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blueprint-han · 4 years ago

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[Image ID: A black picture with the title “HOW TO SUPPORT FANFICTION AUTHORS” written in bold caps lock, colored with a winter forest picture. End ID.]

Well, this post has been made countless times, but I’m making one too because I’ve seen a lot of people say they’re new to tumblr and don’t know the whole “reblogging is better than liking” rule and other stuff. So without any further ado, here are ways YOU can support the fanfiction authors. Now keep in mind this applies to almost every author out there, not just the stayblr fandom, so if you’re a silent reader (or even if you aren’t), I advise you go through this post. Warning, this is a fairly long post going into detail, so yeah. I still expect you, the readers to read this, and if you’re a writer, feel free to lmk if i’ve written smth wrong or if you want me to add something! ^^

In this post I’ll go into thorough analysis of the pros and cons of each of the methods listed here and how YOU as a reader can show the authors whose fics you read more love and motivate them to produce content.

WARNING; LONG POST! GOES INTO A DECENT AMOUNT OF DETAIL. NOT EDITED, EXCUSE ANY TYPOS.

#1 : LIKING !

I think this is basic common knowledge, and a lot of people tend to do this. When you like the post, the author sees it, you see it, and if the author has their liked posts accessible (which majority of the time they don’t), and if someone deliberately goes to check it, then they see it. See why so many authors say just liking does nothing? Only liking says “Hey, I’m gonna tell you your story is not that good by simply liking it and not sharing it with other people. :D”

♯ PROS:

You’re telling the author that you've read their fic, and either you’ve enjoyed it to a certain extent, or you’re just saving it to read for later.

Likes are seen by you, the author and anyone who has access to your likes (which, most people don’t).

♯ CONS:

If you ONLY like, you’re not really helping the author’s work reach a wide audience because this site isn’t Instagram. Reblogging is the only way people can SEE our works. I’ll cover more on that in the next section.

In a nutshell, liking is good! But you should most likely use it in a combination with the other stuff I’ve listed below, because just the like itself doesn’t really do much in giving the author any feedback or interaction on their fics.

To clear shit up; I’m not talking about those people who don’t read the story or appreciate it in the first place. I’m talking about those who appreciate the fic, like it, but don’t leave any sort of feedback to show that.

#2 : REBLOGGING !

This is SO, SO important. I cannot stress on this enough. Let me explain WHY so many writers stress on reblogging content:

Tumblr’s tag system is inherently fucked up, and has grown more so over the year. I’m not kidding, at first, the fic either used to show up in the tags or it didn’t, but now, sometimes your fic can be REMOVED from the tags because of,,, idk tumblr tag shit. Anyways, as you can see, it’s very demotivating for authors at that point, because the major way for people to find their content and expand their blogs has been blocked.

Due to this reason, tumblr authors need to RELY on you, their followers to help spread their works to a wider audience. Now again, before you get me wrong, I’m not saying you ae forced to rb our works regardless of whether you like them or not. BUT, that being said, if you DO infact like the story, there’s no harm in reblogging, right? By doing this you’re indirectly telling the author �� “hey! :D I liked your fic! Which is why I am gonna share it to my followers so they can read it too :D” Trust me, you’re doing nothing but helping the people who produce content for you to read. Seems like a worthy cause to hit the reblog button, right? It’s only a one, or maximum two step procedure.

Leave tags in your reblogs! Trust me, as an author myself and as much as I know from all my author friends, we oft check the tags of your reblogs to see if you found any part amazing or even if you have anything to say about the writing we put so much hard work into. Even a key smash or a “This was so [insert adjective] 🥺” is enough to leave a smile on your authors face.

♯ PROS :

You’re !! Sharing !! Your authors !! Works !! This leads to them getting more recognition, so for the content they’re so graciously providing for free, you’re promoting their blog and helping them expand it.

If the tags are being a shit, which majority of the time they are, then you’re literally making an author’s day by reblogging! You’re showing them that you, a follower and appreciator of their works are willingly sharing their content because it deserves to be seen by more people. Again before any dumb people decide to attack me, i am talking about people who like the fic but don't bother reblogging and are silent/ghost readers. I am not forcing anyone to read anybody’s work.

YOU’RE MAKING YOUR AUTHOR SO HAPPY WHAT MORE REASONS COULD YOU POSSIBLY WANT !! 🥺

♯ CONS :

Literally none, because as far as I remember no author is against reblogging of their works. It’s quite literally the way this platform functions. Reblogging is IMPORTANT.

#3 : COMMENTING/SENDING FEEDBACK !

This kind of overlaps with the previous section, but THIS IS SUCH AN IMPORTANT STEP !! When you leave feedback, you are directly giving the author something so much more valuable to them than high follower/note counts or money. Your feedback is literally our serotonin. I kid you not the number of times I’ve received a positive comment and smiled and it has made my day. There’s a reason youtubers (though not the best example, bear with me here because it was the only one I could think of) ask people to subscribe, like and COMMENT. The subscription is like a follow, the like is ofc like a heart, and the comment is equivalent to an rb with comments in the tags.

You might argue and tell me that a comment is basically like an ask so the reblogging step isn’t necessary, but I’m sure 99% of you use YouTube and you know that more comments leads to people’s videos boosted in the stream/trending charts. This is what reblogging does. Reblogging shares the piece with other people like minded, which leads to a boost in reads. You are literally helping your author grow.

It’s quite literally the same thing as youtubers. Youtubers NEED validation to keep their content creation going, so do writers, so do other ccs on this site. This post is however, focused on WRITERS, so keep that in mind.

♯ PROS :

By doing this, you’re giving author valuable feedback! It’s similar to what you do in rbing with tags. Interactivity with their fics boosts their note counts and helps expand their audience, so srsly, now think of it: your one comment is playing such a massive role to help ccs create more content.

Imagine how much of a difference the note counts will be in when every person who simply likes after reading the fic, reblogs, leaves a comment and sends an ask. the note counts would be high on each and every fic, which is validation in itself, but your comments would inspire the writer so much more! Please, don’t skip the commenting part. Even a simple one like: “this is so cute!” is wonderful.

♯ CONS :

Remember, if you’re gonna give constructive criticism (which I’m sure you all are smart enough to know if different from hate), make sure the author is okay with it. Authors need to be in a specific mindset and must be ready to accept criticism, so if you’re gonna give constructive criticism to them when they’re at a low point, it may demotivate them.

Just commenting, instead of reblogging and commenting in the tags/ reblogging and then leaving an ask in their inbox, while it gives validation in plenty, will not lead to the author’s work being spread. Therefore I suggest either reblogging and commenting in the tags or reblog and then leave an ask, or comment under the fic!

!! reminder; I am not saying that if you don’t rb and just leave feedback, your feedback has no value. We authors truly appreciate every bit of feedback, but this post is aimed to help you learn how to interact with and support authors, and make them feel more motivated, because the current scenario of liking and scrolling is taking a toll on their creative abilities. Take it from a person who’s been writing for a year.

#4 : COMMSIONING VIA THEIR KO-FI/OTHER APPS !

Before any of you attack me, let me tell you that this is not a step that is 100% necessary to do. ONLY donate if you can and if you genuinely want to, and if anyone is forcing you to pay for something against your will, you need to get yourself out of there.

Regardless, if an author has a kofi and you’re able to and you want to donate, you definitely should! It’s also a valid form of support.

#5 : ADDING THEM ON REC LISTS/ RECOMMENDING THEM TO REC BLOGS

This is such an underrated option, to be honest. I can’t tell you the number of times I’ve seen my fic was recommended onto some rec list and it’s made me smile so hard. If you like some fics, create a rec list! They’re oft very popular amongst the fans too. Making rec posts is such a great way to share your favorite stories with others.

Rec blogs! I’ve seen a couple going around, and needless to say they are a great way to get someone else to read your favorite author’s work whilst also giving them your own feedback. These blogs oft accept recs via a form or ask box, and they leave your feedback along with their own, or else they’ll oft tag the author in the feedback post, so look! You’re basically helping your author share their fic to many more people, because you’ve given them feedback and a reblog.

♯ PROS :

Validation! Feedback! Reblogs! More exposure! Helping a blog grow! Spreading love! basically a run down of the stuff I’ve said before!

♯ CONS :

Literally no con of this. Unless, a one in a million case, this author says they don’t like receiving feedback/being tagged, and I’m sure NO person has said this before, at least none that I’ve heard of.

#6 : FINAL COMMENTS; MISC !

When an author points out about how the interactivity is drastically reducing, don’t just give them blind apologies. Yes, you feel sorry for not interacting as much, we understand, but rather show that you’ll become a better content consumer through your actions. We need to see that we’re not just throwing words into a void and that people are actually trying to be better content consumers.

Understand the fact that authors don’t get paid for this, and 99% of the time, these authors don’t take commissions either. They’re giving you novel worthy writings for free. Take Percy Jackson: You think the author would have felt motivated to write the subsequent parts, let alone two whole series based off of it if literally no one showed that they were interested? Rick Riordan has sales, he is being paid, there are millions of people and big agencies who provide him feedback. Now take that huge amount and simmer it down to an audience of maybe 10000 people This is what fanfic authors want. They don’t want your money, nor are they telling you to risk your lives for them. All they want is, a reblog, some tags, some feedback, some INTERACTIVITY. A sign that they aren’t throwing fics into the void and that people actually like them, some motivation to continue. Seems fairly easy to throw an rb with some tags, right?

