#if anything im having a bit of fun deciding the extent of his markings. and vibrance of colors

[creatures-and-doodles]

having a varghest oc is awesome until the moment i have to paint him 😔

[alfredolover119]

I looooove your zukka rec lists! I recently became Avatar-obsessed, never got a chance to watch it as a kid and only just got through it all! I was wondering if you'd consider doing a specifically angst rec list? I love fluffy zukka everything, but sometimes you just gotta have your heart ripped out of your chest and put back in after being thoroughly blended.

thank you! i relate heavily to “recently became Avatar-obsessed” haha. as for the angst list, i sure can try! warning: all of these have happy endings because im a crybaby who can’t read unhappy endings. also, p much all of the fics in the completed section were featured on my other lists but this is specifically the ANGSTY ones >:^)

angsty zukka wips

first, most obviously, feels like we only go backwards by @oldpotatoe

-currently at 102k with 19/27 chapters posted; rated teen

-the amnesia fic. the amnesia fic. the amnesia fic. you know. i haven’t actually read it yet because, as previously mentioned, i’m a crybaby and am waiting for it to finish up but, from my understanding, this fic will murder you in a dark alleyway with no remorse. if u like zukka angst, you’ve probably already read this, but just in case!

An injury leaves Sokka with amnesia. His last memory is of the failed invasion, of leaving his father behind in enemy territory on the Day of Black Sun. Of hopelessness. Rage. // But then he wakes up, and the war is over. Suddenly, he must come to terms with the fact that years have passed, and that he's somehow the Southern Water Tribe Ambassador to the Fire Nation. He is also supposedly friends with banished-Prince-turned-Fire-Lord Zuko, of all people. Close friends.

Yeah, nah.

and i’ll do anything you say (if you say it with your hands) by @goldrushzukka

-currently 38k with 6/8 chapters posted; rated mature

-holy shit. holy SHIT. modern au based on the “my cat likes my fuckbuddy and i am falling in love” trope(?). maybe it’s just because of how the last chapter ended, but oh my god. this one made me cry. made me want to commit violence. when it’s not angsty as hell, it’s pretty funny, but holy shit. ao3 user nebulastucky please.

It’s supposed to be a one night stand. Pick up some guy at a bar, barely remember his name and never learn anything real about him, send him packing in the morning with a thanks for the ride and a cup of coffee to-go. That’s how it’s supposed to go. // But then it’s the best sex Sokka has ever had, and he thinks he’ll hate himself if he never gets to have it again.

Violet Blossoms and Celestial Objects by @hollypunkers

-currently 15k with 2/? posted. rated teen.

-this is the sequel to blue (an angsty, zukka rewrite of book 2-- go read it if u havent!)! !! this is a book 3 rewrite. only two chapters in and mrs hollypunkers is really abusing the miscommunication tag, as zukka writers seem to enjoy doing. im excited to see how the world and story develops with the changes to the story! you should be too!! its very good! obviously spoilers for blue lmao

Having sided with the Avatar in Ba Sing Se, Zuko not only must navigate his new relationship with Sokka but returning to the Fire Nation as a banished enemy. His own journey of self discovery and personal growth must now coexist alongside the personal struggles of every other member of the Gaang as together they blaze a treacherous path toward an unsure victory against Zuko's own father and nation.

breakable heaven by @fruitysokka

-currently 71k with 9/11 chapters posted. rated teen

-swt ambassador zuko! soon to be chief sokka! fake dating ur best friend to get out of an arranged marriage! what could go wrong!!! i also haven’t read this one ((see: i’m a crybaby who is being hurt by too many zukka wips already)), but it has been hanging out in my marked for later for months. from what i understand, this fic has: angst.

With his twenty-first birthday looming just around the corner, the Southern Water Tribe Elders have decided that Sokka, next in line to be Chief, needs to get married. Sokka does not want that, but he does need to get them off his back until he can figure his way out of it. What better way to do that than to pretend to date his best friend (and newly minted Ambassador to the Southern Water Tribe) Zuko? // Seriously, this is a foolproof plan. Maybe one of Sokka's best. Absolutely nothing can go wrong.

angsty zukka fics (completed!)

(i’ll put these in wc order)

lighthouse beam by @incorrectzukka

-7k, rated g

-a modern college au!! zuko’s inner-monologue is very angsty in this fic. typical zuko. also per usual, theyre both fucking dorks. they sort themselves out in the end, but not before The Angst. zuko is semi-deaf in this fic and also he has a bit of internalized homophobia.

Sokka’s breathtakingly beautiful and he’s smart and makes other people laugh. Zuko has a half-burnt face and a deaf ear. It’s not rocket science. // Or, Zuko falls in love with the boy in his Philosophy class.

This Isn’t My Idea of Fun by @khaleeseas

-9k, explicit

-moon spirit/nwt prince!sokka, no war to be found here! admittedly this isnt THAT angsty but like. the angst IS present. zuko is still the prince. a lovely childhood friends (though they hated each other for a minute haha) to lovers story. 

If you asked Zuko, he and Azula saw far too much of Chief Hakoda of the Northern Water Tribe’s children growing up. It wasn’t until they were older, and Azula pointed out that - duh - their families were trying to set them all up, that he realized why. // He was told by his mother to be polite. These people were their friends and allies, and though their nations were as different as they came, harmony between nations was the most important thing. // It wasn’t his fault the Chief’s children were so annoying.

put your lips close to mine (as long as they don’t touch) by @celestialceci

-9k, teen

-modern au! zuko and sokka are college roommates. zuko goes to spend the summer with sokka. again,, not really that angsty but-- its there!! the detail and feeling of Home in this story make me happy. zuko is insecure as hell here too. if ur into that. 

Zuko hates his home. He likes college alright, but he likes Sokka even better, his assigned roommate turned best friend. Spending the summer with Sokka will be fun, a welcome change of pace he desperately wants. It probably won't awaken anything in him... right?

the thing about dancing by anodymalion

-9k, teen

-yes. this one right here officer. it makes my heart ache. also trans sokka! which is cool. but the zuko angst in this one. hurts me. not so much relationship angst as it is zuko learning he deserves happiness angst. i’m sure u know The Type.

The first time a attendant spills Zuko’s tea and doesn’t immediately fall to her knees, begging the Fire Lord’s forgiveness, it is not anger but a resounding warmth that fills his chest.

i could (never) give you peace by @zukkababey

-10k, mature

-OUCH. OUCH OUCH OUCH. boys please learn to communicate im begging u. also zuko.. zuko, dude. as the tags of the fic say, hes “really going through it” in this one. YOUCH. post-canon.

Zuko almost said it. He almost said the words I think I’m in love with you, but he choked them back down at the last second. // Zuko would never be able to be what Sokka wanted. They might have needed each other during the summer, when two boys with too much weight on their shoulders found comfort in each other in the only way they knew how. // But now Zuko was Fire Lord, and Sokka was leaving.

this love burns so yellow (becoming orange and in its time, exploding) by @meliebee 

-18k, teen, major character death 

-i lied. THIS is the one, officer. found family.. good mai and zuko and toph friendships.. . ozai escapes prison and tries to overthrow zuko. OBVIOUSLY angst ensues. poor boy. he Does heal in this but it gets worse before it gets better. angst angst angst angst.

Ten months after Zuko is crowned at seventeen, he faces his first coup.

Anything for You by beersforqueers

-23k, explicit

-istg. this is probably one of my favorite zukka fics. its PAINFUL. modern au where theyre broken up but sokka hasnt told his family yet so zuko goes home with him for kataang wedding. a bit smutty, but the plot oh my god ohgm y fuvk. made me cry the first time i read it. (see: crybaby!me) insert that one picture of the horse with the caption PAIN. 

In which Sokka and Zuko have broken up but Sokka hasn't told his family yet. So when Katara and Aang's wedding weekend rolls around and he doesn't want to break Gran-Gran's heart, he asks Zuko to pretend to be his boyfriend for one last weekend. // Things don't go as planned.

Moving Mountains by @thefangirlingdead

-64k, mature

-so. when i read this the first time it was in one sitting. soulmate au set within canon era / the comics, to an extent. soulmates can hear each others thoughts. i will happily say this is slowburn, jesus christ. champagne without the cham. 

Soulmates are chosen by the spirits and can hear each other’s thoughts. Sokka thinks it’s cheesy and dumb. Zuko thinks it’s poetic justice that he doesn’t have one because he doesn’t deserve it. Cruel irony is finding out that the prince of the Fire Nation (and the person currently hunting you) is your soulmate.

In the Soft Light by @voidcenturyscholar and @romancedawning

-83k, teen, graphic depictions of violence

-moon spirit!sokka living in the northern water tribe. zuko is sent to the northern water tribe as a cultural liaison. iroh is the fire lord but while he is away taking care of lu ten after his injury ozai steps up. i cannot express how many emotions this fic made me feel. background yuetara. i would almost say found family?? but. anyway. plenty of angst to spare here with a healthy dose of enemies to friends to lovers.

As the newly appointed cultural liaison to Northern Water Tribe, Zuko is the first Fire Nation Citizen to step foot inside the city's walls in nearly a century. He's determined to prove himself—to the Fire Lord and to his father—even if the Water Tribe's spirit-touched prince seems to want nothing to do with him.

That Midnight Sky by @zukkababey

-103k, teen

-now now now. tms... modern college au where sokka agrees to tutor zuko in physics because zuko has to maintain straight a’s and physics is just not doing it for him. so. thats cool but THEN azula moves in, randomly, with zuko. to hide the fact that sokka is tutoring zuko, they fake date! what could go wrong!! the mutual pining in here combined with the angst... wonderful, tasty. everyone read it rn. also SLOWBURN 

In Zuko’s strict family, needing a tutor is just about the worst thing you could do. Failing a class, however, is even worse. The only rational solution? Take up Aang on his offer to find him a physics tutor and have Sokka—beautiful, smart, handsome Sokka—tutor him in secret. // When Azula’s arrival threatens to reveal Zuko’s secret, it’s up to Sokka to convince her this definitely isn’t what it looks like. See, he’s actually… Zuko’s… boyfriend? // Hmm. There’s no way this could get complicated, right?

[tastyykpop]

nct dating headcannons!

I only did 127 because there's so many but ill do the others if anyone requests it :)

ɴᴄᴛ ʙғ ʜᴇᴀᴅᴄᴀɴᴏɴ

Taeil

Mr. Moon Taeil is the definition of a cuddly boyfriend

Hes always holding your hand or kissing your cheek

Definitely gets shy when the members are around but in public youre all his

Hes super sincere about anything too but also knows how to joke around

I mean have you seen him with nct

Hes funny❗❗

Like he's gonna make you laugh no matter what

And those deep convos yall would have at night while cuddling>>>

"What if we were put on earth by aliens as an experiment to see if we would live and everytime we see ufos its just our cousins checking up on us"

Eyes wide open, "bro"

Taeils either the big or small spoon too

There's no in between

Also the biggest baby when yall are chilling

"I call small spoon!"

"But you were the small spoon last night"

"K and what about it"

10/10 would complain if you didn't want to sit with him and watch a movie or show

Would probably guilt trip you by saying you never watch something with him

Hes a sweet manipulator...

But he could easily replace you with one of the members

Like sicheng

Taeil will always ask if you've eaten

If you haven't eaten he gets big sad

Don't make him sad

Plus hes always checking on your health

And he'll know if your lying if you say you're doing fine when you're not

Also don't lie in general cuz he doesn't like that

That would make him trust you a bit less and he definitely wants trust in the relationship

Trust is a huge key or hes out

Johnny

This man 🥲

Boyfriend Material™

So gentle and loving

Loves making you feel special and will hype the shit out of you when you don't feel confident doing something

Will always make sure you're doing okay

Johnny puts in so much effort to make this relationship work and expects you to put the same amount of effort into it too

Like taeil, hes really big on trust

Add honesty to that list

Plus he expects you to be mature when needed

If you're the type of person who depends on someone else for everything and I'm mean everything he will actually leave

Hes not your babysitter❤

But he will take care of you to some extent

Like basic things for instance

He'll make you food if you're sick, get you water if your dehydrated, will get your feminine products when you need it

Very sweet😌

Okay and he spoils you but wbk

"Why are you getting me so much things?"

"Because I love you."

"But why did you get me a kitten costume???"

He has some kinks to work out 😐

Johnny will go to shop after shop even if you say you don't want something (you do but you just don't want him to pay) he'll get it without batting an eye

"Youve been staring at these shoes for 5 minutes imma buy them for you"

"Huh? No! I-"

"Too late"

will take you out to dinner all the time just to be romantic

Hes actually really good at romantic stuff

I say Johnny you say whipped

Johnny👀

Whipped😫

His free time is always you time

So don't bother saying your busy cuz now hes busy with you

"Johnny i got a test coming up can you come later? I need to study

"Thats cute im coming over to help"

Taeyong

Judging taeyong on his looks, some say he would be cold to his girlfriend

Like a tsundere

But the man is quite the opposite

Though he can be stern if need be

He has 22 children what do you expect

Will literally treat you like his members and always taking care of you

But there will be times when you have to take care of him because hes so tired from work

He turns into a baby when he's tired or lazy too

So wrap him in a burrito blanket and hes all set for the day

Makes weird noises but thats normal

You're just watching tv and hes just making some old video game sounds with his mouth

No one questions it

If he didnt make sounds you'd probably question it

Talks in pout if he doesn't get his way with you

"Why don't you wanna play games with me~"

"Bruh I'm tired"

Or just gives you those big puppy eyes without even trying

Complete other person when you're not listening

He just kinda stares at you all intimidating like until you listen

Taeyong won't do anything too bad if you kept ignoring him, but you don't know that

Omg bro he'd literally bring you on vlive with him to chat

Even if the company is like '???Shes not an idol???'

But its taeyong so SM doesn't care🧍‍♂️

"We have special guest again! Its y/n-ah!!"

You'd be just chilling on his bed giving him a wtf look until you realize there's a camera and smile

"Shes cute. Isn't she cute guys?"

Don't try to escape the vlive, he'll just get up and sit you on his lap

Makes everyone watching jelly🥲

Bro he would make fun of you the same way he makes fun of doyoung

you'd be sitting with doyoung or sumn and taeyong just comes up to the both of you and decides

'Its time to end these two'

You and doyoung are just like 'tf did we do'

Somehow some other members are making fun of yall

Of course they aren't mean

Its all fun and games and gives you a good laugh after

Doyoung

Hes literally a mom

But its ok

You love it

Sometimes

He also nags a lot

And if you don't listen he gets mad

You wouldn't tell him this but you find it funny

And cute🤐

"Youre almost as bad as dream" 

"what are u talking about im an angel"

"Kay then put the knife down we kinda need haechan to live"

Hes beaten you with a pillow once

In front of taeyong

Taeyong was watching like 👁👄👁

I dont think he cares much for pda tbh

But he doesn't hate it

He'll hug you a lot

And doyoung will probably kiss you here and there

But thats depending on his mood

If he's tired he'd probably just hold you in his arms

Either way he still makes you smile even with the smallest of touches

When you guys go out in public doyoung always holds your hand

I mean always

Remember when I said he doesn't seem like the type to be into pda

I lied

Doyoung wants everyone to know youre his

He won't kiss you but he will pull you into random hugs and hold your hand like he's gonna lose you any second

Doyoung also can't go anywhere without dressing his best

Like even if he's just practicing he's gotta look cute

And he always does because he's fucking kim doyoung

Doyoung also has a habit to make up names for you

Like one day he'll call you babe/baby

The next day could be angel or princess

Then there's you who just calls him bunny because he hates (loves) it

Expect some random gifts from him

Cuz like Johnny, he likes to spoil you

he just loves the smile thats plastered on your face

Pinches your cheeks evey time you smile too

When you guys are just chilling in the dorms you are always doing something to make doyoung get "angry"

"Angry" doyoung is a fun doyoung

Says you and taeyong 🤭

Literally will chase you around the dorm until he gets you and "scolds you"

Hell also scold taeyong

Sometimes you prank him with the other members

*cough*haechan*cough*

But doyoung knows youre just being playful

So he kinda laughs at you

Yuta

Hes a devil

Wbk

He can go from calling you the cutest lil thang to saying the most inappropriate stuff

"U have such a pretty mouth" 

"no stop" 

"how about u use it on my-"

"OUT DEMON"

Besides that he's actually very nice

Although he doesn't really show his affection like how most couples would

At first hes kinda like a "cold boyfriend" but not?

