#if anyone would like to read it lmk I spent literal hours on this thing

[riotdiva]

How cooked am I. My explanation of the CM Punk and Drew McIntyre lore that I typed out for my friends so their summer slam match makes sense is 20 SCREENSHOTS LONG….

[seraphtrevs]

Hi!

Idk if anyone asked this before, but I really wanna know you opinion on Lalo's tattoo? I thought why they kept it? Is it just because it looks cool or Is it because it fits Lalo? Or no reason behind it all?

I think meaning fits Lalo quite well, but dying to know what do you think!

So this has been sitting in my inbox for months - sorry! 😅 I decided this ask was a great excuse to finally read the Tao Te Ching, which I'd been meaning to do for a long time, so I did that, and then I realized that it will probably take a lifetime to understand it, and maybe it should be less than a lifetime before I answered this ask.

Anyway. I think the real reason they didn't conceal the tattoo was because that would take time and effort better spent elsewhere. It's complete in character for a cartel operative to have a tattoo, so why bother to cover it up?

But that's a boring answer, and I think we can have more fun with it. Because I think you can make a case for this being Lalo's tattoo, not just Tony's. Come, take my hand, and let us indulge in some headcanons~

So let's take a look at it: (I found this on pinterest here, but no artist was credited. If anyone knows who it is, lmk!) ETA - art is by Artmetica - ty @reztruck!

The most prominent aspect is the yin-yang symbol. When he holds his arm palm up, it's staring him straight in the face. That makes it easy for him to look at, maybe as a reminder. So why would Lalo, violent cartel don, get a tattoo of a yin-yang?

My headcanon is that Lalo is a reader. He canonically only gets a couple hours of sleep a night (like - this is literally impossible, but he's kind of an impossible person. maybe it's really a couple more, but let's just say that he gets by on much less sleep than the average joe.) So what's he doing with all that time? There's only so much slithering around you can do in the dead of night. We know he likes to use his quiet time to think, and what better way to come up with stuff to think about than to read?

He's a curious and intelligent person - I'm sure he likes to read on a wide variety of subjects. Maybe when he was a young man, he had some questions about the meaning of it all and went looking for it in books. And maybe he came across a copy of the Tao Te Ching and took it to heart. (Well, not all of it - he is, after all, a violent drug dealer who kills without remorse lol)

I've always attributed Lalo's lack of fear to his psychopathy, which it is for the most part. But psychopathy doesn't entirely explain him, does it? Psychopaths aren't known for their emotional stability, but Lalo rarely loses his cool and seems in a good mood most of the time. It's not that he doesn't ever lose his temper, but he's able to calm down quickly. He's such a go-with-the-flow guy that he even laughed off his own death.

Wu wei is an important concept in Taoism. It's active non-action, or effortless action - instead of forcing your will on the universe, be in tune with it. Go with the flow. And that's pretty much how Lalo operates. Unlike Gus, who has many meticulous plots and never leaves anything up to chance, Lalo jumps in head first and figures things out as he goes. This makes him a good detective - he goes where his leads take him (all the way to Germany sometimes). It also means he's able to adapt quickly to changing circumstances.

For example, when he's spying on the chicken farm in 4x10, he springs into action when he realizes something's up and is almost able to catch Werner. When his house comes under fire in the middle of the night in 5x10, he immediately switches gears and is able to beat a team of assassins single-handedly by going with the flow, effortlessly taking every opportunity as it arises (using the frying pan of hot oil to blind an attacker, using Ciro's body as a shield, doubling back on his attackers to take them by surprise, etc.) When he learns that Gus bugged the phone at the nursing home, he loses his shit for a minute, pulls himself together, and then spots a cockroach, thinks of Jimmy, and he's off on a completely new path, wasting no time second-guessing himself. There's no reason to get too worked up when things don't go your way, because a new way is bound to open itself up to you if you pay attention.

(That's not to say he never plans - for example, he set up his body double in case he ever needed to fake his death. But I think that was probably also a product of wu wei - by random chance he meets a guy who looks a lot like him, and so he thinks "hey this could be useful later.")

So yeah, I definitely think this could be Lalo's tattoo, not just Tony's! It actually explains a lot about his approach to life.

[guckies]

Wouldn't Bad's availability make him the best babysitter? Like he's the one always stepping up to do so when he could be spending his time on the server doing other things. But he likes taking care of eggs (and parents often DO explicitly ask him to babysit on top of this) and has the time to do so. And he does a good job at it. Which,, makes him the best babysitter doesn't it?

Roier hasn't been babysitting multiple eggs in over half a year. He may have been the first to do in the first month of the eggs being around but he never kept up with it (for understandable reason, but it doesn't make him a reliable egg babysitter) and isn't really comparable to Bad. I'm not sure by what metric you are determining babysitters at tbh

This could be about several posts so I’m assuming you’re talking about this post but if not lmk anon (time to break out the read more cause we got a lot to say 😞(this is so fricken long and basically includes all my thoughts on the “bbh is the best babysitter” thing))

I’m not sure if you missed this on the post but anon did speak about the fact that Bad isn’t the first choice for the egg parents.

For foolish, he is sometimes the first choice because he’s aware of how often Bad is online but Foolish rarely asks anyone to babysit because he knows Leo will get on and whoever she’s most comfortable with she will ask to take care of her (and most of the time Leo chooses Roier if he’s online). Then Fit who always makes sure, that he can take care of Ramon; Pomme and Richas have like 6 parents so they just hangout with different people because they don’t need to worry about tasks like the og kids; and then Phil has a myriad of people(Tubbo, Forever, Fit, Niki & ect) he asks to babysit before Bad.

Really the only way Parents ask Bad to take care of their kids is when they know their usual go to babysitters won’t be online or if the egg admin cannot get online early enough to play with the parent or someone else they would typically ask. Like the night the eggs went missing, Leo’s admin could only get on really late (which Foolish couldn’t predict because he spent all day waiting for her) when only really 2-3 people are typically online so Bad and Tubbo took care of her because they were the only ones left online and Foolish couldn’t get back on again because of preplanned stream content with friends that he can’t just drop suddenly.

Sorry this might sound a bit blunt but not all of qsmp members are strictly minecraft streamers. Some of them are variety content creators and have lives outside of the qsmp so therefore cannot spend 6-12 hours everyday playing qsmp. (This isn’t saying Bad or tubbo don’t have a life but the others clearly have more strict boundaries of how long they will “work” for ie Phil rarely plays over 6 hours because it’s will end up being 2am for him or cellbit who doesn’t stream on mondays or Tuesdays )

Lowkey though I’m sick of using the term best babysitter because it doesn’t mean anything past just being an available babysitter cause literally anyone can do the tasks. So I am going to stop using it when talking about this. But when people are using this term to make Bad seem like this great person on qsmp is a bit wild. Cause saying he is “good at babysitting” or the “best babysitter” is kinda of like saying he’s the best parent which is discrediting the effort other parents genuinely put in for their egg children. Although y’all may not mean it directly like that, it is what y’all are saying cause babysitting really only involves doing the tasks, keeping the child alive and hanging out with them which is what the parent also have to do.

Like some bbh defenders will talk about bad being available to babysit as if he’s the only single parent and he’s working 3 part time jobs on top of this which he isn’t. He and Dapper just have more free time to play on the server and he doesn’t struggle with egg tasks cause of this. Like when he babysits he does the tasks and then hangs out with the eggs like everyone else would. That doesn’t make him the greatest babysitter alive it just makes him a decent person like everyone else on the qsmp who has and would do the tasks for any egg.

So when y’all say bbh is the best babysitter you are kind of blurring the lines between actually meaning babysitter and really saying he’s the best parent. Which is a stupid thing to argue cause none of them are the best, they are all just trying their hardest to keep their child that they love and care for alive.

Also I was talking about Roier mainly in the past since I’ve only really compared him and Bad babysitting Leo. But what I’m trying to point out is the inaccuracies when people talk about Bad babysitting. Like saying that Bad’s the only one that does it or that he’s the best because he gets on with all the eggs. When literally everyone gets on with the eggs and Roier who has done babysitting exactly like Bad has. Also Roier is still active on the server and babysits Leo & Richas (although it’s more Richas and Roier hanging out). I could say the same for Tubbo who took care of Chayanne and Tallulah for a week or the odd time Foolish or Baghera pick up an extra egg when taking care of their own egg. But I choose Roier because his experiences babysitting from the past are incredibly similar to Bad’s. Although I could argue about how it is different because the eggs that Bad does babysit are very independent now and he only has to do the tasks while the eggs roier took care of back then were way more dependent and needed constant supervision but I won’t because that’s useless.

Plus part of my argument about all this is that the eggs being babysat is completely dependent on who the egg is most comfortable with, who is online and who is with the parent that has to leave; which again isn’t always Bad.

So no I don’t think Bad is the “best babysitter” because any “sacrifices” bad puts in for the eggs are his own free will/doing. Anyone could do the same as him but the only reason he can make those “sacrifices” is because he has way more free time then anyone else on the server apart from tubbo so it’s an unfair judgement. Plus there really shouldn’t be the best of anything on the qsmp cause when y’all argue about there being a best of anything, it just puts down the other members who do honestly try their hardest when doing anything on the server.

If y’all wanna talk about the worst of everything but playing the villain, I could make a post about Quackity (/j!!)

[bunnykawa]

what are you doing, step bro? (sakusa x f. reader)

summary: To your parents, Sakusa was the greatest son. To you, he was the best big brother you could’ve ever asked for, but you could only find that out with a little force.

a/n: i literally just started college so i won't have much time to write but i have some stories in my drafts that'll be posted in awhile lol. should i open requests for haikyuu drabbles since they're short but still entertaining?? idek i feel like no one is reading this rn LOL but if anyone is reading this, lmk ;)

(edit: I HAD TO REPOST THIS CS IT WASNT SHOWING UP IN TAGS so sorry if you already liked this post)

warnings: 18+, incest, mentions of drugging,  mentions of somnophilia, mentions of parental neglect, noncon/dubcon/rape, sakusa is a dirty pervert i just don’t know how else to tag this, degradation, slight manipulation

"(Y/N), this is your new big brother, Kiyoomi," your mother said, holding tightly onto your small shoulders as you stood in front of her.

"You can refer to him as your nii-san from now on." Locking eyes with you was an older boy with long black wavy hair, two moles on the right side of his forehead, and a white face mask on the lower half of his face which blocked his nose and mouth. How odd, you thought. You could tell he was disinterested with how his eyes were blank as he stared at you.

That was the first time meeting your step brother, Sakusa Kiyoomi.

Being four years younger than Sakusa, you two never really got along. Of course you had to respect each other, but there was nothing to really talk about other than when his volleyball games were or unfulfilling small talks. Sometimes he would make snide remarks, asking if you even showered when your hair was only slightly messy or if a smart word ever came out of your mouth when you stumbled over your words. Sometimes he was just mean to you in general to the point where you would cry. You always tried to ignore it, though. That was when you were younger. You couldn’t help that you weren’t that smart and he was your nii-san after all. Your parents would brush it off.

You celebrated his victories together, only because you had to. I mean, you were the younger sister of one of the nation's top three aces in high school volleyball. There was no way your parents wouldn't celebrate. He was their pride and joy.

Smart, athletic, incredibly attractive — everything you felt like you could never live up to.

Your own biological mom so obviously and painfully liked him more than you.

Before you even entered high school, Sakusa was old enough to move out and go to college where he continued to play volleyball. When he visited during the holidays, you still wouldn't have decent conversations with him. He would still insult you. It even made you cringe when you had to call him nii-san. Why address him as your older brother when he didn't even act like it?

But you dealt with it because you had to.

Fresh out of Itachiyama Academy, you're focused on studying for entrance exams for colleges in your area rather than what would happen if you ever had to see Sakusa again. But, you were expecting to see him very soon.

Gentle knocks are heard from outside your door and before you can respond, your mom is already opening it.

"(Y/N), Omi is coming today and he's gonna be here for a week. I have to go to the grocery store to buy food and I'm gonna run other errands so it's gonna take awhile," she says, leaning her head into your room. You respond multiple times with "okay" so she can leave your room sooner.

Textbooks and notebooks are strewn across your bed with you on your stomach, trying to cram as much information in your head as possible.

"That means I might not be here in time for when he comes, so you have to open the door and greet him," she adds.

"What about dad?" you ask with a grimace. The most you would do is say hello and scurry back into your room.

She rolls her eyes at you. "He's working late again. You know that, (Y/N)." With a sigh, you agree and she finally leaves your room after bidding you a "goodbye."

You can't remember the last time you saw Sakusa, but it was probably almost half a year ago. Ever since he left for college, your parents were even more distant towards you. They probably felt like they didn't need to worry about you because you weren't doing anything important.

When Sakusa came over, he barely acknowledged you and you were okay with that because it meant he wouldn't be bothering you.

But that didn't mean his blank stare wouldn't catch your attention whenever you came out of your room to eat or use the restroom. The atmosphere felt...very odd around him. You couldn't necessarily come up with a reason why.

Suddenly, you hear knocking on the front door. It had to be at least an hour or two since your mom left and the thought of who was waiting at the door made your stomach churn.

"Nii-san is here," you mutter to yourself as you got up to open the door. Right as you open the door, Sakusa was staring down at you with the same blankness in his eyes from before with his usual face mask. His hair was shorter than you remember.

Mindlessly, his eyes seem to scan your body before returning to your face, making you feel self-conscious. You were only wearing black spandex shorts and a loose tank top. Subconsciously, you rub your arm and step back to make space.

"(Y/N)," Sakusa acknowledges you in a deadpan voice. It's no surprise to you.

"Hi, onii-san. How are you?" You try so hard to be polite, but Sakusa seemed to have a naturally dominant energy that overwhelmed your senses, even if he also seemed to have the personality of a jar of mayonnaise. You step aside so he can come in. He wore gray sweatpants and a black windbreaker that was zipped up all the way. As soon as he makes it inside, he removes his face mask, stuffs it in his pocket, and starts unzipping his jacket.

"I'm good," he hums, "Where's mom?" He places the backpack he was carrying on the couch and takes a seat as you close the door.

"She's out doing errands and dad is working. Do you want some tea?"

