#if anyone remembers when I mentioned loving like a dragon . yeah .

[snufflepup]

You can be the princess, and I can be the dragon that keeps you safe and locked away in my castle !

[silent-stories]

𝐋𝐎𝐕𝐄 𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐅𝐑𝐎𝐌 𝐀𝐅𝐀𝐑 - 𝟏

Pairing: Eddie x F!Reader

Summary: Dustin convinces Eddie, who is always watching you from a distance, to talk to you.

Eddie hated the way his gaze was always looking for you in the school parking lot, hoping you'd arrived a few minutes early so he could watch you from afar.

He couldn't stop it, he could try to hold back but it was useless, he always found himself looking around hoping to hear your laugh at something stupid that Buckley, who you usually drove to school in your car, had said.

Eddie wasn't the shy type: he walked the cafeteria tables making speeches and always said what he thought. But with you?

All he could do was watch you from afar.

"Dude, you're doing it again." Dustin's voice distracted Eddie from his usual search.

"Doing what?" he asked, sounding a lot more guilty than he intended.

He had been caught.

"You are looking for Y/N." The boy rolled his eyes and crossed his arms over his chest.

"Why would I?" Eddie shrugged as if to dismiss the conversation before leaning back against his van.

"Because you like her."

"What? No, absolutely not. We're…I don't even know if she considers me a friend. We're acquaintances. We just know each other. We only have one class together and we've only talked a few times so-"

Three times.

It had been exactly three times you had spoken to Eddie, he remembered them all very well, as well as the way his heart started beating so much faster than usual.

The first time you bumped into him in the hallway. Eddie had initially thought it was someone who did it on purpose, as it usually happened with jogs, but when he heard your immediate apology and from the way you said it was your fault, he understood that you would never do it on purpose.

He quickly realized that you weren't like most of the others at school and that you didn't see him as someone to stay away from and that had only made Eddie fall for you even more.

The second time was during history class, the only one Eddie had with you, that day you arrived five minutes late, having to sit in the only seat left free: the one next to Eddie.

After a few minutes that he had spent sketching in his only notebook trying not to go crazy because of your proximity, you spoke, or rather, whispered.

"I like dragons."

Eddie raised his head as a shy smile appeared on his lips to find your gaze on the dragon he had drawn in his notebook.

He mumbled a "yeah, I like them too" before the teacher turned to you and glared at him.

He didn't say anything for the rest of the lesson but since that day he had always hoped you'd be a few minutes late so you would sit next to him.

It had never happened.

The third time was the only time you really had a conversation with him. You picked up Dustin after a D&D campaign and you spent ten minutes talking to Eddie before you left.

To Eddie's amazement, you two started talking about Metallica. You mentioned that your dad occasionally listened to them and you started the conversation by talking about which songs you knew and which ones you liked more.

Before you left, you talked about how boring math was and how much you enjoyed art class and during all the time you had spent talking a faint smile was permanent on Eddie's lips.

That was all. Only ten minutes.

It had been the shortest ten minutes of his life and Eddie wished you'd stay there and talk to him for hours.

Dustin laughed at the way his friend seemed to lose the ability to form meaningful sentences whenever you were involved.

"Holy shit, you're in love with her."

It wasn't a question. It was a statement.

Eddie sighed, he couldn't deny it anymore. "Henderson, if you tell anyone, consider yourself expelled from the Hellfire Club for the rest of your life."

Dustin adjusted the cap on his head. "Your secret is safe with me. Anyway, Y/N is cool. You should tell her."

Eddie let out a bitter laugh. "For what? To hear her say she wouldn't be with Eddie "the freak" Munson even if I were the last person on the face of the earth? No thanks, I'd rather keep watching her from afar."

"You know she's not like that." Dustin said. "She doesn't judge. Trust me, she was my babysitter for almost three years when I was in middle school, I know her well enough to know that she's a good person, she would never laugh at you and she's a completely badass."

And Eddie knew it. He knew you were kind and funny and so fucking pretty. And that was why the chances he had with you were almost inexistent.

Just as he was about to answer, he saw you.

You walked in his direction, wearing a leather jacket that was a few sizes larger but still looked perfectly on and Eddie nearly felt his heart leap out of his chest.

"Uuh... do you want me to leave you two alone?" Dustin asked with a smirk.

"Don't even try." He retorted, nudging the boy before you reached them.

"Hi" You smiled. "Have you seen Mike by any chance?"

Eddie shook his head. Why were you looking for Wheeler?

"He got into class early, he had to get something." Dustin said.

You rummaged in your bag and pulled out a book. "Nancy was at my house yesterday and she forgot this, could you give it to Mike so he can give it back to her?"

Dustin grabbed the book. "Sure."

"Great. Thank you." You said before a voice called you from behind.

"Y/N, we'll be late for art class!"

Art, right. It was your favorite subject, Eddie remembered that.

But it wasn't Robin who had spoken.

He was a tall boy, with dark blond hair long enough to show his soft curls. His eyes were green and glittered in the morning sun and he was wearing a clean, light blue jacket. His boy-next-door face annoyed Eddie, or maybe it was just the way he was interrupting a moment when he would have a chance to talk to you.

"See you guys." You said before walking towards him.

He put his arm around your shoulders as you walked side by side.

He was your boyfriend.

You had a boyfriend.

Suddenly Eddie was finding it hard to breathe. Of course you had a boyfriend, he'd been a stupid not to think of it before: a girl like you had to have a boyfriend.

And that guy seemed to be the complete opposite of Eddie.

He was also probably rich and had great grades in school. Because those were the kind of guys you liked, right? Certainly not the ones like Eddie. Those who were lucky if they didn't find the words "freak" or "devil" engraved on their locker. Those who had to park further away from school hoping that no one punctured their wheels. The ones who lived in a trailer and had to sell drugs to make ends meet.

"No." Dustin said.

"No what?" He raised his eyebrows, trying to hide his hurt expression.

"He's not her boyfriend, if that's what you're thinking."

"I wasn't thinking about anything at all."

Thank God.

"His name is Aaron Turner. He just moved to Hawkings and he's not Y/N's boyfriend. But he could soon be if you don't talk to her."

"What fool moves to Hawkings?" Eddie asked as his gaze followed your figure walking to school.

You were laughing.

You seemed happy with him.

"What fool doesn't ask the girl he likes out?" Dustin retorted.

Eddie glared at him.

"You said it yourself. 86, your year. Then make it your fucking year and ask her out. Or at least start talking to her and stop looking at her from afar. And try to say things that make sense when she's around."

"I say things that make sense."

Dustin raised his eyebrows.

"Okay, okay."

Since when did he take advice from a fourteen-year-old boy?

But he was going to talk to you.

He had to do it without looking like a complete idiot but he felt he could do it.

Eddie could feel it: 1986 was going to be his year.

Part 2

Tags: @jacklesdeanvessel @morning-sky7 @pipsqueakkitten @navs-bhat

[hotdaemondtargaryen]

EWAN MITCHELL INTERVIEWED BY DECIDER MAGAZINE.

SO KNOWING HOW HE'S SO STUDIOUS AND THOUGHTFUL, WHAT DO YOU THINK THE CHANCES ARE, IF HE STILL HAS THE DANGER, HE CAN FIGURE OUT THERE'S A HIDDEN MESSAGE THERE?

"Yeah, I think I could imagine that."

"I could imagine Aemond reading a book by the fire and he just puts it over the fireplace and then he’s privy to the information of Aegon’s dream."

"But I can’t confirm nor deny it."

ALICENT MENTIONS TO RHAENYRA IN THE FINALE THAT AEMOND PLANS TO FLY TO HARRENHAL. DAEMON HAS HAD QUITE THE SEASON THERE, BEING AFFECTED BY THE MAGIC THERE. DO YOU HAVE A SENSE OF HOW THAT MAGIC COULD AFFECT AEMOND?

"I think that’s a good question."

"I think if he was to go to Harrenhal, I think, I don’t know."

"It’s similar to what we were saying with Helaena."

"Like, if there was some sort of way that he would be able to harness that power and to use it to his advantage, he could be quite dangerous."

SO, ARE YOU EXCITED TO SORT OF DELVE INTO WHAT COULD POTENTIALLY MOTIVATE AEMONE TO OPEN UP TO SOMEONE? WHAT DO YOU THINK WOULD MAKE HIM SO VULNERABLE?

"I think just finding all of that multifaceted nuance in Aemond, and really exploring that shadow side even more…"

"You know, just constantly keeping the audience on their toes and presenting an angle of Aemond that we hadn’t really seen before."

"He always kind of looked for surrogates for his mother."

"He found it in Vhagar, so to speak."

"An old she-dragon parallel."

"And he found it in the madame."

"But is that enough? So he’s always looking for his match, so to speak."

"Whether or not he finds it is another thing."

"Maybe there’s no one good enough for Aemond."

"Maybe he’s not good enough for anyone either."

HE'S SO RUTHLESS IN TERMS OF THE WAY HE WANTS TO APPROACH THE BATTLES AHEAD. IS HIS MINDSET FOR HIS OWN GLORY AND POWER, OR IS HE ACTUALLY JUST TRYING TO SAVE HIS FAMILY AS QUICKLY AS POSSIBLE AND SECURE TEAM GREEN'S CLAIM?

"I think it’s interesting."

I think when he approaches Alicent and Helaena in Episode 8, he kind of says, 'Like, look, it’s either them or us and I’m choosing. It’s gonna be them.'

"We can’t go down without a fight."

"Because if the Blacks were to come into power, it would be the Greens heads who would be on the chopping block."

"And Aemond especially."

"So it is a fight for self preservation."

"But whether or not he has his family’s interests at heart or whether or not he’s just thinking for himself?"

"I want to leave that out there."

"I want to let people make their own judgment on that."

"I think he definitely loves his mum and he wants his mum at the end."

ONE OF MY FAVORITE SCENES IS THE ONE WHERE YOU BASICALLY DRESS DOWN AEGON IN HIGH VALYRIAN. WHAT WAS IT LIKE PREPARING FOR THAT? WAS IT AS DELICIOUS TO DO AS IT LOOKED OR WAS IT JUST ANOTHER EXTRA CHALLENGE THAT YOU JUST DID NOT WANT TO FACE IN TERMS OF MASTERING A FOREIGN LENGUAJE?

"I mean I remember doing it a few different ways, but I always kind of settled on the idea that Aemond, throughout those first four episodes, he’s just so composed."

"We see other players around the council table and they raise their voices, and Aemond is the kid who’s just acting from the peripheries."

"He’s waiting for his moment."

"He never raises his voice too much."

So in that moment, when he very much seizes a chance to attack Rook’s Rest and work with Criston Cole, he very much says, 'I’m taking over now.'

"It is a public humiliation, but he does it in such a way that Aegon is able to save face because only him and Aegon can understand it (and maybe Grand Maester Orwyle can, as well)."

"It’s something quite merciful in a way.