Gives off a tsundere kinda vibe

He lives for pda

Especially if you initiate it

His favorite is kissing your neck

Not in a sexual way or trying to give you hickeys tho

He just comes over and kisses it

Probably has a neck kink 😳

Same 😌

When you guys are out in public his arm is always around your waist or shoulders

He gets easily jealous when you give anyone any attention

Especially if you have a pet

He will be pouty for God knows how long until you notice

"I'll make it up to you"

"ok then prove it *pats his lap*"

"...I can and will replace you with this animal"

Will not let a dude flirt with you

If he sees a dude flirt with you he just gives them ㄒ卄乇 ㄥㄖㄖҜ

Lowkey hot

But sometimes gives you that look if u aren't listening to him

Its an advantage

Freaks you out tho

When your sitting on the couch minding your own damn business yuta always pulls you onto his lap or sits you between his legs

He really likes to be close to you

So when you guys are sitting he keeps his head on your shoulder and his arms wrapped around you gently rocking you both

Omg im making myself feel single

If you are sad yuta will always be the first person you lean on

Even if its not serious

"Who do I need to fuck up?"

"Im literally just on my period..."

The members sometimes tease him because they'd never seen him so in love

He looks at you like ur his everything

Because you are

He'll tell you that too

If you say something bad about urself he gives you a whole ass lecture about how u should love yourself the way he loves you

He'd be talking for 25 minutes but you stopped listening 30 minutes ago

Literally scolds you for not listening

Loves how well you get along with the members

But also hates how well you get along with specific members because of how similar you are with them

What I'm trying to say is that you are a bit too similar to mark🚶‍♂️

Jaehyun

Frat boy boyfriend

Lowkey wants to fuck everyday

Idk he gives off that vibe

But jaehyuns just chill half the time

Hes like an American boyfriend like bitch you're Korean 👁👄👁

Hes super cuddly and warm

Thats weird wait

Like when you're cold just snuggle into him because body heat <3

Always loosely has his arms around your waist when just laying down

Whole different story if you're sitting on his lap and just standing around

Back hugs😫😫

Dead ass the first thing he does if he sees you is give you a back hug

It works for a lot of things

Surprise? Back hug

You're cooking? Back hug

Horny? Back hug

Solves his life problems basically

Hes a freak omg

Very flirtatious too

Hes just that bitch

Either he makes you blush or roll your eyes

"Y/n you're ass is fat"

Def an ass guy😑

Hes the type of guy to put his hands in your jeans back pocket

Wait no im feeling jaehyun too much rn

BUT MY POINT STILL STANDS

Or when yall hug his hand doesn't rest on your back but your ass

If you're wearing some shorts or something that makes your but pop

Hes gonna smack it and pretend like nothing happened

Yo someone pls save me im in my jae feels

Nah I've been talking about his ass kink for too long

Ummmm

Okay for real though jaes actually really nice and kind of careless when it comes to you

Fuck everyone else, if you've fallen and scraped your knee hes gonna be that soccer mom and rip a band aid out of nowhere

But if one of his members scraped their knee he'd just look the other way and smile like nothing happened

Earlier I said he was chill but hes also loud too

You walk into the dorms and the first thing you hear is "Y/N!!" Wyd?

You swear he doesn't realize how loud he is half the time because of that deep voice

This bitch always makes sure youre healthy and tries to take you to the gym with him

It dont work cuz this bitch just stares at your ass

Nah I need to do the next member

Jungwoo

hes literally the cutest especially around you

When he greets you its basically a whole ass bear hug

Whole lots a kissing

Literally doesn't care where you guys are

He will kiss you anywhere

Loves to kiss your forehead because he doesn't have to bend down as much🤭

doesnt care if the members are there

Nobody ever questions it either

"youre my baby right?"

"jungwoo-"

"riGhT?"

"Yes...."

He does aegyo if he doesn't get his way

It works every time don't lie

Will probably sit on your lap for some reason

Hes not light

But if you can do it so can he

you guys never get into fights

Even if you do its never anything serious

"you fucking pushed me so u could win"

"false I accidentally bumped my arm into urs"

"whats accidental is the murder im going to commit"

"what?"

"What?"

Smh young love

Going shopping with jungwoo is like shopping with a kid

Will beg for any food he lays his eyes on

"Omg can we get cookies?🥺"

"only if your paying"

“*gently places cookie dough back* lmao cookies? Never heard of her"

No matter how tired the boy is he will always find time for you

Hell take you too your favorite restaurants and even if you insist on paying he wont let you

If you don't marry him I will

When you guys are walking in public he will always be holding your hand

Says its because he doesn't want you to get lost

But you know damn well its actually him who doesn't want to get lost😳

Jk you just know he wants to be close to you

If you make any suggestive joke he always knows how to counterpart it

Leaving you speechless like the members

When you guys are going to bed he has his arms wrapped around your waist

first thing jungwoo does before sleeping is giving you a kiss

Doesn't care if your asleep or awake

Then a quiet 𝐼 𝑙𝑜𝑣𝑒 𝑦𝑜𝑢

Mark

i dont even know how to explain this relationship bruh

like its mark lee its gonna be a weird time

ok so marks actually hella nice

kinda bro or dude zones you but you do it back

theres a bunch of yo’s too

as someone who says yo a lot im happy i can relate to him

“yo youre doing that wrong though”

“dude im literally reading the directions, it said 3 cups of water”

“bro it says 3/4 oh my god”

yall cant cook 

taeyong wont even allow even you to help him cook

anyway marks special

but seriously marks actually a very gentle person with you

like legit is super nice to you even if you sometimes piss him off

marks probablys only been mad at you once then was like ‘its okay’

go to his practices cuz he loves that shit

he really likes when you are social with the members too

cuz then you guys are all friends and he can just bring you to places with them :D

this kid will literally not to pda in front of any member so you have to basically force him to just hug you

johnnys always making fun of you two and mark panics everytime while youre just like ‘yeah what about it’

compliment mark and hes blushing and squealing like an anime girl

inch resting concept 

“mark you look cute today”

“o-oh um..yeah thanks”

and this man can take compliments but with you its a whole new story

aight lemme get serious

marks mad sensitive 

so dont actually purposely make him mad, jealous, or upset

it would crush him

and he doesnt want someone like that in a relationship

cuz if he doesnt purposely do it to you, dont do it to him

take notes 

Haechan

hes a brat bye

would actually fight you just to get his way

makes fun of you on a regular

thinks hes cute 

hes not wrong

but actually he knows how to act mature when he needs to

like if youre genuinly getting upset with him, he will straighten up and quicky apologize, even give you a phat kiss and hug

might take you to get ice cream after if he really upset you

he can be nice

nah jk hes very nice and is a really energetic boyfriend

haechan always wants to do something with you liek go to the amusement park, go out to eat, or go shopping

sometimes makes everything seem like a hassle to leave and go somewhere with you cuz hes either lazy or playing video games

“cant you just go by yourself?”

“but what if i get lost”

“the ice cream place is literally five miles away”

“actually its seven so im gonna get lost”

hed groan the whole time just to be annoying but you dont care cuz you got your ice cream

if you go to any concert or practice, haechan always has to make things more sexy than they should be

like ‘fool’ became hella sexual and for what

its probably one of his favorites to make you blush

he loves your reactions

keeps him alive

hyucks always got something to say even at the most awful times

youre literally choking on water and he goes “ill give you something to choke on later”

and you have to cancel your dying session to smack his head

my guy has no filter

and he wont even hide that around the members

theres always that smirk on his cute ass face if he succeeds too

i have the sudden urge to fight him

[vs-redemption]

Aaa im so sorry for bothering you! Can uou do my request from before (homeless kid) but now with hawks, shigaraki, and fatgum please? Im so sorry if its any trouble but your writing isFANTASTIC!!!!!!!!!

A/N: Phew! Sorry for the wait, but I wanted to make sure I gave you something I was proud of. And don’t worry! You aren’t bothering me. I was actually kind of wishing you’d included Hawks in the first request, and Shigaraki was a fun challenge to write! I really hope these meet your expectations.

A Surprise Meeting (Hawks, Fat Gum, and Shigaraki meet their abused child)

Warning:⚠️Mentions of child abuse and homelessness.⚠️

You can read the same scenario but with Bakugo, Iida, and Aizawa HERE You can read the same scenario but with Todoroki and Dabi HERE

Hawks

Hawks knew his patience would be put to the test whenever the Hero Commission called him in for a face-to-face meeting. He’d opened up his agency as far away from the head office as possible for the sole purpose of avoiding their overbearing attempts to control not only his career, but his personal life as well. He appreciated everything the Commission had done for him to an extent. After all, he never would’ve ended up as such a successful hero if they hadn’t taken him in as a child and given him intensive training to perfect his quirk. There were a lot of things he’d hated about living under the Commission’s thumb though. Because of that, he really hated whenever he had to go back there.

“Thanks for coming today, Hawks.” The president of the organization herself had come to greet him. He gave her a roguish grin despite the fact he wanted to role his eyes. He hated when they thanked him for obeying when it wasn’t like he had a choice anyway. “There’s someone we’d like you to meet.”

Hawks followed the president as she led him deeper into the facility than he’d been in a long time. His wings twitched behind him as unpleasant memories began to surface in his mind. He felt confused and uncomfortable when he was brought into a small observation room that had a view of one of the commission’s training spaces behind a large two way mirror. “Are you going to explain what this is all about?” Hawks jokes to try and ease his own tension, “Or are you keeping me in suspense on purpose?”

“I was going to ask you the same thing,” The president’s face remains stoic as she turns away and speaks into an intercom. “Bring her in.” Hawks looks into the training room on the other side of the glass and sees a random agent of the commission step through the door with a tiny little girl following closely behind. She looked to be around two years old. Hawks’ jaw drops in disbelief when he sees the two fluffy wings sprouting from the child’s back. He’d seen other people with wing quirks before, but this kid’s resemblance to him was uncanny. Her hair was darker than his, but the black markings around her golden eyes had his mind reeling.

“Of course we did a DNA test,” the president says flatly. “She’s definitely your child.”

Hawks steps away from the glass and runs a hand over his face, letting the information sink in. The commission had so much influence over his personal life that he’d mostly stayed away from any sort of relationship, knowing that there’d be too much drama over maintaining his image and reputation for him to actually enjoy having that kind of connection with someone. Admittedly, he had bent his own rules and caved into pressure once or twice after graduating the commission’s program. He wasn’t proud of it, but he’d mostly done it out of spite for all the years he’d spent being micromanaged.

“A woman dropped her off a few days ago,” the president’s voice turns sharp. “How could you let this happen?” Hawks wasn’t interested in a lecture at the moment, so he ignores the question in favor of moving closer to the glass and looking at his daughter more intently. She was cleaned up and wearing a standard uniform provided by the commission, but Hawks didn’t miss the painful looking scratches on her face or the raggedy, burned up ends of the feathers on her wings.

“What happened to her?” he asks, surprising even himself at the low tone of his voice.

“The mother admitted to doing most of it,” the president rattles off the information in a clinically detached way. “They’d also been living out on the street for a while as well, so who knows what might’ve happened.” The news was heartbreaking for Hawks. He hadn’t lived in ideal circumstances at that age either, and he wouldn’t wish that sort of life on anyone.

“Your wings didn’t start to grow back until you were a bit older, so we’re assuming it’ll be the same for her,” the president seemed oblivious to the emotional state of the hero standing next to her. “We’ve already started her on a special diet though, and she’ll begin her training regimen at the beginning of next week.”

Hawks wasn’t sure if it was some bird trait related to his quirk or just the knowledge that he was the kid’s father, but some sort of instinct kicked in with such intensity that it washed away any feelings of duty or habits of obedience that had been programmed into his brain.

“You’re not keeping her,” he says fiercely. The president just raises her eyebrows at him.

“The mother left her in our custody,” she states. “You should be thankful that we’re willing to overlook your mistake. With any luck, we’ll be able to groom this girl into a hero just as spectacular as you.”

“If you don’t release her to me, it’ll be you that’s made a mistake,” there was a promise of something terrifying in Hawks’ tone that seemed to finally shake the president’s resolve.

“You really think you’ll be able to be a decent parent?” she asks coldly.

“I won’t let her be robbed of a childhood like I was,” Hawks declares firmly. “If she wants to be a hero, she can make that decision when she’s old enough to do so.” Thankfully, the president decided not to argue any more. Hawks turns back to the window and allows himself to relax a bit. Looking over his daughter again, his heart filled with a love so strong it threatened to overwhelm him. He made a vow to love and protect his little girl so that she had the safest and happiest life possible.

Fat Gum

There was nothing quite like the feeling of walking around the lively streets of Osaka at night. People of all walks of life tended to come out around this time, and the delicious smell of cooking food filled the air. Taishiro Toyomitsu, better known as Fat Gum, could think of no better city to do his hero patrols. The crime rate was a little higher than in other places, but it was worth it for him to have easy access to the yakitori, yakisoba, and okonomiyaki stands that kept his quirk plenty fueled up.

Tonight he was in high spirits as he walked down one of the more famous shopping streets, stuffing his face with incredible snacks, and having friendly encounters with both locals and tourists alike. A couple of young musicians were playing on one of the street corners, so he tossed a few coins into their cup. Everything seemed to be fine basically, other than a few people who’d stumbled out of bars and needed help getting to a taxi. It was one of his more tame patrols, but he wasn’t going to complain about that.

He noticed that he was being followed near the end of the night, when most of the shops and restaurants were starting to close up. The busy streets began to empty as people hurried to catch the last few trains, and only when there were just a handful of people left out sweeping the sidewalks did the figure emerge from the shadows. Fat Gum was surprised to find that his pursuer was a young boy around nine years old with strange, aquamarine colored hair.

“Hey there, kiddo!” he kept a huge grin on his face but still kept his guard up just in case. “Can I help you with anything?” The kid looked to be in pretty rough shape as he gazed up at the BMI hero who towered over him. Fat Gum didn’t like the poor condition of the boy’s clothes, or that he appeared extremely dirty. The most concerning thing of all was how emaciated the boy looked. He could practically see the bones in his arms, and his cheeks were sunken with hunger. He wondered when the poor thing had last eaten a proper meal.

“I’m sorry to bother you,” the kid finally speaks up after a moment. Fat Gum finally noticed that the boy had started shaking like a leaf. He wasn’t sure if the boy was just cold, or if he was actually afraid. He watched as the kid reached into his back pocket and pulled out a tattered old photograph. “By any chance, do you know this woman?” The boy flinches away while holding out the paper for Fat Gum to see.

“I’m not gonna hurt ya, buddy!” the large hero says while taking the photo as non-aggressively as possible. “Let’s just take a quick look at this and… oh.” He recognized the woman staring back at him from the picture. He hadn’t seen her in almost a decade. He’d lost contact with her once she’d broken his heart after a short romantic affair. “Uh,” Fat Gum felt a little awkward, “Is this your mom?” The boy nods his head while keeping his eyes closed. “Then,” Fat Gum chuckles nervously, “am I your dad?”

“Yeah,” the boy mumbles before letting a few tears slip out, “I’m sorry.”

“Sorry?” the need to be a hero for this boy was stronger than his discomfort with the situation. “If anyone should be sorry, it’s me. How could I have not known about this until now?”

“Mom wouldn’t let me tell you,” his voice cracks with emotion. “She said you’d be mad.”

“Well, that’s just silly!” Fat Gum shakes his head in disbelief. “Where is your ma’ now?” The boy finally glances up and meets his eyes. They were the same shape and color as his own.

“She got arrested yesterday,” he admits, sounding embarrassed. “Another hero caught her pickpocketing. She sometimes asked me to help her, but I haven’t been feeling well lately. We don’t have a place to stay either, so we had to find a way to get food.”

Fat Gum hated the thought of that woman not only keeping the existence of his son a secret, but also forcing a young boy to break the law. Perhaps that was why the boy looked so scared. He probably thought he was going to get in trouble too. Fat Gum had other ideas though.

“I’m really sorry that happened to your mom,” he says sincerely, “but she will have to pay for the crimes she committed.”

“I know,” the boy looks back down at his feet.

“But there’s no reason you have to follow in her footsteps,” Fat Gum says cheerfully. “I’m more than willing to take you under my wing. That is, if you don’t mind.” The boy finally allows a tentative smile to grow on his face. He clearly liked the idea.

“Well then, first I think we should get you to a doctor,” Fat Gum reaches down and gently pats the boy’s head. This time, he doesn’t flinch away. “And after that, I’ll make sure you get a decent hot meal! No kid of mine is going to look like skin and bones.” The boy eagerly agrees and allows Fat Gum to scoop him up into his arms. He had a feeling it was going to be a dream come true to finally have the fun and affectionate father he’d always imagined.

Shigaraki

People were always going on and on about how hard public servants worked and how important their jobs were. Heroes, police officers, firefighters, health workers… sure, they all had hefty responsibilities, but nobody ever considered the absolute nightmare it was being the leader of the League of Villains. Shigaraki wanted to see someone else try to manage the group of ragtag, lawless, misfits that he’d been left in charge of. It’d be one thing if they were all there to support him and his diabolical plans, but unfortunately a good number of his followers were just hanging around in the hopes of an opportunity to continue the work of the Hero Killer, Stain.