Don’t bother to tell me that we do this for ourselves and we shouldn’t ask for likes and reblogs and feedback, because 1) you are consuming the content that we “write for ourselves” and 2) writers post their content here for interactivity and feedback. We could just not post and write and save our fics in our dungeon drafts for years. But we choose to post to entertain the readers, the consumers. And we aren’t even asking that much in return.

Don’t give me the whole “I’m scared that authors feel that comments are annoying” excuse either because seriously this has been DEBUNKED SO MANY TIMES. Istg, in the nicest way possible, if you still think writers are annoyed by interaction and feedback, after so many posts, long rants have been posted as to how we’re not, then you must truly be living under a rock. There, I said it. Please stop thinking this way, I’ll say it again, AUTHORS ARE NOT ANNOYED OF FEEDBACK, COMMENTS, TAGS, REBLOGS. WE LOVE IT. Saying this is like saying that the audience in a theatre play shouldn’t clap when the play ends because the actors would find it noisy. 🤡

I’ve seen some people saying they have anxiety issues and such, so pls note that I’m not invalidating your condition. If you’re trying to be more interactive, I really appreciate it! If you can’t, that’s fine too. You’re trying.

But for the people who have no reason other than feeling lazy to rb and comment, your lack of interactiveness is not excused. Please. Tumblr is a reblogging site. If you’re gonna consume content like authors are some sort of machines, I encourage you to go get some more perspective.

This site is not Instagram or the satan bird app. Your likes are appreciated but frankly speaking, they do nothing to the author except tell them “Hey i read ur fic but i'm not gonna support u :D” and honestly, that is detrimental to their creative capabilities and mental health.

DON’T FOLLOW AN ACC JUST TO MINDLESS RB THEIR SIGNAL BOOST POSTS AND THEIR REBLOGS OF GIFS AND NOT INTERACT WITH THEIR WRITING AT ALL ! Trust me, authors prefer a lower amount of interactive followers than a high count that doesn’t even give them any feedback. Again your follows are appreciated, but when you’re following, you know the type of content the author creates, so the author expects that the more followers, the more interactivity. These days, this is just becoming the opposite. So don’t do it! If you’re gonna follow to read, interact with their works. I promise, this will make both you and the author happy. A win-win situation.

In conclusion: SUPPORT YOUR FUCKING AUTHORS! THEY ARE NOT MACHINES THAT HAVE NO FEELINGS TO PRODUCE CONTENT FOR YOU! FICS TAKE DAYS AND DAYS OF PLANNING, PLOTTING, OUTLINING, WRITING, EDITING, MAKING TEASERS. SO JUST SHOW THEM YOU APPRECIATE THEM WITH AN RB. IT’S THE L E A S T YOU CAN DO.

I will be liking this post here written by the lovely @chaninfused and @scriptura-delirus . Please take time to read it because if you weren’t convinced by my arguments, you will see how much frustration we as writers face on a daily basis. Please, just show support. Here is the post by @stayndays about how to get more people to read your work, because it also has a note on reblogging. Please educate yourself, and put an end to this mindless consuming culutre and bring up some interactivity.

If you’ve read this far, I want you to go to two of your favorite authors and leave some feedback in their inbox, and tag me in it (either tag me yourself or ask the author to do so, they won’t mind). Show your writers that our words are taking effect and you are becoming better consumers. I mean it. I’m serious. I want every single one who reads this post to do this. besides valid reasons, if you’re lazy to do this, you’re a part of the problem. PLEASE get more perspective.

Also, feel free to add to this post! I’d love to read your thoughts too, remember to be kind though. And, if I think your rb is somehow contradicting my points and is bringing down the reason I made this post, I will politely ask you to delete your comment, because this post is about being truthful about the harsh reality of tumblr consumers and how we can change it. I’m sure none of you will let it get to that point, though. <3 love you guys. 💓

And, just a reminder, don’t just blindly like this too. Do what I said before, and while I am not forcing you, I’d appreciate your reblog, because seriously, it took me 3 whole days to write this, plus, I’m sure this will help more of your followers understand the fault in consumer culture. haha, that’s it! This post was way too long uff.

also, this is ur cue to not be stupid in my inbox. You have something to say? Think I worded smth wrongly? I’m sure it wasn’t my intention to do so, point it out with manners.

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likesrandomstuff · 3 years ago

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Avalance Fic Recommendations Part 1

After answering @puppetavasharpe's callout last week, here, about Avalance fic recommendations, I realised that I hadn’t seen a master list in quite a while (please let me know if there is another one around). With encouragement from @heywhereisperry, I decided to compile one myself. I took a deep dive through my 107 pages of relevant AO3 history, to get this list together.

This is Part 1 of 4

Each part has ten stories and are sorted by size. This post has what I’m calling the Bite Sized Fics, which are under 5,000 words. I’ll be posting each list over the course of the next week. For each story I’ve tried to write a summary of what to expect from that fic, as the descriptions on AO3 may mask the true gem that is inside. I did stick to completed works, with exceptions as mentioned.

I’d love for these posts to become a resource for the whole fandom, and obviously this is not every good fic out there, so please reblog and add anything you thinks deserves a shout out. I can only read English, so if there are any fics in other languages, that would be cool to find out about. My one request is that you wait for the appropriate post to add to. You can just list the name if you’d like.

If anyone would like more details on any stories, or specific recommendations such as top Soulmates AU/ Canon fics / College AU, feel free to send me a message. Without further ado

Bite sized (Under 5,000 words)

When you’re looking for something short and sweet

The Bet by fvandomtrvsh

My tags: it’s a competition of who can get the number of the cute girl at the coffee shop, Sara has a head start the boys don’t know about, Ava is not amused

It’s stupid, but so fun. Nate has a crush on someone he runs into each morning and reckons he can ger her number. Constantine and Jax think they’ll have more luck. Sara is tired of their antics. Ava is questioning what she did to deserve this.

Paper Hearts by KatrinaKenyon

My tags: High school AU, Sara has a crush on Ava, tries to be anonymous but fails

An author who has written so many great Avalance fics, and I almost forgot to include on here. This is super cute. Sara tries to be Ava’s secret admirer, but Ava’s too smart for that. It works out in the end after some embarrassment.

painted me golden by lucylikestowrite

My tags: Avalance meet at Ava’s sister’s wedding, basically everything you need

Lucy’s stuff is great, I think she’ll be getting a shout out in each section. I can just see this fic so clearly in my head. Sara’s there when Ava would rather be anywhere else. The characterisations are just, so great.

those unexpected worries come at inconvenient times by Notabeautifullittlefool

My tags: Avalance bedroom fluff, they’re getting ready for bed and talk, would guess Season 5 in the timeline

They are just so soft. Sara has thoughts about them moving in together, Ava has a concern that no one else would ever have. Like putting on a cosy jumper. The whole fic takes place in their bedroom, and mostly in bed itself.

make me forget that I'm not ready for love by pirateygoodness

My tags: Set between season 3 and 4, their second first date, aka the plans Sara mentioned in Aruba.

Author is a titian of the fandom. This is very soft. I remember when the Season 4 trailer dropped, and the surprise to see Avalance in bed together. And everyone expecting them to have a slow build-up back together, then first episode Ava’s asking Sara to move in. This fic fills in the gap between seasons, and how they got from sort-of back together to being partially kept.

forever with your hands in my pockets by plinys

My tags: Sara’s goal to avoid studying actually makes her study, College AU where Ava is the TA, Sara's a dance major

College AU where Sara chose a hard subject because the class times were good and decides that she’ll sleep with Ava instead of studying; that doesn’t go to plan. As someone who was required to attend lecturer contact hours after failing my capstone maths subject twice, know that very few people do go to those sessions.

she loves me, she hates me, she's my kind of crazy by SJAandDWfan

My tags: Sara is getting a bit obsessed with Ava, the Legends are confused to why, we know why

I would just like to take a moment to appreciate this October 2017 fic that gets their dynamic so on point. Canon light. Sara is keeping track of how many times she saves Ava, and Ava saves her, and trying desperately to have a higher score. The train together, which we needed to see in canon 4 years ago.

a ring (to remember you by) by softiesharpie

My tags: Ava starts stealing Sara’s rings, canon verse, set before or in Season 4

I might be the only one to notice, but Sara always wore a bunch of rings up to her kidnapping, but since she’s been back it’s just been the one thick one. Ava, on the other hand, normally has a bunch on now. Anyway, Ava starts wearing Sara’s rings. It’s cute.

Make the Yuletide Gay by swanqueenismagic

My tags: Doctor Sara, Christmas fic, the hospital is a great place to meet someone Ava

Nothing like seeing a title and being like “oh, I remember that”, and the AO3 stats saying you read it once in 2018. Make that twice now. Ava’s twin is having her baby, Sara delivers it, it’s cute, there’s cookies involved.

Sleeveless by the_nvisiblegirl

My tags: Arms, Ava loves Sara’s arms, we all love Sara’s arms

Set in season 5 when Sara is blind. Ava starts picking out her outfits. They all have something in common. No sleeves. Again, arms.

