#if anyone wants any art process rambles just ask

[lesbiansanemi]

Things to make me lie down and contemplate everything. 400 ppl liking my writing enough that they want a notification when there’s something new

[alllgator-blood]

I posted these on reddit a while ago and I've gotten multiple messages asking if I had any other social media? Which I didn't at the time, but after years of not bothering to post my art I think that was the boost I needed to finally re-emerge from the rock I've been living under.

ANYWAY uhhhhhh I've drawn these guys so much since I posted this that they might look a little different when I eventually post my newer art of them. Mostly because I don't bother drawing the little crosses on their heads anymore besides on leshy because frankly the antennae are really funny. If anyone has any questions about my hcs or what I intend to do with the characters, my ask box is open and I don't have anything better to do than endlessly ramble about gods that 100% would rip my head off immediately if I ever encountered them!

SPEAKING OF WHICH, the reception I got for these on reddit was way more positive than I was expecting which I am immensely grateful for, but there was definitely some miscommunication about the afab shamura headcanon so I'm just gonna dump about that below the cut if you want to hear me ramble about my nonbinary-ness for a while:

OKAY SO it's canon that the bishops were feral little animals before they found their crowns, right? Leshy and Shamura both talk about it during their follower quests. Feral animals do not have a concept of gender, only biological sex, so if they ascended to sapient godhood they would suddenly have a grasp of gender. My hc is that Shamura was a female feral spider, ascended to godhood, lost their bio sex in the process as with all the other bishops, and was just like "you know what? I don't want to be anything. This is kinda swag actually" so they just became War and Grief and Cosmic Horror incarnate. I am fucking desperate for any relatable enby representation in the media I like, so I just want to clarify me saying they were female at some point just is me going "I am living vicariously through this character who shed their mortal flesh prison to be an eldritch spider war god devoid of any sex characteristics" and not "I'm one of those numerous people who for some reason lumps this canonically agender character in with a binary sex". Anyway thank you for reading this far, here's an unfinished voidpunk shamura from a pride flag color palette thing I did of the bishops:

[mapicccc]

Hi! I know I just sent you an ask a few hours ago but uhm. There's something on my mind.

So I've only been into lifesteal for like. 3 weeks? Maybe a bit more or less. Point being is that I don't know anything about the SMPs history other than the couple of videos I watch & what people live blog about season 6 LMAO. Anyway not important I'm just rambling LMAO sorry I get rambly in these.

ANYWAYS. My question is: When did Devotion Duo start? From what I gather it seems it was around season 4? but idk if that's right. All I know is that they'd had to have been together for a while for their relationship to be where it is now.

I just thought I'd asks since their dynamic seems to be fun & all the analytic posts I find about them seem very interesting (also all the art bangs. not a single miss that I've seen so far). So I'm interested in the very start of it and how it was.

Thought I'd ask you since you seem like the Devotion Expert around these parts /silly.

technicallyyyyy they go all the way to s2 when zam was added and have teamed at least partially Every Season since then, but due to s2 vods missing + a lot of current fandom members (including me) getting in during s4 + Their Arc happening then, s4 is veryyy popular with them.

short version, I have a list of vods going over one arc that revolves around them here

what i mean by Their Arc:

a small break down of s4 with them, zam first got back on ls about a month late so everyone else was already in teams, he kinda just gravitated towards mapicc and ro (teammate awesome) before officially joining them (vod here, around 3:38. zam works in a lot of their plans, he was a part of the prison (a short event where TA locked players in and offered a reward to get them out), medusa (lead by roshambo and helped by mapicc & zam, he worked to turn spawn building into obituary and covered his tracks by trying to seem like they were the ones searching for the culprit), and most notably, dupe war. dupe war was a project by spoke invloslving mass during of items and gear, claiming to use it to defeat another team (APO, not crazy important here) (in reality it was involved with wormhole stuff but fell through). as lot of dupe war wasn't streamed so we don't know exactly zams thought process through it all, but at the end of the war when all exploits were meant to be destroyed, mapicc revealed he and spoke hid away some stashes. zam was acting like this was fine while they were there but spent a Considerable amount of time after they had left debating taking these dupe stashes, ultimately deciding they would be best in his hands.

this was the catalyst for castle arc, an arc revolving around devotions and affecting them Heavily.

mapicc saw it as a betrayal, and did not take kindly. when they had their team awesome meeting (commonly referred to as Home sweet home, hsh for short) to confront zam, numerous times mapicc mentions wishing he could go with what zam said but no longer trusting him. I Highly recommend watching this vod if not any others, it is the single vod is have watched the most. I also have a transcript of it here (don't mind the typos, I still haven't gotten around to editing it)

and All of that is just lead up to castle arc, where mapicc hunts zam down again and again and again. while not part of castle arc, over the course of almost the whole season mapicc finds 4(mightve been 5?) of zams bases, it's a scene of hatred and carnage and violence.

and yet.

they still end the season together.

mapicc still choses zam over anyone else, over ro who had been by his side the entire time, over spoke who gave him power, he wanted to end the server with zam as the chaos of wormhole was concluding.

they really are a despite everything situation. anyone else would have refused to work together after what they had been through, but that wasn't even the first time they fought together after the betrayal. they have this constant yearning to be by each other's sides, whether that be for or against.

a very important quote for them, the source of their name, "and all of my devotion turns violent"

soooo that's s4!!!!!!!!!!! I'm gonna be honest I don't know s5 devotions that well (would recommend asking @derww about them if you want to know more) as for s6 there's just. so many small things. mapicc wanting zam to come back to fighting after refusing for so long, being so excited when he agrees. early empire streams he was wishing he was teaming with zam again. zam Constantly bringing up mapicc yesterday when thinking about teaming with derap. like he did Not need to do that. it's so amazing the way their devotion has evolved.

I've had issues in the past with links not embedding so also putting them down here in order just in case

[happypot0001]

⚠️Most characters belong to @just-a-carrot!⚠️

Hello! I’m bored, I wanted to draw, and I like you!

*Gives you Hunar x Bucks (Belongs to @just-a-carrot) fan art doodle*

Go support @just-a-carrot, the creator who made the amazing game “Our Wonderland”!

Lots of love to anyone reading! 💕

Rambling -

Hello! So, I included a cut in this post because I realize that I kind of talk A LOT about my process with art, so to make my blog more…scroll-able(???)…I decided to add a cut to make my posts look shorter! Also, if there are people who don’t really care about the process, this is for them as well! Under the cut, you’ll most likely see me talking about the art, how it came to be, and extra doodles (If there are any) !