Stain had always been a sore spot with Shigaraki, ever sense the man had shown up at his hideout just to criticize him for not having a clear goal. He’d never admit it out loud, but the jerk might have had a point. At first, he’d just wanted to kill All Might, but that was only because it was what his master, All For One, had wanted. After All For One had been arrested, Shigaraki was sort of left without a guiding hand or a clear path to follow. He still wanted to kill All Might. And he wanted that annoying Midoriya kid dead too. When he really thought about it, Shigaraki just kind of wanted everyone to be dead.

The door to the villain’s hideout clicked open suddenly, making everyone in the bar turn to see who’d arrived. It was just Dabi, trailing in the scent of burnt corpses. Shigaraki clenched his teeth and sighs in annoyance. That ugly fire user was supposed to be out recruiting people to the League, but all he ever did was incinerate any potential members he came across.

“I didn’t know we were running a daycare service now,” Dabi comments lazily while grabbing a stool at the bar and signaling Kurogiri for a drink.

“What are you talking about?” Shigaraki felt the prickling urge to scratch at the flaking skin on his neck, but managed to control himself. Dabi was always trying to get a rise out of him and the worst thing he could do was take the bait.

“Some crusty looking rugrat is hanging around outside,” Dabi shrugs. “You might want to do something about that.” Shigaraki wasn’t sure if the annoying man was messing with him or not, but he sent Twice to check it out just in case. The last thing they needed was a lost child attracting the attention of any heroes. A few minutes later, Twice returned with what looked like a four year old boy trying to claw his way out of his captor’s arms.

“Put me down!” The kid protests before opening his mouth and biting down on Twice’s fingers. The villain drops the kid who lands with a thud on the floor.

“There really was a kid out there!” Twice gestures to the boy dramatically, “He’s completely rabid though! It’s the cutest thing I’ve ever seen!”

“You picked the wrong place to run away to,” Shigaraki walks up to the boy feeling irritated. “You should’ve stayed with your mommy and daddy.” The boy glares up at him from the ground and Shigaraki gets a big shock. Aside from the hair color, it was like looking into a mirror. The boy had the same piercing red eyes as him. The skin around those familiar eyes was dry and irritated, just like his own too.

“You ARE my daddy!” The kid blurts out and the atmosphere in the bar gets extremely uncomfortable. Of course, the silence is broken by a snort from Dabi.

“Oh man,” he shakes his head. “I can’t believe someone actually had the stomach to sleep with you.”

“Shut up, Dabi!” Shigaraki tries to swallow down the panic and horror bubbling up inside him, but the persistent itch on his neck seemed to double in intensity over this unexpected news. He gives in, reaching up to scratch at the damaged pale skin below his ear. It had been All For One’s idea for him to have an ‘experience’ with a lady. He’d said it was an important part of becoming an adult, but now Shigaraki could only see it as a huge mistake. A voice drifted through his mind, telling him that it would only take five fingers to make this whole problem go away.

“Where’s your mommy?” Toga skips over happily, unable to resist inserting herself into the situation.

“I don’t know,” the boy was putting on a brave face, but it was clear that he was afraid. “We had to leave our house and sleep outside. Mommy said it was because my dad was a villain, but then she was gone when I woke up.”

The story struck a chord in Shigaraki. He’d been left abandoned without a home as well at a very young age. The last thing he wanted to do was sympathize with the brat though. What he wanted was for the kid to disappear. The idea of a guy like him being a parent was laughable. He was barely an adult himself, and he had enough on his plate right now. A small child was only going to be a burden. His fingers twitched, ready to activate his quick as he continues to look down at the helpless boy at his feet. The conflicting feelings inside him were making the itching flare up terribly. Every inch of skin on Shigaraki’s body felt like it was on fire now.

“You’re just like everyone else, aren’t you?” the boy suddenly slumps forward, the fight going out of him. “You hate me.”

A weird resolve washes over Shigaraki at those words. No. He wasn’t like everyone else. If there was one thing all the member of the League of Villains had in common, it was that they’d all been rejected by friends, family, and even heroes for traits they had little or no control over. This boy was just as much a victim of this crooked society as the rest of them.

“You’re forbidden from ever leaving this building,” Shigaraki states flatly. “And don’t expect anyone here to coddle you or clean up after you. The moment you become a nuisance you’re back out on the street.” The boy nods in understanding while finally pushing himself off the ground. Shigaraki wasn’t sure what he’d just signed up for. The only thing he knew for sure was that his job had just gotten a lot more complicated.

[shaechans]

boyfriend! yuta

the boy: nct’s nakamoto yuta

type: headcanon + timestamp

word count: 861

a/n: woohoo my first request!! honestly, i was really dried out of my brain when i was writing this so i really apologize if it’s too plain or not what you expected:( but i tried to write my best!! also, the grammatical errors IM SO SORRY

nakamoto yuta sigh

seriously though to have a boyfriend like him is so ~dreamy~

like he’s so SO soft with you like???? can i please have that treatment as well???:(((

definitely treats you like how he’s around mark oMG

despite seeming all cold and intimidating at first glance, he had THE SWEETEST smile and you were like yes i do

i envision him as one of those boyfriends that wANTS and HAS to be there for every relationship milestone

like you got promoted? kisses and cuddles and champagne!! you cooked without burning the kitchen? celebrates with takeout cause you did burn the food, yay!!!

just likes celebrating, celebrating with you that it;) I MEANT IN YOUR COMPANY NASTIES

will do ANYTHING and EVERYTHING for you

you can just “yuta i’m col-” bell rings, he’s got all the members blankets and hot packs and you’re cuddling what?

oh the way he looks at you:(((((((((((

literally soSO much love like he’s gonna forget how you look if he bLinks

skinship!!!!11!!! is his type of love showing(??) like has to be touching or holding you somehow

however his favouritest thing is flirting with you and embArRASSING you in the MIDDEL OF TE STORE LIKE SIR??????

would purposely stretch so his shirt rides up a bit or just pda pda so you’re all like //o//

unLESs you pull an uno reverse at him then he’s all (づ￣ ³￣)づ so yeah there’s no winning with skinship

PLEASE HE’S SO ANNOYING IN THE BEST WAY

just loves to see you irritated and will even trigger you with the smallest things

butbUT would launch at anyone who comes after you, he’s just protective like that

but would NEVER intentionally hurt like it WOUDL KILL him to see you suffering

also hiding stuff from him omg he’s gonna hurt

he just wants to be there for you always so just please share everything with him:”)

never EVER forgets of even hesitates to compliment you

your personal hypeman and will do anything in his power to see you at your happiest and would even go to the extent of giving you your space which is so haRD for him to do so you’re all like OMG I LVOE UOU

please!! appreciate!! him!!! back!!!!!!!

literally all it needs to get him beaming is smiling at him but seriously he might explode in tears if you surprise him like he would seriously melt

“y/n- i’m just so- voice crack why must you hurt me like this- tHANK YOU BABY” yes, yes you’re welcome for the ice cream you asked for

just just please appreciate his presence and love him as MUCH as he loves you just PLEASE thank you

[ 1:23 pm ] you honestly didn’t expect to sleep off at the 127 dorm. well if you did, you would’ve carried an extra set of night clothes to sleep in. however, yuta made sure to take care of that by stepping in with his various articles of hoodies! and baggy t shirts!!! plus it’s not like you could say nO to a clothing article that smells exactly like yuta??? yes please give it.

promising yourself and yuta (and the boys) that you would be out early the next day you were fine going to sleep in the comfort of yutas' arms. well that was before your tired body decided to wake up after noon sigh. you were a little embarrassed to face the boys, feeling like an intruder but yuta thought otherwise.

“good morning sleepyhead!” he exclaimed excitedly, rushing to your place on his bed, placing happy kisses on your forehead and cheeks. he smiled hearing your giggles before leaning back, arms still around you.

“why didn’t you wake me up when you did?” you pouted, playing with the hem of his very comfy white t shirt, pulling at yuta’s heartstrings unintentionally. “well i didn’t cause you needed the sleep baby. do you even know how exhausted you were last night!? i was so worried” he replied with a hint of worry in his voice as he fixed your hair gently.

you sighed standing up from your place, pulling the love struck boy along with you, before thinking once again: what are the boys gonna think. you stopped abruptly, yuta hitting your back softly.

“what’s wrong?” he asked, eyebrows furrowed. “uh a-are the boys okay with me here?” you cursed slightly at stuttering, knowing how it’s gonna burden yuta with you not feeling comfortable.

“why? are you scared or uncomfortable because i’ll talk to them if you want me to-” “no no baby it’s okay! i was just, i felt like i was interrupting, coming and spending the night uninvited.” yuta squished your cheeks, your lips forming a small pout (yuta chuckling at the sight cause surprise surprise you're adorable). 

“are you kidding me?” he started, stroking your cheek softly, “the boys ADORE you. they are always talking about how fun and blah blah you are. they shouldn’t cause i'm supposed to do that" he muttered halfway through causing you to laugh softly "but i can’t stop them cause it’s all true.” he rambled on finishing a small peck on your lips.

you smiled, nodding before following him out of the room, to all the boys screaming a good morning to you and taeil giving you a plate of slightly burned toast with an innocent grin. maybe you just needed to listen and trust yuta, like always uwu.

this is so LONG IM SORRY i got a little carried away but eh it’s cute and i love yuta soososo much so it was just the yutazen in me that popped out woo. anyway i hope you like it and thanks so much for requesting.

[ratplagues]

🔥 any dishonored thing of ur choosing -deathoftheoutsider

wah okay!! i will talk a bit about the outsider and void then..i dont really wanna frame it as a Hot Take bc i have no interest in starting shit or whatever like ill interact with whatever i want to in this fandom and ignore the rest and everyone else is free to do the same but.

I do not think The Outsider is a “character” in the conventional sense, much less that it does his character or the allegory he wields any justice to be shipped with anyone in the series (at least without seriously considering the implications and framing it in a way that completes the allegory. more on this later)

the outsider and his void are an allegory for Otherness; i’m namely gonna frame it as queerness and neurodiversity, but really anything could fit as long as it’s about you feeling seen as a marginalized and othered person. he is written to represent this allegory, not to be a person with a satisfying narrative arc or dimensions. this is why some people feel that he lacks depth-- he’s not supposed to have depth compared to others in the series, he’s mostly a vehicle for what he represents, and is supposed to be easy to identify with or recognize.

he was born to a life of hardship, suffered at the hands of the rich and powerful, was ignored, cast out, etc. etc. a familiar story. poor, queer, nd, really whatever you wanna frame it as. he was a nobody outcast. in comes the envisioned, they pick him to serve as their martyr and idol without his permission. he then had his name cut away and forgotten, and was thrust onto a pedestal to spend the rest of eternity being worshipped by other outcasts who had suffered at the same hands he had. he has something greatly in common with those who worship him, including the very people who stripped his mortality from him in the first place, but because of this shared hardship (and nothing else), his own autonomous personhood was disregarded completely in favor of The Community needing someone Just Like Them to idolize. if this sounds familiar, that’s because it should!!

his humanity was taken from him, and in his place, an idol was created. his human body is frozen in stone in the center of the void-- retired. out of commission. no longer needed. he was immortalized, transcended. this is traditionally desired, although dishonored is trying to convince you that it is not actually desirable. in the age of internet content creation, you can be immortalized without even being present, without knowing about it. you become what you can do for other people, and what you cannot. people fall in love with an idea of you, the idea of you being like them, and other people come to hate you deeply without even knowing you. people came to hate the outsider more deeply than he ever had been when he was human-- he wasn’t seen when he was human. a pedestal only helps you to be seen. the outsider had the choice made for him to achieve immortality in exchange for the simple joys of being un-known.

he spends all of doto trying to convey this idea to billie through the hollows:

"There is freedom in being hated. There is license in being cast out. Some learn this lesson a little too well."  "These people lay their thoughts, their petty wants, their murderous desires in front of me to witness. I cannot turn away." "We carry what was done to us through the rest of our endless days. No one asked if we wanted it." (i like this one. he speaks for the community-- this is a shared experience, one everyone can recognize. however, as a Queer Figure, he never asked for this. he never asked to be immortalized. i like the double meaning here)

not to mention, the entire extent of the outsider’s Sole ability and influence on the real world is to “choose” people and give them untold power over others. this is a fun ironic twist on what marginalized groups endure from powerful people, (dishonored is largely about power imbalances and socioeconomic hierarchies) but it’s also fun to think about in the context of the role model/fan framing-- so many worshippers give their lives to be “chosen” by him. it’s easily framed as an exaggeration of otherwise very real power imbalances and often the flagrant breaching of boundaries existing between creators and fans.

and on the subject of the VOID...ohht he void.....

the void should be a haven for queer folks. for nd folks. it’s wanted by so many to be a safe space, it should be, it’s the Other World! it’s renounced by the abbey, crusaded against, even. but it isn’t. it’s just this limitless, eons-old horizon that hungers and starves for something to fill it. if the outsider is the lament of queer idolatry, the void is the lament of queer Hunger. it is roaming, and restless. it does not belong to the outsider; the outsider cannot survive without it. it’s the desire to belong, not a place of belonging.

the void craves this idol, this outsider-- i, for one, have often experienced hunger for a truly moral and just role model, someone to make the world Right, and i know this is another shared feeling. those who worship the outsider, who drive themselves mad trying to see him or be chosen by him, are suffering from this idol hunger. you see this in a lot of queer and nd kids and young adults. i grew up just having my life and interests like, punctuated by different fixations on different people that i didn’t know at all, only fell in love with the idea of. it happens a lot.

there’s a couple more doto quotes that really highlight this for me:

"They carve my mark into the old bones bleached by the sun. They carve my mark into their skin. They learn true hunger in the Void." "All these charms, these runes and fetid offerings on shrines made for me, will be nothing more than objects worn of meaning. Bones and dead things, thrown into the dirt."

“They learn true hunger in the Void.” is something that i wanna touch on real quick. people can spend their lives obsessing over the idea of what they think the void will cure for them, will fix in their lives, only to find out that it’s just a hollow manifestation of the emptiness they’ve felt all their lives. it’s not the needs met, but the need itself. you have to make the home, it doesn’t already exist and you can’t fucking run to it. it is heartbreaking, frustrating, one of the bleakest messages i’ve ever encountered in a game, but i’ve never felt more seen. by submitting to these ideas, the idea of a perfect unhuman human and the idea of a perfect otherworldly home, you are surrendering your humanity. you’re not only being transformed by the powers gained (if they are gained), you’re essentially dissolving with hunger after never having these needs met. you see so many people in these games whittling themselves down to nothing but base need. empty apartments occupied only by shrines, sometimes containing their corpses. journals of people dedicating their lives to the worship of the outsider, always ending darkly.  "I will find this empty place. Somehow the key to open the Void will fall into my hands. In time, I will learn the secret and he will call to me as he called to her."

not to mention The New Envisioned-- prolonged exposure to the void will always, without fail, turn a human into silver void stone. these creatures can no longer interact with or acknowledge the mortal world. they have surrendered themselves to hunger, and cannot be saved. this is celebrated by the cult, honored by them, even. i honestly like....i pity them, and i hate them, and i recognize that i’ve been those people, lmao. when i was at my worst as a teenager, i wasnt so much a person as i was just a shell full of hunger and heartbreak. my personality was defined by who i was a fan of. i think i definitely was Less Human then. the cult of the outsider is a universal experience!!

dishonored, at its core, is a celebration of humanity. it asks you to celebrate human emotion and weakness despite greed and bigotry. the powers are not to be wanted, they are to be ignored, refused. it is human to hunger, but it is Queer and Divergent to make hunger your life’s meaning, to need to learn the secret, find the key, be chosen and loved and cherished, to be made whole by some perfect thing. to find your humanity in something un-human. dishonored sees all that, mourns it with you, and then asks you to find humanity in each other !! love the spine of your lover, the blood draining down the docks, the pause to stretch languidly in the sun of a work day.

and finally...on the topic of outsider shipping....i dont think that, in his god form, it does him much justice to be shipped with anyone. he’s not much of a person, just a projection of his former self and a vehicle for his allegory as discussed-- im sure he could be shipped like this, but it just isn’t satisfying to me in any way. however, let’s talk a bit about his lethal and nonlethal ending. DOTO asks you to make a choice. is it better to give him an abrupt and merciful ending, after deciding that the fury he’s endured at the hands of others’ famine is too much trauma for any mortal to live with? or will you decide that it’s only fair to give him a chance to live the life he never got to, to return his humanity that was taken without his consent? if you choose to free him from the void, i think you can very very easily make the argument that he can be shipped with corvo, or anyone else that can easily be shipped w/ ppl. he’s finally free to live his life as a queer man, can explore the simple and complex joys of being human with other people, navigate the hills and valleys he never got to before. corvo’s just a nice pick bc 1) experienced human/inexperienced human is good, 2) they know each other, but they don’t. this is a good setup. 3) corvo is an older queer man and uhh you cant convince me otherwise lol! and older queer/younger queer is a self indulgence for me. also corvo is just nice. i think he would enjoy helping the outsider navigate his new humanity.

just some thoughts i have running through my head all hours of the day :) this is really long cuz its a combination of a lot of infodumps from discord lmfao

[lonelyshrimp]

What happened with your roomies if you don’t mind me asking...?