Click here to see all the parts

#Avalance fic rec #Avalance #Sara Lance #Ava Sharpe #fanfiction

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sexy-velociraptors · 2 years ago

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WELCOME TO THE NEW KINK-BLOG-IN-PROGRESS

What’s up? I’m Leo. 25, submissive, transmasc. I use he/him pronouns IRL but u can call me “it” here.

I was super active on tumblr before the Purge, my url was velociraptors-jerkin-it. I’m looking to get back into the game, but it seems the game has changed, so please LMK if I’ve got any faux-pas or red flags going on.

THE BORING STUFF:

A DNI list has always struck me as kinda silly (have they ever stopped anyone, ever?), but they seem to be standard, so I’ll get the basics out of the way.

Minors, get your jailbait asses out of here.

Right wingers GTFO, centrists are on Thin Fucking Ice.

ED/Self-Harm/Suicide/etc blogs. If you’re personally struggling, please seek help, but I’ve been there and I’m not talking about you. I mean the proana/thinspo/whatever-the-fuck-y’all’re-calling-yourselves-these-days types, and those who glorify harm to themselves and others.

People who are into hard limits of mine can still interact, but please don’t send messages/leave captions pertaining to them.

Likewise, straight men and lesbians can follow, but I’d really not hear from y’all.

On the tumblr #disc-horse front, asexuals are fantastic, so are people of any and every gender, pronouns, and presentation. Liking weird porn doesn’t inherently make a person immoral or harmful, IRL immoral and harmful actions do.

MY HARD LIMITS INCLUDE (BUT ARE NOT LIMITED TO):

Dick pics

Incest (including daddy kink and stepfamily)

Vomit/scat/watersports

Blood (as well as knives, needles, etc)

Misgendering/detrans/sissification

Breeding kink

Ageplay

Guns

Bestiality (as defined by the Harkness Test)

Necrophilia

Anything that violates IRL people’s consent (fictional people are fair game)

I’m in charge of curating my own online experience, if I follow someone on my own DNI list that’s my fault. If one of those things applies to you and you’d like to let me know, that’d be awesome, but is not mandatory.

That being said, I can and will block with impunity. If you send me anything to do with my hard limits you will get an instablock. If you send me dick pics you will get an instablock. Age stuff is iffy, but if I deem you too old or young for me I may politely ask u to lay off (unless you’re under 18, in which case, instablock)

THE FUN STUFF

My kinks are too numerous to list, and I discover new ones all the time. I’m a masochistic service sub into bondage, degradation, objectification, and god-knows-what-else. I also have what I like to call a “möbius kink”: indulging other people’s people’s fetishes gets me off, even/especially when they’re not my own. For example, I have zero interest in feet, but I’ve had a great time sucking the toes of someone who did.

I have a toybox I’m rather proud of, if I do say so myself. I’ve got plenty of restraints, vibes, hurty-things, the list goes on. I’ll probably post more info about it soon.

Captions on my photos are welcome and encouraged!

REMEMBER THE OLD BLOG?

The old blog was largely kinky reblogs, but I had a system for my original content. Anyone could send in a request for any photo (within my limits), and I’d post it. I want to bring that back! With a few caveats:

A. My living situation limits my ability to take creative photos. I may be simply unable to get every photo from every angle like I used to.

B. This is probably not going to be sustainable. At some point the photo request rules will change to make the workload manageable, and you all have to promise to be cool about it, ok?

C: I worked way too hard on the old blog for zero money. I’ll likely work out an honor-based tip system. This is also under the banner of “I warned you in advance so you have to promise to be cool about it”

If you have any old pics/posts from the old blog, I’d love to see them! Most of those nudes are lost to time AFAIK

ABOUT MY BODY/GENDER:

I’m a trans man. Transmasculine. FTM. If you don’t know what that is, Google is free. If you don’t think that exists, the unfollow and block buttons are right there.

If you have “men DNI” “cis men DNI” or similar in your bio, I won’t be interacting. You have the right to draw boundaries, but cis men and I are the same gender.

I got top surgery in Jan 2022. I don’t have nipples anymore. I think this is extremely sexy of me and I’m correct.

I’ve been on and off testosterone since Feb 2016. I’ve been off it long enough (due to circumstance changes, not gender ones) that I’m not as hairy as I used to be. This is relevant bc the old blog got popular among body hair fetishists (my möbius kink at work)

I have a clitoris, T made it much larger than a cis woman’s. You can call it a clit, or a cock, or a shrimpdick, or just about anything else. I also have a vagina, which I tend to call my front hole or my cunt. You can call it a pussy, but please don’t call it anything feminine or things like “pretty”.

I’d like to think that’s all, but I’m sure there will be more I’ll have to add at some point. Consider all of the above subject to change.

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hell-is-a-teenage-girll · 4 years ago

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hey! i saw your reblog about intimacy and autism and i wonder if you had any advice or resources about navigating sex and kink with an autistic partner. my girlfriend recently received a diagnosis and so i’m trying to learn more about it. we haven’t been intimate yet but i want to know if there’s anything i can do to make the experience better, safer, and easier for her. thanks so much! 💗

So I don’t have any resources from my head that I can think off, but I can give you my point of view and I thought it might be interesting to also read the point of view from my partner, as someone who is together with a person who has autism, so if you like you could wait after I posted this to see what my gf will add in a reblog.

So I think it’s so cute that you’re trying to learn how to deal. Also I hope your gf is doing okay with the recent diagnose, I remember being very happy and relieved about it, but I know not everyone feels that way.

the first important thing I can think of is talk about triggers, both good and bad. And overtriggering.

Each person with autism is different and each will because of that have different triggers. Some smell, light, sounds, touch...

If she has trouble with maybe giving verbal signs, talk about non verbal ones like a tapping signal.

For example I like it (mainly)dark, because my vision will not distract me too much, I like music as I don’t always like hearing certain sounds (I got extremely good hearing) and music also makes me peaceful and tune out my own thoughts more. I like being overstimulated, but that is something you either really have to discuss or if she doesn’t know yet you can find out together what the limits are. Because again each one is different and my triggers or things that help me enjoy might be completely opposite of your girlfriend

communication is SO important as people with autism often need alot of clarity. And most of us are also extremely honest so if we trust you and say we’re fine with something, we are, if we say we aren’t, we aren’t and if we say “I don’t know” we legit don’t know (yet) and you could ask then if they are open to trying and finding out or not.

Aftercare is another super important thing, but something you could again find a patern together in, or ask her if she knows things that make her feel safe or if she knows what you might like.

If she finds it hard to be vocal about certain things, I personally found it helped me alot to ask me yes or no questions about certain topics, hard no’s, ...

So alot of it will be personal, we’re all very different but a thing most of us will relate to is overtriggering, overwhelming and communication, but again if anyone else has good resources or has more tips, please feel free to add on with reblogging, send it to me in ask or put it in the comments.

I’ll let my gf reblog this with an answer of her own, Maybe it’ll help you as it will be from a person in your position basically.

Good luck!

#asks #autism #autism asks #autism and kink #autism and sex #autism and love

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fruitcoops · 3 years ago

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Hi Eve,

I'm not gonna lie, I hesitated writing this and then I considered doing it on anon (but 'say it with your full chest' is an important principle to me) and then I considered doing it as post on my blog, but vague posting is very 2009.

Anyway, I hope you don't mind me sending this and if you do do feel free to delete it, or reply privately- Not that you need my permission.

I completely understand your requests posts and you are very entitled to be mad about feeling undervalued as a writer. It really is a problem in the fanfic communities. I know that you put so much effort into you work and something just piss us off. [Cue me raging as I delete request that are clearly on my blacklist. The post is right there at the top of my blog!! Ahem, sorry for that wee rant]

I would just like you consider that perhaps English is not some of those anons first language, and some of those anon will come from cultures that don't have the same ideas on making requests. I've known cultures where saying please in these circumstances could even be considered impolite because it's kind of like begging and puts on pressure. Or maybe they just aren't neurotypical and this didn't land as an area where a please is necessary (I could kind of understand. At the end of the day, it's really just a yes/no question. Please do say please though, folks)

Now obviously some of those people make the most polite requests, often overly polite because they are compensating. And if that request did just come from a rude anon I hope they were thoroughly humbled and learnt a lesson.

I just didn't want your post to get reblogged by 100 people and some individual feel shit when they really didn't mean to cause offence. Also, I for myself personally, it helps because it really does feel rubbish to think people undervalue you and that just might not be the case.

But most of all, I want you to enjoy writing and to know the vast majority of us appreciate your work more than you could ever know. I can only speak for myself, but whilst I am in awe of your upload rate, please please prirotise yourself. Do the things you love and look after yourself. We'll still be here waiting when you get back, and if you do decide to stop writing we have so much to re-read and will enjoy whatever participation you choose to make in the sweater weather universe. Your brain is genius.

Hi Lucy! This is a super great point (several of them, in fact) that I didn't take the time to consider, and I really should have. I was too preoccupied with my frustration at the apparent rudeness of one too many anons and tired from some bumpy days to think about cultural differences, as well as tone through the internet. I should have done better.

FIrst and foremost, I never intended that post to call anyone out or vague about specific people (like you said, very 2009). It was meant only as a reminder that I'm a person, and was borne out of the tone of some requests rubbing me the wrong way. Translating tone to text is extremely difficult--it never crossed my mind to remember that some of the blunt requests that bothered me could have been perfectly nice from the viewpoint of the writer.