If you have been following along with my Tumblr, you’ll see that I previously mentioned before that I had been busy from July 16. Well, not anymore!!! IM FREE!! Honestly the thing I was busy with was SUPER fun but I’m extremely exhausted after it. I’m glad I can finally focus a bit more on making some art! It has made me so happy making art for people and seeing them happy with the art I make them! 💖 I love posting my art on Tumblr really like almost everyone I’ve interacted with online has showed me nothing but kindness! I cant name these people because 1. I don’t want to bother them by tagging them in my post and 2. There would be WAY too many names pfft. Just know that I appreciate everyone and I’ll be trying to post! 🥹

I want to talk about why I did Hunar and Bucks! Im just going to say, Hunar and Bucks are probably one of the only straight ships that I actually kind of like. When I first played “Our Wonderland”, I hadn’t known that it would be a queer game! So when I got introduced to one of the first canon couple that was (kind of) straight, I was like “huh, oh well” and I kept on playing. THATS HOW GOOD THE GAME WAS!!! 🥕 GAVE ME A (AGAIN, KIND OF) STRAIGHT COUPLE AND I STILL PLAYED!!!! Nothing wrong with straight couples in general, I want to establish that pfffft. I just anyway like Hunar, he’s a cute lil’ guy! Don’t look at the feet, I had struggled with those pffft 🤣 Also, officially my first time drawing Hunar!!! I guess this is also officially my first time drawing Bucks in doodle form???!!! If you hadn’t noticed, I had put Hunar in the clothes that he had at the very end of the game because I REALLY liked how he looked there <3 I put Bucks in her normal clothes because I thought they looked better than the softball ones only because I’m imagining that they’re just at home cuddling. And then when you expand on that, you would think “Well, why is Bucks wearing her softball clothes if they’re just chilling at home?” You know? Pfffft

I knew that after I was done with the thing I was so busy with, I wanted to have a drawing/doodle to post. So, I was thinking of who to draw and I was getting into like couple stuff. It was like Cecil x Orlam and Genzy, but those ones are really special ones. So, I decided to leave them for another day! Like, I have a TON of “Our Wonderland’ ideas that I want to do! But, I’m REALLY REALLY slow so if you want to see my ideas, you sadly have to be patient 😭 Like Orlam is honestly invading my mind why is he in there???? I also had another doodle idea that I DID create but decided not to make it the main post because I thought it was stupid and you’ll see why:

“Uhhhh….Pot? What is this?” You may ask. Well, since I was so tired after my thing, I had been wanting to draw myself tired! Does anyone else do that? Like, if you’re crying or you’re happy, you want to draw you or someone else happy or crying? That’s literally me pfft! I’m not going to call this my sona, I’m just going to refer to this character as “me” because I don’t have a definite sona yet. This is temporary so don’t get too attached pffft. I just thought that I’d include her because I drew her anyway so….enjoy????

Uhhh anyway this is just a collection of silly doodles upon my arrival so I hope you really like them! Just one thing I wanted to point out since I can make the topic about Hunar, did anyone notice the hair clips in the Art Fight attack I did for 🥕 were based off of Hunar’s hair clip?? The story is that Bucks invited Gidget over for a sleepover because Hunar had been out for something, maybe something to do with his books, and so Bucks came up with the idea to have a no boys night! Gidget had brought some hair clips because they’re prepared for anything but Bucks was probably like “No, we should take this opportunity to steal Hunar’s hair clips while he’s away” because she’s a mischievous little thing and I guess somehow Gidget obliged pfffffft! I’d love for anyone to leave a comment if you did notice the clip thing! I thought the little detail would have been noticeable but if it wasn’t I wanted to point it out now! I appreciate anyone to took the time to read all of my ranting heh!!!! Again, go support @just-a-carrot, the creator who made the amazing game “Our Wonderland”!

Have a wonderful day/night! Again, lots of love to anyone reading💗💕

[sincerely-sofie]

I saw your tag about meeting your boyfriend because of posting on Tumblr and I'm very curious as to how that happened. Like, did you find each other's blogs, saw you had stuff in common and met up IRL? What happened? Please give us details (if you're willing to talk about it, no worries if not!)

Also, for a boyfriend tag, may I suggest... Calcium. Cuz you're a skeleton and calcium makes bones stronger... I'll see myself out

(Referencing the tags of this post)

Oh my gosh. Buddy you have just opened up Pandora’s box. Brace yourself for the most adorable couple origin story ever.

He followed me fairly early on into the process of me posting my work on Tumblr. I don’t remember exactly, but I think my TPiaG mini comic “Heart-to-Heartbreak” was the first post he ever reblogged from me. After that, he was super enthusiastic and involved with my blog and engaged with basically every post I ever made. This guy was one of THE followers of my work— if I posted something, he was always there to like it and share super thoughtful commentary or hilarious jokes.

I absolutely adored him even back then, and we had barely exchanged a handful of messages on Tumblr where he thanked me for inspiring him to get back into art and writing, and I blubbered about how meaningful that was to me. We eventually followed each other on Spotify and I think that’s about the point when I really should have realized I had it bad for him. I was CONSTANTLY rambling to my mom about how much I wanted to be this internet stranger’s best friend, but I was super hesitant because our family has been huge on online stranger danger and never really talking to anyone unless you know exactly who they are in real life. I’m an adult and all, yeah, but I was still super anxious about internet strangers at large— though he never once made me uncomfortable or wary :>

Eventually, he made a goofy post about it being his birthday, and I bolted to tell my mom about that and how I didn’t have enough time that day to polish up any content of his favorite characters I’ve written and post it as a gift for him. I was utterly distraught and pretty much full-on monologuing to my ever-so patient mother about how much I wanted to befriend this man and how amazing he was and how shy I felt about the matter, and she looked me dead in the eyes and told me to ask him if he wanted to message each other more and get to know each other better.

I sent him a message over Tumblr, we exchanged Discord usernames, and I’m pretty sure it was just over a week of messaging and getting to know each other more and more every day later when he told me he thought he was in love with me— to which I very eloquently rattled off a bunch of nonsense that ended in “I don’t know how to communicate this other than by saying ‘dude, same’.”

After that, we’ve only gotten more and more mutually obsessed. Thankfully he’s in the same country as me, and we’re even timezone neighbors, so he’s not on the opposite side of the world— and when I realized some of my household were going on a trip to the same state where he lived for a family wedding, I SCRAMBLED to insert myself into that trip last-minute. We had originally thought that we’d meet up when he could drive to my state (a process that would take a long time because of some complicating factors), but when I realized my family were flying down there, I was practically foaming at the mouth with the thought of seeing him so much sooner. We met up not that long ago and were even able to meet some of each other’s family members (my family absolutely adores him, and I think his likes me a fair bit too, hehe). But listen: when I tell you I adored him before, I was absolutely head-over-heels for him when we met in person. I got to hug him and I had this thought come to mind of “Oh. This is the person I want to marry.” And I’ve never once doubted it :>

During the times we met up we mostly sat around and basked in each other’s presence and stared at each other. I ended up breaking eye contact a lot because I kept getting flustered and also because this man is TALL and I had to periodically rest my neck 😂 I was able to give him some pins I had made of our PMD team that represents us, and my boyfriend. My boyfriend, you guys. He had the gall to send me a screenshot of an eBay listing of the world’s most adorable Snorlax plush weeks before while we were on a call together, bought it immediately after I had said I loved the plush’s face as we hung up, and then GAVE ME IT WHEN WE MET UP.

Look at him. That’s my son now. I was trying to think of what to name the little guy when my toddler niece dubbed him Tummy. My boyfriend approves of the monicker— as he should, because it’s the bestest name for the bestest boy.

TL;DR— He followed me on tumblr, I desperately wanted to be friends with him and sent him my Discord username on his birthday, we exchanged “I love you”s a week later, and I was almost sick on a plane because I was so excited to see him during a trip to his state for a family member’s wedding. We are absolutely obsessed with each other and kind of instantly Knew from the get-go that we’re going to be each other’s Person™️.

As for the tag, I'm not sure I’ll go with it but I’m starting to consider “The Boyfriend Bird Feeder”, because it works out to the acronym BFBF which I find funny, I mainly want to make the tag as a way for him to easily find posts where I’m talking about how amazing he is whenever he needs a pick-me-up (and so people can block the tag if they find me raving about my man so much annoying lol), and his persona that we spent all day yesterday cooking up looks like this:

[imagionationstation]

Hi! I read your TMNT 2012 separated au that you made with ellestrade and it really gave me brainworms so I wrote a small one-shot for it! The characters kinda ended up writing themselves haha.

anyways, wanted to share it with you and also make sure that you're okay with it. Not sure how you feel about other people taking inspiration from you ideas, so if you would like me to take it down, just let me know!