"Yes, please. Make sure you wash your hands before you do. Thank you," he said. You walk into the kitchen, muttering "germaphobe" under your breath at his extra request. Unbeknownst to you, he watched you from his place on the couch as you walked around the kitchen, pulling the tea kettle out of one of the bottom cabinets and looking for cups. His gaze followed the outline of your ass in those tiny shorts that hugged your bottom tightly.

"What college are you planning on going to, (Y/N)?"

"I'm not sure yet, but I'm applying to the college you're going to and three others," you replied from your spot near the counter.

Sakusa actually perks up at your answer. "Oh, cool. You'll love it there if you get in. Only if, though. You're not the brightest."

You couldn't help but let your face fall in a frown at his seemingly small comment. Quickly, you compose yourself and brush off his remark. You got the water boiling in the tea kettle and reached high for the teacups that were sitting on the top cabinets. Your stepdad definitely put them up there.

A presence looms close behind you, which makes your whole body automatically freeze and tense up. A veiny, bulky arm reaches up easily to grab the teacups while another one snakes around you to pull your tank top down as it was exposing your stomach. You're not sure if you're imagining it, but you definitely feel something stiff brushing up against your back.

"You need to be careful. Don't wanna hurt yourself, do you?" Sakusa commented, leaning forward so his mouth was right next to your ear. A blush found its way onto your cheeks from feeling him so close to you.

He usually hated being so close to people. What was so different today?

"R-right," you stuttered, "Thank you, nii-san."

Confrontation wasn't a strong trait of yours.

You guess that moment was when it started getting really weird between you two. You still had small talks from whenever he would actually see you come out of your room, but you wanted to avoid him as much as you could. However, that was hard when Sakusa insisted that you drank tea together every night and, of course, your parents insisted, too.

Your nii-san wants to spend more time with you, they would say excitedly. Better late than never!

Maybe if he was showing the slightest bit of interest in you, your parents would finally care about you. So, with much hesitation, you started drinking tea with your step brother every night. Sakusa even made the tea himself so his poor little sister wouldn't tire herself out with carrying that heavy teapot.

You're still not sure if you're imagining things, but the tea tasted different from how you made it. And you swear that the tea didn't make you so sleepy after drinking it until he started making it.

"Come here," Sakusa would say with a smirk, "Onii-san will take you to bed."

You would pass out before you even made it to bed, but every morning you woke up with sticky thighs, only blaming it on sweating while you were sleeping.

Until one day, you didn't drink all the tea that he made you. You still fell asleep, though. Your brain was hazy enough to make you lose consciousness as he helped you up from your seat in the kitchen.

Sakusa laid next to you on your bed. You were placed on your side so he could slide under the sheets right behind you to press his hardened length against your ass. This was his favorite part of the night. He spent a few minutes playing with your cunt to make it slick enough for him to let his cock break through your walls.

You barely stirred awake. Didn't even move an inch as he caressed every part of your body, from your soft nipples to the sensitive nub between your thighs.

He pushed the elastic of his sweatpants down to his thighs quickly. His cock hit your ass before settling between your folds. A satisfied moan leaves his lips when he feels your wetness coating the top part of his shaft as he rubbed it against you. He hooked his arm around one of your legs so that you were spread open enough for him to fuck you and rub your clit at the same time with his other hand.

He wanted that sweet nectar completely coating his dick. He remembers the way you tasted and how you came on his tongue the night before, despite being blacked out from the little pills he would dissolve in your drinks. You tasted so clean and smelled so fresh. It was impossible for your nii-san to control himself around you.

And when did your ass look so good? God...Sakusa couldn't believe he never noticed how cute and well-shaped you were. You weren't that little girl he met when you were both kids. You were pushing adulthood now. Still pathetic looking, still too shy, still small around him, but fuck, he definitely would have pushed you over the counter the first day he came over and fucked you until you were crying and gagging.

He continued rubbing circles onto your clit and letting his cock soak up your juices. Gently, he positions the tip at your entrances and pushes in slowly.

"There you go," he whispers in your ear, "I know it's a little big. Don't worry."

He manages to fill you up all the way, making him groan. Your walls were tight around him. He thrusts in and out of you carefully, salvaging the feeling of your slick interior.

But you didn't drink all the tea, which means that you could wake up earlier than he expected.

Sakusa didn't expect you to wake up now.

You stirred slightly as you regained consciousness. Although your eyelids were heavy, you tried to force them open only to be met with darkness.

"Mmm," you croaked, rubbing your eyes. The odd feeling of being filled up suddenly made you wake up more. "W-what's going on?"

"Fuck," Sakusa muttered from behind you. You felt a hard chest pressed against your back and...a hand on your pussy. No, something inside your pussy. And that voice was so familiar.

You quickly whip your head around when the realization dawns on you. What the fuck is happening? While your eyes adjust to the dark room, you see two familiar eyes staring straight back at you. He stopped grinding his hips against you for a moment as if time stopped.

"...Nii-san?" you hesitated. His breathing was heavy and he stayed silent.

"Nii-san, what are you doing?" you asked in a panicked voice. You quickly tried to get up from your position, only to be held down by Sakusa’s muscular arms. His hand wrapped itself over your lips to prevent you from screaming.

“Be a good girl and stay quiet, (Y/N),” he whispered. A muffled scream tries to escape your lips. He continued to fuck you slowly, leaving a burning feeling in your walls. The same sore feeling that you would sometimes wake up to within the past few days.

For a moment, you pry his fingers off of your mouth. "I don't understand...Why are you...?" You yelped in surprise, horror, and pleasure as he delivered a sharp thrust from behind you. The smack of his hips against your bare ass made you cringe and feel so disgusted with yourself. Nii-san is actually inside me.

"My poor little sister," he chucked darkly. He suddenly wraps his arm around your knee tighter and forces your legs wide open, your knee almost touching your chest. Instead of putting his hand over your mouth to shut you up, he kneads your breast. His hands were so large.

"You think you can walk around the house looking like a little slut in those tiny shorts?" He stretches you open with his hard cock with slow, yet hard, thrusts. It left your mouth agape, but no sounds left your throat except for small squeaks that you couldn't hold back. "You stupid bitch. Just as dumb as I could remember. Fuck, you don't know how much I wanted to bend you over and fill you up with my cum like the stupid, desperate slut you are."

He was satisfied as you were barely fighting him. All you did was desperately search for something to hold onto and bite your lip because you were so scared. His words were painful. "Look at you. A waste of fucking space, only good as a fuck hole. Didn't even realize she was getting drugged and getting fucked every night because she's so fucking stupid."

Weak. That was all your brain was telling you, mocking you, as Sakusa didn't stop moving against you and insulting you. This wasn't the first time. It just so happened that this time you were able to wake up.

"I-I..." you stuttered, "I'll...I'll tell mom and dad." The sheets were gripped tightly between your fingers. "I'll tell them- mmmm...what nii-san has been doing to me..."

"If you tell mom and dad, they wouldn't even care," Sakusa said in a patronizing tone. The way his hand was caressing you made you wanna cry.

“They would!”

"Mom and dad don't even treat you like a daughter, (Y/N). When was the last time they told you they loved you?" Even if his question was rhetorical, your mind went completely blank. You can't recall a moment where they ever told you they loved you.

"B-but, this isn't right! You're not supposed to be doing this," you argued. It was a surprise that your mind wasn't completely clouded by how big his cock was and how his thrusts felt almost hateful.

"You think they would choose your side? You'd be ruining your own life. Maybe you'd ruin mine. And it'd be. All. Your. Fault." With each syllable, his movements became sharper. "You don't wanna betray your nii-san by saying something, do you?"

"You love your nii-san, right?"

You do. You love him so much, even if you tried to avoid him and he never said a single good thing to you in your whole damn life.

Because you have to love him.

You stopped gripping on the sheets to the point where your knuckles were turning ghostly white to brush away the tears rolling down your cheeks. Your body shook, from both crying because of Sakusa's painful words and how hard he was fucking you. The pleasure building up in your core was overwhelming you, making that intense feeling of having to pee forced out of you.

Hearing your sniffles and small cries, Sakusa pulls you even tighter against him, but doesn't stop his relentless thrusting. It turned him on even more. He pushes your hand to brush away your tears for you, like good big brothers should.

"It's okay, (Y/N). We both know mom and dad don't love you."

A loud cry erupted from your chest. Maybe if your parents cared about you, they'd be running to your room to save you the second you started crying. But, no. Sakusa was basking in the fact that you were hurting on the inside. After years of negligent silence, you were finally letting it all out.

"But nii-san loves you," he said with a smile.

Although his words seemed to stun your entire being, you manage to choke out a "What?" Like it was the first time someone ever told you that they love you.

His torturous thrusts almost distracted you. Fuck, why did it feel so good to have your step brother fucking you on your side like this?

"I love you." He sweetly grabs your face so you can turn your head to look at him. There was a pounding in your ears coming straight from your chest. A warm feeling spreads throughout your stomach.

"You...you love me, nii-san?"

"Of course I do." He was actually smiling at you, "If I didn't, would I be inside you right now?"

His face didn't seem so blank anymore. Sakusa never ever smiled at you. Hell, he never really smiled in general. Someone actually loved you. Holy shit. And he was even pounding away at your insides like you were a fuck doll.

Is that why he's so mean? Was he just trying to hide his feelings for you this whole time? You could die laughing right now. His cock felt so damn good rearranging your guts against your will yet you were struggling to accept it.

Your cheeks naturally puffed up in happiness as you smiled so brightly at him. The flip switched in your brain so easily. Without another word, Sakusa kissed you passionately, because he knew you would let him continue to ravage your body. Your hips began to buck from the pressure building up in your lower half and you starting pushing your hips towards him, welcoming his length inside you. It felt like you needed more of him. More of his love.

Love me.

"Nii-san," you gasped against his lips. His movements never faltered, which you figured was from his amazing athletic ability and stamina.

"Be a good little sister and cum on my cock," he coaxed. He could tell you were so close to cumming from how tightly your precious cunt was hugging his length and how you were squirming against him. You were both slick with sweat. As you started squirming more violently against him, Sakusa tightened his grip on you.

“I’m gonna cum,” you whined desperately, “Nii-san, I’m gonna cum!” You grabbed his arms and pushed your fingernails into his skin, making him hiss from the sudden pain. With a firm grip over your mouth, he muffles your screams. Satisfaction settled in your stomach as you exploded all over his cock. Your sweet juices trailed down your thighs onto the bedsheets.

As much as Sakusa wanted to, he couldn’t fill up your insides and see your hole dripping with his cum just yet. He quickly pulls out of you and lets his seed shoot onto the bare skin of your ass. The shock of your orgasm left your thighs trembling, your skin wet, and your eyes drooping.

“You’re the best little sister.”

You would’ve replied, but you could barely form any words as you lost consciousness again. When you woke up the next morning, you were fully dressed and cleaned up, with no stickiness between your thighs like how you used to wake up.

Sakusa actually cleaned you up this time. You felt your heart melt and butterflies fluttering in your stomach.

Everything seemed to go back to normal between you two, with the same small talks and not really seeing each other often, but he always had a knowing smirk on his face whenever he saw you.

Whenever his eyes would trail up your body to meet yours, you could feel a warmth in your stomach spread all throughout your body which forced you to look away quickly. Whenever he insulted you, you would feel your thighs press together. Whenever you caught yourself admiring his features when he replaced his face mask for a new one, you smiled softly to yourself.

When it was time for him to leave, you couldn’t help but let a few tears shed. He was all set to go, with his backpack on and his mask covering his face.

“Hey, don’t cry, (Y/N),” he cooed, wiping your tears away, “You know I won’t be gone forever.”

You sniffled, “I know. I just hate being here alone.” Well, not necessarily alone. You just hated being ignored and neglected just because you weren’t your brother.

“If you manage to get into my college, you can move in with me. How does that sound?” You instantly perk up and dry your tears with your shirt.

"Really?!” you asked with excitement. You imagine all the things you could do with your nii-san without your parents in the picture. You could go out together, hold hands, share kisses, just about anything. He could even fuck you whenever he wants.

These thoughts about your own step brother would've made you feel sick before.

But that was before you knew Sakusa loved you. Now, you couldn't help but ask your mom when the next time your nii-san would be coming to visit. While you were waiting for his next visit, you studied hard.

College would be so much fun with your nii-san with you!

Part 2

[mrstaeminlee]

Mission Complete Ch 2

You had two goals in life. One: Complete your squad training without dying. Two: Fuck Levi Ackerman

Pairings: Levi/f!reader

Warnings: Swearing, eventual smut, lmk if I need to add anything~

Seven months later

Training under Captain Levi was a bitch. Rewarding as hell, but a fucking bitch. To make it worse, your time with the man was making your seemingly one sided thirst turn itself into something more, which you were absolutely unprepared for. It almost made you miss your training under the commendant, nasty death breath be damned.

You found that while it certainly drove you to your physical and mental limits, you genuinely liked the man you had spent the past few months trying to impress, even if he made your life a living hell by constantly asking more of you than he did any of the other prospective additions to his prestigious team. Wondering why, you briefly entertained the thought that maybe he held some sort of physical or emotional attraction towards you, but as you reflected on your interactions with the captain the past seven months you couldn't pinpoint anything that would be considered fanfiction worthy. There had been no lingering touches, no longing gazes from across the training grounds, not even so much as a wanting glance at your breasts that you tried so desperately to flaunt as naturally as possible when he would observe you all sparring. No, all you had to show for the past 212 days was having your face slammed into the dirt more times than you cared to count and an intimate connection with somehow always getting punished to deep clean the mess hall.

When some squad member whose name you couldn't be bothered to remember dropped by to give you a notice to be on the training grounds three hours earlier than normal, your best guess was that you had found some way to fuck something up without realizing and you would get to clean that fucking hall - again.

Unable to sleep for more than a few hours, you decided to forget trying to sleep, and a couple of orgasms courtesy of your well used friend later you decided to say fuck it, and got out of bed, grabbing your things to shower and get ready for the day even though not even the fucking sun had decided to grace the compound with it's presence. After cleaning yourself up and making sure all of your straps were secure you made your way to the training grounds, making a side trip to steal a thick chunk of bread and some cheese for your breakfast. With still a half hour to spare before the time you were supposed to be on the grounds by, you took your time making your way there, appreciating the empty halls and the quiet. Between training, having roommates, and a shared mealtime, quiet wasn't really something you got to experience anymore. Even your showers were normally noisy since private shower stalls appeared to be out of the military budget. Figures, a government run by men, you bet they thought about you hot female scouts showering together all the time. You took in the smell of the early morning air and took a hearty bite of the bread, shoving the thought of perverted and corrupt old men out of your mind and grabbed your water bottle to wash it down as you made your way across. Deciding you'd had enough sightseeing of the place you had literally spent over half a year you decided to just wait for whoever was supposed to meet you and you quickened your pace to get to the training field, chomping down the last of your breakfast.