I'd like to extend an apology to anyone who felt excluded or targeted. I was upset, and I should have taken a moment to think about the reasons why a request could seem rude to me, rather than jumping to the conclusion that it was intentional on the writer's part. I've done my best to keep this blog a safe space for everyone and I'd like to keep it that way, so please know that I'm sorry if I excluded anyone, no matter how unintentionally. I should have looked past my own emotions and thought of the effect they could have on others.

If there's anything else people would like to bring up, please don't hesitate! I'll do whatever I can to keep this blog positive <3

#not fic #eve speaks

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nxrthmizu · 4 years ago

Text

| when the days are cold | Tsukishima Kei

»»——⍟——««

song | Demons - Imagine Dragons

pairing | Tsukishima Kei x Reader

words | 1.2k

warning(s) | mentions of abuse

author’s note | HELLO FELLOW BEANPOLE LOVERS ARE YOU READY TO BE SAD? HELL YEAH LETS GO on another note I think I’ve mentioned this already I’m in tag jail so it would be very very very helpful if you could reblog my posts! I don’t think people will see this on their dashboard otherwise. Thank you! :3

»»——⍟——««

He remembered.

He remembered all the ‘what if’s and the ‘I’ll never be good enough for her’s that plagued him from the very moment Yamaguchi got tired of his best friend’s hopelessness in the progress of his love life.

When the days are cold and the cards all fold

“He likes you.” Yamaguchi pointed blatantly at the blonde, all of his shyness having fled after the freckled teen went through three years of high school and was named the captain of the volleyball club. Yamaguchi Tadashi had become a fully-fledged crow, standing tall and proud in all his fresh-university-graduate glory. “Has liked you for a while now and is too much of an idiot to ask you out. Can you go out with him?”

And the saints we see are all made of gold

“Um.”

If he was given a palette with all the shades of red known to men, he would be able to pinpoint the exact colour your cheeks turned in the cold of the white backdrop Miyagi’s early winter provided.

“Yamaguchi, shut-”

“Sure.” You were fidgeting with the frilly strands of your scarf, your eyes shying away from his. “I’d love to go out with you, Tsukishima.”

Yamaguchi had to resist the urge to close Tsukishima’s gaping jaw as he stared at you in shock, taking a moment to recompose himself. “You do know you don’t have to, right?” The blonde eyed you carefully. “I’d be a terrible boyfriend. You know me. Heck, I’m a terrible friend.”

“O- Only you think that.” You mumbled, fiddling with a strand of your hand now. “You’re nicer than you think.”

He would be lying if he said that dating you wasn’t the best thing to ever happen to his life. You were always there, whether he was dealing with the unfamiliarities of his new museum job, or when Sendai Frogs had a match with EJP Raijin (And you were there when they lost, too).

When your dreams all fail and the ones we hail

“Hey.”

Looking up to see your eyes after just having his spike blocked by a smirking Suna Rintarou was comforting, to say the least. Pride shone in your eyes, despite the fact the thirty-minute deuce between Sendai Frogs and EJP Raijin was ended by Tsukishima’s shut-down spike.

“You did great out there.” Your voice flowed into his aching muscles like warm honey, soothing the soreness away and oxidising the lingering acid. “I didn’t dare to blink.”

“Then you would’ve seen that pathetic spike, huh.” He replied bitterly, looking down and backing away from your touch.

You gasped, sounding offended and exaggerating your movements. “How dare you say that about my boyfriend!” You scowled, jabbing a finger at his chest. “I won’t tolerate anyone talking shit about him. I’ll have you know he drags himself to practice even after he’s had a tiring day at his day job, and I’ll have you know that he trains very hard, thank you very much.”

Are the worst of all and the blood's run stale

You were there, when lightning flashed across the sky and you learned that Tsukishima Kei was scared of thunderstorms. You were there, when his mother fell sick and things weren’t looking particularly good. You were there, when cutting remarks shot out from his mouth like a barrage of arrows because the monster inside him was howling, scratching, and tearing from inside his rib cage.

But it wasn’t as if you didn’t have monsters of your own, either.

I want to hide the truth, I want to shelter you

“Heads up!” You grinned, taking Tsukishima by surprise as you whacked him with a pillow, bursting into a fit of intoxicating giggles when he responded with a surprised Pikachu face.

“Oh, you’re going to regret that.” He wore a sly smirk, picking up his own pillow and setting down his phone on the bedside table. The bed sunk where he pushed himself up, curving downwards like a vortex. A predatorial grin decorated his lips as he crawled towards you, moving suddenly to raise the pillow.

You flinched visibly, panic flitting across your eyes, your hands extending in front of you in a defensive position until you realised what you had just done.

“K- Kei, it’s not what it looks like...” You shivered, seeing realisation dawn into his hazel-gold eyes.

But with the beast inside, there's nowhere we can hide

“That bastard... Your ex... He hurt you, didn’t he?” The growl rumbled in his throat, anger flashing in his eyes until he saw the fear reflected in your eyes. “Shortcake, I’m so sorry...”

Shaking your head furiously, you reached forward the wipe the apologetic expression off his features. “It’s not your fault.” You said firmly, trying not to let your voice shake.

“I should’ve known.” He argued, setting down the pillow to diligently wrap his arms around your waist. “I shouldn’t have moved towards you like that.”

“There was no way you could’ve known.” You refuted quietly, bringing your fingers up to caress his face. “I didn’t... I didn’t want you to know this side of me.” You admitted guiltily.

No matter what we breed, we still are made of greed

He stared at you, befuddled. “Shortcake... I would never judge you for it. You know that.”

This is my kingdom come, this is my kingdom come

“I know, I just...”

When you feel my heat, look into my eyes

“Look at me.” He gently cradled your face in his hands, fingers caressing your skin as if it were the most precious thing in the world. “I have my own demons, too, Y/N.”

“You don’t understand.” You cried softly. “He left scars, Kei.”

It was only then it dawned on him why the two of you never bathed together. If the two of you got home from work at the same time, you would always let him bath first. He had thought it was because he was the one who had volleyball practice and probably smelt worse- But now he realised it was because you didn’t want him to see what you deemed as the ‘ugly’ side of you.

It's where my demons hide, it's where my demons hide

“Hold on,” He frowned, scrunching up his nose. “You’re telling me that this whole time, you’ve refused to let me see you naked- Is because of your scars? That’s stupid.”

You sniffled, feeling tears prick the edge of your eyes. “B- But it’s... It’s such an ugly side of me.”

Don't get too close, it's dark inside

“And?” Demanded Kei, his hazel-gold eyes piercing into your soul. “So what if you think it’s ugly? I couldn’t care less. If anything, I think it’s proof that you were brave enough to leave him.”

It's where my demons hide, it's where my demons hide

“You... Think I’m brave?”

“I think you’re the bravest person ever.” He said firmly, pleased as your tears started drying and your smile reformed. “There we go.” His voice was soft, the two of you sitting in each other’s embrace for a moment longer, the pillow fight forgotten. “Do you want to move onto the bed? It’s much more comfortable for cuddling.”

»»——⍟——««

taglist. @mrs-kuroojinguji @procrastination-lady @drippinginhoneyandgold @shoyosun@aka-a-shii @shibayamasbae @churochuu @seijohlogy @tsumuseum-deactivated20201211

send an ask to either @owlywrites or @cadenceh2o to be added to Cadowly’s Songfic December taglist!

also sorry that I posted this late lol, I just finished writing it :P

»»——⍟——««

#tsukishima kei #tsukishima kei x reader #tsukishima kei fluff #haikyuu!!#haikyuu!! x reader #kei tsukishima #tsukishima x reader #tsukishima fanfiction #haikyuu!! fluff #tw abuse #karasuno x reader #karasuno boys #cadowly's songfic december

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andersunmenschlich · 3 years ago

Text

"Was I Abused" game

Copied and pasted from this post by @furiousgoldfish (to save space since you can't reformat anything in posts you reblog).

Is it accurate? Who knows! My memories of childhood are incomplete! Besides, a lot of these things seem frankly normal to me and not abusive at all... which, if they are abusive, is probably an especially bad sign. Hm. Anyway, on to the game!