BEFORE THE SEASON STARTED, I TALKED TO YOU ABOUT HOW YOU STAYED AWAY FROM MATT SMITH ON SET IN SEASON 1 SO THAT WHEN THEY STARE EACH OTHER DOWN DURING DINNER, IT WOULD BE MORE IMPACTFUL. SO I'M CURIOUS, HAVE YOU MET GAYLE RANKIN YET?

"I – I have not."

OH, OKAY. IS THAT INTENTIONAL OR?

"I mean, I’ve obviously seen Gayle Rankin’s phenomenal performance in the show, but also like the Harrenhal set itself is in a different studio to the studio of the Red Keep."

"So I never really brushed shoulders with Gayle Rankin or Matt Smith this season, other than that moment when Daemon sees the vision of Aemond in Harrenal."

"I think — I think I briefly [met Gayle] at the read through."

"Briefly."

OK, COOL. I WAS JUST CURIOUS, BUT THANK YOU SO MUCH. I REALLY APPRECIATE IT AND I'M REALLY EXCITED TO SEE ALYS AND AEMOND MEET BECAUSE THAT IS A RELATIONSHIP I HAVE SO MUCH CURIOSITY ABOUT.

"No comment."

[ai-megurine]

HOTD S2 trailer – Reaction

"They are a protector of the realm" oh shut up you're married to Daemon War Crimes Targaryen

"I find myself in an impossible situation:((((" you put yourself in it bestie

Did they really put Dany's 3 eggs before a shot of Rhaenyra? These eggs were from Dreamfyre, HELAENA'S dragon.

Aegon looks so good!!!! And his friend is best hype man

Green council!!

"proceed with caution" THEY KILLED JAEHAERYS WOMAN. Do they want me to hate Alicent or something?

"Fuck dignity, I want revenge!" MY KING.

"I didn't think they'd be so eager to die" yeah about that.

I genuinely cannot even begin to care about Corlys to save my life

Daemyra breakup, YES.

SUNFYYYYYYYYYYYYRE THE GOLDEEEEEEEEN

MY BESTEST BOI

Aemond is right to call Alicent out, she's being unbearable and lord knows I love book!Alicent

Aegon looks haunted by B&C, I'm breaking, I can't.

Cargyll bowl!

So huh, anyone going to mention how Criston's horse outran a dragon? Real MVP of the war right here!!!!

I think Aemond is with the brothel madame. Other theory is Alys, maybe in a dream of something

Why the random Valyrian sex worker? Is it where Daemon goes when he's tired of the niece he groomed?

So Meleys looks nice

Helaena in the riot????? LEAVE HER ALONE. STAY AWAY FROM HER.

AKZLDOAKWNSLAPSKAKDIZ

I'm glad to know she'll still have a role in the show post B&C, though

Which dragon is it behind Rhaenyra? If I remember correctly, that's not what Vermithor look like. The Cannibal maybe? It doesn't make sense, but it's a cool shot.

Conclusion: WHERE IS DREAMFYRE. WHERE. IS. SHE.

[lokisprettygirl]

Rain to his Fire (Modern! Daemon Targaryen x Female Reader) (Non Canon 80s Au) (18+)

Read Chapter 5 here// Series Masterlist

Chapter 6

Summary: Your anger gets Daemon in a bit of a trouble. Something really awful is going on at the king's landing wellness center.

Warning: 18+, smutty scenarios, crude language, boring chapter, description of Statutory rape, discussion of mental health (it's a fic based in a mental health facility), mention of physical assault, the fic would contain several mentions of several disorders like mpd, did etc, if something triggers you don't read, smoking.

You found yourself idly picking at your cuticles as you waited for Dr. Vis to enter his office. You had been called in for a discussion and your gut told you that it was about Daemon. Despite working at the center for two years now, you couldn't even remember the last time the two of you had shared a full sentence but since Daemon had arrived you were on his radar for some reason.

As you heard him entering the office, you stood up to greet him. However, Dr. Vis gestured for you to sit back down,

"You are Y/m/n's daughter, correct?" Dr. Vis asked you as you sat down. You nodded, feeling a rush of emotions at the mention of your mother “She was a lovely lady, always so polite and warm” he commented but you couldn't really tell whether he was genuine with his compliment or not. You didn't think of him as a person who'd remember a custodian of all people.

“Yeah” you smiled as you didn't really know what else to say.

"There's something I'd like to discuss with you about Daemon" Dr. Vis said, and your heartbeat quickened at the mention of his name.

“Daemon-?” You questioned, much to your surprise your voice came out really firm.

“He's been under my care for years now, but I have never seen him so violent as he was with those guards” you gulped as he said that “I visited them and they confessed to me why Daemon attacked them” he continued,

“Why?” You asked him, pretending as if you didn't know the reason already.

“Because of you” he paused for a moment before continuing “those men perhaps said something nasty about you, which i assure that there will be repercussions for such a behavior but that is the reason Daemon attacked them, now if there's one thing i am certain of is that Daemon doesn't do anything that would not serve him in return” he continued

“I'm sorry i don't understand what you mean” you responded as you tried to keep your voice neutral.

“I'll be plain with you y/n, are you offering him services beyond your duty as a custodian?” Your eyes widened in shock as he questioned you plainly. The implication of the question left you feeling embarrassed and angry at the same time.

“Absolutely not, I take my work seriously and always treat patients as such” you mumbled confidently, the confidence came from the anger you felt at his insinuation, even though he wasn't completely wrong.

There have been touching and inappropriate conversations between you and Daemon but it was all over last night, you didn't want to get involved with him again especially if he was entertaining the likes of Shyla as well.

“Daemon is a borderline psychopath y/n, you must know what that means right? He's charming and highly manipulative but everything he does is for his own gain” Dr. Vis said with utmost conviction. Daemon might have been an arse but a part of you knew he was far from being a psychopath with no empathy for others.

“Why does he call himself a dragon?” You asked him so Vis let out a laugh but it wasn't the sort of laughter that could bring anyone any comfort or understanding, on the contrary it chilled you to the bone.

“Because he's sick, why did you ask?” he mumbled, his tone was dismissive.

“It's just I found feathers in his room and when I questioned him he told me that they belonged to him”

The smile on Viserys's face disappeared as you mentioned that, a part of you knew you shouldn't have said anything to him, what if he hurts Daemon more? You felt the sinking feeling in your gut for letting the words slip out of you in nervousness.

“Feathers you said?” He looked at you confused so you nodded “He must have hidden those in his belongings when he came here," Vis repeated, watching you closely. “Guards must not have checked his bag properly. It's just a part of the act, y/n.”

You gave him a nod as he said that.

“Is there anything else you want from me?” he smiled and looked at you intensely as you said that

“Keep me informed if you find other suspicious things in there”

“Sure” you stepped out of his office, rolling your eyes throughout the way. What did he think of himself? And Why did you tell him about the feathers? The guilt was only going to get worse as the day goes on.

As you made your way to room 393, you found the guards doing the thorough search of his belongings. Great job y/n.

Daemon was already tied up to a chair and handcuffed in the corner of the room.

“Ummm can I proceed?” You asked John so he nodded.

“We are almost done, do you want us to leave him like that? For the sake of your safety?” John asked you so you looked at Daemon, there was a definite smirk on his face that most instantly vanished at your response.

“I'd like that, thank you” you glared at Daemon and you could tell he was confused by the sudden change in your demeanor.

As the guards left you quickly went on to do your work, ignoring Daemon altogether. You were acting like a scorned ex-girlfriend and it took you a minute to realize that.

You heard him sniffing as he looked at you up and down before he spoke to you.

“You're upset..why?” He asked you but you ignored him again and that was enough to rile him up.

“Heyy talk to me alright?” He raised his voice a little bit so you glared at him

“i don't want to talk to you, I don't want to look at you and i don't want anything to do with you” Your words were harsh and your tone was cold, making it clear that you wanted nothing to do with him and that was your plan but then his eyes flickered and you could see that he was hurt by your response.

“Why? I apologized yesterday, you forgave me-” you cut him off mid sentence before he could go on,

“And then you decided to fuck Shyla”

As your words sunk in he snickered at first, went quite for a moment, and then cracked his neck in disbelief.

“Bravo..I was wondering why I was being raided first thing in the morning. What did you say to Vis , hmm?” he asked, voice full of hurt and confusion. You knew he felt betrayed about you going behind his back.

“It was a slip of the tongue. I didn't mean it” you defended yourself and though it was true that you didn't share the information just to hurt him, you knew he'd feel hurt anyways.

“Oh why don't you accept it that you did it on purpose?” he asked you, his tone remained loud and snarky.

“Perhaps I did, now we are even” you retorted so he chuckled again.

“Oh are we? You can't hurt me because you're hurting, isn't that what you said yesterday”

“Don't turn this around on me alright? You don't get to be upset with me” your eyes welled up as you felt the surge of emotions coursing through you.

“I share those things with youuu, I choose to do so, because I believe in you or I did at least”

You didn't answer him as he said that. What were you supposed to say? You shouldn't have told Dr Vis about the feathers, you regretted doing it as soon as you had opened your mouth but you felt on the spot in that moment, what you had seen last night coupled with the nervousness you felt under Dr Vis’s suspicion made you feel so angry and you took it out on him. These days you were doing things you never thought you'd do. He really was driving you insane.

“You know what your problem is?” He asked as he suddenly rose up from the chair, breaking the rope and the handcuffs in one quick motion as if it didn't take a single ounce of strength.

He stepped closer, until you felt like he was practically looming over you so you crossed your arms defensively,

“Tell me, what do you think my problem is?” you challenged him

“Your problem is that you don't listen or ask for explanations, you just assume things.. you're so fucking judgemental..you saw her visiting me and just assumed that we were fucking in here” He spoke angrily, his jaw clenching, teeth gritting, face contorted with rage.

“I don't care if you're fucking her”

Now that was purely a lie which even you couldn't deny.

“Huh then why are you acting as if I have broken your heart?” he asked, voice dripping with sarcasm.

“I am-” you didn't even know how to justify your behavior. What was it to you if he was sleeping with other women? He wasn't your boyfriend.

“I don't want to be a part of this ..i can't..I can't.. feel this way that I am feeling, I don't like it ..it's hurting me and I don't like it” you trailed off, barely able to form a sentence that would actually make sense to him.

“I didn't ask you to come to me, to tend to me, to steal for me, i didn't ask for those things” his eyes welled up as he spoke, he felt as if he was losing you forever and it didn't feel right at all but if he was hurting you so badly then he didn't want to add to your misery either. If he was becoming too much to deal with he would not force you to be his friend or more.

“Right”

You looked at the shredded ropes and the broken handcuffs as you reached for them to clean it up. How did he have such marvelous strength? A part of you really wanted to believe that he was something extraordinary, but then he was also not well, he was a patient.

“We didn't fuck..i didn't touch her like that” he mumbled suddenly and your heart skipped a beat, you couldn't tell whether he was lying or not but then he really didn't have any reason to lie to you.