 Yknow what I’m in a mood and they don’t know my tumblr (haha they think I’m a cisstraight girl lol) so let’s get into some shit. Imma put everything under a read more bc imma rant a bit and this is gonna get long.

TW: food, unsanitary (general things not being kept clean, typically bathroom and kitchen related), drug use, fighting, slurs

tl;dr if you dont feel like reading this beast:

They steal what food i dare leave out in the kitchen rather tan keep in my room

They slam doors excessively, fight, yell horrible things to each other, have friends over yelling at like 2 am (last night for example)

Leave the doors unlocked and open?? We cant even lock the front door anymore??? (Dw the doors to our rooms all have locks. If I’m in my room or out of the house, my door is locked)

Constantly throw around the r slur. Like. All the time. Including one person having called me it. Y i k e s

One person keeps smoking in the house even though i’ve asked numerous times (and even have a note on my door) asking people to please smoke outside, it gives me headaches. You are physically hurting me stop.

Don’t Clean Anything. The kitchen is a wreck. The toilets are constantly clogging, I Am In Hell.

For context: the house is a one story house divided into a main floor and finished basement. It’s a rooming house and the basement is largely seperate from upstairs. (They have a kitchen door that they keep closed and locked.) The stairs to the basement are split into two smaller flights, with a landing in between the floors. That’s where the side door is. The public spaces upstairs are the kitchen (connects to stairs), the hallway, and the two bathrooms (big main one, tiny water closet by the front door). The rest of the upstairs is split into five rooms. For comprehension sake, we’ll call my roommates: The Couple (M&F), A, T, and J.

Mmkay lets start with the least egregious and move our way up, shall we? Theft! Of anything and everything! No one can have anything out in the public areas if they actually care about it. It. Will. Get. Stolen. Now, I have a mini fridge and the second biggest room here, so I’m lucky in that 99% of my groceries, as well as all my other belongings, fit in my room. There’s just a wee problem: I don’t have a freezer. Not to fear, past naïve me thought, I’ll just clean out and use the locked freezer since I still have the keys for that fridge! (We have two fridges and food theft was a problem beforehand and so me and my friend who lived here cleaned out the second fridge to use as our own and kept it locked.) I decided to do this after I had bought myself some ice cream, wrote my name on the top, and put it in the main freezer. I go to have some ice cream later that week, I open the tub for the first time (as in I removed the seal holding the lid onto the tub) to find that someone eaten half the tub of ice cream while making it seem like it hadn’t been opened. I know it happened at home bc the spoon marks were clear as day and I have to walk 20 minutes back from the grocery store. That woulda melted by then (Also I would’ve noticed at the store that. The tub was hella lopsided??? And way too light???) So yea of course I’m ticked now, I spent 6 bucks on that bro like just ask or get ur own??? So I put it the other freezer, and for a while it’s fine. Next month I decide to treat myself to some frozen waffles and some chicken strips and come home to find that the hinges holding the locks onto the doors of the fridge were torn out of the fridge/freezer doors. Like. The screws were pried outta this metal door rendering the locks completely useless (to the point i wouldn’t even be able to put the hinges back on.) And the cherry on top?? My ice cream was gone!!! Hope u enjoyed it, asshole. So whatever. Fine. I put my food away and. a week later?? Im like “Man i could go for some waffles rn”. I bought 2 8 packs. One chocolate chip, one cinnamon (y’all i literally buy the cheapest ones Zehrs sells. 2,19$ a box y’all. not even eggos). Surprise surprise!! The entire box of choccy chip ones GONE. Mind u, i wrote my name on all of these boxes, as well as a very large “DO NOT EAT”. so i begrudgingly had a couple (note that, 2) cinnamon waffles and move on. A couple days later I go to have some more and. The waffles are completely gone. Out of a total of 16 waffles, ya boy got a solid 2. (It’s worth noting that there was a single waffle left, but at 0,27$ a waffle, I didn’t mind leaving the box on the table with a note basically reading “these are cheap af, buy ur own bitch”.) (I didn’t swear that much tho)

I’d add the bike to the list but i can’t confirm nor deny that one of my roommates stole my tires and seat off my bike (although M does work on bikes all the time so man idk.)

Next up: wow people here are l o u d. I’m talking slamming doors all the time, slamming things around, yelling, playing music wildly loud. It’s awful. Like. You can just. Close the door quietly? Stop slamming things around please? It’s awful because loud sudden noises make me panic and lemme tell ya, wakin up at eight am bc your a-hole roommate decided to slam the door eight times bc the front door is broken because someone took the border around the jamb off instead of fixing it so we can actually?? lock that door?? because it doesnt quite fit in the jamb and so the only wat to lock it was the chain lock and. someone took that too so thats fun :)))))). The side door isn’t that much better. We have a code lock and. No One Ever Locks It. Like. I’ll come outta room and?? It’s just open????? Close the door???????????

The worst, however, is the fucking fighting. The Couple love to argue all the time. and yell at each other and slam the doors or smashing shit and they yell pretty awful things to each other. Like. I’ve heard M call his gf some awful shit. It’s worse when they have people over too. The other day there were like. 14 cops in here bc of them at like 2 am. Cue me, 2 am, trying to watch a livestream and seeing like??? Six cop cars pull up????? Wh a t????? Not fun not good for my brain.

God and. What is with everyone and the r slur??? Like what?? there are so many words you can choose stop using that word. Like okay the other night someone?? took the dc adapter for the wireless modem and one of the dudes downstairs as well as the couple were looking to see if they had a compatible dc adapter and so i just decided to wait?? and i just spaced out a bit okay whatever i was lookin at the wall like i do and fuckin. the couple had a couple friends over and one of em was chillin between the kitchen and the hall and M yells out from his room “Hey don’t you feel weird with this creepy ass bitch standing next to you? Like what is she, m*ntally r*tarded?” like wow okay dude i’m literally not doing anything. Luckily his friends reaction was basically “?? She lives here?? She can stand there if she wants??” (wow referring to myself as she feels weird and wrong).

A big problem I have is I feel like theres a community in this house that I just don’t fit into? Part of it is I’m like. the only person here who doesn’t do drugs of any kind?? Like I have nothing against ppl who use drugs like whatever bro, but it feels super othering to me when i can’t relate to anyone here because of it. That and. Getting T in particular but really just anyone but A to respect me asking that if you’re going to smoke anything to do it outside because weed and to a lesser extent cigarette smoke trigger my sensory disorder and causes me pain and causes sensory overload and I still find myself asking people to smoke outside.Like I’ve never been unreasonable and said “no drugs in the house” or some bs. I’m just asking u to respect my disability thanks.And like?? I’ll get into this in a second but there were needles in the toilet?? Bro throw them out properly.

And now: Hell.

Can no one clean up after themselves?? Do your dishes. If theres food left on your plate, throw it out first, don’t dump it in the sink. Seriously the kitchen sink is fucked. The kitchen is gross. The microwave ugh ugh ugh no thanks. No one can clean everything. This is why all my cookware and dishes are in my room. That way I can make sure I 1) Still Own It and 2) Its clean and usable. I clean them as I go and just use my own shit.

Nothing compares to the bathrooms, though. It seems like every other day one of the toilets are clogged. Last week there were spoons in the sink?? Like at least 10 spoons. In the bathroom sink. The floor is dirty because no one owns a mop and?? there was one in the kitchen?? I haven’t seen it in like a month. And the worst of all. Okay, it’s really bad when every one up here is between like. 16 and 19 I think? And I had to put up a sign in the bathroom asking people to flush when you’re done??? And I still have to flush before I can use the washroom???? And it feels like every week or so. The toilet’s clogged. Oh! I forgot to mention that the water closet doesn’t even have a doorknob anymore. Someone took it. But wait, it gets worse. Seriously if extremely unsanitary things bother u, stop reading now.

Twice in the past month I’ve had to contact the landlord because the toilets were beyond clogged. The first time was bad but oh lord nothing compares to the second time (aka last week). The first time was your pretty standard toilet clogs and backs up and its very gross. I contacted the landlord and it was fixed the next day and it was fine. For. Two Days. Im serious. See. People here have a real issue it seems of “The person before me didn’t flush so neither will I”, leading to a toilet bowl full of like. a half a roll of toilet paper and waste. F u n. What that led to was the toilet clogging, people not doing anything about it, and continuing to use it. Eventually the toilet bowl was full, so trow a shopping bag over the lid to mark the toilet as “Out of order” and move on to the other one.Both toilets were completely unusable. I emailed the landlord and i don’t know if either they or one of the people living here contacted them, but the old landlord and old property manager were here the other day to clean them out and fix them?? and yea among all the standard waste you’d expect in a toilet, there were needles? Like buddy theres a trash can right there? I know u had the needle caps bc they were in there too. just... disgusting...

bro this is just what i can think of off the top of my head i know theres more but oh no this is so long now. just. this is a lot more detail than u wanted but i wanted to get this out of my brain??

[alo-piss-trancy]

SD/R2 OMO HEADCANONS (Pt1)

Decided it was probably time for me to post a list of my omo hcs for this game since I did the THH chars! Like with the other list, I'll be excluding a couple I have no interest in thinking of omo content of (in this case, Hiy/oko and Teru/teru). I'm breaking this one into multiple posts throughout the week as I compile my thoughts (I'll add a link to all of them on the fic masterlist page later so you can find them all) because I feel this is gonna be a lot longer than my THH post haha!