Reblog and bold the things your parents have done to you! Italicize if you're not sure. (copy paste it all and then bold)

Physical abuse

parent slapped me to prove their point / teach me a lesson (I don't remember. It would have been loss of temper anyhow, not point-proving or lesson-teaching.)

parent spanked me as a “punishment” saying it was for my own good (Hey, I was raised full-on Michael Pearl TTUAC-style. This is foundational.)

parent pulled on my hair to force me to move

parent threw things at me while angry, things heavy enough to hurt me (Kind of? She and my sister were on my bed, top bunk. I was cowering on the floor. But I dunno if she was angry.)

parent trapped me in a room/corner so I couldn’t escape them (I don't remember. But I do know, in my very bones, that there was no escape from them. You couldn't run. You couldn't hide. And trying would only make things worse.)

parent hit me when I wouldn’t obey them / tried to confront them (To Train Up A Child, people.)

parent used a twig / stick / belt to lash at my body (Again—this is the Pearl technique. My parents broke a lot of wooden paint mixing sticks on me before discovering this whippy plastic rod about the thickness of a pencil! You could sharpen the end in a pencil sharpener, too. They had a ton of those, it seemed like. And a short one for trips outside the house; it fit in Mom's purse.)

parent grabbed me to force me to pay attention to them

parent pinned me down and physically prevented me from escaping (...Yeah. Again, this is the Pearl technique.)

parent brought me into situations where I feared for my life (I—look, it's not like the fears were rational or anything. It's just that the world is terrifying when you're autistic and so much hurts. And have been taught your whole life that "the world" is a terrible, dangerous place that can kill you both physically and spiritually. Yeah.)

parent made it painfully obvious for me that I’ll obey them or suffer injuries (I mean. TTUAC.)

parent threatened to beat me if I wouldn’t do as they say (This was the most basic part of my childhood. Like air. Under what circumstances would this not be the case? Unimaginable.)

parent forcefully fed me something I refused to eat (Does not letting you eat between meals, and putting the same food in front of you at each meal—over and over again until you either eat it or it grows mold—count?)

parent made an attempt at strangling / drowning / burning me

parent banged my head / body into the wall / furniture (To be fair, I hit him first. And it's not like I broke the table when his punch sent me across the room: I didn't hit it that hard. Just busted open the back of my head a bit.)

parent forced me into sexual activities

Emotional abuse

parent called me derogatory names and slurs more than once (Frankly, I'm still reasonably convinced that I am a monster. And evil. And I am definitely a fool, at least biblically speaking. "The fool says in his heart, 'There is no god,'" indeed.)

parent said my name mostly with hatred and scorn in their voice (To be fair, it was my name.)

parent degraded and humiliated me in front of others for fun

parent insulted and devalued something really important to me (I mean, in retrospect, it was dumb. Just a worthless paper model of a house, that's all. It wasn't even that great. I was a little kid, after all. So what if I'd spent all day on it? It was still garbage, really.)

parent deprived me of something that meant the world to me (I don't remember. I genuinely don't remember, but I still have trouble admitting that I care about anything because part of me is terrified that if anyone knows I like a thing they'll have a way to hurt me, and that fear has to have come from somewhere, right?)

parent yelled and swore at me in anger more than once

parent blamed me for things that were out of my control/not my fault (And they do feel bad about this now.)

parent shamed me for my physical appearance

parent guilt-tripped me for not pleasing them well enough (I mean, they tried. But good luck; I have no idea what guilt feels like. I bought a book about it because I was curious.)

parent regarded me as a burden, and shamed me for needing them at all (Hmm. I don't really do shame either. I was a burden, though.)

parent insisted I couldn’t take a joke after I was hurt by their insults

parent never comforted me / got angry if I reached for comfort (Again, to be fair: I'm autistic. I'm pretty sure they were just having trouble with my body language and facial expressions. Why else would they punish me for bad attitude when all I wanted was to be cooed at and fluttered over with the same concern they showed my siblings when they cried about their wounded knees?)

parent punished me for crying / showing fear / showing trauma symptoms

parent humiliated me for showing excitement and happiness

parent subtly let me know that my feelings and my problems don’t matter (They, uh. They don't. My feelings and problems are mine. Why should anyone else care? It's genuinely not their problem.)

parent got angry at me for feeling depressed / angry / tired / suicidal

parent blamed me for feeling depressed / angry / tired / suicidal (Who else's fault would it be? They're my feelings, produced by my body and brain, experienced only by me, in my own head. Dang if I see how anybody else could be to blame.)

parent compared me to cousins / other children to prove how I’m the worst (Dang you, Perfect Second Child. ... Although... in retrospect... that set-up wasn't great for you either, was it. Hm.)

parent decided for me how I feel when it was convenient for them

parent told me that I was crazy / delusional / need to be locked away (I don't remember. It sounds familiar. But I don't. I don't remember.)

parent threatened me with kicking me out / sending me away if I don’t change (Kind of? Does it count if you overhear your parents talking about it in their locked bedroom? Not their fault I was listening at the door, surely. They were genuinely considering it. I can't blame them. I was a terrible child.)

parent refused to accept my sexuality gender / tried to force it to change

parent required me to act normal to protect family’s reputation

parent isolated me from family activities they all enjoy (Nooo, haha, I did that all on my own.)

parent assured me that nobody will ever want me (I mean... "only a mother could love" is a saying for a reason. And if even my own mother couldn't love me, well! I don't remember whether anyone told me this outright. It just seemed... obvious.)

parent insisted that I was lucky and that I could have had it much worse (I could have!)

parent made me responsible for their well-being and made me the caretaker

parent insisted that their harmful acts were all done “out of love” (The subject of love was confusing. "I don't love you," "I hate you," "I have to love you because you're my child, so I love you—but I don't have to like you, and I don't, I don't like you at all" ...it was all very confusing.)

parent demanded I be available for their requests at any time (Well, yes, obviously. To Train Up A Child was very clear about this.)

parent punished me for trying to establish boundaries (Boundaries, boundaries. Hmm. Interesting concept....)

parent destroyed my belongings as a form of revenge (Revenge? I don't know. Consequences, I think it was. For keeping all my favorite toys on my bed, and nesting in them. So obviously they had to be thrown onto the floor. And at my head. Ahaha.)

parent made inappropriate sex jokes and comments in my presence

parent denied doing any of this and insists that all the blame is on me (I'm not sure they aren't right, honestly. As previously noted, I am a horrible person, and I was even more horrible as a child.)

Psychological Abuse

parent kept pointing out my flaws as proofs that I won't achieve anything (Mmm... was it them, or was it me doing this? Seems like they were always telling me how intelligent I was, how talented, how much promise I had. The voices asking why wasn't I doing anything, why couldn't I use the gifts God had given me correctly, why was I wasting it all, I'm the stupidest smart person ever, garbage, can't do anything right, etc., seem to have always come from my own mind.)

parent called me stupid, incompetent, ignorant, while withholding information that I needed to know in order to complete tasks

parent would change their side of the agreement at a crucial moment and then pretend it was obvious from the start

parent stalked me / distrusted me without any reason / invaded my privacy (I'm really not sure. What privacy? A four-bedroom house with twelve people in it has very little room for privacy. And if you have nothing to hide....)

parent attacked my insecurities and vulnerabilities in any argument (Dad's always been very good at this. It's his emotional intelligence, I think. Never been much of a cryer, but he can do it to me every time!)

parent forced me into degrading actions while they watched

parent threatened to leave me

parent regularly accused me of behaving the way they did

parent never acknowledged, praised or approved of my actions

parent always demanded they be acknowledged as right without any proof / explanation (Sort of? They had explanations. It's just that those explanations were often terrible. Not that my parents were aware of that.)

parent insisted that they’re a great parent using financial support as proof

parent insisted that I should be grateful for how good they are to me (Keeping me safe from the world! The evil, dirty, disgusting world, full of immoral monsters! Oh, the horrible things that could happen to me without their protection! ...Which is not entirely untrue, I guess. But... I dunno....)

parent gaslit me and tried to make me believe my memories weren’t real if I confronted them with what they did

Neglect

parent didn’t notice I haven’t been eating properly (Frankly, I preferred that. I never much cared for being forced to eat things that made me feel sick.)

parent didn’t notice I was sick / didn’t care for me while I was sick

parent didn’t notice I was injured (Eh. After the first few years of my life, that suited me just fine.)

parent didn’t notice I didn’t have clothes / shoes I needed for school (I didn't go to school.)

parent didn’t notice I suffered from trauma (Look, it's—it's the autism again, okay? Living in a world that hurts you horribly at unpredictable moments is traumatic. I didn't know it was trauma. I just thought it was life. So how could they have known?)

parent didn’t notice I was anxious and stressed (Oh, they noticed that.)

parent didn’t notice I was depressed (Once again—I didn't realize. So how could they? I'm really not sure this counts.)

parent didn’t notice I was cutting myself (Whipping myself, actually. With tree branches. Until the skin broke. Hmm, that was when I was in my early teens, though—as a kid I used to turn a little wooden rocking chair upside down and throw myself into the sharp ends of the rockers. To be fair, they might have noticed. Just... who really cares? I was a rough and tumble kid. Scrapes and bruises and cuts and what-have-you were to be expected. Anyway, there was no cutting; I never cut myself.)

parent didn’t notice I was suicidal (I wasn't. I'm not. I won't be. Mind over matter. Ha.)

parent didn’t notice I was being sexually abused

parent didn’t notice I was being bullied

parent failed to get me medical attention when it was needed

parent failed to teach me the very basics of self care

parent didn’t seem to notice any of my needs and feelings except the absolute minimum I required to survive (Uh. Anything more than the absolute minimum you require to survive isn't a need. You need to survive. Do you really need anything else? I mean, it's nice, a definite plus, but....)

when I notified them of these things, they denied it, accused me of lying, decided it wasn’t happening and/or blamed me for it

Financial Abuse

parent made me feel ashamed for needing money

parent made me feel like I was a financial burden to them (But I was. Come on, now. There's no way honesty counts as abuse. ...Is there?)

parent only gave me minimal money to survive (I don't—there were kids out there getting money from their parents? I mean, they're giving you clothes, food, and shelter already. What for would you need money? I must be missing something.)

parent made sure I never have a decent amount of money on me (Again—I never had that much money. Quarters from the Tooth Fairy: that was it. Money from birthday cards or whatever went in the college fund under their bed. "For your future." And I raided that stash later to buy books anyhow.)

parent took the money I earned from me

parent used the money to blackmail me (if you continue this way let’s see who will pay for your bus ticket!)

parent insisted since they “pay for my stuff” they have the right to control my behaviour and actions (and attitudes. Is this, um. Is this not true?)

parent had enough money for luxury but kept me without anything

parent refused to get my medicine / get me medical attention because it’s too expensive while they got everything for themselves (Nah, they didn't visit the doctor either.)

parent would keep me anxious over if they would pay my expenses or not

parent would make me do as much work for them as possible before they would pay for a necessity

parent kept me in the dark over family finances even when I was of age (Was that them, though? Or was that me? It's difficult to know what's going on with your money when you can't go outside during the day—so no bank visits—and you don't have the password to your bank account because you never asked for it, so you can't do anything online. Which was just as well, because my laptop was... not great. Almost certainly terribly insecure.)

parent would make sure I never have enough money to escape them

If you bold more than 5 things, you have been through abuse. For some particular ones, even one true thing on this list means you’ve been badly harmed by your parents. Also this list is not complete, there are many more abusive behaviours not listed here, feel free to add!