“Why else would she come to see a man who had supposedly harmed her?” You asked him as you grabbed your cart so he chuckled.

“She wanted to confirm a rumor she had heard at the hospital and she told me why she had lied that day”

“Why did she lie?”

“Why do you care? You didn't want to be a part of this right?” he mumbled sarcastically so you bit on your cheek and nodded.

“Right”

With a heavy heart, you silently turned around and left his room. You had made such a big fuss, and for what? You couldn't help but feel a pang of guilt for how you had behaved. Not only had you made the entire situation worse by telling Dr. Vis about the feathers, but you had also acted like a terrible friend and betrayed Daemon's trust in the process.

During Lunch hour he caught you staring at him, he knew you wanted to talk to him, it's not as if you had many friends here, he was starting to think that he was the only person you had genuinely befriended in a long time, your aversion to men wasn't just limited to sex but the whole idea of intimacy in general.

Later that night when you went to bed you felt extremely upset about the whole situation and you really missed him, perhaps you shouldn't have jumped to conclusions so easily, eyes can be deceiving and a part of you trusted him when he said that he didn't sleep with her..

As you heard the knock on the door, you quickly leaped out of your bed and ran towards the door but composed yourself before opening the door.

“You know if you apologize I will forgive you” he mumbled as he walked past you and pulled down his hood. You knew you owed him a genuine apology for how you had acted this morning.

"Daemon, what are you doing?" you asked, shocked as you watched him frantically open every drawer in your room, rummaging through your possessions. You didn't see what he had taken, but you knew he had taken something and tucked it away in his pocket.

“Apologize darling” he mumbled as he turned around to look at you so you crossed your arms.

“Im sorry, I didn't mean to rat you out..that's not the kind of person I am .. usually” you looked down as you spoke, your heart felt heavy and he could sense your discomfort so he walked towards you.

“Why did you go into his office?” he asked, his tone now gentle.

“He called me in, Darryl and Jacob had told him that you attacked them because they had made a joke about me” Daemon was silent for a moment as he processed your words.

“You know about that?”

“I heard last night, that's why I wanted to see you, and then I saw Shyla and assumed -”

“That I was fucking her.. and that made you upset” he was smiling as he finished his sentence so you rolled your eyes.

“Yeah whatever, he asked me if I was offering you uhhh bed services or something for you to get so upset about a stupid joke-”

“Joke? They were insulting you..these people that you work with and trust so blindly”

“I don't trust them..I don't trust men ..i know how ugly they can be..but you can't attack people-” you responded as you felt a sense of frustration.

“I can and I will again if I hear anyone talking filth about you”

His words were bold and confident, and they didn't fail to have an impact on your already budding feelings. As he spoke, you found yourself staring at him, unable to look away. Despite everything that had happened this morning, there was still a connection between the two of you that you couldn't ignore.

“And why is that?” you asked him so he grabbed you by the shoulders as he pulled you even closer.

“Because you're my friend sweetheart..I care about you, is that enough?”

“You can't attack people Daemon” as he attempted to pull away from you you reached for the collar of his hoodie and for a moment he was taken aback,

“I appreciate that you did..that you care enough about me but I don't want you to get hurt again, okay?” he couldn't help but smile as you said that. You worried about him, that much he knew.

“Alright, next time I'd hurt them less enough that they're not hospitalized” he said as a matter of fact so you let go of him, not knowing whether to reprimand him for being so stubborn or kiss his stupid face for being so protective of you.

“What did you steal from my drawer?” you asked to cut the tension so he stepped away from you.

“I'll show you woman..calm your gorgeous tits” he mumbled with a grin evident on his face, his words making you feel flushed instantly.

“Other men can't make a joke but you can talk to me this way?” you mumbled to hide your giddiness.

“I only do it because you allow me to, the day you'd ask me to keep my mouth shut for real, I'd never go against your words”

He always knew how to warm his way into your heart again, didn't he?

“If it's a scissor or a knife you better give it to me right now” you mumbled to steer the conversation again so he smiled and pulled out the scissors from his pocket, his hand wrapped around the handle, a part of you feared for his safety, he definitely was unpredictable and unstable at times.

“Daemon give me that please?” You mumbled softly as you stepped closer to him so he chuckled lightly.

“Ohh you beg so sweetly darling..but don't bother I'm not going to hurt myself i promise or you for that matter” he assured you and it did make you feel better but you still wanted to snatch that scissor away from him.

“Then why do you have it?” you questioned him softly so he smiled again.

“Trying to prove a point”

You couldn't even understand what he was trying to do so the shock and fear you felt was unimaginable when he started to chop away those beautiful locks of hair on his head.

“Daemon– “

“Calm down darling I can hear your heartbeat it's so loud…it's just hair …they grow back”

“Why are you doing this Daemon?” your eyes teared up as you questioned, a part of you felt awful seeing him chop those silver locks so carelessly.

“Just told you, I'm trying to prove a point”

“What point?”

“You wanted me to show you, that night you asked me to open your eyes so that's what I'm going to do”

“Cutting your hair is going to accomplish what?”

“You'll see”

Once he was done cutting his hair in a haphazard manner he walked towards you and grabbed your hand as he went down on his knees.

“Touch them” he spoke firmly but his tone was demanding and soothing at the same time.

“Why?”

“So you'd know they're real, that I'm not fooling you with a wig”

You hesitated for a moment but eventually wrapped your fingers around his scalp. He closed his eyes as you ran your fingers through his locks, and you heard him purr softly when you pulled on the roots lightly to confirm that they were indeed real.

“What now?”

You asked him softly so he chuckled, as his eyes raked over your inflamed cuticles he brought each finger to his lips and kissed on them one by one as if his kisses would soothe the burning sensation.

“Now you wait” you sighed deeply as he said that.

“Why don't you just come and see me when you're turned into a dragon?” you asked him softly so he sighed.

“It doesn't work that way, sometimes I can only grow my wings, the other times my hair is the only thing to transform, at times I'm able to build fire with my fingers but I lack the control, it comes and goes instantly, the reason why I have been so confused all my life is because everyone around me made me believe that I was losing my mind and at times i thought so too but not anymore” he mumbled, his voice laced with frustration but you could tell that he was choosing to trust you again with his secrets and mysteries. Or his delusions.

“You can..build fire?” you asked him so he nodded again as if it wasn't the craziest thing in the world.

Could that be the reason why he was burning like a furnace all the time?

“Okay, then I wait” you mumbled softly so he rose up slowly and hugged you tightly before he left that night.

However two days passed and his hair still looked the same, it looked really awful and you could tell that he was getting antsy about it as well. He clearly felt embarrassed and frustrated but dragon baby or not, you were going to help him get through this thing. Perhaps this was a coping mechanism for him , something he had developed as a child to cope with the loneliness he had surrounding him..

Three days later you finally dragged him out of his room and took him to the groomer in the facility to get his hair fixed. You liked how the longer hair looked on him, it made him stand out and if you were being honest with yourself it gave him a distinct aura but as he said it was just hair and it would grow back, at least he wasn't hurting himself.

As you assisted him back to his room he seemed a bit gloomy so you stepped inside and closed the door to offer him some comfort.

“Why are you sad?” You asked him so he sighed.

“Now you think I'm full of crap” he muttered, as if he was expecting you to judge him and call him a lunatic.

“I don't think that way” you responded.

“You certainly don't think very highly of me” he mumbled, his eyes seeming as if he was close to tearing up.

“That's not for you to decide” you told him confidently so he snickered at first but as you walked towards him and wrapped your arms around his waist to embrace him, you could see his defenses breaking down. “Besides, I don't care whether you're a dragon or not, I don't care whether or not you can turn into an otherworldly creature. I just care about you and I don't want you to get hurt” you mumbled as you looked up at him and you could tell he wasn't really expecting that, he was expecting you to make fun of his delusions and not be such an angel about it.

“So it's not a problem for you if I am lying about it?” he asked curiously so you gave him a smile.

“I'm sure you think you're not lying, it's real in your head and i believe that”

As you laid down in your bed that night, your mind was filled with mixed emotions. You couldn't stop thinking about the situation, and you found yourself feeling guilty about what you had done by telling Vis about Daemon's supposed feathers. You knew that you had made a huge mistake, and you really wished that you were capable of taking it back somehow but it wasn't possible.

The next morning as you dragged your cart into his room, you quickly beelined towards the bedside lamp, it was dark in his room and you heard the shower running already, which was a surprise as he often slept until late..

As he came out of the bathroom you had your back turned towards him so he smiled,

“I want to show you something” he mumbled in his “I'm sexy first thing in the morning voice” so you shrugged in response.

“Put your clothes on first..or just a cloth would do” you requested him so he grabbed a trousers from the closet and put it on.

As you turned around, you were greeted by a shocking sight - there he stood with a long, wet, silver mane cascading down his shoulders, almost reaching his waist.

As he approached, you took involuntary steps behind but there wasn't much room for you to hide. Was that a wig? How did he find it if it was? It can't be real right? What would you do if it was real? What would that even mean? You found yourself going through an existential crisis at the moment.

As you hit the wall, he placed his arms around you to entrap you between him and the wall, and he smelled divine, which wasn't really fair to you, you must smell like cleaning chemical products all the time, you thought..

You finally dared yourself to look up at his head, particularly at those long luscious thick hair.

“Touch it” he asked you as he let out a whispering voice so you shook your head, your eyes already teary so he grabbed your hand and brought it closer to his head before he leaned down and pressed his nose into your neck like always.

“Touch them please” your fingers eventually clutched around the roots of his hair and you sighed, from the relief but also the weirdness of the situation.

“Pull” he whispered in your ear so you closed your eyes and pulled on his strands slightly to confirm that his hair was actually real. It was all real.

“How?” You asked him a stupid question so he pressed his head up and looked at you intently.

“You know how, you just don't want to believe it”

“You turned into a dragon last night?”

“For a moment, it was enough”’

“What if I'm crazy.. and this is a hallucination? Just my mind playing tricks on me? What if this is not even real? What if you're not real” you looked up at him with your teary eyes and trembling lips so he tilted his head. He didn't expect you to understand this, not yet, nobody did, but at least you didn't run away from him at the first sign of trouble, last night you were in here telling him that you'd care for him no matter what, even if he was crazy and delusional you showed him that you'd stand by him.

His hands dragged up from the side of your waist and your breaths picked up immediately, his fingers then trailed the side of your curves, making your knees feel weak at the touch.

“Would this feel so hot if you were hallucinating darling?” he asked you as he opened the buttons of your cardigan, your fingers clutched around the waistband of his trousers.

“Daemon-” you whispered his name as his fingers glided over your chest, your nipples became erect quickly, the thin bra you had on did nothing to hide your shame. As he finally touched the aroused clothed nubs you almost combusted.

“It's all real, I'm real and I'm trying to show you who I am” he whispered in your ear as he cupped your breasts in his palms and rubbed his fingers over your bosom.

“How? Why? It can't be real Daemon” you asked him, not in the sense of judgment but disbelief. You found yourself annoyed by your own questions but he smiled instead.