After you arrived and had verified no one else was there you plopped down angrily onto a grassy area, figuring at least one other person should be there by now. Looking back, you didn't recall anyone else receiving any type of notice after dinner. You groaned loudly, running your fingers through your still damp hair. "Mother fucker, if one of those fucking fucks tricked me into waking up early I swear to-"

"You have quite the mouth on you, don't you Scout? I don't recall hearing you speak like that even after getting pounded into the ground by Reiner."

Choking on your spit from surprise and also wondering why the fuck he decided he had to word it like that you sprung to your feet, turning around and forming a proper salute. Oh Jesus.

"I-I'm sorry sir, I thought for a moment that someone had pranked me. I won't swear like that again, sir!" I swear to God if you make me clean the mess hall one more time I'll-

Levi smirked.

Holy shit.

"Relax, Scout, we both know you're lying about that. I'm the one that sent the notice for you, did you even bother noticing my signature at the bottom?" He questioned, raising an eyebrow and crossing his arms over those deliciously strong chest muscles.

Your eyes widened. To be honest, all you had seen on the notice was the time and place to be, you hadn't even thought of looking to see who had sent it. "You...you sent for me, sir?" Your confused tone seemed to amuse him, if his cocked eyebrow was anything to go by.

"Yes, you dumbass brat. You need to start reading things thoroughly," he frowned then, "I didn't take you as the type to be so thoughtless. Now, do you have any idea why I would have sent for you so early?"

Because clearly if you don't get to sleep none of us fucking do.

"No sir!"

"Put down the fucking salute, Scout, it's just you and me here."

You obeyed immediately, shifting into a more relaxed stance as you crossed your arms under your chest. You were almost positive you imagined him glancing down for the briefest of seconds but just as quickly brushed off the thought. You could only be so lucky; this wasn't some badly written fanfiction, after all. "No offense Captain, but I have no idea why I'm here. Did I do something to piss someone off? Did I piss YOU off?"

Levi rolled his eyes. "No. I want you-"

Holy FUCK-

"-to join my squad."

Oh.

Was it the moment you'd been training for for almost 3 years?

Yes.

Was it something you ever thought would happen?

Not quite.

Were you a little (okay, a significant amount of) disappointed when he continued to speak after the word 'you'?

Absolutely.

You grinned anyway.

"I thought you'd never ask, Cap."

Tags: @levisbebe @dannylothbrok

[vegalocity]

Peachtea/TripSun angst idea. Nobody knew Wukong would disappear for 500 years so they're mourning until Xiaotian starts training with him. Tang composes himself to wait a little longer but Wukong just ignores all the signs. Until he gets into an argument with Tang and Tang ends up snapping "Why did you disappear for 500 years?!"

Okay so here’s the thing, I can only get behind the whole ‘The other Pilgrims ALL thought Wukong was dead and are PISSED at him now’ stuff, only, and I mean ONLY if Wukong either thought they all didn’t want to hear from him again anyway, or if he thought they were dead too.

....I mean my only contributions to all those ‘Reunion with Baije and Wujing’ posts were both ‘Wukong thought they were dead too’ so CLEARLY thats my read on the whole thing. I sincerely can’t see him just... NOT telling people he cared that much about that he was gonna bounce for that long to be alone on FFM, so if he knew they were alive he would have told them. 

And then you know someone spotted that little shrine with the origami figures in the Special and I was there like:

 So like, lets do something we’ll both enjoy here then because all of those reunion fics are almost exclusively centered around the trio, and we oh so rarely see Sanzang (whether he is Tang or not) get involved. 

So like first off, assuming LMK is on a sci fi alternate earth instead of being in the future, there’s still a solid nine hundred or so years between the end of the Pilgrimage and the supposed time Wukong disappeared for Monkie Kid timeline (JTTW is set in like the 600s or so if i remember correctly, might be wrong about the exacts tho) so lets assume those nine hundred years were uneventful.

So yeah, idk the hows, the hows don’t matter. What DOES matter is Wukong somehow loses contact with the others and is somehow convinced they were all killed, had his last stand against DBK and then went off travelling for a century to come to terms with his brothers and his precious, darling, beloved Master all perishing due to his inability to protect them.

and meanwhile for the others he was just... GONE. Like he’d vanished off the face of the earth, And the last the three of them ever saw of him was the staff rooted into the mountain that now kept the Bull King below. Just in case maybe the tree of them would periodically head off to Flower Fruit Mountain and check in with the monkeys that could still talk, but after about a century it was clear. If he WAS still alive, he wasn’t coming back. And the idea that he’d purposefully leave all of them behind just for the hope that he WAS still alive would do his memory a disservice. 

So when Wukong returns to FFM wouldn’t it be great if he like, JUST missed that last visit? Like DAYS after Sanzang, Baije and Wujing had been there for the final time to hold an impromptu funeral for their dead friend on his homeland and finally accept that he was gone, Wukong returns to the mountain and builds his little shrine for his dead friends... the Monkeys all look at eachother awkwardly and shrug, assuming this will be settled soon enough, surely it’ll be solved before too long.

And then another 400 years of kingly depression naps and the others falling in and out of contact with eachother as they adapt to the ever changing world around them later, Xiaotian snatches the staff from the bull family.

And... Look... It’s been a ROUGH 500 years on Sanzang now called simply Tang. He’d only recently tracked down Baije-now-called-Pigsy in the past... what Ten years? and was only tangentially aware of what Wujing-now-called-Sandy was up to. And... Look... LOOK. It’s ridiculous that he’s still hung up over losing Wukong as much as he is. He’s Well FUCKING aware it’s ridiculous. He should know better, he quite LITERALLY reached immortality through enlightenment. He KNOWS he should know better. 

So why-... Why can’t he say his real name without his gut still twisting into knots? He still tells the stories because telling them behind a wall of detachment, pretending he wasn’t there on the action for most of them helps in some small way, but why does he have to always call him ‘the Monkey King’? What a question, he knows why. He gave his heart away when he was still mortal, and so mortal his heart will forever stay. Dead and returned to the stone with the impulsive monkey he’d given it to.

And then It’s not dead. Because he’s not dead. and honestly at first it’s just shock, it’s just reeling with the sheer tidal wave of feelings he had to spend hours meditating just to sort through. The three of them meet up after Xiaotian and Xiaojiao have turned in for the night to discuss what the FUCK just happened, and all three of them come away with different conclusions. 

Baije is furious and will refuse to seek out Wukong unless its to tell him off for letting the three of them belive him dead, Wujing is sad and would like to see Wukong again to simply ask why he’d decided to cut the three of them out of his life like that, but doesn’t want to do it alone. And he’s...conflicted.

He wants this to be a joyous discovery. he wants to be so relieved and euphoric at his monkey still being there, having ALWAYS been there, that he wouldn’t be able to stop smiling for days on end. But he can’t. It’s all so... messy inside and he’s going to need to keep his distance if he wants to be able to approach Wukong with a level head. This was why attachments such as these were foolish he should have known better all those years ago but it was centuries too late now, and this confliction is what he has to suffer through as the result... wanting to laugh and cry and scream all at once because Wukong is ALIVE, he’d spent SO long in mourning for him, and HOW DARE HE ignore them all and let them assume the worst?!

So he hides behind that Scholar Tang persona while he sorts through his emotions. And it works for the most part. 

And then New Years happens.

And... Look, Wukong’s been THROUGH it in the last 500 years. He’s done everything he could to just... GET OVER the loss of his love His Master and His brothers. he went through all the damn stages of grief, 

Spent that first decade in denial poking around everywhere he could to see if any of them-ANY of them were in hiding somewhere, spent another three decades wandering the world and starting fights with other cultures divine warriors (and that Aphrodite chick was DEFINITELY hitting on him the entire time, extolling about how rarely she got to use her ‘Aria form’ whatever that meant) to work through his rage without actually getting himself in trouble with his own heavenly court. Spent another twenty years or so looking through as many underworlds as he could find, no matter how many of them really wanted to test just HOW immortal he was (Answer: Too Immortal for any of them) to see if ANYONE had anything he could work with, and always coming up empty. eventually crossed the ocean to the other landmass because he was tired of looking at all of these places and seeing either memories or wasted time looking for bargaining chips, and spent a decade or so deciding he hated Mexico and went back to China. and then spent another thirty years just procrastinating returning home to his mountain.

When he returns to flower fruit mountain its as though he’d never left. His monkeys greet him with excitement but he’s standing on the shores of his home he hasn’t seen in a century and... feels nothing. Like his ability to feel anything for anything beyond the people he’s lost is gone. He makes a little shrine that spends most of its time on a shelf that's difficult to be able to look at full on without craning your neck weirdly and if any of his subjects notice that he takes a bit too much care in folding the little paper figure of the monk as he sets the four figures up along the edge of the little thing none of them judge him over it. He’s rarely got the energy for tears anymore, but when he does it’s usually when that little figure catches his eye.

By the time Xiaotian crashes into his life he’s... getting better. At least he thinks he is. having the loud excitable boy in his life is helping chase the shadows away a little bit (though when they return oh how they scream) and he hears some stories of his friends on training days and... geez sometimes he’ll tell this or that story and Wukong will be so THOUROUGHLY reminded of someone that it just... hurts.

And then New Years happens.

And he finally sees him again -- And he finally meets Xiaotian’s friends

And he still doesn’t know how to feel it’s all SO MUCH -- And they feel familiar so he gives them all a quick glance with golden eyes

And he can only do the one thing that feels safe right now -- And oh... that makes sense. How lucky they all found eachother again after reincarnating.

Sanzang hides behind the Tang persona and lies with an energy that could only be harvested from the sheer maelstrom of emotions fighting for dominance -- and Wukong leaves before he says something incriminating because now he knows and he can’t Un-know.

He should have known better but its centuries too late. And it doesn’t even matter that he doesn’t know how to feel about this whole thing he HAS to keep seeing him, he can NOT let him vanish again -- This was a mistake, this was a mistake, he cannot face them all and see lack of recognition, he cannot have his brothers treating him only as Xiaotian’s mentor he can NOT handle looking at him and seeing a stranger.

He needs to at least TALK to him -- He can’t stay away

Wukong doesn’t start out hanging out at the Noodle Shop on down time, that’d be too much too quick, especially since Baije-.. Since Pigsy is clearly still pretty steamed for the whole ‘letting Xiaotian into the world of magic and monsters’ stuff. But he’ll often shapeshift and keep an eye on things like that... No he is NOT eavesdropping on the reincarnations of those three out of the ridiculous desperate desire to feel close to them again. Because he’d rather just love him miss them from afar than be treated as a stranger.

But of course Tang notices when he does. Every time. And every time he wants to say something but his throat feels too tight. That first day he’d fallen on the persona because it was all he felt he COULD do but now the very idea that he’d have to pretend to be someone else just to be able to speak to his monkey not his not anymore Him was completely out of the question. Tang’s actually surprised with himself the first time he finds his voice. 

The conversations come quickly, neither of them quite content to ignore the other now that its become obvious. The conversations are mostly stilted, awkward. Wukong seems both unable to help himself from talking to him, but unwilling to LOOK at him. Tang’s best guess is that he somehow doesn’t recognize him, Had he really changed that much in the time they’d been apart? Had he really lost so much affection for his old master that he could no longer recognize him beneath a slight change in appearance? That might be the reason the Hurt finally starts to win in the eternal standoff between Joy and Sorrow in how this whole thing makes him feel. 

And maybe it’s something simple, maybe Wukong is just barely starting to lower his guard a bit. Maybe just sharing a space with the man who once was the love of his life his master was finally starting to chalk over the rough edges his long since broken heart would constantly stab into him with. and he just SAYS something. Something probably innocuous, something he’d said a million times on the Journey alone. And to Tang it just... feels like he’s mocking him, like he’d known this whole time and had just been playing with his emotions in a way he wouldn’t have tolerated back then- so why should he tolerate it now?

 And the first words out of his own mouth are “Bad Monkey!” and Wukong freezes as Tang begins to lecture him

How he’d spent a solid third of his time immortal in mourning over him, how he’d been the one to tell Baije and Wujing that it would be a disgrace to his memory to believe him alive and instead that he’d chosen to cut the lot of them out of his life, despite how much HE’D wanted to believe it too. How hurt he was to find out that not only he HAD been ignoring them for so long but also that he’d apparently had apparently not even recognized any of them when they HAD all seen each other again! How much he’d missed him, how happy he’d still been to see him again. 

Yes, yes, pathetic, emotional baldy always bursting into tears at the simplest of things nothing’s changed etcetera etcetera- He hadn’t been lying on new years when he said he had a million questions, but all he really wanted to know was why? Why did he cut them out of his life, why did he shut HIM out? Why did you disappear for 500 years Wukong?

And Wukong reaches out, his hand is- shaking? and removes the glasses from right off his face--normal glass obviously, Baije had insisted they completed the scholarly look and annoyed him into compliance--

“You’re-” he hesitates, looks, almost afraid? “You’re not a reincarnation..?”

Oh... 

Well now they both looked the part of fools.

Two sobbing fools clutching to eachother in the alleyway behind Pigsy’s shop, and oh MAN did they have some things to talk about, because Wukong was DEFINITELY coming back with him to his apartment for the night and then first thing in the morning he was going to visit his brothers to internalize that THEY weren’t reincarnations either and then he was going to have to explain where he’d been for that first century while they were all still looking for him to THEM too. 

And yes he should have known better than to get attached to him in this way in the first place, it was disgraceful, the sheer misery it had brought alone was proof enough of that. But Wukong was nuzzling into his shoulder, and pressing those strange feeling monkey kisses across his cheeks and jaw,  and his breath was hitching with pure relief and joy and it was for him-

And fuck it, he just didn’t care. 