#furiousgoldfish #'Was I Abused' game #child abuse #?#memories #Isaiah muses

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rechoired · 4 years ago

Text

A problem with the Tales Of Arcadia community

First and foremost, I’d like to ask anyone taking the time to read this to please read the post all the way through before commenting on the matter. There is a lot of dirty laundry to unpack here, and some points will be building off previous ones.

I’ll get right to the point. Most everybody in the Tales of Arcadia fandom will have heard of the blog imthegingerninja / ginger-le-gay. She is one of the most well-known ToA-centric blogs, after all. (If you’re wanting to avoid her on Twitter as well, her account is Margaret Bell, or @The_Book_Bell.)

This is your PSA, TOA fandom: Ginger is a toxic, manipulative person.

This is not a claim I like to make lightly, but it’s long overdue that this issue is properly brought up within the fandom.

I’ve seen so many people wonder why the Tales of Arcadia fandom is so small. Well, I and many others very strongly believe that Ginger is one of the main reasons for that, if not the main one. To make matters easier, I’ve tried to break this down into some main points. So let’s take a look at how Ginger falls under this category.

Disclaimer: Please DO NOT look at this post as an excuse to harass Ginger or any other blog mentioned here. This sort of behavior is NOT acceptable. The point of this post is to educate those who may not know the extent of her harrowing behavior, nothing more.

1. Dishonesty and Death Threats

[EDIT: Shortly after this post went up, she started blatantly lying about me to try to cover for herself. You can see those lies being easily disproven here]

Ginger has been kicked from at least three Tales of Arcadia servers, all for similar reasons of violence. While I cannot provide screenshots as I am no longer part of the servers they were in, there are multiple witnesses that can verify the disgusting behavior she engaged in. The one I saw specifically was her saying that certain members of the fandom should be gathered up and hunted for sport, among other gross things. (Elaboration of why can be found in point 3, though it still doesn’t excuse this kind of talk)

Here is some points made by another blog that also sums up similar issues with Ginger, though:

While there were multiple instances of her inciting violence towards others, this is unfortunately one topic I cannot provide specific screenshots for at this time. But I will add them in as I can find them. That being said, I want to move to the dishonesty, something I do have a screenshot for.

While you could argue that people sometimes notice the similar things, this is far too close together to be considered an “original find”. The reblog button is there for a reason, but she instead decides to steal the OP’s premise and present it as her own original thought.

There have been a couple other blogs that have confirmed that their theories and analysis posts were often stolen and presented as Ginger’s own as well, to the point where they stopped bothering even making such posts, as the above blog points out. (Out of respect for their privacy, I will not be naming these blogs. Say what you will about that possibly weakening my point, but if she’s willing to so blatantly steal from that person shown above, it shouldn’t surprise you that she’s so willing to do it to others.)

Theory-making and analysis posts aren’t as solidly “original content” as a piece of art or fanfiction, sure, but it’s still common fandom courtesy to give credit where it’s due. Ginger has intentionally avoided extending that courtesy far too many times.

2. Hypocrisy

Most of this is going to be about past Merlin vs. Morgana drama, though there are also words to be said for the incredibly shaky relationships she forms with “friends”.

But first let’s talk about those wizards.

This is a topic I’ve tried to approach with Ginger before, but she borderline refused to acknowledge any of the points I was trying to make, and when she did, I don’t know if I just wasn’t being clear or what, but it honestly looked as though she was purposefully trying to misunderstand what I was saying in her bizarre responses. (To be fair, I was sending messages out of anger because she vagueposted about a blog I admired, calling them a “disgusting creep” because of them simply saying they’d hoped Jim and Merlin would be able to actually bond at some point... Not really a justifiable reaction to such a harmless thought, in my opinion. But my point is, I recognize that the circumstances may have clouded my ability to vocalize my thoughts clearly.)

That aside, we should first acknowledge this post Ginger made to save face after having gotten some backlash about hate-train related things (Side note: I couldn’t find the original post, so this is a screenshot I got from someone else. I did not add the writing. The text underneath it should still be slightly readable, I hope.):

Taken at face value, this is a very reasonable post. I think everybody would and should be able to agree on it. Hate-meme him for fun, sure, but don’t actually harass or insult others over a fictional character. Simple, right?

Apparently not, because Ginger’s done loads of that to others. Probably why the “LOL” was added in, I bet.

This post confused me. First of all, exploring dark topics (”angst”, as you put it) has never been a rare occurrence, every fandom has that content, most in heavy abundance. I’ve noticed no staggering difference in volume of this fandom compared to others I’ve been in. People enjoy angst not because they think the character “deserves to be in pain”, they enjoy a fictional blow to their own emotions. There’s lots of different reasons people like angst, but it’s barely ever been out of a genuine hate for whatever character’s the focus, from all the things I’ve seen. Your own friends have indulged in Jim angst and body horror posts before, does that mean you think they’re awful people? I feel like I shouldn’t have to explain something like this.

Also, way to basically admit you think all Merlin stans get off on child torture. So much for “If you like Merlin as a character, you’re valid”, am I right? God, what a mess of a post. (It’s been very recently deleted, which makes me wonder if she got more backlash on it, but just... wow.)

Let’s look at another one.

Again. Vagueposting about someone specific, I’d wager, since most of the people I’ve seen comment on this topic either think both characters are morally gray, or hate both.

But of course, when it comes to Morgana, suddenly excusing bad behavior can be justified. Ginger can call someone a disgusting creep because they want a familial bond between Jim and Merlin, that’s just wrong, but pushing the Mom-gana narrative with the genocidal abuser and Toby is completely fine, folks.

(Note: I would like to point out that I really don’t care about what theories and hopes people have for Morgana. You should be allowed to love that character in any way you want, same as I would say for Merlin. My issue with these examples is the completely brazen hypocrisy in which these two characters are treated. You’re obviously allowed to love Morgana without consequence, but the same should be said for any character of the show, and yet it’s not.)

The most obvious instance of this double-standard is well observable here, I believe:

... I think this mostly speaks for itself. Sorry, but this is very blatantly trying to excuse Morgana’s actions, here.

Oh hey, remember that post about Ginger saying that liking Merlin must mean you want to see Jim in horrible pain?

Say anything similar about her with Morgana, and suddenly she takes issue with this line of reasoning!

I’m sorry, but if you can’t take this sort of thing, then you shouldn’t be dishing it out. One of your own friends is still getting hate over the simple fact of liking Merlin, and all this mentality is exactly why.

Let’s look at one more.

Fun fact! Morgana horrifically abused somebody for centuries, tried to kill multiple kids, took horrible advantage of Claire (probably traumatized her), and canonically wanted to genocide humanity, not to mention all the OTHER murders she's committed, both directly and indirectly.

But somehow pointing any of this out “doesn’t count”. This is why the fandom keeps saying more and more things like this:

And this:

I could be going through her constant hating on Merlin and people who like Merlin for days straight, but I hope you all get the idea by now.

Again, I would like to just reiterate: You can like whatever character you want for whatever reason you want. The problem with this case is the hypocrisy and mistreatment of others, not your taste in characters.

Now interestingly enough, she’s lately been singing a different tune about the guy, switching from the “I hate Merlin I hope he dies!!!” mentality to “Oh he should get a redemption arc too :)” sort of thing.

I’m highly convinced that the only reasons for this “change of heart” is because of the constant backlash she was getting for the obnoxious amount of hate posts being thrown around all the time, but also because Aaron Waltke keeps tabs on the fandom more lately, and has spoken himself about Merlin not being a villain.

I could go on about this point forever, but I think I’ll just leave the Merlin topic with this post going through the hypocrisy of the Merlin Hate Train. In fact, here’s two just for fun.

Now onto more real-world focused areas of hypocrisy. One such instance can be found in Ginger’s Janus Disorder server.

Just take a look at this post.

While the offender in this case isn’t Ginger specifically, it still takes place in her server, and she made no moves to enforce her “No discourse” rule. All over... what? A random kudos on a fanfiction that’s not even about anything controversial since all characters involved are adults? I immensely don’t understand the point of why this ever had to be an issue, or why nobody spoke up about how ridiculous this is.