“I don't really know, i wish to know why I am this way and I'll figure it out, that's why I'm here” he told you as he brought his palms up to cup your cheeks, thumb grazing over your lips tenderly.

“I'm sorry I am trying to make sense of it, I don't want to hurt you, I'm sorry if I still seem doubtful but I'm trying” you mumbled almost quietly so he nuzzled his nose against yours to calm you down.

“I know, i know sweet girl, thank you, nobody has tried before, nobody cared enough, just you being here is important for me”

You got on your tiptoes to wrap your arms around his neck to hug him, the scent of your hair calmed him for a moment but then he heard something and he immediately had you pressed against the wall with his hand wrapped around your throat, a moment later the door flung open.

“What's going on over here?” Dr. Vis asked so and you felt Daemon's grip around your neck tighten for a moment before he let you go.

“Your stupid fucking maid can't even do her job properly” he stormed towards Vis so he glared at him, a moment later two guards entered and handcuffed Daemon, you knew if he wanted to get out of their clutches he could have done so easily but he didn't even try.

“Are you alright dear?” Vis asked so you nodded, you knew Daemon pretended to attack you in order to protect your job and your image in front of Vis but you didn't think Dr. Vis was a man fooled so easily.

“Yes, I just need a moment” you mumbled as you caressed your neck and fixed your cardigan as you moved towards your cart to get the fuck out of there.

“What is this hmm?” Vis asked Daemon as he flicked his long hair to mock him.

“For a doctor you surely are dense”

The remark earned Daemon a slap on the cheek and then he was dragged out of the room for his therapy session.

The possibility of Daemon being an otherworldly creature was becoming more probable day by day and you didn't know how to accept it. How was it even possible? Did his mother sleep with a dragon? Or she was a dragon? Dragons existed? There were other human dragon hybrids in the world or he was the only one? Your brain was running a mile per second with all those thoughts in there.

Later that night you somehow were able to sneak into his room, there was a mark on his cheek and it made your heart clench for him,

“This is not right daemon..he can't treat you like this all the time, you're a patient here, not a prisoner” you mumbled softly as you caressed his cheek so he sighed,

“We need to stop seeing each other like this” he mumbled suddenly but it didn't really surprise you, you knew it was becoming dangerous for you both.

“Mmmm I'll stop tomorrow..did he not question the hair?” You asked him so he shook his head.

“He blames it on generalized hypertrichosis, claims that i have had it since birth”

“Even with the condition you can't grow 12 inches in a night-” you said to him and you could see the grin forming over his face “Shut up”

“I didn't say anything”

“You're doing it in your head”

“Head is definitely involved darling”

“Shut uppppp ..” you mumbled again so he grabbed your chin and leaned into you to kiss your forehead.

“They're beautiful” you mumbled softly as you grabbed a lock of his hair between your fingers, they were silky and so shiny as if he had just returned from a hair salon.

“Would you cut them a little bit shorter for me?” he asked you so you hummed in response before you spoke.

“Mmmm I definitely can but you should keep them for a night, I can braid them for you”

He was definitely happier about the prospect of getting his hair tended to so he excitedly sat down on the floor after passing you the brush. You carefully brushed the tangles and braided it from the sides before you tied those ends together in the center, he looked beautiful, you couldn't really take your eyes off him.

For some reason you just knew that this particular memory was going to stick with you for a long time to come.

The next morning, as you went about your morning routine, you couldn't help but feel a sense of curiosity wash over you. When you saw two policemen in the corridor with Viserys, it piqued your curiosity more than ever before. The police had been around the center quite a few times, usually when a patient would run away. You decided to investigate, and made your way towards the cafeteria, hoping to find answers. As you entered the room, you saw Shyla crying, and Dina trying to comfort her so you approached them as well.

“What's wrong?” You asked her so Dina sighed, her response wasn't what you could have expected even in your worst nightmare.

“That previous patient Tanya from 393? Her body was found in the woods nearby last night”

👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀

Taglist

@anukulee @ammo23 @littledark11 @stupidthoughtsinwriting

@daenny-t

[angstywaifu]

The Lost Sister - Part 14

Synopsis: Xaden is known as an only child due to his sister who 'died' during the Rebellion. Little do they know she didn't die and has been so close this entire time.

Garrick Tavis x OC A/N: Thank you all for the lovely feedback and support on the last part. For those that did miss it, I would recommend going and reading part 13. I know it didn't show for a few people initially. Now Ophelia has her dragon, what are your guys thoughts on what her signet will be? Also requests are open and I do have a prompt list linked in my masterlist now. Please send in any requests! The Lost Sister Masterlist | Masterlist

A loud thud echoes around my room, Garrick’s arms tightening protectively around me.

”Ophelia hav-” A loud sigh and a dull thud as if someone has rested their head on the door meets me ears.

I feel Garrick chuckle underneath me and I look up to see Xaden resting his forehead on the half closed door, pinching the bridge of his nose, his eyes screwed shut. Shit.

”Least you two finally sorted your shit out I guess.” He says sarcastically.

I let out the breath I had been holding. He’s not angry. Which given how he just found Garrick and I still very naked in my bed, I’m very glad.

“Hey Xaden did you fin-” I hear someone ask.

”Don’t come in here!” Xaden nearly yells. Feet skidding to a halt outside my door.

”Why what’s wr- Oh.” I see Bodhi’s head appear in the small gap between Xaden and the door. “About damn time.”

Xaden growls and angrily shoves Bodhi out of the way before following and shutting the door behind him, leaving Garrick and I alone. Garrick’s booming laugh echoes around my room as he pulls me to lie on top of him.

”Well that’s one way to tell your brother we sorted it out.” He tells me with a kiss to the top of my head as he brushes some stray strands of hair from my face.

”I’m surprised he didn’t kill you or throw you out in the hallway.” I joke.

”Trust me, if there’s anyone your brother wouldn’t do that to. It’s me.” He assures me.

Something in his tone tells me something had been said between the two and I knew not to pry any further. I feel Garrick’s fingers tracing up and down my side. Almost as if tracing a pattern. I look up at him to see him looking down at my side to. And that’s when I realise he’s seen my dragon relic. The white relic started just below my shoulder, and weaved its way down the side of my torso and wrapped itself all the way down to my thigh. It was quite large. And just like my dragon, the wings, tails and horns were all tipped with dark red. It was a stark contrast to the dark rebellion relic on my other side.

“That has to be the largest relic I’ve ever seen.” Mimicking my thoughts.

”Yeah Mealladh didn’t hold back.” I say remembering how she had engulfed me in heat yesterday while giving me the mark.

At the mention of her name I feel her presence in the back of my mind. But I slam the shield up between us. Another thing Melgren had taught me how to do even though I would have no way to till I bonded a dragon.

”Interesting name for an interesting looking dragon.” He mutters as his eyes move back to mine. “You two have definitely caused some commotion in the quadrant along with Violet and Tairn.”

He wasn’t wrong. Violet had bonded no one but two dragons yesterday. One of them the unbonded black dragon we were told was not bonding this years. And the golden feathertail. Also not to mention Tairn was Sgaeyl’s mate. Meaning Xaden and Violet were now connected for the rest of their lives. Despite how displeased he tried to look over it, I had not missed the furious look and shadows he had conjured to hold his feet down while Dain had kissed Violet. Something I knew Garrick had noticed to from what I had seen.

”Seems my year is full of surprises.”

He rolls his eyes. “You could say that again. Probably the most exciting year I’ve had since I started here.” He sits up, pulling me with him into his lap as he sits on the edge of the bed. “And as much as I would love to escape it for a little bit longer and stay here with you, I think your brother actually needs me.”

I narrow his eyes at him, his laugh yet again echoing around the room. This was the most I had heard him laugh since I’d been here. And I’d missed it. He sets me down on his feet as he starts to gather his clothes. He catches me staring and decides to throw some of my stuff at me, signalling to stop and do the same.

We walk out my door and run into Violet and Rhiannon whose rooms are next to mine. Both of their heads whip towards us and there’s no way to hide what definitely happened last night. The way they both look at me and smirk, they know.

”Have fun.” Garrick teases before walking away, leaving me with Rhiannon and Violet.

Both raise their eyebrows at me as I slowly approach them.

”So that’s who you dragged into your room last night when I came into the corridor.” Rhiannon says with a smirk.

”Oh shut up.” I say with a soft laugh.

”Well we’re happy for you.” Violet adds with a soft smile. “I can tell you have known him for a while, and seems its been a long time coming.”

It’s the one thing I will always give Violet credit for. She was observant. Most of the time at least.

“Do I dare ask about you and Dain?” I ask as we start walking towards breakfast.

Rhiannon laughs and shakes her head. “She felt nothing.”

“Nothing?” My head snapping towards Violet who gives a hesitant nod.

I almost felt sorry for Dain. I’d always thought those two were a done deal like Garrick and I. Just waiting for the right time for it to happen. Clearly I had been wrong. And judging by Rhiannon’s look at me, she had thought the same.

“Good morning, ladies.” Ridoc forces his way through the crowd to us, putting an arm around Violet and I as we walk into the rotunda. “Or should I say, riders?”

”I like the sound of riders.” Rhiannon replies with a smile at him.

“It has a certain wring to it.” Ridoc agrees.

”It’s definitely better than dead.” I add sarcastically earning a laugh from them all.

“Where’s your relic?” Violet asks Ridoc as we pass into the commons.

”Right here.” He removes his arm from around Violets shoulders, moving the sleeve of his tunic up to reveal the brown mark of a dragon silhouette on his arm. It was way smaller than the mark Mealladh had given me. “You?” He asks directing his question to Violet.

She points to the middle of her back. “Can’t see it. It’s on my back.

”That will keep you safer if you’re ever separated from that massive dragon of yours. His eyes dance. “I swear, I thought I was going to shit myself when I saw him on the field. Oh and yours to Ophelia. Cool colouring for a red dragon. What about yours, Rhi and Ophelia?”

”Somewhere you’ll never see.” She responds.

”Garrick might have to kill you if I show you mine.” I joke.

”You two wound me.” He slap his hand over his heart. “But about time with you and Garrick.”

We move through the commons and into the dining hall to join the line for food. The other’s are too caught up in something else to notice the shift in dynamic in the room as we enter. The volume in the room doesn’t change, the conversation still going. But I can see all eyes on our group. On Violet and I. Violet who now has a target on her back for bonding the most powerful dragon in the quadrant and one not even meant to be up this year, as well as a second dragon. Not to mention her name. Then there’s me. The lost sister of the rebellion reader bonding a dragon no ones ever seen or heard of till yesterday. We would both be targets for the unbonded from our year.

I grab my food and follow the others to a table. Ridoc goes to ask a table if we can take their spare seats, they agree but end up giving us the whole table as they run off elsewhere. Not only did Violet and I have targets on our backs from the unbonded, we’d just become two of the most powerful riders in our year and in the quadrant behind Xaden.