Here we go, the first 3 (or 4) chars! Please stop reading now if you don't want spoilers for the game bc there will be several!!!

~~~

Gun/dham:

* I firmly hc him as vegetarian (not vegan. He will consume byproducts like milk/cheese/eggs/etc, but only harvested himself or from small farms/sources that he has personally vetted/researched where he knows 100% that the creatures are treated ethically.)

* That's actually not omo-related besides milk oops but it relates to my next point, which is that for the most part he prefers Natural food/drink. Water, fruit or vegetable juices/smoothies, etc. He's not really used to strange 'Human' confections like soda or coffee, so the caffeine and diuretics hit him hard and fast and make it difficult for him to estimate how much time he has. It also makes him jittery/hyped as hell which Does Not Help.

* As long as he isn't screwed over by caffeine or a ton of drinks, he has a decently strong bladder and can hold for a long time. He has a lot of practice from hiding/waiting to help certain animals, laying trapped under sleeping cats/dogs, etc. And also avoiding public restrooms like the Plagues they are for most of the day...

* He's bladdershy AF and has been since early childhood. I saw he had signs drawn on the doors/curtain in his room during my playthrough (including the bathroom) and that is definitely his safezone. Can't go outside either bc 1. He's paranoid he'll be seen by other ppl and 2. That feels disrespectful to the nature deities despite the logic that animals do it all the time. He knows that's dumb and he hates himself for it.

* Sometimes I do like to ignore the bladdershy hc just for some variety. Even in that case tho he'd still be a bit of a diva about which public bathrooms he uses. If it's gross or weird he's gonna avoid it/complain/refuse to go even if bursting. He's stubborn af

* We all know he canonically goes commando. Therefore he is in extra danger because any leaks will go straight to his pants RIP Since he usually wears black it isn't that visable (as long as it's just a bit and not a full wetting), but if he ever has to wear smth else u know he's screwed c':

* He's not very vocal when desperate at all. Mostly strangled whines or grunts (only when alone or if so urgent he can't hide it), he's just so easily embarrassed that he can choke most sound.

* He can also hide his body language pretty well. He can manage to keep himself to rigid posture and the occasional shudder or fidget if needed. Only when he's beyond caught and about to wet will he resort to obvious grabs or dances in front of others.

* Even if he wet he wouldn't cry (I don't seem him crying much for anything tbh, barring extreme things like death). He's angry at himself and extremely ashamed. He would get red as a tomato, attempt to slink away and avoid any witnesses for several days. Could get snippy or hide in his shell all pitiful, depending on the person.

* When alone or sure he can't be caught, he'll fidget more once things are dire. Mostly his long-ass legs. Jiggling, crossing, bending at the knees or bouncing up and down, shuffling from foot-to-foot, everything. He doesn't really do much with his hands beyond a quick crotch-squeeze.

* He'd def let Haj/ime or So/nia dom tf out of him as far as making him hold/lose control, he's submissive and enjoys the challenging test of limits. However, I could also see him totally having a thing for 'marking' his partners during the times he doms.

So/nia:

* Lowkey has a bladder of steel tbh, tho you'd never expect it by looking at her. It takes a lot to get her desperate and even more for her to crack enough to show her needs to others.

* She had a lot of long lectures/lessons, meetings, social events, formal balls, etc. growing up, so she just got used to waiting a lot between breaks so as not to interrupt or be rude to her guests. This also makes her wicked good at remaining completely calm on the outside and keeping the quiver out of her tone even when she's absolutely dying.

* Even once people know her problem, she would NEVER grab herself or dance. Literally the most you'll get out of her is legs crossed at the ankles. For the most part the only sign of her desperation is the slight fullbody shivering where she has her muscles and posture strained. If you're very lucky she may wince or her voice will start shaking/get breathy (her breathing gets super fast and shallow when at her absolute limit. Like nearly hyperventilating fast).

* While not shy at all about asking/telling others where she's going, she was raised with manners. She refuses to interrupt while others are busy, and will wait until she feels the time is appropriate to but into convos or leave the room, even if that could take a long time. She will not skip out on a group task if she can help it bc she feels very strongly about doing her part and not coming off as a slacker (so group investigations/new island exploring/building for Us/ami in Island Mode are all LONG tasks she will force herself to stick out without complaint, even if she's about to wet herself).

* Despite being a princess, she definitely doesn't view anything as being 'beneath' her. If someone asks her to just go outside/in a sketchy place/strange receptacle, she'll do it without question as soon as they agree to glance away. In fact, sometimes it's actually a little thrilling.

* If she did wet herself she would certainly be embarrassed, maybe even teary-eyed depending on the situation/who was around. However, it certainly isn't the end of the world for her, and she would be able to brush it off fairly easily once she got cleaned up and had a chance to breathe. Could probably start making jokes about it by the next day, or just wait patiently for everyone to forget about it.

* Probably has a big piss kink (for others. She isn't much on doing holds herself, minus an occasional 'Damsel in Distress' type roleplay). And honestly just a big one for domming others (sometimes sweetly, sometimes cold/cruel like True Royalty). She looks cute but She Nasty (tm). Gun/dham and Haji/me (to a lesser extent, bc his smart-ass take-no-shit attitude makes him a bit of a brat sometimes lol) are her bitches.

M/ikan (I have to split hers in two bc I have polar opposite hcs) :

Non-Despair M/ikan -

* Is every bit as shy uwu ohnoooo~ as you'd imagine. Super blushy and fidgety and teary-eyed but never admits what's wrong even once it's obvious, to the point of potty-dancing in place (but she's Totally Fine she can hang in there and doesn't need to stop what she's doing)! You literally have to drag her away to the bathroom if u don't want her to have an accident. Would rather die than inconvenience anyone by telling them she has to go, will berate herself for the inconvenience when that backfires and she's made a mess of herself, 120% convinced everyone hates her and p much refuses any comfort bc she's so trapped in the spiral. Bawls her eyes out.

* If on a rare occasion she does work up the nerve to speak up and is denied, that's it. She will not dare ask again even if the person didn't realize how badly she had to go. Nope. Clearly her only option is to hold it until she can't anymore, or until she's alone and can run off by herself.

*Also she totally would whimper to herself in The Worst omo video star voice lmao "Oh noooo I'm leaking into my panties~, it's cOmIng OuTtttt~ uwu uwu uwu" (i'm not making fun of those istg but u know Exactly what 'sexy baby' voice I mean. That is Mi/kan. Don't be so fake bitch We Know u didn't fall spread eagle naturally)

* Says 'Potty' unironically. It's the only word she uses for the bathroom.

* Surprisingly not bladdershy at all. She's actually the opposite. Will go Anywhere (but will be embarrassed while doing it).

* She's used to holding a lot bc afraid to leave class/stuck helping patients for hours on end. However while she has a wicked high capacity and stays very hydrated, she has pretty shaky control. Leaks A LOT, be it in general or bc she gets startled/nervous. She's like a chihuahua lmao. She wears medical liners when on duty as a nurse or during school, but for general hangouts she forgoes them (totally bc she forgot and Not bc she wanted to show her wet panties off to strangers/peers when she falls again, that would be Slu/tty and Improper).

* Once held for ages and then ended up wetting herself just bc Hiy/oko told her to. It wasn't actually a request, just a one-off snippy comment that H forgot about like 10 min after she said it and walked away. When she found out Mi/kan took it seriously she absolutely lost it laughing for the next few days

*Her potty dances include lots of thighs rubbing together/hunching over, hands wandering dangerously close only to pause and grip her skirt/dress hem, hopping from leg to leg and shaking at the knees. She's pitiful when desperate and very cute. Pants and whimpers near constantly, nibbles at her knuckles to try and muffle it.

* Knows when she's at risk of actual damage from holding, but it's still a 50/50 shot of whether she'll break down and go or keep trying to hold. She knows it's unwise, but due to her complete lack of self worth she doesn't really care if her own body is damaged.

* That said, she monitors everyone else very closely and will harass them firmly to take breaks if they're at risk.

Despair/True Mik/an -

* MASSIVE PISS KI/NK. Loves to be dommed/told to hold until she wets. LOVES to do the same to others and tell them all the mean things for a change. She will borderline Break You.

* Takes great satisfaction in watching others struggle. If given an opportunity to make others desperate/prevent them from getting to a bathroom without revealing herself, she will definitely take it. She has no sympathy.

* The Queen of lacing things with diuretics, but can also often find that boring/too easy. A bit disdainful of that method tbh.

* Tying ppl down to hold or hooking them to IVs and 'misplacing' the call button is more her style.

* Used to hold for Jun/ko a lot to appease her. Would be willing to hold for Na/gito, but tbh he's just as willing to hold for her so it's a bit of a stalemate and they've yet to work out who does what.

* Will piss on her victim/lover while staring them directly in the eyes. Does not flinch. She toes the line between sexy and just plain creepy lol

[thebrochtuarachs]

I just watched it and I just cry because I suddenly don’t recognise Claire and Bree anymore and I feel super bad for Jamie - not because Roger deserved that beat up - but that Brianna and Claire did nothing - NOTHING - to, at least, make him understand.

HERE ARE SOME OF MY OTHER THOUGHTS ON THE 4x10 EPISODE: 

1. Though I really missed the JB fireplace/cuddle scene (which I feel is equally, if not more important scene to be featured), I did like that they included the part where Jamie provoked Brianna and showed her that she couldn’t fight Bonnet even if she tried her hardest. I loved that Jamie was hesitant about hurting her but it was the only he knew how for her to realise that it wasn’t her fault. I hope Brianna knew that Jamie did it as his way to show his love for her. 

2. That scene in the end where Bree revealed he knew Jamie understood what was done to her because she knew it happened to him is indeed another block in the building of their relationship. I loved the fact that Bree opened up to him even though the topic was about murder, but trusted Jamie enough to guide her  in understanding the situation. I loved that Jamie said that he did for Claire and he would do all over again if need be - in some way, its his way of telling her that he’ll do anything for her too. 

3. I skipped all the Roger parts. All of them. 

4. I felt that the “abortion” conversation ran too long and Claire keep circling around the topic in very vague terms which elongated the conversation. When Bree asked if she considered it with her, my heart swelled a bit when Claire declared that “she and her father wanted and loved her” (I just didn’t like that the dialogue went ‘I wanted you, I loved your father and he wanted you’ - I mean, why can’t it be a collective like ‘we loved each other and we wanted you’, small thing but meh). I loved that revelation thinking about what happened in 2x13 and Jamie and Claire’s decision to part forever for her sake. Brianna, I think, also needed to feel that she is loved unconditionally by both of them and that they’ll do everything they can to help her whatever they decide. 

5. Loved that when Claire suggested that she leave back for the stone now, she didn’t want to leave. I think she wanted to spend more time with her mother and Jamie as well. She wanted to know Jamie. 

5. Again, bummed that the writers didn’t include Jamie and Claire’s argument when she was contemplating suggesting abortion to Bree. It was to be another impactful moment for J/C as they navigate being parents together, especially to a daughter caught in a complicated situation as Bree. 

6. TIME TRAVELING THEORIES TIME!! Hahaha!

7. Wee Ian being all grown-up and Brianna finally having a cousin! What a momentous moment. 

8. Am I the only one who cringes and hurts for Jamie every time Brianna refers to Frank as “my father”? UGH UGH UGH 

9. “I CAME HERE TO FIND YOU TOO” JUST PULL MY HEART OUT ALREADY. I NEED MORE JAMIE X BREE MOMENTS. THANK U, NEXT.

10. Is Lizzie even sick anymore? I guess not? 

11. I honestly didn’t get the trade scene? Is it important? Was it in the book? 

12. Claire must’ve really done herself in with all the gardening cause she looked awfully tired in the dinner table. 

13. Love Claire and Bree scene just talking about stuff in the future. Of course, these are things they cannot mention to anyone but to each other and surely, there’s a certain relief and freedom that they can talk about it now and its such a relief for both of them. Love this mother-daughter scene (though not sure how this scene adds to the story, I mean they could’ve used this airtime for some other important thing?)

14. OMG THE NIGHTMARE SCENE - DANG, BREE IS GOING THROUGH PTSD JUST LIKE JAMIE DID BEFORE AND I FEEL SO BAD FOR HER. It’s the same when Jamie thought he saw Claire and then Randall will seep through. For a while, I thought Bonnet was really there! I guess that’s how victims feel inside their head - good representation for me. Kudos to Sophie and Ed for giving me the chills. 

15. OH GOD HERE WE ARE IN THE MISUNDERSTANDING SCENE THAT TOTALLY MISSED THE MARK FOR ME. Though I dinner justify Roger’s beating, Jamie couldn’t have known what Roger looked like. Lizzie said it was the man and she was sure and Jamie was acting on pure instinct to save his daughter’s honour. But the way Bree explained it to him at the beginning of this argument was confusing already and Jamie, albeit not intentionally, thought otherwise of Bree’s intentions because he did not know there was another man. But slapping him? I get she’s angry, but he’s still her father and he deserved some respect. I wonder how many times in his life Jamie have been slapped, not many I’m guess, and especially from the people he loves. I think this part went a bit far especially when the “other man” is revealed. AND CLAIRE JUST STOOD THERE AND NOTHING, DID NOT EVEN MITIGATE A BIT, DID NOT DEFEND HER HUSBAND NOR LIGHTLY REPRIMAND HER DAUGHTER. I get that she had to appease Brianna but her face says that she’s angry with Jamie too but that was not the time nor place to show that anger. Jamie apologises and Brianna just blurts out “go to hell” I MEAN WHAT IS THAT. THAT IS JUST CRUEL. AND CLAIRE DID NOTHING STILL. (I AM SO ANGRY AT THIS SCENE AT THIS POINT). AND THEN WE GET “MY FATHER WAS A GOOD MAN AND YOU’RE JUST A SAVAGE” MORE CRUELTY THAT JAMIE DID NOT DESERVE. Gosh, I wonder what Frank Randall would do if he found out his daughter is unwed and pregnant - I bet he’d suggest losing it first. Brianna has been Frank Randall’s daughter for 20 years and it shows and I don’t like it one bit). 

16. WHEN CLAIRE REVEALED IT WAS BONNET, THE WOMAN HAD THE NERVE TO LOOK AT HER HUSBAND WITH ANGER AND RESENTMENT - WHEN SOME EPISODES AGO, SHE WAS TELLING HIM ITS NOT HIS FAULT BUT NOW, SHE’S BLAMING HIM. I HATED THAT LOOK CLAIRE GAVE HIM. I HATED THAT SHE HAD THE GALL TO EXPRESS IT. I JUST HATE THAT SCENE. THAT IS SO NOT JAMIE AND CLAIRE. THAT IS NOT HOW THEY DEAL WITH FIGHTS AND ARGUMENTS. NOT LIKE THESE. THEY DO NOT RESENT EACH OTHER BUT NOW, APPARENTLY, THEY DO. Jesus Christ, I AM SO SAD. 

17. DEAR LORD SAM HEUGHAN. HE IS THE SAVING GRACE OF SEASON 4. THE LOOK OF DESPAIR IN HIS FACE WHEN BREE ASKED “WHERE WAS ROGER” AND HE HAD TO HOLD HIMSELF TOGETHER. DAMN, THAT WAS SOME FINE GREAT ACTING. WHEN HE GOT ANGRY AND BRIANNA CALLED HIM OUT, THE RESTRAINT IN HIS ACTING, JUST WOW. HE DESERVED ALL THE NOMINATIONS THIS YEAR. JESUS, HIS ACTING IS JUST SO STRONG AND IMPACTFUL THIS SEASON. 

18. BREE IS JUST ALLOWED TO HIT PEOPLE, SERIOUSLY?! HERE WE ARE DEFENDING ROGER’S BEATING AND BREE JUST HITS PEOPLE. AND JUST THEN DID CLAIRE TRY TO REPRIMAND HER. SERIOUSLY. THE INCONSISTENCIES OF THE WRITING THIS SEASON IS JUST DESTROYING THE SHOW. 

19. I don’t even have words for the “Planning” scene other than Brianna is so demanding and Claire is being dramatic and everyone is just in a foul mood. 

20.  AND THEN WE GET ANOTHER UN-JAMIE/CLAIRE-LIKE SCENE. Jamie, now, wants to understand and he asks his wife for answers too. He’s asking so he can understand the extent of the damage he’s done, if he can repair his relationship with his daughter, he just wants to know and understand and what does Claire do - WALK AWAY. If this was the Jamie and Claire I know, they would hash it out all in the open until all is said and done (aka First Wife scene, Blade under the grass scene, FAITH scene, etc..) SHE DIDN’T WALK AWAY. HE DIDN’T WALK AWAY. THEY TALKED THE PAIN AND ANGER OUT BECAUSE THAT IS WHAT THEY DO - that’s what healthy relationships do, that’s always been them, it’s why they work. Secrets but no lies (well, Jamie lied about the hand but the Claire I knew will call him out then shut him down). I AM SO ANGRY THAT THIS SCENE DIDN’T GO TO AN ALL OUT CONFRONTATION CAUSE THAT IS WHAT I EXPECTED FROM JAMIE AND CLAIRE. Clearly, the writers had them in a different light where they walk away from each other - I DO NOT LIKE JAMIE AND CLAIRE WHO CAN EASILY WALK AWAY FROM EACH OTHER. NO. NO. NO. Because if it was easy to do that, then Jamie and Claire’s relationship are in trouble. 

21. I hated this “goodbye” scene too. ALL JAMIE WANTED TO DO, AND YOU CAN SEE IT IN HIS FACE, IS TO HUG IS DAUGHTER AND SAY A PROPER GOODBYE TO HER - BECAUSE TO HIM THIS IS A MISSION HE MIGHT NOT RETURN FROM (spoiler: it’s why Bree made her mama go with them). NOW MAYBE I JUST WANT JAMIE NOT TO RETURN TO BREE CAUSE SHE DOESN’T DESERVE HIM (okay, I went a tad overboard with this but I am so frustrated with these characters and story, im letting me feelings out). AND CLAIRE JUST STOOD THERE, DID NOT EVEN ENCOURAGE HER OR HIM TO PROPERLY SAY GOODBYE. SERIOUSLY, WHERE IS CLAIRE FRASER? THE REAL CLAIRE FRASER?! Seriously, and then Claire and Bree hug and Im just imagining Jamie there at the side, wishing he could too. I mean, he even passes by them again just so maybe he could but still, nothing and they all went in their merry way. (im so emotional about this scene) 

22. MURTAGH AND JOCASTA MEETING AND REMINISCING ABOUT ELLEN IS THE ONLY SAVING GRACE OF THIS EPISODE. I HAD SO MUCH FUN WITH THEIR INTERACTION. 

23. “WHILE MY MOTHER AND JAMIE...” Wow, I just don’t like Bree in this episode. So Jamie is relegated from Da back to calling him Jamie. Wow, such a disrespect. Could’ve called her “father” if she wanted something more formal or distant to call him. But calling him just “Jamie” just boils my blood with anger cause Jamie doesn’t deserve this cruelty. Jesus Christ, he sacrificed himself for all and it still is not enough, especially for the people who mean most to him. Brianna’s bratty attitude didn’t sit well with me this episode and I hate it. 

Bottomline, I knew this scene was coming. From book to TV, I didn’t expect the writers would delete important parts to give more context to feelings to justify it. No, they just jumped from one place to another, trying to go through the chapters so fast, they missed the point of it all. I missed a lot of scenes from the fireplace cuddle to the abortion argument. But Brianna’s and Claire’s attitude towards Jamie in this whole ordeal have felt nothing short but cruel for me. They didn’t give him a chance to explain, give themselves a chance to make him understand the depth of the situation. Instead, they shout at him, keep secrets from him, call him names, don’t acknowledge them, walk away from him, shut him out, and I hate that because he knows he’s done wrong and just wants to make it right but no one would tell him how or at least, again, make him understand. Jamie must be frustrated as heck between his wife and daughter, the only family he cares most about but he just stays silent. The turmoil inside must be killing him and he’d already decided that he will bring Roger back even if it costs him his own life. 