Thanks for sharing such fun ideas. Here's the post (I've also tagged you in it but sometimes tags are weird and don't always show. Also its on my fandom specific sideblog, but I am the same person haha)

Gotta love those brain worms! (Ironic statement from a 2012 viewpoint, actually-) HOLY CHALUPA, BRAIN WORMS IN THIS AU UNIVERSE, WAIT WAIT ACTUALLY WAIT-

*background rambles and spazzing*

Okay, I’m back.

I’m always a-okay with whatever fan things anyone wants to create with inspiration from something I made or helped make. As long as it isn’t containing some stamp that says “this I deem canon” when neither me (nor my partner) deemed it canon, no one ever has to worry with me getting upset over some story/comic/art.

I’m going to give some thoughts and I want to disclaimer.

When I discuss my thoughts on your POV of events in the AU, I will never, in any way, intend to diss or attack the story. I think the flow was excellent and Raph’s analysis of the events occurring was intriguing. I loved it! And nothing I say will be a statement otherwise.

But, since I have a distinct inability to keep my mouth shut when it comes to turtles and you asked, I have thoughts 🧐

My brain is now turning and ya’ll have to deal.

Characterization:

Donnie: Much distrust. Much sass. A strong sense of duty to defend his brethren turtles who don’t deserve it but he’s doing it anyway.

Very on point. Much approval 👌

Mikey: Could not be more perfect. I love him. Sweet soul ✨

Leo: He’s a bit less… Forceful. Cold and calculating. Than I envision.

I’d imagine that he had to learn to shut feelings down in order to survive. Fidgeting/smiling/visibly hesitating is out of the question. Staying in Shredder’s graces meant learning to play the game. His silence is what earns Raph the ability to be loud. The only times that he’s himself is when him and Raph are alone, outside of the sight of cameras, or when someone in is danger and fear/fury overwhelms all else. He seems bland to outsiders and it takes the Hamato brothers a while to see that that he’s just a scared little boi at heart that’s just trying his best in a cruel world.

He’s also set in his beliefs, so he’s going to assume that they’re being tormented mentally, if not physically. There’s no place in his mind that wonders if they were actually safer elsewhere.

I do like your POV, though. Plenty for me to play with.

Raph:

He’s ABSOLUTELY the first to question the differences between how Shredder treats them and how Splinter treats their brothers. He doesn’t jump the gun, but as devoted as he is, he’s never really liked Shredder. I love the implications that he’s been filing away concerns subconsciously and his brain keeps poking him like “HELLO?!”

He’s very deep. I can’t decide how I feel about that 🤔

Shredder would have wanted to fan that temper into something unforgiving and vile. Or course, that doesn’t mean he stops being a sensitive soul. It could… Have something to do with Shredder manipulating him into being angry when he wills it (basically all the time) and solemn and still when he doesn’t (such as during lectures, punishments, etc).

His brain registers this situation as one where he’s not meant to be loud and angry, and so he’s kinda… Shut down. Sassy, but mellow. Processing. Adapting. Letting what happens happen because he’s not meant to stop it.

It’s a reason that Leo gets so defensive when punishments come into play. It forces Raph to feel small. It make him vulnerable.

HOLY MOTHER OF MUTATIONS- I AM IN LOVE WITH THIS NEW TAKE ON THE AU @ellestrade TELL ME IF I’M ONTO SOMETHING

Anyway, commentary:

“in one of Takeō's strategy books he couldn't care less about”

It’s like Space Heroes. He claims so and YET he read, recalls, AND clearly has DEBATED the passage so I call sus vibes.

I get giddy when I think of Takeō discovering Space Heroes-

“Junkō and Kōta— or Donnie and Mikey, whatever false name they’d been given—”

My brain made connections. I don’t know if it was intended, but I always believe that they knew them by Shredder’s names through the beginning of season one, end of season one/beginning of season two they were associating them as both, and then by the time that the City is under attack, they’ve adapted to using their real names. (But the Saki brothers still keep their Foot names.)

So, now I assume this is somewhere in that middle plot.

Fun little Easter egg~

“Takeō and Akihitō were the offense, and Donnie and Mikey were the defense” “They held their own. In fact, they dominated.”

I’m in love with Raph’s simple acknowledgment of their roles in battle. It’s a very practical outline of exactly how their dynamic on the field plays out and he's so certain of his place.

On the other hand, I’m a bit uncertain about whether they’d dominate. I do believe that they are trained and can hold their own, but I don’t know about them being as impressive as Raph&Leo, simply because Splinter trained them to defend and Shredder trained them to kill. The Hamato brothers haven’t had much time to practice in the offensive, especially since that’s Leo&Raph’s job. (In non-AU canon, they are all offensive/defensive.)

I think Mikey might learn that kinda strength at the farmhouse after being taught by Leo&Raph, and Donnie will step back from that, finally finding his place not as a fighter/leader, but as a scientist.

Definitely an interesting take, tho 🤔

“Only now does he think that, perhaps, there was a reason their master made their primary weapons blunts and not blades.”

I am chewing on this line so hard. It’s so powerful.

I can’t even tell you why. It just is.

“Akihitō knows that Takeō isn’t lying. He’d already tried to take tonight's blame all on his own shoulders, spare Akihitō of the punishment. But Akihitō knows all his tricks and he won’t let his brother suffer alone. Again.”

100% behind Raph learning to butt in when Leo tries to take the fall as they get older and punishments get worse.

“Seeing the situation, the evidence glaring at him, Akihitō cannot deny that this wasn’t exactly a great sell. Takeō and him are tied to the ground, trying to convince these two strangers that they would be safe with them. That their clan would not hurt them while that same clan was just about ready to beat them to a pulp.”

I was thinking the same thing 🤣

Leo, dude, seriously. Look around. Think for a second. You are not selling your point. You are doing the opposite.

In the end, it doesn’t even matter. Sensei will always find them no matter where they run. It was better to follow than be chased.

SOMEONE NEEDS TO TEACH THESE KIDS THAT THIS IS A TOXIC RELATIONSHIP. YOU SHOULD NOT FEEL MOTIVATED TO STAY WITH DAD BECAUSE HE WILL FORCED YOU TO REMAIN OTHERWISE. BRUH. RED FLAG.

These were Foot Ninja binds made specifically to hold them. Mutant strength and all.

It makes sense that Shredder would make these. But.

But man. He made those. For them.

Takeō tries to take control of the situation again, the bossy oldest sibling coming out in him.

HA. Got him. Leo is Leo in any universe.

“His name is Mikey.” Donnie glares. “The rat is lying and he has—” “Donnie, its fine.”

Absolutely how they view things. Mikey doesn’t care what they think or do as long as no one he cares about is paying the price. Donnie feels it is a manner of principle that they accept logic and truth.

Leo talking over both of them is valid. This kid, I swear.

“Then tell your older brother to shut up about—”

LEO IS IT OFFICIAL YOU HAVE BEEN DISOWNED

“Sounds like a you-problem.” Donnie stands. “Mikey, we saved them. It's time to go.”

Donnie would die for them <3

A hand lands on his shoulder, and he recognizes it. Takeō always knows when to give support. He’s a good brother. He hopes Donnie and Mikey will know that one day too.

OH. OKAY. WELL. 🥺

THOSE FEELS CAME OUT OF NOWHERE-

He loved his big bro sm hjkhkjhkjhjkkjhkjhkjhku

If Akihitō didn’t know any better, he’d say it was longing.