“Well that was really fucking weird.” Rhiannon says as she walks to the other side of the table sitting across from Ridoc and I.

“Even weirder? Ridoc remarks as he gestures to the other side of the room.

I follow his gaze and watch as Jack Barlow is being squeezed out of his table. Being forced to stand while others take his seat. He hadn’t tried anything with me, probably due to Xaden and Garrick. But he had made it clear he wanted Violet dead.

”What the hell is going on?” Rhiannon adds.

I continue to watch Jack as he tries to go to another table with no success. Eventually he finds a spot a few more tables down. My thoughts echo Ridoc’s words. How the mighty had fallen. Another girl who I remember Violet beating in her second challenge walks by and says hello happily. Then a boy I had knocked out in mere seconds congratulates me on bonding Mealladh.

“It’s because you two bonded the biggest and most powerful dragons.” Imogen adds as he blows her pink hair out of her face and takes the empty spot next to me. Her usual spot now.

Ever since our conversation after we’d beaten each other up in challenges, she frequently sat next to me at meals. She even trained with me if we were both in the gym. An unspoken friendship over a man that had picked one of us.

“The morning after Threshing is always a clusterfuck. Power balance shifts, and you, little Sorrengail and Riorson, are now about to be the most powerful riders in the quadrant. Anyone with common sense is going to be scared of you two.” She adds.

Imogen was right. There had definitely been a shift now us first years had bonded dragons. Those who had shown dominance in classes, but had bonded smaller or weaker dragons were now sitting elsewhere in the hall.

”Which is why you’re now sitting with us?” Rhiannon asks as she arches an eye brow at Imogen. “Because I can count on one hand the number of nice words you’ve said to any of us.” I smirk at the fist she holds up towards Imogen with zero fingers raised.

Quinn and Sawyer join our group, taking the spots next to Imogen and Rhiannon.

”You weren’t interesting enough to sit with before.” Imogen says casually as she bites into a muffin.

”I usually sit with my girlfriend in Claw Section,. Besides, no use getting to know you when most of you die, no offence.” Adds Quinn.

She had a very valid point. A lot of us had died in the past few months. Though even with dragons there was still a chance we would die. It wasn’t as common, but here and there second and third years would be on the death roll in the morning.

It had become clear we were the squad on top now. With Violet and I with the biggest dragons in the quadrant now. Some third years I had only seen in passing and at formation every morning came and joined us. We were now worth their time. The only ones missing were our leaders and they were sat over with leadership.

My squad launch into talks about Barlowe and his smaller dragon, Violet not wanting to eat the food and Imogen offering to train Violet. I can tell by the way Imogen talks it is not her choice. I look over at the leadership table on the dais and catch Garrick looking at Violet with worry. He’s concerned. With Violet and Xaden’s fates now tethered together, their lives depend on each other. Xaden is going to do anything he can to make sure she stays alive. And as Xaden looks up from peeling his apple to look at Violet, I know that is what he intends.

I look back to see the others getting up to make their way to our first ever flight lesson. Something I was quite excited for. Yesterdays small taste of flying was not enough. I wanted more. I go to follow but a hand on my arm stops me, and I look over to see Imogen looking at me with a smirk.

”So how was it?” Part 15 Taglist:

@riorgail @going-through-shit @fw-gt @bbkissme99 @xceafh @leptitlu

[notenoughdragons]

so i caved yesterday after *gestures* all of that on the other side of the pond, and bought veilguard (meant to wait till the first bugfix patch is out), and i have thoughts

(spoilers for the first few quests)

fucking adore the character creator. overwhelming as heck but God a+

addendum: why tf aren't there different lip/mouth shapes. we have like 30 eyelash options. i'm p sure da:i had diff mouth shapes

THERE'S NO QUICK SAVE/LOAD OPTION???? why on god's green earth

the photo mode is NEAT (tip, get yourself reshade plus the "mod" that allows hiding the UI, so you can do screenshot nonsense in cutscenes too)

it took me like 15 min to get rid of the quest marker bc that shit is hidden in Two diff menus but oh my god so worth it

on that note, i'm Really enjoying the area/level/dungeon design, and traversing it Without an annoying big blue star thing blinking at you is really good

the environments are just. unhinged in the best way. THE CROSSROADS? D'META VILLAGE?? THE OSSUARY???? perfect no notes

have i mentioned the hair? the hair is really good. i'm a lttle obsessed with the style i gave my rook, i didn't think i'd like it this much

okay let's talk plot bc. uh.

see, on the one hand? so far (recruited bellara and got the dagger and fucked around in the crossroads and am currently getting murdered by murdering calivan so lucanis will murder for Me) it… works for me? like it really feels like getting thrown into the DEEP deep end, but it's a kind of. idk. sensible progression?

and oh my god ghilan'nain. i kinda hate how normal she comes across in the memory dungeon lab? (which. AMAZING QUEST) but also i love that SHE'S UNHINGED, that solas clearly held sympathies for her, the way i YELLED when you hear her voice when that dragon shows up in the blighted village??? amazing

(NO fucking idea how this would play for someone who's not familiar with the series, good lord the amount of exposition crammed randomly into codex cards???)

that being said. how the fuck does this connect from trespasser/tevinter nights. solas what Happened to you. like this is (part of) why i'm Not using saar as the inq in this run, bc even pretending they Weren't madly in love, it doesn't work. i don't think it works for Any inquisitor who befriended/romanced him (unless maybe one who decided to go full scorched earth and hunt him down at all costs)

in meta terms i know why this is happening but How is varric our insight point into solas and the connection to him. even if you're not playing them, this Should be the inq. solas doesn't lose a single fucking word about anyone But the inquisitor in trespasser. it's just this really tragic dissonance y'know

also the way this game is frontloaded is so fucking funny (i am also choosing to find it funny). IMMEDIATELY unleash the evanuris. IMMEDIATELY get solas trapped somewhere so he can't use his not-god powers to help you. FIRST "normal" quest is a horror movie walkthrough of The Most Blighted Village You Can Imagine, like okay! solas spends all of da:i being fucking coy about the blight and now it's like 'the evanuris are blighted. yeah they used the blight for power that's why i trapped them. they got out and immediately start spitting blight everywhere For Power. the REST of the blight is trapped in the evanuris prison. yeah the black city IS the evanuris prison. also blight is alive too. uh what else'

sidenote. did. did no one think it was A Little Weird to frame it like 'solas is trapped in the fade' - 'but not like us! we're also trapped in the fade but in a completely different way!'

i do love the fade conversations, it's got dishonored vibes

(and cut-away scenes to the Villains Having Ominous Convos! i liked that in da:o)

also i have hints turned on and the. the little pop-ups. "solas remembers your verbal jab" THANKS GAME

ACTUALLY SPEAKING OF THOSE VILLAIN CONVERSATIONS. we're just gonna drop into a fucking codex that the lyrium dagger IS the red lyrium idol??? SOLAS CAN CLEANSE THE BLIGHT AND WE'RE NOT GONNA TALK ABOUT IT????

basically. the connective tissue to da:i etc is uhhhh. insane. bonkers, even. but also when i ignore that, it's legit fun??

also good lord i'm glad i didn't try to come up with a super specific character/backstory for this, the faction backstories are Real specific, and rook is written with a v definitive Slant (not a bad one! but there IS a slant)

[staarjeelly]

i'm not necessarily a hater but i would still love to hear your thoughts on the httyd live action trailer

first of all, thank you so much for asking but i must warn you that i'm not going to shut up about it now.

i've given this a lot of thought and i think i might've gone a little bit overboard (sorry not sorry). so, behold;

my (probably unfinished) list of reasons as to why i’m sure the httyd live action is going to be shit

i really don’t think there’s another way to start this list: characterization. we can all agree that (as far as we’ve seen), they didn’t get anyone right. starting off with hiccup, and with all due respect to mason thames, that is NOT how he was supposed to look. hiccup was an outcast, a runt, a late developer, a “nuisance”, if you will. he is depicted as this scrawny looking child that wasn’t even able to hold an axe properly and that would never, ever become what a viking should be. and he isn’t any of that in the remake. he isn’t meant to be hiccup, and it’s painfully obvious. stoick is worth a mention, because i didn’t expect to be this underwhelmed with his character when i knew that gerard butler was going to play him, but here we are. i understand the decision to cast him as stoick, no one else could ever live up to the standard of that role, but i can’t see stoick when i look at him. for the rest, i can’t say much, since i haven’t seen how they decided to characterize them, but something i can say is that the people out there being racist towards nico parker should just keep their mouths shut. 

the way they designed toothless honestly just makes me mad. i’ve seen a lot of people complaining about this same issue, and i wish i could use all of their points and arguments, to be honest. i just have one thing to say. what did they do to my boy?? he looks so unbelievably bad. as far as i’ve seen, his proportions are weird, his wings look like they’re made out of leather and he doesn’t have any of his markings, scars, nothing. every detail that added depth to his design is gone. i saw someone say that he looks like that horrible pez dispenser and now i can only think of that. to me, he just looks like a toad. the rest of the dragons aren’t much better, either. they are recognizable, yeah, but the second they appear on the trailer doesn’t say much. pretty sure they are going to be as underwhelming as toothless. 

(this is what i was talking about)

another thing that i’m sure is going to happen is that they’re going to depict the scenes so miserably. the downed dragon scene?? like?????? it was one of the deepest, most telling (and for me) nerve-wracking scenes in the whole movie. i remember watching it when i was little (and not so little), seated at the end of my seat, leaning towards the screen in complete awe. the music, lighting, atmosphere… i got goosebumps every time i saw how the camera moved from toothless lying body, how it passed over his wing and stopped right above his open eye. i’m feeling those same chills just thinking about it. and in the trailer and the leaks, it just looks like a national geographic documentary. it feels nothing like the original, and i know that being a copy of the original isn’t its point but like. try a little harder. (i don’t even want to think about how test flight or forbidden friendship are going to be, but i’m scared)

the movie itself just looks bland. the backgrounds look straight out from a walmart commercial, costumes look tacky, and it just doesn’t look like berk. to me, it seems like they tried to create some kind of cartoony atmosphere?? it obviously didn’t work, and that’s what i guess makes the movie look cheap. like it’s some low cost rip-off. and given the budget they had, i hoped we would get berk in all of its glory. they failed in capturing that feeling that the animated trilogy has, that comfort and warmth that almost wants to make you jump into the screen to live amongst dragons. and i’m so bummed because of that. 

this is one of my BIGGEST issues with this movie. because it’s not like we wanted the movie in the first place. i’m sick and tired of hollywood, dreamworks, whoever’s been involved in this monstrosity, thinking that what we want is another shitty cgi live action. i’m sick and tired of animation not being treated as a serious form of portraying media, because it is!! we have so many examples of good animation, with touching stories and fantastic writing in the past years!! arcane, the spiderverse movies, nimona… and i could keep going! animation should be boosted instead of pushed under a bunch of live actions no one asked for!!!! and i’m so mad about this!!!

and the final, and i think most important issue with this movie is that httyd DIDN’T need a live action. yes, i know that the ending they chose for the films isn’t the best, yes i know it isn’t the best piece of media there is (at least for the people that aren’t fans), but it was enough! the characters were well written, the storyline was moving, the scenes, music, writing… i still remember when i was four, 2010, and my dad took me to the cinema to watch it for the first time. i remember leaving that movie theater with my mind completely blown away. and that feeling of… love and nostalgia has only grown over the years. which is why i’m so mad about all of this. i didn’t want the live action. i don’t want one of my favorite pieces of media to be turned into this cash grab nonsense. i don’t want it to be ruined. 

so, yeah. i think that’s about it. i apologize again because this is like super long, but i had to get it out of my system. and tsym for asking <333

[dragons-library]

Another fourth wing rant:

Damn hearing Violet learn of the Venin for the first time hurts😫

I get them both and it breaks my heart.

