degausser? Anakin

Noro? Anakin

Sink? Anakin

Mene? Anakin

Can't Get It Out? Also Anakin