Oh, don’t worry, he is dying to have other people in his life who genuinely care for him, but as long as you guys are with the enemy, you’re a threat to his baby brother and daddy and not to be trusted

And, just maybe, it could be their world too. 

Oh, so that’s what pain feels like. Glad to be reminded.

[gophergal]

Author Commentary - I Know Where to Look (Chapter 1)

Howdy y'all! I just posted the first chapter of my first tf2 fic, and figured that rambling about my thought processes from writing it would be fun. So, enjoy?

Welcome to my first Author Commentary post!

Regardless of if anyone other than my best bud (and partner in word crimes) @cursed—alien read these going forward, I thought it would be fun to explain references and thoughts from the process of fic writing. These are the sort of thing I love to know about my favorite art. I’m a great lover of artist interviews (specifically the ones where the artist in question explains the development of the concept and reasoning for the techniques they use) and an avid reader of author’s notes, so I hope that if anyone reading my fic is like me that they will enjoy this addition to the story.

Formatting

I feel that the most notable thing about this fic is that, despite being rated as explicit, every explicitly sexual scene is under a cut. Why do this instead of just making the scenes fade to black or formatting it in a standard manner? Because, dear reader, I have had the experience of reading explicitly rated fic solely for the buildup to the smut scenes. I experience fluctuations between sex favorability to neutrality, all the way to aversion. When I’m feeling uncomfortable with explicit sexual content, I often wish there was a way to just skip those scenes entirely. But on the other hand, I also acknowledge that sex scenes CAN have narrative and character importance. For the specific dynamic that Corey and I envisioned for Red Oktoberfest- that being a relationship that starts as professional and sexual before becoming emotionally involved, those scenes would be a shame to ignore entirely on my part.

Behaviors and thoughts during sexual intimacy are rich with characterization, and I wanted to be able to express that. So, the best of both worlds, to me, was to have a second layer of opting in to reading those scenes. I may have to redo them later, however, because the way I had to go about it doesn’t work with pdf downloads and likely isn’t screen reader accessible. My current thoughts in regards to those problems is to encourage folks to download as some other format, and eventually create a podfic of this story.

Headcanons Involved

Something you may notice about this is the amount of headcanon I’m trying to cram into it. To be frank, I use most fic writing as a vehicle with which to go “look at my headcanons, boy”, so this isn’t surprising.

The first of which I would like to note is Heavy’s love of pulp romance. I couldn’t tell you why I first thought of it, but it’s grown on me like moss. Mikhail is a lover and a fighter. To me. In my heart. He views all art for what it is, and values the stories themselves pretty equally. The only important difference between the two books he’s carried with him from Russia and the pulp he’s collected in the US is sentimentality.

Speaking of those books, why the two I picked? Brothers Karamazov is a pretty obvious choice. It’s a classic and widely studied. Tsar Hunger by Leonid Andreyev, however was actually mentioned by name in Poker Night At The Inventory. In one conversation, Tycho asks Heavy what his favorite book is, to which he replies that he “prefers war.” Eventually, though, he does end up saying that he likes Tsar Hunger. I wanted to know if this was just a book picked at random, or if it actually meant something about Telltale’s interpretation of Heavy’s character. After all, the tumblr side of the fandom LOVES Heavy’s PhD in Russian Literature. It was. A BITCH. To find any information about that book. There isn’t a goodreads page for it. Or a wikipedia. Or even an amazon page selling copies. Like, what the fuck? Eventually, I found that the Internet Archive has it available to borrow by the hour. The particular copy that was archived was originally from the University of Texas and has a fabric cover. So no synopsis.

At this point I was thinking “oh my fucking god I’m two hours into this research process,” and decided I wouldn’t be reading King Hunger. I’ve skimmed it a bit and, filling in the blanks with some guesses based on the information Wikipedia provided about the author, it’s a symbolic/expressionist criticism of the monarchy, but one which also criticizes bloody revolution. Please take that with a pound of salt though. Once again, I spent a solid three hours getting to that amount of understanding.

This actually leads me to discussing another element that’s important to my interpretation of Heavy. Namely, who is father was. On r/TF2, I constantly see people arguing back and forth whether its fine to joke about Mikhail being “Heavy Communism Guy” or if that’s a gross misunderstanding since his father was declared a counterrevolutionary. (Meanwhile these same dimwits are happily joking about Medic being a member of a certain fascist regime, but I digress)

Personally, I think Mikhail’s father (who I will be calling Ivan Melnyk going forward, as I headcanon Heavy’s full name to be Mikhail Ivanovich Melnyk) was counterrevolutionary, but not anti-communist. That venn diagram isn’t just a circle my friends. In political matters, it’s very easy to get stuck in black and white thinking- and that’s fair for large matters- but, when it comes down to how people believe they should go about making changes, that’s where you get in-fighting between allied groups.

More clearly, I believe that Ivan was a man who believed in progress and common good, but found disproportionate violence distasteful. And he would have tried to impart those values on his son. However, Ivan’s death and his family’s imprisonment would really sour that for Mikhail. It adds a level of complexity where he is both someone who hates senseless violence (see: the sparrow story in Poker Night), but is extremely wrathful (see: the engineer story in Poker Night).

Switching gears, let’s talk respawn. Personally, I like the idea of it as something that exists in universe, rather than just being a game mechanic in the Documentary Video Game About the Gravel Wars. It adds some more leeway for goofy shit the mercs can get up to while also opening up more avenues for mentally trauma. Angst my beloved.

Respawn

Respawn, in my mind, works by teleporting the remains to a mechanism that then recycles the matter into a pre-programmed form. I imagine that this is updated every day for the TF2 mercs, but only by the week or month for the Classic era systems. Upon exiting respawn, subjects may experience “respawn sickness,” which includes symptoms of nausea, diziness, anxiety, sensitivity to light and sound, disorientation, soreness, ect. One can become accustomed to respawn over time, and this is expedited by the modern systems, but some might remain sensitive to respawn even after years of use.

TFI standard protocol is to switch respawn systems over to the older system in order save money and perform diagnostics/maintenance without risking the permanent death of one of their “specialists.”

Another book note

The passage Heavy reads at the end is from a novella called Special Nurse by Lucy Agnes Hancock. It is Yet Another book I haven’t read, but decided to reference. Originally, I had wanted to reference a Harlequin Romance published in 1960-63, as I really didn’t want to include that flavor of anachronism. Dont fucking ask me why, but it mattered to me. However, the vast majority of what I could find online to read was published between 1975 and 1998. There were three books that technically fit my requirements, but the two from 1961 were either vacation romance or noble romance. Which just didn’t fit the vibe I was looking for. And the one from 1963 was published in November of that year. Which would have been fine, but I envisioned this chapter taking place in late May or early June.

In the late 40’s to mid 60’s Harlequin published SOOOOO many hospital romances. And this amused me, so I desperately wanted Heavy to be reading one. But I searched multiple times and just. Couldn’t find any that I could skim through. Fuck, dude, I couldn’t even find samples or excerpts. I COULD BARELY FIND SYNOPSES. I got desperate and dug through my mom’s old romance novel collection and lo and behold, there it was. Special Nurse. It’s not Harlequin (published by Pocket Books) and it wasn’t technically from 60-63 (originally published in 1948, but received 5 print runs from 1950-19060. Mine is from August 1960), but it WAS A DOCTOR ROMANCE. HUZZAH.

Dear fucking lord why do I do this shit to myself ahhhhhhhh

[slowlysoluminary]

INFO

This blog is dedicated to posts about my isat AUs. As of 30/6/24 the only AU on this blog is To Reset a Kingpin, aka the isat reset au.