Because deciding to tell Violet, damn even figuring out how to tell her or when to tell her, that basically her entire life has been a lie, that her mother is complicit, specially since she was gonna be a scribe, everything she thinks is absolute fact it’s actually a horrible lie. That has to be hard as fuck. Would she have believed him at first without proof?? And if she had, Not only would she have had to be able to completely shield from Dain (which yeah she can have great shields for a first year but they would be risking the entire revolution) but also if anyone suspected she knew anything she would’ve been in risk of being tortured and questioned as a first year without any training on that front. He should’ve told her, I absolutely agree with violet that he should’ve told her, I just don’t even know when he could’ve or how, because talking about that within the walls of the college is also so risky and it’s not even just his secret to tell. Not to mention Xaden has a very hard time trusting people and he was learning to trust Violet, damn it he just decided to try to be with her when they were called for war games and thrown into all this shit.

Telling her everything would’ve involved telling her about her brother, (which is not even his secret to tell at all) also about the deal with her mother, which is a whole other can of worms, and he couldn’t have known how she would react to all of it.

And Violet, my girl's entire world just shattered, she feels alone because even her dragons hid the truth from her. She’s completely alone and the foundations of everything she believes in just evaporated. Of course she’s upset, she has every right to be angry at everyone. At that point she also believes her brother died in the name of a lie and the deaths of innocent people outside the borders. Damn right she’s absolutely livid at everyone, and feels like everything has been a lie. And yet she decides to help. I can’t put into words how much I love violet, she’s strong and wise in a way that goes beyond her powers.

And I also remember that they are just barely out of their teens, and honestly I don’t know what the fuck I’m doing 100% of the time, can you imagine dealing with all that shit before your frontal lobe develops??😭

[ghirahimbo]

i started replaying totk recently, i say replaying bc i did buy and play it when it was first released but dropped it after a couple days bc i was busy w stuff. and so i'm doing a lot of things now for the first time and obv i can't help comparing it to botw and it's genuinely got me so upset how link has been forgotten by so many people, all the people he helped in botw all the quests he did are just meaningless, all my registered horses were carried over but they couldn't keep the character interactions? all the champions are mentioned once with the exception of mipha there's no memories or divine beasts. the zora who had remembered link for 100 years had forgotten him since botw how is that possible. i had to make an ugly house near tarrey town to hang my weapons bc the hateno house was no longer mine 😭😭😭 somehow it made the game feel lonelier, even though botw was more empty there was much emotion in it.

it's not that i hated totk i liked exploring and finding new outfits, the dragons, rediscovering my favourite places etc but idk i was genuinely tearing up thinking about the champions being forgotten and all of link's previous sacrifices meaning nothing. sorry to send these random messages i don't follow anyone else who still blogs about zelda 😭😭

No, I know exactly what you mean! 😢 Honestly (lol can't remember if I've already said this before or not, so maybe I'm re-ranting here, but) my personal take is that totk shouldn't have been a sequel game, especially because Nintendo doesn't like to concern themselves with the continuity between games that a direct sequel like this just needs. With some tweaking/set up/rewriting, totk could have worked as a stand-alone story, and then they wouldn't have had to take away from what botw achieved in the name of making it more approachable to new players.

And yeah, I didn't hate it either! I liked the gameplay and the weapons system and the feeling of stakes whenever you entered a new town and saw how things had all gone to shit. Loved the wells. I just think it was too eager to pretend botw didn't exist while at the same time leaning on it so heavily that it would fall to pieces if you tried to extract the botw out of it :P

[redjennies]

i see you sometimes in different dragon age tags like "oh yeah the lae'zel fan with the redjenny url. who also likes oghren. extreme good taste" and then as an anders girlie i see your "anti"-anders post and im like "yeah they even have good taste in the way they hate my guy"

aw I really appreciate this! I'm really glad people like my takes on Oghren. I almost posted this long ass meta about him while doing my Brosca playthrough but ended up saving it to the drafts because I was like "girl you are the only person going to bat for this man and everyone else is just tolerating your right to be ornery about disliked characters." I just think about him at the Temple of Sacred Ashes a lot. to anyone reading this, if you've never brought him there, you are truly missing out on some fucking wild character work. he is a gem.

truthfully I'm not even really that anti-Anders when I'm not actively in a mood about how much this fandom annoys me. I'm extremely critical of him as a person and full disclosure, without trauma-dumping too much, I do have a personal history that makes it hard for me to not see him as very manipulative if not outright abusive. but I actually quite enjoy him as a character. I think he's got a lot of flaws and strengths that are really interesting to examine how they coincide with Hawke's larger story. how Anders and Hawke are arguably more intrinsically linked to each other than Varric and Hawke are. it might surprise people but I intentionally max out his friendship every time with my main Hawke because I think their particular story is more tragic if she has fully drunk the Anders kool-aid because he's the first unapologetic apostate she's met outside of her family and because he saved Carver in the Deep Roads and she feels like she owes him. even more of a surprise possibly, I love Sebastian and don't like Anders, but my canon ending is Hawke sparing him one last time and asking him to leave because I think that's the best ending for how I play their relationship. like "no, you have asked so much of me and I have done it for you over and over but I'm not going to give you this, even at the expense of my other friendships. you don't get the easy way out. you have to live with this and you have to do it far away from me." like fuck man! the drama! the poetry! the divorce!

honestly most of my vitriol towards him comes from over a decade now of having an extremely negative experience with what I fully recognize are not all his fans but a vocal group of people who plague the Bioware fandom who are just as bigoted as your average fanboy but in a way they can dress up as "social justice." I've said a lot about how I think the Circle and apostates is just straight up a bad metaphor for systemic oppression (see also: any setting with supers and/or legitimately dangerous monsters as stand-in for oppressed people.) and I won't get into it too much here, but it's worth mentioning because I believe the mage rights discourse and Anders particularly attracts this crowd because you know he's a cute queer whiteboy with legitimate problems and pseudo-radical politics. but I was in the DA Tumblr fandom when Inquisition dropped I remember what group of fans on Tumblr who were particularly rabid in their hatred towards characters like Vivienne and Sera (who are both critical of mage freedom, mind.) 'Twas not primarily the Cullenites calling Vivienne an Uncle Tom, no matter what people will tell you now.

and I also get that there's this way Anders haters talk about him that makes even more otherwise reasonable fans dig their heels in about him. like any critique of him that boils down to "Anders bad because he did a terrorism and terrorism bad" is not really useful to me because yeah, I'm not super keen on bombings as the best course of political action, but terrorism is a very politically loaded and at this point somewhat meaningless term that is mostly used to justify extreme violence against a person or group by the state. I don't need to bring up real life examples because the politics of who is and isn't labeled a terrorist being shorthand for who is and isn't a person deserving of basic human rights has become so obvious over the last three decades that everyone knows at least one example of what I'm talking about. on top of that, I'm a big believer that fiction does not and should not exist in a vacuum and good art should provoke discussions about how we view people who do similar things that these fictional characters do. who are we being asked to give empathy to and who are we not? who are we naturally extending empathy to and who are we not? how do we immediately feel about these things? are we outraged? disgusted? moved? does sympathizing with these characters change our understanding of our personal ethical lines? are certain actions justified under dire circumstances or are there certain lines that should never be crossed? are people forever defined by it when they cross said lines? etc etc. none of these questions can be meaningfully answered by "no, thing bad because thing bad."

that being said, I still come down on the side of Anders is a shitty person at the end of the day. not because he blew up that church or even because he tried to kill that girl, but because there's a consistent lack of compassion for the suffering and/or oppression of others the second someone doesn't fit his mold. because he's honestly pretty sexist and racist in universe. because his romance plot is just a series of progressively worsening red flags in a way that's in my opinion, less sexy and more like he's gonna start punching holes in the wall right next to you. because he's lowkey a tankie. and I've said it before and I'll say it til the day I die, we can have a discussion about how ableism influenced his writing, but at the end of the day, as a mentally ill anarchist, I know buckets and buckets of mentally ill leftist whiteboys who act like this. shit I know women and nonbinary people who act like this too. while I can understand that Bioware wasn't necessarily coming from the same perspective I am and think people are right to call his overarching storyline a tired centrist liberal take on the dangers of radicalism, his character writing still feels not only coherent as a character but very true to a particular type of ain't shit anarchist boy I have encountered over and over. i cannot dismiss his flaws and worst moments as bad writing because I feel like I personally know this asshole.

for example, I once made a post about Dissent years and years ago where I was talking about Anders/Justice/Vengeance/whoever we're calling him depending on what's most useful in the moment's outburst of violence towards Ella through the lens of male entitlement even in leftist circles and like yeah I was being a little tongue in cheek about it because a) I'm pretty tongue in cheek in general, b) I have a tendency to get even more tongue in cheek when I'm talking about things that hit a little too close to home to me, and c) that quest is frankly terrifying if you've lived a life that makes you relate more to Ella in that scene than to Anders. I think it was something along the lines of "people can call Anders a revolutionary all they want but when a mage girl was afraid of him instead of grateful for his rescue, he tried to kill her. [insert anarcho-feminist ranting here]" and I remember someone arguing with me about how that's not what happened at all and how even though I was being pithy, their take on the situation was so utterly removed from what occurs that I had to go back and watch the scene to make sure I wasn't the one completely misremembering it which made me realize just how much Anders has been completely rewritten in parts of the fandom consciousness.

which in and of itself is not really a problem. I know some people just don't care for interacting with fanon at all and want to stay as true to canon as possible and I'm like that sometimes, but there are lots of characters I'm like "oh, I don't like how their story went in canon or think the writer had a neat idea but is too misogynistic to handle her in a way I like and I'm going to basically put them in an AU where they developed their traits in a different way and I can recognize this is more or less my version of them." there's characters I don't care for in canon but I love someone else's fanon version of them. I'm even fine with people doing this with Anders, if they want. I've read really good fic with him that is not my take but hey you do you, this is what transformative fandom is for after all. but I do get more than a little prickly when I'm interacting with my reading of canon that is of course informed by my experiences but still discussing something that just literally happens and someone tells me I'm wrong because of what basically amounts to their fanfics, you know?

anyway that's my very long post about my complicated and extremely nuanced Anders feelings. great character, shitty person, his fans are either really cool or really fucking not. also it's been almost fifteen years, and I still think we should've had Jowan in DA2 as a familiar face helping out in the mage underground to both flesh them out more and to serve as a middle ground between the more circle-aligned Orsino and the initially representing the mage underground before getting progressively more Kaczynski-esque, Anders, instead of Cullen just kind of hanging out in the templars not really doing anything.