I’d also like to point out a certain user called firecat17. For some quick context, waaay back in the Kung Fu Panda fandom (around 2018), this user had been harassing people and saying incredibly vile things, a person of which Ginger had a bit of a feud, but firecat’s anon threats had gotten to the point where Ginger ended up having to block their IP.

Obviously, the user firecat was the one in the wrong, here. (Also, the irony in this comment is through the roof...)

Interesting point there, Ginger. Sure would be nice if you practiced what you preached.

Why am I bringing this random old drama up, you may ask? Well, it just strikes me as strange that someone who was so vile to Ginger is suddenly on her okay-list again, sending her asks and getting casual responses as if nothing ever happened.

To be fair, there is the possibility that they worked out their differences in private. But given the severity of the kinds of words being exchanged, I would still find that rather suspicious.

When someone who’s said things so vile can be so easily forgiven, yet something as harmless as leaving a kudos on some random fanfiction is considered grounds for harassment, it’s obvious there’s no stability or room for trust among this group of people. Unsurprising when there’s been several instances of this “friend group” turning on each other.

If you think you’re somehow different, that your “friendship” with Ginger or the others is more valued than that, then I’m sorry to burst your bubble but it’s likely not true. She’d throw you under the bus at the hint of you doing something she deems problematic, as it’s happened to multiple blogs before you.

3. Demonization of and insensitivity towards s*xual abuse victims

(This topic is one that’s hard for me to talk about, being a victim of CSA myself, so I’ve gathered some different sources to do most of the main talking for me. I tried to form more commentary on this myself, but I get too emotionally charged in my responses, and I don’t want that to cloud any reader’s perception of what I’m trying to communicate here, so I’ll try to keep most of my comments brief on this one.)

One thing recently brought to my attention about Ginger and her squad that especially bothers me is their rashness in labeling people p*dophiles and p*do apologists. If these claims were true, then I wouldn’t have a problem with it.

But these people are accusing others of these horrible things and threatening them on the sole basis of fictional content.

Now before you fly off the handle at me, let me be very clear: I absolutely understand that there are gross people out there who use the “It’s all just fiction” argument to hide their actual, pr*datory behaviors. (We’ve all probably seen at least one or two neckbeard memes of that caliber)

But like it or not, exploring traumatic themes through a fictional lens is something that has been studied and proven to be a genuine coping mechanism for some. It’s not something that works for me, but I knew a few people from past therapy groups that it worked surprisingly well for. Bringing a trauma into a controlled environment and processing it through fictional means can and does help some victims deal with what they went through.

It’s important to understand that not everyone processes their experience in the same neat, little boxes you have laid out as the only “acceptable” ways of coping. Trauma fiction and expressive arts therapy are commonly used by victims, and it does help some people, whether you like it or not.

I’m already dragging this on too much, so here are some sources for better-worded information on the topic (Warning: Most of these deal with highly sensitive themes such as gun violence and s*xual abuse.)

Source 1 - Source 2 - Source 3 - Source 4 - Source 5 (pages 61 onward, specifically) - Source 6 - Source 7 - Source 8 - Source 9 - Source 10 (and believe me, if those all don’t satisfy you, I can easily supply more.)

And this quote from source 9 I think sums it up best:

“Fiction works differently. My imagination gives me a framework to process the grief and terror and the consequences, even when I myself have not found any resolution. It allows me to enter my own traumatic experiences sideways and linger inside them, if I know I can give them to characters who might be lucky enough to find the antidote: love, connection, community, family. In other words, I can enter — and exit — the trauma loop through stories that are not exactly the same as mine.

This goes for the reader also. Recent studies periodically assure us that stories — literary fiction, hardcover books, even the simple act of reading — promote empathy. We rarely have identical experiences, so fiction is how we practice linking our similar or parallel realities so we can feel them. This seems particularly useful in our current society, where we are all so separated, and are working so hard to block the violence that keeps happening to us from our minds.

Fiction connects us, and it can also contribute to our healing. When we see ourselves in worlds we don’t live in, like The Handmaid’s Tale or The Color Purple, sometimes, that very different violence helps us finally process our own. Because as much as our memoirs and testimonies are brave and validating, fiction does not just mirror our truths so they are safe to experience; it also helps us endure the aftermath. Because long after the immediate experience is over, survival struggles onward, in every moment of our daily lives.”

While most professionals have in the past advised that victims keep their trauma-related works more private, to only show it to your trusted friends or family, the fast-growing use of the internet has led more people to sharing it in an online platform, which is not unexpected behavior.

I unfortunately don’t have the screenshot of the original post, but there was a post made some time back literally telling a fandom member to go and hang themselves over this garbage. A survivor of s*xual abuse, no less. And to top that off, one of Ginger’s squad @emmy-puff commented in support of that violent post, as well as blatantly misgendering the target of it. While, again, I was unable to get screenshots, there are multiple witnesses to this instance, one Anonymous even having called them out on it back when it happened. (I suspect that Emmy deleted that answer due to how bad it made them look.) If anybody reading this has screenshots of the initial post or the ask that came of it, please feel free to share.

I don’t care who you are or who you’re talking about, if you use misgendering someone as a way to hurt them, then you are an insult to the trans community. That is an awful thing to do, and you lose so much credibility if that’s the only thing you can fall back on when getting in a fight with someone. While this post isn’t about Emmy specifically, this is exactly the kind of hateful rhetoric that’s being encouraged in the environment Ginger’s made.

Another thing I would like to point out on this matter is an instance that happened in the ToA fandom a couple years back. I, again, don’t have screenshots available (I believe the original post ended up deleted) but the post in question caused enough of a fuss that I’m sure a few people must remember it...

A while back, there was an artist that posted uncensored, untagged r*pe art of Aaarrrgghh, Gunmar, and Jim in the main Trollhunters tag. As you can imagine, this infuriated many people. Many of which are among the list of those who’ve been labeled “p*do apologists”. Almost the very minute that post showed up in the tag with no trigger warnings of any kind, the fandom immediately got on OP’s tail about it, because they all shared that basic understanding of “This is a traumatizing subject for many people and they should have the ability to avoid it”. If the people you’ve labelled as pr*dator supporters were really as awful as you say they are, they would’ve jumped to that person’s defense, too. But they were completely against OP’s horrible lack of consideration of survivors, right alongside the rest of the fandom.

Am I saying you have to like trauma fiction? Absolutely not. Are there people that make trauma fiction that are actual pr*dators? I’m sure there are. But those people would be that way whether trauma fiction was out there or not. Gross people have existed and will always exist regardless of what media is out there.

I deeply understand the controversy, uncertainty, and stress that surrounds this topic, I promise you, I do. But the fact of the matter is, some people actually do use trauma fiction and expressive arts therapy as a way of coping, as has been observed in people even from ages as young as 5. To say otherwise is blatantly untrue. This isn’t a matter of opinion or morals, this is plain, studied facts that you cannot change about human psychology.

Nobody should ever have to go through something as horrible as s*xual abuse of any kind, and I know how deeply upsetting it can be to see certain images or stories with those themes in play. Those users with a sense of decency and understanding for fellow victims will tag their posts with the appropriate warnings. After that, it’s up to you to filter out what you don’t want to see. You curate your own internet experience, and it’s just plain irrational to try and harass everyone into conforming to your rules. While it’s an 18+ blog’s job to make sure to tag and label their content appropriately, it is your job to block the things you don’t want to see, whether you’re an adult or a minor. It is YOUR job to blacklist content that you know will upset you, because it is always going to exist on the internet, and any internet user needs to know and understand that. Multiple times I’d seen people going off about posts that were already appropriately trigger-tagged. If you don’t have those upsetting tags blacklisted by now, then the fault is mostly on you in that kind of case, not the OP.

Before I end this topic off, just one more example of blatant disrespect towards victims:

I’m sorry, but the absolute nerve of comparing some random fictional character you’re petty over to an actual pr*dator who’s terribly hurt real children is just awful. Imagine how insulted one of Onion’s victims would be if they saw that. Lord.

Ginger claims to care about victims, but she’s made it abundantly clear that she only cares about those that behave the way she think a victim should.

4. Ableism

I’m going to just show a couple posts here and let them mostly speak for themselves.

Just... my God. You looked at the definition of psychopath and decided that was enough to give you qualification to speak like this about it? Do you realize the extensive work and study of human psychology goes into the diagnosis and understandings of psychopathy? Not to mention, you just admit to thinking people deserve hate because of a mental disorder they legitimately have no control over? I’m sorry, but that is just cruel. Demonization of the mentally ill is not cute or funny. Next.

While I’m still annoyed with Emmy’s transphobic treatment of another user mentioned earlier, they make a very solid point in this instance. (The first post they referenced has since been deleted, but here’s the second one speaking out against the ableism.) I feel I don’t need to add much to this, as these points have already been argued very well by users better qualified to speak on the subject than I.

5. Manipulation tactics

This part is more observations of two kinds of abuse tactics Ginger appears to demonstrate, using the above as points of reference.

First, there’s DARVO.

Then, less formally, there’s this good point about online cult mentality.

Before you say anything, obviously I don’t think Ginger thinks of herself as some sort of deity. While it could be argued that she considers herself a point of authority within the TOA fandom maybe, I haven’t seen enough of this to say for sure how far that goes. So that point can be ignored, because it mostly doesn’t apply in this case. (The “Dictating parts of your online life” might also not apply, but I can’t say for sure as I haven’t gotten any confirmation of that sort of thing in Ginger’s group.)