[kcrinas]

hi  sexies  !   i’m  dani  (  she/her  )  ,  21  &  i’m  from  the  gta  aka  ur  messy  canadian  wassup  🤠  thank  u  guys  sm  for  applying  all  ur  muses  are  so  beautiful  &  im  sm  in  love  already  !  i  rly  wanna  plot  w  every  single  one  of  u  so  pls  give  this  a  like  for  permission  for  me  2  come  bug  u  for  plots  !  🖤  karina’s  info  &  wanted  connections  r  under  the  cut  !

karina maji was spotted in the fashion district adorning gucci leather ankle boots , with some airpod pros on . they’re most likely listening to don’t stop by meg thee stallion . you may know them as @karina or as that mishti rahman lookalike . their  twenty - fourth  birthday just passed . while living in tribeca , they’ve gained a bit of a reputation . they’re known to be tenacious but on the other hand quixotic . wonder if they’ll be the next person to hit the headlines .  (   cisfemale / she/her + dani / 21 / she/her  )

             *     𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐜𝐬  :

full  name  :  karina aarvi maji  .

nicknames  :  kar  ,  rina  ,  maji

age  :  twenty  -  four  .

gender  :  cisfemale  ,  she/her  .

sexual  orientation  :  pansexual  .

hometown  :  chicago , illinois   .

occupation  :  professional  mma  fighter  /  instagram  model  .

zodiac  chart  :   aquarius  sun  ,  gemini  moon  ,  scorpio  rising  .

character  inspo  : alicia mendez (  kingdom )  ,  cristina yang (  grey’s anatomy )  ,  princess jasmine (  aladdin ��)  ,  megara (  hercules  )  ,  alyssa  (  the  end  of  the  f*cking  world  )  ,  kat  stratford  (  10  things  i  hate  about  you  )

                  *  𝐛𝐢𝐨𝐠𝐫𝐚𝐩𝐡𝐲  :

                                tw  :   death  ,  accident  ,  drugs  .  

karina’s  life  began  in  chicago  ,  illinois  .  born  where  her  parents  spent  their  life  ,  grew  up  together  &  eventually  ended  up  married  .  it  was  the  perfect  love  story  ,  best  friends  -  then  lovers  -  then  soulmates  .  tied  for  life  ,  married  young  ,  in  their  mid  20′s  .  but the  love  between  the  two  of  them  never  faltering  once  even  after  another  10  years  pass  .  

her  mother  ,  was  a  highly  sought  after  model  .  her  father  ,  one  of  the  most  legendary  ufc  fighters  in  the  league  .  the  maji’s  were  considered  royalty  to  the  tabloids  ,  their  love  story  inspiring  many  .  their  life   was  seemingly  so  perfect  ,  a  dream  to  many  .  &  when  they  found  themselves  blessed  with  a  little  girl  after  five  years  of  marriage  ,  it  just  made  them  an  even  more  “  perfect  ”  family  .

karina  was  treated  like  a  princess  ,  her  parents  adored  the  ground  she  walked  on  &  karina  did  the  same  with  them  .  she  was  well  -  behaved  growing  up  ,  knowing  how  lucky  she  was  to  be  living  so  luxurious  ,  something  her  parents  taught  her  to  appreciate  since  she  was  old  enough  to  understand  .  they  drilled  gratefulness  into  her  head  by  the  age  of  five  .  it  was  a  very  rare  occurrence  where  karina  would  fight  or  disrespect  her  parents  .

they  lived  in  chicago  for  many  years  ,  a  way  for  them  to  keep  their  roots  established  while  raising  karina  .  &  have  more  privacy  than  living  in  their  career  hubs  would  give  them  -  aka  ,  nyc  or  la  .  it  was  much  more  accessible  for  her  father  to  work  out  of  chicago  ,  but  for  her  mother  ,  there  were  many  hours  spent  travelling  between  chicago  &  new  york  .  too  many  .  

(   tw  death  ,  plane  crash  )  it  was  the  mere  age  of  17  ,  when  karina’s  loving  mother  never  returned  home  from  her  trip  to  new  york  .  tragedy  struck  when  her  plane  crashed  due  to  pilot  error  .  the  day  that  changed  not  only  karina’s  life  permanently  ,  but  her  father  too  .  both  their  hearts  broke  into  two  that  day  .

she  wondered  for  months  how  she  could  possibly  continue  life  &  living  without  her  mom  in  it  .  &  the  older  she  got  ,  the  more  &  more  the  feeling  invaded  her  .  through  every  life  experience  she  had  afterwards  she  wished  with  everything  in  her  that  her  mom  was  there  next  to  her  .  

karina  went  from  a  happy  ,  extroverted  &  polite  girl  to  a  closed  off  ,   sardonic  &  enigmatic  woman  .  it  was  as  if  the  light  was  taken  out  of  her  body  &  she  turned  into  someone  unrecognizable  . 

(  tw  drugs  )  it  tore  her  dad  apart  ,  after  taking  a  year  off  to  mend  ,  he  fell  into  a  spiral  of  alcohol  &  drugs  ,  and  he  never  went  back  .  his  career  completely  ended  .   to  this  day  ,  her  dad  hasn’t  stepped  foot  in  the  ring  since  her  mother’s  death  .

her  senior  year  of  high  school  -  karina  fell  into  that  same  spiral  .  using  cocaine  ,  xanax  ,  weed  &  booze  to  cure  her  broken  heart  .  &  she  felt  like  it  did  ,  for  a  little  while  anyway  .  by  some  miracle  ,  she  graduated  with  her  diploma  .  but  that  didn’t  mean  much  anyway  ,  karina  wasn’t  going  to  college   ,  she  knew  exactly  what  she  wanted  to  do  with  the  rest  of  her  life  .

karina  grew  up  religiously  watching  her  dad  fight  ,  she’d  seen  tapes  of  every  single  one  of  his  fights  before  she  was  old  enough  to  watch  them  &  from  before  she  was  born   .  religiously  trained  &  boxed  with  her  father  every  sunday  since  she  was  eleven  .  she  learned  the  ins  &  out  at  a  young  age  ,  &  fell  in  love  with  the  sport  the  second  she  took  her  first  swing  .  

she  fell  even  more  heavily  into  training  after  her  mom  passed  ,  spending  practically  every  single  day  honing  her  skills  &  building  herself  to  follow  in  her  dad’s  footsteps  &  become  one  of  the  best  fighters  the  ufc  has  ever  seen  .

began  building  her  career  at  eighteen  by  moving  to  new  york  city ,  she  was  signed  by  the  age  of  20  .  suddenly  appearing  in  the  tabloids  ,  there  was  something  about  her  that  seemed  to  bring  in  people’s  attention  .  mma  fans  or  not  ,   she  gained  a  large  following  on  social  media  .  

suddenly  ,  she  was  getting  sponsorship  offers  left  &  right  .  whether  it  was  mma  related  or  sugarbear  hair  ,  she  was  getting  them  .  karina  took  the  ones  that  paid  her  well  ,  &  her  following  just  seemed  to  keep  rising  every  day  after  that  ,  basically  became  considered  an  “ influencer ”  along  with  her  other  title  .  

at  the  age  of  21  ,  karina  became  one  of  the  youngest  female  ever  to  be  signed  by  the  UFC  .  this  was  a  big  deal  to  her  ,  as  it’s  a  dream  so  many  fighters  wish  for  .  something  it  takes  years  of  hard  work  &  dedication  to  accomplish  .  something  she  worked  her  entire  life  for  .

she’s  been  fighting  with  the  ufc  for  the  last  three  years  ,  loving  every  minute  of  it   .  the  intense  training  ,  the  fights  ,  the  interviews  ,  it  all  gives  her  a  rush  she  can’t  explain  .  something  drugs  couldn’t  give  her  ,  which  she’s  required  to  get  tested  for  every  once  in  a  while  ,  usually  before  a  fight  .  she’s  found  her  ways  around  using  without  it  ruining  her  career  and/or  getting  caught  .  let’s  see  how  long  that  lasts  ..  ; - )  ksjndfsfd

with  all  the  money  that  she’s  reigned  in  the  last  few  years  from  the  ufc  along  with  her  instagram  sponsorships  ,  she’s  sending  a  lot of  it  to  her  father  ,  considering  his  “retirement”  fund  is  basically  non  -  existent  while  he  stays  cooped  up  in  their  chicago  family  home  ,  surrounded  by  memories  of  her  mother .  while  karina  stays  resided  in  her  cozy  tribeca  home  ,  only  steps  away  from  her  training  gym  .

                *  𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐨𝐧𝐚𝐥𝐢𝐭𝐲  :

karina  is  a  v  hard  nut  2  crack  .  she’s  closed  off  ,  sardonic  &  doesn’t  really  converse  much  with  strangers  

it’s  basically  been  her  &  her  dad  since  her  mom’s  passing  ,  so  she’s  very  hard  to  get  close  to  .  but  once  u  do  ,  she’ll  never  let  u  go .

she’s  loyal  to  a  fault  ,  because  she’s  always  afraid  of  people  leaving / d*ing  .  

she’s  trying  to  branch  out  &  make  more  friends  since  moving  to  tribeca  ,  but  she  truly  doesn’t  open  up  to  anyone  .   if  she  opens  up  to  you  about  her  life  or  her  past  ,  she  truly  trusts  u  ,  &  that  means  something

she  tends  to  come  off  as  intimidating  or  ..  bitchy  ,  even  when  she  doesn’t  mean  to  .  her  personality  just  tends  to  be  dry  .  she  tends  to  have  dark  humour  ,  so  she  has  to  be  careful  who  she  makes  jokes  around skndfkk 

sometimes  tends  2  stir  up  drama  even  by  accident  .  nskjkf

if  she’s  not  training  for  a  fight  ,  she’ll  be  out  partying  every  night  .  dancing  on  tables  &  probably  getting  herself  kicked  out  of  whatever  bar/club  she  found  herself  in  that  night  .  doing  what  she  can  to  get  drunk  or  feel  any  type  of  high  ,  whether  that  be  drugs  or  waking  up  next  to  a  stranger  .  

she’s  heavily  into  fashion  &  always  posting  cute  outfits  on  instagram  ,  something  that  caused  her  following  to  grow  .

she’s  lowkey  a  hopeless  romantic  ...  seeing  how  her  parents  fell  in  love  ,   but  it  scares  tf  out  of  her  because  of  their  ending  .  &  she’d  literally  never  admit  this  to  anyone  ever  .

she’s  a  new  muse  &  i’m  still  developing  her  but  i  have  sm  muse  so  i’m  very  excited  &  i  rly  hope  you  guys  like  her  !

             *  𝐰𝐚𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐝  𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐧𝐞𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬  :

ok  hello  if  u  read  that  long  ass  messy  shit  ur  a  baddie  🖤  anyway  ,  for  wc’s  ,  i  literally  have  so  many  !!  they  are  all  listed  here  @karinawcs​ ,  so  take  a  peek  &  if  you  like  any  of  them  lmk  bc  i  have  tons  of  headcannons / ideas  for  all  those  !  hehe  ily  let’s  plot  

[devil-in-those-eyes]

Duchess of the Kooks part 5-JJ Maybank

Oh, lord. Okay, I didn't think i’d continue it, so let’s hope you guys still want it.

Taglist: @lovelymaybankk @hyuckiesoftie @outerbanks123 @heimdoodle @downbytheouterbanks Sorry If I missed someone!

Warnings: death, so please, do not read and if you need it to be explained, lmk and I will update you. It’s V sad :(

~

            It had been a few weeks since you started dating JJ. Your nights had been filled with sneaking him in and falling asleep while listening to his heartbeat. It was rare you were ever awake when he snuck back out, but every once in a while you’d feel a gentle press of his lips against your forehead. Your days were filled with his fingers folded between yours, cuddles on the hms pogue and sneaking kisses when you didn’t think anyone was paying attention to you two. You couldn’t remember the last time you smiled this much, laughed so hard. Everything just seemed easier with JJ.

             There had been a time when you didn’t think you two could be anymore polar opposites, but you saw sides of JJ that your friends didn’t know existed. You saw the gentleness in his eyes, felt it when he touched you late at night, heard it in his voice when he called you my girl. 

            It had been mere days when JJ finally opened up about who hit him that night and how his dad was the reason behind the bruises. It absolutely broke you to know it was his father, you may not get along with your parents but they would never raise a hand to you. It made you feel better when he slept over, because if he was over with John B or you then it meant he was out of his father’s path.

             JJ always tried to downplay the hurt his dad caused, but you knew better. You constantly wished that Topper would suddenly become the kid you grew up with and followed around, you constantly wished your parents started caring more about you then appearances and money. Deep down you knew none of those things would happen, but they were still your family and you would probably always hold out some sliver of hope and you could see it in JJ’s eyes.             You just did what you could. You laid with him, ran your fingers through his blond hair and felt the grit of the salt. You ignored the pang in your heart as his arms circled your waist and he dug his face into your neck.

            My girl makes everything better.

            The first time he called you that, it was like you could have dropped dead right then and there. You had been with Kie when he said it and watched his bright eyes light up even more, like a freaking neon sign, and half of you thought it was a fluke. Then he did it again in your bedroom, whispering it across your mouth and causing a flurry of butterflies.

             His kisses ignited a fire inside your stomach and the more his lips moved against yours, the further the fire spread throughout your body, lighting up your fingers and toes. You could spend hours kissing JJ and he could spend days feeling your skin in his hands. 

            Currently, you were laying on your bed with JJ’s hips nestled between your thighs. You giggling softly up at him, his lazy but goofy half smile as he stared down at you made your cheeks burn.

             “Are you serious?” You whispered, struggling to keep your laugh quiet so you didn’t wake your parents on the floor above you

.             “Swear to god, babe,” he answered, holding himself up by a hand next to your head and the other holding onto your slatted headboard. “You don’t believe me?”

            “No,” you blurted out, shaking your head. “I really don’t. You hated me.”

               “I definitely didn’t hate you, I hated your last name, there’s a difference.” He smirked, eyes heating up as your fingers danced up his bare chest.

             You scoffed, “Okay, JJ.” 

           “It’s true,” he answered, swiveling his hips softly and making your gasp as his hard dick brushed over your center, a barrier of his board shorts, your underwear and PJ shorts between you two. JJ dropped his head, bringing both hands to fist the pillow, and ghosted his lips over your mouth. “I remember the first time I saw you,” he whispered, his words low.

             Your heart stammered in your chest, eyes fluttering shut. Teasingly, you licked at his bottom lip and twisted your hips against his, hearing a low murmur of a moan fall from his mouth. “What was I wearing then?” 