[howetragic]

DARP Advent 2024: Day Six

HALFWAY THERE!

Let's talk about INFLUENCES and ADMIRATION! Mun Portion!:

1. What inspired you to get into DARP? Former RP experiences? Just a love for the games? Oh boy. So I actually have a looooooong history of RP since I was in like middle school??? My best friend in the entire world and I actually met on Neopets!!! on the RP boards. I was in this group called the Annoyers and we would "raid" creepy/weird RP threads and/or just flood the boards. Some of us got banned. I then went on to lead this group in a multi-fandom mix of boards. We had a b2g board and a... gosh I can't remember what it's called. We were also on Gaia Online. I was a moderator with Dragon Ball Z / greek mythology muses (hilarious spread there, I know). Then I got on Tumblr, I started writing Dragon Age fanfic for my Hero of Ferelden. And Shink, Pandy, and Tabbi were foolish enough to allow me to RP with them on my personal blog until I finally took the leap and made myself an RP blog and the rest is kind of like history. 2. Name one (or a couple) of your fellow writers that you think are neat, and why! Can be famous, on Tumblr, in your real life, on AO3, whatever. My baes both on AO3 and here are @theshirallen and @theharellan, and I'm also in love with @fatedvoyage, @turlums, @mercysought. Can't recommend those nerds enough. 3. Has anyone in DARP (past or present!) really helped to define or reimagine a character for you? Or made you rethink perceptions that you held? Oh God yeah. Most notable being Tas with Solas - before I met Tas I didn't really give a shit about Solas and wasn't particularly interested in him or his story. Unfortunately for my brain if Inara doesn't Vibe with a character I don't pay too much attention to them at first, and Solas resided in that gray bubble. Tas made me love him and be fascinated even before that turned out to be a very plot-relevant thing to be. 4. What other fandoms/works/writers have influenced your writing style and the way that you view writing and creative expression? lololol maybe see above but overall my writing was influenced very early on by Douglas Adams and Phillip Pullman. I wanted to be magical, but also amusing. 5. Do you have any friends that have created a Warden/Hawke/Inquisitor/Rook that you've basically adopted? Yes. I still use Pandy's Hawke but also steal @fatedvoyage's Van. I love Thora for Inquisitor but am coming to love Asharen more and more since I've been back here, as well as @keepslore. There's a lot of great Rooks so far I'm sure I'll absorb one. 6. What's a fandom work (writing, art, etc) that you think is super cool and you wish more people would see it? Share it with us! I mentioned this Sebastian and Nathaniel fic from Gaia to @mournflame the other day and I think all of you should read it too.

Muse Portion!:

1. Who or what are some things/powers/people that your muse admires? Unfortunately for Nathaniel, his greatest hero was his father growing up. He admired the man very much. 2. Does your muse have a "hero" that they look up to from canon? In an extension of the above, Nathaniel saw Rendon as a hero for his contributions to the Rebellion. He really believed that his father was courageous and brave. 3. What legends, tales, or stories helped to form your muse's ideas of power and heroism? Many! He heard all the stories of the Heroes of the Rebellion as he grew up, from Maric and Loghain to his own father. Standing against the odds, acting noble even when your title has been stripped from you and taking back what is yours by right. Those are the stories that inspired him. 4. Conversely, what sort of legends, tales, or stories formed their idea of what a villain is? Much the same. Nathaniel does not care for Orlais, though chevaliers are a bit softer in his mind thanks to his time with his mother's cousin. 5. Are there other muses in DARP that your muse admires? Or reviles/fears? (be careful with that second one and be RESPECTFUL.) In DARP I think he would admire @mercysought's Anora. He begins hating every HOF that slaughtered his father but especially Couslands. 6. If your muse is someone who has companions or is one of the groups of companions from canon, how do they and their companions play off of each other? Are they friends? Enemies? Two dudes who'd cross the street to avoid each other? What are their most powerful connections within their "group"? He's got a wide variety in the Awakening crew. He and Sigrun are fairly close. He has a crush on Velanna, but she rebuffs him. Anders frustrates him, Oghren disgusts him. Justice... Justice tends to piss him off.

[asarigg]

(Re; My last ask)

Oh yeah, absolutely, Koujaku is staying with Aoba no matter what. I guess he lucked out for once in his life that good ending Aoba is a pretty okay dude, not someone who will mistreat him again. They both have a very "I can keep him in check" energy about them, Aoba with the tattoos and Koujaku with Desire, so there is that slight vibe of "if shit his the fan I'm the only one who can fix him" with them for sure. There's an undercurrent of tension that can rear its head at technically any moment, no matter how idyllic their relationship might be.

It's the butler cafe CD! It's pretty cute, when Koujaku found out that Aoba will be coming, he requested to be the one to serve him, like oh my god, can he get any more pathetically in love 😭 and he calls Aoba "young master" and doesn't want to break character... And Aoba says Koujaku looks really well in a western suit... There's a lot of good stuff in there 😭

Yeah, they totally wanted to rile up Koujaku, it's just that the specific fact that they hit him with "you're too angry" really made me think that they might know about his tattoos and how they work... They are the kind to reaserch anything about anyone close to Aoba to know how to hit them, that's for sure.

I do think that he knew about the mind control aspect, but I never thought about him really thinking it through and choosing Ryuho specifically because of that. I think I saw on Koujaku's anime character sheet, of all things, that his father wanted to tattoo him specifically as a way to officially "welcome" him into the family, so we know that the tattoo was always planned. I think that he wanted to do an irezumi both bc he's pretty traditional (I hc that Koujaku's fondness for the traditional Japanese aesthetic comes from his father's manor (I THINK that would be the right word?) being made in that style. He hated being there, but he did love the visuals of the place, and he had a lot of fond memories of the time he spent with his mom there), and because irezumi is incredibly painful. So he wanted to break Koujaku with the pain of it all, but he also wanted it to look well (his son won't be representing his family well with a shitty ink), hence he hired Ryuho, one of the best in the field.

So yeah, I kinda thought that the "mind control" thing was just something he had to accept if he wanted Ryuho to work on Koujaku, but him knowing and having plans to actively mind control Koujaku is so calculating and in-character, damn. Adds another layer of tragedy to an already tragic story 😭

yesss the butler Koujaku 😭 i remember i did some shitty drawing with it but I can't remember if I kept reading the translation tbh I read him welcoming Aoba like that and died instantly

Yeah like I can't remember right now if it's mentioned, but he probably got taken from Midorijima and had the tattoo started as soon as he arrived to his house to make it like an official thing. To be honest I feel like all the traditional stuff is more because of his mother than his father, but ultimately kind of a mix of both? His father's mansion is most likely in the countryside that's for sure. But everything that he kept that's traditional leans to be a female item. The only things that he gets from his father that we can see are the tattoo, which he hates, and the "inside" of the mansion that we see in his scrap that he pretty much hates too. What he interprets it to be like is just a cold, dark, uncanny endless labyrinth that traps him while the tattoo (and his hatred) eats him away. Even the doors have a huge dragon on them.

Tbh thinking about how the hell did his mother end up there makes me think of her as being from the countryside as well, Koujaku mentions he prefers the mountain too, being in the middle of nowhere probably influenced how he sees and interacts with nature and life in general. I feel like the relationships he has with other people in the island give an impression of him having more of a "city boy" aura around him, going out often to drink at the bar and partying with the ladies 🤪. But he really enjoys the moments of tranquility in his life, he appreciates just sitting around and watching the moon, the birds flying to him in the Cd Drama cover makes me sob, he's an old man at heart <3 i dream about kouao having a faily and getting a cute traditional house surrounded by maple trees mmm 🤤

For real so many stinky vipers around Koujaku's life eugh, it really is Aoba vs Koujaku's 7 evil powerful men that ruined his entire life

[shutyourfacemonsterlover]

Thoughts on Susan Kay's Phantom, part 1: Madeleine

So I thought it'd be more diligent, and my analysis would look more organized if i observed the book as a whole, but considering how each chapter observes in a different facet of his life, with different characters and settings, maybe it'd also be interesting to observe each chapter as its own story. (and my ADHD is out of control and i wanna talk)

And I know the book is...flawed, but it would be interesting to observe and point out what works, what doesn't, and so.

Really saddened there aren't enough fairy tale motifs or dragon imagery tho.

I like this picture imagery Kay suggest with Erik's family at first, that had it not been for tragedy maybe he would've had been a loving, supportive family from the start. His grandfathers and parent sound absolutely sweet, and maybe would've helped with the child from the start.

I also like the nods to the novel and the musical (there's a mention of a grasshopper and mirrors), and a lot of Erik's genius and intellect.

The only thing I kinda don't get is a few elements that i feel didn't work as much as Kay wanted.

Madeleine could be a fascinating character to analyze, since there are shards of a tragic, complex character there. A privileged woman who lost everything in the span of a few months. Knowing how unfair society was back then, how she would resent everything, from her parents to her child to how she was raised. Maybe raise the same question the original novel and musical does, if Erik can still be loved after showin all his flaws; see if we can sympathize with Maddy similarly. But i feel she never develops besides "nasty shallow spoiled brat" and "horrible abusive mother".

Second is Erik's character, in particular his level of intelligence at such a young age. i understand Kay wanted to focus on the idea that he was a "genius", but my suspension of disbelief is a little high when i remember 7 year olds aren't as articulate as he is. (and the mention of him being smart by reading his grandfather's library is a bit of a cop-out). I also feel the moment where he acts "dark" seem a little...strange, like not well thought. i think it's behavior that would appear later on in his life and not so early. If anything he'd be more emotionally / socially stunted and immature than "wicked", if he's lived such an isolated life.

And the elephant in the room...The incestual elements.

I kinda get where Kay is going, and how she wanted to make Erik's abandonment the thesis of her novel, but it comes off as something rather unnerving with the large and erotic focus it gets. (but i guess, if the original source material can play with the Electra complex, this can do it with the Oedipus complex)

It also paints a more tragic picture of Erik, in that no matter which woman he loved, he would always be hunting for the shadow of his mother, and never really love the woman for what she is. And yeah, it's tragic, I get Kay wanted us to sympathize him to the ultimate, but it also diminishes any potential love he might feel for Christine (or anyone else in the realm of phantasies)

I also feel it's kinda incorrect. I might get this wrong, but i often heard children with abusive parents would later grow up to find partners that are very different in personality from their abusers- ea finding the love they were denied in their youth (and that it's often when children have absent parents that they go in search of their "Missing parent figure" in their partners as adults- i might have it wrong, seeing as i'm not a psychologist, but hey, neither is Kay). So Erik would go for somebody kind and gentle, who wouldn't strike him like Madeleine did.