But there are grains of truth in the other four points, especially that last one. Plain and simple, she’s made people afraid to speak their minds about even harmless things such as character analysis.

Ginger is someone who can’t seem to comprehend different viewpoints and life experiences. She’s extremely unsympathetic towards people she doesn’t understand, as can be observed in above examples. Assuming malicious intent from everybody you can’t understand is a dangerous and hurtful mindset to have, for both you and those who you unnecessarily scorn.

There are a few outcomes I’ve speculated should she ever come to see this post.

1. She will ignore this post completely, pretending as if it doesn’t exist

2. She will dismiss me as being some sort of horrible person, a p*do apologist or something of the sort (despite being a victim of that myself, clearly she doesn’t care about who’s actually been hurt by real p*dos or not if they don’t conform to her narrow worldview), and claim nothing I’ve said bears any meaning, despite the extensive evidence I’ve provided.

3. She will get people to try and attack me.

4. She will actually address these points in a tactful, mature, and serious manner instead of her usual act of trying to dismiss everything at the slightest hint of non-conformity. (The least likely outcome, but one can dream.)

I could add to this post all day, but it’s long enough as it is and my focus was on getting the main points out of the way. I understand that I lack some of the receipts necessary to back myself up in a few parts, but I know that many other fans have bared witness to those things, so I know there will be at least some people who’ll know what I speak of is true, and that’s good enough for me.

That being said, if anybody has screenshots of the instances I wasn’t able to provide for, it would be greatly appreciated if you could add them into the conversation.

!!!-If you have screenshots, but are too uncomfortable to get involved in this, then you can private-message them to me and I would be grateful and more than happy to add them in while keeping you completely anonymous.-!!!

(I've removed the section with all the tags, as I recognize it was probably going overboard. My goal was just to spread information, not to try and involve those tagged, but I understand how that may have gotten lost in translation and made people uncomfortable. Also, it apparently was showing up multiple times in people’s notifications when I only tagged people twice, so I’m not sure why that glitch happened, but I apologize for that annoyance as well.)

Now, to end us off, my responses to questions or angry comments I’m probably going to get:

You don’t even have all the evidence! How are we to know you’re not just lying about some of this?

Admittedly, I don’t have as much screenshot proof as I would like, that’s true. But for most of the instances I couldn’t provide for, there were other witnesses to her bad behavior. I don’t really have the need to lie when there’s already a lot of knowledge out there of the bad stuff she has done. Nor do I really have the emotional investment in this fandom anymore to lie for the pointless reason of causing drama.

Why post this on a throwaway account if you think people are on your side?

I just don’t really want my main blog associated with TOA anymore, to be frank.

You tagged a bunch of people, so you must be trying to get them to attack Ginger!

No. I tagged a bunch of people because I think this information should be heard on a wider scale, considering the position Ginger has in the fandom. I don’t want her or anybody else to be attacked, but her negative impact on this fandom deserves to be acknowledged.

Again, I don’t think Ginger or any of the others deserve harassment or cyberbullying or anything of that manner, that’s kind of what this whole post is against. And it just hurts the situation more than it helps it. What bothers me is how she’s never apologized for or even once acknowledged the gross way she’s treated people. While she might be more low-key about it now, she still treats people who don’t deserve it like garbage. There are still several people upset about the damage she’s caused to this fandom, rightfully so. I wouldn’t be so loud about making this post if I didn’t think it was something worth drawing attention to.

Thank you for reading.

#TrollHunters #3Below #TOAwizards #Tales of Arcadia #TOA

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highkeyweeb · 4 years ago

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To start this off on the most positive note I can, I would like to say that I love MHA. It’s a show I was skeptical to watch at first, but hooked me in faster than any anime had in a long time. I became very easily captivated by its characters and its story and can’t wait to see where Horikoshi takes it and the plan he has for it moving forward.

Now on the more upsetting side of things… The MHA/BNHA fandom has, and pardon my French (Aoyama would be disappointed), gone to shit. I first learned about everything that was going on when a friend sent me a Tiktok. They always send me MHA Tiktoks because they know I love them and they always make me smile seeing skits, or cosplay or whatever else people do because they’re showing their love for the fandom. So it undoubtedly shattered my heart when I saw how horrific things are in the fandom right now. Needless to say that’s not what I was expecting when I opened my messages.

I quickly tried to get as informed on the situation as I could (because honestly you should never take any information you get from Tiktok at face value, ALWAYS try to educate yourself more). It led me to a new article, some Twitter posts, and a certain Instagram post.

I’ll say this right now: as a KiriBaku shipper, it would break my heart if KiriBaku, or any other ship for that matter, became canon simply because the author was pressured into pleasing a toxic fanbase.

To be a fan of something isn’t to want it to follow YOUR vision. It isn’t even about being happy about everything that happens in the story. It’s about being involved, and being able to voice your opinions in a healthy, open-minded, and nonjudgemental way. Some people like Bakugo, others do not. Some people aren’t even a fan of the protagonist of the story, AND THAT’S OKAY. You don’t have to love every part of something to be a part of a fandom.

But just because you DON’T love a part of something, or what YOU want hasn’t happened, doesn’t mean that you should ruin the experience for everyone.

Shipping isn’t about ships becoming canon. As a shipper from multiple fandoms, I’ll be the first and hopefully not the last to tell you that. There are wholesome ways to feed your passion for a ship, and there are definitely wrong ways to go about doing that as well. I’ll tell you some healthy ways that I have used for years, and am still guilty of using to this day: fan art, fan fiction, and Tumblr.

Fan art is an obvious one. Not only do you get to see all the cute, romantic, wholesome/unwholesome moments between your ship, but you also get to support amazing creators who are exceptionally talented.

Fan fiction on the other hand, has such a negative connotation to it. On the surface level, 80% of fan fiction is badly written, meaningless sexualization of the characters, and has no structure. But I challenge shippers to look a little deeper, if you love a ship to the point where you want it to become canon, immerse yourself in a universe where that dream can come true! But DON’T push your visions onto other people.

It’s the same with religions, political views, and anything really. We’ve all spent time to develop our unique beliefs, and would hate for others to be violently forcing theirs onto us.

Now on to Tumblr. Yes, I know everyone has their reasons for hating or leaving Tumblr, but it’s a GREAT hub for people to get involved in fandoms in a healthy way. If you know a shipper of any kind, I challenge you again to tell them to try out Tumblr. If not for being a fan of the platform, but to be able to share your love for something in healthy and non-toxic way.

Now that is NOT to say take the toxic comments to another platform. If you or someone you know has commented, tweeted, or posted towards Horikoshi to make your ship canon (in any way shape or form) you are in the wrong. That isn’t the right way to show your adoration for something, no matter how peacefully or harmlessly you think you asked.

Now to get back to the issue at hand, this a very simple case of a few people ruining it for everyone. I wouldn’t be surprised if at this point Horikoshi just abandoned BNHA. It must be on his mind. And no matter how many people are telling you they love you and what you do, somehow your mind always manages to fixate itself on the negative, hateful, and hurtful comments. If you were ever a teenager, you might be able to understand that.

To everyone saying that shippers are ruining the fandom, I understand your anger. And on some level I empathize with it. But do try to understand that it isn’t shippers as a whole that are the source of all this negativity, it’s the select few of them that believe they are so entitled they can get whatever they want. If anyone out there is feeling like they have a right to have a say in things like which ships become canon or what path the story takes, remember: this isn’t your story. This is Horikoshi’s story, his universe, and his tale. He has the right, no… the PRIVILEGE to make it whatever he wants it to be. And I wholeheartedly believe that he will make it nothing short of spectacular.

Holy heck, I know this was way too long and no one read this through to it’s entirety but this was more of just a personal rant to get things that have been on my mind, OFF my mind. I can only hope that someone read what I said and realized something they did wrong, and a way they can change their actions in the future to make not only this fandom, but the world as a whole, a better place.

Have a great day everyone. ❤️

P.S. - To everyone saying they’re not gay, or it’s not a romance anime, etc. I want to remind you that not ALL ships are romantic ones. Now in this case I feel like the conversation is strictly talking about romantic ships, but just a reminder in case someone forgot or wasn’t aware. On top of that, there are PLENTY of non-romantic anime that have canonical pairs.

P.S.S. - Just as I was about to post this I thought of another thing: calling shippers mental, disgusting, or f-ed up is EXTREMELY generalizing, and gives an entire community of people a bad name when it’s just a select few. Also downright hating on certain ships because you don’t understand them or they seem outrageous to you is never acceptable, whether you’re a shipper or not. Now of course that’s not to say that you have to like everything but... if you don’t have anything nice to say then just don’t say anything at all.

This post is as much a message to the entitled shippers of the fandom, as it is to the toxic members of the fandom who turned to using hurtful words to put down those shippers in order to tell them they’re wrong. Two wrongs, NEVER make a right.

Feel free to reblog and add any constructive comments on things you think I may have missed. In a community where there is so much hate being thrown around right now, and people are being looked down upon for something that should be so harmless and simple, I would really appreciate it if there were no hurtful words associated with this post. Let’s go beyond Plus Ultra to make this fandom a better place. 💛

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