But damn, the writers just missed the mark so much with Jamie, Claire and Bree and how to handle the progression of their situation and I am so sad because I’m anticipating this moment most and they ruined it. 

Now, I don’t even have the courage or will to watch the last 3 episodes. They story, characters and actors (except Sam) aren’t just there this season and I just sad because this is my favorite book in the series. 

Fin. 

[silverliningslurk]

Looking Up

A pinch hit I wrote for @harutobirbi for the HQSSII! I really hope you like it, and I’m very sorry it’s late. It ended up longer and more troublesome than expected. 

Pairing: Tsukishima Kei/Kageyama Tobio Word count: 6k Rating: Teen for swearing Potential Trigger Warnings: None.  Summary: There’s a mistake with the futons during a camp, and via a ridiculous series of stupid events, Kei is left sharing with Kageyama. This can only go badly. Right? 

You can read it on AO3 here!  There’s an extra tidbit I wrote that didn’t quite fit on AO3 too, tumblr formatting doesn’t really work for that...

Kei feels a sense of impending doom as soon as they are led into a room full of futons, and one of the faculty gives them an apologetic look as she turns to face them. He feels it, completely, in every one of his bones, when she opens her mouth. He doesn't know why. Maybe it's just having seen those looks before, usually off his mother when she announces they're spending New Year at his aunt's place. Never fun. 

"So, I do apologise, but, you see, we made a slight miscalculation on the number of futons we would need, another member of staff saw the name 'Miya' twice and assumed it was a typographical error, and so, you see..." She mumbles, fumbling around with her hands like there is an easy solution to be found there, her red face indicating that perhaps she was indeed that staff member. Kei raises an eyebrow, as do most of the room. They're all tired, and they just want to go to sleep. "Is there a possibility, at all, that perhaps, two of you could maybe share? Only for one night, and we shall do our very best to rectify this situation tomorrow, I understand this is difficult, but I don't believe there are any extras within reasonable distance, you see..." 

They all stare at her, puzzled. It's not exactly the first thing they expected her to say; the sense of imminent disaster builds, although Kei will be the very last person to volunteer to share. 

Getting even more flustered, she flaps her hands in embarrassment, her face a stunningly bright shade of red. "I'll confer with the rest of the staff and see if there's any other options! Please decide amongst yourselves in case there aren't, though." She nigh on runs out the room, pausing barely long enough to bow deeply, and Kei is certain she started running before she'd fully finished. Not particularly interested in mentally debating whether it counts as a respectful bow if you start running in the middle, he just glances around at the others.

"Before any o'y'all say 'nythin', I ain't sharing wi' 'Tsumu." Miya Osamu drawls, shoving his hands in his pockets. Atsumu sneers at him.

"I ain't sharin' with 'im either! He farts!"

Osamu makes an impressive kind of 'psssssh' sound. "Not as much as you." "How would’ya even know, asshole?! You're asleep!" "So are you!"

"All votes in favour of having them on opposite sides of the room?" Kei suggests, crossing his arms. Most of the others raise their arms, which – thankfully – ends the argument between the twins. Mostly. They keep grousing at each other quietly, while Kei glances around the room again.

Sakusa looks visibly ill at the very notion of sharing with anyone. Kei is with him on that one, certainly. Hoshiumi looks like an ice demon who would warm his feet on your legs, and also seems like the kind of person to jump out of bed at 5am just to announce they were awake. Chigaya looks as though he’s trying to meld into the corner of the room, playing on his phone to avoid the whole situation. Kei guesses if he had to choose someone to share with, it’d probably be him, mostly for the reason that he looks like he’d sleep right on the edge just so he wasn’t touching anyone.

Motoya looks mostly disgruntled by it, like he doesn’t really care either way and just wants it sorted. Again, Kei can relate to that. He kind of wants to pick a futon, but then again, that might volunteer him for it.

He glances at Kageyama, frowning deeply at the Miya twins. Kei genuinely can’t tell if he even understands what’s been asked of him – knowing Kageyama, he’s been in a volleyball world ever since arriving and hasn’t left yet, certainly not to contemplate sleeping arrangements. He probably just assumes someone else will do it, unable to think of group dynamics off a line-marked court. Good for him, Kei thinks a little bitterly. He should probably be one of them having to share, because it seems like it would be funny to see how Kageyama, single child of the century, would react to that. He smirks to himself as he imagines the kind of outrage that would happen, but then gets to thinking who would make the funniest reaction.

Sakusa, certainly, but Kei doesn’t think he could be paid any amount of money to get in the same bed as someone else. He seems like the kind of guy who brought his own sheets because of his distaste of sleeping on someone else’s. Kei is quietly surprised, now he thinks about it, that he didn’t bring his own futon.

The rest of them he doesn’t think would have any particularly interesting reactions. Maybe Hoshiumi, but then those two are so obsessed and single-minded, they’d probably end up not sleeping and practicing instead. That would result in an incredibly ratty Kageyama, and a sleep-deprived Kageyama means everyone gets yelled at way more. Maybe less so here, but it will happen, and if it does, Tsukishima will get most of it, since he’s the one Kageyama is most comfortable with.

He uses the word ‘comfortable’ incredibly loosely indeed.

Although, having him share with either of the Miya twins could be interesting. As soon as he thinks about it, though, it makes him frown for no reason he can really put his finger on. It’s like… Kageyama almost gets on with them, but equally, there’s a feeling Kei gets about Atsumu, and to a lesser extent Osamu, that he can’t really trust them. Atsumu’s interactions with Kageyama set him on edge, just a bit, and he generally chooses to ignore it, and certainly hasn’t examined it closely. It’s probably just a sense that they’re taking advantage of Kageyama, but why would Kei even care about that? He doesn’t care about Kageyama. He’ll admit his talent, and the fact that he’s better than he was, but even so.

He doesn’t care about Kageyama, and that’s final. He’s not even thinking about that simmering weirdness right now, or the fact that Kageyama’s been acting kinda weird for a few weeks even before this camp.

It’s probably just been the thought of the camp itself, but it’s never happened before, Kei doesn’t think. It didn’t happen in first year, so unless he’s had a run in with someone here, but then, the one who seems to be getting the brunt of the weirdness is actually himself.

But that’s a puzzle he’s left in Miyagi, or tried to, at least. It’s Kageyama’s problem, and Kei doesn’t care enough to try to work it out.

He does not care about Kageyama. He’s good at avoiding things, and that’s a thing he’ll ignore wholeheartedly. Kageyama is probably just jealous Kei got invited. Hinata was too, but he’s got the flu. Kei thought there was some saying about idiots, but maybe that’s just colds, rather than the flu. Kei heard his mother had to practically lock him in the bedroom to stop him dragging himself over here.

He probably just imagined that, in actuality, but it's an amusing image. He smirks to himself, then sobers up and mentally thanks Hinata's mother for being sensible and not getting him to spread it. Hinata can keep his damn viruses to himself.

"Psssh!"

With that noise from Osamu, he becomes aware of a growing argument in the room, and realises the Miya twins never quite stopped grousing at each other.

“- you’d probably want to sleep with someone, manwhore.” “Wha’s wrong wi’ that? Too innocent for that kinda shit, ‘Samu?” “Not in a room full of other people, ‘Tsumu. That’s just gross.” “Well, nobody said I couldn’t!” Atsumu remarks brightly, and turns, surveying the crowd. His eyes almost immediately latch onto Kageyama, and gain a gleam Kei would say that he hated the look of. If he had cared enough about the whole thing. Atsumu makes a lewd expression and saunters forward towards Kageyama. "Say, me an’ Goody-Two-Shoes here could always makes ourselves comfy... together... couldn’t we?"

And Kei would normally just let it go. Would have let it go the year before. Should have let it go. But from something about Kageyama's face that says he doesn't get it at all, to not trusting Atsumu as far as he could throw him off the court, to a hot ball of unpleasantness squirming in his guts, instinct takes over the few brain cells that don't think before they act. The remaining brain cells look on tiredly and do not stop him.

Just because he thinks Atsumu is probably joking doesn’t mean he trusts him to not be serious. Everything about it rubs him up the wrong way, and he may not care about Kageyama, but.

So he strides to stand in front of Kageyama and puts an arm in front of him, like that would really stop Atsumu. But it halts him temporarily, puzzled. He feels the rest of them staring at him, and kind of wishes he hadn’t done anything at all.

Why does he care? It's only Kageyama, but then, it's Kageyama. Kageyama who wouldn't know flirting if it kissed him square on the lips, Kageyama who's probably never had a stray thought since he found volleyball, Kageyama who is probably just about dumb enough to go along with anything if he thought it would make him better. The thought of Atsumu too close, unsupervised, to the dense-enough-to-be-a-black-hole Kageyama, makes Kei feel intensely uncomfortable. Makes him kind of want to lock Kageyama in a different room altogether.

The door opens. "I'm terribly sorry, there really aren't any other futons..." She trails off, seeing Kei where he is, and maybe she's just grasping at straws, maybe she thinks it actually looks like they're agreeing on something or whatever, an incredibly stupid chain of thoughts happens in her head and her face lights up in relief. "So you two have decided to share for the night? Thanks for volunteering, we do have a slightly bigger futon over here you can use, you know where the bathrooms are, let us know if you need anything!" She says, and dashes away, as if sensing the disagreement.

Funnily enough, the rest of them snort, then scuttle off to occupy their own beds and mark their territories, leaving Kei and Kageyama in the middle of the room, dead still. Atsumu shrugs, and winks at Kei as if he knows something, and Kei swears murder will happen before these three days are up.

Kei is just trying to process. He was looking forward to a good night’s sleep, he’d brought ear plugs in case anyone snored so he wouldn’t be too tempted to strangle them, and he’d been going to pick the very corner futon to be furthest away from everyone.

Now he’s going to be the one sharing?

He doesn’t know how much worse it could get. Now though, most of them are settling onto futons and are not going to give them up easily.

Atsumu, still looking at the two of them, laughs raucously. "If you don't wanna sleep with him, I could always swap wi' ya?" He drawls, and it seems likely to be engineered exactly to piss Kei off. Osamu snorts. "Bet you ten ramen pots they don't make the night." He pitches in, and it swiftly descends, with the others making various bets as to the transient of this arrangement. Kei hates it, but he's nothing if not stubborn and refused to let people win. Furious, he leans over to Kageyama, still in his daze.

"You'd best not piss me off." He hisses, and storms off to attempt to get to sleep as early as possible. He wanted to read. He wanted to listen to music. "Who said I was gonna piss you off! Maybe you shouldn't piss me off!" Kageyama snaps, his first words in some time. Probably in volleyball dreamland like always, his freakishly sharp mind providing video replays of all the plays he made and how he could tweak them to improve. Instead of focusing on real life. Instead of seeing the things in front of him. So much of his brain is trapped on a volleyball court, Kei swears that’s the reason he’s so utterly stupid off it. Most people would be at the same level of stupidity if only 1% of their brain travelled around with them.

"Maybe if you weren't so stupid and kept responding, it wouldn't be a problem." Kei returns acidly, and grabs his headphones.

"So you want me to ignore you, then." Kageyama spits, and for a second, Kei thinks about it. His heart kind of... droops, when he does, like that would be a bad thing. The very idea that he might care about Kageyama and the fact that he does talk to him pisses him off. His grip on his headphones tightens. "Too bad. You're in the team, so I have to get on with you! Besides I-" Kageyama halts himself dead in his tracks; Kei notices several of the others furtively - or not so furtively - watching, and turns on his heel. He doesn't want to examine Kageyama's weirdness now. He'd not found any solution before the camp, and he especially doesn't want to find one now, whatever he might find, before he has to spend 8 hours sharing a futon with him.

"Whatever. Let's just get this over with. I'm not interested in anyone making money on me." He says, casting acerbic stares at certain parties in the room. Much to his disgust, most of them don't react too much, and mostly with amusement and the occasional 'we'll see about that'. Kei decides to do what he does best and ignore it fully, lying down, tugging his headphones on and putting on his loudest music. Which isn't that loud, but it is at least continuous in its volume, leaving no chances for snippets of surrounding conversation. He hates having it too loud for fear of damaging his hearing – and knowledge of how irritating it is when everyone else can hear music from someone else's headphones – so he sets it at the exact volume required to cover up most things. If anyone shouts he'll hear it, but they don't.

It's only about half a song later when the futon shifts. Kei freezes on instinct, and glances across – it is indeed Kageyama, which just increases his discomfort. Their eyes meet, then skitter away, Kageyama gaining a constipated sort of look in the split second Kei keeps looking. He then resolutely closes his eyes, determined not to look, or make this weird, or think at all.

He has shared with his brother. It can't be any worse than that, surely. Kageyama isn’t as tall or gangly as his brother, and probably not as much into casual touches. Kei’s never seen Kageyama instigate any kind of friendly contact, at least, which is a godsend, but still. So he’s probably not going to find himself hugged to death, but equally, this whole thing is so awkward and irritating, he’s not convinced he won’t. But the thought of people handing over cash and ramen pots because he couldn’t keep his cool in such an annoying situation irritates him more. If he has to deal with their smug faces on top of a bad night’s sleep, he cannot be held responsible for whatever he does do.

It can’t be any worse than sharing with his brother.

But it is. His anxiety is such that every shift Kageyama makes is heightened, and Kei even feels his presence when he is still, an odd kind of emanating presence. The rest of them have started to settle down and someone's turned the lights off, so it just feels so close. He doesn’t want to sleep in his headphones, but the music is the only thing distracting him, so he clings to them for as long as possible.

But even in his edgy state, he’s still incredibly tired, so it doesn’t take too long for his eyes to start feel heavy, the ceiling only taking so much of him burning holes in it. Reluctantly, he pauses his music and delicately places his headphones on the rest of his stuff, then his glasses in their case, habitually softening the snap as it closes, and puts that too on top of his bag, nestled down a bit so neither of them roll off and get stepped on, hopefully. The world takes on an auditory clarity, and a visual blurriness, and Kei tries to relax.

There are blurry light patches where some of the guys are checking their phones, and some hissed whispers he doesn’t catch enough of to understand. There’s just enough light from the windows to make out some shapes. Simply the act of putting his headphones away – and having to look at his phone to pause it – has temporarily banished a modicum of his immediate sleepiness, and he once again becomes aware of his current predicament.

The futon, as the faculty member had stated, is a little bigger than the rest, but it is not big, by any means. Even as close as he can get to the edge without falling off it, their shoulders are touching. It’s a burning heat he can barely stand, mostly because it makes him think.

“Move over.” He grouches quietly, uncomfortably aware of his heartbeat. He’s not used to close proximity with people, least of all Kageyama. There’s a flick of movement, and a hmph sound.

“I’m not falling off for you.” Kageyama grouses back, and Kei recalls the bets, and bites back a returning taunt. Presumably Kageyama is as far away as he can get too, and there goes his thought that perhaps he might avoid that contact.

And he can’t help but think about it. Kageyama’s been acting weird for weeks now. Nobody else had really commented yet, but it was only a matter of time, and if Kei had noticed surely it was obvious enough. He doesn’t even watch Kageyama much, so surely someone like Hinata has picked up that Kageyama’s been acting weird.

Which is in itself weird. Kageyama is consistent to a degree that you could set your clocks to, Kei has always thought to himself. Emotionally, at least. He got the same level of irritated at the same things every time. He got the same type of ecstatic when they won, and the same type of begrudging defeat whenever they lost. He got the same type of glint in his eye when he respected a player, and the same type of anger when someone pissed him off or worse, didn’t try hard enough at volleyball.

Kageyama didn’t act different.

But now he was.

Kei hasn’t been able to put his finger on it. He just seemed quieter than usual, not really challenging Kei on the same things he always would, not rising up to the bait the same whenever Kei taunted him. There was a slight, but noticeable, lack of quality in the shots to Kei, in particular. Sometimes one of the others, but Kei hadn’t seen Kageyama fumble this much since difficult games in first year. Nowadays, settling into his skills and scouted for the National Team, he rarely fumbled like this, and his irritation with it seemed… wrong, somehow. It didn’t seem quite the same as it had – he didn’t promise to work harder, or blame some aspect of the spiker. No, he tended to glare at Kei as though his mere presence had the ability to mess things up, and turned away just as fast.

Kei’s been intrigued, to say the least.

It happened more in practice than in practice matches, although it did happen then too. Every time it happened in a match, the opposing team never really seemed to think much of it, but Kei couldn’t stop. His analytical mind had latched onto it like a difficult maths problem, and refused to let go, even as much as it irritated him. He had to work it out, partly because real matches were coming up soon and it better not affect this year’s chance at Nationals, but mostly because Kei just could not stop thinking about it, and Kageyama.

And the more he thought about Kageyama, and observed, and taunted and spoke to and worked with, the more he noticed. The way that Kageyama was actually always sending him glances. The way he was sitting closer than he ever had, but never really looking at Kei when he did so. The way that he’d shove his homework under Kei’s nose just as much as Yamaguchi’s, now. (Mostly because Yamaguchi was better at explaining maths to them, but Kei was better at English and Science. The rest, as far as Kei was concerned, wasn’t hard enough to help them with. Rote memory, Kageyama had already shown to be very proficient at, so Kei didn’t bother with those.)

So he’s found himself spending a bit more time before and after practices sitting with Kageyama going through homework concepts. Kageyama even seems to get some of them – for five minutes, anyway. Sometimes Hinata is there and other times he gets wrapped up texting Kenma and drifts off like he seems to more nowadays. It’s become a common enough occurrence, him and Kageyama in the library, watching Kageyama get more frustrated with something and him just smirking more and more because it’s funny and kind of- nice, in a weird way. The lights in the growing gloom set a halo in Kageyama’s hair, his brows furrowed and calloused hands twitching to spend fractions of a second sending a volleyball on abnormally accurate courses, rather than holding a pen.