           “Black overalls, dark purple lace sports bra under it.” He kissed the corner of your mouth. “You were standing with Kie, drinking beer, dancing to Fly by Sugar Ray.” JJ groaned and reached for your hips, giving a light squeeze, “fuck, watching these hips move.”  

          Vaguely, you remembered the night he was talking about. It was the first time Kiara had dragged you to meet her friends at a kegger at the Boneyards. She had recently discovered Sugar Ray and had started playing the music through his phone, both of your singing and dancing, ignoring the judgmental eyes of everyone else. It was the night you realized JJ would never fully accept you, you just didn’t know the look in his eyes had been full of filthy heat, not hate. 

            “And,” he pressed a light kiss to your mouth. “the first time you stole my breath away was the first time I made you laugh.”

            You pried your eyes open and stared up at him, his eyes growing soft. He moved to rest on his elbows and brushed a hand over your forehead. He smiled wistfully, as if remembering that moment. “I couldn’t tell you what the hell I said, all I remember if watching you laugh and thinking about how much I loved that laugh.” 

           “So, let me get this straight, you spent months making my life a living hell when in reality you were crushing hard core?” you asked, raising your eyebrows and felt a laugh bubble past your lips. “JJ, that’s so elementary school.”  

          “God, fuck, I know,” he groaned, dropping his head to rest his forehead against your jaw. “I couldn’t help it. You just made me so nervous, I couldn’t handle it.”    

        You rolled your eyes. “You’re such a moron.”

            “Hey,” He said, lifting his head to look at you. “Eventually, I got the girl, didn’t I? I’m not a total lost cause.” 

           You snorted, and lifted a hand to cover your face. “Oh, my fucking god.”

            JJ snaked an arm around your waist and rolled, forcing you to lay against his chest. “All of that was well worth it,” He murmured as your head settled into his warm neck. 

            “Yeah?” you shivered as his hands dug into your hair. 

            “Absolutely, pissing you off was like my favorite game to play,” You laughed, rolling your eyes. “Not gonna lie, it always turned me on.” 

           You weren’t gonna lie either, you could remember a few arguments between the two of you that left your stomach burning and your cheeks hot. Weeks ago, you thought it was just the anger he riled up inside of you but now you realized it was the sexual tension.

             “Now your favorite game is sneaking into my bed,” You said as his other hand touched yours and you touched his rings on his fingers. 

            “You bet your sweet ass,” you could almost hear his grin.

             Eventually, you fell asleep, listening to his deep breathing and steady heartbeat. In the morning, JJ was no where to be seen. It always made you feel a bit sad when you woke up without him because you always went to sleep with him and you started to look forward to the day you could wake up with him.             You and Kiara had plans to join the boys later that night after work, so the day was spent at The Wreck. John B, JJ and Pope were all busy working, so you and Kiara decided to follow suit and work.

             Until Rafe walked into the restaurant.

             “Get lost, we don’t serve dickheads.” Kiara said, walking back behind the counter to grab some food while you pulled out a receipt out from the register.

             You fought a smirk as Rafe sighed and came to stand in front of you.  You kept your eyes down as he spoke, “I came to pick you up, Y/N.”

            “Excuse me?” you asked, your eyes looking up at him, confused.

             “She’s not going anywhere with you,” Kiara answered, coming to stand beside you.”

            Rafe licked his bottom lip and rubbed the back of his neck. “Your mom asked me to pick you up, can you just… please, come with me?”

            You rolled your eyes and scoffed, “get lost, Rafe.”

            “For god’s sake, your mom seemed freaked out, Y/N. I’m not lying,” he answered and dug his phone out of his pocket. You stared at him as he opened his phone and saw a text conversation between Rafe and your mother. 

            You snatched his phone and quickly read it. 

            How close are you to The Wreck? – Mrs. Thornton

             A few miles. Why? -Rafe

            Please pick up Y/N and bring her home. There’s been an emergency. -Mrs. Thornton

            You looked up at Rafe. Family emergency?

             His eyes rounded, “I’m not lying.”

            “Y/N,” Kiara said, “you want me to come?” 

           “No,” you breathed, finally looking at her. “Topper probably did something and she’s overreacting.”

            Kiara looked a little unsure, she really didn’t want you to go with Rafe but you knew Rafe wouldn’t leave until you went with him. “I’ll  meet you at JB’s tonight.” You promised her, “tell your dad I’m sorry for running out.” 

           You peeled the stained apron from you and followed Rafe out, getting into his car. What the hell could be the emergency? “You really don’t know what’s wrong?” You asked Rafe as he peeled out of The Wreck and headed to your home.

             “No,” he shrugged. “Topper keeps sending me to voicemail.”

            Your stomach started to fill with nerves and you sighed. You crossed your arms over your chest. It was awkward between you and Rafe, you two never got along. He was literally the biggest dick you had ever met. He had the biggest ego, the worst mouth on him. You could see how Topper was his closest friends, but he also charmed the pants off your mother and she utterly loved him.             You rolled your eyes at that thought.

             The second Rafe pulled into your driveway, you noticed Deputy Shoupe’s truck sitting beside Topper’s car. Uncle Mac’s car wasn’t here, but seeing the same truck that took JJ away in handcuffs had you a little worried. You got out of the car and Rafe followed after you, both of you silent as you pushed your front door open.

             Nerves mixed with fear as you walked into your kitchen to see Topper resting against the island, tears in is eyes. Your mom and dad sitting at the table, tears streaming down your moms face while you dad just sat there, his cheeks white as a ghost.

             “What’s going on…” you said slowly as Rafe stood beside you.             Your mom looked up at you, usually she looked so perfect. There was never a hair out of place, makeup done so well, but right now, as she stared at you, she looked like she just lost her whole world and so did your dad.

             “Honey,” your mom started. “Uncle Mac… there’s been an accident.”            You shook your head, not fully understanding her but all of sudden it clicked. So, when you shook your head, you started crying. “No, no, no,” you struggled to speak.

             Your dad finally looked at you, confirming that what your mother hadn’t said but what you realized she was trying to say was actually true.

             “Y/N,” your dad said, his voice filled with tears. He cleared his throat.             You felt a hand touch your elbow and you recoiled quickly. “Don’t touch me,” you hissed, stepping away from Rafe. Shoupe stood up and faced you. You held up your finger, “Mac, he’s fine. I spoke to him an hour ago.”

            “Y/N, I’m sorry,” Shoupe whispered, his eyes filled with regret. “Your uncle’s gone.” 

           “Don’t say that,” you cried, tears streaming down your face. You felt as if someone had just slammed a freight train into your chest. “Please, don’t say that.” 

           Gone? Like… gone? He couldn’t be gone. You thought to yourself but he was gone and you were suddenly hit with all of that pain again. It was like wave after wave of soul crushing pain.

             Rafe touched you again. You recoiled again and faced him, his own eyes filled with sadness. “Oh, my god.” You sobbed, covering your mouth as your stomach rolled.

             You leaned over at your hips and let out a cry. Your hands were covering your face but you felt foreign arms wrap around you tightly and Rafe’s soft voice beside your ear. “I’ve got you.” 

           You wanted JJ. You didn’t want to believe this was happening to you. Your uncle had to fly home in a few days and he promised that next summer you’d vacation with him and catch waves. He’d take you hiking. You had just made so many plans with him and now he was.. gone? 

           Somehow you ended up on the couch with Rafe holding you. If you tried hard enough, you could pretend he was JJ. Eventually the tears dried up, but you felt numb. Topper sat on the coffee table in front of you and was leaning on his elbows, his knuckles just centimeters from your knees. This was the closest you had been to Topper in a very long time. This was the closest you had ever been to Rafe. 

            Sometime during this, Shoupe had left but your mom was still at the kitchen table. Your dad was pacing.

             Your head was leaning on Rafe’s shoulder and his hand was pushing the hair off of your sweaty forehead. Topper’s tears had dried and he just stared at you, wondering how you two had come to this. How you two never spoke anymore, he knew nothing about you. He didn’t know your favorite color, your favorite type of music, all things he knew growing up, but now he knew nothing. 

            In the distance you could hear the front door slam open, followed by Kiara’s voice. “Y/N!”

            You lifted your head just in time to see JJ running into your kitchen, his eyes wild as he looked for you, Kiara hot on his heels. Your tears started again as you stood up and ran towards him. His arms opened instantly and caught you. You never felt so much relief before as his arms circled you and squeezed so tight you felt your back crack, you dug your face into the safety of his neck and felt Kiara’s arms wrap around you from behind.

             “The hell is he doing here?” Your heard your dad ask and only then did you remember that your parents had no idea that you were dating the guy that got arrested for sinking Topper’s boat.

             “I called them.” You heard Topper state as JJ kissed your cheek.             He slowly let go of you and you turned towards Kiara, who had tears in her eyes. Her arms wrapped around you and squeezed tightly, both of you unable to find the words to say. You pulled back and felt JJ’s hand touch the back of your head, both him and Kiara stood in front of you.

             “Thanks for calling us, Topper.” JJ said over your head before looking back down at you and wiped your tears away. “Let’s get some fresh air, yeah?”  he whispered, nodding his head to your back door.

             You followed JJ and Kiara out of your house and sat on the desk chairs. JJ sat beside you and wrapped his arm around your shoulders and this time, when you curled into him you didn’t have to pretend because JJ was really here.             Kiara sat in the chair in front of you, holding your hand. 

            “Did Topper really call you?” You whispered, feeling JJ’s lips touch your forehead.  

           Kiara nodded softly, “We had just gotten to John B’s when he called.” 

           “I can’t believe he’s gone,” You whispered, your throat tight again with tears. “He can’t be gone.” 

           Kiara’s eyes filled with tears as JJ’s arms wrapped tightly around you and pulled you into him. “We’re here for you, Y/N,” Kiara whispered, squeezing your hand. 

[anakinlove]

Hi!! I was wondering if you have any advice,,, I know that in order to become a better writer, I need to write. However, I'm afraid that what I write will turn out not-so-great, and it's keeping me from writing :'( Do you have any thoughts on this? (& sorry for bothering you!)

Hey! Sorry for the late reply, I’ve just been thinking about this all day to actually try to give advice and not just go “oof couldnt be me” 

I know that it is scary to think about your work being out where anyone can see it. I struggle with it myself. I worry that the fic I spent 8 hours on will get hate or quite frankly worse, not get read. But I PROMISE YOU there is always going to be at least one person that loves it. Hopefully enough to leave a comment on it, but I know that there are fics I think about that I read when I was 13 and was too young and dumb to comment on. 

My main advice would be to never let anything keep you from writing. If I had stopped writing the second I had gotten hate for it I would only have one fic. But I didn’t. I kept writing because I love it, and I know there are other people that like reading my fics too! There are going to be people that love reading yours. 

If you want, I will show you what my earliest writing looks like. It’s bad. It’s gross. It’s definitely awful, but if I had stopped when I was 14 then I wouldn’t have learned what I have. Just keep writing and eventually you’ll write something you’re so proud of you could burst. I was so proud of my very first Percabeth fic that I cried when I posted it. There’s no better feeling. Set It Free (my reader breaking up with anakin fic) is literally one of my proudest achievements bc like, I did that!! It’s mine!!!!

Overall: don’t let anything keep you from writing. Just don’t. It’s not worth it, when writing is so fun! Same goes for anything else in your life, be it art or something else. ALSO???? TAG ME IN YOUR FIC BABE LIKE DAMN I’M ALWAYS IN THE MOOD TO READ SOMETHING NEW

Ily anon thanks for stopping in💖

But if you would like some ~pointers~ from a non-professsional writer I have written some down here below the cut: 

I just want you to know that I am absolutely not a professional and quite frankly most of these are probably my opinions, but if they help you/ you have more questions please let me know, I’m always happy to help! Some of these might suck to hear but they are all the truth to me.

Honestly I think one way to get better is to make sure to always try to write longer fics. I find that having more time to play with the characters, more opportunities for different types of characters, and more descriptions for your scenes are always great ways to improve, because you might google more words that you didn’t know existed,  or find new ways to describe something. If you always write a clear blue sky try writing a dark and stormy one!

Don’t be afraid to put actions in the middle of dialogue. For example:  

“You’re so cute,” I smiled, laughing softly, “I wish I could be more like          you.”

you can even do something like: 

“May I...” he whispers hoarsely, sounding desperate. Like he needs something. “May I hold you?”

It breaks apart your paragraphs better rather than “Dialogue.” Description. Like yes absolutely use that, but test new waters! Go to new lands with your writing!

I know a lot of people that don’t do outlines for their fics, but I do! It gives me a clear set of directions for what I want to happen. Here is an example of one for an up-and-coming fic: 

This one is VERY in depth, mostly because I have a lot things I want to happen and I’m practically writing the story within the outline. I’ve also seen some that are 

“He kisses her here, smooch smooch. 

time to do the deed here

end with snuggles!” 

(I’m looking at you Julia) 

It’s just an easy way to know what you want to happen, and it prevents getting offtrack, or rambling. 

I know this is going to sound stupid, but not every sentence in a fic has to be poetry. Unless you are specifically going for a poetic fic, you don’t have to spend four sentences describing the shade of brown of your character. It can be just brown. A honey brown works too! Small descriptives in-between large ones are always my go-to. If you want to spend four sentences describing the hair, then only spend one describing their clothes, or something else. Poetic fics can be beautiful when you’re specifically going for that style. There are plenty of writing styles. Find yours! Experiment!

Try not to switch point-of-views. If you are writing in the third person, then please stay third person for that fic. Same goes for second and first. Switch between characters if it fits the scene for sure! But one of my huge pet peeves is seeing: 

She stood at the edge of the water, overlooking the lake surrounded by treews. 

“It’s so pretty” I said to no one. I looked around and noticed to my left that there was a very large tree. 

It seemed pretty easy to climb, you thought. So you climbed it all the way to the top. 

It just breaks the story apart. It sounds like three different people are narrating it. Try to stick with one! Feel free to do one fic in third-person and another in second, but don’t switch during a fic. 

If anyone wants more un-professional advice by someone who should definitely not be giving advice lmk. Or if anyone has questions, comments, or concerns also lmk. 