[turian]

beloved gamer mutual & comrade @rhubarbspring tagged me to do a video game about me ( tysm for tagging !! truly loved reading all ur game thoughts. <3 ) explanations behind my choices under the cut.

(also, i had to cheat a little bit in the "you love, everyone hates" category, because i don't think people on tumblr hate da2, but one of my best friends despises it because of reused assets and combat designed more for consoles than pcs. and i can't remember any other controversial beloved games right now. the best i can do is games i love that i'm not sure anyone remembers? imagine ubisoft ballet? which, like. do people hate that. i don't think so).

tagging @cowsquirrel @malcriada @sakraya @ansburg @anoramactir + literally anyone i might have missed who wants to do this

favourite game of all time: so, look, i hate her as much as i love her. i always go back to new vegas even though i have a lot of criticisms of it - i had a realization recently after the release of the fallout show that while maybe i was projecting intergenerational trauma onto the game and using it to process some things, there is a lot in the game that is extremely imperialistic, even as it dabbles in anti imperialism. i can't get into all that here - better essays than i'm capable of have already been written on new vegas - but i also have to admit that new vegas taught me to see game writing differently, and helped me a great deal in improving my own writing. it's also just really entertaining playing later games by obsidian and picking out the new vegas elements. i think that new vegas gets praised too readily for being progressive when in reality it's only the most progressive game in the fallout franchise, and i think every time i return to it i'm noticing one more thing that'll kind of be making my eye twitch. but, yeah, i think it would also be dishonest to not include it here, regardless of my mixed feelings, because i keep going back, and because there are so many angles to it, and because i keep catching myself comparing other games to it.

i think a lot about like........... how so many themes i can relate to exist within the narrative of new vegas, but that doesn't feel entirely intentional. like, benny is so real to me because ! he was forced to assimilate into this culture that was not his to survive. and ulysses as well. and like!!!! yeah idk. going insane. i feel very similarly about dragon age elves tbh i'm like okay i feel seen but also this game is racist! kms :') will be projecting hard and taking so much psychic damage

many such cases tho </3 baldur's gate 3 and their treatment of the gur is always going to be a mix of relatable and uncomfortable to me

favourite series: soulsborne! i like how bleak it is, love the theme of death and rebirth, love how thankless the games can be, and i also love how the combat reminds me of muay thai. had a coach explain something to me using dark souls combat as an example once. i didn't really get these games at first, until i saw my best friend playing - she is ridiculously good at them - and then i sort of realized that they're just combat puzzles, and that like... they're kind of about honing patience, i guess? and after that they really became my favourite.

best soundtrack: honorary mentions: mass effect and dark souls both have some individual tracks i revisit on the daily, and skyrim's secunda is beautiful. but hollow knight doesn't miss, and i love how every track matches its environment.

favourite protagonist: i grew up in a really dysfunctional somewhat criminal family so like... lol. i feel seen when i look at arthur morgan <3 him and charles are both close to my heart. john can stay too ig

favourite villain: SO okay, maybe this is cheating a little, but. the reapers from mass effect. went into that game with zero spoilers, and finding out that they were in fact cosmic horror games was so <3

this would probably have gone to new vegas except benny (and also ulysses + i think he's more narrative foil than antagonist, as is benny) literally did nothing wrong in my eyes and after that point it's like... who is the main antagonist? the ncr and legion both? like yeah they're interesting but...

best story: i haven't actually finished pathologic on my own yet. kind of obsessed, though. just feels responsible to put it here. honorary mentions to new vegas, some fromsoft titles, twd, imagine ubisoft ballet........ (i love her and i miss her).

i feel like a lot of story games i've played actually have garbage stories with good characters, which is why they're not here. baldur's gate 3 and ME, for example. or like... ME has a great story at first but they fuck up the ending so badly that a popular theory i've heard passed around essentially boils down to "it was all a dream!"

have not played but want to: i was actually supposed to apply for a job with the team that made these games !! i didn't because it would have required relocation to the US, but. idk i feel like they keep showing up, always highly recommended, and i think i own one? so yeah, i should really get around to that.

you love, everyone hates: again, i cheated on this one. i don't think people on here hate dragon age 2.

you hate, everyone loves: skyrim, detroit: become human, stardew valley (because it's a weird little cottagecore colonialism game but also because i don't really vibe with the art style and i get stressed as fuck in it because nothing is happening... it is simply not for me), and fallout 3 and 4 (because they're masquerading as games with choices but they fully aren't, they suffer from bethesda writing, and they are super unapologetically racist and imperialist). i mean like... not mad at any of my friends who like these games i just cannot play them. i don't really think any of the games on my list are unimpeachable, tbf.

favourite art style: disco elysium !! it's so <3 like, i also love it for other reasons!! but every time i play it i end up wanting to draw.

favourite ending: new vegas has four endings. i feel differently about them all, but the independent ending is very much shaped by the infrastructure the player assembles during a playthrough, and while it is maybe imperfect and very open ended in some ways i like how it doesn't really reassure the player. also, i really like certain elden ring endings and the dark souls 1 ending. and pathologic.

favourite boss fight: hollow knight has a lot i've really enjoyed (particularly hornet's). for elden ring, malenia is the fave, tho <3 when i defeat her i tend to feel really disappointed. like, get up. let's go again. parrying her is extremely satisfying.

childhood game: we like... found out we had some cousins which is wild because this has been a tiny family since Certain Incidents A Long Time Ago and they also had nintendo ds access and they were not into this game. and like... look, i'm not saying it's great, but it had dark souls ish combat? like, you could lock on? you could roll? and i ended up replaying it as an adult and being like. huh. not that bad.

+ imagine ubisoft ballet ily

relaxing games: distance, injustice 2 (i main red hood & black canary but i like playing robin too. it's super imbalanced and they still haven't nerfed starfire !! and it's incredibly funny like good for her), dark souls 1, and elden ring.

stressful games: again stardew valley because i would play with friends and it was like oh god i need to leave. i do not know what to do, i am useless, i am understimulated

+ red dead online is not a good game to play without substantial backup . so glad i had horse insurance because if i hadn't my only friend in that world would be dead. that said, i did like to hunt in that game + play the fps levels with groups

games you always come back to: new vegas but maybe she'll release me someday. idk. also unfortunately i didn't include it earlier but i keep going back to the sims 4 and baldur's gate 3. and fromsoft titles because i sometimes just crave that combat.

guilty pleasure: new vegas again!!! i guess i kind of talked about my extremely complicated feelings when i first spoke about it, but yeah. there's just so much to unpack and i'm never going to forgive it for a lot of things. the horrors and the joys are both numerous but the joys will never not be tainted by the horrors

tons of hours played: elden ring + bg3 + new vegas + mass effect. i don't have the hours of new vegas and mass effect available tho as they are confined to a now dead xbox 360

[ubtendo]

Top 10 childhood videogames?

Wait, that's such a fun question, but I'm blanking on games I played in my childhood because I played so many😭

This list could have been a lot more obscure, but I tried to keep it more basic

Uhh and if anyone wants the reasoning for any game, I'm talking a bit about them under the cut

1. Tomodachi Life

One of my first actual games that I got to choose for my self and I still love it to this day. I mean if you haven't been struggling with the question "who in this ship could be a woman" because you made your favourite ship into miis with the plan on them marrying , but they are both guys and there is no option for a gay relationship, than have you even lived. I remember I got this game on my 10th birthday and I keept running back inside our house to charge my nintendo because I wouldn't stop playing for one second. Even now I still boot it up on my birthday first thing in the morning to see the mii version of my friends, family and favourite characters sing happy birthday to me.

2. Dragon Quest Monsters Joker

Hands down, if tomodachi life didn't exist, then this would have been my all time favourite game. I'm so surprised that I never see people talk about this game. If you like pokemon, then you will also like this. I watched my mom play it when I was really little, then we lost the game and my brother re-bought it a few years back, but decided he doesn't want to play it anymore pretty early on, so he gave the game to me. I only beat the final boss this year and my main complaint about this game is that lvl. grinding is PAINFULLY SLOW but I'm nothing if not patient so I got through the fight eventually.

3. Pokemon Alpha Sapphire

My first pokemon game and the one I replayed the most. If they never made a new pokemon game you would still find me playing this. I made so many memories in this game, I can't even begin to tell you any because I wouldn't stop. This holds a very special place in my heart.

4. Miitopia

Well when I first heard that there was a sort of successor / spin of of tomodachi life, I was set. I got it as soon as our store had it, and after losing all my games (story for an other day, sort of embarrassing, don't ask) I bought it again and I got my friends to play it as well and I was so happy. I remember that I was sitting in our garden and fighting the final boss only fo find out that that wasn't the final boss, I was so devastated but also so happy that the game wasn't over yet. What can I say, I'm just a simple RPG lover.

5. Animal Crossing New Leaf

In my opinion, a way better game than new horizon. I mean yeah, horizon got a lot of great features but it doesn't hold the candle to new leaf. This game just has such a sommer night vibe to me, but that might be because I keep staying up late to catch beatles all night on the island. Also THE MUSIC DON'T EVEN LET ME GET STARTED

6. New Style Boutique

I'm pretty sure I didn't buy this game myself, and it would feel weird for my parents to have bought it for me because I was a sort of tomboy-ish girl back then, but I played this game so much, and honestly I sometimes so today as well. Ok, maybe I only ever wore the bunny handbag and got the space buns hairstyle but I lived for that. I have the other 2 3ds games and the original ds game as well, but I haven't played much of them.

7. Go Vacation

Ok now we get a bit more obscure. Specially the wii version. I mentioned this before, but I loved the diving minigame and I spent hours underwater just doing that. Mainly I just loved running around the resorts and doing whatever. Me and my brother also sometimes raced down from the peak of the mountain in the snow resort and we placed bets on who would win. Fun game even tho I don't remember any other minigame except diving.

8. Cooking Academy

So my mom gave me her old laptop when I was idk seven? And she still had this game so she gave that to me as well. And I might or might have not burnt every dish that went into the oven. Honestly my cooking skills haven't improved since then, so I guess I'm just very consistent.

9. GTA 2

Ok so I actually never really played that game myself and I only watched my brother play on our uncle's old windows 98 PC. The funny thing is tho is, we were really young, like REALLY YOUNG. I'm pretty sure we never played the story and we just drove with the cars and tried to steal the police cars everytime and hunt down the hot dog car. Real nostalgic to me even tho I wouldn't play it myself even nowadays.

10. Sims 2

Again, my mom gave it to me with her PC. Sims 3 was already long out and I played that as well, but I remember this one much more. Maybe because my version had some weird graphic glitches where all the walls and the whole overworld looked like a red and black checkers board that would make your eyes bleed. Sims in general I remember very fondly because of my mama