I like, reblog, and post other isat content / miscellaneous stuff on my main @llilyrose. This page is exclusively my AU content, announcements, etc. though fan creations will be reblogged and appreciated. Sometimes I'll post things about these aus on my main but anything super important will be reblogged here.

(If you make something for the au (fanart, writing, or just a short text post) @ THIS BLOG PLEASE!! pretty pretty please ... don't hide away)

TAGS

Everything on this blog is grouped by tag! I wanted to make it easy for anyone (mostly myself) to sift through posts when I start reaching the big double digits...

#isat reset au #to reset a kingpin ^ two tags for the same au; used on main blog also #resetfrin (<- reset au! siffrin character tag; reset+siffrin) #ghostloop (<- reset au! loop character tag; aka gloop in posts) #kingset (<- reset au! king character tag; king+reset) . 【 ✦ 】 . #rambling (<- infodump posts related to aus) #art #writing ^ sister tags; used for official/non-conceptual pieces #memes #doodles #drabbles ^ joke/conceptual works #asks #fanworks (<- fan writing / miscellaneous tag) #fanart (<- fan art tag) #sprite edit (<- any artwork edited from official isat / made to immitate official artwork)

(if i ever tag a post with "isat rewind au" instead of "isat reset au" please strike me down)

AU SECTION

The part of the masterpost where the posts gets mastered (ft. a brief synopsis of the aus to get you interested)

【 ✦ 】

TO RESET A KINGPIN

^ The first (and, as of right now, only) AU to be posted on this tumblr. Predominantly called Reset AU.

FULL MASTERPOST [coming soon]

initial concept post (concept art + rambling)

❝ In act five Siffrin grows sloppy, and the King connects his strange behavior to the Wish Craft that floats around him. When Siffrin is defeated, the King makes a wish. It resets the entirety of the timeline, back to the very beginning - when the King lost his memory of the island - and breaks everything in the process.❞

This AU plays with the idea of Siffrin meeting the King first, but adds a fun twist to spice up the dynamics between the characters. What's the twist? Read about the AU and find out yourself, nerd.................

post-game brainstorming <- doodles, memes, and rambles

lost in your reflection <- gloop art and mirror sequence chapter

logo, gloop + siffrin <- sprite edits (what it says on the tin)

chapters to-do:

the King's wish (in progress)

the party's missing pieces

siffrin meeting loop

siffrin and loop meeting king

siffrin and loop meeting party

art to do:

chapter cgs (1/5)

post-game full refs/name reveals

post-game sprite edits

relaxing on art for the duration of artfight, hence lack of art-related projects

ETCETERA

my ao3 profile, wherein I'll cross-post my writing after i finish the king's wish chapter

i would really appreciate it if you. reblogged my posts. but likes are fine too, any kind of notes make me happy

i post all my stuff on discord too, so if you see user llilyrose posting about this on isat discord THAT'S. ME!!!!! say hi i don't bite :3

if i make any errors in my writing or tagging specifically, please notify me. otherwise don't care didn't ask :wibbly:

[evieismol]

Ye Olde Introductory Post

Hi all! I'm Evie, I use she/her pronouns, I'm 24, and I wish I was 3 inches tall. As you may infer from that last line, this is my g/t blog. If you don't know what g/t even is, here's a great post explaining wtf I'm rambling about. If that's what you're here for, great! This blog is going to be a mix of my original writing and art as well as reblogs from other amazing community members in the g/t community (of course).

If you'd like to know what to expect more specifically, keep reading.

What type of content you can expect (and not);

A lot of fluff, angst, and romance. Occasional darker themes and content (more on that under content warnings in a minute), but nothing that's intended as kink content nor explicitly sexual. I'm ace and gt is not a kink for me (no hate to people who feel otherwise though!). I mostly just write and draw things that interest me, from original works to fandoms. Occasional v.ore mentions, I'm not super into it as a thing overall so there's no actual v.ore but the potential is a fun horror/angst trope like "Oh no man eating giants (but they're not)" or "friendly giant is sad bc everyone thinks he's a man eating giant". Regardless, any such mentions will be in content warnings so you can avoid easily. Or find easily, whichever lol. Maybe occasional horror adjacent stories, I write non gt horror on occasion so who knows. Will also be included in content warnings if you're just here for the fluff. Finally maybe occasional "suggestive" content - nothing actually sexual and always between consenting adults but I write romance so there might be a "behind closed doors"/"fade to black" scene at some point. Again, will also be in content warnings. I think that's everything I can think of for potentially objectionable content that might show up; for more on content warning system keep scrolling. If I write something that begets updating this section it shall be updated.

Content warnings;

All of my original works have content warnings at the top for any content I think might reasonably need to have a warning, including swearing, injury, angst, fearplay, etc. I'm additionally planning on, moving forward, adding tags for each content warnings so people that would like to filter by tag can do so as well. If you're planning on sticking around and there's a content warning I'm not currently using but you'd appreciate being used (eg, specific phobias, certain words, etc), let me know via ask or message and I'd be happy to add it! Tumblr and the gt community on here is thankfully small enough that I can reasonably do that

DNI;

Minors!! This is a sfw blog, if you want to follow that's fine BUT I'm in my mid twenties, there's no reason we need to be interacting beyond that. In fact, if you're a minor and you're reading this, be suspicious of any adult who feels otherwise tbh, it's not a good or safe standard to set.

Anyone promoting or subscribing to any kind of bigotry, including transphobes, homophobes, racists, etc

Exclusively nsfw/kink blogs, I'm ace and have trauma and would prefer to not interact. If you just have NSFW content amongst other content this doesn't apply to you, my thought process is just if ur blog is exclusively kink based/NSFW I don't have what you want here and you don't have what I want there so we don't need to interact further lol

Pedophiles, abusers, etc. I have no idea why this sort of person would follow a dni anyways but you will be blocked if you're posting things sexualizing minors or encouraging pedophilia or abuse or it comes out you're messaging kids or something because wtf.

Organization;

My master post for writing and art is here

About me;

♡ I go by Evie

♡ pronouns: she/hers

♡ age: 25

♡ im autistic

♡ im a tiny (in my dreams)

♡ tv shows I like: Loki, Criminal Minds, Scooby Doo (don't get me started)

♡ favorite genres: horror or romance. Polar opposites (except when it's both at once. Love a good Gothic romantic horror. Hate a dark romance tho)

♡ favorite artists: fleetwood Mac, lord huron, hozier

♡ other assorted interests: nature, national parks, spooky season, BEING 3 INCHES TALL

[snailythefan]

Hi Snaily! How have you been? Im here for a pretty serious ask.

My boyfriend has been drawing for a while, I honestly think he's doing real good. But recently he's been feeling down about his art, he doesn't know why he should bother improving his art if his style is *basic* to some people, and it hurts a lot for him. He knows he should be drawing for fun and not force improvement to stress him out, but there's only so much I can do as his loving partner who doesn't draw at all.

So... what was it like for you, Snaily? When you started drawing many years back, how did you not feel like shit looking at how it could be better but you don't know how? What advice can you give to a beginner artist?

(You can answer this privately if you want btw, and ask me for his art if you need to see them. Much love <3)

hi peng!! always nice to hear from u! I'm gonna reply to this publicly because to be honest i can't resist to give this kind of advice to any and all beginner artists (but i am putting it under a readmore because as you know i love to ramble and this will get LOOONNNGGG and will Truly be The Ramblings of a Mad Man (gender neutral))

firstly, since I hear that he feels hurt by the idea that people out there might find his style "basic". That's a rookie mistake (that literally everyone makes when they start getting Serious about Art). The mistake being Caring Profoundly About an Outside Audience that's Ever Watching and Judging.