[julietsfm]

— only five minutes ‘til midnight , and we just spotted JULIET ROBINSON , known for SITTING IN THE BACK OF A CROWDED ROOM , STEALING GLANCES ACROSS THE TABLE , and THE SOUND OF ACRYLIC NAILS TAPPING AGAINST A HARD SURFACE , at club nouveau , ringing in the new year ! the TWENTY-TWO year old is usually known for their job as a M O D E L , but tonight , they’re just another reveler in the crowd . when they wrote down their new year’s resolution , they wished for THE OPPORTUNITY TO TAKE A BREAK & A LOW-KEY VACATION WITH HER CLOSEST FRIENDS . funny enough , they had also mentioned how they hoped to forget about the time that they REDACTED . for what it’s worth , i truly hope they can put the old year past them . [ zendaya , cis female , SUPERMODEL JULIET ROBINSON CAUGHT SNEAKING OUT OF PARTY WITH MYSTERY BEAU ]

BIOGRAPHY:

JULIET BEATRICE ROBINSON. born in the heart of austin, texas to rudolph and katherine robinson. she was born into your run of the mill middle class family, but it didn't take long for her family to strike oil. literally. just a year after her birth, her parents were hired as lawyers for two very large energy corporations respectively. handling all the big wig stuff was no walk in the park, especially as time went on and the world began to call for different types of energy. if there was one thing the robinsons were not, it was QUITTERS. it didn't take much time for them to find new clients- more famous clients. switching from company law to personal law didn't phase either of the adults much. in fact, this proved to be their strength. they made the switch in '07, the year juliet turned nine. it was then they packed their bags and headed to new york in search of better opportunities.

new york is where juliet has most of her memories. she hardly remembers life in texas and has only known a life of wealth. it's the type of life everybody dreams of. however, juliet always found it hard. she had no expectations to meet, but also impossible expectations to meet. she could slack off academically if she wanted to, but she couldn't be caught publicly doing things most teens would do when slacking off in school. everything she did was a reflection of her parents, and moving to new york made that very apparent. in texas, it was hard to find people who cared outside of your social circle. new york is a very different environment and juliet has had trouble adjusting. she was there just six years before being pulled from her expensive private school and switching to the homeschool / tutor life.

her parents (and those around them) found beauty in her that she had yet to see in herself. if you had asked juliet, she was just the product of two averagely beautiful people. however, those around her seemed to see much more. through her parents connections, she met with modeling companies and began working on her portfolio. if anyone was going to take her seriously, she was going to need more than just a pretty face. at least, that's what they had told her. luckily, she had been in ballet all throughout her youth, so she already had the grace and gentleness that one expected from a model. she wasn't self-conscious, but she still couldn't see what everyone else saw in her. she spent many hours looking in the mirror just searching for SOMETHING extraordinary about her.

in juliet's eyes, she was not extraordinary. it was her parents that were larger than life. they had turned nothing into everything and she was just lucky to be the one to come out of her mother that one march morning in '98. because she was that girl, she was expected to follow these even more intensive rules. watch what you eat, make sure you're keeping in shape, be careful who you spend time with, et cetera. it was very stressful and she couldn't stand it. she never asked for or wanted any of this. ever since she was born, she has been following a path set by her parents. she understands how blessed she is to have money, a platform, and a promising career in front of her. but she doesn't want it anymore. not that she's told her parents this. she wants to, but she knows she owes everything she has to them. her friendships, her career, her connections... it never ends. as much as she loves her friends and her life, she feels like a fish out of water. it's hard for her to explain, but she definitely has that feeling of impostor syndrome. no matter how many years she spent in new york or as a model, she sees everyone else and thinks they're all happy with their lives. they seem fulfilled and she wonders why she isn't. it just doesn't make sense why she can't just feel the same way as her friends. they're living the life everyone else only dreams of- why can't she be content with that?

because it means having to tell her parents that something isn't right. not once has she ever stood up to them. not for fear of having her savings taken away (not that it matters anymore, seeing how she has her successful modelig career) but for fear of telling them they've made her unhappy. also, talking feelings with two big-shot lawyers sounds like a nightmare. they rely on facts and are very straight to the point. they can be intimidating when they want to be, moreso when they don't even mean to be.

which is why she so desperately wishes to seek other opportunities. even though more and more celebrities are finding their way back to university, her parents seem against the idea for some reason. she's been eyeing other talents such as singing or acting, but her parents have told her "WE DON'T KNOW IF YOU WILL SUCCEED IN THAT FIELD. WHY RUIN A GOOD THING? YOU'RE ONLY GOING TO HAVE THIS PRETTY FACE FOR SO LONG, WHY NOT CAPITALIZE OFF OF IT WHEN YOU CAN?" so, for now, that's exactly what she'll do.

TOO LONG; DIDN’T READ:

born in texas

pisces

parents are lawyers for big name clients

moved to new york at age 9

model but yearning for more

wants to try out music / acting but is too scared to branch out

terrified of her parents and refuses to confront them

getting less secure in her role their version of society

continues to stay her best possible self for the media just to please her parents

attends events but learns to stay under the radar

very susceptible to peer pressure LMFAO

HERE IS A SOCIAL MEDIA PAGE I MADE!!!!!!!!!!!! please look at it it took me literal hours 

if u have any more questions for me just lmk <3

WANTED CONNECTIONS:

confidant

first friend in nyc ! or any childhood friends tbh <3

maybe any other friends who moved to new york in their tweens/teens??? kinda new in town?????? trying to figure it out together?????

any actor / actress / musician friends so juliet can be obsessed w their passion for their craft n their skill level ?

frenemies ? maybe they pretend to be friends for social media but don’t like each other or are overall indifferent to each other ??????

exes?????? fwb???????? one night stands???????? she likes everyone so we can make this work with whomstever if anyone is interested <3

[rowanfoster]

{ odeya rush ♔ twenty-three ♔ she/her } well, well, well if it isn’t rowan foster running around peach hollow. legend has it, she comes from tangerine towers and has lived here her entire life. if you’re wondering what she’s been up to, i hear she’s a make up artist / freelance musician for a living. she has been known to be impulsive yet insightful. a word of advice to her, always look over your shoulder. you never know who is watching.

why yes, it is i, admin kim, with another character that should’ve been kept in the drafts of my mind. if you’ve not met daysia or serenity, here’s a lil low down on me. i’m 26, i use she/her pronouns, and live on the east coast. i thrive on writing angst and my animal crossing villagers being happy. also caffeine. i luv chris klemens. most likely to have a mental breakdown on twitter. meet rowan! trigger warnings for mental illness, bipolar disorder specifically, and inpatient treatment

have a playlist and a pinterest board dedicated to her

rowan celeste foster was born may 27th, 1996. she’s the oldest of two, a baby sister coming to the scene in 1999.

her family is extremely close. they’ve been in peach hollow their whole lives. she grew up in a crowded house on blueberry boulevard, crammed in with her mother, father, sister, maternal grandmother and maternal grandfather. rowan never knew peace or privacy growing up – it just wasn’t possible with that many people which has really contributed to her somewhat isolated adulthood

her mother is a charge nurse at peach hollow general, working on the emergency room floor. her father is a retired car salesman. her grandparents moved into the house when her sister was born in order to help take care of the girls while their parents worked full time. rowan is especially grateful for their care, because she feels like she’d be a little more sour had she been raised by absent parents.

growing up, she shared a room with her younger sister. they told each other everything because they had no choice not to. they both developed an interest in make up and music at very young ages, but rowan particularly took to those things while maci took more interest in sports. when rowan was gifted her first ukulele at age 6, maci got her first basketball. they are polar opposites, but maci was the only person rowan really confided in as a child and an adolescent.

she’d always been rather moody. tantrums and fits were nearly unavoidable. her self esteem lacked before she even had a chance to develop any confidence. she was always the try hard, the girl who stood out because she was just a little different, the emotional one, the one the other kids didn’t want to mess with, not because she’d fight back, but because she would absolutely lose it. there were countless times where rowan ended up in the guidance counselor’s office, waiting on her grandmother to show up and bring her home. that was the beginning of their problems.

her mental health really started to decline in her mid teenage years. she spent hours upon hours in her room, writing songs, playing guitar, practicing make up looks – she’d go days without sleeping and snap at anyone who crossed her path. she got into screaming matches with everyone in the house, only to find herself crying in her bed for the next few days. she started missing days at a time from school, while her artistry thrive, the rest of her crumbled. her grades, all of it.

eventually, this resulted in her parents yanking her out of peach hollow high and putting her in counseling, which lead her to a psychiatrist and a diagnosis of bipolar disorder at the age of 17. while it made sense, she dreaded taking the medications. they numbed everything. her writing suffered, and while her moods weren’t swinging from the trees anymore, she feared that this empty feeling was worse.

she finished her high school diploma in homeschooling with her grandmother while maci went on to thrive in school. the attention shifted to her, and rowan couldn’t really blame them. she turned 18 and started performing in clubs, bars, and anywhere she could get in. ps her voice is a mix of bishop briggs & mary lambert. the thrill of performing to small crowds sucked her in. she began to gain an even smaller following on social media, mainly the locals following her. every once in a while she’ll book a show in atlanta and she’ll make the long drive just to sing in front of a bit of a larger crowd. she’ll gain a few followers from those shows, but this still isn’t her main source of income.

most of her money comes from the make up artistry she does through pop of peach. she doesn’t go in every day, but when someone has an event scheduled or needs their make up done for a dance or something, she’s there. she tries to spread things out bc she’s always late lmao and finds it hard to stick to a schedule

she was doing so well for a few years, even moved out of her parents’ house and into an apartment at the towers. that’s where she really found herself, made some real friends and built relationships that were good for her. however, she missed a few doctor’s appointments and was discharged from her psychiatrist’s office. she went off meds, and for a few weeks it was fine. when she ran out of meds, the next few weeks were okay as well. it was when every single drop of medication had drained from her body that things got bad.

rowan was missing appointments she scheduled at pop of peach. she was spending far too much time out at nights, giving in to alcohol for the most part. she tried not to touch any drugs, but drinking became a nightly thing. she’d perform, then spend the rest of the night partying with whoever she could find at the venue.

one night in atlanta after a particularly shaky performance, rowan found herself in a dark place and simply went into the women’s bathroom to calm down, but police say they found her laying flat on the ground, refusing to respond to anyone. she vaguely remembers the end of the manic episode, but it did land her in the emergency room for a change in mental status.

much to her chagrin, they admitted her overnight before transporting her to skyland trail, a mental health facility in atlanta. she spend about two and a half months there getting medications regulated and learning new coping mechanisms. she was discharged about two weeks ago and finally made it back to peach hollow and her apartment.

she’d lead everyone other than her family and maybe one or two other people that she was away on a musician’s retreat, but really, was in inpatient treatment.

she’s currently working full time as a make up artist at pop of peach and performing when she can, but doesn’t really go outside of peach hollow

fun facts & personality

rowan despises small talk. conversations about the weather or political climate don’t stimulate her and she gets snarky pretty easily. it isn’t that she wants to come off rude or unapproachable, but nine times out of ten, small talk is fake and she feels as though she doesn’t have the time or energy to indulge in it. ask her about the sky or some shit. she won’t shut up

she has a tendency to overshare,  aside from what’s been going on in the past few months. her lips are sealed tight about that. however, she’s open to talking about her mental health and is a big advocate for erasing the stigma. this makes rowan a very good listener and a huge supportive presence for anyone struggling. she’s the mom friend, and no matter what time of day or night, if someone says they need an ear, she’ll go to them. she knows what it’s like to be alone.

despite her past and her demons, rowan finds a way to put on a smile. it might often be snarky or sarcastic, but rarely is it insincere. she’s an empath and feels everything so very deeply, but can easily put it away when necessarily.

her apartment is her safe haven. she rarely has company. it isn’t really her thing. she prefers to go to other people’s places. she has her record collection proudly displayed on her living room wall, all the plants you can imagine, incense burning whenever she’s home, and a scottish fold munchkin cat named loonette after her favorite childhood tv show, the big comfy couch. she has hopes to get another cat named molly to match. you know, because we’re all clowns !

she takes great pride in her instagram. it sounds superficial, but often times, rowan will post a good picture and then link to her next show in hopes that somebody will come based on that. while she does have a passion for make up and a second instagram for it, ultimately, she’d like for there to come a time where she can live solely on the money she makes through music

catch her driving her old ass ford focus blaring 00s alternative, mainly fuckin paramore bc she’s heart eyes for hayley williams

wanted connections if ya made it this far!!!!

childhood friends – those who she’s known since elementary school. they’ve most likely watched her go through her many trials and tribulations in class. these could be acquaintances, close friends, or even a ride or die or two.

bullies – people who fucked with her through school. it’s essential that they’re on bad terms currently, but perhaps an enemy turned friend or romantic could be fun??

group therapy pal – this would be super fun and might entail the person finding out about her secret…. msg me for deets

exes – there will be a couple of these, gender does not matter. i’d like to find one that she was dating when she went into treatment and maybe hasn’t seen/spoken to them since they’ve been back, first love, high school sweetheart?? omg possibilities are endless

flirtationship – self explanatory, gender doesn’t matter she’s pan

any other ideas literally lmk!! thanks for reading ♥

[kaptain-k-pop]

[?] Days of K-ristmas: Day 6*

aka

The K-List: #15

*(if you have no idea what I'm talking abt with this "[?] Days of K-ristmas" thing the very longwinded explanation is here lmao)

She's In The Rain

The Rose

Okay okay, I know this is another title track, probably one of their most famous so everyone who knows about The Rose knows about this song already

But I wanna talk about it anyway bc this is my blog and I can do what I want it's a really important song for me that stuck with me from the first time I heard it and I just wanna gush about it and talk about that

So some of my moots who have followed me since before last April may know this story already because I mentioned it in a post at the time, but last spring I was in a really bad place. I was having a really stressful semester and going through a lot of inner conflict about my future. My roommate had moved out (not because of any conflict! She just wanted to live somewhere cheaper, which is valid!) meaning I was living alone in a two person dorm, which was actually really bad for my health because without anyone else around I wasn't taking good care of myself or my environment. My sleep '''''schedule''''' was non-existent and there were many times when I was pulling all nighters or skipping meals to work on things. My group of college friends had all moved off campus, so even when I did remember/make time to go eat in the student center I ate alone. The fact that I was so worried about school meant I never really made plans with those friends either because I was always beating myself up for not focusing enough on my coursework. I was pretty much completely isolating myself and I spent most of my time alone in my dorm -- which you may recall, I wasn't taking good care of -- and being in that environment only made me feel worse about myself. I felt so depressed and unproductive in such a messy place, but I couldn't make time to get my environment in order because I had coursework I needed to do... but I couldn't efficiently work on my coursework because I felt so depressed and unproductive in the environment I created and around and around (it's also really difficult for me to focus in public places/around other people because I get easily distracted, so I didn't really have a good place to work other than my dorm). My irl best friend (aka my main source of support and physical affection) and my family were 2 hours away and I was completely touch starved. And I rarely went home on the weekend or left my dorm at all because I felt like every moment I wasn't trying to be productive I was being lazy. Both my mental and physical health were absolute trash. And I knew I was in a bad place but I had no idea how to get myself out. I felt like I had no time or energy to take any major steps to improve my situation.