Somehow, he never gets much work done at those sessions, even though he swears he’s working. He blames Kageyama entirely. Him and his unending stupidity.

Stupidity that’s led to this. If he’d responded normally to Miya’s taunts, Kei never would have had to step forward. If he’d even realised, none of this would have happened. Kei would be asleep in his own futon and never worrying about any of this.

“Just so you are crystal clear on this,” Kei murmurs as quietly as he can muster, turning his head to glare at Kageyama, “I’m blaming you for all this.”

He can’t really see properly, but Kageyama looks at him, and frowns. He does not, as Kei would have possibly expected, get angry. “Why.” Kageyama mutters. “I shouldn’t have to explain to you.” Kei returns, and Kageyama huffs. “Tell me.” “It was because you’re thick. You didn’t get it.” “Get what.”

Kei is kind of glad that it’s dark. He can’t believe he’s having to explain this to Kageyama. “What Miya was doing.” “Which one?” “Atsumu.” “What was he doing?”

“Flirting, you numbskull.” Kei only says it, and says it quietly, because he’s sure that the others are just far enough away to not overhear. A few of them have started snoring, anyway, and the phone lights have all gone off. “Oh.” Kageyama says, and pauses. “Oh…” He stops again. “Why is this my fault?” “Because you didn’t get it.” Kei reiterates, annoyed. “What, so you felt you had to protect me or something?”

Kei feels like his lungs stop working for a second. “No,” he wheezes, acutely aware of how unconvincing he sounds. “Of course not. Anyway, this is just ridiculous.” “Oh. Okay.” “I’m going to sleep.” Kei retorts, put off-centre. Protecting him? From what? He didn’t care if Atsumu had his wicked way with Kageyama – except he kind of did.

That is a whole ballgame he does avidly not want to think about right here, in this second, pressed up against Kageyama because there is nowhere else to go. Kageyama hums, and he sounds kind of pleased. Kei turns away, and thinks so hard about music and volleyball and dinosaurs and very literally anything other than Kageyama, it gives him a headache, then bores him to sleep eventually.

The faster he goes to sleep the faster this situation disappears.

Except of course, that it is a situation that reappears upon waking up. The first time he wakes up, it’s far too early, and he’s been awakened by motion. He barely remembers it until later, and then wishes he had properly woken up, because he could have saved himself a lot of problems. The next time he wakes up, it’s to a camera shutter sound, and he feels warm and snug. And safe.

And somewhat trapped.

Kei decides to evaluate his situation firstly, and open his eyes next.

He is laid on his back, nothing abnormal about that. His left side is warmer than it should be, and there is a pressure across his chest, and his legs, and his whole left side.

He can guess, he thinks, but he needs to know, needs to check visually.

So he opens his eyes, and looks across and finds exactly what he ought to have expected. Kageyama is, for lack of any better word, flopped on top of him, head nestled into Kei's shoulder. His face is- remarkably relaxed, for once, not grinding his teeth or scowling like normal, and Kei just.

He doesn't know what to think. He knows what he wants to do, which is to not rouse him, or pull him closer. He feels like smiling, like taking a picture, like staying there for a while, like he's maybe possibly a little bit fond.

Fondness equals alarm bells. His eyes dart upwards, and find several of the other guys looking down at him - them. A smudge that looks like it could be Motoya has got his phone out taking a photo, and Miya Atsumu is grinning like like Cheshire cat. Kei squashes his eyes shut again, to give himself space, to think about this.

There proceeds to be a suspiciously Miya Atsumu sounding murmur of 'hah, gaaaa-yyyyyy' shortly followed by a slapping sound. Kei decides Miya Osamu is probably alright, but still, he's not staying in this situation. He needs to extricate himself and get some quiet. There's a level of controlled panic in the way he shifts sideways, and hears Kageyama groan. Discontent? Kei doesn’t want to think about it. He has just enough forethought to grab his glasses in their case, and ignores some suggestive and smug sounding voices as he pushes through them, to hide out in the bathroom.

Once there, he sets the glasses case on the side, and splashes his face with cold water. It does nothing to soothe his racing heart; it does nothing at all except bring him further into wakefulness and the awful realisation he has arrived at.

He’s fond of Kageyama.

He thinks, for a moment, that his brain has just skipped the friends stage, but then, it hasn’t, really. What are study dates in the library if not between friends? What are the teasing conversations, no longer as barbed as they used to be? What is the glare he gets when he calls Kageyama king, half-hearted and softer than usual? What are the allowances he’s been giving Kageyama, the more time spent with him, the more time dedicated to matching up with him? They’ve been friends, but Kei never realised. Like he never realised how much he’s been watching Kageyama, been thinking about Kageyama, and indeed been avoiding thinking about why he’s been thinking so much about Kageyama.

Yet still, this fondness, a pooling dripping sentimentality he’s never quite fully erased from his heart. It’s similar to the way he can’t quite throw out his oldest childhood toy, a stegosaurus with some of it’s plates falling off and patched up a hundred times. He’s used to Kageyama now, and in some ways looks forward to seeing him, looks forward to his blunt stupidity, the banter they have between them. The way they’ve started syncing up on court, and working together.

Fuck, he thinks to himself, glaring at his reflection in the mirror, clear now he’s put his glasses back on. How could he have let this happen? He doesn’t know what to do with this, he’s never had this before. Maybe that’s why he never saw it coming, creeping up on his blindside and taking him unawares. How is he going to get out of this now?

The door swings open, and Kei prepares to defend himself – but it’s Kageyama, and now he doesn’t know how to react. Stunned by his newest revelation, he just kind of nods. Kageyama has gone red, and stops.

And there’s a thick silence. Kei doesn’t want to admit that he didn’t mind it, but doesn’t quite want to say that he hated it either. He needs time to work it through, get on top of his feelings.

Kei decides to leave. He grabs his glasses and makes for the door, even though Kageyama is between him and it. He expects Kageyama to move. He doesn’t.

“Are you disgusted?” Kageyama demands, looking anything but peaceful like he did in sleep.

Kei thinks about it. Yes, would be one answer. He’s disgusted with himself for not noticing, for letting it go on so long. But equally, feelings aren’t quite so easily hauled into line. He’s not disgusted with Kageyama, particularly. He doesn’t care if anyone is that way inclined, he just had never thought he was himself. With little to no precedent, how was he meant to know?

“No,” Kei murmurs, “Are you going to move?” “Are you running away from me?” Kageyama tries again, glaring defiantly up at Kei. Kei can’t quite meet his gaze. “No.” Kei says, more certain this time. He means yes, of course. He needs time to think on it, analyse the problem, and find a solution. Needs to weigh the evidence, pros and cons, and external opinions. If he can get them without alerting the parties to the fact that he’s collecting them. Can’t be seen to be too interested.

“You are.” Kageyama states, blunt as ever. Kei huffs an incredulous laugh, but Kageyama continues. “You’re not even looking at me.”

Characteristically blunt, as always. Kei glares at him. “Happy now?”

Kageyama looks surprised that he complied. Daunted, even. He swallows, a manoeuvre Kei cannot help but watch.

“Someone is going to come in, soon.” Kei mutters, eyes glued to Kageyama’s. Kageyama nods. “Are you going to move?”

Kageyama gets that face like he’s trying to solve a particularly difficult problem.

Then he reaches around the back of Kei’s head and pulls.

Caught in a moment of surprise, Kei doesn’t fight it; consequently, he smacks into Kageyama’s face with some force. There is an instant of nothing, then a flash of pain. He coils away, holding his lips and nose, trying to ascertain whether there’s bleeding or breakages.

“Holy shit, Kageyama!?” he screeches. “What was that? You trying to kill me?!” Kageyama, in the midst of howling quietly, chokes, and ends up in a coughing fit. Kei brings his fingers away from his nose, and finding no blood – and no signature trickle at the back of his throat or down his nose – whips his head around. He’ll check his teeth in a minute. “What the hell was that.” He demands, and then- observes. Kageyama is red as anything, and although he does look like he’s choking, he’s not been doing that long enough to cause that reaction. He’s got one hand over his mouth and his eyes are flitting around frenetically. His brain starts clicking over, the previous conversation and everything prior, and fits it imperfectly together into- “Was that supposed to be a sorry attempt at a kiss?”

“No!” Kageyama shouts, too fast, too high pitched. Kei narrows his eyes. “So it really was? Because that is not the way to do it.” Regardless of whether Kei actually knows the proper way to do it, he can be fairly certain that any way that involves possible permanent damage to his nasal cartilage is not it. “Like you know better!” Kageyama spits, sounding faintly panicked. “Clearly better than you, if that’s what you think is a good idea!” “Why don’t you try then!” Kageyama dares him, and Kei swears that proto-kiss knocked a few brain cells loose, because he actually considers it.

“No.” Kei remarks, and stands up, intending to check his teeth for blood, and also to hide his face from Kageyama. “Because I’m not into messing with people like that.” It’s ridiculous to get his hopes up. Kageyama has the social skills of a slug, and the finesse to match. People cling to things in their sleep, it’s a natural habit left over from being an infant, and a human need to be close to things. It’s for warmth, more importantly, and therefore likely means nothing. Kageyama probably has some weird idea in mind that for some reason involves Kei.

There’s no blood in his teeth, and none apparently forthcoming. That’s good. He’ll go and get changed and start his day and analyse this all later, or better, after the camp. He’ll package away the hurt and the confusion, and dwell on it later. He’ll only get annoyed if he does that now.

But before he can turn and leave, there are footsteps across the floor, and a hand on his arm. He barely gets a chance to raise an eyebrow and take a breath to speak when Kageyama steals it from him.

It’s much softer, thankfully, although his bruised lips still complain. It’s clear still that Kageyama doesn’t really know what he’s doing, screwing his eyes shut, but he makes a good approximation; he weaves his hand into the fine hairs at the nape of Kei’s neck and makes him shiver. Kei’s wide eyes stray to the mirrors, reflecting this scene, black and blond, fuzzy out the side of his glasses.

They’re so different. So very different. How can they be here? How can they occupy the same space, and not explode like antimatter meeting matter? Maybe that’s why they’ve always fought before, but then why is this good, and not bad? Why does it feel like a summation of their parts, rather than a negative and positive clashing and negating the other’s effect?

He could push Kageyama away, right now. He could push him and all this away, and run. It occurs to him in the same breath that he gives in, closes his eyes and puts his hand on Kageyama’s shoulder, pushes back into the kiss, because now he thinks about it, the thought that Kageyama was organised enough to mess with him seems wrong. Unlikely, somehow. Kageyama is not known for his grand schemes off the volleyball court, nor his ability to manipulate people.

And Kei can make the most of the opportunity in front of him. If this is the only time he gets to do this, he’s not going to pass it up too easily.

By the time they separate, they’re both breathing harder than usual, and Kageyama frowns at him. “I don’t mess with people.” “I’m getting that vibe, yes.” Kei murmurs. “Someone’s going to come in here soon.”

Kageyama nods, and steps back. He keeps his eyes on Kei, expectant. “But I want to do that again.” Kageyama says. “Of course, but not now.” Kei returns, thinking it’s been a surprising amount of time without interruption. It’s only when he notices Kageyama’s eyes widen that he realises. “I mean…” Ah, what the hell. “I need to think about this. Later. We have camp to survive, first.”

“Later.” Kageyama repeats, sounding pleased with himself. “Alright. I can wait.”

Kei grimaces as he hears loud footsteps and voices storming up to the door. “You were always going to have to.” He remarks, but, quietly, to himself, he can reflect that he’s kind of looking forward to it.

But he can enjoy teasing Kageyama by making him wait.

Where’s the fun in making it easy? Plus, he has no interest in giving any of the others any smug pleasure. In addition, he’s going to be a rich man if they all cough up their debts to him. He might even see to sharing a few ramen pots with Kageyama.

If he’s lucky. If he hasn’t actually knocked any teeth loose.

Well, there’s room for improvement, and time for it, too. Things are looking up.

[nenastrology]

you should rate the arcs. share your wisdom with us. (or rank them by craziness /wtf moments)

ok i think rating them is easier than ranking them i can add craziness as a category alright alright

ok this ended up being nightmarishly long so im just putting it all under the cut for anyone who feels like reading giant blocks of text on my opinions on every single naruto arc

land of waves - classic very good i genuinely wish there could have been more arcs like it to show team 7 really bonding and growing together before sasuke ends up feeling alienated its got a really sweet touching story and naruto and sasukes relationship starts off already at a pretty high level of crazy like oh yeah right out of the gate they are trying to die for each other this can only get crazier from here i would have probably liked it more if id read the manga first because the anime murders the pacing of the fights here but overall i do really like it

chuunin exams - i love lots of chunks of it but it did really feel like a slog to get through parts of the forest of death and a lot of the more minor fights because kishimotos really just not very good at writing fights that he doesnt put his absolute most effort into i really love how the anime added to the part where sasuke gets the curse mark and how naruto is separated from him its really emotional and strong sakura actually feels like shes trying to become a character here i love her fight with ino and cutting off her hair legendary and im not a monster gaara vs rock lee still makes me scream the craziness of this arc is actually finally not riding on sasuke being crazy finally gaaras carrying the craziness hello blood drinking 12 year old i hope you get better soon 

konoha crush since i guess its a different arc - ok i actually really love all the weird political stuff kinda added in here the hints at some actually interesting village conflict i wish thats what the ninja war arc could have built from and orochimarus definitely the most comprehensible villain in the story and i love naruto vs gaara so much like thats really peak and tbh extremely satisfying to watch the shitty old bitch hokage kick the bucket like killing gaaras evil dad and hiruzen really was the best thing orochimarus done finally gaara has more help with craziness cuz narutos losing his mind too and sasukes getting some crazy seeds planted for later craziness harvest

search for tsunade - i feel like i really like this arc but when i actually read it im like hmm theres all these parts i dont like but i really love all the character stuff itachis introduction is iconic and i really do love tsunade and her fighting orochimaru was like highlight of everything its weird i dont have a lot to say but i do actually like this arc a lot in a way im like not sure why craziness is kinda low except for sasuke whos absolutely losing his entire mind which stresses me out so much and this is where i start getting extremely sad about sasuke

sasuke recovery mission - 80% of it is the absolute worst part of part 1 and 20% of it is the absolute best part of part 1 like this is really where all the warning signs of quality dropping and like kishimotos lack of skill writing fights really really starts to show like really all those fights do is kill the emotional thread running from the hospital fight, sasukes goodbye to sakura and sasuke and narutos fight which are like the best things hes ever written the craziness is turned up as high as it can get the emotional stakes and pain and love are also so high this is peak naruto if we just pretend the fights against the sound 4 never happened just skip them

kazekage rescue mission - this is where all the omens from sasuke recovery mission and the quality drop really like finally start meaning something because really this arc SHOULD be good and its like really really good in certain places like any time naruto and gaara are talking thats just love right there and all those moments really make it almost worth it except that kishimoto really took such a nose dive on understanding how to pace fights the parts that dont have gaara and naruto gazing tenderly at each other feel like pulling teeth like sasori vs sakura really should be absolute peak and its got some truly fantastic moments but it just goes on for so long i feel like im gonna die before sasori ever does that fight could have given us womens rights and the craziness is really high like naruto is just losing his mind about gaara and sakura killed a man with her bare fists

tenchi bridge - oh the love its palpable here and so is the craziness like naruto going to 4 tails because orochimaru just says a few things about sasuke like wow and their whole reunion is so good the passion and weird emotional issues all coming to the surface i love yamato here hes a fun guy and i really like the new team 7 dynamics they are fun i like lots of parts of it but i cant think of anything else to say its what it says on the tin emotional sauske and naruto reunion

akatsuki suppression mission - alright full disclosure i fucking love this arc this arc is the reason i sometimes throw my brain right out of my head and start talking about how much i love shikamaru i prefer all the emotional moments in the anime a lot it felt very rushed in the manga and like that whole episode of team ten processing their grief was so good but god im so so mad that only shikamaru got to have a big important fight like ino and choji should have been helping equally and i really really hate the fight with kakuzu its just more badly paced bullshit for kakashi and naruto to get to be super op when this was supposed to be a bonding moment for team ten this is a little crazy but its team 10 crazy not team 7 crazy which means they are still pretty normal well adjusted people with brains in their heads who are just having a moment

itachi pursuit mission - sasuke killing orochimaru really was so incredibly perfect and forming taka? this arc is about gay rights uum its really short so i dont have the most thoughts but yeah sasukes like maybe at his least crazy until the end of the story like hes got a real concrete plan find gay friends and kill his brother but hes really got a big storm coming 

tale of jiraiya the gallant - i really do not like jiraiya all that much hes just boring and weird but i love the chunks of rain trio backstory we get they are really the last bit of complete villain characters we are gonna get very tragic idk the fight is like alright for this stage of naruto but it still lasts too long and pains powers still make no fucking sense and feel just too overpowered you know also zero crazy which is very disappointing all naruto arcs should have crazy

pain fight - ive got lots of conflicted feelings like the fights not very compelling at first because genuinely the pain bodies are just too strong its very weird and narutos got this big power up which is what it is i really love pain as a villain like hes literally right about everything hes saying but it has to be bizarrely undercut by just bonding awkwardly about jiraiya and yeah theres some very cool battle moments theres some good shit in there but long drawn out battles arent exactly my thing but naruto going 8 tails was still pretty fucking cool and god it was such a cop out that everyone came back to life at the end COWARD KISHIMOTO