Which I literally cannot blame him or anyone for it, ESPECIALLY in this modern social media landscape where newer artists feel like they gotta get GOOD at the VIRAL RAT RACE so you gotta get that sweet, sweet validation in the form of likes, reblogs, retweets etc etc.

So that's my first tip I suppose: don't fall for the entrapment of being obsessed with getting any and all sorts of SWEET VALIDATION during your art process. This is hard to condition yourself to! I myself fall prone to it! It's actually kind of natural. Even if the validation you seek isn't online, surely you're expecting it from your peers or teachers or family members or whoever gets to look at your sketchbook (or you know, your medium of choice).

You want people to notice your art and all the effort you put into it. It's okay! DO welcome those who do!! But never NEVERRRRRR NEVERRRRRR commit the mistake of placing the value of your art on how much praise it gets from others. That's a one trip road on having an Absolute Bad Time. THE ONLY PERSON you should be looking to make happy with your art is YOURSELF first and foremost!!! Always!!! This is the Golden Rule!!!

So people (imagined or otherwise) think his style is """Basic""". Okay! That's literally not a crime anyone can arrest you for!! So what if you're LITERALLY starting and your art looks """basic"""!!!!!!! WHAT IS THE CRIME HERE!!!! CAN'T MY MAN JUST CREATE IN PEACE!!!! LET HIM COOK!!!!!

If he's starting out, i think it's pretty expected of him to just have a "basic" style you know? He shouldn't be ashamed of it! The best chef in the entire world right now didn't start making The Most Delicious Food To Ever Grace Anyone's Plate on DAY 1. They probably started with a goshdang sandwich. Many of them maybe. Until they could make the Perfect Sandwich even in their Sleep and only until then they felt ready enough to explore Further Possibilities In The Kitchen.

(Is this metaphor working? I sure hope it is!)

Anyway.

"How did you not feel like shit looking at how it could be better but you don't know how?"

Well that's a fun question because to this day I get extremely frustrated whenever I realize my Art Level isn't up to my standards. But THAT'S OKAY- even in my case!

If you're Serious About Art (as in, you LOVE making art) you'll constantly feel like you're having to catch up to artists that are doing MILES better than you. Which happens to everyone. Truly it's only the curse of having A Good Taste In Art (so you automatically Set Standards For Yourself based on what you personally consider Great Art).

So again, something to not be ashamed of. But also something to Learn To Live with. I get it!! I truly do!! You see some guy online who apparently is only 14 and they're already making compositions with complex perspectives and an amazing sense of color theory and you'll want to bite off your hands!!!! But you can't let that stop you!!

You're just gonna have to learn to Fail, Constantly. Failing Gracefully! Sucking At Art Again and Again!

You might think this conflicts with the Golden Rule (i mean, if you're not happy with your own art- then what's the point yeah?)

But it's all about Love babey. Loving the process of failing constantly, because deep down you REALIZE you're learning how not to suck little by little.

It's also an exercise in letting Spite guide you. So what if you're bad!!!!!! What if you've somehow committed the crime of being A Bad Artist!!!!!! The cops will never catch me fucker!!!!! SEE HOW I DESECRATE THE HOLY ACT OF "CREATING GOOD ART" AHAHAHAHA!!!! LITERALLY NOBODY CAN STOP ME!!!!! <- the attitude to Have. Yes you gotta be prepared to be Unhinged and to have active Disdain towards 4th Plane Entities that are probably judging your art quality. (Unless my experiences aren't universal and nobody else feels a salacious self-satisfaction whenever they draw something that looks like an affront to The Universe, knowing they can just Try Again).

Anyway those are the benefits of sprinkling a little Spite alongside all the Love for the process of Making Art.

At the start you might feel like you're only making bad art. So! Own it! unironically my life philosophy is that everyone should make more BAD ART!!! ARTISTS OF THE WORLD UNITE TO MAKE MORE BAD ART, YOU HAVE NOTHING TO LOSE BUT YOUR CHAINS!

that's for the mental approach at least.

So, what about the technical side? How do you actually take all those feelings of inadequacy and wrangle them into something productive that will help YOU get better at the art you want to make?

with the warning that i am a self taught artist so i might not the the perfect person to ask, but truly the most IMPORTANT skill you want to hone is OBSERVATION and COPYING WHAT YOU OBSERVE.

Basically you're gonna study the artists you like! You're gonna stare REAL HARD at the details in the art they make! And THEN. You're gonna try to copy THAT! Hell, you might even want to TRACE what they do at first** (**THIS ADVICE IS FOR PRACTICING. DO NOT TRACE AND THEN POST ONLINE FOR OTHERS TO GO "hey man wtf this is just you tracing X Artist" DO NOT!!! DO THAT!!!) just so you get a feel for what they have in their art that You Don't and learning how to slowly replicate that.

That's how I learned the ropes at least. Literally printing manga panels and then tracing over them during my Peak Weeb Years. Ah little snaily, how time flies. Another thing i liked to do was watch speedpaints of artists i liked but at like -2x speed. So it was a slowpaint and i could STEAL THEIR SECRETS <- another valuable art skill

Anyway, that's what I think it's the most important (to observe!)

...but also you might want to either take art classes OR watch a buuuuunch of tutorials on youtube for The Basics (basic anatomy! shading! values! color theory! perspective! gesture drawing!!!)

You feel like shit about your art? Fine! Then realize your life is your own and you have the absolute power to change that directly!! GO ON YOUTUBE AND LEARN THOSE BASICS!!!!!! don't be like me and struggle this much with perspective after years of making art!!!! (Though in all fairness, even those good at it struggle with it lol)

So! I am all out of advice for a newer artist.

TL,DR: YOU WILL SUCK A LOT AT FIRST BUT THE MORE YOU PRACTICE AND LEARN ABOUT YOUR FAILURES, THE MORE YOU'LL LOVE TO SEE YOUR IMPROVEMENT AND EVENTUALLY YOU'LL BE ABLE TO DO THE ART YOU WANT TO MAKE.

Peng if you could forward this to your bf i would be very grateful. Good luck to you two!!! Thank you for reaching out!! And remember!! Never give up!!!!!

[angelfleurry]

Nagito & Angie with an alt!GN!reader:

Written in the assumption that a relationship has already been established! <3

Also, GN reader!! Makeup is mentioned, but in my opinion makeup is for everyone, so I still count it as GN!!

I’ve used the umbrella term of alt so you have more freedom with whatever style you’d prefer. I haven’t written about any music tastes, I just ended up going with a more physical sense but I can do music tastes if anyone wants!!

~

♡ Nagito Komaeda: ♡

♡ There’s something so strangely beautiful about the way you present yourself.

♡ He’s absolutely enamoured by it.

♡ He just gazes at you for a while, observing.

♡ Whether it’s the maniacal burst of colours, or the hushing allure of the muted and neutral colours, it catches his eye everytime.

♡ He finds it so amazing that one can express themselves in such a way.

♡ He adores it, he adores it all!

♡ He loves to just sit down next to you and watch you do your makeup, or put in your piercings.

♡ He’s like a curious cat. He just sits there cross-legged and observes.

♡ He can help you if you want, in fact he’d be honoured. He just doesn’t ask because he believes he’d mess up the flow.

♡ “Is my eyeliner even, Nagito?” “Honey, can you pass me my rings?”

♡ Say the word, he’ll do it.

♡ You find it sweet how he gets so worked up over the way you dress, but to him it’s so beautiful!!

♡ It’s so admirable, so wonderful, he loves it!