I went home for Easter break. Three days of focusing on family instead of school and acting like I wasn't spending the whole time worrying about all the stressful things I would have to deal with when I got back.

During my 2 hour drive back to school Monday night I was keeping myself company with my Spotify playlists as usual and eventually Spotify began playing me "recommended radio"

And it was at this time that I heard She's in The Rain for the very first time

My first thoughts were that it sounded like an amazing song, but even despite the language barrier I could tell that it was a very emotional song so I was thinking it might not be the best thing to listen to when I was already feeling so down

And then Woosung's voice in perfect English in the last verse:

"You wanna hurt yourself, I'll stay with you

You wanna make yourself go through the pain

It's better to be held than holding on"

completely struck me in the heart and I pulled over into the next gas station and cried.

I'm not in that same situation anymore and I've been taking steps since then to try to get myself to a better place and improve my health. And living at home now with my family (and my best friend living 5 minutes away) and not feeling so isolated anymore has been a huge part of that

Hearing those words that night really struck a chord with me. It is better to confide your troubles in people and to be vulnerable and let yourself be held by someone who cares about you than to be just trying to hold on all by yourself. And the way the last chorus changes from "She's in the rain" to "We're in the rain" is such a beautiful ending as well as a perfect metaphor. When you're struggling your friends can't always do anything to get you out of that situation no matter how much they want to. But they can be there to try to support you and stand in the rain with you so that you don't have to go through hard times all alone

(this post is so long now and it's mostly just been about me and not the song I'm sorry ajdjksla)

But I also just wanna say that this song is so beautiful! It's really a masterpiece imo

The way that it starts out with just the acoustic guitar and Woosung's voice is so simple and pretty (and I thought it was a violin but then I realized maybe it was the bass but I swear I hear violin too idk maybe it's in the backing track or something?? am I crazy? lmk) and then the drums and everything really coming in almost halfway through the song after the first verse??? 😔👌👌👌

One of the things I love about Korean songs in when the singer is able to convey the emotion of a song with their voice and make you feel despite the language barrier. Woosung has one of the best examples of this. His voice is so unique, just hearing it can tug at your heartstrings even if you don't actually know what the words he's saying mean (which also makes it a 1 hit KO when he DOES say something in English ajdjksla) the way his voice literally makes him sound like he's on the verge of tears throughout the whole song really enhances it so much

(Dojoon has such a pretty voice too!! It's been a while since I've head it since he didn't sing on RED and I've been listening to a lot of other groups but yeah after listening to this song again to pick out all the parts to put in this post I'm reminded of how good he sounds in it 😔🙏 bless)

So I'll try to just wrap it up now since I've talked a lot: The Rose is such a good band and this is such a good song and the lyrics are so beautiful (you should look up the full translation if you haven't!)

Okay. That's all. I love this song, and if you've read this far I love you!!!!

[charlesxavirs]

Do you have any stenbrough fic recs?

*cracks knuckles* i was literally born to make this post

if i had more time this list would be like three times longer than it actually is but these are some of my absolute favourites (also idk if all of these writers have a tumblr so i’ve tried to tag them where i can but if i’ve missed anyone lmk!)

(ryan bergara vc) let’s get into it

m u s e by @dearg0d  (rated T)

i’m begging you please read everything by this author they will literally rip your heart to shreds but this is probably my favourite of theirs honestly it’s so fucking wholesome 

Hands by novileigh (rated E)

this is probably one of my all time favourite fics ever. the characterisations,,,,, the fluff,,,,,,, the angst , this fic is just, everything. i could go from sobbing at one chapter to squealing at another. god tier, please read

ask me why my heart is in my throat by drippingcandie (rated T)

i literally spent hours one day looking for this fic i adore it with all my heart. honestly it’s just the cutest thing i’ve ever read

24k by @stanheartsbill (rated E)

honestly if you haven’t read 24k then what are you even doing?? literally all of lana’s fics are god tier but 24k is just , Iconique

He Doesn’t Even Like Mayday Parade! by @royalstanley

this will forever be in my top 5 favourite fics, honestly. the concept is so so good and it will never fail to put a smile on my face

Don’t kiss me, I’m sick by scalira (rated G)

listen , i’m a simple man. all i ask for is two beans and some fluff. this gave me everything and more, honestly. sick!stan and halloween???? it’s what we all deserve

 science fiction/double feature by @hellosterfry (rated E)

liste n , i cannot stop thinking about this. i think i’ve read it about four times in the past week and honestly???? i’m probably gonna read it again when i’ve finished this. bill denbrough playing brad is something i did not know i needed until i read this and now i need more

i also may have an ao3 of my own *wink wink nudge nudge* with quite a bit of stenbrough if you wanna check it out here !

[heidijeann]

First Stop: Singapore

TLl;DR people...this blog isn’t for you. Instead, check out our photo highlights here: https://photos.app.goo.gl/bJHF8QvwteX8NSuU7

Day one in Singapore - has been hot and exhausting, but also beautiful and fragrant (especially in the Hawker Centers!). We landed around 8 am, after a pretty uneventful 17 hour 20 minute flight from SFO to SIN. And don’t you always wish for uneventful travels? It’s really is the perfect adjective but also the best when traveling for so long. Our isle was quiet, with a small, friendly, and quiet woman who was nice every time we asked to get up to use the restroom. We mostly slept, but also watched a bit of TV, putting on Crazy Rich Asians to refresh our memory of the movie and prep for Singapore. We joked throughout our whole stay if we would see or meet anyone like Astrid, or where she would be hanging out. (We didn’t find her.) Then, breakfast was served and taken away, the cabin was being prepared for landing, and we were sitting on the tarmac in Asia! We made it - we were finally here in Asia and all the stress of wrapping up work, saying goodbye to our friends and family, and packing up our whole lives - selling our things, storing our things, moving out and cleaning our apartment...all the stress disappeared and we were finally here, starting out our dream. 134 days to go!

We made our way through customs and baggage claim and found the MRT (Municipal Rapid Transit), getting a 2 day tourist pass that will allow us to explore this small city in a less humid and sticky (and maybe also faster) way. We walked about 15 thousand steps - from our hotel to a couple food centers - the first and second didn’t really catch our eyes so we kept walking. We stumbled into some kind of outdoor shopping center, a lot of stalls with random things for sale - from wallets to fruits to cleansers and beyond. From there, we found a food stall with some yummy looking noodles that we purchased for S$1 (Singapore dollar) which is $.74=1 Singapore dollar. They were delicious, nutritious, and left us hungrier. We circled the joint and ended up getting a small bowl of laksa that was good, but a little spicy for my taste. After the laksa we thought we would head out and continue exploring, so started to make our way back to the hotel in hopes of being able to check in (and shower!). Luckily, by the time we got back, our hotel room was ready and we were able to freshen up before heading to Chinatown’s Maxwell Hawker Center.

The Bencoolen MRT station is about 35 steps outside our hotel, which makes transportation super easy, especially for any destination off the Downtown MRT line, which Chinatown qualifies for. We jumped on and headed towards the Hawker goodness. Emerging from the station, we were greeted with a festive street adorned with lanterns, shopping stalls, and tons of people. We perused the scene as we slowly made our way to the Maxwell Hawker Center to try the world famous Tian Tian Hainanese Chicken Rice. While crossing the street (read: jaywalking), we met a local who asked where we were from/where we were going, and started to chat as we were headed in the same direction. We asked him about Tian Tian and he said he while he loves it, he never goes because the line is always very long and takes about an hour. Hearing this news, hungry, hot and tired Heidi and Brett decided the wait wouldn’t be worth it, so asked what stalls he would recommend. He offered to take us to the eatery, so we followed. When we turned the corner, by some crazy stroke of magic, we found ourselves in front of a line-less Tian Tian and were able to place our order and get our food literally within one minute. It was an incredible streak of luck, and the hype is really worth it - the rice is so flavorful Brett dubbed it the best rice he has ever had. By the time we left the Hawker, the line was forming outside and around the building.

After eating we decided to continue exploring the city by foot, and made our way to the infamous Marina Bay Sands Hotel. Beautiful, iconic, and huge, we felt like we were in Vegas with the millions of restaurants, shops, escalators and signs. We made our way up to the 57th story and took in the views from the top. We checked out the ArtScience Museum and agreed to come back first thing in the morning to avoid the crowd. Then, we found our way back to the MRT station and headed to Little India. Only a couple stations away, we got out and started walking. Where Chinatown was lively with people everywhere selling and buying goods in outdoor stalls, Little India’s vibe was much calmer: streets lined with shops where people could pop in and upstairs if anything caught their fancy. Very few people were shopping in the markets, and there weren’t many people on the street. We came across a S$6 eyebrow threading station, so popped in for a quick touch up, but with not much else going on, we decided to make our way back to the hotel by foot. By this time in the afternoon the sun was no longer directly shining down on us - clouds had rolled in and provided a bit of cover to help make the walking a bit more tolerable. It was about a 30 minute walk, on which we found a vending machine that serves freshly squeezed orange juice for S$2 - something we couldn’t pass up. We watched the oranges get sliced and squeezed directly into a cup, and, once full, were able to remove the cup and drink cold, tart, freshly squeezed juice that absolutely hit the spot. A few doors down, we stumbled across a small dim sum house whose smells captivated our noses, forcing us to indulge in just a few dumplings.

From there, it was a quick walk back to the hotel. We were hot, sweaty, and tired, so thought taking a dip in the pool may give us a new wind. We changed into our suits and headed to the pool - only to find the water so cold that we actually opted for the hot tub. Crazy, I know, but after getting to the hotel room with the freezing artificial air blowing on our bodies, we were actually cold and happy for the hot tub. Plus, we had walked about 15,000 steps after being on a 17.5 hour flight, and the heat was not only healthy for our muscles, but a great excuse to stretch. At this point we had every intention to go out and grab dinner - but by the time we got back to our room and showered, we agreed we were pooped and thought a good night's’ rest would make the world of difference tomorrow. So, we got into bed, turned on the tv, and flipped around to see what Singapore News and TV was all about. Although we were OK staying in for the night, we were hellbent on not going to bed too early - we were aiming to stay up until 8 and it was only about 6 at this point. Starting to get hungry, I googled the closest, easiest, most affordable option, and wound up going downstairs to Baja Fresh and getting a burrito for us to split. I am not ashamed or embarrassed at all, although would have preferred any Mexican joint back home (obviously). We shared it in bed, until we were full, then brushed our teeth, hit the lights, and did some light research on the computer before PTFO.

Day two started earlier for Brett than it did for me. We woke up around 3:00 AM and forced ourselves to try to sleep a bit longer. I was able to (s/o to my favorite app, Calm, which helps me fall asleep and mediate and I cannot say enough great things about. If you want a free trial, LMK), but Brett was not as fortunate as me. So, he rested and I slept until about 6:20 AM, when there was no way I was going to be able to sleep for another second, so we got up and started our morning. And what’s a better to start your morning than going to the pool?! We couldn’t think of one, either, so that’s what we did. It wasn’t that hot yet, so we dipped in the pool and spent the majority of our 20-ish minutes out there in the hot tub. Then, we returned to our room, showered, and headed out to try a traditional Singaporean breakfast: Toast Box. We got Set 1: Kaya Toast with eggs and coffee. The coffee was excellent, and Brett liked the toast and eggs. I am not one for under cooked wet eggs, and I think Asia is all about those, so I have to be honest when I say I didn’t even try the egg. I did try the toast - it was perfectly toasted - some kind of sweet jam with butter and coconut. Interesting - good even, just a bit sweet for my liking. From there we thought we would head to the Merlion Statue to try to get a good picture before too many tourists showed up, but we got lost on the MRT (took the wrong line, rather) and decided to just head to the ArtScience Museum since we were much closer. After signing up for the Sands Reward Membership, we headed to the museum to buy our tickets at the amazing discount of BOGO. I highly recommend taking the 10 minutes to show your passport and get the rewards card - you get 3% cash back at all shops and restaurants in the hotel, plus great benefits and savings and the museums etc. While I signed up, Brett found me an apple, which I ate en route to the museum. We got our tickets and headed into the first exhibit: Future World.

The exhibit was interactive - featuring artworks that combine art and science to bring us inside natural worlds comprised of entirely digital technology. We grew flowers that we could project onto the walls, we planned where to put bridges and transit centers in cities, and would see how our choices affected the digital city; we went down slides, and played with huge balls of lights that made sounds. My favorite of the 6 rooms was the Space room - which used lights, mirrors and music to transport you to what felt like outer space: placing you in the stars of our galaxy. We took some cool pictures here, but mostly just enjoyed the changing light show that corresponded with the sounds coming from every corner of the room. We then headed to the Minimalism exhibit, which was basically a bunch of abstract art that didn’t start any joy for either of us. We stayed long enough to figure out a bomb Dim Sum restaurant to head to, and left the museum in search of lunch.

It was a fast MRT ride - about 2 stops and 2 blocks to the restaurant Swee Choon. It looked closed when we got there - big panels down over the windows - but we quickly learned this was to block the heat and found our way inside. We were careful to make sure our eyes weren’t bigger than our stomachs when ordering, and scarfed down the authentic and delicious food almost as quickly as it arrived. While eating, we looked up directions to Selfie Coffee - this little coffee shop on Hijab Street that prints your selfie on your coffee (or beer, or whatever you order). It was a 15 minute walk past Arab street, so we decided to brave the heat and take a stroll. When we got too hot, we would pop into a shop with AC and pretend to be shopping while really we were just cooling off and looking at all the things for sale. Then, we’d move on. Hijab street was super cute - maybe my favorite neighborhood of Singapore that we saw. Super hipster, with murals and vibrant colors along the walls and plants everywhere. There were tons of shops, cafes, and restaurants, among them Selfie Coffee. We went inside to find a line and that they only accept cash, so decided to pass on the $8 coffee. Instead, we wandered next door to a cute elephant shop, and found ourselves in a conversation with a funny local who was telling us all about where to go, what to eat, and tips to save money. He was so excited for us to be traveling and wouldn’t let us buy anything.