kage summit - the one the only kage summit absolute peak craziness like sasuke trying to take down the entire world government thats absolutely iconic i love him for it so much narutos having his own melt down about sasuke sakuras decided she doesnt actually need a brain anymore and has also lost her whole fucking mind in the whirlwind of chaos like this arc feels like an anxiety attack at some points but god do i love it naruto and sasukes whole confrontation is absolutely peak ill bear the burden of your hatred and die with you?? the love the tragedy this is truly peak gay drama thats really like hes planning a lovers suicide and we are all just along for this crazy fucking ride love it

war arc - how did we go from kage summit to this like kage summit felt like it was maybe actually going somewhere but the quality drop is just like an elevator was cut and we are now all speeding to crash at rock bottom here what the fuck happened why was this written why is it literally 1/3 of all of naruto why has god abandoned us itachi and sasukes reunion was very good and needed i loved all the parts with hashirama and madara and really for one sweet moment it seemed like madara might just be a dumb sexy villain who just wrecks shit until all that spiraled down into garbage if i think about obito for too long i start to go crazy thats the real craziness of war arc is how fucking stupid it is and that is making everyone whos ever read or seen it go crazy right along with it

wiki is telling me the kaguya bit is its own arc so lets go with that - ok kaguya fight is pretty cool im into it to a certain extent her weird portal powers are fun i like that but thats really not what we are here for now are we no we are here for the conclusion to 15 years worth of crazy we are here for sasukes final massive lose his mind time and naruto to go right along with him the love and the tragedy but the hope it offers as well love was really invented by the second valley of the end fight and the anime said gay rights and made it the prettiest thing you will ever look at and also adding all the extra tender moments between them like this is it this is why you watch naruto you watch it all for this and god do we love it but wow the trying to be serious stuff about hokage really is so fucking stupid lets pretend that never happened 

wow i really just typed that all out shout out to u 2 loyal fans who read all this shit i guess it was only a matter of time before i wrote something this long and stupid see i do actually like naruto i feel like i couldnt really hit the balance of complaining or praising so idk it might sound more positive or more negative than i actually am but there are really some good parts yes i watched the whole war arc no you shouldnt

[switchdnp]

Intermission

Summary: Almost 2k words of absolute filth, dnp enjoying one of their free days to its full extent

Word count: 1917 (so close)

Warnings: knifeplay, humiliation, degradation, some praise, pain kink, bloodplay, blowjobs, fearplay, punishments, sensory deprivation, d/s dynamics, face fucking, there’s a lot happening okay

A/n: i got hella carried away with this tbh, hope u like it bc im gonna think about writing it the entire time im meeting dnp tomorrow

When Phil had been teasing Dan all week, aching for some kind of punishment, some way for Dan to reprimand him and get out all the stress and built-up tension from the tour--he hadn’t expected this. He hadn’t expected to be sitting on the floor, on his knees with his hands tied behind his back. He hadn’t expected to be blindfolded and waiting, waiting to hear Dan walking into the room. Waiting for Dan’s warm, soft hands running over his body where he couldn’t see, could only feel.

But he’d asked for this, he’d gotten himself into this situation. And, if he was being honest, Phil wasn’t sure he’d wish for anything more to help him unwind at the end of the such a long week. He loved it when Dan took charge, loved getting to just take orders, let himself be guided and taken care of. And he could tell Dan loved it too. He’d always liked being in control of things, made him feel like he had everything a little bit more stable and safe. Sometimes, being in control of Phil—just for the night, of course—gave him that sense of safety he needed. Phil took pride in being the only one that could give that to him.

After what felt like hours of waiting—but was realistically, probably only a few minutes—Phil heard Dan’s footsteps approaching, followed by the opening and shutting of their bedroom door. He shuddered as he realized that meant Dan was finally in the room, finally there to enact whatever punishment he had planned. Phil could barely wait. His favorite part of rougher scenes was always getting to anticipate what Dan would do to him, what limits he’d push and stretch to leave Phil a shaking, whiny mess.

The mattress squeaked, and Phil knew that meant Dan was sitting on their bed now. He could practically envision how gorgeous he must look, calm and cool, the warm, low lighting of the room making his pretty features stand out even more. Part of him wanted to see Dan, wanted to see that gorgeous, self-assured smirk Phil could just tell he was already sporting. Nothing turned him on as much as Dan’s cockiness and confidence, absolutely nothing.

“Phil, come here.” Dan spoke, low and quiet in a way that made Phil’s stomach twist in the best way possible. He sounded so commanding, easily getting Phil wrapped around his finger, completely desperate to please him, without ever having to raise his voice.

“Yes, Sir.” Phil replied, shuffling on his knees to the bed as best he could without being able to see. Dan told him when to stop, running a hand through his disheveled quiff, and fluffing it fondly.

“Good boy.” He muttered, letting his fingers run down the side of Phil’s cheek before pulling his hand away. Phil’s heart jumped at the praise, he loved being Dan’s good boy, loved making his Sir happy when they were in play.

“Do you know why you’re being punished, love?” Dan asked, the warmth in his voice balancing out the stern tone. He was so gentle with Phil, even during punishments. Couldn’t bear to even risk hurting his baby.

“Yes, Sir. I was bad, I teased you all week in front of all our friends and managers.”

“And what do you say?”

“I’m sorry, Sir.”

“Good boy,” Dan repeated, leaning down and kissing the top of Phil’s head as he said it, just for extra emphasis. “you’re such a good boy for me. But even good boys need to be punished sometimes, right, love?”

”Yes Sir, please punish me Sir, promise I’ll be good.” Phil said, trying to hold back the quiver in his voice. He was already trembling just waiting for the actual punishment to begin.

“Okay, you know your safeword, right?”

“Yes Sir. Red, like always.”

“That’s right baby.” Dan cooed. Phil didn’t see it, but he could tell Dan was smiling. Could hear it in his voice, like he just couldn’t hold back the love he had for Phil, even during scenes. It was unbearably sappy and sweet—and Phil loved it.

“Alright, I’m gonna get out something special for your punishment. We haven’t played with it in a while, so tell me if you feel uncomfortable or unsafe at any moment, okay angel?” Dan said, reaching over and pulling something out of their bedside drawer. Phil heard it clang against the wood as Dan got it out a little clumsily, and it sounded almost metallic.

“Sir, is that—“

“The knife? Yes, baby. Are you okay with me using it on you?” Dan asked, not missing the way Phil’s body was visibly tensing now, his shoulders drawn taught, and palms clenched in his lap. “You know you don’t have to say yes, right?”

“Yes, Sir. Of course, Sir. I’m okay with the knife, just don’t cut too deep, please.” Phil responded, shuffling closer and reaching out to where he could feel the knife in Dan’s hand. He stroked his fingers along the broad side of the knife, coming to a halt when they met the sharp, pointed tip. Dan started moving the knife then, dragging it gently down from his fingers to his palm, and letting it rest pressed against the center.

It wasn’t enough to draw blood, not even enough to break the skin, but Phil still shivered as he felt the cold metal move on his flesh, tempting and teasing with the idea of pushing just that little bit further. It kept Phil on edge, adrenaline mixing with arousal and making his head spin. He was already dizzy, and they’d barely even started.

“I’m gonna move it to your throat now, okay? Hold still for me.” Dan muttered, his soft voice standing out in the otherwise empty, silent room, nearly making Phil jump. He did as he was told, however, and sat still for Dan as he slid the blade slowly down the side of his neck. He stopped at Phil’s collarbone, twirling the knife in his hand, and letting the tip spin on Phil’s flesh. Phil was breathing heavily, his heart racing in his chest and blood running hot every time Dan almost cut him with the knife. He wanted it, wanted to feel that cold metal breaking past his warm skin, wanted to feel the small droplets of blood running down his neck—

And then Dan did it, dragging the pocket knife up quick and hard enough to leave a mark, draw blood. It was only a scratch, but Phil couldn’t hold back the way his whole body shuddered, almost sighing with relief as he let out a breath he didn’t know he’d been holding.

“Does it feel good, baby?” Dan cooed, his voice sickly sweet in a way that made Phil’s pulse beat even faster. “Do you like it, like how much it hurts?”

“Yes Sir, fuck, hurt me more Sir, make me feel it.” Phil whined, practically keening when Dan did just as he asked, piercing a deeper, longer cut just below his pulse point. Phil’s head lolled back, exposing his neck even more, which Dan gladly took advantage of. He skimmed the knife up along his adam’s apple, leaving it there ‘til he could hear Phil’s breathing speed up, almost panting by then.

“Alright baby, I think you’ve had enough fun with the knife.” Dan said, setting the blade aside on the bed. “Suck me off now sweetheart, maybe if you’re good I’ll rub you off with my foot. Would you like that, Phil? Me, getting you off just from grinding my heel against your pathetic little cock?”

“Shit, yes Sir, I’ll be good, please, please.” Phil babbled, desperate for any touch Dan would give him to his hard, aching cock. It was throbbing between his legs, hanging pitifully and completely untouched.

“Okay love, be a good boy and open your mouth for me, yeah?” Dan said, unbuttoning his trousers and pulling his cock out, guiding Phil by a hand in his hair to where he could push his dick past his lips. Phil moaned around Dan’s cock, basking in a bit of self-satisfaction when he made Dan’s hips jerk, forcing him deeper down his throat.

“Fuck, such a fucking whore, aren’t you baby? You like my cock in your mouth? Want me to fuck your face?” Dan groaned, tightening his grip in Phil’s hair. Phil nodded as best as he could in his current position, bobbing his head once just to be a little extra convincing.

Dan leaned back and started pivoting his hips, holding Phil’s head still as he fucked up into his mouth. Phil whimpered with every thrust, hands clinging onto Dan’s thighs for support as he tried to hold back from gagging, reflex tears streaming down his cheeks. Dan wiped his damp face, muttering something under his breath that sounded a lot like “Pretty baby, such a pretty baby when you cry.” It made Phil’s cock throb even harder, still completely ignored.

Apparently, Dan decided to rectify that situation, the tip of his shoe finally, finally brushing over Phil’s dick. He rubbed against the head of Phil’s cock, his sole already slick with the precum that was steadily dripping from Phil’s slit.

“Fuck, fuck, Sir please, feels—shit—feels so good Sir, please keep going.” Phil sobbed, pulling off of Dan’s dick just to beg before diving back down, taking Dan’s cock back into his mouth like the good little boy he was. Dan did as Phil asked, pressing even harder now, grinding in a way that almost hurt, the raw friction rough against Phil’s cock without any lube, but he liked the way it burned ever so slightly. Maybe Dan wasn’t the only one with a thing for pain in this household after all.

“Gonna make me cum, baby. Wanna cum all over your face, make you all pretty for me.” Dan moaned, pushing Phil off his cock and jerking himself the rest of the way to release. Phil let his mouth drop open for the second time that night, catching most of Dan’s cum with his tongue, the rest of it landing on his cheeks and chin. He scraped off some with his thumb, licking it clean and moaning at the taste—Phil loved being a tease, after all.

Phil bucked his hips once, twice, and then he was cumming against Dan’s shoe, too worked up and blissed out to even consider being embarrassed over hitting his orgasm so easily. Dan chuckled as he watched Phil come down from his high, panting and resting his head in Dan’s lap, utterly exhausted.

“Did so good for me, baby.” He praised, “I’m so proud of you, took your punishment so well.”

Phil smiled drowsily as Dan spoke, he was tired beyond belief, and honestly just wanted to go to bed now all was said and done, but he let Dan monologue to him about how well he’d done as they both slipped out of their respective headspaces, reassuring words—and a few band aids, admittedly—the only aftercare they needed tonight.

-

[kkaebsongtypo]

Patrón™ Proposals // Mark Lee

(A/N: [i wrote half of this on mobile and I hated it ���ㅠ] hey all! so i fucking died while writing it because y'all already know i love Mark more than anything OOF. but yeah, i really hope you enjoy this because I had a great time putting it together! Oh! It's also the first part of a new series ;3 drunk!nct (legal members) - Jae☾)

everything written in this au is fictional.

pairing: mark x (female)reader

genre: full gallon of fluff

warnings/notes: I AM IN NO WAY ENCOURAGING UNDERAGE DRINKING. (but i am a realistic thinker.) i included jeno and renjun being tipsy, the legal age of drinking in korea is 19 but we decided to base it in Canada because it is a Mark au (yeet fellow canadians), but at the same time i altered haechans birthday to be his nineteenth (i am sorry that this is such a mess) and the fluff is coming. (and there is some cursing but when is there not?)

wordcount: 1164

Intro

All in all, Donghyucks nineteenth birthday party was great.

Jeno and Renjun did a tipsy I Love You Bitch duet,

Johnny and Yuta periodically appearing with shots,

Mark taking a few of Hyucks shots so he wouldn't get comepletely plastered,

Ten impersonating rupaul and saying "bring me my boys!" whenever he lost sight of one,

Chenle shouting "LET'S GET IT" e v e r y t i m e one of the older boys would take a shot,

Taeyong getting ready to drop kick any underaged members who try to steal a drink,

Sicheng clapping everytime Hyuck took a drink,

Lucas letting the younger boys have a sip of his drink when nobody was looking (we are sorry)

over all, it was a long ass ride wild ride.

After things settled down, it was time to go home

Mark wants to walk home.

So yall start walking and he is like,,;,;; really happy

cracking a bunch of bad jokes Johnny told him.

You lost your shit a few times because Mark is awful and this is the worst (but he cute so it's g)

You guys continue on your way but you zone out for a minute while passing a dress shop (there were some hella cute dresses in the window)

Once you snap back to reality, you find Mark watching you with the biggest smile on his face.

"What are you smiling at lightweight?"

Mark laughs as if you said something actually funny,

"I just thought you'd look really pretty in that wedding dress."

You think he's joking around so you play along

"Why don't we just get married then?"

Mark stops dead in his tracks so you turn to tell him not to worry,

thinking he was getting cold feet about your fake wedding.

But when you actually face him, he's smiling like a kid on Christmas.

"Let's go get a wedding!!"

and now you're just s h o o k™

You almost agree but he was drunk as fuck

"Uh Mark, baby, I was kidding."

"No come on, I swear it will be great babe!"

"Mark it's just not a good idea."

"You're right, it's the best idea you've ever had!"

You can't believe how soft and enthusiastic this boy is right now.

"Honey, you're really drunk."

"Nooooo I'm not drunk, I just love you a lot."

"A looooooooot"

Not really knowing what to do, you keep making excuses as you walk the equivalent of a drink toddler home.

"Taeyong won't be happy if he hears you randomly got married."

"No Taeyong will love this idea, trust me."

"Babe what about our other family and friends?"

"They all think we're cute, it's fine!"

"No church is open at this hour.."

"Hey Siri where can I get married in Vancouver at two am?"

"Mark, you disabled Siri because it scared you."

"Oh yeah........"

Eventually, Mark gets distracted.

He wants a hamburger.

Mark convinces you to go get a burger.

The boy drags you to a Wendy's (Great burger joint FiGht mE)

He almost orders six burgers but you limit him to two because he's small and y'all don't have a ton of cash on you

You get a burger and some fries too because burgers are great man.

Mark wanted a frosty.

Mark got a frosty.

You can't say no to him when he looks that cute (which is all the time tbh).

Once y'all get your food, you're about to walk away

BUT MARK STILL REALLY WANTS TO GET MARRIED OKAY.

So he asks the girl working the register what she thinks.

"Hey I'm trying to convince my girlfriend to marry me tonight but she thinks its a bad idea because its late"

You're so embarrassed that you're ready to deck this boy.

"Mark, I swear to go-"

"Babbbbbe stop interrupting meeeeeee."

The girl gives you a sympathetic smile as you drag Mark out of the Wendy's.

While Mark eats, he quiets down a bit (only a bit.)

Y'all are walking down the street eating your burgers

Mark lists a bunch of reasons why it is a great night to get married.

Slowly but surely, you get him home.

You sit him down at the table and get him to drink water because you really don't want him to throw up.

You plug in your phones and make him brush his teeth.

Y'all head to bed once Mark sobers up enough to the point where it was safe to let him sleep.

You were the first to wake up in the morning.

You're a nice person so you leave a painkiller and another glass of water on the nightstand before you go take a shower.

Mark wakes up soon after you leave and feels like Trash™

He just feels hella relieved because he doesn’t have to leave the bed

After taking the painkiller and drinking the water you left for him, he goes on his phone

AND HE IS MET WITH THE HORROR THAT IS HIS SNAPCHAT STORY

Mark is shooketh to the highest extent after seeing about ten videos of him begging you to marry him

He spent about fifteen minutes reading through all of the replies;

Jaemin: Congrats man! She said no like 30 times.

Hyuck: Thought you were gonna marry me!?!?

Jaehyun: This shit is so cute it makes me want to vomit.

Parrot: Where's my invitation?

Dolphin: WHY DID THAT EMPLOYEE LOOK SO UNCOMFORTABLEKRKKOFO

Taeyong: "Taeyong will love this idea" .. Taeyong would not love this idea. Trust your girlfriend.

He was too embarrassed to read anything after that

And with his amazing luck, you walk in moments after he puts down his phone

"Hi"

You smile at him softly (you can just tell he's hella embarrassed)

"I'm really sorry about last night, I shouldn't have had so much to drink.."

"Mark, I knew that you'd be a mess by the time we left. It was Hyuck's nineteenth birthday."

"But I was being really pushy, I asked you to marry me like fifty times.."

"I knew you were drunk babe, I planned on dragging you home anyways. I'm not mad."

Mark didn't realize what he was saying until it came out of his mouth

"Would you have said yes if I was sober?"

That question caught you off guard, you were confused by how straight forward he was being.

"Mark, we're nineteen, we haven't even talked about marriage before."

"Yeah, I know. But if I asked, would you say yes?"

"If you asked me to marry you when were bother a bit older, and sober, I don't think anything could stop me from saying yes."

Mark felt his heart swell with happiness

You smiled at him brightly, feeling the same joy he did.

He grabbed your hands and pulled you into a tight hug.

He pulled back slightly and rested his hand on your cheek, looking into your eyes with the most love and passion.

"I love you so, so much, and I cannot wait to marry you.."

end

(i hope yall enjoyed this little scenario i threw together! i had a lot of fun writing it and im hella excited to continue this series of drunk!nct [legal members only of course])

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