♡ Nagito’s very dramatic in that respect, but you know it’s because he adores you, and you adore him.

♡ You love chatting to him as you get ready, and he loves listening.

♡ You’ve definitely done his makeup for him at some point, and it makes his heart race all over again.

♡ The fact you put so much love into embracing yourself, plus the fact you want to give that same energy to him? Him, of all people?!

♡ Oh, gosh he loves you…

♡ Gets all giggly when you show him the finished result of his makeup.

♡ You love taking pictures with him, like…adore it!

♡ Even if you’re self-conscious about taking selfies, for some reason it melts when you’re with him. ESPECIALLY if you’ve done his makeup.

♡ To even just be acknowledged is enough for Nagito, but for you to want to have physical copies of memories with him…?

♡ How very lucky is he…?~

♡ Angie Yonaga: ♡

♡ She finds it wonderful!

♡ Angie’s an artist, so she’s all for expression. That’s why, when she sees the way you present yourself to the world, she’s OBSESSED.

♡ If you wear makeup, she always takes a moment to observe it.

♡ She analyses all of it and always seems enamoured by it.

♡ “Y/N, you are like a living paint palette! I see such dedication in your art, it is divine!”

♡ If you wear more colourful, eccentric pieces; Angie LOVES suggesting what outfits you could wear. She bases it all on colour coordination and how it reflects you as a person.

♡ If you’re more for darker garments, Angie tends to refer to you as her “living sketch”. She adores how you present yourself.

♡You swear stars form in her eyes when she sees your style shine.

♡ “Please, let Angie paint you!”

♡ If you dye your hair, Angie would LOVE to do it for you.

♡ She’s so gentle and considerate with the way she coats the product into your hair.

♡ She watches for any strand she’s missed, even if it’s the slightest little bit.

♡ It’s like painting to her, just better because she’s helping in the process of bringing forth the art of her S/O!

♡ She hums as she goes, breaking it to talk about her day.

♡ Oh, she does enjoy rambling!

♡ Absolutely adores your aesthetic; it makes her super giggly.

[ivantillceo]

sorry if it's not cool to ask but, while i imagine ivantill is your fav ship, who's your fav alnst character? i don't know many other fans besides like, my partner x]

OH EM GEE THANK YEW FOR ASKING THIS PLS I LOVE TALKING ABOUT ALNST 😭😭

okay so this is just gonna be a big yap session .

spoilers for alien stage below the cut

my favorite ship is absolutely ivantill , they are my everything ... but my favorite character is stuck between till and luka .

a lot of people don't like luka which is understandable considering a lot of his character is surrounded around his manipulative behavior , which is totally understandable ! luka distributes a lot of manipulative behaviors , and it's often seen as his tactic to win different rounds , such as using till's trauma and hallucinations against him in order to win ( pretty much ; he mirrored ivan's actions , which led to till getting triggered and messing up , which resulting in him losing points . )

however , i see myself a lot in luka , in some weird way . luka canonically has a lot of disabilities due to genetic modification i think , he has asthma and heart disease and chronic migraines , and it's implied that he has some sort of personality disorder ( either npd or aspd ) , due to the fact he also canonically has low - no empathy , and experiences self destructive behaviors , as confirmed in the art book .

" ... allowing anyone to approach him, he does not care if others are hurt in the process. He has no qualms about trampling on others to move forward, but no one knows for sure if that is really because of his evil nature. "

" ... Luka’s actions, which were self-destructive and also harmed others, revealed a pure child who at the same time seemed to prove the theory of innate evil, his existence could not be accepted only for his beauty. In the end, he believed that no one could understand him, and since even trying to be understood made no sense, he sank even more into his own world. "

the behaviors of him , the self destruction , the lack of care about his actions and the idea that nobody will understand him is something i see myself in a lot , which is why i actually enjoy his character a lot . he's written incredibly well , even if he's supposed to be an immoral character .

i also just tend to love characters that are appear to be angelic but are actually full of flaws and bad character traits . something about that trope , the irony of it , has also always spoken to me and always appealed to me .

now on to till :3

a lot of my love for till comes from my own media memories about being ivan . i love till for both who he is in canon , but also because of my own identity as ivan , if that makes any sense .

till in canon also has qualities that i see myself in a lot . his rebellious nature always made him a target for the abuse from his alien kidnappers , and that's something ive always seen in myself . he also has a lot of loyalty , specifically for mizi , going so far as to abandon his opportunity for freedom because of how much he loved her and because of how he didn't want to abandon her . he's described as the most shy and timid out of them all in a now deleted tweet by VIVINOS , but he also has a different side of him that is rebellious and he can flip his personality like a switch . it's something ive always found so fascinating about him :3

a lot of my love for till also comes from the fact that one of my fps id's till , so my fp and till kinda are rhe same person in my mind , which makes my love for him a lot stronger .

thank you for letting me ramble , i love when people ask about my interests , ir always makes me feel better /gen 🫶🏻🫶🏻

[javierduffy]

Hellooooo !! You mentioned in the tags of your latest post that you were willing to talk about your process if anyone asked and I am asking!!

It looks so good so I'd love to hear the process and thoughts behind it as someone who hasn't really touched digital painting before :3:3

- Oizys-Mutt

hi oizy :] sory for taking so long to get to this i honestly posted it and then i was like *windows shut down sfx* LOL so i never really felt prepared to answer until neow … not that i super feel like it now since its been so long since o posted the piece ;__; anyway !!! tjank u for asking about it first of all that’s so sweet ure always my biggest supporter </3 thank u ure so darling.

as for the idea behind the piece, i often like to think about how javier and kieran interact when they’re away from prying eyes. of course, i think that they leave camp together as often as they can (as unsuspiciously as possible .. if that’s possible at all) and progressively more and more as the gang falls apart and they know in their hearts that they’re about to lose each other, but because kieran and javier are both desperate lovers, i think they’re always finding romance the moment they think god is so merciful as to look the other way. this is to say, once javier feels as though there are enough leaves, brush, wildlife between he and his family, he rushes to yank kieran’s hand from branwen’s reins to hold. javier loves like a starved man, a one who has formerly been fed grapes and steak from the soft, gentle hands of a house servant, so a one whom knows what it is like to be full— it’s like it’s killing him to live with the grief of lovelessness. and kieran is a man who loves like a starved man who has never had a full meal in his life— he has no idea what it’s like to have a full belly, and he yearns in a way that hollows his chest out as though his heart has never beat once in his life. you put these two together and it’s almost as if lust and gluttony were the same, as if their clothed bodies, separated by the birdth of an entire foot, were forever eloped, connected, full, satisfied. like to merely touch one another is the same as to make love. so when they feel free, finally, away from the shackle of known perception- to be known, to be seen, to be rejected- they CANNOT be apart. it’s like javier can’t breathe if his atoms are not warmed by any of kieran’s that are adjacent. as i said, the moment the sun feels warmer on their skin than curious eyes, they’re intertwined. as simply as possible. every horse ride, trip to town, walk down the riverbank, every breath they take, it’s theirs. plural. so … uhhhmmm … at length, i think they’re always touching :] ! uhm. in not so many words. so it’s often that they will be seen on the road, in the woods, the creaks of their saddles speaking wordless ‘i love you’s as their intertwined hands next to the revolvers in their holsters convince strangers that the tree line opposite the lovers is suddenly quite worth watching instead. sorry. i just wrote a novel. thank you so much for indulging me i have so many feelings about them ;__;

hooonestly i don’t ever have much commentary on the process of the art itself, its moreso my thots behind the horse riding date LOL uhhhmm but since ure curious abt the art i can ramble abt that a bit :] for that piece specifically i really felt like painting for no reason in particular, but ive really felt burnt out on colouring, so i went with the process of .. reverse rendering ? if we want to call it that ? where u render the shadows in monochrome and then use white space as ur lighting and fiddle with the colours after the fact. i’m still not good at this process … at all ! it’s confusing to me ! but i’m more likely to do what i want with the piece, or at least a little more than i would otherwise, because im simply skipping the step that i Don’t want to do. it’s a long story as to why art, and certain aspects of it, is SO hard for me to do, but in short, i’m relearning how to enjoy it as an act after severely burning myself out on it due to setting absurd expectations for myself :] so im just going with my gut ! which … unfortunately does not leave much room for me to explain my process to you ! i’m sorry !!!!