From there, we headed home via the MRT to nap. It was 90 degrees with 80% humidity, and we knew we wanted to return to the Museum to check out the last exhibit before the Gardens by the Bay’s light show. Before snoozing, we decided a final dip in the pool would be lovely and were able to brave the cold water in the hot heat… it felt great! Then, we took a solid hour nap, and headed to the Merlion Statue and to explore the downtown area. It was a 15 minute MRT ride and a 10 minute walk along the waterfront, with beautiful views of the Marina Bay Sands Hotel.

So, we grabbed an iced coffee from Starbucks and started strolling. We ended up walking to the tourist-infested statue, then around the water past a pop up amusement park and into the Shoppes, and onto the ArtScience Museum. We went back through the Future World exhibit and then checked out the last exhibit - All Possible Paths: Richard Feynman’s Curious Life. It was interesting, I kept thinking how much my mom would love it. After that we headed to the food court for a quick chicken rice and then off to the gardens for the Spectra Light Show. A free, twice-a-night light and music show that was absolutely incredible.

Once the show concluded we, along with hundreds of others, we moved like a herd of cows slowly to the MRT to head to Lau Pa Sat, also known as Telok Ayer Market, which is also casually referred to as “Satay Street”. It’s a historic building located within the Downtown Core area of Singapore, and by day it has some shops, but by night it becomes an outdoor eating oasis. We grabbed a beer and some satay from “The Best 7&8” stall - chicken, beef, and shrimp - and took in the noises, smells and sights while we waited and ate. This all seems innocent, but we quickly learned an important lesson here: don’t order before confirming prices. Our food was paid for and delivered no problem, but the beer was another story. The waitress came to drop off the beer, asking for S$5.5. As I got the money out to pay, Brett refused it - saying there is no way he would pay that much for such a small cup of beer. The waitress didn’t like this, and started arguing with him and ended up pseudo-cursing him, saying something about his mother and future wife and kids. Sitting there, I could only be a little concerned and wonder if the S$5.5 could really be the savior of our future, but, before i could wonder for too long the lady gave up and left us alone. Leaving us with the lesson of asking prices before ordering to avoid confrontations and curses.

Finishing our food, we decided to just head home, as tomorrow would be a long day, and decided to head home and turn in. We hopped on the MRT and noticed for the first time we would be passing Orchard Street, so decided to stay out just a bit longer to check out this famous epicentre of shopping in Singapore. While it was definitely decadent, malls on malls with stores and boutiques and eateries of all kinds...it was also just a lot of shopping. We enjoyed the walk but didn’t really shop too hard, as we are on a budget and things will get a lot cheaper once we get to Thailand. We ended up walking back to the hotel - only about 20 minutes or so - and didn’t really get into anything special: we packed our stuff, set an alarm, and jotted down our spending for the day before hitting the lights and the hay.

6:30 came early, and we must have been excited or jet lagged, because we were up and out of the hotel by 7:04 and en route to the airport. It was an easy MRT ride, and before long we were checked into our flights, baggage dropped off at the counter, and our biggest worries were which Priority Pass Lounge we would check out first. We had 2.5 hours until boarding and we wanted to spend them well. So, we did just that! We ended up preferring the second of the two lounges - a Japanese Restaurant that offered free breakfast - Brett got the traditional Japanese breakfast, consisting of a huge slab of salmon, rice, soup, octopus, and undercooked eggs. I went for the American breakfast and deeply regretted it. I doubt I’ll get used to uncooked eggs and I have a hunch that they love not cooking eggs in Singapore, or maybe even the greater SEA region. After finishing our breakfasts, we had one thing left to do - get some birthday bubbles. We stopped by the duty free shop and got a beautiful bottle of Veuve to pop in Thailand, then went through customs and boarded our flight! Stay tuned for what unfolds next...

Some other interesting callouts about Singapore we forgot to weave into the above:

You can immediately tell how clean the city is. It’s pristine. Well done, Singapore.

The MRT, as mentioned, is the #1 way to get around. The government taxes people who drive a TON of money, which keeps most people out of cars on the street, and encourages them to use the metro or other public transport. Therefore, the government can easily use all MRT stations as a platform to influence and inform their people. We were impressed to see so many videos, ads, posters, etc about what to do in an emergency, how to get help, etc. This can be excellent in informing people on what to do (IE - huge campaign awareness about molestation at the moment, so high visibility and encouragement for women to speak up and seek help if necessary) but also they take every opportunity to remind people of punishments associated with breaking laws, which we thought was a bit gruesome. Definitely an element of fear in the culture, which keeps the city clean and sketch people at minimum. 

Crimes are heavily enforced, and punishments are kinda crazy. Building off the example I shared about their molestation campaign, we did a bit more research as the signs say “You will be fined and caned.” in bold red letters. That’s right, you read it - CANED. So we dug in a little more to learn that only men can be charged with molestation, and, SINGAPORE CANES PEOPLE! How cruel and unusual. If you’re interested in learning more, check out more info on this law - it sure blew our minds.

Singapore is an expensive city, so not the best for two backpackers hoping to stretch our dollars to travel the world for a year. However, it is also a city of amazing food, which is very hard for this little foodie to pass up. Don’t get me wrong - there are definitely ways to easily spend a ton of money on food, but there are amazing options for delicious and cheap eats, if you are willing embrace the street food! (Fun fact: did you know that Singapore is the only place where a street food vendor - yes, someone who sells a dish for S$5 - ⁣has earned a Michelin Star!?) Anyway, the place to eat while minding your wallet are the “hawker centers” - well-known, government monitored for food safety, and are packed with delicious, local and cheap cuisine. The price competition is fierce, so you can eat really well for not much.⁣ Unfortunately, these hawker center may not last too much longer as we know them today. We learned from locals that most of the younger generation has no interest in cooking or learning the art of food. Instead, they want to a different life (office jobs, tech, etc), which parents are supportive of. However, this means these stands, where one recipe has been perfected over decades, may cease to exist.

Holy humidity, this place is HOT HOT HOT!!

For those of you curious, we spent $422 USD including everything (ie - food, transport, hotel, even the Veuve - which was duty free but still $61 USD) while in Singapore! This is obviously above our daily average goal, but when booking the hotel I thought I was using a $200 hotels.com voucher which ended up not working, so we have $200 savings towards hotels elsewhere in our trip. Excluding the hotel and the champagne, we would have spent $145. (We also didn’t need to buy the full passes to the museum - the Future World exhibit would have quenched our thirst and gave us back S$20! But, oh well! If you are interested in more detailed budget info, let me know!

[rowanfoster]

{ haley lu richardson ♔ twenty-three ♔ she/her } well, well, well if it isn’t rowan foster running around peach hollow. legend has it, she comes from tangerine towers and has lived here her entire life. if you’re wondering what she’s been up to, i hear she’s a make up artist / freelance musician for a living. she has been known to be impulsive yet insightful. a word of advice to her, always look over your shoulder. you never know who is watching.

why yes, it is i, admin kim, with another character that should’ve been kept in the drafts of my mind. if you’ve not met daysia or serenity, here’s a lil low down on me. i’m 26, i use she/her pronouns, and live on the east coast. i thrive on writing angst and my animal crossing villagers being happy. also caffeine. i luv chris klemens. most likely to have a mental breakdown on twitter. meet rowan! trigger warnings for mental illness, bipolar disorder specifically, and inpatient treatment

have a playlist and a pinterest board dedicated to her

rowan celeste foster was born may 27th, 1996. she’s the oldest of two, a baby sister coming to the scene in 1999.

her family is extremely close. they’ve been in peach hollow their whole lives. she grew up in a crowded house on blueberry boulevard, crammed in with her mother, father, sister, maternal grandmother and maternal grandfather. rowan never knew peace or privacy growing up – it just wasn’t possible with that many people which has really contributed to her somewhat isolated adulthood

her mother is a charge nurse at peach hollow general, working on the emergency room floor. her father is a retired car salesman. her grandparents moved into the house when her sister was born in order to help take care of the girls while their parents worked full time. rowan is especially grateful for their care, because she feels like she’d be a little more sour had she been raised by absent parents.

growing up, she shared a room with her younger sister. they told each other everything because they had no choice not to. they both developed an interest in make up and music at very young ages, but rowan particularly took to those things while maci took more interest in sports. when rowan was gifted her first ukulele at age 6, maci got her first basketball. they are polar opposites, but maci was the only person rowan really confided in as a child and an adolescent.

she’d always been rather moody. tantrums and fits were nearly unavoidable. her self esteem lacked before she even had a chance to develop any confidence. she was always the try hard, the girl who stood out because she was just a little different, the emotional one, the one the other kids didn’t want to mess with, not because she’d fight back, but because she would absolutely lose it. there were countless times where rowan ended up in the guidance counselor’s office, waiting on her grandmother to show up and bring her home. that was the beginning of their problems.

her mental health really started to decline in her mid teenage years. she spent hours upon hours in her room, writing songs, playing guitar, practicing make up looks – she’d go days without sleeping and snap at anyone who crossed her path. she got into screaming matches with everyone in the house, only to find herself crying in her bed for the next few days. she started missing days at a time from school, while her artistry thrive, the rest of her crumbled. her grades, all of it.

eventually, this resulted in her parents yanking her out of peach hollow high and putting her in counseling, which lead her to a psychiatrist and a diagnosis of bipolar disorder at the age of 17. while it made sense, she dreaded taking the medications. they numbed everything. her writing suffered, and while her moods weren’t swinging from the trees anymore, she feared that this empty feeling was worse.

she finished her high school diploma in homeschooling with her grandmother while maci went on to thrive in school. the attention shifted to her, and rowan couldn’t really blame them. she turned 18 and started performing in clubs, bars, and anywhere she could get in. ps her voice is a mix of bishop briggs & mary lambert. the thrill of performing to small crowds sucked her in. she began to gain an even smaller following on social media, mainly the locals following her. every once in a while she’ll book a show in atlanta and she’ll make the long drive just to sing in front of a bit of a larger crowd. she’ll gain a few followers from those shows, but this still isn’t her main source of income.

most of her money comes from the make up artistry she does through pop of peach. she doesn’t go in every day, but when someone has an event scheduled or needs their make up done for a dance or something, she’s there. she tries to spread things out bc she’s always late lmao and finds it hard to stick to a schedule

she was doing so well for a few years, even moved out of her parents’ house and into an apartment at the towers. that’s where she really found herself, made some real friends and built relationships that were good for her. however, she missed a few doctor’s appointments and was discharged from her psychiatrist’s office. she went off meds, and for a few weeks it was fine. when she ran out of meds, the next few weeks were okay as well. it was when every single drop of medication had drained from her body that things got bad.

rowan was missing appointments she scheduled at pop of peach. she was spending far too much time out at nights, giving in to alcohol for the most part. she tried not to touch any drugs, but drinking became a nightly thing. she’d perform, then spend the rest of the night partying with whoever she could find at the venue.

one night in atlanta after a particularly shaky performance, rowan found herself in a dark place and simply went into the women’s bathroom to calm down, but police say they found her laying flat on the ground, refusing to respond to anyone. she vaguely remembers the end of the manic episode, but it did land her in the emergency room for a change in mental status.

much to her chagrin, they admitted her overnight before transporting her to skyland trail, a mental health facility in atlanta. she spend about two and a half months there getting medications regulated and learning new coping mechanisms. she was discharged about two weeks ago and finally made it back to peach hollow and her apartment.

she’d lead everyone other than her family and maybe one or two other people that she was away on a musician’s retreat, but really, was in inpatient treatment.

she’s currently working full time as a make up artist at pop of peach and performing when she can, but doesn’t really go outside of peach hollow

fun facts & personality

rowan despises small talk. conversations about the weather or political climate don’t stimulate her and she gets snarky pretty easily. it isn’t that she wants to come off rude or unapproachable, but nine times out of ten, small talk is fake and she feels as though she doesn’t have the time or energy to indulge in it. ask her about the sky or some shit. she won’t shut up

she has a tendency to overshare,  aside from what’s been going on in the past few months. her lips are sealed tight about that. however, she’s open to talking about her mental health and is a big advocate for erasing the stigma. this makes rowan a very good listener and a huge supportive presence for anyone struggling. she’s the mom friend, and no matter what time of day or night, if someone says they need an ear, she’ll go to them. she knows what it’s like to be alone.

despite her past and her demons, rowan finds a way to put on a smile. it might often be snarky or sarcastic, but rarely is it insincere. she’s an empath and feels everything so very deeply, but can easily put it away when necessarily.

her apartment is her safe haven. she rarely has company. it isn’t really her thing. she prefers to go to other people’s places. she has her record collection proudly displayed on her living room wall, all the plants you can imagine, incense burning whenever she’s home, and a scottish fold munchkin cat named loonette after her favorite childhood tv show, the big comfy couch. she has hopes to get another cat named molly to match. you know, because we’re all clowns !

she takes great pride in her instagram. it sounds superficial, but often times, rowan will post a good picture and then link to her next show in hopes that somebody will come based on that. while she does have a passion for make up and a second instagram for it, ultimately, she’d like for there to come a time where she can live solely on the money she makes through music

catch her driving her old ass ford focus blaring 00s alternative, mainly fuckin paramore bc she’s heart eyes for hayley williams

wanted connections if ya made it this far!!!!

childhood friends – those who she’s known since elementary school. they’ve most likely watched her go through her many trials and tribulations in class. these could be acquaintances, close friends, or even a ride or die or two.

bullies – people who fucked with her through school. it’s essential that they’re on bad terms currently, but perhaps an enemy turned friend or romantic could be fun??

group therapy pal – this would be super fun and might entail the person finding out about her secret…. msg me for deets

exes – there will be a couple of these, gender does not matter. i’d like to find one that she was dating when she went into treatment and maybe hasn’t seen/spoken to them since they’ve been back, first love, high school sweetheart?? omg possibilities are endless

flirtationship – self explanatory, gender doesn’t matter she’s pan

any other ideas literally lmk!! thanks for reading ♥