[quirkyfries]

Hello there!! Thanks for stopping by :)

My name is Quirky! I go by any pronouns, and I mostly post my doodles and art here for archive purposes.

If I have any ongoing projects, just know that I will get to them in due time! Please be patient with me :)

All of my tags will be in the tags of this post for navigation purposes.

“#Quirky’s art” is the tag for my art, no matter what or who it’s for.

“#Quirky drabbles” is the tag for my writing.

When I just want to put my thoughts out there, I use “#Quirky rambling” for organizing.

“#Quirky answers” is for answered asks.

I currently do not have a reblog tag! At the moment, I don’t see the need for one.

My asks are always open, and I don’t mind chatting with people whether on my posts or via asks! Just mind that sometimes I can’t immediately reply. I’m happy to answer questions about my art/process or projects, opinions on my interests, or humor conversation starters!

I do not have a schedule for posting— I draw when I have time to, and I tend to shift subjects and style between posts. So, I apologize in advance if anyone followed me because I post a specific character or art style only to realize that I don’t really stick to a media 100%. I draw when I draw and what I want to draw.

And, while I don’t mind such content, I try to avoid explicit NSFW on this blog because I want to keep this a mostly-safe space for everyone. I will not answer asks that bring up such content, or post anything of that nature. That does NOT mean that I won’t interact with a M/R-rated media/fan-media with those topics in them, I just don’t want to draw explicit or overly suggestive stuff. If I accidentally violate this, please let me know!

Art policy - Thought I would include this!

Please do not use ANY of my work for AI anything!

Any of my art can be used as PFPs, headers, etc. if I am credited! Please do not use any of my art for selling products (digital or physical) without permission!

I do not have commissions open because I don’t have the time for that at the moment, but if you drop a doodle req in my ask box, I’ll consider those in my free time!

I do not support the creators of Dandy’s world.

That should be all for now. I’ll update this as needed! Have a nice day :)

[its-stimsca]

Hey there!! I think i want to start making stimboards, but i personally cannot make gifs for multiple reasons, unless you know a good phone app or if IBIS can make gifs !!

Do you have any suggestions and tips ?

Are there blogs that don't mind using their GIFs as long as credit is somewhere ? Or is that typically frowned upon anyway?

I wanna be respectful so i understand if this means i cannot make stimboards until I'm able to make gifs myself :3

Hi!! The way I personally make my gifs is through using ezgif, and I’m fairly sure a bunch of other stimboard makers use this website too because it’s very convenient and free. Just submit the video you want to gif (not the whole thing, just a trimmed section of what u wanna gif), and it’ll convert it to a gif for you. Make sure to credit the original video if you post a gif of it, though, as it’s really important to give credit to the source

As for reusing gifs other people have made, pretty much all of the time it’s going to be okay to use someone’s gif in a stimboard, as long as credit it’s given. In fact, most people in the stim community on tumblr make gifs with the intent of them being used in stimboards. Some really great blogs that make a lot of original gifs to be used in boards that I go to a lot are @/talos-stims, @/heartnosekid, @/helium-stims, @/aliens-stim-too. There are a lot of other good ones too, but there are a few just to get you started.

You don’t have to specifically search a blog to find gifs though. Using the main tumblr search function you can type what you’re looking for, just include the tag “stim” in your search, and a lot of stuff will come up. You can use gifs that someone else has used in a stimboard, too. Just try your best to follow their sources to the original creator, and link it directly to there instead of the stimboard you took it from. A lot of stimboard blogs get deleted, which can lead to your link to the board becoming defunct in the future and that credit being lost for people down the line trying to source a gif.

If you’re making a gif of an animation or using a piece of art someone has drawn, that’s when you want to directly ask someone for permission. Most artists don’t mind as long as credit is given, but it’s important to check. If it’s a big artist that you can’t send asks to or contact in some way, just make sure to tag them in the post of the stimboard, that way if they can see you’ve reposted their art somewhere, and they can reach out to you if they don’t want it there.

The most important thing when it comes to all this is just to source your gifs. Copy the links in the notes app on your phone, a google doc, I personally do it on a discord channel, it doesn’t matter, just make sure you have SOME kind of credit to the gifs in your stimboard linked below your post. Don’t stress too much about messing up the first couple of times though, you get better at it and you can always go back and fix stuff later.

Hopefully this helps and wasn’t too much of a ramble. I’ve been thinking about making a sort of guide on my process of making boards actually, but haven’t gotten around to it since idk if anyone would be interested. Anyways that’s all

[proshippers-against-censorship]

i'm just gonna ramble in your asks abt my ideal website real quick

i consider myself to be an anti, and i personally would LOVE to just have a separate little forum website i could post on. i would love to never have to see shit i didn't sign up for in my little tags, i would love to post my little art pieces and talk to other people about my things and not have to check every single person who follows me or regularly interacts with my blog. i would love to never find loli porn on my "friend's" page and never be able to look at them the same. i would love to just. have a vetted, moderated, separate corner of the internet i could use instead of major social media platforms.

but that really doesn't exist anymore. i've tried to find forums or even discord servers (i really hate discord tbh, but to have a community like this? i'd cave) and there genuinely isn't anything. i've looked with such specific search terms that google made me complete a captcha because of suspicious activity from my PC. it doesn't exist. there is no curated space specifically for antis on the modern internet.

people say "oh, if you don't like XYZ just go somewhere else," but that isn't a real solution because that somewhere else isn't a real place. i WANT to go somewhere else. if i didn't have to in order to have any kind of a community at all, i would not be on tumblr.

i want old internet forum sites. i want the times when people just posted on different sites for different ships. i want to have to actively search out content i don't like instead of having to navigate around it. also? tumblr's tag-blocking system? sucks. i scroll through a tag for one of the characters i like who i happen to hc as ace, so i blocked all their ship tags. problem is this character gets shipped with anyone with a pulse. 99% of it is "this post contains filtered tags" instead of just.. hiding the post altogether. the other 1% is people who didn't tag their shit. it's borderline unusable sometimes. i just wanna see things i like and not see things i don't man is that too much to ask for

No that's completely fair.

There's some stuff I've seen on here that personally I get super icked over. And there's some stuff on here that I just straight up don't want to see. And it sucks that Tumblr would rather give you a message and the world's most enticing button instead of, yknow, take it away entirely. I endorse curating your own experience...I wish Tumblr made it easier to do that.

What you could do, though, is use a free builder like wix or whatever, create a forum. You can even run them for free on some hosts. It would likely be a slow, annoying process to build, but I do believe that if you have the willingness to create something, it will somehow end up there. Give it a stab, mayhaps. Set rules, invite likeminded folk. Attach it to a blog run on the same host, even, to post your own thoughts and creations on.

Create your safespace. You're almost always entitled to unless creating your space involves destroying others. And creating your own forum and blog is the best way to create that space while not stepping on anyone's toes.